#why did they make the boomer a dilf......why

[nofoundboy]

May I perhaps ask for something with Coach Boomer or Ash (AVED) with a younger trans male reader? It can really be anything you want other than that, fluff, smut, anything. I just want me some dilf/gilf bruce tbh

Love this request 😭😭 I hope you like it

Help

Tw:Kind of angsty, nsfw (mentions of sex and cockwarming). Ash has PTSD

Chest to chest, you felt Ash's breathing rise and fall, trying to calm down and cling to a steady, gentle rhythm that would succeed in calming him.

His hand clung tightly to your hip and his stump rested on your back. He needed to know that you were there, that you were real and that nothing had happened to you.

The sweat on your bodies had begun to fade, replaced by the cold that crept in through the slightly open windows. You wouldn't make the attempt to get up to close them, for with the slightest shake of your head, Ash had further solidified his grip. He needed you.

Until 10 minutes ago, you had both been lost in the ecstasy of your bodies colliding, of wet kisses and raucous moans. It was then that the most horrible memory of his past, specifically, of Linda and what he had to do to save himself, seized him, causing him to come to an immediate halt.

At that moment, his countenance had a deathly appearance. Had it not been for his hands clenching you desperately tight, you would have thought he had lost consciousness.

Now, the only source of warmth you had was your bodies pressed together. He had not left your interior, for the absolute closeness to you was the only thing that prevented him from collapsing completely.

Your body, safe and warm, kept him in this world and in this time, a participant in the details of the now that his past sought so desperately to take from him.

"I'm sorry" you heard him murmur against your skin, his face hidden in your neck.

"Don't apologize. It's weird" you whispered against his hair, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of his head.

Embarrassment for his actions was not a quality Ash possessed, or at least, that he forced himself not to possess, so he understood perfectly why you saw such an action as unusual. You had become so accustomed to not hearing him apologize that this seemed simply anticlimactic.

It didn't matter, he insisted. Only you were able to put up with his bullshit and keep him from going back to his old pathetic routine of running away from those who seriously loved him and going back to one-night stands and his cold bed after sunrise.

"I'm with you, Ash, okay?" you whispered, stroking the back of his neck gently.

A subtle 'mmm' escaped his lips, muffled by the way he pressed his face against your chest.

"You've worn the binder too long" he whispered after a while, noting how reddened your skin was in that area. The heat of the moment consumed you both, too fast and too scorching for you to stop and observe those details, but in the calmness granted by the release of orgasm, you both noticed the irregularities and newness of your bodies. Always.

"I forgot. It won't happen again," your hands fastened on Ash's back muscles, which seemed to relax just a smidgen more at the subtlety of your touch.

"You should be with someone younger. And with someone who isn't a fucking mess" no sooner had he finished saying this than you straightened up a little, with your palms on his chest and looking at him, confused.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life" and you hated it when he said things like that. It just happened, the times when memories flooded him to the point of suppressing his self-esteem and confidence. "I couldn't even imagine myself with anyone but you" you didn't expect that would put the matter to rest, but you did expect it to silence him at least for this one occasion.

Ash hated feeling vulnerable, but he loved and trusted you enough to accept that he was in a bad place, so he didn't push aside his feelings or regain a façade of security, he just stood there, hugging you tightly, not daring to lift his face and look at you. He just wanted to feel that you were completely real, that nothing bad had happened to you, and that he was miles away from that damn cabin.

Several minutes passed, minutes that for Ash might as well have been hours. He pulled away from you slightly, depositing a kiss on your neck.

"Ah…you're better" you sighed, feeling his erection inside you.

He had thought about replying 'thank you to you', for I was indeed grateful for your very existence, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. He wasn't ready to 'be a decent fellow' yet, so he just smiled slyly and, seeking your approval with his gaze, resumed his movements until you both left all concern behind.

