#while simultaneously becoming very lonely

[growingstories]

Danny the feeder

At 36 years old, Danny was in amazing shape, tall, very handsome and had a big paycheck as a freelance tax consultant. He was a proud gay man and a fitness freak, spending hours in the gym sculpting his physique. However, Danny had a peculiar habit that raised a few eyebrows among his friends.

Danny had a tendency to seek out young, ripped men at gay bars and take them home. But instead of pursuing typical romantic relationships, he would shower them with gifts, cook delicious meals, and pay for everything. He would manipulate them into eating more, making them lazy, and ultimately causing them to gain weight. Once they complained about their newfound weight and planning on losing weight, Danny would break up with them and move on to his next victim.

One day, Danny met Diego, a student from Brazil. Diego fell head over heels for Danny, enticed by not only the great sex but also the lavish meals, gifts, and new clothes. However, as time went on, Diego began to feel lonely and lazy. Danny forbade Diego from going to the gym without him or going out in general. Danny would make sure to keep Diego busy with big meals, Netflix series, expensive gifts and sex, lots of sex. Danny was hitting Diego up and lured him into eating a bit more in return of a blowjob or all the way. Diego would be too full and tired to get out of bed which gives Danny time for a good workout. Danny would let Diego stay in bed for days bringing him more food and sex. The only time Diego would be outside was for his classes or to drive from home to a restaurant for a lavish meal combined with lots of booze followed by passionate sex.

Three months into their relationship, Diego found himself ten kilograms heavier, feeling lazy, and having lost his coveted six-pack. Danny, however, had already started shopping for bigger-sized clothes to accommodate Diego's expanding waistline. Diego wanted to eat healthy again and go to the gym to get back in shape, which led to many very heated arguments with Danny. Danny labeled un himgrateful and tossed him out of his place.

Back in his dorm, Diego found himself broke and with clothes that no longer fit him. Six months passed, and in a desperate attempt to move on, Diego decided to visit a gay bar. There, he struck up a conversation with handsome Thomas, a cute nerd with a bit of a potbelly. However, Thomas revealed that he was already in a relationship but promissed to stay in contact as friends.

Curiosity sparked, Diego checked Thomas's Instagram and discovered that Thomas was Danny's new boyfriend. Thomas, too, had fallen victim to Danny's manipulative ways, as evident by his potbelly becoming more prominent with each passing week on social media.

Diego started chatting to Thomas determined to help both himself and Thomas escape from Danny's clutches, Diego told him how he himself was being manipulated to eat more and gain weight. Thomas was surprised to hear that Danny would do this to guys. Diego asked how Thomas was allowed to leave the house without him. Thomas told Diego that he had been in in the house for 4 days of not stop eating, Netlfix and sex and that he really needed to leave so he did without Danny. Danny was furious when he got home and played the victim. Thomas felt sorry for Danny and gave him another chance, resulting into more eating and control by Danny. Diego concocted a plan and asked Thomas to trust him and do what he would say.

Diego started to flirt with Danny online, showcasing his new and improved body. Even though he never git his six pack back he looked better then ever. Danny, unable to resist the temptation, invited Diego to a restaurant. Danny informed Thomas that he had a business engagement and would be home at 8, while simultaneously Diego instructed Thomas to prepare a sumptuous dinner for himself and Danny.

At the restaurant, Diego ordered large meals, feigning an inability to finish them. Danny, eager to please Diego, gladly polished off the leftovers. Back at home, Thomas prepared an indulgent dinner, but Danny claimed he wasn't hungry. Thomas persisted with his questions of where he was until Danny finally relented and ate to avoid further interrogation.

This pattern continued for several weeks, with Thomas and Diego successfully luring Danny into overeating. Thomas noticed Danny's abs becoming less defined and shared his observations with Diego, confirming that their plan was indeed working. Thomas too, continued to gain weight as Danny kept feeding him snacks and binge watch nights of Netflix. Together, Diego and Thomas initiated phase two.

Diego invited Danny over to his place, ensuring that Thomas could go to the gym while Danny was occupied with him. Thomas prepared a breakfast for Danny upon his return, followed by morning intimacy. Then, as Danny headed off to work, Diego had a big dinner prepared to satiate Danny's ever-growing appetite.

Weeks went by, and Danny expanded larger and larger, becoming an ex-jock with a prominent belly. People at the gym started to make remarks about his weight gain, but he dismissed these comments by claiming that he was bulking up. Still addicted to the attention, the sex, and the food, Danny continued to eat whatever Thomas and Diego served him in exchange for their affection.

Months passed, and Danny's once athletic physique was now unrecognizable. With a big belly and struggling to tie his shoes, Danny found himself helpless and unable to stop. He pleaded with Diego to stop cooking such lavish meals, but Diego shut him down, reminding him to eat his food or there would be no sex. Thomas followed suit, and Danny resigned himself to this new reality. But also Diego and Thomas could’t keep up with the amounts of food they were having. Diego started to grow a belly again and Thomas just continued to grow bigger. It was really urgent to change.

Phase four was the final stage of their plan. Both Thomas and Diego decided to break up with Danny simultaneously, leaving him completely surprised. They told Danny the truth about how Danny had manipulated and mistreated them, using food as a weapon to control their weight. Danny broke down in tears, expressing sincere remorse and apologizing to both of them. Danny had transformed into a blimp of his former self, and he didn't know where to start on his journey toward redemption. It was at this moment that Thomas and Diego, having seen the error of their ways, decided to show compassion and take care of Danny. Despite their tumultuous history, they began to rebuild their friendship, ensuring that Danny remained full and satisfied so that he wouldn't be driven to manipulate and harm others again.

#fictionalweightgain #maleweightgain #maleweightgainstories #weightgain #weightgainstories #fictionalstories #wg fantasy #wg fiction #exjock #aiweightgain

[vinelark]

ALL timkon recs I BEG

hello hi! here are some of my favs! it got long so putting some under the cut

💄 Lipstick on the glass by @cairoscene read for timkon being soft and goofy and disgustingly in love, set in vague future college-y years with amazing core four dynamics too. cair is one of the funniest people to ever exist and we are so blessed that they decided to write some timkon. (also read for my own greatest contribution to literature, the fictional “jerry the void nexus” meme)

🎢 been a number and a name by @wynterstars i had SO MUCH FUN reading this one, a 90s comics-divergent AU where robin and superboy become friends—and crushes—when superboy is pretty new on the scene. feat. lex luthor being terrible, tim staging a rescue operation that at one point involves platform shoes and a blonde wig, spice girls references, and fantastic action sequences. it’s also a series, with an installment focusing on kon & clark, and a currently updating longfic sequel with SO MANY timkon identity shenanigans (my beloved) and kon feelings (also my beloved).

📸 the surveillance series by @smilebackwards i feel like i rec this all the time but it’s because it’s THAT GOOD. a tim-centric AU where tim joins the family late, but is still involved in bat business without the bats realizing. there’s some fun timkon identity shenanigans at the top, and some of my all-time favorite tim characterization (ruthless! lonely! brilliant!) plus a great tim & bruce arc, too.

🦉 Detours by miyaji_08 this is part 2 of a series and i def recommend reading the whole thing! a reverse robins + joker jr au that has lots of trauma and lots of healing, and in part 2 there’s timkon identity shenanigans that’s simultaneously enemies to lovers + And They Were Roommates. tim sure does run a gauntlet of horrors in this series, but it has so much healing and also one of my fav reverse robins concepts i’ve read so far.

📱 unfurl by @burins tim and kon might be dating, and there’s no kryptonian sex ed handy. bruce, being bruce, makes it his business, which means talking to clark and Realizing some things about his own feelings. superbat are billed first here, but i think timkon steal the show—i laughed out loud like five different times reading this. hilarious and sweet on all sides. (and if you like this, check out their timkon road trip fic!)

🌾 A Saturday Evening by malcyon in which tim visits the kent farm for family dinner with kon, feat. very sweet established relationship timkon and fun superfamily dynamics, and it touches on tim’s past grief over kon’s death (and complicated feelings post-undeath).

🤼‍♂️ Sore Loser by @hearteyeshayley kon learns that tim always let him win while sparring, and has to process that. this was such a fun exploration of tim’s prowess as a fighter—one who regularly has to go up against superpowered friends and foes alike—and also tim as a person who is always doing mental calculations about the people around him (in an endearing way). kon, too, got his time to shine and grow, and the ending was so smart and sweet.

🔮 Ascension by Violet_Witch an AU longfic where tim is a witchling and kon is a fallen angel who has (oops) just lost his wings. tim sets out to help get kon’s wings back, and there’s a ticking clock because angel wings are dangerous in the wrong hands—and tim has a big, horrible secret that’s about to come due. the plot/worldbuilding of this was WILDLY cool, and there was a big ol misunderstanding in the middle that had me clawing my face off (in a good way).

🌌 straight on ’til morning by merils kon vs. the terrifying ordeal of growing up, feat. sweet friends-to-lovers timkon and really thoughtful exploration of some of kon’s canon past relationships and their abusive dynamics. i haven’t finished this one yet but it’s been rec’d multiple times and i’m excited to dive back in (and it's recently complete!)—and what i have read so far gave me an amazing sequence of kon and dick interacting and dick’s big brother mode activating in an instant, which is something i now desperately need more of.

📧 aaaand would it even be a reclist by me if i didn’t include send to all by @cairoscene the absolute moment i find myself feeling down i go reread this and boom. i am instantly laughing again. timkon are just one part of a bat grab-bag here but they are so so funny and cute and in-character. maybe one day i’ll compile the timkon-centric sequel that exists in my head but for now i’ll just go reread this for the zillionth time.

okay yeah!! i’m probably missing so many good fics here because i constantly have like a zillion tabs open that i plan to read someday. also i reserve the right to reblog later like OH I FORGOT— but in the meanwhile, happy timkon reading!

#timkon #fic rec #asks

[firefirefruit]

Steel in Her Veins, Chapter: Nine

Read On: AO3 | Table of Contents | Next Chapter

Characters: Fem!Reader x Roronoa Zoro

Chapter Nine: The Niece of Oden

The niece of Oden. That’s all you were to them. A female, no less. From the earliest whispers of instruction, the expectations were clear: sit gracefully, adorn yourself, and be the picture of delicate beauty.

While boys of Wano honed their skills with blades, you were relegated to the sidelines. They immersed themselves in the rigorous dance of training, bodies bathed in sweat, their knees buckling under the weight of relentless practice. The air carried the pungent aroma of dried mud and the metallic tang of spilled blood.

As nightfall draped the land in obsidian hues, you sought solace by the window, palms pressed against the cold glass. Your eyes traced the graceful arcs of the boys’ swords, their movements unfolding like a mesmerising dance. In those stolen moments, you yearned to understand the visceral satisfaction of exertion, the sensation of hard-earned sweat trickling down your face. You pondered whether your blood bore the same crimson hue as theirs, if your lungs could inhale the world as expansively as theirs did.

You never chose this life - to be related to Oden. Even now, beneath the flickering flames in the quiet of the night, with molten metal as your only companion, you entertain the notion of an alternate destiny. A life where another name might grant you the freedom to seamlessly slip into the revered mantle of a female samurai.

From an early age, your spirit rebelled against the stifling norms. While boys unleashed battle cries and practiced their swordplay on training dummies, your own voice echoed too loudly, your spirit too untamed for their liking. The chastisements rained down upon you, attempting to stifle the echoes of your free-spirited defiance. Yet, your determination, hard-headed and resolute, only strengthened with each admonishment.

The moment your desire to become a samurai slipped past your lips, the ancestral hall became a theatre of amusement. Laughter, like a gathering storm, rolled through the room, carrying with it the weight of generations of ingrained expectations.

As the echoes of their amusement reverberated off the solemn walls, the clan members, adorned in traditional Kozuki garb, revealed expressions ranging from amused condescension to incredulous disdain. It was as if the very foundations of propriety had been jostled by your audacious revelation.

Among the sea of scoffs and smirks, a voice jeered through the laughter, a biting remark that lingered in the air like a venomous serpent.

"Who's been letting her play with boys?"

The mockery, though veiled in jest, carried the unspoken assumption that the realm of samurai was a sacred domain, exclusive to the masculine.

A second dissenting voice chimed in, objecting with the weight of tradition.

"Not fitting for a Kozuki girl!"

"Maybe more etiquette lessons would be in order..." Another offered.

The proposal, wrapped in the guise of refinement, hinted at the need to redirect your ambitions toward the prescribed path of a demure Kozuki lady.

In the face of the anticipated derision that permeated the room, you stood resolute, a lone figure amidst a sea of mocking adults. Their condescending smirks and dismissive glances were met with a quiet certainty—a knowing glint in your eyes that betrayed a secret plan unfolding.

