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#who knows its all pretty far anyway
crunchchute · 2 months
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i know nobody wants to hear about my self insert bs but i had like 2 main storylines clashing so hard in my brain to the point i gave up on them cause one was in the 80s in game storyline and other in like 90s with tse dave and my mind just wanted both at once and merge them but it just did not work at all so those braincells died off. now the tse one picked up again after finishing the book but i miss the game one even if it was cheesy and unoriginal. a mans gotta do what hes gotta do (make up self insert stories in his head every day before bed) (dont read the tags its info that should only have been shared by me being waterboarded)
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spider-man-2o99 · 11 months
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hehee.i unnersand it all now.
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tinylittlebab · 1 year
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ill be skinny. it will happen. ive been trying for so long now. once it was just trying to eat less and be smaller but not much real focus on my physical appearance. now its all about that. 11 years of my ed and 7 years of wanting what i want now. i dont live with my parents anymore. i have more control. i will achieve it.
there was a time where id eat 300-700 consistently. ill get that back. i will.
#most of the years ive had an ed i had no access to a scale so it was very jard to track progress#maybe i did lie my ass off and fool ppl around me into thinking its actually healthier for me to have a scale bc ill restrict worse without#one which is half true. not that kts anyones right to make that choice at this point. at least not in 2 months when im 18 its not#part of the problem im having is i wanna be small but i have so little muscle that ill have to be very dangerously underweight to look even#close to how i want. many peoples ugws are under that line. mine was once. before i learned that its genuinely very very dangerous#and a lot of the people who look the way i wanna look are only just below that line which is where id like to be#they look that way bc they have more muscle. most ppl cant maintain a bmi of 14 or less for that long. eventually your body freaks out#ppl use instances like eugenia coonie as proof that you can actually do it but like. most peoples bodies wont hold out that long#and many of the ppl in thinspo pics eother only maintained it for a short bit before gaining or getting really sick or they weighed more#and had more muscle. and like. my goal isnt to be all bone. i dont wanna push it that far. bony people arent physically nice to hold anyway#i just wanna be light enough that somwone cpuld carry me and people might view me in a certain way#i wanna be seen as cute and fragile and shy and like. young and sweet. ots hard to explain exactly what i want peopel see see me like but i#want when people look at pictures or videos of me for them to think i look sweet and wanna be gantle and nice to me#and when i walk around places instead of seeing an awkward weirdo they see a timid cute girl whos really tiny and pretty#i know ill never be that but. maybe if i lose enough weight and dont have much acne and leave my hair down then maybe i can come close
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thesnacken · 4 months
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Uhhhhhhh
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wymgreenteam · 10 months
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wip wfriday
i am incapable of consuming media without inserting my blorbos into it. this is the product of that. to preserve my dignity i will be staying silent on what i have binged three seasons of in the past two days that has brought this idea to life.
(~900 words under the cut, jack/nico, fantasy au? kind of? but not a lot of fantasy in this scene and by not a lot i mean there are only vague references to it)
“I am from the North,” Jack argues.
“You are not from my north,” Nico roars. “You know nothing of my people. You come and ask for help without knowing what you’re asking for.”
“Then tell me the price I must pay!” Jack steps forward. “Tell me this truth that you’ve been so afraid of saying since I brought my men up this mountain. I’m not green enough to think that you’ve been transparent.”
Nico’s expression fills with agony as he turns away, pacing. “The Brotherhood acts on a collective purpose. If one is brave or stupid enough to ask for our swords to be turned against their enemies, then they must give back to even the scales.”
Jack rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “I know all of this. I’ve heard stories since I was a boy. Just tell me what’s required. Is it blood? Is it my blood? Why are you so—” Jack wants to accuse him of being evasive, but there’s a flash of fear in Nico’s eyes that makes Jack hesitate.
Nico stops, facing away. He bows his head. “The Brotherhood has rules, Jack,” he says. “If those within are bound to your cause, you must be bound to ours.”
Jack throws his hands up, irritation bubbling in his throat. “That’s it?”
“What—” Nico turns, confusion marring his handsome face. “What do you mean ‘that’s it?’ Do you not understand?”
