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#wich is really only a thing that held me back from achieving things
so-you-melted-22 · 3 years
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i might just teach myself how to sew, just so i can sew my own damn star trek uniform!
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cinnamononions · 3 years
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Oh boy has this been a long time coming. I've wanted to do a whole rant of why the Masked Man is the most unsettling Pokemon villain to me for so long. He disturbs me so much that he almost makes me want to throw up - and I'm an adult.
/spoilers for Gold/Silver/Crystal arc of Pokespe and cw for child abuse, child slavery, all the fun things.
WHERE CAN I EVEN START? Maybe from his habit of manipulating people! I'd dare to even claim he enjoys it. That he enjoys having power over others. After all, there's so many instances of him controlling people: he had a Ghastly possess a passerby to guard Ilex forest, he held a little girl hostage to get her grandfather to obey him, the brainwashed Team Rocket grunts, his Masked Children project, I'd dare to say even capturing Ho-oh and Lugia counts. Heck, his whole motivation is to control time.
Pryce has done a lot of awful things, starting from almost destroying Johto. He has hurt countless people and even attempted to kill some. Yet he never provided a reason better than a childhood sobstory, wich to me makes him even more irredeemable. I saw it as simply an excuse for cruelty.
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The biggest one of all the atrocities he has committed is, of course, the "Masked Children". In FRLG it's even hinted he researched his victims before hand to choose those fit the best for his purposes, wich probably counts as stalking in some way. FRLG also hints he had security cameras in the childrens rooms, so make what you will of that. He clearly abused them in multiple ways, and that likely includes physicaly. (He has stepped on Wills back and Silvers arm with notable pressure). They likely were even taught torture is a fit punishment for failure, as we see Sham and Carl watching Pryce freeze grunts slowly. As a result of all that the children are traumatized for life. Actualy, it's never even clarified if the oldest two survived past GSC.
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His plans in no way demanded kidnapping and raising child slaves, yet he chose to do it. He chose make the most detailed plans to gain loyal servants, he chose to even build a prison like facility for this sole purpose.
Pryce was also shameless and very skilled with manipulating people. Even Gold admits "that creep really knows how to push my buttons". It's how he kept the children in control. The way he talks to his slave children, and the things they say likely parroting him? A lot of it goes to classics of abusive relationships. "You won't be of any good without me, you will be better if you obey me" mindset. He even managed to convince a 7yo and a 10yo that they followed AN ADULT out of their own choise, making them never realize they were kidnapped. You can see with how Silver is spoken to that Pryce will treat the children like dirt, unless they do something that impresses him. In that case they shall be "praised" in form of a reminder that they are owned by him and all their achievments are thanks to him, no matter how far they go in life. It's incredibly disturbing. He clearly in no way regrets manipulating and abusing children to reach his own goals. I honestly even get some very unsettling implications from his behavior, even if unintentional.
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All of this makes him beyond irredeemable. It's baffling he got a redemption, it's baffling that they tried to make him symphathetic already in FRLG. As, only the Chuan Yi translation has him not expressing loneliness over Greens and Silvers escape, instead offering a much more in character choise of words:
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So in short: Pryce is a shameless child abuser and manipulator who should have stayed in the time stream for all eternity.
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sea-side-scribbles · 3 years
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Fanfiction: Sympathy For A Downer
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737214/chapters/70230384
Chapter 45
Sometimes Morrie couldn't believe the deal he had agreed to. That Norbert could have everonye he wanted, only with a small exception. On the other hand, it was easing the tension in their everyday life, especially with the many 'guests' they had. He didn't have to keep an eye on Norbert anymore, who just did what he wanted and instead he could make time for his own fans, or some musicians from other bands and he could finally be completely distracted.
However, it was far away from the feeling he could have had if Norbert would have been his alone, if he could've trusted him in every situation. Sometimes, he caught himself wishing that Norbert refused the deal and instead never touched a fan again. But Morrie knew it wouldn't happen. He kept himself from asking what Norbert was doing with his new freedom. A deal was a deal, and he wanted to be true to his word.
Norbert's behaviour was irrational enough already. His Joy-escapades became wilder and he started to forget the most mundane things. Morrie felt more and more like a babysitter who was making sure that the great rockstar got out of bed in time, ate enough, remembered their gigs and whatnot. Soon, he couldn't make it through the day without someone taking care of him. And with everyone taking Joy now, Morrie was afraid he would end up being the babysitter for the entire band.
There was one last chance. One person he considered to be reasonable, even though his trust into that person was crumbling already. He didn't know better, Morrie told himself. The whole town is crazy about this stuff, so how could he know?
When the manager was working in his room, Morrie took the opportunity to ask him for help. Virgil let him in without hesitation. "Hello, Morrie. Is there a problem?" "I think so", Morrie answered, asking himself why Virgil didn't notice it himself. Didn't it bother him at all? On the other hand, he wasn't involved in all this as much as Morrie was, so someone needed to tell him what was going on.
Morrie sat down on the chair that Virgil offered him and began to explain: "It's that Joy...I know it's supposed to help, and, well, Nick doesn't have stage fright anymore, but it's changing him. He's more than just happy, no matter what the ads say. He's...a completely different person now. He's...." Morrie fell quiet. He wanted to say 'reckless', 'smug' and 'oblivious', but he was afraid to indicate that they had a relationship. "...binged up?", Virgil offered. "More than that..." Morrie sighed. "Sometimes I don't recognize him." "He's changed, that's true", Virgil agreed and Morrie felt a flicker of hope.
