#why did I have to get so attached to a rescue hen

[diazbuckleydreamer]

The Prize for Bad Behavior

Chapter 1: What are you going to do about it?

“I know why he’s acting like this. I just don’t know what to do about it.” Eddie sat across the glossed over wood bar table from Tommy. His pint glass hadn’t left his hand for more than a few seconds since the waitress set it down in front of him ten minutes ago and he looked more annoyed than Tommy had yet to see him. They’d just finished up the pick up game on the west side. A game they had easily dominated. They should be in a great mood. But their happiness over the game was being greatly overshadowed by the nasty attitude they’d both been on the receiving end of from Eddie’s best friend.

“You do?” Tommy questioned his eyebrow raising enough that he could feel the pull on his face. Still clearly irritated, Eddie gulped down more beer before coming up for air. His face twisted up into a scowl.

“Of course I do! I know Buck as well as I know myself.”

Tommy had no doubt about that. One of the very first things that Tommy had picked up on when Eddie and him began hanging out, was that he and Evan were attached at the hip. But Eddie’s own admission, the two were each other’s everything. And what Tommy didn’t understand, was how neither man had figured out that everything meant madly in love. He’d seen it a million times in his life. It was a common thing especially among gays. Two people who were best friends, trying so hard to convince themselves that’s all it was. But Tommy had a suspicion that in this case, the two men truly had no idea.

“He’s jealous!” Eddie’s words had Tommy pausing, glass halfway to his mouth as he looked over the table. For a moment, the words had made Tommy believe he’d been wrong, and that at least Eddie was aware of the feelings between them. But a quick assessment of the younger man’s face showed nothing more than surface level irritation.

“What could he have to be jealous of?” He asked, moving to drink his beer. Hoping that the move would hide his interest in the subject, which he was sure was obvious on his face.

Tommy wasn’t entirely sure where his interest lied at that point. There was a moment after the cruise ship rescue, where Evan had looked at Tommy with so much love and happiness and appreciation in his gorgeous blue eyes, that Tommy had sworn Evan was attracted to him. It was a thought that Tommy had felt was confirmed when Evan had gone to Hen to get his number before calling him up and asking him for a tour of the Air Support Hangar. But ever since that day, it had seemed like Tommy had been way off track. Evan hadn’t reached out at all. Not even bothering to reply when Tommy had sent him a text asking if he’d enjoyed his tour. What was more, the basketball game had been the first time Tommy had seen the adorable firefighter since that day, and he’d acted like both Eddie and Tommy were bugs on the bottom of his shoe.

And then, there was Eddie. Tommy couldn’t deny that the man was a knockout. He was hot, a ton of fun to be around, they shared a lot of interests and genuinely just enjoyed each other’s company. Tommy couldn’t deny he was excited every time he knew they were going to be hanging out. It felt just the same giddiness he had with past romantic partners. But despite the fact that Eddie had a tendency to flirt seemingly without realizing it, and a late night admission that he took the path in life he did solely because it had been what was expected of him, Tommy still hadn’t gotten solid indication that Eddie would be open to him making a move. So, he hadn’t.

Tommy watched the irritation melt off Eddie’s face at his question. It was replaced by a look of mourning. Eddie sighed. “He gets insecure.” He told him. It was the last thing Tommy had expected him to say.

“Insecure?” He parroted. “He’s good looking, sweet, from what I hear he’s a damn good firefighter. What is it he’s insecure about? I mean, clearly he knows he can’t be replaced. Especially not in your life.”

Eddie thought it over for a moment, the sad look on his face deepening. “He doesn’t know that.” His friend’s sexy brown eyes met his expectant gaze for a long moment, drilling in the overwhelming truth in what he’d just said, before flicking down to the table. “There’s a long and really messed up story behind it. But Buck doesn’t believe he’s enough…for anyone. I’ve tried so hard over the years to convince him otherwise. And he’s a lot better than he used to be, but-”

“Let me guess, but when it comes to you and your friendship, his jealousy is easily spiked.” Eddie’s attention snapped back up to him, disbelief clouding his eyes.

“Yeah. How’d you know that?” This was one of those moments, where Eddie spoke to him in a way as adoring as Buck’s gaze after the rescue. It made Tommy’s stomach drop a little. Like when the helicopter caught a slight down draft. Noticeable but not overwhelming.

“Because people are unreasonably protective over the things they love the most.” Tommy answered lightly. He knew that after only knowing these two men for a couple of weeks, that it wasn’t his place to interfere. Especially after Evan and Eddie had been tap dancing around the subject for years. But as a man who finally felt comfortable in himself and his sexuality, he couldn’t let two men who were clearly head over heels for each other, miss their opportunity because they refused to see it. If there was one thing that Tommy could do as Eddie’s friend, it’d be to lay this out for him.

Surprisingly, Eddie didn’t some much as a blink at Tommy’s words. A knowing expression pressed his features. “I know that better than anyone.” He muttered more to himself than his friend. “That’s why I’ve never told him that I want to be with him.”

When Eddie finally got the courage to meet Tommy’s eyes, it took a moment for him to actually see the smirk being offered his way.

“You knew?” He questioned. Tommy couldn’t help but laugh.

“Of course I knew. I mean, it’s pretty obvious-well, to everyone but you two apparently.” Eddie’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, giving Tommy the chance to compose himself. With a sigh of resignation, he threw caution and common sense to the wind. “Why do you think I didn’t ask you out on a real date?”

Eddie’s jaw snapped shut, his brows pressing together in confusion as he assessed the man across from him. Tommy knew he was questioning whether or not it was a joke, so Tommy met his gaze head on. “You wanted to ask me out?” Eddie finally asked. His tone not just level, but even holding the tiniest bit of teasing. Tommy’s stomach dipped again.

“Of course I did!” Tommy threw back playfully. “Come on Diaz, you’re a good looking dude. And a shit ton of fun to hang out with. Why wouldn’t I be attracted to you?”

Eddie let out an exhale that sounded a lot like a laugh from where Tommy was sitting. “Damn. And here I thought you kind of had a thing for Buck. I mean, I saw the way you were looking at him on the boat.”

Tommy’s teeth sank into his bottom lip. “I am.” He admitted before shaking his head. “Well, I was. But, you and I both saw how much he despises me.” His words took on a regretful tone that sobered both men a little.

Tommy wished he and Eddie would keep playing around and joking. In another world, Tommy would take this and run with it. He’d flirt, buy Eddie a drink or two. They’d hang out, hit it off, and maybe if Tommy were lucky, he’d be lucky enough to score a kiss before getting in his car and driving home.

But this wasn’t that world.

In this world, whether it was a stated thing or not, Eddie belonged to Evan. Tommy would respect that dynamic. Even though he’d admitted his feelings for Eddie, and Evan for that matter, he knew he wouldn’t act on it. Because he’d already gotten in between the two men more than he should have.

“He doesn’t despise you.” Eddie argued. “He just doesn’t know you. All he knows is that I keep hanging out with you instead of him.”

“Why do you?” The words flew out of Tommy’s mouth before he could stop them.

Eddie polished off his drink before responding. “Because I like you too.” He admitted. “And…the truth is it’s getting hard to be around Buck and ignore how I feel.”

Having the hot guy you're hanging out with pine over another man right after saying he likes you normally wouldn’t go over very well. But for some reason, Tommy actually felt honored that he’d been looped into the same statement as Eddie’s love for Evan. It somehow told him that Eddie was really into him.

“So, just tell him how you feel.” Tommy offered before downing the rest of his drink. “I know you think it’ll ruin things, but it won’t. I know it isn’t my place, but if the shit that went down on the court today says anything, it’s that he feels the same way.”

“You know, I was thinking the same thing. But I couldn’t bring myself to address it after his behavior. I don’t want him thinking that he can get his way by throwing a temper tantrum.” Timmy couldn’t help but laugh, loud and hearty at the statement.

“I can get behind that.” He said finally.

A look of pure astonishment lit Eddie’s face suddenly. “I’ve got it!” He told Tommy as he flagged down their waitress. Tommy did nothing to hide the curiosity and confusion on his face.

“What?”

Eddie handed the waitress a twenty to cover their drinks and told her to keep the change before pushing out of his chair. “Buck keeps forgetting, I’m a dad. I know how to handle a kid having a fit. I know how to give him what we both want while punishing him at the same time, but I need your help. You game?”

The mischief in Eddie’s eyes was something he hadn’t seen since the night of the rescue and it turned Tommy on to no end. Standing, he stepped around the table and up to Eddie. “I don’t know where you’re going with this. But I’m in.”

#buddie #eddie diaz #911 abc #evan buckley #911 #buckley diaz family #buck/eddie #911 fanfic #keep tommy! #buck x tommy #eddie diaz x tommy kinard #buck x tommy x eddie

[as-is-above-so-below]

Always

Stemmed from that one Young Justice scene (and the plethora of fanart from it) with Jason and Baby Damian :)

warnings: violence, mentions of death

summary: Damian is injured while the team rescues Bruce from the League

“Nngh…Baba…”

“I’m here, Damian. I’m here.”

Jason isn’t entirely sure what went wrong or when. 

Well, that’s not entirely true. He had some idea, not that it mattered now. 

It was fucking idiotic to think they could just walk into the League of Assassins to rescue Bruce, and he said as much beforehand. But nobody ever listened to Jason, especially if Damian contradicted his opinions (which he obviously did, in this case). 

Dick, Tim, Luke, Kate, and Jason all sustained a handful of injuries during their rescue attempt, wrapped in gauze with various creams and ointments on cuts, bullet wounds, and burns. Bruce had gone through quite the ordeal with Talia attempting to reprogram him, but Jason could share dozens of first-hand experiences where Batman had endured worse wounds.

The clusterfuck of battered and bruised vigilantes hovering around the Batcave’s infirmary, waiting for Damian to wake up, was evidence of the hypothesis Jason had kept to himself the day before. They all knew Damian so well, yet not at all.

“We cannot wait. Who knows how much time Father has left in Mother’s hands? We do not know her agenda.”

“Listen, demon brat, I know you’re worried, but you know just as well as I do that we’d be walking into a death trap without a plan. He could be dead already, for all we know.”

“Exactly, which is why this discussion is a waste of resources. And I am not worried; the plan is to get in, and out. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Their siblings never seemed to recall that Damian – in addition to being a trained assassin with a body count in the high hundreds (if not thousands) and having the intellects of an al Ghul and a Wayne ingrained in a DNA – was also a child; a scared one, at that.

They wouldn’t recognize that in the kid’s stoic, controlled features. A mask, another layer underneath his Robin and Damian Wayne personas.

That’s what they were, after all. Personas. 

Damian caught the brunt of it when his mother expressed her displeasure at his ‘regression’. In her opinion, he had grown soft, too attached to his father and siblings. He vividly remembered Damian’s extensive training and education, starting before he could even walk. 

He was dropped into the Lazarus Pit shortly after Damian’s birth and regained his memories. From then on, Jason had made it his mission to do everything in his power to keep the small, green-eyed creature (who looked so much like their father) safe for as long as time would allow. He took many an arrow and blade during his time at the League, training and ‘helping’ Talia raise his newborn brother.

When they weren’t training, Jason told him fairytales he had read as a kid. Ra’s caught them once and punished Jason severely for introducing such ‘childish stories’ to the heir of the demon’s head. His adventures as Robin were a common topic – anything that would help preserve any innocence Damian had. He bandaged his wounds the same way Dick had after patrol; cross-legged, their knees touching as he dabbed antiseptic on his wounds and told him how well he had done, despite Ra’s comments about his weak technique. 

After a particularly rough day, when five-year-old Damian finished yanking pointed arrows from his back and shoulders, he wrapped a thin strip of leather around Jason’s dominant wrist.

“It’s the same leather from my necklace,” he had said, his chubby face lacking the wide smile a child that age should have. “So we match.”

Jason wore it to this day, only removing it for showers and patrol.

While Jason may not have been as touchy as Dick, with his kisses, snuggles, and constant fussing (also known as being a mother hen), he was no stranger to a gentle, guiding touch, a comforting hug, a reassuring hand to the top of Damian’s head. He couldn’t bring himself to replicate the love his older brother had instilled in him, but he tried his best.

Still, the affectionate little boy was slowly, painfully whittled away, until only a tiny piece of him was left, buried deep within.

The day Jason watched Damian execute his favorite teacher, the tutor that had been with him since birth, without blinking an eye, was the day he swore that he would get him out.

Even if it meant losing his life. Again.

Then they returned to that very place and Jason’s worst fear came true.

“Mother, don’t make me kill you!”

His attempt to dissuade her allowed Talia to lunge at him. Damian twisted to parry the attack, but she changed course at the last second–

And her Kitana ran him through.

“As if you could.”

Jason immediately abandoned Bruce’s code at Damian’s scream, ending his opponent with a bullet through their skull. He whipped around just in time to see Talia drag her sword from her son’s side, coated in his blood. Behind his mask, his eyes blue wide, and he almost lost his stomach right there.

“DAMIAN!”

Pressed into a corner with his own voice roaring in his ears, Jason snapped back to reality, his body rigid at the sound Damian made. The boy had whined when Bruce touched his hair, an “undignified” sound he would say if he were in the right state of mind. Damian shook his head with a sharp hiss, struggling to sit up, his skull pounding. He kept his sensitive eyes tightly shut, the burning light from the fluorescents of the medical bay making his headache worse.

Kate and Luke decided to return home but were replaced by Barbara, Stephanie, Cassandra, and Alfred. Bruce removed his hand but still looked down at his son, confused, thick brows knitted together. Damian was unwell and injured, yes, but he had no head injuries that would make him delusional. He quickly turned to Alfred, about to have him administer more tests–

Jason unglued himself from the wall, let his arms fall from his chest, then scratched the short hair at the nape of his neck. He approached the hospital bed, slipping by his siblings and moving to the opposite side as Bruce. Dick was especially confused, watching his first not-so-little brother with his head titled and questioning eyes. Bruce’s expression was unreadable, while Alfred’s was almost knowing.

Damian visibly softened when Jason grazed the back of his hand and gripped Jason’s for dear life, eyes still closed. “Baba…” he groaned and tugged with what little strength he had left. Their expressions quickly turned to shock, save for Bruce and Alfred.

“Sh-She tried to kill…me,” Damian croaked, still reverting to his native tongue. Jason threw a sharp look at all the surprised faces in the room, urging them to leave with a nasty glare. Damian would never let anyone, let alone the whole family see him so distraught, devastated – broken, if he were himself.

When people started to apprehensively file out, Jason finally allowed Damian to pull him into the bed. He carefully avoided the bandages, bruises, and plastic cast on his wrist as best he could. He looked to Alfred, who gave him the ‘all clear’ before moving his fragile body into his lap, shielding him with his arms as the stragglers continued to stare. Bruce included.

“Get. Out.” It came more as growl than speech, his voice low and gravely.

Finally, Dick gently guided Bruce out of the room.

Violent sobs wracked through Damian’s little body as Jason held him, rubbing small circles into his skin with his big, calloused hand. “I know, kid. I know.”

.

.

.

Copyright © 2023 as-is-above-so-below. All rights reserved.

#jason todd #damian wayne #jason todd fic #young justice #father figure jason todd #big brother jason todd #little brother damian wayne #baby damian wayne #baby!damian #hbo bring back young justice #father son relationship #i love them :)

[giya-goates]

I posted 302 times in 2022

That's 302 more posts than 2021!

27 posts created (9%)

275 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@beardedllamaoafwombat

@pajamamen

@strangermask

@pillowdrawz

@mushtoons

I tagged 179 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#ninjago - 117 posts

#kai smith - 61 posts

#lego ninjago - 51 posts

#ninjago kai - 47 posts

#kai ninjago - 46 posts

#cole brookstone - 32 posts

#lloyd garmadon - 27 posts

#nya smith - 26 posts

#ninjago nya - 26 posts

#rottmnt - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#they'd probably find a whole box of knock off vhs movies and childhood nostalgia is not gonna change their minds on how much they love them

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

More things for dragon smiths au

They all molt. That's it

When it happens, as a kid kai would run Nya a bath and help by just gently rubbing on the scales. He wouldn't let Nya help him tho

When their parents were back ray was super excited about helping them with it

Ray treats close friends like family and is just as clingy

Kai has really good hearing, Nya has really good sight, and ray has really good smell

Sensei Wu was the one to help the sibs with learning about their ancestory to help them

When Kai was a baby, Maya would pet his hair and feel his lil horns starting and making him do lil purrs

When Nya found Kai's old scales in the bathroom when he finished molting she thought they were such a pretty shade of red that she claimed it her favorite colour (it did end up being her favorite)

Kai unintentionally calls Nya "hatchling"sometimes. In turn Nya calls him mom when he does

Ray and Maya thought this hilarious and adorable when they first heard it

Nya uses her old scales as reinforcement for her inventions, same with Kai's scales

Just like in httyd, they ALL dispise eels, when they see one they hiss and back away. They need someone else to get rid of it.

That's all for now

92 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

#4

Ok so, I'm rewatching Ninjago for like, the eighth time and I just got back to season four but during Zane's funeral thing I saw something

Looks normal right? Look behind Wu

Why tf is his mouth so high up on his face 😂

94 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#3

I made more

You bet that if kai saw a child on their own in Ignacia and he didn't know their parents he would go mother hen and help them the whole damn day sometimes longer if needed

Kai is insecure of his big pointy ears and how expressive they are but the others, especially Cole, thinks its adorable

Like my last post, Kai has really good hearing making him a light sleeper so when he moved into the monastery, he would drag Jay to bed bc he was up late

Nya is extremely flexible, kai is too just not to nyas extent

Both being unaffected by fire, ray does tiny puffs of fire at them to make them laugh as kids and as adults

They all have longer life spans. Like if they aren't killed they are going to live to at least 1000 years. And that's with having human ancestors

Kai, after basically becoming Nyas parent, he now calls her "hatchling" and when he got attached to Lloyd that's what he calls him as well

Kai gets the best gossip from the teams dragons in the early season and uses it as balckmail

I might write a short oneshot but please tell me what time and kind it should be ( like what season) also I'm not very good at writing so go easy on me

99 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

#2

I want to write about an au where the Smith family from rays side are somehow related to dragons.

