#will add a readmore when im on my computer

[nonbinarylowkey]

Hello miss/sir, I loved your recent Loki head cannon and I was probably wondering while on a mission with the “Past” Loki and you know they got into a fight where he yelled, “it's your fault” this ”future” S/o got some nightmarish flashback about “future” Loki getting killed by Thanos and her PTSD starts kicking in and tries to blame herself for not helping the “future” Loki. Thank you!

They're both soaked.

There's sludge in Loki's hair and a sneer on his lips. He shucks off the bulky, water logged TVA uniform jacket, tossing it into the river they just pulled themselves from. 

Loki's partner isn't in a much better state. Most of the sludge that had covered her washed off in the water as she fought (and occasionally failed) to keep her head above water. But her attention shifts between Loki and the shattered device she pulled from her pocket when they made it onto dry land. Loki doesn't seem to have noticed it yet; there's no time to dwell on her own discomfort when she needs to use what scent time she's been given to find a way to gently break the news to him.

"Hey, Loki?"

He looks at her. The movement of her hand brings his gaze downward where she's covered the wreckage of the only thing that could get them back to base.

"What is it?"

"This planet seems pretty nice, don't you think? Why don't we stay here for a while; take a break?"

"This planet is a backwater wasteland. What reason could you possibly have for wanting to remain here?" He sniffed, all of his derision and judgment clear from that one forceful inhale.

Well, ah… mostly I want to stay because, well, we have to?" Her voice went high at the end of her explanation, making it sound more like a question than a statement. She moved her hand from the pieces of the device so that Loki could see what had happened. 

Silence settled between them. She held her breath. Loki stood statuesque.

One moment.

Two.

Three.

Fou--

Loki grabbed her one-handed by the throat, squeezed hard enough that her breath was restricted, even if it wasn't cut off completely. A knife materialized in his other hand.

"We are stuck her until that wretched organization of busybodies deigns to notice our absence and given their utter disconnect from the flow of time, how long do you suppose that will be, hm?" He drops her, uncaring of the way she crumples to the dirt. "This is your fault. You will be the one to fix this mess."

***

It's funny, really, how life has a way of going from bad to worse without any consideration for how the people living it feel. 

As it turns out, backwater wasteland planets have very few lodgings for travellers. And what lodgings they do have, tend to have very few rooms. In fact, they only have one room, apparently. 

Naturally, that room only has one bed.

"I can take the couch to make up for not being more careful with the transporter thingy," she says; an olive branch, if a somewhat flimsy one.

"Yes, you can take it," he says.

They say nothing more to each other for the rest of the night.

***

She's been here before.

Not physically, no, but she has dreamed of this place many times before. How long has it been since the last time? A year? Longer? 

The ship stinks of blood and death; of sick and shit and piss from bodies of dead Asgardians who could no longer control what came out of them during their final despairing moments.

She kneels in a pool of Asgardian blood. A spotlight shines down on her and in the dream this seems utterly natural. Everyone else is dead. Where else does a light need to shine? She is the only thing left for the killers to see.

Another spotlight illuminates a circle of space directly in front of her. She looks up.

The giant is there. He is cradling something- no, someone in his arms. 

"You understand what it is like to have a demanding love," the giant says. The words are gentle. She can almost believe he cares. "People like us, who love like us, will do whatever is necessary for the ones we love."

He deposits the body at her knees. Still gentle, always gentle. The giant backs away. His spotlight fades. The area surrounding her spotlight has gone completely black again. She is alone.

She knows who lies in front of her before she looks. She has been here before, after all. She has experienced this all before.

Still, when she finally forces herself to look on Loki's gray, lifeless face, she screams. She screams until her throat is raw; until she is coughing so hard from the force of it that she's certain blood must be coming up. She screams until her voice gives out. 

Tears and snot drip from her face onto his. 

A hand rests on her shoulder. Someone is standing behind her.

"This is your fault, you know."

Loki kisses the top of her head. His dead body grins up at her. The Loki at her back wraps his arms around her shoulders.

"You left. You knew the threat and you still left me to die at the hands of my abuser."

"I know," she whispers. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" He laughs. A knife materializes in his hand. He gives it to her. "You're sorry. I know you are, my love. That is why I have one request."

No. No. No no no no nononononono.

She squeezes the hilt of the knife. Her arms shakes from the effort of keeping it in place. She knows what his request is. Knows, too, that it's nothing more than a torture her own mind has come up with.

The Loki at her knees opens his eyes. The Loki behind her maneuvers her hand so that she is holding the tip of the blade to his heart.

"I want to know that you understand your role in all this," the Loki behind her says.

"You are going to kill me," the Loki in front of her says.

"This is your fault," they both say. "You must know this is your fault."

She sobs, shaking her head wildly. "No, no, no, please no. Please, Loki. I can't."

"You already did!" The one behind her says.

She tries to pull her hand away, to drop the knife. The Loki in front of her won't let her go. He's got a grasp on her hand, keeping her grasp on the knife. He raises their hands. 

"Say my name," the Loki behind her whispers. "Scream my name as you slip the blade between my ribs. Your final act of love; to kill me when no one else has."

And when the Loki in front of her brings her hand down and the blade is buried beneath his skin, she does.

***

She screams his name over and over and ov--

Her head collides with Loki's chin when she jolts awake.

She throws herself into his arms. One shaky breath is all the warning there is before a sob bursts from her. Her tears come fast, soaking the shirt Loki had worn to sleep. Logically, she knows that she has no business clinging to this Loki. This is not the Loki she dreamed of, not her dead husband, not even a version of Loki that particularly likes her. But he still smells and feels like the Loki she knew and loved and so she clings with all her might.

And though this Loki is none of those things, he does not push her away. She wonders if he looked into her dreams. If he saw her dream of his death at the hands of Thanos; of his corpse forcing her to kill him all over again. She isn't sure she'd be upset with him if he had. 

"You were crying," he says, nose pressed to her hair. He rubs circles along her back. "You called my name."

"I'm sorry," she whispers. She isn't sure if she's apologizing for waking him or for killing him.

"I'm here."

It's exactly what she needs to hear.

