#who has to save him through Love

[canisalbus]

I've been following you for years, and I love your art. Seeing you repost your older art pieces reminded me how much I loved the angry, bitter, miserable Machete art and how it resonated with me... but a part of me is also so happy to see the current art of him being happy. Cute art of him as a unicorn, or chilling in a bathtub with Vasco. Like, we're all growing and healing :')

#thank you! #he's been angry and bitter and miserable for so long it feels nice to give him an ounce of happiness for a change #some reasons to live besides spite and sense of duty #answered #anonymous #I always saw him as a character who's unsalvageable corrupted and doomed by narrative #and that the only way out of his miserable existence was a well deserved death #it sounds extremely cliche but I genuinely had no idea it would be so cathartic to view him through a lens of like #hope and healing and being worthy of love and saving despite your evident flaws and failings #unplanned redemption arc kapow #Vasco really just sauntered in and flipped the whole situation on it's head #sorry folks he has a boyfriend and gets regular pets and hugs and kisses now

[tubchunk]

wdym that everyone who stayed back on the island stayed back for love. wdym everyone that ran to save themselves also did it for their love for each other. wdym people tried their best to save the people they'd spent two weeks fighting cuz at the end there was love THERE WAS LOVE.

thats what the qsmp has always been about. it's love. all kinds of love. and what you're willing to do for that love. its love its love its love

#q!cellbit staying bc he didn't want to leave richas #q!baghera staying bc she couldn't leave pomme #q!foolish using and popping a totem trying to save leo #and going back to try and save q!tina and q!mouse #q!phil ripping his wings apart if it means flying him and q!tubbo to safety #q!fit flying through a meteor shower if it means saving ANYONE and saving q!bagi #all the residents shouting and pulling each other onto the boat constantly checking who has made it and who else is left #at the end of purgatory is when they were their MOST human #and even though theyre grieving their children and their friends #unsure of whats about to happen #the love is there #its always been love #qsmp #qsmp purgatory

[kinokoshoujoart]

oops all rock (springtime edition)

i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…

could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)

#my art #sos awl #debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff #or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs #i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know #and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love #rock tumbling (sos) #story of seasons a wonderful life #bokumono #story of seasons #harvest moon #hm awl #harvest moon a wonderful life #bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too #there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them #but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK…… #idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!! #fanart #awl rock #bokujou monogatari #hm anwl #unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry…….. #also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool… #ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted #mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters #OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING #i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version #and also fun secret things related to DS #this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu…. #i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)

[legendofzeldasilentprincess]

after knowing the whole story of Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, I still can't believe Nintendo really went for the Princess and the Knight trope

#and i love it #zelink #botw #totk #breath of the wild #tears of the kingdom #cause I mean sometimes I think about the story #and I just wonder was it a fic that I read?? #did the calamity really happen and zelda and link went through all that shit and lost ppl they loved? #and link wakes up 100 years later with no memories? #but then only hears a voice of a woman to help him find his memories and learn that he's the one who has to defeat the calamity #plus how they didn't get along at the beginning #and somehow also became a 'from enemies to lovers' trope #then with tears of the kingdom the whole story just shows about the LEGEND of ZELDA #and the things she went through and what she had to do to save Hyrule #and link's whole mission for the entire game was to find her #screw defeating ganondorf he just wants his wife back #honestly best zelda and link by far in the zelda series #like what would the next zelda game be like?? #plus the game director himself is zelink shipper so 👀 #okay ill shutup now lol

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

#silly hours #I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd #Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao #they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of #Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind' #and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life' #toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned' #and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit' #girl hWHAT #Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants #to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!! #Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies #They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted #He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok #He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be #because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that #Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt #+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow #realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??' #now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader. #and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat #you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play. #You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here #And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship #and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there #you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad #anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay #And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe

[pbnmj]

never before seen middle part comic noir… I’m obsessed u draw him so nicely 😭😭 so blessed

NOT THE LAST MIDDLE PART COMIC NOIR I INTEND TO DRAW!!!! age discourse/noir timeline discussions i see on the dash have started to make me think about the overlapping year (1933....) and how that could be tied to the 'canon event'. and specifically the potential of comic!noir having a crazy angsty bittersweet time about itsv noir having longer with robbie because he happens to be born earlier in his universe. but also comic!pete having to grapple with knowing what happened to robbie in his universe and how he can't stand by and watch a version of himself lose robbie when he could change things. which is why i have this draft of a page :)

