#which is now completely unacceptable to me

[essenteez]

𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑 || yunho

"falling in love with your best friend feels like eighth deadly sin."

"And if you really think that it's an obsession, don't worry." He spoke again, this time his voice was hoarse as he struggled to speak, his thumb and eyes now wandering around your half opened lips. "I'll take all of it."

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬 : You made a tough decision that left you absolutely devastated. Falling in love with your best friend was unacceptable. You got to leave. The method was slowly vanishing from Yunho's life until he would get used to your abstance. Deep down, a voice kept telling you it was the right choice. However, Yunho never meant to let you go as he stood in your door on one rainy spring evening, demanding an explanation.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Yunho × (f)reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : Angst, smut

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : explicit language, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f!receiving), tongue fuck, anal fingering, ass smacking, missionary, deep penetration, pet names

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 : 6k

Is it possible to feel like your decision, at the same time, is the best and the worst? As if you’re attempting to go both ways, feeling like your body is ripping apart.

You asked some of your friends about it, desperate for a helpful answer.

"Depends.'' they always shrugged, which only meant they had the same idea about it as you did. Read as none.

In the beginning, you thought your approach to the problem would be the best solution for both him and yourself. However, the more time had passed, the more it all felt like the most fanciful of tortures.

Nothing had happened between you two, nothing deep enough that you could hold on to. So why, why did you keep failing to convince yourself that everything you went through was for the best. Was it because of guilt that was eating you alive whenever he looked hurt by the distance you had been widening for the past four months? Or because that was a normal reaction after sacrificing something important for a better cause? You were doing that for both of you, especially for him. Your intentions were good. Why wasn't it working?

And now there you were, completely frozen, face to face with him in the late spring evening as he suddenly banged on your door, ten minutes after you ignored his text once more.

You were now staring at the upset man in front of you. Due to shock, you couldn't look away. You allowed his eyes to burn into you.

He was drenched from the pouring rain outside, standing at your door that you should've never opened. His expression and posture reminded you of a wild animal that was about to attack you.

Your hand trembled on the knob as you contemplated slamming the door in his stoic but serious face. All you wanted to do was crawl under your bedsheets to hide for the rest of your miserable life.

You were wrong from the very beginning. You didn't put on any sacrifice. You've been running away like a coward, and at that very moment, you were about to receive your punishment.

"We need to talk, don't you think?" The jaw muscles tensing up under his skin as he almost hissed the words out.

You had to get away from him, as far as possible. Far away, so it was easier for you to breathe again. It was time to dig through the long list of excuses that, to be honest, you were running out of.

"I was actually getting ready to leave for a night out with girls, so can we…"

His index finger pointed in your face, which stopped you from continuing the poor act.

"This is the only chance I'm giving you to explain what's happening, (y/n). If you close this fucking door on me…" he hesitated but the power in his voice didn't weakened, "you'll never see me again."

The breath abruptly left your lungs. You swore your heart stopped for a second just to restart its beating with double the speed. You heard your blood pumping in your veins as the inner panic unleashed from his words that were like a magic spell.

There was no bluff in his words. He didn't mean to scare you, despite him knowing you were vulnerable for empty threats like that. The warning was absolutely backed up. You could see it by the way he stood there before you, how he clenched his fists, the way he looked at you with devouring anger in his brown eyes.

No doubt, you crossed all possible lines. And you had no idea how to handle the consequences. You knew one thing, you'd rather die than never see him again.

"What do you mean?" You still tried, wishfully thinking he spoke about something else.

No answer came your way. He simply passed you by and stormed inside your apartment. You were too scared to protest, not after the eyes he gave you before walking in.

You slowly closed the door, in need of every second to gather all the shreds of courage you had in you. There wasn't much.

Somewhat ready to get eaten alive by the unbearable remorse, you finally turned around. However, he disappeared from your eyes' reach.

"Yunho…"

"You still have some of those spare clothes I left once after a party?" He yelled from what you realized was your bedroom. "I'm totally soaked."

The last thing you cared about now was wet stains on your wooden floor, spreading from the door through the living room up to your bedroom and glistening in the weak lamp light.

You couldn't form a word, every sound was caged in your throat. The anxiety began its biggest harvest inside you. You felt all the strength leaving your body. All you could muster up was standing on your two feet in the middle of your living room, and that alone was impressive in your current state.

You were registering his steps in the other room. Yunho walked into the bathroom to get rid of the wet clothes. He spoke to himself about how nice that the dryer was there. Then he reentered the bedroom and next you heard nothing but his loud sighs.

"Come here." His voice had little volume to it, but the depth of its tone resonated in your ears and echoed in your whole being. The command was crystal clear and sent a set of sharp shivers down your spine.

You let your feet lead you to the doorframe of your room. However, you stopped them there.

He was sitting on your bed, aggressively rubbing the towel on his wet hair. He wore his plain black T–shirt and pair of gray sweatpants you stored in your drawer after he forgot it months ago. He looked like he had just walked out of the shower.

"Do you hate me?" He asked suddenly, still not looking at you. "Maybe I scared you with something I said or did?"

You wanted to refuse, feeling your heart cracking even more, but no sound left your dry mouth.

He, on the other hand, had a lot to say.

"Did I do something wrong, hmm? Cause I've spent three months going back and forth to all our meetings, and I genuinely don't know what that would be." He laughed bitterly, still drying his thick black hair.

You felt like shrinking while the guilt that kept growing towered over you unforgivably. You had seen Yunho angry before but never at you. Why were you so stupid to think it would never reach you after all you had done?

A tint of sadness invaded his chords, "You suddenly started to avoid me, mumble something under your nose instead of answering me, or you have been straight up ignoring me. You don't pick up my calls or respond to my texts and if you do it's always the same shit 'I'm busy, will call you later' which is bullshit cause you never do, (y/n)."

The tears showed up in your eyes, and you bit your lip to stop them from pouring out like a tidal wave.

He noticed it. The hand with a towel dropped on his legs.

"I don't know, did someone tell you we can't be friends or make you feel bad about it?"

Yes. Me. You cried inside your jumbled mind.

"No." You uttered, swallowing your tears.

"Then what?" He urged, aggressively tossing the towel aside after he turned it into a damp ball. Now, all his attention was paid to you, and you felt bare under his eyes.

"I don't know what to tell you." You whispered, the lump in your throat only grew.

"The truth, (y/n)." He begged. "If you don't want to be friends anymore, then fine, I can't force you. But after all this time and memories we've made, I think I deserve to hear a reason behind your decision. Not to mention everything was fine 'till Hongjoong's birthday."

Him, now linking the dots, made you feel as icy needles ruched in your blood, tearing your veins.

Something did happen at your friend's birthday party. One innocent game, alcohol untying people's mouths, and you ended up begging God to help you erase that night from your head.

You thought you kept your composure after drunk Bona spilled her crush on your best friend. This one sentence that she sang toward him smashed the glass of denial and released all the spirits of truth. The realization hit you like thunder, and the effects never left with time.

After that, you slowly, nor drastically, began walking away. Your behavior should not have been seen as related to that party's events.

If it was so clear to Yunho, was it obvious to everybody else?

Although he was right.

What were you thinking? It is Yunho, we're talking about. He would never leave a problem untouched when he saw one. There was nowhere to run and hide now, and it never had been.

You reached your hand to the light switch and let the room get embraced by darkness. There was no option for him to see the shame on your face when you would be telling him the issue that tormented both of you.

He didn't say anything, handing you the mic.

You walked inside the room and slid to the wall, calling on it for support. You were placed in front of him but at a safe but far distance.

"I love you." You confessed, shaking like a leaf. "I don't know what is happening, but I know I want you so much. Every inch of me craves for you, and I lost all control over my own self when it comes to you to the point I can't sleep at night, eat, or think straight. I've never felt like this before, about anyone. And we're best friends. I have no right…" The guilt caged your voice.

The silence on his side was crushing. That was the end. You had nothing to lose.

You took a deep breath, "That's why I've avoided you and purposely ignored you. I have to stay away, Yunho. For both of our sakes."

You heard him taking a few deep breaths.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Somehow, his voice bore the accusation.

"I was scared of rejection." You chuckled at your miserable position. "The girls laughed that I sounded absolutely obsessed when I told them about this. They said they were only joking, but I started wondering and got scared. What if I am? You asked if you scared me with something. You didn't. I'm scared of myself. Because…no one sane acts like that. No one sane falls in love with their friend."

As you finished the confession, you dared to look his way. Your eyes got used to the dark, and you managed to see his darkened features.

The left side of his face was slightly illuminated by the dim light coming from the living room. You were watched intensively as he was eyeing you up.

His upper body was leaned forward, his arms resting on his spread knees. He looked…disappointed? Angry? You couldn't really tell. However, his deep breathing betrayed that the chaos you let out in indeed affected him.

The question was how would he accept what you brought upon him.

"I'm sorry." You breathed out on the edge of crying. You felt awful by ruining your amazing friendship. "Truly."

He submerged his finger in his damp fuzzy hair and then proceeded to wipe his face. He seemed deep in thought. You watched how he stroked his thighs a few times before standing up.

"Yunho…" you gulped, seeing him closing the distance between you.

He was getting dangerously close.

"Please, stop."

The man listened to your command. Still, he halted only half a meter from you. Yunho gave you a second to calm down, let your guard down, therefore you had no time for reaction as his arm suddenly reached out for your hand, grabbing your wrist firmly, and began pulling you close to him.

You quietly whimpered, trying to twist your hand out of his grasp, but there was no use. He mercilessly dragged you until your bodies met.

You couldn't look up, not with all the panic thriving inside you. However, he did not mean to stop. You felt his finger underneath your chin, and suddenly, you found yourself looking in his eyes that shone with a new light in the dark room.

"I would never reject you." He let out a firm but gentle whisper. "What do you think that I came here for? To fight for you."

The bangs of his wet hair tickled your forehead. He stood so close to you like he only ever did in your intrusive thoughts and uncontrolled fantasies. You had no choice but to let his scent of cologne and rain embrace you from all sides.

"And if you really think that it's an obsession, don't worry." He spoke again, this time his voice was hoarse as he struggled to speak, his thumb and eyes now wandering around your half opened lips. "I'll take all of it."

The touch of his lips was more than you imagined. You whimpered into his mouth, at which he responded with a smile. You fought not to push him away from the intensity of your surprise. Everything was happening too fast and not how you had seen it in your head for uncountable times when thinking about the face-off.

Yunho kissed you slowly as if he was giving you time to get used to his touch and his taste. He let go of your wrist, and after gently putting your arm around his neck, he carefully wrapped your waist. His other hand moved from your chin on the side of your head. The embrace tightened.

You couldn't say you just allowed him to pull you close to him. You were like a ragdoll. The rollercoaster of severe emotions took away your will to move. He could’ve done anything he wanted to do to you, placed you anywhere he needed you to be. You were completely frozen.

Yunho was considerate of your state and didn’t want to push you. He broke the kiss and pulled his head back to look at you with a slight smile that showed understanding.

"Do you want me to leave you alone? If you need time and talk about it once you’re ready, I’ll wait." He assured you, the gentleness in his tone making your heart flutter. "I’ll wait as long as you need me to."

"I– I don’t know." You stuttered, no volume to your weak voice. "W– what would you want?:

"Can I be indecently honest?"

You nodded, the hope sparking in your heart.

"I want to stay. I missed you so much. For the past months, whenever we met, I felt like you were light years away despite you standing right beside me. So I want to kiss all your doubts and fears away so we both never feel that way again. I want to hold you close, taste you. I want to relearn my name as you moan it all night long. I want you. I've wanted you for so long." He flooded you with the confession that held much more fire and confidence than yours from a minute ago.

You trembled in his arms, grabbing more onto his shirt at his back as he wiped away a single tear that managed to escape and roll on your redden cheek. It felt like a dream, and you felt the familiar anxiety of the moment you would have to wake up as it happened all the time before.

After all these months of pain from keeping yourself away from the man you've been falling in love with, feeling like he was slipping through your hands with your own help, you were a shadow of a woman. You were a ruin.

"What’s your decision?"

But the will to fix everything that was broken smoldered inside you, and you felt that with the right blow of wind, it would turn into impressive flames.

"Stay."

He quickly groaned at your allowance, and your faces got close again. Both his arms now embraced your waist and back.

"Of all the things I just said, which one do you want me to do the most?" He asked, his lips brushing yours.

"Everything." You breathed out without hesitation. Experiencing the long yearning, you needed to feel everything, from innocence to obscene.

Your lips interlocked again, but this time, nothing tamed you for kissing him back as you had always desired.

With every breath between, the kiss was getting hotter, wetter. Your tongues twirled in a wild dance, teeth hooking on each other's lips. With quiet whimpers and moans, you drove each other crazy.

His damp hair was tangled in your inpatient fingers that massaged the back of his head and neck. He moaned in your lips from the affection. The sweet adlip instantly woke up the aching between your legs.

You felt the wall behind your back again. One of his arms left your waist and was placed above your head.

He broke the kiss, "You really thought that Bona's confession meant anything to me?" He panted, his half closed eyes never leaving your lips.

So he found the answer. He did mention he studied all three months of your random change.

"I didn't know what it meant to you. I was too scared to think about it. It just made me realize my feelings for you, and I feared for our friendship."

"And your solution to save our friendship was to stay away?"

"I'm sorry."

He clenched his jaw, and that alone was enough to double your already crazy heart rate. His eyes were pitch black, his brows frowned.

"It makes me really angry." He groaned. "To think your first thought was that I would reject you. That you asked yourself that tough question and saw no hope. That you went for the wrong answer. As if I ever gave you a reason to doubt."

"I'm sorry."

"It's me who's sorry, (y/n)."

You moaned at the speed he attacked your lips again. He didn't graced them for long with his unsatisfied affection as he moved onto your jaw, then sensitive neck.

You felt how his body pinned you to the wall. With the power he pushed into you, he picked you up. You were gasping for air from the waves of pleasure shaking your body as his hungry mouth kissed, licked, and bit on your skin.

"You always smell so fucking good." He cooed sultry, placing his hands under your ass, forcing you to put your legs onto his hips.

He pushed himself with you in his arm off the wall and began walking you two to your bed.

You were released from his tight embrace and let him push you on the sheets. With aw, you watched him remove his shirt, putting his beautifully shaped torso and abs on display.

"Now's your turn." He snarled.

His hands went down to your cotton, loose shirt, and ripped it apart with one pull. Your bare breasts bounced free. You only now remembered you had no bra on.

"Yunho–"

But he didn't care about your surprise. He just gently laid on your side, supporting his weight on his elbow. His chest rubbed on your right breast in a slow massage that had you wave underneath him.

"Goddamn it, (y/n)."

His hand embraced your neck, giving it a little squeeze. You watched it going down to your chest, between your naked breasts, and then lower on your stomach where his wrist twisted to go south. Now, you had his long fingers getting dangerously close to your throbbing folds.

You grabbed the sheets at the touch of his fingertip.

"Ahh.."

"I'm not the one who's getting soaked tonight." He smirked watching how your wetness spread underneath your leggings as his middle finger circled on your clit.

He wanted more, your loud moans too accompanying your flooding nectar. Two fingers decisively entered your pussy as the thumb worked on your pearl.

"Oh my…" you whined, arching your back.

To make your torture more difficult, he leaned his lips to your ear and began feeding your mind with the obscene.

"You're always so wet when I'm on your mind, kitten? Do your fingers fuck this dripping cunt like mine are now when your all alone?" He whispered, his breaths tickling your neck, "I can assure you, I walk hard all day because of you."

The image of him stroking himself fast, rough while moaning your name was a perfect way to bring you closer to the edge as his fingers now fucked you with a full speed.

"Yes." He grunted, satisfied with your whimpers and trembling pelvis. "Cum for me."

Yunho drank the sweetest sounds of euphoria from your lips. Your cute moans were like ambrosis for his ears. He craved for more, his soul, heart, and ego demanded more.

He sucked on the skin of your neck as his hand massaged the last ounces of orgasm from you.

"I dreamed of this so many times (y/n) – my fingers, all sticky and wet from your juices."

"Yunho…" you begged. "Please."

The yearning for him or his words along with skillful touch; you couldn't tell, but something was making you lose your sanity way too fast.

Yunho smug eyes began reading your needs. He just licked his lips before walking away to let the room bask in light again.

With the cover of the dark, you felt more secure. Now you laid there, feeling like there were hundreds of eyes watching you, even though the only person in the room with you was Yunho, who just nonchalantly stood there; one hand on the light switch, and the other, that just were inside you, on his sticked out tongue.

Unconsciously, you began closing your legs, putting hands over your chest, but he was quick to stop you.

He agility climbed on to you. Now you had his weight pinning you down, his slim pelvis between your thighs and his hands holding your hands about your head.

"Don't you even hide from me again." He warned you, looking you deep in the eyes.

His arm found its way under you, and with one pull, he moved you further up the bed before he raised himself and sat on his hills.

"I forgot to ask before ripping off your shirt," he smiled adorably, "but do you cherish your leggings?"

Knowing what was coming and feeling more than just excited about it, you shook your head.

Your soaked leggings and underwear shared the same fate as your shirt. With no hesitation, Yunho grabbed them in his fingers and ripped them apart.

You felt the cold licking your dripping slit, wishing it was that man's tongue.

"I had to turn the light back on." He grinned while studying your quivering folds. "I had to see it in detail."

His brow raised, and his eyes became absent as if they recalled something, a thought he cherished.

"I'm genuinely unable to count how many nights I imagined your taste." He voiced it. "How would you feel on my tongue. So soft and warm."

You shivered at those words. The way he said it, the way he watched you with almost worship… Yunho finally found himself on the spot he longed to be for many months.

"It's all yours." You whimpered.

He looked in your eyes again, searching for a bluff, but he was visibly relieved to see your genuine, needy expression.

"Put your pretty ass up for me, please."

You did what you were told, getting rid of the shirt, well now its shreds. Arching your back as your upper body stretched on the bed, you stuck your slightly circling butt towards him.

A gasp left your mouth as the smack landed on your plump cheek. It was sudden but more than welcomed.

"Somehow, I've always known you're filthy." He snickered, clearly glad of your reaction.

"There are a lot of things you have not found out about me yet." You uttered, biting your lip with a smile.

You flinched from another hit that left a stingy feeling and added another flood of your juices between your thighs. There was no option to not let the moan escape your chords.

"I can say the same about you." He growled as if you were about to learn something forbidden.

You felt how he grabbed your ripped leggings and slid it off your hips, down to your knees.

The warmth of his tongue almost made you cry. You grabbed the sheet between your teeth. Slow, but firm licks were meant to have you beg in a second. However, your taste was too much for Yunho to play the game of teasing any further.

He spread your cheeks and dived in deeper.

The man put his whole spirit to savor you with the way his tongue lapped on your folds, latched on your quivering core. He fed on your uninhibited wails that Yunho could swear were a balm to his heart that almost got broken today if you had not opened the door.

He now knew you were his, the same way he belonged to you. Completely. Equal in this healthy obsession.

The essence on his lips worked like the best aphrodisiac for his nature. He wanted to have you loud in pleasure, trembling in ecstasy. For a moment, he craved to control all over your being. Just so you could feel loved, desired, and perfect. So you could see yourself through his eyes.

His tongue found its way inside you. It was sudden, unexpected but more than appreciated.

"Ahh, yes." You hissed, the sheet ripping in your fists.

Yunho shifted his position to have better access to you. Your eyes rolled back at the depth he was penetrating you with. Long, skillfully muscle waved and curled within your walls.

His thumb began drawing circles around your upper hole. Gently, hesitant at first, but your appreciation for his tease made him brave enough to go inside.

With his tongue and thumb sunk inside, Yunho was at the finish of shaping a devastating orgasm for you.

Your face twisted with unbearable pleasure. Moans sent his way were full of gratitude and admiration for his mastery. For a few moments this man managed to make you feel like flying, see the stars above.

He abandoned your holes when he felt the last shreds of bliss left you. You fell flat on your bed, trying to bring yourself down on earth.

Yunho took his time to climb up your spine with juicy kisses, at the same time getting rid of his pants and underwear.

"Yunho." You called him between deep breaths to calm yourself down.

"Yes, beautiful?' He planted a kiss on your shoulder.

You touched his arm.

"Claim me."

He froze above you. You only felt his hot breath on the back of your neck. Somehow, it had you alerted.

You slowly turned on your back, still caged between his arms. His eyes were dark, full of unknown, to you, thoughts. Maybe what you needed from him sounded too much of a commitment. You confessed your feelings. You made him aware of your love. Yet…he didn't say anything back. Only that he wanted you.

"Will you?" You asked quietly, too scared to put any volume to not scare him away or worse, make him realize it was a mistake.

Still with this mysterious expression, he laid onto you, skin to skin. Your faces so close, you could see your reflection in his eyes.

"Like my life depends on it." He said into your lips, tone heavy with sweet threat. "In fact, it does."

You interlocked in a kiss that felt like a seal to what just occurred rather than simple affection. He kissed you deeply, desperately, but most of all you sensed a gratitude.

His velvet hardness began grinding on your sensitive spot with subtle yet decisive moves, lubricating his length with your wetness in the process.

You broke the kiss from all the air leaving your lungs. He was hard, hot against your skin, begging to enter you. And your pussy cramped at the pleas, more violently each second.

"Please."

He put his forehead to yours. Took a few deep breaths before he finally said:

"I love you."

Only then he allowed himself to push inside.

The words you had wanted to hear for so long and the soul easing fullness have tears falling from your eyes. He groaned at your tightness that engulfed him and spasmed around him. The warmth and your nectars embraced him whole.

You gasped loudly as he moved further, concurring more inches of your inferior. Yunho was exactly how you imagined him to be. Long and thick, with popping veins that rubbed on your walls. You moaned, whined, and squirmed with every push and pull.

"Can I go faster?" He wiped your tears of joy away.

"Yes." You panted. "You can now."

After a slow pull, he pinned into you with power, having you gasp in sudden pleasure.

He leaned on the side, now nuzzling your ear.

"You're taking me so well. I knew you would." He whispered, and if all your nerves weren't already awakened, now they were.

The pace fastened. He was taking you, fully almost possessive. He went deep, attacking your sweet spot with even but strong hits. The sound you made bordered with sobbing.

He raised up on his knees, now straddling your leg. The other one ended up over his shoulder. Only when he re‐entered you, you realized why he chose such a position. He reached depths you didn't know anyone could.

"Fuck." You cried out.

Yunho fucked you however he felt fit, placing kissing on your inner thighs as he hugged your leg while doing it. He winded and whirled his hips as he thrusted inside your defenseless cunt.

The release was approaching with no mercy.

"I'm so close." You grabbed his muscular thigh with both hands.

"I know, baby. I know." He moaned as your walls' texture rubbed onto him even more now that you were almost orgasming. You cramped around him, sucking his width unforgivably.

"Fill me in, please. I need your cum inside me." You couldn’t help but beg when the speed and force he was obliterating you with was too overwhelming. You had to have him burst inside. It was what you mean by claiming you, owning you.

He cursed loudly and leaned over, shifting his weight on his arms.

"You have no idea what you've just started."

The new position allowed the man to put on even more speed and power, pushing you off the cliff, straight to the void of the most heavenly bliss.

The euphoria embraced you from all sides. A flow of your juices flooded his cock, making it harder, too hard to not to explode.

"Oh fuck, yes." He whined and soon joined you in ecstasy. He pumped inside with low grunts leaving his throat, and you melted over the feeling of hot load, every last drop nourishing every corner of you.

He slid out after a few soothing pushes, followed by his semen. Yunho didn't have to watch this physical proof he claimed you. He knew you all his. He just lowered down and caught your weak frame in a tight, warm embrace.

Both calmed yourselves down by inhaling your scents, so familiar yet so new.

His eyes when he finally landed at you were smiling, all dreamy. You knew what Yunho's happy face looked like, and it was all plastered on his features right now.

You felt like your heart was about to burst out of your chest at the sight. He was happy because of you. You made him this joyful.

"You love me." You slipped. The excitement and emotion didn't allow you to keep quiet.

He kissed you and kept smiling.

"You have no idea."

You didn't hide this time when Yunho watched you as if he learned your details by heart. You wanted him to see the woman and all her love she got for him.

"Come." He said and got off the bed. "We both need a long and hot shower."

"Soaking again?" You giggled lazily, admiring this Adonis of a man that now stood in front of you in all his glory. You bit your lips at the view of his glistening pride, knowing it all was for you to love and pleasure.