Without another word, he lifts her off of the couch and brings her to the bed. He drops her in the center of it, settling down next to her with his arm around her waist. 

She'd be tempted to laugh at how similar this Loki is to the one she knew if the memory of his near constant desire for touch wasn't so painful now. She sighs, instead.

"Sleep," he commands.

So she does. This time, Thanos doesn't appear.

#loki angst #loki x ofc #loki x reader #loki fluff #my writing #will add a readmore when im on my computer #im on mobile right now and i just dont know how to do it on the app

[emubop]

An update, pt. 2

As promised, an update on where I’m at in my life, for those of you who check these things (and also for my own reference, since this tumblr is kinda like a journal at this point). Long post ahoy!

- I’ve been struggling with school, and what I wanna do, and where I’m going in life, for the past several months. I’d previously thought I wanted to get a bachelor’s degree and be an English major, but that motivation disappeared one day and never came back. I kept trying to think of what I’d wanna major in instead, but nothing really sounded right. And I started realizing that while I like the “sitting in class and learning” aspect of school, the rest just... isn’t working for me. But because I’ve had this image in my head for so long of going to college and being successful in that way, it was hard for me to let go.

- I did poorly this past semester. It’s not the first semester I’ve done poorly, not by a long shot. After each time, I’d think “okay, next one will be different.” And maybe one or two were different. But the same struggle always came back. I’m certain that I could push through it and get a degree, if I really wanted to, but I’m so tired of being a square peg trying to shove myself into a round hole. It doesn’t feel worth it to struggle so much for something I may not truly want.

- What do I want to do with my life, then? Fuck if I know! But I do know that I don’t want a four-year degree right now. Maybe someday, sure, but not now. Right now I feel burned out on school, and I want to just go work and live for a bit.

- The issue, as I’m sure many of you know, is that minimum wage in the US isn’t a livable wage. Even in my state, which is slowly raising the minimum wage. But it’s hard to find a job above that without some kind of degree or other.

- So I’m gonna be going to trade school. To learn what? Not sure yet! I’m still exploring and deciding. But the chance to learn an immediately applicable skill is one I’m much more eager for than I am for traditional schooling.

- I’m lucky, in that I have two good parents who love me very much and are willing to support me through this transition. Fuck, they’re the ones who helped me realize that I needed this transition, since I’m the ruler of denial lmao. I haven’t been healthy or happy the past few months, and they gave me the push I needed to see it.

- As part of picking myself up again, I’m moving back home. My parents helped me pay for the place I’m currently staying, but that was contingent on me being in school, which isn’t on the table anymore (and I’m not enrolled in trade school yet, so it’ll be a few months before I’m taking classes again). I’m not really thrilled about this, which is part of why I was in denial for so long - I knew I’d have to move back if I wasn’t doing well, and I didn’t want to move back. I still don’t. But I’ve come to terms with it, and both my parents and I agree that this is temporary. They want to see me be independent and thrive just as much as I do. And hey, this means I get to see my dog more often! Bonus!

- So that’s gonna be the next few months of my life: checking out trade school, improving my health, and getting to a better place mentally.

- At some point I would also like to come out to my parents, because I know they’d be fine with it, but I wanna wait until things calm down a bit. My mom would still love and support me, of course, but it would be an adjustment for her, and she’s going through a lot right now. I’m okay with waiting if it means it’ll be a better experience for all of us.

- I’ve also been thinking a lot about religion recently, which isn’t really a new thing - I’ve been questioning my religion on and off for the past several years. Trying to figure out what I believe in. Waffling between “meh” and Christianity and back again, none of it feeling right. It’s been a deeply personal journey, so I haven’t really shared it before, and it will likely continue that way. But I finally hit something that genuinely feels like it works for me, and I’m excited about it, so here - I’m pagan! Very solitary, very eclectic, and very happy.

- Like I said, that probably won’t change anything for this blog, but I had to share it somewhere, because I’m really excited to start this journey.

- All in all, I’ve had some downs during the past few months, and it took me a while to get rid of this ideal that I had for what my early 20s would look like. That ideal wasn’t realistic, and I knew that. I just had it for so long that it was hard to let go of. Letting go is a process, one I’m still working on, but I’ve let go enough to be able to accept a new path for myself - one that feels a lot better to me than what I was previously on.

- So anyway, here’s to 20bi-teen! Let’s keep moving forward!

#emubops life #long post #anyway work is dead and im bored #i woke up this morning with two big zits on my face which is annoying #but otherwise im pretty alright! hope u guys are doing good #if u read this whole post and the tags ilu #i meant to do this earlier when i was at home but i got distracted w other stuff #so now im on mobile and cant add a readmore guh #but ill add one later once im by my computer again!

[dealmeout]

how to make an episode of m*a*s*h with HD video, but no laugh track: an advanced guide

(under a readmore, because it's extremely long and technical)

(you've been warned. also i wish i could put a pic up at the top here but i can't upload any more images 😔)

welcome one and all to my silly guide. i feel kind of goofy because im sure someone's done this already, like... it's m*a*s*h... but at this point i feel like i've got the process working well for my own personal use, so i might as well detail it. let's jump right in!

you'll need:

two (2) copies of your chosen episode -- one 16:9 HD copy w/ laugh track, and one 4:3 SD copy without. any file format should be fine, MKV and MP4 are what i personally work with

audacity (+ffmpeg) - https://www.audacityteam.org/download/

mkvtoolnix gui - https://mkvtoolnix.download/downloads.html

disclaimer -- i'm not responsible for you nuking your m*a*s*h episodes/computer/etc. as a result of this guide. (it's pretty safe and we're not going to be saving over any existing files tho)

also i tried to write everything like i was doing it for the first time, but if stuff is glaringly wrong or you run into issues, please shoot me a DM/ask and i can help

lastly, this is definitely like... kind of a technical process, and i'm probably bad at explaining it. again, nothing is really at risk here, but if you don't feel comfortable doing it you might want to stick to your single SD/HD copy. and hey, i'll take requests -- if there's a scene you really want to see, just let me know!

