#which is unfortunate bc i have to talk to him for bounties but he hates me now apparently

[syn0vial]

Hi! :) As we all know, Boba decided to seize Jabba's Palace to install his own Spa there, but I wonder if you'd like to infodump about his feelings about the place prior to the takeover? Or just his relation to the Hutts and Bib Fortuna? :)

of course!

off the top of my head, i can't think of any points where boba explicitly states his feelings about jabba's palace, but the hints and implications we get in legends are very interesting. here are some highlights:

before tcw, boba's post-geonosis backstory in legends involved him trying to follow his father's posthumous instructions on how to become a self-sufficient bounty hunter. these instructions are extremely dangerous and clearly not meant for a 10-y.o, but boba doesn't realize this and does his best anyway. his father's instructions eventually direct him to find and work for jabba the hutt. he's like, 11 at this point.

as you can imagine, boba's first experience with jabba and by extension his palace are pretty terrible! hell, jabba tries to trick boba into indentured servitude just inviting him to the palace and things don't get better from there. the first "job" he gives boba is a contract to take out a smuggler/child slaver, which he insists that boba completes without any weapons or armor while being hunted-for-sport by a notorious mandalorian-hating bounty hunter :) bc sending an 11-y.o into a situation where he'll most likely end up enslaved or violently killed is apparently hilarious when you're jabba the hutt.

also, bib fortuna taunts boba and tries to scare him all the while, so like, fuck that guy.

needless to say, boba does not at all like jabba the hutt, even from this early point. like, every time he talks to jabba, he says shit like, "i shall do as you command, o wise jabba" while internally thinking, "you disgusting putrid slug. you horrible sack of slime."

even as an adult, still working for jabba, boba still feels no loyalty or warmth for his frequent employer, privately expressing the hope that the empire eventually "deals with" him.

so... boba hates jabba so boba hates jabba's palace, right?

actually, the truth is a little more complicated than that.

see, after jabba sends boba on that little suicide mission, boba manages to shock everyone by returning not only alive, but successful.

like, imagine that you're jabba the hutt and you send this lost little fifth grader without any weapons after a heavily armed child slaver while also having him be pursued by a heavily armed space racist. then like, half a day later, this fifth grader marches back in like, "hey i killed that guy for you! look, here's a trophy i took off his corpse!" and the relentless space racist? fucking gone.

jabba is delighted. everyone else is shook. and suddenly, boba fett goes from fugitive orphan on the run from both the confederacy and the republic to being an actually established bounty hunter in jabba's court.

not to mention, boba has friends there. sure, all the other bounty hunters hate his guts, but one of the kitchen servants has a daughter who was enslaved by the dude that boba killed earlier, so once he reunites them, he's pretty much guaranteed himself allies in the palace kitchens.

listen listen listen, i need everyone to know: in the depths of jabba's palace, in the twisting maze of kitchens, there is one kitchen, kitchen seven, where a wall is marked with two sets of lines. these lines are where one of the kitchen servants had his daughter and boba stand every few months so he could mark their heights against the wall and show how quickly they were growing 🥺

if that doesn't make your heart explode, idk what to tell you

ANYWAY. SO. it's not like jabba is boba's only employer, but in the EU at least, he was boba's main employer up until he was maybe around 16? after that, boba goes off to have the horribly tragic concord dawn phase of his backstory and then later starts doing jobs for other clients as well, most notably the empire.

i feel like boba probably has pretty complex feelings about jabba's palace in that he doesn't actually like jabba at all, but at the same time... it is, unfortunate as it may be, the first place he actually managed some semblance of stability after his father was killed. he had a job, a reputation, even friends. like, it's fucked up to say, but it was kind of a home to him, particularly in his younger years.

one thing that i think is very interesting to note: as both a child and an adult, boba is actually willing to sleep in jabba's palace. like, he has a room there with his stuff in it. this is noteworthy bc in almost every other case, boba prefers to sleep on slave I. this contrast is especially shocking when one considers that, even after being mand'alor for years, even when he's literally living on mandalore, boba doesn't sleep in any of the houses there. he still sleeps on slave I, despite the best efforts of his mandalorian found family to cajole him out of the habit, despite other mandalorians apparently offering to open their homes to him, because he feels like he doesn't belong there. again, boba DOESN'T sleep outside of slave I on mandalore bc he feels like he doesn't belong, but he DOES sleep in jabba's palace. definitely some interesting implications there on where boba feels he does belong...

