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#why do they always do that though lmao NO PORN!>
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09 / 2,350 words / sequel to gaz making things sexual on purpose and gaz being jealous
...
Gaz stares at the picture on his phone screen. It's you--a selfie, your tongue sticking out and your free hand flipping off the camera. Even more compelling is what you're wearing: a short, tight, tank top and teeny-tiny shorts. Your makeup is smudged and your hair is messy. You're obviously relaxed, lounging on some couch, relaxed and a little buzzed.
He can hardly pull his eyes away--the way your tank top is stretched tight across your chest, the curve of your neck, the expanse of your stomach, your hipbones poking teasingly out from the waistband of your shorts (fuck's sake), your long, smooth legs. He swallows. Right, there's a text message under that picture, too.
oops ignore me lol. wrong person.
Fuck that. Like he's gonna leave you alone now. He texts you back immediately.
Settling in for the evening, are we? Having a drink?
Your reply comes back a minute later.
jusssst a sip or two. maybe
Getting wrecked, you mean? he texts back.
getting sloshed, you reply. getting wrecked is a different thing lmao
Gaz scrolls back up again to appreciate the picture of you kicking up your feet, looking at the camera with those smudgy eyes. The way your shorts are riding so... so low...
"Fuuuuck me," he mutters, adjusting himself.
He's home, laid back in his leather recliner. The whole team is off duty. He's in London. Soap's in Glasgow. You're wherever you're supposed to be, he presumes. Separate ways until the next mission. 
It's been a week since that night at the bar. Since you went home with Soap. Gaz hasn't spoken to either of you since. That's not unusual in and of itself--you're co-workers, not friends in any strict sense. But damn if it hasn't been eating at him--the way you cozied up to Soap. That picture is the first thing he's seen of you since you disappeared out the door of that bar. And damn if it isn't making his pants feel a hundred times tighter. He only feels a little guilty about it. Not guilty enough to stop texting you, though. And certainly not guilty enough to keep from prying.
He types up a reply: Who's the picture for, then?
But then he deletes it. Too obvious.
Instead, he texts you: Home alone, yeah? Who could blame you for getting a little blitzed?
Your reply: don't judge.
He smirks. He can still wind you up. I'm not judging you. I'm judging your man. If I were in his position, I'd be spending the night with you.
Your reply: don't even start with me.
Gaz texts back: I'm not starting anything. Just saying. You're the one getting wasted and looking for attention, not me. ;) Or do you always dress that way when nobody's around?
what's it to you? you reply.
Just filing some information away for later, he texts.
You text back: is it my job to keep your nasty mind out of the gutter?
You're the one who sent the picture, short stack, he replies. My unclean thoughts are your fault. What would your man think?
It takes a few minutes this time for you to reply. what makes you think i was sending that picture to a dude?
Why else would you let your shorts ride that low? he replies.
oops
Yeah, looks like they want to come off.
what're you implying?
Nothing a gentleman wouldn't imply.
so you're not asking if i slid them off already?
Gaz's smirk deepens. Again, you're making it a bit of a challenge here to keep my thoughts clean.
maybe you should tell me what you're thinking so i can correct your bullshit porn logic.
Maybe you should send another picture as proof you haven't shimmied out of those little shorts yet.
not that you would never ask me to take them off. because you're such a gentleman.
A proper gentleman.
Gaz swallows, his mouth dry. It's half true. In the half-constructed fantasy running through his mind right now, there's certainly no asking involved.
He scrolls back up to the picture again. He leans forward in his chair, staring at it picture. He can't help it. You're smiling devilishly, tongue poking out with the corner of your lip upturned. It would be wiser to change the subject. But he wants to keep going. Maybe he'll ask you if you're up for a phone call. No, a video call.
You in for the night? he texts you.
You reply: thinkin about going out to meet a couple friends tbh.
That gets his attention. He texts back: How much have you had to drink tonight?
just a glass of wine. what are you, the cops?
Gaz isn't buying that. Judging by your selfie--the smudged stains under your eyes and on your lips, not to mention your expression--you've had more than you'll admit.
No, I'm just a jealous friend. You're not really thinking about going anywhere, right? It's late, you're loaded, and the city isn't always the safest place. You understand that, yeah?
Twelve minutes pass with no reply. Gaz shifts, discomfort settling into his bones. The late-evening sitcom he's watching isn't any good; he can't focus on it.
He texts you again. Soap won't like it if you go out by yourself.
That elicits a reply. Barely. 
nah.
Gaz keeps pressing. Bullshit. He'd get protective over you if he knew you were going out and getting trashed.
You reply within moments. and he'd be fine with us texting like this?
Something sharp and unpleasant stabs into Gaz's chest. Why do you have to bring that up? 
But he keeps going. Don't change the subject. You know he only acts that way because he's afraid some jerk like me is gonna try and sweet talk you, right?
lmao whose side are you on?
Both of your sides. He's doing it because he cares about you.
you're projecting.
God damn. He doesn't like that--being called out on his bullshit. Especially not by you. He's supposed to be getting under your skin. Not the other way around.
He texts back immediately. No I'm not. I'm being realistic.
Then he texts again. Even if I were... getting sloshed and sending pictures to guys who aren't him? That's mental.
Six minutes pass. Then your reply comes in. so you don't want another one?
Gaz's heart skips a beat. Then it sinks. You've got him properly by the throat now and you know it.
He can't resist testing the waters anyway. Are you offering?
Your reply oozes smug superiority. you are such a hypocrite. so you're self-righteous up until there's skin involved?
He hates losing an argument. Makes him feel itchy.
You've got the most annoying smirk. Did you know that? he replies.
You text back: so you're still looking at that picture huh ;) check your ego before you try to check mine.
Gaz has to put his phone down and take a deep breath. He's not going to beg, he tells himself. He shouldn't have to. You should be the one wrapped around his finger right now. Shite. Who knew you had it in you to act like such a little smartass? You think you're in a position to make demands and you have the audacity to enjoy it. You're supposed to be squeamish and easy to tease. It has to be the distance and the wine making you think you can get away with provoking him. You're lucky you don't live nearby or he'd be on his way right now. He'd love to show you just how much you're riling him up.
Check his ego, huh? He scoffs.
Then he picks up his phone and texts back: Cocktease.
No reply. He checks his phone a few more times, waiting for your text back. His heart is racing and he's feeling more than a little hot under the collar. After 20 minutes of trying to focus on his shitty sitcom, he lets his head loll back against his chair. He can feign superiority all night and act like you're the one responsible for putting him in this situation. He can fantasize about what you're wearing right now, what you'd sound like if he called you up, what he'd see if he video called you, what he'd do to you if he could. Hell, he'd probably hop a plane straight to you right now if you asked nicely. He stares at the ceiling, trying to clear his mind, but it's hard to articulate what's eating at him.
He opens up his phone again and types another message. Why are you with him, anyway?
He stares at those words, his thumb hovering over the send button. Then he highlights the words and deletes them.
He scrolls up and takes a handful of screenshots of the conversation--even the thumbnail of your selfie. Then he sends them to Soap with a message: Think you need to keep a closer eye on your girl.
Soap texts back a few minutes later. she's not my girl, m8 👀
Gaz rolls his eyes. Soap just has to add fuel to the goddamn fire. He texts: Whatever, dickhead. Just keep a closer eye on her, yeah? Make sure she's not getting into trouble. That's all I'm saying.
Then he texts again, scowling. If she's not your girl, why are you two so cozy these days?
nae my couch she's on
You know what I mean. Just keep an eye on her.
r we having some big feelings rn m8? want to talk about it? lol
Shut up.
aye, feelin some kinda way about it
Keep your bloody mouth shut, yeah? We all saw you take her drunk ass home from the bar. You slept with her.
took her home, aye, to sleep it off
Don't play dumb, that wasn't all you did.
was it not?
You know damn well. What, you're gonna tell me you didn't sleep together? She was all over you at the bar.
she sure was. specially after she saw you eyeing us 😂
Gaz takes a deep breath. Fucking brilliant.
He texts back. Shut it. I wasn't looking.
Soap replies. right on m8, anythin u say. I mean I did take her home. nothing happened but she did try. wanted me to come inside n put her in bed.
So that's all that happened? Is that it? You put her to bed, really? You didn't
Gaz's thumb slips and he hits send prematurely by mistake. He curses.
He quickly texts again: So you took her to bed.
in the literal sense
Bullshit. I know how you are.
sounds like you n her have things to discuss
Shut it. Don’t try and change the subject. This is about you and your dirty intentions.
well if you wanna talk dirty intentions, she send u the pic, not me lol
Gaz is halfway through a too-heated reply when his phone buzzes. Text received. But not from Soap. He swipes back to the conversation with you and, sure enough, you've replied. And what a reply it is.
It's anther picture.
This time, your tank top is pushed up over one breast and your hand is disappearing down the front of your shorts. And the way your face is red and you're biting your lip...
Gas's heart skips several beats. Heat pools in his stomach. He stares at the photo until his vision goes blurry. It has to be bait. A trick. A tease. That’s what you are, right? A tease.
Gaz leans forward again and stares at the picture for a long moment. You're trying to provoke him, right? But what do you want? Encouragement? Jealousy? Do you want to piss him off? He can't figure it out. The uncertainty and desire in his gut are eating him alive.
Another text from Soap snaps forces him to get ahold of himself. He scrolls back to that conversation.
Soap's text: right there w/ u m8. confused as all hell.
Gaz adjusts himself. She knows exactly what she’s doing, he replies.
u sure abt that?
Gaz mulls that over for a moment--while trying to keep himself from swiping back to that second picture--when Soap texts him again. 
seems like a bit of a hot mess is all lmao. u gonna talk to her?
Gaz rubs his temple with his thumb. I don’t know. I need to think about it. She’s been weird lately.
n u haven't lol
At least I can hold a conversation with a girl without it devolving into this.
devolved into somethin tho lol. u wanna send me a couple more screenshots 👀
be a lad
i'd send u mine
Shut your mouth. You know she’s been off. I’m just gonna let her sleep it off. I’ll deal with her later.
oh aye... deal w/ her 👉👌
Gas curses under his breath. His face is hot. His phone buzzes with another two texts from you and he finally swipes back.
gazzy gaz?
never mind, i just finished. going to bed. sweet dreams <3
Oh, so you're playing hardball.
Gaz stares at the conversation for a long moment, uncharacteristically indecisive. You let him assume you were sending dirty pictures to some guy--to Soap. Even made him think you'd be going out to get trashed. Or was that just a lie to rile him up, too? It worked. Made him jealous. You made him feel like a real tool, too, flirting with Soap's girl. You're a little shitheel when you want to be. If he'd only known.
He scrolls back up and looks at the spicy picture you sent him. Your one nipple poking out, your thighs spread around your hand... It's a picture engineered to entice. Cheeky little brat.
He cracks his thumb, thinking about how he wants to handle this. You obviously wanted him to think you slept with Soap. You want him to be jealous, then. You just don't know he's caught you in that little fib. He wants to make you pay. 
He smirks. At least he knows you're in safe for the night. Next time he sees you face to face, it's on. 
Sweet dreams indeed.
...
part 1 / part 2 / [part 3]
579 notes · View notes
icedmatchatae · 1 year
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Good for Me | KTH
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Pairing: Bad Boy Taehyung x Wholesome Reader
Genre: Fluff, Smut, PWP (porn with plot LMAO),
Summary: You went home for the weekend, leaving a pissed-off and bruised-up Taehyung dry and devastated. So what does he do?—follow you home. Insane? Probs, but you’re always good for him so why not?
Warning: OC’s parents are those strict nosy parents who still tell you what to do even if you’re 50 years+, mentions of Christianity hfrowhouw SUE ME, i have no idea what oc and tae are but you know there’s something, mentions of violence, blood, fighting, sneaky sneaky, dom tae x subby reader but tae is needy and whipped for her, he’s just a little shit, tae has a favorite curse word—it’s fuck, TAEHYUNG IS HUGE AND HUNG, aggressive handling (but oc consented), degradation/praise combo, pet names (because I’m a simp), oral (m. and f. receiving), fingering, spanking, tae enjoys seeing oc cry, licking, i think i have an obsession with orgasm control/denial, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, unprotected sex (don’t be like them), cream pie, cum play, the ending though MWAHAHAHAH
Word Count: 7.8k
A/N: I’m adding on for the taewhores and also wrote one lol BLAME THE FUCKING ELLE COVERS BECAUSE THIS SHOT OUT OF MY BLEEDING VAGINA DJDBDBSB I’M REPENTING AFTER THIS also cross-posted on AO3. Posting this at 2AM because that's when the feral wolf comes out :D
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“You know ___, you shouldn’t be going out and partying. What if you do drugs and we don’t know? You know you should focus on yo—”
“Dad, for the last time, I’ve been focusing on my studies.” You rolled your eyes, not wanting a whole ‘nother lecture when you’re here, and you got here today! “I rarely go out too, plus if I do, I know I have to finish my work! You’ve seen my grades!”
“Yes, I know but still. Those worldly activities won’t get you anywhere in life but trouble.” Your dad expressed his continuous concern for you. He can’t help that you were his youngest. “Especially with boys! I mean your sisters have boyfriends but we don’t want that for y—”
“Dad, please. Nothing’s going on with me.” You semi-lied. You pinched the bridge of your nose before you stared exhaustingly at him. “It’s also not fair, but I don’t want to get into that.” You muttered under your breath as your father rested his hands on his hips.
“I’m just worried about you, sweet pea, especially since you’re farther away from us than your sisters were.” He reasoned worryingly. “We rarely hear from you too.”
“Because I’m just tired and I’m usually studying.” You shrugged. “I’m safe, okay? If I’m not, I know to call you or mom.”
“Fine…” He still didn’t look convinced, but it was enough to end it…for today only. “I always pray for your safety regardless. You should get some sleep since we’re waking up early tomorrow for the church fellowship.”
“I still don’t know why you wanted me to come for the weekend.” It was random and unexpected. But your father called you a couple of days back telling you to come back home for the weekend, so as a good and obedient daughter, you did.
“Of course, you needed to come.” He said like it was obvious. “As the pastor of the church and the one who’s hosting it, I’d like all my children to come.”
“But why aren’t the other two here?” You questioned. You haven’t seen your two older sisters yet.
“I mean they live around the area, unlike you since you’re hours away. We figured that they’ll meet us over there.” He responded. 
Great, you were the only one and had to deal with both of your parents for the entire weekend alone. At least your mom was already sleeping, but once she wakes up, it’ll only be twice as worse.
“Alright, well, I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.” You announced before hugging him. “Good night, love you.”
“Love you too, sweet pea, and remember, dear, the Lord is watching.” Your father pointed upwards, indicating the invisible yet existent one. You gulped before nodding obediently and going under your sheets. Before he left your room, he held the doorknob and said, “No boys, and don’t forget to pray!”
“Okay.” You didn’t even bother to look at him as you were situating yourself comfortably in bed. The bedroom lights were clicked off, yet the only light source was your bedside lamp. You heard your door closed shut and the sounds of his heavy footsteps disappeared away from your room before letting out a relieving sigh.
You don’t even know how long you could keep like this. There were many reasons why you wanted to be away for college, and this was one of them. You cheered yourself on right now, knowing that it’s just this weekend and you’ll be back in your freedom in no time.
This was where prayer came in handy, asking for the amount of strength and patience you’ll need with your parents. But it was all interrupted by the blue light and vibrations coming from your phone resting on your nightstand. This sigh you let out was more exasperated than before. You turned your head in that direction. You couldn’t really what was on it at this angle, but you definitely knew who it was.
You snatched your phone to find the 43 messages, 12 missed calls, and 2 voicemails from the one and only Kim Taehyung.
You honestly don’t know how you got into this mess, or how you weren’t able to get him away (probably because you still wanted him to be within reach). But the cycle continued.
It was probably because you were new to that town, having no background about your new hometown, and usually, those who lived there continued to stay there. You were fresh meat. But don’t get it wrong, people were nice and brought you in like you were always part of the community. You found new friends, even living with a girl who treated you so sweetly and caringly. It almost felt like they wanted to protect you from something…or rather someone.
That happened to be Taehyung.
You see here, folks. Kim Taehyung had a…infamous reputation. His name always got a reaction since the day he came into the world. What that meant was people were afraid of him. He grew up as a delinquent, had some family issues, got into loads of trouble, got suspended from school, was shipped to boarding school but got expelled and came back, and even got into countless fights. You recalled someone mentioning he once beaten his teacher up because he got a low grade that he shouldn’t have deserved.
He tended to get what he wanted. It didn’t help the fact that he came from a pretty well-off family, so whatever he did, it didn’t reach the police. Right? Fucking rich people.
Nevertheless, Taehyung’s behavior with or without his familial status was rogue. There have been rumors about him getting into gangs, drugs, you know the typical dark side of society. You couldn’t confirm nor deny it because despite his willingness to tell you, you never wanted to hear anything about it. Ignorance was bliss under this circumstance.
With that being said, when you first came here, you were instantly warned to stay away from him or else…You reasoned with, “or else what?” But then they proceeded to say the same things to you—he was dangerous, he harms others, he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself, if you’re in his way, he’ll wipe your entire existence away, and your life would get fucked up.
You did in fact listen and stayed away. You rarely knew of him or even saw him around, but it was better safe than sorry. Of course, fate begged to differ. 
Oh, that’s right. That’s how you got into this mess. You were partners with him in a general requirement course, and then after briefly talking to him, you realized he wasn’t all that bad.
First off, the dude was immaculate looking, like, who wouldn’t want to stare at his chiseled features? Yeah, he stared intensely almost like he wanted to kill you, but it affected you in other ways. His voice was cavernous and velvet like you wanted him to read the Bible to you.
He looked annoyed, yet he was a chill dude. There you thought—give him a chance and a break.
Oh boy, you thought wrong. So so wrong.
But did you love it? Absolutely.
This was why you needed to repent.
You didn’t even bother reading his texts. You decided to call him and annoyingly sat up from your comfortable position. The call didn’t even ring twice because, after the first one, he answered immediately.
“Petal, where the fuck are you?” He shouted through the phone. You squinted to yourself but weren’t as affected by his tone since you were used to it by now.
“I went home for the weekend.” You simply replied.
“And didn’t fucking bother to tell me?”
“It was a last-minute thing, and it slipped my mind.” You shrugged, then you pulled your blankets off of you to get up and habitually pace around the room while you talked. “Plus, you don’t have any authority to know where I am.”
“I absolutely do have the authority whether you like it or not.”
“Ew, red flag, why?” 
“I need to know if you’re safe.” His voice subsided this time, knowing he was probably pouting yet you couldn’t see it. Okay, this was rather valid since you were associated with the bad boy of the town.
“Well, I am safe. I’m away from school and all of that.” You blushed, feeling the butterflies in your stomach. “I’m with my parents too. My holy parents, might I add.” 
“Right, holy parents and your holy sisters who got married to other holy men.” You could hear the sarcasm leaving his mouth. “Yet there’s nothing holy about their slutty little girl and the man that’s been fucking her to hell.”
“Shhhhh, don’t say stuff like that, Taehyung!” You whisperingly yelled as you stopped your pacing to clench your legs together. You always hated how much of a potty mouth he was. Though you internally loved it. “You know I don’t like that.”
“Come on, Petal. I’m just lightening up my mood, especially since you left me.”
“I won’t be gone for that long. It’s only the weekend, and I’ll be back in no time.” You resumed your pace before standing in front of your window with your back facing it. 
“That’s too long for me to not have you.”
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do!”
“You can come back, Petal.”
“No, I can’t!” You shook your head. “My parents will get mad if I leave, for a boy too.”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to let you take.”
“Taetae, no!” You were trying to stand your ground. You already had four lectures with your parents, you can’t argue with him right now. “I need to sleep, it’s getting late too!”
Though his heart fluttered at the use of the nickname, he was getting pissed off that you weren’t being a good girl for him. “Babydoll, be careful with your words. I’m warning you.” His voice went an octave down, shocking your body especially your cunt. Even hundreds of kilometers away, he had such a powerful effect on you.
“I am being careful! With everything. Now please, I have to get up early tomorrow. Good night, okay Taetae? I’m sorry.” You rushed your words in fear that you were getting too loud that your parents might hear.
“This isn’t ov—” You didn’t let him finish because you decided that this conversation was over. You didn’t want to get into trouble on both ends, but your parents scared you more than him. They’ll probably want to purify you if they found out you were stained by the lustful demon-like Taehyung.
Despite ending the call, here came Taehyung calling you over and over again. You could not be bothered with it, so you settled it back onto your nightstand. You were exhausted, frustrated, and horny, but sleep was above all right now. You had to bite your tongue and go to bed.
You were about to get back into your sheets when suddenly your window from the second level of the house opened, and a gust of wind pushed its way inside. Your head snapped back at the speed of light, then a large palm covered your entire mouth before you could scream your heart out.
Though in low light, your wild widened eyes saw his face.  But what sparked you was his concerning appearance. While disheveled ebony hair was pushed back with little strands falling off his forehead, yet there was a deep cut with dried-up blood around its corners. Hues of purple and yellow covered his rich eyes that gleamed in the night whilst glaring deeply into your soul. The perfect bridge of his curved nose had another pained gash. His ever-so-plumped lips were peeled and split open and the corner of his mouth held bruising. Despite all, he looked so perfect in your dazed eyes.
“Good night, okay Taetae?” At a lower volume, he mimicked your voice at a higher pitch than how you actually sounded. He dropped his hand off of you and started waving both hands around. “Oh, look, I’m ___. I need my rest to go to church with my pastor dad and repent all the nasty shit I do with my Taetae.”
You didn’t even bother to point out how he was inaccurately impersonating you because you were shushing him to shut up. “Taehyung, be quiet. My parents could hear you.” You shook your head, eyes shifting from the closed door to him. Then you realized it wasn’t locked, so you rushed there to lock it immediately. You checked the knob and once it didn’t budge, you peered back at the frustrated man standing tall and intimidating. “How did you even find me?”
“I always find you.” He snorted as his eyes roamed around your childhood bedroom. Very pink with an unhealthy amount of plushies scattered around and you had so many pictures of your family. Not to mention the Bible at your desk. “We also share each other’s location.”
“I don’t even look at yours.”
“That’s your fault.” He retorted back.
“Taetae, you’re all bruised up!” You gasped as you finally saw patches of blood stains on his denim and army fabric jacket. A sleeve was torn and ripped. His knuckles held more bruising cuts and discoloration. You couldn’t even process that he had no shirt underneath because battered markings painted his torso. It wasn’t unusual to see him like this because these things occurred regularly but never made you less at ease. You reached for his hands and inspected for any other cuts and bleeding. “Noo, do you feel like you have a concussion? Is your head also okay? Will you need stitches agai—“
Out of nowhere, his long fingers grasped under your jaw, pulling you closer to his face. His grip tightened, causing you to wince in pain. Dang, he was so furious. Not bothering to answer you, he interrupted your worries. “Now the fuck you were doing, talking back at me and hanging up? You’re not being a good girl right now.”
Though you were in a light panic for him, you didn’t like when he scolded you like that. You frowned profoundly, “I-I’m a good girl, Taetae.” Your cheeks were puffed and squishy, he even struggled to put a hard exterior.
You were always so soft even before him. You didn’t like getting scolded despite hearing numerous lectures from your parents. You always wanted to be obedient to those you loved. 
However, Taehyung’s scoldings hit a little differently.
“Oh yeah, does a good girl leave their man without permission?” Taehyung patronized you, he knew how to get you to fear him. You merely shook your head and apologized, but he wasn’t having it. “Words, Petal. Speak up.”
“No, they don’t. I-I’m sorry, Taehyung.”
He lets out a dark chuckle before he pressed his injured lips to your forehead. They felt soft and warm on your skin. “I don’t think you’re sorry, babydoll. Seems like the bad girl needs to be punished.”
You shook your head, lips pushing out into a pout. “No, please.” You breathed. “My paren—”
Taehyung tutted and rolled his eyes before using the hand that held your face to coerce your head down so you can drop down to your knees. “Kneel before me, slut.”
You whimpered weakly as your knees landed on the ground with a loud thud. Your palmed rested in front of his dirtied boots. Your heart palpitated fast in fear of getting caught, but your mind was preoccupied with the unexpected slap from the man before you.
You bit your lips deeply, trying not to make any more sounds. The tears in your eyes threatened to be released but you also held back by squeezing your eyes shut. More so to not give Taehyung satisfaction. But when you peeled them back open and looked up, it was over for you.
He leered down at you, his stone demeanor expanded by the second. You noticed his naked chest raising harshly from the breaths he took. You immediately felt smaller and smaller the longer you stared at each other in this position.
“Be a good girl and take my cock out”. He commanded as he threaded his fingers through your hair and yanked you closer. “Now.”
You didn’t hesitate any longer. Your trembling hands tugged his belt off. You tried your best to quicken up the pace, but it seemed to hold you back as you struggled with the button pants and zipper. Taehyung noticed too so he fastened his grip on you to tell you to hurry up, making you weep.
“S-sorry.” You apologized quietly but it wasn’t enough for him. Once you pulled his pants down, you were met with a familiar bulge in his underwear. When you freed him, his monstrous dick slapped his toned stomach and bounced before you.
Taehyung never failed to amaze you with how colossal he was. The first time you saw it you wanted to run away, but he caught you and you got hooked. His darkened mushroom head was huge while the base was thick and his curved length was long and veiny. It was the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen and seemed that God blessed him very well. 
Nothing happened between the two of you yet but the slit of his tip pearled fluids. You gawked agape with your mouth parted and tongue swiping your lips. His dick twitched, waiting for you to do something but you were too mesmerized.
Impatiently, using his unoccupied hand, he seized your jaw again, keeping your mouth open. “You’re fucking taking too long.” It didn’t take him long to bring your lips to his cock and push all of him in one motion.
You let out a muffled cry with watery eyes. If the tears fell before, they sure did now.  Your throat muscles throbbed around him from the unexpected slamming.  You gagged painfully, especially since his blunt head hit the back of your throat. Your mouth produced trickling drool all over him and down your chin. You were by no means prepared, but Taehyung didn’t seem bothered as he began his harsh pace.
You held onto his muscular thighs. You were crying so much but your sobs were smothered by the cruel thrusts of his rabid cock. Despite the sting, the actions sent a flood to your thin underwear. The familiar warmth covered your stomach, clenching your thighs together for some pressure on your poor leaking cunt.
“Fuck, Petal. Shit.” He cursed lowly. His cavernous moans echoed through the air. “Look at me.” His order sounded like a threat. He stopped his movements; his cock halfway in your mouth. When you opened your heavy lids, he looked so hot and bothered even in your blurry vision. “My pretty girl.” His thumb wiped off the trail of tears. 
You were always pretty in his eyes, smiling, and laughing, even when you get angry at his annoying ass. But he especially thought you were pretty when he made you cry like this. 
Then he went back to bobbing your head brutally on him. Your nails scratched his thighs, leaving indents on them. You retched again, spit drenching all over him. “Fucking amazing for a slut like you. Is this what you wanted, since you’re a fucking bad girl?”
You wanted to say no, but you couldn’t so you shook your head and whimpered. You weren’t a bad girl. You were good!
You were getting lightheaded, feeling so stuffed to even breathe. Taehyung observed your face getting a little pale. You always forgot to learn how to breathe when giving him a blow job.
He pressed into you once more and a bit longer than usual, so he can imprint the feeling of your mouth again into his spank bank. He ultimately pulled out, leaving a long string of drool from his tip to your crimson lips. His dick covered in your sweet saliva. 
You heaved profoundly and wept here and there. You wanted to tell him off, but you were too scared to say anything. You pushed the tears away with the back of your hand and gulped your words but it pained you to do that.
“God, you’re messy,” He laughed cynically at you. “Aww, you’re upset, babydoll?” He asked condescendingly.
“N-no,” You sniffed, trying your best to be strong. “I’m not.”
“Good, you better not.” He said, letting go of your hair. “Stand up.”
This time you were swift on your feet. Though with painful reddened knees, you stood up wobbly and held Taehyung’s biceps for some support. He hooked an arm around your waist, pulling you to be chest to chest with him. 
Being like this, you saw how he towered over you. The height difference wasn’t compared to a gremlin and the Incredible Hulk but he was still way taller than you. He absorbed your appearance, finally taking in how you wore a cute brown bear pajama shirt and matching shorts. The fresh aroma of roses from your body wash and your natural scent swirling into his nostrils sent his pheromones into a frenzy. He wanted you so badly.
“Are you gonna be a good girl and let me fuck you while your parents are sleeping?” His hot breath splashed your face, fluttering you into submission. You unconsciously nodded excitingly but it caused him to tut at you. “I’m not gonna tell you again. Exact words, babydoll.”
“Yes!” You shouted too quickly that only after you caught yourself, covering your mouth with your palms. He smirked at your reaction—so needy for him. Just the way he loved it. Your hands slowly traveled to his shoulders as you batted your beautiful irises at him. You didn’t like swearing, but it came often when you were with him alone. “Uhh, p-please f-fuck me. I’m your good girl, Taetae.”
The perfect answer.
He bent down to peck the tip of your nose then went further down to lick the trunk of your neck. He picked a spot before suckling around to mark his territory. You mewled at the sensation, slithering your arms around his nape. He began moving towards your bed while you stepped back, following his lead until you fell back onto the sheets of your mattress. Your back rested while your legs hung at the edge of the bed.
Your unapologetic eyes wandered his frame.
He kicked his pants and boots off his ankles, leaving him in only his jacket. But even that, he took off. The faded and lighter scars sprawled his torso, showing evidence of fights and brawls through the years. The fresher wounds battered his rough skin and once you saw gauges wrapped around his right hip with blood patches seeping through, you sat up straight with pupils dilated.
“Taehyung, your—”
“I didn’t tell you to speak,” He growled, and stalked to the bed before pushing your shoulder roughly to lay back down. Your body bounced, trying to process what was happening but he tugged your shorts and panties down and off your skin.
He kneeled in front of you, callous palms spreading your thighs apart to reveal your leaking puffy pussy. He didn’t even touch you and you were this soaked. He inhaled deeply, taking in your sweet essence.
Jesus Christ, you were always embarrassed when he did that. It was like his human nature devolved into animalistic instincts. His mouth had a mind of its own, nibbling your inner thighs and placing even more marks on you like he wanted to claim you. You gasped quietly, jerking a little. So sensitive as always. His thumbs stretched your nether lips apart, revealing more of you to him. The petals of your sex opened for him. Your little hole throbbing around nothing but secreted so much wetness, even spotted your tiny clit inflamed, begging to be touched.
But to your luck, Taehyung wasn’t the type to get on with it right away…well he can, but most of the time, he chose not to. No, sir, he took his time with you, to the point you had to drop your pride and beg. His fingers lightly caressed your sex, enough for you to feel it but do no pleasure.
“Tae,” You whined, hands reaching for him but he swatted them away.
“Don’t touch me, put them on your sides.” He seethed through his teeth.
“But—”
Smack! The slap stung your cunt, making you welp loudly. He does another and your head turned to the side. You cried, pressing your face into your blankets. Taehyung continued hitting your pussy until it was red and sensitive.
“Naughty girl!” He slapped your lips once more, jolting your feeble body. “What’s wrong with you tonight? You think just because you’re with your family that you forgot all the rules we had, hm??”
“N-n-no.” You sobbed, shaking your head cowardly. “I promise I reme—”
A knock came on your bedroom door.
Both of your heads shot toward the direction with wide eyes. Another knock happened again before the person on the other end said, “___?” Another knock. “Sweet pea, I heard noises. Are you good?” Then the fucking knob jiggled, but fortunately, you locked it. “Why’d you lock the door? What are you doing?”
Shoot, it was your dad. Your pastor dad. Now your heart was heavy and dropped down to your uneasy stomach. You needed to say something quickly, but no words came out. You shifted to see Taehyung who shrugged and smirked devilishly, leaving you to fend for yourself. 
It was only until your dad said, “Do I need to use the spare keys to open the door?” That you spoke up.
“No! I’m good, I just…I accidentally dropped my phone on my face.” You lied, praying he’d buy it. 
“You and your dang phone.” He complained through the door. Taehyung’s mouth went wide with silent laughter hearing you get scolded. You pursed your lips, shaking your head. He was no help at all because there was a gleam of mischief and it wasn’t a good sign at all. “You need to get off of that thing, sweet pea. You won’t have enough sleep. Remember you’re joining the praise team in the morning.”
“Yes, dad! I know. I’m sorry to—unghhh.” Your sentence was interrupted by the sudden breach from Taehyung’s two long fingers sliding in so smoothly into your cunt. 
“___? ___, are you okay?” Your dad questioned as he continuously knocked on your door.
It didn’t take long for Taehyung to find your g-spot, curling his fingers to muscle memory. His digits pumped into you, and at times, he thumbed your clit. He had your eyes rolling back and biting your lips to stop your struggling whimpers. “I-I’m f-fine right now. D-d-ahh worry!”
“Are you sure you’re fine? You sound like you’re in pain.”
Taehyung dived into your pussy, taking a long lick before wrapping his lips around your sensitive nub. The tips of his fingers did their magic hitting your insides, playing with the squish of immense ecstasy.
You shrieked involuntarily, fisting the blankets under you as you threw your head back. “Yes, I’m fine!” You groaned distressingly. “I-I’m so…touched by my prayer before sleeping.” You swore faintly when Taehyung suckled and flattened his tongue on your clit.
“Prayer to the Lord is always so emotional, sweet pea.” Your father pointed out, but you really didn’t give a shit. “Alright, don’t want to disturb your time. Hope you get some sleep soon though. Good night.”
His footsteps faded away and you mentally cheered that you didn’t get caught, but you had sudden guilt that you basically spoke to your father with a guy eating you out.
Taehyung released his mouth off you to see how you appeared, crumbling at his touch. Your face wrinkled together with your mouth parted, and you saying his name with your pretty voice had his aching cock twitching. He reached over to the hem of your shirt and pulled it up, revealing your soft bare breasts and hardened nipples. “Such a pretty girl. Touched by the prayer? No, no, I’m the one you should be praying to.”
“D-don’t say that.” You moaned he knew you were very much in tune with your spirituality but he also liked to mess around with you.
“Why, Petal? You don’t like what I say, hmm?” He pouted mockingly, pushing his fingers deeper into you. You gasped, digging your head into the mattress. “I’ll give you everything that you want.” These blankets did no justice, you needed to hold onto him. You put your hand out, silently asking to hold him. Taehyung was mean but he wasn’t that mean…at least not today, so he accepted your request and intertwined his vacant hand with yours.
He felt your cunt getting tighter, understanding what was about to happen. Well, remember how Taehyung wasn’t that mean? That statement was taken back because he said, “Don’t come until I say so.”
You whined, giving your best doe-eyes and pinkest pout. “Please, Taetae. Wanna cum.”
Without removing any touch of you, he stood from his feet before covering your entire body with his large one. His face leaned down until your noses touched. “No.” He simply replied, yet his pace wasn’t slowing down. “Hold it.”
Your eyes twitched, wrestling to keep your orgasm under control. He always loved to play with you like this. You attempted to stabilize your breathing, deep and slow breaths. In…and out. In…and out. Yeah, this wasn’t working when Taehyung’s four-inch fingers were jamming into you. The pressure in your stomach tightened, clenching your abdominals to get your reach. It wasn’t a good girl thing to do, but he was mean!
“Can’t! Please!” You begged once more, knowing it couldn’t be stopped.
“No, be a good girl.”
Sorry, Taehyung but it was too late. Your eyes were already going to the back of your head, and you were prepared for the high of it all. But once you started arching your back, he pulled his fingers and hand away from you. You still had your orgasm but it felt so weak going through it without him helping you come down. Your pussy burned unpleasantly.
He glared at you, watching your lousy orgasm go to waste. All because you didn’t listen to him. But whose fault was that? Taehyung will never take the blame.
Pathetically unsatisfied, you came down and exhaled. It physically and emotionally pained you how shitty that orgasm was. And with a pissed-off Taehyung looming over you, it’ll be torture.
“Bad, bad girl.” Taehyung was disappointed at you, something you grimaced over. “I told you not to but you didn’t it anyway.”
“I couldn’t stop it…” You whispered.
“Couldn’t stop yourself? You really are a fucking slutty bad girl.” Getting slightly self-conscious from his jeering eyes, you closed your legs and covered your chest. Your face flushed with post-orgasm and shame.
Taehyung saw your actions, softening his tough demeanor. He lifted you to the middle of the bed before climbing over your concealed body. At this angle, the moonlight struck his body. Every muscle and indent defined, every wound and bruise visible, every part of him shined so beautifully and perfectly. 