“I understand perfectly well. I serve with the Brotherhood as the price. So be it. What I don’t understand is why you are so adamantly against me doing just that. Have I not proven myself thrice-over? Does the Commander of the Brotherhood not deem me worthy to be among his ranks?” Jack storms over, pushing at Nico’s shoulder, fingers inadvertently sinking into the soft furs on his cloak. Nico goes nowhere, sturdy as the mountain they reside in, his expression unreadable once more. “
“The Brotherhood has rules, Jack!” Nico repeats, more desperate this time.
“Then tell me!” Jack grits. “Let me decide what price is too steep to pay.”
Nico makes this frustrated noise and shakes his head. “I cannot— The Oath is sacred—”
“Do you see anyone here taking an oath? No? Good. Neither do I.” Jack walks away so he can stand at the edge of the council’s table, leaning against it and crossing his arms, expectant. He isn’t sure what he’d do if he remained close to Nico, and he doubts the consequences would be worth it. “Tell me what I’m getting myself into, and if I’ll have to run from this mountain with my people at dawn because I’m supposed to burn them all as an offering to your gods.” He takes a moment to calm himself down before adding, “Not as a son of the Valkyrie, not as a person of my House, but as the man whose life you’ve saved and the man who has saved your life in return. As an ally, as a friend, I’m asking for your honesty.”
Nico is quiet for a long moment, standing tall, the glint of the Commander’s brooch flickering gold in the torchlight. His hair falls over his forehead and his unkempt scruff covers the wound on his cheek, the angles of his face softened from their usual severity as he looks at Jack with those kind eyes. The wrinkles at the corners speak not of his age but of his humor, of his smile, of the dip in his cheek when Jack says something to make him laugh. He’s never bothered to ask, but he’s certain Nico can’t be much older than Jack himself. Perhaps born in the Dark Winter like Quinn, just before Jack’s birth coincided with the start of the Seven-Year Summer.
Jack’s seen him many ways in their shared time, but never has he seen Nico be conflicted like this. He’s always been a man who knows his path and his purpose, steady and strong in the decisions he makes, as a Commander should be. He looks to fight with himself now, opening and closing his mouth several times before he finally settles on the words he wishes to speak.
“The Brotherhood requires that you give yourself to us wholly. You may have no brothers but the ones who fight beside you. You may sire no children.”
“I don’t need to have children, if that’s the price—”
“You must renounce your family and your House. You cannot see them for the rest of your days.” Nico starts taking slow, measured paces forward as he speaks. “You no longer serve under your banner and you must discard your sigil. You’ll take up the Silver Eagle as your own, like you never knew any other.” He lands just in front of Jack, the tips of their boots nearly touching. Jack tilts his chin up to meet Nico’s eyes.
“Nico—”
“You can have no love, Jack,” he murmurs, reaching to cup Jack’s cheeks in his warm, calloused palms. “There can be no intersection of duty and love where you may be forced to choose a direction other than that of the Brotherhood. Duty must prevail. To our brothers, to our banner, to our purpose.”
Jack raises a brow. “Good thing I’m not your brother then.”
Nico kisses the smile right off of Jack’s face.