Like imagine, the others are meeting kai for the first time and when that first see him they think nothing of it. But later on when everyone is calmed down l, they notice how sharp his teeth are and how pointy his ears are.

When they first saw his hair they all thought it was ridiculous, but then Jay, not caring about staring, notices the lil points it seems to be hiding.

Then later when they rescue Nya, since her hair isn't up, they see her horns witch are growing into a blue gradient slowly.

The Smith sibs don't know about their heritage and just assumed to hide it as much as possible.

WITH THEM BEING PART DRAGON that would make more sense as to why kai would like them more; they can communicate with eachother.

I don't know what else to add for now but I'll figure out how to turn on my asks

125 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I've decided to contribute with this dumb turtle thing I found today

395 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Still thinking about the fact that the line that Eddie cut in Eddie begins was a yellow line, and that bucks burnt through one the very next episode was also a yellow line made me wonder about all the rope rescues on the show. So me being adhd decided to hyperfixate and take a look at them all to see if any themes emerged! I’ve listed all the rope rescues below (with the exception of Eddies helicopter rescue from treasure hunt because that was a heli winch so was a metal rope rather than a climbing rope!)

S1e2 - Buck, black rope - angry boyfriend jump threat

S1e3 - Buck, Hen, Bobby - black ropes - bouncy house

S1e5 - Buck - black rope - Indian wedding

S1e9 - Buck and Hen - black ropes +red rope. Lift rescue

S2e2 - Buck and Eddie - black rope white rope- earthquake

S2e7 - Buck, Eddie - black ropes - skeleton find

S2e8 - Buck - black rope - see me Norman

S2e14 - Eddie - black rope - Alex house rescue

S3e3 - Eddie - black ropes - Ferris wheel

S3e4 - Chim, Lena- black ropes - car over cliff

S3e11 - Buck, Eddie - black ropes - airplane top of fire truck

S3e15 - Eddie, Chim - e=yellow c= red - well rescue

S3e16 - Buck - yellow rope - Gladys rescue

S3e18 - Buck - carrying red but not used, uses black rope - train car rescue

S4e1 - Buck - yellow rope - bus rescue

S4e2 - Chim, Buck - yellow ropes - chimney baby&mum rescue

S4e12 - Buck - yellow rope - septic tank rescue

S4e13 - Eddie - red rope - Sheila balcony rescue

S4e14 - Buck - red rope - crane rescue

The first thing I did was to see if there might be a professional reason for different colours of rope being used, such as thickness or what weight they can take and there really doesn’t seem to be - the type of rope they use comes in a variety of colours and all climbing ropes are designed to take a minimum weight. The only reason for them using different colour ropes might be a length thing - to make them easier to identify on the truck, but other than that the colour doesn’t seem to have any significance.

S1&2 - 4 rope rescues in each

S3&4 - 6 rope rescues in each

S5 - none as yet! (I’m not including the helicopter stuff from e2 because using a fire hose is not a rope 😂)

This is interesting because in seasons 1&2 they only used black ropes and they continued to do so in season 3 until Eddie begins and from then on they’ve only used yellow and red ropes (1 red rope was used in s1e9 - but only for equipment drop into lift!) except for Buck who has used black ropes, but only after carrying a red rope. In fact other than the train carriage rescue from the end of season 3 they seem to have switched to using coloured ropes - either yellow or red! The most interesting thing for me is that they’ve sort of gone from using black to yellow to red. The only exceptions (which are interesting) are Chimney in the well rescue (just before the well collapses) and the ones Buck carries, but doesn’t use in the train derailment and isn’t directly attached to in the crane rescue.

The fact that Eddie is using a red rope just before he gets shot is interesting to me - a bit like the fact Chimneys using a red rope just before the well collapse - red = danger perhaps - and because Buck doesn’t use it isn’t directly attached to the red ropes he Carrie’s, he avoids the danger? 🤷🏻‍♀️

The only ropes to be cut/ burnt through are yellow ones - Eddie’s and Bucks and like I’ve said - yellow = communication. Eddie isn’t used a yellow rope since he cut his, (and proceeded to change his will but not communicate it with anyone!). Meanwhile Buck has, many times, including when he and Chim have a conversation about why he hasn’t returned home to Maddie! However we haven’t seen him use a yellow rope since he’s found out about the will and he’s not really communicating at the moment so it’s going to be interesting to see what colour ropes they use for the next rope rescues we see!

I mean it could all mean absolutely nothing, but I do think it’s a bit weird that they’ve suddenly started changing the rope colours without any obvious reason to do so!

#colour theory #rope rescues #my adhd brain won’t let it go #adhd things #911 on fox #911 fox #eddie diaz #911onfox #evan buckley #buck #eddie #buddie #meta #rope theory #911 speculation

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

I Can Feel the Magic Floating In the Air

For @tropetember day 7: mutual pining Fandom: 911 Pairing: Buck x Eddie, other canon relationships Word Count for this chapter: 1,810 Notes: This is a three part chapter story with each chapter a different prompt for tropetember each chapter will be posted on the other dates and the rating will rise in the third chapter. Also there is minor Eddie/Ana.  Summary: With a distance growing between him and Eddie since Eddie started dating Ana Buck finds himself growing closer to Josh. When Josh admits to him that he hasn't tried dating since that horrible night Buck decides to introduce Josh to an ex that he remained friends with. Buck just would like to know why Eddie is acting like a jealous and possessive ex-husband when he talks about Henry. You can also read it on AO3

There was a distance between him and Eddie ever since Eddie had begun dating Ana. Most of the time Buck didn't recognize the man his best friend was. It was like Eddie was playing the part of Edmundo, Ana's perfect version of what she wants Eddie to be. He missed his Eddie. Not that Eddie was his and he had any claim to him but he still didn't like Ana's Edmundo.

Buck was doing his best to put aside and enjoying the time that he did have with Eddie and Christopher, which had dwindled down, even their movie nights which were once every Friday were now once a month. And sure it hurt when Eddie would call him to babysit Christopher, not that he didn't love spending time with his favourite Diaz, he just wishes that Eddie would call him for other reasons, even if it was just to hang out.

Then Ana started showing up on the few times that Buck had with Eddie and Christopher. He hadn't been the only one who had been disappointed in Ana's "surprise" visit as Christopher looked so downhearted before excusing himself to go play Legos in his room.

"You want to come Buck?" Christopher asked him with a soft smile on his face.

Buck's heart melted at that smile, "I will join you in a moment bud, why don't you get them picked out for us first and we will make something so epic that Karen and Michael will be so impressed that they will once again fight over who you take after more Karen or Michael." Buck suggested.

A series of giggles escaped Christopher as he recalled the science project that Buck had helped him create that wowed everyone that Karen and Michael had ended up in a heated debt about, Hen and David both informed them all that they were still arguing over whose footsteps Christopher should follow.

Watching Christopher leave the living room Buck didn't know why he stayed behind he didn't need to watch Ana drape herself all over Eddie, laying her claim that Eddie is hers.

"So Buck, do you think you can watch Christopher for Eddie and me this weekend? We wanted to have some grown-up alone time together." Ana asked in a sickeningly sweet voice as she stared at Buck with an expected look in her eyes like all she saw was an on-call babysitter and not someone who was woven so deeply into the Diaz family that he was considered family.

Glancing at Eddie he saw a surprised look in his best friend's eyes but Eddie made no move to correct her. Buck could understand Ana was perfect, his parents would love her and finally show him the approval he craves, the same that Buck craves from his parents only he would never get it while Eddie would as long as he twisted and turned himself into Edmundo.

Buck couldn't do this, he loves Christopher and he loves Eddie but he can't be downgraded to just a babysitter for them. He wouldn't survive it. With a heavy heart he put on a mask, "I'm so sorry Ana. I can't. I have plans with Josh this weekend. I'm sure that you can find someone else on short notice to babysit or did you ask me because you think I have no life and no one waiting for me at home that I am always free?" Buck asked in a pleasant tone.

Something unpleasant grew in Eddie's chest at Buck's response to Ana's question. He had asked not to say anything to Buck. He hadn't even agreed to go away this weekend with her. It was the first one he had off in a while and he had hoped to spend it with his son, who had been a champ about letting Ana spend more time with them when it was clear that he was missing Buck. As he was. He wanted to spend this weekend with Christopher and Buck, his boys, he hadn't made any plans with Ana and he hated how she seemed to disregard his feelings and thoughts and go ahead with what she wanted.

"Your spending the weekend with Josh?" Eddie didn't like that. What he has heard from Buck, Chimney and Maddie Josh is a nice guy but the idea of Buck spending time with another guy rubbed him the wrong way.

"Yep, Josh got a dog and he wanted to get her settled before introducing her to people. She is a rescue and came from an abusive owner. I can't wait to meet her." Buck's eyes were sparkling. Pulling out his phone he pulled up a picture of a sweet-looking brown with white on her underbelly pitbull smiling as happily wearing a flower crown. "Isn't she the sweetest thing? To think that anyone could hurt her, people can be monsters."

The sudden urge to hug Buck over took Eddie and the only reason he couldn't was the hold Ana had on him. "She looks adorable what is her name?"

"Adora." Buck happily told Eddie, "Named after the Princess of Power herself. Given everything she has gone through Josh thought she needed a strong and beautiful name."

Eddie didn't know why he found himself so jealous over Buck acting like a co-parent with Josh over Josh's dog. "Maybe Christopher can meet her someday." Eddie knew that Christopher would be over the moon at that, he had been begging him to get him a dog for months now.

"Sure. I think we can arrange for Adora to meet Christopher as well as Henry and Denny." Buck looks excited at that idea.

"I don't think that is wise. Pitbulls as a dangerous breed of dogs. I don't think a child as sensitive as Christopher should be around something so dangerous." Ana spoke up, she was tired of being ignored.

A dark look appeared in Buck's eyes, "There are no dangerous dogs they are just who they are because of how people treated them. Pitbulls get a bad reputation because of humans not because of them. They are hurt and beaten until they are turned into what their so-called owners want them to be. Adora is a sweetheart and Josh has shown her the love and kindness she has been denied all her life. Now if you excuse me I have a Lego time to get to with Christopher."

"Well, that was rude and uncalled for," Ana muttered under her breath once Buck was gone.

"Yes, what you said to Buck was uncalled for. I hope you apologize to him. And what is this about going away for an adult weekend? I don't recall being asked or agreeing to it." Eddie wasn't happy with his girlfriend.

A pout appeared on Ana's face as she attempted to snuggle close to him only for Eddie to pull away from her. "I thought it would be nice for the two of us to have some adult time. We have been dating for months I think it is time that we spend the nights together."

Eddie froze, he should be saying yes. Ana is his girlfriend, she is sweet, smart and sexy, he should be thrilled at the idea of them finally crossing that line but he isn't. He doesn't want to sleep with her. "I think that you should go. Today was the day that I was meant to spend with my son and Buck, just the three of us, a boy's day. You knew that but still invited yourself over. Now I am asking you to leave so I can salvage this day."

Stung Ana reared back a hurt look that gave way to anger appeared on her face, "Are you choosing Buck over me?" She demanded.

Looking at Ana Eddie realized that if she left and walked out of his life today he wouldn't miss her as much as he did miss spending time with Buck. "I am."

Climbing to her feet Ana grabbed her bag, "Call me Eddie when you come to your senses."

When he didn't feel the terror griping him like he did when Bobby had informed them that they couldn't talk to Buck during that horrible time of the lawsuit Eddie knew that he and Ana just weren't meant to be.

But right now it didn't matter what matter was spending time with his boys.

+******+

"So wait Eddie chose you over his girlfriend and you still came to visit me today? I'm touched, Buck." Josh grinned at his friend.

"Actually I came to spend time with Adora, you are just extra," Buck informed him from where he was kneeling beside Adora giving her belly rubs.

"Fair." Josh would choose to spend time with Adora over others, his sweet girl was the best. Studying his friend Josh felt his heart break for him, it was no secret - except to Eddie - that Buck was deeply in love with his best friend. Everything had been certain that those two were heading towards a relationship when Ana appeared and suddenly Eddie was head over heels for her. Josh had heard many rants about pod person Edmundo Ana was turning him into from Chimney and Maddie. Josh admired how Buck was able to put his heartbreak aside and still put on a happy smile for Eddie. "Come on let's show Adora off." Today was going to be an Eddie-free day Josh was going to make sure of it.

Buck smiled as he gave Adora one final belly rub, "How about that girl, ready to show off your amazing self."

Adora let out a happy bark.

+*****+

Eddie wasn't miserable or jealous over the fact that Buck had chosen to spend the day with Josh. He was perfectly happy hanging out with Hen and Karen as Denny and Christopher played in the Wilson's backyard.

"If you look any greener I think the trees are going to get jealous." Hen commented as she took a sip of her drink.

Refusing to look his friend in the eyes Eddie studied the label on his bottle. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Right," Hen drawled out, "You are not sulking and drowning your sorrows in a pack of beer over the fact that Buck is out having a guy's day with Josh and not attached to your side." Hen wasn't afraid to call out his bullshit.

Clenching his jaw Eddie refused to admit that he was jealous.

Hen and Karen exchanged a look, they both knew that if Buck kept spending time with Josh then Eddie's jealous and possessive side was only going to get worse and that just might be what finally pushes the boys to act on their feelings.

Hen hoped it was soon, she couldn't take much more of this pining between her two idiotic boys before she asked Athena for a pair of handcuffs.

#buddie #buck x eddie #otp: you can have my back anytime #tropetember #not ana flores friendly #sherri writes #my fics

[detectivecarlosreyes]

In Case of Emergency (Ch 9/10)

Ao3 | 2.9/18.5k | Buddie | Status: Incomplete

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Chapter 9: It’s about time  In which Buck and Eddie try to disclose their relationship; if only calls didn’t keep getting in the way. Set in mid-3x18: What’s next.

Things were going well between them. After recovering mentally and physically from Eddie’s ordeal, they were closer than ever, with Buck spending most nights in the Diaz household than he ever was before. He was there for Chris’s first sleepover party, being an incredibly helpful chaperone to a bunch of hyperactive 9-year-olds. He was as much a parent as he was both a form of entertainment for the kids and was a welcome relief to the stresses of parenting such an event.

It was good, practically perfect really, having him home all the time, helping, basically being an integral part of the family. He was rarely in his own apartment anymore, only returning to collect his mail and restock on clothes really.

Buck was effectively living with them full time, his wardrobe slowly but surely integrating into his own and their relationship had progressed to the point that it was near almost impossible for them to keep it to themselves anymore, considering how intertwined their lives had become. So now, in their downtime between calls, nearly every recount of what they did on their time off involved the presence of the other.

They were pretty sure the others were finally catching on. It was hard to miss the side-eyed glances when he mentioned something involving Buck and Chris or when Buck did the same mentioning him and Chris. They were also noticing long considering looks coming from Bobby, especially when they were doing something together alone when at the station, but it was hard to say whether he knew but was waiting for them to come to him or if he just suspected something was going on.

In any case, they knew it was long overdue for them to officially be seen as a couple in the eyes of the team and the universe, except the problem was, anytime they tried to get Bobby alone for a chat or tried to bring it up when there was a dip in conversation, something else became more important.

Their most recent attempt was the closest they had ever gotten, having managed to catch Bobby alone in his office looking at them expectantly behind his desk.

Buck had just managed to utter, “Bobby, there’s something that Eddie and I have been wanting to tell you. We’re in a--”

He was cut off before he could finish the sentence, the call alarm blaring for their attention and distracting them all from the conversation at hand. It resulted in a rushed promise from Bobby that they would finish the chat when they returned after the call.

The call being the train derailment; bringing Eddie face to face with a person that he has only ever heard of.

Abby.

Buck’s ex-girlfriend.

As soon as Buck appeared by his side and said her name Eddie knew exactly who she was. How could he not? Buck had been living in her apartment in the first half of the year of him knowing the man and he remembered how long Buck carried a torch for her. How long he desperately held on to the idea that she was still his girlfriend until he finally let go and moved out of her apartment.

And now here she was, just showing up after all this time; no text, no call, no warning at all that she was coming back into town. Returning with a fiancé no less. He saw the way Buck reacted, how that revelation affected him. And then Buck, his kind-hearted, selfless boyfriend goes and promises her that he’d bring back her fiancé with the heavy implication that he would make sure they brought Sam back alive.

He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why Buck would make that promise, she had ghosted him for months before he had finally given up on the hope that she’d return. It made him nervous because he knew exactly how far Buck would be willing to go for a promise, and that terrified him.

And he was right. Buck wouldn’t listen to reason, so focused on being able to deliver on his promise that he seemed willing to ignore rational thought. He was so hell-bent on trying to save Sam even though there was no feasible way of rescuing him and the girl, that he was willing to put his life on the line. It was maddening and enough to make him snap out of fear and frustration in a last-ditch attempt to make Buck see reason.

“Buck, stop! Alright, I know you made a promise.”

And then for him to see Buck to back-track and fail to divulge pertinent information to Cap as to why he was acting the way he was, well, it set his teeth on edge and it had him spitting out, “Abby! His fiancé is Abby.”

Unable to look at Buck as he continued to blatantly disregard his own safety for a promise he shouldn’t have made, he left Bobby to deal with him, hoping that maybe the Captain would have more sway in talking Buck down from his dangerous plan. But it seemed not even Bobby could talk Buck down, especially when, much to his chagrin, he was offering admittedly sound reasoning.

That didn’t stop him from worrying about the man the whole time he was out there, hanging off the side of this awfully unstable car. It was one thing to be on the inside if it destabilised and falls, it was another thing entirely to be attached to it on the outside with no way to protect one’s self from the fall.

