#while taking care; so I've done it

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents will go 'Oh yeah? Well I had it worse! My parents were bad!' and it's like, Oh? We can acknowledge that your parents were bad? You can say that? You can say they treated you very badly? You know this and are aware of this?

And yet, when raising your own child, you used their methods and decided that you are the victim here? That it's okay because they've done it 'worse'? You're comfortable telling your children that they're paying for however you've been treated, and that you specifically had your children to expose them to all of the bad things that happened to you? The world feels fair to you if your own children are suffering? That's where you take your power?

Your parents were bad and you know this, so you went ahead and became a bad parent on purpose, and you're thinking you're the victim in all this?

#abusive parents #feeble excuses #if you know your parents were bad then you know they treated you bad #so by logic you would not use the same measures to raise your own kids while whining how you had it worse #nobody believes you btw #you don't even know what your children are going trough and what environment they're exposed #they're growing in a different world than you were raised in #what you do to them will feel different from what's been done to you #but you don't care about all that do you #you only care about having those 5 simple words to excuse everything you've done #i've had it worse #anyone in the world can have a traumatic time living in this world #and none of it gives them the right to take it out on children #children are not sacrificial altairs to make people feel better about their past #children are the future and you are taking that future away from them #disgusting victim blaming mongrels

[bleaksqueak]

Whew look at you go! Had a small problem with aphids a lil while back, but after a whole lot of diligence they were banished. Still have some of the damaged leaves visible but look at all the healthy new growth!

You may be trying to take over my desk, but I couldn’t ask for a better art companion. The moss in the planter is happy with the frequent watering and shade, but the impatiens is trying to devoir the terrarium moss now too

My oxalis is thriving still, too. But it has its own space above me and isn’t trying to reach out and say hello as much.

Okay, this has been your semi annual habitat update. Back to painting.

Also, hello new followers! Thank you for liking my art.

#photos #plants #witchy vibes #skulls #rats need hobbies too #gonna plant some violets soon since it’s time #wish my impatiens bby didn’t still have some visible damage signs but i’m overjoyed at all the healthy new growth #more blooms moooore #“Why do you have a whole ass impatiens as a house plant. on your desk no less” #well you see #it's because it started as a grass and moss planter and every single plant from my housemate's parents yard decided to hitchhike #and somehow in all of that a wayward impatiens sprouted #I feel very fortunate for my accidental pet #it's beautiful and requires a lot of tidy-maintenence due to how fast it grows and how it just throws leaves/flowers down #the very second it's done with them #so it gives me something relaxing to take care of that rewards me with a pretty but unintentional desktop companion #plus all my other plants are toxic to cats and have to be kept away from them #this one I can keep without fear #even if it does grow like crazy and wants to be a large plant #I should name it #we've been together for a while now and i've never named it

[kissatoru]

unfriendly reminder that my blog is 18+ ONLY so put your damn AGE or an INDICATOR of it somewhere on your blog, otherwise i will just assume you’re a MINOR/don’t care about my boundaries and i WILL BLOCK YOU !!!!

#i'm sure the people who this doesn't apply to are sick of me saying/posting about this #but it's just so annoying how i'll be happy about a milestone #until i realise i probably have to block a quarter of you😐 #just cause you don't even bother reading my pinned post or byf/rules #i know it's 'not that deep' for some of you and that's probably why you don't listen/care #but i'd rather not risk the consequences of someone 17- interacting with me/my smut #also to clarify #i use tumblr mobile almost exclusively and i can't block from sideblogs on here #so i'm only able to do so when i have access to desktop #and when i do have access i'm usually doing college work #so i've only just now gotten round to actually blocking people #still not done tho #cause there's genuinely a ridiculous number of you /pos /lh #and it's taking a while since i'm checking every single person #( ★ ) psa.

[citrine-elephant]

leon s kennedy would definitely be the kind of guy to physically overexert himself and take on as much of the labor he can because he feels bad if he doesn't. even if it's fair share, he's gotta jump in and help out.

dead tired, exhausted. who cares if he's being taken advantage of and used because the other party(s) know he'll do whatever he's asked. he feels bad. he feels like he isn't doing enough.