His knees spread your legs open to go in between while carefully pulling your arms off your chest. His face goes down to yours, planting little kisses all over your face in hopes he doesn’t make you feel too bad. “Tell me if I go too far, Petal. Don’t hide from me.”
You shook your head, “You’re not. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’ll be good, I promise.”
You were soooo good to him. He smiled tenderly, pecking another on the tip of your nose before the demon smirk came back. “Then you’re still gonna get it. Get on your knees.”
You nodded and were about to twist your body when Taehyung grasped your waist and flipped you over. He pushed down your back, arching your ass up before landing a loud slap to it. You cried into the pillow, hugging it as if it was like your protection. He slapped the other cheek, receiving another reaction from you.
“Since you’re weak at controlling yourself,” He grabbed his thick length. His head played with you, gliding across the slit and collecting your saturation until he aligned it with your hole. He puts a little bit of pressure, enough to make you moan for more but then stopped. “Maybe I should punish you by giving more than what you can handle.”
That was…even worse. But you had to accept it, so you could be the good girl for him. 
Knowing he could maim you, he steadily filled you up. You felt every inch of him getting deeper and deeper inside, the stretch of your pussy left a dull ache. He held your hips as he guided himself in. Once he bottomed out, the both of you let out a sigh of relief. Every time you do this, it always felt like the first time because of how big he was.
“So fucking tight, Petal.” He hissed. The sensation of you pulsating had his head thrown back.
After a while, the two of you knew it was time for him to move. Taehyung pulled himself back, leaving his head and then piercing back in. You jolted forward, but he kept you firmly to continue his aggressive yet even pace. Each penetration to your spot left you wailing into the pillow, gripping its covers. The slapping of your skin resonated in your childhood bedroom, the only sound that could be heard other than Taehyung’s heavy breathing and your keens.
“This is what you wanted, right?” Taehyung asked lowly before speeding up his movements, making you louder in the cushion. When he didn’t get the answer that he wanted, he looped your hair around his hand and hauled your upper body until your back pressed to his sweaty chest. You winced in pain but you hooked an arm around his neck.
“I want—unggh, y-yes.” Tears fell on your cheeks. Your neck extended to the side, giving him full access to licking and sucking your skin. “A-am I being a—your good g-girl?”
“You’re such a fucking good girl, Petal. Fucking good girl.” He praised you, muffling into your neck. His other hand kneaded your boob, massaging your nipple between his appendages. You groaned at the added touch. The twist in your stomach rose, sensing another high coming soon. Taehyung noticed you tightening around his ramming shaft, so he slid his hand down to your clit and made circular motions. “Cream around my cock again. Come on, pray to me. Bless my name with your sweet sounds.”
“Taehyung, please, please, ahh.” You breathed heavily, bringing your head back to rest on his shoulder. His length ravaged your insides and his fingers pinched your sensitivity until the knot released. You splashed with blistering ecstasy, almost about to scream at the top of your lungs but his palm covered your pitched sounds. You stifled chants of his name with your rolling eyes, even lapping your tongue over his callous. His thrusts slowed down this time, easing you down. He showered you with compliments, kissing your jaw and cheek. 
Once you came back, he took himself out of you to lay you down. He needed to see your face clearly at least once. He grabbed himself and plunged in again. You keened in volume, but Taehyung shushed you. “Babydoll, be quiet. Don’t want your dad to exorcise the both of us.”
You nodded pliantly and slapped hands over your lips. He moved at his previous pace, yet your sensitivity increased after your two orgasms. You were overstimulated but pushed through to help him meet his climax. He handled your hips where it would leave bruises days after. He hunched over to your chest, latching onto your nipple and swirling it with his tongue.
His touch was a mixture of all—needy, urgent, warm, cool, rough, and supple. You loved it all, you wanted more of him. You quivered into your palms, muting the uncontrollable noises escaping you.
He popped off your nub. His thrusts jerked faster and sloppier, recognizing how close he was. His resonant whimpers rung through your ears. It was like his thumb was magnetic to your clit because it was on you again and flicking rapidly. You shuttered, shaking your head at the intensity. It was too much. “One more for me, Petal. I wanna feel you, please.”
Darn, he said please. There was no way to deny him. After four more pumps, he buried himself still. He painted your insides white with his cum, whining your name. Meanwhile, you tirelessly came again. Blinding white spots came into your vision, ringing happened in your eardrums. The feeling of scorching euphoria spread all over your body as you curved your spine. Your hands were replaced with Taehyung’s mouth, sluggishly kissing you and keeping you as quiet as possible but let’s be real.
He kissed your lips once more before scooting in between your neck and shoulder to leave more smooches on your perspiring skin. His cum inside electrified you, feeling it flood around. It wasn’t until his softening dick pulled out of you, that the dam of cum seeped out your weeping pussy.
What an immaculate sight that he couldn’t resist.
Your energy-drained body thought it was over. But Taehyung had other plans because once you felt his tongue on your enlarged overloaded clit, you gasped in shock. “Taehyung, can’t anymore!” Your fingers attempted to push him off of you but you were too helpless and fatigued to overpower his strength.
He tasted the concoction of both of your cum, playing with the juice all over you and his mouth. He was addicted to the taste, vibrating another low moan to your clit.
You begged for him to stop, but he wasn’t going to finish until you came one more time. He lets go hastily and said, “Last one. Come on, Petal.”
Then there was your last orgasm. It was weaker than the previous, better than the first, but the most agonizing one. It burned but was so divine. You shoved your face into your cushion, crying away from every sensation and emotion you felt. 
Taehyung was finally off of you and went up your body to kiss you again. But you were so lethargic, you couldn’t keep up and lay there like a Twinkie. You didn’t even comprehend how he walked out of your bedroom to look for the bathroom, knowing damn well your parents could see him.
But he made it back alive and unseen with a damp cloth to clean you up. He wiped you clean as you stared at him with so much endearment and swell to your heart even after pounding you like an animal.
After he was done cleaning, he threw the dirtied rag to the ground before climbing back in bed and putting the covers over your naked bodies. “You did so good, ___. My good girl, my favorite girl.” He pressed a kiss on your temple before you fell into slumber.
-
“___, wake up! We’re gonna be late!” Harsh knocks through your door disrupted your dreams. You groaned loudly, wanting to go back to sleep. “Sweet pea, get dressed!” It was your mom calling for you. You rubbed your eyes sluggishly in your raggedy state and rolled over. With squinting lids, you searched for your phone to check the time.
You overslept, and you panicked a bit. You kept your cool, it was fine. This was a small bump, but you’ll get over it.
Suddenly, something or someone shifted beside you. You turned your head before you were fully awake by your heart dropping down and coming out of your ass. A peaceful hibernating and naked Taehyung was by your side, cuddling your body. No wonder you woke up with furnace-like heat against you.
Immediately, you shot out of your bed to stand up but you completely forgot that after a night with Taehyung, you become temporarily paralyzed from the waist down. So you stood up and your feeble numb legs made you drop to the floor.
“___, are you awake? I heard a noise.” Your mom questioned again.
“Yeah,” you grimaced at how raspy your voice was. “I-I just woke up, I’m sorry.” You crawled towards the other side of the bed where Taehyung was.
“You have 30 minutes! I told you not to stay up late at night! You know…”
You tuned out her lecture because you were trying to wake Taehyung up in fear that you might get caught. “Taetae, wake up.” You were usually so gentle because it took him a while to fully get up but you slapped the shit out of him.
His eyes stammered open in surprise. He bolted awake and in pain. He was about to yell but you covered his mouth as you stared with alarming pupils. “It’s morning, my parents are awake. I need to get ready and you need to leave.”
“___! Are you listening to me? Do I need to open your door to get you ready?” Your mother complained, trying to open your door but it was still locked. “I’m getting the key—”
“No, mommy!” You protested. Both of your heads directed to the door with widened eyes. “I swear I’ll get ready. I promise I’ll be quick.”
“Okay…I’m almost done with breakfast.” She announced.
You breathed out in relief, knowing you were clear for now. But once you looked over to the naked man still in your bed, you had another morning task to do. “You need to leave. If I don’t come out in five minutes to go get my teeth brushed, my parents will come to get me out.”
Usually, Taehyung would play around, but he knew this time meant business. He nodded obediently. You rolled away to give him some space to get out and gather his scattered clothes. As he was getting dressed, you watched him.
The bruises, the cuts, and that deep wound were all still there. It made you upset, frowning at the mere thoughts of what Taehyung dealt with before coming to see you. You never liked what business or situation he was in, you didn’t know fully but again, just by looking at it, it was not good.
Taehyung detected your staring, but he was surprised at your sad state. “What’s wrong, Petal?”
“I know I said I don’t wanna know what you do, but it won’t change the fact that I don’t like seeing you get hurt.” You explained. “I’m seeing all of this and I’m worried sick, Taetae.”
He sighed, putting his jacket back on then walking over to pick you up on your feet. You used him as leverage. You acted like a baby dear standing on its legs for the first time, making him chuckle at your struggling state but it was too adorable. “I’m sorry for worrying you. You probably wanted to know what happened and I’ll tell you more about it later, but let’s just say I’m trying to get out of the things.”
Your eyes sparkled with joy, “You are? You’re not just saying that, are you?”
He smiled and shook his head, “I’m not just saying that. I’m serious. I’ve been…in it for a long time but I’ve been also wanting to stop.” You nodded understandingly. “Wanna do this for myself, but for you. I don’t want any of them or other affiliations to find you and use you against our will. It’s not easy, hence why I arrived like this, but it’ll come to an end.”
“Okay,” You grinned sweetly before puckering your lips and waiting for him to come.
He leaned down and accepted you, He circled his arms around your body as he kissed you tenderly. He parted away, foreheads touching. “I’m gonna miss you, Petal.”
“As I said, it’ll only be this weekend. I’ll be back tomorrow night.” You reassured but it wasn’t enough to prevent the pout on his lips. “Come on.”
The two of you walked over to the window. He opened the pane as he prepared his descent. His legs were out hanging, his arms and torso still inside your room. You went over to give him one last kiss for his travels back.
“I’ll miss you too, Taehyung.” You giggled, captivating his entire heart.
Feeling overwhelmed with the thoughts and emotions of you, he blurted out, “I love you so much, ___.” It was the first time either of you said it, and he just realized what he said when his eyes grew the size of saucers and stared at him like he was insane. You were a fish, opening and closing your mouth with no words coming out. You didn’t know how to react, but you definitely felt your heart palpitating briskly. 
Before you could finally say anything, he abruptly goes, “Okay, well, yeah bye. See you in psychology class.” He descended as fast as he could, trying to get away as possible. You didn’t even watch him out the window, which was a good thing for him as reached the ground. While walking away, he was mentally screaming at himself and fisting the air at what he did.
-
You were finally dressed and appropriate for church. You fixed the clip in your hair before walking out of your room and down the stairs. Yet your thoughts were elsewhere and about the boy who was in your room not too long ago.
He said I love you. The fucking bad boy of the town confessed his love for you. What the fuck? First of all, you weren’t even together. You didn’t know what you were, whatever. The only thing you knew was that Taehyung would beat the shit out of any guy that came your way. Second, it was an odd choice to say a confession after a sneaky night at your lover’s childhood house with their parents sleeping at the end of the hallway.
Thirdly, you knew what your feelings were but the little shit didn’t give you a chance to comprehend and tell your side. Ugh, now you have to deal with him opening up once you were back in town.
You reached the kitchen, greeting your parents. Your mom told you to take a seat as she prepared a plate for you. She glanced at you, then took another look intently yet you didn’t seem to notice.
Once seated, your father scrolled his phone for news and reread his notes for his sermon. He gazed up at you, then did a double take before raising an eyebrow yet you didn’t see his stare as your mom walked towards the table with your breakfast.
You were too busy looking down at the settled breakfast before to spot the questionable looks your parents made. Once you were about to devour your eggs and kimchi, your dad stopped you. “What were you doing last night?”
You blinked, “I was on my phone late at night, and did my emotional prayer, remember?” Your father hummed, nodding eerily calmly.
Then your mother spoke up as blunt and knowledgeable as she was. “Then why do you have hickeys all over your neck?”
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A/N: There will NOT be a part two :D
All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2023 (。●́‿●̀。)
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jennifer-jeong · 1 month
Text
[Smut] [Xiao x AFAB!Reader] Your First Time
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CONTENT
NSFW, 18+, smut, afab reader (assigned female at birth), no reader pronouns mentioned, virgin Xiao and reader, kisses, handjob, oral, penetration, creampie, Xiao being mildly rough with you but mostly as gentle as possible, CHARACTERS ARE 18+
AUTHOR NOTES
Kinda porn no plot but this should tie into a storyline that I have. Xiao falls for you like he does in this fic that I wrote but there’s some more development before the events in this fic should happen. I might eventually write something short and fluffy about it. Note that in canon Genshin they probably don’t have “boxers” in the modern sense LMAO I just didn’t know how to say “undergarments” without saying “undergarments” LMAOOO
Word Count: 2713
Your first time with Xiao is almost feverish with how much your bodies need each other. You’ve been together for a while now but have taken a long time to get comfortable with each other's touch, Xiao especially. He’s always been scared of hurting you and he’s also just never really understood what it’s like to need to be touched.
You lead him into it after noticing that he’s been struggling with his body’s urges after learning more about humans and how they love. While on a date in the city, he asked you why he sees some couples look at each other intoxicated when they haven’t drunk any alcohol. You answered that humans feel that way when they need each other's bodies. You swear you see a question mark appear above Xiao’s head. “Like… without their clothes on,” you explain further. More question marks seem to appear. “We’ll learn about that eventually, darling,” you reassure him. “You don’t have to understand it right away, it’s something that couples discover together,” You smile warmly at him and he does the same back.
Xiao’s mind may have been confused at the time but after seeing how other couples look at their partners, his body activated in a way he’s never experienced before. He looked at you in your pretty dress, thought about you with it off, and immediately understood.
So here you are, pinning Xiao to the bed and straddling his hips. Your lips are attached to his as his face is flushed a deep red. You have your left elbow propping you up and your right hand caressing his cheek, occasionally slipping into his hair to brush through it. Xiao doesn’t know what to do with his hands or if he’s allowed to touch you so he lightly holds onto your left bicep. His other hand falls, palm up, next to his shoulder. He fidgets with the pillow as he processes the wonderful feeling of your lips against his. You’ve kissed before but it’s never been as heated as this. It’s almost too much for him already, your hands in his hair, your tongue finally slipping into his mouth cautiously so as not to spook him, your hips on his, the smell of your perfume on your neck, and the warmth from your body radiating onto his. Xiao is already painfully hard from this alone and upon noticing, you grind your needy core into his. He lets out a moan into your mouth and surprises himself. His voice came out entirely automatically, like he couldn’t hold himself back when you finally stimulated him. He wasn’t sure how to comprehend what happened, all he knew was that he wanted more.
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. But you trusted Xiao so much and you knew he felt the same way. You felt okay leading him because even though he was having trouble getting the words out, his body did the talking for him, and you could tell it wanted you as much as yours wanted him. You still took precaution multiple times though, asking him if this was okay before leading him to your bed, before laying him down, and before kissing him. He wished there was a better word for him to say than “yes” to explain how much he wanted this but it was all he could manage right now.
You break the kiss to smear your lips on his neck, pecking and asking him if he feels good, breathing in his sweet and lightly musky scent. His hands both reach towards the pillow to grip it as he moans a breathy “yes… thank you.” Your hands sneak up the bottom of his tight shirt to feel his solid muscle and his breath hitches. “You don’t need to thank me, darling” you whisper into his neck. Your hands retract slightly to start to take off his pants. “Is it okay if I take these off?” you say while sitting up slightly. He nods and helps you take them off. You leave his boxers on to help ease him into getting comfortable. You return to straddling him and palm him through the thin layer of fabric and he’s so sensitive he doesn’t know what to do. He moans and his breath quickens. You feel how big he is with your hand and it makes your core clench around nothing. The desire in your core building, turning almost unbearable and burning as you soak through your panties. As you continue, Xiao covers his eyes with his arm as if he didn’t want you to see him like this. You take in how pretty he looks as well as how muscular he actually is. He’s lean but also very toned, his abs evidently solid and chiseled as well as his upper body. You crawl up a little to peck his lips to try and comfort him and explain that since it’s a first for both of you, you’re also flustered. He moves his arm away from his face as you place one of his hands on your waist and the other on your chest. He isn’t sure what to do so you squeeze his hand on top of your chest. He understands and starts to knead your tits while you touch him through his boxers. You start to breathe heavily with him, enjoying the stimulation. Xiao reaches his other hand up, massaging both your tits at the same time, his cock twitching in your hand as he does so. He loves how soft they are, he wonders what they look like uncovered. As if you were reading his mind, you take your dress off to give him more access. You unclip your bra and slowly slide off the straps from your shoulders, holding the cups to your chest still, slightly shy to show him. You’re still straddling him and so he brushes his hands on your thighs to comfort you, and sits up, leaning against the backboard of the bed. “You look so beautiful” he says while looking into your eyes. Xiao might not be experienced with intimacy but he is experienced with you and your emotions, he’s an expert at reading you and comforting you, you love that about him. He puts his hands over yours and rubs the back of your hands with his thumbs, pulling you close to kiss the top of your breasts. It makes you hold your breath. As you breathe out after a pause, you lower your hands and remove your bra. Xiao’s eyes dart back and forth between your face and your chest as he takes it all in. He slides his hands up the sides of your body to grab your tits again. His movements tell you he’s getting more confident.
He ghosts his thumbs over your nipples as you reach down to continue to pleasure him. His hips buck into your touch. As he receives more and more stimulation, his mind gets hazy with lust, his anxiety slowly melting away. He takes one of your nipples in his mouth and you moan. He sucks gently and runs his tongue around the already hardened bud. You take this as a sign to also move further, so you pull his cock out of its fabric restraints to pump it properly with your hand. He moans from the extra contact and his movements falter for a moment. He looks up at you with lidded eyes and you swear you see hearts in each other's eyes. The room feels like it’s burning up and you both love it.
Not soon after, all of your clothes have been tossed to the floor and you’re closing your mouth around Xiao’s leaky tip while he lays down. He’s already a mess because you’ve been licking stripes from the base to the tip for the past minute. You swirl your tongue around him as he can’t help but tug your hair with the hand that he tangled into it. You tease him a little longer before fully deepthroating him. He throws his head back with a moan and bucks into your mouth because he’s so sensitive and can barely control himself. His legs get shaky as you start to bob your head up and down. You move one hand to massage your slick covered clit, unable to ignore the aching need for stimulation any longer and sending vibrations through his body as you moan on his dick. Your other hand reaches to massage his balls and he literally feels like he’s going to die because of how good it all feels. You don’t want to push him too close to the edge yet so you soon pull back. Making sure to leave him well lubricated.
Xiao is already a bit fucked out and doesn’t know what’s happening but he snaps back as he feels your folds on him. You’re hovering above him, angling his dick to your entrance, sticky with arousal. “Mmph- wait, i-is this okay?” Xiao quickly asks as you rub him on your folds. “It’s more than okay, love… I- mmm… need you in me right now,” you slur to him as his tip rubs your clit. Xiao is beyond flustered at your boldness but he still manages to reply, “mmm- t-that sounds so good, darling.” You smile at him and lean down to kiss him before easing your hips down as he bottoms out in you. You both moan in unison as your pussy clenches and his dick twitches. It feels so good it makes your chest tighten. He stretches you out so good and you need a second to get used to his size. He fills you up to your cervix and his girth gives you just the right amount of delicious pressure and pain as you adjust. The ribbed texture of your insides making Xiao dizzy and the veins on his cock making you lightheaded. You lean on his chest to catch your breath and moan into his ear “y’fill me up so good darling.” “F-fuck, it feels s-so good… Your body… You feel so good,” he stutters out to you while digging his nails into your hips trying to control himself. You clench at his words and it drives him crazy. It’s taking so much to not start fucking into you right now. He knows he needs to wait for you to give him the go ahead, but as the night draws on, he’s been getting more needy, more desperate. Your velvety walls sucking him in so nicely, continuously pulling him in deeper. These new sensations are awakening his instincts and it’s so much at once. He loves you so much and knows you feel the same. He can barely get any words out as he’s getting so feral for you.
The moon illuminates your bodies ever so slightly as a warm breeze brushes over your scorching bodies. The only sound other than leaves rustling is your shared panting. The room feels like a sauna and it feels like an eternity before you next speak. Xiao hears nothing but your voice when you look at him with doe eyes and finally say “Xiao… please fuck me.” His pupils seemingly dilate as all rationality disappears. He pulls all the way out and slams back into you, already setting a fast pace. He hugs your waist tight, your chests flush against each other as you rest your arms around his head, pulling at his hair with one hand as he savors the delicious, dull pain. You’re both moaning messes, your hearts beating fast in unison. He continues to pound into you until his legs are burning. You notice his fatigue and decide to tell him to relax as you sit up. He moans at the sight of your naked chest and how your arousal is mixing with his, creating sticky strings on your thighs and where you’re connected. You start to grind on him, feeling him rub at the spongy part inside of you. You tell him to aim for this spot as you point above your core. He nods and breathes out a shaky sigh as he feels his pleasure building. You start to bounce on him with your hands on his chest as his hands find your hips. He loves how your tits bounce while you ride him like this. Your moans sound so heavenly to him and it makes his grip on your waist turn bruising. Your hands on his chest move up to cage his head as you get tired and he understands to start fucking up into you again. His hands find your ass and you moan out a “yes” as he experimentally squeezes it. He fucks you as his hands grip the upper plush of your ass. A few thrusts later and you sob out louder than before and he knows he’s found your spot. Your moans get louder and higher in pitch as he concentrates on fucking you so good you see stars. You’ve been making him feel so good and safe all night and now it’s his turn to lead. You reach a hand down to rub at your clit. “Xiao- mm, I’m g-getting close.” He’s breathing hard and isn’t extremely familiar with this feeling but replies in a breathy voice “m-me too.”
“Please keep going… Ahh- just like that mmmmphh,” you say as your eyes squeeze shut. “Cum with me~ please…” you moan. It feels overwhelming as your core tightens and your body gets even more sensitive to everything. The drag of him along your gummy walls, his hands on your body, the sound of your wet skin slapping together, the repeated stimulation of both your clit and your g-spot. Your orgasm hits hard and sudden as waves of pleasure quickly start to rack your body before you can even tell him you’re cumming. You let out a high pitched sob that quickly becomes uncontrollable moans due to how good it feels. Your walls clench unbelievably tightly around him as he feels your body shake. The squeeze, your moans, your body’s reactions to him, and the fact that he’s making you cum sent him tumbling over the edge with you. His thrusts become irregular as he releases in you, still pounding into you as he experiences waves of bliss. He’s never felt such intense pleasure before and his deep moans are accompanied by whimpers from how good it feels. He whispers praises as he starts to get overstimulated, “so pretty fr’me… love you s’much mmm.” You ride out your orgasms together and you eventually slump against his chest, breathing hard.
You’re both exhausted now and you stay like this for a minute or two to catch your breaths. “Are you okay?” Xiao asks quickly as he comes back to his senses. He’s worried he was too rough with you, especially towards the end. “I’m more than okay, love, don’t worry. That was amazing,” you reply with a sultry voice and a smile. Xiao looks down at you and sighs, he smiles back and agrees “that was pretty amazing… I love you.” “I love you too, darling. I’m glad you had a good time too,” you say, sitting up slightly. You lift you hips to pull him out of you as your mixed fluids flow out of you. Xiao thinks it’s insanely hot. He holds you up and lays you down beside him as he grabs a nearby towel to quickly wipe his abs before the liquids drip onto the sheets. He then gets up to get you a clean towel and wipes you down before helping you to the washroom. He offers you water and leaves another clean towel nearby the bed. You’re already curled up in bed and falling asleep by the time he finishes washing up and climbs into bed.
“Love you s’much” you slur out to him. His heart aches from how much he loves you and he kisses your forehead and tells you he loves you too. You fall asleep with your fists pressed between your chests while he cradles under your head with one arm and holds your waist with the other. Both of you smiling as you drift into sleep together under the moon, resting after the first of many nights like this to come.
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Thanks for reading!
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|| MASTERLIST <3 ||
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l0v3tast3 · 10 months
Note
plz write a lil something for pervy older bf! toji <3
i got halfway through writing this and then decided i didn't like it and started all over so that's why this took awhile lmao but i loved writing this \(≧▽≦)/ i love nasty mean but in a nice way toji he's just so. mwah he's so hot i'd let him mooch off of me
✎ tags: mdni!, smut, female reader, age gap (reader is 18/19 + toji is late 30s/early 40s), public s3x, toys, edging, size difference, size kink, toji records n takes pics of u, praise kink, degradation, toji uses ur underwear as a gag, bondage, overstimulation, lil bit of obsessive!toji
✎ word count: 1.3k words (not proofread)
masterlist | requests
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✧ ˖ ° pervy older boyfriend!toji who takes you out on dates just to show you off. you'll whine about how people always stare at the two of you and give you judgmental looks, but toji just shushes you and tells you to put on a pretty dress.
✧ ˖ ° he always makes sure you get a booth in the back of the restaurant and takes his phone out as soon as you're both seated. dinner always starts with him opening the app that controlled the vibrator that keeps nudging against your clit, but he only turns it on when your server comes to talk to you (unless there's a booth next to you with people in it, then he tortures you with it).
✧ ˖ ° of course toji doesn't make you cum with it, not for the entire time he drags out dinner. "so impatient to leave, do y'not wanna spend time with me, doll? we're havin' such a good time right now! hm, wha'd'ya think, should we get dessert? they have that cake you like, look!" he watches you squirm with a smile, pretending he's oblivious to your little whines and pleading eyes.
✧ ˖ ° once you're finally done he nearly shoves you into the backseat of his car, pulling you over his lap, pressing his hand flat over your back to keep you lying down. your little dress is hiked up and underwear pushed to the side. the vibrator falls onto his lap while he shoves two thick fingers into you, leaning down to speak in a hushed, condescending tone.
✧ ˖ ° "ya just can't shut up, can ya princess? poor bastard had a fuckin' hard-on the second he saw your face. heh, can't blame him, i got such a pretty baby. y'just can't cover up how you're feelin', do i gotta start trainin' you on how to be quiet? that'd be fun, wouldn't it?"
✧ ˖ ° pervy older boyfriend!toji who's camera roll is mostly pictures and videos taken of him fucking you, fingering you, you dressed up for him, you trying to suck his dick... any way he has ever had you, he has something to remember it with (he will literally delete apps to make more storage for you).
✧ ˖ ° he loves it when you get camera shy; he thinks it's adorable and showers you in praise while he tells you to smile around the fingers he shoves in your mouth. whenever you even look like you think the pictures and videos won't look good, he carries you over to the nearest mirror and fucks you in front of it until you admit just how gorgeous you are. it delights toji that that's your biggest problem with it, not that he had unending amounts of porn with you as the star on his phone.
✧ ˖ ° there's videos of everything. his favorites are the ones where you're absolutely brainless, covered in sweat and his cum, your pretty makeup ruined with tears and smeared on the sheets. toji always makes sure his phone picks up the obscene noises of his dick driving in and out of you while you arch your back and weakly press your hands against his abs. "so beautiful like this f'me, all for me, my little girl, y'gonna cum again? fuck- haa, c'mon princess, cum all over my cock, shit! so fuckin' tight, y'look so pretty cumming all over my cock, think this is the best one we got yet!"
✧ ˖ ° pervy older boyfriend!toji who occasionally shows up at your window in the middle of night, jamming himself through it while you're whisper-shouting that your parents are asleep down the hall. he's already got his hands on you, though, and it doesn't take long before he's balling up your underwear and shoving it into your mouth, already having you on the floor so he can eat you out. whenever you get too noisy he'll stop, pinching your thigh or your ass and asking you if you really wanted your parents to find a man the same age as them fucking you with his tongue.
✧ ˖ ° and he isn't nice when he finally buries himself balls deep in you, either. he'll flip you over and lift you by your neck until you're kneeling with your back pressed into his chest. one hand covers your entire lower face, making sure to muffle the whiny moans you can't help letting out, while the other goes down to your clit to rub tight circles into it.
✧ ˖ ° there's always a tiny bit of panic in the way you claw at his unyielding arms because toji always faces you straight towards your door (which, of course, doesn't lock). he finds it just so darling how you lean your head back to look up at him with a mix of worry and overwhelming pleasure. he just grins and coos down at you, patting his fingers against your cheek a little too roughly.
✧ ˖ ° "'s okay sweetie, y'just gotta be quiet f'me, can ya do that? gonna be a good little girl, right? hm, what, is rubbin' your clit too much? i don't care, sweetie, you're gonna take what i give ya. hah, really gonna cum already? pussy's already so fuckin' wet, they're gonna wake up just from me fuckin' ya, princess!"
✧ ˖ ° pervy older boyfriend!toji who practically has you move in with him. he just loves his pretty baby so much, he wants to be around you all the time! he'll keep you for days at a time, making you lie to your parents about being with different friends (he makes you sit in his lap and fingers you while you're on the phone with them).
✧ ˖ ° it's not kidnapping, per say, but every time you mention going home you somehow end up with your hands tied to his headboard. if he suspects you're still even thinking about leaving, he edges you for nearly an hour until you're crying, promising him you won't leave through whines and hiccups.
✧ ˖ ° he'll leave indents of his teeth in your soft skin as he comes up to you, his titan-sized body blocking you from seeing or feeling anything else but him as he starts pushing into you. the smile that spreads across his face when you nearly cum as his balls pressed into your ass is just sadistic, even more so as he watches you squirm and struggle against your bindings.
✧ ˖ ° "aw, poor baby, y'want me to untie your hands? y'wanna touch me? i don't think ya deserve to, y'were so mean, sayin' ya wanted to leave. really hurt my feelings, princess," he says, cupping your face and rubbing the tears from your cheeks. his hips are moving back and forth so slowly, just slow enough that it keeps you right on the edge, and his grin nearly hurts as he looks down at your glazed eyes and bitten lips. "think ya deserve to now, sweetie? did ya learn your lesson?"
✧ ˖ ° toji listens to you babble apologies, "'m gonna be- be good, promise toji- ah-h, promise, i promise, please!" over and over until he decides to take pity on you. he'll draw his hips back one more time being he's slamming into you, sitting up so he can grip onto your thighs as leverage to fuck into you roughly. you're cumming in seconds, body spasming as your eyes roll back and every part of you is overwhelmed by the behemoth of a man using your body as a fucktoy.
✧ ˖ ° he won't stop until you nearly pass out, stuffing load after load of thick cum into your abused pussy and berating you when it spills out. at the end of it all, when he's coming down from his last high and you're coming back to semi-consciousness, he'll kiss your forehead and murmur that he hopes you learned your lesson.
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fredwkong · 9 months
Text
Himbo Maker: Aaron
Aaron could admit to himself that he had always been a nerd. He was smart enough that he had skipped grades through high school and sailed through his degree. Now he was working as a civil engineer. He wore a solid colour button up shirt, corduroy pants, and tighty whities every day, just because he found them comfortable.
As an engineer, Aaron had more than a bit of the tech nerd in him, and he wasn’t immune to the AI craze. When all of his friends on an online forum started raving about some new AI chatbot, Aaron was curious.
Him-br.AI was marketed as an AI chatbot that helped you to make big changes in your life. It appeared to be some kind of self-help assistance bot. Aaron signed up for the free trial and loaded up a chatroom. He didn’t notice that, since he was on the free trial, he didn’t get to decide what the bot would help him to change. After a few seconds of loading, he received his first message from the bot.
Himbo_mkr: Hey bro, what’s up?
Eng-boy: Uh, hi. What’s up?
Himbo_mkr: Bro, I had a sick workout, huhuhu. My muscles are all pumped up and covered in sweat. Hot, right?
Aaron couldn’t deny that did sound hot. His dick chubbed up in his corduroys. This bot sounded a bit like an idiot, but it wasn’t like he was real. Aaron could play along and get off. Tons of guys were probably doing it.
Eng-boy: That does sound hot! Since you’re so sweaty, you’ve probably got a lot of musk coming off your body, right?
Himbo_mkr: Yeah, bro! My hot pits, crotch, and asscrack give off a totally rancid stench, lmao. It gets me hard knowing that I smell like such a man.
It was a bit surprising that a bot could talk about getting hard, Aaron thought, but by now he was getting too into it. He rubbed his bulge through his pants and typed another message.
Eng-boy: Sounds like you’re a pretty dumb muscle bro, huh?
Himbo_mkr: Bruh, I’m a himbo, of course I am! You’re not the sharpest knife either, lol.
Aaron was a bit offended, but then he thought back, and he decided that the bot was kind of right. He wasn’t, like, a dummy, but he wasn’t valedictorian, either. He’d had a solid B average, which had gotten him an okay engineering degree. So he was stuck in a dead-end permits office, whatever. The money was good.
Eng-boy: Guess you’re right, haha. I always thought I could have been smarter.
Himbo_mkr: Bro, why? You’re a proud bro. Brains are, like, your lowest priority, huhuhu.
For an instant, Aaron felt light-headed. He was no… bro, right? But as he looked around the room, it seemed like that was true. His engineering degree was surrounded by pics of himself and his bros partying at school. There weren’t any fantasy novels on his shelf, just gay porn magazines. The sheets on his bed weren’t crisp and fresh, but kind of a sweaty mess.
Aaron scratched under his skinny armpit and sniffed the mild scent he gave off. He had to wear the cords and the button up for work, but he was definitely a bro, through and through, despite his skinny physique. He was kind of a dumbass, but he was good enough at his job, even though dealing with shipments wasn’t exactly what an engineer should be doing.
Eng-bro: Of course, bro. When I’m off the clock, I’m all for the bros. Who needs smarts?
Himbo_mkr: Exactly, bro! Dumb bros like us have no inhibitions and we’re worry free!
Aaron was properly jacking his hard, if average, cock now. He was feeling warm and horny, and thinking about how big this himbo bro’s ass must be. He vaguely remembered something about a bot or something, but he didn’t care.
Eng-bro: I wanna play with your big muscle tits and asscheeks, bro.
Himbo_mkr: That’s so like you, bro. I bet you’re sweating like a pig, too. Your shirt’s probably covered in musky sweat stains.
Aaron looked down and chuckled. The himbo was right again! His button up shirt was soaked through and translucent, showing off his skinny chest. He had yellowing pit stains that were totally dripping with salty, musky sweat.
His whole room stank from all his sweat. In spite of his nerdy stature, Aaron had always had overproductive sweat glands. He’d given up on controlling it in high school, instead choosing to embrace his natural musk. These days, he cultivated it.
Sweat-bro: You know it, bro. Bet you wish you were here to peel it off me, bro.
Himbo_mkr: Strip, bro! Your thick, dumb chest muscles are probably too big for a button-up, anyway.
Aaron started unbuttoning his shirt. It was hard, with his thick, sweat- and pre-slicked fingers. After a moment, he gave up and ripped the shirt open, chuckling, “Huhu, Superman!” as he did. As he peeled the soaked fabric off his skin, it felt like Aaron was seeing his massive pecs for the first time. They were perfectly rounded with big, dark nipples. He rubbed a hand over his sexy musclegut, too.
Himbo_mkr: Don’t forget those giant arms of yours, either.
Aaron paused in the action of licking the sweat off his peaked, solid bicep. He was such a dumbass sometimes, he’d totally forgotten he was in a chat! Hopefully this bro wasn’t too mad.
Sweat-bro: Dude, I gotta take off these cords, they’re getting smelly from all the pre and shit.
Himbo_mkr: Don’t forget to take off your underwear, too, bro! You don’t want it to snap around that dumptruck ass of yours.
It took Aaron several seconds and lying down on his bed to pull off his corduroy pants and tighty whities. The closure was too complicated for his dumb bro brain to figure out, plus his huge ass and thick thighs had been crammed in there like sausage meat. Huhu, sausage. Once he was naked, he started jacking again, his little dick almost invisible in his huge hand. He moaned so loud in his deep, dumb voice that he missed the next notification.
Himbo_mkr: Yeah, jack that big Korean cock. Don’t forget to pay attention to your big bull balls and slutty hole, too.
All the blemishes and acne scars on Aaron’s skin vanished as his skin smoothed out and lightened. His hair turned black and straightened out. His pubes darkened too, growing out into a real forest along to frame his dick and balls. He grunted and groaned even more as he tugged on his balls. He started to bounce his big, jiggly ass up and down to better feel the huge plug filling up his hungry asshole.