#boba fett #jabba the hutt #jabba's palace #bib fortuna #i will say i am interested how that last part seems to have carried over into ''the mandalorian'' a little? #how boba resigns himself to bo-katan's comments about him not being a real mandalorian #and then fucks off to jabba's palace and takes over the place #seems fitting 👀

[t7-01]

does hondo ever get jealous of piik?

quinn. quinn quinn quinn. these are the kinds of questions i LIVE FOR. unfortunately i could write a short essay on most any topic in this au, SO i’m gonna put my long ass response under the cut. apologies in advance LMFAO

short answer: not…really?

long answer: kind of. so, let me go over the timelines for a second here (indulge me my friend) and then get into my thoughts on the matter

in canon, jango gets recruited by dooku in his early 30s, with the clones and boba being created around the time of tpm.

in the clone dad jango au, jango is recruited about a decade or so earlier than that, and while boba isn’t born until later (around the time of tpm), jango goes through his 20s training and getting to know his clones, which 1. makes him less hardened by age and 2. forces him to interact with the clones without boba as a buffer or his “real family” for a very long time.

when i hc jango and hondo being together in the canon timeline, i always imagine that they spent more time together in their 20s. jango didn’t have a son or duties to kamino at that time, so it would make sense that he’d spend more time with “friends”/“lovers” (or at least, his rare free time wouldn’t be spent training clones or caring for boba).

this means that in the clone dad jango au, jango and hondo have hooked up a couple of times and maybe have a strange sort of bond that’s formed, but the frequency and duration of their relationship just isn’t there bc we’ve carved away a whole decade’s worth of free time they’d have spent together.

now, in any timeline, i hc hondo and jango as being exceptionally open. they don’t hold each other to any promises of commitment or have any expectations, bc obviously their professional lives don’t really allow for that, and they know there are others in their lives who mean something to them, for better or for worse (hondo and aurra, jango and zam, etc etc). but i do think that hondo, at the very least, interprets this as meaning “we don’t commit to anyone else, either”. jango, meanwhile, is a little loose and fast with his interpretations.

so what i’m trying to say is: bc they don’t ever discuss it (bc jango hates talking about his feelings and hondo hates laying his vulnerabilities on the table), hondo is somewhat blindsided by piik. piik and jango don’t get together for a while, but hondo can tell pretty easily that there’s something between them, and it’s not just sexually charged (though there is that), it’s emotionally intimate. so hondo is more miffed that jango didn’t think it might be prudent to mention that he has a boyfriend (“he doesn’t even like me, hondo.” “no, my friend, he does not. but he loves you.”), and, more importantly, has settled down, bc hondo would just like to know where he stands with people - it makes him feel secure in himself and in his choices.

that being said, i think it’s pretty easy for them to move past it - again, this relationship has had far less time to develop, and while hondo would be miffed, he wouldn’t be hurt or offended. just vaguely irritated. i don’t think that jango and hondo would continue to hook up (or if they did, it would be only before piik and jango got together and likely only when they were both extremely stressed and somehow stuck together).

and while i’m a huge fan of polycules, especially for mandalorians, and can even see jango and piik being in one, i can’t see them being in one with hondo. for jango, he’s really sort of settled down on concord dawn, and while he may continue bounty hunting on occasion and keep up with old contacts, i think he’s mostly letting that life go. there are exceptions, ofc, but he and hondo know they’re better off friends in this case. for piik, he and hondo are too unlike one another, and not even in a fun “opposites attract” way but in a simple “this would never work” way. piik thinks hondo’s way too irresponsible and a bad influence on the kids, and hondo thinks piik is boring and uppity. so to answer your question, it’s less jealousy and more annoyance and lack of comprehension. besides being hot, hondo does NOT get what jango sees in piik. however, i would be remiss to say that piik’s dislike of hondo isn’t somewhat due to jealousy - hondo is unashamed of his previous sexual exploits with jango, and as much as piik hates to admit it, it bothers him.

on the bright side, hondo is fun and annoying about it once he’s over the whole “you should’ve told me” thing, much to some of the boys’ delight. cody and fox think he’s an asshole, and rex doesn’t like him talking shit about piik, but the others think he’s HILARIOUS and piik’s daughter cyelle especially loves when uncle hondo imitates piik having a crisis. “hey hey hey who am i: oh nooooo hondo you cannot let the little boy tattoo your lieutenant you are a madddd mannnn.” cue uncontrollable laughter from most of the kids, a very quickly covered chuckle from jango, and piik looking utterly unamused.

they stop hating each other eventually, when hondo and piik inevitably have to work together to help the kids and/or jango, and there’s the classic moment of begrudging respect for one another. but it probably doesn’t happen for years - coincidentally, once jango and piik get together, piik chills out a little around hondo bc he doesn’t have anything to be jealous of anymore. hondo notices this, and teases piik about it. so like, they’re never quite besties, but they do wear the get-along shirt for the fett family.