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anotherpapercut · 6 months
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people acting like there isn't still very much an active stigma against cannibas and cannibas users is going to be my joker origin story
when i go to the doctor they still put cannibas use under the tab "substance abuse". not even just substance use. it is fully assumed that people who use cannabis, even as a prescription medication, are abusing it. just because you're friends with a couple of dumbass stoners doesn't mean that we've abandoned the idea as a culture that weed is a bad and scary and dangerous and highly addictive drug that will ruin your life if you use it once
#idk what its like in other countries but in the us and especially in red states fear mongering about weed is alive and well#'it ruins lives' -direct quote from a library board member making it so we can be fired for testing positive even w a prescription#i just take umbrage with posts about addiction that go out of their way to mention weed which we all learned in 6th grade is addictive#but dont also mention that this true of all prescription drugs and that a person can be dependant on a drug for health reasons???#yeah i get anxious and cant go a day without weed. because i use it to treat my anxiety and pain. i also get anxious without my wellbutrin#but people arent lining up to make posts about it?? and like you CAN obviously become addicted to prescription drugs its super common!#so i kind of feel like it would be far more useful to say 'this is true of ALL drugs. including weed caffeine and prescriptions'#you should always research ANY drug you take. prescription or not. find out about addictiveness + side effects + other drug interactions#and you should talk to someone if you feel anxious about your relationship to drugs. prescription or not#there have been many times where i was prescribed way too many drugs at once and it made me feel anxious and uncomfortable#so i talked to my doctors and consolidated several and it actually made them work a lot better#locked reblogs because i KNOW people are going to read this is 'so you should never ever talk about negative consequences of weed'#and im pretty sure the people who follow me will be able to understand thats obviously not what im saying#but as soon as it leaves my blog whos to say. but anyway like. I think we should talk more about addiction to all substances#and not just the ones that were already covered in DARE#I feel like at this point everybody has heard all of the negative possibilities with weed use at least once#and that's not necessarily true of caffeine and even like. benadryl lmfao#I might delete this in 10 minutes if I psych myself out akbdjznsjf
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bi-demon-ium · 1 year
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do you ever wonder, even with how fucked up it already is, if milligan sanitized his story for the kids
#on one hand show curtain seems a lot more....#less the type to straight up torture? like his reaction to the straitjackets and all#he's the more type to convince himself he's doing them a kindness#even as what he's doing is actually arguably worse#but its like. you know. mental manipulation/brainwashing.#ANYWAY but like on the other hand#a) whatever the case unless milligan is lying/exaggerating which seems very unlikely to me#milligan WAS tied up and interrogated--could be like hildegarde billingsley not too alarming right?--BUT#he was also hit/beaten#and 'what do you remember? what do you remember?' while being hit is pretty different than the interrogation of hildegarde who was all#loopy. and plus their techniques have probably developed and smoothed out over the past decade#b) i have this little idea in my head that i havent properly developed into a fully rounded thing#maybe once curtain DID have more vicious henchmen#like mccracken. and maybe it went too far and he learned his lesson#or maybe it just made him a little uncomfortable and he ended up phasing them out (or making them helpers which. actually constitutes some#worrying issues now that all the helpers have been freed/remember everything)#and now he has people like jeepers#ANYWAYwhatever the case#milligan describes something already pretty horrifying#waking up with a metal contraption on his head. strapped in#being hit and interrogated and chained and jailed#escaping . running. falling off a cliff into the ocean#barely getting to shore alive#living off moss and nature#being treated like garbage on the streets--shunned and unbelieved#do you ever think it might have gotten worse than he said? things he wouldn't have told a group of kids?#he still told them most of it didnt sanitize it entirely bc he wanted them to understand the danger & not treat them like idiots#but like. what if. what if#milligan wetherall#the mysterious benedict society
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gibbearish · 4 months
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so like i want to talk more abt what suicidal means but the problem is "suicidal ideation presents in two general forms, active and passive. the thing most people think of as suicidal is the active version, where the person *actively* desires to be dead and/or is making a plan to get there. the passive form however gets almost no attention in media so many people experiencing it are unaware they are even depressed, much less passively suicidal. some examples: not wanting to experience death but feeling like you wouldn't mind if you didn't wake up tomorrow or just stopped existing; feeling deeply exhausted with just the entire concept of being alive; even feeling like you want to run away, change your name, and start a whole new life; none of these look like suicidal ideation to most people because they don't involve actively doing anything to get from point a to point b, especially the more abstract ones like the start a new life thing - but remember that in order to truly start a whole new life, you have to destroy your current one. it's not suicidal as in wanting to actually DIE die, it's just. wanting something close enough to scratch the itch. but just because you haven't booked the ticket doesn't mean you don't still revisit the 'vacation activities at point b' tab occasionally to daydream, yknow?" is i think very informative and specific, but its also quite long and run on-y so people are v likely to tap out like a third of the way through it, whereas "suicidal doesnt necessarily mean wanting to die" is way shorter and therefore catchier, but is also the kind of nonspecific phrasing that gets you a thousand angry anons about how you said all suicidal people are just pretending they actually want to die or some dumb shit. so it's a fun line to toe