Seeing your eyes wandering all over him, Yunho couldn't help but smirk at your bluntness. He then leaned over to kiss your forehead.

"Better get used to it."

You realized how stupid you were to think you could live without his melodic laugh.

#ateez #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez oneshot #ateez fic #ateez yunho #atz yunho #yunho smut #yunho oneshot #yunho imagines #jeong yunho #yunho daddy #ateez 18+

[empressgetou]

A GIFT

husband poseidon x wife goddess reader

posiedon may be called as the most fearsome god or the god of gods or the tyrant of the sea, but all these titles meant nothing when it comes to his wife. y/n would call it as a facade considering that his attitude is the complete opposite of what the gods known him for.

the king of the seas had met his better half way back when he was still a boy. whenever he would visit the library of valhalla he somehow catches her just around the corner reading quietly all alone.

days turned into weeks that turned into months of visiting the library, he never misses her innocent figure by that very corner who seems to be on her own world. then one particular day, she finally approach him making his heart skip a beat by her voice.

"excuse me, lord posiedon. i don't want to interrupt you but i wanted to borrow the book you have got there since i wanted to finish the novel i am currently reading." she asked politely. little did she know, posiedon has taken interest of what the girl has been reading these past few days and have read in advance to finish the book first.

her voice it sounds alluring, as if the sirens were to hypnotize the humans in the ocean. he thought.

he nodded in response and gave the book. well he already finished the novel might as well let her borrow it.

"it is quite a surprise that my lord has taken interest in these types novels?" she then closely leaned into his side.

"would you mind if i seat here beside you? i'd like to know what your thoughts on this right after i read."

"no, but are you comfortable being with me?"

"hmm? why shouldn't i, my lord? as long as you're not feeding me to your piranhas back at atlantis then i dont mind." she innocently giggled as if there were no rumours of the young prince going around. not that she knows about those, the young goddess is too busy to gossip with the other young ones her age.

and with that interaction started their romance. with millions and millions of years have gone by and the gods have been happily married to each other, they are also known to be one of the most powerful couple in valhalla. with the two of them working together nothing seems to stop them. y/n being the goddess of healing and peace and poseidon being the god of the seas and waters sounded terrifying for the humans even for the gods. and with y/n's every step bringing happiness along the way there will always be poseidon following closely to him who keeps other gods or humans especially intimidated which results to y/n scolding him back at their place.

and just like any other day in the kingdom of atlantis, y/n all by herself in their very own library reading peacefully was cut off when a knock was heard.

"i'm home." said by a gentle voice.

"you're back home early, my beloved. did something happened?", y/n replied as she rose from her seat and greeted his husband with a light kiss.

"that half human happened. the gods have agreed to that filthy woman to have a fight between humanity and us gods, a ragnarok." he said full of frustration in his face.

she guided him to seat and ease his anger.

"i'm sure brunhilde has her reasons as to why she had done this, after all she is still a part of their kind."

"what made you upset?"

"i do not wish to participate in their foolish games. i am a god that is nowhere near a humans ability to reach and they dare try and compete with me? that is unacceptable!"

"you could withdraw from it if you don't wish to join them"

"the pantheon has already decided. no matter. i shall win of course those humans will not be in my way."

currently, zeus and adam fighting in the arena with a time of 5 minutes now. y/n seated beside his husband watching from the booth with hermes and other gods. they were informed beforehand that poseidon were to battle after his brother. y/n was anxious, not because of the fight she knew his husband was capable of defeating them, it was actually her secret that she may have been keeping from his husband a little while now. he looked at her and this made poseidon think that his wife was worried about him.

with now adam defeated by zeus, poseidon stood up and y/n following him by the back door.

"i'll be back this won't take long, my love." he said while cupping her face and his voice with no trace of arrogance but rather a soft one.

"i'll cheer you on, husband. and when you are done, there is something i'd like to tell you." this made poseidon curious.

is this why she had been spacing out lately? he thought.

she then kissed him good luck and said her i love you's.

during the battle y/n remained uneasy, kojiro sasaki is indeed a good swordsman with his skills and speed no doubt that he would've defeated a god. but not this god, posiedon managed to be much quicker to attack than sasaki's. and with that it ends as the god of the seas declared winner of the match. making it a score of 3 and the humans 0.

y/n stood up and rushed down into the doors going to the arena meeting his husband on the dimmed alley. posiedon caught by surprise his wife rushing towards him with open arms.

"i was worried about you! i glad it is over now!" she hugged him tight as if the world depends on it.

"i told you i would be back, though it did took me a while to finish." he could hear her quiet sniffles and decided to just walk off to the infirmary still holding her like a baby supporting her back with his right hand and her bottom with his other hand.

as soon as they were inside the room, he seated her beside him while the aids have come to heal the injured god.

"leave us, my wife shall take care of this." declared the god and were left to be alone with his spouse.

y/n did not hesitate and began her healing magic while doing so she could not help whether it is the perfect time to tell his husband of what she have been keeping these days. poseidon knowing his wife like the back of his hand can feel her uneasiness and decided to ask.

"there is something you wanna tell me." that made y/n taken aback a bit. no doubt that his husband would notice much sooner. she is not the type that keeps secrets after all, the goddess is more of an open book to poseidon.

"remember, i have something i'd like to tell you after you have finished your fight?" he nodded urging her to continue.

"i only found out recently and had been trying my best to keeping it for myself." she giggled.

"hera has spoke to me the other day when we were at the pantheon. she told me that eileithyia has informed her that i am with... a child." that made poseidon's world stop.

a child? he thought. they both have been trying for an offspring quiet some time now. he would always watch merfolks back at antlantis with their young ones. with their cute little fins and soft features and loud laughter's, no wonder the king of the seas would want one his own.

he pulled her towards him and hugged her tight depending his massive size into her delicate body. he would've bursted into tears if it weren't for her chuckle.

"i'm guessing you are happy with the news i brought, my love?"

"happy? no, no not just happy, dear. i am thrilled that we are finally able to have a child on our own." he looked deep into her eyes and kissed her passionately.

"thank you. this is the most precious gift that you have given me." he continued while still holding her close to his chest.

"we have been trying my husband, i'm glad that the goddess of labour has bestowed us such gift."

"although you are still horrible at keeping such secrets, i keep noticing you fidgeting from time to time." he smirked making y/n lightly smacking his chest.

"i love you, my dearest. and our child as well." he said with with full adoration while trying to hold his nonexistent baby bump.

"i love you much more, my husband."

masterlist

"now, let's fix that hair of yours hmm? it does not look too good after that swordman cut if off unequally." she laughed when she noticed it, that's because his hair can and only be touched by his wife and no other beings. that is when poseidon realized his hatred with humanity once more.

#ror x reader #record of ragnarok x reader #record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no walkure #shuumatsu no valkyrie #snv poseidon #snv x reader #ror poseidon #poseidon #poseidon x reader #ror poseidon x reader #snv poseidon x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #empresswrites♡

[devildom-moss]

idk how to verbalise this idea properly so bear with me but: mc whose entire logic in life is 'fuck it we ball' including when it comes to romance, so they just completely go along with any attempts at flirting in a sort of "yes, and-" fashion

which probably only encourages said suitor and then mc has the Audacity to be surprised when it gets intense enough for them to realise they're actually being seduced lol

gn mc with just the brothers for now pls!! thank u for your services

Hopefully this request is what you were looking for. Honestly, I had a bit of confusion while writing, but I tried. I went with headcanons because that seemed like the best fit. Thanks for the request.

gn!MC who casually flirts back with the demon brothers headcanons

(and then has the audacity to be surprised that they're being genuinely pursued)

(Suggestive)

Word Count: +2700

Lucifer

Lucifer is an awful flirt, trying so hard to fluster MC and convince them of his dominance. (Where’s it at though? I don’t see it.) His flirting is so suggestive that it’s actually pretty easy to just assume it’s a bit of playful teasing between friends.

For MC, it plays out like those posts that say something and then escalate immediately – something like “Kiss your homies goodnight. Kiss them with tongue. Eat their ass.”

Having an MC who flirts back with him can be a bit embarrassing, and it gets Lucifer’s hopes up so much. (“Could you pour me another cup of coffee, MC?” “Third one this morning, Luci. Not sleeping well?” “I’m afraid not. Perhaps you should come over and help – but then again, we might not get much sleep if you do.” “Aw, Luci, do you want me to fuck you senseless to help you fall asleep?” “If you’re offering, who am I to refuse.”)

He’ll be frustrated that MC keeps flirting with him, but they never follow through.

Lucifer is so horny that it’s absurd. MC could be completely normal, and this man would be thirsting. (“I really don’t want to do this lesson. This chapter is so boring.” “Normally, I wouldn’t use positive reinforcement, but if you complete your work, I’ll reward you.” “What kind of reward?” “Come to my room tonight and find out.”)

Poor MC doesn’t realize they’re being seduced until Lucifer has dragged them into his bed.

“Sleep with me.” “I’m not really tired, Lucifer.” “Good. Then you’ll have plenty of energy to make out and maybe even fuck me – if you want.” His touch would be so intimate – rubbing their inner thigh or groping their ass. “IF I WHAT?!?”

Lucifer would turn pink up to his ears. Part of him thinks MC is just teasing him again, but he would quickly realize that they’re being genuine. He’d feel absolutely humiliated. Did they not want him at all? Did all of that flirting mean nothing?

Before he could die from the shame, Lucifer would manage to blurt out, “Do you want me or not?” He wants some honest commitment in return for his affection, and if MC won’t bring that, that’s unacceptable. Of course, there is some thrill in a chase, but in that moment, Lucifer won’t have it in him. It would be a battle to fight some other day.

If MC tells him no or gives a half-hearted response, he will ask them to leave his room with one hand covering his blushing face. He wouldn’t even be able to look at them as he closed the door – and he’d probably avoid them for a day or two. (Also, he might cry a little after the door is locked).

If MC insists that they do want him, he’ll be especially needy while also acting all sadistic – attempting to tease them to distract from his own embarrassment. This poor loser will require so many kisses to reinflate his ego.

Mammon

To be fair, Mammon would bring this upon himself. He loves to act like he’s uninterested – constantly interrupting his fawning and puppy-like following of MC to save himself from the absolute humiliation of being *gasp* honest about his feelings.

I can see Mammon regularly initiating flirting, but this man can’t follow through to save his own life (maybe to save the life of someone else, though). An MC who reciprocates his flirting would leave him a blushing, flustered mess. Most of the time, his embarrassment cuts the interaction short.

“Ya just can’t get enough of the Great Mammon, can ya?” “Of course not, you handsome devil~” “I- uh! Hmph! Damn right!” he’d say it, crossing his arms and avoiding eye contact while the blush rises in his cheeks. How is MC supposed to respond?

If they tease him further and flirt more, he’ll just yell and tell them to knock it off. If they just shrug it off and move on, Mammon will be too flustered to make another move on them that day. The flirtatious spark just kind of fizzles out like a defective firecracker.

It takes a lot of boldness on Mammon’s end to get MC to realize he’s being serious. And honestly, Mammon is so adorable, MC may have the opportunity to take the initiative and push things a little further first. (You want to tell me most MCs could just flirt with Mammon, reducing him to a blushing, aggressive mess, and go back to watching that movie or playing that video game upon Mammon’s belligerent demand, and not want to kiss his face? Okay, sure.)

But let’s ignore that thought and say MC follows Mammon’s flirting in the “yes, and” fashion. After Mammon continuously sabotages his own chances, eventually, he’s going to get so frustrated that he will smother his own shyness long enough to get what he wants.

He’ll get MC alone and string together some make-shift confession – a plea for more. “Ya know, if ya wanna kiss the Great Mammon or somethin’, I’m not gonna stop ya – like, I mean, I want a little more outta ya. So, don’t hold back just cause ya think I don’t want to or nothin’.” (translation: Please kiss me. I know I act like I don’t want you, but I really, really want you to kiss me. Please, please, please.)

His face will burn, and a blush will work its way up to his ears. It’ll be hard to deny the intensity of his feelings, and it will weigh down on MC – a truth previously held in a bag on their back, tethered to dozens of helium balloons that disguised its weight, and then suddenly found every string cut loose by Mammon’s admission. He really loved them. For his confession, all Mammon would get was a stunned but heartfelt “oh.”

He gets so upset and embarrassed that MC didn’t realize he was being serious before. He went on a rollercoaster of emotions; meanwhile, this whole time, they hadn’t even taken his advances in earnest. It’s practically offensive.

The only remedy for Mammon’s bruised dignity is for MC to immediately hold and kiss him until he’s temporarily satisfied. (“Ya owe me big time for not takin’ me seriously.”)

Leviathan

I mean, he kind of has to flirt before MC can flirt back – unless we’re going to count accidentally blurting out his innermost perverted desires as flirting. Sure, I suppose it’s basically flirting to tell someone “It’s sexy when you tell me what to do. I can’t stop imagining you doing that in other settings.”

He’s so bad at flirting that nothing will happen for a long time after he realizes he’s head over heels. Levi is fine spending the rest of his (or at least MC’s) life pining for them – or at least he believes that. But the longing and desire will start to creep in, and he’ll wonder how much he can ask from MC. Friends can hold hands and maybe even cuddle, right? Maybe even kiss? Could they even –?

The thoughts eat away at him until he can’t wait for MC to make the move anymore. It slips out of him like some mating request written by Dr. Suess: “Would you –? Could you –? With an otaku? A gross, disgusting one, too?”

Levi is so visibly flustered that he doesn’t leave much room for ignorance. Even the most extreme masochist wouldn’t subject themselves to the furiously blushing, trembling state that Leviathan had worked himself into. He’d be on the brink of tears. All his hope in the world would be precariously perched on a ledge, awaiting your response.

I can’t see MC not knowing that Levi was attempting to seduce them, but perhaps the timing of it came as a surprise. Or perhaps they had never taken his affection seriously. He has so many favorites that he can’t pursue; just because he has a massive crush on MC doesn’t mean he had plans to act on it.

He will get even more embarrassed and down on himself to know that MC didn’t take him seriously at first. He understands, but that doesn’t make it any less hurtful.

He will require physical reassurance – as much of it as MC is willing to give him. And honestly, if MC doesn’t end up kissing him until he forgets how to think after his confession, he’ll probably hide in his room for a few weeks purely out of shame.

Satan

With an MC like this, the back-and-forth flirting goes on for an inordinate amount of time. Satan is not a flirt by any definition, but when there’s someone he likes, he knows how to turn on the charm. He’s smart, passionate, and mentally quick on his feet; he’s a natural charmer for the right audience.

Satan moves pretty slow when romance is concerned. If Levi wasn’t such a hopeless cause (affectionately), Satan would probably be the slowest to escalate a romantic relationship. He and MC will have a dozen dates under their belts before the desire for more had become an unbearable burden for Satan to silently ignore.

Eventually, Satan would find himself reading in his room with MC, unable to hold back anymore. He would ask, “Would you mind if I kissed you?” “No, I don’t mind if you want to.” “Could I kiss you now?” “Eh, sure.”

Everything up to that point could have been misread as platonic or some casual interest – maybe even curiosity on his end.

But he was serious, and it was evident in the way he approached MC to collect that kiss. He would straddle their hips, set their book aside (face down to mark the page like a real gentleman), and lean down for the kiss. Then, his lips would move against theirs, and the smallest sigh would escape him like a quiet release of sexual tension that had pressurized his entire body. Then, it would all click for MC.

Surprisingly, he wouldn’t be upset or humiliated if MC hadn’t taken him seriously before. In fact, he sees it as more of a personal failing, and in a low, seductive voice, he would tell them, “Allow me to prove how genuine and deep my feelings are for you.”

Asmodeus

He flirts with everyone, so how was MC supposed to know??

He asks them on dates so often. He’s probably the only one who could make out with MC and they’d still think, “yeah, we’re besties” because when Asmo pulls away with a giggle and a grin, telling them how much fun that was, it doesn’t feel serious.

It would take a moment of angst – either Asmo feeling like MC doesn’t take his advances seriously enough (and they don’t) or MC getting down on themselves – for them to realize.

Asmo would pull them into his room and leave small kisses all over them, peppering in compliments. “You’re so gorgeous, and I adore looking at your face.” Then, he would kiss their cheek. “You’re such a sweetheart.” Then, the other cheek. “I always have so much fun when I’m with you. I don’t ever want you to leave my side.” He would kiss their forehead. “I want you to feel confident; you’re such a wonderful soul.” (He would probably add more compliments if MC was feeling self-conscious.)

His words would get sweeter and more honest. “I feel seen in your eyes – like every part of me is accepted. I don’t have to play it up or try.” He would work his way down their neck with soft pecks to their skin. “I want to share everything beautiful in this world with you.” In part to avoid meeting their gaze. “I want to make you smile with everything I have.” And in part so he could whisper the words into their ear. “I want to help you whenever you need me. I’ll sit right next to you through any pain and hardships you encounter.” No one else had earned the right to hear his praise and affection. “I want to be a comfort for you – someone you can return to like a home.”

Finally, he would face them with a striking affection. “You know I’m in love with you, right? It’s not just lust and fun. You’re everything. You matter the most – after me, of course. It’s me and you and everything else.”

Asmo seduces everyone. That isn’t shocking. But this was more than seduction. It was genuine courtship. He won’t fault MC for being surprised. It caught him off guard too.

Beelzebub

Beel is not super flirty, but he makes it known that he cares through his actions. So, there aren’t many opportunities for MC to “yes, and” flirt back with him.

He asks them out to get food often and brings them snacks, but that doesn’t signal any romantic intentions. Sometimes he might stare at MC affectionately or admit how happy he is to spend time with them, but it’s nowhere near intense.

Sometimes, he asks for something more selfish. It starts small: petting his head, holding his hand, hugging him. None of those register as seduction from Beel for MC, especially compared to the affectionate nature of his twin. In fact, no one would fault MC for thinking these were platonic wants. After all, Beel has been through a lot. Sometimes this sweet, big baby boy just needs physical affection.

Then, he would get a bit bolder with his requests: “Could you feed me?” “Can I feed you?” “Would you hold me?”

As innocent and platonic as Beel may seem, he makes a lot of off-hand remarks that sound a bit perverted. “I bet MC’s lips would taste good.” “I wonder what you taste like.” “MC has nice hands. I bet they would feel good…” These comments could open the door for some flirting from MC, though. “Wanna taste me, Beel?” “Should I give you a massage? Or maybe something more?”

MC flirting with him would make his heart race. Even if MC didn’t follow through with their flirtatious offer, it would encourage Beel to keep pushing his luck.

Finally, he would ask, “Can I kiss you?”

Beel would look so shy and embarrassed, holding his hands awkwardly to his chest, that it would be hard not to take him seriously. The question – and his desire – would be a slight shock. Beel wouldn’t mind that MC was surprised, although he would be disappointed if he was turned down.

If MC takes him up on that offer, they will come to realize that his ravenous hunger showed itself through a kiss, too – as if he had been starving for MC’s touch and affection.

Belphegor

He’s so affectionate and cuddly. In that way, he’s similar to Asmo; it’s pretty hard to tell how serious and intense Belphie’s feelings are. He’s just kind of like that.

It’s common for Belphie to ask to be spoiled with affection – head pats, feeding him, hugging him, sleeping together, going out with him, praising him, holding his hand, being his pillow, etc.

His need for attention doesn’t cover up for how flushed his face gets when MC is the one to give him affection. His neediness doesn’t explain how much he clings to MC or how he blushes and tells them not to stop touching him.

So, actually, he’s less flirty than he is demanding of attention. Going along with his demands only encourages him to vocalize and act on more of his desires. He’d even ask permission to kiss them and to be kissed.

MC probably wouldn’t figure it out until Belphie starts sleepily trying to make out with them.

“Belphie, are you half-asleep?” “What? No. I’m awake. Why?” “That was a really heated kiss.” “Of course it was. Can we keep going?” “I’m sorry, what?”

“Don’t you like me back? We sleep together, go on dates, cuddle, and you even let me kiss your face and neck whenever I please. Don’t you want to go further?”

It hits them. Belphie can read the look of surprise on MC’s face, and it makes him pout. MC really should have known how he felt by then, but he’s confident that his affection is reciprocated before MC even responds.

“Sheesh. You’re really difficult, you know? I’ve had to do a lot of the work here because you’re so dense.” Belphie would straddle MC’s lap and take off his shirt. “I’ll let it go this time, but you better start putting in more effort from now on.”

A/N: Only about 1 hour left to vote in the poll. And we just got to 100 so y'all are getting 2 posts this month. Genuinely, I typed this a/n up, talking about only needing one more vote, checked it again, and the one vote is no longer needed. Good job, y'all. I swear if there are ties...

#requests #anon #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #gn!mc #obey me demon brothers #obey me headcanons #obey me #ask #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

[planete777]

꒰ RED LINES .:. LN4 ꒱

( lando norris x fem!reader )

IN WHICH. y/n finds her fate hidden within two red lines, and fears the demise of her and lando's relationship. [based on this ask]

pt. 2 .:. 'red hearts'!

WARNINGS. pregnant!reader, both her and lando aren't ready so there are discussions about potential abortions, mental break downs (i.e panic attacks, crying, you know the drill), angst, mentions of throwing up (no one does it i promise), attachment issues (like me fr), a little bit of fluff (because im not that evil >:])

NOTE. first non-high!lando fic!! i've never written a pregnancy fic, so like, forgive me if it's bad haha 🥲 i put so much effort into my banner, like i'm so proud of it lmao. anyways, enjoy reading luvs 💗

SIDENOTE. my askbox is open! feel free to send in any high!lando thoughts, scenarios and requests, or any other trope too 🤍

edited to add tag in banner

y/n is almost blinded by it.

two bold, red lines.

she finds it completely comical how she didn't know it sooner, for the ink that runs down the result window is so palpable, it might as well have been written with a permanent marker.

the test taunts and mocks her as she stares at it in complete despair and confusion as she so sure that they had been careful. but now, she lets herself cry over spilt milk because having a baby, on top of mountainous piles of stress that came hand-in-hand with uni, was not a checkbox she would've liked to tick off amidst her status quo.

the bathroom pounds with an deafeningly eerie silence, as she stares, and stares, then blinks as tears flow, then stares again. her ears are swallowed by loud static and her vision fuzzes around the edges, making the test in her hand seem further away than it actually is, and she allows herself to completely fade out.

she feel utterly sick. like she wants to throw up, but the upcoming bile, instead, remains dislodged in her throat and presses immense weight into her chest. it shortens her breaths, she's hyperventilating as if she's been strangled, then panic completely overwhelms her. everything before her zooms in and out like a malfunctioning camera and the pregnancy test clatters to the ground as she digs the heels of her palms into her eyes.

she doesn't remember the last time she had a panic attack this severe, and neither does she know if she'll get over it solus. yearn for a presence beside her devours her brain and she wishes that lando–

lando.

the way her heart seems to squeeze in her chest is almost too animalistic to be normal, and it arrives at the thought of him being unacceptable of the baby. he's barely situated in one place, fuck, he basically travels for a living, and all her mind conjures is how he won't be there when she needs him most. she tries to wish it away, because just thinking about her makes her spiral even more and she knows she cannot survive with a child whose father decides to be absent.

codependency isn't great, that she's thoroughly aware of, but lando's presence brings a wave of comfort braided in the brightness of his smiles and the warmth of his embrace, and it has become her whole lifeline.

yet, the bathroom she's in feels too small and too cold to be anything other than unbearable, and her body feels to weak to remain upright, sliding down to the tiled floor. she sobbing and spluttering so much that lando can hear it from two rooms down, and he rushes into the en suite without a thought in mind.

he crouches down in front of her, hands flush against the skin of her cheeks. he's shaking, fucking terrified out of his wits, and his words are enunciated with a tremble.

"hey, hey, y/n breathe with me," he desperately takes her hands into his, and places it on his own chest, making exaggerated breaths as y/n's start to simmer. it feel like hours stretch by, the air surrounding feels tense with fear and devastation, and by the time she settles, y/n senses nothing but exhaustion.

"what's wrong, love? you're scaring me," lando gently asks, and she struggles to respond, mouth rid of any moisture as if it had been scraped dry. lando takes the initiative to look around in hopes that anything would give him a clue to his girlfriend's break down.

then he freezes.

the white stick lays there, gleaming and glowing like it's fucking sent from heaven, and he feels his heart plummet into the depths of his guts. he knows he can deny it all he wants, but it's undeniable, what he's seeing, yet prays like a grieving mother that what he thinks is not true as his quivering hands reaches for it.

two bold, red lines.

