#why is it so exhausting

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good Morning, World.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #'Good Morning World' because to wwx the jiang household is what grounds him. It is his burrow and blanket. #The familiar soup and banter is his home. The familiar arguments and tension are also his home. #Notice how quickly he throws LWJ to the side once he has JC back in reach! 'He was so boring; I wish *you* were there!' #WWX is very quick to constantly remind himself that he fits within a very specific power structure and role. #He pushes boundaries but almost always only the boundaries that he knows he can push against. #Sitting here now and realizing that if WWX did take life more seriously and act more diligent he would totally usurp JC. #Because the contrast with Them (tm) is wwx is the one that gets in trouble and JC is the one that sticks to the rules. #That responsible appearance especially in contrast is the thin line that holds JC's self-esteem together. #And lets be fully honest. From JC's perspective the last week was also extremely intense and stressful. #It truly was a feat to travel so far so fast despite also being exhausted. Never knowing if it is all in vain. #JC said with his actions 'I would move mountains for you and dig through stone with my bare hands if it meant reaching you.' #and WWX said '[read]' #It's about wwx chronically asking 'why would someone care for me? I'm always tool to be used' than accepting that people love him.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

as someone who rarely listens to music, i am unceasingly in wonderment at the emotional connection many humans have to music as a medium. genres & styles & artists and all that jazz --you guys care a lot about this stuff. i sit marveling at the sheer commonplaceness of people feeling an intimate connection to individual songs & albums & musicians. to the point musical preferences are often considered a meaningful part of one's identity as an individual....thats crazy. so much passion...so much fierceness of feeling ...people say "you have to listen to this song" and i listen for 30 seconds and say "neat!" bc it is, it's neat! the chorus is catchy! i might tuck it away to hum to myself later. but for now im putting my earplugs back in returning to the glorious silence that my essence depends on the same way my lungs depend on an oxygen-rich atmosphere. u beset me with fascination

#me listening to a Certified Jam: i get it now! i get why you guys care so much i understand the Feelings #me 60 seconds later when the chorus is over: ok that's plenty let's calm down with a nice quiet breather #yall are out there just constantly Absorbing Sounds huh #just letting your ears rawdog it when you're not surrounding them with Specific Rhythms And Tunes #u have such rich lives. sounds exhausting but im happy for u

[napping-sapphic]

*gives you a gay little kiss that feels like home*

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #lesbian #sometimes you may see a post from me and go: #why the fuck would she post that?? #and wonder if i regret it #the answer is no <3 #all my posts are bangers😤 #esp this one #and that is NOT the exhaustion and lack of sleep talking #maybe it’s late and i have to be up #in five hours #and i came to the realization that ALL my kisses count as gay little kisses #and had to share that with the internet #okay and it’s a GOOD post😤😤😤😤 #im not gonna see this at a time when im more sane and be like wtf #i’ll see it be like: wow that’s a great post #@ future me: u can fight me on this im right okay #god im so tired

[turtleblogatlast]

Been thinking about how Donnie and Leo’s insecurities juxtapose each other.

Donnie is insecure about his place in the family, but confident in who he is outside of it.

Leo is secure about being a part of the family, but thinks he’s nothing outside of it.

I think it’s a very interesting comparison that reflects their respective personalities, Donnie’s “Will all I have to offer be enough?” versus Leo’s “Do I even have anything else to offer?”

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rise donnie #rise leo #‘I’m not good enough for my family’ versus ‘I am nothing without my family’ #as a middle child they are Very Much Middle Children #willing to bet this is a big part of why they clash so much too #they both have what the other wants #I ALSO think they’re both introverts - yes even Leo - and that social exhaustion makes this all even harder for them #should I also get into how facts and science matter so much to donnie #while leo is into fiction and magic tricks and the like #BUT despite their interests donnie is less prone to suspicion than leo and I think that’s so interesting too #one day I’ll talk about it

[insignificantfailure]

im so fucking useless

#all I do is consume without contributing anything to society #i feel so guilty for eating breathing taking up space buying things producing trash wasting people's time and energy #literally my existence has no meaning #why am i alive #literally w.o.r.t.h.l.e.s.s. #tw depressive #tw depressing thoughts #tw depression #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing #im exhausted #i hate everything #i hate my self #more than anyone else #i dread having to exist #self h@te #i'm sad #mentally tired #vent #venting #personal

[transmascissues]

at this point i don’t even have any commentary to add to this. i’m just tired.