Thankfully, it was a situation that didn’t eventuate, and for that Eddie was enormously relieved because he wasn’t sure his heart could take it if it did. In the end, he was left with Buck watching as the ambulance drove away and could only imagine how Buck was hurting from seeing Abby and Sam together. It was enough to dispel any residual feelings of frustration and anger that he might have felt about the situation.

In fact, the whole situation was enough to put things in perspective for Eddie. Reminding him of how far he and Buck’s relationship has progressed and how much he wanted it to keep progressing and take the next logical step. But first, they were going to have to deal with Bobby who seemed to have remembered their previous meeting, despite the exhausting call, as he muttered to the two of them to join him in his office once they returned back to the station and restocked the trucks.

“Now what was it that the two of you wanted to talk to me about? Don’t tell me it has something to do with the way you were both acting today in that train car,” Opened Bobby when they finally joined him, looking up from his paperwork with a tired sigh.

“Well, it does, and it doesn’t,” Eddie answered vaguely, causing Buck to shoot him a look as he closed the door and took a seat beside him.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Eddie?” asked Buck in a hushed tone, half-turning in his chair.

“Nothing. We can talk about it later,” he muttered back, not wanting to talk about it right this second.

“If this is about Abby, you know I had no idea that she was coming back.” Pressed Buck.

Before he had a chance to respond to Buck and say that yes it was about Abby but not it the way that he thinks, Bobby was clearing his throat, reminding them that he was in the room and waiting for an answer to his initial question.

“Right, sorry Cap. What Buck and I have been wanting to tell you is that we’re in a relationship.”

Bobby looked between them as if he were trying to gauge whether or not he was joking and must have come to a conclusion because his next question was simply, “How long has this been going on for?”

“Over eight months.” Buck jumped in, answering resolutely, “We wanted to be sure before we told anyone.”

“Well, that clears up a few things.” They heard him mutter under his breath as he pulled out a manila folder from his top desk drawer before addressing them again, “I had a feeling this might come up at some point, I’ve been waiting with the paperwork for the last couple of weeks.”

“You knew?”

“Well,” Bobby drew out as he slid across the relationship disclosure form, “I didn’t know for certain, but I have been suspecting that something was going on, so have Hen and Chim, just didn’t realise exactly how long it’s been going on for.”

He waited patiently after handing a pen to them to fill out the form and sign it before sliding it back to him.

“As your friend, I am happy for the two of you but as your boss let me make one thing clear. If your personal relationship starts to affect your work on the job, I won’t hesitate to transfer one of you to one of the other teams in the station. Understood.”

“Yes, sir.”

“We promise to be 100 percent professional at work just like we have been when you didn’t know about us-”

Bobby raises an eyebrow at that, giving them a pointed look.

“- but we will try to do better at controlling our emotions if and when one of us is in a dangerous situation?” Buck tacked on questioningly, assuming that was Bobby’s look was alluding to.

Bobby nodded in approval before adding in good humour, “I should hope so, however, I have a feeling we might have to revisit this conversation sometime in the future.”

Eddie chuckled as he stood up, “That is entirely possible, but we will do our best to avoid it.”

“Good.” Bobby said with a grin as he offered his hand to both of them, grasping each of their arms warmly with his free hand, “I really am happy for you both. Now go, tell the others.”

With a sigh of relief, they left the office feeling somewhat liberated over finally disclosing their relationship. Admittedly, one of the reasons for their hesitation was that they weren’t sure they would be allowed to continue working in the same team and they wanted to prolong the moment for as long as they could, not wanting to be separated. But it seemed they were worried for nothing and now they could bring Hen and Chim into the loop.

Funnily enough, they didn’t have to look far for their friends, finding them not so subtly loitering nearby. Feeling Buck’s fingers thread between his own as they move to greet the other two, Eddie found himself unable to keep the smile from his face, knowing that this was something they could now do freely in front of their friends.

They barely had to say anything, with Hen immediately zeroing in on their joined hands and crowed in delight over their announcement before a group hug was instigated by Chim, celebrating their news, and declaring how overjoyed they were.  

“Can I just say you two are adorable,” Hen remarked when they relocated to the couches, causing him to blush over the comment, knowing that he and Buck had left little room between each other on the couch and had yet to relinquish the other’s hand. “And it’s nice to see that you guys are so comfortable about it after only a couple of months, I honestly thought you’d be more awkward about it.”

“Well,” Buck drew out in a contradictory higher register, “I’d say that’s because it’s been a bit longer than a couple of months.”

“Uhh, how long is ‘a bit longer’?” chimed in Chim, parroting the short phrase back at them.

Eddie looked at Buck who in turn looked at him, and they had a momentary silent conversation based on eyebrow movements and head tilts over who got to break the news. It ended with him sighing and turning back to the waiting pair, knowing what their reaction would be, “Some time since before Halloween last year.”

Their collective response to the admittance had him both wincing and trying to suppress the laughter that was bubbling in his chest over Chim and Hen’s affronted exclamations that they had waited so long to tell them.

“In our defence, we stopped actively trying to keep it a secret at the beginning of the year, we thought you’d figure it out sooner.”

“So, at all the gatherings this year, when you just happened to be dressed similarly and always also came in the same car together with Christopher and seemed to spend your days off together more often than not, that was you being a couple?”

“Yep!” Buck confirmed, popping the p as he relaxed further into the couch cushion and pressed himself more heavily into Eddie’s side.

“Oh my god, that makes so much sense. I can’t believe we didn’t see it.”

They watched as Hen and Chim withdrew into themselves re-evaluating all the moments together and realising what was so blatantly there. It was after a few more drawn-out minutes that Chim startled and stared Buck down.

“Wait, does Maddie know?”

Naturally just as Buck is about to respond, the call alarm sounded sending them all into a flurry to head down to the trucks. Chim however stopped at the bottom of the stairs and repeated his question more loudly. “Buck! Does Maddie know?”

Eddie watched out of the corner of his eye as Buck stopped mid-step and turned back to Chim gesturing for him to hurry up as he does so, “Yes Chim, Maddie was the first to know, now come on, we’ve got to go!”

This jump-started Chim back into action, “Right, yes, of course.”  But that didn’t stop him from muttering that he couldn’t believe she didn’t tell him sooner.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

It’s not until they make it back home, do they revisit the aborted conversation that started in Bobby’s office.

“So Eds,” Buck opened with from the bathroom doorway having just finished brushing his teeth, “it’s later. Want to tell me what you meant in Bobby’s office.”

He sighed, realising that he might have been a bit dramatic about the whole situation as he shucked on his bed shirt, “I didn’t really mean anything by it, honestly.”

“I feel like that sigh said otherwise,” Buck observed as he turned off the bathroom light and flipped back the covers, and slid into bed.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Buck! In that train car, I was just so worried about how far you’d go for that stupid promise. That’s all,” he ended up saying in hushed exasperation, turning on the bedside lamp and moved around the room to turn off the bedroom light before moving to climb into his side of the bed.

Buck wrapped an arm around his shoulder when he did and he let Buck pull him into his side, “I only said that because I was thrown. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in almost 2 years and she came back with a fiancé.”

He huffed at that and pushed his mild annoyance aside, relaxing into Buck’s embrace instead, “Okay, so maybe I was being a bit irrational too. But so were you promising to save him, you know that we’re not supposed to do that.”

“I know. And as much as I know I shouldn’t after the way things ended between us, I do still care about her, I didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t get to be happy.”

He repositioned his head to settle it more closely to Buck’s heart speaking softly, “I get it,” and then after a period of quiet as they listened to each other breathe he suggested, “You should go see her.”

The was a beat of hesitation from Buck, “…you sure?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, I may resent her as your friend and boyfriend for what she did, but this is about you. You deserve to get the closure she owes you.”

There’s a long considering pause as Buck thought it over, long enough that Eddie actually thought he might have fallen asleep, so he shifted across Buck’s warm chest to turn off the lamp and resettle back onto his pillow.

“Eddie?” is spoken softly into the darkness, the sound of a head turning on a pillow.

Rolling back onto his side to face Buck even in the darkness, he places a hand on Buck’s bare chest, “Yeah Buck?”

“I just want you to know how much I love being part of your life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I promise to do everything in my power to keep it that way for as long as you’ll have me.”

Smiling softly at the heartfelt declaration, he uttered immediately in response, “I love being part of your life too Buck and I know how seriously you take your promises." He pressed a kiss to the tip of Buck’s shoulder, "Don't worry, I don’t intend on letting you go anytime soon.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He felt as Buck adjusted his position slightly to drop a kiss to the crown of his head with a contented sigh.

The conversation trailed off after that and he could feel Buck slowly drifting off beneath him. He wasn’t lying, after everything the day had brought and the months leading up to it, Eddie knew one thing for certain; he wanted to take the next natural progression in their relationship and have Buck move in properly, officially. Now he just needed the assistance of one Christopher Diaz to make it happen.

#jess writes #my fic #911 fic #buddie fic #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 on fox #buddie #911 fox #userkourt #userkimmy #userpauline #userjillian #eddiesdiaz #gracieli #useraninha #javachik #tuserjamie #buddie4ever20

[anon911andbuddie]

Buck Begins

So...this is what I’ve been working on for the past week and a half. I hope that the show will expand on even some of the things we’ve been gifted through the show! Here’s my take. Also, the ending is kind of trash, so...sorry in advance.

-Red💋

Warnings: cursing, bad parenting, self deprecation, dissociation, past trauma, descriptions of past trauma, Evan Buckley definitely needs a hug, hurt children, minor character deaths, traumatic calls involving kids

Seeing them, the world fell away. He thought he had left them behind when he left Hershey. He hadn’t wanted to see them again. It was no secret that he hadn’t had the best childhood growing up. His parents weren’t bad people, they just weren’t meant to be parents. But standing there, Evelyn and James Buckley brought back every bad memory of his childhood. On top of the day he was having, Buck wasn’t sure he would be able to handle the chat they were here to have. 

_______________

The day started like any other. Buck woke up, sent Eddie a text about something he’d researched the previous day, and made a protein shake. He went out on a run, returning in an hour to shower and get ready for work. Before leaving his apartment, he checked his phone to see Eddie had replied to his text asking why he’d be researching the logistics of helicopters along with saying he’d be missing work because Christopher was sick. With that, Buck had wished the little boy well and told Eddie to text him if he needed anything though his mood dimmed at the knowledge he’d be without Eddie for the day. Then, he’d left for work. 

The start of the shift was slow. By the time they’d gotten their first call, the trucks had been washed down and the bay cleaned. It was weird not to work with Eddie. They’d become attached at the hip at work. Partners that didn’t need to talk to communicate to one another. One look and they knew what the other was thinking. Without him, Buck felt weird, as he tended to feel on the rare occasions they worked opposite shifts. The feeling that Buck was having as they left for their first call was different than the one he usually has on days without Eddie. He’s dreading the call...something feels off about it all. 

Cardiac events are a typical call for firemen. Buck and Eddie would help on crowd control while Chim and Hen did their thing with the patient...but it wasn’t a normal patient. A fifteen year old kid suffering a cardiac event. The crowd was dense, but they stayed back respectfully while Chim and Hen worked. Buck turned to watch. The kid had barely started their life out, and his heart had stopped. Chim and Hen tried to resuscitate, but the boy was long gone. The ride back to the station had been a dark silence. 

The next call wasn’t much better. Two twin nine year old girls had been dared to go into the condemned building at the end of their street to prove themselves not to be cowards. One of the twins had found a weak spot in the floor and fell through. The other had gone to get help. Looking down at the nonresponding twin as he was hooked up, Buck couldn’t help but think of Chris. What if one of his ‘friends’ dared him to do something this stupid? Chris never wanted to disappoint anyone...he could put himself in danger just as these twins had. 

It didn’t help the rescue that the rope snapped halfway down to get the girl, causing Buck to think quickly in order not to crush the prone nine year old on his way down. The way she had fallen, she’d gone through two floors before hitting the basement. The first floor wasn’t stable enough for the winch system so they had set up shop on the second floor meaning Buck was almost on the first floor when the rope snapped. 

After assurances that he was alright, nothing was broken, he’d just have some bruising, Buck was back focusing on the nine year old. She hadn’t woken in his fall. She was still breathing, thank God. Buck had attached a neck brace and harness by the time another rope was sent down. He’d been quick in getting the girl attached to the rope and had been sure to stand under her in case the rope she was attached to decided to give way as his had. Thankfully, the girl was fine as she reached the second floor and Bobby helped Hen to get her loaded on a backboard and taken out of the building. In record time, Buck was being checked out by Chim to make sure nothing was out of place after his fall. The nine year old was fine, but that didn’t stop Buck’s thoughts from wondering to Chris, making a note to talk to the little man about acceptable dares and what not. 

The crew barely had enough time to eat lunch before another call came in. This had them responding to a rollercoaster malfunction. Buck hated rollercoaster calls. Ever since he had to watch as he couldn’t save the man he’d tried so hard to save. Had to watch as he fell...as he hit the ground. As they pulled up to the scene, Buck tensed. He really hated rollercoasters. It looked much like that rescue two years ago...and Buck didn’t want to fail again. 

Most of the rescue went fine until they had fifty percent of the passengers off. Metal started to creak, things shifted and a couple of victims were left hanging on for dear life as the bar securing them came loose. And fuck if Buck wasn’t getting flashbacks. They needed to work faster. Hen and Chim were trying their hardest to get those who had lost their support and Buck was trying to keep the others calm as he worked to free them. He didn’t want a repeat of last time. He refused for that to be the outcome of this rescue. 

Nothing else went wrong until they were down to two passengers. There was no way for Buck to release the bar and get them both out without one of them falling. He could see the male, no older than sixteen, wasn’t faring well. His friend, again sixteen at most, was pleading with Buck to save him. She didn’t care what happened to her, she just wanted him to live. And fuck if Buck couldn’t feel tears building behind his eyelids. He couldn’t see how he would be able to save both of them. 

In the end, Bobby had set up an inflatable rescue mat to catch the teen Buck couldn’t grab. Buck wanted to find a silver lining in the rescue, but even he knew a fall from this height, especially if she couldn’t correct herself to fall on her back, would likely kill her. He explained all of this to her and she took it in stride, giving him a wet smile and telling him that it would be worth it if her friend lived. 

Buck had lost both of them. 

The second Buck had released the bar and grabbed onto the sixteen year old closest to him, the teen had started to fight him. He had shouted that if she died, he deserved to die with her. His struggling ended with Buck flipping over the side of the machinery he was on, his clip straining against the jostling of keeping himself and the teen from falling. The basket he was in had groaned at the change in weight distribution...then the teen had twisted his arm painfully-something he hadn’t expected-and Buck’s grip had loosened in surprise. 

The teen fell.

He lost them both.

_______________

Eddie had updated him throughout the shift on how Chris was doing. It seemed Superman was getting better as the day went on. That made Buck’s day a little better, but it also made him miss the Diaz boys more. Eddie would ask how the shift was going, but Buck would circle around the whole thing and comment on the dumb things Chim and Hen would say inbetween their calls. 

If Eddie could tell something was wrong, he didn’t let on through the texts he sent. So Buck spent his down time looking at pictures of Christopher, Eddie, and the three of them together. Buck was having a horrible shift and only wanted to be with his boys...but, as always, Karma had its way and he was stuck on the shift from Hell.

The calls they had through the night were tamer than the start of their shift. That’s why Buck thought that the shift from hell was almost over. That’s why he thought he was safe until he had to come back in for his next shift...that’s why he was looking up to stopping by the Diaz household to bring Chris some of Bobby’s Cure Soup that worked magic on any sickness. That’s why he hadn’t been expecting to see them. The two people in the world that were supposed to love him unconditionally and protect him because he was their son...the two people who had no right to call themselves parents because they had never been parents to Maddie or Buck. They were never meant to be parents.

The funny thing is, they had to show up after his water rescue. That brought up memories of the day on the pier when the wall of water had smashed into him, separating him from Chris. The water rescue caused him to remember how he had failed Christopher and Eddie...and he needed time to get himself together so that he could show up at the Diaz household with a bright smile to hide all of his pain behind. Even funnier, he felt like he was drowning again. Because these were two problems he thought he had put behind him, but here they are. 

“Can I help you,” Bobby asked, ever the calming presence in the Firehouse. 

“Evan, it’s been so long,” his mother smiled, ignoring the captain and stepping closer to Buck. 

Buck took an involuntary step back. “What are you doing here,” he asked, voice sounding funny in his own ears.

“Is that anyway to treat us after having not seen us in ten years,” his father questioned.

“How did you find me,” he felt himself slowly slipping away. The voices around him sounded muffled. He didn’t feel like himself, he felt a kind of numb he hadn’t felt since the aftermath of the truck bombing. 

“Evan, show a little respect. We’re your parents,” Evelyn responded. 

Buck couldn’t help but to laugh. “Parents love their kids. They do anything for their children and they are proud of their children’s accomplishments. A child isn’t a trophy you show off when your friends visit and forget about until the next time a friend comes by for a visit.” Buck laughed again, though it sounded like it came from someone other than himself. “But I guess not all adults can switch into a parenting role. If that’s all, I have a job to do.”

“You seem to have forgotten your manners, Evan. I suggest you remember them,” James stepped closer, a glare on his face that reminded Buck of all the times he’d failed to meet his father’s expectations or interrupted one of his father’s conference calls. 

_______________

Evan was six when he realized that his parents weren’t like other parents. Other parents would proudly show off their kid’s artwork. They would brag to their friends that their kid was going to be an artist when they grew up or brag that their kid was so smart, they would go on to do great work in the science field. 

Evan’s parents didn’t do that. It never failed that every Mother’s day and Father’s day from when he was six until he was ten (when he finally just stopped), his parents would tell him that he could create a better homemade card or join Maddie in buying a card. They would say that the drawings that he gave them would need work in order to be put up anywhere in the house. They would say that his childish drawings looked unprofessional and messy-Buckley’s were pristine and didn’t do messy. 