"oh fuck," it punches out of him, every inch of energy disperses like fleeing birds, "you're pregnant?"

it's so small, so timid that he almost doesn't see it, but she nods, and his arms fall like he's been shot and the test leaves his fingers. he swears he's drenched in ice cold water and he remains silent, bound by stunned numbness. his lack of response spurs y/n again, and she begins sobbing, pressing her face into her arms and wiping it furiously. all she thinks is that he doesn't want it, and out of sheer terror, she starts rambling utter shit.

"i can get rid of it, if you want, lando, just please i'm begging you, don't leave me."

he's crying himself now, doesn't know what to feel at the suggestion, but it makes him gag.

"get rid of it if i want to? fucking hell y/n, i'm not a prick like that," he fumbles out, words wet and hardly cohesive, "as long as you want to keep it, i want the baby too."

she looks up at him, eyes so full of hope that he immediately takes her into his arms.

"you sure, lando?" she's still hesitant, burying her head into his chest, and as further reassurance, he kisses her forehead, "as sure as i'll ever be."

#‧₊˚✩彡 planete.writes: ln4 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fic #formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #f1 #f1 fic #f1 imagine #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #formula one

[summerssover]

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐞 ⊹ ִֶָ ❲ 𝘥𝘰𝘮!𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 ❳

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘, in which you’re drunk, sad, and want your man back

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆, dom!chris x fem!reader, asshole!chris x poc!reader

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒, suggestive content, language, alcohol

▐ ❝ 𝟒𝟐’ 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 ❞

𓏲 🎀🎱 𓂃 ✦ 💒

your throat burned after you downed your sixth shot of whatever sugary drink your friend had ordered, and another after that and then another after that one. as all the alcohol worked it’s way through your system it clouded any thought of chris sturniolo out of your mind, all the bad ones at least.

you had just been through a pretty rough break up with your boyfriend of two and a half years, chris and it was doing its big one on you. you haven’t been able to eat, sleep, or get out of bed for what would’ve made two weeks if it wasn’t for nick actually dragging you out of bed and shoving you in the shower so you could go out with him, larry and quen. you’ve never been the type of girl to completely rely and dedicated your life to a man but here you were sitting in the middle of a pitty party, tore the fuck up while listening to larry and nick go on about how much fun yall were going to have tonight.

during the early stage of you guys’ breaking up you realized that you didn’t know what to do with yourself. especially before the events of you breaking up actually took place. it was like you could sense something was off and you couldn’t put your finger on it until it was too late, made you feel useless.

quen focused on showering you with compliments, knowing your confidence was shot down to the literal deepest depths of hell right now all while ignoring the fat ass elephant in the room, chris was also here with another woman a blonde one at that, most likely one of the many girls he lingered with in his dms.

he looked so good in the dim lighting and his dark attire, a little too good for whoever he was with at the moment. you felt pathetic and to make matter worse you couldn’t stop staring at the pair so you probably looked pathetic too.

nick moved his head in front for your vision, “hey, hey let’s get up and dance we look so fucking lame right now”

larry and quen nodded in agreement and nick made it his duty to drag you to the middle of the floor. before you could protest you were stumbling over your own feet as well as strangers near by, uttering a few sorrys here and there.

“i really don’t feel like dancing tonight”, you stutter as you leaned against him for balance. they’ve decided to ignore your bitching as nick attempted to move you hips to the beat while quen took care of your upper body and larry handed you another shot of pink whit.

“well what do you want to do, d’you want to leave?we can”, nick crouched down so you could hear him through the blasting music.

“no i’m not going to make you guys leave just because of me, i just want to sit down and— “stare at your ugly ass ex all night?” quen interrupted with a dramatic eye roll.

“alright not too fucking much now, just come get me when y’all are ready to leave” and with that you walked away and sat back at the reserved table. laying ur head on the chilly wood you thought that your night couldn’t get any worse. you felt extremely uncomfortable in your outfit, your man was laughing in another bitches face, and your were one second away from making a horrible decision.

your thoughts were interrupted by sensing a body you slowly lifted your pounding head to be met with a whore man spreaded out right before your eyes. your heart started to leep out its chest has his blue eyes burn wholes in yours.

“hey”

hey? the last words the two of you exchanged were some of the foulest shit you could think of and he greets you by say ‘hey’, unacceptable.

“hey” you slurred out, definitely wasn’t what you had prepared in your head.

“what are you doing”, he shrugged.

“what do you mean what am i doing, i’m doing what every other bitch in here is doing”, your hostile tone made him laugh and shake his head.

“i mean what are you doing here kid”

you chuckled back at him mockingly, “ trying to get over you”

chris sloughed further into the chair and holding his arms across his chest, “really, and how’s that going for you ma?”

you smiled at the cocky smirk that played along his lips. you just missed his face so much, not nearly as much as his third leg though. “not great”

“aw, i’m sorry about that”

this was his playing field, toying with your emotions, mixing up the little devil and angel on your shoulders, it was a one big game to him. truth be told he was in no better shape than you were he was just way better at masking it. chris was never the type of guy to settle and once he realized that he had unintentionally settled down with you for nearly three years horrified him, to keep himself from fucking up he decided to fuck up even worse. what sense did that make? neither did he know.

“you look like there’s something on your mind”. chris scooted closer to the intoxicated girl and placed a gentle hand dangerously close to your pussy. you moved your hand on top of chris’ to lightly brush it of the unclothed skin.

“where’s the girl”

his nose and eyes squinted up like he always did,“what girl?”

“what, d’you think i’m stupid or something”, you took another sip from your glass after taking a deep breath.

“kinda sound like it”

pettily chuckled for what felt like the hundredth time “yeah, fuck you”

“oh, thought you’d never ask”, chris took this as his green light to have his way that he’s been waiting so patiently for. he’d been watching you ever since you walked in the building.

chris ushered you to a secluded corner next to an atm machine. shoving your back into the wall he instantly attached your lips with hunger in every dive. his hands roamed all along your body until ultimately minding a resting spot on your ass. you moaned into the lustful kiss, not even remembering where your current location was, let alone what you were arguing about not even two minutes ago. chris’ hands resumed rubbing up and down your sides, bunching your top up your waist in the process, as well as your skirt from his knee that started to apply more pressure on the sensitive area.

you broke the kiss to cry out another moan into his neck while you start to winding your clothed clit into his thigh.

“i’m nothing without you baby” you slurred into his neck and once you started there was no stopping you now. “i don’t know what to do without you in my life, i need you chris”

you began to whine a bit louder causing him to shut you up by grabbing your throat and asserting dominance over you. there was a pool of heat in your panties and you wanted nothing more than for him to be inside of you.

“i can’t spend another night alone”, you huffed out of breathe with his large hand still wrapped around your neck.

“neither can i”, chris spoke rasp and angst in his voice before pressing one more kiss onto your lips and slipping the “ex” couple into the single stall restroom.

nick, larry, and quen watched the pair swap spit and dry hump their drunken bodies together with jaws to the floor.

“we left this bitch alone for 5 minutes”, larry exclaimed.

nick shook his head in disbelief, “oh she’s going to beat our assess tomorrow”

quen agreed, “no for sure, we had one job”

₊˚ˑ༄ؘ      ❪  𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚁'𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙴  ❫  ✩₊˚.  ◛ ·˚ ༘ ᝰ

⁀➷┊ ‧₊˚. i think i might like this idk if i want to make another part or not anyways bye lovess🩷

#black writers #chris sturniolo x black reader #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #nathan doe x reader #x black reader #chris sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #summersover #Spotify

[star-anise]

reading supercut: disability, body image, and trauma

A glimpse into the clothes thrashing around in the washing machine of my mind, with apologies that it is still a wet lump and not an actual synthesis of ideas.

From Easy Beauty: A Memoir by Chloé Cooper Jones:

[This event] embedded a damaging idea in me, one I’d recognize deeply when I read Scarry years later: beauty was a matter of particulars aligning correctly. My body put me in a bracketed, undercredited sense of beauty. But if I could get the particulars lined up just right, I could be re-seen, discovered like the palm tree is discovered. To be deserving of the whole range of human desires, I had to be extraordinary in all other aspects. In this new light, I started to see my work, my intellect, my skills, my moments of humor or goodness, not as valuable in themselves, but as ways of easing the impact of my ugliness. If only I could pile up enough good qualities, they could obscure my unacceptable body. [...] accepting the argument that beauty was malleable came, for me, with a cost. The Platonian view rejected me cleanly, but Hume and Scarry left a door ajar and I’ve spent a lifetime trying to contort my form to see if I could pass through it.

From Til We Have Faces: A Myth Retold by CS Lewis:

I now determined that I would go always veiled. I have kept this rule, within doors and without, ever since. It is a sort of treaty made with my ugliness. There had been a time in childhood when I didn't yet know I was ugly. Then there was a time (for in this book I must hide none of my shames or follies) when I believed, as girls do — and as Batta was always telling me — that I could make it more tolerable by this or that done to my clothes or my hair. Now, I chose to be veiled.

From Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy of Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha Linehan:

Inhibited grieving is understandable among borderline patients. People can only stay with a very painful process or experience if they are confident that it will end some day, some time—that they can "work through it," so to speak. It is not uncommon to hear borderline patients say they feel that if they ever do cry, they will never stop Indeed, that is their common experience—the experience of not being able to control or modulate their own emotional experiences. [...] In the face of such helplessness and lack of control, inhibition and avoidance of cues associated with grieving are not only understandable, bur perhaps wise at times. Inhibition, however, has its costs. [...] Volkan (1983) describes an interesting phenomenon, "established pathological mourning", which is similar to the pattern I am describing. In established pathological mourning, the individual wishes to complete mourning, but at the same time persistently attempts to undo the reality of the loss.

From How to Respond to Criticism by Danny Lavery:

Apologize, but don’t really mean it, and plant a seed of secret resentment so deep in your own heart that years later you can’t even remember that you’re the one who nurtured it and made it grow, it seems that much like a native part of you.

From Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed:

[After learning that state child protective services had made a budgetary decision to only intervene with children under 12, to one of the teenagers that regularly shared stories of abuse at home] I told her it was not okay, that it was unacceptable, that it was illegal and that I would call and report this latest, horrible thing. But I did not tell her it would stop. I did not promise that anyone would intervene. I told her it would likely go on and she’d have to survive it. That she’d have to find a way within herself to not only escape the shit, but to transcend it [...] I told her that escaping the shit would be hard, but that if she wanted to not make her mother’s life her destiny, she had to be the one to make it happen. She had to do more than hold on. She had to reach. She had to want it more than she’d ever wanted anything. She had to grab like a drowning girl for every good thing that came her way and she had to swim like fuck away from every bad thing. She had to count the years and let them roll by, to grow up and then run as far as she could in the direction of her best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by her own desire to heal.

From Essays in Aesthetics by Jean-Paul Sartre:

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

From "I Know What You Think of Me" by Tim Kreider:

if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

#mental health tw #trauma tw #child abuse tw #child neglect tw #staranise original #kinda #there's also a lot I've been reading about avoidant personality disorder that DEFINITELY needs a lot more baking #before it's ready to be unleashed onto the public

[dancermk]

HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

#fellow travelers #hawk and tim #hawkins fuller #tim laughlin #hawk and skippy #matt bomer #jonathan bailey #lgbtqia #queer media

[kwallanghae]

twenty two days before we go our separate ways (twenty two days of not falling for you) | yoon jeonghan

content: fluff; angst (because ofc); fake dating; friends to lovers; some joshua x reader; adults who are in their 30s and have jobs;

word count: 20.3k

summary: there’s a special bond between you and jeonghan, and no one was surprised when you announced you were together. to you, it’s a surprise no one realised it wasn’t real.

warnings: language; allusions to sex and suggestive language; (brief) descriptions of vomiting; jealousy and possessiveness;

after a five month hiatus i have returned with a HOLY WHY IS THIS SO LONG fic hope you enjoy :)

also i’ve decided i want to label my fics the same way fob write song titles

D-1

“You have got to be kidding me.”

His eyes widened, then slowly closed in embarrassment. “Look, you’re the only person I could ask…”

“There is no way I’m going to fake date you, Jeonghan!”

In all the years that you had spent knowing Jeonghan, you had never gotten fully used to the shenanigans and plots, half of which you were a pawn in, half were levied against you. Right now, it was easy to say you preferred the latter. Especially given that unlike your mutual friend Soonyoung, he never went too far. Jeonghan had a perfect skill for being outlandish but never unacceptable. Although, this time felt too far. This time felt ridiculous.

“It’s only for three weeks!”

“Twenty two days! Three weeks! Thats three separate, wait no FOUR separate Saturdays I’ll have to spend cozied up to you, pretending to- ugh.”

“Don’t gag.”

“Huoh.”

Gagging was excessive, in all fairness. Jeonghan was a gorgeous man, and the string of broken hearts he carried on his shoulder was evidence enough, which made you so much more suspicious of his words. Why were you the only person available?

“I just need to get this girl off my back at Wonwoo’s wedding, and it has to be believable, because you know that Jun and Seungcheol cannot keep a secret, so if they know then Jiwon will know, and if Jiwon knows then I’m trapped. Cmon, please.”

“Three weeks is so long.” You whined, throwing yourself down on the couch. You had always been one for the dramatics. Perhaps thats what drew you to Jeonghan, why you were good friends.

FRIENDS. Specifically.

“Look it’s not like you wouldn’t get anything out of it!” Jeonghan begged, kneeling in front of you in a desperate attempt to have you look his way. “It would make Joshua so jealous.”

“He would only be jealous if he actually had feelings for me, Han, and we both know he doesn’t.”

“That’s not true, I am so completely sure he has feelings for you, he just doesn’t know it yet.” Jeonghan’s hand was on your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly, as you were reminded of how helpless and pathetic you felt when it came to Joshua. The gorgeous American who never seemed to spare a glance in your direction. Sure, you were all friends, and he obviously cared about you, but only as a friend. It was clear the way he looked at other people, it was a way he had never looked at you. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out, and for the most part you would like to say you were pretty good at spotting when people had feelings for you. 

When you were eleven and there was pesky Seokmin who kept throwing pencils at you when he thought you weren’t looking, it was obvious he had feelings for you, which you quickly shut down because who would want to go out with someone who had to resort to petty violence to get your attention? And Mingyu, who would avoid you like the plague all of year 12 until he could muster up the courage to tell you about his feelings for you, which you had obviously seen coming. You were always one step ahead - you didn’t like being caught off guard. Jeonghan was the only person you felt like you could trust to trick you, if that made sense at all. Even when he was being a menace, you still felt somewhat safe. And that was really working against you at the moment.

“You know,” He spoke with a glint in his eye that you couldn’t have missed, even if you wanted to. Oh, how desperately you wanted to. After being friends for so long, you could read Jeonghan too well. “He’s just broken up with Heejin. I bet we could try to make him jealous? Make him realise his feelings for you?”

You sniffled slightly, burying a laugh at Jeonghan’s cunning expression. “You’re just saying that so I’ll agree to go out with you.”

“Maybe. Is it working?”

You pondered for a moment. When Jihoon got married just a few months prior, you didn’t have anyone to go with, and you felt devastated watching the gorgeous boy hanging off Joshua’s shoulder. Jeonghan was quick to offer to ditch his date for you, but it didn’t make the ache in your chest dull any faster. You didn’t want to relive that, and you definitely didn’t want to seem lonely and desperate - you didn’t miss the concerned glance from Joshua last time. It would be nice to seem more desired, even if it was fake. It’s all about image, right?

“You know if we do this you won’t be able to flirt with anyone at the party.” You reminded him. “We’ll have to keep up the ruse that you’re actually interested in me.”

“Is it too late to take it back?”

“Yah, Jeonghan!”

“Kidding! Who wouldn’t be into you? Well…” He trailed off teasingly, and it’s moments like this where your glare settles in across from him that he feels so lucky to be secure in your friendship. “I wouldn’t dream of ditching you.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” You whispered to your ceiling, and you didn’t miss the grin that spread across Jeonghan’s face. Lucky bastard. “Fine, starting from tomorrow we will be fake dating.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you Y/N!” He grabbed your hands, pulling you up from the sofa to celebrate with him. “I will drive you everywhere, don’t worry, and whenever you don’t feel like cooking I’ll cook for you, and-“

“Woah, slow down, I’ll pass on the food. I’ve seen you in a kitchen.” You hushed your friend, letting him settle. “Besides, if we’re going to do this, we need rules. Everything needs to be out in the open.”

You never liked being caught off guard, and you were going to make sure you weren’t.

You settled back down onto the couch, and Jeonghan disappeared to grab something from out of your fridge before settling against you, cuddling to your side. “So what’s the backstory? People are definitely going to ask how we got together, we should probably get a story established.” 

“Hmm, what about, you watched me kill it at karaoke, and you were so overcome with adoration and horniness that you confessed your undying love for me, and-“

“Absolutely not. I refuse to say any of that.”

“That’s okay, I’ll tell them.”

“No way!” You shoved him playfully, groaning as he elbowed you in retaliation. “Low blow, Han. Let’s try to think of something more realistic. What about you went on a date and it made me jealous, so I confessed?”

“Yeah, except we’ve both dated other people and it’s never caused jealousy before, I don’t think anyone would fall for it.” He told you, and you cursed under your breath because he was right. “What about we got tipsy and made out? And then realised we liked each other?”

“That works, I guess. It’s a little crass but it’ll do.” You nodded at Jeonghan, and grabbed a piece of paper from your coffee table. “Now rules: obviously we can’t tell anyone.”

“No shit.”

“Don’t be rude, we have to write the obvious too.” You rolled your eyes at Jeonghan, jotting down the words escaping your mind onto paper. No one can know this is fake.

“What about once it’s all over? You know, when you’re off being married to Joshua, and I’ve got myself a new sexy partner?” Jeonghan questioned, wiggling his eyebrows and nudging you.

“Ew? Why did I agree to this?”

“Because deep down you love me and my shenanigans.” Jeonghan popped a cherry in his mouth, chewing on it slightly, staining his lips red. You looked in disgust as a sliver of crimson drool slipped down the corner of his mouth. 

“Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down.”

“Didn’t deny it.” He winked. “So can we tell people eventually? Or are we taking this to the grave?”

“Okay, how about this? No one can know this is fake until we’re married to other people. There, that gives us plenty of time.” Jeonghan nodded thoughtfully, and you quickly jotted down the addition. 

“Oh, pass me the pen, I have a good one.”

You let the pen drop out of your hands, pushing it to Jeonghan, who started scribbling something down. You looked over his shoulder, reading out the words…

“…We can’t be cliche and fall in love with each other- are you taking this seriously at all Han?”

He laughed, and you swear he would have spit cherries all over you. You cursed slightly, feeling suddenly very tempted to push him off the bed. “Dickhead.”

“A future junior partner at Kim-Byun Legal Services shouldn’t be using that kind of language, Y/N.” Jeonghan teased, smirking at your frustrated expression.

“Shut it Yoon. And take this seriously! If we fuck up everyone will find out, including Jiwon.”

He shuddered at the mention of her name. “God and she won’t leave me alone. Fine, what other rules do we need?”

“Hmm, we need to post each other on social media. Instagram is a must.” You told him, and to your surprise he hummed in agreement - you really were expecting more of a pushback. Jeonghan never liked tainting his single and available persona, and he was yet to ever post a S/O photo anywhere. “You don’t sound upset?”

“You’re right. It won’t be believable if there’s nothing online, at least on your social media. Besides, the more we commit, the more jealous Joshua will get, and the more Jiwon will realise she needs to back off.”

You nodded, writing it down. “That means we’ll probably have to pose for photos, go on dates and such.”

“Eh, we already hang out loads, we’ll just have to add cheesy captions. Doesn’t sound difficult at all.”

Jeonghan was right. You had spent way too many years being friends with him to ever feel uncomfortable around him, and with that boundaries were out of the window. Half of your outings looked like dates, and this wasn’t even the first time the two of you had used that ambiguity to convince others you or he wasn’t available. It was the first time you were actively deceiving people though. Perhaps that was why you felt on edge. All the other times, you had just let people come to their own conclusions, this time you would be lying. Was that why your heart was beating more? Was that what was causing the sudden discomfort as you laid in Jeonghan’s arms?

“Okay, that’s three rules, do we need anything else? Is there anything we’re forgetting?”

He thought about it for a moment, then brushed it off, letting the thought roll away from his shoulders, while yours stayed tensed and rigid. “We can probably add as we go along. Leave it on your fridge, oh but hide it when you get guests.”

“Well duh.” You rolled your eyes at him, grabbing a cherry out of his bowl. You chewed it softly, and groaned in surprise at the way it burst open. “God these are way too ripe, why are you eating them?”

“They still taste good, and they make me look like a vampire.” He grinned at you, showing off his stained canines (and chin, but you decided not to focus on that). “Just spray me with body glitter and I’ll have hoards of fangirls.”

“You already have hoards of fangirls, and fanboys.” You reminded him, rubbing at the corner of your mouth where cherry juice exploded down.

Jeonghan watched as you missed the trail of juice that had begun to dry on your skin. He smiled, and before you knew it he had licked his thumb, wiping away the red line from your mouth. Your breath hitched as you watched his eyes, trained on you, the part of your cheek right next to your lips, so much so that it felt like that’s all he was looking at. He smiled, drawing his finger back, with a satisfied look on his face. 

“There,” He whispered, barely audible had you not been pressed up against him. “You can get a taste of the Yoon Jeonghan Boyfriend Treatment early.”

“Gross, you got your saliva all over me.” You whined, pushing him away. “I gotta wash my face now.” You ignored his chuckles as you made a beeline for the bathroom, eager to get him off of you, in every sense.

“You better get used to my saliva babe!” He laughed as you walked away from him. Cute.

It’s a strange feeling to ponder on your time with someone, but that’s what you watched yourself do in the hour before you were, technically, officially going out with him. The hour until midnight struck, you were in bed, teeth brushed, pajamas on, and only Jeonghan on your mind.

You’ve spent more of your life with him in it than without him. He was in the year above you at school, but you and him always gravitated to the same napping spot under the bleachers, and from there a comfort was born. Even before that, he was always around, his friends were the older brothers of your friends, and you had known each other by association, which made it easier to grow into an easy friendship come middle school. Half of the times you had suspected someone’s growing crush on you, it was Jeonghan whispering rumours into your ear. He had always looked out for you, and as the two of you aged and grew closer, you looked out for him too, until you two felt most comfortable together, and not with anyone else.

It had never stopped the two of you from dating, of course. He was hot, you were hot, and other people realised it. In your case though, it had been a force driving boyfriends away. They could never quite get used to how close you and Jeonghan were, and you had been accused of cheating or leading them on more times than you could count. Meanwhile, Jeonghan’s flings always came rushing to you on advice and inside intel, seemingly loving your presence - until they realised that he would never put them above you, and suddenly you were the bitter best friend who could never let him date in peace.

And you had friends, mutual friends who in turn formed a large group that you welcomed and blossomed with. But no one could ever come in between you and Jeonghan. The two of you existed in a little bubble, never to be popped or disturbed. You could imagine the delight some of your friends would express once you told them you two were an item, they were always the teasing that you two were secretly dating and hiding it from the world.

But you were an adult now, the two of you had been out of high school and university for several years now, and still you weren’t dating, despite being so close, it drove your friends mad. You knew that you didn’t need to explain it, as long as you and Jeonghan were on the same page. Boyfriends would come and go, but Jeonghan was always your priority. It had always been platonic, but you knew that if nothing else lasted, your friendship with Jeonghan would. He knew it too. 

You turned, groaning into your pillow. How were you going to go to this wedding? Part of the beauty of your relationship with Jeonghan was that it was simple. It had never once felt complicated to you, just because other people didn’t understand it doesn’t mean you didn’t. But not dating for over a decade and suddenly starting to go out? Only to break it off three weeks later? That felt too complicated to explain, or even comprehend. Would people even believe it?

You were so tempted to text Jeonghan to call it off, to find another stunning specimen to hang off his arm and scare away Jiwon. She was all bark, no bite - no matter what hurtful words she had spat at Jeonghan when he tried calling their thing off, she wouldn’t go up and make light of those threats. Ultimately, she was harmless, but terrible at taking hints. Hence why he’s created this dumb plan. It wasn’t too late to back out was it? You grabbed your phone, and it dinged in your hand.

12:01. Shit.

And there it was, a text from your loving boyfriend.

Hannie: Happy first day of dating, baby ;)

No backing out now.

