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#why this is my fave katie pic idk
behbuh · 3 years
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cattles-bians · 3 years
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exes au part 12
post directory
obsetress: don’t ask why i had this thought because i couldn’t tell you but
obsetress: jamie wakes up in the middle of the night one night and is like “i... had a dream. about vi”
obsetress: and dani’s like “ok baby” and just nuzzles deeper into her pillow and jamie’s like
obsetress: “no, dani, a... a dream”
obsetress: and dani’s like “oh. oh” and is immediately wide awake and bright eyed
obsetress: and is like “was it any good?” and jamie is just. already flushed so red and flushed deeper and dani just hums
em: sighs wistfully
em: i also love that something compels jamie to tell dani Immediately
em: oh the perils of begrudgingly being friends w ur gfs ex
em: jamies like um. no see i can see all these different things my brain mashed together and WHY i had this dream and danis like ok but that wasn’t my question....
obsetress: jamie finally throws up her hands “of course it was”
em: jamie: And You Can’t Tell Vi She’ll Be Insufferable
obsetress: dani, very plainly, at brunch the next morning: so vi
obsetress: jamie looks like she’s going to have a heart attack and dani lets her sweat and then just smiles sweetly “i like those sunglasses. are they new?”
em: jamie what’s the problem (nothin. indigestion)
obsetress: dani very smug n thinks she’s very funny
obsetress: (she is a little funny)
em: one of jamies many ‘oh that’s why they dated’ moments
obsetress: “fookin sick, the both of ya”
em: idk why you had this thought but i’m GREATLY amused
obsetress: skskksksks right
obsetress: jamie explaining her dream to dani in great detail afterwards
obsetress: dani sitting there nodding and hmming “oh that sounds like her. no, she wouldn’t do that. now THAT she would be very good at, you’d like it”
em: i need a moment
em: jamie thinks the dark hides her massive fucken blush but it Doesn’t
em: dani can feel her heating up
obsetress: jamie “i don’t ask you to do this” dani “you’re not stopping me”
em: dani critiquing jamies sex dream is such a fucken funny concept sjdhdkhdkdhdkc
obsetress: RIGHT
obsetress: i’m dying
em: dani: oh no that’s OOC
obsetress: she wouldn’t have a riding crop jamie, it’s 2021, not 16—
em: jamie: it’s a wet dream do u really think it’s gonna have beta readers and a three act structure
em: dani hums
obsetress: dani: well did you enjoy it
obsetress: jamie: i— dani: did you?
obsetress: jamie mumbling yeah
em: jamies like i’m gonna interrogate dani next time, see how she feels- but she forgets dani is incapable of feeling shame
obsetress: like dani wouldn’t just launch into a ramble
---
em: viola
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obsetress: fuck
obsetress: yeah
obsetress: to jamie, specifically,
em: to jamie specifically andhdjhdjd
em: once again ironic jamvi has turned, in my brain, into ‘yes and....’ jamvi
—-
obsetress:
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obsetress: jamie sending this to viola n vi's like
obsetress: she doesn't get it because she's convinced her taste is immaculate
---
em: anyway this is ooc even for exes au but i keep thinking abt like. jamie tryna crack how old viola is (she cant be 34 im 30 it doesnt make sense) and going through her fb timeline like. 'aha! motivational quotes. gotta be late 30s' and danis either like
em: danis either like 'you have a notebook where you write down all the quotes you like baby' OR shes like haha ok thats fair (posts another motivational quote on her fb)
obsetress: god i love that so much
obsetress: both of those dani responses are
obsetress: honestly porque no los dos if we're already going ooc
obsetress: i do think the first bit "gotta crack it she can't be 34 i'm 30 it doesn't make sense" is in character fwiw
em: obviously i was inspired by ur post in the milf channel abt viola always saying shes 35
em: big brain
—-
obsetress: this is literally just. exes au rebecca
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obsetress: down to the caption
obsetress: vi and rebecca patiently staging like full photoshoots for each other every time one of them wants a pic otp: i'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort
---
em: bold 2 say that we don’t think about jamie and vi tho
em: gotta keep some sorta. presentation of respectability
em: they absolutely couldn’t date tho
obsetress: lmao ikr
obsetress: yeah no they'd kill each other
obsetress: now just thinking of silly circumstances and um
obsetress: rebecca's out of town and dani's flying back from some iowa thing jamie couldn't get away for to go with
obsetress: and viola's like "oh, just stay at ours, it's closer and i'll get you a car"
obsetress: and just like
obsetress: imagining the two of them cohabitating at vi's for a night
em: jamie sneaking around at night tryna find the bathroom and runs straight into vi in a face mask and a dangerously low dressing gown Again
obsetress: the parallels to canon
obsetress: im giggling
obsetress: walks straight into her path
em: opens a door. sees something she doesn’t want to see. immediately turns and walks away
em: god the face mask would make her look like the lady in the lake
obsetress: yeah
obsetress: vi wants to go out to dinner, jamie's just like "i'm already getting up early to go to the airport, can't we just have an easy night in"
em: what did i say before. that thing abt if ur friends w damie you will inevitably walk in on them
obsetress: god yeah
em: flip of that.
obsetress: oh GOD
em: god they would argue about dinner
em: bicker about EVERYTHING
em: dani and rebecca both make the married couple joke
em: jamie goes pale
obsetress: wait sorry i just went back to tahirahs insta post and like
obsetress: katie parker commented and was like "i love these shots of you" and she was like "thanks luv " and i'm like
obsetress: why does this....... still track........... with exes au...............
em: perdy is always a little too flirty w vis paramours
obsetress: always! except dani for whatever reason
obsetress: she's just scared of dani
em: Please
obsetress: rebecca's like "i don't see what the problem is. she can do what she wants, but you trust me, don't you?" "of course i trust you" rebecca shrugs "that's it then, isn't it?"
obsetress: anyway vi huffs n crosses her arms n pouts a little bit and is like "well i don't want her to"
obsetress: rebecca is endeared and uses the opportunity to her advantage like the top leaning switch she is
em: dani rebecca parallels: always dtf
obsetress: perdi and vi fighting and vi's like "are you even gay? or do you just want what i have?" and perdi is like "does it matter?"
