#which was like...just let them be characters and tell their own complicated story without like

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Self Control.

Javi keeps refusing himself what he wants. One night puts everything into perspective.

Pairing - Javier Peña x female reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - Cursing, mentions of blood and death

Word Count - 3429

Author's Note - hello lovely people, hope you're all well. i've been a huge fan of pedro pascal since his narcos days, so all of this love for him happening currently is making me very happy. javier peña is perhaps my favourite tv character of all time, so i'm very excited to share this story with you. i'd always love to write more javi stuff, so if you ever have any thoughts, please send them my way. i'm happy to write for all pedro characters actually!! as always, much love x

Masterlist. Requests.

It wasn't supposed to go like this. 

It was supposed to be simple. A routine raid. Get the information and go. 

How did it all go so wrong? 

Gunshots. Blood. A sea of green uniforms scattering the ground. Escobar had somehow known about it. He was taking no prisoners. 

The Search Bloc had lost men. The Colombian Police had lost men. You were just praying that you hadn't. 

Javier Peña and Steve Murphy were still out there. You had no idea if they were okay. They could be shot, bleeding out. Kidnapped. Or worse. 

No. 

You're driving yourself insane thinking of all the possible worse case scenarios. Your mind can't help but go there. It's instinct. 

You're sat waiting. Hoping. Praying. You've made your home at Javi and Steve's desks - they're more central to the action than your own. You're watching the front doors, sat in Javi's chair. It smells like cigarette smoke, and musk, and him. You let the familiar scent envelope you, allowing it to bring you comfort. You breathe him in. He'll be here soon. You know he will.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Javier Peña was a complicated man. An enigma. He was tough, but gentle. Rugged, but tender. Commanding, but reserved. He was one big juxtaposition. Impossible to read. 

Or so he thought. 

You came along, and challenged every single one of his existing beliefs. You turned him soft - more understanding, more empathetic. He'll tell you he hates it. He lies. 

You weren't supposed to be here. Not really. You'd followed your brother, a DEA agent, all the way from Texas to Colombia. He'd told you he was being sent to South America to assist with the Pablo Escobar situation, and you'd packed your bags without a second thought. You had no one else. Wherever he goes, you go. Except one place. 

He'd died two months into the job. Shot dead by Escobar's men, in a situation that he shouldn't have even been in. And all of a sudden, you were alone. Alone in an unfamiliar place. Alone in the world. 

Javier made sure that wasn't true. He took you under his wing like an injured baby bird, slowly but surely nursing you back to health. He'd been there, when Carrillo had told you the fate of your brother. He'd caught you in his arms when your knees had given out, held you like he was scared you were going to shatter into a thousand pieces. He was holding you together. He has been, ever since. 

You were just a secretary. The odd one out. The only woman. Looked down on. People pitied you, really. You heard the things they said. Even if you didn't understand, you heard. You could take a guess. 

The world was a terrifying place for a woman. It was a terrifying place in general. But it seemed to be less scary knowing that Javier and Steve were at their desks just across the precinct every day. Your safety blankets. Your protectors. Which is exactly why the thought of losing either of them was currently ripping you apart from the inside out.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Your eyes shot up every time the door opened. Slowly but surely, members of the Search Bloc filtered in - many of them bloody, and injured, but alive. You weren't taking your eyes off the entrance to the precinct. Not for a second. Not when any minute, Peña and Murphy could walk in, and everything would be okay again. Any minute now, you reassure yourself. Any minute now. 

You hear steel toe boots on the linoleum floor, and your breath hitches… but it’s Colonel Carrillo. He spots you from across the room and strides over, ignoring any pleas for his attention from the Search Bloc guys. He envelopes you in a hug - professionalism be damned.

“Are you okay?”, you ask when he pulls back. “What happened? I’ve been going insane listening over the radio.”

“I’m okay, mi amor. We’re still trying to figure out what went wrong. He knew, someone had to have told him.”

You’re just about to ask him about Murphy and Peña when he says,

“We got separated in the chaos. I don’t know where they are, but I’m sure they’re fine. Try not to panic, okay?”

He’s looking at you carefully, and you’re nodding, but you know you aren’t going to take his advice. If anything, now you’re panicking more. Men are filtering through the door every minute, but none of them are the two you’re looking for. Anxiety creeps into your stomach, wraps its claws around your insides. You can’t shake it. You feel like you’re being swallowed by dread - it’s all too familiar. You know exactly what it’s like to have someone you love go into the field and not return.

Carrillo strokes your cheekbone with his thumb gently, and leaves to attend to his men. You sit back down in Javi’s chair, trying to burrow into his scent, the warmth of the leather. You can imagine his big strong arms wrapping themselves around you, the way he nuzzles his nose into the crown of your head when he hugs you, how he traces patterns on your back when he holds you when you’re particularly upset. 

You think about Steve, and the way he winks at you when you catch eye contact across the room, or how he throws an arm around your shoulders whenever he sidles over to your desk to bother you. He’s always stealing candy from your top drawer, and then acting innocent when you call him out on it. You feign annoyance, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You know you’re lucky to have the two of them looking out for you. You know you’re lucky to have Carrillo on your side too - life would be undoubtedly more difficult without his protection. They make you feel less vulnerable, more equal. You no longer feel like a lamb at the slaughter every time you walk into work. 

Drops of water hit your lap, and you realize you’re crying. Warm, wet tears slide down your cheeks, taking streaks of your mascara with them. Your lipstick has smudged where you’ve been peeling at the skin of your lips, and your nail polish has been incessantly picked at for hours. You know you look just as much of a mess on the outside as you feel on the inside. You close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Calm down, you tell yourself. You’d know if something bad had happened to them. You’d feel it. 

It’s as if time has become molten - sticky, warm molasses. Minutes feel like hours. The world is moving in slow motion, and it’s making you dizzy. Your breath is coming in short, sharp pants, and the urge to curl up into a ball grows stronger by the second. If the boys don’t show up soon, you’re convinced you’re going to crumble into a thousand pieces. You feel like you’re shattering, splitting apart at the seams. Fear sits on your chest like an ugly, relentless creature, choking you with each passing minute. The world is getting colder, darker, and you’re defenseless.

And just like that, your sun appears. Battered, bruised, bloody, but alive. Standing in the doorway, panting and breathless, is Javier Peña. Before you can register what’s happening, you’re leaping out of his chair, and practically running to close the distance between you. You collide with the solid mass of a man, and he wraps his arms around you like it’s second nature. He smells like cigarettes and musk and gunpowder and the outdoors and smoke and home. Relief fills your body, and the weight of it almost knocks you off your feet. You settle further into his chest like you belong there, pressing your nose into him and inhaling. 

You pull away, and notice that his chest is damp. The tears from before are back with a vengeance, sprinting their way down your cheeks, forming puddles wherever they can reach. You’re not sure if you’re crying due to happiness, or fear, or relief - perhaps a mixture of all three. You’re both still panting, looking at each other in disbelief. You fist your hands into the front of his shirt, as if to ground yourself to him. Checking he’s real. In the flesh.

“Don’t cry, cariño. I’m here. I’m okay. We’re okay.” 

He’s murmuring quietly to you, as if you’re the only two people in the room. He reaches out, and gently uses his thumbs to swipe away the tears that are still escaping. Cradling your face in his big, calloused hands, he looks at you earnestly.

“I’ll always come back, bonita. You know I will. Just like I promised.”

He presses his forehead to yours, and for the first time in hours, you relax. You stay pressed together like that for what feels like an eternity, until you hear familiar footsteps approaching. 

You break away from Javier to get a good look at Steve. He too is battered and bruised - hair mussed, shirt torn, blood staining his jeans and his hands. But he’s alive. That’s all that matters.

“Murphy,” you breathe, before wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You’d go out there and take down Escobar yourself if you could. If it meant you didn’t have to see your friends in pain anymore. This job is killing you all from the inside out, slowly but surely. You’re all shells of yourselves. You wonder how much longer you’re all going to be able to cope before you snap. You have a feeling that these two men in front of you are closer to their breaking points than you think. 

“God, I need to shower. I’ve never sweat this much in my life,” Steve remarks, and now that you’re looking at him, you can’t help but agree. You nod, smirk etched on your face, and the corners of his lips turn up. A slight smile from Steve. That’s a win.

A voice rumbles from behind you in response to Murphy’s statement. Jesus, Javi was closer to you than you thought.

“Yeah, me too. You go. I’ll drive her home.” He places a hand on the small of your back, and you can feel the warmth of him seeping through his palm.  He always runs so hot, you think to yourself. Your sun.

Murphy squeezes your arm and heads out the door, leaving you and Javier standing in the middle of the precinct. Everyone seems to be heading home, the room becoming increasingly quiet. You figure the two of you should follow suit. You gesture at Javi to give you a minute, and make your way over to the Colonel’s office, popping your head in the doorway. 

“You should go home, Carrillo,” you say softly. “You need to sleep just as much as the rest of us.”

He smiles at you tentatively, his face dampened with worry. You can see clear as day that he’s blaming himself for the events of the evening. You also know that there’s nothing you can say to make it better.

“I will, querida. I will.”

And with that, you grab your things from your desk, and make your way over to where Javi is waiting for you. He returns his hand to the small of your back, and guides you to his car.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Your hands are shaking when you try to unlock the front door to your apartment. You can’t quite get the key in the lock, and it’s becoming frustrating. Why are you acting like you were the one being shot at tonight? All you had to do was sit at your desk and wait. Get a grip, you tell yourself. You’ve had it the easiest.

Javi can see you’re struggling, so he reaches out and opens the door for you. You step inside, immediately kicking off your heels and throwing down your purse. You turn on the lamp in the corner of the living room, and draw the blinds. All the while, Javi stands in the doorway, watching you complete your nightly rituals. It’s disarming to see you like this, he thinks. So domestic. So at peace.

He clears his throat awkwardly, and places his hand on the doorknob.

“Let me leave you alone, cariño. You need to rest. The adrenaline of tonight is going to wear off any minute, and we’re all gonna crash.”

He takes a step, but you lunge forward in his direction to stop him.

“Wait! Wait. I - I don’t… I can’t - please.” You can’t find the right words. In fact, you’re not even sure what you’re asking for.

He steps back inside your apartment, and shuts the door behind him gently, making sure to lock the deadbolt. He’s never been a man to take stupid chances when it comes to your safety. When it comes to you.

“What is it, mi amor?”, he asks carefully. “What do you need?”

“You,” you answer without a second thought. “Please don’t leave. I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight if you leave.”

He looks at you for a moment - carefully surveying. He takes in your appearance, the pain in your eyes, the way you look so small and fearful standing in front of him. It’s not even a question.

He kicks off his boots, and takes his wallet and his cigarettes out from the back pocket of his jeans, placing them on the counter. Then, he strides over, across the room, and smothers you in a hug that he’s convinced he probably needs more than you. 

You stand like that, embraced in each other, for what feels like forever. Two people breathing each other in, trying to absorb the other person. If you could crawl into Javier’s chest, bury yourself into his ribcage, you would. No hug is ever close enough. Never enough. It’s never enough.

“I’ll stay,” he murmurs into your hair. “I’ll always stay.”

You pull back to gaze into those big brown eyes, warm and sweet like chocolate. He looks serene, peaceful, almost. You don’t get to see him like this very often.

“You should shower,” you tell him quietly. You’re worried that you’re going to spook one another, so you both keep the volume to a minimum. “I’ll make us some tea.”

He nods gently, and makes his way to your bathroom. Moments later, you hear the water running, so you begin to boil the kettle, reaching for two mugs from your cabinet.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You place a mug of tea on each nightstand either side of your bed, and slip out of your skirt and blouse. You opt for a tank top and shorts - the Colombian heat still unrelenting, even in the early hours of the morning. The sun will be up soon, you think. A new day.

Javi stands in the doorway of your bathroom with a towel slung low on his hips. Droplets of water are journeying down his chest, and your eyes follow, as if on instinct. He smirks when he catches you, watching your face heat up slightly.

“Cute bedsheets,” he remarks. “I like the love hearts.”

He’s still smirking, so you get up to smack him on the arm.

“Shut up, Javier,” you threaten, with no real malice. “Your tea is on the nightstand.”

You turn your back when he changes back into his black boxers, which only amuses him further. He can’t help but admire you from his place across the room. The way your hair blows slightly with the breeze from the opened window, the band of skin between where your tank top ends and your shorts begin, the sweat at the nape of your neck. He knows you’d taste like salt and sugar simultaneously. It takes everything in him not to run his tongue up your spine. You shiver from your spot on the edge of the bed, as if you can read his mind.

“I’m dressed, querida,” he almost whispers. You turn around, and shamelessly let your eyes rake over his golden skin, wishing so badly to reach out and touch him. He’s wearing significantly less clothes than you expected. Not that you’re complaining.

