#who am i unsatisfied with

[add1ctedt0you]

What's your version of Jiang Cheng Gives Up? *chinhands*

Hiii! My version of jc gives up is very boring: he gives up on wwx and their shared past and moves on.

An overexposure to yunmeng bros reconciliations has brought me to one conclusion: I don't necessarily need them to reconcile. (Not because: 'jc/wwx is so toxic!' or 'jc/wwx deserves better than that selfish asshole!'. Like, I always roll my eyes. They are two horrible human - fictional- beings who deserve each other!).

But imo, post-canon jc has two priorities:

Jin ling

Himself

First point: he needs to be there for jl. Not only politically! But emotionally too. jl is going through a rough time jc too experienced: a loved ones betrayal. jc knows what it does to you. And listen, one of the things I love about jc is how he is trying his best. Always. In particular when it comes to people he loves. ('but he did a lot of things wrong', thank fuck! He is a traumatized character who behaves like a traumatized character. This scene explains so much about jc imo: jc knows that not having an adult in your life who believes in you is shit. So he tries to give space - in his way- to jl, while fighting his urge to protect him, because the last time every one of his family member was on a battlefield, they died.) So yeah, he is going to try being there for jl, in his imperfect way. And that brings me to point two.

jc has to recalibrate himself, to be there for jl: what he thought were truths, are revealed to be lies. All his life was a lie.

That's my favorite jc's speech. It's visceral, it's painfully honest. He is literally saying to us his state of mind: he is feeling guilty, wronged and confused.

'who am I?' hits hard, because who you are when you have built your life on lies?! Should he feel guilty?! wwx has made this huge sacrifice for him, but he has hurt him too: what should he feel?!

So, because I interpret jc as someone who overthinks, I want him to lose his mind over his doubts and start a journey of healing (or, what realistically someone without therapy can manage).

I want him to look at Lotus Pier, his home, and think: 'dang, what I have managed is incredible'. I what him to realize: 'what wwx made for me was an huge sacrifice, but my feelings are valid too'. I want him to be, not happy, but satisfied, when thinking about his life. And I don't need him and wwx to reconcile, because I like the bittersweet taste their broken relationship leaves in his mouth.

So, my jc gives up is: he learns to live with himself and jl, peacefully.

#Spriteofmushrooms #I also think jc will be sect leader until his last day. #It's fundamental to his character imo #I am a sucker for characters bonded by duties #Also probably I find yunmeng reconciliations so unsatisfying because I disagree with their interpretations of both characters #wwx is always described as this healthy person who accepts his past and moves on.. Denial isn't acceptance. #wwx is still 23. The world against him. #jc is almost 40. Years of leadership and endurance have shaped him. #Character shaped by their trauma and on a self-discovery/healing journey is my favorite trope to write. I like to leave things open-ended #Because healing it's awful. it's made of up and down. And it requires a lot of time #Tbc I still read fics about them. Now only sugar_shoal fics. They are my favorite! Their wwx is my favorite wwx! #Uh I got off track. sorry. :-/

[casa-delle-galline]

So Max made the weird decision to cancel OFMD, the show that was one of the most in-demand shows on the platform, of the highest score, that was basically its cash cow, worth hundreds if not thousands of subscribers, and thought that was a good idea?

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#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s3 #i have hope and a gut feeling that this won’t last long #that max will be harassed to the point where they actually decide to continue #only because this decision cost them greatly #but honestly I think this could be the lesser of two evils #because if we do get a third and final season #and the budget is cut again #and the number of episodes is cut to six #and the season is therefore rushed and unsatisfying #that’s not gonna do the show or the writers or the audience any good #and nobody wins #i am sad to say that #but that’s how I see it playing out if max keeps doing what they’re doing #thank you to everyone who gave this show life #david jenkins #taika waititi #rhys darby #con o’neill #nathan foad #matthew maher #kristian nairn #samba schutte #leslie jones #joel fry #ewen bremner #samson kayo #vico ortiz #everyone else whom I can’t individually tag right now because of the tag limit thank you!

