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#why are you yelling at me for getting distracted i am so fucking exhausted
gavisfanta · 18 days
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can you do 8 with gavi plz!!
p.s love love ur storyss they are sl good:)))
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STAY - GAVI
Doing these prompts, you can write a request by saying which number and a player i should write it with. I do every prompt once so please check before requesting!!
day 8 - arguing with one another
Another exhausting day for Gavi ended when he finally went home. Everything he thought about in that second he stepped through the door was to cuddle with you and fall asleep.
However that dream of his was shortly ruined after he saw you smiling at your phone. That wasn't the main problem, you looked cute sitting on the sofa, giggling at your phone, it was almost like you were talking to someone.
"Hey babe" He smiled widely and went closer to you, at the point where he was even standing in front of you.
You didn't give him much attention, just looked up at him for a second and mumbled a short "hello".
Gavi would have gone in for a hug but he was to annoyed now. With that he left you there with a scoff, just as he wanted to go up the stairs he turned around again.
"You know I was excited to see you, but that's ruined now." Gavi shortly let you know and you stood up immediately to walk closer to him. Your brows knit together as you looked at him.
"Why are you mad now? I didn't do anything?" You asked, raising your voice a little bit.
"Yeah, except for not even giving me a hug when I come home. We didn't use to be like this Y/n." Gavi said and turned around but you stopped him.
"Gavi dont fucking walk away now. What do you mean we didn't use to be like this? We still love eachother right?" You asked him, while saying the last sentence your voice shaked a little bit.
"I'm not so fully convinced about you." He muttered and your jaw dropped.
"You think I don't love you?" You asked and he shrugged his shoulders as a response. "Woah, okay, because I tried everything to make you feel loved, but one time when i dont hug you when you come home I don't love you anymore? Did you forget that yesterday I literally waited in the doorway for you to arrive." You convinced him, his gaze softened as he looked at the floor.
"Who were you talking to then?" He raised his eyebrows, the soft gaze gone again as he looked up at you.
"Why do you care." You answered in a harsher tone than you had anticipated.
"I care because we're in a relationship if you havent noticed yet, its because I care for you. We used to tell eachother everything and now you cant even tell me who youre talking to?" Gavi pointed at himself with his hand while moving his head slightly forward.
"I care for you too, but you're seriously getting mad at me for not jumping up and hugging you the first second I see you?" You asked and took a step closer to him. Your blood basically boiling by how stupid he could be sometimes. You didn't yell at him, you're not much of a yelling person.
"Ah," Gavi scoffed and turned around once again, walking up the stairs to the bedroom. You tried to call for him to stop but he didn't listen. You followed him into the bedroom and stood in front of him while he changed his shirt.
"You don't need to distract yourself with me, don't worry, go on and talk to those other men." Gavi made a motion with his hand and your jaw dropped once again. Suddenly it was silent, Gavi expected an answer from you, it didn't come, every second that passed he thought to himself. "Now, in a second, when is the answer coming?"
It never came, and as he turned around to look at you, he saw you, staring at him with glossy eyes. "You think I am cheating on you?" You asked with a shaky voice. You turned your head away as you felt a few tears rolling down your cheeks. Having your boyfriend who you loved more than everything and anything think that you could even think about cheating on him is bad, but his basically telling to your face that he had caught you cheating even tho its not true is worse.
Suddenly everything in your body switched off, you calmed down, your pulse went down again and then it was just that tight feeling in your throat and that awful ringing in your ears.
"You know Gavi, I love you but it's so freaking hard sometimes." And with that you walked past him and out the door. Uncontrollable tears now streaming down your face.
Meanwhile Gavi was still stood in the middle of his room, looking at the door you went through. Just a few seconds later he heard the door being closed and then followed by your car turning on and driving away.
"Fuck." Gavi muttered under his breath as he threw back his head. He knew he had messed up, he knew damn well that he went too far.
The bad thing for him was that he had absolutely no idea where you went, he tried to call you but as awaited, you didn't pick up.
He was still a bit confused as to why you just wouldnt tell him who you were talking to, but he knew he had to make it up to you, he just didn't know how. yet.
Meanwhile you were already on the other side of Barcelona, sitting on your friends couch. Luckiky Mikky and you were home alone because Frenkie wanted to meet up with his friends.
So there you sat crying, the person who understood you the most patting your back and telling you that it was gonna be okay.
No matter how strong your bond with Gavi was, Mikky had a view of life he could never have. That was because Mikky and you had one major thing in common. That was dating a famous footballer.
She knew all the cons that came with it and she knew how to react. During the time of being with Frenkie for more than 10 years she learnt some things.
She was the one to calm you down when the press started blaming you for Gavi's bad game, she was the one to calm you down after Gavis fans started to hate on you just because you were in a relationship with him.
And you hated to even think about it but Gavi would have never been able to calm you down those times. He lived with it, they taught you to play under pressure in La Masia, they taught you to handle the hate, but what they didn't teach you in La Masia was how people around you feel, people that didn't grow up in the academy and don't know how to handle that.
That's why you immediately stopped crying as soon as you stepped into Mikkys house. "Should I make you a tea? I know you loved the berry one." She smiled while pointing at you and walking into the kitchen. You followed her and sat down on the other side of the island in her kitchen.
So you two kept chatting with the low rumbling of the boiling water in the background. And as soon as the water was hot enough, she poured it into a cup and gave you a teabag. You put the teabag into the hot water and then kept on chatting with her.
Immediately you forgot everything that happened to you, every word that was said between you and Gavi in the last hour.
That's what you loved about being friends with her, she made you forget all your worries. Not that Gavi was a worry for you, but it was good to get a break from the futbolista.
"Here, put some honey in it, it's way better than sugar." Mikky grabbed a jar of honey out of her cabinet and walked over to you with a spoon in the other hand.
"Thank you" You smiled after she stirred it in and went to sit down in front of you. The rest of the one hour that you spent at her place contained of you two gossiping about your friend group and of course the players.
There were always some stuff Frenkie knew and Gavi didn't, you two knew everything that happened because of the constant gossip sessions. Luckily Frenkie and Gavi didn't know about their girlfriends telling their news to the others girlfriend because you two thought of it better as a secret.
And after it was time for you to go, you said goodbye and soon found yourself infront of your house with the keys in your hand.
Stepping into the house and closing the door behind you, you didnt hear anything other than the fridge buzzing quietly and the bugs making those noises from outside
That was until you entered the upper floor and heard tiktok playing in the bedroom, all the lights were turned off so you had to move around in the dark.
As soon as you stepped into the bedrooms doorframe Gavi's eyes shot up at you from his screen. He didnt think for a second before standing up and walking over to you.
"I'm sorry for not telling you a proper hello and also hiding who I was texting to." You immediately began and he nodded his head. You knew you were in the wrong, you knew that you had made the mistake.
"It's okay." Gavi took a step closer to you and pulled you into a heartfelt hug. Your arms tightened around his body, the best part after a fight was always making up, that hug couldn't be replaced by anything. When you hold him again after you held a grudge against him for a couple of hours. The relieving feeling you feel when you realize that "Everything is gonna be okay." Gavi's words made you smile as he leaned down and kissed your cheek.
Maybe everything does always turn out fine.
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nyoomfruits · 1 year
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Hi! From the prompt list: 1. "Ok, maybe I have a crush on you. So what?" and 33. "I don't want them. I want you." I couldn't decide, so you pick one (or both ahah).
Also, I'm not sure if we have to specify, but lestappen :)
Thank you!
hi!!!! first of all thank you for the prompt :)))) i ended up going with the first one, because someone else send in the second one as well (so i will be writing that one too, eventually!!!) also thank you for specifying!! i really only write lestappen rn so it’s actually perfect haha 
"Ok, maybe I have a crush on you. So what?"
It’s busy in the paddock, people mulling about, preparing for the upcoming race, and it’s kind of distracting. Max is a few feet away from Charles, giving an interview, and he’s looking so unfairly hot, it’s making Charles want to eat his goddamn helmet.
Instead of doing something stupid, like going over there and kissing Max Verstappen full on the mouth, Charles takes out his phone and texts Pierre.
‘he is so unfairly pretty I am going to YELL’
Charles bites his nail as he waits for Pierre to respond, glancing over to where Max has finished his interview and is frowning at something on his phone. Charles’s own phone pings.
‘who?’
‘max???? literally who else’
The typing bubble appears, but no message. Charles wonders what on earth Pierre has to say that’s taking him ages to type as his eyes once again wander back to Max. He’s staring at his phone with a slightly shocked expression on his face, fingers hovering over his phone screen but not typing anything.
Charles sighs and looks back at his phone, staring at the three little typing bubbles until a message from Pierre finally pops up again.
‘… verstappen?’
‘oh my god pierre i do not have TIME for this, yes verstappen!!!! he is standing a few feet away from me and he has ARMS and i need to have a crisis about it please catch up’
When Charles looks up this time it’s only to find Max already staring at him, open mouthed, and Charles, unsure why Max is looking at him like that, waves a little awkwardly. Max doesn’t wave back, just looks back at his phone, furiously typing. A second later, Charles’s phone pings.
‘i think you’ve been texting the wrong number.’
Pierre, who on closer inspection turns out to be absolutely not Pierre, responds. Charles nearly drops his phone in near panic when he realizes he’s been texting Max himself this entire time. Because of the hustle an bustle around him he never noticed, and now he’s going to have to move to Mars to avoid the pure awkwardness of basically having told his crush he thinks he’s pretty and has good arms.
When he glances up Max has been swept away by his team, which is even worse, because now they can’t even talk about it and shit. Fuck.
‘i’m so so so sorry, i thought i was texting pierre’
Max doesn’t reply. Charles doesn’t want to know if it’s because he’s already handed off his phone or because he just doesn’t want to talk to Charles anymore. Charles hopes it’s the first. He fears it’s the latter.
The race goes utterly shit, because Charles can’t focus on anything aside from the phone interaction with Max, and he’s glad to be back in his hotel room, later that night. He falls back on the bed, exhausted, scrubbing his face with his hands. He hadn’t seen Max, after the race. Max had actually managed to make it onto the podium, and Charles had sort of slinked off as Max got swept up into the festivities.
He's just contemplating whether he’s going to watch a movie or just go to bed, when there’s a knock on his hotel room door. Frowning, he gets up to open it.
“Charles,” Max says, as he swings the door open. “I’m sorry for disturbing you like this, but I figured we should talk.”
“Oh,” Charles says, not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. “Sure. Come in?”
Clearly neither of them really know how to act, so they just end up standing sort of awkwardly in the middle of Charles’s hotel room, staring at each other. “Right,” Max says, “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?” Charles asks, though he’s pretty sure he knows what Max means.
Max smiles, almost a little bashfully. “You think I’m pretty?”
Charles groans. “Jesus Christ, Max. You don’t have to be an asshole about it. Yes, I think you are pretty. Maybe I have a crush on you. So what? I am a big boy, I can handle it. You will never even notice, we can act like we always do.”
“I, what, crush?” Max stammers, seemingly utterly confused, “Wait. Who says I want that?”
This time Charles is genuinely confused. “Want what?”
“Act like we always do.”
Charles, who’s slowly starting to wish he’d never even gotten out of bed that morning, sighs deeply. “Fine. Then we can stop interacting all together, if that is what you want.”
Max lets out a frustrated noise and takes a step closer, reaching his hand out like he’s going to touch Charles, but clearly not daring to, so his hand just sort of hoovers midair. “Jesus, Charles, no. I meant. What if I think you’re pretty, too?”
“Oh,” Charles says, struggling a little bit to process that information. In his head, he was already preparing for a night of heartbreak and ice cream and this. This was. Oh my god. “Oh,” he repeats, a little more urgently, staring at Max with wide eyes. “That would be. Fantastic, actually.”
“Cool,” Max says, “Because I do. Think you’re pretty.”
“Right,” Charles says, a grin starting to creep up on his face. “And uh, were you maybe planning on doing something about that, or…?”
Max grins too, takes another step forward, and suddenly he’s kissing Charles, soft and demanding all at once, and Charles feels like he’s floating. It’s a short kiss, really nothing more than a press of lips, Max pulling away way too soon for Charles’s liking, but it still feels like a life changing event all the same.
“I’m glad you’re bad a texting,” Max says, smiling a little mischievously at Charles.
“You know what? I am not even going to argue with you on that one,” Charles says, and pulls Max in for another kiss. A proper one, this time.
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xanadontit · 1 year
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On Monday my friend D texted me that she was at Urgent Care with her toddler who had a low fever for a few days that they couldn’t quite kick. Ear infection! Toddler charmed the staff, as usual.
A few hours later she FaceTimed me to ask if I could maybe help her convince the kid to take her ibuprofen. She took the Tylenol like a champ but was rejecting the ibuprofen and freaking out. Poor thing was glassy eyed and exhausted and whimpering. I offered to take some medication in solidarity (water in a NyQuil cup lol), D offered bribes, the freak out intensified.
Next thing I know the phone goes flying because the toddler kicked it out of D’s hands, toddler is screaming I DON’T LIKE YOU, D is saying “I don’t like doing this” as the toddler is biting her and spitting out the meds. The asshole part of my brain wanted to yell DRINK YER JUICE, SHELBY because I think I’m funny. But instead I told D to hang up and go get her husband and make him help her.
Oh yeah her husband was home this entire time. Where was he while she was being assaulted by their child? Sunbathing in the backyard with his headphones on. Useless! Utterly useless!
I can’t believe that her first move was to call me. Mind you, I am not a parent or health care professional or something. She reached out to me because at a minimum she knew I’d offer moral support and maybe I could distract the kid while she got some meds in her. But I’d be more useful to her from over 100 miles away versus her husband who was chillin’ in the backyard!
Possibly the worst part of this is when I say “hey what the fuck, D?” she says things like “story of my life” or “well you know how men are!” Bleak! This is so bleak!
(Another terrible part of this is that D was trying not to take a sick day for this so she was trying to get the kid to take some meds so she could get back on line for work and yet her husband is sunbathing! What the fuck! Help her! Show some concern for your sick child!)
Anyway, she eventually got him to come inside and help and oh my lord why is he like this?
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azar-rosethorn · 11 months
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More Most Wanted Incorrect Quotes
Karai: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
April: I wrote you a poem.
Karai, already crying: You did?
--
Casey: We have a problem.
Raph: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
--
Karai: Who's in charge here?
Raph, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.
--
Casey: I’m so tired.
Donnie: Did you get to bed late?
Casey: No.
Donnie: Did you do something strenuous?
Casey: No.
Donnie: Then why are you tired?
Casey: I’m alive.
Donnie: Sounds exhausting.
--
Draxum: Don’t worry, I have a permit.
Mikey: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.
--
Draxum: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-
Draxum: *sees Donnie shoving Leo into the washing machine while Raph records and Mikey watches*
Draxum: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.
--
Leo: Are we really going to let Raph keep Casey?
Splinter: We kept April.
--
Karai: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.
--
Splinter: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?
Mikey: Raph, probably.
--
Karai: Please pray for Leo.
Casey: What happened to them?
Karai: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.
--
Mikey: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.
Splinter: Mikey, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.
Mikey: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.
Splinter: Well, I mean yeah.
Mikey: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.
Splinter: Wait, you just made them?
Mikey: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.
Splinter: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Mikey.
--
Karai: Life is like Mikey. It's short.
--
Leo: I think I need a hug...
Raph: Good thing I'm hug shaped!
*45 minutes later*
Leo: You... you can let go now.
Raph: No, I absolutely cannot.
--
April: *slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome* I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.
Casey: This is light?!
--
Draxum: Knock, knock.
Mikey: Who's there?
Draxum: Boo!
Mikey: Boo who?
Draxum: Why are you crying?
Mikey: I'm not crying.
Draxum: Hello notcrying, I'm Draxum.
--
April: Where are you going?
Raph: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.
--
April: Love makes people do stupid things.
Mikey: I love everything!
April: That explains a lot.
--
Donnie: There's no meeting today because Casey is at the police station.
April: They're in jail?!
Leo: We have to get them out!
Mikey: Jailbreak! I'm in!
Leo: I'll dress up and distract the guard!
Mikey: Ooh, I'll bake some food to help distract ALL the guards!
April: I guess I could bring my frying pan in case we need a shield to keep us from being shot-
Donnie: No! Casey wasn't arrested! They're undercover, taking the system down from the inside. They don't need our help!
--
Leo: How late were you up last night?
Donnie & Splinter, in tandem: Me?
Leo: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Leo, to Mikey: You.
--
Splinter: Are you really planning to shoot the demon?
Raph: Don't worry, it's a holy gun.
Splinter: How so?
Raph: It makes holes.
--
*April and Casey looking at a locked gate into a park*
April: Aw. :(
Casey: You know what they say.
April: Please don’t-
Casey: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
April: Frick-
--
Raph: I need life advice.
Splinter, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.
--
Leo: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution.
Mikey: You could lose a few.
Casey: You could be less lazy.
Raph: Don’t be such a bitch.
Leo: Okay DAMN, SHIT.
--
Casey: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.
--
(Pssst if u like these guys go check out my askblog for them)
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ljnsdump · 1 year
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TIMELESS (Johnny x F!reader)
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Johnny x F!Reader
We’re a mess, you and I. But the truth is, you captivate me in ways no soul ever will.
Genre: M/F, established relationship, angst, fluff, college setting
Warnings: johnny's mom is deceased in this story, mention/indication of cheating, light indication of choking but still very mellow and just cute 
Word Count: 1,419
This is my second story published! This is just very mellow and heart warming and definitely the kind of love story that you’ll only see in books. I just had this idea in my head at 3 am on April 15, 2022. Hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. Imagination is the key.
Read at your own risk.
------
It's been a week. A long fucking week. Y/N misses Johnny so much. They're not in a long distance relationship, one of them is not temporarily away, none of them is unreachable, in fact, they see each other everyday in uni.
"Dude, just go get her if you miss her that much!" His friend Mark says when he sees Johnny sulking in a party. It used to be Johnny and Y/N who always came together at parties, making people envious of their relationship. The hot, sexy captain of the football team and the even sexier, hotter, bitchier cheer captain. His hand is always wrapped around her waist in public and fingers wrapped around her neck in private just how she likes it.
Johnny shakes his head and doesn't say anything. For once, Y/N should be the one to lower her pride, she's the one at fault after all.
Y/N didn't even come to this party, she's having her own sleepover with a few friends in her apartment. "Girl, your man's at the party I am telling you." One of the girls shows her the IG story from one of the people in the party. Johnny was seen in the video smiling and watching those dancing and playing.
This wasn't a sleepover, this was just a distraction for Y/N to stop herself from going to that party because of her pride. It's like gathering CIA agents to investigate and spy over one person.
"He's not talking to me." She whines. "It wasn't my fault that I misunderstood the situation. I mean if he and the girl went out at the same time from the men's room then one would assume that they hooked up!"
Then one replies, "But then didn't." Finding her reasoning ridiculous. "The girl went out ahead and not together with the boy she hooked up with because she was scared they'd be busted. They already apologized to you even."
Y/N pouts. "But still. Why is Johnny not talking to me?"
"Maybe he just wants you to admit that you were wrong?"
Another adds. "You were yelling at him even if it really didn't happen and didn't even bother to listen to him."
"Are you guys really my friends?!"
"Yes!" They all yell together.
"But we're on the right side of the argument."
Nonetheless, tomorrow came. It's Saturday and it's usually the day when they both visit the grave of Johnny's mom. They visit every early in the morning, lighting candles and bringing fresh flowers.
Y/N decided to go still. She'll feel bad if she doesn't. But she'll go in the afternoon to avoid Johnny.
In the morning, she decides to wash clothes, clean her shoes and her car. Normally she would do this with Johnny, after they visit the cemetery. Then they'd order lunch. They'd eat by the balcony overlooking the city, judging those people walking on the streets. Then in the afternoons they'd go on a date, it may be a picnic, movie, shopping, watching private events, operas, and at night they'd always be so exhausted.
She frowns and puts her clothes down, deciding not to do it and goes to her room to sob. Y/N scrolls over all social media platforms and looks at every story of their common friends and even Johnny's just to know where he's at right now.
"What could he be doing?" She mumbles.
Then she decides to keep herself busy. From the storage room, she took out a big box. It contains candle making supplies, they both ordered it before because it was so fun to do. She lays everything on the counter.