#resident evil #hi lol this is a vent #capitalism culture is making you feel like you're never doing enough #and you know it's bullshit but! #tfw toxic masculinity pressures too #and your boss thinks that you should take on all of the physical labor because you're a man who cares if you physically cannot #and retaliates by punishing you with more and more bcuz you went to hr and politely asked if they could convince her to chill tf out- #vent in the tags #but i mean this seems canon to leon bcuz he'll sacrifice himself for anyone #fuck that #brother! #gotta force yourself to stop and think 'fuck them if they get mad i've done enough' #imagining leon being so weak he's stumbling and shaking #but then goes 'let me help with that' before passing out #leon's bitch ass is a people pleaser and he's convinced he's not! #'nah bro i just wanna help people weewoo imma cop' #nah bro ur into being stepped on! #where am i going with this idk #using my suffering to push on leon #no i dont go that far i just. feel bad if im not constantly- #anyway when i finally spoke up i started sobbin while hiding under some boxes lol #didnt realize how packed that bottle was!

[ff2-soda-pop]

I'm starting to question if I should even bother with the stupid paper.... I'm probably just gonna fail anyways lmao

#ive been running around stuck on Babysitter Duty for the past three days and the teacher only gave us any instructions on thursday yet #somehow expected a full paper done and edited by sunday. even if i wasnt stuck on babysitter duty she'd get a shitty paper just due to how #little TIME that is to get things done. but because i am on babysitter duty uhhh..... well so far there's no paper #ive been spending practically full days having to take care of my sister and i cant just Ignore Her so i havent done my paper while watchin #her because again: my focus needs to be on Her. and shes incredibly loud which makes it super hard to focus. fun combo /s #so i was like 'i'll just stay up Really Late and do it then' but that hasn't worked because my sister WONT GO TO BED if im awake. i was up #until 4am last night hoping she'd fall asleep and shut up and i could work but Nope! #and then i got too tired to even care anymore #i've tried explaining this to others and they're just like 'ok well you just need to find a way to make it work :/' which is very much #easier said than done! and im scared about this paper because this teacher doesnt accept late work at all for pretty much any reason #and im sure she wont understand my situation. because shes also the teacher that didnt understand that i didnt have the textbook on time #because it was still being shipped and i dont control the rate at which book ships and she was like #'..........okay well you still need to have the book by tomorrow at least <3' when i told her the book had Just shipped and idk when i'd ge #the dumb thing. so yknow i dont have high hopes about this #also just as extra 'make stuff more difficult' i have zero accommodations because my mom cant keep track of my fucking IEPs and they wont #let me have accommodations unless i have that and idk how to get a copy anymore. so i've also been running around with no help in that area #and it's not great </3 #idk im just stressed out and frustrated and i Want To Cry :) #vent

[hawkeyedflame]

.

#my new job is like a damn dream btw #i'm not getting paid as much as my target was but it more than makes up for it in really good work culture #and tons of employee engagement/amenities that are just fucking Nice #not that i utilize most of this but: cafe with free food and drinks. 24/7 on-site gym access. very flexible work schedule. #frequent free food events #discounts on sport/concert tickets/ski resorts/etc #unlimited PTO. tuition reimbursement. volunteer support (can take time out of your work day to do volunteer work while still getting paid). #my manager's ethic is: don't care what hours you work as long as you're here at the morning meeting and get all your work done #basically as long as i communicate i can work 7-3 or 8-4 or 9-5 or whatever suits my personal schedule #and i am allowed to leave when my work is done. no sitting around twiddling my thumbs trying to look busy #if all i have left is data analysis i can leave early and do it from home if i want #i can set up my work so that i can work from home once or twice a month. something i never thought I'd be able to do as a bench scientist #its so amazing compared to anywhere else I've worked #i'm sure it's laughable compared to the super wealthy pharma companies but those are evil places so i'm happy with this #ALSO i get regular raises and a merit bonus every year #just...wow what a great place to settle down for a few years

[kennys-parka-jacket]

Alright, time to practice some environmental self care. Or whatever it's called

#Since my mid teens i've had friends who struggled with basic things like eating and showering #After not doing these things for a while you start to feel really bad and may even do something drastic in krder to feel better #And often the solution to theor problem was just 'take a shower because you haven't done that in 2 weeks' #I don't have a problem with taking care of my body. But i do struggle with taking care of my environment #I HATE cleaning and don't really do it unless i need to. (And yes; i am not a great room mate because of this) #Right now my shower needs to be scrubbed. I feel so bad right now ajd i think i will feel better if i just get it over with #Time to practice self care; not for my body; but for my environment

