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descent-of-a-queen · 2 years

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[The Reverse Harem AU - The Family Headcanons]

In this convoluted Yansim Au, simply dubbed "The Reverse Harem AU" for simplicity's sake. This post is really just context for the story as a whole. All the changes I've implemented to fit a more reverse harem esque story without ultimately removing imo the interesting element that is Ayano's sickness.

AU Context:

An Aishi has a devote heart, and to stay alive, an Aishi must have a reason to make sense of her life. And that reason is to find their soul mate and become the very best romantic partner; to protect, to serve, to fight, and to love. That is how they stay sane and strive to live a perfect and normal life.

Ryoba dies after giving birth to Ayano.

Since Ayano was not taught she needed a reason to live, she merely drifted around and went along with the motions.

Till an amalgamation of moments between her and her pitiable father made Ayano inadvertently choose him as her reason to live.

Her reason being to make him proud and happy. To live as a normal girl and the perfect daughter.

Ayano being taught nothing about her condition relies on her paranoid father. And finds her reason being to fully devote herself to making her father proud and happy seeing that he was the only one to "love" her despite the underlying fear beneath his eyes.

Father Headcanons:

Name has been changed to Mamoru Tenshi. (Because I ain't about to change the name I've had for him for years just bc "canon" said so.)

A man born and raised with music, his chosen instrument being the violin. Additionally, he is capable of handle different instruments and has a lovely singing voice to boot.

His grandmother a geisha, his mother an opera singer, and his sister a rising idol. He; a renowned young violinist. So the Tenshi name was quite notorious in the entertainment industry for two reasons. For their rising stardom and their quiet, disappointing exit out.

Mamoru was the club leader of the music club, which tackles different genres and eras of the music industry.

Was quite popular and had multiple music schools vouching for his attention due to his known streak of winning in competitions.

Even had legitimate formal performance.

Had absolutely no interest in romance and wanted to focus on his future career.

Ironically enough, it is due to his family jesting that romance and marriage kills bloosoming careers. Ie. His mother exited her career to marry his father but in the end father left them, this has happened to almost every Tenshi.

Was inevitablely kidnapped by Ryoba one day and it all went down hill from there.

One day, he slowly started going quiet, losing his lustre and abandoning request performances before ultimately retiring from his position as club leader. Basically stopped talking to anyone.

Ryoba broke his violin in a fit of jealousy.

He married Ryoba soon after she graduated while he works at Saikou Corp.

The marriage didn’t last long since Ryoba died due to childbirth.

Has a hard time looking at Ayano's face for she looks like Ryoba.

Worries about Ayano's well being, if she'll end up like her mother as well as her bad work ethic.

Developed bad habits, smoking ruined his singing voice and drinks constantly at night. He cries himself to sleep.

Mother Headcanon:

The Aishi Family is well known for their charm and endless connections.

A traditional family, the head of the family, the eldest aishi, is often seen wearing a formal kimono or yukata at all times.

The Head of the Family, Grandmother Aishi is often seen with her attendant who is often mistaken for her husband. She laughs before telling them that her husband has been bedridden for years tho very well alive.

The flower that symbolizes their family is the Spider Lily. It isn't well know among other but they keep them as accessories.

Every single Aishi that has been born was a female with the same facial features that make them look eerily identical.

Every child has this eerie look that lacks that whimsy a typical child has, while the adults have this smile that rarely leaves their face.

As stated before the children are told the family secret in detail, they train them to become the perfect wife and partner befitting of their partner.

They were taught in varying areas of expertise from daily tasks like cooking and cleaning to fighting style and strategy and encouraged to make connections to easily find their love.

Ryoba Aishi was born as any other Aishi.

She portrayed herself as a happy go lucky girl with a kind and silly heart.

Ryoba was often found with the student council. Being close friends with the president.

However spent time with almost all students who would and wouldn't have her.

Her trial was completely orchestrated by her alone without much help of her family or those affiliated with her.

She lived the Aishi life until she met her untimely death.

The family often compares Ayano to her mother, despite her trying to distance herself from their image for her father.

#yandere simulator #yandere sim #yansim #yandere simulator au #the reverse harem au #male rivals #ayano aishi #ryoba aishi #jokichi yudasei

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theladysherlock · 1 year

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I know you have certified amazing music taste & I would love to hear your music recs! :D I’ve been having a hard time finding new stuff recently.

Of course!!! I'll try to do a spread across the board of stuff I've been listening to that's not necessarily super well-known

Sub-Radio: you may know them from their Stacy's Dad cover, among other things, but their original stuff is really good! For you specifically, I recommend Instincts, which is about being pissed at straight people in a gay bar. But I also really love Better Than That and Wait A Minute

Camp Cope: A queer female indie punk group from Australia! They have a great range between loud & angry and soft & melodic. For loud and angry, I recommend The Opener or Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams, and for soft & melodic I recommend Caroline or One Wink At A Time. (Honorable Mention goes to Face Of God, which is just so... sad)

Haunted Like Human: They have a very similar sound to early The Crane Wives, especially with their album Tall Tales & Fables. Ghost Towns & Georgia are soooo melancholy, Stay is also pretty, and Run Devil Run has a vigilante vibe that I love

San Fermin: The two vocalists on this are either a really pretty soprano or a really deep baritone, which is great. But most importantly, every song has a sick-ass bari sax line, and not always in a jazz way. The Woods uses it in a deeply unsettling way (which is appropriate because it's an unsettling song). My other two favorites by them are Cairo and Jackrabbit.

Sarah and the Safe Word: so this group has either screamo music or like steampunk-ish, brassy burlesque style music, and I'm not a fan of the screamo stuff but that's a personal choice. Also the main singer is trans! I personally love The Last Great Sweetheart Of The Grand Electric Rodeo, which I'm pretty sure is about a vampire brothel owner, and The Louisiana Shuffle (RIP), which is about rejecting who you were and loving who you are

Noah Kahan: This is a more popular artist than some of the others, but his most recent album Stick Season is about the isolation and nostalgia that can come from growing up in a small town. My favorites off the album are Orange Juice, Stick Season, New Perspective, and Homesick

This is a broad overview, so if you have more genres I can get more specific!

#anything for you Joey!!!!!

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randomvarious · 9 months

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Today's compilation:

The Wild Bunch 1995 Reggae / Roots Reggae / Rocksteady / Dub

First off, let me just say that I am in total awe of this crop of reggae instrumentals from the 60s and 70s here. So much music since has come with so much more fuss and technological advancements, and yet an unscalable pile of the stuff that came out after this doesn't seem to come close to how good a bunch of these simple tunes still are. In a broad sense, all these songs' formulas are pretty simple, but they really still just manage to click so damn well 😌.

From this comp's liner notes:

During the past eight years, Trojan have pioneered the 'Revival' Reggae scene. Our re-issue programme has preserved some of the best vocals ever recorded in Jamaica, but with the emphasis being placed on some of the island's many talented singers in recent years, the musicians have tended to be ignored. This current release reverses that trend by turning the spotlight onto the 'players of instruments', and in so doing we pay tribute to Kingston's legendary session men.

Now, because nearly all of these are straight-up instrumentals, they all pretty much operate in the same way, and each of them seem to have one thing in common that ends up either making or breaking the tune: the lead instrument. Because reggae riddims are inherently repetitive and steady, if left alone, they will naturally get stale. So, it takes a good melody of some kind to be laid atop that riddim in order to lend the song some much needed variety. And in a whole lot of these 27 tunes, that ends up coming to remarkable fruition.

It's hard to even really know where to begin with this album since there's so much goodness to be found within it, but the thick, whistle-ringing improvisational organ of Lloyd Charmer's "Ling Tong Ting" is an absolutely terrific place to start. Then the JJ All Stars get topsy-turvy with the audio channels on "Memphis Underground," by sending the melodic leads exclusively and *very prominently* through the left, and 90% of the riddim through the right; Herman Marquis' "Tom's Version," whose intro I'm pretty sure I've heard sampled in at least one hip hop tune before (Wu-Tang, maybe? It's honestly driving me crazy that I can't put my finger on it), then follows by doing a wonderful job of harmonizing its organ and trumpet, yielding this fully warm and satisfying haze; the legendary Augustus Pablo, who singlehandedly managed to transform the melodica from a mere plaything for children into an instrument with serious gravitas, shows why on a rootsy piece of dub called "Great Pablo;" and then towards the end, we get a bit of a surprise with a piece of gospel-reggae that's actually not an instrumental: the Harry J All Stars "Holy Moses," which is aided by a small set of female singers whose deployment of soul harmonies reminds of the backup singing that can be found on a bunch of Bob Marley hits.

But the closing title tune by the Music Doctors may be both the most remarkable and most fun track of them all, for the simple fact that it uniquely trades its leads between—not things like guitars, horns, and organs—but just bass and drums. And the bassist just seems to carefreely play this laid-back and very recognizable piece of melody from The Jackson 5's "I Want You Back;" it's so good!

So, a phenomenal collection of rare Jamaican reggae instrumental classics here, from the genre's premier label itself, Trojan. Yesterday, I posted about an excellent metal cassette from 1985 that's also called The Wild Bunch, and given how good that that album was, I really didn't think that this one could outdo it, but it very much did!

Highlights:

Selwyn Baptiste - "Mo' Bay" Boris Gardiner - "Memories of Love" The Dynamites - "Phantom" Sound Dimension - "Soul Food" Lloyd Charmers - "Ling Tong Ting" The Aggrovators - "The Sniper" JJ All Stars - "Memphis Underground" Lynn Taitt & The Jets - "Love Me Forever" Herman Marquis - "Tom's Version" The Tennors - "Copy Me Donkey" Winston Wright - "Heads or Tails" Augustus Pablo - "Great Pablo" Harry J All Stars - "Holy Moses" Music Doctors - "Wild Bunch"

#reggae #roots reggae #rocksteady #dub #dub music #music #60s #60s music #70's #70's music

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alarrytale · 4 months

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I guess I’m selfishly excited to see what Louis will do next and maybe lean more into the indie/pop punk type of genre. FITF is a gradual shift to test the waters a bit and maybe even prepare his existing fanbase for more to come. I don’t think he’ll completely cut out songs that border pop though because I believe he said once that his favorite is Saturdays. Even how he performs that one, you can tell he loves it. I also agree fully with you that he and/or his team dropped the ball with WAOYF. That one is clearly a hit. I’m looking forward to also seeing how these festivals expose his music more. It’s a good alternative to the radio, since he’s struggled to have his music played. I think since people’s musical tastes shift all the time, him trying something new is not a bad thing. I’ve always been more of an indie/punk fan though so I’m a bit biased. With music being such a personal experience it’s hard to say what will or won’t do well these days. Sometimes artists just have to take a leap to see what happens. I didn’t connect with Harry’s last album for example but I did with his 1st 2, so I think my musical taste just shifted. I’ve sort of noticed both pop and indie have their own struggles. For pop you have the revolving door aspect. One day you could be on the top of the world as an artist and the next you could crash because the next new shiny act comes along or an artist can be so overexposed that the public literally gets sick of them. With the indie genre, breaking into that music is tough (especially as an ex-boybander) but once you’ve gone over that hurdle it can be longer lasting. I think Louis including smaller indie singers/bands as openers and in his own festival is a way to help him a bit with that. Just a little added note, I loved how Louis thanked the people watching his concerts thru livestreams. It was nice to be acknowledged that way since I haven’t been able to go to a concert this year.

Also, what happened with TZP? I was offline a bit so I must’ve missed some of the drama.

Hi, anon!

I'm excited for LT3 too, the problem is i don't trust him. I don't trust him to know which songs to make a single, which songs to include on the album and which direction to take his album in. He's dropped the ball too many times. I think i'm of the same opinion as you, that FITF was a stepping stone album from one genre (pop) to another genre (indie/punk rock). That's why i'm expecting LT3 to be even more indie/punk rock than FITF. As i've said plenty of times by know, i think that's a mistake business and career wise (even though that's the direction the label (and maybe himself) want to take to seperate him from competition).

I'm excited for new music, but not if that means less streams and album sales, the tour not selling, and catering his promo and changing his image to appeal to potential fans he'll never be able to convince. I already see the way this is all heading with the anarchy tattoo. He's a multimillionaire white man in his 30's, who's never been political in his life. It's so cringe and if he leans into that image even more he's going to be a laughing stock to the people he wants to make his fans.

For FITF he did "boyband promo" geared towards early 20's females (signings, pop up store, merch, puzzles and fan video for a single). That's not promo that will work on his new target audience. So what's he going to do for promo?

I haven't kept up with the TZP drama that much, i only registred that he liked a "neutral" post about the conflict, attended a show or something with his husband by a zioni*t and is friends with zioni*ts. He's shown himself to be both uneducated on the subject and to not know the consequences of his actions affects his own fandom (no one is taking this well). Not knowing your own fandom is a cardinal sin (and every celebrity should know that). So people are upset and calling him out (he's in China (that's problematic in itself) not seeming to know what's going on).

#solo louis #louis image #indie #lt3 #tzp #i like the shout out to the livestreamers too!

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digigenius-70 · 11 months

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Top 10 Best Wedding Band Walas in Delhi!

Dance is a common way for guests at Indian weddings to demonstrate their joy and fun. Dance is an essential component of Indian weddings regardless of religion or community you are in, and to dance, you either need a DJ or a band. Hard-core Indians like me love to have bands play at weddings because they allow us to dance on city streets.. Our happiness is broadcasted to the entire city by the bands with sound and lights.

Here’s a list of Delhi’s all-time favorite Top 10 Band Walas that will make your wedding the talk of the town!

1. The Master Band

First on the list is the public’s most favorite and trusted wedding band- Master Band!

From Baggi to Doli to Ghodi, everything is available at this one-stop band. But lucky for you, the list does not just end here. They also provide premium services like photography, rose petal blasts, and even religious processions that will make your wedding stand out from the rest. With impressive packages and an amicable and punctual staff, this band is the first choice for every household.

2. The Chawla Band

A close second is Chawla Band. Your wedding will be electrified by this "Dilli ka Mashoor" band. Since 2012, they have had the privilege of serving as the official band partner for the cricket team "Delhi Dare Devils" in the Indian Premier League. They have distinctive costumes and turbans that look fashionable when worn by the band, giving Baraat a regal appearance. There is no genre where anyone can compete with them, including instrumental music, Bollywood composition, Bhangra, pop, Shehnai, Tasha, and Dhol.

3. The Ashoka Band

Third in line is the amazing Ashoka Band. They have everything you need for a noisy and extravagant wedding, including bands, chariots, ornamental lights, firecrackers, Punjabi Dhol and Bhangra groups, Shehnais, Tashas, and Nagadas. They are experts in presenting a brass band. They are the most reliable and committed band who will never fail you in front of your relatives and friends in terms of the playing. They are affordable yet impressive, and hence, a public favorite.

4. The Jagdish Prakash and Sons Band

On the 4th is The Jagdish Prakash and Sons Band. They are knowledgeable about all forms of entertainment. They are the only ones of their sort, arranging for Gidda Dancers, Bhangra Group, Rajasthani Folk Dancers, Dandiya Nights, Western Dancers, Bollywood Dancers, and Haryanvi Dancers, and have a staff of 41 musicians. They also have Male-Female Singers, Sufi Singers, Gazal Night Singers, a Qawwali Group, Emcee, and many other performers to choose from in their organization.

5. The Sahib Band

Next on the list is a public favorite- Sahib Band. Established in 1994, it is one of the most well-known and prestigious band companies. Their stunning costumes have always drawn attention from both inside and outside of Delhi. They consistently enhance their offerings to meet the needs of the young dancers participating in wedding processions. Before arriving to play at your venue, they practice for a period which makes them the most asked-for band in the capital.

6. The A-One Samrat Band

A-One Samrat Band provide a variety of services, ranging from lavishly embellished baggis that would make any groom look regal to trumpets, trombones, saxophones, clarinets, and other classic Indian fashionable leather/fiber-based rhythm instruments. Their main draw is the Jhumar lights. They usually wander through cities and villages dressed in their ostentatious attention-getting garb. They are regarded as having the most disciplined band members. As a result, their name is well-known.

7. The Shiv Mohan Band

Shiv Mohan Band is the first and most well-known brass band in India that is both luxurious and trustworthy. They have years of experience performing at festivals, religious jules, wedding processions, and other events. The wedding band alternates between playing traditional and modern songs. To ensure that all of your guests can enjoy the show, their fire personnel take all necessary safety precautions. They have contacts with florists and can arrange for flower decorations as well.

This Karol Bagh, Delhi-based band expressly specializes in Cultural Dance, Doli, Ghodi, and Band services.

8. The Vikas Band

By fusing popular Indian melodies, pounding brass beats, and traditional folk music with general hallmark tunes from Bollywood, jazz, funky, pop, and even a hint of Indian classical music in partnership with the evocative sounds of the dhol, Vikas Band has created its unmatched charm. Many times, spectators have been in awe of the results of the vibrant blend of color, sound, and movement.

9. The Mahavira Band

Mahavira Band specializes in tailoring the services based on the event and provides unmistakable illumination for it. They perform the most recent Bollywood hits, and the band is well-equipped with all the polished instruments, including saxophones, drums, banjos, flutes, synthesizers, and trumpets to play all of your favorite songs in the most melodic ways.

10. The Shri Sai Band

Being the most common wedding band, Shri Sai Band can provide its entire clientele with excellent work. They are an expertly run band that has been inspiring respect and pride in the band world for many years. According to client requests, their band's musicians perform both traditional and Western harmony.

Weddings are nothing less than a festival. And they deserve to be celebrated like a festival!