em: are you even gay perdi nahdkdhdkdhd
em: perdi is like you KNOW about jamie and viola crinkles her nose bc she forgot about that and she’s starting to respect jamie as a person
obsetress: djflakdkfjldkadjLDJFLSKDFJLSDKFJx
obsetress: i screeched
em: viola: you only MET jamie because i hired her for landscaping you fucking-
obsetress: just thinking about perdita watching jamie working on some property sweating in a tank top and Deciding
em: bringing out some lemonade etc
em: haha you look parched
obsetress: smiling widely, turning on the charm
obsetress: jamie is very attractive and very swoonworthy, but perdita 100% only goes for it because she refuses to let viola have one (1) thing
obsetress: and that extends to lesbianism
em: viola's like no this is normal right. siblings competing. rivalries etc and danis like uh i’m an only child and jamies like uh i raised my brother
em: they don’t know how to tell her sure it happens but it’s also extremely fucken weird vi
obsetress: jamie: you have to tell her dani: why do i have to tell her jamie: you tell her everything dani: i don't tell her–– ok, i tell her most things. i'm not sure i want to tell her this though jamie: why not dani: she's not... she's not gonna like it jamie: So You Might Be A People Pleaser,
em: jamie: i can’t tell her. she’s only just forgotten the perdi thing. what if she remembers i’ve
em: in depth character study of viola and perdi’s fucked up rivalry
em: violas like goddamn it do i have to fuck jamie to get even
obsetress: i––
em: she decides against it
em: jamie is none the wiser
obsetress: she Considers it tho
em: jamie would die on the spot if she knew
obsetress: weighs the pros and cons
obsetress: the best part is like
obsetress: this is all post-danvi and pre-damie right so when dani n jamie see rebecca and vi at that video store
obsetress: viola's like wait.
obsetress: wait
obsetress: dani ending up with the hot gardener her sister fucked because she has bizarre jealousy and possession issues is really just the cherry on top of a shit sundae
em: the funniest part of all our very tangled lore is like
em: none of it contradicts bc it’s even funnier when it’s Extremely Ugly And Messy
em: because lesbians are just... like that
---
obsetress: exes au au where viola did fuck jamie, the video rental shop scene is 100 times more awkward
em: don’t think about it don’t think about it dont
em: i am thinking about it
em: jamie has to deal with having been railed by all three of them instead of just the two
em: it feels very uneven to her bc rebeccas a doll, dani, u don’t understand, and ur only running into one ex,
obsetress: talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known
obsetress: "wait, that's your ex?" "yeah" "dani" "what" "dani" "what" jamie's voice is hushed but a lil pitchy and a lot panicky "i think i fucked your ex" "you think?" "i fucked your ex" "you fucked her or she fucked you? because i'm sorry, baby, but i really don't think––"
em: sorry, baby, but i really don’t think-
em: SCREAMED
obsetress: that might be my fave lil bit i've ever written adlfkjasdklf
em: dani being a little too interested in jamie getting railed is like. everything to me
obsetress: jamie's already big blushing
em: a little secret between hannah obsetress and em cowlesbian but i am So thinking abt it
em: patreon exclusive exes au au
[em edit: you can imagine how long this lasted]
obsetress: no one is happy about this situation except dani, who is delighted
em: after, jamie's like. what did u mean by u don’t think that...
em: puffs out her chest
em: i could have-
em: danis like yeah but i know u didn’t did u
obsetress: dani clayton ilu
em: danis like um
em: completely unprompted bc dani ‘finishes a conversation 5 hours later’ is really funny to me
em: danis like i did tho
em: jamies like can you DROP IT
em: she’s SMUG
em: she’s so pleased w herself
obsetress: in bed with the lights off jamie's pulling the sheets up and closing her eyes afterthought
obsetress: just a happy lil hum and an "i did, though"
obsetress: and jamie knows IMMEDIATELY what she's talking about
em: dani never lets jamie live it down
obsetress: never!
obsetress: they'll be washing dishes one day "hey baby?" "hmm" "you slept with a landlord"
em: oh um. flipping the whole ‘experienced jamie virginal dani’ trope everyone loves but
em: i love the idea of dani being like hey jamie did u ever- and jamies like (grumbles) does it matter
em: dani is mentally applying a gold star to her chart
obsetress: ksdljfskdfjlsdjflksdjaf
obsetress: the gold star
em: at this point dani is absolute just tryna tease jamie so she’s like oh well when- and jamies like ok i get it
em: jamie Pretends not to be a little interested
obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca very matter of factly swapped stories the first day they Realized
obsetress: vibecca swapping stories and their stories complimenting each other so well that they're like well. hmm
obsetress: glad those two found each other
em: two praise kinks u say
em: ok sorry one more thought i’m thinking abt like
em: jamie staying over (idk if this is before or during damie) and viola and perdi are having yet another spat on the phone and violas like
em: no you ALWAYS do this, whatever you think you’re doing with rebecca-‘ and she barely hears some muffled sorta ‘oh, sorry, remember jamie-
em: and jamies doing the maths. hmm
em: jamies like actually i refuse to examine this further. self care
em: brings it up with dani later and dani LOSES her shit laughing
em: haha jamie you got willoughby’ed
obsetress: SCREAMS
obsetress: you got willoughby'd
obsetress: how does one get willoughbyd asking for a friend
em: yeah same asking for a friend
obsetress: dani, gigglesnorting: wait, you hooked up with... with perdi?
obsetress: (dani hates perdita because viola hates perdita and it is a deep seated hatred she refuses to unlearn)
obsetress: a loyalty strange and enduring, despite it all
em: to be fair perdi is the Worst
em: all of these characters i love to make sympathetic and then perdi is where i draw the line akdhdkhd
em: it’s funnier if she’s awful
em: like a viola that never gets therapy
obsetress: lldjfkaskldfj god same
obsetress: it's too good
em: danis like wait hold on. lemme get a pen
em: makes a silly little chart
em: if the fandom tries to make jamie into a shane the l word character i will simply take that and make jamie mortified abt her uh. well! a pretty girl is nice to her and she forgets how to behave
em: jamie's like oh sure like u don’t have embarrassing flings- and danis like yeah but i don’t interact w them on a daily basis jamie
em: also i didn’t fuck perdi
obsetress: skskskflsdflks
obsetress: "you did fuck perdi though, right? because that just be embarrassing, jamie, if she had been the one who..."