He lays down carefully on one side of your bed, stretching himself out on his back. You turn off the lamp on the nightstand, and lay down on the other side, careful to keep some distance between the two of you. You thought that having him here would relax you, but it seems to be doing the opposite. You feel like your nerve endings are on fire - the room is too warm, you can’t seem to get your lungs to fill with air, you’re hyper aware of every little movement in the room. You’re on edge.

Javi’s breathing is deep, calculated. He’s trying to keep calm. Everything in him is screaming to reach out and touch you, to throw an arm around your waist, to tangle his legs in between yours. He’s not sure he’s ever shown this level of self control.

“Javi,” you breathe. “Relax, please. I can feel how tense you are from here.”

He takes a deep breath before he answers you.

“Sorry, mi vida. I’m just - I’m… I’m trying.”

“Trying?”

“Trying to use every inch of restraint that I have.”

Your breath hitches, and he hears it, clear as day.

“What for?” you whisper.

“To resist the urge to touch you.”

You’re breathing quicker now, and so is he. The air in the room is thick with tension - it’s a miracle you’re both still conscious. 

“You’ve never really been one to deny yourself of the things you want, Javi," you whisper. "You’re not usually the patron saint of self control.” 

And with that, he snaps. He grabs your hips, and uses effortless strength to pull you so you’re straddling him, settled in his lap. He sits up to bring your faces level, and presses his forehead into yours, just like he did mere hours ago in the precinct. 

You know that tonight has changed everything for the two of you. You also know there’s no going back from this - you can’t uncross this line. The friendship that exists between you and Javi, a relationship that’s been so carefully built on trust and support and boundaries - permanently altered if you continue. You just can’t seem to find it in you to care. Not really. You want Javier Peña for all he is, all he has. Consequences be damned.

“I love you, cariño,” he breathes into your mouth. “Fuck, I love you.”

You’re convinced that any minute, you’re going to wake up from this beautiful dream. But for now, you make the most of it.

“I love you, Javier Peña. I love you so much it hurts.”

And with that, he’s kissing you. It’s desperate, and it’s needy, and it’s so full of love you’re worried that you’re going to pass out. His lips are on your lips, and he’s got one hand firmly at the nape of your neck, holding you in place. As if I’m going anywhere, you think. I’d happily stay here forever.

You’re so lost in each other that you don’t notice the sunrise. Dawn hits the window, casting an orange hue across the room. Javi looks like he’s glowing, the sunlight glinting off his hair. Golden boy.

He pulls off your shirt, and presses his chest to yours. He’s convinced you’re tethered to each other - he can feel the connection through your skin. It almost makes him want to cry, this feeling. It’s never felt like this before. It never will again. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, and your legs around his waist, ensuring that there isn’t a centimeter of space between you. You don’t know what today holds. You know it won’t be easy. But you’re comforted by the fact that you know Javi will be right there beside you. No matter what happens from this moment on, Javi is always going to be right there beside you.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you breathe into his mouth.

“I love you, mi alma,” he breathes back. “Mi corazón, mi alma.”

My heart, my soul. It’s as if he took the words right out of your mouth. 

Mi corazón, mi alma.

My heart, my soul.

#javier peña #javi pena #javier pena x you #narcos #pedro pascal #javier pena fic #javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x ofc #javier peña x y/n #javier peña x you #steve murphy #javier peña fic #javier Peña x oc #fluff #reader insert #narcos fic #narcos x reader #steve murphy x reader #horatio carillo x reader #fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #female reader #javier peña smut #javier Peña x reader smut #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller x reader

[comicaurora]

If you still have Sailor Moon on the brain, did watching it at all give you any options you wish to share about other magical girl esk media you wish existed or your own take on how you would create a story in that media space?

If not, then maybe, if you're inclined to, recount some interesting findings about the connections that exist between shojo and shonen media?

(If neither then please disregard, sorry for imposing)

It was interesting! I was surprised at how much it had in common with shonen action anime. Half the boss battles get resolved with a beam clash and the only difference between Super Saiyan and Neo Queen Serenity is whether the hair or the outfit changes.

The one part I found myself sliding off of - due to personal writing preference - is how Usagi is the defacto center of the universe and everyone else is very explicitly playing support. That's part of why I liked the Outer Senshi so much - because they've all got their own ludicrously OP stuff going on, they feel more like equals to Usagi than glorified bodyguards. The inner planet senshi get their own character arcs, which is excellent, but after a while it's pretty clear that none of them can ever finish a fight without Sailor Moon. And that's fine, that's the pretense of the story - their jobs are very explicitly to protect the turbopowerful demigoddess moon princess while she gets her act together enough to remember she can win - but I prefer writing an ensemble cast where everyone feels like the hero of their own story, not the support in someone else's, and that's pretty much antithetical to the core premise of the show.

It also has a lot of the hallmarks of a soft magic system that I personally struggle with - the old "you win by believing in yourself" thing basically means "you win when the plot demands it would be most interesting for you to win" - but again, they can get away with a lot by letting the actual core premise of the universe's power system be stuff like "a pure heart gives you strength" and "the power of love will legitimately make you more powerful." And I respect that the show doesn't just give people powerups whenever - one of the parts I found most emotionally impactful was in the finale of season 3, when Sailor Saturn is going to fight the big bad all by herself and will 100% definitely die in the process, and because Sailor Moon has sacrificed the season's macguffin, she can no longer transform into her powered-up form to help - which doesn't stop her from screaming the transformation phrase over and over, because she is desperate to save Sailor Saturn even if she's been told it can't possibly work. When she gets her The Most Purest Heart Ever powerup at the last possible second, that feels excellent because it's a profoundly impactful character moment that's being supported by the plot with a tangible powerup. It's pretty telling that we don't even see the final bossfight; it's not about the spectacle or the beam clash, it's about the character arcs that surround them. I think that's a really interesting way to handle it and to add depth to an otherwise basic "whose number is bigger" style struggle.

I'm also deeply fond of paragons, and as the seasons go on I really like how Usagi's ultimately kind personality drives her to constantly help, no matter the personal cost or how aggressively people try to dissuade her - and I like that she gets angry and frustrated and even says or does harsh things sometimes, but will ultimately always do what she thinks is right. It makes her feel like a real human being, and the "weaknesses" and flaws in her character - aka the parts that make her something more complicated than a perfectly stoic problem-solving machine - are a lot of fun to watch.

Personal preference, I'd like to see more magical girl stuff where the central pillar of the plot is not a constant will-they-won't-they het romance - but I also like how Sailor Moon as a series is legitimately aware that this is not actually the de facto most important relationship for everyone. Surprising multitude of gay characters aside, I recently caught a season 2 episode where Makoto donates blood to save a close friend, and explains to Usagi that she isn't in love with him, but they have an incredibly profound friendship that's more important to her than any boyfriend, a concept with startles and confuses Usagi. It seems to be a case where the heroine has a Foundational Romantic Subplot that defines the course of her life and the plot, but the rest of the characters get to have more complicated dynamics where their life goals aren't "omg boys", and I liked that a lot!

When comparing and contrasting it to shonen action anime, I think the magical girl genre manages to integrate the lower-stakes slice of life elements significantly more smoothly, and to great effect - the 90% of the show that's silly and ridiculous makes the 10% of it that's extremely serious and gutwrenching much more impactful. That's something that a lot of shonen series struggle with, where the tone goes from "moderately serious with the occasional goof" to "extremely serious with major character deaths." The magical girl genre going from "the dumbest episode premise you've ever heard" to "extremely serious with major character deaths" is a much more precipitous plunge into icy water, as it were.

When I think about how I would write a magical girl story, I basically just smack into the premise of Exalted. Its worldbuilding has exactly what I want - an interesting system of powerset-reincarnation into worthy hosts that allows for complex interpersonal dynamics through varying levels of memory preservation, several different flavors of magical transforming person including Evil Versions, and the one thing I prioritize in my own writing - a world that feels like it can have a lot of main characters and heroes of their own story. Everyone in Exalted has their own shit going on and their own past-life drama, including former friend groups/adventuring parties, soulmates (both regular and evil versions), and anyone who might've previously killed them. Most importantly for my preferences, there's no default main character of the universe. If I were to make an urban fantasy magical girl setting, I'd probably use an extremely similar premise because I find the ramifications of it unbelievably interesting in a way the system itself is not designed to explore.

#asks #not aurora #media recs #writing stuff

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Wanted to share a few more things to keep in mind when writing about a man of color who has ADHD. I really hope most people know why presenting Ed as messy and unable to take care of himself without a White man's help is racist and bad, but there are a lot of other things I see that make me (a brown man with AuDHD) uncomfortable!

If you have ADHD, it's obviously okay to see yourself in a character! But it's important to keep in mind how they might come across as racist when you're writing about a man of color.

Here are some things I see pretty often:

Implying that ADHD means Ed isn't smart or capable. He's canonically a genius! It's okay if he worries he's not smart enough and the text directly contradicts that fear, but please be sensitive to how other characters will perceive a man of color who is very successful and also has ADHD symptoms on top of that. Don't make it sound like bigots are right about Ed. This is a careful line to walk and if you're White I recommend finding a sensitivity reader if you're going this route.

People of color very often will not tell you if we have ADHD. I'm too used to finally getting to a point where people see me as capable, then casually mentioning I have ADHD, and then being treated like a child again. Straight up if you're White I'm not telling you, and when Ed goes around in fics telling everyone he meets, it takes me out of the story. Show his symptoms, have him mention it in his own narration, but he's probably not going to be telling Stede right after they meet. In one of my fics, the only time he ever tells anyone else he has ADHD, it's Zheng, and that's on purpose.

Don't imply that Ed is only successful because of White men keeping him in check. That's racist and gross.

ADHD does not make someone "hyperfocus" on relationships or drop established relationships at the drop of a hat. That is not something Ed does. Please stop making me read this one, people with ADHD have normal and complicated relationships just like everyone else.

And some things you could do instead:

Consider Ed's symptoms based on what we actually see in the show. He's easily exciteable, bouncy, and sensory-seeking, often seeking out touch and experiences.

Remember that everyone's tolerance levels are different. Some people with ADHD really can't sit still, but Ed isn't one of them. When he's focused and mentally in a good place, he has no trouble being still and quiet. When he's doing a boring, quiet task, or when he's feeling intense emotions, that's when he has trouble.

If you're writing about Ed struggling with his symptoms and feeling like a failure because of them - which does happen! I'll be feeling great because I'm succeeding at work and school and then feel awful because I realize I forgot a doctor's appointment! - please let the narrative and other characters challenge those thoughts.

Just...basically, if you're writing about an ADHD Ed, don't let the ADHD take away that he's a very smart, talented, successful, tidy man of color. Honestly if you're White and writing about Ed's ADHD based on your own experiences, I recommend looking into a sensitivity reader. I'm pretty much always happy to do a sensitivity read if you ask. :)

#ofmd #our flag means death

[ikykwklk-ash]

"How did you meet?"

Pairing: Kim Seungmin x fem!reader

W/c: 1180

Synopsis: A normal history and philosophy lesson with Professor Kim Seungmin and the topic "do opposites attract?" and the story of how y/n and seungmin met.

A/N: Hope you like it!! ♡

<<Professor I still do not understand why opposites attract! It does not make sense! We call them opposites, but they could also be equal in theory! >>

It was the twentieth time the poor professor had heard that question. Of course, if we talk about chemistry and physics, it is all different...but in love things are more complicated.

That was how that working day had started, a simple statement from the professor and millions of objections from his pupils.

<<Professor, tell us know what you think! We pupils are always talking, and you keep quiet as if you were in detention.>> One of the boys in the class had spoken only to say that sentence.

Seungmin looked up at him, adjusting his glasses that had almost fallen to the tip of his nose.

<<In my opinion: opposites attract.>> he replied simply, nothing more, nothing less.

<<Come on, teacher, which is not fair! Give us more motivation.>> This time one of the girls said.

What was supposed to be one hour of History and one hour of Philosophy had turned into two hours of debate without even meaning to.

<<I think: it is true that opposites attract, we can say that from many points of view, can't we? You did it in science. The north pole of one magnet attracts the south pole of another and vice versa. We could summarise this in the practicalities of life as 'despite being different from you it attracts you' right? Do you agree? >>

The class had his undivided attention.

<<But if we apply this idea to life, it is not so because there are people who like people of the same sex and people who like people of a different sex.>>

<<Rightful observation, but surely the concept of 'opposite' should not be attributed to the physical but to character. However similar two people may be physically; they will never be equal in character. Consequently, opposites, understood in character, attract.>>

Of course, it was easy for him to attract attention with those words; teaching philosophy had served more than just teaching the subject.

<<Are any of you here engaged?> a third of the class raised their hands.

