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#which is possibly so i can include chris evans but no one can prove it
nerdzzone · 3 years
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Once Bitten - Twice Shy
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Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.
One of the challenges of sharing custody is sharing holidays which is something that Whitney Taylor found herself struggling with in the December of 2019. The prospect of spending Christmas without her son was dismaying, but the complications that come with the alternative might be even harder to face.
Chris Evans x OFC
Note: Thank you to everyone who has read, liked or commented on this story! I appreciate the support. 
This was the entirety of my original plot, it was just supposed to be a one shot when I started writing it, but it took on a life of it’s own. There’s quite a bit more to come now so I hope no one is too disappointed by the way this ends! I’ve started working on the sequel and have it all mapped out, but I probably won’t post it until it’s mostly finished like I did with this one. So, keep your eyes peeled and please let me know your thoughts!
Part Two
—-
Part Three
26. 12. 19
Waking up, it took a few moments for the memories of the night before to come back to me. When they did, I was filled with relief that I was alone and Chris was no where to be seen. My head throbbed, partially from the alcohol I'd consumed and partially because of the regrets that were filling my mind.
How could we be so stupid? So reckless? How could we risk everything that we'd built for Grayson just for a few moments of relief? How would I be able to push my feelings for Chris aside again after sharing such intimacy with him?
It broke my heart to make the decision to be friends the first time we found ourselves in this situation, how could I be foolish enough to put myself through that again?
I turned my head and groaned into the pillow, a much more distressed, melancholy groan than the ones leaving my lips the night before. I felt like an idiot and I was dreading facing Chris.
After taking another moment to chastise myself for my bad choices, I checked my phone to see the time and was shocked. It was already almost nine thirty and I hadn't heard a peep from the rest of the house. Unfortunately, that meant I didn't have time to mope around in bed, puzzling out what to do.
So, I took just enough time to decide that I needed to make a quick exit before getting up to get myself ready to leave.
 -
  When I got to the kitchen, it was surprisingly quiet. None of the men or children were anywhere to be seen as Lisa, Shanna and Carly tidied up the dishes from the breakfast that I'd missed. Apparently, there was another snow storm forecast to start by the early afternoon and everyone had headed out into the snow as soon as they'd finished eating to start shovelling so that we could all leave before it hit.
I was relieved by their quick action because even if I had to shovel the whole driveway by myself and then drive home in a blizzard, I was not sticking around for another night.
Lisa had tried to convince me to let her cook me breakfast, but my stomach was in too many knots to even think about food. I politely declined and settled for a banana and a cup of coffee, chatting with the women as I ate. It distracted me for a while as I tried to shut off some of the noise in my brain, but once I was finished, I knew I had to face the music and head outside.
By the time I got out there, Chris, Scott and their brother-in-law were already halfway down the driveway which was an impressive feat considering how long it was. I waved to them as I put my bag in my car before heading towards where the children were playing in the front yard.
"Mama!" Grayson cheered as I approached them. "Look! We're building a snowman!"
I looked at the sloppy pile of snow they were assembling and smiled.
"Wow, I can see that! Great job, guys!"
He grinned as he ran over to me and threw his arms around my legs. It was a feeling that never got old and I leaned down to squeeze him closer, trying to ignore the wave of guilt that washed over me. He was the most important thing in our situation and we'd lost sight of that.
"Can you help us?"
"Of course," I nodded. "But I need to go talk to your daddy real quick, okay? Then I'll be right back."
"Okay!"
With that, Grayson bolted back over to his cousins to continue their little project. They were so good with him, including him in their games and activities despite his young age and I was happy that he had such good role models to play with. Leaving them under Dodger's watchful eye, I took a deep breath and headed down the driveway to Chris.
"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Scott shouted over, the first to notice me coming their way. "Thanks for getting up so early to help us shovel the driveway."
I laughed at his sarcasm and stuck out my tongue, but when he shot me a knowing wink, I felt my cheeks burn. Of course Chris would tell him. I should have expected it, they were as close as brothers could be and Chris was always open with his family.
But it just made me feel worse about the conversation I was about to have as I went over to Chris. Luckily, he was on the opposite side of the driveway to the other two. At least that would give us a modicum of privacy.
"Hey, good morning," he grinned. "Did you sleep well?"
"I did," I returned his smile, though mine was much more forced. "Thanks for letting me sleep in."
"Grayson wanted to wake you up at breakfast," he admitted, looking over at our son as he spoke. "He was worried that you'd be hungry when you woke up and there would be no more food left."
I couldn’t help, but laugh at the thought of his concern.
"He's too sweet, but I appreciate you stopping him," I admitted. "I guess I was tired out after last night."
"Last night," Chris smirked. "Last night was..."
He trailed off as he tried to think of a word to describe it, but my smile disappeared entirely as I could tell from the look on his face that we weren't reflecting on our little incident in the same way. So, I beat him to the punch.
"Last night was a mistake."
My words hung between us for a moment and I knew, from the way that his jaw dropped slightly as if I'd just slapped him across the face, that he wasn't happy with what I'd said.
"Oh, don't give me that crap!" He protested once my words had sunk in, keeping his voice low enough that no one would be able to overhear. "You're saying that it meant nothing to you?"
I really wished we weren't outside with so many watchful eyes around, but this conversation needed to be had and at least this way I'd have an excuse to keep things brief.
"I'm saying that it shouldn't have happened," I clarified, my voice wavering slightly as I questioned my own confidence in my words. "We've worked hard to keep things as stable as possible for Grayson and that's what we need to stay focused on."
"So, you just want to pretend that it never happened?"
My heart felt like it was in a vice. I didn't want to pretend it never happened. I wanted to be with Chris, I wanted us to give it a shot, but I knew that it wouldn't work. I was nothing compared to the women that Chris usually dated and when it all fell apart, Grayson would be the one stuck in the middle. It wasn't fair to him.
But that knowledge didn't make it any less painful when I nodded my head.
"I think that's for the best."
Chris scoffed, looking down at the snow as if he couldn't even stand to look at me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to run away or cry and throw myself into his arms so I settled for simply standing there quietly, waiting for him to say something.
It felt like an eternity, but after a minute or two of total silence, he finally spoke.
"Just let me make sure that I'm getting this right," he started, looking back up at me with such an intensity that it made my eyes swim with tears. “You really have no feelings for me at all? Because if you feel even a little bit like I do then you couldn’t possibly think you’re making any sense right now.”
I swallowed hard, trying to come to terms with the situation that I found myself in. A situation where Chris could be standing in front of me, telling me that he had feelings for me after all these years that we’d been determined to be just friends. It would have felt like a cruel joke if there wasn’t so much hurt in his eyes, so much fear that I was about to reject him. Fear that proved to be entirely justified when I finally got my emotions under control enough to answer him.
"It doesn't matter," I told him softly. "It's not about what I feel or what you feel. We have someone more important to consider."
“That's bullshit!"
I flinched at the harshness of his words and his raised voice as Scott shouted over a reminder about language as the kids weren't very far away. I could feel the tears still filling my eyes, but I knew I had to stick to my guns.
"It's not bullshit," I insisted. "It's the right thing to do."
"But you said yourself, he's starting to notice that things are different," Chris pointed out, his voice thankfully much softer than it had been moments ago . "Why not take the chance to give him a normal family if that's what we both want anyway?"
"Because it will hurt him more if it doesn't work out."
"Hurt him?" Chris questioned, his scowl deepening. "Or hurt you?"
Both of us. 
The truth was that I was worried that Chris would hurt me just as much as I worried that our decision would hurt Grayson, but I could handle the risk to myself if it was my choice. I couldn't handle our son being collateral damage.
I could feel Chris' gaze locked intently on me, but I couldn't lift my eyes to meet his. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold onto my argument when the decision I was making wasn't even what I truly wanted. I needed this conversation to end before I let my guard down and made anymore stupid choices.
"We can't talk about this here, Chris."
"Well, when will we talk about it then?"
"I don't know," I shrugged. "I need to think."
Chris shook his head as a sigh fell from his lips. He looked defeated.
"Alright."
I took that as an end to the conversation and turned to walk away, but I'd only made it a few steps when Chris called out to me again.
"I care about you, Whitney," he told me as I looked back over my shoulder. "This wasn't nothing to me. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to make this work."
That only made me feel worse as I had done it without such noble intentions and with doubt still plaguing my mind. I felt cowardly, but I couldn't bring myself to answer him as I looked away and continued on my way back towards our son.
 -
  I stayed outside, playing with the kids in the snow, until the driveway was clear. Once my car was free, I scooped Grayson up and said my goodbyes.
"Be good for your dad, okay?"
"Okay, Mama!" He smiled, pressing a big, sloppy kiss on my cheek. "I love you!"
"I love you too, buddy. I'll see you in a few days."
I put him down and waved as he ran back to follow his cousins who were heading inside. 
Turning back to my car, I  wasn’t entirely surprised to see Chris leaning against the hood. However, I was surprised to see that the scowl that had been firmly on his face since we talked had eased somewhat and I was even more surprised when he pulled me into a hug as soon as I was close enough.
"Drive safe," he warned me. "The roads still look pretty bad."
"I will," I nodded, easing myself out of his grip. "And I'm sorry, Chris. I really am."
"Don't sweat it." He shrugged, but the dejected look on his face did little to assure me that he accepted my apology.  "We'll talk soon though, right?"
I nodded and stepped back, moving to get into my car as Chris moved away from the hood.
He stayed there on the driveway, watching me as I turned the car around and waving as I drove off until he was out of sight.
I felt exhausted and heavy. There were tears brewing in my eyes as I turned onto the road, just as they had been when I drove these streets on Christmas Eve as I was taking Grayson to dad's house and thinking I would be spending the holidays alone. It was amazing to me how I managed to escape the sad, bleak Christmas that I had been anticipating at that point, and yet still somehow managed to come away feeling just as lonely.
And it was amazing to me that I ever let myself think that raising a child with Chris Evans wouldn't be emotionally draining as long as we weren't in a relationship. At this point, it seemed to just make things harder, but I knew that one day both of them would thank me for the sacrifice I was making right now.
I knew that it was the right decision for all three of us and one little slip up, one lapse in judgment and will power, wouldn't derail all the hard work that Chris and I had put in to co-parenting our son.
Or, at least, I hoped with all my heart that it wouldn't.
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Sunday BBQ
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My Masterlist ✨
Requests are open.
Chris Evans x Reader
Word Count: 2,5k
Type: smut
Summary: Lisa had hosted a barbecue at her house, her four children and some close family friends. It was a hot August day in Boston, and you were wearing your fav skirt and a simply white crop top, which highlighted your tan. Chris couldn’t take his eyes off of you and you noticed it. He was wearing a blue t-shirt, which tightened around his muscular biceps.
Warning(s): dirty talk, daddy kink, spanking, rough sex
A wave of heat had hit Boston that day. You couldn’t go to the beach -it was too hot-, neither could you stay in for the entire Sunday. Then your mother had called, saying that Lisa Evans had organized a barbecue at her place, and you took the chance almost immediately.
You wore the first thing you had caught in your wardrobe and got in your car, never living behind Toby -your dog. You jumped in your brother’s red Jeep and in less than fifteen minutes you were parking in front of Lisa Evans’ house.
It wasn’t the biggest house you’ve ever been in, but Mama Evans knew how to take care of her garden, in fact you loved how it was arranged and the beautiful and colorful flowers on the grass. Not by chance Lisa hosted almost every Sunday a big barbecue with family’s friends and her children’s families and friends. Since when you were a child, you’d always waited the Sundays only to go to the Evans’ and have fun.
“Mum and dad are already there”, Tom told you while you were getting out of his car. Together you crossed the road and reached the Evans’ front door, “Aideen and Cristal are coming”.
Toby barked as soon as the door was opened, and you watched him disappearing into the crowded living room. You panted and turned to greet Shanna, who had welcomed you in her mother’s house.
“The guys are in the backyard”, she informed your brother, who crossed the living room and made his way to the yard. Instead you followed Shanna in the kitchen, where you met your mother and Cristal, your younger sister. “So, how is it going at school? Do the children already love their new teacher?”
“It isn’t that simple”, you answered, thanking Lisa as she filled a glass of lemonade for you, “But…they trust me and laugh at my jokes. That’s my biggest achievement so far”, all the women in the room laughed at your statement, including your mother, who had heard that story a couple of times before. “It’s been a while since last Sunday at the Evans’.”
“I know, my dear. This summer I’m determined to re-establish the tradition”, Lisa caressed your back and sent you a reassuring smile, before being interrupted by her husband.
“Ladies, lunch is almost ready.”
You, as all the women in the room, headed out the kitchen and followed Mr. Evans in the backyard, where you brother and other men were grilling meat. You approached Scott, who had been waving you since you had stepped out of the house, “Hey, man!”
“Hey, stranger. I haven’t seen you in ages”, Scott, being a child, as always, teased you and poked your nose, “What’s going on?”
“I’ve been busy with kids at school. I’m officially a teacher!” you cheered and made a quick happy dance, just like when you were a child and happy danced basically for everything, “I’m so…uuh” you stopped talking when you felt something slimy on your ankle. You looked down and saw a tiny white dog licking you, “Hi, baby. Already tired of playing with other dogs?” you grabbed him in your hands and petted his head, just as he liked it.
“He’s a hairball and he’s lazy. Prove me that I’m wrong”, a strong, deep voice said, and you knew who was trying to make you angry, “Just like his owner”.
Chris Evans stood in front of you, one arm around his brother’s shoulder and a cold beer in the other hand. “Hi”, he stuck out his tongue at you and it reminded you how much a child he was.
“What are you doing here?” you asked in a harsh tone, succeeding in not let your excitement to show up, “No movie? No Hollywood Star appointment?” You let Toby rush to his food as you saw Shanna reaching out for him
“Nope, unfortunately for you”, his attention was completely on you, once that Scott had excused himself and ran away from the two of you, “Free for my family and friends”, he took one last drink from his beer and threw the bottle in its proper can, “And you, of course”.
“Good luck with that. Last time didn’t go so well”, having said that, you left him alone, with his thoughts, and made your way back to where your mother and brothers were. “Is that anything left for me?” you took a plate and filled it up with chips, grilled vegetables and an infinite amount of sauces.
Basically, everything that was on the long buffet table, except for the meat -which was being grilled by the men. Logan, your older brother, dragged you in front of the grill and made you wait there with a huge, ceramic dish in your hands. You looked at how all the men were focused on their portion of the grill, but only one caught your attention and it was Chris.
He had his sleeves rolled up and his broad biceps fully on display for everyone. His pecs tensed underneath the think material of his blue shirt and you could clearly see them.
“D’you like what you see?” his tease snapped you out of your thoughts. He saw you blinking and gasping, before, eventually, addressing him an annoyed face, “What? You’re basically drooling over me”, he flipped the grilling meat, interrupting your exchange of gaze, “I have eyes, Little One”.
“Stop calling me like that!”
“It’s not a nickname, it’s a matter of fact” Chris pierced various steaks of meat and nodded you to get closer to him, which you did -even if reluctantly, “You’re ten years younger than me, if I’m not wrong”, he started filling up the dish in your hands with steaks and hot dogs.
“Yeah, you’re right”, you rolled your eyes and stuck out your tongue, “And I hate you”, you saw as he put down the big fork and the spatula and grabbed the plate from your hands -which was becoming hotter.
“Nah, you don’t”, he nodded towards his beer -the second of the day- behind you and you got you had to grab that, “You secretly love me”.
“And that’s such a secret that I didn’t even know it”, you stated and look at your feet as you got down of the area where the grills were. “Thank you for enlightening me, by the way”.
After placing the dish down on the buffet table, you gave the beer back to its owner. While you were handing it to him, your fingers slightly touched, but it was enough for you to shiver.
You couldn’t deny that; Chris had been your first serious crush and being friend with him didn’t help you cause. Moreover, being him very friendly with quite everyone, he’d never missed the chance to hug you, kiss your cheek, or touch your thighs while laughing together -and you loved him being touchy with you.
But that, damn, that wasn’t something you looked for, it came and brought butterflies to your stomach. You taught to kids in elementary school, yet at that moment you felt like a teenager, inexperienced with guys.
You raised your eyes and found him already looking at you. It was like a movie scene; with the two characters whose lives changed once their hands touched. But it was real life, and, in the real life, things didn’t go as in a movie. Your special moment was ruined by your mother yelling your name and searching for you in the yard.
“I gotta go. That’s yours”, and without saying another word, you rushed across the garden and disappeared, leaving Chris speechless and jammed.
You were stuck with your mother and sisters for three hours. You ate with them and told them how your teaching life was going that far, which had been exciting for the first fifteen minutes, then it annoyed you, too. You found yourself often searching for a pair of blue-green eyes which had your knees tremble not long before.
When you could no longer listen to your mother talking about your happy childhood and how your parents had been crucial in your academic choice, you excused yourself and got up, heading to the bathroom. It was occupied at the first floor, so you made your way upstairs and quickly found the room you were looking for.
“Sneaking in my bedroom?”
You flinched when you heard a male voice coming from behind you, and you knew whose voice was that, “You’re unbelievable”.
“Nah, I’m incredible”, Chris put his phone in his back pocket and lowered his gaze at you, “And you’re really cute today”.
You shook your head as the grip on the door handle tightened, “Cute?” you lowered your gaze, looking how you were dressed and looked back at him, “Are you noticing it only now?”
Chris didn’t reply to you, he had a quick glance at your surroundings and wrapped his arms around your waist, pushing you against the door behind you, “I did notice it”, his hand reached the handle and pushed it down. Chris pulled you inside and locked the door once inside, “And I’ve thinking about one-hundred ways to get you under me”.
You weren’t surprised, not at all. To everyone’s eyes you and Chris were just friends who liked hanging out together whenever it was possible. The truth was that you two had history, behind everyone’s back.
You felt his biceps flexing under your hands and you smirked, “And which one is you favorite?” you placed your hands at the base of his neck, “C’mon, tell me”, you encouraged him when you saw he wasn’t going to answer your question.
“We’re in my parents’ house, what makes you think I’m gonna fuck you here?” his grip tightened around your waist and that made you gasp, “C’mon, tell me”, he mocked of you when you didn’t reply to him immediately.
“You become ruthless when it comes to fuck”, you moved your hands behind his neck and pulled a string of hair too long. You brushed his cheek with your lips, and you heard him groaning. Not completely satisfied with yourself, you pulled closer to him and crushed your hips against him.
“Bend over.”
His firm and harsh tone made you shiver. It had always done. When talking like that with you, Chris knew he had you wet, trembling, and throbbing for him. He knew you would have begged him until you were no longer capable of speaking.
You did as he asked, and your face met the cold marble surface before you could hear an abrupt sound and warm spreading on your left ass-cheek.
“Did you just-?” you lifted your head and looked straight at him, startled by what he had just done.
“You can bet you ass I did”, having said that, Chris let his hand fall on your ass once more and the vibration of that spank went straight to your throbbing clit, “Now…tell me what I wanna hear”.
You heard metal noises coming from behind you, acknowledging what he was doing, “Please”.
“I’ll show your ass to the word if you don’t say the magic words”, his big, callous hands went raising your baby blue skirt up to your hips, and soon after they automatically found their way to your chest. Chris dangerously shoved his hardening cock against your core and hissed in pleasure.
You couldn’t endure it anymore; the pleasure growing inside you was too much that it was becoming painful and you knew he wouldn’t let you come if you misbehaved. Your clit was hurting, and it was a matter of time before you would drip yourself wet. You closed your eyes and gave up: “Please, daddy, fuck me”, Chris’ hand went down on your ass-cheek abruptly once more and encouraged you to go on, “Pleeease. I’ve been craving you all day”, you pushed your ass towards his hips, and you heard him cursing under his breath.
“You’re acting like a brat”, he set his buckle next to your face and you shivered, “Do you know what brats get?”
You didn’t reply to him, not because you didn’t want to, but because the pain was becoming too much that you couldn’t assemble a sentence.