Himbo_mkr: You’re wearing a white tank, right, bro? And those slutty little jean shorts are around your ankles with your musky jockstrap as you jerk. And those big, smelly feet of yours. You’re wearing your Converse, right?
As a musky Asian himbo, Aaron always wore a sweat-soaked white tank, which showed off his bulky pec shelf and protruding musclegut. His favourite pair of booty shorts were down around his ankles, along with the jockstrap he’d worn today. Aaron swung his legs into the air to get better access to his hole, showing off his boat-like white high-tops, which were stained with sweat because he never wore socks.
While Aaron kept on jacking off on his unwashed, cum-crusted sheets in his messy, musky room, the Him-br.AI chatroom closed itself. Another window opened an instant later, starting up a video stream. Now anyone on the internet could see Aaron, the dumb, sweaty Korean himbo, pleasure himself and lick up his musk. For a fee, they could even control the size and vibrations of his plug to pleasure his slutty himbo hole.
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Idea with assistance from a bot of my own creation. EDIT: Format inspired by Codename: Bear_mkr by @biggerchanger . Thanks to @imsrtman​ for catching that.
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ceilidho · 6 months
Note
Best friend Johnny who's first instinct when you get a boyfriend is to go down on you/finger you till you're squirmy and crying. Maybe edges you until you agree to break up with the guy.
and if he's TOXIC sends a small video of himself going down on reader or fingering her open. Most of reader is strategically covered by either johnnys hands (or mouth lmao) but based on her voice and Johnny's 'she was mine first' message - the now ex figures it out lmao.
oh I'm screaming at this, anon
Best friend Johnny who finds out that you have a boyfriend (maybe you only just started dating or just made it official or something) and it flips a switch in him.
He's been passively interested in you for awhile now, but because you rarely date, he'd been lazy about it. Content to tease you and leave you on edge, making you sit in his lap when you'd go out with friends, talking on the phone until you fall asleep, licking sauce off the corner of your mouth like the gross degenerate that he is instead of using a napkin - anything to get you worked up and squirming in your chair.
Didn't think he'd have to rush into a relationship or sleeping together just yet because the chase is half the fun for him.
He didn't think you'd actually be desperate enough to go out on a date with someone else, never mind get a boyfriend. At first he feels a bit betrayed, maybe even panicked. You aren't dating but it feels a bit like you're replacing him with another guy. Another man who doesn't feel an iota of what Johnny feels for you, who's only there because Johnny's been taking his sweet time instead of locking you down.
It's okay though; he won't make the same mistake twice.
I have a recurring terrible daydream of you losing your job and Johnny manipulating you into doing porn with him :(( and he promises that no one else will see - it'll just be a couple amateur videos that you'll hide behind a paywall and once you've saved up a nice little nest egg, that'll be it. Except he doesn't make a huge effort to hide your faces from the camera or keep himself from saying your name. In fact, he spends a lot of time filming the two of you just making out, always sloppy and heated.
And he wants to film every single day! It doesn't feel like a proper job where there's a separation between work life and personal life. When you aren't filming, he still wants to 'practice' - eating you out in the back of his car after going to the movies, making you blow him on the couch after you come back from a date. Monopolizing so much of your time that you barely have the energy to go out with your actual boyfriend. But when he makes you sit on his cock while you look over how much you made that month, you can't deny how nice it is to not feel stressed about your finances for a change.
It's horrifically embarrassing the day your boyfriend stumbles across one of your videos, but Johnny's the best at comforting you when you come crying to him. Says all the right things. Has every argument in the world about why it wasn't cheating. Gets mad at your ex on your behalf for scrolling through porn accounts in the first place. He says all of this while not so subtly ushering you into your bedroom.
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radfemverity · 10 months
Text
Liberals will defend absolutely anything. And with the rise of trans and nonbinary identifying men developing more obscure, previously-unheard-of fetishes, we will see truly bizarre cases of abuse that go beyond what our legal framework is designed to tackle.
Nowhere can we see this more than with @nominal.Naomi on Twitter, a TIM who produced milk to feed his partner’s child. He also has posted many photos of said child.
Those of us with commonsense spot the red flags this immediately, but liberals say “Lol how is a parent feeding their child a form of child abuse?” Then we point out he has called his lactation abilities “cow achievement”. And that he has an OnlyFans where he cosplays as a cow. And that he has kinks for cows, milk, and breastfeeding. At the same time, he states that while he is currently feeding the baby through a bottle which he’s already put his milk in, he is hoping to be able to directly breastfeed, nipple to mouth, soon.
Liberals still say “lmao TERFs really believe that a mother breastfeeding her child is abusive.”
Two hypothetical questions for those with that line of thought (‘hypothetical’, because I already know the fucking answers):
1. What are the odds, in your opinion, of Naomi, a biological male with a fetish for cows, milk and breastfeeding, who also calls himself a mother, who already posts photos bottle-feeding and wants to directly breastfeed soon, including this child in his OnlyFans content when he is physically able to do so? Bearing in mind that the aforementioned fetishes he has are already topics of his OF. Would you still say that this is transphobes acting as morality police, trying to prevent a parent from innocuously feeding their child, if videos of said child being breastfed became Naomi’s content? Would you be okay with it so long as the child’s face was blurred and cropped out of the footage? Would you say that it is harmless?
2. Under the scenario that this does happen, is this child pornography? If not, why not? Irrespective of his sex or gender identity, this is what Naomi gets off to. He already makes porn with these themes. If it does constitute CP, how can you safeguard children with the existing legislation? You can’t make photos or videos of breastfeeding illegal. It is a biological function of mothers (actual mothers) – which then leaves the option of criminalising it solely on the grounds of men with fetishes partaking in it. But you thick-as-pigshit liberals have already made men with fetishes a protected characteristic in law. And they can sue you for anti-trans discrimination if you dare suggest that they are involving a child in their sexual fetishes.
I’m sure I will get zero answers of any kind, and liberals will do what they always do which is cycle through the four stages of unrelenting denial, before finally saying “how could we possibly have known that something like this would happen?” “how could this have even been prevented?” and act as if they are hatchlings who cracked out of their eggs into the world yesterday and have no idea how anything works.
Probably shouldn’t mention eggs though, don’t want to give ‘mommy Naomi’ any ideas. God, male sexuality is depraved. They really can make a fetish out of anything. And those of a centre-left political disposition will be right there behind them, cheering them on, ready to shut down any legitimate concerns with the classic line of “how does the way other people live their life have any affect on you? Why do you care?”
641 notes · View notes
yunhoszn · 13 days
Note
(this is user sourkimchi pls don’t perceive me on main lmao)
i saw another user post this abt this hongjoong fit and it’s been living in my head rent free…
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as a fellow asian rave bisexual.. i need a fic for this concept 🫣
(not so) alcohol-free
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PAIRING kim hongjoong x f!reader
WORD COUNT 3.46k
GENRES fluff?﹒smut
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, clubbing scene, reader feels self conscious, mentions of alcohol, strangers to lovers?, ummmmm hardly any plot tbh half of the wc is porn, couch sex, little bit of foreplay (vaginal fingering), some marking here and there i think, cowgirl position, missionary, protected sex, allusions to multiple rounds of unprotected sex, not beta’d or proofread bc we rawdog this shit like men
SUMMARY notorious for canceling plans at the last minute, you finally let your friends drag you out for a night at the club. however, a chance encounter with the prettiest man you’ve ever seen has the night turning to something unexpected.
MORE AAAAAAND i finally finished my first request LOLLLLL here u go yves!! i kinda strayed away from the main idea bc i wanted to make it my own, but i hope this meets ur expectations <3
@atzhouse
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You had a natural affinity for canceling plans at the last minute. You’re not sure why, especially because you always get an awful case of FOMO every time you do. It’s your own fault that you feel left out when your friends get together without you.
No matter how far in advance you plan for the event, you somehow still find a way to lose your motivation to go. You haven’t properly hung out with your friend group in months, so when they start talking about clubbing tonight, you immediately say yes. 
At first, you think you’ll change your mind an hour later, since it’s only an afternoon’s notice. But when you realize your friends will be here to pick you up in thirty minutes and you’re finishing your makeup, you nearly jump for joy. You successfully stuck it out for once. 
Even as you’re sandwiched between Wooyoung and Mingi in the backseat, San in the drivers’ seat and his girlfriend in the passenger, you’re still shocked that this is your reality. You’re actually dolled up and you’re actually on your way to a club right now. 
“Y/N, do you remember the signal if someone hits on me?”
“Wooyoung, no one’s hitting on you.”
“Shut the fuck up, Mingi. It could happen.”
You snort, pulling your skirt down a little. “Woo, we should come up with a signal for if I get hit on.”
“Yeah, Y/N’s more likely to get laid than you are even though she’s bitchless, too.” Mingi nods, adjusting his sunglasses. (You have no idea why he’s wearing sunglasses at 10 PM.)
“Kill your—”
“We’re here!” San announces, effectively putting a pin in any argument that was about to begin. As long as your friendship with the males spanned, he’s always been the mediator. You’ve known the three of them dating all the way back to high school, lumped in the same homeroom your freshman year. The four of you sat in the same general vicinity and got grouped together for a project once and you’ve been inseparable ever since. 
You know you look hot, Wooyoung wolf-whistling at you the moment you started walking towards the car, but you still feel a bit insecure. It probably has everything to do with the fact that you don’t go out much and you’re self-conscious as is. Stepping into the crowded club, a scene that could only be compared to a sardine can, has you shrinking in on yourself. 
Instinctively, you tug on the hem of your skirt to attempt to cover your ass a little more. Then you wrap your arms around your midriff, though your cleavage leaves pretty much nothing to the imagination. You swallow thickly as your trail behind your friends, like a lost puppy with its tail between its legs. 
This is why you always back out of plans. You feel so out of place, like you don’t fit in even when people try to include you. It feels like everyone’s staring at you, waiting for one wrong move so they can point and laugh like you were the butt of some sort of weird joke. You’re ready to go home. 
“Are you okay?” Mingi asks once you’ve settled at an empty high table just a few feet from the dance floor. Through his stupid sunglasses, you can make out the concern on his features. 
“Yeah, I think so,” your lips purse, arms hugging yourself tighter. “I just haven’t been out in so long. I feel… like I shouldn’t be here or something. I’ll be fine. I hope.”
He raises an eyebrow at you, but doesn’t ask any more questions, instead turning to San and his girlfriend who were about to make a trip to the bar. Your poison for the night is simple, a plain margarita that’ll ease your nerves more than anything else. You weren’t much of a beer person, often opting for fruitier, sweeter drinks in comparison to your male counterparts. (When you do go out with them, that is.)
Wooyoung and Mingi fall into a heated discussion about who knows what, leaving you to become a third wheel while you wait for the couple to come back with your drinks. You people-watch to pass the time, chewing on the inside of your lip, your eyes flitting around the club like some kind of guilty criminal. Almost immediately, they land on a guy in the middle of the dance floor. 
He’s hypnotizing, body fluidly moving to the song the DJ’s playing and matching the energy of his friend standing next to him, two girls in front of and facing them. His dark hair falls into his eyes slightly, though parted and styled damn near perfectly. He’s dressed in a black tweed jacket, a white button up left open enough to reveal a couple necklaces resting on his sternum, some ripped jeans, and black boots. But none of that is what caught your attention. 
You’re entranced by his smile, its brightness and how fucking pretty he looks wearing it. You caught the tail-end of something his friend said that made him laugh, and you feel yourself being pulled in deeper and deeper without a single conversation with him. Too bad he seems unavailable. 
“Woah, N/N, might wanna wipe your chin,” Wooyoung teases, a stupid smirk on his face that you want to punch away. “I think you’re drooling a little.”
Mingi howls with laughter, falling onto the table to support himself. He clutches at his stomach as it cramps up from how hard he’s laughing. It wasn’t even that funny. You roll your eyes. 
“Shut up, Wooyo.” 
“Who are you even staring at?” He inquires, resting his elbows on the high top surface, his chin placed on his hands. He blinks at you expectantly, like he’s not letting you off the hook. You avoid his gaze, simultaneously ensuring that you don’t look in the attractive stranger’s general direction either. This all felt so elementary. 
“None of your business.” You murmur, ducking your head. Thankfully, San and his girlfriend return to the table with your drinks perfectly timed, and the topic is dropped completely. 
The first sip of your margarita is damn near heavenly, the alcohol flowing through your system smoothly and calming that storm waging in your mind. It’s not too strong, just enough that another couple drinks would inebriate you entirely. It aids with the anxiety of being in such a packed space, but that feeling of not belonging still sits inside your chest. 
You can’t help but look for the stranger again, who’s no longer on the dance floor. Now he’s on the other side of the club at another high table. His friend is still with him, but the girls from before are nowhere to be found. You focus on his hands and the chunky rings on his fingers, the way he holds his beer bottle, the way his free hand runs through his hair. Your tongue twirls around the straw in your glass out of habit, enthralled by this man who has yet to give you the time of day. 
Except when you glance up to admire his face, you discover that he’s already looking back at you. He’s nodding along to his friend’s words, but his eyes are zeroed in on you, a different kind of smile playing on his lips. Your features fall slightly from being caught red handed, cheeks warming up significantly. You aren’t sure what’s more embarrassing, caught gawking at a stranger by your own friend or by the stranger himself. Truly, the universe was out to get you. 
You down the rest of your margarita and excuse yourself to go to the restroom, needing a second to gather your bearings. Your skin is flushed and you have to hold your cheeks between your palms as you psych yourself up in the mirror. Why should you feel ashamed of thinking someone’s hot? You were only human. Besides, you looked good, too. 
When you exit the restroom, you’re shocked to see the stranger walking out of the men’s restroom at the same time. Your eyes are wide and your body freezes. He gives you that smile from before, ruffling his hair as if this interaction wasn’t difficult enough. 
“I was hoping I’d bump into you,” he says, unabashedly drinking in your figure. “It’s not everyday someone as gorgeous as you crosses my path.”
So he’s a flirt. Noted. 
“I could say the same,” you manage to get out, though your palms are already clamming up. “If fleeting glances across a dance floor count as crossing paths.”
He laughs and you swear it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard. A couple girls come into the hallway, and you maneuver so they can go into the women’s restroom. His hand comes to rest on your lower back when your balance wavers slightly. 
“I’m Hongjoong, by the way,” he introduces himself since he’s in such close proximity to you now. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“Yeah, sure,” you nod, too distracted by how much prettier he is only inches away from you. “I’d like that.”
Hongjoong leads you to the bar, a gentle hand wrapped around your wrist so he doesn’t lose you in the crowd. He orders himself a beer and turns to you to ask what you’re having. While waiting for the bartender to whip up your drinks, he strikes up a conversation. 
“Are you gonna tell me your name?” 
You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. “Oh yeah, sorry… It’s Y/N.”
He repeats it, like he’s testing out the taste in his mouth. The smile that graces his features afterwards says all you need to know. It has butterflies flapping around rampantly in the pit of your stomach, nearly knocking the wind out of you. He thanks the bartender seconds later when he slides your margarita and his beer bottle across the bar. 
“So, Y/N, what brings you out tonight?” He takes a swig from his bottle, one arm leaning onto the surface of the bar. God, the things you would do to him if given the chance…
“Catching up with my friends,” you answer honestly, baby-sipping your margarita through the straw. “I don’t really go out much, because I’m really bad when it comes to canceling plans at the last minute.”
“Should I consider myself lucky then?” Hongjoong quirks a brow, licking his lower lip. If men had anything, it was the audacity. And this man had the audacity to do everything in his power to lure you in with his good looks and charisma. 
“I’ll have you know that this is a one of a kind, once in a lifetime opportunity,” you play along, stirring the slowly-melting ice cubes around your glass. “You’re a very fortunate man.”
“Yeah?” He laughs again and you think you might faint right here and now. He looks off to the other side of the club and then back at you. “I think Prince Charming over there is looking for you.”
He points at the table where your friends are, and you find that Wooyoung is glancing around in search of something, or someone. Namely you. It’s most likely because you went to the restroom and then never returned. He’ll live. 
“Wooyoung? Nah, he’s just being a good friend. I raised him right,” you turn back to him, sipping at your drink leisurely. “Now where were we? Something about you being lucky?”
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“Hwa, I’ll— shit— I’ll have to call you back,” Hongjoong forces out, promptly hanging up so he can focus on putting you in your place. You’re like a damn leech, lips attached to his neck, marking the supple skin like it was your job. Your hands paw at the button of his jeans, your lower half grinding down on his lap. “So fucking impatient. Can’t even wait until I’m off the phone?”
“Want you too bad, Joong,” you pout, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt, his jacket lost somewhere near the front door. He groans when the nickname falls from your mouth. You had no idea how sexy you were.
The two of you were so insatiable, you couldn’t even make it to the bedroom, collapsing on his couch. You hardly had the mind to message your friends to let them know your whereabouts. His hands hold your ass firmly, halting you from any further teasing. You whine, pushing his shirt off of his shoulders. Your nails drag down his toned abdomen, enjoying the way it tenses beneath your touch. After all he’s put you through tonight, you think you at least deserve a bit of payback. Just a bit. 
“Are you too antsy to make it through foreplay?” He coos and presses a quick kiss to your lips, trailing a few along your jawline. Your eyes flutter shut with a hum and a nod. It was true. If he didn’t fuck you soon, you feared you might go insane. 
“I need you inside me already,” you whine, trying to spread your legs and create more friction downstairs. He chuckles at how desperate you are, how touch starved you must be considering you don’t get out much. It fuels his pride knowing he’s the only one to see you like this, to have you like this, for the first time in who knows how long. If he’s successful, maybe he’ll be the only one ever. 
Hongjoong bunches your skirt around your waist, sneaking a hand between your bodies to rub tight, gentle circles into your clothed clit. A blissful sigh escapes you, your forehead dropping to his shoulder. The cocky smile you’ve grown to adore over the course of the night decorates his lips at how quickly he has you falling apart at his fingertips. 
His middle and ring digits push your underwear to the side, sliding down your slit to prod at your entrance. He nips at the base of your throat, working his way up to the spot behind your ear. Your sighs grow into whimpers, squirming around on his lap when he applies pressure to your cunt with the pad of his middle finger. 
“You’re so wet, sweetheart,” he mutters into your skin, shivers running down your spine from the low register he uses. He circles his digit around your hole, not quite giving you what you need. “You weren’t kidding about how bad you wanted me.”
You’re about to quip back, but then he’s inserting a finger and rubbing your clit with his thumb. You gasp, biting down on his collarbone to ground yourself. As much as you would love to sit here and let him finger you until sunrise, you have bigger priorities. “Mmm, Joong, please… Fuck me, please…”
He kisses his teeth, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. He supposes he can satiate your hunger, though he really wanted to take his time with you. “Do you think you can be still while I put the condom on?”
You pull back and nod enthusiastically, sitting on your haunches slightly, fingers locked behind his neck. “I’ll be so good, I promise. I just need you, like, now.”
All he can do is laugh, and you melt into a puddle in his arms. You’ve concluded that smile of his would quite honestly be the death of you. He removes his fingers from your pussy, instead squeezing your hip before helping you onto the couch cushion beside him. You rest on your knees as he unbuttons his jeans and kicks them off, swiftly grabbing his wallet out of his pocket and plucking a condom from it. In the same breath, he’s taking off his underwear and tugging you back on top of him. 
He places the foil packet between his teeth so he can quickly aid you in the discarding of your panties. Now that your cunt is bare, you can feel the heat of his cock and it’s so hypnotic. Your eyes can barely stay open as you watch him tear open the condom packet and roll it on. He’s the perfect thickness and the perfect length, and you feel so special straddling his lap right now. 
Hongjoong kisses you softly, gripping your waist so he can guide you to sit on his cock. The first breach of your entrance has a shaky exhale leaving your lips against his own. You stay like that for a second so you can adjust to the feel of him inside of you, the fullness in your lower half, and overall just how fucking good it feels. He grins when you slowly start bouncing up and down, his dick thrusting in and out under you. 
“How are you doing, sweetheart?” He pecks your cheek, moving downward and reaching behind your back to untie your halter top. It slips off of you with ease, revealing your tits to him. 
“So good, Joong… Feels so good,” you arch into him, whining and moaning every time he brushes that crook in your cunt that has you seeing stars. He peppers kisses all over your chest and sternum, scraping his teeth along the skin of your breast. You whimper, nails sinking into his back and your toes curling. You’re completely aware of what’s going on, but those two margaritas have to be contributing to the pleasure swirling in your abdomen. 
“Yeah? You’re taking me so fucking well,” His eyebrows knit together when you switch your pace, sitting on him fully and letting his cock fill you for a couple seconds. In reality, your knees were starting to ache and get tired, something he recognizes instantly because he was so attentive. 
His hand holds the small of your back and he flips you so you’re in missionary on the couch now without skipping a beat. The change in position allows for a change in angle, his dick dragging against your velvety walls deliciously. Your sounds grow in volume, scratching his back when he pushes one of your knees to your chest. 
You weren’t anticipating to end up here at the end of the night, but you don’t think you could dare complain. While a majority of this night felt like a fever dream, you feel a high that’s never taken over you before. 
Hongjoong’s hair falls into his eyes as he glances down at where your bodies meet, his cock disappearing inside of you and then sliding out with ease. You intertwine your fingers behind his head, pulling him down so you can connect your lips in a fervent, passionate kiss. That familiar summit is within view now, your hand nudging his own to your clit so you can inch closer towards it. 
His thumb swipes side to side on the sensitive bundle of nerves, never once breaking your kiss. There’s so much stimulation going on for you, you’re starting to feel dizzy. In a good way. He’s gentle in a way that’s still rough enough to knock the daylights out of you and the juxtaposition makes the moment all the more enjoyable. 
“‘M so close, Joong,” you arch off the sofa in an attempt to be closer to him, to sandwich yourself between him and the couch. 
His thrusts become faster and more calculated, but he doesn’t break the focus on your clit. His efforts come to fruition and he mumbles words of encouragement for you as you finally reach that boiling point. A strangled moan falls from your mouth and you spread your legs to suck him in further. 
The uncontrollable fluttering of your walls following your climax is almost too much for him and he has to pull out. Your eyes are half lidded, nimble fingers rolling off the condom. He fucks his fist until he’s painting the area between your tits with his cum.
The two of you don’t move right away, regaining your composure. He leans down to kiss you sweetly, and then repeats the action all over your face until you’re a giggly mess. This is probably the best sex you’ve ever had in your life, and part of you doesn’t want to go home— whether that be later or tomorrow morning. 
“Do you have the energy to go again, or should I go grab a warm washcloth to clean you up?” He raises an eyebrow at you, indicating that he’s just joking but he’s totally down if you are. You laugh, running your fingers through his hair. 
“If you give me a minute, I’m all set to do that again,” you start, resting your eyes for a second. “You don’t have to worry about a condom this time. I kinda wanna feel you raw.”
Hongjoong laughs in disbelief, glancing away from you and then letting his forehead fall onto your shoulder. “What have I gotten myself into…”
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© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost. 
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babymtal · 10 months
Text
miguel o’hara x afab!gn!reader smut
the people in my walls told me to write this blame them, not me
↳ warnings: 18+ content, DNI IF MINOR i'll get violent!, porn w/o plot, pussyjob, if miguel big bad boy why so bbg?, reader is mentioned to be smaller than miguel so obv size kink, KINDA sub!miguel but its mostly pussydrunk!miguel, no p in v, not edited as always lmao, this might be rlly bad but oh well blah blah blah you get it
thanks for reading <3 i appreciate any comments, reblogs, and likes! u guys rock my socks off B)
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“A-ah fucking hell.”
His brain was completely hazed as he sat, legs spread out on his large desk chair. His knuckles were white with the harsh hold he had on the tops of your thighs as you sat perched on his lap, grinding your sopping heat against his shaft as your knees squeezed his hips. 
He didn’t know how he got here, shuttering under every jerk of your hips. You just walked into his office looking so pretty and smelling so good he couldn’t help himself. You shushed him softly as he let out breathy moans, throwing his head back against the chair. He could spend every second of the rest of his life like this, he thinks. He didn’t get too far in that thought, though, as his mind reeled back to the situation at hand when he felt your slippery folds rubbing up his cock again.
His bottom lip might be split and bleeding from the painful hold he had on it between his teeth but his care was beyond out the window at this point. “You’re killin’ me here, bebé.” He rushed, chest heaving as he squeezed his eyes shut. You smothered his cheeks with messy kisses, hips rocking slowly against his. The feeling of his thick shaft slipping between your folds, tip knocking into your clit messily before dragging back down had you trembling, the shake in your limbs not seizing.
“God, I can’t-” he began, moving his hands up to cup your hips. You quickly swatted his hands back down to their original spot, clicking your tongue as you halted your movements.
“You can, though.” Your wicked grin as he peered up at you had his rutting his hips up into yours instinctively. You began to strategically grind down harder against his shaft, fingers curling into his thick hair, pulling his head back. The sloppy kisses against his throat had him melting, your heat and slickness the only thought in his head as he let himself relax into the chair. His whines echoed in the air around you as he muttered a quick, “Fuck, fine, fine.”
His chest continued to heave, a pathetic moan ripping from his throat as your hips pressed harder, shorter strokes against his sticky tip. Your clit rubbed against him lovingly, the stimulation nearly bringing the large, intimidating man to tears. The air was suffocating, his eyes drunkenly taking in the sight of your small frame shamelessly humping his cock as the coil in his abdomen began to twist impossibly tight. 
“Gunna fuckin’ cum, fuck- do not fucking stop, coño-” He blabbered beneath you, fingers pressing impossibly harder into the top of your thighs. He thrusted his hips, adding more friction as you continued to gush against his shaft. His everything felt unbearably hot, sweat beginning to form on his hairline as he dug his fangs into his lip, unsuccessfully muffling his continuous grunts and whines as he felt every inch of his body begin to tingle.
The pressure in your abdomen heightened as you began teetering on the edge, moaning shamelessly along with him. A soft, breathy “Mi amor” leaving his mouth is what pulled you under the tide, orgasm completely engulfing you as you shook above him. He sputtered a few praises that fell on deaf, ringing ears as his red, wet tip shot his sticky cum across his abdomen. 
A small, fucked out smile lazily spread on his face as his hazy eyes gazed into yours. His lips quickly captured yours messily, a smile still ghosting on his face when he pulled away.
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onlyseokmins · 2 years
Text
a tiger's dominion [1] • k.s.y.
“Some days you tame the tiger, and some days the tiger has you for lunch.” 
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Pairing: kwon soonyoung x afab!reader
Genres: porn with PLOT (minors dni!), camstars!au, university!au, best friends/idiots!au, goofy comedy, cheesy fluff, a sprinkle of angst
Warnings: cam shows and camera sex obv, swearing, prolly fake myths about sex and stuff idk ignore it for plot pls fdksj, sort of mutual masturbation (m&f), reader wears hoshi's clothes, hoshi regards his viewers as females, pet names like kittens, pussycats, etc., degradation, hypothetical shower sex, mentions of breeding, b00bs <333, WAP lmao, sex toys (vibrator/dildo), fingering, squirting, multiple orgasms, me thinking I'm sooo funny and uhh as always lmk if i missed anything!
WC: 8.5k
A/N: I can't believe this is going to be my hoshi fic debut but that's what it is! Special thanks to marvelous @huiranghaes for reaching out and asking me to join the svthub collab and the lovely mushroom for letting me write in her place (this is for her honestly 🥺), please check out the other incredible works on the masterlists! Also special thanks to my darling bestie wife @onlymingyus for helping w/ the planning details, confidence boosting, and so much more! P.S. there are some fun cameos and crossovers scattered throughout, do lmk if you want in on one in future parts :D
➯ a tiger's dominion ◇ [teaser] ◇ [part 2]
Personal Taglist: @aceofvernons @joshibambi @junhui-recs @httpswonwoosglasses @pandorashbox @rubyscoups @noraehey @charcharfairy @woozluv @hoshistar96
↳ Join the svthub taglist here!
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"Horang-HEY kittens," the man purrs — yes, purrs — voice low and gravelly. It's not a surprise, considering his dick is already out for all to see as he slowly begins jerking himself off. "How're my pretty lil pussycats doing this fine evening? Desperate for me already? Don't be shy 'cause I'm already leaking for you."
You inhale sharply through your nose as comments flash rapidly across the screen. You can practically hear the pings of monetary value that just have to be pouring through even though you're on the other side of the camera. Reminding yourself that this is a recording, you wiggle the mouse and skip ahead.
"Whoa, wait! What are you doing?" A voice screeches in a different register but it's similar enough tone to the one echoing from your speakers.
With a frown, you look down at the hand that shot out to grab your own. It seems inconceivable to think that the tiny fingers over yours are the same ones wrapped around the red, hard cock dripping with pre-cum in the video. Perhaps that's why it looks so... big. It's the only explanation you'll accept.
You regret glancing once more at your laptop's paused screen because the smirk displayed right before it cuts off at the top now plays on the lips of the man sitting next to you.
"You're gonna miss all the good stuff!"
"I'm not missing anything, Soonyoung. You cam and you're a dude. I'm sure there's nothing new here that I haven't seen before."
The silver-haired man gasps, scandalized. "You think I'm unoriginal. Me. 0riginalTiger69? The one and only Hoshi? Hah! What would you know? You said you don't even watch porn."
"I don't. Why would I need to use anything to get off when I can simply turn on the camera and have everyone watch me instead?"
"So you're only horny when you cam? You never, like, do it alone? Watch some things here and there."
"These days? Not really, don't need to."
Soonyoung shakes his head. "Wow..."
"I'm not insatiable, goofball. Sure I watched livestreams when I first started for some inspo but now... well, you'll find out your stamina can only peak for so long."
"I have incredible stamina, thank you very much. My kittens love it. Salivate over it. Something you'd know if you watch any of my videos."
"Which I'm not going to," you sigh, "and you did not just say kittens with a straight face. I'll find it super amusing if you're still able to go at the same pace you are now some time down the road."
"They're my lovely kittens and don't worry, I'll be sure to keep you updated." His eyes narrow. "You know, you're awfully calm about finding out how your best friend is a camboy."
"Compared to you, yes." Referring to his call at three in the morning, shrieking in your ear that he finally connected all the dots. "You'd be surprised how many familiar faces are scattered throughout the community."
"How many do you know? Have you watched their shows?"
You throw your hands up in the air. "Omigod, how many times do I have to say, I don't watch porn! I make it!"
"Okay, okay." Technically, Soonyoung should know better than to rile you up with long nails waving dangerously close to his face. But he still presses on. "All I'm saying is that you're insanely chill about all of this."
"Bestie, we've been at this since you knocked on my door at ass 'o clock."
"It was only ten!"
"You know I don't wake up before noon!" You take a deep breath. "What's even the point of all of this?"
Soonyoung's brown eyes dart across your room. Taking in the expensive tripod and lighting setup at the desk to the strange, almost clinical, neatness of the rest of your bedroom. How easily he believed when you said it was an investment to perfect your scholarly presentations. Silly. Now it all made sense. He waves his phone with your Svthub profile on display.
"Do a collab with me."
"Huh? … What? Nah. No way. Nuh-uh."
"Just hear me out," he leans in close causing you to scoot your chair back. "My kittens have been begging me to collab with a certain Tigress."
"Ew, don't say it like that."
Hearing it out loud certainly has a much higher cringe value than seeing it typed by faceless viewers or saying it in the privacy of your own room. Alone and too turned on, well-immersed in your role. It's even worse when it comes out of your best friend's mouth. 
"Sorry, should I say Miss TigerLily_61596 instead? Hm. Isn't that my birthday?"
"Oh, it is!" You pray and hope he doesn't notice you lying through your teeth. "The computer somehow generated it, how funny is that?"
Soonyoung pouts. "You use that for all your passcodes." To prove his point, he picks up your phone lying between the two of you and unlocks it easily with the pin of 61596 as expected. "See? Knew it. Hao says that isn't a good cybersecurity measure, you really should be more careful. Remember his lecture? Always use protection!"
You snatch it back. "Leave me alone. It's not like everyone knows your birthday!"
"I'm announcing it on my next stream."
"Do it, you won't."
"I will!"
"Wait, don't. That's a serious security concern, you idiot. Everyone just wants to see you jerk off anyways, nobody wants that personal stuff unless they're creeps. Which you do not want."
"I don't," he acknowledges, "you've been doing this for a while, right?"
"Yeah. Two and a half years soon."
"Wow. Perfect! You should do something big as a celebration. Like collaborating with me."
"Why are you so hellbent on this?"
"Look. Everyone tells me we'd look great together — which is true — but I had no idea how to work up the nerve to send a DM to Miss TigerLily_61596 and propose such an idea. Until! I find out my bestie is the famed Tigress herself! Plus… I have a few experiences here and there."
"So you're using me," you cock your head, "and I don't do collabs. It only attracts potential weirdos into wanting to reach out and I've finally curated a steady, safe viewer base that I'm not looking to change. And what's this about experiences?"
"I'm not using you!" Soonyoung chews on his lip. "And that's another story for another time. It was only an idea, really… I get it. It's not like you wanna fuck me either."
"I don't," you affirm. "Besides, you're going to have to talk to Yuna about the whole camboy schtick, and then you want to try and explain that you had sex with someone who just happens to be me, your bestie? That's not gonna fly so don't drag me into it."
"Probably not a good first date discussion but," he laughs, "I'm sure I'll figure it out. She doesn't seem too judgy. After all, she agreed to go out with me next week."
"Congratulations!" You pat him on the shoulder and stand up, needing to take a step back from his proximity. The sudden suffocation of being wrapped up in his presence can be a little too much. "Forget all these camming shenanigans and just focus on her. This is your chance. You've had a crush on her for months now, can't afford to mess it up."
"Yeah, well." He scratches the back of his neck. "I think I'll still keep camming. Svthub's payoff is great and well… I'm afraid I'll wear her out too much if not."
"Huh? Are you… talking about… sex?"
"Duh. I wasn't lying earlier, I have a mad stamina game."
You pinch your nose when he smirks. "I don't think that's what she'll complain about."
"You don't get it. It's why all the other ones broke up with me."
"That is so not true," you argue. "Chaewon said you talked in your sleep too much, Seoyoon complained that your ego was inflated to max capacity, and Eunhye was tired of you bringing up tigers to get out of every serious conversation! And don't even get me started on what your roommate complains about."
Soonyoung sulks. "Gee, they really confided in you. Okay, sure —  maybe that's all true but I also get told off for having too high of a sex drive."
"Sounds like a 'you' issue but maybe that'll be humbled in a couple months or so. Not my problem."
"Well, maybe you can help me resolve it… if we did a collab!" He chuckles in mischievous glee when you throw a ball of socks at his head. "Just kidding, unless?"
"Get out, you heathen!" You shriek. "Get out before I throw my hair dryer at your head next!" His laughter fades out as he escapes into the hallway. "The world will have to tip over and break off its axis before I fuck you, Soonyoung!"
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Apparently, the world did decide to fall apart on you specifically, the universe playing a losing game of monopoly with your life, and whatever godly figures cruelly laughing in your face. Giving you a major middle finger and mocking you relentlessly. You watch the raindrops trickle down the window of the passenger side, similar to your tears that threaten to break loose at any time.
Soonyoung periodically glances at you as he drives, worry wrinkling his brow. "You doing okay?"
"Do you think I'm okay?" You hiss out although he doesn't flinch, knowing you're not pissed at him, per se. "I'm soaking wet, I have no car now, and I could barely pay the towing fee because I just submitted my final tuition and the rest of my stupid bills! This fucking sucks."
"I could lend you some mon — "
"I don't want anyone's money. I was doing perfectly fine until this utter and complete bullshit of a disaster."
It's silly because even though you're seething in well-deserved anger, Soonyoung can never understand how you manage to look so radiant. You're acting like a bedraggled cat about to claw someone's eyes out and yet you wear the fierceness so well. It has always suited you. Though he feels bad about the shitty situation you're now in, he can't help but crack a small smile.
"Okay, don't threaten me right now because I'm driving — which I'm more than happy to do for you any time, anywhere — but you'll also die if you attack me. So… about that collab?"
"Kwon Soonyoung." It's true. He's lucky he wasn't behind the steering wheel of a transportation vehicle or you would've thrown something at him with the rage circulating in your entire cell system. "I swear to the high heavens — "
"Just hear me out. I did the math — "
"Oh no."
He sighs your name. "I thought about the math and there's a good chance we'll make at least more than double what we would by ourselves. You know how Svthub caps us out with how many solo streams we do per month. But. If you did a few in addition to our collab, you could easily make up for what you had to spend today."
He wasn't wrong. While it was nice that Svthub had policies in place to prevent its camming community from making an unfair and absurd amount of money, it was already halfway through the month. You had successfully hit the average amount you usually do to comfortably cover the routine bills and expenditures. But even if you were lucky to max out, it would not be enough to pay for the unprecedented car repairs — or even worse, another vehicle. And though Soonyoung and your friends were more than happy to drive you around, you still wanted to give them gas money or offer to buy lunch despite their protests. 
You're quiet in deep contemplation the rest of the short drive and Soonyoung's surprisingly patient. You frown when you realize he's parked outside of his new apartment complex. 
"What're we doing here?" 
He shrugs. "It's closer and I'm worried you're gonna get sick if you don't change into something dry soon. You can even stay the night. Besides, Hoon's either locked inside his studio or not home at all. You know how he's been disappearing lately." 
"Maybe he found a significant other." 
"Jihoon? Lee Jihoon? We talking about the same dude that runs away from human interaction like it's the plague?" He pauses in thought. "But he basically just lets me live here by myself so maybe you're right… " 
"It's possible if he found 'the one.'" You make air quotes and then sigh as you eye your best friend's much nicer building through the sheets of rain. "Maybe I should move back to the dorms." 
"Please don't. I swear Chan was experiencing a second-hand high when he came to practice last night. Certainly smelled like it." 
"Just 'cause he was a little uncoordinated doesn't mean he was high. Heard he went out drinking beforehand anyways." 
"Guess I should be pushing them harder," he mutters and you can't help but shudder at his darker tone. 
"Chill out, Mr. Captain. You'll make them cry again." 
Soonyoung was a loud, irritating but loveable goofball day-to-day. Yet when it came to his team, he was a different beast. Firm, strict, and often harsh enough that a few of his younger members have come whining to you. As if you could do anything. It's sometimes hard to picture him as anything else but squishy and sweet, especially when he takes off his jacket to wrap around your shoulders. 
You don't dare to let your mind wander about what he's like during sex. 
"I haven't made anyone cry. Yet." 
"That's because the last thing they want to do is come crying to you. Especially when you were the cause of their tears." You tug at the lapels of the jacket around your body. "Thank you but I didn't need this, I'm dripping wet."
"That's what she said!"
And just like that, he's got you rolling your eyes with his toothy grin and boyish laughter that's muffled once you get out and slam the car door shut. He calls your name to no avail and surrenders to chasing after you. Finally catching up to your fast-set pace because you're stuck waiting for the elevator, Soonyoung nudges your side teasingly. Despite the initial complaint, his jacket is pulled tight over your damp clothes that easily catch the intense breeze of the lobby's air conditioning.
"Can't say I'm not funny."
"It's called 'acting like a child'. I didn't want to ruin the inner side of your nice jacket."
"Hey, it's not a big deal. I'm just trying to help my bestie out. You were shivering and I don't want any perverts eyeing my girl's assets."
You scoff. "Worry more about your own assets, like, don't look now but the receptionist is so checking you out."
An idiot never changes their ways because Soonyoung does look. 
Shooting a lazy smirk that has the poor woman nearly fainting on the spot at the sight. You don't blame her. At least it's easy to ogle him when he's turned away, white t-shirt that's now soaked easily sticks to his well-defined upper body. A delicate silver chain lays against his collarbones while droplets anyone would die to catch with their tongue slide from his jawline down to his neck. You lick your lips the same time he does before he's running a hand through his silver bangs and sending a wink her way. 
So, you punch him. In the abdomen. Lightly. 
Even though he yelps in pain, you're sure your knuckles hurt more from his stupidly ripped abs. You shake out your wrist as you enter the elevator with Soonyoung two steps behind.
"I told you not to look." 
"Telling me to not do something only tempts me to do it even more." 
"Noted. And in that empty brain of yours, don't forget that you have a date," you remind him. Maybe it's a reminder to yourself as well. "Speaking of which, enlighten me how you think this collaboration is by any means a good idea." 
"It'll give you the money you need." 
"I'm not some charity case, Soon. You don't have to do this for me." 
"You're not a charity case, you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you." He takes your hand in his and squeezes it.
Fighting down the butterflies, you rest your head on his shoulder. "You're too good to me."
"Remember that next time you make fun of me." He chuckles when you flinch at his gentle forehead flick as the elevator dings upon the arrival to the designated floor. "Let's sort out the details after we get some dry clothes on, yeah?"
Soonyoung strolls into the shared apartment with you not far behind. He peels off his shirt, flinging it right past your head into the awaiting laundry basket behind you.
"What do you think you're doing? That almost hit me in the face!"
He shrugs. "Jihoon's not home so feel free to get comfortable." The words are barely out of his mouth when you shrug off his jacket and toss it to join his discarded shirt. "Whoa, what are you doing?"
"You said to get comfy. Please, I'm not even naked — which you act like you haven't seen before."
"Huh?"
You cross your arms, refusing to let your gaze drop lower than his pretty eyes. "Did you forget? Communal shower incident? Speaking of which, would you mind if I got a quick shower first? I feel crummy as hell after getting rained on twice."
"Uh, yeah. Yeah. Sure." 
Soonyoung's voice thickens as he visibly gulps at the sight of your clothes that cling to your curves like a second skin. You miss his glazed-over eyes and pupils blown wide as you fuss with taking off your blouse, the thin camisole underneath leaving nothing to the imagination.
"I'll… I'll be right back," he stutters out and backs away slowly, gears barely turning in his brain. "Um. I'll... go and... get you some... uh, clothes. Yeah. Clothes. To change into."
"Thanks!" 
You remain oblivious to his actions because Soonyoung occasionally reacts weirdly when he's reminded that you are a female friend rather than just one of the boys that he hangs out with. It's a particular scratch on his brain and a tightness in his pants but not necessarily in a bad way. You both check each other out. But he's never, ever once acted on it since you've met him until this new suggestion of a collaboration — one that involves sex, no less.
To say you're not thrown off would be a lie. You mull it over as the comforting, hot water washes away the grime, stress, and bad feelings of the day. Technically, it's not necessarily a bad idea. Unfortunately, capitalism runs the world and you need the money. The act of sex with Soonyoung doesn't worry you as much as what will happen afterward.
Stupid feelings.
Yet as you step out of the shower enveloped in the familiar scent of your best friend's shampoo, all you can do is beam like the whipped person you are upon seeing the neatly folded pile of clothes he left on the bathroom sink counter. A loose t-shirt and fuzzy hoodie accompanied by a black pair of boxers. You sigh in comfort at feeling much more refreshed in dry clothes and open the door. 
"Could've just given me some gym shorts, kinda intimate of you to share your underwear with me."
Soonyoung looks up, hiding a fond smile at the sight of you in his clothes behind the can of cheap beer he's sipping on. "Trust me when I say those are cleaner than any of my shorts right now."
"Ew. Please don't elaborate on that. What about those tiger-striped ones I bought for your birthday? Don't tell me you actually wear those," you tease as you plop down on the couch next to him. Only to choke when he pulls the waistband of his gray sweatpants down enough for you to see the telltale sign of indeed, tiger print fabric.
"Wear 'em every stream, baby. I'm telling you, they love it."
"You've got to be joking," you mutter and shake your head, "are we ready to finally talk about this ordeal?"
"I was born ready. So, what're you thinking?"
Your eyebrows wrinkle. "I thought you had this big, brilliant plan."
"Not really. Like, I don't know what you'd feel okay doing with me so I thought you could at least throw some stuff on the table first."
"Oh. Um. I don't know. Maybe something like... mutual m-masturbation?"
"Hm, kind of boring. I mean, isn't that what we technically already do? What's going to make this different?"
"Well... there would be two people on-camera... I... I don't know!" You throw your hands up. "Do you have something better in mind?"
"Actually, yeah. You need the money fast but rushing into this might not be the best idea. We have to learn more about each other. Sexually." Even though you're wrinkling your nose, he keeps talking. "Preferences, kinks, likes, dislikes. You've never really watched me before so why don't you tune into my livestream? I'll give you all the money I make tonight if you do."
"Tonight?" you repeat with a squeak, mouth suddenly dry. "Like, tonight tonight?"
"Got my lucky tiger stripes on for a reason, baby. Ain't no time like the present."
"Oh my god. I... I... "
"Relax," Soonyoung laughs, "you'll enjoy it."
"I... I don't think I will."
"You're totally overthinking it. I can see your brain thrashing in a meltdown state right now."
"This is all very weird, can you blame me?"
"Nah but," he wiggles his eyebrows. "I'll make it worth your while. Just think about all the money I'll pull."
"Right. That definitely sounds sexier."
"Hey!"
"You better make bank tonight, tiger boy. Hard to believe there would be that many people enamored with whatever furry act you've got going on."
"That sounds rich coming from you."
You gasp. "... Have you been watching my streams?" He doesn't answer, simply blinks. Once. Twice. Three times. "How long, Kwon Soonyoung?"
"... Only since my viewers suggested it. I didn't even know it was you though!"
"Ohhhhh my god, no wonder you... Lord. Unlike you, I'm not a furry. They call me Tigress for the aesthetics. Obviously, I'm not going to use my real name."
"Uh-huh, keep telling yourself that. Say, do you really have a tiger lily tatt on your inner thigh?"
"Guess you'll have to figure it out yourself," you jeer, "since you seem to know so much about me."
"Is that a challenge?"
You stick your tongue out, swatting away his hand that sneaks toward your lower body. Soonyoung's never backed down from a provocation but you weren't going to let him win or have the upper hand he seemed to be controlling right now. "No, it is not."
"I can wait." He acquiesces and leans back, now with a smug smile. "I'll have you naked for me soon, anyways."
"If you're lucky," you fire back, "you're going to have to impress me first."
"Trust me, bestie. When haven't I? I'll be sure to have your jaw dropping for me in more ways than one."
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You're in your best friend's room on your back and lying on his bed. The only source of light is radiating from the phone in your hands as it loads Svthub's website. Weighing your options, you log out and search for 0riginalTiger69, chewing your bottom lip at the sight of the blinking red dot next to his profile.
What harm could this do?
Probably an irreparable amount of damage.
Your finger hovers over the screen, anxiety filling your gut. It was now or never. With a deep breath, you squeeze your eyes shut and tap the play button. It's silent through your earbuds for a good five minutes and your eyes fly back open thinking you clicked the wrong icon. Ironically, you breathe out a sigh at the sight of Soonyoung in a plain t-shirt paired with his infamous boxers while a "Welcome AnonymousUser75923!" banner scrolls along the top of the screen.
Suspicions confirmed, you make a mental note to tell him that he could turn off that function if he wanted. That is — if you could even look him in the eye after this.
You can't see his face but unfortunately, you do know what it looks like. Cursing yourself for imagining his furrowed eyebrows that match the pout on his lips as he reads the comments popping along the bottom of the screen.
"Horang-HEY to all the lovely kittens joining me this fine evening. Hello CherryScouper_95, why do I still have my clothes on? Ah, that's to keep the suspense! I'm still waiting for a few more to hop on." He leans in closer to the camera, the red welt on his neck catching everyone's attention. "Haha, this? No, it's not a hickey, Jejusb00s but you're free to give me one if you'd like. I just happen to have a mean friend who finger-flicked me for no reason. Now that I think about it..." 
Soonyoung mutters something to himself and pulls out his phone. You jump when yours buzzes.
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Soonyoung laughs. "No, 4ngelic_m3nace, I said flicked not fucked. You know I'm not really into that."
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You're practically gnawing off your lip at this point, cheeks heating up if you're reading into what he really means correctly. It's actually impressive how he seamlessly texts you and interacts with his viewers. Now you're curious how many times he's replied to people's regular messages during a stream. 
More times than you can guess. 
"Do my precious lil pussycats have any suggestions for tonight? I wanna spice things up and get those nice tips coming in. Go on and talk to me. All your dirtiest fantasies and wettest dreams."
woolove: i wanna be yours and you be mine so we can fuck for days nonstop 🤩
h0rny49yu: lemme lick the sweat off of ur abs 👅👅👅👅
"Woolove, kitten, you know I don't belong to anyone but I'll take you up on that second part. We can go for weeks even." He reads the next comment aloud with a smirk. "My abs, hm?" 
A rapid flurry of comments and monetary pings commence when he teases a scrumptious view of the taut muscles underneath his shirt with one hand, still clutching his caseless phone in the other. The glow of Jihoon's neon light signs contributes to the enticing visual your best friend manages to pull off.
You had been extremely shocked when Soonyoung admitted to using the sacred studio of this generation's genius music producer to stream. At first, you figured that he was just doing it to be polite because he had discouraged you (rather strongly) from going into his roommate's bedroom tonight — a space you often slept in with how often Jihoon was out. But it was in fact the truth, judging by a quick glance of the thumbnails for his other videos on Svthub.
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s0turned0n: show us the goods! 💃🏻💃🏻 get naked! 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻  release the 🍆🍌🥒🍑🎆🧨🎇
AnonymousUser69034: you? on your back. me? on top. hotel? Trivago 💅🏼 
hoshis_d1ck: 1 hour in a room alone n i'll blow ur mind and ur dick 😳👉🏼👈🏼
"Ah, we're getting somewhere. My loyal kitties know I reward well. When they listen to me." Soonyoung cups his chin as if in deep thought. "You're all acting so cute even though I've told you before how dangerous it is 'cause there's no off switch on a tiger… that is, if you can catch me first."
woolove: buying a tiger-size collar and leash rn 💋
"Aw woolove, tip me enough and I'll consider getting it myself. Maybe."
t1ge3r_rat: cage the (derogatory) tiger !!! 
He tries to hide his snort, easily identifying your new screen name, and tosses his phone on the desk in front of him. "Caging? Now that's new. How about something a lil more romantic though? I like playing gentle with my pussycats."
t1ge3r_rat: weak 
Another rush of comments flies past. Littered with cheesy requests, fluffy ideas, and the usual questionable plea. But one, in particular, catches your eye. Not that it's hard to miss.
cumdaywh0ring: 💦💦💦💦💦 SHOWER SEX!!!!!!!!!!!! SHOWER SEX!!!!!!!! 💦💦💦💦💦
Your mind traitorously drifts back to earlier. The momentary sinful imagination of Soonyoung pausing when he placed the clean pile of clothes down on the bathroom sink. A timid glance towards the shower where he hears you humming only to freeze, lips parting at the silhouette of your alluring figure through the curtain.
Shit.
t1ge3r_rat: i second the shower sex 😗✌🏻
"Shower sex, eh?" Of course, the bastard immediately sees your agreement and picks it out of all the others. He grunts, a hand sliding back down past his covered abs to grope at the girth hidden within his tiger-striped boxers. "My kittens do have to be nice and wet for me. All needy and clinging onto my shoulders. Pressed up hard against the shower wall so we don't slip 'n fall."
t1ge3r_rat: safety first!!
dickarawrous420: hot 🚿
CherryScouper_95: even hotter if u took ur clothes off ~ 
8starfucks: we should all be naked right???
"Ah, ah, ah. With my kittens so desperate, I have no choice but to enter the shower with my clothes on. But that's okay because," Soonyoung smirks as he easily pulls his cock out, "I can just do this."
You gulp. It's even more mouth-watering than the quick image burnt in your brain from last week. He spits in his hand and starts with slow, steady strokes. A hiss escapes his mouth when his thumb rubs along the tip that's beginning to leak with pre-cum.
"You'd look so pretty for me, baby. That sorry excuse of a shirt clinging to your perfect tits, nipples poking through 'cause you're not wearing a bra underneath. Naughty," he pretends to scold but it's hardly believable with how far gone he suddenly is in this fantasy. Thick cock already hard. Dancer hips thrusting up to match the rhythm of his hand. 
"Run a finger down where I know you're even wetter. But for a different reason. Hot pussy pressed against my thigh. Shit, you're prolly clenching, poor lil hole so desperate for my cock. Find out you're not wearing panties either. Shockers."
A whimper unwittingly leaves your mouth. You blame it on whatever pheromones he emitted in his room. The overwhelming scent of everything that is Soonyoung. You're drowning in it with no hope for recovery. The alignment of the planets and stars will face your wrath. Hell, even the man himself. It's part of the job but it feels like he's talking directly to you. About you. 
He has to know you have no bra or panties on. He's the one who provided his clothes as a substitute. 
Your back is damp with sweat and you can feel the heat of arousal pooling in your core. You force your entire body to stay rigidly still. Fuck. He's better at this than you thought.
"Shit," Soonyoung growls. His head is thrown back and you can't help but admire the vein running down it. "Rip off those tiny ass shorts and slide right into your sopping pussy. So fucking tight and wet wrapped around me. God, you'd take me in so deep wouldn't you? Stuff you nice and full, baby — just like you like it."
"Shit," you echo as the viewers rush to answer him with the yeses you're dying to admit. You feel lightheaded. "Goddamnit." 
Would it be indecent to touch yourself? Right here in his bedroom? With only one wall separating you? You don't even dare to cross your legs. Trembling hands struggle to keep your phone stable because the low moans Soonyoung is making directly in your ear shoot straight down to your cunt and render your entire body shaky.
woolove: shirt offfffff
woolove: plssss
woolove: wanna touch u directly all over n mark u up
"That so, woolove?" He delays his approaching release by checking the comments. "Don't worry, kitten. I'm sure those lovely claws of yours will do their job properly no matter what I'm wearing. Just be careful when you're putting them inside that empty pussy of yours wishing it was me. Don't want you to get hurt."
NewUser89021: no promises daddy
"Yes, I'm your father," Soonyoung chuckles darkly before it suddenly changes into a light-hearted cackle. He shifts a bit lower, the upper part of his face still hidden. Legs spread wide, granting an even better view of his cock that flops against his covered abdomen. "Kidding, welcome new kittens — just call me Hoshi. I like the sound of you moaning that better."
hoshis_d1ck: hoshi dick supremacy ftwww
t1ge3r_rat: what the actual fuck??
cumdaywh0ring: r we nutting anytime soon?????? i've got plans at 8
He clicks his tongue and resumes light, teasing touches along his length. "Impatient, aren't we? I hope you're touching yourselves at home or I'll have to punish you by dragging this out. So go on, pretty pussycats. Make your tiger cum."
Oh no.
You flip on your side, fearing the sweat and dampness you're sure is now coating your friend's boxers might accidentally leave traces on his comforter. Dread fills your gut when Soonyoung reaches for his phone again, despite the influx of viewers begging for him to breed them. Whether his intentions are to add to the suspense or bother you again, you rush to add a plea to the mix.
t1ge3r_rat: pls pls cum for us
No one except Soonyoung knows what causes the satisfied smirk on his face for him to lean back again but they can definitely see it as he quickens his pace, filthy words spilling out of his lips.
"Gonna let me cum in that dirty hole of yours, baby? Take you right out of the shower and throw you on the bed, fill you up so you walk around feeling me drip out of your pussy for days. Just for you to come and beg for more like the good cumslut you are." 
dickarawrous420: hot
woolove: omgkfjdks i'm so close fjddfj pls fill me up
s0turned0n: 🔥🔥🔥🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇💥💥💥
Fickle fingers toy with your waistband. What if… just what if… one little…
"I'd give it to you, baby. Hell, I'd do anything you wanted. You'd like that, huh? Being treated like you deserve. And I would… shit… you'd be so perfect for me. Made for just for me… fuck!" 
Your hand snaps away from your lower body at Soonyoung's sudden increase in expletives as he finally loses control. You can only watch in awe as white spurts of his release spill out over his cute, tiny hands that continue jerking himself through the orgasm. 
"Hah," he gasps out his legendary tagline, "horanghae, baby."
h0rny49yu: ur so sexci omfg
8starfucks: delicious
wh0ranghae: i think i came the hardest in my life ever
NewUser22234: so hot i think i'm in love
Jejusb00s: i put the sub in subscribed
"I think… that's the hardest I've ever cum too," Soonyoung admits almost bashfully. "Don't fall in love with me kittens, this is one tiger that's impossible to tame."
woolove: wounds me every time 😭😭😭😭
"Sorry, you know how this goes. But, all of you have been so well-behaved for me, it's only fair I reward as promised." 
He giggles and in one smooth motion finally pulls the t-shirt off, displaying honey-colored skin that's dewy from exertion. Using it to clean himself up, it's quickly discarded, thrown off to the side. You gulp at the display of his lean pecs rising up and down from his harsh pants and the two veins trailing from his abs, down his pelvis, and surely up and around…
Soonyoung smirks back at the camera, grasping at his cock again. "Ready for a couple more bonus rounds then, kittens?"
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This was all a goddamn mistake.
You're cursing your best friend under your breath, having been muttering dark nonsense for the past day and a half. 
Technically, it's also your fault for getting stupid feelings but you deny all cases of accountability. Fuzzy feelings aside, you hold zero responsibility for Soonyoung having a nice lower package too. 
Fuck. Your hands are shaking again. You set down the tube of lipstick and take a deep breath, giving the reflection in the mirror a firm, reprimanding look to not be so dick-drunk just as your phone rings.
Speak of the devil.
You have no other choice but to accept his video call because it's D-day. Although your hands are occupied at the moment, so he'll have to accept looking at the constellations lit across your ceiling instead.
"Hi! Huh? Hello? Are you there?"
"Hi, Soonyoung. I'm getting ready."
"Are you nervous?"
"Why would I be, this isn't my first show," you say more to yourself than to him.
"Your star projector's on."
"And? I always put it on before I start. It calms me down."
"That's cute." 
You freeze at his words and then shake your head, clipping your earrings in place. It wasn't like he was calling you cute. You hate that all the effort you've put into shielding your feelings is easily cracked apart after seeing his dick. Pathetic.
"By the way, you did get the transfer right?"
"Yeah, I already told you."
"I know but I just wanted to check. With a sum that large, who knows where it might go… you haven't talked to me since."
"I answered all your texts."
"Yeah, but what if someone hacked your phone? Like even now, I could be talking to an evil person imitating your voice."
You sigh, lifting up the phone to show him your face. He smiles brightly and snickers at your frown. "See? It's me."
"I suppose so. Unless you're an imposter Hoon hired."
After trying and failing to sleep, you walked out to see Soonyoung's roommate sipping on his cup of black coffee at some gremlin-only hour. It was unusual for him to return at this time just as it was rare for you to be up. But with Soonyoung snoring away in Jihoon's room, all you could do was apologize. 
He brushed it off, saying there was no need, and instead, inquired why you were awake. You confessed to wanting to go home but your car broke down. He happened to be headed back out for reasons you didn't pry and offered a ride. One you gladly accepted — with the promise to meet for lunch sometime with his new girlfriend — all of which was much to Soonyoung's chagrin.
It's true that you hadn't talked to your bestie directly but you had given brief responses to his incessant messaging. It was easy to blame your aloofness on being busy. Which you were — catching up on assignments, sleeping, and preparing for your next stream. 
"Jihoon brought me back safely of course and you didn't have to give me all of that," you whisper, voice small. "It's too much."
"I told you I would and that was probably my best show ever." He wiggles in excitement although you don't see it because you placed your phone back down. "I'm looking forward to what we'll make together. And I'm looking even more forward to tonight."
"Oh, shut up," you complain, embarrassed, "apparently you've already watched me before."
"Yeah but this is different. 'Cause now you know I'll be watching."
And that was the worst part.
You didn't mention that maybe — just maybe — you binged almost all of his videos uploaded to Svthub. Perhaps to simply fight the incessant heat that hasn't stopped boiling in your core since that night. Possibly another big mistake on your end, a constant mind loop of Soonyoung's obscene whispers now playing in your head.
To salvage what's left of whatever pride you have remaining, you pick your phone up to face him. "What's in your spank bank?"
"Huh?"
"Y'know, like… what gets you going, what you picture in your head? Oh — what're you listening to? I noticed you sometimes wear earbuds."
He tilts his head. "Have you been… watching my videos? You're asking… what gets my dick hard? Is that why you haven't been talking to me?"
Your finger points accusingly at the screen. "You told me to do my research."
Soonyoung laughs nervously, suddenly flustered as he combs his silver locks back with both hands. "I, uh, guess I'm honored. Well, what did you think? Any good?"
"... You didn't answer my question."
"Um, well. I don't know why you want to know but whatever. It's just some… audio porn…?"
"Cool. Send me a few links later." 
"Why?" he sputters at your nonchalant request. Shit, he should've just said music. 
"Just going off what you said about "learning each other's kinks" or whatnot."
Soonyoung chews on his bottom lip. "... Alright. Remember, you asked for it."
"I'm really trusting that you aren't going to send me some extreme furry sex, so don't break the little amount of faith I have in you because that smile's making me reconsider."
"Nah, just think this is all very cute. Seriously. I'm excited for tonight. See you on Svthub in a few?" 
You roll your eyes as you blow him a cheeky kiss and a very dignified middle finger. "See you, original tiger boy." 
TigerLily_61596 is now live! 
The recording light blinks from the webcam as you clear your throat. Viewers are already tuning in and the chime of tips being applied to your account rapidly increases even if all you're doing is sitting on your bed. It's a reminder that by no means are you an amateur to this despite the butterflies swirling in your tummy. 
"Evenin', darlings," you lean forward with your chest squeezed flatteringly between your arms, cleavage on full display. "How're you all doing?"
tigressb00bl0v3r: seeing ur boobs always makes my day a whole lot better 🙏🏻
deathbyd1cks: bbygorl ur tits look so good in that set 😏
crazy4w00: sit on my face pls 😖💦
"Thank you for the compliments." Your hands rise from your lap to play with the bra straps that cause your breasts to jiggle tantalizingly. "A special thank you to deathbyd1cks for the pretty lingerie, it does look good on me."
The best part about camming was the sexy little gifts you received. Of course, they were delivered to a PO box several cities away so it took a bit of time to get to you, but you have yet to be disappointed. Plus, they made your shows all the more delicious — especially when your viewers hungrily got to watch you take off or use something they had bought for you.
Your hands don't leave your upper body, instead drifting down to fondle your tits. Playing with your nipples through the flimsy orange and black material, you continue reading the comments.
kitkat69: getting u something sexci for your next show &lt;3
sugacub3s: would treat u so good if u rode my thigh bby
"I look forward to it, darling kitkat69! But please, save your money if you need it. Don't spend it on me… especially if I'm being bad." Your appreciative smile turns into a smirk. "Crazy4w00 and sugacub3s, I appreciate your offers but I really need something inside me. Big and thick." You pout. "The pillow I've been riding lately just hasn't been enough."
You can't help but admit the truth. Even your fingers reaching deep within weren't enough to scratch such an intense desire but you still needed them for what you had planned tonight. Wondering if Soonyoung had tuned in, you bite your lip at the wetness that soaks your panties at just the thought of him watching. 
You're quick to strip out of the lingerie, not that it was really hiding anything — making sure to show the camera the string of arousal that drips from your cunt to the fabric as you discard the set on the bedroom floor. A tiny tiger lily tattoo (per your username and profile) is on full display, ink prettily scrawled along your hip crease. The viewers eat it up, the sound of tips becoming one long blaring ring of appreciation.
Your pointer and middle finger spread your hole open, seductively showing how it struggles to clench around something. Anything.
"How many fingers, loves? How many do you think this needy pussy can take?"
deathbyd1cks: all of them tbh
sugacub3s: mine would fit in there so well put in 2 baby girl and pretend it's me
whore_that_roars: put in 1 that's all u deserve rn
crazy4w00: lich rally sit on my face my tongue will make u cum faster 😜
beg4u: ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻
beg4u: that means 2 btw
No one can see you roll your eyes although you do bite your lip. Your cheeks heat up ten times more than they already are as you ease just one finger in per who you assume can only be Soonyoung. Fuck. You let out a moan. 
"Am feeling so tight, need to loosen up." You're sure the mic can pick up the light breaths that escape your mouth as you stroke the bundle of nerves inside, thumb circling your clit. "Can I add another? Pretty please?"
sugacub3s: hell yeah
whore_that_roars: no
whore_that_roars: i don't remember giving u permission to touch that cute clit of urs
whore_that_roars: so be patient
m3rs: sexci
beg4u: 👊🏻👊🏻 who are you to run this show
deathbyd1cks: lolol
kitkat69: she's being so good tho i vote yes
whore_that_roars: fine. add 2 more 
beg4u: 🙄 yeah pls
You pause and lick your fingers to lubricate them with your saliva, a contemplative hum at the bitterness on your tongue. "Bet you all wish you could taste me, huh?"
crazy4w00: that's what i've been saying!!!! ik you taste soooo good 💧💧💧
whore_that_roars: is that a promise??
beg4u: 😒 lich rally who even is this rando
whore_that_roars: she said be nice. i'll remember you svthub user beg4u 👁️
"C'mon, don't fight." Three fingers slide into your pulsating warmth and you throw your head back in pleasure at the slight burn before grabbing the vibrator on your nightstand. "I need to cum at least once to fit this bad boy in."
deathbyd1cks: oh it's that kind of night 😏🤭
crazy4w00: 👅 tasty
kingh0ng: shit i'm late 
kingh0ng: but i didn't miss the good stuff fuck yeah
"Oh, we're just getting started, kingh0ng. So? Am I allowed to make myself cum?"
sugacub3s: hell yeahhhhh
beg4u: 💣💣💣💣 
whore_that_roars: do it baby
kingh0ng: got my dick out we're all good to go
Fingers pick up speed, porn-worthy wet sounds filling the room. It doesn't take you long to hurdle over that edge, pinching and pulling at your nipples. Shivers trail up and down your spine when you picture Soonyoung's intense gaze, wondering if his tiny fingers would be able to reach even as far as yours. Not that it matters because the visual of him in your head is enough for another gush of arousal to leak from your trembling cunt.
"God, I'm so wet," you murmur more to yourself because your viewers can clearly see the traces on your thighs. "Shit."
crazy4w00: i'd lick it all up
kingh0ng: i can't cum yet there's more right??
whore_that_roars: will u squirt for me baby? i KNOW you can
"Grab onto your straps, babygirls. Any of you boys as big and thick as this?" 
The silver and glittery, microphone-shaped vibrator shines under the dim fairylights of your bedroom. It jitters to life when you press the 'on' button, flinching at its intensity.
deathbyd1cks: perfect 👌🏼
tigressb00bl0v3r: omfggg yessss
beg4u: i can't vibrate like that 😢 
whore_that_roars: i can certainly try
beg4u: lichrally fighting user whore_that_roars after this
Ignoring the chaos in the comments, you bite your lip. It's one of your biggest toys and possibly bigger than any man's cock, in all honesty. You're sure it might be as thick as Soonyoung but what would you know. Gifted by a dedicated fan, you feel your entire body jerk as you tease your tight hole with it.
Despite loosening up, it's still going to be a hard fit. One hand falls to your bed to prevent your body from collapsing as you continue rubbing it along the outer lips of your pussy and clit. Finally, with an unholy whine, you ease it inside.
kitkat69: shit
sugacub3s: o my fuck
whore_that_roars: baby did you just cum from THAT?
m3rs: cute
beg4u: i just 😵👁️👁💦🧨🎇🎆 
tigressb00bl0v3r: fuck ur so hot
deathbyd1cks: delicious bbygirl
kingh0ng: i thk i blcked out
You laugh weakly between moans, unable to form words. Despite indeed having just cum from the sensations alone, the vibrator continues at full speed — your hips stuttering helplessly as you struggle to grip it in your hand. The depraved picture of debauchery as a trail of drool drips from your mouth.
But you still need more.
Feeling like you're floating in the clouds and extremely ightheaded, your body has a mind of its own. A few more slight wiggles and your eyes are rolling back as the loudest moan you've ever made comes from the very depths of your soul.
whore_that_roars: shit
whore_that_roars: fuck
whore_that_roars: squirt for me baby
beg4u: squirt for US*
crazy4w00: 💦💦💦💦💧💧💧💧 
And you do. 
Ripping the sex toy from between your legs, an absolute wet mess gushes out of your spent cunt all over your bedsheets. Legs shaking, you clamp down on your hand to prevent the name lingering in your subconscious from escaping as the last streams of your release drip down your thighs. Tears are blurring your vision and you sniffle, slowly coming back to earth.
deathbyd1cks: u good tigress????
kingh0ng: i think my dick fell off fr that was hot af
kingh0ng: but yeah, u good?
whore_that_roars: talk to us love
beg4u: square up whore_that_roars
beg4u: hope you're alive tho miss tigress cuz I'm not
kitkat69: LICH rally tigress is always an icon
"I'm… I'm good." You confirm and give them a thumbs-up, panting but smiling lopsidedly. "I… I hope you enjoyed that and thank you for the tips. I'm gonna go… clean up. Catch you later, darlings."
Once you've confirmed that you've turned off the recording and your computer is shut off, you collapse on your bed. Feeling woozy and sluggish, an arm flops across your closed eyes. This was by no means the first time Soonyoung has been in your thoughts during a livestream. Even now after all that, you feel yourself clench instinctively, the feeling blossoming even more because he had been watching you. Talking to you. Commanding you.
Fuck.
You're afraid that once you get a real taste of him you won't be able to let him go. Ever. You'll want him more than he wants you and you're not sure if you can handle that.
But this collaboration is happening. You might as well get the chance to fuck him once in your life than never at all.
Tears wash away in the shower, disappearing down the drain. For the hundredth time, you push down your feelings and let the warm water soothe away the aches and pains instead. Self-care is a must. Fluffy towels dry away the moisture, lotion to keep your skin smooth, and comfy granny pajamas to curl up under your clean bedsheets. Time for a good wallow in your feels.
Your phone lays uncharged on your nightstand and you pick it up, blinking at the several messages from none other than Soonyoung. Dread fills your gut momentarily before opening them, only to gasp in shock at what you read.
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God, you were screwed... weren't you?
◇ Part 2
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onlyseokmins: September 2022 ©
2K notes · View notes
cowpokeomens · 2 months
Text
absolution
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Pairing: Pastor!Joakim "Jolly" Karlsson x fem!reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Warnings: 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI!!!!!!!!! A looot of references to religion (it all takes place in a church, so), smut smut smut (p-in-v) I'm including dubcon bc consent is weird with power dynamics, age gaps (10 yr) (everyone is of legal age though!!), some body horror stuff, power imbalance, I think that's all but if you come across something that I missed please reach out so I can tag accordingly!!! Love u bye!!!
A/N: This was really cathartic to write lmao I have a sprinkling of Religious Trauma and this helped me work through some of those feelings in my own weird horny way. It is porn, please don't start expecting me to be some kinda respectable writer with plotlines or whatever. PLEASE HEED THE TAGS. Okay enjoy!!!!
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The guilt of it is eating you alive. 
The pressure between your legs- the raw, empty ache that plagues you day in and day out. Sitting on your pew, you are once again swept away by long, glossy hair and inked knuckles, turning sacred pages of a holy book that can do nothing to hold your attention at this moment.
What an impression of Christ he makes, you think to yourself, sounding hypnotized even in your internal monologue. 
He arrived when you were 19, to your small town, to your even smaller church. The rest of the folks in town think your congregation is too… fanatical. You can’t imagine a world in which someone could be over-zealous for the word of God, and even so, Pastor Karlsson had done a lot to level the congregation out. 
He was a divorcee, not by his choice, he has said. He was only 29 when he first rolled into town, funny accent and even funnier sounding name causing immediate distrust in your tight-knit community.
But God, did he have a testimony. Sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll, the tattoos adorning his body told you the story better than those gaudy stained glass windows in the snobby Catholic churches ever could. A lecherous lifestyle with a woman who didn’t love him, not really - not the way you do. He had humbled himself to you all, and you gladly let him in. He was made a pillar in your community - he became a leader to the congregation.
Which is why you always suppressed your feelings, putting them in a locked sarcophagus and hurling it to the far recesses of your mind. You will not be the thing that tries to come between him and the Lord.
You look up at him as he speaks, standing at the pulpit and wielding the word of God like the Archangel Michael who so valiantly struck down Satan. He who is made in God’s image; Had it not been for your utter devotion to the Lord, you would have wondered if he could sin at all.
But you knew better. Everyone carried their own sins. You had heard stories of husbands and wives who idolized each other so much that they left the church altogether. Your heart broke at the thought of leaving God’s light to worship something as sinful as human flesh, couldn’t imagine risking an eternity of paradise for what would one day be dust. 
Not that you’d know, of course. You’d never felt the touch of a man outside of when Pastor Karlsson baptized you the day before your 21st birthday. It had been fuel for weeks, his gentle hand on your back, guiding you underneath the water of the river that ran out behind the church. You had stuffed yourself full of your own fingers that night, stuffed your mouth full of bed linens so that no one would hear how you came undone at the mere thought of him. 
Perhaps you are the lecherous one, after all. Though you can’t help but think that God has given you Pastor Karlsson on purpose, as a test of your faith. A test that you believed you were passing, for the most part. You haven’t missed a Sunday sermon since you caught the flu in 2021, and even so, you watched the livestreams on Facebook. You keep your nose in your Bible, and ignore the clench in your gut when he tells you good morning. 
This morning is different. 
This morning is worse. 
You just come off of your period- disgusting and uncomfortable as it was, you are thankful it was over and you can enjoy the rest of your June in peace. But it lingers under your skin, an itch that can’t be scratched. Your emotions are raw, and you burst into tears twice this week, unprompted. Worst of all is the ache. 
You didn’t know you could feel so empty. It claws at your insides like a caged beast, mockingly calling in the voice of Moloch himself, “Fill me up, fill me up.”
You threw yourself headfirst into your studies; you reviewed Ecclesiastes as a way to ground yourself, to remind yourself that this was a temporary feeling, and would pale in comparison to the absolution of Heaven. 
Still, sitting in your pew, you felt the hunger gnashing at you, gnawing at your throat. It was overwhelming, all-consuming. You stutter through your hymnal, barely reading half the words. Your mother keeps giving you concerned looks, your father aloof as ever. Halfway through the sermon, she hisses in your ear, “What is the matter with you?” 
You blink up at her, wide-eyed, and stammer out a “I - I don’t know. I feel… weird.” 
She purses her lips, but says nothing, turning back to Pastor Karlsson in the pulpit. 
You pass the time in silence, feeling itchy and hot, until the sermon concludes, and everyone makes a mass exodus to the dirt lot where their cars are parked.
“Hold on.” Your mother stops you as you begin exiting your pew. 
She walks over and, to your utter horror, greets Pastor Karlsson, pulling him aside and speaking to him in hushed tones. He nods once, glancing at you, then nods again as she steps away. She looks grateful, patting his shoulder in that way that mothers do. 
He looks at you then, and his full attention is enough to make you combust. Suddenly your dress is too tight on your chest, your breasts straining with every breath against the linen that encases you. Your bones itch, but your hands stay resolutely tucked into your sides, your Bible held against your chest.
You’re so busy focusing on breathing that you don’t realize he’s walking towards you until he’s right in front of you, smiling warmly while greeting you by name. Your mother is by his side, looking at you in such a way that tells you she had something to do with this interaction. 
“Darling, Pastor Karlsson here wants a word with you. He even said he’d give you a ride back to the house! I’ll set aside a plate for you at home, you two take your time here.” She was smiling in a way that made all of her teeth visible, like a snarling animal. A lead brick settles in your stomach at the expression as you look up at Pastor Karlsson.
He was so tall, you think as you peer up at him. Dark eyes meet yours, making your gaze flicker away to something else- anything else to avoid the intensity you find there. Looking directly into his eyes was like looking into the maw of a starving beast- you weren’t brave enough to even consider it.
Your mother departs with a final “Wonderful sermon, Joakim, thank you!” Flashing one of her pageant smiles at him - one she’s never given your father - as she goes. 
He nods politely, murmuring a quiet, “All the glory to God.” before turning back to you. He gives you a thoughtful look before he speaks again.
“Your mother is concerned about you.” His tone was not accusatory or pointed, just repeating facts. 
You inhale shakily. “Yeah, I feel kind of weird today.” Admitting to such a thing is not a lie - you do feel weird today. 
He nods, as if understanding. Then, “Would you like to speak in my office? I have to pick up a few things, then we can head out.”
The thought of being in an enclosed space with him made you almost pass out, but you persevere, giving a meek nod as you follow him out of the sanctuary.
It was a short walk from the sanctuary to his office, your church is small, even among small churches. You love its modesty; It is a far cry from the towering spires and flying buttresses you saw in your history books back in school, but it has a self-effacing quality that makes it approachable to people from all walks of life. 
The walls are painted white, though slightly yellowed with age. Dark wood lines the floor, blue carpet cushioning your steps as you walk. There aren’t many windows - it was built for insulation, not sight-seeing, after all. Crosses hang sporadically throughout the hallways, some wooden, carved by members, others purchased at a discount at the craft stores a few towns over. 
His office is a glorified coat closet, something the elders threw together haphazardly when God called him to serve. It fit a desk, a desktop computer that was older than dirt, and two chairs, one on either side of the desk. The carpet is green, the walls beige, and you have always thought it is an entirely unbecoming space for such a Godly man. It’s a good thing he was humble; God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble, you think, almost bitterly, as he sits down in the chair by the computer. You make a mental note to work on your own humility as you sit down in the chair opposite him. 
“So, what’s got you feeling weird?” He asks with a small smile, putting his elbows on the desk and lacing his fingers together. His hair falls over his shoulders with the movement, cascading down in a curtain of silk. You remind yourself to breathe. 
Stammering, you try to explain yourself. “I’m- I’m not sure, Pastor Karlsson-”
“Joakim.” He interrupts you gently. 
You blink at him, confusion evident in your face. He must find something about the expression amusing, because he’s smiling softly and continuing, “You can call me Joakim. We’re both grown-ups here.”
You swallow loudly, the sound all but ricochets in the stillness of the room. “R-right. I’m not really sure why I feel so weird. I just had a really hard time focusing today.” You suddenly realize what you’ve said, correcting yourself quickly. “Not that the sermon wasn’t good! Your sermons are always wonderful, Pastor Karls - Joakim.” 
He’s smiling broadly now, clearly entertained by your flailing. “It’s okay, käresta, I understand what you mean." A pause, then he lowers his hands. "Is there something on your mind specifically? Something that’s preventing you from focusing?”
You go still, scared to breathe too fully, lest it give you away. Your eyes slide to the ground, teeth coming out to gnaw at your lip. You can feel your heart racing in your throat- the throbbing sensation makes you wonder if you’ll actually vomit from anxiety. You freeze further when Joakim places a hand on your arm, gently.
His voice is barely audible when he whispers, “Hey, it’s okay. We all have our sins, and sin is sin -”
“- Is sin.” You finish for him, sounding unconvinced. You take a deep breath, then redirect your gaze back to him. His eyes are soft with concern, mouth pulled into the faintest frown. Hating to imagine you’re the reason he’s so upset, you blurt out before you can even process your words.
“I’ve been having lustful thoughts about a man in the congregation.” Once the words have been said, you fight the urge to grab them clean out of the air and stuff them back into your mouth. 
The hand on your arm tenses for half a second, then relaxes again. “Okay.” He begins calmly, pulling his hand back to the table. You resist the urge to whimper at the loss of contact. “I can see where your concern is coming from. Is this man married?”
There were only so many unmarried men in the congregation; it would be an easy elimination if you were truthful. But... You were already coming clean about one sin, no need to add on others, you reasoned. Shaking your head in a negative, you give a meek, “No, he’s not.”
Joakim nods thoughtfully, staying silent for a moment. You can all but see the gears turning in his mind, deducing who it could be. You wonder if he lists himself amongst the unmarried men- or if he is courting some woman, unbeknownst to you all. No, your mind fired at you venomously. He is not the sort of man to slink around in the shadows. 
Finally, he spoke. “While lust is never something to give full rein to, it is understandable, biologically speaking.” Upon seeing your confusion, he offers another soft smile, continuing. “You’re at an age where your body wants you to have children. It is what God made you for, it’s only natural that someone as devoted as you are would respond strongly to His plan. You’re not doing anything wrong, käresta.”
Relief floods your body, making your shoulders sag at the loss of tension. You aren’t doing anything wrong, Joakim even told you so. But that makes you wonder- is there anything you should be doing? You’re about to ask when he speaks again. 
“I’ve been wanting to speak with you privately for a while now.” He huffs a small laugh. “It seems the Lord thought today would be a good time, so it shall be.” 
You straighten your shoulders, sitting up, wanting to make sure he knows he has your full attention. Looking at him fully, you’re not surprised why your body is so responsive to him. He’s so handsome, even with the shadow of dark stubble on his face. You wonder what keeps him up at night, which chapters he gets stuck on for days before clarity dawns on him. It’s no mystery why your body is putting thoughts of lust in your mind; he’s the sort of man who would make a wonderful father. 
You cut off that train of thought, needing to focus on the present moment. He needs your full attention for whatever he’s going to say next. 
“The Lord has been communicating with me for some months now, on the topic of finding a wife.” You both take deep breaths, though for different reasons, you imagine. “You’ve heard my testimony on my previous marriage, so I don’t need to emphasize how much I’ve prayed about this.”
Your heart breaks, shatters, combusts into nothing but ash at his words. The Lord wants him to find a wife, and it sounds like he has someone in mind. You swallow the lump of bile in your throat, trying to listen to his next words as your guts fight the natural inclination to stay in your body.
“I’ve spoken to God a lot, the last few months- even by pastor standards.” The playful smile he gives you feels like a knife twisting in your chest. “And if I’m understanding his message correctly, I believe God wants me to court you.”
You’re so busy wallowing that you don’t understand what he’s said at first. The words sink in slowly, like the drip of an IV into your veins. When you think you understand, you manage a, “What?”
He chuckles, not a degrading sound, rather like he understands your confusion. “I know, it seems sudden, but I’ve been speaking to the Lord about this for many months, and-”
“Oh my goodness.” You interrupt as realization hits you like a freight train. “No - I know. I know. Because God has been speaking to me, too.”
Joakim’s brow furrows at you, and it feels nice to not be the confused one for once. 
You continue, looking up at him shyly. “The… lustful thoughts I��ve been having, they-” You pause, building up your courage. “They’re about you.” 
He’s frozen, mouth slightly agape as he processes your confession. His head tilts to the side slightly, eyes darker than usual as he asks, “You’ve been having lustful thoughts about… me?”
You nod, cheeks tinged pink. “When you’re in the pulpit - I try to focus, I really do, but my mind wanders to… other things.” 
You should be embarrassed, should be ashamed of admitting something so unbecoming. But the comfort of this being God’s plan washes away any ill regards you have about the situation; this is what He has always intended. 
“Other things?” He echoes, eyes focused on you intensely. His voice is hushed, only loud enough for the two of you to hear. “Like what?”
Your blush deepens at his inquiry. “Well, it’s more of a feeling than an exact thought…”
He’s leaning forward now, all but hanging over his desk at your words. He looks hungry, you realize suddenly; Like he’d seen firsthand the famine in Canaan, pupils blown wide, mouth open, breathing slowly. “A feeling?” He prompts.
Nodding, you find yourself leaning forward too, almost desperate to close the gap between you both. You can feel the dust in the air, hear the quiet electric hum of his old desktop computer. Your breath is coming too loudly, it ricochets off the walls around you both. “It feels like an ache.” You explain, sounding hoarse. “It feels like an emptiness.” 
He takes a shaky breath, pushing himself back from his desk in a controlled motion. Standing up, he makes his way around the desk to stand in front of you, one of his calloused hands guiding your chin up to look at him. 
“Do you want me to help you - with the emptiness? The ache?” He questions, eyes boring into yours. 
The thought of it makes your thighs clench together, and the feeling is so delicious that you almost vocalize it. Your mouth is dry, but you feel wetness gathering in your cotton panties already. You almost forget to respond, nodding and breathing out, “Yes, please.”
“Always so well-mannered.” He praises, making you feel warm. You would do just about anything for him to keep going.
The hand on your jaw guides you upward until you’re standing in front of him. You’re not touching, but you can feel the heat emanating from his body, feel the way the air vibrates between you. His eyes travel down to your lips, back up to your eyes, then down to your lips again. 
“Have you ever kissed a boy, lillis?” He asks, eyes half-lidded and voice quiet.
You shake your head, a tiny movement. “No.” You pause, then decide to continue. “I wanted to save myself.”
His inhale is sharp, deep. “Such a good girl.” The words light a fire in your belly, and the familiar gnawing is back, worse than ever before. You shift on your feet, subconsciously searching for any kind of friction. He picks up on the movement. 
“Do you feel empty, now? Are you desolate?” You can feel where his breath hits your face. If you tilted your head right, your lips would meet. The clothes you’re wearing feel itchy - too tight, too rough.  
You can’t speak, so you nod “yes.” His eyes run down your figure, back up again to your lips. 
“Show me where.” Is his only command. You can’t read his expression fully, features arranged into careful neutrality. The spark in his eyes seemed to hint at desperation, though.
Your face is probably the color of a sun-ripened tomato, but you do as he says, grabbing his free hand, guiding it between your legs. His fingers curl up through your skirt, cupping your mound. Your eyelids flutter shut at the contact, hands coming up to rest against his chest to steady yourself. Heartbeat racing, you don’t think there could be anything better than the feeling of what’s happening right now.
“Here? Is this where you feel empty?” His lips move against your cheek, breath fanning across your ear, making you shiver.
You blink several times, trying to clear your head. “Joakim, please.” Is all you can muster, fingers gripping at his shirt. 
You can feel him sag against you as his lips crash into yours. You’re not completely sure of what to do, allowing him to guide your lips open, licking into your mouth. You hear yourself groaning into the kiss, crowding impossibly closer until your bodies are pressed against each other fully. 
He breaks the embrace to place wet, open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, down your neck. The feeling is euphoric, making your hips buck into his without conscious decision.
Hands run down your sides, coming up again underneath your dress skirt to grip at the backs of your thighs, yanking you forward with such force that you almost topple over. His left hand is at your back in an instant, holding you steady before unzipping the back of your dress in a swift motion. 
The material pools around your front, hanging loosely until you pry it off, happy to be rid of the too-rough fabric at last. His lips are back on yours in an instant, one hand gripping the back of your neck while the other kneads the flesh of your breast through your bra. 
You outright moan at the feeling, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as your mouth opens to let the sound out. He works a knee between your legs, rubbing the meaty flesh of his thigh against your core in such a way that has you seeing spots in your vision. Fingers curling into claws where they grip onto his shoulders, you grind down onto his leg, an animalistic snarl escaping you as you do so. 
You know this feeling; Though it’s a sin to give into lust, you’ve made yourself climax before, silently, long after everyone had laid down to rest at night. This is so much more, though - you feel as though someone has soaked you in gasoline and laid a lit match to your flesh. Nothing could have torn you from the carnal desire you felt, being entwined with Joakim like this. You want to take turns ripping each other apart, severing limbs and gluing them back together until you have both been remade in His image. You want to bite and gnaw and lick until you taste blood, to soothe the worried skin with soft whispers and softer hands. Dragged to Hell and back, nailed to a cross and left to rot, rising from the dead with such vigor that Lazarus would envy you - you wanted it all, so long as this moment didn’t end.
“Joakim - I, I -” You choke out, eyes focusing on his, foreheads pressed together.
“Good girl, give it to me, everything you’ve got.” He urged you, the hand on your neck coming down against your hip, ushering your pelvis against his thigh. 
Burying your head in his chest, you climax with a wanton moan, body shuddering through the shockwaves of it. Your breathing is labored, vision blurry from clenching your eyes shut so tightly.
He’s gently prying you off his leg then, maneuvering your positions until you find yourself face-down on his desk. Using a knee, he nudges your knees apart until he fits comfortably between them. The new angle has you feeling vulnerable, visible, licentious. 
You don’t have time to dwell on the feeling, because suddenly his fingers are playing with your folds through your ruined panties. Your knees almost buckle at the stimulation, so sensitive it almost hurts. Gripping the other side of the desk to hold yourself upright, you do your very best to stay still as he explores your body. 
Two fingers hook into the side of your panties, moving them to the side. You know he can see everything like this, and while part of you is screaming at the debauchery of it, another, louder part of you hopes he likes what he sees. You’re fighting the urge to sneak a glance at him when the two fingers that moved your panties aside are thrust deep into your core. 
You let out a howl that could rival a rabid dog, nails scraping against the wooden laminate of the desk as your hands clench into fists. He’s curling his fingers inside you slowly, and you can feel every millimeter of it. A string of drool escapes your open mouth, cascading down into a puddle on a stack of prayer requests from this morning’s sermon. 
“That’s it, so good, just take it, lillis.” He murmurs, fingers still unfurling deep inside you. 
You don’t know that you can do anything but take it. His fingers are so much thicker than yours, taking up twice as much space as you’re used to. You feel wonderfully full, the emptiness inside you finally satiated.
But then he’s pulling them out, and you almost sob at the loss of it. You could feel your hole clenching on nothing, throbbing with want; Whether you enjoy it or not, you aren’t even sure. 
You hear a zipper, then the sound of something metallic hitting the carpet. When you turn your neck to see what’s happening, you’re met with the sight of Joakim’s full manhood on display. 
You’ve never seen a man naked before. There were pictures, shown to you unwillingly by the cruel boys who called you a “Bible-thumper” in school, but this is entirely different.
Joakim is… prettier, you think is the right word. His tip is pink, almost red, and wet-looking in the glow of the fluorescent office lights. Veins bulge along the length, throbbing at you angrily as if to mock the throbbing happening within you. It’s big, you realize suddenly. You can’t begin to fathom how it’s going to fit inside you, when his fingers alone made you feel so full already.
A hand is placed at the back of your neck, holding you flat in place. The weight is reassuring, grounding in its pressure as you’re pressed fully against the desk, the cool laminate a welcome reprieve from the fever burning in your skin. You feel him press his tip against your folds, running it through the slickness there, before slowly pushing past your threshold. 
“It hurts.” Is the first thing you whine, legs already trembling. It does hurt - in a sharp way, like stretching to reach your toes first thing in the morning. 
You gasp as he leans over, thrusting further into you as he whispers in your ear. “Shh, I know. It’s the price we must pay for our sin.” His murmur relaxes you a bit, reassures you of what you’re doing. Joakim would not lead you astray; God had spoken to him, given him fortitude in the last months. This was His plan.
The stretch continues as he slowly slides further into you, until your bodies are joined completely. You’re panting, open-mouthed as he fills you entirely. Your toes are barely brushing against the ground from how far he’s pushed you into the desk, corners digging into your hips sharply. 
A soothing hand runs up and down your spine, unraveling the muscles that have been pulled taut with anticipation. Your breathing slows, body easing around the intrusion until only the sensation of fullness remains.
Joakim pulls back then, a slow movement that has you inhaling harshly as he drags along your inner walls. Your mouth goes to ask him what he’s doing, when he slams back into you, cutting off your train of thought in favor of gargling on your breath. 
“Oh my God,” You keen, eyes so wide they might bulge out of your head altogether. 
A jarring slap lands against your backside, stinging skin left in its wake. “Do not take the Lord’s name in vain.” Joakim rasps, sounding as out of breath as you do. 
He pulls back again, only to crash back into you a half-second later. The force of it jolts you, making you wail as your hands reach out for something, anything to hold onto. Documents and envelopes fly onto the floor in your frenzy, looking as haphazard as you feel. 
He continues at an unrelenting pace, hand still firmly gripping the base of your neck from behind. You know you’re being loud; A distant part of you even registers that, given the circumstances, you should probably be much, much quieter. You can’t bring yourself to care, though, an endless chant of Joakim’s name falling from your lips as you do what you can to grind back into him.
The hand leaves your neck, coming down to grab onto your hip while his other hand mirrors the action. Your pelvis is lifted off the desk, thrusts never even pausing as the new angle drives him deeper into you. Tears spring in your eyes from the overstimulation, having climaxed only a few short minutes ago. 
This is absolution, You think. Being tangled together, conjoined like this - There is no fear of sin, no guilt at succumbing to the lust-filled desires of the flesh. As Joakim plunges himself into you, over and over, you find yourself almost dizzy with relief at the weight lifted off your shoulders, the panic of condemnation a distant memory. 
His arm wraps around the front of your hips, holding you in place, as his free hand tangles into your hair, yanking your head towards him. 
“Say the Lord’s prayer.” He groans in your ear, breath hot and sticky. “Beg for His forgiveness. ‘Our Father-’”
“‘-Who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.” You whimper, the words slipping off your tongue like muscle memory as your body is rocked back and forth by his thrusts. “‘Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth-” Your voice is cut off by your own gasp as he reaches something in you that you’ve never felt before. Knees shaking, you dig your fingers deeper into the mess of papers surrounding you to try and stabilize yourself. 
“Keep going. ‘On Earth, as it is in Heaven.’” He urges, grip tightening on you. 
“‘Give us today our daily bread,’” You continue, moaning pitifully as he drives into that same spot again. “‘And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.’”
Tears stream freely down your cheeks now, a mixture of pleasure and overstimulation driving you mad. Joakim is mouthing at the junction of your neck and shoulder, tongue brushing over a spot that makes you shiver into him. A fire is building in your belly, lapping at the bottom of your throat as you move closer and closer to climax. 
“‘L-lead us not into temp- temptation,’” You stutter, mind hazy with want. “‘But d-deliver us from evil.’”
Joakim’s voice is back in your ear. “‘For thine is the Kingdom,” A harsh thrust, “‘The Power,” Another thrust, “And the Glory forever.’” 
The fire burns so hot that it rips the oxygen straight out of your lungs. Your eyes struggle to stay open, fluttering closed each time he rams into you. A particularly harsh pull of your hair reminds you that he is waiting for your response.
“Amen.” You whisper, vision going white as you climax, body twitching forcefully in his arms. His hips stutter once before he buries himself inside you, spilling his seed into you as he does. 
Whether you lay there for seconds or days, you don’t know. Eventually, Joakim pulls out, a string of his release coming with him, rolling down the inside of your thighs. You whimper at the loss, still too sensitive to move. 
“C’mon, käresta, we need to get you dressed. Your mother will wonder where you are.” His voice is gentle behind you, hand rubbing against your lower back to rouse you. 
Your joints pop in protest as you try to push yourself up off the desk. The room is a mess of papers and scattered writing utensils, your dress nothing more than a rumpled pile of cloth on the ground. 
You slip it over your head gingerly, every muscle in your body somehow sore. Joakim zips up the garment for you, running his hands over your clothed back, as if to smooth the wrinkles. 
Turning to face him, you’re met with a soft pair of lips to your forehead, dark hair brushing against your cheeks. The kiss makes you feel brave as you ask, “Joakim?”
His eyes are warm as he gazes down at you, his fingers coming up to comb through your tangled hair. “Hmm?” Is his response as he works out a particularly knotted strand.
You flutter your eyelashes, a move that feels foreign, but somehow right. Looking up at him demurely, you ask, “Will you be leading tonight’s Bible study?”
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inklore · 2 years
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suddenly thinking sooooo hard about shower sex with hangman kajdkshfks
veracious.
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series masterlist
pairing: jake ‘hangman’ seresin x (f)reader
word count: 977
warnings: eighteen+ content, shower sex, dirty talk, porn with feelings i guess, established enemies with benefits, pilot reader, secret relationship, mentions of phoenix and bob.
etc: wrote this in mind with it being a part of this piece but you don’t have to read it to read this. i might write a bigger piece with these two since that tgm brain rot is still going strong, depending on if anyone would want it or not lmao.
i do not give anyone permission to translate or repost my work, please be respectful — if you enjoyed please comment or reblog!
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“If you don’t be quiet they’re going to hear you.” His tone is laced in arrogance. Even with his hand over your mouth muffling your moans—even if his large palm wasn’t over your mouth—you both knew it wouldn't be any dent on his ego if anyone was to hear you.
It would be another win for him to get off on. Another way for him to make it more than obvious, without words, just how great Jake Seresin is.
You really need to stop boosting his ego. It’s sickening to watch him smirk after, or during, your little escapades; like he is now. Hangman’s lips at your ear, one hand over your mouth, the other gripping your hip, chest pressed into your back as he fucks you against the tiled wall.
The tiled walls—shower room—you share with your fellow aviators.
Anyone could walk in right now and catch a glimpse of the two of you fucking behind the flimsy curtain. No doubt everyone in a mile radius has heard your moans already.
“You didn’t..” Phoenix’s voice is laced in just as much disgust as her expression is.
“Didn’t what?”
“Fuck Seresin.” Her face scrunches into a grimace. Looks like she might actually be sick.
“I’d rather die!”
“Oh, yeah? Is that why he keeps eye fucking you from across the room,” she states, argues. “And why Bob said he saw the two of you leaving the deck like your asses were on fire, Seresin’s hands on said ass.”
Fuck, Bob. You’re searching the bar to send him a threatening scowl. That little shit. And fuck Hangman for not being able to keep his hands to himself—in most cases you could have chalked it up to the endless banter and arguments the two of you always found yourselves in. Keeping that facade of pure hatred going for the masses.
“Sweets,” she says your call sign like it’s a warning. Look turning from grossed out to serious, “getting involved with him is the last thing you need on your conscience.”
“We’re not involved!” You huff, “like I said, I’d rather die.”
After all of you had come back from the bar, you’d waited until the halls were pilot free to set on an angry march to Hangman’s room. Only to have Coyote answering his door with a “he’s in the showers” paired with a smirk you wanted to smack off of his face.
And that’s where you found him, naked and soaping his chest as you yanked back the curtain.
“We need to stop this,” hands crossed over your chest, eyes trying to stay focused on his face and not…further…down.
“Well, good evening to you too, Sweets.” Now was not the time for his aggravating smirk because you really might punch him for it.
“Bob saw us!”
“Did he?” He’s completely unphased, turning his back to the faucet to rinse it.
“Yes! And I’d rather no one else know-”
“Think you and I both know it’s too late for that.”
You scowl at him, even though you knew he was right. Fuck him for being right, fuck Bob, and fuck you for falling for those pretentious pretty boy charms in the first place.
“Mine as well keep giving them something to talk about.” His smirk grew, showing off those perfect white teeth of his, before he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you into the shower with him, pressing your lips together in a rough kiss.
Which is how you got here.
The hard snap of his hips making your ass ripple, your thighs pressed together in a way that makes it feel like Hangman’s cock is tearing you in two.
“Would you like that, baby?” You want to gag at the pet name, want to elbow him in the ribs. Want to do a lot of things but he’s rolling his hips in that way that has the tip of his cock touching that spot inside of you that makes stars blur your vision. “Everyone already knows you’re mine. Even you know it.” His teeth bite at your ear, his heavy pants filling your eardrums when he’s not. So all you can hear is him—the sounds of his skin slapping yours, his grunts, pants, your wetness drowning out the run of the water hitting the tile—all you can feel is him.
A trend of the way Hangman fucks, lives. Center of attention, in the sky, on land, in the bedroom. Wants everyone to know he’s the one they're admiring or pissed off at.
In your case: the one fucking you. The one who drives you insane but you can’t get enough off.
And you’d hate him for it, should hate him for it. Should have let the embarrassment of Phoenix finding out ward you off of him for the rest of your life. If this was a year ago you know you’d still despise him and be giving him shit right now. But so much time has passed. A tension come and gone and only resolved between the two of you by fucking.
His thrusts pick up speed, his grunts echoing deeper in his chest. The hand on your hip falls between your legs to rub the pad of his index finger against your clit, “you’re my girl, right?”
The strangled moan you let out as you nod frantically is something you’ll deny later. Know your cheeks will burn when he passes you in the rec room, putting on your big show of hating him in front of everyone; “thought you were my girl” he’ll whisper against your ear and it’ll simultaneously make you scowl and flutter between your legs.
Because yeah, maybe you were his girl and maybe you didn’t care who knew—you cared a whole lot actually—but just as long as he kept fucking you like this, it lightened the blow of everyone knowing.
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terraco-07 · 28 days
Text
HSBC direction and character writing
So the team has released the writer's commentary early to the public most likely because they know how inflammatory the last update is/has been and wanted to get the reasoning behind it out there. Going to be going through it piece by piece here. Disclaimer: None of my opinions and thoughts are directed at the people as individuals and any criticism is directed at the writing itself. With that said, lets start off. Haven saying “this is the update where we’re gonna see if people are really rockin’ with us or not.” Lmao yep and I can assure you that I'm not one of them. I think we're seeing the end results though of a years bleeding fandom here though. Most people who enjoyed Homestuck either didn't read the epilogues or HS2 because they knew it was something they wouldn't like and didn't care for the direction of taking away the kids victory and giving them some new battle to fight while hurting each character. Those remaining are primarily people who are curious, neutral, or liked the official releases after Homestuck ended. Among them I'm sure a fair amount have liked this because this is already a work catered to them and what they want for better or worse. Anyways, moving on. So the next part just goes over everyone liking Yiffy and her getting a voice and all that, not much to comment on here. Which is a non issue except still making Rose and Jade call their kid a type of porn and keeping that was such a choice, but hey silly candy timeline right? Okay moving on to the conversation that matters. Okay starting with Floral: "Kanaya has long earned this confrontation and she’s not going to accept anything less than the truth." JAMES: This is the funniest line in Homestuck. This is so fucking funny because she gets cut off half way through and then the you fucked my wife being memed to hell in back both took any bite out of it and visibly made me cringe to read. Kanaya is mad here but there are other ways to write it. Would have loved to see a rant about "If you loved me so much Jade why would you betray my trust? Why would you not speak to me. Now you choose to spit in my face like this?" Etc etc. I may genuinely re-write every Kanaya part in this log at some point. I did do an alt version already but that's neither here nor there. Compliments for the art which deserve it! BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP GOING "Pretty art" AND EXCUSE BAD WRITING. I've had to read "I'm just using it as a picture book" and "I skipped through the logs" way too fucking much. JAMES: This one was for the sapphics. The most important demographic that exists. ... saying this while obliterating the biggest endgame sapphic romance? But hey guys!! Kanaya's hot right? This makes it all better :) Especially considering compared to Homestuck proper the epilogues and HS2 have just felt actively hostile towards sapphics FLORAL: This scene is also only one small part of the larger puzzle, bridging between what already existed in HS2 to what we want to do deeper into HS:BC. A puzzle that most of us aren't going to want to figure out. The question of if something is bad for the first 500-1000 pages is it worth consuming will always be no. Also points of expanding the border of Homestuck 1 BUT WE NEVER GET TO SEE THIS. I'm going to hit more on this later but Rose specifically there's so little or no direct foundational build up to her current character choices.
MILES: Yeah, seriously.  I felt viscerally going in that it was really important that Kanaya get some time to just be a stone cold bitch, both in the context of this particular marital fuck-up and in general.  She deserves it. So I'm on my hands and knees begging you guys to learn how to write badass powerful women that doesn't involve them just getting angry because their wife cheated. Hands and fucking knees. This goes for any writing in general but if you have to develop a character through purely negative experiences I'm not sure you should be writing. This whole entire scenario with Rosemary is such a cheap drama soap opera point to begin with (like a lot of HS2). Why can't we let Kanaya be her own fucking person and have shit going on, do something in the war, get to have moments like this in relation to Jane.
FLORAL:  Was so excited for this panel when we were first outlining the update. I had a lot of feelings about how we should move forward from the initial Yiffy reveal, but justification for these narrative choices only matter inside of the text itself, and this is only a tip of a much larger iceberg.
That said, what has always appealed to me the most about Candy in Beyond Canon is that it’s an opportunity to explore alt. selves to the max and start finding the missing “Meat” to Candy’s unbalanced and unsatisfying narrative. The irony for me on this is it was written about the fucking Jojo ass posing Rose which is in my opinion the worst panel in the update. Rose being turned into a comical villain for the sole reason of shaking things up in Candy. Justifications in the text is a great way of putting it and before this we had very very little. The idea of telling us afterwards well it was all apart of the grand plan when barely any time ago we have Rose thanking John for how happy she was to have her life the way it is here. Rose suddenly going ahh apathy my true love and going from a loveable and complex character to this flat cardboard cut out is the biggest crime of this update. The I knew you would forgive me part too. Just. GIRL HOW?? Rose Lalonde who first lost her seer powers in Candy, second the same girl who couldn't even see her friends all dying and her failing in game over. This girl? She saw 15 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE and knew Kanaya would just get it. Roll over like a good wife and be okay. I didn't know she was a seer of time now? This is the worst line in the entire update simply because it implies that Rose has gone off the deep end in the least interesting way and is now an unreliable narrator or that Kanaya is actually going to forgive her and holy fuck that would be the actual worst way to take this. Not beating the NTR kink allegations HS2 writers. Also spoiler alert it's unsatisfying because everyone in it gets fucked over by writing choices as baseless and useless as these. You're perpetuating the problem.
HAVEN: The world hasn't felt real to Rose since she was 16, this life is like a game to her. For her, a war is just “something to do.” Also man while this was a route that I didn't like for the epilogues either there are so many other ways to handle this than the one chosen. But that would require a rewrite from the start of HS2 which already put on this shit show. I still wholeheartedly believe that none of the things listed here justify Rose's behavior to Kanaya. As the one anchor point she's had her entire adult life. FLORAL: It’s a little sad that even during a Rosemary moment, it's never really about Rosemary, huh? Then later- "There really needed to be a joke here, too, to sell the emotional drop the next page brings" Kettle, meet pot. Whatever could be the cause for nothing ever being about them and the pair being relegated to background bullshit? Who's to say indeed. But hey! They're at the forefront now, and only for the most basic and cheap drama ways. Also I loathe this mentality about there needing to be a joke. You're clearly writing this for adults at this point a joke isn't required a real look at the situation is. The gag at the end where the convo gets ended is enough to break the tension for the reader.
FLORAL: There’s catalyst events, sure, but ask a few questions and it becomes apparent everything rides on the history of smaller fights, disappointment, sweeped away passive aggressions, miscommunication and unsaid hurt feelings.
This is why writing characters in their 40’s is great and why there is so much to do in Candy. Behind all the patented Homestuck misdirection and narrative unreliability, you’re left with an offshoot full of alternate selves at their lowest, layered in apathy and evidently not saying what they think Once again we aren't shown this. We just get told about it later and that's incredibly unsatisfying as a reader. Explaining it further down the line and doing more justification later does not help this either. I think also the idea that everyone in their middle aged years is jaded and apathetic is such a lame ass direction to go in. The idea that no one is allowed to be happy after everything they went through in the game is still one of the most frustrating things. I'm asking anyone why would someone want to read that? Why do you think the fandom imploded after this and that the people left mostly enjoy either soap opera trauma or torture porn (which HS2 is both)
like sitting down with a highschool friend you lost touch with 20 years ago and have only known about through concerning Facebook posts. So we're fully aware of the problem and just going this is a feature. Got it. So the commentary ends there and I'm just kind of left feeling as hollow and empty as before. I have zero faith that we can dig into any of these characters in a meaningful way but especially the more complicated women. This reads as coming back to them 20 years later so we can write them how we want or how we envisioned them without having to come up with in text validation. Reminds me of late season Game of Thrones writing. Guys how we got here is important. Anyways in summary HS2 remains a dour, unfun read of characters going through a perpetual state of torture and emotional suffering while we forever get told "Wait but there's more!" But hey. Happy Rosemary, glad they won that poll. Maybe the little thing James is going to do for the fandom is just kill them off to save them from this torment. As a writer myself it's just painful to read and I want to re-write it all times
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gamerwoo · 1 year
Text
Hyunjin: Age-Restricted (Part One)
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Characters: Hyunjin x female reader (ft best friends/ex-roommates!Chan, Minho, and Seungmin.......and Jisung is there lmao)
Genre/warnings: nanny!reader, boy next door/neighbor!hyunjin, virgin!reader, fluff ig, some humor, mentions of Chan doing OF, reader has anxiety and self-esteem issues, mentions of bad porn plots, one mention of reader being around hyunjin’s height and having big hands (but this is one of the few times i mention reader’s appearance in this series), it’s mentioned that reader is in her 20′s, reader may or may not have a hand kink lmao, minors dni!!!
Word count: 2,889
Summary: You think it’s luck when the new family you nanny for is so stupid rich that they rent you a fancy new apartment just so you can live closer to them. You think it’s luck when the guy across the hall is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your entire life and makes an effort to talk to you. But that’s just about where your luck runs out, because Hyunjin is more out of your league than you could ever imagine, and you’re just some hopeless virgin who never had good luck in the first place.
Permanent tag list (italics are unable to tag): @minluvly @awkwardnesshabitat @woozarts @septicrebel @4kwp @thepencilkorner @shmooooo​ [be added to the taglist by filling out this form!]
Next | Series Masterlist
“Last box?” Jisung huffed as he almost dropped the large cardboard box full of your stuff onto the tiled kitchen floor. He stood up straight and looked at you with pain on his features. “Please tell me that’s the last box.”
“I don’t know why you’re complaining when you showed up late,” Seungmin told him with a frown, leaning against the center counter while he tried to catch his breath.
“Well I hardly even know _____, so you’re lucky I showed up at all,” he spat back.
Jisung was one of Chan’s friends, and Chan was one of your friends – one of three that you had since moving. The rest of your friends were left back in your hometown, so all you got was the occasional text when it was convenient for either of you. 
For a little while, you were crammed into an apartment made for three people, and those three were Chan, Minho, and Seungmin. The trio needed another roommate to afford rent and avoid being evicted, so it was Minho and Seungmin who took two of the bedrooms, Chan offered you the third bedroom, and he slept on the couch. Once you got comfortable, though, you ended up rooming with Chan – he made a great roommate since he was always awake doing something until 5am when he’d return to the bedroom and sleep until noon.
But then you got a new job – well, same job but new family. As a nanny, you knew your kids would eventually get too old or their parents would get new jobs or whatever reason that they’d decide they didn’t need your services anymore. In this case, the twins you were in charge of had gotten into some daycare that their parents were on a waitlist for forever. Childcare was hard to get into since it was in such high demand, but it was also hard to afford – not like money was an issue for the family you worked for considering their house. But since their kids got in, they essentially had to fire you.
“But,” the father told you with a growing smile, “we know a family who could use a good nanny, and we want to recommend you – if you’re interested.”
You were interested, but then you found out how far away they lived. They lived on the outskirts of some busy city in a fancy gated community that would take several hours by train to get to. But the mother and father insisted that you meet with them anyway because maybe they could work something out if they liked you enough.
Maybe it was that they liked you that much, or maybe they were just that rich, but they rented an apartment nearby for you to live in – and it was a nice apartment. It was the kind of place only rich people could afford, with several ovens, a nice fridge that you could knock on and it would light up, and one of those fancy jacuzzi bathtubs that you thought only rich people or hotels could own when you were a kid. And all of this was included in your contract to nanny their three-year-old-son, Seojoon, and their one-year-old-son, Hajoon.
“So can we crash here with you now, or…?” Minho asks, his question hanging in the air as he raises a brow.
“What, can’t afford rent without me still?” you smirk. “I always knew I was the real breadwinner.”
“Look, if I could find a rich parent with kids–”
“They weren’t that rich,” you interject, referencing your old family.
“These people are, though!” Jisung bursts as he throws his hands in the air and looks around the space that you now call yours. “Holy shit, this place is sick! Yo, you need a roomie?”
Seungmin narrowed his eyes, “You just said you hardly know her.”
“We’re besties, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jisung stated completely deadpan with a shrug.
“How does one get themselves into the nannying business, might I ask?” Chan wondered with a smile that had ‘mischief’ written all over it.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, Mr. Onlyfans,” you teased. “I’m sure parents will love that.”
Chan’s face turned bright red as he tilted his head down to the counter and let out a long sigh, “Alright, never mind…”
You didn’t actually think anything of Chan trying to do Onlyfans for money – actually, you kind of envied his confidence. But you did unfortunately see and hear on a couple occasions, all the cringey stuff he had to say and do to get any sort of traction. But he did gain traction, and despite being faceless to avoid issues like a possible future employer finding him, he was making enough money to afford the rent without you. He might’ve been paying more than ⅓ of it, but at least him and his friends weren’t homeless.
Jisung let out a groan, “Don’t remind me about the Onlyfans. That shit haunts my dreams.”
“Don’t you mean nightmares?” Seungmin asked with furrowed brows that melted to show an evil smile. “Unless…”
“Ew! No– Fuck off, Seungmin!”
As Jisung threw packing paper from one of the boxes at Seungmin, and Seungmin began happily teasing the older boy about his possible wet dreams of Chan while Jisung threw even more brown paper at him, Minho seemed basically oblivious to it all as he let out a deep sigh and ended it with, “I’m hungry.”
Chan rolled his eyes, mumbling, “I deal with a bunch of toddlers…”
“Can we get lunch before we unpack?” Minho whined, looking to Chan for the answer. “Channie, can you order us something?”
“Well, here’s your nannying gig you wanted so badly,” you giggled.
-
You looked around at the open living/kitchen area that was now mostly decorated. There were a few small things here and there, but most of your stuff was put in a place that seemed suitable. You at least didn’t have to worry about furnishings like a coffee table or chairs for the island – the owners made sure the apartment came furnished when they found out all your furniture belonged to your roommates.
You checked the time on your phone. 7:48. Good timing, honestly. Your bedroom was only half decorated since there were some things in some boxes that you did not want your friends – and Jisung – seeing, but everything was put away in the kitchen and moved how you liked it, and the living room was presentable. Your toiletries were away in cabinets in the bathroom or in the shower, and towels were folded neatly away. Clothes were folded in drawers or in your closet, but underwear and bras and any lingerie you bought on a whim was still put away in a box that Jisung had opened before screaming and accidentally knocking it over in his race to get up and away from it. But overall, it took about 5 hours to get settled in.
A knock at the door made you jump.
You were never an ‘answer the door’ kind of person. Chan was the one who answered the door. Minho would if he had to, and so would Seungmin, but Minho wasn’t a people-person, and Seungmin just didn’t feel like talking to any of the neighbors or the delivery guy – yet this kid was somehow an extrovert. Chan would warmly speak to whoever was knocking at the door. You? You had family friends thinking you were mute or non-verbal because you never spoke. You were painfully shy as a child which blossomed into full-blown anxiety as you got older – but still painfully shy.
But you figured it was maybe the landlord or the parents that you worked for now. So you walked to the front door and looked through the peephole.
Who you saw was definitely not the parents, though you would probably call him daddy if he asked. You wondered if he was the landlord, in which place you considered one of those bad pornos where the girl can’t pay for whatever service she was getting and offered alternate means of payment.
‘Yeah, not even in your fucking dreams would you have the balls for that,’ you told yourself.
You undid the two locks on your door and then the chain before opening the door and smiling at the stranger, who had already began smiling warmly before the door was even open. His eyes crinkled as his full lips stretched into the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen.
He was tall, had long, dark hair that was half-up in a ponytail on the back of his head, and looked like he was hand-sculpted by a god. His body, while you couldn’t tell the exact shape since his clothes were a bit on the baggy side, was well proportioned – you could stare at his body proportions all day, especially in his black joggers, windbreaker, and white t-shirt underneath. Still, you could tell he was lean. He looked…cool. And oh-so stunning.
“Hi,” he grinned, holding up a hand in a motionless wave. “I’m sorry, this is probably a little weird, but I noticed you moved in today. Well, not like I watched you move in, but I saw the trucks and heard you and your friends coming up with the boxes.”
“Oh, yeah,” you chuckled, trying your best to make normal conversation even though your brain was short-circuiting the whole time, “they’re pretty loud. Sorry about that.”
“Oh, no worries at all!” he assured you. “They’re kinda funny, actually. Who’s the small one with the brown hair? Almost looks like a coconut?”
You snorted, breaking into a real grin instead of a forced, polite one to hide your anxiety, “Probably Jisung.”
“Yeah, he’s funny,” he nodded.
“I mean, he’s something,” you shrugged, still laughing softly.
“Oh, right,” he seemed to remember why he even knocked in the first place. “I’m your neighbor. I live across the hall and thought I should introduce myself or something since you’re new. I kinda heard you say something about having no friends, so here I am!”
Right, the breathless and annoyed comment you made walking down the hall, carrying a box in your arms while Minho was nagging you about when you were going to throw a ‘sick house-warming rager’ and you had to tell him your only friends were him and the other two boneheads he lived with, and they were now about 2 hours away from you.
And back to the awkward polite smile and laugh you went, exclaiming, “Well, thanks for the gesture! I’m _____.”
As he moved to hold his hand out to shake yours, he seemed to pause, mouth open like he wanted to say something, but he stayed silent for a second too long.
“Hyunjin,” he finally said, though it sounded…off. Almost unsure. “My name’s Hyunjin.”
‘Maybe he’s also full of anxiety.’
“Nice to meet you,” you told him as you shook his hand.
His was so much warmer than yours. And seemed a bit bigger, which surprised you since you seemed to be similar heights and you had the biggest hands in your entire anatomy class your senior year – that was a weird contest looking back on the memory. You glanced at his hand as he pulled it away – maybe you had a thing for hands, so what? – to see his hands seemed strong but delicate with long, slim fingers.
As if you needed another reason to have a crush on this seemingly-perfect random man.
No, not random man. Man who lives across the hall.
“I’m sure we’ll see each other pretty often, so feel free to say hi,” he offered with shrug. “Or if you need help with anything like building furniture or something, let me know. Since we’re friends now and stuff.”
“Cool,” you nodded, feeling your face get hot for absolutely no reason, “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Hope so,” he said in a tone that made you feel…things. But it was quickly brushed off as he said, “I won’t keep you any longer since you’re probably still moving stuff around. I’ll see you later, _____.”
“Yeah, of course. Thanks, Hyunjin,” you replied before closing the door.
Hyunjin. His name just felt good to say. Of course a super gorgeous person would have a nice name like Hyunjin.
‘Thank god it’s not something like Carl or Eustace. Imagine dating someone named Eustace, or moaning like, Timmy or something,’ you thought to yourself before quickly reminding yourself, ‘What does it matter? You don’t have a shot.’
That was the harsh reality. You’d let yourself fantasize while you fell asleep at night, but the truth was you knew it was impossible. You were average-looking at best, so insecure and hyper-aware of what everyone might possibly be thinking about you, and to top it all off: you were still a virgin in your 20’s. How were you going to explain that one to a guy who seemed like he could pull anyone? 
You weren’t. Because there was no chance someone like Hyunjin would be interested in you.
‘Don’t say that!’ you automatically heard Chan in your head like he was living there, too. ‘Don’t ever put yourself down because you’re amazing as you are, and somebody out there will think so too.’
“Thanks, dad…” you mumbled to yourself as you shuffled back into your apartment.
-
“So how do you like the apartment?” Mrs. Park asked after they were caught up on how your first day with their children went.
“It’s so nice!” you gushed. “Thank you guys so much again for doing this for me.”
“It’s nothing, sweetheart,” Mr. Yoon promised, waving the matter away. “We���ve heard all about how you treated Marcus and Maisy and how well their English has gotten, and Donggun and Jiwon loved you so much. We had to do anything we could to have you be Seojoon and Hajoon’s nanny.”
“Truthfully, we don’t trust just anyone,” Mrs. Park admitted. “These nanny sites say all these people are certified, but I’ve heard so many horror stories from the girls at the salon.”
“We’ve been friends with Donggun and Jiwon for years, so we trust their judgment,” Mr. Yoon agreed. “Plus, the twins always seemed happy and healthy when we saw them. We could tell their family adored you.”
Your cheeks were heating at their compliments, and your smile reached your eyes as you held your hands to your chest, “Aw, thank you! That really means a lot to me. Honestly, the boys are such easy kids. Seojoon’s so sweet, and he really knows how to make someone laugh, huh?”
“He really is something,” Mr. Yoon chuckled. “Well, we hope you find your new place as cozy as your last. We understand moving somewhere new can be scary, but everybody who lives at The Brooke is nice.”
“And safe,” Mrs. Park interjected, pointing a finger at her husband and then at you, giving you a pointed look. “Living alone as a woman is frightening, but I assure you, not just anybody can live at The Brooke.”
Yeah, that was something that crossed your mind. Honestly, moving in with three boys was nerve-wracking enough even if your high school best friend knew them. She reached out after her second year of college because her roommate’s brother was Chan, and she told her that he and his roommates were looking for a roommate, and she told you because she knew you were looking to move out of your mom’s place but couldn’t afford living alone. But it kinda felt like pure luck that that worked out. 
But now you were alone. If somebody broke in, there was no Chan to wrestle them to the ground if he had to. There was no Seungmin with his baseball bat that he kept behind his door. There was no Minho there to go feral with a kitchen knife. It was just you, who typically had ‘freeze’ as their fight or flight response – the ‘secret third option’ as you called it.
However, you knew The Brooke was basically for only rich people. It was all elite people who were influencers or businessmen and women, and the like. They weren’t necessarily trying to tell you those people were background checked, but they were basically saying poor people didn’t live there because poor people were the bad people.
Gotta love rich people logic.
But then that made you wonder who Hyunjin was. Truth be told, you weren’t really keeping up with the latest influencers or ‘It’ people. He seemed like he’d be some trendy influencer that a bunch of girls thirsted after, but you figured you would’ve seen him on social media somewhere, right? But he didn’t really seem like a businessman if you were going based off of his aesthetic. Maybe he just came from money.
“The Brooke is full of the best of the best,” Mr. Yoon continued. “Remember that if you ever feel nervous.”
You smiled warmly, “Right, thank you.”
“Alright, we won’t keep you,” Mrs. Park smiled, gesturing for you to follow her so she could show you out. “Go get some rest, okay? We’re glad you had a good first day.”
“I’m really looking forward to getting to know Seojoon and Hajoon more. Have a good night!”
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thana-topsy · 3 months
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Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.
Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.
I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!
Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.
I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.
I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.
Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.
And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.
Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.
Happy New Year!
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keeponquinning · 5 months
Text
Here with Me — The Pros and Cons — Part One
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Joseph Quinn x Latina!Fem!Novelist!Reader — RPF — 18+
word count — 19.5k
summary — it's your birthday weekend and you're working. at the local con in LA, so things could be worse. you have your friends with you, as you're going through a dry spell, creatively. in between signings and a lot of nothing to do, you go to the nearby bar with your friends to kill the time before your late night panel with your peers and one trip from your table to the bar? well... that's the start of everything....
warnings — first off, RPF!! if not your thing, scroll! be nice, if thinking of being mean, think twice! i hope that rhymed. no smut in this chapter, though there are adult talk, cursing, reader is latina ( that shouldn't be a warning but kinda a heads up ) and there is some talk of that. bit of a surprise guest near the end ( think big blue eyes ) mention of porn. reader has a personality, if that's not your thing.... I understand. i tried to make this as entertaining as possible, no use of y/n. bit of mama joe and also a bit of pervy joe, but loads of charming joe.
notes — god, this was a LONG time coming. i'm trying to concentrate on this series, so i'll be working on part two as soon as i post this, but slowly. editing for the first time was fun, def added and changed a few stuff. so i hope it flows a bit nicer. i hope ya'll like this, it was fun to write and share with a few friends, shout out to @quinnypixie as being my beta in the way of me sending pages bc i'm a slut for comments and validation lmao saying that, please leave a comment if you liked this!! I appreciate the likes, of course, but nothing makes me more giddy than comments. only if you want, of course, but if you're feeling shy, so don't be! i wanna hear your guys take on this. i have total tinkerbell syndrome, i need applause to LIVE. enjoy guys!
tagging — @babybluebex , @quinnypixie , @inourtownofhawkins , @musicoverall , @seatnights , @figmentofquinn , @birdysaturne, @tomhollandseyes , @notverywise , @live-love-be-unique , @shanalynnphotos , @mmunson86 , @haylaansmi , @cestpresqueparfait , @iaminlovewithdilfs , @anaofthebarricade , @wolfiescosplay , @ailathealternate , @maximus2354, @j0qw , @missonlypost , @stabthecrab , @hanavakiih , @mrsmunsonxquinn , @rhapsodicaesthete , @elain00 , @drawdownthem00n , @munson-enthusiast , @roset01 , @alyssaaaaa-r , @josephmunson99 , @munsonsgirl71 , @ariegoldhouse , @rainbowbubbles9 , @justheretoreadleavemealone , @muns0nslov3r , @bluegalaxyprime , @k-corbett , @eddiemunsonsrighttoe , @rememberwhen-it-rained , @thoughtsoftheantagonist , @pvssy-destroyer , @joescigarettes , @jasminearondottir , @joeqluver , @babybat-95
( note, some of you i tried to tag but your blog wouldn't show up, if anyone knows a fix for this, let me know! )
wanna be tagged? click here and like the masterlist!
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It always strikes you as odd that a big wall of noise could drive you crazy anywhere else — except at a bar and grill. Then, it seems comforting, almost, the sounds of clinking glasses, laughter��� The floating of bits of conversation slithering into your ear, heard, but not quite understood. There was an odd sense of comfort to it, the scents of food wafting in the air as well, which made you thankful for the food in front of you.
The food that was intended to be shared was most definitely not.
How annoying.
“Why are you guys sleeping on the loaded fries?” came your voice, after scarfing down yet another forkful and chased it with a coke. Looking at your friends, sticking to their own plates of mozzarella sticks and onion rings, you let out a laugh. “I’m gonna end up eating this whole damn plate and then hearing about me being greedy and not sharing, you know this.”
Your brows raised at your best friend and her fiancé, their dishes having been shared with each other, half and half. “I’m feeling like you’re putting me down for my love of fries with,” you paused, plucking a clean edged one, “...creamy nacho cheese sauce, bacon, scallions, and mm, sour cream.” Popping it into your mouth, you lean back in your seat, the sounds of the bar swirling around you, chuckling softly. “What gives?”
Jen, your best friend, rolled her eyes. “You think I don’t want some?”
“You haven’t reached at all for it, not commented on it, nothing, which is unusual for you, wench.”
“Oh, I want some. I want some so bad! But…” She leaned back, dipping her mozzarella stick in marinara, “I’m being good, and leaving your plate alone. No mooching food from the birthday girl, that’s my rule.”
Ah. Right. There was that. A smile stretched across your face as you watched her bite and pull the mozzarella stick away, impressed by the cheese pull. “How uncharacteristically kind of you.”
“It was my suggestion,” the male voice of Gerry piped up. “Trust me, she would have demolished it by now if I didn’t.” 
“It looks so good,” Jen concurred, shaking her head. “We’re getting one.” Dusting her hands together. “Gerry, we’re getting one and we’re splitting.”
Gerry raised his brows, “Meaning… I get a few and it’s mainly you.” 
“Obviously,” his fiancée let out, as if there was even a need to question it. 
You chuckled, feeling a bit brighter with your friends there. Jen and Gerry being more like a lifeline when you really needed it. And today? This weekend? You most definitely did. “What about we get some sliders, too? I still got… One panel later. The late panel, the spicy panel, so I gotta get my wit on high and I can’t do that if I’m hungry. And fries, as lovely as they are… Won’t cut it.” 
“How was it?” Jen asked, taking one of Gerry’s onion rings, dipped in ranch before taking a bite. 
“The signing?” Once she nodded, you let out a sigh, sinking back into your seat. “I… It was okay. I mean, it’s pretty awesome that people still read my books. Even bringing physical copies, I fucking love that, but…” A groan left you, tilting your head up toward the ceiling. “God, I wish I had something more substantial to say when they ask me when’s the next book coming out or…if I’m working on something. Instead of just putting on that forced smile and whipping out an upbeat, ‘we’ll see!’ I almost wanna admit I have nothing, but half-baked ideas and blank pages and I actually have no idea when or if that’s ever gonna change.” 
And that was the rub of it. The reason you had wished you skipped the convention this time around. You loved them, usually. Loved meeting your readers, talking and discussing the industry and process with your fellow writers — most of whom you admired and couldn’t believe they even knew you. But the fact you had nothing but your past books to draw from, no new content to share, it was starting to weigh heavily on you. Not feeling as active as you should be. You felt as if you were letting everyone down — and, oh yeah, it was your birthday. Nothing like a birthday to really hammer in the fact that more time has passed and nothing to show for it. 
You felt a heavy boot, the heel nudging your foot harshly enough to let out a soft cry. Furrowed brow lifted, narrowing your eyes at Gerry. “Ow. What the fuck, dude?” 
Brushing back his long, dark locks from his face, he leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of him. “You know you’re going to do it, right?” he asked, eyeing you. “It’s not like you’re sitting around and doing nothing, you’re active. You come up with ideas — half baked, yeah, but they’re ideas. Do you know how many songs end up in the trash bin before I even play it for the other guys? So many. It’s the same thing, those half-written stories you scrap, there just hasn’t been a story that stuck, that’s worth reaching toward an end. It’ll come, it’s not like a hobby for you, we all know that. You just gotta remember that for yourself.” 
Jen looked impressed, smiling at Gerry, brushing her fingers through his hair. “He’s right, you know,” she added, looking at you. “C’mon, Wench, I know it’s been….”
“Two years,” you finish for her, brows rising. “It’s been two fucking years…” 
“Yeah, okay, it’s been two fucking years. It happens, okay? It doesn’t mean anything—”
Oh, God, you thought and instinct took over, leading you to stand up from the table, a quick, “Yup, I’m gonna get those fries and sliders, yeah? Another round of drinks?”
Jen looked at you, crossing her arms in front of her, tilting her head. “I fucking know you. This is a rough patch, a dry spell, things that are temporary…” Trying hard for you to listen, brows raised. “You got this.”
In your head, or at least in some small part, you knew she was right. That they both were right. It wasn’t just empty words being used to placate you; they knew you. Always honest with you, never were they the people that would bullshit you just to build you up and have nothing to back it up. Self-doubt was a bitch, though, and instead of taking it to heart, you took a deep breath, put on a smile and said, “We’ll see.” Pushing yourself away from the table, ignoring the furrowed brow on Jen, pointing to the glasses in front of them, “Another round, loaded fries and sliders.” 
With a sigh, she gave a nod, “Yeah, yeah that sounds good. This talk isn’t over, but I’ll let it slide for your birthday.”
You let out a laugh, giving a nod. “Very kind of you, Wench.” Smiling at them both, you turn toward the bar and head off. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she called out, leaning back in her seat. “Okay, what are we gonna do with her?”
Light colored eyes looked over at her, lifting his hand to gesture between them, “...this. What we’re doing now.”
Brows rose at that, challengingly at him. “...and that would be…?”
Giving her a shrug, he said, quite simply, “Being here. Encouraging…” Leaning over to her, equally as challenging as she was. “...but not forcing it.” 
A heavy sigh left your best friend's lips, knowing Gerry was right, but not liking it. “Yeah, okay,” she relented, eyeing your plate with a handful of fries, letting out a huff as she pulled the plate towards herself. She met Gerry’s raised brows, raising her own, “What? She’s getting more, this doesn’t count,” taking a forkful and into her mouth with a moan. “I knew it. So good.” 
He laughed, shaking his head, plucking one of his onion rings. 
It was crowded, it was summer, the tail end of it where it lingered longer than anyone would have liked and yearned for the fall — though pumpkin spice would be on everyone’s mind early anyway. The first day of the convention weekend, as well, made the bar crowded and buzzing with excitement from its patrons. There was some pity for those heavy in costume, the layers of clothing would not do well with the insistent heat, though you found yourself admiring the wardrobe anyway. Still, you were grateful for the summer attire of cut off jean shorts, a tank top and — a flannel shirt you wore open that was currently sitting at the back of your chair at your table with your friends. It was worn more for modesty’s sake during the afternoon when you were in work mode, but the heat of the weather and the people buzzing around you? Fuck modesty, you were hot. 
Your ankle boots were probably not the smartest choice, admittedly, and you hated cliches, however… They were your favorite pair, your cutest pair, and it was your birthday, so you wanted to indulge. Remarkably comfortable with the heel, thank the retail gods for padded cushions at the balls of your feet, but it did make getting across a room of crowded people…difficult. 
Twisting and turning to swerve and weave in between, your lips in a constant state of letting out sorry and excuse me, sorry, you started to curse at yourself for doing this on your own. Hindsight is a bitch like that, you’re finding. You smile helplessly as you pass by a couple, one dressed as Geralt of Rivia and Yennefer, quite notably, before turning and that’s when it happened. An uneven crack on the floor, just inches from the bar, and the toe of your treasured booties? Yeah, hit right smack into it, making your body lurch forward. The worst fear hitting you, much like the floor would be soon, you were going to eat it. You were going to fall and smack your head on the floor. Fuck. Fuck. In a crowd of people who, coincidentally, seemed to have parted because suddenly all you could feel was air. 
And then a strong pair of arms, steady hands and warm chest. 
Suddenly you weren’t meeting the floor but standing upright with unsteady feet still firmly on the ground. Strong hands were holding you along your waist, your hands gripping tight onto pair forearms, heart racing, mind reeling. Did that just happen? Jesus Christ. You leaned forward, plush against his chest. Very warm, broad shoulders, crisp linen buttoned shirt and… Smelling really good, not recognizing the scent, male cologne, sort of woodsy with a bit of citrus. A sharp contrast to the scent of lavender and vanilla of some off brand  perfume you got from Amazon. His scent, it even smelled of a big brand, expensive bottle, the ones you’d never bring yourself to buy yourself. But it smelled really good. 
“Shit, you okay?” came his voice, sounding warm yet concerned, but the accent was what you cling onto the most. As it always did when you heard an accent clearly not American. “You almost—”
“Yeah, yeah, that…” Your eyes widened, straightened your back, eyes flashing to his for a mere second before looking at the bar, brows raising. “Oh god, if I tripped… If I fell…” Taking a deep breath, realizing your earlier thought of hitting the floor was off the mark, in actuality… “Oh, I would have hit my head right smack at the edge. I would’ve died. I would have bled, it would have been such a mess around all these people, oh, that would’ve been embarrassing.”
He gave a snort, and if you looked up, you would have seen his brows raised and an amused smile stretch over his face. “...I… I’m not sure embarrassing would be quite the word. Traumatic, horrible, something along those lines, surely...”
But you shook your head, “No, no, if I were to die on my birthday, that would be an irony that I would be known forever about, and I can’t have that,” you ended with a soft laugh, bringing your eyes to his face, your savior, and you find him chuckling at that, lips stretched wider in a smile and eyes, a chocolate brown, twinkling with what you hope is amusement.
And that’s when you really look at him, the brown curls which on top sat his shades. Big, brown eyes, that chocolate brown looking at you with raised brows, scruffy beard making him seem more… You didn’t know what, but you liked it. “...fair point,” he conceded, letting out an airy laugh, giving a nod. “That… I still don’t know about it being embarrassing, but the irony, that, yeah, I could see that. Erm, happy birthday, glad I was here so we could avoid all that.”
“I…” You had escaped death, but realizing who had saved you from that death was making you a bit more insane in your head. Smiling wide, giving a nod, “Yeah, that… Um… Thank you, for that, that was… Kinda saved my life — No, you did save my life, there’s no kinda about it. I… Um…” A laugh erupted from your lips, shaking your head. “... Hi.”
He smiled wider, chuckling softly, “Hi.”
Licking your lips, you clear your throat, and… You’re cringing a bit, because you recognize him. You fully do. There was no real question about it, as you looked at him, you knew. But… There will always be a part of you that had to ask, that needed confirmation. So, you had to ask. “You’re um…” Nodding your head, “Y’know, from uh…”
He exhaled, giving a nod, giving you the impression that he’s been through this before. You hoped he wouldn’t be a dick about it. “Yup, yeah, that’s me.”
“Cool. Cool, cool, cool…” You paused, trying to suppress a laugh. “It would be… Really lame for me to whip out, ‘Glad you didn’t run away this time’, wouldn’t it?”
Chocolate brown eyes widened, lips twitching into a laugh you could tell he wanted to let out. “Oh, yes, that… That would have been awful and truly embarrassing, I’d allow the usage of the word to describe it. Definitely.”
“Mmhm,” you hummed, nodding further, “Yeah, just what I thought.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t.”
“Good thing I didn’t.”
“Oh. So good.”
“So…” you let out, looking up at him, “Do I call you Joe or Joseph?”
“Erm…” He paused for a moment, furrowing his brow in thought, looking to seriously ponder on that. “Well…” His shoulders rose in a shrug, “I dunno. Erm… Whatever you want, I guess. Not… averse to either, honestly.” He let out a soft chuckle, “Dealer’s choice.”
“My choice? Cool, love that for me. Um…” Smacking your lips lightly, giving a decisive nod. “Well… I think Joseph works well — works for me, anyway…”
Giving a nod, he hummed, “I like Joseph. My mum calls me Joseph. So — Oh. Erm, not that you’re like my mum. I mean, not like… I dunno…” His brows furrowed, as if rethinking what had spilled from his mouth. “You don’t think it’s an insult, yeah, that I said you’re not like my mum? Or… Is it like… God, you seem lovely, just… Didn’t want you to think that I…” His brows furrowed further, seeming to confuse himself. “Trying not to say you’re beneath my mum in my standards or in my head, but also not wanting to seem like I think low of my mum or that I compare people to my mum on a daily basis, because god, that’s fucking weird, isn’t it…?” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Yeah, no, I’m…. I don’t know where I was going with that…”
Your smile widened with every word that fell from his lips, chuckling deep enough that your shoulders shook and enough to feel his fingers clench around your waist. “You’re cute. And sweet to not want to devalue your mom to an absolute stranger.’
He snorted at that, “God, like your brits bumbling, then?”
“Well,” you started, lifting your brows at him, “To be fair, that is how Hugh Grant started his career.”
It was his turn to raise his brows, a mockery of hope in his expression, “Are you saying that I could be the next Hugh Grant?”
“I mean…” you started, lips stretched the widest you could remember in a long time, “With those big chocolate button eyes, you definitely…maybe have the potential to be. I’m just saying!”
Those same chocolate button eyes widened at your words, your own eyes catching sight of his dimples as his own lips stretched just as wide as yours, a laugh bursting from those lips, “How do you know about my chocolate button eyes?” Raising a challenging brow, he leaned forward just a bit. “Have you been talking to my mum? Is this a set up? She’s been asking when I’m about to settle down…”
A laugh escaped you, “Are you saying I’m the type of girl your mum would want you to settle down with? I dunno, that’s kinda forward, we just met.”
There was something in his smile, those same brown eyes looking over at you as he gave in to a snicker, shaking his head, “No. Sorry, that is… You’re right, that would be insane, we just met. Under…quite…unique circumstances.” His brow furrowed, “Are you okay? Have I asked that already? Bit rude if I didn’t…”
“Yes, you did. Or… I think your words were, ‘Shit, you okay?’ which I understand to mean as a very British way to ask that very question.” You smiled, giving a nod. “You’re good. And…so am I.” Your hands give his arms a gentle squeeze. “Actually… I’m so good that… You could probably let go of me now.” In an attempt to take away any offense, you blurt out, “Not that it hasn’t been nice, being held by you like this, but um… Yeah, I’m… I’m good. My feet’s steady, so… You don’t… Y’know…have to keep holding me steady.”
“Oh. God, right, right,” he said immediately, his hands flying up and away from you. A smirk to his lips as he held out his hands, palms facing you, a boyish giggle leaving him. “That’s… Sorry, I didn’t even know that I was still…” Pocketing his hands, he let out a huff as he watched you settle and wrap your arms around yourself. “Well, there we go. Erm… I am glad you’re okay, that was…” He shook his head, “Yeah, that could’ve ended badly. I’m glad I was around, y’know, to prevent your very untimely demise.” You both shared a small laugh at that, but then he furrowed his brow, looking around in mild concern. “Really is maddening that… Despite being surrounded by so many people and none of them, not one person, went to help or even come to ask if you’re okay…”
“Oh, I did notice that, yeah,” you responded while looking around you, a small little offended glare in place. “Welcome to America, I guess. Bunch of rude fuckers. People’s phones would be out, recording my death and no doubt, I’d be all over everyone’s for you page via TikTok and so not in the way that would be welcomed.”
A light scoff left his lips, “Is there any other way on TikTok? I mean…” His shoulders raise in a shrug, “I dunno, I’m not on it, but it doesn’t seem quite appealing, does it?”
It was said so innocently, so casually, your lips stretching into a smile and eyes flickering with amusement. You could have fun with this, his statement sounding so… Almost boomer of him, despite the young age in comparison to actual boomers. Which only brought on further amusement in your eyes. “Not a fan?” starting off casually. Trying to ascertain how bad this could be.
“Well…” he started, brows raised a bit as his hand reached for the back of his head, scratching his neck. “Not that I ventured much into it, but…” He gave a shrug, “It’s just dances, isn’t it? Like I said. Not very appealing.”
You couldn’t help it. The roll of your eyes came immediately as did the laugh from your lips. “Oh, God, it is not all dancing. There’s so much more to it, it’s all sorts of things. All sorts of content from all kinds of creators. Actors doing skits, some they wrote, some they didn’t, or even just jumping on a trend that showcases their acting skills or recreations of famous scenes from movies, shows… Their interpretation of it, even if it’s lip synching, it’s them. Musicians showcasing their music by either remixing,” You paused a moment, raising your brows, letting out a soft laugh. “…which you know a lot about remixes, I’m sure…”
He gave a deep hum, giving a nod, “Yeah, yeah, more than I care for, admittedly…”
“Right, well, there’s that and singing, performing, either putting out a song or performing it live. Editors, doing video edits of either original material or… Or even video edits of their favorite shows, movies, actors… Artists? Speed drawing videos showing their skills and how a sketch turns to an actual fucking piece of art. Because not all artists can get their work in a gallery, but they can post a video on a platform that will literally show up on people’s screens,” a soft laugh escaping, and you saw how he smiled, tilting his head and looking at you as you spoke. “And then there’s cooking — you’re a foodie, right?”
“I…” he started, his smile growing as he gave a nod. “Yeah, yeah, I… I consider myself a foodie, sure. That’s on TikTok as well?”
Lips stretched across your face as you gave an earnest nod, “Yes. The good and the bad. Cooking food, sharing recipes, rating dishes or restaurants—shops, like… It’s such a tool for small businesses and in this fucked up economy, it’s so needed. And...” You hesitated a moment, before giving in to a reluctant nod, “It’s helped writers as well. Promoting their books, sharing their writing, connecting with readers and… You know, that stuff. And aside from content creators, the art of it, there’s simply fans of all of it, discussing all of it, connecting with others discussing it. I don’t know if you’ve considered that part but…” You let out a sigh, “Whether you grew up having to hide just things you like or never really recovering from the isolation we all felt during the start of the pandemic…” Shaking your head, “Connecting with others over things you love, or just even things or people you like… Without judgement, it’s so important. Also serving to just… Y’know, give yourself a voice. Not just about entertainment but… Just life and how it can knock you down. Pick you up. The fucked-up parts that traditional media is just never going to give you a chance to scream at the world, people on the app do. They’re given that chance, and they take it, and it’s great. And if you’re feeling down, there’s people that use the platform to pick you right up.”
Tilting his head, a bit, the corner of his lip let out a smirk, “So… Definitely not just dancing then?”
You laughed, shaking your head, “No, no, Mr. Quinn, not just dancing. And the fact that people are so quick to just boil it down to just dancing is… Not only ridiculous but fucking reductive. Yeah, it has some big downsides to it. Like any other form of social media, there’s toxicity and negative impacts and even people manipulating other people. A narrative that doesn’t align with the truth, but then —”
“That…is most social media.” His nose scrunched a bit, “Well… In the name of all transparency… Not just social media, but… Traditional media as well. Interviews and misquotes running amuck… I guess it’s not any better or worse.” His lips nudge to the side as his shoulders give in to a shrug. “I suppose I shouldn’t have downplayed it, especially since I didn’t know much about it… Until now, of course.” He looked at you with a smile, “You’re uh… You’re quite passionate, aren’t you?”
 Once again, you laughed, softly as the flash of your teeth showed in your smile. “Bit too much, huh? I, uh… I get like that, sometimes. A lot of people kinda reduce that to my assumed Latina temper flaring up. Or my spice. Y’know, quick to think it’s anger or me blowing a fuse and basically boiling it down to some… Perceived… I don’t know…” You were trying to find a neutral way to say it, to not sound like you were going to go on another tangent. But you were struggling.
But he seemed to understand, with the way his brown eyes took you in, taking a deep breath and let out a gentle smile. “I didn’t see a… I guess those people would say…” His lips in a light grimace, nose scrunching again, and brows furrowed. “…an angry woman…”
“…an angry Latina woman… That part’s important…”
“Right. So important… But… No, no. Not hot blooded or…flying off the handle…”
“Ready to grab a chancla and aim for the head…”
Lips twisting to a wide grin as a snicker left his lips, shaking his head, “No, no, none of that… Nothing as… I can only assume reductive or downright patronizing as all that.” Slipping his hands into his pockets of his jeans, he shrugged, “I just… I saw someone passionate about what she was talking about because… Well… I was belittling a whole platform. Very dismissive. Bit of a dick, actually, now that I think ‘bout it?” You both shared a laugh at that, “Erm… Which…” Lifting his hand over his heart, “I am sorry about… But even as you spoke, you… You were passionate because you cared. And… That’s such a good thing, y’know? You don’t…get a lot of that. A lot of caring and not like a bleeding heart kinda caring, it’s um…” Sucking in his breath, he shook his head, “I dunno. But just… Caring. I… I liked watching that, the whole thing.”
“You…” your brow arched, “You did? I… Thank you… So, not too much?”
Shaking his head, “No! Fuck, no. Nothing like that, absolutely no worries there. Almost makes me want to give it a chance — almost.” Reaching toward his back pocket, taking out a lighter and pack of cigarettes, “Oh, and fuck anyone that sees something like that and make you seem… Like a stereotype like that. I can’t… I can’t even imagine how fucking frustrating that is.” He chuckled, “Most of you, American lot, just think I’m adorable, or precious so…”
“Oh,” you started with a light chuckle. “Right, all baby girl and shit.”