<<And you professor? He never told us anything about you.>> Cleverly someone took advantage of the moment to ask that question, which elicited a laugh from the professor.

<<I am engaged, but that is all you need to know.>> The pupils, obviously curious as they were, started asking a thousand questions.

<<Oh, come on professor, at least tell us if you are older than that!>> and the professor denied it.

<<Could you tell us whether your hair is curly or straight? And the colour? Does she wear glasses?>> They were flooding him with questions it was difficult to please everyone, Seungmin knew that in their own way they were building up a sketch of his girlfriend to see if she was someone from the school or from outside.

<<Hm let us see, dark curly hair, wears glasses yes, dark eyes, bigger than me by a little but I am taller. She is from Busan while I am from Seoul...>> and so on.

Paradoxically, he had just revealed that they were opposites.

<<And what does her girlfriend do? >> Someone asked in the middle of the crowd of guys who were no longer even sitting in their seats.

<<She is currently working in a bar to pay for his last year of university.>> They looked at him curiously.

<<But if she was older, she should have finished university like you! Prof do not make fun of us.>> He laughed with gusto at that sentence.

<<I graduated earlier than expected and the principal at once provided me with a job here at the school. What, you are not happy to have a young prof? >> he pretended to be offended.

<<Of course we did, but once in a while he could dress in a way that he didn't look like the usual forty-year-old father with three children prof.>> he laughed, maybe he did dress that way, but he liked it, and so did his partner, so he would continue to dress that way.

<<Prof tell us how you and your boyfriend met, come on! >>

He began to tell the long story.

Our two protagonists have known each other for a lot of years, by pure chance they met in the third year of high school following an educational trip to Seoul for the one in Busan and a simple field trip for the one in Seoul.

The teachers from both schools knew each other they had organised that 'field trip' together and so they spent the entire day together.

From small and quick glances, they went on to sit next to each other during lunch, talking and talking to no end, until they exchanged numbers. The two best friends of the little boy with the discoloured fringes soon found out about this and began to make plans to try and get them together. Somehow, they even succeeded.

<<Wait, so you have known each other since you were 16, and if he is 26 now...oh my gosh you have been together for 10 years? Congratulations teacher, I did not expect that to be honest! >> The last few minutes passed quickly amidst the chatter of the students until the bell rang and everyone started getting ready to change classes.

<<For tomorrow I want to bring in a little essay on what you think of the phrase "opposites attract" and I want some good reasons.>>

<<Of course, though, a boy from Seoul and one from Busan who are now in Japan... that is a beautiful story. I wish I had one like theirs.>> There were only two girls left in the class and without knowing it, they made Seungmin smile as he continued to correct the previous week's tests.

With his school day over, he could finally go to his favourite café to relax and spend time with the companion he had fallen in love with ten years earlier.

<<In what sense do your pupils know me?>> Y/n asked as he put the usual things, he always took in front of him: peppermint tea and handmade almond biscuits. <<In the sense that they practically interrogated me about you, honey. They are kids are more curious than Scooby-Doo was.>> he replied, drinking the tea, and making the other laugh.

<<You have biscuit crumbs on your chin love. Also... I understand you are the students' favourite. Where did the subject of us being engaged come from? >>

After wiping himself with a handkerchief he replied: <<From a simple sentence. "Opposites attract". I had intended to lecture but they didn't, so some sort of debate ensued and from there the topic "prof but are you engaged?">>

<<And I guess you did not hesitate to tell the whole story to lend credence to your thesis that opposites do indeed attract. Right? >> the boy sitting at the table smiled, also making the waiter smile, who kissed him lightly shortly afterwards.

#skz #stray kids #seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #fanfiction #kim seungmin fluff #seungmin fluff #fem!reader #changbin #felix #han jisung #jeongin #lee know #bang chan #hyunjin #seungmin teacher #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids x reader #y/n #kim seungmin #kim seungmin scenarios #kim seungmin imagines

[deathc-re]

how they view sex...

characters : luffy, zoro, law, cyborg franky x gn!reader

warnings : this is all over the place, idk if it even follow the prompt, mentions of jacking off, over stimulation and sex ofc

an : just some hcs of my most fav characters

luffy

i'm among those who think luffy is ace but i also think, seeing as he is one really intuned with his instincts and such, he wouldn't wanna ignore the urges when they come.

maybe even demisexual

he wouldn't be embarrassed by it or anything, he'd see it as another natural thing (which it is)

if he has a partner then he'd make use of them, going at it until he's satisfied. if not, he'd make like any other dude without an outlet and use his hand 🤷🏾

and like i said before, even though he doesn't really have an innate desire or want for sex (a sex drive if you will) i think he'd notice when his partner is feeling needy and make it his own personal mission to satisfying them. over satisfying them even. seeing you happy, that after sex glow only adding to the beauty of your tired lazy smile, will definitely have him over the moon.

zoro

as much as i love sex god zoro i think he'd see it as a waste of time. or just something he wouldn't go out of his way to do, therefore making him really inexperienced

he has one goal and that's really all that takes up his mind

that and when he can peacefully enjoy some booze again

seeing as he's inexperienced he'd be really shy about it. of course, it would hurt his pride to admit that so you won't be able to tell until your just about to cross the line.

when nature takes its course, of course he'd relieve himself but he'd be embarrassed about it after.

trying to justify his actions (to himself) by going on and on in his head about how a healthy body is necessary to becoming the best swordsman.

if he has a partner though it'd be a whole other story. i think any little thing about them will make him wanna fuck. to put it bluntly.

so with that in mind, he'd think of it as a perfect way to let off some steam and admire everything about his partner

law

i think he would also think of it as a waste of time when single. a nuisance even

everything from finding someone he likes or even just finds attractive and going through the whole process of flirting etc etc

he is also definitely inexperienced but not bad at it. with him being observant he'd figure it out as he goes.

it's just annoying, even more so if he likes them romantically. then the process becomes even complicated.

if he has a partner then of course, his view on it will change. though he won't admit it.

he'd find it less of a nuisance and more of bonding time kind of. i think when the both of you have the time he'd wanna make love instead of fuck.

he's a closeted romantic if you will

with that in mind, he'd view sex as something to express the deep emotions he has for his partner when he can't find the words.

franky

franky literally calls himself a pervert but he gets no bitches. no maidens. no lads. no nothing

he isn't a virgin but also he isn't well versed in the realm of sex

he views it as something you do with someone you really care about. he isn't one for hook up culture.

i think he's pretty good at concealing when hes aroused or anything like that, other wise it's extremely noticeable (the speedo)

but when he is, it's very uncomfortable for him. metal hands don't really make for the best jack off tool lmao

when he has a partner hes definitely vocal about what he wants, when he wants it and expects his partner to be the same

his views on sex stays the same, and he's glad he's found that someone to let loose with ( it's super)

#[moon's mind] #one piece #one piece boys #cyborg frank x reader #cyborg franky #law x reader #zoro x reader #luffy x reader #trafalgardwaterlaw #zoro roronoa x reader #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #one piece smut #headcanon #one piece headcanons #x reader #x reader smut #zoro x reader smut #law x reader smut #one piece luffy

[nihilnovisubsole]

i think i followed you Back In The Day, seven years and seven blogs ago, for something related to mass effect (zaeed? maybe? who could say) and it's wild to come back to this site years later and find you thriving, surviving, growing-- playing ffxiv! love that game. curious how you'll feel about some side characters in shadowbringers, but i won't spoil which ones.

i do have real questions, though; writing tools. not pens or software, but personal structure tools and/or guidance. what does a beat sheet look like, for you? do you have a favored way of outlining or note-taking on your own thoughts when putting a story together?

and... i'm really curious how you hold a big story together in your head while you work on it in pieces, especially for something like dangerous crowns. there's this larger story i've been chasing around for a while, and I can't quite wrap my head around how to write the political/espionage plot for it without feeling like i've actually written a children's pantomime. the best i've got so far is "research real life events and use those as my outline" but after a point it becomes hard to keep track of all the variables of who knows what about whom, who is planning x when y, etc, etc. the characters don't need to know all that-- and may never know some things-- but i feel like /I/ need to understand what's happening on the macro level so i can move the world around them appropriately.

short version: how do YOU wrap your head around writing complex plots?

hey, anon! i started endwalker this week after a long... uh... glamour detour, so don't worry about spoiling things. i spoil myself for a lot of stories on purpose anyway. let's just say i've been attached to one too many characters who got killed.

anyway. writing. i've always handled plots the same way: clear documentation. if i don't note it down, i'm not going to remember it. i've used the same table outline since around 2014. it varies in detail for different projects, but the core format stays. i know it's kicking around in my blog archive somewhere, but it's worth reposting once in a while because people like to ask about it. here's what it looks like, featuring plot points cribbed from an endeavour episode:

i used this format for an outline at work a while back, and the team found it easy to follow, which was a big day for my ego. keeping track of plot structure is even more chaotic at work because we have multiple writers who all need to stay on the same page. we have very meticulous notes on what the player should know at which point, when we're introducing new information, and what we know, but shouldn't tell. we're also not above leaving notes like "this character has to convey X," "this character has to learn Y here," or "this is a clue that they're planning Z." it can be super on-the-nose. all that matters is that it makes sense to you. because you're right - if you get too lost, you can write yourself into logic holes of tremendous proportions. ask me how i know!

[as a sidenote, researching real-life events as a starting point has really grown on me in the past few years. my lead on coh3 had me do it. he said we were dealing with real people's history, so we couldn't be cheap or play fastball - we had to be accurate to pay it respect. even if you're not writing historical fiction, it just gives you insight into how people behave.]

i would argue that the plot of dangerous crowns is actually not that complicated, maybe to its detriment. there's kind of a genre struggle going on. at voltage, we were taught romance fans came for the relationship beats and valued them above all else. in fact, leadership told us players got irritated - which meant less sales - when the plot was too complex and took time away from the making out. political thriller fans, by contrast, expect relentless twists, high stakes, and harsh consequences, and sometimes see the relationships as superfluous.

but whatever. the point is, when you look at dangerous crowns' structure, it's a pearl necklace: a chain of anchoring events. the "pearl" scenes are where Big Plot happens. they're the reason you want to write the story, and probably the ones you have the most vivid daydreams about. the scenes in between are the string. not flashy, but important because they connect the pearls. they build tension and add logic, cohesion, and context. take the opera and hector's failed assassination. those are pearl scenes. that's a burst of drama i really wanted the story to build up to. i also had other flashbulb visions. livia by the fountain questioning herself, marcus' macbeth moment, the temple riot, things like that. so the question was, how could i believably travel between these pearl scenes? how could i make these big showcase moments connect smoothly?

if you're having trouble holding the story together in your head, i would ask, "what are your pearls?" what are the anchor points? outline those. it might not look like a necklace yet, but you'll sort of see it taking shape. and then, once you can see where your heart's-desire milestones are, you'll have a clearer idea of what can't fire until you set it up first. two other neat things can happen here. you could find the rhythm of your pacing, or realize you have a lot more plot meat than you thought you did. even if you don't, you have some road. and if you can't think of the string, sometimes you just have to start writing the pearls and see what comes to you.

good luck!!

#asks #anon #writing #long post

[yellowocaballero]

SHAZAM SHAZAM SHAZAM pls tell us about billy batson. ive only ever seen the movies o great comic knower

Very very very VERY far from comic expert (that's brawltogethernow) but I have read a lot of Shazam. His history is actually really, really fascinating and involves more than one lawsuit that really defined very early comics. I'll focus on one thing, though.

There are two Captain Marvels: One from the 1940s to around 2013, and one from 2013 til now. The Captain Marvel you're familiar with (who is named Shazam) is from 2013. He's a more realistic, grounded character. He was created to be pretty much the polar opposite of his original version. The best summary is to say that the Wizard chose Billy Batman 1940 because he had the purest heart, and the Wizard chose Billy Batson ~2013 because he was there. My personal 'best' Shazam story is the "Shazam: The Monster Society of Evil" graphic novel by the guy who made Bone. It's good because it's for elementary schoolers yet acknowledges this small child as homeless. Which, don't get me wrong, you shouldn't always do. My personal favorite is the 1970s ones.

As some background: Otto Binder was the creator/main writer of the very early Captain Marvel comics. He was by far and away the best writer of the early Superman Silver Age comics, because all of his comics were batshit insane. Shazam has a complicated and legal history with Superman, so the 1970 run was a super fun high camp tongue in cheek reinvention of the best Silver Age stories.

So the 1970 Captain Marvel comics are insane.

I can't even summarize them without sounding crazy. Basically the conceit is that Captain Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr, and Mary Marvel (Billy, Freddy, and Mary) are having 1940s Golden Age Adventures when they get somehow in suspended animation and are basically time travelled to the 1970s. This don't bother them too much. Why would it bother them. Nothing bothers these people. Nothing. I don't think anybody experiences a negative emotion in these comics. Not bc they were twee. Bc they were insane.