The impending act, the linchpin to reshape your destiny, unfolded with stolen glue in your possession. Each precious drop was meticulously squeezed into your cupped palms, and with deliberate intent, you coated both your hair and hands in the viscous substance.

The room held its breath as you slammed one hand and the cascade of glue-laden hair to the floor. Simultaneously, your other hand clung to your eyebrows, and your penetrating glare cut through the stunned silence.

"I yearn for more!" your voice echoed. "If my existence is confined to the spectacle of long hair and a pleasant smile, then I’m prepared to tear it all away! I am ready to sacrifice!"

The gravity of your proclamation hung in the air, a potent declaration of defiance that resonated through the room. The room held a palpable tension, like a gathering storm waiting to unleash its fury.

The glue clung to your hair and hands, a sticky emblem of rebellion against the predetermined fate assigned to you as the cousin of Oden's children.

As the silence hung in the air, broken only by the ticking of the clock, your eyes locked onto a familiar face—the former shogun seated behind the imposing Kozuki conference table. It was an unspoken agreement; a pact of silence from all in that room that spared you from immediate retribution.

His chair creaked as he rose, the wood protesting against the movement, and the room seemed to hold its breath as heavy footsteps approached your defiant form. Was it the glue that clouded your senses, or was it the fear that gripped your heart? The distinction blurred in the gravity of the moment.

With a deliberate grace, the former shogun knelt down, a glint of curiosity flickering in his eyes as he surveyed the empty glue tube. His thumb idly twirled across the cap, and a grin crept onto his weathered face.

"Nice move," he commented, the pride thick in his voice. "I was wondering when you were going to steal that.”

🂇

You wake up with a groan, feeling the slow passage of time like glue dripping, glue that resists to harden, at the tips of your fingers. Like glue…Glue…?

Your fingers gingerly touch your head, half-expecting to come in contact with a thick glaze of glue smeared over a crop of torn hair, but with a relieved sigh, you feel the soft brown strands that spill across instead.

Impassively, you stare at the ship’s ceiling. That dream…A smile curls widely on your lips as you remember. Dare you say, you’re still impressed with the younger you who was ready to risk it all – even her eyebrows.

“You’re awake.” Robin smiles, two cups of tea balancing in her fingers as she steps into the study.

Using your elbows, you push up from your makeshift bed, returning her smile as she silently offers you a steaming cup. The sight warms your heart, and you take the cup graciously.

"I bet I'm the last one to wake up, huh?" you muse, glancing at the hue of the afternoon sun. Its light orange tone indicates that it's still relatively early in the day. Robin laughs a little, shaking her head.

"No, actually. Everyone else is still knocked out, except for Zoro. I like to research, and Zoro, training…" she mentions, settling at the end of your bed.

“I’m sorry I had to stay over - I didn’t want to impose.”

Robin laughs. “Honestly, I’m surprised Luffy didn’t take this as a chance to sail away and keep you hostage.”

As you two curl on the bed, a brief moment of comfortable silence washes across the room. You look through the window again, passively staring at the lapping waves, lips firmly pursed.

What happened last night? You faintly remember drinking a lot, taking shots with Franky, eagerly involving yourself in a battle of cards with Robin…You remember Luffy who wrapped his arms around you, pulling you and Usopp to dance. And…and then…?

And then, what?

Suddenly, a fragment of a memory flashes into you like thunder. Your body tenses, your throat tightening.

And…Gramps’ face. Glancing across his shoulder every so often while some sort of darkness consumed his countenance. And when he would catch you looking – well, he’d just grin and stretch, turning himself away from you.

“Raya?” Robin lowers her book from her eyes, concern staining them. Her eyes flicker to your blanket, a slight sheet of frost twinkling across its cotton fabric.

Well, that’s embarrassing. That’s like the equivalent of pissing your pants.

"I’m just thinking," you quickly respond, forcing out a wobbly smile. Your desperate eyes pierce Robin’s; hers, naturally, narrow in reply. “Did my old man stay over?”

With a raised eyebrow, Robin fully sets her book down on her lap with a sense of alertness. “No, he went back when you went to sleep.”

Your gaze quickly shifts back to the window, trying to stifle down the dread that was now surging through you

Robin's usually composed expression transforms into one of genuine concern, her eyes narrowing with worry. When she finally speaks, her voice carries an unusual weight. "Is everything alright?"

You can't bear to stay in the study any longer. The weight of unspoken dread pushes you to rise abruptly, stumbling outside like an inmate escaping prison. The rhythmic clinking of weights fills the deck, an abrupt stop signalling Zoro's attention as you quickly descend the stairs.

Fumbling with your hair, you rush to the barrel of swords by the dock. Pulling one out, you sling the scabbard off from its steel with a sense of urgency. A muttered curse slips through your lips as you observe the blade, realising these are the non-valuables – I mean, who needs the real ones for a fucking play?

Your gaze narrows, glaring profoundly at the edge of the metal as if sheer willpower could reshape it into a more suitable weapon. The air thickens with tension, the clinking weights forgotten as Zoro's gruff voice breaks through the atmosphere.

"Where're you going?" His voice, a low growl, resonates behind you, the weights quickly set aside, wiping sweat from his brow with a swift motion.

Without turning to face him, you sheathe the sword with hurry; it's not the ideal choice for a fight, but it'll have to do. A sense of determination seeps into your movements, fuelled by your unknown anxiety of a potential situation. Your response to Zoro is abrupt, tinged with emergency.

"Home."

With that, you make a run for it. Desperation fuels your steps, sweat beads forming across your brow as you reach the peak of the hill. The gravity of your tone didn't escape Zoro's keen perception, of course not; the distant sounds from down by the dock tell you he's shot up from his spot, and the clink of three metal weapons against wood signifies his preparation to follow.

As you slip into the cracks, you hear heavy footsteps sliding and crunching against gravel, catching up to you. Zoro easily trails behind, his eye flickering with silent questions, your grave expression reflecting in his alert gaze.

“I don’t have time to bicker,” you say, your voice echoing against the sloping planes of the cave. You turn to give him a pointed look. “I’m not going to ask why you’re here. Just… stay alert.”

The cave's second opening looms ahead, and the darkness inside seems to swallow your form as you rush forward, leaving the open air behind. The tension hangs in the air like a storm on the horizon, threatening to unleash its fury.

As both you and Zoro reach the end of the cave – a small, serene opening beaming with the familiar field and rolling hills in view – there's one small detail that stains your relief, justifying your earlier inexplicable feeling of dread.

A colossal shadow, tangible and three-dimensional, yet feathered around its edges, looms over your home. The grass and flowers, once lively, now brush around its gasping form, wilting as if drained of life.

The shadow pivots, almost as if it senses your hitching breath. And you feel the blood rush out of you. A sense of terror grips you as you witness its form—a pure void, a silhouette of a body in shades of purple and black, bruised and glinting like polluted smoke in the air. No distinct features, no nose, no mouth, no fingers or feet…

Your heart hammers in your chest and a sense of fury tightens your grip around the hilt of your sword.

No eyebrows, no hair, no lashes or nails…

All but for one feature.

Large, unblinking, magenta eyeballs gaze at you.

They float in the places of where eyes should be, sure, but they’re…they’re just eyeballs.

Eyes amidst a shroud of all-consuming darkness.

#one piece #one piece zoro #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro #one piece luffy #luffy #monkey d luffy #one piece ace #straw hat pirates #usopp #sanji #tony tony chopper #nico robin #straw hat luffy #one piece fanfiction #one piece fic #one piece fanfic #op fanfic #op fandom #female reader x zoro #zoro x female reader #zoro x fem reader #three sword style #zoro roronoa #zoro rorono x you #zoro roronoa x y/n #straw hats

[soudakuwunmoment]

About Dirk's role in the downfall of DirkJake

I mentioned recently in a post that I don't like DirkJake as much as I used to, and credited that to how Jake treated Dirk before they broke up. I know it's far more popular to say the breakup was Dirk's fault, but I'm here to add my perspective, because I truly don't think this is entirely the case.

Disclaimer, I am BIASED AS SHIT. I LOVE Dirk as a character, I relate to him on many levels, and his breakup with Jake is one of those levels. I was in Dirk's place a few years ago in a near identical situation, with a partner who was dissatisfied with our relationship and refused to tell me, while simultaneously distancing from me in a way which was incredibly unhealthy. I don't hold it against him now, and neither do I hold it against Jake. Both were teenagers. Immature and scared. However, while this gives me bias, I also think it gives me a unique perspective and experience in this exact situation. I think I have a place discussing this.

So, where to start? Well, first of all, let's establish what the issue was and how it led to the breakup.

After the time skip, we see that Jake is frustrated with how clingy and overbearing Dirk is being. He is overwhelmed by the intensity of the relationship, but is too scared to say anything because he doesn't want to upset Dirk or put them on bad terms. After all, Jake DOES love Dirk, despite what many people think. Having issues with your partner does not automatically mean you don't love them. In response to Jake's distant behavior, Dirk tries especially hard to impress him, make him happy. Dirk is anxious; he has been lonely his whole life, and has loved Jake for 3 years at that point. He is finally physically close with someone who he loves and is having his feelings returned. But now he senses that he might lose that. Dirk is VERY proactive about his problems, and is notoriously a chronic overthinker. So, Dirk attempts to "mend" things. He offers adventures and treasure and tombs; Jakes favorite things. Jake doesn't see Dirk's intentions and is oblivious to how anxious he is. He doesn't read behind the lines and therefore comes to the conclusion that Dirk has just been far too clingy lately. And so, we have a vicious situation. Jake's reaction to Dirk's clinginess is to hide, and Dirk's reaction to Jake's distance is to overcompensate and be more affectionate. It's a cycle that only gets worse the longer it's left unchecked.

So how can this be solved? Communication, obviously. It's the key to healthy relationships. I feel very strongly about that.

Both parties could do to communicate their exact thoughts, but in reality, Jake is more at fault. Sure, it would help if Dirk were to express specifically that he is anxious about the relationship and that's why he's being more clingy. But realistically, Does Dirk know that? Is he self aware enough of his actions? He never makes it clear whether he is. And him saying this to Jake, while it would help, it would only get them so far. The responsibility ends up on Jake. After all, Jake is fully aware of the reason for his behavior, we KNOW this. He tells us why he is doing what he's doing. And if he were to express this to Dirk, it would not only soothe his anxiety ("I see, so Jake isn't avoiding me because he doesn't love me/there's something wrong with me") but it would also spark a conversation about what to do about their situation. Perhaps a "I will give you the space you need so long as you don't become too distant/spend time with me" from Dirk, or an "I will spend more time with you so long as you respect my wishes when I wish to be alone" from Jake. But no, they can't have this conversation, specifically because Dirk does not know WHY Jake is becoming distant. Yes, Dirk DOES know Jake wants space. He is aware of this. But he does not know WHY. This is why he is anxious; he thinks it's because of his own personality or because he is a burden or because he is "toxic" as he often describes himself. And as long as Dirk is anxious, he will become "aggressive" in his clinginess. Sure, you could say this is a negative trait of his, but it can be avoided with communication, VERY easily.

You can say the breakup is Dirks fault all you want, and yes, he plays a role. But my opinion is that if either of them were to be considered a victim of the other, Dirk was the one who suffered more as a result of Jake's refusal to communicate.

#homestuck #hs #dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #this is one hell of a controversial take #but i stand by it with every goddamn cell of my being #which isnt a lot of cells #but its all i got #so its the thought that counts #i think #anyways yeah fuck jake honestly #im projecting i know #but let me have this

[transtalesofdoom]

The Label Thing - personal experience

I've talked previously about labels I've considered, used, or decided not to use in passing. Let's talk about it in a bit more detail!

I like labels. It's a personal preference, and I understand why someone wouldn't, but I like having words to describe myself with. I like having a handful of terms to explain my experiences quickly. I also like knowing that there's more people with these experiences, grouped under my label. Makes it feel a little less lonely.

Before the whole gender thing, I had already picked out the labels of biromantic asexual. Gender never really meant anything to me, and why would I care about stuff like genitals if I didn't intend to interact with them. Opted for bi over pan because it sounded nicer and the flag was prettier.

And then the gender thing happened and I suddenly had an entirely new experience to describe. One that was still developing.

The first day after I had come out to myself, I neither liked the term "man" nor "trans" for myself. Both seemed too solid for what I was. I was a dude or a guy, but a man? There's the whole societal aspect to it, how trans men can get treated poorly for "becoming the enemy", that I won't get into here, but it definitely was at play. And "trans" had an oddly definitive feeling to it. Like I had a gender and goal in mind, when I very much didn't. This was weird to me, because I knew that's not how the label is used. Anything that isn't cis can be labeled as trans. But at first it felt like I was appropriating it.

