#which means i won’t be able to actually see her until AT LEAST the fall and like. that’s 7 more p*riods maybe more i can’t wait that long

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Protecting the Aspen Witch

Hey, sorry this isn't very specific, but I was rereading Protector earlier and wanted to know if you could maybe write more from that universe? Brain's not braining much rn, so I'm afraid that's the most detailed I can be haha. But any h/c from that universe would make me extremely happy. Maybe they actually have a conversation about Virgil's trauma? – anon

Read on Ao3 Masterlist

Warnings: panic attack/dissociation

Pairings: DLAMPR

Word Count: 4798   

 Virgil’s got a simple code when he’s not on a hunt. Don’t hurt whatever you don’t absolutely have to, and odds are, it won’t hurt you. Now and then there’s a bit of an, um, incident where that doesn’t quite work out as well as they’d hoped, but by and large they get by.

On another quest to the Aspen Witch, something goes...a little awry.

Truly, going to see the Aspen Witch isn't the worst quest in the world. In another set of circumstances, he would be grateful for such a well-traveled road, or even just to be able to go somewhere that he knows.

In this world, however, he thinks that the next time someone needs something from the Aspen Witch, he'll tell them to go themselves.

(He won't, he knows he won't, but he likes to imagine for one moment that he might consider it.)

In any case, at least this time he's not bartering for something on behalf of someone else. He's making a delivery on behalf of Elise, a sweet girl in the village who accidentally pissed off the wrong warlock. (See, this is why he'd never actually be able to tell someone else to go, because either he's bartering, which means it's for something that'll help a lot of people, or it's for someone who would definitely be in grave danger if they tried to go alone.) The warlock hadn't taken too kindly to Elise's accidental questioning of their source of magic, even though that wasn't what she was intending at all, and bestowed a powerfully cursed amulet into Elise's possession while she slept. The amulet held a potent attraction charm to coerce Elise into putting it on, and once on, induced paranoia so severe the poor girl's screams could be heard all the way from Virgil's home.

Needless to say, he's taking it far, far away to be destroyed.

He accepted nothing more than a small bag of coin—smaller than his pouch of agrimore dust, the family wasn't exactly in the position to spare a lot of money—and promised Elise to see to it that the amulet never touched her again. Truly it was just a matter of keeping it wrapped in skeldor hide until he reached the Aspen Witch to limit the potency and then, well, then the Aspen Witch would have to know what to do.

Part of him wondered if he would see any of the Five—of course there were five of them and of course they were known by some ridiculous name—when he set off, but there weren't any strange things in his garden, nor did any of them decide to appear when he beds down at the boulder, across the bridge, even when he gets into the valley. No, he manages to make it all the way to the Aspen Witch without running into any of them.

If he were still the adventurer he was years ago, he'd take that as good fortune. If he's going off of what he knows now, he knows enough to be a little wary of their absence.

And if he's being truly honest, something he does try to refrain from outside the safety of the walls of his home, he might be a little disappointed.

He shakes himself out of his thoughts as he approaches the Aspen Witch's grounds. He winces when he stumbles right into the brambles of the crimson thornbushes and feels them tear through his cloak. His fingers almost twitch to his dagger, but then he steels himself. These are the grounds of a magic user, after all, and he would treat them with respect even if he suspected these plants to be totally normal if he decided to slice them open.

With the changing of the seasons, night falls much earlier than it had the last time he ventured this far. The sun is already at the tops of the trees as he approaches the door, several candles already flickering through the windows. He takes a deep breath, takes a moment to check that everything is still where it's supposed to be, and knocks on the door.

"Yes?"

"I am the adventurer known as Virgil. I have come to deal with the Aspen Witch."

"Ah, Virgil! Yes, come in."

He feels something in the door shift and he pushes it open. The bell over the top of the door rings. The Aspen Witch smiles at him from behind her table of treasures; a brickleback spine sits under her hands where she is…obtaining something from it. She sets the tool she's using down with a clink and reaches to pick something up from her side.

"I have prepared for you a drink," she says as Virgil sits, "to ease your burdens."

"I would like to know what is inside it."

"Sunflower nectar, moon blossoms, and honey. It is meant to relax you."

"I recall a similar drink being offered the last time I came."

"You are correct, I offered you a similar drink."

"I would like to know if this one is different than the one you offered last time in any meaningful way."

One of her many rings taps against the edge of the cup. "It has less of the added moon blossoms than the last, which renders it less potent."

Less potent? "I have slaked my thirst at the last waterfall."

Something flickers across her face and she smiles, moving the drink aside. "Another time, then. You are still reeking of curse energy, but this one is different. I would like to know why."

"I have brought you a cursed amulet in the hopes that you would relieve the burden of its intended recipient."

"Show me." Virgil extends the amulet, still wrapped in the hide, and she takes it. She sets it on the table and runs her fingers over the leather strap holding it in place. "This is a fine specimen of hide, Virgil. I would like to know where you obtained it."

"On a past contract."

"I would like you to be more specific."

He says nothing. The Aspen Witch looks at him for a moment longer before she laughs and shakes her head.

"Perhaps another time." She undoes the leather strap carefully and withdraws the amulet. It glistens in the candlelight as she turns it back and forth. "This is a vindictive magic. I would like to know how you came into contact with it."

Is it his imagination, or does the Aspen Witch sound…put out? "The village I live near to. The curse befell a child."

"I would like to know the origins of such a curse, if you would share."

"It is my understanding that the child's intentions behind a question were misunderstood and the magic user sought the consequences they saw fit."

The Aspen Witch's fingers twitch on the chain. She examines the amulet anew and toys with the link near its base. Something darkens in her expression and Virgil tries to keep his hands still. "This was bestowed upon a child, you have said."

"I have said that it was bestowed upon a child."

Her mouth tightens. "I would like to tell you why this is unacceptable."

A chill runs through the cabin. "I would like to ask for clarification on your last statement."

"You may ask."

"I would like to know what it is you find unacceptable: that the child was bestowed a cursed object, that the child was bestowed this cursed object, or that I have said that it was a child to whom it was bestowed."

He must be imagining things because it looks like her expression softens, even the slightest bit. "The second of your list. It is unacceptable that a child was bestowed such a curse. I would like to explain why."

Thank fuck. "I would listen to an explanation."

The Aspen Witch lays the amulet back down on the hide and reaches for something else. She takes a long stick from a drawer and snaps it over the amulet. As the pieces of it start to drift down, they take on different colors and hover in the air.

"Curses have three main derivations," she says as she does so, "either they affect the accursed's mind, their body, or their soul. Mind curses are difficult to break as they require some level of consent from the accursed. Body curses are the most varied but are not that difficult to break, especially if they are familiar with the curse itself."

They look down to see the particles have turned a vivid bloody red. The Aspen Witch's nails scrape against the table.

"Soul curses are vile things," she spits with more emotion than Virgil has ever seen or heard from her, "and they can erase a person if they are not done with extreme skill."

Virgil's mouth runs dry. "I…would like to know what you mean by 'erase.'"

"No," the Aspen Witch says lowly, "you do not."

Alright, no, I do not. That's good enough for me.

With a flick of her wrist, she disperses the particles and wraps the amulet back in the hide. She takes a deep breath and steadies herself—what the fuck has Virgil walked into if the Aspen Witch has to steady herself?—before she looks at him again.

"I would like to know what you intend to provide as payment."

"I recall you mentioning the value of curse energy upon our last visit."

"You would offer the energy of this curse as the payment for removing it."

"I would offer the energy of the curse as payment for its removal."

The Aspen Witch looks at him for a moment longer before she nods and stands, retrieving the amulet from within the hide and sliding the hide over for Virgil to take. "I accept this payment."

He takes the hide silently and puts it back in his pack, watching as she walks over to another table. She places the amulet in a pestle and takes various jars down from the shelf above. He watches as she sprinkles things over the amulet and soft motes of light begin to emerge as she murmurs under her breath. When the glow is strong enough to rival one of the candles, she takes the mortar and brings it down.

Three things happen at once.

First, he sees pieces of the amulet shatter, ricocheting hard enough to dig grooves into the walls of the house.

Second, there is an overwhelmingly loud boom.

Third, something crackles outside and the whole building shakes.

The Aspen Witch's head whips around, staring not at Virgil but over his shoulder in the direction of the door. The mortar falls from her hands as she narrows her eyes. Virgil holds his hands up slowly, indicating that he's not about to do shit right now, and he carefully turns to look over his shoulder.

The door is still intact, but something in his instincts prickles along the back of his neck. He looks back.

"I would like to know what that was," he says as quietly as he can.

"Yes," the Aspen Witch says as she begins to walk over, "so would I."

Great, magic stuff happening that the magic user doesn't know. This is just great.

She passes him in the chair and opens the door, leaving it wide enough for Virgil to peer over her shoulder. He stands, very slowly, and tries to angle himself so he can see what's going on.

Another magic user—he's assuming, after what just happened, but he thinks it's a pretty safe guess—stands in the center of the plot of grass in front of the house. A sigil is burned and seared into the ground, and he winces.

This isn't going to go well.

"You are trespassing," the Aspen Witch says with her words full of ice and fuck it, Virgil's ready to run, "you will cease to do so."

"You destroyed something of mine," the warlock says, extending a hand, "that gives me the right to see it reversed."

"You are the foolish one who sought a soul curse upon a child?"

"I sought what was due to me for such a slight," they spit back, "as well should you know that we aren't to be questioned. And how did you hear about this, is it from the thick-headed bull that leers over your shoulder?"

Virgil's just about to edge his way out of this conversation, thank you very much, when the Aspen Witch's hand, the one behind her back, twitches.

"You will not speak of him like that."

What's going on?

"Why not? He's an adventurer, isn't he?" The warlock laughs, high and cruel and Virgil needs to get a hold of himself before something bad happens. "They're all the same, big and dumb and grunting animals that only care about coin and stopping magic users."

The words strike a chord in his chest and he tries not to let the hurt show to obviously on his face.

"Is he your pet?" The warlock's smile turns into lascivious. "Did I interrupt you in the midst of something? You of all people should understand, then, is it any harm that I wanted to make one for myse—"

The warlock doesn't get to finish their sentence as the Aspen Witch's hand flies out and a mass of thorns erupts from the earth, ensnaring them in a tangled web of crawling plant life. Virgil's hand lands on the hilt of his sword and he just as quickly wrests it away. He's not looking to make himself a target in this after all.

"Touchy," the warlock laughs—take a fucking hint, just get out while you still can— "did he tell you about that cute little thing in the village, then? Has the great Aspen Witch gone soft?"

"You are welcome to test that assumption at your earliest convenience."

Don't fucking test it. Get the fuck out. Be smart for twenty consecutive seconds and fucking run, you idiot.

The warlock doesn't. Instead, they start on about some great speech and self-aggrandizing, but Virgil sees one of their hands make a somatic component and he doesn't think.

Truly, it might be him that's gone soft. There was a time where he would already be gone, or tucked away inside out of sight. There was certainly a time where if two magic users starting casting on each other, he would not be anywhere near it.

But, he can only be who he is, no more and no less. So when he sees the component taking shape, he moves on instinct to shove the Aspen Witch out of the way and get his gauntlet up to take the full force of the spell.

The world goes black.

***

    "—il! Virgil!"

Distantly, he registers the sound of a voice. The air crackles.

"Virgil! I would—oh, hells."

Something is dragging him. His head bumps something. He's hauled up and propped against something—a wall?

"Virgil," the voice says again, he knows that voice, "Virgil, open your eyes."

He does, only for blurry things to swim in front of him. He closes them again.

"Virgil." He definitely knows that voice. "Virgil, you must open your eyes."

He tries again, blinking a few times. The first thing to come into focus is the candle on the table closest to him. The second is the hand on his shoulder, laden with rings. Only when he traces the hand to the arm up to the head does he realize who was speaking to him.

"There," the Aspen Witch says in a rush, "there. That is better."

All at once, the memories of what happened flood his brain. The amulet. The warlock. The somatic component. The spell—

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. He interfered with a magic battle. He took a spell meant for the Aspen Witch. He touched the Aspen Witch without permission, he shoved her out of the way, he—he—

"Stay," he hears as two hands land on the sides of his neck, "do not go where I cannot find you, stay here."

He blinks. The Aspen Witch is closer now, her eyes scanning his face. He swallows.

"Don't speak," she says when he opens his mouth, reaching and pressing something warm into his hand, "drink first."

I would like to know what is in it, he tries to say, but all that leaves his throat is a ruined gasp.

"It is the same drink I offered you before," she says, as though she could hear him—can she?— "it is unchanged. It is to help you relax. Drink."

He's already risked too much to afford to say no. He raises the drink to his lips and takes the smallest of sips. The warm, sweet liquid is like a balm to his sore throat and he takes another sip right away. The Aspen Witch watches him closely, one hand still on his shoulder.

"I…" He swallows, testing his voice. "I am…grateful for the drink."

"I am relieved to hear it helped." She cups his hand around it. "I will provide more should you wish it."

"Are you—I would like to know if you're—" he coughs— "if you're alright."

Her expression twitches and he knows he doesn't fully suppress his flinch, not with her this close, not with her looking at him like that. "You took a spell that was meant for me. You saved me. You defended me. And you have been hurt because of it."

Her hand moves slowly from his shoulder to his cheek.

"I…do not know what to do," she confesses softly, "we did not agree on payment."

"I do not require payment," he says as quickly as his throat will let him, "I did not—you don't—this is not an act that would require payment. You do not—I would—fuck."

He isn't lucid enough to do this. He can't do the careful and wary conversation that he has to right now, he can't—he can't—

"I will not bind your tongue," the Aspen Witch says, her hand still gentle on his face, "you…if you wish, you can speak."

No, he can't. He can't because he'll fuck it up and then—then—

Her hand leaves his face. "I will call the Five."

"No!"

Everything freezes.

He just told the Aspen Witch what to do. He just told the Aspen Witch no. He just—he just—oh, fuck—

"I mean—I m-mean—"

"I am not angry," she says, "I…you do not need to be so afraid. I will not harm you. I would like to know why you do not want your sweet ones to come and help you."

"I—my what?"

"Your sweet ones. The ones who care for you and whom you care for." She tilts her head, hair falling to one shoulder. "You do not wish for them to come, and I am curious."

"They're a lot," he manages and she laughs.

"Yes, they are. But they know you. They would help you."

"They're—" he takes another drink and feels his tongue relax. "All of this has happened because another magic user intruded on your grounds."

"These would be invited, and they would be to help you. I could bear no ill tidings against them, not when you are in need of assistance I cannot provide." At his face, her smile saddens. "You are afraid, and I cannot help you, for you are afraid of me too."

…well, there's really not much he can say to that.

"I will call them," she says carefully, so carefully it's almost a question, and he nods. She nods as well and stands. "If you would like more drink, I would wish for you to say."

Less than a few moments later, after she's gone to a table out of sight, he hears Roman's voice.

"Aspen Witch," and oh, fuck, he never thought he'd be so relieved to hear one of them, "you have called us."

"Come," she calls, walking toward the door and opening it, "your sweet one is hurting."

He blinks and in an instant, Roman is there, cupping his face, looking all worried and he can't stop the tears welling in the corners of his eyes. Roman sees them, because of course he does, and then he's cooing and leaning forward to kiss his forehead.

"Oh, baby," he whispers, "baby, what happened?"

"What happened," he hears Logan ask at the same time, "is he alright?"

"He came to me with a cursed object and asked for its removal. As I destroyed it, the warlock responsible appeared and attempted to wrest it back. He…jumped in the way of the spell."

He hears a flutter of fabric and looks up to see both Janus and Remus at the table where the amulet was destroyed. Remus curses and Janus hits the table and the noise bounces around his head—

"Shh, shh," Roman murmurs, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs, "eyes on me, baby, stay with me. There you are, with your pretty eyes, shh, that's it, you're doing very well."

"What sort of spell," he hears Patton ask, "is it still there?"

"I banished it as soon as the warlock was dealt with. He—there should be no lingering effects. I do not understand."

"Mortal minds are fragile," Logan says softly, "and Virgil has been an adventurer for many years. He has encountered a great number of things, magical or otherwise, and it would be unreasonable to assume that they have not left their marks."

"Baby," Roman calls again, and Virgil looks back at him, "hey, there he is. The others are just trying to figure out what's going on, but you and I are gonna take care of you first, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now, I just want you to keep looking at me, okay? All I'm gonna do is touch you, okay? No magic, no casting, just touch." His fingers start to card through his hair and Virgil immediately feels his eyes get heavy. "You can close your eyes if you need to, just lean against me, I've got you, I'm right here."

The adrenaline from everything finally starts to wear off and Virgil feels his body decide to give in. He sags forward into Roman's waiting embrace, eyes falling shut as Roman starts to murmur sweet nonsense. After another moment, he hears Patton come over too and another hand scratches lightly between his shoulder blades. He nearly whimpers from sheer relief before he remembers that he's not at home, he's in the Aspen Witch's house, and the Aspen Witch herself is less than a few feet away.

He wrenches himself back awake, looking up at her, and to his surprise, she looks…upset? He glances at Logan, just to her left, and Logan simply smiles.

"Hello," he says softly, "are you alright?"

"I think so."

"Good, that's very good. You jumped in front of a spell and you didn't know what it was?"

"Wait," Roman says, "you did what?"

He sets his jaw and looks at the ground. Patton shoots a look at the two of them. "Don't scold him, can't you see he's already upset? Don't make it worse."

"Sorry, baby," Roman murmurs, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "I'm not mad."

"Neither am I," Logan says, "but I am…confused."

"You shouldn't be," Janus says, finally moving away from the table, "he's Virgil, of course he jumped in front of the spell."

Well, that's not helping anything either. He feels his face start to burn and tries to pull away from Roman, but he's held fast. He swallows the instinctive wave of panic and buries his face in the crook of his shoulder.

"Aww, are you embarrassed?"

"You are making things worse," the Aspen Witch says, a bite to her tone, "I called you to help, not to hurt."

"We won't tease," Roman promises, both to her and to Virgil, "we're finished, you have my word."

Did…did the Aspen Witch just defend him? What in the fuck is going on? He risks a look at her and their eyes meet and something…something feels wrong.

"Virgil?" Patton's hand stills on his back. "What's wrong?"

"I am…also confused."

"What about?"

There's no polite way to say this and no, he isn't going to risk it right now, so he just looks from Patton back to the Aspen Witch and hopes that somehow, they'll get the gist of what he's trying to say. Sure enough, it takes Patton one look between the two of them before he's smiling.

"Oh, she's just jealous."

"What?"

"I would ask that you don't speak for me," she hisses but she sounds far more like Elise than the Aspen Witch.

"Tell him yourself, then."

The Aspen Witch scowls at him for a moment before she sighs and looks at Virgil. Her mouth twists around as if searching for the words before she sighs again.

"Your etiquette for magic users is exemplary," she says, "and you…for all that we have interacted, I do not know much about you."

She gestures around.

"The Five have your trust, they have your words. They…have not known you for as long as I have."

Oh.

Oh.

"I can't help you," she continues, "I…am upset by this. I would—I—"

She closes her eyes for a long moment and then opens them once more.

"I want to help you, Virgil, I want you to let me help you."

He likes to think that on a normal day, perhaps he wouldn't be doing something like this, but this isn't a normal day, and he's already broken that glass. So he reaches out a hand to the Aspen Witch, and when she takes it, he uses it to pull her a little bit closer.

She comes and crouches next to Patton, holding his hand as though it were the most precious thing in the house. He's not quite sure what to do with that.

"Are you alright?"

She nods. "I am alright."

"I liked the drink."

"I am glad. I will offer it to you again."

"I will accept it."

"Listen to you both," Remus snorts, and Janus whacks him upside the head. "Ow!"

"Ignore him, you're both doing wonderfully. Carry on, pretend we aren't here."

And you know, that's a bit too much for him to deal with right now. So when he feels the tug in his gut to start feeling things again, he closes his eyes and goes limp in Roman's hold, letting tears spill from his face. The Aspen Witch jerks in alarm but Patton must be saying something to the effect of this is normal, he's just overwhelmed, you gotta let him be a crybaby sometimes, but he's not paying attention because he's too goddamn tired.

Distantly, he registers Roman stroking his hair again, Patton's hand on his back, and the Aspen Witch beginning to squeeze his hand every few seconds, but with the apprehension of someone who's never pet a horse before trying to interact in a way that won't upset either of them. It's quite a surreal experience, really, and he thinks he can be forgiven for not wholly understanding what's going on.

A lot's happened today, and it's late. He should be asleep.

"He is hurt," the Aspen Witch says and everybody wakes up a bit at that, "let me help him."

"What's wrong?"

"The thorns have hurt him on his way through. I have a salve for them."

"Virgil," Logan asks, "is that okay? Can we help?"

He mumbles a vague agreement and he hears Janus laugh. "Poor thing's all sleepy. He needs a rest, is there somewhere we can tend to him?"

"Upstairs, there is a bed."

"Can I carry you, baby?" Virgil nods and Roman lifts him up almost effortlessly. "There, come on, upstairs, now."

As they pass the table, he forces himself to rouse and look to find the Aspen Witch. "The amulet—the child—"

"The child will suffer no more, the curse is gone." She puts her hand on his shoulder. "Now rest. Mortals are fragile, you must allow yourself to be cared for."

"He's not very good at that," Remus stage-whispers and Janus hits him again. "Hey! Stop it!"

"Stop being an insufferable ham sack, then."

"He's right," Virgil mumbles as he's put down on a bed, "I'm really not great at it."

"You're getting better," Logan says, sitting near his head, "now, you can try and sleep. No harm will come to you, you're safe here."

He looks over at the Aspen Witch, holding a tin of salve and a soft towel. She smiles and nods. "No harm will ever come to you under my roof, Virgil. I will see to it that you are safe."

"I…am grateful for that."

"As am I."

Not how he saw the quest ending, of course, but indeed, far from the worst quest in the world.

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#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #fic #roman sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #janus sanders #sympathetic deceit #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders

[morganski-19]

I Don't Know Which Way's Home

Chapter 12: Temporary

ao3 link, Part 1, Part 11

New Years Eve, December 1986

Steve looks around the room, seeing everyone watch the performances in Times Square and playing games. The adults talking amongst themselves in the dining room while all the older kids are talking on the couches. Even if they weren’t quite kids anymore.

It’s a few minutes until midnight, and Steve has never been happier. Seeing his house full of life, full of love. It always made his mood a little brighter. Even now, seeing Julie laughing with the kids that he thinks of as family, it makes him proud. Proud that he gets to call these people family.

Eddie saunters up to him, beer in hand. Getting close in the way that they can when no one else knows. “Wanna smoke?” he asks.

“Sure,” Steve smiles, knowing that’s not really what it means.

They head outside, the cold air instantly making Steve shiver. As soon as they get out of eyesight, Eddie pulls Steve close, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist. Steve draping his arms around Eddie’s shoulders.

“Hi,” Eddie smiles. “Midnight’s pretty soon.”

“Yeah, that why you pulled me out here?”

Eddie scoffs. “Like I need an excuse just to do this,” he leans forward and kisses Steve. Steve melting into it every time. “That and Birdie beat me to calling the pantry. Her and Nancy are about to be ‘stuck’ in there for a few minutes.”

Steve laughs, pulling Eddie closer. “Think we’ll be able to hear the countdown out here?”