Many of the comics basically had three shorter comics inside it: one Billy story, one Mary story, one Freddy story. Interestingly, they all had different art styles, artists, types of story, genre, etc. Billy's stories had a cartoony art style with very over-the-top and silly plotlines that involved supervillain bad dudes. Freddy's art was slightly more realistic and was slighty more grounded, but still had some classic Marvel indescribable scifi that can best be summarized as that one meme panel people have seen where Sivana recites a science equation that lets him walk through walls. Mary's stories were much more realistically drawn and featured the most banal shit, like her starting a club with her friends. Somehow Mary Marvel gets involved in those.

Sometimes they worked together and did superhero things and fought bad guys. The average fight looked like this:

Billy was a twelve year old who lived by himself, in his own apartment, had his own radio show, a full-ass job, a whole thing as Captain Marvel. He paid fucking taxes. Everybody knew this and nobody cared. He's the most affable, good natured kid on the face of the planet. Nothing bothers him. Nothing. Nothing bothers any of these people. Sivana shows up and he's BIG MAD so he's creating another death ray and Captain Marvel shows up like "Oh you rascal! Time to punch this and go back to helping my friend eat his infinite Jello."

He has a friend named Talky Tawny, who is a talking tiger wearing a suit. He also has a friend named Sunny Smiles, a person of indeterminate gender who everybody falls in love with, for unexplained and unknown reasons. Not to be confused with Freddy's friend Gregory Gosharootie, the "World's Dullest Mortal", who is so boring that nobody notices him and he keeps accidentally comitting crime. There is also an old guy named Uncle Marvel who pretends he has superpowers, which they all find funny so they just roll with it. Freddy is a disabled orphan who has to sell papers on the street corner to make a living. Mary lives in a middle class suburban home with loving foster parents. It never once seems to occur to Mary's parents to adopt Billy, for Freddy to live with Billy. Everybody is happiest this way.

I do think this is partly why a good Shazam comic has to be aimed at the 6-12yo demographics. They have to be for small children, because Billy is living a complete and utter power fantasy that only a ten year old would think is a good idea. He's a kid, and he doesn't have drag parents or a lame family, but he can turn into Superman, and he can also do magic, and everybody loves him and thinks he's the nicest person, and his supervillains are Dr. Doofenschmirtz and a worm, and his supporting cast is like okay my sister if she HAS to be involved, but also my best friend who is a paperboy! but cool because he's disabled, and….

Look, you could engage with that seriously. You could go "holy shit this is a homeless child". That's fine. That's what they do these days, and that's what they did in the movies. Nothing wrong with that. Take the story more seriously.

But also they don't give a worm the electric chair in those stories, so.

To actually give some commentary on these comics: these comics really love people. I've never seen comics that were so entrenched in their community. The kids just know everybody they meet on the street. Freddy delivers paper up and down every block, so an average story for him is just talking to a butcher or baker or old man or grumpy housewife and helping them out with some batshit problem. Mary's a sweet girl who's always starting clubs with her friends and taking on neighborhood projects. Many Billy stories involve one of his many friends falling into some trouble and Captain Marvel helping them out - or just exploring some fun with Billy hanging out with Sunny Smiles, who is a person of indeterminate gender who for some reason has magic love brainwashing powers -

This isn't the biggest #Shazam take, but I think a good Shazam story stays grounded in that. These are poor street kids who love Fawcett City so damn much. They love fighting their supervillains, but they love helping out the random guy off the street with their problems even more. Way more so than Spider-Man or a lot of other guys, I think of the Marvel family as the friendly neighborhood superheroes. They're both larger than life and street level. They're Superman level powers but they just use the powers for wrapping up their hijinks. Isn't that nice? Aren't you tired of going apeshit? Don't you just want to be nice?

#captain marvel #shazam #mary marvel #freddy freeman #billy batson #captain marvel jr #mary batson #i pulled open the old comics to review to write this #and as a kid I was like. #“hah! silly old silver age comics! they don't know how dumb they are!” #but reading it now im like #“holy shit i think they're doing it on purpose. holy shit. i think this is the most sarcastic comic ive ever read.” #“I don't think this is the funniest thing ever on accident. I think these were jokes. This comedy is sublime.” #genuinely they hold up SO well. they're fucking delightful. #high camp. #my writing #my asks

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

What would happen if Dream abandons his post, like Destruction did?

I know it's not in his character, but hypothetically, what do you think the consequences would be to the world?

interesting question!

i mean, to get the obvious out of the way, the first thing the universe would do would be appoint a new dream of the endless, the reason there hasn't been another destruction is bc he's been keeping his sigil on his person, refusing to abdicate fully, because he doesn't want anyone else to have to get dragged into this

but since you said like destruction did, assuming this was also the case for dream, let's start with this conversation

(and the line here that does always stick out to me is "things still change", because it really does boil down the endless to their most fundamental property - they are all vehicles of change. because life needs change and change needs life, that is the thesis at the core of sandman, that flows through almost every character in different ways, and if you have seven beings that represent the fundamental aspects of life, that means the things they have power over are the things that change people)

(i also still haven't gotten over the time when delirium asks what the word is for the thing that lets you know time is happening and dream just says "change", but now we're getting off topic)

essentially what destruction's saying here is that destruction will happen with or without him, but instead of being in the hands of one of the endless (a being with their own rules and restrictions, their own place in the cogs of the universe), it's in the hands of humanity (or mortals in general, in the comic world where alien species are a common thing)

fate is a really complicated subject in sandman, with both destiny and the fates as separate agents, and within that both can be surprised and influenced by the right person, but all the endless have some kind of connection to time through their father, and if there is a grand plan that's supposed to be fulfilled via the endless' aspects, they would be the ones to push those pieces into place. whether they're aware of it or not, there is some kind of order to how they care for their aspects, they have an instinct for the way things 'should be' (see: literally any prediction any of them have ever made based on their aspect)

and that would be what destruction is deliberately ignoring here, and instead letting every piece fall into place how it will, through the chaos of mortals making their own decisions

and that's a decision that's backed up by the story! because the other thing that sandman does like to push is that ultimately fate is nothing in the face of mortals. the endless exist because of living beings, not the other way around, as dream says to desire. and we see with lyta in kindly ones, she pushed the fates into acting against dream. they didn't go after dream because of the blood debt, the blood debt was the loophole that let them interfere, because lyta was going after dream, and she invoked their power to help her

why should the endless remain caretakers, asks destruction, if it only hurts them, and ultimately they're only needed to complete some arbitrary plan?

(dream who views everything as a story, which must by definition have an author and an ending, fundamentally does not understand this)

so if we extrapolate from there, if dream were to abdicate, there would still be a dreaming, but dreams wouldn't be crafted to serve the stories of the dreamers, people would learn nothing from their dreams, it would be chaos subject to the mind of the individual dreamer. some people still may have helpful dreams, but some people would be hurt by them, and there would be no predicting what would happen. you'd also lose a lot of the knowledge that dream keeps in the library, and there'd be no telling what would happen to all the creatures he's brought into the dreaming to be immortal

(as far as "but we saw the dreaming without dream for a hundred years" goes, i don't think that's a perfect example, because the dreaming is an extension of dream, you can't rip a being in two and expect both halves to just get on with their independent lives. they were hurting being apart, but they were still the channel through which mortals dream, which meant everyone's dreams got thrown into pain and chaos. whereas the dreaming that would be formed through mortals alone would, for better or worse, have nothing to do with the endless)

but there is another clue that throws a spanner in this whole thing so far - death. because destruction isn't the only time one of the endless have abandoned their duties. there's a really short death side comic called a winter's tale, most of which got turned into everything death says to dream in episode six, but there's one page that didn't make it into the tv show

death stopped taking souls. death did not move on without her. mortals were not able to kill each other. and if nothing dies, nothing changes, and the world is thrown into a very different chaos than if death just happened randomly.

i don't have a concrete answer for what this means in regards to all of the above? but here's some possibilities

1) everything i said about destruction holds true for all endless, but this wasn't death leaving her post, this was death deliberately rebelling against the system. she was still pushing pieces into place, but where they shouldn't be, actively holding people back from dying

2) everything i said holds true for all endless but death. because death is different to the others, she's death. the endless cannot experience their own aspect. the ritual that surrounds the lives of the endless don't apply to her, it's specifically stated in regards to the funeral shrouds that there's only six. she must be there for the ending of all things, including her siblings, she has no way out, so she can't just abdicate her post like the others could, even if she wanted to

3) it works differently for all of them. this is the one i personally think is least likely? but since i don't actually know for sure, i think we can consider it might work for dream like it does for death, rather than for destruction (the elder three do have more fundamental abilities, after all). in which case, dream doing what destruction did would have disastrous consequences. it would start with dreams you have while asleep, mortals would only be subject to already created dreams, which may also fade over time into nothingness. but the dreaming isn't the only thing dream has dominion over. stories, creativity, connection, hope, faith, these are all things that fall under his purview. if you could tear those away from humanity, what you'd have left wouldn't be humanity

#honestly im inclined to go with the first explanation bc we know death CAN refuse to take souls #see: hob #but yeah all are interesting #sandman comic spoilers #dream of the endless #destruction of the endless #death of the endless #mine #meta #ask

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/737771866482212864/one-thing-i-hate-in-modern-adaptations-is-when-ppl

This is actually kinda an interesting example of the weird tokenism that's currently being peddled in Hollywood for some time. You have a story where you actually have an under-represented group, but because it's the wrong kind we're just going to swap them so that you can visually see the difference, and so it fits our worldview in a completely different part of the world.

Let' me switch the sides for a second: Does Hollywood actually think that poc want to have the "leftover" roles from white characters? Do they honestly think that pocs feel more represented when being put into a story that didn't actually include them and doesn't feature their cultures and heritages, and doesn't even acknowledge them as a poc character in a white story? Do they honestly think that poc people want a white story, by a white author to represent them? That poc want to be stand ins for fantasy racism against fantasy creatures? This story features hate against magical creatures like elves... how about we just add in regular old racism again poc instead? As if the rule is that if there's racism, then pocs have to be victims of it, even if the story tells about fantastical racism. Why can't Poc simply exist in a story where they aren't victims of racism?

Especially if it ends up being such a waste of time and money like what Witcher ended up being, especially the "Origin" spin-off, made by people who hated the source material, and who hated and ousted on the one singular man who not only wanted to respect the source material, but even fought to have vital parts of the story respected until he couldn't anymore. Then they blame "We thought our audience were brainless mongrels so we didn't want to make it too complicated for their little stupid brains." Great, not only did you ruin one of the few stories that was by a Polish-Slav about Slavic and Polish folklore which already doesn't have much of a foothold, and wasn't the typical anti-Slavic Hollywood + "everything is Russia" storyline, but you also insulted the intelligence of your audiences, didn't actually give good rep to pocs, and you even managed to shit on the value of representing actual poc stories once again by giving them scraps.

I've also noticed this has started the stupid trend between fans, because instead of pointing out how stupid Hollywood is, and noticing it's Hollywood doing this shit, I see poc making fun that token-trend with comments "If a poc movie for pocs is made, by pocs and written by pocs, don't forget the token white character." Yeah, exactly we all see the problem don't we? That's why everyone clowns on it, but it's like people just kinda forget how stupid this trend is when it actually comes to throwing the hard critics at Hollywood. Where are the stories for the people who want to be represented as their own figures and stories for once? Without having a stupid token character because Hollywood thinks people are too dumb to identify or root for a character who doesn't look like them. We don't need useless token characters, we need stories that are made FOR the people, written for them, with care.

We want poc stories. We want black stories. Asian. Latine. Indigenous. Hell even Slavic. Whatever! Written by them for them, we want to see stories that can just BE these stories without the need for token characters awkwardly forced in. Tell me a story where the identity of the characters is respected and fully realized! Who needs a token character when you have actually stories where these characters actually get their stories told instead of being a footnote or a throwaway line? I want to watch a big blockbuster movie who's source was written by eg a black woman, about her culture, shaped by her experiences, and with black actors who are playing roles that were always for them. I don't want another "Hey this book was written by a white person, how about we just turn some random white characters poc and call it a day. Who cares if the author doesn't know how to write a poc experience, they'll just eat it anyway." I'm not saying that a person can't write about characters of a different ethnicity not their own either, especially if they actually do research and ask people of that ethnicity or find good resources, etc! Write what you want, put effort into it and your heart.

But we first need to set a precedents for authors to be able to write for themselves and their experiences tied to their identity, to get a voice and be featured above constantly using stories that weren't made for it. If the story was made for Polish slavs, then make it a story for polish slavs. If you want a high fantasy story with actual poc characters that was already part of the story, then go and find one of the thousands of books by various poc ethnicities that already cover that!