"I always had the feeling that he was holding back somehow. That he couldn't be the man he wanted to be and he was unhappy because of that." Morrie gulped. "Did you talk about it?" "No, I only guessed", Virgil said and Morrie began to feel uneasy. What else did Virgil observe in all these years? "What if that was just how Nick was?" "I think he wouldn' t have changed that much. Whatever depressed him, it's gone now. He's free." Morrie furrowed his brows. "Do you like him like this?" Virgil nodded. "Much better. Better than watching him struggle and knowing he'll have another breakdown." "But that stuff is addictive! He can't live a single day without it!", Morrie blurted out. "It's proven that Joy isn't addictive", Virgil assured him, but Morrie wasn't convinced. "What if that's wrong? I don't like where this is going. The others take Joy now too. I'm the only one who's still sane. I'm surrounded by freaks who don't know what they're doing!" Morrie paused to take a breath. He hadn't planned to throw a tantrum but that whole situation was all exasperating. Why did no one believe him?
"Morrie...", Virgil said after he had been pondering. "Could it be that you are unhappy too?" At that, Morrie had to keep himself from passing a snappy comment. Of course he was unhappy. But then again he had the feeling that his current rage wasn't what Virgil meant. "What do you mean?", he asked instead. "Well, perhaps you have other plans." Of course, Morrie thought, I had other plans than having a boyfriend who keeps betraying me and turns into a big baby right before my eyes with me unable to help. But once again, that was probably not what Virgil meant. Because Morrie didn't get it, Virgil went on: "Perhaps a rockband isn't what satisfies you." Morrie's heart skipped a beat. "You mean, I should..." "Don't rush it. Just think about it. You could start a solo career and I could help you."
Morrie's head was spinning. He had thought about realizing his own projects. Maybe writing a symphony. But until now, it had been nothing but daydreams. Being confronted with it like that was something else. He didn't want to leave the band. He didn't want to abandon Norbert. And he didn't feel alien in a rockband as long as everyone had their heads on straight. "Think about it. You wouldn't have to start with nothing. I'm your manager after all." He gave him an encouraging smile. "And...the Joy? Is there no other solution?", he tried again and Virgil held up his hands. "I don't know a better solution. Do you?" "I see...", Morrie said quietly and got up. "Thank you for the offer", he said half-heartedly. "Forget it if you want, but try to think about yourself for a change. Not only Nick." Morrie only nodded and then left.
If only it was that easy. 'Nick' wasn't able to think about himself anymore - at least not about what was good for him. Leaving the band was no option. Thinking about their conversation, one thing really bothered him. Had Norbert really been so unhappy with him that he fell into a depression and started taking Joy? Before Joy, Norbert hadn't betrayed him. Had it depressed him that much, that he wasn't allowed to betray him, that he went to pieces? What about all his talking of 'the love of his life'? Anyway, with the new 'free Nick' being the only one he had left, Morrie was afraid he was facing a very doubtful future.
Even Norbert noticed that the vibes around him changed. Every time the jolly effect ceased, he realized what was happening and he once again faced the abyss that was about to swallow him. It hurt to see the way Morrie looked at him. But considering everything his lover did for him, because his brain refused to work properly, he understood that Morrie had enough of him. He remembered the agreement that had saved their relationship and found that Morrie was rather gloomy since then. Norbert couldn't hold back when he was on Joy, and everytime he recalled what he was doing he felt ashamed. Other times he was angry that Morrie made him feel that way, because he felt he had the right to enjoy the fame he had been working hard to achieve.
Either way, he noticed that Morrie went colder. That he started to mock his new habits and his behaviour while he was too high to understand his remarks. His tenderness was gone. And he was more busy now, staying in his room for hours and writing songs he never played to anyone. Perhaps it was just his way to handle their situation. Still, it was one of the reasons why Norbert couldn't handle his life without Joy. Sometimes he was so afraid to wake up that he popped another pill after the first sign of withdrawal - duller colors, muffled sounds. When he tried to hang on until their next gig he anyway gave up after a few hours, because it was horrible to pretend that everything was okay and he didn't need Joy that much.
But not only Morrie bothered him. There were more quarrels in the band now. It couldn't be denied that Nick Lightbearer was turning into the band's most popular star and when the others started taking Joy, they tried to change that. So Norbert was subject to a sudden rivalry that began to dominate their everyday life. They fought for a bigger part in their shows, about who wrote wich song and who wrote the most hits and who had the best ideas for new songs. Norbert had the feeling they didn't grant him a single note anymore. They had always worked as a team. It was ridiculous to dismantle their songs like that. It made the already tedious sessions in the studio even more exhausting. Also on stage they kept fighting against each other.
Norbert was glad that their house was big enough so that he could avoid the others. It was one of these painful days when he sat alone in his room, because Morrie played busy again, and tried to endure Joy withdrawal. It was eerie to feel how everything around him changed, how also his thinking changed. He started to mourn for his love and his friendships and whished someone would stop their fall. After some dreadful moments of staring at his once colorful wall he was even too sad to take Joy. Suddenly it all felt right. He didn't move, only listened to his own breathing. Then he felt more and more helpless, as if his dark room would swallow him. Leaving it, he noticed that the corridor outside was just as dark. 'That architect screwed us over', he joked bitterly. He thought about the only friend he had left, the only one who wouldn't make fun of him or rebuke him. He needed his company now.
Virgil looked worried when he saw him. "Nick, what's wrong?" He must've looked horrible of course. "Can I come in?" All he wanted was to get in this room and lock the door behind him. Virgil approved, and so he let himself fall into one of his comfy chairs and decided to never stand up again. Then he stared at the floor, unable to speak. "You're off your Joy again, aren't you? Don't worry, I've made provisions. You'll feel better in no time," Virgil said and opened a drawer. Suddenly Norbert moved. "Oh, no, I have enough Joy." Virgil froze. "Did it stop working?" "No, no, it works just fine. Just like the first day", Norbert said gloomily. Virgil bent down to look at him, leaning on the armrests of the chair. "Nick, look at me." Norbert obeyed. Virgil also put a hand on his forehead.