Firstly, she puts a few cups of wax in the melting pot. Then once it's melted already, she pours the fragrance oil cocktail she made, the color and of course glitters.
And of course a little burns and blisters could never be avoided, especially that she's not wearing gloves. She just groans and continues still. She left it on the counter to set after pouring them into the molds.
Then she sleeps the remaining time until her alarm goes off at exactly 3PM, completely missing lunch but she wasn't hungry anyway. She goes to check if the candles have set already, then she prepares herself as well. She puts on black pants with big white heart designs on them and a baby blue crop top. She puts the candles on a box, picks up her keys from her drawers.
Dropping by at the flower shop, she picks her favorite big bouquet of carnation flowers. The shop owner was already familiar with them because they've been buying flowers there every Saturday ever since.
"Oh, I thought you weren't coming today." The lady says.
Y/N smiles. "Well, kinda had to push it in the afternoon. Got busy in school." And lies.
"How about your boyfriend?"
She tries to maintain the smile. "He's still at practice. I just picked these up so we can go right after."
Y/N finally gets out of there, and she never thought she was suffocating until she got out of that door.
God, she just misses Johnny so much.
When she gets to the cemetery, she brings the candles on her right hand and the flowers on her left. Walking a couple of meters towards Johnny's mom's last resting place.
When she gets there, she lays the candles down first and then the flower. There were no new flowers other than hers indicating that Johnny didn't come. She cleans the area first, collecting the dried flowers and leaves together first then lighting up the candles. She squats on the grass.
"Tita, how are you? Did Johnny come and visit?" She starts. "I don't think he did but I brought you my favorite flowers and I made these candles myself as well. I'm sorry I didn't come with your son today, we just had a minor argument. I know I may sound petty but it wasn't like I'm just the only one at fault. He got mad at me too. Why would he get mad? I was just scared that I'd lose him. Where else can I get another Johnny in this lifetime?" She chuckles. "Anyway, yes, I give up. I'll go and apologize to him. I can't take it anymore, I just miss him so much. And next time, I'll make sure it's gonna be us together coming here again. Watch over Johnny all the time, Tita. Cheer for him, bring God over to watch his games." Her eyes start to water. Did she mention that she missed him? "I need to go now, I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten anything since this morning. Love you!"
When she turns around, she sees a pair of familiar shoes and when she looks up it's Johnny just intently looking at her. First, she pouts, stopping herself from crying but later she gives in and goes to hug him so tight. He smiles and does the same, caressing her head.
"How long have you been standing here?" She mumbles against his chest.
He just chuckles. "I heard everything, baby." Kissing the top of her head again and again and again. "I've made up my mind, I'm definitely gonna marry you."
Y/N laughs and punches his chest. "How did you make up your mind?"
"It's how even when we're not on good terms you still visit my mom, you bought flowers, you made candles," He pauses, bringing her hand up seeing the burns on it, he immediately kisses them each. "I've never been so attracted to anyone this way."
"That's because I miss you." She replies. "And I'm so sorry for being petty, and proud, and unreasonable."
"Don't worry, you can be petty, proud, unreasonable and whatever, I'll still be with you."
She finally lets go of him. "Go on, say your prayers and light your candle."
He sits on her spot before and lays everything beside Y/N's. "Ma, her promise was fulfilled right away." He chuckles. "Thank you for leading me to meet my wife, my life, my woman. I'll make sure to take good care of her because there's no other Y/N in this universe. I miss you, I love you, I wish you were here, but also it's good that you're no longer suffering from your illness. So, I love you."
He stands up and meets Y/N's eyes with a smile.
"Love." She mumbles.
"Hmm?"
Pouting, she says. "I'm hungry."
"I heard."
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Weather Update: Wolf is fuckin exhausted pt 1
Shit sure did happen this morning:
This whole thing is one big cop-out and I hate it. I wish I had more answers than excuses.
There are levels to Leopard's "I don't like being woken up" deal. If she sleeps past the time she's usually awake, wake her up. Guess who got yelled at over that? Among other things?
Being on my phone is a trap. I know it is a trap. Do not get on my phone for even one thing, because I get sucked into a bunch of different things and waste an hour I could have been using to study. If I could just figure out what I'm going to get sucked in by/when and cut it off before I get there, this wouldn't be a problem. It's like a mix of hyperfocus and time-blindness and I can't figure out how to manage it. The worst part is I don't think about the consequences when I get distracted so there's nothing to say "this will backfire. You should stop." I want to say the solution is "more alarms", but I tend to ignore those and I can't get myself to not. The real question is: Why is everything you say a copout and what's the actual solution?" The solution is probably gonna have to be Parental Controls on the phone. They fuckin sucked but they helped a ton. I cannot put them on myself. They have to be done externally so I can't turn them off. I hate it. Unfortunately, it's necessary.
I am most likely being a jerk. Leopard seems to think something is off, but I sure as shit can't tell.
Whatever mechanism controls my willpower is broken and unfortunately, I can't get a new one. External motivation has to be immediate and I don't know what the fuck I can do about that.
Leopard is fighting an uphill battle and is beyond sick of it. So am I. I don't have any answers. I know she's not going to get sick of me or kick me out or anything, but this is pretty much why Lion stopped handling me in college and why I failed so much there.
Leopard asked what my motivation would be for the next internship. I said it's that someone would be seeing me on camera and need me to do things, so I would have to be as prepared as if I were physically going into an office. She asked why I can't do that on command, we got to the point of "It doesn't work when I'm the one doing the asking, it has to be external." She said "if disappointing people is a motivator, why doesn't disappointing yourself count?" She thinks its because my self-esteem is some trash. I know it is, but that's not the answer. I think its because my brain knows I can't enforce immediate consequences like someone else can. I don't know how to get around this. It sucks.
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she-karev · 2 months
Text
Out of Nowhere
Age Rating: 12+
Chapter: Six of Six
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
AN: Here’s the final chapter you guys. I’m hoping to post the next chapter by spring break. I’m in classes and busy AF so bear with me. I always appreciate a like and reblog.
Summary: Amber spends the night at Alex and Jo’s with Andrew accompanying her.
Words: 1829
I walk down the hall with Qadri, Helm and Casey who insist they come with me to find Andrew. I hold an ice pack against my already bruised fist that I used to punch Stadler. At least one good thing came from today.
If I wasn’t so scared Paul would confront me again I would be more annoyed than grateful that I had a village with me. The friends I had growing up were the kind who were looking for a good time and I followed. They would never get in between me and a dangerous man not like these guys did. The whole month I’ve known them I’ve done nothing but insult them and say repeatedly I am gonna beat them in an O.R. and yet they didn’t think twice before protecting me. It feels nice to have not just coworkers but friends who would go above and beyond for you. I decide in that moment to be more friendly towards them and more forth coming.
“Thank you, Casey.” Casey looks at me surprised by my gratitude and I don’t blame him, “I…I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t come in when you did…no I do know. He would have attacked me and claimed he was defending himself from the violent intern.”
“Well at least you got to punch him.” Helm says impressed by me, “I would go to jail happy I did that at least.”
“Taryn.” Qadri snaps at her and she quiets. Dahlia focuses on me, “Tell me you’re not gonna be alone tonight. I can let you stay with me for a few days.”
“I’ll come over.” Parker offers and I grin at him.
“Thanks you guys but I’m gonna stay with my brother tonight.” I exhale exhausted, “This fucking day I swear.”
“I can imagine.” Casey remarks, “That guy Dr. Stadler, how do you know him?”
I shake my head at that knowing it’s not my story to tell, “It doesn’t matter telling you guys why he’s harassing me won’t make him stop and it won’t change what he just did to me.” I notice that one of our own is missing, “Where’s Schmitt?”
“He’s spending the night in a patient room.” Qadri tells me as we continue walking, “Blood loss is pretty big and they want to give him the luxury treatment after he saved a patient.”
“Lucky him.” Helm says bitterly and I nod in agreement. I would take passing out in an O.R. after directly donating blood over the day I just had. We stop by the station where Andrew sees me and his face scrunches in worry. I probably look as awful as I feel.
Andrew approaches me and gently asks, “Hey what’s wrong?”
I swallow uneasily, “So many things.”
“He came to the lockers.” Andrew’s face forms into shock as Qadri explains, “He was in her face, calling her names and she punched him. Parker had to push him to the ground and threaten him so he can leave.”
“That bastard.” Andrew says in anger, “Did he hurt you?”
“Not physically. He’s too smart to do that.” I admit grudgingly, “But he did reveal every moment of my life and didn’t skimp on the parts that would make a good horror film.” I lift my ice pack grimacing at the purplish color around my knuckles, “And his face is evidence enough to get me in the slammer. How the hell does he know about me?” That part scares me the most, the resources he had to gather my whole life even the sealed records.
Andrew looks down guilty, “He said he had a guy look into you and find out what he could.”
I look at him in shock over this new information and not just about Paul, “You knew about this and you didn’t tell me?” I don’t keep the anger out of my tone.
Andrew’s eyes widen at my sudden change in demeanor, “I-I didn’t think about it I was just trying to distract him so he wouldn’t see you talking to Jenny. And I was afraid you’d freak out.”
“I was already freaked out!” I yell at him under my breath so I don’t attract attention, “This guy has been stalking me and was this close to running me off the road at least this little piece of info would save me from being humiliated in my workplace. You should’ve told me.”
Andrew tries to calm me down but I’m too pissed, “I know and I’m sorry, I was just trying to look out for you.”
I get angrier at that statement, “I don’t need you to look out for me. I have been doing that by myself since I was 16 and unfortunately, I can say that to these guys because thanks to that fucking creep everybody knows I’m the plotline in a Stephen King novel.” Andrew’s face falls at my cruel statement the others look on awkwardly clearly uncomfortable viewing the most intimate part of my relationship, “God! I hate this fucking day!”
Andrew inhales before speaking, “I know me too.”
“He knows where’s Alex and Jo live.” I inform him fearfully, “I-I can’t go there or my apartment or the on-call room. Aside from moving to another state and changing my name it’s just a matter of time until he gets to me.”
“I’m not gonna let that happen.” Andrew grasps my shoulders to calm me down, “I promise he’s not gonna hurt you as long as I’m with you.”
I scoff, “Is that how you want to spend your life? Attached to my side at home and work?”
“No that won’t happen.” Parker tells me to reassure me but it doesn’t work, “Tomorrow we’ll go to the police and get a restraining order on him.”
I sniffle at the predicament I’m in. All I want to do is crawl under my blanket and pretend the world doesn’t exist. But I can’t, no amount of daydreaming is gonna get this fucking creep off my back and Andrew can’t be with me every second of every day same goes for my friends. Even with a restraining order there’s no guarantee he’s gonna stop.
“This can’t be happening to me.” I say blankly causing the others to look at me in pity including Andrew.
Andrew looks at me in sympathy before responding, “Come on I’ll drive you to your place and to Alex’s.” I nod warily and exchange good nights with my friends before leaving with Andrew.
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I knock on the steel pocket door and wait patiently outside with Andrew who has one of my bags in his hands. The door rolls and Alex is on the other side in pajamas relieved to see us.
“Come in.” We go inside and I plop my suitcase by the couch ready for bed, “Did you have any trouble on the way?”
“No.” I sit on the couch and take my boots off, “I think he got the message after I punched him to Kingdom Come.”
Alex looks at me shocked, “You punched him?”
“Yeah.” I hold up my bruised hand as evidence, “Don’t even bother lecturing me because what’s done is done and no amount of scolding will take it back.”
“I just have one question.” I motion for him to ask, “Did you put your weight on it?”
I snort at that, “Of course I did.” Alex nods approvingly and makes a fist at me encouraging me to bump it. I roll my eyes but grin and fist bump him in victory. I look at the bed and see that Jo is deep in sleep no doubt crashing from the events of today, “How is she?”
“Awful.” Alex says in pity and I feel bad for him, “DeLuca thanks for driving her here I know…this is probably the last place you want to be at.” I mentally groan as I remember this loft is where the scene of the crime took place. I fully expect Andrew to drop my bags and head on his merry way but I see he’s shaking his head.
“No worries man.” I’m shocked by how cavalier he sounds being back at the place he was beat up, “I’d rather she be here than back at that small death trap she calls an apartment.”
I roll my eyes at his unfortunately true comment on my living quarters, “Yeah well Zillow isn’t reliable when it comes to apartments with high accommodations for interns with terrible credit. Speaking of which the laundry machines in my building have been broken for a week so…” I open my suitcase revealing the dirty clothes I desperately need to wash, “Where’s your washer and dryer?”
Alex grins slightly and shows me where the laundry machines are so I can get started. The simple act of washing and drying my clothes keeps my mind off the fact that Paul could be right outside waiting for the moment to strike. I get my black sweatpants and blue sweater knit top and set the couch up with pillows and blankets for the night. Satisfied with the arrangement I set myself up on the couch getting ready for bed. I look to see Andrew putting a blanket mat and pillow on the floor by the couch before sitting down to my confusion.
“What are you doing?”
Andrew looks up at me from his spot, “I’m sleeping on the floor.”
“No, you’re not.” I state and pull my blanket back on the surprisingly roomy couch, “Come on get in here.”
Andrew looks uncomfortable and looks behind the couch. I look in that direction and see Alex and Jo who are curled up in bed. I understand now why he’s hesitant to sleep in the same bed which makes me roll my eyes. I give a ‘really?’ look at the guy who shrugs.
“For god sakes man it’s 2017.” I keep my couch open to him, “We’re both adults and it’s way too late to act like we haven’t slept in the same bed.”
“It’s weird.”
“It’s only weird if you make it weird.” I inform him and pat on the couch, “Now get in here or I’ll get on the floor with you, either way we’re gonna be huddled together so it might as well be in a semi comfy couch. I have had a long day and what will make me feel better is you lying down with me and holding me.”
Andrew sighs in defeat before standing up and lying on the couch with me practically squished in the back. I make space by moving closer to him so that my head is pillowed on his chest and my arm is draped over his ribcage. He holds me close to him with his arm around my shoulders that I find comforting. Finally for the first time in two days I sleep blissfully on my brother’s couch huddled up against this man and forget about the world for tonight.
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gemstone-roses · 2 years
Text
breathe
otto octavius x reader
summary: at the moment you can't bare to be alone with your thoughts
Warnings: Hurt/comfort, mentions of intrusive thoughts, anxiety, nightmares, exhaustion, fluff.
AN: this is an 18+ blog as is all my work including this one. likes/comments/reblogs appreciated🥺
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"You look exhausted", a mug of tea appears in front of you.
"Thanks very much" you said sarcastically, you are in fact, exhausted, you were just hoping he'd be to polite to point it out.
"Are you okay" he asks with a small smile and with such kindness you feel bad for being so mean.
You take a deep breath "thankyou for the tea doctor"
"Please, call me otto". He chuckles, he gives your shoulder a squeeze before settling back into his lab work.
You sigh, leaning back into your chair and rubbing your forehead, taking a sip of the tea you immediately spit it back out
"I take it your not a fan of chamomile then" you hear otto tease
"It is soap powder in a cup and no I won't explain why I know what that tastes like" you huff.
"Sorry" you smile, really though that was kind of you to bring me tea, even if it was awful tea.
"You should go home and get some rest, take the rest of the day o-
"No!" You say a little too quickly. "I just, I gotta finish these reports or Norman's gonna have my head, or my job, probably just my job definitely my job because you know how he gets and -
Otto chuckles at your words.
"Mr Osborn is on vacation"
"So?"
"He has been for 3 weeks, and he didn't leave any instruction about your reports"
"Fuck" you huffed
"really though, are you alright?" The concern in his voice almost almost made you waver.
"I'm fine, thanks otto". He gave you a smile before returning to his work.
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"Your still here?". The Concern etched into ottos voice bought you out of your daydream.
"Mm" you looked up to notice everyone else had gone home, except for you.
You rubbed your head in frustration
"Come on, why don't we go sit on something more comfortable"
"You know for a man with so much money you'd think Norman would get half decent furniture" you complained.
Otto chuckled at you again
"What?"
"Oh, nothing, you make me laugh thats all" he said.
"Sit" he said, pouring out some coffee and indicating to the couch.
He sits himself next to you and hands you a mug.
" thankyou" you smile.
"So, are you going to tell me the real reason your still here at almost midnight?"
"Im just trying to get ahead with my work" mumbled looking down, you fiddled with your sleeve
Otto grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze, causing you to look up.
"Y/n" he sighed
You gulped
"I, uhm, fuck, I just can't stop my mind from, well thinking, and i cant sleep because my stupid brain wont shut off and when i finally think im done with all these stupid thoughts im reminded of something that starts it all over again and it's just one thing after another, I keep having graphic nightmares all night long and my normal distraction methods are doing shit". You almost yelled.
You looked away from him,tears threatening to fall from your eyes.
"look at me" he tilted your head to face him.
"It's okay" he said, his eyes were so kind
The tears threatening to fall, fell and otto opened his arms for you.
You felt so safe in his arms, the kind doctor who would do anything for the people he cared about.
He held you for a while, tight, while your sobs eventually turned into sniffles
"Your coming home with me tonight"
"I am?" You sniffed
"You are" he smiled, getting up first he offers you his hand.
"Thankyou, otto". You smiled at him. Otto grabbed his coat and draped it round your shoulders.
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kuriboo · 6 months
Text
.
God I wanna word things but I don’t want to talk about actual happening things and I don’t wanna say things that make people upset or worried because even if it doesn’t feel like that will happen it will, and I just fucking. I just want to say words. I’m not doing anything about words. I’m just saying words. Okay. Okay.
I’m fucking overwhelmed as all hell
And I’m kind of snapping under the pressure and reaching my breaking point and I’m just kind of trying to tolerate my emotions and keep myself distracted and not dying until I reach the point where it’s dealt with and I face the consequences of everything and move on and eventually don’t feel like this. Because. It will happen eventually even if it doesn’t feel like it. So I’m doing the self care thing I think
And I just like. Dude.
I don’t want to work. I don’t want to do anything
But things that I want aren’t always good for me yknow
I just
I’m this horrible imperfect thing you know and it always catches up with me and it always brings everything crumbling down around me and I can’t keep things up and I can’t do anything
It’s good for me to have something to do and get out of the house, and it’s good for me to like. Make money and have insurance. Working is good for me
But I suck at it and I always fuck things up and I can’t meet basic fucking standards
And that part isn’t good for me
So it’s like. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t. But at least if I damn myself by doing, I’m not a huge fucking burden. Only a partial one
Which is a shitty way of looking at things but I don’t know how to look at it in a not shitty way
I just kind of suck in general.
And I don’t want to like. Fucking talk about what happened, or why I feel this way. I really don’t
Just thinking about it’s exhausting me and talking about it won’t make me feel better. I just need to exist and get through things and let myself not think about this and think about other things
I’m also kind of exhausted and slept all day because I feel like shit, and talking is hard in general
So it’s like. Idk
In an ideal world I don’t need to work to live and ahit
My pain meds leave me so tired all the time that it’s so hard just to function but the pain is worse so like lol
I don’t know how to keep up
I…don’t know how to keep up
I don’t want to do anything
In an ideal world I don’t fucking have to because my face is going to be screaming in pain for the rest of my life and my body demands I sleep like twelve hours a fucking day which I refuse to do, but I don’t live in that fucking world, do I
I’m like on the edge of a mental breakdown but just push it down and keep going because deep down I don’t feel like I deserve any help or sympathy or compassion. The consequences are coming and I just gotta man up and face them.
In actual context I swear that’s a not concerning and just a subjective factual statement, but I don’t want to talk about the actual context
We’ve been here before
And we survived
And we’ll survive again
Because there’s no choice, I’m too tired to do anything but push myself past my breaking point, because I also don’t have a choice
All I know is that I’m guilty
Guilty
But I am not the jury, I am not the executioner
I don’t know what the consequences will be and that terrifies me
And as much as punishing myself would make me feel in control, that’s selfish
I don’t want to push people away. I don’t want to
Talking about this doesn’t feel safe, though
…I hope you’re happy wherever the hell you are, because that’s partly your fault
And for the others to blame for that? Keep your enemies closer. I know exactly where they fucking are because I live with them
Truth is, though, I’m a coward who doesn’t want anyone to think less of me, and I don’t think I deserve support or sympathy regardless
But my cowardice only extends so far. I don’t want to do anything about things
The only thing worth doing is wait for the inevitable. The consequences will come. Yell at me, fire me, what have you, I have it coming.
