#which is again why i am not interested in engaging
Note
I’d love a story with sick Angie (it doesn’t matter what it is) with the emphasis on Jonah as her caretaker. And I’d love it if you could write about what Jon said in that vertigo fic, were Luke was the only caretaker, about feeling like he doesn’t know Angie.
Hi there! I had a lot of fun typing this up, it's a bit more tender than my usual stuff, since Jonah's is slightly off his element!
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There were things Jonah knew how to do: read Leo like a book, feel Wendy’s annoyance from across a room, suture a wound with an eye closed. And then there were things that he didn’t…
Currently the issue was understanding what was going through his little sister’s mind.
It hurt to say out loud, but Angie was half family, half stranger. She had been only ten when Jonah left for college, however during five of those ten years they supposedly shared, he had been away in boarding school, coming home only three times a year. In sum, he had truly known Angie only for five of her seventeen years.
It had been a pleasant surprise to learn she didn’t think of him as some stranger, but as her brother, and that she wanted them to be close. Or, as Leo had put, “Jon, she worships you.”
Since Christmas last year, they had been chatting much more frequently and she had come over to Welton at the end of January, staying over at Jonah and Leo’s place for three days.
This time around she was supposed to stay all week, which Jon was equally nervous and excited about.
“I’m the one who should be nervous,” Leo had joked as they drove to pick Angie up at the airport, “not you.”
However Jonah was nervous, because despite never wanting to say this out loud — and not needing to, Leo knew it already — he was terribly invested into making this new relationship work out.
Normally Angelina was a bubbly, chatty teenager, never quite managing to contain her excitement. During her last visit, she had pestered JD so much that the cat had all but vanished during her last day over, hiding in Leo’s side of the closet.
Tonight she was sullen and Jonah was nearly crawling up the wall trying to figure out what had changed.
After picking her up at the airport, they had opted for having dinner in Portland instead of doing the full one hour and a half drive back to Welton without eating. Dinner had gone smoothly, Angie was a little quieter than usual, but Jonah had jolted this as her giving Leo time to gush about the proposal, something she seemed very interested in. Her whole face had lit up as she saw the engagement ring and she had pushed her chair closer in order to inspect it, pulling Leo into a hug that had the blonde’s face turning beet red, much to Jon’s amusement.
The drive back had been even more quiet.
“Why don’t you connect your phone with the radio, Angie?” Leo asked, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He was mortified of getting carsick in front of his future sister-in-law, so he had insisted on driving both ways, “pick some music for the ride.”
“No, it’s fine…” Angelina answered, curling up on the backseat, “I think I’m just gonna nap, if you don’t mind…”
“No, that’s alright,” Jonah turned on the passenger seat, “there must be a neck pillow stuffed behind my seat, is it there?”
“Yeah,” she retrieved it and kicked off her sneakers, spreading out in the back, “thanks, Jon.”
He turned back to face the road. Something was off and he wasn’t sure what.
“Relax,” Leo poked his side, a couple minutes later, whispering, “chill.”
“I am chill,” Jonah lied, not putting any effort behind it and once again looking over his shoulder, to where his sister had curled up in the backseat.
They got home without a hitch, Leo had put on one of his ultra romantic songs and was drumming along with Michael Bolton’s Missing You Now, much to Jonah’s eternal amusement. His fiance couldn’t keep up with the beat if they paid him.
“Baby I just can't wait! Till I see your face,” Leo leaned in to sing to him, as they parked, a cheeky smile on his face, “chase awaaay this loneliness insideee!”
Jonah snorted, shutting him up with a kiss, “oh God, shut up, Leo,” his cheeks heated up as the song ended and the initial lyrics of the When A Man Loves a Woman started playing, Leo getting ready to serenade him, pointing at Jon’s chest as he said, “When a man loves a woman. Can't keep his mind on nothin'else-”
“Leeeeo,” Jonah groaned, pushing his door open, but not getting out. Instead he turned on his seat to shake Angelina awake. He half expected her to be awake and giggling at the whisper concert Leo was making, but no, she was still sleeping soundly, “Angie. Angie, we’re here.”
It took him shaking her once more, before she woke up, looking completely lost for a minute.
“Where-”
“Let’s go inside so you can sleep in a proper bed,” Jonah circled the car, helping her out and raised his eyebrows, letting out a surprised noise when Angie collapsed against him and made no movement to pull away. He hesitantly lowered his arms around her in a makeshift hug, unsure of what to do.
Leo grinned at him, getting out of the car as well and going to retrieve Angie’s bags.
She barely let go of him, putting only enough distance that they were able to walk to the elevator, but snuggled back once they were inside. Jonah felt like his face was tingling and he couldn’t bring himself to meet Leo’s eyes, extremely embarrassed.
This time around, Angelina paid no mind to JD. The cat came running to greet them at the door, only to stop once she saw the girl and sniffling her suspiciously, serpentining between Angie’s legs and settling for meowing at Leo’s feet as if asking who this was.
Jonah fully expected his sister to grab JD like she had done last time, but instead she only yawned and waited patiently as he guided her to the guest room.
“You know where’s everything, right?” Jonah hung awkwardly at the door, once Leo put the bag inside and Angie sat down on the bed. She yawned again, nodding.
“Yeah…”
“There’s extra towels in the bathroom if you feel like taking a shower,” Jonah grimaced at his inability to sound as warm as he was supposed to, “and you don’t have to ask to go through the fridge…”
“I’m fine, Jon, thank you,” Angelina dismissed him easily, “I think I’m just gonna sleep, though.”
“Okay…” he glanced at the television, “there’s Netflix and Prime and Max-”
“Jon,” Leo grabbed his elbow, chuckling, “let the girl sleep. Goodnight Ange.”
“Goodnight,” Angie smiled at them, clearly agreeing with Leo and Jonah sighed, relenting and allowing the blonde to pull him out of the guest bedroom.
“It’s only nine o’clock,” Jonah complained as they entered their own bedroom, Leo already ahead of him in the bathroom, stripping for a shower. They were both still in work clothes, “what type of teenager falls asleep at nine?”
“Your sister’s type,” Leo shrugged, getting under the shower stream, “relax Jon, she’s probably just tired after the flight.”
Jonah didn’t quite believe that.
They ended up going to bed around eleven, so Jon was surprised when he woke up at only 6 AM, an hour before his alarm. He wasn’t sure why he was up. It was a Thursday, which meant Leo had court and would start working later, but would also be held up until whatever hour. The blonde was passed out next to him, head buried in the pillow.
Jon’s shift only started at 9…
He yawned, rubbing a hand over his face and getting up to pee. He was getting back in bed, when a noise down the hall caught his attention. Something falling?
It wasn’t JD, because the cat was happily asleep on Leo’s side.
Jonah got out of the bed to investigate and wasn’t surprised when he found the guest bedroom door open, or the guest bathroom door closed. He knocked on it softly, “Angie, you alright? I heard something falling…”
“Urgh…” was the pitiful answer he got, “Jon…”
Well, shit.
“Can I come in?” he asked nervously, biting the skin of his thumb, “Angie?”
“Hmmm…yeah…”
Jonah didn’t wait for an answer and pushed the door open.
Angelina was really skinny with long limbs, like a model, and currently she was folded like an origami project in front of the toilet. Her rich, dark skin looked damn near ashen, and she had a trembling hand on the porcelain, the other pressing to her lips.
“Don’t… I don’t feel good…”
“Oh darling,” Jonah sighed, feeling a selfish wave of relief wash over him at finally being able to pinpoint what was wrong and that it wasn’t him. He crouched down, “have you been sick yet?”
Angie shook her head, gulping down, “soon…” she leaned in, squeezing her eyes shut, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- To-” she got interrupted by a hiccup and Jonah scoffed, scooting closer so he could rub her back.
“Don’t apologize, it’s all right,” he cringed as he realized her really long, curly hair was getting near her mouth. They didn’t have a single scrunchie in their place.
At Bella’s advice, or rather, order, they had stocked the guest bathroom with pads, just in case — that had been an interesting little grocery trip, given neither of them had any idea of what they were doing and Leo looked positively mortified —, but the ginger hadn’t said anything about hair ties.
“Jon-” Angie whined, oblivious to his thoughts and leaning further over the toilet. Another sick hiccup shook her entire frame, this one turning into a gag at the end and Jonah cringed as he saw clear saliva hit the water.
“You’re okay,” he carefully pulled his sister’s hair back with one hand, the other staying firmly on her back, “just get it up, don’t fight it-”
She retched once more, before getting up to her knees, and burying her head in the bowl as vomit gushed out. The movement was so sudden that Jonah had to move as well, so he wouldn’t pull on her hair.
He gagged as he heard the horrible noise of his sister bringing up last night’s dinner, his stomach souring considerably as she pulled back, clumsily trying to flush, with vomit clinging to her bottom lip still.
“God-” Jonah pulled back the hand that was on her back, slapping it over his lips and biting down a retch of his own. Angelina let out a little hurt noise, much like JD did when they accidentally tripped on her.
“I’m sorry-” his voice came out husky, “shit, Angie, I’m sorry-”
“You’re sick too?” she managed to flush and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, causing Jonah to gag once more. He shook his head, gulping convulsively to keep his stomach in check.
He was so used to Leo, that someone else puking around him was news to his body. The routine was different, the noises too. Worse.
“No, I just-” Jonah cleared his throat, “I get sympathy sick.”
“Oh,” Angie’s big chocolate eyes were dazed and he suspected she was burning up a fever, “I’m sor-”
“Are you done?”
“I dunno,” she rubbed her stomach, uneasily, “don’t wanna risk going to bed and- And getting sick…”
“We can sit on the couch and watch TV,” Jonah offered, getting up to grab her a glass of water and Angie took it with her hands shaking. Jon took advantage of the fact her hands were busy, in order to feel his sister’s forehead.
Surprisingly, she didn’t flinch or pull back at the sudden touch, leaning completely on it. She was really warm.
“Not a high fever, but a fever,” he pulled back after a second, as Angie gulped down the water and hung over the toilet once more, letting out a sickly burp, “you’ll be okay on your own for a second?”
“Uh-hu,” she nodded, gagging but not bringing up anything. Jonah rushed out before his stomach decided to join the party as well.
He put together a little nest in the living room, grabbing her a set of blankets and a pillow, a bowl, meds, water and thermometer. After a couple minutes he heard the bathroom flush and the tap running, Angelina brushing her teeth, then she stumbled in the living room.
“Come lie down,” he pulled her to the couch, unsure of what she liked when sick. To be left alone or dotted on? So far the dotting was proving successful, but Jon was scared at any minute she’d snap at him. Or worse, cry.
Instead of doing either, Angelina curled up on the little nest he had created for her, tugging on his arm so he’d sit alongside her and then scooting up, resting her pillow half on his leg, “I feel horrible, Jon…”
“I’m sorry, darling,” the nickname slipped out, as he stroked her hair back and Jonah froze for a second, but Angie didn’t seem bothered in the least. In fact, she cuddled up even more, turning on her side and shivering, “I need to take your temperature,” he said, leaning to grab the thermometer and passing it to her.
He was genuinely surprised by how easy of a patient Angie was, after dealing with Leo and their friends for years now. They were a crew of stubborn people, while his baby sister seemed to be the most docile person ever.
She took the thermometer without complaining and didn’t whine when he fed her medicine, barely paid any attention to the television, seeming content just cuddling and shivering like hell, no matter how many blankets she had.
“Jon,” Leo woke him up, pressing a kiss to his temple, and Jonah realized he had drifted back to sleep with Angie’s head resting on his lap. It was hard not to feel sleepy when she was a little furnace, “you okay?”
“Uhm?” he rubbed his eyes and frowned. Leo was almost finished dressing for the day, which meant it was nearly 9 already. His tie wasn’t done and Leo was holding a coffee mug.
“What happened…?” Leo gestured to their current situation and Jonah darted out a hand, so his fiance could help him slip from under Angie without waking her up. The young girl only stirred, grimacing and curling up even more.
“Woke up with her throwing up at 6 AM,” Jonah whispered, following Leo to the kitchen and sitting by the counter, while the blonde got the coffee maker working, “I’m gonna have to call in sick at work.”
He wasn’t happy about that, Jon was on a quest to not miss any more work days, since he’d take the month off for honeymoon, probably at the end of the year or as soon as they stopped to settle on a bloody date.
“I’ll do it for you,” Leo planted a mug of coffee in front of him, squeezing Jonah’s shoulder, “should I worry?”
“No,” Jonah yawned, leaning to rest his head on Leo’s shoulder, “she’s alright, it’s just a 24 hour bug.”
“I don’t like this,” Leo sighed, “I’m going to be offline all day, I have no way of knowing-”
“I’m the doctor,” Jonah said smugly, grabbing the blonde’s chin, “I can handle one sick teenager. Relax.”
“Look who’s talking,” Leo smiled at him, rolling his eyes, “text me updates anyway, alright?”
“Yes, sir,” Jon’s tone was sassy, but he meant it. He yawned in his fist, pulling Leo closer by his tie and starting to do the knot for him, “you’re gonna be back for dinner?”
“I’ll try to,” Leo wrinkled his nose, “but I doubt. You think she’d like balloons? Popsicles?”
“She’s seventeen, not five,” Jonah snorted, lifting himself up on his seat enough to kiss him, “bring us something yummy for dessert.”
Once Leo had left, promising he’d not forget to call the hospital to let them know of Jonah's absence, Jon had nothing but time to dedicate to his sister. It was so weird.
He took a shower to get ready for the day and fixed her up with some soup — well, ordered some soup —, then crouched down in front of the couch, pushing a curl away from her forehead, “Angie. Ange,” he shook her gently, “Angelina.”
“Uhhm?” She still had a fever, he could tell. The previous round of meds had lowered it, but not eradicated it, “what time is it?”
“Almost eleven,” he helped her sit up, “how’s your tum- stomach?” he was going to kill Leo.
Angie frowned, yawning, “sore. Kinda queasy,” she blushed, “did you say tummy?”