“What-”, spank, “-do-”, another spank, “-they-“, Chris changed side, “-get?” one last spank.
“T-they…don’t g-get to c-come”, you were a trembling mess. Your weight was completely on your chest as your legs caved in when he’d started spanking you, “B-but, please, make me cum, daddy”.
“If you keep it quiet and low, I can consider making you come”, Chris’ hands searched for your underwear and, once found it, he pulled it down to your ankles, “Quiet and low, remember”.
You closed your eyes and prayed the God as Chris pushed himself inside you, stretching all your inner muscles. You moaned when he pulled out, only to go back where he left and boost his entire length inside your channel. You arched your back as you felt his thumb teasing your asshole, “P-please”.
“Oh, God…” Chris groaned as increased his pace. Thrusts became quicker and fiercer, leaving you breathless, “Keep it low”, he warned you not a second before adopting an ungodly speed.
You couldn’t form a word anymore, the only things coming out from your mouth were moans -which you had to hold on. You could only beg him for your own release, which wasn’t far away since the familiar warm had already formed and was spreading in your stomach.
“As much I want to take my time with you-“ Chris lifted your chin and made you look at him while speaking, “-I’ve thought of taking you like this the whole day-“, he kissed your forehead and left a trail of sweet kisses from there to your mouth, “-after this, we call it a day and leave”, as he pinched your clit, you both came and you had to repress a scream.
You were out of breath, bent over the furniture in the bathroom of Lisa Evans’ house, and at the mercy of her older son. In less than fifteen minutes Chris had transformed you into a whimpering and sweating mess, you were sticky between your legs, and you back hurt for the countless times you had arched it, “Chris”, you called him, who didn’t appeared better than you, “You gotta help me”.
The man behind you giggled, but helped you standing back on your feet, he re-dressed you and rested a kiss on your collarbone, jaw, nose, and, finally, lips, “Have I ever told you how much I actually like you?” he rhetorically asked, looking straight at your eyes.
“Only every time you fuck me. And before fucking me another time”, you wrap your arms around his waist and rested your head in the crock of his neck, inhaling his strong, musky, after-sex scent -the one you loved so much, yet you weren’t brave enough to tell him that.
“Don’t fall asleep. We have a long afternoon and a long night in front of us”, Chris rub a thumb on your left cheek, and you closed your eyes, wallowing that sensation, “Let’s go, Princess”.
Tag List: 
ALL MY STORIES: 
@thummbelina
@thegetawaywriter
@coffeebooksandfandom
@kiza4​ 
ALL CHRIS EVANS: 
@stargazingfangirl18
@rororo06​
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syms-things-5 · 3 years
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Clear The Area - Chapter Eighteen
Previous Chapter Here
Notes: So sorry this took me an age to get out. Thanks for sticking with me. We’re in the end game now... 
Warnings: Heavy language. Angst. 
Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 
Sarah was trying her hardest to get out of Lisa’s birthday weekend. Really trying. She couldn’t remember the last time she had put this much effort into something that wasn’t related to work or getting to a finish line she’d imposed upon herself while out on a run. 
She wasn’t a very creative person either. Not when it counted. She spent three days pathetically dropping hints that she was coming down with something. Scott dismissed it at first, insisting the fresh air would do her some good. She went as far as to suggest she was feeling quite nauseous so perhaps a five-hour-plus car journey might not be the best idea. Only she had downplayed it to such an extent, she inadvertently removed the problem from the table. 
She also tried the whole “it should be a family event” thing, but Shanna told her she was family and that she should stop mithering and start packing. 
Things got a little desperate. She wasn’t proud of herself but when Audrey had told her about a falling-out she’d had with Michael, well, it would be stupid to lose that golden opportunity. So, she told Shanna she was thinking of offering to stay and support her dear, dear friend and colleague but, with a glint in her eye, Audrey insisted it wasn’t that big of a problem. She was definitely off Sarah’s Christmas card list now. 
Truth be told, she didn’t have a legitimate reason to avoid the break. She couldn’t deny the prospect of having the entire apartment to herself for four days was enticing, though. She could enjoy some rare peace and quiet. She could read a book in a long, hot bubble bath without Shanna perching by the side and regaling her with the latest issues in her romantic life. She could cook and eat seafood without worrying about giving her best friend an allergic reaction. She could also lounge around in her pyjamas all day, or maybe even naked. 
No, not naked. She was never one for that idea. 
Carly had been filling the family WhatsApp with game ideas; some solo, some in teams. All kid-friendly, which was a speciality of the Evans’ clan. Lisa had planned a long hike for the Sunday morning followed by what sounded like an extravagant picnic with champagne, quiche and foot-long subs. She also sent a picture of three humongous bags of marshmallows, the size of small children, and suggested they could sit round a camp fire on the evening they arrive. That was assigned to Chris as his first job. 
There was also the small issue of a massive hot tub. Thanks to a new reliance on fast food during her late shifts, Sarah wasn’t much a fan of her body at the present time. That was another thing she’d have to contend with. She loved the family but forced fun in bathing suits was not really her “thing”. 
“If we get there early, we can bagsy the attic room.” Shanna suggested, nose in a gossip magazine. Sarah nodded in agreement while keeping her eyes on the television. “I’ll be damned if Scott gets it all to himself again.” 
“Sure thing.” Sarah replied, acting nonchalant and biding her time once more before she could raise again the possibility of her not going with them. 
“Don’t get anything out for dinner tonight. We’re heading to mom’s in a couple of hours. I hope that’s OK.” 
“Sure. Wait, what?” Sarah did a double take at Shanna, her face now fully hidden by her magazine. 
“Sorry!” She peaked out over the top of the page. “I forgot to say earlier but Mom wanted to have dinner at hers tonight so we can go through the itinerary in full. Make sure everyone knows what they’re bringing. I said it’d be cool ‘cos you weren’t working.” Her tone was apologetic. “You’re not doing anything, are you?” 
No, she wasn’t doing anything. And she couldn’t think of anything either. There was literally no thoughts running through her mind at that time. None that offered her any help whatsoever. Blank. Stupid, fucking, dumbass. 
“Yeh, no, of course. Makes sense.” She responded after a second had passed. She silently blew out a long breath and sank further into the couch. 
When Shanna had said they were having dinner, Sarah figured it would be one of Lisa’s massive pot pies followed by the biggest tub of Neapolitan ice cream she could find. Something easy and comfortable that wouldn’t get in the way of the more pressing matters at hand, namely finalising plans for her birthday weekend. She was most certainly not expecting candles and a table runner, the fancy anniversary cutlery and four or five bottles of expensive red wine. Lisa had even added some fresh flowers as a centrepiece. 
Sarah looked down at her ripped black jeans and grey t-shirt and felt woefully under-dressed. She scolded Shanna with an annoyed look that didn’t go unnoticed. 
“I didn’t know she was planning some fancy thing, did I?!” Shanna whispered as they hung up their jackets in the hallway. “You know what she’s like.” 
Sarah did know what she was like so, really, she should have known better.
Shanna nudged her out of the way to walk into the kitchen and give her mother a hug, leaving Sarah standing in the doorway feeling like a potato and not sure how to make use of herself. She could hear Scott get beaten loudly by Carly’s husband on a computer game. She glanced her head inside the living room and waved at them, watching as they offered muffled sounds as acknowledgement of her greeting. Chris didn’t seem to be anywhere around yet which gave her some mild comfort at least. In fact, nearly a whole hour went by before he arrived. A light, summer shower had started outside and his arrival was announced to all by Lisa’s shrill tone instructing him to take his shoes off before walking on her newly shampooed carpet.  
“Yeh, ma, I got it. Gimme a break…” 
“Did you bring that picnic blanket I asked you to find? The one you brought last year? The large, tartan one?” 
 Chris gave his mother a confused look before she audibly sighed. “I asked you about it yesterday? I texted you earlier to remind you? Jesus….” 
 He shrugged off his sport jacket, placing it on top of Sarah’s, and toed his boots off before ambling into the dining room to join the others. 
 “She’s on one again.” Scott whispered to him as Chris took a seat beside him, across from Sarah and Shanna. “She called me three times this morning alone to remind me to pick up plastic cups and plates. Like I’m gonna forget something she’s messaged me about, like, a hundred times.” 
 “That’s nothing. You should see the list of jobs she’s given to Miles and Ethan.” Michael joined in. 
 “But they’re only kids.” Scott questioned him, half surprised and half...not so surprised. His memory suddenly recalled all kinds of jobs he was forced to do as a young boy, raking lawns and cleaning the family car. Michael just shrugged back at him, rolling his eyes knowingly. Scott looked between Shanna and Sarah, worrying for what she’ll impose upon them all next. 
 “She hasn’t given me any jobs yet.” Shanna said. She almost sounded offended at being left out of the menial work. The room fell silent as everyone else slyly eyed each other. “Oh, right. Thanks guys.” 
 “Hey, your job is to read the maps so we get there in one piece.” Scott finally broke the awkward silence. 
 “And Sarah? What’s Sarah’s job? I don’t think she’s been asked to do anything either.” 
 “Her job is to make sure you’re reading the map the right way around.” Chris interrupted and the room descended into fits of laughter. Shanna merely leaned back in her chair, folded her arms and cast a mental curse on her older brother. Sarah tried hard to mask a smirk that didn’t go unseen by Chris. 
 Pointedly ignoring his sister, Chris reached for the open bottle of wine closest to him. He leaned his arm across the table and offered Sarah a glass. “Want a top-up?” 
 They made eye contact for the first time in what felt like ages and he smiled at her, a slight crease appearing in the corners of his eyes so she knew it was genuine. “No, I’m OK. Better pace myself.” 
 They hadn’t seen each other, hadn’t messaged each other, in over a week. She was grateful for the break. He looked good, though. Lean and sculpted to a point that was inhuman or, at the very least, unfair to an average human being. A couple of weeks of working out and his body seemed to ping back to what it once was. It was like watching elastic snap into place. Sarah suddenly felt every single extra pound clinging to her thighs. Whenever she gained weight, it always seemed to land there. It was annoying and proved nearly impossible to remove no matter how often she ran. 
 “The hell is this?” Chris asked. He finally noticed the smooth table runner stretching out in front of him. “Are we expecting someone official?” 
 “Just keep quiet and let her do her thing.” Scott pleaded with him quietly before connecting eyes with Shanna and Sarah, everyone seemingly thinking the same thing. “Let’s try to get out of here in one piece, yeh?” 
 “What took you so long to get here, Chris?” Lisa asked as she walked back into the dining room carrying a large tray of what looked like bread rolls. She placed it down in the centre before moving to the side table to gather the salt and pepper grinders. 
 “Oh, it was just a work call.” He shrugged, confident enough in his manner that the conversation didn’t go any further. Scott elbowed him seemingly without anyone else noticing but Chris brushed him off with a shake of his head. He rested his chin on his hand as he took stock of what was in front of him, Sarah included. 
 His beard was thicker and apparently untended to, Sarah noticed, now that things had quietened down. He glanced at her through his lashes as things grew quiet and Lisa started dishing out vegetables to everyone. Lisa had a particular way of handling large family dinners – lessons learned from cooking for many kids over the years. You knew to wait until everyone had something on their plate before making moves for any more. It all smelled delicious. As unnerved as Sarah felt with the formality laid out in front of her, she had to admit she was looking forward to some proper home-cooked food. 
 Chris kept looking at Sarah, hands folded in her lap, polite as always, waiting for everyone else to go in front of her. He saw Michael help himself to three bread rolls before passing the plate back round to Lisa. Michael was a tall, hefty man whose appetite never seemed to be affected by anything. Even when he had horrendous flu that left him in bed for a fortnight, he still managed to put a lot away. He had never once experienced food poisoning. 
 “If you’re waiting for everyone else, there’ll be nothing left.” Chris spoke as he leaned in towards her so she could hear him over the sounds of cutlery and enjoyment. “Just go for it.” 
 She smiled shyly back at him and thanked Lisa for cooking what appeared to be a mini-feast. 
 “Can you pass the butter, please?” Shanna asked as she reached her arm over Sarah’s plate, forcing Sarah to lean back in her chair. She stretched her other arm out for the gravy that Scott was currently pouring over his plate. 
 “You’re always so polite.” Chris chuckled. “Shan, can you stop getting in the way and let the poor girl eat.” 
 “Huh?” Shanna questioned, unaware of what was going on. 
 “You’re getting in her way.” 
 “No, she’s fine. It’s fine.” Sarah quickly interrupted as she sensed him bristle with frustration. 
 He looked at her for another second before shaking his head. Shanna threw her brother a look of puzzlement but Scott appeared just as confused by his sudden tone.
 “Bet this beats McDonald’s, eh Sarah?” Carly said, before giggling to herself. 
“You’re telling me. I can’t remember the last time I ate something green and fresh.” 
 “Michael is so jealous.” 
 Michael’s ears perked up as he turned to his wife and Sarah. “Damn straight. Being only able to eat burgers and fries is, like, the dream scenario.” 
 “Why have you been on so many night shifts lately anyway?” Chris asked, a mouth full of chicken, placing the spotlight firmly on her. 
 She tried to shrug it off, act casually. “Audrey needed some extra support and I figured it would do me good to work in a few more nights. I always seem to manage to get out of them.” 
She was fast hoping Lisa would start discussing the impending trip to distract everyone but no such luck. 
 This felt like it was going to be a long night. 
 “It gave you time off for this weekend so swings and roundabouts, eh?” Shanna added. “Speaking of which, is there anything you need us to do for the trip, Mom? I noticed everyone else has jobs and lists except for us.” Shanna inquired, not quite able to hide the mild accusatorial tone creeping into her words. 
 “Um, no, I don’t think so, honey. Just trying to keep it as casual as possible.” 
Scott nearly choked out a chunk of potato. Chris, side-eyeing Michael’s increasingly red face, tried his hardest not to bark out in laughter. It was tough. Lisa noticed it, too. Choosing to ignore it, she turned back to her daughter. 
 “I meant that things are under control now so there’s no need to add to the pile. As long as you get there on time, that’s all I’ll ask for.” 
 Shanna wasn’t feeling convinced and the smug grin now on Chris’ face wasn’t helping to reassure her either. She turned to Sarah to see if she was thinking the same thing as her but Sarah just kept her eyes on the plate of food in front her, hoping that if she continued eating and finished as quickly as possible, she could get home again. 
 “I can do something, Mom.” She protested. “I could bring that lawn bowling game again?” 
 “Actually, Michael has one of those. It’s a bit newer and the skittles are heavier so the wind won’t keep knocking them over.” Carly spoke up before glancing apologetically at her sister. “He just got it from a friend at work, so… No biggie.”  
“What about wine and drinks? We could stop off on the way up?” 
 “I put an order in for all of that.” Lisa responded with a casual wave of her hand. “It’ll be here the day before so I’ll pack it up here before we set off. Speaking of which, anyone for more wine?” 
 Shanna remained quiet as the family conversed about nothing in particular. Carly was talking about some game the kids at school had taught her that might be fun for the weekend but nothing could remove the unease surrounding her sister. Sure, Shanna wasn’t the most reliable when it came to shopping lists and sticking to plans but it was unlike Lisa not to call upon her for something, no matter how small and inconsequential it might be. 
 Attention turned from one brother to the next as discussions about carpooling took over. Chris really wanted to use the trip as an excuse to take his new Audi for a drive but with all the gear he and Scott had to bring, there wasn’t much room for anything or anyone else. 
 “Except maybe Sarah?” Chris posed the question, keeping it casual. “You could tag along with us and then Shanna could go with mom, I guess.” 
 “I was thinking of hiring a car myself actually.” Chris looked surprised at Sarah’s sudden offer. She hated driving. “We could take some of the load off everyone else then. Lisa? We could pack up some of your stuff?” 
 Sarah had loosely discussed this with Shanna some time ago but they had ultimately decided against it because, well, she really hated driving. Now, however, sensing her friend’s growing despondency, she figured it might help her feel more useful. Plus, it would give Sarah some control over when they could head back home again. 
 Shanna looked at her friend and smiled gratefully. 
 “That’s very kind of you, Sarah. I supposed you both could go on ahead and get the keys from Maggie and we could meet you there soon after? I said we would be getting there some time around the early afternoon if that’s alright with you both?” Lisa requested, opening another bottle of wine. Shanna nodded, a smile wide on her face now and she felt a sense of relief. 
 Sarah mentally calculated backwards from “early afternoon” and reasoned they would need to be up and out of the apartment by 7am at the latest. Suddenly, her role in proceedings made more sense where Shanna was concerned. She gladly accepted a new glass of wine and made a mental note to contact the car rental in the morning. 
 “You know who you should ask about renting cars?” Scott asked. “Greg, of course! I bet he knows a guy who knows a guy who is the son of the guy that started Mercedes. Or something. Either that or he probably has shares in Hertz.” 
 Sarah rolled her eyes at him, laughing. He probably wasn’t wrong. 
 “OK there, brother. You need to ease up on the wine” Chris pushed Scott’s glass further away and patted him on the back. “There you go, little sis. Looks like you have a job after all.” 
 A clear sign of Chris’ irritation was when he chose to be patronising. Shanna was taken aback by his tone and Sarah felt her friend sink back into her chair, irritated. Sarah raised her eyebrow at him but all he did was shrug, playing innocent. Not his strong point. 
 The room stayed silent for a little while as people finished up their meals. As much as she originally wanted to pace herself, Sarah didn’t object when Scott filled her glass up yet again. He turned in his chair to place the empty bottle on the side table alongside the others. It was then that Sarah noticed all of the other empties. Had they really drunk that much? In little more than an hour? She clocked the time and there still seemed to be plenty of food left. They would be travelling much of it home as afters at this rate. Chris left the room briefly and returned with a couple of beers for him and Michael. 
 “What are you gonna do with all this left-over food, ma?” Chris asked as he sat back down indicating a second tray of roast potatoes that had so far gone untouched. 
 “Please don’t let us take any.” Sarah joked, holding her hands up in playful protest. 
 “What?” Scott asked before laughing. He looked at his sister before smiling broadly at Sarah as he watched her cheeks blush red. 
“Oh, she’s feeling self-conscious about her weight.” Shanna answered, nudging her under the table. That was helpful of her, thought Sarah. She could feel herself heating up as they all looked at her, waiting for her to speak up again. Chris took a swig of beer from his bottle and leaned his forearm on the table. 
“No way in hell are you fat, Sarah. That’s ridiculous.” Scott combatted. “You’re really trim, being on your feet all day. I’d love to give you my fit-bit some time. I’d probably gain a few thousand steps.” 
 Sarah laughed out loud. “Thank you, Scott. Can we please change the subject?” 
 “So, you’ll be wearing a two-piece, yeh?” Chris asked. She turned to look at him suddenly before chuckling nervously. 
 “Um, I have no idea yet. Are we even going to use the hot tub?” 
 “I won’t be.” Lisa laughed. 
 “Oh, we all definitely will! It’s the height of summer and that thing can fit a dozen people. Ample room for comfort!” Scott enthused. He should be a salesman. 
 “And it’d be a real shame if you didn’t join in, Bernette.” 
 She felt her skin heat up under Chris’ gaze as he attempted to hide the fact he was looking at her by taking another long swig from his beer bottle. “I’m not apologising for that by the way. As a man and your friend, I can say that and you can’t get mad at me.” 
 “What?” Scott asked. It was a valid question in the circumstances. “What a…weird thing to say.” Scott laughed a little uncomfortably but Chris didn’t break eye contact with Sarah. 
 “So,” Michael attempted to add some humour back into the room. “Bet it’s nice sleeping during the daytime now you’re on lates? I used to love lazing around the house when I did them.” 
 Scott nodded enthusiastically in agreement, slapping his hand on the table. “I remember night shoots on this one TV drama I did a few years ago and honestly, the sleep I got the next day was the best ever. I don’t know why but I always tend to sleep better in the daytime.” 