“With this group, probably. I know this is cheesy, and this year was shit for various reasons, but what was you’re favorite thing that happened this year?”

It doesn’t take much thought to have answers pop into Steve’s mind. “I actually have two. The first was Julie showing up on my doorstep and building my relationship with her. But the second,” Steve looks into Eddie’s eyes with a look that he’s feared for years. “The second is you.”

Steve has only ever been in love once before this. And that ended in a less than ideal way. Even if they weren’t meant for each other, or are now friends, it was still enough to make him scared. Make him fear for the day that he would open his heart up again for someone else. Hoping that they won’t reject him. Dates were fine, confessions of attraction were nothing. Love. Love was terrifying.

Terrifying enough that even when he’s standing in the most caring person’s arms, feeling more than he has in years, the words still get caught in his throat. Can’t be spoken, in the small case they’re rejected.

He’s always been fast to fall in love. Jumping in headfirst and figuring it all out later. Even in the darkest depths, he would always be the first to wade in.

Falling in love was easy. It was everything that came with it that made it so hard. And for Steve, there was a lot of baggage. With his parents, and his past, love was different. Love was complicated. Despite his best efforts, they always ended up intertwined. The feelings of loneliness and neglect mixing in where he doesn’t want them.

But as the kids yell out the countdown as the new year turns, Eddie’s lips find Steve’s again, everything sets into place. Every bad thing dissipating away for just a second. Because Eddie was different, at least Steve hoped. But that was for later, this was now.

“Mine is you too,” Eddie says when they break apart, his hands cupping Steve’s face. “You make me happier than you know.”

Maybe this was the one time where the waters weren’t as murky as they normally were. Where the water is crystal clear instead of green and grey. A place that is meant to be dived into, where the sun glimmers through to lead the way back to the top. And instead of pulling everything down to the bottom to drown, it all floats to the top and is able to breathe.

“Happy new year, Eddie,” Steve says quietly, letting this moment stay perfectly still.

. . .

Present Day, January 1987, Two Weeks Later

Steve is talking to someone on the phone. Which isn’t, like, a bad thing. Or a strange thing at all. Julie’s seen him talk on the phone a bunch of times, but not like this. Not with what can only be described as a dopey smile on his face and the way she’s never seen him like this before. And the laughter, giddy laughter. It’s unreal. Unusual.

Happy. Steve looks happy. Not to say that he wasn’t happy before, but not like this. But this time when he smiles, it actually reaches his eyes. Brightens them actually. Something that’s straight out of a shitty romcom. But real.

He has to be seeing somebody, Julie concludes. Has thought for a while now. She’s heard someone come into the house late at night, and Steve always seem to be a little bit happier on his days off. Like there’s been someone here when she isn’t. Or isn’t awake. That she’s being kept away from them.

Maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe Steve just wants to keep his relationship to himself for now. Do all of the introduction later. But she can’t help but want to know. Know why he’s keeping a secret, and if it’s because of her.

It’s stupid, she knows, but the voice keeps finding it’s way into her mind. Telling her repeatedly that Steve isn’t telling her because she won’t be here forever. That this is all still temporary, and he hasn’t done anything to change that. Then, neither has she. It’s hard to admit to someone that you want to stay. Especially when the other person has a whole life that Julie doesn’t know about.

She knows that Steve likes her, wants her to be here. But for how long, that is the question.

As Steve waves goodbye as he drops her off at school, she can’t help but feel like she’s asking too much. If she were to ask to stay permanently. He’s already given her so much, she can’t ask to take his life. She might not always feel like it, but she’s still a kid. A tie that holds people back, held her mom back.

She never showed it, but Julie knew. Deep down, she knew. Her mom would cancel dates when Julie got sick, or lost a job because she called out too many times. Stopped herself from going back to school and getting the degree she wanted. Doomed herself to waitress and secretary jobs, even if it made her miserable.

All for Julie. Always for Julie. Never for herself.

Julie didn’t want to tie Steve to the same fate. He was still young, only a few years older than her. He had the chance to be who he wanted to be, even if it meant leaving her. She didn’t want that. But if it made him happy. Well, why would she stop him. After everything he’s been through in life, he deserved to be happy.

“Dude, you need to let it go,” Lucas says to Dustin at the lunch table. The rest of the group has been eating with them more often. It’s been interesting, to say the least. Definitely louder.

Dustin rolls his eyes, saying a small hello when Julie sits down. “No, I don’t. He’s hiding something from me, and I know it.”

“Maybe you could respect another person’s boundary for once,” Max snaps, taking a bite of her food.

“I respect people’s boundaries,” Dustin gasps. Met with immediate disagreements from the rest of the table.

“What are we talking about?” Julie asks, taking a bite of her sandwich.

Mike rolls his eyes. “Steve, for no reason.”

“Dude that’s her brother.”

“My point still stands.”

“What about Steve?” Julie asks, not really wanting to.

Dustin turns toward her, already ready for a rant. “He’s hiding something. Like a someone,” he says with a face like Julie knows what he’s talking about.

Which she does, but it’s still annoying. “I thought we agreed you’d drop it until I knew something. He still hasn’t told me about it.”

Max interrupts, “you know about this?”

“Unfortunately,” Julie says the same time Dustin confidently says “Yes, she does.”

“And we agreed to let it go until Steve decides to share it with us. And by we, I mean him.” Julie points at Dustin.

Dustin huffs. “Well, that was before. This is now. Things have escalated.”

“Nothing has escalated,” Will says when Mike rolls his eyes again. “You’re just being dramatic.”

“Too dramatic,” Mike adds.

“And pushy,” Lucas says.

“It is his life,” El says. “It is up to him to share it with us. No matter how close we all are. We should not push it.” She shares a glance with her brother, silently communicating.

Max nods in agreement. “El’s right, nerd. Leave it alone. You know what happens when you push.”

“Things blow up.”

“Go to shit.”

“End pretty terribly.”

“Fine,” Dustin exclaims, crossing his arms.

. . .

Eddie lets himself into the house, immediately finding Steve in the kitchen. Days off are the only time they’re able to be together. Alone together. Not have to hide, to pretend. Just be themselves with each other, with no one else around.

It’s like a relief when they get to be together like this. Unashamed in his house, free. Like a weight lifts off his shoulders and he can just be. And not have to worry about the wrong person finding out, or someone finding out before it’s too soon. Just them, where Steve is happy and nothing else matters.

Steve presses into Eddie’s touch, pulling him in closer and melting into the touch of their lips. Tracing his hands at the hem of Eddie’s shirt, desperate to feel the skin of skin contact again. As if every time is the first time. Always having the same effect over and over again.

Because this still doesn’t feel real to Steve. It still doesn’t feel real that this can even happen for him. That he can be this happy in a house that caused him so much pain. This happy at all.

He still has times where he thinks that he doesn’t deserve this. That this is all just a phase, and it will pass. It has before, time after time. People tend to leave Steve, and he doesn’t want Eddie to leave. Never wants Eddie to leave. But after the person he’s been in the past, and the mess that he’s been in the present, he’s not so sure that it’s all set in stone. That the promises were written in sand near the shore, and as soon as the tide comes in, it will all go away.

The house will return to the lifeless whole it once was. Swallowing all that was good of Steve and leaving him empty. The life will be stripped away, the light will disappear. Everything that was good will become rotten and fall away. And Steve will sit on the stairs and wait for the door to open again.

He has to remind himself that these people are different. People who stay around Steve because they actually like him, and not just his money or his name. They won’t just leave him when he makes the wrong step. Won’t just abandon him. They aren’t his parents.

And when Eddie holds him like he won’t have the chance to do the same tomorrow, it only proves to him that this is real. That this isn’t going away, and Eddie won’t leave him without saying another word. How can a person hold someone like this if they want to leave? Steve doesn’t think that they can.

“Hey,” Eddie says when he pulls back. “I, uh, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Ok,” Steve says, for the first time not freaking out on the inside. “What about?”

Eddie steps back a little, letting there be a small gap between them. “About us, actually.”

His face is full of nervousness, one that Steve can’t quite read. Like a reflex, the anxiety starts to grow again. Like he’s back in that bathroom at the Halloween party and his heart’s about to break again. But it’s Eddie, Eddie wouldn’t hurt Steve. Not without a reason to. Has Steve given him a reason to?

“Oh,” Steve says shocked, trying his best not to freak out. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Eddie assures. “No, no. It’s nothing bad, I promise. I just, it’s just something that I thought we should start thinking about.”

A small breath of relief escapes Steve’s lungs, but the anxieties don’t leave fully quite yet.

“I thought that we should start talking about when to tell the others, about us. When you’re ready to, of course. But we can’t keep this hidden forever, and Dustin’s been giving me some really weird looks lately. And just got me thinking, that’s all.”

“You know I’m not ready to tell them, about me at least, yet. I can’t risk it right now.”

Eddie’s face twists. “What do you mean, can’t risk it? They wouldn’t just go around town telling people about us.”

Steve knows it’s true, knows that they wouldn’t intentionally say anything. But that’s what gets him every time his thinks about it. Intentionally. These kids are just kids, and sometimes they can’t stop themselves from talking. Not until the harm is done. He can’t risk harm being done. Not with how much he now has to lose.

It was different when he didn’t have Julie, didn’t have this impending lawsuit hanging over his head. Steve could risk a lot when it was just him that he had to worry about. When risking himself meant just that, risking himself. Now, if this got out, there’s no question that he would lose custody of Julie. She’d be taken from him and placed in another home that wouldn’t care for her. And there’s the possibility that she could never look him in the eye again. He couldn’t risk that.

With the lawsuit, he needs to be on his best behavior. He needs to show the courts that there was everything wrong with his parents and nothing wrong with him. He can’t give them any ammo to make the judge see him differently. Being in a relationship with a man, even if it’s a loving one, that would make or break his case. It might justify his parents’ actions, make him lose. Make him a fool. Ostracize him. Run him out of town.

“But if by some accident that they did, just by accident. I have so much I can lose now, Eds.”

It never bothered him before, not like this. The worry surrounding his brain and shutting out the logic. Making his thoughts race to every way things can go wrong. Seeing the face Julie would make when he betrayed her like this. Promised her everything just to rip it away again. Sees the headlines in the paper the day after court, how it would affect him in a way that is unimaginable. And yet he can picture it all so clearly.

“They’ve known about me for months Steve, they haven’t said anything. It’ll be ok.”

But him is different. With Eddie, his reputation already isn’t that great. Steve is known, for the most part, as the golden child of the rich family in town. Even if he is a dead beat that didn’t go to college and works as a manager at the local video store. The fact of the matter is that people would talk, rich snobby people with power that could do so much harm. This small-town gossip could follow him outside, keep trapping him back in this house.

“I have a reputation, Eddie. One that I don’t really care about, sure, but I can’t afford to ruin it-.”

“So, this is about reputation?” Eddie steps away from him, fully breaking their contact. Steve can sense Eddie pulling away, rebuilding his walls. The hurt finding it’s way to his eyes. “It’s always reputation with you people.”

Steve feels his heart start to crack. But he can fix this, he just has to explain himself.

“You know it’s not like that. When it was just me, I’d ruin everything if it meant being with you. But I can’t risk this getting out, not when Julie depends on me.”

“And I get that. But that is so far from what I’m asking.” His voice is thick with hurt. Hurt that Steve caused. “I just want to tell people that I’m with you. Is that so bad?”

“It is if it means that I lose her. This is more complicated than just you and me.” Steve can feel himself getting heated. Feel the anger start to bubble underneath his skin. The anxieties of his mind only addling kindling to the flame.

Eddie crosses his arms, his jaw clenching. “So, you’d rather hide forever instead of tell the people we love and trust that we’re in a relationship.”

“Don’t say it like that and make me feel bad about this. You know that I want to tell people eventually.”

“That just it,” Eddie raises his voice. “That stupid word eventually. Everyone loves to use that as if it’s a promise when really, it’s just a lie. When is eventually, Steve? Is it when you feel comfortable to come out? Or is it when you get full custody of Julie? Is it after you go to court with you’re parents? Is it when Julie turns eighteen and you can’t lose her anymore? Is it twenty years down the line when your precious reputation might not be tarnished anymore?”

Each word Eddie spits adds another brick to Steve’s defenses, protecting himself for what he knows is about to happen. “That is so far from what I am saying.”

“Are you ashamed of me? Be honest. I’d rather be hurt now then before this gets serious.”

“Is,” a lump starts to form in Steve’s throat. Awaiting the one word that could make him break. “Is this not serious for you?”

Eddie’s face falls. “Shit, no. Yes. I mean. Yes, this is serious. Serious that I want to tell people. But if. I’ve been hidden before, Steve, I don’t want to be hidden again.”

“So, you’d rather break up with me than wait for me to be ready?”

“No, that’s not. I just want to be able to stay the night without having to sneak in. I want to hold your hand when we’re hanging out with our friends. I want to be with you on days other than when no one else is in the house.”

Tears start to well in Steve’s eyes. His mind races to find an answer, to find something to say. All the words he can even think of get stuck in his throat. And those aren’t the right thing to say. He doesn’t have the right thing to say.

Steve can’t give Eddie what he’s asking for. Not now. Not in the immediate future.

Eddie is hurt, and for reasons that are valid. Steve is hiding him. Partially because he isn’t ready to tell the kids, and partially because this relationship can’t get out. Even when it can, he is still going to be hiding Eddie from everyone other than their friends. They will never be able to be a real couple, at least the kinds Steve has had in the past.

He knew that. Knew that their dates could never be too romantic so they wouldn’t get caught. Knew that any form of public affection couldn’t happen. Not in this town. They weren’t safe if people knew the truth. Steve already had enough things to worry about, maybe he didn’t need this to worry about too.

“Forget it,” Eddie interrupts Steve’s train of thoughts. “I shouldn’t have said anything. We’ll just, we’ll talk later. I’m gonna go.” He picks up his keys from the counter and walks down the hallway.

Just as he turns to leave, Steve knows that this is something worth fighting for. Them, their relationship. It was something that was real, and worth it. Maybe he can’t risk it now, but that doesn’t mean he can’t in the future. And he wants to tell the kids, he’s just not ready yet.

Eddie should understand that. Wouldn’t he?

“No, Eddie, wait. Let’s just talk about this, I-.” Steve tries to catch Eddie’s arm, but it gets pulled away.

“Steve, let me go. I just need to think, ok.” Eddie shuts the door behind him before Steve can say another word.

Steve leans his head on the door, a tear streaking down his cheek. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. It’s not supposed to end like this. Steve can’t go through this right now. Not before he’s able to tell Eddie how he feels. Tell the group about them. It’s supposed to work out this time.

But he left Steve. Alone in the house, again. Just like everyone did. And how everyone might do again. He’s never good enough for anyone to stay. Why would this time be different?

It’s an hour before he moves. An hour until he makes it to the hall phone and calls Robin, explains what happens. Twenty more minutes until she lets herself through the door and finds him crumpled on the floor. Five minutes until she’s ready to dig Eddie’s grave. Fifteen minutes until she’s helping Steve put himself back together again. With a constant reminder that she’s not leaving. Not ever. Telling him that the others won’t either. That this was just a fight. It wasn’t the end.

He can’t stop feeling like it is though.

. . .

Steve is silent as he drives Julie and Dustin home. Robin in the front seat, making conversation enough so that they don’t notice. But constantly looking over at Steve to check in on him. Make sure that he’s ok.

Julie notices. Hard not to when she’s had that same look on her face before. He’s putting on a good show, nodding along as Dusitn rants, looking engaged. But his eyes are blank, as if his mind is somewhere else completely.

She wonders if something happened with his parents again. If they called and reprimanded them through the phone. Or if something else happened. Maybe with the mystery person he’s been seeing. Even if she’s half-convinced that mystery person isn’t so mystery. But that isn’t her conclusion to make.

And it isn’t Dustin’s to make either, even if he keeps insisting that it’s right. Even if he is making eyes at Julie and nodding his head toward Steve. Trying to get her to ask the burning question. She’s not going to ask it. Not now. Now when she can see the blank look on his face. But Dustin can’t.

“So, meet anyone new recently Steve?” Dustin asks, not being subtle at all. Julie rolls her eyes, tempted to grab a notebook out of her bag and smack him over the head with it.

Robin groans and Steve leans his head further against the headboard. Julie glares at Dustin, trying to get him to drop it.

“What, it’s an innocent question,” he defends. Julie’s head falls into her hands.

“For the love of God, Dustin. Learn how to read the room, or car or, fuck this. I’m a lesbian, Dustin, we’re not dating. For the millionth fucking time,” Robin exclaims from the front seat.

Steve eyes widen as he turns to her, the first expression Julie’s seen him make the whole ride. Robin’s face slowly matches his, realizing what she just did. The car is excruciatingly silent, probably just for a few seconds, but it doesn’t feel like it.

“I-. That’s not,” Dusting starts, trying to figure out what he’s going to say. “Thank you for sharing that, I’m happy you told me. Even if it wasn’t what I was asking, like at all. But that actually makes a lot of sense, in hindsight.”

Robin clears her throat. “So, you don’t have a problem with it?”

“No, why would I have a problem with it? I don’t care who you date. Well, I do because you're my friend. But like, not who that person is, not really. “

“I don’t either,” Julie finds herself saying. “Care for you who date. As long as they treat you right and you’re happy. Not really much else to care about.”

Steve smiles softly, looking over at Robin who shares the same expression. He gives her a small thumbs up, staying silent otherwise.

“Well, thank you,” she says.

The rest of the car ride is silent, the mood shifted away from the tense moment. Dustin gets out of the car when they pull in front of his house. Giving up his investigation for today.

“I’m sorry about him,” Julie says when they pull away. “I tried to tell him to drop it.”

Robin snorts. “Yeah well, that never works as well as you think it will.”

“I can tell.”

When they get back home, Steve parks the car and unlocks the door. Heading upstairs to his room without another word.

“Is he ok?” Julie asks Robin.

Robin gives her a comforting smile. “He will be. Just a bad day.”

Julie nods as Robin heads upstairs to Steve’s room. Shutting the door gently behind her. Julie goes to the kitchen to do her homework. Her mind not really focusing on anything.

It keeps coming back to the car ride. Steve. Robin’s confession. How it really wasn’t that much of a surprise, not to her at least. She had a feeing that Robin was different than others. The same feeling she’s sort of been having about herself. But was always too afraid to say anything about it. Scared of what it meant. What would happen if people found out.

Maybe that’s why she was so defensive when Dustin brought it up at the Christmas Eve party. How his answer made her feel relief, not just for Steve, but for herself. That there might be a small hope that someone out there would accept her, if what she was feeling is true.

Then when Robin confessed in the car, it only made her more relieved. Steve accepted her, he knew. It’s not surprising that he did, they were pretty inseparable. But it was still nice to know that he would accept Julie too.

Because even though she’s still trying to figure it all out, it’s looking to be more and more like a fact. And it’s terrifying.

. . .

Steve walks into his house to find Eddie sitting in his living room. Normally he wouldn’t care. Normally it wouldn’t matter. But they haven’t talked in days, and it’s killing him. He’s mad. Angry. Sad. Guilty. He doesn’t know. He’s something, and he’s not sure if he’s ready to talk to Eddie just yet.

It’s not even that they just had a fight. Or maybe it is. Maybe it’s because of what their fight was. It was stupid, Steve was being stupid. At communicating at least. He still isn’t ready to tell the kids, even if he knows that two of them would accept it. But what he said is still true. This getting out would make everything worse right now. He can’t risk it.

Maybe that means they have to break up. Maybe that means they have to slow everything down and take a break from them. Eddie doesn’t deserve to feel hidden. It’s Steve’s fault that he is. This just wasn’t the right time for him. Steve has to accept that.

That’s why he isn’t ready for this. The farther he pushed away this conversation, the longer he can say that he and Eddie are together. The longer he’ll still be in the best relationship of his life. The one that he actually saw going for a long time. Forever, even. It’s stupid really, how hopeful he was. He knows he dives in to fast without checking for monsters in the water. But this time he thought it was safe waters. But he guesses it wasn’t.

“Hey,” Eddie says when Steve walks through the door. Standing from the couch. “You’re dressed fancy.”

Fancy was a nice button down with slacks. “Yeah, I had that meeting with the lawyer today. Remember,” he crossly says.

Eddie looks down ashamed. “Yeah, I did. I showed up and you were already gone. I thought you wanted me to go with you.”

“That’s before you left.”

It’s the part that hurt the worst. Out of all of this. Eddie left. Just like his parents. Instead of staying to fix this, to work it out, he left Steve stranded at his front door. Unable to move. Unable to feel. Just frozen. Waiting for the door to open again and for the person who left return. For the person he loved to come back.

Eddie wasn’t his parents. But it didn’t matter. Not to his mind. In that moment, his returned to the kid that was left at every important moment in his life. And even the unimportant. Back to the kid that was a disappointment for just existing. Not meeting expectations. By not being perfect. He wasn’t the perfect partner for Eddie, so he left.

“I went with Robin instead, so I wasn’t alone,” he says with more venom in his voice than he intended. But it was justified.

Eddie looks hurt, Steve wanted him to. But it still hurt to see. “You’re mad. You have every right to be.”

“Yeah, I do. You left Eddie. You left me.” Steve feels tears start to gloss over his eyes. “After everything you knew, you still left.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. I should have just walked around your backyard or something. Sat in another room. Not left.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

It’s silent between them. Neither of them really knowing what to say. Steve wants to accept his apology, but it still feels like every apology he’s ever gotten. Cheap and hollow, never enough substance to it to make it true.

Eddie runs a hand down his face. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I was. Triggered, I guess, by some of the things you said. Sounded like every other guy I’ve been with. But you’re not like them, I shouldn’t have treated you like you were.”

“There’s so much more at stake here than my reputation. I can’t let this get out, even if I was ready to tell people. And if you can’t deal with that, can you at least just tell me now.” Steve can hear his voice breaking. He wants to stop it but can’t. “Why did you even show up today? You clearly didn’t want to talk to me.”

“But that didn’t mean I wasn’t still going to be there for you. And I can deal with it. I just couldn’t in that moment, but it passed, and I realized how much of an idiot I was being. Just because we had a fight doesn’t mean that I was going to forget the promises I made you.”

Steve swallows the lump in his throat. “Why?”

“Because I love you,” Eddie confesses with one breath. “I love you and I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. It scares the hell out of me. I’ve never been in love before, not like this and I. I didn’t want to lose you, so I did what I do best and ran. Away from the argument and from you.”

Eddie walks up to Steve, and Steve lets him touch him. Let’s him cup his face with his hand and run his thumb across Steve’s cheek. It’s easy for Steve to fall into the touch, having missed it for days. “I promise to never run from you again.”

“Why you’d not talk to me for days?”

“Cause I thought you didn’t want to see me. Like you said, I left. I couldn’t face the fact that I hurt you like that.”

Steve closes his eyes. “Yeah, you did. But you also came back. And I didn’t blame you, not for what you said. It was true. I was, am hiding you.”

“And I’m ok with that. For now, until the dust settles, and until you’re ready. I’m sorry for making you feel like I wasn’t. This is too special to me to break this easily.”

The tears finally escape from Steve’s eyes, rolling down his cheeks. Eddie wipes them away, a few tears of his own finding their way down his cheeks. Eddie pulls Steve in for a hug, and it feels like home. Only making Steve break more.