Day 1 - Saturday 3rd November

After the reminder Jeonghan had sent of your month long promise, you had rolled around your bed until you finally nodded off, and then subsequently overslept, which was only made clear as a banging on your door began to wake you.

Jeonghan was here.

The knock (which was always made with the full force of his fists - you swore that one day he was going to break your door down) was nothing other than courtesy. Jeonghan had his own set of keys to your apartment, and he wasn’t shy about using them. You could already hear him fumbling with the keys, and the muttered curses under his breath. You couldn’t wait to make partner and get out of this place and to somewhere with more soundproofing, you were certainly sick of hearing the muffled grunts and moans of your neighbours who had nothing better to do than spend the nights in each other(’s arms). But it did allow you those few seconds of awareness before Jeonghan barged into your home.

The door finally swung open, and there he was in his full glory - your new boyfriend. Even thinking the word in association with Jeonghan gave you a shudder. There was something about thinking of Jeonghan that way that just felt so… alien. It wasn’t like you had never had those wandering thoughts, but that was all they were: visitors who didn’t stay long. Now, the label was here for three weeks, and you were way too tired to comprehend just how long that really was.

“Why aren’t you up? Don’t you remember we’re helping Minghao set up the venue today? We’ve also got to make an all so important announcement, in case you forgot.”

You groaned, smoothing down your bedhead as best you could to be semi presentable. “I know, I just overslept. Struggled to fall asleep last night.”

He looked over at you as you stumbled out of bed, grabbing the coat hanger that had your outfit off your dresser as you walked slowly to the bathroom. “Just give me 20 minutes to get ready.”

“Are you feeling okay Y/N?” He asked carefully, walking closer to you. “It’s not too late to call it off, I don’t want to stress you out, especially with everything going on with work.”

It was certainly a tempting offer, and one you had been considering just the previous night. But looking back at Jeonghan’s concerned expression, you were reminded of why you even agreed in the first place. Yes, you wanted to make Joshua jealous, and that was your main goal, but Jeonghan had never let you down, and you weren’t going to let him down either.

“Don’t worry. Wonwoo’s wedding is on the 24th. Four Saturdays, I can definitely last that long.” You told him, blinking away the puffiness in your eyes. He didn’t seem too convinced, but you knew Jeonghan was too far in it to say anything else. “Twenty minutes, then we’ll go.”

Day 1 (cont.)

You weren’t too sure when it happened, but somewhere along the car ride, Jeonghan’s spare hand had nestled into yours. It felt somewhat romantic. You were no stranger to holding his hand, but it meant something different this time. Of course, something deceptive, but still different.

As the car pulled to the stop, you squeezed his hand comfortingly. 

“Ready?”

You and Jeonghan smiled at each other, and to anyone who could see past the tinted windows, you were putting on your best show even before you walked out of the car. Of course, knowing Seungcheol, he was probably waiting outside the venue, and this sort of attention to detail that Jeonghan had mastered was crucial considering your friends.

“Ready.”

Your hands detached as the two of you got out of the car, only to join once more as Jeonghan rushed to your side, draping his arm across your shoulder and kissing your hand. You were almost shocked by his actions, the ones that felt so loving, until you heard the all too familiar screech of his would be best friend (had that title not been taken by you, long ago).

“Yoon Jeonghan! Did you and Y/N finally confess your love to each other?!” Seungcheol yelled across the parking lot, jogging up to you.

“Showtime.” Jeonghan whispered in your ear, nuzzling his nose against your skin. It was so sickeningly puppy love, you had to hold yourself back and be reminded that this is your life for the next month. “Seungcheol!”

He walked up and hugged his friend, and you followed suit, before settling back at Jeonghan’s side. Seungcheol couldn’t hide his grin, going on and on. “I knew it! For years, you guys said there was nothing there, but I knew it would happen eventually! I told you so, didn’t I Jeonghan? And all you ever said, Y/N and I are just friends, they would never see me that way, but HAH! I was right!”

Seungcheol kept rambling, barely even speaking to you, truthfully it felt more like he was yelling at characters on a screen rather than friends he had known for all his life (at least in Jeonghan’s case - you only got to know Seungcheol as you got closer to Jeonghan).

“Everyone’s going to be so shocked, even more so than when Wonwoo finally proposed.”

You scoffed. “No one was surprised when Wonwoo proposed, we were all surprised he hadn’t proposed sooner.”

“Same sentiment they’ll have with us, I guess.” Jeonghan shrugged, tightening his grip around you. You held your bated breath as you thought about just how close you were to Jeonghan, that if you reached out just a little you could tuck that stray hair that was in front of his face away, you always thought he looked so much nicer when his face wasn’t covered-

“…dating?” Seungcheol’s sentence finally trailed off, and you realised he was waiting for your answer. Shit, you hadn’t paid any attention, and it was clearly evident by your lost expression. “God you two are still in the honeymoon phase, pay attention to me as well, not just your boyfriend.”

Your nose almost curled so instinctively at that word. Boyfriend. It still felt so wrong to use for Jeonghan, and by the way he tensed only ever so slightly beside you, you knew he felt the same. As if you were claiming him, but you knew Jeonghan wouldn’t want that, that’s why he froze. Wasn’t it?

“Come on, let’s go inside, you can tell everyone you’re finally dating!”

You and Jeonghan followed Seungcheol, who chattered away to Jeonghan as you walked in silence. You were always the more quiet of the pair. Not exactly introverted or shy, but picky with your words. You hated the idea of saying something you didn’t mean. Jeonghan was careful too, but it was like he had everything ready before anything else was ever said. Jeonghan was always careful, always clever. 

He had never been the boyfriend type. Everyone knew it. He had flings, some that even lasted months, but never relationships. He went on dates, but only those that ended up in a hookup. The word boyfriend had never been used to describe him, only used as a wish others had hoped he would fulfill. Your friends would always tease, of course, that he could never be a boyfriend to anyone else because he was too busy being a boyfriend for you, but the two of you knew it wasn’t that. No, Jeonghan could never be a boyfriend to anyone because he didn’t want the expectations that came with it. Jeonghan did as he wanted, on his own terms. But a boyfriend has a role to play, and Jeonghan would die before he gave into that. It was always frustrating for him that his friends never seemed to understand that, but now it played right into his plan. And you understood, so did anyone else need to?

As Seungcheol ushered you in, you were surprised to see just how many of your friends were already gathered, moving chairs and dusting the floors, with Minghao set in the centre, directing everyone. Wonwoo and his fiancee were doing their best to cut costs, with Minghao acting as wedding planner, and all their friends chipping in to help out where they could, which of course is how you all ended up setting up a wedding venue inside a dusty old warehouse. Minghao assured them it would look beautiful, if and only if everyone listened carefully to every instruction he gave, without deviation. To say you and Jeonghan were scared of pissing him off was definitely an understatement. 

Eyes snapped to you and Jeonghan at the sound of the door closing, and even more gathered in your direction as Seungcheol started yelling about an announcement.

“Y/N and Jeonghan have something to say!” He yelled across the crowds (well, 30 or so friends), apologising silently to Minghao as he glared at the older boy.

You froze, hiding your head in Jeonghan’s arm as the pressure of being watched suddenly settled into you. He smiled at you, and wagged your hand held in his at everyone. “Y/N and I are dating!”

Everyone erupted into gasps and shouts, but were all effectively shut up by Minghao’s yell. “Get this place clean first, then gossip!”

Jun walked up to you, handing you a mop and reading off instructions Minghao had given him on everything that needed to be done today. “But seriously, I am so happy for you guys. Good luck fielding everyone off though, everyone’s gonna have so many questions.”

You walked over with Jun to where Chan, Yeeun, Sakura, and Seungkwan were all mopping the floors. The youngest pushed you gently, grinning at you. 

“I can’t believe you and Jeonghan are finally dating!” Chan grinned. “Took you guys long enough.”

“I guess it’s been a long time coming.” You hummed, as you started cleaning the floors with them. You looked back to where Jeonghan was, now surrounded by friends who were congratulating him. It filled you with a strange pride to know you were a prize to be congratulated for winning. Of course, they don’t know it’s not real. But the illusion still felt victorious.

“Is everyone here? It’s been ages since we all met up.” 

“Yeah! Oh, everyone but Joshua, he had to cancel last minute.” You felt your shoulders threaten to drop at the news Soonyoung shared. “Of course, the day we’re cleaning away the dust and mould, he can’t make it.”

Sakura hit his shoulder softly. “He would come if he could. There was an emergency at his firm.”

There was no skylight, but you were sure that if there was one, the clouds would have covered the sunlight.

You were only a year younger than Joshua, only a year younger than Jeonghan, but he had already been a junior partner at his firm for three years now, while you were spending every spare hour at your office in a desperate attempt to prove to the asses behind the desks in the floor above yours how much you deserved to be partner. 

You weren’t surprised when Joshua was made partner. He was incredible, a talented lawyer who saw shortcuts and loopholes no one else realised were there. He was so dedicated, and smart, and dreamy, although you were sure that last part wasn’t one of the qualifying traits for partnership. 

Your whole life, you were a step behind him. Most of that was just the fact that he was a year ahead of you: he graduated first, he took his bar exam first, he joined a firm first. Meanwhile you were the sad kid following him from place to place.

It was no secret Joshua cared for you like a younger sibling. Of course, he wasn’t always around, he couldn’t be. He had too much to do, too many places to be. But he cared about you, and always made sure you knew. What was a secret were the feelings you had for him, locked in a cage next to your heart, with a bluebird that sang love songs to fuel your adoration for him. Only Jeonghan knew, and he had been sworn to secrecy. (It didn’t matter that he had been - he could keep a secret easily, and he would have never given away one of yours.)

When you were seventeen, and Joshua left you to go to university, that was the first moment you realised just how much you cared for him. You ended up in the same university, and then later the same law school, and now the same city. The years you shared in law school, cuddled up in sofas trying to decipher notes from lectures, and questioning the sanity of professors formed a budding love, and one that you only realised when he left you once more. You followed him and Jeonghan place to place, in a desperate attempt to have him realise just how you felt, and he never did. You were his Y/N, always around, always there for him, but never an option. And while he dated, you did too, but no one seemed to replace him. All your exes blamed Jeonghan for your failed relationships, when they should have blamed Joshua. 

And now here you were once again, back home from cleaning up Wonwoo’s rented warehouse, once again wishing he had noticed you, wishing that he would finally see you in a different light.

Day 2 - Sunday 4th November

“You have to pose more like you’re my boyfriend.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know! But you’re not very good at this.”

Jeonghan groaned, shoving your phone away from his face like a disgraced celebrity. The two of you had met out for coffee and, in your case, highlighting case notes and writing out forms, while Jeonghan edited scripts. You always thought Jeonghan should have gone into law like you and Joshua, he certainly had the intelligence for it, but he didn’t particularly have a drive to become a lawyer, and in his eyes it was too much work if he wasn’t motivated. Times like this convince you that perhaps he was correct. 

Except now that the two of you were dating, there was also the task of creating the evidence necessary to post your relationship, and it was tedious and confusing having to show the difference between you as friends and you dating when nothing has changed. 

“We might as well just post a photo of you or I in lingerie if you want to make it look more like a real relationship.” Jeonghan said teasingly, although you didn’t miss the hint of frustration in the growl of his voice. 

“Gross.”

“Let me see the photos you’ve taken at least.” You handed your phone to Jeonghan, moving your attention back to the case in front of you. Malcom Optics vs. Kim and Hogan. You wanted to tear your eyes out. “These are boyfriend-y enough!”

“They look like all the other photos I have of you!”

“Everyone else was convinced we were dating beforehand, that’s definitely relationship kindling.”

You reached our for your phone from his hands, grabbing a highlighter. “It’s not enough. Apparently, something has changed.”

“Fine then. Kiss me.”

You dropped your highlighter, and it clacked to the floor.

“Excuse me?”

“You wanted to show that something has changed, what do people in relationships do? They kiss.” Jeonghan explained nonchalantly, leaning down to grab your highlighter. “We can post a kissing photo, you’re right, it’s more believable this way.”

“B-But…”

“It’s not like we’ve never kissed before, anyway.”

He was right, and you cringed at the memory of being drunk with Jeonghan. The two of you had spent a couple of nights in university drinking your problems away on the floor of your dorm when your roommate was away (and considering the sheer number of parties she spent her time at, you and Jeonghan had a semi frequent tradition), and one such night after an emotional day of being accused of cheating, you ended up making out with an equally wasted Jeonghan, only for the two of you to wake up with an insurmountable feeling of dread and regret. The two of you had always known whatever relationship between the two of you was platonic, but that night destroyed any sort of wondering. There was no way you had feelings for him if it resulted in that awful dread. And it made you so nervous to experience it once more.

“Y/N?”

“Fine.”

You got up from the desk to sit on Jeonghan’s lap. The seats at this coffee shop were comfortable, but not enough for two people to sit together. Jeonghan felt himself tense up as you settled into his lap. It had been way too long since the two of you kissed, and a strange feeling settled in his stomach.

“Ready?” You asked him, moving your phone into position.

“Guess I have to be.”

Jeonghan placed his hand so his thumb nestled just in front of your ear, holding the back of your neck securely, and closed his eyes as he kissed you, waiting for the click of your phone camera, which came quickly. You quickly pulled away to look at the results, ignoring the way your stomach dropped. It meant nothing. But why was it lingering?

“This actually looks good. We look like we could actually be dating here.”

You hummed in satisfaction, moving back to your desk to focus once more on this case, and you hoped Jeonghan missed the coy smile on your lips. 

He was too busy thinking about how his own felt.

Day 7 - Friday 9th November

“Sofia is hosting a party, we’re going once you’re free from work.” Jeonghan’s voice was gravelly over the phone, and the reception in your office was so bad, you were barely getting every other word.

“Who’s Sofia again?” You asked, hardly paying attention to the question. Instead, your attention was trained on the office door on the other side of your office, where your coworker, Eunwoo, resided. You just watched as two senior partners had stepped in, and it had been now 26 minutes since the door closed. Were they going to promote him over you? Or perhaps he was getting fired? You had seen him grab one too many pens from the office storage room, he could have been selling them to make a bit of side money. Probably not. But could he?

“Vernon’s sister, try to keep up.”

“Right yeah, sister.”

“Who’s sister?”

“Umm…”

Jeonghan sighed on the phone, and you winced at his tone. “You’re working too hard. Or overthinking. One of the two. Either way, you need this party.”

“I’ve got so much work to do, Hannie.” You told him, taking note of the time. There were two shadows by the base of Eunwoo’s door. Someone’s feet? Was the meeting over yet?

“But it’s a Friday! You can work on the weekend. I’ll drive you, and I’ll stay sober so I can take you home. Besides, Joshua is going to be there.”

You perked up at the sound of his name. “Really? He’s actually coming?”

“Yeah, he called me earlier to make sure you and I were coming, and I told him you were. You don’t wanna flake on him, do you?”

You sighed. Your resolve was always diminished when Joshua was involved. 

“Fine.” You smiled, imagining Jeonghan celebrating on the other side of the line. “I have to stay back late though, can you bring me a change of clothes? Something comfy though.”

“Got it, I’ll bring dinner and your sexiest ensemble. Bye!”

“Wait-“

Day 7 (cont.)

Just like he promised, at 7:43, Jeonghan showed up at your office door, with your clothes (which were a lot tighter than you would have liked) in a bag and a pizza box in the other. He settled on the other side of your desk as you finished up, and listened as you bitched about the meeting Eunwoo had which lasted a whole 34 minutes, which is insane for what looked like an unscheduled meeting, and were they really going to pick Eunwoo over you? I mean he’s a good lawyer but the pens!

Eventually he managed to get you to stop talking and follow him to his car before driving you over to Sofia’s new place. She had just moved, to a much more relaxed neighbourhood, hence the big party. While you and your friends were close to or had just reached their 30s, with you being on the cusp at 29 (Jeonghan is old and is already in the decade ahead of you, a fact you have mentioned to him several times), Sofia was still in her early 20s, and that was definitely reflected in the party she had set up (with the help of Vernon, who was perpetually stuck at 16). Music was blaring from the house, and you silently cursed Jeonghan for dragging you out. You knew exactly how this party was going to end - with you drunk, having embarrassed yourself in at least three different ways, and passed out somewhere to nurse a major hangover in the morning. At least this time Jeonghan would stay sober, true to his word, and could take care of you. Hopefully that comes with making sure you don’t embarrass yourself, but you wouldn’t bet on it.

You instinctively reached for his hand as Jeonghan led you to the house, and you were reminded of your job. This was a big party, your friends would be there, you had to play the role you were given. Beside you, Jeonghan was reminded of the same fact.

You almost forgot everything as you approached the front door, and saw him waiting for you. Joshua waved you over, and you felt the air knocked out of you as you and Jeonghan walked up and he engulfed you two in his arms.

“I heard you guys finally started going out! Took you long enough to ask them out, Jeonghan.” Joshua’s voice was honey mellow and so soothing, you were sure just like honey it was antibacterial. You hadn’t even entered the house, and you already felt drunk on his touch. Yet your heart seemed to drop at the fact that Josh didn’t seem at all jealous or upset at this development. That’s probably a good thing? But it definitely wasn’t the outcome you wanted.

“We should get Y/N to the kitchen, I’m sure they want something to get their mind off of work.” Jeonghan told Joshua, who let you slip out of his arms as he led the two of you inside the house.

“Tough week Y/N?” Joshua asked delicately, placing his hand on your shoulder, and every worry you had seemed to drain away, only for the reminder of Eunwoo’s closed door to come right back.

“Just feel like I’m putting in effort that will never be recognised.” You grumbled, and leaned closer into Jeonghan’s side. Joshua’s sweet gaze reminded you of your goal: you wanted so desperately for him to be jealous, so you nuzzled your forehead against Jeonghan’s bicep. “Luckily I’ve had my boyfriend here to make everything better.”

You don’t think you could ever get used to that word, and evidently neither could Jeonghan, who felt as though he was choking on air. You felt the vibrations of his discomfort, but Joshua didn’t seem to notice. 

“Ahh, young love. Or, I suppose newfound love. I really am surprised you two didn’t start dating earlier.” Seungcheol’s voice suddenly permeated the air, and you watched as he settled next to Joshua, facing you and Jeonghan with a friendly gaze. “You drinking tonight, Jeonghan?”

“Designated driver.” He told him, running his thumb up and down your arm. Jeonghan didn’t miss the way Joshua looked at that small action, and he felt a glimmer of pride under his skin. “I think Y/N will want a drink though?”

“Oh god yes, Seungcheol, will you mix me something? Put those bartender days to use.” You hooked your arm around Seungcheol’s and let him guide you to the drink station (Sofia’s kitchen island which had a cupboard fully stocked with alcohol and mixers).

“Wow, you and Y/N.” Joshua smiled, and Jeonghan grinned coyly at his friend. “Why’d you finally ask them out?”

He stole a glance to you and Seungcheol. You didn’t notice his gaze, and why would you? You were too far away. But you seemed so in your world, like you always had been, something Jeonghan found endearing.

“Just realised I wanted more. Didn’t want to lose them to someone else.”

“As if you would ever lose Y/N, you two are stuck together. Honestly, I was a little jealous of it growing up, they would always pick you over me, guess this is another case of that.” Jeonghan hadn’t realised until now how Joshua’s skin was tinted pink, the blush of alcohol settling over his cheekbones. Was that why he was rambling like this? “But then I realised I had to find my own Y/N, make my own soulmate. Anyway, I’m glad you finally asked them out!”

Joshua stumbled back towards the drink station where you and Seungcheol were waiting for him. Yeah, Jeonghan wasn’t too sure he would be able to make Joshua jealous. But he owed it to you to try anyway. You weren’t always as aware as you wanted to think you were, but Jeonghan was, and he was acutely aware of the way you froze and smiled as Joshua approached you.

Over a decade had passed since you were seventeen, and you were still completely whipped for Joshua Hong. 

Jeonghan knew this, he went into this knowing it, but why did it feel different now?

Day 7 (cont.)

Two hours in and you were officially drunk. It didn’t take much - you were out of practise from your days of drinking through the night as an undergrad, and too often your nights our were at charity functions and galas where you had to stay on the safe side of tipsy, and not let loose like you were currently doing. 

You had lost Jeonghan a while ago, instead having spent most of the night with Joshua, catching up and taking shots together. He’d been having a stressful time at his own firm, and was happy to accompany you as you drank your worries about Eunwoo and making partner away.

“It’s just so stupid, cause Eunwoo is my age! He’s not more qualified than me, and he’s definitely not a better lawyer than me, cause he steals pens!”

“You mentioned the pens!”

“It’s important!”

You felt a tear roll down your cheek as you drunkenly recalled the events of the day, and before it several more followed. Joshua didn’t notice, you made no sound, but the stress of being at the office for 53 hours this past week only to get no recognition became so overwhelming so quickly, too quickly for your drunken self to register.

“Josh, did you make Y/N cry?”

You barely registered that Jeonghan had walked up to you until you heard his voice, the voice you had been missing for the whole party. 

“H-Hannie…” You choked out in sobs, reaching your arms out for him. He obliged, pulling you close to him, letting you cry into his torso.

“Y/N, you’re crying?” Joshua questioned, but you could barely hear him, your face pressed against the fabric of Jeonghan’s shirt. It wasn’t a comfortable position, to cry sitting down into someone’s chest, but right now you weren’t thinking about that. 

“Hannie w-where did you g-go, I miss- I missed you.” You sobbed, barely sounding out the words. “St-stupid Eunwoo and h-his stupid pens.”

Jeonghan cooed, running his hand through your hair soothingly. “Maybe we should go home? You need to get to bed. Josh, I’ll see you tomorrow? Say goodnight to Seungcheol for me.”

Jeonghan grasped your hand, pulling you up, and guided you out of the house to the car. 

“Why are we l-leaving?”

“You’re way too drunk. Besides, we’re helping set up Wonwoo’s venue tomorrow, better get some sleep.” Jeonghan reminded you, tucking you into the passenger’s seat and clipping the seat belt around you. You hummed, shuffling until you felt comfy, and curled up as close as you could. Your eyes fluttered closed as the car started, and soon you felt yourself dozing off, the salty tears slipping past your lips.

“You’re such a good boyfriend, Hannie.”

Had you not been so drunk, maybe you wouldn’t have said it so easily. Maybe he would have felt more uneasy about the term. He hadn’t even noticed it until you were well and truly passed out, gone to the world.

Day 8 - Saturday 10th November

The streaming sunlight that peeked through your blinds was enough to awaken the deep nausea within you, yet the banging in your head begged you to stay in bed. This was such a gross hangover, and one you hadn’t had to deal with in years. 

Who let you drink this much?

With as much strength as you could muster, you stumbled to the bathroom, luckily you had an ensuite, and felt the contents of your stomach escape up and out through your throat into the toilet bowl. The base of your throat burned, and so did your eyes, as more tears threatened to escape over the fiery sensation. You stayed there, waiting for another wave of nausea, when you felt Jeonghan’s hands push back the hair from your face, and rub your back soothingly. 

“Why did I drink so much…” You whispered, your voice hoarse and sore.

“You’re just too out of practise, Y/N.” Jeonghan told you, pulling you up slowly. “You need to spend more nights drinking with me and not at the office.”

He handed you a glass of water, which you greedily took from his hands, gulping it down as fast as you could without suffocating, until you went to fast and started coughing it all up. 

“God you’re a mess when you’re hungover.”

“Thanks, Jeonghan.”

He grabbed the box of panadol in your bottom cupboard drawer, handing it to you. God, he was far too familiar with your apartment, although you were fairly familiar with his. Well, actually not quite as familiar, because he still has a roommate (and according to Jeonghan, they are necessary for the nicer apartment he lives in on his salary, even though you’ve told him is useless since he spends most of his time here) that you never wanted to bother.

“We have to be at Wonwoo’s venue in three hours, you think that’s enough time to get ready?” You nodded, swallowing the pills quickly. 

“That should be enough time for the panadol to kick in.”

“Good, because I’m only being this nice to you until then.”

You frowned mockingly. “Don’t you have to be the sweet and caring boyfriend?” You cringed at the way that word sounded as it came out of your mouth, and watched as Jeonghan did too. “God, I don’t think twenty days is enough time to get used to that.”

“I don’t think a lifetime is enough time.” Jeonghan let himself out of the bathroom, leaving you alone on the tiled floor. “Take a shower, then come and get some food!” He yelled, and you closed the door behind you, terrified of whatever horror he had cooked up (and you used the term cooked very loosely here).