“No,” Jonah scoffed, sitting on the foot of the couch, “I got you some soup, think you can handle it?”
She hesitated, before nodding. Jonah eagerly shot up, he hadn’t been expecting a positive answer, and put everything on a tray, the soup, bread, some water and juice because he didn’t know what she preferred…
“I’m sorry, I don’t know your favorite flavor, so I just ordered mine,” Jon grimaced, settling the tray down on Angie’s lap.
She squinted at it, “is it pumpkin?”
“Yeah, and some chia seeds,” Jonah looked away, “Leo hates it, so we have plain tomato soup if you do too-”
“No,” Angelina shook her head, “I like it. My favorite is onion cream, just so you know,” she curled up her feet, in an invitation for him to sit closer and stirred the warm meal, “but I don’t think I could handle it right now.”
“I don’t think so either,” Jonah mentally stashed the information in his growing file of facts about his sister. So far he knew she really loved anything artsy, that she was attracted to Wendy’s colorful clothes and style like a butterfly to a flower, that she adored cats and that she got quiet and withdrawn when sick, “uh- Do you like popsicles…?”
Angie giggled, rolling her eyes, “doesn’t everyone?”
Well shit, he’d have to apologize to Leo.
“I don’t,” Jon shrugged and she frowned, starting to eat very slowly.
“Are you a robot?” Angelina inspected him up and down, “no type of popsicles?”
“I’m partial to gelato,” Jon shrugged, “or frozen yogurt.”
She shook her head in a tired manner, reaching for the juice instead of the water, “you’re so very weird, Jon…” then she frowned, blinking slowly as if trying to process some information, “don’t you have work today?”
Originally, Angie had planned to visit the museums and the university, that was the guise behind her visit. At least to Jonah it was, he was pretty sure she had openly told Leo she just wanted to visit them.
“I called in sick,” Jon pointed at her bowl, “staying down?”
“Yeah,” she yawned, “but it’s a lot.”
“You don’t have to eat all of it. Get as much as you want, then we can watch something or you can go back to sleep-”
“Can we go out to the park? With JD?”
He paused, “aren’t you sick?”
“I’m not dying,” Angie pouted, “and I already won’t be able to do everything I had planned so…”
“Yeah, uh- Sure. I don’t know where Leo keeps her leash, he’s the one who walks her, I just- I have to look…” He felt so incredibly out of place, “yeah, lemme go look-”
JD let out an indignant meow at being trapped in her leash and swatted at his hand with all little kitty force, trying to draw blood. Jonah sighed, scratching the kitten behind her ears, “I’m sorry, but you’re gonna take one for the team and be a good kitty.”
The cat didn't feel like being nice and once they got outside, walking to one of the benches since Angie got breathless not even five minutes after they left, JD simply crawled up Jon’s lap and tried to hide in his coat.
“She’s not outdoorsy at all, is she?” Angie grinned, leaning on his shoulder and trying to pet the animal, JD pointedly ignoring her. Jonah shrugged, leaning back and enjoying the fresh air.
“She’s a bit of a prick just like me,” he answered truthfully, hissing as he felt JD’s claws sink through his sweater, “she’ll get used to you.”
“I hope so,” Angie sighed, leaning against his side and resting her face on his shoulder, uninvited. She was so… Tactile. Clingy, even. Jonah pressed his cheek to the top of her head, “I hope she’ll grow to love having me around.”
He had the distinct feeling she was no longer talking about the cat. Jonah rolled his eyes, kissing the top of Angie’s head, “I’m certain she will, darling.”
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you wanna ramble about some of your visions of the little guys? because i would Love to hear <333 (also feel free to ignore this if you don't want to, haha!!!)
thank you so so much for sending this ask ily <333 and I am. so so so sorry this started out as just a short stating of facts but then it began to lead a life of its own (uh cw for animal death)
ok for background info I’ve got this post here with a character list doc etc but it’s not really necessary to understand this
anyway I’ll be talking about sita (tag) bc I love her <3
in the kyoshi novels it’s said that all air nomads are benders but I think that’s stupid. there definitely are air nomad non-benders but they’re uncommon and generally don’t live in the temples.
sita is one of those non-benders. as she grows up in the eastern air temple, she practices the katas and fighting style just as hard as the other kids—maybe even harder—but no matter how hard she tries, she cannot get the air to move as it does for her peers. she feels like an outsider. there’s one other non-bender girl there, but she’s a few years older. they play together a lot, and it helps, but when the girl leaves to travel the world, sita is left behind, and she feels more alone than she ever has before.
she knows it’s not the fault of the her friend or other nuns, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. so one day, when she just can’t take it anymore, she stuffs her bag with food and all the airbending scrolls she can find (she cannot kill the hope inside her that maybe if she practices hard enough…). she gets her bison and flies away.
(she’s sixteen.)
she tries to find her old friend, but she could be anywhere. so she explores the world, and she’s happier than she’s been in a long time.
however, one day, her bison gets sick. she’s camping somewhere on an island in the fire nation, but no one there knows how to help her. she sets out toward the eastern air temple, but as they’re flying over the sea, they get caught in a storm. she worries they’re not going to survive, but by some stroke of luck, they get rescued by a bunch of seafarers on a ship called the ziyou. they’re friendly, and the captain promises to take care of them for as long as they need, but sita was right about one thing. her bison doesn’t survive.
taituk, the captain, promises they’ll drop her off at the nearest port, but.
she has no reason to go to the air temples now. it would only stir up painful memories. and her chances of finding her old friend, alone in the earth kingdom, on foot, are practically zero. she thinks about it.
she knows the crew she had initially thought to be regular seafarers are pirates. but they’re not like what she has heard about pirates. when she experiences a raid (she isn’t expected to participate and can just hide in the room she’s been staying in) she listens anxiously. she can hear taituk give the crew a sort of pep talk, and hears them tell the crew, with the practised ease of someone who has given a speech a thousand times before, to not hurt anyone unless absolutely necessary. “surrender and no harm will come to you,” she hears taituk call out to people on the other ship. and when the merchant ship’s captain surrenders, they follow through on their word.
she gets to know the crew. she learns about their motives, how they’re all outcasts, how they only attack the ships of rich merchants or other pirates, how most of them turned to piracy because there was no other option, to feed themselves and in some cases their families too.
maybe, sita thinks, she can figure out how to make this work.
—
sita’s been on the ziyou for almost two years. she’s gotten good at incorporating the fighting skills she’s learned on the ship into the air nomad fighting style she has such extensive knowledge of. she learns she has a talent for using projectile weapons—though nisha remains the best with throwing knives, she’s easily the second best, and her handiness with a bow and arrows more than makes up for it. she’s decent with a spear too, though she’s more defensive with it than the girl who teaches her, aki, would like.
(the cook, chusak, offers to teach her his weird fighting style of throwing pans at people, but she turns him down. that’s just weird and impractical and more often than not leaves people with bruises, concussions, or broken bones. well, she doesn’t need to learn to use every possible projectile weapon.)
she might not be able to bend air like she had always wished (and still wishes) she could, but as she pins an enemy to the mast with nothing more than a flick of her wrist or the release of a taut bowstring, or feels the salty wind ruffle her hair as she stands in the crow’s nest, she finds she doesn’t mind her lack of bending as much as she used to. she’s made peace with it.
she’s still shocked, though, when one day during a raid (the captain refused to surrender, proud as the beifongs he works for), she looks over her shoulder and sees a woman floating several feet above the deck. her eyes are closed and her long hair whips in the wind, and while she’s wearing earth kingdom clothing and doesn’t have any tattoos, there’s no way she’s not an airbender.
“what’s an airbender doing on a ship like that?” she muses to taituk as they’re hauling boxes of loot onto their own ship. “she must be powerful. to lift yourself into the air and create a storm like that takes a lot of strength.” (no one knows, of course, that was the avatar state, and they don’t realise it for a long time.)
“well, whatever the case, we’re lucky chusak knocked her out,” nisha grumbles. she turns to show the two of them a nasty-looking gash on her shoulder. “she almost got me with one of her own knives.”
taituk pulls a face. “ouch. well, better go see mallik, then.” nisha rolls her eyes and grumbles something sarcastic before walking off, but before sita can tease taituk about being “romantic” (she doesn’t have proof yet, but she knows!), taituk says, frowning, “iraluq said they seemed scared, though. the airbender I mean. scared and confused, as they threw up their arms and knocked her ice daggers away. as if they didn’t know what they had what they done or how.”
sita’s still pondering that over a few hours later, when she hears shouting on the other side of the ship. she rushes there to investigate. she makes her way through the crowd that has gathered on the deck. “what’s happen–”
she falls silent as she sees the airbender standing pressed against the wall, terrified.
“everyone give us some space!” taituk calls. “go on with what you were previously doing. nothing to see here.”
“what happened?” sita whispers to nuvuja, who’s, for some reason, is opening all the crates they had gotten from the raid and checking their contents.
nuvuja’s reply is brisk. “xuan managed to accidentally kidnap a person.”
“how?!”
nuvuja slams the crate she’d been rummaging through shut and opens the next one. “he was supposed to help check the loot but got lazy. just carried crates onto the ship without checking if their contents were the same as the labels. and apparently the airbender fell into a crate of rice when she got knocked out by chusak. lid slammed shut. we just found out while getting stuff for dinner.”
she grimaces as she looks over at the airbender. taituk is speaking to her softly, and while she looks less scared than before, her eyes are full of tears. “poor girl,” nuvuja murmurs. “we’ve got no clue where her ship is now. stranded on a ship in the middle of the sea with a bunch of pirates. she must be terrified.”
sita thanks nuvuja, and walks off to join taituk. maybe she can help.
—
apparently the airbender—hira—does not, in fact, know she is one. or she didn’t, until now. she and sita become fast friends. sita’s a friendly presence, a reassuring constant in the scary period waiting hira’s caught in until they reach land.
“I guess I should go to one of the temples, huh?” hira says a few days after her arrival on the ship. she tries for humour, but sounds breathless. scared. “if I want to learn”—she hesitates for a moment—“bending.”
she’d been both scared and elated to learn she was a bender. apparently she’s grown up as an orphan with no knowledge of her heritage.
“I can try to teach you some stuff, if you want,” sita offers.
hira’s eyes widen. “you’re an airbender too?!”
sita tries to keep the bitterness out of her voice. “no.” she tries for a smile. “but I grew up in the temples, so I know a few things.”
(she knows more than a few things.)
—
it’s weird, teaching someone to bend when sita can’t herself, but they make it work. hira’s a prodigy, easily executing techniques sita remembers took the other girls at the temple months to master. (techniques sita will never be able to do.) sita can help her, teach her, in a way hira will never be able to do for her. you can’t give someone bending, after all.
they meditate together, and cook air nomad recipes with chusak’s help. she teaches hira to read, write and speak the most common air nomad languages, and hira teaches her her earth kingdom town’s language in return.
it would be so easy to be jealous of hira. and maybe she is jealous, just a little. but she doesn’t let that jealousy fester, doesn’t let it turn into resentment. she won’t ever be able to bend, but she can be proud of hira, can be happy for her. can laugh with her as they mess up the recipe for fruit pies and smile at her when she masters yet another kata. she can participate in her culture with another air nomad, one who she knows won’t judge her for being a non-bender. (she spent the first twenty-seven years of her life as one, after all.)
and it will be enough.
(she doesn’t know that hira is jealous of her in the same way, for growing up in the temples. (hira’s spent her whole life wanting nothing more than connection with her culture.) but much in the same way, hira doesn’t allow her jealousy to lead her. she and sita are both air nomads who will always be a little bit of an outsider, and they’ll have to stick together. it’s not just that, though. she likes being around this chatty, lively kid (“I’m eighteen!” sita always protests). she likes to gossip with her and sit in the crow’s nest together and play silly games and have competitions who have climb the masts the fastest. sita is one of the main reasons hira decides to stay when the ziyou reaches the port taituk had promised they’d drop her off at.)
(the rest of the crew notices, that since hira’s arrival, sita seems happier than she’s ever been.)
#they are sososo dear to me <33333#elli replies#corey tag#ask#again thank you SO much for sending this ask and I am SO sorry#oc tag#the birates#wind in the sails#sita#hira#oc rambles#hira & sita#that said. there’s a certain hilarity in the avatar’s airbending master (and later spiritual master) being a 18-19 yo kid who is not in fact#a bender#another random scene is taituk (who’s like a love interest for hira but in a decidedly polyam & also aspec way) making hira beaded earrings#the way they learned from their mother (who’s an artist/crafts…woman?)#they’re air nomad symbols but in both earth kingdom and air nomad colours#and maybe also simple mandalas?#they made them during their stay at the south pole for hira’s waterbending training#they asked sita for help with the ideas/designs <3#the reason for the earth kingdom colours is that taituk wants to help her realise that the culture of the earth kingdom town is just as much#*her* culture as the air nomad one if she wants it to be#I have another scene in my head about that which is that taituk’s sitting on the floor in the qasgiq trying to carve something for hira#a cousin of theirs sees and teases her like ‘oooh are you gonna propose?’ ‘you know damn well engagement necklaces aren’t a thing in our#tribe.’ (grinning) ‘yeah but /she/ doesn’t. and you never know what she might have heard about water tribe marriage customs. where did you#say she grew up again?’ ‘…the northwestern earth kingdom.’ ‘ha! I knew it you’re in love with the new girl! oh [other cousin] owes me five#strips of seal jerky!’ (runs off) (taituk rubbing their temples wondering why they had to be both the eldest sibling AND eldest cousin)#(but they’re also smiling)
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#The Aramis ask has made me look for papers on some kinda specific topics on the book. I have yet to read the book#Why am I like this#Why can't I enjoy things and engage with them a normal amount?#And‚ especially‚ why do I have to overthink everything and every question? Why can't I let things be just an endearing interaction?#Anyway‚ I'm reading a paper on the use of Latin through the book to convey the different characters' backgrounds and personalities#It's pretty interesting‚ if someone wants a link#Thinking about this chapter so much is making me want to bite on Aramis like an apple#You know that light tension of the skin of the apple under the teeth an instant before breaking? I want that out of him#He's making me think of angels‚ set theory and transfinite numbers again#I feel like dancing on the head of a pin or banging my head against the table#Which is to say‚ I'm having a lot of fun and I love him#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Unrelated‚ but isn't 'Aramis' such a pretty gender neutral sounding name?#I guess it's a good thing namewise that I won't ever have children. That's totally something I could see myself naming a human being as
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The truth about Medusa and her rape... Mythology breakdown time!