“Thank you for coming back,” Steve whispers into Eddie’s hair when he calms down. “I’m sorry that I made you feel like you couldn’t.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. Nothing, you hear me. This was my mistake. I know that.”

Steve pulls away. “No, but it was also mine. I, I know that people have hurt you in the past and it was because they made you feel like nothing. I don’t want to make you feel like nothing.”

“And you don’t. I promise that you don’t. Sneaking in at night sucks, but then I get into bed with you, and it makes everything worth it. This, us, is so important to me.”

“Maybe you don’t have to sneak in every night. Maybe some nights you can just ‘stay over’ in the guest room and then sneak one door over. Instead of coming over at midnight.”

Eddie smiles. “That would work for me. But seriously, we don’t say a thing until you’re ready. That’s a promise I swear I won’t break.”

“I love you too,” Steve blurts out. “I didn’t say it before. But it’s true. I’ve been just as scared about it as you have.”

Eddie kisses him softly. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

. . .

When Julie parks her bike, Eddie’s leaving the driveway. Waving to her on the way out. She waves back, heading inside.

Steve is back to himself again. Wandering around the kitchen in sweats, singing softly to the classic rock station on the radio. He smiles at her when she enters, offers to make her a snack. She refuses, not that hungry.

It’s strange how this place felt so foreign to her a few weeks ago. How the walls felt claustrophobic and everything around her was just crushing. But it’s better now, she’s better now. Still sad, but better. And this place felt like home. Her home. She didn’t want it to go away like the last one.

“Could I talk to you about something?” Julie forces herself to ask before she loses the nerve. Before she just runs to her room and locks herself on a blanket of insecurities again.

“Sure,” Steve says. “What’s up?”

Julie picks at her thumb. “I just. Me living here is still temporary, right?”

Steve’s face drops a bit as he leans on the island. “From a paperwork standpoint, yeah. Why do you ask?”

It’s so stupid that this affects her. That her thinking that Steve not sharing his relationship with her means that he doesn’t want her here. But it’s a part of his life. She wanted to be here for the good and the bad. And it felt like the good was being kept from her. As if she had a right to know it. But it still hurt a little.

“I just. This is so dumb. But you’re terrible at hiding things and I’ve heard someone come in the house pretty much every night for the past month at midnight on the dot. And I can’t help but feel like you’re hiding it from me. Like them meeting me is too much. Like you don’t want me here.”

It sounds more stupid when she says it out loud. But it’s true.

“I do want you here,” Steve says softly. “I really do. You living with me isn’t temporary to me, it’s just a long process to make it that way. And we haven’t really talked about what the steps would be past just me getting guardianship. But if you want to, we can start talking about getting permanent custody.”

A weight lifts itself from Julie’s shoulders. “Yes, yeah. I’d like that. I’d like to stay here, with you.”

Steve smiles. “Good. Me too. As for the other thing. I am seeing someone, but it’s,” he takes a breath. “It’s a bit more complicated than just telling you. I’m not really ready to tell anyone about it yet, it’s not just you. But if them coming over without you knowing is making you uncomfortable, it can stop.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I really don’t care. I just. When you are ready, you can tell me who it is. I won’t judge you or anything.”

“I know you won’t. Is that what Dustin was on in the car the other day? He knows too?”

Julie groans. “Yes. I swear I told him to drop it, but he is convinced that something’s up. I can’t get him to stop talking about it.”

Steve snorts. “Yeah, well, that’s Dustin for you.”

“I’ve learned.”

Steve walks around the island, giving Julie a hug. “How about we talk to Sarah about making this permanent at the next inspection. We can start on the whole process.”

“That sounds good.”

“Hey,” Steve crouches down a bit to get on her level. “You’re my sister, and I love you. That’s not a temporary thing, ok.”

Julie smiles. “Ok.”

She pulls out her homework from her bag and gets started, already wanting to pull her hair out with her math homework. Steve gets started on dinner, distracting her with some work stories from the previous day. It all is making her feel at home. Real home.

Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet, @steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy, @connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @cheddartreets, @theupsidedownrealestateagent, @acidbubblegummie, @sirsnacksalot, @l0st-strawberry, @helpimstuckposting, @strawberry-starss, @freddykicksasses, @italianwhore1, @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window, @rageagainsttheapathy, @nuggies4life, @ape31, @whimsicalwitchm, @chrissycunninghamfanblog, @michellegilligan, @hippielittlemetalhead, @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale, @jaytriesstuff, @confused-stripes, @faeb1tch42069, @marklee-blackmore, @hel-spawn, @genderless-spoon, @mamafaithful, @estrellami-1, @starryeyedpoet17 @i-amthepizzaman, @lilpomelito @melonmochi

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #julie lawson #dustin henderson #max mayfield #el hopper #lucas sinclair #mike wheeler #will byers #steddie #stranger things fanfic #fanfic #long lost/secret sibling #steve has a sibling #i don't know which ways home fic

[eightsevenths]

eddie loves the sun.

pairing, steve harrington x eddie munson

length, 3.7k

warnings, first kiss, mutual idiot pining, jealousy, happy ending

read now (under the cut) or on ao3

Eddie wasn’t sure he was in love with Steve. I mean, yeah, he had had the question rolling around in his padded cell of a brain for a couple of months, but nothing was set in stone. 

It’s just that like, see, Steve? He’s everything. Like not just Eddie’s everything, although he is, but it’s just like not that big of a deal because it’s become a fact; his life revolves around Steve. And he hadn’t considered that ever being a problem, until now.

Now, or the moment of Eddie’s masochistic nightmares, had Eddie burning holes through the back of some dark-haired anonymous threat who had all of Steve’s attention. Attention which up until earlier tonight, Eddie had sort of bet would be his to roll around in. 

Just as everyone was piling into Steve’s dark red beauty, he catches Eddie’s arm. His grip tightens on the leather and Eddie looks at him, Steve’s got a look like spun sugar in his eyes, the multiple clear shots that had slid down a little too easily probably the cause, and he licks his lips- that are... glittery? Is he wearing lipgloss? Eddie doesn’t have time to unpack the gut blow that is that sight- 

“I’ve been thinking,” Eddie smiles at the sound of his voice, “maybe it’s time for me to get out there again.” 

He’s not proud of the way his face falls. 

“Uh,” he clears his throat and looks around, anywhere but Steve’s stupid brown eyes, “You mean like, uh, dating? Or just,” he can’t get the words out like they physically won’t exit his body which is like the exact opposite of his usual problem. 

Steve seems to understand the trailing off and nods, even adding a little tilt to his head like a fucking gunshot to Eddie’s chest, “Yeah like it’s been a while and, I-I don’t know maybe it’s the next logical step?” His buttery soft voice phrased everything like a question, forcing false hope down eddies throat, which has led to him trying to flush it out with bleach all night. 

Logical step. Logical step. Logical step. 

It is the drum beat thudding in his heart, the headache hammering the coffin nails over his heart, the feeling of the bass coming from where Steve is dancing near the speakers with a body that is not his (Note: the guy is wearing LOAFERS in a fucking bar for god sake.), it is the thing that will no doubt keep him up every night until something changes, until he isn’t a coward and doesn’t keep every feeling deeper than content to himself.

Maybe he should say something. To someone at least. He doesn’t like his chances of getting Steve off the dance floor right now.

So, he settles for Steve's un-biological twin.

“Hey Buckley,” he kind of has to shout over the speakers but she turns from Nancy to face him. They’re all sat in a worn leather booth and with Robin’s attention on him, he has also gained Nancy’s. “and, Wheeler, of course,” he winks, “uh- what do you guys think when you hear the term uh, ‘logical step?”

He should’ve expected confused faces meeting that very obviously something topic of conversation.

Nancy settles back into her seat, regarding Eddie with one of her very scrutinising gazes. 

“So, what did Steve say? ‘Logical step’? I need the context to give you any advice,”

“I actually wasn’t asking for advice-“ I mean he was never going to be able to make Nancy see that but he did need to clarify he was not looking for advice, he was perfectly fine figuring things out, 

“Well, you need it.”

“Clearly.” Buckley finished eloquently. And Nancy is smiling like the winner of an argument Eddie didn’t realise he was a part of. 

And shit. Maybe they’re right. 

After a minute of Eddie staring off into the distance and hoping some magical mystical force would help him the fuck out, he relents and turns back to them. 

“Okayyyy. I want to ask you a question first. Then I’ll explain, deal?”

Robin shakes his hand, Nancy nods like a mob boss and Eddie once again is left thinking she could totally kill him and get away with it. She’s cool. (Read: Nancy is only scary until she is looking at Robin with ooey gooey eyes and she’s like a happy kitten.)

“When regarding me and Steve and our friendship,” Robin cuts him off with a scoff, he levels her with a look before carrying on, “What do you think is the next ‘logical step’?”

Buckley’s looking right through him, probably telepathically communicating with Steve. Eddie looks over at Steve and he’s still where he was, eyes closed hands up dancing like he is completely unaware of anything around him, it simultaneously stresses Eddie out beyond comprehension and also makes him so turned on that he thinks his heart might stop. So much for a nice night out. 

Nancy watches his ringed fingers pick at the label on his beer, “I think, from an outsider, you and Steve have always had something.” He makes the mistake of looking up at her, her gaze steady on him when she speaks, “To me, the next logical step would be for something to happen between you: if it hasn’t already.”

His hair hits his face when he shakes his head, “No, no, no, nothing, nothing’s ever happened.” When he laughs it sounds hollow and empty and he needs to swallow down Nancy’s words. 

She’s right, right? Like when has Nancy ever been wrong, first of all, and it just confirms what he’s already thinking, what he’s been thinking.

They must read this on his face, so Robin asks, “So what is the context of this conversation? Because it seems to me like you’re agreeing with Nance and you’re still not good?” 

So he begins, reminds them of the start of the night and how after they had all finished getting ready for the bar Steve had stopped him outside the car, “And then he said that he thinks it’s the next ‘logical step’ and I've been wracking my fuckin’ brain trying to figure out what the hell that means, for me, I mean like what does that do to us?”

“He said this and just left it?”

He nods. 

The brunette grins, the blonde sighs, 

“W-What does this mean? Wha- is it good? Is it bad? Wh-“

“Eddie, breathe, dude.”

Good point. 

His chest inhales and they wait to talk more until after he exhales and calms down a bit. 

“Listen, I don’ know if he wants me to say anything and usually I wouldn’t but sometimes Steve has a habit of getting rid of anything good for himself before it happens and occasionally, I have no choice but to intervene.” Robin takes a sip of her beer before continuing, “Having said that and designating this one of those moments, yeah: he’s totally gone for you. Honestly, I’d bet this is a game to him, probs tryna get your attention.” Then she leans over and sips from Nancy’s drink.

Whilst Eddie’s brain implodes on itself and causes mass destruction, millions dead kinda thing, Robin returns the bottle back to her lips and looks away like the conversation is over, which causes Nancy to start giggling to herself.  

“I think what Robin said was totally right and obvious, but to help you out because sometimes you guys need it spelt out for you: make yourself the logical step.”

“Is it that easy?”

“It can be.”

/

The music in this place was crappy. But Eddie knew that if he said that aloud it would prompt Steve's indignant argument of ‘you’re such a music snob oh my god-‘, which was always paired with him doing an Eddie impression which was as hot as it was adorable. The only reason he was even aware of the music all of a sudden was because he was walking through the dance floor, walking was generous he was kind of pushing and sometimes dodging melting pairs of bodies. 

If he focused, he would probably be able to tell his shoes were sticking to the covered-in-Something floor and the actual amount of humans in such a small place, but Eddie found if he could find something worth all of his focus and attention it was actually harder to be distracted. It should’ve been a sign when all of his old hyper fixations weren’t as bright anymore and how his head kept unconsciously turning to the sunbeam sat in the corner.

Sunbeam was now suddenly in his eye line, and he feels like he’s just done a marathon and seen the finish line, like he finally found the destination it had taken three hours to search the woods for, and it was completely worth it. 

As much as he would’ve lacerated the guy with a switchblade an hour ago, the brunette Steve is talking to (still) isn’t as much of a threat anymore. Don’t get him wrong he’s still imagining sixteen different ways to puncture a lung that’s quick enough for him to run from, but after his intervention with the girls, he knows that what him and Steve have is something and it is not all in his head anymore, holy-fucking thank you, god. 

At this point, the pair are stood facing each other at the bar and Steve has his back to Eddie so he doesn’t see him approaching. His feet carry him closer until he’s finally behind Steve. He knows how jumpy Steve can get, in loud places and his ears are never that great anyway so Eddie lets his arms curve up Steve’s back as he comes into view.

Steve doesn’t even flinch, which shocks Eddie. The younger man can see the question already forming behind Eddie’s eyes, so he leans up towards Eddie’s ear, “Felt your rings.” 

His voice is raspy, and Eddie has to focus his eyes because Steve’s voice just does things to him, especially if he’s going to act like this. Fuckin’ tantalising little kitten fuck. 

His hands fall to Steve’s waist and he almost freezes when Steve leans into him. He takes a second to breathe and refocus, remembering what he came here for, and yet so painfully aware of how desperately he needs this to go right. Knowing how important it is he plays his cards right. 

He knows Steve.

“So, who’s your friend?” Eddie smiles sharply at the guy now assessing this new person interrupting, he bites back a pleased look when the guy looks intimidated. It shouldn’t be this easy for him to get jealous over someone an hour ago he thought he would just be friends with for the rest of his life. Eddie is fucking blind, clearly.

Steve is looking up at him like he wants to fucking devour Eddie, how drunk is he? Eddies eyes look over to the beer, Steve’s second one which he only knows because he’s been watching him like a hawk, and its half full. So not drunk at all. Oh?

He licks his lips and replies, stretching a hand out towards mystery man, “Oh this is Adam, he is uh into, uh- Engineering?” Steve’s head tilts, clearly looking for help at the guy, whose eyes are wide as saucers at this point.

“Economics.”

“Oh, Economics, of course, I'm so sorry!” Steve is a terrible actor. Eddie loves Steve. 

The three of them all know the conversation, if there even was any, is over now. Eddie gives them an out, asking if he can speak to Steve privately and, considering if he asked Steve couldn’t probably tell him the guy's name, he comes easy. 

Robin keeps her head down as they pass and Nancy shoots Eddie a wink as he leads Steve out the back door with a hand on the small of his back. A warm pressure, grounding and promising. 

A warm evening greets them on their way out, they settle against a wall, still close. Eddie’s mind is racing, when is it not, and every second he is reminded that he thinks Steve is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Gazing at his side profile, his strong jaw and full lips which have remnants of glitter, the freckles and moles on every slip of visible golden skin, eyelashes that flutter over to Eddie giving him a look he feels is similar if not more knowing. 

“So, you wanted to talk more privately with me?” pink lips stretch into an easy grin and Eddie throws his head back, partly exasperated and partly completely into it. Eddie loves Steve.

He looks back down to the angel. “Yeah, just wanted to catch up, how you been?” his voice deepens without his consciousness, playing into the joke.

His partner almost looks shocked but falls right into his role. “Oh, how nice of you to check in!” he steps closer, tipping his chin up at Eddie, “Well I’ve been feeling a little lonely actually.” Full-on pouting and pretending Eddie’s dick isn’t rock hard at this point. 

One thing he never predicted was to have the upper hand, sexually, on Steve Harrington. And he probably doesn’t but, Eddie knows what he wants. Has memorised how he looks with pleading eyes just to get what he wants and how he practically melts if he’s cuddled the right way or how his headspace changes if he’s held anywhere on his neck. This all melds into, Eddie knows how Steve thinks he wants this to play out and he knows how he actually wants it to.

“Oh yeah? That’s interesting,” Eddie slowly backs Steve against the wall adjacent, “because I’ve been feeling pretty abandoned all night,” Steve looks like he's about to argue, so Eddie puts a ringed, tattooed finger up to his lips pushing ever so slightly, “and I came here thinking I was gonna spend some time with you, maybe just buy you a drink. You see how that makes me feel? Did you think about how I would feel when you were talking to some fuck-head wearing loafers in a bar.”

That elicits a giggle from Steve and it vibrates on Eddie’s finger before he pulls it away, he relaxes into the wall and lets Eddie cage him in. Eddie loves Steve. 

“Or was it all part of your plan? Tryna get me jealous, Stevie?” he looks down at Steve’s lips, they part as he speaks.

“And if I was?” 

Their bodies move towards each other, magnetic forces pulling them into one and everything is Steve. Eddie can smell his shampoo, his cologne and the beer, can feel his strong arms beside him and the heat radiating off him like he’s actually familiar with the sun. 

He is irresistible and a temptation from sinful gods and Eddie would make wings out of wax to get too close and burn and fall a million times over. Eddie loves Steve. Eddie is in love with Steve.

“Well then I’d say it worked, but only because I was already in love with you, Steve.”

Steve’s whole face drops and there's a flash of an angry look before strong hands are on Eddie’s face yanking him down into Steve’s. There's a split second of confusion that immediately dissolves into a Greek chorus of ‘yes yes yes’ in Eddie’s mind. 

The kiss is undeniably hot, Steve is moving his tongue in ways he should be worshipped for and mewling like a goddamn kitten every time Eddie nips at his lips. Opening up so pretty for Eddie to explore, taste and Eddie is lost in him. 

He meets the hand winding in his hair with a groan into the younger man’s mouth, another hand pressing nails into his back. It’s wet and noisy and fucking delicious, he can’t ever imagine stopping or having enough. 

One of his own ringer hands finds it threading between silky brown tendrils and Eddie has been dying to do this from the moment he got close with Steve; he brings his hand from the nape of Steve’s neck and grabs a handful and just pulls.

Steve’s mouth pulls away from his, spit glistening on both of their panting mouths, letting out a filthy moan which Eddie licks from his mouth. His neck bared, allowing his head to be moved however Eddie decides. Heavy lidded gaze and Steve just waits. Silent and panting and keeping eye contact, breath quickening when Eddie begins to speak. 

“We need to leave now, yeah?” 

It’s not Eddie in control when Steve nods his head roughly. 

Eddie is in love with Steve.

Steve is in love with Eddie.

Eddie is going to ruin Steve.

- notes, thanks for reading hope you enjoyed!

#steddie #eddie munson #steddie smut #steve harrington #steddie fic #steve harrington x eddie munson #eightsevenths 📓 #steve harrington and eddie munson #steve harrington fic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x steve harrington

[chaotic-super]

Joining The Superfriends - 21

Read it on AO3 here!

Well, Lena’s screwed.

Nia probably is too since Lena let her fall asleep over sixteen hours ago and she’s been unable to wake her up since. She’s been checking her pulse regularly and her breathing seems completely normal but she’s just not reacting when Lena tries to wake her up, it’s like she’s in some kind of a coma.

At first, Lena was just convinced that she must be finally getting some decent sleep and her body is just catching up on the sleep she’s been missing out on but she doesn’t seem to be having regular sleep cycles, her eyes never reactive when Lena checks them and she doesn’t respond to any kind of external stimulus at all.

Lena’s still holding out hope that Nia will wake up soon enough though and is actively working on figuring out what her dream might mean, working her way through book after book until she has a general idea of what it could potentially mean.

A light knock at the door interrupts Lena’s pacing. She’s been doing it for a while now and she’s actually gotten very good at reading while pacing, knowing exactly how many steps in each direction she can take before she has to turn around and walk in the other direction.

Lena looks up from her current reading material to see Supergirl in all of her glory leaning against the doorframe. “Hey, Lena. How is everything going in here? Have you been in here all day?”

Marking her page with a post-it note, Lena closes the book she was just reading and tosses it down onto the table, not flinching when it lands with a thump.

“Careful, you’ll wake sleeping beauty over there.” Kara nods to Nia, who is still leaning against the desk, head down and eyes closed.

Lena rubs at her eyes with a hand, wiping away her own fatigue in harsh movements that make Kara’s eyes hurt just from watching her. “No, she won’t. I can’t wake her up.”

“What do you mean?” Kara’s only reaction is a frown, her face otherwise composed but it doesn’t fool Lena, she can see the panic in the way she gulps and the way her hands ball into fists at her side.

“I was helping her, she’s been having a reoccurring dream that’s been keeping her up at night so she’s barely slept the past few days but when I went to go and fetch Nia’s books for her, I came back here and found her exactly how she is now, fast asleep. That was sixteen hours ago. Her breathing and pulse are both fine but she’s not waking up.”

Despite Lena telling her that she’s not waking up, Kara’s trying it anyway, she has to see for herself. She walks over to Nia’s sleeping form and picks her up with ease until she’s lying across the table, at which point Kara stands over her, grabs her shoulders and shakes her without an ounce of delicacy.

Lena knows that Nia isn’t going to wake up but she does hope and she can’t help but hold her breath as Kara shakes her, waiting to see if there’s a reaction.

There’s not.

“Nia! Nia, wake up!” Kara tries again, disappointed when she, once again, gets no response.

“I tried that already. I do think she’s just sleeping but I didn’t think she’d sleep for this long, maybe we should get Alex and Brainy in here, Alex can check her over properly and Brainy might have more insight into what’s happening.”

“Good idea. I’ll take her to the med bay though, Alex will be able to make sure she’s alright there. Can you go and get them both? I think they’re in the kitchen making coffee.” Kara slips her hands beneath Nia’s body, lifting her up tenderly and being careful to not jolt her too much as she carried her out of the room, Lena hot on her heels.

They part when they get to the med bay, Lena rushing off rapidly while Kara continues on inside, lying Nia down on the bed in there and doing the only thing she knows how to do, placing the heart rate monitor and starting it up. The only reason she knows how it works is because of how many times she’s watched Alex use it on her but hey, at least she’s learned something through all of the times she’s taken a punch or two.

Alex, Brainy and Lena are rushing in just as she’s finishing up with the wires.

“What’s going on?” Brainy rushes to Nia’s side, scooping her hand up between his and holding it to his chest tightly.

Kara steps away from Nia to give Alex room to get close to her and set up the rest of the equipment she needs. “Um, Lena says she’s been asleep for sixteen hours now and she’s not showing any signs of waking up soon.”

“Why are we only learning about this now? If she’s been asleep for that long then we should have been told about this hours ago.” Alex pins her harsh, protective gaze onto Lena, her accusation making Lena suddenly question her decision to wait it out and see if Nia would wake up on her own.

“I thought she was just sleeping for a long time because she’s not slept properly in days, I thought she’d wake up on her own and didn’t want to tell you in case it was normal so as not to disclose the information Nia entrusted me with.”

Alex shakes her head. “Secrets are not more important than the health of the team.”

“I’m sorry.” Lena ducks her head. “I didn’t want to betray her trust.”

“I know,” Alex says, her focus now on Nia rather than on holding the conversation with Lena. “Brainy, you can stay but Lena and Kara, you guys head out, I need the space to check her over, we’ll fill you in when we know more.”

“But—” Kara goes to argue but the sharp look she gets stabbed with from Alex has her quietening down and taking one last worried look at her friend on the bed before heading out. “Ok, we’ll wait upstairs.”

Lena doesn’t want to leave, she wants to stay and see what test results Alex gets from Nia but based on the spiky glare she was getting before and the quick dismissal she and Kara just got, she’s not welcome here.

