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#which makes me literally want to cry but i am slowly and surely getting back into reading
howlonomy · 10 hours
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Here it is:
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Alright, the Lore Shit: After killing Zenith Martlet and absorbing Asgore's SOUL, Clover decided to kill literally everyone in the Underground (minus the Ruins since they can't get back there) to make sure that any humans to fall in the future can't be killed by them (their ass was NOT listening to Flowey about how the Barrier works). So the constant release of ambient magic from the killed monsters plus them having Asgore's SOUL started to, slowly but surely, turn them into a Monster (and because of how slow it was, they didn't have any balance issues with the tail). Unknown to them, Asgore's SOUL had been collecting that magic, which is what caused them to change. They don't even realize that they've transformed since, as Sans states, they have distanced themself so much by having a LOVE of 20 that they don't even really seem to be there (also they have not looked in a mirror, no "It's you"s to be seen here)
For some reason I thought of this too, but their theme would either be straight up Enemy Retreating or a remixed All's Fair (which I have decided to call "Is It Fair?")
Stats: Same as always for the same reason, it just makes sense here.
Check: DOUBLE MEANING ALERT! DOUBLE MEANING ALERT! WEEWOO WEEWOO!
Sorry, but yeah. Traitor in the sense of "You killed everyone who cares for me" and "You killed all* the monsters while also being a monster" (a "You have become the very thing you swore to destroy" moment if ever there were). And "Justice" because killing people is never justice (unless it's the death penalty and ruled by a court of law but eh, semantics)
FLAVOR TEXT BECAUSE I HAVE THOUGHT THIS OUT WAY TOO MUCH:
Clover seems hesitant.
Clover can't seem to attack!
Are they... crying?
Because this fight is from the POV of a Pacifist Ending Clover (most likely in between exploring Ceroba's house and meeting up with Martlet on top off UG Apartments, again I have thought this out way too much) that means that nmm!Clover is fighting a human, which they really don't want to do, especially since that human is themself, so they hesitate and sometimes just straight up don't attack (I thought about including Familiarity again, but decided against it just so that I could have new material, it would absolutely fit, though)
Also, fun little fact I guess, but this is a complete inversion of the dt!Clover vs. nm!Clover fight! A murderous monster Clover fighting a pacifistic human Clover, and BOTH don't want to fight this time!
I realize that this may be a bit much considering this IS your au, but I can't help it when my brain starts thinking of this stuff, and it's so cool that I can't NOT draw it and share it.
ANYWAYS now I only have like one idea left. I am so close, but I will probably gain like seven others as soon as it's done, oh well. Enjoy!
WHAAAAATTT ALL OF THIS IS SO FUN???? the concept of slowly turning into the thing you swore to destroy is SOOO EVERYTHING…. and the play on alls fair??!??!? literally insane i am obsessed with it being called is it fair. because its not but i imagine nmm!clover being so distraught about being turned into a creature they hate and having to fight themselves. but its almost like penance for what they did.
AND THE INVERSE IS SO FUNNNN so many interesting new dynamics there; like if this fight took place before the final ceroba fight, clover wouldnt be nearly as close with everyone. sure, theyre angry at nmm!clover but also. they get it. im sure they would understand where they were coming from.
AARUGHHH THIS IS SO FUN I LOVE THIS LITTLE IDEA!!! ITS SO RICH IN CHARACTER AND LITTLE FLAVOR TEXTS
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sleekswosobession · 2 months
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late
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barça femeni x teen!reader
request: here & here
A/N: i love everything about this request. (i did make lucy ona and keira a throuple for the memes)
also Asisat has left.. no more dedicated funny person in my stories 😔
TW: Panic Attack
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You’re late. You’re never late. That’s how you end up on the phone with Ona, stressed and out of your mind.
“I’m not sure Ona! All I know is that my period is late, and I am FREAKING out, so god help me and come over please.” You’re borderline screaming at the phone.
“Ok ok, please just calm down I’ll be there soon. When I get there you better have an explanation of why you think you might be pregnant, you are literally 17.” You can hear her disappointment.
“Yes I know, I know. Just get the tests please.” She says yes and promptly hangs up the phone as you go back to worrying.
- - - - -
All was going well for Ona, she bought two tests which were different brands and payed for them without getting recognised by any fans. She opts to not buy a bag, considering it’s 8pm at night. It’s not like she was going to run into anyone anyways, right?
Wrong, immediately as she walks out of the pharmacy, tests in hand she bumps into not only her captain. But 1 of her 2 girlfriends as well.
“Uhh, what is that?” Lucy says, looking down at the tests in her girlfriends hand.
“I, uhh.” The younger spaniard starts to freak out, not wanting to put you in a vulnerable position.
“Tell us.” Alexia says sternly, leaving no room for argument.
“Well, it’s not for me. It’s for… it’s for Y/N.” The older women look visibly shaken and shocked.
“Disculpe!”
“Qué?”
They speak at the same time.
“Ok, I’m about to go to her house. Lucy you can come with me and Ale you can come if you’d like.”
“I’ll leave the nena to you both, just update me ok?” Alexia is concerned, rightfully so. Ona and Lucy nod, before getting in the car and driving to your place.
- - - - -
You open the door, surprised to see not 1 but 2 visitors.
“Hola.” You say before allowing them access inside the apartment.
“Sorry, I uh might’ve ran into Lucy and Alexia and I had to tell them.” Ona blurts out, you don’t worry though as it would probably get out anyways.
“It’s fine… can I just have the tests now?” She nods slowly, passing them to you before running off to the bathroom.
When you’ve followed the instructions and done what’s needed, you walk out and place the two sticks on the table, flipping them upside down. Once again you begin to spiral.
“Oh god, what if it’s positive.” You mumble, pushing your knees to your chest.
“Hey, if it is positive we’ll do our best to support you, if it’s negative then there’s nothing to worry about. Might be a cyst or something. Take deep breaths for me ok?” Lucy’s reassuring voice leads you into a less panicked state, and you just hoped that time would fly by faster.
When the timer on Ona’s phone went off, you felt sick. You took deep breaths as Ona scratched your back slightly. You counted in your head to three and flipped both tests open to reveal one negative… and one positive. Oh fuck.
“Ona? Luce? Please. What do I do, I’m scared.” Tears stream down your face, your body starts to shake and Lucy immediately holds you tight against her.
“Shh, shh, it’s ok. It might be a false positive, youre going to be ok I promise.” She says as you’re crying, her words fall deaf in your ears as you can only sob harder. Now going into a full panic attack.
“Call Keira, I’ll message Alexia.” Ona nods and calls the other Englishwoman.
- - - - -
It’s around 5 minutes later, you feel like you’re going to pass out when there’s knocks on the door. You register something else happening and soon enough someone has their hands touching your knees and speaking.
The person takes your hand and puts it agaisnt something that’s beating and you try to get in sync with it.
Soon enough, you regain your senses and it’s Keira who’s pulled you back to reality. It seems she knows you’re back with the look she gives.
“Hey…” She whispers softly, wiping the tears out of your eyes. “Whatever happens, you have me, the team and we won’t judge you at all. Ok?” You nod.
It takes a few more minutes until you’re basically back to where you were. You look up at their curious gazes.
“You can ask questions if you want.” You answer the unspoken question.
“So you… you had sex.” You nod at Keira.
“With a guy?” Ona pipes up and you sigh nodding your head again.
“Ok, how about this. Give it another week and we’ll do another two tests, IF you haven’t got your period by then, sound good?” You half-smile and stare at the table.
“Do you want any of us to stay at all?” You shrug, not even sure what you want at the current moment. “Ok, Keira will stay with you and you’ll go to training in the morning. We updated Alexia and she’s worried. She agrees with us about the waiting and what we’ll do after today. She might want to speak to you tomorrow though.”
“Ok, thank you for everything Luce and you Ona.” You look at both of them, smiling gratefully. They pat you on the shoulder before walking out to presumably go home. Then Keira turns to you.
“I brought stuff over in case, don’t worry about lending clothes or anything like that.”
“Ok… could you maybe sleep- like in the bed with me?” You ask, slightly embarrassed.
“Not at all come on, you need the rest.” She leads you to your room and you immediately crash fast asleep against the pillow.
- - - - -
The next morning when you wake up, you know something has changed. There’s a light ache in your abdomen and your muscles are slightly sore. Keira is peacefully lying beside you and you’re happy that she stuck to her word and stayed.
You lazily make your way to the bathroom to use the toilet when you feel as if God has blessed you. low and behold that positive from the previous night was a false one.
You feel immediately at ease and get done what needs to be done in the morning.
“Keira!” You greet happily, she smiles slightly confused. Considering it’s such a dramatic change from last night.
“What’s up?” She asks.
“I finally got it.” It takes a second for her to register what you meant by that but when she does she’s also happy.
“Well, that’s great. Come on, eat this muesli bar and we’ll get going, then you can tell the girls about it.” You nod and head off to training.
- - - - -
When you walk in the room where all the girls are, the ones who knew look at you in surprise of the look of joy on your face.
“Why so happy cariño?” Ale asks.
“Well it seems like someone has blessed me because this morning I got what I’d been hoping for. My period.” You say dramatically and she smiles.
“YAYY THE BEBE ISN’T PREGNANT!” Mapi’s loud voice shouts as you look down, cheeks turning red.
“Welcome to womanhood elskling.” Ingrid pulls you in and presses a kiss against your temple.
—————————————————————————
i fangirled so hard today on the woso writers discord
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msbyslilbimbo · 4 months
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toji!!! with a piss kink who is so mean to you :(
he forces you to drink water bottle after water bottle, lemonade after lemonade, then only two hours later, when you try to sneak to the bathroom, immediately snarls at you "the hell you think yer going?"
"...bathroom?"
"i sure as hell don't remember telling you you could," he snaps, standing up and stomping over to you. you cower at his raging dominance, but you can't help but moan as he grips your chin in his meaty fingers and dragging your face closer, "in fact... you don't piss until i tell you to."
memories flood back at the last time he made such a command, and you whimper in distress and try to talk despite the smooshing of your cheeks, but all he does is smirk, "that's not a negotiation, brat."
"toji no please-"
"don't make me repeat myself."
and that's where it's left. you, whimpering and caught under his feet the entire day until he takes mercy.
there seems to be no mercy for you. you're not even sure if this isn't a punishment anymore, his cruelty is harder than it has been in weeks, and you're not even sure what you did.
when you're cuddling, a warm hand rests on your bladder, massaging slightly while you squirm in discomfort. when youre play wrestling, his hands dart under your arms and tickle you furiously, and you physically have to cross your legs in between shrieks to make him stop- which he almost doesn't in time, and you nearly sprayed the couch with everything your body holds.
close. too close.
and it continues for hours- drinking, massaging, another form of stimulation. drinking, massaging, another form of stimulation.
this is it. this is the time you're going to piss your pants. you're positive.
"'c'mere babygirl," he finally calls, and you shift over as quick as you can despite your circumstances. you give him a set of puppy eyes and he looks you up and down. he smirks, "you look so defeated. is not letting you piss yourself really so bad you could cry? is that it?"
"you're so mean," you whimper.
"you don't even want to know how mean i can be, dollface. knees." his dark eyes flick at the floor, and you take a grounding breath and slowly sink to your knees in front of him. "i am impressed though," he confesses. "i thought for sure you'd've safe worded by now."
"i can't hold it anymore," you sniffle, stuck to the floor in fear of relieving yourself when you try to stand.
he gives you a dramatic sigh and steps forwards, making direct eye contact with you as the toe of his shoe kicks your knees apart. his shoe then makes the signals in your brain process on hyper drive and presses firmly, hard against your swollen bladder, nestled between your legs.
you sob. he smirks.
"pee. now, before i change my mind." the foot presses deeper, your bladder literally sloshes.
"i c-ant-"
"let it out, babyface."
"toji it hurts please-"
the foot on your bladder pressed harder, and you physically can't stop it. you let out an embarrassed wail and bury your face in your hands while you cry softly, the warm fluid slowly trickling past your pussy lips, over your thighs and onto the floor and into the gaps if tile. you can't even begin to try and look at him, so self-conscious and warmed by your own urine that slowly turns cold under the chill of night.
it takes minutes, literal minutes for the piss to stop dribbling from you, and the whole time, toji says nothing, merely watching your quivering frame on the floor and listening to the dripping of your fluids.
once you're finally done, you hear footsteps slowly approach and scoop you up, pressing a kiss to your temple and walking you down the hallway. you can't even imagine looking at him right now, completely withdrawn from his attentions. you're embarrassed, you're cold, and you would hate him, if you didn't love the praise he whispers in your ear afterwards.
"gets hotter every time," he assures, nudging the door of the bathroom open with his knee and placing you in the tub. "get undressed while the water warms up, i'll be in to clean you in a sec."
and you whimper and slowly remove your clothes, turning the knobs to let the cold water fill the tub before transforming to warm. in the other room, you hear him opening cabinets to clean your mess, and you let a shaky exhale out as you pile your wet clothes and pull the stopper on the tub.
for as feral as toji can be, you can't ignore the thump of arousal that brews as he cleans just a few rooms over, an arousal he'll degrade you for but ultimately relive you with.
you'd be lying if you wanted it another way fnfjfdnkwdjw
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flrtriki · 17 days
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How they are during sex
Jungwon, riki ver.
Warnings: unprotected sex (plz don’t) degradation, mentions of breeding kink? Fingering, first time sex, slight dacryphilia, don’t like it don’t read or interact, block me immediately.
JUNGWON
Jungwon strikes me as someone who isn’t quite dominant but isn’t submissive either. He takes on whatever role his pleasure pulls out of him.
Basically the power share in your relationship is 50/50
Some days he’s whining in your shoulder while his hips piston in and out of you, rough pace contrasting with how pretty he sounds in your ear.
vv whiny
Lots of “fuck y/n, baby you feel so good”
Panting against you the whole time
body to body, skin to skin
He’d probably make the hairs on the back of your neck stand if he wasn’t pressing you into the mattress so hard.
He can’t help it and doesn’t even realize he’s putting all his weight on you as he pounds you.
Love it when your rake your nails down his back or pull his hair to get him to look at you.
“Look at me when you cum, wonie”
Lasts approximately 24 minutes, not including foreplay.
Prefers to touch your body slowly during foreplay because he knows it makes you desperate, makes you cum harder when he finally slides into you.
Kisses on your inner thighs until you’re gripping his hair trying to force his face into your cunt.
“Stop fucking teasing me, Jungwon.”
He’d chuckle conceitedly, loving how much power he had over you in that moment
“Am I pissing you off baby? Want my tongue in your pussy that bad? Slut”
He’d take his time enjoying his shenanigans
Because the moment he’s inside of you he will lose himself
“S-slow down won” you’d plead breathlessly, his fast pace knocking the air out of your lungs
“ I can’t” he’d cry
Yeah the two of y’all fuck like rabbits.
He doesn’t care who can hear y’all either
He won’t go easy on you just because the members are around
And he’s sure as hell isn’t going to hold back his own noises
“pussy’s too good for that” he claims.
“You sound like a slut” you’d tell him, and he’d only hope you didn’t feel the way he twitched inside of you
Cums inside usually and whines when you make him use condoms when you’re ovulating..💀
“You don’t want babies with me?”
“Jungwon we are babies”
“Oh.”
RIKI
Sex is fairly knew for the two of you
But it was talked about a lot before it actually started if that makes sense
The older members would occasionally pull the two of you into a quiet private room and talk to you both about being “safe” if you were having sex
You and Riki weren’t even active at the time of these conversations which made it all the more awkward
He would never tell you about the conversations he had with Jungwon
The ones that consisted of him being worried he wouldn’t be able to please you
That was why he hadn’t made a move
A part of you was worried he didn’t find you sexually attractive.
That was far from the truth, and you drove him crazy on the daily without even realizing
He also had a tendency to get hard over literally anything you did and he hated himself for it lowkey
You hug him? He’s hard. You kiss him? He’s hard. Smile at him? Hard again.
But all of this changes one night, when you’re staying the night at the dorms
You’re laying next to him in his bed, his arms wrapped around you as usual
He had already been on edge, the smell of your sweet watermelon shampoo clouding his mind
And you’d turn over on your side, snuggling your back into him
But all he felt was your ass backing into his lap
You’d huff, feeling uncomfortable at whatever was hard against your butt
“riki can you move the tv remote? It’s digging into my back”
He wouldn’t respond for a moment and you almost repeat yourself but he cuts you off, his hold on your waist getting tighter as he groans.
“That’s not the remote.” he says shakily.
You turn to face him and it feels different than any other time you’ve looked at him
There’s tension.
“are..are you hard?” you’d ask quietly and he’d groan, covering his face with his hands
You would gently remove his hands from his face and he doesn’t tell you that your touch feels like it’s burning his skin.
“I’m sorry y/n”
You’d be confused at his apology
“Are you apologizing for being attracted to me? I was starting to get worried..you just never seem interested.” insecurity would flash in your eyes and he’d feel like shit.
“It’s not like that. I just didn’t want to scare you.”
He’d take your hand in his, guiding it to where he needed you. “I want you so bad. All the time.”