With the recent release of the Percy Jackson television series, Tumblr is bursting with mythological posts, and the apparition of Medusa the Gorgon has been the object of numerous talks throughout this website… Including more and more spreading of misinformation, and more debates about what is the “true” version of Medusa’s backstory.
Already let us make that clear: the idea that Medusa was actually “blessed” or “gifted” by Athena her petrifying gaze/snake-hair curse is to my knowledge not at all part of the Antique world. I still do not know exactly where this comes from, but I am aware of no Greek or Roman texts that talked about this – so it seems definitively a modern invention. After all, the figure of Medusa and her entire myth has been taken part, reinterpreted and modified by numerous modern women, feminist activist, feminist movements or artists engaged in the topic of women’s life and social conditions – most notably Medusa becoming the “symbol of raped women’ wrath and fury”. It is an interesting reading and a fascinating update of the ancient texts, and it is a worthy take on its own time and context – but today we are not talking about the posterity, reinvention and continuity of Medusa as a myth and a symbol. I want to clarify some points about the ACTUAL myth or legend of Medusa – the original tale, as told by the Greeks and then by the Romans.
Most specifically the question: Was Medusa raped?
Step 1: Yes, but no.
The backstory of Medusa you will find very often today, ranging from mythology manuals (vulgarization manuals of course) to Youtube videos, goes as such: Medusa was a priestess of Athena who got raped by Poseidon while in Athena’s temple, and as a result of this, Athena punished Medusa by turning her into the monstrous Gorgon.
Some will go even further claiming Athena’s “curse” wasn’t a punishment but a “gift” or blessing – and again, I don’t know where this comes from and nobody seems to be able to give me any reliable source for that, so… Let’s put this out of there.
Now this backstory – famous and popular enough to get into Riodan’s book series for example – is partially true. There are some elements here very wrong – and by wrong I do mean wrong.
The story of Medusa being raped and turned into a monster due to being raped does indeed exist, and it is the most famous and widespread of all the Medusa stories, the one people remembered for the longest time and wrote and illustrated the most about. Hence why Medusa became in the 20th century this very important cultural symbol tied to rape and the abuse of women and victim-blaming. HOWEVER – the origin of this story is Ovid’s Metamorphoses, from the first century CE or so. Ovid? A Roman poet writing for Roman people. “Metamorphoses”? One of the two fundamental works of Roman literature and one of the two main texts of Roman mythology, alongside Virgil’s Aeneid. This is a purely Roman story belonging to the Roman culture – and not the Greek one. The story of Medusa’s rape does not have Greek precedents to my knowledge, Ovid introduced the element of rape – which is no surprise given Ovid turned half of the romances of Greek mythology into rapes. Note that, on top of all this, Ovid wasn’t even writing for religious purposes, nor was his text an actual mythological effort – he wrote it with pure literary intentions at heart. It is just a piece of poetry and literature taking inspiration from the legends of the Greek world, not some sort of sacred text.
Second big point: The legend I summarized above? It isn’t even the story Ovid wrote, since there are a lot of elements that do not come from Ovid’s retelling of the story (book fourth of the Metamorphoses). For example Ovid never said Medusa was a priestess of Athena – all he said was that she was raped in the temple of Athena. I shouldn’t even be writing Athena since again, this is a Roman text: we are speaking of Minerva here, and of Neptune, not of Athena or Poseidon. Similarly, Minerva’s curse did not involve the petrifying gaze – rather all Ovid wrote about was that Minerva turned Medusa’s hair into snakes, to “punish” her because her hair were very beautiful, and it was what made her have many suitors (none of which she wanted to marry apparently), and it is also implied it is what made Neptune fall in love (or rather fall in lust) with her. I guess it is from this detail that the reading of “Athena’s curse was a gift” comes from – even though this story also clearly does victim-blaming of rape here.
But what is very fascinating is that… we are not definitively sure Neptune raped Medusa in Ovid’s retelling. For sure, the terms used by Ovid in his fourth book of Metamorphoses are clear: this was an action of violating, sexually assaulting, of soiling and corrupting, we are talking about rape. But Ovid refers several other times to Medusa in his other books, sometimes adding details the fourth-book stories does not have (the sixth book for examples evokes how Neptune turned into a bird to seduce Medusa, which is completely absent from the fourth book’s retelling of Medusa’ curse). And in all those other mentions, the terms to designate the relationship between Medusa and Neptune are more ambiguous, evoking seduction and romance rather than physical or sexual assault. (It does not help that Ovid has an habit of constantly confusing consensual and non-consensual sex in his poems, meaning that a rape in one book can turn into a romance in another, or reversal)
But the latter fact makes more sense when you recall that the rape element was invented and added by Ovid. Before, yes Poseidon and Medusa loved each other, but it was a pure romance, or at least a consensual one-night. Heck, if we go back to the oldest records of the love between Poseidon and Medusa, back in Hesiod’s Theogony, we have descriptions of the two of them laying together in a beautiful, flowery meadow – a stereotypical scene of pastoral romances – with no mention of any brutality or violence of any sort. As a result, it makes sense the original “romantic” story would still “leak” or cast a shadow over Ovid’s reinvented and slightly-confused tale.
Step 2: So… no rape?
Well, if we go by Greek texts, no, apparently Medusa was not raped in Greek mythology, and only became a rape victim through Ovid.
The Ancient Greek texts all record Poseidon and Medusa sleeping with each other and having children, but no mention of rape. And the whole “curse of Athena” thing is not present in the oldest records – no temple of Athena soiling, no angry Athena cursing a poor girl… “No curse?” you say “But then how did Medusa got turned into a Gorgon”? Answer: she did not. She was born like that.
As I said before, the oldest record of Medusa’s romance but also of her family comes from Hesiod’s Theogony (Hesiod being one of the two “founding authors” of Greek mythology, alongside Homer – Homer did wrote several times about Medusa, but only as a disembodied head and as a monster already dead, so we don’t have any information about her life). And what do we learn? That Medusa is part of a set of three sisters known as the Gorgons – because oh yes, Ovid did not mention Medusa’s sister now did he? How did Medusa’s sisters ALSO got snake-hair or petrifying-gaze if only Medusa was cursed for sleeping with Neptune? Ovid does not give us any answer because again, it is an “adaptational plot hole”, and the people that try to adapt Ovid’s story have to deal with the slight problem of Stheno and Euryale needing to share their sister’s curse despite seemingly not being involved in the whole Neptune business. Anyway, back to the Greek text.
So, you have those three Gorgon sisters, and Medusa is said to be mortal while her sisters are not. Why is it such a big deal? Because Medusa wasn’t originally some random human or priestess. Oh no! Who were the Gorgons’ parents? Phorcys and Keto/Ceto, aka two sea-gods. Not just two sea-gods – two sea-gods of the ancient, primordial generation of sea-gods, the one that predated Poseidon, and that were cousins to the Titans, the sea-gods born of Gaia mating with Pontos.
So the Gorgons were “divine” of nature – and this is why Medusa being a mortal was considered to be a MASSIVE problem and handicap for her, an abnormal thing for the daughter of two deities. But let’s dig a bit further… Who were Phorcys and Ceto? Long story short: in Greek mythology, they were considered to be sea-equivalents of Typhon and Gaia. They were the parents of many monsters and many sea-horrors: Keto/Ceto herself had her name attributed and equated with any very large creature (like whales) or any terrifying monster (like dragons) from the sea. The Gorgons themselves was a trio of monsters, but their sisters, that directly act as their double in the myth of Perseus? The Graiai – the monstrous trio of old women sharing one eye and one tooth. Hesiod also drops the fact that Ladon (the dragon that guarded the golden apples of the Hesperids), and Echidna (the snake-woman that mated with Typhon and became known as the “mother of monsters”) were also children of Phorcys and Ceto, while other authors will add other monster-related characters such as Scylla (of Charybdis and Scylla fame), the sirens, or Thoosa (the mother of Polyphemus the cyclop). Medusa herself is technically a “mother of monsters” since she birthed both Pegasus the flying horse and Chrysaor, a giant. So here is something very important to get: Medusa, and the Gorgons, were part of a family of monsters. Couple that with the absence of any mention of curses in these ancient texts, and everything is clear.
Originally Medusa was not a woman cursed to become a monster: she was born a monster, part of a group of monster siblings, birthed by monster-creating deities, and she belonged to the world of the “primordial abominations from the sea”, and the pre-Olympian threats, the remnants of the primordial chaos. It is no surprise that the Gorgons were said to live at the edge of the very known world, in the last patch of land before the end of the universe – in the most inhuman, primitive and liminal area possible. They were full-on monsters!
Now you might ask why Poseidon would sleep with a horrible monster, especially when you recall that the Greeks loved to depict the Gorgons as truly bizarre and grotesque. It wasn’t just snake-hair and petrifying gaze: they had boar tusks, and metallic claws, and bloated eyes, and a long tongue that constantly hanged down their bearded chin, and very large heads – some very old depictions even show her with a female centaur body! In fact, the ancient texts imply that it wasn’t so much the Gorgon’s gaze or eyes that had the power to turn people into stone – but that rather the Gorgon was just so hideous and so terrifying to look at people froze in terror – and then literally turned into stone out of fear and disgust. We are talking Lovecraftian level of eldritch horror here. So why would Poseidon, an Olympian god, sleep with one of these horrors? Well… If you know your Poseidon it wouldn’t surprise you too much because Poseidon had a thing for monsters. As a sort of “dark double” of Zeus, whereas Zeus fell in love with beautiful princesses and noble queens and birthed great gods and brave heroes, Poseidon was more about getting freaky with all sorts of unusual and bizarre goddesses, and giving birth to bandits and monsters. A good chunk of the villains of Greek mythology were born out of Poseidon’s loins: Polyphemus, Antaios, Orion, Charybdis, the Aloads… And even his most benevolent offspring has freaky stuff about it – Proteus the shapeshifter or Triton half-man half-fish… So yes, Poseidon sleeping with an abominable Gorgon is not so much out of character.
Step 3: The missing link
Now that we established what Medusa started out as, and what she ended up as… We need to evoke the evolution from point Hesiod to point Ovid, because while people summarized the Medusa debate as “Sea-born monster VS raped and punished woman”, there is a third element needed to understand this whole situation…
Yes Ovid did invent the rape. But he did not invent the idea that Medusa had been cursed by Athena.
The “gorgoneion” – the visual and artistic motif of the Gorgon’s head – was, as I said, a grotesque and monstrous face used to invoke fright into the enemies or to repel any vile influence or wicked spirit by the principle of “What’s the best way to repel bad stuff? Badder stuff”. Your Gorgon was your gargoyle, with all the hideous traits I described before – represented in front (unlike all the other side-portraits of gods and heroes), with the face being very large and flat, a big tongue out of a tusked-mouth, snake-hair, bulging crazy eyes, sometimes a beard or scales… Pure monster. But then… from the fifth century BCE to the second century BCE we see a slow evolution of the “gorgoneion” in art. Slowly the grotesque elements disappear, and the Gorgon’s face becomes… a regular, human face. Even more: it even becomes a pretty woman’s face! But with snakes instead of hair. As such, the idea that Medusa was a gorgeous woman who just had snakes and cursed-eyes DOES come from Ancient Greece – and existed well before Ovid wrote his rape story.
But what was the reason behind this change?
Well, we have to look at the Roman era again. Ovid’s tale of Medusa being cursed for her rape at the hands of Neptune had to rival with another record collected by a Greek author Apollodorus, or Pseudo-Apollodorus, in his Bibliotheca. In this collection of Greek myths, Apollodorus writes that indeed, Medusa was cursed by Athena to have her beautiful hair that seduced everybody be turned into snakes… But it wasn’t because of any rape or forbidden romance, no. It was just because Medusa was a very vain woman who liked to brag about her beauty and hair – and had the foolish idea of saying her hair looked better than Athena’s. (If you recall tales such as Arachne’s or the Judgement of Paris, you will know that despite Athena being wise and clever, one of her main flaws is her vanity).
“Wait a minute,” you are going to tell me, “The Bibliotheca was created in the second century CE! Well after Greece became part of the Roman Empire, and after Ovid’s Metamorphoses became a huge success! It isn’t a true Greek myth, it is just Ovid’s tale being projected here…” And people did agree for a time… Until it was discovered, in the scholias placed around the texts of Apollonios of Rhodes, that an author of the fifth century BCE named Pherecyde HAD recorded in his time a version of Medusa’s legend where she had been cursed into becoming an ugly monster as punishment for her vanity. We apparently do not have the original text of Pherecyde, but the many scholias referring to this lost piece are very clear about this. This means that the story that Apollodorus recorded isn’t a “novelty”, but rather the latest record of an older tradition going back to the fifth century BCE… THE SAME CENTURY THAT THE GORGONEION STARTED LOSING THEIR GROTESQUE, and that the face of Medusa started becoming more human in art.
[EDIT: I also forgot to add that this evolution of Medusa is also proved by strange literary elements, such as Pindar's mention in a poem of his (around 490 BCE) of "fair-cheeked Medusa". A description which seems strange given how Medusa used to be depicted as the epitome of ugliness... But that makes sense if the "cursed beauty" version of the myth had been going around at the time!]
And thus it is all connected and explained. Ovid did invent the rape yes – but he did not invent the idea of Athena cursing Medusa. It pre-existed as the most “recent” and dominating legend in Ancient Greece, having overshadowed by Ovid’s time the oldest Hesiodic records of Medusa being born a monster. So what Ovid did wasn’t completely create a new story out of nowhere, but twist the Greek traditions of Athena cursing Medusa and Medusa having a relationship with Poseidon, so that the two legends would form one and same story. And this explains in retrospect why Ovid focuses so much on describing Medusa’s beautiful hair, and why Ovid’s Minerva would think turning her hair into snake would be a “punishment fit for the crime”: these are leftovers of the Greek tale where Medusa was punished for her boasting and her vanity.