She knows she messed up by not telling anyone that she couldn’t wake Nia up but really, her name is literally Dreamer, how is she meant to know when something is terribly wrong as opposed to Nia just doing what she does best, dream?

Kara pulls Lena out with her by her hand, her fingers squeezing around Lena’s in what she hopes to be a reassuring manner. “Come on, how about we get you some coffee? You look like you need it.”

“Yeah, ok.” Lena barely registers what Kara’s saying, too in her head about her choice to just see if Nia would wake up on her own instead of having Alex, a trained medical professional, look her over.

“Lena, look at me.” Kara senses that Lena’s not really listening and she needs her to be with her, mentally rather than just physically. “Look at me.”

Lena does, her eyes glistening as she fights back her tears at how bad she feels now. “I’m sorry, Kara. I didn’t mean for her to be like this, I thought she was just asleep.” 

“I know, and that’s why you need to listen to me, Lena. We will fix this and Nia will be just fine, we always find a way and this is no different. I need you to tell me exactly what’s going on with Nia though so we can help, can you do that?” Kara holds eye contact with Lena, not letting her break it by carefully pressing a finger beneath her chin when she tries to duck her head. “I know that you were just trying to help and I’m not going to fault you for that.”

Lena’s chin wobbles, her bottom lip quivering in time with it. “Maybe you should. I can’t believe that I actually sat beside her for that long convincing myself that she would be fine, I should have known, I should have sensed that something was wrong but I just let it keep going and going. Who knows how long I would have sat there with her comatose beside me if you hasn’t come in and taken over.”

Kara’s hands move to Lena’s shoulders. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Let’s get that coffee and go over all the information we have and then we can go from there.”

Lena nods, her way of doing things is clearly flawed so it’s better if they go with Kara’s plan now rather than her own. “Alright.”

-

Lena watches Kara carefully. She focuses on the way her lips purse as she reads over the books Lena herself was reading not too long ago and she maps out the contours of the lines on her forehead with her mind, her vision digging into each crease and wishing she could smooth them out.

With a huff, Kara shuts the book she’s reading. “I’m not really sure what we can do from here, Lena. The dream itself isn’t too complicated but we can’t narrow down the meaning when we can’t make a proper match between what she saw and what’s written here and then what we can find, there seem to be multiple options for what they could mean. That’s without taking the reoccurring factor into account.”

“I know, I spent hours trying to figure it out too, all I could gather from it is that most of the sign point to it being related to an upcoming event and it must be big or at least important for it to be reoccurring how it is.”

Kara sighs heavily, picking up her coffee mug and taking a sip only to pull away in disgust when she realizes that it’s long since gone cold. “Ew.” With a quick blast of heat vision, her coffee is once again steaming hot.

Lena holds out her mug and Kara takes the hint, using a second blast of her heat vision to warm hers up too. “Maybe we should stop focusing on what her dream was and focus on what her dream is now.”

“What do you mean?” A crinkle forms between Kara’s eyes and it takes everything in Lena not to reach out with a finger and press down on the flesh to smooth it out.

Lena takes a deep breath, rerunning the logic through her head to make sure she’s not about to talk out of her ass in front of Kara. “Ok, so, hear me out. What if the reason Nia isn’t waking up is because she’s dreaming? Sounds pretty logical, right? So, if she is dreaming, there’s a good chance that it’s a different dream from before because her other dream was keeping her awake while this one is making her sleep, it’s two ends of the spectrum, too little and too much, we need to get inside of her head to see what’s happening.”

Kara’s face doesn’t change throughout her messy explanation and not for a good thirty seconds afterwards either, finally, she opens her mouth to speak, closing it again a moment later and thinking for a bit longer before coming up with something to say. “That’s a good theory.”

“Do you think it’s worth looking into?”

Kara nods. “I do and I know how to do it too.” Without further prompting, Kara makes quick work of setting all of Nia’s books into a relatively neat pile and then heads for the door, stopping to look back over her shoulder and beckon Lena to follow her. “You coming?”

Lena rushes to her feet, almost tripping as she finds her balance and ups her pace to catch up with Kara’s long, confident strides. “Where are we going?”

“The med bay.”

Lena can barely keep up with Kara, her strides far too determined for Lena’s uncertain gait.

“Alex, we’ve got a plan!” Kara announces their presence, “Brainy, I need that weird forehead thing you used to see into my mind when we first met and I need you to make it so Lena and I can go into her dream.”

Brainy frowns, “I think that if anyone is going into Nia Nal’s dreams, it should be me.”

“Are you caught up on all of the things that have been happening in her dreams recently?” Kara challenges.

Brainy hesitates, his hands still cradling Nia’s. “Well, no.”

“Then it has to be us, there’s too much stuff to catch you up on so we need you to just do whatever you can to make this happen so we can try and figure out what in the world is happening to Nia.” Kara moves over to Alex. “Have you found anything on any of the tests? Anything that might show why she’s like this?”

Alex looks down at Nia, sadness evident on her face. “No, I haven’t but she is stable.” She turns to Lena. “Hey, sorry I snapped at you.”

“Don’t worry about it, I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t.”

Brainy breaks through the moment, not letting them argue over something he deems insignificant when his girlfriend is lying prone on a bed in the med bay. “I’ll be right back, I have the device in storage still and I believe that it will only take me approximately eight minutes to repurpose it so you can enter her dreams.”

“Alright, we’ll go over the test results again just to be sure while you go and do that then, Brainy,” Lena says, a little worried about her plan now that they are actually going through with it and needing the reassurance of the tests to tell her that Nia is healthy enough that she can cope with having her and Kara’s consciousness darting around in her head for a little while.

Alex doesn’t put up much of a fuss at Lena wanting to double-check the results, she can tell by the apprehension clinging to her bones that Lena needs to see them for her own peace of mind rather than because she doesn’t trust her judgement and skills.

Lena takes the tablet Alex offers her and immediately notices that she has a lot of brain activity and that all of her stats are completely fine. That’s good news. “I hope this works.”

“Me too but why do you need to see her dream if she already told you what it is?”

“I think it’s a different one and I need to see it because I think that something terrible is going to happen and it’s going to happen sooner than we want it to,” Lena says, trying to rid the panic from her chest and ground herself before they get on with what they need to do.

Kara takes a seat beside Nia after pulling up a couple of chairs to the side of the bed. Of all of the strange things that she’s done over the years of her being Supergirl, this is going to be up there with the weirdest because seriously, she’s about to go into somebody else’s dream.

She’s had Brainy in her head before and Alex in her black mercy induced dream but to go into somebody else’s feels personal on a level that makes her a bit uneasy. It makes her feel like she’s invading Nia’s privacy a bit but as of yet, she hasn’t come up with any other ideas of how to help get Nia out of her comatose state so they are going to have to go through with Lena’s plan.

It doesn’t take a genius to see how much Lena is beating herself up because she didn’t instinctively know that Nia was in a bad way, how could she? Nia was just asleep, something that everyone sees on a regular basis since she’s always napping around The Tower and it makes sense that Lena would think that she’s just sleeping for a while to catch up on sleep after barely catching a wink for several days in a row. Kara just wishes she could say something to make Lena feel better. Maybe if the plan works it will help to alleviate some of the guilt that Lena is riddled with.

Those few minutes that Brainy is off sorting out his device to make it compatible with their situation feel like hours because they don’t have a lot to say, their worry for Nia palpable and their brains refusing to do them the service of allowing them to make small talk. It’s probably a good thing really, they would end up feeling bad for talking about the weather in a situation like this once it’s over anyway.

Brainy does appear not long after, with a confident swagger to his walk now that he has his mind partially occupied on his work rather than Nia’s wellbeing.

“I have recalibrated these devices so that you can enter her dream seamlessly. I have added an inbuilt distress signal so that I can pull you out if you need me to, this device will let me know when you want to come out anyway and I can remotely put you under. For safety, I would suggest you both be monitored the entire time you’re in Nia’s dreams. You will also wake up naturally if the dream comes to a natural end. That’s what we’re hoping for.”

“Ok, that sounds good,” Kara says, urging Lena to come and take a seat next to her by gently tugging on her sleeve.

Lena clasps onto the edge of Kara’s cape, nervous but trusting in Brainy and his device. He’s a smart guy and they have Alex watching over them too. This should be fine.

Brainy and Alex start surrounding them, working like a well-oiled machine as they set up the devices on their foreheads, a long, white bar of an item with wires coming off of it and then adding more wires around their bodies to track their stats while they are under, mostly just tracking brain activity, heart rate and blood pressure.

Lena tries not to fidget as Alex carefully sticks wires and electrodes onto her, repositioning them where she has to and being gentler than Lena has ever seen her be. She’s been told about Alex’s past as a doctor but she’s never really seen her in practice properly. It’s a nice surprise and it leaves her with no doubts that Alex was a good doctor, it’s almost a shame she quit being one but she does a lot of good as a badass vigilante too. A doctor, a secret agent and a superhero, Alex has done it all, she really has.

“Are you ready?” Brainy asks, giving them one last chance to back out, one that neither woman is about to take.

Kara and Lena share one last look before nodding, both of them nervous and doing their best not to show it. “We’re ready,” Kara speaks for them both.

“Three, two, one.” Brainy remotely switches on the devices and in an instant Kara and Lena are unconscious, their bodies sliding on their chairs until they are leaning against each other, keeping each other up like two cards in a card pyramid.

Kara is shocked to find herself lying on the ground in what appears to be a desert of some kind, sand trickling into her suit and making her feel all icky.

A quick glance around shows her that Lena is right beside her, also in the process of figuring out what’s going on and very intrigued by the glow of the bright turquoise sand they are resting on.

“Lena, are you alright?”

“Fine. Are you?”

“Yeah, let’s try and find Nia.” Kara heaves herself to her feet, hating the feeling of the sand racing its way through her suit until it’s pooled up in her boots. For a dream, this feels awfully real and any other time that would be cool but there’s not much worse than having sand in your shoes.

Lena takes a good look around. She uses her hand to block the rays of a harsh sun from her eyes, noting with a hint of excitement that it’s a red sun, the same as Rao, the sun from Kara’s home planet. “The sun is really pretty.”

“It is, it reminds me of home.” Kara smiles slightly but doesn’t linger on it for long, letting herself have only a tiny amount of time to embrace the moment before getting back to task.

They look all the way around them, looking out over the sand to try and spot anything other than desert and they don’t have to search for long because off in the distance to the south of them, they can spot a giant structure of what appears to be a castle of some kind, one that you would see in a fairy-tale. It has turrets and flags and towers. It’s majestic.

Lena finds herself drawn to it and not just because it’s the only thing here other than sand. “I have a feeling that Nia might be there.”

“You really think so?” Kara questions.

“I do.”

“Let’s go then.”

They trudge their way through the sand, cursing the coarse feeling of it as it rubs against their skin, hurting them even in the dream which doesn’t bode well if they have to face anything worse than some sand.

It takes them a while to get there but also simultaneously no time at all, their perception of time warped by the dream completely. They find themselves standing before a great gate, wood and metal intertwined to create a rustic-looking beauty that Lena thinks would make a great garden gate if it were much smaller.

Kara reaches out to try and push it open and trips when her hand goes right through it, her body falling after it. Lena can’t stop the snort of laughter that she lets out, the noise loud and obnoxious as she walks through the gate herself only to then trip over herself as her foot catches on Kara’s body that is still on the floor from where she fell.

“You just fell for me.” Kara laughs.

“Try that again after the second date and maybe I’ll find it cute.” Lena rolls her eyes, pushing herself to her feet and pulling Kara up with her, looking around the courtyard to see where they should go next. “Huh.”

“What?”

“Say what you want about dreams, they can be really helpful when you need a little bit of a hand figuring out where to go next,” Lena replies, looking up at one of the turrets of the castle that is glowing with a faint pink and yellow ripple.

Kara’s eyes widen at the sight. “That’s…something.”

“It sure is,” Lena says, finding the door closest to the turret and hoping that they will just find some stairs that will lead right the way up to it.

Once they are inside the castle, an easy feat if there ever was one, they become pretty bummed to find out that in every direction they look is a hallway that looks identical to the others, one that doesn’t fit into what a hallway in a castle should look like, one that you’d expect to find in a doctor’s office.

“Well, that’s less helpful.”

A loud, high-pitched scream from above them and somewhere to the right has all of their hair standing up, their ass cheeks clenching and their eyes widening. They follow it, almost by instinct at this point that if something is scary, they should go toward it like the idiots in movies that always die first.

As they are trying to find the source of the noise, the screech happens again, this time closer but still above them, perhaps directly above. Lena almost jumps out of her skin at the sound of it and holds a hand over her chest to steady her pounding heart. “Holy shit, I’m suddenly remembering why I usually leave the missions to anyone else but me. I can’t wait until I can get back to my lab and just pretend none of this ever happened.”

“As if, you come on a mission once and your life is forever changed and you can no longer back out of being sucked into coming out on more missions, we’ll have to get you started in training so you can learn to kick some major balls.” Kara smiles at Lena for a moment, her smile only then widening when she notices a little doorway blended into the wall, a panel of plaster jutting out on hinges in the most peculiar way. “Ah, a door.”

“That’s not a door, that’s a wall built by a blind person who thought they were building a window.” Lena reluctantly follows Kara through the gap, keeping her in arm’s reach at all times.

“Don’t be mean,” Kara says, a complete lack of bite to her tone. She reaches out behind her as a third scream echoes through the new hallway they are now in. Lena takes her offered hand and skims her eyes over the exposed brick of the new hallway they are in. It looks like a servant’s passage, much more befitting of a castle.

They come to the apex of a narrow set of stairs and come to a stop when they see something they were not expecting before.

“Hey, Nia,” Kara calls out quietly at the woman standing in the middle of a banquet hall atop a great wooden table. She’s dressed in a squirrel costume and is throwing the large, heavy candles from the table up at a boombox that is strung from the ceiling by a thick rope.

Nia turns to them rapidly, startled by their presence, and without thinking she tosses a candle in their direction. Kara, thinking quick on her feet, ducks. Lena isn’t so lucky and the candle hits her in her chest, sending her gasping to her knees while she cradles her injured left boob in her hands. “Ow!"

Nia’s hands shoot up to cover her mouth as she gasps in shock. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry, Lena!”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lena wheezes, making her way to her feet, hands still cradling her injured boob, “accidents happen.”

“Is your—” Nia points to her own boobs for a moment awkwardly, “ok?”

“Give me a minute to recover and then I’ll tell you.”  Lena breathes heavily through her nose, releasing her boob after a few long moments. “Ok, ok, so, how are you, Nia?”

“Me? You’re the one that’s injured!” Nia exclaims.

Lena shrugs. “You’re the one in a comatose state in the med bay and the one that we had to use some of Brainy’s future tech to get into the dream of.”

Nia’s face goes blank. “What?”

Kara nods. “Yeah, that about sums it up. You went to sleep and haven’t woken up, we’re nearing seventeen hours at this point and this is a dream, nice squirrel costume by the way, you want some nuts?”

Nia looks down at what she’s wearing and her eyes grow so wide that both Lena and Kara momentarily worry that they might pop right out of her skull. “Oh, I hadn’t noticed that.”

“And what exactly did you think you were doing with the candles?” Lena asks, very confused about what’s happening and her now aching boob making it hard to concentrate.

A scream fills the air, ricocheting through the open space and answering Lena’s question. The boombox shakes with the force of the sound and it makes them all rush to cover their ears. “I was trying to destroy that.”

“Understandable but can we figure out how to get Nia to wake up so we can leave this hellscape please?” Kara asks, not enjoying her time here in any way, shape or form.

Lena agrees right away. “That’s a great plan. Nia, do you know if we can get higher up in the castle from here?”

“We’re in a castle? Neat.”

“That’s a no then.” Lena sighs. “How have you been here for this long and yet you don’t know anything about what’s going on?”

Nia’s lips turn down and she finally climbs off the table, coming down to the same level as Lena and Kara. “I don’t know, this just happens sometimes, I sort of become entwined with my dreams to the point where I don’t question them.”

“Well maybe that’s how we get out of here, we make you more aware of your dream and I know where to take you to do that.” Lena smiles at Nia, her dimples coming out as she tries to make Nia feel more comfortable. “We saw a turret on the way inside that was glowing, I’d bet my non-injured boob that we can find a few answers in there.”

“Ok, sounds good to me.” Kara shrugs, heading for a door that is on the opposite side of the banquet hall they are in.

The three of them pass through the door and as they do, Nia gasps. Her squirrel costume has disappeared and in its place, her Dreamer outfit has appeared except rather than the usual blue, it’s bright pink.

Lena tilts her head while looking at it, deciding if she approves of it or not. It’s kind of giving Stephanie vibes from LazyTown but she’s here for it. She gives Nia a thumbs up and then keeps heading on her way.

They follow the twists and turns of the hallways they have found themselves in, plain stone slabs adorning the floors while the walls are exposed brick. They feel like they are walking around in circles but there’s nothing else they can do but keep looking for a way up.

They scan each brick they pass and are careful not to trip on the uneven slabs, periodically stubbing their toes and cursing Nia’s dream for giving them all of the awful things people normally try to avoid in real life, sand in shoes, random screaming and now stubbed toes. This dream is nothing short of uncomfortable. Maybe that’s the point.

“Hey Nia, what kind of things annoy you?” Lena asks, eyebrows pulling together.

Nia shrugs. “I don’t know, this?”

Kara catches on to Lena’s train of thought much quicker than Nia does. “What annoys you just in general?”

“I don’t like when people chew with their mouths open.”

Kara shakes her head. “No, that’s not what we mean. What annoys you like…when we’re on a mission?”

“I don’t like booby traps.” Nia shrugs and just a moment later she trips on a wire tracing across the width of the hallway, sending her sprawling across the floor and barely avoiding the axe that swings down from the ceiling.

“Ah, so that’s going to be a problem.” Lena sucks her lips into her mouth. “Maybe we should be making her think about things that make her happy instead.”

Kara nods, staring at the axe for a moment and noting how sharp the edge is. “Nia, think about puppies or something.”

Like magic, a group of puppies come barrelling down the hallway from behind them and run right past them, not stopping for a moment and disappearing from view just moments after like they were never there in the first place.

“That’s kind of cool,” Lena admits. “Nia, make us a door leading to the glowing turret please, maybe a nice one, perhaps something elaborate and fancy, just for the hell of it.”

A white and gold door appears, swirling shapes engraved into it, leaves and flowers etched into the wood in places. It’s a really nice door basically.

Kara tries the door but it’s locked and even a good harsh shove with her shoulder proves fruitless, doing nothing more than starting up a nice bruise that will match the one on Lena’s left boob. “A key, Nia?”

A large brass key drops from the ceiling above them.

“Thanks.” Kara picks it up and slides it into the lock, opening it up to a spiral staircase. “Let’s get up there and get out of here, it sucks here, Nia, no offence.”

“If I can control it all then it means it’s a lucid dream.” Nia frowns. “Lucid dreams in Naltorians aren’t that common, despite our powers. It’s a sign of my powers trying to protect me from having dreams that could be detrimental to my health. I guess the other dream was getting to the point where I needed protection from it. The lucid dreams let me control my own dreams, hence letting me provide a safe space for myself but it’s also not uncommon for people to be terrorized in their lucid dreams because they don’t recognize them for what they are and let their emotions dictate their unconscious choices, that’s why the dream has sucked, it’s playing off my annoyance from my recent lack of sleep. It’s interesting to think about.”

They reach the top of the stairs as Nia finishes her explanation. They’re in the turret, they know that now because the glow is emanating from the centre of the room and it’s not the turret itself emitting the light but a portal watch, one similar to the design that Nia has seen Lena begin planning to build.

“I think that’s our way out.” Nia picks it up without hesitation, pressing a couple of buttons and watching as a portal opens. “Who wants to go first?”

Kara places a hand on Nia’s shoulder as she passes her. “Good job, Dreamer.” She passes through the portal.

Lena follows suit. “I agree with that sentiment, come right through after me, ok?”

“I will.”

Lena passes through.

Nia takes a deep breath and passes through.

-

Nia’s eyes flutter open to the bright lights of the med bay, forcing her to shut them again just a moment later because it hurts. “Ow, we need to add dimming bulbs in here.”

“We have them, we just don’t use them,” Alex replies, watching Nia’s stats for a minute before humming, happy that they are all normal. “Welcome back to the land of the living.”

“Thanks, it’s been a journey.”

“I know, I’ve been told. Kara and Lena woke up a little while ago, I offered to stay with you while they went to go and freshen up. Your boyfriend, however, refused to leave your side.” Alex shifts her gaze to Brainy, the Coluan face down on the mattress, snoring slightly.

Nia doesn’t fight the smile that spreads across her face. “Don’t wake him.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Alex puts her tablet down and presses the back of her hand to Nia’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

“You’ve been asleep for hours.”

“I know.” Nia laughs. “It wasn’t a relaxing sleep.”

Alex sits down on the chair Kara was unconscious in not long ago. “Was it really bad?”

“Not really bad. Not as bad as the reason I was stuck in my dream in the first place.” Nia’s eyes are already drooping again. “There’s something bad coming, Alex, something that’s going to be really difficult to handle and we have to be ready for it.”

Alex sniffs. “Then we’ll be ready.”

“I hope so.” Nia pressed her head back into her pillow.

“Is that such a good idea?”

Nia grins, little dimples appearing on her cheeks from how wide she’s smiling. “Yeah, I just learned how to lucid dream and I want to ride a unicorn. I know how to wake up by myself now, don’t worry.”

Alex shakes her head. “You can wait to practice your lucid dreaming later, we have fresh coffee in the kitchen for now.”

Nia pouts and it’s honestly a pretty good contender to Kara’s infamous pout. “Really?”

“Really, now get your butt up, we have preparations to get on with if your prediction is correct.”

Read 4 more chapters early on Patreon here!

#supergirl #supercorp #supercorp fanfic #supercorp endgame #cw supergirl #kara leaned in #kara danvers #kara x lena #fanfic #lena luthor #kara zor el #scientist lena luthor #wlw ship #fanfiction #chaoticsuper #joining the superfriends

[heliads]

Hellooooo, just wanted to tell you I absolutely love your writing!!! I wanted to know if you still take requests for Eric and if you do if you could do one where reader saves Eric from his death before Four kills him, you can chose the outcome ^^ thank you

thank you!! i absolutely do still take requests for eric, here you go:

masterlist

You don’t like this any more than anyone else. Somewhere out there, Dauntless is still alive, merged with Erudite to make some alternate reality monster that’s far deadlier than anything you ever knew of your old faction. There are people out there dressed in black who are you and yet aren’t, who wear your colors while plotting your demise.

At one point in your life, merely being Dauntless would have been enough to save you. You were the best of the best back then, one of the kids who stuck it out during initiation long enough to swing into a halfway decent job. When you weren’t proving your worth day after day, you were working to make a faction that would be even more bloodthirsty than the day before it.

If there was ever a world in which you were truly safe in Dauntless, though, it’s long gone now. The rats have come out of the woodwork, and all who were traitors and turncoats have revealed themselves en masse. Jeanine Matthews is a cunning warmonger who’s been able to turn a lot of the top Dauntless to her side, and now you are on the other side of a war from the very people you used to call friends.

Despite going throughout your day with the knowledge that you will never be able to get back that which you hold dear, you still don’t regret the choices you made. Although you may not be Divergent yourself, some of your best friends are, and that means you’ll fight on their side until the day you die.