"Are you in pain?" "No, I don't think so", Norbert answered vaguely. He guessed a heartache didn't count. "Can't I just stay here for a while? I won't disturb you if you're working." Virgil put his hand down. "Nicky, what's wrong? You can tell me everything, you know? Did you have another fight?" Norbert gave a deep sigh. "Everything is so complicated now...when I'm off Joy, I can see it...we're changing..." Virgil sat down next to him. "You're still learning", Virgil answered, "all this fame is new to you and you're just getting used to it." "It's not the band, it's...", Norbert began, then his eyes filled with tears. "It's about Morrie, he...", Norbert sobbed, then he fell quiet again. "He doesn't want to change with you?", Virgil guessed. Norbert hesitated to answer, struggling with himself, until he looked at his manager with wide eyes. "Can I tell you a secret?" Virgil locked gazes with him. "You can trust me. Whatever it is, it'll be just between us." Norbert smiled gratefully. It was the first smile off Joy for days.
Quietly, he said: "Morrie and I...we are in love...I mean, I don't know if he still loves me. Since I'm taking Joy, everything falls apart." Norbert paused because a crying fit choked him. "Whatever I do...it's wrong!", he went on sobbing. "I'm so afraid, Virgil! I don't want to lose him!" When he looked at Virgil, he saw no signs of disgust or taunt in his eyes. "I've noticed that you two are very close...", he only said. Norbert gulped. "I hope we are." "So, he doesn't like Joy, right?" "Yeah, he hates it! But it's his fault I'm even taking it!", he blurted out. "He never understood me! It's always been him or the band, I've tried to please all of them and he always left me alone with my problems! I just didn't know what to do anymore! I'm just not good enough! At least Joy helps me to forget it all, so I can play our shows!" When Norbert was shaken by another fit, his manager began to pat his back. It felt good. "Oh, Virgil, what am I to do?" "Start with being honest, Nick. Tell him what happened and what you feel. Only then, Morrie can understand you. And only then, you can find a solution." Norbert sobbed quietly, feeling Virgil's touch on him. He found it had been a good idea to come here.
"Actually, we have an agreement...", he went on. "No other men. But..." He ruffled his hair. "What if I fuck that up too? Most of the time I have no control over what I'm doing! I'm so afraid! When I fuck that up it's over! There's no second chance!" Another stream of tears choked him and Virgil's hand drew circles on his back, a soothing feeling. "Trust yourself, Nick. You're much stronger than you think." Norbert shook his head. "I do everything wrong." "No, that's not true...still, you should tell Morrie about your fear." "And what if I put him off? Because I don't know if I'll betray him or not? What if he breaks up because of that?", Norbert cried. "I can't lose him!" "Well..." Virgil sighed. "I'm sorry, but you have to leave that decision to him." Norbert uttered a wailing noise and huddled up. Virgil's hand was still there. "Nick...I'm sorry...Trust me that whatever happens, I'm still here to help you." "Oh, Virgil", Norbert sighed and pulled his manager into a hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Virgil engaged with the hug, patting Norbert's back. "It's gonna be okay, Nick..." When Norbert let go, he was calmer. "You can stay here, if you like. Can I offer you a drink?" Norbert nodded and gave another faint smile.
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yennefer-stark · 3 years
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The time was night, the date was wednesday and it was cold and dark because the winter is approached. The lamps in the street gave to the road a dim-lit light as well as the sidewalk. She walked directly to the bridge, and no, she doesnt wanted to commit suicide, she just wanted to be alone, sang out her sadness in the night.
"Everyone got their soulmate... Tony got Pepper, Thor has Jane, Clint already had a family and two kid, Natasha and Bruce are a couple... Hell even Steve with Bucky"
She thought that and started to sing:
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel my heart? 
Can you feel my heart?
Can you feel my heart?
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
Can you feel my heart?
Can you feel...?
Her beautyful voice slowly closed, a knot grew in her throat as she started to sob, then cry. She felt nothing but darkness and being alone, while she was the heart of her team. The fact and happy memories didnt helped. But remembered when Steve laughed in the joke, remembered when Tony gave her a compliment about her progress, the training in the gym with Nat, sometimes with Bucky or Steve, even the archery competition with Clint. Her brain closed out those memories and forced her to not let inside. On the other hand... a tall, slim figure watched her. He has got long black hair, a pair of mesmerizing emerald green eyes, sharp features wich was particularly attractive, pale skin and mysterious aura. He hid in the shadow, just like he did in his childhood. He understood her pain, what's more, he felt the same. Being lonlely and left behind. To be honest, the girl would gave everything for a hug and being in a comfy place... Between someone's arm.
-Yes. I can feel it. Why are you here in those times? It's dark, dangerous and you dont know how many serial killer around you. You should go home.
-I dont think that two killer would've such a good talk like us.
Said the girl without looking back. She wasnt scared, she was still sad. The man, however was suprised from the answer.
-In fact, I'd be happy if you'd kill me right here.
-Why would I? I mean I'm not going to kill you.
-Then why are you here? Why dont you leave me alone? You know what? You're right... I'm going home and put on my "nothing happened me, i'm perfectly fine" mask.
Then without a single word, she vanished from the bridge back to the Avengers Tower, where ofc everyone was happy. Well, almost. While our girl was in her room, deep in her thoughts, the black haired man stormed through rooms, used the elevator until he found his brother. He knocked on the door, with a bit of nervousness. Soon, a tall, muscular, bearded blonde man opened the door. His face immediately light up btw. He loved his not so little brother.
-Where you've been Loki?
-None of your business brother.
-Then why are you energised? You always nap and brood in silence. Something has changed I can tell.
-Whatever. How can someone make a sad person happy?
-Someone wants make you happy, or you are the one who doesnt want to commit a crime?
-This time, the second one brother.
Loki quckly arranged his face before Thor could've figured out what caused the change in him. He really hoped that the girl told the truth to him, but doesnt thought that she's inside the Tower like he or everyone.
-Well... Kind words helps most of the time.
-Geez, she wanted to die, by my hands. BY MY HANDS! Shes even more depressed than me brother.
-How she looked out?
-Well, she was at my chest height, or at least i think, she sat on the ground, and i'm not a cat, I cant see in the dark... Btw she had dark hair, maybe brown or black, waist lenght, straight. Her voice was.... Truly beautyful, even when it broke and started to cry.