[rafaelsvala]

#first thing I've done i a while in happy enough with to share #not that i care much about sharing online right now its mostly nice to have something that's like #yeah this is pretty okay #still learning the ropes ofc painting is so very different from drawing it took a while to really get #or takes #lol looking at it now if you're looking at this on your mobile it's almost life size

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan? #to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

[robinsnest2111]

always fun whenever I bring up an anecdote from my childhood and it turns out it wasn't an anecdote, but actually recounting an apparently traumatic event. at least according to the people I tell the anecdote to.

#somehow my dnd group got to the topic of punishments for bad behaviour we got from our parents as children #and i casually mentioned how i got grounded for months at a time and got basically socially isolated #also all electronics taken away and cable cut on the tv. all i had were books while i had to stay in my room #also the 10 liter buckets of cold water dumped on me and my bed when depression kept me from getting up in the mornings #all to correct bad/annoying behaviour brought on by untreated mental illness #I've lived with this for over 15 years now it's become normal to me but apparently that's not normal? #one of my dnd buddies who was in the day clinic program with me says it checks out with all the other stuff i told him about my childhood #anyway. thought of the day tbh #(clarification my parents haven't done this in YEARS it was only around the time school was still mandatory to attend for me #and my parents would've received a hefty fine if i didn't go semiregularly amd got decent grades and decent education) #now that i'm an adult with a job and am taking care of my own business they don't punish me anymore #(except the one time i was still unable to work due to chronic pain and the painsomnia made me pass out during the daytime #so my father decided to cut off wifi access from all of my electronics for weeks to 'fix me' like old times) #but that was just one thing. no biggie

[running-in-the-dark]

hm. am I downloading Night Court right now? possibly.

#don't know if I care yet #tbh I have never seen John Larroquette in anything ever (and it will take me a while until I can spell his name without checking 3 times) #before the librarians #so. I don't know. if it's a character specific thing. or if I just think he's cute. or if I think he's cute now but not when he was younger #but I will find out #because honestly it's possible that it's 90% his voice. very good voice. best voice. love it. #hmmm okay no I've just watched a clip on YouTube and he really is just very cute. damn. #annnd. oh noo. I have to check something #oh crap Brent spiner was born in 1949. that means this is. if my brain decides that this is gonna be something. the first time it's someone #older than my dad :') don't like that #but! my dad's dead! so who gives a fuck! #I'm fine. :) #(also damn I'm lucky my dad was so very very old. otherwise that would have happened much sooner) #(guess I'm joking about that now! interesting development) #anyway yeah he cute. though cuter now tbh. might be the belly. idk. this is very confusing and unusual for me #especially. since. the other crush. is not even close to being over. that's not something that happens. and it's already very bad rn. soo. #that should be interesting. maybe I should just forget all about it and not look at him again when I'm done with the show in a few hours #that'd be best I think (doesn't mean I'll listen to my own advice. he is a man and he is cute so. I've already lost) #it's just. I see Jenkins and it's like. JENKINS!! 😍😍😍😍 I'm very weak #and he's so funny 😔 #sigh. #just be normal 🤦🤦🤦 #i don't know if it makes it better or worse that I'm fully aware that this is most likely happening because I'm in the middle of some sort #of crisis right now and that's how I've always coped but. eh it is what it is #trying to be nicer to this stupid brain and all that #let it have fun looking at an old man it's fine

[forthedancingandthethriving]

"This can't be real.. This can't.. The Admins, grandpas and grandma.. I.."

"I apologize, but including Dr. Avis's inability to completely slow your aging, a new age has descended on the Mushroom Kingdom. There's been no outside power able to fix this."

○●○

Meet "In Regards To Enternity Goes Horribly Wrong" AU Timeline. The kickoff is that Lily isn't able to recover from what happened and fell into a coma. Assigned to a Dr. Avis, things quickly went downhill.

From the Estrellas release, to virus attacks, and much more, the Mushroom Kingdom was in ruin and anarchy. People get desperate, and some people turned to necromancy to try and get some semblance back. Unfortunately, a certain cult leader uses this as a way to get out.