CONCLUSION
Here is the simplified chronology of how Medusa’s evolution went.
A) Primitive Greek myths, Hesiodic tradition: Born a monster out of a family of sea-monsters and monstrous immortals. Is a grotesque, gargoylesque, eldritch abomination. Athena has only an indirect conflict with her, due to being Perseus’ “fairy godmother”. Has a lovely romance with Poseidon.
B) Slow evolution throughout Classical Greece and further: Medusa becomes a beautiful, human-looking girl that was cursed to have snake for hair and petrifying eyes, instead of being a Lovecraftian horror people could not gaze upon. Her conflict with Athena becomes direct, as it is Athena that cursed her due to being offended by her vain boasting. Her punishment is for her vanity and arrogant comparison to the goddess.
C) Ovid comes in: Medusa’s romance with Poseidon becomes a rape, and she is now punished for having been raped inside Athena’s temple.
[As a final note, I want to insist upon the fact that the story of Medusa being raped is not less "worthy" than any other version of the myth. Due to its enormous popularity, how it shaped the figure of Medusa throughout the centuries, and how it still survives today and echoes current-day problems, to try to deny the valid place of this story in the world of myths and legends would be foolish. HOWEVER it is important to place back things in their context, to recognize that it is not the ONLY tale of Medusa, that it was NOT part of Greek mythology, but rather of Roman legends - and let us all always remember this time Poseidon slept with a Lovecraftian horror because my guy is kinky.]
EDIT:
For illustration, I will place here visuals showing how the Ancient art evolved alongside Medusa's story.
Before the 5th century BCE: Medusa is a full-on monster
From the 5th century to the 2nd century BCE: A slow evolution as Medusa goes from a full-on monster to a human turned into a monster. As a result the two depictions of the grotesque and beautiful gorgoneion coexist.
Post 2nd century BCE: Medusa is now a human with snake hair, and just that
#greek mythology#medusa#gorgon#athena#gorgons#poseidon#neptune#minerva#ovid#rape in mythology#greek monsters#roman mythology
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• mingyu x fem reader
• smut, sexting, mingyu is an avid emoji user, switch mingyu but more subby at the end (sawrrrry I can’t help it), use of pet names (good boy and baby).
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note: I wanted to post a quick work to get this blog going while I finish some longer things I’m working on ♡ hope you like it and I’m sorry if there are any mistakes
part 2 is posted! find it here
Your eyes roll when your phone lights up and the text notification pops up.
Kim Mingyu🤢: don’t forget to transfer me the money for Seokmin’s bday 🙏 [11:47 pm.]
The idea of Kim Mingyu of all people handling something as important as a birthday surprise for your best friend irks you.
Of course he was his best friend too. But why on earth did he end up making the plans. And who made you follow his lead. It’s like torture. You don’t want to engage with him in any way.
He was so smug when everyone decided he should be in charge of the surprise party. The decision was between you and him, and you guess people don’t really like your style of planning, because it was an unanimous vote. Still, you liked not having to stress so much about it but having to rely on your sworn enemy makes you shrug.
Okay maybe sworn enemy it’s an exaggeration. You two just don’t like each other, and that’s fine. Not everyone is always going to like you and you’re okay with that. The problem is when you can’t avoid said person because you’re in the same fucking friend group.
You two avoid each other if possible. When the whole group hangs out, you try to stay as far away as you can. It’s not like you fight with him but your exchanges are short and dry, often a little harsh, so you try your best to avoid it to not spoil the mood.
After you transfer him the money you take a screenshot to send him. It’s not really needed but you do it just to make sure there’s proof that you transferred the money.
You open his chat and send the last picture on your camera roll without even looking, trying to be done with him the fastest possible.
You: [Picture.] [11:50 pm.]
Locking your phone, you keep working on the assignment your boss asked you to finish by tomorrow. But it gets cut short because not even five minutes later Mingyu texts you again. You don’t open his chat, instead read it through the notification.
Kim Mingyu🤢: didn’t take you as the type to take pics like that 🫣 [11:54 pm.]
You wonder what the hell he’s talking about and why did he choose such annoying emoji.
As you open the chat your eyes grow wide and you realize you forgot to check what exactly you were sending Mingyu.
It seems that your screenshot hadn’t fully loaded on the gallery, and you accidentally sent him the previous last photo on your camera roll, which was a mirror selfie of you wearing a new pair of underwear you bought today.
Panic starts to creep in on you, but before doing anything stupid you breathe in and breathe out, calming yourself to think. Mingyu’s still online, which means he’s probably waiting for your answer.
Instead of admitting it was on accident or show him any weakness, you decide to play with him a little. He likes to annoy you too so why not do the same.
You: you never know… I’m full of surprises.
You: why wouldn’t I take a pic if I look pretty? [11:55 pm]
You don’t expect much but his reply comes as soon as you click send.
Kim Mingyu🤢: surprised I definitely am🤔 can’t decide if I like this side of you or not🫢 [11:55 pm.]
You: like I care about your validation [11:56 pm.]
Kim Mingyu🤢: you should.
You: ?
Kim Mingyu🤢: take pics like this I mean😳
Now this is getting interesting.
You: so you think I look pretty? [11:57 pm.]
You wouldn’t lie and say him saying things like this doesn’t make you a little giddy. He’s always so dry with you, you definitely prefer this side of him.
Kim Mingyu🤢: you should send me another one🫣 it’ll help me make up my mind.
You ponder on what’s happening for a solid minute before replying. Is he flirting? Is he teasing you? Will this just be another thing to annoy you in the future?
You: can you stop with those fuckass emojis. [11:58 pm.]
You: I’m not speaking to you if you keep talking like that.
Kim Mingyu🤢: what if I say please?
Now that. Is unexpected. At first it seemed like he wanted to annoy you too, but now he’s almost… begging? How far is he willing to take it? How willing are you?
You: you’re so annoying.
You: I’m trying to work.
Kim Mingyu🤢: all this time we've known each other and I’ve never even seen you in a bikini. [11:59 pm]
Kim Mingyu🤢: what a waste of time.
You: was it worth the wait?
Kim Mingyu🤢: you have no idea.
You: enlighten me then.
Kim Mingyu🤢: oh I don’t think you’re prepared for that.
The conversation is taking a turn you’re not sure if you should take. Exciting you in ways that it shouldn’t.
A chat between the two of you never exceeded a few texts, you both always so eager to end it as soon as possible, so why does he keep replying? Why do you?
You: what do you want Mingyu? [12:00 am]
Your blatant question seems to take him by surprise because he doesn’t reply right away.
Kim Mingyu🤢: me? You’re the one that sent me a fucking nude at this hour [12:01 am]
He’s right. Are you embarrassing yourself? He’s never gonna let you live after this. But you’re not backing down now.
You: I wasn’t naked you pervert [12:02 am]
You: and it didn’t seem to matter to you before
You: you liked it didn’t you
Kim Mingyu🤢: never said I didn’t
You: so…
Kim Mingyu🤢: what?
You: are you gonna do something about it?
You’re too curious for your own good. The lines between annoying him and flirting with him are getting more and more blurred every second that passes.
Now it’s your turn to be surprised.
Kim Mingyu🤢: you can’t ask me that [12:03 am]
You: why?
Minutes pass and you see him typing then nothing, then typing again. Your room starts to feel hotter, the expectation getting the best of you and you start to feel a familiar feeling at the base of your stomach.
Kim Mingyu🤢: you should never send a desperate guy something like that at this hour [12:06 am]
You: are you that desperate?
Kim Mingyu🤢: [Picture.]
Kim Mingyu🤢: does that answer your question?
You stare in awe at your phone for what feels like an hour. His hard dick covered by his white boxers threatening to come out fills your screen. Nothing is left to the imagination.
Kim Mingyu🤢: cat got your tongue? [12:08 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: [Picture.]
Kim Mingyu🤢: it’s getting difficult to not touch myself
A second photo fills your screen now. It’s almost in the same position except now his hand is covering his bulge and his red tip is out.
Wetness starts to pool on your underwear, but he doesn’t need to know, yet at least.
You: I never pictured you as such a needy guy. [12:10 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m not ashamed to be who I am🙈
You: even with you hands on your pants you manage to send a fucking emoji wow. [12:11 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: I can send something else
Kim Mingyu🤢: only if you want of course
You straighten yourself, waiting for another photo, but nothing happens. When you move on your seat, you feel just how wet you are. Oh you’re gonna kill him after this.
You: I really hate you you know [12:14 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: aren’t you supposed to be working?😨
You: you’re distracting
Kim Mingyu🤢: oh so you do want this
You: this? [12:15 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: all you have to do is ask
Kim Mingyu🤢: nicely
You: you really gonna make me beg?
Kim Mingyu🤢: want me to show you how horny I am?
Kim Mingyu🤢: you want me to make you feel good.
You: you could never make me feel good. [12:16 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: oh we’ll see about that.
The act you’re putting up won’t last much longer if he keeps up like this. Your right hand creeps down you abdomen. You barely graze your covered cunt, the little relief makes you sigh.
You’re too lost in the little pleasure and don’t realize he sent more texts.
Kim Mingyu🤢: [voice note] [12:18 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: your turn.
Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m dying over here
Kim Mingyu🤢: are you touching yourself? [12:19 am]
You: you’re leaving me no choice. [12:20 am]
You decide to play with him a little and send him a ‘one view only’ photo of your hand inside your panties. The same panties as the first photo you sent.
After you reply you dare to play his voice note. The faint sound of his hand tugging on his erection and his little grunts are nothing compared to the sigh he lets out at the end. You play with your fingers, circling them around your wet entrance.
Kim Mingyu🤢: you’re so not fair. [12:22 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: I bet you’re so wet right now
Kim Mingyu🤢: I wish you were here so I could touch you properly [12:23 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: my fingers playing with your little cunt like the brat you are
This can’t hurt right? It’s not like it will happen again and besides he’s already jerking off to your image. You start circling around your clit, playing with yourself making you squirm.
You: I’m so wet [12:24 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: did i get you all riled up already?
You: don’t flatter yourself
Kim Mingyu🤢: tell me.
Kim Mingyu🤢: show me how wet you are [12:25 am]
You: I could just slide my fingers in
Kim Mingyu🤢: I said show me
You debate if you should actually send him something. You know he’s trustworthy, he’s friends with your best friends after all, but this is something far beyond that.
You: should I? [12:26 am]
You: I could just leave you like this
You: get it done by myself
It could be read a threat but you want to see how he reacts.
Kim Mingyu🤢: don’t be mean☹️
Kim Mingyu🤢: I won’t show this to anyone [12:27 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: if that worries you
Kim Mingyu🤢: I promise
His sudden kindness surprises you a little.
You’re not sure if you always found Mingyu attractive. Sure he’s really handsome that’s undeniable. Maybe when you first met you thought he was really hot but those feelings died down because your relationship wasn’t the best. You had a few fights before you decided it was best for the group to just ignore each other if possible.
This was the first time in years you had a long conversation that didn’t end in a fight, and you like it.
You: I'm not the type to do this you know [12:28 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m not either
You: but I don't want to stop
Kim Mingyu🤢: me neither
Knowing he wants this too just turns you on more. He’s not pushing you to do anything and you guess that if you tell him to stop he will. But you have to make sure before you do something.
You: just promise me this is between us [12:30 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: you have my word🤐
You: be serious for one second
Kim Mingyu🤢: you can trust me
Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m serious I won’t show or tell anyone
That is enough to calm you for now. You don’t think about how this will affect your relationship. Seokmin’s birthday is just few days away and you’ll have to face Mingyu in front of everyone.
But that doesn’t bother you now as you’re filming what Mingyu so desperately was asking you to.
You angle your phone to show only your lower body on camera. You start the video circling your entrance, gathering as much arousal as possible. After that, you move your fingers closer to the camera to show how wet they are and then slowly insert two fingers in your hole. You end the video after a little moan escapes your lips
You: for being such a good boy [12:35 am]
You: [video]
You don’t stop fingering yourself and close your eyes imagining it’s Mingyu’s hand and not yours. His thick fingers would stretch you more than yours ever could. A few slow strokes are enough to make you squirm. And you remember to open your eyes and see you got more texts from Mingyu.
Kim Mingyu🤢: holy fuck [12:37 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: you’re dripping
Kim Mingyu🤢: I should be there right now
Kim Mingyu🤢: show you what my mouth could do
Kim Mingyu🤢: could eat you out for hours
Kim Mingyu🤢: fuck you’re making me so hard [12:38 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: [picture]
He had took his boxers off and was now fully naked. His hand could barely wrap around his fully hard dick. The tip is pinkish red and leaking precum already.
You: fuck you’re so big [12:39 am]
You: I don’t think it could fit inside me
Kim Mingyu🤢: I’ll make it fit
You: how?
Kim Mingyu🤢: I'd make you cum so much that I'd slide right in
You: are you touching yourself?
Kim Mingyu🤢: god how I wish this was you instead of my hand
You close your eyes again. Imagining Mingyu on top of you as you finger yourself harder, as deep as you possibly can. Wet sounds and moans fill your room as you get closer and closer.
Kim Mingyu🤢: I’m so close it’s embarrassing [12:41 am]
You: I am too
Kim Mingyu🤢: show me?🥺
The giggle you let out is almost instantaneous. His emojis are annoyingly cute.
You take a similar video as before but don’t hold back the moans. Your strokes are slow to show on camera how deep you’re getting. The orgasm is so close you can taste it but you stop, edging yourself.
You: because you asked so nicely [12:43 am]
You: [video.]
You: now you
You wait a few minutes, stroking you clit lightly to not lose the orgasm but not quickly enough to stimulate much.
The torture doesn’t last long because a video appears in your chat along with more texts.