-Hmm... Looks like you met with Valr. Oh brother, if you really want to know her better, it might be a big bite for you. She only talks when someone ask something from her, and I've never seen or heard her laughing. Most of the time she is in the library, gym or in her room when she isnt on a mission, out here with us. But to be honest, it could be anyone. I wish you good luck, if you really saw Valr... She's a worthy warrior.
-One more question before Ieave. Does she used to attend at dinner?
Thor nodded as an answer for the question, then closed the door after Loki, who teleported to the library. He found it empity tho. But at the other hand, Valr successfully picked herself up from the floor and walked to the common kitchen. She sighed in relief, she was alone, but not for a long time. As the time passed, the table was ready for the dinner. A whole set of plates, forks and knifes with table napkins. As the clock hit 7:30pm, the rest of the team slowly started to attend here and fill the room with energy and happines... The first, and most hungriest person was Bucky, then Steve, after them Natasha and Bruce. Thor followed them with Loki who seemed distant from the others. Clint arrived before the two god. As usual, Tony didnt showed up.
-Ah, Lady Valr, take a seat and eath with us.
-Thanks Thor, but I'm not hungry. I already ate and now I'm full.
-At least, stay with us and drink Val'.
-This cant cause any problem I guess.
The god of mischief immediately looked at Valr from the corner of his eye, when she lied to Thor without batting an eye. He already liked her, and planned to give her leftover food. Somehow he felt what the girl felt. The hardness of keeping the mask on... He greeted as an old friend. Sadness, even depression? Those kind of feelings too, but he played along with Valr. After they finished the dinner Steve stayed in the kitchen with Bucky to do the dishes and everyone went to their room. Except Loki, who kept an eye on her and sneaked up some food for her. He knocked on the door.
-Yes? It's open.
-Thank god it's open, I brought food for you Lady Valr.
-Why? I said I'm not hungry.
But Loki just smirked under his nonexistent mustache and placed the plate on the table. He found her reaction rather funny...
-Honey, you can not lie to the god of mischief.
-Great. Thanks for the food, you can go away and leave me alone. I dont need anyone in my life.
-Really? Then why are you scared to get close and hate being alone?
-I said, you can go away and leave me alone. Are you deaf or what?
-Slow down Lady Valr, there isnt such a reason to behave so mean, but as you wish. I leave you alone now, but I'll keep an eye on you.
-This is what I missed... I dont need baby sitting.
-Have a goodnight, Lady Valr.
If she could have a good night, she'd have a dream, but the next day's morning she went on a mission with Bucky. So she woke up at 5am, streched a bit, then had her regular morning routine before grabbed the suitcase and went to the kitchen, where Bucky waited for her. The smell of coffe enchanted a smile to her lips. The man with the metal hand greeted with a nod, and offered her a cup of coffe. Luckily he knew how Valr likes the caffeined black-ish liquid.
-I cant believe you are in this mission, I know how much do you hate Russia.
-Yes, but you cant dance with Nat, and noone else can speak fluent russian beside me. Do you have that magic tho?
-Poof. It will last while we're close to each other. Maybe one mile... I didnt need to use this spell until then.
-Wow. You amaze me every time Valr.
-Now let's go, I'm sure Tony already booked a flight to Moscow...
They boarded the plane and sat in silence after they talked through the plan. Bucky, who could never escape fully from the past, started to analyze Valr, but it was hard, even for him.
-З-здравствуйте...меня зовут...Valr...
-The hell did you just said?
Bucky never heard Valr talking in Russian so perfectly. She said those words without any accent, and he almost answered in the same language.
-Just one of thies things I can say in Russian.
-Well, it was perfect, but let me talk in Russian. Not because I love it, but 70 years experience from missions is still experience... Oh god, I already miss him...
-If you show feelings towards him, we might be caught. Steve still wanted for the underground, secret organizations in Russia. I know, you're gay for him and he's bi, but we need to play that we're a couple.
As the days passed by, Valr and Bucky grew closer to each other, talked about how they got captured/kidnapped and used to achieve bad goals. Not that fact they were so distant from each other, but they were the two person out of the Avengers... who were the quietest. As the day approached, they practiced a little dancing. You need know that the thing they search for, can be found in a Ball, wich held and organised secretly by Hydra. Extremely evil, right? But they had allies in the shadows and under the sun... When the day has arrived, you could cut the nervousness in the air with butterknife. Now, Valr understood why Bucky doesnt like to take a walk at daytime, unless he did it with Steve, his safe-place.
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Untitled "little" story
Part one
I hope you liked it if you tripped over it...
@winterbuckytho @itsbuckyb1tch @i-smell-penniess
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The Push
Sometimes all people need is a push.
Humans can do great things.
They like challenge and achieve things that could be impossible for every other race, the only problem that such intelligence brings is the constant need to doubt on themselves. So, some of them need a little push for their confidence, but when do you know its alright to give that push?
This Story will teach you.
My friend was always a bit shy, she grew up like this, so it wasn't a big Suprise for me that I needed to push her confidence a bit here and there.
So, she was happy, you saw it on her face, the way she smiled and how her eyes shone in the light. Her hair was kissed by the autumn leaves and her eyes shone like the silent sea itself. She wasn't skinny, not at all, but not fat either, average you could say.
But oh, oh, so complex inside.
Her grades were pretty good, except biology, but it wasn't something that made her feel stupid. Sadly the others didn't saw it like that, no, for them it was an excuse; to 'test' her, to give her the feeling of uselessness, breaking her confidence and innocence. To destroy the loving heart that held such warmth that it could burn you in such sweet embrance that it would be sinful.
The schooldays were long, tiring her ever so quickly, always stealing a piece of her once warm heart that it grew cold and heavy. She had me though, I tried my best, giving her the push when she really needed one, but I was still learning when to give it. So I sometimes miscalculated, giving it at the wrong time, making everything worse or madder, I still tried. For her.
But one Individuum just wasn't enough.