em: skgsdjhdkdhdk
em: jamie grumbles something abt pillow princesses and dani like
em: CLAPS her hands in glee
obsetress: jlsdjflkJSDFKJSDFJ
obsetress: GOD
obsetress: she's immediately pulling out her phone to text vi
em: jamies like why would u message her sister that u freak n danis like oh no theyre very open with each other it’s uh. hmm. anyway
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Zelda & Zach
ihatemyguts: Good thing you told me how bubble boy posi Robyn’s ‘rents are
ihatemyguts: ‘cos that felt like such a brush-off
ihatemyguts: I feel kinda bad, it’s low-key just upset her with no shopping trip pay-off 😬
inandout: your first date was today
inandout: the insane jealousy must have forced me to forget
ihatemyguts: Obviously
ihatemyguts: moping and staring out of open windows would be bad for your health
ihatemyguts: probably
ihatemyguts: can’t have that
inandout: mope hard enough and fling myself all over the house, they’ll call it exercise
ihatemyguts: I’d let Rob know but her parents would probably sue me
ihatemyguts: I did some research
ihatemyguts: and yeah, flare-ups fucking suck, but if she was struggling that bad rn she’d be in hospital getting her 💉 on
ihatemyguts: makes me ⁉️ if the meetup will happen
inandout: makes me wonder if her brothers are allowed out
inandout: if they are maybe they can help us smuggle her to the meetup
ihatemyguts: not just a pretty face
ihatemyguts: that’s a damn good idea
ihatemyguts: I can slide in their DMs
inandout: Cranking up the jealousy metre to give me a full work out, I see, are you gonna be a PE teacher when you grow up?
ihatemyguts: *prays they aren’t like 12*
ihatemyguts: imagine if that was my life’s ambition
ihatemyguts: wear unflattering sportswear and give kids complexes
ihatemyguts: even without the potential life-shortening illness, I’d reconsider that
inandout: it tracks that you’d wanna make them 💩 and bringing back the bleep test could work
ihatemyguts: okay I’m not 🦹‍♀️ or 🐯 levels of sweet but is that what you really think of me? 😏
inandout: I think there’s only one rebel teacher coming to mind and I haven’t watched that film so all I know is they stand on desks
inandout: probably not a perfect fit for you
ihatemyguts: I could force you to watch it for our first date
ihatemyguts: and ask you, what your dream job would be
inandout: Netflix and chill or cinema screening of the ‘classics’?
inandout: we could do a drive-thru
ihatemyguts: hmm 🤔
ihatemyguts: there are pluses to ‘em all
ihatemyguts: cinema, we could laugh at all the snobs and 🤓s
inandout: Cool, reach out to me with the time + date when it’s showing
inandout: Are you allowed 🍿?
ihatemyguts: oh hell no
ihatemyguts: have to find another way to hold my hand
inandout: 🦸‍♀️ said she was gonna look up ice breakers and stuff, hopefully it was a fruitful search and she won’t mind sharing the info
ihatemyguts: do you think she legit didn’t realize how thirsty that boy was for her
ihatemyguts: or is it all uwu coy-ness
inandout: It’s hard to tell
inandout: but if I remember my glasses I’ll do my best to decode her body language from 6 ft away
ihatemyguts: aside from hospital, have you ever met someone else with cf?
inandout: Nope
inandout: jokes aside, it really is discouraged
ihatemyguts: that’s a hard one to get your head around
ihatemyguts: far as adjustments go
inandout: getting Robbie at this meetup won’t be easy
inandout: separate ones mean we might not have her there
ihatemyguts: I reckon we can trust you and Kara to keep the teen love story fictional
ihatemyguts: for all our sake’s
inandout: She’ll get her man
inandout: it’s not like bad advice and dating pitfalls are just a click away
ihatemyguts: cosmos never steered ANYONE wrong
inandout: Yahoo answers neither
ihatemyguts: might be confused as to why they’re not related
inandout: [I like to think he’s just sending his fave yahoo answer answers now for the lols]
ihatemyguts: [meme back and forth lads]
ihatemyguts: if she gets her date we could go into the matchmaker business
ihatemyguts: start at home
ihatemyguts: 🤖 don’t last forever
inandout: Rob’ll need to be next or she won’t forgive us
inandout: and we’ll soon get tired/guilty of seeing the amount of 😿💔 spam the chat
ihatemyguts: we’ll have to liberate her first
ihatemyguts: in a literal way
ihatemyguts: not the pretentious, free your 🧠 type of vibe
inandout: Kidnap’s playing into her parents’ fears but we don’t have a better option
ihatemyguts: now it’s my turn for a potential 💡
ihatemyguts: what if that is exactly what she should do
inandout: jump scare them?
ihatemyguts: if she did some actual wild shit to show them they’re being suffocating, ‘scuse the mention, then they’ll have to compromise and let her do normal kid things and everyone will win
ihatemyguts: I realize getting her to wild out might be a problem
ihatemyguts: catfish it though?
inandout: 💡⭐️
inandout: getting her to agree to do it for real would take longer than we have but you’re right, faking it wouldn’t take any time at all
ihatemyguts: get Lauren to picture whatever the hell she’s up to
ihatemyguts: sorted
inandout: + there’s your next photo challenge ready to be accepted, dressing as if you were going on a date with 👵🌈✨ instead
ihatemyguts: hold my neon
ihatemyguts: and think, do we clue Rob in on this plan now or do it on her behalf first, ‘cos we could hit up her house phone with some madness to get ‘em sus now and when she’s like wuuuuut it’ll sound even more
ihatemyguts: or is that a bit evil genius instead of 🦹‍♀️
inandout: Does she even have a house phone? We don’t
inandout: you’ll have to find another way to trick my parents into believing I’m a badass
ihatemyguts: I bet they do
ihatemyguts: can’t trust a mobile
ihatemyguts: and I bet they don’t have a microwave, they’re that sort
ihatemyguts: obvs I’ll just direct them to Lauren on your friends list with a 🤔
inandout: We should probably warn her, in case she takes it the wrong way
inandout: or decides to stand up to them for her YA movie moment
ihatemyguts: yeah, you’re right
ihatemyguts: if she doesn’t go for it, her brothers might be of use still
ihatemyguts: have to focus my evil energy elsewhere
ihatemyguts: such as…
ihatemyguts: 🥁
ihatemyguts: [one of the crazier lewks from babyteeth for the photo challenge]
inandout: 🤞🏻 one of them is old enough to drive the people carrier
inandout: Uhh… that was a suspiciously fast transformation
ihatemyguts: didn’t know you was challenging a pro?