#there was a thread i saw right before this #where a transmasc person was talking about their body and referred to it as having not been female in a long time #and somebody replied saying that they were confused when they read it #because the trans people on their timeline are almost always transfems so they just assumed that person must be too #like even though they were talking about their body in a way that clearly indicated transmasculinity #this person still thought ‘why would a transfem be saying this’ before they thought ‘maybe this person is transmasc’ #some of y’all really do not see us as part of your community at all and it’s exhausting #even to other trans people we don’t exist (unless it’s convenient) #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #transmasc erasure

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

What Is Masking?

Mrs Speechie Pi

#autism #actually autistic #autism awareness month #autism acceptence month #masking #why we mask #examples of masking #masking affects both children AND adults #making can be exhausting #I’ve masked for so long that I don’t even know who I am #I’m sure some of you can relate #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to share/reblog #Mrs Speechie Pi (Facebook)

[crybaby-bkg]

“Oh, my poor baby,” the words are cooed directly in your ear, making you whine as you try to shake his heavy body weight off of you. “This was all you needed, huh?”

Bakugou’s voice is so teasing, so soft compared to the usual growl he holds for you and you only. You couldn’t fucking stand him and his cocky attitude, how he always seemed to undermine you in the field just because you were still a sidekick. When you tried to show him that you were capable, it only backfired more. The thought makes you grit your teeth, your nails reaching back to claw at his nape.

“Fuck you.” You snap at him, hearing him hiss in pain—or pleasure? You could never tell with this freak of a man. Bakugou only grins against your smooshed cheek, letting the heavy weight of his hips push his cock even deeper inside of you. You cry out, eyes clenching shut, whimpering when his hand trapped between your bodies starts to rub your clit in quick circles.

“Such a filthy mouth on ya,” Bakugou huffs a little laugh, nipping at your cheek, pinching your lips together in a pout as he turns your head to face him. He takes you in—your watery eyes, your puffy cheeks, how you still try to frown at him, your downturned brows that quirk up when he slams his hips against you again.

“You’re one to talk,” you grit out, eyes rolling back when he pinches your clit softly between his thick fingers. Bakugou kisses you, finally, more of a smash of his lips against yours, licking at the crevices in your mouth, your teeth, your tongue. He swallows the cry you emit when he pushes you over the edge, doesn’t want anyone to hear how your pro hero boss fucks the brains out of you on his office couch.

“You fuckin’ love it.” Bakugou grins against you, cocky and proud at the way you tremor and shake around his cock. You can only sigh, body falling under the weight of his own as you pat at the hair on his nape.

“Yeah,” you mutter. Bakugou only laughs at you before rearranging you until you’re sitting up with your back against his chest, thighs spread over his, as your head rests on his shoulders.

“Last round ‘fore I have to send you out into the field, rookie. Let’s see how well you perform with my cum still plugging you up.” Bakugou grins, and you catch his reflection in the glass across the room from over your shoulder. He looks wicked, arrogant and full of himself. Secretly, you kinda love it.

#I **** this #why is Words so hard for me now #I think it’s bc the semester is coming to a close so I’m just exhausted #I have another draft I was gonna make for bkg too but I think I’ll change it to gojo #this was supposed to be gojo too but I changed at the last minute LOL #also it’s so hard to type when it’s COLD I HATE THIS #bakugou treats! 🍬 #—new treat in the streets! 🍫

[fucklife101]

No one understands how much I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much I can’t even look on the mirror without feeling absolutely disgusted. I want to die.

#i dont want to be here #mentally exhausted #tw depressing stuff #im losing hope #i hate myself #i want to die #i’m so alone #self h@rm #i hate my existence #mental health relapse #anxi4ty #deppresing quotes #deppresing thoughts #depressing shit #i relapsed again #i want to disappear #tired of life #i hate my body #i hate me lol #i hate me why am i like this

[answer2jeff]

SHARING SPACE — Carmen Berzatto.

synopsis: just a blurb, how you ended up moving in with Carmen :)

warnings: established relationship, reader is implied female (but little use of specific pronouns), fluffy headcanons, some smutty implications, some smutty implications but still fluff, mentions of alcohol and smoking, blurb is set once they're rebranding The Beef into The Bear.

i need more Carmen fluff this man is my whole life. btw this is super short but i'm sooooo burnt out :'(

It started with you "accidentally" falling asleep in his bed from the night before, panicking and hurrying to put your clothes in the morning before he had to rush to work. You weren't technically dating, but you were too close for comfort to be considered something as shallow as "friends with benefits." It was more than that.