You’d lean in and kiss him, and he’d roll on top of you, caressing the side of your face
You had made out before but this was the most you’d ever felt from having him touch you, it just felt different from the other times
He’d be kissing your neck when you moan his name for the first time, legs wrapping around his waist and he couldn’t help but buck against you
“Fuck, okay w-wait. Before we go too far. Do you want this?” He’d ask, forcing you to look at him.
He could see the lust in your eyes and having you look at him like that was making him twitch in his pants
“Yes riki” he would search for hesitation in your eyes but there was none, so he let his hips connect with your again, moaning against your shoulder. “What do you want me to do to you?”
“I don’t want to say it” you would whine and his heart just about melted. You had always been shy.
“Baby i can’t make you feel good if you don’t tell me how”
You felt like you were melting, how dare he use your pleasure against you?
“Want you inside.” You’d whisper and the intimacy of it all made the room feel heavy.
“Fuck. Yeah, okay” he stumbled over his words.
He’d definitely finger you first, and you’d never tell him but his fingers were heaven sent.
They were long and the way he curled them inside of you made the pressure in your tummy increase each time he rubbed that spongy patch that made you gush around his fingers.
“you’re so wet..” he’d marvel, staring down at the way your vagina clenched around his fingers every time he spoke to you.
You’d actually cry out when he began to circle your clit with his thumb, grabbing his wrist.
“I’m so close!” Your voice pitched up the closer you got to falling apart and he made no attempt to quiet you down, because it seemed like you couldn’t control it.
He’d increase his pace, fingers making a slick noise every time he pushed them into you, laying his palm flat against your clit as he watched your face contort in pleasure. “Nghnn, riki fuck! fuck yes!”
He moaned with you, biting his plump lower lip as he finger fucked you through your orgasm, until you began pushing his hand away claiming it was “too much”
He would stand on his knees, pushing his pants down his thighs and letting his erection spring free.
As if he could see the fear on your face at his size, he holds your chin to get your to look at him.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You’re in control here.”
You’d shake your head “I want to. Just…Will it hurt?”
Riki would never lie to you. “It may hurt for a little. But you know I’d never do anything to hurt you.” You’d nod “I know”
He would reach into his bedside drawer, pulling out a condom and opening it with his teeth, rolling it onto his length.
He would never tell you, but he had practiced that too.
He’d hold himself by the base, lining his tip up with your hole. He’d look at you for the go ahead, only pushing his hips forward when you urged him to.
It’d probably take a good 10 minutes for him to get inside you
He’d comfort you through the whole thing
“It’s okay, I know”
“I’m right here”
“Hold my hand”
splitting you open on his dick made him realize he has a thing for seeing you cry, he felt like a sick fuck.
But the way you were clamped down on him like a vice had him throwing his head back before looking down at where the two of you connected.
“Try and relax a little bit love” he’d tell you and you would nod taking deep breaths
“You can move”
He’d start slow, hissing at the drag of his cock against your gummy walls. You were so warm and the look on your face as he penetrated you made him feel like he could bust at any moment.
He’d resist that feeling though and actually last a good 15 minutes, slowing down his pace when he felt that familiar tight feeling in his balls
“Faster” you’d moan as his thrust were already pushing you further and further up the mattress, the bed squeaking lewdly.
He’d oblige and that’s when things really started to kick up
If you’d known sex with him would feel this god you would have done it a long time ago
His tall frame over yours would make you feel so hot, your naked breasts bouncing with each snap of his hips, only enticing him more.
“I’m not gonna last much longer” he would confess, hips starting to stutter.
He would reach between the two of you, rubbing your clit in tight circles and thrusting quickly, short “ah, ah, ah” sounds filling the room as the both of you approached your highs.
Long story short even though you and him are new to this he’d put your comfort and pleasure before his
He exudes a really caring and responsible nature during sex and has the ability to make you feel safe immediately.
Definitely prefers going fast over slow, he’s so needy :(
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frodo-with-glasses · 5 months
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More Reading Thoughts: Three Is Company
Frodo calling it “Our Birthday” is making me feel things. Oh would you look at the time, it’s Crying About Bilbo and Frodo O’Clock again TT~TT
It’s honestly such a mood that Frodo says to himself “I’m following Bilbo!” so he doesn’t have to think about “I’m carrying a thing of great evil into danger and unseen ends”. Me too, Frodo. Me too.
“And see that Sam Gamgee does not talk. If he does, I really shall turn him into a toad.” 🤣
“Bilbo went to find a treasure, there and back again; but I go to lose one, and not return, as far as I can see.” OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME—
Also “and not to return” is so heartbreaking, especially knowing that by the time he gets to Mordor Frodo is fully expecting to die at the end of his journey TT^TT
“It may be your task to find the Cracks of Doom.” JUST DROP THAT FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE LIKE IT’S NOTHING, HUH, TOLKIEN??
Also teehee crack
Yes I am a twelve year old boy on the inside, moving on
The local shade towards the Sackville-Bagginses is HYSTERICAL
“Ah yes Merry is looking out for a house for me in Buckland.” INSTANCE #2 OF MERRY BEING ORGANIZATIONALLY GOATED
I’m honestly very impressed by how neatly Tolkien crafted Frodo’s backstory and interwove it into the story. The idea that he’s going back to Buckland where he grew up really does seem credible! None of the hobbits would suspect a thing! I almost have to wonder which came first in Tolkien’s mind, Frodo’s backstory or the fact that he’d need a good excuse to go East. It’s so well-crafted and it makes my writer brain happy.
F in the chat for Folco Boffin; we know your name and nothing else about you
Frodo draining the last of the wine like “lol at least the Sackville-Bagginses won’t get THIS!” is very funny to me
I have said it before, I’ll say it again, Frodo looking in the mirror and going “geez I’ve gotten fat” will NEVER NOT BE FUNNY
“Frodo did not offer [Lobelia] any tea.” I hereby name you Frodo Sassville-Baggins.
Aww, the Gaffer agreed to Sam going to Crickhollow to work for Frodo!
If only he knew just how far he was really going
“…though it did not console him for the prospect of having Lobelia as a neighbour.” o7 for the Gaffer, everybody
And they had tea by themselves and left the dishes for Lobelia 🤣 FRODO SASSVILLE-BAGGINS
“‘Coming, sir!’ came the answer from far within, followed soon by Sam himself, wiping his mouth. He had been saying farewell to the beer-barrel in the cellar.” LOL
Also I can’t blame him, knowing what he’s walking into
“He waved his hand, then turned and (following Bilbo, if he had known it) hurried after Peregrin down the garden-path.” OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE—
Frodo, whining: "My bag is so heavy" Sam, lying: "I could carry more, sir!" Pippin: "Oh no you don't, let him suffer"
Honestly the dynamic of this trio is super underrated LOL
I'm honestly not sure whether "well, we all like walking in the dark" is meant to be sarcastic or genuine—the way it's repeated later on makes me think it's genuine, but I can't be sure—so just to be safe I'm bringing the Frodo Sassville-Baggins score up to 2.5
I'm taking the time to read the walking bits slowly now, and honestly, the way Tolkien describes the countryside of the Shire is so beautiful. I want to go there, and I want to walk there, and I want to see what the hobbits are seeing. Every little piece of nature and topography elicits an emotion; from the enclosed safety of Hobbiton, cradled in its cozy little valley, to the great fir tree standing guard over the hobbits as they sleep, to the road winding endlessly on before them, promising still more work and beautiful scenery and adventures to come. Is this slow reading? Yes. But I love it so much.
Frodo wakes up and the first thing he does is grumble to himself about his back and neck. He really is an old man. I love him.
Honestly this entire scene is comedy gold
Frodo: "Wake up, hobbits! It's a beautiful morning." Pippin, a literal teenager: "What's so beautiful about it?" ROFLOL
Pippin, literally out in the middle of nowhere: "Sam, draw a bath!"
And for that, Frodo steals his blankets and makes him roll over. Frodo Sassville-Baggins score: 3.5
Pippin: "Water! Where's the water?" Frodo: "I don't keep water in my pockets!" SASSVILLE-BAGGINS SCORE: 4.5
And then he makes Pippin come get the water with him, since he wants it so badly. I love Exasperated Older Sibling Frodo and I wish we got to see so much more of it.
Pippin, after Frodo randomly bursts into poetry: "Wow, was that Bilbo's poetry, or yours? It's kind of a downer."
I'm so glad they kept the "it's dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door" line in the movies, because it really is so good.
Sam's canonically good hearing returns!
Frodo suggesting they prank Gandalf for being late is honestly so cute lol
Twice in this chapter we get the eucatastrophe of Frodo just barely not putting on the Ring, right at the last second. The first time, the Black Rider just walks off on his own, and the second time the Elves show up and scare him off. I will praise Frodo's virtues 'till Spring turns into Winter, but I think this is clear evidence right from the beginning that Frodo was not, and could not, be saved from the temptation of the Ring by any virtue of his own. He is saved; he does not save himself. All of which is honestly very Christian of Tolkien.
Pippin, to Frodo: "All right, keep your secrets!"
I love the walking song. I might do a revised recording of it, if you guys will tolerate my singing voice again X-D
Can we just acknowledge how bad*ss it is that Frodo sneaks up and spies on a Black Rider, just out of curiosity?? Like, I know this is more a feat of stupidity than it is of courage, but given everything we know about them by the end of the book, that is honestly WICKED cool.
Sam, having to be dragged back by his arms: "ELVES! ELVES!"
GILDOR!!
GILDOR MY UNDERRATED BESTIE
I can't wait to draw Gildor. He's gonna be so PRETTY
"But we have no need of other company, and hobbits are so dull" is so funny tho
The Elves, with all the love in their hearts: "You can't sit with us, you're boring!"
FINROD MY MAN
I have not read the Silmarillion, but I know enough about it to know that Finrod is the G.O.A.T.
The Elves: "You're being followed by Black Riders?? Okay you're coming with us now"
Frodo speaking the High-elven tongue like a NERD
I love him
And Gildor immediately like "LOL y'all watch your language, the babies can understand us!" I love him dearly
....Okay wait I have a thought about the hobbits walking with the elves until they nearly fall asleep on their feet. A thought about soldiers and Tolkien's experience in war. Wait. I'm gonna have to make a post about this.
Eyyyy it's the Turin constellation!
Something about the Elven hall did indeed become a core memory for young Lady Glasses. I spent quite a few years building a fantasy world that would capture that sense of mysticism and wonder. Just like Sam and Pippin, I never really remembered the details, but the emotion stuck with me, and it enchanted my imagination.
The Elves bringing out a Thanksgiving feast and saying "sorry we don't have better food" is like going over to your friend's immaculately cleaned house and them saying "sorry for the mess"
Frodo speaking the Elves' language and charming them all is so cute
Sam falling asleep at Frodo's feet as he talks to Gildor is SO CUTE
“At last Frodo asked the question that was nearest to his heart: ‘Tell me, Gildor, have ever you seen Bilbo since he left us?’” OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT—
"My faithful Sam" UGH THE FEELS
Gildor: "But it is said: 'Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.'" Frodo: "And it is also said, 'Go not to the Elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes.'" HAHAHA GETTIM FRODO
SASSVILLE-BAGGINS SCORE: 5.5
Gildor saying "you don't need to understand the Black Riders, just stay away from them" is honestly very Christian of Tolkien too. The best spiritual warfare advice I've ever heard is "don't try to understand demons; just get as close to your Protector".
Anyway Gildor complimenting Frodo is very cute and that is all
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pagesfromthevoid · 1 year
Text
Cowboy Like Me | d.d. | 10
Din Djarin x princess!reader
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: ANGSTTT. Descriptions of blood and wounds. Brief (very brief) mentions of SA (not described).
Author’s Note: Another ✨Woops✨make sure you read PART 9 first!!
Series Masterlist | Talk to Me!
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The Dagger
Her arrival on Senex was not one of celebration. 
Perhaps for her people it was; they were so excited for her to return to them. It seemed that her mother had put out word that she was taken by Din, and that she was saved by Silas and Calisto from an uncertain future. If only they knew the truth; if only they knew what Calisto had done to their Senator, to their princess.
No, her arrival on Senex was not one to celebrate. 
When the doors of her home slammed shut, Calisto pushed her towards her childhood bedroom. Two guards –storm troopers, dawned in their white suits and helmets, with blasters in hand –were posted outside her door. It was an easy thing to avoid; troopers were notoriously bad shots and she had snuck past them before. 
However, she wouldn’t be so lucky again.
“This time,” Calisto hissed, grabbing her daughter’s arm and yanking it forward. “You will not get nearly as far as you did.”
Her lady-in-waiting, Isowen, stepped forward with a tray. The young woman looked sick to her stomach, distraught as she removed the covering. A scalpel and bacta spray sat waiting, with a chip that flashed intermittently. Her eyes widened as she realized what her mother was about to do, and with everything in her, she tried to fight back and drag herself away.
“No, no, no,” she begged, but Calisto didn’t loosen her grip. “Mother, please. Don’t. I’m begging, please. Please, please!”
“You should have thought about the consequences of your actions,” Calisto snapped, calling the guards in. They pinned her down, holding her arm down as Calisto lifted the scalpel. “The less you fight, the less it will hurt. Hold still.”
She started crying, screaming out as the knife sliced into the skin of her forearm. The guards held her down harder, no doubt bruising her shoulders as they pressed their armor clad knees into her. The knife was not the worst part –the chip, which was then literally pushed into her wound, was jagged and sharp. Her body shook from sobs, begging her mother to release her, to stop, to let her go. But Calisto ignored her as she sprayed the open wound with the bacta. 
Isowen handed Calisto bandages, offering to finish the stitches with a soft, shaking voice. Calisto, with her daughter’s blood on her hands, stood and snatched the towel. There wasn’t a response; just a wave of her hand and a release of the guards. Calisto and the guards exited without a word, leaving her sobbing on her bed –blankets stained with blood, the wound on her arm slowly being stitched together by the Twi’lek beside her. 
“Milady,” Isowen whispered, trying to sooth the sobs coming from her mouth. “I am sorry, I did not want to. But your mother –Lord Credence –,”
She just shook her head, eyes screwed tight as tears fell. She didn’t want to talk, she didn’t want to hear excuses. She just wanted this to end. Nothing could fix what her mother had done, and now she was trapped in that Maker-forsaken house with guards at her doors. Even if Din managed to save her, there would be nothing that could stop her mother from finding her again. Not with a tracking device literally embedded in her arm.
“All will be well,” Isowen promised, finishing off the stitches with wrapping her arm in a bandage. She ran a soft, blue hand over her hair. “I know why you ran away, milady. I know you were not taken by the Mandalorian.”
“Pl-please leave,” she whispered, voice broken as she curled into herself on the bed. Her eyes were stuck on the blood that stained her sheets, heart threatening to burst from her chest. 
Isowen hesitated before standing, giving her one more pitying look before she slipped out of the bedroom. She thought of Din, and Grogu. Thought back to that night in the hut, with her gown and tiara. Where Din wrapped his arms around her and swayed to invisible music, whispering words in a language she didn’t understand. How he rested his forehead against hers, explaining what the touch meant to his people and why he did it so often. When Grogu returned to the house, tugging at her skirts to be picked up and cooing at her with his wide eyes and smile. 
It all felt so far away suddenly. Like a dream that she could not reach anymore. 
No, her arrival in Senex was far from a celebration. 
*****
The days that followed were a blur. The gowns she wore were long sleeved, covering the scar that had been left behind. People –members of the court, members of the Senate, friends of hers –were in and out of the home. They greeted her, they spoke at her but not to her. Congratulations were given, half meaningful and half just because it was expected. If they asked her questions, they didn’t truly want an answer. They just wanted her to nod and smile. She hardly did that, though her mother would prod at her when she didn’t. Sharp nails would dig into her spine, a silent reminder to behave herself. 
A party was planned to celebrate her engagement to Silas, and her mother warned her that he would make his formal declaration at the party at the end of the week.
“You will say yes. And you will pretend that you are happy,” Calisto warned, pointing a dinner knife at her. “Do you understand me?”
“Yes, mother.”
“Good,” Calisto concluded, lifting her drink to her lips now. “I have invited Princess Leia and her husband as well. They have a child –you can play with it; I’m sure that will make you feel better.”
She glanced up at her mother, giving her a wary look before excusing herself from the meal. Calisto did not question this, simply returning to her meal without a word. It. The child was it, not him. Not her. Truly, her mother was a cold, unloving person deep down. She always knew that. But stars above, she never thought she was so heartless.
Isowen tried to speak to her as she moved through the empty halls, but she still couldn’t bring herself to interact. The lady-in-waiting mentioned a dress and her circlet, but couldn't find the latter. 
“It doesn’t belong to me,” she said simply, opening her bedroom door. “It never did.”
“Milady –,”
She shut the door, pressing her forehead against it and closed her eyes. If she tried hard enough, she could picture it was Din’s forehead pressed back, promising it would be okay.
*****
It wasn’t difficult to get through the Senex atmosphere without detection. The Crest was old enough, easily forgotten because it was undetectable. It was getting through the capital city that would be the more challenging part. It was infested with storm troopers, carrying their blasters as if they had any sense on how to use them. But he slipped through without detection, keeping close to the shadows.
