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#which... says it all huh
inkskinned · 18 days
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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stealingpotatoes · 8 months
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hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)
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Bye bye Sebek, :]
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(he didn’t stand a chance, poor guy :[  )
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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booasaur · 1 year
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NCIS: Hawai’i - 2x05
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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months
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And this too, is vettonso to me:
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obihoe · 26 days
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naruto in that waterfall scene truly was like. the villagers have shunned me all my life and now they love me but its all fake cuz they just love me for what i have done to protect the village i HATE those fuckers, they can shove their autograph requests up their dumb asses and then he is like. well i got the solution. to solve all this hatred. to dissolve it and cure it. i'll just keep trying to become who they want me to be, if i manage to be the person THEY want me to be, they will love me and i'll keep their approval. this is the solution to all my problems ^_^ and then he like, hugs his dark self and it dissolves and the whole thing is done its like sfdfdgdgfs. okay, way to repress ur own feelings and do the exact same thing that youve already Been doing all ur life so far LOL. literally victim-blaming ur own self for what others have put u thru but alright. 👍
#naruto#posts#takes that are news to literally nobody here but yeah ..#its like 'i just have to be strong and be positive ^_^ just like that killer bee guy'#which like yeah cool that killer bee kept his cool all this time and just remained chipper but still.#its not his and neither naruto's fault that he was hated and ostracized all this time. lol#it shouldnt be Their responsibility to just be cool with it. and/or make it better#ANYWAY. this is all obvious but yeah#i also do have to say i kind of like the way killer bee's story of how he grew up was presented. nevertheless#cuz he's just like yo yo yo check out these cool rhymes 😎😎 while everyone throws like tomatoes at him or smth. asfsfdgds#like he just cannot be bothered#even when motoi his friend opens up to him abt hsving tried to murder him (which is like huh?? okay. youre scared#of the eight tails so youre just gonna ATTACK his jinchuuriki? w a silly little kunai as well like okay???)#anyway but his friend tells him he secretly hated him and wanted him gone and he's like whatever man 😎 give me ur fist#we are best bros forever like sfsdsfsfs#its kinda cool i think. like u COULD maybe frame this as 'ppl are going to treat u however they choose but if u just stick to urself#and know who u are. u have worth independent of them. believe in ur own strength cuz youre FUCKING cool and youre YOU#nobody can take that away from u. even if they throw eggs at u' or smth then that would be great!!#but no its framed more as 'well u just have to keep being nice and take it and believe that u can become better#so that they will love u' ... which is :[ like naruto bbygirl fuck those villagers .. u are worthy no matter what they say#ANYWAY. lol#killer bee
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tiistirtipii · 17 days
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Was anybody going to tell me that Perth Nakhun’s name is STEWART or did I just have to find that out myself from the OFFICIAL INSTAGRAM OF THE AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT??
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starteas · 5 months
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Lumi and the Great Big Galaxy got a small shoutout in a Saberspark video and never have I ever felt more gobsmacked than I have in like. Ever
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bongwateriero · 3 months
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people who are attracted to frank but NOT current frank. i don’t trust them. is it because he isn’t skinny anymore
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penandinkprincess · 1 year
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okay but jaskier who has food allergies but doesn’t know it and just says off the cuff things like, “raspberries are so good, but i hate how scratchy they make your mouth” 
and geralt, who can smell jaskier’s body’s response and just has to be like ‘...surely....surely he knows’ while watching jaskier gobble down a whole bowl of allergens until finally he just HAS to be like “you know you’re allergic to those, right?” 
to which jask is just ??? no he’s not?? raspberries are scratchy and chamomile is spicy??
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jaguarys · 7 months
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Coming out as an Itachi defender not because he was at all correct in anything but because I start thinking about him being twelve and being alone believing he's forced to make this immense impossible choice and start sobbing
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nero-neptune · 4 months
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shout out to this movie for teaching me how to spell words that i've never found the opportunity to use in real life lol
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vividxp · 10 months
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I've tried a couple of times to get my thoughts organized regarding white viewers commentary on how AMC's IWTV handles race, but I'll just simply say there's definitely a cynicism that is common in a lot of those analysis that is...bemusing.
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e-adlirez · 1 month
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So this scene in Cloud Castle exists
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I love how Will’s answer for “why aren’t you seeing your nightmares in this place specifically designed to show you your nightmares” is “I go to therapy”
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th3e-m4ng0 · 1 year
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an old, retired warrior
#transformers#art#optimus prime#au#optimus but what if he was old. angry at everyone and everything and lurked in the shadows#and if he also wore a cool (but dirty) cloth to hide his identity#what if ppl thought he died. so they mourn his passing in a ceremony. which he walked into to see whats up and then looks at his face in a#BIG HOLOGRAM and he's just standing there like “huh rip that guy i guess. never liked him” and left#not wanting to hear what megatron would say about him#(megs would be cybertron's leader !!!)#but megs would walk up and say to the public. genuinely teary eyed. how much his passing impacted him and how much he misses his old foe#and everyone would whisper old stories about optimus. remembering how nice he was and how skilled he was in the battlefield#why did he leave. you wonder. i dont know i made this up on the spot#maybe someone told him very mean (horrible) things about how his leadership style was going to doom cybertron or how he was surely going to#end up manipulating megatron and/or going to kill him and all the decepticons#maybe that someone was megatron and he said that stuff out of anger and didnt FULLY mean that#so he was like “ok then”. packed hastily and left without ppl knowing. so whoever entered his room after many days of “sulking” found it#all trashed and assumed the worst#and what does he do... save mechs from crimes like batman. but only when he's around and that's when he's low on energon and needs to get#more (not very frecuently). he's like a cryptid#other than that? build stuff idk. i like to imagine he's an engineer#he lives far. far away from society like the emo old man he is. perhaps near the sea of rust where he knows ppl wont get close#this wont make any sense i gave it like 5 minutes of thought. i just wanted to make an angry optimus design
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