#why cant I have a friendship like that

[fairycosmos]

like i say it all the time but i can't stress it enough. how do other people do it

#and everyones like ohhh we're all struggling no one is rly coping and i get that but fundamentally you are #able to develop friendships and relationships and hold down jobs and take care of yourself at least at a basic level i dont know why #i cant i dont know why one single meeting takes it all out of me i dont know why i cant control my facial expressions properly or say the #right thing ever i just dont know #i dont know why i dont date i dont know why i hardly have friends i dont know why leaving the house exhausts me to the bone i dont know why #im not fun to be around

[nuppu-nuppu]

Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again

#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining #once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol #like idk how to be friends #i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely #and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have #actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality #i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again #because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it #pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic #how do i start living again #how does one live anyway #im just in my head all the time #this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness #im so stupid!!! #im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself #im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself #but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go #idk how to be a person anymore #i’m just sad #thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol

[pansear-doodles]

imposter syndrome is a bitch

it can happen to artists you think are already enough or are skilled and great in your eyes

as much as it motivates us to improve ourselves and do better, its still not a pleasant feeling at all

its a persistent cycle of admiring someone who doubts themselves and i dont think its selfish to think that "you're not good enough"

because life has been cruel to us and for most of our lives we've been taught to "suck it up" or that we fear that our outputs are invalid in some way or mean nothing to anyone- the outputs that have parts of ourselves in it, even if it isn't meant to take a part of ourselves- it still came from us nonetheless

posts can easily say that you should be kind to yourself more but when it comes to trauma and something that's been with you since childhood, it's not as simple to shake off

it can take years and years- varies for every individual- and even then the people around you, the world and even yourself will change

as much as its awkward or a downer to see, be kind to artists who are hard on themselves. its not your obligation to give them attention. no, i dont think every single person who sees a vent post should come up to the person and be there for them to cry on their shoulder.

i just think at the very least we should understand that every single person you meet and the artists you admire are imperfect, and they will continue to think crappy thoughts about themselves- unlike in fantasies where its some simple character arc that is a story obstacle that can be overcome and forgotten about- fantasy is meant to be a fulfillment- a desire.

we are real human beings, but we can learn and grow and live.

#this is unfortunately why some of my friendships ended. this insecurity has controlled a lot of my life but im trying to break from it #often id see people with the bigger numbers and i tell myself to be better or if im not good enough. i cant help but feel that #“trauma isnt an excuse” for shitty behavior towards others? yes. but for people thinking crap about themselves and cant help it? not really #do you think i can be not sad at the flick of a switch? you assume i can emotionally cope well as much as everyone else simply? why? #anyway to all of my mutuals who think harshly of themselves. youre all alright. we are all here to have a good time. take things slow. #this might just me being silly neurodivergent again but there's nothing wrong with being careful like this. it *may* just be me after all #but who knows but me #thoughts

[the-meme-monarch]

ok newsletter euphoria has worn off i hate love again

#why is sccs relationship ambiguous. confim theyre siblings Please. i need more characters who Cant be shipped. #characters just Saying theyre friends And Nothing More isnt enough for some reason. #them Saying theyre friends doesn work unfortunately. let peole be friends let people &characters exist outside the lense of romance shut up #sorry. i saw a post and have been bitter abt it. it wasn’t even utdr it was abt the owlhouse #romance is not 'the next step' after friendship. romance is not 'a better version' of a friendship. ill kill you #AND YEAH YES FRIENDSHIP IS A SPECTRUM. LOVE COMES IN SHADES. QPRS BLUR THE LINES. #but im Tired of people acting like platonic bonds are lesser. im tired of friendships in media Having to turn into a romance or Secretly be #im tired of characters fucking Existing in th same space and people going 'oh theyre in love' where. where. #'what about c/apsei' its funny. you guys cant even make your ships funny.

[hecksupremechips]

Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?