Finding the palace wasn’t hard either –it was the largest building in the city, ornate and a bit overdone. It was determining which room was hers that gave him the hardest time. With the scanner within his helmet, he shot himself into the air with his pack, scanning each room until he settled on a room that felt like it would be hers, though it was empty. Landing on the balcony, he broke the latch on the doors and pushed them open, slipping into the room without a word.
It was definitely her room. While dark, it showed clear signs of being lived in with an unmade bed and a stack of books on the nightstand. His steps were careful, light, as he made his way into the room further. He glanced at the bedroom door, scanning through to pick up on the guards that waited outside. When he turned his attention back to her room, his eyes caught a glimpse of an imperfection against the otherwise tidy space.
It was close to her bed, and when he stepped over to it –he could see the stain of blood on her sheets as well.
His breathing turned ragged, trying to control himself. There was no way he could take on every guard in this palace if he stormed out now. But Maker help whoever did this to her –they would not make it out alive. Din needed out of the room; needed away from the space and slipped out the door to the balcony once again.
After a while of peering into her bedroom, light flooded the room momentarily and there she stood, head pressed against the door. Her dress was a dark red, loose on her frame with sleeves that went past her fingertips. From behind, he could see she was trying not to cry.
“I think I preferred the green dress,” he whispered, announcing his presence as he stepped back into the room. She whipped around, back against the door, and stared at him with watery eyes.
“Din,” she breathed, tears falling as she crossed the room in two long strides to throw her arms around his middle. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close to him with his hand on the back of her head. Her entire body shook from the sobs that overcame her. “I’m sorry, I —,”
“Don’t apologize,” he interrupted, pulling back to look at her properly. “The ship is waiting, we can go —,”
“No, I-I can’t.” 
He froze, staring down at her. He didn’t understand –she couldn’t go with him? He had come to save her, he had risked –
But she continued, shaking her head. “I mean, I can’t. I can’t leave the palace, Din.”
She held her out her arm, tugging open the button that held her sleeve. Once it loosened, she slid it carefully over the bandages, trying to keep it from getting caught. His heart pounded in his ears, and he knew now where the blood on her floor and bed came from.
“My mother, she…my first night home —there’s a chip,” she explained, hands trembling now as Din took her arm cautiously in his hands. “If I step foot anywhere she doesn’t seem appropriate, it shocks me and notifies her.”
He unwrapped the bandage, noting it needed to be changed more than anything to avoid infection, and examined the scar that now took up the length of her arm. The skin was healing, luckily, but the bacta spray had not been reapplied, suggesting that whoever did the shoddy job of stitching her up was inexperienced.
“I’m going to kill her,” he whispered. It shouldn’t have been audible, but his modulator picked it up and he felt her tense. 
“Din, you can’t be here –Grogu, Sorgan –,”
“Will be safe,” he promised, looking back at her finally. Her eyes –wide and shimmering with tears still –bore into his and he wanted to steal her away from this forsaken place. But with the chip implanted in her arm, he had to come up with another plan of attack. 
Din guided her to the bed, sitting her down. He kneeled in front of her as he reached for the med kit that sat on her floor, having been left there from when she last changed her bandages. While there was no bacta spray, there were clean wraps and disinfectant cloths, so he settled on simply covering what was there for the time being. She winced as he pulled the old bandages off entirely, setting them to the side. Her good hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing the exposed part of his flight suit as he worked the tender flesh. He wrapped the bandages around her arm again, pulling them tight to protect the wound. 
For a moment, he hesitated. Then slowly, he lifted the bottom of his helmet over his chin and pressed his lips to the bandages. Her hand on his shoulder tightened, surprised by the touch. When he glanced up, her eyes were closed tight —trying to ensure she saw nothing.
“I’m sorry, cyar'ika,” he whispered, lowering his helmet once more before looking up at her through his visor. “Has Credence touched you?”
She shook her head, reaching out to touch the cheek of his helmet. “No, I…I’ve avoided him. But the wedding –,”
“Won’t happen,” Din stated harshly, reaching behind him to pull a sheath from his belt. He held the weapon out to her. When they were on Sorgan, he had considered what it meant to present the blaster to her, if she knew the importance. But the blaster was nothing compared to the dagger that rested in his hands. When he unsheathed it, the plated gold caught the lights of the city and her brow furrowed as she reached for it. It bore the mudhorn signet that he wore on his armor, etched into the blade. 
“Din…,” she whispered, holding the weapon in the palm of her hand cautiously. “Are you…the stories…are they true?”
“Yes.” He nodded once, wrapping his hand around hers to hold the dagger together.
“You’re…you’re asking me to marry you?” Her voice was laced in disbelief, as if she couldn’t understand what was happening.
“Only if you’ll have me,” he murmured, squeezing her hand tight around the dagger. “It’s not an elaborate experience. We exchange vows and that would be it –we can do it now –we’d be married. Then Credence won’t be able –,”
She looked up at him, mouth opening to say something, then she shook her head. “Din…” Then she pulled her hand from his. “I can’t marry you; not like this.”
He thought he stopped breathing. It was like his world had suddenly crashed down around him, and he held the dagger in his hand limply. But she reached forward, both hands resting on the chin of his helmet as she made him look at her.
“Do you love me, Din Djarin?” She asked, searching for any sign of expression behind his visor.
“I do,” he promised, staring up at her. More than anything, he wanted to rip the helmet off so she could see his face. So he could kiss her, and show her how much he truly loved her. “I love you.”
“Then you don’t want to marry me like this,” she concluded, tears in her eyes as she leaned in to press her forehead against his. “You want to marry me when your child can be here to become our child. When your hand is not being forced by my mother, but by your heart.”
“I –,”
“Din, please,” she begged, closing her eyes as the tears finally fell over her cheeks. “I want to marry you. But I want to marry you on my own terms, not anyone else’s.”
He stared at her for a long time before he removed his gloves, tossing them to the side, so he could wipe her tears away. His other hand lifted the dagger once more, wrapping their hands around the hilt once again. 
“Then we won’t get married today,” he whispered, squeezing her hand tight around the handle of the blade. “But this dagger is yours; made from a piece of your life into a piece of mine. If you accept it, then you’re accepting that I will marry you the moment I can.”
“Of course I accept it, Din.”
———
Taglist (CLOSED): @r4iner @sgt-morgan @mingeniee @darling1darling @teriolan-blog @venusfalling @double—take @sunshine96 @demisexuallover @mxtokko @ellesvoid @waddafaknik @c-ms1ut @kokoirne @sl-ut @munsons-queen @intense-sneezing @geekrenaissance @dancealongthelightofday @tizylish @ruleroftides @aheadfullofsteverogers
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raainberry · 5 months
Text
Moonflower - III
« In literature, the moonflower has been used as a symbol of love, mystery, and enchantment. »
Sana x gn!reader
Okay maybe it’s angst this time
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synopsis - your job is still flowers. she's still not sure how she got into this mess. but maybe you could get her out of it.
- part I - part II -
wordcount - 3.4K
TW - like three (3) of the same soft cuss word
A/N - here is my first piece of work that made me cry out of frustration (we will be blaming emo hours). now if you saw my breakdown live on the tl two days ago, no you didn’t. and if you saw my update yesterday saying this very thing would be up later that day, no you didn’t either. i fell asleep, your girl was running on three hours of sleep (wonder why🥰) it happens to the best of us SORRY. hope you enjoy it though! im actually not too mad at how it turned out🤭
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“How would your wedding look like?” She asked, taking a sip of her water bottle.
You chuckled softly at the question, wondering what had prompted it apart from the obvious.
“I haven’t thought about that.” You answered truthfully.
“Not even once?”
“No.”
“You’re lying.” She said, convinced of her own words.
“Am I?”
“You’ve helped hundreds of people with their own.” She pointed out. “It’s impossible not to think of what yours would look like.”
“I help them choose flowers. I’m not organizing their entire reception.” You argued.
“Then you probably thought about that much.”
You turned to her.
She was right, but you weren’t lying either.
Flowers were the only thing you’d envisioned so far.
“So which is it gonna be?” She insisted.
“Moonflowers.” You answered, making her chuckle.
“I could have guessed that.”
“Yet you haven’t.”
You fully expected the way she rolled her eyes at you before looking away to focus on the dark horizon.
A small, comfortable silence settled between the two of you. One of many throughout this spontaneous outing, and with each one, you seemed to appreciate them a little more.
Because they never seem to last with her.
“I’ll get the moonflowers.” She blurted out, cutting the moment short yet again.
“What?”
“For the wedding.” She said, almost shrugging as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Given the context, it was, but still… You stayed silent, thinking back to the very reason you were even sitting beside her at the moment.
The two of you were parked at the top of some small hill overlooking part of the town, laying against the windshield of your car and sitting on top of the hood.
All your problems seemed so small up there, barely even deserving of a thought. The afternoon you just spent together did wonders for your souls.
She had asked you to drive around before going back home. That somehow lead you to hours of wasting gas and money at random shops, most of which you’d never even heard of.
The more you followed her around, the more it all felt like a getaway. Not in the idyllic sense, rather in the literal one. You could tell she was avoiding her apartment. Obviously you had an idea as to why, and maybe that’s what pushed you to give in to every single one of her requests.
It was nice doing things she wanted.
Sana eventually realised that was the true reason why she delayed returning to her apartment over and over. She couldn’t care less about the man living there with her, nor about whether or not he was actually waiting for her there.
She just didn’t want it to stop. The feeling of mattering. Of being considered. Being seen. Heard.
Her smile slowly returned as hours went by, justifying everything you’d done for her in so little time. It gave you purpose, proving you weren’t losing your mind in vain.
Because boy did she drive you insane.
Was she really still going through with it all?
“Why don’t you choose your own?” You asked her, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts.
At the end of the day, it was none of your business. It wasn’t your decision to make.
“Possessive much?” She teased, and you straightened yourself up. The top of this hood suddenly felt uncomfortable.
“Not necessarily. But the only way you’re getting moonflowers at your wedding is by marrying me.”
That’s what you heard yourself say just seconds later.
You’d mumbled it to yourself, letting your old flirting skills and days get the best of you for some reason. You looked at her, hoping she hadn’t heard or at least not enough to get it.
A second passed. Then two. Three.
The lack of questioning was alarming, and in good reason.
You had managed to make her speechless. Unwillingly, yes, but it only made it that much more unbelievable.
Even thinking she couldn’t do, as if her mind had short-circuited at the thought of marrying someone else than the man she’d been conditioned to.
“It was a joke.” You finally spoke up, hoping to break her out of her trance.
It was the truth. It might have been borderline flirting, but the main goal was humor. You were technically joking.
But still. All she did was blink.
Maybe she needed help at finding words, that’s why her lips suddenly fell on yours, right? To steal them from you?
You mentally chuckled at your ridiculous thought process, ashamed of it as if it had been heard by the whole world. Good thing it faded out with each one of her kisses.
She was efficient, you’ll give her that. However what stuck with you was how soft, how delicate her lips were against yours. It debilitated all cognitive functions of your brain. The power was out for at least three seconds at one point. You couldn’t think straight, kissing her back as if you were supposed to.
As if she were yours to begin with.
It’s unclear how long it took for you to gain enough sense back, all you knew was that feeling her bite down on your bottom lip did the trick.
The faint pain as she tugged on it ever so softly snapped you back to reality, warning you about what would come if you didn’t pull away in the next second.
You felt your heart race as it all sunk in.
The one thing you had told yourself not to fall into earlier that day… A trap that seemed so obvious it managed to fool you. You practically jumped into it.
As much as you danced around it, you knew what you were here for. What you’d agreed to. What she wanted you for.
You knew you were just a pawn in her vendetta from the start. She’d made it very clear. So why did the whole idea just dawn on you now?
Maybe you’d turned a blind eye for as long as you could, you couldn’t say to save your life. All you knew was that you didn’t like it one bit.
So when she went for another kiss, leaning in to capture your swollen bottom lip, you made sure she never reached it.
That earned you a confused look from her, as if it were the first time her kiss was denied. The sight would have been amusing, if only you didn’t feel so torn yourself…
Your gaze reflected that to Sana, and she had a hard time figuring out what exactly was it that was so wrong.
Though she could at least tell you were tormented, it was only confirmed when you jumped off the hood.
She watched as you started to walk away from the car and further into the darkness surrounding you.
Where the hell were you going? You were basically in the middle of nowhere.
“Y/N!”
The sound of the rocks and dirt beneath your shoes faded out as you came to a halt, feeling her eyes burning into your back.
“Where are you going?”
You turned around, seeing she had stepped off the hood too, and taken a few steps towards you.
“I’m going home.” You told her, tearing your eyes off her as you started walking away again.
“So you’re leaving me alone in some hilltop at night in the middle of nowhere?”
No, you weren’t.
You made sure to brush right past her on your way back, though, heading straight into the driver’s seat.
Slamming the door behind you, you let out a heavy sigh you were sure she’d heard from outside. It took longer than you’d have liked for her to join you, only sitting in the passenger seat after making sure you’d calmed down.
Not a word from her. Not a sound from you. Only your clothes rubbing together as your leg showed itself to be restless.
You refused to look at her. She didn’t like the attitude, but a part of her could understand. So she didn’t say anything, and stared out her own window in silence.
As minutes went by, your anger and frustration slowly get overcome by a familiar sensation.
Greed. You wanted to know.
Nothing about this woman concerned you. Yet you wanted to know more. You needed to.
The feeling appeared as soon as she’d spoken up at the flower shop, and now it managed to appear without a single word from her.
It was only days ago. The speed of it all was frightening.
Yet you couldn’t help how curious the still silhouette in the corner of your eye made you. What was she thinking about now?
The wedding? Her fiancé? Herself? You?
Turning to look at her, you watched her through a calmer mind as your questions grew in number despite yourself.
“What’s on your mind?” You finally spoke up.
Your voice was louder than you remembered. It startled her, but she hid it well before meeting your gaze.
“Nothing you’d care about.”
You frowned internally. The same feeling as back in the flower shop again. You felt it back when she sat down beside you on the hood earlier too.
She was close. She was pretty. So pretty.
You suddenly felt jealous, and that pretty much signed off on the insanity of this situation you’d somehow put yourself in. Or maybe she’d dragged you in it, who cares, it wasn’t important anymore.
“Don’t get married.”
You whispered this time, but the words were still loud.
Sana closed her eyes, and the silence that followed was loud enough to stress about it. Your words had slipped out again, but this time you found nothing to cover them up with.
Partly because you didn’t even want to cover them up.
Her eyes opened again, allowing the cheap lighting outside to reflect on those beautiful brown eyes. You were in awe at that point. Tired, but still able to appreciate such a pretty sight.
“You’re so unfair.”
You snapped out of your trance at the sound of your own thoughts echoing through her lips.
“What?”
“You know why I brought you here, right?”
Her gaze fixated far ahead while you could only focus on hers. You weren’t trying to make her look at you, though. You were only trying to see what she was seeing.
“Answer me.” She ordered, attempting to conceal the weakness in her voice.
“I do.” You admitted.
“Then help me.” She pleaded. “I can’t do it alone.”
“I’m trying to.” You assured her. “Ever since you stepped into the shop, that’s all I’ve done.”
“Then why did you pull away?”
You sighed once more, finding interest out the windshield as well. Your lips parted without sound for a second, debating on whether or not you should let these words slip out too…
“I don’t want to be your scapegoat.”
Sana swallowed the knot in her throat. The truth was a little hard, but it remained. You were right.
She didn’t plan on kissing you earlier. That alone could have proven your worries to be wrong. However, everything she managed to think about as soon as her lips touched yours… It all gave you more than one reason to worry.
Giving in to desire was weak on her part. Part of her regretted it. It threw away all her hopes of ever pulling the spectacular revenge she dreamed about.
So she had to think of a backup plan.
What she managed to come up with was simple, deprived of any details she would normally be able to think of. Infatuation only allowed her to think of the big picture, while she focused on satisfying her desire.
By that point, she did plan on sleeping with you. She did plan on letting her fiancé find out. And after that, she did plan on throwing you under the bus if things ever got too much to handle.
Now that her mind was given time to properly think, she realised something very upsetting.
This so called backup plan was none other than her inital one. One she’d made up in the lowest point of her life, all out of hope and lost in purpose.
She was back at square one.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered, making you look back at her.
Her eyes were closed, and you found out it was a weak attempt at stopping the tears from rolling down her cheeks.
The sight of them surprisingly left you indifferent. You stared at her in silence for a few long seconds, unsure of what to do, or say.
You were hesitant, but you were far from heartless.
Your index finger ended up reaching for her jaw, catching the salted droplet before it stained the fabric of her pants below. The one on the other side of her face might have, but that wasn’t something to worry about for either of you.
Sana’s mind was stuck on your finger lingering on her sharpest bone. The feeling of your skin against hers, of a touch as innocent as this one… It was conflicting.
She opened her eyes, catching yours by surprise. She expected you to, but you didn’t look away this time. That allowed her to notice the color of your eyes for the first time.
She couldn’t tell you why she got stuck on such a detail, and to be honest, she didn’t feel the need to find a reason.
She could, so she did. Something else she hadn’t been able to do in a long while.
And it felt good.
“Y/N…”
Your jaw clenched at the sound. Your name sounded so pretty enlaced in that sweet voice of hers…
You felt your breath catch in your throat as you anticipated her next words. The flutter in your chest made itself known again as the adrenaline left little room for shock when she’d eventually say them.
