#why are all my quotes about blenders and
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Good Omens incorrect quotes:
Aziraphale: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Crowley, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
~
Aziraphale: Violence isn't the answer.
Crowley: You’re right.
Aziraphale: *sighs in relief*
Crowley: Violence is the question.
Aziraphale: What?
Crowley, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Aziraphale, running after them: NO-
~
Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?
Crowley: I only take cash or credit.
~
Aziraphale: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Crowley: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
~
Aziraphale: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Crowley: What did you do?
Aziraphale: Nobody died.
Crowley: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
~
Aziraphale: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Crowley: Killed without hesitation.
Aziraphale: No.
~
*how season 3 should start*
Aziraphale: Top 30 reasons why Aziraphale is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!
Crowley: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!
~
Crowley: You're right.
Aziraphale: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
~
Beelzebub: I’m going to take you out
Gabriel: great, it’s a date!
Beelzebub: I meant that as a threat.
Gabriel: See you at five!
~
Crowley: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Gabriel: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.
~
Beelzebub: I made tea.
Crowley: I don’t want tea.
Beelzebub: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Crowley: Then why are you telling me?
Beelzebub: It is a conversation starter.
Crowley: That’s a lousy conversation starter.
Beelzebub: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
~
Aziraphale: This is bothering me.
Crowley: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Aziraphale: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.
~
Aziraphale: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Gabriel, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Aziraphale:
Aziraphale: fsh
~
Crowley: God, give me patience.
Gabriel: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Crowley: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
~
Aziraphale: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Crowley: That's why I carry two swords.
~
Gabriel: So what’s for dinner?
Beelzebub, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.
~
Muriel: Why are you on the floor?
Crowley: I'm depressed.
Crowley: Also I was stabbed, can you get Aziraphale, please.
~
Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fell please come to the front desk?
Aziraphale, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Crowley and Muriel
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Crowley and Muriel, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Aziraphale: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
~
Muriel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Crowley: The cow???
Muriel: What?
Aziraphale: Crowley, W H Y?
~
Aziraphale: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Crowley?
Crowley: … No.
Muriel: I do!
Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.
Muriel: I’m sad!
Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.
~
Muriel: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Crowley: The car takes a screenshot.
Aziraphale: For the last time, get the fuck out.
~
Crowley: Aziraphale and I don’t use pet names.
Nina: I see. Hey, what are those things with the halos called again??
Crowley: Angel?
Aziraphale: Yes, dear?
Crowley:
Nina: Don't ever lie to my face again.
~
Muriel: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Crowley: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Aziraphale isn’t
~
Aziraphale: We need a distraction.
Crowley: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Muriel, whispering: My time has come
~
Aziraphale: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Muriel: Okay, but in my defense, Mr. Crowley bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Aziraphale: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
~
Aziraphale: Crowley, keep an eye on Gabriel today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Crowley: Sure, I’d love to see Gabriel get punched.
Aziraphale: Try again.
Crowley, sighing: I will stop Gabriel from getting punched.
~
Maggie: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Crowley: I'm a knife.
Aziraphale, from across the room: They're the little spoon.
~
Aziraphale, driving Crowley and Muriel: So how was your day?
Muriel: We almost got surprise adopted!
Aziraphale: What?
Crowley: We almost got kidnapped.
Aziraphale: Oh, okay.
Aziraphale: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?
~
Aziraphale: You have to apologize to Gabriel
Crowley: Fine.
Crowley: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.
~
Crowley: Hey angel,
Aziraphale: Yes?
Crowley: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Aziraphale:
Aziraphale: Where’s Gabriel?
~
Aziraphale: WHY. why did you give Muriel a KNIFE?!
Crowley: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.
Aziraphale: Now I feel unsafe!
Crowley: I’m sorry.
Crowley: ... would you like a knife?
~
Muriel: Hey, Mr. Crowley? Can I get some dating advice?
Crowley: Just because I’m with Aziraphale doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
~
Aziraphale: Crowley and I are having a baby.
Muriel: That's gre-
Aziraphale, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
~
Muriel: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Crowley: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Aziraphale: In that case, we're definitely lost
~
Muriel: What do you think Mr. Crowley will do for a distraction?
Aziraphale: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Aziraphale: ... or they could do that.
~
Aziraphale: I trust Crowley.
Muriel: You think they know what they're doing?
Aziraphale: I wouldn't go that far.
~
Aziraphale: While I’m gone, Muriel, you’re in charge.
Muriel: Yes!!!
Aziraphale, whispering: Crowley, you’re secretly in charge.
Crowley: Obviously.
~
Aziraphale: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Crowley: *turning to Gabriel* How tall are you?
#featuring a lot of inneffable husbands#Crowley and Aziraphale being Muriel’s parents essentially#Aziraphale refusing to let Crowley drive with Muriel in the car#a tiny bit of inneffable bureaucracy#a whole lot of Crowley openly hating Gabriel now that he can’t get smited for that#bad influence Crowley#Maggie and Nina supporting the dumbass gays#they/them Crowley and Muriel#and just Crowley being my favorite character#maddy’s thoughts (taken straight from the brain)#good omens#good omens 2#inneffable husbands#inneffable bureaucracy#incorrect good omens quotes
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FNAFMovie!Incorrect Quotes: Part Four
WILLIAM, as Steve Raglan: You're clearly not listening. I can say whatever I want, can't I?
MIKE, half asleep: Tell me about it.
WILLIAM: I murdered another kid last night.
MIKE: I feel you.
WILLIAM: Now I have the taste of blood, I can't stop killing.
MIKE, yawning: Been there
***
MIKE: If I seem intense, that's for one reason and one reason only, okay? I don't wanna be here and I'm really sad.
***
VANESSA: Why is Barbie's the Nutcracker the only good film adaptation of the ballet that has ever been made?
MIKE, who’s been around Abby too long: Because Barbie movies slap, next question.
***
WILLIAM: it's time for you to die.
ABBY: One sec, let me ask my brother
WILLIAM: It's not a choi--
ABBY: Mike said no.
***
MIKE: I did what I could, you know, while I was also trying not to bleed to death.
***
WILLIAM: I will ruin your happiness, no matter the cost!
MIKE: My happiness?
MIKE, turning to Vanessa: I'm happy?
***
ABBY: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
ABBY: *punches wall*
ABBY:
ABBY: Take me to the hospital.
***
MIKE: Well, well, well. If it isn’t my old friend...the dawning realization that I messed up bad.
***
MRS. AFTON: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
WILLIAM: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD
MRS. AFTON: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes. Also, use soap this time?
***
WILLIAM, a career counselor: Look, I would like to give you moral advice, but I have very questionable morals.
***
MIKE: You're my little sister and the most important thing in the world to me. I would do anything for you.
ABBY: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
MIKE: Absolutely not.
***
MIKE: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm ticked off
***
MIKE: You saved me. I owe you my life.
VANESSA: No, thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.
***
WILLIAM, first interviewing Mike: You look familiar. Have I killed one of your loved ones before?
***
MIKE: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you
***
MIKE: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
WILLIAM: You mean literally or figuratively?
MIKE: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
***
WILLIAM: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.
WILLIAM: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'Someone has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'
***
VANESSA: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
MIKE: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
***
MIKE: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person. And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'
***
ABBY: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
MIKE:
MIKE: Abby, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
ABBY: *Sips chocolate milk from bowl*
***
MIKE: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
(This can apply to both the movie and the game)
***
VANESSA: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
MIKE, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
***
MIKE: Okay, maybe playing, "Whose family is more dysfunctional" was a bad idea. Vanessa's sobbing in the bathroom now. We can't get her out.
***
MIKE: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just incase.
VANESSA: Mike, that's a coma.
MIKE: Sounds festive.
***
VANESSA: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!
MIKE: How can you still say that?
VANESSA: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
***
WILLIAM: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
VANESSA: Twelve, actually.
WILLIAM: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really, whose fault is that?
VANESSA: Yours!
WILLIAM: That's right: no one's.
***
[Mike is the only one raising Abby after his dad’s depressed and his mom lost it]
MIKE: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Mike’s Dad: You're, like, 15 years old
MIKE: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
***
WILLIAM, sitting with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Michael
MIKE: How did you do that without turning around?
WILLIAM: ...To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
***
[The career counselor scene]
MIKE, explaining why he's gone through so many jobs: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
WILLIAM: Mike, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're stupid
***
MIKE, banging on the door: Vanessa! Open up!
VANESSA: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
MIKE: No, I meant--
ABBY: Let her finish.
***
#josh hutcherson#mike schmidt#fnaf#mike schmidt fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf movie#mike and abby schmidt#incorrect fnaf quotes#incorrect quotes#william afton#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#vanessa afton#abby schmidt
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The Incorrect Quote Cookie Jar
Incorrect quote shenanigans with you and various cookies. More quotes will be added at future times. Enjoy! :D
———————————————————————
Y/N Cookie: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Caramel Arrow Cookie: It’s not a joke.
