#which is one of the WORST feminine terms someone could use for me. I absolutely HATE it

[why-what-no]

Pretty Vicious

Pairing: The Corinthian x Feminine Man!Reader

Warnings: Bigots, Violence, Swearing, use of the term “fairy”

Summary: The Corinthian is pleasantly surprised when he meets a man at a bar and they get into a fight with some terrible guy. They promise they’ll have to plan to do it again.

Requested by: @logan-strong (God, I’m so sorry this took so long to post. I was going through slight burnout, and then I had to go to work 🤷‍♀️)

The Corinthian didn't usually pay much attention to other people, especially humans. They were pests at worst, food at best. But (Y/N)... the Corinthian had to admit he was intrigued by him.

(Y/N) was a very feminine man, skirts and crop tops. Not caring what other think, or the status quo. It wasn't something the Corinthian saw every day. Not since crop tops on men went out of fashion in the 90s (which the Corinthian hadn't been too happy about).

But even with that, the thing that interested him the most was (Y/N) was their utter fearlessness. When the two of them first met, it had been in a bar, the type of bar that he knew wasn't exactly safe for someone who dressed like (Y/N).

The nightmare was fine with it, even enjoyed the man's look. He may have lived on earth for a century, but he couldn't exactly judge others for being strange. He was a murderer, but not THAT much of a hypocrite.

But he knew humans had hang ups about wearing the "wrong" clothes. People who were usually aggressive.

And then the Corinthian realized that he underestimated the human. When some asshole said some asshole things to (Y/N), he didn't get scared or anything like that.

No, his reaction was quick and vicious. Grabbing the chair beside him and swinging it at the man's head. No hesitation.

Of course, the man's friends stepped in. Trying to defend their fallen comrade. So, the Corinthian decided to get in on the fun, siding with (Y/N).

"Well that was fun." The Corinthian said a few minutes later, after they got kicked out of the bar. "Nothing like a bar fight to get the blood flowing."

(Y/N) looked at him, face bloody. Chuckling, he nodded. "Very true. We should do this again sometime."

"We definitely should."

He raised his eyebrow at the nightmare, not expecting agreement. "Should I give you my number, then?"

A grin appeared on the Corinthian's face. Knowing that the man was flirting with him, and very glad about it. "Absolutely." He told him, looking forward to the next fight.

***

The Corinthian's phone rang. "Hey, it's (Y/N). Don't know if you remember, we beat the shit out of some guys at a bar a week or two ago?"

"(Y/N)." The glee was clear in the Nightmare's voice. "I've been wondering when you'd call. Thought you'd forgotten about me."

"Oh I could never." Oh, the human was definitely flirting, the Corinthian thought. "Listen, I've got no plans this weekend. Wanna get drinks?"

"Just text me the time and address. I'll be there."

The two of them met up as planned, both of them buzzing with anticipation for another fight.

(Y/N) was as well dressed as ever, fierce eagerness in his eyes. As for the Corinthian, he finally found a human he wasn't planning to kill.

After all, (Y/N) attracted possible victims to the two of them like flies to honey.

"We don't want a fucking fairy here." Some barfly took the bait. This macho man, swaggering up to them (or stumbling, he was fairly drunk) spoke. “You and your… friend,” He said friend like he meant to stay a much less nice word. “Don’t belong with proper men.”

“Proper men?” (Y/N) leaned back on the counter, grin vicious. Fake charm oozing from him. “Like you?”

“Yeah.” The man tried to hard to me intimidating. Puffing out his chest, standing straight.

But (Y/N) just brought their drink to their lips. “Well that’s a shame.” He said, before taking the drink and throwing it on the man.

“You-” The barfly was about to say something, assumedly something extremely bigoted. But he only managed to get one word out before (Y/N) gave the man a quick knee to the crotch.

The Corinthian and (Y/N) got their fight, (and got kicked out of another bar). As they got thrown out, neither of them could stop laughing.

“Oh, the look on his face.” (Y/N) chuckled, holding himself upright against a wall

The Corinthian nodded, smirking at the man. “It was gorgeous.” He stepped closer, until he was standing over his human. “Can’t wait until the next time.”

The grin on (Y/N)‘s told him that he know exactly what the Corinthian meant. “Yeah, I’ll call you.”

“Well maybe you’ll call me sooner this time?” He teased.

“Or you could call me.”

That was true. The Corinthian chuckled once more, leaning down to kiss (Y/N). At first gentle, but quickly turning rough.

He was definitely going to keep contact with this human.

#the sandman #the sandman x reader #the sandman corinthian #the corinthian sandman #the corinthian #the corinthian x reader #the corinthian x male reader

[ftmtftm]

hi, I'm not very good at thinking deeply about things, so I'll have thoughts that, base level, seem logical, but i know theres issues with it if dug deeper into (im not good at that) so im wondering if you can share your ideas and perspective on this for me? I love your posts and respect your opinion and how well youre able to explain your thoughts.

so, firstly I'm a mlm trans man. I do not have any masculine environments where I am accepted (I do not "pass"). and by masculine I mean, stereotypical fishing beer cars 3n1 masculine. I also mean the energy of being a man in the most simple of stereotypical definitions (excluding the toxicity part). I usually only get accepted socially by fem people, or other trans men who are more feminine and into things I'm not(like drag and make up etc)(WHICH IS FINE. I love that stuff I'm just not personally that interested myself.) so I'm constantly just catching everyone else's wave in order to be social. now this is all my own issue that I'll work on etc. but I can't relate to a lot of feminine things and I constantly find myself just wishing I could be surrounded by other masculine men.

I'm finally at my point I think... so the other day I quickly typed up a post before thinking about it that said "I only want to be surrounded by manly men" as a light hearted joke. I immediately deleted it before even posting it bc I realized that many people would take that the wrong way and see that as a negative thing. but then I thought "anyone of any gender could write "i only want to be surrounded by women" and no one would think twice about it." it wouldn't be nearly as offensive to most people. or wouldn't be seen as being misogynistic. i thought that was unfair bc as a trans man I'm kind of expected to reject the masculine culture and be ashamed of that aspect. because masculinity is usually tied to being toxic and abusive. i don't know if any of this makes sense. I'm really not the smartest person in the world and I have a hard time talking and using the right words so I'm sorry if I misused any terms or anything.

You're all good anon, and honestly? I can empathize with that kind of feeling a lot. I've also had a lot of times where I just... Want To Be Around Men And Love Men Because There Is A Lot Of Beauty In Maleness And Masculinity !!!!! And I also really understand that feeling of social isolation you're kind of describing where it feels like you're really only accepted by people who are more feminine in one way or another and want to be around more masculine folks.

It's definitely hard and tricky trying to express that though. I wish we lived in a perfect world where when mlm, especially trans mlm, were able to just comfortably say "I want to be surrounded by masculine men" and have all of the nuances of that just.... be understood. So many people don't want to attempt to understand our nuances though because they have no concept of what healthy manhood or masculinity can look like, so they don't understand why it would or could be desirable to us.

I really do think that we can be the change we want to see in the world though! I think as trans mlm we're in a really unique position to truly show people what it can mean like to be masculine and love masculinity in healthy and kind ways. To live authentically in that way is genuinely beautiful I think. I know it is easier said than done but if people can't understand or accept your authentic and true self? Fuck them. Like, if they are someone you care about it's always an option to try to help them understand and that sort of situation is up to you to gauge, but you owe absolutely nothing to strangers on the internet.

If someone can't understand why a trans mlm would want to be surrounded by masculinity, or if they immediately jump to the worst bad faith understanding of that desire, they are genuinely not someone worth breaking your back over. You deserve to be open about and proud of your desires anon, especially in light hearted ways like that.

#asks #anon

[heartbeetz]

Wow what a wonderful day to remember that I am a man who loves men ♡

#don't reblog please #I'm just. :/ #usually I don't like those ''your f/os would never misgender you'' etc posts bc they feel like the bare minimum / dismissive somehow / idk #but Maybe I do want to think about my f/os making a point to use masc terms for me around people who Do misgender me #to make Them feel uncomfortable #specifically this is in regards to my father KNOWING that I'm trans and STILL calling me ''ma'am'' over text #which is one of the WORST feminine terms someone could use for me. I absolutely HATE it #I want someone (be it real or fictional) to call me their boyfriend in front of him #I don't typically like marriage irl for a plethora of reasons #but god what I wouldn't give to hold a small wedding just so my father can hear me referred to as someone's husband #my mother still doesn't Know I'm trans but she's already guessed I'm somehow not cis and/or am otherwise genderqueer / gnc... #and SHE will ''correct'' herself if she uses too many feminine terms for me WITHOUT ME SAYING ANYTHING #my father has KNOWN for two and a half years and is still stupid about it #whereas she pieced things together on her own (despite me trying to hide it) w/in the past six months! and she's better than him! #anyway. very sorry about the really long tags on this post #I'm just kinda in a bad brain space rn #roz posts #delete later maybe #probably not though? idk

[blacksunscorpio]

Hi, hope you’re well! I was wondering about the hidden enemies aspect of the twelfth house. Does hidden mean the types of people (people with influence of the sign in your 12h) you are unaware are antagonizing you or is it that those characteristics in someone throw you off but you can’t really put your finger on why? Can these people believe that they are helping you but really they’re holding you back in some way? Can the hidden aspect go both ways? Why does 12h synestry have this effect? I have cancer on the 12h cusp and I’ve never really been able to develop any meaningful relationships with any (cancers) that I’ve met though I’ve been trying to emulate characteristics of this sign (12h as repressed tendencies). Note: I unfortunately have no water placements to help me out what so ever lol. Thanks for your help, your blog is absolute gold ✨✨✨

12th House and Hidden Enemies

Since the 12th house is ruled by Neptune, this is the place in our chart where things can be difficult to ascertain. Things are murky and veiled here. Not only can you be unaware of where people are causing trouble for you but there can also be a weird “vibe” that something is not right with something or someone but one may not be readily able to make it out. In the natal chart, synastry, or composite this can display itself as mentioned above. Things can get triggered here in ways you are not altogether comfortable with. And of course, because like the 8th house, things can be deeply buried or repressed. For more insight lets look further:

Aries/Mars in the 12th

Hidden or unconscious foes can often attack a native’s go sense of self. This is because Aries/Mars rules the 1st house of self. “I AM”. Often a native with this placement may wind up feeling victimized without being able to put their finger on the source if said feeling. An astrologer/native will want to observe one’s Mars placement and the contacts it is making to other planets in the natal horoscope or in synastry/composite [Mid-point or Davison]. Ex: Mars in the 1st can indicate conflict to the self. Mars in the 7th can indicate complexity with enemies being close relationships. One can have issues with authority figures or those in leadership. Hidden enemies can be competitors or they may feel anyone who triggers these planets is a rival they need to “beat”. People who trigger “lust” or “Sexual urges” in a native may be perceived as a nemesis. In addition, rivals/enemies might display aggression, antagonism, self-serving habits, and impulsivity. Watch out for those who display toxicity in the form of domination or those who overall try to silence or step on your drive. These people can be ruthless, cruel, “bullies” or simply those who charge in a shoot first/ask questions later. 

Taurus/Venus in the 12th 

Enemies are involved with 2nd house realm of “possessions”. Things we get territorial over. This includes finances and things we appreciate. Enemies may accuse the native of stealing/taking something precious from them. Things they value. Be on guard for those who encourage over-indulgence, general excess, and materialism. Someone who once wore the mask of a friend may turn foe due to being envious of the things a native owns. The things a native has or their wealth. Venusian placements can indicate the type of relationship a native has with their enemy. Ex: Venus in the 4th may indicate secretly toxic family members. Venus in the 11th= friends or those in their general social network. Venus in the 5th, casual lovers, etc. Fixed tendencies or feelings can exist in the underlying relationship between secret enemies. Be on the lookout for undoing in the physical/material realm. This includes thievery, hoarding, over-spending, or living beyond practical means.  Undoing can come from going after comfort and security in toxic or co-dependent ways. Lovers or those who provide wealth and security may become enemies by withholding it from a native or trying to gain control over it behind the native’s back.

Gemini/Mercury in the 12th 

Secret enemies can come in many forms. Generally, this will be in the realm of communication, ideals, or intellect. The interactions may be formidable and stem from communicative interactions or opposing views. A  secret enemy will often challenge the native’s wits or will simply strive to appear more intelligent than them. Superficiality, fakeness, disingenuousness, and two-faced behavior are common threads. Undoing can display itself as blockages to learning, gaining insights, and general discouragement of focus that can make the native grow. An enemy will, in layman’s terms, try to make you look stupid. Insult your mind. Make you lose focus. Mercury aspects and placements can reveal more. Ex: Mercury in the 11th can indicate surface level bonds with peers and communication that is not honest. Friends may lie. Mercury in the 9th possibly indicating enemies who may try to manipulate beliefs or manipulation in regard to teaching and religion. Secret enemies will reveal themselves in their communication methods with the natives. Through dialogue. Enemies here can use sarcasm, cowardly subs, insults veiled through “back-handed compliments”, passive aggression, insult you subliminally so you don’t realize you were attacked or insulted until after-the-fact. Slander, libel, or general shit talking. Think of Regina George:  “OMG I love your skirt!” only to turn around and say “That is the fugliest effing skirt I’ve ever seen”.  with the 3rd house involved, siblings and extended family could be culprits or part of the problem.  A toxic person may try to attack your intellectual confidence. Unethical approaches involved with words and general attacks of the mind. These people may intentionally cause confusion or gaslighting. Watch out for people you perceive to be liars. Therein lies the foe.

Cancer/Moon in the 12th

Veiled Nemesis’ are often difficult to feel. Things will be subtle. Their tactics or vibes will often display themselves in the form of manipulation, passive aggression, or a general “toying with the feelings”. Since the moon/Cancer often represents the “mother”, toxicity from a parent or child may be an issue or the culprit. A native will often feel their sense of security or safety being “attacked”. Enemies will attach their healing methods and/or emotional confidence. The placement of the Moon can indicate where emotional damage typically goes on. Ex: Moon in the 10th can indicate attacks to the public person or prestige or even the career. Coddling, not being able to let go, clinginess and overprotection are general themes. Perhaps a parent or guardian, lover, or close friend is incessantly over-protective that it causes a stunt to general emotional and mental growth. Again, it may be hard to see since it is the moon that can be a mysterious place as is the 12th house. The channel that one discovers said enemy will typically be through intuition and even dreams. Remember, through said over-protection and general fear of letting go can lead to the native’s undoing. We often see the toxic side of femininity with this placement. Mom, Grandma, sister, great grandmother, etc can be involved in the problem here. Child-abuse, using the child as a pawn during custody battles, emotional manipulation in order to get what the enemy wants can be what causes the nemesis theme. A hidden enemy may cloak themselves as “just wanting the best for you” or “I do it because I love you and care.” The enemy may not be able to let go.

Leo/Sun in the 12th

Foes will strive to exert their and dominance over a native. This will display itself as the spirit of competitiveness, bullying, domination, bossiness, arrogance, etc. Think leonine traits at their worst. Leo in the 12th will do this behind the scenes with power plays. How they can lord things over a native. The father could be a culprit in this or the father could be part of the issue. Daddy issue [regardless of sex]. Internalized misogyny. The Sun’s placement can reveal more. Sun in the 3rd will try to influence the mind or dominate the intellect. Sun in the 6th indicates a coworker or boss or one may feel/be overshadowed at work. The battle will always be involved with the core ego or one’s sense of self. A hidden enemy will try to greatly influence this person in this realm. A hidden nemesis will try to act like the dominant parental figure or act as if they are giving good sage-like guidance or person. They will try to act like the authority figure. This person will drain the native’s energy stores. The definition of an energy vampire. Why? because even as humans, we get our energy from the Sun. We are heliocentric. One can often feel drained energetically after dealing with such an individual. This will reveal to you “who” the enemy is. In addition, we can see more themes of toxic masculinity here just like Mars in the 12th. Moreover, the enemy may not be another person but the own native’s hubris. They need to take care not to allow their ego to run roughshod over them. Pride comes before the fall.