#band names #delhi #wedding #wedding bands #baraat #shaadi

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confessionsofananxiousbisexual · 1 year

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110 in the Shade (1992 OBC) Explained Only Through the Soundtrack

For context of what this is see this post. (also will have masterlist of musicals listened to)

Broadway musical from 1963. Revival in 2012 with Audra McDonald

I had not heard of it before.

Music by Harvey Schmidt

Lyrics by Tom Jones

Book by N. Richard Nash

Stars:

Inga Swensen - plays Lizzie

Robert Horton - plays Mr. Starbuck

Stephen Douglass - I’m assuming plays the other love interest, but no idea.

Setting: Definitely somewhere in the South in the United States. Based on the Southern accents. also the first song is “It’s Gonna be Another Hot Day”

Genre: Romance, Slice of Life

Character Names: Lizzie (First named in Lizzie’s Comin’ Home. Female Lead), Jim (brought up in Poker Polka), There’s a dude named File?? (First named in Hungry Men. Lizzie seems interested in him coming by so prob one of the male leads), Mr. Starbuck (First named in Rain Song. One of the Male Leads)

Plot: It’s a very hot day in a very small town. Douglass’s character (we’ll go with File) is complaining about the heat. All the guys in town sing about Lizzie as she comes back into town? Lizzie is kind of bummed out because she’s worried she’ll never find a man. This other guy named Mr. Starbuck also just got into town and he convinces some of the townsfolk that he can make it rain on Sunday if they pay him $100. Lizzie thinks he’s full of shit. Starbuck uses toddler logic and says “no you’re full of shit” to her which makes her pretty mad. Lizzie then runs in File who sings about how he thinks relationships all end too quickly, though she then sings about how actually they can last a while, and File starts to wonder if maybe she’s right. File seems into her. But after File leaves, she sings ANOTHER song about how she’s so lonely (I think she thinks she doesn’t have a chance with File). Mr. Starbuck also seems to like Lizzie and calls her his Melisande, saying he’d find the golden fleece for her if she asked. (Maybe Starbuck had been showing Lizzy how he cons people and she had fun doing it?) Lizzie is also a bit into him too, but ultimately decides to go with File as her normal self than go off with Starbuck as someone else. It’s Sunday now and it actually starts raining. Mr. Starbuck leaves the town, all the people in awe.

Other notes

At the end Mr. Starbuck says “For the first time in my life, rain” so it’s most likely a coincidence. Potentially hinting at the fact that Mr. Starbuck tends to bullshit but when it came to Lizzie, she made him feel something true?

Toddler logic: “I’m sad about you. You don’t believe in anything, not even yourself” Mr. Starbuck. He says this because Lizzie doesn’t believe he can make it rain, between that and being named Starbuck. I did not like this dude at all.

It was made in the 60s so all the women just want to provide for their poor men who have been working hard all week and finally have a day off. Lizzie’s whole thing is about how she wishes she had a man to take care of.

I heard Inga’s voice say “File” and I just thought damn, any other singer and I would have treated it as a throwaway name but the female lead just said it so probably one of the guys from a previous song.

I didn’t fully comprehend that it had been a love triangle until like the last song tbh. Douglass didn’t have a super distinct voice and Spotify didn’t label him as a singer on half of his songs (For example “A Man and a Woman” is just listed as a Lizzie song, even though it’s a duet). I had realized there must be two different guys, but I think I started to wonder if it was Starbuck and a Bunch of Other Guys.

Poker Polka has a fun name to say but wow those lyrics are a pretty good representation of depression. It’s a dude (ohh, must be File, he seems like he isn’t having a good time) singing about how he doesn’t do a series of things he enjoyed doing anymore. Poker, dancing, picnics. all things you’d do with groups of people.

Would I listen to it again? Nope. This is not my vibe of musical in the slightest. Listening to the Audra McDonald version is tempting, but I didn’t like the songs in general.

Next Show 13 (2008) - link will be added after I listen to it

#/spotifymusicals #110 in the shade #broadway #broadway musicals

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binniesthighs · 3 years

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cherry knot | reader x ryujin

a/n: you may be thinking to yourself, ro! a gg fic?? how unlike you!! well, boy do i have news for you 😂 truthfully, i’ve always been toying with the idea of writing a lil somethin’ (esp for ryujin god i love her) so i thought why not! if this isn’t your cup of tea, that’s totally okay <3 those who do read, thank you so much for reading and i hope that ya like it hehe and let me know what you think of it! :D (thank you @dom--minnie for enabling me too ;)

cherry knot | reader x ryujin

🍒 Pairing: self insert, female reader x shin ryujin

🍒 Genre: fluff n’ a lil bit suggestive

🍒 Tags: friends to lovers, high school au (everyone depicted is 18+), all girls school au, high school crush!ryujin, shy!reader, confession of feelings, that good, good makin’ out, ryujin being flirty and smug as hell bc i love her, yeah this is just me gushing about shin ryujin, ro trying new things on the blog :)

🍒 Word count: 2.9k

🍒 CWs: mentions of food and eating reader included

The grass felt sticky and uncomfortable under your crossed legs, and when you swiped your hand against the skin, you could feel the indentation from the blades. Your knee-high socks felt itchy too; everything felt itchy. Even the cotton of your shirt felt like it was suffocating, and the bow tied around your neck which hung loosely should have hung even looser.

To distract yourself, you plucked up the blades of green and tied them into knots absentmindedly. It was easier to pay attention to your idle hands compared to paying attention to her.

Could she even tell that you were looking? Could she see out of the corner of her eye when she threw her cotton-candy pink hair behind her ear? Could she tell that you watched as she gulped down the lemonade and caught a glance at the peachy fuzz of her neck exposed by her collar?

Stop looking. Stop looking.

Your other friends tied up their hair in clips and with lazy hair ties to free their sweating necks from the sun. No matter the sweltering heat, it was always tradition for your picnic just before the summer vacation. One of them had brought a cake and each of the girls attacked it viciously with small forks and smeared bits of frosting on each other’s noses.

“Come here!! You’re next!!” They beamed while launching themselves in your direction to dot your nose with the white cream.

A flurry of high pitched giggles peeled out from each of you once another frosting victim had been dubbed. Your cheeks felt furiously hot knowing that she was looking; and that she was laughing along with the rest of them.

“Awwww cute.” She adored with a smile that turned her dimples into whiskers on her cheeks.

You quickly wiped it off with a handkerchief that settled into your damp hand.

She’s looking, she’s looking…

The other girls pranced around the checkered picnic blanket in their white socks--undoubtedly painting them with green that their mothers would scold them for later. Their careless steps made a mess of the food wrappers and canvas backpacks that held down the corners of the thin fabric. The joyous cheers of the girls seemed to harmonize with the song of the cicadas in the trees; both sounds reminded you of the coming of the summer and the humid weather that makes the air dense.

One of the girls brought out her phone and played loudly from it one of her favorite songs which she knew every word too, regardless of the fact that her tone was far from the singer’s.

You and your friends never cared much for how others would view you. Even at school when you would march through the hallways arm-and-arm, others would stare at the way that none of you batted an eye at those who would glare.

They were just jealous was all.

“Be careful!!” You found yourself scolding, “What if you fall running around like that?”

In response, your friends promptly stuck out their tongues in your general direction.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ryujin coolly popped another cherry into her mouth from the bowl by her crossed legs. “If they fall, let them! It's funnier that way.”

She threw a wink right at you, which you almost didn’t catch because you had quickly averted your eyes to become much more interested in the tiny tea-cakes.

“You’re always worrying Y/n! Its summer!”

“I-I do not.”

Ryujin chuckled in that way that always made you feel like your heart was just about ready to leap out of your chest.

“Lighten up! Come on!”

Before you could process it all, your friend patted down the wrinkles in her skirt and threw off her shoes. She rose, and neared your corner of the blanket with hands outstretched.

“Stop worrying about things or if people are watching!” She scolded you with a cute and tiny pout, “Get up!” Ryujin wriggled her hands with emphasis to show you that you could take hold of them.

“W-what…?”

The other girls giggled on, hardly even noticing the two of you over their singing.

You grabbed onto her hands, already loathing how damp your own felt against hers out of your own nervousness. She still held onto you tightly, saying nothing of them and helped you to your feet. Immediately she brightened once you played along and started to swing your arms in tune with the song. Your friend lip synced to the rap part and you felt just about ready to swoon from how cool she looked saying the words with ease.

“Dance with me!! Don’t pay attention to people walking by or anything like that!”

Ryunjin led you by the hand to the patch of grass with little white and pink flowers laced into it. You really did try to pay attention to dancing, but everything else seemed to be distracting even when you tried hard enough. She brought your hand up higher to spin her, and when she twisted, everything seemed to happen in slow motion: the billow of her plaid shirt, her rosy-pink hair which swiped just at her shoulders, even the way that the sunset melted behind her into swirls of sunburst yellow and vibrant orange. It was like she was all a part of it.

“Your turn!” She said, twisting you too.

You didn’t realize that you would have been as dizzied by it as you were, but when you lost your footing, she was just as quick to help you with her hands carefully grasped onto your shoulders.

“You okay?” Ryujin asked, out of breath, but still genuine.

“I’m fine!”

Your knees wobbled with barely any strength to them, but you mustered every bit of confidence that you had to keep being this close to her. You surprised yourself when you reached back for her hands to continue swinging them between you.

The other girls collapsed back onto the blanket in a pile of shallow exhales and airy laughs that they exchanged between them.

“No more dancing, I-I can’t do any more…” One of them announced while leaning against the shoulder of another one of your friends.

“I forgot! I brought this!!” One of your friends with pigtail braids dove deeply into her backpack and pulled out nearly all of the contents before finding the small cube-case which was decorated with an obscene amount of keychains. “My camera! We have to take some pictures so that we can remember this!”

The other girls squealed in agreement and ganged up on her to fit into the frame of the white Polaroid camera that she had also splattered with stickers.

“Here, I wanna show you something.” Ryujin drew your attention back to the blanket where she settled back down with her own bag draped over her legs.

“What is it?”

“Ryujinnie! I wanna take your picture too! Your pink hair is so pretty…” One of your friends cooed with a sad downturn to her lips, “I hope that you never change it.”

“Hmm, I don’t know. We’ll see. My cousin has been saying that she wants to see what I would look like blonde these days.”

The small talk didn’t concern you too much, you were more concerned with what it was that your friend had to show you.

“I’m going on a trip with my cousins soon so we’ll see what happens.”

Your friend sighed, and skipped over the mess of the blanket to pull Ryujin by the wrist to the walkway a little farther off. “You’d look so cute over here!”

She pardoned her, and stumbled after the eager girl to let her take a Polaroid of her. Even from far away, you could still hear the two of them admire the picture with happy little expressions of “ah! I told you that it would look good!”

The two girls returned, and you began to worry if your friend even remembered what she had said in the first place.

What is it? What does she want to show me?

“Shoot!!” Another one of your friends huffed out while looking at her phone, “I forgot that I have to tutor the middle schoolers today!! I’m late!!”

The girls went to action in a mere matter of seconds sweeping up the picnic assortment and shoving the leftovers into their backpacks.

You helped them and tried to look over to your other friend who didn’t return your glances. Perhaps she really had forgotten.

You let your imagination run wild for just a few moments, although the more that you did, the more it all just seemed preposterous. Maybe it was a confession letter, maybe she had written for you one of those poems like she had liked to do, maybe she had rather wanted to talk to you about something...say something that you wanted to say back…

“I’m going to stick around.” Ryunjin said suddenly with her hands on her hips. “Y/n, you’re welcome to stay too if you want. We don’t exactly have to go home yet since the sun’s still up.”

Your friends looked to you for your answer, to which you stammered out an, “O-okay…” The best that you could.

“See you later!!” They called after with their shoes only half-slid onto their feet.

You waved them off, but the farther that they walked away, the more the realization started to hit you that you were alone with her. The sound of your heartbeat echoed in your ears, and you calmed it trying to think about anything else but the fact that now her attention was truly undivided upon you.

“You said that you wanted to show me something?”

Your friend nodded, and patted the grass beside her for you to join her. She gathered up the small bundle of cherries left behind and positioned them into her lap.

“I learned this trick a little bit ago and I wanted to show you!”

“A trick?”

She nodded, and plucked from one of the crimson berries a stem which she put directly into her mouth.

“What are you doing?!” On the surface, it didn’t seem like the most sanitary thing to do.

Ryunjin stifled a laugh and lightly hit you on the arm to chastise you. “Just wait a minute!”

You watched in your confusion as her face contorted a little, and her eyebrows twisted like she was thinking. Her cheeks puffed a little too, and you could tell that she was doing something with it in her mouth--it was only then when you realized that you had been intensely observing her mouth.

In your embarrassment you threw your eyes in the other direction, but it was no use one you heard her start to giggle at how flustered you had become.

“It’s okay, you’re supposed to look.” She assured you.

“What-what is it?”

“Annnnd done!” Your friend proclaimed proudly and you struggled to meet her again without feeling like your whole face and the tips of your ears were burning up.

Right on the pink of her tongue she had tied the stem into a tiny knot which she displayed proudly.

“You...did that with your tongue?”

“Mm-hm!”

Your hands reduced back to their clammy state, and they found the grass between your own folded legs to find something to do.

“That's...that’s pretty cool…”

“I know right?!”

Back came your friend's little dimples, and this time your chest started to feel like it was swelling with heat.

Stop looking, stop looking…

“I can teach you how to do it some day if you’d like.” Ryujin’s tone dropped lower, and more serious in the way that some had thought to be intimidating. To you, there was nothing more that could make you feel the beat of your own heart more obviously.

“Teach me? How??”

The question felt like a butterfly in your lips, fluttering and ticklish, light and uncertain. You met her eyes the best you could; even though you knew that there was nothing about her that you didn’t already know, or that was threatening.

Your friend tilted her head, inspecting you and the way that you could barely keep your glance away from her lips--stained just a little red from the cherries--then smiled.

“W-what? What is it? Why are you smiling?”

She sighed, and craned forward on one of her hands in the grass, bridging the distance between the two of you to caress down the side of your face, all the way to your jaw with the back of her fingers.

“You’re just too cute.”

“Hm?” Your chest threw itself up and down, and you could thinly feel the breath that tried to fill your lungs when she was this close.

“I just can’t handle it any more.”

“Me?”

Ryunjin nodded, softening her eyes until they were nearly closed, and rid the two of you of all space, leaning over just so you could feel the weight of her chest nearly pressing into yours. At first, she placed the lightest of kisses into you, so light that it barely brushed against your lips, but merely imprinted upon them. She leaned back, leaving you with the ghost of a feeling of her upon you. It felt a bit unfair how fleeting it was, and how she looked at you like that: smug as ever, but as blissful as she always was.

Your breaths tried to make sense of it all, if it had just happened, and what to think of it. As quick as it was, all you could want was to feel it again.

“Ryu--”

She cradled both sides of your face in hers, leaning in with more fervor and parting your lips with hers, leaving you to squeak from the sudden movement. You couldn’t figure out how to kiss back at first, or if you should hold her too. Your head felt like it was spinning in circles from your disbelief when you could taste the tiny tang of the sweet and sour cherries which lingered on her lips. She rubbed her thumbs into your cheeks, and angled you better to let her growing smile paint your own mouth from corner to corner.

At last, you were able to find a rhythm which suited you, and you kissed her right back. She giggled at your stroke of confidence and the vibrations made your whole body tingle. Your feet had surely fallen asleep where you had folded them beside you, but the numb feeling of them dissolved once her hands fell to your shoulder where she held to you tightly. The pressure from the tips of her fingers made you shiver, and you too smoothed down the pink shine of her hair.

The warm and ticklish feeling of her tongue grazed your lower lip where she changed her approach and deepened her kiss. The heat of tongues finally met in the middle testing and learning more of the other the closer that you became, and tiny airy gasps got stuck between both of your curiosity. In your lap, her hands found yours and they laced together and held tight; each digit wrapping the other and becoming one with the eagerness of her thumb rubbing little circles into the squishy parts of your hand.

After the heat of your passion started to melt, you found yourself hiding your giddy laughter the best you could once she started to peck at your lips over and over until you felt like she had kissed you so close to the brim that you would overflow.

“I said that you’re cute and I mean it!” She snuck the phrase in between a couple more kisses, eliciting you to fold up in your giddy embarrassment from the compliment.

Ryunjin pulled away, and popped another cherry into her mouth from the bundle, then threw her arms around your shoulders. You simply let your hands rest in her lap covered by the plaid of her skirt; shaking from the release of the endorphins and the adrenaline.

“Ryujin...I wanted to tell you that I’ve had a crush on you for a...really long time…” You shied, but she brought your chin back to look at her directly.

“Good. Me too.”

You couldn’t even process the combination of her words for them to make sense. White noise filled your ears, even though it should have been obvious from the way that she had kissed you like that.

“Oh! Here. I wanted to give this to you too. Something to remember me by.”

She reached for her bag, and pulled out a white-out pen from the front pocket. The Polaroid had faded into its full color, and she focused with her tongue peeking from her mouth as she wrote the message:

see you soon <3

- ryujinnie

Over her head in the picture, she doodled a few hearts, then she blew on the ink to dry it.

“For you!”

You took the picture with your hands still thoroughly shaking, and all you could utter was a “thanks” while you took in your friend looking as gorgeous as she always was. You knew then that you would treasure the image forever, and the day which it was taken.

“Who knows,” Ryujin started, and let her head fall to your shoulder where she nuzzled in, “This might be the last that you’ll see of my pink hair too.”