No matter what Evan did, it was never good enough for his parents. As he got older, his parents started to let him know how displeased they were in him. Maddie, having experienced it before him, tried to shield him from it, but she was ten years older than him and not always able to be there for him. By the time he was in middle school, Maddie was in college for nursing and never around. She’d taken a couple of years before going to college before she couldn’t take the constant belittlement of her parents-they’d tell her she would never do anything in her life, that she was a disappointment, letting all of her schooling go to waste. 

Evan was alone. ‘He wasn’t good enough. His grades needed work. He would never be as smart as his sister. He needed to show initiative. Stop playing around, he should have been studying. Girlfriend? Not until he had his life sorted out. Boyfriend? Absolutely not, he was a disgrace. He was misguided. How had Evelyn and James Buckley been unlucky enough to be stuck with a son that liked other boys?’

Evan had never been good enough. No matter how hard he tried to please them. ‘A ninety-nine isn’t a perfect A. University of Pennsylvania isn’t Harvard. Fire Science isn’t a respectable degree.’

Evan had thought that the SEALs would make his parents proud. He tried out for the SEALs, he went through training, but it still wasn’t enough. Then he’d dropped out. That had been the icing on the cake. 

Evan had never had a big blowout with his parents. He’d always tried to appease them. He tried to be the perfect son...but they never thought he was good enough. So when he dropped out of the SEALs, having a shouting match with his father as a consequence, he left for South America. He bartended and had fun. Then he’d gone to LA and became a firefighter and he hadn’t contacted his parents since the blowout. 

_______________

With all the training he’d gone through when he was trying to be a SEAL, Buck should have been able to block out what he was feeling...keep himself from floating away, but staring at the middle aged adults in front of him, Buck wanted nothing more than to be able to float far away from them. 

Conversation seemed to be going on around him, but Buck couldn’t focus on it. He was living a nightmare. He’d never wanted his crew to meet his genetic donors. He never wanted them to meet because that meant they’d be able to see just how fucked up he was on the inside...because no matter how hard he tried, his parents would undo everything he’s built and he wouldn’t be able to hide it all from his team...his family.

Everything was so distant. Maybe if he kept this distance, his parents wouldn’t be able to ruin everything. Buck was only brought out of his head when he heard the alarm blare overhead. As if on autopilot, Buck (still in his soaked uniform) put his turnout gear on and piled into the truck. He needed to get away from his parents. The farther away he was, the less they could hurt him. 

No one tried to talk to him on the way to the site. Or, if they did, Buck didn’t hear them. Pulling up to the call, he did his job, no emotions getting in the way. A kid had been playing on piles of gravel and had started to be sucked into the pile. Buck went under to get the kid, feeling the last bit of his control over his body slipping away. None of it mattered anymore. He liked not feeling the emotions around him. It helped him to focus on the important things-like saving a kid from a pile of gravel. 

On the way back to the station, no one talked to him. The shift was finally over and Buck could go to his apartment and block everything out. Going through the routine of leaving the station was easy. He paid no mind to the sperm and egg donors that were still trying to talk to him. He stared at them passively as they blocked his exit from the locker room. Were they seriously going to block him from leaving? Couldn’t they tell he didn’t give a shit about them being back? Couldn’t they tell that they were unwanted? 

“Excuse me. Hi. Buck, Chris is waiting for you in the car, he’s excited to show you the artwork he worked on this morning for you,” his best friend smiled tensely as if he could pick up on the messed up family dynamics in the room. 

Buck merely stared at him before giving a small nod and following Eddie out. His parents gave them a wide berth, but called out something along the lines of their conversation not being over. Buck didn’t really care, he just wanted to be alone in his loft. “See you tomorrow,” Buck muttered as he approached his jeep. 

A hand on his shoulder had Buck stopping in his tracks. Eddie looked at him, really looked at him. There was more expression in Eddie’s eyes than Buck had ever seen. “Bobby called, said that you’ve worked a shift straight from hell and that you had unpleasant visitors. He also mentioned that you weren’t yourself, which is understandable. I’m not letting you drive in this condition. Get in the truck,” he motioned to his vehicle. 

“‘M fine. Thanks for the save. I’ll see you tomorrow,” it was hard to string together words. Buck just wanted to go home, forget this shift happened, and make the weird feelings go away. 

“You’re not fine, and that’s okay. But you’re not leaving this parking lot without being in the passenger seat of my truck. Get in,” Eddie stared at Buck, as if challenging him to disagree. 

Buck wordlessly got in the truck, too tired to come up with another argument. As Eddie turned out of the lot and started away from Buck’s apartment, Buck spoke again. “This isn’t the way to my apartment,” he muttered.

“We’re not going to your apartment. Abuela has Chris for tonight and you need someone to have your back tonight...and I promised to always have your back.”

Buck said nothing for the remainder of the ride. His brain was on automatic as he went through the motions of getting into Eddie’s house. He needed to get himself together and show Eddie that there was no reason to worry over him. He’d caused enough worry for the man in the past year and a half, he didn’t need to cause even more. Taking a breath as he laid his bag down against the wall in the entryway, Buck forced a believable smile to his face. “Seriously, Man. I’ll be fine. Let me take a nap, then, if you wouldn’t mind, take me back by the station so I can get my Jeep and go to the loft.”

Eddie studied his face, but didn’t show on his own what he was thinking. “You can use my bed for the nap. Go ahead and take a shower to get the grime off while I fix something light for you to eat before you rest.”

_______________

Buck hadn’t meant to actually fall asleep when he’d laid down on Eddie’s bed. Jolting up from his sleep with a shout on his tongue and tears in his eyes was never fun. The numb feeling from earlier in the day was gone and he was left with the crashing emotions that came from his shift and his unsuspected surprise. 

But Eddie was there. He was muttering softly into Buck’s ear as he held Buck close. Buck could make out his own figure shaking as he grasped Eddie’s shirt. Buck doesn’t really know when he’d let the floodgates down, but his cheeks were wet and he was clutching Eddie close for dear life. 

Buck doesn’t know how long he sits there with Eddie, but he starts to be able to make out what Eddie says as he holds onto him, “I’m sorry. You’re going to be okay, I promise. I’m here for you. Let it out.” A constant litany of reassurances and apologies. 

Buck lets himself hold onto Eddie for a bit longer as he composes himself. He doesn’t know what to say to Eddie. He doesn’t know how to thank him or how to extract himself from the embarrassment that’s setting in. Pulling back, Buck opens and closes his mouth. Eddie reaches after him, shaking his head. “Don’t. Don’t push it all back in. I know I’m not the best at talking things out, but I’m a very good listener. You’re hurting and I want to help. I have your back, don’t you trust me?”

Buck could only nod. It was silent as Buck thought, Eddie’s arms still around him. Quietly, Buck broke the silence. “Kids.” Buck shook his head as Eddie gave him a tight squeeze silently to get him to continue. “All the calls. They were-they were kids. Just kids. Fucking heart attack at fifteen, gone before we got there. Stupid dares that put a nine year old in danger. Fell through two floors, unresponsive. Hell, I almost crushed her when the rope snapped on the way down to get her,” Buck laughed, but it wasn’t a laugh that he or Eddie had heard before.

Eddie just held Buck closer, no matter what he wanted to say...Buck needed to get it all out before he could try and comfort his best friend. “I just kept thinking, what if Christopher’s friends had dared him to-to go into some condemned building and he ended up in that little girl’s place? What if-what if that little girl had gone in alone and no one had known about it? Would we have still found her in time to save her?”

Buck was silent again as he thought of the shift. It truly was one hell of a shift. “Two years ago we were called to a rollercoaster malfunction. I was sent up to help the few people on it down and I helped almost everyone. But, this one guy...he just-I couldn’t hold him and he-he fell. I watched as he hit the ground, head splitting open at the impact. I never wanted to see something like that again. We got called to a rollercoaster malfunction. Tons of people on it, on the peak of the coaster, hanging upside down. Chim, Hen and I got down fifty percent of the people before things creaked and metal bended. Supports gave way, three people fell. Those that were still hanging on, Chim and Hen helped and we were almost done.”

Buck’s voice was quiet as he picked at a loose thread on the comforter. “I had two people I needed to get down and we’d be done. But looking at it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get both of them. I’d need both hands to help the male who’d been crushed by the bar, cutting his skin. They were no older than sixteen and the girl...she just wanted her friend safe. She didn’t care what happened to her. I tried,” his voice cracked. Clearing his throat, he continued, “I tried to come up with a plan to save them both, but the kid was getting worse, so I asked Bobby to put out an inflatable. I knew, given the height, that she would be dead on impact, no matter if she fell correctly or not.”

Buck’s voice was thick with unshed tears. His body was shaking. “I released the bar and I had the kid. I was trying to pull him into the basket, but he was fighting me. He didn’t want to live if his friend didn’t. He-he toppled me over the basket. Everything groaned and I thought that it was going to give way, but it didn’t. I was holding on and I was trying to hold onto the kid, but he just kept struggling and he twisted my arm and I just-for a second my grip loosened and-and he just fell...didn’t even hit the inflatable and his skull just-” Buck broke. He couldn’t keep the tears at bay. 

Eddie was holding him even tighter, placing his head on the back of Buck’s neck. He was trying to comfort Buck, but he knew that nothing he did would make that pain go away. Eddie doesn’t know how long they sit there before Buck breaks the silence again. “We got called for a water rescue. Parents turned their back for one second and the kid, only five, fell off the pier. Didn’t know how to swim without the floaties. The lifeguard on duty was drunk off his ass and unable to help. We were five minutes from the scene, having just finished with a kitchen fire. We get there and everyone’s crowded around the edge of the pier. They’re just watching as the current drags the girl further out. The parents are making a scene, but no one was doing anything to help the girl. Bobby was trying to get information, but I saw her head go under and she didn’t immediately resurface, so I got out of my turnout and just-I just jumped in.”

Buck shivered as he remembered the feeling of the water around him. “I felt like I was back in the tsunami. The current was so strong, it just-it pulled me like the wave had pushed and pulled me that day at the pier. I couldn’t see the girl, I couldn’t find her and it was like I couldn’t find Chris and things were just-it was all-” he motioned to his head, “messed up. I was looking for Chris, but I wasn’t looking for him...I was looking for a girl who fell off the pier. I felt like I was drowning, but I knew she was actually drowning, and I just kept searching and the current kept pulling me. I couldn’t find her. I couldn’t find Chris and I couldn’t find her and Bobby and the others couldn’t find her and she was just-she was gone,” Buck whispered. “Just like Chris was suddenly just gone.”

Eddie forced Buck to look at him. Even though he told himself he wouldn’t interrupt, he didn’t like the look Buck had in his eyes, it was becoming similar to the one he’d seen when he found Buck in the locker room, just staring down the two adults blocking his path. “Chris is fine. You saved Chris. We found him. It wasn’t your fault and what happened to that little girl today wasn’t your fault. Buck-”

“I should have jumped in sooner to get to her...before she went under.”

“No, you were following protocol. You were waiting to get all the information and when you realized that the little girl needed help sooner than later, you jumped in without hesitation, without regards to your own safety. You did what you could, Buck.” 

“But it wasn’t enough. It’s never been enough. I’ve never been enough,” Buck whispered, thinking back to all the memories of his childhood. He was never enough for his parents. Nothing he did was ever enough for them. 

“That’s not tr-”

“All my life, I’ve wanted to be enough. With Maddie, I was or-or I thought I was, but she left and I was never enough for my parents. They’d tell me that I could do better. Art projects for Mother’s Day or Father’s day were thrown away because-because they weren’t good enough. They were childish and-and messy and my parents, they didn’t do messy. I didn’t go out and play with other kids my age because it was ‘too dirty’. I just wanted my parents to be proud of me, but instead they treated me like I was a trophy to be shown off at every event or gathering...but in the walls of our home, I was nothing. My grades always had to be perfect ‘a ninety-nine isn’t a perfect score, Evan.’ ‘Detention is for the unruly kids, you’re supposed to be better.’ ‘No, you can’t go to your friend’s birthday party, you got a B on your exam so you have to study more.’ Nothing was ever enough, I was never enough. I got accepted into colleges that I wanted to go to, but they weren’t the Ivy Leagues they wanted. I got into Princeton, but it wasn’t Harvard. Fire Science, which I loved, wasn’t an acceptable degree. Joining the Navy was looked at as giving up. Working to be a SEAL wasn’t good enough for them. Eddie, I’ve never been enough and I thought for once that I was enough and they had to come back and ruin that too,” Buck sobbed. 

Eddie didn’t know how to respond to that. There was so much to unpack. What he wanted to say was to hell with his parents for ever making a man as amazing as Evan Buckley ever think he wasn’t good enough, but he knew he needed to hold that thought back for the time being. “You’ve always been enough. You’re better than enough for me...for me and Christopher. You’re perfect the way you are. Hard headed, strong, loving, caring, and so much more. Anyone who made you feel different was wrong.”

“The reason everyone leaves me is because no one was present for me in the beginning. No one cared. Sure, Maddie was there, but she left because of our parents. She was never truly in my corner because she was planning her freedom. I wasn’t enough to stay, Eddie...don’t you get it? I’ll never be enough to stay.”

Eddie moved so that he was in front of Buck. After a moment of hesitation, he placed his hand on Buck’s cheek. “Evan, I need you to listen to me and hear me. You are more than enough. You’ve had a lot of shit thrown at you during your life, but it’s made you the wonderful man you are today. It’s made you a man that I want my son to look up to. It’s made you the man that I fell in love with. I know you’re hurting. I’m sorry for that and if I could make it stop, I would. Bad calls and memories of a past we want to forget are part of life, but it makes you stronger in the end. I know how strong you are now and I know that you’ll come out on the other side even stronger...and I’m here every step of the way.” 

_______________

Telling Eddie was surprisingly easier than he’d ever imagined. Buck hated talking about the past, but once it was out there, Buck couldn’t stop talking about it. After having lunch with Eddie, they’d settled down to watch something on Netflix that wasn’t kid-friendly. Buck couldn’t really focus on it. A couple of minutes, looking between the television and Eddie, Buck made his decision. 

“I always told my parents that I was doing something important for my college degree. They always wanted more information, but I told them that they’d have to wait and see. They were already disappointed in me for not getting into Harvard, but I thought they might be proud of my degree. Fire Science. I mean, it’s science and they wanted me to do something in science. So, graduation day comes and they call my name. They announce my degree and I turn to see my parents...think they’ll be clapping. The only one clapping is Maddie. The only person that was proud of me and my degree was my sister.”

Buck looked down at his hands in his lap. “After the graduation, instead of taking me out to the reservation they made, they belittled my degree choice...it didn’t matter that I finished two years faster than all the other four years. It didn’t matter that it made me happy. It wasn’t what they wanted. It wasn’t enough. After that, I still had some misguided idea that I could make my parents proud of me. I could make up for everything and finally get their affection and pride. So I joined the Navy. I trained for the SEALs…”

‘If his parents couldn’t be proud of his degree, Evan would have to show that he could be a proper defender...serve his country and make them proud that way. He passed the requirements to get in with flying colors. Basic training wasn’t even that bad. He’d been on a strict schedule since he turned eight. Channeling that into the orders of his superiors had been easy. 

Basic underwater demolition/SEAL (BUD/S) was one of the hardest things he’d put himself through. Phase 1, the physical conditioning seven week course. Each week got harder and harder. A weekly four mile run on top of the daily running, calisthenics, swimming, and boat runs they had to do. His favorite were the timed obstacle courses. He did really well in those, far better than his other trainees. Swimming took a bit of getting used to with the equipment and the time element, but he eventually aced that too. The first three weeks were used to condition him and the other trainees to be able to get through Hell Week. If he’s being honest, Hell Week was both his favorite and least favorite part of phase one. He slept maybe four hours throughout the whole week. He spent five and a half days of continuous training with more than 20 hours a day of just physical training. The week consisted of more than 200 miles of running, plenty of calisthenics, swimming, and boat runs. It was easy for Evan to get lost in the grind of the day. It made him focus on one goal and not overthink everything else. The three weeks after that were easier and Evan was ready for the next phase. 

Phase two consisted of Evan growing close to another trainee, Layne. Combat diving was definitely a favorite of Evan’s. He loved water and it felt almost second nature to be in the water. One of his boat partner’s, Layne, was also in his combat diving team. Buck helped Layne to be more comfortable with the aspects of combat diving, helped him to understand the mechanics...and they shared their first kiss after a five mile swim. The physical training during this phase became even more intensive and the trainees were taught basic dive medicine and medical skills in case that would be needed later on in their careers. Again, Evan excelled. He’d finally found something he was good at...something his parents would make his parents proud of him. By the end of this seven week phase, Evan was bulkier. By the end, he was the first to finish in all of his water tests: a timed 2 mile swim in eighty minutes (he did that in sixty minutes), a four mile run in training gear in thirty-one minutes (took him twenty-five), and a 3.3 mile swim and 5.5 mile swim. And by the end, he and Layne were closer than ever.

Phase three was Evan’s least favorite week. It all started becoming real. He would use the skills he learned to hurt others, if needed. Land Warfare. The first two weeks consist of teaching the class basic weapons, demolitions, land navigation, patrolling, rappelling, marksmanship, infantry tactics, and small-unit tactics. During the third phase, the class is taught to gather and process information that will complete the overall mission. It’s also the phase that broke Evan’s heart. Layne left him during week four. Like everything else, Evan was quick to absorb the information thrown at him. He could tell that his fellow trainees had some trouble with the fast paced learning, but to him, it was second nature. To make his parents proud, he had to learn faster than everyone else. He had to be better than everyone else. On the third week, they were transported to an island to test out their knowledge on everything they learned...and Evan aced it. Even on little sleep, Evan was able to think clearly and do his part cleanly. He was a machine, used for destruction and information gathering...and he hated it. He hated that he was so good at it. By the end, he completed the two mile ocean swim in sixty-two minutes (everyone else finished around minute seventy or so), a four mile run in his gear in twenty-four minutes (instead of the thirty minutes he was given), and completed a fourteen mile run. 