Nonbinary was a pretty safe catch-all. I was, by the very definition, not binary. Nor did I think anyone else was, but that was beside the point. Genderqueer was another option worth considering, since my gender was most definitely queer, but something about it didn't really click with me. Maybe it was the flag and the fact that certain trans-exclusionists used the same colors because they fancied themselves suffragettes.

I became a little more comfortable with it as the compound of transmasc. That was me. I was transing into the masculine. Not very committal, but a descriptor of what I was up to with the gender.

I still liked the term "woman", weirdly enough. Having watched so many Woman-Power movies (shoutout to Oceans 8 and Birds of Prey specifically), it had taken a while for me to fully embrace that label to begin with, and once I had managed to find it empowering, I didn't want to let go of it again. Even if I was transmasc, "Woman" by Kesha was too good of a song to leave behind. I was a motherfucking woman!

I did a bit more snooping around into other labels to see if anything would stick. I found and read the comics by ND Stevenson, and came across the ones where he describes being bigender. And I liked that description. It resonated with me. Especially because he references the Kesha song, I guess. 'Vibrating between genders too fast to see' felt relatable. So maybe I was bigender?

But I wasn't vibrating between male and female. Those were a part of it, sure, but there was more. And also less. I was every gender and no gender simultaneously. And while that is a possible subgroup of bigender, it once again felt like using the term, although I liked it, wouldn't properly convey my experience.

That night I decided to coin "fuckgender", only to discover that not only did this label already exist, but it also described exactly what I was feeling. (Not to be confused with genderfuck.) And yet, while that was a fun little anecdote, it wasn't what I wanted from a label. And the fact that other people were using it, thereby turning it into a functioning microlabel, made it less appealing to me, somehow.

Instead, I decided to embrace "trans" as an umbrella term for the time being. I didn't really need to define it any further. "transmasculine nonbinary" worked well enough to convey my identity to others. I could elaborate for those who wanted to know more. For myself, the label was the same as my gender. It was kinda there and kinda not, both everything and nothing all at once. More of a general vibe than an actual word.

And that works for now. Maybe that will change. Probably, even. I might embrace bigender, or multigender, I might find my trans experience to be binary enough to go by trans man. Maybe I'll do a U-turn and become a nonbinary woman.

There's only one way to find out and personally, I'm excited for it.

#trans #transgender #personal #crimes against the gender convention #genderqueer #lgbtq #nonbinary #queer #nb #enby #transmasc #transmaculine #bigender #multigender #labels #label #microlabels #trans positivity #trans experience

[waffleweirdo]

Thinking a lot about Junna and Nana today.

Nana started her loops to protect the other stage girls from the future (obviously in her own twisted way, but she still believes this). Yet Junna is constantly looking for a star in the future and seeking growth. Especially considering the Revue of Hunting, it seems like Nana wanted to protect Junna from a future where Nana believed she would fail.

It makes me think a lot about their relationship. In the Overture manga (the chapter where they both run for president) it’s pretty clearly shown that they both have been incredibly lonely and how that has affected them. They have had struggles with people believing in them for choosing to become stage girls. Junna with her family, and Nana with her being abandoned by Hisame. They have had a lot of shared experiences, and I think most crucially shared fears.

The two of them relate to each other a lot. And rely on each other for support too. But they still don’t really understand each other. I mean they had been roommates for months before they ever started using each others first names. Junna remarks how she doesn’t know anything about Nana in episode 9. The two of them are simultaneously transparent to each other, and obscured. They understand each others weaknesses incredibly clearly, but due to their own fears of loneliness and connect they fail to be honest with each other and truly connect. They are disjointed.

Don’t get me wrong they both deeply care about the other, but I believe they both think they understand the other perfectly yet are very wrong. They each perceive the other with their own biases. For instance the repeated use of, the other not being the person they know in the movie.

Junna sees Nana’s kindness and loneliness incredibly clearly. And tried to support her in those ways, but fails to see how her insecurities have led to Nana’s need for control in the revues.

Nana sees Junna’s determination and fears of inadequacy. But doesn’t recognize the strength she has to keep going.

That’s just a small portion, but it’s what first came to mind.

I think this disconnect is really the motivations behind the Revue of Hunting. Nana specifically doesn’t believe Junna can survive as a stage girl. Nana herself has faced pain and suffering as a stage girl. She locked herself in the loops out of immense fear of the future when a stage girl is supposed to grow. She doesn’t even realize that she was still a stage girl until Junna comforts her. She hates Starlight, and hates the idea of people being torn apart searching for ‘the lead’. When she sees Junna struggling. Who she had found so dazzling and who had once given her solace she thinks it’s a mercy to crush her dreams. Because ultimately she misunderstands Junna. She doesn’t believe in Junna and so takes it upon herself to end her.

For Junna’s part she has found comfort with Nana. Being able to comfort her, in episode 9, in the cafe chapter of the Overture manga, in the live#2 (shhhh I don’t know what canon is I’m just pulling examples to show their relationship I know I’m talking about the movie and that’s separate from the stage plays I’m sorry). For Junna who feels inadequate and alone being able to help Nana helps to motivate her and give her a purpose. But when she sees Nana in the revue of annihilation she genuinely can’t process it. She doesn’t at all understand Nana and just shuts down, only furthering her struggle for what to be as a stage girl.

I didn’t mean to just talk so much about the Revue of Hunting, but it’s such a good character moment between the two of them I got carried away.

The moral of the story is I love Junna and Nana’s relationship so much. It feels so special between the two of them and how they support each other. While still having conflict that hits so hard because it comes from the same core as their love for each other does. The Revue of Hunting is so cool. So is the Revue of Annihilation. So are all their revues in the show, show is- okay they’re just cool

I haven’t read through all the events yet, but Junana while Nana writes a phantom of the opera script on re live??

The fact that Nana admired Junna for helping a lonely kid who she related to in the overture manga? And then Junna helps Elle too???

I’m sorry I just love them both so much

#revue starlight #revstar #junna hoshimi #nana daiba #junnana

[corioheinous]

Can I just say how much I love love love it when a character or a group of characters are haunted by the absence of a person who was once integral to their lives. Especially when the entire narrative is structured around that particular loss like hands down my favorite television shows right now are Fleabag and The Bear which are both Masterful fucking examples of this (Fleabag’s dead best friend, though you could probably make a case for her mother too, and Carmy’s dead brother respectively).

And it’s like. The loss of these loved ones is so inextricable from the characters that survived them to the point where everything they do and say every choice they make whether good or bad is ultimately influenced by their grief. I’m catching up with the current Blue Period arc right now and really enjoying it, mostly bc of the complicated friendship dynamic between Momoyo, Murai, and Hachiro—and the lone piece missing from their friend group—Sanada. Murai’s experience with grief in particular is so fascinating to me because unlike Momoyo and Hachiro, he hasn’t been able to “move on” or cope with his grief in a healthy way. It’s sort of become this unsurmountable weight on his shoulder, this ghost-like presence that looms over his character constantly. When Yatora reflects on his loss in ch. 62, there’s an interesting emphasis placed on Murai’s expression—

—which made me realize just how emotional of a character Murai is through his facial expressions alone. Not necessarily in this chapter, because he’s very much putting on a brave face, but in chapter 64, you practically witness him going through every stage of grief at once. It’s honestly a massive transformation given that he’d been stuck in the “denial” stage for so long.

I think it’s interesting to think of Murai as both a character who is avoidant, repressive, in denial about his own feelings and the reality of the world around him (it’s mentioned also in ch. 64 that Murai didn’t even attend Sanada’s funeral, which is exactly the kind of immature behavior/inability to cope that you would expect from a character like him) WHILE simultaneously being someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I reckon he forces himself to feel nothing at all out of fear that he’ll feel too much at once, and thus end up causing a scene like he did at Sanada’s posthumous exhibition.

Besides the cool back tat and funky earring, I wasn’t all that compelled by Murai’s character until I read through this chapter and experienced this entire emotional upheaval alongside him. I kind of just had to sit down for a bit after reading the last scene, after Yotasuke’s Murai-san, it��s okay to live your life holding onto that grief forever, isn’t it? comment which is such a bonkers thing to say (/pos) and God. Not to quote The Bear FX here but it really is satisfying to watch a character that you know needs to let it rip just let it rip. That laidback attitude and nonchalant expression of his were never truly the whole of it. I’m really satisfied with the way grief & loss has been framed through Murai, and I’m excited to see what his character becomes as he continues to both carry these feelings inside him and live to grow around them.

#blue period #blue period 64 #yakumo murai #murai yakumo #character analysis #media analysis #grief/mourning #Ok time to catch up on the rest of the chapters lol let me make sure I’m actually cooking here

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you think if idia tries to meet the RSA ortho, it will result in the dreamworld's destruction?

I havent watched the newest update and just read descriptive posts so sorry if i'm misinterpreting stuff, but the dreams that malleus has created seem to operate based upon the dreamers memories, its just an altered version of events..so while he can create this information that Ortho is well and alive, Can he actually show Idia a believable teenager Ortho?because Idia doesn't have such memories, so making up RSA ortho's personality and mannerism might be were he messes up.like sure it might not be hard to create a teenager's voice and face , based on informations that we have of them fom when they were 5..but an actual personality??could this be the actual reason behind Ortho attending RSA instead of NRC in dreamworld?Like wouldnt the most ideal and dreamlike situation for Idia be going to the same school with his brother?but maybe malleus knows of the dreamworlds limitations so he had to come up with something..idk...maybe i'm just reading too much into it😭😭

[I gave my own initial reactions, thoughts, and a plot overview on book 7, part 3 in this post!]

Mmm, I do think that the dreams are made from the dreamer’s memories, but that’s only natural given that memories make up who the characters are and form the basis for their understanding of reality. I don’t think that’s the full extent of their dream worlds. There’s also a clear wish fulfillment aspect of it, and that, tied with the memories, forms kind of an “ideal” situation where the world literally exists and alters the circumstances to suit an individual’s wishes and whims. So… rather than “it’s just an altered version of events”, it’s more like the dream actively knows what the dreamer wants to see and then provides it for them.

For example, Idia’s dream is technically based on a memory of attending the NRC entrance ceremony. However, he also has a deep-seated desire to see Ortho survive and grow up, instead of perishing as a young child for a mistake he feels a lot of guilt and personal responsibility for. That would be Idia’s happiness, so the dream world centers around catering to it.

I actually don’t know at this point whether or not Malleus is actively controlling the details of every dream world. To me, it feels like he couldn’t possibly be doing that since he’s always described as lonely, hard to approach, and standoffish; when would he have had the time to get to know all of these intimate details about all of the people on Sage’s Island that he has in a magical slumber? (Like… would Idia share something so deeply traumatizing with Malleus??? The post-OB flashbacks don’t count, as we’re never fully sure who in the main cast views this information or if it’s just an internal dialogue the OB boy has with himself. Even if the other students knew, Malleus was not present when Idia woke up from his OB to be told his backstory.) And how is Malleus simultaneously monitoring and controlling all aspects of everyone’s dreams? Monitoring alone, maybe. But being the metaphorical “God” behind an entire island population’s worth of dreamers??? I don’t know if I entirely buy that, even if it’s Malleus Draconia we’re talking about.

I think that, even if there is no actual reference for what a grown up RSA-attending Ortho is like, the dream world and its residents would just shift and fill in the gaps according to the dreamer’s expectations. After all, the dream itself is constructed from Idia’s wants, his very point of view. We are not only seeing things from how Idia wants them to be, but we are also seeing this version of Ortho through Idia’s eyes. This Ortho is a creation manifested from how Idia wishes Ortho had the chance to be, based on Idia’s perception of the kind of person Ortho was and what he hoped Ortho would become.

The dream could easily extract information from Idia’s head and work with that to make a passable Ortho. In fact, it could also work from memories of robo!Ortho, since originally robo!Ortho had all the memories and experiences OG!Ortho had. Robo!Ortho started as very robotic and learned to be more human-like thanks to his advanced artificial intelligence program. He was even acknowledged as Idia’s brother and as a freshman student of Night Raven College. Robo!Ortho has been through so much growth beginning with the same memories of the original that passed—almost as though he were a real boy growing up. So knowing that, what’s to say the dream doesn’t use robo!Ortho as a basis for dream!Ortho’s character? It already seems to me that the dream is doing that, since dream!Ortho and robo!Ortho’s personalities are very similar. They’re chipper and supportive of Idia—just like Idia has always perceived Ortho to be in reality.

I was surprised to hear that dream!Ortho attends RSA instead of NRC, but thinking about it more, I’m not sure if I would attribute this to dream world limitations if we’re going with the idea that Malleus is controlling every dream. (It overcomplicates things if he has to come up with individualized reasonings to conveniently write out characters which may have no real life basis to work with, but I digress.) My thought is that Idia, the dreamer, is the one who thinks Ortho is best fit for RSA, or, alternatively, he wants Ortho to attend RSA and not NRC.

