#why do people who have access to ALL the fashion make such boring awful choices

[what-the--curtains]

Alliance

Chapter 6 – The Extraction

(Mando x f!reader)

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Summary: The auction leads you to the child but the empire’s hot on your tail. With all hope lost you make a choice.

Notes: None (feel free to interact im unemployed and bored)!!!

Tw: (very brief) mentions of drugs/sex/alcohol/addiction, swearing

Words: 3.9 k

Tagged: @crazycookiecrumbles

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You walk through the damp street, you don’t know what this dress is made of but the dirt and grime caused by the recent rain seemed to simply bounce off it. The streets were jam-packed, somehow even busier than they were the night prior and as the two of you make your way towards the auction hall Din’s visor scans the crowd, making sure nothing seems out of place. He takes care to never be more than a few inches away from you, convincing himself it's in order to maintain appearances. After all he knew you were more than capable of handling yourself, and why else would he feel the need to be so close to you.

“You lost beautiful?” A youthful looking Falleen asks as she appears out of the shadows

“No.” Din replies, making himself visible at your side when she moves into the light.

“Well I’m sure you're very beautiful under that armour Mando, but I was talking to your friend here.The names Isi and I make a living helping people around the city” Din’s about to respond again when you interject.

“Actually Isi we do seem to have gotten ourselves a bit lost, we're here for the auction.”

“I’ve heard of it,” she says, staring down at her manicure. You look up at Din motioning for him to pay her which he does begrudgingly. Taking the credits she leads you through the city, stopping outside a building covered completely in reflective mirrors.

“Best of luck” Isi, says offering you her hand

“Thank you, for your discretion” taking it you slide her a few more credits and she leans back against the wall of the building watching as the two of you enter. Two men in tailored suits open the inner doors granting you access to a small closed off foyer, also covered in the one way glass. You hand your invitation to the man on the right, parting your lips ever so slightly and gaze up at him batting your eyelids ever so slightly. In your experience a touch of flirting went a long way, especially when it came to moving through security.

He smiles and looks from you, up to the Mandalorian then back down. Turning his head to look at his partner he chuckles slightly.

“He your boyfriend, or something?”

“Bodyguard” you emphasize.

“Makes sense” he murmurs loud enough for the two of you to hear.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the modulated voice asks obviously aggravated.

“Never mind him, he’s just sensitive about the... you know ” you mime the outline of a helmet. The guard nods and lets you pass through placing his hand on the small of your back as you do causing you to cringe internally. Nothing worse than a stranger's hand where you didn’t want it. You glare back at the Mandalorian hoping your eyes would convey a message of ‘be cool’. A task he was about to accomplish when the second guard places a firm hand on his arm.“Leave the blaster Mando, there’s no weapons allowed.”

“He has no weapons” you interject, de-escalating the scene that was about to play out caused by the tremendous amount of male energy that was currently taking up the entire room.

“You’re right sorry ma’am, enjoy your evening” he says letting go of the Mandalorians arm allowing him to pass.

“Way to keep your cool, let’s try and get through the night without creating a scene” you say, slightly annoyed by whatever the hell he thought that display was going to achieve. Your anger disappears as you turn to an enormous room filled with people dressed to the nines in the finest the galaxy had to offer. Chandeliers dripping in diamonds hung down from the high ceilings illuminating the room like a sky full of stars and casting a rose gold hue across the occupants moving about the ballroom floor which seemed to sparkle underneath the high heels.

Servers moved seamlessly throughout the crowd; they were all dressed in lavish costumes, depicting various fashions from across space and time. The trays they carry are filled with multicolor foods and gem-coloured drinks. You’d never seen anything so opulent in your entire life. You’d noticed that servers would pair off with guests and disappear returning later with a look that could only be chalked up to exceptional sex or spice, both of which resulted in a similar glazed over and dewy look. A Darthomorian in a low cut red dress approaches you offering you a drink, you smile and thank them.

“I wouldn’t if I were you.” The modulator speaks up, as you bring the drink to your lips.

“Why? I might as well enjoy the lifestyles of the rich and dangerous while I’m here” you snap, apparently you were still upset at him.

“It has love wallop in it, makes the drinker more suggestible to certain propositions usually sent over by someone who wants to.” His voice trails off.

“Ew” you say pulling a face before dumping it in a nearby plant. “Guess I’m safer going to the bar.” You swirl your new, drug free, drink around and rest your elbows down on a nearby table, hoping the auction would begin shortly.

“How did you know what was in that drink.” You ask in an attempt to help pass the time.

“They show up at these kinds of things, so does spice and other illegal substances.”

“Once again how do you know about this? You spent a lot of time around illegal substances? I didn’t think it would be your scene.” you say taking a sip of the ruby coloured drink you had ordered.

“I’ve brought a lot of dealers over the years. It also crossed my path in my...” He pauses before continuing reluctantly “ wilder days.”

“Wilder days hey? Love to hear about those sometimes. You sample the product?” you probe, he gives you an unmistakable look of disappointment “Maybe you should, might help chill you out a bit.” You joke.

“That would go against my creed and fundamental belief system. Spice is...”

“Highly addictive, ya I know , it was a joke.” You say shaking your head, why did he have to be so high and mighty all the time.

“You’ve had it?” he seems surprised by this news, you hoped it wouldn’t change his opinion of you, the two of you had been getting on pretty well of late and you’d hate to jeopardize that.

“You gonna arrest me?” you joke nervously, hoping he didn’t notice how much his response mattered to you.

“No, just… how the hell did you stop? Are you okay to even be here, it's everywhere” was it disappointment or concern you picked up in his voice, you couldn’t quite discern between the two.

“I’ll be fine just tell me if it’s in anything I’m about to put into my body. And knock me out if you see me going for it” Diverting from the conversation you lift up a piece of food and show it to the Mandalorian who lets you know it’s safe to eat.

“Holy shit this is good!” you exclaim, looking around for where the waitress had gone

“Can you feel him?.” Din asks drawing your attention back to the reason why you were here in the first place.

“Too many people, I’ve already disrupted the force once I don’t want to do it again so quickly someone might notice. We’ll have to wait for the first item and follow whoever brings it out.” Just then a woman in a slinky red dress appears with some kind of an egg on a pillow and steps up onto the stage where an Ishi Tib drones out the rules and regulations for bidding.

“Is that an Kadri’Ra egg.” you ask in amazement.

“Looks like it”

“I thought they were extinct” you say still in awe

“Guess not” he replies, his shortness had become increasingly apparent over the course of the evening.

“We’ll get the kid soon, don’t worry, he has to be here.” You reassure, looking up at him causing him to look away. As the woman passes back through the crowd the two of you turn in tandem and follow her until you reach the back of the room. You stop and place your back against the wall, craning your neck you look to see which hallway the woman had disappeared down. You turn back quickly as another woman in similar garb appears out the largest of the hallways, carrying a cape made from an ice dragon pelt. As she moves towards the stage the two of you enter where she had exited. You move through the wide hallway until you reach the end, where a large metal door prevents you from moving any further.

“Should have about 15 minutes before the next one comes out.” You say stopping a few feet from the door. “you think anyone’s in...” you're almost done your sentence when you hear footsteps approaching from behind you.

Before you can make sense of what's happening the Mandalorian has pulled you into a thin hallway off shoot by the nook of your elbow. You’re now face to face with his chest and suddenly very aware of how tall he was.

“Where’s the other half of the item, seriously were two in and I’m looking like a fool up there!” an Arkanian, who you assume must be the collector and the host of the party, exclaims. You see them do a double take to where you're currently hiding, and watch as they begin to move towards the hallway.

“Can you pick me up?” you whisper urgently,

“Yes, but…”

“do it now” he complies with your order, as he does you wrap your legs around the armour covering his hips and prop your back against the wall, draping your arms loosely over his shoulders before burying your head in the part of his neck bare from armour, hoping that the compromising position would be enough to deter the collector rom asking any question. Out of the corner of your eye you watch as the presenter takes note of the two of you. Raising their eyebrows they turn and move back to the door.

“Yes that’s it, get it out there now so the bidding can begin, gods it’s hard to find good help these days.” they exclaim turning and following behind the presenter with the newly acquired artifact. You let out a sigh of relief removing your face from his neck quickly realizing that your nose is just millimetres away from his helmet.

“You can put me down now” you whisper breathlessly, for a reason you couldn’t quite explain. You take note of the slight hesitation that precedes him dropping you. Gathering yourself you exit the hallway and reposition yourself in front of the large metal door. You can’t see a panel on it or a key slot, it must only be accessible from the inside looking up, you spot a window.

“Give me a boost” you say, and he obliges. You lift the hem of your outfit and step onto his interlocked hands which he uses to push you up enabling you to reach the ledge. Pulling yourself up you roll through the window and drop down onto the rooms floor alerting the person in charge of handing out the auction items. You knock him out and swipe his key card using it to open the door for Din.

“This way” you say, dragging the handler's body over to a nearby post and tying him to it. Standing up you turn to see hundreds of items up for auction varying from Millaflower to a juvenile varactyl.

“Do you see him?” you ask, picking up a vial of what you recognized as death stick placing it back down when you hear him respond.

“No” you think you hear his voice break. “Wait.” he says, walking up to another, smaller closed off room placing a gloved hand on the door. He draws his blaster aiming for the lock. You lower his hand hoping to prevent a beam bouncing around the room subsequently giving you away. You lift up the key card you’d swiped from the guy in the room and use it to open up the door. He moves towards the oval container floating in the middle of the room and drops down to one knee as you watch tentatively from the door. Pushing a button the oval opens up and a tiny green three fingered hand reaches up for him. You hear a slight gurgle as the second hand comes up making a grabbing motion. Din picks up what has to be the most adorable creature you’ve ever seen.

“Told you I’d get you back didn’t I” he chuckles, you can hear the smile in voice as he hands the kid the small silver ball. You approach cautiously until you're standing beside him.

“Well fair enough I get why you traded me in for him” you say offering the child your finger which he grabs happily, looking up at you.

“ You two know each other or something?” He asks, his helmet staring up at you.

“Must be a force thing” you say, smiling down at the little critter.

“We have to go” you say, closing the egg hoping it would buy enough time to make a swift exit. With the child wrapped neatly under his arm the two of you move swiftly through the back alleys in darkness.

“Well that went better than I…” almost as if on cue, your speech is interrupted by the sound of blasters ricocheting off the ship's metal exterior. He hands you the child and rushes up to the cockpit to prepare for take-off.

“Brace yourself” he shouts down and you grab onto the overhanging bars with one hand and secure the child with your other, pressing your thigh against a beam in an attempt to stabilize yourself. As the ship lifts off the ground you hear the sounds of even more blaster bullets hitting its side.

“Din!” you yell up from below

“I’m working on it!” he shouts back down. A few moments later he manages to get the ship out of the reach of the blasters, punching it as he exits the stratosphere. A distinct beeping sound rings throughout the ship indicating there was a problem that needed fixing sooner rather than later. You ungrip your hands from the bars and check on the child who seems completely unaware of the situation. Using your free hand you pull yourself up to the cockpit where a disgruntled Mandalorian was cursing under his breath. You place the child down in the back seat buckling him in before taking your own.

“How far can we make it without stopping.” You ask after a long enough time had elapsed for the Mandalorian to calm down

“Far enough to be safe, I hope.” Turning to the side you see the kid sleepily closing its eyes.

“Could you put him to bed? I have to deal with this.” He says gesturing to the entire dashboard which was currently lit up like a tree on life day.

“Of course” you say, you were completely taken with the child, and more than happy to spend time with it.

“Alright where does he keep your bed then.” You say opening up a few compartments until you find the sleeping quarters. Opening the doors Anya’s head looks over to you evidently having slept through the whole ordeal comfortably on the bed. It was decent sized compared to most ship beds but still small especially for someone of Dins stature. Above it was a small hammock like contraption which you assumed was where the child, who was now more awake than asleep, slept.

“You need to rest.” You say softly, but he keeps staring up at you and grabbing at your hair. “C’mon you going to get me in trouble, with the guy upstairs” you smile down at him as he coos slightly. “Well I know one thing that used to help me sleep when I was about your size” You start to sing softly to the creature stroking one of its long ears as you do until it's fallen asleep. Unbeknownst to you the Mandalorian had heard you singing and followed the sound downstairs watching you and the child from afar.

“Mesh’la” he says louder than intended, causing you to turn around.

“He’s just asleep now,” you whisper, handing him to the Mandalorian so he can put him up top. You watch as he tucks the kid in gently squeezing one of its feet before turning back to quietly return to the cockpit.

“Did you say something down there?” you ask, sitting back in the co-pilot seat.

“No,well, yes I was just wondering what the sound was. I’d never heard something like it before.”

“What a lullaby. Didn’t have many of those growing up at the convent?” you ask, always slightly surprised by any personal information the Mandalorian revealed to you.

“No, at least none I can remember. What are they used for?”

“You’ve heard songs before though.”

“Yes, I heard some on Vryssa.”

“ Well Vryssa is home to many a folk song, helps people forget where they are. A lullaby is a song, often sung to a child to help them sleep.” You explain.

“What were you singing about.” He asks

“Ones was about a hanging that happened in Vryssa, told the story of two lovers planning to meet there”

“Doesn’t seem suitable for a child”

“No but I assume he doesn't speak English and lullaby is more about the melody than the words, the second was one passed down from my grandmother about the meadows of her home planet.”

“Where was she from your grandmother?” he asks.

“She never told me a name, only descriptions.”

“Maybe you’ll get to see it one day.”

“Ya maybe, if you and this kid don’t get me killed first.” you laugh, only partially kidding.

“Grogu.”

“Bless you?”

“The kids name, it’s Grogu.” he chuckled softly glancing over at you, still thinking about the way you had looked with him in your arms, singing softly.

After a while the beeping increases to a point where landing was no longer a task that could be put off. You step out onto a stone covered surface stretching out your legs and breathing in the remarkably fresh air.

“Think we lost them” you state, bending down and placing a palm on the smooth, cool moss covered stones. You stand back up and turn around watching as the Mandalorian exits the ship with a tool kit in hand and Anya and Grogu in pursuit. The kid follows Din over to where the damage is opting to stare up at him as he works, seemingly not wanting to be apart from him ever again.

“It's just one of the stabilizers, an easy fix we should be good to go soon!” He shouts over to you

“Anything I can do to help?” You offer

“No, It's a one person job. Thank you” With that you head off curious in exploration of the planet. It's old, empty, you wonder if anyone had ever been here before you. It wasn’t very livable, no trees, no food, no water, a truly desolate place. Yet it possessed a charm unique to planets of old, untouched by the reach of the empire, the republic and everything in between. You peer back over your shoulder, Anya’s sat protectively near the child who's still watching the Mandalorian rattle around the ship. You turn your head back as he closes up, not wanting to get caught staring. He picks up Grogu and re-enters the ship with Anya following close behind. You're about to join them when you feel something approaching. You begin to walk further from the ship and closer towards the presence you were feeling, stopping in your tracks when you see a triangular ship approaching. It's large, too big to be from any crime lord.

“It’s imperial” you hear a voice yell from afar as the Mandalorian makes his way towards you.

“Well never outrun them” you whisper, your brain running through the possible scenarios.

“We have to go”

``We'll never outrun them” you say louder and firmer this time, it didn't take an android to figure out what your probability of success was.

“We don’t have time to argue about this” he grabs your arm, but you pull it free turning to face him.

“Go” The words leave your mouth before you can process what you're saying. He doesn’t move. You can hear the ship approaching inching closer.

“Take them and leave, you have to protect them, keep them safe.” he was right you didn't have time to argue about this.

“Not without you.” he says refusing to move.

“Go!” you say shoving him “Now!”

“I'm not leaving you here”

“Yes you are, the kid he’s all that matters right now, go before he’s taken again. Now!”

“Just come with us” he pleads

“We won’t make it. You know we won't. This isn’t a negotiation. Go I’ll give you as much time as I can.” You see him finally accept the fact that this was in the only way.

“Here, take this” he says, giving you his blaster before turning and starting back towards the ship. He stops turning around one last time.

“(y/n) I…”

“I know” you say, using the force to throw him back towards the ship before turning to face the imperial ship which has landed a hundred yards in front of you.

Dialing up the ship Din takes note of the imperial model hoping he’d be able to find it again. As the troopers march out he sees you look back at him nodding your head as if to say you’ll be fine.You clear your mind breathing in the cool air. Closing your eyes you kneel on the ground placing one hand on the stone and the other on the blaster at your side. You can hear the ship taking off behind you as the troopers take aim firing at them from below, but the shots rebound off the force field that you’ve created.

You hold your ground as the troopers move in towards you determined to protect those inside the ship. Din watches as the blaster shots rebound back into the crowd of troopers. With one last look he jumps the ship into hyperspeed. He moves it into auto pilot and throws his head back in frustration as he hears Grogu cry out. “I know. Well get her back, but we're going to need some help” He says, picking up the kid holding him on his lap as he punches in the coordinates of a familiar planet. You drop the force field and begin firing when you hear the ship jump into hyperspace taking out as many troopers as you can before the blaster runs out. In one last ditch effort you throw it at a stormtrooper knocking it out. Slowly raise your hands in the air. They take aim. You prepare yourself.

“Wait! Don’t shoot” a tall man, dressed in all black says as the crowd of troopers part in his wake.

“We may not need the child after all.”

#the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din dijarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x y/n #reader insert #mando x reader #mando x you #mando x y/n #star wars #not canon #alliance #chapter 6

[lavender-rebellion]

The Reality of Existence  Chapter one

Masterpost

AO3 Link

Ships: Analogical and Royality

Description: "Thomas looked around his living room and felt a stone in his gut. He had four freshly human sides before him. Four human, terrified, grown adult men who had never lived a day in the real world. Four men who didn’t legally exist, permanently in reality. They were in his care now, and that dormant panic made itself known once more.“ A story about learning to live and learning to love. But also about being roommates, first jobs, being an adult, and that friendship really is the strongest force on earth. They all have things to teach and things to learn, but that’s part of being human. (They have to learn how to do that too, though)

TW for a panic attack and what can be seen as depression symptoms.

Thomas closed the door noisily behind him, letting out a heavy sigh and quickly making his way over in front of his TV, the familiar spot lending him some comfort and he could feel most of the anxious energy fall from his shoulders. He took a moment to take in the new perspective of his living room the spot gave him, before rolling his shoulder and finding the threads inside him. Thomas tugged at the one thrumming with more nervous energy than usual, watching Virgil appear on the stairs nearly immediately. Seems he was waiting for him, which was fair considering that Thomas had been thinking of this all day.

“It’s bad.” Virgil agreed quickly, wrapped up tight in his hoodie with darker bags than usual. Thomas still wasn’t sure if they were natural or makeup, and Virgil always dodged the question. Honestly, he didn’t know which one was more troubling, if Virgil apparently hadn’t gotten a good days sleep ever or if he thought it was a good fashion choice. Speaking of bad fashion choices…

“I knew it, they hated it!” He despaired, running a hand through his hair. Virgil nodded solemnly.