But Evan couldn’t be a mindless machine. He was so much more than that...and he couldn’t just blindly follow orders and be expected to do whatever was asked of him if it involved heavy machinery like bombs or machine guns. He had standards...so he dropped out.’ 

“My father hated the fact that I dropped out. And my instructors were so disappointed. Many of them tried to get me to continue on. They quoted how good I had done throughout the training, how I’d never complained and how I could have had an amazing career with the SEALs...but I couldn’t be their killing machine, Eds. So, my father made it known that he was disappointed in me. He just kept yelling, kept berating me for ruining one of the best things that could have happened to me. Mind you, he hated the idea at first, but when he realized just how far I could have gone, the contacts I could have had if I furthered a career in the Navy, he was pissed. But I yelled back, I got in his face and I told him off. I was so angry and the training I went through, I wanted to hurt him as he had hurt me...but I didn’t. I left. I left the country.”

Eddie was quiet as he ran a hand through Buck’s hair. He was trying to be comforting for Buck’s sake, but he had so many questions...like why hadn’t Buck told him about going through all of the SEAL’s basic training before dropping out? But he kept silent. “So I left for South America. I didn’t want any contact with my parents. I think it all crashed down on me that I could never make them proud...that I’d always have something wrong with me when it comes to them. In South America, I traveled around. To make money, I bartended. I learned the language enough to be able to speak with the locals, even if it was a bit broken at first. I had my first taste of freedom...that freedom Maddie found when she went to college. I slept around. I was a bit of a manslut, but who could blame me? I had no one that I had to appease in South America.”

Buck’s smile was nostalgic and clashed with the deep sadness in his eyes. “I had freedom, but I was miserable,” he snuggled closer to Eddie’s warmth, as if seeking more comfort that Eddie was willing to give. “No one understood me or, I should say, no one truly understood me. No one knew my past, and that was great for the first few months...but I wanted someone that could relate...someone that I didn’t have to fight a language barrier to understand. Not even just that, I didn’t feel like I was helping anyone. All I wanted was to help others...so after a couple more months of misery, I packed up and moved to LA. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do when I got here. I thought about going into the police force...but I never wanted to hurt someone and I absolutely hated guns training with the SEALs, so I threw that out. A couple of weeks after moving, I was walking through downtown. There was this huge warehouse that used to be next to that coffeeshop that you like so much. It held the supply of paper for Newspapers along with a couple of other things...but somehow, a fire had started.”

Buck shook his head as he thought about it. “Apparently, a couple of kids had snuck out of their parent’s eyes while downtown and they were in the warehouse. A bystander had shouted that he saw two people enter the warehouse a couple of minutes before the smoke had been noticed. The smoke was getting thicker and I had no clue how far fire crews were or if they’d been called...so I told that bystander to call 9-1-1 and went in.”

Buck clenched and released his hands. It was a sign that things hadn’t worked out the way he’d wanted them to. “I get in there, and the fire is everywhere. The smoke is getting darker by the second and I don’t even know where the kids could have been. I didn’t know what they looked like or how far they could have gotten before the fire started. There’s paper on fire raining down everywhere and I’m shouting for these kids to tell me where they are so that I can get them out…”

‘Each breath caused Buck’s lungs to burn. It felt eerily similar to the burning of the drown resistance training he’d gone through with the SEALs, but amplified. All around him, all Buck could see was fire and smoke. Something creaked to his right, and Buck’s training kicked in to move him out of the way of the falling support beam. Buck focused on his breathing and calling for the two people that might be in the warehouse. 

It was getting hotter in the warehouse by the minute, and Buck didn’t like the thought of that. From what he could tell, there were a lot of things in the building related to manufacturing newspapers, what if they had machinery that used certain flammable chemicals to aid in that? What if they housed those chemicals here? Buck wanted to get out of the warehouse before he had to find out. 

As Buck was getting to the back of the warehouse, he heard something. Following the sound, he found a little boy, no older than ten, crying. He was trying to pull his friend from under shelves that had fallen on him. Buck walked over quickly, lifting the burning metal enough for the boy to pull his friend from under it. “We need to get out of here, quickly.”

Buck had picked up the unconscious boy before putting the other on his back and jogging quickly through the burning warehouse. Just as he was making it to the front of the warehouse, there was a groan from the building and multiple support beams fell in front of the door. Buck had mentally cursed before setting both boys down. “Watch out for anything falling. I’m going to try and get our path cleared.”

Buck had no strategy. He didn’t see any other ways out-which that should be a violation. Pulling at the burning wood and hot metal sent pain signals through his body, but he didn’t focus on it. He had to get the two kids out. It was the first time he thanked his training from the SEALs. He could push back the pain to make sure others were safe. After five minutes of maneuvering beams out of the way, Buck could get the kids out. The kid that was still conscious was barely so as Buck picked him and the other kid up. He ran out into the fresh air, coughing as he did.’

“Fire crews had just pulled up as I got out. The first kid was going to be fine after some oxygen...but the second kid wasn’t breathing. I don’t know how long it had been since he had stopped breathing, I hadn’t checked. All I had thought to do was get them out of the building quickly...but I didn’t check breath support. He died. Unable to resuscitate. The kid’s mom was so distraught and I didn’t know how to even begin apologizing...I couldn’t save her son. I wasn’t enough to keep her son from dying.”

Buck licked his lips as he looked up to Eddie. “It was the 118 that showed up. Bobby was the new captain of the crew. Hen and Chim were still relatively new to the job. Chim was coming up on his first year anniversary and Chim was around six months in. Bobby had taken me aside, talked to me...told me that if I wanted to make a difference, I should sign up for the Fire academy...and now, here I am.”

“And now here you are, an amazing, kind, and generous fireman,” Eddie started. “You’re my best friend and I probably wouldn’t have met you if you hadn’t had all of that happen to you. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through life thinking that you aren’t enough, but to me-to Chris-you are beyond enough. You fit into our family so well, it was scary when I first realized how intertwined you were to our family unit, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Evan, I want you to be able to talk to me about anything that’s bothering you...and maybe try going to therapy again. I know what happened with your last therapist, but maybe you can try Frank...he’s good at what he does.”

Buck gulped, shoulders tense. “I don’t-I don’t know. I can’t...I mean, I know you’ve gone to him but I just-”

“Deep breaths, Buck. It was only a suggestion, you don’t have to. If you’re comfortable just talking things out with me, that’s okay.”

“No, I-I want to I just,” Buck licked his lips, “I don’t-I don’t know how to...it’s so easy to talk to you, but I don’t think…”

“We can go whenever you want to. There’s no pressure or rush.”

Buck was quiet for a few minutes before nodding. He looked to Eddie, taking a deep breath, “okay...next concern, my parents...I-they said it wasn’t over. I don’t want them around, continuing to fuck up my life...I never wanted anyone to have to meet them. I didn’t want anyone to figure out just how fucked up I was because of them.”

“You’re not fucked up. They don’t define you. You are amazing and generous and caring. You are so much more than how you could have turned out from everything you’ve told me about your upbringing. You wear your heart on your sleeve...I don’t trust anyone more than you with my son...you basically coparent him with me because you set such a good example for him. If your parents are still here tomorrow, I’ll make them leave, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“How did I manage to get someone as good as you in my life?”

“You deserve all good things, Evan. You deserve even better than me.”

“No one is better than you, Eds.” 

Eddie smiled, placing a hand on Buck’s cheek. “There are others better, but thanks for the compliment.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Buck rolled his eyes. 

“Look who’s talking. Take your own advice. You make everyone else’s problems your own. You let yourself be defined by your worst moments when you are so much more than that. A couple of fucked up situations don’t define the whole you.”

Buck lowered his head, “when did you get so wise?”

“When I went to therapy.”

“We can try it.”

“Let me know when and I’ll be there.”

#by red #writings by red #buddie #buddie relationship #buck begins #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz x evan buckley #buck buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz x buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buckley parents #flashbacks #navy seal buck #smart buck

[cal-tries-to-write]

Chris’s not so imaginary imaginary friend

A/n I know a lot of the firefighting stuff I say is extremely incorrect but for the sake of the story it needed to happen also to be in true 911 fashion. So I am sorry for anyone who can’t read this because of the in accuracy’s I feel for you I do. Also if your wondering why I picked the shows I did I just said whatever was playing in the background when I was writing. (Just a little fun fact I do that a lot)

“Has Chris ever mentioned a imaginary friend to you?”

Eddie turned his head from his son to the therapist next to him. “Why do you ask?”

“Ever since the tsunami Chris has been drawing pictures of himself and this person he calls Buck.” The therapist handed him a drawing, it was of a little boy with Chris written above him and he was holding someone’s hand. The person next to him was taller with blonde hair and blue eyes, he also had wings and what looked to be a crown on his head, above it written in black crayon ‘Buck’.

“No he’s never mentioned any imaginary friends or anyone named Buck either.”

“So he doesn’t know anyone with that name.”

“No.”

The therapist nodded.

“So I shouldn’t be worried?”

“As far as I can tell no. Though I do encourage you to talk to Chris about this Buck person and maybe find out more. That may help figure out who he is and why he showed up now.”

Eddie thanked the doctor as Christopher came out of the room and towards him. Telling him he was ready to go home.

Later that night when Eddie went to put Christopher to bed he saw him drawing again. The same person from the picture he had seen at the therapist’s office, except this time he was pointing to someone on a rescue boat.

“Hey,” Eddie leaned on the door frame, “what are you drawing?”

“Me and my friend Buck.” Chris put down the crayon to smile at his dad, “he saved me. Helped me find you.”

“Really? Can I meet him.”

“No.” He answered bluntly before going back to working on his drawing.

Eddie moved so he was now sitting next to Chris, “How come?”

“He’s shy. He’s also worried he’ll scare you.”

Eddie though for a moment before replying, “Well how bout you tell him that I’m not scared of anything and that there’s no need to be shy.”

A smile spread across Chris’s face as he looked up from his drawing, “Your scared of Santa.”

Eddie let out a small laugh, “Your Abeula told you that story.”

“Yeah.”

“Well I’m guessing she left out the part that i had the flu.”

“She said you say that to make it seem less worse.”

“Does she now? Well just for that,” Eddie stood up scooping Christopher up in his arms, “it’s time for bed.”

“Noooooo!” Chris turned into a ball of laughter as Eddie put him down on the bed and pulled the covers up tucking him in.

“Good night buddy.” He kissed the top of his sons head.

“Night dad. I love you!” Chris called as Eddie walked over to the door.

“I love you too.” And with that Eddie turned off the light and closed the door behind him.

Walking over to the couch Eddie sat down and turned on the tv absently scrolling through Netflix trying to find something to watch. Though his mind kept wandering to Chris’s imaginary friend. How come he did tell him sooner? Was he worried that he’d say that he was to old for imaginary friends? Did he talk to anyone else about Buck? Was this an actual person that he had met an was misremembering how he looked? Was it just someone who helped him and now he had become attached? Was Chris lonely? Realizing he was overthinking he finally redirected his focus to the tv, realizing that he had stopped scrolling in the middle of his over thinking. Netflix started playing the show that he apparent stopped on,Supernatural, he remembered Bobby talking about the show one time, apparently May really like it. She even went to comic con to meet the actors. Deciding he didn’t have anything better in mind he put the remote down and let the episode play.

Eddie groaned as he slowly opened his eyes trying to wake up. He looked around and saw he had passed out on the couch, there was a pillow under his head and a blanket over him yet he didn’t remember grabbing a pillow or blanket the night before. He was for once thankful that he had the second late shift because that meant he could spent time with Chris because it was the weekend and have some time to actually wake up before heading to work. He bolted up when he heard a crash come from behind him.

“Sorry.” He realized it was just Christopher who had dropped something on the ground.

“It’s alright,” Eddie walked fully into the kitchen now, “what are you doing?”

“When I woke up you were still asleep on the couch so I decided to make you breakfast.”

“You were? Well that very nice of you. How about I help you though?”

Chris looked at him and contemplated it for a brief moment, “ok.” He smiled picking up the bowl.

“Ok.” Eddie smiled back as he headed to the pantry to grab the ingredients they would need.

“Hey dad,” Chris had finished his pancakes and was now looking at Eddie who was still eating.

“Yeah,” Eddie put down his fork to look at his son.

“Did you know Buck has a sister?”

“I didn’t.” Eddie was glad that Chris at least seemed more comfortable talking about Buck now that he knew Eddie knew about him.

“He does. Her names Maddie she’s Chimney’s guardian angel.”

“I’m pretty sure Maddie is Chim’s girlfriend bud.”

“I know but she’s also an angel like Buck.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Eddie some how manages to be running late even with the fact that both Carla arrived early to pick up Chris and he managed to leave his house early himself. Damn LA traffic. When he finally did get to the firehouse his team already left on the first call of the shift. He knew he wouldn’t hear the end of this from Chimney, he’s been living in LA for almost two years and yet he still seemed to forget about midday traffic. Deciding the best thing to do would be start his chores and pray that that getting them done would at least help Bobby forgive him for being late he headed to the locker room to get changed.

“Eddie did you forget about traffic again?” Chimney walked up behind him slapping his back.

“No I actually left early.”

“Yet you were still late.”

Eddie shook his head ignoring Chimney’s remark and faced at Bobby, “I really am sorry about being late, I did get my chores done for the day though while you guys were at the call.”

“I’ll let it go this time because I’m pretty sure this is the first time you’ve been late since you started here. Just don’t let it happen again.”

“It won’t.”

The day was fairly slow after that, meaning everyone was just sitting around at the station. Bobby was baking, Hen was next to Eddie reading some medical textbook while Eddie was catching up on the news, and Chimney was playing pinball trying to beat the record Hen had set. The peace and quiet was suddenly interrupted by the bell going off signaling for an apartment fire.

When they arrived to the building other teams where already working on getting people out. Bobby headed straight to fire chief to find out what his team needed to do. She explained that stations 19 and 144 were clearing floors 1-10 so his team needed to clear floors 11-15.

Heading back to his team he relayed the information and assigned one floor for every three people so one truck could hold take two floors. Hen and Chimney were paired with another firefighter while Eddie was partnered with Lewis and Anderson, two paramedics that he knew somewhat well, which was a relief.

After clearing their floor, 13, Eddie, Lewis and Anderson heard Bobby called over the radio that everyone needed to get out, the building was going to collapse soon. As they walked down the hallway to the stairs Eddie swore he heard someone yelling but when he asked the other two about it they said they didn’t hear anything. As they reached the stairs Eddie heard the yell once more and not being able to leave the building knowing that their might be someone calling for help he told Lewis and Anderson to go while he double checked the room he thought the yelling was coming from. They both gave him a look and said that the building wasn’t stable and they needed to get out. He reassured them he’d be right behind them.

As he entered to room he was reassured in the fact that someone was calling out. He walked through the living room calling out to them trying to get another response. After clearing the living room and kitchen he headed to the two bedrooms. Grabbing the door frame to the master bedroom he felt the building shake, he was running out of time. He then saw something move in the corner of the room. He called out one final time and finally got a response a weak one but a response none the less. It was a little kid no older than 7 curled under the bed looking terrified.

“Hey, I’m here to help.” He walked over and knelt down, “Can you come out. Then we can get out of here together.”

The kid slowly crawled out from the bed and grabbed Eddies hand. As soon as he was out Eddie picked him up and ran out of the room, out of the apartment and into the hall, knowing he was going to be out of time soon. As he was halfway down the hall he felt the building shake and the floor give out beneath him. He held the kid closer, closed his eyes and waited for the impact of hitting the floor beneath them, but it never came. Instead when he opened his eyes he was outside the building. He was in the alley next to fire escape. Slowly he set the kid down try to process what had just happened, he looked around thinking maybe he passed out when he hit the floor and someone dragged him to the fire escape? But then someone would have been around. He shook his head, what had just happened he could try to figure out later right now he needed to get the boy to Chim and Hen so they could make sure he really was ok.

“Hey buddy,” He took off his helmet and mask so he could talk easier, “you alright? Can you walk?”

“I think so?” The kid mumbled looked confused himself.

“Alright follow me. I’ll take you to the ambulance where my friends can check you out and make sure you’re not hurt.” He took the boys hand once more and lead him out of the alley where he saw his team looking at the building collapsing in on itself.

“Hen! Chimney! I got a kid I need to to check out.” He called waving to get their attention. As soon as their heads turned they, and Bobby, started running over.

It was 4pm by the time he got home which wasn’t late which wasn’t late enough for him to just go to bed even though he was beyond tired. Even though he just got off a 24 hour shift he really didn’t feel like messing up his sleep schedule more than it already was. Instead he compromised with sitting down and relaxing that way he didn’t have to do anything but would still sleep tonight. The only downside was Christopher was hanging out with his aunt meaning that if he did fall asleep no one would wake him up. But he could stay awake so that wasn’t a problem, pulled up Disney+ this time and put on the Simpsons, not really paying attention he drifted off to sleep half and hour later.

Once again he was awoken by the noise of something crashing this time it sounded like multiple cookie trays had been dropped, the loud noise was followed by a quiet “shit!” It’s takes Eddie a moment to realize that he’s supposed to be home alone and the second he does remember he’s up off the couch and quietly walking towards the kitchen trying to see who or what made the noise. As he gets a clear view of the kitchen he sees a man with dark blonde hair mumbling to himself holding a recipe book. Normally Eddie would be confronting the man asking what he’s doing in his house, or he’d be moving to make the better move, calling the police. Yet he just stands there frozen because from where he’s standing it looks like the man has soft barely blue wings and a glowing golden halo around his head. Eddie just froze, he finally shook his head and rubbed his eyes but nothing he did changed what he saw.

“Kära gud,” Eddie breaths out, he realizes he said that aloud when the man turns around and drops the book as his wings flair up. Eddies first thought is he looks like a big chicken ready to fight. When Eddie looks from the mans wings to his eyes he’s meet with the beautiful blue eyes it hits Eddie who this person in his kitchen looked exactly like,“Buck?”

A/n that last thing Eddie says is Dear god in Swedish and it was Spanish but I changed it because I saw a post about him also muttering under his breath in Swedish.