“Do you still want to sabotage a wedding?”
A heavy sigh freed the breath that had caught in your throat.
It dawned on you yet again. Hearing those words for a second time… You were going in circles. This really was nothing but a trap.
You didn’t know if she’d done it on purpose, if she lured you in or if she was just as stuck as you were—Hell, you didn’t even care.
You just needed to get out while you could.
So your hand found the key in the ignition, and it took no time for you to start the car up.
The sound of the engine revving as you prepared to leave triggered something in the woman sitting next to you. Something that made her heart race as she began mumbling something.
It seemed as though she was repeating something under her breath, her gaze out in the dark around you and absent like she’d retreated within her own mind.
Her words were loud enough for you to notice she was saying something, but not enough to understand it.
You froze at the scene, unsure if you should hear her out, reassure her or step on the gas. It was obvious what you should do, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to.
So she made you do it herself.
“I don’t want to go back!” She yelled over the engine, and grabbed onto your arm.
You let go of the key, her fingers tightening around your forearm as her eyes looked for yours.
“I don’t want to go back.” She repeated, her voice barely a whisper.
Your eyebrows furrowed, something you could only feel as your body reacted to her once more. You didn’t know what hurt more; seeing the tears pool in her eyes as she struggled to hold them back or her nails digging though the fabric and into your skin.
“Please...”
You couldn’t answer as something on her hand distracted you from the pain. Something shiny. A glimmer on her ring finger—most likely diamonds. Might as well have been rocks; it held no value in that so called promise between her and that man. At the least it didn’t for one of them.
You looked back at the bearer, your jaw tense as you thought. Your mind flashed back to mere moments ago. Why was she still wearing it? She had no right to. Not after leaving such betrayal on your lips.
“Then take it off.” You spoke up, your voice hoarse as if you’d been yelling for liberation.
Her mind was shaken, desperate to see through eyes that looked so unfamiliar now.
Your gaze was stern. It all looked blurry, as if you’d built a wall in front of what she had access to just moments ago…
“What?”
“The ring, Sana. Take it off.”
She barely glanced down at her own hand before looking back at you. The chuckle tasted bitter on your tongue.
“You can’t even face it.”
“That’s all I’ve been telling you.” She let out a defeated sob. “Why don’t you just do it for me?”
You looked back down at her hand, and her gaze followed yours to land there as well. She hated the sight of it. It felt as though it had been there forever.
All she dreamed about was taking it off.
All you had to do was take it off.
So you did, and finally slipped the ring off her finger, holding it between two of your own.
She mindlessly watched as your thumb and index rolled it around to observe it above the steering wheel. All that pain. All that torment. All because of a single, shiny metal ring.
“Doesn’t it feel lighter?” You spoke in an attempt to pull her out of her own mind. The last thing she needed was to get lost in it.
“I…” She trailed off, looking down at her hand, and finally seeing her finger naked in what felt like a lifetime. “It does.”
You trapped the jewel inside your fist, sighing as you leaned back against the back of your seat.
“What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well…” Your hand found the commands of the automatic windows, pushing the button to roll yours down. “Whatever you do, you take care of yourself.”
Most people would have asked what the hell you were doing. If that ring didn’t hold any sentimental value, financially, it still held its own.
Not Sana, though. She didn’t seem phased by your action as she watched it land who knows where.
“Wait…” She trailed off, rewinding your words. “Are you not going to stick around?”
“I did all I could, Sana.” You started, your eyes focused out the open window as a breeze helped to dry off the tears before they even formed. “I kept my word and helped you. I took it off. But you’re gonna need to face him yourself.”
“But I can’t do it alone—“
“You have to.” You snapped, turning back to look at her. You ignored her lips parted in surprise, and continued. “If what I’ve learned about you in this short time is true, it’s the only way you’ll ever be free.”
“What have you learned?”
“Nothing.” You scoffed. “That’s why you have to do it. You’re the only one who actually knows how to deal with this. I can be by your side all you want, but I’ll never be any help. No one ever will.”
Your rant caused a small sob to escape her lips, and she ignored your surprise when she reached for your hand. You could only let her again, allowing yourself to relish in her touch and find pleasure in your body’s reactions to it.
You looked down at your joined hands, watching her intertwine them. You found yourself responding to her touch, your fingers closing around hers.
“Then at least stay.”
You softly caressed the top of her thumb, giving yourself some time to actually think before agreeing this time.
“On one condition.” You said, finding her eyes.
“What is it?”
You glanced down at your tangled hands.
It was an insane thing to look at. To feel. It didn’t make any sense. You’d only met her three days ago. You’d only spent an afternoon, part of an evening with her.
Yet so much happened. So much was felt.
You blinked, and her hand was still in yours. It felt good. But it lacked warmth.
It was telling.
At that moment in time, deep down, you knew this wouldn’t last.
Maybe you’ll part ways right after she’d break the engagement off. Maybe you’ll date and break up once you realise it was all comfort and reassurance disguising as love and affection. Maybe she won’t even break the engagement off.
Whatever the reason, you knew you wouldn’t see her at your wedding.
So you had to make one last thing clear.
“I keep the moonflowers.”
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wilderness-king · 19 days
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My thoughts on Madame Web
I’m still confused why people hate Madame Web? I’ve seen the film 4! times, and love it eveytime. And that’s coming from someone who’s normally very critical of superhero movies. I know this film has some flaws. Some plot points don’t make sense and the script can be a little “odd” at times. But none of that ruins this film for me. But honestly that’s what makes it more fun! It’s not horrendous!
Also it’s a superhero movie! Why would you go into it expecting a masterpiece?! Every superhero film is like that in my opinion. None of them are perfect or Oscar winning films. Why would you think Madame Web was going to be different? Of course it was gonna be goofy and wild! It’s a superhero film!
Also, WOMEN! I am bias because I am a lesbian and adore anything with a woman in the centre role, But the other reason I love this film is because it is so female focused. Men play a backseat in this movie. Oh sure the main villain is a man, but who cares about him?!! He’s literally the bad guy trying to kill innocent teenage girls. Like I don’t care about you! Glad he died. The film focuses on motherhood too. Which is another reason I enjoy this film. Just seeing Cassie bond with the girls and learn to care for them, is honestly the sweetest thing. Probably the thing I enjoy most about the film! I love seeing her slowly learn to love and protect those girls. I think that’s very special.
Like most films I watch, there’s always parts that I find boring. I found most scenes with the villain to be boring. He was a man so I don’t care. The only issue I had with the film was Cassie’s trip to Peru. It was very short and definitely could have been fleshed out more. It’s the only real issue I have with the film. It was a bit jarring that she was gone “a week” but really just felt like a day. I do wish it had been stretched out a bit longer and actually shied her learning her powers and learning more about what she can do and how she can use them.
I honesty loved some of the plot holes. My other absolute favourite part of this movie was The Taxi. He’s my favourite character! The fact that she could leave the taxi at the airport and then get it back again and drive it home was hilarious! Like that’s so goofy! I love it! I think it adds to the charm of the film! Most superhero films have plot points like that. I adore that taxi and I like to think she still has that taxi in a garage somewhere.
That opening scene was a little goofy in terms of the script. I honestly thought I was watching a movie within a movie. It was a little “odd”. I have no other words to describe it. I Guessssss I can see why that would turn people off the film…. And also the whole “power and responsibility” lines were pretty eye rolling.
It also breaks my heart to know that Dakota hated working on this film. I guess it is pretty different I what she has normally done in the past. And also it’s never fun to see your film get panned by audiences and critics. But I absolutely adore this film and I wish she could see that. It means we most likely will never get a sequel, which fine….. but I would have liked to see how the girls actually got these powers in the first place. We know they do, but I would love a second movie to explore how and why they get powers. Also I really just want to see the girls bonding as a family.
Is it not enough that I just want to enjoy a silly little film? It’s not perfect but it fun. It’s a silly film that is just a blast to watch. Why does it have to be perfect? Why can’t it just he silly? I love watching this movie and I will watch it again and again.
But also, I don’t want to know why you hated this film, because I will absolutely cry. This is my special film and I don’t want anyone else opinion to ruin it for me. I will have a meltdown. I already have.
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your-garden-rose · 2 years
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SELFISH
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Note: Hey yall, I’m so glad you all liked the first part of it!!!! I’m sorry this took so long as I was stuck on developing the plot :’D I hope y’all like this part <33
TW: Minor cusses, minor verbal abuse, mentions of Whipping, if I left something let me know please <33
Taglist: @crystal-yukio , @ruler-of-hades , @onigirinchanowo , @ellie3467 , @k1ngan0n
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Ch 2 : What a pathetic waste of space
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You clutched your cheeks in pain, the sound of the slap still ringing in your ears as you sat in the party that day. You merely held back the tears forming in your eyes as you tried to distract yourself, you drunk more and more and continued to get wasted throughout the night to get your mind off of it. You focused on your friends and it helped, for a while, that is. It was then you got a notification from your DDD. You opened it to find a text from Lucifer and the prince.
[LUCI]: Don’t bother coming home brat, Cecilia is crying, she’s going to spending the rest of her year in your room. I really don’t care where you will be staying at.
[PRINCE]: I heard what happened to Cecilia today, I’m really conflicted here between both you and Cecilia Mc. Do better.
You immediately slammed the DDD in anger as you dangled it from a balcony. It was then a succubus joined you as you grabbed a bottle from her. “Heard about what happened today.” “Mmhm.” You nodded. “Does it still hurt?” “The slap?” “Not as bad as it did earlier. The mark is still there though.” The succubus inspected it and placed a cooling spell on it. “Those guys really are assholes. Aren’t they?” “I thought you all liked them?” “Nah. I dated one of em for a while, they really think they are all that.” “Damn.” “I liked you better you know” she stated, you turned to her, surprised. “Didn’t you act rude towards me Lamia?” “Yea but that was before you know. You’re so much cooler now, fuck them. You know, most of RAD likes you. Like literally wants to date you.” “I knew that.” You chuckled and drunk more. “Say, you gonna go back to the HoL after this?” “Fuck no. I’m never stepping foot in that place.” “Where will you be staying then?” “I was gonna as you if I could stay over” “sure Mc, I’d love to have you over as a housemate.” “Thanks Lamia” she smiled brushing a stray hair off your face. “Mc?” “Yeah?” “What about revenge?” “Oh I know exactly how to get revenge on those beings.” “And what’s that?” “It’s easy. No one likes them that much, people are only leeching off their popularity. In short. They are NOTHING when you strip off their popularity you know. And that’s where I come into play.” “What exactly will you do?” “Lamia? You are an editor right along side Mephistopheles, right?” “Yea?” “Circulate this to everyone, except the demons and the angels and that sorcerer.” You stated as you handed her some mildly controversial photos. “Spread this as much as you can, but this should not fall into the hands of those bastards. Am I clear?” She nodded as she went through the material carefully. “I’ll make sure Mc.” “Thanks.” You smiled. Lamia was one “friend” who you were sure of that she would be of use to you due to her influence and wealth and status. “I’ll be giving you material over the days. They will slowly go from mild to extremely controversial gossips and rumours and sometimes even video footages.” “I understand Mc.” “Good.” It was then someone called you both to play a game of spin the bottle which led to you both being paired up in almost all games. It was, during, truth or dare, however, that she confessed to you which led to a sweet kiss between you both. The night ended with you both stumbling to a near by room and spending the night together. However, it was the next day that was actually enjoyable.
You purposely went late to RAD, so you could see the starting humiliation those bastards would face. You calmly walked to class and didn’t bother greeting the prince as you used to, leaving him stunned yet a little bit angry at your behaviour. Not even Lucifer’s angry glare could stop you from walking calmly to class. You went in and the professor excused you in the class immediately much to Satan’s and Cecilia’s surprise. “Professor?” Spoke Cecilia which erupted some “ugh” and groans around the class. “What do you need?” “Why are they here?” “They attend this class?” “But they are late! Shouldn’t they be whipped or something?” She asked, as the mood in the class darkened as Cecilia shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unsure of what she had just started. It was then the professor, while glaring along with the others, spoke up“Cecilia, mind your business. It will be good for your own safety around here.” Warned the professor due to which she immediately piped down and looked like she was about to cry at any given moment. You only smirked as you made your way up to your seat. The rest of the class, you noticed as the students now snickered at Satan. All you heard was “did you see that?” “What a loser really.” And “didn’t expect from Satan himself you know” you immediately smiled as you noticed Satan shift uncomfortably in his seat as he balled his fists to prevent another outburst. Cecilia was not any better either. The rumours surrounding her was way more vicious. You heard as everyone called her a “slut”, a “cheap whore”, and whatnot. It was then the bell rang and you immediately ran and joined hands with Lamia who was equally excited as she too returned your enthusiasm. “Mc! You’ll never guess how the entirety of RAD reacted!!!” “How?” “Everyone is talking about those pictures you know? Mephistopheles was happy considering he finally had something against Lucifer after a long long time. He really owes you one!” She smiled as she explained. “Also, I kinda missed you a lot you know…” “I did too. Let’s go home and cuddle shall we? You have worked hard for me after all.” “Okay!” She skipped and walked off. It was then you passed by Lucifer, who seemed on edge too, seems like the rumours were affecting him too. You let go of Lamia’s hand and grabbed his tie and forced him to kneel. His angry expression was fun to see. You then leaned closer and whispered in his ear
“What a pathetic waste of space…”
You whispered and left, as you noticed Lucifer widen his eyes in anger, you did note that there was some noticeable sadness in his eyes, you only smirked as you dropped his tie and walked away with Lamia while laughing and thinking about your next scheme. Their days were only about to get a lot lot worse after this. They had no idea the things you had in store for them and you smiled, excited about the days to come. Seems like this was going to be one hell of a year you won’t ever regret
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vamossainz55 · 1 year
Note
heyy! can you do carlos x reader where reader is sad bcs it’s her father death anniversary with “it’s okay to cry.” prompt, thank you 🥰
"If we can laugh, fine. And if we’ve got to cry, we’ve got to cry.” – Charles Bukowski
or where reader struggles with her grief, and carlos is only there to support. tw: mentions of death & grief
a/n first drabble for the party, scrolled past it and couldnt help but to put first, thanks for requesting anon
want to request a drabble? check gudelines here
It hits you the moment you get home and shut the door, all air suddenly leaving your lungs. You’re exhausted, feet heavy as you walk into your entryway, dropping your keys into the small little bowl on the table. How you managed to get through the day was beyond you, but you were glad to be home now, already wanting to curl into bed and sleep. 
The thing is, you had felt it this morning too, but despite the missing piece in your chest the world still somehow continues to turn, you’d almost call it cruel. So despite every little fiber in your body screaming at you not to, you had still got out of bed this morning, convincing your boyfriend that it was fine. 
It’s been three years Carlos, it’s okay. Now let me go to work.  
And it was fine, it was fine when you got to the office, it was fine when you were doing your meetings, and it was fine when you were pitching new ideas to some clients, and even when you were on your way back home. 
You don’t know why the feeling is coming back now, so consuming that you feel like you can barely breathe. You don’t even notice your boyfriend coming into the entryway, with a wooden spoon in hand and a kiss the chef apron on, which would usually make you laugh. 
“Mi amor, ¿estás bien?” The question catches your attention and you let out a deep breath. Your hand reaches over to his arm, coming close to kiss his cheek. 
“Si, todo bien, solo estoy muy cansada,” You explain just as his hand goes to squeeze his waist, you. He wants to ask you again, eyes worriedly looking over yours but you quiet him with a forced and small smile. 
“Can I help you cook?” It’s a weird request, both of you knowing that you liked to stay as far from the kitchen as possible. Too many burnt pancakes and uncooked chicken more often than not ending in the bin, but he knows that you need this, need a distraction.
It's fine at first, you help with boiling the water, and with grabbing the pans, but against Carlos’ requests you’re at the cutting board, grabbing the knife and some garlic. You last four cloves before the knife slips, catching your finger slightly in the process. 
“I’ve got you,” Carlos murmurs, as he grabs a bandaid, letting you run your hand under cold water. It’s quiet as he watches you, quietly taking your hand to help. It’s a few beats later that he finally says it. 
“Babe, you should sit down and let me cook okay?” The words somehow make your skin crawl and you shake your head, moving your hand away from his as soon as he’s done. 
“It’s fine Carlos,” You say, already going to grab for the knife but Carlos grabs your wrist instead. 
“You never want to cook and you literally just cut yourself, please let this go.” Carlos says and this time it sounds less like a suggestion and more like a plea. 
“I don’t want to sit down Carlos, can I do something else?” 
“No,” 
“Carlos,”
“Sit down, please,” His hands are gentle on your wrists, soon urging you to sit at the bar’s stool. He takes a deep breath before kissing your knuckles. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I am, I’m-”
“No, don’t say you’re fine when I know you’re not.” 
The question shuts you up and your eyes quickly divert from his. Carlos sighs, soon giving your hands a squeeze. 
“It’s okay if you’re upset.” Carlos murmurs and you shake your head, feeling an uncomfortable knot form in your stomach. “And it’s okay if you still miss him, it just shows how much of an amazing person he was.” The knot’s somehow in your throat just as tears begin to slowly pool into your eyes. It hurts so much that you can barely breathe. 