#ash williams #ash williams x reader #ash williams x male reader #ash williams x transmasc reader #male reader #transmasc reader #evil dead #ash vs the evil dead

[rodeodeparis]

dni if you think no one likes lemon starbursts, prefer nietzsche over max stirner, think feminine men are weird, refer to online artists/streamers/youtubers/tiktokers as "content creators", see yourself in patrick bateman, have ever had a hamilton phase, think you're not susceptible to being indoctrinated into a cult while having views/morals/values that you hold in high regard, use the word "fetishize" to refer solely to sex or sexuality, care about how people at the met gala are dressed, ignore people you have a problem with instead of talking to them, have read the catcher in the rye on your own time, your sense of humor consists of making "why are all (group of people you legitimately dislike) (broad generalization)" statements, think that you're too deep for most people to understand, get bored by art films with no plot, refer to any online subculture past present or future as "revolutionary", have ever felt resentment against people who did not seem to take squid game seriously due to its political themes, are between the ages of 18-34 and call yourself to be "old", think any of the characters in genshin impact are sexually attractive, stan and/or try to emulate a celebrity, your response to internet privacy concerns is "i'm not worried because i have nothing to hide", like any internet aesthetic that ends in “core” or “academia”, think looking at what corporations are doing is an accurate way of gauging what is socially acceptable, give vague advice about something you're adept at without elaboration and expect other people to understand it, your favorite yakuza protagonist is either majima or tanimura, believe that gatekeeping is always bad regardless of the circumstances, assume that everybody is a part of a friend group, speak with vocal fry, have FOMO, your favorite manga/anime is a popular, long-running shonen series that began in 1995 or later (boku no hero academia, naruto, one piece, demon slayer, etc.), think that "tradition" or "modernity" are inherently good or bad, care about people's tone when they speak, regularly listen to any sort of contemporary cultural commentary podcast, call characters under 30 dilfs/milfs, the first thing that comes to your head when you hear anything about japan is something anime-related, listen to nicole dollanganger or hozier, you have a strong opinion about whether dogs or cats are "better", you learned everything you know about a particular japanese fashion subculture through tiktok, think that people blocking you is an accomplishment, mention having been a gifted kid in grade school a year or more after graduating, like those tops/dresses with corset bodices and poofy off-the-shoulder sleeves, take generation labels (gen z, millennial, boomer, etc) seriously, purposefully got the ferdinand/dorothea ending in fire emblem: three houses, prefer regency over victorian, enjoy musicals, get all your news from social media, only take on things that will help you become a better person for the sake of attracting a sexual/romantic partner, wanderer above the sea of fog by caspar david friedrich is one of your favorite paintings, have a regular substack column with patrons, consider yourself to be "blackpilled", think that scene originated in the early 2000s, are deeply invested in at least one american live action television series (including netflix/amazon/hulu originals) that began airing in 2016 or later, don't read anything that contradicts your viewpoint aside from skimming it to look for things that you think are stupid or harmful, have or are planning to get an undercut, watch political streamers on twitch, respond to genuine criticism with irony, would care if i revealed to you that i've never played a zelda game, pay for netflix/disney+/any other streaming service, or would eat chocolate hummus if given the chance

[probablydinosaurs]

why....why did the sr3 remastered shoot HIM of all characters with a handsome dilf gun???? this boomer ass cishet fucking military man who hates every minority under the sun?????? oh but dane vogal, the ok looking evil ceo from sr2 gets turned into mr. burns in gat out of hell. but oh ya that makes sense /s. both men don't deserve good looks but WHY???? why does he look like a fallout 4 male player character. he’s a grade A++ BOOMER. he doesn't DESERVE a pretty face. 