Caramel Arrow Cookie: *sniffles*
Caramel Arrow Cookie: I’m a legit snack.
———————————————————————
Y/N Cookie: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Financier Cookie: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Vagabond Cookie: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Y/N Cookie: No! Four to five seconds!
Vagabond Cookie: Too late!!
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Red Velvet Cookie, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
——————————————————————-
Pistachio Cookie: Y/N Cookie is playing hard to get.
Pistachio Cookie: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
——————————————————————-
Kumiho Cookie: Y/N Cookie, you love me, right?
Y/N Cookie: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.
——————————————————————-
Eclair Cookie: FUTURESPOUSESAYSWHAT
Y/N Cookie: Huh?
Espresso Cookie: What?
Eclair Cookie: D A M N I T
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Vampire Cookie: Marry me.
——————————————————————-
Blackberry Cookie: Can you cut me some slack, Y/N Cookie? I’m sort of in love.
Y/N Cookie: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.
Blackberry Cookie: I’m in love with you.
Y/N Cookie: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: *angrily presses Rougefort Cookie against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Rougefort Cookie: ...
Rougefort Cookie: Are we about to kiss-
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?
Rambutan Cookie: What? Like J F K W S Q X-
Y/N Cookie: No, like, U R A Q T.
Rambutan Cookie: Awwww!
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: I don’t do relationships.
Cotton Candy Cookie: *exists*
Y/N Cookie: Crap.
——————————————————————-
Truffle Cookie: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Y/N Cookie: Peonies, why?
Truffle Cookie:
Y/N Cookie: Were you going to get me flowers?
Truffle Cookie:
Y/N Cookie:
Truffle Cookie: It’s a possibility
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: Is something burning?
Espresso Cookie, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
Y/N Cookie: Espresso Cookie, the toaster is literally on fire.
——————————————————————-
Cheesecake Cookie: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Y/N Cookie: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Cheesecake Cookie: That one. I want that one.
——————————————————————-
Dr Livesey stroll brought to you by the TBD and Y/N Cookie
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Alarm clock: exists
Y/N Cookie and Moonlight Cookie: Evil
——————————————————————-
Raspberry Cookie: Is this your plan B?
Y/N Cookie: Technically, this is plan P.
Raspberry Cookie: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Y/N Cookie: Yes, but I marry Princess Cookie in plan M.
Princess Cookie: I like plan M
——————————————————————-
Windarcher Cookie: I know you love them.
Fire Spirit Cookie: I am not in love with Y/N Cookie!
Windarcher Cookie, staring at Fire Spirit Cookie: I never said who...
Fire Spirit Cookie: *realizes*
Fire Spirit Cookie: S***. Well, anyways-
——————————————————————-
*Y/N Cookie is crying after a breakup*
Seaweed Cookie: There there, Y/N Cookie.
Y/N Cookie, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?
Seaweed Cookie: Great question—
——————————————————————-
Oyster Cookie: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Y/N Cookie: I wrote you a poem.
Oyster Cookie, already crying: You did?
——————————————————————-
Dark Cacao Cookie: What are you still doing out here?
Y/N Cookie: Naming stars after the cookies I love.
Dark Cacao Cookie, hesitantly: Do I get a star?
Y/N Cookie: You get the sun.
——————————————————————-
Lychee Dragon Cookie: Right hand red.
Lotus Dragon Cookie: ends up on top of Y/N Cookie
Y/N Cookie: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Lychee Dragon Cookie: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.
——————————————————————-
Sour Belt Cookie: finds a note Hmm, whats this?
Chocolate Bonbon Cookie: Hey, that's mine! tries to grab it
Sour Belt Cookie: Aww, it's a love note for Y/N Cookie?
Chocolate Bonbon Cookie: No-
Sour Belt Cookie: opens it
Sour Belt Cookie: ……
Chocolate Bonbon Cookie: ….
Sour Belt Cookie: I can't read this.
——————————————————————-
Black Garlic Cookie, at Y/N Cookie: Would you like to stay for dinner?
White Ghost Cookie, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!
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Wasabi Cookie: Did you take out Aloe Cookie as I requested?
Y/N Cookie: Aloe Cookie has been taken out, yes.
Wasabi Cookie: You have my grat-
Y/N Cookie: It was a great restaurant.
Y/N Cookie: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.
Y/N Cookie: Aloe Cookie proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.
——————————————————————-
Pomegranate Cookie, holding a rock: Y/N Cookie just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".
Dark Choco Cookie: If you don't marry them, I will.
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Y/N Cookie: What time is it?
Coffee Candy Cookie: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
Coffee Candy Cookie: Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune
Baguette Cookie: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Coffee Candy Cookie: It’s 2 am
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie, pointing: May I sit there?
Light Cream Cookie: That's my lap
Y/N Cookie: That doesn't answer my question, Light Cream Cookie.
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.
Croissant Cookie: Oh, you’ve been?
Y/N Cookie: Once. In Monopoly.
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: If you had to choose between Adventurer Cookie and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Blackberry Cookie: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Adventurer Cookie: Blackberry Cookie!
Y/N Cookie: 63 cents.
Blackberry Cookie: I'll take the money.
Adventurer Cookie: BLACKBERRY COOKIE!!!
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie: We need to get through this locked door. Coffee Candy Cookie, give me your credit card.
Coffee Candy Cookie: Here.
Y/N Cookie, pocketing it: Thanks. Timekeeper Cookie, kick down the door.
——————————————————————-
Y/N Cookie, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Hollyberry Cookie: You did WHAT–
Princess Cookie: William Snakepeare
#incorrect cookie run quotes#cookie run x reader#cr x reader#cookie run x you#crk x reader#cookie run kingdom x reader#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run ovenbreak#cr kingdom#crob x reader#cookie run ovenbreak x reader
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Protective (J.T x F!Reader) P.T2
Here you go @p4inis . The (not so) long awaited sequel to Protective. I didn't do any actual smut this time around but if anyone wants to see some send me a request!
WARNINGS: Sexual innuendos, allusions to smut, Jason Todd being the best boyfriend ever, Alcohol, Smoking, Cussin, SEXUAL HARRASMENT, Reader gets slapped on the ass, Misogny, R@pe culture, violence, jason punches a POS, Jason definitly has a daddy kink....
"That's much better."
“Oh is it now?” He teases. Jason walks into the bathroom, sitting on the toilet lid. “Honestly I thought the first one was better.”
“Oh really?” you saw, pulling out your foundation, highlighter and concealer. You pull the beauty blender out of the drawer as well. Turning on the sink, you wet the beauty blender with lukewarm water.
“Oh absolutely babes.” Jason pulls out a lipstick and your eyeshadow pallet. “I say you go with a classic red lip tonight.”
“You want red lips too mister?” You say, taking the back of the beauty blender to apply the three pumps of foundation you put on the back of your hand. Blending it out you say “If not I'd put that lipstick back babes.”
“Why.” he says, looking at the packaging of the tube, trying to see if there is some sort of marking that says he would get red lips too. During this time you open your concealer and use the wand to apply the product.
“That lipstick transfers like a motherfucker. Get the liquid lipstick in there. The Huda Beauty one.” you blend the concealer out with the tip of the sponge, making sure to get under your eyes as well.
“This ones the one I bought you for our anniversary right?” he asks. Pulling out the tube from the drawer, he places it on the counter.
“Yeah. The one you claimed was, and I quote, ‘way too damn expensive’.” Placing the cap back on the contour stick you take the other side of the beauty blender to blend the product out. “Can you get me my setting powder and brush?”
“Yeah.” Jason reaches into the drawer once more, this time returning with the products you asked for. “God that fucking lipstick was way to damn expensive though.” he places hte items next to the lipstick.
“Yeah 20 fucking dollars was way to damn much for someting i barely ever have the occasion to wear.” you pick up the setting powder and grab the powder puff inside, baking below your eyes, between your eyebrows, over your nose, on your chin and in the center of your forehead. “I’m honestly surprised you bought it for me in the first place. I was joking about needing it.”
“Shit, really?” he laughs
“Yeah. I wasn't even really expecting you to even remember I said something about it.”
“I'm honestly so hurt that you think I don't remember stuff like that.” Jason places a hand over his heart, pretending as if he was shot in the chest. “I literally read and annotate books for you.”
“True.”You grab the pallet out of Jason's lap and grab two brushes out of the drawer. “But it was so menial and we were watching tv.” You open the eyeshadow and grab the fluffy brush and get some of a light brown on it, blending it out all over your eye.
“I have entire notes on my phone filled with things you say you like or want.”