 “Funny, that’s what your teachers used to say.” Chris joked, swigging his beer. Lisa giggled and fondly touched her son’s elbow. 
 “Oh ha ha ha. You’re so funny. I swear if you’re this amusing this weekend, I might not survive my sides splitting open.” Scott rolled his eyes. “Which reminds me, we should figure out rooms now so there’s no fighting on the day. No way am I sharing with this idiot.” 
 “You only wanna do that ‘cos you know we’ll be there first and we will be bagsying the attic this time.” Shanna thumbed the space between her and Sarah. 
 “You don’t deserve the attic.” Chris pointed. “You’ll be half-cut the entire weekend, like last time. You won’t enjoy the space or the views.” 
 “Excuse me? What do you care?” Shanna retorted. 
 “You spent a whole day in bed with a hangover last time. If you’re gonna be sharing with Sarah, it’s not fair on her to have to look after you. Again. It’ll spoil her weekend as well.” He explained. “She deserves a break just as much as you do.” 
 Shanna looked aghast at her friend before regarding her brother again. She shook her head in disbelief. “I can handle my drink, OK? I was just gonna say that it wouldn’t be fair if Scott got that room all to himself. Especially if he’s on his own again.” 
 “Thanks sis.” 
 “Sorry, Scott. But…y’know. If anything, Mom should have it.” She suggested, looking towards her mother in hopes that she might appreciate the offer.
“Thanks sweetie but I’ll be staying in the guest house this time. With Carly, Mikey and the kids.” 
 “Since when?” Chris asked, surprised. 
 “We just figured it would be easier this time around. Plus, I can help with the kids and you guys can sort breakfast for us all. Get your pancake apron out again, hun.” She winked at him, sipping her wine. 
 “Chris is a great tosser.” Shanna said under her breath. 
 “Shanna….” Lisa nudged her. 
 “Wait, so does this mean we get a room each then?” Scott interrupted. He wasn’t even sure of what he was saying as the wine haze gradually descended over him. “Sarah?” 
 “I have absolutely no idea.” 
 “I’ve lost track of what’s going on now.” Scott said. 
 “That doesn’t answer the question of who gets the attic, though?” Shanna asked, a little whinier than she had intended. 
 “If Sarah and I take the downstairs rooms, we can figure out breakfast in the mornings.” Chris suggested. “And you can have your precious attic. That makes it easier, right? Does that make you happy, Shanna? Good.” 
 “What’s crawled up your ass and died this evening?” Shanna asked, irritated. 
“Oh my god, Shanna, it’s a fucking bedroom.” He practically spitted. “You keep dragging everything out and making everything into a bigger deal than it needs to be.” 
 “No, I’m not!” 
 “Yes, you are! I’m just making the decisions so we can all move the fuck on.” 
“Chris!” Lisa reprimanded her son and regretted over-ordering on the wine. 
 “It’s alright now.” Sarah attempted to calm things down. “I think we’ve pretty much figured it out so it’ll be fine.” Carly nodded and nudged Michael to offer something by way of support but he looked just as baffled by the tension as she did. 
 Chris landed his bottle on the table hard. “Sarah, you don’t need to keep standing up for her. She’s a big girl. She should be able to figure it out now without you babysitting her all the goddamn time.” 
 “What?!” Shanna also slammed her glass down on the table and looked to Scott and Carly for some back-up but they both seemed frozen to their respective spots. “I don’t need babysitting.” 
 “OK, guys. Dessert? I have pecan pie and or ice cream?” Lisa offered, standing up from her seat and making a shade more noise than necessary in the hope it might snap the kids out of whatever funk they were in. 
 Chris glared at his sister a beat too long and she returned the favour before turning away with a look of disgust. “You’re gonna be heaps of fun this weekend, I can tell.” Shanna shrugged. “Clearly, I’m not the one we need to be concerned with. Maybe it’s you that needs babysitting?” 
 “Fuck you!” Chris stressed, just low enough to miss his mother’s ears. 
Carly’s eyes grew wide in shock and for a second, Chris looked like he might apologise. Sarah reached a hand under the table to gently tap Shanna on her leg. Shanna felt it but didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, she leant on her elbow and rubbed her earlobe between her thumb and forefinger, a sure sign she was feeling upset and possibly trying to stop tears forming. Sarah tried to get Chris’ gaze back on her but he continued eying his sister, no apology yet materialising. He was a loose cannon when he was in this mood and she didn’t much want to stick around and find out what might happen if he downed another beer. 
 “We should probably think about heading home, Shan. I’ll check for an Uber.” Sarah stated. 
 “Don’t do that, I’ll give you a lift, hun. It won’t take long. We can have some pie and then go if you like.” Carly offered with a wink and for the first time that evening, Sarah noticed she hadn’t been drinking. 
 “Always looking out for you, aren’t we?” Chris said, lowly. 
 “Do you wanna calm down?” Shanna asked. 
 “I am calm.” Chris replied. “I’m just having a nice time, right? That’s what we’re all doing here, yeh? Sarah?” 
 “Sorry?” 
 “Are you having a good time?” He pressed. 
 She was sure he was leading her into a trap. 
 “I am OK. Sure.” She spoke each syllable carefully, trying to warn him off from whatever his motive was. 
 “I don’t believe you.” 
 She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, or anyone. She held her hands in her lap and paid attention to the air she was now breathing in deeply. 
 “Oh Jesus Christ!” Shanna called out. She was growing more and more frustrated with her brother by the second. 
 “Shanna!” intercepted Lisa. 
 “No! He’s being a dick and I wanna know why!” She turned back to Chris. “What the hell have I done to piss you off?!” 
 He stayed quiet, blocking her voice out. He focussed as much of his energy as he could at Sarah sitting across from him, willing her to look back at him, to let him know it was going to be OK. He swung between feeling regret and feeling practically and absurdly confident. It was the beer obviously. It really felt like a now-or-never moment. Fuck it. 
 “I’m sorry, Sarah.” 
 Sarah finally looked up at him, tears appearing in the corners of her eyes. Her feet felt like they were weighed down with concrete to the spot underneath. She tried to feel them, to grab at the carpet between her toes. She was pretty sure she could no longer hear what was going on around her as she felt her heart beat inside her ears. 
 “Why are you apologising to her? I’m the one that’s upset!” countered Shanna, jabbing her finger at him, aggressively. 
 He shook his head before looking back at his sister. “I’m sorry, Shanna. I wish there was a better way of saying this but I guess not. I’m just…” 
He paused as he tried to find the words. Sarah felt her heart sink. What felt like goosebumps suddenly appeared up and down her arms. Chris looked at her again. Scott looked at her, too, picking up on something for the first time but what, he couldn’t work out. Damn that second bottle. 
 “I’m just tired.” Chris offered. Carly looked to Michael but he knew nothing of what was happening. “Of this.” 
 “Is it work again?” Lisa enquired. “Maybe you could work in some time off this time around, so you’re not away from home for as long.” 
 “No, it’s not work, ma. I’m just tired in general. Of a lot of things. People.” He pronounced each syllable as clearly as he possibly could. “And I know it sounds pathetic and you’re probably thinking I’m being selfish but I really don’t fucking care.” 
 “I…I don’t understand, honey.” 
 “Yeh, what are you talking about?” Shanna turned to her friend but her stare wasn’t quite matched by Sarah who looked like she was waiting for the ground to swallow her whole. “Does anyone know what the hell he’s talking about? Or why I am in the firing line for it all of a sudden?” 
 “Shan, I don’t think-” Scott started but the glare from his sister stopped him in his tracks. Scott looked at Sarah and things started falling into place. For some reason, of all the memories to have at that moment in time, his mind flashed back to standing out on his brother’s terrace on the evening of his birthday party. Chris had been distracted and checking his phone, even more than usual so Scott was certain it had something to do with a girl. Normally, he’d feel a sense of pride at being right but it didn’t feel altogether appropriate in the current circumstances. 
 “What the hell is going on?” Shanna pressed. She looked to Scott who had his gaze fixed firmly on his brother. “Do you know, Scott?” 
 Scott looked to his brother and when Chris met his gaze, he knew. He knew Scott knew, too. Call it brotherly intuition but something had connected for him and Chris was all the more grateful for it. 
 “Do you ever feel tired or dictating everyone else’s happiness?” Chris asked, breaking the silence. 
 Shanna dropped her hands on her lap in frustration. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? When have I ever dictated your happiness?” 
 “Do you even realise what people do for you? Do you ever take notice of everyone around you, going out of their way to make you feel better even if it makes them feel worse? Take tonight for example. Sarah doesn’t even wanna drive this weekend. She fuckin’ hates it, you know this, but she’s doing it anyway so that you can feel useful. It’s pathetic.” 
 “What? You heard her, she just offered.” 
 “Because you’ve been moaning about not having anything to do! If you’d just moved on, shut up, she probably wouldn’t have needed to.” 
 “That’s not true. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Shanna dismissed him. 
 “Why don’t I get the car running and you guys can meet me outside in 5?” Carly proposed, indicating to Sarah that she should try and gather her things, Shanna included. 
 Chris completely ignored Carly. “And you’ve asked her what she wants, right?” 
“Chris, please…” It was pathetic. Sarah knew that. 
 “I just don’t get it, Sarah.” He turned to her with a half-hearted shrug. “I’ve thought about it all week but I just don’t understand what you are getting out of this. Surely, I give you more than this?” 
 “OK.” Lisa got up from the table and moved round to where Shanna was sitting, rubbing a hand across the back of her shoulders as though it was in preparation of something, but Shanna abruptly pushed her hand away. 
 “Sarah and I have been seeing each other. For a little while. A few months maybe, I lost track of time.” 
 Shanna’s jaw dropped. Scott should have felt something but after glancing at his mother stood in front of him on the other side of the table, and recognising the same look in her eyes, he stayed quiet. He saw Sarah close her eyes and figured someone should try and comfort her, too, but it was hard to know where to stand.
 Shanna found some strength to open her mouth a few times but no sound came out, until… “What?” 
 “You don’t need to worry, though. It’s over now.” He placed his bottle of beer on the table and leaned back. He placed his fingers on the edge, running them up and down the smooth, varnished wood. “She ended it by the way. Because she knew you wouldn’t be happy.” 
 Shanna’s mouth hung open, dry. “Is that true?” She turned to Sarah. “Were you with him?”
 “I just said so, didn’t I?” 
 “I wasn’t asking you!” 
 Chris wasn’t sure what he was hoping for in that moment. He looked at Sarah and felt sadness. Sadness at the pain evidently coursing through her body in that moment. She looked small and deflated somehow. He felt astonishingly sober, more’s the pity. He wished he could go to her and hold her but he knew it was the last thing she wanted. Probably what anyone would have wanted. It wouldn’t have helped matters and he wasn’t sure anything he could say now would do that job either. 
 Sarah took in an audible breath and looked at her friend. She blinked back the few tears that had gathered but it only seemed to make things worse. “I’m…sorry. I don’t know what to say.” 
 “I think I’ll just…” Michael pointed to the door and left the table as quickly as he could manage, no doubt to fill Carly in. 
 “Oh my God.” Shanna replied. She put her face in her hands and didn’t move. “I don’t believe this.” 
 Sarah looked beyond Shanna to Lisa who offered her a surprisingly reassuring smile that she was definitely not expecting. Did she feel grateful for it? She had zero clue. “I’m so sorry.” 
 “We don’t have anything to be sorry for, Sarah.” It was the gentlest tone Chris had spoken in all night. “Shan, I know it’s a lot to take in right now but you should know that this wasn’t just some fling or something utterly stupid. There’s a real thing here.” He looked to Sarah for reassurance. “Right?” 
 Sarah couldn’t look him in the eye. 
 “OK, I know I haven’t handled this in the best way-” 
 “-That’s an understatement.” Scott finally found his voice. 
 “-I accept that and for that, I am really sorry, I promise you. But you have to see things from my perspective here.” 
 “Chris, I don’t think that’s what needs to be said right now, OK? Your sister is very upset and I think you should maybe head home to sleep this off. Scott, can you...?” 
Scott nodded in agreement and left the room to grab both their jackets. 
 “Mom, this isn’t-” 
 “-I know.” She held her hand up to stop him. The less he said now, the better. At least until a few hours had been put between them. Chris, resigned, agreed. 
He looked at Sarah again hoping for something, anything, that might make him think things were going to be alright. Lisa noticed the plea in his eyes, practically begging her to look at him. 
“Sarah, sweetheart, you both can stay here tonight. I think we should probably be together for a bit, yeh?” 
 Sarah was flummoxed by the offer but grateful at the same time. She knew Shanna wouldn’t say anything to her if they just went home again, if she would even come back to their apartment at all. She’d shut her bedroom door and not emerge for some time and that would have driven her mad. She wanted to get out of there as fast as she could but…this was perhaps better. Safer. 
 It was going to be a long night. 
 *
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wrestlingisfake · 3 years
Text
AEW Fake Rankings, 9/25/2021
Men's singles division - babyfaces
CM Punk
Bryan Danielson
Jon Moxley (GCW world champion)
Chris Jericho
Cody Rhodes
Darby Allin
Christian Cage (Impact men's world champion)
Eddie Kingston
Orange Cassidy
Brian Pillman, Jr.
Men's singles division - heels
Kenny Omega (AEW men's world champion, AAA mega champion)
Miro (AEW TNT champion)
MJF
Malakai Black
Adam Cole
Andrade El Idolo
Matt Hardy
Powerhouse Hobbs
Shawn Spears
Daniel Garcia*
Unranked: Brian Cage, Dante Martin, Dustin Rhodes, Frankie Kazarian, Feugo Del Sol, Jake Hager, John Silver, Lance Archer, Lee Johnson, Matt Sydal, PAC, QT Marshall
* Not listed on official AEW website roster
A big talking point lately is that AEW's roster has gotten pretty huge. One effect of this expansion is that it's a major pain in the ass for me to keep track of all the wrestlers who mainly compete on the YouTube shows. Going forward, I'll be focusing on the performers who have wrestled in the past 30 days on television or pay-per-views.
There's concern that the big stars from other major-league companies (mostly WWE) will crowd out the wrestlers who came up from the minors. That issue became more clear to me when I put together the above list. Twelve of my men's top 20 came to AEW best known for their WWE runs, and Omega made his name in New Japan. So if you expected AEW to be "the best of the rest," you're left with Darby, Eddie, Orange, Pillman, MJF, Hobbs, Garcia, and a bunch of guys in the background.
We'll have to see if this becomes a problem. I'm optimistic that AEW knows what they're doing, and wrestlers will be regularly cycled into and out of the spotlight. But WWE has conditioned wrestling fans to think that if a wrestler only appears on the C-show, then the bookers have totally given up on them. So I don't blame fans for being skeptical that AEW can find a better way. It's on AEW to prove that guys like Brian Cage, Pac, John Silver, Dante Martin, and Lee Johnson will get their day in the sun. And that's not even getting into the dozens of wrestlers that aren't listed above.
Men's tag team division - babyfaces
Lucha Bros. - Rey Fenix & Penta El 0M (AEW tag team champions, AAA tag team champions)
Santana & Ortiz
Jurassic Express - Luchasaurus & Jungle Boy
Evil Uno & Stu Grayson
Chuck Taylor & Wheeler YUTA*
Men's tag team division - heels
The Young Bucks - Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson
Men of the Year - Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky
FTR - Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood
The Butcher & The Blade
Private Party & Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy
2point0 - Matt Lee & Jeff Parker
TH2 - Jack Evans & Angelico
* Not listed on official AEW website roster
At any given time, AEW has about 16-20 active tag teams, but a lot of them are mainly on Dark and Elevation. Limiting the rankings to teams that have been on real TV in the past month gives us just twelve men's teams. Then again, that's still more than you'll see on most other wrestling shows.
I think it's important that three of the heel teams (Butcher/Blade, Quen/Kassidy, Evans/Angelico) are in Matt Hardy's stable, so it feels like Matt is begging for one of those teams to break away and turn face. The Dark Order also features three teams (Uno/Grayson, John Silver/Alex Reynolds, Alan Angels/Preston Vance), but their storyline about internal problems could break up one or more of those pairings, if not the entire faction. Interestingly, they've started to set up a feud between the entire Hardy Family Office and the sort-of reunited Dark Order, which may be where they blow off a lot of these issues.
Women's division - babyfaces
Ruby Soho
Kris Statlander
Thunder Rosa
Anna Jay
Tay Conti
Hikaru Shida
Big Swole
Riho
Red Velvet
Leyla Hirsch
Women's division - heels
Britt Baker (AEW women's world champion)
Jade Cargill
Nyla Rose
The Bunny
Penelope Ford
Jamie Hayter
Abadon
Diamante*
Unranked: Emi Sakura, Kiera Hogan*, KiLynn King*
* Not listed on official AEW website roster
AEW doesn't do a lot of women's matches on Dynamite and Rampage, but because of the battle royale on the 9/4 pay-per-view some of the overlooked ladies managed to make the cut.
We've seen some alliances forming in this division, which has stoked talk of introducing a women's tag team championship. However, it looks like AEW has other plans, involving a new women's TBS title to complement the men's TNT title.
I don't think the women's roster is deep enough to support any new belts. That doesn't mean I don't want a secondary title or a tag title. I do. But I'm not convinced that introducing a new title will commit AEW to actually push more wrestlers and expand the roster. That commitment is what I really want; new belts are just gravy.
Part-time/semi-retired: Chavo Guerrero Jr., Homicide, Karl Anderson (Impact men's tag team champion), Luke Gallows (Impact men's tag team champion), Mark Henry, Minoru Suzuki, Rebel, Sting, Tully Blanchard, Paul Wight
I don't get the impression that Homicide and Suzuki will be sticking around for very long. Aside from them, all AEW is getting from the "forbidden door" these days is Gallows and Anderson, and all they do lately is stand in the back of Kenny Omega's entourage. These crossovers have been fun and all, but they've been more like Green Lantern/Silver Surfer than JLA/Avengers, if you get my drift.
The Dan Lambert/American Top Team storyline appears to be setting up some kind of match involving Junior dos Santos, Jorge Masvidal, Paige VanZant, and a bunch of other MMA jagoffs I can't be bothered to remember. We'll see if that actually happens, or if they just jerk around about it for another two months.
No TV or PPV matches in 30 days: Aaron Solo, Alan Angels, Alex Reynolds, Anthony Bowens, Austin Gunn, Billy Gunn, Colt Cabana, Colten Gunn, Griff Garrison, Joey Janela, Luther, Marko Stunt, Max Caster, Nick Comoroto, Peter Avalon, Preston Vance, Ricky Starks (FTW champion), Shawn Dean, Sonny Kiss, Wardlow
This doesn't include people like Julia Hart and Serpentico, who regularly appear for AEW but aren't on the official roster and apparently aren't under contract. Regardless, this gives you a good sense of which wrestlers would be the "AEW Dark roster," if we treated it like a separate brand or something. It'll be interesting to check in a few months which of these names are still stuck in this category.
No matches in 30 days: Anthony Ogogo, Brandi Rhodes, Brandon Cutler, Christopher Daniels, Leva Bates, Michael Nakazawa, Sammy Guevara, Yuka Sakazaki
As huge as AEW's roster is, it's impressive that only eight wrestlers are listed here. Guevara has a match set for 9/29, and Daniels is doing a little crossover thing on Impact Wrestling. Brandi just got back from maternity leave, and while I assume she plans to get back in the ring, that remains to be seen. As for the others, it's possible some of these people have injuries or are taking time off, and the details just haven't gotten out.
Inactive
Darius Martin (knee - unspecified ACL injury)
Hangman Page (paternity leave)
Kip Sabian (undisclosed injury)
Serena Deeb (left knee - unspecified injury)
Trent Beretta (neck - herniated intervertebral disc)
The big story here is Page, who was being set up for a major run for Kenny Omega only to suddenly lose his title shot and disappear from the show. That left everyone pretty anxious for Page to get back, especially since a wave of big new stars could crowd him out of his spot. I'm sure AEW knows when Hangman is scheduled to return, but there's no way for any of us to figure it out, which is frustrating.