“There is an unusual amount of icky-sticky energy in here.” Patton rose up, hands on his hips. “If I didn’t know better I’d think your name was Vicky!”

Thomas let out a small chuckle at the Fairly Odd Parents joke because while it wasn’t Patton’s best it was clear that he was trying to cheer him up. Virgil sent a tense smile at the other side, who seemed to pick up on the mood and clapped his hands together.

“Alright then, what’s the problem, kiddo? I’ve got my listening ears on and I’m ready to ear you out!”

“It’s his new shirt!” Virgil chimed in, gesturing. Patton looked confused.

“My friends hated it!” Thomas clarified, “I looked awful all day, and they kept sneaking looks at it with this look on their face..”

“Thomas have we not already gone over your cognitive distortions? It was only a few months ago, surely you remember?” Logan rose up, flipping through a planner. He looked up to give Thomas a disapproving look, before returning Patton’s wave and sharing a smile with Virgil.

“Well yeah, but this is different.” Thomas insists, feeling a little silly but mostly like he needs to change his name and go into hiding.

“Look, Thomas, there is only one option and you know it. It’s time to move away to a remote village and become a hermit, never showing your face again.” Virgil cut in, chopping his hands down to emphasize his point. He nodded along, crossing his arms and wondering how long it would take to pack up his entire house and buy a new one. One without internet access, he couldn’t ever go online again.

“Uhhhh….” Patton looked up at Virgil dubiously. Logan shot him a similar look.

“That’s a bit of an overreaction, is it not? We can’t just go into hiding over a bad ‘look’.”

“Watch me.”

“What’s wrong with his shirt, again? I’m lost.” Patton asked.

“And why are you reacting so strongly to this, it’s hardly the worst thing you’ve worn out of the house,” Logan added, and Thomas clutched at his chest, offended. What could he possibly be talking about, and why was he so quick to remember it? Was it recent? Had Thomas just been walking out of his house looking like he got dressed in the dark for ages?

“Not helping, Lo!” Virgil ran his hands over his face, dark bags still perfect afterward which lent weight towards the natural theory..what were they arguing about again? “Anyway, that’s not the point, the point is that Thomas looked ridiculous all day and it’s all on camera!”

Oh right, that.

“OH! That’s right, you were filming that collab today weren’t you?” Patton jumped, clapping his hands together again. “How did that go?”

They all looked over at him, disbelieving, before turning back to the conversation.

“Everyone is going to see my stupid shirt and laugh, and screenshots are going to be all over Tumblr and there will be memes-”

“Are you really that worried about a bunch of 13-year-olds making fun of you?” Logan interrupted. Thomas ignored him.

“-and people are going to think I’m silly and then they’re going to realize that I’m a weird 30 year old who records himself talking to himself and posts it on Youtube-”

“Tumblr is not just a bunch of 13-year-olds, there’s plenty of young adults and adult adults. I mean, we’re on Tumblr, and so is Joan.” Virgil argued.

“Plus 13-year-olds are really mean,” Patton whined. Still ignoring them.

“-and they’re going to stop watching my videos which means I’m going to steadily lose money until I’m making none and then I’ll have to get a stuffy desk job-”

“That’s true. It’s like the John Mulaney skit, ‘13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world because they will make fun of you, but in an accurate way’.” Virgil quoted.

Patton gasped, “Oh I love John Mulaney! He is a very funny man.”

“That’s ridiculous, there’s no factual evidence that 13-year-olds are meaner or more observant than any of the ages near them.”

“Clearly you’ve never spoken to a 13-year-old.”

“-and I’ll spend the rest of my days living in a grey, unfulfilling haze where my coworkers make fun of me and send office emails around full of my earliest vines and those awful screenshots-” Ignoring them, just continue ranting.

“We are both sides, I’ve met every 13 year old you have.”

“And you’re still defending them?”

“Yeah, I’m on Virge’s side in this, Logan. 13-year-olds are just cruel.”

“I’m not defending them, I’m simply saying that there’s no logical reason-”

“There’s no logic in pre-teens-”

“Not even a teen- sy bit-”

“-and that will be my life, mockery and the cold confinement of office routine, no friends or boyfriends and I’ll die alone, without even a cat for company because I have this stupid allergy-”

CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

They all went quiet, echoing the clap and looking over at Roman, who had appeared a second ago while they were bickering.

“How am I supposed to practice my one-man duets if you are all making a racket?” Thomas squinted at the gaudy necklace he was wearing, a giant ruby pendant resting in the center of his chest. While he watched, it flashed a dim red light. Must have been the light catching the gem.

But everyone else glanced at it as well, including Roman. He looked pleasantly surprised.

“I didn’t know it did that. Neat!”

“What on earth are you wearing?” Logan sighed, glaring at the necklace in suspicion.

"Oh, it’s a best friend necklace! The Dragon Witch gave it to me-”

“The Dragon Witch?” Virgil interrupted, looking at him like he was crazy. Roman glared at him, but it lacked any real heat. He placed a hand on his hip and popped it dramatically.

“Yes, the Dragon Witch. We totally patched things up and are now great friends! Honestly, it was super judgy of me to declare her as evil just because she happens to be a dragon and a witch. She can’t help that! And there are good witches and dragons! Like Sabrina, or the characters from Dragon Tails!” Roman argued, waving his hand around. Patton nodded along, looking proud.

“That is so true! That’s so cool of you, Roman! And may I just say it is be- ruby -ful!” He beamed.

“Ayyyyyyy-” Roman pointed at him, looking delighted. Thomas hid his laugh behind his hand.

“That feels ill-advised,” Logan argued, Virgil gesturing at him in agreement, looking baffled. Personally, Thomas didn’t see the problem with it. But they were once again off track, and Thomas’s problem still hadn’t been solved, so he shrugged and decided that there were no real arguments against Virgil’s idea and that must mean it was fine. He turned and moved to grab his suitcases out of the hall closet.

“Maybe you should evaluate why you hate dragons and/or witches because it’s not her problem that you have a bias.” Roman sassed.

“I have no problem with either of those things, I’m simply saying that prior behavior suggests- Thomas where are you going?” Logan cut off, confused. Thomas blinked and jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

“Gotta pack, so I can become a hermit.”

Logan sighed and adjusted his glasses. “You are not becoming a hermit.”

“I’m not?” “He’s not?”

Logan glared at Virgil and Patton. “No, you aren’t. Thomas, I know you remember our conversation about cognitive distortions so I’m not going to bother rehashing it, and instead let’s get to the root of this problem. Yes, you may have looked silly today, and your friends may or may not have noticed it. Your outfit will certainly be in the video, and others may or may not make fun of it. But we both know that is where it will end, and that it is a minor problem. So why are you making such a big deal about it?”

“Yeah, buddy, it’s not like you to make mountains out of mole-hills.”

It was Thomas’s turn to sigh, body slumping out of its tense position. “You’re right- (“I’m always right.”) - I’m overreacting. I’m just worried about Cartoon Therapy.” He admitted.

“That’s the new script you and Joan are working on, right?” Patton wondered.

“Yes! It’s going to be amazing, you are just going to love the therapist, Pat!” Roman gushed.

“But that’s the thing, what if it isn’t amazing? What if it sucks? I’ve never made such a long scripted episode, what if it gets boring or repetitive? What if people don’t like the new characters? I mean it isn’t like I made you guys up, and I don’t write our scripts from scratch-”

“Take a deep breath, Thomas.” Virgil soothed, looking a little frazzled but much more relaxed compared to earlier. Thomas hadn’t even noticed his anxiety ebb into a dull static. He did as he said, sharing a smile with him at the reference.

“Thanks.” He murmured quietly.

“Give yourself some credit, you’ve created characters people have loved before, in much shorter bits. Take your personification of Sleep, for example. He is well-liked and barely fleshed out. I’m sure characters you can take your time establishing will be just as well received.”

“And if you can’t give yourself credit, give some to Joan. We all know they are a creative genius.” Patton added, speaking softly. “The script will be fine, and the characters will be great. All you can do is give your best try when writing, and watch it come to life.”

“For now, distract yourself and allow yourself to calm down. Put on Parks and Recs! It’ll work out.” Roman suggested. Thomas nodded, feeling much calmer than when he came in. He took another deep breath and grinned at his sides.

“Thanks, guys.”

“It was no problem, I a- shirt you.” Patton shot him finger guns and winked, and then-

Just stood there. Thomas’s brow creased in confusion, watching panic slowly bleed into his expression.

“Pat?”

“I-uh,” The others were looking at him in concern now, “I can’t sink out.”

“What?”

“I can’t sink out.” He stressed, and Logan fidgeted with his glasses.

“How is that possible, Patton-”

“I don’t know!” Patton snapped, looking very upset. “I just know I can’t!”

“I can’t either.” Virgil blurted out, his voice layering.

“This is probably nothing. Lets just all take our own deep breaths, close our eyes and focus on the living room.” Logan said, terse. Thomas watched them all do so, fear rising inside of him at an alarming rate. None of them sunk.

“What’s happening?” He asked. They all looked a little crazed, wide eyes darting around.

“I don’t know, this shouldn’t be possible! What could have-” Logan’s head darted up from where it was buried in his hands. “Your necklace!”

Roman jumped, alarmed at the outburst. A lightbulb went on over Thomas’s head.

“It flashed earlier! When you arrived!”

Roman looked even more alarmed, hands going to the chain and frantically yanking it up over his head, tossing it to the ground. There was a split second of relief on all of their faces before the ruby once again lit up, this time with a blinding red light that filled the entire room, too bright to see through. Thomas could hear the sounds of bodies thumping to the floor and he blinked rapidly, trying to clear the spots from his eyes.

Four men were crumpled on the floor (and stairs), but they weren’t the men who were there just a minute ago. They were all dressed like his sides, but it wasn’t his face looking back at him. He could feel his breath hitching in his chest, his lungs empty and his chest burning. He sunk to the floor and curled up, sticking his head between his legs. He could fuzzily recognize this as a panic attack, though he had never had one this severe, and clumsily went through tactics he remembered reading when researching Anxiety. It took him a while, but eventually, he was back to being aware. The men were still on his ground.

In Patton’s place was a man with curly blond hair and a scattering of freckles across his rounder cheeks. He was a bit softer all around, and round glasses lay on the ground next to him. Roman had been replaced with a tanner version of him, a face that was similar to Thomas’s, but his hair was a dark ginger and thicker, his swoop larger than usual. He seemed broader than usual as well, but he was crumpled oddly and Thomas couldn’t be sure. Instead of Virgil, there was a slight man with wild purple hair, lightly curling around his face. It looked like there was a suggestion of freckles on his pale skin as well, but he was too far away and the maybe-freckles were light if they were there at all. His makeup -or not?- was gone, replaced with very real eye bags that were much less severe but still noticeable. And not-Logan was, well, tall. Not giant, but he appeared taller than before, with black hair neatly styled out of his face, which also looked much like Thomas’s own. Actually, they appeared like they could be siblings, and not-Logan looked the most like who he should be. Does that make sense? Thomas didn’t really care, he was still panicking.

Not-Patton looked the least like Thomas, with not-Virgil hovering somewhere between him and not-Roman. There was a strong suggestion of Virgil’s features but they were more…delicate somehow. Like a distant relative of Talyn’s and a less distant relative of his. Patton didn’t look much like him, while Roman could be a cousin and  Logan could be his brother. Because that’s who they were, he knew it and he had to stop lying about it. Those were his sides, only they weren’t very side-like at all.

A low groan came from Logan, the body shifting on the floor and pushing up into a sitting position. Thomas froze, looking at the strange frame which suddenly felt like it was sitting much too close to Thomas’s own. He scooted back, tense. Logan blinked the spots from his eyes as well, before freezing. He was looking straight at Patton. Thomas was sure he was just as startled as he was, but then Logan relaxed and leaned back against the wall.

“Oh good, we’re back.” He hummed quietly to himself.

“Uh, what the fuck ?” Thomas blurted, feeling somehow more confused and nervous. Logan nearly jumped into the air, head whipping around to face him, dark blue eyes blinking once more at him. His brow drew down in confusion.

“Thomas? But how did you- maybe the light….no, because we never appear like this with you around…” He muttered. They were both interrupted by movement on the staircase, Virgil righting himself on the steps, holding his head. His face was scrunched tight in discomfort, and Logan’s attention snapped to him.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked Virgil, lowly. Virgil nodded, eyes clearing the last of the light and locking with the other sides.

“Fine, Lo. We’re back then?” He noticed the tight line of Logan’s mouth and suddenly Thomas was staring into green.  Virgil’s eyes aren’t brown anymore, either, a grey-green color replacing the familiar warmth. They narrowed.

“That’s not right…”

“What is going on?!” Thomas asked forcefully. He doesn’t get an answer, Patton stirring by the curtains interrupting them. He fumbled for his glasses, clumsily shoving them back on his face and opening his eyes.

“Well, that sure was a pain in the neck , very ruby of that Dragon Witch if you ask me.” Patton joked, though it lacked humor. Just like the other’s his body went slack when he noticed the others, but straightened as he immediately took note of Thomas. He absentmindedly noticed that Patton’s eyes were a sky blue. “Why are you in our living room?”

“I-what-” Thomas spluttered. Patton’s attention shifted just as fast as it came, and he let out a little gasp when he noticed Roman’s unconscious form.

“I don’t think he’ll be waking up for a couple of minutes, at least. It appears we woke up based on how close we were to the initial blast.” Logan offered, his eyes darting back to Virgil every so often, who was also watching Roman with concern.

“What happened?” Patton asked, distressed, and Thomas could have laughed.

“That’s what I’ve been fucking asking!” He burst out, earning a startled expression from Patton.

“Language.”

“That is the least of our problems, Patton! You all knocked out and you aren’t you and you’re still in my living room and no one is telling me what’s going on so take your language and shove it. ” He snapped, and his sides reeled back in shock. He felt a little hysterical, he might laugh anyway. It was either that or scream, because one of them was climbing up his throat.

“We don’t know what is going on, any more than you do,” Logan said.

“But, you- you look!”

“This is how we appear in the Mind Space. When you manifested us for the first time you did so with an image in your mind, so that’s how we appeared.” Virgil explained carefully, looking wary after Thomas’s outburst. “In fact, we look like the short’s characters you imagined us as, so while some features you seemed aware we had, like glasses, the rest of it wasn’t originally us.”

What? “So I decided your faces and clothes and personalities, and forced it on you?”

“Not quite. Admittedly, we dressed very similarly before manifestation, and our personalities have been ours since we started existing. You’ve always been aware of those things, just like you’ve always known our functions and of our existence.” Logan corrected.

Patton piped up, though he wasn’t meeting Thomas’s eyes. “It’s just part of being a manifester, kiddo. Well, we assume so, there isn’t exactly a guidebook on it.”

He suddenly felt bad about his outburst, the metaphorical wind leaving his metaphorical sails. “I’m sorry, Patton, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. At any of you.”

“It’s fine! We’re all freaking out, I can understand your reaction.” He was warmer this time, and Thomas sighed.

Roman let out a dramatic groan and made to sit up against the TV stand, body swaying unsteadily as he adjusted to being conscious. These eyes were familiar and comforting, even squinting suspiciously at him. “You aren’t supposed to be here.”

Patton tapped the ground to get his attention and quietly started filling him in on what little had happened, while Logan started looking around the living room.

“Earlier, you said we were still in your living room,” Virgil commented, watching Logan. He nodded, and Logan mirrored it.

“He’s right, this isn’t our living room. The pictures are wrong, and things are displaced. Like, look, your blankets are not on the couch, and my book and our tea are missing from the table.” He pointed out, and the other three glanced around.

“We didn’t sink out.” Patton devastated.

“And we’re in our real forms, which shouldn’t just happen out of the Mind Space,” Virgil added, grave.

“Something is very wrong.” Roman finished.

“Nothing would be wrong if you hadn’t worn a necklace from the Dragon Witch.” Logan pointed out, edgy. Roman looked a mix between guilty, stricken, and offended, and it twisted his face into something that could have been funny outside of the circumstances. Thomas still wanted to laugh, but that might be the shock setting in. Was this shock? He thought for a second and decided it didn’t really matter. But maybe he should get a blanket?

As the sides began some tense arguing, he spotted his phone lying where he dropped it in his panic attack and realized what would help even more than a blanket. He grabbed it and opened up the call feature. (When was the last time he did that, honestly?)

“It was a gift given of good will, I had to wear it! How could I have known she would do this?”

“Maybe because she was the Dragon Witch ?!”

“Listen, just because she’s the only female in the Mind Space doesn’t mean she has to be the villain!”

“No, she’s the villain because she’s evil! ” Virgil argued.

“He has a point though. Why is the only woman in our realm a villain?” Patton offered, hesitant.

“Roman created her. And he accepted the necklace that got us into this mess!”

“Are you saying this is my fault, Virgil?”

“I’m not not saying that.”

“Virgil!”

“What, Patton? I’m not wrong.”

“But you shouldn’t say it..”

“Patton!”

Thomas hung up and clapped to get their attention. They went quiet once more. “Joan is on their way. Maybe they’ll have some ideas on what’s going on.” And they can tell me I’m not going crazy, he thought, but maybe that was preferable to this situation.

For the first time in his memory, they all lapsed into uncomfortable silence, Virgil tossing his hood over his head and withdrawing into himself while Patton wrung his hands, Roman sulked, and Logan fumed. He had never seen them like this, never known them to be this upset, especially with each other. Things have gotten tense, people have gotten upset or argued, but this disconnect? It was new and somewhat frightening. Minutes passed like snails, slow and dragging, leaving a film behind. Maybe that was the shock.

Finally, a knock on the door drew them out of their heads, and Thomas got up to let them in. They were in their pajamas, and it was only then he thought to check the time. Midnight.

“I’m sorry for dragging you out this late.” He said automatically, but Joan waved him off.

“It’s clearly important, and what are best friends for if not traveling across town at midnight when something important happens?” Joan joked, but Thomas could only give him a weak smile. “You said something happened with the sides?”

He gestured them in, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not good. I was just chatting with them after I got home, everything was normal, and then they couldn’t sink out.”

“They couldn’t leave?”

He shook his head, hovering by the door and speaking quietly. No point in causing the arguing to start back up before it was necessary. “Roman came in wearing this necklace the Dragon Witch gave him-”

“The Dragon Witch?”

“Apparently they made up recently. Today, I think, the others didn’t seem to know about it. Anyway, they figured that was what was preventing them from leaving so Roman took it off. But it let out this bright light, completely blinded us. I heard them all fall and when I could see again they were unconscious and in their real forms.” At their look he tried to explain, feeling jittery and uncomfortable. That was the panic. Shock? “They look different in the Mind Space, they said. They’ve never looked like this outside of it, apparently, they actively control the change. They still can’t sink out, and they keep arguing..”

Joan placed a hand on his arm, seeing him start to panic (had he ever stopped, though?) and Thomas lent into the steadying touch. He smiled at them, thankful. Finally, they moved into the living room, where the sides were waiting. If their new appearances startled them, they didn’t react.

“So you guys are stuck.”

“Understatement of the year,” Virgil grumbled, and Thomas gave him a disapproving look.

“Don’t be mean to Joan. They are just trying to help.”