“Really?” You ask, now grabbing a darker brown to blend into your outer corner.
“Oh yeah. I'm constantly adding shit to them. Like the Baby Yoda Squishmallow we saw at Costco last week.” he says. He remembers how your eyes lit up when you saw the massive plushie. The way you would stare at it every time you passed by once or twice trying to subtly touch the plush.
“Oh my fucking god, I didnt even say anything about that though! How do you know about that?” lastly you take a small brush with some black eyeshadow and place it directly on your waterline, lashline and in a general wing shape, before blending it out.
“I can read you like a book my love.” Jason look s at you with admiration. Watching as you pull your eyeliner out of the drawer and draw near perfect wings on your eyes. “And god help me if you aren't my most favorite thing i've ever read.”
“You are just the sweetest Jason Todd.” You look over at him. He's sitting there staring at you, watching you with all the admiration in the world. “God I love you Jase.” You say as you lean in to kiss him on the lips.
“I love you too, princess.” he says. Turning away from him with a smile, you grab the lipstick, applying a layer of the red liquid to your lips. “You look so kissable right now. God, I love your lips.” you look over at him and give him a slight smile.
“And I love the taste that comes out of both sets.” he says with a smirk.
“Jason!” you turn around blushing. You grab your eyebrow pencil and begin filling in the shapes. “What did I say? If you keep it in your pants all night i'll let you do whatever you want with me when we get home.”
“Don't have to tell me twice.” he stands up. “Imma go start the car and get a blunt rolled. I left the jacket on your bed.”
“Okay i'll be down in just a minute.” you respond. You grab your eyelash curler and make a few quick passes on both eyes, before grabbing the mascara and applying two coats.
You throw everything back into the drawer and grab your lipstick and the necklace you left on the counter. Walking into your closet, you grab a pair of silver heels You had bought a couple of years back. Grabbing the jacket Jason left on your bed, you grab your keys, turn off the lights, and lock up the apartment.
The Galla is loud and boisterous. Dozens of people from Gotham are here, mostly upper class old white men and their families, but a decent amount of paparazzi and the Wayne Scholars.
“I forget how fucking annoying these things are.” Jason complains. He lightly pulls on his tie, loosening it slightly to alleviate some of the pressure.
“You also don't like a majority of people.” you respond.
The night had been fun so far. Once you had arrived at the party, Jason dropped the keys to one of Bruces’ Rolls Royces’ with the valet and ushered you inside, past the blinding flashing lights of the cameras.
When you both finally made it inside you had quickly done the obligatory meet and greet with at least 15 people and quickly shuffled off towards the bar. There Jason had gotten himself a Whiskey on the rocks and you a tequila Martini.
Now, both of you hid in the northern corner of the room, at a small table nursing your drinks. “You don’t care for most people either sweetheart.”
“True, but I'm better at hiding it than you.” you take the last sip of your martini and stand from your chair. “I'm gonna go get myself a margarita. I'll be right back, baby.” You leave a small peck on his cheek before making your way over to the bar.
“What can I get for you Mrs. Todd?” Alex joked. You had known Alex for years, having gone to highschool with him and even having scored the leading parts in your school's play during your guys’ senior year.
“A strawberry margarita please Alex.” you smile at him.
“Coming right up babes.” Alex winks at you. His affection had never been anything more than friendly. Alex had come out to you as AroAce in your sophomore year.
You had allowed yourself to get lost in memories of the past before a voice cut your train of thought short.
“Hey pretty lady. Are you here alone?” The voice was gravely and hoarse, tainted with decades of life.
“No actually. I'm here with my boyfriend.” You respond. You shift in your seat, trying to put as much distance between you two as possible without being seen as rude.
“He couldn't take care of you like I could.” The man places his hand on your thigh, Slowly inching it upward. “I could take care of you in ways you could never imagine.”
“Here’s your margarita Mrs. Todd.” Alex says sliding the glass towards you, making direct eye contact with the old man next to you.
“Todd? You're here with Wayne's Son?” The man asks.
“Yeah, I thought it would be obvious with the leather jacket but I guess not.” You snark back. You stand up and turn around to walk back to Jason when you feel something small and sharp hit your ass.
“Fucking excuse me?” You look up to see Jason standing right behind you. “What the fuck do you think gives you the right to touch someone else like that huh?” Jason lightly pushes you to the side as to put him right in front of the grimey old man.
“She was asking for it wearing a dress like that.” Jason clenches his fists at the comment.
“I'm sorry, what now?” Jason asks. Jason starts to stand taller, shifting his weight and getting closer to the man now. The interaction quickly gained a crowd of paparazzi and Guests alike.
You softly grab Jason's right hand, holding it between yours and rubbing small patterns on back. “Baby leave him. He's just an ignorant old man. He-”
“He Fucking touched you, the ugly ass fossil deserves to be beat to a pulp.” Jason seethes. The man visibly grows angry at the disrespect.
“Who you calling old, brat?” The man now stands up, barley coming up to jason's nose.
“You. So step off or this will get ugly.” Jason warns, pulling you behind him, now holding your hands with his left. Jason puffs up bigger, trying to intimidate the man into fucking off.
“If she wants to dress like a prostitute then she will be treated like one. She deserves everything I did to her the Whor-” The man didn't even get a chance to finish his sentence before Jason punches him square in the nose. The punch breaks the geezer's nose as well as knocking him out cold.
“Come on baby. Let's get out of here.” you pull jason along, pulling him out the back of the venue, towards the parking lot the valets were using. “Let's go home please.”
“When we get outside, take your heels off and jump on my back.” Jason instructs.
“Yes, sir.” You respond. Jason lets a small ‘fuck’ out before just picking you up bridal style and kicking the door open. Jason proceeds to run towards the elevator spamming the button for the basement, where Bruce leaves some of his extra civilian cars.
“You're taking one of Bruce's?”
“It's faster than trying to track down the damn valet with my keys.” He responds. When Jason gets to the audi R8 he opens the passenger side door and sets you down gently before closing the door and running around towards the drivers side.
“Take me home, Jase.” You say when he starts the engine.
“Anything for my princess.”
When you finally arrive back at your apartment, Jason pushes you up against the wall in the entrance way.both hands on your waist “Did that bastard hurt you?”
“No sir. I'm okay.” You respond, Jason pulls his left hand from your hip and places it on your neck, applying a small amount of pressure.
“Stop fucking calling me that or ill ruin you here and now.” Jasons’ pupils are blown wide, his hands shaking slightly and the bulge in his pants grows more noticeable by the second.
“What, are you gonna punish me?” You tease. Jason tightens his grip on your throat. He shoves your legs apart with his knee and places it right up against your clit.
“I said dont fucking try me princess.” You giggle a bit before he speaks again. “Im not in the fucking mood so dont.”
“Or what? You gonna ruin me?” Jason pushes his knee up, pushing it harder against your pussy
“That can be arranged,” he whispers. His whole body is shaking at this point, the mix of the adrenaline and the pure lust he feels clouding his mind.
“Then ruin me daddy.”
Those four words spark something in Jason and before you know it, you're being thrown over his shoulder and tossed on your bed.
“Just remember princess, you asked for this.”
#jason todd#red hood#arkham knight#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#arkham knight x reader#jasontoddxreader#redhoodxreader#arkhamknightxreader#DC#DCEU
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Why was Louis so angry with Lestat when he was the one who stood by when Claudia tried to kill him?
(Doesn't the latter part of your ask play into that though?^^)
Louis was angry with Lestat (and resentful) because he blamed what later happened on Lestat, or at least... tried to curb the pain by doing so.
The thing is that Lestat was told not to tell, or else (by Marius). And at that point he did not know whether Marius would hold him to that promise/threat.
So Louis and Claudia never got many explanations, it was painfully obvious that Lestat did not tell them what they wanted (or needed) to know.
And... he also didn't tell them the details about Paris either, obviously. Or Armand. Or the cult. Et cetera.
Louis goes to Europe with Claudia, they travel for a few years, and eventually get to Paris, and start to live again, finally.
And then they encounter the coven there and Armand pulls Louis in, falls for him, Louis falls for Armand... and Armand decides to have Louis and to get rid of Claudia.
"I must have Louis, that was my injunction. I knew no other."
He is the coven master, he has never had a lot of qualms about "cleaning up" (does not have any qualms about this later either) and Claudia is definitely against the rules. And in the way. He tells her to let Louis go, Claudia goes to Louis... and Louis fails her again, turning to Armand. And the tragedy unfolds.
After the trial Louis is being spell-bound by Armand, calmed to leave.
And Armand’s eye said, Sleep.
After Louis' revenge they leave Paris, and Armand tags along... but Louis is only a shell afterwards, a numb and passionless thing that continues on because he cannot not.