#persona #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #shinjiro aragaki #i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it #that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically #and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks #plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know #and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship #and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live #cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for #youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone #its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back #its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing #kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh #and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has #idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like #akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance #grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together #kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the #meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies

[turtletoria]

i feel like an incredible hater for this but i feel as i get older the more my tolerance for shipping decreases. like i went from an avid enjoyer to just tolerating ship art to now getting outright upset and fighting the urge to curse every time i see shipping content (this doesnt apply to my mutuals and friends who ship things because they can do no wrong ever)

#idk why it boils my blood like that. like genuinely it makes my online enjoyment really take a steep nosedive since 99.9% of any fandom- #content is shipping #maybe its the hater in me. maybe its the aroace tendencies in me. maybe im just antisocial and disagreeable. idk! #like shipping isnt morally bad or anything it just makes me so sad. idk #like ppl always prioritize romance over friendship and make fun of friendships as if they arent gay enough or smth and it rlly hurts me. id #like idk how to say it. everyone can have fun and stuff but it rlly makes me feel like im having fun wrong bc shipping looks fun but i cant #stomach it. like i miss having fun like that but i cant stand it anymore #like friendships r so devalued and even in frienship is magic type media friendships STILL take a backseat like whats up with that #like i hope this isnt coming across like a “i hate romance! i hate love!” kind of post but more so a why dont ppl focus on characters if - #they cant be romantically involved? #like i will alwaayyss be bitter abt willow from toh getting sidelined until she could be shipped with hunter like that pissed me off so bad #but like ur fave characters cant stand alone they neeeed to be romantically involved with someone for their love or dedication to be real #like love and dedication cant be genuine unless theyre romantically or sexually attracted? idk man #talking abt this is tricky bc u can fall into anti-sex/conservative rhetoric with this but i hope u can understand what im saying #like sex is great and romantic love is great but i wish the greater public would just have some freedom to explore concepts of dedication- #and trust that go beyond that framework. like there was a comment on reddit that framed aroace as the nonbinary of relationships and I- #thought that was really neat. yeah

[thelastharbinger]

Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)

Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.

"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."

Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!

O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.

Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.

Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.

Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.

The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.

The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.

Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.

"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"

Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.

"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.

"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"

The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???

"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."

"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.

"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).

Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.

Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!

Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.

"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.

Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.

"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.

The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.

The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.

Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.

"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!

A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.

Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.

Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.

Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.

Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.

"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.

"Snitch!"

Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!

Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.

Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.

#hi. ive seen this movie 8x in theaters and twice on pirating sites. i am unwell #also sorry not sorry for the miguel slander. i am a miles loyalist thru and thru thst bitch is on thin ice #but also literally can't get over gwen “it really is so nice to get to talk to you. me & him its different. in every other universe...stacy #cause directly underneath that she's actually saying. “i missed you. and what i have with you i literally do not have with anyone else and. #you dont know this but ive met hundreds and thousands of spiderpeople. nd even in my friendship with hobie its not like what i have with yo #and im actually really smitten with you. the one person i shouldn't be smitten with bc there is no happy ending for us. and idk... #if i should hold off. and im letting you know all this so that you can decide for me. whether to take that lesp of faith or not with you. & #hope that say yes and make the first move so that i cant but help to just sink into you.“ #AND IT MAKES SENSE! SHE MET HIM JUST AS HE WAS LIVING THROUGH AN EXPERIENCE SHE DID. OF BECOMING SPIDEY. AND RIGHT AFTER #SUFFERING THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF HER LIFE WHICH SHE WAS ABOUT TO BEAR WITNESS THRU WITH HIM. SHE WAS THERE FOR HIS UNCLE DYING AND WATCHED #HIM BECOME SPIDERMAN. WE FORGET THAT THEY ACTUALLY WENT THRU SOME HEAVY THINGS TOGETHER. THEYRE TRAUMABONDED. I KNOW THATS NOT WHAT THAT WO #ACTUALLY MEANS. BUT IT MAKES SENSE THAT SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO MILES BC THEY PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND EO. #anyways idk why im shouting. im high rn. but crazy how all of that meaning was subtly thrown in there. like we got a confession scene folks #from gwen of all people! i love that for me. #also back to miguel: so i know he's hot. but if a hot person were to ever be rude to a waiter we agree theyre no longer hot right? right. #atsv #miles morales #itsv #miguel o'hara #the spot #ghostflower #gwiles #gwen stacy #ghost spider #gwen x miles #rio morales #across the spider verse #into the spider verse