[saltytearsofjoy]

Read bungo stray dogs (mistake) if this story ends tragically that’ll be it for me

#bsd manga spoilers #—> #I am not immune to the tragedy of a character dying and then coming back as something that doesn’t represent who they used to be #BUT im kind of confident he’s coming back #espec cause he’s facing atsushi (which is also rlly sad) #also I think he didn’t kill aya cause he’s subconsciously following his promise to atsushi 😼 #oh and I need sigma to live. he can hang out with the detective agency #or be roomies with Edgar Allan poe idk #i also doubt dazai is dying in this prison. that would feel really unsatisfying cause he wouldn’t get to talk to any of the agency #I think it’s possible that he could deactivate the vampire ability (whether by touching bram or fukichi. the sword thing confuses me sorry)

[skibasyndrome]

I'm about to throw all my academic values overboard to get this fucking article done

#linguistics are my enemy #not because I don't like the subject #I'm just........ so much less at ease with this than with literary sciene oh my god #I'm so glad I can mostly focus on lit in the future but let me tell you these few linguistics articles I have/had to do have really brought #me to my limit #and I thought I was already fed up and not giving a shit when I did that one article in summer... oh I had NO IDEA how much less of a shit #was capable of giving!!! #the thing is.... I think objectively I'm still? idk not the worst I could technically be doing #like there ARE people who straight up... idk don't even try to have a research question or who don't read more than a handful or articles b #t ugh #I like academic writing so much and I love putting in the work and I love actually getting into the reseach and finding the most important #texts and writing a balanced and well researched article but ugh..... I just feel like I keep reaching my limits with linguistics #and this time is worse than the others because this topic is SO FAR from being standardized and all I can do is ???? mention that there's #like a hundred different models and then just??? choose one and go with it? which is so fucking unsatisfying #but I swear... everybody in this field is just making up a new model that's just different words for the same thing (and not in the /normal #way that science /always/ is about making up a new model. no. this time they are very unnecessarily making up new models) #ugh. everything about this sucks #I should've chosen a different seminar I should've chose a different topic and I especially should've written more of this in summer when I #technically still had a little more time #sorry for blowing up your dash with complaints this festive season lol. I am just having a time (TM) with the different writing tasks on my #hands and I need a place to vent I guess #simon.out. #sounds so drastic btw I'm not about to cheat or plagiarize or anything but I'm about to do so much less of a proper work than I ever wanted #to allow myself to do. cherrypicking and all.

[kingdomoftyto]

Rotating Simon Petrikov in my mind again...........

Right now I can only envision the F&C series ending in one of two ways for him:

Simon is persuaded to permanently move to Fionna's magic-free world--a chance to live the peaceful, scholarly life he was denied by the war and the Crown. We see that he can't relate to the humans in Ooo because they're so far removed from what humans were like back in his time that they might as well be aliens, but this alternate world would be just like he remembered his old life to be, and thus more comfortable for him to settle down in. Even if it meant leaving Marceline and the others behind in Ooo, I could see this being a real possibility if Betty somehow finds a way to go with him. It would require moving on irrevocably from one part of his life, but they'd get their simple, mundane--yet happy--ending.

Simon is forced to reconcile with the fact that reuniting with Betty is either impossible or not worth some terrible price. Maybe he realizes he's not willing to cut himself off from his Marceline and the little ragtag family they've built, even for a life with Betty. Or maybe accepting the mundane life for himself would also doom Fionna and Cake to a life of misery and broken dreams, and he can't bring himself to betray his new friends for such a selfish reward. Either way the result is that he returns to Ooo, to basically the same situation he was in at the start of the season, but finally free from all the regret and guilt and grief that was stopping him from moving forward and finally embracing the second chance that Betty gave him back in "Come Along with Me".