Virgo/Mercury in the 12th 

Secret enemies with this placement will often reveal themselves by criticism. More specifically, criticism about things a native is very insecure about. The critiquing will be neither healthy nor remotely helpful. It will scar instead fo heal. Hidden foes will wear the mask of the “caretaker” or “healer”.  Their behavior will simply be a means to an end. The native will often find themselves internalizing the criticism which is exactly what their enemy wants. The words the foe spouts will be sort of like Simon Cowell’s analytical stance. Harsh but not in a way that builds. One may often find the enemy saying things like “that’s just my opinion.” they will veil it under the mask of “honesty” when in reality it is just shit-talking for shit-talking’s sake. These people don’t really care, they just like to take people down a peg. Be on the lookout for those who display “Munchhausen by proxy syndrome” towards you. The caregiver who secretly injures by tries to gaslight and cover it up under the guise of “love”.

Libra/Venus in the 12th 

Like Taurus in the 12th, similar issues will display themselves through relationships. The ones closest to us. Your hidden foes may hide under the mask of “friend”. They are nearer than you are probably comfortable with. Look for those who are near and dear. Now, will all your teammates, family ties or friends be enemies? No. But you’ll want to be careful who you let into your circle with said placement. Best friends turn to enemies. The ones who hate on you when something good happens. The friends who link with you through trauma bonds but when you successfully break that tie, they are angry at every “win” you have. These people will be the ones who don’t clap when you win. The people who say they are “there for you” but stab you in the back.  They’ll secretly compete with you. Those who thrive and gloat when you are down and out. Enemies in this house will threaten your harmony and balance somehow. They will not respond well to diplomacy or will mask their ill-intent through the mask of “sweetness” and “Friendliness”. You’ll feel a shallow vibe from them. They’ll say one thing but their energy screams something else. Friends who are fair weather. Those who take advantage of a native’s attachment, or infatuation. A lover who ghosts or tries to make you co-dependent on them. An enemy or toxic person may actually lust or secretly desire you but manipulate you into thinking you are the one obsessed with them. There will be subtle mind games. They will enjoy toying with you. Delayed gratification or just manipulation. Think 5 of swords and 3 of cups paired.

Scorpio/Pluto in the 12th 

Paranoia resides here. Hidden foes will be quite underhanded and manipulative. Secrecy is seriously involved. People with this placement live by the mantra “expect anything from anyone, the devil was once an angel”. Betrayal, possessiveness, control and power themes, vengeance, and guilt are involved with enemies. Anyone who triggers these themes recurringly may be individuals to keep your distance from. People who trigger self-destructive tendencies are enemies to look out for. Moreover, a native can feel like they are their own worst enemy. Remember, a Scorpion is prone to stinging themselves. Enemies here are prone to trying to turn the native against themselves. This toxic behavior will be intentional. Toxicity will display itself through trauma bonds, possessiveness, gaslighting, manipulation, envy, or just general attempts at control and domination. Remember, the general theme here is “power and transformation.” Enemies are often those who boast a considerable amount of power [over the native or those who are powerful in general]. The danger in this placement? A native may feel a strong magnetic pull or obsessive fascination towards the enemy. This can appear in the natal, synastry, or composite chart. Watch out for the lover who seems to have a hold on you but you don’t know how or can’t seem to break it. They know what they're doing *sucks teeth*. Secret enemies desire to manipulate you or play the ventriloquist. Their goal is to see you be your own downfall. They’ll wade in the shadows, pouring gasoline on the fire of the flames of your self-destruction. Watch out for those who smirk while you’re going through a hard time. Or those who encourage you to do things you inwardly know aren’t good for you. Be on the look out for power-hungry individuals. Those who NEED to be worshipped. The types to lead “cult-like” followings and draw you in. This can often be displayed through seduction.

Sagittarius/Jupiter in the 12th

Hidden enemies/foes will be very fanatical and zealous. Enemies here lie in the realm of philosophies, teaching, higher learning, or religious beliefs. These enemies will be toxic gamblers. People who enable you or encourage self-indulgence, promiscuity, and general recklessness. They won’t ever warn you or ask you to heed caution. Ever. They’ll mislead you, tell you half-truths, or cherry-pick facts and figures to suit their own needs. They’ll make you think you’re getting the full picture but you won’t be. They’ll teach harmful beliefs, things that destroy faith in what is tangible or real. Make shit up to suit their own propaganda. It’s very similar to Neptune since both Jupiter and Neptune rule the spiritual. What they teach you may make you feel bogged down. They’ll use beliefs and doctrine to control. Their passion and zeal may make you feel as if what they are spouting is the end-all-be-all but it tends to be the opposite. Gloating and one-upmanship are themes as well. These hidden enemies will reveal themselves by questioning your beliefs or forcing you to believe theirs or causing dramatic scenes when you don’t conform or question theirs.  The nemesis might be a professor, guru, preacher, priest/priestess, or political leader. They’ll be exaggerators, quite preachy, and cloak their arrogance under another mask. Often it will be “confidence” but ultimately it’s bravado or self-absorption. They’ll be charismatic, yes, but they’ll attack your aspirations, idealism, talents, and dreams or simply try to tell you they’re not there or tell you you don’t really know yourself- they do. They’ll tell you they “know you better than you know yourself”.  Again the theme is “beliefs”. They will dissuade you from forming any thought process that doesn’t align with their own. They won’t encourage you to learn for yourself, cross reference, cite your own sources, or guide you to thinking for yourself. It will always have to be in the confines of what THEY believe for it to be seen as “appropriate”.

Capricorn/Saturn in the 12th

Hidden enemies or foes will often be a threat to growth. They’ll be restrictive. Threaten a native’s ambitions, reputation, prestige, groundedness/security. They may present themselves or even be authority figures. Power games are seen here. Guilt, repression, feelings of guilt, and/or general suppression of self-expression and drive. These individuals will be calculated. Very chess-like. Wealth or the legacy of a native and their possessions will be threatened or at risk when one has this placement. The enemy will display an austere persona. Could even be the father, grandfather, great grandfather, etc. Masculinity is involved here. Disappointment and criticism are extreme themes they’ll subject you to. This is how you’ll figure out who they are. They’ll be cold, want control, or be controlling. EXTREMELY negative. They’ll also be greedy or attempt to hold a native back from success, prosperity, or independence. Maturity will be inhibited. Opportunities thwarted. But they’ll mask it all under “wanting the best for you.”  The enemy could even be an individual's lack of exploration or their own self-repression. They could cause themselves to be too hard on themselves which could lead them into self-imposed depression. They must learn to be free. LIVE.

Aquarius/Uranus in the 12th

Hidden foes and/or enemies can be erratic. They’ll operate in a very unpredictable manner.  Their behavior will be exciting so it may be hard to recognize it at first. They may appear out of the blue. The nemesis might attack a native’s individuality and freedom. They may cause chaos and disruptions in your life. The enemy may not respect your individuality or differences and/or freedom. They’ll disapprove of the unique way of life your lead. [Look at Saturn as well as Uranus]. Your freedom will always be a threat to theirs and vice versa. Look out for those who seem “out there” and who try to coax you into avant-garde ways of doing things. It may not always be in your best interest. You could wind up with sudden breaks, accidents, unpredictable events because of them. They may cause disruptions to your security or cause so much confusion they can cause severe damage to your psyche [Uranus can also rule intelligence and mental dealings]. They’ll be recognizable as the “rebels”. They may not always be the types to intentionally wish you harm but may lead you to it. They’ll be, eccentrics, or anarchists and can lead you astray. Their agenda is to be agents of chaos. Think of the Joker from the Dark Knight. “Do I really look like a guy with a plan?” It will be hard to see. You may even be enthralled. Again this is the 12th house. Lots of instability here. The enemy could even be the individual's need for rebellion which can cause them to get themselves into trouble because they don’t see the threat or danger involved or they simply don’t care.

Pisces/Neptune in the 12th

Hidden foes may have may connections to karma. The feelings will be extremely felt through intuition and psychic insights. You’ll feel them but not really know where they’re coming from. Often there will be a “Nessus/Dejanira” theme going on. The victim and abuser. Often, the native will be the abused.  Strong Manipulation. The enemy will make you drink the “Kool-aid”. Their abuse often stems from their own hurt and trauma. They’ll claim they want to heal you or help you. Their “aid” will be cloaked under sympathy and love. Often it is an illusion. In reality, they’re wanting something. Being used can often be a theme. Themes of addiction or drug abuse can live here, too. Think of Bobby and Whitney or even Syd and Nancy. Enabling addictions are very prevalent. Now the enemy may not even be a person but addictions themselves can be the undoing or downfall. One with this placement must be careful in indulging in mind-altering substances. Alcoholism can be an issue as well. If it is an actual individual, the foe can play the martyr or cause you to sacrifice something precious to you. They can play off your insecurities or weakness and keep you emotionally dependent. They can toxic to your spirituality or try to influence your spirituality as well.

#excellent question #12th house astrology #hidden enemies in astrology #astro asks #astrology asks #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #mars #neptune #sun #moon #saturn #venus #pluto #uranus #jupiter #mercury #astro tumblr #bruja tips #Hope this helps ❤

[scrawnytreedemon]

Shit I’ve Been Winding Up For A Long Time Now But Am Very Aware Will Probably Hold No Relevance Should I Actually Go Into This More--

This is about Bhunivelze.

I.

You know, when I was chilling out, on my bed, that evening on that half term in early June, deciding to check up on ClementJ64′s FF retrospective because-- Hey! It’s been awhile, I wonder if he’s got around to doing the final bit of the FFXIII saga --You know, I was there, chilling, just for a laff. Just a laff.

The rest of that week was spent spiralling into a hyperfixation I absolutely did not anticipate in any way, shape, or form, because the way they introduced that character was “wwhdhfjjhHJDFJKHKJHW H A T??”

That retrospective and a good amount of wiki-scrounging is all I have as a basis for this. This is not a coherent character analysis-- Though I might tag it as that for ease of access. This is not, by any means, the thoughts of someone deeply familiar with FFXIII on the whole beyond plot synopses and overarching themes.

I don’t think I’m brave enough for that.

Reading the vast yet surface-deep lore on those wiki pages on my birthday while in a delirious state of mind was enough to make me somewhat nauseous.

Do you think I’m going to go through all of that in real time?

(Someday, someday.)

Ugh, I don’t know how to begin, but let us, I guess. I’d recommend you read this church-mime-demiurge’s FF Wiki page if you want the same level of base-knowledge I had, and maybe the aformentioned retrospective if you want the experience, because I don’t think I have the wherewithal to get into all of that from the bottom-up.

I am also, so, so fucking sorry for any remaining FFXIII fans in advance. There is like, a good chance I may be butchering the characterisation completely, so bear with me here.

With that... we begin?

Where do we even start with this guy?

How on earth to you begin to explain the absolute monolith you’ve constructed from crumbs of a Guy, some material no doubt spliced in from the Pale King, Sephiroth, y o u r  o w n  G o d  O C and other characters, and the mountains of religious trauma you carry around at all times that is probably the only reason you’ve been able to latch on as hard as you did?

I’m going to try.

What gets me, in summary, about Bhunivelze is how he’s a prime example of how love and concern can become deadly forces if in the wrong hands. His first acquainting with human emotion was by deceiving and possessing Hope, reverting his body to a teenage state, and planning to live among humanity through him. He sees human sorrow and suffering, and decides that, to End This(because it must be ended, you see) he’s going to destroy all the souls of the deceased that make up the Chaos that’s been eating this world for the past five-hundred years so they all forget and Are Happy. :).

Capital G God here hasn’t been present for the vast part of human history because he’s hidden himself away from Everything due to paranoia from killing his own mother and throwing her body into the Cosmic Basement, THEN creating the beings that would come to create humanity and OTHER beings because he didn’t have the keys to the cosmic basement. And also he believes death is a thing because she’d’ve somehow cursed all things to pass(including him) out of Spite.

Which explains why he’s so fucking averse to it and anything to do with it.

Bhunivelze, to put it lightly, is Shit at stepping into others’ shoes and Getting their experiences-- All the FalCie in FFXIII are, but him especially. It’s clear(again, in the f u c k i n g JP--) that he makes attempts to sympathise with them and does what he can to help, but it’s with such a loftiness and a complete inability to Understand why anyone would want grief, The Worst Fucking Experience In Existence, and even less why they’d be willing to Go Up Against Him And HisThe New Perfect World just for it-- And what would it matter, anyway, forgetting their loved ones. It’s not like you can grieve lost memories, right?

Right.

It reminds me of when at the end of the story of Job in the Bible, where, after putting this man through hell on earth, God rewards Job by giving him ten new children to make up for the ones that he lost. I. And that’s fucked! Nothing can replace the sheer uniqueness of each individual person you loved so dearly! But if you were a nigh-omnipotent deity high and mighty, with a cursory, almost mechanical knowledge on the functionings of the human psyche, that would seem adequete; enough.

Bhunivelze is doing that on a cosmic level.

I now want to get onto the romance: that being, his affections for Lightning. I don’t know how much I’m going to say, but it’ll probably be alot. It’s something that hits very close to home.

There is this... thing, within certain branches of Christianity, perhaps even in those of various Abrahamic faiths, where God’s love is posited to be the love-- The ultimate, most-fulfilling, all-encompassing love you could ever imagine --Because, well, he is love, so the story goes, and so often the best way to convey that is through the imagery of...

Marriage.

Giving up yourself so completely, to serve, to be the Bride; to be bound by him for all eternity; and for there to be no higher bliss than this.

This angle is pushed on young girls and women the most; from the mere parallels to the woman’s role in marriage, all the way down to downright-horrifying ultra-Evangelical purity pacts. With men, God is your dad, your best bud and confidant, your boss, your king, your this, your that, and the ‘marriage‘ as it were is relegated to a sort of half-thought; a metaphor.

For me, God was an attempt at all that, and my arranged groom.

(It was almost incestuous; was incestuous, that my own Divine Father would reach for my hand in marriage.)

Bhunivelze experiences Emotions™ for the first time through Hope, experiences Hope’s sheer overwhelming admiration for Lighting(whether there were any baby-crush feelings mixed in, I can’t say), and promptly falls into a nigh-romantic obsession with Lightning, deciding that she will be Etro(his all-but daughter)’s replacement, will be his Goddess of Death to-be-- He even calls her as such, before the final boss-battle--

...In the JP.

What happened in localisation, probably due to a number of factors, all the way back in early 2014, was that everything emotionally challenging about Bhunivelze was scraped off, like it was extra fat, and tossed aside, leaving us with the bland, clichéd shell of a foe-god we’ve seen time and time again. And I mean everything. I mean his very love for humanity; the fact his ploy was, in his eyes, to save them. Because if they’d left that all on, then it would raise the question of even if there was such a seemingly pure, all-knowing, loving being hell-bent on setting things “straight,“ would they truly be unquestionable? Would we have the right to fight for our humanity in the face of the Creator of the Universe?

To reject a love so personal?

That’s what gets me about FFXIII’s tackling of God, no matter how hackneyed and poorly-executed. It’s personal.

It’s from a feminine experience.

I know that terming is... vague, and problematic, but the way Christianity and much of the video game industry handle femininity itself is weird and problematic, so as it stands, I’ll have to simplify it. Apologies.

What sets FFXIII’s Let’s Kill God™ plot aside from most JRPG Let’s Kill God™ plots is that with our protagonist being a woman, and one who is very in touch with her femininity alongside her sheer strength; often, in these stories, God is reduced to Yet Another Foe, expected or unexpected, and you are tasked with taking him down unquestioningly for the Good of Mankind-- You will fight God, because you are right to, and you will go man-to-man-to-however-many-men you decide to bring along for the bloodbath.

And that just, doesn’t speak to me.

Even as an Extian.

Especially as an Extian. And an AFAB one with a deeply complicated experience with my gender, at that.

