#will i make their lives miserable

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍 #hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well. #obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it. #realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway. #so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct! #and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want... #best case scenario. is what i'm saying. #every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day. #fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :) #aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself. #FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

[serialunaliver]

another thing I hate is when people say engaging with a persons delusions is bad because it validates the illness.

i'm not sure how to tell you this, but psychosis validates itself. delusions involve a lack of awareness that you're experiencing a delusion and others referring to the delusion as a delusion can create distrust. if someone is more content having others engage in symptoms like this in a positive way there's nothing wrong with it and it may make it easier to cope.

#literally fuuuuck that group therapy program that said I can't attend when I reject antipsychotics to get rid of my world #ITS BEEN DONE BEFORE AND I FELT SO MISERABLE I HAD NO DESIRE TO LIVE #I don't even think my world is a delusion this is justwhat doctors say #but i'm glad if people engage with it..Why does this make me bad?

[vampireposter]

meeting wyll at the grove, as someone who the tieflings trust enough to train their children, says so much about him. it's so sad that he doesn't get explored in acts 2-3 as deeply as the other companions, when his problems are equally intense. the average player probably long rests once before coming across the grove, but even if not, in that time wyll has already proven to the tieflings that they can rely on the Blade of Frontiers.

this is the immediate first thing he chooses to do after being condemned to slow death via ceremorphosis. his priority list in the first conversations with tav is: 1) hunt down a dangerous devil, 2) help zevlor with the goblins, 3) once nothing threatens the tieflings he will gladly search for a tadpole cure. wyll is perpetually his own last priority, and i wonder if it has to do with the lore about souls.

if he believes mind flayers' souls have been destroyed, and fiend warlocks will all have their souls sent to the hells after death, then becoming a mind flayer isn't the worst possible way for him to die. he would never become a mindless monster to save his own soul, but he's not gripped by horror the way that some of the other origin characters are. lae'zel has been made revoltingly impure to her people, astarion is terrified of losing the scrap of bodily autonomy he just regained, gale is guilt-ridden over the orb detonation if he dies, shadowheart has to survive to prove herself to her cult leader, and karlach has also just regained bodily autonomy and is desparate to live.

this is just another quest for the Blade, whose persona guards wyll ravengard against the vice of self-concern when he ought to be concerned for those in need.

#wyll ravengard #bg3 #writing a wyll pov thing in order to roleplay harder in my durge playthrough & ive become obsessed w him #i love him so much. he doesnt even really get to realize in-game how traumatized he is and in act 3 he has not healed any really #come here wyll we are going to learn about self care. you & durge need to overcome the desire to give up your lives for your fathers ideals #faerun doesnt have LMHCs so wyll gets my durge who currently thinks he is (a miserable failure of) a cleric of ilmater. #this fic is practice for my 'ascended tavastarion struggle to quit being Like That' character study thing wherein i am struggling w dialogu #loving working on both. im in my little dollhouse making my toys try out lines until they fit #vampireposted

[dingbatsy]

He’s cute when he’s angry 🤭

#radiostatic #staticradio #voxal #alastor #vox #hazbin hotel #i cannot wait until season 2 #how will alastor make vox’s life more miserable #he lives for it #it’s how he flirts #it’s fine #dingbatsy #my art

[lightasthesun]

if Filoni kills Cody and Obi-Wan lives 20 years in a desert thinking Cody betrayed him I will actually throw myself off a cliff

#'i still think of my second in command whom i called commander Cody *fondly*' #'we make our own decisions our own choices and we have to live with them too' #obi wan kenobi #codywan #commander cody #im just really miserable rn

[heartorbit]

just how can i protect your smile?

#you guys like yaoi? can i get you some yaoi #pjsk #prsk #project sekai #proseka #tsukasa tenma #rui kamishiro #ruikasa #AUUUUUGH. #this is what finally makes me actually draw riks. vocaloid autism #putting the link in the caption because NOBODY FUCKIGN TLAKS ABOUT SCISSORHANDS EVER WHERES THE HYPE I NEED HER. SONG OF THE DECADE(2009) #this song makes me incredibly normal. my bad. i saw the miume choreography when i was like 11 and my brain shifted #i wanted their outfits to look like mikus in the mv so bad. Fuck my life for that btw stupid fuckign frill trim. why did she have to slay #tried to think of smth other than butterflies for kasa but i have no brain and tbh i hope his life is miserable so its fine #me posting this only to tmblr and not twt because i fucking hate twt #im drawing more song covers that live in my mind palace so i'll pist them there all together. and maybe here all together. who give a shit. #emnn skeleton orchestra next and it will fix me #Good lord. sorry. Im so caught up posting this for no reason. Get me out of here #im supposed to have a lecture in 3 hours but post covid symptoms say otherwise. im so fucked #i have a cyberpunk dead boy wip with them but idk i dont like posting wips on here its like an archive. n i want to actually finish it #but dear lord rendering it with their stupid outfits. clutches my chest falls to the floor. AUUUUGH #wxs killing me killing me taking damage augh auugh aughg