“Sorry.” He looked guilty, but Joan waved him off.

“Everyone is upset and tense, I understand. But arguing isn’t going to help anything so can we leave that for when this really bad thing isn’t happening?”

They all nodded, and Joan clapped their hands. “Alright. So, once again, you’re stuck. You’ve all attempted to sink out after you woke I’m assuming?”

“Yeah. Before I felt a barrier, almost. I didn’t notice it at first but looking back it was definitely there. But now…now I don’t feel anything at all.” Patton answered, looking down at where his hands were fidgeting in his lap.

“It’s like the Mind Space is just gone.” Virgil agreed. Logan messed with his glasses again, looking agitated.

“But that’s not possible, unless Thomas had something severe happen to his brain or…he wasn’t breathing anymore. Clearly, neither of those things have happened.”

“Yeah I haven’t bonked my head recently, and I’m still kicking. I think?”

“You are,” Joan assured him, seeing the distress in his eyes. “So that means you’ve all lost your connection with the Mind Space, most likely. Can you still conjure things, or access any of your Mind powers?”

They all waved their hands around to no avail, looking crazy. Frustration was clear to read in all of their expressions. Joan grimaced.

“And my shadows are gone,” Virgil said, rubbing his thumb under his eye. “I’ve always had them, I don’t..”

“So, no powers, no shadows, no connection to the Mind.” Joan ticked off. “Forced appearances, as well. Thomas,”

He looked up. “Yeah?”

“You once mentioned you could feel the connections to them, like strings tying you together. Are those still there?”

Oh. He reached deep into his chest, where the strings he had used to call Virgil had always lied. There was just empty. He couldn’t recall ever feeling this empty. The tightness in his throat returned, and his face fell. A sob burst from his lips. “No. No, they aren’t there anymore. I can’t feel them, I can’t feel you guys.” Tears welled up in his eyes but he didn’t care, struck by the realization. “It’s all empty. I thought that was shock, but..”

Joan looked upset, and he distantly felt bad about bringing them into this, but now he was crying and he couldn’t stop. He was reeled into an embrace, and he went willingly.

“It might be shock, from having the connection broken,” Joan admitted, before looking over his head. “Do you guys still feel..”

It was clear from how they trailed off that the answer was no. They couldn’t feel Thomas anymore, and that wrung another shaking sob from him. It took him a few minutes to gather composure, but eventually, he straightened from the awkward hunched position he had had to make, making a small wince at the wet spot on Joan’s chest. A glance at the other sides showed that he wasn’t the only one crying though. He wiped his eyes.

“So, you have no connection to the Mind, or Thomas. But you’re still corporeal, I can see and hear you. Maybe….you’ve become real people. Somehow.”

Oh. He had been so wrapped up in what had happened, he never stopped to think about what it meant. The others looked just as gobsmacked.

“That’s impossible, though,” Logan whispered, but it was obvious to himself.

“Let’s test it. Have any of you moved from your spots?”

“I’m just so used to not being able it didn’t even occur to me,” Virgil admitted, getting to his feet. He swayed a bit, but didn’t fall. The rest rose as well. Patton took an unsteady step forward, likely stiff from hours sitting, and when he didn’t hit a barrier he took another. Virgil climbed down the stairs to meet him in the middle, and Roman stepped forward too. Patton’s eyes brightened slightly, and he reached for Roman.

“I wonder…” He grabbed Roman’s arm and pulled him into a hug. Roman gasped, eyes going wide, and when Patton pulled back he gave Roman a wobbly smile, face brighter.

“You felt it, right?” He asked, before gesturing Virgil to come closer and pulling him into a hug as well. Virgil let out the same surprised gasp and gripped Patton tight.

“Everything feels like it’s dialed up to, like, 15. Lo, come feel this!” He held out a hand to Logan, who placed his own on top and wove their fingers together. His eyes widened. Patton released Virgil and moved hesitantly in front of Joan.

“May I?” They nodded and suddenly Joan had an armful of Patton, who was beaming like it was Christmas.

“I can touch you,” Joan exclaimed, looking shocked. While they had always been able to see the sides, they had never been able to touch them before. Their hand had always gone right through them, like ghosts.

Thomas looked around his living room and felt a stone in his gut. He had four freshly human sides before him. Four human, terrified, grown adult men who had never lived a day in the real world.

“Is this permanent, do you think?” He asked.

“I think, Logan said haltingly, unsure, “ That we have to assume it is. Go into this with a ‘worst-case scenario’ mindset.”

Four men who didn’t legally exist, permanently in reality. They were in his care now, and that dormant panic made itself known once more. He couldn’t take care of them. He didn’t have the space, let alone the funds. And again, they didn’t legally exist. And how was he going to explain this? Only Joan and Talyn knew he was a manifester!

He caught Virgil’s eye and could tell he was thinking the same thing, saw him work himself into a similar panic.

“How can we live? We don’t exist in the eyes of the government, we have no papers! And without papers, we can’t get jobs! Where will we live? What will we do?” Virgil echoed his earlier thoughts, and Patton’s face fell. Roman was still quiet, arms wrapped around himself and staring at the ground. Logan looked deep in thought, lips moving silently. The tension in the room was back, and suddenly Thomas felt exhausted down to his bones. He just wanted to sleep, and let everything disappear. Just for a little while.

Joan seemed to pick up on this, and as frazzled as they now looked, standing in the center of Thomas’s living room in their pajamas at nearly 1 am, they once again smiled. “It’s late. Let’s order a pizza, I’m sure we’re all hungry, and then call it a night. We aren’t going to get anywhere tonight. Figure it out tomorrow.”

They all sagged, and while Joan quietly ordered they all moved to sit. The sides collapsed, leaning against each other, on one part of the coach while Joan and Thomas sat on the smaller side. He absently thought how lucky he was his couch was too big, but mostly he thought about how comfortable it was, and once again how much he wanted to sleep. There was quiet while they waited for food, but it was born out of exhaustion instead of anger.

Once they started to eat, however, some energy managed to fill them again, and quiet chatter started up. Roman mentioned quietly to Patton how cool it was to have a full sense of taste, while Joan struck up a conversation with Virgil and Logan on living in the Mind Space. He listened to them talk about the bookcase filled with books Thomas has read, about their rooms and the emotions connected, but only when Thomas was with them or they were feeling heightened. Roman chimed in with talk about his Realm filled with creativity and stories, while Patton mentioned the dog they had conjured and kept for a couple of weeks.

By the time the food was gone Thomas was nodding off, but he managed to get up and gather four sets of pajamas, mismatched and some grabbed simply because he didn’t know what would fit them. Like Virgil, who seemed too small for his pants and instead got a pair of boxers he bought a size too small, and Patton who he had to dig out one of his slightly larger shirts for. He wandered back to the living room on autopilot and took them all up to the spare bedroom.

They took the clothes from him and Patton grabbed a bunch of spare blankets, setting up two beds on the floor. They looked as out of it as him, and the chorus of “Goodnight, Thomas”’s were more mumbles than speech. He closed the door behind him and went back down to Joan, who was dozing on the couch.

“Thank you for coming over.” He said softly, “And thank you even more for being so helpful. I couldn’t have made it through tonight without you, and I’ll never be able to express how much it meant to me.”

“Everything is going to be alright, Thomas.” Joan insisted, and he smiled.

“Yeah, it probably will. But would you do me a favor and spend the night, so I know it’s not all some crazy dream tomorrow when I wake up?”

They took the hand he offered and pulled themselves up, giving him a teasing grin.

“What, you thought I was going to leave? It’s nearly 2 am, you owe me a place to sleep, dude.”

They headed sluggishly to bed, and everything else was tomorrow’s Thomas’s problem.

(tagging @strickenwithclairvoyance because they told me to, and they inspired me. Hope you like it! Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters! (Also bold of you to assume there won’t be Deceit because he wasn’t ejected.))

#analogical #royality #fanfic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides #ts sanders sides #ts virgil #ts roman #ts logan #ts patton

[chocoluckchipz]

Dance with Me, Chaton - 5

Read it on A03, WattPad, FF.net

Written for @ladynoirjuly2019

< Previous

5. Lost

If by the end of day one Adrien was pretty sure that Kagami was Ladybug, then by the end of day two, he was almost convinced. She was a force to be reckoned with. Her colleagues admired her. Those who slacked at their job feared her. Adrien felt he had a long way to go to even think about reaching Kagami’s level of dedication and skill. Perfect description of his Ladybug. The only thing left was to match what little details she let slip online to the real person: Ladybug could draw well enough to agree to edit Gabriel’s sketches, and one of her best friends was a dance instructor. Neither one Adrien could confirm for Kagami yet. He didn't despair, though. With time he would succeed.

Chat Noir: I bet your day today was just as lovely as you are, my Lady.

Ladybug: LOL And what would you know about my beauty, Chat? For all you know, I can be that old, bearded dude from the accounting department.

Chat Noir: Le Gasp! My Lady, beards are sexy. I’ve been considering getting one myself.

Ladybug: Well-looked after and trimmed beards are sexy. The guy from the accounting department doesn’t know the meaning of either.

Chat Noir: Then you cannot be him. Even your words are fashionable, my Lady. I bet your beauty knows no bounds, and men drop by your feet with confessions of love on a daily basis.

Ladybug: And I bet you are a local Casanova whose sweet tongue and, possibly, easy on the eyes looks earned him a girl or two on his arms at any given time.

Chat Noir: You mocking me, aren’t you?

Ladybug: I’m making assumptions based on how you talk. Just like you do. What? I’m wrong?

Chat Noir: Yes. Severely. I’ve never been even kissed. Or dated. Or in love. Been too busy for that.

Ladybug: Accept my condolences.

Chat Noir: You’re still mocking me.

Ladybug: Not at all. I really am sorry. It must feel awful to have never fallen in love.

Chat Noir: Have you ever been in love?

Ladybug: Yes. But that’s all I’m telling you.

Chat Noir: Then maybe instead you can finally tell me how did your day go?

Ladybug: it was lovely. Thank you for asking. Yours?

Chat Noir: Pretty well. How is your baby? Taught him something new today?

Ladybug: XD Her and yes. She’s a quick learner.

Adrien frowned. Either he’s on the wrong track or Ladybug was trying to throw him off her trail. Which was a more plausible explanation because from all the conversations they’ve had so far, keeping her identity a secret was Ladybug’s top priority and she’d already let quite a lot slip. He wouldn’t put it past her at this point to throw him a few fake facts to prevent any possible reveals.

Ladybug: So, about our mission. I thought about it and I think that reworking designs and anonymously surveying Gabriel’s design department only should be the way to go. We won’t be leaking anything outside of the company since our designers had seen all the designs already at some stage. And we’ll show M Agreste that there are more people than just us who think his choices are ridiculous. This is the only way I can think of how to do this without risking losing our jobs.

Chat Noir: I like your plan, my Lady. So, all we need now are the actual designs?

Ladybug: Yeah. And there is no way I can get them.

Chat Noir: Leaving the dirty work to the keeper of misfortune?

Ladybug: You said you’re working in the Hawkmoth’s proximity, meaning, of the two of us, you have a higher chance of getting those files. But we can always forget it. I don’t want you to risk too much, and it’s not like we have to do anything in the first place. If Hawkmoth wants to get ridiculed, who are we to stop him?

Chat Noir: The warriors of truth and light who don’t want the company we love to suffer?

Ladybug: LOL Tbh, only if I’m not losing my job over it.

Chat Noir: Well, I don’t care if I lose mine. Been thinking of quitting actually, so I’ll get you the files. Do you want me to do the survey also? Let's get you involved as little as possible so you're not risking your job. Alright?

Ladybug: Only if you insist.

Chat Noir: I do.

Ladybug: Thank you, Chaton. I appreciate that.

Chat Noir: :3 I like your choice of a nickname for mew.

Ladybug: LOL Well since you’ve been quick to give me one, why can't I do the same?

Chat Noir: Fair enough.

The next hour, they spent chatting about anything and everything in between. By the end of the conversation, Adrien couldn't help but wishfully grin at the screen. This girl was amazing. Witty, funny, smart, confident and creative, she even designed and texted him their secret squad logo: a black kitten, looking at a tiny ladybug on his nose. It was cute. Adrien saved it as his phone background. Risky, but they were slowly becoming friends and with her changed opinion of Adrien, hiding his identity wasn’t such a priority for Adrien anymore.

The next day, however, brought some surprises. More like confused stupor, because the last thing Adrien had expected from his sweet Ladybug was to cold-heartedly fire some poor soul for making a simple mistake.

“I'm sorry you had to witness that,” Kagami apologized to Adrien after the fired man escaped. “Take it as an example that unless you keep them in line, nothing will get done right. People have forgotten what responsibilities and respecting your superiors mean, so I have to remind them from time to time.”

Adrien hummed under his breath, leaning on a windowsill. His father’s philosophy was also to rule with fear, but it was his mother who showed him that honesty, kindness, support and hard work went much further in earning people’s respect and inspiring them to work with you. It forged connections impossible to break. It bore loyalty and success. It was the way Adrien wanted to go. His chest tightened. He missed her dearly and was so happy that, at least online, Ladybug was so much like his mom. He'd hate to think that in real life, the girl he was smitten with upheld his father's way of thinking. Rather disappointing.  

“Would you like to grab lunch together?” Kagami intruded into his thoughts. “I’m almost done, and since today’s the last day you’ll be shadowing me, I thought we could share lunch?”

Adrien perked up. Lunch sounded like a good idea to ask more personal questions. More relaxed atmosphere and no pressure of a workplace. He needed answers and lunch sounded like the perfect place to get them.

“Absolutely,” he smiled. “I’d love nothing more.”

An hour later, they’d found a nice cafe and settled on the second floor. Conversation flowed almost effortlessly and soon Adrien braved a question lingering at the back of his mind. “Do you enjoy working at Gabriel, Kagami?”

"I do," she said. "I like the direction your father is heading, and his work ethic is one of the best in the industry."

Adrien quirked an eyebrow. The online Ladybug had a different idea. At least about the new collection. Maybe he needed to be more specific?

“What about his creative direction? The newest line that is about to be released. What do you think about it?”

“Hard to say.” Kagami shrugged. “I haven't really seen much of it since my work has nothing to do with designing or making the clothes.”

“Aren't you allowed access to unreleased items to create the advertisement?”

"Very limited. Usually, your father would send me pictures of what he'd like to be featured."

“I see,” Adrien sighed, resting his chin on his propped-up hand. “Well, I saw his latest line, and there were some questionable choices made. Sequins in formal wear, for example.”

Kagami didn't react much.

"I trust M Agreste to make it work." She shrugged. "His designs had made him into the fashion icon he is today, and that didn't happen because he was always careful and held back. Risks are inevitable if you want to take the top. That's what he's doing if you ask me."

Adrien leaned back into his chair. Kagami was either a fantastic actress or she wasn't the Ladybug he sought. His phone chimed.

Ladybug: I know we agreed not to chat during the day, but I need a third opinion. Help.

His breathing heavy, Adrien glanced at Kagami, eating her salad. There was no way she could’ve sent him this message. Her cell phone was still in her bag.

“Would you excuse me for a moment?” Adrien asked, standing up.

Kagami nodded.

Adrien walked behind a corner, stopping in a place he could still see Kagami.

Chat Noir: I’m at your service, my Lady.

Ladybug: Thank you! Tell me, what’s the best dessert ever: eclairs or macarons?

Chat Noir: Can I say croissants?

Ladybug: >:( Those aren't dessert. Choose from the two I’ve sent you.

Chat Noir: Well, then macarons.

Ladybug: YES! Thank you!

Chat Noir: Do I get to know what this was all about?

Ladybug: LOL Okay. You deserved that much.

Ladybug: Don't laugh, but my friend and I are at the cafe and we were choosing a dessert and kind of started to argue which one was the best. Since we couldn't come to a conclusion we’ve decided to ask a complete stranger for a third opinion. I just won. Thank you, Chaton.

Chat Noir: A complete stranger, huh?

Ladybug: I can feel your pout through the screen, Chaton. Don’t be silly. You know what I mean. Btw, my friend says Hi.

Chat Noir: Hi to her too.

Ladybug: Him. Gtg now. Ttyl. Thank you again.

Him. His chest tightened. Someone was spending their lunch now with that amazing woman. Someone was having fun arguments with her. Someone who wasn't him because Kagami hadn't even looked at her cell phone this whole time. She wasn't his Ladybug. He wasn't her Chat Noir. Back to the square one. Match one lost.

Surprisingly, he felt relieved.

_______________________________________________________________________

Next >

#miraculous ladybug #ladynoir july #ladynoirjuly2019 #secret penpal au #searching for Ladybug

[francesfromdc]

My Transgendered Lifestyle -- Read My Blog!

Resolve right now to explore roads you haven't previously traveled. 😊 You might be pleasantly surprised and you might discover some new facets about yourself that you didn't know existed! And most of all, have fun and enjoy  starting with.... Reading my Tumblr Blog!

If you like compassion, tenderness, sensitivity--traditionally female virtues, then maybe the right guy for you is one whose feminine, creative, and artistic side is not locked up and concealed under a macho cover. Unconventional? Yes. Atypical? Extraordinary? Absolutely. But the type of girl or guy I'm looking for is, among many other things, unconventional, atypical, and extraordinary. I hope you’ll take the time to read my entire profile, which I admit is much longer than most. The seemingly endless commentary 😊 will give you more insight regarding my not so normal but very interesting, fun and low stress life. Many people who did not wish to express an interest in me have written me simply to say that they enjoyed reading my profile.

I'm a lover of fashion and arts, with a lifelong passion for cherishing, honoring, and embracing all aspects of feminine beauty. My favorite creative outlet is cross dressing and gender bending. I look at this as an art form and take it very seriously. I try to create a very authentic, classy and often glam look once or twice a month that's not over the top like the drag queens (not that there's anything wrong with being an over the top drag queen! 😊 I've impersonated Marilyn Monroe for several Halloweens and a few parties here and there, and I must say that it's about the most fun I've ever had. Other celebrity impersonations I've done were Audrey Hepburn, Madonna, Paris Hilton, Bettie Page, Natalie Portman as the Black Swan, Daryl Hannah as the evil nurse from Kill Bill, and Elsa the Ice Queen from "Frozen".

I'm searching for fun people who are creative, bold, confident and very special  who would appreciate and embrace the exciting and creative world of fashion, beauty, fitness, performing arts, role play, cosplay, pinup fashion, gender bending, and even (mild -- nothing hard core--I' m a sub)- S&M / B&D.

LGBTQBDSM -- If I'm looking for people who will accept me as I am, I certainly would would accept her lifestyle choices. Not many women would embrace this lifestyle--I realize this-- but I'm confident that there are some and within that group, I'm confident that there is one woman who's life I will enrich, and vice versa. I know she exists.   My ultimate goal is establishing a long-term, romance-filled, caring and life sharing relationship, keeping in mind that marriage and serious relationships involve work, and I'm ready and willing to expend the effort and receive the rich personal rewards and fulfillment that love and caring brings.