Waiting is the only thing to do. I’m trying to practice self care until it comes. I cannot stress enough that I’m not going to fucking do anything about it, and I just want to say words
Working takes so much fucking out of me and I hate it
And I’m tired of fucking up constantly and doing the wrong things and not being able to keep up.
But there’s no reasonable alternative
I call myself a jack of all trades to make myself look halfway decent, but truly, I just bounce from thing to thing because I can’t fucking keep up and I’m exhausted and inevitably I make stupid decisions and do wrong things and it falls apart
And in the end I’m guilty, and that’s all there is to it, and there’s no point defending myself.
I just want to say words, is all
I am just very tired of so many things
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the-cookie-of-doom · 9 months
Text
I’m gonna rant for a second because I hate the shitty way visitors treat hospital staff, and I’ve spent all of my last 6 12 hour shifts dealing with it 
Yes, I know you want an update with the nurse, but they aren’t available right now. It’s shift change, last night’s nurses are exhausted and want to go home, today’s nurses don’t even know who their patients are yet. 
Yes, I know, it’s inconvenient. But every single fucking time I have to pull a nurse away from their patient so you can talk to them, that is CARE that the PATIENT ISNT GETTING. 
Like, I’m really sorry, but when it comes down to your feelings versus a patient’s actual life, I don’t care about you. I’m sorry that you’re worried and anxious. I sympathize with it. But if you want your loved one to get the care they need, you need to handle yourself because you are a distraction to the nurse, you are hindering patient care, and the more often this happens, the worse your loved one will be, and I don’t get why that’s so hard to understand. If something significant happens, the nurse will call YOU. If they haven’t called, that means there’s no meaningful updates! 
I’ve seen it time and again that people think by being the loudest voice in the room, they’re showing how much they care about the patient. These are usually the people that couldn’t give a shit about them when they were healthy. The son that hasn’t seen his mother more than once a month since putting her in a nursing home suddenly needs to be up everyone’s ass all the time. The daughter that hasn’t called her father in months screaming at the nurses over every little thing. It’s such performative bullshit and I hate it. We are not here to be your emotional punching bags so you can feel better about how you’ve neglected your relationships, as if abusing us makes up for your lack of contact and caring. 
And the families that like to stand in the doorway staring at everyone who walks by, or come up to the nursing station demanding to speak to the nurse/a charge nurse, because they feel like that care isn’t happening patient care is done on a schedule. Everything is planned down to the hour. Yes, sometimes there are delays. But if a nurse should be providing something at a certain time and doesn’t, that usually means something more important is happening with another patient. Example: you want to tell me to remind the nurse that someone’s pain medication is due in exactly 11 minutes? believe me, that nurse knows down to the exact second when the last dose was given, she’ll be there on time, she does NOT need a reminder. (this is my BIGGEST pet peeve) 
Even the people that are well-meaning about their calls, it’s still so self-centered to constantly demand a nurse’s attention every hour, every two hours. Again, I understand when you’re anxious, but the nurse isn’t here to reassure you. Work out your anxiety with a loved one that isn’t the current patient. Because all you’re doing is taking up the nurse’s valuable time, which is taking away from patient care, so that you can have your nerves soothed when there is ultimately no update to be had, other than “everything’s the same.” 
If there is a significant change, good or bad, the nurse will call you. 
If the patient codes/almost/actually dies, the nurse will call you. 
If your loved one spontaneously wakes up from a coma, the nurse will call you. 
If there is a major procedure, the nurse will (probably, it’s complicated) call you.
I am so done fielding phone calls from people that are passive aggressive, angry, or straight up yelling at me over the smallest thing. You are not helping anyone when you’re calling the nurse to demand whether the patient has eaten or not yet. Either they did, or they’re not able due to illness, or they’re not allowed to due to an upcoming procedure. Nothing you say or shout will change anything. Medications are added/changed/discontinued practically daily, don’t start freaking out just because the patient was on one blood pressure med one day and a different one/none the next. 
If you don’t get a call for a day or two, the nurse isn’t refusing to communicate with you. They just have no significant updates to give, and their time is better spent on patient care than on the phone with you talking about how much the patient did or didn’t urinate. 
This goes doubly for patients that are fully conscious/aware of their surroundings, and able to advocate for themselves. In those cases, any family members become entirely superfluous, because we do not need you. We don’t need you to understand what’s going on with the patient, because we don���t need you to consent to their procedures as a medical proxy. Your input doesn’t matter. And you better be damn grateful when the nurse is willing to give you any information at all, because at that point, it should really be up to the patient to disseminate the news of their condition.
Except because nurses are saints and recognize the mental and emotional strain that will put on the patient, they take care of that too. People need to start showing some gratitude instead of attitude, because contact with the nurse is a privilege, not a right, and people like me are incredibly happy to remove it when you can’t be respectful of everyone’s time. 
Tl;dr not to be rude but if you’re not the patient, or the patient’s medical proxy, you don’t matter, so you better be nice
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writingmaneskin · 2 years
Text
Home is Where the Heart is - A Damiano David Story || Chapter Twenty Five
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Pairings: Damiano David x OC
Description: Learning how to love again, how to heal and that it’s okay to move on and rebuild yourself after dealing with so much pain.
Words: 3k
Warnings: angst, jealousy, mental health , fights between pining idiots, some more pining, the chapter has the potential to make you yell
A/N: Hihihi, new cover and I am very curious about your thoughts about this chapter 👀
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Damiano felt exhaustion hitting him hard.
The show had gone smoother than he’d expected given how poorly they’d performed during rehearsals but it ended up being good, especially by his standards.
The two most important people in his life had been there to support him and while the sight of Eli with their partner had nearly broken him, Dante being there in the crowd made him hold on.
He’d sat on the floor of the rehearsal room for a while after the show, gathering his strength for one last push. He would have to brace himself for at least an hour to attend the afterparty before he could go home and figure out what to do.
His mother came backstage to congratulate him and to have him say goodnight to Dante.
And then, there was the party. The party most of which he zoned out for, not being able to think from exhaustion and pain. 
“What’s going on?” Ethan went up to him, trying to get him to talk.
“Nothing, why would anything be going on?” Damiano insisted.
“Because you have been a zombie since we got off stage, if not even before that.”
“I am fine.”
“You’re fine and I am the Queen of England.” Ethan glared. “But okay, you don’t want to talk, I won’t keep pushing. Let me know if you change your mind.”
Damiano’s gaze almost instantly found Eli at the afterparty. Eli, whose partner with the coloured hair was nowhere to be seen. Eli, who was surrounded by Vic, Tom and someone whose face Damiano couldn’t instantly place.
Their gazes met across the crowded room. He nodded at them and they tried to wave him over but he shook his head and headed to the smoking area, needing the nicotine to soothe him.
Mercifully, there were few people outside in the smoking area so he sat down on one of the couches and lit his cigarette. He heard the door open but didn’t look up until the voice that he would recognize anywhere spoke.
“What’s wrong?” Eli sat down next to him, lighting a cigarette of their own.
“Why would anything be wrong, Eli?”
“You are acting like a zombie.”
“I am not acting like a zombie.” 
“Bullshit.”
“Are you enjoying the party?” Dami tried to change the topic and get Eli distracted but it didn’t work.
“Stop trying to distract me and stop trying to lie to me, Dami. After all this time I deserve more than lies. You can tell me to fuck off and that you don’t want to talk but I don’t deserve to be lied to.”
“Don’t raise your voice or make a scene, please. Not here, not now.” Damiano begged.
Eli shut their mouth and their look spoke of murder.
Death at their hands, what a glorious thing that would be.
“Tell me what’s going on.” Eli tried to push him again.
“Why would anything be going on?”
“Because you are not acting like yourself and I am trying to figure out if that is burnout, depression, you hating me or something else that I can’t quite figure out.”
“You don’t need to figure me out, Eli. Don’t you have bigger fish to fry?”
Eli was confused by his words.
“Since when do I need to not take care of you? When did you start doing an outstanding job of taking care of yourself?”
Their words struck the mark. 
Mercifully, the people at the smoking area left and Dami looked at Eli.
“Don’t you have a partner to take care of?”
Eli couldn’t believe their ears.
“What do you mean?”
“You have a partner, why don’t you go take care of them?” Damiano sounded more bitter than he intended but the pain was becoming too much even for him to handle. 
“I don’t have a partner.” Eli’s tone was softer than Damiano expected.
It was his turn to be confused.
“You didn’t put a label on it?” He asked.
“Do you honestly believe that if I were seeing someone you wouldn’t know of it?”
“It’s not my business if you see someone or not.”
Eli started pulling on the chain on their favourite necklace, seeking comfort.
“You clearly think it’s your business whether or not I am dating someone, which for the record, I am not.” Eli spoke quietly. “Why are you acting like this, Dami? Are you trying to break me more than I am already broken?” 
Dami was dumbfounded at Eli’s words.
“You are not broken.”
“Yes, I am. And every time I manage to piece myself back together,  you show up with yet another bimbo at your side and I sit by and watch you as you take a hammer to my heart and just pretend that everything is okay.”
“Why would you care who I am with?” 
“Because, you idiot, I have been madly and hopelessly in love with you for as long as I can remember.”
It was Damiano’s turn to get quiet, not being able to process what he’d just heard.
“What do you mean?”
“Dai, Damia!” Eli groaned and lit another cigarette, Damiano noticing their hand slightly shaking.
“What?”
“What do you mean “what do you mean ``?'' Eli was getting more and more frustrated by the second. “Why do you think I never had a partner? Why do you think I avoided your partners like the plague? Why do you think I fucking moved to England?”
“You moved to England to pursue your career.” Damiano spoke quietly, still trying to process what they’d just said.
“I moved to England because I could only bear so much pain, Dami.” 
“Eli…”
“No. I don’t want to hear another rejection.” 
“Another? I have never rejected you, Eli!” Damiano insisted. 
“You never acted as if you had any interest in me and that is rejection enough.” Eli inhaled deeply. “I know the drill. You will eventually end up with some person that you will marry and raise Dante and many other David babies with and live happily ever after.” A tear fell down Eli’s cheek.
“You jump to conclusions.”
“You have not done anything to prove me wrong.” 
“You act like you know everything but you don’t know what’s going on in my soul or in my head, Eli.” Damiano gritted out. “You are intelligent and incredible…”
“I swear to the Gods if that sentence ends with, “but I never saw you like this”, I will vanish before you can even blink.” Eli interrupted him. 
“But I never thought that you would ever have any romantic interest in me.” 
Eli started laughing but it was not happy laughter. It sounded broken. 
“How dense can you be?” 
Damiano flinched. 
“I never had any interest in anyone that isn’t you.” Eli explained to him. “I tried to divert my attention elsewhere but it never really worked and I figured that it’s not worth it to hurt other innocent people just because the love of my life is a fucking idiot who will never look at me in this way.”
Did they just refer to him as the love of their life?
“Eli, you are the love of my life.” He said simply, the words making them drop their cigarette on the ground. “Eli, I might have been too stupid and blind to realize it earlier but it’s true.” 
Eli didn’t know what to say or do, so they stood there, staring at him, completely frozen.
“What do you mean I am the love of your life? When did you develop such a wicked and cruel sense of humour?” 
“I am not making a joke, Eli.”
“Bullshit.”
“Eli, look at me.” He cupped their face, forcing them to look him in the eyes. A tear rolled down their face and he started crying. “Eli, I love you. I love you so much and I never want to hurt you…”
“Too fucking late for that.” Eli managed. 
“Eli, I never thought that you could perceive me as more than the annoying guy who has been in your life since forever.” 
“You have never been annoying.” 
“Eli, that is very much beside the point.”
“And what exactly is the point?” 
“The point is that…” He took a deep breath, bracing himself. “I can’t do this to you.”
“What do you mean you can’t do this to me? Who are you to make decisions for me?”
Dami flinched.
“Listen.”
“I am listening but none of the bullshit coming out of your mouth makes any fucking sense!” They dropped the cigarette when it burned them.
Damiano immediately kissed their hand, willing the burn to go away. Eli’s heart skipped the beat at the soft gesture that had pulled them out of the fight. Damiano held on to their hand.
“I can’t do this to you. I can’t put you through the hell that I am going through.”
“I have been voluntarily exposing myself to the hell that you mentioned.” 
Damiano flinched. They had seen parts of it - his lack of sleep, the trauma that both he and Dante were going through. Tears once again flooded his eyes.
“Eli, you are too precious to me to risk us being “right person, wrong time”. Do you understand that?”
Eli felt like the Earth was going to swallow them up whole.
“Explain.” was all that they managed.
“Eli, you are my person. As far as I am concerned, I am done dating, done with everything. I don’t want to be romantically with anyone that isn’t you.” Damiano started shakily. “I am too broken right now. Broken by the past year and the hell I was put through, that Dante was put through. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have, because hurt people hurt people.” He sat down on the ground, not caring about his clothes or anything else. 
“And what do you suggest? Again, I have been voluntarily exposing myself to all this, Dami. I want to help you get through it, I want to be there for you but I can only do so much if you don’t let me in.”
“Eli, I need time. I… I know that this is asking too much but I do need time. I want to date you, I want to have all the moments that young couples deserve to have, all the moments that we both deserve to experience without rushing into something that will potentially destroy both of us.” 
“You want us to date?” 
“Yes, of course I do. Do you want us to date?”
“You dense motherfucker, of course I want to date you.” 
Damiano got up from the ground and wrapped his arms around them. “I never want to hurt you again, Eli and I promise to do my best on that front.”
“I never want to hurt you either.” Eli held on to him as best as they could.
“I do need time to piece myself together and not make a fool of myself on our first date.” Dami explained, laughing through tears.
“I understand that, I am not going anywhere.” Eli wiped the tears carefully off his face. “And for the record, the person that I brought to the show and that you saw me with is Aurora.” 
“Aurora?” 
“Yes, Dami. I brought my best friend to the show in hopes of introducing them to Ethan.”
“Oh.”
“Indeed.”
“And did you succeed?”
“No, Auri left a while ago.” 
“You can introduce them at some point.”
“I will. I also asked Vic for an extra ticket while you were giving me the silent treatment and that ticket went to my assistant and friend Angie.”
“Good. Did they enjoy the show?”
“I think so, yes.” 
Damiano wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation and he felt like he was slowly becoming more and more delirious as all of the emotions were taking a toll on his body.
“Eli?”
“Yes, my love?” Eli gently ran their hand through his hair.
“I need to go home and figure things out.” 
“You need to go home and go the fuck to sleep.” 
“That too, probably.”
“Dami, please.”
“Yes, I will go to sleep.” There wasn’t much point arguing with them.
“Dami?” 
“Yes, my love?”
“May I drive you home?” Eli asked. They had had the feeling that they should remain sober at the party, on alert should Auri text them or anyone else need their help too.
“You don’t need to do that, you are here to celebrate.”
“I am not going to celebrate you without you being here.” 
“Of course you can drive me home.” Dami kissed their hand. 
The two walked hand in hand out of the afterparty after each said their goodbyes. 
“I would offer to drive…” Dami started.
“Please, you are so fucking exhausted I worry about you falling asleep in the car.”
That made Damiano laugh.
“I won’t fall asleep in the car, I promise.”
“Good. I will leave when I know that you are asleep and not just bullshitting me to get me off your back.”
Damiano strapped himself in Eli’s car. He really wanted to touch them in some way but he didn’t do anything because he knew that it would distract them and distracted Eli behind the driver’s wheel was not a good idea.
“Why are you so quiet? Have you fallen asleep yet?” Eli’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
“I am thinking about what I need to do.”
“Think out loud, I will try and help you make sense of it.” Eli suggested. It had been something that the two of them did since they were little - voicing a problem, talking it out, helping the other make sense of the situation. Even when Eli had moved to England and their contact had been rarer, they still did that, looking to the other for help.
“I am broken.” Damiano started.
“No.”
“Eli.”
“I said no.”
“Fine, I am on the verge of burnout, stressed out of my wits and in desperate need of help so my son doesn’t grow up with a completely off the rails parent.”
“Our son has two parents…” Eli started and Damiano burst into tears once again at their words. Eli saw his reaction from the corner of their eye and they immediately pulled over, worried that they’d said something to offend or scare Dami.
“Yes, our son has two parents.” Dami affirmed, the scene from earlier in the night playing out again in his head. He kissed Eli’s hand.
“Did I scare you?”
“No. I told you, I am … fragile. Especially when it comes to Dante and his wellness.”
“I want wellness for both you and Dante, Dami.”
“I know that.”
“Good.” Eli started driving again. “I think you need a break. Time off to spend with Dante, to have more regular therapy, to discover who you are again as a dad and as a human.”
“And as a partner.” Damiano added. 
“And as a partner.”
The drive to Damiano’s place went faster than he thought it would. Both of them got out of the car and he started opening the doors for them. 
“We are doing things out of order, aren’t we?” He asked, exhaustion catching up to him more and more.
“When were we ones for order anyway?”
Damiano laughed as he unlocked the door to his apartment. As usual, Eli had a point.
He took off his shoes and groaned happily, his whole body aching more and more.
“Yes, will you shower before bed?” Eli asked. “I will make your nighttime tea, if you want.”
“I need to shower because I sweat too much, the day was too long.” 
Eli nodded and headed into the kitchen. His heart started racing at the realisation that this might very well be his reality in the near future - going home to Eli. 
No. 
He was finally home.
He stepped into the shower and quickly washed himself before wrapping a towel around his waist and stepping out of the bathroom.
“You didn’t tie the towel properly, again.” Eli said, looking at him.
“Why are you looking at my towel?” He grinned at them.
“You never tie your towel properly.” 
“Maybe that is intentional.”
Eli blushed and Dami kissed their cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“Are you trying to kick me out?”
“How many times do I need to tell you that you are home here, Eli? I would not kick you out.”
Eli smiled at that.
“Fine.”
“Will you sleep here?’ 
“You want that?”
“Would I offer it if I didn’t want that?”
“I don’t know, you are full of surprises tonight.”
“Smartass, I am going to change.”
“And what am I supposed to do?” Eli asked, confused by this playfulness.
“Make yourself at home, amore.” 
Eli put his cup of tea on the bedside table and went to the bathroom to wash off their makeup and freshen up as best as they could before going into the closet and raiding it for a tshirt that they could sleep in.
“Find anything good?” Damiano’s voice startled them. He looked more and more tired by the minute and that worried Eli as they knew that he was fighting sleep as he used to when they were little.
“I just want a tshirt that I could sleep in.” Eli grabbed one of his merch shirts and started removing their clothes, making him blush in turn.
“I will wait for you in bed.” Dami managed before quickly slipping on a pair of underwear and getting under the covers.
Eli joined him only a minute later, taking the empty half of the bed.
Dami looked at them, not quite believing that this was true and not just a byproduct of his exhausted brain.
“Sleep tight.” Eli said, breaking the silence.
“I know I will. You sleep tight too.” He kissed their cheek before pulling them close to him, effectively turning them into a little spoon and nodding off almost instantly.
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ryik-the-writer · 2 years
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CHAPTER 31: Alone
A03
      Chapter 1: Pan meets a Wendy
·         Chapter 2: Scars (Felix’s Story)
·         Chapter 3: Day One
·         Chapter 4: Revenge and Fireflies
·         Chapter 5: Brighter than Stars
·         Chapter 6: filler: The Tigress
·         Chapter 7: Operation Spotless!
·         Chapter 8: Operation Spotless: Reporters Down
·         Chapter 9: A Dance with the Devil
·         Chapter 10: filler: Felix and the Pancake
·         Chapter 11: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 1
·         Chapter 12: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 2
·         Chapter 13: The Girl With Blue Eyes: Underground
·         Chapter 14. Recovery
·         Chapter 14.2 Recovery some more
·         Chapter 15: Trapped
    Chapter 16: Filth
    Chapter 17: Fairydust pt. 1
    Chapter 18: Fairydust pt. 2
    Chapter 19: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3
    Chapter 20: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 2
    Chapter 21: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3
    Chapter 22: Reflections pt. 1
    Chapter 23: Reflections pt. 2
    Chapter 24: Closing
    Chapter 25: Felix is helping Pan
    Chapter 26: Temporary Fix
    Chapter 27: The Search Begins
     Chapter 28: The Missing Pan
     Chapter 29: Instincts
     Chapter 30: Temperance
    Chapter 30.5: Circuits
------
Life's weird, you know? I'm 26 years old and I'm essentially trying to start over.