(and don’t feel too bad for hondo losing out on his dilf boyfriend: he sort of steals one of jango’s sons over to his way of life in the end. not telling who though!)

#methinks i’ve written too much #so sorry quinn 😭😭😭 #cornbreadastrology #t7 queries

[alexisluthor]

Prodigal Son Deep Dive - “The Professionals” *SPOILERS*

*PRODIGAL SON SPOILERS AHEAD*

A lot happened in the latest ep of PSON, “The Professionals.” As soon as Malcolm walks into the station and everyone’s staring at him, you know something bad happened. Plus, Gil was drinking. During the day.

So, Eve’s dead, that’s a bummer. We also miss getting two episodes of the show due to the virus, so who knows what those two episodes contained. What we have to work with is a seemingly all-powerful Nick Endicott who promised Whitly in 1999 that he’d…sleep with…Jessica and destroy his family if he ever reneged on their agreement. He’s made good on the first point and is working on the second.

It is my theory that when Malcolm went to “interview” Eddie, the man in the room wasn’t even Eddie. If the team were smart and trying to intercept Nick Endicott’s attempt at framing Malcolm…they would have a bandaged man sent to the hospital – have Malcolm show up with orders from Gil to interview him (which is weird bc he’s a profiler, but whatever). They’ve already got the assassin in their pocket. She goes to Endicott, tells him she killed Eddie and planted evidence after Malcolm’s visit. Voila. Nick thinks he’s got the upper hand.

The team has to keep Malcolm in the dark, to make everything look believable. But notice, at the end of the ep, Dani is looking upward. As if searching for cameras or something. Eve’s place had been spied upon and I think the team hoped that Malcolm’s place was bugged as well so that Nick would get the confirmation he sought. Malcolm gives an amazing ‘shocked’ performance, because it’s not a performance. He really thinks he’s being arrested. Although, if you watch his face carefully, you watch his expression shift to something…else. Less shocked and more… ‘aha, I know what you’re doing here.’

Maybe he’s safer in the clink than anywhere else at the moment – at least until Nick is…taken care of. But the promos for the next ep indicate that he’s not in jail.

Speaking of “taken care of…” as soon as it’s mentioned that Mr. David was sick, alarm bells went off in my head. It was nice to see Martin ‘caring’ about his ol’ pal, and even nicer to hear him hiss at Eddie that he’s, “not like other prisoners.” Is Mr. David still alive? Did Nick kill him?

Now we know that Martin’s cushy existence behind bars is because of Nick. But at what cost? The way Endicott threatened Martin…talked down to him…offered him his little rug. I would say that Martin is a…dominant…type. I think it’s killing him that Nick has infiltrated his family so thoroughly. That pent up rage is probably not doing good things for him, mentally. I think a lot of that rage comes out when he’s brutalizing Eddie.

The scene where Eddie tries to kill Martin was fantastic. Martin being choked…Malcolm unable to get into the cell. As he was being choked out, it was like Martin had all but given up until he heard Malcolm scream, “Dad!” It was a moment that so perfectly echoed that scene when Martin was in a coma. It was Bright who brought him back to the surface. Martin’s eyes snap open and he gets the upper hand, going into full kill mode, and all Malcolm can do is watch. I think Malcolm watches in both horror and fascination. This is the first time he’s really seen his father do real damage, revealing his animalistic nature in the most brutal fashion.

What’s just as shocking is the way that Martin attacks Eddie. He goes for the eye sockets, which is one of the ways he’d mentioned previously, to a collegiate Malcolm, how he could kill him. He tells Eddie, “this is for my boy,” and grins wildly at Malcolm as he does it. It’s like watching his sanity snap in real time. And Malcolm can’t pull his eyes away.

I think part of Malcolm…a part that he’d never admit to having…wasn’t too terribly upset by his father’s brutal treatment of Eddie. That is the man who killed Eve after all… The look on his face is more one of fascination than disgust. Despite not being >>as<< panicked as when Martin was being attacked, he still urges Martin to stop. JT pulls Martin off Eddie and Martin has this moment…it’s almost like he’d disassociated a bit. He almost has to come back to himself. Hmmmmm….