I honestly don't know which I think is more likely at this point OR necessarily which one I would prefer, because they both have pros and cons. I maybe lean toward the second one because I tend to hate "the magic is gone, and that's good!"-type endings, but depending on the buildup I could still see it working. Ultimately it'll depend on wherever Fionna and Cake themselves end up, and I have NO idea where that's going lmao

#Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake spoilers #they'd BETTER not try to pull some crap about FIONNA being happier in the non-magical world because THAT would be nonsense #and like. hm... it would almost make the most sense to me right now for F&C to just live in the regular Ooo??? #despite their current goals in the most recent episodes I haven't really seen any compelling reason why the world Fionna started in would #benefit as a whole from becoming magical. and in fact it feels like it might be kind of a jerk move to everyone else to do so. #she seems to be the only one who's definitely unhappy with her life there (though maybe the Gumshall b-plot will prove me wrong later!) #but obviously it feels weird and maybe like. unsatisfying? for her to just exist in the same world as Finn #so maybe they're going to resolve this by creating a whole separate Ooo just for her (which seems excessive) or #OH OH what if Fionna and Cake end up able to just travel the whole multiverse at will!! #maybe they'll resolve the cosmic crime stuff and connect their home universe up to the rest of the multiverse web #allowing easier travel between the worlds because of some kind of convenient plot device #idk now I'm just throwing out baseless theories because they sound cool to me #I am gnawing on the bars of my cage WHEN IS THE NEXT EPISODE

[quietwingsinthesky]

(i do try not to think about that episode so much because it does annoy me greatly that it’s this build up of. everyone around the doctor loves him so much they’d risk destroying time itself to save his life. river resists shooting him, amy puts together pieces of him in her head enough to want to help him across reality breaking, and at the end, the whole of time and space hears someone say “the doctor needs help!” and they come to answer. because that’s the good he puts out into the universe. people will come. if he just asks, they’ll come.

and then the episode turns around and goes, ‘yeah, anyway, river’s an idiot for doing all this dramatic shit to save him lol. the doctor had a plan all along to save himself. he doesn’t need anyone’s help.’ like THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT. OF EVERYONE WHO CAME. TO HELP HIM. WHY DID WE BOTHER WITH ANY OF THIS.)

#ITS SOOOO UNSATISFYING GOD. AND IT DOES MANAGE TO BE SO GOOD UP UNTIL THAT MOMENT. #the doctor is so loved by all the universe….. but lmao who cares he’s never needed anyone but himself am i right #LIKE NO. SHUT UP. LET HIM BE SAVED BY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP AND THE GOOD WILL HE’S GENERATED BY HELPING PEOPLE THROUGHOUT SPACE!!!!!! #could have been such a crowning moment for a doctor who is just. so set on not being helped. on doing things himself even if it hurts and it #does it always does. from the moment amy tries to intervene in the beast below and he yells at her for it and hes *wrong* to because without #listening to her he’d have made himself a monster. #to the battle of demon’s run where he gets so caught up in himself and making a show of humiliating and defeating these people that his team #that came here to help him start to die and he doesn’t even notice that the child he came here to save is already gone. #IS THIS NOT ABOUT THE DOCTOR PUTTING HIS SHIT DOWN AND LETTING OTHER PEOPLE HELP HIM. #AND IF NOT. IF NOT. THEN WHY. ARE WE BOTHERING. #okay. okay. im okay again. im normal. back to business per usual. #justice for river song fr #doctor who

[murphyzzz]

I put on some sanji cosplay makeup call me a fucking lady at once!

#yapping #gender #i am mentally ill #sanji #he’s like a girl who’s a boy #cosplay #I feel like I’ve surpassed trans and gay what is the next level.. I am unsatisfied #im like a boy who’s pretending to be a girl who’s pretending to be nonbinary #does that make any kind of sense #no #alas this is who I am… tragic

[uncanny-tranny]

hi there! im the anon who isnt happy with his surgery results. i wanna thank you for everything that u said! my friends are very supportive but ive only been able to open up to three ppl about my disappointment and none of them have your level of understanding (not blaming them just stating facts) i think ive been feeling guilty over all of this, which makes it worse. like im supposed to be happy but im not. now that ive accepted it, i have to work on a way to be okay until november. thank u sm!