still here? cool. there are two parts of this process:

create a properly timed audio track

add this audio track to our existing HD video track

part 1 - create the audio track in audacity

(first time only) audacity + ffmpeg setup:

install audacity

go to this page and follow the steps under recommended installer -> https://manual.audacityteam.org/man/installing_ffmpeg_for_windows.html

now we can import our episode's video files into audacity 👍

90% of the work is in this part. we're gonna be doing s04e08 (the kids) cause i wanna watch it later. let's start:

open audacity

drag and drop both of your video files in there. i recommend doing HD first, then SD

when it's done, you should see something like this:

okay SO

we're looking at a visual, spectrogram view (aka a spectral) of the audio track of the entire episode. when you see "hotter" colors like white-yellow-orange, that's basically like... the stuff that you and i can hear, so dialogue, music, all that. the height of the spikes correspond to the frequency of the audio. this is all getting kind of technical but you can read more about spectrals here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectrogram

i also made this picture and i think it's cool so im including it. imagine hawkeye explaining spectrals to you... wow he's so smart :)

ok back to what we're actually looking at. i've annotated it a bit below to show roughly how a typical ep is split up -- you can see we have our theme song, our 2 main parts, our end scene, and the ending theme.

the red highlighted areas are where we'll be working. if you zoom in on either pic, you can see that our sections are split up by black vertical lines -- in the world of spectrals, black = silence. these silent sections are where commercials/ads would be added in, and it's also where our 2 audio tracks fall out of sync.

most importantly, this is where we'll be deleting or generating parts of the audio track -- only inside these silent portions (which will be much bigger when we zoom in.) we don't want to touch any portions with actual audio data, cause that might make things sound weird.

important note/technical explanation: there are 4 spectral lines total because each audio track is stereo and has 2 channels -- left and right. when i say "top track" or "bottom track", i'm referring to the 2 L+R channels as one track. don't worry too much about left vs right channels individually, they're gonna be the same.

the process starts at the very beginning, with the opening theme:

move your mouse over to the very start of the spectral portion

a yellow line should pop up. (it doesn't matter which track you're on.)

click once

at the top of the main audacity window, find the "zoom in" icon (it's the magnifying glass with the plus sign) and click 8 or 9 times

you can also hold the ctrl key and scroll with your mouse wheel. the scrollbar at the bottom will let you move around horizontally

your view should look like this now -- we want to be seeing around 3 to 6 seconds at once.

check out the specs. the 4 main "points" of yellow/orange/pink literally correspond to the 4 guitar notes of the opening song... i think that's kinda cool. doo doo doo doo...

see how the top track is a little bit misaligned from the bottom track though? we need them to line up exactly, so...

find a common point or peak that you can recognize on both the bottom and top tracks

on the bottom track, click at the start of this peak

drag your mouse until the guideline hits the start of this peak on the top track. do your best to line it up, it might take a few tries at first

i’ve created a cute little gif so you can see how i do it:

now that we have our selection, we have to find out the exact difference in timing. look down at the bottom left, where it says "start and length of selection" -- we need the second small number there. this time it's 74ms, which honestly isn't a very big time difference at all (it's usually between .5 and 3 seconds)

but regardless, we need to remove these 74ms from the bottom track to make it sync with the top. but we don't want to remove any actual audio data. so:

in the bottom track, click and drag your mouse and create a selection with that magic number, but only in the area of silence, as shown below:

hit the delete key

the audio tracks should be in sync now, and the peaks should (more or less) match up

one way we can check is to click at the beginning, then hit space to playback. you should hopefully hear the theme song (it might be a little louder than normal since we're playing it twice)

if it doesn't sound right, or if your peaks didn't end up matching, hit ctrl-z to undo and try again

let's do the next part, which is after the theme song ends -- about 50 seconds in. zoom out (use the buttons, or ctrl + scroll your mouse) to find it, then zoom back in until you get a comfortable window where you can see the peaks

we can see that it's not matching up again, so follow the same procedure:

click and drag on the bottom track to make a selection

match your peaks

get the timing

remove that length of time from the bottom track

check that it matches the top

now i'm gonna talk about adding time to the bottom track, as opposed to the deleting that we've been doing so far.

so here we are about halfway in, between parts 1 and 2 -- we can see the tracks are waaaaay off, and this time our bottom track is ahead.

this time, click and drag from the top track. this is so we get our handy guiding line to come up on the bottom track. here's another gif:

our time difference is 2.766 seconds, so pretty substantial! to add time to the bottom track, just do this:

on the bottom track, click anywhere in the silent portion

select Generate -> Silence from the top toolbar

key in your duration (the time difference)

click OK and you should be all matched up!

and that's kind of it. you'll need to zoom out again and look for another section of silence, then realign the audio tracks. generally this needs to happen 5-6 times per episode, but it goes quicker once you learn your way around audacity

other tips and tricks:

if your finished SD audio ends up being a teensy bit longer than the HD, just clip it at the end to match the HD track (we want to match the HD audio track's length cuz we're using its video track.) select what's there and hit delete (audacity should "snap" to the end with a yellow line)

(i've only seen this in SD s1/s2 so far) you might have tracks with near-continuous audio, so no black portions at all. just do your best with silence generation/deletion, and always play it back so that you can tell by ear

if you notice an extremely substantial time difference (± 30 seconds) between files, or your black lines aren't matching up at all, this method probably won't work :( (this is actually what made me realize my copy of SD s4 was sped up)

i've only done this for seasons 1-4. i don't think 5-11 would be that much different, but you never know

will not work out of the box on s04e01 welcome to korea if your SD version is the whole thing but your HD version is the one they split for syndication. (i might try to cobble something together though)

probably won't work with gfa if it's split the same way? i dont want to think about gfa right now guys, i just got here

once you're done and it all sounds good, here's what you need to do to export your audio:

close out your HD (top) track by clicking the X next to the file name

click File -> Export -> Export Audio

save it wherever

for file type, pick FLAC file

level = 8, bit depth = 16-bit

click Save

click Clear, then OK

ok NOW we're done with part 1. you're a hero if you've made it this far, and your toil will be worth it. think about all the gay little jokes you'll be able to watch in sexy modern 1080p!