ihatemyguts: and someone with a lot of time on her hands
inandout: I do now
inandout: and I’m guessing it’s not every day you get stood up based on what else I know about you
ihatemyguts: it’s a first
ihatemyguts: not that I constantly ask people out
ihatemyguts: but that is what I’ve put across so fair enough
ihatemyguts: what am I interrupting for you?
inandout: I’m waiting on friends
inandout: this could end in both of us being stood up
ihatemyguts: am I a drag you down with me type?
ihatemyguts: hmm
ihatemyguts: nah, I’ll cross my fingers that your friends aren’t flaky
inandout: Late, but I’d be too if it wasn’t my house
inandout: What are you gonna do now shopping’s off?
ihatemyguts: life is one big photo challenge, right
ihatemyguts: yours is ‘whatever will make your friends double-take when they open the door’
ihatemyguts: it’s a good question
ihatemyguts: we’re going to virtual shop tomorrow but she wasn’t up for it today
inandout: Wait for it and their faces
inandout: + you’re virtually invited to watch movies and play games, you won’t be the only one who isn’t here in person
ihatemyguts: 👍
ihatemyguts: cool
ihatemyguts: meeting new people is my new thing, as long as your mates are down/not the level of nerd that they might get a nosebleed if a girl is about
inandout: Some of them are girls if that helps
inandout: and my brother won’t be there to bring down the cool
ihatemyguts: low-key a shame
ihatemyguts: have to meet him before the first date though
inandout: I’ve got a father you can ask for permission if you’re feeling old-fashioned
ihatemyguts: full set
ihatemyguts: fun
ihatemyguts: mines in scotland so we’ll let you off that trek
inandout: But a road trip is a coming of age movie staple! 😫 Has Netflix aired any YA without one + are you willing to take that risk?
inandout: mine’s a workaholic but we’ve got years to catch him
ihatemyguts: forget the meds, see who gets fucked up first
ihatemyguts: it’d be a journey, for sure
ihatemyguts: do you know what he does? ‘cos so’s mine and I couldn’t tell you, tbh
inandout: Or mix them up and see what happens when you take the ones for my 💩
inandout: He’s a sales manager, he says, but why so vague?
ihatemyguts: sounds like something they’d do at cool parties
ihatemyguts: and that sounds suspish
ihatemyguts: they should have this 🤓 but with a moustache instead of the buckteeth
ihatemyguts: dads are elusive creatures… conspiracy time, what are they all up to
inandout: Not sure that’s the topic Rich has been watching vids on but I’ll ask
ihatemyguts: he can always tactfully ignore you if he’s 😳
ihatemyguts: like he does with 👵🌈✨ when she’s extra
ihatemyguts: more than usual
inandout: Be harder to do that in person
ihatemyguts: I think everyone will still get on
ihatemyguts: unless fibrofog shows, then that’ll be teen show worthy drama, of course
inandout: I think he’s genuinely blocked, he’d need a 2nd account to find out about it
ihatemyguts: hope he’s seen catfish too
inandout: He’d be a fan of the one where the man refused to believe it wasn’t Katy Perry
ihatemyguts: it does seem like the sort of thing she’d do
ihatemyguts: poor bastard
inandout: 😂
ihatemyguts: ultimate photo challenge, catfishing everyone and then going for the ruveal
ihatemyguts: might need more than just a wig 🤔😏
inandout: Dressing like her would make my friends do a double-take
inandout: [pics of some of her outrageous lewks with his head put on]
ihatemyguts: 😂😂😂
ihatemyguts: you suit the 🍦🧁🍭🍩✨
inandout: We’ve probably got a can of squirty cream lying around for hot chocolate
ihatemyguts: inhaler but make it ~sExxxIii~
inandout: [a lil video of his failed attempt to re-create that in her insta DMs or wherever because idk if they can send stuff like that here]
ihatemyguts: Katy dat you 😍😍
inandout: I’ve agreed to only string you along for 4 years not 6 and I don’t have any savings to spend 25% of on a 💍
inandout: looks like the comparison starts and stops with our black curls
ihatemyguts: not much of an orlando bloom clone myself so it’s alright
ihatemyguts: pirate is always an excellent disabled-friendly costume though so add that to the ideas board we should start
inandout: If we decide the next meetup is fancy dress, Lauren will never go back home
ihatemyguts: that’s the mood
inandout: [sends her whatever he did for the photo challenge and his friends reaction to it because why not say they’ve arrived and there’s a similar feral mood here]
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Utd vs Reading 02/02/2020
Or, as @danieljamesmufc so eloquently put it, ‘The Battle of The Baes’ (Baes in question obviously being Amy Turner and Angharad James)
Anywho, there isn’t much of a ~detailed~ analysis like other pieces have had. A lot of the plays (and therefore, issues) are the same every game, and I don’t wanna keep repeating myself by making the same points week in and week out. Also, this game was kinda scrappy and not much really happened - until the end but we will get there in due time. I have a LOT of thoughts about the end of this game.
Few small changes in the XI - due to McManus picking up an injury vs Chelsea, Amy came back in at CB which was just
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And then I saw Harris at RB 😐 I think I’ve made my feelings about that very clear, and I don’t wanna start hating on Martha for the sake of it, but Smith is the better of the two imo. And I just can’t see why Casey keeps insisting on playing TWO natural RB’s when she has a natural LB sitting on the bench ALL THE TIME, collecting splinters in her arsecheeks. It’s annoying, and I’m kinda sick of it.