Following this, and many other situations cutting off the world from the Adminspace, doing something to the USB Trio, and the crew being split up, Lily is left in the care of Dr. Avis and Young Effective Memory Recollection Unit, or YEMRU for short. Following the kingdom being split into quadrants, Dr. Avis, Lily, and YEMRU unfortunately end up in Lady Rose's.

Dr. Avis can not live forever, so she gives YEMRU instructions. She unfortunately wasn't able to slow down Lily's aging, as it became apparent that this new kingdom was the new normal, so if Lily ever does end up waking anytime soon, she at the very least will be a young teen.

YEMRU is instructed to, once Dr. Avis inevitably passes, never let Lily out of his sight. He's to be her companion, and make sure she ends up okay. Boyfriend, Girlfriend, (yes, from FNF, sue me I'm on a kick of it), and MK Hatsune Miku end up stumbling on the hideout, and she entrusts them to the same task as YEMRU. She does what she did to Lily to them, and time moves on. (I like to think Lily in both this and the main timeline is close with them, due to the whole music thing.)

Lily does end up waking up, but not before so much time has passed that she's now around 15. She's very clearly confused and disoriented, but the group explains to her the best they can. Mr L is unfortunately one of the quadrant leaders, and considering his and Lady Rose's past agreement, Lily already has a terrible feeling.

Explaining all that they know, Lily becomes a deadset on figuring out what's happened and how to fix it. Knowing she's serious, the group agrees, and they all set out to figure out what's happened, see if the Crew is alive, and hope and pray that this can all be fixed.

#oc: lily #oc: dr avis #program: YEMRU #fnf boyfriend #fnf girlfriend #hatsune miku #!posts! #dim quadrants au #i have something very cruel for Root and LC planned in this. Lets just say they can be converted/used as sources of power #this won't be a main focus but I've had this au on the backburner for a while and I needed it OUT #I plan to introduce Dr. Avis and YEMRU to the main timeline soon! just need to figure out how.... #Lily is very much not ok in this au but shes glad to have these four with her #She Will Kill Lady Rose and maybe Mr L #But also maybe she'll let the Admins deal with it if she finds a way to contact them #(USB Trio is a no-go because of a certain technology...) #YEMRU is my silly little guy.. he just wants to help out and keep people happy #BF will throw hands for Lily because of how good a rap opponent she is and he does genuinely care #GF meanwhile just likes Lily and Miku will forever be mad at how Lily was treated in her youth #In Regards To Eternity takes place after Fleeting Sands in this so we have Root #listen its the weakest arc Ive done I can bullshit that one all I want

[greppelheks]

I think I'm slowly starting to understand that me being constantly exhausted is just because I'm finally safe and my body is no longer running on adrenaline and cortisol all the time. I've been fighting against the exhaustion for over a year but I haven't actually allowed myself to rest without feeling guilty.

#personal #I need to learn how to relax and do one thing at a time and to not put myself in so many stressful situations #I'm allowing myself to sleep in #to read more #to start my day with something enjoyable like a walk or a nice long breakfast instead of a stressful to do list #I'm setting boundaries around being available to work on my days off #I'm taking days off of work #I'm allowing myself to just sit and be and read and have a drink at a cafe somewhere #without it being something rushed #I just need to.. REST this year #I've done the self care bit like the meditation and the yoga and the walks but it's always been something #and I've only relaxed while feeling guilty and multi tasking #I just need to really and truly relax; in a way where it's not a to do list #my favorite restaurant is closed on mondays #but they're located at a big lawn with chairs and benches #and I went there after work to just read my book for 2 hours #in the shadow and the breeze on a hot day #and I felt sad depressed but it was actually really nice #making some dinner now (easy dinner) and watching a tv show

[dandyshucks]

if I try to mess with the eyes on the first one anymore I'm going to lose my mind DBDNDML so here have some self insert art,,,, also the houndoom was largely copied from someone else's art (dvixie/SkyVixie on deviantart, the art seems to have been taken down from their gallery though, I just found the art on pinterest and then had to track down the artist fjfkdl idk why ppl repost art with no credit 😭), I was trying to just get a feel for drawing them so I figured (HEAVILY) referencing someone else's piece would be alright for this sort of personal art thing!!