part 2 - combine audio + video in mkvtoolnix

(first time only) mkvtoolnix setup:

install it

all right all right this is super duper easy

open up mkvtoolnix GUI, you should see a big screen. drag and drop your original, HD video file in there

it should populate a little list of the elements that make up your video file -- so subtitles, video track, and audio track. uncheck the audio box to exclude the HD audio cuz we don't want her

go and find the audio track you made in audacity, drag and drop that in there too (if it says something about a new source file, just make sure the top bubble is selected and click ok)

here's what it should look like, more or less:

hit "start multiplexing" at the bottom

that's it!

watch your episode and have fun :) if it doesn't sound or look right to your eyes, you can always go back and mess with it again

...so yeah there you have it. i don't do this for every episode i watch because you are missing out on stuff visually with a 16:9 crop, but idk, it's kinda fun to do and zen-like once you get quick at it. i'm insane btw

some final notes/thoughts:

i know the spectral stuff is the biggest learning curve, but imo, doing it this way is probably least harmful to the source video/audio, since we're only cutting or generating audio in silent portions. the video track isn't changed at all

as you probably noticed by now, this was all done on windows, but audacity/ffmpeg/mkvtoolnix GUI is available for macOS/linux, so you could probably do this on those platforms too

if you have the DVDs a fresh rip would probably be the best source possible for the SD audio. i'm trying to get my hands on them now bc the audio in my SD copy definitely doesn't sound as good as the HD 😔

i know this whole guide is on how to remove it, but i swear i don't even hate the laugh track THAT much, like it's fine. i just like doing weird stuff on the computer

you don't need to remove the HD audio track in mkvtoolnix. if you want both audio tracks, you can just toggle between them

(only audio nerds will care about this) i really REALLY hate doing lossy -> lossless (FLAC) for the audacity export because it's just inflating the file size for no reason, but i'm not sure if there's a better alternative? like... personally, i would rather have a lossless copy of the lossy audio rather than risking an additional lossy transcode on it. but if that doesn't worry you you could probably export as higher-quality AAC and it would be fine, yolo

sooooo that's all for now! if you end up actually cutting an episode this way and the guide worked PLEASE tell me i would love to know... or if you have suggestions/comments/DMCA takedowns....... ok bye 🍸☮

#i cant reread this anymore so im just posting it. also omg that tiny pensive emoji #mash #m*a*s*h

[unluckyxse7en]

Ok im gonna ramble about my Smile hcs, mostly in regards to where he fits in Sabitsuki’s story.

DISCLAIMER: I have not/cannot(?) play the game, this is based on what I’ve observed watching a few .flow playthroughs, I may be missing or misremembering some details.

(readmore because long and incoherent)

But basically like. You see Smile everywhere in the school world, and then in the house just outside of its borders. Obviously his influence is pervasive. He’s in one classroom each on at least two different floors, and then on the rooftop, but it doesn’t end there, because there’s also the iconography littering the school, the eyes and smiles plastered on the hallway and classroom walls, and whatever those weird things are in that one room with the eyes printed on them.

And in all of these representations, he’s clearly a threatening presence, or at least unnerving. And on top of that, untouchable. You can’t even get to him because he’s barricaded away in the classrooms, and on the rooftop you can’t even take a pipe to him. When other npcs balk at the iron pipe, he lives up to his name and Smiles, pulling out a carpenter’s hammer. He almost literally laughs in the face of danger. You can’t intimidate him.

But there’s a reason for that. He can’t afford to be seen as vulnerable.

When you see him in the house, his demeanor doesn’t change too much. If you hold a weapon he grins at you. But it’s the setting you find him in that changes everything. It’s the small, empty room, the little girl behind him, that adds a whole new layer of interpretation for this guy.

Were they neglected? Orphaned? Was he the only one his sister could rely on? Clearly she could and felt comfortable doing so to some capacity - even when you’re not threatening them, she clings tightly to his back, only peeking from safety occasionally before dipping back behind him. He’s the only one there for her, and despite- or perhaps because- of his life at school, he can’t afford to let anyone get to him. He can’t afford to be beaten down, and makes sure no one does.

Which brings me to the thought process of, how much did Sabitsuki know about this? How much did she understand? She was very obviously closely tied to Smile and his gang in some way beyond being a victim - the tattoo effect points to this, an iron pipe being a good choice of weapon for a gang member, that whole mini-event with gaining the school uniform effect… I could go on, but a lot of the symbology adds up to say that Sabitsuki was just as much a part of Smile’s gang, she may have respected him as much as she feared him. If nothing else, she was clearly quite familiar with him at school and I feel like the effect version of himself on the rooftop commands a sense of awe more than fear.

“But if she sees him and his sister in that house, doesn’t that mean she already knew?”

And maybe she did! But something I’ve seen a few people speculate about that adds an interesting layer to this is, the reason she enters via computer is because she isn’t just dreaming, she’s also researching. Searching for leads, dredging up information on old classmates, all while she tries to work through her memories and trauma… It adds the possibility of, maybe she didn’t know. Or never made the full connection.

Smile’s house is very close to the school world, but also so very detached all at the same time. You go up all these stairs to this abstract building that’s barely even recognizable as a house. There’s nothing about the setting, save the character himself, that really conveys it’s connected to the school at all. Maybe she never really knew and is only learning about this while researching. Or maybe she had been to his house, a bare handful of times, and met his sister, but nothing else ever leapt out. Maybe she didn’t make the connection until years later, sitting alone in her own one-room apartment, that he was essentially fending for himself and his sister. It’s entirely possible she knew this well and understood why at the time, but given how detached it feels, it seems somewhat unlikely.

So tl;dr I feel like Smile as a character has his own interesting subnarrative sprinkled throughout the game, and despite the fear and raw intimidation he clearly stands for and influences/d in Sabitsuki, also has undertones of his own troubled backstory and call me a sucker but that makes him suddenly more sympathetic to me and thus… I had to write an analysis. Ty for coming to my ted talk.