Day 8 (cont.)

It had become a tradition for you to start holding hands with Jeonghan when he would drive you. Somewhere along the car ride, his hand met yours, and they joined, not a word to be said. You didn’t think about it. You wondered if he did.

The venue wasn’t too dissimilar to last week, but it was way cleaner. Once again, you and Jeonghan were separated, sent to do different jobs under the watchful eye of Minghao (and his faithful minions Jun and Jihoon). 

“Do you think he gets stressed out or is he just like that?” Sakura whispered to you. She was friends with Wonwoo’s fiance, and wasn’t all too familiar with Wonwoo’s friends. You felt for her, most of the people here were on his side, and you were one of the only people Sakura knew here, having met previously in university. 

“Both? He is a little bit like that, but Wonwoo is a close friend, I think he just wants everything to go well.” You told her in hushed breath. “We all want it to go well. Wonwoo is such a good guy, so is Eliza.”

“I know!” Sakura gushed, a little loud but not enough to catch the attention of Minghao. “They’re so cute together, I was so excited when she told me she finally got engaged.”

You smiled, making marks with electrical tape at each measure for Seungcheol to place chairs at later on. 

“What about you though? Are you going to get engaged any time soon?”

You gulped, feeling awkward under the heat of her questioning gaze. “Jeonghan and I have only started dating, marriage is so out of the picture right now.”

“Don’t be modest! Chan told me you and Jeonghan have basically been together since high school.”

“That’s an exaggeration.” You told her, not meeting her eyes. It felt so strange, so deceitful, to keep up this lie. Were you a bad person for this? It was harmless, just a little lie to keep Jeonghan from Jiwon, but it followed you everywhere.

“We were just friends back then.” We’re just friends now. “We’ve just always been close.”

“Uh huh, and did you have feelings for him all this time?”

Wrong guy.

“I’ve always loved him.” You told Sakura, and she began to giggle once more.

That one wasn’t a lie. You have loved Jeonghan for a very long time. It’s just always been a platonic, simple love. You wondered if it still was, and then you wondered why it wouldn’t be.

But it was clear that no matter what it is, it was no longer simple.

Day 11 - Tuesday 13th November

“Hello?”

“Y/N! It’s Wonwoo.”

“Oh, hey Wonwoo! What’s up?”

“Nothing, nothing! Look, I know I haven’t been hanging out much-“

“Stop, don’t apologise! You’ve been planning a wedding, and we’re all so excited for it!”

“You’re too sweet, Y/N. Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you and Jeonghan!”

“Oh, you heard?”

“Can’t stop hearing about it. Mingyu was being a little pissy when he found out, kept saying this must have been why you didn’t like him back in year 12, instead of the fact that he face planted into a pool in front of the entire year group two days before he confessed to you.”

“I forgot about that!”

“Don’t worry, I put him in his place.”

“Ahh, thank you Wonwoo.”

“Of course. How did it go, by the way? Who asked who out?”

“Oh, I don’t wanna waste your time…”

“No no! Eliza wants to know too, go on.”

“Ahh, well, we were just hanging out one night and… one thing led to another…”

“My god did you fuck him on your leather couch because that poor piece of furniture has seen more than enough-“

“No! No, we made out, jesus Wonwoo.”

“Sorry, sorry, go on.”

“Wait what do you mean seen more than enough?”

“Okay you didn’t hear this from me but you should ask Soonyoung what he got up to that week two years ago when he was house sitting for you.”

“Oh god oh god...”

“Anyway the story?”

“I’m burning that couch.”

“Moving on.”

“Right, well we realised we both had feelings for each other, so we just decided to go for it.”

“That’s so cute! That reminds me of when we were all in uni, I got this call from Jeonghan in the middle of the night-“

“Sorry Wonwoo, the doorbell’s just rung, that’ll be Jeonghan. Do you wanna say hi?”

“Nah, I should get back to wedding planning. Have a good night Y/N!”

“Night Wonwoo.”

You hung up the phone as your door opened, Jeonghan’s figure standing in the doorway.

“I got kebabs!”

You ran up to rip the food out of his hands. “God I love you.”

He grinned smugly. “I know. Let’s eat!”

“Don’t sit there!”

Day 12 - Wednesday 14th November

cheolie_cherries: you guys are sickeningly cute 🤮 🤮 sunshineseok: about time you started dating! julijuli33: oh my god he’s actually taken 😭 good for y/n but we lost today wonworld: congrats guys!!

You couldn’t help but smile at the comments on Jeonghan’s instagram post of the two of you. There was a sneaky one he had taken of you working (which you had called and immediately asked him to take down, and of course he refused), as well as the kiss photo, to really prove the two of you were dating. Looking at it now sent flutters to your stomach. You had never seen yourself like this. Sure, you had dated, but it never really got all that serious, and you weren’t one for PDA, so photos like this were rare. That was probably what was causing this feeling. Right?

“Earth to Y/N.”

You snapped your head up to see Eunchae, your newest paralegal, at the doorway between your office and the hallway, grinning at you with a stack of files in her hand. She walked in, placing them on your desk.

“These need to be checked for errors.” She told you, and you waved her off.

“Got it. Anything else I can help you with?”

“Hmm, you could tell me what it is that’s on your phone making you look so giddy?”

“Nothing!” You quickly yelled, cringing at the volume your voice was raised to. “It was nothing, just having a good morning.”

“Mmm, sure…” She smiled knowingly at you, before walking away, closing the door softly behind her. When you heard the click of the door, you groaned, letting your body fall against the desk. That was too close.

Why were you even ogling? You had work to do, and you would be damned if you spent too long staring at your phone and it cost you the promotion. 

They were announcing the newest junior partner next Friday, making the decision at the end of this week. You had to win. So you turned your phone onto silent and placed it face down on the furthest corner of your desk, burying your head into the paralegal’s work. No matter how much it beckoned you back, you would not lose.

Day 15 - Saturday 17th November

When you and Jeonghan stepped into Wonwoo’s venue the Saturday before the wedding, you were practically expecting a fairytale, and that’s almost what you saw. Minghao had dedicated so much time, you knew Eliza and Wonwoo would be so shocked when they finally saw the finished product.

Still, there was much to be done, and with less and less time, everyone was rushing even more to get as much as they could done. This time, you and Sakura were stringing up fairy lights across the pews for the optimal mood lighting, as Minghao called it, and a fire hazard as Jihoon called it (so they compromised to have it on the ceiling above the pews, meaning you had to stand on a 3 decade old ladder while Sakura tried her best to guarantee it didn’t collapse).

You slowly got down from the stairs, guided down by Sakura, when you saw Joshua waiting for you, and you felt your heart beat out of your chest.

“Hey Y/N, can I borrow you for a sec?” He asked, his deep brown eyes looked through you, as if they knew all your secrets.

“Yeah, I mean, Sakura do you…?”

“No, go ahead, I need a break anyway.”

Joshua offered you his arm, to which you took, and he led you to the corridor, secluded, hidden from prying eyes.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” You asked, waiting for Joshua as he glanced away from your view.

“Look, I really am happy for you, I promise,” He began, and you recoiled slightly, holding your elbows. What was he going to say? “But I’m questioning Jeonghan.”

“Like, as a person?”

“No, as a boyfriend.” The word dripped with malice from Joshua’s lips. “Look, I know you’ve only just started going out, but he went out with a lot of people before you,”

“So did I.”

“Yeah but that’s not the point, Y/N. I’m just saying, he’s putting on this whole show of being a good boyfriend, and being faithful and kind, but he never has been before.” You stood there silently, rocking slightly, but it didn’t seem to stop Joshua. “He’s known you practically all his life, he could have had you at any point, why now? And why is he suddenly acting so different compared to his past relationships?”

Joshua put a hand on your arm gently. “I’m not trying to hurt you, but if I were you, I’d be more suspicious of his motives.” He began rubbing circles into your forearm. “I love you, I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“What about Jeonghan? Don’t you care if he gets hurt?” You asked, your voice barely a whisper.

“He’s not the one I’m most worried about.”

You stepped back, and Joshua’s hand quickly dropped from your arm. “I need to go.”

You turned away, and walked back to the venue before he could say anything.

“Just think about what I said, Y/N!” Joshua yelled behind you, but that was the last thing you wanted to do. 

Day 15 (cont.)

You were quiet the rest of the day, feeling more drained from that interaction than the intense physical labour Minghao was making you do (maybe it was the combination of both that killed you). You don’t think anyone noticed, aside from Sakura, who realised you weren’t talking but didn’t say much, but you were terrified of someone else realising, so when Jeonghan approached you with his car keys in his hand you didn’t hesitate to drag him out to the car park before anyone else could follow.

The two of you had been on the road for ten minutes in silence before Jeonghan finally broke it. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Who said anything’s wrong?” You did your best to speak nonchalantly, but Jeonghan didn’t miss the quiver in your voice.

“I’m not an idiot, I can tell when you’re upset.” You were still five minutes from your apartment, you couldn’t dance around it for that long. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Joshua pulled me to the side, asked me if we could talk, and then he told me I should be suspicious of you and your motives.” You admitted, looking out the passenger window. You felt choked up. How could he think like this?

“That’s what you’re worried about, Y/N?” Jeonghan questioned, a slight smile on his lips.

“You’re not?”

“Josh has been super stressed at his firm right? It’s cause one of the senior partners was caught embezzling. That, and he’s the only one of us going to Wonwoo’s wedding without a date.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course he’s going to act weirdly.” He brushed off your concerns with such an ease you forgot why they upset you in the first place. “Don’t take it to heart, I’m sure he’ll get back to normal soon.”

You breathed out a shaky sigh, feeling your doubts subside and settle. 

“It’s cute you were so upset though.” He teased, and you groaned, cupping your face with your hands. “You were so worried about what people thought about me, about your boyfriend.”

“Shut up, Yoon.”

“How can I? My partner cares about me too much.”

“I regret everything.”

He chuckled, stopping his remarks as he watched you calm out the corner of his eye. A secondary realisation as to why Joshua was acting like this was on the front of his mind, but it was nowhere near as comforting. No, this thought was one that was now threatening, and could result in losing you forever. 

Jeonghan didn’t want to think about the implications of Joshua being jealous. Instead, he focused on you, and the way you stared out the passenger window.

Day 15 (cont.)

“Have you still got that 12-pack at the back of your fridge?”

“Go nuts.” You told him, kicking your shoes off and lying down on the carpet on the floor. You and Jeonghan had made a mutual decision to pretend the couch wasn’t there until after Wonwoo’s wedding, then you could go shopping for a new one, and until then there was always the floor. “I haven’t been drinking much, trying to just get through this wedding and the promotion.”

“How’s that going?” Jeonghan asked, and you heard the faint pop of a bottle opener from your kitchen.

“They said they would make their decision on who would be the next junior partner by the end of the week, and make the announcement the next week. It’s Saturday now, and I haven’t heard anything, so I know what that means.”

Jeonghan settled next to you, handing you an opened beer bottle and clinking it against his own before taking a swig. “Don’t be too worried, maybe they’ll tell you you’re getting the promotion on Monday.”

“Maybe.”

“You give your everything to that firm. They’d be stupid to not want you as partner.”

“They would be stupid! How’s your boss?”

The two of you spent your evening reminiscing and complaining (two of your favourite pastimes) as you drank more and more, getting gradually more drunk, unlike on the night of Sofia’s party where you got embarrassingly shitfaced way too quickly. At some point in the night, you had cozied up to Jeonghan, and now you were nuzzled up in his arms, too comfortable to even consider moving. 

“God, this whole thing is so stupid!” You yelled, throwing your pillow across the room with as much force as you could gather, sending it a few feet ahead of you. “We gotta fake date to get people off your back and onto mine, meanwhile Joshua’s not gotten jealous once and we haven’t even seen Jiwon!”

“Don’t say her name three times, or she’s gonna appear.” Jeonghan told you, wide eyed, taking a quick look around the room just to confirm she wasn’t there. 

“Pussy.”

“She’s coming to the rehearsal dinner though!” Jeonghan told you, wagging his pointer finger in the air, making you giggle. “And that’s Friday, so it’s coming up soon.”

“Ahh the rehearsal dinner. What are we rehearsing again?”

“We’re rehearsing how to fake date, Y/N, we’ve been over this.”

“And we have a whole dinner for it?”

“Yes! How kind of Wonwoo.”

You burst into fits of laughter, lolling your head into the crook of Jeonghan’s shoulder as you laughed, and he followed suit. Moments like this were ones where you felt so comfortable with him, like the bubble was intact once more. 

“We should start rehearsals now!” Jeonghan exclaimed, grabbing your elbows excitedly. “What do people in relationships do?”

You shrugged, and his arms moved with your shoulders. “I don’t know, you’re basically my first boyfriend.”

“Well you’re the first time I’m being a boyfriend.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.” He admitted, giggling. The two of you were so far gone, and neither of you had the capacity to realise it. “But I know people in relationships kiss! Kiss me Y/N!”

“Ew gross, you have cooties.” You pushed away his pouted lips.

“No I don’t! I’m vaccinated against cooties!” He whined, pulling you closer to him.

“What if I have cooties?”

“Just kiss me!”

Jeonghan grabbed your face, guiding it to his own, where his lips met yours in a kiss. It was delicate, a kiss for the sake of kissing, and you relished in the feeling. There was a comfort to kissing Jeonghan, a comfort you hadn’t felt for several years. He was comfort, and his kisses were a perfect specimen of that comfort. Kissing him was returning home after a winter’s day.

But decisions were sobering, and the feeling of your lips against his suddenly drained all the alcohol from Jeonghan’s body. He pulled away slowly to see you still half lidded, barely aware of your surroundings. He stole a glance at the clock on the wall, 2AM. Maybe the two of you should end the night here, before you did something you couldn’t go back from.

“Time to sleep, Y/N.”

“Don’t wanna.” You shrugged him off. “Wanna kiss you more!”

Jeonghan chuckled. “Me too. But we can’t.”

As he tucked you into bed, you were already on the verge of passing out, but he was wide awake. Jeonghan found himself hoping the hangover would be a bad one, a distraction from the memories he knew would flood back. He didn’t need to be reminded of how stupid he could be.

Day 16 - Sunday 18th November

Your hangover wasn’t as bad as last Saturday, but you still didn’t feel like dealing with the pounding headache. This time, as you went to wash your face and drink water in the bathroom, there was no Jeonghan to hold your hair back and give you panadol. He wasn’t in the kitchen causing a mess (cooking) either. No, your apartment was strangely quiet without his presence. As the pain in your head began to subside, you checked your phone to see a message sent three hours prior.

Hannie: work emergency - had to leave early. drink lots of water <3

Something felt so off about the message. Jeonghan’s boss was fairly laidback, and he had never had work emergencies that made him go to the studio on weekends. But you were also way too hungover to question it.

You hoped Jeonghan’s hangover had already passed. 

Day 18 - Monday 20th November

You called Jeonghan twice. It went to voicemail both times.

Day 19 - Wednesday 21st November

There was a flurry among the paralegals that day. You tried to ignore it, to keep your head down, but the amount of papers flapping in the air made you feel like there was a hoard of pigeons down the corridor. You hated the ‘open door unless in a meeting��� policy at work: half of the lawyers your level didn’t even follow the rule anyway. You wouldn’t have followed it had you not wanted so desperately to show what a good team member you were, and yet here you were, on a Wednesday afternoon, with nothing to show you it.

There was an annoying rap against your open door, and you briefly lifted your head to see Cha Eunwoo leaning against your doorframe. Eugh. Cha Eunwoo. The two of you were in the same cohort: graduated from high school in the same year, graduated from uni at the same time, went to the same law school, and both went straight to Kim-Byun Legal Services, where you’ve spent the entirety of your careers. And throughout law school and now work, you have wanted to beat Cha Eunwoo no matter the cost, and you never managed it.

“Can I help you? I’ve got quite a bit of work to complete.”

Eunwoo waltzed right in, taking the seat in front of your desk. “I have news, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“Do I even get a chance to say no? Not interested?”

Eunwoo was smart. You were smart too, but you liked to think (and Jeonghan liked to tell you) that you were smarter than most of those law students you competed against. Sure, they studied hard, they were good lawyers. But you were quick witted, and they couldn’t keep up. Eunwoo could. If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t be opposed to playing dirty, to pulling little tricks where you could to show him up, but Eunwoo would catch on. The only thing he didn’t seem to notice was how desperate you were to beat him. He never realised the battle you constantly fought, and it killed you. So you had to work twice as hard, three times as much, and play by the rules, just to win a challenge where you were the only one competing.

“I made partner!”

(At this point you stopped writing. This was the first time Eunwoo had ever managed to completely distract you.)

“I’m not supposed to tell anyone before Friday, that’s when they’re announcing it. But I get the new contract this evening, and you and I came in together, I know you would tell me if it was you!”

No shit you would. You would love to act all classy and poised, only to rub it in his face that you won! You did better! But no, Eunwoo won. Throughout everything, this was the first concrete time he’s won, and it’s shattered your reserve. You’re a good actor though, something that helped you get through this job, so you keep your head down.

“That’s great Eunwoo, congratulations. We’ll celebrate properly next week, I’ve got a rehearsal dinner on Friday though.” You met his gaze with a smile, even though there was rage behind it. Eunwoo didn’t seem to notice. “Now, I’ve got to get back to work.”

He nodded, barely containing his grin, shuffling out of your office. “See you later Y/N.”

God you wanted to cry. You wanted to yell and scream, cursing the world, the senior partners, and most of all Cha Eunwoo, who had showed you up once more.Your composure was slipping, a veil that threatened to fall off your head and reveal your facade to the world, but you refused to lose it at work. Instead, you closed the door as gently as you could, and hoped to god that the third time you called him, Jeonghan would pick up.

“Please, please, please pick up…” You whispered, as if you were summoning him.

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

Fuck. Voicemail. Once again.

You heard a beep and considered hanging up, but instead decided to send a message.

“Hey, um, I don’t know if you’re just busy, or you’re mad at me, I really hope it’s not the second. I haven’t heard from you in a while. That’s why I’m calling, I guess. Oh, and I’m not gonna be partner. I got passed over for it. Cha fucking Eunwoo made partner. Fuck. Sorry, I’m rambling now. I hope you’re doing okay? You know you can always come to me, but if you don’t want to that’s okay I guess, I’ll leave you be.”

Day 19 (cont.)

When you went home that day to punch your pillows and scream about Cha Eunwoo, the last thing you expected was to see Yoon Jeonghan walk in with chicken and beer as if nothing had happened, which was especially strange, as it was so expected on a normal day. But something was off. Something had changed. You just couldn’t quite put your thumb on what it was. 

“Are you mad at me?” You asked, your eyes more glassy than you realised. You could barely see Jeonghan, but you knew he had that stupid damn smile. Right now it was infuriating. “Is that why you disappeared?”

“No, never.” He told you, setting the chicken down on your dinner table. “Things really have just been so busy at work, I’ve barely had time for anyone.”

“But you have time to drop by with chicken?”

“Cha Eunwoo is an idiot compared to you.” Jeonghan told you, opening the can of beer with a hiss. “They missed out on not promoting you.”

You didn’t say anything in response, just stuffing your mouth with chicken. Jeonghan passed you a beer can. “Maybe I shouldn’t. I’ve got work in the morning, and last time we drank I didn’t remember anything after we started bitching about that one actor, Park Sunwoo.”

Jeonghan smiled at you, but you barely noticed, your expression trained on the can in front of you.

“Yeah, I don’t remember either,” He told you. “But one can’t hurt. We drank way too much last time, I’ll keep you in check.”

You shrugged, opening the can, and clinking it against Jeonghan’s. “Thanks boyfriend.” The metal made a satisfying clank noise, and you missed the way Jeonghan looked over at you. Maybe it’s changed, or maybe you’ve been missing it for a long time.

Jeonghan is your blind spot. You didn’t like surprises, you didn’t like feeling caught out, and you would always make sure you weren’t, until it came to Jeonghan. No matter how fast you ran, he always seemed to beat you by a few seconds. No matter how strong you were, he could always lift more. You and Jeonghan both had that same competitive drive, but you could never quite match him. As a teenager it pushed you to be better and better, but you’ve come to accept it. You’ll never beat Jeonghan. That’s why it’s always better to be on his side. 

You were observant, but you let your guard down around him. That was how Jeonghan won. He never let his guard down around anyone. He didn’t need to have it up around you, he didn’t keep secrets from you (and you didn’t keep them from him). But he kept everything close to his chest, and he wouldn’t let himself get caught out at any moment.

You wondered if it was hard for him to never reveal himself fully. You knew he still kept to himself around you. It was the only way he could still play tricks, pull pranks, and he loved it. He wouldn’t stay reserved if he didn’t want to. Still, it’s tough to feel like you can never fully reveal your facade. 

But there were moments he did. Like tonight, as he tucked you into bed once you fell asleep, and kissed your forehead with a sweetness he didn’t know was there. Maybe he would reveal it to you one day, but all in good time. 

You didn’t like feeling caught out. Jeonghan hated it with everything he’s got.

Day 21 - Friday 23rd November

“How are you feeling about seeing Jiwon?” Jeonghan didn’t answer, but the grip he had on your hand tightened as he stared down at the road. 

He and Jiwon were a bad match. He knew that, he knew that from the moment they met and she started talking about having a husband around at home to help with the kids one day. Jeonghan knew he could never be that. Sure, he had daydreamed about settling down, raising a family. Jeonghan could never be the husband Jiwon wanted him to be. Could never be the husband he wanted to become. But she was just so pretty, and she would stare down at him with a feverish grin that just made him weak in the knees, how could he say no to her?

So for three weeks, they went out, which for Jeonghan just meant promises of another day he never intended to keep so he could get back to her apartment. But she fully intended on keeping those promises, and soon she was the one setting up dates, and changing her name in his phone (which really freaked Jeonghan out, because, when did she have access to his phone?) to seem more like a girlfriend. Maybe Jeonghan wanted a girlfriend, but he definitely didn’t want to be a boyfriend, and now he was stuck acting one.

Jiwon didn’t believe him when he told her weeks later that they were incompatible. Why would she? She believed every lie that dripped from his lips, and couldn’t wrap her head around why it suddenly changed overnight. She thought he was lying, just trying to keep her away, but a good girlfriend doesn’t give up so easily.

And so began the midnight calls, the uninvited show ups to his workplace or his apartment (Seungcheol definitely had a fun time telling her off, not that it kept her away), and the letters slid under your door begging for your help getting Jeonghan back. This is what led to the whole thing. She seemed to calm down once Jeonghan posted you on his instagram, but neither of you could predict what she would do when she saw you together. 

She was Eliza’s sister in law (Eliza’s brother’s wife’s sister, who just had to attend), so her attendance was expected, and you knew it made Jeonghan all the more nervous, especially in the way he would speed round corners. It didn’t frighten you, but worry for your friend escaped you anyway, and you squeezed his hand whenever the car revved. 

Jeonghan pulled into the street along Wonwoo’s house, seeing cars littered along the side, and Jeonghan pulled the car into park. You took his hand off the gear shift and brought it to your lips, kissing it comfortingly. “Everything’s gonna be alright. I promise.”

“You promise?” He took a glance at you, and smiled cheekily. “Well what happens if you break the promise? What do I get?”

“I’ll cook you an actually decent brekkie to apologise, not those rubber pancakes you’ve been serving me these past few weeks.”

“Hey! You love those pancakes!”

“The texture is so chewy and terrible Jeonghan, I’m begging you to just use a recipe.”

“I don’t need one.” He huffed, but he never let go of your hand.

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. Honestly, he was right. You did love the pancakes. Of course, they were way too chewy and tasted of nothing without lashings of sugar and lemon, but you loved that Jeonghan had been making them for you all the past mornings you had spent together. 

“Cmon, it’s time to head inside.”

The two of you walked hand in hand towards the door, and you could feel the deep breaths Jeonghan took to calm his pulsing heart. He really didn’t want to cause a scene or do anything to ruin Wonwoo’s rehearsal dinner (or god forbid the actual wedding), but he felt so much more secure with your hand in his.

You weren’t surprised to see Wonwoo’s place completely packed. He and Eliza were having a fairly small wedding, but with the sheer number of family members on Eliza’s side, their starter apartment was bursting at the seams. You held onto Jeonghan as tightly as you could, and still you felt like he was slipping from your grasp.

