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#which is taking me a while to get used to😭😭
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Like an animal | Bucky Barnes
Pairing -> Avengers!Bucky Barnes x Avengers!Fem!Reader
Summary -> When you don’t want to hear when Bucky says something and you get hit by sex pollen he makes sure you know that you should listen to Bucky when he says something.
Wordcount -> 2.371
Warnings -> (E) 18+, Minors DNI, smut, sex pollen, slight thigh riding, oral (fem!receiving), unprotected p in v, rough sex, hate sex, using of the word slut
Request -> Heyyy. I saw your Bucky smut menu and I couldn’t resist lol. Could you do 1. Either enemies to lover or sex pollen (maybe both idk im not picky) 2. Protective Bucky (I wouldn’t oppose to him being slightly jealous too lmao) 3. Oral f receiving and hate sex. And for the petnames I cannot stand anything like pet, kitten, bunny, puppy. No shame to ppl who like them, im just more simple. I'm fine with stuff like babe/baby, doll, honey, sweetheart. I hope this wasn’t too picky lol😭❤️🤞🏾 @blckbarbiedoll
A/N -> Thank you so much for the request. I hope you like it. I tried to include everything you asked for so yeah just read and decide if you like it or not I guess haha. Divider made by @firefly-graphics.
Events -> Bucky Barnes Smut Menu
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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Bucky groans when you just hit the Hydra Agent before he runs away and you follow him. The brown-haired man told your brother he would take care of you, but you’re always so stubborn around him and need to prove that you can do things on your own. Of course he knows, but being the protective man he usually is, he is even stronger when he is with you. Not only because of your brother, who is also his best friend, but also because he likes you. Way more than he admits, he really likes you since the day you started to work together, and the two are always around each other. But a part of him hates you for being so stubborn; at least he hates you in a way that he wants to fuck your attitude out of you and teach you some manners.
He tried to convince you to help, but you were just shaking your head and pushed him away before you punched the other agent. Bucky was standing there, rolling his eyes, but he knows he shouldn’t make you angry; otherwise, he would get some punches as well.
When you run after the agent, he follows you with a groan. Looking around the corner to be sure there is no other agent. When Bucky walks around the corner, the floor is empty, and he can only hear some shouts and some noises, which tell him that you’re beating the guy up.
Meanwhile, you’re in a room with the agent; he just ran into it, and in your headspace of wanting to punch him, you follow him. You don’t really look around you; you’re not noticing the suspicious things around you. The only thing you’re focused on is the Hydra agent opposite you.
“You’re such a naive little girl, aren’t you?”
“Shut up. You don’t know me, and a little girl couldn’t punch you like that,” you shout and walk closer while you lift your hand.
He laughs darkly, waiting until you’re just a few steps away. Then he pushes a button, and a loud noise echoes through the room. You immediately cover your ears with your hands, trying to make the noise quieter. The agent pushes you to the side; you fall and crash against a table before you fall to the ground and make yourself smaller. You press your legs to your chest, your head resting on your knees, while you see the man pushing another button. Then he leaves the room, the noise gets quieter, and you inhale loudly, relaxing your body while there is a complete silence in the room.
You slowly sit up, looking around, but the Hydra agent isn’t in the room anymore. The doors are closed, and you inspect the things around you. There are a lot of containers, big containers. They are filled with some kind of colorful gas, and you wonder what kind of experiments they are doing there.
“Y/N? Are you there?” Bucky shouts from outside the room, trying to open the door.
“Bucky, did you catch him?”
“No?”
“Then do it!” you shout annoyedly back and roll your eyes.
“No! We need to get you out of that lab; there are chemicals.”
You sigh, annoyed. Bucky crashes with his shoulder against the door. While you hear him groaning, you stand up and walk over to one of the containers.
“BUCKY!”
“What? I try to open the door, oke!”
“Yeah, hurry up. It-It’s cooking,” you shout back, taking a step back when the liquid connects itself with the gas.
“What?”
Before you can answer, it bangs, and a big cloud of liquid and gas is over the container, slowly getting bigger like the fog during a rainy and cold morning.
“What the fuck are you doing there?” Bucky asks, and you laugh sarcastically.
“I didn’t do anything. Here are some liquids and gases, and it just- I don’t know. It’s green! Is that normal? Is it supposed to be green?”
“I don’t know. I’m not Bruce.”
“Bucky! James! When he is green, it’s not good, so get me out of that room.”
The fog coats the room, and even when you try not to inhale it, you feel it slowly rushing through your veins, and everything starts to tingle. You feel like you get needy in a way you never were before, and you feel your pants dripping, soaking your panties immediately. You moan softly, your hand slides between your legs, and you shiver at the touch of your fingers. You rub the fabric of your panties and pants against your wet folds, feeling a bit of relief when you move faster against your fingers. A moment later, the door crashes, and you remove your hand. With wide eyes, you look at Bucky, who just broke the door and is looking around.
“Get out of there, doll,” he demands, holding his hand out for you to grab it.
“B-Bucky. I-“
He makes you shut up when he holds your hand and pulls you against him. His firm, muscular chest presses against you, and you groan softly. His leg is pressed against your cunt, and you start to grind yourself against it, making Bucky look at you with furrowed eyebrows.
“What do you think you’re doing there?”
“Please, those- Bucky- Sex pollen,” you mumble, your head falling against his chest while you move your hips slowly against his thigh.
He gasps, his hands immediately around your waist to push you back slightly. Your head falls back, and your eyes are filled with pure desire and lust when you look at him. You bit onto your lip, trying to push your hips against him, feeling the friction you had when you moved against his leg, but he holds you still.
“Please, Bucky.”
“You should learn some manners, shouldn’t you? Running after a Hydra agent and being in one room with him. He could have done filthy things to you. Do you like that? Do you like being used by a man?” Bucky groans; his eyes darken when he feels his dick harden in his pants.
As much as he hates the thought of you being used as a fuck toy by someone else, he loves the thought of using you as his own little doll. Where he can let out his jealousy and his frustration that you just can’t listen during missions and that you always talk back.
“Answer me!" his tone is rough, his fingers digging into your waist, and you moan softly.
“Yes.”
Bucky groans and leans closer to you. Then he presses his lips onto yours and pulls you closer, his hard dick pressing against your stomach, and you whimper. His hands roam over your body, finding their way up your sides, squeezing your breasts through the fabric of your shirt and bra before he slides them back down and lifts you up. You wrap your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck, and your lips never leave his while he carries you to the next counter he can find.
With one movement, he shoves everything off the surface and places you on top of it. He takes a step back, still spreading your legs apart while his hands glide along your thighs. Bucky grips the waistband of your pants, tugging at them. You move your body up to help him so he can take off your pants and panties. And he does; he shoves both down your legs and smirks when he sees your already dripping pussy. You moan; the cold air hitting your wetness makes you even more desperate, and you want to move a hand between your folds, but Bucky stops you, gripping your hand and pushing it away.
“Don’t dare to touch yourself. You need to learn manners, and I will teach you them.”
Bucky gets on his knees in front of you, his hands sliding along your thighs before he grips them and holds them apart. Then he kisses a trail along your stomach until he reaches your pussy. His tongue slides through your folds softly, and the warmth of it lets you shiver. Bucky lets go, smiling when he sees your hands gripping the surface to ground yourself.
“Good girl,” he praises.
With a short kiss on your stomach, he guides his tongue back to your folds, sucking softly at your clit and circling it with his tongue before he lowers his movements to your entrance. Your moans and whimpers encourage him to continue to give you the pleasure you want him to give you with his tongue.
“Don’t cum before I allow you to cum.”
You nod, and he raises an eyebrow, looking at you. His hot breath against your wet pussy, coated in your arousal and his saliva. Bucky works his tongue slowly inside of you, taking his time while you push yourself more against him, trying to get more of his tongue. More of him inside of you.
“Bucky-“
“I teach you manners. So we go by my pace,” he explains, kissing your clit.
“You’re a tease, aren’t you, Barnes?”
“Such a big mouth for such a little girl, huh?”
He nibbles softly at your clit, sliding his tongue through your folds again before he kisses every inch of your private part. Bucky loves the way you whimper to get more of the pleasure he gives you. He brings you close to your orgasm, but whenever you want to cum, he just kisses your skin softly. He just needs to push his tongue inside of you, and you are almost over the edge, your walls clenching around him, and he imagines his dick inside your wet, warm hole. The way you’re going to squeeze it when you cum and the way you will moan his name when he thrusts his dick deep inside of you.
Bucky gets up, making you whine. He smirks, his hands still sliding over your thighs before he removes them. You want to protest, but you don’t when you hear him unbuckling his belt before he pushes his pants and boxers down. His hard cock springs free, the tip leaking with pre-cum. He is huge, and you smirk softly when you see the veins running along his shaft. Bucky grabs his cock, stroking it a few times while he rubs his thumb over his tip and smears the pre-cum all over his dick. Then he slaps his dick against your clit, making you gasp.
“You’re so needy,” he says, his cock resting between your wet folds.
Then he likes his dick up with his entrance and pushes himself inch by inch inside of you. He stretches you open like no one ever did before, and your walls are already squeezing his dick. Bucky tries his best not to cum immediately; the warmth and tightness of your pussy make him go crazy. He pushes himself inside of you completely. You moan loudly, your hands find their way to his shoulder, and you grip them. Then you pull him closer, and Bucky breaks the distance between your lips, kissing you roughly while he gives you a moment to adjust to his dick.
Bucky pulls out of you, thrusting inside of you even harder. He is rough, fucking your attitude out of you and the way you talk back. He slams his dick inside of you, forcing it completely between your tight walls. You almost scream at the harshness of his thrusts, his balls slapping against your ass while he fucks you like a wild animal. But the two of you need it - the roughness, the slight pain inside of you, which turns slowly into pleasure. A kind of pleasure you never felt before, one only he can give you while he fucks you like a slut, a toy that just wants to be used by Bucky.
“I hate your fucking attitude,” he says, pulling out to slam his dick harder inside of you.
You scream, your fingers digging into the skin of his back. Your back arches, and you move against him, wanting him deeper.
“I hate the way you always need to talk back.”
He uses his metal hand to grip your throat. Bucky just holds his hand there; he doesn’t squeeze your neck.
“Fucking. Little. Slut,” he groans between his thrusts.
“Bucky- I’m-“
“Shhh. But even when you annoy me with that, I love you, doll,” he admits while he fucks you like an animal.
You throw your head back, overwhelmed by the pleasure he gives you. You feel every vein of his cock; he hits your sweet spot whenever he thrusts inside of you.
“I wanna cum, please. I- Bucky, I love you too. Can I cum? Please?”
He chuckles, bringing his other hand to your clit and rubbing circles on it. At the same harsh pace, he pushes his high lengths inside of you.
“Cum, doll. All over my dick.”
And you do as he tells you. While you scream his name in pleasure, you feel the know in your stomach snapping, and you cum all over his dick. Bucky watches in awe at you while you cum, then he looks down where his dick is connected with you. His cock is covered in your cum, and he groans. When you squeeze him even more, he doesn’t need long until he cums inside of you, painting your walls with his seeds while he slows his movements. You both breathe heavily, your bodies covered in sweat, and Bucky lets himself fall down on top of you. Your hands slide from his shoulders into his soft brown hair, and you play with them.
“Do you mean that, doll?”
“What?”
“That you love me too.”
“Yeah, I love you, Buck.”
He smiles, leaning closer to kiss you softly. His plumb lips perfectly fit against yours.
“Let’s clean us, and then we go back to the compound. I will make sweet love to you there. How does it sound? And then a movie night.”
“But I decide the movie,” you say.
The two of you laugh before he kisses you again and slowly pulls out of you. Bucky helps you to clean yourself before he cleans himself between a lot more kisses.
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𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨
𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬
┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛
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Taglist: @sergeantbarnessdoll @kandis-mom @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 @suz7days @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @bucky-barnes-lover @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry
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ssahotchnerr · 1 day
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OMG OKAY, AN IDEA INSPIRED BY AN OUTFIT (or two) I FOUND ON PINTEREST!! (I'd like them, but you can't on anon)
Okay, so, you've been dating Aaron for a little while, long enough that you guys live together and Jack would like, love you.