And poor Gil and Jessica, talking about Malcolm – drinking – reconnecting. Their night had been going well. Jessica is right, she sure can pick ‘em. And to find out that she did have a history with Gil is beyond satisfying and something I think we all suspected. But to hear that she had turned him away – made him think he wasn’t good enough for her – that was brutal. Poor Gil. Still, he got to have his life with Jackie. And now he gets Jessica. Or does he?

Boy…what a time for Martin. He lost Jess both to his enemy Endicott, and to his enemy Arroyo. That rage will really boil when he hears about Gil. He already fears that he’s lost his boy to the lieutenant and now his ex? Ouch.

We get that lovely kiss between Gil and Jess and several other incredible moments with the rest of the team.

Ainsley puts herself in danger as she tries to investigate Nick. But part of me wonders…if she’ll be the one to kill him. I think Martin went after the wrong kid to try to convince to be a killer. If I had to put my money on it, I’d see her killing someone before Malcolm would. Then again, he did stabby stabby his very own daddy daddy but I think the reasons behind that were more complicated than – well, he’s a killer. I digress.

And poor Eve. No wonder Malcolm is haunted by her specter. In a way, it is because of his family that both she and her sister are dead. She had just begun to taste hope, had just renewed her spark, and boom –  her life was snuffed out. I think Malcolm’s psyche is more fragile than ever as a result… How many ghosts can haunt him before he cracks apart entirely?

And what of Nick’s fury? What happens when he finds out Jess has moved on to Gil? When she says “no,” to him? Eeeeek. Martin is the big, bad predator, but he can’t do much protecting from behind bars. And judging from the ‘upcoming ep’ scenes, there’s a bounty on Martin’s head. He’s going to be in gen pop – all of his cushy privileges bestowed upon him by Endicott revoked. There is a prison free-for-all in the promo for the finale so I still hold out hope that Martin could manage a jailbreak, or at least a chance at staying alive.  

Tangent --- If Martin does stay alive (which he better), how would his dynamic with the team be altered now that he’s a ‘regular’ prisoner? No more private room? No more desk and books and surgical consulting? No more Mr. David, lion nature specials, and extensive private phone time? His own sanity would probably begin to splinter. Maybe his work/cooperation with the NYPD and surgical consultations would be enough to get him some old comforts back? As much as Malcolm professes to hate him (and does hate him), I don’t think he’d like these changes for Martin either (because part of him, also begrudgingly loves him). Perhaps he himself could rescue Martin from the lost privileges? After all, is it really a GOOD IDEA to mix Martin with a bunch of other prisoners? He is a puppet master, a mastermind. So maybe Mal gets him his old existence back. Wouldn’t that be a twist? >evil grin<

What I need is Mal and Martin in the same prison. Malcolm protecting him from getting whacked while the team and Ainsley try to bring down Nick. But if Martin is urging Malcolm to kill Nick, that means that Malcolm’s free. No Prison!Malcolm for me unfortunately.

I think it’s also highly unlikely that Malcolm will kill Nick in the end.

Finally, I find it fascinating that Martin urges Malcolm to be the killer, rather than Ainsley, even though he’s talking to both of them. He points out that HE is a Whitly. Like…hello? So is she? (THIS REALLY BOLSTERS MY THEORY THAT SHE IS NOT MARTIN’S KID – that and the way he barely acknowledges her existence) Maybe she’ll take Nick out in the end? Who knows.

All I know is that the team is more kickass than ever. Malcolm improvising with that knife and ketchup? Perfection. Dani taking out the assassin. Beyond amazing. The director actually giving us a LIT SHOT OF TOM PAYNE’S FACE…YESSSSSS. There were plenty of wonderful moments in this ep that have me screaming at FOX to renew this show.

PS If Edrisa is the ultimate Malcolm Stan…HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW THAT HE HAD DATED EVE? LIKE…what kind of stalker are we here Edrisa? You can do better. Plus, no one from the team thought to CALL HER? Give her a heads up maybe? “Yo – Bright is coming in. He dated the dead girl. Act somber.” NOTHING. She just had no idea. This from the same woman who HAD MAL’S MEDICAL FILES after he got kidnapped? I just…. sigh…come on team. Come on Edrisa. (GIF courtesy of MyBoy)

#prodigal son #prodigal son theories #pson #pson theories #malcolm bright #jt tarmel #dani powell #edrisa tanaka #gil arroyo #jessica whitly #ainsley whitly #martin whitly #nick endicott #tom payne #michael sheen #lou diamond phillips #theories #the professionals

[awed-frog]

in which caesar doesn’t do anything much and all the women are named julia

[Hi, this is me stanning Adrian Goldsworthy’s biography of Caesar. I studied Classics, but not this period, so all I can contribute here are squeals of delight, a few mistakes and the occasional witty comment. If you’d like to know more, please buy the book - it’s really good and a fun read.]