#.flow #.flow smile #dotflow #dot flow #smile #dotflow smile #dot flow smile #analysis #blablablah #yumediary #ynfg

[iambilliejeanok]

hello im sorry if this offends you in a way

i love reading your work but could you add those ":readmore:" thing

so sorry and wish you have a great day

This doesn’t offend me at all. I usually add the read more thing on my computer because idk how to do it on my phone so I usually do that when I’m around my computer 🤎

[ambered-glazed-sheep]

Please do go on about Doomslayer and his morals. I'm legit fascinated by him since starting the let's play I'm watching and I'd love to hear your take on him (I know literally nothing about the Doom franchise other than lots of blood and violence against demons and also badass music)

You know, a year ago when my friends asked me 'hey do you wanna play minecraft' and i said 'yeah sure' i would have never thought i would one day have a minecraft sideblog where i get questions about the personality of the main character of a shooter fps game (of all things!) that is known for its incredible violence.

But here you go:

(prepare yourself this has gotten way longer than i thought oh god, and also it has nothing to do with hermits whatsoever. warnings for language and descriptions of violence? and i assume the readmore won’t be working the way i want it to)

Ok so, Doom!

First of all, i know nothing about the old games, and i’ve only seen a minimal amount of Doom Eternal Letsplays. Most of this is based on Doom (2016). 

Ok so we all start out thinking Doomguy! It’s the guy you play in Doom. The hand that hold the gun YOU are shooting demons with. And sure, you can go trough the whole game with that mindset, but that’s boring and we are overthinking fictional characters in this house.

ID software actually managed to give Doomguy/Doomslayer a TON of personality despite him never saying a word, barely any cutscenes to show what he does when you don’t control him (at least in Doom 2016), and not a lot of other characters to interact with despite enemy monsters.

The game just leaves you little hints and snippets and that’s what makes Doomslayer so exciting to think about. Just the right levels between ‘cryptid half-god who never shows emotion and is a player-insert’ and ‘this dude’s got an AGENDA. he has PLACES TO BE’. You are him as you play, but sometimes he makes decisions on his own. But personally, i could never find myself to disagree.

First, you got the intro sequence. 

You got a unknown voice telling you: 

“They are rage. Brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse. Rip and Tear, until it is done.”

First of all, YO. WOW. HOLY SHIT.

The scene immediately shifts to Doomslayer waking up. He’s naked, he’s chained down somewhere, theresa SHIT TON of scars littering his arms and hands. First thing HE does, on his own behalf, is ripping off the chains by flexing a little (literal iron chains!!!), smashing a zombies head against the sarcophagus he lays in and completely obliterating said head into a bit of blood (mind you, three seconds after he woke up from a thousands of years long coma!! but we only learn that later), and then promptly gets up, picks up a pistol, and now it’s your, the players turn. This takes like 8 seconds in total. This man means BUSINESS. That’s the first thing we learn.

Second thing that strikes me is the interactions with Samuel Hayden. 

Doomslayer is patient when a computer voice tells him the status of the base. He is patient as he looks at the screens to see what is going on. (a demonic invasion, thats what). But then dear Dr. Samuel Hayden calls. 

Dr. Hayden says “Hi, i’m the boss here, i’m sure we can work together in a way that benefits us both uwu”. Doomslayer immediately grabs the PC screen and pushes it aside. His gesture says, i’m done with this. im sick of this dude. this guy is full of shit. And he’s right! And that after barely hearing two sentences from Hayden!

So the second thing we learn is that he has no time for people trying to exploit him. He hears Hayden, he has a gut feeling that this dude is a little fishy, maybe he just plain doesnt like higher ups and heads of facilities. But we learn that he IS. NOT. going to listen to this man, and his body language makes that very clear without being actually violent against the person (he doesnt destroy the Screen either! just pushes it aside very annoyed. He isn’t mindlessly destroying property here.)

This continues. 

Hayden goes ‘hey maybe don’t destroy that energy source!’ in the few seconds you dont control him, Doomslayer listens. He hesitates. He considers. Then he destroys the thing anyways. Hayden keeps telling him to stop, but Doomslayer doesnt listen. He’s got his own mind!

This was mostly about Haydens Company, the UAC, harvesting hell energy, and hurting people in the process. 

There’s a scene where Doomslayer rides an elevator. Hayden, over the comms, tells him that everyone that has died in the demon attack was a nacessary sacrifice that will bring a new future or some shit like that. the camera pans down to show some poor sods corpse at those very words. Doomslayer cracks his knuckles. he is NOT HAPPY about that, so we know he doesnt like it when human lifes are sacrificed. He destroys the communicator, so he doesnt have to listen to Haydens voice telling him lies and trying to sway him anymore. 

(then he takes out his shotgun, the doors open, metal starts playing and the doom logo is shown, but that’s more about making the player feel epic than showing doomslayers personality,,)

Now i would like to talk about VEGA, the AI that controls the mars facility. 

VEGA occasionally talks to us/the Slayer. He is very straightforward, tells us what to do and why to do it, and is generally very polite. In the story, Doomslayer listens to Vega. 

Now why does he listen to VEGA but not Hayden? 

I think it’s because Hayden tries to get him to do things that just benefit him, and Hayden is very manipulative in his words (or tries to be lol), while Vega just says (if you destroy this thing, that door will open. I think Doomslayer appreciates it when people are honest to him.

And in the end, Doomslayer on his own decides to save a backup of VEGA. VEGA didn’t ask him to, Doomslayer did that on his own. It’s not relevant to his mission, he doesnt need VEGA to go to hell to close portals and whatnot. But he does save him. Why? I think it’s because he cares. Because he’s come to like VEGA. Because Vega didn’t try to manipulate him and screw him over. 

Next up is the Slayers Testament. 

These are a bunch of writings/recordings that you find scattered in the hell levels. (i highly recommend listening to them/reading them, they are metal as fuck and give me such an immense feeling of power bc they are talking about me, the doomslayer)

These testaments were written by demons. They were genuinely afraid of the slayer. 

Quote:

Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding, the Doom Slayer sought to end the dominion of the dark realm.

As said, i don’t think these are purely talking about his physical strength. They are talking about his... well, mentality. His Codex. They see him as an unstoppable force. He is incorruptible. Let that sink in. Man walks trough hordes of demons and at no point ever thinks ‘yeah maybe this is a bit much’ or ‘they just keep coming this is pointless’. No. He’s unyielding. (Can you tell how much i love the words in these testaments? It’s just got such a nice ring to it.)