Jack would have a lot of friends at school, and all the mom's would be really close and friendly and would hang out for the sake of having their kids hang out, and they'd sort of be friends in a sense. So, one day, (I don't have the logistics figured out, so bare with me.) you'd have been talking to one of the moms about a way to kind of insert yourself into the school a little more and make more friends so that it's less awkward when he wants to hang out with his friends. And, the mom would suggest you host a garden party. So, you'd throw a garden party with all the mom's and their kids and Aaron would just be the most supportive person ever because he knows how stresses you are. Like you'd be planning this for weeks and you'd spend hours setting up. He'd go to the grocery store with you and help you pick out good foods. And he'd help you pick out decorations and hang them all up. And he'd make sure everything was as perfect as you'd want it to be. And ofc he'd be there during the party and talking to the mom's about how sweet you are and about you in general.
Anyway, sorry about the word vomit that thought has just been rotting in my brain. 🫶
STOP <3333333 fem!reader
when you first bring up the party to him, you're a bit nervous. you're afraid he'll think it's dumb or unnecessary (which you know isn't plausible because he would never) - he's fully on board, soo supportive and immediately off the bat says, "let me know what i can do to help🥹" and gives you suchhh a sweet kiss 🥹🥰🥰🥰
all the prep <333 you're scouring pinterest for ideas constantly - food, decor most importantly, outfit planning, fun activities for the kids. hehe you do this in bed at night, with aaron resting his head on your shoulder. he's watching you scroll, adding input, answering your questions: "is this cute?" "what do you think about this???" and eventually he has to pry your phone out of your hand, place it on his nightstand, so you go to sleep 😭🫶🏻
and week of the party, he's the most helpful assistant <333 as the two of you are grocery shopping, he's in charge of the list, reading off to you what you need as you grab it off the shelves. aaron also helps put together little party favors, helps you make name tags for the tables, and simply does anything you ask of him. he knows how important it is to you that it goes smoothly 🥺 hehe i also like to think at this point, you, aaron and jack have moved out of his apartment to a house with a backyard - where the party will be taking place - so he's on landscaping duty. making sure the grass is mowed and neat, no leaves or sticks are laying around, and even jack helps!!! hehe you planted some pretty, colorful flowers for the occasion as it is garden themed, and jack helped with that 🥹 aaron also wakes up early with you the day of, to begin the prep and setting up. omg imagine him putting together the balloon arrangement you picked out 🥹<333 he would get SO frustrated LMAO but in the end it turns out perfectly 🥰🥰🥰
and since you're so stressed out about it going well, about the other moms liking you and making friends, if the weather is going to cooperate (you were in tears a few days before the party, the forecast predicted rain😭) and aaron clearly knows how stressed you are, he makes sure you take breaks, provides reassurances and helps you get your mind off it frequently <3 hehe he uses the excuse that he needs attention 🥺🤨🫵🏻 and how can you say no to him 🥰
and during the party, aaron's making sure you're enjoying yourself - this is your party. so he takes care of everything - if something is needed, he grabs it or resolves it himself, makes sure the plates of food are always replenished, cleans up. you went through allllll the trouble of putting this together, so you're going to be a part of it and not solely on hostess duty <333
aaron's even outfit-coordinated with you 🤭 his button-up of the day matches the color of your sundress <333 jack's shirt too!!!
AND AHHH HE LOVESSSS gushing about you to the other moms 🥰 he has the most sickly sweet smile on his face the whole time. about how sweet you are, how attentive and loving you are to jack, how lucky he is, how you complete their family perfectly <333 he of course compliments you on the party you put together too 🥹 "isn't it amazing? she did the most amazing job." 😭💞💓
and throughout, he keeps going to your side, pulling you close at the waist, kissing your temple 🥹🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭 and simply keeps an arm around you as often as possible <333 either listening or adding to the conversation you're partaking in <3
after everyone's left and the two of you are cleaning up - jack fell asleep on the couch, all the excitement wore him out 😭 - 🥹 aaron's keeps saying how proud of yourself you should be; the party turned out better than he could've ever imagined, the moms all loved you, he's proud of you, etc <3333 hehe he even throws in the teasing comment that now they're all going to be asking you when the next party is 🥹🥰
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yongility · 3 days
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NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 3/?
genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.
warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.
word count: +10k?
a/n: I’m sorry this took too long to post!! 😭😭 but I been so busy with college rn, I’m going to graduate this year so I’m like having a lot of work lately, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I was writing so that was the reason it took longer than expected, sorry!
I'm a sucker for cliche stuff so as soon as this fic popped in my mind l had to write it down, english isn't my first language tho.
I'm sorry if this is too long TT, but this is kinda a slowburn? it might contain a lot of parts so wait for part 3! One of the reasons this is long af it's because I would like to show you how Jaehyun and (Y/N's life is before they get together! So pls pls don't skip anything I hope you like it!
if you want to be in the taglist, just lemme know;) enjoy!
The third day of the week arrived promptly, where (Y/N) found herself comfortably seated in one of the library chairs, with her chemistry books scattered on the table in front of her as she studied for the exams she had coming up, with Jungwoo beside her.
It was becoming her routine for the week; after last Friday's party, what she most desired was to avoid being at home, especially after having an argument with her mother when she returned from the party.
She didn't want to deal with her in a good time.
Annoyed that her mother had thought it was a great idea to take away her right to use her own car as punishment for disobeying her that night and leaving the house... staying in the library seemed the most pleasant option; with silence, able to listen to music through her AirPods, without her mother bothering her every five minutes and being able to review what she had learned in her last classes: it was something she could take advantage of. She took a sip of her vanilla latte, which had been sponsored by Jungwoo, who, in an attempt to apologize for abandoning her in that way during last Friday's party, promised to pay for each of her daily drinks for a week and a half, no matter the cost.
And even though (Y/N) could afford that or even triple, she was still happy about it. Gifted things tasted even better anyway.
Of course, she first gave Jungwoo a -no- beating after telling him everything that had happened during his absence, but still, she appreciated that her friend was okay even though she hadn't heard anything from him until Saturday night.
During these last few days, with a new routine, (Y/N) was almost always in the same places, at the same times, and if she was honest, she was surprised not to have bumped into Jung Jaehyun at any moment.
It was weird; she would normally see him somewhere around the school, either accompanied by Lucas or just sitting on one of the benches while smoking his 'n' cigarette of the day. But simply, since Friday, she hadn't heard anything from him... she hadn't even bumped into Lucas, which increased the level of strangeness, considering he was a social butterfly, he was always around. (Y/N) had been aware of her words after Jaehyun had taken her home: she could no longer continue with whatever deal they had, with all the stress of her own tasks and knowing that no matter what she did, her cousin wouldn't give up his addictions, it was best to give up.
Although it would hurt her soul to know that there was no way to help Daeho.
But thinking about it, she didn't know if she had really been sincere about each going their own way... apparently Jaehyun had taken it very seriously to not show up anywhere, and although (Y/N) knew very well that being close to him didn't bring her anything good... his presence hadn't been so bothersome in the last few days. Really, after sharing a few words and spending more time with him, she couldn't say that she disliked his existence. It was funny if you asked the (Y/N) from a month ago, there would be no way she could have imagined that, somehow, she would be related to none other than Jung Jaehyun, who, on the outside, just seemed to be one more problem.
She tried to stop thinking about it and tried to focus her gaze on the book in front of her, but after a few minutes... it was difficult for her. There was something inside her that made her feel uneasy but she couldn't think what it was.
"There’s a race in Kosmo today" her best friend's voice brought her out of her thoughts.
Kosmo was the neighborhood that was right in the middle of the city, dividing Kwangya and Neo Zone. (Y/N) knew that there were usually illegal races in that area because it was when the rich kids from Kwangya usually dared to compete against Neo Zone.
"And why should I care...?"
"Your cousin will go to bet," Jungwoo replied, interrupting her study session.
The girl opened her eyes in surprise and asked, "How do you know?"
"Daeho told Mingi, and Mingi told me," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. The boy fell silent for a moment and cleared his throat. "Don’t you want to go?" He asked curiously.
(Y/N) looked up from her books and observed her friend incredulously. "Why would I want to go?"
"To keep an eye on Daeho," he answered.
"I'm still mad with him, I've decided not to help him anymore. I really tried, I've been trying for the past few years, but he doesn't want help and now I understand," the girl confessed, closing her book and letting out a sigh.
"Still... don't you think it would be fun? Getting out of our comfort zone a bit... seeing what all this racing stuff is about. I've heard they're amazing," Jungwoo insisted.
"Jungwoo, my mom will kill me if she finds out I went to an illegal race," the girl continued, taking a sip of her coffee.
"She won't find out."
"Jungwoo..."
"Come on, (Y/N), we won't even be in Neo Zone, it'll be in Kwangya only. We'll go, watch the race, and leave. We won't even make contact with anyone. We'll go on our own," the boy assured her, moving closer to her. "Please, I think it would be interesting to break out of our routine, just for one night, what could go wrong?"
"Many things could go wrong, Woo," she replied.
"We won't know unless we try," he pouted, clasping his hands together. "Please."
She hated how persuasive her best friend was.
She sighed and shook her head. "Fine, but at the first sign of trouble, we're leaving without a second thought."
"I love you so much," Jungwoo replied, hugging her shoulders.
"And I really hate you."
______________________________________________
The night fell faster than she expected, and among the roar of engines and the intense music that could be heard on the outskirts of Kosmo, (Y/N) felt something cold run through her body.
She could see familiar faces here and there, some of her classmates from Kwangya were in the place, and from the opposite side, the cars and familiar faces of Neo Zone were present.
It was a strange atmosphere for her; she had always played it safe, and now she didn't even know what to think. She felt herself getting closer to Jungwoo to not lose him, the last thing she needed was for them to separate like they did at the party.
She didn't think she could survive alone.
And it's not that she was dumb to think otherwise, but her parents raised her in an environment where they made her believe that she shouldn't do things outside her daily life. (Y/N) was afraid of adventures. Her life was governed by being obedient and doing the right thing; she didn't know when the moment of rebellion she had a few days ago when she left home the night of the party had been wise.
And now finding herself in Kosmo secretly from her mother at an illegal race? She must have gone crazy.
She believed even more so that she had gone crazy when something inside her hoped to run into none other than Jung Jaehyun.
She didn't understand why the urgency of what was happening, and even less why she expected to run into Jaehyun before running into Daeho.
Maybe it was because she found it strange not to have seen him since last Friday's party.
But she knew that if there was one place Jaehyun wouldn't miss... it would be the race tonight.
"Are you looking for Daeho?" Jungwoo asked when he saw her looking around. "He's probably with Mingi."
How could she explain to her friend that the person she was looking for was none other than Jung Jaehyun?
She nodded without saying more, and they both continued on their way while cautiously observing their surroundings. The smell of marijuana and car engines was embedded in the place, the music made their ears ring, and the night breeze made their bodies tremble.
(Y/N)'s eyes drifted away when she noticed Lucas in the distance, having a conversation with another guy. Lucas felt her gaze on him and looked at the girl with confusion before approaching her after apologizing to his companion.
"Hey, Kwangya kiddos, what brings you here on this magnificent night?" Lucas asked enthusiastically.
"We wanted to know what these races are about," Jungwoo replied simply.
"Hmm, interesting," the tall guy nodded. "Well, you're in luck, Jaehyun will race today, are you sure you want to see the show? The best of the area against someone from Yellow Wood," Lucas explained while cracking his fingers slightly.
Upon hearing the guy's name, (Y/N) looked up and paid attention to Lucas's words.
"If you're interested in betting, come to me," Lucas advised.
"I think we're fine like this," said (Y/N).
"Alright, take care. I'll go look for my guy to get him ready for the race," Lucas announced as he patted Jungwoo on the back.
The guy walked away from them with a smile, and Jungwoo responded with one of his own, then he looked at his friend and frowned, "relax, you're anxious."
How could she not be?
But before she could even answer anything, a few meters away, she saw the familiar face she had been looking for. In the distance, the silhouette of Jung Jaehyun was leaning against his car while talking to a few guys from Neo Zone, his neck tattoos weren't very visible due to the darkness of the night but she could distinguish them a bit, then... as if he had called him, Jaehyun's gaze moved to connect with hers, making her freeze in place.
Jaehyun frowned when he saw her standing just a few steps away from him, looking like a lost puppy as she stood beside Jungwoo.
