#why am i going thru it rn

[elliebell77]

i think underfell papyrus pretends to like wine. Like, he’ll be sitting there in his little villain chair with his wine glass in one hand and petting his cat in the other but the wine glass is actually red fanta and the evil chair is actually an office chair. Also he forgot his villain monologue so now he’s just staring you with this deer in the headlights look as he tries to remember and you just play along because you feel kinda bad for this dude at this point

#why did i post this #underfell #underfell papyrus #going thru it rn #my brain is rotted #i am so glad nobody follows me so i dont have to be held accountable for my obsession

[thisloev]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[stuckinapril]

loving the therapy vibes u have planned and i have 1 single piece of advice for u: the things you truly, sincerely, DONT want to say out loud, are the most important to say ❤️

got it, thank u so much my divine angel <3 i do have an issue w obscuring the ugliest things out of fear of judgment or being misunderstood, but if she's as good as my friend says she is she'll hopefully see through that and help me navigate it. i'm rly excited :)

#it'll also always hold true that the ppl i met thru tumblr will alwaysss be my first therapists omg #i remember being 19/20 & CONFUSED & coming here to talk ab emotional things and the ppl on here had so many helpful takes and perspectives #i always say this. and it's true. that tumblr houses many gargoyles who j want to make people feel bad #but i've also met some of the most incredible people ever on here and i am so grateful #def going to therapy a much more mature me than i would've if i didn't have this silly blog to dump my feelings on #also so many people in my life r on borrowed time rn <3 i'm trying to gain the clarity to see whos's worth keeping around #the first time i seriously considered therapy was when a few anons sent me their experiences w it #which helped destigmatize it a lot in my head and that's why i even took the plunge #am i too attached to my anons? yes. is it unhealthy? also yes. will i ever stop? unlikely. #we'll see IDK i'm saying sm but i'm very emotional and insane and can never shut the fuck up #🫂🤗🥰💕🫶

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

SENDING MY FIRST ASK FROM THE NEW BLOG!!!! i feel like i am sending a letter from a new address... crazy. ANYWAY HOW R U TONIGHT!!!! i hope ur havin a good day!!!! kicking my feet like a teenager at a sleepover rn tell me abt ur day who r the blorbos in ur mind rn what kinda art r u workin on lately how's it going friend!!!

HIIIIIII HI HI . HELLO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG- i mean catboy cellbit!!! . dude i am. dreading the coming week tbh but it is fine !! we will get thru it we will survive!!! i am so sleepytired but alas i also cannot sleep so i may just have another night of reading and music ahead of me . wah. i hope u are hsving a good night <3 IVE BEEN COMPLETELY ART NERFED TOO BTW. my laptop died on me a couple days ago and while i was able to find a new one affordably it will not be here until the 13th 😔 so no digital art from me for a while. sigh. i DID just decorate my new sketchbook with stickers tho so im hoping that will get my brain in gear for traditional art again. AS FOR BLORBOS. oh . u know. the usuals. vash the stampede. zacharie from off . masky marblehornets (also tim marblehornets) . to name three of them.

#who are ur blorbos rn. i dont watch qsmp i think sering ur posts abt it are really funny bc im like. guy walks into the room on fire gif. #i have no idea whats going on in here congratulations and/or my condolences <3 #thank u thank u i love the sleepover vibes. literally had gossip talk w one of my other friends earlier #(name withheld for reasons but if u see this u know who u are and i love u ) #so the vibes are so correct #i have 2 work tomorrow :( not looking forward 2 that. #however it IS my last day of my long term overnight job which means i will be able to sleep in my own bed tomoerow night. #this is something i have not done for like. close to a month now. whcih is why ive been sleeping so awfully! so hopefully that fixes me #also have. job interview on wednesday for another aquarium place.. #fingers crossed this goes better than my last one but also part of me is kind of hoping it doesnt go well #bc i hate transitional periods and i dont want 2 go thru the moving process again #and i dont want 2 meet a bunch of new ppl all at once again. and do the while job training thing. #alas that is the anxiety talkimg and i do actually want the job bc it would be good for me <3 #sorry it is late and im soooo fucking sleepy so im rambling !!!! do not feel like u have to respond to . gestures vaguely at all that #its blorbo talk time. i desperately want 2 warch more mh right now #however the house im.staying in IS in the middle of the woods and very isolated and i have been so scared and paranoid #so i am OUTTA LUCK sigh. i will simply watch smth silly instead like gg tmph or david attenborough or perhaps spongebob will b on the tv. #asks #friends!!! #false-anachronism #<< oh fuck new url!!! i got like halfway thru typing ur old one before i was like WAIT SHIT.