Bullshit excuses by Hollywood that poc stories don't sell are a fucking sham. The old fucks at the top just hate the idea of actually doing something for actual diversity, by giving poc people a chance to see their own stories on screen that they themselves have written.

--

[utahlive]

This ask isn't directly for Wilbur or the blog, but rather the person who runs this. A bit of an ooc ask about world building and expanding this universe since I'm invested

Are we as the audience perceived as people in this universe watching this show/documentary about Utah at our homes, sending in questions via telephone. Or are we just random people that show up in the gas station and keep coming back one by one at random times to talk about the "Dabi cosplayer". (I'd like the imagine the second one; just a but of faceless people pressed up against the glass outside asking the weirdest questions. Fits the vibe)

Do you, the owner of this blog, have a part to play in the universe? Are you the director to the show, a main camera man, or something else.

The fanart that's made for this blog, I'd like to imagine it's—again—just faceless people running up and slapping drawings they make on the convince store windows and running off, leaving the producers and Wilbur with it. Stuff like that :]

Im gonna be honest I said I was gonna do author q&a today specifically so I could answer this ask because I feel weird just answering it willy-nilly

I tend to be... pretty bad at storytelling. I always get wayyy too into my own head, and things get so complicated to a degree where only I can understand whats going on, which is something im obviously trying very hard to avoid. However I don't wanna sacrifice the story I want to tell, so I'm just doing my best here.

One of the biggest limitations right now is that I'm just struggling to explain exactly how the world works/the translation between "Utah" and irl/us. The biggest ones are time and what exactly is being aired, because obviously it doesn't take one whole day to answer two questions, but I don't have the energy to answer more than two q's per day. And of course the 'film crew' arent actually filming Wilbur while he's sleeping or anything like that, but it's hard to tell the story I want to tell without having scenes like that. Im hoping that things will get smoother as we go, but for now I've just been making it so that episodes that dont have 'transcript's in them aren't filmed (or have "artist rendition" notes), and lets say that even though its been over a month of answering questions for us, it's only been two or three weeks for wilbur.

As for what you guys are, you're viewers who are calling in from home! Kinda like a radio show. No one is physically showing up to the store or his house (that would be really funny though). I did have some scrapped ideas that I may bring back later about the film crew, but for now "they" dont have any deeper place in the story. I'm the camera man, I guess! I've been imagining it as just some guy with a camera in one hand, a headset to listen to calls, and a little paper pad to write down answers.

There are 886 asks in the inbox right now! Not all of them are asks, some of them are just comments about whats happening (which I love, I <3 hearing what you guys think) but unfortunately I can't answer all of them. I have a general outline so whenever I do pick story/plot asks, its ones that fit that outline, and every other time I just try to be funny.

nor/mal (jk. he/they/xe)

I was typing out the whole story and reasoning behind the pictures I chose but it was getting way too long (because I ended up going down a rabbit hole). Basically I found an old blog from 2010 where a girl had posted a picture of her room, it was a very positive post so I didn't think it would be offensive to use it (also there's a comment from 2016 on the blog post asking if the image can be used as reference, no reply, the author of the blog has not logged in for years). The bathroom was made in the Sims 4/I used pictures of my own dorm bathroom

smoked a blunt in the woods and thought about cwilbur's character arc a little too hard

im shy 👉👈

fucks me up that people continue to think about this blog after liking/reblogging

#utahlive #4th wall break #drugs #cw drugs

[lovethistoomuch]

10 characters 10 fandoms

I was tagged by @birdkeeperklink thank you so much! I really had to think on these since, as per my url you can guess there are a lot. (sorry for the late reply. I got no excuse, really, except life continued to happen around me and deciding who to pick was really hard.)

in no particular order (though Loki is Number 1, I'm sorry everyone else), here we go:

1. Loki Odinson from MARVEL

I just love him so much I've written a 78K fix-it fantasy novel (not finished) to give him the happy ending he deserves. there is no other character I identify with harder than this one: a younger sibling full of rage, always feeling overshadowed by the older one, just wanting to prove their own worth and show the world that they are capable (i got over this a lot in recent years but my love for him still remains.)

Tom just plays him so perfectly and I am so heartbroken that the writers at MARVEL did not know what to do with him, so they killed him off (the Loki show doesn't count because that's not him okay.) he's always having a good time, he's snarky and clever and desperately needs a hug. how can you not love him?

2. Mr. Spock and Leonard (Bones) McCoy from Star Trek TOS

Yes, they are two people but I just couldn't choose between them!

The grumpy surgeon with a heart of gold an the emotionally suppressed but deeply loving vulcan live in my heart rent free ever since I was a child. Spock was my first crush ever and his complicated relationship with McCoy has always fascinated me. they are two incredibly complicated people and there isn't enough space here to describe why. writing them is just as much fun as watching them and I actually own the autographs of both Leonard and De.

3. James Wilson from House M.D.

he's a man of many contradictions: he is kind but also House's best friend, he loves people dearly but can also tell them to fuck off. he is confident and funny and he helps people without being a pushover. he loves all of his his wives but cheats at least once. he is a walking mystery which makes him a great friend for House and a nightmare to write. I just love him! also, that smile!

4. Castiel from Supernatural

Cas is the character, truly! he can go from nerdy to badass in the blink of an eye. a cosmic being that plays dress up just to make one human smile, who should be nothing but an ant to him. he fiercely protects the people he loves and always tries to do the right thing. the character that inserted himself into the story against the writer's will and changed the narrative for ever. when he came on the show, I hated his guts. and look at me now...

5. Zuko from Avatar the last Aribender

you simply cannot talk about redemption arcs without mentioning Zuko at some point. an exceptional character amongst a cast of exceptional characters. I once joked that 90% of his lines were just him screaming but that poor boy has so much rage inside him, and with all that trauma, can you really blame him? he is the epitome of character growth and a fascinating example of how the villain can become a hero without taking any shortcuts.

6. Stephen Maturin from the Aubrey-Maturin series

if you read the books, you'll know why. this fucking lunatic is so oblivious to his own eccentricities that you just have to love him. nobody does it quite like him to be honest. no, Stephen, people will not think you're eccentric because you practice sword fighting on deck, however they might think that because you let loose 1000 bees on the ship and run around naked. he has no sense for proper etiquette and i love him so much for it. also, he get's on a ship without being able to swim and performs open brain surgery on deck. he is incredibly skilled and the best damn doctor in the entire fleet. also, his dynamic with his best friend/captain is one of the best friendships I've ever seen/read.

7. Scrooge McDuck

this might be an unusual choice but i grew up reading comics and at one point in my life i figured out that all of my favourite stories were writen and drawn by the legendary Don Rosa, who in his book "the life and times of Scrooge McDuck" created one of the most fascinating and fun to watch characters i've ever seen. starting from humble beginnings and rising to the top through his percevierence, fearlessness and ingenuity, inevitably losing everything he loved and ending up alone, only to be found by his family again, his story is one of my absolute favourites in literature. i know that due the never ending nature of comic books, he can never truly get his happy ending but I really wished he could.

8. Keeley Jones from Ted Lasso

I don't think I've ever seen a woman like her in any media to be honest. she is so clearly feminine and embodies all the traits of a woman that would normally be depicted as bitchy, toxic and self obsessed but she is just none of those things. she is a girly woman who loves pink and cries and she is just so human and lovely and i love her so much for it! her friendship with Rebecca is also so amazing and feels very real and true to what friendships between woman are actually like. I just love her as a beacon of healthy femininity and can only hope that there will be more characters like her in the future!

9. Kim Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium

the voice, the looks, the everything! the moment I met him I knew I wanted him to be my best friend for ever! his deadpan delivery combined with his dorkyness and his shere competence had me on the floor on multiple occasions. I have not finished the game yet but I have never had a companion this incredible in any video game ever! I could listen to him read the phone book for hours. when he went "daba doop doop dead" I died. also him jumping in when I fail a check has to be the most badass thing ever. I love you, Kim. please be proud of me. (also, I know he probably has a darker side to him that I am not seeing right now because I am always choosing the nice options but hey, the best characters are the complicated ones.)

10. Cole Turner from Charmed

this show was so much better when he was in it! the half demon who crosses over to the good side without ever really changing his ways. he burns someone alive and laughs about it, drags a detective to hell and doesn't give a shit about civilians. even when he is completely human his solution to assholes is to punch them in the face. he loves power and controling others and looking good while doing it. I know him beind "good" was a whole thing on the show but to me the most fun about him was that he continued being evil but was now using his powers to help the good guys. show me another character that got redeemed into the hero team without losing his evil edge. Cole was just so much fun to watch but unfortunately his character got totally buthcered by bad writing.

No pressure of doing this but tagging:

@catzy88, @uponxhorhaus, @accrov

#tag game #favourite characters #wow this got long #whoops #long post #about me #i guess

[arverst-aegnar]

I finished something (!!) based on an old Zutara week prompt, and i wanted to post it on AO3, but i had ... problems with that idea. Mainly because this is a sort-of prequel to a longer, much more complicated AU that i've written maybe 0.05% of, 90% of which is just unnecessary backstory and details about minor characters that will probably never even be mentioned. The other problem is, while this is definitely about Zuko and Katara, they don't know they're Zuko and Katara (said AU involves Dai Li brainwashing, of course), so it's effectively a story about two random people living in the Earth Kingdom.

In the end, i decided posting on Tumblr was the middle ground between my very sensible objections and my craving for displaying my creative works and (ideally) getting showered with praise for my writing prowess.

prompt: first kiss

Tiarniq is sixteen, and has never been kissed.

It’s fine. She knows she’s young, that she has plenty of time, that many women don’t get their first kiss until they’re older. And while she’s annoyed by the sly looks and smug comments she gets from the other girls, when they’re gossiping about boyfriends and dates and kisses that lead to things they giggle instead of talk about, it doesn’t really bother her that she doesn’t have any stories to share. She’s too young to get married, and she can’t imagine wanting to talk about a boyfriend like the other girls do, at least not in so much detail. 

But the thing is, there’s a boy. 

A tall, strong, determined boy who’s light on his feet and good with a sword, who knows both those things but never boasts about them, who never, ever gives up. 

An obnoxious, irritating, hot-tempered boy who won’t let her leave the estate on her own even though he knows she can take care of herself (but she doesn’t actually mind), who can’t tell a joke without ruining it (she laughs anyway half the time) or make tea without scalding it (he keeps trying), who gets mad at her sometimes when she’s just trying to help and she has no idea why (she keeps trying). 

A kind, honest, beautiful boy with golden eyes and gentle hands and a quiet way who helps without being asked and never pushes her to talk if she doesn’t want to and is probably the best friend she’s ever had.

Tiarniq isn’t sure when she first started wanting Ryuji to kiss her, but she does, and it’s becoming a problem. They’ll be gathering herbs for Yukiko and talking, and in the middle of a sentence she’ll forget what she’s saying because of the way he’s looking at her, his eyes suddenly looking like molten sunlight. Or he’ll be “escorting” her to a farm adjacent to the estate and give her a hand over a fallen tree or steady her on a narrow bridge and she has to find some reason to avoid looking at him until her face stops burning. 

When she almost spills a whole pot of tea because she made some silly joke about “can’t we all get oolong” and Ryuji laughed -- Ryuji never laughs, she’s never heard him chuckle, he hardly even smiles -- and the sound made her heart jump and her stomach flutter and her breath stop all at once, she finally admits to herself she should probably talk to Lady Baome.

*~*~*

The colonel and his wife are exceptionally unpretentious for Earth Kingdom nobility. Even Yukiko, the grumpy elderly apothecary that serves the region, agrees. Colonel Baome can regularly be seen working alongside the laborers on the estate, and Lady Baome invites every girl in the area, regardless of status, to tea at least once a month. Tiarniq, by virtue of living on the estate in an odd position between “ward” and “employee”, gets invited more frequently. 

They meet in Lady Baome’s favorite parlor, an airy green room with windows that look out on the gardens. She greets Tiarniq with a warm smile and a slight bow, only a little shallower than Tiarniq’s own. As always, she dismisses the servants as soon as they bring the tea trays in, invites Tiarniq to take her usual seat, and pours the tea for them both. 

“How have you been?” Lady Baome asks, offering her the honey.

Tiarniq smiles tightly as she takes it. “How do you get a boy to kiss you?”

Her face instantly heats up. She wishes an earthbender would walk by and bend her into the ground for all eternity.

Lady Baome is, if not the perfect Earth Kingdom lady, as close as Tiarniq thinks it’s possible to be: lovely, elegant, gracious, genteel, and poised in all situations. Tiarniq’s blurted question only makes her raise her eyebrows a fraction. “I assume you’re asking about a particular boy?”