PART 2

The thing is - there’s a lot of boring relevant political stuff going on in this chapter, but I’m mostly fascinated by the glimpses we get into the world of Roman women. 

As I said, this is not really my area, so I know random, unconnected facts about how life was like for them; also it doesn’t make much sense to talk about ‘Roman women’, because, as a reminder, ‘Rome’ stretches from the 14th century BC to the 14th century AD, came to include dozens of very different regions, and obviously was home to an incredibly diverse population. And if we’re talking about the late Republican / imperial aristocracy, there’s a sharp divide anyway: on the one hand, the ‘ideal woman’ is the same old model we’re all used to and heard about (silent, obedient, virtuous, chaste, a perfect mother and so on), but on the other, Roman noblewomen had a lot more freedom than, say, their Greek counterparts, so there was usually some political scheming going on - something that in Greece was reserved to a handful of very well-placed courtesans. 

(In this sense, think about the contrast between Lucretia, the mythological wife of Collatinus, whose fridging created the Republic, and Agrippina, mother of Nero, empress and all-round badass bitch.)

Anyway, this chapter made me think about women because it starts with Caesar being born and getting his name - it’s sort of an urban legend, btw, that every single Roman had three names: that was just for the Moste Noblest - and how Goldsworthy casually mentions that, unlike men, women of noble birth would just take their family surname as first name. In Caesar’s family, for instance, all the women were named Julia.

(As a reminder: his given name was Caius, then ‘Julius’ identified the tribe, and finally ‘Caesar’ was a nickname that was possibly given to his grandfather for something elephant-related. 

People whose grandfathers did not do elephant-related stuff generally never enjoyed the prestige of a funny nickname passed down through the generations.)

So it’s bad enough that twins might be named ‘Peter and Not-Peter’ or ‘Peter and Twin’, but imagine going to the park with your buggy and meeting your old friend Oldest She-Jones (daughter of Ferdinand Jones), now married to George David Taylor, and her five kids - Louis David Taylor, She-Taylor, She-Taylor the Second, She-Taylor the Third and She-Taylor Born on Christmas. So damn cute, and also the reason why the Romans never developed smartphones or social media - how the hell are you supposed to find someone on Vultocodex when every single cousin and aunt has the exact same name?

Poor management, that is.

But anyway - as I said, there’s a dissonance here because women being treated like garbage (like, not given normal names and married off at fourteen) also led to the very peculiar phenomenon: generations of (male) politicians and VIPs being raised by very forceful, strong, and ambitious (widowed) mothers. Because if you count old age, wars, trampolining injuries (let’s be honest, men have always been obsessed with attempting dangerous stunts just for the fun of it) and the general risks of Roman politics, it was very usual for a noble kid to not even remember his father at all.

(Nero is a good example of how weird and all-consuming this boy-mother relationship could become - there’s entire books about it, but I’d point 16-and-over readers to Suetonius’ Life of Nero for details.

Keep in mind 95% of it is propaganda because Suetonius hated Nero, but still. HBO-worthy stuff in there.)

All this to say - we know that Caesar had a very close relationship with his mom (named ‘Aurelia’ because - you guessed it - she came from the Aurelii family), who was a near perfect figure of virtue, intelligence, beauty and common sense. Very powerful in her own right, Aurelia raised Caesar basically on her own, because her (much older) husband was either away at war or dead for most of their marriage.

Aside from drinking in Aurelia’s wisdom, Caesar’s education also included the normal lessons noble Roman boys were required to learn: self-worth, narcissism, delusional manias, rhetoric, martial arts, horse-riding, and writing really bad fanfiction based on Greek myths.

And now for the MEANWHILE part.

(I have no idea why this gif was tagged ‘meanwhile’, but I’m not enough of an idiot to let it go to waste, so.)

Meanwhile, all sort of messes were going on.

As I’m sure you remember, at some point the consul was Marius - Caesar’s uncle and a military genius, but not much of a politician. His negotiation tactic of choice was secretly inviting groups of unconnected people to his house on the same night, serving them dinner in two separate rooms so they wouldn’t see one another and try to work out some kind of agreement between them. Whenever a new point came up, Marius would say he had diarrhoea, pretend to run to the bathroom and instead sit down with the second group and see what they thought about the first group’s proposal.

(Isn’t ancient Rome magnificent?)