#especially when youre far too lazy to dig up sources however if u google passive suicidal theres a lot of info#pretty front and center altho you will get jumpscared by the size 1000 font suicide hotline number#or maybe you wont but i sure was. why was it so big#in this house we simply post both as part of another hashtag relatable post in the hopes that the two for one bargain#will entice viewers to read the whole thing and go 'wait but /i/ feel like that what do you mean'#and then make a meta joke about it in the tags so the viewers think we're hip and cool#nah but seriously i see ppl not knowing abt this . so much and every time im like !!!!!!! no youre not crazy youre not supposed#to feel like this!!!!#so its one of the things where im like nah idc if im being annoying abt this as long as i hit the one (1) todays lucky 10000 who needs it#this one i dont remember seeing on any articles but id like to propose also that having trouble imagining your future can count too#and like obviously all of these have exceptions right like. ppl can just want to start a whole new life for non suicidal reasons#but if theres a pattern of these things or you find yourself being drawn back to one over and over again thats#when you should start being like ok somethings afoot#like the imagining ur future one you could easily have trouble visualizing things or even just Not Be Especially Imaginative#...or... it could be that deep down you dont feel like you /have/ one so your brain just. steers away from the subject entirely#and ykno. knowing which one it is is usually pretty helpful LOL#anyways. sorry theres no paragraph breaks i could not for the life of me figure out a good spot for them#/suicide#/suicide mention#/suicidal ideation#/depression#/death mention#and of course i think also like a lot of things this is more of a spectrum than a binary like obviously 'run away and#start a new life' is def a bit less active than 'id be ok w it if i didnt wake up tomorrow' but theyre still both on the lassive side#passive*#eugh im rambling now and not even in the slightly contained way the post itself is#im hitting post without rereading for the 40th time otherwise ill remember another tangent so if theres#any errors left my apologies
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undermostcorgi · 20 days
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the media which consumes your entire soul at age 12 will forever be a part of you. this is an unavoidable consequence of living and you have to accept this fact. no matter how old you get, no matter how long it has been since you last saw its smug face peeking out from the bushes as it follows you, no matter if you think you have outrun it for good and that you're finally finally safe and you hardly even remember it exists anymore and your brain knows a few brief moments of true peace, it WILL catch up to you in your moment of weakness. and listen you don't want to hear this but sometimes this is necessary for your mental health. you will on instinct want to reject it and run away again but sometimes. sometimes you just need to watch that old show or listen to that silly song or read that weird book again as an adult and it will hurt you a little bit in various little ways but it will also heal you a little bit. you can call it nostalgia you can call it connecting with your inner child or whatever you want but just listen to me it WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TOO AT SOME POINT AND YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THIS (i am forcibly dragged off the stage by security)
#heed my warning boy#it seems i am not well today#recently made the reluctant decision to revisit what was probably my VERY FIRST real hyperfixation#something that i don't necessarily want to mention by name right now because. well#its pretty objectively bad LOL like i dont think i know of ANYONE still posting about it or really proud of having liked it back in the day#i dont think it is as well known to the general public so it wont get me hunted down for sport even if i did name it probably hopefully#but for those who know its. probably not the best thing to be revisiting lmao (even though i think it might still be being made?? wtf)#but i felt i had to because i was about to start my period and was going crazy insane like you do you know how it is#and i randomly remembered a fanfic i loved and then remembered my fav character and how much i loved him#my actual first ever blorbo oh my GOD he was everything to me#so i reluctantly decided to rewatch “just the first few episodes” just to see how much i remembered and also to prove to myself it sucks#but surprise surprise: nostalgia and hormones are making me actually kind of enjoy it#and now i am suffering from fucking Catholic-like Guilt for not hating it which i think is pretty silly lmao#so im kind of posting this in an attempt to convince myself that its like. FINE and cringe is dead and all that#and that sometimes i gotta be nice to my little mentally ill brain and give it the junk food (bad media) it craves#ESPECIALLY when im on my period LMAO#anyway completely unrelated: why the FUCK do i still remember almost every single fucking word to the delicious tomato song SDHJFKSAJF#i hope no one actually reads this far in the tags bc i know that reveal will probably deal psychological damage to some of you LMAO SORRYYY#ok yeah posting this and then immediately going to bed so that the Haters cant reach me LOL SEE YA
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magical-girl-04 · 1 year
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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
Bestie gender itself is a performance, don't know why you're asking specifically about gay men tho when it's quiiiite clear I'm a lesbo lol. But there are clearly people who preform masculinely and feminally and of course those who don't preform either or switch it up. And of course it's not all based on gender presentation but also sexual preference, I would not like to have sex with anyone with a dick regardless of gender for example. So like yeah everything is performative and built on culture and society because that's just how humans work. There are many factors that influence the people we're attracted to and labels are just there to be labels. A gay man can say he likes men but that doesn't mean he likes all men yknow, labels just make shit easier to get across.