Louis, my companion, dried up of his own free will, rather like a beautiful rose skillfully dehydrated in sand so that it retains its proportions, nay, even its fragrance and even its tint. For all the blood he drank, he himself became dry, heartless, a stranger to himself and tome.
It is after they break up that Louis encounters Daniel in the books, gives that (first) interview.
He is jaded, angry at how things turned out. He does not yet know why Lestat withheld all this knowledge, all this history. (That is part of the reason why Lestat actually writes down his own story!)
Louis holds the grudge that Lestat's withholding his knowledge resulted in Claudia's death. And how their life together ended.
That is part of why he is angry still in the books.
(That anger will be gone by the time he actually understands, after reading Lestat's book and reuniting with him.)
Now.
This quote from Jacob calls back to all of that, as he directly refers to the original story.
But... the Louis in Dubai is not that, not really angry.
He probably was, but in the 70s he's already referring the "terrible thing" he did once, that he regrets.
For him... other aspects come into play. And I can only refer to the awesome Gizmodo article by @lincodega here, published almost a year ago. I can only recommend reading it, but ultimately it boils down to this quote:
"The motivation to embellish the worst parts and understate the best parts is literally standing in the room with him."
And, as a last note, on a bit of a tangent, but because I think that is good to keep in mind for this interview:
"At the end of the night, Armand is not to be trusted! It’s not just that Rashid is Armand-coded, but the entire season is Armand-coded. Armand is a master manipulator, a manifestation of 500 years of traumatic, absolutely batshit insane cult behaviour, and the boy has fangs the size of the Ottoman empire. Armand takes mansplain, manipulate, malewife to unprescended levels of insanity. Like, I love him, he’s a weird little gremlin who plays with blenders and starts a podcast, for some reason, but he’s absolutely out of gourd and willing to do anything to keep everything just how he likes it, and that includes Louis."
#Anonymous#amc iwtv#iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire amc#iwtv amc#iwtv 2022#interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#loustat#armand#loumand#angry
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*Warning, this is gonna be a ridiculously long post...
So, some of you reeeeally wanted to know just a teeny weenie bit more about my weird boy huh? Well, here ya go:
Yeah, where do I freakin' start with this--? It was not only hard to put together despite the very simple (and more obvious) inspirations... but I had to mega ponder whatever the heck I was on when creating this character, LOL
Lets break it down all over again:
It is extremely obvious (I think) of which characters Tilde's appearance mostly stems from... our funny scout robots from Cave Story: Mr. Traveler and Curly Brace themselves. (Which heehee geddit he has a punctuation naem TILDE ~~ xdd)
I'm pretty sure some of you have probably assumed (Especially with how much I pair them together...^^") Tilde is... well... their kid somehow--
Not... quite? It's... much more complicated than that, don't worry about it! Anyways, I basically chucked them both into a blender to combine their appearances together as much as possible; an example of this is Tilde's hair! It's a blonde color like Curly's and straight; but has a waviness, spiking up at the ends like Quote's hair.
Tilde's antenna earphone things are green, and his eye color is also that bluescreen blue that Curly has as well, lol.
So Tilde's outfit inspirations! Tilde is actually wearing Sue Sakamoto's sweater, along with someone's long green scarf. Its a bit old and worn out... but it's very shnazzy, dontcha think? ^^ In earlier drawing drafts of Tilde back in 2021, his sleeves were actually much more sprite accurate to Sue's-- But then I played OneShot and drew them droopy like Niko's once and it... stuck. idc its staying too. I think I wanted to give him a cuteness bonus, so I gave him hairpins thanks to Chase from Harvest Moon lol
Underneath Tilde's sweater he is wearing a simple black tank with magenta shorts, like Quote's tank and sprite Curly's pants. His shoes I unfortunately don't have a direct correlation for their colors, but they're inspired by Cave Story 3D JP Curly's shoes.
A much more rare appearance, but this is what Tilde looks like as an adolescent-- Don't question why, just roll with it-- I have my reasons and I won't tell you :^) When I was drawing him, my brain just handed me Basil from Omori. Literally, just Basil's energy and a bit of the Mother series protagonists for outfit design... I tried to swishing it around a bit and ended up with a very puntable looking guy, which was the exact vibe I was going for~ >:3c
I gave Tilde a sweater turtleneck and called it a day, then Lucas came to mind again when I was coloring-- Which overall made this particular bit of the outfit more interesting ^^ Tilde here is also wearing Toroko's pendant. Not really much else to cover here, since the many traits from Tilde's youth carries into here. Continuing...
Oh boy, how the times have changed and he's all grown up now T_T
Tilde when he's older takes almost all the liberties from especially Quote, wearing his infamous deadpan expression naturally... but he still remains extremely expressive like Curly ^^
Tilde's outfit is very obviously influenced by them, from their cargo pants to their color schemes (which are also admittedly being carried from his youth as well.) Quote's Blade Strangers design (If you ever heard of it.) was definitely an influence for him as well--
BUT to keep him looking a bit more fresh, I devised to use even more of that special jrpg sauce i love to throw on my characters lmAO
Y'all should already know from my previous post that I'm a weeb a Japanese culture enthusiast, not gonna explain that again
Specially for his outfit Tetsuya Nomura's character designs immediately come to mind, i cannot tell you which one specifically.
While imagining the "cool rpg boy outfit" all these characters blend together in my head, probs because they seem to have similar vibes LOL (very cool Nomura-san)
100% CERTAIN Felix from Golden Sun had an influence on Tilde's outward appearance. I actually drew older Tilde before teen Tilde, and I gave him long hair partly bc of him-- lmao
(While Soren from Fire Emblem is not a main influence for Tilde, he is simply here because I hate him for making me realize long haired dudes are just,,, peak character design idk what to tell you.)
So that's Tilde's sheet
goes very crazy I know
If imma do a Tilde sheet, i gotta do it properly-- He's the best(est)
I'm very tired I worked on this for almost a whole week lol imma sleep or something
#so that's it#if you are curious about the inspirations for a different character#just ask me!#original content#tilde
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Six of Crows characters as incorrect quotes (part 2)
Inej: If you had to choose between Jesper and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Kaz: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Jesper: Kaz!
Inej: 63 cents.
Kaz: I'll take the money.
Jesper: KAZ!!!
--
Inej: Wylan, keep an eye on Kuwei today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Wylan: Sure, I’d love to see Kuwei get punched.
Inej: Try again.
Wylan, sighing: I will stop Kuwei from getting punched.
--
Inej: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Jesper: The car takes a screenshot.
Wylan: For the last time, get the fuck out.
--
Nina: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Matthias, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
--
Wylan: Fuck.
Nina: We've got to work on your cursing.
Wylan: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.
--
Jesper: Okay, help me please!
Kaz: Got two words for you.
Jesper: I bet they won't be helpful.
Kaz: Your problem.
Jesper: I was right
--
Jesper: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]
Kaz: What's that?
Jesper: Remorse code.
Kaz: I'm even angrier now.
--
Matthias: Nina, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Nina: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Matthias: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Inej.
--
Jesper: What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Nina: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Wylan: Smad.
--
*The group is getting into the car*
Inej: I’m driving.
Jesper, out of view: Shotgun!
Nina, turning to face Jesper: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Jesper: WOAH-
Jesper, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
--
Wylan: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Jesper: Okay, but in my defense, Nina bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Wylan: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
Part one
Part three
#six of crows#grishaverse#wylan van eck#kaz brekker#jesper fahey#nina zenik#matthias helvar#inej ghafa#kuwei yul bo#wesper#kanej#helnik#my posts#the worst of scar
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"I want to put her in the blender" is such an Ianthe-based mood. She made all the stuff with Harrow so much more fun for me, because like I said, she's just a good balance.
And yes! I feel like her voice totally undercuts some really beautiful things, or things that could be beautiful, because she's got to sound himbo-y or whatever. It is my literary cilantro--I can concieve of the idea that people like it, but I do not understand how the taste of soap isn't ruining the entire dish for them.
I actually very likely won't read Nona. I read the "Gideon will be back in Nona the Ninth" and I will be so annoyed if, after doing all this really lovely stuff about letting go, and how Gideon died and you have to let her die, it's going to be me opening a book to read, "Our blood ran red, and together--you know, sort of like in a children's hospital! Fuck yeah! I'm wearing aviators" and then I will be mad on at least two levels.
Thank you so much! I was nervous about doing it because believe it or not, I don't actually like being an insufferable hater. ("Why am I constantly painted as the critical one, came the inevitable critique")
I LOVED that. I read it like three times in a row, just, amazing. I loved her whole "Apologize, tell me you loved her, tell me you would never have hurt her, and now I'm going to fucking DISMANTLE you." Loved Mercymorn. God. Top tier character. And not just because I'm like #relatable but I think both she and Augustine are this really clever way of showing that thing I was talking about when I posted the whole Mercymorn quote, about working together with people you can't fucking stand, and both she and he are annoying and constantly pick at each other, but they CAN work for a better good, and they both are tragic figures in their way. I do like Mercymorn more because I GET her more, but I think Augustine is also great.