But then things seemed to slow down. It turned into spending an extra ten minutes enveloped in each others arms. You shared, "good mornings" between sickly sweet kisses, his hands feeling up and down your torso while your fingers entangled in his hair. Carmen whispered about how much he didn't want to leave—as much as both of you knew he had to.

"You're gonna be late, Carmy." You'd groan, cupping his clean-shaven face and planting small kisses on his cheeks. Carmen let out a sigh of disappointment, realizing his short moment of bliss would be over the second he thought about leaving.

"I'm gonna clean up, 'kay?" He'd mumble, kissing your sweet lips one last time. His pupils dilated at the sight of you in his sheets, something he wish he didn't have to cherish from how little free time he seemed to have.

"Mhm."

Once he'd hop in the shower, you'd get yourself dressed before pouring him a warm cup of coffee, occasionally placing any dirty dishes stranded in the kitchen in the sink as an act of courtesy. You'd check the time, 7:00am,

As much as it pained you to leave without a proper goodbye, you worried that Carmen needed space- that he didn't have time to pepper kisses along your cheeks before he left.

"Bye Carmy!" You'd call out, but not quite loud enough for him to hear from the bathroom.

He wished you would've stayed just a little longer.

Eventually, you caught on. At one point, you swore you saw Carmen popping his head back into his bedroom to see if you were still there as you were already halfway out the door. From that point on, you started leaving little notes next to his coffee, littered with "I'm so proud of you," and sweet comments like, "break a leg Bear," and sometimes even an "I'll see you soon."

Then it turned into spending all weekend, every weekend, in his apartment—even though you'd been stopping by the restaurant between closing hours, and spending a good hour or two with him every other day of the week.

It just wasn't enough.

You started bringing a share-sized blanket and bottles of your favorite drinks whenever you came over, which was practically 4-5 times a week by that point.That blanket ended up rotating between your apartment and his, until it finally resided on the couch.

Wrapping himself in that blanket whenever you weren't around, reminded him that there was something else to think about; that there was someone else who needed him just as much as he did them.

You started leaving little things like your hoop earrings on the kitchen counter, or your puffer jacket on his coatrack, wondering if they'd still be there by next weekend; wondering if Carmen would ever have the heart to give them back to you. (Spoiler alert, he kept everything you ever "forgot"' in the exact same spot. Having a piece of you in his home at all times seemed to make up for your absence during the week, even if it just made him miss you more.)

Then you started packing extra clothes with you that you'd stuff into an empty drawer in Carmen's dresser. You brought your travel-sized, makeup bag with you, which you just ended up leaving in his bathroom. Along with your meds, and your skin care, and practically everything else you couldn't live without.

...

"You should just move in at this point." Carmen let out a breathy laugh as he watched you do your makeup, his eyes meeting yours in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. Not even 20 minutes ago, he saw you pick out an entire outfit from the spare clothes you brought, not even realizing that you left a pair of black shoes that went with everything, right in his shoe rack.

"I practically live here now," you paused to put on some mascara, your mouth gaping open as you tried to concentrate, "but my lease is up on the 23rd." You joked, twisting the cap on your mascara back on and tossing it into your makeup bag.

"I mean—would you want to? Live here? With—with me?" He physically turned to look at you, your reflection not giving him enough clarity. He needed to see you, whether you said yes or no. You felt your stomach turn, and the question seemed unreal.

"I— yeah, I guess. Only if you want me to, but that'd be pretty... cool." You turned your head to face him, gazing into his desperate eyes. He needed to be able to call this apartment "ours," not just "his."

This apartment felt more like a home than you than anywhere else you resided in Chicago. You made your commute to work from this apartment, you ate and showered and slept in this apartment, bits and pieces of you were tossed all around this apartment, you brought home every new piece of clothing and jewelry back to this apartment.