[frodo-a-gogo]

also final word on this probably- I *like* Joyce Messier a great deal as a character. I think she's cool and interesting. I find it fascinating that she tends to approach things very bluntly. the words she uses and the manner in which she analyzes things, this is sort of an instance of a character who knows exactly *what she is* and articulates it in a manner congruent with the writers of the game. she is, as she says wryly but honestly, "a bourgeois woman". i cant think of too many rich people who would without prompting and prodding, self identify with marxist social taxonomies in this way, even with a thin veil of ironic self deprecation. She's educated. she knows the words and the motivating logics of class analysis. and shes *cool*. harry picks that up. honesty is cool. bluntness is cool. cynicism is cool. she is quite open about her place in the world and how she conceives of it. unlike a lot of other powerful figures in the game, i dont think shes completely swallowed by self justifying rhetoric the way, say, sunday friend is. or she is up to a point. she knows about countercultural movements and she has affinities for them and is also aware that they inevitably are consumed by capital. (this, by the way, is kind of complex in that like. ok its a depressing reality but also i think if the de team was fully bought into that line of thinking, they would not make this game. it is telling that joyce of all people would critique cindy on the basis of capital subsuming revolutionary art. I dont think joyce is wrong per se, but i think she is drawn to that line of thinking because it is *very comforting for someone of her class position to dismiss the value and power of revolutionary art and critique of capital* just a thought) She's disgusting in that her power is not rightfully hers. her position is not rightfully hers. she is actively repressing and oppressing others in service of disgusting, semi-fascistic, hypercapitalist forces. shes enjoying the comforts and benefits that such a role allows her. shes disgusting shes frustrating shes profoundly arrogant (as her clash with evrart claire proves definitively). Her self satisfied idiocy is what allows her to play with fire and foolishly assume she cannot be burned. She's smart but her comfortable position puts the blinders on her and so she's also pretty fucking stupid. and shes also deeply deeply sad. I empathize. I pity her. She's so fucking sad. I don't think she is drawn to self medication and self destruction through constant pale exposure or all that rueful nostalgic rumination for no reason. She knows what she is to the world and she knows what she's doing and she's too cowardly and comfortable and self interested to change, but she's too self-aware to ignore it completely. I think she probably dislikes herself to some degree and i think its destroying her. Like most of the cast of the game, she's complex and deeply human. She's hateful, but I also think she is too well realized to hate, at least not for me.

#i envy her obviously but i also pity her a fucking lot #i think she lives an adventurous appealing life that is largely facilitated by her moral cowardice #and is honestly characterized as profoundly empty and disheartening for her #shes a vibrant person and that vibrancy is being turned to ugly ends and its killing the spark #oppressive structures are bad for the oppressors too #joyce is a middleman to power but she is still in a place of power over the ppl she interacts with #that grants her a lot of excellent perks but its making her miserable and it renders her deeply pathetic imo #disco elysium #joyce messier

[sinlizards]

Ambiguity

#kaname date #Renju Okiura #aitsf #ai the somnium files #my art #undescribed #fan art #um. i dont think these guys even have a ship tag so whatever #i have a lotta thoughts about them #two best friends at the gay bar what terribly messy bonds will they form #making everyone's lives more miserable and complicated in the process #daterenju #<-edit: after much consideration i will tag it as that cuz no combination of their names work very well

[darth-does-stuff]

ok everybody saying dan fucks is conrad’s dad you do you but for ME personally the fix will always be conrad’s dad because dan gives cool uncle vibes 1000000% percent more than the fix ever will. but we will both live our truth and we will both be happy 🤝