The sight reminded him of a month ago when Daeho had clumsily brought (Y/N) to Neo Zone. Although this time she was accompanied by her best friend, another rich and spoiled kid from Kwangya. He observed the outfit she had decided to wear, once again, just like that time, it wasn't extravagant, no famous brand could be seen in her attire, and the only piece of jewelry she wore was a pair of earrings that definitely looked like gold...
He hoped she wouldn't lose them tonight.
Because they made her look good.
The surprise was evident on the girl's face when she took a better look at the brunet's body, who was now walking towards her, wearing a hoodie with its hood over his head and as he got closer, the darkness of the night was no longer so intrusive. It hadn't been enough to hide the bruises that were scattered across his body.
There was one under his cheek, just below his left eye, and it was reddish, as if it were flushed. Then, looking at the ones between his jaw and his neck, she noticed how they subtly mixed with the ink of the tattoo he had on his neck. That one was difficult to distinguish thanks to the dark lines that adorned that part of his body, but if you paid enough attention, it was alarming.
When she lowered her gaze over his torso and then looked at his hands, she could see the intense shades of red that his knuckles contained, as if ground blood had accumulated on each of them.
It wasn't the first time she had seen Jaehyun or Lucas with a bruise or two on a school day, but it was the first time she had seen it up close.
Her heart was pounding a mile a minute. Why was it suddenly doing this?
"Did you lost your way home?" Jaehyun asked when he was in front of her.
"Jaehyun," she muttered quietly, "... are you okay?"
The girl didn't need much to realize that was the stupidest question she could ask right now, of course he wasn't okay. And although she knew this happened regularly in Jaehyun's life, she couldn't help but fill her head with doubts; what had to happen for him to end up like this?
... was that the reason he hadn't gone to school?
A small smile appeared on the boy's face, and even with the different colors decorating his face, she could still notice the dimples that formed in it.
Why did he still look good?
"I don't think you came here to ask that, Angel," Jaehyun replied mockingly. "I really believed in your whole story about us going on our ways, so what are you doing at a race where most of the spectators are from Neo Zone?"
The girl was left speechless. "Jungwoo brought me here."
"Well, if that's the case, enjoy the races, I think it'll be fun for you to spice up your Wednesday nights a bit," he continued with a sarcastic smile.
"What happened to you?" She asked again.
Jaehyun didn't answer.
He had gotten himself into big trouble... all thanks to Jeno.
He had trusted that all his merchandise would be sold by the time Monday came around, but after being at Johnny Suh's party, where other dealers were also present, he didn't manage to sell what he needed.
He had a little less than half left in his pockets and in Lucas's.
Luck had not been on his side this time, and when he had to be accountable to Lee Sooman, he had to take responsibility for his brother's actions. And despite telling him that he would not take care of him like he used to after the argument they had... he'd much rather take the beatings he had received than see Jeno the way he did in the mirror.
That time, it really felt eternal. He still remembers the angry (but also mocking) look Sooman had on his face when Jaehyun and Lucas brought the money to his office and after asking Lucas none too kindly to leave, that was when Jaehyun knew what was coming.
With Cheol Uk by his side, leading him out of the office to the vacant lot not far from the warehouse, Jaehyun could do nothing but accept what was coming.
It was one blow after another, and he knew well that at that moment, defending himself was not something he should do or he would end up worse.
He remembers feeling every punch with tremendous pain, and all he could think about was Jeno and how he would have felt if it had been him getting beaten up.
At least Jaehyun was used to the beatings and had no choice; he already knew that all of this was part of being someone from Neo Zone, so he simply had to continue to comply with what Sooman demanded to the letter unless he wanted to end up again in the position he was in.
What felt like hours was really just a few minutes; Cheol Uk stopped hitting him after a while and without saying more, he left. Leaving Jaehyun in the middle of the vacant lot with a broken lip and eyebrow as he spat blood and reached for his abdomen for some support to get up and walk to where he knew Lucas was waiting for him.
How much more? How much longer would he have to keep with all of this?
But, right now, it wasn't something he should talk about.
"It's really not something you need to know," he replied with a smirk. "You came to enjoy the race, right? Then do it, I'll be running in a few minutes, if you don't get scared by the atmosphere here before that, I'm sure you'll want to see me," Jaehyun continued, winking at her.
"I think it'll be fun to see you in second place," the girl teased.
"Baby... I always win," Jaehyun bragged, looking her directly in the eyes.
It was then that the girl didn't say anything else, she just kept her gaze on his. She hated feeling intrigued by Jaehyun himself. Because right now she didn't even feel like she was in Kosmo, with Jaehyun in front of her looking directly at her, she didn't even feel real. She was getting into fire and she knew it.
And she didn't know if she could escape from it.
For a moment she felt a heaviness on her shoulders and warmth surrounded her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and notice that the jacket that Jaehyun was wearing over his hoodie was now over her body.
"You were trembling like a chihuahua," Jaehyun explained. "Don't consider it an act of kindness, I'm just returning the favor after having done my jobs those two weeks... at least now they won't kick me out of school this evaluation period," he continued.
"I'm not sure if I should feel good knowing that I'm indirectly helping an illegal business," she replied, adjusting the jacket.
"No one needs to know," he replied. "Good luck tonight, don't get lost too much because things get interesting," he said, and without further ado, he turned around to go back to his friends.
(Y/N) stood perplexed in her place, and it was then that she felt Jungwoo's presence next to her.
"What was that?"
"I have no idea."
_______________________________________________
The next morning, after putting her books back in her backpack, (Y/N) looked at the jacket folded inside her bag, feeling a heaviness and remembering the events of the previous night.
The rumors were true... Jung Jaehyun was the best street racer in the area, because he not only competed once the day before, but two more times, winning 3 victories in a short time, and to be honest, it had been impressive.
She hadn't run into him again after the brief conversation they had, and even though she had been waiting for it... she and Jungwoo bolted from the place when they heard the police sirens approaching Kosmo.
The last thing she needed was for her parents to find out about her escapade.
She didn't hear anything from Daeho the night before, she even doubted if he had really gone to the race.
She didn't want to give too much importance to the situation, which is why she chose to continue her path through the school hallways, hoping to return the jacket that was at the bottom of her bag and trying to divert her thoughts to something other than Jaehyun.
And as if she had summoned him, she saw him under the entrance roof as he leaned against the wall and took a drag from the cigarette in his hands. (Y/N) checked the day's weather and cursed when she noticed the raindrops falling lightly. She had forgotten about today's forecast.
Jaehyun was lost in his thoughts as he watched the rain and let out the smoke in his chest.
The bruises were still visible.
She stopped abruptly to take the jacket out of her bag and, without saying anything, approached him and handed it back to him.
Jaehyun looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blew out the smoke from his lungs.
"You're welcome," Jaehyun said as he took the jacket in his hands.
"Yes, thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks flush.
"Where did you park your car?" Jaehyun asked out of nowhere.
"I didn't bring it with me, my mom confiscated it," she blurted out without thinking, and when she turned to look at Jaehyun, she noticed a mocking smile on his face.
"Oh, mom took away your Porsche," he pouted mockingly and shook his head. "Come on, I'll take you home."
"I'm fine, Jaehyun. Thanks," she said as she looked at the rain.
"Come on, it wouldn't be the first time I've taken you. Plus, the school won't be closing anytime soon."
She thought about all the possibilities that crossed her mind, but something about her was excited to think about the ride home.
"Where's your car?"
______________________________________________
It was fortunate that his car was nearby.
Jaehyun turned on the heater as soon as they got into the car, and without further ado, the journey began.
It was just like the first time they had been together in the same car. Without saying anything, both with their eyes focused on the road, and it was then that they both realized that they didn't have a topic of conversation. The few times they had interacted had been about their interests and what they needed from each other at the moment. However, Jaehyun didn't know anything about (Y/N) that he hadn't heard at school, and (Y/N) didn't know anything about Jaehyun that she hadn't heard in the hallways or from her parents about the people from Neo Zone.
At this point, they weren't even acquaintances.
They had just coincided in something and that was it.
(Y/N) took the opportunity to send a text message to Jungwoo and tell him that he no longer needed to pick her up, without explaining more, she sent the text and subsequently, Jaehyun's phone rang.
The boy sighed and cautiously looked for a quick place to park even with the sound of the mobile phone ringing filling the car. He took the device and (Y/N) could notice the slight tension that seized Jaehyun's body as he read the caller ID, without thinking twice he answered the call.
The brunette felt weird being able to hear Jaehyun's conversation, so she tried to distract herself with something else. First with her phone, then looking out the window where she could see the rain beginning to dissipate, and then she could hear a "I'll be there in a moment" that made her react and turn to see him end the call.
The boy scratched his neck and then brought his hands to his face to rub it, let out a deep sigh, and looked at (Y/N).
“Uh, I need to do something quickly and your house is still a bit far... Do you mind if we stop by that place first? It's on the way” he asked with no other option.
“Does this has to do with your job?” She asked.
It took him a moment to respond: — No, it's not about my job. You can stay in the car, it's just that, I really need to get there.
After seeing Jaehyun's face and not being able to decipher what he was trying to say, (Y/N) nodded, not very sure, and that was enough for Jaehyun to quickly start the car.
Thousands of thoughts ran through (Y/N)'s mind. Eager to know where they were headed; she didn't know if she should believe Jaehyun that this wasn't about picking up or delivering goods or meeting someone who worked on the same thing he did.
She was only sure they wouldn't go to Neo Zone because they were far from there.
She could see how impatient Jaehyun seemed while driving, and that only made her even more nervous. What exactly did they tell him in that call to make him like this? She wanted to ask, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer.
She didn't know how many minutes had passed, she only knew that the rain stopped just before the car parked and she finally noticed where they were. A gray building was a few meters away from them, and it wasn't hard to recognize it.
It was the National Rehabilitation Center.
A long and large building, which was accompanied by an extensive garden, and from the outside, you could see that there were a huge number of rooms inside it.
Her head was flooded with even more questions knowing that this was the place where Jaehyun was needed.
“You can stay in the car if you want. I'll be back in a moment” Jaehyun said as he opened the car door and got out.
Curiosity got the better of her.
And that's why she got out of the car and followed Jaehyun. Without saying anything, they entered the building where they were immediately greeted by a nurse who seemed to know the boy well.
“Jaehyun, I'm glad you were able to answer the call” said the woman as she greeted them. “We need to talk to you”.
The boy nodded and turned to (Y/N), who just nodded and said, “I’ll wait for you.”
He smiled slightly and walked with the person until they reached the reception where she was able to pull out a few papers.
It had been, perhaps, about two weeks since the last time he had been there. A place he was very familiar with and where he regularly went; he had become good friends with the friendly nurses who apparently didn't care where he came from.
He was grateful that the nurse didn't say anything when his bruises and wounds were clearly visible.
“Has something happened?” he asked after a few seconds.
“ He's fine” the nurse said with a smile “but we need to talk to you about his stay here” she continued.
That's when the small smile on his face disappeared. Jaehyun knew what she was referring to. He swallowed hard before the nurse could speak.
“The payment is overdue, Jaehyun," the nurse confirmed what he already knew. "We care about Sicheng's health, but this is not my concern. You know that the center relies on patients' monthly payments, and the administrators in charge of them request them punctually," she commented as she handed Jaehyun one of the papers. "I understand your situation and Sicheng's, but there's nothing more I can do even if I wanted to; I've tried to delay the payment as much as I could, but unfortunately, it can't be delayed any longer. The administrators expect the payment soon, or we'll have to discharge Sicheng and send him home," she concluded.
It was difficult at first for Jaehyun to process everything the nurse had said, as more than ten things ran through his mind at once; one of them being his good friend Winwin, then, thinking about how he could quickly get the money he knew he owed to the clinic, considering the beating he had just received for not being able to complete a sale. So, what would he do? He still needed half the money for that monthly payment, and between the clinic's expenses and those of his own house for his family, he couldn't see a way to get the money on time.
He would have to ask for more stash to sell if he wanted to do it.
He couldn't let them discharge Sicheng.
Not while he hasn't made progress.
"I'm sorry," Jaehyun said. "I... I still have a little left to complete the payment. It's just that lately, it's been harder, and... how much time do I have to pay it?" the breathless boy asked.
"Considering that it's only the first few days of the month, and the payment is already two weeks late... I can't give you more than three days," lamented the nurse, making a grimace.
"I'll try the impossible to bring you that money on Saturday. Sicheng still can't be discharged; he hasn't progressed the way he was supposed to," he affirmed, a slight pout evident in his mouth.