(adds dane for context)

hell really did a number on ya hu Danial

#im still going to play sr3 remastered bc o shiny but. mmmmm the character redesigns really bug me #why is matt buff.... #why is the stag commander a dilf #also im white so i have little say but i feel like they white watched johnny and angel #like. all the woman look great. shaundi and kenzie are so pretty but the men....why #im scared to make kirk...hes either going to look fucking stunning or a mess. my download is only at #50% atm #why did they make the boomer a dilf......why #idc if dane vogal is a evil ceo who thought kicking out the homeless for rich people apartments would stop gang violence .. #he deserved a glow up #then again he was in HELL so ig that takes years off your eternally dead life #im also bitter that deep silver confirmed no sr news at e3 #so i bought sr3 remaster out of spite...my giving them money #anyway ramble over...im going to mourn over Johnny gats missing cheek bones and matts thic neck #washed* #its 10pm ignore spelling

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x05 Review

The Quinceañero was a truly historic ep featuring the first time two boys have ever kissed on a Disney show. Let’s dig in!

We got the second same-sex kiss in Disney history tonight, Big Shot had the first last Friday, and the first kiss between two boys in Disney history. It’s a huge step forward. That’s not to say that Disney is going to start approving more same-sex kisses or lgbtq relationships or characters but the door is now open and at least some other shows and movies will be able to eventually follow in HSMTMTS steps.

Really nice cover of The Climb, Joe has such a great voice. It was cute that young Seb had watched young Carlos’ dance vid and felt inspired. Frankie and Joe being an irl couple certainly helps give Seblos a good rapport but it also helps that creator and showrunner Tim Federle is an openly gay man himself. I think if a straight man was showrunner we probably wouldn’t get such dedication to Seblos as a couple. 

It was a really funny ep too: Carlos saying his love language is riddles, Ricky asking Nini who they talk to when doing their confessionals, Carlos saying Miss Jenn was a master of smoke and mirrors, Benjamin Mazzara and Mike Bowen interacting. My personal favourite gags were when Big Red said he always wanted a nickname and Kourtney immediately did an office stare and when Nini said Picasso was a terrible person.

Gina still going through it. Kourtney is right that it doesn’t really make sense that Gina is now going to all this trouble for Carlos but to be honest the writing and pacing has been disjointed so far this season so a lot of things aren’t flowing as well as they need to. Is what Gina regrets convincing Ricky to go back on stage as that helped get Rini back together? That’s petty but fair and also true to teenage emotions (though she shouldn’t beat herself up too much, Rini were clearly on the path to getting back together by that point anyway).

Jesus Christ, Ricky needs to read the room. Last ep he correctly realized that Gina wouldn’t want to hear about his Nini issues and tried to stop Big Red from mentioning them but now he’s just doing it himself? Obviously they’re trying to drill in the fact that for now Rina is one sided but it’s a little much. Also really doesn’t make sense that Ricky wouldn’t go to Kourtney or Big Red for this kind of advice.

Sofia Wylie was killing it this ep, both her and Joe are showstoppers. A Dancer’s Heart was great and she did a good job of acting on the verge of tears almost the entire ep

At least EJ actually thought to ask Gina how she’s feeling though and she clearly appreciated it after she got over her shock. It does seem that reports of Portwell’s demise were greatly exaggerated, with the music and the longing stares they’re setting up for at least EJ to have a crush on Gina. Hell even Mazzara picked up on it at the end. I had noted last week that it seemed like Gina’s story line in S2 was being thrown out of balance by the writers dropping a planned Portwell plot and sure enough this week we actually begin to see Gina’s story arc not being entirely her pining over Ricky. 

EJ also benefits by being given something to do instead of just standing around in the back. I’m glad he took Mazzara up on the AV club offer and they have a nice mentor-mentee relationship going on. It’s also a nice little parallel with 1x05 when Gina told off EJ and had a moment with Ricky and now in 2x05 Gina tells off Ricky and has a moment with EJ. 

Matt seemingly dismissed Portwell as a friendship rather than even hinting at something between them. I guess he could have been told to keep it under wraps as much as possible but odd that they wouldn’t hype it a bit; it’s not like this came completely out of left field, people were wondering if Portwell might happen because of the moment they had in 1x10 and the facetime call they had before S2. Sofia has already said that Gina will have love interests this season and EJ being one, even if it’s brief, would make whole lot of sense since there’s really no one else for except Jack who only shows up much later and doesn’t seem to be in more than an ep or two.