Lizzie Arnot dropped out of the XI, in favour of Jane Ross for this one, and everything else was pretty much the same as Wednesday night.
Also, and I would really appreciate some help/info/whatever you’ve all got for this, but I was under the impression that Amy couldn’t (or at least, wasn’t really supposed to) play 3 games in one week? I’m like 90% sure that Casey benched her a few times in the second half of last season for this exact reason? Apparently that’s down to the knee injury she had a few years ago, but I would appreciate some clarification on this if anyone has anything 🧐
Also (I’m being annoying now, sorry) but this commentator was... bad. Mispronuncing players names (who is Jackie Groinen?), not even bothering to try and pronounce others (here’s looking at you, Angharad James), misidentifying players, just not really knowing what was happening a solid 83% of the time... idk who she is but she needs to not commentate on a United game again, I can’t listen to her. Girl had some, interesting, opinions too, and I’m quoting her directly now, “United will think that they’re due a defeat” 🧐 I’m not entirely sure how, or why, that would be the case, but apparently both United and Reading have alternating W/L runs in the league and today was Reading’s turn to win? I was confused. I still kinda am. And I didn’t like it.
First half:
The first 10 mins of this were pretty boring tbh. There was an awful lot of back and forth, misplaced passes, interceptions and the like. I think United were just on top in the opening few minutes, judging by the amount of time they spent in Reading’s half, and their possession.
‘8 - Corner and a free kick for United in quick succession. Nothing came from either (surprise surprise), but there was a lovely bit of ball control in the box from Ross after the FK. Just couldn’t get it to Sigsworth (who probably would have scored but we don’t need to talk about it)
‘13 - Another potential Ross/Sigsworth link up in the box but Ross just swept it straight into the legs of a Reading player, instead of passing to Jess on her left 🤷🏽‍♀️ I thought she was okay today, so I won’t give her too much grief for that mistake
‘16 - decent chance for Sigsworth, ended up launching it straight at *insert Reading player here.* Foreal, I have no idea who it was. Sorry. Groenen and Zelem both had decent opportunities following this, but nothing came of either of those
‘17 - Another corner for Utd, wasn’t a great delivery to be honest. Was played out and worked back in, LJ managed to get a shot off but sent it behind with a deflection so yet more corners followed. With nothing coming from any of them - this is starting to be a problem. We never challenge from set pieces, and I’m genuinely starting to wonder why that is? Does someone else need to take them? Or what?
There was *a lot* of midfield action around this time, more back and forth, a few fouls, and free kicks. None of this was noteworthy, hence the lack of notes.
‘21 - Amy stop backpassing challenge. I gave Abbie SO much shit for this vs City and Chelsea (as well as vs Spurs, oops), so I guess it’s Amy’s turn now. Sidenote: I think ‘Turner & Turner’ is my fave chant, the original at least. No disrespect to Abbie but seeing Turner x2 at CB on the teamsheet has me like
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‘28 - Earps’ clearnances need work. Like, a lot of work. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m never fully convinced by the ball that leaves her feet, and I don’t think she is either which is an issue 😬
‘29 - GOAL - United. I was literally just making a note on how boring I was finding this game - my highlight by the 28 minute mark was Amy lashing her boot into Tash Harding’s face. Lol. - when Lauren James appears literally out of nowhere and lashes one home. A gorgeous strike, cutting in from the left. This kid is lethal.
‘38 - Today I learned that we really only have one fast defender - Millie. Martha somehow outpaced Amy back with Reading on the break and I think my jaw hit the floor.
‘41 - United have the ball in the back of the net again. Amy got under a well struck free from Zelem and fired it home, but somehow was ruled offside. Clearly this ref and I have very, very different opinions about what the offisde rule actually constitutes, cause she was very much clearly onside.
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Idk if you can see properly in those pics, but no one is offside in any of them. You can see in this video too, that Amy is in fact, NOT offside. I’m not having that one, it should have stood. https://twitter.com/48hours8/status/1223984745413038081?s=21
I just. I’m highkey so annoyed. And I’m definitely dragging this out but like
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Moving on. That concluded a pretty uneventful half, aside from the goal and the offside that wasn’t actually offside.
Halftime:
Reading made a pretty interesting change at the half, subbing Haz off for LMKU. Maybe LMKU offers more of a threat going forward, but I thought Haz was pretty solid in the first half? She was certainly a lot better today than she was in the reverse fixture - she was shredded by Galton on every single run but I didn’t see her do anything like that this time? Anyway. (Also I’m lowkey sad Amy never got to slide tackle her into the middle of next week)
Second half:
‘47 - Quality build up work down the left and a gorgeous ball into the box from LJ, I fortune my it just brushed past Sigsworth and Ross in the 6 yard box/penalty area. So close to a second for United.
‘51 - a pretty poor free kick from Zelem, and a pretty poor decision and back pass from James. Sometimes I wonder if people on this team think about what they’re doing before they do it 🤗
‘53 - decent chance for Reading, which ultimately comes off the back post. United very lucky to get away with that one.
‘59 - Harris was very far forward there for a time. Like in the opposition box forward. Hello, anxiety. Also Amy nearly body checked someone around the same time and I was truly living my best life.
‘61 - Zel with a decent free kick, just couldn’t get the dip it needed to hit the back of the net
‘62 - another good strike from LJ, unfortunately just straight at the keeper.
‘63 - Penalty - Reading. Yellow for Amy for pushing Utland (I didn’t catch who it actually was, but according to Reading’s twitter it was LMKU) and conceding the pen.
‘64 - MARY EARPS SAFE HANDS LET’S GOOOO 🗣👏🏽🔥 What a save, my god. I was sure that was going in, but I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong in my life.
‘75 - another great chance for LJ - a lovely strike, think it could have done with a little bit of a chip, and then surely it was going in. Good work from Jess and Jackie in the build up too
‘76 - ‘82. This is where shit got crazy. And I really have no words for what I saw during this 6 minutes. Well, I do have words - I have a lot of them - but most of them aren’t suitable for this platform so I’ll just keep those ones to myself. Never in all my life have I seen such incompetent refereeing. A free kick awarded to Reading on the edge of the box, due to a ‘handball’ (that didn’t happen) by Lauren James, is cleared and HEADED away by Katie Zelem. The ref then proceeds to book Zelem for handball which, unless she suddenly has a third arm growing out of her FACE (I can confirm - she does not), makes absolutely zero sense, and awards Reading another penalty.