Kim Mingyu🤢: holy shit [12:44 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: you’re so hot
Kim Mingyu🤢: god that should be my hand
Kim Mingyu🤢: [video] [12:45 pm]
As soon as you press play you’re welcomed by Mingyu’s delicious moans. His cock is shiny with pre cum all over it, now angry red. He moans at every pump and you feel yourself getting wetter.
Unexpectedly, he also speaks: “I’m so close" his voice is hoarse and deep like you’ve never heard before, “I wish this was your hand, shit only imagining makes me almost cum" and finally, “please… tell me I can cum… can I cum?”
You never expected the big buff Kim Mingyu to be so needy, it just makes you hornier if that’s even possible.
You: you’re so needy baby [12:47 am]
You: I’m close too
You: been edging myself waiting for you
Kim Mingyu🤢: shit baby don’t say stuff like that [12:48 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: im about to burst
You: want to cum big boy?
Kim Mingyu🤢: pleeasee
You: look who’s begging now
Kim Mingyu🤢: don’t play with me right now
Kim Mingyu🤢: you’re just as desperate as me
Kim Mingyu🤢: use three fingers for me and cum baby [12:49 am]
You don’t need to be told twice. You press record and insert three fingers into your cunt. You’re so wet they just slide in and you let out a long moan, increasing your speed at every thrust. It’s not long until you’re shaking and cumming all over your hand and bed.
But you don’t end the video there. You grab you phone and film your face as you suck your fingers clean while staring at the camera lense.
You: [video.] [12:51 am]
You: your turn to cum baby
As you wait for him you go clean yourself up and grab new sheets for the bed.
Kim Mingyu🤢: [video] [12:53]
You press play and the sight of his hand is rapidly stoking his hard dick welcomes you, no more than five strokes after the video starts he lets out a long ground and is cumming all over his abs.
Kim Mingyu🤢: that was [12:54]
Kim Mingyu🤢: holy shit
Kim Mingyu🤢: I never came so fast in my life
You: embarrassingly me neither
The conversations stills for a few minutes, even though it feels like hours. What do you say after sexting with someone you supposedly hate?
You: I guess I’ll see you on saturday [01:03 am]
You're left on seen a few more minutes and you wonder if he already regrets this.
Kim Mingyu🤢: yeah right [01:06 am]
Kim Mingyu🤢: I’ll send everyone what hour to come by to prepare everything
Kim Mingyu🤢: see you then
It’s so awkward that you don’t send anything after.
You don’t regret it but you do fear what’s going to happen.
Note: sorry if the ending it’s a little sudden, I don’t know how to finish this but I do want to write a part two 😉
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There’s a weird recurring take in D20 fan circles that Zac doesn’t play “complex” characters and that people are just waiting for the day when he “finally” plays an asshole, which kind of baffles me. Quite apart from the idea that only morally grey characters are complex or compelling, are you sure we’re watching the same show?
In Fantasy High, we have Gorgug, an adopted biracial teenager whose journey includes realizing his self-worth, coming to terms with his rage (literally), seeking out and navigating new relationships with others (his birth parents, the Bad Kids, Zelda), and discovering what he’s capable of.
From The Unsleeping City we have Ricky, a second-generation Japanese-American, who has a very personal struggle across two seasons between doing the dutiful/sacrificial thing for other people’s benefit and expressing his own needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings; it’s a very particular exploration of immigrant generations and the relationship between the sacrificial model of your ancestors and the culture you grew up surrounded by which emphasizes the self.
There’s A Crown of Candy and Lapin, whose snark and one-liners are honestly less interesting than the way he engaged with and sought to understand religion and faith; the different yet similar ways in which both the Sugar Plum Fairy and the Church exerted control over their followers, and the search for spiritual meaning beyond these figures/institutions.
Then there’s Cumulous, whose every character aspect navigates a space of tension - the ultimate war guy who made himself hardened (literally) and pragmatic to get the job done but who also remains soft and caring and empathetic at the same time; wielding the power of death without glorifying or giving into it; the cousin who both is a member of the family and yet who remains at somewhat of a distance from the centre; a literal warrior-philosopher who is single-minded in battle and quietly thoughtful about the mysteries of life and death outside of it.
As for actual assholes, we have Norman Takamori in A Starstruck Odyssey, a bitter man who is the living embodiment of both the Superior Orders excuse as well as scapegoating. On a side note, the amount of absolute vitriol and double standards which people threw at Norman during ASO for being an unapologetic asshole -and he had less than two full episodes of screen time- kind of underscores the calls for Zac to play a “real” asshole. Zac can and will play whatever type of character he wants, but is fandom really ready for him to play an asshole if that asshole doesn’t have a secret heart of gold?
From the same season, we have Valdrinor/Skip, who starts as the “prince running from his destiny” archetype with a dash of brain slug possession, has a humorous yet oddly profound exploration of what humanity is and what it means to be human, and springboards from there into “wait, who am I really and actually, why are we doing things (brain slug possession) this way when there are other ways to engage with the universe.”
Most recently in Neverafter, we have Pib, who apart from the fascinating meta element of being a literal character archetype, constantly straddles the line between self-absorbed self-interest and putting himself on the line to help others; his repeated demonstration of both at various points throughout the season is a subtle yet intriguing manifestation of free will and choice-making in a story all about lacking free will and agency.
So, I mean, lack of complexity where? Does a character need to be an asshole in order to be deep or compelling? And because I’ve heard this specific rebuttal quite a few times now, does a character need to vocalize their innermost thoughts loudly and frequently in order to prove their complexity? If a character is “less vocal” compared to other characters, does that mean they lack interiority?
Also, other people have brought this up before, but I am once again asking that people remember the difference between fictional characters and real life people. Zac playing one (1) himbo on the show does not make him a himbo in real life, nor does it make him incapable of creating or playing complex characters (especially as said himbo is himself an extremely complex character), nor does it make him a lesser player than other cast members. You don’t have to find all or any of his characters interesting or complex, but can we stop conflating character with player?
#dimension 20#dimension 20 discourse#dimension 20 spoilers#(in case you haven't seen one of the mentioned seasons)#i haven't listened to naddpod so i can't speak to mavrus and squing is not included but the point still stands generally#1) asshole/morally grey characters are not the only type of characters who are complex or compelling#2) at the same time; zac has actually played both non-asshole and asshole characters who are complex and compelling#3) you don't have to find all his characters deep or interesting but please stop using them to make assumptions about the real life actor
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What are your thoughts on guardians vol.3? (If you have watched it) I went into it, expecting it went to the garbage like the rest of the mcu, but I was pleasantly surprised by its creativity, trope subversion, and how it wrapped up the previously unresolved arks of its characters.
That's what I've heard!
The thing is, Guardians 3 could be the most transcendent work of cinema ever made, and I'd probably still feel little to no motivation to watch it at this point. It's not Guardians's fault - it's just suffering from the same problem that superhero comics have been struggling with for decades: no matter how good an individual arc or run is, absolutely nothing good lasts or matters in the long term, and the stories are shaped in such a way that "the long term" is the only thing anyone gets to build towards.
Whenever I complain about the MCU I get a handful of people loudly complaining about my complaining, with the general thesis that if I don't like it I shouldn't watch it or talk about it - if I'm not having fun, just stop engaging with it. And the thing is, I have. I am intellectually interested in why this massive franchise is fumbling the bag so hard, which is why I still check in on it sometimes, but I've long since stopped turning to the MCU for uncritical entertainment. And even the good movies or shows with a lot of interesting ideas - good character arcs, fun concepts, interesting planting for future payoff - don't draw me in anymore, because they're hooked into a massive moneymaking machine that will scrap and squander anything if they think it'll make them more in the quarter. It doesn't matter how good the writing is, because the writers are not allowed to tell a complete, finished story, and they have no control over what happens to their characters outside of their own script.
Captain America's arc was set up from literally minute one to answer one burning question at the core of his character: does a world without a war still need Captain America? After that incredibly basic tee-up at the end of First Avenger, half a dozen movies failed to come up with a reason to say "yes," and now Steve is retired for good after getting fumbled through four different storylines that couldn't even pretend that they needed him (the unused Chekhov's Phone from the end of Civil War still haunts me). The foundational arc of his entire character never happened because nobody bothered to keep track of it past a single movie.
Taika did something interesting with Thor in Ragnarok - take away Mjolnir, force him to recognize what it means to be the god of thunder, give him a very Odin-y missing eye - and the very next movie undid all of it. Just kidding, never mind, here's an eye and a new weapon and also his old weapon again, and in one more movie we're even gonna give him his hair back, probably as an apology for all the completely unironic fatphobia we're gonna slather him in for two and a half hours. I'm not even surprised Love And Thunder was such an overblown mess that barely took itself seriously - why would Taika bother trying to give Thor another arc when the powers that be will just roll it back in six months anyway?
I hear Rocket Raccoon has a fantastic arc in this movie. That's great, and demonstrates that he's being written by a writer that deeply cares about him. But he's part of the MCU, and the MCU doesn't let anything end, so if current patterns hold, Rocket is going to continue to serve as quippy plushie-bait for the next dozen movies and none of that depth is going to come through in the long term. Hell, since they're making Kang noises for the Next Big Threat and Kang's entire gimmick is rewriting timelines, literally none of this is guaranteed to matter. By next year, it might not have even happened anymore.
The MCU has successfully shaped itself into a paradigm where the bright spots of good writing are overridden and lost as soon as the writers room turns over, and that makes it really hard for me to muster up the enthusiasm to watch even a really good movie that's locked into the exact same grist mill as everything else. I'm glad people liked it, I hope it gets to stay good this time - I just have no desire to watch it.
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Daggerheart Character Build thoughts!
I am actually out at work and haven't checked the version that's since come out, but I did participate in the character build beta, and the NDA is officially lifted, so here's my thoughts from that! It's definitely limited since I just made a L1 character and didn't go through gameplay, though I surmise about some aspects of gameplay.
Overall, it clearly seems to be made by people who love a lot of things about D&D 5e but wanted both more flexibility and more simplicity, which is difficult. I think they succeed.
To that end, it takes away some of the crunchier aspects (precise positioning, exact amounts of gold) and I think for some people that will be a problem, and that's valid, but ultimately this game wants to both allow for interesting mechanics in and out of combat while also not being terribly math/map/resource management heavy. It is a hard line to walk; most systems either go hard crunch or go entirely gooey.
The dice mechanic (2d12, Hope and Fear system) is fantastic; look it up but I think it handles mixed successes more gracefully and interestingly than a lot of games.
The playtest was not super clear on armor and evasion choices (or indeed what evasion means; it seems to be sort of initiative but sort of dex save, or maybe more like the Pathfinder/old school D&D varying ACs by scenario?). It was much, MUCH clearer than D&D on weapon choices (part of why I play casters? Weapon rules in D&D are annoying and poorly explained and many people rightfully ignore them) so I'm hoping this becomes clear when there's a full guide rather than just the character creation info.
The character creation questions by class were fantastic and in general, and this is a theme, this feels like it guides people towards collaboration. FWIW I feel like D&D has that information, but the way it's presented is very much as flavor text rather than a thing you should be doing. Daggerheart makes this a much more core part of creation. The Experience mechanic is particularly clear: you better be working with your GM and really thinking about background, rather than slapping it on as a mechanic.
The other side of character creation questions is that it really encourages engagement with the class, which is something I've talked about. I think either subversion for the sake of subversion, or picking a class for the mechanics and aesthetic but not the fundamental concept, will be much harder to justify in Daggerheart, and I think that's a good thing because when people do that, their characters tend to be weaker.
The downtime is designed for you to write hurt/comfort fanfic about and this is a compliment. There are a number of mechanics that reward RP, particularly one of the healing mechanics under the Splendor track. I feel like a weakness of D&D is that when you try to reward RP it's really nebulous because there's not actually a ton of space to put that - you can give inspiration, but, for example, the empathy domain Matt homebrewed actually feels kind of off because it's based on such fuzzy concepts amid mechanics that are usually more rigid. Daggerheart comes off as much cleaner yet still RP-focused, and I'm excited to see it in action.
A judgement of Candela and I suppose Daggerheart might be that it's designed for actual play. I've mentioned before that I know people who are super into the crunch and combat and numbers of TTRPGs and are less story-oriented, and again, that's valid, but actual play is just storytelling using a ttrpg and so yes, a game that encourages RP while also having mechanics to support that and influence it is an extremely good goal. I am not an actual player, but I do like D&D games with a good plot and not just Go Kill Monsters, and I want to play this. (I also have some real salty thoughts about how if you modify an existing game for AP purposes that's staggering genius apparently, but if you make your own game how dare you but that's another post).
And now, the classes/subclasses. I am going to sort of use D&D language to describe them because that's a point of reference most people reading this will understand, but they are not one-to-one. A couple notes: everyone can use weapons and armor. HP is not totally clear to me but it seems to be threshold based - everyone has the same HP to start but people have different thresholds and armor, so the tank classes have the same amount of HP but are much harder to actually do damage to.
All classes are built on a combination of a subclass and two domains. There are 9 classes and 9 domains. This technically means that if you wanted to fuck around and homebrew you could make up to 36 classes (27 additional) by just grabbing two domains that weren't otherwise combined, which is fun to consider for the potential. Anyway I cover the classes and briefly describe domains within them. You can take any domain card within your domain, regardless of subclass.
There are six stats. Presence, Instinct, Knowledge, and Strength map roughly to Charisma, Wisdom, Intelligence, and Strength. Dex is split into Agility and Finesse; Agility covers gross motor skills (jumping, most ranged weapons, "maneuvering") and Finesse finer ones (lockpicking and tinkering, though also it does cover hiding). The really big wins are first, no CON score, so you don't need to sink stat points into something that grants no skills but keeps you alive. The second one is that the "hybrid" classes spellcast from their physical stat. This is fucking fantastic. The thing about ranger or paladin or the spellcasting subclasses of rogue and fighter in D&D is that if you don't roll pretty well you're locked into the core stats and CON and nothing else. (This also doesn't have rolling for stats: you assign +2 to one stat, presumably your main, and then distribute two +1s, two 0s, and one -1.)