#buddie #am I aloud to tag this as buddie? #I mean it will be in later chapter or at least I plan for it to be but #this is a lot of explanation and Eddie and Chris #911 fic #911 on fox #911 #911onfox #911 fox #911 au #911 fanfic #911 show #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #christopher diaz #chimney #bobby nash #henrietta wilson #fanfic #Eddie speaks Swedish briefly

[greekowl87]

From the kiss prompts #19: Kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing.

A/N: I am so, so sorry it took so super duper long to answer this prompt. Post ep “The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati” with a blooming MSR taking the relationship to the next level. Also, pure fluff. @today-in-fic @improlificinsarcasm @baronessblixen @suitablyaggrieved

P.S. Sorry for the typos; no beta.

In the dim light coming from his bathroom, Scully sat on the edge of Mulder’s bed and watched him sleep. His eyes darted beneath closed eyes, dreaming. She gently touched his brow, feeling the scratchy gauze beneath her fingertips. His lips moved wordlessly and his face frowned as if in a nightmare. She could see Mulder’s lips forming her name, calling out to her silently over and over again.

Over the past few weeks, she had mastered changing the bandage around without waking him, but this time, she simply removed it as he quietly called out for her. His surgical scars had held enough without any long term damage. She continued to watch him. His hands flexed as if trying to grasp for something. She took his hand and kissed his cheek. He relaxed slightly, almost sensing her presence.

“Scully,” he called.

“I’m here,” she murmured, “open your eyes.”

Mulder did as she requested. His eyes squinted at the intrusion of the bathroom light. The light haloed around her, making his partner look like an angel. “Did I die and go to heaven?”

“Depends on your definition of heaven,” she whispered softly, “but you won’t die. Or didn’t. That much I’m sure of. Sit up for me so we can get that bandage off.”

He sat up on his forearms and she shook her head again, helping him sit all the way up and rest against his headboard. “What time is it?”

“Shortly after seven a.m. It is Saturday. The weather is going to be rainy all day so I figured what better excuse than to come by to check on my favorite patient.”

He winced slightly as she unfurled the bandage with practiced ease. “Did you bring food?”

“I thought I would cook for you this morning or we could do it together,” she said. “It’ll be fun.”

This thing was new between them. After she had rescued him from the bowels of some unknown DOD building after botched brain surgery. She came by daily, often spending the weekends with him, while he healed. “Know what would be fun?” He murmured, squinting his eyes. “Not having to wear that bandage today.”

She snorted and gently inspected his head. “I think we could do that today.”

“Good. Am I allowed to shower by myself too, Dr. Scully?”

“As long as you don’t fall. Do you think you can do that, Agent Mulder?”

He chuckled and nodded. Deciding to catch her off guard, he cupped her cheek gently and gave her a morning kiss. “Good morning.”

She snorted in amusement. “Stop distracting me and go take your shower.”

Mulder smiled. Aside from his most recent near-death experience, this new thing between him and Scully was his most favorite thing. She disappeared from his bedroom and he felt his cheeks warm. Mulder got out of bed to take a quick shower and change into something a bit more casual.

Scully disappeared back out to his apartment. She could hear the shower turning on and could swear she could also hear him ‘Walking on Sunshine’ off-key. She bit her lip and smiled to herself. Despite her initial confusion on where to turn, she recalled Mulder’s words…his touchstone, his constant…and for the first time in their seven years, she had never been happier. Granted his situation warranted that they stay slow with their new development, but it wouldn’t be their thing if it didn’t go slow.

Before Scully had come there this morning, she had stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things including a half dozen eggs, frozen hash browns, and orange juice. As his shower continued, she hunted through his cabinets for his coffee but instead settled on the tea caddy he kept just for her. She found his small steel kettle, filled it, and put it on the back of a small burner. As that heated, she rummaged through the cabinets and found what she needed: a skillet and bowl for the eggs. She was so focused on her task that she failed to notice Mulder come up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and kissing her softly.

Scully didn’t jump at the new intrusion but leaned back against him. “You’re distracting me again,” she murmured.

“It doesn’t look like you complaining,” he said. His hands rested on the curves of her hips. “What’s up, Doc?”

She smiled and shook her head. “Tea to start with.”

“Couldn’t find the coffee?”

He was already inspecting the kettle, placing his hand on the side of it. “It’s not hot yet! If you want something to do, Mulder, then crack these eggs!” She playfully swatted him away. “I was just about to start the hash browns.”

“Peppers and onions?”

“You know it.” He hummed in approval and Scully took this moment to break away, giggling as she did. “Make yourself useful, Mulder.”

He opened his antiqued fridge and dropped a pack of bacon and cheese onto the counter. “Good for you,” she smiled sarcastically. “You provided food! Do you want bacon in your eggs.”

“On the side.”

“Make yourself useful, Mulder,” she chided him. “Either cook the hash browns or crack the eggs.”

“Bossy,” he replied in a sing-song voice. “Remind me to tell you never to practice medicine.”

She heard him take the plastic bowl from her and she chose that moment to inspect his head. The haphazard haircut the Syndicate gave him made his hair stick out at all ends. Personally, she liked the spiky hair being a new constant. He hissed in surprise as she cupped his face, her fingertips tracing the new scars. “I don’t want you to bandage your head for the next 48 hours,” she told him.

“Do I meet inspection, Dr. Scully?” He bent forward and kissed her again. “Well?”

She burst into a fit of laughter. “Mulder! Stop distracting me!”

“I’m not distracting you!”

“I beg to differ.” She hummed, satisfied with his progress. “Anyways, get those eggs cracking.”

He moved his mouth, soundless mocking her. “I’m fine,” he promised. “No need to worry.”

“Are you sure? Do you want something to drink?”

“Stop being a mother hen,” he admonished her. He reached under the sink and pulled out his trash can. “I can crack a few eggs. And no, I’m fine. I think there is some orange juice your mom brought me.”

“When was my mother here?”

“On Tuesday while you were at the office. I told her she didn’t have to but she’s a lot like you in that respect.”

Scully laughed as she took out a bag of frozen potatoes from a grocery bag and dumped them into a skillet with butter. Mulder paused his egg breaking, wiped his hands on his jeans, and sneaked up behind her. His arms went around her waist, and taking advantage of their height difference, rested his chin on top of her head. Scully rolled her eyes and continued to prepare the frozen potatoes with Mulder still attached to her. “Not working, Mulder. And don’t annoy your doctor.”

His musical laughter echoed in his small brick kitchen and he kissed the top of her head, whispering, “I can’t wait till I get my doctor’s a-okay for extracurricular activities.”

“We’ve done…stuff.”

“Oral actives do not count. I am going to have my way with you…”

Some of the potatoes flipped out the skillet. “Mulder! Stop distracting me!”

“Not sorry. What else did you bring?”

“Bacon. But go through your fridge and get me what you want for the eggs.”

“Omelets?”

“Scrambled surprise. I may be skilled with my hands but omelet flipping is beyond my talents.”

“If you want omelets, I can do it,” he supplied. “You can cook the bacon. I’m still surprised you got it by the way.”

“I thought I would treat my patient.” Mulder chuckled and kissed the crook of her neck. “Is has these seven years have done to us? You can’t stop kissing me?”

“I love you too much, Scully. Besides, my goal is also to be distracting.”

“Well, you’re succeeding in your goal.”

Mulder went to his aged fridge and produced a bell pepper, onion, and spinach (which Scully raised her trademark eyebrow for). He chopped the rest of the ingredients as Scully finished the potatoes and stuck them in the oven to keep the bowl warm. She moved over to the next burner as he put two new skillets on there. She took the larger of the two and deftly started cooking the bacon while Mulder began their omelets. As they stood side by side cooking breakfast, he bumped his hip against hers. “Seems familiar, doesn’t it?”

“Like what?”

“We’re going over evidence…”

“For breakfast. Nice try, Romeo. Get cooking.”

He shook his head as they both began the bacon and the omelets. Twenty minutes later and one minor burn, they had two plates of fried potatoes, omelets, and bacon. They sat on his worn leather couch with their plates on the coffee table. She arched her eyebrow at him and asked, “Why can’t we use your dining room table?”

“It’s for stuff. Besides, don’t you feel more comfortable this way?” He waggled his eyebrows. “We can put on a movie.”

“I get to pick.”

Scully selected a classic, Alien. They wandered their way through breakfast, the plates were pushed and stacked to the edge of the coffee table, and Scully found herself lounging against Mulder as Ripley began to kick ass. He kissed her brow as she pulled down the Aztec blanket. “You know, I have this fantasy as you as Ripley,” he whispered. 

“I don’t get along with cats,” she whispered back.

“I know.” He wrapped his arm securely around her. His mind flashed back over the past few weeks. He knew she loved him and he was certain she loved him. Somehow, watching old sci-fi movies over breakfast with distracting kisses was becoming more appealing than chasing aliens. He just had to show her.

#prompt #asked and answered #xfiles #xf fic #txf #txf fic #msr #msr fic #post ep #mulder #scully #mulder and scully #secret season of sex

[gumnut-logic]

Reactions (Bit 15a)

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Not sure about this, but here it is.

For @soniabigcheese cos she ignited it.

-o-o-o-

Virgil had never felt so confined and uncomfortable in his uniform. His baldric was heavy and his collar itched. He shoved fingers between the material and his skin and scratched it raw.

“Stop that, honey.” A small hand reached up and pulled his hand away. He sighed and let his shoulders drop as Grandma wrapped her fingers around his.

They were standing in the foyer of Tracy Tower in Auckland. Scott had been determined that if the press wanted the story, they had to come to them. That and setting it up in public, in front of the massive feat of architecture and engineering most certainly helped to remind people of the power and money behind the Tracy brothers.

Virgil just hoped that they would also remember the good his family did on a daily basis. Not just through International Rescue, but via Tracy Industries itself - its technology, its philanthropy, its genuinely caring contribution to the world.

They weren’t just another billionaire family.

They cared.

Grandma was straightening his collar, her actions a sign of her unease more so than her words. “We will get through this, Virgil.”

He wrapped his hands around hers and stilled their nervous movements, attempting to catch her eyes. “Yes, Grandma, we will.”

She smiled up at him. “Yes, we will.” A glance behind him and she frowned. “Even if Alan eats the entire buffet.”

Virgil turned around to find Alan hovering over the food laid out on the reception desk. The red of his baldric glowed in the shafts of natural light filtering down from the windows far above them. Virgil subconsciously acknowledged the structural design work that managed to get direct sunlight all the way down here in the centre of a major city.

His littlest brother tended to eat when nervous.

Gordon was pacing back and forth a little further away, his yellow even brighter than Alan’s red. His fish brother hadn’t stopped glaring the entire flight out.

John had the privilege of being excused from this exercise. The man, despite having slept, as briefly as possible, was still working. Virgil was worried.

As for Scott...

His big brother was standing tall, not far away, not willing to let Virgil out of his sight, apparently. At this moment, he was deep in conversation with a harried Jack. 

The lawyer had seen better days. The man’s comb-over had come astray and he had bags under his eyes to rival those under Scott’s.

Virgil’s face itched.

Scott’s eyes darted in his direction as if they were psychically linked, his eyes catching Virgil’s hand as it reached to scratch his cheek.

Grandma’s hand grabbed his again and Virgil sighed.

How did women wear makeup all day. It was so...itchy.

It was Jack’s command. The remains of the bruise on Virgil’s cheek had to be gone. The press did not need a reminder of what had started all this.

Jack had the fun of being snarled at by Gordon for that comment.

The lawyer was unfazed, his expression tolerant as he took the aquanaut on.

A word from Virgil had halted his fish brother’s tirade of innocence. Jack wasn’t the one responsible.

But ultimately, here they were. Virgil decked out in his uniform and a little face putty to hide the green of a fading bruise.

So damned itchy.

Veronica Myers, your typical power-suited, perfectly polished PR representative hurried out from the elevator and narrowed in on Scott. The woman was good at what she did. It was what she did that baffled Virgil and his brothers. In the spotlight for a good chunk of their lives, they knew how important appearances were, but Veronica added a whole new dimension to the concept.

“They are ready for you, Mr Tracy.”

‘Mr Tracy’ was only one of them in this situation.

Cold blue eyes turned to Virgil. It had been decided that only Scott and the second eldest would take the stand.

Gordon was very loud and pointed about his opinion of the situation, but Scott was louder and in command.

The aquanaut was still steaming.

It appeared to be a permanent state of mind for his fish brother lately.

Virgil squeezed his grandmother’s hand and let go. He strode over to his brother, their lawyer and PR rep.

Veronica straightened his collar and Virgil held back a sigh.

“Do you remember the script?” Her voice was crisp, her eyes searching.

“Yeah, as best I can.” Veronica hadn’t liked the fact Virgil was accompanying Scott in this little venture. The engineer had much less experience speaking to the press than his bigger brother. Virgil was much more a behind the scenes type and usually kept his appearances attached to worthy causes when he got the chance. 

There was a big difference between opening a new children’s hospital ward versus a press conference.

“Scott will do most of the talking.” He had the skill set. Virgil was far too honest for his own good.

Veronica’s eyes were almost violet in this lighting. Perfect lips pursed just a little in worry.

She was honestly the oddest mother hen type he had ever encountered. She cared about their business and their family was the business.

Her fingernails were an iridescent purple today, long and perfectly manicured.

A tug at his baldric and she caught his eyes. “Looking good, Virgil.” She smiled. “You’ve got this.”

Despite himself, Virgil snorted. “Thanks, V.”

Her smile widened before turning to Scott. “You ready?”

Scott’s lips thinned as his shoulders set. As determined as before any rescue. “Let’s do this.”

-o-o-o-

It wasn’t until he stepped out onto the stage that Virgil realised he was almost beside himself with nerves. So much preparation, so much thinking about his brothers, that he failed to acknowledge his own thoughts on the matter.

There was a sea of people.

Holocams hovered, their bright lights eye piercing. Cameras flashed. The moment he and his brother emerged, a mass of sound welled up from the crowd. Scott’s name, his name, accusations disguised as questions.

It was overwhelming.

Scott took it all in stride, back straight, expression challenging anyone who encountered it.

A hand reached back and touched Virgil’s arm and it was enough to snap him into responder mode, the wall of professionalism coming down to protect himself. he straightened his own posture. He was a member of International Rescue.

The flashes were as blinding as any electrical storm he had encountered.

Veronica took mic control as the two brothers took their places at the podium. Sitting down, but still above the general crowd, Virgil could see where the police had blocked off the street to contain the crowd.

At the centre of the gathering were all the professional journalists. Expensive equipment, well dressed, sharp and likely the most dangerous sharks in the sea. But on the edges of the cordoned off area the crowd became the everyday joe. Placards on one side screamed messages like ‘Tracy fraud’ and ‘They let my son die’. 

The words stabbed at him, sharp and cold. This was his responsibility. This is what he had done.

His reaction must have been obvious because, combined with a sudden mad flashing in his direction, even more questions were screamed at him.

“Why did you do it?!” One above all others yelled across the plaza. 

Virgil, always able to locate the source of a sound, found the woman off to the left. She had tears streaming down her face. She held a placard with a young man’s photograph stuck to it. Underneath was written ‘One of Sixty-three’.  “He was my only son!”

There was another flurry of camera noise and light as Virgil stood up. His eyes only for her.

Scott was saying something, pulling at his harness, but Virgil was stronger.

The woman stared at him, tears running down her face.

Words fell from his lips. 

“I’m sorry.”

-o-o-o-

Next

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds #Virgil Tracy #Scott Tracy #Gordon Tracy #Alan Tracy #Grandma Tracy #nuttys fandomversary

[inawickedlittletown]

3x16 - my thoughts on Buck

Evan Buckley, why do you give me all the feels? 

Tonight’s episode had Buck connecting with a retired firefighter, Red, and really bonding over their profession and their similarities as firefighters. Buck only happens upon Red because everyone else at the 118 already has plans for the evening and can’t celebrate how well their last call went. Eddie has Chris’ first time hosting a sleepover to take care of, and everyone else has dates. But Buck cannot be deterred, so he decides to go out to a bar anyway. There he runs into Red who calls him a moron for his rescue of a deaf woman by crashing through a window in a high rise like the most badass firefighter that he is. 

The the rest of the night Red tells him stories about his own time as a firefighter and they bond over how alike they are and how much they love the job. The night culminates in Buck finding out that Red is all alone and that he doesn’t see much of anyone that he used to work with and that to top it all off the woman he loved left him and he ended up completely and utterly alone. And immediately after hearing all of this, Buck is suddenly hit with how he could easily become Red. 

Buck after all makes the job and the job alone his life. He has no one outside of work. And to top it off the same night that he met Red in the first place he was left all on his own because the rest of his team have lives outside of work and they couldn’t go out with him. I appreciate it so much that the writers brought it up in this way, making Buck question what the future will hold and suddenly having to face his fears of being abandoned and left behind because he has been abandoned multiple times and it’s trauma that we’ve never seen directly addressed. This is the trauma from Abby ghosting him and the way that he felt after the blot clots and the lawsuit earlier in the season. We also learn that he feels like Maddie abandoned him too multiple times and we even get to see Buck call her out on it. 

Because Buck is Buck, he tells everyone at the 118 about Red and everyone is very quick to reassure Buck that they will of course all still talk no matter what. They’re family. Hen does point out that people get busy with their own lives and when Buck asks about the firefighters that used to work with Hen and Chim neither has spoken to them recently and Buck’s point is made. There is no guarantee that they won’t all drift apart and it is a real concern for him. It hits Buck harder because for Buck, people leaving him behind is the norm. 

Despite feeling that way, Buck goes out of his way to find Red’s old girlfriend and of course he finds her and finds that her husband passed away. He’s so happy to be helpful and I think in some ways this is Buck trying to show himself that there is always hope and that reconnecting with someone is possible. Things are going well until it turns out that Red’s old girlfriend has alzheimers. The wrecked way that Buck looked in that moment as he and Red realized what was happening hit hard. 