Trent had neck fusion surgery, which has a notoriously slow recovery time; I don't expect him to be on TV until the middle of 2022. I haven't seen any kind of timetable for Sabian or Martin, probably because there are so few details available about the extent of their injuries.
Deeb had knee surgery in March, returned to the ring in May, and went back on the shelf in July. Evidently she came back too soon, and she's still rehabbing the original knee injury. I worry about that kind of thing when I see Britt Baker (or Impact's Chelsea Green) working through a broken wrist.
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Hello, sorry to bother you but I was just curious about the Scarlett Johansson vs. Disney lawsuit and I saw a lot about it from your tumblr and thought you might know it pretty well. 😅
I read somewhere that she was requesting a 80 million additional pay (which with the addition of her 20 million base salary would be 100 million total) when the simultaneous release was announced, which was based on a hypothetical box office figure similar to Captain Marvel. With the pandemic and all going on, I read a lot of comments saying she was asking for way too much. Added with the supposed Russo brothers' contract worries, I also read comments upset with her for causing this issue.
So I just wanted to ask your opinion on a few things.
1. Do you think there might be a shift in support after more details are released, will people side with Disney more because of the amount asked for during this pandemic?
2. And with more details being released, do you think the lawsuit playing out in public may end up hurting her side more than Disney's?
I just loved reading your previous answers regarding this topic cause it was all so well written and explained, I hope you won't mind me asking this, thank you in advance!
I'm all for her getting her contracts worth but the media releasing articles of how there is no going back for Scarlett and Disney makes me a bit sad we won't be seeing her version of Natasha anymore. Hopefully the whole character doesn't get shelved though.
Hi anon! You're no bother! Thank you for your questions!
I don't know about the $80 million ask based on a hypothetical box office based around Captain Marvel, as I didn't think specific amounts were negotiated before box office actually came to fruition. For example, she earned $15 million up front for Avengers: Endgame, which swelled to $35 million when it earned as much as it did, because back-end deals are based on percentages of revenue (I'm pretty sure). I can imagine the $80 million as a prediction, though. I only know that $50-60 million are the numbers circulating from how much she could win from this lawsuit.
I've seen the same comments "upset with her for causing this issue", and their ignorance is really fascinating to me because she didn't create the issue? Disney created the issue? She's speaking on the issue that's been growing since streaming services were born, she's increasing awareness around this issue, she's putting it in the spotlight. People somehow seem think that holding corporations accountable will mean that they stop producing the media so many enjoy (I legit saw a post that said, almost word for word, "scarlett shouldn't have sued because if disney pays her all that money then they won't have any left for loki season 2" and the stupidity of that statement is breathtaking).
1. Do you think there might be a shift in support after more details are released, will people side with Disney more because of the amount asked for during this pandemic?
No, at this point in the case, I don't think more details will shift allegiances. If people are not already siding with Scarlett, knowing her claims, having read Disney's defence, and realising the larger implications of the case, I don't believe any more information will change that. If she wins, there may be a shift, because people love to say they were right, but otherwise, no.
From what I've seen, and this may just be my corner of the internet, or because discourse has died down a bit, but I would set the support margins at about 60/40 in Scarlett's favour so far. The 40% seems to mainly be made up of people who either are uneducated on the topic, think that being 'problematic' means she deserves mistreatment, or are misogynists. They are accounts with 13 followers arguing in comments sections. Inversely, the 60% is made up of people who matter. She has the support of the industry behind her, the endorsement of her coworkers, and new projects lined up to prove it (e.g. the star-studded Wes Anderson picture and Ghosted with Chris Evans). The Star Wars writers including Alan Dean Foster who went up against Disney last year with similar allegations have also thrown their support behind her.
So I hope you can see where I'm coming from when I say that there may not be a shift, but it doesn't really matter because Disney is not the only hand that feeds her. In fact, the others are eager, it seems.
2. And with more details being released, do you think the lawsuit playing out in public may end up hurting her side more than Disney's?
It's hard to say, anon, but there's a reason Disney's filing for the case to go to arbitration instead of court. They want it settled quietly, because it's making them look bad and from what details we do know, Scarlett's case is legitimate. These lawsuits are compromising their whole "happiest place in the world" family-friendly image. The curtain has been dropped and now that much of their insidiousness is out in the open, it will change how people see them. Many won't let them hide behind Mickey Mouse when they issue statements calling their actors "callous".
However, none of the consequences will lead to the destruction of the Disney corporation or something. It's not going to go up in flames. They'll be fine.
Scarlett is walking a much finer line. As a person instead of a company, and as a woman, she is in a much more vulnerable position (not at all as vulnerable as a woman of colour though). There was a very real possibility that she would be rocking the boat so much that she would fall out and no one would help her back in (also, she's rich, but losing $50 million, probably more, would put a huge dent in her bank account). There's also a reason why she, her team, and her lawyers wanted it public, anon. A) If this was done all very hush hush, it would be a lot harder to hold Disney accountable next time something like this happens. She knows exactly how much this could change things, a cover up would limit the fallout. B) Online backlash matters very little to her. Her lawyers/PR team probably estimated exactly how much support (or lack of thereof) this move would garner, but it's not like tweets saying "scarjo is greedy and selfish" are going to have any bearing in court, so I expect that she remains unbothered. In short, she has more to lose, but her 'side' probably won't be hurt more than Disney's by this.
I'm glad you found those posts informative! I try :)
I know, it's sad that the door on MCU!Natasha is truly shut and bolted. I have the same fears of her being shelved. I just hope they continue with old characters in new animation, like What If...?, and that at some point in the future, the MCU either gets a reboot, or a Black Widow story is curated for the silver screen outside of the Disney-Marvel umbrella.
Sorry this was so long, I struggle with concision. Again, thanks for dropping into my ask box, anon! Hope this was in any way helpful.
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gibelwho · 4 years
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Top 5: Best Films of 2019
2019 was another momentous year for me - spent the first half of the year living at my in-laws house while we waited to move into our forever home, then spending the back half of the year doing house projects as we slowly unpacked. We weren’t consistently heading to the cinema, but we’ve done a race to fit in many more films before the Oscars, which was held this past weekend and where Parasite made history as the first foreign language film to win Best Picture. This is my second year in a row publishing my thoughts on ranking the past year in cinema, so despite the many life changes, excited to keep the tradition going.
Gibelwho Productions Presents Best Films of 2019
5. Marriage Story
4. Parasite
3. Little Women
2 Jojo Rabbit
1917
Marriage Story (November 2019): The film, written and directed by Noah Baumbach, explores the unraveling of a marriage, where the two people are navigating their way through divorce and must forge some sort of ongoing relationship for the sake of their son. The story is an exploration of identity - being part of a couple, emerging as an individual, surviving as a parent, and balancing one’s career. Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver shine in their performances, finding the truth in each scene, displaying the humanity of flawed people, and really going at it during their epic meltdown fight. The supporting cast is stellar as well, delivering moments of humor, ugliness, and empowerment - notably Laura Dern’s speech about society’s different expectations placed on mothers and fathers. Filmed on location in New York and Los Angeles, the story casts a devastating eye on how two people who have separated can still retain some love in the face of heartbreaking agony.
Parasite (October 2019): A film that starts off as a comical exploration of a poor family slowly infiltrating the house of a rich family in Seoul, then shifts halfway through to become a suspenseful thriller with sequences of violence. Co-writer and director Bong Joon-ho explores the nature of the upstairs / downstairs dynamic, not only having the story center on those in service of the rich family, but also with the production design of the two houses featured in the film. The rich family lives far above the main streets in a multi-level home, with stairs that lead up to a beautifully manicured garden; the poor family’s living quarters is in the lower section of town, they live below the streets, and must contend with the danger of flooding. Avoiding spoilers, a third set of staircases hold a secret that ultimately spells danger for both families. This film has made Oscar history and has opened more people up to the world of International cinema; as Joon-ho said so eloquently in one of his acceptance speeches: “Once you overcome the one-inch tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films.”
Little Women (December 2019): Adapting a classic novel for the modern era, especially one that has been relatively recently brought to the silver screen, one must insist on bringing an original take - or why else bother. Writer and director Greta Gerwig not only took on that challenge, but elevated the material to a higher degree than has been achieved in previous adaptations. Splitting up the linear story into two timelines allowed a commentary on the past and present that gave more life to the characters and depth to their journeys. Having never read Little Women, I was enchanted by discovering these characters brought to life by a terrific ensemble, including Saoirse Ronan, Florence Pugh, and Timothee Chalamet. Additionally, Gerwig pens an ambiguous ending that will satisfy book readers who felt betrayed by character turns that Louisa May Alcott felt pressured to deliver for publishers in 1868, but that didn’t feel true to her character’s spirit.
Jojo Rabbit (October 2019): Imagine writer and director Taika Waititi pitching his adapted screenplay to studio executives: a story that centers on a young boy growing up in Nazi Germany, who attends the Hitler Youth camp, and whose invisible friend is Adolf Hitler himself. Oh yes, and it will be a comedy, tragedy, hopeful, heartbreaking, hilarious, and shocking - dancing between the shades of tones and the audience will follow along with each beat. What makes this film succeed is the casting of Roman Griffin Davis, who despite his love for swastikas, steals the heart of the viewer with his earnest innocence and hilarious delivery, along with his interaction with his little friend Yorki (Archie Yates), his Hitler Youth leader (Sam Rockwell), and the Jewish girl he finds hidden in the upstairs bedroom (Thomasin McKenzie). Waititi is a genius filmmaker, who took all his Marvel Cinematic Universe clout and made a film about the dangers of youth growing up in the time of fascism, preaching an anti-hate message that the world needs to be reminded of in these nationalistic times.
1917 (December 2019): A film that centers on one technical conceit - that a full length feature film is constructed as one continuous shot - could fall under the weight of that enterprise, but 1917 delivers on all fronts - artistically, emotionally, and yes, technically. While the film is not actually one long shot, whole sequences are sustained for minutes on end, an environment more accustomed to theater actors than those working in film and one that brings a weight of reality to the character’s journey. Due to the story - two men must cross No Man’s Land to deliver an urgent message to a general that could save thousands of lives - the leads are constantly moving, through trenches, across the muddy no man’s land, through fields and streams, and finally the battlefield. The camera follows them through tight interior spaces and open fields, finding inventive ways to track their movements in the war zone. The two leads (George MacKay and Dean-Charles Chapman) deliver incredible performances as they slog through the countryside, encountering incredible British actors for short, yet powerful, scenes along the way. Co-writer and director Sam Mendes leads an incredible team that achieves cinematic glory and Roger Deakins proves for the second year in a row that he is producing the best work of his career. 1917 is not a traditional war film - through its formal choices, it endeavors to place the viewer directly inside the experience of soldiers in the First World War.
Honorable Mentions: 
Knives Out (November 2019): A classic whodunit that involves a twist of all twists - solving the mystery halfway through the film; what can the movie possibly spend the rest of the runtime on? This is the genius of writer and director Rian Johnson - he somehow manages to ratchet up the tension and reveal deeper twists and turns that subvert genre expectations. A stellar cast supports the murder mystery, led by Ana de Armas, a lighthearted Jamie Lee Curtis who is chewy the scenery, and a broad performance by Daniel Craig as the lead investigator. Chris Evans’ winter sweater became the breakout star of the film and the production design included an epic knives sculpture that plays a vital role in the climax of the film. 
Terminator: Dark Fate (November 2019): I am not a huge fan of the Terminator franchise - I’ve seen the first and second installments, but have skipped the rest of the sequels and never went for the television shows. I entered the viewing of this film with low expectations, and thus was pleasantly surprised by how feminist this film is. Linda Hamilton commands every moment of screen time, the enhanced human protector from the future was an incredible mix of strength and vulnerability, and even when Arnold enters the picture, he knows when to stand back when the women are in command. Yes, there is a totally ridiculous action sequence in a falling plane that defines reality and physics, but there are more moments of women communicating intelligently and emotionally and also women taking command and driving the action forward that fully impressed for what could have been a throwaway addition to the Terminator canon. 
Avengers Endgame (April 2019): With this film, the MCU has concluded its first major story arc, wrapping up a 10 years long buildup of the Avengers and affiliated heroes fighting the Mad Titan Thanos in an epic battle. Yes, the film does build up to a climactic final battle, but it takes it’s time getting there, choosing instead to focus on how the character’s we’ve grown to love over the past decade deal with the Snap that killed friends and family and left the world a broken place. The plot really gets moving when a time travel element is introduced and, in one of several lovely tributes to my beloved Star Trek, brings the viewer back through memorable moments in the MCU’s history, layering on meta commentary or radically changing the shape of the past. This film was a bold risk to focus on character over spectacle (at least for a while) and to craft a fitting tribute for the two titans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe - Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.
Apollo 11 (March 2019): The American space program of the 1960s has long held a fascination in our household and so we rushed out to see the documentary that promised new footage for the seminal event that landed a man on the moon. To our delight, the film revealed itself to be a cinematic achievement as well. Director Todd Douglas Miller chose not to narrate the film with an omniscient voice; rather, choosing to fill the audio landscape with diegetic sound from contemporary source material - journalists asking questions in a press conference, back and forth between the astronauts and NASA headquarters, and newscasters reporting the progress to the nation. Some of the shots included in this film, all archival footage and some newly released 70mm material, are so beautifully composed and complex shots; it's an astonishment that this thoughtful filmmaking was done to capture one of the nation’s greatest achievements and this documentary honors that effort on its 50th anniversary.
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agentnico · 4 years
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Knives Out (2019) Review
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“I suspect...foul play. And I eliminate no suspect!”
Plot: When renowned crime novelist Harlan Thrombey is found dead at his estate just after his 85th birthday, the inquisitive and debonair Detective Benoit Blanc is mysteriously enlisted to investigate. From Harlan's dysfunctional family to his devoted staff, Blanc sifts through a web of red herrings and self-serving lies to uncover the truth behind Harlan's untimely death.
I do enjoy myself a good Agatha Christie/Arthur Conan Doyle style whodunnit mystery-murder tale. Wish I were allowed to indulge on a pipe or a cigar whilst watching the movie to achieve full immersion, however unfortunately cinemas don’t allow smoking during screenings. In any case, I saw Knives Out nonetheless, and I must say it was a nice callback to a genre that has not been so prominent in cinema as of late. One can include the recent Murder On the Orient Express, however not going to lie, I was disappointed in director Kenneth Branagh’s efforts on that one, we’ll see if any improvements show in next year’s sequel Death on the Nile. Knives Out however is not even based on any novel, but in fact is an original mystery written and directed by Rian Johnson. Alright, alright, calm you angry lightsabers, just because the man made one franchise film that caused an outrage amongst a very easily-annoyed fan base doesn’t mean he cannot make any decent films. Some may remember that Johnson is the guy behind Looper. And with Knives Out he is definitely back in his comfort zone with a very entertaining thriller right in time for the holiday season.
Knives Out won’t really stand the test of time but does add some original ideas to a familiar formula. We all know the deal - some person gets killed and then we are left with a ray of possible suspects and a quirky detective sleuth stuck in the middle of it all attempting to untangle this web of lies to find out the truth. Knives Out has pretty much the same story-line however with a modern spin, having the film make fun at certain stereotypical tropes of the genre as well as revealing certain clues much earlier than anticipated. In fact, the movie seemingly reveals the outcome of the mystery quite early on within the film, leaving us to instead enjoy the characters within the film try to piece everything together whilst we already know many of the facts. It’s an interesting way to tell the narrative, and though I wouldn’t say the film’s resolution is as exciting as I was hoping for it to turn out, Rian Johnson’s directing and a very game cast make this a breezy watch.
Johnson has indeed assembled quite the cast to be our suspects. And with such a star-studded fest there aren’t actually that many stand-outs, since everyone is doing such a solid job that everyone ends up being on the same level of good. However, there are a few names that do leave an impression. Daniel Craig knocks out a hell of a Southern accent which gives him that extra unique edge as the detective on the case. He gets some of the meatiest lines to chew on, and his manner of speech make his dialogue the more memorable. Christopher Plummer reminds us how much of a great actor he is and that age is no reason to stop being great. Heck, he’s the victim who gets killed at the beginning of this whole thing, so even though he’s not in the film much, he still leaves an impression. Then there is Ana de Armas (such a beauty!) who most would know from her roles in Blade Runner 2049 and War Dogs, and she definitely has the most interesting roles amongst all, that very much gives her the opportunity to flex the different emotions. If anyone is to get more roles due to this movie it is her. In fact its already proving to be true with her being a Bond girl next year! In terms of the rest of the cast, Toni Collette and Michael Shannon get some moments to shine, however Chris Evans and Jamie Lee Curtis, though not terrible, do still have the weight of their big franchises clinging on to them that stop them from properly getting into a new character. My friend even described Chris Evans in this film as “Captain America with an attitude” and it is kind of true. He’s still the pretty boy who’s the coolest lad in the room, only this time he’s not afraid to tell people around him to eat sh*t. That being said, there are certain scenes where he is truly enthralling to watch. Also, let’s talk about Katherine Langford. I do not like her. Look, she might have had a one-off good performance in Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why, but outside of that she’s still yet to prove herself as an actress. The recently released deleted scene of her role in Avengers: Endgame on Disney+ showed what was to be a very emotional scene, however due to her bland performance ended up being an emotionless dud. In Knives Out too, she is just bland. There’s nothing to her. I agree, I might sound harsh, but I want to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. Especially because Daniel Craig is on the case!
Knives Out is definitely one to go out and see. With the narrative playing out in a house that is rightly likened to a giant Cluedo board, its entertainment for both families and friends. The attention to detail is impeccable, so enjoy capturing all the clues and finding out who killed legendary actor Christopher Plummer! Maybe it was Kevin Spacey’s revenge for his stolen role in All the Money In the World!
Overall score: 7/10
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brendanmoviedate · 4 years
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Yer fond of me lobster ain’t ye?
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Another year, another broken promise that I’d write more often. I’m not going to fool myself going forward and expect I’ll be able to keep up with reviewing every movie I see. However, I’ll continue to write my year-end movie review and perhaps a couple here and there when I feel inspired. 
Looking back to last year’s post, I wouldn’t make too many changes, though I would certainly move Into the Spider-verse slightly higher up. I would also consider adding Upgrade to the list for how brazen it is.
Most of the films I called out as ones to watch for 2019 ended up being either on my list or in the composite image, which goes to show that it’s worth getting excited for new films more often than not.
Vancouver being the way that it is, sometimes we don’t get timely releases of films when other cities do. As a result, I haven’t had a chance to see 1917 and Uncut Gems yet. The latter of which I’ve been dying to see for months and would probably feature on this list. 
Here’s the 10 best films I’ve seen from 2019:
10. John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum
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Whereas John Wick: Chapter 2 was the perfect escalation of its pared down predecessor, Chapter 3 is merely an excellent continuation of the newly minted franchise. However, while not bringing anything entirely new to the world of John Wick, it is still an intensely entertaining film. The first 20 minutes is some of the best fight choreography in the series to date and enough to secure a spot on this list.
9. Long Day’s Journey into Night
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From director Bi Gan, Long Day’s Journey into Night is a noirish drama about a man (Huang Jue) returning to his hometown following the death of his father to track down his lost love (Tang Wei). The film is a slow burn that jumps between past and present before descending into a surreal 60 minute single take shot filmed in 3D. Regretfully, the only screening I could attend was entirely 2D, but nonetheless, the sequence was still enthralling. This is the type of film that proves that spectacle doesn’t necessarily need to be tied to tentpole movies.