I've quit my most recent job – and possible career—as a journalist. It was from a combination of exhaustion and a disagreement with management, but the job was leaving me no time or energy to pursue my personal writing. I've been very depressed the past few years and am making some adjustments in my life to try to ease it. I don't know what's happening next, but I want to be me again, and that may take a while. But, in the meantime, I think the best place to start is here.
P.S. I've been working on this chapter since February. It's good to finally get it out.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"We're almost there, okay?" Graham said to the shaking girl beside him, keeping his eyes on the road. If he looked at her, he'd go back to the docks and tear that damned ship apart with his own hands. He'd prefer its owner.
Wendy didn't respond, her bloodshot eyes trained on the passing town, the icy window cooling her burnt cheek.
She was so drained following her confrontation with Jones, but she was angrier at herself than anything else.
She let him go. She let him go and she didn't know why.
He was right there in front of her and she had distracted him long enough that if she had sent the call to Graham he would have been there in moments, gun drawn and handcuffs awaiting Pan's kidnapper.
But she let him go!
"Stupid, fucking stupid!" Wendy husked, fresh tears starting to flow.
"No you're not," Graham soothed.
"I let him go I let him go…" Wendy yelled before breaking down all over again.
Graham gripped the steering wheel hard, trying desperately to contain his firm composure.
Wendy was in trouble and he had no choice but to bring her into custody. As the sheriff, it was his duty, as the man who'd gotten to know her, who'd helped as many times that he had, he was devastated for her.
His fingers twisted into the rough leather, years of police work helping him ease into an impassive state so that her cries wouldn't affect him.
Almost.
He turned down the road to get her to the hospital. He'd have to have Whale look her over for legality sake, but then it'd be off to the station.
He was half-hoping Jones had threatened her, forcibly coerced her into letting him go. At least then she'd be innocent on that level.
After all…Jones did have valuable information on her…
Before he could muse on that subject any further, they arrived at the hospital, and Graham decided to let the matter rest for now. He had a lot of calls to make and Wendy couldn't do much more harm in a secure hospital room.
They sat in the car a moment longer, each musing on their own thoughts.
Wendy had let go of a madman and she couldn't pinpoint why. If it had been de Vil or Jekyll they'd be in a jail cell by now, but why not Jones?
Because she was too close, she realized, and she still hadn't accepted that he had used her. That he lied to her face while Pan was dying just under her feet.
But he was going to let her go! Hell, he'd promised her twice.
And in the end he had…
"I can't kill you, Wendy, you've grown on me too much."
Wendy leaned her head back into the leather seat, groaning. Maybe he did have some shred of humility, fine, but he was still a kidnapper and most likely a murderer.
She'd messed up, Gods had she.
The shrill of a cellphone caused them both to bolt, Graham grabbing the device in his cup holder to silence it.
"Damn it," he cursed when he saw the number, shooting a look to Wendy. "Stay here."
His voice more cold than he'd wanted it to be. But he had to harden his heart now.
Back at the car, Wendy watched the exchange between Graham and whoever was on the other line blankly, her latest outburst having drained her.
The sheriff looked tense and his eyes would cut to her momentarily. Finally he ended the call and made a quick line to her door.
"Let's go," he sighed.
"Where—"
"Back to your room for now," Graham responded, not meeting her eyes.
Wendy allowed him to lead her back to the hospital.
A cold gust of air hit them when they entered the lobby, the very place Wendy had snuck from not even an hour before.
She glanced at the chairs Felix, Tink and August had been in and found them to be empty, but more yelling caused her to turn to the circulatory desk.
"We just want to make sure they're alright!" Tink yelled at the nurse.
"And I've told you unless you're family—"
"We are family!" Tink shot back.
"Enough!" Graham yelled, all but shoving Wendy into the open elevator. "Visiting hours are over. I want you all to go home and I don't want to see you again tonight or so help me I will throw you all in a cell!"
The trio stiffened. Graham had never been this firm before, this…angry.
Tink's eyes met Wendy's. There were so many things they knew they wanted to say, and Wendy was desperate for some kind of comfort.
"I'll bring you some things," Tink said with an uneasy smile.
"Bring them to the station," Graham muttered as he closed the elevator, leaving the trio and Wendy stunned.
The sheriff said nothing to his charge as they traveled to their destination. Wendy knew she was in dire trouble, but she couldn't muster enough fear to truly care. Her mind was too otherwise occupied.
They made to their floor and Wendy stepped out without instruction.
"Just get cleaned up and stay put," he sighed as he opened the door, pausing when he saw that the other occupant was wide awake…
And going through the file he'd left behind.
Wendy gasped at the site of Pan sitting upright in his bed. Just an hour ago she hadn't even been sure he'd ever open his eyes again.
But his eyes were wildly searching through the contents of the file, tearing at the pages with strength he shouldn't have.
"Pan…"
His eyebrows were drawn down in a way that made him confused. He blinked once and finally looked up at her and his expression was utterly unreadable.
That is until he turned to Graham and fire arose in his eyes.
"Is he locked up? Have you told her?" His voice was a bare croak..
Graham came around her and snatched the file from Pan's hands, papers flying about the room.
"You are always…" Graham began with a growl, stopping as his nails tore into the papers in his fingers.
Pan looked between them and at the paper that had flown on the floor. Jekyll's blank face was staring up at her and it was making her nauseous.
But there was something else.
"Have. You. Told. Her!" Pan yelled, his voice breaking from exhaustion.
Graham kept his jaw clenched, is eyes cutting to another series of photos that his officers and pulled from Jones's ship.
Wendy followed his gaze and met the sheriff's, who seemed to beg her not to move, not to think about the situation going on around her.
But she was shaking at this point, terrified and so very confused.
She darted to the photos Graham was staring at, feeling the ghost of his hand grasp at her to stop her, but to no avail.
"Wendy wait—"
But she had one photo turned over, and her blood ran cold.
The faces staring back at her were friendly. Their authentic smile should have comforted her.
But instead they filled her with the most gut-wrenching horror she'd felt to date.
They were the smiles of her parents, her dear mother who never had an unkind word for anyone. Who braved cancer so that her only daughter could seek her own adventure without guilt or burden. Her firm father, who wasn't unkind, but had no patience to try to understand his daughter. Wendy wanted to fix that one day. Her brothers, so young, still coming into their own.
And her. At least, Wendy thought it was. She could barely recognize the girl in the photo, bright eyes and unscarred skin.
It was a picture that, to her knowledge, only existed on her hallway table in her apartment and her parents' mantle at home.
Why was it in one of the boxes that had been on Jones' ship?
"Miss Darling?"
Wendy blinked, the motion slow. The act of lifting her head to look at the Sherriff's face was nearly impossible to do. Her life had been sucked from every cell in her body.
What had she done?
"Miss Darling," Graham repeated. He sounded so far away. Wendy could almost believe he wasn't in the room.
In the distance, a deep grunted cough. And then another until the sound was a constant, frightening hum.
Graham vanished from her view in a flash and she heard his voice burst.
"Pan! Nurse, get in here!"
Wendy found the strength to turn her head.
Pan was bouncing up and down on the bed, mouth agaped, gasping for air that wouldn't come.
"Whale!" Graham screamed as he tried to stabilize Pan.
A broken sound left her throat. Not Pan. Not now.
"Don't …" she croaked, collapsing miserably as struggled to lift herself to her knees.
Don't go.
"Get her—"
What had she done?
"Away!"
Then…
Shifting.
She couldn't see Pan any more. She'd been pulled into a separate part of the room, a thick curtain drawn to obscure him from her view.
But the noise was all too clear.
"P—P—"
"Get Whale in here now!"
Wendy's voice cracked and she has to use both hands to block out her sobbing.
What had she done?
A shift.
Like waves.
The light had changed both inside and outside the room. It must be night now.
On a ship.
Wendy sat up from her hard hospital bed, the curtain drawn around her making her feel more closed in. Suffocated.
The only relief was the thing line separating the curtain from the wall, giving her the barest glimpse of the rest of the room.
The sounds of the hospital's machines lulled her into an outward sense of calm. On the inside however, her blood was crawling.
Hours seemed to pass as she watched the minimum activity occur from that slit. Nurses checking Pan's vitals, checking his monitor. He didn't move once.
"He almost died," once nurse whispered.
"Him?" the other gasped, looking hurriedly back and forth between the comatose boy and her workmate. "Unbelievable! Of all the times he's been in this hospital…"
They blessedly left her alone.
Even if they had looked in to check on her, she wouldn't have been able to reply or cooperate. The shock of the last day had left her numb, incapable of feeling anything but the weight of her mistakes.
It was heavier each time she saw the tense rise and fall of Pan's chest as oxygen was manually pumped into his body by machines. In the way the tube down his throat shook on occasion.
This was the stillest she'd ever seen the wild boy. It was unnerving, like a lucid nightmare.
"Please, open your eyes."
Heal this scar on my heart.
His silence did allow her to think, however.
Her family was in some kind of apparent danger. Why would Jones have a photo of them? What had she or Pan done to make them targets?
She wondered if Graham had notified them or at least the authorities in London. Were they safe? Were they—
No. She couldn't think that. If Jones let her live, certainly he'd exchange the same curtesy to her parents and two underage boys, right?
Wendy slowly sat up, letting blood flow more evenly to her as she urged adrenaline to return. She couldn't just lie here. She couldn't risk her family not knowing they could be in danger.
She eased her legs off the side of the bed carefully, both for balance sake and caution. The nurses would very well tie her to the bed if they saw her walking around. And she had the suspicion that Graham was ready to throw her in a jail cell for the trouble she'd caused.
She was formulating a half-hazard plan in her groggy mind, and it would take someone more diabolical than she to help her optimize it.
She had to get to her family.
Her bag and clothes were laid out neatly on the counter between her and Pan's bed. She grabbed her bag and hugged it to her chest as she slid down to the foot of her bed, trying to stay out of sight from the roaming nurses outside. She breathed in relief as she found her cellphone. 20%. That was enough to make the call she needed.
She hands shook as she dialed the appropriate numbers to make a long-distance call to London and waited to hear her mother's gentle greeting or even her father's more gruff one.
A click.
"Mother?"
We're sorry, we cannot connect this call. Your service is out of bound. Hang up and –
"Damn it!" Wendy shouted, gaining just enough composure to quiet down before a nurse showed up.
Her mind raced like the wind during a sea storm, all her ideas scattered like the remains of a wrecked ship.
Then suddenly, a glimpse of clarity. The eye of the storm.
The eye of the devil himself.
Wendy readied her cell phone to make another call.
No, not to Tink or Felix, or even Lily or August. Too risky. They needed to be here for Pan.
No, she needed someone darker, someone who didn't have anyone else to lose.
She grimaced when she felt the crumpled up business card at the bottom of her bag. For a split second, she hoped it wasn't the one she was looking for, but of course it was.
She gripped it tightly in her clasped hands, hesitatingly heavily. She glanced at Pan's unconscious form, wishing desperately that he would open his eyes and talk her out of what she was about to do. Yell at her. Call her names. Anything.
But he was comatose because of her. She had no right to hurt him anymore.
She took a deep breath and checked once more that there wasn't a nurse coming dialed in the number on the card, hoping they wouldn't answer. It was late after all. Well past business hours—
"Gold's Pawnshop."
Wendy closed her eyes, feeling a nauseous sense of regret hit her.
"Hello?" The voice on the other line inquired more aggressively.
"M-Mr. Gold," Wendy finally spoke just when she thought he would hung up. "It's…It's Wendy Darling."
The pause that followed sounded like the silence after a car crash, when a survivor was still trying to determine if they had survived or not.
When Wendy heard the haunting chuckle that followed her greeting, she was more than certain that at one point in the last few days she must have died.
She was entering the lowest level of hell.
"Miss Darling," Gold spoke. Wendy could picture the large grin spreading over his sharp face. "What can I do for you?"
Wendy fussed with the card in her hand, the silky cardstock a scalding coal in palm.
"I need your assistance getting out of Storybrooke, preferably in the next hour,"
"Does the Mirror not pay you vacation time, Miss Darling?"
Wendy clenched her teeth. "Please, stop."
She hadn't meant the words to come out as a choked sob, but the stress from the last few days were weighing her down fast and she no longer had the ability to hold up her control.
Gold seemed to sense her distress and cut to the chase.
"What's happened?"
"I…I…I can't…" Wendy slipped down the wall, clutching the phone for dear life. "It's complicated, but I got involved with someone who has put everyone I care about in danger."
"Is this about Pan's disappearance?" Gold questioned evenly, even the barest hint of concern absent from his voice.
Wendy decided not to focus on that, knew she'd say something that would end their conversation abruptly is she did.
"It's more about the person who caused his disappearance, partially I mean," she tugged on the edges of her hair nervously. "Bottom line, he's done with Pan and Storybrooke, I think, but my family in London might be next on his list."
Gold remained quiet as Wendy summed up the details from the last few hours, not pressing for any unnecessary details.
"I know it's asking for a lot very quickly, but …" Wendy allowed herself to trail off, not having the strength or the mentality to press on. He knew what she needed, he didn't need the sob story.
"It's quite the request indeed," he commented. Wendy could heard the wickedness rise once more in his voice. "But I accept, but I need something from you first."
"I have every intention of paying you back."
"Not's hardly a concern of mine, Miss Darling," he said. "What I need from you is something a bit more personal."
Wendy gripped the phone tightly. Wendy hadn't thought she'd underestimated him this entire time. She'd seen the darkness in his eyes, saw it in his cold, calculating smile.
She thought briefly of Belle, recalled the gentle way she heard him speak to her at the hospital. Had that been a farce, or had he simply pulled down his mask long enough to appear human. At the time of the young woman's rescue, Wendy wondered if perhaps Gold would recall Wendy's part in saving her and call them even.
"What is it?" she asked, accepting her fate.
He was quite for a moment, but the words he spoke next chilled her.
"I need you to tell me how much you need my help,"
Wendy blinked, generally unsure just what he meant.
"Pardon?"
His cold chuckle followed.
"I know how to recognize a desperate soul, and you are by far the most desperate one I've met to date."
Wendy shook her head, unable to fully comprehend what he was asking of her.
"What…I…I…"
"And I want you ask yourself why that is," he continued.
Those final words hit her like a bucket of ice. Every faux decision she'd made in the last few weeks.
She hadn't meant to hurt anyone. Hadn't ever wanted to. It just happened, and she inadvertently isolated herself from anyone who cared for her.
She looked at Pan's unconscious form once more. It was easy to blame him. He'd twisted every decent thing she'd tried to accomplish. He burned everything he touched.
But she'd made her own choices. She chose to allow him in her life and kept him too close. He'd gotten hurt in the process.
In a way, he would have been better off if she had cut him out.
"This is my price, Miss Darling," he said. "You may take it, or we can part, and we'll speak nothing more of this conversation.
"Fine. I need your help. I…I really need your help."
"Because?"
A hot tear ran down her cheek. It felt like the barest of defeat.
"I'm…"
All.
Alone.
"I'm desperate."
She heard the lightest hum as his response. It was almost a gluttonal sound. She wasn't sure how she would have reacted if she'd heard him laugh.
"Very good, Miss Darling," he said at last. Wendy managed to keep her chin from wobbling.
"Now, I need you to follow my next instructions very carefully. Are you able to leave the hospital?"
Wendy straightened up. Her family. She had to leave.
"I can try, but there's nurses everywhere. I think Sheriff Graham has me on some kind of unspoken lockdown."
Gold hummed once more, this one more calculating than gratified.
"I'll handle him. Now Miss Darling, I want you to dress and gather what you have with you and be ready to leave. When I hang up, I need you to wait exactly 15 minutes. Exactly that, do you understand?"
"Yes." Wendy replied half-heartedly.
"Good. When you're 15 minutes start, you'll make your way down the hospital stairs. Under no circumstances are you to go near the elevators."
"Cameras." Wendy concluded.
"Very good," he praised, though the comment had the weight of an insult.
"Then, when you come out on the first floor, you're going to take a left until you get to the west wing, the one adjacent to the children's ward, do you recall?"
Wendy felt her entire body tense.
The darkness. The smell of mold. Belle's wile, blue eyes.
That horrid man's hands around her neck.
"No." she said definitively. "I can't go through there. I won't."
"Yes you will." Gold said firmly.
"There's another way, there has to be," Wendy pled. How was it that she'd been in this hospital so many damn times but hadn't learned the exit routes?
"Just maybe there is, but do you really want to waste time exploring those options?"
Wendy seethed. "You're doing this on purpose. You're sick!"
She was greeted with a humorless chuckle. "I'm many things, Miss Darling, but right now I'm the one person in the world who could help you."
That's not so, Wendy wanted to say, but she dared not bring Felix or Tink or even August into this. This man seemed to gain power over anyone who gave him their name.
"Then what?" She croaked.
Why are you doing this? I helped you.
"You'll vacate the ward and you'll continue along the wall of the west wing until you come across an overgrown parking lot about a quarter of mile past the hospital. There's an overgrown courtyard you must go through. A man by the name of Mr. Dove will be there waiting for you with a car. You'll go with him and he'll escort you to Boston. By the time you reach there, a one-way ticket should be awaiting you."
The term 'one-way' perked Wendy's attention. Did he think she made no plans to return? Did she at this point?
"Is all that agreeable?"
Wendy hesitated. What was waiting for her if she returned? Scorned friends who were better off without her? An unstable job she was more than certain she was fired from at this point? A jail sentence?
She glanced at Pan, unconscious and oddly peaceful-looking.
"Yes," Wendy answered. "I'll meet him there."
"Very good," Gold said. "Fifteen minutes, Miss Darling."
"Yes." Wendy agreed, ready to hang up.
"Oh, and Miss Darling?"
Wendy flinched, begrudgingly lifting the phone to her ear.
"Yes?"
"Such a pleasure hearing from you again."
He hung up before she could respond, leaving her in blessedly silent quiet.
She sat there for a moment more, trying to decide exactly what consequences she'd see for making a deal with a shark like Mr. Gold. It couldn't be any worse than the rawness in her soul.
She wiped her face. She couldn't think about that now, couldn't focus on anything but getting to her family.
Fifteen minutes. Exactly fifteen minutes.
She began to move, gathering what little she had with her and changing, her stomach lurching at every sound. She eyed the door as she finished, hearing the distance taps of nurses shoes go back and forth.
She silenced her phone, ready to leave, but the site of Pan's still form from the corner of her eye caused her to pause.
She lowered her head in a sense of shame, each beep of his heart monitor stabbing at her.
He didn't respond when she stood over him, her hand's hovering above his form, unsure of where to go.
Ten minutes.
Wasn't there evidence that comatose patience could sense the outward world? Hear, smell and even imagine everything around them?
Looking at him, Wendy had to doubt that theory. He was so still. So unlike the every-moving wild boy who brought so much chaos in and out of her life.
Wendy grazed her fingers over his hand where the IV pumped life into his veins.
The nurses said his dehydration had led to a severe kidney infection. He had just narrowly missed full organ failure by a day.
"Pan," she whispered. "I…I'm sorry for everything. For my part in hurting you. For not seeing Jones for what he was."
Of course she received no reply. In a way she was thankful for that. If he was awake, would he talk her out of this? Try to be some sort of voice of reason? Or would he encourage this dangerous and wayward idea?
Five minutes left.
She continued to graze his skin, counting every second until she could move.
Why did Gold give her such a specific time limit?
"You never really told me about him." she said to Pan. "You didn't tell me how dark he really was."
Wendy found the gal to turn her hand and grip his hand.
"What else did he do to you Pan? Why do you hate him so much?"
Pan's hand flinched under hers.
She would have thought the scream that followed next was his if it wasn't for the flashing lights above her head.
Times up.
Wendy stilled as chaos erupted outside, nurses yelling, running back and forth trying to make sense of what was going on.
But she knew. It was time to go.
"I'm sorry," she said hastily to Pan, missing how his fingers curled inward—trying to stop her.
Wendy stuck her head carefully from the room, having to squint through the flashing red light that bathed the upper level of Storybrooke Hospital. The alarm had summoned all the nurses and the security guards to it, giving her a chance to escape unseen.
She took a deep breath and made a beeline for the stairs that would get her on the first floor.