Rini was sweet tonight. Yes Ricky is being clingy which stems in large part from his mom’s abandonment and in fairness Ricky and Nini have probably been used to spending much of their time with each other since they were kids. Loved that ‘I think you kinda you know’’ call back tonight. Looks like Nini will be cast as the Rose which should be interesting.

Miss Jenn is pulling Mike Bowen, Ben Mazzara, and Zach Roy. Good for her! Jike shippers certainly feasted tonight as Mike crashed a teen bday party just to see Miss Jenn and we got confirmation that everyone’s fave Disney Dilf was born in the 70s and must be no older than 51.

Well gotta love Lily’s commitment to bringing down East High and drinking scalding hot black coffee. She really seems like she just stepped off the set of Glee

Really hope we see those puppies and man was that wolf adorable

Not both HSMTMTS and Love Victor both making Okay Boomer jokes (it worked when Pilar said it to Felix but not when Ricky said it to his dad)

Big Red exposing Kourtney and Howie was good and it looks like their plot kicks into high gear next ep

Bet Tim thought he was real clever for that shot of Mazzara, Mike, and Miss Jenn in a triangle

A well shot ep except for one weird  and abrupt cut from Mazzara saying Caswell to Seblos outside the barn

Looking Ahead:

EJ stopping Gina from leaving would certainly further their relationship and would parallel him being the one to bring her back in S1. I still don’t get why they didn’t just use the Valentine’s chocolates as a plot device to further this plot; just have EJ secretly send them as he was also lonely and you can still have Gina think they were from Ricky.

From what I’ve seen online this Portwell hint has been controversial. It’s true that there’s an age gap between the characters of 2ish years and a much bigger one between the actors but I don’t think that will stop Tim as he already had EJ date Nini. I’ve also seen comments that it would be a bad idea since EJ is leaving at the end of S2 once he graduates but he’s not actually leaving, they’ll keep him around in some fashion until the current juniors graduate. 

So far it seems like Rini is the Rucas of hsmtmts, Rina is the Lucaya, and Portwell is the Joshaya.

Kowie starts progressing a bit next ep and we may possible see Antoine next week or the week after according to Larry.

Presumably Ricky’s clinginess starts causing trouble between him and Nini.

Still so funny that North High just up and decided to do Beauty and the Beast just to bring down East High.

Until next week wildcats

#HSMTMTS #Seblos #Rini #Portwell #seb matthew smith #Carlos Rodriguez #Gina Porter #EJ Caswell #Ricky Bowen #HSMTMTS Reviews

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

#not shifting #shitpost #out of context #tw cannibalism #tw stealing #tw poison #tw swearing #tw: drugs #tw: smoking #tw: death

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

oh

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

me

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

#lbaf

[mull3ts]

Yes i know it's getting annoying and it's me again 🐱 anon, i'm talkative today because i'm so excited for your upcoming fics😭

I keep talking about getting railed despite not having my first kiss yet, so, how do you think will dilf NCT react to their baby not getting their first kiss yet? Hehehehehehehe

bReAthe iN bReAtHe oUt youre gonna live 😎 but lEtS gEddiT 😌

dilf nct vs first kisses

Mr. Moon Taeil

finds it lowkey understandable

and then proceeds to debate whether or not he should snAtch your first kiss

he decides not to as of right now bcs he's like-

"eH idk how'd they feel abt getting a first kiss from a bOoMer"

he'd snatch it tho after drinking a wine bottle tho 👀🍷

Mr. Johnny Seo

would snatch it immediately

tHis mAn would waste no time to smooch you 😌

it didnt matter whEre you told him that you'd never had your first kiss unless it was infront of your dad or his son

he'd smOOch you and make sure to smOOch you every time yall did the dirty 😏🍷

Mr. Lee Taeyong

He would sit there like 👁👄👁🍷 hUh?