“Y/N! Jeonghan!” A familiar voice greeted you, and you turned to see Jun greet you. You hugged him gently as he started going on about seating plans (there wasn’t much of a plan, with half of the guests eating off of paper plates on the floor, but Wonwoo had made sure to save his nice carpet for you and a few of his friends). “Don’t worry, the two of you are together, of course. Minghao stayed up all night setting up this seating chart.” You scanned your eyes to see who was attending, and saw most of your friends, minus one. 

“Is Joshua here?” You cut Jun off with a worried look. “He was acting really weird last Saturday.”

“Yeah, he’s helping out in the kitchen.” Jun told you, pointing down past the archway to where there was (hopefully steam) pouring out. “He seemed fine to me though, he’s probably over whatever it was. Oh! Mingyu’s just arrived. He’s so late, that goddamn best man should have been here an hour ago! Got to run.”

Jun rushed past you, leaving Jeonghan and you hand in hand in the entryway. Jeonghan turned to look at you. “Is this a I want to see Joshua and flaunt our thriving and perfect relationship at him so he gets jealous?”

You pushed his shoulder. “No. It’s an I think I should be avoiding him thing. I’m still a little shocked by what he told me.”

Jeonghan smiled down at you. “Good luck avoiding him when we’re sitting with him at dinner.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you really have to pay more attention to Jun’s rambles. They often contain useful information.”

You groaned, leaning your head against his arm. He smiled, leading you towards the carpet, where Seokmin and Seungkwan were already seated. You waved a hello towards them, not wanting to remove yourself from Jeonghan’s side.

“God these two are way too cute together.” Seokmin spoke, nudging Jeonghan’s side. 

You blushed, hiding your face as much as you could. Jeonghan was almost shocked at your display, you were far too good at playing the doting S/O, but it was working. He watched the way Joshua stared at you from the kitchen doorway. He knew without a doubt from the way Joshua looked over at you how jealous he was. That was what he wanted, right?

After a few minutes of small talk, Joshua eventually sat down next to you (even though there was a free space between to Jeonghan and Seokmin, which Jihoon ended up filling, with his husband settling in next to him) and the rehearsal dinner began. Luckily, with Minghao as wedding planner, there was never a free moment for Joshua to steal your attention. Jeonghan wasn’t sure if you or him was more glad about the fact, but he kept an arm around you at all times, separating your shoulder from Joshua’s. 

As the dinner went on, with less formality and more people moving around the space to congratulate the future couple and catch up with old friends, your ‘table’ settled into a comfortable talk. Jun was right, Joshua seemed fine, which only made Jeonghan feel more uneasy. It helped settle your nerves though, and Jeonghan realised your grip on his side had loosened, and you were leaning towards Joshua ever so slightly. No one else at the table would realise, but Jeonghan knew, and he was sure Joshua did too.

“Honestly I’m still surprised Jeonghan actually had the guts to ask Y/N out.” Seokmin said offhandedly, and you looked up at Jeonghan with a cute grin. You were so good at playing the role, but why didn’t it feel like a role anymore? Jeonghan must be losing his touch if he was falling for your act. 

Joshua took a sip of his wine, smiling as he spoke. “We all thought you two would never get a date before you realised you liked each other. Good thing you finally manned up to it, Jeonghan.”

Your gaze suddenly snapped towards the crowd. “Why does everyone always assume Jeonghan asked me out?” Jeonghan tensed, and everyone surrounding you looked away from your inquisitive gaze. Joshua opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by Jiwon’s commanding presence. 

She was so short and petite, keeping to herself, but she walked with such a force that commanded attention. Her eyes were trained not on Jeonghan, but instead focused closely on you. 

“And who did ask who out?” She asked sweetly, but you felt your tongue go numb under her gaze. 

Jeonghan held you closer to his side, and you settled into him with comfort. “We kissed, and both decided to go for it. It was mutual.”

She hummed, still staring at you. “Well. I’m happy for you two.” And with that, she turned on the ball of her foot, walking away like nothing happened. You let out a shaky breath, and felt Jeonghan do the same. As Seungkwan and Seokmin started hissing gossip about Jiwon, you reached out for Jeonghan’s hand, relishing in the comfort of his touch. 

“God she’s terrifying.” You told him in a whisper. “At least it’s over.”

He grinned at you. “Damn, I was looking forward to your breakfast in bed special.”

“You think I’m serving you in my bed? You would spill it everywhere, no way am I cleaning up that mess.”

“You wound me, babe.”

Jeonghan knew Joshua was staring, maybe that’s why when the urge to kiss you overcame him, he took it, placing a kiss on your cheek, as close to your lips as he could get. You let him, only to wonder why well and truly after.

Day 22 - Saturday 24th November

You were awoken by the now familiar smell of Jeonghan’s rubber chicken pancakes, and you followed the smell out to the kitchen.

“How do you always manage to wake up before me?”

“You always sleep in way too late.” He told you, flipping a pancake onto your plate and pushing it towards you. “Last day!”

“Huh?”

“It’s the wedding today. After today, we will no longer be officially dating.”

“Oh, right.”

You didn’t realise how quickly three weeks could pass. There was a strange sense of dread that passed through your system, although you blamed the pancakes. It felt weird that after everything, tomorrow all would be as it was before, as if this whole ordeal never happened. 

“We’re gonna have to stage a breakup, of course.” Jeonghan told you, still flipping pancakes. “But we can plan that out tomorrow. In the meantime eat up! We’ll have to leave in an hour.”

You nodded along, feeling too tired to speak so early in the morning (10:30). Jeonghan sat down next to you, shovelling down pancakes as quickly as he could (how he managed to chew through those was a mystery to you) before excusing himself to your bathroom while you continued eating. God, why were these so salty today? Jeonghan’s latest prank, you suspected, but you didn’t have the strength to confront him, especially once you heard the splash of the shower turning on. You began cleaning dishes, not waiting for Jeonghan to finish showering before you stole the hot water, and giggled as you heard his shrieks. Hopefully the wedding would give you a little bit more energy.

Day 22 (cont.)

You and Jeonghan arrived at the warehouse at 11:40. You still had a few minutes before the ceremony would begin, and knowing how these things tended to go, you knew you had plenty of time. You walked hand in hand with Jeonghan, and tried not to think about how this was the last time you would be able to as you settled into a pew. Soon after, Joshua sat down next to you, clearly dateless. He didn’t say anything, and aside from a nod of recognition, you didn’t say anything to him either, instead choosing to rest your head on Jeonghan’s shoulder. 

Silence is comforting, whenever it’s done right. With you and Jeonghan, silence never felt awkward, it was just a frame of being with him. It was relaxed, you felt no need to fill the air with meaningless speak. Your silence was interrupted as Seungcheol ran up to Jeonghan.

“Han, we need your help. Wonwoo can’t find his cufflinks, he’s dropped them somewhere, and it is freaking Mingyu out, please come look.”

Jeonghan looked at you, but you smiled. “Go help them. I’ll be right here.” He hurriedly followed Seungcheol to Wonwoo’s dressing room, cursing him under his breath.

You were left alone with Joshua, and the silence suddenly felt suffocating. It didn’t seem to bother him, as he spoke quietly about the venue. “Isn’t it all so gorgeous? Minghao really did a great job pulling this off.”

You hummed, leaning over to point out the fairy lights strung along the ceiling. “See those? That was all me.”

“Ahh, I was wondering. They’re my favourite.”

You smiled, and Joshua turned to face you properly. “I’m sorry about what I said, Y/N. I didn’t mean to scare you. I think I was just jealous.”

Your eyes widened. You felt strangely off guard. “Jealous?”

“Yeah. I just broke things off with Heejin, and then having not dated anyone seriously in, I think ever, Jeonghan suddenly lands a great person like you.” He admitted shyly, squeezing your shoulder with his hand. 

“I landed him, too.” You reminded him, but you could barely process what you were saying as you realised he hadn’t moved his hand. 

“Of course. You two are good together.” He told you, and you smiled.

“We are.”

Day 22 (cont.)

The pop of a champagne bottle was one you couldn’t miss. As you entered the reception hall, your eyes gravitated towards the bar, and you pulled Jeonghan along with you. 

“I can’t believe how many of our friends are married now.” You told Jeonghan as you waited for the bartender to return with your drinks (or water, in Jeonghan’s case. He was determined to stick to his word until the very end). “First Seungcheol, then Soonyoung - who even saw that one coming - then Jihoon and now Wonwoo.”

“We’re getting into that phase of our lives.” He shrugged. “Makes sense to me.”

“Yeah but what about you and me? We’ve never even properly dated.” You pouted. “What happens when they all leave us?”

“Then we’ll have each other.” He told you. “Have you already started drinking? The reception’s only just begun.”

You grinned sheepishly. “We got here late! Anyway, it’s been such a hellish few weeks! Let me have this.” The bartender approached you with a shot glass that you quickly downed, and you pulled Jeonghan to your assigned seats (next to each other, of course). You were greeted by the same table as the night before, and you waved to Seokmin and Jihoon who sat opposite you. 

“Where’s Joshua?” You asked, and giggled when Seungkwan pointed towards the flailing figure on the dance floor. 

“He’s already drunk and living his best life.”

“Good for him!”

At the mention of his name, Joshua stumbled over, grabbing your hands in an attempt to pull you to the dance floor with him. You looked over at Jeonghan, your boyfriend for only a few more hours, but he waved you off. “Go enjoy yourself.”

You grinned, letting Joshua lead you. Jeonghan smiled as he watched you, his chest tugging with a strange feeling. 

“Why’d you let him take Y/N?” Jihoon asked. “You know he likes them.”

The tugging in his chest felt stronger, but Jeonghan ignored it. “As long as they’re having fun.”

It doesn’t matter anyway. They like him too.

Seokmin and Seungkwan eventually joined them, and Jihoon and his husband went dancing as well. Jeonghan instead placed his attention on his phone, flipping through all the stories of Wonwoo’s wedding venue he had been tagged in. There was one, posted by Soonyoung, that he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from. You were in the corner, next to Jeonghan, and there was something so sweet about the way you stared at him. It was dangerous, convincing him of something that wasn’t real. 

“Hey Jeongie.”

Jeonghan looked up to see Jiwon, sat in the seat that once belonged to you. She had that same cat like gaze that made him fall for her initially, but now he felt nothing. He really was bad at committing, he couldn’t even commit to finding Jiwon attractive.

“Hi Jiwon. What are you doing here?”

She cooed, running her hand up and down his arm, much to Jeonghan’s discomfort. He looked away, breaking the eye contact she was trying to keep. 

“Did you leave me for Y/N?” She asked, tutting under her breath. “I remember everything you told me, how they’ve never really dated. They’re not partner material, Jeongie, I am.”

“I didn’t leave you for Y/N,” He began, a shiver trailing up his spine. “We ended it because I didn’t want to date you any more. Y/N came after that.”

Jiwon leaned close, her lips barely separate from Jeonghan’s ear, and he couldn’t lean any further back in his chair. “Maybe not for long. They don’t seem to like the way we’re talking.”

Jeonghan tore Jiwon’s hand from his arm, looking to the dance floor to see tears close to spilling out of your eyes. When you met his gaze, you ran away, not willing to let him see you like this. Why did it feel this way? Joshua glared at Jeonghan, and quickly followed you as you ran down the corridor. 

“Jiwon just stop!” Jeonghan raised his voice, cringing at the volume (and the heads that turned towards the commotion). “It’s over, just leave me alone, please.”

He ignored her whimpered sobs as he got out of his seat and scrambled to find you, but the sounds of Jiwon crying made him feel awful. He didn’t exactly handle their relationship well, and he wasn’t handling what was left of yours well either. 

As he ran to find you, his heard lurched when he heard your own voice muffled by cries.

“It’s s-so dumb…”

“Clearly he was just trying to make her jealous, Y/N.” What was Joshua telling you? 

“He wasn’t doing that.”

“You don’t deserve someone who will use you.”

Jeonghan couldn’t deny the guilt those words caused on his poor heart. Sure, you knew what was happening, but he was still using you, wasn’t he? It was his idea to start this whole fake dating thing.

“I wouldn’t use you like that.”

“Josh…”

Just as he had caught up to the sound of your voice, Jeonghan caught a glimpse of you in Joshua’s embrace, with his lips on yours. And his aching heart shattered.

You pulled away from Joshua to see Jeonghan’s forlorn expression, a sight you don’t think you had ever seen before. 

“Hannie, I promise, it’s not what it-“

“Looks like? What a cliche Y/N.” He scoffed, moving away from you.

“Hey man, I kissed them.” Joshua spoke, dropping a protective arm over you, one that weighed you down and you wriggled out of quickly. “Besides, serves you right for using Y/N to make Jiwon jealous.”

“You’re so fucking stupid Joshua.” Jeonghan spat. “They were using me to make you jealous, looks like it worked, huh?”

“No, Jeonghan, wait-“

“Deal’s off, Y/N. We’re no longer dating.”

And he ran. And no matter how fast you ran too, you knew you wouldn’t be able to catch up to him.

Day 23 - Sunday 25th November

You woke up on Wonwoo’s couch with a massive headache and chest pain, although you knew only one of those was due to your hangover. He and Eliza ended up taking you home, luckily they weren’t going on their honeymoon for another week. Wonwoo was rubbing your back as you vomited, and the worst pain was knowing that it would never be Jeonghan doing this role anymore.

“I still don’t get it.” He admitted. “Although most of these weeks have been a blur for me.”

“I’m not really supposed to tell you.” You told him, sipping the glass of water in your hands. “We made these rules.”

“Tell me anyway, because no matter what it is it’s not worth losing him forever.”

You sighed, and settled against the tiled floor. “It’s a long story.”

“It’s a Sunday. Quit stalling and tell me what happened.”

“Fine fine!” You gasped, shoving Wonwoo slightly. “So pushy.”

“You know how Jiwon wouldn’t leave Jeonghan alone?” Wonwoo nodded along with your story. “Well, we knew she would be at the wedding, and Jeonghan really wanted her to take the hint that he wasn’t interested, so we decided to date. Well, fake date. Just to get her off his back.”

“And you agreed to this?”

“I didn’t really want to? But…”

“You were in love with Joshua.” You stared at Wonwoo in shock. He smiled back at you. “You’re not as difficult to read as you like to think you are. Maybe the other idiots we call friends can’t see it, but it was fairly obvious to me.”

“But you didn’t realise Jeonghan and I weren’t actually together?”

“Just continue the story already.”

“Well yeah. Jeonghan convinced me we could make Joshua jealous, so I agreed. We said we wouldn’t tell anyone, and we would post about it online so everyone believed it was real, and then once Jiwon backed off at the wedding, we would call it off.” You recalled the story, rubbing your head as the pain settled and you felt like your skull was cracking open. “God do you have any painkillers?”

“I don’t really get hangovers.”

“You lucky bitch.”

“What happened at the reception, Y/N?”

You cringed at the flood of memories. Most of the time when you got drunk and made bad decisions, your brain saved you the embarrassment of remembering everything. This time, you couldn’t escape the images. Of Jiwon and Jeonghan, of the way Jeonghan looked at you, the way he ran away from you. 

“Joshua and I were dancing, and when I looked back I saw Jiwon flirting with Jeonghan.” You gulped, feeling an all too familiar lump in your throat. “And I ran off.”

“Why’d you run?”

“I don’t know. And then Joshua kissed me, and I thought it would be perfect, but it felt wrong.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know! And then Jeonghan saw, and I don’t know why but he was so upset, and then he left. He left me, Wonwoo.”

“You really don’t know why he was upset?” Wonwoo questioned, and you met his gaze with a confused expression. “Even after all this time, Jeonghan can still surprise you, wow.”

“What do you know?”

“I know that just like you, Jeonghan is not as difficult to read as he thinks he is.” Wonwoo told you, stroking your hair. “Nine years ago, at 2:30 in the morning, I got a call from Jeonghan, who was so excited because he finally got the nerve to kiss you, and he went for it. And then the next day, nothing. And you two continued this dance around never going out, even when everyone could see how much you liked each other.”

“That’s not true, I don’t like Jeonghan.”

“Then why is Jiwon bothering you? Why did you even agree to this whole thing? There are easier ways to get close to Joshua that don’t involve pretending to date your best friend.”

“I…” For once, you didn’t have anything to say.

“You do know, Y/N. You have to stop acting so blind when it comes to Jeonghan. All the signs are there, you just don’t want to address them.”

He offered you his hand, pulling you up off of the bathroom floor. “Want to know why we all thought Jeonghan asked you out? It’s because we all knew he likes you. It’s actually pretty obvious.”

Day 24 - Monday 26th November

There was a knocking at your door. This wasn’t like Jeonghan’s courtesy knocks before he let himself into your house, this was a gentle knock that barely reverberated through the room. 

You walked up to let Joshua into your house. He was shocked to see you like this - tear stricken cheeks, eyes and nose red and running. 

“You look…”

“Shit, I know.” You finished for him. “What do you want, Joshua?”

“I wanted to apologise.” He looked over your shoulder expectantly.

“Fine, come in, but you can’t come any further than the entryway. I just don’t want everyone to be spectators of this.”

Joshua followed you in, shuffling awkwardly. He acted as if he had never been in your apartment before. You weren’t entirely sure he had been. You let him shut the door gently behind him, and you leaned against the wall, blocking him from moving any closer in. 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you while you were dating Jeonghan. I’m sorry.”

You clicked your tongue, not moving position. “Yeah, that was messed up. You’re Jeonghan’s friend. You’re my friend. I felt like you were just fighting over me to compete with him.”

“Y/N, that’s not true.” He reached his hand out to caress your arm, but you pulled it back. 

“What’s even been going on with you?” You asked. “I’ve barely seen you since your breakup, none of us have, and you were a total dick the whole time Jeonghan and I were dating.”

Joshua scoffed, and you gasped at his attitude. “Yeah well you guys weren’t actually together though, right?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does!” He raised his voice as he began to yell. “Why are you upset? It’s not like you were cheating or anything, it wasn’t real.”

“Are you kidding? You didn’t know we weren’t actually together! What’s your excuse?”

“My excuse is that according to Jeonghan, the only reason you were even pretending to date was to make me jealous, and now you’re upset that it worked? I’m jealous. I’m jealous that Jeonghan got to go out with you and play the part of boyfriend, even if it was fake.”

“That’s not the reason.”

“Oh, so you didn’t want to make me jealous?”

He was staring at you with an intensity you hadn’t seen since law school, and it reminded you of the Joshua you once knew. The Joshua you fell for. And as you met his gaze, you realised all your feelings for him were gone. Every desire for him to fall for you like you had fallen for him had dissipated, because you weren’t sure you had ever fallen for him. You loved his drive, maybe that was all you loved. 

“I did.”

“So what changed?”

“What do you think, Josh?”

He scoffed, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Of course. Of course I can’t beat him.”

“Joshua…”

“No, just,” He sighed, shuffling away from you. “Why do you always choose him?”

“I don’t, but I’m choosing him now.” You told him, And you were. After twenty two days with Jeonghan, Joshua didn’t feel as important to you anymore. 

Joshua turned to leave your apartment. “Josh.” He looked at you, and you met his gaze for the last time. “You should have kissed me all the years I was pining after you, not once I wasn’t an option anymore. Maybe it would have been different.”

He left without another word, and your door shut so gently as he left. 

Day 25 - Tuesday 27th November

You hadn’t been blocked. You could still see the messages, you knew he was reading them, he just wouldn’t respond. He wasn’t picking up either.

“Cmon Jeonghan…” You whispered under your breath. “Please just pick up.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

You groaned at the now too familiar sound of his voicemail. Was he ever going to talk to you again?

Okay, it was kind of your fault. Had it been anyone else, this would have felt so obvious, but you were so oblivious when it came to Jeonghan, and now here you were, pining for your best friend, hoping he would finally return. 

“Hey Han,” You started talking, but you had no idea what to say. The only thoughts running through your mind were please just come back to me, but you weren’t sure how to say that without bursting into tears. “I, uh, I really want to talk to you, please. I miss you.”

You hung up, only to find your fingers reaching for the contact once more.

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“Hi again. I want you to know that, umm, I spoke to Wonwoo. He called me an idiot, basically.” You chuckled as you recounted that morning, although you knew Jeonghan probably wouldn’t be laughing as he listened. If he listened. If you two weren’t… wherever this had led you, you know he would probably laugh at that, but he wasn’t here anymore. “I didn’t know. I should have known, but I didn’t, and I just really want to talk to you. Please.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“Hey, um, I didn’t like the kiss. The one with Joshua. I think I did kiss him back? But I didn’t like it. I would choose our posed cafe kiss so much sooner than the one he gave me. I don’t even want it. Please talk to me.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“It was so stupid of me to be jealous of Jiwon. I know you don’t like her, I just, I was so drunk and stressed out, I freaked out. It was so so stupid, and I’m sorry, but I hope you know that it was jealousy because I wanted to be in her place. God, this is so embarrassing.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I don’t think I like Joshua? I know, drastic turn. I think I just looked up to him, growing up. He’s always been so out of reach and ahead of everyone else, I think I mistook it for love when it wasn’t. I don’t love him.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I know I fucked up. Well, Joshua fucked up most of all, but I shouldn’t have run off like that. But you ran too. You didn’t let me explain. And last week, you disappeared. I know you said you were busy but it felt like you were running from me? And I fucked up because I ran, so you’re no better than me.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“Please ignore what I just said. I’m not upset with you. Well, actually, I am. I think I’m mostly upset with myself? Or mostly upset with Joshua? But I’m still a little upset with you. Please can we just talk?”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I’ll leave you alone after this one, I promise. I just… I miss you. And I think I need an explanation, because I’ve been clueless about this for way too long.”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I love you. In every sense of the word.”

Day 26 - Wednesday 28th November

You felt so strange in front of Jeonghan’s door. Although he spent so much time with you in your house, very rarely would you visit him in his. You and him would always blame his roommate, but truthfully you knew it wasn’t that. Even though Vernon wasn’t the tidiest or most respectful of privacy, you were happy when he was around. No, Jeonghan’s house was a barrier between the two of you, a final wall he had placed to protect himself. And now you were destroying the that sanctity. 

You almost felt bad, but you were so desperate for him to talk to you again. Sure, the two of you had arguments, but nothing like this, and you weren’t sure that without drastic measures, you would ever even see Jeonghan again. So here you were, your knuckles rapt against Jeonghan’s door, waiting to see him.

The door swung open, but Jeonghan wasn’t there. Instead stood Vernon, who looked like he had only rolled out of bed at the sound of your knocking. Honestly, had it been true, it wouldn’t have surprised you, despite it being 8:30 in the evening. You had no idea what this boy’s schedule was, if he even followed a set one.

“Oh, hey Vernon.”

“Hey Y/N.’

You shuffled on your feet. You and Vernon were friends - you practically grew up together, why did this feel so awkward?

“Cool party, by the way.” He cocked his head in confusion. “Sofia’s party! Two weeks ago, I know you helped her set it up. It was fun, from what I remember, Jeonghan dragged me along to it and I got very drunk very quickly.” Okay, you were rambling now. That helped. “Speaking of, is he here?”

“He?”

“Jeonghan? Is he home?”

“Nah, he’s um..” Vernon trailed off, and you cringed. Clearly he had told Vernon to ward you away. “He’s staying back late at work. Do you, do you want me to tell him you were here?”

You sighed, feeling your shoulders slump. “Don’t bother. Have a good evening, Hansol.”

“See you around Y/N.”

Vernon let the door shut in front of him, He hated lying, and unlike his roommate, he was absolutely terrible at it. 

“If Y/N comes, just tell her I’m out.”

Jeonghan wouldn’t talk to Vernon. He barely spoke to Seungcheol, who was dropping by every night to check up on his friend. He hadn’t seen him for more than a few minutes every day as he left for work and stumbled back home afterwards. All Vernon could hope for was that you solved your issues with him soon. A grumpy Jeonghan was a nightmare, a heartbroken Jeonghan was a ghost. 

Day 27 - Thursday 29th November

Eunwoo’s office had been mostly empty for a few days now, but today he picked up the last two boxes to take to his new office, a floor above. Instead of seeing his smug face across from your office door, all you saw was a clean desk, no files or loose papers across the surface like there had been before. It felt like a cruel reminder of what you were so close to gaining. Partnership. Jeonghan. You couldn’t tell which was making you more depressed currently. 

You barely noticed when Eunchae walked up to your office, knocking gently against your open door. “You alright, Y/N?”

“Hmm? Yeah I’m fine Eunchae. Can I help you with anything?” You spoke, not lifting your head to meet her gaze. You didn’t want her to see the bags that had formed under your puffy eyes. It’s hard to fall asleep these days.