“I just-” Your voice cracks, and you feel a burn from the tear that rolls down your cheek. “I just want to talk to him.” You say and Carlos simply nods, pulling you close to his chest. 
“Shh, shh,” He rubs over your back as you cry into his chest, shirt wet and stained. He doesn’t care though, not a single bit. “It’s okay to cry.” He murmurs, kissing your head. “Let it out, I’ve got you.”
You cry as much as you need to, wrapped in Carlos’ arms for what feels like hours. The pasta is overcooked, so you order take out, curling up on the couch eating sushi before eating ice cream. If you cry again before bed, Carlos doesn’t seem to mind, simply wrapping himself around you once more. 
It’s not pretty, it never is, the third year hurts just as much as the first, but one thing always helped: you knew you wouldn’t ever be alone.
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heykoonsy · 2 months
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Word Count: 4k+
Pairing: Husk x Angel Dust (HuskerDust/AngelHusk), some Angel Dust x OC sprinkled in for flavor
Summary: “Give him everything but your ass.” Angel Dust was tasked with one job: convince the investor to subsidize Valentino’s agency. Angel was more of a closer to Valentino, enticing the wealthier of his associates into funding projects for him. However, this latest pitch didn’t go as planned and Angel’s hubris prevented him from seeing the potential drawbacks of a one night stand with someone Valentino marked. In this slow burn love story, Angel must confront the worst parts of himself if he is going to win back his career.
Content Warnings: Rated 18+ for foul language & threatening dialogue
Author's Note: The HuskerDust content from the new series is giving me life. I am literally eviscerated every time I see them.
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Angel lay on the bed of the set, his lingerie ripped to pieces and his stiletto heels draped off the side of the duvet. He was sitting up on his elbows, his eyes scanning the rest of the studio. He saw a mound of editors, techs and stage hands all huddled around the editing bay with Vercelli in the center. They’d been trying to fix something for the last ten minutes and every minute that passed pushed Angel closer and closer to walking off set. This shoot seemed doomed from the start. 
He’d been working with Vercelli for the last few days now on his latest script–”his masterpiece”–everyone was calling it. Personally, Angel didn’t see anything to go crazy over, but his opinion didn’t really matter with these sorts of things. Valentino decided from the moment he read it that Angel would be playing the lead. And what Val wants, he gets. It made sense, as Angel had just finished up his last scene for the picture Guerrero was putting together. While his team edited down what footage they were able to capture, Angel took a few nights off.
Vercelli spent the last few weeks editing the script and working out quirks with the staging, desperate to make this his most ambitious film yet. After Angel was handed a finalized script, he sat on the sidelines as his team rushed to design the sets. Everything was moving rather slowly–which Angel blamed on Vercelli’s poor management style. Granted, he wasn’t as aggressive with his team as Guerrero–and not as motivated as Brut. He was somewhere in the middle regarding talent. He was far from the worst, but a far cry from the best in the business. However, to some, he was doing groundbreaking work.
Angel looked to his right, where he could feel eyes lingering on him. He’d felt them every day that he’d been on set. He’d felt them when he was running lines with his co-star. Even when he was walking past everyone to get to his dressing room. Angel knew better than to make direct eye contact with the gaze’s owner. That would just lead to another conversation he didn’t want to have. Instead, Angel acted like he was stretching his neck waiting for Vercelli to resume his stage directions. 
Angel was kept waiting, and the eyes on him persisted. 
“Xy,” Angel called out.
“Yes, Angel?” Xy prompted, her head poking out from the crowd around Vercelli. She appeared in front of him in a matter of seconds. 
“Is this gonna take any longer?” Angel asked as politely as he could. 
Xy looked over at the group crowded around the editing bay. She shook her head. “I’m not sure. Could I get you some water?”
Angel shook his head. “No, that’s alright.”
“I’ll ask him if you can leave set at least. The A/C is really cranked today.” Xy reassured him with a small touch on his shoulder and went running back to the group. 
Angel sighed, understanding that as good as Xy was at her job, there was no way she would be able to pry their attention away. Which meant that he was stuck here. 
It would be different if he weren’t so exposed. Strange sentiment coming from the mind of a porn-star, who’s whole job supported and appreciated nudity. But it was exactly how he felt–exposed. He wasn’t in the middle of a sex scene, he wasn’t posing nude for a couple of good stills. He was just lying there on a bed, his torn tights revealing a large bit of his ass. He didn’t have a shirt on, the black girdle he wore covering most of his midsection and leaving the fluff of his chest bare. He’d long since ditched his panties–which he’d tossed to someone in Wardrobe off set. 
Which just left him and the all-encompassing stares of his watcher from the right. 
“Okay, fixed. Angel, you hanging in there?” Vercelli asked, peeking up at Angel from the editing bay. 
Angel Dust snapped to attention. “Yupp, all good here,” Angel lied, a wide smile sliding across his face as he raised his leg in a pointe. 
Vercelli clapped his hands together, signifying that they were resuming the scene. “Okay, to recap, you’ve just torn up your own tights, you’re preparing yourself for–
“Light four is down again, sir.”
Vercelli dropped his script on the floor and it made a loud smack as it collided with the linoleum. “This fucking light,” he said under his breath. 
“Sir, may I escort Angel back to his room?” Xy asked, a cold sweat forming on her brow. 
Vercelli paused a moment and looked at Angel. “Fine, fine. Take a break Angel, we’ll call for you.” He closed his eyes to collect himself. “Beck!” He shouted. 
Beck came out of nowhere to answer his call. “Yes, sir?”
“Get me Valentino. This is ridiculous. My greatest work yet and this fucking light–
“Light two is down.”
Before Vercelli had a chance to slide everything off the editing desk, Xy whisked Angel away to his dressing room. Angel wasted no time at all saying his goodbyes to her at the door and slamming it shut. He was desperate to have something separating himself and those eyes he felt were glued to every inch of his exposed flesh. He locked the door, peace filling his mind once he realized that he had true protection now. 
Until he heard a soft knock on his door. 
Fuck.
“Who is it?” Angel cooed, his voice raising slightly to come off as flirty in case it wasn’t who he thought it was.
“Angel Dust,” Tezan sang the syllables of his name. “You gonna let me in?”
Angel felt a shiver run down his spine. No. “Sure, suga, just let me get decent,” he cooed. 
Tezan made a noise in the back of his throat outside the door. “No need, sweetheart.”
Angel Dust threw on his longest, fuzziest pink robe and went to the door. He took a second to prepare himself. A deep inhale, a wide smile, happy eyes. He wasn’t creeped out. He wasn’t creeped out. Angel unlocked the door silently and swung it open. He put a hand on his hip and gestured for Tezan to come inside. 
“How did you like the shoot?” Angel asked. “Despite all the technical difficulties,” he added quietly.
“I can’t say I’ve ever been on a real set before,” Tezan said, waltzing past Angel. “It was very,” he paused behind Angel, looking over his shoulder and down at what little of his chest remained uncovered, “illuminating.”
Angel did his best not to cringe. He left the door of his dressing room wide open, instead choosing to cross the room and move towards one of the dressers that held a small collection of spirits. Angel selected a wine bottle from the front–a congratulatory bottle from Val for completing Geurrero’s film. He raised it, showing it off to Tezan. 
“Some wine while we wait?” 
Tezan sat on the chair beside Angel’s vanity. “Sure,” he said. 
Angel poured two glasses quickly and handed one off to Tezan. “Here ya go.”
Tezan nodded in acknowledgement. “Vercelli wasn’t kidding, this really is some of his best work.”
Angel nodded. “How long have you been following his career? I haven’t starred in much of his films–but Valentino insisted that I give this role some of the ol’ Angel flare.”
Tezan took a sip of his wine. “I agree,” he said. “There’s just something about you in ripped tights.”
Angel Dust smiled reflexively. “You a fan of these legs’a mine?”
Tezan didn’t answer, instead choosing to meet Angel’s eyes. There was a certain heat in them that Angel recognized. They weren’t the eyes of a regular onlooker–plenty of investors had come to see Angel work and he’d had no trouble. Even his most die-hard fans knew when talent was traveling–but Tezan was different. He wasn’t just an investor, he was a consumer. And everything in his gaze told Angel Dust that he was prey.
From the way his eyes followed him around the room, to the way he lingered around the corners of the set. Always close–but never arising suspicion. In fact, this moment in Angel’s dressing room was the first time Tezan had done this. And of course no one outside was any the wiser. Tezan merely looked like someone Angel Dust had a long standing relationship with. 
“When is your next film coming out?” 
Angel took a moment to think about it. “Guerrero launches it a week from today. I did all the promos for it before Val signed me on with Vercelli.”
Tezan nodded. “You’re havin’ no trouble pickin’ up work since Val ditched that wannabe.”
Angel pressed the wine glass to his lips, getting a sample of the yellow liquid before pulling it away. He swirled the wine in his cup for a moment, eyes going half-lidded. “Oh honey, I neva have trouble pickin’ up work,” Angel leaned against the dresser behind him and crossed his legs at the ankle. 
“That would have changed if Val had kept Brut on the payroll. Beck told me he was signing some lackluster talent.”
“Tread lightly,” Angel warned, playing off his obvious anger with manufactured pride, “he signed me afterall.”
Tezan took a pull on his glass, “That he did.”
Angel raised his eyebrows and slowly sipped his glass of wine. He swallowed quickly. Huh, he thought, bitter for a Moscato.
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Angel Dust was on his way out of the studio when he stopped abruptly in the lobby. He looked through the glass doors–his eyes catching the shadowed silhouette of Tezan outside having a smoke. Angel could only guess why he was waiting outside so he turned around to head back to the elevator. 
The doors opened swiftly and he pressed the button for the top floor–Valentino’s floor. He waited patiently in the elevator, listening to the soft music play before the doors opened again. He stepped out, legs carrying him to Val’s office. 
“Angel,” Jax said. There was no alarm in his tone, because nothing truly surprised Jax, but Angel could tell that he was curious as to why he was here. 
“Hey,” Angel said, stopping before him. “Is Val in?” Angel already knew the answer, but he waited for one anyway. 
“He is currently unavailable.”
“But he’s in,” Angel said, affirming what they both knew. He stepped past Jax and opened the door to Val’s office. Jax protested, but there was little time for him to intervene as Angel had already disappeared behind the door. 
“Angel,” Valentino sneered, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”
Angel crossed his office, his heels clacking as he made his way to Val’s desk.
“I heard there was trouble on set today,” Val said, picking up Angel’s side of the conversation. “Is that what has you all bothered?”
Angel stopped in front of Val, hands going on his hips. “The lights were Vercelli’s headache today, not mine.” 
Valentino sat back in his chair, resting his foot on his knee. “And what was your headache Angel baby?”
Angel Dust looked at Val right in the eye, “Our newest investor is a fan of mine.”
Val chuckled, “So I’ve heard. He’s visited you everyday this week. What a spell you’ve got him under.”
Angel rested his palms on Valentino’s desk. “He can’t keep visiting me.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“I don’t like him,” Angel said, furrowing his brow. 
Valentino nodded his head. He put down his leg and pushed his chair out from under his desk. “Hmm,” he said absentmindedly as he stood. “You don’t like him.” Valentino turned around so his back was towards Angel.
“He’s distracting me,” Angel Dust said, eyes following Val as he began turning around. 
Valentino’s hand swept backwards as he turned around–the back of his palm colliding with Angel’s cheek. “The next time you tell me what to do with my investors, you’ll get more than one.”
Angel stood up straight, his eyes glued to the floor.
“Why don’t you remind me why we’re working with that low-level scum in the first place?” Valentino asked–his tone venomous.
Angel said nothing, he didn’t move.
Valentino did not like that, he slammed his hands down on his desk. “Tell me why we’re working with him!” He yelled.
Angel flinched. “Because I fucked up,” Angel admitted quietly. 
Valentino grabbed Angel’s chin roughly and pulled him close. He got so close Angel could smell his last cigarette. “Because you fucked up,” Val said through clenched teeth.
He released Angel roughly and he clattered backwards. 
“Get out of my office,” Val said.
Angel kept his head down as he walked towards the door. He opened it quickly and closed it behind himself. Angel didn’t bother stopping to chat with Jax–he’d probably heard the entire exchange. All he wanted to do was put as much distance between him and Val as he could. 
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When Angel got back to the hotel, he went straight to his room–not bothering to greet anyone. Not that there was anyone to greet that afternoon. He stalked up the stairs–needing to blow off some steam–even after walking all the way home. Luckily he hadn’t run into Tezan outside. He must have left before Angel had come out. Thank fuck.
Angel went inside his room and locked the door behind him. He started undressing immediately, throwing his clothes across the room in organized piles on the floor. They ranged from rank, to soiled, to worn-once, and finally clean. It wasn’t a good system, but it was a system nonetheless. 
Angel Dust looked around for his pink sweatpants–eager to get into something comfy so he could loaf around in self-pity. Before he started getting irrationally angry, he heard some soft oinking in the corner. Fat Nuggets revealed himself from one of Angel’s piles. 
“Aw, Nugs, you found my pants!” Angel said happily. “I should have known they’d be in the pajama pile.”
Fat Nuggets jumped out of the way so that Angel could throw his pants on. Next, he tossed on an old black t-shirt. He collapsed onto his bed and Fat Nuggets joined him, hopping onto bed and begging for pats. 
Angel conceded, giving his chin a scratch absentmindedly. But pig-lovin’ didn’t scratch that itch Angel had. He needed booze after a day like this one. His first thought was Cherri–they hadn’t talked much since Angel ghosted her after fucking over Agony and Brut. If he called her up wanting to drink he’d have to fill her in on all the bullshit. And that was if she wanted to hear anything he had to say.
He sat up, grabbing his phone from inside his purse and looking at their last conversation. 
Damn bitch get it!
Angel frowned, remembering their conversation. Prior to Spitzers, before Tezan–before everything went sour. Well, he supposed it was always sour, but there were just enough sugar cubes in the lemonade to keep him sipping. Angel tucked his phone into his pocket and sat up, displacing Fat Nuggets enough for him to protest. 
“Come on Nugs, follow Daddy,” Angel beckoned, his voice high. 
Fat Nuggets did as requested and when Angel opened the door to his bedroom, he followed him down the hallway and to the elevator. It wasn’t five minutes before Angel was skirting through the lobby and to his seat at the bar. His seat, Angel scoffed. It was just the same stool he happened to grab each time he sat down with Husk.
“Husky, baby,” Angel said, waving him over once he got comfortable.
Husk looked over, his eyes already narrowed from the trials of the day. Despite the look on his face, Husk made his way right over. 
“I was wonderin’ if you were gonna make your way down tonight.” Husk said absently as he tossed a hand towel over his shoulder. 
Angel leaned in, covering his lips with his hand like he was keeping his next sentence a secret from the ghosts in the room, “Careful Husky, people are gonna think you like me.”
Husk shook his head. “You’re right, can’t have that.”
Angel rested his elbows on the bar, watching as Husk placed a pair of shot glasses and a pair of drinking glasses in between them.
“What will it be tonight?” Husk asked, hands going on either side of the glasses waiting patiently for Angel’s response. 
Angel made a face like he was indecisive. “Hmm,” he said. “Hit me with the Pirate’s Booty or whatever.”
Husk rolled his eyes, “The Pirate’s Treasure,” he corrected him. 
“Yeah, yeah, that one,” Angel smiled from ear to ear.
“Last time I made you that you couldn’t walk.”
Angel Dust put a hand up to dismiss him. “You still think I’m a lightweight?”
Husk smirked. “Tell ya what, if you can win it, then it’s yours.”
“Woah woah woah, winnin’ sounds like work,” Angel said.
Husk took a minute and assembled his “game”. He took three jiggers and placed them on the bar. Then he grabbed a napkin and crumpled it up into a tight ball. Angel looked dumbfounded at the mess he’d laid out before him. He raised an eyebrow. 
“Did I win?” Angel asked, being an ass.
Husk then got to work making three shots. Angel was happy to report that he recognized every single one of them. First, a standard green tea shot, then the Naughty Neapolitan, and of course, the star of the show: the Pirate’s Treasure. Then, Husk assembled three shots of water, tonic and sour mix.
Husk grabbed the jiggers and lined them up in a row. Then, when he was sure Angel was paying attention, he began explaining. “I’ll hide the ball under one of my cups–you guess which one is hiding it. You guess right, you get a shot.”
Angel smirked. “Sounds fun,” he said. “Alright, I’m game, but you betta get ready to make a whole lot of shots.”
Husk chuckled. “Yeah kid, I’m ready.”
Angel made a gesture for Husk to start. Angel concentrated on the three jiggers, watching as Husk hid it under the middle one. Then, in an instant, Husk began moving the jiggers seemingly in unison, switching their places with practiced precision. Angel watched in horror as he realized that he might just be severely outmatched. 
Husk paused, “Which one has the ball?”
Angel looked up at him, the betrayal he felt reflecting on his visage. 
Husk choked on a laugh. “What? Too fast for ya?” 
“You didn’t tell me that you were a savant.” 
“You got a one-in-three chance, those are some good odds.”
Angel sighed and chose the jigger on his right. “That one,” he said with as much confidence as he had in that moment: zero.