Anyway this was a random ass ask but kinda fun to think about for someone who is currently doing a queer theology course lol.
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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That’s what I’m saying!! Bro was really pushing his usual flat faces this TGS and was even acting like high school girls on his phone with Kuroda and Daito 😭 Sticking out his tongue and everything. What vape juice did he have
Bro i dont think its just vape juice in there at this point
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nomaishuttle · 5 months
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oh also little oc update.. I have figured iut what 2 do abt the souls thang and the solution is to recycle ANOTHER idea from a different worldbuilding project so yes
#that ones was fairiess and i still like it a lot i have been thinking abt it but im gonna steal one of the thangs#which isss fairies r magical essence obviouslyy. so theres this Huge pool of magical essence right. so when a new fairy is born they just#kinda. walk out of it KMAO. and the pool is all pretty and multicolored abd glowy and sparkly and the fairies r all different colors and#glowy and sparkly..#n yeah. and if u actually go into rhe pool Which fairies cant bc of what ill explain in a mo but you can likee. along the bottom of the#pool kinda thing you cn see fairies in their larval stage which is when the magic goo kind of like. Congeals JFBRJFBFJ into a fairy. so yaa#Anyways fairies cant go in bc like. basically rheyre functionally immortal probably dhey can be killed but also idk if they can. whos 2 say#i think if they stray too far from the pool perhaps they gradually hudt kind of cease existing so theres that.#but yaa once a fairy is like Done being a fairy they just kinda. walk back into the pool and basically dissolve to make new fairies so yes#but anywayss so the souls thang idk if ill have souls like. Going back into the pool... but i know there will be ljke a bigg ocean kinda#thing. abd the underworld is this like gigantic coty in a huge cavern so its gonna be like venice a bit with rhe canals. in the ocean which#is where the souls come from . so yes ..#sry rly loving 'so yes' today ig.#souls probably r not all different colors tho. or at the very least the palette is more restrained.. and they may kr may not glow vut they#dont sparkle. SAD !
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abyssembraced · 1 year
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((...how is it always my h.ollow k.night stuff that manages to breach the containment of this blog lmao
actually no it's not just h.ollow k.night but rather stuff related to h.ornet specifically sgddgsg
Anyway. I said this on my Actual Kirby Blog but I'll say it here too! Magolor Epilogue mode in the RtDL remake?? 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀
#ooc#((the ghost trick remaster is also pretty cool!))#((it's a game i've been curious about since i know it was made by the same guy who wrote the original ace attorney trilogy))#((the xenoblade dlc was certainly interesting too! though i only actually know things from xc2. not 1 or 3))#(and while i don't play it myself i know i've got multiple friends who are into splatoon! so i hope they're happy with that announcement :D#((the quick layton announcement was cool too! i've never played a pl game but i think i could see myself enjoying em. maybe someday))#((i don't have fe engage yet and i don't usually buy fire emblem dlc so that announcement didn't mean *that* much for me))#((but i still like how robin and chrom are together in one emblem))#((they are in love do not separate them <3 ))#((camilla though. why))#((like i get she's popular and all but just--- if you *have* to add another fates rep why wouldn't you do azura??))#((she'd still be able to have the same gimmick as camilla since she can also use dragon veins))#((now it's all uneven with a nohr rep but no hoshido one))#((...just give me takumi and then we're good <3 /j))#((though if it's also because camilla's a flying unit and they don't have a lot of those for emblems then i can accept that))#((veronica is a surprise but not unwelcome! didn't expect to see a heroes character in a main series game))#((but anyway yes. the kirby announcement was probably the highlight of the direct for me))#((return to dream land is by far my favourite kirby game so i've already been excited for its remake))#(( (maybe this time i'll actually have a shot at the true arena now that i won't have to play with a wiimote dhdhdhswh) ))#((and magolor is my second favourite kirby character! just behind meta knight but not by much))#((so!! i'm VERY excited for this new mode. new mago-lore (hehe) for the egg and the gameplay gimmick with the levelling up seems fun too!!)#((makes buying the remake extra worth it :D ))