I just need, bodies hitting the floor. Don't get me wrong, I actually loved what this did with grief and loss and ghosts. No quarrel even a little bit with how they used "dead" people in this book, and y'all know me THAT IS A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. It wsn't even a case of "I'm choosing to let this go" which I sometimes must do, it was a case of 'This feels so correct and organic and not like an asspull at all" that I didn't even feel annoyed MILDLY.
But, if after those last chapters, Gideon is back, I am going to feel cheated. I do not like being emotionally screwed with. You want me to feel grief, and sadness, you had better be prepared to live without that character.
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Show Me Yours Incorrect Quotes
I got bored and I'm having a major's writer block so I messed around with an incorrect quotes generator for Show Me Yours
(here's the link for anyone interested: https://incorrect-quotes-generator.neocities.org/)
Tommie and Matty
Tommie: Matty... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Matty: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Tommie:
Tommie: I wrote sanitize, Matty.
Tommie: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE
Matty: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
Tommie, desperately, as Matty bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Matty: Oh! B positive.
Tommie: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Matty:
Tommie: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Matty: Oh, I’m always running
Matty: The question is from what
The Band
Tommie: Bye Matty! Bye Ross! Bye George! Bye Adam! Bye Matty!
Ross: You said ‘bye Matty’ twice.
Tommie: I like Matty.
Matty: I’m an idiot.
Ross:
George:
Adam:
Tommie:
Matty:
Tommie: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
Tommie: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Matty: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
George: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Ross: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Adam: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
Matty: What does 'take out' mean?
Ross: Food.
Adam: Dating
George: Murder
Tommie: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
Adam: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Matty: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Tommie: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Ross: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
George: My moral code, is that you?
Adam:
Adam: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Matty: Ross, can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Tommie are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Matty: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
George: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Tommie: The car takes a screenshot.
Adam: For the last time, get the fuck out.
Adam: This is such a bad idea.
Tommie: Then why are you coming along?
Adam: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
Adam: Tommie...
Tommie: Oh no, 'Tommie' in b-flat.
Tommie: You're disappointed.
Tommie and Others
Tommie: Caleb and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Caleb: Sentences.
Tommie: Don't interrupt me.
Tommie: Am I in trouble?
Jamie: Take a guess.
Tommie: No?
Jamie: Take another guess.
Mitch: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Tommie: I do have a sense of humor you know
Mitch: I’ve never heard you laugh before
Tommie: I’ve never heard you say anything funny
Phoebe: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Tommie: You mean literally or figuratively?
Phoebe: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
Phoebe: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Tommie, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Jamie, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
Tommie: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Jamie, with the tone of someone who is used to Tommie: Outstanding.
Jamie: This is what I’m talking about people.
Jamie Cook: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Tommie: The cow???
Jamie Cook: What?
Ross: Tommie, W H Y?
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Incorrect quotes with the five villains!
Menendez: Bye Menèndez! Bye Rorke! Bye Adler! Bye Graves! Bye Menéndez!
Rorke: You said 'bye Menéndez' twice.
Makarov: I like Menéndez.
.
Makarov: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Menéndez: "Prettiest smile."
Rorke: "Nicest personality."
Adler: "Most likely to start a bar fight."
Graves: "Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one."
(new hc, adler and graves fight in bars occasionally /j)
.
Graves: Good morning.
Menéndez: Good morning.
Adler: Good morning.
Rorke: You all sound like robots! Try spicing it up a bit—
Makarov: GOOD MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
.
Makarov: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Rorke will and will not eat!
Menéndez: Grass? Yes.
Makarov: Moss? Yep.
Menéndez: Leaves? Yes!
Makarov: Shoelaces? Strangely, yes.
Menéndez: Worms? Occasionally.
Makarov: Rocks? Nope.
Menéndez: Twigs? Usually, for some reason.
Makarov: Graves's cooking? Inconclusive.
Adler: How did you two.. Test this?
Makarov: You just hand him stuff and say "eat this" and if he eats it, he eats it.
Adler: I, don't know how to feel about this.
Graves, VERY concerned: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT??
.
Graves: What does "take out" mean?
Rorke: Food!
Menèndez: Dating.
Adler: Murder.
Makarov: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
Graves: Are we really going to let Menéndez keep Makarov?
Adler: We kept Rorke.
(hold on im getting vibes)
.
Menéndez: Poison is a magic transmutation that turns people into corpses.
Rorke: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Makarov: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.
Adler: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Graves: What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Adler and Graves incorrect quotes, because I feel like these two could get along.
Graves, in a beach shirt: So sue me, and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Adler: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Because I've got your history right here on the sidebar.
Adler: Take it back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, TREAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET— What the FUCK happened to you?!
Graves, laughing his ass off: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS—
Adler: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED? DO I NEED TO GET AN EXORCIST?!
Adler: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND! WHO A R E YOU?!
Graves, crying and laughing: i ha d a c ase of the mon d a ys
.
Adler: Is something burning?
Graves: Just my love for you. (/j)
Adler: Graves, the toaster is on fire.
.
Adler: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Graves, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Graves: Hey, look, it's efficient!
Adler: No the FUCK it's not.
Adler: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Graves: Adler, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
Graves: Are you an 'arr' pirate or a 'yo ho ho' pirate?
Adler: I'm a 'I'm not paying $600 for photoshop' pirate.
#vladimir makarov#call of duty mw3#cod mw3#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod bo2#raul menendez#call of duty black ops 2#gabriel rorke#call of duty ghosts#russell adler#call of duty black ops cold war#phillip graves#cod mw2
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Pjo incorrect quotes #2
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: I have a black belt
Annabeth: In what, karate?
Percy: No, from Gucci
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: Am I going too far?
Annabeth: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you're going to jail
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: You saved me. I owe you my life
Annabeth: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works
Annabeth, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis
Annabeth: You're like 15 years old
Percy: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: Am I in trouble?
Annabeth: Take a guess
Percy: No?
Annabeth: Take another guess
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: It's dark in here
Annabeth: Don't worry dude, I got this
Annabeth: *Stomps her feet*
Annabeth: *Sketchers light up*
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: If there's a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back
Annabeth: Of course, I can't flip this table by myself
~~~~~~~~~~
Annabeth: You're right
Percy: That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: You kill people for money?!
Annabeth: I can explain
Percy: And all this time I've been doing it for free like a chump!
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: Jail is no fun
Annabeth: Oh, you've been?
Percy: Once, in monopoly
~~~~~~~~~~
Grover: I love you guys, you're the best thing thats happened to me
Annabeth: We're the best thing thats ever happened to you?
Grover: Yes!
Percy: I'm starting to feel sorry for you
~~~~~~~~~~
Grover: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Annabeth: Okay, but in my defense, Percy bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo
Grover: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
~~~~~~~~~~
Grover: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold
Annabeth: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big ole house
Percy: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million
Annabeth: Good thinking
Grover: *concerned parent*
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: Do you ever talk about you're emotions, Annabeth?
Annabeth: No
Grover: I do!
Percy: I know, Grover
Grover: I'm sad
Percy: I know, Grover
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy: Annabeth and I don't use pet names
Grover: What do bees make?
Percy: Honey?
Annabeth: Yes dear?
Percy:
Grover: Don't ever lie to my face again
~~~~~~~~~~
Percy, in a high voice, holding barbie: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting career!
Annabeth, in a deep voice, holding ken: Nonsense Babrbie, you're staying home and having my kids
Grover: What the crap are you guys doing?
Percy: Playing systematic oppression
~~~~~~~~~~
Grover: Annabeth, keep an eye on Percy today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched
Annabeth: Sure, I would love to see Percy get punched!
Grover: Try again
Annabeth, sighing: I will stop Percy from getting punched
~~~~~~~~~~
#pjo fandom#pjo incorrect quotes#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#Percy&Annabeth&Grover
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Dylan Hollis Baking Quotes Without Context Part 5
"Come to think of it I’ve never really thought about what’s in ranch, perhaps out of fear."
"You know I once watched a friend of mine eat a whole bottle of ranch with his pizza." “Yeah he’s in prison now,"
"Forsaken by parsley,"
"I’m serious, don’t disrespect the Irish, they can be mean."
"And half a cup of wheat germ, oh no."
"The wheat germ just needs to swell up like an infection, soaks up the butter and everyone's happiness."
"These taste like a damp park bench."
"I’ve been told to keep this in the fridge so it stays disgusting for longer."