Learning Four was Divergent came as a shock, not to mention Tris as well. You grew close to Four during your own initiation, and are proud to call him a good friend. You can’t count the number of times Four called on you to help out on the latest round of training, and that’s where you met Tris. 

Now it’s the three of you on the run, wondering how long you’ll have until your luck falls through and you finally get to know what it’s like to have a bullet through your head. Usually, you’re the one pulling the trigger. At one point in the future, you won’t, and that’s when it will all be over.

For the moment, all you can do is struggle to stay alive, day after day until the feeble hope comes that you might actually make it through this endless war. Things may never be the same, but at least you’ll be there to watch as everyone tries to put the pieces back together again.

If you’re looking for a happy ending, or at least one that isn’t terrible, there’s still something holding you back. See, you’re conveniently leaving out the one worst part of this whole war against the Divergent. That’s the fact that you love somebody on the opposite side, and that person is Eric Coulter.

Eric would never switch sides, and neither would you. You’re both terribly headstrong, so obstinate that you would throw yourself from a cliff rather than admit you’re wrong. That’s why the two of you get together so well, after all; you have never met anyone more like you than Eric. You both think and act the exact same way, barring one all important opinion.

It is this one difference that condemns you to a life without the man you love. You would stick by your friends until the day you die, and Eric will never stop fighting for the glory of the new Dauntless he’s making with Jeanine Matthews until the end of time. You are both sprinting in opposite directions, never to turn around again. Perhaps you will never see him other than in brief snippets as he tries to capture you and your friends, or perhaps you’ll be able to meet one day after this.

In all honesty, the odds of Eric even being able to love you are slim to none. Eric is all principle, all opinion. He believes what he believes to the utmost, and anyone who stands in his way will be pushed aside, no matter who they once were to him. It’s exactly the spirit you taught him, but it is what will spell the end for the two of you.

If you’re in a charitable mood, you’ll allow yourself to think about what it had been like, back then before it occurred to either of you that you might be enemy captains in a fight strong enough to cleave this city in two. You two were unstoppable, you know. No one ever thought that a single thing could separate you, and look at what's happened now.

If you close your eyes, you swear you can picture him still before you. You’d come home late from work sometimes, gently closing the door to your shared apartment with the relief of a soldier returning from no man’s land. Eric would greet you with a smile– a rare sight to anyone who wasn’t you– and you’d be able to sink your evenings into the endless happiness of knowing that you are loved by someone with a fiercer heart than anyone in the entire city.

It’s over now, all of that. The pain, the pleasure, the sheer originality of loving someone like Eric. You haven’t seen him since you ran from Dauntless once the mind control broke over you. It’s funny, isn’t it, that everyone claimed you were one of Dauntless’ best guns and yet they didn’t choose to fill you in on their plan to take over Abnegation? Perhaps they saw your close friendship with Four and Tris and decided that you couldn’t be trusted to happily gun down the home of your friends.

Regardless, they were right to doubt your loyalty. The second you found out what was going on, you immediately ran to save Four and Tris. You’ve been watching their backs ever since, through pitfalls and risks unlike anything you’ve ever known before. Throughout all of that, you haven’t caught one glimpse of Eric Coulter since before everything went down.

That doesn't mean you haven’t tried, though. On the day your small party of rebels had to flee Amity when the enemy Dauntless caught up to you unexpectedly, you had looked for him. You knew Eric was there, he was leading the charge. Of course he would be, as if Eric could do anything but run recklessly into a battle whenever given the chance. He was always braver than you, which is exactly why you didn’t seek him out even knowing that the two of you were in the same location for the first time in far too long.

Still, you had glanced over your shoulder as you sprinted headlong towards any semblance of safety. You could see throngs of Dauntless running after you, but never caught even the smallest glimpse of the one face you wanted to see more than any other. Eric was torn from you yet again, and for some reason the possibility of having been able to see him yet not managing it hurt just as much as being separated from him in the first place.

That’s the truth, then. Despite knowing that Eric is your enemy by now, a fate he likely had no problem in accepting, you can’t seem to convince yourself that you could do anything but love him. Eric is the one who has always made you feel like you could take on the world, and even if he were the one pointing a gun at your head, you would still look at him with a smile. There is nothing you can do about it, and nothing you wish to do about it, for that matter. You will always love him, and that is the simple pleasure of knowing him.

That doesn’t mean that you’re not ready for danger whenever it darkens your path, however. You, Tris, Four, and the remaining Dauntless still on your side have been harbored by the Candor, but no safety can truly last forever when Jeanine Matthews is still gunning for you. It’s a quiet night in the faction of truth, which is as sure a sign as any that something must go wrong.

And go wrong it does, this night of nights. The rival Dauntless show up to Candor’s gates and storm in under the cover of darkness. They round up the people one by one, measuring them for Divergence with some strange device you’ve never seen before. They attempt to take Tris, but you and Four launch a counterattack just in time to save your friend.

Just like that, you’re face to face with Eric again. His men are plainly outnumbered and must surrender. You join Tris in confiscating weapons, but refuse to even look Eric’s way. After all this time of wondering what it would be like to see him again, you finally have Eric right in front of you and you can scarcely bear to be in the same room as him. This is love, then, the exhausting pain and knowledge that only terrible things can follow.

You’re forced to acknowledge Eric soon enough, though. Four is questioning him on why the Dauntless were able to get so far into the Candor compound and what they were searching for, information you would like to know as well. Eric remains silent at first, and Four shoots you a beseeching look. He knows as well as you do that if Eric were unwilling to say a word, he might be goaded into talking were you the one asking the questions instead of his rival.

At last, you sigh and nod once. Four’s expression relaxes with gratitude and he steps back, letting you move forward to continue the interrogation. Eric’s face, which had been so carefully iced out into revealing nothing, flickers with surprise when he sees you at last. You had been sure to remain out of his line of vision until now, so this is his first sight of you as well.

“Y/N,” he breathes.

“Eric,” you say as evenly as you can, “What can you tell us about why you’re here?”

He laughs coldly. “All this time of separation and that’s the first thing you ask?”

“Well,” you respond, “I’m already a traitor in your eyes for choosing Four’s side, so I don’t want to waste either of our time in pretending that anything else matters right now.”

“Would it?” Eric asks, “If you could have a different future, wouldn’t you want it?”

You freeze slightly. You’re not prepared to answer such a question, to face Eric when he’s willing to confront such a dangerous topic. Four senses it and walks back to your side.

“Answer the question, Eric.”

Eric’s face shutters again upon seeing Four once more. “You both know I’m not telling you anything. Yeah, we wanted your girlfriend. Tris is mostly worthless, but not for this reason. Guess you’ll never know why.”

Eric is taunting him, trying to get Four riled up enough to make a mistake. Worst of all, it’s working. You can see Four’s fingers twitching by his sides, and then all of a sudden Four has his gun in his hand. He points the barrel directly at Eric’s head, and even as you react with shock, Eric’s expression stays deliriously calm. In fact, you almost think he’s smiling. This is Eric’s final test of bravery, and he would never back down from such a challenge.

You, however? You cannot bear to lose him. Not now, not ever. Not even if it condemns you to another few weeks or months of being on the run. You move to stand in between the two men, your back to Eric. It may be a mistake, but some part of you has always trusted him to keep you safe, even now.

“Don’t do this, Four,” you say, voice razor-sharp, “It’s not worth it.”

“Actually,” Four argues, “I’d say it’s pretty damn worth it. He’s going to keep trying to kill Tris so long as he stays alive. He’s going to try to kill all of us. Is it worth it, Y/N? Saving someone who just wants you dead? I don’t know about you, but that’s not a risk I’m willing to take. Why is that different for you?”

“Because I love him,” you say at last, and you know from Four’s expression that this is the one thing you could have said to convince him, “because if there’s one thing I can’t change, it’s how I feel. You know what it’s like to risk your entire life for someone you love, otherwise you wouldn’t be trying to murder Eric for threatening Tris.”

“He’s not going to feel the same way about you,” Four tries, one last ditch attempt to convince you to let him do this.

You’re not going to accept it, though. “I’ll take that risk,” you smile, words bittersweet, “I always have. I always will.”

“This is what you want, then?” He asks.

“It is,” you confirm, and after one last desolate stare, Four pockets his gun again. He leaves the room with Tris, and the other Dauntless still on your side file out after them. Soon enough, you’re alone with Eric. You still can’t look at him, but Eric must not have the same problem.

His hand rests on your shoulder. “Four’s right,” he murmurs at last, “You should have killed me.”

“I think we both know I could never do that,” you reply, “I was always the one who couldn’t commit to the harsh calls, remember?”

You say it with a bitter laugh, but when Eric speaks again, his voice holds none of that darkness, just light. “It made you better than me.”

You turn around at last and face him. He is just how you remembered him; somehow, even though it hasn’t been all that much time at all, you assumed Eric would be much changed. The divide in mind must match with a divide in body, right? 

Yet he is the same, your lover. He still looks at you with the same soft smile that nobody knew except you. Eric extends an arm to you and pulls you close, and just like that, the last of your walls come crashing down.

He speaks against the top of your head. “I’m leaving in the morning, back to Dauntless.”

You nod once. You knew this was coming the second Four put down his gun. There was no way Eric could possibly stay, not here among his enemies. “Promise me you’ll stay alive?”

Eric chuckles. You wouldn’t be the first person to demand such a promise from their fighter, nor the first one to be disappointed. Eric still tries, though. He always did. “I will. I’ll find you after this, alright? We will make it work.”

Somehow, you will. You look up at him one last time and you know that he’s telling the truth. Here in Candor’s halls, Eric is making a promise that he intends to keep. You’ll see him after everything ends, and in that quiet conclusion, the two of you will figure out how to forgive each other. It has already begun.

divergent tag list: @dindjarinneedsahug, @poisonmenegan, @ozzynka, @rogueanschel, @with-inked-solace, @gods-fools-heroes, @23victoria

#eric coulter #eric coulter imagines #eric coulter x reader #eric coulter oneshot #divergent #divergent imagines #divergent x reader #divergent oneshot #divergent eric #divergent eric imagines #divergent eric x reader #divergent eric oneshot #insurgent #allegiant

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine.

Word Count: 1764

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff. Insinuations of Intimacy.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 36

It was night when she returned to the bunker. Her family was still in the library, although they were eating dinner. She just watched them momentarily, as none of them had seen her yet.

She also didn’t realize how long she’d been gone, as time flows differently in Heaven just as it does in Hell. Maria watched Dean pour himself a drink, but the bottle was mostly empty.

“She’s fine, Dean. I’m sure she’ll be back soon,” Bobby sighed.

“She’s been gone almost all day, Bobby. What if something happened? It’s not like we can just go check on her or anything,” Dean rambled.

Sam sighed and looked in the direction Bobby was in when he saw Maria standing in the war room. His expression went from worried to relieved. Seeing her standing there, he quickly sat up. That caused everyone else’s gaze to shift to the war room. Dean didn’t say a word; he just got up and quickly closed the distance between them.

She wrapped him up in her arms just as he did her with his. He felt all his worry and fear wash away with her in his arms, “I’ve been so worried about you,” he whispered, feeling a few tears threatening to fall.

“I made you a promise,” she whispered through a sigh, “I’ll always find my way home to you.”

Dean squeezed her a little tighter, feeling his racing heart beginning to calm as he breathed in her scent. Maria took a deep breath, relaxing further in his arms, when she caught the strong odor of whiskey and scrunched up her nose.

“How much have you had to drink?” she asked, pulling away a little so she could look into his eyes.

He blushed, then chuckled, “A bit.”

Maria tilted her head a bit, giving him that “I don’t believe you look,” which only made him laugh. Then, before she could actually argue with him, he leaned down and kissed her. It was one of those kisses that time stands still for.

John deliberately cleared his throat, trying to get the two to chill on the PDA at least a little. Dean and Maria laughed before they joined the others in the library, sitting beside each other.

“Alright, sis, spill. How’d it go?” Sam asked eagerly, leaning forward to lean on the library table.

“Where’s Mari and Cas?” Bobby asked, slightly confused.

A beer appeared on the table in front of Maria, to which she took a sip before looking at her family, “Mari and Cas need to stay in Heaven for now. They’re going to help the other angels find their humanity.” She paused to take another sip of her beer.

“So, what happened with Chuck?” John asked.

“Oh, he’s living on Earth right now, learning what it means to be human,” she answered, scoffing in amusement at the situation.

“Wait? What?” Sam asked, puzzled.

Maria chuckled, “He forgot why he created man and what he found precious about them. So, I locked away his powers until he remembers. Plus, within a week, there won’t be a single demon on Earth. They’ll all be in Hell, where they belong,” she explained, sipping her beer.

“What about any Crossroads deals that have already been made?” John asked, knowing how those worked.

She sighed, “When they come due, the hellhounds will come for those souls. However, with the reform program, those souls will have a chance to be able to redeem themselves and get to Heaven.”

It wasn’t what they wanted to hear, but it was better than nothing, “They may double their efforts for those. At least until they can’t come back up here,” Mary suggested, “We could see if there are any signs of demon activity. Maybe foil their plans.”

With what Maria had done in Hell and then also in Heaven, the peace of the beginning was now appearing in random locations worldwide, not just radiating from where she was. She could also feel where there were monsters still causing trouble in the world.

Maria looked down at her beer, rubbing her thumb over the label as she thought about what to say that would make sense to any of them. It only half made sense to her at the moment. She didn’t even realize all eyes were on her.

“Maria?” Dean asked, setting his hand on her back between her shoulder blades.

She looked over at him and sighed, “This isn’t gonna make much sense, but…” she trailed off and looked back down at her beer. “It’s hard to explain. What if we just, well, moved on? Let hunting go?”

“What happened to saving people?” Dean argued.

There were all those emotions again, causing her to take a shaky breath, but she was unable to look at him, “It’s not that I don’t want to save people, Dean. Some people need to experience things in order to learn important lessons,” she tried to explain.

“I can’t sit here and do nothing,” Dean told her, getting frustrated.

After a moment, a piece of paper appeared on the table in front of him, “Fine,” she sighed, “That paper has the locations of the demons making Crossroads deals that are in the states. If you’re still insistent that you do something.” He did take note that she didn’t look up at him.

Dean looked down at the paper. There were over a dozen different locations, “Sweetheart, I just can’t sit here,” he sighed, closing his eyes.

“I wish you wouldn’t do this,” she mumbled, then finished her beer.

John, Bobby, and Mary understood what Maria had been talking about it. It was something they could understand, mainly because they had children. Part of growing up meant understanding that your children had to experience hard things in order to learn the lessons involved. They couldn’t save them from the pain of things; they could only advise them on how to proceed.

“Dean, maybe we should listen to her,” Mary suggested, softly, pleading him with her eyes.

“Mom, seriously?” Dean questioned as he looked at her, “What the hell?!”

“Don’t snap at your mother, boy,” John told him sternly, “Just listen, hear her out.”

Dean’s frustration at the entire situation was evident to everyone. That was when Mary had an idea. She got up and went over so she was standing between Maria and her son.

“Maria, can you share my understanding with him?” she asked as she set her hand on Maria’s shoulder.

Maria looked up at her, contemplating her request, “I think so,” she replied, unsure as it was something she’d never attempted before.

She shifted in her seat to face Dean, then placed her left hand over Mary’s hand that was still on her shoulder. Maria put her right hand on Dean’s chest, took a deep breath, then closed her eyes. She focused on sharing what Mary had asked, letting her powers do what was needed.

Dean’s eyes widened as that soft yet vibrant purple glow radiated under her hand, and memories of his mother’s played out in his mind. He saw, when he was three, trying to stand on a toddle push toy that was supposed to be ridden. His mother repeatedly took him off of it, explaining he was supposed to sit on it and ride it. Then, after the dozenth time, she sighed and stepped back, letting her son figure it out on his own. The three-year-old Dean did manage to stand on the seat, then fell off of it, hurting himself and crying. Mary was there, holding him close and comforting him. However, he didn’t try that again after learning that he could get hurt.

Mary looked down at her son as the memory played out and watched a couple of tears fall from his eyes, and she smiled softly at him. Then, Maria opened her eyes and set her hands on her lap. She wasn’t sure what to say, having seen something so intimately personal like that. Mary placed one of those motherly kisses on the top of Dean’s head before she went over and sat next to John, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Dean just sat there for a few moments, having an internal battle. He wanted to go save those people, but he realized that he couldn’t save them from themselves. Maria tilted her head a bit as she watched him with curiosity, almost able to see the understanding coming into his expression.

He lowered his head, sighing, “I won’t go,” he said quietly.

Dean understood what they’d both tried to not only explain to him but also show him. He wondered how he would be able to sit back and do nothing, knowing he could do something. He also wondered if that was what it was like to be a parent, having to let your kids make mistakes so they could learn on their own. Dean had been saving people from monsters for so long that he wasn’t sure how he was going to just sit back and do nothing. When he felt Maria’s hand on his cheek, he looked into her eyes, conflicted, even when he saw her soft smile and love in them.

“Thank you. I know how hard this is for you,” Maria told him, just as soft as her eyes. The paper that was on the table disappeared.

He sighed, “Just, help me focus on something else till this is over,” he asked her, a pleading look in his eyes.

Maria gently rubbed her thumb against his cheek, then leaned up and kissed him softly, “I’ll do whatever I can to help,” she smiled, then got an idea, “Tell you what, you can pick all the activities for the whole week.”

Whether she meant to or not, that had definitely gotten his attention and his mind on an entirely different topic. He raised an eyebrow and smirked. It was that devilishly charming, flirtatious smirk of his that made his eyes light up.

“All the activities?” he asked suggestively.

She playfully smacked his shoulder, blushing deeply. 

“You know, there are other people in the room,” Bobby teased them, chuckling, which only made her blush deeper.

Dean brushed a few strands of her hair behind her ear, “Now that is a color I love seeing on you.”

“Not helping,” she told him, a bit flustered.

Laughter erupted in the room, and the mood finally lightened. It was going to be a long week, but somehow, Maria knew she was going to enjoy helping keep Dean’s mind off the things he needed to leave alone.

----------------------------------------- Epilogue

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @kazsrm67

Link to the master list for this story.

#supernatural #nephilim #dean winchester x oc #dean winchester x femaleoc #sam winchester fanfiction #spn fic #SPN FANDOM #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spnfandom #spn #spn au #supernatural series #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic #supernatural fandom #supernatural oc #supernatural fanfic series #supernatural au #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #nephilim fanfiction

[bananna25]

Can You Hear Me?  1 - Birthday

When someone turns 17, they are able to find their soulmate. Soulmates can communicate telepathically and although they are not “required” to fall in love, 90% of them do. When your soulmate is younger than you, you simply won’t get a response. Same as if they’re dead, which if you think about it, kind of sucks. If your soulmate is in fact younger than you, then you’ll hear from them when they come of age. Might be months, years, decades if you're into that. Kidding. 

It’s been a week since you turned 17 and you still hadn’t tried to contact your soulmate yet. There were many reasons for this. Numero 1, you didn’t think you were ready for a relationship. Again, not all soulmates turn out to be lovers, and ironically, you wished yours would. If you weren’t ready, you didn’t want to blow it. Number 2, you really don’t like talking to people. Specifically strangers. Until you mastered the art of ordering a chicken sandwich on the phone, there was no way you would be contacting your soulmate. There’s a couple other reasons but those are the main two.

Mei’s been bothering you about it but you claimed it was because you were waiting for her to turn 17 so you could reach out together. “The least I could do as your best friend.” She knows that you’re worried about doing it alone, so she drops it. 

“The rest of the class period is for you to get a head start on the homework due in two days. Please use your time wisely,” Mr. Taguchi announced to the rest of the students. “I will leave the previous math problems on the board as examples. If you need help, come to my desk.”

You leaned your head against the window and gazed out the glass. It was the end of the day, the last thing you wanted to do was homework. While the class buzzed around you, you watched a couple of the 3rd years move around the courtyard collecting... soil samples? When you took a closer look, you recognized a familiar head of messy brown hair and couldn’t help but stare as he walked around. You snapped out of it when a girl with black hair bent down next to him, a little too close. 

"Are you okay?" Mei asked, tapping you on your head that was now buried in your hands. 

"Yea, I just hate it when a more attractive person has a crush on the same person I do," you groaned, looking up at her with a rather bored expression on your face.

"She's right," Inko added. "It's like performing in a talent show and finding out that Beyonce is going before you."

Somehow, the way she worded it made you feel even worse. ”Why would you say that?”

Yes, you had a crush on Oikawa Tooru. You’re not sure when it happened or why but you had grown a liking to him. He was definitely attractive and that might've had something to do with why you liked him. But the way he acted is what really caught your attention. Sure, he could be a jerk sometimes, all high and mighty, but then he would turn around and act like a complete cinnamon roll. His childish side was really cute. 

You spared a glance out the window again and saw Oikawa holding up one of the vials of soil and looking at it, a pout spread across his lips. Adorable.

As Inko and Mei talked back and forth about which anime was better and why, you doodled in your notebook, covering  old notes with ladybugs and cats. 

“What do you mean you haven’t watched Inuyashiki?” Inko gasped. “I recommended it to you months ago!”

“Yeah, along with 20 other things, it’s in my watchlist. I’ll get there eventually,” Mei grumbled and blew her bangs out of her face. “Bet you haven’t watched A World Only God Knows yet.”

“Actually I was planning on starting it today. You just reminded me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“What about Avatar The Last Airbender? I told you to watch that one too.”

“That’s not an anime.”

“No, but you should still watch it.”

You colored in one of your cat’s faces, leaving the eyes and the inside of the ears white. A sudden chill ran down your spine and you turned around to see one of the kids behind you had opened a window. Even the slightest gust of wind gave you goosebumps and you returned to your drawings, shivering a little. 

Sounds from outside carried in and every now and then your eyes would flick to the window to catch a glimpse of Oikawa. You had never talked to him before, at least, not exchanged dialogue. You didn’t want to just go and strike up a conversation either. He was a handsome, popular 3rd year and you were a quiet 2nd year. You didn't talk to anybody, let alone the captain of the boys volleyball team. You kept to admiring him from afar, even if it could be annoying at times.

The 3rd years had all gathered around the teacher, probably about to head back inside. Oikawa was poking Iwaizumi in his side and clearly not paying attention to what the teacher was saying. Iwa would slightly push him but Oikawa came right back. 

Another gust of wind hit you and you put your pencil down. 

“I’mma get my jacket from my locker, I’ll be back,” you informed the bickering girls in front of you and went up to Mr. Taguchi to ask for a hall pass. He gave it to you and you headed straight for your locker. 

It was warmer in the halls, considering none of the windows had been opened, which was nice. Since the math classroom wasn’t far from your locker, you were able to get your jacket and head back quickly. 

While rewinding your steps, you looked out the window and noticed that the 3rd years weren’t there anymore. That could only mean…

You first noticed the teacher's head, rising from the staircase. Followed by the rest of his body and the students. They were on the opposite end of the hallway which meant that you needed to walk by all of them in order to get back to class. The thought of turning around and staying in the bathroom until they were gone, or just pretending like you forgot something in your locker passed through your head. But it was too late. You had made eye contact with the teacher. 