This circles back to the residual guilt that he feels about causing Ortho’s death. Maybe Idia (on a subconscious level) feels as though it’s better for Ortho to spend time away from him, who put him in danger in the first place. Maybe he thinks of his personality as a wet towel over Ortho’s sunshiney one and doesn’t want to be the so-called “bad influence”. Maybe Idia genuinely feels that Ortho would fit in with the nice, almost sparkling Royal Sword Academy kids. Maybe Idia knows the students of NRC are trouble and that he’d rather have Ortho fostered and growing up among more amicable peers. (Think about it, how many times have we seen Idia freak out over Ortho’s safety during his time at NRC?) All of these ideas basically amount to the possibility that Idia wishes Ortho to be his best self and to live his best life, even if that comes with the stipulation of not being able to be with him all the time.

Additionally, recall that Idia in the real world is socially anxious to the point where he usually refuses to go anywhere without his emotional support robot brother. In the dream world, it’s an alternate universe in which Ortho never died, and thus Idia isn’t consumed by remorse, and is less socially anxious (Idia physically attends the opening ceremony in the dream, but in reality he was only present via his tablet). This implies that, in the dream world, Idia does not have that attachment issue with Ortho and feels comfortable with knowing that Ortho can be on the other side of Sage’s Island and still be totally fine without him. This also opens up Idia to actually interact with his own peers on his own terms, without needing Ortho to encourage him—and companionship, as much as Idia shits on normies, is definitely something he craves (as we see at the end of book 6 when he’s gaming with everyone). I think that this makes sense for him!

Being that this is book 7, we should expect Idia to “wake” at some point and join the others that have “woken up” to help save the day. We already notice that Idia is pointing out little discrepancies in his dream! But what I’m really wondering is what will be the impetus that “shocks” him awake???? Because truth be told, it’s extremely difficult to walk away from something you’ve wished so much for: the return of your deceased sibling—however, it’s also fitting and a good way to round out Idia’s character growth from the last book. In consciously choosing to reject the dream, Idia will have finally accepted Ortho’s death and be able to truly “move on” 😭 I don’t know that it would be meeting dream!Ortho that does the trick though, that would be feeding into his wishes and encouraging him to indulge more. That’s hard to break away from—and even Silver, who was already awake in Sebek’s dream, sounded conflicted when he rejected dream!Lilia’s offer to stay with him forever.

This is a shot in the dark, but we don’t yet know the mechanics of how dream!characters work when the real!character shows up in the same space. Like, in Sebek’s dream, he seemed to be looking for Silver. Was there no dream!Silver his mind made for him to interact with? Or did dream!Silver vanish as soon as real!Silver dreamhopped into Sebek’s dream world… Or will two the Silvers meet randomly and recreate that Spidermen pointing at each other meme???? My point is (and this is a big stretch so bear with me here), what if robo!Ortho finds some way to enter Idia’s dream at the same time that dream!Ortho is also present??? So suddenly there’s two Orthos and Idia has to make the ultimate decision between living a pretty lie with dream!Ortho or accepting the ugly truth by going with robo!Ortho to fight Malleus or something 💀 Probably not going to happen, but it’s an interesting scenario to think about!

#twst #Lilia Vanrouge #Malleus Draconia #twisted wonderland #Diasomnia #Idia Shroud #Ignihyde #Silver #disney twisted wonderland #Sebek Zigvolt #Ortho Shroud #notes from the writing raven #question #twst theory #twisted wonderland theory #twst theories #twisted wonderland theories #spoilers

[alizalayne]

books of year ‘23, but only the ones that weren’t rereads and that I had something to say about. Text is written out below the cut. Please recommend books to me!!

Scales and Sensibility by Stephanie Burgis

when i saw this being recommended to me on scribd i sent it to my friends along with the word YESSSSSSSSS about 80 times. This has palpable Diana Wynne Jones insanity which is very exciting to me. The romantic lead is so boring but he’s not important; what’s important is the main character’s batshit physical transformation and its consequences. This book also triggered a personal ephiphany that i’d been setting myself up for for years, which is a little bit happenstance but I’m glad it happened while listening to this as an audiobook on a hike.

___

Lonely Castle in the Mirror by Mizuki Tsujimura

I’ve read a few books with a similar tone and goals but most of them do not feel as sincere, or they get preachy in a way this does not. I am a massive sucker for narratives about going and coming back to magical worlds (pre-isekai boom), like coville’s unicorn chronicles or barker’s abarat. they’re the most effective to me when they do what this is doing: telling an empathetic human story. One thing I really appreciate about this book as a mental illness narrative for younger people is its willingness to tackle the idea that someone’s terrified inner voice can be incorrect, or it can reflect reality accurately— some people do have a reason to be excessively scared. I think there’s a tendency when tackling this concept, especially for child readers, to tell them that their anxieties are silly and illogical, that of course no one is trying to hurt them. But that’s not always true. I appreciate that this story is able to question the main character’s assumptions about other people’s evil intentions while not questioning that her feeling of fear is real, while simultaneously acknowledging that similar pain is felt by kids going through abuse. I think I would have preferred a smaller cast or a longer book with more exploration of the other kids.

___

Earthlings: A Novel by Sayaka Murata

another very empathetic mental illness book, but much more disturbing. the main character’s worldview is alluring because the narrative paints reality in such a bleak way. If it didn’t force a sense of perspective on you, it could be a document that starts a cult. It’s very accurate to some experiences that I have had and things i have heard people say while in dangerous situations that involve religious behavior.

It’s very difficult to challenge the type of thinking this explores because each brick that builds a wall between someone’s mind and the rest of reality can seem like a reasonable brick. but when you look at the whole wall you can’t understand how such small and normal things as bricks could seal someone up inside and swallow them. This does a good job of showing you its challenge without being cruel. I’m glad I read it.

___

What Once Was Mine: A Twisted Tale by Elizabeth J. Braswell

official goth retelling of disney’s tangled, I had to see what was going on in there but it was pretty boring, worth the $0 price of library admission for rapunzel having evil moon hair that fucking kills you

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Cutting Teeth by Chandler Baker

NO EXPLANATION FOR WHY THE TODDLERS STARTED TO CRAVE BLOOD. WAS HOPING DRACULA WAS BURIED UNDER THE PRESCHOOL BUT NOBODY LETS ME HAVE ANYTHING AROUND HERE

___

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

I’d never read this before. Soooooo fun

fucking GET HIMMMMMM GIRLLLLL YESSSSSSSS!!!!! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

___

Declamation on the Nobility and Preeminence of the Female Sex by Henricus Cornelius Agrippa, edited by Albert Rabil Jr. 2007 edition

I cannot recommend this text enough if you are insane like me in pain like me (english literature major). Imagine that you are the princess of Austria and you’re bored of mummifying your husband’s heart and you decide to buy the man who would become arguably the world’s most famous wizard. this happened in real life. And what he decided to do was kiss her ass with his entire mouth. To that end, he wrote a torturously funny ted talk about how god made women better than men. Here are some reasons: women don’t drown in water because they’re fatter than men, but when women DO drown they do it face down so no one will see their boobs. Menstrual blood cures epilepsy and depression and can extinguish fires (????). all eagles are female (?????) and god created women last so he had tons of practice by then. This is the holy grail of bitchy footnotes. So many of these are just “he made this up”. It’s so fun!! And it’s helpful to remember that people have always been making shit up.

___

honorable mention: I read through the letters of Saint Hildegard of Bingen and I have to recommend this to everyone alive. I think she was in lesbian love so hard that that’s why she she wrote that shitty letter to the pope. but what do i know. she is also about 80% of the reason we know anything of what medieval medical knowledge was among women in europe. She also documented a ton of natural science.

___

The Crone Wars by Lydia M. Hawke

Now i have to admit i didn’t read all these. I did read the first one but this author’s priorities just don’t really align with mine, since these are ultimately straight romance novels. However, I wanted to show how long the series goes and what the titles are because I think they’re really fun. It was very cool to see what YA sensibilities look like with a 60 year old protagonist. This main character really reminded me of Usagi from Sailor Moon, which as a massive freak about sailor moon is not something I give out lightly, and I kept imagining events from this book as drawn by Riyoko Ikeda. After spending a little time with it, the manga panels just sort of happened in my mind and i recommend the experience. I do still want to draw some scenes from it sometime.

#did not include things by friends or friends of friends because it felt very strange to lump those in with usual reading

[writingbecauseihaveread]

Meet Ugly

Pairings: Pro hero! Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

A/N: this is before Dynamight inevitably becomes a household name- ALSO this is my first time writing fan fiction in literally over 10 years.

Do you think we call to loneliness in the same way it calls to us? You couldn’t be sure but it certainly felt that way as you stared at your empty eyes in your bathroom mirror.

It wasn’t that anything was particularly wrong. In fact, you looked hot as fuck and were about to tear up the town your close friend.

“You ready, kid?” Aiko asked appearing behind you as her eyes met yours in the mirror.

“Depends, do I look like the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen?”

Aiko made an exaggerated show of looking you up and down, “obviously.”

Your friends were amazing. Always supportive and amazing to be around. You just didn’t always get quality time to see them.

Between your job and helping out your family it simultaneously felt like you couldn’t get a break and were never doing enough. You might be a little burned out. And lonely.

Being in your 20s and not having a significant other sometimes left you feeling like you were missing out on something, but you try your best to be patient. You will certainly not call out to loneliness.

You shook your head with a smile, “well we better get this show on the road then.”

When you were a little younger you went to clubs and bars with the hopes of meeting someone, but there were too many nights spent dancing, or rather to many night spent feeling like dead animal surrounded by vultures, to hold out that same hope. You think feeling like prey might be one of the worst feelings possible. Nonetheless, you were excited to go out tonight with Aiko because she was excited and the bar you planned on going to was low key.

You took one last look at yourself. You looked good, you know you did. Aiko looked happy. You can do this.

When you walked into the bar you were met with low, warm lighting and wood paneled walls. The bar was rustic and conversation was loud. You and Aiko made your way to the bar. As you were waiting for your drinks Aiko was very obviously scanning the crowd for potential targets despite claiming tonight would be a girls night. You couldn’t blame her, not really. It could be both.

Not too long ago you gave up on looking and trying to make something out of nothing. At this point in your life you didn’t have the energy for anyone who was short of absolutely obsessed with you. It’s what you deserved anyway.

You jump as Aiko gasps loudly next to you. “No fucking way.” You follow her gaze and see she is staring holes into the side of some guys head. He looked to be a little younger than you and had reddish hair. He was facing in your direction stood around a high top table with a few other men, all of whom were just a little too casually dressed for this bar.

In the time it took you to scope out the situation she ran to the man all but knocking him over. Now it was your turn to gasp, but not out of worry for the poor man’s current situation. One of the men at the table had turned around to watch the scene occur and you caught sight of him.

He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen without a doubt, and was likely the most beautiful man you would ever see. Pale blond hair and striking vermillion eyes. You weren’t even really into blonds. That didn’t seem to matter. You reign your self in and head over to your friend.

“Rin!! It’s been forever!!” Aiko exclaims as you breathe out a sign of relief. Rin was Aiko’s best friend from college, but they hadn’t met up recently because he was severely overworked as a sidekick. You had spoken with him over Aiko’s shoulders a few times while they were on FaceTime but had never seen him in person.

You tried to ignore the imposing figure of the most gorgeous man alive behind you. “Hey, Rin.”You smile and he greets you warmly.

He really is a good guy. “Is your boss still the biggest dick to ever walk the earth?” You asked with a small laugh remembering listening to his long rants over the phone.

You heard someone choking on their drink behind you, so you turned around with a smile hoping your joke landed with his other friends. You froze when you saw the other man at the table, dark haired and around your age, looking at you in abject horror. You gaze landed on the blond and suddenly those piercing eyes were burning into you. His eyebrows are raised and his lips are quirked, almost like he was amused.

“Fuck…” you hear Aiko mutter from behind you.

You feel frozen under his gaze. “I go by Bakugo.”

You have a choice here. The sensible thing to do would be to apologize.

Your cheeks burned and you began by giving him your name in return. “I’m sorry, but in all fairness you should try not being a dick to your subordinates.” You shrugged to appear unaffected. It would’ve been easier to chew him out for the stories you had heard had he been doing anything but staring at you like you were the single most interesting thing in the room.

You should like the attention, but it felt like you made a grave mistake.

“Nah, Rin fucking deserves it. If he kept his head out of his ass he wouldn’t be such a fucking extra.” He spat with a sneer on his face.

“Damn Bakugo, you’re getting soft with age. That almost sounded like a compliment.” Your jaw dropped. How the fuck is that a compliment?

Suddenly the inhuman being before you became mortal. He bared his teeth and shoved the man next to him. The tips of his ears were red. “Shut the hell up you fucking idiot! You cry like a fucking baby at commercials!”