Tiarniq’s face is still red. She shifts in her seat, as if her embarrassment is something she can escape if she just shifts over a few inches. “Just boys in general,” she says, not meeting Lady Baome’s eyes. “I know I’m only sixteen, and it’s not a big deal that I’ve never been kissed, and I’m okay with that. I don’t even really want to kiss him -- anyone, I mean! But what if I do, someday, but he never even looks like he wants to kiss me? What do I do?”

She forces herself to look up at Lady Baome, whose only response is a quiet hum. She looks thoughtful, and a little distant, like her thoughts have taken her far from the estate. “I’m afraid I don’t have much experience,” the lady admits, her smile a little sad, and Tiarniq is suddenly reminded Lady Baome is not even ten years older than her. “There’s only been one boy -- man -- I ever wanted to kiss, and the circumstances were never right.”

“Oh,” Tiarniq says softly. She knew the Colonel and Lady Baome married for more practical reasons than romance, though they seem to be good friends. 

“One thing I can recommend,” Lady Baome says after a moment, more present and assured. “The gardener tells me the fire lilies should be blooming in a few weeks. I’m sure the garden will be just as beautiful if you pick one for yourself.” She catches sight of Tiarniq’s expression, and smiles. “They’re a symbol of romantic love,” she explains. “Giving one as a gift is often an opening to a relationship, but if a girl has no one to give a flower to, she can wear it in her hair as a sign she’s looking for love.”

Tiarniq frowns. “Will that work? I’ve never heard of that tradition.”

“Oh, it’s very common in certain parts of the world,” Lady Baome assures her. Then, with a look in her eyes too knowing to be unintentional, she adds nonchalantly, “Like the Fire Nation.” 

Tiarniq’s face goes red again.

*~*~*

Though Ryuji continues to hold an alarmingly large place in her thoughts, Tiarniq nearly forgets the fire lilies for the next two weeks. A wave of marsh fever passes through the area, and over a dozen children come down with it. No one’s died of marsh fever in living memory, but nevertheless Yukiko keeps them busy making and distributing tonics for fever and salves for rashes. Ryuji accompanies her on every trip off the estate, but they walk too fast for easy conversation. Her evenings are spent gathering herbs with Yukiko, and every night she crawls into bed hours past midnight, too tired to think. 

When the fever finally passes and she remembers Lady Baome's advice, the gardener tells her the season for fire lilies is over. It doesn’t last long, especially in this region of the Earth Kingdom where the climate is just barely enough to grow them in the first place. The best ones were picked and sold, a few were taken to the estate to be pressed or used for decoration, and the rest have all died.

She tells herself she isn't disappointed, that she wouldn't have picked one anyway, that it’s a silly tradition that she didn’t need to follow anyway because she has more important things to think about than a boy. She repeats that to herself as she trudges back to the cabin she shares with the housekeeper, but it isn't any more convincing with repetition.

It takes Tiarniq longer than it should to notice someone sitting by the door to the cabin, staring down at something he's twisting between his hands. Fortunately, seeing who it is sufficiently distracts her from embarrassment at her own distraction.

“Ryuji?”

His head snaps up, and his golden eyes widen in surprise. He opens his mouth, then closes it without a sound. He stands, rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand. In his left, he holds a fire lily. “Hey.”

Don’t look at the flower, Tiarniq tells herself. Stop looking at the flower. She tries for casual. “What are you doing here?”

“Um … “ He looks down at the flower in his hand and seems to come to a decision. He straightens his shoulders, and meeting her gaze with a staggering openness, he holds the flower forward. “This is for you,” he says, his voice raspier than usual.

Tiarniq looks from the fire lily, to him, then back, then back again. “Me?” It comes out in a squeak, but she’s too relieved it came out at all to care.

He nods. “You --” He stops, looks away. “You never leave me alone. No matter how many times I get mad and stomp off or yell at you, you still try to get me to talk to you, or do stuff with you. I don’t know how I haven’t chased you off, but … I’ve realized I don’t want to.” He looks back at her, smiling crookedly in a way that sets off a flock of sparrowkeets in her stomach. “And I don’t know why you would choose me,” he says softly, “when you could have anyone else if you wanted, but--”

She accepts the flower and slides it into her hair, just above her right ear, and smiles shakily up at him. Ryuji smiles back at her, a small, unsure one at first that grows and grows to match her own. He cups her cheek in one hand, and, hesitantly, starts to move in closer, but she’s done waiting. She stands up on her toes to meet him.

Tiarniq is sixteen when she has the best first kiss of her life.

#and i hit 'post' by accident #welp here goes nothing #zutara #zuko x katara #zuko #katara #a:tla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #s: eight #fanfic #my writing #a rare original post #fun fact: the Baomes are based on Jane Austen characters #lmk if the English Regency tone to Lady Baome's dialogue is as Very Obvious as it is in my head

[stargazer-sims]

You know how you have an idea and your brain just gets stuck on it until you share it or otherwise do something about it? Or are you normal?

Yes, this is about my OCs. In fact, it's probably everything you (n)ever wanted to know about Nikolai Pavlenko.

It's gonna be long. Apologies.

Seriously, you get all the 🍪 and ⭐️ if you make it through this Chaotic Info Post™

Anyway, I was just thinking about how some of my best and/or favourite OCs were only meant to be secondary characters, but somehow became so interesting to me (either on their own or in relation to other characters) that I absolutely had to develop them. Nikolai was one of those, and now, so are his potential love interests, Ginger and Mishka.

I already had skeletal backstories for both Ginger and Mishka (Ginger's was a bit more in-depth, to be fair, but still...) Now, suddenly they're both telling me all kinds of things about themselves to the point where I can't even decide which one of them Nikolai is meant to be with. I mean, let's face it; he's definitely not meant to be with Anya again, and he's too loving and sweet to be alone.

Nikolai can credit all his former coaches and his figure skating friends, and his students to some degree, for shaping who he is as a person. He loves his parents and has a good relationship with them, but his father in particular is not the sort of person to show much emotion or demonstrate affection and his mother is a bold, no-nonsense woman who can come off as brusque and rude to people who don't know her. Nikolai is not like that. He's gentle and patient and he likes to show others how he feels and loves to give and receive affection. It was his coaches, Stanislav and Beth-Anne, who brought out the best in him, and in reality they often parented him just as much or more than his parents did. As an adult, and since becoming a coach himself, he's also learned a lot about how to have good relationships with people and also a lot about himself.

As a teenager, Nikolai's closest friends were all figure skaters, like him. He started skating at the age of five, when his family lived in another town. At his old skating club, he didn't manage to make a lot of friends and would have been desperately lonely if it weren't for his sister Natascha.

He was sixteen when his family moved, and he flourished at his new rink with his new coach, Stan, who taught him just as much about life and love and the challenges of growing up as he did about figure skating. It was there that he met the people who would become his core group of friends; Anya, Ginger, Hunter, Juliet and Christian.

Vivienne "Ginger" Holmes moved to town during the same summer Nikolai did, so they already had that in common when they met. She was only 14 and had come all the way to Canada from the UK specifically to train with Stan. She was living with a host family, but was essentially on her own, according to her. She and Nikolai bonded instantly, not just over being the new kids at school and the rink, but also over their shared love of dance, bike racing, comic books and spicy food. Ginger never acted stereotypically "girly" and Nikolai appreciated that. It was easy to think of her as a buddy and a confidante, without the complication of adolescent infatuation.

Anya, on the other hand, was a totally different story. She was also 14 when Nikolai met her. Like him, she was the child of an immigrant family, but unlike him, she was well-integrated, attractive and popular. Nikolai tried to avoid her at first, thinking that she was probably mean and shallow like most of the other pretty, popular girls he'd met at his old school. It was actually Anya who approached him. She was learning photography from her grandfather, and wanted to take pictures of Nikolai on the ice. He refused at first, but after Anya kept pestering him, he finally agreed one day. After practice that day, he agreed to go with Anya to get food, and they naturally started talking. Slowly but surely, they got to know each other, and he learned to trust her. As they both approached adulthood, he realized that somewhere along the way, he'd fallen in love with her.

Nikolai and Anya married when he was 25 and she was 23. They were both actively competing and were at the peak of their skating careers. The year they got married, Nikolai won his first World Championship gold medal, and Anya came away with bronze, her second World Championship medal in three years.

Unfortunately, their marriage was not meant to last. Neither of them were ready for the responsibility of a marriage. They were juggling their training and competition schedules, their finances, managing their shared home, and dealing with growing pressure from both their families to start a family of their own. Even though they didn't realize it at the time, neither of them had been ready for a marriage. They hadn't been mature or stable enough, and Anya in particular hadn't been ready to settle down.

The final blow to their marriage that they hadn't been able to overcome was the injury that abruptly ended Nikolai's competitive skating career. He was 27, and competing in the Four Continents Cup, when he injured his knee in a spectacularly bad fall. Even before the doctors and physical therapists assessed his injury, he somehow knew that his career was over, and that he'd never be in another competition.

The eventual prognosis was that he would recover enough to be able to walk and run normally, and even to be able to skate again one day if he did everything the medical professionals told him to. But, they said, he would never be able to compete again. His damaged knee would not tolerate the amount and intensity of training required for it.

Nikolai wasn't ready to accept that reality. He couldn't decide if he was more angry or sad about it, and he became increasingly depressed. Anya couldn't handle the burden of taking care of him while he recovered, with his irritability and mood swings and seemingly random bouts of crying or angry outbursts making things even worse. She decided to leave, and packed her things to go move in with her grandfather.

As if Nikolai wasn't already broken enough, Anya's departure absolutely shattered him. He felt like he was losing everything. He actually contemplated taking his own life, and he might very well have done if not for his coach at the time, Beth-Anne.

Beth-Anne received a phone call in the middle of the night, and on the other end of the line was Nikolai, sobbing inconsolably and telling her that he was scared. Beth-Anne didn't ask questions. She told him to go and unlock the door and not to do anything else, and that she'd be there in ten minutes. She threw on some clothes, grabbed her car keys and sped all the way there. When she got there, she found Nikolai sitting on the floor in the entryway, still crying and looking absolutely exhausted. He hadn't even made it back to the sofa or his bed or wherever he'd been when he phoned her. He literally had unlocked the front door and done nothing else until she arrived.

Beth-Anne gathered him up and took him to the ER. She knew he needed help, at least to settle him down. Anything else he needed after that, she could handle herself. She lost patience with the doctors who were going on about anti-depressants and therapy, once they'd heard the full story, and she vetoed the idea of them admitting him for a psychological evaluation. She verbally exploded on the doctor with, "He doesn't need his head examined and he doesn't need fucking drugs! He needs a sense of purpose and someone who actually gives a shit!" That got the tiniest smile out of Nikolai, and Beth-Anne was silently and secretly pleased.

In the end, she and Nikolai did acquiesce to a painkiller for his leg and some medication to help him sleep, and agreed that he should stay in the hospital overnight for observation. Beth-Anne bullied the doctor into letting her stay with Nikolai all night, and she didn't leave his side for more than a few minutes. In the morning, she called Nikolai's parents and informed them that he'd be staying with her for a while, and then with the consent of the doctor, she took a still-drowsy Nikolai home to her place and tucked him into bed in the guest room.

For the first couple of days, Beth-Anne cancelled all her students' practices and stayed home with Nikolai. She made him stay in bed or on the sofa, and practically waited on him. On the third day, however, she bundled him up and took him to the rink with her, telling him that he needed to watch her and observe her students, because she'd be asking him for commentary and critique later. That was his first glimpse into the skating world from the other side of the gate.

As the weeks progressed, Nikolai began to feel better. Every day, he went to the rink with Beth-Anne to be a second set of eyes for her, spotting different things each of the skaters did exceptionally well and things they still needed work on. At home, Beth-Anne helped him work on his physical therapy exercises, taught him how to cook, introduced him to yoga, and happily expounded upon the joys and pains of being a figure skating coach. She answered all his questions about coaching, and encouraged him to join her as an assistant when he was ready.

Eventually he did join her as a coaching assistant. After a few months, he was able to skate again for short periods of time, and then it wasn't long before he'd taken over one of Beth-Anne's beginner groups, teaching his five little skaters mostly on his own, with minimal guidance from Beth-Anne. He was happy to realize she'd been right. The thing he'd needed most was someone who cared about him and something to bring a sense of purpose to his life.

Meanwhile, Anya was deeply regretting her decision to leave Nikolai. She still loved him and wanted to come back, but he wasn't ready for that. He was still hurt, and he didn't think he could put himself through another ride on the emotional roller coaster that had been life with Anya. He filed for divorce, and she didn't contest it.

They were able to repair their friendship, but Nikolai wasn't interested in renewing their romantic relationship at that point. Eventually, he would be, but he needed time. He had to admit that he still loved Anya too, but he realized things would never be good between them until they both changed.