Her ears were ringing and her vision was blurring from the aggressive lights. Coupled with her exhaustion, it was almost enough to make her pass out. She kept losing her grip on the stair railing and had to claw at the wall to keep from barreling down.
She paused when she saw the dingy, dented door that led to the forbidden ward. It was her only exit, the quickest way to get to her family and ensure their safety.
It was ridiculous to be afraid. Sheriff Graham had looked the place up and down. There was no one in there now. It was empty and dead.
But in Wendy's mind, they were still in there.
Suddenly, the alarm stopped, the agonizing red siren paused, bathing the hospital in the sickening white light. It was now or never. She inhaled sharply and ripped open the door, the dank air sucking her in. Trapping her in as she slammed the door behind her.
Wendy squinted into the dark gray hallway, trying to control her breathing, listening intently to every sound the dank ward had to offer.
She had a ride waiting for her, that's what Mr. Gold said. They'd leave, and then she'd truly be lost. She had to move. She had to move.
She kept her palms on the wall, her hands shaking as she crept carefully down the hall.
"There's nothing here," Wendy whispered to herself. "I'm alone here, I just need to get to the exit…I just need to get out."
Her grip on the wall became more frantic as she ventured further, the hallway advancing into a darkness she'd only see in the depths of her dreams.
The space around was beginning to feel more dream-like, as if she were walking through an inky cloud, surrounded by thick air that threatened to evaporate at any moment.
Dropping her to a slow, expected death.
As the pressure changed, so did Wendy's vision. Burst of reds and greens flashed before her, overstimulating her shaken mind. She began to get disoriented, fearful that she'd gotten lost and she would never find the exit. There was no light, nothing to lead her out.
But then, a shift. A flicker of icy wind licked her cheek.
And something swiped at her hair.
Wendy shot forward, the scream stuck in the depths of her throat shooting upwards to her brain.
No no no no no no no no.
She had to leave, whether out a new exit or to her death she didn't care.
She kept running into the darkness, anemic lines of right becoming more prominent, revealing she was closer to freedom.
Or perhaps it was her own mind singing its desperation for escape.
There was no door, no natural means of escape. The hallway only seemed to get longer.
As full-blown panic began to morph into sheer delusion, instinct kicked in. Wendy searched for the source of the scarce light until she found a filthy window. She used her sleeves to wipe it frantically, her fingers outlining the trees she could just see in the distant.
She pushed at it, trying frantically to get it open as her desperation rose.
A long bead of sweat dove down her spine, her arms shaking from excursion.
"Let me out!" she yelled, slamming her hand on the window until it was caked with a thick layer of dirt and dust.
"Please," she gasped as she began to beat on the glass again. Her only escape. "NOW!"
Wendy's palm burst through the glass, the crisp icy air embodying her freedom. She felt the blood before she felt the sting of the shards breaking into her skin but she continued to push and punch to get out of the forbidden wing.
With a final burst of adrenaline, she grabbed the edges of the window and pulled herself through the narrow space, the surrounding shrubbery scratching at her skin.
Her hips were just barely able to get through, and Wendy was certain she could feel something pulling at her ankles, trying to pull her back into the dark.
She clawed at the out wall for extra leverage, giving her just what she need to squeeze out of the window and hit the hard ground.
Wendy crawled as quickly as she could from the building, flipping onto her back to defend herself against the thing that had been lurking in the ward.
But she was met with nothing but darkness and blissful quiet. Whatever phantom that had plagued her has simply vanished.
Wendy took in a shaky breath, piecing her thoughts together bit by bit.
She had escaped the hospital, though the commotion she just made would no doubt garner unwanted attention. She had to keep moving. She had to get to her family.
She sighed and began to stand, shrieking when a piercing pain erupted though her right hand, arm and hip. She looked down in horror and saw flakes of glass sticking out of her limbs, the testament to her escape. She couldn't even flex her fingers. Each time the glass would stab at her damaged hands.
Wendy's frustration finally boiled over and she let out a great scream, one worthy of a cryptid.
"FUCK!" she yelled as loud as she could, a sharp sob breaking through her throat. For several moments she couldn't stop sobbing, couldn't be brave any more.
The last few months had been pure Hell and she had taken all the hits, numbed herself to the consequences in an attempt to move forward. But it wasn't just her psyche that took a dive this time. It was her heart and her spirit. Killian Jones had shown her the first bout of affection she's truly felt in weeks, made her feel more human that the soulless heap she'd felt like. Pan had long damaged her spirit, but she'd nearly lost her heart completely when she saw him in that hospital room. On death's door because of her.
Now her family—her parents and dear brothers—could be in the same state because she didn't have the gall to pull the trigger on Jones. What if he was there already? Could she do it this time?
She'd never find out if she stayed here sobbing in the dirt, she decided. She wiped her eyes, taking in several calming breaths. Yeah, she'd made some misguided decisions lately, but she had the chance to at least amend one. She'd made a deal with the devil to get to London and she had to go through with it, even if she had to face Graham's wrath when she returned.
She stood with a grimace, hissing as blood ran down her arms and legs, and began limping towards the aforementioned courtyard that modeled yet another maze of horrors. But, with the thought that she was yet another step closer to getting to her family before Jones did, she limped bravely into the weave of dead vines and branches.
She began to look back at the space she just left – wanted to catch a glimpse of the monsters who forced her through that beacon of hell—but decided against it as tears began to well into her eyes.
She'd had enough of that place.
The moon acted as Wendy's only guide and only light source save a few illegally dimmed streetlights. She pulled and fought of dead thorns as she moved closer to what she could make out as a black sea.
Wendy stumbled through the rest of the shrubbery. A glance behind her proved she's put in a good half mile from the hospital—which had otherwise been silent following her escape.
Knowing her time was still extremely limited, she search around quickly to spot an older-fashioned car and a notably tall man standing at its rear.
Wendy approached the two cautiously, both throbbing limbs and paranoid suspicion bubbling through her. This could easily be a trap from Gold—a diabolical and brutally cruel scenario to tease her exhausted mind. It would surely incriminate her to a tee. She's be sitting in Sheriff Graham's jail for the rest of her life.
But she had everything to lose, so she paused at the car, several feet from the large man.
Wendy cleared her dry throat—vaguely tasting dust—and coughed out a greeting to the man. He turned around effortlessly, his eyes evaluating her with a calm and potently disinterested scowl.
"Mr…bird?" Wendy coughed.
"Dove, actually," the man returned with a curt nod, his tone more softer than his appearance had previewed. "Miss Darling, I presume."
Wendy felt a twinge of relief, nodding.
Mr. Dove nodded and stepped around the car—oddly seeming smaller not that he was closer to Wendy. He opened the back passenger door and waved Wendy to it.
"We haven't much time, so I'm afraid we'll have to go straight to the Boston Airport,"
Wendy tensed. "We can't stop by my apartment quickly? I'm sorry, but I have to grab my cellphone charger, not to mention my passport—"
Mr. Dove moved slightly, holding out a shoulder bag thick with items.
"Mr. Gold had me gather the proper documentation. I'm afraid you'll have to figure out your toiletries in your own time."
Wendy's face paled, an unfortunate image of this perfect stranger filtering through her intimate belongings but accepted the bag quickly.
"I guess this is it," Wendy sighed, feeling a strange emptiness weigh her.
"Yes," Dove answered. "If you'll please—"
The irritating sound of a revved engine spearing towards them caused Wendy and Mr. Dove both to pause. Both shot towards the reverberating sound as a pair of headlights beamed closer to them.
Wendy sucked in a breath. If it was Graham, she was done for!
Mr. Dove tensed beside him and Wendy gasped when his hand drew into his oversized coat for what must have been a weapon.
The car – a pea green Voltzwagon Bug – came to a screeching halt in front of them, its owner stepping out with a growl.
"Tink!" Wendy gasped.
"Miss Le Bell?"
Tink burst out of her pea-green bug, the door slamming so hard behind her Wendy feared the sound echoed into the hospital.
The blond woman glared back before her Wendy and the excessively tall man who seemed to know her.
She stopped in front of them, hands on her hips, and they both seemed to shrink under her sharp gaze.
"I knew it," Tink said, the words like acid. "I felt it in my bones. Something is wrong and you're working with…"
"It's not what you think!" Wendy jumped in.
Tink gave her an incredulous look and turned her ire back towards the excessively tall man before them.
"Mr. Dove," Tink said as a form of greeting. "Please?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Le Bell," Dove spoke evenly. "This is between Miss Darling and Mr. Gold."
"Well now it's between her and me," Tink said, stepping around to the passenger side of her car. She opened her door, begging Wendy's cooperation with her eyes.
"Wendy, please get in."
"I can't," Wendy said, though she was itching to get into Tink's warm and familiar BMW than Gold's cold and ominous Cadillac.
"Wendy, whatever's going on, whatever you did or what you're running from, associating with Mr. Gold is not the way to fix your problem," Tink said.
"I don't have a choice," Wendy said simply. "I don't have time to explain, and I know I have no right asking you for anything…" she swallowed guiltily. "Please Tink, don't say anything and don't try to stop me."
Tink shook her head. "Wendy, let me help you. Gold is the last person you can trust. The second you accept something from him, your deal never ends. Whatever's happened to you, it's not worth chaining yourself to him."
"It is if it keeps my friends and family safe," Wendy countered before frowning. "Family, I mean."
Tink sighed. "Wendy, what happened between me and Mother Superior, that had nothing to do with you."
"Of course it is!" Wendy said.
"No," Tink said as she shook her head. She bowed it next as the next thought came to her. "It's kind of like Pan said, she had it coming. I hate her lies were exposed the way they were, but in the end, I'm glad it's all over with. Yes, I'm angry, but I'm ready to move on, and I am so sorry you got hurt and mixed up with this."
Wendy struggled not to cave. Tink wouldn't dare try to use mental manipulation with her, but this still stalling her even if her words seemed sincere.
"I…" Wendy gulped, too many thoughts swarming her senses.
"I…I can't do this now," Wendy cried. "I have to go."
"Where are you going? What's going on Wendy, let me help you!"
"I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me! Please Tink, let me handle this."
"Not like this," Tink said firmly, turning her sharp gaze to Dove. "Where are you taking her? I'll take her there."
"Tink, no—" Wendy begged.
"Don't be like Pan, Wendy," Tink yelled. Wendy stiffened. "Don't push everyone away when things become too much! You have people who care about you! Let them help you. Whatever's happened, don't go at it alone."
Wendy stared at her former friend. How could one person be so sure when everything was falling around them? Was Tink right? Was she doing what Pan would do and push people away? He did do that, but there were moments when she could feel that all he wanted was to reach out. However, he disguised this need with cruelty, either due to a lack of compassion or a fear of intimacy she had yet to discover..
And now Wendy was doing the same thing.
You're just as filthy and selfish as he is.
Even though she wanted to protect Tink, she also didn't want to leave Storybrooke with a complete stranger.
Wendy turned to Dove, who was still watching their interaction quietly.
"I'd like to go with her, please,"
Dove nodded. "I can't stop you, but I will have to alert Mr. Gold of this change."
"You may do so," Wendy said, slinging the bag with her passport protectively over her shoulder.
Dove looked down at his watch. "I'd suggest you move quickly then. You're flight for London leave at 4 a.m."
Tink stiffened. "London?"
Wendy looked at her helplessly and Tink didn't press the subject further.
"Boston Airport it is."
Wendy nodded and got into Tink's warm car, putting on her seatbelt as Tink typed the directions in her phone.
Wendy looked at Dove through the rearview mirror as they drove off. He was a still as a statute, and she truly hoped he was more friend than foe. Still, she wondered what the repercussions of her decision would be with Gold. But she couldn't think of that right now. She couldn't think of anything but getting to London.
"Check the glove compartment." Tink said suddenly.
"What?"
Tink took her eyes off the road for a moment to nod at Wendy's hands and legs.
"You're bleeding. I think I have some antiseptic and gauze in my first aid kit. It's in the glove compartment."
"Oh!" Wendy said, the pain creeping back into her limbs. Her hands were blood and dirty as were her jeans. A thick, dry gash stained her entire thigh. Wendy viciously rubbed at the area with Tink's provided wet wipes, biting her lip to keep from hissing at the pain. No doubt she'd need to clean it properly when she reached London. She parents may insist she see a doctor.
Tink remained quiet as they drove but Wendy could sense her tension. Her hands gripped the steering wheel firmly, a hint of white spreading across her knuckles.
"I can't tell you much right now," Wendy said, looking out the window so she wouldn't meet Tink's eyes.
"I figured," she returned. "But…I'm willing to listen. You know that, right?"
Wendy did. And she was more than grateful. But she didn't want her to taint her with her sins. Tink deserved so much better than that.
Thankfully, Tink didn't breach the subject any further and they soon arrived at the airport with ample time to spare.
"Do you want me to walk in with you?" Tink inquired.
"I'm fine, thank you," Wendy said as she opened the door.
"Hold on," Tink said, undoing her seatbelt and turning to search through her back seat. Wendy was surprised when she pulled out one of Wendy's tote back, her cellphone charger poised at the overflowing bag's contents.
"I…"
"Told you I'd bring you some things," Tink finished, giving her a half smile. "I got you Wendy, no matter what."
Wendy hugged the bag closely to her, the familiar scent of her clothing causing tears to well in her eyes. And try as Wendy did, she couldn't stop them from flowing. She was sobbing before she could stop herself, harder than she had even at the hospital.
Tink allowed her a few moments to get started before she leaned in and wrapped her arms around her, allowing her to sob into her shoulder.
"It's okay," Tink said.
As she continued to release her anguish, Wendy thought perhaps she was right. She survived so much so far and Tink's compassion inspired her that she would survive this whole horror story.
She calmed finally, though Tink's comfort did not cease.
It was this comfort that allowed Wendy to belive—truly, truly believe—
She was not alone.
Felix never really knew what to make of August. He knew of his doomed relationship with Pan, knew it was just a bit more serious than some of his other trysts, but ultimately didn't survive Pan's chaotic mood and lifestyle.
Frankly, he wasn't fond of August. He hated how he'd hurt his father over and over again. Hated how casually he lived with the things he did.
But, he decided as they walked to Pan and Wendy's shared room, he had to have some decency if he went through all they had the last few days for Pan's sake. Pity his fondness was one-sided.
They entered the room the nurse below gave them, squinting in the black to see two empty and unmade beds.
"Maybe we're in the wrong room?"
Felix knew good and well they weren't. August knew it as well, but admitting to the sight before them would lead to a whole new wave of trouble.
Pan's bed was empty, his IVs thrown carelessly to the floor.
His window—fully opened—had let in a strangely warm and terrifying breeze in his absence.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Geez, I finally got Pan off that ship … but where is he now?
Life's weird, you know? I'm 26 years old and I'm essentially trying to start over.
I've quit my most recent job – and possible career—as a journalist. It was from a combination of exhaustion and a disagreement with management, but the job was leaving me no time or energy to pursue my personal writing. I've been very depressed the past few years and am making some adjustments in my life to try to ease it. I don't know what's happening next, but I want to be me again, and that may take a while. But, in the meantime, I think the best place to start is here.
P.S. I've been working on this chapter since February. It's good to finally get it out.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"We're almost there, okay?" Graham said to the shaking girl beside him, keeping his eyes on the road. If he looked at her, he'd go back to the docks and tear that damned ship apart with his own hands. He'd prefer its owner.
Wendy didn't respond, her bloodshot eyes trained on the passing town, the icy window cooling her burnt cheek.
She was so drained following her confrontation with Jones, but she was angrier at herself than anything else.
She let him go. She let him go and she didn't know why.
He was right there in front of her and she had distracted him long enough that if she had sent the call to Graham he would have been there in moments, gun drawn and handcuffs awaiting Pan's kidnapper.
But she let him go!
"Stupid, fucking stupid!" Wendy husked, fresh tears starting to flow.
"No you're not," Graham soothed.
"I let him go I let him go…" Wendy yelled before breaking down all over again.
Graham gripped the steering wheel hard, trying desperately to contain his firm composure.
Wendy was in trouble and he had no choice but to bring her into custody. As the sheriff, it was his duty, as the man who'd gotten to know her, who'd helped as many times that he had, he was devastated for her.
His fingers twisted into the rough leather, years of police work helping him ease into an impassive state so that her cries wouldn't affect him.
Almost.
He turned down the road to get her to the hospital. He'd have to have Whale look her over for legality sake, but then it'd be off to the station.
He was half-hoping Jones had threatened her, forcibly coerced her into letting him go. At least then she'd be innocent on that level.
After all…Jones did have valuable information on her…
Before he could muse on that subject any further, they arrived at the hospital, and Graham decided to let the matter rest for now. He had a lot of calls to make and Wendy couldn't do much more harm in a secure hospital room.
They sat in the car a moment longer, each musing on their own thoughts.
Wendy had let go of a madman and she couldn't pinpoint why. If it had been de Vil or Jekyll they'd be in a jail cell by now, but why not Jones?
Because she was too close, she realized, and she still hadn't accepted that he had used her. That he lied to her face while Pan was dying just under her feet.
But he was going to let her go! Hell, he'd promised her twice.
And in the end he had…
"I can't kill you, Wendy, you've grown on me too much."
Wendy leaned her head back into the leather seat, groaning. Maybe he did have some shred of humility, fine, but he was still a kidnapper and most likely a murderer.
She'd messed up, Gods had she.
The shrill of a cellphone caused them both to bolt, Graham grabbing the device in his cup holder to silence it.
"Damn it," he cursed when he saw the number, shooting a look to Wendy. "Stay here."
His voice more cold than he'd wanted it to be. But he had to harden his heart now.
Back at the car, Wendy watched the exchange between Graham and whoever was on the other line blankly, her latest outburst having drained her.
The sheriff looked tense and his eyes would cut to her momentarily. Finally he ended the call and made a quick line to her door.
"Let's go," he sighed.
"Where—"
"Back to your room for now," Graham responded, not meeting her eyes.
Wendy allowed him to lead her back to the hospital.
A cold gust of air hit them when they entered the lobby, the very place Wendy had snuck from not even an hour before.
She glanced at the chairs Felix, Tink and August had been in and found them to be empty, but more yelling caused her to turn to the circulatory desk.
"We just want to make sure they're alright!" Tink yelled at the nurse.
"And I've told you unless you're family—"
"We are family!" Tink shot back.
"Enough!" Graham yelled, all but shoving Wendy into the open elevator. "Visiting hours are over. I want you all to go home and I don't want to see you again tonight or so help me I will throw you all in a cell!"
The trio stiffened. Graham had never been this firm before, this…angry.
Tink's eyes met Wendy's. There were so many things they knew they wanted to say, and Wendy was desperate for some kind of comfort.
"I'll bring you some things," Tink said with an uneasy smile.
"Bring them to the station," Graham muttered as he closed the elevator, leaving the trio and Wendy stunned.
The sheriff said nothing to his charge as they traveled to their destination. Wendy knew she was in dire trouble, but she couldn't muster enough fear to truly care. Her mind was too otherwise occupied.
They made to their floor and Wendy stepped out without instruction.
"Just get cleaned up and stay put," he sighed as he opened the door, pausing when he saw that the other occupant was wide awake…
And going through the file he'd left behind.
Wendy gasped at the site of Pan sitting upright in his bed. Just an hour ago she hadn't even been sure he'd ever open his eyes again.
But his eyes were wildly searching through the contents of the file, tearing at the pages with strength he shouldn't have.
"Pan…"
His eyebrows were drawn down in a way that made him confused. He blinked once and finally looked up at her and his expression was utterly unreadable.
That is until he turned to Graham and fire arose in his eyes.
"Is he locked up? Have you told her?" His voice was a bare croak..
Graham came around her and snatched the file from Pan's hands, papers flying about the room.
"You are always…" Graham began with a growl, stopping as his nails tore into the papers in his fingers.
Pan looked between them and at the paper that had flown on the floor. Jekyll's blank face was staring up at her and it was making her nauseous.
But there was something else.
"Have. You. Told. Her!" Pan yelled, his voice breaking from exhaustion.
Graham kept his jaw clenched, is eyes cutting to another series of photos that his officers and pulled from Jones's ship.
Wendy followed his gaze and met the sheriff's, who seemed to beg her not to move, not to think about the situation going on around her.
But she was shaking at this point, terrified and so very confused.
She darted to the photos Graham was staring at, feeling the ghost of his hand grasp at her to stop her, but to no avail.
"Wendy wait—"
But she had one photo turned over, and her blood ran cold.