You stifled a laugh as Rin and Aiko’s conversation picked up behind you. Within a millisecond his eyes were on you again. “Yeah yeah, enough, giggles.” Your eyes widened a fraction.

“Is this the infamous Bakugo nicknaming?” You asked, almost giddy. The dark haired man didn’t seem effected by his yelling, and you loved some fun loud conversation. You were egging him on. You knew that.

Suddenly he no longer looked like a feral dog on defense. His shoulders relaxed, “infamous, huh? You ask about me?” He leaned in a faction, gauging your reaction carefully.

You rolled your eyes, “hardly, just overheard a rant or two.”

“You’re a real shit starter, ya know?” He snarked.

“Seems like we’re the same.” His smirk lessened and he paused to take you in.

“Yeah… maybe.”

#bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugo katuski x reader #mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia

[yuyinesque]

MYSTERY CAT. (or simply … indigo!)

“simply… indigo? refer to me as mr. indigo; i’ll become an

universal liability if you refuse. i always get my way, after all.”

𑁍 ﹏ sobriquets: mystery cat, spider-cat, indie, fish face, biscuits, indie kitty. mr. indigo, mr. meanie, bs, mijo, son, my son, puppy, mutt, little nimbus, baby blue/twinkie (via ichor 𖤐), little stray, pretty kitty, pretty boy, prince, young master (indigo), jophiel, anja, quidnunc, (big) lotto, lucky charm, gatito bonito, rich bitch, kitty, bell, pussy cat, alley cat, catnap.

𖥔 ﹏ additional photos: ⚀ ⚁ ⚂ ⚃ ⚄.

𖥔 ﹏ general background: Ever seen one of these before? I’m sure you have. The Maneki-neko, also known as the Japanese “beckoning cat” is a benevolent apparition that bestows alms upon the ones who owns them. Usually you would see one of these statues in casinos or small businesses since these feline spirits tend to beckon in customers or good fortune, hence the way their paw lures in whatever their human desires. The left paw invites clients or customers, whereas the right invites fortune or good health; very rarely you’d find a maneki-neko that utilizes both of their paws simultaneously. Indigo is capable of shape-shifting from male, partially male (calico cat demihuman; calico catboy), or simply a norwegian forest calico cat. While his cat form is presentably female, his human/catboy form is not, as for he is a trans individual. A little more about him is that his own, the one he grants wishes to, is Illūnis, a malevolent apparition called a Rusalka. Despite her indifference towards cats, she saved him while he was just a kitten, for he was, no matter the AU, was on the brink of death. You can assume where he gains a few of his esoteric traits from; being raised by a homicidal spirit isn’t something you usually encounter.

𖥔 ﹏ trademark notables: Innately calls people “dear” when you’re concerning or confusing him (or becomes more polite in general). Nabs jewelry or any shiny material (whether it's his owner’s or something from an expensive store). Has purplish dark circles underneath his eyes considering that he doesn’t get a good amount of sleep due to his insomnia. Consumes unhealthy amounts of sugar, and I don’t mean confectionery. I mean sugar. Sleeps in the most unconventional places to feel hidden and safer. Doesn’t enjoy kids much (lacks the patience) but will risk the moon for the elderly. Ears are always in airplane mode in cat (boy) form, especially when he’s in public. Walks around with a gold coin, consider it a lucky one if you will, though if people tend to test him, he flips the coin (heads meaning whoop their ass, tails meaning flee. unfortunately for him, it nearly always lands on tails). Taps his fingers on his lips when he’s giggly, excited, or ecstatic, though if he uses one hand it indicates that he’s nervous or overthinking. Sleep talks and either spouts suggestive or ominous messages. Knows one too many things about most of the individuals of any given AU. Always in the lap of a highly attractive male in cat form. Comedically, he has a job EVERYWHERE… tired of seeing him in every little shop with a wink or straight-faced peace sign.

𖥔 ﹏ genshin notables: He’s a dendro-bearing resident of Liyue, quite the charismatic and memorable one at that. As a kitten, he used to live in Snezhnaya with his previous owner, Dottore, who not only captured him for personal experiments, but thrown him out when he was no use to him anymore, leaving him in the Snezhnayan snow. Because Illūnis was also once a resident of Snezhnaya, she found the poor thing and took him in as her own. Regrettably and reluctantly, of course. Once Illūnis became the Sentinel of Liyue, naturally they would have to reside there, specifically in Lone Cloud Pavilion. Indigo acts as Illūnis spiritual messenger, so he’s quite literally all over the map. He knows… everything and everyone because of this. Anyway, the citizens of Liyue (besides Traveler and Paimon, of course), have no way of knowing that this gift-giving kitty and this narcissistic catboy is the same person, so you can assume that his reputation varies. He’s much more adored in cat form, but as a human, people were weary of him; he enjoys both reputations, however, so he didn’t do anything. Not to mention that he gets custom-made collars from Ningguang, and he uses false visions he wears depending on the form to keep his existence a mystery.

𖥔 ﹏ atsv notables: Uhhh… anti-heroic spider-cat who will save the world if you keep your children on his taxes. Anyways, N/A for now.

𖥔 ﹏ jujutsu kaisen notables: Uhmmm… a human-born grade two curse who is also a sorcerer for the intel, benefits, and thrill. Anyways, N/A for now.

𖥔 ﹏ yandere au notables: As a yandere, he’d be the possessive and manipulative type, which is practically a given since these traits are in his character. Just not in an extreme degree. Growing up with Illūnis alters his empathy and basic perspectives. For example, stalking could simply be his way of “checking on” someone and manipulation are just as mere as white lies. While he’s not a murderer, he’s not against making scenes look like a simple accident if needed. But first, he’d stick to blackmailing, for, as we know, Indigo is great at finding out every single thing about a person. This could also seem obsessive towards his darling; he knows things about you that you couldn’t even address at the moment since you lacked the proper insight. But he didn’t. A better reason to keep him around, no? Anyway, as I said before, he could get eliminating, but if he has to kill, he’d get something else to do the work for him. He has a voracious, cannibalistic mother after all, so it’s best for his victims to not get too testy. He would also be a self-indulgent yandere, which is the type that prefers to be worshipped incessantly by his love interest. This could also lead to an obsession. If you squint, of course. Indigo is quite the arrogant kitty.

𖥔 ﹏ birthday: april 29th.

𖥔 ﹏ age appearance: twenty (20).

𖥔 ﹏ zodiacal big three: taurus ☼ | scorpio ❍ | libra ⇡

𖥔 ﹏ race, ethnicity, nationality: asian, japanese, nationality varies depending on the au.

𖥔 ﹏ sex, gender, sexuality, pronouns: female, trans male, uranic, he/him.

𖥔 ﹏ mbti: entp-a (the assertive debater).

𖥔 ﹏ likes: bubbles. brain-training (sudokus, anagrams, crossword puzzles, chinese checkers, etc.). honey garlic salmon (reminds him of illūnis and circe). traveling & nature walks or sprints w/ xīn’yuè. taking the longest naps. studying finance/economics, he is a lil’ financial adviser. numismatics!!!!! sitting in laps (‘specially, and only, in the laps of a pretty man). MONEYYYYY WOOOOOO. the elderly, so sweet, so quiet, LIKE JIHANE sometimes. socializing. lipstick (really, it’s a guilty pleasure). gossiping about everything, everyone, doesn’t matter, even matter isn’t safe. dangling earrings, jingly jewelry (often steals jihane’s). icicles! chandeliers (‘minds him of icicles). any self-care methods. physical affection, greatly. words of affirmation, mmh. jewelry or anything sparkling (crystals, keychains, aluminum foil, icicles, etc.). winter!! catnip. journey walks/exploration walks. controversial debates. blumei, best child/puppy ever. kittens, much better than real children. chin/ear scratches. valentine’s day. mmh, fish, but please cook it. why would he want uncooked seafood? diadems & crowns. being called handsome. nami from one piece; y’all sleep on her. kenma from haikyuu; sleeping. nose kisses. bird watching. people watching. romance k-dramas. writing in cursive. yoga!! frankly and secretly? dogs; very energetic like him but they get too loud. puppy/bunny-coded characters. treasure hunting. birthdays, but his.

𖥔 ﹏ dislikes: citrus fruits. spending money cuz be fr. lack of attention/affection. children (kittens are much more tolerable). crying in front of people. pimples.. gross. oversleeping/overexertion. PAIMON, SHUT UP FOR ONCE (genshin au). unnecessarily loud people/music. judgmental individuals (hypocritical ass). hyperactive individuals, what even is zolene. beer, tf? little miss goddamn yashmi-noir (as if she isn’t an upcoming favorite; she’s still an ick tho like maju). over-socializing. too much authority. spicy foods; zolene why. his insomnia. fucking inazuma (genshin au). puppies??! especially if they misbehave?!? seething hot days. FOXES (“they’re catlike freaks despite being another mutt classification… the contradiction is humiliating. y/n, have you seen a tibetan fox? it’s not safe for work”…). needy fucking individuals and they don’t even be cute with it (spider-man au). practicality. unapologetic individuals since he’s ironically apologetic. GREEN, ironically… easter (unless there’s money in one of those eggs). uncooked fish, why does sushi exist, he may ask? the aftermath of a goddamn sugar rush. forest clearings. baths, but knows it’s mandatory in human form too. the fourth of july, LOUD. unnecessary sleepless nights or nightmares. unrequited love. flower crowns, mightest well give him the real thing. & emhalo plants… ew.

𑁍 ﹏ quotes:

About Us: Mystery Cat ୨୧ “Why is the title so indistinct? Mystery cat? Really? What does a man have to do to free himself from this tree? Induce his ethanol intake? Please, a flea could come up with something better.”

About Sentinel Illūnis ୨୧ “Selenic Sentinel number three… What did she do this time?… Nothing? You just believed that I’d know of her? Unfortunately, yes, but we’re not on speaking terms at the moment. She frightened me with her behavior, then—… Huh? Oh no, she didn’t try to eat me. She simply has the audacity of a toddler, feeding me raw fish straight from the sea like I’m some sort of animal. I’m… still trying to wrap my head around the situation before I wrap my hands around her neck. *long sigh* …Really, how dare she?”

About Ichor ୨୧ “Really, Illūnis speaks entirely illy of that woman; never a green flag. He’s a Dao, a malicious earth genie who has also created the Selenian race. Again, don’t question me. I know everything. Tokyo—Ichor is a conflicting individual much like their nymph acolyte. Except be has the personality of that sun mutt but knows things even Illūnis has trouble comprehending. Horrifying, isn’t it? An aspirational man…”

About Gojo Satoru ୨୧ N/A FOR NOW.

About Zhongli ୨୧ “A dignified man he is… *long, dreamy sigh* … I’ve always prided myself on the simple fact that I’m well acquainted with him. Though unfortunately, greed runs wildly in my veins *purrs a bit* … this acquaintanceship is entirely dissatisfying. Traveler, he will become my next plaything.”

yuyinesque | translate with permission & peruse without theft

#𖧷 𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 #ᖭི༏ᖫ 𝓲𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓻’𝓼 𝓸𝓬𝓼 #divider cr plutism #catboy #catboy oc #cat boy #cat boy oc #oc blog #monster oc x reader #yandere oc #trans oc #monster oc #male oc #male original character #oc x reader #atsv oc #jjk oc #genshin impact oc #genshin oc #yandere oc x reader #asian oc #oc #original character #monster original character #oc x you #original character oc #spiderman oc #ocs #genshin impact #jujutsu kaisen

[dorianbrightmusic]

an interpretation of kieran’s mental health in the indigo disk

One thing that’s me very consistently while playing through the Indigo Disk DLC is how Kieran’s behaviour, though erratic, feels horrifyingly believable through a certain lens. Many of his behaviours are painfully reminiscent of my own memories of having anorexia nervosa—and while that’s absolutely not the sole reason someone could break down into an antithetical version of themself as dramatically as Kieran does, I think that as a reading, it can actually coexist very nicely with the actual plot reasoning of ‘competitive tunnel vision’. If anything, it would complement his competitive frenzy quite effectively.

I’m aware this is a risky and hyper-specific interpretation to share, but I’m posting my reasoning beneath the cut, since I think it’s worth sharing not just as a reading of Pokemon, but also as an intersectional look at ED pathology that doesn’t focus so much on either food or figure. Every time I’ve headcanoned a character as anorexic, it’s been because their behaviours seemed painfully perfectionistic and inflexible (see Seto Kaiba), rather than because they looked a particular way. Obviously, massive trigger warning for discussion of restrictive EDs as attempts at self-destruction.

(n.b. None of this is necessarily based on what I've read in scientific papers so much as on experience and observation of others with this disease. As such, if this feels a bit Freud-y-mumbo-jumbo-y, it probably is.)