Although my unorthodox lifestyle is not always easy, it's never boring and I feel very fortunate to have the desire and physical attributes to honor and cherish women and femininity in a realistic, creative, tasteful, respectful, loving and non-intrusive manner. It's a part of me that has always existed. Prior attempts to change and conform to a more traditional lifestyle have not worked for me, and as such, I have fully accepted and truly enjoy my femme side which I now know will always be a part of me. I get a lot of questions like "Are you in femme mode 24/7?" So I'll answer that question early in the profile and say, no my "everyday look" is male. (But I often playfully note the difference between me in male mode and me in femme mode as "drab vs. fab" 😊.

As a male, I'm often mistaken for a much younger person, (and occasionally mistaken for a girl--woo hoo!!) which in my opinion, is due to my dedication to health and exercise, my slender body and lack of facial hair, creative and fun choices in fashion, and a youthful fun, and positive outlook on life. No boring baggy jeans "dockers" or Donald Trump Navy Blue Suit/ (ridiculously long) Red Tie for me, thank you!

I have lots of goals which can be pursued in male or femme modes, including... ...finding a (romantic or platonic) partner for Rollerblading and ice skating at the outdoor rinks--(a great exercise and AN ABSOLUTE MUST for the body, mood, and mental clarity!) my favorite ice rink is the Sculpture Garden at 7th & Constitution Ave. I've been skating the outdoor rinks heavily since 2016.

During the warmer months (April - November) I bump up the rollerblading and cut back on the ice skating, going to the indoor rink at Mount Vernon Recreation center or the Medstar (formerly known as Kettler) Iceplex in Ballston once or twice during the summer if that. I always look forward to the beautiful spring and summer days on my rollerblades with a return to the outdoor ice rinks in November. The beginning of spring -- with the cherry blossoms -- the mild air and the longer days, is my favorite time of year. I look at it as a reward for enduring the winter months!

I also would like to explore and cultivate more activities such as:

★First and foremost★ ---Vacations--(Key West, Italy, and Hawaii are just a few of the places on my list). I have not traveled for pleasure much, but doing more of this is one of my top goals. Over the years, I've traveled for business, but I usually found those trips to be boring. I'd welcome the opportunity to meet someone who is interested in vacationing more and would like a fun vacation partner, even if it's just on a platonic level. In July, 2016 I met up with a group of rollerbladers in Copenhagen for three days of Denmark city and rural skating -- my first visit to Denmark! I re-joined that group for four days in Seville (Spain) in the first week of October, 2017. What a lovely city and a very rewarding (although exhausting!) experience! And for 2018 --in early September I joined them for the third time in three years: ✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*° PARIS!´✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*° c'était merveilleux!!! August 4, 2019 update: In mid July, I spent a lovely week in Berlin with this wonderful group -- many friends and familiar faces, as well as some new friends! I'm looking forward to my next European trip -- probably during the summer or fall of 2020.

★ Ballroom dancing--I'm a complete novice, but I think it would be fun to try, and perhaps occasionally (with the right partner) experimenting with reversing the roles, with the girl -- the genetic girl that is --wearing a men's suit and leading! I also have three relatively new and strong dance passions: (1) "The Carolina Shag"  (2) Tap Dancing, and (3) Popping. When done with precision, The Shag is a joy to watch and I'm sure it's even more fun to perform. Watch these two Shaggers and you'll probably catch the Shag Fever too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l5pczCZw04

If you're a good dance instructor, I'd certainly be willing to pay you for lessons -- even if you're not interested in forming any type of personal relationship.

★ Movies and theater (here in the DC area, but also day and/or overnight trips to New York). I think this is an aesthetically stimulating activity, yet most of us seem to only do this sort of thing every now and then.

★ Al fresco dining -- beautiful weather and people watching in all parts of DC, Bethesda, Fells Point, Inner Harbor and many others. Warm summer nights enjoying dinner, the energy and enthusiasm at the Georgetown waterfront (Washington Harbor is as good as it gets! And after dinner, a leisurely stroll along the waterfront or through some of the more vibrant sections of town to me, is very romantic. And the brand new "Wharf" on the SW DC waterfront has a lot of promise! I often like to do something very different and get really dressed up (sometimes femme, sometimes homme) and enjoy a nice restaurant during the week when everyone else seems to be in "business attire" or casual mode.

★ Home improvement projects. I'm AWFUL at doing these things myself, but I'm confident that these skills can be learned and I think I'd get a lot more satisfaction from doing some projects myself, such as painting, trim/molding replacement and addition, tile installation. I think it would be interesting to find a woman who has these skills, and also a bit ironic me to learn from her while I give her advice about makeup and clothes/accessories!

A topic related to home improvement is automobile repair and maintenance. I own a wonderful older BMW, but things break and wear out. If you're good at automobile repair/maintenance, I'm always looking for someone who enjoys working on older cars. Many of the shops in my area take the easy way out and say, "we'd rather not work on a car this old -- too much trouble and limited parts availability".

★ I'd like to do something to help disadvantaged children or others who aren't as fortunate as myself. I'm open to any suggestions you may have, and if this is something you're involved in, I'd certainly be interested in joining you in doing some good things for others.

★ Horseback riding. I've been on and around horses about a dozen times over the years, which has given me only basic knowledge and skills. I'd like to get serious about it, making riding a regular part of my life. I know that owning a horse is A LOT of work, so if you own a horse, I would gladly help out with the chores.

★ I love water skiing, jet skiing, and surfing. My first time on water skis was when I was 14 years old, and after about one hour of using two skis, I was able to get up on one ski. I haven't been water skiing in many years, but one thing is certain -- I do not want to own a boat! It's just too much work and too many headaches. Many people know the expression, ..."the two happiest days of my life: The day I bought my boat, and the day I SOLD my boat!"... So not having access to a boat means I won't be doing much water skiing! And not living near a beach means that I won't be doing much surfing! So you might be wondering why I even mentioned these activities. I guess it's just something that provides a lot of enjoyment just thinking about it. And I love to watch the surfing documentaries and imagine myself on those 50+ foot waves on Hawaii's North Shore. I guess we all have things that we fantasize about!

I'll be happy to answer ANY questions you may have. I'm single, never married (but there's still hope for me!), no kids, creative, imaginative, and lots of fun. I own a wonderful townhouse in a vibrant location (almost free and clear!), I'm financially secure, and I try to lead a healthy, active, and relatively stress-free life. And if you've read this far and decided that this is just too much for you, well I certainly understand, but I hope what you just read provided a fun and interesting diversion to your day and perhaps gave you a reason to smile or the notion to pass this along to one of your friends who may be more inclined to embrace a multi-faceted, non-traditional relationship.

You are MORE THAN WELCOME to express an interest in becoming a platonic friend or an activity partner! And to suz, sko, sso, and t ...Thanks for dropping in! 😊 All the best to you in your search for your ideal match!

Oh good! You're still reading.😊 My career for the last 20 years has involved doing what I absolutely love. My work doesn't really seem like work to me and that's how I know that it's the right thing for me! I often think to myself, ..."wow, I can't believe I'm getting PAID for doing this!"

I’m especially good at:

★ Making people feel good about themselves. Recently the American Film Institute honored Jane Fonda. When she spoke, one of her comments was particularly thought provoking: "It's better to be interested than interesting". I have long realized that asking questions about others rather than bragging about oneself works best and feels right for me.

★ Reflexology, which I will gladly provide on a regular basis for someone near and dear to me. If you wear heels a lot, you will love the soothing and stress reducing aspects of this wonderful type of massage.

★ Rollerblading and Ice Skating -- I love and thrive on the exercise that these invigorating activities provide. I am thankful that I have an outlet for exercise that doesn't really seem like exercise. Plus no health club dues, golf green fees, or other significant costs associated with many exercise and recreational routines! I think I'd get bored with running or riding the stationary bike, or walking the treadmill. And if I'm bored with it, I would most likely limit the activity or even give it up.

★ Thinking, feeling, and dressing in a youthful, energetic, creative, and fun way. I am enamored with Betsey Johnson -- the 73 year old fashion designer who to me, is the epitome of a youthful, creative, energetic and fun mindset! She is known to do a cartwheel on stage at the end of her fashion shows! Another older person who had tons of energy and refused to fade away was Elaine Stritch, the Broadway actress and singer. There's a wonderful documentary about her called "Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me". At the other end of the spectrum, my next door neighbor for example -- who is just a few years older than me -- usually wears faded and worn shorts, a dingy white t-shirt, black socks and wing tip shoes, and seems to have a constant scowl on his face. Really? Black socks and wing tip shoes with shorts?? If he's going for the "frumpy old man look", he's got it down pat!

★ The Sunday Washington Post crossword puzzle-- I consistently get 95-100% of the answers. I'm always amazed at how I might feel I am totally stumped, but come back the next day to easily get more answers right. I've heard that regular crossword puzzle activity is good for Alzheimer's prevention.

★ I  make awesome Espresso! I've tried them all, but the one I keep going back to is "Cafe Bustello". Oh yes, and did I mention I'm good with makeup and femme fashions?

★ The first thing people notice about me is healthy smooth, radiant and glowing skin which has almost no facial hair.

Movies give me a lot of enjoyment. I have a wide range of interests including TCM, and in particular movies by Alfred Hitchcock, David Lynch, Quentin Tarrantino, Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, and Stanley Kubrick to name a few. I have recently become familiar with the work of a French director Catherine Breillat. Her films have over the years sparked a lot of controversy, mainly due to her blunt and objective handling of sexual themes.

Are there any movies that make you cry every time you see them? The first time I saw "The Kite Runner" I cried. The second time I saw it, I wanted to see if it had the same effect, and yes it did. And even the third time I saw it, I cried. This kind of emotional release is very therapeutic! There have been other movies over the years that have made me cry, but a box of Kleenex is always needed for a viewing of "The Kite Runner". I'd be interested in hearing about any movies that have a similar effect on you.

I can rely on "Cinema Paradiso", the 1990 Oscar winning Italian film, to produce a strong emotional response.

The Oscar nominated 1985 Swedish film, "My Life As a Dog" is also very touching and poignant.

Another example, and another Oscar winner, is "Dances With Wolves". One of the final scenes, in which "Wind In His Hair" shouts down at "Dances With Wolves" from a ridge high above: ...."I am Wind in His Hair! Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that I will always be your friend?"

"Manchester By the Sea" starring Casey Affleck (2017 Oscar Winner for Best Actor). If that movie doesn't move you, I really can't imagine what would!

The ending of "To Sir With Love" -- Sydney Poitier as Mr. Thakeray (aka Sir) accepting his gift from his students: ..."well ... I think I better go and put it away"... Gets to me every time!

And speaking of Sydney Poitier, I recently saw "A Raisin in the Sun" (1961) in its entirety. I've seen bits and pieces, but oddly-- had not seen the whole movie. I'm amazed that Sydney wasn't nominated for an Oscar in this role. And I now am very eager to see the play!

In 2018, I saw two Japanese movies on a flight that brought me to tears. Perhaps it was the travel exhaustion that brought it on, but there I was, sitting quietly with a river of tears flowing on my face. The first one was called, "The Lies She Loved", and the second one which REALLY got to me, was called "Color Me True".

Over thirty years ago, I saw a movie directed by Steven Spielberg called "Empire of the Sun" which starred a 13 year old unknown actor named Christian Bale.  Of course, most of us movie lovers know that CB is now a mega star. I was fortunate enough to see it again recently, now with high definition and surround sound!  The story is set in the early 1940's.  A privileged English boy (Bale) is living in Shanghai when the Japanese invade and force all foreigners into prison camps.  I was surprised to see that the reviews -- even the great Roger Ebert, gave this film a lukewarm review.  But I loved it, and cried a river of tears!

I occasionally enjoy movies that are very poorly written, directed and acted. You know, movies that are so bad they are good! Many of us know about Ed Wood -- probably the most famous of the bad movie directors-- "the worst of the worst!" I recently discovered a director named Bert I. Gordon who specialized in really bad sci-fi movies. What makes these movies even funnier is the fact that they were intended to be serious drama. The special effects were hilarious and very low budget, the acting was stiff, and the plots lacked any kind of structure and logic. Gordon's "Attack of the Puppet People" (1958) is delightfully bad! In this movie, a mad scientist/doll maker shrinks people so they can be his puppets!¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫And... "Queen of Outer Space" (1958) starring Zsa Zsa Gabor. No additional explanation is necessary for this one! And extremely bad movies aren't limited to the 50's.

After recently seeing "The Disaster Artist" (2017), it appears that Ed Wood has some serious competition for worst director and worst movie of all time. His name is Tommy Wiseau and his movie from 2003 titled, "The Room" is a perfect example of film making at its worst. You can learn all about this delightfully bad monstrosity by watching The Disaster Artist which is by the way, an excellent movie about the making of an awful movie. Don't miss it!

I prefer film noir and drama over comedy, sci-fi, and rom-com, but I really can't think of a genre that hasn't provided me with some enjoyment. I think I've seen every "Twilight Zone" episode --the original ones with Rod Serling--multiple times. I always enjoy the SciFi Channel's New Year's Day Twilight Zone Marathon! If you have a favorite TZ episode, I'd be interested in hearing about it. Three of my favorites are "What You Need", "Eye of the Beholder", "To Serve Man" (IT'S A COOKBOOK!!! 😊), and "Twenty-Two" ("Room for one more, Honey!)

Musicals: Chicago, Rocky Horror, Hair Spray, The Producers, West Side Story, and Frozen. "The Fabulous Baker Boys", while not really a musical, features one of my favorite and most sensual performances ever: Michelle Pfeiffer singing "Making Whoopee" while lounging on top of Jeff Bridges' piano in a slinky red dress. I know that Jeff Bridges wasn't really playing the piano, but they did such a good job making it look as though he was actually playing. And note how Michelle steps down off the piano to sit next to Jeff -- stepping on a very thin ledge while wearing very high heels. How did she do that?

Everyone knows and loves the dancing of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, including myself. But the often overlooked solo performances from Ginger are amazing. One in particular was from a 1942 movie called "Roxie Hart" which, by the way was the inspiration for the musical, "Chicago". In "Roxie Hart", Ginger does sort of a tap dance going up these metal stairs and she just makes it look so effortless. I also love the quote (it's origin is not exactly clear), ..."Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards and wearing high heels!"

Other vintage female dancers who mesmerize me are Vera Ellen, Cyd Charisse, Debbie Reynolds, Rita Moreno, Leslie Caron, Ann Miller, and Mitzi Gaynor. And probably the most entertaining dance sequence I've ever seen on film (oddly enough performed by a man--go figure!) is Donald O'Connor doing "Make Them Laugh" in the movie, "Singing In the Rain" ====>

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO-FXFfhsEc

The 2011 Oscar winning film, "The Artist" has an amazing dance sequence at the end featuring the ultra charming Berenice Bejo as "Peppy Miller"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nNmU5v8zM

Occasionally I'll see a movie for the first time even though it was made decades ago One such example -- an amazing movie-- is "Reflections in a Golden Eye" (1967). I can't believe I missed seeing it all these years. Well, without giving too much of the plot away, it's set in the late 1940's and centers around an army Major's (Marlon Brando) latent homosexuality. And because it was the 1940's the major's sexuality is revealed only with subtle clues. His wife is played by one of the greatest actresses that ever lived -- Elizabeth Taylor. In one scene, an army Colonel (Brian Keith) comments that the army could have "made a man" out of his effeminate domestic worker and that he would have been a "better person" if he acted "normally". The major (Brando) then comments (in his typical Brando vocal style), and I'm paraphrasing some of it:

"So what you're saying is, that any FULFILLMENT obtained at the EXPENSE OF NORMALCY is wrong, and should NOT be allowed to bring happiness. In short, it is better, because it is MORALLY HONORABLE, for the SQUARE PEG to keep scraping about the round hole rather than to DISCOVER AND USE the unorthodox square that would fit it’ The Colonel replies, Why, you put it exactly right. ‘Don’t you agree with me?’ Brando's character: "No" (I think this is a significant and poignant anti-hate /pro tolerance message, especially for a film made in 1967)

✫I recently saw for the first time, a movie made in 1965 which was an adaption of a play from 1962 called "A Thousand Clowns" starring Jason Robards. His character (Murray) is an eccentric comedy writer who is pressured to conform to society in order to retain custody of his 12 year old nephew.

An example of his eccentricity -- here Murray is leaning out of his window, very early before most people are awake. He yells: “This is your neighbor speaking! I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that something must be done about your garbage cans in the alley here. [raises voice even louder] It is definitely second-rate garbage. Now, by next week I want to see a better class of garbage: more empty champagne bottles and caviar cans! I'm sure you're all behind me on this. So let's snap it up and get on the ball!”

Another great quote from 1,000 Clowns:

“Five months ago I was on the subway on my way to work, was sitting on the express same as every morning looking out the window watching the local stops go by in the dark with an empty head and my arms folded, not feeling great, not feeling rotten, just not feeling. And for a minute I couldn't remember, I didn't know, unless I really concentrated, whether it was a Tuesday or a Thursday or a... for a minute it could have been any day. I gotta know what day it is. I gotta know what's the name of the game and what the rules are without anyone else telling me. You gotta own your own days and name 'em, each one of 'em, every one of 'em, or else the years go right by and none of them belong to you. And that ain't just for weekends, kiddo.”

I am a big fan of anything written by Tennessee Williams... including a recent discovery -- a 1962 film based on Tennessee Williams' play "Period of Adjustment". This gem of a movie starred a very young, sweet, and feminine Jane Fonda! Delightful! I loved the movie before I even knew it was written by T. Williams! My favorite TW plays: Hey, why list them? I love them all!

And I'm starting to have a huge appreciation for the works of Ingmar Bergman. I was recently fascinated by his 1960 film, "The Virgin Spring".

Sergio Leone's "Man With No Name Trilogy" starring Clint Eastwood:

........."A Fistful of Dollars" (1964) ........."For a Few Dollars More" (1965) ........."The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" (1966)

All three released in the U.S. in 1967

The critically acclaimed "The Danish Girl" (2015) had a very strong impact on me.

August 4, 2019 Update: I can't believe I omitted one of the best movies I've ever seen: From 1957, "Twelve Angry Men". 95% of this movie is set in a small, hot jury room with no air conditioning. They are all trying to reach a verdict in a murder trial. A brilliant film with lots of big names in the cast, this movie received a very rare 100% rating on the Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer. It has also been performed on stage, although I haven't seen the play. Hopefully, I'll get to see it one day soon.

Oddly, I had never seen "Gone With the Wind" in it's entirety until July 2019. Many consider this one of the best movies of all time. My opinion: Yes, I liked it but it doesn't make my top ten list.

Nancy Kwan--the beautiful Eurasian actress who made a big splash in the early 1960's with "The World of Suzy Wong" and "Flower Drum Song"-- mesmerized me when I was about 12 years old, and continues to mesmerize me to this day. Oh, the way she wore those beautiful silk Chinese Dresses -- I now know that those dresses are called "cheongsams". So if you are Asian, Asian American, or of any other heritage and you like to wear the cheongsam, please "go to the front of the line"--you will mesmerize me just as Nancy has done for all these years and have me eating out of the palm of your hand 😊. Nancy was exquisite in her performance of "I Enjoy Being a Girl" and I'm sure you will enjoy this wonderful number:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JigBfoDtzY

I have been a regular SNL (Saturday Night Live) viewer since day one (1975). In 1982 I bought my fist VCR (remember VCR's? :-) solely for the purpose of recording SNL. It's hard to believe that a "great deal" on a VCR in those days was $549 -- which is what I paid for a VCR that could only be programmed to record one show. And it had a WIRED remote. Today, if you can even FIND a VCR for sale new, it would cost you around $19.95

Music: I have a large and eclectic collection on my smart-phone. I'd be happy to send you a list of those songs to give you an idea of the music I like to listen to. One thought that seems to come up regularly is how certain bands kind of "Jump the Shark". Bands that were in my opinion, once really good but in an effort to become more mainstream, they lose what once made them stand out.

When I listen to some of the early songs of the band "Chicago" or as they were originally referred to, "The Chicago Transit Authority" circa 1968-71) I can't believe how much better they were when compared to the mid 1970's and beyond Chicago. The later version just got kind of sappy and boring whereas the earlier stuff just had more grit and edge. For example, compare "25 or 6 to Four" and "I'm a Man" (the long versions) to "Saturday In the Park" or "If you Leave Me Now".

Similarly, the Doobie Brothers lost their edge when Michael McDonald came in and, in my opinion ruined them!

Rod Stewart underwent a ridiculous (and sad) transformation when he started singing songs from the 1930's and 1940's. Really? Rod Stewart, the rocker? Singing "It Had to Be You" ??! I don't think Mick Jagger would ever sink this low! Just my humble opinion though. Feel free to disagree!

I'm not a huge fan of "The Grateful Dead" -- I like them I suppose in small doses. But one thing about "The Dead" as their big fans call them, is that they never "sold out" by trying to appeal to the masses and altering their style. I really respect that about this group.

Occasionally I make huge errors in assessing new talent. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but regarding the singers Sheryl Crow and Taylor Swift, I remember when they first started, my thoughts were that they were just a "flash in the pan" and couldn't possibly have any long term success and significance in the music world.

Wow, did I blow the call on those two. They are now very high on my list of singers/songwriters and I couldn't have been more wrong about them.

Conversely, for some newcomers I predict huge things and they end up just being mediocre or their shelf life expires very rapidly. When "Jewel" first arrived on the scene, I fell in love with her work, and yes she did have some early success, but she never became a mega-star.

Fiona Apple was (and continues to be) an extremely talented singer/songwriter and I was infatuated with her from the start, but (maybe by her own choice?), she has stayed out of the limelight and never hit the heights that I predicted for her.

Sports: My interest in sports over the years has fluctuated. There was a time when I wasn't even aware of who was playing in the Super Bowl or World Series. During the past ten years though, I've returned to watching sports and I attribute this entirely to the DVR. Watching sports that are not recorded or delayed is so tedious with all the commercials. and down time. When I record them I watch only what I want to watch, zipping through the commercials and other non essential airtime.

Which sports? Football (college is better than pro!), Baseball (usually just the post season playoffs though), Basketball (March Madness NCAA Tournament only -- I'm slowly warming up to NBA Basketball), Ice Hockey (my interest grows as the Stanley Cup Playoffs start-- and YES!! THE CAPS WON THE 2018 STANLEY CUP FOR THE FIST TIME IN THEIR 44 YEAR EXISTENCE!!), and Horse Racing -- only during May and June when the Triple Crown Races are held. I love women's figure skating--these girls are awesome!

And I WISH we had professional women's fast pitch softball. A few years ago, they tried to form a professional women's' softball league, but it folded, due to lack of support by the public. It's a shame, because these girls are so talented, and in many ways their game takes more skill than professional baseball. And to add insult to injury, women's' softball was discontinued from the Summer Olympics, presumably due to the U.S. Team's domination of the sport. BUT... I understand they're bringing Softball BACK TO THE OLYMPICS!! And I'm sure the U.S. will put a spectacular team together for Tokyo 2020!! Can't wait!

The National Spelling Bee! On ESPN! Yes, spelling is now a televised sport!

And finally, the annual Nathan's annual Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest (although many would not consider competitive eating a sport! 😊) On the 4th of July 2018 once again, Joey Chestnut ruled! He ate 74 HDB (that's hot dog and bun for all you competitive eating neophytes) in ten minutes to beat his previous record of 72 and win the 2018 contest easily---leaving his 17 competitors in a cloud of dust!

I often think about...

Personal Goals such as:

★Traveling and vacationing more, either with that special someone or with one or more platonic friends. I've taken several vacations by myself and and have come to realize that vacationing alone is not for me.

★Relocating to a warmer climate after nearly 30 years in DC. The winter of 2014-15) was particularly harsh and made me give the idea of relocating a lot more thought. The winter of 2015-16 has been unusually warm, but as I write this update (January 23,. 2016) there is about 15 inches of snow on the ground with a good chance of about 10 more inches by the day's end. And as I write THIS update (July 14, 2016), we're expecting temperatures in the mid 90's with a heat index of 104. Where would I want to move? Maybe MIAMI, Florida (SoFi --South of 5th South Beach), KEY WEST, NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana, HILTON HEAD South Carolina, SAN ANTONIO; AUSTIN, Texas, PHOENIX, Arizona, SAN DIEGO; LOS ANGELES /SANTA MONICA, California, or HONOLULU, Hawaii to name a few. I'd like to make some good friends from these cities and through them, get to know what it would be like to live there. I would welcome the opportunity to meet someone who may not be interested in me romantically, but has a similar desire to relocate to a warmer climate. Kind of a platonic partnership with the goal of starting a new, exciting and adventuresome chapter in life, in another part of the country. I think a move like this is much less traumatic, less anxiety inducing, and more fun if there are two of us facing similar challenges -- and there will no doubt be challenges! I'd even consider a move to another country. At this stage in my life, now is not the time to be skittish!

★Enhancing my circle of friends and acquaintances.

★Enriching my life and that of others' through volunteering and more acts of kindness.

★Rollerblading and ice skating. Although I'm much more comfortable and proficient on hockey skates, I have a fascination with "Ice Dancing" and have always fantasized about gliding effortlessly across the ice with a beautiful female skater. In ice dancing and ballroom dancing, "the man is the frame, and the woman is the picture"... meaning that it's the man's job to showcase the beauty and elegance of the woman. I realize that this ice dancing notion will probably will remain just a fantasy, but I do have figure skates and would love to sharpen them up and partner with a woman who also likes ice dancing, even if it is at the most basic level.

★ I also want to swim with dolphins, and as a result of *finally* seeing "Lawrence of Arabia" in it's entirety, I'd like to ride a camel! Also, I can't imagine life being complete without at least once seeing the live Mermaid show at Weeki Wachee Springs, FL😊 ===>

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZymMONi1XA

★Being more active in striking up conversations with people I encounter. I've found that people in the DC area are generally hesitant or uninterested in chatting with someone they don't know, or someone that they perceive to have no value in the furtherance of their professional or personal goals. As such, I have over the years and for the most part, avoided initiating conversations with people I don't know. I've decided to be more outgoing in this area, recognizing that only a few will respond favorably, and not worrying about the "rejections". I also think about...

★I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to realize this, but relationships involve: A LOT OF WORK (better to realize this late than never!). There are rich rewards, but unless one is willing to (a) admit that there's hard work involved, and (b) actually do the work when it becomes necessary, the relationship is likely to fail. I think one of the main reasons I've remained single for so long is that I had this fantasy notion that successful relationships were all wine and roses, and when things went wrong, I came to the conclusion that it just wasn't working and decided to end it. How twisted is that logic?! The bliss of a new relationship fades pretty quickly, and that's when working at the relationship comes into play. Think of a garden or lawn that has not had any special attention -- no watering, no fertilizer, no nothing. It wouldn't be lush and green, nor would it have beautiful, colorful flowers. Take that same garden or lawn... water it, feed it, weed it, trim it, mow it... and the result is a beautiful sight. ~But it took a lot of work~! If I ever enter another serious relationship, it will be with the clear understanding that the real rewards come with overcoming obstacles and resolving conflict while remaining 100% committed to the relationship. But in keeping with the theme of this profile -- total honesty --after living single for all these years, it will be a hell of an adjustment to live with someone else. Hopefully, patience, love and acceptance will prevail and the gradual adjustment to a new (and exciting!) lifestyle will occur. And I REFUSE to enter a relationship that is without extreme effort or care.

★Have you ever heard of people who are married but live in different cities? That kind of arrangement for some reason intrigues me. The couple has the benefits of marriage but they enjoy freedom and independence when they're not together. And the potential for little squabbles is diminished because they're not constantly together. Obviously, this is not for most people, but given the right couple and the right circumstances it could result in a very diverse and fulfilling lifestyle. Plus it would make the time spent together more special, and they would have the benefit of enjoying two cities on a regular basis. So if you know a couple who has this kind of lifestyle, or if this is something that you think about, I'd love to have a discussion on this subject.

A variation of the "married but live in different cities" could be a partnering with little or no romance or intimacy -- basically roommates, but with a deep caring and commitment to enrich each others' lives. Best friends to give each other emotional support, without the trappings of traditional marriage. Independence and freedom from always having to answer to each other -- i.e. "Where are you going?" "When will you be back?" "Who were you with?" I really don't know how or even if this could work, but my gut feeling tells me that it could indeed work. And although I wouldn't count on this happening, it is entirely possible that the emotional support and caring could actually grow into a love that would be stronger than if it were to have begun in the traditional manner. I would have to give this type of arrangement a lot of thought, but with the right person, it could be a very rewarding and broadening experience.

There is another huge benefit of this arrangement, and I'm wondering why more people don't take advantage of it. It goes something like this: You are comfortable financially like me. You own your home -- a nice home, but nothing extravagant or opulent. Let's say we both own homes worth about $500,000. Being a couple -- either a traditional couple or a non-traditional couple (see previous paragraph) would effectively allow us to live in a home worth $1,000,000. Granted, in today's real estate market a million dollar home to some people would be low end, but to someone who has a history of living in a modest home, that kind of arrangement would allow a couple to live their later years (let's face it, it's coming whether we want it to or not) in a location and style that is a definite step up. I'm thinking Georgetown or Old Town, perhaps with a river view. Maybe this is just fantasy, but I really think it could improve our lives significantly. Again, if you have any thoughts on this, I’d like to hear them.  Even if you think this is an insane idea fraught with problems, which it very well could be.

★ This one, well it's kind of scary and depressing. I think many (over age 50) single people struggle with the anxiety of being old -- really old-- and having no one. I try not to think about this one too much, but the fact remains that being old is difficult even with that special someone. Being old and all alone is frightening. This shouldn't be the only reason for wanting a significant other, but as time goes on, it becomes more important and is definitely something to think about.

January, 2019 update: More and more, I've thought about finding a significant other for the sole purpose of having a support partner for the golden years. Romance and intimacy wouldn't be necessary -- just good friends who care about each other provide comfort and companionship. And although I STILL have not made a Will, I would like to have that special someone to inherit my estate, which is by no means extremely large, but is not a pittance either. I make this comment with the full realization that anyone with ill intentions who has seen an Alfred Hitchcock movie or tv show, may try to form a relationship, get me to name them as beneficiary, and proceed to knock me on the head with a frozen leg of lamb (great episode -- "Lamb to the Slaughter", 1958 --find it on YouTube if you haven't seen it!), thus reaping the financial rewards as a "grieving" widow or significant other. :-) Other cinematic ideas for knocking off a "loved one" -- "Double Indemnity" (1944), "The Postman Always Rings Twice" (1946), "Dial M for Murder" (1954), "Vertigo" (1958) and "A Place in the Sun" (1951). :-) But remember, none of the murderers got away with it! :-)

★I don't know if it's just me or if this happens to a lot of people: The older I get, the more thoughts of occurrences from the past just pop into my head -- completely unexpected and seemingly without any type of trigger. And the unsettling aspect of this is that these thoughts of past events involve me in a situation that I mishandled in some way, and make me respond..."what were you thinking??" Often it's something that I did, but shouldn't have done....something I said that I shouldn't have said... or, something I didn't say but should have, or something I didn't do, but should have. Is this our way of reminding us that we have matured and our stupid and reckless ways of the past are now behind us?

These thoughts always focus on things I'd like to take back and have a "do over" or in the golfing vernacular, a "mulligan". And what's interesting is that I never get random thoughts about things I did well or things that I'm proud of. So I'm asking you... does this happen to you? Or if you're familiar with this type of thing, is it something that all of us (or most of us) experience? I'd be very interested in knowing more about this.

★How I've never really embraced hanging out with the guys. Recently, after a vigorous workout on my blades, I stopped at one of Old Town's riverside parks. I found a vacant picnic table, under a tree, with a cool breeze and a lovely view of the Potomac River, the Wilson Bridge, and the new Capitol Wheel across the river at National Harbor. What could be more relaxing and serene? Well, about five minutes after I settled in, here come four men in their 40's, 50's and maybe 60's... all standing around about to do some, I don't know... male bonding? Guy stuff? And then, not one, not two, not three, but all four.... light up these big fat smelly cigars and my blissful, relaxing scene is ruined. Well, I did get about five minutes sheer joy, but it left me thinking... "would I like to be one of those guys... standing around with their guts protruding over their belts of their khaki pants...smoking cigars? I also thought about their poor wives and/or girlfriends who would have to endure the foul, lingering odor of a cigar. I can't even imagine getting the slightest enjoyment from being part of that group. Of course, this is no great revelation-- I've never gotten warm and fuzzy feelings bonding with guys, and this is just one of the many things that reinforce the notion that I'm very different from most guys.

Hanging out with the girls is more exciting and invigorating, providing better quality, more supportive conversation in an "odor free" location! Well, this musing could go on and on, but the point I want to make (and I'm sure you've figured it out by now if you've read this far!) is that I'm not like most guys.

★Even though I generally speak of being attracted to women, a lot of people ask if I'm gay-- a fair and logical question. I've often wondered if I'm really gay and just refuse to admit this to myself. Then I think, hey, if I'm really gay, wouldn't I have *at least once* tried, or experimented with intimate relations with a man? The answer of course is no, I have not -- because it's something that just doesn't interest me. I think my brain is just hard-wired to be attracted to, surrounded by,  and infatuated by, feminine beauty. I have, over the years had a number of male admirers who have tried to persuade me to be their girlfriend, but it's very clear to me that women offer so much more mental and physical stimulation.

Now, having said all that, I do find it interesting and exciting to have a girls night out -- with one or more genetic girls-- and have interested guys buy us drinks, hit on us, and to be one of the girls talking about how hot this guy or how wonderful the new guy that they're dating is. Women receiving the attention of men, in my opinion, enhances feminine feelings.   I know--I know...this has all the earmarks of a gay mindset, but when it really comes down to being intimate with a man, reality sets in and there is no interest.

★I see guys wearing pink shirts all the time. I also see a lot of pink ties. Apparently, pink shirts and ties are ok for guys, but pink pants? I've got these great American Apparel Riding Pants that are, pink (actually, more of a coral), but wow you wouldn't believe the looks I get. Occasionally, I'll even see looks of disgust while shaking their head as if they're saying no. Often I'll see people just staring at my pants -- in line at the grocery store, at the airport, anywhere. One girl recently, in a kind of mocking tone said, "I like your leggings". And my response was, "why should girls have all the fun?!😊" The more I wear them, the more I'm amused at people's reactions, yet the guy in the pink shirt and pink tie with one or more earrings doesn't even get noticed. By the way, the American Apparel riding pants are the most comfortable pants I have ever worn, and I highly recommend that you give them a try. I have them in black, khaki, grey, safari brown, purple, yellow, navy, and --gasp!-- pink! Just google American Apparel Riding pants. American Apparel discontinued them recently (why I don't know because they were wildly popular!) and I've picked up a few new or lightly used pairs on ebay. AA also makes what they call "Disco Pants"-- super stretchy, and form fitting and so comfortable! Just google "American Apparel Riding Pants" or "American Apparel Disco Pants" and you'll see some wonderful pictures. I think they look great on all women XXS to XL.

Many of my other pants are very skinny, stretchy, and feature fun prints and colors -- very comfortable! I often wonder why "the norm" for guys includes pants that lack any distinctive or interesting characteristics, i.e. boring, dull, and frumpy -- as described in the State Farm Commercial featuring one of the Coneheads (Beldar) explaining to his wife (Prymaat) what khakis are: "khakis : a dull earthly garment covering male extremities". 😊 By the way, who determines what's acceptable fashion and what's not? During Breast Cancer awareness month, it's ok for men to wear pink, especially in the NFL where tough macho guys are wearing pink socks, wristbands, and even shoes. So it's SOMETIMES ok for a man to wear pink. Also, you'll occasionally see some bright and colorful pants on the golf course---there is a company called "Loudmouth Golf" that makes some really cool pants, and they're quite popular---BUT ONLY ON THE GOLF COURSE. On the golf course they're ok, but wear them to the movies or the grocery store and be ready for those puzzled, surprised, and sometimes disgusted looks from others.

In earlier times, if a man wore earrings, he would be ridiculed and presumed gay. At some point though, it became ok for a man to wear earrings and now they don't get a second look. Even Jim Vance, the NBC 4 Newsguy who I really admired and respected, wore an earring when he delivered the news. Sadly, Jim passed away on July 22, 2017.

Another example would be women and tattoos. Not too long ago, if a woman had a tattoo, she was considered to be "trailer trash" or "from the wrong side of the tracks". Then it became not only ok, but extremely fashionable to have a tattoo or multiple tattoos. What brought about the change? I suppose all it takes is a celebrity such as Angelina Jolie (tattoos) and Madonna (wearing lingerie as outer wear). But I guess it's going to take more time before Lady Gaga's dress made from meat??! gains a foothold! :-)

If you follow "baseball cap fashion", you'll know that the "flat bill" has become more popular than the traditional "curved bill". In earlier times, if someone wore a flat bill, they were immediately considered uncool and nerdy. Then, I don't know, someone famous -- I believe a rapper like "50 cent" wore his flat billed cap, and it soon became cool and street-wise to wear it that way. The curved bill became popular in the first place as a more effective way of protecting ones eyes from the glare of the sun, but now it's only used by those who cling to the old school ways. In fact, I was in a baseball cap store in Georgetown recently and I saw nothing but flat bills. I asked the guy working there if they had curved bills and he pulled out a few small boxes, opened them up and showed them to me. They weren't even on display!

And remember polo shirts in the 80's? Someone somewhere decided that he/she would turn the collar up, (maybe to protect the neck from the sun) and a new trend started. That style has faded, but occasionally you see older people wearing their polo shirts with upturned collars (maybe they think it's still in style!), and even some younger ones who are going for that retro-look.

Pantyhose vs. bare legs? Same thing -- you used to never see bare legs, now that's pretty much all you see, especially on the west coast. Well, the list goes on and on, but my point is that I have no desire to follow any kind of "acceptable" fashion guidelines, although I think it's interesting how some things become "appropriate" and others remain "inappropriate".