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Jess also managed to get herself booked for questioning the ref’s decision and defending Katie sjsjsj, and not a single Reading player made a claim for that penalty. Surely, if she had handled the ball, every Reading player in the box would have appealed for it? You can clearly see the ball hit her head in the video linked below, but apparently the arm bone is now connected to the face bone, at least according to this ref anyway. 🙄
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https://twitter.com/48hours8/status/1223996019022626821?s=21
I have no more thoughts on whatever happened after that because I had to turn it off before they scored that penalty, otherwise I would have drop kicked my laptop out my window. For what it’s worth, I did think Martha had a decent game today. I still want Smith at RB and Lotta at LB while Amy’s at CB though. You can’t make me change my mind 🤗
This is the third time this week alone that United have been robbed by poor referees, and apparently the ref of the City/Arsenal game today wasn’t much better. I didn’t see that game so I can’t really comment, but I don’t doubt those claims. The standard and quality of refereeing I’ve seen over the past 2 seasons since my introduction to women’s football has been appalling. And it’s not fair, I think this tweet pretty much sums it up.
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The FA has pretty much demanded that every team/club in the WSL be full time, it’s about time that they demand the same qualifications and high quality from their officials, because this just isn’t good enough. And not just from the standpoint of a United fan, and in the context of today’s result, but league wide. It’s just not good enough. I’m completley here for literally everybody calling this shambles out for what it is, and the United girls being salty af on the tl.
Sorry that is this kinda long and ranty, but I’m in my feelings about this ref. ✌🏽
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pksuburban · 4 years
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a little over a year ago, i put out a message on here for anyone (over 18) who was interested in joining a group chat about hockey to message me. a year ago today, i created that chat, and it has been the most welcoming, wonderful, and enlightening group. i’ve grown closer to this group of lovely people, and i honestly don’t know where i would be without them. this group is like family to me, and i don’t say this a lot but i love every single one of them with all of my heart.
without further ado i wanna shoutout:
Annie ( @anzekopistar) - honestly, i was surprised you wanted to join the chat because i thought you were too cool and talented. you still are but i’m so glad you’re in the chat with the california sunshine you bring!
Beth ( @noelacciari) - if your favorite writer was friends with you how would you react? that’s me every time i realize we’re friends. you’re so intelligent and kind. i know you stay busy often but i’m so happy (and sometimes floored) that you’re one of my friends.
Caroline ( @galchenyum) - your hockey takes are always something i look forward to and i wanna travel with you so bad. caro, you always see things others don’t and you are amazingly kind and patient. i adore you.
Cori ( @j0shanderson) - listen. i’ve hyped myself up about march and it’s still about 5 months away. i always love the cbus talk and the pics of jefferson and your nails. you’re so chill and easy to talk to. you’re also kinda like beth in the fact i love your writing and i still can’t believe you wanna be friends with me lmao
Hana ( @mcchickenextramayo) - my number one kuraly stan. i can always count on you to bring me random bruins content but also cursed content. thank you for sending me my charlie shirsey and i haven’t forgotten your funko ;)
Jaymee ( @matesinskates) - our resident australian. snapchats from you are the best because 1) your accent and 2) they probably have your dogs or cats in them. you stay active in the groupchat despite the time difference and that is something i admire. i don’t know how you do it. you are one of my favorite leafs fans
Jaz ( @thiccsidney) - we’ve been longtime mutuals before this chat even started and i’m glad we’ve gotten closer because of it. i enjoy the dog and cat pics and the cursed content. you’re so far away but one day we will meet
Jude ( @holyholtby) - judesssss. as someone in the same field, i feel like you’re kind of like my brother. i want so much success for you and i’m pulling for you so hard. i admire how you stick up for yourself and your beliefs and it’s so great to see how you grow.
Katie ( @cantevenskate) - i always love hearing about you and your dad idk why y’all are just so cute. you’re so strong and funny. i remember we first started talking about a little book store in falls church and now we’re as close as we are. love you tons
Malin ( @theacewayoflife) - our fellow swede who always gives us the european perspective on things. i know most of our time zones don’t line up but i love hearing from you and getting your snaps (especially the snow snaps in the winter). i’m so glad you’re with us and thank you for gracing us with your fantasy nickname: MEAT.
Megan ( @kolyabackstroms) - you’re another longtime mutual prior to the gc, in fact, i think you were one of my original hockey tumblr mutuals. i absolutely adore you and thank you for letting me scream to you about players and rant to you about people. i love your accent and your drunk bathroom videos. i can’t wait to come up to long island and eat a bagel with you
Megara ( @gayjakegyllenhaal) - thank you for taking me up on those st louis tickets! i had such a blast and thank you for getting charlie to get me a puck you’re a real one. like jaymee you’re one of my fave leafs fans. but also wings fan. you’re always serving looks
Rachael ( @thepensieve) - rachael, you’re so inspiring and you study so hard. all of this is going to pay off and i’m so excited to see where it is going to take you. with that said thanks for teaching us some latin and making us laugh at history jokes. you’re so incredibly smart and driven and kind. thank you for the dogs pics and the fat bear updat¿¿es. ily
Sydnee ( @42wallabyway-sydnee) - i am so! excited! for the end of this month! it’s so cool you’re so close and i’m glad we finally got in touch with this chat. thank you for blessing us with pictures of the prophet and your facial journeys. you’re driven and chill with pretty much everything. moving somewhere new is something brave and i look up to you
in the end, thank y’all for answering my message all that long ago and thank you for being one of the most welcoming and warm group i’ve been a part of on here. thank y’all for supporting me and each other in tough times, momentary crises, and our successes. i love y’all so much
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nc-ty · 6 years
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11 Questions Tag
I was tagged by @hydranoel (thank you! ily💟☄💖💓💗☄)
Rules:
1. Post the rules
2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger.