One of the most heartbreaking moments in the episode happens after Red told Buck to stay away and he’s talking to Maddie about everything and we finally get to see Buck say that he’s been the person being left over and over again. For him to vocalize that pain and his abandonment issues outloud was amazing and especially so because he gets to tell Maddie that she in particular left him. Twice. This goes so well with a later scene where Maddie tells him that he won’t be like Red because he has her and the emotion in that scene not just due to the grief over Red, but because Buck so desperately needs to believe her killed me. His “You promise?”. Their pinky promise. I love the Buckley siblings so much. 

The interesting thing about Buck’s abandonment issues is that he does have people even when he thinks he doesn’t. For one, Maddie, and for another Eddie and Christopher. Maddie promises to stick around and she’s literally his closest blood relation, but Eddie is quick to include him in his night with Christopher when Buck can’t get anyone to go out to celebrate. Eddie is also the one to reassure Buck that they won’t stop talking. “That won’t happen to us,” Eddie says and he’s so sure. Bobby says “we are family” and it is so understandable that Buck can’t just take that and just believe it. So while he may fear ending up alone, it is actually likely that he won’t. Buck just has a hard time accepting that because of everything he’s been through. 

This gives us so much insight into Buck as a character from even as far back as S1 (and before that too...can we have a Buck Begins?) and how he jumped from one person to the next without much care because getting attached would just mean being left. And then when he finally does open up to someone, she goes and leaves him too. It explains how long he waited and how long he remained attached to the idea of Abby returning until he couldn’t hold on to that anymore. The episode doesn’t speak about Ali, other than Maddie mentioning how little Buck dated after Abby. Ali is the only other real romantic relationship that we’ve seen Buck in and she left him too. We also know that Buck sent Maddie Christmas cards every year even when he heard nothing from her for at least three years and that says so much about how unwilling he is to let go even after someone’s left him behind. 

This episode was also set up for Buck’s confrontation with Abby. Maddie asks Buck if he thinks about Abby still and even though we haven’t seen any indication of that before this episode, Buck says that he does. And I think what he needs is closure to finally be able to move past what happened between him and Abby. Who else thinks that Buck needs closure, why Oliver Stark does. So all of that makes me think that we’ll get it and that Buck will finally be able to put that behind him. 

In this episode we also got to see Buck just being Buck — selfless and big hearted and wanting to do anything in his power to help someone. People often talk about how much Buck gives and gives and gives but it’s all just a part of him — he needs to help others and he gets a lot of joy out of helping people. It’s what makes him feel good. And still, even after doing all he could for Red in the end, Buck feels like he made everything about himself. He isn’t cognizant of the impact that he has or how kind he is and how much he puts into helping anyone and everyone that comes into his life. This is different from the Buck that we see while he is in his uniform and saving people — where he wants to celebrate himself and a job well done because he has pride and he wants the recognition for his work. The Buck we see outside of the job is someone that doubts his actions and that doesn’t realize that most other people wouldn’t go out of their way to bring just that tiny little bit of joy to someone. And what he did for Red required a lot of work and yet Buck does it just because he can. 

-

Other Meta/Reviews

#911 fox #911 spoilers #911 meta #meta #evan buckey #spoilers #long post

[tsarisfanfiction]

Pulse I

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Angst Characters: Kayo Kyrano

I’m back again for @gumnut-logic‘s SensorySunday, now with the sense of Touch.  Wasn’t quite expecting to start with this pov (wasn’t expecting to use this pov ever) but that’s what happened.  More whump, because it’s me and I can.  As with Nothing (See), we’re probably going to switch povs each chapter.

Earthquakes suck.  Badly.  Especially when you’re still in an unstable building when the world crashes down.

Her eyes opened into black. Not unexpected, but unwelcome as her fingers fumbled for her torch and found it missing.  Great.  The groan of shifting masonry reminded her why she was here in the first place and even if she’d been the type to sit and wait for help, that wouldn’t do her any good here. She didn’t know how long the remains of the building would stay intact, but she couldn’t be in here when it did.

Nor could the people she’d been attempting to rescue before the second earthquake struck.

“Hello?” she called out, reaching out until her fingertips brushed rubble.  Cautiously, she followed it up, the lumps and bumps of broken brick rough and punishing on her fingers.  Sometimes, she wished she wore full gloves all the time.  Not often, but right now – with snags of brick and metal catching her skin and tearing it as she gingerly made to stand – she’d have liked the additional protection.

The top of her head hit something above her and she instinctively ducked again, raising a hand to find the culprit.  A low ceiling.  It probably hadn’t been a ceiling when the building was intact – more likely a wall – but that made no difference to her now as she resigned herself to a crouch.  Clearly standing up was not an option.

It was easier to move around on her hands and knees than an awkward squatted walk, so she readjusted herself, feeling something lumpy and unpleasant dig in to her knee in just the wrong spot, and began a slow advance.

Her night vision wasn’t exactly poor, but right now it was refusing to kick in.  Who knew how far they’d fallen into the ground below, away from all possible sources of light?  No-one was responding to her call, either, and she grit her teeth as her knee hit another unforgiving lump of probably masonry.

“Hello?” she tried again. “I’m with International Rescue!”

Earlier, they’d been talking.  A young boy with a voice squeaking through fear and his grandfather, a tough old nut that reminded her of Grandma Tracy.  Then the quake had struck, and now there was silence.

She fumbled further, reaching out in all directions in the hope that she’d find something soft, warm and breathing.  Every time, it was harsh, cold and still.

And then she reached the other end.  Her little enclosure was exactly that – small, she estimated not even ten feet in length.

But there was air, brushing her cheek.  Just a light breeze, nothing dramatic, but she followed it, stumbling over uneven ground and idly wondering how black and blue her knees were going to be tomorrow as they stubbed against more masonry.

There would be a tomorrow, she told herself as the makeshift ceiling above her groaned dramatically.  It reminded her of Gordon, pulling out all the theatrics just to prove a point. This thing’s point was that it wouldn’t be staying up much longer, and Kayo had no intentions of remaining underneath it when it fell.

The air was coming through a crack, she discovered as the cheek she’d been using to follow it scraped roughly against sandpaper rock.  She could only imagine what that was doing to her skin as she backed up slightly, and explored with her fingers.

The rubble was smaller here, chunks that, with enough persuasion, might be able to move all by themselves.  Above, the ceiling groaned again, a dying wail warning her that what little time she’d had was all but gone, and she threw herself at the weak point, scrabbling with torn fingers and ripping off fingernails in the process.

Out.  She had to get out.  Out, out, out.

The ceiling gave way just as a last desperate shoulder burst her through the rubble, peppering her with masonry dust and small chunks of brick and mortar, but she was through.

Through except for the boot of her trailing foot, trapped by larger rocks and refusing to budge.

Removing safety equipment was a bad idea, but it was the boot or stay trapped there forever.  Her ankle protested loudly, but some solid yanks got her free – although not without a price.

Okay, so she wasn’t going to be walking on that ankle any time soon.  It was a good thing this place was crawling only.

She dragged herself forwards, battered shoulder screaming in protest and dislocated at best, knowing that she needed to find somewhere she could contact her brothers.  A big site like this had required all hands on deck, and it was looking more and more like Virgil was going to have to dig her out.

Provided Virgil was okay. They’d all been in buildings when John had warned them about the incoming aftershock, ordering them all to get the hell out of there, and Kayo had no idea how many of them had managed it.

No, she wasn’t going to think like that.  Her brothers were strong, plucky, and lucky.  They’d all be out, safe and sound and probably going crazy about her absence.  She could already imagine the scoldings she’d get from all of them – right the way from smother hen Scott to angry puppy Alan – and allowed herself a small grin.

She’d get out of there, they’d find the hopefully not dead people she’d been in here to rescue (no bodies meant they’d been trapped elsewhere), and then go home where Virgil and Grandma would tut about her ankle and the boys would be lining up to yell at her for scaring them.

Her hand landed on something that wasn’t masonry.

Soft, warm, hopefully breathing.

“Hello?” she called, curling herself up in an awkward sitting position – her hair was brushing the underside of this section’s current ‘ceiling’; clearly it was no higher than the last.

No response, and she fumbled around to try and find their head.  Breathing but unconscious she could work with, even if she’d prefer them awake and well.

Bloody fingers found a throat – both head and body attached to it, which was always a good start. The collar of whatever they were wearing felt tough from the brief brush she had against it, but more important was the thump-thump, thump-thump of a pulse that tickled her torn fingertips. No doubt she was leaving lovely blood trails all over this person, but that was nothing a little bit of water couldn’t fix once they were out.

“Hello?” she tried again, tapping their cheek in the hope of getting a response.

A low groan greeted her, and she tried again.

“Hello, can you hear me?”

A longer groan; good, they were waking up.  She put a hand on their shoulder to steady them if they tried to move and froze.

They were wearing a sash. No, this wasn’t a sash.  She traced the smooth, familiar texture down with her fingers until they snagged on an imprinted section.

It was academic at this point, but she traced the imprint slowly, just to be sure.  Just to be absolutely sure that she hadn’t found one of the people she was supposed to be rescuing, but one of her own brothers.

iR.

Part 2

#sensorysunday #sensorysunday2020 #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds are go fanfiction #tsari writes fanfiction #kayo kyrano #pulse

[fencer-x]

Perhaps the end of an era

I don’t wanna think this was my last Promare movie viewing, but it might have been! The version with the Lio and Galo shorts attached plays pretty rarely these days, and it’s beginning to leave theaters again (though it’s starting at other theaters as well, so there’s hope!). Either way, this will probably have been my last viewing for at least a week or two at best.

On this one of my final viewings (sob), I did notice one new thing. Well, TWO new things, just the second one @shigacajun pointed it out first.

1) Lio does something with his Promare that no other Burnish does--and perhaps no other Burnish can: he can channel his Promare through the ground. He does this on three separate occasions throughout the movie: First, in the Lio-hen when he forces his Promare into the ground behind Gueira and Meis to have it pop up again in front of them, forming a shield to stop Freeze Force from attacking them (and them from attacking Freeze Force). Second, when he escapes the volcano and turns into the great white dragon and attacks Promepolis; he burrows through the ground, coming up from under the streets to attack the city and forcing his Promare up from under the ground. And finally, perhaps the one most people remember best, he does it when he’s trapped in Kray’s grip to shield Galo from Kray’s attack: he directs his Promare into the ground at Kray’s feet, and then it pops up again as a shield in front of Galo.

It’s a strange little affect, to me. The first time with Gueira and Meis, it made sense--he couldn’t shoot it ‘straight’ to make a shield because otherwise he’d hit them. The second time was really strange--why not just barrel straight into the city? And the final time was also weird: why not just...shoot his Promare straight at Galo’s feet and have it build a wall there? An animation affectation? Just cause it looked cool? idk, but the storywriter part of me likes to think that Lio’s ability to channel his Promare through the earth, instead of just the air like everyone else, means that in some alternate reality, he would’ve been working with scientists to calm the magma and avert catastrophe that way, as the only Burnish able to manipulate his Promare through solid rock and earth.

2) @shigacajun kept count this time, and apparently Galo de Lion punches the earth seven times before it gets better. Obviously a very important point XD But then I remembered that Galo takes seven steps to march toward Kray while protected by Lio’s Promare (this I remember because at every cheering event, everyone always counts the steps he takes one by one XDDD). And Galo’s Burning Rescue number is 07 (it was mentioned in some talk event, and you can also see it on Aina’s screen when she checks to see his status--his icon is at the bottom with 07 beside it). And when the trio are in Prometh’s underground facility, a series of lamps light their way. The number of lights shown? Seven.

Now, I’m not a Trigger fan (as in, I haven’t followed them or their works before this; also Trigger is 7 letters XD), so is this number a running theme for them? Or is it just a funny coincidence?

...Listen, when you’ve seen a movie this many times, YOUR MIND STARTS TO FOCUS ON THE ODDEST LITTLE THINGS. Tell me I’m not alone in this XD

Can anyone think of any other 7s in the movie? HEY, PROMARE IS ALSO SEVEN LETTERS.

#promare

[breakingsomething]

reunion

summary: marvin is back from anti, and he and jackie have a lot to say to each other.

if you’re confused i’ll link two other fics i wrote that kinda explain what’s happening: X X

trigger warnings: mentions of past suicide attempts, implied self harm

physically, marvin recovered quickly.

despite how bad he’d looked when they’d found him at anti’s house, he wasn’t that badly injured. his neck was bruised, his nose had been broken and he had several shallow cuts on his legs, but apart from that he seemed completely fine. henrik told all this to jackie while he lay in bed in the darkness, facing away from henrik, and he wondered why exactly anti hadn’t hurt marvin worse. he wanted to ask henrik more questions. he couldn't bring himself to speak. “he refused to take off his shirt,” henrik had murmured softly. “i assume he’s been hurt on his arms or chest as well, but i’ll have to wait until he sleeps again to get a look. i don’t know why he won’t show me, but i have to know he’s ok.”

and hearing those soft spoken words from his younger brother, who he knew greatly disliked marvin and had never spoken to him nicely before, almost broke jackie’s heart again.

“thanks.” he said quietly. he didn’t turn to face henrik.

a beat of silence. “do you need anything?” his brother asked.

jackie almost laughed. “‘m fine, hen. just need a bit of time to sort out some… some feelings.” he yawned exaggeratedly. “k? i’ll be alright.”

henrik took that as his cue to leave, closing the door gently behind him. 

marvin was a mess. “he wants to see you,” chase told him worriedly, wringing his hat in his hands and tapping his feet rapidly. 

jackie was sat on the stair above him, resting his head against the wall. he stared through the window at the bottom of the staircase, watching the neighbour’s christmas lights flash outside. he didn’t respond.

he heard chase breathe in loudly and blow out all the air out of his cheeks. jackie tried not to blink in case the tears welling up in his eyes slipped out.

chase saw. “bro. you’re gonna have to talk to him eventually.” when jackie continued to stay silent, chase moved up to next to jackie and placed a gentle hand on his knee. he flinched, and chase pulled away. they were silent.

jackie hugged himself, rubbing his arms for comfort. he felt ashamed of the tears now rolling down his cheeks, and pressed the side of his face into the wall.

after a moment chase left him alone on the staircase.

he knew chase was right. he couldn’t avoid this forever. just a week ago jackie would have sold his soul just to see marvin again, but now he had the chance to, why wasn’t he? he wished he knew. everything in his mind felt so confusing. jackie wished he could find the strength to form the right words.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry i wasn’t there for you. i’m sorry i wasn’t good enough. i’m sorry i didn’t listen, i’m sorry you felt you could only find solace in anti of all people, i’m sorry i was such an asshole, i’m sorry…

it was four days before he got up the courage to talk to him.

marvin was no longer confined to his bed, but mostly stayed in his room, not getting up even to get food or water. chase brought things to him while he slept- henrik had done it once, and marvin had screamed at him to leave him alone. “he caught me trying to get a look at his arms and got very upset.” henrik had admitted to jackie. now only chase went to see him. it stayed like that until one night, when jackie was getting up to go to the bathroom, and he noticed marvin’s bedroom door wide open. he wasn’t inside. instantly, jackie was on high alert; had marvin left, gone back to anti again, or worse? he rushed downstairs as quietly as he could, careful not to wake anyone, and peeked into the kitchen in case marvin had gotten up for a glass of water. only chase was there, asleep on the table with his phone in hand. the front door was slightly open.

marvin was sat on the front steps, his hair in a lazy ponytail, a blanket wrapped round his shoulders. he was staring blankly across the street, his eyes fixed on nothing, and jackie could have just turned back and marvin wouldn’t have noticed.  but suddenly, seeing his once vibrant, larger than life brother so small and broken looking stabbed jackie in the chest. how could this have happened to him? without thinking, jackie took a deep breath. “hey.”

marvin whipped round, and the look of fear on his face dissolved into shock, then sadness. he replied in a voice cracked with disuse, “hey.”

jackie nodded. he plopped down next to marvin, too afraid to look closely at him in case he started crying again. the only sounds were the wind whipping through the trees in front of their flat and a few cars rolling by, rumbling through the slush on the road.

“i’ve been thinking about what i’d say to you if i saw you again for the full year you were gone,” jackie finally spoke. he didn’t take his eyes off the blinking multicoloured lights across the street. “but now that we’re here, i don’t know what to say.”

marvin sniffed. jackie looked down; he hadn’t put on shoes, and his socked feet were cold. he let out a trembling sigh.

“it was difficult without you here,” he said softly. “every day was like- i’d wake up and be forced to remember you were gone, and it felt like… like ice in my bones. cold and heavy. and i… i missed you.” he threw back his head and blinked rapidly.

“jackie.” and fuck, if hearing him say his name didn’t cause the tears to spill over, warm against his cold cheeks. “i have… no right to have missed you. but i did, i did, i knew i had made a mistake. i wish i could say sorry, and...”

a sudden wave of fury washed over jackie. “you wish you could say sorry? really?” out the corner of his eye, he sees marvin jump at his sudden anger, which only fueled his emotions. he dug his fingers into his legs, shaking.

“a fucking year, marvin. a goddamn- a fucking year you were gone and we assumed the worst. we mourned you, do you understand that? we were even- we were gonna stop searching after christmas. we were gonna accept you were dead and move on. do you know how much that fucking hurt, marvin? do you know-” a sharp intake of breath, salt on his lips. “do you know what you did to us?”