Her parents love her greatly, she was their only draughter, a gem for them. Always friendly and helpful, they tried to make it as easy as possible for her, knowing that school drew her engery.
Reading was her drug, to escape the gray that hung over the city and dive into the adventurous tales of a creative mind. Her eyes held a wishful gleam as they flew with practised ease over the pages. The soft music drowned out the stressful city life which poured in from the open window. In her mind danced characters to the songs, swung their body's to the melodies, collided with the bass and hold laughing onto each other.
But she was bored.
Days repeated, the same routine over and over again, so the colours were lost to faded, things became monochrom. She wouldn't stop though, she had plans. She wished for Freedom, for a life played with her rules, she as the game master and her daily life as game. A dog as friend, that's what she wanted. Someone to follow her without doubt.
Someone else to give her a push.
And no, no, she didn't want to hurt me with that, no, she was scared that she annoys me. No matter what I said, she just wouldn't belive me, but oh dear, I would give her a push every time she needed one.
Not long in the holidays and she visited her grandparents, they had a dog and lived more outside.
Guess what?
A miracle happened for her; she fell in love. It was so- Ironic, she felt free and wild, it's strong and soft at the same time, calling her in and pushing her away. So deep and sweet but at the same time Shallow and salty.
But she loved every second with it, although she grew sadder, knowing that she had to leave again, going back to the monochrome life, living her routine, reading books, getting good grades, feeling cold and useless, coming back to me.
Again, not because she doesn't like me, but I had at least a chance to survive the harshness of life, without her by my side. To me it would seem impossible. She wouldn't believe me when I tried to assure her otherwise. I still tried unwavering.
They don't like me, her parents I mean, but that's okay, at least I'm there for their daughter, so they accept our friendship, for her. We were friends for a long time, since kindergarden I believe, she was a very lonely child.
As she came back she told me about it, the feeling wich let her heart be warm once more, but she was sad.
Her smile faded and the once autumn kissed hair fell graceless over her shoulders it hurt me to see her like that. I pushed, in hope to get the smile I so loved back.
And I did the right thing.
She would go, travel back to her love, rewind time to once again lay in its arms, and she would stay. School isn't everything in life she said, books aren't either, forget the other students, her heart called, and she was overrun by emotions.
Nervous to see them again, scared they would reject her, panicked someone will stop her, but nobody did, because nobody cared, she loved every second of her short freedom.
And she stood before them, I still saw that she was nervous, her hands were sweating, the wind played with her hair as she looked down on hope to escape the eyes of other persons.
She needed a push, so I gave her one.
And then she fell.
Her love drew her in, holding her fiercely in an embrance of death without escape.
She kissed back and gave her air for them, not caring, for she was going home.
And so she drowned.
Because I pushed.
And at once I dissappeared
She had no need for a friend that was never even really there to care, Imagination is after all the minds strongest power.
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caim-the-godstomper · 5 years
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/breaks down your door/ all the questions for Caim/whoever takes your fancy for each question? >:3cccc
    Warning peeps, tis is going to be a long ass post because I decided that this mean “answer all the questions for Caim + another of your peep”. And I know me, I might end up writing a lot
Meeting someone for the first time
Caiméilia: If we’re talking about normal circumstances? She is smiley and easy going. Ask a lot of questions until she find a common ground. Too bad most of the time she meet people because they are getting attacked or she need informations, situations in which she’ll be crisp and down to business and try to get things moving.
Maximia: Max general strategy to avoid scaring smaller peeps with her height is to purr when meeting them for the first time. She used to slouch but the amount of slouching she had to do actually hurt her back. And Maguuma made her realize she can’t really do anything about people being scared
Around someone they want to impressCaiméilia
: She’s not going to act too different, at least not until she does something brag worthy in front of them. Afterwards? Like a cat bring a bird to you and picking it up and following you with it around until you reward them. A simple praise will do. You’re welcome
Maximia
: Max’s tail be swinging harder than a disco ball. She can’t keep her cool if she wants to impress someone and usually end up messing up whatever she’s doing
When they’re with someone they dislike
Caiméilia
: If she’s with someone she dislike it’s that she has no other choice but to work with them. She’s going to be distantly cold and polite. It mostly show in the lack of care about that person pain. “Can you walk?” instead of a more compassionate “I’m sure it hurts a lot but do you think you can walk?” for example
Maximia
: She’s not going to hide her distaste. Also don’t give her an occasion to punch you. She’ll punch you in the throat. Just ask Rytlock
In their workplace/occupation 
Caiméilia
: She’s the boss. She’s a good boss and will listen to her soldiers input but don’t go threatening your fellow soldiers for whatever reason you can cook up, she’ll cut you down in a couple words. 
Gwalläm
: Work is not something Gwal do much of. But if she does work, it’s as a healer. She sing to appease the people in her care. And if they are being stubborn “got to go back” peeps? She’ll freeze them in place
Spending time with family
Caiméilia
: Expect her to be loud. Hollewering with laugher loud. Well aside if she’s with Zheag or Canach and sometimes Taimi too. But yeah her family is her best friends too so it might end up in very weird conversation that leave you struggling to breath and plenty of inside jokes. She can sober up from it quickly and be a calm and comforting presence if need be tho. That’s the Mom in her for you
Gwalläm
: Pushing the peeps to try new things and get out of their comfort zone. Sure She didn’t imagine leaving te Grove as a sapling but now that she did, she really don’t get the sylvari that
never
leave
With their closest friend/s
Caiméilia
: Whacky shenighans on the way. They all been busy with world-ending threats as of late but the number of pranks her and Taimi played on everyone when they finally became friend is immense. Also you don’t want to be targeted by Caimie and Canach sass. They feed of each other, you won’t escape.
Gwalläm
: She’s either singing or indulging their hobbies. Which means she test-taste a lot of Maximia recipes.