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thecherrygod · 1 year
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I'm being stupid about feelings bc one time a classmate saw my scarf and asked me if he could try it on and i said "yeah sure bro" and he put it on for a bit said it was nice and when he took it off he put it on me and it both felt intimate in a weird way and also the look from a few people around us is still making me think about what the fuck that was
Now, it was months ago but i still talk with the guy and he tried to invite me for lunch or something tomorrow at a mall and i had to tell him that while i think it'd be nice that maybe we shouldn't do that at a mall on christmas eve and he was like "oh right it's christmas soon lmao yeah sure" but. I plan on going if we decide to do it another day but. I don't know his intentions and i don't know my opinions about it help
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arolesbianism · 8 days
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Horrible realization that if I go through with recollecting all the oni logs then I'll have to actually find out how to get "a seed is planted" like for realsies this time. Maybe I should just cheat them all in actually. <3.
#rat rambles#oni posting#a seed is planted sucks so bad its like my second favorite log and its been such a pain in the fucking ass to find#appearing then dissapearing so thourougly that I thought I might have made it up somehow making me learn to look into the god damn code to#find out if Im crazy or not only to find it along side all the story trait logs despite it being in the research notes section and Then I#open oni again to chech smth completely different and it fucking reapears out of nowhere and then the game updates and all my logs explode#this fucker has tormented me for so long and Ive seen no one else talk abt it so Im still not 100% convinced it wasnt a glitch somehow#it probably is a real log thats in the game and it disappearing is the glitch but boy do I have no way of knowing#if that is the case I can only imagine it relates to it seemingly having been intended as a story trait log#I assume it was moved to research notes because of how long it is but idk#anyways nails you motherfucker why must you have recorded one of the more lore heavy logs in the game and then made it a bitch to find#like genuinely I think its one of like 3 max logs that directly mention duplicants by name#ok ok there might be 4 I dont remember exactly#but two of those would be by jackie and one by probably nikola so nails mentioning them by name is a pretty big deal#and thats if Im remembering those logs correctly which I am likely not lol#its like 3 am ok#a seed is planted also just gives us some juicy lore relating to the actual tech we see in game#along with. that whole unnamed human subject thing. that still haunts me.#who are you subject whatever your number was and are you olivia specifically to spite me#if it wasnt for the b111-1 thing I wouldn't consider her that strong a canidate but it is a thing so she is#not only is she a strong candidate but shes like. one of like 3 real candidates we have for that#it's a weird case because it could very easily be a complete rando especially given the subject number instead of a work id being given#but also given its relation to dupes itd be weird if it wasnt someone who either worked at gravitas or otherwise got duped#which thankfully does free olivia of some possibility since as far as we know there are no olivia dupes lol#jorge and dr.holland are the other two main options in my minds eye but thats based on very little#dr.holland in particular would kind of vaguely make sense given hes mentioned in that story trait's artifact reward#but ofc given that nails does not choose to elaborate on that whole thing all I can do is blindly speculate#they also mention a name which is fun because its one of our rare complete randos in oni lore#now. he could easily be revealed to be some dupe but Im pretty sure the name was like bruce or smth so I dont consider it likely#also I am deeply curious of what this bruce guy was to nails given nails calls him 'my darling bruce'
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sakitenmaenjoyer · 5 months
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tsukasa's so funny bc in earlier stories whenever he showed a hint of anything negative he'd go "AUGHHHHHHH IM A USELESS PIECE IF SHIT. WAIT DONT THINK THAT WAY I HAVE TO BE BETTER"
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