A big problem Marius had to deal with was how to grant citizenship to the allied tribes in Italy without pissing off current citizens. Basically no one wanted these other guys to be given new rights, but since they supplied more than half the soldiers of the Roman army and got nothing in return, their patience was running a bit thin. At some point, Roman bureaucrats started to erase foreign-born citizens from their lists claiming they were not actual citizens (something so openly dishonest NO OTHER GOVERNMENT would EVER attempt it again), and next yet another tribune working on a citizenship reform was stabbed to death in the street. 

So the allies went to war. 

(This war, confusingly, is known as the Social War, because ‘socius’ means ‘ally’ in Latin.)

As you can imagine, it was a disaster. Most of the allied communities had been part of the Roman republic for I don’t want to check but let’s say decades, they lived side by side with Roman families and fought in the same wars, so it was more of a civil war than anything else. Some tribes chose to remain faithful to Rome, others didn’t. Lots of people died.

Caesar was too young to be a soldier, but this was Cicero’s first taste of war (bet you never thought of that weaselly weasel as a soldier, uh? appearances can be deceiving, folks!). Marius was also involved, but since he was old as shit and had famously weak and leaky guts (hahahhaha), he mostly stayed out of active combat, which wasn’t all that normal for a Roman general. In the end, the whole of Italy, down to defeated tribes, cows, dogs and random patches of mossy rocks, was granted citizenship and everyone went home. Their votes, however, were inserted in the system in such a way that they didn’t count much. 

On the whole, the one winner of this war was Lucius Cornelius Sulla, one of the military commanders, who became a consul soon after.

Another war, because this is Rome and Romans were dicks, but! this one was in the East, which means every single soldier would get super rich and also! wars in the East were considered easy because *insert racist trope here* and! Sulla had been promised that, as the big winner of the Social War, he could go there with his legions and basically enjoy this Disneyland of golden cups and ultraviolence but! at the last moment, Marius, who never liked Sulla much, managed to snatch the commandership from him, which! was completely legal but also *insert outraged emoji* and wait for it! instead of going gentle into the good night, Sulla made a fiery speech to his soldiers all like GUESS WHAT FOLKS WE’RE STUCK HERE SCRATCHING OUR TESTICULI AND THOSE IDIOTS FROM THE 25TH ARE TAKING YOUR GOLD AND YOUR UNWILLING WOMEN and! Sulla’s entire army marched! on! the! city! of! Rome!

It was the first time a Roman army had ever invaded Rome. Nobody was expecting it, and people panicked. Sulla’s men won easily, burned down some buildings, killed some people, generally had a great time; and then Sulla announced a bounty for anyone who’d disembowel his political enemies (including Marius) because he didn’t have time to go to Braavos and learn how to do it himself (remember, he still had his war waiting for him in the East).

(This turned out to be a success, btw. One guy was even killed by his slave - Sulla gave him the promised reward, then shoved him off a mountain because duh, slave and “When I said ‘anyone’, I meant people, not IKEA furniture” and “Honestly”.)

As nobody could have imagined and/or predicted, as soon as Sulla left for Greece Weak Guts Marius came back with an army and took back the city, beheading his way to the Senate and leaving a trail of blood wherever he passed. As soon as he got there, however, he dropped dead - heart attack, trampolining, diarrhoea, who can tell - and the city was taken over by his second-in-command, Lucius Cornelius Cinna.

(Man, what a ride.)

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to know what Caesar was doing during this time.

Personally, I like to imagine him in Rome - a well-dressed, grey-eyed 15-year-old, freshly orphaned, horrified and exhilarated by the violence exploding all around him - I see him running down the streets, stopping to watch the corpses float in the dark waters of the Tiber, daring his friends to go and touch the severed heads nailed to the doors of the Senate; recognizing many of those heads as friends and colleagues of his father and uncle (passing a hesitant finger on the cold flesh, remembering how they’d once laughed and frowned and spoken about boring matters from the dais). 

The truth is, Caesar was just a kid. He was supposed to learn about the Republic, and his own role in making it great, by watching his elders. 

God knows what he actually learned, and what he thought, as he was passing through Rome’s paved streets, now shimmering with blood. 

PREVIOUS — NEXT

#julius caesar #ancient rome #history #classics #antiquity #adrian goldsworthy #book rec #history crack #sort of #elephant boy #problematic fave

[autisticlaezel]

bitter questions asks

I wasn’t actually tagged but I saw @fuckbioware do it and I thought I’d give it a shot

I’m doing this for Dragon Age and swtor.