#because let’s be honest the fix is NOT gonna let conrad live in an alley guys #in my heart the fix adopted conrad and conrad is one of those kids going ‘did you know’ because he learned it from the fix!!!!! #and once again dan fucks is conrad’s dad truthers good for you #but i really don’t think dan would make a great dad LMAO he berates conrad a little too much even if it’s affectionate #i simply cannot hear the fix going ‘i think it’s time to unlearn that lesson’ and saying he’s just conrad’s UNCLE #i do wish alex got to say what conrad got to do though :( #but yeah for me the fix adopted conrad and he went from being a tiny miserable kid living on the streets #to being in a loving family with siblings and a support system <3 #and justin of course!!!!!!!! #dimension 20 #mentopolis #mentopolis spoilers #conrad schintz #the fix #dan fucks #d20 mentopolis #man i love all of these characters #this season was PEAK

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The red spot is a chili flake

The red spot is a chili flake... (context)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #ask #jin ling #It makes so much sense...wwx stores the chilli in his cheek pouches for easy deployment. In case of Bland Food emergency. #This is how he survives living with the Lans. #And how he trains his new body how to tolerate spice. #Poor jin ling does not have this resistance. He is taking burn damage the entire walk back home. Someone rub high fat yogurt on that boy. #Just in case its not a universal common experience to prepare peppers with your bare hands (like a fool) and touch your face (LIKE A FOOL): #that stuff *burns*. I try to remember to wear gloves but alas. This year we grew Serranos! Tasty little guys but mistakes were made. #Dont process peppers with cuts on your hands. Or rub your eyes. Actually: please jut wear gloves while handling peppers. #I can eat those puppies raw no problem but I am miserable when it gets into my eyes.

[bylrndgm]

UNKNOWN ST5 SCENE (x)

#byler #mine #mine:gif #st5 spoilers #um the way i'm giffing this like a PROPER gifset just to make a comparison gifset when the actual scene comes out LMAO #to me this is a coming out/break up scene #platonic elmike here i come! #fourth gif (second row - right): he says will change my mind #<- i know i am biased but let me live #pls i'm feeling so miserable lately LET ME BE DELULU #also omg my first s5 gifset!!!?

[revenantghost]

Can you imagine if we finally get a semi-accurate adaptation of Trimax

And it's live-action

#Trigun #Trimax #Trigun Maximum #I'm sick and miserable and I'M DRAGGING YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME #Anyway back to being passed out and incoherently sick byyyyeeee enjooooyyyy #(I think Trigun might actually make a fun live-action. But 98 specifically probably)

[reddbuster]

I see people talking about how Dahlia is fragile and calling her a girlfailure and all that and I mean I don't disagree but the thing is. You need to understand that she's not fragile in a frail way. She's fragile like a bomb about to go off she's fragile in the way that honeybees die when they sting. Dahlia isn't a genius mastermind or a pathetic little girl with no agency. She's a self fulfilling prophecy who drove herself to destruction because she never got to see that there were other ways to live than to fight her way to the finish line. DO YOU GET WHAT I'M SAYING this is why the ending of Trials and Tribulations fucks me up

#She's driven by self-destructive bitterness because she's a miserable person who lived a miserable life. #She went so far to hurt Mia because hating Mia gave her a purpose and somewhere to direct all that bitterness #She drags Mia's memory behind her like Achilles dragging Hector's corpse around the walls of troy #does this even make any sense or am I insane im like half asleep rn #ace attorney #dahlia ace attorney #dahlia hawthorne #fey girls tag

[pokemon-npcs]

#pokemon npcs #BW2 #Unova #battle subway #trainer class: clerk #trainer class: office worker #pokémon BW2 #....I should make a collection of NPCs that are miserable at their jobs (though I guess this one is just implied to be) #it seems to be quite common #....at least they usually have pokémon to bring joy into their lives

[1driedpersimmon]

More Sesame doodles!! Also. Can you guys tell when .. *that* happened.. yeah

#ff #ffxiv #Sesame #mmm #yeah I guess I’ll tag he others too #Tataru #I love her btw she’s sooo cute #Alphinaud #haurchefant #I like the recommended tags for him btw the first was haurchefant my beloved and the second haurchefant lives au #I get it…. #I played that part today actually #I wasn’t ok #and now I’ll make Sesame miserable too #MAN WHAT THE HELL…. #THE FIRST PERSON I DECIDE TO HAVE SESAME KISS #D I E S #I’m sorry my boy I’ll pick another good person for you… euueuue #fu c k… #also that Ishgard armor with he skirt…. immaculate I’m never changing (I will but I love the skirt… heh)

[daftpatience]

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

#theres no peace #every little thing reminds me we are poor #seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time #im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly #the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job #and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support #and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money #because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live #its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin #time #cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for #sorry for the ranting i cant sleep #truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin #more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful #i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it #i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things #spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income #not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it