he would nOt understand why no one has made a move to kiss you yet when you sit there looking pretty for nO rEasOn 😤

so ofc he'd steal your first kiss 😌

but unlike johnny he wouldn't smOOch you in a ✨dirty smexi✨ way

it's like ✨nice and whEE✨ kinda thing

Mr. Nakamoto Yuta

He would nearly spit out his wine :0

Yuta would be reAL dramatic abt this so he'd yeet your neck and then smooch you

please expect your lips to be swollen ;D

Mr. Qian Kun

Mr. kUn oVer hErE would be a mixture of taeyong and taeil bcs he's reasonable like dat 😌🍷

He'd specifically plan a date to kiss you like you were his highschool crush or smth and bOOm

kiss is snAtChed 😌

Mr. Kim Doyoung

would stand there like a kunfused dilf bunny

like- 👁👄👁🍷 but then roll his eyes bcs thats the kinda guy he is 😌

he'd make you get up to kiss him but then realize you're too short- ahA

it's not like that matters to him tho he'd still kiss you and smooch you and toTaLLy not smack dat ass- 😌✋

chile, anyways so-

Mr. Jung Jaehyun

he's kiss you right then and there

he's all about making sure youre his and only his 😌

but then he'd think abt his actions and still not regretting taking your first kiss

much like johnny tho he'd kiss you during the dirty 😏

Mr. Lucas Wong

would literally make the sound "eH?"

give him a second to process this information bcs much like taeyong he thinks you're the prettiest person he's ever seen plus wHy hAsnT anYoNe giVeN hiS bAbY a kiSs bEfOre?

in a summary he doesnt sexi kiss you its like a rEaL first kiss kinda kiss ya kno? 😌

Mr. Mark Lee

Dilf Mark is a bold and confident mf

siMiLar to yuta he'd yeet your neck and bOOm ✨kiss✨

on the inside tho he'd constantly question why has no one kissed you yet 👀

Mr. Hendery Wong

"aha, what? :D🍷" is what he'd look like

but honestly being ✨reasonable✨ he'd have a nice friendly sit down convo with you if you rlly want him to be your first kiss

coz sis hE kNows he's kinda old 👀

Mr. Lee Jeno

in a summary he'd look at you like this:

you may understand it anyway you'd like 👀🍷hehehehehehehehhehehehe

Mr. Lee Donghyuck

would endlessly tease you about it

he'd be like "oH so my son doesn't like you, hmm." 😏🍷

he'll snatch it dw ;))

he might pay his son not to tell his wife what he saw but hUsh hUsh

Mr. Na Jaemin

would immediately be shocked :0

then babie you about it

but then realize how old he might be

expect a whirlwind of emotions from him 😌 he'll kiss you tho just give him a sec

#ask #anon #🐱 anon #nct smut #nct dilf

[rapturesyncrit]

salty tears of the pure heart

hi! this is mod akechi! i made the fanfic, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it, thank you!

Dama was driven to see his lover again, renting a shady-looking taxi off the corner street in high hopes to hold his hand once again. Dressed from head to toe in a gorgeous suit while carrying a large grocery bag filled with something, the wondrous demon deity of the Five Planes kicked his bare feet against the driver’s chair and pulled out a note inscribed with the destined location to hand it over to him.

He growled in the low octaves, staying stern. “To this location, please. I have a sexy man to meet.” 

The driver glanced back behind him to the irritated demon, reading the street name and then smiled. “You’re going on a da ---”

“DRIVE.”

The metropolis streets were bustling during the late night and evenings, filled to the brim with the distracting urban noises that distracted everyone from the skeevy, yet enjoyable atmosphere that surrounded the district. A pleasant tune played through the radio speakers, something about running away from this tainted love --- it reminded Dama of an ex, someone that he broke up with due to being infatuated with a famous celebrity known by Kentaro. 

Kentaro.