Husk smiled wickedly, and when he raised the jigger, Angel saw no napkin ball. Without skipping a beat, Husk took the green tea shot. 
“Hey hey woah, I thought those were for me?”
“If you win, if not they go to me.” Husk handed off the shot of water to Angel.
Angel huffed and crossed his arms. “Alright, next round. I’m playing seriously this time.”
“You weren’t already?”
Angel didn’t answer, instead he focused on Husk’s hands as they moved furiously on the bar. When he stopped, Angel pointed to the center jigger. 
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Angel narrowed his eyes. 
Husk pulled the jigger up and there was no ball again. “Tonic for you,” he said with a shit-eating grin. 
Angel growled, “Next round.”
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Husk chuckled as Angel struggled to pick a jigger. 
“You’re not allowed to laugh at me,” Angel said, trying to replay Husk’s movements in his mind to visualize where the ball was. 
They had been playing this game for nearly an hour and Angel had only won a handful of shots. Four green tea shots, one Naughty Neapolitan and zero Pirate’s Treasures. He’d taken countless shots of water, tonic and sour mix–and frankly, he was getting tired of it. The worst part of the game was the more Angel won, the worse he played–while Husk only got better. 
The alcohol seemed to make him looser, and his hands slid across the bar faster and lighter than they had before. This round, Angel wasn’t sure how he could possibly choose the right jigger. Everything went so fast. He wondered if he should just guess instead of trying to be logical about it. 
“Giving up?” Husk asked.
Angel glared up at him. “Absolutely not,” he said, and chose the jigger to his left. “This one.”
Husk had genuine shock on his face when he pulled up the jigger and the napkin ball was resting beneath it. “Huh, did you guess?”
Angel smiled, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Husk smirked and slid over Angel’s first Pirate’s Treasure of the night. “You earned it.” 
Angel smiled as he grabbed the shot glass. He downed it in seconds–slamming the shot onto the table when done. “Fuck yeah, I did!” He scooted in his stool, which caught Husk’s attention. 
“Leaving so soon?”
“Huh?” Angel said, clearly caught off guard. “Nah, just adjusting. Fat Nuggets is right below me.”
“So that’s where he went,” Husk said absentmindedly. “Do you want a cocktail next?”
Angel hmm’d and ha’d for a moment before he decided that yes, he did want a cocktail. “Malibu Bay Breeze,” he said happily.
Husk made quick work of the drink and in moments, it was standing before Angel.
Angel slid it over and took an excited sip. “You have no idea how much I missed this,” he sighed. “I went to a bar some levels down and it was the worst thing I’ve eva put in my mouth.”
Husk’s ears perked up at that. “Oh yeah?”
“Would I lie to you?”
Husk shrugged, “Must have been a shit-place if they can’t get a Bay Breeze right.”
Angel played with the ice in his drink by swirling it with his straw. “Only thing worse was the company. I was on a job.”
Husk didn’t say anything, merely cleaned up the aftermath of their game. But, just because he wasn’t responding did not mean that he was uninterested in what Angel had to say. As much time as they spent together, Angel picked up on a few things. 
Their silences were never uncomfortable–Angel realized that immediately. If there was a lull, by no means did either of them need to fill the silence with more chatter. Topics came and went as simply as breathing. Angel also noticed that when he was sitting at the bar with Husk, he didn’t have to put on airs. Where he would normally lie through his teeth before, he didn’t bother masking things or sugar-coating. If work sucked, he said it sucked. 
Oh, and he also figured out Husk’s tell. That was worth noting. 
“Who had the pleasure of ruining your day?”
Angel groaned just thinking about the disaster that was his work life. “A new investor for Mista Valentino. He’s a jealous man for someone who has so much.”
Husk nodded like he understood. Which, even if he didn’t, was a comfort. 
“He’s been up my ass at the studio,” Angel complained, “but he’s got a lot of sway with Val right now.”
Husk nodded along.
Angel rested his head on the bar. He needed to think of some way he could fight against Tezan when he was at the studio. If he had to be in the same building as him, he could at least try and play some offense. Problem was, Angel had no idea what to do. How do you avoid someone that can literally go wherever they please?
“There’s not much I can do to get away from him,” he closed his eyes. 
“Then don’t ‘get away’,” Husker said without looking towards him. 
Angel picked his head up from the bar. “What?”
“He can’t get you alone if you’re surrounded by people.”
Angel took a moment to think that through–despite all the shots swirling around in his stomach. Huh, he thought, surround himself. Husk had a point, Tezan couldn’t be up his ass if everyone was around. He’d be in the way–which was not what you could be when you worked for Valentino. 
Angel nodded, “That’s a good idea. Thanks.”
Husk shrugged his shoulders, “No problem.”
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charmedreincarnation · 9 months
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hii maya!!! i have a success story and im so excited bc this is my first manifestation success story.
for context for everyone else, i was getting bullied at my workplace. my boss hated me and would mock me in front of people and my coworkers disliked me and disincluded me from things and talked behind my back. It was so bad and i was searching for another job instead even though this was so close to my house, the pay was good, the actual work was easy. etc. I told maya abt this and she was such an angel and would let me vent to her and gave me a lot of advice about manifesting.
I wish I could say that I took her advice and changed my life but I honestly struggled a lot. I rmbr crying every single night before going to work and constantly just dreading being there or the thought of having to be there.
But everytime I vented, maya would always tell me to just affirm while listening to theta waves as I was going to sleep so I tried to atleast do that. In hindsight this was a really big thing. I was recently looking into SATS and reading posts about how important what you do before sleeping is because you are super suggestible. I think crying every night made me keep manifesting that my job sucked and stuff whereas affirming that it was great helped to start changing that.
I also tried to ignore the bullying and just act like I was being treated correctly. Like one time my boss said that she wished she had hired someone else and before I would have said nothing and just gone home and cried but instead I just laughed, taking it as a joke, and said that I'll make sure to work hard so that she can be proud of hiring me.
Slowly over the course of 2 weeks things started to change. We got 2 new people added into the team and one of them sits next to me and is my friend and I talk to him a lot. My boss and coworkers are okay with me now, like we have nice small talks and I haven't been undermined in a while. I made an error and before it would have become a big issue and while I did get scolded slightly, it was more of a "be more careful when doing this" versus what I usually got which was "you are so stupid, why are you like this." I also made a lot of other friends at work and work is pretty fun! I look forward to going to work sometimes (not all the time bc I'd rather just be at home in bed) but yeah it has changed so much and I'm much happier.
i just want to thank you so much maya. you are such an angel and i genuinely appreciate you so much. i can't wait to come back to you with a void success story!!
I am beyond proud of you! Your Success is proof that you overcame everything and persevered. But I actually want to point out your reaction to your boss, and encourage everyone to follow suit. You quite literally laughed at the 3D which is what I would do metaphorically but I mean physically probably works better lol.
Regardless I’m happy for everything you’ve accepted as yours. I’m also glad this is only encouraging you to want to go farther and achieve your entire dream life, not just a good one you can tolerate. When I reached this stage I remember I had a thought like “well maybe I should just accept this” “or it’s not that bad now I guess so do I really need to continue or can I chill” and if you have to ask yourself that the answer is no and you know you deserve it all at the highest degree.
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xxmaddyxx · 2 years
Text
The food baby <3
summary: mha boys react to your beautiful bloated belly <3 includes: Kirishima, Bakugou, and Todoroki masterlist
contains: mention of body shape, swearing (precious bakugou), and insecurity in some parts, reference to death (not a human)
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Kiri
he loves u anytime, any day, no matter the circumstance
you had just finished devouring two pizzas together while binge watching your show together
you did get food babies sometimes, but only when you ate big portions, which wasn't that often (mainly on dates bcs this boy makes sure you're happy and healthy)
you became insecure sometimes, but others you would just look in the mirror and love how perfectly round it was <3
Kirishima and you were sitting on his bed, empty pizza boxes on the floor, waiting for what seemed like THE longest commercial break to end.
Your stomach didn't hurt, but you felt the bloating feeling, like you knew you officially had a food baby
Kirishima got up and walked to the bathroom (just pretend the dorms have their own bathrooms) "Holy shit, babe! Look at this, hehe." He chuckled.
You walked into his bathroom to see his shirt held up, with a little belly bump hanging out.
"Shut up!" You smiled and poked his stomach, hard as a rock. (hehe get it)
"Lemme see yours." He touched the bottom of your (his) oversized sweatshirt. You lightly touched his hand and let out an airy laugh.
"What?" He asked, "Does your stomach hurt? I can get you some Tums-"
"Nono, Kiri it doesn't hurt, I just sometimes don't like how my stomach looks after a big meal."
He cocked an eyebrow, "Why? Food babies are adorable! Please?"
You gave in and slowly raised the shirt to reveal your belly.
It wasn't too big, compared to like Thanksgiving Day or Christmas.
He let out a big toothy grin, "It's so cute!" He stood behind you and slinked his arms around your slightly expanded waist.
"Really? I always thought it looked weird." You leaned against him.
"No, are you crazy?" He kissed your head. "You're beautiful, no matter how your body looks, now or ever."
"Thank you." You giggled and lifted his shirt again. "Bro, even your food baby has abs."
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Bakugou
no excuses, you cannot feel insecure around him
I mean like he is such a simp for you, it's literally HARD to feel insecure sometimes
But even Dynamite can't stop anxiety sometimes
You just lost your pet, the one you had to leave at home when you moved into the dorms.
The one who got you through grade, middle, and part of your 1st year of high school.
And you had chowed down on some sushi and ice cream, crying and scrolling through your pictures with your late pet (which i don't blame you)
Bakugou had gone out to go grocery shopping (bcs he wanted to surprise you with your fav meal that night)
While scrolling on your phone and emptying the ice cream carton, a text popped up from him
"Hey babe, I'm otw back to the dorms u want me to pick up anything?"
"No, im good thx"
You quickly got up and tried to pull yourself together as much as you could.
You threw away the sushi container and ice cream carton and looked into your full body mirror.
Your tank top and sweatpants outlined your bloated stomach and you turned to the side in disgust
Fluffing your hair, you put on a sweater and laid back down on your bed just as your boyfriend came through your dorm entrance.
"Hey- are you okay y/n? What the hell happened?" You could see the worry on his face.
Putting on a fake smile, you looked at him in his crimson eyes, "Nothing, why?"
"Because your mascara is smeared."
Shit, I thought it was waterproof.
He sat beside you on your bed and wrapped an arm around you.
"P/N died earlier today, and I ate a lot of food and I feel gross."
"Do you feel nauseous?" He asked.
"No."
"Then why do you feel gross?"
"Because of this." You stood up and lifted your sweatshirt to reveal your food baby.
"What?" He geniunely looked confused.
"Do you not see how bloated I am?"
"I mean, I do, but that's why you feel gross? Because of your body's natural reaction to eating? That's fucking ridiculous, you still look hot." You slightly blushed and put your sweatshirt down.
"C'mere." He pulled you into his lap and put his hands on your tummy. "I think it's cute anyway." He kissed your cheek, "How about, we get you some water and have a sleepover in your dorm. In the morning, if you're hungry, I'll make you your favorite breakfast."
"Okay, thank you Katsuki."
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Todoroki
he loves food as much as you do, honestly
you both have the occasional big meal together
he doesn't really get food babies but he's seen you with one before, and it didn't bother him at all
if anything, he loved the thought that you were nourished and happy :)
but, you and him just d.e.v.o.u.r.e.d. one of Sato's cakes
sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for him to finish showering, you continued to sip your bubble tea.
you got up to look at yourself in the mirror, because we can all be narcissistic at some point
and you saw it, quite the food baby staring back at you
"wow wowie wow." you mumbled out loud.
you already had on a big tshirt and sweatpants, but you still felt kinda bad
you just sat back down on Shoto's bed and scrolled on your phone
he came out a few minutes later in boxers and sweatpants, hair still damp
you looked up at him and admired the sight before you
"I'm back, can we cuddle now?" (i love how blunt he is)
"Yeah sure." You put your phone down on the nightstand and waited for him to lie down.
He spooned you and felt your tummy
"Are you okay?"
"What do you mean?" You asked.
"Your stomach feels hard, do feel sick? Was a quirk accidentally activated on you?" You could hear the true concern in his voice.
"No no no, baby. I'm okay, it's just a food baby." You turned over so you were face to face.
"Oh, that's good." He pecked your nose. "When your bloated it's always so interesting to see how your body looks. It's really cool in a way."
"Oh my God, you are the cutest thing ever, I'm keeping you."
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why-do-we-do-this · 1 month
Text
After several days of slowly translating, here's my version of Cellbit's pdf, translated into English.
I've included a brief summary under the cut for anyone who might not want to read the whole thing or who are wary of the warnings.
This was my personal method of processing, and I encourage all of you to do what you need to do so as well, whether that be stepping off of the internet and letting the moss reclaim you for a while, drawing, crying it out, comprehending the beautiful insignificance of existence for as long as you need to, or talking this situation through with somebody else.
tws for:
sexual assault, aphobia, suicidal ideation, manipulation, victim blaming
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Chronological Event Summary
At age 9 Cellbit had an awkward and very violating encounter with a neighbor girl who was older than him which left him traumatized. He questioned his sexuality as he was growing up, and thought things would make sense once he actually lost his virginity, which he did to his first girlfriend at age 18. Since then, he's been sure of his asexuality. However, this girlfriend was aphobic and constantly pressured him into having sex with her or urging him to seek medical help for his lack of interest in sex. She would embarrass him in front of his friends, gaslit him into thinking that no one else would ever accept him for who he is, was physically violent towards him, and cheated on him. Once he was finally able to pull away from her, she started making incessant posts about Cellbit being abusive, mean, and jealous, which caused backlash against Cellbit and his content, and she even used his depressive period and suicide attempt as reason to incite hate against him. Cellbit remained in silence in response to this, fearing what might happen if he tried to fight back, but, with the recent new allegation that this ex made accusing him of sexually assaulting her, Cellbit had enough and broke his silence with this document. He's said that he doesn't want this to affect him and his loved ones any longer, and he doesn't want to speak about all of this any more than he already had to.
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Cellbit's pdf
MY RESPONSE, 7 YEARS LATER
7 years ago I was in a relationship with a person who lied compulsively, cheated on me, tricked me and has tried to ruin my life up until the present, though I've always tried to stay silent.
This week, she accused me of sexual assault.
This is a complete lie.
It's time to finally tell everything that I have lived through.
[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018]
(ex-girlfriend) "There's no normal way to ask this / I'm just curious / but are you actually asexual? / or something?"
(Cellbit) "as in, not enjoying sex? / I am"
This relationship began in 2015. I had just turned 18 and she was 20. 9 years ago. I broke up with her in 2017, two years later.
After we broke up I never responded to any of the allegations that she publicly made against me. I didn't want my followers going on a witch hunt, and even less to expose a personal relationship which used to bring me so much pain.
The only statement that I made was related to me doing therapy, I never mentioned her name and never spoke about anything that she did to me. I NEVER attacked her nor encouraged any kind of hate towards her during all of these years.
And, despite her always claiming that "she doesn't want to revive that subject", she is literally the only one who keeps talking about it, inventing and distorting more things every time, even 7 years later. And I have always maintained my quiet, always held on to my silence. But this week, she has made the worst accusation so far, and there is no more silence to hold on to.
This is a document directly relaying all the facts of what I lived, with any evidence that I could get in order to confirm things. This is not me asking for forgiveness. I am not here to try to convince anyone that doesn't like me to change their opinion.
I've learned after all these years that in this situation I always am going to be seen as the one at fault. It doesn't matter what I say. Any kind of defense or argument is going to always be accused of "silencing" her.
And, if I keep quiet, like I did for all of these years, that would be interpreted as me "keeping quiet because it confirms the truth". And she'll continue accusing me of more and more absurd things.
So then, like I said, this is not an apology, it's clarification. A report detailing everything that happened, point by point, about all of the events that were "exposed" by my ex-girlfriend. And from there, you all can draw your own conclusions.
I know that even after everything that I write here, many people are still going to refuse to consider the other side of things. There is an image that has been constructed of me, where I am a psychotic monster, which is difficult to erase. But this document isn't for the people who believe in that. This clarification is for those who have always been willing to understand.
I just want people to finally hear my story and take away what they will from it. I am no longer going to let this destroy the lives of the people that I love in the same way that it destroyed mine.
ASEXUALITY AND THE SEXUAL ASSULT ACCUSATION
I am going to begin by directly responding to the accusation that is making me publish this report after all of these years of silence. I have never been accused of something as absurd as this, and I am completely certain that I can PROVE that it is IMPOSSIBLE that this claim is real.
After years accusing me of countless things, for the first time my ex-girlfriend has decided to accuse me of an unforgivable crime. She posted a tweet that mentions me by name, implying that I sexually violated her.
Without any proof, after years of making one exposure after another, trying to destroy my image and my life, she's finally decided to call on a lie about the worst thing that she can:
[A tweet from a fan and a reply from the ex-girlfriend]
(Fan) "I'm never going to forget the details she gave about how insane it was to give pussy to Cellbit because his dick was thick"
(Ex-girlfriend) "I really want you guys to stop reviving the sexual assault that I sufferered without having any understanding of things, as if it's funny. Unfortunately, I thought it was normal to feel pain and suffer a shitload of pressure to feed into his self-esteem publicly, and so I said shit that I thought would please him. You all should be embarrassed, bunch of assholes."