“i know, i never meant-”

“you don’t know!” jackie finally faced marvin, who was clinging to his blanket with white hands. “you could never fucking understand how badly that- how that fucked with my mind!” he could barely see for the tears and rage clouding his vision. “i thought it was my fault, i still fucking do, because what else was i supposed to think? every fucking day i cried over you, i stared at the wall for hours just thinking about what possible horrors anti could be putting you through, i laid in bed for- for days, marvin, i couldn’t get up because every area of the house had a memory of you attached to it, you were fucking everywhere, my head was like, i felt like, i wasn’t even-” jackie couldn’t breathe, he gasped for air and sobbed loudly, feeling lightheaded. “i’m sorry i was never good enough!”

with that, he completely broke. he couldn't stop the sobs wracking his chest, loud gasps ripping from his throat, trying to breathe, inhaling shakily only to remember why he was crying and almost screaming from the pain in his mind. he was hyperventilating, his whole body trembling, and he wrapped his arms around himself as tightly as he could. he was painfully aware of marvin beside him, watching him collapse into himself.

then he felt a hand on his shoulder. and fuck, after so long of not letting anyone touch him, it was pure bliss. he melted into marvin’s touch, and his brother took that as an invitation to throw his arms around him, shaking, tears soaking jackie’s hoodie. they stayed like that, holding each other for the first time in a year, the warmth of each other shielding them from the winter cold.

“i’m sorry,” came marvin’s small voice from where his face was buried in jackie’s chest. “i knew i would hurt you but i didn’t think- i didn’t think. i didn’t- i thought it was for the best.” he let out a small gasp and shudders, his fingers digging into jackie’s back. “i thought i was doing the right thing, i didn’t know, by the time i realised…”

“shh, shh,” jackie comforted. “it’s ok, i know, it’s ok.”

all the anger had completely left him. he was left with just the grief, the emptiness, the sense of loss. he rubbed marvin’s back, his fingers tracing gentle circles around his shoulderblades.

“i tried to end it,” marvin whispered, and it takes a moment for a jolt of realisation to shoot through jackie as he realised what he meant. “anti gave me a knife, a pocket knife, for a- a job, and he forgot to take it back afterwards, and besides, i’m sure he didn’t think i’d- dapper was asleep, he couldn’t stop me, anti got so angry at him for not stopping me…” he dissolved into silent tears again, and jackie glanced at the glowing lights in the windows of happy families, normal families, families that weren’t plagued by grief and monsters. his salty tears burned the wound on his lip from rescuing marvin several days prior. he held marvin tight.

“is that why you wouldn’t let henrik see your arms?” he asked quietly, the way marvin tenseed at the name not escaping his notice.

“yeah,” he sniffled. “i’m sorry, i’m pathetic, this is my own fault and i shouldn’t be crying-”

“shush now, don’t say that,” jackie consoled, and his heart ached at his brother’s pain, pain he could have prevented, pain he shouldn’t have had to go through.  “you’re allowed to cry. you made a mistake, that’s all, that’s all, it’s ok.”

neither of them knew how long they stayed huddled together on the steps, but it was long enough for them to fall asleep, jackie slumped against the doorway, marvin laying on his chest.

jackie woke to chase shaking him. 

“you dumbasses, did you two really sleep out here?” chase hissed, trying to gently nudge marvin into consciousness. “i wanted you two to get along again, but not like- marvin, hey, hey, bro, you gotta get up. you also left the door open last night,” he said, directing the last part at jackie. “practically an invitation to any bastard that wanted to steal our shit. let the cold in, too.”

“like we couldn’t take a burglar,” jackie murmured blearily, only half awake. the wind ruffled his hair, and he shivered. if he and marvin got sick, henrik would absolutely kill him. oh, well. “have you forgotten who i am? i’m fucking…” he yawned, the tears from last night catching up with him and making his head pound. “i’m jackieboy man, bitch.”

“are you?” said chase, raising an eyebrow.  jackie looked down at marvin, who was just starting to stir, soft whimpers escaping his lips, his face creased with anxiety even in his sleep. and fuck, jackie couldn’t believe he considered leaving him just because he was petty and angry, he couldn’t believe that there was an alternate timeline somewhere in which this moment didn’t happen. he was suddenly filled with warmth that in this universe, at least, he made what he knows was the right desicion.

“i am now.”

#heehoo......... #jacksepticeye #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #boop writes #arc three: righting wrongs

[asknightmareanderror]

About Myself - No. 1

So, this is something I’ve wanted to do for a couple weeks.

As the title says, I’m going to write about myself. I’m writing this at one in the morning and, to be honest, I’m bored and tired. I probably will do multiple of these, so, this is the first. (Mind you, these facts will probably jump around a lot, too.)

As most people, not all, I am an awkward weirdo who likes to be alone. Maybe that just comes with being a teenager? I don’t know, haha.

My name is Laura, Thunfire0605/asknightmareanderror here, and I have Aspergers, Type 1 Diabetes, selective mutism and ASD.

I’m fifteen years old, coming sixteen in May. I have a snake called Miikun, a border terrier called Lucky and three chickens named Scrappy, Crystal and Bobby (Bobby’s female). Scrappy and Bobby are rescue chickens, retired from being battery hens.

I have an older sister called Rebecca, a younger sister called Skye and a five year old brother named Fynn. My Mum is german and my Dad is scottish, I live in Scotland.

I downright love Undertale and FNaF (obviously). I have over 300 drafts of stories on Quotev, and have only published four because I’m a nervous, cheesy beano.

I don’t go to school any more, after dropping out in the third year of high school (anxiety overdrive). I go to a group for learning twice a week, for an hour at a time. That was where I met my girlfriend who’s in the same boat as me with anxiety.

I draw on my bedroom’s walls, of Pokemon and fanart of FNaF and Undertale.

I would like to have goats, more dogs (Lucky’s eleven in July and hates other dogs). I cried for an hour when I saw a dog I wanted be reserved, all because of a couple photos and a small video of him. I get too attached to animals easily.

Chief was in an animal shelter, SSPCA, and all I did was beg my Mum to give Lucky a chance.

Last time we attempted to get a dog in the house, it didn’t go well. Tank, now Buster, wasn’t even introduced to Lucky. (I went into a tangent, oh lord...)

I first got into the Undertale fandom after watching Jacksepticeye play it and crying at the end of the true pacifist ending. (I’m a crybaby, I know.) I got the game, played right through to said ending and it still hits me to this day.

FNaF...I can’t honestly remember how I got into it but, despite everything, it’s nice to see the fandoms are still alive.

Deltarune...well, I played it and loved it. The ending made me feel sick in the stomach and I haven’t touched the game since, not wanting to feel that same feeling again. I loved the characters though, but I will always prefer Undertale over it.

I never completed the genocide run in Undertale, managing to get to Sans after constantly resetting because I felt bad and, again, sick in the stomach. (Did anyone else feel like that?) Whenever the text ‘But nobody came...’ appeared, it would get worse. So, I stopped at Sans, all because I can’t bring myself to kill the short skeleton.

As cheesy as it is, Sans is one of those special characters that’s just relatable to me. Again, cheese on top of cheese, I grew to love him and all of his alternate universe’s. (Apart from you, Fresh, I will side with Error.)

Clearly, Error is my favourite out of everyone. With my Aspergers, social interaction is difficult, but I love joking around with the people I’m comfortable with. Touch is difficult also and he’s probably the most relatable skeleton to me.

Mentally deranged, anxiety and everything on top. I suppose that’s the reason why I’m so attached to all the Sans’s (Again, Fresh, go away). Honestly, I think everyone is a bit of every AU of Sans, like they’re seperate personalities or something.

I actually used to dislike Ink, for...weird reasons. I just sided with Error, understanding his issues. (Edgy teenager inbound) It’s also partially why I hate Fresh.

Fresh is just the opposite of me, he’s outgoing and doesn’t care about anything. As for myself, I have nervous breakdowns nearly every day about the dumbest of things.

Nightmare feels like that type of demon who’s always lingering over my shoulder.

Speaking of demons... (edgy teenager inbound) I can do a very deep, demonic voice and...I think I might scare people when I’m out on my walks.

See, I tend to talk along with comics and sing to songs when I’m walking, and...that voice is the one I mainy go for when there’s a dark point, even if it does destroy my voice box.

Moving on from that, I have severe archnaphobia. Not so much for the tiny spiders but common house spiders just scare me. Yet, for some reason, tarantulas mesmerize me. Sure, I probably wouldn’t want to come across one in my house (which won’t happen as I’m in Scotland) but they just seem a lot more...friendly?

I’m scared of large crowds, loud noises, social interaction and school.

So, that’s the end of this ‘about me’ (therapy session), cutting it short because I’ve just realized I’ve been writing for over an hour. How? I’ve been watching videos in between.

I’m tired, so, I’m going to go to bed now and probably sleep for twelve hours.

Love y’all! <3

#about me #facts #fear #phobias #facts about myself #facts about me #writing #random #random stuff #fnaf #undertale #deltarune #pokemon #undertale au's #alternate universes #tired #bedtime #family #will do more #pets #goodnight #demons #asknightmareanderror

[im-tops-bottom]

Natasha opens the door after the bell is rung and sees a crying baby. She picks up the basket and brings it inside. She picks up the baby and calms it down. Keeps it warm as it's only got a nappy on.

Natasha's husband Clint picks up the letter and reads it.

"dear hopefully kind hearted people,

This is my son Tony. Me and my husband Howard weren't planning on a baby. He got drunk one night and had sex with me. He is obviously gay and we only married so no one found out otherwise this would cause a scandal.

He doesn't know about the baby and hopefully never finds out. He said that if I ever got pregnant then he would kill the baby and divorce me making sure I never get a job or house ever again.

Please look after him and make sure he turns into a bright young lad. As soon as he is old enough on the back is my number so he can call me and we can sit down and talk about everything he wants to know.

I have a necklace with a photo of me under his pillow so he knows what I look like. Then again with Stark Industries he will know soon enough who his parents look like. Do not let him make contact with his father.

If anything should ever happen to me then please contact his Aunt Peggy. The number is also on the back.

Apologies dear people and i cant begin to thank you enough. I understand if you don't want to keep him but please keep him and everything safe when you find a nice loving home.

Love Maria Stark"

Natasha and Clint take a look at each other and let out a smile.

"I'll do some quick baby shopping"

"and I'll order in the furniture for tomorrow. I think we have a baby pouch in the fridge from when your niece and nephew came over"

"okay Tony dad is just going down the road"

Baby tony looks up and grabs Clint's index finger and giggles. Clint smiles before kissing Tony's forehead and leaves.

Natasha gets to online shopping while playing around with the baby waiting for Clint to come back with clothes, nappies and food.

"Tony we are your new parents now. Don't you worry about a thing because we will take real good care of you"

As Tony grows up he is taught different forms of fighting, how to be a great assassin, interrogate, how to live through a torture with fight left, how to use different types of weapons (especially bows) and instruments as well as how to dance, sing, draw, and several different languages.

Tony becomes really smart from a young age and in his spare time he loves doing science and creating stuff. He also learns first aid so he is prepared for almost any kind of situation.

Natasha and Clint spend most of their time mother Henning and being over protective of Tony. Teaches him how to respect people who deserve it and how to be sassy. They loved him like he was actually their own.

By the time Tony is 15 is when he asks about his real parents. They sit down and talk about everything that happened. Tony thanks them for telling the truth.

Next day they get a surprise visit from none other than a Peggy Carter. Peggy explains that Howard had found out about Tony and murdered his mother. She gives them coordinates on a safe house owned by a company called shield.

Peggy tells Nat and Clint that Shield have been after the two for awhile. Not to take down but to recruit. Tells them not to be surprised if someone from shield comes in every now and again.

When they ask why they have to move Peggy gives them a small smile and tells them that Howard knows where they are.

"At first he wanted to murder Tony however Hydra got a hold of Howard and now they are working together to bring Tony In as both sides made their own version of super soldier serums. There were 2 friends who joined they army but had split during the fight. One was Steve Rogers who became Captain America and the other is Bucky Barnes also known as the Winter Soldier"

"wait hold on are they still working for them? We are trained assassin's and have gone up against the Winter Soldier. There's no way we can go up against 2 super Soldiers"

"have no fear Natasha. Steve rescued Bucky and they did a runner when everything went downhill. Shield recruited them. Bucky has gone through brainwashing and torture so our team are finding ways to help him out. The mind wipes had been doing the most harm"

"wait a minute I have an idea"

"Clint no! We are not doing that to him. No way. We trained him incase something happened to us not so he can do shit like this"

"mum it's okay. I think I know what dad is trying to say"

"what's happening?"

"Aunt Peggy right? Your the aunty my real mum said i should contact if anything were to happen to her"

"that's right"

"great. So I have a blue print of a machine that I want to create. It would help with the memories. The only problem is I don't have the things I need to create it. If I can do that for him then maybe we can have it as payback for you guys giving us a place to stay."

"and what's the catch?"

"well I don't trust people around my things except for mum and dad. I would need full access to everything, be kept alone while building it, only access being mum and dad until it finishes and I would also need to meet this winter soldier fella so I can do some readings and tests on him."

"what about tests?"

"I'll be testing it on myself and if you could find me some people with memory issues then that would be great"

"deal"

"I don't like this. Not one bit. Trust is something hard to come by"

"I understand but let us prove that we have very good intentions"

"I'm going to regret this. Fine. Ok guys let's pack up everything. Nothing is to be left behind."

"we have a quinjet waiting out back so you guys can bring all the stuff there. We also have hands on deck"

"great then get them to do the heavy lifting while we pack"

"Steve! Bucky! Come on in! We need all hands on deck"

"they're here?"

....

Everything has been going well. Steve, Tony and Bucky have been getting along. Natasha still has trust issues but has decided that she can work for shield. Clint also decides to work for them.

The machine now known as BARF is built and all the tests are done. On Tony's 18th birthday is when everything is complete and a day later they use it Bucky.

They would have given it more time but Stark Industries and Hydra have located the main SHIELD building and is planning an attack to bring back their super Soldiers and Tony.

The machine works and Bucky recovers most of his memories. Tony manages after some hard work to remove the trigger words attached to Bucky's mind. He also puts in a word to send Bucky to sleep just in case it doesn't work. Tony also uses the machine on Steve just in case.

Since working alongside each other everyone has started noticing that Steve and Bucky have become very protective of shields new baby genius. It really shows when tragedy strikes.

2 days before Tony turns 19 is when Hydra strikes. There have been a lot of casualties between Hydra and shield. They couldn't capture the super Soldiers but managed to grab Tony who got hurt from the blast.

Tony is sent to one of their business partners in Afghanistan where he gets a battery in his chest to keep him alive while he gets tortured. They never give their names just in case. They send a video to shield telling them that they have tony and will keep him alive if shield hands over the super Soldiers.

Bucky growls at the video as a spoon breaks in his metal hand as soon as he sees the battery in Tony's chest. Steve hugs him promising that they will get him back.

The group that has Tony finds out he is very smart and tells him to build them some weapons. Tony is tortured beyond what he can handle because his parents never taught him how to handle this kind of torture. He says yes and gets tortured a week later when they find out he built something better to keep himself alive first. After someone is shot in front of him, he gets a new person to help. Yinsen who is a doctor that was taken from his family.

They devise a plan to make an armor with weapons to break them out. they plan it out as they make shitty weapons for their kidnappers.

It's not until a few weeks later once the suit is built is when trouble strikes. The kidnappers find out about the plan and murder Yinsen on the spot before Tony could reach his suit.

They are just about to shoot Tony when bullets come flying through their heads sending them to the ground. Tony looks up in surprise to see who is standing there.

"Bucky"

"come on let's get out of here"

Tony smiles as he runs over to his suit.

"meet me outside. I got something I want to test trial first"

"Tony now is not the time"

"Bucky trust me. I got this"

"fine but if you aren't back out in the next 10 minutes then I'm sending Steve in and you don't want that"

"absolutely not. See you soon"

Tony watches Bucky go before he gets into his suit.

"this better work"

Much to Tony's delight the suit turns on and he can feel his arc reactor vibrating as it powers the suit.

"I'm gonna need to work on that one when I get home"

....

Bucky is surprised when he looks up and sees people running out of the cave. He notices a machine come out and snorts because he saw it in the cell Tony was kept in.

"everyone weapons down, that's Tony"

He watches Tony set off flamethrowers from his arms turning everyone into kebabs before he destroys the weapons and tanks waiting outside. The enemies are done for.

"wait where is Tony going?"

Bucky notices steve following his line of sight to see Tony flying up in the air. 5 seconds later a large rocket flies past Tony and he starts chasing it.

"eyes on Tony. Follow him and do not let him out of your sights. The idiot is going after the rocket"

"as soon as we are done here, he is absolutely grounded"

After 20 minutes they find Tony in an open desert surrounded by broken parts of what looks like his suit. The quinjet lands and Steve races out to collect the genius who is unconscious.

As soon as they are on the jet, Steve and Bucky sit by Tony's side protecting him until they reach a new shield building where Tony is rushed to the medical bay.

They find out that whatever is in Tony's chest is acting like a magnet and keeping a piece of shrapnel away from his heart. They try to take the magnet out and race to put it back in as they see the shrapnel moving.

As soon as Tony wakes up, he demands to be taken to a lab. He's surprised when they tell him that he has his very own lab. Steve and Bucky requested it for a welcome back present.

"speaking of, where are they?"

"after rescuing you, they stayed by your side until Agent Carter demanded they get some sleep. I was to inform everyone on when you wake up."

"great then inform them as soon as I'm taking down to my lab"

"but t-"

"no buts just do it."

Tony is shown his new lab and locks the door as soon as he gets in. He gets to work right away.

"ok let's see if we ha-"

"good afternoon sir"

Tony jolts before looking everywhere.

"who's there?"

"I am an artificial intelligence known as Jarvis. I was created to learn and help you with anything you may need. No matter where you are I can be installed into whatever device or room you want."

"great we'll get to know one another and I'll question my sanity soon but first help me out here"

"what would you like help with boss?"

"I need to build a new arc reactor because this one in my chest won't last long. Oh and I want to open up another project called hmmmm tin man? Nahhhh that sounds dumb. Robot man? Nah. RoboCop? No I call Buckaroo that. Hmm hey Jarvis what would a good project name be for a robotic suit I'm about to make"

"iron man has a good ring to it"

"hmm that will do for now I suppose. I won't be making all my suits out of that."

"Project Iron Man is underway"

#part 1 #i think #its going to be a stuckony one #i will update every other day #for now hold on tight #and enjoy the ride #clintasha are a okay