Around someone they’re attracted to
Caiméilia
: So. Much. Longing Stares. Doing what she can to make them smile, even if it’s something like asking them about that person they love which is not her
Brynmïr
: Pull the weirdest compliments ever. You’re certain it is a compliment. It’s just one moment he’s talking about eating cute animal the next second he is “Let’s not eat anything cuter, it’d be weird to eat you”
With a lover
Caiméilia
: Standing close by in public. If they are fine with PDA she’ll hold hand or kiss their cheek. In private, she’ll snuggle against them to read and tickle fight them. She also is very generous with the declarations of affections
Brynmïr
: Will often ask to cut don the social time to go back home for some “us time”. Other people are meh. His partner though? oh he’d be happy to spend the day in bed with his partner, no question asked.
When they want to be left alone
Caiméilia
: Sure fire way to tell is that her eyes start scanning the place she is for place to climb to. She either goes to some remote hiding place or go for a fly with Sunquill her griffon. You’re more likely to find her up high although some time she might choose a grotto with water.
Brynmïr
: He’ll get snappy and goes to his jackal Spirit for a run
When they feel they are in danger
Caiméilia
: Only one way to deal with danger is to get rid of it. She square up and fight it off
Deynariel
: So. Many. Clones. She’s never going to put herself in danger, just her clones
Something makes them insecure
Caiméilia
: The whole “They will thank ME for putting YOU down” speech of Joko, basically. Except her fear steam from Mordremoth and discovering that yes, the Elder Dragons are important for the magical balance of the world. It’s more that Joko put it into words very well and was pressing on the point so well…
Deynariel
: She get really insecure when she fails to seduce someone as part of her scheme to bring sylvari to the Nightmare (her strategy being to seduce part of a couple/poly and once they brought them over, taunt the remaining and all their friends about it. Generally, that means she get plenty of peeps with minimal effort on her part). It get her really moody and she’ll often decapitate her next target instead of leaving a choice to join the court.
Experiencing loss
Caiméilia
: She tries to power through. If there is a griving process in the culture of the person she lost, she’ll follow that. That left her rather lost when she lost Trahearne since sylvari are pretty recent and don’t have yet their own yet.
Deynariel
: Her attitude towards her courtiers is a “Try not to die”. It tends to piss her off royally because then she has to exact vengeance to keep the others in line.
Proud of an achievement 
Caiméilia
: It mostly show because she’ll recount it when visiting Hoelbrack and the tale will be flourishig and lenghty 
Amirah
: She get cake for the whole Shining Blade
When something pisses them off
Caiméilia
: Full “move or you’ll be moved” attitude and she’s stubborn like a dolyak about it. If it can’t be moved cause Councillor Phlunt or Caithe and she *has to* work with she’ll deal by taking one strong drink in the evening
Amirah
: She used to go vent to the priesthood of Balthazar. Nowadays she just go train until she can barely stand.
Looking forward to something
Caiméilia
: She gets all bouncy on her feets, trying to sneak glances. Sometimes tries to calm herself down by smotthing her clothes.
Amirah
: Machiavelic grin and energic stride
Nervous about an uncertainty
Caiméilia
: When she can, put an end to it (by askin the question, etc). If it’s about the future, she deal by going “One problem at a time” and focusing on the present
Razzhull
: He is going to ignore it until it goes away. So hard.
When they’re overwhelmingly bored
Caiméilia
: She’ll pick up a book or start sculpting little wood tid bits. She’ll stay very quiet all along.
Razzhull
: Find some spot in the sun to nap or goes bother the Sires and the Ma’ms for stories from Tyria. The second having the advantage that he can then spend some time with Fae~
Just done something embarrassing
Caiméilia
: Either she doe it to embarass other peeps in which case she has no shame whatsoever and is giddy with the embarassement she brought on the other by second hand....or not in wich case she’s glowing and trying to hide her face
Razzhull
: He is being glad that charrs DON’T glow and try to hide. Which is not lucky cause he BIG and toll too.
Suppressing their emotions
Caiméilia
: She’ll go cold towards everyone and focus on her work. Taimi, Canach, Max and Zheag are the only one that can pull her from that state
Gwalläm
: She’s terrible at it and will be all jittery until she finally spill everything.
When they’re running late
Caiméilia
: She doesn’t run late. At worst she’s fashionably late to a party and that was because
it was hard to stop kissing Canachh alright
Brynmïr
: If he’s already late, he’s not going to hurry getting there. If he’s late to something time-sensitive, he already fucked it up. If not, it doesn’t really matter
When they’re sick
Caiméilia
: She is somewhat reasonable when she’s starting to feel sick and it getting worse. The moment she starts getting better though, she wnt to go back full blown to work.
Amirah
: She has to be put down to sleep and fed chicken soup or she’ll work, train and lead armies against gods while sick.
Training/working out
Caiméilia
: Big, biiiiig show-off that often suggest for a whole batallion of recruits to have a go at her at the same time. She always put them down. The only way she’ll be serious in a training is if she’s facing a DW member. And even then, 100% serious is only achieved with a 100% serious Canach in front of her
Razzhull
: Train alone, bare chested, at the crack of down. Will then skinny dip in the river. Once someone stole his clothes while he was in te water. He had to improvise with what he had on paw. Came back wit a leaf skirt that barely held together and really showcased his tighs
Trying to court/seduce someoneCaiméilia
: She flirts a bit, show them her favorite places. Probably stare a lot while they take on the view. Another thing is that she insist on their achievement and heroics deeds to be recognized, going so far as refusing to go to a party because their deeds aren’t being recognized.
Razzhul
: He doesn’t do much aside spending a lot of time and bringing small gifts he made himself (jewelry with sea shells, etc..). Take them to pace that are important, like where Raz’s parents held their wedding but does not say it.