I'm so glad to hear from you again! It's really disappointing that there's this expectation that trans people must perform happiness for others in our transition... it isn't right or fair or realistic. I don't know what your life is like personally, but I am confident you will be able to get through this. You are stronger than you know, you are more worthy than you may realize <3

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i honestly think the whole 'you have to be perfectly happy when you're transitioning otherwise you're [x/y/z]' to be toxic as all hell #because it denies people the ability to feel the full range of their emotions which is so damaging #it's damaging to feel like you're a 'bad trans' because you're experiencing a very common feeling (unsatisfying feelings about your body) #there can be trans people who are unsatisfied with parts/all of their transition and that doesn't mean transitioning is bad or... #...that they don't deserve compassion/understanding #this is just a tangentially-related waffle and not directed at anon since i'm making sweeping statements... #...and i don't want to imply anything about anon... #...because again it's just a trend that i' making a broad statement about and i don't direct it at them #i am so confident that you (anon) will get through all of this. i hope this is something you can look back on and look at yourself... #...with care and compassion. you are worth the effort it takes to be happy/satisfied/content

[merrysithmas]

i love bo, but 100% offense meant when i say i do not care about her existential crisis at the moment we see Din bathe in the living waters / we've been waiting to see for 2 seasons. i do not care about anyone else but Din in that moment and it shouldve all been about him @ the writers

#weirdest decision ever #couldve been a Moment but it was a wash #and one i am like 🤢 about honestly #like the only reason she touched the waters was bc if Din's ardent devotion #if no one brings up she wouldnt even have been there (and mocked tf out of it as they walked down there) if not for din ill be v confused #just fyi if you comment on this and dont directly agree w me im blocking you #this is a Me and People Who Agree With Me only event #im a huge HUGE fan of bo but i watch THIS particular show for mando and grogu and that moment was botched when it shouldnt have been #very unsatisfying for the viewer #yeah im still talking about it lmao #the mandalorian #bro didnt even REMEMBER the waters he blacked out like ... nah

[sailingtempest]

☆ With that being said and done, Griselda has been removed from this blog (as well as from this site) and being replaced by Firtha. Firtha's bio (x).

Any asks for Griselda will now be aimed for any of my other muses. I'm unsure if I will ever return her back to this site or this blog. The reason for this action because I kept getting frustrated with what I can do with Griselda, which kept killing my drive and motivation to write her. That and - and mind you, it is mostly my fault for this - that she gotten little to no interactions. No matter how many times I went up to someone to bounce ideas off of them for her, I always left, feeling unsatisfied and that person and I getting nowhere with any ideas. Perhaps in the future if I managed to be more satisfied with her concept and wanting to go in a certain direction with her without backtracking, I may consider the thought of readding her.

For now, I will set down Firtha, who has been my highest muse for nearly as long as Vasco. Although Firtha isn't exactly a sci-fi based muse, I do have ideas for her being in that setting as well as the direction of her story. So, she might as well come onto this blog. And the verse being used the most will be in any sci-fi or Mass Effect setting, given this is a Mass Effect blog.

#☆ rocĸ αɴd rαмвlιɴɢ awαy! / ooc☆ #tbd #now it gives me an excuse to sit down #and actually type out her verses instead of putting a few ideas down #and going from there #I am filled with ideas for my oc #but I need to kick myself into writing it down for F.irtha #I do apologize for the whole inconvenience for people #especially those who looked forward to writing with G.riselda #until I feel satisfied with her character and not keep trying to rewrite her every two seconds #I am putting her off this blog #And again I can't go to people #because like I said we will get nowhere with these ideas #because I'll be unsatisfied with the results #that is something I don't want to put on others either #I hate to burden people by bouncing off ideas and I am not satisfied with anything

[m0e-ru]

god made me throw away my chances of being an epic specialist at one thing by giving me a blorbo who is loved only by me where i’m forced to play one million roles and have a fandom community’s effort rested on my back like fucking atlas

#kommento #// i can’t be number one artist writer analyst video editor modder full stack developer merch designer marketer business manager shitposter #// but i am number one silly guy lover ever in the whole world forever and no one can take that away from me #// unless you’re like. japanese and have been on this shit since 2008 and has the same sentiments as me ever since that time #// i would humbly give up the crown. and my position. and management rights #// unsatisfied with everything because i can’t focus on one thing but i want to do everything and i’ll never win but i win everyday anyway #// I AM AN EVERYDAY WINNER AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME i’m number one hashtag positivity #// <- hype talk so i don’t have a spiral while washing the dishes #// let’s make things for ourselves and share our love for one thing peace and love on the planet earth i love you all MWAHH