You turned the picture over, already sensing how it made your heart feel like it was aching sticky and sweet, just like the cherries.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @cherrychngkyn @iwanttobangchan @dom--minnie @waterthemoon @pastelracha @mistakensilence @hotgorloikawa @bowlofblueberries @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

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dat-town · 3 years

Text

not gonna miss this chance

Characters: Han Seojun & soloist!female reader

Genre: fluff

Setting: true beauty au, set a year after the tv show’s ending timeline

Summary: Your career is on the verge of ending, hence your management puts you up to do a duet with the infamous Han Seojun. You have heard too many rumours about him to keep track of and yet, none of them could have prepared you for the feelings that came with meeting him.

Words: 4.1k

Self indulgent little snippet because he deserves happiness too.

You had heard of Han Seojun before meeting him, of course you had. Everybody who was in the industry had heard of the hot trend of a Newstagram star-turned idol and his band's shining debut from a year ago. They were told to have snatched teenage girls hearts all over Korea with their good looks and soulful music. You had heard their title track and you had to admit it was nice but nice wasn't enough in a cut-throat industry like entertainment.

Look at you, starting training at twelve, debuting at fifteen and now barely twenty-one you were on the verge of becoming a thrown away doll. Once you had been called cute and the it girl of your generation and now? People were saying you got boring just because your music had matured. Gosh, you couldn't keep singing about first love like your hit song had been for the rest of your life for god's sake. Your last album had been a flop, your company had been losing money and you were still afraid that even with a year left of your contract, they would cut you. But your manager had begged them for a chance and here it was: a collaboration with the newest love of Korea.

But the thing was, Han Seojun had quite a reputation and you didn't know who to believe. Some said he was well-mannered and hard-working. Others gossiped that he was always flirting with his makeup artists and Chen claimed he had been rude to her even when he had just been a ‘nobody’. Not that you were particularly fond of Chen either but as a fellow solo female singer you were a tad bit worried how the infamous singer would treat you.

Well, standing in front of Move Entertainment, you were just about to find out. Taking a shallow breath you followed your manager's lead, bowing to the receptionist and getting into the elevator after taking your visitor's badge. You had heard the company has gone through many changes after the executives were replaced due to the revealed Seyeon scandal but everything looked expensive, shiny and new, unlike in your small agency.

“Hey, I’m Lim Heekyung, nice to meet you. Seojun will be in a minute, too,” a woman in a pantsuit walked up to you on the right floor with a confident smile as she introduced herself. She led you to a meeting room which was apparently customized for a few people only and started preparing papers. She looked excited which was a relief and nice to see, at least someone from Move Entertainment was happy for this project apparently. You were a bit afraid they would see you like a leech, trying to cling onto their new star’s popularity.

“Shall we start? Seojun is a fan of dramatic entrances anyways,” Miss Lim laughed joyfully as if it wasn’t new to her that the idol didn’t make it on time. Ah yeah, you had heard rumours saying that he had something on the company and that was why they were so lenient with him.

You sat in silence, let your manager do the talk about the collaboration project. Seojun could play the guitar, you could play the piano, apparently it was perfect for a ballad duet, though if you used instruments yourself it added to the preparations time. But luckily, there was a songwriter named Leo at the company who had already sent in a few samples specifically for Seojun, so you didn’t have to start from zero.

“Ah, I see you started without me. What did I miss?” A tall boy opened the door wide and flipped down onto the chair across you casually. He had grown into his lanky limbs and with those wide shoulders hugged by the leather jacket, helix earrings in one ear and soft brown hair brushed to one side, it wasn’t a surprise how many female fans swooned over him. But there were a lot of handsome boys in the business, just his looks – no matter how confident he was in them based on the way he carried himself – wouldn’t make a difference.

Miss Lim patiently let Seojun know about the advances and only when she mentioned your name, did the boy glance at you. His dark brown eyes had a sharp form, just as piercing as his gaze, but the cunning smile spreading over his lips softened it a bit. He looked at you as if he wanted to see through you, to figure out how he should have approached you. You expected a snarky or arrogant comment, but in the end, he just flashed a blinding smile at you, one you could see on his posters, before turning back to Miss Lim.

“What’s the schedule?” he asked simply and you both were notified about the deadline of deciding and finalizing the song, the dates of planned recording sessions and the photoshoot. Since there would be no promotion period, it all would be done within a month and half from start to finish. You were a bit relieved hearing that and leave Move Entertainment without any confrontation.

You thought you were good at masking your wary feelings since the further meetings went well and the first recording session went okay-ish. Although both of you had been a bit scolded by the producer for not putting enough feelings into your singing. He claimed that the demo sent by Leo was much more emotional which made Seojun scoff and mumble under his nose. The PD called it for a day, making you promise to practice for next time and one by one they all left. Your manager told you that he would bring the car while you refresh yourself in the bathroom, so you really didn’t expect anyone to wait for you when you stepped out of the restroom, much less Han Seojun.

"Spit it out," he bit out barely glancing your way as he leaned against the corridor’s wall.

"What?" you spluttered as you were really taken aback by his out of blue appearance and question. The guy let out a tired sigh at your obliviousness and pushed himself away from the wall just to walk up to you, towering over your height with his.

"You look at me as if I killed your hamster or something. Which rumour about me bothers you? I fucking can't keep walking on eggshells around you, especially when it's just the two of us," he tsked and you gulped at the sudden called out. You didn’t think it bothered him, or that he was considerate enough to ‘walk on eggshells around you’, you merely thought he was so distant from everybody. It was still better than what Chen had told you.

"Oh, I… nothing. It's stupid. Sorry," you mumbled, feeling embarrassed for your your actions but Seojun apparently wasn’t satisfied without a real answer as he carried on:

"I didn't bully kids in high school but I threatened ones that deserved it, I didn't only get a pity chance from the entertainment, one of our makeup artists is actually one of my best friends, I'm not…"

"Chen told me you are rude and arrogant and have no respect for girls," you blurted out to stop him from speaking because you felt like you didn’t deserve to hear all that. He didn’t owe you any explanation for the way he was. You were just co-workers for a project after all, you had no place in his life, nor he had in yours, so he shouldn’t have been that bothered by your opinion but you understood that he felt uncomfortable due to your silent accusations.

Hearing your hasty interruption, the singer scoffed, a laugh-like sound leaving his mouth.

"Well, I have no respect for girls like Chen who harass my friends and turn their lives into hell just to go on a date with me," he said and it made you blink slowly.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. Check your facts before you go around believing such crap," Seojun stepped back with a roll of his eyes.

The whole situation made you feel made about how you acted, so you wished to apologise but it fell from your lips all too carelessly: "Sorry, I was just worried. This is my last chance, so–"

"Last chance?" the guy quirked a brow at you, curious but you quickly waved his question away.

"Nevermind, I just need this song to do well."

"Of course, it will. I'm Han Seojun, it will turn to gold under my hands," he grinned and made eccentric gestures as if he was about to do magic. You couldn't help a smile. “Or well, vocal chords.”

And turn it to gold, he did.

The rest of your recording sessions went smoother, even the previously grumpy PD complimented your for the development in your chemistry. Funny, you wouldn’t have thought that the wall pulled up between the two of you mattered that much, but at least you didn’t have a knot in your stomach, nor did you worry about every small thing you did around Han Seojun. He also acted more casual, more playful, joking around when both of you had a bit of time to take a breather. He snapped silly pictures, showed off with his height, smirked when he got too close but despite all his bravado and lowkey flirting, you believed even he wouldn’t have jeopardised his career over something like this.

Maybe that's why wrapping up the recording felt a tad bit weird: you got used to his presence, his jokes, his beautiful, deep voice that you could have fallen asleep to. Sure, sometimes he was cocky, a bit rough around the edges but he was a great singer and a fun guy. The project seemed to work out well and you loved it a lot, so you hoped the listeners would appreciate it as well.

But before all that you had one photo shoot together for the promotional pictures and the single's cover. You were grateful for the simple pastel colour background and elegant setting. The warm light latte colour and the clock in the background really fit the song's vibe. Luckily, your dress was decent and pretty as well, you didn't have to feel uncomfortable in it at least. However, you didn’t expect that happy yelp coming from one of the makeup artists stepping into the dressing room. You turned to face the girl, wondering whether she was your fan judged by her excitement.

"Oh my! I'm so happy to finally meet you! Seojun told us about you so much!" she beamed at you which obviously took you back. Well, that you didn’t expect at all. He spoke of you to others? Ah. Apparently to the makeup artist who was most probably that certain one of his best friends he had told you about?

"Don't exaggerate, Imju, I mentioned her like what… once?" Seojun walked in on cue. He rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, trying to avert the topic. "How's Suho?"

You had know idea who that said guy was but after a moment or two you could breathe properly once again while listening to their chatting.

“Just the usual. He’s excited about your duet.”

“Of course, he is,” Seojun grinned, a bit snarky but you could hear the proud undertones of it. When he looked at you, you were surprised by him leaning close though as he quieted down until only you could hear it. “Don’t worry, Jugyeong is really good and just stop her if she gets too gossip-y.”

“Are you talking about me behind my back, hah, Han Seojun?” The pretty girl called Jugyeong raised her fist as if she was about to hit the idol but he just laughed it off and left you two alone when he was hurried onto the set to start with his individual shoots.

“Have you known each other for a long time?” you couldn’t help but wonder as you were seated to get your makeup from her.

“Ah, almost 4 years, I think. We went to high school together. Plus, he’s best friends with my boyfriend. Though, they are always bickering like a married couple,” Jugyeong chuckled joyfully as she started with the cushion. You closed your eyes, listening as she kept going on about the time when Seojun had been obsessed with his motorbike, getting into trouble with his mother. It was strange hearing about a whole other side of him, mama's boy but the image tugged on your mouth, making you smile even though you weren't sure you had the right to know all that. You also learned that Seojun's sister was dating Jugyeong's brother and you felt so involved with the girl's trust albeit it was your last meeting, you were sure Seojun must have only told good things about you.

Hence, you felt shy under his knowing gaze when you walked out of the dressing room. He must have known that Jugyeong couldn't shut up for the life of her, so he looked a bit uncertain, too, stretching the back of his neck, forcing a cunning smile onto his smile when you took your place next to him.

To fit the ballad's theme, the setting was a piano decorated with flowers and you were instructed to sit beside him as if you were about to play a four hands piece. As you did what you had been told, you were very much aware of the way your arms brushed, his long fingers over the keys close to yours, his smile small but genuine.

"Great, great, guys! Someone help her onto the piano and Seojun, stand in front of her," the photographer directed the next scene but before any staff members would have rushed up to you, the singer next to you shushed them.

"I can do it," he insisted as he stood up and looked you in the eyes, silently asking for permission. You nodded while holding your breath back before Seojun put his hands on your waist above the fluffy tulle skirt part and counting on three, he lifted you onto the lid of the beautiful instrument.

You crossed your legs, watching in awe as your pink skirt fell down on waves but your breath hitched for an entirely different reason when you looked up, gaze meeting Seojun's feline eyes trained on you. You had never seen him look at you like that, lacking playfulness or suspicion or curiosity. He looked open, vulnerable, outright starstruck. Your lips parted meaning to ask something but your brain shut off when you heard the shutter of the camera go down and the director yelling compliments at you. It made you snap out of it and later, you blamed the evident blush on your cheeks on the makeup. Seojun blinked too, his guarded expression back in no time, finishing the photo shoot professionally, always lingering close to you, but never touching you. Even though you wouldn’t have minded.

"Hey," Seojun peeked into your dressing room just as you were about to leave, packing up, with a smile on his mouth and sparkles in his deep brown eyes. But unlike half an hour ago when he wore a fancy suit and looked at you like a prince would have looked at his princess, he acted just as casual as he looked in his denim jacket over dark tee. "Wanna grab something with me if you finished for today?"

His question took you back but first thing first you glanced towards your manager, eyes begging for permission which you had gotten with a sigh.

"Just be discreet and call me if you need me to pick you up," your manager shrugged, leaving you two alone with a knowing look that told you to be careful. You didn't need to be told though, you knew how much depended on the current public response to your image.

"Seems like a green light. Have you thought of anything specific?" you turned back to the boy with a subtle smile.

"Not really but I know a few less frequent, secluded places to avoid much talk about us," he said and you nodded, following his lead. Masks, caps and hoodies on, you barely talk on your way to the tent with the lovely ahjumma who welcomed Seojun (two heads taller than her) with a pinch of his cheeks and told you to get seated.

"Are you a regular here?" you inquire, carefully pulling down your mask since not many people are around.

"You could say that," the boy hummed letting you adjust to the place at your own pace, not pressuring you with extra reassessments about how safe it is there. Yet, he is so casual as if he wasn't afraid of a getting mobbed by Dispatch out of the blue. Not that it happened to you a lot of times but you heard stories and at such a crucial time in your career, you feared something like that more than anything.

"Do you want to come up to mine instead?" Seojun blurted out suddenly which made you wide eyed in a span of a moment as you splattered out a surprised yelp. "Come on, I don't mean anything by it. You just look really nervous being in the public," the singer said, his deep voice softening, soothing by the end and you needed to take a breather before answering. You didn't think it was so obvious but apparently you had never been a good liar with him.

In the end, you decided on going over to Seojun's place, so he asked the ahjumma to pack your food to go and you headed towards his flat a few blocks from the company. It was a small but cozy place, much softer and brighter than you expected, lots of pastels and photos of friends and family. While the boy busied himself in the kitchen, getting you plates, chopsticks and beer, you were encouraged to look around and you couldn't help but smile at his photos with not only his band members but high school friends, too. You had seen photos of his graduation with Jugyeong, then another one of his debut with her and another guy. He was a recurring person on a lot of pictures, so you assumed that he was the so-called Suho.

"He's Jugyeong's boyfriend," Seojun affirmed as he walked up to you which you acknowledged with a hum and smiled at his photos with his sister and mother. The makeup artist was right when she said he was only tough on the outside.

"You knew Seyeon?" you whispered as your gaze shifted of a picture of three boys smiling widely into the camera. The middle one was the talented boy you had known from the news of his committed suicide. Such a tragedy.

"Uhum. We were best friends. Him, Suho and me," Seojun nodded and without having to ask, he told you how they had gotten to know each other, what were their favourite past time activities and how they fell apart when he died. You could see he was hurting even now as he was talking about it, so you grazed your fingers against his knuckles as though to say you were there for him to listen, or whatever he needed.

Talking about his best friends and how a group of guys including someone named Chorong stuck by his side over the years warmed your heart. It was nice to know that not everyone had it as lonely as you who basically missed out on high school and memories from that time to be able to turn your dreams into reality. Your only friends were also in the industry but it made things both easier and harder.

"What about you? What did you mean by this being your last chance?" Seojun asked like a loaded gun but after everything he had just told you, you knew you could trust him with this and being in the industry for a while now, he must have understood, too.

You told him about the rising expectations, about your image and your company's ultimatum. It actually felt nice to talk about with someone other than your manager. Especially since Seojun seemed to understand exactly why you felt conflicted over the matter. You have given your youth to this dream of yours, so giving up on it would have felt like betraying yourself and everyone who believed in you but you weren't sure you could give it another 10 years of your life no matter how much you liked music. You had decent CSATs result, maybe you could have applied for a university program. Seojun even offered to arrange a meeting between you and Suho who was studying to become a proper songwriter.

You talked for hours and ate the tteokbokki even though it had gotten cold long ago and you couldn't remember when was the last time you had felt so light. You felt giddy even with just the tiny bit of alcohol in your system by the time you knew it was time for you to go.

Once you had felt relieved knowing that promoting your duet would be only one performance but recently, you started dreading the moment because that meant that you wouldn't have any more excuse to see Seojun. In the backstage, this time around you greeted Jugyeong like an old friend and teased to give Seojun a funny makeup before walking up to your own assigned staff members. Your look was full of sparkles and glow fitting the silver colour of your dress, completing the ethereal vibe off the stage you were going to do and the beautiful song you had grown to love so much you held it close to your heart. The last rehearsals went smoothly and if you noticed Seojun's gaze lingering a bit too long, you didn't comment on it.

"Are you nervous?" he asked before the final recording and you knew it would have been unreasonable to deny it, so you replied with a small smile.

"A bit."

"Don't be. You're pretty and you'll do amazing," he reassured you and the way he said those words oh so easy. As if they were natural. As if he believed in you and maybe this was all the reassurance you needed because when you walked up onto the stage, not taking your eyes off his, it felt like it was just the two of you there. All the stress about not being good enough, about being judged for who you were and what you wanted to do with your life was subsided as you focused on the moment, just to sing this one song with one while trying to fight your heart's crazy beating.

You didn't really have the luxury to have crushes. You had always been concentrated on your work, you couldn't let yourself have distractions, especially since love scandals always affected girl worse than guy. At least that was what you told yourself for always putting up a wall around you and guarding your heart all too well. But during the past few weeks, between playful or flirty remarks, between smiles and ruffling hair, Seojun took apart your wall brick by brick even if he wasn't aware.

So it might have been only a few days since you had last seen him but in that rare moment of boredom, alone in your room, you realized that you missed him. Hell, you liked him and the feeling made me want to scream into your pillow as if you were a silly teenager. As if on cue, your phone buzzed with a new message and seeing the KakaoTalk ID made you shy.

duet partner, han seo jun

so...

i've been thinking

you

sounds dangerous but ok

duet partner, han seo jun

don't get sassy with me, miss

you

what have you been thinking about?

duet partner, han seo jun

that i don't want to miss my chance

there's this girl i like

i thought of asking her out

do you think she would say yes?

you

oh. well... why wouldn't she?

i mean, you are talented, handsome, funny and reliable

duet partner, han seo jun

and what about my job? it's busy and a bit crazy

don't you think it would be unfair of me to ask?

you

I think you should let her decide that

duet partner, han seo jun

okay

are you free on friday?

you

um, sure?

duet partner, han seo jun

cool, then go on a date with me?