AND GOD DUDE THE WAY U DRAW COMICS NOIR (baby... baby boy) ABSOLUTELY HAS PLAYED A PART IN HOW I DRAW HIM !!! he is so devastatingly young in your depiction of him and i felt like the way i drew the comic version of him had to change and adjust towards that!!!! i love the comic art but that is not a 16-17 year old kid and i swear if the comic reflected how young he was i would have had the world's worst category 10 woman moment

#so what if im playing fast and loose with the idea of spiderverse canon.' miguel wouldnt let' BLAH BLAH MY CITY NYEOW!!!!! #all the stuff in my psd folders are just noir comics that are wips. i must find time to line color and post them #the other itsv noir-robbie comic technically takes place almost concurrently with this one... #where 90214B is going through the same motions as comic 90214 . canon events will be disrupted. i promise. #anyway yes. noirverse enjoyers grab your screentone brushes!!!!!!!!! #my art #noir #sooner or later i will unleash a bunch of noir comics into the tumblr stratosphere. only the rsi holds me back #and i do not think this has to be said but ofc ur art kills me. every day. i love ur noir comics so dearly #and you are ofc the noirobbie pioneer who got me to read 08-09 again because i was enjoying ur content so much!!!! #and for the better. i have become so much worse about noir!pete #i have to save him. he's so fucking young (<- cannot save peter parker because he is lines on a comic page) (<- also a tragedy enjoyer)

[itischeese]

Team Minato really got dealt the worst possible hand by fate.

First, Kakashi has to watch the boy he loves “die” to save him, has the only remnant left of that boy be his literal eye, forever cementing him a part of Kakashi. He’s left unable to do anything but wish for Obito back fighting beside them, for their team to be whole again, but that’s never going to happen, now.

Then, Obito has to watch the girl he loves get KO’d by the boy she loves, and by the time he finds out she jumped, his hatred for Kakashi—the boy he gave his life to save, the boy who loves him, who promised to keep Rin safe—is already cemented. What is he to do but to lose faith in the world, after that? After having the first he sees of his teammates after months trapped in a cave with a madman be her last moments at Kakashi’s hand?

And Kakashi, Kakashi tries to be as much like Obito as he can, tries to save as much of the boy he loved within himself as he can, and then he loses one of the only other people he has—the person whose safety was the last request of the boy Kakashi loved—to his own hand. And he tries to remember her as best he can, models his disguise after her to keep her alive in the only way he can just as he did Obito, but it’s not enough.

And Obito is driven so far over the edge, believes so deeply that the only way to be happy in a broken world is in a dream that he attacks the village that used to mean so much to him, attacks—tries to kill—the people who were like parents to him, because he’s angry, and what does it matter what he does in this worthless world if it’ll be as if it never happened in his dream?

And Kakashi loses the last two people he has, loses them to the boy he loves. Finds out nearly two decades later that Obito never died, that Obito has become everything he would have loathed, once. And then Kakashi has to try and kill him, kill the man whose memory Kakashi built himself around, and when they’re finally on the same side again, when Kakashi can finally fight alongside the man he loves again like he had always wished, it is the last time, because Obito dies again, and this time he’s not coming back. This time, it’s over, and Team Minato is down to one member as Kakashi had thought it for so many years, but it is so much worse, now, and Kakashi can do nothing but move on, because he has people who need him, now.

#it's just---it's about the cyclical nature of it #about Kakashi losing the boy he loves when Obito sacrifices himself to save him #about Rin /dying/ by the boy she loves' hand #about everything Obito was dying with the girl he loves #with the boy he loves---even if he doesn't know it---'s hand through her chest #and then the only people Kakashi has left being killed---or having their deaths caused---by the boy he loves #who gave everything to save him once #I am having Feelings about them #team minato #kakaobi #hatake kakashi #uchiha obito #nohara rin #minato namikaze #kushina uzumaki #naruto #obikaka #obkk #kakashi #kkob #nurt #obito #rin #obito x kakashi #kakashi x obito #kakashi hatake #obito uchiha #rin nohara

[sinnbaddie]

Truly understanding Gojo as a character is realizing that he cares more than a lot of the fandom thinks but he doesn’t care as much as the other side of the fandom thinks

He’s not a person who doesn’t care at all, but he’s also not a person who cares as much as someone like Yuuji. That’s what’s interesting about his character

#jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #he’s someone who cares for others and understands the love someone has for another person #but he doesn’t care enough to use his powers to the best of his abilities; to really help the people around him #you can see it in his fight with Sukuna; he clearly wanted to stop him to save humanity #but his need for showing off and ‘getting through to him’ was more important #and that’s a fundamental aspect to Gojo #yes he cared; but the need to be strong to show he’s strong will almost always outweigh that caring part of him #that’s why he’s a complex character and you can’t say he’s one or the other because he’s both

[hecksupremechips]

Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?