In battle, the Doomslayer is BRUTAL. He tears apart demons, rips their eyes out, all that. He stomps on heads like they’re water balloons and isn’t fazed at all. Nothing stops this man. (except players like me who fall off the map 5 consecutive times, but lets just imagine the doomslayer is actually like he would be if someone played the game perfectly. player skill shouldn’t be considered in my headcanons jahdjhgd) One could even argue he has fun at this, because there are some animations like ripping off a zombies arm and beating the Zombie with it, or feeding a demon it’s own heart.

I feel like that says a lot about his personality as well!

He doesn’t hesitate. He doesn’t doubt himself. He doesn’t question his cause! He fights to get rid of the demons, not just the ones in his way, but every. demon. He will go out of his way to kill more demons. You could either take this as him having fun, or him following his own moral codex to get rid of every demon, or him being a not-quite-human war machine, or wanting to protect humanity from them. 

I would say it’s a healthy mix of all that :D

In older games, there was this whole backstory snippet of him returning to earth, finding that the demons had invaded his planet but also killed his pet rabbit (Daisy), and he then goes onto a 2-game long revenge trip.Take that as you will.

The last thing i would like to mention is this post.

Please watch the video. Doomguy walks trough the rows of random human guards. This is the walk of a man who doesn’t owe them SHIT. Yes, he wants to save humanity. Yes, he cares. But he also knows who he is. He knows what he did, and what he will do. He doesn’t have to justify himself in front of these shady scientists and jerky guards.THEY owe HIM, in fact. This video emits the sheer CONFIDENCE of someone who has walked trough hell multiple times and knows none of these people could even touch him. Yes, he would never kill them. He would not harm humans. But he doesn’t care about making them uncomfortable with his presence, either. He doesnt ask for permission.

(i think by now i am using the exact same words they did in that post. really, its worth the read. i think there’s a lot of repeated things between this post and that post by now but i encourage you to watch that video. its worth it.)

Also, the impact he has on the people in this room! they trip. they walk backwards. they go quiet, stutter. they are intimidated. They know he’s technically here to help and save them, but now, standing in front of them.... just wow. it really puts things into perspective. it tells the player that all the demons that he’s killed, all that the doomslayer has done... its noted. it has an impact. 

I’m not really sure where i’m going with this anymore, but watching those NPCs react to the slayers presence just adds so much more to his character. it tells us how people see him, and boy.... do they see him. 

i think it also ties a lot into how the player is made feel, controlling doomguy. all these head stomping and limp tearing animations, the guns, people being scared, watching doomslayer destroy important equipment from first pirson or pushing open doors or whatever... it just gives me such an immense feeling of power! i can’t even describe it. (...it also has nothing to do anymore with the original question but holy shit did i love playing doom for the sheer atmosphere of it. despite me being horrible at playing.)

(at the end of this i’m realizing that all of this never addressed if doomslayer is happy and content murdering demons, or if he just wants his peace and quiet but can’t help himself every time he sees a demon. i would propose to leave that up to headcanons. mine is a mix of both but in a way that makes it not angsty. like he loves to have his calm moments, but is just as happy to rip some demon’s spine out. probably gets a little itchy and impatient if he hasn’t fought in a while.)

also if you’re interested in game design and way more professional people talking about why doom 2016 is great i reccomend this documentary

...anyways it’s past 1am and this has gotten way out of hand but

tl;dr: the doomslayer is metal as fuck, he has a lot of agenda he is following, and i love him so much

#amber talks #doom #where do i even begin with this? #i wanted to answer this in the morning but that was over an hour ago now #jdakjsdhasdjh i can't help myself theres so much to say about doom!!!! #you asked for this anon #it's just so... *clenches fist* #i forgot of course that the music is pretty much the best thing ever and i've been listening to it SO MUCH while writing litve #everything about this game is designed to make you feel powerful and HOLY SHIT is it working #id software did a great job #i watched a whole documentary on this it was great #...yeah i study 3d stuff this is pretty much in m #my field haha #i've just had all these feelings in me for months and now that someone showed the slightest hint of interest it's all coming out #sorry its so unorganized i tried to at least take one point after the other #now to write another essay on why the slayer and the mandalorian are very alike in some parts but mando is so much softer #(its because slayer has been trough hell and back while mando still has hope in the world) #(i mean mando is a jaded and tough bounty hunter but all that he is doomslayer is cranked up to eleven) #(shush now i said in another essay! go to bed) #(....its not gonna be an essay its gonna be a fanfic and its gonna be great) #(mando is such a softie......) #*pushes my mando/slayer agenda on my side blog as well* ah i see #long post #...very long post #hey i've hit 2k words with this! #....i've written litve chapters that are shorter #EDIT: WAIT FUCK I THINK I MIXED UP THE SECURITY GUARDS LINES WITH A FIC I READ ONCE #or did i gave EX that line in the last ask i answered???? #i'm??? im gonna go to sleep lol

[core-crystal]

Ok so as a baby adult in the making, i need help and you are very approachable. How do i put together a good resume. Also in terms what are some things i really need to know. So far im doing way more research into how im supposed to apply for jobs and health insurance/ how to file taxes then I really assumed I would. Im not very financially independent and cant really afford collage, or to live on my own for that matter. How do i do adult things, im floundering and just panicking.

So for resumes, it’s best to keep a living resume as you work. I think you mentioned the other day that you haven’t really worked before/don’t have past job experience, I think what I included for mine at that point was an education section listing where I was currently going to school and what my running GPA was at the time. In another section  any programs I was in (I was in JROTC, marching band, and national honors society at the time), and then a section for my current skills. I’m a little bad at like... explaining resume advice but these links are pretty accurate in explaining and giving decent examples for when you don’t have a lot of present experience!

The thing about resumes is that you want to have, as I said before, a living document keeping track of your qualifications as they come and go. When you get a job, pull up your resume document and mark down the job title, employer, and date, as well as at minimum a brief description of what you do and your direct supervisor’s name. (I’d also recommend keeping a note of that supervisor’s contact information--when you apply to a new job later, sometimes they’ll want to be able to call your past employers to see what you’re about) When you leave that job, add the date you left. Do this for EVERY job. Also do this for any volunteer experiences you may take part in. Make sure you have at least two backups of this living doc up to date and saved in different locations at all times. You’ll thank me later. 