What a contrast there was between his expression and the bruises, accompanied by the tattoos on his body.
Being in the Rehabilitation Center was the place where he could be most vulnerable.
"How is he?" he asked, lowering his gaze.
"Same as the last time you came to visit him," commented the nurse. "We're doing what we can, Jaehyun, but as long as he stays the way he is, we can't move forward. We need his will to help him."
When no words came out of his mouth, the nurse continued: "Jaehyun, you know you can go see him."
For Jaehyun, each visit was just as difficult as the day he decided to admit Sicheng to that clinic, and each one left him more tormented than the previous.
He would give everything if that means that Sicheng would go back to be himself.
He nodded after a few seconds and cautiously glanced back, where, not far away, (Y/N) was reading some brochures and observing the facilities around them; when she noticed the boy's gaze on her body, she walked toward him carefully.
The brunette didn't really know what came to his mind or what caused those words to come out of his mouth, but when he wanted to back off, it was too late, because they had already been expressed.
"Are you coming with me?"
And although (Y/N) had no idea why they were there or where they were going, she accepted anyway. So they found themselves walking down the long whitewashed hallway until they reached an elevator, and then they went up about three floors.
The atmosphere was cold, the hallways and rooms were well-lit, and they could see a few nurses and what she assumed were doctors walking around in their lab coats.
Jaehyun didn't know why he was allowing himself to show her that part of his life, especially when it was such a fragile part for him. He had tried to protect it cautiously for the past few months, and now he was there, accompanied by Hwang (Y/N), with the person he never thought he would meet at that moment.
He hadn't really thought of her when he asked if they could go there before going home; his head was only thinking about the clinic and Sicheng when the call had ended, and it was too late to change his mind when they had set off.
He just hoped the girl would be discreet enough.
They reached room 119, where Jaehyun pushed the door open and where in a wheelchair, they both could see Winwin, who was facing the large window of his room, looking outside.
(Y/N)'s surprised face did not go unnoticed; she was confused in a thousand ways. She knew who Dong Sicheng was; everyone in her school knew him, however... she thought he had simply left the city. She had no idea he was in that place. So in her head, thousands of questions arose about him, why he was there, and why he was in a wheelchair.
She could only react when she heard Jaehyun's voice: "Hey, buddy. How are you today?"
Nothing.
That's what he received.
Jaehyun walked over to him, and when he stood next to him, he crouched down enough to be able to observe him better. Winwin had his gaze fixed forward, his cheeks were a little rosy, his hair fell over his forehead, and his hands were resting on his legs.
Jaehyun sighed.
"Oh, I see you've taken a shower today," the boy mentioned with a smile, and again, there was not a single response.
When he noticed the presence of the girl, who had remained in her place throughout the visit and hesitated to approach them, he spoke: "Today I'm not alone; I brought company. Maybe you'll find it helpful to hear another voice that isn't mine or Lucas's... or the nurses'," the boy teased and gestured to the brunette to come closer, who obeyed. "Do you remember (Y/N)? She was in our class; we've coincided a couple of times, that's why she's here."
"Hello, Winwin," she greeted softly. Jaehyun made a grimace and stood up from his place to be at the girl's height.
"Don't expect an answer," Jaehyun commented. "There won't be one."
"I thought... I thought Winwin had moved to China," (Y/N) confessed.
Jaehyun snorted: "Yes, that's what everyone thinks."
Those words took her by surprise, and it was when she decided to remain silent, watching from a distance the little interaction between the boys: it was just Jaehyun saying a few words while adjusting Sicheng's hair without expecting any response.
Dong Sicheng and Jung Jaehyun had been friends since birth, being two little boys who grew up on the streets of Neo Zone, it was easy to click with each other. Winwin's parents had decided to move to the infamous area after his father had met Lee Sooman in some low neighborhood in Wenzhou, China, and he had offered him a job where he could have his family at least a little better off than in his country.
Winwin had not joined the gang since it had not been of great urgency to him; his father was the active member needed by the family, and if he were honest... the farthest he could be from the Neo Zone gang... the better. He was always Jaehyun's companion at all times. Best friends who shared every detail of their lives for years, Jaehyun took care of Sicheng, and he provided the most sincere friendship he had ever had... then, a while later, Lucas Wong and Mark Lee joined their adventures.
Four boys from Neo Zone with the desire to conquer the world, but unable to leave their sad reality behind.
Jaehyun still remembers that fateful day a year ago, and he still feels like it happened yesterday.
The guilt gnawed at him every passing day, terrorizing each of his nights as he wondered: Why?
Why did something like that have to happen to someone as good as Dong Sicheng was?
A year ago, when Jaehyun had chosen to go deliver a package of stash after Winwin had asked him to stay and keep him company, and he had denied that request... that decision still drilled into his head.
Winwin's family and he had been robbed in their own home. Knowing who had done it, the reasons for the event, and who had ordered such inhumanity, were still a mystery. When Winwin's parents along with him tried to flee the place by leaving in a car; it had not been the wisest decision they had made at the moment... because not long after, outside of Neo Zone, after the group of people who had robbed their home managed to shoot a clean shot in one of the tires of the rear part of the car, causing Winwin's father to lose control of his own vehicle and not a few meters later it would impact hard enough for the car to be shot in another direction, causing immediate damage.
Jaehyun only remembers receiving a call from Lucas and minutes later finding himself at the entrance to the Emergency Room of the General Hospital, where a stretcher with Winwin's body was being transported.
He remembers seeing the blood. He remembers hearing Lucas and Mark's screams asking to see their friend. He remembers standing still at the entrance to the Emergency Room.
But above all, he remembers thinking, what would have happened if instead of deciding to go sell that stupid package of stash, what if he had stayed at home with his mother and Sicheng?
A week in a coma and a diagnosis of paraplegia was what made Jaehyun lose his mind.
It had been a year since the accident, and Winwin had not even progressed a bit. After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, it had been difficult to help the injury in the dorsal spine that he had suffered; the damage had been partial, Winwin could handle his movements and his sensitivity to walk again... if only he would come out of the state of shock he was still in.
There were too many things he experienced in so few minutes, so much physical and mental pain for what happened, that now, Sicheng couldn't react.
It had been a year since Sicheng hasn’t spoken.
The doctors assured that he could hear and understand everything, but he was simply mentally tired to process the words and make them come out of his mouth.
His body didn't react as it should either.
And until Winwin had the strength of his own will to do it, the only thing they could do at that clinic was to keep him on medication so that the pains would not persist.
But Jaehyun couldn't take it anymore.
What he would give for Sicheng to be able to enjoy life again.
Unfortunately, the visits he made to the hospital... didn't last more than half an hour since that was the place's regulation. So, his farewell was as quick as his arrival.
"See you on Saturday, Win," he put his hand on his shoulder. "Don't give the nurses too much trouble."
He could swear he heard Winwin laugh and say goodbye.
Even though that really didn't happen.
(Y/N), who throughout the visit remained silent observing both boys, could feel her heart in her hand. She had never believed she would see that vulnerability on Jaehyun's part, and knowing what it was about because of the importance his best friend had in his life, made her heart ache with sadness even more.
"Now I'll take you home," murmured Jaehyun when he passed by her without saying anything else.
The girl glanced back, looking for the last time at Sicheng's silhouette, who hadn't moved from the same place since they had both arrived in the room. She took a deep breath and left the room when Jaehyun was already far enough away.
She didn't know what to say. There were no words of comfort for the situation, and she knew it, that's why they both silently said goodbye to the nurse who had received them and continued like that until they entered the car, which was not parked far away.
Jaehyun allowed himself to lean back on the driver's seat as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily.
"I guess you have many questions," Jaehyun said without opening his eyes.
She had.
"I don't know if I really should ask them," (Y/N) confessed as she looked at him.
The boy remained silent for a few seconds.
"Sicheng and his parents had an accident a year ago," Jaehyun said, opening his eyes to look at her. "An accident that was caused."
"By whom?"
"No one knows," he replied, taking his hands to the steering wheel of the car and squeezing it tightly. "His parents died instantly... Winwin arrived at the hospital in critical condition; it was a miracle that he came out alive."
"Why...?"
"Why is he in this clinic?" he interrupted, and she nodded with a knot in her stomach. "The accident had a great impact and damaged on his dorsal spine; the doctors diagnosed partial paraplegia; his sensitivity in his legs was minimal, and he couldn't make any extensive movements with his legs that didn't make him cry from the pain. After seven days, he woke up from the coma and realized everything that had happened, including my uncle's death... he hasn't said a single word since then... the doctors said it would take time for him to recover, and that eventually, he would speak, but Winwin doesn't have the will to do it; he's still in a kind of state of shock, and that has delayed his recovery," he explained, unable to see her in the eyes.
"Who... who pays for all this if Sicheng's parents aren't here?" she asked curiously.
Jaehyun sighed; "For the first few months, my boss covered part of the monthly fee, until suddenly he stopped doing it. Since then, I've been taking care of it."
The girl's expression was one of surprise.
"How do you do it?"
"That’s the reason I'm in the business that I'm in," he replied, changing his gaze to her, being able to see directly into her eyes and causing her to feel a shiver run through her body.
There was something about those bruised eyes that had done something to her.
"It must be hard," the girl said in a murmur.
Jaehyun snorted and nodded slowly. He hated being seen in his less tough character. The only person he allowed himself to be like that with was Lucas... or Winwin. And for a stranger to see him like that... made his blood boil.
"You know? Winwin loved dancing," Jaehyun said, smiling sideways as the memory came to his mind.
That fact wasn't strange for (Y/N), she remembers seeing Winwin at the school theater... the only boy from Neo Zone who was part of the dance team. She didn't even know how he had managed that, but he must have been good if the Kwangya students allowed him to be in the group.
"Now nobody knows if he'll be able to do it again," Jaehyun continued. "Winwin was the only one of all of us who really had a future, he wasn't even a gang member... he hadn't even gone through his initiation, and look how he ended up."
(Y/N) swallowed.
"Mark Lee is no longer friends with you, right?" The girl asked curiously.
"Things got complicated with him after the accident."
The brunette fell silent for a moment and then shifted her body to face him.
“Haven't you thought about looking for another alternative?” she questioned again “You know? If you let me help you, maybe I could get you a position at my father's company and...”
“Shh. I think I've told you it's not that easy.”
“ But it could be” she insisted.
Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head as he looked away from her.
“I not only have to cover this quota, I also have to bring money home, for my mom and for Jeno. It's the easiest way to get what I need” he confessed “besides, I told you once... in Neo Zone there's no way out, once you're in, you're in forever.”
The tattoos on his neck were what sentenced him to a miserable life forever.
But as long as that miserable life helped to ease the pain and managed to make Sicheng return to who he was, it would be worth it.
“It doesn't have to be like this” she murmured, focusing on her own hands.
"You don't know what it's like to be part of this," he countered in a low voice.
How had they opened up to have such a conversation so suddenly?
The girl felt her lip tremble as she remembered the scene she had witnessed minutes earlier in that room, and she couldn't help but think about how it would feel to lose a loved one in such a way... knowing that physically they were present, but mentally they weren't there.
(Y/N) had always had a heart easy to move, but she really never believed that Jung Jaehyun would be able to achieve that.
"Is that why you insist on continuing school?" she asked, looking at him again.
"Students are my best clients," he replied with a half smile.
(Y/N) didn't know how to take that.
She closed her eyes for a moment and then said, "I can help you with a few more assignments," she assured. "But only for a while and in my own way. But, I don't want you to involve me in any of the problems you're in, it will only be school matters. I don't want to be associated with anything you do, if anything you do is enough to help Sicheng, I'll try not to question it."
Jaehyun couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"If that helps you help me and me stay in school..." he paused "...I might be willing."
"What's the reason for your change of heart?"
"Because if I were in the same situation as you, I would also want someone to somehow help me," she replied, hugging herself.
The boy nodded with a half-smile, and without further ado, he started the car.
"Only school matters," Jaehyun confirmed.
She definitely didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.
______________________________________________
The day after the visit to the National Rehabilitation Center, something happened that made (Y/N) unable to concentrate enough during class hours. Her mind kept going back to the place over and over again, but how horrible was the situation the boy was in. One day you're capable, and the next... not even being able to move. How could anyone endure that?
At some point in the morning, during the physics period, her mind was spinning, her leg moving anxiously, and she bit her lips. She tried to erase the conversation she and Jaehyun had had the day before a thousand times and tried to erase the image of Winwin in that room.