8.  Booksmart
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Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut suggests she has an effortless understanding of comedy. Written by a quartet of female writers, Booksmart feels like Superbad for a new generation (I can’t believe that film came out 12 years ago). Interestingly, Jonah Hill’s sister, Beanie Feldstein stars, alongside Kaitlyn Dever (daughter of the guy that voiced Barney the Purple Dinosaur). While it would be easy to say it’s “the female Superbad,” Booksmart is in fact much more than that. Replacing the misfits trying to get laid story with one about a pair of overachievers realizing almost too late that there’s more to life than good grades lets the film be looser and allows the comedy to happen more naturally. 
7. Midsommar
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Ari Aster’s follow-up to 2018′s Hereditary began filming almost immediately after wrapping post-production on his previous film. As a result, Midsommar has that extra layer of a director exhausting himself by putting everything on the screen. Midsommar is a much more mature work than Hereditary and one that took a while to grow on me. My initial reaction was less enthusiastic than it is now, but it’s one of the films from 2019 that has stuck with me the most. I imagine a second watch or the extended director’s cut might raise my appreciation of it even more. 
Florence Pugh gives a knockout performance that when combined with her roles in Little Women and last year’s Little Drummer Girl prove that she’ll be a star in no time.
6. Knives Out
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Rian Johnson’s first post-Star Wars film sees him reinvigorated and working with a bigger name cast than he has in the past. Essentially a whodunnit along the lines of Agatha Christie, Knives Out follows Daniel Craig’s southern-fried detective Benoit Blanc as he investigates the murder of a wealthy publisher (Christopher Plummer). In addition to playing with a few plot twists, Johnson includes a couple of structure twists as well that turn the film on its head. 
In addition to Craig’s hammy performance, other standouts include Ana de Armas and Chris Evans as the publisher’s caregiver and grandson, respectively. 
Johnson has hinted at the possibility of more Benoit Blanc mysteries, and as long as Daniel Craig is onboard, I’ll gladly watch them.
5. The Lighthouse
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In Robert Eggers’ followup to The Witch, Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson play a pair of lighthouse keepers in isolation. As would be expected, The Lighthouse is a paranoia-fuelled chamber piece, with Dafoe’s gruff experienced lighthouse keeper getting on the nerves of the younger Pattinson. And while this setup allows the two leads a chance to really dig into the 19th century dialects, the film takes the occasional departure into the eldritch for a very unsettling film. 
As with Black Philip in The Witch, there’s a standout animal character in The Lighthouse - fittingly, a seagull.
4. Once Upon a Time ...in Hollywood
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Quentin Tarantino’s presumably penultimate film is perhaps his most mature work, ruminating on the idea of legacy and the film industry as a whole. Once Upon a Time ...in Hollywood is almost a Tarantino hangout movie reminiscent of parts of Jackie Brown and Pulp Fiction. A lot of time is spent on scenes that don’t necessarily lead to the film’s climax, but allow the characters room to breathe and feel real. Other than the historical event hinted at throughout the movie, the film doesn’t seem to have a particular direction, which allows you to live in the lives of these characters more than if it was purely plot driven.
The main cast of Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, and Margo Robbie is great, but it’s Pitt who puts in a career best performance. There’s a quietness and a sadness to his character that brings some added depth to an otherwise bold cast.
3. Ad Astra
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Brad Pitt’s other great performance this year is in James Gray’s Ad Astra. Having seen Gray’s The Lost City of Z and purposefully avoiding trailers and reviews, my expectation for this film was a reflective voyage centred around the ideas of obsession, loss, and family. All of these ideas were present in Ad Astra, but the real surprise was how seamlessly a space opera was added into the story. I never thought I’d see a lunar shuttle chase, but I’m glad I did.
The amount of casual sci-fi world building in the film is staggering, with entire premises treated as banal. We get to see Pitt’s Clifford McBride travel from Earth to the Moon mundanely on a commercial flight. Most films would take the opportunity to spoon feed to the audience why this is odd, but Ad Astra treats it as normal as the characters do, making it all the more fascinating.
2. The Farewell
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Starring Awkwafina, who has quickly shot to stardom after featuring in Crazy Rich Asians, The Farewell gives the actress the chance to stretch her dramatic muscles playing Billi, who returns to China to visit with her grandmother who has cancer. Billi’s family insists on keeping the grandmother’s illness a secret from her so she can live out her life in happiness, while Billi struggles with the morals of lying to her grandmother. This premise allows for not only the comedy of misunderstanding, a staple in comedy, but also emotional tension and the devastation of preparing to send off a loved one. 
The comedy-drama balance is handled expertly by director Lulu Wang, making The Farewell the movie I both cried at and laughed at the most this year.
1. Parasite
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Had you told me a couple of months ago that my picking Parasite as the best movie of the year could be considered a safe choice, I would have scoffed. Yet here we are, and Parasite has widely been hailed as the best film of the year. I suppose in hindsight it’s not hard to see why. It’s both a crowd-pleasing film and a film that’s deeply disturbing and thrilling.
After having seen Bong Joon-ho’s last five movies, one would be forgiven for expecting a linearity in Parasite. Most of his films tend to have a point A to point B element with an expected (though often subverted) outcome. Heck, Snowpiercer is about a group of people moving from the back of the train to the front, one car at a time. Yet Parasite is different. The film sets up a premise you only find out about as it happens and is quickly overturned once you’re comfortable with it.
I saw this movie the same day I saw Joker and the difference in how the subject matter of class is treated is stark. Whereas Joker wanted to go all dark and Taxi Driver with the theme, Parasite had fun with it and let the elements of drama, comedy, and horror slide along the theme of class.
Like Bong’s Memories of Murder, Parasite will be one of those films I endlessly revisit.
Honourable Mentions
Films that almost cracked the Top 10 that I wanted to shout out here are Us and Doctor Sleep for being really solid, exciting, horror-thrillers. As well as The Irishman for being a classic Scorcese film that gives De Niro and Pacino ample time to with each other. Finally, I wanted to applaud Avengers: Endgame for not only managing to pull off such an ambitious finale, but to make it so goddamned fun.
2020
This year I’m looking forward to new blockbusters from two of my favourite directors, Christoper Nolan and Denis Villeneuve - Tenet and Dune, respectively. 
Despite the stumble with Spectre, I’m extremely excited for Daniel Craig’s last outing as Bond with No Time to Die, by auteur Cary Fukunaga. I can’t wait to see how his style meshes with the Bond template. 
Also of great interest are the new films from David Fincher and Edgar Wright - Mank and Last Night in Soho.
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northlandian · 5 years
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Final Thoughts
So this is it. 
Endgame is 1000% complete. The premiere was last night, and in less than 48 hours, it will be released to the public. Well, at least for me, in about...
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(Yes, I have a countdown on my phone that’s been set up since last year that goes until Thursday, April 25, 2019, at 6:00pm)
I wanted to make a post about my predictions. Something I could come back to, so I could see if I was right or wrong. I remember doing that last year with some of my favourite fan artists and laughing at their prospective situations that turned out to be true.
But you see, the truth is... I have absolutely no idea what to expect. And that's not just a cheap copout of me saying "It's a Marvel movie, therefore anything can happen". We know nothing. Literally nothing. The trailers are compilations of repetitive clips revealing nothing past the first 20 minutes of a 3-hour 2-minute movie. We don't even know the films true plot.
Is there a time jump? Do they time travel? Why are they splitting up into teams, seeing how well that proved to work last time? How is Scott saved? Tony and Nebula? And what is their plan?
I don't know. I really don't. All any of us can do is take shots in the dark. RDJ said it himself that it is near impossible to predict what's going to happen.
So that got me thinking about something I've considered pretty much since the debut of the first trailer...this movie is unpredictable...but there are some assumptions we've been making that we are assuming as a fact are going to happen.
But then there are also moments that I believe deserve to happen. Story arcs that need to be completed. Endings certain characters deserve.
So, drawn-out intros aside, here are my final thoughts on this movie.
Tony
Tony is an enigma. I've made a post in the past discussing why he might actually not die based on the chess motif and the necessity to save him as the "King", despite the fact that death is what we'd all expect. I'll be honest, when the first trailer came out, I thought to myself, "Wow. They're really trying to prep us for the heartbreak by shoving this foreshadowing down our throats.” 
Obviously, this is based on the first half of the first trailer, with him adrift in space. I thought that maybe Captain Marvel would be the one to save him, or maybe Pepper in her rescue armour that was seen a couple months ago from a set photo. But how would they know where he was?
But after the second trailer debuted, I think I'm going to make the assumption that it is, in fact, Nebula, with her spare bodily robotic parts, who saves the two of them and brings them back to earth. I'm also going to assume that the scene from the trailers of Steve and the rest looking up at the night sky outside the compound (if that scene is even real) is them seeing Tony and Nebula arriving back to earth. Though I have considered the possibility of the space ship recording scene actually taking place at the end of the move...which would suck. But I'm also going to assume, based on the third trailer and clips that followed of Steve and Tony together, that they actually do reunite, in the present time.
Of course, this does not excuse him from the possibility of dying at all. And he very well could. But then, another thought crossed my mind. In Infinity War, the first time we see Tony on screen is with Pepper, discussing their wedding and possible children. See...why would they foreshadow that if they were to never make reference of it again? Sure, there's a possibility of a time jump with perhaps a wedding and maybe kid squeezed in there. After all, the whole vibe we're given from the second trailer is the question of where the world is supposed to go from the tragedy endured, and how some move on (then Steve of course says "but not us" but anyways). But that's only with the off chance that there is a time jump, and it seems kind of off in the first place. So assuming the foreshadowing wasn't for no reason, I'd like to think that there's a chance he lives long enough to retire and have a kid. 
Tony and Pepper mentioning a kid isn't the only foreshadowing given for his survival, though. There was one line from Avengers that always stuck with me, and sort of got overshadowed by Tony's narcissistic but hilarious description of himself ("Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."). It comes when Steve is criticizing Tony's character and motivation. He says:
"You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play. To lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you."
To which Tony immediately responds:
"I think I would just cut the wire."
Time and time again, Tony has proven Steve wrong, the first obviously being when he flew through the wormhole in the same movie. But what if this is his play in this one too? To be presented with a one-or-the-other choice for who can be saved, but manages to do both? Alternatively, this could also play out to the opposite of our favour; maybe Tony does finally just crawl over the wire for someone. For example, I've pictured a scenario where they do indeed go back in time to retrieve the stones before Thanos does. It's a plausible situation, considering we know nothing of their plan. But when it comes time to retrieve the soul stone, it's Tony who decides to make the sacrifice. Maybe he argues over it with Steve, who would want to finish what he started with Red Skull and complete the fate he was given 70 years ago, but ultimately Tony forces him to comply to what he wants, which is to finally make the ultimate sacrifice. 
(And for the record, if either of those situations plays out, I'm suing Marvel for emotional distress)
But there's one other option, and it's based on a line spoken by Tony in the trailer that really stuck out to me. It was when he was leaving his message to Pepper in the second trailer, and it's where he says:
"I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping to pull off one last one."
At first thought, I thought it may be like a "Surprise, honey! I'm not dead, and I've returned to earth to help defeat that giant grape!" sort of thing. And maybe it is. But I've also considered the possibility of Tony tricking someone or something. Perhaps tricking those into thinking he was dead. He did do it in Iron Man 3. But then again...who knows.
Sidenote: That's the end of my first thought and everything on Tony, and I have, like, *at least* twelve more to go. I was not expecting this to be this huge. Whoops.
Steve
It is so hard to get a read on what the hell is happening with this damn character. On one hand, Chris Evans has been talking for the longest time as if we all already know that his characters dead, with the way he speaks about his wrap-up with Marvel in general. But then there are people like the Russo's who say they have things in store that we don't know about yet. Like what?? Who do we believe? Are they just trying to cover up his obviousness? Or are we, again, making predictions that we shouldn't because this movie is actually so unpredictable??
Obviously, I don't know what's going to happen. What I will say is, I know what the fanbase expects, and that's for him to die. But again, just like in Tony's case, if that's one of the top expected outcomes, isn't it less likely going to happen?
Personally, I'm in favour of one specific theory many fans have contemplated and considered. The theory is that Steve, whether it be a result of the plot or by choice, goes back in time to the '40s, and that's where he lives out the rest of his life. He has his dance with Peggy, something foreshadowed so many times, including in the trailers, and they end up living together happily, and he endures the life he always wanted before going in the ice - that is how he phrased it at the end of Age of Ultron. So yes, he would most likely be "dead" in the present day from old age, as would Peggy (since she had already died in Civil War), but he would live out the life he always wanted.
OR - and I just thought of this now, literally as I'm writing - get this. He goes back to live in the '40s. But in present day, he's still alive, just very old. The Avengers (or whoever's left) go to see him by the end of the movie, maybe even during the after credits. And...it's Stan Lee. He is Steve Rogers. His final cameo.
(This seems highly unlikely, but the thought amused me. I also can't remember if the super soldier serum allows you to age properly in normal circumstances, but I don't wanna look it up at the risk of running into spoilers. Oh well, unresearched theory is unresearched.)
Thor
Don't get me wrong, I am still very much in the mindset of:
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But if I'm being completely honest, yes, Thor, just like every other O6, the God of Thunder known by humans for his immortality, has a chance of not making it. With talks of a Thor 4 with dir. Taika Waititi, it seems unlikely, but the chance is still there. And it did get me thinking...
Loki telling him before his death, "The sun will shine on us again"...did he mean in Valhalla? I have had the thought of Thor possibly biting it, but then a scene where we see him there, reuniting with Loki, Heimdall, Frigga...even Odin. His loved ones. The ones he thought he could not go on without, finally being together again, him being happy in the afterlife.
It's a sucky thought, but a possible one.
Loki
Soooo...here we are. I'm not going over my whole freaking theory again, but I stand by what I wrote. Including the portion with the disclaimer where I established that I could be totally wrong.
But a possibility I also totally support is one where he is brought back with time travel. Why would he have a poster if he doesn't make a reappearance? What that reappearance is, I have no idea. Maybe, just like the comics, he does purposely bring the Avengers together in New York. Or maybe it's something heartfelt at the end, where time has rolled back, and it's immediately following Ragnarok. Thor is aware of the reverse, and everything that's happened, and Loki saunters into the dressing room again and makes the comment on Thor's eyepatch, but Thor is just so happy to see him, that he just hugs him, as it was foreshadowed in Ragnarok, and all is well, and they live happily ever after in Norway on Earth ruling Asgard together...
Idk. Just a thought.
A Cinematic Parallel
So this was just something I noticed when comparing the Infinity War and Endgame trailers.
So remember in the Infinity War trailer, where we see Tony just sitting with his hands folded over and we were like "huh wonder why they're covered in dirt", and then it turned out it was cause Peter just died, and it was his dust, and we all had a good laugh/cry when looking back on it.
Well...you know that moment in the Endgame trailer when Steve is covered in what looks to be sweat and dirt and he tightens his shield around his arm or something, and looks to be in extreme anguish over...something?
Well... I think that's our one glimpse at the end, just as Tony's was in the Infinity War trailer. I think someone just died in that moment.
That's literally it for that.
Death
We don't know who's going to die. We don't. And we don't know how. But that fact that the Russo's, Paul Rudd, and Chris Evans have been openly joking about character deaths is a definite indicator that whoever and however they go is not going to be mainstream. Like, I don't think it's going to be a Loki-type death, or the Tony-almost-death, where the character is just too overpowered by Thanos, or whoever else, and they die as a result. It's going to be complex. Or a decision the character makes that is self-sacrificing. Or something similar to the Steve time travel theory. But whatever it is, it is likely incredibly hard to guess.
Time Travel
The theories of time travel that have been circulating since the debut of Ant-Man and the Wasp are still just that - theories. I'll be honest, I'm still not 100% sure how the quantum realm can possibly assist them, other than getting them stuck in a time vortex. And even still, the operators of said quantum realm machine are dusted. That's all we have to go off of; that, obvious hair and suit changes throughout the trailers and set photos, and, of course, the fact that there are limited options as to how they can actually succeed at this point.
The Suits
Honestly, I just included this section to make fun of their new suits some more. They are so freaking ugly, it's hilarious. I remember when the photos of them were first leaked, everyone laughed and said it was too ugly to be real, yet HERE WE ARE.
So you can imagine how hard I laughed when I saw the second trailer for the first time, and how conflicted I was over how cool their "walk" was, but how gross the suits were.
Some actual memes I saved before the official release of the suits:
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Bonus: Something I saved literally last November. And we're about to find out in less than two days...God, I'm not ready.
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Prospective Scenes
There were a couple of scenes other than those I've already listed that would be incredibly satisfying to see.
Firstly, Tony and Pepper's wedding.
I always pictured it as the after credits scene. A final symbol of rest, retirement, and relaxation for Tony. And everyone's there, too. The rest of the O6, but also Peter and May, Happy, Rhodey, Sam, Wanda, the Guardians, T'Challa, Shuri, and their friends, Bucky, Dr. Strange (both reluctantly), Wong (of course), and the rest of their friends and (remaining) family. Everyone's watching as the shot is on them. And standing behind them, telling Tony he may kiss the bride, is the minister - Stan Lee. His final cameo.
(Or at least the one I originally had in mind).
The perfect ending for the perfect character arc. And oh, how unlikely it is to happen.
I'm also curious to know, now that it's confirmed, how the story will reintroduce Valkyrie, who happens to be one of my favourite characters, and also who may have escaped with her (hopefully with one of my other favourite characters...).
But there is a scene which we know for a fact is going to happen, and may have gotten a glimpse of during the final trailer, with the shot of Rocket and Nebula sitting somberly and holding hands. It's Rocket finding out that the other Guardian's didn't survive. Since separating from the other Guardians in Infinity War, Rocket did not know of their outcome, and there was no one to relay the message. That...is going to be heartbreaking to watch. Especially after seeing Rocket's character development in GOTG 2.
Prospective Dialogue
Just like certain scenes, there are lines that would be amazing to hear from specific characters.
The first, and probably most popular and obvious, is, of course:
"Avengers Assemble"
If Cap doesn't finally deliver this line with so much passion in this goddamned movie...
But then there was also a line of my personal preference that I really wanted to be heard in the movie, especially if it was said by either Tony, or Steve, or both of them to Thanos. And it's...:
"Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it."
Which is why I was SO HYPED BUT ANNOYED when I heard it in the trailer because so much of that content isn't going to make it into the movie.
I guess we'll see.
The Stones
So a common...what would you call it...theme, I guess? I've noticed is the correlation between the Avengers and the infinity stones. There are, of course, the six original Avengers left, and six stones. Each Avenger happens to almost perfectly fit into the representation of each stone.
Thor is the Space Stone - Probably most obvious. The Tesseract came from his family, and he has done space travel all his life.
Steve is the Time Stone - As he is "the man out of time".
Banner is the Mind Stone - A scientific genius, yet can't control his own mind.
Barton is the Reality Stone - He conceals his reality - his family - from the rest of his life and his world.
Natasha is the Power Stone - Often viewed as the weak link, even by allies (ie. Scott in Civil War), yet probably one of the strongest and most powerful team members, both physically, and mentally.
And finally - Tony is the Soul Stone - The godfather and soul of the team.
I don't know what this means for Endgame, if it means anything at all. It was just something I noticed.
Fate
There is one last theme I've come to notice throughout the original six, and it's the fact that each of them had their fate severely altered, almost unnaturally, to end up where they are in Endgame.
Tony, of course, almost died in a cave after being kidnapped by terrorists. He only built the Mark 1 suit to escape, and nearly died in the process of that. If he did not go to Afghanistan for the weapons presentation, not only would he not be Iron Man, but he would not be with Pepper, and he would still be manufacturing weapons - or worse, Obidiah would've had him killed another way.
Steve, of course, was selected to be the test subject of the super soldier serum, but that's not what altered his fate. He was destined for that for his grit and determination alone. His fate was altered when he survived something he shouldn't have - When he came out of the ice alive. None - and I mean none - of the events within the Avengers, SHIELD, or anything could have happened if he had died as he was supposed to.