She smiled and you gave a small smile back, bowing slightly and keeping your head down to avoid looking at the students. You almost made it through when the sound of a girl laughing echoed through your ears and you looked up curious. It was a group of girls giggling about something on a phone. You were about to look down again when you caught a boy staring at you. He had really short, light brown hair and small eyes. You recognized him as the new 3rd year transfer that you had helped earlier that year. You had found him looking lost in the hallways and searching for the robotics room. You talked for a little while showing him the way and learned that his name was Hanamaki (I know he didn’t transfer originally but for the sake of the plot, let it be). 

The boy smiled and waved, you gave a small smile and waved back to not be rude. He then turned to one of the boys next to him and started chatting with him, the boy throwing a glance in your direction. Almost instantly, you moved your eyes elsewhere and noticed Oikawa a couple feet in front of you. He stood behind Iwaizumi with his head resting on his back, arms just swinging underneath him. His mouth was moving but you couldn’t hear a word he was saying. But it couldn’t have been that important since Iwa kept a straight face the entire time. 

As you were looking away, you noticed Iwa’s eyes flick to yours but you didn’t meet his gaze and instead hurriedly put your sweatshirt on. You zipped it up to your chin and put your hands in your pockets, glad to have finally made it past the herd of students and suddenly feeling the overwhelming desire to go home. 

***

The music club is a relatively quiet place. There are only 7 other people in the club besides you and Mei, but that makes practice much easier because there aren’t as many people hogging instruments. It is mostly independent too, which you appreciated. You entered the room and dropped your bags by the door. Mei was already there, along with another girl and boy. You hadn’t really had a full conversation with either of them, and you weren’t planning to. 

“Inko left these forms for the school camping trip before she went to the art room,” Mei approached you with a couple papers in hand. “Did you wanna go?”

“I don’t know. Sleeping in a tent with my classmates doesn’t exactly appeal to me.” You commented but took the permission slips anyway, briefly scanning them. The activities planned looked fun but not if you had to do them with strangers. “Are you going?”

“I might. If you or Inko will, I’ll go.”

Seems like she had the same idea in mind. “Inko probably will. Didn’t she go last year?”

“Yeah, she did. And she came back with a boyfriend.”

You giggled, remembering Inko and the boy she had dated for less than a week before dumping. “They didn’t last very long.”

Truthfully, he wasn’t a bad guy, you thought he was cute and he absolutely adored Inko, but she wasn’t having it. 

“What happened to him anyway?” you asked Mei and strode over to the empty piano bench. “I don’t think I’ve seen him at all this year.”

“I wanna say he moved cities…? But I dunno,” Mei followed you and leaned against the wall.

You pressed a couple of the keys, playing a quick melody. “When do I have to turn the permission slip in?” Not that asking would help, you'd forget it in an hour.

“A month. Just don’t forget. They don’t accept them late.”

You nodded and stole a glance at the guitar next to Mei. It was a newer addition to the club and you took it upon yourself to learn it, but it was a lot harder than the piano. Then again, the first instrument you learn always seems the easiest. 

“Did you want me to pass you that guitar?” Mei noticed you staring at the acoustic and gave it to you. “You’re really set on learning every instrument in this room, aren’t you?”

”Mmhm. But it's making my fingers sore..”

“You’ll get used to it once you build calluses. Maybe if you’re confident enough by the end of the year you can play in the competition.”

“You’re funny,” you said sarcastically. “That’s the other guy’s spotlight. I would never.”

Both of you threw a glance towards one of the other club members riffing away in the corner. For the past 2 years he has played as the electric guitarist in the music competition. Even if you did practice all year to perform, he would still be better. 

“Maybe he’ll get sick or mysteriously injured,” Mei offered.

You only shook your head and laughed. “Now Mei, let's not doom the poor child."

"But you said you would participate this year!"

"Yeah, I did. But I was planning on just submitting a song or something. I don't actually have to perform."

"But that's not the same…"

"Hey, if a spot opens up I'll volunteer… maybe," you set the field trip forms on the piano and laid the guitar across your lap. “Do you want to play a song with me?”

“As long as you don’t outshine my vocals again,” Mei sat across from you on a cajon and smacked it. "If you don't end up performing you better have written one bomb ass song."

***

Music club ended about the same time as volleyball practice. Because of that, you often see Oikawa everyday afterschool. The music room was farther away from the school entrance than the gym, so when you were walking to the subway station, you basically followed him for a block. To make it even better, you guys took the same train. Your station was 1 stop early, but you were still in the same car for at least 9. 

The doors closed behind you and you took the closest open seat, which happened to be across from Oikawa’s. You sat down without looking at him and pulled your backpack onto your lap, taking your earbuds out and putting one in your ear. The ride was at least 15 minutes and you wanted to be distracted from the crowds around you. 

A couple walked into the train, hand in hand, and for a split second, you were tempted to say something to your soulmate. There’s no way you could mess up a simple “hey” right? But as quickly as that thought came, you pushed it away. Absolutely not. You told Mei you were gonna wait for her and even though she doesn’t really care, you were gonna stay true to your word. 

Your stop came and you got up, glancing at Oikawa. He was slouching with his feet outstretched, sports bag beneath the seat, hood over his head and covering his chin. His phone was in his hands and he looked like he was in a very intense game. Your lips twitched at the sight and looked away before he noticed you staring. 

The doors opened and you got off. You looked back but with the other people crowding to get on, you couldn’t make him out. It’s okay, you’ll see him tomorrow anyway. 

***

A month flew by quickly. 

The deadline for the camping trip permission slip was today. Mei continued to hag you but said her parents wouldn’t let her go because she had too many missing assignments. The only way they would let her leave was by raising her grades, but knowing Mei, she didn't love camping nearly enough to commit to more school work. And if she wouldn't go, neither would you.

Today also happened to be Mei’s birthday and the first thing she asked was if you were ready to talk to your soulmate.You lied.

“Yeah, you?”

“Absolutely. On the count of three. Ready?”

Your eyes widened. You didn’t even get a minute of preparation. “W-wait! Gimme a couple seconds..”

She gave you the side eye. “You’ve had more than enough time. Were those past couple weeks not enough for you?”

“Yeah, yeah, just hold on,” you took a deep breath in and gripped the straps to your backpack. It’s only a big deal if you make it a big deal. And if you’re lucky, they’ll be younger than you and not respond. 

“...You good?”

You nodded. “One…”

“Two… three!”

Your mind went blank. What should you say? Suddenly, a simple “hi” wasn’t gonna cut it for you. You looked at Mei, she had her eyes closed. The first thing you say should be romantic, memorable. These would be the first words you would say to your soulmate ever. This was important, so why can't you think of anything?I can do this… You sucked in one more breath of air and closed your eyes. 

“OMG I heard him!!” Mei bounced up and down excitedly. “Did yours say anything?” 

You opened your eyes and looked at her. How did she do that so fast? “No, not yet..” That wasn’t completely a lie. 

“Aww that’s okay, maybe he’s not old enough. That gives you more time, right?” 

She’s right. But you didn’t need more time. Your adrenaline was already pumping and you just wanted to get it over with. And if you didn’t do it now, you would feel like a chicken. And that couldn’t happen. 

Mei grabbed your hand and started pulling you with her past the school gate. “You’ll never guess who my soulmate is. Oddly enough, I don’t think I’ve even met him properly yet.”

Screw this. Can you hear me?

…

…

Yes, I can hear you!

________________________

I’m going to attempt to keep a steady update flow but life happens so we’ll see

#oikawatooru haikyuu fluff ff fanfiction yn volleyball soulmates oikawa

[mysaldate]

Whoever sent the ask about Journey, Tumblr ate it and had a stroke, here’s your answer!

THIS POST ORIGINALLY HAD PICTURES AND A VIDEO BUT TUMBLR DECIDED NOT TO ALLOW ANY OF THAT TO GO THROUGH. THIS IS A LONG-TERM ISSUE THAT HAS BEEN REPORTED BY SOME USERS AS FAR AS TWO WEEKS BACK.

Oh boy, I hope you don't mind the nerdy rant that's coming because ngl, I have a LOT to say about this game that hasn't even properly released yet.

AFK 2: Journey is an upcoming game collab between Lilith Games and Farlight Games. You may recognize this combination of developers from Dislyte, but don't worry, this is nothing like Dislyte. Well, at least not in the bad aspects of it. You can view the official trailer for the closed beta right here and there are already plenty of people who made videos about it on YT regarding the gameplay and general feel of the game. In short, it's a more or less open-world game where you play as a prophesized savior of Esperia against one particular threat. I'll go more into detail about what is and isn't in the game under the cut so I don't take up too much space on the timeline and I'll also be adding some pictures and maybe even videos of the game itself.

As I was a part of the closed beta testing, I was able to already see what the game had to offer, and here's my crude review. It won't go over everything so if you have any additional questions, feel free to ask.

So to start with, what separates this game from the already existing AFK game, AFK Arena?

Well, for starters, it features 3D graphics. Now, usually, I'm not too big a fan of 3D graphics. It was my main issue with Dislyte (until I looked at the gacha properly at least), and I'm not a fan of Genshin's style for this very reason. 3D graphics make games difficult to run on devices with overall lower performance and everything becomes that much bigger in the storage as well. Not to mention, usually it doesn't even look good and 2D would've provided a lot more emotion and creative freedom. Genshin constantly struggles with supposedly emotional moments falling flat because of both pacing and the limited range of emotions in their 3D models. Dislyte doesn't animate most stories and thus avoids this pitfall... without actually fixing the problem either. On the other hand, I think Journey did a good job portraying emotions even on the NPC faces despite the 3D model limitations. If anything, they were a bit too much at times. The overall body language definitely added to this though so it's not like everything hung only on the facial expressions. They weren't afraid to utilize their whole models to get the feeling across and it certainly paid off. And sure, the expressions are still sometimes a mess and my poor screenshotting skills definitely don't help my case, but you'll see what I mean with the videos. For now, have this.

(very awkward screenshot of a sad bunny mom was here)

The model is a little awkward because of the screenshot but Adeline really sold her distress. She was constantly rubbing at her eyes wiping her tears away, blinking them away, and shaking. She's afraid about her lost child and she behaves like someone in such a situation. She doesn't stand stiff and stare blankly off into the distance.

Another key difference is the aforementioned open world. Now again, it is not quite as open as in Genshin, you cannot climb or swim, and a lot of locations require you to follow specific paths to get to, but you can still frolic in the fields of grain and go off course to grab a random treasure chest or fight a random enemy. You also get rewards for filling out the map. You can choose up to four characters you have drawn in gacha to follow you around and they have no relation to your party whatsoever so you can just put your favorites there without having to worry about combat. The world is split into several larger areas with a bunch of smaller areas within each one. You can progress to the next areas regardless of where you are in the main story which is nice. There's no Inazuma situation where you can't go somewhere until you get there in the story. Every bigger and smaller area is locked behind a small boss fight and there are also teleports on the map. Much appreciated is also the auto-pilot function where you can simply choose a goal and your character will automatically find the shortest route to get there if it is possible, and then walk on their own.

Last but not least, I need to talk about the main character. AFK Arena is wonderful thanks to it not having a main character to dictate the course of its story, even though it kind of seemed like that's where it was going at the start. Journey, on the other hand, decided to commit to the idea of having a playable main character. I wasn't a fan of it when I first heard about it but it kind of blew me away with how seamless they made it and how neatly it fits in with the rest of the game. I will get more into the MC a little bit later.

That were just the key differences between AFK Arena and AFK 2: Journey. So let's talk more about Journey itself.

The story of the prologue, and thus kind of the overarching story, is a little cliché at the start. No star-traveling twins fighting an evil god and getting separated, no world of godly powers bestowed upon mortals. There is a prophesized main character, us, who was foretold to save Esperia from the spreading corruption of dark miasma. That's right, no Hypogean threat and war between good and evil, well at least not in the traditional sense of the word. Also, we have amnesia. But don't worry, there's a reason for it. At the start of the game, we get found by a duo of traveling mercenaries, Ella and Valen. Ella is a mage who studied at the Astral Academy, while Valen is a sword-user, though he can't really be called a knight, and they were hired by someone to find this someone's master. At the start of the game, after they find us, we are completely covered up, you can't see anything at all about the MC.

(a screenshot of a covered up MC was here, they are wearing full-body robes that go over their head and a full face mask that hides their whole face, on their chest is a white gem)

This becomes important later because after meeting with the client who sent them to find us, we are taken to our main base – a building on the back of a massive terrestrial creature that has all the possible accommodations including the Noble Tavern (with best girl Dolly) and a changing room. The MC, once you get past the prologue, is CUSTOMIZABLE. You can pick between the male and female body, there's a variety of skin tones, both natural and not, and you gain avatar items as you progress the story or you can buy them from the shop. You can get fox ears, a monocle, an eye mask, full-body outfits, and more. This honestly excited me so much and it immediately elevated this game in my head so much more. Furthermore, while the MC doesn't fight on your team, they stand in the back and provide various valuable buffs from healing to attack power-ups to even damaging enemies. In a way, the MC is functionally similar to the new Beasts feature in AFK Arena.

The one drawback I would call out is that there's not really much of anything just yet but this was just the closed beta after all. They'll probably add a lot of new stuff before the actual release. You can also choose a faction for your avatar frame but the only ones in the game so far were Lightbearers and Maulers, and the Lightbearer one was the default frame while the actual Lightbearer-looking frame was labeled as Maulers, so nothing is perfect, but there is a very solid base that we could see great expansions upon.

Aside from the MC, you build a team of up to five heroes much like you would in AFK Arena. You also get tutorial heroes for free. These heroes are Ella, Valen, Chippy, and Hammie. Speaking of whom, Chippy and his cousin Hammie are the two who originally hired Ella and Valen and though I would personally consider them related to the Wilders or Maulers, they were apparently accepted as Lightbearers. Maybe the centuries-old race war is finally getting better? Chippy looks like a chubby little hamster knight and works as a tank, and Hammie is similar to a white weasel and has minor magical powers and healing abilities. They come with a whole family of similar creatures who all work for us and do lots of little background things like scouting out maps for treasure and enemies. What's most important though is that they are absolutely ADORABLE!

(several pictures of cute little fuzzy babies were posted here, you can still find Chippy as the game's official profile picture on FB, and Hammie appeared on the closed beta announcement picture)

Aside from the starting four, you can recruit characters through a gacha system in the tavern, just like in the old AFK Arena. The gacha now has an animation that, while far from great, I just can't stop watching. And it is pretty much only for the Dolly animation and especially the way her skirt twirls. 3D animated skirts usually tend to be awfully stiff or feel heavy and suffocating, but as someone who wore them quite a lot not that long ago, I appreciated how realistic and light Dolly's skirt seemed in it. This is a weird detail to get hung up on, I know, but I always focus on weird things, we all know that by now.

(a video of the gacha pull was here, it opens in a cozy-looking shared space with a bar, several tables, a changing room, and even a small store, Dolly is cleaning tankards when she notices the player came to gacha and sets her work down to motion towards larger animations playing out behind her where we can see some of the characters we can pull, after clicking on the 10-pull option, she runs out to the balcony and tosses out a handful of envelopes that fly into the air, day turns into night and a single envelope returns, lighting up beacons indicating the rarities of heroes in the pull)

And yes, I keep mentioning Dolly. However, Dolly is not the only familiar face we'll meet in Journey. A whole set of heroes from AFK Arena shows up in Journey as well. From the Lightbearers, we have Lucius, Rowan, and Mirael, from the Maulers, there's Brutus, the Wilders brought Eironn and Lyca, and the only Graveborn from the original game who made the cut, for now, is Thoran. Aside from them, the game also has a plethora of new original heroes. And these heroes certainly look every bit as unique and diverse as you would expect from an AFK game! During the beta, the game didn't have any backstories just yet, but it had a dedicated space for them so we can expect them to show up soon. Let me quickly walk you through the new heroes!

(two pictures from the promo materials were there; the first one depicted Ella, a young and fairly androgynous woman with chin-length white hair and blue eyes, she is wearing a blue barret, a white and gold vest with a closed top and a turtleneck, blue cape falls from it on both front and back and the front part is divided into two halves, leaving an opening to see her vest through, she also has dark blue booty shorts and long cream-colored stockings on, she wields a golden staff with a blue gem on top; the second picture depicted Valen, he is a leisurely looking young man with a mess of brown hair falling down to his shoulders and wears a white shirt with a dark blue tunic and a fur-lined brown cloak together cream-colored pants and high brown boots, he is equipped with a sword as well as leather arm braces, by his waist hangs the sheath and another sheathed sword)

First, we have Ella and Valen (and sorry I don't have my own screenshots for them, I have their animations). Both of them are Lightbearers and I also introduced them a little bit, but since they play a big part in the main story, I can talk more about their personalities. Ella is smart and relies on her wits but is prone to anger at times and has a strong sense of justice. On the other hand, Valen is laid-back and more careful about how he comes across to others but he has a good head on his shoulders and remembers to consider options outside of what's right in front of our faces. They're a refreshing duo and it's easily understandable why they've stuck together as mercenaries.

Sadly, Chippy and Hammie don't really show up much after the prologue so there's not much more to them other than being loyal and very adorable. Chippy has great faith in us as the prophesized hero while Hammie has a more leveled approach and keeps things on the cooler side.

(a picture here depicted Merrin, she is a young blonde woman, her hair is tied in twin braids but several strands escaped and stick out wildly, she's wearing a white short-sleeved shirt and brown pants rolled up to her knees and on her head sits a white and blue Robin Hood-style hat, she wields a bow and by her hip hands a quiver of arrows and a fox tail, she also has a dagger strapped to her other hip)

The Lightbearer lineup is finished by Merrin. She's born of noble blood but after her mother got murdered, she ran away from home seeking vengeance. This is actually a part of the main story so I don't want to spoil too much but she is very energetic, dedicated, and doesn't mind changing plans on the run if she can attain her goal. She's also not stubborn and can admit when she made a mistake, but she won't put up with nonsense. She's a genuinely refreshing character in an already very good story quest.

(a picture here depicted Hewyn, she is a small girl with pointy ears, her golden hair is tied in two braids and rolled up on the sides of her head, there is a tear-shaped mark on her forehead, she has green eyes and a somber or perhaps distrusting look, she is wearing an ankle-length dress of white and green with a few golden touches and holds a leaf bigger than she is as an umbrella or maybe to provide shade from the sun)

Moving on to the Wilders, we have Hewyn. Unfortunately, if she does appear in the main story, I didn't get to her during the beta so I can't really talk much about her, but she is a dedicated healer and her healing is absolutely busted. I'm sure this will get rebalanced soon but during the beta, she was easily healing 50k HP with her ult while my main AoE DPS dealt a little over 13k damage to the enemies. In her animations, she appears very shy and almost fearful.

(a picture here depicted Seth, a powerfully-built anthropomorphized black panther, he has golden tattoos or perhaps paint on his chest like the rays of the sun coming from below where his neck protection spreads over his shoulders, the neck protection gear is connected to a sleeve over his right arm, both of his arms sport leather bracers, he also wears tight pants of light leather and there are several protective bindings on his legs, his claws are painted gold, by his waist are several signal horns fastened to a wide belt)

That's all the Wilders so moving on to the Maulers. This is Seth and he's a black panther assassin. And that's all I know about him since he doesn't have a backstory and his animations seem generally guarded so I can't read much into them.

(a picture here depicted Bo, he is a massive rhino with a huge battering ram in his arms, he is wearing a fur-lined red attire and sports red body paint around his neck, he is also equipped with heavy-looking arm bracers and a protective piece on his head going from between his eyes to around his horn for which it has a hole, the armor seems to be made of black scales and held together with golden seams, he also has a golden nose ring)

Bo has to be one of my favorite designs simply for how unconventional he is. He's just. so. large. He's the tankiest tank who ever tanked. But in his animations, he also appears very aloof and sleepy, like he used a lot of energy charging and pushing back the enemy, and now he just needs a nap.

(picture here depicted two meerkat-looking Maulers, one significantly larger than the other, obviously the adult of the two if they truly are the same species, the smaller meerkat isn't wearing any clothes but is holding a blue bottle while the larger meerkat creature is wearing a red vest and red and brown drop-crotch pants, as well as red wrist bracers and a colorful necklace, they have dreadlocks on the back of their head and a green stalk between their teeth, one of their hands is extended forward and would be holding a censer if my screenshots weren't always taken in the worst possible moment)

Daka and Waka are a support duo of Maulers whose entire kit revolves around spreading smoke from their censer with different kinds of incense granting different buffs for their allies, with healing added to the mix at their ult. I couldn't even tell you which is which but know that the bigger one of the duo seems to be a parental or guardian figure to the smaller one – and is very anxious about anything possibly happening to their protegé.

(the picture here depicted a ginger hyena with a surprisingly large and fluffy-looking tail as well as very defined and round buttocks, he isn't wearing anything but a loincloth, a shoulder pad on his right shoulder, and a few leather straps that hold his quiver of blowdarts in place on his back, he has a blowgun in one hand and holds the index finger and thumb of the other hand up as if in a greeting, by his waist hangs the skull of a small cow and an inconspicuous flask, he has a leisure relaxed smile on his face, his eyes half-lidded)

The last Mauler of the bunch is Eddie. Okay, I lied, Eddie is probably my favorite design. He attacks with a blowgun and has a very relaxed air around him. For some reason, they gave him the seductive eyebrow wiggle in one of his animations. He's pretty decent at close combat too but definitely prefers to stay at a range.

(depicted here was Lelana, a graveborn young-looking woman with a very sleepy look to her, she has dark circles around her eyes like she hasn't slept in a very long time, her hair is very long and goes from dark gray on top to very light pale green at the ends, she is wearing a long layered dress of dark blue and dirty white with motifs of snowflakes towards the bottom, the white parts of her dress resemble melting snow, her long sleeves are poofy and white and she's wearing white gloves, over her shoulders is a dark blue overcoat and her neck is protected by a ruff, she is holding a tall and thin candelabra with three candles)

Lelana is absolutely gorgeous. That's it, that's my review. No, I'm kidding obviously. She's a mage who summons snowballs and snow-themed attacks, and I think her outfit is very lovely. It has the weight of a heavy blanket to it and it works really great. She doesn't move much but what few moves she does have in her animations are all fluid and elegant, albeit tempered.

(the last picture in this post was Igor, a graveborn whose face is completely hidden behind a knight-like helmet with only his long light green hair escaping it, a sword is sticking out of his upper back causing him to be hunched forward, a large iron with three heavy nails is rammed across his shoulder blades, and he has a heavy spiked shackle around each wrist, he isn't wearing a shirt and his pants, though they have holes in them, are a similar color to his skin but he is also wearing a loincloth over his pants, he dual-wields large blades and is crouching on a gravestone)

And last but certainly not least is Igor. He is somewhat similar to Grezhul with his kit of summoning gravestones but unlike Grezhul, he can teleport between them and activate them, giving debuffs and, I believe, damage over time to all enemies within a certain range. As for his animations, most are surprisingly aloof and seem to kind of hint at him perhaps feeling lonely as he currently is. Though only a full backstory will be able to tell us everything we need to know.