But it was impossible.
Just when she thought she had succeeded, the image returned immediately.
She hated being someone who cared too much about things.
Because she knew something wasn't right with her when she found herself in front of the doors of the Rehabilitation Center.
Her coat shielded her from the cold breeze on that day, and as she clutched her bag to her, she didn't think anymore and entered the place.
She felt a little out of place when she entered the center, but after a few minutes, a presence came in front of her.
"Hello, good morning," the nurse greeted her. "Oh, you're the girl who accompanied Jaehyun yesterday, right?" She asked in confusion.
The girl smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm Hwang (Y/N). I'm Jaehyun's classmate... and Winwin's."
"How nice of you to visit us... are you here to see Winwin? It's rare to see someone come for him other than Lucas or Jaehyun," confessed the nurse.
"Um, yes... I could say I'm here for a visit," the girl smiled. "But, to be honest... yesterday I overheard a bit of his conversation with Jaehyun... I know Winwin's payment is delayed this month."
"Yes, usually Jaehyun finds a way to pay on time," she sighed. "But this month it's been delayed for a few weeks, and if I'm honest, I've been doing everything I can to keep Winwin from being discharged."
The girl nodded and asked, "Do you think Winwin's treatment will still take time?"
"I can't answer that accurately," admitted the nurse. "It's all a matter of Winwin's will, but to be honest, right now he has no will at all, so far as we're concerned, and if the payment continues to be monthly... he could spend another half a year here."
The girl understood the situation, and although she would like to think more about it... she didn't, so she didn't even know when she blurted out those words: "Is there any way I can pay for the next six months?"
The nurse's eyes widened with surprise, and she looked at the girl with enthusiasm. "Are you serious?"
"Yes," she replied. "I would like to help one of my classmates as long as I can. Money is not a problem," she confessed.
"Wow... thank you, i really appreciate that. Winwin is a boy with a lot of potential from what we know, and although we're sad that we haven't made the progress we want, we know that someday he will leave through that door better," (Y/N) smiled nostalgically.
"I just need to ask you something," the brunette confessed. "Could you not tell Jaehyun that I've paid?" she questioned.
"I don't know if it's easy to lie to someone like Jaehyun," the nurse laughed. "But since it's something good you've done... I'll try," the nurse walked to the desk with (Y/N) behind her. "(Y/N)?" She called and paid attention. "I know there may be many things about Jaehyun... but he's a good guy... beneath all that facade; he really has something good."
Those words hammered in her head. "Thank you."
_____________________________________________
(Y/N) reviewed the same line of text she had read five times now on some molasses topic. Trying to understand the topic deeply.
The air coming lightly through one of the library windows was enough for her to try to hug herself to take warmth, read a bit from the physics books on the table, and impatiently move her leg.
She didn't know at what exact moment a tall figure stood in front of her, but what she did know was that that person didn't seem very happy.
"Why did you do it?" Jaehyun let out while looking directly at her.
"I don't know what you're talking about," (Y/N) replied while looking at her book attentively.
"I know you know. I thought I told you I don't need your money," Jaehyun repeated with annoyance.
"I still don't know what you're talking about," the girl stopped seeing her book and changed her gaze to the boy.
"Don't play with me," the boy exclaimed exasperatedly. "Why did I went to the center today and they told me Winwin's treatment has been paid for the next six months?"
The girl shrugged. "It could have been your boss."
"My boss doesn't give a shit about Winwin!" Exclaimed the boy. "I told you I didn't need your money, I was clear, I don't want to owe anything to anyone from Kwangya."
"You don't need to pay me back," the girl assured, standing up in front of Jaehyun. "With the money you'll save from that, you'll be able to sell less."
"It seems you don't understand a fucking thing!" Jaehyun raised your arms with annoyance. "Paying or not paying for Sicheng's treatment, it doesn't change the fact that I sell drugs!" The boy explained regardless of where they were; they were lucky the library wasn't being occupied by other people.
"Everyone starts somewhere!" the girl attacked. "I just wanted to take a weight off your shoulders."
Jaehyun scoffed and looked at her with a sarcastic smile.
"Why? I don't need your pity! If you hadn't accompanied me yesterday, you'd still be thinking Winwin had moved to China! You didn't give a fucking damn even when he was your classmate!"
(Y/N) started gathering her things and putting them in her backpack.
"Saying thank you would have been enough, Jaehyun!" the girl remarked. "I know you can do better with your life," she murmured as she turned to look at him.
Jaehyun's blood was boiling; he hated when people interfered in his life, as if he didn't already have enough to deal with.
"You don't know anything about me! You said it yourself; we're not even friends," he retorted.
"And what if I want to get to know you better?" the girl exclaimed without thinking. They both fell silent, staring into each other's eyes. (Y/N) didn't even want to say those words, but she did.
She couldn't deny that Jung Jaehyun was intriguing. She didn't know why. She didn't know why she had been avoiding him for weeks, but since that night at Neo Zone, when they had talked about the deal, she knew it would be difficult to shake him off, and when she had... something inside her wanted them to meet again. Why are things so difficult? They are two different people from different backgrounds; why would she suddenly be interested in him? Was it because she saw him vulnerable the day before? Or was it because she believed there was something good in him, just like the nurse had said?
She must be crazy to think like that.
"You really don't want to do it," Jaehyun said with a bit more calmness.
"I know you can get out out of that hole, Jaehyun."
"Winwin's parents tried, and look how that ended up!" he exclaimed. "There's no way out in Neo Zone, get that through your head," he explained. "There's nothing good about me. I don't even know why you think so, just because yesterday you saw something different or because I drove you home a couple of times, doesn't mean you know everything about me!"
"Stop acting like a fucking jerk."
"Like a jerk? This is reality! Your act of charity isn't going to change my life. I was born a dealer, and that's how my life will end!"
"I really believe there's something good in you."
"Well, keep believing it."
"If you ever feel grateful, you know where to find me," the girl said, gathering her things and walking out of the library.
Jaehyun cursed under his breath and shook his hands in frustration. In just a few days, the girl had managed to push his buttons faster than anyone else from Neo Zone.
But when he saw her walk out the door, why did he feel regret for lashing out at her?
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The week had been slow this time. (Y/N) and Jaehyun had been avoiding each other like the plague, not even looking at each other when they crossed paths in the hallway. For the girl, it seemed like childish behavior, especially coming from Jaehyun and his usual façade; now he seemed nothing more than someone throwing a tantrum after she only wanted to help him.
But she still thought she really wanted to get to know him better.
What was behind his façade? What was it that made him who he was? Not the boy from Neo Zone, not the dealer everyone knew... who was Jeong Jaehyun really?
That question had been on her mind for weeks, and it disappointed her a bit to know that she might never know the answers to those doubts she had about the boy.
Today was warm compared to the weather last week. The sun was shining brightly, and luckily for (Y/N), her mother had decided to return her car. So her day had started off on the right foot, and hoping for a good day, she took the opportunity to stop by her favorite coffee shop in Kwangya. Ordering her usual vanilla latte and just before it was time to pay, a thought invaded her mind, and after debating it internally, she decided to follow her thoughts.
An hour and a half later, when she was the last one to leave her physics class, someone blocked her path at the classroom door. Holding her book to her chest, after the unexpected startle, she looked ahead to find no one but Jaehyun. Who stood silently in front of her, with the same leather jacket he used to wear, the same combination of marijuana and vanilla scent, and with the same enchanting eyes, that she had just noticed.
She was in dangerous territory.
And she knew it.
"I need to go to my next class, Jaehyun," the girl said shortly.
For a few seconds, the boy in front of her didn't say anything, he just watched her, until he sighed and slowly said, "Thank you."
Short and to the point, he didn't say anything else, and that was enough to make (Y/N)'s heart flutter in a thousand ways.
"For the coffee," the boy finished. "And for the notes."
"I did my part, I told you I would help you," said (Y/N) as she fiddled with her fingers.
"I thought you wouldn't after the last time we met," Jaehyun confessed.
"I'm sticking to that."
A small silence ensued. Two people face to face. With thousands of doubts between them and things to resolve. What had drawn them together? How was it that the universe managed to put two completely different people in the same place?
"Did you mean it?" Jaehyun asked, and when he noticed that (Y/N) didn't understand what he meant, he continued. "About wanting to get to know me more."
(Y/N) swallowed hard and looking him in the eyes, nodded.
"I still believe there's something good in you."
"Why?"
"I don't know yet," she replied honestly. "And it's killing me. A while ago, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with you, not even to cross paths, but now, I don't know what's changed, but every time I try to stay away, it's like something brings me back here," she confessed, leaving Jaehyun speechless, who just watched her, trying to decipher everything she was saying.
It was killing him too.
"Let's go to my car," he said.
"Huh?" she asked, confused.
"You want to know more about me, then get in my car," he said again, this time making his way to the parking lot, with (Y/N) behind him, who didn't say a single word, just followed his lead.
What was he doing?
When they reached the car, Jaehyun opened the passenger door, causing (Y/N) to get in without protesting. Then Jaehyun got into the driver's seat and without further ado, started the engine. She didn't know what was happening or what would happen next, but right now she could only trust Jaehyun.
Even though she didn't know how bad an idea that might be.
A few minutes later, as they had traveled a long distance, (Y/N) noticed they were approaching Neo Zone, and with her eyes wide open, she panicked.
"This is me," Jaehyun said out of nowhere, catching the girl's attention. "See all these streets? This is where I belong. This is what I am," he explained carefully.
(Y/N) looked out the window, a couple of people smoking on the sidewalk, others passing joints, and other silent streets. The houses weren't that big... rather, they looked cramped. Unlike what she was used to, to her lifestyle, this didn't seem like it would be enough for a family.
But what did she know with the privilege she had?
"I grew up here, this is what I know," he commented. "Most people are born and die here, it's something that seems to be already written," he continued as his car slowed down. "Those of us from here have a different perspective on life... people from Kwangya lives for the money... we live to survive, and although it's getting harder and harder, we manage to do it," the car finally stopped, and still looking out the window, (Y/N) saw a small house in front of them. One story, not much to describe or point out, it was small but for some reason, it looked cozy.
(Y/N) changed her gaze to Jaehyun, who was still looking ahead and spoke.
"Is this your house?"
Jaehyun nodded.
(Y/N) smiled softly.
"Would you invite me in?"
______________________________________________
He doesn't know how (Y/N) managed to have an effect on him, but now they were there, inside his little house, (Y/N) carefully examining the walls around them and analyzing every aspect of the small space.
He was grateful there were no one at home.
"It looks cozy," (Y/N) said as she looked at one of the frames hanging on the wall.
"I guess it's not even a third of your house," Jaehyun assured to (Y/N).
“And no matter how many people are there, it always feels lonely," she confessed. "It's like no one leaves anything there, like it's something unimportant. As if it's not a home," she finished.
Jaehyun looked at her gently, and as she looked around, thousands of things went through his mind.
"To be honest with you," the girl spoke. "I see more vibes from Jeno in this house than yours," she said. "Many things here seem related to Jeno... but I don't see many things related to you..." she continued. "It's like you don't even think about staying here for long."
"I don't plan on leaving Neo Zone," Jaehyun asserted, crossing his arms.
"Don't you want a different future?"
"There's no future for me," Jaehyun pointed out. "And if there were, I'd prefer to give it to Jeno. He has much more to live for than I do."
"You also have a life to live. A future to write, you can change what is today, for something better," (Y/N) turned around to face the boy.
"I have no way out," the boy replied. "Do you think this is easy? After seeing my dad die and doing everything my bosses ask me to do no matter what. Taking care of my mom, Jeno, and now Winwin? Huh? Making sure Winwin becomes who he was again and that my brother doesn't end up being a fucking addict are enough reasons for me not to leave here," Jaehyun concluded, getting dangerously close to her, with a few centimeters separating them.
The words echoed in her head strongly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't pity me," Jaehyun said under his breath.
"It's not that. It's just that every time I think about all this and now that I see your place and I don't see anything that seems to belong to you, it makes me think that's what you're looking for, to belong to something and leave here as soon as there's an opportunity,"
Jaehyun looked directly at her, not knowing what to say. And afraid to think that maybe she was right.