[harrylights]

ok i just need to write down these whack 1d dreams i’ve had the last couple days

#so two nights ago it was that zayn had a reality dating show and i was ON IT #and the whole time i was like 😭 i’m too gay for this can i leave pls #it was in this place that was both super tropical but also a desert #and zayn INSISTED we keep going on these long ass walks thru the sand i was just like bro can we go back #and he got mad at me when i said i needed to go take a walk to decompress after this story about his ex that he told me #it was so vivid and surreal #but then the dream i just woke up from i was part of 1d in like 2013 era??? #and it was sooo busy so many interviews and a couple fan meeting things #and i was like damn this is exhausting #but also got to see these beaauuutiful places #like one of our hotels was suspended directly over this crystal blue water that had orca swimming thru it and we swam w the orca #and both harry and louis separately plotted w me to pull pranks on each other #harry was also like?? psychic?? like he could send images into everyone’s heads but he only did it w nice things lol #and then randomly at the end he came to work w my at this body jewelry company i used to work for #but like he was still him and on our application form to work there we had to disclose our income for some reason #and on his he was like i’m not telling u this 😐 don’t push it #like w the emoji too fhdhskeldk #but i’m out here like why am i dreaming of these guys even more when i’m taking a break from them #like i still listen to their music ofc but i don’t have the energy to participate in the fandom rn #it’s like they know and they’re like #u thought u could forget about us!!!!! syke bitch we’re haunting ur dreams now <3 #but whatever i’ll take this over the other vivid dreams i’ve been having lately #anyway #rowyn rambles

[hauntingblue]

LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!

#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭 #MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too??? #NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!! #yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything... #i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE???? #is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!! #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1070 #i am smiling so hard rn. contagious #also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success.... #THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying #you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it #hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy #THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!! #the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE #this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!! #they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????! #episode 1071 #momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!! #the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this... #we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members #law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses.. #nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!! #wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk #THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING #FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!! #NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!! #episode 1072

[labratboygirl]

being abnormal about someone i Literally Do Not Even Know again

#it may not sound like it but ACTUALLY this is a vent #favorite creator is absolutely going thru it rn #as soon as i heard i had 2 hold myself back from saying ‘god im gonna kms’ #i Licherally cannot do anything about ti . i Do Not Know Him . #why am i like this #casually spills guts

[wizardnuke]

watching yr younger family get to do things u weren't allowed to do/be treated more kindly than u ever were like. i love you i'd kill to be you i would never want to be you you're never gonna understand. i'm the reason why you get to do that. it's not fair. i hate your parents and my parents too. i love them too. i hate you too. it's not fair. i love you i love you i'm so happy for you i love you i resent you and everyone else involved in all of this. i love you i love you on purpose i am going to love you. you are only ever going to be loved.

#this is fine to rb if u want to. shared experience #i got all the abuse and did all the pushing back so that those kids don't have to i fucking guess. happy to be here. #really glad i got to set the record straight so these kids aren't ever gonna have to go thru what i went through. i love them #i am Nauseous rn #i fought like HELL. for me. not for them. why didn't i get that. that's not fair

[piplupod]

not super important really but man it is frustrating that when i try to find info about how to gain weight back after being underweight, there is only dieting advice on how to lose weight or info about refeeding syndrome which I am not experiencing fhkdsl, nothing much about how to go about gaining weight back in a healthy way (by healthy i just mean like... fixing malnutrition as well as gaining back body fat)

#and no i am not going to touch the kink community for various reasons djdkdl #i have honestly considered going to seek out info thru fetish/kink resources bc I figure they'd have info #but theres various reasons why that wouldnt work for me djdksl #mainly the nutrition aspect bc i am malnourished rn ffjkdl but also other reasons that make it a bad idea for me personally #anyways. fuck diet culture. im annoyed and frustrated #like obviously yeah just eat food but also... i want to try to do things right? its easier if i have guidelines sometimes #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #ed tw #food mention #ask to tag

[takami-takami]

Sorry i've been missing i think about this page every day but i'll be jam packed in my schedule till mid-may when school goes on break. i want to write about hawks' dick to calm down. But i cant. sniffling and crying.