[wajb]

i understand why you felt the barry finale was underwhelming but i also think that's the best the show could be. it was never gonna go out in a blaze of glory or a suicide bomb they were always selfish and afraid to die and barry wasn't redeemable, or maybe he could have been, and maybe he was to most, oh god oh fuck

#the barry finale is not supposed to be a thriller it's supposed to be CHEWABLE #and BOY am i chewing #the revenge cycle the man with no heart at home in the darkness who always wins because he has nothing to lose the sally driving home alone #unsatisfied with her flowers but at least she got out #barry dead on his father's couch with a bullet in his head and his heart because he killed someone who was so loved #hank. HANK. #write me a better ending for ANY character i dare you #barry #i've had some wine

[fagoutboy]

i think i need to make peace with the fact i am not a creative person

#i feel like every creative endeavor i try to take on just fails miserably every time #im deeply unsatisfied with my art; its very static and im not good at multiple things and can only draw the same shit over and over #my writing has been shit lately too not to mention i have zero writing ideas anyway #had the most embarrassing audition of my life tonight trying out for a show with my drag club and failed it horribly (for the 3rd time) #im so fucking bad at performance im too stiff and jagged and im not funny i cant make jokes to save my life i have no stage presence #like i think i just am not destined to do anything in the arts. which is jarring as someone who kind of barely had a rep for being #'artsy' as a kid (but not even. bc other kids were better than me and had more well-liked art and so on so forth) #im just gonna kill myself idk. #txt

[klinejack]

i think last night tipped me a leeeetle into mania

#i did not sleep #i don’t feel tired yet #i simply have a Thought about last nights episode and i am once again spiralling #CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THEY DID FOR US #i’m sorry to those who are bitter because cas has still not appeared #my thoughts are thus: #dean looked completely unsatisfied throughout the entire ep #we know jackles is unsatisfied duh #DANEEL is involved (no.1 cas girl) #and the main point dean made was that he’s looking for his family #HAS HE FOUND IT YET?? CLEARLY NO #anyway EYE know who he’s looking for. WHY would he look at all if there was nothing to find? #JOHN WAS DOWN THE ROAD FROM HIS HEAVEN #SAM IS STILL ON EARTH ALIVE AT THIS POINT #HE DIDNT NEED TO GO FOR A DRIVE #OR A DETOUR #AND YETTTTT #dean winchester #destiel #the winchesters #the winchesters spoilers

[hua-fei-hua]

*slips flaws into my favorite characters that weren't necessarily there in the canon text, but only because canon has hardly paid them any attention anyway*

#interestingly i have to remind myself that my goal is to make my portrayals of these characters feel real and human #instead of making them palatable and kind and appealing to everyone; as if they are a commodity to be sold n marketed #and that means making them judgy or too forgiving or kind of a jackass or what have you #n like it makes sense that mhy designs these characters to be as broadly appealing as possible; it's a gacha game. they're being sold. #but i suppose it's the obsession w/unreliable narrators in me that makes me unsatisfied w/that kind of like #omnipalatable characterization when it comes to writing them myself; i need flaws to filter their worldviews #omg just now remembering that i did this w/tdmm too hahaha back when fanon made them too saccharine for my tastes #花話 #how am i to love myself in all my flawed glory if i cannot love others who are also flawed etc etc #recognition of the self through the other blahblahblah etc etc

[hydrachea]

Just once (okay maybe more than that) I'd like to have an atheist to believer conversation because I have many questions to ask believers, but know practically none.

#i joke about being a heathen often and i am one #but i'm also interested in different world views #'what kind of believer' doesn't matter! #christian muslim jewish polytheist monotheist all are equals in my eyes #a religious person remains a religious person - someone who has a different world view from my own #i was born and raised atheist in a secular country so my curiosity remains mainly unsatisfied