Because yes, maybe he wanted to get out of there, along with his mom, Jeno, and Winwin; maybe he wanted to do something with his life that wasn't illegal, but what was the point of thinking about it when he knew he wouldn't make it? He was afraid to admit that he wanted to be able to change things, to be able to make his family okay, that no shadow from the past would follow them, that they would have a place where they could forge a clean and safe future.
"This has never been about what I want," Jaehyun commented with a future. "Since I was born, everything around me was the gang. After my father's death, I knew what was coming, and I knew I would never be able to get out of it. It doesn’t matter what I want. It matter what my boss wants, he has that kind of power, no one below him has their own decision. The whole life of Neo Zone is ruled by him," he concluded, even closer to her.
(Y/N) looked him in the eyes, her breath uncontrolled. Her chest heaved, and her hands were sweating.
"What do you want, Jaehyun?" she whispered.
The boy paused for a moment and looked at her lips.
"Now?" he asked, and she nodded. "Would it be unrealistic to say that I want to kiss you?"
"How realistic would it be to say that I want you to do it?
She didn't even finish the question because Jaehyun's lips collided firmly with hers. The boy's long hands slid through (Y/N)'s soft hair, her hair smelling of lavender shampoo. He gently covered her cheek with one of his rough hands, and she melted into the touch.
It wasn't a hurried kiss, as (Y/N) thought it would be; actually, Jaehyun was taking the time to savor every passing second. As if this moment would disappear at any minute and he wanted to hold onto it.
Was he looking for something to belong to?
His hand moved from her cheek to her waist, and she took the opportunity to press her body against his and release a moan of pleasure. As if she felt complete leaning against Jaehyun's warmth.
As if it was something they both longed for for a long time.
And even though she wanted to continue with the act, they were severely interrupted when a car horn sounded incessantly outside the house, causing them to separate with tremendous confusion. (Y/N)'s red cheeks were enough to make Jaehyun's heart race, but when he heard another horn, he took her hand and they walked outside in hurry.
And then, there was Jeno, being thrown out of the back of a car, blood streaming from a cut on his eyebrow, bruises scattered all over his body, and falling firmly to the ground after being thrown.
"I want this to be the last time your brother sets foot in our zone. Next time it won't be him we throw," the familiar voice of a boy from the opposing gang spoke up. Chris. Who was with the window down and smiling maliciously. "Neither will it be you, Jung. It will be the girl who will end up like this,"
Jaehyun moved abruptly from his place to try to reach the car, but it left as fast as it could, (Y/N) shocked to hear those words, didn't do anything more than approach Jeno to help him up. Then Jaehyun cursed under his breath and looked into the distance at the girl and her brother together.
And his chest tightened as he realized that now, she too had been involved.
And he believed there was no turning back, because she was right... Jaehyun wanted to belong to something.
But how selfish would it be to belong to (Y/N)?
a/n: well now you know what happened to Winwin TT. Once again I’m sorry if this took too long I promise I’ll try to update sooner this time!
taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)
taglist: @spicyryujin @kriizztin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae
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literallyangeldust · 22 hours
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heyyyyy, i’ve read your stuff and i’m literally in love 😍
could you possibly write a angel dust x male reader where angel is struggling after a rough day working with valentino and meets reader at a bar where he works. angel is like lowkey whipped for reader bc he’s like really nice, so he keeps coming back, and eventually reader asks angel out on a date, which confuses him bc he’s not used to people actually liking him for him. and then they fall in love and reader fucks up valentino so he leaves angel alone or something.
sorry this is long as hell, feel free to tweak it and change as you want, i just need more angel so bad 😭
જ⁀➴ Angel Dust x male reader ๋࣭ ⭑
summary: you ask angel out! <3
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˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Details: ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
๋࣭ ⭑ Request: requested :D
๋࣭ ⭑ TW: none!
๋࣭ ⭑ Word Count: 261
๋࣭ ⭑ Timeline: after episode 8
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🕷️ - angel had a horrible day and wanted nothing more than to pass out but val had asked him to get more money by visiting a club and picking some rich fucker up. so here he was at a random club in a booth just people watching. soon his eyes landed on the bartender, aka you.
💗 - he thought you were quite pretty and decided to approach you and plopped in the seat in front of you.
“hey toots your a snack~”
“pffft nice to meet you to”
🕷️ - soon he started visiting over and over again. you two got pretty close and soon you asked him out. he was very confused at first. you love him? but after he got over his shock he decided to give it a try. once your dating the visits become more frequent.
💗 - he becomes very clingy and will just visit to have a conversation with you, he also tries to get you to move into the hotel with him. he wants to see you all the time! he also will rant about valentino to you well you work. you feel bad for him but there's not much you could do.
HELP I WROTE THESE AND THEN THEY FUCKING DISAPPEARED!!! so if they are bad that is why cause I was not happy and was so over it so apologies
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Angel walked into the club he's been too many times now. He searched with his eyes till he spotted you working behind the bar and walked up plopping in front of you. “Hey sugar!” he said as he smirked at you and smiled playfully. “Hey Angie.” you made him his favorite drink which you've memorized by now. You slid it across the bar to him and he gladly picked it up. “So toots what's been up with you?” you shrug. “Nothing much, you know I've actually been wanting to talk to you about something.” you set your rag down and he looks up at you curiously sipping his drink. “What's up babe?” you fidget with your hands. “Um.. I actually am in love with you, I have been for a while. I know your struggle with relationships because of Val but I'd be honored if you let me love you.” Angel blushed at this, he was shocked. You love him? Like actually love him and don't just want his body? To be honest he was quite scared.
He sat there thinking for a while. He trusted you so he sighed and smiled at you. “I'll take a chance.” you smile at that and reach for his hands before pausing. “Can I hold your hand?” Angel looks confused. People never ask for consent from him, especially for something like holding hands. Angel just nods and you take his hands with a smile. He smiles back and you stay like that for a long time. Angel finally found someone who really loves him.
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sorry for how short it is! I have 8 angel requests rn so I'm trying my best here fnfnsks
notes are appreciated!! d(・∀・)b
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ask-funnybunnydoll · 20 hours
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Hi!
I think I have to move on.
You may have noticed that all of a sudden my posts have become less and less frequent. That's not on purpose I simply don't have the motivation to keep this ask blog going. I made this blog at the peak of my TADC hyperfixation because I knew it would give me the boost to work. At the start I made like, what? 2 a day, wowzas! Then it became like every other day posts. It's not that I don't enjoy the blog, the ship, the asks. Hell, the asks were the best part of this, I love just seeing what you guys come up with for these three and I get to do the even more fun part of drawing the answer.
But I still have no motivation to keep this going. And I have fixated on something else if you follow my main.
So, thank you for being here and still liking my posts even if I hadn't posted often. This was the most fun I've had and being my first ask blog I ever created just makes it more important to me.
I probably won't ever revive this blog but I'll keep it open for you. And if you want to see what the story I originally planned out was gonna be then check below the cut! Or if you wanna stay curious and theorize then just scroll by. Thank you again, hope ya have a great day and year. I hope my shit was at least okay to you.
I'm not gonna lie. Most of the stuff was just created along the way of drawing. I was like, huh this would be cool let's add that in. And ofc I didn't get to any juicy lore in this but it would've been rushed because I didn't plan beforehand... which you probably could tell xd
For Pomni, here's the plot twist: she's dead and her conscience was updated into the game to keep her somewhat alive. She worked in the place that created the game, she even took part in putting people in there. The entire game was just an expirement to test if immortality was possible, but of course.. everyone goes insane in there so they have to keep on and keep on trying with more and more people to get anywhere. They wait until someone goes to edge of absolute insanity and that's when they take them out of the game, their bodies are still kept alive and they go back to normal. They forget everything that happened while in the game. For Pomni she died just after her conscience was converted to the game, for others they were forced to go while alive. Who killed Pomni? Well, her boss, the head of the experimentation. Why? Idk 😭
For Jax, I gave him a dark story. He was isolated in his home and kept away from the outside world, which is why he lacks empathy, because he simply doesn't know how to feel that way when he never really had knowledge of emotions outside or even inside his home. His father was emotionally and physically ab4sive so.. that didn't help. He latched onto his mother the most but they never saw eachother often. That's all I had for him in mind.
For Ragatha, she lived in the country on her own land with her husband. Yup! She had a husband and a daughter too. Husband was a total jerk and she couldn't leave because she didn't want their kid to experience separated parents. She's a doll in the game because it resembles the doll she made for her daughter.
I also had some plot that I made up in my mind. Like.... Pomni at the end would be the last one alone in the digital circus. That being since she's dead she would just be yknow. Dead if she left the game. Jax and Ragatha leave but only because Pomni forces them. Again don't know how, I probably would have made it up while I went along with the story. So, Pomni is just there alone, with Caine. And she lives like that for eternity. She doesn't go insane anymore and it isn't as lonely as it used to feel like. It would feel like home kind of. But she would be there, longing for her partners forever unless she decides one day to just. Yknow, die..
Also since Jax and Ragatha would forget everything after they leave the game, they just don't remember they were in a relationship and would live their lives like before. Sad and lonely.
Goodness, I forget I make the most sad stories ever sometimes 😭
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cocogum · 16 hours
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I hope I get to see Amalia’s hair let down just once in the manga.
Ever since the ovas released, her hair has always been at a medium length and tied up in a ponytail so I just want her to let go of it every once and a while you know? I don’t wanna see her always tying it up.
Also is it just me or did you also notice how her hair grew a bit more in the manga? The cover which reveals the release date for the first episode shows her hair looking longer than in the series right??
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RIGHT??? IM NOT SEEING THINGS RIGHT???
Her hair in Season 4 looks a bit shorter!! I heard that the manga happens after four months? So maybe that’s why her hair looks longer cuz a few months passed.
JUST LOOK AT THE HAIR LENGHT DIFFERENCE!!!
PLEASE let me see a moment where she takes her ponytail off!! 😫😫😫 It can be for any reason like all you need to do is show her in a panel where she doesn’t have her hair tied up and that’s it, please! She’s so cute, I miss the days where she used to have her hair let loose and wore a flower on her head 😭😭
You can even show her sleeping with Yugo on their bed without the hair tie too just saying 💕💕
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olivianyx · 2 days
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Hey babe, I'm not going for my sad story but I struggled for 2 years ,it's not like success story but Now I have friends, my family I'm feeling good. My others thinks are also perfect. But all I want is to enter void coz I want my perfect dream life so bad , but I have really packed schedule for my school , please tell me something At night I get really tired And slept .
I really want to enter void
OKAY THIS IS FOR EVERYONE TRYING TO (BECOMING AWARE OF) ENTER THE VOID STATE
Heyy! Sorry for the late response 😭😭 school's beating up my ass as well.
Okay, the overrated void community here. So as I always say, void isn't difficult. It's easy as fuck and you always enter it while you fall asleep. Only thing you gotta do is be AWARE in the void.
Well that's where everyone over complicates it. Just become AWARE. Ik it's instant for some people, while some take patience, practice and consistency to enter the void.
Well this applies for the people who take action (action in the sense changing the story they focus on), discipline themselves and do whatever consistently.
And not to the people who know all the info and still choose to complain or procrastinate. Well I don't blame you for being this way, since you're programmed to be this way since childhood, and it's not your fault. But, it's your fault if you know it, and don't program it the way you want it to be.
So I'll be going to give you sone tips that everyone and anyone can use.
TIP NO. 1
SELF CONCEPT
I won't stop mentioning this in my posts. IT'S THE KEY TO MANIFESTING. YOU'RE LITERALLY CHANGING YOURSELF TO SEE THE CHANGE OUTSIDE! I recommend reading @/meraskii posts on Instagram, she explains self concept better than I do, and she's got a challenge you can try it for yourself. I recommend watching these YouTubers
Rita Kaminski
Dylan James
Sammy Ingram
Hyler
Kim Velez
Indigo Detry
Manifesting with Kimberly
Manifest it, finesse it
Electrasoul
They're excellent coaches, you can watch their videos. All of their videos changes your lives!
TIP NO. 2
Read COPY OF ROTTEN'S PRACTICAL GUIDE TO SHIFTING REALITIES
Here's, she explains very well of the infamous FOCUS 10 STATE, which is nothing but MIND AWAKE, BODY ASLEEP state. Try using Monroe's gateway tapes, she's linked it in the guide herself. Follow her instructions. It's really good to use it at the night time especially. But don't use it if you're really tired that you fall asleep when you hit your head at the pillow. Use it when you're more relaxed and not tired.