Your HP, Evasion, and Thresholds are set by class, and there's a core ability; the rest is all from the cards you take for subclass and domain.
Leveling up is very much based on taking more domain cards (abilities) but has a certain degree of flexibility. It's by chunks: in leveling up anywhere levels 2-4, you can, for example, increase your proficiency by +1 once, so if you wanted to do that at level 2 but your fellow player wanted to wait until level 4 and take something else at level 2 instead, they could. It allows for more min-maxing, but also everyone has the same level up rules and differs only in the abilities on the cards, which is very cool.
Bard: Grace (enchantment spells) and Codex (learned spellcaster stuff; the spells available are definitely arcane in vibes) based, Presence is your main stat. The two subclasses map roughly to lore-style stuff and eloquence. Core class ability is sort of like inspiration but not entirely. It's a bard; I like bards a lot, and this is very similar vibes-wise to your D&D bards. If you like D&D bards you will like this.
Druid: Sage (nature spells) and Arcana (raw magical power spellcaster stuff), Instinct is your spellcasting/main stat. The two subclasses are elemental but frankly cooler than circle of the moon, and a more healing/tranquility of nature focused one. I really think Marisha probably gave feedback on this one, because the elemental version is really strong. You do get beastform; it is quite similar to a D&D druid under a different system, as the bard, but the beastform options are, frankly, better and easier to understand.
Guardian: Valor (melee tank/damager) and Blade (damage). Strength based for the most part (Valor mechanics assume strength) though you could go for like, +2 Agility +1 Strength to start. This is barbarian but like. 20 times better. It is, fundamentally, a tank class, and it is very good at it, with one even more tank-focused subclass and one that is more about retaliatory damage. You do have a damage-halving ability once per day, but really guardian's questions are incredible. I think Travis and Ashley likely gave feedback. Also rage doesn't render you incapable of concentration as that doesn't seem to be a thing, so multiclassing seems way more possible (you are, I think, only allowed to do one multiclass, and not until you reach level 5 minimum, which I am in favor of). Yes, you can be a Bardian.
Ranger: This is what I built! It is based on Sage and Bone (movement around the field/dodging stuff) and it is Agility-based, including for spellcasting, which is a MASSIVE help (as is, again, the fact that CON isn't a thing.) The subclasses are basically being really good at navigation, or animal companion. Most importantly to me you can be a ranger with a longsword and you are not penalized; Bone works with either ranged weapons or melee.
Rogue: Midnight (stealth/disguise/assassination spells and skills) and Grace-based. Yes, rogue is by default a spellcaster, which does help a LOT with the vibes for me. One subclass is basically about having lots of connections (as a spy or criminal might) and the other is about magical slinking about. Hiding/sneak attack are also streamlined. I will admit I'm still more interested in…almost everything else, but I think it evened out a lot of rogue weaknesses.
Seraph: Splendor (healing/divine magic) and Valor. This is your Paladin equivalent. It is strength-based for casting, again making hybrid classes way less stressful. Questions for this area also incredible; you do have something not unlike a lay on hands pool as well. Your subclasses are being able to fly and do extra damage; or being able to make your melee weapon do ranged attacks and also some extra healing stuff, the latter of which is my favorite. Yasha vibes from this, honestly. Single downside is this is the only class where they recommend you dump Knowledge. I will not, and I never will. Now that I don't have to make sure CON is high? I am for REAL never giving myself less than a +1 Knowledge in this game.
Sorcerer: Arcana (raw nature of magic/elemental vibes) and Midnight based. Yes, sorcerers and rogues now share a vibe, for your convenient….less enthused feelings. Instinct-based, which intrigues me, and the core features are in fact really good. The two subclasses are either one that focuses on metamagic abilities, or one that is elemental based. I would play this for a long-running game, though it's not my favorite, and I can't say that for D&D sorcerer (except divine soul).
Warrior: Blade and Bone, and the recommended build is Agility but you could do a strength build. Fighter! One subclass is about doing damage and one is about the hope/fear mechanics core to the game that I have NOT talked much about. I will admit, the hybrid martials and Guardian are more interesting to me but you do have good battle knowledge.
Wizard: Codex and Splendor. Wizards can heal in this system; farewell, I will be doing nothing else (jk). Knowledge-based, and you can either go hardcore expertise in knowledge, or be a battle wizard.
Other scattered thoughts: healing is not as big a deal here; there is no pure cleric class! There is also no monk, warlock, or artificer. There is not a way to do monk as a weaponless class really though you might be able to flavor the glowing rings as a monk weapon and play a warrior. Wizard, meanwhile, with the right experiences and high finesse, would allow for some artificer flavor. Cleric and Warlock are the two tough ones and I will admit those are tricky; I feel like you'd have to multiclass (which you cannot do until level 5) between perhaps seraph and a caster class and you're still going to come off very paladin.
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Oh I saw you answer a question about lecturing so I'd like to ask another! I am a postgrad student but miraculously landed a job as an instructor in my uni for an elective module on Language and Culture for Beginners for undergrads. I was all like "wohoooo that's great I know this shit" until I discovered there were going to be 20 people in my class so now I'm like 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 because it's my first time teaching and what if they eat me alive. What if no one collaborates on the module I've designed to be interactive. What if no one caressssssssssssss I'd wilt like a flower 😭
Well, the great thing about uni is, these are adult learners who want to be here and are paying a lot to do so, so the chances of total non-engagement are low and outright refusal even lower. And if they do, you're under no obligation to keep anyone in the class, so you can boot them out if they're disruptive.
(In five years, this has yet to happen to me. The closest I've come was two guys who just wanted to chat, but saying to them "Lads, I don't know if you've noticed, but someone has built a lecture hall around you" worked a charm, and then they apologised and paid attention.)
So, the odds are staggeringly in your favour that you will not be cannibalised! You'll be absolutely fine on that count.
The engagement levels - that's a more reasonable concern, though again, remember that they've chosen to be here. This isn't high school - they're interested in the subject, and in what you have to say. So, you need to just make sure you're doing all the things that boost engagement. Examples:
NOTHING ON THIS EARTH switches students off faster than when the lecturer is bored by the subject. Regardless of your personal views on any given part of the material, to them you must be visibly and obviously Super Interested In The Subject at all times.
Human attention spans experience a lapse every 10-18 minutes - this is why TED Talks are that long. Change your learning activity in time with this. If you're doing straight lecturing for 10 minutes, then throw out a question to the class - "So what is everyone's experience of this? How might this be applied to X situation? What would do do if this happened to you?" etc. Or a research task - give them 10 minutes to look up a set of terms in groups, and then report back to the class. Your next slide could be the one that then explains the definitions of those terms yourself, but it gives them a bit of variety, and a bit of self-learning
Do they look like they're flagging? Get them up and moving. Ask a question like "So which of you agree with X, which agree with Y?" Instead of hands up, make them get up and go to different sides of the room. Then ask them to explain their reasoning. (Be aware of disabilities when doing this)
Give them activities to work on in groups. It's great for applied learning anyway, but also for helping them bond with each other, and it keeps them more awake and engaged. But also:
Students are much more likely to pay attention when they can see why the material they're learning is relevant. If it feels like a filler lesson, they won't pay attention. This is one reason of many that a class of 20 will work for you, actually - that's small enough that you can get to know these students, and what fields they've come from, and what they want to move into. If one or two seem disengaged, find out how to emphasise the relevance of their fields to this course, and vice versa.
And on that note, call on their experience! That's the glory of adult education - these are people who have lived lives, even if only for 18 years. Call on that. Example: my field is the environment, but this year, we have a farmer on the course. That's an absolute gift to class discussions, because if we're talking about land management practices, she can describe the socio-economic pressures farmers are under to do poor practices in the name of Line Goes Up far better than I can.
You will learn to spot the quiet ones. These ones are listening and learning, but shit scared of standing out. You might be tempted to call on them directly to answer questions, but this will make them shrivel in an attempt to seem smaller so you won't attack. Instead, draw them in by going around the class to ask the same question, and come to the quiet ones towards the end. This gives them time to realise that the question is coming, and lets them formulate an answer; they'll also be less scared of Getting It Wrong if they see the variety of answers everyone else is giving
On that note: There Are No Stupid Questions. Not in your class. You need to actively encourage the students to think that it's a safe learning space, and that includes asking things that might be the dumbest fucking question you've ever heard in your life; doesn't matter, you still answer it with the same gravity as any other. In This House We Love And Support Each Other.
If you truly think they won't collaborate properly, the trick is to have a fall back. It's very unlikely that they won't, but just have a plan B in case.
Either way... honestly, there's a reason I always tell people that, while I'm a lecturer, I could never be a teacher. Adult education is easy mode. You'll be fine - you know your shit, you're already planning fun collaborative activities, you've got this.
And if it doesn't work out, and I mean this very genuinely and honestly - a huge part of teaching is figuring out what works and what doesn't work for the students. Your job is work out how to fit the knowledge you hold into the uniquely-shaped holes in their heads, and that will be slightly different every time. You've got them for the whole module - you can afford to take a breath and try again if they bounce off of your first attempt. That's not a sign that you can't do it - that is the job. Getting it right first time requires a big component of luck, even using the tricks above.
So. Good luck! And enjoy it - the students can also tell if you're having a blast
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puppy love
puppy love | yandere!mark grayson x afab!reader | MULTI-CHAP: 2
chapter 1
cw; DARK CONTENT!!! MDNI!!! reader is neurodivergent, ableism, growing up is messy & adults suck, angst, niceguy™/slight incel mark, childhood friend/bully!mark, mark gets his powers sooner, teeny tiny implications of pseudo incest (blink and you'll miss it), violent rape, threats of violence, & canon typical violence, stalking, implied murder, gender & body dysphoria, mentions/implications of disordered eating, mark teases reader about their body once, overall asshole mark, implied grooming (mark handles it but he's a lil bitch about it later), so, victim blaming, misogyny, the inexplicable horrors of being afab, objectification, sexualization
about; . . i am not the boy you knew
and you are dead to me
you watch someone you know
grow into static company
- boy (alex g)
2.
your chest ached.
with changing seasons, countless birthdays, the broadening of your consciousness brought an expansion of your body. growing in places that made you walk with a slouch and had your hands tugging at the front of your shirt. the shorts you'd wear during summer turned into your shame whenever your parent(s) would ask you to go and change for something more. . 'appropriate'.
ridiculous, you thought. how could they be inappropriate? they were your favorite pair.
or they used to be.
a man old enough to be your father leered at you while you were out riding your bike. you took them off as soon as you got home. you're sure they sit at the bottom of your closet to this day.
your hands got bigger. your fingers stretched. you got taller. people often told you you looked like your parent(s). you didn't see it.
despite the passage of time, mark was still there.
your parent(s) had long received the grayson's blessing to allow him refuge in your home: playdates whenever he wasn't preoccupied with baseball and important school work. but as the pages of the calendars turned, your parent(s) worried your little playdates had gone on for too long.
however, much like the dilemma your teachers had, no one had the heart - nor the energy - to separate you two. the two of you were entering the age where interest in romance grew and your parent(s) worried. it was cute, at first. when a 6 year old mark would follow you home and your parent(s) would have to contact the graysons, lest they turn the world upside down searching for their one son. or the time in which he'd brought ring-pops and claimed you'd gotten married.
but the fact of the matter was that mark had changed, too. you didn't see it at first. didn't even imagine it could've ever been that way.
mark was a growing boy.
there was evidence of that etched in markings on the wall next to your bedroom door: comparisons of height done in pencil. one with your initial. the other in his. you'd always be surprised when he kept surpassing you inch by inch. and you'd make a face whenever you'd - yet again - failed to keep up. and after your parent(s) wearily watched the two of you engage in hand size comparisons, the door to your bedroom was to remain open at all times.
but the truth of the matter was that there was simply no need.
mark was hardly ever in your bedroom those days. and much to your disappointment - well, why were you? it's not like you didn't see it coming - he'd gotten friends of his own. friends who grew with him in height and mannerism. who'd say big, nasty words and who's eyes would follow girls down the hallway. who he'd sit and rough house with until teachers had enough and sat him next to the most 'well behaved student' - you - despite his huffing. friends who wouldn't spare you a glance even though you were walking with mark. who'd talk directly to mark as if you weren't even there and steal him away with excuses of baseball practice. or simply because they could.
and mark would go.
and once, you felt your face going hot when one of them scoffed, "sorry, are we stealing you away from your girlfriend?"
mark returned the laugh - you didn't know if he knew you heard or not. you also didn't wanna know - and said, "ew."
laughter.
and if you were anyone else you would've thought about throwing his own baseball bat against his back. but all it did was make you sad. it made you angry. it made you embarrassed. and you didn't know why.
mark was a growing boy.
you were growing, too.
but you wanted to stay little for as long as you could. and the dread that came with buying newer clothes each passing year left you with a bitter taste in your mouth.
you obsessed over magazines. the pretty girls on social media who's hair looked perfect. who's teeth were whiter. who's skin looked painted on. you're sure
the others in school shared your sentiment.
soon, you had to preoccupy yourself with shaving your arms or your legs or drinking large amounts of water in order to feel something in your tummy.
but mark. .mark never had to worry about that. he was a growing boy. he didn't have to worry about clothes or skincare. he didn't have to watch what he ate.
he was a growing boy.
who cared if he ate half a dozen donuts in one sitting? he was a growing boy.
who cared if all he did was run a few steps in baseball and eat like a chipmunk all the while remaining the same? he was a growing boy!
who cared if he could burp and sneeze loudly, sit like he'd bought the planet, and go outside at night?
.. certainly not you.
but sometimes you wish -
"it's so fucking hot." mark mumbled, hanging off your bed, voice muffled around his - seventh? - donut.
you stared down at the bowl of cotton candy grapes on your lap.
your teeth ached with need.
- . . you were a. . it was easier.
"yeah." you said, squeezing one of the grapes between your index and thumb until the flesh oozed out, shiny and sticky. "i know."