I am asexual.
All of my personal friends have known for many years that I am asexual, and I had mentioned it before in some different places publically. My sexuality was never a subject that I spoke much about, but was also never something that I tried to hide.
[A messaging string between Cellbit and an unnamed individual, dated 27th July, 2020.]
(Cellbit) "[Fans on YouTube] made a compilation of all the times I've shown being asexual on the internet"
(unnamed) "afkahfkhfks amazing / people are talking about that / you're fine with it?"
(Cellbit) "It doesn't matter to me, I won't have to suffer prejudice for it if I don't reveal it directly / despite wanting to eventually, only for those who are able to comfortably accept it as is"
(unnamed) "I understand / If one day you want to, you should speak about it. I think that it's more of a positive thing than a negative tbh lmao"
To be brief, this doesn't mean that I cannot have sex, but I simply don't have interest or desire to.
[An image of a youtube video thumbnail and title. The thumbnail is of Cellbit with a quote that says "I don't like to have sex," the title is "Cellbit, are enigmas better than sex?" the video is dated to four years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]
I've always been like this, ever since I was a child. And, despite being interested romantically in people and falling in love normally, I do not feel the desire to have sexual relations of any kind.
I always grew up feeling that there was something different about me in contrast to other people. I questioned my sexuality a lot, not understanding if I was gay or if there was something physically wrong with me, and I thought that maybe I would understand everything once I lost my virginity. This happened with my ex-girlfriend, and ever since that first time I had sex, I knew that this was really just the way I am. I began researching, reading about asexuality on the internet and talking with a psychologist about it.
Despite this, I can have and have had sexual relationships in my life. I just don't feel any desire or physical need to have sex.
Including, actually, that I have a healthy sex life with my current girlfriend.
My ex-girlfriend is now accusing me of sexual assault. We had sexual relations consistently, always when she wanted, it was always her who initiated, and she always told me that there was something wrong with me. It was a topic that she repeatedly brought up to humiliate me around friends, as well. Sometimes as little jokes, but other times in much more exposing ways. On one occasion, for example, we went out with some friends and she asked for one of them to give me a "lesson on sex" so that I "do things more enthusiastically."
She also constantly would tell me that I should go to be examined and get medical treatment to try and "fix" me. All of the sexual relations that I had with her went until she felt satisfied, and then she would tell me to finish up alone.
I talked with her numerous times about being asexual when we were together. I mentioned that I'd spoken about it in therapy and that I was reading more about it in online communities. She didn't believe that it was possible, and insisted that I had something wrong with me.
[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 22nd May, 2018. This is a repeat image of one that appears earlier in the document]
(ex-girlfriend) "There isn't a normal way to ask about this / I'm just curious / are you actually asexual? / or something?"
(Cellbit) "As in, not enjoying sex? / I am"
Even after we ended our relationship, when we spoke again in 2018, she still invalidated my sexuality.
I lost count of how many times she made me feel obligated to have sex with her, even when I clearly didn't want to, just so that she would feel satisfied, because of the fear that if I didn't do it, she would cheat on me.
Even knowing that it was a matter I didn't want disclosed, she still spoke publicly about our sex life just to make me feel more pressured to "go and see what's wrong with me sooner."
[A screenshot of a video with the thumbnail most of the way cut out, titled "Cellbit's girlfriend talking about his dick", dated 6 years ago. A link to this is included in the original document]
I couldn't understand exactly why she decided to lie about something that she knew I would never have had the capacity to do.
THE ABUSE THAT I SUFFERED
In addition to all of that, I had been sexually abused when I was 9 years old by my neighbor when I lived inland in the countryside, and she knew about this. This is a story that I avoided speaking about the most that I could, I never had the courage to even tell this to my mother, and my ex KNEW that I NEVER wanted to disclose this to the whole internet, no matter what happened. It was something that left me with massive trauma that is still very difficult to talk about.
Very few people in my social circle know about this, because it's something that pains me greatly to remember. In 2019, I also told part of the story to some mods and people in my off-stream chat community that I trusted.
[A series of chat history messages from Cellbit, dated to 19th May, 2019.]
"The older person wasn't a man / ...... / The story starts in the chicken coop / when I, my neighbor [redacted], who was the same age as me, and his older sister were playing wedding / I was the groom, she was the bride, and [redacted] was the minister / Their parents had left the house and it was just us three in the chicken coop of the abandoned train station house / After the ceremony, we didn't kiss, but me and the girl went into their parent's bedroom to have a "honeymoon" / but, I was only 9 years old and didn't know what sex was / I just knew that people got naked on a bed / so [redacted] stayed outside of the room, and me and his sister got naked on the bed, rubbing against eachother pretending that we were having sex. I thought that that was actually real sex and was mortified, she was a lot older and I didn't know why she was doing that"
And now, YEARS AFTER living that hell, being humiliated different times by her, questioning my own sexuality, feeling used, she makes a post implying that I committed the worst and most disgusting crime that exists. A crime that I suffered through.
A person that she KNOWS would never be able to commit that. But she feels free to accuse me because until today I have always kept silent.
Accusing me of something that was literally never mentioned by her before, suddenly, on the week that I am going to participate in an international award ceremony. It's something that comes up in a new story that she deletes soon after giving people just enough time to take a screenshot, like she always does.
She always alleged that we had a toxic relationship, but now, in 2024, she accuses me of sexual assault, without any kind of proof, and never having spoken about that before in all these years.
Even after 7 years, she continues controlling my life, forcing me to publicly humiliate myself and talk about the most intimate side of my life, making me expose my sexuality and the fact that I was abused when I was a kid, just to be able to prove that I would never do something as terrible as that.
For me, this is the limit.
I have always had empathy and concern for her, and she never stopped. I just want to live my life in peace.
THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND THE OTHER ACCUSATIONS
I met my ex-girlfriend in 2015, at an event called XMA 2015. I had a panel to talk with some followers and take some photos after. During these events, all of the guests stayed separated in some rooms where we could talk. There, I met her for the first time and we very quickly began to flirt with eachother.
[An article heading titled "XMA Mega Arena 2015: Event assembling champions and stars of e-sports" the subtitle reads "Fans of the main e-sports titles are able to watch the championships of the major Brazilian gaming teams," dated to the 1st of May, 2015]
[A video thumbnail titled "XMA - day 1," dated to 8 years ago. It is set 6:48 into the video, a woman can be seen on camera from waist to chin]
My ex-girlfriend present at the event in a video:
[A link to the above described video, which is included in the original document] - Video proving that she was at the event.
[An article headline with the title "XMA Mega Arena 2015 | Youtubers are a big attraction in an e-sports event," the subtitle reads "On the first day of the event, content creators call more attention than the champions", a quote at the top of the article reads "Man, do you guys know if Cellbit is going to leave to give autographs?" dated to 1st May, 2015. A link to this is included in the original document]
An interview that I gave at the event, proving that I was there.
We chatted for around 30 minutes, I had just turned 18 and had never had a partner. She was older, 20, and had already had various boyfriends before. We got eachother's numbers on WhatsApp, and I left to do my panel. At the end of the event, we encountered eachother again and continued talking a bit more.
During that night, I went to send a message to her and noticed that her WhatsApp profile picture was a selfie of a man, not her. I thought that she had given me the wrong number, but I sent a message and in a few seconds saw her changing her avatar to a photo of her and responding to me soon after.
I asked who it was in that photo, and she said that it was a joke that she was doing pretending to be a friend. We continued flirting and exchanging messages for some time, until someone informed me that she apparently had a boyfriend.
She was dating a professional LOL player, and had gone to the XMA event as his companion. His team was participating in the championship of the event.
[A low quality image of an information page about XMA 2015, including the location and date of the event, and some teams]
The LOL championship at XMA that her boyfriend was playing in
When I asked about this, she told me that he was just a fling (he wasn't, they were dating), but that she was going to end the relationship soon because she claimed that he "was rude to her." She said that she was just waiting for the right moment to be finished with him because he "was in a championship and she was going to affect his career."
While this was happening, she asked me to travel to her city so that we could meet. It was there that, a few days later, we found ourselves in Monte Alto, a small town in the countryside where she lived, and we stayed together in an inn.
[An image of a travel ticket for Cellbit, dated to 13th May, 2015]
Fare to Monte Alto, 10 days after meeting her at the event
[A post by the ex-girlfriend, dated 28 May, 2020. A link to this is included in the original document]
"I lived in Monte Alto"
It was in this inn that she cheated on her boyfriend with me, and was then that I lost my virginity, believing that she already wasn't speaking with him anymore. As it was my first time, she was constantly complaining and making jokes about me being inexperienced.
That was the day that I started to understand that I am asexual, something that would become important later on in our relationship.
We continued our relations for a few more weeks, where she would always give excuses for the reason she had not broken up with her boyfriend yet, saying that she was almost finished, that there was just one more game of his, it was just one more weekend.
Eventually, she asked me to help her write a breakup message for her boyfriend in a skype call, and finally we could have a "real relationship." But, the damage was already done, and I just hadn't noticed yet. I still didn't have any idea what I was getting into, and she was my first girlfriend. I was in love with a person who was manipulating and lying to her previous boyfriend, while she did the same thing to me.
Some of the people in the LOL scene who had met her informed me that she used to "switch boyfriends quite frequently" and that they had heard stories about cheating before.
That whole situation left me extremely traumatized and paranoid, but this was only the beginning.
A few months passed, we dated long distance for some time, and afterwards the two of us moved to São Paulo into different apartments. She was living with her sister and studying at college, and I moved in with some friends into an apartment.
All of this initial context is important for what came later.
HER ACCUSATIONS
In the accusations that she made after we broke up, the events have always been distorted and described in an ambiguous manner, using words like "abuser" and "aggressor" in order to give the understanding that what happened may or may not have been some kind of assault.
Among other things, she said that: "I kicked her out of the house," that she "was locked in a bathroom," that I called her names and that I "threw her things away."
All of these stories are distortions of one singular event.
On the contrary from what she insinuated when she said that "I kicked her out of the house," we never lived together. She was 20 minutes away from me, though she slept at my house sometimes, because we were dating.
During our relationship, she was constantly telling stories about a specific ex-boyfriend. An abuser who did cocaine, sexually harassed her, broke into her house, threatened to kill himself to stay with her, and that she'd had to call the police on him before. She said that she had him blocked everywhere, but that he still tried to talk with her after years, and had even followed her back to her house one time.
Eventually, in a moment where we were together, she was using her phone beside me and a Facebook Messenger notification appeared on the screen. It was a message sent by this ex, who I'd heard numerous stories about being a psychotic abuser, apparently responding to a message from her. I have never in my life seen someone swipe a message off the screen as fast as she did in that moment.
That was that day I discovered it wasn't just that she hadn't blocked him, but that they were talking about possibly getting back into a relationship. All of those messages were from the same week, as she was still dating me.
I confronted her for cheating on me, then, and told her to leave my apartment and go home. She began to scream and cry, shoved me, slapped me in the face, and locked herself in the bathroom saying that she wouldn't leave.
She used to hit me constantly, which back then I believed was "normal" because it was my first relationship. I thought that all girlfriends must hit their boyfriends, and even more so because she was a woman and smaller than me. At that time I didn't consider it to be "actual assault," even if it did hurt me.
Even with her slapping me and shoving me more than once, I never fought back or laid a finger on her.
I knocked on the bathroom door saying that she needed to gather her things and leave my house, and she refused. This is the story that she turned into "I locked her in the bathroom"- since, because the bathroom key was kept inside the bathroom, it would have been impossible for this, and illogical to lock a person outside of the bathroom while I was trying to break up with them for cheating on me.
As she'd refused to leave, I said that I would leave her things at the exit of the apartment and when she decided to go she could look for them there. I then put her bag in the building's garage. This was what she made into "I threw her things away."
[A tweet by the ex-girlfriend]
"He woke me up, angry because I warned a friend not to talk to him anymore because my ex was jealous, so he kicked me out of the house without shoes and threw my things in the apartment's garbage."
And yes, I did call her names when I discovered that she was cheating. And she called me just as many as I called her, if not even more. She'd make me feel like a monster no matter what'd happened, literally inventing things that I never said and making me believe I said things that I don't remember saying.
After that, we stayed apart for some months, but still kept in contact and saw eachother a few times. She invented dozens of different excuses, from "It wasn't exactly that and I understood wrong" to "She was just talking to her ex then because she was scared that he would do something to me."
She always knew exactly what to say and how to manipulate things in a convincing manner. Eventually, we went back to dating again, but obviously my psyche was already completely destroyed.
With the passage of time, our relationship kept getting worse and worse. I would catch her lying about little things compulsively and all of the time. I noticed that she would always change some details in stories she told, she constantly talked shit about all of her friends and mainly about her best friend at the time, or other specific things that didn't make sense like saying she'd never felt attraction for any man besides me.
At events, she would say that other streamers were hitting on her, just to see my reaction, and in one situation in particular, she flirted with another influencer so much that he tried to kiss her in front of me. Then when I confronted him, he justified it by saying she'd implied that we had an open relationship.
Besides this, she continued having more and more violent outbursts, often in public over small things, such as yelling at me in the middle of a restaurant with my friends because I put ketchup on the side of the fries plate without asking for permission from her, and then calling an uber and leaving.
Or even to the point of creating situations to blackmail me with, like hiding the notebook I was using for work and refusing to give it back to me until I'd done what she wanted.
Another one of her stories included a party where I "abandoned her and left"- at this party, we had a fight after I saw her giving her number to a guy she'd just met while I was in the bathroom. She justified this with "He looked sad so she went to talk to him and let him know that if he needed anything he could send her a message." After that, I went to the other side of the party, and when I came back, I could not find her anywhere. I looked everywhere for her and nobody had seen or knew where she was. I had her phone with me, and searched the party for almost an hour without finding her. I thought that she'd maybe gotten a taxi home or hitched a ride with someone. An hour later, a friend of hers dropped her off at my apartment and she said that she had been on the second story of the party (which was a closed off section, there was no party there, I never would have thought of going up to the second floor to look for her) venting and talking with a friend.
She also claimed that I wasn't supportive and that I tried to hinder her from creating content on the internet, when all of the first edited vlogs on her channel were recorded on my camera, and I was also the one to teach her to edit her own videos.
She made me believe that I was dependent on her, that I would never find someone who really loved me, that all of the others would only stay with me for the interest and the followers. And I believed her.
Eventually, after two years of an extremely toxic relationship, I finally decided to break up with her in 2017.
Even after we ended our relationship she continued her behavior of compulsively lying and manipulating. In the same month that we ended our relationship, she got together with another influencer that she had been talking with for a while. In 2018, while she was still dating him, she would secretly talk with me and say that she still loved me.
[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex, dated 9th July, 2018]
(ex-girlfriend) "You were enough [text that is cut off on the screenshot] / just for understanding who I was / or laughing at my jokes / or staying with me / etc"
(Cellbit) "I love you / sorry that's fucked up"
(ex-girlfriend) "I love you too / eh, [I'm] equally fucked up JFDKSJKA / It's too intense to ignore"
(Cellbit) "But I could never stop fucking loving you, Flavia"
(ex-girlfriend) "Okay, look, I already knew this / IQ of 220"
(Cellbit) "And I know that you have a boyfriend and I never wanted to intrude or say anything because I know how unfair that would be for you"
Including, we had NUMEROUS conversations about our relationship where we asked for forgiveness from one another. Even with her publicly saying that "we'd never resolved it" in her livestreams, we talked normally as if everything was fine.
This is literally the last interaction that we had before she blocked me and did the streams claiming that I was a psychopath who destroyed her life:
[A messaging string between Cellbit and his ex-girlfriend, dated 4th August, 2018]
(Cellbit, in English) "Hey / ummm / I love you and think you are [incredible] okay. Maybe today is a normal day but I want you to remember that when you are feeling down or anxious or sad. I dunno, okay bye sleep well / Also this really looks like a drunk message but I swear I'm sober / [audio message] Here's Tingrinho being a little engine as proof"
(ex-girlfriend) "WHAT A CUTE PURR / and really, thank you / c:"
The last interaction before all of the exposures in which she claimed that "we'd never resolved it" and never talked about it.
After everything, she still had the capacity to use my depressive period and exposing my suicide attempt as a way to VILLAINIZE me. It was the worst time I went through in my life. I couldn't work, I started doing drugs for some months, and could only think about committing suicide every day. I only made it through alive because my BEST FRIEND went rushing to my house to save my life.
It's something that I am always going to be grateful for, something that I am never going to be able to forget, and something that he also never spoke about because he knew that it was something I was trying to forget. It was an extremely traumatic period in my life and I promised that I would never relive it.
Another story that I NEVER wanted to have to tell, and one that she EXPOSED on a livestream of hers, like somehow me trying to kill myself was proof that I am a monster.
And even after all of this, I continued my silence, watching her distort everything that we'd lived and transforming me into a monster for all of the internet, scared that if I responded, everything would become 10 times bigger and worse, and the internet would make both of our lives hell.