Use it till you effortlessly enter the focus 10. Again don't ask me 'hOw LoNg Do YoU tHiNk It TaKeS?' Tf?? Like literally, people don't understand the meaning of living in the end??? Like fulfill it this moment and fucking let go. For some people, because of their mindset might get into focus 10 in one listen or one try. Others may get it in a week, in a month, and longer. So have patience. Have some self discipline, and maintain consistency. It's like practicing to play piano. You won't get how to play it in one try, you'll practice it everyday until you get it. The same concept. Get your lazy ass up and go do it. Practice this now, for an eternity of bliss.
Like you know how useful this focus 10 is?? Like you can shift realities, get into the void, manifest whatever the fuck you want and so on. It's literally wonderful.
When you can get into focus 10 effortlessly, you can go to advanced focus 10 tape. There's proper instructions in the guide. Get your lazy complaining ass go through the guide once (compulsorily!) since she's mentioned many things you never know you needed.
After you practice with these gateway tapes, and you're perfectly in a state where you can get that BODY ASLEEP MIND AWAKE state, you're good to enter the void with this state!
TIP NO. 3
Enter the void! And fucking go live your dream life! I wanna see y'alls success stories.
- Olivia 🤍
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psuedosugu · 2 days
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Highschool Suguru taking care of sick reader with high fever and a sore throat (me rn 😭) <333
He feeds,coddles and bathes her like the sweet caring guy he is 🥰
lol i wish someone would take care of me while im sick 😞😞😞😭
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୨୧・suguru quietly stepped into your dorm which you had again forgotten to lock (he would have to scold you for that later), and looked around the slightly messy room.
୨୧・he was met with your sickly looking self laying in bed, tissues scattered all around you.
୨୧・noticing him in your room, you shot up. “suguru…? what are you- a-choo!” you sneezed hard, eyes starting to water. your voice was scratchy and weak.
୨୧・”you weren’t in class today and i, uh, i got worried.” he knew it was irrational to be worried just because you were missing school for a day but you can’t blame him, he’s just too used to knowing where you are!
୨୧・”so you’re skipping for me?” you asked. suguru usually tried not to miss out on classes, he was a model student, afterall.
୨୧・”well, yeah.” he frowned at the state you were in, stepping closer to feel your forehead. yep, definitely a fever. “have you taken any tylenol yet?” you nod. “im gonna make you some tea, okay?” he says. you manage out a small “okay”.
୨୧・he prepares the tea, just how you like it, and brings it to you, placing it on your bedside table at hands reach.
୨୧・”you poor thing,” he coos, brushing the hair out of your face. “we’re gonna take you a shower, okay?” you nod as you feel him pull you up and into his arms, carrying you bridal style into the bathroom.
୨୧・he helps you wriggle out of your clothes and into the bathtub.
୨୧・you shiver as he turns on the tap, the water cold at first but soon becoming a comforting warm temperature. suguru suds up your loofa using your favorite vanilla bodywash which drives him insane when you wear it (unbeknownst to you, he bought himself a bottle of the same stuff, along with that perfume you always wear around him so that he can smell you all the time, even when you’re away on missions.)
୨୧・he scrubs your body so gently that you feel like you might fall asleep to his touch, and he smiles at how precious you look.
୨୧・he finishes bathing you and dries off your body, then finding you some comfy clothes for you to wear.
୨୧・you’re so….exhausted, you practically throw yourself onto the bed, burrowing into the soft blanket. suguru slides in next to you.
୨୧・”…suguu….you’re gonna get sick too…” “shhh…ill be okay.”
୨୧・he does have a pretty good immune system, so you two spend the rest of the day in bed together, suguru holding you close to his chest, your legs intertwined in his, and you start to think that maybe you don’t mind being sick if it means you get to spend time with him like this.
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mattodore · 3 months
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ria, pack leader of three
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akkivee · 3 months
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it is time. stage bat time 😌:
hirono ryouta
hirONO RYOUTA
HIRONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RYOUTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that’s it that’s the post lmao /j
i’ve btched plenty about kuukou’s writing in the stage but had hirono-san not been at the helm i highly doubt i would have cared for stage bat as much as i do lmao
i’ve fairly recently talked about how he defined the way kuukou moves in auxiliary media and how it brought to life how i envisioned he moved but it bears repeating hirono-san gave me everything and more lmao
like i still think about kuukou stalking up on some guy in track 3, twirling his mic and actually using it as a bludgeoning weapon with utter glee lol he’s so violent 💜
i love love love the feedback loop that quietly goes on behind the scenes with kuukou’s actors lmao
hirono-san mentioned in their cross talk that hayama-san’s 5th live performance was a frame of reference for the kuukou audition iirc, hayama-san a few years later during the 9th live imitated the way hirono-san used to bow as kuukou after nurusara’s division rep battle, and the bat actors took the bat seiyuu’s very cute 9th live blunder, missing their cue to introduce themselves in sync, and owned bat’s chaos by introducing themselves with their individual quirks in their rep live lol
lol during that cross talk, hirono-san mentioned he was endlessly amused by kuukou being tied up and angrily trying to talk in bat’s first drama track and i’m very happy he got to live it for himself after being tied up by dohifu in bat vs mtr lmao
still cracks me up dohifu had their very gay my home duet and kuukou literally went ‘REALLY???? IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?????’ lmao
i’ve been trying my hardest to talk around stage kuukou’s writing but personal bangers despite are!!!!!
him trying to fight jakurai and when the man passed out without kuukou even doing anything he went, ‘bruh🧍‍♂️’!!!!!!!! him getting in hifumi’s face after being called out for his shitty attitude!!!!! him playing the bad guy to bring hitoya and jakurai together!!!!!!
kuukou: *points* HITOYA!!!!!!
kuukou: *points again* JYOOSH!!!!!!
i wish i was normal about bat’s rep live lol like while we may suspect that performance was borne out of his looming graduation, hirono-san snapped off that last remaining chain of sanity and went crazy lol
i think about him butting heads and screaming at kenta-san, one of the ddb guys who is probably the only one who could match that energy lmao, the roaring growing in frequency until he held up his jacket, nagoya side out, and yelling, ‘NAGOYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!’ until he blacked out on stage all the time 😭😭😭
other moments from the rep live i think about lol is that skit where hitoya totally scams kuukou and jyushi lmao but when hitoya told them the statue they ‘broke’ cost like 1000000¥ or some outrageous amount, kuukou started retching and that’s so relatable LOL
and that moment during the host club invasion where he walks in and goes ‘sup btches it’s been a while 😈’ and proceeds to destroy fragrance LOL
and him stuffing like four marshmallows at once in his mouth, expecting to be able to continue being able to speak lmao
and him going so hard his rings flew off and an unplanned mini encore happened as he tried to look for them LOL
saw a report that they were going stoopid one day during their rep live run the crowd was unwilling to let them go so hirono-san convinced the producers to let them do another encore on top of the several they already had 😭😭😭
and can you believe the hype never stopped even when bat wasn’t the focal point lol i heard that man at one point needed to be dragged off the stage during bop2023 bc he staunchly said they’d have to dim the lights on him for him to stop😭😭😭😭
there’s so so many bop2023 moments i think about like his redux rock paper scissors game, or him lifting up sasara only to drop him a second later lmao, him bullying stage posse LOL, the way they let him bring the hype whenever music lulled
and ofc the nb duet lol if the stage doesn’t want to do much by way of ichiro and kuukou’s relationship, thank fck hirono-san was there to carry lmao
crying over that one day when neither ichiro nor kuukou could catch their shared coke bottle to save their lives and kept laughing at each other while performing 😭😭😭😭😭
thank you hirono-san for establishing into stage canon kuukou dropped his bandana at ichiro’s feet after their breakup and that ichiro still has kuukou’s red bandana somewhere. it may not stick but that’s such an amazing take on that bandana’s whereabouts
daigo-san’s jyushi is so BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
THE top line i always think about is him joyfully walking into hitoya’s office in bat’s rep live and going, ‘hitoya-san!!!!! i’ve come to play!!!!! 😃😃😃’
previously that had been me crying anytime i thought about him skipping into hitoya’s office in track 3, cheerfully calling for him only to switch mid sentence into vkei mode once he noticed hitoya has guests lmao
his kuukou impersonation is legendary no joke lmao
AND SO IS ANY MOMENT WHERE HE PICKS KUUKOU UP LONG CAT STYLE SHOUT OUT TO BOP2023 SPECIFICALLY WHEN HE SWUNG HIM AROUND A LITTLE BIT TOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
that’s the second most bat moment i think about lol
i like how sometimes daigo-san’s default jyushi expression is the equivalent of this lol
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another top moment i think about is him yelling how much he loves kuukou and hitoya during bop2023 😭😭😭
especially when you think about those early days of bat???? his first stage role ever was track 3 and he talked about learning the ropes from ruito-san, late night train rides with hirono-san after rehearsals and sharing his insecurities, bonding with them both despite the two of them being shy and UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
like I COULD CRY about daigo-san incessantly commenting under hirono-san’s posts after track 3 and finally hirono-san went, ‘bro what gives???’ and daigo-san went, ‘i’m trying to be your friend lol’ 😭😭😭😭😭😭
all that bonding culminated to a point daigo-san can make fun hirono-san in his most trying hours lol (he lost a lot of money gambling LOL)
forever haunted by him commenting he and sakakihara-san had an in depth conversation about jyushi after track 3 and we never had them in the same room 😭😭😭😭
i also think about this one report i read where hitoya and kuukou were beefing as they usually do so he sat himself aside and lol when kuukou asked him why’s he sitting over there he responded, ‘well i didn’t want to get in the way of your flirting 😒’ LOL
jyushi being hitoya’s (current) number one fanboy is my canon lol so i’m happy he got a whole solo about hitoya lol
another top moment i think about is jyushi dramatically crying he’s going to die alone in shinjuku because he got separated from kuukou lmao
will forever and always be bitter the mtc rep live with bat as guests wasn’t available for stream so we missed kuukou bullying samatoki by repeating everything he said, kuukou and jyushi getting chased around by juto and rio while samatoki and hitoya waffled (and samatoki oogled hitoya’s body lmao) and jyushi got arrested by juto so he started crying for kuukou who came out asking what was wrong as he piggybacked rio LOL
idk if you can tell but i like stage jyushi lol he’s very funny
both hirono-san and daigo-san are so down bad for ruito-san it’s so funny but i don’t blame them LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM LOL
it’s so funny to see it bleed into their kuukou and jyushi like we ain’t ever getting over them essentially grinding up on him during one of bat’s songs in track 3 LOL
ruito-san is too peak for hitoya frfr lol ain’t no way we’ll get another hitoya who can do synchronised backflips with kuukou 😭😭😭😭😭😭
i almost forgot lol hirono-san commented that after track 3, he got stuck calling himself ‘sessou,’ kuukou’s personal pronoun lol, and similarly, ruito-san has a hard time not touching his chin like hitoya does LOL
stage hitoya is fascinating, simply bc of how much more adjusted he is than canon hitoya lol
like i cannot stress enough how the best morally grey hitoya was written when he scammed kuukou and jyushi into doing good deeds and favours for him lmao
since he’s so well adjusted, some of his and kuukou’s heart to heart changed in execution, but it was neat seeing him call out kuukou for assuming people can be effortlessly strong like him, and have that thought come back when he’s facing jakurai
idk if i have a preference between the stage vs canon on how they resolved hitoya’s and sensei’s relationship but i still think the stage absolutely cooked lol
will always be crying over kuukou’s jakurai impersonation lol and how he revealed it by teasing hitoya for having a date but kuukou apparently got the details wrong so he confidently corrected him that they had gone out for strawberry milkshakes
and fanboy jyushi fell to his knees crying how cute that was, he gets it LOL
there’s this motion stage hitoya does in his courtroom solo i think, where he stands with perfect posture and tilts his arms that makes him look like a scale ⚖️ and it’s so good lol symbolism in DANCING
so more on hirono-san and daigo-san loving ruito-san lol i always think about them gassing up the role he landed in a drag production 😭😭😭 hirono-san didn’t want to miss it and daigo-san eloquently used 🔥🔥🔥 in his hype, amongst other borderline thirst tweet shenanigans LOL
was that their last interview together……….???? but that video of them painting walls together where ruito spills paint all over hirono-san, daigo-san gently caresses paint onto ruito-san’s face, and hirono-san crushes daigo-san’s balls truly lives rent free i’m going to miss the three of them as bat so much 😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💔😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜
#vee queued to fill the void#BUT THERES STILL SO MUCH I WANT TO TALK ABOUT#KUUKOU AND JYUSHI PLAY CATCH WITH MARSHMALLOWS WITH THEIR MOUTHS#HITOYA (RUITO-SAN LOL) EXHAUSTED FROM THEIR REP LIVE RUN AND BEING PULLED AND GOADED BY HIS TEAM#DAIGO-SAN SHOWING OFF RUITO-SANS LIKE 1% BODY FAT ACHIEVEMENT WHILE HIRONO-SAN WAS ABSOLUTELY GOING BALLISTIC IN THE BG#THE THREE OF THEM PLAYING DARTS ON DAIGO-SANS WEB SHOW#THEY DIDNT DO IT TO EACH OTHER BUT HIRONO-SAN AND DAIGO-SAN GETTING THEIR NAILS DONE#I CAN KEEP GOING I DONT WANT THEM TO GO DONT TAKE THEIR BAT AWAY FROM ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i will say the new jyushi seems to have the vkei spirit bred within their very soul which is hype for him lol#what makes me nervous ig is the new kuukou based on the new encounter mv moves practically like hirono-san#technically that’s good lol i’ll appreciate visages of hirono-san as i sit thru kuukou’s stage interpretation lmao#but what else is he bringing to the table???? just that???? copycat hirono????? hm#i may not agree with management giving us cross talks before we’ve seen the actors do anything but it will help get a general vibe ig#(also here’s to hoping the vision with kuukou was long form character development rather than a more static character approach pls lol)#i also promise to learn their names by each cross talk lol i can’t continue being part of the problem lol#anyway i hope the length of this explains why it’s late lol
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sonego · 4 months
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gonna get personal in the tags sorryyyyy
shit i ran out of tags to use GKBKGKDKKDBJDMBMN ok rest under a read more 😭
so okay basically my doctor said sure i'll write you the prescription and also wait should i add it to your regularly taken meds page (so i can request it with a click when i run out)? and i was like yeah that'd be nice and i tried to explain that i thought i would only need for a short period of time but i still need it after many months so... but like he didn't care about the why lol
and anyway now that this has happened i'm like. gonna try to Stop doing what i was doing. there is no good reason to be in pain all the time and make my life harder when taking that dose of my med was working okay and making things considerably better. i don't need to punish myself. this is like so so so hard for me to internalize. being disabled is not a fault. even if it might be my "fault", even if i lowkey feel like i might have contributed to the condition i am in with like, bad choices or whatever, it's still not right to punish myself for it. i'm already unwell, i'm already suffering, what's making it worse gonna do to help? why do i need to feel worse just so i can think i got what i deserve for being in pain in the first place?