"you almost done?" he asked, turning onto his stomach and wiping the icing off his hands onto your bedding.
the homework sheets in front of you were nearly done. but you'd need a lot more time to finish homework for the both of you. you wonder if your parents knew that mark coming over to do homework just consisted of him distracting you while you did the work.
and maybe they did.
they were always so forgiving to people who weren't you.
in their eyes, you'd ask for advice if he was really taking advantage of you. and none of that whiny complaining of him being too rough, either.
you should've known what you were getting yourself into when you befriended a boy.
boys will be boys. right?
then, he doesn't know his own strength when you were mad at him when one of his playful shoves sent you staggering in front of his friends.
or, he was trying to be funny! lighten up. when he'd grabbed you and groped at your fleshy sides - also in front of his friends.
and most importantly, the two of you had been best friends for so long, there was no reason why something as innocent as you doing a couple of favors for him could cause such turmoil.
you should be nicer to him. i mean, how many other friends do you have?
and that's what the excuses were about.
your parent(s) felt indebted to him. after all, they didn't have the energy to deal with the tides of your mental state: the complex emotions, highs and lows, that only seemed to become that much more apparent as you entered your teenage years.
you imagined how they must’ve thought of you.
it couldn't be that much different than how everyone else did.
mark is so patient, so good at babysitting poor, socially inept you.
but as long as they didn't have to do the heavy lifting, they figured letting mark keep you was their safest bet. it did you good. mark didn't seem burdened. if anything, he seemed happy. he enjoyed taking care of you. and you knew he did. in fact, when he wasn't around his friends. . he was the mark you grew up with.
kind of.
he was still into the same stuff: comics and superhero movies. as long as it was just the two of you. . it wasn't that bad. he cared for you. and he'd show he wasn't all gone when he'd warned you about boys - who, ironically, seemed to perfectly describe his friend group.
don't date them, he'd say, and it reminded you of when you'd gotten that ring pop and he told you you were his.
his protective demeanor wasn't a problem when he had the strength of a six year old. but mark wasn't six anymore. the jealous fits weren't as endearing. he was rowdier. moodier. and he'd grown into his body. . meaning he had the mass to back his words up.
but you weren't cowed by him. not much, anyway.
which caused you to push away the pile of homework and snap, "why don't you do your own fucking homework? it's too much."
you knew the most mark would do was sulk and pout. that's all he ever did when you'd be preoccupied with other things. . or grouped with the opposite sex. but there'd be moments in which you'd caught the flicker of darkness in his eyes whenever the two of you had a disagreement.
when you said no.
"i'm tired after baseball." he said, slowly, like it's something you were supposed to know.
"yeah, well, i'm tired, too!" you huffed.
"yeah? of doing what?"
"of thinking for the both of us."
"you calling me dumb?"
"you said it." you muttered under your breath, doodling onto the page to distract you from the annoyance bubbling inside you.
you didn't notice him getting up. he'd have a habit of sneaking up on you. maybe he was just quiet. or you were just too absent minded to notice. but either way, before you knew it, you were lifted off the floor from around your waist.
you don't even get a chance to react before he pinned you to your bed. the shock causing your face to grow hot before you begin to thrash beneath him, spitting out insults and trying to hit him in any soft spot you could.
but he was faster, stronger.
repeating, "i'm stupid?" while fighting you off like it was nothing.
he'd always had better stamina, and soon, you're tired and pinned beneath him.
and then he. .
just froze above you.
mark's world had gone still. he could sense everything. the air shifted around him and all his attention landed on you. he could feel weak throbbing beneath the palm of his hands as he held your wrists in a two handed grip above your head.
he could smell your perfumed skin. hear the blood soaring through your veins. the heat from your face warmed him like a furnace. and the realization slammed into him like a freight train.
he'd gotten his powers.
you'd brought them out of him.
“um. can I get up now?” you'd whispered from beneath him, flustered. your eyes narrowed towards your door, the one your parent(s) demanded you to keep open at all times.
mark blinked.
then, shuffled off of you with burning cheeks.
you watched him hastily sling his school bag over his shoulder and waddle out of the room. confused, you called after him - you had a test to study for for christ's sake! - but he didn't stop.
you scrambled after him.
but like years before, you couldn't keep up.
he was gone before you even made it out into the hallway.
#mark grayson#mark grayson x reader#invincible#invincible x reader#yandere mark grayson#yandere mark grayson x reader#WEE WOO WEE WOO#alex g brainrot
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Just made this blog to post random smut I have in my notes app. I hope you like them x
Bill Kaulitz as an exchange student looking for an English tutor ;)
You woke up around ten am, looking out your dorm window contemplating the rain hitting the glass. After about five minutes you finally got up a started to get ready for your classes, you looked at your schedule that was hooked above your desk, today you had English C1, German B1 and English literature. You were a languages enthusiast you had always been interested in learning new languages you loved communicating with others so picking a languages major was the only right choice for you. Since you lived close to campus at 10:50 you started walking to class hopping to be there by 11. The cold morning breeze hit your face making your cheeks feel cold and look slightly red, the rain had stopped by now, but some drops fell occasionally from trees or rooftops. After around 7 minutes of walking, you finally got inside and went straight to class. You didn’t have many friends, just enough to keep you company during the long days at university. As you were approaching the big classroom you saw one of your friends that was a part of some sort of Student Council which welcomed exchange students, of course she was always busy talking to people, but she never made you feel left out. As you got closer to her, she immediately spotted you giving you a big smile and you smiled back at her.
“Good morning, Y/N!”
“Good morning, Amelie.”
“I’ll get in the classroom just in a second I’m just handing some fliers to the exchange students.” She said while still smiling at you.
You nodded as you looked behind her to peek at the exchange students, when one of them really caught your eye. A tall, slim man with long black hair was looking directly at you making you feel slightly intimidated by his aura. After engaging in this staring contest with him for a few seconds you got inside of the amphitheatre taking a seat close to the edge.
Around ten minutes passed, and you saw Amelie walking inside the classroom looking for you, you waved at her as she gave you an expression of relief. She sat next you exhaling deeply and looking at you right after.
“Lots of work?” You ask.
“Quite a bit, but you know me I love meeting new people and try to give them the best university experience even if it’s just for a semester”.
She said smiling with her eyes closed. She truly had a beautiful heart.
You smiled softly again, you liked to talk to people, but you also loved you alone time and well Amelie barely had any due to all her responsibilities and you weren’t about to sacrifice that, but you did help her anytime you could.
Then she looked at you, she looked a bit..embarrassed…you didn’t know how to describe her expression well enough.
“Y/N can I please ask you to do me a favor.”
Your face got a bit hot at the sudden request, but you nodded firmly.
She quickly exhaled and began to talk.
“So there’s this one German exchange student that speaks very poor English and he came to me asking if anyone would be able to tutor him so that he could communicate better with people and to also help him pass his classes while he’s here”
“Why me?” You bluntly ask.
“Seriously? You’re a top student in English and you’re practically fluent in German you’re literally perfect to be his tutor!”
You kept silent for a bit.
“Listen I know you like to have your alone time specially after classes but if you could spare 2 hours let’s say…3 times a week to help him it wouldn’t harm you…”
“Also he’s willing to pay...”
“It’s not about money Amelie. But since you’re my friend I’ll see what I can do to help him”
She smiled and thanked you.
4 pm
After your tree classes Amelie asked you to meet her at the student’s office so you could schedule a time to tutor him. You kept wondering who this German student might be. You entered the office closing the door behind you when you saw him. The tall slim man who was staring at you this morning. You got close to him trying not to blush again, Amelie appeared behind you making you jump a little.
“Hi! I’m so happy you came; this is Bill your new student.” She said giggling, also making Bill smile, you sat next to him.
“Hallo“ he said smiling.
“Was geht“ you replied.
“I’m sure you’ll get along well” Amelie interrupted “So” she said while sliding you a piece of paper “These are the days that Bill is available for tutoring so you can see if it fits your schedule”.
Tuesday from 5pm-7pm
Thursday from 4pm-6pm
Friday from 8pm-10pm
You looked through your schedule then looked up at them smiling slightly.
“This is fine”
Bill looked very excited and so did Amelie.
You and Bill exchanged phone numbers and you three walked out.
«I can’t thank you enough Y/N! » Exclaimed Amelie.
Bill kept his eyes on you the whole time, you felt his gaze scanning your body it was hard to admit it, but you loved the feeling. You waved goodbye to both, and you tree parted ways. After the same 7-minute walk you did everyday you finally entered your dorm room and threw yourself on the bed. You closed your eyes starting to feel sleepy when suddenly your phone vibrated.
Texts
Bill: «Hope to see you tomorrow Süβe ;)»
You stupidly smiled at the text quickly snapping out of your daydreaming and giving him a quick reply.
«Yep, don’t be late :)» you placed your phone down and fell asleep a few minutes later.
You woke up the next day, it was a sunny morning today the warm sun felt comforting on your skin but it was still as cold as yesterday. You checked your phone for the time and noticed another text from Bill, your heart raced a little.
Texts
Bill
«Good morning, Miss what should I bring to class today? » you laughed a little at the nickname he called you.
«Your total concentration and maybe a notebook and a pen would be nice».
«Yes ma’am» he replied.
You only had 2 classes today so around 4pm you would be free so had an hour to prepare some sort of exercises for Bill to practice after class.
4:50 pm
After putting on some comfortable clothes you quickly set up your desk so that Bill had space to sit down, when suddenly you heard a nock on your door, the noise startled you but you quickly calmed down remembering it was probably Bill. You looked in the mirror for a second fixing your hair and makeup and then opened the door.
He was leaning on the side of the door frame towering over you as you stared at his figure.
“I thought you were going to leave me out here.” he said pouting his lips in a playful way.
You just laugh in response and tell him to get in.
“Do you want a water or maybe a snack?” You asked trying to make him feel more comfortable.
“Water please!”
You grabbed a bottle from your mini fridge and gave it to him.
“Danke.” He said
“In here we only speak English ok Bill?” You replied playfully.
“Yes ma’am”
You rolled your eyes and sat down next to him.
“So I prepared a list of things that I thought would be good for you to practice.”
You showed him the list: conjugating verbs, irregular verbs, pronunciation, correct way of writing sentences etc..
He read trough it as his eyes widened.
“So much….”
“I’m here to help you Bill we need to work on these aspects if you want to get better.”
He looked like a sad puppy he was so cute you couldn’t help yourself.
“Anddd if you do a good job I’ll even reward you.”
He look at you with a little grin.
“Can I choose the reward?”
You tilted your head and lifted your right eyebrow a little
“Don’t you think you’re asking for too much already?”
His cheeks got pink, you didn’t know if it was from embarrassment or shyness but he looked so handsome like that.
You cleared your throat and stared to show him some work sheets on verb conjugation.
5:45 pm
“Professor…”
“No need to call me that Bill don’t be silly.” You said while giggling a bit.
“I can’t remember this one. I hate irregular verbs!” He exclaimed slightly mad.
“You can do it just think hard. After you finish that we can take a small break.”
His face instantly lite up as he worked hard on his paper. After a few minutes he finished it and as you corrected it,you told him he could take a break.
All of a sudden you feel arms wrap around you shoulders.
“Y/N are you done correcting? I thought you were taking the break with me.”
You gulped hard while you looked at his hands hanging from your shoulders.
“Bill…I need to correct this before we move on you know that..”
“But…” he slightly hesitated to speak “…I want you to pay attention to me”
His words made you bite your lower lip lightly.
“You can sit with me if you would like.”
He pulled his chair to sit down.
“Not there Bill.” You pulled yourself away from the table a little and placed your hand on your exposed thigh.
“Sit here.”
His face now painted red and his mouth slightly hanging open, he looked at you and you gave him a smile of approval. He walked over to you positioning himself on your lap. You placed one of your hands around his lower stomach making him exhale nervously.
“Are you comfortable?” You whispered. He nodded and kept still while you finished your work.
6 pm
“All done,you did quite well Bill I’m impressed.” your hand caressing his thigh.
“All thanks to you..” his voice slightly cracking.
“Are you ok Bill? If you don’t feel comfortable please tell me.”
“Y-yes I’m fine Y/N”
You looked over his shoulder and saw the evident tent in his pants,you licked your lips and slowly moved your hand up his tight.
He let out a shaky breath.
“What’s wrong mein liebe?” You asked innocently.
“Nichts…” his breath getting heavier each time your hand approached his erection but never touching it without his consent.
With that you took your hand off his thigh and flipped through some more work sheets.
“Warum hast du aufgehört!?” His tone slightly higher.
“English please.” You said teasing.
He scoffed “Why did you stop…?”
“Stop what Bill?” You whisper close to his neck.
“You stopped touching me…”
“You want me to touch you?”
He nodded, his breath getting heavier.
“But where Bill?”
He stopped for a second getting embarrassed to ask you to touch his throbbing cock that made his tight pants feel very uncomfortable.
“Tell me Bill…” You whispered in his ear starting to kiss his neck while rubbing his thighs again.
“Touch me between my thighs please…” he begged in a low tone.
“I couldn’t hear you baby can you repeat that?” You wanted to tease him until he got to his limit.
“Please touch my cock…It hurts so bad.”
“That’s a good boy, so obedient.”
You moved your hand up his tight slowly palming his erection through his pants.
You unzipped them and pulled his boxers down as his hard cock sprung out of them hitting his lower stomach. For such a slim guy he was definitely bigger than average. The pink head of his cock was coated in his precum,it twitched quite often desperately seeking some sort of stimulation. You hand wrapped around his base slowly pumping him, he whimpered and whined,your slow touch making him feel more agony rather than pleasure.
“Please…faster.” He begged,breathing heavily. You quickly complied to his request since he was being so well behaved. You stroked him faster as your wrist started to get sore but the erotic sounds he was making were enough to make up push through the discomfort. With one hand you massed his balls, and with the other you circled his tip with your thumb, he moaned loudly with the doble stimulation.
“Sshh keep it down Bill, you don’t want the whole dorm to know how much of a whore you are.”
“Sheiße….i can’t- I’m so close-“
“Cum for me liebe.” You ordered.