When you go to apply to a new job, don’t just print off your living resume doc. Open a brand new document, maybe pick a nice resume style off the word templates (if it looks fun, I’d advise against it--in general, you want a neat, sleek-looking design), have your living resume doc open in the background, and transcribe the relevant information over and rewrite your objective statement to suit the new position. For the time being until you get more experience, you’ll want to include all your work experience, but later down the line, your position at the ice cream shop won’t look that impressive among other jobs, so you’ll have to choose to leave it off then. You should NOT keep a physical copy of your resume on hand, because each resume should be different depending on the job. 

For actually applying, check online to see if the place you’re applying to has online applications! If they do, do it there. If they don’t, put on something nice but not too nice, walk in to the location, and ask whether they’re hiring/if you can get a job application. Often they’ll tell you if there’s some special circumstances like, oh you should bring this back to this specific place in the store, but usually, it’s enough to hand it in to a cashier and they’ll know who to bring it to!

Before you get a job interview, practice confident body language and a confident tone. Things like making sure you have a good posture, sitting with your hands folded a certain way, making eye contact even though it sucks and makes you wanna die, etc.. I can’t find the post, but askamanager has helpful resources to actually find and land a job!

I try to craft a solid worksona for job interviews. Basically, you find a balance between the kind of worker they’re looking to hire (for a cashier job: friendly, can hold a conversation, maybe a bit traditional) and still showing that you have, like, an actual personality. And make sure you prepare for the job interview. Askamanager has an article on that, too. It’ll help, trust me.

I don’t know much about health insurance, so I can’t in good conscience advise you there! But taxes are fairly easy, if a little anxiety-inducing. Use a program like turbotax, but do NOT pay for it. The free version works perfectly fine for filing taxes. If something you do, like working or going to school, affects your tax filing, they will almost always send you a tax form with all of the information you’ll need. If you’re not sent a tax form for something, it’s safe to assume that you don’t need to file taxes on it (in my experience). Keep track of any educational spending or major life changes throughout the year anyway. For example, I have to buy textbooks for school. I have to keep track of, and report, how much I spend on those textbooks on my taxes, otherwise I might miss out on a tax break for them. If you get a scholarship for college, write it down. Your college will give you a form that has that information, but write it down anyway. Keep it in a notebook or spreadsheet on a secure computer or using a cloud service like OneDrive. For the most part, though, doing taxes with TurboTax is as simple as reading the form you were given and putting information in boxes.

The company that owns TurboTax also has a program called Mint! It allows you to link your bank accounts and lets you easily budget, track your spending, and even allows you free checks of your credit score that won’t negatively impact your score. I get an update once a month on my credit score and what factors are impacting it how.

Speaking of, once you’re old enough, you’re going to want to start building your credit. What I recommend doing is taking out a credit card, only using it for a specific thing, and then paying it right away. For example, when you have a car, using your credit card to buy gas and then immediately paying that gas purchase off. This will let you build up credit so that later, you can take out loans with lower interest rates and are more likely to be approved for loans.

This is getting a bit long-winded, so I’m going to say one more thing and then call the post for the time being! I think it’s really important to remember that most people don’t know what they’re doing either. I mean it. I helped at least two of my friends’ parents do their taxes this year. Everyone’s just kind of muddling through all this big important adult stuff and pretending they know what they’re doing, but it’s okay to google things you don’t know the answer to, ask questions, and be confused. In some cases, it’s deliberately confusing. Fake it ‘till you make it and kick some ass. I know you can.

#answered asks #aviel-the-trans-bucket

[alwaysxyou]

Hi, i was wondering if you could help me. I'm new and shit when it comes to anything even kinda technologic or informatic, sooo how do i put a link in my bio where i present myself a little bit ? Idk if i'm clear but i saw you had one so i thougt i might ask ? Anyway, have a lovely day xx

of course angel!! also im sorry to everyone in advance cause this is long and I’m on mobile and can’t add a readmore and am not getting out of bed to get my computer

so the way I know how to do it, you need to use a desktop site. if you don’t have access to a computer you can request a desktop site on mobile, I’m using the google chrome app to show you.

once you log into tumblr, click on the little man up top that brings you to your settings and things that looks like this (well hopefully your blog not mine) (pls don’t hack me)

if you click edit appearance, you’ll be able to edit your colors of this header/words and it’ll give you the option to edit your description. But to add a link, click on edit theme.

that will bring you to the theme page with a sidebar. the top of the sidebar will have the appearance options box:

and under the description is where you’ll add your coded link.

For your link add in the link, the what you want it to say, add what you want to show up on your page.

Once you’ve popped that in, make sure you save!!

Now if you need to make an about page! On the theme sidebar scroll to the bottom until you see this add a page option

click that and it’ll bring you here

you can type in what you want the link to be (mine is just /about but you do you anon!!) and then you’ll make the page in the text box part. When you’re done, hit save and you’ll be see it added to where mine is. if you need to edit in the future, you’ll go back through this same way and edit through this page.

AND THEN SAVE EVERYTHING MAKE SURE YOU SAVE

I hope that helps love!!! I do apologize if this was like,,too broken out and explained, I wasn’t sure how much you needed explained and wanted to make sure you had all the parts if you needed it! Let me know if you need any help!!!

#also sorry this took me so long i was about to post and then got distracted petting our cat and tumblr quit and i had to retype it all #also if this still isnt helpful cause ik im shit at explaining i can see about doing a screen recording or something #lemme know!! #long post #asks #anon

[beaten-upfox]

ii had a post about that almost 30yo person who mocked “shitty vent” artists, pilling up vent comics with cringe-culture (as thats still a thing by now) and guilt-tripping others intentionally and i wanted to add my two cents on it since it targeted me(? not specifically, just “people like me”) but my computer force restarted on me so i lost everything coherent i wrote in it; so here’s some things i wrote in using just a few broad sentences

-they said it themselves that that post wasnt supposed to be so popular, ironically, “criticizing” something so specific, and kinda popular, is going to easily get traction

-giving the benefit of the doubt and assuming they criticized JUST the people who do it to publicly to vague someone and guilt trip them when they see the post; not only that that petty attitude existed way before vent comics existed, it can also be easily ignored. 