#han seo jun x reader #seojun x reader #han seojun #han seo joon #true beauty #stories #i just wanted to give him a happy end after ep16 #that's what this is about

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spaceorphan18 · 3 years

Note

have you ever read a detailed post about the glee cast’s singing voices? like all about their technique and stuff? reading your reaction to the ‘vocal coach reacts to glee’ video makes me want to know more!

Hmmmm, not really! Not from a professional vocalist POV, I don’t think. (That I’m aware of. This does remind me there was one vocal coach in fandom, and she hated Blaine, and I wasn’t too fond of her, or her analysis, so I won’t point you in that direction.)

My background is in music, but not in vocal performance. But I can give you a quick rundown of cast’s musical abilities if you like, though they won’t be huge on the technical side of it.

ETA: I started this a while ago before I started doing the music retrospective - I’ll probably try to explore a little more as I do those. If you guys want more conversation about one person in particular, let me know!

But for now...

Matthew Morrison: Is a classically trained musician with a very good voice. It’s a shame Will was such a tool, because Matthew Morrison was very talented, had the ability to do a lot of great things with his voice. People joke about his rapping -- but I think this stemmed from the issue that his background is in musical theater -- which teaches you a cleaner and more traditional way of singing -- opposed to a pop or rap style. He doesn’t have the grit that rap often has, which makes it a little too much like a Kid’s Bop version of something. When singing musical theater, though, he really shined.

A number that showcases ability: Make ‘Um Laugh

A number that isn’t so great: Ice Ice Baby

Lea Michele: Lea does have a very good and solid voice. She’s also been classically trained. The one drawback is that it hinders her a bit on pop music, she lacks some of the grittiness often needed on a lot of the pop songs. She also starts to lose some of her classic training as the show goes on (which I think is a shame) so that she can get some of the shine off her voice to make a transition to pop music.

She has one vocal tick that drives me crazy, though -- she has a tendency to slide into her notes instead of hitting them dead on, which gets worse as the show goes on, and it makes her sound a little screech-y at times. But for the most part -- she is really good.

A number that showcases ability: Don’t Rain on My Parade

A number that isn’t so great: Ooops...I Did It Again

Amber Riley: The cool thing about Amber is that you get to hear her grow as a musician as the show goes on. She had already started to get vocal lessons before the show started, but at the beginning, she was still a bit raw and unrefined in her technique. But you can tell she did practice, and her voice is developed beautifully as the show goes on. She was one of the best, well rounded vocalists on the show. She had a good handle on pop and R&B music, but she could sing musical theater rather clearly, too. She has great breath support - and can belt numbers out while still retaining the quality. Can’t say enough good thing about Amber’s voice.

A number that showcases ability: Someday We’ll Be Together

A number that isn’t so great: Sweet Transvestite (It’s not bad - but it’s my least favorite Mercedes solo.)

Cory Monteith: Cory wasn’t a vocalist. And, to be completely honest, I thought it was some kind of joke when they introduced him as some kind of hidden musical gem when Will hears him singing the showers. He did really well with classic rock that’s allows not only for a weaker voice - but is often not as technically hard. And I have to wonder if Cory got lessons, because he did get a lot better as the show went on, and I think his season 4 work is great!

I will say that sometimes they pushed his voice a little too far. A lot of times songs were either too high for his range and he often sounded like he was straining. (The most notable of which is A House is Not a Home - which is far too high for him.) That said - I think he did reasonably well along side Lea - mostly because often sang pop duets.

A number that showcases ability: I’ve Gotta Be Me

A number that isn’t so great: Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore

Chris Colfer: Chris is such an interesting study due to the uniqueness of his voice. He’s got a huge range both in terms of genre and literal range of voice. He can sing quite a few octaves. He’s got a great, clear sound, too, which is why he’s great with theater numbers. Interestingly, Chris’s voice did drop over the years, and while I know people love his higher range, he has a gorgeous lower range that wasn’t used as often (and is often my favorite.)

The one (nitpicky) issue was that Chris’s voice ended up getting pigeon-holed. I know singing Diva-Broadway songs was his schtick - but it would have been nice to hear him sing a bigger variety of songs. He wasn’t the strongest on non-ballad pop music, but they also didn’t give him that very often.

There’s also the fascinating unusualness in that, Chris could really sing duets very well with people -- but in group numbers, his voice sticks out like a sore thumb, and he was often left out of some of the more general songs because of it. His voice just doesn’t texture very well - which is why I get why they did what they did.

A number that showcases ability: Being Alive

A number that isn’t so great: I’ll Remember

Kevin McHale: I feel like people are often surprised when they sit down and think about it, but Kevin has a great voice. He has a solid range, and he’s able to do pop music very well (I believe it helps that he was in a professional boy band for years.) Not sure if people noticed - but he’s often the lead on group numbers that don’t need to be related to specific story or character points. Which is a bummer for Artie’s story - but if you’re a fan of Kevin’s voice, you get a lot to choose from.

Kevin was also able to handle a lot of the musical demands that I think some of the other males weren’t? He’s a much better singer than Cory - and could handle leading a full number. His voice isn’t as unique as Chris’s and can texture really well. In addition he was fairly versatile. He might have been the best rapper the show had, lol.

A number that showcases ability: For Once In My Life

A number that isn’t so great: Addicted to Love (personal taste choice - I just don’t like the song.)

Jenna Ushkowitz: Jenna is another one who is classically trained. She has a strong, solid voice, which was unfortunately not showcased all that well on the show, and because of that, I’m not sure how she does on a wide variety of music. I do think she sounds a little generic - but not helping is lack of being featured.

A number that showcases ability: I Don’t Know How To Love Him

A number that isn’t so great: Gangum Style (She does fine - but the fact that they made her do it in the first place...)

Dianna Agron: The interesting thing about Dianna is that she has a really nice low female voice. The fact that they never gave her any punk or harder rock was really a shame, because I think she would have done really well with that. The funny thing is that, more so in the beginning, they show tried to make her sing songs that fit her character - but weren’t necessarily great for her voice. I feel like it wasn’t until late season 2 did they start really using her voice for the better.

A number that showcases ability: Never Can Say Goodbye

A number that isn’t so great: It’s A Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World

Mark Salling: Mark had a really solid voice - that often lent itself well to folk and acoustic really well. He was good with softer pop and classic rock, and the show showcased that pretty well. I think, in general, Mark was a much better vocalist than actor, and the show often picked good music for him to sing - which helped with his character. I don’t have a whole lot to say, only that I think he was underrated as a vocalist, but I get it - with all the other baggage that comes with talking about Mark.

A number that showcases ability: No Surrender

A number that isn’t so great: Fight For Your Right (to Party) (I don’t think it’s bad - I just hate this song.)

Naya Rivera: Naya is a little tricky. I think she has a good, smoky sound to her voice that makes her excellent at things like pop and R and B. (Shame she didn’t have a good jazz number to do on the show - she would have been great at that.) I think she was really versatile, though, and handled her Broadway numbers really well. I do think she was somewhat pinched and nasal at times - and while I do think this was a stylistic choice, to me it’s not my favorite type of vocal sound. But I do think she was really good at the numbers she was given, and was one of the most talented female vocalists on the show.

A number that showcases ability: Back to Black

A number that isn’t so great: Alfie (I think I may dislike the song more than her singing on it.)

Heather Morris: Heather wasn’t a singer, and I do think it showed at times. She often had to have her voice autotuned more than anyone else on the show. That said - she did do Britney Spears really well, and I think she deserves credit for that.

A number that showcases ability: I’m a Slave 4 U

A number that isn’t so great: Dinosaur

Chord Overstreet: Chord’s background is in country - and that shows a bit through his singing - he’s got a bit of twang in his voice, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. He’s a fun singer. I don’t think the show knew exactly what to do with him (voice or character) but there’s a lightness to his singing that makes him easily adaptable to pretty much anything you throw at him.

A number that showcases ability: Red Solo Cup (You think I’m joking - but I think this is the most fun Chord has singing a song.)

A number that isn’t so great: Girls on Film (I think just by default of me liking everything else better.)

Darren Criss: Ah, Darren, where to even start. The thing about Darren is that he may not be the strongest singer, his voice is a little wobbly at times, and his range is somewhat limited, but his showmanship is just completely beyond nearly everyone else. Darren has the unique ability to draw you in with his singing and hold you captive. There are technically better singers on the show - but Darren just has this amazing ability to really sell a performance. And I do love his voice, even if there are some limitations to it. I really could gush about Darren’s performance abilities, but I’ll refrain...

A number that showcases ability: Teenage Dream (Both Versions)

A number that isn’t so great: Piano Man (Which isn’t bad - I just think the show had done it better, and it’s a rare time that felt like Darren was kind of phoning it in.)

A quick run down of others, but first a quick aside - as they started adding people in, vocal ability starts being a factor. I think a lot of the newer characters could sing better than they could act, which was both helpful and a hinderance. I think we began to get more solid musical numbers as the show went on, but sometimes acting wasn’t always top notch - and across the board, old and new, hitting a combo of acting and singing ability didn’t always happen.

Harry Shum Jr.: Not really a singer - but the show often played to his strengths, and his few songs played off the fact that he wasn’t a great singer to great aplomb.

Jane Lynch: Can hold a tune, even if her voice isn’t the best - is really great at musical comedy.

Jayma Mays: She has more singing ability than the show allowed to showcase, however, she’s another one whose voice was really unique, and doesn’t texture very well.

Damien McGinty: Is actually a very good singer. However, he’s very generic, too - which makes him a little on the bland side.

Sam Larsen: I think he was fine - I don’t think he sang enough on the show for me to make much of an impression one way or the other.

Alex Newel: Fucking Fantastic! Alex might be one of the strongest vocalists on the show - has great range, energy, and vocal control.

Melissa Benoist: Her voice tends to lean on the pop-ier side, but it’s a solid voice, and her work on the show was pretty good.

Jacob Artist: Has a strong voice, and could sing genres that weren’t often featured on the show (like hip-hop and R&B).

Blake Jenner: His voice is fine, but like Damien McGinty, it’s generic and a little bland.

Becca Tobin: She has a very quirky voice that brings in a different and unique sound. They didn’t use her much, though, so it’s hard to comment.

Noah Guthrie: An amazing singer, has a really unique sound, but is able to do blend in well with others.

Samantha Ware: Another amazing singer. She’s in full control and can do really great things with it.

Billy Lewis Jr: Has a good, solid voice. Not as strong as Guthrie, or some of the other guys, but he’s a lot of fun to watch.

Laura Dreyfuss: Like Becca Tobin - has a uniqueness to her vocal quality that makes it stand out a little, but she’s still a solid singer.

Marshall Williams: His vocal ability is okay. It’s better than his acting ability. I’m slightly confused how this dude got cast, tbh.

#Anonymous #if you guys want to me to elaborate on someone - please let me know!#it's hard to do everyone since there are so many #this post took forever to write up #that's how s.o. sees it

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mostlycompetentwriter · 3 years

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Chan Request!!

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Chan

Warnings: Language and Mature Content (Not really smut since the request didn’t seem to ask for it)

Genre: Idol AU

Request:

A/N: lots of people seemed interested in this one so...

When you woke-up that morning, you immediately reached out to the left on instinct, expecting contact with another sleeping form. It was your first sign that something was wrong, fingers ghosting through empty air, and you peeled your eyes open to confirm that Chan was already gone.

You grimaced at the faint flicker of irritation in the pit of your stomach because this was the third morning in a row in which Chan had left with no prior warning. The pattern was getting old.

Did he think you wouldn’t notice?

Of course you were bound to notice. Chan was supposed to be your partner. That invited a level of trust and transparency that simply couldn’t excuse these continued absences when you needed him.

It didn’t used to be this way, especially at the beginning of your relationship. For the longest time, you had both tried to hide it from the rest of the group, especially knowing that your manager’s would disapprove, but it was hard to lie when Seungmin accidentally walked in on you and Chan with the latter’s cock down your throat.

Still, the honeymoon phase of your relationship lasted for a long time, and even when you had problems along the way, you and Chan always managed to work things out.

It was the best part of your deep connection, but recognizing how distant he had grown lately made you reconsider everything. There was a point when you could hardly leave your bed without Chan finding a way to initiate something like getting each other off or managing a quickie with Chan’s hand placed over your mouth to keep your moans to a minimum.

Frowning, you forced yourself to leave the lingering warmth of your bed sheets, squeezing your legs into skin-tight jeans, abandoned on the floor from when you had quickly thrown off your clothes before going to sleep last night.

It was another unpleasant reminder of Chan because after waiting hours for Chan to come home, you figured he had decided to spend the night at the studio. But you were vastly mistaken when he slunk into your room at around 4:00 in the morning, whispering a greeting to you after sliding under the sheets. You had slept more soundly once his arm was around your waist, deluding yourself into believing that you could forgive him for staying out so late.

Especially since Chan worked so hard to produce the songs that decorated your group’s track listings, and with the album deadline approaching for the end of the month, he was practically working himself into the ground,

There was also very little time in his overcrowded schedule left for you, and that certainly didn’t bode well for how much you longed for Chan between your legs....

“Y/N! Breakfast is ready!”

“Coming,” you shouted back at the door, annoyed that someone had interrupted your daydream fantasies.

Especially since it was the closest you had been to Chan in weeks.

It was probably Jisung’s interruption since he insisted on being the annoying little brother you could rarely escape, but it wasn’t his fault that you were in such a bad mood.

“Good morning,” he immediately chirped when you opened the door, gaze bright with mischief.

You grumbled a greeting in return to your bandmate. “Why are you on the girl’s side of the dorm?”

Jisung scoffed. “Oh, so Chan can have all the access he wants, but I’m the one scolded for just saying hello?”

You rolled your eyes at his tone. “Whatever. Who cooked this morning?”

“Felix did,” Jisung replied, and you perked up a bit knowing that one of your youngest group mates had taken the time to flex his impressive cooking skills - it had to be better than Changbin’s attempt at frying eggs.

“Let’s go,” you said, dragging a petulant Jisung behind you as you both sauntered down the staircase together, joining the others in the part of the house where everything opened up into the common area.

Your managers didn’t mind so much when you were all together in the shared space of the living room and kitchen, but that certainly didn’t stop unmitigated romps between your male and female colleagues.

Your group was a rarity in the music world: comprised of twelve members, including eight of the boys and three of your closest girl pals who had all agreed to audition with you on an unforgettable summer afternoon.

The fact that you were all accepted into the same company, under the same group name, was even more of a blessing in disguise. You could always rely on them whenever you needed advice, and you had steadily grown closer to the rest of the guys over the years.

Next month marked your fifth-year anniversary (it concurred with your 1st-year anniversary with Chan), and your group was planning to release an album to celebrate, including some previously unreleased gems that Chan had kept hidden on his computer’s hard drive.

Everyone was excited, but the tension of trying to be the best and accomplish everything on time was always weighing heavily on all of your group mates’ shoulders.

Chan was, of course, taking it worst of all, and you were seething beneath the surface when you spotted him at the table sitting between Changbin and Hyunjin, eating breakfast with his eyes glued to his phone screen.

Why didn’t Chan ask you to come to breakfast with him?

“Y/N’s here,” Jisung announced, abandoning your side for his usual spot between Lisa and Sana.

Several of your group members mumbled greetings, but you were disappointed to discover that Chan hadn’t even looked up from his phone.

“Thanks, Felix,” you whispered when you sat down next to the blonde-haired singer, immediately peeling into the croissant that he served you.

“Is everyone coming to the studio later?” Minho asked, summoning your attention. “We need to go over the choreo one more time.”

Your muscles screamed in protest, but you reluctantly nodded your head. Meanwhile, Jisung let out an exaggerated groan at the thought of another six-hour practice.

“You need it the most,” Minho teased him, and you smiled at the good-natured jab between the two.

At the same time, you watched as Chan rose from his seat, depositing his plate into the sink. You rose to meet him halfway to the door where he stuffed his arms into the sleeves of his leather jacket.

“Chan, do you have plans tonight?” you sheepishly inquired, wincing when you realized how ridiculous it was for you to walk on eggshells around your boyfriend and group mate.

“Busy,” he grumbled, and he didn’t even bother to look in your direction on his way out the door.

Later on at practice, there was an obscene amount of sweat in places where it shouldn’t be, and you were just about tired of Chan’s constant criticism.

For the entirety of your dance practice, Chan had taken every opportunity to berate your group members for even the most minor of mistakes, including your own.

“Y/N!” Chan barked, and you flinched at his harsh tone, sucking in deep breaths to satiate your demanding lungs. “We’ve been practicing this for weeks!”

It was the fifth time that he had stopped the song at the introduction of the chorus - the part where you were supposed to do a backflip into frame.

Apparently, Chan thought that your form was sloppy, and you bit your tongue to snap back at him. Obviously, he couldn’t seem to comprehend that you were hurting, and he was forcing everyone to endure hour after hour of constant movement.

“Get your head on straight!” Chan insisted, and for some peculiar reason, it wasn’t anger or frustration with Chan that had you pausing.

It was a far more heart-wrenching combination:

Sadness.

Bitterness.

Shame.

They bombarded you all at once, and you barely managed to swallow back the onset of tears before you were storming out of the practice room, ignoring Chan’s calls of your name.

It was instinctual for you to find refuge in the empty studio rooms on the top floor of your company building - where most people tended to avoid.

You could always find solace in the quiet between four walls, pressing down against the keys of the electric keyboard attached to the big, fancy computer monitor.

The same tedious note played over and over again, but it seemed like the perfect metaphor for your life at that moment.

Especially your relationship with Chan.