Carmen literally made you keep a spare key in your wallet, advising you to come over whenever you needed something—even if he wasn't home. He trusted you with his space,

He took it upon himself to buy you a toothbrush, the shampoo and conditioner you raved about after he complimented your hair, and extra pads/tampons/menstrual cups (since he wasn't sure what you used,) just for when his bathroom would be occupied by you. He cleaned out the hidden cabinet behind the mirror above the sink, making sure you had a place for all of your things. He moved all of his cologne, deodorant, lotion, etc in the cabinet underneath it.

All he ever wanted was to make sure you felt safe.

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fluff #ugh this blurb is so cute #this took way too long to post idk why #i'm so exhausted i just needed to write something to quench my thirst #jfc guys #i need to sleep #uni is kicking my ass #the bear #i need him biblically

[helyeahmangocheese]

another thing that gets me really emotional about annabeth's adhd in the show is how she so often gets sucked into her own brain, thinking 6 steps ahead, or trying to follow her plan which she has yet to voice out loud, and then unintentionally is a little bit mean on the outside. like, she put percy under the impression that they couldn't be friends because of how she was treating him. she was literally just so in her own head that she didn't notice. she was cold on the bus and snappy on the satyr path because she was working with a lot more context and understanding of the mythical world than percy... which was probably too overwhelming in her own head to sort out and express out loud, too. she was snappy at grover at the arch because they were still trying to find sanctuary from echidna and she was their navigator to the temple. she became conscious of her attitude only after she could somewhat get out of the headspace of navigating. you can SEE on her face that she doesn't even fully understand these moments and that she doesn't mean any harm. you can tell that she was really hurt when percy made that comment about never being friends. if she could control it, things wouldn't be this way, and that's exactly how disorders work.

it's not just some superpower that she can think so quickly and critically--she also pays the price in other ways because this thinking is constant. the reality she experiences is then different from what's going on outside, and that can be so confusing and exhausting to manage. it's a toll on her, and so many of leah's little facial expressions make it easy to believe that annabeth's had her moments of "my brain is broken" too.

#it's such an accurate representation of why expressing our thoughts and feelings is so hard for some of us with adhd & other disorders ! #being inside of my own mind is already exhausting but now I have to translate it and get it out to match the rest of the world now too? #annabeth chase #percy jackson #percy jackson disney+ #idk they're just doing really well on the rep. this is smth I notice with a lot of fellow woc w adhd. if thats u pls allow urself to rest #pjotv #percy jackson live action #percy jackson and the olympians #adhd representation #pjo ep 4

[whump-is-love-whump-is-life]

Screaming.

Please do not do this but I just screamed for 30 minutes so here’s what you should know.

Can’t do it continuously for very long, have to stop to breathe (amount of time and breaths it takes to recover depends on how long you hold it)

It is EXHAUSTING. Seriously, if your whumpee has been screaming for more than thirty seconds multiple times, they won’t have ANY energy to fight back against the whumper. My head was hanging down for a bit because I was just so tired. The exhaustion also caused dizziness when I stood up. Also it’s been around five minutes and my throat still hurts super bad.

Oddly, I could still talk, maybe a bit of rasp in my voice but still effectively and fairly easily. (Again, about thirty minutes with tiny breaks)

Seriously when the exhaustion hits, it hits H A R D

Mouth kinda hurts too tbh

Heart beats pretty rapidly during and shortly after

My head hurts

Both hurts and helps to cough

Update an hour later: slightly hurts throat to talk

Moral of the story:

Don’t scream so much that you exhaust yourself,

Make your whumpee scream to the whumpers content

#my whump #my posts #so yeah #imma bed now #whump #whump community #whumpblr #screaming #whump ideas #whump prompts #kinda #exhaustion whump #update: did it again #because #me = stupid #stomach and throat hurt #mouth hurts too #update much later: throat still a bit sore but I am ok #someone’s going to read my fic and be like ‘why was there so much detail about the screaming tho??’ #and I’m just over here 😀😀😀’YOU MERE MORTAL COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND MY SACRIFICE’

[b0bs0ndugnutt]

Because the “shrodinger’s queerbait” nonsense will never go away, indulge me an analogy (and a long post).

wlw ships are the “made from scratch” cake in a world where we only ever expect cake mix from the box.

Say you have a show where, in the first interaction between a male and female character, there is a red box. It could be a Betty Crocker box of cake mix. Because all it takes is just one smile — one wink — one raised eyebrow— and the fans don’t question it. We’re clearly making a cake here. The box is red.