The name pissed him off so bad that Dama broke a window with his bare fest and sent thunder down from the skies, smiting some poor innocent fool that was busy making a Tiktok. He simmered down afterwards, unaware of the taxi driver’s frantic face at who he’s been driving for, nonetheless, it was a long ride into the city outskirts that’d definitely promise a larger compensation for the three boring hours that practically wrote itself. Once the car had stopped at its destination, Dama opened the door from the right and stepped out, ignoring his driver’s screams about “WHAT THE FUCK, THIS IS A CHUCK E CHEESE!!!!!”

Without paying, the macabre demon opened the door to absolutely fucking nothing, it was practically abandoned by the city to be unfunded and left to rot due to age. This was a bonafide, authentic 1977’s Chuck E Cheese where the untouched prize counter reigned supreme. Dama was a nocturnal being, however he would prefer staying in dim lighting instead of pure darkness. He reached his clawed hand out for the lightswitch, powering the building on and to his surprise, not most of the lights turned on due to how dead this Chuck E Cheese’s was. Dama wrinkled his nose at the ripped-out carpet, walking on over to the main stage to see Takumi, wearing a single coned birthday hat without appearing amused in the slightest. 

Dama walked over to the long table and to Takumi’s side, dropping the bag and revealing the giant birthday cake he bought at Walmart that absolutely wasn’t expired and was freshly baked. “Happy Birthday. It took me a while to find a good cake, but I hope you like it, you downright handsome mortal. It’s even your favorite flavor, vanilla.”

Vanilla wasn’t Takumi’s favorite flavor.

Takumi stared down at the cake, blowing the stupid little kazoo that rested on his lips and slapped his cake off, flinging it down onto the floor. “Dama, what the fuck? This wasn’t what I asked for, I didn’t want a fucking vanilla cake, that’s not even my favorite flavor. It’s Mountain Dew, try a-fucking-gain!”

The goth crossed his arms, clearly pissed off as he leaned down on his dinky plastic chair and rested his legs on the table. Of course, Dama would get his favorite flavor wrong, but he didn’t mean to. 

Dama glanced at Takumi, eyes watering up before he sniffled and kissed him on the cheek. “Apologies, I didn’t think it wasn’t your favorite. You never told me. But, I’m glad that we’re here for each other tonight, together, in this lonely decrepit pizzeria.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure.” Takumi huffed, “Besides, you told me to come here for the party. What party? Last time I checked, there’s nobody here but US.”

“Just us.”, he sneered. “Do you want to know what’s special about this pizzeria?”

“What?”

“It’s ancient, I took Paschar here ever since he was a little baby. Soon enough, he’ll be your step-son and you’ll have to deal with him soon.” Dama snickered, sitting down in a chair and using his deity-based powers to summon another cake, this time it was Mountain Dew-flavored upon request. He conjured up some Monster as well, taking a sip and feeling like a boomer from the 50’s. “You did call me a DILF the first time we met.”

“No, I didn’t.”, Takumi remarked and pulled his cake closer, staring at his star-crossed lover that could certainly demolish an entire world and manipulate space/time itself. “You’re not a DILF and never will be. You’re pretty hot, I won’t lie about that. Remember when you kissed me during the Second World Apocalypse? That was so sexy.”

Suddenly, the lights flickered and turned off to cause the place to stay in complete darkness and a slight whirring could be heard behind them.

“What the fuck?”, they both said in unison, and they turned around to see…

Oh no.

It was…

Absolutely fucking nothing.

Dama snorted, “Did you think Freddy Fazbear was coming? It’s only midnight.”

“No.”, Takumi stood up and pulled himself up to the stage, smacking Charles Entertainment Cheese’s disgusting looking animatronic face to ultimately behead the machinery. “Are you fucking scared? These things aren’t coming to life, they’re robots.”

Dama tapped his muzzle, “You’re right, why would they ever? We aren’t employed to work here, in fact… I’m here to work for you.”

Getting onto the stage, Dama pulled Takumi into a deep kiss that lasted for the rest of the night as they ate cake together and threw molotov cocktails at Basil’s windows.

The End.

#mod akechi #fanfiction #rapture syndrome #takumi x dama #damakumi