I will not get too much into the story and gameplay in this answer as this is already long enough but I want to mention one more thing regarding the battles. Aside from the battles having a hexagon grid system and thus a lot more combinations for positioning the party. Furthermore, there are various battle modes that allow you to experiment with your teams and units to figure out who works best where as well as devices you can manually use to turn the tide of battle. For example, there are defense battles where you need to defeat waves of enemies before they can damage a cart of supplies. There are solo battles where you can only use a singular hero to defeat several opponents. There are also tactical showdown battles where you can pick a limited number of units from a preset group and defeat tough enemies. The devices include a water gun that slows enemies down, walls and barricades that need to be broken down or circumvented, a flamethrower that deals damage and lingering burns, and more. The combination of all of these makes the battles really engaging and enjoyable, though, of course, you can still steamroll almost everything with high enough levels. There's also PvP, boss battles, and Labyrinth (although that one needs some severe adjustments).

Well, I'll get off my rant now, I'm sure I've wasted enough of your time. If you wanna see anyone's animations that I talked about or are ready to listen to me rant about the AFK Arena characters and their designs in the 3D art style, or anything else, hit me up anytime! My brain is overflowing with this game rn so I will be more than happy to answer anything!

#afk arena #afk 2 journey #afk journey #long post #sorry for ranting #also this took way too much time #tumblr had not one but at least twenty strokes #at the end of which it deleted the original ask #thanks a lot tumblr

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball GT 27

✨ GT Stands for Goin’ Tuffle ✨

This is the one where Baby takes over Vegeta’s body.  And I’m pretty sure this is also the only major appearance of Bulla, the daughter of Vegeta and Bulma. She was briefly glimpsed in Episode 2, but this is the first time she gets any lines, and later episodes will feature her as a Tuffle-ized minion.  I’m not sure that she got to do anything after the Baby Saga or not. 

Anyway, they’re coming back from a shopping trip, and she teases her dad about buying shaving cream.  It just really bums me out that we didn’t get to see more out of these two.  Not that I wanted GT to handle this, mind you.  I don’t like Vegeta’s portrayal in GT, and I don’t care for Bulla’s design here at all.  What I mean is that I’d like to see more of Vegeta as a parent, like he was with Trunks in the Buu saga, but with a different kid. 

There’s a part where two creeps drive alongside Vegeta’s car and flirt with Bulla, so Vegeta rips out their steering wheel, which forces them to run off the road and into the water.  How old is Bulla in this show?  Recent continuity laid down in Dragon Ball Super tells us that Bulla was born after Pan, and so she’d be younger here than Pan is now.  And yet, I’m not sure anyone knew this when GT was made, so it may have been assumed that Bulla was older.  All I know for sure is that Bulla can’t possibly be any older than 15 here, and she’s probably a lot closer to 13, so these two guys... yeah.  What really sucks is that they’re only the third and fourth worst offenders in this show.  Number one is Doltaki, obviously.  Number two is that Pitalian space deer. 

Last time, Gohan tried to rescue Goten from whatever had taken over his body, only to fall victim to the same menace.  Baby is now in Gohan’s body, and he’s brought Goten back to Capsule Corp. while he waits for Vegeta to show up.  Then he senses Vegeta’s presence and flies off to confront him.  The others are confused by his actions, but they can’t exactly stop him, and Baby no longer has any need for subtlety.

So he flies out to the road Vegeta’s driving on and blows up their car. There’s this memorable shot of Vegeta descending to the ground with Bulla in his arms, which is well produced but also stupid because Bulla has all the same super powers as he does.  Maybe she’s not as strong as Vegeta or Trunks, but she should be able to save herself from a car wreck.  She could at least float down under her own power, but then I remembered what Kozo Morishita said in that interview from 2005:  “Stories where the hero rescues the heroine have a sense of security. Therefore we created a pattern where Pan is imperiled and Goku gets mad at the enemy: ‘I won’t let you get away with this!’”

And that explains everything that happened-- and didn’t happen-- to Bulla in this series.  She’s Vegeta’s daughter, the one half-Saiyan character who didn’t get any spotlight during DBZ, so she ought to have a major role in this series.  But she can’t because idiots like Kozo Morishita couldn’t let go of the idea that female characters only exist to give male characters someone to save.  Bulla couldn’t go with the others on the GT ship because they already had one heroine for Goku to rescue: Pan.  There was no need for a second, so Bulla had to stay behind and wait for this episode.  And now that she’s here, she gets to play out the formula with Vegeta, getting “imperiled” even when there’s no actual danger.

Bulla gives Gohan the riot act once she recognizes him, but Vegeta knows something’s wrong, so he orders her to return home.  Bulla defies him at first until he throws her over to the car.  So at least there’s that.  I wanted a whole show of these two ordering each other around and throwing each other.  The ol’ Boss ‘n’ Toss, I call it. 

As they talk, Baby references King Vegeta, and then Vegeta says he recognizes Baby’s ki.  And then Baby confirms it: He’s a Tuffle. 

Meanwhile, Goten wakes up and seems like he’s back to normal, but then he gets all queasy and his eyes turn red.  He abruptly leaves Capsule Corp. without any explanation. Uh-oh.

Vegeta seems to have the fight well in hand, until Goten shows up “to help”, and it turns out he’s here to help Baby, not Vegeta.  Yeah, he’s still under Baby’s control, a plot twist that would have worked a lot better if they hadn’t jumped the gun with that red eyes visual before he left to join this fight.  He should have been like “Oh no, I just realized Gohan’s in serious trouble!  I have to go help him!” and then we’d find out what he really meant in this scene.

Remember when I was complaining about two Super Saiyans who look almost exactly alike?  Well let’s make it three.  Actually, Toei does me a favor by having Goten refrain from using Super Saiyan throughout this whole episode, but that’s kind of stupid, since he’s fighting Vegeta the whole time.

Well, “fight” is kind of a relative term, since the boys just rush around him in circles like a couple of idiots, and when Vegeta powers up to stop them, Baby makes his move and enters Vegeta’s body.  For those of you keeping score, this is the exact same way it’s gone down for every Super Saiyan Baby has taken over. 

Vegeta thinks he’s won, until Baby starts talking, and Vegeta realizes that the call is coming from inside the him.  I’m pretty sure Baby could assume control over Vegeta as quickly and as easily as he did the others, but he needs someone to hear him gloat, so he allows Vegeta the illusion of resistance while he tells his story.

“Our home planet Tsufuru was a world of scientific development, one of true peace and abundance.  But then, along came you barbaric monkeys, the Saiyans.  Do you remember?   We miscalculated the speed of your evolution.  The Saiyans' murderous instincts grew more powerful, and you killed the Tsurufians one after another, like insects... And at the center of your wickedness was your father, King Vegeta.   Having been cornered by you Saiyans, we took the remaining scientific ability that we had, and created a parasitic life form.   And then, King Tsurufu inserted his own genes within its cells, and launched it into space.”

So Baby has been the Tuffle’s ultimate weapon this whole time, which is why he basically dropped everything to track down the Saiyans.  But how can Baby possess Vegeta’s body and control Goten at the same time?  Baby explains that he lays eggs in every body he possesses.  After he leaves to control a new body, the eggs hatch, releasing cells that bond with the victim’s brain, making them subservient to Baby’s will. 

This, then, is Baby’s revenge plan.  Now that he controls Vegeta, Gohan, and Goten, he’ll continue laying eggs in everyone else on Earth, and rule its population from within Vegeta’s body.  And from there, Baby will continue propogating until he’s conquered the entire universe. 

Meanwhile, the GT ship has located the seventh Dragon Ball on a very cold planet.  They all wear snowsuits, except Goku, who refuses for no particular reason.

So they find the last one, and now they can go back to Earth... just in time to get killed by Baby. 

Okay, I didn’t want to bring this up before, but it’s kind of dodgy how Episodes 25, 26, and 27 all took place over the course of one day, and yet we saw the GT crew locate a Dragon Ball on a different planet in each episode.  Were the planets just really close together, or were these space scenes taking place out of sequence with the Earth plot?  Oh well. 

✨ Positivity Page✨

So after all this time, we’ve finally learned just what Baby really is.  This reveal basically completes the Tuffle Trilogy that began in Dragon Ball Z Episode 20, and continued in the 1993 OAV Plan to Eradicate the Saiyans.  Baby’s story doesn’t provide anything new to the Tuffle backstory, but his intentions toward the Earth do give some insight into the Tuffle mindset.  Baby isn’t just a weapon.  He identifies as a Tuffle, no different from the Tuffle scientists who created him.  And while Baby loathes the Saiyans as “barbarian monkeys”, he’s more than happy to use their bodies and powers to further his own ends.  By the next episode, Baby will refer to his slaves as Tuffles, and speak in terms of “Tuffleization” of the entire universe.  In that sense, Baby seems less like a revanchist weapon and more like a genetic archive designed to re-create the Tuffle species, decades after its extinction. 

The implications of all of this are pretty fascinating, although I’m not sure anyone at Toei was thinking that deeply about this.   Superficially, Baby is just a bwah-ha-ha supervillan with mind control powers.   He calls his victims “Tuffles” because it’s a quicker way to refer to them.  He wants to conquer the universe because that’s just stock supervillain fare.  The stuff that really intrigues me never actually gets addressed in GT.   For example, how would the Tuffle King feel if he could see what Baby is up to?  Would he be satisfied?  Horrified?  Would he recognize aliens like Goten as genuine Tuffles like himself?

I suppose there’s two possibilities here.  One is that Baby has completely gone off the rails, and his scheme bears little resemblance to what his creators actually wanted him to do.  The other possibility is that this is exactly what the Tuffles wanted to happen, and this is the sort of sick twisted shit that they did all the time, which is why King Vegeta wanted them dead in the first place.  But there aren’t any Tuffle survivors to comment on Baby’s actions, so GT can’t actually put Baby’s agenda into context. 

And while it’s an interesting idea, it’s not exactly original...

✨ “Good” “Ideas”, Poorly Executed✨

Okay, so this is just Hatchiyack from Plan to Eradicate the Saiyans. 

“Oh no!” you might say.  “This is totally different!  Hatchiyack fed on hatred and tried to poison the Earth with Destron Gas.   He didn’t mind-control the population like Baby is doing here.”

And that’s true, but Baby’s mind control thing is just the Black Water Mist from the Garlic Junior Saga.   This is just like the episode where Garlic and his henchmen took over Kami’s Lookout and dumped the Black Water Mist over the edge, and it took two more episodes for the good guys to find out what happened, by which time the whole world had been converted into Demons.

Toei isn’t even being subtle about this.  When the good guys finally free all the enslaved Earthlings, they use the Sacred Water as an antidote, which was the same thing they used to counteract the Black Water Mist. 

This is why I have my doubts about Toei thinking about the implications of Baby’s Tuffleization plan.  Baby talks about eggs and cells, but it’s never clarified whether the egg in Goten’s brain is a separate life form.  Is Goten the Tuffle, or is it the thing that came out of the egg and hacked his brain?  Or are they both Tuffles somehow? 

Does Baby have to personally lay eggs in every single person on Earth?  Can he use his other slaves to help him?  I don’t think anyone thought that through, because they were thinking in terms of the Black Water Mist, where it’s magic fog that turns people into bad guys.  They wanted Baby to do the same bit, and the whole egg-laying thing sounds creepy, but it takes a lot longer than magic fog. 

And this is the problem with GT.  They tried the “Grand Tour” and it wasn’t working out, so they shifted to this DBZ-style action story, except this isn’t working out either.  The problem isn’t that they picked the wrong direction or the wrong story.  The problem is that they suck at telling stories.  Look at Goku in this episode.  Why did he refuse to wear warm clothing to the ice planet?  He learned this lesson way back in the General White arc.  Suno gave him warm clothes and he could fight effectively.  Flash forward to GT, where Toei made him a child again to recapture some supposedly lost magic, and yet GT Goku is making dumb decisions that the actual kid version of Goku never made.  They tried to combine kid Goku and adult Goku and ended up with something much, much less than the sum of its parts. 

So you can redirect those same creative energies to setting up Baby as the main villain, but you’re going to run into the same problems.  If Baby was a Tuffle revenge plot from the beginning, then what was he doing on M2 that whole time?  If he had the ability to convert other life forms into Tuffle slaves, then why wasn’t he doing that this whole time?  By this time period, the Tuffles have been extinct for like 60 years.  Baby started the Luud project at least twenty years ago.  What was the point of that?  And if the Tuffles could do this sort of thing to Saiyan victims, then why didn’t they try it during the war instead of after they were all dead?

✨Is this episode worse than “The Roaming Lake”? ✨

Yes, it’s worse.  GT has yet to score. 

I’ve seen people praise this part of GT for giving us a “fresh” match-up like “Gohan vs. Vegeta”.  Except that’s not true at all.  It’s not Gohan fighting, it’s Baby controlling Gohan’s body.  And either way, the fight is just a lot of uninspired flaling around. 

You’ve got this part where Gohan drags Vegeta through the pavement, and a lot of posturing, and then Goten shows up and they just annoy Vegeta until he powers up, at which point Baby automatically wins.  You might as well call “Vegeta vs. that guy’s car” a fresh matchup. 

“Get ready to take it to the next level!”

The Tuffle stuff is always interesting, but it runs into the same problem we saw in the Hatchiyack story.  Baby’s trying to avenge something that happened before Goku was even born.  The Saiyan/Tuffle War probably predates Vegeta too, although GT Vegeta seems to recognize Tuffle ki, which implies that he’s met a Tuffle before, even if he didn’t actually participate in the war.  I’m pretty sure Toei just used that line to provide at least one character who would understand what Baby was referring to.  Unfortunately, this isn’t Vegeta’s story.  In fact, Vegeta’s been effectively written out of this story now, so his thoughts and feelings about the Tuffles are completely irrelevant. 

And that’s what makes all of this such a hard sell.  Frieza killed Goku’s parents, even if Goku himself doesn’t remember them.  Dr. Gero wanted revenge on Goku for things Goku did to the Red Ribbon Army.  There’s a personal connection with those characters, and I think Toei wanted to provide something similar with Baby, except it just doesn’t work.  All the people Baby is mad at are already long dead. 

More importantly, this string of episodes where Baby possesses people has become incredibly monotonous.  The only difference between this episode and the showdown on Pital is that Baby’s gotten more confident about his tactics, and he’s finally sharing some of his backstory.  But I’m still bored with it. 

✨ The Blade Braxton Memorial Haiku*✨

A girl Saiyan? How’ll

GT handle this? Here goes:

“Women be shoppin’.”

#dragon ball #2023dbapocryphaliveblog #dragon ball gt #really sucks #goku #vegeta #gohan #goten #trunks #bulla #pan #giru #baby #*haiku does not come with crown as illustrated

[charmsandtealeaves]

Ministry of Magic Monthlies | October 2022: Fall and Spooky

Prompt: [word] adrift

Read it on AO3

Summary: James Potter had always been on at her to ‘lighten up a bit’, now she was and he didn’t have the nerve to join in. Honestly…

Words: 564 

Photo by Timothy Meinberg on Unsplash

Adrift

It was uncharacteristically warm for June, sitting in at least the early 20s. When James had received an invitation to come hang out with Lily down at the lake a few days before the summer break, he’d been ecstatic. Now, seeing her adrift in said lake, he felt like he had stones in his stomach. He’d pictured a much different encounter in his own head, chatting in the shade of the trees on the grass beside the lake, maybe getting Lily to agree to a date or a cheeky kiss if he was lucky. 

Instead Lily was splayed out on her back on a bright pink inflatable lilo, one leg dangling off the lilo and disappearing beneath the water out of sight. She seemed extremely relaxed in her spaghetti strapped t-shirt and shorts, so much so James couldn’t even tell if she was actually awake with her sunglasses on. James called out to her from the bank but she made no movement. There was nothing for it. He kicked off his shoes, stripped off his socks, rolled his trouser legs up to just above his knee and waded into the lake as far as he reasonably could. 

He called out again. “EVANS!” At this Lily moved to lift her sunglasses off her nose, looked at him and then put them down again. She conjured a second neon green lilo next to her and slapped it playfully. 

“Come on in, the water’s fine.” She yelled back.

“Do you have ANY idea what lives in this lake Evans!?” James shouted. 

She laughed at him. “Haven’t you heard, Potter? The  giant squid and I are dating. Come on, get in.” He was always banging on at her to loosen up a little, now she was and he wasn’t having any of it. Typical. 

“Merfolk! Grindylows! Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“There’s sharks in the ocean and people still swim in it. Don’t bother them and they won’t bother you. Besides, I'm far too shallow for any of that.” She didn’t look very shallow to him, he certainly wouldn’t be able to hold his head above water all the way out there. 

“Sharks still kill people,” James replied. 

“Potter, cows kill more people every year than sharks. Are you going to stop me walking through fields as well? Just get in.” Lily chuckled, thought she was starting to sound slightly irritated with him. 

“I can’t”

“What do you mean you can’t? Just transfigure your trousers. Where’s your Gryffindor courage?” She asked. 

“Lily I can’t. I literally can’t.” 

“Why not?” Lily questioned exasperatedly. 

“I can’t swim.” James responded deadpan. 

Lily sat bolt upright on her lilo, now both legs were dangling precariously over either side. She shoved her sunglasses off her face and onto the top of her head. Staring him down. “You wot?” 

“I can’t swim Lily.” James repeated defeated. 

“Fuck. Alright hang on.” She paddled herself towards shore with her hands, until her feet could touch the sandy bottom of the lakebed. At which point Lily disappeared both lilos and waded her way towards James. “It’s alright. I’ll teach you.”

“Fuck off Evans you are not teaching me how to swim in the lake.” James growled defensively. 

“Merlin’s beard no. We’ll go up to the prefect's bathroom. Much less likely to be seen and much less likely I’ll drown you. But no promises.” She smiled. 

#Charms Library #prompted fic

[ctrsara]

Techless Wonder

Read on AO3

@Comfortember 2022 #16 - Shelter

“Let’s review: whose idea was it to take a tech-free camping trip, Pepper? Who insisted on it, actually?” 

Oh. Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say, based on his wife’s murderous expression. 

“Well, I didn’t know there was going to be a freak thunderstorm rolling in the third night, now did I?” she growled at him, a frightening mix of angry and really stressed out. “The temperature has dropped at least 20º in the last hour, and that storm system is definitely full of at least rain, and maybe snow. I admit I was wrong; I admit defeat. Now would be a good time to use your tech, Tony. Call a suit or something. Get us out of here.”

“Pep, honey. I did my very best to do exactly what you asked. I honestly don’t have access to anything until Happy gets us at the pick up point tomorrow afternoon. No FRIDAY, no suit, no phone even. All we have is what’s right here,” he said, gesturing to their campsite. 

Pepper’s eyes widened as she realized how serious he was. She took a deep breath and visibly tried to relax. Because this trip was supposed to be all about relaxing. No tech, no communication, no being called back because there was an emergency with SI or with the Avengers. Her vice presidents could handle SI. Wilson and Barnes could handle the Avengers, with Rhodey as back-up. Peter and May had Morgan. This was just Pepper and Tony, being together, without any interruptions. 

What a crap idea. 

“Ugh.” She dropped down in a camp chair, her head in her hands. “What are the chances our tent can handle a storm like that? Or the temperatures tonight?” Then more rhetorically, “ Why did I think it was a good idea to hike a few hours away from civilization to set up camp?”

Tony wisely didn’t answer that last question. But he’d better address the others. “Hon, our tent is for summer camping. It’s really not made for it. Our sleeping bags are decent, especially zipped into one big bag, but they won’t work if they’re wet.” He looked disgruntled. “Why didn’t FRI see this storm as a possibility?” 

“Did you specifically ask?”

“I thought I did. I’m sure I would have… Maybe I didn’t.”

“Tony, what should we do? Is it worth trying to make a run for it?” She knew that last one wasn’t feasible. It would be dark in two hours, and they were unlikely to be able to outrun the storm. “ Can we do anything to make this better?”

Apparently that was the right thing to say. Tony started thinking, then quickly started doing. Pepper did her best to follow his instructions and fill his requests as he relocated and remade their campsite in a flurry of activity. He asked her to disassemble the tent while he walked in a big radius around their current campsite, found a giant set of boulders that made a bit of a windfall, and re-pitched the tent with them as two of its walls. He had packed an extra tarp and some rope, so he rigged a third wall-slash-extra-overhead-rain-protection to supplement the light fly on their tent. He had Pepper gathering a bunch of dead pine boughs that he made most of a 4th “wall” with using dental floss to tie it all together. (“Who brings dental floss camping, Tony?”) and he rigged a larger shovel-like hand tool (which was surprisingly effective) to dig a big trench around their tent to divert any running water.

As they stood back and looked at his creation as the first raindrops started to fall, Pepper was amazed. “Just… wow.”

“You can tell me all about how amazing I am, but let’s get in the tent while we’re still dry, first,” he said wryly.

As they squeezed past the boulder to enter their tiny haven, Pepper asked, “Tony, you don’t even like camping. When did you ever learn any of that stuff?”

“Wilderness Survival Class my freshman year at MIT,” he said. It sounded like an easy ‘A.’ It was not. But just because I don’t enjoy something doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about it. 

“What about things you do enjoy?” she said with a grin, snuggling closer and pulling him in for a kiss. 

“Oh, I know much more about those. You might even call me an expert.”

-------------------

The surprising storm was one residents talked about for years. It dropped twice as many inches as they usually got that whole month, mixed with a little hail, even, and set a record low for July. But Tony and Pepper stayed warm and dry all night, courtesy of one random college course and a guy who was really good at problem-solving.

#comfortember 2022 #shelter #marvel mcu #tony stark #pepper potts #pepperony #camping #storm #fanfiction

[inavagrant-a]

@etherose​ (Signora)

If he had the pleasure of taking the course of time into account... what would he have done differently, he wonders of that now as he stares up at the oddly-seed shaped ceiling above him. He’s half-awake, he doesn’t know how long he’s been half-awake, but he isn’t entirely himself either, not after the clash that took place in the Sanctuary in which the traveler and the actual God of Wisdom dealt him the final blow. The gnosis ripped right out of him again and not just that but from what he’s been able to pick up since he’s regained his consciousness some days ago... Dottore got away with both the electro and dendro gnosis as well. It comes to no surprise to the ex-harbinger that he was used... yet again, he was used and like an idiot he let it happen.

“I won’t punish you,” that young yet benevolent archon spoke down at him then, “but you must learn.” Her eyes glazed with a stern sorrow, pity in her tone. Learn... ? Learn what? Don’t you dare pity me! He wanted to lash out, but how could he back then... his chest shattered, a grotesque hole where his rightful heart should be and should have remained, cracked webs extending from said hole on his chest all the way to half of his face, how his eye didn’t pop out of his eye socket then is quite a mystery still. The sight was unsightly, disgusting, it filled him with shame and rage. He is numb, truth be told he always told himself that he was numb to everything, but he knew better. He was convincing to everybody else but to himself and that only motivated him further, to disregard everything around him as his playthings until he no longer had no use for them anymore. The irony in that, when it seems like the one who got played in the end was him. But for a moment he got a taste of Nirvana, of his... promised land and then he didn’t in a snap of a couple of fingers. It was but a fleeting moment, a small pocket in time just for him, but alas for it was not meant to last. Temporary just like mortals. 