★One of the things that I've noticed over my years of "people watching", is that most girls do not know how to walk in heels. I think it's so beautiful to see a poised and confident woman, gracefully and sensuously walking in a sexy and elegant pair of heels. Unfortunately, this sight is so uncommon that when I do see it, I'm totally mesmerized. I know a former professional ballet dancer who, when walking in heels, is so confident and so graceful, that she never fails to turn heads. If there ever was a fitting real life example of "poetry in motion", this girl when walking in heels, regardless of the height -- 2" or 5" -- would be it. There are of course, varying degrees of walking in heels the wrong way. Some make me think that only a few small adjustments are necessary, while others are embarrassingly awkward and need a lot of help. I often wonder if women as a general rule, do the homework necessary to learn what it takes to walk in heels, and practice those techniques to perfect their walk. My guess is that most do not.

In reality though, I am by no means one of those perfect walkers, and I could benefit from some practice myself. When I do see one of those rare, elegant walkers, I make mental notes and try to incorporate their techniques into my walk. It's amazing what just a little work in this area does for poise, confidence, and allure. Maybe you'd like to get together (as platonic friends if you're not interested in a serious relationship) for some high heel practice sessions!

The designer John Galliano once said, "Style is wearing an evening dress to McDonald's, wearing heels to play football. It is personality, confidence and seduction." And a quote from Sophia Loren😍: "Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful." I believe there's a lot to these statements. This is why so many girls who may not have those drop dead gorgeous looks come across as sexy and desirable--they have CONFIDENCE, POISE and STYLE!

So come on girls-- (head held high, shoulders back!) go online and watch some YouTube videos about the proper way to walk in heels, develop some subtle but mesmerizing body language, and most of all, be aware of your walk, know the effect it has on people, and work at it to continuously improve! The increased confidence and poise will benefit your love life, your health and flexibility, and your professional life.

★I've visited many "erotic websites" featuring beautiful and sexy women (any man who says he hasn't done this is lying!). One thing I've noticed, is that many of the models pose for the pictures using a facial expression that is supposed to be sexy. The best way to describe this is that they look like they are either in pain, bored, angry, or uncomfortable. You know that look--head held back, mouth slightly open, eyes halfway closed. I don't know whether the photographer tells them to look sexy and this is the expression they use-- or the photographer describes the exact look he/she wants. Or some of the models might have this blank, mannequin like stare. To me, these expressions are not nearly as sexy as a woman posing for a picture with a nice, natural smile. These smiling girls are sending the message to the viewer that they are confident, warm, and fun.

Confidence, warmth, and fun are VERY sexy! And if they are not smiling, they are looking into the camera again, exuding confidence and self assuredness and basically saying "I know I'm beautiful, sexy and intelligent, and I love being a woman". And even though I love to watch fashion shows (Remember CNN's "Style" with Elsa Klensch? My Saturday morning wasn't complete without watching it!), the models usually had this bored, blank look on their face as they walked the runway. I would be thrilled if these fashion shows all featured models who smiled and looked like they were having fun!  But maybe there is a reason for the fashion models to have that bored look. Perhaps the designer is saying, "I don't want people to look at the models face, I want them to look at the clothes!" That may be true, but a smiling, fun loving and playful model makes an outfit much more beautiful and sends the message, "wear this ensemble and you'll be fun and beautiful too!"

But back to the erotic website models-- I don't know, maybe they've done some type of study and the results show that most men find that painful, angry, or bored look to be sexy. And if that's the case, my preferences are just further proof that I'm not like most men!

★ Speaking of posing for a photograph, and at the risk of offending many people, I have to say that taking a picture of oneself (a selfie), while standing in front of a mirror awkwardly holding a cell phone is not very natural or attractive. I know, lots of people do it, but to me, this sends a message of, "I have no friends to take a picture of me, or I have no activities to engage in while being photographed, so I'll just stand in my bathroom and take a picture of myself." Part of what makes a good picture is the feeling that the subject is enjoying himself/herself. How fun can standing there by oneself be? And again, I'm probably offending many, but the ultimate mistake is using one of these pictures for a *profile picture!*

Surely there are events and activities at which to be photographed, and surely there are friends, relatives, co-workers, or even strangers who will gladly take your picture if you ask (and stop calling me Shirley!) :-).....June 4, 2017 update: Wow, I've gotten a lot of messages expressing strong disagreement with my views on this subject. But I'm holding firm on my position that selfies are less attractive and less fun than traditional posed photos.

★Most people have at least one or two hobbies. The obvious benefits are stress reduction and numerous other health benefits. Hobbies give us a fun diversion from everyday life and the sense of satisfaction from engaging in something one loves to do. Some like to go fishing, tend to the garden, collect stamps--mine just happens to be cross dressing and gender bending.  One of my cross dresser friends put it this way: "Some men play golf. I play girl!"

My life choices give me the opportunity to step outside the everyday persona and become someone different, even if just for one night. I think that's why so many adults love Halloween (I'm one of them!).

I know one guy who is extremely passionate about participating in Civil War reenactments. He goes to several reenactments every year, wears authentic uniforms (thick wool -- very hot in the sweltering heat of the summer), carries authentic weaponry, and even eats the food that civil war soldiers ate --hardtack and corn pone. He absolutely loves it. Why? I suppose it's due to reasons similar to mine -- to create a diversion from everyday life and engage in one's passion.

But in my opinion, there is something a little unsettling about glorifying such a tragic event -- one in which over 600,000 people perished. Successful lawyers, accountants, auto mechanics, etc. -- pretending and fantasizing that they are going through the same physical and emotional trauma as the original soldiers. To me, it's not much different than "re-enacting" the 9/11 tragedies. I'm reasonably certain that if this were to be done, it would immediately be considered to be "poor taste". But I'm sure that the passage of time somehow softens the emotional impact, and using this logic, in about 100 years there may be people who have a passion for being a part of "9/11 re-enactments".

But...to each his or her own, so Civil War actors -- if this is your passion, go out and enjoy yourselves! And some people love to go to Star Wars or super hero conventions dressed to the nines as their favorite character. Why is this kind of activity generally considered harmless, creative fun, while my gender bending artistic endeavors are often met with scorn and ridicule, and often prompt speculation about mental and emotional stability? I recently received a message from a lovely girl from the Philippines, and I was stunned at the simple and logical outlook she had regarding my lifestyle.

Here's how she put it: ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫.....I never experience liking a man looking like a woman. But your an exception to that. I never saw you different or complicated. Just like any other. I saw you just like an amazing person who dedicates himself with his passion. Never saw you as a girl but a man who enjoys his passion and bravely does what his heart want him to do.if i love singing or cooking, you love cross dressing so whats wrong with that my sweet? Nothing right. :* do not except yourself with everyone. You belong with us and you deserve to be treated normal just like what every man deserves. But lemme tell you a secret okay? Even though i saw you as normal man. My heart beats specially telling me. Your really special. ❤ so because of that. Be ready to be treated special too. ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫

Another heartfelt message (which I have read over and over again for inspiration and confidence!) is: ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫"Reading your profile was such a rich experience that I wanted to compliment you and reinforce that you re a very special and unique person, one with so much depth, insight, awareness, honesty, thoughtfulness, compassion and wisdom. Your articulate blog drew me in completely, and I felt blessed to be fortunate enough to have you share your inner self, inner spirit, inner soul with me. I felt a warmth and tenderness that truly touched me. You are truly amazing, inside and out, and deserve to find your happiness, fulfillment and joy throughout your lifetime."¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫

And my absolute favorite response to my profile comes from a beautiful woman (inner and outer beauty!) in Romania and she writes:

¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ •°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ It took me almost two hours to read your entire profile. I had to look for the explanation of some words or expressions, being an excellent exercise in improving my English and at the same time a fascinating immersion in understanding a person as complex as you are. It is the most powerful, captivating, complex and honest profile I have ever read. I never thought I could. read something like this on OKC. I am still amazed by your clear, logical, profound and so colorful style of expression You are a very special person, so different from what I'm used to know but so human and profound in a way that few people can be. ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ..✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.✫¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫ •°*”˜˜”*°•✫ ¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•✫

★ A lot of people ask me how and when I developed an interest in cross dressing and gender bending. I'm not exactly sure, maybe it's an innate characteristic, or maybe a particular incident or experience created a spark and my creative imagination just ran with it. I do recall at about age five becoming mesmerized with these beautiful cocktail glasses emblazoned with the stunning women painted by the artist Alberto Vargas. Vargas' style by the way, has been copied by many, but no one really comes close. If you're curious about his work, simply google "Alberto Vargas" and you'll see some of the images that I believe created the spark that lit the fire, giving me this lifelong fascination.

Countless television viewing experiences added fuel to the fire, so to speak. Remember Ginger from "Gilligan's Island"? I was captivated by her beauty and elegance -- evening gowns and high heels while stranded on a deserted island walking through the sand! 😊 And a series of old commercials for "Muriel Cigars" starring Edie Adams (who incidentally bore a resemblance to Ginger (or was it Ginger who resembled Edie? 😊) View these fun and sexy commercials on YouTube, if you like. There was a lot of sexual innuendo and double entendre in these commercials, but it all went over the head of a young and mesmerized viewer.

I could list dozens more, but the gist of all this is that strong visual stimulation, a passion for feminine beauty and elegance, combined with an active and creative imagination, set the stage for a life-long appreciation and admiration of feminine beauty.

★Another question I get fairly often is, "Do you ever think about transitioning to being female 24/7, ala Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner and thousands of others? I've often wondered about it, but so far I've had no desire or motivation to go down that road. Some transgendered people have a burning desire to present as who they are inside-- 24/7. For them, there is just no other way to survive.

Other transgendered people (like me), find pleasure in both their masculine and feminine sides and as such have neither the need nor the desire to make the transition to 24/7. In fact, I believe that being "gender fluid" makes me appreciate both my male and femme sides even more. April 30, 2018 update: I just finished Caitlyn Jenner's book, "The Secrets of My Life". I wanted to read it to compare my lifelong thoughts of being transgendered to those of CJ. Although I never won an Olympic Gold Medal, many, many aspects of our lives and inner thoughts are eerily similar. I highly recommend this book (which is an easy and entertaining read) for anyone who has an interest in knowing about the myriad of difficult challenges and coping solutions that transgendered people typically face.

I also read "Becoming Nicole" -- a New York Times best seller about a family with identical twin boys -- one of whom is transgendered, and the other being a "normal" boy. One of the key concepts of this story is how the brain becomes "masculinized" or "feminized" ~~while still in the womb~~. Sexual anatomy is determined approximately six weeks into the pregnancy, however the brain does not "masculinize" or "feminize" until six ~~months~~ ... and can be very different even in the case of identical twins. This is another great story of courage and perseverance -- not only for Nicole, but for her entire family.

And I recently came across a brief, but very interesting and informative essay titled, "The Psychology of Cross-Dressing". A couple of high impact quotes from this article:

**...”But in truth, cross-dressing is grounded in a highly logical and universal desire: the wish to be, for a time, the gender one admires, is excited by – and perhaps loves. Dressing like a woman is merely a dramatic, yet essentially reasonable, way of getting closer to the experiences of the sex one is profoundly curious about – and yet has been (somewhat arbitrarily) barred from... “

and

**”It may be bewildering to have to accept that one is at heart, in the semi-conscious mind, always going to be something far more diverse, multi-faceted but also perhaps interesting than a mere ‘man’ or a ‘woman’** If you'd like to read the entire essay, it can be found at:

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-psychology-of-cross-dressing/

As I mentioned early in the blog, for me, this has always been a fun, creative, and artistic expression of feminine beauty which I enjoy very much. But do I feel like a "woman trapped in a man's body"? I guess the answer is sometimes yes, and sometimes no. Which supports my theory that some transgendered people find pleasure and comfort by embracing certain aspects of both genders.

Only lately have I taken the time to look into the pros and cons of hormone treatments which most consider to be one of the first steps of transitioning from one gender to the other on a full time basis. One notion that surfaces over and over again -- when it comes to genetic males taking female hormones -- is that they feel more relaxed and have more inner peace. It has also been reported that this more relaxed feeling allows them to connect with people on a deeper, more meaningful level. Now I'm not going to rush out and start taking female hormones, but experiencing those feelings that are generally attributed to females is something that intrigues me.

One other thing that I have heard trans women describe as a result of hormone treatments is that their senses are heightened. Colors are brighter and scents are stronger. It is almost as if one's senses are somehow altered or enhanced. Again, very intriguing. Buuuuut... a HUGE DRAWBACK of hormone treatments is often (usually) a diminished sexual response ("E.D. to be specific) and THAT -- is something that will most likely keep me from venturing into those waters!

I have a lot of respect for the transgender people who "go all the way" because it is undeniably a difficult road to travel. Only a few transsexuals who were born male have features and outward physical characteristics that allow them to blend in with other genetic women without being scrutinized. And that's why I have so much respect for people like Caitlyn Jenner because, no matter how much surgery or how many hormones she takes, she will still have many physical characteristics typically associated with non-genetic women. That takes A LOT OF COURAGE and presents so many challenges in life.

★ It is entirely possible that the the “normal” khaki wearing, briefcase toting guy you see every day has a secret desire to cross dress or feel feminine, but doesn't dare tell anyone about it. It's much more common than you might think. I feel bad for the guys who are 100% in the closet because their femme side is locked up and hidden away, and they struggle to keep their secret, terrified that their wives or girlfriends will discover that they have these feelings.

Often, they try to overcompensate by being excessively macho and manly. I know one cross dresser whose wife knows, but totally disapproves. He told me that at one point, he secretly rented space in a storage facility so he could have some "girl time". A damp and dimly lit storage facility?? How lonely and depressing is that!? While it is true that when going out en femme, the venue has to be considered, (some places, unfortunately are not "TG friendly") but at least I'm not locked up in a storage facility trying on dresses and heels! I hope the storage facility guy eventually gains a little more freedom.

I decided long ago that if I was going to be married or have a serious relationship, it would be with a woman who not only knew about my femme side, but enjoyed and appreciated it also.

★You'll no doubt agree that this blog seems to be a bottomless pit.  There's a reason for such extensive expression.  I want people to know as much about me, without concealing anything. Think about all those people who write a few paragraphs (or in some cases, just a few words!) in a dating profile about who they are and what they want in a significant other. Are they really letting you look into their deepest, most private thoughts? Or are they just giving you the information they think you might want to hear?

I have a friend who met a guy, and married him about a year later. Shortly after they married, he expressed a desire for her to look and act like a little girl as a sexual stimulant for him. I have no problem with role play as an enhancement to sexual matters. Actually, I think it's quite healthy and creative. For this guy however, the "little girl fantasy" was the be all and end all and my friend quickly realized that something didn't sit right with her. Now, without knowing the intricate details of the marriage, I can't say for sure how the marriage ended, but it did. And after talking with my friend, I learned that his fixation was a primary factor. Why do I relate this story in my profile?

Well, this guy and the unfortunate girl could have saved a lot of heartache had he been up front with her before they were married. If he had told her all about this part of him that seemed to fixate on his adult wife looking and acting like an 8 year old for his sexual pleasure-- she could have made an informed decision about whether she could or couldn't live with his fetish. She most likely wouldn't have married him and she could have been free to pursue they type of relationship she wanted, and he could have been free to look for a woman who didn't have a problem with his desires.

To my knowledge, he wasn't into child pornography -- he just wanted his wife to "act the part". And that brings me back to my situation. I'm fully aware that most women would not be interested in pursuing a relationship with me. But I'm up front about myself and I would never want to string someone along, and then suddenly reveal a very different side of myself. Doing so would be extremely selfish and detrimental to the relationship, to say the least. What you have from me -- from the start -- is complete openness with nothing concealed. I wonder how many dating site profiles go to such great lengths.

★ I often wonder why, when a little girl shows an interest in things like toy trucks, or football, the parents rarely discourage her from being interested in these things. In fact, they often encourage her to experience things that are traditionally feminine AND traditionally masculine. When young boys express interest in traditionally feminine things -- Barbie Dolls, princess dresses, etc., -- there is usually A LOT OF CONCERN and disappointment that he's not a "normal boy".

Is it that we all have a subconscious notion that masculine is "strong, good, and positive" and feminine is weak? Not that long ago -- sadly -- many white people really did think (some consciously, some subconsciously ) that black people were born with an inferior intellect. At one time, there were no black quarterbacks in the NFL and even though it was rarely discussed, everyone knew that the reason was the notion that black players were not smart enough to be a quarterback. Fortunately we have evolved and that kind of thinking is, for the most part, extinct.

I wonder if that feminine/masculine thinking for our children will continue through the ages, or will it evolve into a broader, more logical and humane way of thinking. If you'd like to see an amazing video of how a father responds -- in a very positive way-- to his son's apparent feminine interests, check out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWlsMulh3MY

★ I recently came across a YouTube channel called "Fabricio Castro Fotografia". I suppose I could write pages about this, but I'll keep it brief and if you're interested you can check out his channel. He has a team of photographers, makeup artists, and hairstylists that do an amazing job of transforming teenage boys into beautiful young women. What's really amazing is that the parents of these boys are ~~very supportive and encouraging~~. And they pay Mr. Castro a lot of money for his services.

Very often, the transformation is done for a big party -- very popular among the Hispanic community is the "Quinceañera" party -- the 15th Birthday. After their transformations, they become very feminine and beautiful girls in their formal gowns. They are also coached on feminine walking, mannerisms, etc. But the true beauty of all of this is the look of total joy, happiness, and contentment as they become "girls for a day". I can tell that, in the majority of cases, it's not just a curiosity on the part of these boys. They wouldn't go to all the trouble and expense if it was just a curiosity or a whim. And the parents most likely wouldn't support them unless they felt it was extremely important to their sons. They feel female on the inside and the look of content and inner peace that you see when they are transformed is very heartwarming.

I also can't help but to think that after their "girl for a day" they become a little depressed and disappointed that they have to return to being boys. But I also feel that the parents are fully aware that their child is transgendered, and this is very likely just the first step in ultimately transitioning to a full time female.

This is a perfect example of how societal views have changed regarding transgendered persons. When I was young, I ★wouldn't have dreamed★ of asking my parents to allow me to do this. And if I had asked them, it would have been met with scheduling appointments with a psychiatrist. Coming out as transgender during this time period would have resulted in so many negative outcomes, and unfortunately many transgendered children (who didn't even know what being transgendered was) became emotionally scarred and even suicide victims. I have so much respect and admiration for these modern day brave children and their progressive thinking parents.

★Finally, MMO, which is an acronym for "Male Multiple Orgasm". Although it may sound like an oxymoron, it is entirely possible for a male to develop this amazing ability which most people understand to be the sole province of women. It's not an easy thing to accomplish because most men are wired to achieve orgasm in the traditional manner. But armed with an open mind, patience and relaxation, many men can "re-wire" themselves and discover a whole new world of pleasure. There is a lot written on MMO, so if you're interested in knowing more, simply do an internet search on "male multiple orgasms" and you'll learn about some very interesting concepts.