Meanwhile, you have two female characters building their own relationship that have elements that could build to romance. There are eggs in the fridge. A few more episodes, there’s flour in the pantry. Sugar. Baking powder. Queer fans start whispering…we could be making a cake here. Other fans scoff “you will read into anything. They’re just eggs! Everyone has eggs in their fridge!” Maybe so, maybe not. They are written off as discrete ingredients, nothing to see here.

That red box is still sitting in the pantry. Obviously we’re going with that one, and it’s definitely cake mix. That guy and girl stood next to each other again.

The wlw relationship is now full-on batter. It was a cake recipe all along, but it’s not baked yet. The crowd that wrote off every ingredient is now saying the writers are just going to “squander” that box that could be ready-made cake mix or that they’re being “forced” to bake a cake with the very ingredients the writers deliberately bought and put in their pantry.

Now it’s in the oven, the cake is baking. That crowd will still insist it’s forced, or maybe its actually something else, or it’s rushed, or it’s pandering. Whether the writers painstakingly built a pantry to make the cake they truly wanted or they were cultivating good ingredients and realized they had the fixings for a more decadent cake and went there, it doesn’t matter. It’s still a recipe. One that fans who always have to piece together ingredients had hoped for or saw from the get-go, despite being scoffed at and disparaged. Just because that crowd didn’t see (or refused to see) those ingredients as part of a whole, doesn’t make it any less of a recipe.

And wlw fans shouldn’t have to keep writing essays to demonstrate that the wlw “cake” has all the ingredients every cake mix does, or keep pointing out that fans were ready to believe a cake was being baked when they saw a nondescript box, but that they’ll do anything to discredit or doubt the cake from scratch that’s now cooling off on the counter.

It is partly a function of heteronormativity from the audience in immediately seeing romance in any whisper of interaction between m/f characters and passing off all charged interactions between female characters are sisterly or platonic. And it also comes from writers, who are either being cautious so as not to spook corporate overlords or audiences, or who are preserving plausible deniability.

To take the analogy further, box cake mix is fine! It works! It is, practically speaking, what a lot of folks know by default. I thought I was a Duncan Hines girl once myself. Vanilla cake mix has the ingredients measured out, it’s a safe bet, it tastes like cake.

But it doesn’t mean every red box is cake mix. And it doesn’t make the cake that had to be pieced together from scratch due to censorship, caution, time, narrative build-up, what-have-you, any less of a cake.

#Also this is a pillsbury cake mix hate blog so it doesnt count. The good ones have red boxes. #are we discoursing on this fine evening? Why not. #This could be about literally any wlw ship #but as someone who binged 8 volumes of rwby before 9 and missed all the drama but sees the vestiges of it years later somehow #its wild to me. Because as someone who saw the narrative in one gulp #it is very obvious they have put a lot of love and attention into Bumbleby #anyway this applies to #Bumbleby #korrasami #clexa #bubbline #harlivy #i could keep going #Having to defend a wlw ship like it’s a dissertation EVERY TIME is exhausting #And the fact that wlw fans have been burned before shouldn’t be wielded as a sword and a shield every time a wlw ship is viable

[lottieurl]

me: OF COURSE she ate the ear. what else was she supposed to DO with the ear? bury it? lose a part of jackie when she's already lost almost all of her? this way it becomes a part of her at least, that's more bearable

the cashier in aldi:

#IM SORRY FOR GETTING WHY SHAUNA ATE THE EAR. DO YOU STILL LOVE ME #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets #shaunajackie #shauna #yellowjackets blogging #my god sometimes tagging things properly so i can find them later is exhausting why do i bother

[hood-ex]

Sometimes my mom gives me an idea of what it must be like in Bruce's brain at times.

Going to a job interview, and she's like, "What if this is the last time I ever see you? What if they lock you up in their basement? Give me their names just in case."

Going on a date, and she's like, "What if he's a psychopath who's going to tear off your skin?"

Sleeping longer than usual, and she wakes me up like, "Oh, I just wanted to make sure you weren't dead."

And my response is always, "You need to see a therapist."

#this is why i feel like bruce has contingency plans for stuff bc he's like what if this happens and what if this happens #worrying that much is so exhausting my guy #and also ends up biting you in the ass bc look what zur has done