Leaving Christianity was painful. Questioning God was painful. Coming to terms with the fact that I had been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually traumatised under the guise of All-Encompassing Love was so, so fucking painful. I had been taught since I was five years old to devote myself to him, spent my life desperate to feel something, anything, to stay connected because I just, I never could Feel It on a deeper level, never could Give Up Myself, all I was, couldn’t Die A Spiritual Death And Be Reborn As His Eager Vessel, thus deeming myself to be worthless and a broken vessel for years and years on end... And for all that to have been... Nothing.

Lightning is hollowed out, the shards of her dead sister ripped from her in-stasis, leaving her emotionally numb for the majority of the game, Bhunivelze sweeps it under the rug, pretends he’ll perform a miracle and return Serah to life in exchange for her compliance, then sends her on her way to do his work, all the while knowing he’s going to pull said-rug from under her and elevate her such dizzying heights in the aftermath--

That he’ll deny her humanity.

Sand down all the rough edges that make her her, and polish her up afterwards, gild her as he is gilded, make her a Goddess.

And he’ll do it all because he loves her.

You can’t fight God like you can everything else. To fight It is the fight Existence Itself; FFXIII even conveys that by making Bhunivelze’s model part of the arena; it’s baked into the fabric of the game, no matter how minute.

While Lightning Returns is far from perfect in its execution of this concept, and that in itself makes me wince, not even taking into account the horribly botched excuse for a localisation Bhunivelze endured, it speaks to me more than anything else I’ve seen so far.

And it’s helped uncover some things within me. Helped me untangle them, just a little more.

So, yeah. I have alot of Thoughts on Bhunivelze, I want to share them, and I’m kinda really sad I have no one but my currently-absent friend Vee to share them with. I could get into alot more, like his very Fucked relationship with familial bonds, and how Lightning’s role as saviour so deeply parallels the overwhelming panic and never-ending guilt of Evangelical proselytisation, but I think I’ll leave those for another time.

In short, Bhunivelze is the epitome of Divine Love gone deeply wrong; on all fronts.

And if all of that isn’t enough to intrigue you, then, in Vee’s words, Lightning and Velze are literally canon endgame Sefikura lmaOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

#ffxiii #lightning returns #bhunivelze #analysis #scrawny speaks #scrawny rambles #this was written on and off over the course of a couple months #i know this will only get two notes #if even that #but fuck it i love this guy and i'm going to puke words for his sake #religion mention

[lacrimaomnis]

BRF Reading, 20/7/2021 (Part 1 of 3)

Background: This is the one question that drives me to pick up the tarot and learn to read myself. Some of you might be reminded of three spreads @celticcrossanon did on Archie, and yes, this is partly inspired by those spreads. I asked this question again because the first time I tried to read about it, I got the feeling of my stomach churning and it was so bad I wanted to throw up, so I thought: there must be something. Am I scared to do this reading the entire time? Yes, I am very much scared because I'm afraid the cards will show me something I don't want to see. But as you can see, the curiosity killed the cat. I am that cat.

A fair warning though, this reading might veer into the conspiracy theory realm. Is it hard to believe? It is. Just because I read tarot doesn't mean I believe in conspiracies. I find it difficult to believe what I read because it challenges all the established facts that were particularly established by the existence of the birth certificate.

This is the first of three spreads.

As written, this is merely a speculation and therefore must be taken with a grain of salt. This speculation is not true until proven otherwise.

My question is, does Lili exist?

Cards drawn: Page of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles, Page of Swords, Four of Wands, Five of Cups, Eight of Cups, Page of Cups Underlying energies: Nine of Wands, Queen of Cups

Summary: I have my "yes, I do exist!" card, which is the Page of Swords, but with it came another two Pages. This reading is confusing at best and is just nonsense straight out of the realm of conspiracy theory at worst.

First card: Page of Pentacles. As a birthday card, in my deck, this card is associated with birthdays between December 22 to December 28. Zodiac wise, Pentacles represent the earth signs: Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn. If we are to believe the information given to us, Lili was born on 4th June, which means she is an air sign, particularly Gemini -- but this card as the first card drawn immediately made me doubt if she is indeed delivered on 4th June because this card suggests otherwise.

This card suggests to me that Lili is a Capricorn because this card is associated with birthdays between December 22 to 28, but that just does not make sense. If she was delivered on 4th June, and assuming all are normal (9 months pregnancy, nothing is out of the ordinary), then she should've been conceived at least 9 months before June, which should be around September last year. Barring anything that could go wrong, it is impossible to have her born in December, just 3 months after being conceived -- because if she was indeed born in December last year, she doesn't exist, the woman who carried her miscarried.

What is not impossible, however, if she is delivered later than 4th June. Here is where I veer into the realm of conspiracy theory. My understanding of how each person is assigned into a zodiac is rudimentary at best, so please do bear with me. If this card is to be believed, then Lili should have been born around December 22 to 28 this year. If again, we assume normal pregnancy for whoever carried her (9 months, no early delivery, yadda yadda), then she should've been conceived around March this year. This interpretation implies that Lili is still not here yet. Which is impossible, because we have her birth certificate.

Whichever theory you choose to believe, neither of them makes sense to me. Both are equally impossible. I ruminate a lot around this card because this is the card in the first position, and for me, anything than the Page of Swords in the first position indicates an answer other than "yes, she exists". I think I even remember the controversies around the supposed birth certificate, but the only thing I remember from it is that Harry was listed as HRH something something.

Second card: Queen of Pentacles. Who are you? What are you doing here? How do you relate to this reading? If you are not Meghan, then who are you?

Queens typically represents feminine energy, and Queen of Pentacles is the ultimate embodiment of a motherly figure. She is practical, secure, motherly, and wise. In my deck, she is illustrated as a woman wearing a crown and holding a rabbit inside her arms; a symbol of fertility and family.

I was just...who are you? You are a woman of the earth signs. You are not Meghan. Are you the surrogate people have been seeing in their cards and have been suspecting? Do you confirm to me (even when I don't ask) that Lili is born from your womb and not Meghan's? What do you want to tell me? Are you even a person? My gut says you represent someone, but who are you?

Third card: Page of Swords. This is the absolute "yes, I do exist!" card for Lili if she is indeed born on 4th June. Sadly, this card is not the first card of this spread -- that spot was filled with the Page of Pentacles. Page of Swords is the card of "words and ideas" rather than "feeling and intuition". She (the pages in my deck are all drawn as young women) is associated with messages and messengers and can also manifest as gossip, which made me think about the buzz around Lili's birth. There were a lot of hearsays and speculation before and after her birth, particularly because of the distasteful choice of the name her parents given her.

Now, in my reading, there are several Cups cards (Five, Eight, the Page). If this card comes up with several Cups cards, this card is particularly hard about honesty. This caused me to think: is there any dishonesty on Meghan's part from the announcement of pregnancy and until Lili is born?

Fourth card: Four of Wands. Again, this card seems to come up a lot lately. This card is closely associated with the elements of home and family. It is about a new life, new success, and prosperity. In this spread, this card is about the "immediate future".

Fifth card: Five of Cups. This is the pair for the Four of Wands. This is the card of grief, loss, and negative thinking. This card signifies difficulty and loss, and as it is the pair of the Four of Wands, could this signify that the loss was about a family member? An element of home?

The only thing I can think of is that the readings saying either whoever that carried Lili miscarried or something happened to Lili that involves a loss so difficult that Meghan mourned as if she lost Lili.

Sixth card: Eight of Cups. The card of walking away, leaving the situation, and leaving things behind. This card heralds change and transition, prompted by dissatisfaction, unhappiness, or because it is that time to take that leap of faith. This could mean turning away from a present situation even if you have invested a lot of money and energy into it, just because it is time to move on.

This card comes in pair with the Page of Swords. This may tell us that we will hear of new rumours surrounding this child to turn our attention away from the distasteful choice of her name (which is entirely her parents' fault, she is in no way responsible for something she didn't have the power to choose) -- that book by Harry? An alternative interpretation is that Lili is left behind, people walking away from her because she disappointed them, whatever the reason was. I really really hope this was not the case.

Seventh card: Page of Cups. This card is about creativity, new projects, and inspiration, but also about immaturity, escapism, and emotional troubles. This card comes as the pair of the Queen of Pentacles: if the Queen of Pentacles is the surrogate, could this mean that carrying Lili caused her turmoil and emotional troubles?

Underlying energy 1: Nine of Wands. This is the card of being wounded, to hold your ground, and of resilience. This card often indicates that the querent must hold their ground against all the challenges thrown their way. This card may also speak of a recent illness. Was Lili ill? Is she ill? Was whoever carried her suffered from illness?

Underlying energy 2: Queen of Cups. This is the card of virtue, fertility, creativity, success, and power, but also of an inability to connect emotionally, a lack of empathy, and stress -- and this is coming across as Meghan. She perhaps might be stressed, she might perhaps is in a disconnect with Lili? If looked at from the Queen of Pentacles angle, the Queen of Cups further emphasised that Meghan, represented by the Queen of Cups here, might not be fertile or healthy enough to carry Lili full term, which further reinforces the Queen of Pentacles represents the surrogate analysis. Combined with the Nine of Wands, I am inclined to say that either Meghan is in distress and might not be able to connect with Lili, who needed her mother the most at these moments, or that Meghan might not be healthy or fertile enough to have a baby and carry it full term.

Conclusion: This reading tells me absolutely nothing I want to hear, but rather it makes me question things that are already established (I'm looking at you, Page of Pentacles). Nothing makes sense. I got an answer to a question I didn't even ask (that Queen of Pentacles) if that counts as an answer. Just as I feared, the cards showed me something I did not want to see, because I don't see anything that tells me "yes, this baby exists, she is healthy, and she is loved by her parents".

#reading: brf #g reads

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Yeah, so I read your HP headcanons/analysis and I found it really well put. I was wondering about your thoughts on Dumbledore and who he really was as a person. (It’s okay if you don’t really want to reply :> )

We’re just getting all up into The Carnivorous Muffin headcanon land, aren’t we?

Well, this one’s probably obvious to anyone who reads my work.

I fall on the manipulative Dumbledore side of things and then some. Dumbledore is not only a bastard man but is a raging misogynist and extremely classist (which is funny because I don’t see too many people calling him out for those last two when to me canon all but shouts it at you). 

Basically, what it comes down to, is even taken in very good faith I simply cannot read Dumbledore’s actions as benign in pretty much every single goddamn decision he makes ever.

God, where do I even start here? I guess we can go chronologically.

Well, there was Dumbledore’s Wizard Nazi youth with an oddly Dorian Gray flare to it with Gellert. I think it’s fairly obvious why Dumbledore’s not exactly... good there so I’m going to skip past it. Suffice to say, it took his sister’s death (and maybe murdering his own invalid sister) for Dumbledore to stop planning world domination. Even then it wasn’t so much that world domination was wrong, but because his sister died and he was an asshole.

I’m going to go ahead and include CoG and Fantastic Beasts because I can (CoG, while a terrible movie, actually does entertain me in many ways). Anyways, before the films came out I always considered the younger Dumbledore far more stoic and brooding. He doesn’t get his eccentric persona until after the defeat of Grindelwald and was before then angsty mcangsts and an academic at heart. 

Well, per CoG, apparently he was a budding spy master long before defeating Gellert/Voldemort popped up. We see him manipulating Newt, sending him to Paris as his own agent, WHEN NEWT DOESN’T WANT TO GO AND HAS ACKNOWLEDGED THAT DUMBLEDORE USED HIM INTHE LAST FILM. Dumbledore writes off having used Newt for his own agenda with a charming smile but none the less it paints a pretty grim picture that Albus has always been... Albus. There has always been a greater good out there somewhere and the man is always using someone as a pawn.

Cut to canon and his treatment of Tom Riddle. Frankly, Dumbledore’s treatment of the young Tom Riddle, and even Tom Riddle just before he came Voldemort, is insane. The thought experiment I like to run is “replace Tom in those scenes with Harry Potter”.

Harry was a poor orphan, whose guardians would more than match what Mrs. Cole said about Tom Riddle, who had spurts of accidental magic now and then and enjoyed when his bully cousin was discomfitted. Now, imagine Dumbledore giving Harry his letter, and then pretending to light all of Harry’s possessions on fire to “teach him a lesson”. What the fuck?

Now, am I saying Tom Riddle wasn’t creepy here and that killing a rabbit was terrible. No. But I am saying Dumbledore had a horrible reaction to it and is proud of it years later. (Also, the fact that he uses this memory to convince Harry of how evil Tom is, is hilarious to me. Dumbledore, you were the shit that lit people’s wardrobes on fire. If I was Tom, I’d be upset too). 

Dumbledore is always like this with Tom Riddle. He thinks the worst of Tom even in points where Tom hasn’t done anything. I’m not talking about later when, yes, Tom did live up to Dumbledore’s fears but when Dumbledore treats him like garbage and actively sabotaged Tom’s career.

Anyways, cut to later when the Marauders are in school. One of the big things is that Dumbledore puts up a guerilla resistance gang OF SCHOOL CHILDREN. While most members are older, James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, and Peter are all only just out of Hogwarts. “Well,” you say, “It’s their choice and they did graduate. Surely Dumbledore wasn’t actually recruiting school children.” I point you towards canon, where Dumbledore convinces three actual school children that the fate of the nation rests on their shoulders and to go fight the good fight. So yes, Dumbledore canonically uses child soldiers and has no regret for doing so.

The other is letting James and Sirius off the hook for the Lupin incident. While Dumbledore talks the talk this showed that he was not willing to walk the walk. True, while getting them into major trouble would have involved outing Lupin (who was innocent in all of this) at the same time they were nearly responsible for the murder of another student. It’s very convenient that Dumbledore lets off the rich son of a lord, two individuals who later end up in the resistance movement (Potter likely funding part of it), and tells the impoverished half blood to sit down and shut up.

And in canon, yes, I believe that Dumbledore absolutely knew what Harry’s home condition was like. While the blood wards are an excuse they aren’t a particularly good one as for most of Harry’s childhood the Death Eaters were all accounted for. Harry was in no extreme danger from them. To not have had an inkling of Harry’s home life (when Harry even hints at it when wanting to stay over the summer, Harry runs away from home in third year, Fred and George see the bars on the window, and he even visits Harry’s home in sixth year) would be such laughable incompetence and stupidity it’s right out.

With that, I absolutely do believe what Snape showed us in the memory, the Dumbledore behind the scenes as it were. That Dumbledore knew fairly early that Harry Potter was a horcrux and began grooming Harry for suicide. Specifically, that’s what sixth year really is. All those memories of Tom Riddle, the pretext to get some memory from Slughorn, it’s an excuse for a smear campaign designed to convince Harry that Tom Riddle is inherently evil and must die at all costs, even Harry���s own life. 

Dumbledore didn’t need that Slughorn memory. Sure, it was useful to know Tom intended to make seven but think about it. How did Dumbledore know there’d be anything remotely useful in there? He doesn’t know that Tom actually drops a number on Slughorn. Even then, he doesn’t know whether Tom actually goes and does it. All of it felt like, “Harry, I have a super secret important mission that only YOU can do. Can you handle it, Harry? Because without this the country is surely doomed” And in that I mean it was an effort to win back Harry’s favor after the previous year meltdown, keep him busy, and start in on the excuse to show Harry some pretty damn innocuous memories of Tom Riddle and go, “See, HE IS EVIL!”

Due to this, I frankly think that the train scene was a hallucination on Harry’s part. Wishful thinking for some gentle explanation of how Dumbledore had not cruelly used him for years and intended his death. 

Well, that and it never made much sense that Dumbledore could predict Harry’s a) becoming the master of death b) miraculous second resurrection.

In the first case, Harry becomes master of death because of wand lore bullshit and happenstance where Harry happens to save Draco’s life. Dumbledore had no idea such a thing would happen. Dumbledore’s plan was for there to be no master of death, as the wand would default to having no owner when Snape defeated Dumbledore on Dumbledore’s orders. That Draco got the wand is a sort of Deus ex Machina. Sorry guys, Dumbledore intended Harry to die.