★ I have not had sexual relations with a partner for a long time. This however, has in no way limited my sexual pleasure or diminished my sexual desire, as I have discovered and refined some amazing um, "solo techniques"😊 that have resulted in some earth shattering experiences. I've also done a lot of research regarding diet, exercise, and vitamin/herbal supplements to maximize sexual response. The results are astounding! But the most powerful and the most important sex organ? Without a doubt --the brain.

One very apparent result of my staying out of relationships for so long, is that I have been able to reflect on past relationships and recognize the things that I did (or didn't do) which acted to sabotage the development and progression of the relationship. Just about every sport at a professional level involves watching films of past performance. A tennis player might see a glaring flaw in his/her form which can then be corrected. A baseball hitter might take note that he is dropping his shoulder too much when swinging the bat and take steps to correct it.

Well, I don't have actual films, but for me the footage is in my head. And I have a lot of footage! If there is another serious relationship for me, I will (like the professional athlete) learn from the mistakes and take steps to make me a ~~much~~ better partner! I promised myself long ago, that I would not pursue or take part in meaningless or shallow sexual encounters. That is, sex without a ~~deep~~ emotional commitment. And I'm proud to say that I have kept that promise. I don't miss casual sex at all. In fact, I have a lot of regrets about being interested in certain women with only one goal (sex) in mind.

I wish I could talk to each one of them and apologize for my selfish and shallow behavior, and for wasting their time letting them think that there was potential for a more serious relationship when my intentions were entirely short-term, self centered, and shallow. On the other hand, perhaps many of these women were using me in the same way I was using them. In any event, it is now clear to me that these encounters were a waste of time and an impediment to the development of healthy emotional maturity.

One issue that came up several times in past relationships was my admiration of pretty women while out and about with the girl I was dating. It wasn't like, "...oooh, look at her, she's FINE!!" It was more like me just sneaking a glance and appreciating her beauty, style, elegance and fashion choices. But you know? --most women have this built in "radar" that immediately notifies them that their man is looking at and taking in the beauty of another woman. There was a funny commercial -- I can't even remember the product--I think it was Corona beer-- that shows a couple on the beach. A stunningly beautiful bikini-clad woman walks by and the guy just gawks at her, mouth agape. His wife/girlfriend, without even looking up from the book she's reading -- places her hand on the guy's chin and pushes it up to close his mouth. A perfect example of the "radar" I just described.

One girl I was dating always knew that I was stealing glances and she never failed to tell me, "I know you're looking at her" or something like that. And rather than apologize to her, I would defend my position and say, "yes, I was looking at her--that doesn't mean I want to date her. It's just human nature to look at and appreciate beauty." She didn't buy that excuse, and I think it was one of the main reasons that our relationship didn't last. Looking back on it, I now see how it made her feel and I'd like to apologize to her for the distress I caused her.

On the other hand, I'm really not sure if I'll ever be able to resist admiring all the feminine beauty that the world has to offer. So if I ever enter another serious relationship, I'll have to tell her these things and make sure she doesn't have a problem with it. I think that maybe, just maybe-- women who have a problem with their men looking at (not lusting) other women are somewhat insecure. A woman with confidence will view this behavior as a natural and harmless activity.  And by the same token, I'd never call her out for looking at other men (or women) because I understand that this is just part of being human. Why walk around with horse blinders on simply because a significant other is by one's side? I'd be interested in knowing if you agree or disagree with this.

This is a 30 year old secret that I have never revealed to anyone--until now: I saw "Dirty Dancing" -- paid to see it in the theater--not once but twice in one week! It's one of those things that should be filed in the "what was I thinking??" folder. I just remember how cute Jennifer Grey looked (before she got her nose "fixed"), and I remember how I liked the music, regardless of the fact that the movie was kind of schmaltzy. I don't think I've seen ANY movie twice in the theater. I've seen many movies multiple times, but none were seen more than once in the theater. I've probably seen "Jaws" 20 times, "Rocky Horror" at least 10 times, and "Blazing Saddles" about 10 times, "The Shawshank Redemption" about 10 times, "Dances With Wolves" about 10 times, "Double Indemnity" about 10 times, and the recently released "Frozen" about ten times! I still don't think I'll tell anyone (other than in this blog) the "Dirty Dancing" secret ...very embarrassing! 😊

This really isn't a private thing, but I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I don't do text messaging or Facebook. I do have a smart phone-- A Samsung that's about six years old (ANCIENT in cell phone years!). But I don't use it as a cell phone. For me, it's a music player, video player, camera, video camera, address book, and occasional internet surfer -- everything except a phone! My phone is an even more ancient Motorola "flip phone" that can't even send or receive text messages -- it's only a phone. I got it on ebay for $15.00. I've lost it a few times and its has always made its way back to me, mainly, I suppose, because no one would want this phone and I guess the finders have all felt sorry for the "low-tech user" who owned it! 😊 If I lost a smart phone, I'd probably never see it again.

I’d love to have you contact me if perhaps: 

You think you're that special person  I'm looking for...

OR, if you just want to be friends....perhaps you have ZERO interest in my lifestyle that no doubt traverses a different path... but maybe you'd like a friend to cultivate some of your interests that coincide with some of mine ---rollerblading, ice skating, theater, travel, etc.

...you’re a TG girl like myself who would like a friend to hang out with, have dinner, go to a show, or go out dancing...Halloween is approaching -- are you interested?

...you'd like a friend for an impromptu visit to the nail salon for a pedicure followed by a fun outdoor (weather permitting) lunch!

...you're a beautiful lady with a lot of style and confidence and you love to get dressed to the nines for a night out at a restaurant of your choice. Just us two girls, oblivious to the gawkers and admirers that we know are checking us out. One night...no strings attached...we go our separate ways after I pay the tab (that's right, it's on me), and all we have is the memory of a lovely evening. It may appear to be a shallow experience, but who says everything in life needs to be deep and significant?

...you may not want to be tied down and you may not be interested in anything intimate or long term-- that's ok --just one unique experience for an evening. And if it leads to more nights out, all the better!

.....you are a fun and adventuresome couple. Many of my friends are couples, so if the two of you think you'd enjoy my company, I'd love to hear from you. I once was close to a couple who came to my home for dinner with me (dressed in my French Maid's Uniform) serving as their waitress. Afterwards, we went out for drinks and dancing.

...you're a straight woman who might be fascinated by the idea of having a lesbian relationship, but also enjoys the company of a man. In other words, ..."the best of both worlds!"

...you're attracted to my positive energy and creativity, but you want no part of my femme presentations. Ok, fair enough. Any time we spend together will be with me in male mode, recognizing of course that I cannot and will not suppress my femme side and I will continue to enjoy this part of me with friends who enjoy and embrace my femme side

...you're a lesbian or bi-sexual woman who would like a TG friend.

...you're an "aging baby boomer" (I cringe when I hear that term and you may cringe also -- if that's the case, my apologies!) who has previously been highly independent, but realizes that growing old (another cringe) will be more palatable with a partner who can provide emotional support and companionship. I seem to be in a state of denial about this issue, mainly because I think and feel like I'm light years away from "being old" but as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, it (old age) will eventually be banging loudly on our doors.

...you are bride planning her wedding and (omg!) one of your best friends has backed out of her commitment to be one of your bridesmaids. Your problems are over because you've found me: I can step in and take her place as one of your beautiful bridesmaids!😊. I also love bachelorette parties and would be honored to be one of your girls!

...and speaking of weddings, maybe you're going to a wedding, family event, class reunion, or other social engagement and would like to make a BIG SPLASH by bringing a fun, fabulous TG girl as your date or platonic friend.

...you admit that you need some practice walking in heels and want a non-judgemental practice partner. Or maybe you want to go shoe shopping together!

...you are a man who is an admirer of transgender girls.  I always enjoy making new friends and it is always nice to be appreciated and respected by a gentleman. I know one guy who is not gay, but he is fascinated by the way I can transform myself into pretty and femme looks.

...you're a man who enjoys ballroom dancing and would like to either take lessons or just get out and dance with a transgendered partner. It's an interesting and intriguing idea...

But guys, listen up: Sending me a note saying only "Hi" or "ur sexy" or in one case, apparently it was too much work to write "Hi", he simply wrote "H" -- won't get a response from me.

And... if my quest for romance somehow fails to materialize, I would be interested in taking an alternative route briefly described as:

...If you are an elegant, stylish, chic, successful and confident woman and dominant (straight, lesbian, or bi) who has absolutely no interest in a romantic relationship (but are intrigued by my lifestyle, fashion choices and musings) and would like me in your life to help you with your busy professional and personal activities. I suppose what I'm describing is a personal assistant (or if you prefer to use the term "maid" please do so--there are some very cute maid's uniforms available that I would be happy to wear for you on those special occasions.😊. I am very attentive, and will give strong consideration to dedicating myself 100% to your happiness and pleasure, asking for nothing in return other than knowing and being in the presence of an elegant, successful, feminine, sophisticated, chic and intelligent lady. To me, giving happiness and pleasure is just as rewarding, if not more rewarding than getting. I am willing to relocate! I WILL make your life a lot more interesting!

✨THERE!! --- You made it though my labyrinth of a blog. CONGRATULATIONS!✨ --- you're one of the few!! 😍 ❤

[bitwarm9-blog]

Changing the entire world takes heart.

The three years since hentai games's original release, I Have considered it nearly daily. Its luxurious style captures its spirit of rebellion and breathes life in its own dynamic combat system. The evocative, slamming soundtrack perfectly encapsulates the e motion of each moment. The down-time spent in Tokyo together with your friends brings you closer into each of them, invigorating your fight for what's perfect. These properties feed right to some bold narrative that unapologetically puts its foot down towards the injustices which signify our personal culture. Even the prolonged version, hentai games, attracts the heat all over again. But outside of an array of fantastic gameplay refinements and capabilities that enhance an already-rich RPG includes a momentous fresh story arc hammered within the first story and paid off in full at the ending. It produces some thing truly astonishing, resulting in awe-inspiring minutes and emotional conclusions that recontextualize exactly what I imagined the game has been. Throughout its protracted 120-hour runtime, hentai games demonstrates it self because the definitive edition of a modern classic. Even the second you commence P5R, you're given the incredible media res debut that brilliantly showcases the experience you are in for--and provides a glimpse at the Royal-exclusive character Kasumi. After this teaser, you're brought towards the chronological beginning of story that then walks through the functions that emphasized the flame in our protagonist (aka Joker) and kicked his travel as being a virtuous trickster. The launching hours may require a while to select the tempo up, but by easing you into the match's systems, you are set up for that remainder of its stream. P5R expertly intertwines the daily arrangement of alive like a Japanese high school pupil and a supernatural-powered vigilante battling evil in an alternate dimension. Considering that the societal sim things and RPG dungeon crawling are stitched together effortlessly, you increase attached into the world you are fighting to change. This is really a structure that is the series foundation as Persona 3, and it really is now at its effective here in P5R having a scope of new and possibilities minor UI aspects that help convey your options. Vigilantly deciding how to devote your own precious nights and days by balancing faculty existence, relationships, and also your duties like a Phantom Thief through the duration of the calendar season also makes the boring enjoyable. You'll spend some time with personalities to know on that which pushes them and witness their growth as they internalize and over come their traumatic pasts. One of the relations would be kindhearted adults tired by means of a system that has neglected adolescents and them chased by their past and stressing their future. These are rather human stories which often hit near home and also inspire within their very own modest way (even though a few are inherently awkward). And those connections along with your Confidants bestow powers you take into conflict. P5R helps make the Confidant process less complicated with new scenes, at the type of phone calls, to help position them up more quickly, efficiently granting the ability to determine more of these stories that are appealing. It truly is important as there are a few brand new Confidants to bond with as nicely. The key new opportunities are using Goro Akechi, who is currently some body you decide to devote time with, which eventually leads to a better comprehension and growth of him this time around. Kasumi Yoshizawa has been touted since the huge accession to the roster; she matches very well and you're going to realize that her desire to become an elite competitive gymnast arises in the darker, more complicated place. Although her screen time is limited from the first 1 / 2 of the match, she becomes imperative to this rescue of the newest story beats and a welcome ally to fight along with the rest of the gang you love and know. Above all is your faculty adviser Takuto Maruki, a tremendous character who truly elevates P5R's story. He has an exceptional thematic suit, offering viewpoints on emotional health that hadn't been touched in the very first. His narrative was cleverly integrated into the heart narrative, and he's also vital for unlocking what's beyond hentai games's authentic story and some of P5R's finest moments. Associations are exactly what drive one , but also the hardfought battles take place within the Metaverse, a physical manifestation of corrupt cognition. Demonic shadows lurk since you work to metaphysically crush the twisted desires of abusers who have oppressed your friends and many others--and you do so with a hyper-stylized, positive swagger. With the majority of Palaces includes a brand new bash manhood and story twist about what directed them to combine the reason. These aren't just tragic back stories for the sake of being dramatic, nevertheless --it really is the best way to come to understand their battling soul till they turned into a beloved comrade. Accepting those story-critical Palaces never ever loses its allure, because their trippy, ingenious designs and enemies appeal you into the wild battles across. At times, the first assumption of Palaces is subverted to amazing influence; some times evil doers are not the only people who want a reversal of heartdisease. It further compels you to seek exactly what lies ahead.

Beyond an array of excellent gameplay refinements and functions that improve an already-rich RPG comes a momentous new narrative arc seeded over the authentic narrative and paid off in full at the ending. Palaces feature a few small but smart shifts in P5R, also. Re arranged dungeon designs accommodate Joker's brand new grappling hook, enabling you to swing to new places. They often lead to Will Seeds, a collectible that divides SP and mildew to useful accessories. Returning gamers can even notice that some dungeon layouts are streamlined, producing mining smoother. Mementos, the Metaverse's set of procedurally generated floors, additionally has some much-needed overhauls. Transferring about to progress within such twisted subway aquariums whilst the Morgana bus had been book, but climbed repetitive in the game. P5R throws in fresh mechanics such as collecting blossoms and stamps to money in for things that are useful and perks to enhance battle rewards. And probably the most welcome change is that, in the place of precisely the exact same song all through, new tunes play deeper degrees. Apart from jelqing navigating these surreal dungeons, you're going to be paying a whole lot of time participated in P5R's lively turn-based overcome. It really is fast and fashionable, also builds on the powerful foundation of Shin Megami Tensei, that has you focusing on harnessing elemental flaws and earning additional ends. Common enemies can be fodder after their affinities are exposed, but tougher kinds, mini bosses, and supervisors tap into battle intricacies. P5R layers more onto struggles, just like the foolish show time strikes that have two party members spouse to get a high-damage combo that initiates in clutch scenarios. Even the powered-up Baton move mechanic is much more essential as it can certainly boost harm and replenish HP and SP. And boss battles now have different stages that pose brand new, ambitious challenges that require you to feel , testing your hands of the combat process. The winding swagger of this all extends to the eloquent and effective UI which will help maintain fight up's speed that is fast. Every thing unfolds in such a speedy and stylish manner you can not help but fall deeply in love to it and the Phantom intruders who pull all these flamboyant moves. In a second version of the match, executing onscreen strikes and seeing them hasn't lost a single bit of its charm. Never has a turn-based fight program been this particular thrilling. hentai games is many things: some selection of little motivational tales, an ambitious harrowing journey with a few decent friends, a stunning visual and sensory encounter, a resounding call to activity. But P5R is not right here to merely look quite . Beneath the mask of its own unrelenting style and charming silliness are the friendships that you form and motivate one to follow along with fight right through to the first conclusion. In their persona awakenings into this minute you see them completely comprehend their goals, your fellow Phantom Thieves become your experience die within this heavy-hitting story. In targeting perpetrators of sexual attack, employee misuse, and vile authoritarianism,'' hentai games draws a very clear line from the sand--people in this way have zero place within our society and also deserve no prey. There isn't any middle ground, no compromise to be made, no equally sides-ism. Your crew's personal drama occasionally circulates in to the broader message, however perhaps not without illustrating why you are fighting so hard to shift things. Even when doubt about their vigilante ways commences to creep into characters work , stick for their beliefs, and also realize there wasn't really a choice in the situation. Admittedly, P5R is often subtle as a brick. It really is easy to nitpick exactly where its creating drops into being overly simplistic or perhaps a bit rote--although it has improved in some instances it can continue to be primitive sometimes. It's not especially pithy in its own storytelling, but but it cann't need to function as. In currently being clear day at its story, the messages and characterizations are unmistakable. In addition, it is so crazy for me the match's almost-caricature villains have been significantly less and not as far-fetched in just the 3 years since the original release--that the obvious misuse of power, their wrong doings set nude, and the masses shrouded in watching them experience impacts. In end to the original story arc just hits otherwise now, and the game's striking battles are now increasingly more laborious. Transitioning in to the Royal-exclusive next term, there is a tonal shift that is cheaply executed. Stranger things begin to occur, in a strangely unsettling method, particularly during the seemingly blissful winter. Here, P5R takes a twist toward genuine moral quandaries. Within this semester, there's somewhat more to learn on your friends, also there's one last Palace . Which is, without a doubt, the optimal/optimally person in the entire match. These brand new incidents have been attractively recorded with brand new Royal-exclusive songs that amplify that which has been already an iconic, yet genre-bending sound track. The puzzles within just will shock youpersonally, and intriguing revelations about characters propel them properly beyond who they presented to be. The speed in which it has educated and by what method the set of activities are framed paint hentai games at a fresh, captivating light when staying true to the original spirit. This fresh narrative arc reaches an expansive awareness of scale and finality, yet catches a more intimate, personalized tone. Plus it builds up to what's also the greatest boss struggle in all of the game, pushing your beat abilities for your own limits. P5R effortlessly simplifies among their initial flaws: its own marginally sudden ending. From the vanilla variant, actually after around 100 hours, it felt like there was still a missing piece; P5R has that overlooking piece. There is 15 about 20 hours values of great content which takes hentai games in another direction whilst going all on its own very best characteristics. It supplies a dramatic, stunning ending even after the initial bombastic, over-the-top conclusion. These new incidents are beautifully captured with brand new Royal-exclusive tunes that shorten the thing that has been already an iconic, yet genre-bending sound track. I always recognized"living Will transform" and"Rivers In The Desert" as perfect samples of the way hentai games makes use of its audio to portray precise emotions of the minute --tunes which exude the contagious optimism of the Phantom Thieves going in to have a corrupt heart. As the case with all our older favorites, the brand new sarcastic jams eventually become a highly effective story device. "I Believe" stands like a bold recollection of the long, hardfought travel which culminates to a last struggle, though"Throw Off Your Mask" conveys the hint of reluctance involving a battle of ideals. The brand new Tower's theme has a wistfulness that illuminates the situations that unfold. Audio is inseparable in your Persona experience--the show thrives for this --and some way P5R delivers again to produce a much more profound affect. So, much like from the original, the track"Sunset Bridge" brought my time with P5R to your close. It's really a bittersweet tune which is used across the match to indicate that an instant of clarity for its own characters. But because the final background track before being forced to leave the game , it became my own personal instant of emotion, understanding how much I have treasured my time , and now for many reasons. Since P5R comes to an in depth, it attempts to facilitate one into its end together with heartfelt scenes, some fresh and a few familiar. But in doing so, it only can make it more challenging to say goodbye back again. hentai games is many matters: a selection of little motivational stories, an ambitious harrowing journey with a few fantastic close friends, a magnificent visual and sensory encounter, a resounding call to activity. By refining what has been great and construction onto its finest qualities having a dazzling new story arc,'' hentai games claims as an unforgettable and empowering RPG that ought to be named one of the greatest matches of the time.