But the silence was never permanent, and you used the sleeve of your jacket to wipe away the fresh evidence of tears when you heard the door to the studio room opening.

You immediately turned around, heart-sinking in your chest when you realized that it was Changbin instead of Chan.

“Hey, Binnie,” you said, feeling his gaze on you as he entered the empty studio room.

“What happened earlier?” he asked, always blunt and straight to the point as he drug a chair closer to where you sat.

“Just frustration,” you said.

“With yourself?” Changbin asked, but his tone left much to be imagined, and you grinned at his astuteness.

“With Chan too.”

“Yeah,” Changbin nodded - like it made perfect sense. “I can tell.”

“He’s been preoccupied with the album,” you said. “I get that it’s more important than me.”

“Hey!” Changbin protested. “You know that’s not true.”

His soft and sympathetic tone almost made you start crying afresh. “He doesn’t have time for me anymore.”

Changbin was quiet, studying you intently. “Chan gets wrapped up in what he’s doing too easily. It’s like this zone for him, and nothing else is allowed in that zone except for music and lyrics.”

“So, there’s no space for me?”

“I think there should be,” Changbin countered. “And you need to tell him that.”

You sighed at the thought of confronting Chan after everything that had happened earlier. “I don’t know...”

“Be honest with him, Y/N,” Changbin said, and he reached out to squeeze your hand in reassurance. “Everyone knows that Chan loves you more than anything.”

“He has a funny way of showing it,” you scoffed.

“So tell him that,” Changbin said - like it could be so simple.

Or....maybe it was?

That night, you knocked on Chan’s bedroom door twice before entering at his gentle inquiry.

“Hey,” you said, hesitating in the doorway.

“Y/N,” Chan said, and you were surprised to see him close the laptop screen, patting the empty spot next to you on the mattress. “Come here.”

You swallowed hard, forcing your feet into gear as they brought you to his bedside. “I didn’t want to bother you-”

“You’re not,” Chan said, and his gaze was chastened as he sighed. “Changbin talked to me earlier...”

“Of course he did,” you grumbled, planting yourself next to him.

“Yeah...” Chan trailed off again. “I guess I owe you an apology.”

You frowned. “For what exactly? Seems like I’m the one who got in the way. Guess you haven’t really needed me these past few weeks.”

“Are you kidding, Y/N?” Chan frowned, leaning up to kiss you suddenly and unexpectedly. “Of course I always need you.”

You could barely contain your smile, pulling apart to sigh happily at his reassurance. “It’s just...I know we have the album, but I thought we could still do the little things like we used to.”

Chan nodded, gaze contemplative. “I’ve been ignoring you without even realizing it.”

You allowed your eyes to fall. “And in practice today...”

“That was uncalled for,” Chan interrupted. “I should’ve never raised my voice. The stress I’m feeling shouldn’t punish everyone else...especially you.”

His tone was earnest, and you could feel your shoulders dropping with every word. “Changbin was the one who said I should talk to you.”

“He was right,” Chan said, leaning in closer again. “You can always come to me, yeah?”

“I really didn’t feel like I could,” you admitted.

“Then that’s my fault,” Chan said. “It’s something I need to work on cuz’ we’re in this together, Y/N.

He smiled then. “You aren’t getting rid of me anytime soon.”

You giggled at his teasing. “I can’t help it that I like you so much.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Chan whispered, eyelids drooping when he watched you move your hand against his thigh, coming to rest at the interesting outline at the front of his sweatpants.

“I’ve also really needed you.”

“Are you gonna put me in my place, love?” Chan asked, and you hated the arrogant smirk taunting you just as much as your shameless act of groping his cock through the front of his pants.

“Yeah,” you grinned. “I can do that for you.”

It took less than a second for Chan to roll over top of you, grinning in a self-satisfied way as he slowly pulled your shorts and panties down your thighs.

You watched him with a contented groan as he threw them into the floor, parting your thighs to make room for him. Closing your eyes at the first swipe of his tongue against your slit, searching for a familiar mess of curls through a narrowed line. “I’ll make it all better, love,” Chan promised, and your fingers shot out to find purchase against his strong shoulders, arching your back at the promise of a night you couldn’t possibly forget.

#bang chan smut #bang chan fanfic #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #skz oneshots #skz fanfic #mostly competent

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streetlight11 · 3 years

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Daycare

Summary: He sends his daughter to a daycare centre during the day when he's busy working. He loves his daughter so much but is unable to give her full attention. However, the little girl understands. Just so happens, the little girl has grown really fond of one of her daycare teachers and she loves to tell her father about her. What happens when he meets his daughter's daycare teacher one day out of pure curiosity only to fall for her later?

Theme: Family, stranger(?) to lovers

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: IdolParent!Taehyung x DaycareTeacher!Reader

Word count: 4.4k

A/n: Hi, hello. I just get so soft when I see my favourite kpop boys interact with kids and I know Taehyung loves kids so I thought of writing this. Let me know if there’s any mistakes! Other than that, enjoy reading! :)

“Okay guys, you can take a break. We’ll resume in 15 minutes.” Their choreographer said as the 7 boys let out tired groans and sighs before collapsing to the ground. Taehyung took a few heavy breaths before making his way to the bags where he took his phone out to make a video call.

A few seconds later, a familiar high pitched voice ringed through his phone speaker as the little girl stepped in front of the front camera where her grandma was holding up the phone.

“Dada!”

“Hi my flower! How are you? Have you eaten?”

“Yes dada! Grandma made chicken soup today!” Just then, the rest of the boys came rushing to Taehyung’s side as they were all taking turns to say hello to the little girl.

“Ahh! Lily ahhh! Hello!” The boys said while the little girl giggled excitedly before waving to the camera.

“Omg so cute.” Namjoon commented, only for him and Hoseok to wriggle at how cute Lily was being.

Lily was Taehyung’s daughter. Yes, he and his ex-girlfriend was still young at the time when she accidentally conceived the little girl. However, Taehyung’s ex left the baby for Taehyung’s care, completely abandoning them. Taehyung of course didn’t have the heart to throw the baby away so he ended up taking care of her.

He got the help of his family to look after the kid while he was preparing to debut. At the time, nobody knew about this except for his family. It was after he debuted that his members and his CEO and soon after, the company staff members along with his manager found out about the child.

However, Taehyung wasn’t kicked out from the team. In fact, he was given the chance to continue his career but that would mean less time to spend with his daughter. Taehyung wanted to work hard and be successful in the future for himself and his family, that includes his daughter.

Hence, the reason why he stayed with the team.

It has been 9 years since her birth and now that Bangtan was doing quite well, Taehyung was able to support his family and his daughter.

“Dada! Dada!” She called, making the boys squeal at her cuteness.

“Yes my flower?”

“I’m going back to school tomorrow! I can’t wait to meet Miss Pretty!”

“Do you really call her that?”

“Yes!”

“And she’s fine with it?”

“Miss Pretty is very nice! She’s not like the other teachers.” Taehyung laughed, staring at his daughter with such loving eyes. But soon, his happy little time had to come to an end since practice was about to resume.

“Sweetheart, Dada has to go now okay? Say bye to your uncles.”

“Bye bye uncles! Bye bye Dada!”

“Bye Lily!” The boys said in unison before Taehyung blew her a kiss and she did the same. After he hung up the call, Yoongi spoke up.

“Who’s Miss Pretty?”

Taehyung just shrugged his shoulders indicating he doesn’t know.

“I only know she’s one of the daycare centre teachers where I send Lily to everyday but I’ve never met her before.”

“Lily seemed to really like this ‘Miss Pretty’ a lot.” Namjoon commented.

“She likes everyone.” Taehyung said before going back to the middle of the room.

“No she doesn’t. She told you she doesn’t like some of our female staff members, remember?” Namjoon said, causing the rest of them to laugh.

“Maybe because they didn’t really know how to handle her.”

“Hyung, she told me Shiyeon and Jaemi noona scared her.” Jungkook said, causing Taehyung to sigh.

“I guess it doesn’t matter.” Taehyung confessed.

A few days passed by, as usual, Taehyung couldn’t pick Lily up from school due to his late working hours so his manager went to pick her up at 630 in the evening. It was 10 minutes past 6 and some of the kids had gone home with their parents.

Lily was just sitting in one of the small tables, playing with a board game alone when (Y/N), one of the daycare centre teachers, who was also ‘Miss Pretty’ as what Lily likes to call her, came up to the little girl only to join her at her seat.

“Hi Lily.” (Y/N) said with a soft smile on her face.

“Hello Miss Pretty!” Lily said as she got out of her seat and went to wrap her arms around (Y/N)’s hips. (Y/N) giggled. Hugging the little girl back before they went to take a seat. They chatted for the next few minutes while they waited for her guardian to arrive.

“Lily, can I ask you something?”

“Mhm!”

“The man who picks you up everyday, is that your uncle?”

“Nope! He’s my Dada’s manager. Dada is a singer!”

“Oh? Really? Who is he?”

“He is in a group!”

(Y/N) stared at the little girl in awe as the girl began to hum to a song that she recognized. She knew it all too well. It was Run.

“You mean, Bangtan?”

“Yes! Hehe. Do you know my uncles and Dada?”

(Y/N) didn’t want the girl to be afraid or feel like she was going to expose her to the fans that she was a child to one of the members so she shook her head. Just then, the little girl told her to turn on a song by BTS on youtube because she wanted to show (Y/N) who her dad was. (Y/N) did just that, only to click on the most recent comeback they had a few months back with the song title ‘Black Swan’.

The video played but Lily never stopped it, just enjoying the music together with (Y/N) but then she suddenly clicked pause when one of the members got a close up shot and she immediately smiled while eagerly pointing to the screen.

“Dada! That’s him!”

With that, (Y/N) took a good look, only to realize that it was Taehyung. Who happens to also be her favourite member. (Y/N) wasn’t disappointed that he has a child. Instead, she was happy that he never gave up and continued to persevere for his daughter.

“This is your dad?”

“Yeap! He is awesome isn’t he?” The little girl giggled.

“Yeah. He is.” (Y/N) replied with a smile when a familiar voice calls out to Lily from the class door.

“Uncle Sejinie!” Lily said as the man smiled to both (Y/N) and Lily.

(Y/N) returned the gesture, walking Lily to him. Once they were at the door, Lily went ahead to put on her shoe when the man said to the little girl.

“Lily ah, your father wants me to bring you to the company building. He wants to see you.” With that, she began to jump up and down excitedly while holding onto (Y/N)’s hands. The man glanced at their locked hands and frowned.

“But your teacher won’t be coming with us.”

Lily pouted sadly only to ask why, her voice laced with sadness. (Y/N) looked at the man and he was visibly feeling bad but she completely understood why.

“Lily, sweetheart, listen to me okay? I have no special connections with your dad so I can’t go in there. But you’ll still see me here everyday? Right?” (Y/N) tried to talk some sense into the little girl as Lily began to tear.

“B-But, I want you to meet Dada…”

“Next time okay sweetie?” (Y/N) said, only for Lily to nod. She gave (Y/N) a warm hug before waving goodbye to her.

The two of them soon left the centre while (Y/N) quickly packed her things and went to tidy the class a little before heading home. After she locked the centre, she slowly walked towards her car. She got in and soon drove off. But her mind drifted back to earlier.

“Is Taehyung a single dad then? Where is Lily’s mother? I feel so bad that she grew up without a mother figure…” These questions floated in her head as she drove back to her apartment.

But this didn’t make her look down on him. He was still human and humans make mistakes. No doubt, even though she found him to be the most charming and cutest member of Bangtan, she just couldn’t help but wonder just how adorable he would be with his daughter. She would probably melt if she saw how he is with Lily.

That same evening, Taehyung’s manager and Lily soon arrived at the Bighit building as his manager led her up to the 9th floor of the building.

He showed her which room they were in, only for her to run while the man held her bag for her. Lily reached for the door handle with a little jump. She pulled the door handle down and soon pushed the door open. The guys were just scattered around the room, practicing for the upcoming comeback in a few months.

“Dada!” Lily’s voice echoed in the room. She ran to Taehyung in a heartbeat. His face immediately lit up upon seeing his daughter, easily scooping her off the ground.

“My flower! Omg you’re here!” Taehyung said as he kissed her on her soft cheeks and also on her tiny lips, making the girl giggle.

The rest of them began to huddle around the parent and child as they took turns to greet the little girl. They ended up being distracted by her for a while but she listened to her father when he told her to wait quietly at the couch until he ended practice and she did exactly that.

She even fell asleep with Taehyung’s phone in her small hands while waiting for him. Taehyung took her to his dorm as she slept over there for the night since it was a weekend the next day and the guys were having two days off.

During the weekend, Lily couldn’t stop talking about (Y/N) even though she still calls her ‘Miss Pretty’ when talking to her dad about her.

Taehyung has been hearing all these nice stories of this teacher of Lily so he figured, maybe it was time to meet the person who has been taking very good care of his daughter when he’s busy working everyday and night. It was a Wednesday evening and Lily was just talking to (Y/N) at one of the tables as usual while waiting for her guardian to pick her up.

Just when she was about to tickle Lily for stealing her markers, a deep raspy voice spoke up from the entrance. A sense of familiarity to the voice lingers in her ear for a little too long.

(Y/N) glanced over to the door, only to see a young man standing there with a white mask over his nose and mouth but his eyes were too familiar for her not to recognize.

“Lily ah, Dada’s here.”

That’s when Taehyung finally locks eyes with (Y/N), only then he realizes how true his daughter described her to be. She was a lot cuter than he imagined with the genuine smile on her face as she joked around with his daughter.

With that being said, Lily gasped, running straight to Taehyung. (Y/N) watched as he scooped the little girl up swiftly, nuzzling his face in her small neck. (Y/N) giggled softly at the cute interaction between a father and a daughter. Once she was standing in front of the idol, she suddenly felt nervous and shy, in which he seemed to notice.

“Hi, you must be Lily’s dad. You can call me (Y/N), I’m Lily’s class teacher.” (Y/N) said, holding her hand out. Only for him to smile behind the mask. Taehyung took her hand in his and shook it gently before he introduced himself.

“Hi (Y/N), I’m Taehyung. Thanks for taking such good care of my little flower.” He said, only for him to feel a slight electric shock when their skins made contact for a little too long. They both pulled away sharply but then apologized. Just then, Lily spoke up.

“Yay! Does that mean Miss Pretty can see Dada more now?”

With that, (Y/N) choked on her own saliva while Taehyung’s eyes grew wide in shock.

“Lily…”

“Oh Dada, come on! I like Miss Pretty. Don’t you?” Her question came to them by surprise when he locked eyes with (Y/N) for a while but then a small smile appeared on his lips.

“I do, baby. Now enough of chatting. Let’s go. We wouldn’t want to hold Miss Pretty back from her rest now do we?” Taehyung said while Lily shook her head. However, (Y/N) was flustered when he used the nickname Lily gave her instead of her name. Taehyung flashed her a shy smile as he soon asked if she had a ride home. When she told him she drove there, he nodded.

“Alright then. Drive safely. Thank you again for everything you’ve done for Lily.”

“It’s my pleasure, Taehyung. Goodnight, and I’ll see you tomorrow pretty flower.” (Y/N) said. Tapping Lily’s nose, making the girl giggle. Only for the little girl to bury her face in Taehyung’s neck.

The next day, (Y/N) didn’t expect to see Taehyung again in the evening as he took his time to fetch Lily from the daycare centre although he was in the middle of practice. Slowly, this became a routine for him to come pick Lily up from school. At first his member’s were confused as to why he was suddenly eager to fetch his daughter almost everyday. But after a while, they knew exactly why.

Taehyung wanted to see (Y/N).

This went on for a few weeks with the both of them already exchanged numbers and he would sometimes video call her during lunch just so he could talk to Lily, and maybe (Y/N) too. The members have spoken to (Y/N) a few times before and some of them have even met her in person. All of them seemed to like her as a person.

However, it was Taehyung’s birthday today and the boys had to work. Taehyung apologized to (Y/N) through text saying that he probably couldn’t come and fetch Lily due to his busy schedule but she told him it was fine.

Little did he know, the boys had planned something to surprise the single father.

(Y/N) and Lily went to go get a small cake for Taehyung before heading to the company building. Once they managed to get in with the help of their manager, he brought them to the level where they were at.

(Y/N) prepared the cake and candles as she hid outside the practice room door while Lily hid on the opposite side of (Y/N). She texted Yoongi to get Taehyung out of the room and soon, when the door opened with a clueless Taehyung stepping out to leave, Lily and (Y/N) came out front to surprise him. The poor male jumped back in shock as he clutched to his chest.

Everyone began to sing for him the happy birthday song as they gathered around the door. A smile crept onto his face but he was still confused to see them there.

“Happy Birthday Dada!” Lily said after they finished singing for him while Taehyung glanced back and forth between the adult and the kid.

“Happy Birthday Taehyung.” (Y/N) wished as she held the cake in front of him.

“Make a wish.” She said, only for Taehyung to listen.

He closed his eyes and soon made a wish in his head before blowing the candles out. Everyone cheered before re-entering the room to celebrate briefly. They were all having bite after bite of the cake, only for Jungkook to whisper to Hoseok quietly while (Y/N) was talking to Seokjin and Yoongi.

“Wah hyung, she’s really pretty. She’d make such a cute couple with V hyung.”

“I agree. Plus, she’s already won Lily’s heart. It makes her one step closer to being Lily’s mother figure.” Hoseok said, seeing her giggle at Seokjin’s comment about her having to be stuck with Taehyung of all people. Their break time was about to end when (Y/N) spoke up, catching the attention of everyone else.