"So these were a part of America’s K rations, think of them as dystopian lunch boxes."
"Why would someone put bread crumbs in cookie dough? It could be because of like illicit substances, psychiatric disturbances, being held at gun point, these types of things."
"So I’ve actually already taken a dump in this kitchen before."
"Today 's dump requires the use of a can opener, rather painful condition."
"Ow, ow! It’s got ranged attacks!"
"What, you never put cereal into a blender before? Call yourself a chef?"
"Now if you’ve never had a prune, good, best not to engage with the enemy."
"Uncooked whips such as these were very popular in the twenties, alongside dysentery."
"I’ll tell you cheese makes everything better, except car accidents. Trust me I’ve tried, the police got very mad."
"I’m going to hemorrhage."
"I don’t know what a firm ball is but they should probably see a doctor."
"Last instruction is a simple one but a little bit barbaric." slams hammer on counter
"So if you’re allergic to peanuts it’s hell of a way to go out."
"Get some rolos," drops them "throw them on the floor."
"Thank you, I would hate to have an uneven disaster"
"Thank you dead lady,"
"Haven't a clue of what this is, it could be spoons made of bread or bread made of spoons."
"What do we bake this in, I have no idea, it could be a shoe for all I know."
"I’m baking soup."
"Tastes like itchy milk."
"I can feel my teeth falling out of my face right now."
"This tastes like a scented candle,"
"I know people taste test these things, do taste testers eat candles?"
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Quote book
(These will be updated as more come, & these will be out of context soooo enjoy :)"
"Humans went from worshiping the moon to walking on it"
"The 80's was full of sapphics"
"Ok Mom let's go watch traumatized children"
"The group of kids that are called...they don't have a name...& the science project"
"Because yoouu my dear bitch boy, are TRIPPING BAAAALLLLSS"
"Did you just slap me with that arm?"
"Haha, yeah, I'm not doing ok"
"If in doubt, use your mouth"
"Hands are for LOSERS, I like to use my mouth"
"Even if I slightly touch it, it'll pop up again"
"If in doubt, tits out"
"Get slurped IDIOT"
"You're the master sucker"
"Just swallow it"
"It's hard to swallow"
"6 is even longer than 10!"
"I'm a proud bottom!.... Set"
"Don't put it in your mouth!"
"It smelt good so it must taste good right?"
"I sucked all the cream out of it"
"I just shoved the whole thing in my mouth & started choking"
"If I had to choose between having sex or raping you-"
"I'M NOT DOWN BAD FOR THE ROBOT-"
"ROBOT KISSER-"
"I really wanna put it back in, but I'm afraid it won't come back out"
"Just shove your hand in there & pull out a calf/lamb"
"Fuck me with a fork & then shove it down my throat over making me do the math exam"
"You're down bad for the demogorgan, this is not ok"
"Go fuck yourself with a whisk & then choke on it"
"You! You with a finger up your arse-"
"I have balls in my mouth"
"I slurp de bawlls"
"Bigger isn't always better"
"Be careful, the big ones squirt"
"The bigger the better"
"Mine is short & fat, mine is long & thin... mine is just fat"
"Oral sex is more gay?"
"I choke... In a bad way! In a bad way"
"I wanna suck all of them"
"Why is it so small"
"Don't worry, you'll like cum when you're older"
"Eat your cum kids!"
"It's pretty small so I should be able to handle it"
"It's not that big so I should be able to get on top of it"
"There's only 2 things that are worth doing in this life... Making money & murdering ugly people~"
"I'M SO WET!!!"
"Money! Money & cum!~"
"I already gave you a squeeze!"
"You're with me babygirl~"
"I'm tonguen at the tip!"
"In, out, in, out, it's the best way to get all the tasty cream out!"
"I wanna see that long, hard length~"
"I love to suck~"
"I can't suck it well!"
"It's ok, I'm a masochist"
"I've got to stop putting the whole thing in my mouth, or I'll choke"
"A GIRL? WHAT'S A GIRL?"
"Maybe an inch is bigger than we thought?"
"I have no anger, only sadness"
"A knife you American wanker"
"Nothing is too funky"
"MY UTERUS IS COSPLAYING SANS & GIVING ME A BAD TIME"
"CRISPY, JUICY, NICE & TENDER, I JUST PUT MY NEWBORN SON INTO A BLENDER"
"OH BOY, I LOVE COCK"
"Wanna see my poo?"
"You gotta be careful with your wood"
"He did choke the chicken more than the average boy-"
"I'm like deliveroo except I'm GAY-"
"I can't- FUCK-"
"You ever just get smacked in the face by some wood & you just lose all sense of direction?"
"I need to- FUCK-"
"If you could call self-abuse absolutely smanging that thang as hard as he did, then yeah Father, I'd say he abused himself pretty frequently, in public & often-"
"Oh! yeah, he's hard-"
"I think.. I'm ready to come on the page-"
"You taught me I could be horny with my art-"
"I am selling dick pics online Miss. Baffy"
"Just pull it out"
"You know that his jaw hurt after that"
"I'm gonna fill you-"
"I'm gonna fill you with my British juices"
"This is the first time I've felt this way with a man!"
"C'MON, PUT YOUR FINGERS IN HER- I MEAN PUT YOUR FINGERS IN THEM"
"I didn't want them boiled alive, I wanted them raw!"
"Don't put it in your mouth, I've already put it in mine!"
"If I can't be a Siamang ape, then what's the point in anything?"
"I'm a feeble boy, there's only so much meat I can handle"
"Sorry about sending you the hot dragon from Shrek. Are you a communist btw?"
"I'm gonna flash you-"
"Mr.[name] didn't want it because it was too small"
"Everyone needs holes!"
"It feels like grating foot cheese-"
"I wish I could read-"
"Mmm yummy feet"
"Hi Alexander, I'm Carl-"
"CUMCUMCUM-"
"I'm a lesbian *in the tune of Jurassic Park*"
"Suck my Richard-"
"WHERE'S CUM?-"
"There's only 3 ingredients; chocolate, nuts & the virus-"
"This is my hole, this hole is mine, this hole was made for me-"
"I'm bricked up motherfucker-"
"*Holding a concrete block* this'll be a tool for later-"
"I'm crafting your cock-"
"That's right [name] I turned your dick into gun-"
I'm going to go masturbate-"
"UH, UH, CUMZINGA?"
"Tell me Gerald, do you prefer the four iron, or the foreskin?"
"We need to feed this meaty boy to the gooby gooby goobers"
"They call me the brick because I'm so hard"
"What are you doing stepbro?~"
"Yeah, just stick something in there."
"Sorry mate, I kidnapped her."
"I DONT HATE GAYS YOU BULGARIAN ASS WIPE, I DO IN FACT LOVE AND ACCEPT MEMBERS OF THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY, YOU COCKSUCKING DICKWAD!!!!!!"
"You just put your fingers in it."
"I'm a lamp post :D."
"I'll meet your mother later!"
"Bye, I'm kidnapping her-"
"*While wagging ☝* don't hump little girls!"
"Have you sex?"
"No I have not sex, that's a little bit illegal :D"
"You have lost you penis"
"Don't fuck moms at school!"
"This server was made for me- *dies immediately*"
"Be gay, do drugs, hail Satan"
"Hail gay, be drugs, do Satan-"
"P1: It's so long, P2: that's what she said-"
"P1: What's something you have that I want?, P2: divorced parents-"
"I'm in a cat"
"Oh by the way, do you want lead poisoning?-"
"I could drink your mom"
"I'm thirsty for your mom"
"I could drink 80% of your mom"
"I'm going to CHOKE you in a way you WON'T like"
"Oh I'm just milking you-"
"I'm throwing balls"
"Milk them tiddies~"
"I don't look at a 10 year old boy & go "heyyyy baby boyyyyy~" *while lip-biting*"
"You really showed me every inch, didn't you?"
"Last week you beat my meat, this week we're putting these nuts in your mouth."
"Go on my tongue, goddamit!"
"I woke up to banging"
"I woke up to my step-dad banging"
"I would never come"
"P1: WELL, I CAN EAT YOUR BALLS, P2: She doesn't have any, P1: THAT'S BECAUSE I ATE THEM, P3: give them back :("
"Last week I forced you to eat my balls, this week we're beating the meat."
"Don't talk, just suck"
"Get me some tissues, some paper towels & some lube-"
"I was pretty good I got a lot of head....... Shots."
"God, I'm gay for a femboy."
"You get a video of someone being inside you like you've never had before"
"I've lost the moon."
"I've got 3 fists & 3 feet."
"I've eaten all the silicone."
"[NAME] STOP EATING SILICONE!"
"That's another place where I lost my virtual virginity."
"I'm scissoring you."
"You guys are going to moan like crazy."
"Hide your balls."