When they’re lyingCaiméilia
: Mostly lie about being fine. It’s easy to know she’s lying cause she’ll keep isolating herself when she has down time or burry herself into works. If it’s not about that, it’s not so much of a lie as getting ahead of herself like telling Joko she had an army
before
convincing his army to fight Balthy
Ulfric Tyrkkin:
His lie is going to be so wrapped up in compliments and charming smiles that no one will want to even
see
the lie
Trying something newCaiméilia:
Suggested it and will get excited about it. Her face will showcase all her emotions
Ulfric Tyrkkin:
Any new experience is surrounded by 1- a steal 2-some fancy meal. That way, even if he did not enjoy it, he has something good to remember
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jack-o-wolf · 7 years
Text
Prologue.
 “Behind the curtain, beyond the wrong door
lonely and silent he sits
and reads in an old book
his own story.” –Manuel de Castro.
 I can’t imagine a better way to describe the encounter that I planned in order to meet a young man who...how to describe him...lived a mediocre life, without anything worth of tales left alone notes. I know it sounds arrongant, contradictory even, but I garantee, my dear living, that this youth has created, like very few have, a world so fantastic that has made them imortals and whose names are worthy of being studied and discussed.
Forgive me dear reader for in my excitment of writing this narrative that was entrusted to me by this young man, whose name has no importance, is so great that I’ve forgotten to give you my name...although after I tell you about this encounter with the boy you will know who I am. So let’s begin:
Just another day of routine in the mediocre life of this dreamer, going to school to prepare to his bright  and planned future traced by himself after choosing his career. Leaving his house, he found himself not at the street like it was supoused to lead, but at a big and luxurious amphitheater.
In front of him, there were rows organized as a half-circle, so that all the audience would be able to see the acts that would be performed to cause horror, laughter, despair, sadness and all emotions that you humans mistify so much and try to recreate in words. Each one of the seats was adorned with carvings that ressembled small serpents that shared the same origin, from behind the head to whoever ocuppied the seat. Turning himself towards the back of the stage, he noticed that the red as blood curtain, always open during the shows to display the scenery of a love declaration or a great battle or even a long argument about any subject would be held, that even if completly boring still atracted the attention of humans in a almost vilanous way, such curtain was closed as if the show was still being prepared.
Surprisingly calm, I dare say terrifingly calm, for any other that saw him or herself in this situation would try to understand what was happening, or try to find someone to come for their aid or even look for the dor that originally led them to such a place – I say this from experience, since I’ve seen others follow the patern just described, the boys reaction increased my interest in the Young one. – he calmly walked towards the velvet curtain soft to the touch. As he walked, not one of the planks made a crank, wich indicated that either the place was well preserved or recently build, although the smell hinted to thenplace never being cleaned or used.
Behind the closed curtains there was a door with a golden star with a big “W” engraved in it, maybe it stood for wigs, but if the reader payed attention to the poem at the begining you’ll know what it stands for. The door was barely open, so just a touch from the boys hand was enough to make it open completly. Beyond it, sat an old figure with a dark and bitter face, but not a face of regret but of disbelief before the helplessness of the situation it found itself in.
In his hands he held a thin book with pages marked by time, even if the book itself did not look but a few months old. This figure was no other than the one who speaks with you now, I pretended to read the book and ignore his presence, so that I could see what other surprises he would give me. As if the situation didn’t bother him, he aproched me and said:
–Have thy come to take my life, old lady?
The shock of how calmly he asked and the question itself was so great that I feared he had seen through my disguise, so I couldn’t resfrain myself from saying:
–Don’t call me “old” boy, I’ve no interest in collecting your thread, but your courage and cunning surprises me. What gave me away?
–Nothing. – he answered with the smile of a child that maneged to get what it wanted. – Just a guess based out all the cliches that you presented to me...
–Cliches?! – I answered revealing the true sound of my voice.
–You used a poem written by Manuel Costa as a base and then added a few touches that contradicted reality and appearence. And the used the one tool that all fear when readding that excert: the possibility that the figure readding its own story being the lyrical self seeing himself in the future, the form you chose to manifest is me in the future, right?
–HAHAHA! You’re not very sane are you? You talk to “undesired of people”, “the one certainty we have in life” as if you’re talking to an equal!
–Just as you said  you’re the one thing that we’re certain, so why should I treat you any different?
–If everyone saw me the way you and rare others see me, my work would be much more simple... – I had just noticed that I was talking with him as if I was talking with an old friend that I hadn’t seen in a long while.
–But...if you didn’t come to take me, what do you want with me? – he asked with curiosity and not a hint of fear.
–Ah, yes...– he brought me back to the motive that made me bring him to that realm between worlds. – ...its about your book.
–You mean the one you were reading with no interest at all? What’s with it? – he inquired with even greater curiosity. – Taking into account that I’ve already planned practly everything, I don’t know what could be wrong.
–Well, you must have already noticed that the life of every individual is written down in a book with the characteriscs of it’s author...
–In my case I look like a old man inside, so that’s why the pages look so old?
–No, in your case is just as you said: “I’ve already planned practly everything” so the book is finished and is already starting to age...
–...I understand.
–...as I was saying, every living being has it’s own book, but some special individuals have more tha one book under it’s name while alive.
–How is that possible? One cannot live more than one life at a time, even those who suffer from mental disorder only live once, no matter how many delusions manifest themselves. – his eyes were brimming with curiosity before my revelation.
–You know the poem I’ve used as an inspiration to build this place  so you must know some of these books as well...
–What boo-...
He didn’t manage to finish that sentence due to his surprise before the library that now occupied the once empty room. Books from every being that lives and has lived alined and organized in alphabetic order, also put in groups according to how long they lived. After he regained his composure, without hidding his marvel with all the stories that sorrounded him, I procceded:
–...I know it’s amazing to be before so many lives and legendary names, but know that the second book to wich I reffer are these. – I’ve said as I pointed to books created by famed writters who instigated the imagination of those who really read them. – You mus know some of them, like “Senhora” by José Alencar or if you preffer someone more of your time like Tolkien or Rafael Dracon, do you know what they have in comon?
–Besides being famous writers? No.
–Your sincerity is moving...so think, how many people have read those books?
–How many stars are in the sky?
–Right. And how many have recreated this worlds as they read them?