When I gave an interview on the program of another influencer and was asked what the reason was for the breakup, I tried not to start a war or create gossip, giving a generic answer, saying that we went our ways and that everything was fine, because we really were talking normally. My ex used this to villainize me, saying that I was trying to lie about our relationship in the interview in order to "erase my wrongs."
[A messaging string between Cellbit and the interviewer, dated 4th August, 2019]
(Interviewer) "Man, this bullshit is all exploding, do you want to speak about this with me?"
(Cellbit) "Hey, [redacted] first off I'm very sorry that you got stuck in the middle of this without having any relation to it / So, about your video, this is by far one of the most unfair things in this whole story, because she made it out as if it was a lie, but everything I said was 100% true. / Or at least that was what I thought at the time, that we had everything resolved and were both fine on our own. / Considering, she and I used to talk just fine on WhatsApp"
(Interviewer) "Magical. I imagine that she was insulted by me because of the video"
Explaining to the interviewer that what I said was true and that we were speaking normally, like the screenshot above proves, despite her not believing it.
I was always scared that everything would become a circus, everyone watching as two lives collapsed, when all that I wanted was for her to be fine and leave me in peace.
After we broke up, I spent years without being able to have a relationship of any kind with anyone, holding on to numerous traumas, believing that I would never be able to trust other people again, and that I was never going to find someone who would accept my asexuality.
It took more than 3 years to be able to finally trust in someone again, and today I am in a new relationship of almost 4 years. An extremely healthy relationship that showed me what it really means to be able to trust in someone, and has made me into someone who becomes better every day.
But, once again, like has happened many times every year, my ex-girlfriend continues reviving and creating new stories every time something relevant happens. If I'm canceled for being an asshole and banning a guy playing Tetris, if another creator is canceled for an abusive relationship, or if I'm a participant in an important international award ceremony, she appears once more, posting something about the subject, and deleting the tweets some time later to remain in the role of someone who is being attacked and "not left in peace." Just like she's probably going to do again now.
With the passage of time, she has gone from distorting events to inventing completely new things, until at this point even the public is starting to question her motive for bringing up the same topic again and again, like saying that I "controlled what she ate" or that I "tracked her location with GPS" which are complete lies.
She also enjoys blaming me for things that I don't have the smallest relation to, like saying that my fans made her lose her Instagram and "lose job opportunities," when in reality her Instagram account was reported when she was canceled for a post complaining about an event and was mocked by various influencers and sites.
[An Instagram post by the ex-girlfriend]
"I did an event with them, two days to earn 1500 reals. They gave me the cheapest room in the hotel. IT DIDN'T HAVE ROOM SERVICE- dinner options were risotto or lasagna (both microwave meals) and I had to get it downstairs. I have half a million followers and I seriously felt like a nobody."
The post of hers that resulted in the mass report that deleted her Instagram
Another thing that keeps being said incessantly on the internet is that I "never suffered any consequences even after she exposed all of that"- I lost dozens of contracts from all of the publicity agencies and producers that closed their doors on me and never invited me back to events or ads. But, I never publicly complained or disclosed this, because more than once that has resulted in a war involving the public.
All that I could do was keep working and keep believing that at some point this would all end. But everything that happened caused a surge of hate against me which generated accusations of various very serious and unacceptable crimes that random people on the internet all believed I'd committed, even without having any proof at all.
And I will not stand this any longer. I cannot put up with this knowing that my mother receives threats and terrible DMs, seeing people telling my girlfriend to kill herself or cheering for her to be abused in order to confirm the theories and accusations of my ex-girlfriend and see "Cellbit exposed once again"
[Three tweets from fans, all responding to one tweet made by Cellbit's girlfriend addressing the ex's allegations]
"In a max of 2 years she's going to post that Cellbit ruined her life with psychological problems, that he was abusive and forced her to post this"
"I hope you get fucked a lot!!! You and your shit boyfriend"
"Guys, remember when he attacked his girlfriend? Go fuck yourself Cellbit, kill yourself you piece of shit"
And I'm going to continue prosecuting everyone who continues to invent lies about me on the internet, it doesn't matter how much the engagement. If you have something to say, it's best to have proof you can take to court. It took me too long to understand that I didn't need to stay silent in the face of the atrocities that were said about me, and I am not going to stop again now.
They have already destroyed my image and my life on the internet, but I am not going to let this continue with the people close to me. I want to be happy with the people that I love, and I am not going to accept being treated like a criminal any longer.
She accused me of sexual assault, something that could end me publicly, believing that I would likely not respond because I have never responded before. She was not accusing me of being a mean, jealous or possessive boyfriend like she always used to, she accused me of a serious crime.
And now, she's going to set herself back into a position where this document is an attack on her, when all that I am doing is defending myself from the worst false accusation that has been made against me, of a crime.
I want to make it CLEAR: this document is NOT an attack or an attempt to induce hade against anybody. I am simply defending myself and giving my statement of the facts that happened. I DID NOT WANT TO BE DOING THIS, but it was the only way to be honest and true to all of the people who have supported my projects and my community.
I know that people who already disliked me, whatever their reason, are still not going to believe me. Like I said, I am not here to try and change anyone's opinion.
In the end, here in this document is the proof of a pattern of lying and manipulative behavior that has happened with many people before me and that continues to happen with me repeatedly. I just want to live in peace knowing that I finally accounted for all that I experienced, and leave the space for people to draw their own conclusions.
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lightofthemoonglow · 1 year
Text
nsfw starters; fifty reasons to have sex
Category Four
4.‘i need to lose my virginity and you’re the only person i want to lose it to’ sex
Ash Williams
set sometime between Army of Darkness and Ash vs The Evil Dead…because dilf rights
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--
“Any particular reason you’re here, kid?”
“Don’t call me kid. Not now.” The age difference isn’t that big, he’s not enough to be your father. Probably. He’s definitely younger than your dad. But it’s still noticeable. And totally not something that needs to be pointed out at a time like this.
Every point had been carefully plotted out, it’s practically a goddamn presentation. It had taken hours for her to figure it all out and only a fraction of the time to get what you needed. This is a delicate situation, you want this to work out. It’s not a need, not at all. Just a deep, burning want that almost hurts if you think about it for too long. All you could do was hope that Ash said yes at the end of your pitch.
“Look, I am here to ask you for a favor. As you may have gathered, I don’t really…date.” After all, it was often just the two of you at closing, and you never went home with anyone when the two of you went to get drinks after work. Unlike Ash. Which was why you had decided he was the one.
“You want me to take care of business, huh?”
“…Yes.”
Turns out you didn’t need that presentation after all.
--
Ash tasted like weed, for the most part.
The two of you are tangled on his bed, the sheets pushed off to the sides, the blanket on the floor. Your back is pressed against the thin mattress, but Ash’s divine mouth makes that easy to forget. Years of experience probably helped but something about him tells you that his talent is innate. His lips are surprisingly soft, though his stubble burns against your tender flesh as he begins to move his mouth downwards.
“Been thinking a lot about this,” Ash murmurs in between your tits, teeth grazing over the swell of the left one before wrapping his lips around your nipple. Even though you knew it was coming, something about him sucking makes you jolt, a soft moan of pleasure escaping your lips.
“Oh fuck….” Your hands have no idea where to go, eventually settling in his hair, tugging him closer as your thighs clench together, the heat building. A part of you had expected…less, for lack of a better word. You had expected Ash to just get down to basics, in and out. But he’s taking his time, lavishing attention on both of your breasts, his hand slowly creeping up your thigh.
When he pulls back, causing his mouth to leave you, your response is an annoyed huff that is quickly cut off when he’s suddenly kneeling between your legs, his mouth right there. “Hey, you don’t have to-“
“I gotta, baby. You look so good.”
Ash’s tongue is good for more than quips, his sarcasm is now only secondary, he’s a literal smooth talker. Though this is hardly talking. Ash has your ass firmly in his grip, those rough fingers digging into your flesh as his tongue explores every inch it can reach. He comes up for air every once in a while, grinning like he’s just won the lottery every time.
Two fingers press in and yeah you’ve had things inside of you, but it’s different when it’s something alive and his tongue is also helping things along. You’re soon a mess, twisting and crying out, hands holding onto Ash for dear life. He murmurs something that sounds like gimme some sugar against your clit and you give it to him, coming on his face, all over that seeking tongue.
While you recover from your first orgasm given by someone else, Ash leans over you to grab a condom, putting it on with such ease that you don’t even have the chance to offer to help. “You sure about this?” he asks and there’s something vulnerable in his eyes. “It’s just that I really like you and I’m not lookin’ to fuck this up.”
“Trust me. There’s no way you’re fucking this up, Williams.” You feel warm, it’s almost weird, but you’re also happy. Ash looks so fucking good right now, sweat dotting along his forehead and his lips all shiny. You grab his face and kiss him until the taste of you is gone. “I asked you for a reason.”
The grin that brings forth almost makes you melt. Ash slowly parts your legs and then he’s pressing in. It feels like the world has stopped and then disappeared until it’s just him. He’s inside of you, you’re one for a glorious moment and it feels like the rest of your life can just be this.
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lcvernat · 2 years
Text
Cake-tastrophe | Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Summary: Nightmares are a regular occurrence for Natasha, luckily you're always there for her and know exactly how to cheer her up. So you suggest a late night trip to Walmart and baking a cake, which can’t be that hard, right?
Word Count: 1.7k
Content Warnings: fluff, strong language, brief mention of nat’s past
A/N: i love and miss her sm nat pls come home your wife and kids miss you <3 but can we all agree that nat is a swiftie cause i can literally see her screaming champagne problems at the top of her lungs at 3am also i am clearly a comedic genius with that title
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Something had woke you up, and you blinked slowly, trying to figure out what time it was and what had disturbed you. Your head quickly snapped to the left as you felt Natasha thrash beside you, grunts and whimpers coming out of her mouth. Her side of the bed was soaked with sweat, and you knew instantly that she was having another nightmare. It was a regular occurrence, yet it didn't make it any easier each time it happened. You sat up and turned on the bedside lamp.
"Nat, Natty," you call to her softly, nudging her gently, "wake up, it's only a bad dream. You're safe, you're okay,"
Whether she heard your voice or felt you nudge her, the redhead shot up, frantically searching around the room for any source of danger. Her chest was heaving as if she had ran a marathon, and her tank-top was stuck to her skin with sweat.
"Nat," her head whipped around at the sound of your voice, and you could visibly see her relax as her eyes locked with yours. She scooted closer to you, and you slowly put your arm around her shoulder, not wanting to frighten her even more. She placed her head on your shoulder, and you ran your hand up and down her arm comfortingly.
It wasn't long until you felt the wetness of tears land on your shoulder. "Do you wanna talk about it?" You ask softly. She shakes her head, remaining silent. "That's alright, you don't have to." You knew about Natasha's past and the Red Room, you knew her past actions still haunted her, and you were aware she tried to act like everything was fine even though you knew it wasn't. You were glad that she trusted you enough to confide in you, but you also respected when she didn't want to speak about it. You also knew she appreciated you just being there and holding her, so that's what you did.
After a while of you two silently sitting there, you tell her to turn around, "I wanna braid your hair." She nods, turning around. You gather her auburn hair together, making sure to get all the stray bits that had clung to her neck. Separating it into three strands, you started to braid it.
"I love you," Natasha spoke after a few minutes of silence, her voice hoarse from crying and disuse.
"I love you too," you reply, finishing the braid and tying it at the bottom. You place a soft kiss on the back of her neck, and she leans into you. You wrap your arms around her, placing your chin on her shoulder.
"I have an idea," you say. She hums and you suggest, "late night Walmart trip?"
"You know me too well," she replies, getting up from the bed to get ready.
"I know I do," you smile in response, getting up from the bed too.
"Can I wear one of your hoodies?" She's already shifting through your hoodies despite you not giving her an answer.
"Do you really think I'm going to say no?" You put on one of your hoodies too, grabbing your keys from the desk after.
"No, but it's nice to ask," she says, and seems to find one she likes as she takes it off the hanger and puts it on.
"Are you sure you want to go out in shorts? It's like," you glance at the alarm clock and then down to your pajama bottoms, "2:23am and probably freezing out."
She shrugs, "Live life on the edge."
You roll your eyes but take her hand anyway, leading her out of your shared room in the Compound and out to your car.
Once you’re both in the car, Natasha immediately reaches over for the aux, scrolling through her playlists until she settles on one and Getaway Car by Taylor Swift starts playing.
You smile softly at her, and she smiles back. This song was the song playing when you both were in the car on the way to your first date, so it was now officially dubbed as your song. You start driving to Walmart as Nat sings along to the song. You spared a glance at her, and you swore you fell in love with her all over again. She was the definition of perfect to you, even when it was the middle of the night, she had woken up from a nightmare and her hair was thrown up in a messy braid. You still couldn’t believe you were lucky enough to call her your girlfriend, even though it had been so long.
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You arrived at Walmart and entered the supermarket, immediately making a beeline towards the candy aisle. As Natasha was busy hauling every type of candy she liked into the basket, you had the most brilliant idea.
"Have you ever baked a cake before?"
"Once," she replied, not bothering to look at you as she grabbed a packet of Sour Patch Kids and put them in the shopping basket, "with Clint. It didn't end well. Laura was not happy. Why?"
"How about we bake a cake?"
She glances at you then, a look of childish happiness in her eyes, "Really? Can we?"
"Yes. Definitely, come on," you started walking towards the aisle with all the cake ingredients, getting a recipe for chocolate cake up on your phone.
"Okay, wait, won't Tony or someone be angry? It's the middle of the night," Natasha says as she catches up with you.
"Who cares? My girlfriend needs cheering up. Is chocolate cake okay?"
She nods as you put all the ingredients needed into the shopping basket. After you're done you look down at the basket, overflowing with candy and cake ingredients. Natasha looks down too, and then back up at you, "We really are not responsible adults, are we?"
"Definitely not,” you shake your head but choose not to dwell on it, you’ve saved the world countless times so you’re sure it’s alright if you’re irresponsible every once in a while, “let's go pay for all of this."
You pay for the candy and ingredients and head back to the car. Natasha rips open the packet of Sour Patch Kids as soon as you start the car. You hold out a hand, "Give me some,"
"Should've bought some of your own," she says between mouthfuls.
You don't take your eyes off the road as you say, "I am the one driving here."
Nat gives you a handful and you shoot her a quick smile before putting them in your mouth. The rest of the car ride is silent except for the music playing from the radio and the occasional crinkle as Natasha finishes the entire packet.
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Surprisingly, for two Avengers who save the world on a practically daily basis, you two are absolutely horrific at baking a cake. You probably should’ve listened to Natasha whenever she said her last attempt at baking a cake with Clint ‘didn’t end well’, but you didn’t, so now both of you were standing in the kitchen of the Compound at a little past 3am attempting and failing to save this poor attempt at a cake. The kitchen itself looked like a war had waged and the primary weapon was flour. You and Natasha were covered head to toe, half from getting some on you while baking and the other half from throwing flour at each other.
“We need Wanda,” you say exasperatedly, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand.
“It’s 3am, we cannot wake Wanda up to try and save this cake,” Natasha replies, busy smoothing out the icing on the cake.
“The cake is burnt, no amount of icing is going to fix it,” you point out.
She finishes smoothing and stands back. It really doesn’t look like a cake, and you really don’t know how both of you could’ve went so wrong.
“It can’t be that bad,” Natasha says, although her voice is uncertain. She grabs two forks and hands one to you, “time to try it.”
You reluctantly take a bite of it and your mouth turns up in disgust as soon as the flavour engulfs your tastebuds. You rush over to the sink and immediately spit it out, “No, absolutely not. That is the most horrendous thing I’ve ever tasted. How did we fuck up cake that bad?”
To Natasha’s credit, she did manage to finish and swallow her bite, although you swore you had saw her gag at least twice and she definitely didn’t look like she was enjoying it.
“It’s not that bad,” she says, though you take notice of the fact she hasn’t went for another bite.
You walk over to her and wrap your arms around her, “Admit it, Tasha, it was awful,”
“Okay, it was awful,”
You sigh, “I’m sorry, I wanted to do something to cheer you up and it didn’t really work out,”
The redhead turns around in your arms, wrapping her arms around your neck, she places a kiss on your lips, leaning her forehead against yours, “Don’t apologise, it was really fun, and it did cheer me up. Plus, we still have a mountain of candy to get through so, movie night?”
You nod, “Let’s clean this u-“
“What the fuck is going on here?” You both whip around at the sound to find a very tired, very agitated looking Tony stood at the entrance to the kitchen.
“We were baking a cake,” you say as if it wasn’t obvious.
“At 3am?” Tony questions incredulously.
“Yes, now run along, Stark,”
He stares at you unamused, “Well, for the love of God, at least keep it down. I could hear you all the way from my room. So, respectfully, shut up,” he stares at both of you for another minute in silence before turning around and leaving.
You and Natasha stare at each other silently for a couple of minutes before you both burst out into laughter. You double over, clutching your stomach as Nat leans into you for support.
“So, what about that movie night then?” You say as you catch your breath. Natasha nods and you both turn to clean up the mess you had made in the kitchen before heading back to your shared room to watch a lot of movies and eat a shit ton of candy like responsible adults.
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tags: @eonrioromanova
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