More, even then, while Dumbledore was very into the occult of these things we leave canon without any idea if these things are even responsible for his resurrection. They’re just relatively nifty objects with a legend behind them. There was nothing concrete to suggest that, should Harry happen to get all of them, he would be able to rise from the dead.

Otherwise onto the misogyny and classism parts.

In terms of misogyny this is from every time Dumbledore talks about Lily Evans or Merope Gaunt. In the case of Lily, she’s this weird Madonna figure whose love for Harry was so powerful it saved his life. That she also happened to make these blood wards Dumbledore cannot reproduce and extended her protection to Harry wherever he went is irrelevant. It’s her love that counts. That feminine, maternal, love purer than all others.

Basically, Dumbledore seems to be of the belief that women are flowers. The best of women are these demure, selfless, brave women who sacrifice themselves for their children. Yikes, Dumbledore.

Merope’s the really bad one though. Merope’s tale is how she drugged and raped a defenseless muggle for months and then he escaped. Dumbledore spins it into this Victorian tale of woe where Tom Riddle Sr. THE KIDNAPPED RAPE VICTIM is the asshole here who abandoned Merope to the merciless cold world. How dare he. 

It’s very clear that Dumbledore doesn’t see Merope, or women in general, as people. Instead these weird Victorian ideals who can be tragic victims of circumstance.

As for the classism.

While Dumbledore’s very against the pureblood culture we see in the Malfoys a lot of his treatment of Tom Riddle feels very... classist. The big one, which is a little tangential but I say it counts, is Dumbledore’s theory that children of rape are incapable of love. Granted, he’s saying this while convincing Harry to kill himself for the good of the cause and there is a real world parallel in that alcohol/drugs while pregnant is a very bad idea that can lead to extreme mental and physical health disorders. That said, we’re talking love potions at conception, and it always read more as “rape babies” vs. specific drugs. And that is... just yikes on so many levels.

Now, do I agree with manipulative Dumbledore we see in many fics? No, because Dumbledore’s not that stupid.

He doesn’t need to borrow money from Harry’s vault, he doesn’t need to pay off Hermione and Ron to be Harry’s friends, he doesn’t need to choose Harry’s friends for him, he doesn’t need to manipulate Harry’s memories directly. He doesn’t need to do any of this because he got what he wanted just fine in canon.

Dumbledore is one of the smartest characters in canon, far smarter than Harry, and he doesn’t have to stoop to such outrageous schemes to get what he wants. Poorly concealed smear campaigns convincing Harry to commit suicide are more than enough.

#ask #anon #headcanons #albus dumbledore #manipulative dumbledore #dumbledore is pretty damn evil guys #as in there is pretty much not a single action you can point to where i'll say it was reasonable and not in some way underhanded #except maybe his choice in wardrobe #the man has some elton john style

[trickstercaptain]

JACK, MASCULINITY & BISEXUALITY.

          so I’ve made absolutely no secret of the fact that one of the big things I love about Jack as a character ( among plenty, plenty of other things ) is how he challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, and I’m gonna use this meta opportunity to elaborate on that and hopefully connect it to Jack’s sexuality ( mostly within his canon verses, though a lot of this does also apply to his modern verse ). the long and the short of it is that Jack is simultaneously allowed to be a badass and admirable to the audience and display selfishness, cowardice, his own quirks and his desire to avoid violence wherever possible. the first two demonstrate the perks of being an anti-hero, but it’s the last one that I’m going to talk about first: Jack does not like violence. he will choose methods of solving a problem that avoid, where possible, the use of brute force, even when it puts him at a disadvantage. he chooses not to shoot Will in order to escape the smithy in CotBP despite that proving to be the easiest way out, and he is told by Barbossa in that same movie that it’s likely the mutiny would not have happened if he hadn’t been such a merciful captain. we are encouraged to like him as an audience because he uses his wits to get out of trouble, and we are encouraged to like him in spite of the fact that he is the worst swordsman of the franchise, relatively speaking, and that he in fact loses every single fight he is a part of ( unless he cheats, which he does frequently ). 

        second, he is also allowed to be quirky. a lot of this links in with the idea that Jack is an archetypal trickster: he is transgressive on purpose because that is what a trickster does. he breaks the rules because it’s fun, he manipulates others because it’s fun, he gets bored easily and uses trickery and deceit to get ahead of his opponents while casting himself as a fool. tricksters also tend to have a very fluid attitude towards gender because, once again, it is another way to transgress boundaries, and there’s certainly an undeniable sense of androgyny to Jack. I’m not here to label him as anything because a) in Jack’s canon any modern ideals just wouldn’t apply and b) he is still a man and, more importantly, still benefits consistently in his narrative from being a man, so this androgyny is purely in how he outwardly expresses himself rather than the result of any internal struggle. he is experimental and individualistic and this is one of many ways in which Jack’s character draws on the rock star tradition ---- particularly the rock star tradition of challenging masculinity with the way they dressed on stage ( think Bowie, Jagger and Hendrix ).

         but this sometimes effeminate expression of his sense of self does make it more difficult to be taken seriously by others, both within his own social strata of fellow pirates and outside of it: he wears kohl that, while practical, accentuates his pretty boy, fey image, he wears his hair long and braided ( which isn’t necessarily a sign of “femininity” in itself, though he combines this with tying trinkets and beads and jewellery into it ), he sways as he walks ( again, a practical response to being on a ship for long periods of time, but isn’t something that Jack ever seeks to correct in order to appear more intimidating ) and is fond of theatrical gesturing which, yes, feeds into a stereotype but means that in no way does he carry himself in a typically masculine way. for instance, the way Jack sits: while yes there are times when he deliberately kicks his feet up on the table to occupy extra space and piss people off, he doesn’t consistently sit down in a way that emphasises his physical power or dominance ---- in fact, in the last multiple Jacks scene in AWE, when Jack is talking to himself in the brig, we see one of the clones crossing his legs with his hands on his lap as he sits on the bench ---- something I would argue is rather reserved and not overly masculine in nature.

        now there’s an argument to be made that Jack uses his effeminacy to his advantage, in the same way that a trickster would bend any rule that benefitted him, and that this isn’t the true him, but I’d argue that, while there is of course an element of using that behaviour to encourage others to dismiss him as a fool of no consequence, it is too consistent for it to be an act, particularly as it causes him as many problems as it does solutions. it’s absolutely in his nature. another great example I want to draw on is in The Price of Freedom, where Jack uses his “sexuality” ( I use this word loosely as it’s really the only way to describe what he does lmao ) to unsettle one of Teague’s lieutenants and jailors and throw him off, both while he’s been searched airport security style and while he’s trying to conspire with Christophe to break him out of Shipwreck’s cells.

“Roger, old chum, unless you want to cause me embarrassment—and yourself a lifelong case of envy—by demanding that I actually produce the goods for your delectation…er…inspection, I’d suggest you desist.” He batted his eyes at Teague’s lieutenant.

[...] Without answering, Jack abruptly turned to confront Mortensen, who was looming behind him, scarcely a handbreadth away. “I don’t care if you’re present, Roger, but must you breathe down the back of me neck?” He rolled his eyes. “Or are you trying to work up the courage to grab me backside and give it a squeeze?” He’d spoken loudly, and his voice carried to all Christophe’s crewmen. The cell-bound pirates laughed, whistled, and jeered obscene suggestions at Mortensen.

        I love this scene because it shows how Jack switches effortlessly between typically masculine and typically feminine behaviour and uses both to achieve what he wants. the seductive act of flirting with Mortensen ( despite the fact that Jack is twenty in this scene and is very likely half the age of the jailor in question lmao ) to throw him off is a very femme fatale sort of solution ( and that is an archetype that Jack plays around with a lot ), but being a man adds an element of what I spoke of earlier too ---- that he’s more likely to be dismissed as an irritating little shit and not someone who is conspiring to break someone out of the cells. he also relies on the hyper-masculinity he is surrounded by when he speaks loudly enough for all of the pirates in the cells to hear and jeer Mortensen in response, further embarrassing him and diverting his attention long enough for Jack to make his intentions to Christophe clear.

        because this is the thing about pirates, friends. yes, they were largely accepting of and/or unbothered by homosexual behaviour, and had crews who operated in a far fairer way than many merchant or naval ships of the same period, but they are still male-dominated environments. female pirates are rare as far as historical records show purely because we only know for sure that a few were women. women would, for the most part, have to adopt masculine traits in order to exist in the same space, and many would and did disguise themselves as men in order to achieve this. Jack is therefore something of an anomaly in his challenge of male gender norms ---- he could act more like your typical brutish, violent male captain and have a far easier time of it because that’s ultimately the sort of behaviour that is rewarded in this hyper masculine space, but he doesn’t, and this is where he stands out and positions himself as an outsider even in the profession he had literally branded into his arm.

        Jack has also been directly hurt by this culture of hyper masculinity, too. it’s clear that his grandmother sees him as an easy target for her abuse because he both struggled to and didn’t want to conform, and he faces similar criticism from Teague because of his non-violent personality. in his attempt to not become like Teague, too, Jack internalises his own anger and aggression which makes him self-destructive as opposed to outwardly destructive to others. Christophe is the most similar pirate in the franchise to Jack in terms of the flamboyant way in which they both present themselves ( and Jack is no doubt influenced by Christophe in that respect, though that’s another meta entirely ), but Jack does not share his ruthless, amoral personality. and he is mutinied against by Barbossa because people are easier to search when they’re dead. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but it speaks to the strength of Jack’s character that he remains a largely good-hearted individual when it ultimately comes down to it, and did not contort his sense of self in order to make his life easier.

        so linking all of this into his sexuality, while Jack is bisexual by modern definitions of the word and does not have any shame associated with it due to the openness of pirates to living outside of the established norm ( and the fact that Jack grew up among these pirates, so would likely have not realised the extent of the prejudice that existed until he joined the merchant service and entered into civilised society ---- and I mean, when he did he was called a molly at one point by Mercer ), he was never properly taught how to have a healthy relationship with another man, whether romantically/sexually or not. Jack doesn’t really have many positive close relationships with other men to draw on ( Robby and Gibbs are of course the exceptions, and they are both extremely important ) and all of the betrayals in his life until Elizabeth come from men. moreover, just because pirates were more accepting of homosexual relations between men, doesn’t necessarily mean that pirates should be held up as paragons of healthy behaviour lmao, both in general and in regards to male on male relationships. ships are male dominated microcosms in the same way that all-male prisons are. and this is why Jack does develop one toxic male trait: the inability to express his emotions in a constructive and open way.

        Jack therefore, for the most part, just doesn’t like men. he knows how to get along with them, he certainly has a brothers-in-arms approach to his crewmates and isn’t beyond liking the odd one or two, like Robby and Gibbs ---- and it is certainly a theme that Jack is drawn to those soft, non-threatening, nurturing sorts of men ( to fill a void of nurturing behaviour in his life, imo ). of course he has trashy taste too thanks to the lingering damage of his crush on Christophe and living and growing up in the sort of environment that rewards hyper-masculine behaviour, but his most successful relationships with men are those he doesn’t perceive as threatening, and those who are happy to compliment rather than challenge him in his position as captain.

       meanwhile, he loves women. absolutely fucking adores them, and I don’t mean this just in a sexual way, but in a genuinely appreciative way too. he craves their company and prefers their company to men ( he is honestly so much happier sat at a table with five other women than he is sat with five other men ), and I think this is because he’s more likely to find acceptance with them than he is men, and historically speaking in his life has found greater understanding and affection and care from women than he ever has from his own sex. and I think in turn, because he too is a very non-threatening sort of man, absolutely a woman’s man like my god, is why he is generally adored so much by the women in his life in spite of his flaws and lesser traits lmao. why do Giselle and Scarlett constantly let him back into their lives?? because yes he’s fun and  good in bed but, if Jack’s list of corrected lies to them at the end of AWE is any indication, he also spends a considerable amount of time just talking to them, spending time in their company and getting to know them.

#&. depths few had ever begun to glimpse ( meta tag. ) #abuse tw #pirates are cool but also terrible people: the essay #i'm kidding i'm kidding #but this is where there's a disconnect between jack representing that debonair swashbuckler fiction in the way he acts #vs. the harsh reality of piracy which is violent and demands a certain kind of masculinity #and jack is in this constant state of both adhering to and challenging those male gender norms #and being shaped by and simultaneously rejecting that environment #essentially jack's relationship with piracy is a troubled one #but yes have 10 rambly paragraphs !!!! i'm just pleasantly surprised that i actually finished this one before the end of pride month lmao #i still need to address his sexuality properly in modern but that's a whole other kettle of fish

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

(っ◔◡◔)っ 𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕦𝕡♥

InuYasha, Full Metal Alchemist, and Yu-Gi-Oh! Match-Up Request

May I please have a match-up for these fandoms? :) Thank you very much :D

Name: Corethra (or Corey for short)

Age: 25

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Occupation: Hand Packer at an ice cream factory. I work 12 hours (5:30pm to 6am) 2-2-3.

Birthplace: Memphis, TN, USA. I was raised in the neighborhood called Frayser which is the most impoverished area in Memphis and has a high crime rate as expected.

Zodiac Sign: Pisces (born March 2)

Chinese Zodiac: Year Of The Pig

MBTI Type: INFJ

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Love Language: Acts Of Service

Race/Ethnicity: African-American

Height: 4'11 (Call me short and I’ll kick your butt!)

Body Type/Shape: Average but well developed figure at best. I weigh about 158 lbs and am pretty insecure about my body.

Hair Color/Style: Black and naturally curly but I keep it flat-ironed so it’s straight. It’s long and goes down to just below my shoulder blades. There are times when I will have braids put in of various lengths.

Glasses or No?: Yes I wear glasses

Eye Color: Brown

Dress Style: I usually dress up in a casual way, just throwing on whatever looks good at the time but I will sometimes put in the effort when the time calls for it or when I’m in a good mood. I have an affinity for the punk, emo, and goth styles and I rarely wear feminine clothes but I will wear something risky every once in a while.

Hobbies/Interests: Video games, reading, writing, anime, internet surfing, listening to music, politics (sometimes), watching movies/TV shows, basically being an overall nerd. I’m usually either on my laptop or one of my many video game consoles if I’m not on my phone or reading one of my books.

Dislikes: Ignorance, stupidity, restriction, manipulation/gas-lighting, bullying, humanity, not being understood, corruption/injustice, close-mindedness

Personality: At first glance, I seem quiet and keep to myself, only speaking when I need to or when I’m spoken to. I’m an anti-social introvert to the fullest and don’t care much for small talk or going out. I prefer to have deeper conversations. When I get comfortable enough in whatever environment I’m in, I start to open up bit by bit. I’m a tomboy and pretty rough-minded as well as stubborn. I’m very sassy, have a smart, sarcastic, and witty mouth if not humorous and outrageous at times, can be borderline rude, and I’m more sensitive than I care to be. I can literally cry at someone’s suffering especially if it’s someone I’m close to or even a total stranger. I’m very empathetic and my heart is bigger than what most people would expect. Most people describe me as quiet, intelligent, creative, dorky, a smartass, and really sweet. I love a good laugh and have an open sense of humor to boot.

Many of my friends say that I’m very sweet and kind which I usually am if I’m in a good mood as well as affectionate as hell. Hugs and pet names galore with me! However only my friends and family see that side of me. My language is often unfiltered, harsh, foul, and blunt which shocks people because they think I’m a pure angel. I say what I want when I want and no one tells me otherwise. If they do, they can expect a mouthful from me. I’m an escapist and very imaginative, can be a bit scatterbrained at times, and I’m methodical and detailed to the point of perfectionism. I’m usually a walking contradiction in terms of personality in so many ways to the point where the real me is almost impossible to decipher. To make matters more complicated, I’m not very good at expressing myself verbally and prefer to let my actions do the talking. I also express myself better through written form.