#video games #video game #games #mobile games #android games #pc games #online games

[sueboohscorner]

The Vampire Diaries 814 Recap “It’s Been a Hell of a Ride” #TVD #KilltheDevil

Episode grade: 10. Pure perfection. 

All week long, I was both looking forward to and dreading Friday night, because one of my all-time favorite shows is coming to an end…but man, it’s going out strong.

We start with Cade menacing Damon for another crappy deal (all Cade’s deals suck, because he is literally the devil). This time, Cade wants his dagger back–you know, the one thing that could kill him. And of course, Damon’s going to play along, because Cade has Elena’s coffin, delivered helpfully by Kai. 

Elsewhere, Bonnie’s throwing herself into the beautiful pocket dimension she’s able to access, in which she and Enzo can be together. Stefan ignores the “if my dreamland’s a-knockin’” sign and starts bugging her with his guilty conscience. She’s all, Not my problem, brah, and I don’t blame her a bit. Enzo’s a little more forgiving, though, and he urges her to let Stefan off the hook.

Rebuffed by Bonnie and continuing to wallow in his self-pity, Stefan is about to bail on everyone. He agrees to put his broody walkabout on hold when Damon asks him to help get Elena back from Cade. First step: Find Kai Parker.

TVD, I love you. I love you for so many things over the last eight years, but right now, I love you for making time in your final episodes for the delightful insanity of Kai Parker doing karaoke, tweeting (under the amazing handle CobraKai1972) in what can only be described as (ahem) presidential fashion, and hilariously refusing to pronounce Stefan’s name correctly.

Stefan gets stabbed through the hand (this is important), but Damon steps in to take Kai down. They drag Kai into the Armory and toss him in a cell. Alaric is gravely displeased at having his archenemy back under his roof. Of course, Alaric has other things on his mind right now; his daughters have been going all Firestarter.

With Kai stashed away, and the devil dagger in hand, Damon and Stefan head out to find Cade. At the last minute, Stefan insists he has to be the one to kill Cade, because atonement yadda yadda. Damon rationally points out that hey, I’m still a vampire, and you’re not, so of the two of us, I’ve got a much better chance at actually pulling this off. But Stefan is determined to be the hero, so he actually vervains Damon, and OMG Stefan you selfish jackass. Here’s where Stefan’s hand injury is an issue for me. He’s not only mortal, he’s got a freshly maimed stabbing hand. He’s refusing help killing the devil when he’s not even at full strength for a human. 

To be fair, he does have something of a plan…he’s tasked Alaric with ringing the Maxwell hell bell. Since Alaric isn’t part of the Maxwell family line, he won’t be able to access the bell’s full power, but Stefan correctly guesses that the bell’s ringing will at least cause Cade some pain. (I’m choosing to ignore the minor plot hole about how the bell was deconstructed and taken away, yet is now back in the tower. I mean, Bonnie and Enzo had it with them, but her house was stolen from her, so it’s not a safe place anymore…and I am pretty sure Peter Maxwell had taken another component of the bell with him when he left town…but you know what? Screw it. Given the choice between expository dialogue about the bell or Kai Parker singing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” at karaoke, I'll pick the latter every time.)

Speaking of our favorite evil scion of the Gemini coven, Kai and Caroline are having a heart-to-heart about her daughters, who are also, of course, Kai’s nieces. They’re siphons, just like him, and he offers Caroline a personal perspective on the crazy crap her kids are pulling lately. He tells her about growing up a magic-siphoning abomination, treated with disdain and fear, an embarrassment to his magical royal family. Being shut away and ignored, watching as his twin sister was nurtured in her gifts. Occasionally getting a blast of magic when he was able to siphon it from someone or something, and feeling like a druggie the rest of the time, desperate for more. It’s a powerful monologue, subtle and intense, and Caroline is as captivated as the audience is.

Then Kai explains that the reason her kids are suddenly out of control is that they’ve been dumped into an environment so full of magical artifacts, they simply can’t be expected to control their siphoning. He says a place like the Armory practically has magic in its walls…and then he demonstrates by siphoning the very glass that separates him from Caroline. Kai is out, loose in the Armory.

Right now, Alaric is dutifully ringing the hell bell, and it’s basically doing what Stefan thought. Cade is vulnerable, and Stefan’s got a shot here…until Alaric’s phone rings. Josie and Lizzie are calling for their daddy, because Kai is coming after them with an axe. Alaric walks away from the bell without a second glance, and Cade’s back on his feet.

Cade’s about to kill Stefan, but here comes Damon to save the day. Except that Cade already has the dagger now, and he still has Elena, and now he has Stefan as well. Damon has no leverage in this situation. Cade laughs that he’ll give Damon this much: Damon can choose whether it will be Stefan or Elena who dies today. Damon can’t accept this choice, so he asks Cade to take him instead. Cade agrees, requiring Damon to stake himself. Stefan, you know this is your fault, right?

Bonnie feels the psychic ripples of the danger to Elena, and she follows the feeling to where Cade is about to collect Damon’s soul. Bonnie says, Oh hell no, and she and Cade get into a psychic battle. The beauty of a psychic battle is that the opponents are too busy to do anything else…leaving Cade far more vulnerable to attack. Stefan finally does something right, and the devil is dead. 

Back at the Armory, Kai’s stalking the girls, because not being the only surviving member of the Gemini coven is kind of a sore spot for him. He follows their voices into the Siren cave, then siphons away the magical wall Beatrice Bennett put up so long ago…except he hasn’t found the girls, he’s found Ric, pulling a pretty neat trick with his phone on speaker. Ric gets in a good punch or two, but he’s a little outgunned under the circumstances. Fortunately, Caroline is awake from Kai’s neck-snap nap, and she saves the day.

Damon, magically blown back into his body by Bonnie’s psychic rage storm, is able to convince Stefan to stick around and not be a self-pitying jackass for a few minutes. I mean, we’ll see how long before the full-bore brooding starts back up, but for now, Stefan is able to appreciate the miracle of the life he almost lost…presumably because they’re all operating with the belief that killing the devil also destroyed hell, so they’re no longer living with damnation hanging over them. Funny how Stefan is suddenly less ravaged by guilt now that he thinks he’ll escape punishment. He proposes to Caroline all over again, and she says yes, even though she and Ric seemed to be having a moment, and Ric is so totally the better man on every level.

(Also, Stefan is all excited about the future he sees as possible now, and he’s yammering about how great it will be to grow old and help raise kids, and be with his best friend? What best friend? He doesn’t mean Caroline, because he listed her separately in the marriage portion of the speech, and he doesn’t mean Damon, because he has always consistently called Damon his brother. Lexi’s dead, and that’s the only best friend I was aware of…I’m confused.)

Kai awakens, chained to a chair, in the karaoke dive bar from earlier. The delightful 90’s song, “Two Princes,” is starting up. Kai clearly doesn’t like this song as much as I do. Bonnie relishes the moment as she fills Kai in on his new normal: He’s in a new prison dimension, built to approximate his personal idea of suffering. All alone, no magic to siphon, no tricky escape hatches to work on, with a song he hates that will never stop playing.

But Kai has a parting gift for Bonnie, too: the truth about hell. Killing the devil didn’t destroy hell; sure, Cade created hell, but perhaps it took on a life of its own, nourished by the imaginations of all the people who feared it. Or perhaps a pocket dimension simply doesn’t exist in the head or at the whim of its creator; maybe, once created, it’s a true place that can’t be unmade so easily. If the latter, I would like to point out that Bonnie’s new pocket dimension is not simply a place to keep Enzo safe; it might be the place where all her loved ones can spend eternity–the new version of the Other Side!

But I digress. Kai’s revelation to Bonnie continues: Hell is still very much a real place, and there’s someone else who was waiting for Cade to be deposed so that they could step into the top dog spot. Gee, who else do we know who was that bad? Who absolutely went to hell, rather than to the Other Side? 

You got it.

Granted, this raises another question about how bad someone had to be to wind up in hell rather than the Other Side–remember that Silas was on the Other Side, and he was as bad as they come! But that’s a minor aside, and I’m more than okay with it. Katherine is coming back to remind us why she’s “the baddest bitch of them all,” and I can’t think of a more fitting story arc to carry us into the bittersweet ending of this gorgeous series.

Finally, can we talk about the gift to villainy and television and acting that was Chris Wood's portrayal of Kai Parker?

I don’t know that I’ve ever enjoyed a villain more. Chris Wood is masterful, chilling and hilarious by turns, impossible not to pay attention to every moment he’s on screen. I don’t like Kai, obviously, but I love having Kai around. With every other villain we’ve had on TVD, I’ve been thrilled to see them breathe their last. By the time our heroes vanquished the Travelers, or Silas, or fricking awful Julian, I was cheering to have them gone. With Kai, even though he’s terrible, even though it’s clearly good that they’ve bested him!, I’m sorry to see him go.

#The Vampire Diaries #the cw #Chris Wood #Damon Salvatore #Caroline Forbes #Stefan Salvatore #Alaric Saltzman #Bonnie Bennett

[nikkifinnie-blog]

Meet The Bolokos

The Bolokos are a punk band formed in 2009 in Goyave, Guadeloupe (F.W.I). They are composed of Océ Cheapfret (vocals, guitar, bombard, mandolin,) Edy Caramello (vocals, guitar, harmonica, bagpipes,) Mister Fridge (drums, vocals) and Ben O'It (bass, vocals). Pioneers of Punk Rock in Guadeloupe, the group started out playing small clubs on the island as The Sleepwalkers, but quickly renamed themselves the Bolokos. (More on what a Boloko is below!) The band is a fusion of punk, country, ska, Celtic and Creole music. They cultivate a particular style both visually and musically. In December 2014, they released their first single, "Love You As Before" on the Bokit Production label. The band is known to incorporate other instruments not commonly found in punk such as gwo ka, melodica, banjo, and trumpet.  They are releasing their first LP sometime in 2018 produced by Martinican artist Kali. They are native French speakers, but wanted to do the interview in English and I found them to be a group of really funny, very independent and free thinking, extremely talented individuals.  Read on! Photo credit: Lala Von Schwartz (L to R: Ben O’It, Ocè Cheapfret, Edy Caramello, Mister Fridge and Woody the bird!)   Erin: Hi guys!  My first and most pressing question is what the hell is a Boloko? Océ Cheapfret: Hi Erin, thank you very much for this interview! To answer your question, a Boloko is a creole term for someone with a completely extravagant odd outfit and rude manners.  In the West Indies it’s a very pejorative term.  He has no conscience about the lack of good taste or he simply ignores it.  It’s someone who is daring and ignores fashion codes. I see him as an anti-conformist. Edy Caramello: Yeah, it’s kind of an insult. The closest thing I can think of that would translate into English, is a misfit or a bumpkin.  When we began we had a different name but my eldest sister used to call us Bolokos because that’s what we were haha!  So we finally changed it, thinking with a name like that it can permit us to do anything and everything.  But it was a mistake, because at the beginning nobody wanted to hire us because of the name. Here we don’t have that culture of depreciating names for bands. Mister Fridge: We don’t care about what people think.  Even if it’s a denigrating word in Guadeloupe, we choose to laugh at it rather than take it seriously. Erin: Tell me a bit about each one of the band members; where you are from, what made you want to play music, what instruments do you play? Mister Fridge: Let's start with the only woman in the group, Océ Cheapfret!  She’s a bit like our mother, because without her we would forget a lot of things for concerts haha.  But otherwise, it’s this unique, sincere, melodious voice that thrills the audience.  An unforgettable character for the public, everyone remembers her.  Then we have Edy Caramello, the first fan of punk in Guadeloupe, our songwriter without whom none of this would have been possible!  Obviously, without us, it would be nothing, but he gave much of his persona for the band.  And myself the drummer, the oldest, “el padre”.  I originally come from Normandy.  I have lived in Guadeloupe for 10 years.  Music is vital for me.  I also love trying new instruments.  I literally live music, I beat the rhythm everywhere I can. Edy Caramello : Very poetic!  For a shorter presentation, hum hum, I was born and grew up in Guadeloupe.  I think it was listening to Bob Dylan with my father which really gave me an interest in making music rather than only listening or dancing to it.  In the band I do some barking and play guitar, harmonica, bagpipes and banjo. Océ Cheapfret : I do lead vocals and play guitar, mandolin and bombard.  Like Edy, I was born and grew up in the French West Indies (Martinique and Guadeloupe).  After we completed  our studies in France, we decided to reform our old band and spread the punk message louder than the first time.  Punk rock in theWest Indies seemed a risky business at the time.  You know zouk is the predominant music with dancehall and you have other Caribbean music which fills the empty spaces, so rock ‘n’ roll is nearly inexistent.  But we really wanted to share this music which make us so happy and after a lot of gigs and perseverance the audience got bigger. Erin: When did you start playing music and when did you decide or realize music was the path you were going to take? Mister Fridge: I started playing music at 13 with saxophone, but I quickly changed to percussion and it has remained a passion ever since. Océ Cheapfret: My taste for rock music developed at adolescence with Californian bands like The Offspring and Red Hot Chili Peppers. I immediately wanted to play guitar.  At 12, I got my first guitar from my uncle who previously got his first guitar from his uncle!  It’s a kind of a family tradition! Punk music came later with more happy times. My friend Edy introduced me to this very particular scene.  It’s with him that I learned how to sing when we started to play traditional tunes that inspired us so much. Edy Caramello : I was kind of late to start music compared to the other band members.  I was maybe 14 or 15.  I began with piano and my father taught me how to play the harmonica, but it’s Océ who taught me how to play the guitar.  I don’t really know how to explain it because it’s a passion, you know?  It’s when I see people dancing, shouting and singing our songs that I realize that it really worth doing it. Erin: Who are your major influences? What or who inspires you today? Océ Cheapfret: For me, traditional country music (Kingston Trio, Carter Family, etc.,) but the music that is inspiring me the most right now and makes me happy is ska!  Bands like The Selecter and The Specials. Mister Fridge: I listen to a lot of Ska-P, The Offspring, but initially I'm a big fan of ska/reggae music like Toots & the Maytals or Jimmy Cliff. Edy Caramello: My biggest influence will ever remain Bob Dylan, but also The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem, Hank Williams, Carter Family, Kali, D.O.A, Subhumans, UK Subs, The Damned, TV Smith, Goldblade and of course The Clash to name a few. They had a really huge impact on my musical path, and personnal developement. It’s the same people that I was listening to when I was a kid who still inspire my today but also new bands and but not exclusively in the punk scene. Erin: Living on an island, how do you think that affects your music and creativity?  Do you feel isolated or are you better able to develop your own style of music and scene? Why? Edy Caramello: Very interesting one! I think living on an island (reminds me of the Cock Sparrer song!) influenced who we are because we don’t have the same culture and access to Western culture is sometimes difficult.  But, Guadeloupian culture and Caribbean culture in general are dearly beloved by us.  If we would have grown up in another country, we would probably never have started a band.  One of the reasons we did is because nobody played the music we wanted to hear.  There were some bands who played classic rock and the same boring shit we’d hear over and over again, but we wanted to hear bands like U.K. Subs or Sham 69!  Sometimes we feel isolated, but we’re also proud to live here and who knows, without this distance maybe this conversation would have never happened! Océ Cheafret: Cultural mixing is very fascinating. It was very important to us to cultivate this very rich Caribbean culture and mix it with punk music. Though this association seems easy with ska, an adaptation like “Bel Aw,” was the occasion to really show our cultural plurality and give our tribute to traditional Guadeloupian music like Gwo Ka. Mister Fridge: I will add, that in Guadeloupe nobody had been as boloko as The Bolokos haha!  So we try to surprise our audience at each show, change the set list etc. Erin: Do you currently have a record label you are signed with? Océ Cheapfret: No, we are a DIY band. We choose to produce ourselves.  The inconvenience is we don’t have a lot of money, so things take time to happen, but the good part is we don’t have any pressure or someone who tells us what to do. Erin: Where in the world have you played shows? Edy Caramello : For now, only in the Caribbean islands, but our dream is to play at the Rebellion Festival in Blackpool, which we go to every year for our dose of punk rock!  I think that after that I could stop making music and start raising chickens haha! Erin: What is the band currently working on right now?  Tours? Albums? Videos? Océ Cheapfret: We are constantly playing gigs throughout the year where we can.  The next one will be at a festival in Marie-Galante. We’re currently working on our début album which will be out by the end of this year.  It’s already recorded, but now we have to do all the promotion ourselves until the outing. It’s times like these we realize that a label can be helpful haha.  And we start filming a new video clip next week! Erin: Personally, which form of music does each member prefer? Vinyl, CD, cassette or digtal music?  Why? Mister Fridge: Vinyl for the vintage side. Edy Caramello: I would like to say vinyl without sounding like a pretentious twat like Mister Fridge, but I do dig this format.  It’s a sort of a ceremony when you are playing it. You’re really paying attention to what comes out of the speakers.  Now it makes me sound more pretentious than him hahaha!  I also still buy a lot of CD’s to support bands I like.  I don’t use Spotify, Deezer or any digital platform.  If I do it’s for pirating to discover bands, because I don’t have enough money to buy everything I like, but if I really appreciate them, I will buy their music in physical form. Océ Cheapfret: Vinyl has something magical and sounds alive.  Although CD’s are still convenient (more choices,) and cheaper. Erin: Do you think the internet enhances or destroys the creativity of the mind? Mister Fridge: For me, it destroys the creativity of the mind.  Internet influences us too much. Edy Caramello: I have a different take on this one.  You know if the internet didn’t exist I would probably never had developed an interest in music, especially in punk, because we don’t have access to this music here on radio, in shops, shows, etc.  But I get your point that sometimes we spend too much time on it and it can be inhibiting seeing people like a 4 year old little girl playing 1000x times better than you ever will in some YouTube video hah! Océ Cheapfret: The internet is an open door to the world and a source of inspiration, even more for us islanders.  Its content can be a source of inspiration but it also can make you forget your singularity. When you look too much at the others, you forget to live and be yourself. Erin: What guitars/amps/pedals do you use? Mister Fridge: Mapex, Zildjian. Edy Caramello: I use an old telecaster that Océ’s uncle who lives in Lyon gave me few years back. (Thanks Gilles !) I’ve just replaced my first Fender amp I bought in high school with an Orange one but I don’t remember the exact model.  I don’t really use pedals except for a tuner and a boost for solos. Océ Cheapfret: I’m currently using a not well known Canadian brand called Galaxy which was used by Joey Shithead for the last DOA album (last extravagant gift from my friend Edy.) So I couldn’t resist the luxury to play it with a good Orange amp! I haven’t used a pedal since, I just plug in and play!   https://www.facebook.com/thebolokos/ https://www.instagram.com/thebolokos/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdKospwBCKc Read the full article

#punk #TheBolokos