#persona #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #shinjiro aragaki #i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it #that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically #and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks #plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know #and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship #and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live #cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for #youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone #its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back #its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing #kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh #and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has #idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like #akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance #grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together #kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the #meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies

[felicitywilds]

also slowly turning around in my brain how rose said she was going to stay with the doctor forever, and then later donna says the same thing (to martha!! the doctor doesnt even hear or know!!! it would make him so happy but hurt him so much if he did!!!!!!), and then when she tells the doctor shes going home in sontaran stratagem he immediately assumes it means shes leaving him for good and accepts it but also launches into all the things he still wanted to show her.

and i know its played for a joke like haha silly martian thats not what i meant! but this is the same man who, when he needed to turn human, loved someone SO DEEP AND HARD that he didnt think he'd ever fall in love again. ever. even with his memory erased. so when you take that moment of "oh you're just popping home for a visit" and like ACTUALLY look at it you're like. this man gets so so so attached to people, and is so incredibly scarred by losing these people he loves that he has no choice but to let them go when they want to leave on good terms, because he knows how bad it could get for them if they stay, no matter how much he wants them to stay.

anyway donna's forever and rose's forever are just different flavors of the same "i need you as much as you need me, so im in it for the long haul, bad stuff included" and its chefs kiss

#doctor who #dw #nuwho #donna noble #rose tyler #tenth doctor #by me #dont skip nine #i just. i have so many thoughts about donna i cant even get them all down #ill probably need another post about this #but i just LOVE how much she takes those classic Rose Things and turns them on their heads #donna travels with the doctor bc she has nothing else just like rose did #but while rose traveled so he wouldnt be lonely and through that company he learned to be humane #donna travels with him to keep him humane and through that company he starts to heal from his grief of being lonely #if that makes sense #when rose was there he always did things for HER and it was so dangerous for both of them and scarred them more than it could have #and now with donna its like nah man do it for THEM. you cant live for your companions. you gotta live for you and the people you save #ok i think im done now

[resident-gay-bitch]

little rich boy sirius who gets disowned and can barely survive without his expensive brands and the basic human need to eat at least once a day meeting the entirely too generous james potter who just falls for the vanity and sincerity of the reformed rich boy and decides that once sirius stops caring about brands and status and rich boy things and just cares about what matters in life he decides to spoil his boyfriend to pieces because he’s secretly sitting on a fucking fortune

#idk i just think it’s funny #like james would find sirius when he’s struggling with money because he’s so bad at saving and prioritising his spendings because he’s never #had too before and so james would teach him how to do all that stuff and emotionally support sirius through it all and sirius just falls in #love with this beautiful guy who’s just so generous and who teaches him so many things and finds value in kindness and sincerity and #compassion and all that jazz and james falls in love with sirius helplessly because he might be stuck up and vein and kind of selfish and #is stuck up and cares all too much about status but he’s trying so hard to be better and he finds empathy because sirius got kicked out for #the worst reasons because he’s always been the black sheep of his highly cultist christian family or whatver and he’s also outwardly queer #and james decides that he wants to give sirius everything and loves the way he looks in expensive makeup and designer faux fur coats and #heels and divine jewellery and all that jazz but makes sirius sell it all and learn what it means to be human and not rely on money and #status and brands and stuff and sirius learns what it’s like to be decent and in touch with humanity and only then does james take sirius on #a surprise luxury holiday for his birthday or something and then just buys him thousands of dollars worth of all these glamorous looking #things and sirius is like omg what the fuck jamie and then he just becomes sirius’ sugar daddy because he can’t help himself but they’re #also in love and much better people because of it and when sirius buys things now it’s not because of brands or because they have big price #tags like he used too. he now buys things with james’ credit card he keeps in his own wallet because he thinks he’ll feel pretty in them or #because he thinks james will loose it if he sees sirius walking around in it or if he sees a really cute toaster that sends him into a #frenzy that has him spending all way too much on an impromptu kitchen renovation but james doesn’t care because as long as his boyfriend is #happy and actually paying attention to the price of things and calculating the best value and taking james’ opinion as well and just being #happy and safe and accepted in his new home and family here with his jamie #please i think they’d be so cute ugh!!! #prongsfoot #bambibelle #drabble #fic idea #marauders #james potter #sirius black #jay talks

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened. #you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help? #doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do” #“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem” #(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.) #he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again. #something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence? #she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”. #wips tag

[amaraudermind]

Shazam: Fury of the Gods is obviously about Billy and his journey as a hero and he's the main character or whatever but more importantly the movie is 100% centered around Freddy.

