#why do i make myself suffer

[arainywriter]

I figured out what my favorite ship is.

the light one, usually wearing brighter colors and is stereotypically the good one, but is entrenched in a horrible system that they believe they need to be loyal to in order to be good.

the dark one, only wears black or darker clothes and usually closed off, but loves the light one with their whole heart and just wants to be with them, damn everyone else.

usually the light one inevitably betrays the dark one, and I end up crying.

#ineffable husbands #spirk #ballister x ambrosius #newt x hermann #johnlock #destiel #why am i like this #why do i make myself suffer #ruehob

[they-planet404]

hozier quotes that perfectly suit the ineffable husbands because combining both of my hyperfixations makes my brain go brrrr

“Heaven and Hell were words to me.” - Work Song

Crowley’s insistence that they’re not on Heaven or Hell’s side, they’re on their own side.

Aziraphale’s “I’ll make heaven worthy of Crowley again”, positive he can have both

“The only Heaven I’ll be sent to, is when I’m alone with you.” - Take Me To Church

Crowley’s same as above, Azi isn’t quite there yet, but there’s hope

“If the Heavens ever did speak, she’s the last true mouthpiece.” - Take Me To Church

Crowley’s vendetta against Heaven, that they’re not Good as they claim, but never against Aziraphale, he is the good in the crevice of the world

Aziraphale knowing that Crowley is good, deep down, and it doesn’t matter if they’re an Angel or a Demon because no Bad Person would do the things he does.

“There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin, in the madness and soil of that sad earthy scene, only then I am human, only then I am clean.” - Take Me To Church

They’re a demon and an angel, they’re not supposed to love, consorting with the other side is the fastest way to be punished, and yet their love is holy, their love is the closest thing to humanity that celestial beings are capable of, and their love will cleanse.

“Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips, we can just kiss like real people do.” - Like Real People Do

They are not people, and yet (hopefully), they love just like humans, in every way they are not meant to

“Each day you’d rise with me, know that i would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty… strap the wing to me, death trap clad happily, with melted wax I’d meet the sea under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.” - Sunlight

They would destroy themselves for each other, would willingly go to their deaths for a taste of the sunlight that is each other.

Bonus point for Azi “You rise with me” to Crowley

“Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I.” - Francesca

The Final Fifteen, S2 Ep6. Do I need to continue?

“It ain’t the being alone, it ain’t the empty home baby, you know I’m good on my own, it’s more the being unknown.” - Unknown/Nth

Crowley Isn’t Lonely, until he’s Unknown by Azi, that moment in the finale when he puts his glasses back on, the realisation Aziraphale would give up everything they had built together for Heaven (even if it’s not true), and the misunderstanding trapped between them.

“So I thought you were like an angel to me.”

“Where you were held frozen like an angel to me.”

“Going unknown as any angel to me.” - Unknown/Nth

Their storyline, written in smudged ink on the page. It feels so heartbreakingly obvious that any attempt I made to put it in words would ruin it.

“Do you know I could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, I still carry for you.” - Unknown/Nth

Crowley’s thoughts as he watched Azi enter the lift, making the decision final. He hurt, he aches, and yet the overwhelming love that has only just been realised beats in his chest like a second heart, keeping him alive. The love, and all the heartbreak it brings, may break him.

“That I’d walk so far just to take, the injury of finally knowing you.” - Unknown/Nth

I am under the firm belief that Azi isn’t going to Heaven because he wants to, but so he can protect the earth that birthed his and Crowley’s love. He is walking away from Crowley in London, with the hopes that he can make a Heaven worthy of the Angel he knows Crowley is.

Anyway, that’s my heart breaking.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #hozier #unknown / nth #take me to church #why do i make myself suffer

[vampcubus]

am i really gonna re-do a bunch of tags just cus i want to overhaul my tagging system…

#‧₊🌷˚⊹ ashi rambles #why do i make myself suffer #i want a simpler one with no symbols/emojis cus tumblr doesn’t save them for me #unless i use them everyday #and going back to my notes app to copy and paste them gets annoying

[gay-caveman]

do you think johnny ever showed robby magic tricks when he was a kid? do you think robby was amazed at his card tricks and thought he was actually doing magic? do you think robby tried to learn how to do it himself? do you think johnny saw himself in him?

#oh yeah i hurt myself with this post #why do i make myself suffer #and the headphone parallels ohmygod #they both use it to drown out their parents #sighs turn into agonized sobbing #agonized sobbing turns into death rattle #johnny lawrence #robby keene #cobra kai #karate kid

[radiocreep]

Hi im doing something stupid

#inanimate insanity #ii microphone #unfinished art #why do i make myself suffer

[ebilait]

I have no idea if the exam I have tomorrow is online or in presence normally they have to be in presence but this prof specifically is a bit peculiar and I was too embarrassed to ask him this for some reason??? And now I have to take the train to another city in early morning and might learn it was online all this time once I arrive there

#why do i make myself suffer #whyyyy #personal

[strawberryspence]

people... are asking for an ive got you under my skin epilogue 😭😭😭

#and im tempted to write one #why do i make myself suffer #daerants

[lilorockz]

doing absolutely terribly today feeling like shit and that im never gonna actually have a life that im gonna enjoy so that’s a fun friday night

#why can’t it just be easy #why do i make myself suffer #i hate anxiety so much

[im-boredd-and-tired]

In my hating Netflix for cancelling good shows hours

#why do i make myself sufFeR #third show i qatched despite knowing its latest season was cancelled #i can't stop #awae #the society #ianowt #anymore to add to my collection? #teotfw #shows #im still happy w the ending of teotfw #and atleast awae got 3 seasons:'') #but the other twoT^T #the cliffhangers aaaaaa #my shit #original post

[brauthaalandfc]

my lactose intolerant ass just ate an entire bar of galaxy chocolate and I’m now suffering real bad

#my stomach HURTS #why do I make myself suffer

[nixaxin222]

Everyone knows that French fries were not invented in France, but did you know?