I have many pet peeves and I get annoyed easily in general. I’m also slowly embracing misanthropy and nihilism but I can be pretty idealistic so it balances out. I’m practically zero tolerance when it comes to bullshit. I hate confrontation and conflict but I’m starting to work on it so I can be less passive-aggressive and more assertive. I also wish to stand up for myself more often than I should so people won’t think that I’m weak and an easy target. I’m pretty cynical which is to be expected and usually expect the worst from people. When someone angers me, I will either just withdraw altogether and completely cut them off (slam the door basically) or get in their face and go off before doing the former. I’m the “hold my anger in and release it all at once” type but I hope to change that one day and stop letting things fester before they get out of hand. I can be quite petty and even cold as well and if someone wrongs me, they will have to make the first move to mend fences. I refuse to apologize if I’m not in the wrong and I will not accept gaslighting/guilt tripping. I also refuse to change for others and will admit to having quite a lot of pride but that’s mostly due to me not wanting to be hurt and manipulated, mistreated, or used.

I have issues with trust and a wild imagination to boot. I usually trust my instincts and can see right through bullshit. I don’t like taking risks and I have to know all the details when I do something so I don’t mess up and look like an idiot. I am indeed a perfectionist and introverted to a fault which often prevents me from trying new things and going outside my comfort zone. I haven’t been in a relationship yet and am still a virgin due to my issues with trust and not wanting to be hurt or humiliated as well as being quite picky/perfectionistic with the people I allow in my life. I have high standards for both people and myself although I’m pretty laid-back and my dislike of conflict allows me to also take a lot of shit from people too before I eventually say “fuck it” and slam the door or go off on them. I don’t think very highly of myself and can sometimes fall into a period of self-hatred and self-pity.

Many people praise me for my intelligence which is fitting since I’m an intellectual. My ideals and beliefs are rather odd to say the least (I’m a classical liberal/independent and despise most ideologies/ideas. This includes religion, feminism, social justice, traditionalism, statism, big government, nationalism, socialism/communism, etc.) and I feel misunderstood because of it (mostly because of the black community ostracizing me). I am indeed a rebel, open-minded, and a free thinker. No one tells me how to think or feel or else they face my wrath. I highly value power over myself and I think it’s the most important thing that a person needs in order to survive. I am definitely an outcast at heart and I often distance myself from others and don’t like talking about my feelings or beliefs because I think most people lack the ability/capacity to understand me. Before I give my opinion on something, I like to do as much research as possible as well as look at things from all perspectives before coming to my own conclusion. I don’t mind discussing things but I prefer logic over emotion when doing so which makes it damn near impossible these days for me to have an real conversation without insults and threats being thrown (usually towards me). Chances are I’m gonna find something wrong with damn near anything someone believes in or says and I’m not afraid to call it out when I see it. Once I do open up and express how I feel, the gates of passion will open up and never close. I also have high morals and values and stick to my guns no matter what which can make me pretty stubborn at times.

I’m currently battling depression and often experience many symptoms of it including suicidal thoughts and depression spells. I also suffer from iron-deficiency anemia as well. These things are pretty annoying for me to deal with whenever they flare up.

Overall, I’m pretty crazy and a handful to deal with. Good luck matching me up with someone :P

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Hello @sacredwarrior88​ and thank you for submitting with us! I hope you like the boys we matched you up with!

>Admin 𝕋

Hello hello~! Thank you so much for submitting your request with us! We apologize that it took so long to get out, but here it is! I handled the YGO portion of your match-up. Again, like Admin T said, we hope you enjoy who we’ve matched you up with!

» » Admin Ko

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

Out of all the charactsers in fullmetal alchemist I can definitely see Scar as being someone that would truly appreciate you! If we just skip by the homicidal tendencies, he would be such a gentle lover! I feel we would really appreciate your body and your appearances to the absolute maximum, I can definitely see Scar as someone who would constantly compliment you, especially if you are feeling pretty insecure one day! He was also love the you wear glasses; not because he likes people that where glasses, but only because you just look too damn cute in them!

He also hates people who are arrogant and mean manipulative to get what they want, so I feel you two could really bond on that! As for personality, I feel that Scar would compliment your stubbornness and cockiness. He will also the love the fact that you say what is on your mind, and can be a little sarcastic when you want to be! He thinks it is a little sexy to him, how you stand up for yourself and don’t take shit from nobody, even from him sometimes. He will see that you strong and independent when you need, but can also become very empathetic and cry tears of sadness for anything and anybody that has experienced anything bad in their life. 

Scar is the same way when it comes to being verbally affectionate; he is really not good with words, but he is great with actions. So seeing as you are the same way as him, he will really appreciate and love the fact that you wouldn’t judge him for it! He will feel accepted around you, you will make him feel safe to be himself and show you his vulnerable side, so that he isn’t alone anymore, you will be there for him. When he needs to cry, you will be there to be his shoulder to cry on, you will be his crutch when he needs help standing up. He will love the fact that you give hugs and petnames; every time you call him something different in an affectionate way, it will go straight to his heart, and make him feel like he is walking on water or flying high up in the clouds.

This stoic demon will be the one for you! He will love how you look, though he hates human, he will make an exception for you! The most enthralling part he will find about you, is your hair and how curly it is. He will love how it looks if a breeze comes by and rustles it, making it move beautifully. As for physicals, he wouldn’t care much for it, all that matters is that you are strong and can take care of yourself without needing someone else’s help, for the most part! He will see that you are independent and can take no shit from anybody, and he will find that very admirable, and something he would definitely cherish in a lover.

He will love how sarcastic you are, and how on the other side of it you can be the nicest person, when they deserve it. He will see how emotional you can be, and how you can cry for anything and think it is very cute; charming in a way, since it is something that he can’t really understand. He will understand that you aren’t affectionate in the verbal sense, but more in the written and body language sense, and honestly, he would like that better then you constantly telling him how you feel about him. He would find that quite annoying.

He will see that sometimes you can be down on yourself, and he will try to make sure that you are okay, or will try to sheer you up. Key word, try, here. Most of the time he fails, but the efforts wouldn’t go unnoticed. It’s the effort that would help the most, because it shows that he cares and that he wants you happy and not so self loathing. He will try to tell you that you are much more than your insecurities and then list all the great things about you. And then once he was done, he will just walk away because, wow, that was embarrassing even more for him. He doesn’t usually go on rants like that. Especially to help someone.

But all in all, I feel Sesshomaru would be the perfect man, for you, since he has the same ideal as you, would love how you keep more to yourself in an introvert way, but at the same time can be super affectionate when you want to be. Someone who can teach him what it means to feel and have emotions. To cry when you feel sad and laugh when something is amusing to him. You are the one for him!

»»————-　♡　————-««

ᴊᴏᴇʏ ᴡʜᴇᴇʟᴇʀ

It’s to the absolute surprise of no one that initially meeting, you both don’t start off on the right foot. With how energetic and confrontational he can be, Joey isn’t necessarily the best when it comes to making friends quickly. Thus, the relationship you both have in the beginning starts off rocky. 

With time though, and a lot of assurance from your friends and his friends, you both interact with one another properly in neutral terrain where you can both get to know one another without jumping the gun too quickly. It’s through this that Joey begins to slowly garner a crush for you. He loves your stubborn and rough minded self as it not only correlates well with his, but serves as a sort of reminder / signal to him that not only should he try to tone it down, but try to keep you from blowing up unnecessarily. Though this doesn’t work often as you both don’t hesitate to double team on someone with wit and sarcastic comebacks.

He loves your snark and your blunt way of speaking. As someone who never enjoyed it when people blatantly lied or beat around the bush with him, he appreciates the sharp honesty you provide for him. Though of course this won’t be one sided as he’ll be sure to give you his own thoughts and opinions. 

Overall, Joey may be rough around the edges, but he’s loyal to a fault and won’t hesitate to help you overcome any obstacle. No matter how big or small. He’s adamant in becoming your boulder in those bouts of spells and will always remind you that no matter what he’ll be there for you.

#submissions #matchup #matchups #submission #inuyasha matchup #fullmetal alchemist matchup #yuigioh mtachup

[direwrath]

50 Questions: OC Interview

tagged by @alejandrocortez 😊

1. What's your name? "My real name?" *Smirks* "Ruvik, the name is Ruvik."

2. Give me your full name... "You always ask strangers such personal questions? My full name is Ruvik Damion Veill, don't dare use it against me."

3. Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it? "No I don't really have one." Girl screaming from the background "yes he does, Gavin calls him Blondie. Cause of his hair!" "Iara, this is my interview!" *rolls eyes and turns back around* "yeah, so there is that one."

4. What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?) "Wait what?" *leans back in the chair* "I'm pretty sure that I'm a human, dare I ask? But what exactly is an alien?"

5. Where were you born? "In a cave." *snickers* "I was born on a ranch my family owned near a small town called Bellevue  in what at the time, was the Nebraska territory. My parent's moved the family and the animals down to Rhodes to be closer to my grandparents. That was where I grew up."

6. I see. And that would make your age...? "31"

7. Okay, now...are you a good guy, or a bad guy? *pauses with a light grin* "I don't think I'm the best one to judge my own character. Let's just say that I've done things that can be considered... unkind."

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself...

8. How would you describe your personality? "Well Iara calls me grumpy all of the time, Gavin says I tend to spoil the fun and likens me to a sour boar. I tend to be realistic, and anytime I try to make a joke the women tend to slap me and the men ball their fists with insult. I mean if they can't get my humor it isn't my fault? Right? So I don't know how to really explain my personality much"

9. Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure? "I take things in stride, nothing much else I can do."

10. Do you like to read? *sighs and looks down* "I used to.. when I was younger I would read to my little sisters before bed." *lightly smiles* "I really haven't thought to pick up a book in years though." 11. Favorite color? "Blue"

12. Do you get along with others? "I try to be cordial when I need to be. But I really am not a people person."

13. Do you have any enemies? *snickers* "The better question should be, who isn't my enemy?"

14. How about friends? "I have a few individuals that I can trust, so yeah, I guess that might make them friends."

15. Are you patient? "According to my cousin Iara, heck no."

Part III: Hypothetically...

16. Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why? "Such an odd question?" *thinks for a second* "I think I would pick an eagle. Think about it what an eagle sees every day of their life? They get to see the world from above the chaos, and if they choose they can just fly away from everything. That's true freedom."

17. One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response? "Why?" *confused glance* "That seems an odd thing for any of them to do."

18. One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response? "I'll bet it was Gavin, that guy can be such a jerk."

19. If you could change anything about yourself... "Is that even possible? Well, I think I would like to stop being so straightforward. Sometimes I say things that I regret later."

20. About your home... "I no longer have a home, that was taken from me long ago."

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

21. What're your parents like? *takes deep breath* "They were amazing people. My mother was a hard woman when she had to be, but her heart was pure gold. She was born in a small village near the Carpathian mountains and came to this country when she was younger? I have no clue where exactly she was born but she would tell me it was very far away. She had this distinct accent, and people would treat her differently because of it, though she never let on that this bothered her. Me and my father knew better though. My father, now he was not as strict as my mother, and he did all he could to spend time with me. To teach me things that he said I needed to know and all that. He taught me how to shoot, to hunt." *pauses and laughs* "But the man could not catch a fish for the life of him. *takes another deep breath* If anything my parent's were good people, they had money and helped anyone that needed it. It's what brought the bad men to our door..."

22. Do you have any siblings? "Had." *hands clench into fists* "Viola and Lea were my younger sisters. Viola was 11 when she was taken and Lea had just turned 4, her birthday was a few days before the day she died. I don't really like to talk about them."

23. What's your occupation? "I tend to have many different trades. Mostly I take in wanted men and women for the money, not that I like working with the law after everything is said and done. But the job keeps me on my toes and it brings me good money."

24. I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it? "Eh, it's okay. Has it's good and bad moments. Mostly just hate hearing the fools try to talk their way out of the situation."

25. Are you seeing/dating anyone? "I was a part of something, and to be honest I think she was more involved with what was going on than I was. In my defense, I had to keep her happy or her father was going to put a rope around my neck.” *circles finger around throat* “When she started playing that she owned me was when I had, had enough and I broke it off.  It was a rough break up and her father put a price on my head for it, but it wasn't going to last forever. Yeah, you know that question you asked me about enemies before this? Well, there you go." *coy grin*

26. Married/Engaged/Other? "Nope, I'm absolutely single at the moment. Iara keeps telling me to go find someone because I need a good woman to tone my attitude down a bit. I keep telling her that it's never going to happen."

27 If yes, how did you meet?

28. Tell us your biggest secret. "My baba, or my mother's mother was considered a znakharka, which is basically a healer in their old country. Although most around Rhodes called her a witch, which is why she left." *leans forward* "she taught me a few things before she went though."

29. Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to. "To lose anymore of the people I care about. Which is probably why I try not to get too attached to very many people."

30. Favorite food? "Venison Stew, don't know why?"

30. Favorite drink? "Whiskey." *shrugs*

31. Tell us one thing you're the most proud of. "My little cousin Iara and how strong she has gotten. Honestly I don't know how she manages to pull through like she does. But if you're asking on my behalf, I ain't got much to be proud of myself."

32. Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either. "Pfft, I don't, there isn't... Let's move on." *shifts uncomfortably* Feminine voice from the background "Tell them about that time with the goat!" *Turns back to look at interviewer, eyes wide* "Nobody wants to hear about that Iara!"

33. If you didn't answer Questions 29 and/or 33, tell me why. "I don't think we should be ashamed of our fear, really."

34. Is that a good reason? "I think so."

Part VI: Closing

35. Are you satisfied with your life? "If you're asking me if I am I where I want to be, than no. Sometimes I just want to not have to worry about the world coming to strike me down, maybe if I were a better man that time would come."

36. Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now. "Find a place to call home for me, Gav, and Iara." 37. Any hobbies? "Not many, but I do like to play guitar. My grandfather was very good and he taught me."

38. Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me... "I'd wish that night never happened."

39. How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other? "Selfish, heck I dunno. Is it selfish to need to see the people you lost to feel whole again?"

40. Have you been honest with these questions? "Yeah, I guess. What, you calling me a liar?"

41. Your personal quote? "The devil will always need someone to blame."

42. Do you like change? "I can't get comfortable for the life of me, it doesn't matter whether I like it or not."

43. What's your most valued possession? *holds out a picture of a family* "This."

44. Anything else you feel like sharing? "Not really into sharing anything more. Something tells me I've already said too much."

50. Last question! How do you feel? "I feel like getting a bottle of whiskey and sitting under the stars, that's what I feel like."

I’m gonna tag @mileycyprus-hill 🤗

#rdro oc #rdr oc #myoc #my oc character #rdr2 oc #red dead online #red dead online oc

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

New Years Day’s Ash Costello: “I try not to give a f**k, like Marilyn Manson”

The lessons life has taught New Years Day frontwoman Ash Costello

Ash Costello has seen the best and the worst the music industry has to offer. Her band, Californian goth-metallers New Years Day, rose to prominence in the 00s on the back of MySpace buzz, only to find their career derailed when their record label went under following the release of the band’s debut album, My Dear. Where lesser bands would have crumbled, Costello refused to give up and eventually got things back on track with the follow-up, 2013’s Victim To Villain. Since then, she and NYD haven’t looked back, releasing their aptly-titled fourth album Unbreakable in 2019. This is what she’s learned from a life at the sharp end of the music industry.

Never have regrets

“In 2008-2009, New Years Day got shelved by a now- bankrupt record label and we didn’t even own our name so we couldn’t do anything for two years. That was really depressing but would I go back and warn myself not to sign to that record label? No way: everything happened exactly as it should. I’m a big hippy at heart; I’d rather let the universe point me in the direction, that’s how I’ve always lived my life and it’s worked out for me. I feel like I walk amongst my peers my age and at the same level as New Years Day and I feel like I know so much more than them. I’ve been in a band since I was 14, I’ve seen and been through it all, so a lot of people come to me for help, but at the same time I know I still have so much to learn.”

Social media opened up my world

“It’s so strange to think how much the music industry has changed since the MySpace days, but I was around even before social media came in. I was printing flyers and standing outside venues advertising to people from that area, there wasn’t a way to advertise to people across the world like there is now. The only thing more helpful than social media to artists is the home studio experience; since Pro Tools became accessible to everybody, anybody can make a demo or album in their bedroom.”