"Damn fluttershy, looking THICK, smash"
"Ok guys, let’s take off our clothes so we’re ready for the next round."
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My thoughts on season 3 of Never Have I Ever
SPOILERS AHEAD !
* author's note : it's long what can you do, i have an obsessive personality
• Things I disliked in no particular order
1. The pacing of this season.
The pacing of this season
The pacing-
I don't know what happened this season but it felt like someone pushed my head into a blender. Many things were so glossed over, I was actually baffled. People kept getting into relationships and breaking up like it was nothing and all sense of direction was lost. Everything felt like a fever dream. Ben and Aneesa break up. She cries one time, kisses Fabiola and now they are in a relationship only for that to not work out and Fabiola gets into another relationship (at this point i forgot Eve existed). No one reacts to anything, things just happen so there is no chance for the viewers to get attached to any new storylines/couples. Just borderline bad writing in terms of pacing.
2. What they've done to Aneesa's character
At the end of the show, the person I felt bad for the most was Aneesa. The writers just would not give her a chance. She wasn't a real character. She barely had any personality beyond being a plot device for multiple characters and getting into meaningless relationships every 5 minutes (the show does have a problem with doing this to all characters tbh). I wanted to know Aneesa better (I hoped for a pov episode) but all I've got was her getting left for another person in not one but TWO relationships? And they made her kinda not even care about it. It just wasn't realistic and I hated it.
3. Des.
Listen, I don't have anything against his character. Because his character doesn't exist. Des got, as well as all the new characters - Aneesa'd. His sole purpose was to give Devi an Indian boyfriend (which is fine). But he was just so.....unnecessary?? I'm sorry but while watching every scene him and Devi shared, I was begging for literally any other character to show up. Same with his two friends (extras) that had about two lines each. His and Devi's relationship, in my opinion would've been just fine as a fling not a real relationship. And it lasted SO. FUCKING. LONG. Why, just why were they wasting time (that could have been given to flesh out old characters) on something everyone and their mother KNEW wouldn't work out or have any meaningful addition to the show. Other things got sidelined, that's why I hated this storyline.
4. And save the worst for last. All of Devi's romantic relationships in s3
Oh God, here we go.
I understand that Devi is a teen girl that just wants to date boys, have fun, be in love. I really do. But as writers, it is the nhie showrunners' job to make this enjoyable for the viewers. And it worked, the past 2 seasons it really did. Team Paxton, team Ben, team Devi.... We've all had something to enjoy. So throwing in another boy - no, two actually (the guitar player she kissed isn't a big part of the show so I don't really care) made me so angry. They've disturbed a sort of a balance between silly/fun the show had with like 3 or 4 love interests all in your face at the same time so they all started to look kinda.... unimportant (except for Ben, but I am biased lol). It looked painfully unrealistic as well.
The show yet again suffered because of its format. you simply can't throw in a bunch of characters in a 30 minute, 10 episode long comedy show and just hope for the best. It felt messy, rushed and fleeting. Like there was no room to breathe, I felt so anxious watching the middle part of the show.
• Things I did like in no particular order
1. The adults' storylines
I found them much more tolerable and cohesive. I am a Nalini stan first and a human second. I just love her. I love watching Poorna be so brilliant in this role. I was thrilled they gave her a friend and quite sad that friend was taken away later on but oh well. Also, possibly my favorite moment in the show was this quote from Nalini : "You are never too much and always enough." This show was the first time I've truly seen my relationship with my own mother represented in a way that isn't black or white and just simple or complicated. For me this scene meant a lot - showing that no matter what may happen, Nalini will always love and support her daughter.
I also liked Kamala's storyline. Tbh I didn't like Prashant all that much. He felt like a more mature Paxton. I'm glad Kamala didn't rush into marriage, especially if it's something she does not want. I really liked the relationship between Kamala and Mr. Kulkarni, I just wish we saw more of them.
2. Trent and Eleanor ??
I totally predicted this!! I said they will be that odd couple that somehow works very well and I was right. They were really entertaining and I'm so glad we get to see more of them.
3. Trent and Paxton ??
I adored Paxton and Trent's friendship. You can tell they love each other in their weird ways. This totally made me like the characters more and I love love LOVE seeing healthy male friendships in media.
4. Paxton
And everybody gasped. (Hell, I gasped, too). Here it comes Paxton/Daxton stans....
I did really like Paxton this season. And he had his moments last season as well, I'll admit that. Is he my favorite character in the show? No. Do I still think he's kinda boring and overrated? Yes. But I did like him. My favorite Paxton moment this season was in the hospital with Ben (as well as his friendship with Ben as a whole). Not only was it very kind of him to stay with Ben and make him feel better, I also loved him admiting he doesn't really know who he is. How incredibly honest of him. I liked that he apologized to all the girls he hurt and that he was friends with Haley again. I also loved him telling Devi she can't love anyone until she loves herself (someone's been reading my posts 👀). He finally started to care about things (school) and even if his storyline is a simple one, it worked. I'm glad he grew as a person. For me, Paxton finally became a full-fledged character with a unique storyline. It took only 3 seasons but we got there.
5. Benjamin Gross
I could write novels about Ben Gross. I could write about him until my hands hurt and then some more. He is easily one of my, if not my favorite fictional character of all time. He is one of the few characters that, in my opinion, isn't written in an episodic way. Jaren Lewison has this great ability to carry all of Ben's emotions in his pocket and whip out what he needs in a scene with such ease. The character doesn't forget his lessons, he remembers his past feelings and what they taught him which makes him develop and make progress so naturally within the show. Ben Gross isn't just a douche at the beginning of season 1 and a nice guy at the end of season 3. You can see all of his flaws as well as how caring and emotionally intelligent he is at the same time throughout the entire show. I'm so happy he learned to relax and not care as much about grades.
This kinda falls under Ben, but just 3x06 being the best episode (with the finale) for me. I don't know what kind of crack Mindy Kaling puts in the Ben episodes but she gets is right every damn time. Those 4 words being "I'm proud of you" from his dad made me so emotional. I wouldn't want them to be anything or for anyone else. Also I fucking loved Ben being into drawing?? We need more of that.
6. Devi Vishwakumar
My girl. I really liked Devi this season. I loved how they showed she's still grieving. Maitreyi's performance in the scene when Paxton tells her she doesn't love herself yet was so heartbreakingly beautiful. She knew he was right. Also can we talk about the best version of Devi aka post time jump Devi??? I love that girl! You can really tell she matured quite a bit. She's not as hot headed anymore. The only "bad" thing she did was throwing that book or whatever it was in the trash and honestly...? I didn't see how that was such a big deal at all. And the other team kinda cheated, too. Who cares? They're not in a courtroom. I really hope that in season 4 we see her growing even more.
7. The whole gang
One thing I also liked was that everyone was friends with everyone this season. We saw the Paxton-Trent-Eleanor group, Paxton and Ben's friendship, Paxton and Fabiola, Ben-Devi-Fabiola and so on.... I reallllly liked the different dynamics.
8. Ben & Devi
And finally - this is what (some of) you have been waiting for. As you can see the pacing and new characters really messed with how much I loved (or rather didn't) this season. But honestly, now that I had time to think about it, the character development and just the finale really saved the whole season for me. And yes, this includes Ben and Devi. This season we've seen Ben and Devi be mostly, friends. They didn't share many moments until the last few episodes which did frustrate me but that is exactly what made all of them feel so special later on. It was important for them to not spend as much time together then slowly be close friends for the finale we got. I really wasn't expecting it. For all my criticisms about the writing not being the best in some aspects of the show, the writers did such a good job with their storyline and it's safe to say that s3 is my favorite when it comes to them.
Last season we've only seen hints of them pining for each other. This season they were much more honest and comfortable with each other. I cannot stop thinking about how perfectly their little romance was sprinkled over the seasons, with season one's introduction and teasing of their feelings, season two's big conflict and hurt and finally season three's rekindling of feelings and big realizations. None of their storyline felt like sudden big explosions (like with Paxton), just a natural evolution of caring for each other. A sign that it wasn't just a crush (quick and overwhelming) but a first love kind of a situation. Realistic, messy, beautiful, simple. There isn't a doubt in my mind that these two will end up together in some way at the end of season 4. Truly one of my favorite on screen couples all thanks to the brilliant and talented Jaren and Maitreyi.
Overall, I still think the show's best season is season 1. It was almost perfectly set up. However, in terms of characters and our main couple, I have to say season 3 feels the most open, vulnerable and grown up. The last episode felt super special and teased season 4 in which we will see the gang prepare for college. I have huge expectations for season 4 and I really think it could be one of the best ones (best one?), but who knows...
Maybe I'm just a sucker for closures.