At some point, they settled into a "friends with benefits" arrangement, where they agreed that they weren't going to commit to each other and that they'd be free to see other people.

During that period of time, Nikolai went out with his good friend Ginger several times, but they never once slept together and never liked to say their outings were dates. Nikolai dated other people as well, but nothing ever developed with anyone.

It was on the night that he, Beth-Anne, Ginger, Juliet and Hunter were out at a club, celebrating his thirtieth birthday that he met the person whom he'd have his next serious relationship with, Mikhail Vasiliev (a.k.a. Mishka). Nikolai and Hunter were up at the bar, getting drinks for themselves and the ladies when they noticed a man around their age apparently struggling to explain something to one fo the bartenders. The man was enormous, with bulging muscles clearly visible through his snug-fitting shirt, and Nikolai guessed that if they were standing side-by-side, the top of his head would only come up to the man's shoulder. Despite that, however, the man had an oddly childlike quality about him. His sweet face was crumpled with frustration and he looked like he might cry at any moment if he couldn't make himself understood.

Nikolai's second observation was that he recognized the language the man was speaking in between snatches of halting, broken English.

"He's speaking Russian," Nikolai told Hunter. "I'm going to help him."

As it turned out, Mishka was lost and had come into the club for directions. After not having succeeded in getting help at a convenience store down the street, he'd wandered into the only other establishment that was open at that hour. He explained to Nikolai that he was a professional hockey player, and that he'd been part of a mid-season trade from his old team to the one in Brindleton Bay. He'd only arrived a few days ago, and was staying at a hotel until he found a suitable place to live. This particular evening, he'd had dinner by himself at a restaurant, and then on a whim, decided to take a late evening stroll around town. But then, he'd gotten confused and couldn't find his way back to the hotel.

Nikolai and Hunter invited him to come and join Nikolai's little birthday party, and then Nikolai would take him back to the hotel afterwards. Mishka agreed, mostly because he was a little desperate, but he would later say it was the best choice he'd made in a while.

Nikolai and Mishka spent a lot of time just getting to know each other after that, and soon realized this was not going to be just a friendship. Everyone agreed that Mishka was good for Nikolai, and his family and most of his friends liked him. As for Mishka, he was very happy to find himself surrounded by so many people who cared about him, and to be falling in love with somebody who treated him gently and took care of him the way Nikolai did.

For all his strong, tough appearance, Mishka is a meek and quiet person. The thing he appreciated most about Nikolai is that he recognized Mishka's vulnerability and never judged him for it. He was always there to support him and look after him. For Nikolai, Mishka inspired the same kind of nurturing and protectiveness as his young protégé Eden Seong and all his other students, and the relationship offered him that all-important sense of purpose.

His relationship with Mishka was quiet and steady, with none of the chaos and emotional turbulence that his relationship with Anya had. There were fewer risky adventures, far less wild sex, very little personal drama, and no all-out screaming arguments. They often disagreed, but they rarely fought, and they would always try to make up before going to sleep if they did fight.

To Nikolai, their love was all the sweeter, knowing that they were able to successfully navigate through the aftermath of an argument and still want to curl up together in bed when all was said and done. That always made him feel safe, when they felt satisfied enough with the outcome to finally let themselves go to bed, and he was wrapped in Mishka’s huge, gentle arms. Sometimes Mishka would sing to him; the most unexpectedly angelic voice coming from this massive man who looked like he’d be more at home yelling commands to workers at the dockyard than chanting in a choir.

(Mishka had been in an all-boys choir as a child and young teen)

Mishka is cuddly and affectionate, just like Nikolai, and they both fulfilled each other’s need for physical touch. They also had no qualms about being affectionate in public, and it wasn’t at all a rare sight to see them holding hands while out for a walk or to catch Mishka hugging Nikolai from behind and shyly kissing his cheek while they waited in line for coffee.

Mishka shared Nikolai’s love of cycling, and the two of them liked to go on bike rides together. Their favourite thing to do together was to bike somewhere and go exploring. In the summertime, they’d take several small trips where they’d bike for a while, then hike into to the woods and find a nice spot to put up their tent, and camp in the forest for a night or two. Sometimes they’d find a place to fish, sometimes they’d sit in the sun and read, and sometimes they’d wander around and look at the flowers, mushrooms and trees and simply enjoy the quiet. Mishka often got stressed about getting lost, but Nikolai is good with a compass and so they never did.

Other things they enjoyed together were swimming, dancing, playing video games and of course skating. Sometimes the skating was more about Nikolai showing off while Mishka admired him, but mostly they’d skate laps together until Nikolai’s knee dictated a halt. Then, they’d go home, and Mishka would ice and massage his leg until he felt better.

One of the big challenges in their relationship was Mishka’s travelling. The team was constantly on the go throughout the regular season, and even longer if they made the playoffs. Nikolai didn’t like how often Mishka was away from him, and even though there was a set schedule for the team’s away games and home games, the whole thing still felt unstable and uncertain to him. Psychologically, it was difficult for him, and although he tried not to show how upset and stressed he was every time Mishka had to leave, Mishka always knew. He hated that Nikolai was upset, but there wasn’t much he could do in that situation, which naturally upset him too.

Perhaps the biggest hurdle for them was Anya. Nikolai and Anya’s on-again, off-again friends with benefits situation was in a definite “off again” phase when Nikolai and Mishka decided they were in an official relationship, but that didn’t stop Anya from coming around and trying to make herself at home. She’d show up ostensibly to cook for them, help them with their laundry or bring them something she’d knitted. The whole thing made Mishka feel extremely uncomfortable, and he said so on multiple occasions.

Regardless of the fact that Nikolai told Anya several times he wasn’t interested at all, Anya still tried to flirt with him (and with Mishka, much to Mishka’s distress). Mishka was never worried about Nikolai being unfaithful, but he neither liked nor trusted Anya.

One of the worst things for Nikolai during all this was that he didn’t even have his buddy Ginger around to talk to about it. Not long after Nikolai and Mishka had gotten together, Ginger had returned to the UK to begin her own journey as a figure skating coach and, as it happened, a wife. She and Nikolai did their best to keep in touch, but with their schedules, time zones, and Ginger’s new husband Liam not liking her to talk to other men, it was a challenge.

Inevitably, Nikolai and Mishka reached the conclusion that as much as they loved and cared for each other, this was not the right time or the right circumstances for them to stay together. They mutually decided to part ways and remain friends, and they promised that if their situations ever changed, they'd look each other up and hopefully try again. They did their best to keep in touch after that, but just like his contact with Ginger, Nikolai's contact with Mishka was semi-regular at best and sporadic at worst. He never forgot what they'd promised each other, though, and neither did Mishka.

Fast-forward a few years, and Nikolai receives a message from Ginger, telling him that she and Liam are divorcing, and she's moving to Japan to continue to train her star student, Sebastian Fujikawa, a Japanese citizen who'd previously been training in the UK while he attended school there. The teenager was ready to go home to Japan, though, and he'd practically begged Ginger to come with him. She told Nikolai she was ready for a change, and that she'd gladly agreed.

Meanwhile, Nikolai was busy with Eden, his own young champion in the making, as well as his other students. Eden and Sebastian were the same age, Nikolai discovered, and soon they'd be competing in the senior division, where they — and their coaches — would undoubtedly meet at international competitions. It was easier for Nikolai and Ginger to keep in touch, now that she didn’t have Liam breathing down her neck, and their contact became less sporadic. Nikolai always looked forward to the chances when they'd encounter each other in person at a competition or training camp. Seeing Ginger again always made him happy.

Fast-forward another handful of years, and Nikolai finds himself in the unlikely scenario of being begged to come to Japan by his own student. Eden had decided to follow his brother Charlie to Japan, where Charlie was going to pursue his career as a professional aesthetitian, hoping to become the proverbial beautician of the stars in the J-pop music industry.

Initially, Eden asked Nikolai to come with him, and Nikolai said no. For one thing, he was terrified to uproot himself from his family, students and familiar surroundings. He was never good with instability, and he didn't think he could cope with that drastic a change in his life. His other reason was that he thought Eden might need to assert his own independence a bit. He didn't want Eden to leave, but knew that it'd be wrong to hold him back.

Eden found a new coach to train with, but the whole thing went terribly wrong after only a few months. Coincidentally, he was skating out of the same rink in a small town in Japan where Ginger was coaching her student, Sebastian. Nikolai heard more of the story from Ginger than he did from Eden at first, as Eden didn't want to upset him with all the horrible details, nor did he want Nikolai to think he was trying to guilt him into coming to Japan.

Finally, Eden did confess the whole truth, and Nikolai was heartbroken to realize that he'd made a huge mistake in not going to Japan with Eden in the first place. He'd all but made up his mind to go, and it really took very little extra persuasion on the part of Ginger and Charlie to fully convince him.

He was overjoyed to be reunited with Eden. Three months had felt like forever to him. He's struggling to adapt to life in Japan, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't scared, but having Eden, Charlie and Ginger close by helps him. Anya, a professional sports and entertainment photographer, has been there to visit him, while she was travelling in Asia for work. As much as he wants to deny it, he was glad to see her too and try as he might, he can't deny that he's looking forward to her coming back again.

But, other than training with Eden again, the real highlight has been his reunion with Ginger. It's brought him much more joy than he'd expected, and he's really not certain how to explain his feelings about it. He and Ginger spend as much time together as they can, and it didn't take much for them to slip back into their old friendship. They still don't want to say they're dating, and neither one of them really sees their relationship as a romance, but they're nevertheless very happy together. Nikolai can honestly say he loves Ginger, and he sees nothing wrong with that.

It's all good until he receives a long email from Mishka. Now 35 years old, Mishka has decided that too many injuries and stamina that's fading with age have finally made him uncompetitive as a pro hockey player, and it's time to retire. Nikolai could read the excitement in Mishka's written message, and he easily could picture Mishka's sweet face glowing with a smile at the sentence, "I never forgot you. I'm coming to Japan to find you, my love."

Nikolai is excited too, until he thinks about Ginger. And Anya.

He's still figuring out his feelings for Ginger, who is already right there in town, and Anya will be back soon on another business trip. How's he supposed to handle Mishka too, in the midst of that?

He has a problem, and not the sort of problem most people have. Some people have trouble finding one love interest. Nikolai's problem is that he may have far too many...

#sapphire notes #story stuff #nikolai pavlenko #yes this is seriously way too long #you get all the cookies and gold stars if you made it through this #seriously

[hael987]

I’m so very tired of people saying nonsense about KinnPorsche the series and trying to bring it down.

I cannot stress enough how much the show means to me. Firstly because I’m enjoying it but more importantly because of what it’s showing, what it’s bringing into the world.

As Mile and Apo have continually been saying the series is showing love is love, we’re no different than the cishets. It’s telling queer people that they’re deserving of such detailed stories too. We also deserve stories that delve deeper than the superficial.

Let us have our complex characters. The morally grey or even morally black. The unclear, contrasting motives. Let us see healthy and unhealthy relationships. Fluff and action and torture. Let us have it all for once.

When we’re finally getting the variety we deserve, stop trying to restrict us back into boxes. It’s light, but it’s not superficial. It’s dark but it’s not gritty, there’s always some beauty to be found whether it be in the storyline itself or the shots.

Fair enough if it’s not to your personal taste/you personally don’t like it but to say such media shouldn’t be out there is wrong.

We get a story full of various kinds of love. Discovery and growth that’s flawed and rocky, an uneven and complicated path. A show that finally explores multitudes. A show through which I can finally feel connections to my own queer experiences but it’s subtle enough it’s not overwhelming and the story is varied enough with action, mafia plots and fluff that it’s enjoyable for the wider audience too.

We’re given NC scenes that feel beautiful, emotional, real and not fetishised. The joy and elation we get to see from them existing together. We’re given NC scenes that are dubious and darker. It doesn’t focus on just one aspect, we get it all. Layered and detailed for once.

They struggle to be together but it’s not because they’re queer, it’s because their lives are complicated and messy. It’s the casual normalising of it, shifting the focus to the people rather than focusing it on the sexuality.

Their words of support interspersed throughout the entire show. Telling us we’re supposed to be here. We’re seen. The effort Mile underwent to get this story out there, the improvements all the actors and BOC made to make the story better, less homophobic. How they changed part of Porsche’s storyline from internalised homophobia and that consequential struggle into something far more beautiful and relevant: an exploration of his quintessential self and his roles in life, his journey of self worth and happiness. How valid that makes one feel to watch such a series.

Chay setting out on his youthful love. Porsche only having his first dating experience in his adulthood. Tankhun feeling unsafe when he leaves his sphere, his use of fashion as a shield. Kinn’s struggle of duty vs heart. Pete and Vegas beginning to remove their masks. These stories, it’s all reminiscent of the very real queer experience. The differing journeys. The sex scenes, the fluff, the darker side. These multitudes symbolise the variety and varying paths of what the queer experience can entail.