[angellurgy]

squeak

#when i am gone it will be no more impactful than a tree falling in a forest with no one to hear it. #my death will have a meaninglessly small impact on this world. maybe it'll have a larger impact on the incorporeal. #there is something in my soul. something hungry. a serpent of unstoppable magnitude held captive in my stomach. #it wont stop until it or i kill us both will it? like a cancer. #im so deeply sorry im so bad at responding to everyone's kind messages. even more so sorry for what will eventually happen next #i have some plans. to excise this tumor that is myself. to rid the world of this putrid filth girl who is nothing but a drain on her compan #we'll see what happens. at least i got my body to a point of self approval before. at least i tried music. at least i tried to be me. #even if it changed nothing. at least im more secure in my being. if only the people around me werent so emotionally far. if only we cld tal #if only i could live with my self approval instead of loving and wanting so dearly. instead of having a mind corrupted by love #and friendship #i was so much. i know you all barely know anything about me in reality. if i asked any you'd probably just list off kinks and species. #but still. ty those who'll remember yk... #and as backup. if it doesnt work. well. please dont hate me. im just a girl who needs out. and cant keep her thoughts inside more #i hope i can be happy in the afterlife. i hope i can see these angels and maybe be one myself. #gonna put a post on top of this to hide it from brand new ppl lookjng at my blog. bc yeah. you all dont need to hear all of this #its the last one of these for this period either way #god i wish i couldve gone to toronto. i want to so bad still. god. why did i have to realize my hopelessness now of all times #bye

[the-knife-consumer]

Grah as someone who does sort of like zelink its just??? Disappointing? Disheartening? That people are SO hellbent on them being an explicitly romantic couple and getting mad at others for being like "oh i just see them as friends :)" and coming onto people's posts where they are portrayed as friends or just close with no romance and being like "uuuum actually theyre MARRIED theyre in a RELATIONSHIP! BC OBVIOUSLY you can NEVER share a house with someone without being married! Zelink canon 😏 cope seethe🔥" like do you understand how painfully annoying that is

#yaddayadda as someone who is usually averse to romance but has VERY close friends and plans to room with #a friend to not be painfully lonely and have platonic companionship its just. ugh. #'oh they lived in the same house and probably shared a bed! so romance obviously!' ... implying that in order #to be allowed that comfort you HAVE to be romantically involved with that person. no other way for that to happen. #ugh its just. like do not get me wrong i do like zelink but it is a bit 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 why.. why are you people being so #weird. i dont know to exactly put it into words but cmon man. that thing where people #try and treat friendship qpr and romance as entirely seperate things that can NEVER overlap its just. UUUGGH #and where they like. say that friends can only behave like this and they cant do this bc if they do then theyre a couple. #uuuugghhh SHUT UP AND EXPLODE RIGHT NOW #just the idea that friendship is inherently lesser than romance in some way is SO gross yucky bad uuugghh

[moonilit]

what yall talking about? Kaveh doesn't have a 'sad' backstory he just got some struggles, like that what the average human being go through

#which is like not bad #i was underwhelmed at first but it was still in the realm of what i expected for his character #maybe spoilers from here in the tags: #honestly it mad me appreciate his friendship with Ahatham more lol #he needs someone who is so crude to just throw reality at his face once in a while because he cant #like you are just nice because you feel a lot of guilt not because you are just nice dude #and that shock him to the core?? #yeah he needed to hear it #its ok Kaveh you should go to therapy and work that guilt out AND you can still wake up everyday to 'choose' to be a nicer person #its just there is no therapy in tyvat that's all #i still dont get why i see you all type 'i cried' #also know i have the hc that he is highly ticklish because of the wording in his character story #'if you tapped in weak points he will collapse' #kaveh #genshin impact

[ronancebyler]

based on this

#me disliking the treatment of sapphic ships in st canon and fanon is not the same as me hating rockie/vickie #i like rockie bc their scene together was CUTE #the way robin looked at vickie??? precious #i can believe all that and still be upset about how sapphic relationships are treated on the show #the canon lesbian in the show and her canon bi love interest barely screentime together #mileven and byler both had huge focus #stancy and jancy had arcs #lumax had a whole thing #even jargyle and elmaxs platonic relationship had more time together than rockie did #and elmax werent even in the same place together #if argyle had greater focus with jonathan when their friendship is largely irrelavent to their arcs at this point in the show #and rockie got a total of five minutes of screen time then we cant deny their treatment as a ship being just horrible in the canon #what if instead of argyle being a mc vickie was? #or what if they BOTH were new mcs #theyve added mcs before #why not now? #oh yeah bc then wlw ships will be important #and we cant have that! #does this count as anti rockie? #robin buckley #vickie stranger things #virgil shut up challenge #i have seen the best of queue and the worst of queue and i choose both

[andrewknightley]

i know the gale fans that are like "i CANT NOT romance him again every game" must be joking but just in case you should check out his friendship dialogue cause it's so fucking good.

you know it would be easier for the devs to have the same dialogue and add more to it if you romance him, but i really appreciate the specific friendship dialogue!