#aaaand I'll turn off rbs too djdksl i dont want to take any credit for that houndoom #i changed a couple minor things but dbfkdl it rly is just me looking at that other person's art and trying to draw it myself #it was good for getting a feel for how to draw them though!!! this was before the other art featuring houndoom i did a while ago #so i think it helped a lot to be able to draw houndoom again on my own this time fjfkdjdl #gave me a feel for placement and anatomy and whatnot #i know copying is largely considered to be Bad in the art community but if u do it the right way i think it can be beneficial to ur art #u just have to be careful and not claim credit for it fjdkl like... idk be smart and respectful #i think this is the first time I've ever done smth like this actually SNDKSL #the closest i get to copying is using free-to-use pose bases occasionally and even then i sometimes clarify in the tags that im using one #every day i fear someone will walk up and show all the drawings I've used free-to-use pose bases for #and be like AHA. I'VE FOUND YOU OUT. YOU'RE A FAKE ARTIST!!!! #and its like... no... i just like using free-to-use pose bases sometimes DBDJDKL #takes out the work of figuring out posing sometimes when im tired of coming up w my own fjfkdl #ANYWAYS. RAMBLE OVER SORRY SNDJFKDL #moral of the story: if u copy art just do it in a respectful and clear way and don't take credit for it when its not yours sbdjdksl #okay im going to skedaddle off this post before i stick my foot in my mouth if i havent already djdkdls WAUGH i am afraid of posting this #but i want to share self insert stuff somewhere sjfjdkl and i like the human posing i did on the second one so... SIGH. #dandy.cmd #doodlebug.png #junebug 🪲

[dredshirtroberts]

okay. i cleared out the space under my bed so the princess will have so much MORE room for activities than she previously did. at least until Saturday and we move to the new place and she can decide if she's going to play nice with the boys finally.

#i was really underutilizing the under the bed space #not that i had a lot that could go in there but like just conceptually there was a lot of open space #also a whole fuckin pillow for some reason #anyway... my bookshelf STILL has books on it 3 bankers boxes later #i have a BAJILLION chotchkies i gotta figure out how to transport (absolutely already have gotten rid of things that aren't important) #(still have approximately a bajillion don't at me bro i know) #we're gonna figure out the stuffy transport situation #i'm planning on just throwing my clothes into the back of my car wherever there's space when we get to that part #because fuck it i don't care if it's enclosed in something if it gets dirty there's a washer and dryer in the new place #and i've already got plans to wash so much clothing #i have a whole ass hangup about laundry and i'm going to do my best to overcome that this next year #i'm also trying really hard not to overspend on spoons because i want to be able to help AND enjoy my birthday activities #(weather permitting) on friday AND also be kind of useful while we're settling into the new place over the next week #it is very nice that i do not have to do everything all by myself because i've been able to take the rest breaks i need #i'm doing very good at not panicking i'm really hoping it'll last until we're most of the way done already and i can just #point to all the things that are already done and go ''eh it's fine see?'' at myself #and then not actually panic. #we'll see how that goes lmao #okay lunch time i gotta get up and do that before i forget i preheated the oven

[factorialsotherfandoms]

There's always the third option for who murdered the Federation worker - there was talk at one point of black&red Cucurucho being from a universe where /everyone/ had a warped copy. It was on one of Philza's streams, but I don't remember whose idea it was.

So it's always possible that's true and parallel dimension Cellbit has slipped on through.

I don't consider it especially likely but its possible.

#qsmp rambling #The two other theories I've seen is he did it or he was framed #I'd say if he was framed it was probably Brazilian Cucurucho and this is his punishment for the minimes? #Try and make it so the islanders never trust him to lead a mission again while taking everyone he cares about #And trashing all the work he's done for himself #Tbh I wouldn't be looking at framing theory except how he ended his last stream being more burnt out than murder vibes #And I just don't get even slightly on with the trope of when you get mentally vibe you become a danger to people around you #Or the idea that once a criminal is always a criminal #And there's not actually hope for people and that there's some things even if you try you'll always end up back in #Hate that one too but the first is the one I find actively unwatchable and drop media over #Most of this is just media preferences no hate or anything intended #Eh he's not a streamer at a timezone I make often #It's just Cellbit is such an important figure on the island to the islanders that no matter who I watch it's going to come up #So we'll see #I may just duck whenever it comes up in whatever stream I'm watching for 10 minutes #Its workable #Ish