With Bruce, you'd think I would refer to his gamma experiment in general, but that's not it either. That was also destined, similar to Steve's experiment. His is mentioned more briefly in Avengers, and it's the fact that he tried to kill himself. His attempt backfired, as he says he immediately transformed into the Hulk and thus, survived. But his intent was there, and if not for the quick reflexes and will to live of the Hulk (something that was NOT demonstrated in Infinity War, mind you), he would be gone.
Clint's and Natasha's basically go hand-in-hand. In Avengers, we find out that Clint was sent to kill Natasha, as she was part of the KGB. Natasha, in return, would have to try and kill Clint, not that it would have been different from any other enemy of theirs at the time. But because Clint made the call to try and reason with her and get her to turn, they both came out alive rather than the false dichotomy of a situation that would have left at least one of them dead.
And finally, there's Thor. His is a bit trickier to pinpoint because although he's been in death-defying situations, it's unclear if he's ever come close to death like a mortal would. But it's Thor who actually describes this fate that got me thinking about this theme in the first place, as he tells Rocket in Infinity War:
"You know, I'm 1500 years old. I've killed twice as many enemies as that, and every one of them would have rather killed me, but none succeeded. I'm only alive because fate wants me alive."
Fate wants him alive. And apparently it wants the other five alive as well. Otherwise, three of them would be dust, based on probability of the snap. But all six of them remain.
Again, I have no idea what this means for Endgame. I'm just pointing out what I believe to be significant.
Wow, so those are a lot more thoughts than I thought I'd have...this took about 3 hours to write, lol. So I think I'm going to leave it at that, and find out what happens on Thursday. I am in no way ready for it to all be over. And I've never been so terrified to watch a movie. And I've never had to consider that this might be the final 48 hours of a characters life.
This is going to be big. And I can't wait. But goddamn I am so scared.
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Woke up in Japan - S.S.
Youngblood Series
Sebastian Stan x Reader
'It's enough to let the night let go of me. A few steps into the open doorway. Heart pounding, there's a noise complaint from room 304.'
Word Count: 2,008
Warnings: Mentions of smut (nothing too descriptive), swearing
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Sebastian shifted on the soft sheets, groaning as the sun was shining directly onto his face. He rubbed his eyes and sat up slowly. His head was pounding, pain shooting across his spine. "What the f-" His own groan of pain interrupted him. Did he really had that much last night?
Leaning his back against the headboard of the hotel bed, he took a deep breath. As he shifted slightly, he only realized that he wasn't, in fact, wearing any clothes. That was new. When he was drunk, he either still managed to at least get rid of his pants and jacket, or he would just pass out in his suit. He never had the energy to get completely naked. Grabbing the water bottle from his bedside table, he tried to remember the events of last night.
~
"This is amazing!" A bright smile was on your face as your eyes flew over the tons of neon lights and colorful shops. Sebastian grinned at you, amused by your excitement. "Never been to Japan?" You shook your head, your eyes barely blinking out of fear to miss something. "Never had the time or possibilities to." "I offered you a thousand times to join me on a trip!" Chris Evans, your older brother, came up beside you to throw his arm over your shoulder. "I have a job as well. Be happy that i could convince my boss to give me a week off. They're going down without me, I'm holding the whole company up." You retorted with fake arrogance, making both men laugh.
Chris had introduced you to basically everyone of his marvel coworkers. They were all very sweet to you, but since the beginning you've been closest with Sebastian. He was a real gentleman, always making sure you were okay when Chris wasn't there to do the job. What you didn't know was that he did it because he had a tiny crush on you.
You had spend the first days exploring the city while your brother and friends were busy with their press tour. You tried to spend as much time as possible with them though. "How does a bar sound?" Robert suggested one evening, earning agreement from everyone. "Is Holland even old enough to drink?" You asked grinning, earning an angry glance from Tom while everyone else laughed. Even though you were only a couple years older as him, you liked to treat him like a 16 year old, just like everyone else.
The bar you decided on wasn't too crowded. You all sat down in two booth, you in the middle of one between Sebastian and Chris. "Shots for everyone!" Jeremy cheered. "I'm taking yours, you're definitely not getting wasted here." Chris said to you as the drinks arrived. You shot him a glare before taking his shot as well as yours, downing them at the same time. You coughed a little as your throat burned, but the look on Chris' face was worth it. "I like her." Sebastian grinned as he downed his shot as well, making you laugh.
This was just the beginning.
~
The memory of Chris' face made Sebastian chuckle. He's never seen the guy so shocked. Sebastian never imagined you to be a girl who could take a lot of Alcohol, but you proved him. wrong last night. He shook his head, grinning. He quickly regained himself, trying to remember what happened later.
~
"You don't think you've had enough?" Sebastian chuckled beside you as you tried to find the straw of your cocktail with your lips. You just scoffed at him. "I'm fine."
The group of people has already gotten smaller. Most of them, including your brother, already left. But not before telling Sebastian to look after you. Which was a dumb idea since Sebastian was just as drunk as you.
"Y'know, this was a great evening, but we should call it a night." Robert suggested, downing the rest of his beer. You all nodded in agreement, downing the rest of your drinks as well before making your way back to the hotel which, luckily, wasn't too far away. But the way was harder than you thought. Sebastian and you constantly clung onto each other, trying to keep on walking while giggling. The rest of the group was busy keeping themselves to walk straight.
"I can bring you to your room." Sebastian suggested as you arrived at the hotel, grinning down at you. You broke down in giggles. "We're on the same floor. On the same hallway" "Ohh yeah I forgot." Sebastian replied, laughing as well.
As you reached the third floor, you stopped at his door. "Here we are." He simply said, not making a move to open the door. "Here we are." You repeated, nodding. "The night was fun." Sebastian went on, clearly not wanting to leave. "Yeah it was." You smiled.
Then you stood there, just looking into each other's eyes. Sebastian lips parted slightly, his eyes falling to your mouth. It took you a second before you pulled him towards you, pressing your lips against his. Sebastian almost fell in the process, returning the kiss. It was messy, all tongue and teeth, and he groaned against you as you lightly tugged on his hair. "Your room, now." You muttered against his lips. Sebastian just nodded weakly, opening the door before leading you inside. He closed the door behind him, only to press you against it, your mouths still moving hungrily against each other.
~
This time Sebastian groaned out of pure embarrassment. You were Chris' sister for God's sake. He wasn't allowed to kiss you. Not like he did last night. "He's going to kill me." Sebastian muttered to himself, lifting himself off the bed to take a shower while the remaining memories of last night played in his mind.
~
"Jesus Christ." You whimpered, your head thrown back as Sebastians hips moved against you. You could feel his heart pounding against you, racing just as much as your own. He moaned above you, his eyes shut tightly as his hands gripped the sheets on both sides of your body. "You feel so good, fuck." He muttered breathless, his lips falling to your neck to suck on the sensetive skin. "So damn tight."
"Shit, Sebastian!" You moaned, gripping his hair and tugging. He growled against your neck, the pace of thrusts picking up as he searched his release. "Oh my-fuck!" You almost screamed as he grazed the right spot. He chuckled, his mouth finding yours. "You gotta keep quiet, baby." He muttered against your lips, smiling as you groaned. He leaned his forehead against yours, his bottom lip between his teeth as he neared his climax. "I'm so damn close, shit." He warned, his jaw clenched. "Me too, come on." You whimpered in response. It only took a couple more thrust for you to fall over the edge, his hand covering your mouth as you screamed his name. Your release triggered his. He buried himself as deep as possible, a deep groan leaving his lips as he came.
~
Sebastian face was in his hands as the water hit his back. He felt disgusting. On one side, last night was everything he had wished for since he had met you. But he had clearly taken advantage of you. But then, you had kissed him first. Yet, you were still Chris' sister.
He then realized that you wasn't in his bed as he had woken up. Did you regret what happened last night? What if this would be it, your friendship ruined just because he couldn't say no to you? He groaned in frustration, stepping out of the shower to dry himself off. He slipped into some sweatpants when it suddenly knocked on his door. He just sighed; he didn't want to see anyone right now.
As the knocking didn't stop, Sebastian forced himself to open the door. His breathing stopped for a second as he looked right into Chris' face; and he clearly wasn't happy. "Dude, are you fucking serious?" He snapped, pushing Sebastian back to enter the room as well. "What do y-" "Don't play dumb on me, Stan!" Sebastian gulped at his angry tone. "Y/N is my sister! In what way did you think that it would be okay to sleep with my sister?! You can be happy she's on birth control, what if you would've gottten her pregnant?!" Sebastians gaze was fixated on the carpet, not daring to look at Chris. His stare was intense, making Sebastian feel extremely uncomfortable.
"Look, I'm sorry. We were both drunk, we didn't know what we were doing." "Bullshit excuse." Chris scoffed, causing Sebastian to look at him. "You think I didn't notice the way you look at her all the time?" Sebastian gulped. He didn't know anyone had noticed. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "I don't know what you want to hear from me apart from that I'm sorry." Chris just rolled his eyes at his friends statement. "Go talk to her." Sebastian stared at him, blinking in confusion. "Seriously?" "I'm not the one who had sex with you and left. So yeah, go on." Sebastian just nodded, leaving the room without another word to walk up to yours.
He knocked, his nerves high as his heart raced. "Chris, I already told you, Im f-" You stopped as you opened the door. Sebastian had a nervous smile on his face as a dark blush covered your cheeks. He chose to ignore the red and purple bruises covering your neck, taking a breath instead. "Can we talk?" You nodded, motioning him to get inside. He stopped in the middle of the room as you closed the door, his hands in the pockets of his pants. He only then noticed that he forgot to put on a shirt, making the whole thing even more awkward.
"Look, I'm sorry about what happened." He started as you sat down on the bed. "We were both drunk and you clearly regret it. I took advantage of you and I know that was selfish. I'm-" "Wait what?" You interrupted him, looking up into his eyes as his brows furrowed. "What?" "You think you took advantage of me?" He just nodded, still confused. "Yeah, I mean- You left this morning without a word and I-I thought you regretted last night. That you didn't really want to have Sex with me." You just chuckled, shaking your head. "I was the one who kissed you first, dumbass." You smiled up at him. "I wanted what happened last night. I just panicked this morning because, you know, you're still one of Chris' best friends. I didn't want it to be awkward." Sebastian just stared at you in disbelief. "You wanted to?" He asked, causing you to chuckle. "Of course i did." Your face fell as he didn't seem happy. "Do you regret it?"
He immediately gathered himself, shaking his head no. "Not a second of it." You smiled in relief, standing up to walk towards him. "Soo, do you like me?" You bit your lip, smiling as you waited for his answer. He nodded. "Since the day I met you." You smiled brightly. "Same here." His hands settled on your hips as you smiled at each other. "Please let it be less messy this time." You added, making him grin. "I promise." Then his lips found yours in a slow, loving kiss. You pulled him closer to you, on of your hands caressing his stubble as you sighed into the kiss.
A knock at your door made you both jump, breaking the kiss. "I don't mean to interrupt." Chris called from the other side of the door. "But the room next to Sebastian complained about loud noises last night. If I'll ever have to hear anything from you two, I'm kicking Sebastians ass." You covered your face while giggling, embarrassed as strangers heard your moaning. Sebastian just laughed. "I'll find a way to keep you quiet." He suggested, winking as your face went red.
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The Most Pointless Character in Sonichu
Taffy here. This was a post I made for the Kiwi Farms forum on the most pointless character in Sonichu in late October 2017, and I took up the challenge to prove every single character has no point. This was kind of my beta version of what would become Taffy’s Annotated Sonichu, so I thought it would be worth reprinting here (also I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get more CWCDefense or GitM up, I’ve been really sick for the past two weeks and I’m just now trying to get back in the swing of things).
Chris's comic persona and fursona are pointless because he could have just lived vicariously through Sonichu and not have an in-comic presence.
Sonichu himself became pointless after Chris took over as main character but was already pretty pointless since really Chris could have just written a straight Sonic fanfic with Sonic as the lead in the first place. Besides the occasional electric attack and the complete lack of an original personality he's basically Sonic.
That said, all the characters ripped wholesale from Sonic or Pokémon (Sonic himself, Perfect Chaos, Robotnik, Giovanni) are pretty pointless as they were dropped not long in as Sonichu grew to have its own canon with its own crazy cast of characters.
In addition, any character ripped wholesale from any other franchise (Beavis & Butthead, Bugs Bunny, Meg Griffin) exist solely for "fan service", or rather fan disservice.
Rosechu is extremely pointless, all she does is A) be a token girl, B) prove Sonichu is STRAIGHT, and C) occasionally face rape someone. That said The Incredible Lioness is probably the closest we get to a real character with a point, rivaled only by the Voltorb that kills Simonla. They have simple purposes (to brutally maim and murder) and they do them to a T.
Kel is pointless since Rosechu could have just been Chris's Pokémon to begin with and she didn't need to exist as a middleman.
For that matter, any character best known for being a Moon Pal (Bill the Scientist, Metal Sonichu, Yawning Squirtle) or just as a meme in general (Inos), while being great for laughs, are all pretty irrelevant background characters.
Reldnahc Notsew Niatsirhc exists solely for Chris to physically obliterate his sexual insecurity.
Any Jerkop or Manajerk exists solely for Chris to vent his frustrations with real people who were just doing their jobs. Same goes for Hanna.
Blake is too inconsistent to have a point to existing. He was a pointless villain-of-the-week at first and then he was a pointless supporting character.
Sarah Hammer and Wes Iseli are particularly pointless because Chris' relationship with Sarah was already waning when he wrote Sonichu 2. Since the reincarnation plot point was dropped not long after, you can honestly skip Sonichu 2 entirely and not miss anything.
Mary Lee Walsh, while being awesome, is like the jerkops and manajerks just there essentially as a comic book voodoo doll. Maybe the point of her was to show that Chris can in fact write an interesting and badass female character? We'll never know.
Count Graduon is pretty redundant with Mary, power wise. Other than to vent frustrations with his graduation he's really pointless.
All of the Chaotic Combo are basically team filler filling out some elements that the rest of the team lacks. Specifically:
Wild Sonichu doesn't really have a personality. He's pretty redundant with Sonichu himself, other than, of course, we need a green Sonichu. The one thing that possibly could have made him interesting, the struggles of being a single father, are really rushed over so Chris can get back to the murder spree. His only notable father-daughter bonding experience was drilling a man to death.
Bubbles Rosechu, aside from being the token blue Sonichu/water type, finds one Sonichu ball and then returns to being a moron.
Angelica Rosechu, although I imagine her original purpose was to be a pacifist voice of reason and a token religious character, well, that got thrown out the window pretty quickly. The things that differentiate her from Bubbles besides their powers are few and far between.
Punchy Sonichu is just the token red character and the token Asian. Seriously I don't even know what "fighting type" means. In fact, why not make him fire type? It's the one element missing from the Chaotic Combo (Bubbles is water, Wild is earth, Angelica is air, Magi-Chan is ether/heart/mind, no one's fire!) (Note 26/11/18: I now know Fighting-Type is a type of Pokémon, but nevertheless “Fighting-Type is one of the weirder types. The Pokémon types are elements, supernatural creatures... and martial arts. And yes, the Fighting-Type icons in the series are red while Fire-Type is orange, but from a team balance perspective fire would have made sense).
Magi-Chan, especially after being paired off with Silvana taking away his sole unique trait of not being driven around by his penis, is just Chris's round the clock surveillance system.
Boulder Dropping Whale would have been useful if he actually killed Bubbles's mother but since he failed he's just a great meme.
Why does Flame the Sunbird even exist? He's literally just Kazooie from Banjo-Kazooie and his role could have easily been filled by Wild or Bubbles or anyone because that stupid Sunstone doesn't even matter, except it does make everything grow like Norma, whoever she is. Norma is the most relevant character in that whole issue. (Note 26/11/18: Yes, I named Nadine’s mom after this typo.)
Again, Darkbind and Zelina are crimes against nature. (Note from an earlier repost): I am referring to a previous post complaining that Darkbind and Zelina were the combinations of not two but four franchises (Sonic, Pokémon, Zelda & Darkwing Duck) and came off as clunky because of it.)
Crystal the sister is especially irrelevant now that Chris is a girl (why not make her a trans man to mirror Chris' own transition? Oh wait JERKS.), but she was always redundant with Rosechu and Chris himself.
Sailor Megtune - why didn't he just draw Megan herself? We know he's okay drawing her.
Megagi - Already kinda redundant with Megtune and she really had no reason to exist after Chris & Megan had that falling out.
Jamsta and Lolisa speak for themselves at their uselessness. I mean, they are just bit characters anyway. But as someone else mentioned before their radio station is particularly shitty.
Patti-Chan, while her story is cute, just exists as a way for Chris to hold on to his beloved pet and not fully cope with her loss.
Allison Amber, although being one of the better characters, wouldn't need to exist if Chris would just do some work for once. That said if the point of her character was to be an audience surrogate (I mean, until she shoots a man in cold blood) then for once Chris succeeded.
Bionic the Hedgehog as previously mentioned is just there for the sake of having an orange Sonichu, even though he isn't one.
All of the specific characters of Chris's "real life" "sweethearts" (Pandahalo, Blanca, Ivy) as well as their OCs (Jiggliami, Blazebob & Chloe, Layla Flaafy) are pointless because they all just disappear almost immediately after they're introduced after Chris finds out they were a troll or they "died".
Likewise any rendition of one of Chris' real life trolls (Jason Kendrick Howell, Clyde, Jack Thaddeus, Alec, Evan, Sean & Mao) are again just there as pen-and-paper voodoo dolls for Chris to take out his frustrations on. The trolls in particular almost work against Chris' point in including them because no matter how much Chris paints himself as the hero his violent murder sprees always end with him looking like the villain. (Justice for the Asperpedia Four!)
Beel is just Satan and a secretary for the 4-cent-garbage building. Pretty pointless.
Zapina is just there as a token "cute" character.
Simonla is just Wild's token sweetheart and then later the lynchpin Chris needed to justify executing his enemies.
Silvana, while another fairly interesting character, is just a villain-of-the-week with an added dose of Chris's sexual insecurity.
Sarah & Rita Jackarass - These two are both stupid minor characters, but why on Earth did there need to be two of them?
GodJesus exists solely to heap praise onto our beloved autist.
Those stupid Samurai Pizza Transformers are stupid. I hate them so much. I hope they burn in the Earth's lava core.
Sonichu & Rosechu's children are initially just there to be cloyingly cute and then once they're grown to be Chris's LGBT mouthpieces, forgetting that we won't listen to anything they say because we already hate them. Of special pointlessness is Cerah, because while Robbie is the most punchable he's at least the focus character of a lot of the newer stuff (even though we hated him as a Sonee, we hated him as a Sonichu, and we'll hate him as a Rosechu), and Christine is vapid she gives credence to the idea that Magi-Chan is giving it to Rosechu behind Sonichu's back which is way more interesting than canon. Cerah does jack squat besides be a lesbian.
The Asperchu cameos are just there for Chris to try to force Alec to give him what he wants and the Basement Rosechus are just there to slander Alec's name.
Sandy is particularly irrelevant since Simonla's back, she was never anything more than a replacement goldfish for her.
Kevin the Jew - I knew it! I knew it all along! Peppermint Patty is a boy!
Bananasaurus - Don't listen to your Patreon backers Chris.
Lastly, Russel & Cynthia are just there to fill the Sonee/Rosee void left when Cera Christine & Robbie evolved, a void no one in particular wanted filled.
Edited (27/10/17) to include all the MLP characters and Chris's ponysona - We hate them and we want Sonichu back. 
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daresplaining · 6 years
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Luke Cage Countdown: 6 Days
Misty Knight, Armed and Dangerous
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    At long last, MCU Misty Knight is getting her sweet bionic arm! This is essentially her origin story, and as such, it will have huge consequences for her life moving forward. Here’s a brief look at her disarming, recovery, and powers in the comics.
    As in the show, in the comics Misty Knight starts her career as a promising young cop, top of her class at police academy, ready to change the world. She serves on the NYPD for six years... until the unthinkable happens. 