The faces staring back at her were friendly. Their authentic smile should have comforted her.
But instead they filled her with the most gut-wrenching horror she'd felt to date.
They were the smiles of her parents, her dear mother who never had an unkind word for anyone. Who braved cancer so that her only daughter could seek her own adventure without guilt or burden. Her firm father, who wasn't unkind, but had no patience to try to understand his daughter. Wendy wanted to fix that one day. Her brothers, so young, still coming into their own.
And her. At least, Wendy thought it was. She could barely recognize the girl in the photo, bright eyes and unscarred skin.
It was a picture that, to her knowledge, only existed on her hallway table in her apartment and her parents' mantle at home.
Why was it in one of the boxes that had been on Jones' ship?
"Miss Darling?"
Wendy blinked, the motion slow. The act of lifting her head to look at the Sherriff's face was nearly impossible to do. Her life had been sucked from every cell in her body.
What had she done?
"Miss Darling," Graham repeated. He sounded so far away. Wendy could almost believe he wasn't in the room.
In the distance, a deep grunted cough. And then another until the sound was a constant, frightening hum.
Graham vanished from her view in a flash and she heard his voice burst.
"Pan! Nurse, get in here!"
Wendy found the strength to turn her head.
Pan was bouncing up and down on the bed, mouth agaped, gasping for air that wouldn't come.
"Whale!" Graham screamed as he tried to stabilize Pan.
A broken sound left her throat. Not Pan. Not now.
"Don't …" she croaked, collapsing miserably as struggled to lift herself to her knees.
Don't go.
"Get her—"
What had she done?
"Away!"
Then…
Shifting.
She couldn't see Pan any more. She'd been pulled into a separate part of the room, a thick curtain drawn to obscure him from her view.
But the noise was all too clear.
"P—P—"
"Get Whale in here now!"
Wendy's voice cracked and she has to use both hands to block out her sobbing.
What had she done?
A shift.
Like waves.
The light had changed both inside and outside the room. It must be night now.
On a ship.
Wendy sat up from her hard hospital bed, the curtain drawn around her making her feel more closed in. Suffocated.
The only relief was the thing line separating the curtain from the wall, giving her the barest glimpse of the rest of the room.
The sounds of the hospital's machines lulled her into an outward sense of calm. On the inside however, her blood was crawling.
Hours seemed to pass as she watched the minimum activity occur from that slit. Nurses checking Pan's vitals, checking his monitor. He didn't move once.
"He almost died," once nurse whispered.
"Him?" the other gasped, looking hurriedly back and forth between the comatose boy and her workmate. "Unbelievable! Of all the times he's been in this hospital…"
They blessedly left her alone.
Even if they had looked in to check on her, she wouldn't have been able to reply or cooperate. The shock of the last day had left her numb, incapable of feeling anything but the weight of her mistakes.
It was heavier each time she saw the tense rise and fall of Pan's chest as oxygen was manually pumped into his body by machines. In the way the tube down his throat shook on occasion.
This was the stillest she'd ever seen the wild boy. It was unnerving, like a lucid nightmare.
"Please, open your eyes."
Heal this scar on my heart.
His silence did allow her to think, however.
Her family was in some kind of apparent danger. Why would Jones have a photo of them? What had she or Pan done to make them targets?
She wondered if Graham had notified them or at least the authorities in London. Were they safe? Were they—
No. She couldn't think that. If Jones let her live, certainly he'd exchange the same curtesy to her parents and two underage boys, right?
Wendy slowly sat up, letting blood flow more evenly to her as she urged adrenaline to return. She couldn't just lie here. She couldn't risk her family not knowing they could be in danger.
She eased her legs off the side of the bed carefully, both for balance sake and caution. The nurses would very well tie her to the bed if they saw her walking around. And she had the suspicion that Graham was ready to throw her in a jail cell for the trouble she'd caused.
She was formulating a half-hazard plan in her groggy mind, and it would take someone more diabolical than she to help her optimize it.
She had to get to her family.
Her bag and clothes were laid out neatly on the counter between her and Pan's bed. She grabbed her bag and hugged it to her chest as she slid down to the foot of her bed, trying to stay out of sight from the roaming nurses outside. She breathed in relief as she found her cellphone. 20%. That was enough to make the call she needed.
She hands shook as she dialed the appropriate numbers to make a long-distance call to London and waited to hear her mother's gentle greeting or even her father's more gruff one.
A click.
"Mother?"
We're sorry, we cannot connect this call. Your service is out of bound. Hang up and –
"Damn it!" Wendy shouted, gaining just enough composure to quiet down before a nurse showed up.
Her mind raced like the wind during a sea storm, all her ideas scattered like the remains of a wrecked ship.
Then suddenly, a glimpse of clarity. The eye of the storm.
The eye of the devil himself.
Wendy readied her cell phone to make another call.
No, not to Tink or Felix, or even Lily or August. Too risky. They needed to be here for Pan.
No, she needed someone darker, someone who didn't have anyone else to lose.
She grimaced when she felt the crumpled up business card at the bottom of her bag. For a split second, she hoped it wasn't the one she was looking for, but of course it was.
She gripped it tightly in her clasped hands, hesitatingly heavily. She glanced at Pan's unconscious form, wishing desperately that he would open his eyes and talk her out of what she was about to do. Yell at her. Call her names. Anything.
But he was comatose because of her. She had no right to hurt him anymore.
She took a deep breath and checked once more that there wasn't a nurse coming dialed in the number on the card, hoping they wouldn't answer. It was late after all. Well past business hours—
"Gold's Pawnshop."
Wendy closed her eyes, feeling a nauseous sense of regret hit her.
"Hello?" The voice on the other line inquired more aggressively.
"M-Mr. Gold," Wendy finally spoke just when she thought he would hung up. "It's…It's Wendy Darling."
The pause that followed sounded like the silence after a car crash, when a survivor was still trying to determine if they had survived or not.
When Wendy heard the haunting chuckle that followed her greeting, she was more than certain that at one point in the last few days she must have died.
She was entering the lowest level of hell.
"Miss Darling," Gold spoke. Wendy could picture the large grin spreading over his sharp face. "What can I do for you?"
Wendy fussed with the card in her hand, the silky cardstock a scalding coal in palm.
"I need your assistance getting out of Storybrooke, preferably in the next hour,"
"Does the Mirror not pay you vacation time, Miss Darling?"
Wendy clenched her teeth. "Please, stop."
She hadn't meant the words to come out as a choked sob, but the stress from the last few days were weighing her down fast and she no longer had the ability to hold up her control.
Gold seemed to sense her distress and cut to the chase.
"What's happened?"
"I…I…I can't…" Wendy slipped down the wall, clutching the phone for dear life. "It's complicated, but I got involved with someone who has put everyone I care about in danger."
"Is this about Pan's disappearance?" Gold questioned evenly, even the barest hint of concern absent from his voice.
Wendy decided not to focus on that, knew she'd say something that would end their conversation abruptly is she did.
"It's more about the person who caused his disappearance, partially I mean," she tugged on the edges of her hair nervously. "Bottom line, he's done with Pan and Storybrooke, I think, but my family in London might be next on his list."
Gold remained quiet as Wendy summed up the details from the last few hours, not pressing for any unnecessary details.
"I know it's asking for a lot very quickly, but …" Wendy allowed herself to trail off, not having the strength or the mentality to press on. He knew what she needed, he didn't need the sob story.
"It's quite the request indeed," he commented. Wendy could heard the wickedness rise once more in his voice. "But I accept, but I need something from you first."
"I have every intention of paying you back."
"Not's hardly a concern of mine, Miss Darling," he said. "What I need from you is something a bit more personal."
Wendy gripped the phone tightly. Wendy hadn't thought she'd underestimated him this entire time. She'd seen the darkness in his eyes, saw it in his cold, calculating smile.
She thought briefly of Belle, recalled the gentle way she heard him speak to her at the hospital. Had that been a farce, or had he simply pulled down his mask long enough to appear human. At the time of the young woman's rescue, Wendy wondered if perhaps Gold would recall Wendy's part in saving her and call them even.
"What is it?" she asked, accepting her fate.
He was quite for a moment, but the words he spoke next chilled her.
"I need you to tell me how much you need my help,"
Wendy blinked, generally unsure just what he meant.
"Pardon?"
His cold chuckle followed.
"I know how to recognize a desperate soul, and you are by far the most desperate one I've met to date."
Wendy shook her head, unable to fully comprehend what he was asking of her.
"What…I…I…"
"And I want you ask yourself why that is," he continued.
Those final words hit her like a bucket of ice. Every faux decision she'd made in the last few weeks.
She hadn't meant to hurt anyone. Hadn't ever wanted to. It just happened, and she inadvertently isolated herself from anyone who cared for her.
She looked at Pan's unconscious form once more. It was easy to blame him. He'd twisted every decent thing she'd tried to accomplish. He burned everything he touched.
But she'd made her own choices. She chose to allow him in her life and kept him too close. He'd gotten hurt in the process.
In a way, he would have been better off if she had cut him out.
"This is my price, Miss Darling," he said. "You may take it, or we can part, and we'll speak nothing more of this conversation.
"Fine. I need your help. I…I really need your help."
"Because?"
A hot tear ran down her cheek. It felt like the barest of defeat.
"I'm…"
All.
Alone.
"I'm desperate."
She heard the lightest hum as his response. It was almost a gluttonal sound. She wasn't sure how she would have reacted if she'd heard him laugh.
"Very good, Miss Darling," he said at last. Wendy managed to keep her chin from wobbling.
"Now, I need you to follow my next instructions very carefully. Are you able to leave the hospital?"
Wendy straightened up. Her family. She had to leave.
"I can try, but there's nurses everywhere. I think Sheriff Graham has me on some kind of unspoken lockdown."
Gold hummed once more, this one more calculating than gratified.
"I'll handle him. Now Miss Darling, I want you to dress and gather what you have with you and be ready to leave. When I hang up, I need you to wait exactly 15 minutes. Exactly that, do you understand?"
"Yes." Wendy replied half-heartedly.
"Good. When you're 15 minutes start, you'll make your way down the hospital stairs. Under no circumstances are you to go near the elevators."
"Cameras." Wendy concluded.
"Very good," he praised, though the comment had the weight of an insult.
"Then, when you come out on the first floor, you're going to take a left until you get to the west wing, the one adjacent to the children's ward, do you recall?"
Wendy felt her entire body tense.
The darkness. The smell of mold. Belle's wile, blue eyes.
That horrid man's hands around her neck.
"No." she said definitively. "I can't go through there. I won't."
"Yes you will." Gold said firmly.
"There's another way, there has to be," Wendy pled. How was it that she'd been in this hospital so many damn times but hadn't learned the exit routes?
"Just maybe there is, but do you really want to waste time exploring those options?"
Wendy seethed. "You're doing this on purpose. You're sick!"
She was greeted with a humorless chuckle. "I'm many things, Miss Darling, but right now I'm the one person in the world who could help you."
That's not so, Wendy wanted to say, but she dared not bring Felix or Tink or even August into this. This man seemed to gain power over anyone who gave him their name.
"Then what?" She croaked.
Why are you doing this? I helped you.
"You'll vacate the ward and you'll continue along the wall of the west wing until you come across an overgrown parking lot about a quarter of mile past the hospital. There's an overgrown courtyard you must go through. A man by the name of Mr. Dove will be there waiting for you with a car. You'll go with him and he'll escort you to Boston. By the time you reach there, a one-way ticket should be awaiting you."
The term 'one-way' perked Wendy's attention. Did he think she made no plans to return? Did she at this point?
"Is all that agreeable?"
Wendy hesitated. What was waiting for her if she returned? Scorned friends who were better off without her? An unstable job she was more than certain she was fired from at this point? A jail sentence?
She glanced at Pan, unconscious and oddly peaceful-looking.
"Yes," Wendy answered. "I'll meet him there."
"Very good," Gold said. "Fifteen minutes, Miss Darling."
"Yes." Wendy agreed, ready to hang up.
"Oh, and Miss Darling?"
Wendy flinched, begrudgingly lifting the phone to her ear.
"Yes?"
"Such a pleasure hearing from you again."
He hung up before she could respond, leaving her in blessedly silent quiet.
She sat there for a moment more, trying to decide exactly what consequences she'd see for making a deal with a shark like Mr. Gold. It couldn't be any worse than the rawness in her soul.
She wiped her face. She couldn't think about that now, couldn't focus on anything but getting to her family.
Fifteen minutes. Exactly fifteen minutes.
She began to move, gathering what little she had with her and changing, her stomach lurching at every sound. She eyed the door as she finished, hearing the distance taps of nurses shoes go back and forth.
She silenced her phone, ready to leave, but the site of Pan's still form from the corner of her eye caused her to pause.
She lowered her head in a sense of shame, each beep of his heart monitor stabbing at her.
He didn't respond when she stood over him, her hand's hovering above his form, unsure of where to go.
Ten minutes.
Wasn't there evidence that comatose patience could sense the outward world? Hear, smell and even imagine everything around them?
Looking at him, Wendy had to doubt that theory. He was so still. So unlike the every-moving wild boy who brought so much chaos in and out of her life.
Wendy grazed her fingers over his hand where the IV pumped life into his veins.
The nurses said his dehydration had led to a severe kidney infection. He had just narrowly missed full organ failure by a day.
"Pan," she whispered. "I…I'm sorry for everything. For my part in hurting you. For not seeing Jones for what he was."
Of course she received no reply. In a way she was thankful for that. If he was awake, would he talk her out of this? Try to be some sort of voice of reason? Or would he encourage this dangerous and wayward idea?
Five minutes left.
She continued to graze his skin, counting every second until she could move.
Why did Gold give her such a specific time limit?
"You never really told me about him." she said to Pan. "You didn't tell me how dark he really was."
Wendy found the gal to turn her hand and grip his hand.
"What else did he do to you Pan? Why do you hate him so much?"
Pan's hand flinched under hers.
She would have thought the scream that followed next was his if it wasn't for the flashing lights above her head.
Times up.
Wendy stilled as chaos erupted outside, nurses yelling, running back and forth trying to make sense of what was going on.
But she knew. It was time to go.
"I'm sorry," she said hastily to Pan, missing how his fingers curled inward—trying to stop her.
Wendy stuck her head carefully from the room, having to squint through the flashing red light that bathed the upper level of Storybrooke Hospital. The alarm had summoned all the nurses and the security guards to it, giving her a chance to escape unseen.
She took a deep breath and made a beeline for the stairs that would get her on the first floor.
Her ears were ringing and her vision was blurring from the aggressive lights. Coupled with her exhaustion, it was almost enough to make her pass out. She kept losing her grip on the stair railing and had to claw at the wall to keep from barreling down.
She paused when she saw the dingy, dented door that led to the forbidden ward. It was her only exit, the quickest way to get to her family and ensure their safety.
It was ridiculous to be afraid. Sheriff Graham had looked the place up and down. There was no one in there now. It was empty and dead.
But in Wendy's mind, they were still in there.
Suddenly, the alarm stopped, the agonizing red siren paused, bathing the hospital in the sickening white light. It was now or never. She inhaled sharply and ripped open the door, the dank air sucking her in. Trapping her in as she slammed the door behind her.
Wendy squinted into the dark gray hallway, trying to control her breathing, listening intently to every sound the dank ward had to offer.
She had a ride waiting for her, that's what Mr. Gold said. They'd leave, and then she'd truly be lost. She had to move. She had to move.
She kept her palms on the wall, her hands shaking as she crept carefully down the hall.
"There's nothing here," Wendy whispered to herself. "I'm alone here, I just need to get to the exit…I just need to get out."
Her grip on the wall became more frantic as she ventured further, the hallway advancing into a darkness she'd only see in the depths of her dreams.
The space around was beginning to feel more dream-like, as if she were walking through an inky cloud, surrounded by thick air that threatened to evaporate at any moment.
Dropping her to a slow, expected death.
As the pressure changed, so did Wendy's vision. Burst of reds and greens flashed before her, overstimulating her shaken mind. She began to get disoriented, fearful that she'd gotten lost and she would never find the exit. There was no light, nothing to lead her out.
But then, a shift. A flicker of icy wind licked her cheek.
And something swiped at her hair.
Wendy shot forward, the scream stuck in the depths of her throat shooting upwards to her brain.
No no no no no no no no.
She had to leave, whether out a new exit or to her death she didn't care.
She kept running into the darkness, anemic lines of right becoming more prominent, revealing she was closer to freedom.
Or perhaps it was her own mind singing its desperation for escape.
There was no door, no natural means of escape. The hallway only seemed to get longer.
As full-blown panic began to morph into sheer delusion, instinct kicked in. Wendy searched for the source of the scarce light until she found a filthy window. She used her sleeves to wipe it frantically, her fingers outlining the trees she could just see in the distance.
She pushed at it, trying frantically to get it open as her desperation rose.
A long bead of sweat dove down her spine, her arms shaking from the excursion.
"Let me out!" she yelled, slamming her hand on the window until it was caked with a thick layer of dirt and dust.
"Please," she gasped as she began to beat on the glass again. Her only escape. "NOW!"
Wendy's palm burst through the glass, the crisp icy air embodying her freedom. She felt the blood before she felt the sting of the shards breaking into her skin but she continued to push and punch to get out of the forbidden wing.
With a final burst of adrenaline, she grabbed the edges of the window and pulled herself through the narrow space, the surrounding shrubbery scratching at her skin.
Her hips were just barely able to get through, and Wendy was certain she could feel something pulling at her ankles, trying to pull her back into the dark.
She clawed at the out wall for extra leverage, giving her just what she need to squeeze out of the window and hit the hard ground.
Wendy crawled as quickly as she could from the building, flipping onto her back to defend herself against the thing that had been lurking in the ward.
But she was met with nothing but darkness and blissful quiet. Whatever phantom that had plagued her has simply vanished.
Wendy took in a shaky breath, piecing her thoughts together bit by bit.
She had escaped the hospital, though the commotion she just made would no doubt garner unwanted attention. She had to keep moving. She had to get to her family.
She sighed and began to stand, shrieking when a piercing pain erupted though her right hand, arm and hip. She looked down in horror and saw flakes of glass sticking out of her limbs, the testament to her escape. She couldn't even flex her fingers. Each time the glass would stab at her damaged hands.
Wendy's frustration finally boiled over and she let out a great scream, one worthy of a cryptid.
"FUCK!" she yelled as loud as she could, a sharp sob breaking through her throat. For several moments she couldn't stop sobbing, couldn't be brave anymore.
The last few months had been pure Hell and she had taken all the hits, numbed herself to the consequences in an attempt to move forward. But it wasn't just her psyche that took a dive this time. It was her heart and her spirit. Killian Jones had shown her the first bout of affection she's truly felt in weeks, made her feel more human that the soulless heap she'd felt like. Pan had long damaged her spirit, but she'd nearly lost her heart completely when she saw him in that hospital room. On death's door because of her.
Now her family—her parents and dear brothers—could be in the same state because she didn't have the gall to pull the trigger on Jones. What if he was there already? Could she do it this time?
She'd never find out if she stayed here sobbing in the dirt, she decided. She wiped her eyes, taking in several calming breaths. Yeah, she'd made some misguided decisions lately, but she had the chance to at least amend one. She'd made a deal with the devil to get to London and she had to go through with it, even if she had to face Graham's wrath when she returned.
She stood with a grimace, hissing as blood ran down her arms and legs, and began limping towards the aforementioned courtyard that modeled yet another maze of horrors. But, with the thought that she was yet another step closer to getting to her family before Jones did, she limped bravely into the weave of dead vines and branches.
She began to look back at the space she just left – wanted to catch a glimpse of the monsters who forced her through that beacon of hell—but decided against it as tears began to well into her eyes.
She'd had enough of that place.
The moon acted as Wendy's only guide and only light source save a few illegally dimmed streetlights. She pulled and fought of dead thorns as she moved closer to what she could make out as a black sea.
Wendy stumbled through the rest of the shrubbery. A glance behind her proved she's put in a good half mile from the hospital—which had otherwise been silent following her escape.
Knowing her time was still extremely limited, she search around quickly to spot an older-fashioned car and a notably tall man standing at its rear.
Wendy approached the two cautiously, both throbbing limbs and paranoid suspicion bubbling through her. This could easily be a trap from Gold—a diabolical and brutally cruel scenario to tease her exhausted mind. It would surely incriminate her to a tee. She'd be sitting in Sheriff Graham's jail for the rest of her life.