#why oh why #i miss writing about his penis. crying fat tears rn #im kidding btw #or am i #🐇 rambles #ill get to dms as soon as i can too #and i need to go thru and answer everything in my inbox #and possibly post the thirsts in my inbox with keyboard smashing as a response to share it with the masses #eventually #but im busy #i cant rn #sad

[aemiron-main]

reminder that if u hate mike wheeler then will byers hates you 💗

(I don’t mean like affectionate hate I mean like Actual Hate, can’t stand him, using his character as ur punching bag 2 willfully/intentionally misinterpret and wrongfully assign fault to (not that Mike doesn’t have faults, but fault him for the things that Are His Fault not shit that Isn’t) etc like yes Will and Mike have their conflicts but will cares for him SO fucking deeply and does Not Hate Him)

#byler #stranger things #st shitposts #kind of #some of the takes I see abt Mike from time to time just baffle me like What………….. #he’s not some horrible guy trying to intentionally hurt all the people around him as much as possible ffs #literally I am gonna have to start gatekeeping Mike again AND will since clearly ppl are not only in their Mike hater era but also #in their ‘not understanding will’ era like will does not hold some super deep hateful resent towards Mike #like ffs do you think he gave Mike the painting for shits and giggled?? NO!!!! he was trying to reassure Mike and make him feel better bc #HE CARES ABOUT MIKE!!!!! #I’m literally half awake rn but Mike get behind me #like damn some ppl truly do not like it when things like mental illness and the way it presents don’t exactly align with #their own worldview. I’m not saying I’m Right all the time I’m saying that ppl are #willfully making Mike out to be smthn be isnt and intentionally ignoring his struggles #like do u think that will ‘can’t keep his eyes off of mikes plate and keeps staring w concern at every fucking meal’ byers is gonna take #kindly to someone ignoring and erasing mike’s emotions and complexity and struggles?? NO!!! #going thru some of the anons I’ve gotten previously and I’m just like… ???? why do people seem to Want to hate Mike so much

[diabeticgirl4]

More ppl keep quitting at my work and methinks they've all got the right idea

#ignore me #maddie lifeblogs #I got thrown into a diff department w zero training and I'm supposed to be the main go-to person #like. wtf am I supposed to do here and why is everyone throwing things at me like I should know how to do it all #supervisor: oh don't worry it's easy! me: how am I supposed to know what to do w/o any instruction #hhhhh I contemplated quitting a couple months ago and now I regret not following thru #what's funny is the work itself at this department is what I love to do and I wanted to be here ages ago #but this is them tossing me over here w no help or instruction and it's stressing me tf out #the best part is as bad as my mental health is rn I know it's even worse w/o a regular job so :'))))

[curiosity-killed]

Today is not starting off swimmingly I will confess

#9 AM meeting presenting a deliverable I’ve been solo on #teams said fuck you and wouldn’t let me join thru any means until I just gave up and called in #so couldn’t see anyone’s face or share screen #and then the deliverable #which is exactly what the client requested #new contact joined and was like ‘’why are you giving us PEARS I want RAMBUTANS’’ #despite us having been told and repeatedly confirmed that they wanted pears #metaphorically #I am so tired #I hate this contract so much #it’s my second time working with this client and I blamed the other consulting firm last year #but no they are just Like That #personal #my coworker afterwards was like whoa you handled that with such grace #and I was like. u could not see my face. and that is a good thing #mostly bc I had my face buried in my hands but still #anyway. I will go. speed skim a shitty book now #or just fudge my way thru book club and do other work rn #…probs that one

[lunaetis]

me having to wake up at 5AM on a SATURDAY : wHY

#.ooc #[ *screeches into paw* #it's actually for qingming festival #but my family likes to do it VERY early like ... a month before the actual thing #to avoid the crowds & such #SRSLY I AM SO SLEEPY I FEEL HALF DEAD #AFTER A HECTIC WEEK & WORKING THRU WEEKEND LAST WEEK I JUST WANNA SLEEP #i'm only part chinese from both my parents #& the tomb site is like #2-3 hours drive from here #tHAT'S WHY I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY #i'm going to pass out in the car watch me HJKLHLKJH #I FEEL LIKE A ZOMBIE RN ]

[swagyna]

IVE OFFICIALLY REACHED CRINGE LEVELS OF HYPERFIXATION.

#someone help #i dont wanna spend hours looking at mercy #why did it have to be a TCG?? WHY. #W H Y #i need me some blue eyes cards. a dark magician and dmg. and dmoc #i think. THINK i have at least 2 blue eyes #pretty sure they're first editions #i am going to force myself to not look thru my cards rn though #no wait im going to

[so0ppa]

probably gonna be a bit more inactive, this "period" stuff kicking my ass

#every month ill mentally go thru like a downwards spiral where i get incredibly depressed and anxious and isolate myself and do nothing but #watch YouTube videos and sleep #and im like uahhh what is up with me why am i this way rn #and then during it or a day or few after i start bleeding and getting cramps and I'm like right that makes sense of course #this happens every month i feel like im stupid for not ever remembering #cw periods #tw periods #or whatever idk #critxt