Person doesnt know u and vagues about u to seem like a victim? they dont know u, just ignore them, theyre doing just that, playing the victim. You don’t need other strangers opinions of you. Theyre strangers.

Person is a good bud/friend of yours? Ask them about it, no relationship is worth feeling like youre hurting someone you care for, if youre truly certain theyre talking about you, they probably just dont trust you as much as you’d like. Comfort them and reassure them that you want them to be open to you and they shouldnt be afraid when theyre upset

but they werent referring to that, they specifically targeted “shitty vent furries”. This happens with any fad that gains traction. They included it into cringe culture, because its not something high effort, its something (not always!) that is just feeling, intensity, scribbles; theyre just like “lol look at these weirdos theyre trying so hard to be relatable! lol its unhealthy to be this way! I pretend im caring when i really dont give a crap! I have a superiority complex lol! im a good person!” This “type” of art, of just blunt feelings or imagery is used in therapy to help the patient more often than not. And if people don’t hurt themselves or others, it’s really completely not harmful.  And guess what! There are a lot of kids! That draw stuff like this, trying to figure out their emotions. Their art might not be the best or not even make any sense. Maybe to you it feels like super mundane, but for them it feels really really bad. There are a lot of mentally ill people, kids, adults!, using it as just, like i do, a way to express the “obsessive thoughts”. In the end its not the artist’s responsibility to take care of the “kids” on the internet. (aside of tagging things appropriately, it’s not their fault some just look up for this stuff? they dont want to feel alone, even if it can be toxic, but really we werent talking about this were we?)

Why did you feel the need to just categorize something into cringe culture when its something that has traction to teens and the mentally ill?  (just my complete personal experience with this type of art under the readmore feel free to ignore)

in my personal experience, vent art has helped me stop so many of my worse coping mechanisms, self harm, usage of (unprescribed) drugs, smoking, drinking, not eating, just to name a few. Sure some of i still do, like smoking, not eating (unintentionally!) but ive gotten better

I’m trying to remain anonymous, i try to only talk about myself, and my experiences, i want people to know theyre not alone, but what happens with me does not mean it happens with everyone, so please dont say that im talking about everyone else’s experience ever, because im not. I’m talking about how fishy I think it is about someone talking about a petty act and targeting it towards people who most of the time use it as a coping mechanism. Dont assume the worst in people, but dont assume the best intent either.

of course it took more than just a few scribbles on a computer screen or paper, more initiative, like proper sleep and diets, people helping me. But for a huge portion of my life i didnt have anyone to help me, art has helped me get started into getting better. I wasnt shunned when i just scribbled things on paper, drew blood (as in painting not.. yknow), seeing people freely expressing themselves, no matter their skill, helped me know im not actually as alone as i thought.

I am very sleepy, this is completely out of the ordinary, but i want you to know, you who are reading this right now, when uve gotten so far into my blabberings, thank you for looking, or even listening. You don’t have to agree with me but it is what it is. People are different, and have different experiences. All im saying is that, it feels youre out of control, and when people just insult something, even if you may consider it cringey, theyre insulting a person, and youre just calling their emotions cringe. Imagine that. People are not exempt from criticism. Any type of art isnt exempt from it. But this type of “Criticism” is very specific and its really unnecessary/vague. Irony!

#beatenupfoxdiary #woooow #long post #im so sorry #self harm mention #drug mention #alcohol mention #yeah i was bothered #because people were being horrible in the notes #not only people agreeing with op #but people not agreeing with op #dont do that #i tried to like look at it from op point of view and from others' #but ofc i reached my own conclusion which was myself assuming something #but thats why it rubbed me the wrong way #discourse? not really #just another page to my diary

[nettlewildfairy]

rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

putting this under a readmore bc it’s long

coke or pepsi: coke

disney or dreamworks: dreamworks

coffee or tea: tea

books or movies: both

windows or mac: mac but all my shit is malfunctioning right now so im a bit bitter about it

dc or marvel: not super a fan of what marvel has been doing latley but i prefer their tv shows rn. so like marvel tv but dc comics and also the lego movie was great

x-box or playstation: ive never had either

dragon age or mass effect:  never played either but i usually go for fantasy over sci fi in general

night owl or early riser: night owl

cards or chess: cards

chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

vans or converse:  vans

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: ???

fluff or angst: fluff

beach or forest: both

dogs or cats: im allergic to dogs but i like both very much

clear skies or rain: rain when im inside, clear skies when im ouside

cooking or eating out: eating out when i can

spicy food or mild food:  i like vibrantly flavorful sour foods, like that vinegar lime flavor is my life and thats not really spicy or mild soooo

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: halloween

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: too cold, I sweat too much so fuck too hot

if you could have a superpower, what would it be: power mimicry my dudes

animation or live action: animation

paragon or renegade: what

baths or showers: showers

team cap or team ironman: cap just bc punching nazis but I haven’t seen civil war and don’t care to

fantasy or sci-fi: fantasy (i was the fantasy representative for the sci-fi and fantasy society at my university)

do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they:          “oh life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporania and love is a thing that can never go wrong And I am Marie of Romania” - Dorothy Parker

harry potter or percy jackson: my fave book by riordan is the magnus chase series. harry potter was good at the time tho. both are ok. 

when you feel accomplished: after completing a task

star wars or star trek:  i dont really like either

paperback books or hardback books: paperback hardback books are heavy and hurt my wimpy little hands

horror or rom-com: no

tv shows or movies: tv shows

favorite animal: pangolin and most geckos

favorite genre of music: i dont rlly have on? indie?

least favorite book: ?

favourite season: fall

sparkly or shiny: sparkly

favorite character in a tv series: wirt in over the garden wall

do you have/want any tattoos and if you do, what are they: i want a tattoo of an eye on the back of my hand but i dont have any tattoos yet. 

youtube or netflix: youtube

If you could go to school for completely free what would you study?: animation, illustration, art, mythology and folklore, and computer science

what’s your aesthetic?: either fairy tale goth or gay wizard

My question: what fictional character is the most like you?

I tag: whoever wants to do this