“I’m really thankful I got to be here and celebrate your birthday. Who would’ve thought I would be sitting here with a famous artist group huh?” They laughed at her words, telling her that they were happy she could feel even the slightest bit comfortable being with them as a normal person and not as an idol with a fan.

Just then, she took this chance to continue.

“Even so, I shouldn’t be here for too long. I don’t want people to get the wrong information.” This caused the boys to look at her in shock while some frowned.

“What do you mean? You’re leaving already?” Taehyung asks suddenly from beside her as she locks eyes with him. She found it hard to answer him so he continued.

“Stay… please.” His words were soft and almost as if he meant every bit of it without any hesitance in it.

“But-”

“I know you’re worried about our fans and the media, but I promise you’ll be safe.” His words brought so much comfort to her but for some reason, she was still afraid. So for the first time, Taehyung reached down to place a hand on top of her own that was resting in her lap while he gently caressed it with his thumb.

“Please stay (Y/N).” The room fell silent, the boys glancing back and forth between the two expectantly.

She didn’t feel right to reject him with how gentle he was being so she decided to give in.

“Okay…”

With that being said, the members smiled in victory as they soon cleaned up the place before going back to practice. As promised, (Y/N) stayed longer while the boys practiced their upcoming song. (Y/N) was just sitting with Lily at the couch, entertaining the little girl by watching a cartoon with her. Halfway through the cartoon, Lily began to yawn as (Y/N) turned to her in concern.

“Are you sleepy?” She asked, her voice slightly louder so she could hear past the music playing in the room.

Lily nodded as she turned to (Y/N) with her arms out. It was out instinct that (Y/N) immediately got up and rested her hands on Lily’s underarms before lifting her up. She puts Lily on her waist as the little girl wraps her arms around (Y/N)’s shoulders. Lily pressed her cheek on top of (Y/N)’s shoulder with (Y/N) supporting the girl by resting her arms under the girl’s thighs.

The boys were still focused on dancing when Taehyung noticed (Y/N) carrying Lily through the reflection.

She was swaying from side to side, gently patting Lily’s back to lull her to sleep. Since it was pretty noisy in the room, (Y/N) decided to bring Lily outside so that the little girl could sleep in peace. All the while, Taehyung watched as (Y/N) carried Lily out of the room quietly without interrupting the boys.

A few of the members noticed this too but they weren’t as focused as Taehyung. Almost an hour later, they decided to call it a day as they began to take a short rest while packing their stuff.

“They’re not back yet?” Taehyung asked when he realized (Y/N) and Lily weren’t in the room. The boys shook their heads, only for Taehyung to leave the practice room in search of his two precious gems. Only to find (Y/N) standing at the very end of the hallway, softly humming to a song.

Taehyung lightly jogged towards her as she turned around upon hearing his footsteps.

“We’re done with practice. Did you drive here?” He asked.

“Mhm.” The room fell silent for a bit before he spoke up.

“I really mean what I said earlier.” She looked at him in slight confusion before he explained himself.

“You don’t have to worry about anyone. I promise you’ll be safe. I’ll keep you safe.”

With that, she smiled as she reached up to cup his face, making him lean into her touch.

Both of them have yet to confess their honest feelings for each other but it was pretty obvious that they liked each other. However, because of his profession, it would be slightly hard for him to actually be open about being in a relationship with someone even though he wants to be in one with her.

But that didn’t stop them from being honest and true to one another while nobody else was looking. With that, Taehyung gently wraps his fingers around her wrist as he caresses her hand softly before he speaks up.

“I know this is a little much to ask, but is it okay if you let Lily stay at your place tonight, I have a busy schedule all day tomorrow and I can't put her at the daycare since it’s a weekend. My parents are out of town at the moment too.”

“Yeah sure. No problem Taehyung.” She said with a genuine smile.

“Thank you so much (Y/N). I’ll come pick her up after my schedule is over.”

“No worries Taehyung. Just give me a call before you come okay?”

“Okay.” With that, the 9 of them soon left the building as she took Lily with her.

A few weeks passed and both (Y/N) and Taehyung have been showing more and more intimacy but without any PDA. Whenever the boys were at their dorm, they would often ask when Taehyung would ask her out or make it official but it seems like he has too many things on his mind. But they didn’t rush him into things so that was good. Today however, was a little different.

(Y/N) got a text from Hoseok asking her to come to the company building saying that Taehyung injured himself during the practice and nobody was around to take care of Lily. With that being said, she quickly rushed over to the company. Once she arrived, she went to find the room.

The minute she pushed the door open, she was met with a very cute setting where there was a foldable table with a laptop, a picnic basket on top of the pretty blanket covers. She got confused as she stared at it for a second, only for someone to cover her eyes from behind. She gasped as she jumped back, crashing into a firm chest.

“What are yo-”

“Shh, it’s just me.” Taehyung’s voice resonated in her ear as she couldn’t help but giggle.

He guided her inside not before closing the door and lock it. After they were inside, she turned to him and faked a hurt expression.

“Hoseok told me you got injured. Why would you guys lie about that? I was so worried for you!” She said as he chuckled, finding her super adorable. Taehyung took her hand and led her to the layout where the picnic blanket was laid. They soon took a seat before he then spoke up.

“I know this isn’t a perfect first date, but I knew you’d feel uncomfortable if we were out in public because you know, with all the public eye and media…” With that, she looked at him. A tint of pink crept onto her cheeks.

“A d-date?”

“Oh, yeah, forgot to properly ask you out. Unless you don’t want this to be a date, I’m totally fine with it! You don’t have to-”

“It’s okay… I- I want this to be a date.” She confessed, making him smile as they soon continued with their indoor picnic date. Where they watched a movie in the dark while they cuddled on the blanket. Halfway through, she was feeling slightly cold since she only wore a crop top and jeans. Taehyung gave her his jacket but she was still cold so he offered to keep her warm.

She got flustered at first but then she decided to just go with it due to coldness.

Hence the reason why she was now snuggled in between his legs, her back resting against his chest while he had his arms around her body.

She slowly got distracted by him drawing lazy patterns onto her waist. Her head was just below his chin so if she tilted her head up to look at him, their faces wouldn’t be too far from each other. Just then, she gently rests her cold hands on top of his forearms, making him look down. That’s when she decided to be brave and look up.

Taehyung stared at her with a gentle smile on his face, glancing down to his lips. Her heart was beating so fast against her chest, she could almost feel as though he could hear it. Taehyung slowly leaned down, testing the waters to see if she would pull away.

When she didn’t move, that’s when he finally pressed his soft lips on hers. She closed her eyes in bliss as she reached up to cup his face. Taehyung pulled away with a soft sound before kissing her again. He was getting drunk in her lips when she turned her body slightly so that she wasn’t lying in an awkward position. Taehyung kissed her passionately before pulling away for the second time.

They left their faces so close to each other to let their lips graze against one another.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to be the mother figure of my daughter.” Taehyung whispered as he locked eyes with her again. She smiled as she sneaked a kiss before she spoke up.

“I love that girl with all my heart, and you too.” Taehyung chuckled shyly as he kissed her again, the movie long forgotten by now.

#bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fluff #v scenarios #kim taehyung scenario #taehyung fluff #taehyung imagine #taehyung x reader #bts taehyung

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stereostevie · 3 years

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When you think of grunge, do you picture a bunch of long-haired White guys in plaid shirts, singing about teenage angst and self-loathing? Time to expand that viewpoint. Standing above them all should be Tina Bell, a tiny Black woman with an outsized stage presence, and her band, Bam Bam. It’s only recently that the 1980s phenom has begun to be recognized as a godmother of grunge.

This modern genre’s sound was, in many ways, molded by a Black woman. The reason she is mostly unknown has everything to do with racism and misogyny. Looking back at the beginnings of grunge, with the preconception that “everybody involved” was White and/or male, means ignoring the Black woman who was standing at the front of the line.

Bam Bam was formed as a punk band in 1983 in Seattle. Bell, a petite brown-skinned spitfire with more hairstyle changes than David Bowie, sang lead vocals and wrote most of the lyrics. Her then-husband Tommy Martin was on guitars (the band’s name is an acronym of their last names: Bell And Martin), Scotty “Buttocks” Ledgerwood played bass, and Matt Cameron was on drums. Cameron would leave the band in its first year and go on to fame as the drummer for Soundgarden and Pearl Jam. But he paid homage to his beginnings by wearing a Tina Bell T-shirt in a photoshoot for Pearl Jam’s 2017 Anthology: the Complete Scores book.

“For some reason a couple of skinheads are up front, calling her [the N-word] And all of the sudden, Bell grabs a microphone stand and she starts swirling it around her head like a lasso… She swung that fuckin’ thing around her head and about the fourth time, she smashed that son of a bitch.”

Bam Bam’s sound straddled the line between punk and something so new that it didn’t have a name yet. Their music combined a driving, thrumming bass line; downtuned, sludgy guitars; thrashy, pulsing drums; melodic vocals that range from sultry to haunting to screamy; and lyrics about the existential tension of trying to exist in a world not designed for you. The band’s 1984 music video for their single “Ground Zero” is low-budget, but Bell’s charisma seeps through.

“She was fucking badass. That’s all there is to it. She was amazing as a performer. I’ve only seen one White male lead singer command the stage in a similar way that Tina Bell did, and that was Bon Scott of AC/DC,” says Om Johari, who attended Bam Bam shows as a Black teenager in the ’80s and who would go on to lead all-female AC/DC cover band Hell’s Belles.

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Christina King, a Seattle scenester who was close friends with Bell from 1984 until the early ’90s, says the singer’s talent was obvious. But she believes a lot of people dismissed Bell as a gimmick.

Among those attending their shows: Future members of grunge bands like Nirvana (Kurt Cobain did a stint as a Bam Bam roadie), Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam.

“I remember one person saying to me that they didn’t get ‘the whole Black girl singer thing,’ it just didn’t fit whatever they were into,” says King. “They were too ahead of their time.”

Bam Bam came into being in an era when hundreds of underground clubs, taverns, bars, and social halls — anywhere that you could cram in a band — were within the Seattle city limits. Bam Bam played almost all of them, and often to big crowds: The Colourbox, Crocodile Lounge, Gorilla Gardens, Squid Row — just to name a few.

Among those attending their shows: Future members of history-making grunge bands like Nirvana (Kurt Cobain did a stint as a Bam Bam roadie), Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam. Not to mention all the other people, mostly White and male, who would become prime targets for music labels trying to market this new sound.

Bell “already possessed everything they were trying to attain. She had a truer rock and roll spirit than almost any of those guys in that town. Everything they tried to do, she naturally was,” says Ledgerwood, still a loyal bandmate.

One Seattle club, The Metropolis, became “like our fucking living room,” says Ledgerwood. It was also the site of an overtly racist verbal assault against Tina Bell.

“For some reason a couple of skinheads are up front, calling her [the N-word],” Ledgerwood recalls. “And all of the sudden, Bell grabs a microphone stand and she starts swirling it around her head like a lasso… She swung that fuckin’ thing around her head and about the fourth time, she smashed that son of a bitch… She nailed that fucker right in the temple of his head. Split like a melon. And the other guy next to him caught it too, they go down, and we’re like, ‘What the fuck?’”

Ledgerwood says that after going backstage for a while to regroup, Bell came back “and put out the most blistering set of our fucking career.”

This could easily be an anecdote about Bell’s power, her resilience, and willingness to fight back against oppressive forces. But it’s also a story about the cost of being a Black woman who does something that some people don’t expect or approve of.

“She’s being pulled out of her zone because somebody is acknowledging how the rest of the world can see her,” says Johari, empathizing with the star rocker. “And even to react to it by picking up a microphone and smashing someone in the face, that means that that incident cost her not only that moment it takes to get back into the song, but the whole [effects of her] action will last for weeks.

“She’ll replay that over and over and over and over again. And then the people she sees that were there when it happened, they’re gonna come up to her and they’re gonna forget everything that she’s saying, all the stuff that she had did, and they’re only going to focus on, ‘I was at that show where you knocked a dude in the head for calling you an N-word,’” Johari says. “It has nothing to do with her artistry. But it reminds her of the way in which she has to be prepared, just in case it happens again.”

King remembers Bell also felt that some of the other men in the band’s changing lineup failed to treat her as an equal partner: “She’s getting that from her own band members — what do you think audience people are like?”

A European tour in the late ’80s gained Bam Bam international fans, but ended after Bell and Martin split up, and Bell was caught in an immigration enforcement dragnet in the Netherlands.

When they returned to the Pacific Northwest, Bam Bam continued playing shows until 1990, when Bell abruptly quit as they were packing up to head to the studio in Portland, Ore.

“She had just had enough,” Ledgerwood says. “For almost eight years she had almost literally eviscerated herself for the audience.”

But that work never resulted in the national recognition they deserved.

“Grunge, whatever that means, is being identified as from your community, your colleagues, your sound that you were a participant in help shaping, and you’re not even mentioned in any of it.”

“Sometimes you need to be a little bit of an asshole to protect yourself. And Bell wasn’t much of an asshole,” Ledgerwood adds. “She was a pure-hearted person and had a really hard time believing that people couldn’t accept her over something as stupid as race.”

Bell didn’t just quit the band, she withdrew from music completely, says her son, Oscar-winning documentary filmmaker TJ Martin. Not out of resentment, he adds, but perhaps to escape the painful reminders that the music she helped pioneer was now earning other bands multimillion-dollar record contracts.

“Grunge, whatever that means, is being identified as from your community, your colleagues, your sound that you were a participant in help shaping, and you’re not even mentioned in any of it,” Martin says. “I can’t even fathom what that would feel like for it to be sort of spit back in your face with such frequency.”

Ledgerwood believes Bell died of a broken heart. But when Bell died alone in her Las Vegas apartment in 2012, the official cause of death listed was cirrhosis of the liver. She had struggled with alcohol and depression. Her son says the coroner estimated her time of death as a couple weeks before her body was discovered. She was 55 years old.

The things that could have told Tina Bell’s story in her own voice are lost. Martin arrived in Las Vegas to find that the contents of his mother’s apartment — except for a DVD player, a poster, and a chair — had been thrown away. All of her writings — lyrics, poems, diaries — along with Bam Bam music, videos, and other memorabilia — went in the trash without her family even being notified.

If you think you were in Seattle in the ’80s, in the grunge scene, and you don’t remember Tina Bell and Bam Bam, you probably weren’t really fucking there.

“I couldn’t help draw a parallel between her not being respected and seen in the first chapter of her life, as the front person of a punk band, and then even in death being disrespected and not being seen for the merits of the life she lived,” says Martin.

Bell’s death is also an indictment of the way she was written out of her own story. The way grunge’s almighty gatekeepers chose to look through her instead of at her. Grunge became the domain of alienated young White men in flannel shirts, and Tina Bell didn’t fit the narrative they were trying to sell.

“Black herstory can suffer immense amounts of erasure if somebody is not brave enough to ensure that women get counted,” Johari says.

To many of those who were part of the scene at the time, the amnesia seems intentional. Ledgerwood brings up the seminal history of Seattle’s grunge era, Everybody Loves Our Town. In it, the author refers to Bam Bam as a three-piece instrumental band mainly notable because Matt Cameron was the drummer. Tina Bell isn’t even mentioned.

“How in the hell would he have a recollection of how great Bam Bam and its drummer was, and not this unbelievably beautiful woman, this firecracker, this explosive rock and roll goddess?” Ledgerwood asks. “Even if he thought she sucked, to not remember the only Black woman on the whole fuckin’ scene is — well, it’s like that old joke about the ’60s: If you think you were in Seattle in the ’80s, in the grunge scene, and you don’t remember Tina Bell and Bam Bam, you probably weren’t really fucking there.”

You can listen to more of Bam Bam’s music on this Spotify playlist. A vinyl album with the band’s songs is coming out this year on Bric-a-Brac Records.

#Alice in Chains #Bam Bam #black history #black women #black women in rock #grunge #Kurt Cobain #music #Nirvana #Pearl Jam #rock #Seattle #Soundgarden #Tina Bell #women in rock #women's history #80s

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hannie-dul-set · 3 years

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→ stuck on you (like a spotlight). PREVIEW.

LOVE U LIKE A LIGHTSHOW collection.

SUMMARY. star crossed lovers— but cross out the lovers, because he doesn’t even know you. yet even when he doesn’t know your name, your face, you couldn’t stop the gravity of being pulled back into the constant motion of you finding your attention stuck on him, like the spotlight shining above his head on the stage where you’ve always seen him.

PAIRING. huang renjun x female! reader GENRE. strangers to lovers! au, high school! au, rival schools! au, singer renjun & public speaker mc, school competitions, PINING, romance, fluff, humor, mild angst, featuring idols from other groups (also let’s pretend hyunjin & felix are from sme and not jyp for the sake of plot) WARNINGS. lots of swearing, anxiety, depictions of an extremely unhealthy school culture of competitiveness, the use of too many metaphors LMAO WORD COUNT. actual fic: around 10k, preview: 818 RELEASE DATE. late february TAGLIST. @danishmiilk @wownajaemin @leejunini @astroboy-lele @unkown5tar @w0nni3wrld @charm-art @bingbingbish @sehunniepot @pretty-junjun @elcie-chxn @khcnehle @kthpurplesyou @lcvemark @sweetlyjaem @peachyyjaes @tteok-bokkies @bat-shark-repellant @lebrookestore @lenaluvs @nct-writers @czennienet @neowritingsnet @kpopscape (ask/dm to be tagged!)

NOTE. first out of the four and i’m super excited! also do not be fooled by the preview, this is not a skz fic HAHSGFJ this is perhaps the less true to life accurate out of all of the fics in the collection, and if you could relate to our darling mc in this, then my heart is out for you <//3 hang in there, buddy JSGJS.

preview under the cut!

“Oh, Y/N.”