The nod, the acknowledgement that there are so many differing queer experiences and stories to be told without reducing the focus to be solely on the sexuality. That queer people are people — as flawed, as varied, as complex as everyone else. Queer people don’t just have to exist one way or fit your ideals. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to see, it’s the reality of existence.

Every single one of these points is why the show is important, necessary even.

I’m not claiming it’s the first show to do so, but I would say it’s the first show to express it so fully — it’s in every single inch of it. Stop trying to bring it down.

If you don’t like it that’s fine, it’s not for you. It’s for me. It’s for me and everyone like me that finally feels represented and loved and shown that we’re allowed to be complex. That we exist on equal ground and deserve to have equally complex media. That like our queer selves, the queer media we have shouldn’t be restricted to certain boxes.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche thoughts #kp discourse #I’m sure people have said it better before but #I’ve seen some real nonsense today and can’t stand it

[allyriadayne]

what do you think about daemon secretly wanting viserys like matt said? don't get me wrong i was under the impression that the only reason why daemon didn't marry viserys was because viserys wasn't a girl. daemon made it clear he wanted to be his brother's heir and his brother's hand. imo he was hurt when he said i am your heir and that he would have protected him from otto. i just thought if only viserys was a girl. really.

we know vizzy sees rhaenyra as extension of aemma and aegon, helaena, aemond and daeron as extension of alicent and he projects his feelings towards aemma and alicent onto his children. with daemon imo it's the same with the way he sees rhaenyra. yes, daemon wanted power, but what he wanted the most was to be close to his brother. i guess it happens when family is inbred. alysanne and old king were siblings, alyssa and baelon too, if vizzy was a girl daemon would have married her.

what do you think of vizzy x daemon?

saying daemon wants rhaenyra because he wants viserys is a bit reductive imo. to me daemon is a deeply dependent character due to how tightly he's woven in the incest family, he gets everything from them, his identity, role, gender, everything and it's no wonder that he's learned that everything he could want comes from the targs. it's not that viserys could be a girl, viserys always has to be the patriarch, the Man, for the themes of the story to work (he is the one fucking everyone up by his choices), it's that daemon's role in the family is to be the visenya, viserys' opposite, and it's said right off the bat in the first episode: he's visenya, protector, sister, scorned wife. viserys doesn't let him be anything else than this narrow categories. when daemon is permanently expelled from viserys' esteem (right around ep 4 when daemon touches another one of viserys' toys) it's when he truly learns he could get what he wants from rhaenyra without getting kicked when he asks. circling back to the beginning, while i do think at the beginning that daemon likes and loves rhaenyra because she's viserys' daughter and that it might have played a role in daemon seeking her out, i don't think it's that prevalent after eps 4-5 when she shows she's her own person with her own desires. these are explicitly two people getting under the shadow of viserys and meeting him on their own terms in ep 8.

daemon wants to be close to viserys, yeah. that's the whole point of his character and why they fight at the end of ep 1. i honestly don't think he's that keen on absolute power tbh, not the way other characters are like otto, because he gets agency and control from his violence (direct rather than subtle of soft power), but if having powerful offices like master of law or hand of the king is what gets him near his brother's love then he's absolutely taking them (and fucking it up probably). it's very telling he had his uncle aemon and baelon, his father, as role models for the perfect brotherhood, that viserys is NOT following the protocol, which is fair he gets mad at. it's not that they are inbred at all, or at least not completely, bc even in marriages when the spouses are not related like viserys and alicent, the children like aegon and aemond still have a degree of unhealthy closeness. it's institutional rather than individual.

in any case, while i think the relationship between viserys and daemon is interesting, i'm not too keen on it. i always like to try to see daemon as an individual rather than as part of a relationship bec that's what it usually happens, as i said, i find it reductive in most cases when people talk about their dynamic. like, yeah, if daemon were a girl she would've absolutely married the shit out of viserys but that's not everything there is to their relationship. it's not only daemon who harbors those feelings but viserys too who doesn't like to share his toys and often thinks of the people around him as being there for his amusement. it's a complicated relationship.

#ask #Anonymous #daemon targaryen #viserys i targaryen #i actually think viserys sees rhaenyra and daemon as extensions of /him/ rather than aemma. rhaenyra looks like her mother but she is #viserys' daughter first. just like daemon is viserys' brother not rhaenyra's uncle and lover. he's more upset abt his playthings unionizing #than anything. he's not the center of their universe anymore #and sorry to the other children but i don't think viserys thinks about them at all. he's too sick anyway

[thievescanted]

cal-as-companion..... part the second

Story Specific

MY DOG ALMOST DELETED THIS........ anyway

How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor?

"I don't trust them, but I trust that their interests are aligned with ours - only for the moment. And I'm trusting you to know when to cut and run - although we can't really run from them, can we...? Bit unsettling. But as long as they can work to our benefit, let's let them. Even if I really, really don't like it."

How do they advise the player character on Raphael?

"Oh, I don't trust that one any farther than I can throw him. Trust me, I know the type, and getting into bed with his like never ends well. ... Let's see where he's going with this, though."

How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character?

THATS HER BEST FRIEND! i think when theyre both companions they feel theyre like, rivals for tavs protection at the start lmao but if one of them is in charge then that kind of neutralizes that. she would definitely come clean about her situation from the start because she knows he also has a Situation - she offers to keep his vampirism secret in exchange for his secrecy about her death (she doesnt really like people knowing, partially because she feels her employer makes her a liability, and partly because she hates the thought of anyone pitying her)

she also would let him drink her blood, mostly because she's curious about whether her blood would even be consumable (it is, it's quite normal actally, which is more confusing to her really) but also because like. to her it would feel kind of fucked up for her not to help him if shes perfectly capable of helping

i misunderstood this question im realizing now. im not deleting all that though. if he tries to bite her she will be surprised to see him, and push him off pretty harshly; however she'll tell him "you could have just asked, and i would have," and she will let him drink from her

How do they react to the Player Character letting Abdirak whip them?

before: Definitely not going to help with our particular situation, but I suppose it can't hurt. Or - actually, it literally can. Still, I say give it a try! during: (after the first hit) Shit, I wasn't looking. Can you do it again? after: Well. I think you have to get married now.

How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power?

she's fine with the player doing it! she figures any way they can make themself stronger is a better chance that they all stay alive. HOWEVER she would not want to do it herself - "I barely feel like I'm my own with this thing in my head. I'm certainly not going to feed the damn thing."

Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently?

cal approves of helping the tieflings, and disapproves immensely of helping the cult. it won't cause her to leave, but it will set her approval almost as low as it can get without her leaving. if you side with the cult/the goblins she'll say that she trusts that you have your reasons, but she doesn't really want to know them

What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party?

at the tiefling party: cal will confide that she stole a decent amount of whiskey from the goblin camp and invite you to have some with her. she thanks you for doing all you did to help the tieflings - she hadn't let herself believe she was someone who could do this kind of good. then she'll immediately start gossiping about rolan. she will invite a ftav/durge/origin character to join her for the night if they like (she will then skirt around defining your relationship for. a While. its a bit of an isabela situation) (this would be the players first time seeing her wound (you can see it later in-game if shes not romanced but since shes taking her shirt off to sleep with the character, Well). she feels Complicated about that). if not romanced at the party cal will hook up with shadowheart or lae'zel

at the goblin party: the player can find her pulling grass out of the ground by her tent and piling it up on a blanket. she'll say, "Do you mind? I'm kind of in the middle of something." she will make it very clear to you that to her you are a "convenient and capable meat-shield" and suggest that you keep it to just business. you can ask to join her for the night and she will say: "What, really? You don't want to look a little farther afield? Can't imagine you'd want to fuck someone who hates you. Unless - what, are you into that kind of thing?"

>On second thought, never mind. Cal: Grand. There's my evening free. Off you go, then, I've very important business to conduct here. > And if I am? Cal: Well, I suppose I can't say I haven't wondered. Let's get that out of our systems, then.

pursuing that will close off her romance entirely though lol.

Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with?

if lae'zel: Soo... you and Lae'zel seem quite friendly tonight. Friendly as I've ever seen her, anyway. Just, uh, don't get too bruised up - busy day ahead of us tomorrow and all. if gale: So is Gale going to show you some magic tricks? Going to learn some useful applications of ray of frost? Are you two going to fuck, is what I'm asking. In case that wasn't clear. if shadowheart: You and Shadowheart seemed pretty cozy together just now. Leave some room for Shar, will you? I'm afraid her lady may smite you both. if astarion: Didn't think that one had the capacity to be interested in anyone that wasn't him - wonders never cease, eh? I'd make sure he's had something to eat before you get up to anything, though. Manslaughter does dampen the mood of a party. if wyll: Saw you talking to Wyll earlier. You left him looking rather more cheerful than he's been all night - good on you. I don't suppose you could lure him a little closer to the party? We're short a dance partner. (cares about him, is annoyed about it) if karlach: Karlach seems positively taken with you, you know. It really is a shame you can't really get to know each other. Still, you two have fun... talking all night, or whatever it is you can do. Sounds terribly romantic. Eugh.

Do they have unique dialogue if the Player Character lets them die when they steal the Blood of Lathander?

Cal: Hey, so, uh. Not to put too fine a point on it or anything, but remember when I told you about how I died? And how that was kind of a traumatizing thing for me? And then you killed me? No no, it's fine, I'm not mad. (note: shes mad but holding it together) I'm just disappointed. Next time - and I know there will be some kind of next time - maybe just... warn me? A little heads up?

How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar?

Cal: So... does it taste bad... or good...? I'm getting some mixed messages.

What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown?

Cal: I want you to know I've always hated you. And if he tries to do any close-up magic near me I'm killing him.

Is it possible for your Tav to be kidnapped and replaced by Orin? How is Orin's deception revealed? How do they react to the PC rescuing them in the Temple of Bhaal?

YEAH she can be. ive been toying with the idea that cal had been killed by bhaalists, so i think orin would like the idea of having her back

the pc will wake to find cal watching them. when they wake, cal will tell them that she's been thinking about what gortash said, about orin having infiltrated the camp. that she thinks she knows a way to prove that you're both yourselves - she'll show you a couple knives and suggest that making a shapechanger bleed might reveal its true form ("I'm only talking a gentle stabbing, nothing too bloody.") if you refuse she'll reveal herself as orin; if you go along with it she will in fact stab you pretty hard. orin will tell you that "Callie-girl is safe with me" and propose her whole deal to you, whereupon she'll add that "She's marked for us, so it might be difficult to let her go."

when you free cal, she tries to put on her usual unbothered facade but she will be pretty clearly shaken

Cal: Gods, it's you. It-it is you... right? Fuck. No, I'm alright, I just have about fifty more mental images about how I might die, courtesy of Orin. Let's get out of here? Please?

How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn?

if astarion is ascended: Shit. He really did it. And we... let him. Helped him, even... I guess the choice is made and there's nothing for it. Still, I just hope he's still... you know, him. if astarion remains a spawn: I wasn't sure he would be able to turn down all that power. The guarantee that you'll be truly safe, that you won't have to die again... It's a lot to walk away from. ... Not that I've thought about it extensively or anything. Anyway I'm proud of him really, but don't tell him so.

How does Tav react to the PC becoming a mind flayer? Can they offer to become one themselves? Does their reaction change if they’re romanced?

cal will nottt take the astral tadpole ("I just don't think I have a face for tentacles") but she won't object to a PC that chooses to take it for themself. if romanced, she'll confess that she's a little uneasy about the prospect of you changing, but that she knows you'll stay you, and she trusts you

How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them?

Cal: Well that's, uh... Shit, you're telling the truth, aren't you? I mean, you did always kind of strike me as worryingly good at killing, so I guess that makes a weird sort of sense. Wait, you haven't thought about killing me, have you? (if playing a female character): I mean, it'd be fine if you have. Wouldn't hold it against you, like.

How do they react to the Dark Urge killing Alfira?

well she does not like it i can tell you that much! she will disapprove when you say you don't remember, but she'll take your word for it and compared to like, wyll or karlach shes less horrified Cal: Let's just... save the murderous intent for people we don't like, yeah?

If romanced, how do they react to the Dark Urge trying to kill them in Act 2?

well unfortunately. due to how she is as a person. i think she would be a little into it initially. when she wakes to durge holding a knife to her throat, her first instinct is to sit up and kiss them, at which point they can tell her shes in danger.

Cal: Shit, sorry. It's the, uh. Adrenaline. Wait, danger? Were you actually going to kill me?

she will tie durge and sit with them through the night, responding fondly to their threats ("Aww, promise?") and encouraging durge to come back to her ("I know you're in there, and I know you're more than this. When you fight your way back to the surface, I'll be here. That's love - you showed me that.")

#bg3moretti