His big brown eyes widened as his brows lifted, and an almost sorrowful look on his face. “Oh, God… No, they’re not… Not baby girl…” Letting out a sigh, looking at you in such dismay. “Surely not. No — Keery, maybe, but I—”
“Mm, afraid so. I think it’s the big brown doe eyes that gets the baby girl treatment.”
He huffed dramatically, puffing his cheeks as he did so, shaking his head. “Doe eyes? What, like Bambi eyes? Well, that’s… These damn chocolate button eyes… That’s disappointing. Well, no, it’s… It’s sweet I guess but…”
He furrowed his brow. “Baby girl? Really? I know the accent and the constant apologizing gets erm… Well, the whole, ‘oh, isn’t he precious?’ treatment, I get that, but…” He let out a sigh, leaning toward you. “I’m manly. Like clearly, I’m manly as hell.”
He watched as you handled that for about a split second before the snicker came rolling out of you.
His eyes widened as your eyes closed as you smiled wide, an actual laugh coming out. “Oi! No!” he let out, though you could hear the faintest trace of a chuckle in his tone. “Don’t laugh! You can’t be laughing at that, now. I am manly. I saved you, didn’t I?”
“I’m sorry!” you let out, still fighting back some laughs. “I’m not questioning your manliness, I swear, but… It is a little precious you’re so offended at the baby girl thing.”
He huffed out a laugh, teeth biting at the corner of his lower lip. “Well, not so much offended but… I dunno. Not exactly cool, is it? Not very impressive to be known as… Baby girl or… Being thought of… I’m a grown man.”
“No, no, I get that…” you relent, laughter subsiding, your eyes trailing over him. Part of you not quite believing it’s him, but the fact that Joseph Quinn was looking at you and not only that, was engaging in conversation, was ridiculous. But not unwelcomed. “Well, if it means anything, you are…deceptively buff, which is sort of making me question things.”
His grin was dangerous as he looked at you, eyes trailing towards his arms, the bicep mostly. You couldn’t help but notice the almost overly pleased look on his face as he went, “Yeah? Impressed, yeah? By the pythons?”
“Oh, god, okay…” You’re pleased that he snickers at his own words, “No one said anything about pythons. Let’s tone it down a little, but yes. I dunno, I guess with Eddie, I just thought you were…”
“Skinnier?” he supplied, allowing you to nod. “Fair. I mean, I was. Went on…a not fun diet to lose that weight and…” He gave a shrug, a chuckle escaping him. “Two years of my fucking life and I loved doing it, but erm…” He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, like being able to eat what I want nowadays,” letting out a soft groan, “Which… I’m really taking advantage these days. Especially here, at this place, the food—”
“Shit!” you let out, surprising you both. “Fuck. I was coming over here to order more food for my table.” Surprised that Jen and Gerry didn’t come looking for you, though you supposed your plate of fries were demolished by now. “Completely forgot. That’s…”
“Oh, you’re with someone?” he asked, and if your mind wasn’t hazy, you would have detected the slightly disappointed tone in his voice. His eyes flickering over you, cautious. “Like….?”
“My friends— Best friends, in fact. Who are…probably pissed I’m taking so long.” He seemed to relax at that, almost looking relieved, an observation you didn’t put much thought to, turning toward the counter, making eye contact with the bartender. “Hey! Plate of loaded fries, beef sliders and two cokes and one sparkling water with lime, please?” The bartender giving you a nod, making you heave a sigh of relief. “Can’t believe I flaked about that; it was literally the only reason I came over here.”
“Well, to be fair, you did almost die,” he let out, smiling a bit and lighting up his cigarette, finally, it seemed. Taking a deep inhale, smoke flew past his lips, away from you. “I’m sure they’ll understand and at least you didn’t forget completely.” Pausing a moment, he lifted his pack of cigarettes, “Sorry, do you…?”
“No, no, I don’t,” you watched as he froze, holding his cigarette in front of his lips and the familiar look of guilt on his face. “Oh, but you can, I’m not… I’m not bothered by it if you do. Seriously, I’m not gonna go into the dangers of smoking.” With a soft smile, you added, “You’re a grown man, after all. A manly man.”
He snorted, “Fuck off.”
“Aw! So precious.”
Joseph’s grin stretched further, his brown eyes looking at you with a spark of amusement though he tried his best to look stern. Taking a drag of the cigarette, blowing away from you. “You’re funny.”
“That’s what they tell me.”
“Well, because you are.” His shoulders giving you a little shrug, “It’s good. I…” A soft laugh exhaled from him, “I’ve genuinely been enjoying myself, so… Thank you for that.”
It genuinely made you smile, hearing that, digging into your wallet for your card, smiling still as you tapped it on the POS device laid in front of you. Using your finger for your digital signature, you paused after, turning your eyes back at him. “… Actually… Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, yeah,” he said, taking another drag, brown eyes all on you.
They really were like big doe eyes.
A smile on your face, you cleared your throat, licking your lips. “It’s just, um… Well, when I fell, it… It was kinda sudden, obviously, generally how falls go.”
He’s smiling, now, which, fuck him for doing that.
“And… It was pretty lucky that you caught me…”
Oh, there was something that flashed in his eyes, then. Which was interesting, in your mind. Not something you could decipher right away, though. Concern? No…
“I’m just… In a room full of people that straight did not even flinch at a woman tripping over… You reacted really quickly.” He was holding his breath, the only way you could really tell was the smoke lingering from within, before he exhaled, once more, away from you. “Were you like, heading toward the opposite direction and just — bam! There I went, or…?”
You watched as Joe took a deep breath, tongue poking out and licking his lips. “Erm…” he started, almost sheepishly. There was something in the way he wouldn’t look at your eyes, almost guiltily. “…something…like that…”
Raising your brows, those little words brought forth this curiosity clawing from within you. “…something like that?”
“Yup,” he gave you, popping that p for emphasis, giving a nod. “Definitely…” His eyes wandered, flickering toward you, just for a fraction of a second. “…something like that.”
The thing was… When his eyes flickered over to you just then… It wasn’t at your eyes, or your face… But… Somewhere a bit…lower than that… It was so quick, though, but the way he stood there in front of you, so different than moments earlier where it was calm and easy. Just casual and nice and now, fingers tapping at his hip and when his eyes did meet yours. His big chocolate button eyes seemed bigger.
Almost pleading. That’s when you knew.
Lips quirked into a smile, eyes lighting up. A surge of giddiness bubbled within the pit of your stomach and was quickly spreading throughout your body. Oh, this was good. This was too good. The summer’s favorite white boy, the one, quite ironically, dominating everyone’s TikTok’s for you pages, the one everyone was swooning over… He…
 “…oh my god.”
“I… No, that’s… I was…”
“…you were looking at my boobs.”
He scoffed, taking a step back and eyes wide. As if he was offended at the accusation. Which was fair, anyone that was called outright like you were doing would go for the offended defense. “I…” he started, his hand gripping at the edge of the bar’s counter, his other hand raised, forefinger pointed toward you. “I…” he repeated, his words halted as he brought his cigarette for one more drag before it went toward the ashtray, extinguished. “That… What I was doing was…”
“Oh, tell me,” you let out, arms crossed in front of you, over your stomach, purposefully giving your cleavage a bit more of a boost. “Tell me what you were doing?”
“I, well,” he said with a little nod. His eyes trained on your own, willing himself not to look down. “I’ll tell you, that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“Okay. Cool. Let’s hear it. Love to hear it.”
“Well, we’re gonna. Yeah.” You chuckled, and he wanted to, but only cleared his throat, “Shut up, you see…” A momentary grin on his lips. Slowly, he pointed toward himself, “I… Right? Yeah. I was having a drink, right? Yeah, I was. And then, I was trying to meet up with a mate, so… I was going to go outside and… Y’know, text or call him.”
“Right,” you let out, giving a nod. “It’s so noisy here, so yeah, that makes sense.”
“Yeah! Right,” he said, brows raised. “Far too noisy, at least for a call. So, outside,” leaning toward the counter, his palm flat on the top of it. “So, getting off the stool, going about strolling toward the exit, yeah? And…” he snapped his fingers, “And then you come strolling toward the bar, and… Well…”
“…you saw my boobs.”
His lips stretched, teeth biting at the corner of his lip, refusing to look at you before letting out a, “…. stop saying that!” quite exasperatedly.
Which only made you laugh, and not kindly. Almost a cackle which only broke the dam as it were with Joseph, because his laugh came tumbling down.
“Am I wrong?” you let out in between the giggling — yes, you were giggling with this man. “I mean, it’s okay! It’s okay if you were! No judgement.”
He let out a groan, facing toward the counter and laid his head in his arms on top of it. Quite dramatically. Comically, which only made you chuckle more.
“Honestly, I’m not even offended by it.”
“God, you should be.” His voice slightly muffled, his hands resting at the back of his head, interlocking together. “…it’s not… It’s not like I make a habit of it—”
“I was just a special case? Aw!” You heard him groan, delving further into his arms and hands grasping each other tighter. “No, really, I’m honored that in place as crowded as this, my tits are the ones that stand out — well, not cold enough to stand out — but,” you let out a soft laugh at yourself and even amongst the music and the chatter, you swore you heard him chuckle, too.
“..it’s actually…kinda flattering.” Looking down at your chest, taking a deep breath to see your cleavage heave, chuckling a bit. “Makes me feel very Blanche Deveraux,” you add, putting on a very questionable Southern accent as close to the golden girl herself,” …like my breasts have the power to make music!” Your regular voice coming back as you finished, “It’s thrilling.”
He soon lifted his head from the counter, looking over at you with a furrowed brow. “…I feel like I’m supposed to know that reference, but I don’t…” Your brows shot up at that and it was well noted by him as he added, “….ah. And I should know that, I’m assuming. It’s upsetting you that I don’t.”
It was. Well, kind of. More shocked than anything, and it showed. “Do you…? Are you saying that you… You’ve never seen Golden Girls?”
“…oh,” he uttered softly, his back straightening. “I mean, I’ve heard of it. Kind of? Erm, like uh… Well, mostly heard of Betty White, like obviously. But not quite… Never really… Sat down and watched it—oh,” he reacted to how wide your eyes got at that, and the way your lips parted. “Oh, we’re very cross about that, are we?”
“I — yes! Very! You’ve — oh, that’s bad. You should fix that as soon as possible, Mr. Quinn. Because yeah, it’s gonna bug me until you do. Not that I’d know, but still…”
A snort left him, grinning from ear to ear, no doubt with how ridiculous you sounded. But it was worth it, at least you got to see those big doe eyes again. “I can tell it bothers you, so…” He shook his head with a chuckle, “I’ll erm… I’ll try and put it on the books, yeah? Just for you, though.”
“I mean… It’ll be more for your benefit than mine. No, seriously, we’ll probably never meet again but you will thank me, I’m sure of it.”
Taking a deep breath, he let out a soft hum, “Mmhm, I’m sure of it. I trust you. So… I’m guessing one of them has a…. Southern accent? That… That was what you were attempting, right?”
Dramatically placing a hand over your heart, you busted the accent out once again. “I do declare, Mister Quinn, are you doubtin’ my impeccable imitation of the great and late Blanche Elizabeth Deveraux, initials spelling B.E.D? Oh, fiddly-dee.” You saw his smile growing wider at every word that left your lips until it broke out in a laugh. “Hey!” you let out, laughing as well, “We’re not all Master of Accents like you clearly are, buddy. Some of us are scrambling without that fancy schooling.”
“Oh, no,” he bemoaned through a laugh, “…you saw that, did you?”
“Oh, yeah,” you let out gleefully. “That was… A tour de force. I… It was the Liverpool one that did it for me…”
“Hey. Oi. Like I said on there, mm? My mum is from Liverpool and….” His lips twitching into a smile, nodding his head, “…sounds just like that.”
“Yeah… You really shouldn’t be disrespecting your mum like that. Just… Just doing her wrong.” You laughed a little, licking her lips, “No, no, it was…” nodding slightly, “No, it was really good. You were very…charming, actually. Especially for your first talk show appearance. I mean, it was Fallon, but you made it work. I’m pretty sure you got more fans out of it. You did…. You did really good.”
The way he smiled struck you, and there was a softness in his eyes you weren’t expecting, either. You’d expected him to be showered on dozens of praise and accolades for his role of Eddie Munson, which would be richly deserved. But there he was, standing there as if your words were the first he ever heard. “That… Thank you,” he let out with an impish sort of smile. “That means a lot, actually.” Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he let out a sigh of relief. “So, not embarrassing, then? The accent bit was really rough.”
“Oh, yeah, you um…” you chuckled, “You had the uh… Red face thing going on through it.”
His face fell at that, “Oh, don’t tell me that. You’re joking, yeah? Like… Not…” Your lips stretched out in a smile which only made him let out a soft laugh. “I wasn’t that obvious, was I? Really?”
A snort left you, shrugging your shoulders, “I mean… It wasn’t like… Okay, maybe your ears got a little red, too,” you paused as a bark of a laugh escaped him, the sight of him covering his mouth with his hand almost sent you into a fit of giggles yourself. “Which was kinda a dead giveaway.”
“What? N—” shaking his head bewildered, a whiplash of emotions crossing his features, yet the smile was still there, still wide. “I… What? What do you mean dead giveaway?! I don’t have—my ears?!”
“Oh, god, you’re cute. Do you not know?”
“Yeah. Right. Fucking adorable, and no?! No, I don’t… What… Do I….” he furrowed his brows, a hand reaching toward his ears, feeling them a bit. “…people noticed my ears get red?”
“Howards End,” you let out as if it was easily explained, and by the look on his face, it was. “The kissing scene.”
Oh, he looked like a boy on Christmas. A laugh erupted from his lips and eyes wide, “Howards End?!” he let out, his voice pitched, and then making a quick recovery with a clearing of his throat. Crossing his arms, though his eyes remained wide as he gave a nod, “Howards End. You saw Howards End? I was in that.” You snorted, and he closed his eyes, brows furrowed. “Right, yeah, you know that already,” he chuckled, opening his eyes once more to look at that. “So… So… You watched Howards End.”
“Are you like… Are you surprised? Yeah. Yeah, I saw Howards End but I’m not gonna discuss it because I’ll just get angry.”
“Oh, really?”
“God, yes,” you respond, taking a deep breath, “Eat the fucking rich, that’s… That’s what I got out of it. Was that not the main theme? Oh, and justice for Leonard Bast.”
He giggled at that, actually giggled which, God… You wish you didn’t find it downright adorable. Shaking his head, running his hand through his hair and grabbing his shades in the process, “Sorry, sorry, that’s just… That’s mad I’m only really used to my past work, y’know, mentioned through like… Bullshit networking and the like, not genuinely — So, red ears, got it.”
Your brows furrowed, “Wait… No, don’t buy it.” He looked at you confused, prompting you to explain. “Come on, I mean, it’s not like it’s totally obscure and like… You have a few things under your belt, I mean… People had to have mentioned your other stuff. I know everyone’s all… It’s all about Eddie Munson right now, I mean, the photo of you as Eddie with the horns and tongue is plastered all over the con, but… I mean… People have seen your other stuff. I know they have; I’ve seen people talk about your other stuff so, no, I don’t buy it.”
He tilted his head, raising his shoulders in a shrug, “I mean, yeah, but… I dunno, it’s just… Just sort of feels like they’re just being nice about it. But much of the time… Yeah, yeah, they’re…” He smiled, shaking his head, “It’s…. all about Eddie. Which is great!” he ended, holding his hand up. “I mean, it’s mad, but… I get it, he…” A bewildered laugh escaped him. “It’s…kinda special, hearing about… The other roles. I dunno, still getting used to it?” He shrugged, “I dunno. But erm, thank you, erm… Not sure for what, for… I guess…” He snorted, “Watching Howards End, I suppose. And angry on Leonard Bast’s behalf. Um…” With an amused expression, he raised his brows, “Not a nice ending for him.”
“If I think about it hard enough, I go in a rage, so, no,” the both of you chuckling at that. “Not nice, no.” Licking your lips, you can’t help but ask, “So… How’s it going, then? The whole… Madness of all the attention suddenly on you? How are they treating you?”
“Oh,” he let out, a sense of surprise in his tone, brows raising a bit. “Erm… Yeah, no, yeah, it’s been great.” Nodding a bit, letting out a soft laugh. “Yeah, no, it’s been good, bit new to it but, yeah, no. It’s been lovely, actually. So… Yeah, great.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yup,” he said, popping the p. “Really, really great. Really. Good fun and… Yeah,” nodding with a smirk. “Been awesome.”
You smile at that, crossing your arms in front of you. “Oh, it’s been awesome.”
“Yeah.”
“Uh huh… Tell me that one more time and I’ll believe you.”
He snorted at that, hands going into his pockets. “I… It has been…” The longer he looked at you, at your face, you could see his face cracking. A broad grin stretched along his face as his eyes lifted toward the ceiling and he let out a groan. “Oh, god, why do I wanna be honest with you, that can’t be good…”
You chuckled a bit, “I got one of those faces, I guess… No, really, if you don’t want to, that’s fine, but if you do… I promise, it stays between us. I mean, look at me, I have an honest face, it goes both ways.”
Taking a deep breath, he scratched the side of his neck. “Okay… Okay, well… Erm… It’s… Different?” His lips stretched tightly. “It’s mad, y’know, like I said. But… I’m enjoying it. Y’know, enjoy meeting so many people and… having that much of an impact, it’s… It’s um…”
“…a lot.”
“Oh, god, it’s so much more than I thought when I signed on,” he let out in a relieved tone. “Yeah, it’s exciting. Being in the business for as long as I have and never experiencing anything like this, I…” He let out a breath. “It’s fuckin’ amazing and… It’s not anything I’ve experienced before. I… Usually I just do a job and then I go home and maybe it shows up on the telly or on a screen, maybe, but…” He shook his head, looking at you. “Nothing like this — my face is plastered everywhere and… Yes, it’s exciting and I am loving it, don’t get me wrong — God, it feels weird saying this I don’t even…” He licked his lips, “It’s… It’s an adjustment, I guess. But I’m learning, so, that’s… That’s good, isn’t it?”
You nodded, offering a shrug, “Best you can do, really.” You watched as he gave a nod. “And I get it… I mean… It must be such a mind fuck. They talk about break out roles but, you don’t really have any clue how real that is until… I guess… It happens. And it definitely happened with you and… It’s a lot. It must be. I, personally, didn’t even know you existed a few months ago,” you ended with a laugh.
He snorted at that, “Oh, cheers! That’s… That’s lovely.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not just me, so… Saying that, like…” You paused, taking a deep breath. “Do I say this on the risk of inflating your ego…”
“Yes,” came the immediate response. “Please, I’m very needy with praise and I… Kinda… Said way too much already, so… I would appreciate it beyond words. Praise me.”
Grinning a bit, you shook your head, “For someone that hasn’t watched Golden Girls, you are giving Blanche vibes right now…”
“I… Sure, why not?”
Chuckling a bit, you leaned against the counter, looking over at him. “…if anyone deserved a breakout role, it’s you.”
His brows shot up at that, which made you smile.
“I’ve seen your other stuff, two of which before I even watched Stranger Things, by the way.”
Oh, his brows shot wide up at that, and you rolled your eyes as he propped his arm on the counter, resting his chin within the palm of his hand.
“In fact… Oh, God… Okay… I might have started watching Stranger Things because… I… I was impressed with your acting in…two of your works…”
“You did not.” His voice disbelieving to say the least, making you laugh, though he carried on. “That’s — No, no, no, that ridiculous you did not… C’mon, you’re taking the piss now.”
“I’m not! I’m serious. I didn’t even go looking for it, I was just binging and bam, there you were, the stranger things guy with the hair! I swear,” placing your hand over your heart. “Cross my heart and all that. It was like… Kismet or some shit.”
A hearty laugh came out of him, eyes practically wide as saucers. “Oh my god, that’s… That’s so funny… What… What two shows…?”
“Catherine the Great,” you listed off, lips scrunched to the side, “Mm, Prince Paul was…. I mean… At the time was… It was okay,” he snorted at that, nodding a bit. “But, y’know, I’ve kinda warmed up to Paul since then, but it was good and I was like, okay, not bad.”
“That seems to be the general impression I give off, yeah.”
“Shut up,” you fired back with a laugh. “But then… I kept going through my binge and I came across a series named Strike. Or, C.B. Strike here in the states, which is weird, I know, but… It seemed interesting so I got into it.” You smiled, “And then the second season came and… Wouldn’t you know? It’s that guy again.”
“Loving it.”
“Yeah? Well, I don’t know if it’s because I saw you in Catherine the Great first or whatever, but, as soon as you popped on the screen…?” A breathless laugh escaped you, remembering the moment as you shook your head. “It was… Different. And… Honestly, your whole performance was just…” Looking up at him with a smile, “You were amazing. Like… I was really watching… Acting, you know? I mean, obviously, yes, I was, but… Really… Seeing it in action, like… I don’t know. Not like I’m an expert but, it was just really… Captivating and… I couldn’t look away. I was… I was in complete awe of you.”
His grand smiles were gone, the broad grins as well, but there was something a bit softer that replaced it. A look of genuine awe in his eyes as he looked at you. You expected some quip of self-deprecation, but he was staring at you in silence for a moment, and suddenly his smile grew. Threatening to claim his entire face as he let out a huff of a laugh. “Sorry, that was… Erm… Fuck. I don’t even get that kinda feedback from my mum,” he tried to cover with a laugh, though his gaze at you seems a bit dazed. Fingers scratching at the scruff of his cheek. “I… Yeah, I put a lot of work on Billy, that… It wasn’t a lead role or all that meaty a role, but… Seems to have put on an impression on some and…” He nodded a bit, smile still in place. “It’s very sweet and… I’m glad it did. Thank you, really.”
It touched you that your words seemed to touch him, making you smile. “Well, no, it wasn’t the lead role or anything but… It was meaningful. And if it was any other actor, it wouldn’t be. You got talent, something I’m sure has been said over and over to you, but—”
“I’m very needy so even if it was, I wouldn’t get tired of hearing it.”
“Yeah, well, you are an actor, so that tracks,” you joked, making him laugh a bit, leaning back on his seat. “But yeah, I was so impressed that I binged the whole show, just to see you in action in the role so many fell in love with. And I… I thought it wouldn’t be so bad. Since, you know, I already knew he’d die at the end, so I was like, not gonna love him. Won’t hurt as much, right? Yeah… Did not make it past the cafeteria scene, so…”
“Oh, you like them obnoxious, then.”
“Hey, you call him obnoxious, I call him dramatic and yes, I fucking love dramatic men, but, only if they make me laugh.”
He seemed to take keen interest in that. “So, you like your men more dramatic or funny?”
Letting out a hum, you considered that. There was a key difference there, you knew. “I guess out of the two… I’d have to go with funny. I’d rather laugh than be frustrated because some guy couldn’t act right or be chill about things. Anything is pretty much forgivable if the person makes me laugh. Means we’re having a good time.”
He nodded a that, though you shook your head, “Anyway, my original point — You’re very talented, and that’s coming from someone that didn’t even knew your name not even three months ago and… Your acting, it should be recognized, you put in a lot of work with your portrayals, and it shows and… I’m glad you’re having your breakout moment. I really am… And you should enjoy it. All of it.”
He smiled at that, another one of those gentle smiles that made his eyes shine, you swore it did. “That’s… Thank you. I really do appreciate that. More than you know, really. And I am! I’m enjoying it. Still a bit mad, but… I’m enjoying it, I promise.”
“Good… I’m glad of that.” Taking a deep breath, you looked around. “How many cons have you done so far?”
“Oh… Erm… God, I think… This is my third one? Still a bit green…”
“Well, I’m a bit more seasoned than you, so,” you huff out a soft chuckle. “Make sure you’re hydrated, like seriously, even if the water’s warm, just take it if it’s offered by the staff. Same with food, though if you can hit someplace outside of what the staff provide… Do it. I mean, what they give you is good enough but… If you want to enjoy your time, it helps. Also? Snacks. Snacks are so important; you have no idea. If you can’t get a full meal and your breaks aren’t cutting it? Get you some snacks. Obviously not ones that need refrigeration and shit, but like, a little trail mix, if you wanna be healthy. Uh... Some chips or…crisps, whatever. I’m a sucker for chocolate myself. Or cookies. Sweets, it’s not…. healthy but, god, makes the day worth it. Also? Do not skimp on your breaks. I know the temptation to skip them comes but like… You, Mr. Popular, have a lot of folks coming just for you. I walked through the convention earlier and there’s a sea of Hellfire shirts all around,” you chuckled. “You need your breaks.”
“You’re adorable,” he let out, and it wasn’t clear if he meant to say it or not, but he was smiling throughout your little guide to surviving a con. “You’re actually giving me advice, that’s… Very helpful, yeah, but… Also… You’re adorable.”
Your brows lifted, “Adorable?” Scoffing lightly. “Adorable. Really?” Holding your hand up, you added, “Hey, this is sound advice, I’ll have you know.”
“Oh, it sounds it! I’m not disputing that, no, no, it’s really good advice and all that, it’s just,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “Sorry, just erm…” He shrugged, “I dunno! It’s… It’s sweet… Y’know, telling me all that. Which I’ll take to heart, absolutely. It is sound advice.” He winked, actually winked at you with a smile, “Thanks for looking out for me.”
He dared to call your advice adorable, but the wink he gave? That was adorable, making your lips twitch with a wider smile than you intend to let out. “Yeah, well…” Lips pursed together as you made a side glance toward nothing at all, just away from him. “You did save me, so… The least I can do to help make this con better for you.” Taking a breath, “Even though you only really saved me because you were being a big ol’ perv.”
“Oi,” he interjected with his big brown eyes wide, though any offense to your words were quickly dispelled with a laugh that breathed past his lips. “No, that… That is only because… You…. You got tits that make music or…whatever the fuck you said in that… Questionable accent.”
You felt bold at that, emitting a gasp and actually laid a hand on him. Not because you were falling, and he was there. Because you wanted to, it felt the most natural thing in the world to take your hand and smack his arm just like that.
And he, it seemed, felt natural enough for him to put on a wince, pull the struck shoulder back, his face a complete mockery of a pained expression as he let out an exaggerated, “Ow.”
“Shut up, that did not hurt.”
“Ahhh,” he exaggerated, rubbing where you had struck him. “Tell that to my arm, that’s going to be a bruise — Netflix is going to have a word with you about that.”
“Okay, well, it was in defense of my superior Blanche impression and big words from the man that attempted a Scottish accent, the supreme of accents by the way and ended up lisping it—” you ended with a laugh only to join his when a figure was seen out of the corner of your eye.
Turning it, you saw a young woman standing there, staring at the both of you. “Oh, hey, sorry am I blocking you from the bar or…?”
“Oh… Uh… No, I just… Um…” She was gripping something in her hand, looking from you to Joseph who had straightened up and offered a smile. “Oh. Oh, wow. I… Hi.”
“Hi, how are you?” he pushed out with a gentle smile, and a voice even gentler. Different than what you were hearing in your conversation. His eyes were on her, looking directly at her, into her eyes as if she was the only one in the room. “Enjoying yourself, darling?”
It amused you.
This was him in work mode, you realized, as you leaned back and looked on. The girl seemed taken by him, of course. How could anyone not? He was good, especially for someone so green in these sorts of affairs.
“I… Uh, yeah, yeah, I’m having a great time. Are… Are you…? Having a great time….?”
He smiled brightly, and you swore you saw his eyes light up. “I’m doing absolutely lovely, my dear.” The woman between the two of you looked absolutely starstruck, gripping on the hardcover book she had in her hands — … wait.
You knew that book.
Your eyes peering at the cover, eyes widened as if viewing an old friend… Because, as it turned out, you were. “That’s my first book.”
It was as if you broke his spell and her bright eyes looked away from him and straight toward you, a brighter smile on her face. “Oh! Yeah! Sorry, I…” Turning her attention to Joe, her smile turned sheepish. Embarrassed, even. “I just um… I wasn’t expecting you, when… When I was coming over I just…” She gave a shrug, “I only saw her —” And with a turn towards you, she clarified, “You. Um… This is going to sound really… Like… Stalker-y? It’s not! I swear it’s not —”
“To be fair that’s what most stalkers would say but go on…” you replied cautiously.
She let out a laugh, “God, I know. Sorry, it’s just… The prices for the con went up and like… It was just too much for me to buy tickets? But um… I knew this was the closest bar and it’s not like I came specifically in case you happened to come in, I’m out with my friends, we were gonna be in the area and its good food but on the off chance you did…” She held out the book towards you, “…could I…. I mean, could you… sign it?”
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Joseph raise his brows in surprise and confusion — but a bit of amusement there, too. Not like he was upset to be slightly upstaged now, but a bit surprised. You could practically see his big brown eyes taking in your name on the cover, only causing his eyes to grow wider if even possible. This didn’t really happen a lot to you, not before your TikTok took off and there was a face to the name. Your smile stretched wide, and you took hold of a copy of your first of your series, nostalgia hitting you and remembering how excited you were to hold the very first copy as given to you by your publisher all those years ago.
That was a different you, then. Excited. Mind brimming with ideas and plots and characters to take the reader for a whirlwind adventure of romance and unabashed sex. Your smile turned wistful as you looked at your main heroine, or the silhouette of her, she was still abstract, except for in your words. You remembered it was important, for readers to have an idea of what she looked like, tickled by the thought of a version of your heroine would be born in every readers’ head. Never quite the same, always a bit unique and different, a bit of themselves in her while reading of her story, of her life. That was important to you.
Your eyes lifted from the book, your book, and to the woman that placed it in your hands. Taking a deep breath, lifting your brows, you went, “So… You couldn’t afford to meet me in the convention at my table, so you decided to come here on the off chance I was here and get your book signed for free?”
Oh, the look on her face. You couldn’t keep it up even if you tried.
“I respect it, that’s really smart, actually… Good on you, I’d do the exact same thing,” you smiled as you saw the relief flooding her face. “Yeah, of course, god, it’s been forever since I’ve even seen this edition…” You smiled, observing the book, “Oh, nice, this is well worn down, the spine’s definitely taken a beating.”
She laughed, giving a nod, “Yeah, it’s… It’s honestly my favorite. I love the rest of the series but… The first one’s just… It’s special to me. It’s just the start of everything and like… I loved the emotions when I read it for the first time and it’s nice to remember that sometimes… Does that sound weird?”
“God, no, absolutely not. That’s…really fucking flattering, actually… Uh, I don’t have a pen or Sharpie with me, do you…?”
A silver Sharpie was produced in front of you with her eager hand, chuckling as you took it, “Thanks,” opening the book and to the first blank page.
“What’s your name?” Hearing it, you gave a nod, scribbling in your neatest handwriting the name and a little personalized message with your signature. Smiling broadly, you handed the book and marker with her, “There you go, thanks for reading, it honestly… It means a lot; you guys don’t even know.”
“Oh my God… Please, thank you for…” She shook her head, “Thank you,” taking a moment to read what you wrote, and the smile on her face was well worth it as she closed it gently and held it against her chest. “I am sorry I couldn’t make it into the actual convention, though…”
“No, it’s expensive, I totally get it. If I wasn’t invited, I probably wouldn't bother. It’s cool you thought of this, though. Even if it…” You gave a light shrug, “…It… It is a bit stalker-y but just a little bit,” raising your hand and showing just how little with your thumb and forefinger. “Just a bit.” You both chuckled, “But no, it’s totally lovely to meet you. I’m glad you got the book signed despite the struggle over the wallet being very real. Have a great night, okay?”
“Thanks,” she smiled, turning around but stopping, making a sharp turn, “Oh, and happy birthday! I saw your latest TikTok, kinda cool to celebrate the weekend at the con, right?”
“TikTok,” you heard Joseph let out as he sat back, arms crossed looking between the two of you. “…you have a TikTok.”
Your lips stretched wide as you fought the urge to not roll your eyes. “I do have a TikTok. A very handy one that reaches a lot of people that would maybe help in getting my work out there and voice heard.”
“Ah, well, I did hear it’s very good for that sort of thing.”
“Oh, it’s great,” she said, not quite getting what you and Joe were talking about. “I loved the readings you do from the past books and the stuff with Jen and sometimes Gerry and… Yeah, it’s great. Um… Though… Are you thinking about the next book?” She winced at herself, “Sorry, is that like… You’ve probably been asked that before.”
Oh, she had no idea....
“…it’s a popular one, yeah… There are thoughts and ideas, for sure. Work in progress, you know how those things are. But I don’t have a definite date yet. So…” Oh, God. You put on a smile, and a nod, “We’ll see.”
“Awesome,” she let out, and then, nervously, looking at Joseph. “…would I be pushing my luck if I asked for a pic?” Her smile turning nervous, “I… I really loved Eddie, um. I cried when he died… You were so good; I really hope you come back next season.”
It was amazing to see the switch come on, a smile that was broad but still polite, almost guarded came over his face, a gentle gaze thrown at her. “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you to say. It’s lovely how much you all seem to welcome Eddie and I’m so thankful for that. I…” he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head, “I honestly don’t know about next season, erm… I haven’t heard anything yet but…” He gave a shrug, taking a quick glance at you, a smile twitching at his lips as he turned to her and said, “We’ll see. And no, you’re not pushing your luck at all, I’d love to take a selfie with you.”
From the look of her face, it almost seemed like Christmas, watching as they posed together, Joseph holding up the camera and waiting for the perfect shot before he took it. Handing her phone over back to her, she suddenly looked at you with that same nervous look to her. Making you chuckle and giving a nod, taking her phone and taking a picture with her as well.
Soon, she turned and left the both of you alone together once again.
As alone as two people in a crowded bar could be, anyway.
But as he looked at you, a cocky smile spread over his face, raising his brows, chuckling low. “So,” he started, a toothy grin across his face. “You’re a writer.”
The smile on your face was wide, brimming with your amusement as you gave a nod. “… Yes, I am a writer.”
Crossing his arms in front of him, he let out a soft laugh. “I… I had no idea.”
You gave a shrug, “I mean… How could you? Not like I’m out here with a big old fashioned, 1920’s typewriter strapped to my back or anything.”
He snorted at that, teeth flashing in his smile, giving in to a nod. “No, you’re definitely not… I suppose… The advice you gave me about being at these conventions… Not as an attendee, then.”
A laugh escaped you, a gentle shake of your head given as you look at him. “…no, definitely not. Just part of the Con hustle like you — well, not just like you. I mean, you actors get a lot more action than we pitiful authors ever will…”
Oh, his brows shot up so fast at that, eyes wide — almost as wide as his mouth as they spread into the broadest smile you had ever seen on a person. A spluttering laugh escaping him, “Oh? Us actors? Really? You’re going with that?”
“Oh, you’re gonna deny it? We can go back to that convention center, if you want, and see how many pictures of you are plastered all over and see if it’s in the double digits.”
“Oh,” his brows furrowed, looking quite discontent at the mere suggestion of that. “Oh, fine, you win, just… Please, please, let’s not, yeah?” A small, breathy laugh slipped from him. “I’m pretty sure that picture will then just burn into your brain and that’s all you’d think at the mention of me and — no, no, no, no, don’t want that.”
Lips twitching into a smile you were trying to hold back, giving an understanding nod. “Mm, yeah… Really regretting the devil horns and the tongue pose, huh?”
“…yeah, people’ve really clung to that…”
“It’s a good pose! To be fair, and really great in the scene.”
“Well, I thought so! Still do. But… It’s really something walking and seeing that picture staring at you all over.”
“Which proves my earlier point. Your lines are… Way longer than mine will ever be, so… To bring us back to the original point… Us pitiful authors are more likely to not be recognized than you actors that are so well loved and pretty enough to be recognized—”
“Aw, you think I’m pretty?”
You laughed, a bit harder than you intended, eyes looking at him as you felt a warmth traveling up your face. Licking your lips, clearing your throat, “—I’m… I’m saying… It’s more natural that you’d be recognized more than like… Well, me. So, you know, if you’re feeling bad about it… Well, that’s stupid, don’t do that.”
He grinned at that, a soft chuckle joining in as his eyes looked down a moment, and you swore, you swore you saw his ears gain a slight reddish tinge of color before he looked up at you again. “…I’ll admit, I was feeling a bit of a twat which, well… I practically feel that every moment of my fucking life one way or another, but…” He smiled, “In this case, I’ll…try not to. Which is difficult.”
“Ah… Right…. The British thing, huh?”