Let’s start by looking at where Kieran starts out. In Kitakami, he’s stunningly isolated at the best of times. He thinks in extremes—good, bad; hero, villain; strong, weak. His relationship with his sister isn’t bad, per se, but she’s tempestuous and brash, whereas he’s sensitive and fearful. Her attempts to protect him from the worst of the world reinforce his sense of weakness—she shelters him in the harshest way possible, simultaneously expecting him to be tough enough to bear her toughness and weak enough to be able to tolerate nothing else. And though he attends a specialised school for battle, he’s long been the designated weak sibling; as such, he cannot, by nature, be considered admirable at Blueberry Academy. At home and school alike, he feels less than, and desperately lonely. 

To cope, he renders weakness and loneliness as part of his identity, and latches onto the idea of Ogerpon as a courageous outcast, rather than as a villain. It’s an awkward, immature means of coping, as its sole mechanism of granting him any sense of worth further entrenches his isolation and inferiority complex. In defying conventional wisdom on local mythology, he’s choosing to distrust others’ judgement, cutting off any chances of accepting others’ approbation, and locking himself into his own estrangement. His sense of self is constructed around total denial of the fact that being isolated still hurts. So long as he takes up in fantasy, he can’t acknowledge the reality of hating loneliness; and, every time this loneliness and weakness is brought to his attention, he’s suddenly dealing with years of feeling worthless, as compressed into a single moment. As such, he takes defeat awfully, and, having built up very few other ways of coping over the years, gets stupendously angry.

When somebody who’s not from the village comes along, however, maybe he has room to be seen as sensible, rather than contrarian—and, when the player is accepting and kind, he realises that maybe, maybe, there’s room for him to be likeable, worthwhile, in someone’s eyes, after all. So, it’s little wonder that he clings hard to the player, and becomes painfully attached after one day. The player’s affirmation is basically all he has by way of a positive sense of self outside of his own distorted interpretation of legends. Then, cue the player lying to him and taking away Ogerpon. This moment has removed both of Kieran’s last bastions of positive self-image, of ‘maybe it’s okay to be weak, maybe I’m worthwhile anyway’. To him, this isn’t just a minor betrayal—it’s the destruction of his ability to have a sense of worth. It’s pressing on a pain that he’s been systematically ignoring, and reminding him just how much it hurts. 

All he knows, though, is denial—so, to deal with this, he needs to create a new sense of self that can ignore the pain of being weak. But since identifying with weakness hasn’t worked for him, he now attempts the opposite, and takes to pursuing strength at any cost. If he’s strong, then how can weakness hurt him, right?

Except this time, the denial is more extreme, more overtly compartmentalised. He assumes a new team, a new hairstyle, a new manner of talking, dressing, acting. He builds up new rules for life, strict as can be, and brooks no exceptions for any weakness. He is trying, in every way possible, to obliterate the existence of the boy from Kitakami.

An obliterated existence/A dual self

I’d like to pause for a moment here to discuss the compartmentalisation of identity that takes place in anorexia nervosa, as I think it’s relevant here.

Anorexia is a coping mechanism—specifically, the disease promises that by supplanting some part of the self that is currently extremely distressed, it can remove the pain and control the situation. The anorexic personality comes from the original personality, but promises to fulfil its ideals by any means possible. So, seeking a sense of security, the afflicted person compartmentalises—the anorexic personality deals with this thing, the healthy personality with that thing—and reserves the healthy personality from having to deal with distress. The problem is, the illness doesn’t usually fix the problem it promised to, but creates many more. But because it allows one to deny psychic pain, it feels comforting—‘I’m in control of this situation, and the powerless part of me has been obliterated’. Rather than resolve the issues created by the illness by attenuating anorexic behaviours, the person tries to instead brute-force fix things with more anorexia; and onward goes the vicious cycle. In doing this, the afflicted person cedes control of their life to the illness, and, over time, comes to identify with it. While it blocks out their source of pain, it also bonds them to it, forcing them to acquiesce to, if not actively seek out, the increasing physical and emotional toll of the illness.

(I promise it gets better.)

The anorexic personality is split into pieces—the healthy self, and the anorexic self—and the healthy self is usually still dealing with something, so doesn’t feel healthy enough to deal with the things the anorexic self deals with. At first, these selves can be very distinct—the anorexic self often be strict, perfectionistic, and tight-lipped, unwilling to burden others with the original self’s vulnerability. Strict rules and schedules often come to dominate the person’s life while they’re ill—must work this hard, do these things and these times. Over time, the boundary between the healthy and sick selves becomes increasingly murky—one’s mind is invaded from the inside—and the original personality changes further to accommodate the illness. To complicate things further, anorexics tend to not only conceal their distress from themselves, but conceal their illness—and the underlying upset—from others. This is much easier to pull off if you’re isolated to begin with. Recovery thus isn’t merely physical, but psychological, trying to rehabilitate and reintegrate the original identity after a period of being compartmentalised and fragmented. This involves abandoning a coping mechanism and confronting pain that had been abnegated throughout and prior to the illness, so is more complex than just trying to attenuate anorexic cognitions and behaviours. 

Another look at Kieran

Kieran is unbearably lonely, and has long been trying to deny this loneliness in some way or another. Even when he’s identified with the loneliness, he’s done so in order to try to avoid the associated pain. It’s not really acceptance, in that it’s volatile, so much as unsophisticated avoidance hidden by a veneer of acceptance. This unbearable loneliness is his underlying problem—and even back on Kitakami, he’s very much trying—and failing—to push it down. The events of The Teal Mask are enough to show him that denial through surface acceptance isn’t going to cut it, as his relationships with the player and Ogerpon (or at least the idea of Ogerpon) have reinforced how incredibly alone he is.

When he flips on his axis to pursue strength, he’s not pursuing any more sophisticated a means of coping than before, but he’s being much, much more overt about it. Though the source of his angst is, in fact, loneliness and an inferiority complex, he’s convinced himself that the problem is not that he’s alone, but that he’s weak. If he can deal with the weakness, why would he care about feeling lonely? And since the boy from Kitakami was weak, that personality has got to go. Kieran develops a second self, and hands control of his life over to this self, expecting it to resolve the problem that he’s weak. He becomes brutal, because if he can tolerate his own brutality, why should anyone else struggle? He used to be weak, weaker than any of them, after all. 

Pokémon training, realistically, is a form of exercise. And as weak a kid as he’s always been, he’ll make himself stronger, now, so he’ll train, however much hell it is for his team, his classmates, his sister, however much strain it puts on his body, as he barely rests, barely sleeps, barely stops by his room to cook himself anything. Does he need sustenance, when the whole point of this work is to bury his weakness, starve the kid inside himself of his own name and face? Externally, he’s attempted to obliterate the appearance of the kid he used to be – not just in the sense of changing his appearance and his demeanour, but also trying his best to alter his reputation. Physically and behaviorally, he needs to change, he thinks, to block out his weakness, lest it be obvious to an onlooker. Anything less than being a perfect champion will destroy him. 

What happens, then, when the player takes his title, and Drayton ridicules him as ex-champion? Kieran has been hoist with his own petard—with his title in shreds, his identity, too, is in pieces. The player has destroyed him. He’s destroyed himself. And years, years, of abnegated misery now come crashing down once again. So, he makes one final attempt to seize glory with Terapagos, for indeed, other than glory, he has nothing. For the first time, he has to confront the fact that he has nothing. That’s terrifying. What can he do but lash out? He’s been pressing down the scared kid inside for a long time, and as such, that scared, angry part of him is in a state of prodigiously arrested development. So, he screams and he screams. And then, at last, he can start to repent. So, he helps the player. And then, the two of them get to start over—as friends, rivals, family. 

This is recovery: desperately clinging to dysfunction, only to reconcile with being powerless, and, at last, to choose to come back, to walk away from the wreck made of oneself. Kieran must go home to Kitakami—he had no choice, because there was where his real issue—loneliness—had started. (If he didn’t attend a lot of therapy throughout this time, I’ll be amazed.) And, in his time away from school, after finally breaking down and admitting before Terapagos, before the player, before Briar and Carmine, that he had nothing, nobody, he was always going to have to learn, somehow, how to have something, someone, and how to pay respects to the absent space left for both in the meantime. And when he finally comes back to Blueberry, he’s integrated bits of both of his selves. The timid boy from Kitakami is still there, but now has a spine. The tough, one-track-minded champion helps him stay focussed, but doesn’t seep into his personal life—or at least, not to the exclusion of the kinder part of him. He’s not the same kid he used to be—part of that kid died somewhere along the way, in some sense—but at last, he can acknowledge what he really was—scared and lonely—and, with the courage and strength he once misapplied, he can finally move forward, and learn how to breathe again. 

#i like writing about recovery as well simply because it’s not really something we see much in media #and i think the thing is. kiki gets a lot better and at the same time he will never be able to change how much the DLC sucked for him #but he moves on. and he gets much better #again. this is a reading. it is largely based on my own experience. It assumes Kieran’s autistic (and that he might be developing bpd) #it is not canon and shouldn’t be read as such #but after seeing it noted that the guy was neglecting sleep and food to train my brain just went ‘oh. he’s got AN’ #it was just like ‘bam. very clear decision’. and analysing the rest of his arc through that lens is interesting to me #not gonna tag this with the fandom. if people find it yay. but given this is a weird and slightly disturbing take I’mma just leave it here

[variousqueerthings]

I note that I don't, and I never, was much of a fan of doctor-and-rose as romance, but that I -- rather than get annoyed at the romantic-coded scenes -- had a tendency to simply read them from a totally different perspective, and really maybe should have been a sign of sooomething different about me, that I continuously felt that the doctor's concepts of connection must be so alien, that to call it romance would be to diminish the actual Thing that they had, which was presented as such onscreen (to my mind then, now I realise what was happening, but I prefer what I had going on), which is basically that the doctor was a shell of a person, hurtling towards destruction (he would have died without rose in ep1), desperately lonely and sad and traumatised, and she retaught nine -- and by extension ten -- how to love the universe, at the same time as nine and ten taught her the same. (I think about the scene in father's day, where while they're arguing, rose says that she knows how sad he is, and he'll just hang around the tardis waiting for her -- she knew!)

and then on top of that with sarah-jane (which, I never watched the classics as a kid, so I didn't have that context for her beyond what the episode presented) it felt like that was sort of confirmed and made even more canon through this idea that the doctor is constantly mourning the inevitable deaths of their companions and would rather simply leave them behind at some point than watch that happen (and they've seen that happen before, although dying for a cause versus just... dying, because you die, while they don't, they just continue on and on, always seeking connection, always knowing that time will take them away, that's a whole other thing)

and then of course there's ten's... I would call it "sex appeal" because it's david tennant and with his performance there's immediately a bit of a focus on oh he's quite pretty and he faints/is knocked unconscious in both of his first episodes, and a lot more flirting, and the people want to see sparks or what have you... but the doctor as portrayed and written is still... not coming at it that way. yes yes girl in the fireplace but also, once again, doesn't work for me, because I find it soooo much more interesting that the doctor would imprint on A Life - and a life that they admire -- and speedrun the exact thing that they're most afraid of with their companions... that she ages and dies and it's the one thing that the doctor simply cannot stop

meanwhile rose is quite young and swept up in this whole massive adventure and very much reads the doctor not as an alien (frequently surprised by their alien-ness) and gets jealous of sarah-jane as if she's an ex, and renette as if she's... a replacement? but really it's more that the doctor met her at the point when she was about to accept her life as it was. not an exciting life, not a bad life, but always having to ignore the idea that there must be more to it than this. and the idea that she might be unceremoniously dumped back in that after seeing just how This the this could be, of course that's terrifying. and of course she's simultaneously taken with the dashing doctor and the jetset life, and worried she could be replaced, because to her the doctor saved her at 19 years old. in some ways the doctor created her (considering who she becomes after dooms day)

contrasted to martha who initially has a similar kind of experience, but the doctor doesn't meet her at the space she's in with them -- ten is leaning on her, like they did with rose, but not giving anything back unless kicking and screaming and traumatising her whole family. martha's trajectory is so so tragic, because she barely gets a taste of the splendor versus the horrors and the latter marks her for life. but she also knows to walk away from those overwhelming feelings, rather than give into them, she knows they'll never be rewarded and she also grows beyond wanting to be a crutch for the doctor (the fact that she then ends up as a soldier, well... ouch)

and then of course donna, who never has those fucking awe-feelings to begin with and whose connection with the doctor is explicitly de-romanticised but never placed on a lesser pedestal as if there's a hierarchy of alloromanticism. topples those pillars, never sees the doctor as anything but what the doctor is. good old donna. (sobs.) (but also... cautious hope for the specials.) (but also sobs.)