Keep your eyes on the prize

“I read somewhere that if you want to make it, you have to be obsessed with your craft, which I really am. I live this scene – it’s all I think about. Every day, I think about what’s going on in the scene around me and in other scenes outside of mine. I’m watching everything 24 hours a day. I make it a point to learn as much as possible every day.”

Sisters are doing it for themselves

“I can see how hard it is for bands to put butts on seats and sell tickets to shows, not a lot of bands can do that. So for only a three-band bill of three women selling out arenas one after another like it’s nothing, I know enough to know that’s a big deal. Our tour with Halestorm and In This Moment isn’t even finished yet – we have the UK and Europe left to go – but I never want it to end. To the credit of Lzzy Hale and Halestorm, though, they don’t need In This Moment and New Years Day to do that. They could do it just fine on their own.”

Sharing is caring

“Our label president came to our hotel room and saw all of our makeup and he goes, ‘Is this for both you guys?’ And Nikki [Misery, guitar] went, ‘Yeah, we share both our makeup.’ And they all ended up talking about how women’s makeup is better anyway. I’ve taught Nikki how to do his makeup – when we met, it was ghastly. He was using his fingers to put on eyeliner, I had to show him that there was an actual pencil and/or a brush to do that! He’s got really good now though, I don’t have to look over his shoulder anymore.”

Always be yourself… or be Marilyn Manson

“There’s a combination of front-people who, if they didn’t exist, without a doubt I would not be who I am, and Marilyn Manson is absolutely one of them. Both artistically, in his personality and his overall worldview, too, obviously his music is part of it but it’s more his intellect that inspired me. He’s intelligent and very well-spoken, very to-the-point and there’s no bullshit there. I’ve tried to not give a fuck like he does, but sometimes I fall off the wagon and I lash out at someone online who says something stupid. I have to remind myself, ‘This isn’t what Marilyn Manson would do, reel it in!’”

Gwen Stefani is an underrated idol

“Gwen Stefani has been a huge influence in my life since I was 10 years old, she’s the perfect mix of masculine and feminine. When she gets onstage, she’s incredibly powerful like one of the guys, but she’s not overly masculine, she’s still very cute and feminine. I don’t think she gets enough credit for mixing the two so flawlessly, especially when we all look back on her work. People accept her and move on but they don’t stop to think that what she does must have been very difficult.”

The best fashion statements are accidents

“I didn’t expect the popular response to my hair. A lot of people think it was calculated but that’s giving me way too much marketing and branding credit. It happened a long time ago, way before I started taking social marketing classes. I’ve dyed my hair since I was 10 and I’ve tried every colour combination and style you can think of. I just happened to do this one day around the time my band started taking off and people really liked it, so I kept it. I wish I could say there was a drawn-out thought process but there really wasn’t. What’s crazy is there are wigs out there that have definitely ripped off a photo of me on their packaging and people come to our shows wearing those wigs!”

Being a role model is tough

“I feel a lot of pressure to be a good role model but I’m very vocal that I’m an accidental role model. I didn’t ask to be one but I’ll do my best with the position and the importance of it. I try to use my voice for good as much as I can. My favourite thing we did on Warped Tour was when I had a class every day that 50-100 kids could sign up for, and I would talk to them about their issues and how much I understand the pressure they’re going through. Being a kid today with social media, I can’t imagine the pressure they’re under every day. We never had that as kids and it’s fucking them up. At this time depression, self-harm and suicide is at a high rate, and I think that definitely correlates to the influence of social media.”

Life goes on

“I’ve been on Warped Tour seven times over 10 years, the most any female musician has been on Warped. It’s a huge part of my life and that’s a whole decade to me, it’s one of the things that inspired me to pursue music and give my band a chance. Without it, I think it’s going to be very hard for smaller bands to get traction and exposure but, as a music listener and lover, I know things move on. Look at all the tours over the years that were so important and TV shows that were so important to exposing bands on a mass level; they have all come and gone but music has been just fine.”

Pick yourself up and dust yourself off

“My clothing brand Bat Royalty was one of the shittiest lessons in my life. Explaining it in terms of music: my bat boots, that have been copied by three dozen companies now, were the equivalent of writing a No.1 song. Imagine you’ve been in a band for a long time, you’ve written a song that’s gone to No.1, and the label rips it all out from underneath you as soon as you’ve finally made it. They take away the money you made for it and your rights to it, they take its chance of success afterwards. It was a very successful company but because of a lawsuit over my product, you can lose that success as quickly as you gained it.”

#ash costello #new years day #2020 interviews

[starringemiliaclarke]

Press: Emilia Clarke: ‘I didn’t want people to think of me as sick'

THE GUARDIAN – As she stars in this year’s Christmas feelgood movie, Emilia Clarke talks about the intense scrutiny of Game of Thrones, how she coped with the brain haemorrhage that almost killed her – and why we all need to escape reality sometimes

Gallery Links:

PHOTOSHOOTS & OUTTAKES > 2019 > 2019 The Guardian

MAGAZINES > 2019 > 2019 The Observer – Dec 1

  Emilia Clarke had a headache. It was 2011, just before Valentine’s Day and just after she’d wrapped on the first series of Game of Thrones, playing Daenerys Targaryen, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons. She didn’t yet know, as she crawled into the locker room of her local gym in north London and vomited bile into the toilet, that Game of Thrones would run for seven further seasons, break Emmy-award records for most wins for a scripted television series and for a drama, be named one of the greatest TV shows of all time, and quickly come to define her. But there was much she didn’t know.

She didn’t know that at 24 she had suffered a life-threatening stroke, a subarachnoid haemorrhage (SAH) caused by bleeding into the space surrounding the brain. She didn’t know, as she lay on the floor repeating lines from Game of Thrones in order to test her memory, that a third of SAH patients die immediately, or that those who survive require urgent treatment to avoid a second, often fatal bleed. She didn’t know there was another swollen blood vessel in her brain, which had doubled in size by the time she finished filming season three. She didn’t know that one day, eight years later, over biscuits on her pink sofa, she would be smiling with the dark realisation that her stroke was one of the best things that could have happened to her.

Her pink sofa is in her pink house, which is also green and blue and muted shades of rust, and has a secret bar hidden in a courtyard shed, and an outdoor screening room heated by a wood-burning stove. To walk into her living room, where one corner is painted with a symbol relating to her mum, another to her late dad, and a third with a meaningful dragon, is to enter the cosiest corner of Clarke’s mind. By the stairs, horsehair is visible in the plaster; the walls are stripped back to the bone. She shows me round with a raw sort of glee, a sense that her comfort and safety are bound into the details: the friends’ art on the walls, the “single girl’s” bedroom. She moved in after Game of Thrones; in this and many ways, her life can be cleanly dissected into before and after.

Before, Clarke, now 33, who grew up in Oxfordshire, had appeared in a single episode of the daytime soap Doctors. She was ambitious, optimistic and relentlessly cheerful. After, after Game of Thrones, and the death of her father, which shook her family, as did her life-threatening stroke, she is sitting on her pink sofa and contemplating a decade that changed her.

“And yes, I’m at the point where I definitely think of the brain haemorrhage as a good thing,” she nods. She has extremely expressive eyebrows that appear jointed – for every word Clarke says, and she says many, they add 15 more. “Because I was never destined to be the ‘young actor goes off the rails’ type, up and down the gossip columns. And having a brain haemorrhage that coincided precisely with the beginning of my career and the beginning of a show that became something quite meaty, it gave me a perspective that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.” She pauses. “I’m quite a resilient human being, so a parent dying and brain haemorrhages coinciding with success and people following you in the street and getting stalkers – you’re just, like, ‘Well let’s try and make something sensible of it.’”

It was a decade that contained the very best and very worst of a life, and one of the sensible things she tried to make of it was the founding of a charity, SameYou, to provide treatment for people recovering from brain injuries and stroke. It was only in order to promote the charity that, eight years after her stroke, she finally decided to talk about it, in a piece for the New Yorker. “On the set, I didn’t miss a beat, but I struggled,” she wrote, of returning to Game of Thrones after brain surgery. “Season two would be my worst. I didn’t know what Daenerys was doing. If I am truly being honest, every minute of every day I thought I was going to die.”

It’s remarkable, considering her profile and her regular appearances in the Daily Mail in lovely dresses and grand smiles, that she managed to keep it secret for so long. She didn’t want to tell strangers, “Because it was mine.” She feared, too, that people would “sneer at it”.

It so happened that, the week before I went to meet her, I had a similar (though less dramatic) neurological diagnosis – when I tell her about it, for some reason my voice shakes. She is warm and quick with recommendations, and as she continues she says, “Well, you know, then. You know the worries. That people will think your soul, your movement, your voice, who you were,” was damaged. “It was nerve-racking to share it, to be honest. It always is, when you make yourself vulnerable.” She waited so long to talk about it, because, “I didn’t want people to think of me as… sick.”

There are still days on set when she will quietly pull aside the makeup person and say, “‘I think I’m having a brain haemorrhage. I’m not, I promise, but maybe just put me in a cold tent and we’ll sit down for a second, and I apologise in advance if I freak you out.’ Over the summer I was burning the candle at both ends, and I was with my mate on the plane. And I was like, ‘Dude, I feel really weird…’ But I was fine. It’s hard not to think the worst. It’s hard to think you’re overtired, or you’ve been on Instagram too long, and to realise these might have the same side-effects as something deadly. But the charity evolves with me. I use it. Here’s something else that I feel: maybe someone else feels the same way.”

She talks about the summer just gone with a regretful kind of wonder – it was th e summer after the Game of Thrones finale had divided fans, when she was coming to terms with how the “overwhelming” amount of nudity in the first season had affected her. And, after years of “filling every hiatus with a movie, shit, good or otherwise” (she starred opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator Genisys, and as Qi’ra in Solo: a Star Wars Story) she had decided to take a break. Or, the decision was made for her.

“After we did the premiere for the last season, it felt suddenly like I lost all of the bones in my body. And I was in this puddle on the floor going, ‘Maybe this isn’t just the show.’ I’d never wanted to look around and see what we had, because I was convinced it was just going to blow up in our faces. And, well, at the end it kind of did. So I kept my head down. Then, after the premiere, I finally was able to stop, and that was difficult.” She travelled and went “raving with my mates, but that was not fulfilling. So, bloated and exhausted I went away for two weeks with my best girlfriend, [The Good Fight star] Rose Leslie, and it was in this retreat in India that I suddenly got it. This is what stopping feels like. And I was able to finally… be kind to myself.”

All this is recent. All this is really recent, with a new understanding of grief. Her beloved father, a theatre sound engineer, died of cancer in 2016. “The world felt like a scarier place once my dad wasn’t in it,” she said at the time. “There was the referendum, too,” she shudders. “It was the year of everything bad.”

But it was after her lost summer that, “I finally got this feeling. As if, on a cellular level, I’d grown up. And it’s so bittersweet, because I was clinging on to that childlike optimism. Then, when I finally let it go, I realised that was actually quite a heavy backpack to be wearing. I felt like that at the Emmys, too, finally popping my head up from the bunker. It’s as if you can see the actual landscape that you’ve been living in this entire time from another perspective.”

Occasionally she looks at me apologetically, her eyebrows like arrows, to check she’s not saying too much, and then she continues. “It can be perceived as such a feminine trait, can’t it – the responsibility to ‘put a smile on it’. And, and you feel like it’s a defeat if you give in and admit, ‘Maybe it’s not going to be OK in the end.’ But then, if you do, then you have an opportunity to go… ‘and what if that’s all right?’ Death is shit,” she says, dramatically. “It’s really hard and grief is horrific, and yet it is completely and utterly guaranteed. No matter how much Silicon Valley boys want to prove to everyone it’s not. But the finality of death, the absolute certainty of it, I’ve realised, is such a tonic.”

Along with a good stroke, I add the loss of a parent to her list of recommendations. “No! I’m not recommending it to anyone, obviously. But it is something real you can actually hold on to. We don’t look at grief properly. I’m not talking about the random moments of completely overwhelming emotion, I’m pretty in control of that… there was only one time on set where I just physically couldn’t stop crying. It’s the other stuff that we don’t discuss – the functional grief; when your worldview and your perspective on life and yourself changes irrevocably, forever.”

How is she dealing with that? “By realising that there is a framework that life lives within, and knowing when you reach the edges of it. There’s that. And I try to use the shit feelings as opposed to just ‘breathing through it’. It’s like putting my plastic in the recycling bin – it might not do anything, but I should at least try. And then being an actor and having a production company, knowing that the greater understanding I have about life, the greater storyteller I can be. As an actor, you’re always observing – no matter what trauma you’re going through, there’s a wee bit of your brain that’s like, ‘Isn’t this fascinating?’”

Every time I interview a famous person I leave feeling slightly high and slightly sad, because to enter their fabulous world also, inevitably, means you see the shadow of their cage. The imposed disconnect, for instance. And the constant smiling and the many locks. Clarke was catapulted to extreme fame during a period when she nearly lost her mind. She started to find gifts outside her door, from one of many stalkers. One, she says, is extremely unwell, another extremely mean. “The stalker stuff is just horrible because, as a single lady walking around town, I already feel like I’m being followed.”

These stalkers believe they’re having a relationship with her, “which is confusing, because having a relationship with people I don’t know is a big part of what I signed up for. I care about what art does to people. But it carries with it a responsibility, and when you leave your front door you take that with you. And it’s a difficult path to navigate. Because sometimes,” and she’s talking about fans now, the line between the two often being blurred, “you get grabbed physically and your instincts kick in. When you see shock being registered on someone else’s face, you’re like, ‘Where’s the danger?’ And then you realise, oh, it’s me – I’m the danger.”

Her fanbase is due to change shortly, as she maps out her career without dragons. Clarke’s new film is Last Christmas and is based on the Wham! song. While it is a box-office hit, reviews have been… mixed. “The kind of bad,” said Rolling Stone, “that falls somewhere between finding a lump of coal in your stocking and discovering one painfully lodged in your rectum.” It threatens to become a cult classic. Reader, I loved it.

Clarke plays a woman whose messy life, it becomes clear, is partly a result of recent illness. “I was able,” she says darkly, “to bring a lot to the role.” There is a romantic twist, a twist so gooey it may cause diabetes in vulnerable audiences, but there is a second twist, in that this film (co-written by Emma Thompson) could prove to be the most effective piece of anti-Brexit propaganda of the festive season. Clarke (with Thompson as her mother) plays the youngest of a family of first-generation immigrants, dealing with the fallout of the referendum.

“We filmed a scene of a hate crime,” Clarke says, a scene on a London bus where a couple are told to go back to where they came from. “And Emma said, ‘Come on, let’s be honest: haven’t we all witnessed something similar?’” She loved working on this film, in part because of the women in charge, “who recognised that we all had a life outside this movie. You don’t have to have a vagina to do that, but the difference lay in that slight… lack of patriarchy?” And in part because of the intersection between entertainment and what she describes as “meaning”. Something she continues to search for, albeit with regular disclaimers of privilege, and embarrassment.

“The world is scary at the moment, both politically and environmentally. You have politicians pushing people to the absolute limits of their left versus right parameters, and the middle ground that we were all living in before is now wasteland, because both sides are life or death. It feels so much more polarised and extreme than ever. You’ve got 33-year-olds like me asking, ‘Should I bring kids into this world? If I do, what will that kid feel like?’ It feels frightening, consistently. And I’m not alone. I’m leaning hard on Bake Off right now.”

But the fear has made her reassess her work, post-Game of Thrones. “Entertainment is about taking you outside of yourself for a second, which is largely what I think the success of Game of Thrones was. People wanted to see something familiar, but also have that level of separation, through dragons and magic. Escapism is what lots of people go to art for. So, if we can cherry-pick stories to tell people in a shitty time, I’d like to give them something really good. It could make them feel better, or less alone, or make them realise there’s something outside of their front door that they should care about.”