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Caption: “Memories... years gone now, yet still terribly fresh, clear... Patrolwoman Misty Knight, twelfth precinct, NYPD, working the day shift.”
Bystander: “My god-- that man-- he’s thrown a bomb!”
Caption: “Reaction. Fast... instinctive. Futile.”
Iron Fist vol. 1 #6 by Chris Claremont, John Byrne, and Karen Mantlo
    Misty is unable to dispose of the bomb in time, and her right arm is caught in the ensuing explosion. Her partner, Rafael Scarfe, manages to keep her alive until paramedics arrive, but she wakes up in the hospital irrevocably changed.   
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Misty: “Damn you, Colleen-- I’m half-a-woman now, a freak!”
Deadly Hands of Kung Fu vol. 1 #33 by Chris Claremont and Marshall Rogers
    Misty is shattered by the loss of her arm. She sinks into a deep depression, feeling like she is now weak and worthless. Her best friend Colleen attempts to bolster her spirits and help her regain her self-confidence, both through encouragement and some well-intentioned butt-kicking, but Misty remains convinced that she’s damaged goods and no use to anyone. This attitude, along with the painful memories of her accident, haunts her for years afterward. The violence in her life often plunges her back into that moment of pain and loss, and she harbors a sense of anger and loathing about everything surrounding the event and anything that reminds her of it-- including her own perceived deficiencies. 
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“Misty Knight, first in her class at the academy, B.A. in criminology at John Jay... holder of the NYPD Medal of Honor... twice wounded in the line of duty... and forcibly retired after six years service. After all, what good is a one-armed lady cop?”
Iron Fist vol. 1 #7 by Chris Claremont, John Byrne, and Bonnie W.
    Much later, when Misty's arm is damaged again, she reacts in much the same way, showing that on a subconscious level, she’s still recovering.  
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Colleen: “You’ve crawled up inside your head... again. Focus your anger on something positive.”
Misty: “Colleen, save the zen master speech. Seriously. I don’t want to hear it.”
Colleen: “Your father wouldn’t understand why you’re not a cop anymore. [...] You could go back to the force right now and they’d be happy to have you, but the problem isn’t in your arm, it’s in your head.”
Daughters of the Dragon #4 by Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti, Khari Evans, and Christina Strain
    Misty leaves her police career behind, and starts a slow healing process, largely facilitated by the creation of (K)Nightwing Restorations, a freelance detective agency she co-runs with Colleen. This new career gives her a chance to prove to the world, and more importantly, to herself, that she is still capable of working and making a difference. 
    In addition, though it serves as a daily reminder of what she has lost, Misty’s life is also improved by her brand-new super-awesome robot arm! 
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“The girl had said Misty’s arm had exploded. Well, why not? Why shouldn’t a robot arm explode when it’s riven with nuclear fireblasts? Because that’s what it is-- a robot arm. On a human woman.”
Iron Fist vol. 1 #3 by Chris Claremont, John Byrne, and Don Warfield
    In the comics, by the time we meet Misty she has already had her arm for several years, so we miss out on the details of its initial installment. But we know that it is Stark technology, and thus state-of-the art for its time. It is super durable, operates with all the ease of a real arm, and it grants Misty a degree of super-strength only limited by basic physics. Since the rest of her is squishy and human, she can push, pull, and smash with her arm, but it doesn’t allow her to lift extra heavy things, or do anything that would put tension on other parts of her body. 
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Misty: “Blast! I’m overshootin’ the wall. Gotta grab this stanchion as I go by-- use my bionic arm to stop me-- an’ hope the non-bionic rest o’ me can take the strain.”
Power Man #49 by Chris Claremont, John Byrne, F. Mouly, et al.
    However, over the years her arm has been upgraded to be more than just extra muscle. 
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Tony: “This arm is a superior design. I should have called Misty for an upgrade sooner, but I’ve been busy. The exterior is diamond interlaced with Vibranium. It is harder, lighter and stronger. I’ve had them install a pain dampener so if something like this happens again her nervous system won’t be harmed.”
Daughters of the Dragon #4 by Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti, Khari Evans, and Christina Strain
    These days, it can do such fancy things as generate magnetic fields and energy blasts, and interface-- both physically and at a distance-- with computers. It operates as essentially a Swiss Army arm, making Misty an even more formidable crime-fighter than she already was. 
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Misty: “These originals were mechanized, a mix of Stark tech and counterfeit crap. Plenty of brawn. But no common sense, apparently. Fine. I’d just have to do the thinking for them. [...] I had Stark tech of my own. Made me very persuasive to A.I.”
Black Panther and the Crew (2017) #1 by Ta-Nehisi Coates, Butch Guice, and Dan Brown
    Plus, of course, it looks awesome. Initially, likely due to her insecurities, Misty had a flesh-colored coating over the arm, disguising its true nature. But nowadays, she usually keeps the metal exposed-- probably for a variety of reasons: It’s common knowledge among the superhero and supervillain communities that she has a bionic arm, so hiding it would be pointless, it looks cooler this way, and her attitude toward it has changed. The arm is a part of her now, and she is no longer ashamed of it. 
    99.9% of the time, Misty’s arm is presented as a permanent fixture. It is attached to her body the way a biological arm would be, when it is damaged she experiences pain, and it presents serious problems when it... say... gets caught on giant electromagnets. 
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Misty: “It’s no use! That magnet is stronger than I am. The only way I’ll get free is by pulling my own arm off.”
Power Man and Iron Fist vol. 1 #66 by Mary Jo Duffy, Kerry Gammill, and Glynis Wein
    However, the remaining 0.1% is Jeremy Whitley’s approach in his Secret Wars: Secret Love story. Here, the arm is presented more like a typical prosthesis, and is removable. In the final scene, we see Misty relaxing with her arm off-- which seems way more comfortable than the alternative. 
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Secret Wars: Secret Love, “Misty and Danny Forever” by Jeremy Whitley and Gurihiru
    Since this interpretation is in the minority, and directly opposes the way her arm is presented everywhere else, it likely will not stick. However, there is something appealing about it. Misty is a disabled character, and her bionic arm tends to feel like a quick fix-- a super cool quick fix, of course, but there are a lot of comics where, in terms of both art and writing, it’s easy to forget that she’s even an amputee. “Misty and Danny Forever” does a great job of spending what little time it has on exploring Misty’s life experience as a disabled person. It doesn’t rehash her trauma and self-loathing from the earlier comics-- she has largely healed from that, as is natural-- but it does bring up little day-to-day inconveniences that most Misty comics don’t address. 
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Misty: “It looked so beautiful in the store.”
Colleen: “It is beautiful.”
Misty: “I know. It’s me. It’s the arm. It slides right off the metal. [...] Colleen, I can’t do this.”
    Whitley discusses his reasons for this change in this interview: 
“I think for the most part that comics view disability as a thing to be fixed. If a person is injured, their parts can be swapped out for cybernetic ones or they can be magically healed and everything is better. The reality of living with a disability is much different. While her cybernetic arm makes her super strong, it is also bound to have effects on her life. Self-image is just one of those things. [...] It was also very important to me that in the last page, Misty does not have her arm. She is having an intimate night with her husband, getting her hair done, and snuggling up to go to sleep. First off, we’re talking about a large, bulky metal arm. Secondly, the thing has a lot of moving parts and is sure to make noise. I think the visual of a superheroic woman of color with her arm missing is very powerful.” 
    Again-- this is one isolated, unique interpretation. But we’ve always found it compelling. 
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    Now, we are finally getting Misty’s sweet robot arm in glorious live action, and we cannot wait. To start, it looks great. The design is fantastic-- still futuristic, as it should look to emphasize its state-of-the-art-ness, but it also looks realistic. The fact that it seems to be some form of plastic/carbon fiber rather than metal, and the sleeve-like part where you can see how it’s attached to what’s left of her biological arm, both provide the illusion of this being actual prosthetic technology. It’s possible that this arm will, just like 616 Misty’s first arm, only be super strong. But there ain’t nothing wrong with that.  
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    (The level of detail on this thing is breathtaking. Wow.) 
    We also know that this new arm will be-- gasp-- Rand technology! We’ve been excited about this idea for a long time, so we were thrilled when it was hinted in the last episode of The Defenders. Usually we’re sticklers for comics accuracy, but this change makes perfect sense. It keeps Misty’s story tied to the Netflix corner of the MCU (we’d love for these shows to cross over with the movies, but in this case staying close to home will allow for more freedom in telling this specific story). It is also a wonderful bit of bonding between Misty and Danny, who have had distressingly few interactions so far in this universe. The whole idea of him commissioning the arm for her makes us all warm and fuzzy, and regardless of whether this will actually lead to them interacting in this show, it still presents a form of personal connection, which we appreciate. Go check out this delightful Rand Enterprises spotlight on Misty, if you haven’t already! 
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    This will be a new chapter in Misty’s life emotionally as well. She will have to cope with having lost a limb, and all that that implies. Like in the comics, she should be in for a difficult time, because experiencing this kind of trauma is world-altering. There have been several shots in the trailers that suggest a Misty who is coping well and recovering, which is a big relief. But that can’t come too quickly, because that’s not realistic. We also have moments like the one above, which suggest turmoil. We also have this great Daughters of the Dragon scene, which suggests that Misty may be suffering from insecurity, and which Colleen may be using tough love to treat (just like in the comics). And while we know that Misty will still be operating as a cop in some capacity, it will be interesting to see how she approaches this, and how long it will last. Misty’s story is only just beginning, and for us, she is one of the people we’re most excited to see again this season.   
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noramoya · 6 years
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“ Dave Chappelle said it best in his Netflix stand up. Michael Jackson never abused any kids, he just wanted to look cool to the kids at Neverland Ranch and wanted to stunt on them. “This is my cotton candy machine, it produces 2 tonnes of cotton candy a day, isn’t that awesome??”
DVSdanny • Aug 25, 2018, 11:54 AM
I once interviewed someone for a magazine I was working for. The person was also a former journalist. I asked her something about her most memorable moment and she said she once interviewed Michael Jackson.
She asked what he would like to talk about and he broke down crying because no one ever asked him that.
Uglybass • Aug 25, 2018, 10:33 AM
Listening to MJs music, you could tell when the accusations and music industry BS started to catch up to him. After the Dangerous album, he started putting out songs like "They dont really care about us" and "This time around". Much darker songs than MJ ever put out in the past.
foreverwasted • Aug 25, 2018, 9:16 AM
He was very close and affectionate with children because he didn't have the childhood he wanted. He was under a lot of pressure from his dad. He was obsessed with children, but in the nicest way possible. Bill Burr was right. Pedophilia is so common a topic of discussion in the USA that whenever we ever see an adult around a child that's not theirs, people's minds go straight to pedophilia.
Catch-up • Aug 25, 2018, 8:26 AM
Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons. — Michael Jackson.
TL;DR: The FBI conducted several investigations on or involving Michael Jackson from the early 1990's until his passing in 2009, with the last 10 years of his life receiving an ongoing investigation which turned up nothing that would suggest he was guilty of the crimes he was accused of.
More than 70 police officers searched his Neverland Ranch property, his other places of residence were searched, dozens of computers were seized and examined, and there was nothing to suggest he had a sexual interest in children. The only porn ever found which belonged to Michael Jackson was adult, heterosexual, porn. Nothing illegal was ever found in his home. A fake police report was released by gossip website Radar Online in 2016 which the Sheriff's Department stated was ‘falsified, with images that were never part of the original documents,' claiming those images 'appeared to have been taken from internet sources.' There were contents on the report which didn't even exist in 2005.
...
Corey Feldman also vouches for Michael Jackson’s innocence. ‘He is not that guy,’ Feldman maintains. ‘I know the difference between pedophiles and someone who is not a pedophile because I’ve been molested.’
Close friend Macauley Culkin also stands by Jackson. ‘Nothing happened. I don't think you understand,’ Culkin said, ‘Michael Jackson's bedroom is two stories.’
In1993, when allegations were first put against Michael Jackson, the father who accused him was recorded ON TAPE plotting against Jackson (listen to it here):
On July 2, 1993, in a private telephone conversation, Chandler was tape-recorded as saying,
There was no reason why he (Jackson) had to stop calling me ... I picked the nastiest son of a bitch I could find [Evan Chandler's lawyer, Barry Rothman], all he wants to do is get this out in the public as fast as he can, as big as he can and humiliate as many people as he can. He's nasty, he's mean, he's smart and he's hungry for publicity. Everything's going to a certain plan that isn't just mine. Once I make that phone call, this guy is going to destroy everybody in sight in any devious, nasty, cruel way that he can do it. I've given him full authority to do that. Jackson is an evil guy, he is worse than that and I have the evidence to prove it. If I go through with this, I win big-time. There's no way I lose. I will get everything I want and they will be destroyed forever ... Michael's career will be over.
In the same conversation, when asked how this would benefit his son, Chandler replied,
That's irrelevant to me ... It will be a massacre if I don't get what I want. It's going to be bigger than all us put together ... This man [Jackson] is going to be humiliated beyond belief ... He will not sell one more record.
This was said BEFORE Evan Chandler told others that his son had informed him about Michael Jackson. Also bear in mind, Chandler, a dentist, had his son SEDATED with Sodium Amytal, a drug which affects a person's memories and makes them susceptible to suggestion when he got the confession out.
After 2005, Jackson's defence attorney explains it best here where he outlines that the family which accused him of abusing 13 year old Gavin Arviso had targeted other celebrities asking for money, including Jay Leno and Chris Tucker. Defence attorney Thomas Mesereau would also describe the prosecution's tactics as essentially throwing everything at Jackson hoping something would stick.
Take the time. Do the research from verifiable and reputable sources of information. I have literally spent years researching Michael Jackson’s life, art, and allegations and I can honestly say that if you peel back the layers of his accusations you will see that his innocence has always been there.
noiant • Aug 25, 2018, 11:11 AM
So Michael Jackson gets investigated for super long but R. Kelly doesn't?
CookLove • Aug 25, 2018, 8:51 AM
Didn’t the father of the boy who accused Jackson in 1993, commit suicide a few months after Michael’s death? Guilt, maybe?
🤔
varnell_hill • Aug 25, 2018, 8:50 AM
Of course, because he didn’t fucking do anything. Was he a weirdo? Yea, absolutely, but that doesn’t make him a pedophile.
This was smear job and a cash grab by the parents, and nothing more.
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wigwurq · 6 years
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WIG REVIEW: AVENGERS - INFINITY WAR
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OH GURL, I finally saw Infinity War! Yes, I’m a full week late to this party but y’all know I had to wait that long to see this with MoviePass. Was it worth the wait? Decidedly: no. I mean, it’s the Marvel Universe and and the wigs are always terrible! But the twist here is: SO WAS THE ENTIRE MOVIE. LET’S DISCUSS.
SO MANY SPOILERS AHEAD.
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Straight up: this movie is about jewelry. The only other movie I have wasted so much time at that devoted so much time to jewelry was Titanic and it’s hard to say which movie I hated more? I guess still Titanic but I honestly don’t know. They are both really long, cost way too much money, and involved deaths that didn’t need to happen. So that’s the whole thing with Infinity War, right? We were promised that beloved (?) characters would die and they do but also NOT REALLY. BUCKLE UP FOR THE MOST EXHAUSTING RECAP OF NONSENSE EVER.
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So blah blah blah Thanos is this intergalactic psychopath “played by” Josh Brolin but mainly played by a computer, as with most characters in the Marvel Universe. Anyway, he needs to get all 6 infinity stones to complete his blinged out Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget hand. 
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That is basically the entire plot of the movie. Thanos is basically Liberace but slightly less gay and with no apparent piano playing abilities who I guess hates overpopulation and is a complete psychopath? You do the math on this one.
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The movie starts exactly where my beloved Thor: Wignarock left off with Loki’s increasingly terrible Disaster Artist locks billowing in the space wind as Thanos demands some effing bling. Tessa Thompson is somehow not there because she has much more important things to do. Loki delivers some infinity stone he just had laying around someplace because sure and promptly dies (?) All deaths in this movie are highly questionable but this one seems possibly legit and I’m fine with it because this wig is terrible and Tom Hiddleston can do better. Same goes for Idris Elba who also dies (?).  I’m very happy that these two handsome men have been freed from the shackles of the Marvel Universe and the bad wigs that go with them. Thor and The Hulk are also there but are somehow spared by Thanos because his deal seems to be only killing HALF the good guys but only sometimes and don’t ask why because you certainly will get no answers. 
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Moving on, the Hulk crashlands into Dr. Strange’s olde curiousity shoppe and gurl I can’t even with this lewk. I’m all for capes ALWAYS but this HAIR. There are many jokes about Dr. Strange being a wizard and he does look like a very bad magician always. Anyway he gets the 411 on this bling situation from the Hulk which is troubling since possesses some of that bling. It should be noted that the bling he possesses can alter time and space so you’d think the bling could just protect itself and everyone around it but I guess that is too logical for this movie? So instead he decides to go ask another mad genius with a goatee for help!
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OMG GOOP IS BACK. HAHHAHAHAHHA. LOOK AT THIS EFFING WIG. 
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YOU CAN SEE THE LINE OF THE WIG WITH HER REAL HAIR UNDERNEATH. Ok, I understand that building entire characters and planets out of computers is $$$ but for the characters that are played by people, could we maybe get a wig assist? MARVEL UNIVERSE FOR SHAME.
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But this wig is not long for this Marvel Universe since Iron Man decides to form a goatee alliance with Dr. Strange because of course. Look at these weirdos! Side note: these are absolutely the kind of dudes who always go to see movies at Film Forum. Anyway, Robert Downey, Jr’s dye job alone is very upsetting but THOSE GLASSES. NO.
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Anyway, the goatee alliance proves terrible at protecting NYC streets despite the fact that DR STRANGE’S NECKLACE CAN CHANGE TIME OMG JUST USE THE NECKLACE. Instead, Dr. Strange is beamed aboard a spaceship where he is given the worst acupuncture treatment this side of Hellraiser. 
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Iron Man and Spider-Man somehow save the day by literally stealing a plotpoint from Aliens and then all three make a lot more stupid movie references while also completely failing at doing anything productive involving highly important timeshifting bling.
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Meanwhile, somewhere in Scotland, a Transilvanian Witch and a robot twice her age with a flashlight in his forehead have found love outside a kebab shop. 
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BUT NOT FOR LONG because WWII wet rag Chris Evans who inexplicably has given himself a butch makeover and ScarJo in the best hair she’s ever had in the Marvel Universe show up to tell them that they need to destroy said forehead flashlight because it’s one of the bling Thanos needs for his bling claw. This is where all logic really goes out the window. The Avengers refuse to sacrifice the “life” of Robot Paul Bettany for the good of, well, THE UNIVERSE so instead to go find help in extracting the bling AND saving a robot’s life in Wakanda because apparently the only capable person in this entire movie is our gurl Shuri.
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Anyway, back in space, The Guardians of the Galaxy save Thor who has just been floating around half dead since Thanos left. This means that Chris Pratt and Chris Hemsworth meet face to face and they’re definitely the best looking and funniest in the Marvel Universe so fine. Still, Gamora’s upsetting Halloween Adventure wig continues to exist. Look at these guys looking at it. NO. Anyway, the Chris party is shortlived as Thor needs to go get a new hammer.
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But who could make a new hammer? PETER DINKLAGE OF COURSE. The episodic nature of this movie already feels like a sci-fi version of Game of Thrones so why not? He’s the best part of that show and this movie, obvs. He plays a giant dwarf (?) created through highly questionable photoshop not unlike my #2 favorite character in Thor: Wignarock - that GIANT EFFING WOLF. Anyway, this is the best picture I can find of his insane mountain man wig which is very awful. Regardless, he makes Thor an axe with an assist from Groot and also an assist from Thor getting a really terrible sunburn to make it all happen. Whatever? OH: also that raccoon gives Thor a new eye which somehow matches his other eye. Bye, eyepatch!