my point being. just don't buy alloromantic doctor, they're a near-immortal alien. it's such a dull simplistic way of reading their relationships to other beings. other point being. all those women who were making heart-eyes at ten, wish they'd met thirteen and had a... "yeah, this still works for me," moment. their horizons, too, are broadened by seeing More. (that or they realise they were never actually "in love" but just thought ten was a sexy skinny little snack and it blinded them.) (although jodie whittaker, too, is a snack.)

and lastly lastly ofc, is that if the doctor has a longterm (by doctor time measurement) intense relationship with anyone, whatever that might be called, it's the tardis. and that relationship is also so alien it cannot be quantified by human words for concepts

#im rewatching doctor who #doctor who #dw #aroace doctor #look im rewatching into 13 and beyond i am willing to entertain yaz and 13 because we enjoy a good bit of lesbianism #however will wait and see because the doctor in my head is so so aroace in every incarnation #they just manifest it in different ways #i could go into the whole eleven-and-river and how i feel about that #i am perhaps in the minority in that river's arc just doesn't work for me and often neither does her character #i kind of want to listen to the audio adventures because ive heard she's got much more to do there #than be a flirty enigma/sexy lady/moffat fantasy #but i can say that one of my least favourite things about moffat's run was how 'sexy' he tried to make everything #by literally just having people use the word sexy all the time and talk about bad girls and what have you #it's like sexiness as written by a straight teenage boy #and not a supposedly grown man writing for grown people #other minority opinion perhaps but eleven just isn't my cup of tea #am interested in how i'll feel going back into that run #dont like matt smith much dont like moffat much and dont like what they envisioned for the doctor and how they directed/acted the doctor #feel like capaldi had to claw the character back into some semblance of thematic coherency #i was never too much into especially ten getting a bit high and mighty with lonely god and the like titles BUT #waters of mars places that in a very particular context that makes it so so gooood #(another post for another day about companion opinions)

[kamomie]

I really tried to do a more general commentary on Q!Foolish, but it does focus more so on the recent happenings OTL

Quick note, I’m working with the information we have as of July 30, so things might change and my views and interpretation of q!Foolish might not hold next month LOL

TL; DR

Q!Foolish is a complex character, who doesn’t fully understand consequences in relation to other people, largely because he is unable(currently, might change) and unwilling to view issues from another person’s perspective. He’s self-centered and it’s starting to become a problem for himself and others. This is not to discredit his good sides, which I also touch on, though a little less because this got long just talking about the first part. At the very end I list a few of his traits I don’t touch on in the main text, but I feel deserves to be pointed out too.

Now let’s start! Long read ahead!

One of my key takes on q!Foolish, is his inability to fully understand consequences, while simultaneously being aware of the possibility of consequences, but simply choosing not to engage with those ideas and thoughts. This is because he has a self-centered view, and so when he does think about consequences, he thinks about it regarding himself, and not others. Now, self-centeredness isn’t bad, as I’ve stated before, however it becomes a problem when it starts actively hurting others.

Him arresting q!Tazercraft shows this. While he has sporadically shown a bit of worry for them, he’s largely unbothered. He seems aware that there will be consequences, but it seems like he doesn’t quite understand the severity. Add to it that his focus is still on himself, “It’ll be a lonely path” he says, as if it’s somehow unreasonable for his friends to be angry with him after this betrayal. He simply lacks interpersonal understanding regarding these sorts of negative situations. He seems unable and unwilling to see it from another perspective.

This is not to say he’s completely unaware of others, he’s shown plenty of times that he does have interpersonal skills and understanding. One example being that he understood that people wouldn’t take kindly to his actual reasoning for agreeing to help the federation arrest q!Tazercraft, and so he lied and gave a reason most islanders would agree with and understand. But, again, this is one of the instances where he fails to factor in the possible consequences of his words, because if the truth comes out, people are likely to get angry at him for lying on top of his other actions. There won’t be a possible redeeming in the others saying, “well, at least he was honest with us”, that’s already been blown.

Another example of him ending up being aware of how others might feel, is when he got killed by Pomme. He perfectly knows not wearing armor puts him at risk, and he knows that when he instigates a playfight, there is always a risk one might get downed. However, he simply doesn’t care about the risk, to him it’s just whatever, he can easily brush it off and laugh at it, because to him it’s not a big deal. In this instance however, he becomes aware of how Pomme feels, and so he reassures her. This is an example of him realizing that his actions caused another person to do something that they felt bad about and ending up holding himself accountable for what happened by reassuring Pomme. This, however, seems to be more of an exception to the rule.

Either way, q!Foolish is so sure of himself, that it rarely occurs to him that he might be the issue or that others might not see things his way. And as I’ve said, when it does occur to him, he shuts that line of thinking down. It’s very evident when he talks about his work with the federation, that his focus is entirely on how it’ll affect him, and not how it’ll affect everyone around him. It seems that to him their reactions would be the problem, and not that it’s his actions they’re reacting to.

This part is not entirely confirmed canon! But if we assume q!Foolish to be some sort of immortal, then to me, he gives off this sort of young immortal vibe, that’s a bit arrogant, as if he sees himself above whatever could happen. Like, obviously he’s gonna be fine, right? While also a bit unknowing and uncaring about other people. Kinda like “You’re just dumb if you don’t agree with me/understand me LOL”, not meaning to be malicious, but coming across as entirely unsympathetic. 

Anyway, this is why I hope he gets forced to face the consequences for this traitor arc. I so badly want to see him handle something where the harm was done to others and not to himself, because he can easily brush off the consequences of his actions that harmed himself, but it might surprise him that he can’t brush off the hurt he caused q!Tazercraft.

Another interesting aspect of q!Foolish is his whole “I’m just a silly little guy!” thing. I think he does this for two main reasons, enjoyment of life and unpredictability / getting underestimated. Let’s start with enjoyment of life. Q!Foolish wants to enjoy life, be silly and see where things take him. His easygoing nature can be seen in how quickly he forgives people, how he generally acts, his attitude towards armor and dungeons. It can also be seen in his parenting, as he seems to be one of the more easygoing parents.

Now, I’m not team bad parent q!Foolish- Largely, I think he does great parenting Leo, however his easygoing nature does occasionally create less than safe situations. as an example, when he does dungeons with eggs, his easygoing nature paired with his silliness, will often manifest in him seemingly not taking the eggs safety seriously. He’ll ask the eggs to protect him and send them headfirst into danger, because he fully believes it’s the best way to live and that nothing bad will happen. Add to this that often when he’s with eggs other than his own daughter, he wipes his hands clean of responsibility. “If anything were to happen, it’s not my fault”, is an iteration of what he’ll say. This is not to say he doesn’t care; I’d say, the eggs probably bring out some of his best sides. I think the reason why he doesn’t want responsibility for them, is because it’s one of the instances where is aware of just how terrible the consequences would be to lose them.

But his easygoing nature and silliness also lets the eggs have fun, in a way that they often don’t get to with their parents. Q!Foolish will start playfights with eggs and let them beat him and kill him, all in good fun. He’ll encourage them to do waterdrops and to try things out for themselves.

It also often extend to the other Islanders, they often have a lot of fun with q!Foolish. It’s especially noticeable when q!Bad spends time with him, those two can get really silly with each other and it’s honestly so funny to watch.

Now let’s talk about the unpredictability and getting underestimated. I don’t think q!Foolish is stupid, I do however think he overestimates himself and how well he can handle certain situations. But I think a part of his overt silliness is a way for others to underestimate him. It’s a way for him to feel in control of his narrative. It also creates an air of unpredictability, as it can be difficult to tell when he’s being serious. This is also a part of why people allow his pro-federation tendencies, because surely, he wouldn’t seriously sell them out for a cloud or whatever he fancies in the moment? This unpredictability also serves as a an out for him. He can simply say “Well I’ve always been like this, it’s your fault for trusting me?”, meanwhile he’s been benefiting from this trust and care he’s received from his friends.

The reason I say q!Foolish overestimates himself, is because I think he’s started to realize he’s being manipulated by the federation, however, he thinks that because of this knowledge he has the upper hand, but I think he’s actually playing right into the federations hands. And it’s the same with the other islanders, he thinks he has the upper hand by being deceitful and lying about Richas, and that it means he can deal with whatever comes his way. He just fails to realize that if anything slips out and if he continues this path, the floor will crumble beneath his feet.

Other traits I’ve observed from Q!Foolish:

-Acceptance. He’s shown many times he’s a live and let live type of guy, which ties into his general self-centeredness, because to him doing something others might not agree with, doesn’t matter if he isn’t the victim.

-Adventurous. Q!Foolish, likes going on adventures and trying new things. Not afraid to do something new.

-Hardworking. He’s proven many times with his builds that he’s hardworking.

-Loyal. However, it’s reserved solely for his closest family, Vegetta and Leo.

-Patient. I touched on it a bit above but wanted to add a little something onto it. His patience at the start of the qsmp was slightly above average, after Leo’s arrival, it’s only gotten better.

-Charming. Q!Foolish has a lot of charm, and it helps him tremendously, both gaining friends and staying out of trouble.

-Friendly. Almost always friendly and approachable.

-Perfectionist. Again, ties in with his building skills, he’s very meticulous with his builds and want them to be as perfect as possible, though he’s not overly perfectionist, he’s able to recognize when he’s building something for the first time it might not be perfect, but instead uses it as a learning experience.

-Procrastinator. Often ties in with being a perfectionist, because it requires a lot of focus and so you might stop for a while to catch a break.

#qsmp #q!foolish #qsmp commentary #q!foolish commentary #i love him but he needs to realize you can't play on both sides in a war #long post #mentioned #q!bbh #q!tazercraft #this is not perfect and i'm not entirely sure i'm happy with some of my wordings #but i feel like i got my points across #I'm so interested in seeing where this arc leads #i'm serious when i say long read #it's about 2 a4 pages long lmao

[itsmaferart]

SPY X FAMILY ·· Chap 66 ·· Melinda Desmond

··········Warning: This contains spoilers ············

Now moving on from analyzing the Forger family's dilemma individually and collectively. I want to talk about the most mysterious topic, the woman who has raised so many suspicions among the fandom. Yes! Melinda Desmond, Donovan's wife, and the first lady of the National Union

In this chapter, which continues through a flashback. We can see several interesting elements. In further analysis I do mention the similarities I find in the character of Melinda with the character of Twilight, as I said, I'm not claiming that Melinda necessarily "is a spy" - although it may be possible. But she shows to have a quite interesting level of intellect and whose only difference is that in her, we don't see her POV, something that does happen with Twilight (Mainly because Anya reads her thoughts)

Breeding Methods:

As we had already suspected, Melinda is not exactly a mother "attached to her children." In a rather curious Twiyor parallel, we see that Donovan and Melinda's "happy" reactions gave both Twilight and Yor a "prick" in their respective encounters. We know very well that although Twilight and Yor are possibly the characters with the sharpest instincts when it comes to danger, and while many normal people will find these reactions "pleasant". For them it was an obvious "alert" signal. But, neither of them managed to decipher the true nature behind these strange faces that hide something.

Both parents sounded indifferent to the Forger parents' apologies for Anya's punch to their son, Damiand.

Something that I highlight is how Endo manages that each element, no matter how small it may seem, ends up being a connecting thread throughout the plot and not a random element. Anya's blow towards Damiand has always had repercussions throughout the entire plot

Both parents downplay the matter, taking it as "child's play." And when Yor insists on apologizing, what does she get?

One of the scariest looks!

Evidently, this is a subject that Melinda makes it clear that she "doesn't want to discuss." and it becomes more curious when you hear close friends mention that it is all about parenting principle: the Laissez Faire

Phrase originated in France in the eighteenth century and means let do or let work freely. Where it was exhorted to eliminate the rules and not to impose the children to follow it.

However, for me and I think the whole fandom. This is probably more of an excuse to cover up their disinterest in raising their children. Obviously, if we take into account Dimitrius' apparent success as an Imperial scholar, and the Desmonds' influential image in society, no one questions this philosophy and sees them as "successful parents."

Now... Why are they so indifferent to their children?

There are multiple possibilities, from "not wanting to have children, but they did so because of their influential image, because they belong to a conservative party that follows the idea of the family canon to the letter"; "because their interest is focused on their respective jobs and political and social ambitions" or "because they consider that this supposed freedom will give their children the formation of character, since attachment is weakness"... Or all this happens simultaneously... Which results in how lonely Damiand is, his desire to be recognized for even the smallest crumb of affection or approval.

It may be because she "just didn't want to have them." She may have been forced to marry, due to issues of power, politics and social pressures, or she just didn't want Donovan's children... In that case, it seems that Melinda is more focused on her "own freedom" and not on the been her family

Circle of friendship

Imagine that Melinda's circle seems "impenetrable". They confirm that her current friendships are all those before getting married. But Melinda deliberately interrupts this conversation. She also comments that because of her status she doesn't have many friends: It's probably to avoid relationships with people who want to get something from her but also for security so that any spy doesn't try to get something from her.