French fries were actually invented by resteraunt-owner John French in the late 19th century Britain, when French, too lazy to mash potatoes, simply cut them into thin cubic prisms, believing them enough. He then boiled them in oil, not water, as French was completely colour-blind, believed to be the reason his resteraunt was infamously awful to look at. Regardless, the resulting creation was unable to be mashed due to its crispiness, and was dubbed a huge success.

However, the French fry would not receive its true name until much later, when American John Fry, seeking to improve upon French’s recipe, took to frying it in oil rather than boiling it, as boiling often resulted in angry oil and burnt food. As John French was British, he never intended to add seasoning to the french fry, and so the fry was known to be bland. Fry rectified this by adding salt, and finally named it the French-Fry, named after both his and John French’s names.

And thus history was changed forever with the invention of the french fry.

#fake history #obviously #french fry was invented in bulgaria #shitpost #shitpost with reasonable effort #why do i make myself suffer #please dont be too offended i know nothing about history

[cutesalamander]

The worst feeling is when you work on a piece for a whole day and you're proud of it, and you decide to do lineart... but now the drawing looks worse than before :|

#art #art problems #beginner artist #artist problems #pain #why do i make myself suffer

[froggiethelesbian]

My emotional attachment to this ant and my subsequent suffering from it is devastating

#why do I make myself suffer

[fleur-dans-la-nuit]

Wally: What are you in the mood for?

Dick: World domination.

Wally: That's an interesting choice…?

Dick: You are my world.

Wally: Aww...

Dick:

Wally:

Dick:

Wally: OH.

#if you know you know #raises eyebrow #why do u know #huh #??? #mhm #that’s sus #omg aint no way I just said sus 😭😭😭 #ignore me please #why am i like this #I make myself suffer #dickwally #dick grayson #richard grayson #wallydick #wally west #birdflash #dc incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

[bluespiritshonour]

here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff. #can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art? #anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable. #I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee! #if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

[trensu]

Have an itty bitty tiny piece of stasis in darkness, just so you all have an idea of where the story is going after the godly reveal. and also have proof that i am, in fact, still toiling away at this (as well as hawkins halfway house.)

A week and a half later, Steve entered a town he’d never seen before. He wore simple traveling clothes and carried no weapons aside from a couple of carefully hidden knives. He’d left his armor and shield behind. His satchel held only the essentials one needed for travel and a single stone as large as his fist. The stone was wrapped in layers of cloth to keep it safe during the journey. 

I need you to find someone. 

He felt very bare but he hadn’t been given much of a choice. Speed was of the essence for his quest, and little no-name towns tended to be wary of strangers in plain clothes, even more so around strangers decked out for battle. Steve wasn’t sure this place could be called a town. It was so small it hadn’t been on any official map. It didn’t even have an inn. Hopefully, Steve wouldn’t be needing an inn once he found who he was looking for.

He’s too far from me to reach.

He asked around, laying on the charm generously. He explained he had been a friend of a friend and had been trusted to deliver something. Eventually, he was told where to go. The house he found far beyond the village’s boundary was small. It looked like it had once been well cared for but it was old and had fallen to disrepair. Steve took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

A sallow old man opened the door. He was bald but had some scruff on his face still. His shoulders, stooped from age, trembled. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked so tired.

He’s my very last worshiper in all the world.

“Wayne Munson?” Steve asked.

“Who wants to know?” The man’s voice was phlegmy and rough. He coughed into the crook of his elbow almost before he could finish speaking. 

“I’m Steve. Ser Steve Harrington, pledged to the Lord of Night.”

Wayne’s eyes widened. His grip on the open door weakened and slipped. Steve caught the door before it could hit Wayne.

“He sent me to you,” Steve explained. “May I come in?”

yep, that's it for now. i told you it was small. i'm not even gonna bother with a read-more here.

#trensu tells stories #stasis in darkness #i technically have another 4.5k words written already #but it is very much still a rough draft #it's all clunky chunks of stone with all that i want to happen but has not been carved and smoothed out properly yet #also i have decided to include at least a couple of prayers #because i hate myself apparently and want to make myself suffer #a poet i am not #and i haven't stepped in a church or said prayers in literal decades #well #that's a lie #i did attend ONE mass in that time only because my mom asked me so she wouldn't have to go alone #the priest went off on the queers during his sermon and my mom never asked me to go with her again lol #so i remember none of the prayers #and even if i did #i learned all my prayers in spanish #i have no idea how they go in english #ughhhhhh why do i do these things to myself