“I just wanted to say you should have been the next junior partner, not Eunwoo.” She barely whispered, and you understood why. The office behind her was practically haunted by Eunwoo’s cheery spirit. “He’s a good lawyer, but he barely pays attention to us and the newer lawyers. You take good care of us.”

You smiled at her words. “Thanks Eunchae.”

She walked in, letting the door close behind her. You had given up all pretence of following the dumb rules like commandments, and Eunchae caught on quick. “That’s why you’ve been so sad this week, right?”

“That’s.. half of it. How have you noticed?”

She shrugged. “I’m smarter than they are. What’s the other half?”

“Boy troubles, I guess.”

She leaned in. “Is this about your boyfriend? The one you posted on insta?” You nodded, and she smiled, pleased with her detective skills. “What happened?”

“He didn’t tell me he liked me until too late, and now I’m realising that I like him too, but he won’t talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, why doesn’t your boyfriend already know you like him?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Okay..” She trailed off. “Have you told him how you really feel?”

“Yeah, but he won’t talk to me anyway.” 

“Tell him again.” She advised. “People are stupid, they don’t believe what’s right in front of him. What have you got to lose, anyway?”

Day 27 (cont.)

“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”

“I don’t want to fill your inbox, so I swear, if you don’t respond to this, I’ll leave you alone forever. But god I’m going to miss you if you leave. You’re such a heartbreaker, Hannie, you’re about to break mine. I’m in love with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it. Please just, let me know if you feel the same, or if everyone was wrong. I guess if I don’t hear from you again I’ve gotten my answer. I.. Goodnight, Jeonghan.”

Day 28 - Friday 30th November

You hadn’t heard anything from Jeonghan. All night, you stayed up, staring at your phone, hoping it would light up with a call, a text, anything. God, you would even settle for a subtweet, but nothing. When 5AM hit and the light of dawn peered in through your blinds you had given up. Jeonghan wanted nothing to do with you. 

You called in sick to work. It wasn’t difficult, crying will make you sound all stuffy and blocked. You hoped the sniffles that slipped from your lips weren’t understood as what they truly were: forming scars. Whatever, it gave you an excuse to stay in bed all day.

You kept your promise, not to bother Jeonghan again, but couldn’t find it in yourself to delete conversations or photos. Your heart was shattered, and the pieces were lost deep in the text messages he sent, you couldn’t delete them so easily. 

You made one phone call, to Wonwoo, when you woke again at 5PM.

“He hates me, Woo. I think I lost him forever.”

“If that’s really the case then he’s an idiot. Just like you.”

You felt no desire to reach out to anyone else, or let anyone know you were alive. You didn’t feel alive. All you wanted was to sink into your mattress and hide from the world. The blankets covering your face would have to do in the meantime. It was a weak shield, but you were hidden all the same, and that’s all you needed.

Someone came to check on you earlier, or perhaps it was just your neighbour. You heard the knocks, but pretended no one was home. They left quickly. You felt so forgettable, so discarded. What a pathetic existence.

9:21 PM flashed across your phone screen, but you didn’t seem to notice it. It was silenced on your kitchen counter, far away from you, because you knew if you kept it nearby you would do something stupid. And you were careful. You needed to be even more careful than before, now that you were nursing a broken heart. 

When the knocks on your door sounded you hid even further away. They would go away, they all did. And the knocks did subside, replaced instead by the clink of keys. Fuck, was it your landlord? What was he doing here? The door opened, and you pulled the sheets tight over your head. Hopefully he would just leave.

You heard footsteps slowly lead to your room. Fuck, was this a home invasion? Maybe you should be more scared, but you couldn’t find it in you to do anything but stay in a frozen position. Your bedroom door creaked open, and you felt your heartbeat in your eyes.

This was it. You were going to die, and you couldn’t even see Jeonghan one last time before some stranger took you out in your own home. Well, the apartment you had rented  for years. God, you were almost thirty, and you were about to die alone in a starter apartment you never bothered to leave. Why was this world so cruel?

“Y/N.”

Fuck. It wasn’t your landlord. It was Jeonghan. Somehow, when being confronted with the person you’ve been trying to reach for days, your confidence disappears.

“I know you’re not sleeping, Y/N.”

Maybe if you didn’t respond he would go away? Did you even want him to? Why weren’t you doing anything?

“I saw you left your phone in the kitchen. You’ve got a voicemail, by the way. It’s from an hour ago. I’m gonna play it for you, okay?”

“Hey Y/N. It’s me, obviously. I um, you’re right. I shouldn’t have run away. I was being a coward. I’ve been a coward the entire time we’ve been friends, because I don’t know when, but at some point I feel so hopelessly in love with you and I’ve been hiding it this entire time. Fuck, I really need to see you. Can I come over?”

Your protective sheets were pulled from your head, and you were met with the sight of Jeonghan, who’s eyes were as puffy as your own. He smiled down at you.

“You look like shit.”

“So do you.”

“Yeah, well, I was heartbroken.” Jeonghan grinned as he spoke. God, he was so beautiful. “I thought my best friend who I’ve loved for years didn’t love me back.”

You sat up, reaching for Jeonghan’s hand, which he gladly gave you. “Why didn’t you ever tell me before now?”

“Had to protect my fragile heart.” He told you, locking into your eyes. You were frozen in place once more. You had never once thought of Jeonghan as fragile, yet here he was, baring his soul to you, like a glass canary had been placed in your hands. “I was so content to just hide it all my life, watch as you fall deeper in love with Joshua, and then I discovered I really loved being your fake boyfriend. I never thought I would enjoy being a boyfriend, but something about being with you makes it so easy.”

All the walls you swore you would put up had been torn down by Jeonghan before you could even begin construction.

“Besides, what exactly was I supposed to think when you hated our first kiss?”

You gasped. “I didn’t hate it! We both agreed it felt weird the next morning.”

“Sure, I definitely thought that, and wasn’t just agreeing with you to save myself the embarrassment of rejection.”

You cringed as you thought of that fateful day. “I don’t know Hannie, when I woke up that morning things felt as if they had changed, and it scared me.” You blushed, feeling regretful of your naivety. “I was so scared of things changing for the worse I never considered that they could get better.”

Jeonghan’s hand met your jaw, pulling you towards him with such a sense of nostalgia. “What about now? Are you still scared?”

“A little.” You whispered. You didn’t need to say it any louder, you knew he could hear you. “But I don’t want my fears to hold me back any more.”

“Oh yeah? Show me.”

You rolled your eyes at Jeonghan, before doing exactly that, and capturing his lips with your own. No fireworks, no eruptions. Kissing him was the comfort you had craved for years. Jeonghan was your home.

You pulled away from him, letting your eyes flutter open. “That count as proof?”

He hummed. “I don’t know, why don’t you show me again?”

“You’re such a loser, Yoon.” You teased, but did exactly as he wanted.

Day 1 (of forever to come) - Saturday 1st December

This past month had no shortage of you waking with Jeonghan in your apartment, but this was the first time you had woken up beside him, arms tangled together. Your phone was buzzing incessantly under your pillow, and who thought it was a good idea to interrupt your sleep so early in the morning?

Oh, Wonwoo. You should probably give him peace of mind, after everything he’s done for you.

“Hello?” You spoke groggily, trying as best as you could to whisper so as to not wake Jeonghan, still asleep next to you.

“Y/N? Have you seen Jeonghan recently? I know you guys are fighting, but Vernon told me he left last night without saying anything and he’s still not back yet, it’s already 10.”

“Wow, Vernon’s up early on a Saturday. I’m not even out of bed yet.”

Wonwoo hissed through your speakers. “Take this seriously! Your best friend is missing!”

Jeonghan stirred, and before you could say anything, he spoke instead. “Y/N, tell your friend to hush, I’m trying to sleep.”

You stayed silent, and Wonwoo was silenced too. 

“Is that…”

“Yeah, he’s here with me. He’s not missing, you can tell Vernon he’s alright.”

“Holy shit! He’s in bed with you?”

“He stayed the night…”

“Get it.”

“Shut up Wonwoo.”

Jeonghan reached his hand over to you. “Lemme talk to him.” You obliged, handing the phone to him.

“Hey Wonwoo, no nothing happened. Well, Y/N confessed their undying feelings for me and told me how incredibly attractive and sexy I am and how I’ve ruined anyone else’s love-“

“JEONGHAN!”

“Yep gotta go, bye Wonwoo!”

You snatched the phone from Jeonghan, only to see the call had already ended. “You snake! Stop badmouthing me to our friends!”

He gasped in mock offense. “Bad mouthing? Never! That’s basically what happened last night, anyway.”

“You’re missing the part where you confessed first.” You reminded him, pushing against his arm, but he resisted your force, instead wrapping his arms around you and holding you as you squirmed. “Let go of me you weasel.”

“Weasel? Are you gonna pay for the damages you’re causing my heart?” He pouted, and you wanted to badly to shove (kiss…) that pout off his face. 

“More like ego.”

“Wonwoo has always known how incredibly whipped I am for you, he doesn’t need a reminder.” Jeonghan whispered above you. “Do you?”

You nodded slyly. “You’ve got a decade of reminders to make up for hiding this from me for so long. You better get cracking.”

Jeonghan leaned over to kiss your forehead. “Why rush it? We’ve got the rest of our lives, and I’m going to make sure you never forget just how much I love you.”

AN: i think this is the first time i’ve ever written a happy ending but goddamn i love this fic

+ read the university kiss scene here!!

#caratwritersclub #seventeen fic #jeonghan fic #fake dating au #seventeen fake dating #svt fluff #svt scenario #jeonghan scenario #svt angst #seventeen angst #jeonghan angst #seventeen friends to lovers #yoon jeonghan #joshua #joshua x reader #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x you

[totowlff]

your newest tweet gave me a few ideas.. what about a oneshot where reader gets called into toto's office bc she was often seen getting way too comfy with another team's worker and then toto gets mad and tells her that's not good for mercedes's image etc but actually hes just jealous.... what do you say?

i guess this makes you his...

prisioner

Walking towards meeting room number two, you still felt the effect of jet lag on your body. Readjusting to the Brackley’s time zone was always a challenge, even more so after races in Asia and the fact that you were at the factory the day after you returned wasn't much help. However, it wasn't like you could refuse to go, especially with the bold letters in the email that had arrived during your flight.

And you knew your boss wouldn't take no for an answer.

— He could have scheduled it for later — you muttered to yourself, as you passed by an employee who was holding a tray with a cup of coffee, which would be very welcome after the meeting, the subject of which you still didn't know.

It was strange to your boss not to tell you what would be discussed, but you could already imagine what he would prattle on about to you and the rest of the team. “He must think he was sorely missed in Suzuka”, you thought, as you opened the door to the meeting room.

The space was practically empty, except for his boss, who was sitting at one end of the table. His dark eyes were fixed on the phone screen, his fingers typing some important email.

— You're late — he said, without looking up.

— Not everyone has a helicopter to get to work, Mr. Wolff.

Looking up at you, there was a certain skepticism in his expression.

— I don't use a helicopter, Y/N, I just value punctuality.

— Neither do I — you replied, as you walked towards the chair right next to his — But, fortunately, I don't risk losing my passport if I arrive two minutes late, unlike you, Toto.

He stared at you in silence, his eyes trying to figure out if that had been an elaborate attack or just another one of your sarcasm-filled phrases. Giving a small smile, you gave your boss the answer you were looking for in his expression.

— Well, now that you're here, I think we can start — he said, placing his cell phone on the table.

You glanced at the unoccupied chairs at the table before turning to him.

— But aren't we going to wait for the others?

— There are no others — your boss said, dryly.

— So…

— It's a matter between you and me, Y/N.

Your heartbeat was heavy in his chest.

—And what would it be about, Toto?

Grabbing the controller from the table, Toto pressed a button. On the wall opposite you, an image flashed on the television screen and, almost involuntarily, you let out a laugh.

— Do you want to talk about Jerôme? — you asked, smiling.

— I want to talk about your behavior this weekend. Especially in relation to Jerôme.

Your smile faded as you realized he wasn't joking. And the part that worried you the most was that you were sure you had done nothing other than what you had been instructed. “Accompany Jerôme and offer the help he needs during the weekend”, you remembered the email that had arrived in Singapore, along with the confirmation that Toto would not travel with the team to Japan.

— Did Jerôme report anything to you? — you asked, fearing the answer.

— No. I'm reporting right now — he replied, with his dark eyes fixed on yours — Your behavior was completely unacceptable, Y/N.

— But, I didn't do anything — you stuttered, confused.

— You did —Toto interrupted you — I saw it with my eyes, Y/N, no one needed to tell me.

—And what did I do? — you asked.

Your boss snorted, running a tense hand through his hair.

— You spent the weekend practically on top of him, laughing at his jokes, smiling at him and — he shouted — Being an adorable and fantastic woman and, damn...

The realization hit you like a punch.

— Did you call me here to say you are jealous? — you asked, still in disbelief at the simple possibility of him having done that simply because his ego was hurt. And Toto's expression was the confirmation you needed to be sure of that.

— Jealous — he laughed, to disguise his own discomfort — I'm not jealous.

— Yes, you are. You're jealous because I was an exemplary employee and helped him as you asked me to! — you exclaimed — I only did what you asked me to do.

— I don't remember asking you to be glued on him...

— You asked me to help him.

— If I had known you were going to do this, I would have canceled the fucking surgery.

— I could have done it during the summer break — you murmured.

— I already had plans, I couldn't cancel them.

You raised your eyebrow.

— Is fucking me on your yacht what you call a plan?

Toto looked at you, seriously. His jealousy wasn't completely unfounded, as you had crossed all lines of a professional relationship a long time ago, during one of the company's end-of-year parties. It only took a few mojitos and a suggestive comment about your cleavage for the two of you to end up in the bathroom, your knuckles white as Toto thrusted inside you.

— It was important — he murmured.

— The surgery was important too — you countered.

— And leave you there, doing whatever you want?

— As far as I know, I'm a free woman — you said, without blinking. It wasn't a lie, you were in fact free and officially single. What you had with Toto was just an affair, something without commitment, you weren’t dumb or innocent.

However, something in his eyes changed when he heard those words.

— What did you say?

— I'm a free woman, Toto — you repeated, as he got up from the chair, his expression almost dark — I'm single, I can easily flirt with whoever I want. And, to be honest, I don’t know why the hell I’m still here…

His voice trailed off as he realized he had stopped right behind your chair. And then, you felt his hand slide down your neck gently.

— You're not free, Y/N — Toto whispered in your ear — You stopped being free the day you stepped into my office for the first time.

Then, you felt him squeeze your neck, causing a wave of heat to spread through your body. There was no gentleness in his touch anymore. Just desire.

— You are mine. Just mine.

#toto wolff #wlffflashes #formula 1 fic #f1 fic #toto wolff x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader #toto wolff fanfic

[ltleflrt]

This whole backlash against printing fics irks the fuck out of me, and I got some shit to say about it. Mostly "Fuck You" but here's some nuance:

On the surface, I understand where the naysayers are coming from. It's a legitimate fear that making a profit from fanworks will bring down the C&D Hammer on fandom. I get that. Do not put on the One Ring, or you'll risk the Eye of Sauron.

But here's the thing. Fuck capitalism. Fuck digital only. We're living in the digital dark ages, and 100 years from now huge swathes of our history, fact and fiction, will be lost to our descendants because there will be no physical copies of our lives for them to find in old libraries and boxes in the attic, etc.

Creators deserve physical copies of their creations, and so do the other people in the world who love them.

I don't want to profit from letting people print my fics. That's why I use Lulu, since they have an option to set zero profit and make the links hidden so only fans in the know can get a copy. Other printing sites I've looked at in the past don't have those options. In fact, the first time I ever even thought about printing one of my stories was when I won NaNo for the first time and one of the prizes was a coupon for 3 free printings of your story. HELL YEAH, that's a copy for me, a copy for my beta, and a copy for the artist who made the cover for me. Perfect! But I ended up not using that coupon, because the site required I set a profit margin, and did not have an option to make it private. Ummm, no thanks. Not worth the risk. And even though the profit margin could be set as low as ten cents, I did not want to make ANY money from my fic, because I know that would be breaking Fair Use rules. I found Lulu instead, and decided to let other people get copies too, because I'm nice. And if I don't, it's not like I can stop them from doing it themselves, no matter how much I'd rather they not do that.

But that's not good enough for the Reporting Trolls. Their argument is that it's not possible for it to be completely profit free, since Lulu makes a profit on the printing costs and the shipping carriers make a profit off the shipping costs. Someone is making a profit, and that's unacceptable, even if that someone is not Me, The Person Who Made The Printing and Shipping Worth Paying For.

I would like anyone who thinks that to delete your accounts where you read fanfiction. AO3, Wattpad, FFNet, LJ, Dreamwidth, hell even Tumblr for the short ficlet stuff that only gets posted here. Because even if the website it self isn't profiting, (AO3 for example), the companies that sold them their server hardware made a profit. Since utilities are privatized, the electric company that runs those servers are making a profit. IF YOU PRINT IT ON YOUR PRINTER AND PUT IT IN A 3 RING BINDER, the paper, printer, and ink manufacturers made a profit from your dinky little print out. The companies that build all the parts for your computer or your smartphone made a profit on your portal to the internet, who profits from your monthly subscription, just like your electric company profits from the power it takes to run your pc or charge your phone battery. IT'S A SLIPPERY FUCKING SLOPE, AND YOU NEED TO LEARN WHEN TO BACK AWAY FROM THE LEDGE.

We live in a Capitalist Hellscape, and if a company could figure out how to charge you to breathe and for every single beat of your heart, they'd fucking do it. So get off your goddamn high horses with this "wELL SoMEonE iS makINg PrOFit" bullshit. Or if you truly believe that, shut off every account you own, turn off your utilities, and go live in the woods and make up your own goddamn stories, which you can only share orally to the local wildlife. They give kudos by biting you and giving you rabies.

(not to mention; these assholes don't go after fanartists who are ABSOLUTELY making a profit off their work. but noooo, Flirty can't format a fic for print and allow other people to pay for the printing service and shipping, while never seeing a penny of that herself, despite all of the GODDAMN WORK I HAVE PUT INTO IT, WRITING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE INCLUDED FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufucky--)

#ltleramblings #printed fic

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Florrickology, Part 4: Florrick, Wyll, Ulder, and Character Assassination

We all know it, we all hate it. They did my beloved dirty, used her to shit all over Wyll's quest at what should be a climactic moment, and I will never forgive never forget it.

In Act 3, if Wyll rejects Mizora's offer to rescue his father from the Iron Throne in favor of keeping his pact broken, Florrick will ambush the party, inform them that "Lady Mizora" told her what he did, and seek retribution unless talked down.

This is stupid, makes no sense, assassinates Florrick's character for no good reason, and represents some of Larian's laziest NPC writing--unsurprisingly, in the midst of Wyll's personal quest, and smack dab in what's supposed to be the climax of one of the longest quests in the game.

As I said in previous posts, Florrick being willing to go to the mat for Ulder any day or time of the week is consistent with her other characterization.

Up to the point of this confrontation, the player has observed that she'll follow Ulder to literal hell and back, chase him across half a continent, and become so disappointed in her perceived failure to save him and, by extension, the entire city, that she completely gives up and quietly awaits execution, without even trying to escape (which she probably could do, as a level 11, probably Enchantment School wizard).

All her voice lines and all the things others say about her paint the picture of a loyal and true-blue friend, and a public servant of the highest caliber, "as steady as Tyr's heartbeat" and "as upstanding as the Sword Mountains." She may be sharp and shrewd, and perhaps a bit domineering and curt, but she's not cruel. She may be a bit cavalier, but she's never rash.

She's not stupid. She may be more emotional than she seems.

She has killed someone before, on the spot, for coming after Ulder. It's consistent that she would do it again, even if she had to hunt them down this time and risk being caught by the Steel Watch. In her mind, she has nothing left to lose.

What is not consistent is her being willing to kill Wyll on a flimsy accusation (that she doesn't even really believe if you read her thoughts).

Now as I've mentioned, Florrick doesn't seem to feel any particular way about Wyll; she seems to regard him simply as her friend and boss' son, just a good kid she patted on the head at parades, and when they meet again in Waukeen's Rest, as a valuable asset in rescuing Ulder and saving the city.

And I like this! It highlights that Ulder was Wyll's entire world, and it was Ulder, alone, who failed him and cast him aside. I think this is also part of why there's never any indication that Florrick and Ulder are/were romantically involved, because this would change the expectations for how she treats/feels about Wyll. But as it stands, simply being a woman in the vicinity of a child, even one in need, didn't obligate her to be a mother.

And this the feeling is mutual. In-game, there's also no indication that Wyll had or desired had any sort of personal relationship with her, as he talks about her accomplishments but not, say, seeking her out for advice or spending time with her. He mentions crushing on Stellmayne, but when asked about Florrick, he goes right to "yeah she fucks, she sniped a guy right in front of me once." He only regards her in relation to his father and the city, never himself. She's his dad's confidant and advisor, and an exemplary public servant, but nothing in particular to him.

So, it's not how Florrick feels about Wyll that makes it out of character for her to attack him, but because of how she knows Ulder feels about Wyll.

She says herself, when talked down in that confrontation, that Ulder wanted her to find Wyll and pass his birthright on if he fell, because as many mistakes as Ulder made, and as wrong as he was, and as unacceptable as his behavior was, in the end, he trusted his boy with the fate of his beloved city.

So, Florrick would never betray Ulder by attacking his son, without irrefutable evidence, especially when she'd been told explicitly to trust and help Wyll by the person she respects and reveres the most in the entire world.

As one of the most prominent NPCs in the game, appearing with a fairly significant role in all three acts, and who's been demonstrated to be an unquestionable heroic figure all along, Florrick deserved better than what she got in this blatantly lazy, formulaic scene.

And that's the answer to the question of 'why is this scene so bad?' - lazy, formulaic writing.

That's also probably the answer to any 'why is this Act 3 moment and/or NPC interaction so clunky?' question. This confrontation is Like That because it's how every every NPC Confrontation is: someone is willing to kill you for variably logical reasons, unless you talk your way out of it, and the end result is only nominally different, so it was pointless from the jump. It's the illusion of drama and conflict and a plot twist, not real drama and conflict and plot twist. Of course she (andWyllcoughcough) isn't safe from the "uh oh this game isn't done but we're shipping it anyway so we better make this story beat messy, both under-and over-whelming, and confusing to match the overall tone of Act 3" curse.

So you might then move on to, "okay, well, what's the in-universe explanation for this? How can we make it make sense, considering what we know about Florrick?"

I won't give them credit for implying anything they didn't bother to imply, even though they could have gone several other routes with about 2 lines of better dialogue and a simple animation. So, I think the only true, canonical reason Florrick does this is exactly what's presented in the text. She was approached by "Lady" Mizora, a stranger, told a lie, only half-believed it, slapped a fuckass hood on over her very distinctive freakum dress, went on the hunt, and ambushed the party in front of like 50 human, 5 cat, and 3 Steel Watch witnesses even though she's a fugitive marked for execution.

That's it. There's no further context. Again, nothing implied. As you can tell by this entire series, I will read into anything, and there's simply nothing to read into here.

No indication that Mizora charmed or is controlling Florrick, a simple explanation that could have been easily been introduced with about 1 line, a special effect, and a mocap of her "snapping out of it."

No revelation that "Lady" Mizora has been posing as a patriar and pulling strings in Baldur's Gate for the last seven years, working closely with and maybe kissin haha jk... unless Florrick, making it perfectly reasonable why she'd believe Mizora over Wyll, who's been not only missing BUT cavorting with devils for those same seven years, which is ironic because Florrick had unknowingly been doing the same thing (juicy!). (more thoughts on this)

There's not even really a feeling that Florrick, who again did all that mentioned above for Ulder and her city, is simply just so heartbroken and grieving and demoralized that she's experiencing a mental breakdown and a critical lapse in judgement, grasping at anything to make it make sense or to make her feel in control again, even if she has her doubts deep down. Again, this could have easily been written in with a few lines and some body language. I feel like this is what they thought they did, but the fact is they didn't even though it would have been easy and cost basically 0 extra resources or time.

Clearly, this scene got rubber-stamped because they (painfully correctly) assumed that nobody would care about Wyll's storyline at this point, and his supporting character Florrick with it. They probably just figured that we'd all forget how wack it was when we continued the quest and got gagged by the Emporer being a gay dragon-fucker and also Balduran.

So, what would have made this scene/part of the quest better?