And it reveals important details:

The omission of her identity:

In a supposed "white lie", Melinda confesses that she intentionally didn't mention his name. Because she is surely pondering Yor's reactions, from the moment she saved her. If this was a chance meeting, then Melinda was analyzing the reasons why Yor saved her. Did he do it because he knows who I am? Or did he just decide to do it? If she's as analytical a person as Twilight himself, then she could have instantly noticed that Yor was ignorant of who she was with, plus it was so easy to drag her into a match. In a very short time, Yor opened up to Melinda and showed her insecurities as a Mother, and being in a club with many other moms, possibly this woman noticed how "vulnerable" Yoru can be, despite her magnanimous strength.

There is something clear that all this leaves me and it is that: Melinda found in Yor something that "she wants or needs"

Although, there is a possibility that Melinda has an interest in being friends with Yor. She may also have an interest in "influencing her," other than ideas like "parenting, and political and social concepts." And she uses "friendship" as her means to get closer to her. I don't know if she does it specifically out of interest in Loid Forger's character (since we don't know how Donovan had described Loid in private) or if her interest is really in Yor.

Remember how Loid (Twilight) mentioned (lied) that Anya was very moved by Damiand's presentation regarding his parents' professions?

Although I know that Twilight has been a wonderful father to Anya, he is still a spy and will not miss these opportunities to "alter the truth" at his convenience. I wouldn't be surprised if Melinda in this scene played with this same strategy, of "using her son as a pretext" for a rapprochement. (Because obviously Anya doesn't talk about sy-on boy as a friend, she does it for the mission)

Her second look

I don't know if Melinda was trying to contain herself and she can't…or if this look has a subtext…if there is. I'm not sure which one it is.

Now, speaking a bit about the shopkeeper

I think the little that the shopkeeper made clear to us in this chapter is that his view of the Desmonds is... "derogatory." While not radical enough to forbid Yoru, his best assassin, from being friends with Melinda-a clear Conservative Party figure-he makes it clear with hints that he has his own reservations about this family...and can Whether or not this affects the future.

Shopkeeper may have foreseen that they will have to finish off the Desmonds if they discover more background to officially declare him "traitors". And that's when having a bond with them becomes risky. This could be an indirect way of telling us that Melinda (or Donovan) is in favor of the radical faction that took over the "secret government" and caused the division (which may be the same one in charge of the human/animal experiments of the scientist with glasses )

A brief theory would be that in the past: When the conservative party that Desmond now leads financed these secret projects as a future strategy for war, seeking a radical peace where Ostania destroys Westalis. But, the current party, which rules Ostania, although it pursues acts of espionage with the SSS, it may seek peace, but not through a war conflict.

So, now, these secret projects and Donovan's party seek from the shadows to reactivate the war, through other strategies to finance. The Desmonds seek the gratitude and absorption of other companies, financiers and collaborators, and at the same time caused a division in the secret government where the man with glasses is leading the group against Garden and sought to eliminate the entire Gretchen family, as was Olga's case.

Now, Melinda may be directly involved with her husband, they may be pursuing their plans simultaneously, or she may be the one pulling the strings.

If this is so, it is possible that Melinda has also recognized Anya's name (because of the experiments) or as I said, her interest lies in Yor, her husband, or in the entire Forger family. Which would make some sense of her sudden interest in the two sons actually becoming friends.

The freedom of this woman

Another interesting idea mentioned by other very good posts is the idea that Melinda, despite being very intelligent, feels overshadowed in political power for being a woman. Although it seems strange to me that he manipulates Donovan because it is implied that they are not close, she may have strategies and plans independent of his. Socially, she has a lot of power, but at the same time she is very limited by not being able to have much contact with other people and is only limited to her social circle.

Maybe this is the cause that draws her so much towards Yor (personally). Yor is a common woman, with a common life (or so she appears) but she seems to have many more freedoms. In addition, she is incredible and imposes herself with her own physical power, althoung Yoru doesn't realize. Yor ir someone who attracts attecntion and people quickly realizes her potential, but is overshadowed by her insecurity and clumsiness

A chance encounter?

The most intriguing thing so far is whether Melinda did find Yor by chance. Her surprised expressions looked quite genuine so it's possible that this was an event in her favor. This would be the best case, since it puts Twilight and Melinda on the same board. For each one to make their own strategies and meditate the reactions

If it was a planned meeting, it would be much more dangerous. Indicating that Melinda or the Desmond Family has been watching the Forgers closely enough to know that Yor would go to the mall, and that it would save her. And it would imply that they have managed to override Twilight and Yor's keen instincts.

What we know so far is that Melinda is a mystery.

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What are you thinking?

#melinda desmond #donovan desmond #damian desmond #yor forger #spy x family #loid forger #twiyor #yor briar #loid x yor #anya forger #twilight #sxf #spyxfamily twilight #spy x family manga spoilers #spy x family manga #spyxfamily #spyware #character analysis #spy x family yor #sxf manga #sxf spoilers #sxf loid #SxF my chapter analysis

[ratherbeabrcharacter]

Thinking about Movieverse!Morro

Maybe Morro was adopted by Wu when Lloyd was young, so he ended up babysitting Lloyd when Koko was too busy working double shifts. He ends up warming up to Lloyd.

One day, Garmadon burns down Wu's house in the middle of the night, and Wu barely makes it out of the collapsing building trying to help him. And so, wanting no, needing to help somehow, Morro ends up being trained as the Green Ninja. The duo fights together and have each other's back, and for a while, things are good.

However, on the day he was supposed to receive the green ninja gi, Morro almost gets eaten alive by a shark while fighting Garmadon's generals, nearly drowning. Wu has to hear Morro's screams as he's being eaten alive before ripping the shark off him. Afterwards, Morro loses his legs, and fearing a worse incident, Wu benches him indefinitely. Not only that, he enrolls Morro to a faraway college where he won't get hurt in the future when he has to move.

And so, Morro ends up feeling confined in his own body. Needing to train somehow (and help pay the bills), he starts working at the library, simultaneously training his mind, desperately looking for a cure so he can fight again, and prove to Wu he's still very capable of earning his keep. (This is a very toxic mindset btw, not helped by the rumors after his "disappearance" from duty. Wu did NOT mean to make Morro feel this way)

Meanwhile, his pseudo cousin/brother starts making friends at school (he's very happy for him in that regard, poor kid needs some friends he's, not lonely he isn't being replaced) and in a similar vein to Morro, Lloyd really wants to help in some way to stop his father. Wu outright refuses and even bans the subject from coming up again.

Lloyd constantly tries to sneak on missions and almost gets hurt. So resigned, Wu figured that if he was going to stick around anyways he might as well learn some self defense and basic attacks.

When Garmadon tries to burn down his house again, Wu reluctantly starts training ninja again, but in fear of what Morro would feel, he left out telling him anything and swore the ninja team to secrecy.

During research for a ninja mission, Zane realizes that the only place to find any good primary resources was in the Ninjago City Library -where Morro happens to work.

The ninja have no luck trying to navigate the mixed library system (not just organized under by dewy decimal system I'm afraid) Morro overheard their struggles and decided to help them out. They accept his help under the guise of doing a research paper. Still, I imagine, books with the title of "How to Deal with and Defeat evil Villains: A Guide" is very conspicuous. Morro figures out who they are how he's been left in the dark -

abandoned

replaced by someone better

-and confronts Lloyd and co. about it in the back alley of the library.

In the end, he finds himself begrudgingly understanding where they're coming from, the need to do something and they call out a truce. Not wanting be left behind, Morro offers his assistance in exchange for being in the loop.

This isn't exactly the healthiest for him mentally, since similarly to Kai, he's the kind of person who has to take action, to feel in control. But being injured, he becomes a liability on the battlefield, so he's held back and has to sit back and wait. (for his cousin and little group of friends to be injured while he sits on his hands and does nothing)

Morro understands the kid didn't ask nor intentionally tried to replace him, and he's happy for him but-

He's feels a vindictive part of him happy every time Lloyd's hurt

He could be so much better if they'd just let him-

In his final year before college (Ninjago High will teach both middle and high for plot convenience) everything boils over into an explosive argument at school with Morro leaving and moving out in the middle of the night.

He uses his savings to move into his new dorm and ignores his text messages, only saying he won't bother them anymore, since he's at college now.

Wu never moves the house key from under the doormat, just in case Morro wanted to visit or needs something - anything (what has he done)

Lloyd is a mess the kids at school were right about him-how could he drive his own brother away

And the ninja team have mixed feelings

we should've noticed - done better

How could he make Lloyd feel this way

I hope they're okay

We need to give them all some space

Search result for: what should I do I'm confused and sad and mad and

The only (one) time he ever visits is when Garmadon burned down their Wu's home again.

He feels numb, hollow, like a ghost of his former self

In college, Morro roomates with Goultar, who introduces him to his gang of friends Bansha and Soul Archer. They help him out with his living situation since he doesn't want Wu's charity.

He can't go back to Wu like this. no way.

Turns out, they're part of a revolutionary group called the Winds of Change, with the goal of "reshaping Ninjago City as we know it to build a new and better world". Morro thinks they're kinda shady, but chooses not to say anything since his friends (who've done a lot for him, who he trusts) are fervent supporters of the group.

He doesn't want to (can't) be alone

Morro eventually joins the group, and soon, with the help of his friends (and his own merit), rises to the top as 2nd in command. During his time in the group, he's grown more paranoid, snappier, and generally more volatile as he struggles under the weight of balancing schoolwork and attending midnight meetings.

As a final test, the leader of the group, Yang, tasks him and his generals (friends) to steal the realm crystal, an old artifact being on show at the Ninjago city library - where he used to work. The group plans to use the artifact to revive their founder, a woman reverently titled as "The Preeminent" to lead them "into the new age".

Morro's extremely hesitant, even opposing his orders, but his "friends" pressure him into it. "haven't we done so much for you? The old museum curator won't even remember it! Why can't you do just this ONE thing for us?"

And so, using his employee access card (it feels so long ago he was working in these empty halls, he never returned his pass) they break in.

Suddenly, an alarm sounds

Shit! We have to run. They have the ninja on standby here.

What!? You never told me this!

Well duh! The artifact belongs to the Garmadon Family!

Stop! The secret ninja force is - Morro?! Why are you here?

At this point, Morro realizes that he's way in over his head, but it's too late to back out.

In the end, its Lloyd who has to restrains him and turn him in to the cops.

Morro ends up getting a prison sentence, but due to a anonymous word from the Green Ninja is lessened to 2 years.

He refuses any and all visits

In jail, Morro meets Karlof, and they form a tentative friendship. They look out for each other, and despite having some differences, both share a strong sense of determination and stubbornness.

After he gets out of jail, Karlof (who was released first) helps him get back on his feet and offers to let him stay in his apartment. Morro didn't refuse. (He was jus so tired) He knows that Karlof isn't going to ditch him, but when his friends come over he can't hep but fear he's being replaced even tho he was here last.

When Karlof finds out, he looks Morro in the eye and promises that he won't leave him - no matter what.

It's at this point that Morro just breaks - at this point he's just been through so much - from having nothing to a family to a future to being a failure to feeling so so lonely all those pent up emotions just comes out in one big storm. He tells Karlof everything, and I mean everything.

He expects Karlof to drop him - there's no way he would want him around now, but Karlof just gives him a huge hug (it reminds him of home).

Maybe things aren't so bad

Idk where to go from here, but in the end they reconcile with each other and Morro now has a support system (yay!) Karlof's friends welcome him into their group with open arms. I'm still debating wether or not Garmadon will build him a prosthetic (that works like a real arm? Or with limitations he has work around creatively or turn into an advantage?)Will he be a ninja?

Edit: I think maybe at one point the gang members/cult members from the preeminent gang escape and with plans to kidnap Lloyd, fight the ninja. Morro has a choice: to back to them or fight alongside his family. He chooses the latter.

Things aren't perfect, but I'd like to think they're all happy and content together.

Sidenote: I came up with that karlof sideplot on a whim as I was writing this.

Adding one more headcanon - Bansha and Morro bonds over emo makeup and cool music.

Ideas, c&c are welcome and this idea is free to use with credit!

Just if anyone does, please PLEASE send me a link to it cuz I need more morro in my life.

#ninjago #ninjago movie #lego ninjago #Wu should move ngl #ninjago morro #morro ninjago #ninjago au #au #ninjago fandom #lloyd ninjago #llyod ninjago #wu ninjago #text tag #text #writing prompt #story prompt #ninjago karlof #ninjago garmadon #ninjago preeminent #ninjago yang #master yang #yang ninjago #adoption #what tags do i put #ninjago textpost #zane ninjago #ninjago zane #free to use with credit #bansha ninjago #goultard