She takes a sharp breath. “You know, I spent a lot of time being like, ‘What I do is all bullshit. I’m completely selfish, a total narcissist.’ And then…” And then the world hit her at a great speed, and she emerged into this new adulthood, and 10 years crawled over her like glittering rats. “And then I realised what it was for. I help provide relief. And that’s worth something, especially now. Right?”

It takes a second before I realise she is waiting for an answer. “Right,” I say, reassuringly. “Right.”

Last Christmas is in cinemas nationwide now

Press: Emilia Clarke: ‘I didn’t want people to think of me as sick’ was originally published on Enchanting Emilia Clarke | Est 2012

#emilia clarke #game of thrones #game of thrones cast #GOT cast #daenerys targaryen #me before you #terminator

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR STONE OCEAN UNDER THE CUT

My thoughts on Stone Ocean Volume 1.

I spoiled myself pretty badly for Stone Ocean. Most people don’t seem to like it or take it seriously, so things tend to come up casually in conversation or online. So I knew going into this that I was going to have a hard time in the sense that a lot of really, really bad things happen to Jolyne.

Despite being prepared for the worst, I was still kind of stunned by how terrible things are in just the first few chapters. Terrible thing after terrible thing happens to Jolyne, many of which are some of my worst fears:

Her parents are divorced and her father, Jotaro, is completely absent and uncaring.

Her first love, presumably the only man who’s ever claimed to love her, who she’s blissfully, naively affectionate with, Romeo, is a complete and total scumbag. He drinks and drives, steals cars, and is probably involved in other illegal activities. While it’s not totally clear what their relationship is like, he’s probably taking advantage of her in some way.

Jolyne distracts Romeo from driving in a romantic moment, leading to him hitting and fatally injuring someone.

Romeo convinces Jolyne not to call an ambulance and to help him hide the evidence by stuffing the body into the trunk of his car.

Jolyne is arrested in her home.

In jail, a guard catches Jolyne masturbating, leaving her feeling humiliated.

Jolyne refuses to rat out Romeo, leading to her being prosecuted for both his and her crimes.

Not knowing what the Stand arrow is, Jolyne carelessly throws away the amulet from Jotaro.

Romeo pays Jolyne’s lawyer, who is working with a crooked judge, to prevent Jolyne from seeing her mother and to convince her to take a bad plea bargain.

This results in Jolyne confessing to crimes that she didn’t commit; being convicted of murder, abandonment of a body, and grand theft auto; and receiving a 15 year prison sentence.

The cruel prison staff put Jolyne in a straight jacket in a hot room intentionally to make her pass out.

They also force her to strip naked and display her body to them, along with poking her in the eyes and forcing her to sign a contract saying that their abusive and unsound medical examination was accurate.

Jolyne’s cellmate, Guess, acquires a Stand after coming into possession of the amulet and uses it to torment Jolyne.

It’s just painful to read. Jolyne starts out weak and emotionally crippled, and terrible things just keep happening to her. It seems like almost every other panel is her about to cry or wanting to give up or kill herself. There’s nothing wrong with writing about terrible things or people in tremendous pain, and people can work through their trauma and become stronger...but it just feels depressing and hopeless. Jolyne is so weak, has such little resolve, such poor moral character that she couldn’t even assert herself to her boyfriend when someone’s life was in question. It’s no wonder that Stone Free is so weak that the limit of its strength is crushing a coin (embarrassingly underpowered compared to most JoJos’ Stands). It’s surprising that Jolyne is able to have a Stand at all—does she really have any fighting spirit? How can a person like this hope to overcome all of the struggles that keep piling up on her, much less fight a universe-threatening evil?

I say this with nothing but love and affection for Jolyne. I don’t blame her for being weak. It’s very obviously not her fault. But she is weak, and I say that not out of criticism but out of concern. I can’t see how she can bear such great responsibility right now. She needs time and love and support so that she can grow stronger.

I won’t pass judgment on Araki for writing her this way either, because I do believe that stories about pain and trauma and imperfect, troubled people are important and powerful. Jolyne Cujoh, with her troubled morality and intense expressions of emotion, has the potential to say a lot about coping with trauma, in a way that greatly contrasts with a character like Giorno Giovanna, son of evil incarnate, with two other highly abusive and neglectful parents, yet who somehow never expresses his trauma in a toxic way, has resolve in abundance, and maintains an idealistic protectiveness of others. Jolyne certainly makes more sense to me than Giorno does (although there may be explanations for why Giorno is the way he is).

But if Araki does all this to Jolyne only to crush her spirit even further, kill her off, and have her team lose their battle...I just don’t know if I would see much value in that. Redemption and recovery are one thing. Writing a character to be broken from the beginning and then spending the rest of the story kicking them over and over again while they’re down until they die is...I don’t even know. I don’t know why someone would write a story like that, and I especially don’t understand it when it’s JoJo, a series that I thought was about the beauty of humanity and the strength of the human spirit.

I think part of my surprise at Stone Ocean tracks back to the fact that even knowing a lot of what happens, I still expected Jolyne to kinda be your average JoJo protagonist, masculine and strong and dominant and resolute and good. Actually, at one point, I was kind of afraid that she would just be a female Jotaro clone (she is his daughter, after all).

But she is...not. Those things. And again there’s a part of me that’s like, this could be really good. It’s really bold to have a protagonist who’s so different from the others in the series, so troubled, so flawed. And also so feminine and so affectionate; I really don’t like that all of the female JoJo characters are either pure/soft/kind and powerless or powerful but bitchy, so it’d be nice to see a female character who is openly, shamelessly loving and affectionate, but also very powerful (like Sailor Moon!).

It’s okay to have a different kind of protagonist, but if that different person ends up being the only JoJo who dies and loses...what exactly does that say? She is also the only JoJo to sort of/potentially kill a completely innocent civilian. I don’t want to be, like, “that feminist” or anything but...really...she is the only female JoJo. If she’s also objectively the worst JoJo, that sends a pretty terrible message. And I just don’t see why it should have to be this way.

Even if Jolyne does grow stronger, I won’t feel good about her as a character until/unless she comes to terms with the fact that she may have killed someone. What happened to her is absolutely awful and I feel terrible for her, but it still stands that she had some responsibility and some choice. She shouldn’t have been distracting Romeo while he was driving, and she should have called an ambulance once she saw that someone was hit. While Romeo undoubtedly bears most of the responsibility as the one driving and the one who first suggested that they hide the evidence and then pressured Jolyne into complying, I can’t pretend that Jolyne had no influence or free will at all.

It makes me feel terrible to think about Jolyne trying to cope with what she did. I can just imagine her crushed by the guilt, wanting to kill herself, unable to continue.

But it makes me feel even worse to think about her refusing to acknowledge her responsibility. She keeps saying that she was “framed,” which is technically true; she was framed for crimes that she did not commit. But at least in English (and I’m not sure if this is a quirk in translation), “framed” generally has the connotation of complete innocence; if someone was framed, they didn’t actually do anything. But even if Romeo hadn’t framed Jolyne for his crimes, Jolyne would still be guilty. If the person hit was still alive, she assisted in committing a murder by helping to put him into the trunk of the car. If he was already dead, it’s still desecration of a corpse and tampering with evidence. The latter is obviously infinitely less serious than the former, but we’ll never really know which one it is, since neither Romeo nor Jolyne even checked to see if the man was still alive, much less called a paramedic who could confirm death.

Jolyne Cujoh makes me feel really conflicted. I don’t know what to expect from here on out. I really want things to work out for her...but I already kinda know that they ultimately don’t. I want her to come to terms with what she did...but I fear that she sees herself as completely innocent and will never acknowledge that she did anything wrong.

I’ll keep reading, for now. But I can’t promise I’ll actually be able to finish this.

#text #thoughts #manga #JoJo no Kimyō na Bōken #JoJo #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #JJBA #Stone Ocean #Jolyne Cujoh #abuse #trauma #crime #murder #betrayal #prison

[gayagendaofficial]

Wait, what’s gay lingo? Like, what does twink, bear, etc. mean?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

Before I get into actually defining these terms, I’d like to write about a few things:

So this is probably in reference to this post I made. Not to explain the joke to death, but that’s exactly what I’m about to do. I wanted to make fun of how people who aren’t mlm think they know what mlm terms like “twink” and “bear” mean and how they blatantly use them incorrectly everywhere, because they think they’re funny (bc gay men are a joke, right? //sarcasm), or because it makes them look “woke”. It’s an idea I had for the longest time when I saw something a str8 woman wrote about Zac Efron being a twink, in the present. Like yes, Zac Efron was a twink, past tense, but he is absolutely not a twink anymore (if you can even call a str8 man a twink). And she also implied that being a twink is something you can’t outgrow, which is laughable, because it’s kind of a meme among gay men that being a twink is something you grow out of whether you like it or not.

This mostly seems to be a problem among cishet women, since cishet men tend to be too concerned with their “masculinity” to touch gay culture. But since this is tumblr and virtually none of you are cishet, a lot of the times I’ve seen people misuse these terms on this site were LGBT+ people who weren’t themselves mlm. In those cases, the reasons seem more that these people are just misinformed, and they use these terms because mlm use these terms, and we share a community. Part of it comes from the fact that wlw might see the terms “twink” and “bear” as analogous to “femme” and “butch” respectively, which is not true in the slightest (Butch and femme are their own complex thing. What they actually have in common with twink and bear is that few outside their communities actually know what they mean lol).  Another reason might be that other LGBT people see mlm using these terms sarcastically and think they’re being used in earnest; if an actual gay man calls a bodybuilder a twink, he’s probably being sarcastic, and also probably trying to insult him (which is a whole can of worms I’ll open up in a bit).

I’m gonna try to define what “twink”, “bear”, and a couple of other terms actually mean, as well as give a little bit of context to how they’re used and controversy surrounding these identities within gay spaces, partially based on my experience as a gay man and partially based on casual research. I’m just one gay man, and I’m not an expert in queer studies or anything, so take from that what you will. I hope this will be useful to mlm who are just discovering their identities and exploring their sexuality/gender, who are new to the community, and I also hope to inform our siblings elsewhere in the LGBT community. This info could also be useful to cishet allies, although please be mindful of your intentions in using these terms.

Anywho, lets get to the definitions:

A twink is a young, smooth, slim mlm. The definition here is generally seen as being pretty strict on those 3 criteria, although “twink” is sometimes used for older mlm who are skinny and don’t have much body hair. Those last two criteria are the most important, because there are other categories for mlm that fit one of the criteria; an otter is essentially twink + bodyhair, and there’s a whole host of other words for other body types.

The definition of “bear” is a little more flexible than “twink”, although it generally comes down to the inverses of those same 3 criteria. The most important of these is the bodyhair requirement; any definition you find of bear includes something about being hairy. Almost as important as bodyhair is body type, although “bear” covers a slightly larger range than twink in that regard. Usually, “bear” indicates that someone is large or plus-sized, although it can also sometimes be used to describe someone who is muscular in the sense that they are beefy (if you can see a 6 pack, he’s probably not a bear). It’s also sometimes associated with being slightly older, but that’s not nearly as important, and “bear” can refer to any age. The term “cub” refers to mlm with the same body type as a bear, but who are smooth and young.

Now, let’s get into some misconceptions/controversies surrounding these terms. The first of these is that twink and bear are the only two options, and that all mlm fall into one of these two categories, or that other terms are simply variations on those two main terms. This misconception is really only one held by people who aren’t mlm themselves (or are, but are only just learning the terminology). These terms are extremely specific, and the fact of the matter is that the vast majority of mlm don’t fit into either of these categories. And that’s ok! There are a ton of other words mlm use to describe themselves. I’ve already mentioned “otter” and “cub”; there’s also “jock”, which refers to muscular mlm; “wolf”, which also refers to muscular mlm, but specifically hairy ones (with a bit of overlap with the “beefier bears” I mentioned earlier); the relatively new term “twunk” which you may know from this video as “a combination twink and hunk”; and many many more. In addition, all of these categories are really just physical descriptions of your body, and don’t have any bearing on anything else. You don’t need to fit into any of them.

That being said, there are a number of stereotypes associated with these terms, and it is important to address them.

Our next misconception is one that’s as common among mlm as as it is among everyone else: that twinks are by definition fem, and bears are by definition masc. “Masc” and “fem”, short for masculine and feminine respectively, come with their own host of problems, and that is a can of worms that I am not going to open up right now. This post is long enough as it is. If you want the sparknotes version of the controversy surrounding the masc-fem dichotomy, it basically boils down to misogyny, transphobia, and internalized homophobia. But back to twinks and bears: I would like to assume that it’s obvious that your body type or bodyhair has absolutely no impact  on your personal presentation of gender. There are plenty of fem bears and masc twinks. But unfortunately, most people don’t seem to get this. And this super important, because the gendered way we think of these terms affects everything else I’ll be talking about in the remainder of this post.

My next point, which is really and observation based on my experience in the gay community, is that bear as a term seems to be much less… loaded. However, being a twink myself, there might be a gap in my personal experience, so any bears feel free to correct me. However, from what I’ve seen, “bear” isn’t really used as an insult in the way “twink” is. Which is a bit of a miracle, considering how prevalent fat-shaming is in the gay community. From what I’ve seen, bear isn’t a term that’s forced on you, it’s a term that bears choose for themselves, almost always in a positive way. It’s a term associated with body positivity, and bear communities seem to be much less toxic than the gay community as a whole. Even when it’s used to describe someone else, it’s always a neutral statement of fact. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used as an insult, or even sarcastically. The worst I’ve seen of it is that it’s used as a porn category, which contributes to the fetishization of fat people; but then again, twink and jock are also porn categories, so it would be weird for bear not to be. This isn’t to suggest that bears are treated better than anyone else in the gay community, if anything they’re treated worse; just that the word “bear” itself has neutral to positive connotations. (Again, any bears correct me on this if you’ve seen it used negatively!)

Twink, on the other hand, is absolutely used as an insult, and frequently. And while this may sometimes be harmless, more often than not it’s really problematic. If you’re plus-sized and you use twink as an insult in the same vein that Nicki Minaj said “fuck the skinny bitches”, that’s completely fine. Twinks are seen as being desirable (if they behave a certain way; more on that later), so effectively it’s punching up instead of punching down. However, a good 95% of the time that “twink” is used as an insult, it really comes from one of the many stereotypes that all essentially boil down to the idea that twinks are fem. And the idea that being fem is inherently bad and insult worthy is, once again, rooted in misogyny, transphobia, and internalized homophobia. 

This association between twinks and femininity also has a lot of scary implications on the beauty standards twinks are held to. I’ve noticed that twinks fill a niche in the gay community that is similar to the role cis women are supposed to fill in western culture as large, and that we’re only seen as sexually valuable if we perform the same behaviors and meet the same beauty standards that are typically reserved for women. We’re bottoms by default, submissive both in and out of the bedroom (yes I actually am a sub bottom, but that’s beside the point). We’re supposed to maintain a completely smooth, hairless appearance; a shaved ass is the bare minimum of hygiene. I once met a guy on grindr who demanded that I be completely hairless everywhere beneath my eyelashes, and while that’s a bit extreme, he was by no means an outlier. Just today I talked to a guy who wanted me hairless between my neck and knees. We’re often seen as vapid and stupid, and infantilization of twinks is rampant (some guys put way too much emphasis on the young part of the definition). And, to cap it all off, there’s the racism! Who’d’a thunk that all forms of oppression are connected? (sarcasm). Twinks can of course be any race, but the ones you’ll see men on grindr going after the most are white or light-skinned Asian twinks. Combine that with stereotypes of Black, Latino, and Middle Eastern men as dominant and aggressive, and you have a whole slew of white supremacist ideas painted over with a thin coat of gay porn.  (mlm of color who’d like to add or correct me on anything, please do so!)