so yeah. going back to the higher dose. i hope that makes me feel less pain. i hope i can work without hating every second of it again. i do still hope one day i can get better and not need this med anymore, it's not like i've given up on that bc tbh a lot's still unclear and i will try and see if i can find answers. but in the meantime, no more punishing myself. i need to be okay. i want to be okay.
#called my doctor the other day#bc i needed the prescription for the muscle relaxant i take for my back pain#and i've been needing it for like a while but i kept putting off calling him to get it#there's a few reasons for that one of which is that i hate phone calls in general but especially w doctors#just makes me v v anxious#which is related to another reason which is that i was so scared he'd tell me no bc this was was supposed to be a temporary “fix”#like a little help while i actually got better#which clearly hasn't happened so i still need it but like. i am so used to doctors trying to like decide what i need#not based on my symptoms and needs and what i tell them but just what they think i SHOULD need#bc i SHOULDN'T feel pain i SHOULDN'T need to take that i should just idk excercise and lose weight and try not to be s*icidal and try to#control my moods and oh i shouldn't have headaches almost daily cause they found no medical reason for it#also have i tried sleeping more? have i tried not having insomnia? have i tried smaller doses of x med?#etc etc it's never what i AM experiencing it's what i SHOULD be experiencing. and let me tell you that sucks so bad#my previous gp ruined me so bad and i'm only now realizing it#like every time i need to tell or ask my current gp something i get so anxious bc i'm convinced he'll put up a fight and say no without#listening or he'll write me the wrong prescription or he won't even answer my calls ...........#instead this gp is the opposite#maybe even like. too easily says yes lmao 😭 like i try to talk things thru w him a bit to explain why i need x and he'll just be like#yeah sure here it is and sometimes i feel he's not even listening 🧍🏻#but anyway like. i was kinda punishing myself i think?#i keep trying to lower my dose of muscle relaxant bc i think i shouldn't need it#and i don't want to need it i actually HATE that i need it. it makes me so mad w myself#so i keep trying even if every time i take less i am in so much pain#and these past couple of weeks? or something i did that even more bc i tried to lower it EVEN MORE#even if the 5th attempt to lower it a bit was unsuccessful and i was doing so badly#bc i was running out and i was killing two birds with one stone by trying to lower it so i would be a Better Stronger Nico#and was delaying having to call my doctor#end result: i wanna cry every time i stop (workiny#working* or studying or giffing or doing Whatever)#bc i'm forced to think of the fact i am in pain
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saltytyrus · 1 month
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I'm 99.9% sure that my teacher doesn't read emails before responding... I'm getting sass for shit I didn't even say or forget to do 😭
#i sent in my cpr online course completion on Friday bec she said we'd get 5 extra credit points if we did it by Monday's class#so during class she was going through and some people were confused on how to get the certificate...#which confused me bec i thought we were just to screenshot our account screen where it says completed#but apparently there was an exit survey in order to get the Official Certificate / paper document#so i quickly did that and sent a correction email under my original with the certificate attached as a pdf#then 2 hours later she emails me saying she needs the certificate & 'did u hear when the students were explaining how to get certificates?'#'you must complete the survey first'#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 bitch i literally attached it after saying I wasn't originally aware of the survey 😭#so i had to write an email tiptoing around how i did in fact hear and complete it / literally sent it in but yeah sorry if it didn't upload#ill just reinsert a new download / pls notify me if it still doesnt open for me ill upload it to my Google drive instead 🫠🫠🫠#im 100% sure she got it the first time#shes so quick to sound condescending or as if you're not paying attention#she doesn't listen before speaking either in person#she started to reprimand my classmate while she was trying to take my blood pressure bec i wasnt holding the little clock thing in view/#my classmate was holding the stethoscope in a way the instructor didnt like ig so she was redirecting us before she realized#that my classmate was still stuck trying to find my pusle and not actively pumping or watching for numbers#then she apologized and walked away but?!?!
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6ebe · 2 months
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rly wish male athletes would stop treating their wives and children as props for the sole benefit of their own well-being and sports career. like idk how to phrase this well but in that six nations show the sheer number of guys crediting their wives and kids for making them behave better/ have a more holistic view on life, “my children love me no matter how bad I play” like. smth abt banking on the unconditional love of children while you’re being an absent father bc of your job is crazy 😭😭😭
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nomaishuttle · 5 months
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now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .
#in my heart i want a wawa so badly it hurts but alsoooo i worry quite a bit bc like. i work full time... so el wawa would be at home alone a#lot and one thing about the beautiful adorable majestic chihuahua is they have to pee every 3-4 hours. so i would have to have some way to#let them out OR keep them outside while im at work but another thing is 1. apartments dont generally have backyards#2. chihuahuas get cold very easily .... i could do some ssort of doggy daycare but i fear that would be expensive .... and i hate pee pads#and would prefer not 2 use them so i dont rly have much optionn 😭 but i want a chihuahua so badly.#but ALSO. a kitty cat.... i love cats i think theyre really quite sweetsies and also i think they could handle living in an apartment bette#esp since famously cats use the bathroom indoors. u may know.#so... i could potentially get a kitty..... but also i dont want to get one until im absolutely positive i could take good care of it and i#feel like i could esp now that ive got a system that works so well 4 motivating me to do my daily tasks yk. and also i think if i had my ow#apartment id feel a lot safer just like. being up and around the apartment so thatd be good... but also pets r expensive. but also the apt#i just applied to is rly quite cheap (like 1050 a month) its income restricted but i qualify by like a lot LMAO... n this would be perfect#bc 1050 is likee. not even a full paycheck i could pay rent with 1 paycheck and still have like 150 left over and then my other paycheck fo#the month is fully mine... so i could save up lots#+ wsg is included in the rent whichhh is insane. adn the apartment is cute and Trust . alarm bells were going off a bit bc i was like maybe#this is too good to be true we all remember the 800$ scam incident. but its a verified listing and i checked the propertymanagers and theyr#legit... its even got a washer and dryer IN UNIT and also a fitness center which is good bc i wanna try n start doing more cardio...#IT EVEN HAS A FIREPLACE i dont particularly need a fireplace but its cool 2 have one i could make smores right in my very own living room#AND ITS NOT A STUDIO its a 1 br...#grahhh i rly rly rly want ittt ik i prolly wont get it but :[
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pebblezone · 1 year
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Idk how welcome home has overrun literally all of my social media but I guess I welcome it
#talkingcore#I love puppets it’s all on me I’m engaging this actually isn’t a complaint more like a I Didn’t Know This Existed 24 hours ago#and now it’s literally all I’m seeing like 80% of the videos I’ve seen today have been welcome home which like honestly is super impressive#hell yeah to those creators they’ve got some insane drive#album adventure update: finally rolled good ol honorary Beach boy Glen Campbell maybe I’ll give you guys ram ranch#pip would’ve loved ram ranch 💔 rip king fly high 🕊️🧍‍♂️ 18 naked cowboys 😭 at the ram ranch 😰#I’ve been fucking around with lip syncing shit and it’s tedious as hell but heeehee it’s fun woooah the mouth moves wooooahaaahhhhhh#also this dude keeps leaving his Apple Watch in the practice room in my dorm and like thankfully I’m such an amazing and perfect person#that I didn’t take it the first time but the second time (like 2 weeks later) I said fuck it and just used it while it was still in there#(I’d checked at 2. saw it was there. didn’t use it. came back at 5 it was still there so like a reasonable amount of time to get it)#so I fucked around as normal but like I started getting freaked by the possibility of it listening (it probs wasn’t)#so I left but like bro how do you forget it twice why are you taking it off#I gave it to the help desk people which I think was the right thing to do but also Dude think how easily I could’ve stolen it please keep it#no longer dying of the plague but I need to hang onto my t boy swag pleasepleaseplease let me keep at least some lower notes#I will accept not hitting a G2 again but like. a C3? even just a D3 like regularly? please? please? please? hello? you’re nothing#anyway I’m avoiding my work you guys should look up The Beach Boys and Charles Manson have a gander at that for fun#thanks to my lovely institution having a strike going on by mid Thursday I’m done for the week which means I get to indulge and boy shall I#love you 🫶 go slay 🫶 have great vagina 🫶 byeeee
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sluttyten · 7 months
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I still have 5 hours left in my shift 😭😭😭
#I just….#really wanna go home today#not having a good day. I started my period this morning and then I got to work and found out only me and one other opener were there but our#opening manager wasn’t here yet so she was late and we spent the next 20 minutes rushing to get everything set up before we opened#and then we immediately started getting customers and it’s just been busy and I’m tired and just don’t feel good bc of my period#and then so far I’ve had 2 of my least favorite customers come through the drive thru where I’m working#one is this dude who’s just fucking annoying another is the guy that asked for my number a few months ago who I haven’t seen since I turned#him down so I took his order and then made someone else deal with him at the window#and then it got busy with everyone ordering drinks like hot coffees which meant I had to walk from our drive thru out to the lobby bc my#coffees were out bc everyone wants coffee today but when I would do that I would still have to be taking orders#and then someone cleared a few specialty coffees off the barista screen without making them while the person was sitting in the drive thru#so I had to make those while doing other stuff too and people were asking me questions#and I was just getting very overstimulated and annoyed plus I’m hungry#and I just want to leave and go home and sleep but it’s my best friend’s birthday so she’s probably gonna want to do something later but I#just don’t feel up to it and I know she’s probably ready to hang out because she’s been off for 10 days with Covid so she’s well rested now#for her birthday but 😭😭😭 I just want to crash into my bed so hard and not wake up until noon tomorrow#also the coworker I work with every day and don’t like is here today unfortunately#and also all of the speakers we use to play music in the back are dead right now and I just want to play music#first world problems but I have so little patience today
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