But she had everything to lose, so she paused at the car, several feet from the large man.
Wendy cleared her dry throat—vaguely tasting dust—and coughed out a greeting to the man. He turned around effortlessly, his eyes evaluating her with a calm and potently disinterested scowl.
"Mr…bird?" Wendy coughed.
"Dove, actually," the man returned with a curt nod, his tone more softer than his appearance had previewed. "Miss Darling, I presume."
Wendy felt a twinge of relief, nodding.
Mr. Dove nodded and stepped around the car—oddly seeming smaller not that he was closer to Wendy. He opened the back passenger door and waved Wendy to it.
"We haven't much time, so I'm afraid we'll have to go straight to the Boston Airport,"
Wendy tensed. "We can't stop by my apartment quickly? I'm sorry, but I have to grab my cellphone charger, not to mention my passport—"
Mr. Dove moved slightly, holding out a shoulder bag thick with items.
"Mr. Gold had me gather the proper documentation. I'm afraid you'll have to figure out your toiletries in your own time."
Wendy's face paled, an unfortunate image of this perfect stranger filtering through her intimate belongings but accepted the bag quickly.
"I guess this is it," Wendy sighed, feeling a strange emptiness weigh her.
"Yes," Dove answered. "If you'll please—"
The irritating sound of a revved engine spearing towards them caused Wendy and Mr. Dove both to pause. Both shot towards the reverberating sound as a pair of headlights beamed closer to them.
Wendy sucked in a breath. If it was Graham, she was done for!
Mr. Dove tensed beside him and Wendy gasped when his hand drew into his oversized coat for what must have been a weapon.
The car – a pea-green Voltzwagon Bug – came to a screeching halt in front of them, its owner stepping out with a growl.
"Tink!" Wendy gasped.
"Miss Le Bell?"
Tink burst out of her pea-green bug, the door slamming so hard behind her Wendy feared the sound echoed into the hospital.
The blond woman glared back before her Wendy and the excessively tall man who seemed to know her.
She stopped in front of them, hands on her hips, and they both seemed to shrink under her sharp gaze.
"I knew it," Tink said, the words like acid. "I felt it in my bones. Something is wrong and you're working with…"
"It's not what you think!" Wendy jumped in.
Tink gave her an incredulous look and turned her ire back towards the excessively tall man before them.
"Mr. Dove," Tink said as a form of greeting. "Please?"
"I'm sorry, Miss Le Bell," Dove spoke evenly. "This is between Miss Darling and Mr. Gold."
"Well now it's between her and me," Tink said, stepping around to the passenger side of her car. She opened her door, begging Wendy's cooperation with her eyes.
"Wendy, please get in."
"I can't," Wendy said, though she was itching to get into Tink's warm and familiar BMW than Gold's cold and ominous Cadillac.
"Wendy, whatever's going on, whatever you did or what you're running from, associating with Mr. Gold is not the way to fix your problem," Tink said.
"I don't have a choice," Wendy said simply. "I don't have time to explain, and I know I have no right asking you for anything…" she swallowed guiltily. "Please Tink, don't say anything and don't try to stop me."
Tink shook her head. "Wendy, let me help you. Gold is the last person you can trust. The second you accept something from him, your deal never ends. Whatever's happened to you, it's not worth chaining yourself to him."
"It is if it keeps my friends and family safe," Wendy countered before frowning. "Family, I mean."
Tink sighed. "Wendy, what happened between me and Mother Superior, that had nothing to do with you."
"Of course it is!" Wendy said.
"No," Tink said as she shook her head. She bowed it next as the next thought came to her. "It's kind of like Pan said, she had it coming. I hate her lies were exposed the way they were, but in the end, I'm glad it's all over with. Yes, I'm angry, but I'm ready to move on, and I am so sorry you got hurt and mixed up with this."
Wendy struggled not to cave. Tink wouldn't dare try to use mental manipulation with her, but this still stalled her even if her words seemed sincere.
"I…" Wendy gulped, too many thoughts swarming her senses.
"I…I can't do this now," Wendy cried. "I have to go."
"Where are you going? What's going on Wendy, let me help you!"
"I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me! Please Tink, let me handle this."
"Not like this," Tink said firmly, turning her sharp gaze to Dove. "Where are you taking her? I'll take her there."
"Tink, no—" Wendy begged.
"Don't be like Pan, Wendy," Tink yelled. Wendy stiffened. "Don't push everyone away when things become too much! You have people who care about you! Let them help you. Whatever's happened, don't go at it alone."
Wendy stared at her former friend. How could one person be so sure when everything was falling around them? Was Tink right? Was she doing what Pan would do and push people away? He did do that, but there were moments when she could feel that all he wanted was to reach out. However, he disguised this need with cruelty, either due to a lack of compassion or a fear of intimacy she had yet to discover..
And now Wendy was doing the same thing.
You're just as filthy and selfish as he is.
Even though she wanted to protect Tink, she also didn't want to leave Storybrooke with a complete stranger.
Wendy turned to Dove, who was still watching their interaction quietly.
"I'd like to go with her, please,"
Dove nodded. "I can't stop you, but I will have to alert Mr. Gold of this change."
"You may do so," Wendy said, slinging the bag with her passport protectively over her shoulder.
Dove looked down at his watch. "I'd suggest you move quickly then. You're flight for London leave at 4 a.m."
Tink stiffened. "London?"
Wendy looked at her helplessly and Tink didn't press the subject further.
"Boston Airport it is."
Wendy nodded and got into Tink's warm car, putting on her seatbelt as Tink typed the directions in her phone.
Wendy looked at Dove through the rearview mirror as they drove off. He was a still as a statute, and she truly hoped he was more friend than foe. Still, she wondered what the repercussions of her decision would be with Gold. But she couldn't think of that right now. She couldn't think of anything but getting to London.
"Check the glove compartment," Tink said suddenly.
"What?"
Tink took her eyes off the road for a moment to nod at Wendy's hands and legs.
"You're bleeding. I think I have some antiseptic and gauze in my first aid kit. It's in the glove compartment."
"Oh!" Wendy said, the pain creeping back into her limbs. Her hands were blood and dirty as were her jeans. A thick, dry gash stained her entire thigh. Wendy viciously rubbed at the area with Tink's provided wet wipes, biting her lip to keep from hissing at the pain. No doubt she'd need to clean it properly when she reached London. She parents may insist she see a doctor.
Tink remained quiet as they drove but Wendy could sense her tension. Her hands gripped the steering wheel firmly, a hint of white spreading across her knuckles.
"I can't tell you much right now," Wendy said, looking out the window so she wouldn't meet Tink's eyes.
"I figured," she returned. "But…I'm willing to listen. You know that, right?"
Wendy did. And she was more than grateful. But she didn't want her to taint her with her sins. Tink deserved so much better than that.
Thankfully, Tink didn't breach the subject any further and they soon arrived at the airport with ample time to spare.
"Do you want me to walk in with you?" Tink inquired.
"I'm fine, thank you," Wendy said as she opened the door.
"Hold on," Tink said, undoing her seatbelt and turning to search through her back seat. Wendy was surprised when she pulled out one of Wendy's tote back, her cellphone charger poised at the overflowing bag's contents.
"I…"
"Told you I'd bring you some things," Tink finished, giving her a half smile. "I got you Wendy, no matter what."
Wendy hugged the bag closely to her, the familiar scent of her clothing causing tears to well in her eyes. And try as Wendy did, she couldn't stop them from flowing. She was sobbing before she could stop herself, harder than she had even at the hospital.
Tink allowed her a few moments to get started before she leaned in and wrapped her arms around her, allowing her to sob into her shoulder.
"It's okay," Tink said.
As she continued to release her anguish, Wendy thought perhaps she was right. She survived so much so far and Tink's compassion inspired her that she would survive this whole horror story.
She calmed finally, though Tink's comfort did not cease.
It was this comfort that allowed Wendy to believe—truly, truly believe—
She was not alone.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Felix never really knew what to make of August. He knew of his doomed relationship with Pan, knew it was just a bit more serious than some of his other trysts, but ultimately didn't survive Pan's chaotic mood and lifestyle.
Frankly, he wasn't fond of August. He hated how he'd hurt his father over and over again. Hated how casually he lived with the things he did.
But, he decided as they walked to Pan and Wendy's shared room, he had to have some decency if he went through all they had the last few days for Pan's sake. Pity his fondness was one-sided.
They entered the room the nurse below gave them, squinting in the black to see two empty and unmade beds.
"Maybe we're in the wrong room?"
Felix knew good and well they weren't. August knew it as well, but admitting to the sight before them would lead to a whole new wave of trouble.
Pan's bed was empty, his IVs thrown carelessly to the floor.
His window—fully opened—had let in a strangely warm and terrifying breeze in his absence.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Geez, I finally got Pan off that ship … but where is he now?
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kosi-annec · 10 months
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[HAIKYUU!!] Season 1 episode 24
YEAH now karasuno just needs 2 more points, Y'ALL GOT THIS!!
Lmao kinda feel bad for the guy that's yelling, his voice sounds like its dying
AAAA come on hinata! Just gotta get passed one guy!!!
OH SHIT NICE ONE HINATA! CHANGED IT AT THE LAST SECOND LETS GO!!! Oh oof- that gotta hurt, boi how tf u not in pain
JUST ONE MORE POINT- OH FUCK, COME ON KARASUNO
COME ON NOYA RECEIVE THAT BALL YA GOT THIS
Wha- OMG IT WAS OUT HOLY SHIT NOYA HOW COULD YOU TELL?? damn i have new found respect for shorty. Oh boy bet oikawa having an internal breakdown from that
Woah how long have they been keeping this up?? 31-31?! BRUH HOW CAN ANY OF THEN STILL PLAY????
... aight adding a new ship to my list
These flashbacks telling me he's gonna make it this time- AH DAICHI SAVED IT
OHHH HE'S THE LEAST EXHAUSTED CUZ HE DOESN'T OVER DO IT, it's not that he doesn't take it as seriously, he just knows to conserve his energy
Uh oh, tangerine snap him out of it. Pft- lol ah yes nothing better to distract him than your rivalry lmao
Awww the team parents comforting and motivating him
AAAA DAICHI SAVED IT, COME ON!!! KARASUNO GO GO! KEEP THE BALL UP!!
DAMN IT NO FUCK
... they lost, what. I am flabbergasted, shocked. I actually thought they would win
Fuck I can't imagine how bad kageyama and hinata are feeling right now...
Oikawa how is that annoying?? Or is this your weird way of saying you're proud, I can't tell with you
Omg he apologized, to hinata, he really is out of it. Uhhh hinata why are you barefoot right now???
Ah yes, another important lesson from the show's theme: when you get knocked down, get back up. Losing isn't entirely a bad thing, its a learning experience, so that next time you'll know what to improve on to achieve your goal. If you give up while you're down, that's when you've really lost
Fod always makes everything feel better. Bruh tsuki, I'm starting to think you're emotionally constipated, honestly how have you and yama stayed friends for this long hskhsks
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My Ears and My Head
I forgot my earplugs today. I will never do that again. Loud startling noises that aren't musical or choreographed are painful to me. The sudden ear blasting buzzers, sneakers squeaking, whistles blowing, loud seemingly angry people (at times), who sat next to me yelling at the referees, all while sitting on the bleachers at my daughter's basketball game, was all very overstimulating. To say the least.
Describing the feelings and sensations from my perspective would be very rudimentary at best. I am new to sharing this sort of information. I hope that by the end, it will at least have been a therapeutic writing exercise for me.
I use my earplugs in Wal-Mart sometimes, or when I am waiting in a doctors office, or when I am waiting in line at the DMV. I can hear 5 conversations at once, and there isn't yet a word I can come up with that describes the sensation in my head and ears when I am hearing all of these things at once. It is unpleasant and it causes me to feel like I am being squeezed. It starts at my temples, it moves to my throat, and then to my chest. I begin to sweat and then it feels like I am smothering. Breathing becomes more difficult, and I begin to lose focus on my surroundings. I then hyper-focus on whatever task I am performing. If I am only a spectator, it becomes more difficult.
If I am shopping, often, I will say "fuck it", and hurry to check out, leave the line or just "bail" knowing I will have to come back at another time. That is a crushing defeat, but a short term save of my sanity. More often than I would like to admit, I have finally made it to a check out line without the main reason I was at the store. I will make it to my car in mental exhaustion only to realize I still need several items that were on my list.
Today I was in a crowded gymnasium, I sat in an unoccupied area of the gym on purpose. I chose my spot based on absence of people. Within 5 minutes, several people sat almost right next to me. I noticed immediately that there was still a lot of room in so many other places. Why did they sit right here? Of course they were going to be the loud ones screaming at the referee for the next hour. Their kid and my kid were on the same team. I should have been happy to have "advocates" for our girls out there. If the referee were to get some calls wrong, God knows I wouldn't notice, and apparently a few were missed or bad. I get it, sort of.
Every time someone next to me screamed at the referee or for whatever reason, it was like a gun blast next to my ear. I was trying to focus on my daughter as she was playing while also watching the buzzer to make sure I could cover my ears before it went off; because my dumb ass forgot my ear plugs.
The only way I can describe the sensation that I feel when a loud startle noise hits me when I am unprepared, is an entire body jump, involuntary muscle flex stress reaction. It isn't pleasant. It is like a muscle cramp that lets off after 20 seconds or so. It starts at the ears, but immediately the shoulders jump, the neck tenses, my legs jump and sometimes, even my asshole clenches.
Imagine if someone walked up behind you and blew an air horn next to your head while you were trying to solve a math problem. Even if you knew ahead of time they were going to do it, but you didn't know when. It would be very distracting and hard to focus on the task at hand. My task was watching my daughter's high school basketball game. It sounds incredibly simple, doesn't it? If I were a normal human, yes. This would be incredibly simple. Therein lies the inner personal frustration.
I left the gym twice to go outside and get cool air on my face because it became so crowded and hot. Once I entered the ladies room and tried to put my sweaty hair up in a hair tie. It looked terrible, which added to my stress. When I got back to the bleachers, I could feel the people around me. The closer each person got to me, it felt like I was being gradually smothered. My breathing felt more constricted as more people poured in.
The gym felt hotter and the air felt stagnant. As the temperature rose, so did the noise and the tempers in the room. It was a close game, which didn't detract from the noise and heat at all. This is the most crowded the gym had been since I had been watching these games.
The girls on the team played their hearts out. I watched several wipe outs that actually made me flinch and wonder if the girl needed help. They played great and my daughter was amazing (unbiased of course). Our girls team won a close game. The parts I was able to witness and focus on, were really good. The rest of it seemed like being in a noisy fishbowl with 20 frogs, 50 cicadas, and 200 crickets. I left immediately after I held my ears for the final buzzer.
I didn't even tell my daughter goodbye when I left, but she knew I was there. I had to get out of there. It felt almost as if my life depended on it. I got to my car and navigated through way too many cars and people walking for a high school basketball game. I turned on my loud music, it may sound paradoxical, but it helps me. I turned on my air conditioning, and I finally began to decompress. Within about 5-10 minutes I felt almost normal again.
This kind of thing is frustrating to me and even more difficult to explain to regular people. Whatever that even means. This is a window into my mind for future people who might need to dissect it.
I gleaned a joking entrepreneurial suggestion from this experience. If I ever owned a stadium or gymnasium, I would keep it as cold as I would need to so that a person might see their own breath on a regular basis. It would be like an ice skating arena without the actual solid floor ice. I would put a disclaimer on the door regarding the temperature. I would keep the temperature as low as I could without deaths or lawsuits. I would tell people to come as they are, but also in extra layers, if they were easily chilled.
People who get cold easily don't typically act out, in my experience. It was usually the hot-heads who ruin hings for everyone.
Stay chilled
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bellesowl · 3 years
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kiss and make up
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- multiple characters 
⤷ atsumu, sakusa
genre: (an attempt at) angst to fluff ; established relationship, timeskip 
synopsis: in which you have an almost relationship-ending argument
word count: 2.1k total - about 1k each
warnings: fighting (obv), being called a burden, the boys are kinda mean but they make up for it i swear
- a/n: tbh i was kinda getting sick of writing just fluff so i wanted to spice it up a lil! if this sucks i’m probably going to stick to fluff fics but i think it should be fine? this one also only has 2 characs cause idk how i would be at writing angst LMAO if this does well enough i’ll post the one i have written w kuroo and iwa <3 but i feel like this kinda sucks so oh well
- thank u @kybabi for beta-ing <3
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- miya atsumu
you n atsumu have been together since high school which is why you’ve always been inseparable
you went to the same college & moved in together right after, but once he got his job with the jackals, he insisted that you didn’t work and focused on getting your master’s degree
you reluctantly agreed, if only to be able finish & earn your phd soon after
because atsumu is always busy, it’s kinda become commonplace for you to do the chores around the house- like doing the laundry or washing the dishes or cooking dinner for him
but it’s gotten to the point where he expects it
atsumu sighs, unlocking the door to your shared apartment. today’s practice was rough, it was a day of hard conditioning and bad sets and he wanted nothing more than a good meal and to cuddle. the first thing he noticed when he walked in was the mess. instant ramen bowls were scattered everywhere, empty coke cans and dirty napkins were all over the floor, and there you were, in the eye of the hurricane. the second thing he noticed was that there was no homecooked meal.
surprised, he walks into the dining room to see you, furiously typing away at your laptop with four different books surrounding you. you hear his footsteps and look up.
“hey baby! how was practice?” you ask with a smile
atsumu grunts in reply and gestures toward the kitchen, “so.. what’s for dinner babe?”
your eyes widen, “oh shoot! i’m sorry, i was so busy studying for this final that i forgot to cook. do you mind-“ you stop when you see him roll his eyes and head out.
“um, where are you going? you just got home?” you ask, following him.
“out. i have to get food somehow” he replies, “especially because my useless s/o can’t cook a goddamn meal for me” he mutters under his breath
you stop in shock because did he really just say that?
“i’m sorry, i don’t think i heard you right.” you start but he interrupts you
“i said, i have to go get food because someone is too busy to cook a goddamn meal. what do you even do anyways- well, besides spend my money? the least you can do is cook for me, god.” he finally turns to look at you but he feels his heart stop at the look on your face.
not wanting to escalate the situation any further, you try to calm him down, “tsum, hey, i’m sorry i forgot to cook okay? this is my last final before the year ends and i just can’t afford to fail it, so i’ve been studying all day. if you come back to the kitchen, i’ll make you something, okay?”
“i don’t want to eat your half assed attempt at a meal, y/n. the whole point is that you couldn’t get off your ass for an hour to cook when i make the money, i paid for the apartment, hell, i’m even paying for your school! is it really too much to ask for you to stop being such a burden and cook and clean everyday?” he fumed.
you gape at him, shocked that he would even say that. to hell with not escalating things
“at least i want to do something more with my life than hit balls around and retire at 35” you hiss, “and i do everything in this house! i do the laundry, i clean the bathroom, i cook - i do all the things you refuse to. and do i complain? no. i offered to get a job but you refused.”
you turn around to grab your laptop and your textbooks, “just- just do whatever the hell you want to, atsumu.” and with that you walk out the door.
atsumu’s heart drops when he realizes that you actually left. sure, you’ve had arguments here and there, but you’ve never left. he pulls out his phone to call you when he sees you’ve left yours on the counter. knowing there’s nothing to do but wait at this point, he begins to clean up and calls osamu over.
-
it’s already 3 am when you walk back into your apartment, and you blink multiple times when you open the door. it’s ... clean? you’re sure it was a mess when you left, so how would it be clean? you sigh, too tired to think about it more and walk into the kitchen. your eyes widen at the sight. not only is your favorite food on the stove, but there your boyfriend is, asleep on the dining table. you smile slightly, well that explains things.
“ ‘’mu, hey, wake up babe.” you kiss him lightly and shake him.
he grunts and sits up, “baby! i’m so so sorry for what i said. you are in no way, shape, or form a burden, i have no clue why i said that. today’s practice was just really tiring, but i know i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. just please-” he sighs, “just please don’t leave me again.”
your heart breaks your teary eyed boyfriend. “shh, of course baby. i’ll never leave you again okay?” you say, tugging on his arm, “cmon babe, let’s go to bed, okay?”
“mm okay my love.” he replies and practically pulls you into bed. “i love you, okay?”