#i also checked how this scene is if you are neutral with him. and it is sad. you cant convince him. #anyways i love how he is angry like FUCK YOU WHY DID YOU GIVE ME FRIENDSHIP AND THINGS TO CARE ABOUT #i did watched some vids of full gale romance and maybe is the lesbian in me but bestie gale is just soooooo good cant be beaten #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #gale of waterdeep #did u guys know i love friendship #and when in stories they dont have friendship as lesser form of romance but they give it different high quality stuff

[332-442]

How do you stop coming across as angry 😭

[aroacettorney]

dont mind me. im simply just putting together a ludgercasey angst collection.

252

265

203

268

271

283

310

356

492

497

#aro ludgercasey propaganda #''why cant u be normal abt them'' how can i be normal abt them when solid 80% of their interactions is either angst or stemmed from angst. #even their ''fluff'' moments were also angst. #literally no one does angst like they do. #ludger prefers to keep most of his connections extremely impersonal/professional. #but whether or not he wants to admit it theirs on the other hand simply does not... fit in that category. #he'd even tried to convert it that way but it just didnt stick bc neither of them could help but be themselves around each other lmfao. #ludger is seemly still oblivious to caseys attempt to mend their personal relationship. #which is not too surprising considering he was also oblivious to the existence of their past relationship. #after all there was no reason for him to believe that casey would want to have anything to do with him. except maybe putting him in jail. #so pushing her away seems to be the most logical decision right? personal relationship is a luxury to him anyway. #alas casey who wanted to believe in their past friendship takes it as a sign that ludger has no interest in maintaining it. #she now has to take a step back because ''if you force a relationship it may become more estranged.'' #so unless he takes the initiative they are likely stuck in this limbo. #(casey might use impersonal excuses to stay around but rn its all up to ludger to change the nature of their relationship) #casey girlie forget him i would have treated you so much better... is what i would have loved to say. #i wouldnt be suffering this much if ludger wasnt clearly holding himself back most of the time / if it was completely one-sided from casey. #i dont know if this is a slow burn or hurt no comfort but if casey gets no closure im gonna commit arson 😔

[autisticlee]

I feel as if, maybe, autistic people get hurt and confused and generally affected by ghosting more than anyone else, yet we are the ones who receive that treatment the most often

#autism things #autistic #autism #actually autistic #maybe its just me....i know Everyone Experiences It. but it feels like it happens to us more #it happens to me and other autistics ive met more than anyone else....or maybe we just notice it more? #because it can affect us stronger? it gives me severe cptsd and rsd. other autistics have told me the same #allistics (or NTs?) ive met who are ghosted are mad for like a day then never mention it again #i get slapped with whole flashbacks to every moment it's ever happened to me and relive those times again and again #ghosting wether intentional or not really fucking destroys me against my will #i cant just GeT oVeR iT. and no matter how much i beg someone to never do it to me and make them promise...they still do it #every fucking time. 98% of my friendships end in me being ghosted and not knowing why and not getting answers and #then it adds to my cptsd mess that haunts me for life. its so cool! people are so nice !!!!! :DDDD thanks for doing this to me! 🤠 #lee rambles

[disastersteps]

oh yeah its been a bit, i want to show that anita's thinking position in that comic cover i made is similar to aoyun (their puppet)'s pose hence. it's really just anita. that's them.

this is them when they think or plan about what to do next, etc. etc. <:3c

#fhr #sidestep: anita lee #puppet: aoyun #myramblings #aoyun is really just anita but they treat her like shes just a disguise which backfire when all it did was to make them wishes they can jus #be themself in their own body than aoyuns when hanging out with mortum or jules genuinely #i might. consider having anita be aware that aoyun is [redacted] during rebirth- you know the whole lucky red thing?? yeah #so to make sense to why in retri anita is trying so hard to at least give aoyun a better hospital and leave 'cause yk it shouldve been done #but. yeah- instead they still keep being aoyun SIMPLY bc they enjoy mortums friendship and longing for jules but doesnt do anything about #it because... you know anita is just anita. this body is not theirs and they want to. be themself more than aoyun- #tldr: anita and aoyun are the same- anita treated aoyun like. a extension of themself simply bc they need to spy and shit- backfired by the #power of mortum & jules friendship that made them long for being themself so they can. #shop talk with mortum and talk stupid things with jules #rip neets- cant wait to get you regain mortums trust and jules regain your trust-