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Smuggler/Corso. Jedi Knight/Doc. Doc/Quinn

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Torian/Bounty Hunter (though only bc my BH is a lesbian and like ten years older than Torian). Vette/Sith Warrior.

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Oh absolutely. The swtor fandom has a lot of “fascism is okay, actually” which is. Not something I want to deal with obviously. The DA fandom has a similar thing with feudalism and blaming oppressed classes for their oppression (mages, elves.)

Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

LS Jedi/Lana Beniko (I love Lana but. No. No, no, no). Theron/Lana. Koth/Lana. Doc/Quinn (especially because a lot of the stuff I’ve seen with them has Doc continously flirting with a visibly uncomfortable Quinn which. Is in character for him but still fucking gross).

Cullen/Amell. Cullen/Surana. Cullen/Hawke. Cullen/Mage Inquisitor. Cullen/Dorian. You get the pattern.

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

F!Sith Warrior/Pierce, because of the amount of fic there is out there with the SW revenge cheating on Quinn with Pierce which is um. Gross.

Fenris/Anders. It’s not so much that I hate the concept, as it’s that I hate the execution of it. It’s almost always written as emotionally abusive, and on occasion, physically abusive as well. It almost always paints one of them as like the most terribly evil person to ever exist and the other one as a Sweet Innocent Baby Who Can Do No Wrong uwu.

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

I don’t think so? It’s made me consider pairings that I wasn’t otherwise interested it, but never made me like one that I didn’t.

Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

The Hinterlands. Belsavis. The Deep Roads. The Fade.

Have you received anon hate? What about?

Yeah but rarely about fandom. Usually people are just upset that I hate men lmao.

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Doc. Corso. DS!Jaesa. Lord Scourge.

Cullen. Aveline. Arl Eamon.

Most disliked arc? Why?

Aveline’s personal quest. Sera’s romance quest (imagine thinking that it’s a good idea to force you to walk around and listen to people talk shit about your girlfriend without being able to defend her to progress in her romance).

Imperial Taris. Most of the Jedi Knight Story. With Warrior Alderaan.

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Koth Vortena. Satele Shan. Felix Iresso. LS!Jaesa. Ashara Zavros (?? I’ve seen a lot of people calling her whiny and complaining about not being able to seduce her to the Dark Side). Vaylin.

Vivienne. Blackwall (??). Sera. Anders. Merrill. Velanna. Carver Hawke.

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I’m not sure? Not that I know of.

Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Anders was right. Anders was right. Anders was right. Anders was right.

Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

The swtor fandom is generally pretty horrible. It’s full of fascism apologists, people who think that glorifying abuse is Cool Actually, treats any character that dares challenge them when they do objectively evil shit as absolute crap. And that’s just the Tumblr side of the fandom, because then of course there are the dudebros who dress their female companions in slave outfits.

Also people treat healers like shit in PVP arenas.

The DA fandom has a lot of the same issues. There’s also so much homophobia there.

Both fandoms have a racism problem as well.

Unpopular opinion about the manga/show/game?

Inquisition wasn’t that good.

The Jedi Consular story is one of the best ones, the fandom just doesn’t know how to appreciate something that isn’t Edgy and Dark(TM)

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Let me be nice to Sera! Let me be nice to Sera!

Forcing Fenris back into slavery shouldn’t have been an option. I know that Bioware RPGs are about giving the player the power to make choices and all that, but that was absolutely taking it too far.

Koth deserved better writing and to not randomly disappear. Where is he Bioware??

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

Um no.

What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Merrill/Isabela. Josephine/Isabela. Leliana/Warden. Hawke/Merrill. Hawke/Isabela. Inquisitor/Josephine.

What are your thoughts on crack ships?

Oh I’m very pro crackships.

Popular character you hate?

Cullen

Unpopular character you love?

Vivienne, Sera, Anders, Velanna, Carver. Koth. Felix. 

Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

Unfortunately yes.

Most shippable character?

Hawke, Isabela, Merrill, Anders. Varric.

Risha. Theron. Koth. 

Least shippable character?

Cullen. Doc.