“i love you too baby.” you reply
“to the moon and back?” he asks
“yeah, and to infinity and beyond.” you reply, your lack of sleep hitting you hard
“oh, i didn’t know i was dating buzz lightyear”
you let out a loud laugh and just like that you both fall into the same routine, love radiating off both of you in waves.
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- sakusa kiyoomi
dating sakusa was,, challenging
it definitely took him a while to get comfortable with you
so you guys have been dating for a couple years now, and at this point he’s def clingy
however there still moments when he reverts to his old self
this just happened to be one of those times
“OUT! AND JUST LIKE THAT, EJP RAIJIN TAKES THE WIN AGAINST THE BLACK JACKALS!”
the stadium is silent before the ejp cheering section erupts in cheers. you stay silent, watching your team below. you watch as sakusa stills, still in disbelief. you make your way down, practically sprinting to your boyfriend.
he sees you on the sideline and makes his way over to you. you put on your biggest smile and attempt to make him feel better.
“you did great, kiyo! you’ll get them next time, yeah?” you beam, knowing how hard he’s been training to beat his cousin
he eyes you warily, not knowing what to say.
usually, sakusa gets pretty clingy after games, so you you move to give him a hug.
“don’t touch me” he barked, jerking away from you. “if you hadn’t been distracting me, we would’ve won.”
you stare at him, refusing to let the tears flow. you both turn when you hear a certain setter yelling at the opposing middle and you sigh.
“um, okay then. i’ll see you at home, yeah?” you ask
sakusa merely nods and makes his way over to his teammates. you look around to see if anyone saw what just happened and you lock eyes with your boyfriend’s cousin, who walks over.
“congrats on the win komori! you guys did so well!” you cheered
“thanks, y/n! and i’m sorry about kiyoomi. i’m sure you know he gets that way sometimes.” he explains
you smile and shake your head, saying that you’re used to it and you both bid your farewells. as you walk out of the stadium, you think back to how your boyfriend, the one person you loved with everything you had in you, utterly embarrassed you in front of his whole team. before you know it, silent tears start streaming down your face. 
you enter your home and immediately rush to the bathroom. you draw yourself a bath and make some dinner while waiting. you assume that kiyoomi wouldn’t be home to have dinner with you anyways- and now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had dinner together. after you finish your bath and eat your dinner, you decide to wait up for boyfriend and watch a couple episodes of your favorite show to pass the time. 
-
kiyoomi walks into his apartment at around 1 am, completely and utterly exhausted. he kicks his shoes off and drops his bag on the floor. The rustling rouses you from sleep and you sit up.
“hey kiyo” you say with a yawn, “where’ve you been all night?” 
sakusa ignores you in favor of getting ready for bed and you frown when he brushes past you. 
“kiyo, babe, what’s wrong? you’ve been ignoring me all night and i-” you start but he interrupts you before you can finish. 
“god, just shut up, y/n. can’t you tell i don’t want to talk to you right now? i’ve already had the worst day, i don’t need you making it any worse.” he snaps
"kiyoomi, look, i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t take it out on me.” you reason, reaching out towards him, “listen, i’m here if you wanna-” 
“i said, do not touch me.” he seethes. “you are so fucking clingy y/n, lord, let me breathe a little.”
with those words, you explode. “you know what, sakusa,” he flinches when he hears his last name come out of your mouth, “i think i have the right to want to spend some time with my boyfriend! i haven’t seen you in god knows how long- you leave before i wake up and i fall asleep in an empty bed. i’ve been working my ass off to get some time off to watch your stupid volleyball game and what do you do? you embarrass me in front of your whole team!”
you sigh, wiping away the tears that continue that continue to fall. “listen, i don’t want to fight right now. i’m going to go stay at a friend’s house for the night, alright? i’ll see you tomorrow” you say, grabbing your purse. “if you’re even home tomorrow,” you add under your breath.
sakusa is in shock. the moment he saw your tears start to spill, he felt an undeniable and unrelenting ache in his chest that only seemed to grow with every work that came out of your mouth. and when the door shut? sakusa fell on his knees, his heart dropping. he truly couldn’t believe he said that to you. now all he had to do was wait till you got home.
-
2:38 pm - you check the time on your phone before pulling out your keys. you hope you made the right move, choosing to come back home while kiyoomi was still at practice. you open the door and the sight causes your eyes to widen.
there, on the couch with your favorite flowers in hand, is your boyfriend. he hears the door open and stands up abruptly.
“y/n, my love, i am so sorry. i truly cannot express how horrible i feel, and i cannot begin to understand how you feel.” he takes a deep breath, seemingly holding back tears. “i- i do love you. i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. i know i’m not the best at expressing it, but you mean the world to me- no, you are my world. without you, i don’t know what i would do. so please-” his voice cracks, “just, please give me another chance?”
you run towards your boyfriend, practically tackling him. “kiyo, baby, of course. i love you too, you know? you just can’t do that anymore, yeah? you shouldn’t feel like you have the right to embarrass me just because you had a bad day. and please, don’t call me clingy? i know i do stick to you like glue sometimes, but that’s just because i never see you anymore.” you reply.
“that will all change, darling.” he answers sincerely, “i’ll make more time for you, i swear. in fact, i’ll take the week off, how does that sound?” at the sight of your smile, he relaxes.
“that sounds wonderful, yoomi.” you answer
sakusa feels the weight that’s been dragging him down lift and he realizes the effect you have on him- you’re his breath of fresh air. he also realizes how utterly idiotic it was to push away the one person who could make him feel better.
it’s fine, he reasons, he’ll just never make that mistake again. he swears it.
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im-in-vin-ci-ble · 3 years
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Hello~ Can I request a Mark x fem reader who’s a lot like starfire and is very Powerful close to omni man and is also an alien princess but she lives on earth and they go to the same school and she’s also a solo hero who one day sees invincible fighting off a tough villain with the teenteam but is losing so she steps in to help and he recognizes her and starts getting all nervous since he has a crush on her and then after that they introduce themselves get to know each other and eventually work they’re way up to mark confessing and she says yes :3
(If possible can it be a slow burn im a sucker for slow burn tropes and stuff 😤)
A/N: I gotchu, this bout to be a lil long 😮‍💨 making the fem!reader a little more human, figured since she’s in an actual school for humans she’d need to adapt to the humor/culture so she doesn’t get suspicious
Pairing: Mark Grayson x Fem!Reader
Rating: M, some swearing and gross monster guts
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Mark is finally joined in battle by an alien princess who has caught his attention. Turns out she goes to the same high school, and if he can throw around 150-pound monsters across the street, surely he can confess his true feelings to a girl... right?
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" Rex Splode yelled as he wobbled up off the ground. "We've been on this thing for hours and it only has one damn cut!"
"Calm down Rex," Atom Eve said from behind, "You're gonna get even more tired from yelling."
The two watched as Dupli-Kate attempted to distract the scaly kaiju, replicating herself second after second to give space for Invincible to hit the monster by surprise. The kaiju's screech echoed throughout the city and shook the foundations of the surrounding buildings, forcing Rex, Atom Eve and Robot to move aside and save however many civilians they could.
"Invincible," Dupli-Kate shouted, "I can't keep up much longer!"
A sonic boom overcame the surrounding noise and Invincible appeared from the clouds. Dropping in at maximum speed, the young superhero balled his hand into a fist and took a deep breath. A loud battle cry escaped his mouth but it was cut short as the kaiju's heavy arm slapped him away just in time, throwing him through destroyed buildings until he landed on the pavement.
Out of breath, dizzy, and in a serious amount of pain, Invincible laid on the broken road for a second to regain his strength. The wind softly blew down on him as he focused his sight on a contrail leading towards him, and he watched as a girl in purple land right next to him.
She bent down and held him upright, "Invincible, are you okay?"
"Mmhmm," Invincible croaked with a defeated smile, "Totally fine."
His sight reverted back to normal and the first face he saw shocked him alive. It was her. They never talked in school and he was almost sure she didn't know his real name, but here she was, basically cradling him in her arms and calling him Invincible.
So she knows who I am. At least with the suit.
"Come on, that kaiju is about to be destroy the entire city," she said, helping him get back on his feet and flying away to the seemingly unbeatable figure.
He huffed, "Stay cool, Mark. She's here to help," and he followed suit.
This marked the first time he really interacted with the new superhero; he'd only ever see her on TV or read about how she saved people on the newspaper. He'd be lying if he said he didn't find her attractive — as do most guys his age — but watching her blast the kaiju with the green bursts of energy from her hands made her only even more appealing.
Invincible regrouped with the rest of the Teen Team. "I don't know what else we can do to this thing," Atom Eve admitted.
"I do," the girl spoke up. "Distract it as best as you can but stay far away from the stomach. When I tell you to take cover, make a run for it."
Robot replied, "That seems highly dangerous."
"Let's do it," Invincible quickly replied in a high-pitched voice.
Everyone looked over at him, surprised at the sudden change in his voice and just how fast he reacted in agreement. 
"Uh, it's a good plan," he nodded, causing the girl to shoot a warm smile his way. "I definitely think we should do it... if all of you... uh, think, we should."
Exhausted and out of options, the rest of the group followed her orders and took different corners of the monster. Dupli-Kate handled one leg, Rex Splode handled the other, Robot and Atom Eve took the arms, and Invincible went back to the head. The kaiju struggled to keep its focus on just one of the heroes, and while it remained preoccupied, the girl absorbed all the energy she could muster and flew straight for the stomach.
"Take cover, now!"
Invincible and the Teen Team moved away and they watched as the flying hero's eyes opened in a bright shade of neon green, both her arms extended out as a large ball of green formed around her hands. The rays exploded right through the kaiju and it shrieked in pain as she briefly disappeared into the stomach. The kaiju lost balance and slowly fell forward as the girl, her eyes still green, appeared on the other side and harshly fell down on the ground.
The kaiju landed on the street with a loud boom and the group ran towards the girl who was now covered in parts of the kaiju's digestive system.
"Okay, that's kinda gross," Rex Splode commented, to which Dupli-Kate quickly responded, "Shut up."
Invincible dropped down on his knees and wiped the blood and guts off her face. Subtly admiring her facial features up close, he couldn't believe (and almost felt stupid) that he never recognized her despite the fact that he almost saw her everyday.
The girl groaned in agony softly shook her head, her eyes fluttering open to the sight of Invincible's dark hair, goggles and yellow mask.
"Hey, hey," he whispered, "Are you alright?"
She sat up and hissed at her injuries, holding her head with her bloody hand. "Mmhmm," she gently nodded with a half smile, her eye one still shut. "Totally fine."
---
Mark had a hard time focusing on school. His body ached from yesterday's injuries and he suffered a few bruises from literally tearing through buildings. He made his way to his locker and rested his head on the metal door, dreading the fact that he still has an entire afternoon of classes to go. Closing his eyes in hopes to quickly recharge, his moment of peace was disrupted when a shoulder rammed into his chest and several books landed right on his toe.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry," a voice exclaimed.
Mark's head snapped up at the sound of the voice. It's her. He momentarily froze and watched the girl bend down to pick up her things, and when he finally regained movement a split second later, he also bent down to help her out. He kept quiet as he tried to think of the coolest possible response to make her think that he was actually the coolest guy in school, but all he could think of was how heavenly and badass she looked yesterday.
"Thanks," she said as he handed her the book. "I hope your foot doesn't bruise."
They both stood up and he shot her a nervous smile. "T-totally fine," he replied, clearing his throat afterwards.
She crossed her brows at his response and nodded, and a look of suspicion replaced her worried demeanor.
"I'm Mark, by the way," he cleared his throat again and reached out his hand, "Grayson."
"Mark... Grayson, huh?" she responded, scanning his face as her suspicion grew. Her eyes finally landed on the hand that was waiting, and she took one last look into his eyes before deciding to shake it. "I'm Y/N," she introduced herself with a skeptical smile, feeling his sweaty palm wrapped around hers. "I'll see you around, Mark Grayson."
She walked away and Mark's eyes followed her trail as far as he could see. He quickly pulled out his phone to send a text to Eve, who was actually watching their interaction a few classrooms down.
"Mark," Eve called out as she moved towards him. “So I’m assuming...”
"You knew?” he asked her in disbelief. “Why didn't you tell me Y/N was a superhero? I just introduced myself to her as Mark Grayson and I'm almost positive she knows I'm Invincible."
"First off, it's not my secret tell," she answered with a shrug. "Second, you guys didn’t trade secrets or whatever?”
Mark shook his head in a panic, "No, but I'm guessing she also knows that I know her secret the same way I know she knows my secret." He rested his forehead on the locker door once again and groaned, "Ugh, I'm so into her, it isn't even funny. And this whole superhero thing just made it even more awkward."
Eve laughed, "Look, I'm not going to force her to tell you if she isn't up for it, but if you want, I can ask her to hang out with us later. Maybe — emphasis on maybe — my presence will make her comfortable enough to admit who she is."
"Okay, okay," he sighed, turning around to rest the back of his head. "My insides are dying."
"After the kaiju yesterday, be thankful you don't mean that in a literal sense."
---
Where in the hell is Eve?
Mark pulled out his phone for the third time in 10 minutes. Still no call or response from Eve to his text. He was getting evidently nervous; his palms were sweaty again and it felt like someone turned up the heat in Burger Mart. His left leg jerked up and down in anxiety as he stared at his phone, looking at the seconds on the clock icon tick by. If he were left alone with Y/N, he'd have no idea what to say. What does she like? Should I bring up the kaiju yesterday and praise Invincible? No, she'll just think I'm full of myself.
"Hey Mark."
He jolted and saw Y/N standing by the corner of the booth. "Hi!" he replied in that irritatingly high-pitched voice. Mark's heart began to race and the thoughts in his head ran wild. "Um... Have a seat. Sorry Eve isn't here yet, she actually hasn't answered my calls or my messages. Teenage girls, huh? What can you do?"
She crossed her brows again and chuckled, "That's fine, we can wait for Eve. But I think I'm more concerned about you."
"What do you mean?"
Y/N chuckled again, "You seem... nervous.”
He faked an obnoxiously loud laugh, “Me? Nervous?”
She watched him from across the table in silence, waiting for him to regain his composure.
When Mark couldn’t hear Y/N laughing with him, he finally shut up and shook his head. “Yeah, I am nervous, sorry,” he admitted, shutting his eyes tight. 
She giggled, “Totally fine.”
Hearing her say those two words calmed his racing heartbeat. A smile crept on his face and she reciprocated, their eyes locking for a few seconds before both their phones buzzed.
“Oh, I just got a text from Eve,” Mark said. 
“Me too.” She opened the message and began to read it out loud, “Sorry, can’t make it tonight. Something came up.”
“Have fun, you two,” he followed, his voice faltering. He placed his phone, screen down this time, back on the table and sighed, “Sorry, guess you’re stuck with me. That is, if you do want to stay and... hang out, and stuff.”
"Why wouldn’t I?” she replied, her warm smile easing Mark back into a relaxed state. “It’s nice to have a friend who...” she trailed off, “understands.”
“Understands what?” he asked.
“This thing people like us call life,” she answered. “You know, it took me a long time to acclimate here. I didn’t think I ever would, then I met friends who made this place feel like home. And home is a feeling I hadn’t felt in a really long time.”
Mark rested his elbows on the table and leaned in closer, “Well, I’m always here. You know, a-as a friend... or an acquaintance, even. I don’t, I don’t want to push it.”
Y/N giggled again, “You’re a funny man, Mark Grayson. This planet is lucky to have someone like you.” She reached out and held his hand, “And I’m even luckier to have you as a friend, or an acquaintance.” 
He felt the heat rush to his face and he could swear his heart nearly jumped out of his chest. The afternoon flew by in a hurry as they engaged in lengthy conversations, fatty fast food, and childhood stories. While Mark was open to sharing every tiny detail — down to the color of the bleachers at the park where he played little league — Y/N kept hers pretty vague, leaving out descriptions of family members and even the places where these stories happened. 
Mark’s phone buzzed again, but the vibrating pattern indicated it was a phone call. He turned the screen over and saw the unknown number; it was time to suit up.
“Shit, I’m sorry Y/N, but I need to go,” he said in a rush. “I have a... uh, an emergency.”
You couldn’t have thought of anything more specific?
“It’s cool. Um, don’t worry about it,” she said, shaking her head with her eyes glued to the vibrating phone. 
Mark’s one leg was already out the booth before he decided to finally just go for it. Sitting back down with his now quiet phone in his hands, he took a deep breath.
“Y/N, I think you’re really cool. Can I maybe, like, call you sometime, or something?”
Her lips formed into smile that extended to her eyes, and it was enough for Mark to melt a little. “Of course. Yeah, sure,” she replied in excitement and typed down her number on his phone. She handed it back, “Now you know how to reach me if you’re getting your ass whooped again.”
His mouth fell open as his shaky hands grabbed his phone. “Wait—”
She smoothly slid out of the booth, “See you later, Invincible,” she winked, “Don’t get killed today.”
---
Luckily for Mark, no one got killed today. Maybe a few wounds here and there, but nothing painful enough that will land him in the GDA hospital. After spending an hour in the shower, he finally managed to lie down on his bed and rest his body. He sank into the mattress and closed his eyes, taking in the seconds of undisturbed peace that have become rare moments since he got his powers. 
As he replayed the events of today’s fights in his head, his mind drifted off to the hours he spent with Y/N. He pulled out his phone and mustered the courage to press the dial button, and the repeating sound of the ringing was making his pulse race. 
“Hello?”
“Oh good, you didn’t die today.”
Mark chuckled and sandwiched his hand between his head and the pillow. “It wasn’t that bad today, just took a few hits,” he explained. “So listen, Y/N, I was wondering, uh—”
She cut him off, “What are you doing right now?”
“What?”
“What are you doing right now?” she repeated.
“Um, nothing, just getting some rest” he sat up and looked around. “Why?”
“If you’re not too tired, do you maybe...”
Mark smiled, “Maybe...?”
“I don’t know, sneak out? My roof is pretty comfortable.”
Silently fist pumping, he fully stood up and nodded, “Text me the address.”
Just as quietly as he exited his room via the window, he softly landed on Y/N’s roof. Swiftly flying up and greeting him, she took the place next to him and crossed her legs. 
“You’re right, your roof is pretty comfortable,” Mark said.
She chuckled at his remark then noticed a gash by his right temple. Her brows furrowed in worry, “You have a wound,” she said, making sure not to touch it.
“Don’t worry about it,” he replied, softly holding her hand and placing it back down with his. “Totally fine.”
Those words brought her some sense of comfort as her eyes softened, causing her to unconsciously squeeze his hand. Mark’s eyes widened and he looked down at their tangled fingers, frozen for a moment.
“Is this... okay with you?” he asked.
She nodded. “Wanna lie down? Since my roof is so comfortable?” she asked with a smirk.
“Sure,” Mark chuckled, removing his hand from her’s and stretching his arm out as they lied down. Y/N rested her head on his shoulder, keeping her eyes up at the stars.
“Hey Mark?”
“Yeah?”
A moment of silence.
“Thank you for coming.”
He looked down at her as she met his eyes, “You’re welcome.” 
The two shared a smile, and Mark took a deep breath as he prepared himself for the words that were about to come out of his mouth.
It’s now or never, Mark. Now or never.
“Watching you kick ass yesterday was... really a sight to see,” he began. “You’re powerful and strong, but more importantly, brave. And you’re so fucking beautiful and kind and smart and...” Mark trailed off, sighing, “I never thought I would be in this position — with you next to me in a very comfortable rooftop under the stars.”
“Mark...”
“And I really like you. Like, really, really like you.”
“Mark.”
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, but I just wanted to let you know. It’s important that you know—”
“Mark,” she cut him off. “I like you too. A lot.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and covered his eyes with his free hand. “Oh thank god. Thank god!” he exclaimed.
Y/N shushed him, “You’re gonna wake up the neighborhood, Invincible.”
“Sorry,” he giggled quietly, “I got excited.”
She laughed and faced her body towards him. They locked eyes again, and Mark didn’t know if it was gravity or just the adrenaline that pushed him, but he finally leaned down and met her lips. Static ran through his body as he deepened the kiss, and he felt an excitement that was even more exhilarating than the first time he flew.
She pulled away and Mark ran his hand through her hair, resting his hand on her cheek. “How was that?” he asked.
She smiled gently and placed her hand over his, “Totally fine.”
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