When Hyunjin had too much energy to release, he only had only one victim to release it on.

You.

“You must be really excited now that sports season is almost over. Next week is a big week for you, after all. I can only imagine how thrilled you are—”

A big week for you, sure. But thrilled and excited? Not so much. There was nothing thrilling and exciting about your upcoming competition. You couldn’t put a finger on what he was babbling about.

Of course, that was until the next words made their way into your ears, and you were this close to headbutting him.

“—thrilled to finally see your crush again after a whole ass year.”

You could only retort with one thing.

“Eat a horseshoe, Hwang.”

Hyunjin let out a tiny whine when you jerked your head back, hitting him right on the chin which caused the other three boys to laugh at your friend’s pain. He finally stopped strangling you with both of his arms, opting to nurse the injury that you’d inflicted instead. You didn’t even hit him that hard, yet he looked as if you’d just skinned his dog alive in front of a live audience. “C’mon, when was the last time you’ve seen him? Isn’t your heart just dying to catch a glimpse of your fairy boy after all this time?”

“Please, stop talking. You’re putting me in a position here,” you hissed, smacking his arm. “I’m already getting dirty stares from my schoolmates for ‘fraternizing with the enemy’, or some shit. Don’t make it worse.”

Your last assault on him finally forced him into silence because Hyunjin didn’t bother pushing your buttons anymore, and was instead more focused on shooting you glares and grumbles. That didn’t mean you were safe, though.

“Liar,” Jisung clicked his tongue. Oh, how you wanted to pelt him in the eye with your grape juice box. He was sitting two levels below you. The perfect height. “You’ve never been bothered about that, little miss. You can’t hide your gushy wushy embarrassment from us.”

“The guy’s not here anyway— his coach skewed him away before he could even enter the bus. Maybe you’d only get a glimpse of him next week,” Felix joined in, looking at you as he spoke with earnestness, but diverted his attention to the person on your other side. “Seungminnie, looks like you’re competing with him again.”

Seungmin simply shrugged. “What a surprise.”

While this week and last week were focused more on the sports events, next week would focus on solo competitions— quiz bees (reminder to pay respects to the half-dead contestants), public speaking (reminder to not become part of the half-dead, yourself), and of course—

Singing.

Reminder to not lose your shit at the event.

Jisung let out a long, remorseful sigh, eyes closed with a hand falling above his forehead, and all. “Oh, to be torn between supporting a friend and a not-even-friend-so-definitely-not-a-lover for the full support of your heart,” he opened one eye to look at you. “Though it is evident where your heart rests, madam. I admire your persistence even at the face of a brick wall.”

“Shut it,” you groaned. God, they were really reeling out a violent side from you today. “It’s not like I’m hoping for anything more, anyway.”

“That’s because you’ve never tried to turn into something more, Y/N,” even Seungmin was joining the shit on Y/N like a bunch of laxative high pigeons party, now. “Last time you went to their school and chickened out the moment you spotted him.”

“Holy shit, that was hilarious,” Hyunjin chimed it with a cackle. “I was shocked to see her— even more so when she said she was there to treat us to dinner. Her? Treating us to dinner? I thought she finally had a change of heart but oh, if only I knew back then.”

Felix let out an uncontrollable burst of laughter, to which he quickly suppressed in guilt after seeing your look of utter betrayal. Seungmin decided to brush over that topic for your sake. “You know, it’d be easy to set you two up with these two gremlins creeping around.”

A grimace crept onto your face at the referral to the two gremlins— Felix, maybe you could trust. He was smiling at you and nodding so cutely that you might actually take up on the offer, expression softening (blatant lie). But then your gaze darted over Hyunjin and it felt like looking at his shit eating grin alone was analogous to feasting on an entire freaking lemon.

“No, thank you,” you deadpanned, looking away. An offended gasp, and you didn’t even have to look to know from whom it came from. “And like I said— I’m fine with the distance.”

You sipped on your near-forgotten grape juice, now slightly warm and disgusting, and you glowered.

“It’s fine.”

#NCT-WRITERS #cznnet #neowritingsnet #kpopscape #nct x reader #nct scenarios #huang renjun x reader #renjun x reader #huang renjun scenarios #renjun scenarios #nct dream x reader #nct dream scenarios #nct fluff #renjun fluff #huang renjun fluff #nct dream fluff #nct smut #series: love u like a lightshow

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creativeashproductions · 3 years

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Banjo Riff // Platonic!Reggie Peters

IN WHICH: Luke rejects Reggie’s ideas for country music one too many times leading to the friendship fracturing and putting the bands future in question. Luke, with the help of his girlfriend the reader and his friends scramble to make it up to the bassist.

Warnings: Swearing, hurt!Reggie, Luke being an ass, fighting, angst, and fluff

Words: 3.2k

A/N: This idea has been sitting in my notes for MONTHS now. Song referenced is Lay Here With Me by Maddie & Tae (featuring Dierks Bentley)

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

If there was one thing Sunset Curve, then later Julie and the Phantoms would rely on, it was the battle between Luke and Reggie. Since the conception of a band between the friends, Reggie had always wanted to play a country song. He had learned how to play the banjo in preparation, but Luke rejected both the idea and songs as always.

"You said our sound was vintage '80s and '90s rock music Luke. The band evolved into a pop-rock sound-"

"Because our band changed from Sunset Curve to Julie and the Phantoms. I love you, man, but there's no way we're going country." Luke finally snapped with a heated glare on his face. Luke didn't mean to snap so severely, but it happened.

Luke watched as Reggie's face completely dropped into the kicked puppy expression that tore everyone apart. Instead of making light of the conversation, Reggie mutely nodded in response before turning to grab his bass for the band practice. Luke's stomach dropped at the rather odd behaviour, but Luke blamed his response on his current writers' block.

"Let's start with Flying Solo." Luke proclaimed, hoping Reggie's favourite song would cheer him up. Alex's curious gaze bounced between the two other males in the band just as Julie wandered into the garage.

Before Julie could even question the tension, Reggie had started the beat on the pad stationed on the keyboard. The young female immediately jumped into the first rehearsal song with ease. Every attempt Julie was about to question Reggie's uncharacteristic quiet, the bassist started a different song.

"What's his problem?" Julie questioned as Reggie packed up his stuff and practically sprinted out of the studio. He'd rejected the offer of a pizza movie night.

"Luke here decided to be an asshole again." Alex's tone of voice was sugary sweet in comparison to the glare he sent his guitarist.

Luke flinched at the furious expression on his bandmate's face. It wasn't a secret Julie and Reggie gravitated to each other in sibling bond. The two had been friends since infancy through their parents; Julie was there when the Peters started fighting. Reggie was there when Julie's mom passed away.

"Don't kill me!" Luke pleaded, scrambling around the piano from the intimidating Puerto Rican who had a solid punch. Julie's anger faltered at the guilt on the boy's face, "I was frustrated, and I shouldn't have taken it out on him!"

"What did Reggie do to deserve it?" Julie asked from the other side of the piano, acting as a barrier between the teenagers.

"He asked about the band doing a country song," Luke admitted with a grimace. His hazel eyes dimmed once more.

"What is your issue with country music? Your girlfriend is literally a country singer Luke!" Alex cried, stepping in between the two feuding bandmates.

Rock n' Roll Luke Patterson had been dating a well-known country singer for close to two years now. Luke had always been adamant that country wasn't all it was cracked up to be, but if you looked in the false bottom of the console in his car, you'd see a different story. Beneath the Eagles, Nirvana, AC/DC, and Gun N' Roses CDs, you'd find countless CDs of his girlfriend. He even had a playlist with a name that concealed the music in it.

Luke was a secret country fan, but he'd take that to his grave before he let anyone other than you know that.

"I don't have an issue! I don't think our band would benefit from branching into that music genre!" Luke argued with his bare arms crossing over his chest. Both Julie and Alex were about to respond when the studio gained another inhabitant.

"Would anyone like to explain why Reggie stormed into my house holding his songbook? He literally dropped it in my garage and tried to light it on fire?" You asked from the double doors with said book in your hand.

All three out of four members of Julie and the Phantoms recognized the book with a country landscape. The sight caused all their stomachs to drop at the obvious symbol of Reggie's hurt feelings.

"Funny story-"

"Luke Patterson...did you hurt his feelings about his love of country?" You asked through clenched teeth. Your response was Luke wincing at the anger blistering in your tone, "Did you ever think that country music is his comfort music? Fix this, Luke. Reggie, of all people, doesn't deserve your frustration."

You turned on your heel with Julie following in the attempt to find the forlorn bassist, most likely being hard on himself. You checked the beach house Reggie's dad had gotten in the divorce to no success. The school auditorium was empty, and so was the stable where Reggie worked part-time for the horses. You had returned back to Julie's house to sit on the porch to brainstorm.

"Isn't this the week he's with his mom?" Julie questioned with a furrowed brow. You could only shrug as Julie pulled up the calendar she shared with Flynn.

Reggie's parents had somewhat amicably divorced two years ago after attempts of reconciliation through therapy. Reggie had sat down with them to tell them how he felt with them fighting, if you recalled. They decided to do a trial separation for a few months and, in the end, had mutually agreed to divorce.

"I think Mr. Peters is taking care of his mother in a different state. She broke her hip, and now she's being moved into a retirement home." You offered the girl the encapsulated sunshine in just her smile.

"I suppose we'll try the Carter-Peters home." Julie breathed, bouncing on her feet to your car parked in front of her house. Julie's fingers tapped the screen in a chat thread she hadn't touched for months.

Your keen eyes easily read Carrie Wilson's name at the top of the thread that had been dormant since the end of their friendship. Apparently, Julie received little help in the frustrated sigh she released and the increasingly violent tapping of her screen.

"As usual, Carrie is no help," Julie announced with disgust in her voice. She squeezed the hand you placed on her knee before your hand returned to the wheel.

"One day, you'll have to tell me what happened between the two of you."

"Old news. Happened just before you moved back from Nashville." Julie once more avoided talking about the issues.

It was the same response every time you questioned the friendship that had fractured in the few years you'd been in Nashville. Before you left, Carrie and Julie had been attached at the hip, and when you came back, they were at each other's throats. Well, mostly Carrie was because Julie had too big of a heart to stand up to her former friend.

"Well, the beat-up van is still there." Julie caught the van, more of an eyesore, to be honest, sitting in the three-car driveway. The van was shared between Reggie and Flynn as a joint gift from their parents when Reggie's mom moved in with Flynn and her father.

"We both know Reggie-"

"Would walk to work through his problems. The number of times I've found in walking downtown…" Julie trailed with a shake of her half up half down hairstyle she left uncovered by a hat. Another symbol of her finding herself outside the grief that had concealed her.

"Oh, thank god." Flynn moaned from the front porch with her headphones resting on her shoulders instead of her ears, "He's been playing his old bass that makes that odd high pitch squeak noise. I couldn't take it. Get him out!"

You opened and closed your mouth with the inability to find the words, but Flynn knew already, "Doors unlocked. He's in his room."

"Thanks." You informed the fashionable teenager before brushing passed into the house. Not much had changed since Reggie had moved part-time into the house; his parents shared custody.

Flynn was right; the sound of that screech was like a bread trail to the last bedroom in the hallway to the left. The door opened a smidge to reveal Reggie sitting in the dim room with just his bedside lamp on. He was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Reggie." You breathed from leaning against the door jam, "I'm not sure what Luke said but don't give up on writing. Your songs mean something, Reginald."

"Then why doesn't Luke even read my lyrics? He barely read the title of my last one before tossing it aside!" Reggie whined before taking on a caricature of Luke's voice, "'Home is Where my Horse Is'? Reggie, stop putting your songs in my book!"

You couldn't help the snort at his interpretation of Luke, "That's a...uh...an accurate voice?"

Reggie didn't even crack a smile.

"Okay, maybe don't push Luke's buttons but imagine turning this hurt into songs!"

"Okay. Can I be left alone?"

"Sure." You sighed, turning to leave the room again, "But first. Don't get rid of this Reg. You have good songs."

You left Reggie's songbook on the dresser by his door on your way through the Carter-Peters household. Flynn sighed in relief when Reggie didn't continue using his old bass and even waved as you and Julie pulled away from the curb.

Reggie's eyes had stayed on the songbook you left on his second-hand dresser as if it would get up and bite him. All he could see was Luke rolling his eyes when Reggie had opened the book to show him a new song he'd written. Reggie was tired of only being known for playing bass.

"I brought you some leftover pizza." Reggie wasn't aware he'd been staring at the songbook for hours by then. He was only aware of Luke when he offered a peace offering in the form of Reggie's favourite food.

"I-"

"I'll go grab a soda from the fridge." Luke retreated just as quick as he had entered the bedroom. Seeing Luke was like rubbing salt in the open wound, and once more, Reggie's emotions flared.

Reggie was already at the fire pit in the backyard when Luke had argued with Flynn overtaking one of her sodas. The soda that had dropped on the back porch as Luke saw Reggie's fingers about to drop the songbook in the crackling fire.

"Reggie!" Luke shouted, ignoring the cold spray of soda on his bare arms. The hazel-eyed guitarist shoved Reggie away from the fire.

"What the hell, dude?" Reggie groaned, rolling onto his stomach to push himself to his sit on his knees. His blue eyes seeing Luke stomping the ignited corner of the songbook that had caused them issues.

"What the hell were you doing, Reggie?" Luke demanded with the songbook held tight in his grip. The glare on the messy-haired teenager directly pinned on his best friend, "Why would you try to destroy the book?"

"What's the point of having something our band won't branch into?" Reggie shrugged, moving to sit with his knees pulled to chest, "I've tried to keep the peace but Luke. I'm starting to understand why Bobby left the band."

Luke's heart clenched at the honesty Reggie was revealing, "What do you mean?"

"Screw the blood pact." Reggie grumbled, recalling the oath Alex, Bobby, and he had done to keep the truth from Luke, "Bobby didn't leave because he got an early acceptance into Juilliard."

Luke's eyebrows furrowed together, "What?"

"Luke...you tend to get possessive over the music we make. You brushed off Bobby's opinions, and we all didn't want to hurt your feelings. You've had a shitty time with your parents, but like Bobby, I feel like you don't appreciate our talents."

"What? Dude, you're killer on the bass! Alex's insane on the drums!"

"We know that. Maybe Bobby should have told you the truth on why he was leaving. I don't think you noticed but

"Luke. The songs we perform are all written by you. It was fine, but then when Julie joined, all of a sudden, you were okay with someone else writing with you. But you've never even looked at the songs I've written."

Luke silently listened as Reggie rambled on about how he, along with Bobby, felt underappreciated by the guitarist.

"And now you've been bit by the writers' block bug, but I think the band should take a break. Get our heads back on straight. Before we destroy the band, destroy our friendships." Reggie told his best friend with tears rolling down his face, "Just a week or two."

Luke's mouth hung open as Reggie circled around him to enter the household, but the telltale sound of the lock engaging broke the teenager. But Luke wasn't one to give up, so he created a group chat with Alex, Julie, Flynn and you. A single text that had all of them meeting at the studio.

"He quit the band?" Alex demanded, taking the songbook from Luke's hand, "What the hell?"

"One second he's in his room, and the next he's about to burn that! I may not like-"

"Luke, have you even read a single song he wrote?" You asked your boyfriend with your arms resting down on your knees. The boy in question half-heartedly shrugged with his eyes on his battered shoes.

"How are we gonna fix this?" Julie asked with a frown marring her pretty face usually lit up with sunshine. Her question was left to waft in the forlorn atmosphere in her family's studio.

"Give me that." You demanded towards the band's drummer with determination lit up in your eyes. Alex hesitantly handed over the songbook to your grabby hands.

The other individuals in the room watched as you settled into a chair with a stray acoustic guitar you'd left. Your eyes focused on the notes Reggie had placed around one of the unfinished songs. The soft melody was played a few times before you noticed Alex creating a beat with his drums.

"If I just tweak the song to make this piece the verse instead of a chorus." You mumbled under your breath with a pen scratching the paper. In a different colour, you jotted down the lyrics of a song you'd been working on previously. It was a song you'd struggled with the ending.

Alex huddled around you to add his own notes for the drums, "Definitely a song with a soft backing beat."

"Perfect. I just joined what he has with a song I'd given up a while back. The two songs are the last two pieces of a puzzle." You informed the drummer. Both of you unaware as Julie, Luke, and Flynn watched your brainstorming.

Luke felt out of sorts not being included in writing a song, but he thought it was suitable to not work on it. It gave Luke insight into how Reggie felt not being included in songwriting.

"I have an idea." Luke interjected with a grin, "Reggie's always wanted to see a real ranch. Do you think your uncle would be okay with us staying at the ranch?"

Your eyes flitted up to the mischievous hazel of your boyfriend's scheming gaze, "My uncle adores having people on the ranch. He'd enjoy teaching Reggie the ways of ranch life out of a city."

"How are you gonna get Reggie out to Nashville without it being band business?" Flynn questioned from her position on the couch, "He did just ask for a break from the band."

"Uh...I could pretend to enter a music competition." You offered hesitantly as you'd never actually performed on a stage for the group. You'd kept your personal life separate from your successful career as a country musician.

So you conspired with your friends to make amends with the bassist.

One Month Later, Nashville

The beat-up van pulled into a parking spot in front of a building. The band had seen the building in pictures on your Instagram. Alex, Luke and Julie all shared a look Reggie couldn't catch with his mouth wide open at the city.

"So, where's this competition?" Reggie inquired with his steps in line with Julie. The distance between Reggie and Luke is still noticeable.

True to Reggie's word, the band had come back together after two weeks of a break, but the bassist and guitarist's friendship was still fractured. A particular cloud of awkwardness followed each attempt; Luke tried to branch it together.