–I don’t think I get where you’re going with this...
–When someone writes something that inspires many people to imagine the world they created turns them imortals, their worlds come to existence in another plain of existence and their books come to my collection where I’m responsible for preserving them...
–WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Rewind a little, you’re telling me that the great writers...
–Actually movie directors too, but they rarely get the spotlight...
–Whathever?! They’re immortals?!
–Yes, they are still in the mortal realm wandering as people whose faces disappear from memory, a little gift from yours trully, but back to the point...
–Poor people...
–What?! What do you mean “poor people”? They can see people enter their worlds and Marvel themselves with them.
–But, I can’t imagine something worse than imortality...see everything and everyone I know live their lives, age and die while I would stay eternal...but if it wasn’t for...not even in that case...
I won’t deny, when I heard this words I felt my heart be crushed, it never ocurred to me. All living beings seek to avoid me at all costs, immortality to me was what all living decided. For the first time I felt a tear touch my skin...
–Are you alright? – he asked sincerely, I recomposed myself and restarted the subject.
–You, however, are a exception.
–Excuse me?
–You dream about your world, draw it, created and recreated it again and again...
–How did you...
–Here... – I showed a battered a book conttaining drawings, notes, data about a different and unique culture. – Recognizes it?
–But this is... – the shock was both in his eyes and his face.
–This world is wonderfull and intriguing, but the narrative is inexistent, that is besides some moments where you talk like you lived in that world, you created everything and did something no one achieved before. You alone created this entire world in another realm.
–What?
–That’s right, but I have to say that the lack of a protagonist and plot in itself are a problem... – I was so distracted that his shock passed unnoticed by me.
–In other words you want me to write the story?
–Yes!
Silence...for a few moments that was all that eas heard, he looked around lost and in despair as if he did not believe in the words I had just spoke – the kind of reaction I expected when I brought him to the stage. The silence remained until he suddenly turnned twowards me, his eyes had an unique glow to them, the kind of glow when someone realizes a new possibility.
–I’m sorry to say but I won’t write anything...
–You dare to deny my request, your thread still has a long extension, but I can...
–I want you to write the protagonist’s story, you can take the glory and the name of the book, but I know the name of the protagonist and who will play his part...
–You’re placing your world in my hands?
–More than that, I’m placing my life in your hands!
I was so surprised by those words that I fell back on a chair that I made manifest in order to prevent me from hitting the ground. A human who had his entire life planned now left at my mercy the creation of a story for a world so personal, not only that he left his destiny? Me, the one who takes away life not give it unless the thread of destiny is already servered and in my possession, I never even thought that someone would entrust me with his thread before his time.
At that moment I remembered that I could verify how sincere he was about the offer since I’m an entity. I snuck into his mind so that I could understand what was going through his thoughts, what I saw was the world that intrigued me so much alive with music, fantastical beings, a nocturne sky painted with trails of golden lights left by the tails of massive creatures born from groups of stars, they swimmed, danced, played and flew as if they were parto f a celebration. On the ground modern music didn’t match the appearence of the building from where it came, like a contagious flow of energy. By my side, there was a being that did not exist in the book that introduced me to this world.
The face of a Wolf, with very few traces of a human face, it’s eyes were picth black like the sky, the otrso of a man covered in a dark gray fur, donning clothes surprisingly modern for the enviroment. It had big hands with slightly long fingers bared what appeared to be claws, it’s legs where akin to a wolf ’s, barefotted not because it was poor, but because it was costumary to creatures who look like animals to walk that way, since they don’t require shoes. It’s tail was long and furry, with irregular patterns of white and light blue combined with his beatifull gray.
It’s appearence surprised me, although nothing would scared me as much as what followed, it turnned towards me with it’s tranquil and dark eyes and said:
–Its beatifull isn’t it? – it could see me!! And it knew of my invasion, but most importantly was the who was thw figure before me.
Our places had been swapped, now I was the guest in his world, the reader must have noticed right? The boy was the creature who stood before me and made me feel so vulnerable and safe with it’s mere presence.
In an attempt to avoid any new surprises that the boy could create I saw myself out of his mind and returned to the vessel I created, which was standing still staring at the child that was scribbling on his book, which was actually more of a guide for his marvelous world. Noticing that my puppet was moving once again he welcomed me with a smile as he said:
–Forgot your manners? But that doesn’t matter now, do you understand my proposition now? I want you top ut me in my world and create the trail which I’ll follow in this new life.
His words did not reach me due to all the commotion up to that moment. Then the final proof fo his sincerity hit me, the book that represented his life up to that moment turnned into small spheres of light before my eyes. He dismantled his own book...such a feat never once ocurred since the beginning of all living things, all his history was erased, he disappeared of the minds of all those who had contact with him, he turnned himself into a phanthom, not a single trace of his existence was left behind in the “real” world from where he once came.
–You actually gave upon everything... – I said shattering the silence, my voice was dark as the eyes of the Wolf-man – ...and now you place all of your hopes of having your dreams made a reality in me...
–I can’t think of a better person to guide me.
–Very well, lets...
–Wait! – he shouted. – I only ask three things: first, my name will be Jack, nothing more, nothing less; second, use my diary to build the world; third and most important...take good care of my dream!
I didn’t give him another second, I servered his thread and his body disappeared. Don’t misunderstand me, but I feared that if I continued my conversation with him I would not be able to grant his wish, I would rather make him my companion, we would read the greatest stories ever created, we would analise the lives of the mortals and...
I beg you pardon dear reader, for finding myself lost in my thoughts, now that the story of this book has been brought up to light, I’ll explain some aspects of the body of this book, some fragments of it will be in a different editing from the general text, these are excerpts of the boy’s diary and they explain certain aspects of this world when necessary.
Now that all these details have been explained, the time to start the story has already passed, one last warning though: if you expect something for childish or lighthearted you better stop reading, because this story is alive and won’t be for those who belive that fantasy elements are part of something that has it’s boundaries of light and darkness perfectly defined. You’ve been warned.
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