I’ll end this already long post with a comparatively brief discussion on who these terms apply to. Basically, if you’re an mlm and you fit the definition of “twink” or “bear”, congratulations! You’re a twink/bear! “Can bi men use these terms?” Of course! “What about trans men?” Are you attracted to men and male-aligned people? Then of course! That last one might be controversial to some cis gays, and to that I say fuck right off. However, it does get a bit muddier with trans women and transfem nonbinary people and the word twink. Trans women are absolutely not mlm, but many of them have been a part of mlm communities for a long time, often before they even realized they were trans, and some may be reluctant to give up the word twink (I haven’t seen this for bear, although again, lmk if you’ve seen evidence to the contrary). And on top of that, a lot of cis men looking to have sex with trans women conflate trans women and cis twinks. Because remember what I said about twinks filling the niche of women? It’s often a niche they share with trans women, except trans women have it even worse, because they are actually women. My two cents is, if a trans woman wants to refer to herself as a twink, she’s more than welcome to. Just don’t go around calling trans women “twinks” unless they specifically say you can; it’s a gendered term, you are misgendering them, and, once again, you can fuck right off. (trans women also please comment if you want!)

Well, anon, I bet you weren’t expecting a post this long. At least I hope y’all learned something! Be gay do crimes!

#mlm #twink #bear #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt+ #lgbtq+ #gay culture #ask #anon #sfw #long post #transphobia // #misogyny // #racism // #fatphobia //

[nightcoremoon]

I wanna coin a term:

Cismisogyny

the misogyny that cisnormative people utilize is focused on "biological/natal sex" and birth assigned gender, as well as intersex erasure, and is basically just glorified genital supremacy. that people with penises have power over people with vaginas, and therefore people with a uterus are inferior. it's a very particular type of sexism that's a blend of transphobia and misogyny but from a cis lens.

transmisogyny is specifically prejudice against what they deem to be trans women (as they're unaware that "passing" trans women exist), so cismisogyny would be specifically prejudice against what they deem to be cis women (or what they would just say is women), and is a separate notion entirely from the misogyny that misogynist trans men and misogynist but not transphobic cis men (and brainwashed dumb white blonde haired blue eyed bimbo trophy wives for conservative men so think a cookie cutter carbon copy of tomi lahren) frequently feel.

so to clarify:

Misogyny: hating all women

Transmisogyny: hating trans women

Transphobia*: hating trans people in general

(*includes gender binarism and truscum)

Cismisogyny: hating people with vaginas, indeterminate of whether they're trans or not

...

It's a very specific term but it describes a very specific type of sexism, you see. As someone who does not have a vagina, is transgender, and has the benefit of viewing things from an objective standpoint due to autism, it's a very disturbing trend I see in many parts of society. Even here on Tumblr.

I just saw a take that was blaming trans men and dfab nonbinary people for the lack of trans women's voices in trans spaces, and saying that they are silent about it because the silent oppression of trans women benefits them. A very cold take indeed. Trans men and dfab nonbinary people aren't responsible for the transmisogyny. Cis people are. And the reason why is because cis people typically are usually also male supremacists. If what a cis person perceives to be a male tries to "become a female" such as trans women and dmab nonbinary people (because cis people and male supremacists typically are also binarists), that is them rejecting the privilege society awarded us for having the magic Y chromosome that allows humans to be treated with dignity and respect. If what a cis person perceives to be a female tries to "become a male" such as a trans man or a dfab nonbinary person (see my prior parenthical remark), that is them attempting to reject femininity and embrace the superiority of masculinity, which accepts them into their ranks.

So trans men and dfab nonbinary people are typically lauded by many cis male-supremacist people are socially acceptable, especially since many of them seem to be okay with tomboys and women wearing suits and just a general overall sense of women embracing masculinity and rejecting femininity. That's acceptable to a bunch of white christian post-colonials. And of course degenerates would feel it's an "added bonus" to ~get~ to see breasts and vaginas in the locker room because tHaTs sO hOt.

But dmab people who identify as anything but men? Absolutely loathsome, in cis eyes, because femininity is EVIL and BAD and INFERIOR.

Cissexism is of course a definition I've seen, but it seems to be basically a synonym for transphobia. But see, while cismisogyny as I am describing it is indeed rooted in transphobic ideology, it doesn't seem to be in and of itself explicitly transphobic. I'll have to explain that.

Like. All white people are racist. Every person with white skin color benefits from the privilege accompanying it, at the expense of the people who don't. We perform microaggressions that we don't notice all the time. We absorb all of the negativity and racism society forcefeeds us, subliminal propaganda, and it releases itself. Now, a white person could actively fight and campaign for black rights. They could respect black culture and art. They could listen to and understand wu tang clan without ever letting a slur pass their lips. They could date black people who don't find them racist. They could be the least racist person you've ever met. But they would still be at least somewhat racist because that's how human development works. But just because they're not republican or a 4channer, don't laugh at lynching jokes, don't use slurs, don't treat black people as less or inferior, don't literally murder black people, that doesn't mean they aren't racist at all. It just means they're not specifically that kind of overt explicitly violent antiblackness like the kkk. It's a different tier of racism. It's not as severe or as noticeable, but it's still racism.

And it's the same way with cis people. Many cis people are supportive of trans people on the surface. They'll smile and welcome you into their homes and hug you and walk you to the bathroom and respect your name/pronouns and go clothes shopping with you and be the shoulder to cry on when someone attacks them and fight congress for your rights and punch a transphobic asshole in the face. But they still can & do perform transphobic microagressions for no other reason than society instilled those ideals in their heads since birth when they put the M or F on your birth certificate or in slightly rarer cases performed surgery on your infant genitals without parental consent. They can sympathize, they can attempt to empathize, but they will never fully understand. And that's okay. If they try, that's good enough.

Just as there are many tiers of racism there are many tiers of transphobia. Cismisogyny is one such tier that intersects with binarism and standard misogyny. People who aren't typically transphobic could still be cismisogynist. Even I can admit to experience cismisogyny in my life through sexual exploitation. My orientation is bisexual with a strong preference towards cis women, trans men, and dfab nonbinary people. I don't want it to be like that. And it's not like cis men, trans women, and dmab nonbinary people are not attractive to me, because they are (unf chris hemsworth 👌🏻🤤), but due to the social conditioning in my being born and raised a "straight white christian red blooded hoosier man" and the cismisogyny accompanying that, the entitlement complex that manifested side by side with my "nice guy in the friend zone" complex, that I didn't unlearn until after I was already a fully grown adult, that's how my brain be like. I recognize it in myself, and that's how I know that it exists. And it took that ignorant shitty post for me to actually be able to put these thoughts in writing.

I don't blame trans men and dfab nonbinary people for my social isolation and distinct lack of friends who are also trans women. I don't blame this new wave of drag kings and bio queens. I blame cissexism, cisheteropatriarchy, transphobia, transmisogyny, and cismisogyny. I blame the people responsible for the situation of our society. I don't blame my brothers, my siblings, my friends and family. I won't throw them under the bus, just as they didn't throw me under. We're all in this together, and I'm glad that they're having less difficulty than I am in that specific situation. Especially because due to my aforementioned objectivity, I've also noticed all of the hatred and vitriol hurled towards them, especially by dudebro gamer culture. I've seen it. I know it's there.

So I know I'm not really popular online. Very few people know me. My only claim to fame is the "aliens: [slide $40 to nasa] nasa: lmao what aliens" post and even then they don't know the individual URLs of the three of us involved. In fact I'm pretty sure the number of people I'm blacklisted by and blocked by is double my follower count. Even with the bots. Maybe even triple. Things I've said taken out of context have in the past made me look like I'm racist, transmisandrist, a sexual predator, a fucking rape apologist, and worst of all a person who "didn't get a joke" that I ignored heaving pile of religious intolerance that hates jews, muslims, christians, and... everyone else (people who weren't judeochristian didn't seem to care). Certain circlejerks herald me as a king of clowns of a sort (I'd say queen but they were mostly transphobic lmao). So I know that this post will get ignored. Maybe two or three people will like it. Maybe one person will reblog it... like that one crimson lady monarch, or the mildly irked homosexual wyvern, you two know who you are. Maybe nobody will. And looking back it's much more likely for a bunch of dumb uglyass terf cunts taking my sexual preferences bit out of context to make all trans women look like evil sex predators, than any people will see my vocabulary suggestion. But there is a reason why I'll hit post and not delete.

Cismisogynist trans women don't speak for me. Despite the problematic microaggressions my shit tier bad brain development perpetuates, despite what any ignorant cis tries to tell me, despite all of that shit... if you try to talk shit about my family I will obliterate you.

[mvlcolms]

*clears throat*  is  this  thing  on  ?  hi  friends  im  mella  !  i  go  by  feminine  pronouns  n  am  19  yrs  of  achy  joints  and  random  migraines  .  basically  19  going  on  107  .  i’m  here  to  introduce  u  to  malcolm  .  fair  warning  tho  ..  he  is  the  worst  .  so  if  u  dont  hate  both  of  us  by  the  end  of  this  ,  feel  free  to  like  this  or  hmu  so  we  can  plot  smth  ? 

❛ welcome  to  new  york  ,  malcolm  hansen  .  your  resemblance  to  herman  tommeraas  is  absolutely  uncanny  .  by  the  looks  of  your  tesla  roadster  ,  we’re  thinking  you’ll  fit  right  in  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  had  your  twenty  second  birthday  bash  .  your  chances  of  making  it  in  the  city  are  dicey  since  you’re  unscrupulous  ,  but  being  captivating  gives  you  an  advantage  .  (  cismale  &  he/him  ) 

SO  let  me  introduce  u  to  malcolm  richard  hansen  iii  ,  but  if  u  call  him  anything  other  than  mac  ,  he  prob  will  throw  hands  .  he  comes  from  olllllld  money  ,  nobody  rly  knows  how  the  family  got  rich  initially  but  his  grandpa  (  the  og  malcolm  )  made  even  more  money  by  creating  a  very  successful  record  label  thats  now  rly  dominant  in  the  music  industry  .  his  grandpa  is  currently  79  yrs  old  n  just  recently  stepped  out  as  the  ceo  but  is  still  has   a  lot  of  influence  in  the  company  and  obviously  in  the  family  .  this  might  sound  irrelevant  but  it  will  be  important  later  on  i  promise  .

ok  so  mac  was  born  to  mac  jr  and  a  former  singer  named  tara  michaels  .  they  met  when  she  was  in  the  record  label  building  , for  a  meeting  in  regards  to  a  possible  contract  and  the  rest  was  history  ?  grandpa  hated  tara  and  made  no  secret  of  his  opinions  abt  her  .  basically  he  thought  she  was  a  golddigger  (  she  was  )  and  his  son  was  stupid  (  also  true  )  ,  and  even  refused  to  attend  their  wedding ceremony .  needless  to  say  ,  as  soon  as  they  got  married  ,  the  couple  left  sunny  california  n  settled  down  in  chicago  .

mac  was  his  first  male  grandchild  tho  ,  n  even  if  he  hated  his  mother  n  resented  his  dads  stupidity  ,  mac  was  kinda  like  his  golden  child  .  so  senior  kinda  stole  his  grandson  ?  not  rly  but  he  did  keep  him  in  la  every  summer  n  holidays  ,  when  he  wasnt  in  school  in  chicago  .

so  mac  rly  looked  up  to  his  grandpa  growing  up  even  if  he  also  thought  he  was  an  asshole  ?  they  werent  super  close  but  had  a  lot  of  respect  for  each  other  ,  n  mac  much  preferred  spending  his  time  with  og  mac  than  with  mac  jr  n  his  ma   (  oh  boy  this  is  bound  to  get  confusing  )  .  but  yea  ,  his  grandpa  was  a  huge  influence  on him  while  growing  up  ,  which  was  mayhaps  not  a  good  idea  .

once  he  graduated  high  school  ,  his  grandpa  told  him  that  he  wanted  him  to  run  the  company  in  his  dads  place  bc  he  wasnt  leaving  a  multibillion  dollar  company  for  that  doofus  ,  but  sneaky  old  mac  told  him  that  there  were  terms  to  this  development  .  mac  would  get  the  company  once  he  retired  ,  but  since  his  father  had  been  such  a  dumb  fuck  ,  he  would  only  get  the  company  n  his  money  ,  if  he  married  a  woman  approved  by  the  senior  before  he  kicked  the  bucket  .  mac  threw  an  absolute  fit  ,  but  eventually  came  to  the  conclusion  that  he’d  rather  marry  someone  for  convenience  than  be  poor  for  the  rest  of  his  life  .  which  tbh  so  would  i  .

ENTER  ARRANGED  FIANCÉE  .  they’ve  been  engaged  for  about  two  yrs  now  but  no  one  is  in  any  rush  for  the  actual  marriage  .  the  deal  was  that  they  only  had  to  do  it  before  senior  died  ,  n  since  he’s  in  pretty  much  perfect  help  ,  the  duo  is  just  biding  their  time  .  mac  moved  to  nyc  to  live  w/  the  fiancée  ,  but  as  of  now  ,  they  r  pretty  much  just  roommates  atm  .  so  yeah  basically  thats  how  mac  ended  up  in  this  moment  in  his  life  lmao  . 

in  regards  to  his  personality  ,  mac  is  pretty  much  a  mini  version  of  malcolm  senior  .  he’s  v  confident  (  cocky  )  n  has  a  LOT  of  trouble  trying  to  view  life  by  any  other  point  of  view  than  his  own  .  very  selfish  and  honestly  not  a  guy  u  can  put  ur  trust  in  ?  he’s  not  like  a  super  asshole  or  anything  ,  is  in  fact  rly  charming  n  can  be  a  great  person  to  hang  out  w/  but  if  you’re  his  best  friend  n  he  feels  like  he  can  get  away  w/  hooking  up  w  your  mom  ? 12/10  will  do  it  .

is  mad  into  parties  ?  always  hanging  out  in  the  hottest  spots  w  all  different  kinds  of  ppl  until  the  sun  is  comin  up  .  he  has  weird  views  when  it  comes  to  dating  which  is  lowkey  for  is  kinda  an  asshole  who  gives  no  fucks  n  usually  ends  up  being  hated  by  his  exes  .

but  he’s  also  a  super  fun  guy  to  be  around  !!  will  always  be  down  for  a  good  time  n  do  his  best  to  cheer  u  everyone  around  him  .  u  r  always  going  to  be  entertained  around  him  there  isnt  even  a  choice  .

he  works  on/off  for  the  record  label  ,  mostly  monitoring  bigger  artists  n  such  because  we  love  nepotism  around  here  friends  ,  but  he  also  does  music  every  once  in  a  while  ?  its  not  frequent  ,  n  he  mostly  writes  songs  for  other  artists  , but  he  has  previously  released  an  album  n  scored  a  couple  of  #1s  .  i  pretty  much  think  of  his  vc  n  style  as  bazzi’s  ,  but  he’s  definitely  not  super  active  as  a  singer .

so  far  this  is  pretty  much  it  for  mac  .  i’m  still  working  on  him  a   little  ,  but  this  is  an  alright  outline  of  his  for  now  .  i’m  gonna  list  some  possible  connections  but  those  are  gonna  be  pretty  basic  .  feel  free  to  hmu  in  my  ims  or  on  discord   (  mella is lost #1597  )  where  i  am  p  much  all  the  time  so  we  can  come  up  w  some  bomb  ideas ?

someone  whos  signed  to  the  label  n  they  connected  through  it  ?  could be  all  kinds  of  stuff  actually  .  

best  friends  bc  even  demons  need  those  every  once  in  a  while  .

exes  ,  all  kinds  of  them  but  mostly  bad  terms  bc  mac  is  the  worst  .

pretty  much  all  the  fwbs  no  strings   attached  things  specially  if  they  come  w/  angst   . 

hype  friends  who  r  always  there  to  have  a  good  time  w  each  other  .

first  love  type  of  thing  ?

skinny  love  that  will  never  work  ?

i  cant  think  of  anything  else  ?  pls  dont  give  up  on  me  tho  n  like  this  thing  or hmu  for plots  bye !!!

#wealthyhq:intro #uhhh this was a lot #im sorry friends