The web of cracks that were once on his face and glared at the world have mostly healed, nothing but thin lines now attempting to stitch themselves back together in due time, similar to scars when the skin tissue is trying to heal it to what it was before. The wound that simply refused to heal, however, was on his chest that, at this moment, is wrapped in dirt-caked bandages. The hole over the space his heart should be resting remains hollow, cold, and painful. It hurts. A consistent burn that doesn’t go away, a burn that doesn’t fluctuate. It does not get better, it does not get worse, but it also does not go away. It gets to his head no matter how much he tries to ignore it. He is numb, not physically, but in spirit. Oh, how could he have predicted... that his fall from grace would be so pitifully unbecoming...   

His defeat was days ago now and though the God of Wisdom allowed him the freedom to wander the lands of Sumeru, her one condition was simple and it was that he was not allowed to leave her lands. Not until you’ve learned to heal, were her words, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. But, the ex-harbinger isn’t stupid, he can feel her eyes on him, her powerful consciousness weighs down on his weakened mental state, and sometimes she even visits him in his dreams. He doesn’t precisely remember what the dreams are, but he knows she’s there from time to time, he could never mistake the heavy presence of an archon, young or not. The ex-harbinger came upon a little village filled with... forest spirits of some kind. Upon seeing him they immediately hid from him, he interpreted as the sight of him being so unsightly that they wanted nothing to do with him... but that changed when he collapsed on their green grounds. For they approached him and took him in, and attempted to tend to his wounds even though his case was no easy feat.

They were annoying... at first, they still kind of are. They’re called Aranara and this was their home Vanarana... or at least some semblance of that home. They tried to explain to him that he was in some sort of dream version of it, but he was far too exhausted to comprehend them.

“Scara Nara’s wounds look better today!”

“... That’s not my name.”

He told them his name was Scaramouche, he’s not sure how they got Scara Nara from it... maybe they had a difficult time pronouncing the whole thing?

They’d bring him water, fruits, and vegetables to eat... lots of fruits and vegetables to eat actually. He quickly learned that they don’t dine on meats. Not like he cared, since food isn’t something he needed to survive in the first place. And yet still, he’d take it and eat what he could until it hurt him to eat. But for a moment, when they’d come into the little house they made for him to rest he’d forget about many things and simply listen to what they had to say, the stories they had to share, even if he couldn’t understand their sentiments... a dark quiet voice in him wished that he did though. So much pain and yet they remained compassionate and hopeful. They reminded him... of him, the him he tried with all his might to kill off.

“... Does it not make you angry?” He asked one of them once, from where he laid on top of the makeshift leaf-bed that was made for him.

“Angry, Scara Nara?” The Aranara looked at him in confusion. 

He nodded. “Yes, angry. With the hand fate has dealt you and the way humans regard all of you?”

“I was only a seed when home was consumed. Thankfully it is just a story, not a memory.” The Aranara stated, shaking their head. “Anger consumes like marana, rots inside of trees, until not even the tree can be recognized as a tree. That’s not good!” The spirit claimed. “Tree will not grow anymore, marana will continue to eat until nothing is left of tree. Scara Nara, anger is like marana. I want to grow, be full of life, not be eaten until nothing is left. Don’t you?”

“...”

Strange creatures...

The Aranara surely are strange but... even he has to admit they carry some sort of untold wisdom even if he doesn’t quite get it.

He sighs and closes his eyes, choosing to try to slumber and hope for some sort of change, at least that was the intention until he hears something outside the little house he’s in. His eyes snap back open and he turns to look at the opening and notices how a bunch of Aranara seem to be fleeing from something or someone. The ex-harbinger furrows his brows. ‘The hell?’ He wonders and places one hand on his chest, groaning, as he uses his other limb to slowly sit up.

“Ugh,” he takes in a deep breath and then exhales. Who are they running from? Isn’t this some sort of dream world and only a select few can come into it? He slowly gets on his feet, hand still over his bandaged chest as he slowly walks out of the small house to check it out for himself, just in time too because an Aranara floats right towards him. “Scara Nara you must leave!” The Aranara says in a panic which only makes the ex-harbinger frown. “... Why? What’s happening?” 

The Aranara shakes, pointing at the direction everyone is running from. “Icy-flaming Nara, she feels dangerous! Must go!” The Aranara encourages, for good measure taking his hand and trying to tug him along with all the Aranara though there’s no budging from his part.

‘Icy-flaming Nara...?’ He wonders to himself.

#etherose #in character. #act iii: wanderer. #anyway i'm a mess #i'M A MESS I TELL YOU I'M AM ESS #THANK YOU SO MUCH BY THE WAY #love rping with you i always have a blast!

[bigolgay]

awwww i’m so glad to hear that, i really am! it means a lot! i’m just gonna say it again, as a little reminder, life can be a lot and i want this conversation to stay enjoyable for you, so late replies are totally fine!! :)

wellll…we’re not gonna talk about that haha, had a bit of a moment a few hours ago which is also the reason why i’m not following through on our new year’s resolution right now…sorry :// but i’m feeling okay now :) thank you hehe :)) haha yes! prime nap time! i love naps, i get up in the morning and can look forward to my little afternoon nap. also: have you ever thought about a nap date? i want to have a nap date! we meet up, get into our pjs, cuddle up together and nap :) i might fall in love straight away but i don’t care

oh no, please don’t! i started it! someone can be a cool person and still suck at teaching, and it doesn’t make you a bad person for feeling that way…that’s what i believe at least…and i mean…he must’ve known that his job included public speaking before he got into it haha

any way i can turn you into solid human form again? i think you won’t be able to face tomorrow as a liquid? ;) hmm but isn’t one month prior to the exams like way too late to start voicing concerns about some topics? they basically tell us to start studying in november…which i obviously didn’t do :)) you wouldn’t believe the fucked up stuff “educators” have said to my face before, so it wouldn’t really shock me if they told me i’m too stupid…but you know, that was when i was still in school and now i’m an adult at uni and they will probably treat me with more respect, so yeah…you’re probably right! i have a person in mind i could talk to, she doesn’t seem like the type to be rude, maybe i’ll have the courage to just ask her something after class and see what happens? thank you for saying what you said, you did not overstep and it wasn’t too long, it was exactly what i needed to hear to worry a bit less! it’s like you’re grabbing me by the shoulders and talking some sense into me, which i desperately need sometimes :))

nope, you can’t ;) mhm, you’re right! i think i need more people like you in my life, would you be open to cloning yourself and shipping your clone over to me? :))

i mean it can be scary if you actually fall, because you can like…badly injure yourself if you hit your head or something you know… and the moments leading up to it scare me a bit sometimes because your just not feeling well :// but yeah, i’d be very glad to have you there actually catching me haha, would’ve saved me from a lot of headaches :) an excuse to hold me? you know you don’t need an excuse right? ;) well, i don’t know about you, but i want to keep it right where it is ;) yes you, the sweetest!! i appreciate your take on the situation but i stand by what i said…you’re the sweetest!

should’ve just sent you a dm in my little moment of courage haha :‘) i don’t think i’ll ever be able to visit your blog again without imagining that little scenario in my head :)

i feel like a little calendar full of motivational quotes carefully curated just for you hehe :) oh stop it!!! now my heart is doing a thing again as well…you’re thinking way too highly of me <3

wow this got super long, but i felt like talking apparently, i hope you’re already asleep and that you’re gonna have a wonderful day tomorrow!!

My reply got deleted so we do this again💪

You’re so freaking sweet🥲like I’ve got toothache over how sweet you are. Thank you love, you’re always so patient and understanding. And of course, you don’t have to worry about late replies either, take as long as you need and want🫶🏼

Oh no, I’m sorry darling☹️how are you feeling now? Did you get some sleep? And don’t apologise angel😭you’re allllll good. Progress not perfection, remember? That applies to both of us. And plus, we’re aiming to improve our sleep schedules, we can still have nights where we’re up until early hours if we want/need to. I didn’t even know that was a thing… but now I know it is? Well, I’m gonna be thinking about it all the time🤣nap time + cuddles??? That’s perfection right there. I’d also fall in love instantly🤭

You didn’t start anything sweetheart, I just started tearing in this guy without actually knowing him lol🫣but yeah… I feel like public speaking kind of comes with the territory of being a teacher🤣

Nope. I’m only a liquid now. I am permanently melted by how lovely you are. Cannot be undone. Because you can’t simply stop being lovely. It’s impossible. Couldn’t if you tried. I will now go through my days as a liquid now🤣. Could you have started studying earlier? Sure. But the reality is you didn’t and I’m sure many others didn’t too. But it’s still not too close to the exams for you to not be able to do anything about it, you’ve given yourself some time to get on track. You might get a “you really should’ve started studying sooner/come to me sooner for help” but I *highly* doubt you’ll get a telling off or whatever. And the fact is, even if you they do tell you off (which they shouldn’t because you haven’t done anything wrong), although it’s not at all nice for you, their opinion of *you* doesn’t matter. They’re there to teach you and help you pass, you’ll finish uni and go on to whatever is next for you and they’ll be a flash in the pan of your life, a telling off or chastising because you didn’t study sooner is the worst that could happen and even after that, they’ll give you help. It’ll be… max 20 minutes of discomfort I reckon, and then you’ll leave and be in a better position and hopefully more confident in your abilities. It’ll suck but it’s necessary love🫶🏼. Some people shouldn’t be teachers. If they want to insult and belittle others then teaching is definitely not the job for them. Ridiculous. You’re not stupid at all, so get that out of your head immediately. You’re not stupid. And if anyone ever has said otherwise then fuck them. Good idea. And it doesn’t have to be a big thing, it can literally just be “I’m a bit concerned about how I’m doing and was wondering if you had any advice for me on how I can improve?”. You’re so brave sweetheart, I have full faith in you that you can do it❤️. I am here for you, and I will do my best to take some of the worry away and reassure you. Because you’re doing just fine, you’re doing great. I’m very proud of you🫶🏼

Now I dunno about that… I’ve always said that one of me is already far too many… but I suppose if I send my clone to you then that’s your problem and I don’t have to deal with it… so yeah if I figure out how to clone myself then I’ll send one your way😉

Oh that’s so scary☹️like… everything about it. The actual fainting is of course terrifying, but also the not feeling well?? Like feeling that somethings not right? So unnerving. I’m sorry sweetheart☹️. If I were there I’d keep you nice and safe and make sure you don’t get hurt🫶🏼. Well I know now… and I will definitely be taking advantage of that😉. I too want to keep it right there in that lovely brain of yours😉nuh uh, you’re sweeter. I dunno where you got the notion that I’m even a fraction as sweet as you, but it’s wrong😘

I’m just happy that your drunken courage made you message me at all, private or not, it’s nicer knowing you in some capacity than not (oh god… have I just outed myself as a total sap?). Hahaha I hope so🤣what a sight to behold… and to see that any time you pop over and see my blog? Lucky you😉🤣

Hehe they’re very good motivational quotes, I am honoured to receive them🫡. I think I think suitably high of you, you’re utterly delightful and I’m very lucky to have a sweet thing like you still here talking to me😉🫶🏼

I hope you’ve been having a good day so far, my dear!

#I had to type this throughout the day between doing things #so I’m sorry if it sounds a bus disjointed and weird? #a sweetheart has stumbled into my asks!

[allaboutabbott]

march 2, 2023

i talked to too many people yesterday, didn’t get a chance to write. which i did a lot of thinking, so that’s good too. i also started falling asleep at the gangway lmfao. but i think that just means i shouldn’t hit my pen after already taking an edible lmfao. its been so nice to have such a good routine with this schedule honestly, i feel like i am getting a lot of good, functional, time, where i am actually doing things that give me life.

i set up a contract on the bird over the summer! june 7th until august 16. so ill probably also go back to NYC for a while, because may is the busiest month for catering and it would be nice to get some shifts in there. especially during the spring, love the spring in new york. and if i go back for like two weeks i could actually have time to see people and all that. wow that would be SO FUN. and i won’t have to stress about any personal stuff, hopefully taylor will be there, and i could hopefully get a lot of reading done. although i say that all the time on the boat and it never actually happens lmfao. 

i think adrienne and i will get to be roommates next week!!! it will be so so nice to hopefully be able to see her more often, and if miranda and i were roommates AND on the same shift? that would be i think overwhelming for me. and it might be kinda nice if sarah kinda pursues her, especially bc they have overlap with hooking up with grace. i know i probably need to have the conversation with miranda, because its not fair to her to not. 

its funny also that miranda and i literally lived in the same neighborhood in NYC, where i thought i was going to like ‘self actualize and become the author i always dreamed of,’ and adrienne lives in san diego, next to LA, a place where i never thought i wanted to move bc it felt like the people there were so false and that it would be hard to make genuine connections. but that’s the problem i ended up having in NYC basically. in a different way i guess, those were all boring people, but still, it feels like the same sort of problem. i thought i would be able to connect with people in NYC better than in LA, and i haven’t lived in LA, but i do already have a lot a lot of friends out there, who could help me find those genuine connections. shit maybe i need to move out to LA and see what happens. bc also the tall ships run out of san diego tool, so i could do that for a min out there. and then i would have a place to live! and maybe i could get a scooter or something, MAYBE a motorcycle, but honestly probably not. 

i feel the precipice of another big change on the horizon. spring to winter is such an invigorating time of year, its like all the seeds you didn’t know you planted are suddenly bursting out of the soil. i didn’t expect to be thinking about making a change so soon, i thought deck would have kept me occupied for longer. i mean, at least i know i can always fall back on it, ya know? also we have no idea what the future holds, i guess i just didn’t think i would be thinking about it this much. venture was a very present contract, it felt like i couldn’t be anywhere but there, couldn’t focus on anything or anyone else. i feel like i kind of got consumed in it. i wonder if i have a tendency to do that, i’m thinking i do. especially with people i really really care about. i can really just give up my whole self for someone i love. why is that i wonder? well fuck actually i know!

talking with the therapist i realized i still have a lot of actions/thought processes that point to having low self worth/esteem. and honestly that makes sense. i feel like sometimes i don’t have a strong sense of self, or maybe its a strong pride in myself. i just feel like i am willing to give up everything that makes me happy, for me, by myself - willing to give it up for connection. and i know connecting with people is the ultimate source of life for me but this seems more to come from how i think love inherently has to be about sacrifice, self sacrifice specifically. “your work in the new paradigm is to give up being selfless and altruistic all the time. focus on elevating your own soul, and watch it ripple effect without you needing to manage how.” i feel like that is exactly what i’m struggling with. and also i don’t have to be the one to carry everyone, i feel like that’s what i try to do but that’s not at all how it works. and meeting people at their level does not meet lowering yourself, sacrificing yourself. 

maybe i need to remember that i am a person too, and connecting with myself is the same as connecting with other people. i usually go about it but connecting with other people helps me get back in touch with myself, but i could also work on trying to find my way back to myself by myself. it seems like i am trying to do that right now, and it feels like its working. it really doesn’t give me a lot of time for other people, but actually what tf am i saying? i have been hanging out with everyone i love here! the circle has gotten smaller, but honestly that is not a bad thing. 

god i really do love my life though. i feel like the amount of love and care i have been giving myself this past week has really boosted my emotional well being and my sense of self. gosh i really need to remember this, need to hold on to this practice. 

[lindsaymendzs]

healthcare system + my mom thanks for nothing <3

#not to keep posting personal vents but i seriously have NO IDEA what i’m going to dooooo #my mom isn’t giving me any contact info for the np and doing all correspondence herself without talking to me so i have no control #the np is getting certified for her own practice in august so my mom isn’t letting me make an appt until then #which means i won’t be able to actually see her until AT LEAST the fall and like. that’s 7 more p*riods maybe more i can’t wait that long #i have no control over what happens when i’m on it idk what i’ll do what if i h*rt mys*of or somebody else or ruin a relationship #or destroy something i need or jeopardize a job or make a scene in public i am seriously sc*red!!! #and i’m not gonna be like mom i need to see her right now immediately bc i’m afraid i’ll **** myself while i’m on my period but like. #looking ahead at an expanse of half a year of this with no intervention when it’s been getting steadily worse every month for the past year #it’s so horrible and scary it feels like there is no hope and no way out #i’m a college graduate and fully grown woman i should be able to make a doctors appt when i fear for my health and safety on my own time!!!! #not be scared of the future and powerless to do anything abt it bc my mom won’t let me for no reason #i just like. ughhhhhh i just want to go to a fucking doctor #no i will not tell my mother why i need medical help immediately yes i will tell my near 1k tumblr dot com followers that’s my business #in conclusion i hate this and i cannot promise that i will shut up about it. goodnight #the ‘faith is losing her mind’ series continues next week #faithposting

[astaroth1357]

How Often They Worry about MC…

For those who don’t know, I have a little dog named Charlie and she is a large portion of my world. There's no need to be alarmed, my dog is fine, but there are days where I hold her and all I can think about is how much I worry about her health down the line… I suppose we often do that for the people we love, particularly the ones who may not last as long as we will. Take that as inspiration if you'd like.

Lucifer 

Near constantly. 

If you tracked his blood pressure on a grid, you'd see it start to continuously rise about when he decided they were worth having in his life.

Lucifer is the eldest sibling to a whole crew of brothers so he's no stranger to worry. He worried about his brothers when they were young, he worried about them after the Fall, and he still worries about them now (even if he's less open about it).

But a part of him knows that his brothers can handle their own, at least to varying degrees. The MC, though? He's far less sure…

They've proven rather resilient, but also headstrong and reckless. Neither of which are good things to be in a place this dangerous...

If Lucifer isn't careful, he can catch himself staring at a wall or window just wondering where they are and if they're doing alright… If he called them every time he had a passing worry, their inbox would be full by the end each week.

He holds himself back because he doesn't have the time to constantly protect them, but that doesn't stop him from sending a text once or twice a day. They better respond or he'll start (secretly) panicking.

Mammon

He forgets their mortality from time to time, but every time he remembers it hits like a ton of bricks…

Mammon is a pretty "in-the-moment" person. He doesn't spend a lot of time dwelling on the future, but whenever he does the thought of losing MC always comes back to him again and again.

Like. It's gotta happen eventually, right? They're human, humans die, hell they don't even live that long to start with!

The MC can always tell when Mammon's getting worried because he'll get uncharacteristically quiet and pace around or hover by them…

Every little injury or strenuous task will suddenly seem like too much to him as well. 

If they need to carry some boxes, he'll carry them all.

If they have to jog to class, he's carrying them. 

If they so much as get a papercut, he'll have a heart attack.

It's not very hard to get Mammon out of these funks - he really does want them to reassure him that they're okay - but he's never going to get fully over it…

Not until he can steal whatever top secret immortality formula Solomon must have used anyway… He'll get it off that bastard eventually.

Leviathan

Thinks about it so often he has to actively try not to just to get any peace…

He dodges his fears for MC like a protagonist dodges lasting consequences. Every time he feels one creeping up, he's always got a distraction waiting…

"Hey where's MC at? I hope they didn't fall into the riv-OH HEY CHECK OUT THIS NEW GAME!!"

"What are they doing over there…? That looks hard, what if they bre-WAIT DIDN'T MY FAVORITE VOICE ACTOR JUST RELEASE A NEW PODCAST???"

"What if the MC dies tomorrow and they leave me all alo-DEVIL FIGHT 200! YOU CAN'T BEAT DEVIL FIGHT 200, LET’S BREAK MY HIGH SCORE!!"

Cut him some slack, his psyche cannot handle the idea of losing them on top of everything else he grapples with every day.

If, on the rare occasion, he does let himself fall down that rabbit hole he becomes extra clingy and practically begs MC not to leave his room… like ever. He'd bubble wrap them if he could.

Anytime they get really hurt or really sick he refuses to leave their side even if it means he has to awkwardly sit on the floor. He just needs to be able to glance at them every so often to be sure they're alive… Still breathing?? Phew…

Satan

He worries, preps, rationalizes, then worries again…

For Satan, knowledge is power and every scrap of information he can learn about MC is more power he can use to keep them safe and healthy.

Yes, he will want their medical history. Yes, he's going to need a list of prescriptions. Family members too. And no, you do not get a choice.

He'll read up on as many things as he can - pawn medical journals off of witches and get magical alternatives from Solomon.

The cycle usually goes: 

1. He's lying awake at night because he just heard about some terrible bacteria that makes human's skin peel off or something.

2. He does all the research he can on this bacteria, its treatment options, best prevention methods, etc.

3. Gets right about to break out the rubber booties for MC to wear around, then realizes they have a very slim chance of catching said bacteria since it's only native to incredibly remote parts of Indonesia.

4. Feels instant relief that MC will probably not catch flesh-eating bacteria and can finally sleep again…

5. Hears of some other human medical horror from Solomon and starts to worry…

It's a vicious cycle indeed… But at least he's getting a lot of medical training. Soon enough he'll be the Devildom's version of a human vet (which I guess is just a doctor, come to think of it. 🤔)

Asmodeus 

Lives so "here-and-now" that he doesn't remember often, but when he does it's always heartbreaking…

Asmo usually tries to worry about things as little as possible. It’s bad for the skin, you know? But when the MC is involved, all of that goes out the window.

Like how a delicate blossom eventually wilts in the snow, the MC is bound to leave them in time… Usually there's supposed to be something beautiful in that kind of tragedy, but perhaps he's just too close to them to find any romance in it.

The thought of their death gives him breakouts and anytime they get hurt or sick he's the first brother to offer them comfort. Every time.

Because he doesn't feel like he's as physically strong as he brothers, he tries to make up for it by minding their health in other ways. Anything to keep his MC strong and beautiful as always!

If Asmo is in a worrying mood, then he may also compensate by trying to take the MC out to a party or some fun event. Why sit around worrying by himself when he could be making memories with them now, right?

Beelzebub

It comes in waves, mostly at night.

When your thoughts throughout the day are mostly, "I wish I wasn't so hungry," it doesn't afford you a lot of time to think about much else.

In a way, it's a good thing since he experiences a lot less stress. But those worries are still there and they mostly plague his dreams…

Beel doesn’t feel hungry when he's sleeping, so a lot of his fears will make themselves known overnight. An injured or dying MC is often in his rotation of nightmares though, of course, he'd rather it not be…

After having one of these dreams, his first instinct is to always make sure the MC is okay. If they're with him, he'll hug them and check their heartbeat. If they're somewhere else, he'll go to them or shoot a text.

He has woken up without realizing his nightmare was all a dream though, and usually it's up to Belphie or MC themselves to console him while he cries… It's so heartbreaking, sweet boy just puts a lot of pressure on himself to be sure they're safe…

When he worries, it's like they're the most beautiful and expensive China set in a room full of bulls and hammers. If he could tape them to his side, he probably would. He gets scared for them that much…

Belphegor 

More scared about it than anyone else in the House.

Despite his calm demeanor, Belphie is truly afraid of losing his loved ones beneath the surface… He's already lost one of his most dear siblings before, going through that again may just break him.

Unfortunately, he's also felt just how fragile the MC is firsthand... He's not even the strongest of his brothers, yet he was able to snuff them out so easily… Who's to say someone else won't try?

Like Beel, MC's death is a recurring nightmare for him but he can usually shake off his dreams fairly well, if not change them mid-sleep. More scary is when something is actually wrong with them or they're not feeling well.

Belphie always sets his inner laziness aside for the MC when he can. If they get sick, he'll usually be right along with his family to take care of them - even if he has to skip school to do so (not that he cares about class anyway).

When he's worrying about them, he tries to play it off at first, but soon enough they'll notice him acting overly concerned and losing sleep… Best to calm him down before he starts getting cranky.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons