#why is the word 'gender envy' suddenly everywhere on my dash

[mcrmadness]

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#why is the word 'gender envy' suddenly everywhere on my dash??? #I mean it probably has something to do with the fact that half of the people I follow here are more or less trans #but still!!! I feel like I need to filter that tag TOO soon because I'm getting an overload of that word #it's just something I cannot relate to at all. That's why I started using 'aesthetic envy' instead. #But I also don't understand why people want to look like someone else. Like someone who already exists. #It's so weird? Like... why can't everyone be an invididual and look unique. #I know I definitely hate my looks because thanks body dysmorphia but I also once had a phase when I wanted to look like someone specific. #And it was nuts. I mean... I was not myself. I had so bad depersonalization going on. #I legit thought my whole face was gonna transform into that person by adding a little bit of makeup. And needless to say: it didn't. #And it was very traumatic for me because I just looked even uglier than ever and the dissociation was so bad. #I still don't understand why I wanted to 'look' like that person because wtf they're a PERSON. #Not like an ad from some 'choose your new looks' catalog. A person. And I'm a person. Why would I want to be someone's clone? #I find it extremely weird to think that I'd have a doppelganger somewhere because #1. I don't wish anyone to look like me and 2. I definitely don't want to see a second me walking anywhere because oh boy am I ugly. #I don't want to have a reminder of what I look like irl. Because I look like a monster. #So I hope I don't have a doppelganger anywhere because looking like me would be the worst. Something I wouldn't wish even upon my biggest e #enemy* and ffs I hate this new editor it lets me write longer tags that what it allows #whoops venting but seriously the world is just so weird and I have dissociation #mcrmadness' deep thoughts #idk why I chose the tags instead of writing under a read more link #and now can't copypaste the tags anymore so tags it is

[mcrmadness]

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#I swear if I see the word 'gender envy' one more time on my dash I'm gonna block that tag #or blacklist the word on Xkit even it it means I won't anymore see posts I otherwise would like to see #like idk I just can't take it anymore I have an overdose of that word why is it suddenly EVERYWHERE #it just ruins everything for me now because i'm so FED UP WITH IT #also don't take it personally I just have this happening with words and things and faces and names #this happens every time I'm unwillingly exposed to somethind that doesn't interest me or that I cannot relate to #my brain just absolutely starts hating seeing it anywhere and can't stand it at all anymore. #mcrmadness' random stuff