To be clear, better is a pretty low bar as the canonical version full-on sucks. The above suggestions are only what could have made this specific scene (Florrick Confronts Wyll About Killing His Father) better. But really, Wyll's quest, as we all know, needs an overhaul. So, below is what's overall needed to make Wyll's entire quest in Act 3 better.

maintain Florrick's characterization (this post is about Florrick after all)

give Wyll a chance to be a hero in his own story

actually utilize Mizora, who's truly been pretty pointless all this time

provide a sense of stakes--it has to matter what happens

get everything the fuck away from that fucking magic show

I had a whole alternative Act 3 storyline written to suggest, Boss Fight Mizora Avernus and all, but realized just before posting that it doesn't work because it ends with Wyll destroying his pact, and he does sort of need that to remain a warlock for the endgame (being forced to re-class at the 11th hour would be a bit of a bold move). But trust me it was cool and better than what we got.

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #florrickology #counsellor florrick #wyll ravengard #ulder ravengard #mizora #this one gets real tags bc it's an actual critique and not a simp post about her hips this time

[stjohnstarling]

As is often the case with mass platform actions against creators, who is and isn’t being removed from Patreon is inconsistent and confusing for creators. “When I woke up to this the other morning I got dragged into full panic attack mode and checked my email and Patreon account religiously,” Fang, a Patreon creator who wasn’t banned despite making content similar to what lots of other banned creators make—cute baby furries, dressed in diapers and baby clothing—told me. “As I'm writing this, the bans aren't over. Several other creators who we thought were safe have gotten hit. We don't know where it will end or how to protect ourselves.”  Patreon revenue pays his rent, Fang said, and if it were to be cut off suddenly, he wouldn’t know what would happen to his wife and family who depend on his income. “Being a creator is my job, and right now it feels like I could get fired for walking into work wearing the wrong color shirt one day.” 

This is completely insidious of Patreon. ABDL furries are a group of people almost perfectly chosen to be as socially unacceptable to defend as possible, and to seem ridiculous to the average person. Don’t let yourself get tricked by that. Everyone, especially queer artists and writers who rely on Patreon for income, should be concerned about this. This kind of thing will never ever start with the people you like.

#Original post

[malfunctioningmeatsuit]

most makeup is NOT art: let's face it

(DISCLAIMER: I am not judging the influencers as people and am assuming good faith. I am instead pointing out libfem nonsense. I do not think other women are vapid and shallow if they follow beauty trends, rather that the current culture surrounding makeup encourages women to conform and suppress. This is an attack on the system, not on women.)

<3

anyways...

Makeup culture has skyrocketed in popularity with the rise of talentless influencers, increasing backlash to patriarchy, and the onset of late stage capitalism. Elementary and middle school girls are doing one hour makeup routines before school. Women who criticize the beauty industry are getting called ugly and talentless.

As the makeup industry racks in more money and more women waste their time and money to hide their insecurities, there has also been a backlash from feminists surrounding makeup culture. Of course with every revolution there are reactionaries and these reactionaries have come up with all sorts of excuses and defenses to cope with or dismiss the exploitation of women with insecurities.

"I do it for myself"

"Criticizing makeup is criticizing women"

"You're such a pick me"

"Makeup is empowering"

"You're just trying to be not like the other girls"

"It makes me feel sexy"

"You just don't know how to do it"

All of these are very common defensive reactions which many other radical feminists have addressed. I am going to be addressing one I do not see talked about as much. I am going to be dissecting the notion that "makeup is art" and highlighting how absolutely untrue and ridiculous that idea is in our current world.

-

-

Look at these images.

These are the gold standard trendy looks worn by popular makeup influencers on TikTok, Instagram, and other social media platforms. These are women from multiple different cultures and ethnicities. Sadly, they've been dragged into a very toxic and misogynistic culture which masquerades as art.

Look at the faces. They all make the same expression, gazing longingly off into the distance or towards the camera. These are "acceptable" faces for women to make. It makes sense they're making those faces as natural smiles are condemned for being "too gummy" or because they "cause wrinkles."

Their makeup is virtually identical also. Their faces are completely caked with foundation and concealer. They make their lips look fuller because thin lips are considered ugly. They have completely buried any of their unique facial features beneath layers of chemical paste. No moles, no distinct hairs, no freckles, no anything. They've likely been told their natural faces are unacceptable.

This style of makeup is not only socially acceptable, but very palatable to patriarchy. Women are shamed for not conforming to this standard. This is the standard for women, made by patriarchy and capitalism and inspired by the male gaze. To say this makeup is art rather than propaganda intended to make women feel guilty in their natural face is an insult to art and to women. It is an insult also to actual makeup art.

-

-

Now look at these images.

These are incredible images I sourced from Instagram as well as google that show how makeup can be used to create powerful, fascinating, mind-boggling, and gorgeous works of art with the human face as a canvas.

Every single image is distinct. Between optical illusions, social commentary, homages to nature, and brilliant bursts of color, to say this isn't art would be objectively incorrect. The makeup in this art is bold, an expression of individuality, and even controversial. (Makeup that isn't for men's sexual gratification??? Makeup being used for art rather than as a coping mechanism??? Whaaaatt??)

The makeup here is a completely different species than the makeup worn by the influencer women in the first part of this post. Rather than hide their features with makeup for the sake of avoiding being ugly, they do it to play with the appearance of human anatomy. Rather than sexualize themselves, they paint mold and scars and eyes where they shouldn't be.

They revere their bodies and adorn their faces with bright colors out of a love for art and the human anatomy. They see their bodies as wonderful canvases in which they can express themselves on. They are painters rather than influencers. They care about creativity rather than wear makeup because they've been told they need to enhance their sex appeal.

-

-

Liberal feminists call makeup an art as a means of separating makeup from patriarchy because facing the misogynistic truth of beauty culture is a threat to their habits. They also only speak about the style of makeup on the left as art and dismiss genuine makeup art because it shows how toxic and removed from true art beauty culture makeup is.

Tragically calling makeup art is hardly even accurate given the reality of the culture. Makeup is rarely ever used for true artistic expression and for every one artful makeup account on social media there are hundreds of cut+paste beauty influencers. True makeup art is a statistical anomaly and makeup/beauty culture very much shuns genuine creatives.

In my opinion...

Makeup will only be an art when it is divorced from patriarchy.

Makeup will only be an art when true creatives aren't shunned and instead are the voices of the community.

Makeup will only be an art when it stops centering sex appeal.

Makeup will only be an art when women are allowed to opt out of it and men are allowed to enjoy it.

Makeup will only be an art when it is no longer used by women and girls who've been taught to hate their innate features.

Makeup will only be an art when no women feel pressured to do it.

#radical feminist #anti beauty culture #anti makeup #radblr #radfem #radical feminism #radfem safe #radical feminists please interact #beauty critical #radical feminist theory #radical feminist safe #radical feminist community

[unspokenlly]

IDOL AU! (Oshi No Ko AU) - Twisted Wonderland x Reader (Part 1)

(this post was inspired by @merakiui 's idol!darling au!)

[ reader is female ]

i'm not sure if anyone has heard of this manga (soon to be anime), but it's called Oshi No Ko! it involves an idol named Ai Hoshino who is a talented and beautiful idol (with starry eyes). however, she struggles with love as she herself has never loved nor has been 'loved' (this isn't a spoiler as it had been shown in the sypnosis before, but she was also pregnant with twins at the age of 16). she also says that a 'lie' or lying is a form of love as well which bring the thought of..

Idol! darling who is like Ai Hoshino. she is an exceptional idol who catches the hearts of many, alluring many with her eyes. however, she struggles to actually love despite saying she loves her fans. she dreams of wanting to love and wants her happiness to be true. imagine, twst cast getting their hearts captured by her charismatic self, but there are those who are also wary of her once they come to know that she has a (lot of) secret(s)..

i imagine a lot of twst cast would discover her secret but i'll just narrow it down to a few characters for now and give my two cents about them!

characters involved: azul, idia, vil, mentions of rook, riddle, cater, floyd, jade

warning: themes of yandere, teenage pregnancy, blackmail, stalkerish behaviours.

azul, who discovers there was something about her and the way she brings herself up. she was definitely talented. a beauty. someone who would be a great asset to future investments and businesses.. but what's this? he discovers that she's not what she seems to be? she's an idol made up of lies. who wears a mask of a perfect idol, to become the embodiment of pure? and a mother too? to twins? how very interesting! once azul discovers this and uses it against idol!darling, he thought he'd be able to use it as a means to pull her into a contract (blackmail) but instead, she smiles? 

"Oh, that's quite troublesome! Hehe, I guess you discovered that part of me, huh? Well.. yes, lying is morally and socially unacceptable but.." The way her eyes stared right into his, irises that twinkled like the stars above and orbs drawn like a glyph.. "In the eyes of many, idols are creatures who shine as bright as the cosmos, who love and are loved…" Oh, sevens. 

".. And I am an idol. Lying is a form of love too. An idol like me who's at the very top will keep on lying again and again so I can keep everyone from the stage happy!" Azul unknowingly gulped a bile from his throat, watching the idol who shined as if she was on the stage performing in front of him. 

"Still though.. For you to discover that I'm actually a mother… It's kinda depressing that the secret is out of the bag, but… no matter what, I'll still do whatever it takes to continue being an idol! I still haven't achieved my dream of being happy.. I'm quite greedy, after all."

And he was completely entranced. a victim to a siren's calls, except this one was made up of lies. 

for idia, i imagine the aspect he liked about her was her eyes the most. her cute disposition and how refreshing her personality was. even though she was a bit childish, there was something about her that was not at all childish. so when he found out she wasn't actually what she seemed to be, he thought he was gonna be repulsed by her 'fakeass' but it turns out he found himself falling for her more. like a character from a tragedy-tagged story, there was so much depth to her that he was just itching to find. 

idia was a genius. he can use any means to find her secrets. hacking into streets cameras to stalk her, finding out so many things about her that even fans wouldnt know but most of all… her biggest secret. for now though, he was satisfied. he had bought several merchandise of her to her lightsticks, mugs and even standee and perhaps, for now those were enough to keep him occupied of his growing love for her.

there was something about idol!darling that vil found himself suspicious about… he was in the shooting of a film, and there was darling who was casted as a side character for the movie. at first, he admits she was beautiful, even more so than the main protagonist of the film. so when he approached her out of pure curiousity and because of the memories of a certain hunter practically raving about an idol who caught his eye, he wasnt suprised (yet mildly disappointed) to find out that despite her beauty, her personality was unpolished. she spoke with no professionalism whatsoever. a bumpkin like epel.

however, she was a joyful one who always had a smile on. but that wasn't the biggest aspect of her whole person. she was like a present. waiting to be unwrapped to reveal what's inside. he felt that she had layers on her that she hid, but he didnt mind. idols, celebrities, the showbiz industry was like that after all. however, idol!darling was someone who shone with those layers. layers of appealing gift wrapping. and vil wondered if those lovely, hidden truths of hers will show what she truly is one day. would she still be shining like a star? as lovely as what everyone makes her out to be?

it's questions like those that left vil pondering if this were the thoughts that ran through rook's head as he sang poems and verses about the 'idol who was the reincarnation of the first star', never missing a concert or event that involved her. he wanted to scoff at himself, and perhaps blame rook for talking his ear off about this bumpkin of an idol. but who could blame vil when idol!darling is just so lovely.

riddle who became interested in idol!darling after he saw a few of his dormmates doing those strange dances to a video of an idol on-screen who was singing. after telling his dormmates off, he became curious at this idol with stars in her eyes rather than her music and performance. no, it was her own self that he became curious about. the following days after watching several videos about her and listening to her music, he started humming her songs while reviewing or stare long at his phone while wearing a set of earphones while he was sitting in the courtyard… alone, he thought until cater discovers him. cater, who had become a fan of idol!darling for a long time and had bought tickets for her upcoming concert. 

cater, who discovered the cute idol from his recommendations as his playlist was playing high-streamed music. who became fond of her for her appearances in entertainment shows or live audience games. her 'charming' personality that captured his heart. he would invite riddle and trey to the concert as he won an extra set of tickets for himself and his club members!

floyd and jade, who fell in love with her at first sight for her, well, everything! ever since they discovered her and came to know more about her thru those concerts they attend and videos they stream and watch,...there was something about her that they just oh so want to pick apart, but couldn't! her declarations of love always left a stuffy feeling in their heart.. in a dark, twisted, way. why, she is just so, so, lovely.. they never missed a show! never. even if it meant making a deal with azul for work. but nowadays, it seems they didnt even have to do so for azul would go with them to those events!

THIS TOOK ME ABOUT 3 HRS TO MAKE INCLUDING THE HEADERS AND BANNERS, THIS HAD BEEN IN MY HEAD EVER SINCE OSHI NO KO TRAILER CAME OUT and because the song 'Idol' by Yoasobi had come out (unofficially in Youtube). if you guys have any thoughts about this, feel free to send an Ask!

this is just part 1 of the au.

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #idia shroud x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #cater diamond x reader #floyd leech x reader #jade leech x reader #idol au!twst #oshi no ko!?au #enlly brainrot #enlly in twst

[marauderverse]

With Love// F.W x Reader pt.4

Summary: Y/n Dursley of number 4 Privet Drive hates her life. That was, of course, until the summer before grade 9, after an oddly charming redhead and his brothers helped her cousin escape. it was probably a good thing he forgot to return that key.

word count: 1.7k

The letter came one June afternoon.  

Y/n was on her way back from school, and her brother running off with his friends to do god knows what. 

Her father was at work, and her mother was out getting groceries. 

She had the house to herself and couldn’t have been more elated. 

A light tapping on the widow by the kitchen sink alerted her to the barn owl. 

She stood up, making her way over and tentatively taking the letter from its beak. 

Dursley family

Number 4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

She turned the letter over; sure, this was again a letter explaining what Hyginks Harry had gotten himself into this month. 

To her surprise, it was an invitation. 

Dursley Family,

You have been cordially invited to spectate the third and final task of the 1994/95 Triwizard Tournament. 

If you are to accept this invitation, we expect your owl no later than June 20th.

A representative will escort you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry at 11:30 am on June 24th.

We eagerly await your reply.

Yours sincerely

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

She grinned as she read the letter. She turned to the owl that was still perched on the window sill. 

“Can you just wait a moment?” She asked the owl; it simply blinked at her with its large eyes. 

She ran up to her room, grabbing a pen, paper and the owl treats from her room. 

She stopped at her kitchen table, quickly scribbling down a reply. 

Dear Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall

I would be delighted to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to spectate the 1994/95 Triwizard tournament.

The rest of my family will not be in attendance. 

Yours Sincerely

Y/n Dursley

Harry’s Favourite Cousin

She folded the paper in half. 

She gave the owl a treat before handing it the letter and watching it fly off into the evening sky. 

She grinned, excitement bubbling in her chest at the prospect of being able to see the magic school. She, a muggle (Which Harry would often call her to annoy her), surely this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 

Her spirits were high all evening; even her mother's nagging couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. 

“Why are you so happy?” Dudley had asked rather loudly. 

y/n shrugged. 

“It’s nothing, and even if it were, I wouldn’t tell you because you would just spoil it,” she shot back. 

“I would not,” he protested, face scrunching up and beginning to turn red. 

“Yes, you would; you always do. Remember my year four violin recital? I was so excited to show Mum and Dad what I had been working on, and the night before, you threw a tantrum because you didn’t want to go, and I had to miss my own recital,” she explained.

“I did not!” he was beginning to sound like an overgrown baby. 

“Or what about when I was thirteen? And I was having my friends stay the night for my birthday, and you didn’t want them in the house because you wanted to play your video games in peace, so you screamed and cried until I had to cancel my birthday,” she retorted. 

Dudley was on the verge of another one of his tantrums; she could feel it. His face was red as a tomato, and he breathed heavier than normal. 

“So no, Dudley, I’m not going to tell you why I’m so happy tonight,” 

“Mum!” Dudley wailed, throwing himself onto the ground.

Three seconds flat, and their mother was already by his side. 

“What’s wrong, duddies?” She cooed. 

“Y/n’s tormenting me,” he fake bawled. 

She turned her attention to her daughter. 

“What have I said about bullying your brother Y/n? You’re sixteen now; this is completely unacceptable behaviour,” She screeched. 

Y/n shrugged, turning around to make her way up the steps. 

“I ought to ask the Weasley twins for more of those magical toffees,” She said loudly enough for her brother to hear. 

She grinned at the genuine scream of terror he let out at her words. 

She didn’t have to wait long for a reply from the deputy headmistress. 

It was the Saturday of the same week the letter had initially arrived. This time it was delivered directly to her. 

Y/n Dursley 

First Room to the Left

Second floor 

Number 4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

Dear Miss Dursley,

We appreciate your timely reply. 

Due to the nature of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, it is pertinent that a witch or wizard must escort all Muggle Family Members. 

A representative will arrive at precisely 11:15 a.m on the 24th of June and escort you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where you will be able to spectate the third and final task of the 1994/95 Triwizard tournament. 

If you have any questions or further enquiries, please don’t hesitate to contact me. 

Yours sincerely

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

She grinned at the letter in her hands, an excitement she hadn’t felt before making its way to the surface. 

She couldn’t help the slight squeal of excitement from her lips. 

It seemed the morning of June 24th couldn’t come fast enough. 

She hadn’t told her parents what was happening, fearing they would lock her away in her room or something just as horrible. 

By some good fortune, everyone in her household was out that Friday.

Her father was at work, her brother at school and her mother was out with her friends for brunch. 

Three loud knocks echoed through the silent house. 

Y/n jumped up from the couch, swinging the door open. 

“Hello Y/n,” 

She was slightly taken aback by the man standing before her, but a wide grin cracked across her face. 

“Mr Weasley, it’s good to see you. I take it you’re my escort to Hogwarts?” She questioned. 

Mr Weasley nodded his head. 

“That’s right when McGonnagll told me you wanted to watch Harry in the last trial, I immediately volunteered myself.” 

She smiled bashfully at him. 

Stepping out into the warm June morning, she clutched the bouquet of flowers she got her cousin, Mr Weasley instructed her to grip his arm tightly and not let go. 

Hesitantly she did as she was told. 

In less than five seconds, they were standing in a little village she did not recognise, considerably more nauseous than she was a moment ago. 

“What the hell was that?” She asked, willing herself not to throw up. 

Mr Weasley let out an amused laugh.

“Sorry, I often forget Muggles aren’t used to magical travel,”

Y/n took a second, dropping the bouquet to the ground and inhaling deeply, placing her hands on her knees.

“Are you alright?” He asked, now slightly concerned for the girl. 

She dry heaved a few times, willing herself not to throw up in front of Mr. Weasley. Eventually, the bout of nausea left, and she could stand up straight once more. Collecting the flowers she had thrown aside.

“Okay, we are all good to go,” She smiled. 

Mr. Weasley was still wearing a concerned expression, but he nodded in understanding.

"Sorry about that. Apparition can be a bit disorienting for those who aren't used to it. But you handled it well," he said with a friendly smile.

Y/n chuckled nervously, "Yeah, well, it was definitely unexpected."

As they walked towards the magical carriages that would take them to Hogwarts, Y/n couldn't contain her excitement. The whole wizarding world was still a mystery to her, and she was eager to learn more.

“What's it like?” She began, “I ask Harry all the time but he won’t tell me anything interesting, he mostly just talks about quidditch and his classes and stuff. Are there any rules I should know about?"

As they settled into one of the carriages, Y/n couldn't help but be curious about Mr. Weasley's world. "And what about the Ministry of Magic? How does it work? Are there laws that everyone must follow?"

Mr. Weasley nodded, happy to elaborate. "Yes, indeed. The Ministry of Magic oversees magical law in Britain. We have various departments, such as the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, etc. Laws ensure the proper use of magic and protect the magical and non-magical communities."

Y/n absorbed the information, fascinated by the intricacies of the wizarding world. As they continued their conversation, Mr Weasley expressed his interest in the Muggle world.

Before she even knew it they had stopped; Mr. Weasley stepped out first and helped y/n down from the carriage. 

She turned, excitement bubbling in her chest. This was it; she was finally going to see the place Harry held so dear to his heart. The place she had envisioned for four years. 

But to her dismay, ruins stood staring back at her. It was a dilapidated building that was unfit for anyone to inhabit, never the less than 300 witches and wizards from across the country. 

“Uhm, Mr. Weasley?” She began jogging to catch up to him as she realised he had begun walking up the path towards the ruins. “Are we in the right place?”

Mr. Weasley stopped and turned to look at the girl, a look of confusion on his face. 

“Yes, of course we are, my dear,” he turned back and continued to walk. 

y/n hesitated for a moment. 

“It’s just, is this like a trick or something?” she couldn’t help the question. 

Mr. Weasley paused for a second, a look of realisation dawning on his face. 

“I’m so sorry, I completely forgot,” Turning to look back at the ruins “, There are enchantments and all sorts of muggle-repelling charms put in place, you know, to keep from prying eyes. But I assure you, my dear, the castle is here, and once we are past those, you'll be able to see it as if you were a witch yourself.”

Excitement rose in her chest at those words. She was here; she was going to see it. 

One moment, it was ruins; the next, it was a magnificent and imposing castle. 

y/n was breathless. 

Maybe it was her imagination, but she swore she could feel the magic around her.

tagged : @aki-ham @ashdoctor

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #harry potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter imagine #fred weasly x reader

[oddballwriter]

Made with Love

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Summary: A blurb where you cook Steven some traditional hispanic food because he's curious about how it tastes. 

Warnings: No actual warnings that I actually know of. Reader is meant to be read as hispanic or be of some hispanic/latin background. Steven centric but Marc and Jake are also mentioned.  

Author’s Snip: Listen I just wanted to make something kinda cute and wholesome that also involves a bit of some culture that I have from my hispanic/Mexican heritage, I also just wanted to fully embrace latino Jake because I just wanted to.

Notes: I'm not translating the dishes just look it up if you don't know what they are. Also this wasn't proof read before posting 

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

One of Steven's, and the rest of the system's, favorite things after a long day of working is coming home to your cooking. You taken on the role of being the one to make dinner after you saw that the boys could barely scrape together good food for themselves thanks to their short free time and deemed their boy dinners unacceptable.

You had a knack for making their favorite foods and keeping track of their varying palates and preferences. Of course there was Steven being vegan, but the other two had their own preferences. Marc didn't really have much of any preferences but you did find that he was a big fan of the french onion soup recipe that you make.

Jake wasn't all that picky either since he hardly came out and would just eat left overs. But after a while you found that he loves himself some hispanic foods, and by god were you happy to accommodate. When he came back from missions he would usually crash on the bed and let the others wake up in the body afterwards, but you would somehow figure out that he's the one fronting and make him some traditional dishes which he couldn't help but stay just to eat it.

You made him all kinds of dishes. Tamales. Pollo y arroz con mole. Chilaquiles. Ceviche con tostadas.

You did feel a bit bad since you knew Steven didn't like meat. But Jake would beg you to make the dishes how they're usually made, which commonly involves meats, and Steven never held it against you if you did feed Jake using the traditional recipes.

Though Steven did mention that he always wondered what they tasted like. Just he's had a vegan taco but at this point everyone in the world's had a taco and the like. He wants to try the food that actually comes from and is made with their original recipes. But he knew that hispanic food often had meat in it and he didn't want you to have to go through the trouble of making a new recipe just because of him.

But when Steven set aside his bag, took off his coat, and sat down at the table he found what looked like food that was intended for Jake. It was what he learned was called ceviche and tostadas, which often contained shrimp. He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it.

"Don't worry. It's completely vegan." you smile. "Love," he mutters, "Thank you. But you really didn't have to go through all this trouble just to make me something tha-" he continues, but you stop him again.

"It wasn't that troublesome. It's the same process. I just changed the shrimp out for something else." you explain. "But," you add, raising your finger. "That's the only thing I changed about it. Everything else is authentic to the original, like you said whenever you mentioned you wanted to try some food, so I held back no spices." you warn.

Steven smiles and nods as you go and grab some drinks before sitting in your chair. "Thank you then." he chirps. "I know that it shouldn't be that spicy. At least by Jake's standards since he douses his in hot sauce." Steven comments. You giggle, "I always tell him that if he wants something spicy then I can just make him aguachile." you remark.

As it turns out Steven held up just fine and even said that he enjoyed how much flavor the dish had to it with an added"I understand why Jake likes it so much.".

#moonknight #moon knight #moon knight x reader #moonknight x reader #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #hispanic reader