And I tag (the usual gang):

@bastilashans @badsithnocookie @theebonhawke @atonerand @codariidoescrimes @micaldisciple @lordmalak @wolfdaddynedstark @sapphicsansas

#tag meme

[lesbianskylor]

How about some the ninja team on new years eve hcs?

new year eve’s hcs (im sorry if they’re bad i dont really do shit for new years)

also ships are greenloveshipping (pretty minor, dont worry if you dont know what that is), amberphoenix, and polyninja (kai x jay x zane x cole)!

kai and skylor get drunk

kai: *downs a shot* LET’S GET SHITFACED AWOOOO

(new conversation) skylor to kai: let’s talk about white people.

kai: why they always makin casseroles?

they stay up all night except for kai and skylor cause they’re drunk but they do make an effort to stay up

basically they wait for it to turn to next year then smooch their s/os, try to stay up another few hours then drop

their s/os take A Many pictures of them

lloyd, looking at polyninja kiss each other one by one: you know what do you think would happen if you all just. smooched each other at once

cole: how about you try yourself mr. i have like 6 datemates

they stay in the destiny’s bounty to celebrate new years instead of going down to ninjago city because Everybody Screams Down There

it’s also kind of a chance for villains to attack so they need to be on lookout

skylor: new years here is so loud. in chinese new year we just give each other money and that’s it

jay, a little tipsy: sounds nice wish i was chinese

skylor: y. you are chinese you dumbass

they try going down once., it was a disaster and that was their first and last attempt at going down to celebrate in ninjago city

kai and jay, bless their clumsy ass souls, tripped over like 12 people

all cole could smell for like a week after that was sweaty people smell

lloyd cried bc it was so, so loud

lloyd downs a jug nd a half of milk and throws up afterwards every new years eve

cole usually has to throw up too bc he hates milk

also it doesnt really help that lloyd’s lactose intolerant and that was., Not lactose free milk

he always lives in agony the next few days, however without regrets

they visit a museum bc there’s was a new years event

it was cool and zane liked it

tbh zane liking it is all the approval anything needs

the clock strikes midnight and there are like 10 different kissing noises. wu is disgusted.

also haha im gonna go through a loophole nd do chinese new year hcs too even tho that’s a month and a half away >:3

jay bc of being adopted by white parents never celebrated chinese new year very much. in fact he’s in the dark about most of his culture

skylor, finding out that jay never celebrated chinese new year: you sad, sad soul

she takes him under her wing for chinese culture

they eat Celebratory Noodles from skylor’s restaurant and go to an authentic chinese buffet for lunch

skylor talks about americanized chinese foods to jay and how to find out which chinese restaurants are authentic

then they go out to the streets of chinatown and watch a cool-ass dragon/lion dance!!

lloyd records the entire thing. it’s so cool!

jay finds the rhythmic thumping of the drums during the dance comforting and listens to lloyd’s recording a lot after that

the dance leads them to a mall and they watch somebody draw one of those traditional chinese paintings

nya and kai really enjoyed watching it

when they get home all the semi-decent cookers start making chinese food to eat for dinner

everybody helps at least a little bit except for cole. he just sits there and skylor Refuses to let him touch the food

NOODLES. DUMPLINGS. SPRING ROLLS. TANGYUAN (汤圆). NIANGAO (年糕). FISH. PORK BELLY. TOFU. MORE FOOD THAT I UNFORTUNATELY DONT KNOW THE NAME OF/FORGOT.

aaaLLLLL THE GOOD SHIT

skylor sings and teaches this song she learned when she was little that was about tangyuan.

if you’ve been in a learning chinese language school YOU PROBABLY KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

卖汤圆 !!!

it gets stuck in almost everybody’s heads and they hum it at some point

even wu. Even Wu.

cole loves 年糕 (niangao)

it’s basically chinese cake. why would he not?

he eats like half of the 年糕

skylor teaches them the song 恭喜恭喜

lloyd, screaming at the top of his lungs: 恭喜恭喜恭喜你呀， 恭喜恭喜恭喜你！！！

then they trade red packets! they use chocolate coins instead of actual money bc chocolate is more useful to a 17 year old (lloyd) than money

ed and edna participate too, except they actually give money

lloyd ends up with like 15 chocolate coins and he eats them all within the next week

jay is so happy the first time they celebrate chinese new years

pretty much one of the only things he knew about his culture was the language (ed and edna put him in chinese school)

and he’s super happy that he gets to finally properly learn more about his culture!

this was basically just me projecting onto jay and skylor cause Chinese. i also wrote more words for the chinese new year hcs than the actual new year hcs ngfnjngfdjnfd im sorry

feel free to send in asks for headcanons!

#ask #witchlightsands #jose (jean rose) #headcanons #skylor chen #skylor ninjago #jay walker #jay ninjago #cole ninjago #kai ninjago #nya ninjago #lloyd garmadon #lloyd ninjago #ninjago #ninjago headcanons #polyninja #greenloveshipping #amberphoenix #amberphoenixshipping #zane julien #zane ninjago