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Anyway, The Guardians go to see Benicio del Toro in his batshit crazy space wig which is so terrible as to maybe be amazing. He definitely has given Thanos some bling that alters reality and they fight and blah blah, Thanos ends up stealing away Gamora, aka his adoptive daughter but not before she tells Chris Pratt she loves him! Yay?
Oh but then in order to get the soul bling (which is not what I imagined), he DEFINITELY throws her off a cliff. But is she dead? DEATH IS NEVER CERTAIN ANYMORE BECAUSE OF THAT REALITY BLING SO EVERYTHING CAN BE CHANGED AND WHY ARE WE EVEN STILL WATCHING THIS NOW SINCE THERE ARE NO ACTUAL STAKES.
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Anyway, Chris Pratt and co meet up with the goatee/Spider-Man party and everything devolves into “witty” repartee and terrible decision-making. Thanos shows up and that insect chick puts a spell on him but for some reason they don’t use this magic slumber to kill him, just to try to get his bling claw off and they fail because Chris Pratt can’t control his DAMN TEMPER BECAUSE GAMORA IS MAYBE DEAD BUT PROBABLY NOT SO JUST EFFING CHILL DUDE. Anyway, to save Iron Man, Dr. Strange ends up giving up his bling so Thanos only has one bling left to get...dun dun dun.
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Back in Wakanda, Paul Bettany’s bling is being extracted by Shuri but meanwhile, they are totally under attack by some horrible space dogs because obvs. Fighting alongside Wakanda’s already awesome fighters are Chris Evans, ScarJo and the Winter Soldier hisself. GODDAMN THAT IS A TERRIBLE WIG. I mean, truly truly truly outrageously bad.
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Also outrageously bad? The fact that all of Wakanda is under attack JUST TO SAVE ROBOT PAUL BETTANY. SO MANY INNOCENT WAKANDANS HAVE TO FIGHT AND ARE KILLED BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO KILL A ROBOT AND WHY DID ANYONE IN WAKANDA AGREE TO THIS INSANE PLAN EVEN MICHONNE FROM THE WALKING DEAD. WHAT IN THE VERY HELL. It should also be noted that Black Panther is the only movie in the Marvel Universe that wurqs wig-wise so truly, this is all really plummeting their stock.
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So Thor shows up and almost saves the day but then Thanos shows up and then everyone realizes that they have to just destroy this robot anyway to destroy the bling and this was all a huge and terrible waste of time because OBVIOUSLY.
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This makes that Transilvanian witch in a horrible horrible horrible red wig that Robot Paul Bettany loves very very sad because somehow a witch is the only person who can destroy bling in this movie which is a plotpoint I appreciate but then she has to also destroy her robot lover but like: IT’S THE ONLY WAY WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST DO THAT BACK AT THE KEBAB SHOP. WHAT IN THE VERY HELL, AVENGERS?!
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So then everyone just keeps fighting Thanos even though he is completely unstoppable but like...maybe just fighting him hand to hand will work? (It doesn’t work). Nothing works! Nothing wurqs! The Avengers are completely useless and Thanos just peaces out and then things get completely mindbogglingly stupid:
HALF THE POPULATION OF THE WORLD INCLUDING HALF OF THE AVENGERS JUST DISAPPEARS INTO SMOKE LIKE AN OFFBRAND EPISODE OF THE LEFTOVERS WHICH I’VE NEVER SEEN AND DEFINITELY WON’T NOW.
Huh? Yes, this was Thanos’s plan all along! But obviously, these deaths are not real! I can’t even tell you who got whisked away and who didn’t because one of the people blown away was Black Panther and THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THEY ARE ACTUALLY KILLING OFF BLACK PANTHER. Also before he’s blown away, Dr. Strange says something about how this was the only way (after earlier doing like 14 million calculations) so clearly: they win in the end.
But not the end of THIS movie. No! No! The Marvel Universe refuses to be self contained to one movie. So the whole thing just...ends! For now! Like one big hanging chad of death until the next Avengers movie (A YEAR AWAY) when definitely everyone will live again. THE MARVEL UNIVERSE JUST MADE DEATH NOT A REALITY AND WASTED ALL OUR TIME IN THE PROCESS. There has not been a more ridiculous cliffhanger ending to a movie since The Empire Strikes Back and absolutely both endings are true garbage filmmaking THERE I SAID IT. 
At this point, I ask myself: HOW MANY DAYS HAVE I LOST TO THE MARVEL UNIVERSE? How many overlong movies have I watched to prepare for other overlong movies THAT DON’T HAVE AN ENDING? HOW DOES THIS CYCLE CONTINUE? WHEN WILL WE BE DONE? NEVER! BECAUSE WE’LL KEEP SEEING THEM BECAUSE WE DON’T VALUE OUR TIME AND BECAUSE WE’RE GARBAGE PEOPLE. THE END.
VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ
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fandomimaginestrash · 6 years
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Gobsmacked - Tom Cavanagh x Reader, Chris Evans x Reader
A/N: Welcome to Ficmas day 3!
I had a couple of Tom Cavanagh requests, only one of which had a kind of plot, so I’ve put those requests together and this is the result!
The tennis thing, sure I can do that but I think making the reader German would exclude a huge portion of the audience - so for that reason I haven’t included a nationality for the reader. Hope that’s alright!
Summary: You are a rising Tennis star who is dating Tom Cavanagh and is also best friends with Chris Evans. When the two of them have to work together, tension arises.
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During the USA Open tennis tournament, you had met a man. That man was actor Tom Cavanagh. The two of you became fast friends, he was a tennis enthusiast and you were a fan of the TV show he was on, The Flash.
While you were touring the circuit a few years ago, you had met many an actor. Anyone and everyone seemed to me interested in your sport. One of those other actors was Chris Evans. You had also quickly become friends with Chris, although the connection wasn’t quite the same as the one you had with Tom. There was no denying Chris was a very fine man, but the attraction was purely physical. It was different with Tom, the two of you connected on every level.
During the course of the tournament, Tom had taken you out on a date to celebrate your rise to stardom. It had only escalated from there. As you were still training and playing, alcohol was off the table. This meant that you and Tom got to know each other on a more personal level. You traded stories and laughed the night away. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so fascinating!” Tom said, staring deep into your eyes. You couldn’t hide the grin that covered your face. “There’s nothing fascinating about me, I live and breathe Tennis.” You replied modestly. “Fascinating.”
After the tournament, you met up with Chris for a few drinks to celebrate your first major victory. You had invited Tom, but he said he “didn’t want to be a third wheel to your friendship.” The two of you were exclusive; he knew there was nothing to worry about. “So there’s something I need to tell you,” Chris muttered almost inaudibly. You had no idea what was going next, but you certainly didn’t think the next words to come out of his mouth would be “I’m going to be in a new movie, with your boyfriend.” “No way, that’s great!” You squealed placing your hands on his biceps with pure joy spread across your face. What felt like an eternity passed and Chris hadn’t said a word. “Isn’t it?” You added. “I mean, I guess.” He shrugged. “It’s just that- you know what, forget it, it is great.” Suddenly his tone went from ‘genuine hurt’ to ‘fake upbeat’. “Chris, you’re my best friend,” you said very seriously. “If there’s something you want to say to me, just say it.” “Fine, if you really want to hear it -” Chris took a huge gulp of his drink - “you’re too young for him Y/N.” He began to search your face for an indication of what you were going to say. Only it was proving impossible, you were stonewalling him.
Weeks later and you hadn’t seen Chris since that night. You didn’t tell Tom what had happened, they had to work together and you didn’t want to cause tension. “I thought friends were supposed to be supportive of each other’s relationships.” Tom stated during one if your nightly phone calls. “What are you on about?” you questioned him. “Well your so called best friend seems to have it in for me” “I’m still not following you” the confusion in your voice said it all. He let out a disgruntled sigh and just said “Chris hates me.”
For the duration of the time they spent filming together, Tom spent your conversations talking through all the reasons Chris could possibly have to dislike him. You sat listening to him, never once telling him the real reason. That was something that needed to be discussed between the two of them, preferably while you were nowhere to be found. When the time came for the press tour, Tom was reluctant to attend. Things were tense between him and Chris, and everyone could see that. Thankfully, they didn’t have to do any interviews together. That was, until the mix up. Towards the end of the press tour, there had been a scheduling error. The two of them were forced to attend the interview together, despite protests from both parties. For the most part, everything was going swimmingly. Chris made a few snarky comments, but tom just brushed them off. That was until the interviewer asked “So how do you guys deal with being away from your families for so long?” An innocent enough question under normal circumstances, but these were as far away as you could get from normal circumstances. “Well, I’m happy as long as I can face time my dog!” Chris laughed. “Yeah, I mean I speak to my girlfriend every night so-” Chris let out a huge puff of air and rolled his eyes. “Okay dude, what the hell is your problem?” Tom asked. “I really don’t think this is the time or place” Chris raised an eyebrow. “I really don’t care; I’m sick of this shit so what the hell is it?” Tom pushed. “You really want to know my problem?” Chris paused, “you. You’re my fucking problem.” Tom’s mouth gaped open, waiting for Chris to finish explaining. “You and her, it’s not right.” He was practically screaming. “She’s far too young for you, she should be with someone else, someone closer to her own age, someone-” “Someone like you?” Tom cut him off. “Fuck off man, this whole thing has been about Y/N? God, you’re such a child, you think she’d be better off with you when you act like that? I love her more than anything and…” Tom paused and rose up out of his seat, “and I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with her if she will let me, so I’m glad we got this out of the way, at least now we can all just move on.” Tom took the moral high ground and exited the interview. Leaving Chris and the interviewer sat there, gobsmacked.
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fangirlfish · 4 years
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Insanity In This Tag
I literally didn’t think I would have to write about anything related to Sebastian again except to reblog pics of him. The latest bit of internet fandom insanity just made me feel like I need to take a stand on this. I literally was debating about this since Wednesday / Thursday when this craziness started whether to write about this or not. However given how things got escalated, I really feel like I need to say something. I’ll be using a “Keep Reading” to spare you what will be a LONG rant. I’m going to be doing something I typically don’t do on here, which is using a lot of swear words I don’t normally write. This is how serious I feel about this whole thing. This isn’t meant to be a defense of Sebastian’s actions. This is meant to be critical of how FANDOM is behaving.
I just feel like as an Asian-American person, I need to speak up a bit on the recent controversy because it’s kind of related to racism towards Asian people. To a certain extent I already discussed this on a post I wrote on my main tumblr in response to a fanfic writer I follow. So I’m going to organize my thoughts about this whole issue as follows:
Bad Choices He Made - No Mask and Traveling during a Pandemic
Bad Choice She Made - That Picture
Actions of the Internet Clown Brigade
So before I start let me re-emphasize this. I am an Asian-American and I’m only expressing my personal opinions. I don’t pretend to represent all Asian people and I don’t pretend to know Sebastian personally or anyone directly in his life. You can disagree with what I write, but any all abusive language towards me will be blocked and reported to Tumblr. If you don’t agree with me, then we’re just going to have to agree to disagree. I’m not going to debate with people about this post because if I can respect other people to have their own opinions about all this, then they should respect that I have mine. Also I’m not criticizing everyone, but I think there are people in this tag who went off the deep end the past few days. I don’t have any particular people in mind, so I won’t be tagging anyone. With that said let’s begin.
BAD CHOICES HE MADE - NO MASK AND TRAVELING DURING A PANDEMIC
Traveling out of the country during a pandemic that is still out of control worldwide is not a smart decision. Not wearing masks in public is also not a smart decision. However, I don’t know him personally so I can’t contact him to tell him what he did wasn’t smart.
So far it looks like he hasn’t been spotted in public lately, which makes me wonder if some of these pictures of him online weren’t intentionally being spread online by PR working with paps to gain attention on either him or her. This is literally the kind of thing that people have speculated was happening with Chris Evans and Lily James during the same period while Evans was in London. I’m not even going to speculate on the nature of this relationship between Sebastian and Alejandra. However if those pictures were released because of PR reasons, it’s more likely to be on her side than him since he’s pretty famous for being in the MCU while only people into Spanish drama has ever heard of her before this month. Seriously, the guy doesn’t need to have pictures of him like this to get attention. Doing more interviews to promote things like The Devil All the Time will do that for him JUST FINE.
I agree that people can disapprove what he did. I didn’t approve of it either. However I just think it’s stupid spamming his instagram account with a variety of nasty comments about it. It does nothing but prove you’re just another troll giving him shit on something. Not to mention he’s hardly the only celebrity traveling like this and I’m not aware of people giving them half the trolling people have given Sebastian. So I really don’t understand what is everyone’s beef with him. The only conclusion I can come up with is some of you trolls need serious psychological help at this point.
BAD CHOICE SHE MADE - THAT PICTURE
The picture that started it all. I’ve always had mixed feelings about non-Asian people wearing Asian traditional clothes. At face value, there is literally nothing wrong with people wearing clothes from people in another country. I mean if I was going to be traditionally Chinese I probably shouldn’t be wearing t-shirts and shorts right now since those are Western clothes. However because I was born and raised in the US, I’m very aware of the long history of racism against Asian people. I mean there was literally a law passed by the United States Congress in 1882 against Chinese people from immigrating into this country. And then there’s straight up racism against Asians in early Hollywood (though there’s a case to be made there is still some racism against Asians in modern Hollywood).
People have been abusive towards Asian people for decades so it’s a very real thing that those of us who are Overseas / Diaspora Asians are very sensitive about. This is why this controversy appears to be a far bigger deal among us Asians who don’t live in Asia than it is to Asians who live in Asia. Some of the comments I’ve seen online by people who identify themselves as Asians living in Asia has been a mix of confusion on why this is even issue to begin with to annoyance about mixing up between Japan (”geishas”) and China than the actual clothes wearing and makeup in the picture.
Personally I lean slightly more towards the “Asians who live in Asia” side of opinion because cultural appropriation is a very complex topic that isn’t understood or discussed very well. People including foreigners can totally rent things like kimono in Japan, hanbok in South Korea, Ao Dai in Vietnam, etc. for personal pictures without anyone over there questioning it. It literally does seem to be a bigger deal to Overseas Asians, which is a complex situation that most non-Asians wouldn’t know or understand much about. I literally could write an entire essay about this, but I won’t at this time since I’m writing about something else here.
I think Alejandra should issue an apology statement indicating she recognizes that it was offensive to some people and that she’s learning and understanding better why and how she will do better in the future. At the point whether people believe in her or will be cynical about it isn’t her problem anymore. Also her just addressing the issue might end some of the controversy because let’s face it, her lack of action other than limiting comments on her Instagram isn’t making things any better for her.
ACTIONS OF THE INTERNET CLOWN BRIGADE
This section is going to be where I will potentially get the most shit from people on this site. However these are my opinions and I don’t apologize for honestly feeling what i feel. If you disagree with me, fine.
The biggest thing that annoyed the hell out of me with this whole thing is the level of “wokeness” happening around this situation. It just comes across to me a total crock full of shit by some people on Tumblr and ESPECIALLY on Twitter where a lot of this insanity started. Genuine concern and disapproval by some Asian people somehow turned into this whole clusterfuckery of people suddenly being offended by the picture and what apparently is cultural appropriation, etc. etc.
I just found this completely laughable that there’s this sudden concern especially by non-Asian people about anti-Asian racism when there’s been LOTS of abusive language towards Asians online for MONTHS because of COVID-19. I’ve literally seen people saying stuff like “this wouldn’t have happen if you people weren’t eating bats” to “you shouldn’t come to this country and spread your diseases here.” I’ve also heard a few stories on the news and anecdotally about Asian people who have been verbally abused in public and even physically assaulted because of the pandemic. But apparently the internet decided that a picture taken TWO FREAKING YEARS AGO is one step too far. Apparently a picture is a problem for people on the internet, but very direct racist behavior towards Asian people is barely discussed, which seriously screams crock full of shit to me.
Why can’t some of you people just admit you hate this woman was kissing and possibly in a sexual relationship with Sebastian already? Literally this picture was on Instagram since 2018 and it’s only now people are giving her shit over this. The picture had ALWAYS been there these last 2 years, but you guys didn’t look for it or give a shit about it until Alejandra got linked up with Sebastian as possibly being his new girlfriend. This leads to the next thing.
Another thing that I thought was a crock full of shit is this whole concept of “Lateness” to being “woke.” Here’s a newsflash, there are plenty of you self-righteous people who have been late to these problems by YEARS. So who the hell do you think you are to be an authority on being late or not? Systemic racism has literally been going on for YEARS under your noses, but it’s like now all of sudden you guys decided that if you don’t start posting all things BLM within some non-existent deadline that you’re “late” and fake and whatever whatever blah.
Yeah by THAT definition that means some of you guys should have been complaining about this when Eric Garner was killed. Heck some of you should have been complaining about this since Rodney King back in the 90′s. And sure there are plenty of you who are and I commend you for being very conscious and trying to do whatever ways you can to better things in your modest corner of society. And then there are those of you out there who apparently only just figured out systemic racism is a thing in the last couple months. Yeah if Sebastian and other celebrities are late to the game on racism happening, by that definition some of you newly “woke” people are late too. It’s like your recent activities to promote BLM gives you this false shield that you can start judging anyone and everyone who doesn’t do things as quickly as you.
This just leads to the basic fact. “Lateness” to social issues is a total crock full of shit made up by people who want to pat themselves on the back and shit on other people. Any time someone recognizes there is a problem that should be addressed and you want to be more active about helping to change things, is always good. It doesn’t matter if you started doing it this morning or you’ve been doing it for the last 20 years. What really matters is that you know it exists and you want to help make things better.
And you know what’s a good way to make changes? How about instead of spending days spamming random celebrities’ social media accounts you should be looking into what politicians represent your district. Why don’t you start investigating their voting records, bill proposals, and just straight up asking them via their offices what are they planning to do to address the racism that’s been going on for YEARS. And oh guess what? Sebastian’s good friend Chris Evans just literally launched a website he co-founded earlier this week precisely letting people who are currently in the US find out what some of their congressional representatives think about a variety of issues. There’s even a section on Racial Justice and Police Reform. Why don’t some of you people spend less time harassing celebrities and go look on that website?
Last thing. There are SO many assumptions being made about what Sebastian is or isn’t doing. I don’t pretend to know what is happening on his end right now. I’m not a friend or family of his so I got just about as much idea as the next random person. A number of people have already talked about this so I won’t repeat it all, but there is an assumption being made that he’s blocking people on Instagram.
First off we don’t really know if any of these claims are even true. They really could just be liars talking shit about him for attention and again taking advantage of a serious issue for their own personal gain. We also have no idea what else these people have sent him other than public comments on his pictures, etc. on instagram. Some of these people might have been sending him DMs which we don’t know what they consist of. Possibly some of them are threatening and abusive language and that would literally cause ANYONE to want to block them because who the hell wants to receive threatening, abusive messages from random strangers.
Even if they weren’t abusive, who the hell wants to have their phone go off every 10 seconds with messages from hundreds if not thousands of random people? The other thing is people are assuming he’s doing the blocking. Maybe he is or maybe it’s someone in PR or someone representing him who is currently managing his account for him doing it. We have no idea. I’m prepared to give him benefit of the doubt because I’m an evidence kind of person and not assumptions based on very few provable facts kind of person so sue me.
I mean this entire situation really doesn’t make anyone who claims to be a fan of his look good. Nothing at all. All because some segment are acting like members of the Internet Clown Brigade who think they are woke people trying to educate a celebrity on how to be a better person. A person who wasn’t doing any racist behavior and was late to promote racial justice by a non-existent arbitrary deadline by said Internet Clown Brigade. It’s also disgusting how this has devolved to the point where there are people in the Internet Clown Brigade supposedly doxxing him and hacking into security cameras in his building? I mean not only is that horrifying behavior, but criminal behavior that I seriously hope gets people arrested. No he’s not a perfect person by any stretch of the imagination. But honestly some of you clowns out there need to get off  your high horses too.
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