3. Write 11 questions of your own
4. Tag 11 people
My Answers:
1. We are watching a movie together and you’re choosing, so what movie are we watching?
this is so hard slkajsdmvckjn my favourite movie is Peter Pan (2003) but I prefer watching comedies with friends sooo probably some 2 star comedy on Netflix (nothing specific.. just a shitty comedy movie lol) OR if you like musicals then Grease.. and I’ve been wanting to watch the new Kingsman movie but I haven’t had the time so that’d also be nice.. (why do I make answers so complicated wow)
2.You’re in an zombie apocalypse with your bias, so tell me how screwed are you?
honestly the fact that I’m with my bias is entirely irrelevant because I’m killing myself immediately. I have such a phobia of zombies I literally wouldn’t even try so I am 100% screwed and he (the mysterious he, idk who my bias is but he’s screwed anyway) is completely on his own lmao
3.You have to make dinner for your bias group, what are you making?
oooo I can’t really cook so probably spaghetti and meatballs with a tomato sauce or chicken fajitas because those are the only things I can make lol, I think they’d like it though 
4.If you were to have any super power in the world what would it be?
hmm this is hard, maybe invisibility? or possibly the ability to read minds but only by my choice like I wouldn’t just wanna be hearing people’s thoughts all the time.. or teleportation bc i’d just go to random countries for daytrips and then come home to my bed so it wouldn’t cost any money! I think teleportation probably, mind reading would give me too much power
5. You and your bias have to enter a haunted house together, what happens (are they protecting you, you protecting them, both scared shitless, or just laughing at the costumes?)
I think we’re both gonna be scared shitless but he might be more scared than me and then I’d end up laughing at him and then he might see the funny side and we’d end up in a mixture of terror and laughter 
6. Are you a beach person or a mountain person?
beach beach beach ebcahec ahebcabhaeb I fuvking love the beach I wanna live on a beach
7. What has been your recent favorite show or book? (I’m looking for new things to watch or read haha)
hmm my favourite show (not recent but still airing) is the 100 (controversial I know but I love it) and in terms of kdramas the most recent one I watched was Goblin and I loved it!! also a new drama with Lee Jong Suk in it called While You Were Sleeping is currently airing and it sounds amazing so I’m planning on watching that soon (gonna wait for episodes to build up so I can binge lol).. my favourite book recently was the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (10/10 would recommend but is also not recent, just new to me).. sorry this wasn’t v helpful, I haven’t had a lot of time for reading or watching shows recently
8. Your trapped in the last show/book you watch/read, how screwed are you?
well the last show I watched was x factor and that’s pretty gross and I’m tone deaf so I really don’t wanna be trapped in the x factor.. I’m screwed, another situation that calls for me to kill myself, it’s almost worse than a zombie apocalypse
9. Are you a coffee or tea kind of person?
neither I hate them both but I love the smell of coffee
10. What’s a song you have been listening to lately?
here have a list of songs that don’t match and that you didn’t ask for
Hearts Don’t Break Around Here - Ed Sheeran
Subeme La Radio - Enrique Iglesias
Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey
MIC Drop - BTS
I Would - Day6
Don’t Flirt - Winner
Secret - Bobby ft DK and Katie
I Like It - CLC
My I - Seventeen (Jun and The8)
11. If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?
the beach, specifically in Carvoeiro in Portugal (everyone please keep Portugal in your thoughts atm) and it would preferably be early-to-mid July
My Questions:
1. Which kpop artists do you like? (I feel like I actually don’t know this about most people which is strange hahaha like obviously I know your main group but not the whole list!)
2. How was your day today?
3. Do you enjoy camping or is it your idea of hell? 
4. What’s your favourite Disney movie? or just movie if you don’t like Disney for some reason :/
5. If you could speak to animals for a day which animal would you want to speak to and what would you say? (this is a weird question ik)
6. Do you have any hobbies that you love? What are they?
7. What’s your favourite book?
8. Tell me about your favourite outfit pls (pics would be cute if you want!!) and if you don’t have a fave outfit then.. what do your pyjamas look like??
9. Rant about something that pisses you off (I love listening to people rant)
10. You’re trapped on a deserted island and you can bring one kpop idol with you.. who do you bring? 
11. If you had a week to do whatever you wanted with unlimited money and no responsibilities, how would you spend your time?
I tag @jeno-jeyes @kpopmainlizzy @cherry-ten @ytsgf @jaetennys @jjhyunct @reikojinxx and @spookyjaems 💖💖
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zayadriancas · 7 years
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Dnc season 3 thoughts warning spoilers ahead also very long and messy
I want to write my thoughts I have so many That was the most amazing season since season 12 in my opinion I don't know where to begin This is probs gonna be out of order because I watched all 10 episodes straight through no break only paused to type a post a few quick things on here •Maya's plot was by far my favorite I could relate to it so much, the suicide attempt was exactly how I attempted to, I didn't OD as badly as Maya but I took a lot that made me feel sick for days. The scenes with her mom especially where she threw the mirror made me cry. I've had so many similar outbursts like that. And feeling like no one was there for her. I understand why people shut her out, Grace was disturbed by the photos and Zig is basically Esmes property (not talking about the kiss but feels like he's not even allowed to talk to Maya because of Esme smh) I'll get to that later but like I've felt like that too like no ones here for me kike I only have one friend and I know he can't always be here for me but I feel like I'm not important to him and he knows I'm suicidal and depressed and I'll tie in what Lola said that I can relate to SO much, "It's like we have pain but we can't talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable" and I think that's how I make people feel and it sucks. Not that Maya really talked about her pain but she felt like no one cared. She even said "I feel like Tristan's there(hospital) because I exist" after bringing up Cam's suicide and Adams death (so glad they added him in there too because I found it weird that Maya was in a band with him and she wasn't at the funeral/bonfire or even mentioned it before) but anyway like idk where I'm going with this Maya's whole plot this season was so relatable and gave me so much tears The fact that she broke her wrists too omg 😭😭😭 but the most disturbing was the roof scene like the writers said it would be, omfg I'm so glad Esme and Zig found her and saved her I'm glad Katie made an appearance I wasn't ever the hugest fan of her but I'm glad she was there for Maya I already said this earlier but I cried when she performed