"Uh, not here. Y/N invited me to tour the recording studio she uses through her label." Luke offered to the confused bassist. As usual, Reggie barely cast a glance at the guitarist.

"C'mon!" Alex called out from the open doorway with the new addition of you by his side.

Luke was quick to nearly tackle you in a hug and a lingering kiss on your lips. The band all made sounds of feigned disgust. Even Reggie joined in the usual banter within the group.

"Hey, Reggie, do you want to see how us country artists do it?" You quipped with your arm interlocking with his. The cold leather of his jacket raising goosebumps on your arm as you dragged him to the recording booth.

As soon as he was comfortable on one of the spinney chairs by the producer's side, he watched like a hawk. The band had never been in a real professional recording studio owned by a label. It was interesting to everyone, but mostly they all watched Reggie's reactions.

"I was working on this song." You spoke from inside the booth. With a nod, your producer began playing a portion of the song.

"Is...is that-" Reggie was cut off by as Luke interrupted him.

"Your song? Yeah."

Reggie stared at his best friend, "What?"

"You were right, Reggie. I didn't appreciate what you could bring to the band, and I'm so fucking sorry about that. You have excellent songs even if I'm not a fan of country music." Luke genuinely informed his best friend with his hands clasping his, "I want you. Both you and Alex to have a bigger role because we started this band together. We all share responsibility."

"So for now. Alex and I finished one of the songs you had written. I was wondering if you'd like to make it a duet? Release it as a single with a full writing credit."

Reggie absolutely beamed in response to your question. He was in the recording booth beside you in mere seconds.

For the week the band stayed on your uncle's ranch, Reggie was in the studio with you going over the song. It is a song you released as the leading single for your upcoming studio album with Reggie and cemented his career. It wasn't the last time you did a song with Reggie. In fact, he set himself up as a sought after country songwriter.

"Holy shit!" Luke shouted as soon as Reggie told him the success of one of the songs had brought interest to Julie and the Phantoms, "I could kiss you! I'll never doubt your skills!"

Reggie and Luke's fractured friendship healed with the promise of a yearly visit to the ranch in Nashville. Plus, Reggie impressed Luke and Alex with the banjo riff in a country song the band released on their third studio album featured by you. Reggie would always be thankful he had the chance to record ‘Lay Here With Me’ with you.

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x0401x · 3 years

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Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #26

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Opera-phile

I had a hobby that I couldn’t tell anyone about. People like me were no rare breed.

Amongst the hobbies I had heard about from my friends until now, the one that made me think “this might be a bit hard to tell someone” the most was that keeping ice cream lids when they finished eating it. They said they would write down the date on each lid and store them in one of those clear files sold at 100-yen shops. They could only eat ice cream on special days when they were little, and they still couldn’t get over the habit of that time. The face of the person who had told me about this seemed simply satisfied in some way. Regardless, this may not have been something so difficult to say because it was revealed at a drinking party.

Now. Bringing the topic back to me.

If you were living alone in a foreign land called Sri Lanka, you could do whatever you wanted. I could get up at any time, eat whatever I felt like, study the things I enjoyed and go wherever I wanted with my Three-Wheeler. I didn’t have much, but the prices were cheap. My culinary repertoire was also noticeably increasing. Even if I danced alone in my room, no one would be watching. No, my dear dog Jirou would stare at me with a bit of a strange look, but there were times when he’d eventually jump up and down and start dancing with me. Even if I listened to music at a loud volume, the same went for my neighbors.

Therefore, I was now thinking that maybe my stopper had come off a little.

I had bought the CD in Colombo, the real capital of Sri Lanka. As one would expect of the biggest shop in the country, they sold a lot of things that were unlikely to be available in Kandy.

The jacket featured a black-haired woman with a spellbound face, both of her arms outstretched. It was an opera CD with twelve songs.

I went back and forth in my room, shouting, “ah~, ah~”. What an opera was? No, I did know. It was traditional singing style – something like a musical, in which singers such as tenor, paritone, soprano and alto would perform along with a play. But something about them that diverged a bit from musicals was that the words used were old, the melodies weren’t excitable, and they were mainly either Italian or French, I believed.

I had no choice but admit it at this point. I liked opera.

Nakata Seigi had the words “I’m in love with opera” floating about in his head. I was driven by an urge to scream “gyaaah” and make said words disappear, but on the CD jacket, Maria Callas was making a spellbound face as usual, and that made me happy. I had purchased this CD after much hesitation over buying this or buying that. There was no way I wouldn’t be happy about it. Still...

Somewhere in my head, I recognized this as something embarrassing.

My dear boss was always telling me to think rationally at such times. He told me that whenever I thought my mind was moving in absurd ways, it always happened that there was some sort of timid development in me, which I either hadn’t noticed or, even if I did notice it, I’d ignore it – but once I understood it, it would stop being absurd.

Why would opera be embarrassing in the first place?

How I had come to like opera? The trigger was the radio. When I was staying at a hotel for a while back in Tokyo, I tended to feel down because I had nothing to do other than study, so I’d sometimes listen to the radio broadcast at the hotel while devoting myself to physics and English.

The singing voice I heard at that time was – how should I put it? – tremendously wonderful.

I couldn’t think that it was the voice of someone from the same world as myself. Someone was singing in a place just a few ways away, and as I listened to it, my body felt like my body was airily floating up – it was that kind of voice. I didn’t have any preferences for either male or female, and if anything, I liked both. The title of the song being streamed was written in the hotel’s guidebook, so I went to a video streaming site and searched for the same song by other singers and the songs that came before and after said piece. Faust. Madama Butterfly. Otello. Rigoletto. The Magic Flute. Don Giovanni. Whenever an opera song was used on a TV show, i became able to at least tell which prelude it was from.

And this passion hadn’t cooled down even now that some time had passed since then.

I walked around the room again, shouting, “Uuuh, uuuh”. Jirou energetically followed me from behind. It was almost as if he meant to say, “It’s fun to go a stroll even inside a room, huh, owner?”. Sorry but it’s not like I’m taking you on a walk, I thought, yet Jirou couldn’t care less, letting out a sweet voice as I held him up and rocked him, and then running off to the yard as if he had gotten excited. Just as I felt relieved, thinking about what a cute fella he was, I found myself imagining something. I could see myself at the drinking party, talking about how I liked opera. The reaction I pictured was an explosion of laughter.

“‘Opera’, you say. What’s up with that? It’s that thing where fat people raise their voices like crazy, right? You like that? Why? No way, Nakata, didn’t you just want to have a rich people hobby just ‘cause you’ve well-off these days? Like, those that feel like you’re superior. That’s exactly what opera is. Okay, I get it, but that ain’t very interesting, so how about we change the topic?”

It gave me chills.

I wasn’t creeped out by how people might talk about my hobbies. However, it was painful to have the whole genre of opera, which had saved me back when I was put in a spot like a light reaching out from the sky, be judged by people who didn’t even know the difference between Callas and Pavarotti and not be able to defend them. I had to protect what was important to me. Or else, it would get damaged. I wasn’t referring to the long-standing form of art that had been cultivated for hundreds of years. I meant my own heart. That was painful to me.

Yeah, I was somewhat aware that this wasn’t an “embarrassment”. But I was scared.

I was low-key terrified of having people pointing their fingers at me from behind with words such as “eccentric”, “weirdo” or “pretentious” for having a preference that was different from other people’s – and something that I seriously liked, no less.

With a deep breath, I took the CD’s vinyl cover. Unlike Japanese CDs, there was none of those convenient little ears that made the cover come off when you pulled it. I slowly cut it with a pair of scissors, set it on a nostalgic stereo radio and played it while referring to the table of track numbers on the backside.

Just from the intro, I already knew who was singing and what song it was.

Maria Callas’s “Casta Diva”. It was a song from an opera called “Norma”, and the meaning of it was “chaste goddess”.

What it made me reminisce to was a seriously horrible time, when I had to prepare for my death to a certain extent. Whenever this song played in the hotel’s radio program, which repeated itself over and over, this song would connect me with paradise, telling me that I didn’t need to worry about trivial matters, so I was able to leave it all aside and relax. It was that kind of song. Without a doubt, my biggest and best saver was that beautiful jeweler, but from the sidelines, opera had definitely helped me keep my sanity.

That was amazing.

I was grateful from the bottom of my heart that this form of art, which couldn’t be classified as mainstream at all in Japan and probably overseas as well, had maintained its thread of life across the centuries. It had saved me. Would the CD sales be of any help to it? Thankfully, I had some money to spend and was probably able to buy a set of all-track CDs per month. Would that be a form of repayment of any kind? It would be great if so, I thought wholeheartedly.

“Casta Diva” wasn’t too long a piece. With a voice that sounded like it was vanishing, the song ended. For whatever reason, it made me feel like crying, no matter how many times I had listened to it. It was too beautiful. It was an impossible speculation, but if Richard turned into a song, I felt that his form would change into something very close to this one.

Once I finished listening to the track, the “aaah”s and “uuuh”s had disappeared from my head. I liked opera. Opera turned into my strength. So I wanted to cherish it.

Even if someone ridiculed me for it, the problem was with the person, not with me or with opera. And my precious, beautiful shopkeeper had stated that “no discriminating other people based on their preferences” was one of the main principles of Etranger. What was I going to do by discriminating myself?

I was going to keep buying opera CDs from now on too, I swore proudly to my heart, yet secretly decided not to write about it in my blog or talk to Richard about it. Not because it was embarrassing. But rather because I had the gut feeling that I couldn’t predict what would happen in the end if I told him.

On that day, I was busy with preparations for cooking. First Saul-san, and then Richard would come to Kandy to hear the reports about the progress of my studies. It was also like a test. But I hadn’t studied half-assedly enough to chicken out at that. Above all, thanks to the negotiations in Ratnapura, I was conscious that my eyes were well-trained, if I could say so myself.

If it didn’t go well even with this, that was fine. I was happy to find new challenges. Lots of things became easier once I started feeling that studying was fun.

And since they were coming over, they wouldn’t get angry if I prepared a bit of a feast. More than anything, being able to cook a few people’s share in this house had me overjoyed. After all, I was basically living alone, so just how many times had I found delicious-looking and cheap food but had to tearfully give up because I wasn’t sure if I could eat it all by myself?

Being surrounded by things that made you happy was extremely good for the heart.

Deciding to go for an additional blow, I set the CD in the radio. A long aria began at the end of the first opus of all songs. It was a French opera called “La Fille du Régiment”, and being fond of this one had greatly helped me when I was studying French.

The man who started to sing that he was going to marry the army was a world-renowned tenor.

In the beginning, the man sang that he was going to do meritorious deeds in the army, cheered on by his companions. Since I had been listening to the words ever since back when I could only hear them as katakana spelling, my mouth moved without any reference. Of course, my voice didn’t sound like that of a tenor, but it had the same gist as somehow trying to sing in the range of a singer from some music show. Just that was fun enough.

A fish pie was baking in the oven. There were three types of curry in the smaller pots. My Nakata-style sliced veggies pickled in soy sauce, which were a mixture of chopped coconut sambal and dried fruits, were lined up on a cutting board, and the fresh fruits that I planned to make into mixed juice were all completely ready. The only thing I had left to do was preparing watalappan for dessert. It had to chill in the fridge for a while, so it was necessary to make it in advance. However, since it was my third time making it, I had the procedure memorized. No worries.

The tenor raised his voice amidst joy. The man who sang, “Ah, I’m going, I’m going to marry the army” didn’t like the army in particular, he was just in love with the abandoned girl that all the men from the regiment he was enlisted in were raising together.

The key switched to waltz. The true value of the tenor would ensue from that point onward.

The oven beeped, indicating that the pie had finished baking. With light steps, put on my gloves, took out the whole iron plate with the pie on it and gently slid it into a white porcelain plate.

A series of splendid high Cs. This referred to when the tenor raised their voice a great deal. If the composer was wonderful in reproducing the feelings of happiness into the music so keenly, then so was the singer who sang them so faithfully, I believed. The feeling of excitement turned into the melody just the way it was.

I arranged the dishes on the table and peeled the fruits. The high Cs continued one after another. I opened a can of coconut milk and mixed the contents with nut paste. The song was approaching the end. “What a fate, what a fate,” he sang, sounding merry. The highest note was near.

The song was coming to a close while celebrating happiness with the highest note. The feelings of the singer weren’t recorded in the CD, but I could hear them as comfortably as could be.

It wasn’t nearly high enough, but I sang along at a fairly loud volume.

At the same time as the song finished with a flashy grace note, I lightly kicked the open lid of the oven. It closed up neatly. With this, everything was all set. I was going to put away the CD set before the guests arrived.

Or so I had planned.

After the peak of my excitement, I noticed that someone was standing outside the window. He hadn’t come in from the front door. Hence the chime didn’t ring.

“Bravo, bravissimo.” A beautiful man wearing a white shirt and sunglasses, said glasses charmingly pushed up above his forehead, was smiling while applauding at my stiffened self.

The test was terrible that day. I didn’t think there was any issue with the contents of my answers. However, since I was stuttering so much, Saul, my mentor who was so picky about manner of speech as well as the contents of it, pointed out that I should “act more dignified”. I knew that better than anyone. There was too much noise interference in my head with things such as, “Why did I put opera on in such high spirits? What did he think of me now? As I thought, does he think that this hobby doesn’t suit me? No, that’s definitely impossible when it comes to my teacher, so I have to take control of my self-consciousness”.

And so, this is a story that happened more than half a year after that. Something that took place in Sri Lanka in May.

“Eh?”

“Happy birthday, Seigi. Here is a little present.”

“A bank deposit transfer certificate?”

“Good job reading it. That is from the USA.”

“USA...”

“There was a seat that you would probably like, so I purchased a year’s worth of it.”

“A year”? This wasn’t potato chips or cup noodles. What kind of seat was that? Was there a truck coming to deliver it? While thinking about such things, I continued reading the A4 paper, and when I got to half of it, I roared loudly. I let out a voice that sounded like a crushed frog, I believed.

The seat that Richard had given me was indeed a seat. But at a music theatre in America, which was likely the world’s most famous. It was a one-year membership card.

This was proof that “a seat will be reserved for you”. A seat just for me, for any performance, that I could use whenever I went there.

I felt lightheaded. Just how much had this “seat” cost him? What was he trying to do by giving something like this to someone who sat in swivel chairs sold at mass retailers? I did have such rational retorts in my head, but above that, I was so, so happy that I started jumping up and down. I could go to a theatre that I only knew about from CDs. Anytime, as long as I had the plane tickets. No matter who was singing.

“Can I really have this?!”

“Do you think I’m some sort of boorish lad who’d take back the treasure after making the other person happy?”

“No way! Uoooh, I’m too excited; that’s bad!”

“You are reacting like a dog again...”

“I’m gonna run in the yard for a bit!”

As I, with a messy katakana pronunciation, sang to myself the chorus part of the aria that had just finished while rolling around in the yard, Jirou ran over and mounted on me without restraint. “Owner, we’re going to play here, right? We’re going to play here, right? Come, let’s play,” he seemed to say, energetically wagging his tail. I was so happy that I hugged him and rolled about, but then I could see Richard laughing. The yard was on a slightly lower level than the house, so the house was wholly visible, so I didn’t think I was mistaken. He really was making a happy-looking face. This might have been my first time seeing that man laugh with such a child-like expression.

At that moment, something suddenly came to mind.

When Richard told me for the first time that he “likes pudding”, did he also think for a bit that it was embarrassing or wonder about what I was going to say? This man had thorough knowledge about the so-called “society”. There was no way that he hadn’t considered the possibility.

But he had told me about it.

Did I not say anything weird to him back then? “A man, liking pudding?” or “Why would a foreigner like a Japanese dessert?” It gave me the creeps. Back then, I didn’t have as much care as now regarding how to handle such circumstances. I just had words jumping out of my mouth like knives. This still applies even now, but I wanted to think it had gotten better, even if just a little.

Had I not said anything to him? Had I not hurt him? I didn’t have any way to confirm that now. If I apologized without knowing what I had said, it wouldn’t be a sincere apology.

But right now, Richard was looking at my happy self and smiling.

So I decided to stop thinking about these things. And from now on too, I would keep making heaps upon heaps of the things he liked.

I had to protect what was important to me by myself. But if I happened to notice something that mattered to someone who was dear to me, I wanted to cherish it too. I had no other choice.

After stroking Jirou, I went back to where Richard was and bowed to him again. He reciprocated the bow with a “you are welcome” and seemed about to start laughing again.

“That’s right, I was gonna make pudding. Wait just a bit more.”

“Is there anything I can help with?”

“You already got me a seat at the MET; I can’t go along with that flattery even as a joke. I’d be happy if you played with Jirou, though.”

“Then, I will take you up on those words.”

Rubbing my chest in relief, I went back to my room, patting my whole body to remove the dirt and dog hairs, and after washing my hands with soap, I returned to the kitchen.

By the looks of it, I was going to be able to listen to an opera in person one of these days – at least within a year’s time. Once I watched it live, all the curtains would close, right? For real? Was such a thing possible? Apparently yes. Hard to believe but it was true.

That man who was like an incarnation of the worldwide definition of “beauty”, and above that, who was a genius at pleasing me, was fooling around with my hybrid brown dog in the yard, illuminated by tropical sunshine. It seemed that the preparations for our feast would still take a while.

“What a wonderful day,” I hummed tentatively in French. A gorgeous tenor voice wouldn’t come out of my throat, but the things I liked would firmly support my heart nevertheless. Almost like a backbone for it. And there was someone supporting this backbone. Honestly, what a wonderful day. For now, I’d be making pudding. And share at least a little bit of this feeling.

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