That earned an immediate laugh, his eyes looking at you incredulously. He paused a moment, his smile widening further. “…you’re…working through your birthday. How American of you.”
“Pfft, not as if this is anything remotely classified as hard labor. You’ve clearly never worked an hourly wage job, huh?”
“Excuse me?” he said, a touch of offense in his tone and by the expression on his face. “You don’t know me. I could have been a hard-working lad.”
“Did you, then?”
He paused, lips parted, and an ever-growing smile on his face. “… no, but I could’ve done.” You laughed. “You can’t go just assuming things is my point.”
“Yeah, okay, fair.” Giving him a nod, “A fair point. And, yeah,” you admitted with a sigh. “I voluntarily chose to be here during my birthday weekend.” Giving a shrug, “Girl’s gotta eat. And, honestly, worse places to be on your birthday. I’m kinda fond of this convention. Meet up with a lot of fellow authors, and yes, the readers are great, it’s really cool to connect and see who is still willing to read my shit, so…”
“Well,” he interjected, nodding toward where one of your readers had sat down. “She seemed quite interested, so, I can see why you enjoy doing this.”
“And it’s local for me, too. So not much of a hassle, just drove here from home… Gonna drive back after some food… And yes, I get a bit of money and an ego boost so it might as well be on my birthday — don’t ask me how old, I won’t say.”
“Oh, no, I would never. My mum would never allow that if she knew, so no, won’t be doing that.”
You chuckled, “…you really are a mama’s boy, aren’t you?”
He snorted, “The sexiest thing in the world to be, I’m sure… But… Well, yeah, guess I am, a bit… That entirely make me sound like a… I dunno, a… It’s not sexy, is it? Like, I’m some man child or… Someone unappealing? Need to cut the cord sort of thing? Which I have! I am… Live by myself and all that, I just… Well… It’s my mum, you know? And yeah, I adore her.”
You were impressed he fully admitted to favoring his mum, most guys you’ve hung around with wouldn’t have. Gerry did, and Gerry was definitely classified as a mama’s boy from the get-go, but he entirely did not count in your eyes. That, coupled with the fact that the way in which Joseph asked was… Genuine. Vulnerable, even. And the way he did speak about his mum… That made him a very dangerous man.
Chuckling softly, you shook your head. “Doesn’t sound unappealing at all. It’s… It’s kinda… It’s the sweetest, actually.”
His eyes seemed to soften, sparked by his smile as his fingers stroked along his bearded jaw. “Yeah? Well,” placing his hand down, giving you a challenging look. “Sweet is hardly sexy, though, is it?”
Letting out a hum, your shoulders lift in a small shrug towards him, “Could be to some people.”
Licking his lips as he became silent for a few fleeting seconds, used, in his head, to ponder the point of even asking what was swirling in his head. Staring at you, the inside of his cheek nestled between his side teeth, deciding if he really wanted to know and just by how much, but he asked it anyway — “Is it, to you?”
You wanted to laugh.
Just… Laugh.
Your eyebrows lifted, of course. Lips twitching a bit, to the point where your teeth bit into the flesh of your bottom lip. There was even a feeling of heat traveling up your neck. Joseph Quinn are you seducing me? echoed in your head, which only added to the whole hilarity of the moment and made you want to laugh even more.
Lips parted, though your mind went blank. Reassurance that he was just being funny was screaming in your head, that it was a joke, that he was just being kind. Crossing your arms in front of you, a laugh did escape you, but more of a huff rather than the complete guffaw you wanted to let out. The thought was too much — he was being too much with those eyes of his, peering at you like that. His head tilted back slightly, and you swore his eyes scanned your face, somewhat wolfish in the manner.
Worse?
He licked his god damn lips.
Fuck him.
“Could be,” you finally answer, repeating your earlier words. “Depending on the person.”
He exhaled through his nose in a huff, smile shown on that unfair face of his. He bit the corner of his lip, giving a nod, “So, definitely not a deal breaker?”
“As long as they don’t call me mommy or…try and make me into their mom in some weird, Oedipus kink sort of situation… No, no, not a deal breaker.”
“N—“he started, but a chuckle interrupted his words for a moment, shaking his head. “No, no, that would be… Yeah, Oedipus kink is a fair deal breaker…” Looking at you a moment, he took in a deep breath. “Do you like chocolate?”
“…um,” furrowing your brows and letting out a laugh. “I… I don’t really trust anyone that says they don’t, even a little bit. Outside of allergies, of course.”
“Right, of course. So, but are you a big fan of it? Like… Is it your favorite?”
“God, yes. I can never have enough chocolate, I will do…ungodly things for chocolate. Why?”
He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, pointing toward the kitchen. “They… They have this like, chocolate ganache ricotta cheesecake here that is…” his words trailed off, shaking his head in almost disbelief, “…the most…delicious thing I’ve ever tasted. Not too sweet, but still indulgent and just… Absolutely amazing… And… I… Yeah, just realized I’m trying to sell you on something you’ve most likely already had probably so many times, haven’t you?”
There was such a pitying look on your face, “…you looked so excited telling me all that…”
“Fuck,” he let out, leaning back in his seat. “Really thought I was doing something, there… Shit.” He ended with a soft laugh, rubbing the side of his neck. “It’s fucking delicious though, isn’t it?”
“Oh,” you let out, leaning against the back of your chair, “I would give my first born for an endless supply of that cheesecake, yeah. Favorite is the caramel drizzle on top.”
He laughed, more at ease, “Well, I don’t…really have a need for a first born at the moment, but… And seeing as you’ve pronounced caramel properly and the right way—”
“God, you are so British.”
“Yes, I am, now, shut up,” he chuckled, licking his lips. “…let me buy you a slice of that cheesecake. I won’t ask for a candle but, well… It is your birthday, and you are valiantly working through it… So…?”
An immediate smile came across your face, and it was in that moment you noted the light stinging of your cheeks, alerting you to just how much you were smiling within this interaction. Much more than you had in quite a while.
That could be enough, couldn’t it?
It wouldn’t be right to just accept it right away. So said some residual bullshit of pride in not seeking gifts from men you just met or accepting things so easily rose in you. One that mainly came from growing up in a family that was that prideful, the words of your older sister and maybe even your mother bubbled up. “You don’t have to do that…”
“I know. But I want to,” he said oh so casually. “Cheaper than drinks,” he joked with a light chuckle. “And I mean… More indulgent, I think… And, yes, you were right, I was…so…looking at your boobs like some fucking caveman and I need to rectify that.”
You laughed at that, causing his face to flush a bit.
“So, please…” he didn’t even ask again, looking toward the bartender, raising a hand. “Can you add that lovely chocolate ganache ricotta cheesecake to her order? I’ll pay for it or — actually, just add it to my tab, I should be sorting it out, already, thanks.”
It wasn’t normal, how that last part made your heart sink a bit. “Heading off?”
Maybe it was wishful thinking, but you swore you saw a hint of regret on his face. “Yeah, really should meet up with my mate. I really was on my way to do that, just…” He smiled at you. “Got a bit distracted.”
Giving out a nod, you hummed, “That does happen.”
“Mmhm,” he let out, taking his wallet from his pocket, the card reader placed in front of him. “So,” he started, whipping out his credit card and going forward with the payment. “You’re a writer. What do you write about, then?”
Ah, yes.
You were wondering when that question would come out. There were a lot of ways to go about it, flowery words — vague words that you knew others in your field typically went toward when someone not in your field would ask that question. Thing was… You never really got along with those that skirt around it, instead, admired those bold enough to be direct. Because that’s what you were at times.
Blunt and direct.
“Oh… Lady porn, basically.”
His credit card stilled in mid-air, just inches away from the tap icon and you watched with amusement — it was entirely out of amusement — as he seemed to freeze right on the spot. Perhaps he hadn’t heard you right. A trick of the ears, of you telling him something completely different to what he heard. Tap went the card, hearing the light chirp of the machine before the card was lifted once more, tapping the no receipt option and his eyes — oh, his eyes! They blinked, more than a few times as his hands returned his credit card back to his wallet, and you could tell the words lady porn were repeating themselves over and over in his head.
Slowly, he turned to look at you as his wallet was once more in his pocket, a look of confusion taking root on his face, licking his lips. “…what...?” Shaking his head, “Sorry, but I thought I heard…. What?”
Oh, it was too funny.
Your lips stretched into a grin, forcing you to bite your lower lip before you repeated yourself. “I…write lady porn for a living. That’s what I do, that’s why they invite me.”
“…lady porn.”
“Mmhm.”
His lips twitched into the smallest of smiles, eyeing you up and down. “…what, like… Uh… Playboy or, er, Playgirl or something like that…?”
You burst out laughing at that, covering your mouth, “No!”
His smile broke out, a brightness in his eyes as he, too, burst out laughing. “Well! What do you mean by that — Lady porn?! What does that…? I don’t understand, I saw a book!”
You had covered your face as your shoulders shook. Prompting his brows to raise in a look of total offense he couldn’t even muster to look genuine.
“Don’t laugh, please don’t laugh at me. What does that mean?” His tone was desperate, elevating in pitch that, you had to admit, was quite cute.
“It means I do write books. I write erotic books. Erotica. Like… Total literary porn but with a good dash of plot if anyone even reads them for that. I’m not strictly in the adult entertainment industry like that, although…”
You gave a shrug, thinking about it, “It’s not a bad idea… I could probably write the hell of a porn scene, like… Passionate, definitely made for women type of stuff. But no, not me, I just… I write characters or a character that is pretty free with her inhibitions and unapologetically likes sex and likes it a lot. So… yeah, that’s me.”
“Right…” He chuckled, nodding a bit, “Okay… Yeah, that… That’s makes more sense…” His lips spread in a smile as he looked at you. “I wasn’t really expecting that…”
“I mean, I could have said romance which is definitely the blanket term which…” You sighed, “I mean, I guess, technically I could say that… Less of a reaction if I did, I’m sure… But…” A soft shake of your head comes, “The ones that try and blanket their work as romance always seem…”
Licking your lips as you try to come up with the right words. “I don’t know… Kind of ashamed of their work. Like if it’s about sex, it’s… Cheap… Tawdry form of art or… The dreaded ‘not real writing’. Like if the story of two people meeting, connecting with one another in the most primal and human way is somehow less than if that same story were told but the focus not being about sex but instead the focus being this…” You sighed, “I don’t know, flowery, almost virginal point of view with characters that are just perfect and have no flaws. Selling on the story of true love fixes all when… Sometimes love just isn’t enough. I get the appeal, don’t get me wrong, we all want a little fantasy but… I don’t know, there’s just this double standard in the industry. That to be seen as a true writer, you can’t make the emphasis on passion and desire, but you are if what you write about is how someone completes you and I…”
His smile was gentle, warm, the chuckle escaping him matched it. “That’s… That’s not you.”
“No…” you answered, a sly smile to your face. “I’m not or ever will be ashamed that I write hot ass smut.”
“I…” he started, his grin wide and eyes twinkling with utter amusement. “I can’t say for sure or not, but I definitely don’t doubt it.” Brows raising in thought, his smile turning a bit mischievous, “Then again… I could go ahead and buy your books, couldn’t I? To know for sure, completely and without question…”
Taking in a deep breath, ignoring the sense of panic at the mere thought of him reading your work, you tried to play it cool, shaking your head. “Oh, I don’t know if you could handle it, honestly? I mean… Your immediate go to for porn were playboy, or, er, playgirl… You’re kinda behind the times.”
“Oh, am I?” his face still the perfect image of amused. “Would you rather I whip out names like, brazzers or something?”
A dramatic eye roll given, “God, you would go for brazzers. All men go for brazzers.”
“Oh, is that unoriginal for you? And you would go for…?”
“Mmm… Nubiles, Vixen… Adult Time can be good… For straight, porn, anyway. Bellesa is doing good...” You look at his face and you laugh. “Am I shocking you that I know this many labels of porn creators?”
“A bit, yeah!” he barked out with a laugh. “I, erm… Just that… You watch porn.”
“I write porn, so of course I watch it. How else am I supposed to write out the sexual depravity that my readers secretly yearn for but would never say out loud? That’s my job, I give it to them, make them explore a bit of themselves they never voiced or would even admit to their own damn selves. It’s selfless work.”
He practically giggled. You made this man giggle. Looking incredulously at you, leaning back, shaking his head, “Oh, now I’ve got to read your stuff. It’s a need, now. As soon as we…ever finish this conversation, I’m going to my kindle. Though, I do like the physicality of reading an actual book most of the time…”
“Well, I am selling them in the dealer’s room… I even have an in for them to be personally signed by the author. She’s hard up for money and attention, so…” You shrugged.
His hand dramatically smacked against his own chest, right over his heart, “I would be honored to have personally signed copies of that particular author’s works. I heard very good things. And then I can fully understand what the fuck is lady porn and see if I become a whole new man after I do.”
“Love to hear it, if you manage it over the weekend… At least your taste in porn would improve.”
His ears were burning, smiling wide and looking down for a moment. Positively bashful at the comment, licking his lips. “Did that, um… Probably not, I mean, you just admitted to watching a fair bit of it, but um… I mean… Though you are sort of insulting my supposed lack of porn knowledge—”
“Supposed? Are you saying you’ve seen more than you’ve let on?”
The smirk he let out was like that of a young schoolboy that was up to no good. “…no. Well… Maybe—I mean, if I did, would that… Would you…” He huffed a small laugh, “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, it feels ridiculous…”
“Oh,” you let out, quickly understanding. “Are you, like… Are you worried whatever version of you inside my head is shattered on the fact that… I don’t know… That you watch porn, even basic porn, and are not, in fact, squeaky clean bordering on virginal?”
“…basically, yeah.”
You had to laugh, even a little bit, “Oh, you’re cute.”
“Stop it.”
“No,” you laughed. Realizing you needed to elaborate on that singular no. “I mean… No, there is no…shattering of whatever image of you out there or… I’m not disappointed or anything. Never thought you above porn, obviously. Or like… You’re so squeaky clean that I thought you wouldn’t…indulge. Fuck, I indulge… You’re grown, do what you want.”
“So… Doesn’t make you think less of me that I’m… Like I’m some big perv? Like um…”
“Oh, you are a big perv,” you laughed, “Remember? You were glued to the sight of my boobs, like…”
He burst out laughing, a grin on your face.
“You, Joseph Quinn, are an absolute pervert. And that’s okay.”
“…god, I’m never living that down, am I? Not ever? You’re going to go through life and just, whenever I’m brought up, just… ‘Oh, yeah, I met him once. A fucking caveman of a perv just looking at my tits.’ Amazing impression I’ve left.” You snickered, “One hell of a role model of a human being.”
“Shut up, it’s not terrible. Makes you human, you know? Honestly? It’s kinda…” And you trail off, your words halting.
And he catches it, of course, he catches it. Big brown eyes lighting up, looking at you, expectantly.
Your lips twitch, the words burning on your tongue, your bold, up-front attitude begging you to say it. Maybe he’ll be flattered, or perhaps it would catch him off guard that you’d see his ears get all pink and cute and it could be a nice memory for you to hold on to. But there was a part of you that was holding back. That didn’t want to veer into the realm of being cringe, though you hated the term and what it’s become. You wanted to be authentic, wanted to be yourself.
You wanted to say that the fact he was a bit of a perv… Was actually kind of hot.
The fact that you liked that he thought with his dick, that he wasn’t some baby girl type of man that you had to censor yourself around. That he could say fuck and wanted to get fucked. That he wasn’t the persona you saw on hundreds of TikTok’s on your for you page. Not fitting the narrative so many of his fans projected onto him. That he could be crude. He liked tits. Probably ass, too. Maybe even a leg man. Liked porn, wouldn’t mind reading your porn, if he was being honest about that.
The fact that all of that was very… Very hot to you was alarming enough that you just didn’t want to speak it out loud.
He was just being nice. And you didn’t want to say or do anything that would make him…not want to be nice.
Luckily, very luckily, your food was brought to the counter, veering both of you off topic.
Thank God.
Sliders, loaded fries, drinks and…a very generous slice of the chocolate ganache ricotta cheesecake — with caramel drizzle. You smiled, looking from the plates set in front of you back to Joseph. “Guess our conversation has come to an end. I should get this back to my very hungry friends by now.”
He gave a nod, smiling gently, though there was a sense of disappointment in his gaze at you. “…I have to get a hold of my mate, as well.” He watched as you stared at the plates, holding the sliders in one hand, the loaded fries in the other, still leaving the three drinks and the cheesecake. Biting his lip, he picked those right up, catching your eye with a smile. “Let me help you to your table, yeah? It’s practically on my way out.”
You furrowed your brow, “Are you sure? I can always make two trips or even text my friend to come help me—”
“Nah, we could do it just fine, I think. It’s no trouble, I promise.”
Part of you wanted to protest, insist that you could do it on your own or even bring Jen or Gerry along to help. You figured he had some place way more important to be, but the look of that smile on his face and his willingness to help… God, it wasn’t like you could say no, could you? A relenting breathy laugh flowed from you, as well as the relaxing of your shoulders. “That…would be amazing, actually… Thank you.” With a smirk, you added, “Your mum definitely raised you right.”
“Oh, can I tell her you said that? I think she worries, sometimes…”
His cheeky smile makes you laugh, only allowing the smile to grow wider. You started off on your path, allowing him to follow.
Licking his lips after a few steps, he took a deep breath. “Fake Taxi.”
That caused you to pause a moment, looking back at him, clearly confused.
He chuckles, nudging your shoulder. “…it’s not just brazzers, it’s… Sometimes it’s Fake Taxi.”
It clicks, and you let out a snort. “…really? Huh… I watch that sometimes, too…” You start walking again, spotting the jovial look on his face. “Do I have to sign an NDA now that you’ve confessed that Joseph Quinn watches porn? Wouldn’t want that all over the internet…”
“I don’t think you’d disappoint my mum like that… I am her baby boy, after all…” he let out as you let out a laugh. “And… Oddly… I kinda trust you.”
There was a warmth the sparked within you, not up your neck or on your face… But within your chest, surprising yourself. Taking a deep breath, you let out a sigh. “Well… It would ruin people’s image of you being so babygirl, so… I wouldn’t dare be the reason behind that.”
He let out a sigh, “Babygirl, really? I don’t even get Babyboy? Or man. Babyman?”
You know he’s trying to be cute, and he in fact, very much is, and you can’t help but let out a small laugh, turning to look at him. “…you really standing there in front of me, preferring to be called Babyman?”
“Not good?” he said with such a serious face, that it becomes comical to you. “Think I should go with something else? You’re the writer, what do you suggest?”
“From my ongoing conversation with you? Manchild.”
He let out a gasp, an actual gasp, looking at you with a hurt expression. “That hurt.”
“For someone that’s so dead set against being called babygirl… You sure are acting very babygirl.”
He tutted, “For the last time… I’m manly. Maybe you should spread the word. Do a TikTok.” Though the smile on his face gave the impression he didn’t mind, carrying on behind you, walking through the throngs of people, still… Avoiding the crack in the floor and further and further along toward your table.
You saw Jen and Gerry straight away, but there was a third person, very tall. Lanky, even. Speaking animatedly so much that his arms were almost flailing about and from what you could tell from Jen’s face, telling a rather intriguing story. Shoulder length blond hair swayed with his movements, a rich voice starting to cut through the crowd. It was familiar. You recognized him, you think. There isn’t much you can tell from the back of someone’s head. It wasn’t until…
“Jamie?” came Joseph’s voice beside you and that’s when the other turned around and those bright blue eyes confirmed it for you.
That was Jamie fucking Campbell-Bower.
V e c n a, himself.
“Mate!” Joseph let out, putting the trays he had on your table, putting his hands on Jamie’s shoulder. “Where the fuck have you been, yeah? Been waiting for you, meaning to call you, but...” Whether he intended to or not, his eyes flickered toward you for a split second, before going back toward his mate. “…got distracted. Where you been?”
“Right!” he let out, his hands grasping at Joseph’s forearms, “Sorry! Meant to call as well, signing went a bit longer than expected. Mobile completely died…”
“Oh, so, even if I called you…”
“Yeah, you’d been fucked, mate, sorry.”
He laughed, “Well, I feel not as bad, now, cheers.”
Jamie laughed, patting his arm, “Well, we found one another now and —” turning toward your table, “Mobile’s been charged.”
“Me,” Jen let out, “Because of me, because I have a portable charger on me, hi,” looking directly at you. Eyes wide, and an expression that was genuinely screaming — you’ve got some explaining to do, Miss.
You let out a grin, returning the look pointedly at her, wondering what your life was right now. “Always bring a portable charger,” you let out, placing the trays in your hands to join the ones that Joseph let down. Turning to Joseph, you gestured toward your friends, “So, these are the hungry friends I was trying to get more food to… My best friend Jen and her forever fiancé, Gerry.”
He immediately let go of Jamie and toward them, “Hello! Hi, lovely to meet you,” shaking their hands warmly. “Right, well, I’m Joe.”
“Oh, we know,” Jen let out, a smile on her face looking from Joe and to you. “Yeah, we know who you are.”
Wench.
“Nice to meet you,” Gerry interjected, thankfully, shaking his hand. “We loved Eddie, you did such a cool job, amazing job. When we all watched it, one of the specific things that struck me was like… Eddie was so someone I knew in high school, like, you got that down, it was really cool.”
You watched as Joseph put his hand over his heart, his face melting, “Oh my god, thank you, that’s very kind. Yeah, I’ve been getting that a lot, and it honestly means so much. I’m glad…” A soft laugh let out, “Whatever I did, it’s honestly a blur sometimes, resonated so much, thank you.” Taking a deep breath, “Now,” a step back, his fingers swaying between Jamie and Gerry, “…you two seemed a bit familiar, there a story there? I’m not jealous, but…” His back straightened, looking between the two, “I sort of am.”
“Joseph, you know you’re my favorite boy.”
“I demand answers.”
“I demand you not be so fucking rude, hi,” Jamie let out, turning to you with a warm smile and a hand, “Since I was going to wait forever, I’ll introduce myself,” pausing for the snort Joseph let out. “I’m Jamie, love,” he chuckled through. “Nice to meet you, how are you?”
You laughed, taking his hand and shaking it, “I’m amazing, lovely to meet you. And since we’re blowing up Joseph’s ass,” you started, getting a laugh out of that from the boys, “Can I say… Your casting was fucking brilliant. The way how soft One was when he was just the orderly? If I was looking into those big blue eyes, I would have believed anything he said, so good on you.”
 Jamie laughed, holding your hand even tighter in his grip. “Oh, that’s so lovely of you! Warms my heart to hear that.”
“Honestly, I mean it, and that whole reveal with Vecna, One, Henry, that was so beautiful.”
“Yes, it was… Honestly so pleased how it turned out. And I did enjoy doing the whole monologue with Henry, really getting to know how his mind works. Thank you, I appreciate that so much, darling.”
Joseph took in a deep breath, “Yeah, this is why I didn’t introduce you, mate.”
You snorted, looking over at him and stuck out your tongue. “Anyway… And despite him being rude… I concur, you two looked like you knew one another… But that’s impossible because Gerry would never let that slip his mind to not even mention to us…” your words trailed, as you looked to the man in question, narrowing your eyes. “…yes, you fucking would, actually.”
Taking a deep breath, Gerry scratched the back of his neck. “We… Well… We kinda played a few clubs together, a few years back… During one of my tours…”
“Shit,” Joseph let out, recognition hitting him. “You’re in that band. With your brother, yeah? You’re a musician. Fuck, you look different.”
A sheepish smile came over Gerry’s face, “Oh… Yeah, I’m kinda known for being wildly inconsistent with my looks, at least back then.” Looking over at Jamie, “How’s the music coming along?”
“Oh, chaotic, as usual, but fun but definitely still going, though very slowly. Which I sort of enjoy, no need to rush it.”
“Slow and steady,” Jen supplied, looking directly at you which only made you narrow your eyes.
Choosing to ignore it, knowing exactly what she was driving at. “Sorry, sorry, I’m still going over the fact that you two,” a swaying hand between Jamie and Gerry, “…know each other. I mean, I kinda expect it, but the fact that,” pointing at Jen, “Did you know this?”
“No,” she said sternly, her brows risen as she said it. “Trust me, it was just as big of a surprise to me, too.�� Turning to her fiancé, she cleared her throat. “We’re gonna have a big talk about this.”
“We’ve could’ve had Jamie Campbell Bower on a podcast, and you just sat on that information?! Dishonor on you and your whole ass family. Except Jen. Obviously.”
“You have a podcast?” You heard Joe practically squeak, Jamie laughing soon after.
Smiling a bit, you turn to him, “I have a bit of everything. Some of us embrace the internet and don’t act like some babyface boomers.”
Jamie cackled, his hand patting Joe on the back as he stood there, staring at you in a mock offended expression on his face as he let out, “How… Fucking… dare you.”
“I don’t know, mate, she seems to got you clocked,” Jamie let out, giving an approving nod. “Spot on, love.”
Joseph let out a sigh, “…oh, you’re all against me.”
“Well,” you replied, “You just make it both easy and so much fun.”
Jamie crossed his arms, looking between the two of you, “Okay, well, got me curious, how’s this come about?”
Joe let out a chuckle, “Jealous, are we?”
“A bit, you’re my precious boy —” his smile breaking out as he looked at you, “I’m just curious, crazy coincidence? Or serendipity.”
But before you could even attempt to answer, Joe beat you to it. “Oh, I saved her.”
You watched as Jen’s eyes widened, head tilting and worry on her face, “Excuse me, what?”
“The floor,” Joe started, “…attacked her. Almost sent her to her death, but I was there.”
And just like that, the worry fled her face as she let out a sigh. “The boots?”
“That and a crack on the floor, yeah. Or just uneven flooring. I don’t know, the tip of my boot hit it and yes, Joe was there and…caught me when I fell.”
You hated the way Jen’s face lit up at that. You’ve known her for so long that you knew the wheels were turning in her head. Soon enough, she let out, “Wow, that sounds… Absolutely storybook. You should write about it.”
Oh, if looks could kill… Or at the very least give a light smack of the head. “It was very…serendipitous.”
“It was good luck,” Joseph let out, clearing his throat. “Just plain good luck,” pointing a look at you.
That made you smile as you looked over at him, “Again, thanks for saving me.”
Chuckling softly, he gave a nod, “Well, that would’ve been embarrassing, I hear. Dying on your birthday, glad to help avoid that.”
If your eyes hadn’t been so trained on Joseph, you would have seen the look between Jen and Gerry, though you knew… You knew… As soon as it was just the three of you, the questions would come bombarding you. You couldn’t even blame them, really. This was easily the most insane few moments you’ve ever experienced. And it wasn’t quite over, yet, as Jamie slapped his hands on Joseph’s shoulders, eyes wide, “Joseph, you’re a hero now? Fancy that.”
“Are you proud, Papa?” he asked cheekily, looking up at him.
“Insanely, always knew you were so good.” Both chuckling at each other, before Jamie’s blue eyes found you. “And you! Happy Birthday, I hope it’s a good one.” He pointed at the slice of cheesecake, “Is that your birthday treat?”
“I was noticing that,” Jen chirped, “Treating yourself?”
“Actually…”
“I bought it for her, put it on my tab,” Joe answered, notably avoiding any glances before gently patting Jamie’s cheek, making him blink and look incredulously at him. “Oi, we got to book it,” he managed to get out before having a chuckle. “I got that panel in a few hours, but we wanted to…”
“Oh, right, that place, yeah…” Looking at the three of you, he smiled politely, “Sorry, would’ve loved to have a sit down but we really wanted to check out —”
“Jamie, no,” Joe let out, shaking his head, and looking at you with squinty eyes. “…. she’ll make fun of us.”
You have out a gasp, your hand over your heart, “How dare… I mean, probably.” It was your turn to narrow your eyes, looking at them both. “…it’s something British, isn’t it?”
Lifting his chin up, Joseph placed a finger against his lips and then a zipping of lips flourish which made you chuckle. His smile spread wide as he gave you a wink. “Happy Birthday. See you around the circus.”
“Wave a white flag if you need help,” you told him, watching the flash of his teeth as he dragged Jamie away who waved at you all. You couldn’t help it, watching after him until he was out of sight. Mainly because you couldn’t quite comprehend what just happened between the two of you, and the other part…
God, now you had to face Jen.
Your best friend in the world, sitting back in her seat with the most shit eating grin you had ever seen in your life. Letting out a soft groan, you sat down, pushing the burgers and sliders towards her — though you grabbed one for yourself. Taking a bite and with a flourish of your hand, gestured toward her. “Go ahead.”
“You fell into his fucking arms?!” was her immediate start. Her face disbelieving, a laugh struggling to come out. “That is why your ass was taking so long?”
“Hey, I almost died.”
“But you didn’t. And why? Because you had Mister Tall, British Man there to catch you when you fell!” Shaking her head, taking a slider and taking a bite but still looking at you.
The smile couldn’t help but form on your lips, shaking your head, “It was…a surreal moment.”
“It was a Jane Austen kinda moment.”
“He definitely has those vibes.”
“Dare we say like a Bridget Jones and Mark Darcy kinda vibe?”
You shook your head, “Wasn’t embarrassing enough for that. I’d have to had my boob fall out or show off my chonies or something like that. He’d make an awesome Mark Darcy, though.”
“He’d like you. Just as you are.”
“Fuck off,” you laughed, your attention going to Gerry, “But also, seriously, never mentioned the whole Jamie thing? We all saw Stranger Things together, dude.”
He held his hands up, “Hey, I meet a lot of people and you both know I hate name dropping.”
Sighing, looking at Jen, “Of all the musicians you had to fall for, you get the modest emo one.”
She sighed, looking at Gerry, “I know. The heart wants what it wants and we just gotta deal with it.”
“Love you, too.” Gerry leaning back in his seat, “Fine, maybe I could ask if he wants to sit in on a podcast, he might be really fun for you guys, actually.”
“Or Joe,” Jen lets out, smiling like the Cheshire cat at you. “Fess up. Did you get that man’s number?”
You snorted, looking at her with an arched brow. “Oh, I love that you think that I would even attempt to shoot my shot with him. Are you kidding? Do you know how many people in this vicinity that want to dick that man down? And the fact he’d probably turn them all down to dick down someone entirely not of our league, like an actress, model, singer… No. No, I did not score his number. I didn’t even ask for a photo.”
“What do you mean, you didn’t ask for a photo?! Like c’mon, he totally would have said yes.”
“I don’t know!” you said, finishing off the slider, giving a shrug. “I… I didn’t even think about it, honestly? Though, someone did approach and somewhere there is a pic of me and a pic of him with someone. One of my folks, a reader.”
You watched as Jen’s face switched from outraged to something resembling…pride. “Oh wow, that’s kinda cool.” Letting out a sigh, “You still should have…. I don’t know, if you weren’t going to get his number, at least a photo or something.”
“I got a cheesecake, and… Honestly… We talked, like, a lot.” You smiled, shaking your head. “He’s… He’s pretty cool, actually. Funny, too. More than those interviews usually show… I rather have had the conversation than like, a photo or a number that… Let’s face it. He’d either give me a fake one or change it overnight. Or ghost me, if he’s the type. It was good, the moment we had. I enjoyed it.”
“That’s all that matters,” Gerry let out, looking to Jen with as stern a look he could muster. “That’s all that matters.” He paused a moment, looking at you. “He smiled at you a lot though. There was definitely…something between you two.”
“Oh, God.”
“Right? Right?!” Jen practically squealed, “I knew it, I saw it, too! This is why I love you.” Gerry raised his brows, “One of many reasons! I promise.”
“You guys are way off. He’s just really nice, that’s all. But I’m glad he was. If he turned out to be a dick, that would be devastatingly heartbreaking.”
They both gave a relenting nod, eating their food for a moment while you dug into your cheesecake. Though you hadn’t meant to, your mind sort of swirled with little replays of that whole experience with him. The sound of his laugh, his smile, his eyes. Smiling a bit to yourself as you take that first bite, a small groan of appreciation.
It tastes sweeter than you remembered.
Your mind not daring to venture as to why, but you knew.
“He’s not my type—”
“Yeah,” you started, “We saw how you were looking at Jamie—”
“Shut up,” Jen told you, amongst your cackling, though she relented, “Okay, yeah, but… Joseph looked good… Like… With the beard and hair, you know what he looked like, right?”
“Enjolras,” you gave out, quite dreamily, without even taking a beat. “He was giving Enjolras.”
You could see Jen’s pearly teeth in her smile as she leaned forward, “You fucking love Enjolras.”
Your lips struggled to contain the smile that came out from the statement, the very true statement. Couldn’t deny it even if you wanted to. She was there when you all binge watched Les Misérables and watched him on screen, your eyes never leaving him, unashamedly.
“Enjolras is fucking hot,” you relent. “He was very hot…”
He still is.
Breaking out of the trance that induced you into, dragging reality to crash down into you. “Not that it matters. He’s probably… No, you know, it doesn’t even matter if he’s dating someone or not, it’s not… I’m not looking for anything and… No point in even entertaining anything otherwise. I’ll probably see him passing by through the con and nothing more than that, so… Yes, he’s hot, and very nice and…”
He smelled good. Like very good.
“You purring?”
Grabbing your straw, opening the end and blowing through it as the paper wrapper hit her so perfectly. Making her laugh. “You know what? Fuck off, firstly. And to prove that I know nothing will come of this, so it won’t be awkward… And a bit of an ego boost for me…” You licked your lips, a momentary sense of guilt, but, continuing anyway. “You know how he was there to catch me? He was walking and saw my boobs and was distracted so much that he was just there when I tripped.”
Sorry, Joseph. But it really wasn’t like you were going to see him again. And it really was too good to not share eventually.
“No!” your friend gasped.
“Oh, wow,” Gerry let out. “You guys know I’m still here, right?”
Ignoring him, you nodded, “Yup. Joseph Quinn? Total tit man.”
“Spellbound by the chichis,” Jen laughed. “I mean, wench, they do look nice in that top, not gonna lie.”
“And that totally saved my life, probably, maybe. Saying that, stays with us, don’t wanna spread that around. He did save my life, and,” gesturing towards your boobs as you sat back. “You’re right. Can’t blame him.” A soft chuckle emerges just as you feel the strong vibration of your phone. Shit. Telemarketer? Sister? Dad? Sitting up and digging into your pocket, you recognized the contact as none of the previously mentioned. “It’s the con peeps,” you let out, accepting the call. “Hey, what’s up, did we get bumped off?”
“Hey, sorry, no, not that. We’re uh, we’re kinda in a bind.”
Looking over at Jen and Gerry, you raised a brow, “What kinda bind?”
“Shelly had to pull out. Or, um… Well, she had a sort of…emergency…”
Your eyes narrowed as that sounded ominous. “…what kind of emergency?”
“…the…bring a new life into the world kinda emergency.”
“Aww!” came your immediate response. “Oh, that’s great, god, I saw her earlier, she seemed so miserable being in this heat and over her due date—Oh.” You let out a hiss, “Oh yeah, yeah that sucks for you guys.”
“Yeah, it’s great for her, but, not so much for us, so… She had a panel that she was gonna moderate in a few hours. And you’re always good about filling in and it won’t interfere with any of your bookings or anything like that and you’re always so good with them… Can you cover it for her?”
“They want me to cover a panel,” you explained to your friends, covering the bottom half of your phone before getting back to the call. “Um, yeah, sure, she’s always good with notes so I won’t be completely in the dark.”
“You’ll be great, just, you know, maybe… Tone it down a bit?”
“Oh god, are there going to be children? I can’t… I mean I can try and censor myself, but you know what I’m like when I really get going.”
“I know, but we’re really in a bind…”
“You’ve said that. I’m like your last resort, aren’t I?”
“…I’m not going to say yes, but I’m also definitely not gonna say no…”
“I do love your honesty. Okay. Yeah, it could be fun. I had a big gap between tonight’s panel anyway, I could squeeze one in between. When is it?”
“A couple of hours, thank you! We were scrambling. Getting desperate, we really didn’t want to cancel.”
“I got you guys. Is it a group panel or…”
“No, no, it’s a solo one, one actor, a whole hour and vetted questions from the audience. It’s that guy from Stranger Things? New to the cons, he played Eddie Munson? It’s going to be a big crowd…”
Oh, there was a buzzing in your head. Looking over at your friends who looked a bit concerned right back at you.
Oh, god.
What even was your life?
It had to be a joke, right? Some cosmic joke that whatever higher being was up there, so bored that he decided to just fuck with your life.
And on your birthday.
On your birthday!
“…yeah. Yeah. I’ll be there.”
Jesus H. Christ.
What the fuck.
What the fuck?
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