Also, I can't believe the finale??? Like they were evil evil for that one, not letting us see what happens! On the other hand I can't be mad bc as a writer that is such a me thing to do. Like, I can totally see myself be that much of an asshole and sadist so I kinda get it. Idk what I will do until s4.
#never have i ever season 3#never have i ever#nhie#nhie spoilers#never have i ever netflix#devi vishwakumar#nalini vishwakumar#kamala nandiwadal#ben gross#fabiola torres#eleanor wong#paxton hall yoshida#trent harrison#aneesa qureshi#des nhie#benvi#can't believe i've been with this show for almost 3 years#i criticize it a lot but it really is very special to me and i do love it a lot#will be so sad when it's all over
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bullet train as random quotes from me/my friends. an uneeded post no one asked for, made anyways for all to see.
Ladybug: Oh, how the turns table; I forgot what a syllable is.
Lemon: I played 'POV: you're a roach in my house' with Tangerine once.
Tangerine: Lemon, I said I didn't want to talk about that.
Maria: No, it is not comfortable, I think his head is sliding off-- WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THE FLUTE AND OFFERING MILK TO A DEAD MAN ??
Prince: Time to finish you off!-- Wait, are you dead? Okay, then.
Tangerine: Bitch what?? Are you trying to make me jump??
The Wolf: WHY IS THERE WHEAT HERE?? WHAT IS HAPPENING. IS THIS A SIGN TO START DOING MARIJUANA. BECAUSE SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL. [starts singing 'We Don't Talk About Bruno']
Hornet: And then Deadpool is like, "Have you seen Hamilton?"
Ladybug: Why do you keep trying to indoctrinate me into stuff, man?
The Son: I once named a chicken 'Prince' then buried it alive.
Yuchi: Yeah, no, this doesn't make jackshit for sense.
Prince: Apparently I have no conscious. Oh well.
Ladybug: Wait, why did we divorce--?
Hornet: THEY'RE GONNA PUT GOD IN A BLENDER.
Prince: Close the door it helps close the trauma.
Ladybug: If you close the door, it keeps the trauma inside you.
Prince: No, we push the trauma OUTSIDE the door then close it.
Ladybug: So we're pushing the trauma outside so other people have to deal with it?
Prince: Yes. It's their problem now.
Yuichi: Whole time, I'm just sat here thinking, 'What the actual fuck does this mean?'
Maria: Oh no. He's getting chased by an amputated barbecue man.
Ladybug: That's your brother?.. He's a bit fucked up.
Hornet: Your internet is shite lmao
#bullet train#tangerine bullet train#ladybug bullet train#lemon bullet train#the prince bullet train#maria beetle#the wolf bullet train#the elder bullet train#yuichi kimura#shigeru kimura#the hornet bullet train#the son bullet train#there is no explaining any of this#wtf
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You are so right Tom Ripley is what you would get if you put Draco Malfoy and Tom Riddle in a blender lmao a well seasoned taco if you will 🌮
Sorry to bring the 1999 film to you awareness…I’ve almost finished the series and am debating checking out the film but the vibes seem a little off. Is it at all worth watching? It seems weirdly sappy and generally off brand for the source material
Tl;dr a bad adaptation but a... good film? According to people that aren't massive haters (ie. NOT me).
TALENTED MR RIPLEY SPOILERS FORTHCOMING
It's... the kind of film that is good if you're watching it without having read (and liked) the source material. Sort of like Kubric's The Shining. A lot of people enjoyed it, including people who have read the book, so bear that in mind. I tend to have extremely strong opinions on most things so you may still enjoy it but I loathed it lol. Brevity is not my strength so this is going to be long, sry.
You can read the following quote from the director and see if you want to see an adaptation of Ripley by someone with this opinion:
A legitimate gripe that fans of the novel might voice is that I entirely missed the point of the book, because the book celebrates an amoral central character who gets away with murder and doesn't seem to suffer for it. And part of the fun of the novel is that he doesn't seem to care. [...] You know that he'll have no remorse about killing other people to get what he wants. And there's a kind of glee in seeing him do it. But it's not a glee that I wanted to transform into the film, partly because of the nature of the way you experience film. But, if that's my technical position, it's also my moral position. I don't want to tell a story about a man who gets away with murder and doesn't care. It doesn't interest me.
Minghella
Sorry, but WHY did you adapt RIPLEY if that was how you felt about the source material. Tom is a deeply sensitive, emotional person, but also a stone-cold psychopath who not only doesn't feel remorse—bar brief moments of clarity—but also believes he's entirely morally justified in his crimes.
Minghella's adaptation manages to be both less progressive and less nuanced than the 1955 book, despite being made almost half a century later. It is also less true to the essence of the book than the French 1960 adaptation, Plein Soleil, despite that film being beholden to the standards and censorship of the mid-20th century. Minghella's film is, I think, a great demonstration of why the American audience on the whole never 'got' Highsmith. She was always far more popular in Europe and I do believe that is because your standard American audience couldn't handle the moral ambiguity of her books.
There's a lot you can read into with TTMR but, to me, the book has always primarily been about class, not sexuality. It has more in common with a film like Parasite than Brokeback Mountain or Maurice. Tom is the American Dream taken to its perverse extreme—a ruthless, ambitious, dishonest character who will do anything to get ahead in a world stacked against him. The class element is near completely erased from the Minghella film, with the focus instead on Dickie as some sort of manic pixie dream girl who Tom stumbles into the thrall of and becomes infatuated and obsessed with to the point of snapping and killing him when he rejects Tom's feelings. Yes, Minghella managed to play into every homophobic stereotype out there by depicting Tom as an explicitly homosexual character and... a violent incel who can't take a hint.
In contrast, book Dickie is stunningly mediocre to the point of being an embarrassment to Tom, far from Jude Law's character. If anything, Tom is the one who brings excitement into Dickie's life . Minghella's Ripley is a shy, ungainly nerd; Highsmith's Ripley has his clumsy moments—certainly never managed to win Marge over lol—but is a capable, charismatic and driven person in his own right.
E Shannon's paper 'Where was the sex?' does a better job of discussing the altered interpretation of Ripley than I can. I've linked SciHub as it's locked behind institution login on JSTOR.
Highsmith certainly explores sexuality with great sophistication, but ultimately sexuality remains subtext in the novel, while it dominates the film. To pursue its concerns, Minghella's film revises the novel's characters and invents others, all with the aim of redefining Tom Ripley for a Hollywood audience. Minghella's Tom is first and foremost a gay man besieged by a hostile, straight world and only secondarily an American social climber on the hunt in Europe. Ironically, Minghella's focus on Tom's "taboo" homosexuality leads to a story that is less-not more-subversive than Highsmith's, whose critique of American ideas of class is lost to the film's paradoxically conventional sexual conflicts. In fact, in one sense, the film altogether inverts the sexual context of the novel. Where the novel uses Tom's sexuality to critique contemporary ideas of class, the film uses Tom's class to critique contemporary ideas of sexuality. Highsmith's Tom Ripley is a diabolical "culmination of the American success ethic" (Cochran 162), while Minghella's Tom Ripley is a misunderstood casualty of sexual bigotry and provincialism and a victim of his own frustrated sexual desire.
And also:
Minghella's audience is encouraged to criticize the monolithic presence of the "straight culture" and sympathize with Tom's dilemma, while Highsmith's readers are asked to consider aspects of culture beyond gay or straight sexual identity. For Minghella, Tom is either gay or straight. Either Dickie loves Tom or he loves Marge. The complex, sometimes asexual relationships of the 1950s novel are replaced with the simpler, blunter sexual truths of 1990s Hollywood, where "homosexual" is becoming almost as normalized as "heterosexual."
They also make a good point about Dickie being arguably closer implied to being a closeted gay man than Tom, which is actually quite a depressing thought. You can understand why he chooses estrangement from his family with that interpretation. Also, his assertion that Tom is in love with Dickie's material possessions, rather than him as a person is something I agree with. Tom doesn't miss Dickie after he dies, because he views Dickie as the sum of his parts—those being his signet ring, his fancy watches, his shiny cufflinks and his nice shoes. Again, deranged <3
Ultimately, I don't believe that even the shadow of a character like Ripley can be adapted to the screen. Dostoevsky being a major influence of Highsmith's is no surprise. Tom reads a lot like one of his rambling, neurotic characters, his inner dialogue being his most critical, defining feature, and not one that can be brought to the screen. Still, Minghella doesn't even try lol. I hate it.
#minghella - ie. 1999's puriteen#“how can i make a film about a guy who doesn't feel bad abt committing murder?? :(((”#- man who signed on to make film about a guy who doesn't feel bad abt committing murder#asks#anon#the talented mr ripley#long post#sorry but if we're talking sexuality... tom ripley is asexual#i could elaborate on that but feel like im getting off-topic lol
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