It's about Freddy's self-worth and struggles with being a hero and with how Billy acts about the hero thing(because neither of them understand the underlying reasons that they make the decisions they do) and it's about how unbelievably strong Freddy is and how he doesn't think he is strong even while he is doing things no one else can.

Freddy is constantly doing things that should not be possible for a person to do and he does them anyway but he doesn't think it's enough. It's not fixing everything so it's not enough and all he can focus on is what he can't do.

Even the final act which is very very centered on Billy is about how Freddy can't do anything about this whole situation. Where he is actively pulling off incredible feats but he isn't saving anyone so what good is this.

In conclusion: I am very normal about this movie

#shazam spoilers #shazam: fury of the gods #billy batson #freddy freeman #just freddy is the sole reason that anthea is on their side but he doesn't have his powers so who cares. #freddy can fight kalypso's chaos magic--truly FIGHT it--but he's just kid playing hero to pretend he's not broken to himself. #he powers through the paralyzing fesr effect of atlas' dragon but that hasn't saved the day so it doesn't matter. #time and again the movie shows you. over and over and over. freddy is so fucking powerful. but he can't see it. #he can only see where he fails. it's his fault they're in this mess because he let's himself get captured. #it's his fault ann lost her powers because she was trying to protect him. it's his fault billy dies because he couldn't save him #all he sees are failures. but all he talks about as 'captain everypower' is his success. because as a hero he can focus on the wins #he can feel powerful because he has powers. as soon as he loses them he feels like none of what he can do matters. #he doesn't have powers. so what's the point. #hhhhh i love him so much so so so much #this is such a good movie and everyone should see it

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[skalidris]

something something health is a performance; if you are sick, sometimes you can only be sick backstage; in the moment of sickness, you are leaving the role; in the moment of death, you are leaving the stage

#li lianhua <3 #mlc #sure yes there's the can't-show-this-head-on of queerness #but there's also something like that with health #and in both cases there are tensions wrt who and how can perform this convincingly #and what bleeds through. and if the audience incorporates it. #(audience in-story) #xiaobao who's named for a sickness he has no longer... #li lianhua who names himself against a sickness that is killing him.. #qiao wanmian whose sickness is a path for people to lie to her vs li lianhua who lies bc he's sick #all three of them having their agencies overwritten in such physical ways... #poisoning and curing and saving and being saved and what it means to live sick... i love mysterious lotus casebook

[hella1975]

are you guys thinking about touya todoroki today because i am

#what if he just wanted to be good what if he burned up and out waiting for his parent to look at him and just LOVE HIM #what if all he ever wanted was that positive affirmation what if he just needed to be treated kindly and was instead #offered only cruelty what if he was a child who didn't need to be strong he just needed to be held #what if raising children to be soldiers regardless of good intention is still a fucked up thing to do #because they're CHILDREN they just want you to be nice to them they don't care about being the strongest #and why does being the strongest matter more than anything else? is that really worth doing all this damage? #is it really worth being so mean? you're supposed to love them why won't you show it #and it haunts him so much he literally BURNS HIMSELF ALIVE OVER IT and no one even comes to watch #and when the rejection finally FINALLY gets through his head and he's forced to accept that he's never gonna get that love #and acknowledgement that he needs so much he doesnt heal from it and choose to be the bigger person #he instead becomes something ugly and mean and messy and awful and he's a sum of all the acts made against him #because he's ANGRY and he doesn't care that he's angry he's shameless and embracing of that rage #because it covers up the hurt and if he has to hurt people in order to avoid his own pain then that's what he'll do #and to the very end he's shouting every bad thing that happened to him refusing to go down quietly about it #refusing to be a good little victim that shakes and cries in a corner and lets things sort themselves out because it NEVER DOES #NO ONE EVER SAVES HIM. NO ONE EVER PROTECTS HIM. WHY WON'T THEY PROTECT HIM #and not a single person acknowledges him. not a single person looks on him with pity #there's no one there to say 'that was shit and you deserved better'. no one. and what did he honestly do that was so bad as to deserve this #he was a child who wanted to be loved. to be good. that's all #touya todoroki #literally feels like his character was created to make me specifically want to blow my brains out el oh el <3