the song she wrote for Zig And omg the way he tickled her was so cute THEY CONTINUE TO MURDER MY SOUL AMD I CANT BELIEVE MAYA KISSED HIM AND he finally learned his lesson to pull away when he has a girlfriend but he couldn't do that when he was with Maya UGHH I already said this but I hate Zig/Esme as a couple. I would even take Zace over this. She's so rude to everyone and I feel bad for her for what happened to her mom it's so fucking sad and I'm glad they finally told us her backstory. But the way she treated Maya, shay(especially shay but I'll get to that later) Miles, and just how she acts towards people in general. Every time Zesme kisses I cringe. I hate how she bumped Maya on purpose. Like Maya probably wasn't even aware Zesme was an official couple she knew back last season they were hanging out but it's not Maya's fault and I'm just so upset for Maya this whole season. I felt all of her pain She looked so gorgeous though I love her hair and her wardrobe this season •I love that they did a period plot. It's so realistic and relatable. I got my period at school before and bled over the back of my pants and didn't notice till way later and no one told me. Just laughed. Esme was such a bitch about it god when will that girl just shut up. Tiny was so sweet to buy Shay tampons but he shouldn't have given them to her in class lol. But I loved Frankie and Shay being there for each other this season and all their conversations. •Hunters plot I thought was gonna be lame but it actually was so funny. "Let's just agree for now that boners are funny" lmao and "we were gonna watch porn" and them all sitting there awkwardly lol •I normally don't like Zoe but I LOVED her this season and I'm so proud of her for being so confident and being open about her sexuality without caring what anyone thinks. Her and Rasha are great together I love them and I also love the Gracevas renewed friendship. ITS SO FUCKING SAD ZOES MOM KICKED HER OUT I HATE THAT BITCH. I'm so glad Grace is letting Zoe stay with her. •Like I said I loved Lola's line about her having pain but not being able to talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable like I said I can relate so much. I hate myself but I didn't hate Lola/Miles I just wish it hadn't been while he was with Tristan. But I did like their friendship a lot. I also love that Yael and Lola became friends. And I'm so glad they went in depth with the abortion plot it's so important and I'm glad everyone supported her. •Graces plot was so sad but IM GLAD SHE GOT A PLOT ABOUT HER ILLNESS and although it showed her friendship with Jonah it was all from her POV and although I suspect feelings (and I actually do ship them quite a bit tbh the scene on the golf course was so cute) it wasn't all about that it was about Grace choosing to take a chance no matter how risky and trying to live life to its fullest and I am so glad she's become the Grace we know and love this season. It made me sad when she blocked Maya's number but I understand why she did it. •Tristan at the end well throughout the whole episodes typing in his computer was so heartbreaking but I'm so glad he is awake and I'm so glad we got to see his mom finally. TBH the play the acting was so forced and had no emotion it made me cringe but I'm glad Miles told Tristan the truth. And Tristan typing into his computer "can we get pizza it's been 6 months since I've had pizza" omg •everyone there for Maya at the hospital in the end was great too even Zoe and Miles im so glad she has support. When zig said "I told her to leave me alone today" reminded me of when he said "I told cam to go away and he did" but I'm so glad everyone knows it's not their fault. I'm so so relieved and glad Maya's gonna make it and that she's gonna be okay. (Physically I mean) I know mentally it's gonna take time but I know she'll make it through this. •I don't care about Fronah but I feel bad for Frankie. What she did was wrong reading his messages but I can tell throughout the whole episodes especially when she told him in the car she wanted a break she was trying to be mature about it, I think aside from the message reading she handled herself fine throughout everything and as always I loved her friendship moments with Lola and Shay. •Miles's speech at the beginning about wanting to take someone's pain away from them and give it to himself made me cry so hard. As always, Esme pissed me off with how she treated him. Like I understand she was upset by the pictures but she should know better than anyone what it's like to go through seeing someone she loves going through pain and Miles was trying to cope in the only way he knew how. I get the pictures were triggering for the class and i get why it was asked to be turned off but to make him feel bad about it idk where im going with this im tired but anyway the whole thing just made me tear up •The whole zig/Esme sex thing and shit and every time they kissed made me wanna barf. Zig looked so hot though throughout this whole season. IM SO GLAD WE FINALLY KNOW WHERE ZIG LIVES AND OMG SAYING HE DOESNT HAVE A Family made me so sad. And like I already mentioned Esmes past shocked me and I feel so terrible for her. •Maya giving grace her ring I wanted to cry. Also when Grace said Maya was a crappy friend made me feel so upset like I get Maya kept bailing on plans but it was clear Maya was going through something. But it was clear Maya felt bad when she found out what grace was going through. Maya looking at the pics in her room made me so sad. I can't wait until she is happy like that again. She deserves so much happiness and love. •also I hope Jonah gets a plot about being in narcotics anonymous next season I'm glad they gave us something about him like we knew he had drug debts before but I thought they'd never bring it up again I'm glad they did even if it was briefly • shiny was adorable even though they kept fighting but they were able to make up which im happy for aside cuz from Zasha and the possibility of Grace/Jonah happening they are the only canon ship I care about. Well not the only one but the only one I believe will make it at this point I honestly thought Zesme would be done by ep 10 but they're still going strong and next season which is the seniors final season Maya will be recovering and Zig seemed to be over her this season and I just feel so sad I wanna have hope for Zaya but I feel like it's pointless. Of course what's most important is Maya is happy and healthy again and if she graduates happy that's all that matters to me. But Zesme being endgame terrifies me. I mean I love that zig and Maya interacted but zig mostly just seemed so wrapped up in Esme now and he had every right to move on but it still breaks my heart 😭😭😭💔💔💔 Anyway though aside from Zesme this season was amazing, totally amazing and had great plots in every episode and I was so hooked and it was definitely the best Next Class season so far. I can't believe all my faves will be leaving next season😭😭. This season was deff in my top 5 1: Season 4 2: Season 7 3: Season 12 4: DNC season 3 5: Season 11 So yeah I can't wait to see gifs of this season lol I wanna gif but I'm too tired. I wanna screencap but I'm so tired. After I sleep maybe. I'm emotionally drained from that amazing season
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