With a few more strokes he came all over your hands coating them in his thick semen.
“Thank you-thank-you..for helping me cum…” he kept thanking you as he laid his head back on your shoulder so that he could look at you.
You kissed him a few times complementing him, telling him he did a very good job and how he was such a good boy.
You helped him clean up and walked him to the door since it was already past time and you didn’t want your dorm mates to suspect anything.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at university Bill.”
“Yeah…text me when you get there.” He gave you a big smile.
“Will do.” You smiled as you pulled him down for one last kiss, this one being a little longer than the previous. You opened the door for him and watched him walk down the corridor looking back at you a few times, when you lost sight of him you closed the door and went back to your room.
#tokio hotel#tom kaulitz smut#bill kaulitz smut#tom kaulitz#bill kaulitz#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel x you#smut#dom reader#bill kaulitz x reader#bill kaulitz x you#bill kaulitz x y/n#bill kaulitz x female reader
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messages meant to reach you
1-2-3 (left to right)
I DO NOT OWN THESE IMAGES
Hi guys! heres your weekly reading :) ! I hope you enjoy this and it resonates for you, also I found these pics and thought they were so cute lol ! Thanks for stopping by! <3
Pile 1
“does it ever make you sad to know that was 7 summers ago?”
(The Lovers; 7 of wands; knight of cups (rx); knight of pentacles (rx); 9 of pentacles ; 6 of swords (rx))
Hi pile 1! Before I even started channeling, my cat was very interested in my tarot set up which usually he isn’t so maybe you have a kitty? Perhaps one that passed that misses you and wants you to know they are always with you. For you guys I feel a sense of heavy grief either in the recent past or the present. I also feel like you’ve been avoiding your own feelings about the whole situation. I feel a sense of disappointment from you that things didn’t work out the way you wanted. I feel like you either broke up with someone due to differences in worldviews or you might have had someone pass recently that you thought you had more time with. First of all if someone did pass recently, I am so sorry and I’m sending you so much love and light. But I do feel like this might've been a sudden thing, without warning, and you just want to continue on with life without processing just how traumatic it was for you. This person wants you to know that they love you so much and that when you're ready to unpack your grief and trauma they will be with you whether you realize it or not. Now if you had a break up recently I see this person really missing you. They dream about you and want you all to themselves again. I feel like they have pride though and won’t approach you again. I also feel like you’re genuinely done with this person though. Like this isn’t the first time you guys have had fights about this stuff and they really pushed you to your limit. This might’ve happened a while ago too and they’re just holding onto it and pulling on your energy. I really do feel like they’re wallowing in regret about how they treated you but like not enough to change. Like they regret it but they feel like they had to which is so fucked up in its own right. But I digress. I do think an energy cleanse would be best for you, however you choose to cleanse your energy and space will do. I also say get rid of any items they gifted/gave to you. I’m proud of you for knowing your worth and letting bygones be bygones.
Signs: nice house; highways; red rusty pickup truck; red in general; water; creeks; fireflies; old dock; tall can beers; sentimental views (?)
Pile 2
“i aint even got the miles to trip on you”
(2 of pentacles (rx); THe Lovers (rx); 3 of pentacles (rx); Wheel of Fortune (rx); knight of pentacles; 9 of pentacles (rx))
Hi pile 2! So for you guys I actually had to restart your pile a few times it was hard for me to really connect and get a message for you guys but when I did I understood why. The message coming through is from someone you simply don’t want to hear from lol. It’s probably an old partner that’s begged and pleaded to be back in your life multiple times and you just don’t care, which is such a power move. But yea overall this person just throws a pity party for themselves and how they lost a good thing and it sucks to be them I guess. But I wanted to get a message for you from your guides at the very least so heres that! All in all your guides are very happy and proud of you!! You’ve really put in the work pile 2! I see you enjoying financial blessings and i feel like your heart and mind have found peace. Whether your with someone or not I see you ina state of stability that you never thought you’d get to. Maybe things feel a little monotonous for you but I do feel like you enjoy your life and where you’re at right now! I also feel like you guys are experiencing things you never thought you would, like an engagement or getting the promotion/job you always wanted! I keep hearing that you made life your bitch LOL!! I also see you guys paying no mind to wagging tongues and you let people think whatever they want about you because at the end of the day you just don’t care. You not only enjoy your job but you enjoy your hobby’s your house, your car, and so on and so forth. I see though that you guys should work on being proud of yourself because YOU did that! No one else did!! Go treat yourself to something nice and sit back and relax pile 2 you deserve it fr!!
Signs: restart button; push to start car; nice handwriting; minecraft; jeans; interior design; iron; birch wood; big healthy plants; big windows; elevators; CAPRICORN
Pile 3
"i'm in too deep and i'm trying to keep up above in my head instead of going under"
(Judgment (rx); 6 of swords (rx); 4 of swords; 10 of swords; 2 of pentacles (rx); knight of swords (rx))
Hello Pile 3!! For you guys I see that you’re a really unique person and don’t really care about people's thoughts. I feel for your message though that you might be running in the wrong crowd or with the wrong people. I feel like you choose people based on whether or not they are in the same subgenre as you, or present the way you do. Which is understandable thinking if someone dresses the same they might have the same values but I see that the people in your life don’t. I also see that they just don’t care about you as much as you care about them. I believe that you know this somewhat or you have gut feelings about this, however I think you’re hoping one day they’ll pick you. I do see though that you know that they won’t and that you know you’re not meant to be there. I see that you just want to fit in with a group of people so badly, that you need validation that people like you. But honey, lots of people like you!! They just aren’t presenting the way you are. I see that for lack of better term “conventional” people admire your bold and unique expression of yourself. I see that you have prejudice towards these people and immediately put them in a box they you guys wouldn’t get along. Lemme tell you though as much as you advocate for not judging a book by it’s cover I feel you doing that to others. Maybe this is apart of your shadow that you need to work on. I get quite a youthful energy from you though, maybe you’re in highschool? You don’t have to change everything about your life tomorrow but you can make small steps. The only person who can make active change in your life is you! So get out there and do as much as you can without regrets! I promise you’ll enjoy the things that you didn’t think you would. Plus life is meant for mistakes and learning from them. Don’t let others perception of you ruin your experience on this earth! You got this pile 3, you’re a beautiful soul, let others see it.
Signs: 111 ; wizard of oz; cheshire cat; leather; vests; studs; piercings; boots; alt fashion; old sedan; empty parking lots; cigarettes; nose rings; bleached hair
#spotify#pick a card reading#reading tarot#channeled message#channeled song#channeling#divination#law of attraction#pac#pap#spirituality#spiritual#spiritualgrowth#tarotcommunity#tarot reading#tarot#tarot cards#tarot card reading#channeled art
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Ectoberhaunt 2023. Day Nine
"Dragon"
Ao3 and as a stand-alone
“Would you like a drink, Danny?”
“Just some pop, please.”
Danny’s boss snorted but accepted easily enough, handing Danny a can of cool Pepsi whilst he twirled his whiskey.
“So, do you like your job, Danny?” His boss asked without preambles.
Danny didn’t really need to think about it, he answered honestly, “Yeah, it’s chill. The pay is good and I’ve been kinda nocturnal since I was fourteen so the late hours are no problem for me. The tips are great too, and the patrons are… wild, yes,” his boss huffed a small laugh at Danny’s understatement of the night-club goers, but didn’t interrupt him, “but no one has, like, tried to punch me or something, so I don’t mind.”
“That’s good.” His boss said softly and drank some more of his whiskey. “Look, Danny, contrary to what you may have heard of me, I am not in the habit of conquering other realms and enthralling their rulers, so know that you are not my vassal and I don’t want your Kingdom. I don’t even want my Kingdom! I’ve quit! But! You don’t look like you want to leave.”
“I would very much like to keep my job, if that’s at all possible.”
Lucifer Morningstar, owner of the nightclub Lux and Danny’s current boss (so far, at least), put his tumbler aside and gave his full attention to the young man sitting across from him.
“I don’t want you to leave, either.” The Devil said. “You’re a good employee and even Maze likes you!” He said this like it was either the biggest honour or the biggest abnormality.
Mazikeen was cool, even if a tad violent, so he took the comment both ways.
“But you do know that it’s not a good look for the King of Ghosts to be working for the King of Hell, right? No matter that I’m retired or that you are alive.” He rolled his eyes at the last bit.
“Yeah. That’s, I’ll get an earful for that.” It would be from the Observants, though, and he really didn’t care for their opinion, so it would just be a minor annoyance.
“And whether you stay at Lux or not, the pantheons have certainly taken notice.” Mister Morningstar rolled his eyes again and looked at Danny with pity, which, yeah, inter-pantheon relations was not something the Ghost Zone wanted or that Danny was interested in engaging with.
“Ah, yes, the rammies.” He made a face at that. He really didn’t want any god (lowercase g, all of them) snooping in his realm to see what his relationship with the Devil was.
But if shit was going to hit the fan anyway, why not keep his well-paid job?
“It’s not a problem for me,” the Devil kept saying, “I’m happily retired! For you, on the other hand, they’ll see you as my vassal if you don’t really get anything out of this, –no, a weekly salary with legal benefits means nothing to these beings.” He said before Danny could interrupt. “If there was something I could just give you as a boon–” He stopped and a large smile slowly spread on his face. “That’s it! I am a genius!” He stood up and began pacing back and forth whilst Danny just clutched his can of pop.
“Uh, what is it?” Asked Danny, sipping his pepsi.
“I will give you Hell!” Ignoring his employee choking on his drink, the Devil carried on. “We can say you are my apprentice, or you can be my actual apprentice if you want me to teach you the ropes, and I will give you the Key of Hell and you can add it to the Ghost Zone! No one will be stupid enough to give you any trouble for it, and I will finally get my annoying family off my back.”
“But they’ll be on mine!” Danny protested once he stopped choking. “I don’t want to have Hell! I didn’t even want to be King of the Ghost Zone, I was just the dumbass that defeated the old one! I- I just wanna get through college, afford my half-life, and become an astronaut…” He put his head in one hand, the other one holding the can against his forehead.
Why this? Why couldn’t he be fired for sleeping on the bar, like a normal person?
“Oh, please, Danny, you’re a young King, hardworking too; you must want more than that.” Mister Morningstar looked him in the eye not obstructed by pop and spoke slowly, with intent, “Tell me, Danny, what do you desire?”
“To protect everyone I care about, anyone that needs it, to help them.”
“Mm, kind of basic and boring but-”
“And to reach the stars, to sail through them in the infinite night.” Danny blinked hard and shook himself off. “That’s not cool, sir.”
“Dual Obsession?” The Devil said, easily ignoring Danny’s complaint. “Not very common; befitting for a King. So what you want to do is help. You can do it being King of Hell!”
“That doesn’t sound likely.” Danny’s response only made his boss’s smirk return, and then the Devil really began his sales pitch.
How, if Danny became the new King of Hell, he could totally help redeem the souls of the damned, and since he was already King of the Ghost Zone, he could take the damned souls of the innocent there if Heaven refused to open the Gates for them, wankers that they were.
“What do you mean innocent souls in Hell?”
That only made the Devil lean in cheerily, “Oh?” He asked. “Haven’t you heard?”
Sold souls, of course. From people who sold their soul to delay their loved one’s death, to wronged firstborns whose parents wanted power no matter the cost. All of them, in Hell.
“That’s not fair.” Danny said with clenched fists.
“Well, it’s not like I have a neutral realm where runaway, wronged souls could take refuge in.” Mister Morningstar said, knowing he had the young adult hooked.
“I-” Danny tried to speak, but felt his core thrumming writhing him. He wanted to help. “I will… consult it, first, it’s- it’s too much.”
His boss nodded sagely, and once again looked him in the eye. “I will extend your insurance to your family and include dental.”
Danny would still consult it with Clockwork and his friends, but he knew he was sold.
#Danny Phantom#Danny Fenton#ectoberhaunt23#day nine#dragon#ghostly-scrypts#cross posted on ao3#CrossOver#Danny Phantom CrossOver#Lucifer (TV)#Lucifer Morningstar#surprise crossover#Ghost King Danny
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I know this is just sort of the nature of Tumblr and the internet in general, but I genuinely deeply, deeply resent the way reactionary, inflammatory behavior tends to get the most instant gratification type of attention from both those who agree and disagree with the subject matter in conversations about transandrophobia. It's blatantly obvious and it's childish / teenagerish in a way I am deeply uninterested in. Which sucks because it absolutely comes at the cost of the state of the transandrophobia tag being filled with types of rhetoric I find really distasteful.
It's part of why I've shifted focus into generally just posting more about gender and feminism with a focus on trans masculinity, rather than specifically posting about transandrophobia explicitly honestly.
I think a lot about an anon I got forever ago that essentially accused me of having a "holier than thou complex" or something along those lines and maybe there is truth to the fact that I like being mostly on my own over here in my own corner doing my own thing posting about feminism and gender - but I also genuinely just don't see any merit or meaningful function in being intentionally inflammatory or argumentative or poking bears with sticks for the sake of engagement. It's purposeless beyond the mini dopamine hit a ton of notes and support gets you and that's very much not the reason I made and continue to use this blog, you know?
It'll be interesting to watch though because I'm already starting to see a decline that is really actually echoing what happened with transmedicalist spaces in the 2010's.
A lot of transmed spaces, at least when I was initially being introduced to them, were actually full of a lot of people who were passionate about understanding more about medical transition - particularly the destigmatization surrounding trans masculine medical transition. There wasn't a lot of talk about dysohoria being necessary to transness or brain sex type stuff, so much as it was a lot of guys who wanted more research into different kinds of bottom surgeries, sharing information about top surgery options, challenging biased ideas about testosterone as a scheduled drug, etc. etc.
Then those spaces started melding with truscum spaces and the people interested in genuine medical advocacy began to jump ship because the reactionaries were becoming too much to manage.
I'm definitely starting to see something similar happen right now. And you know? I'll be deeply disappointed if something like that happens to the conversation on transandrophobia, but also? I'll kind of be unsurprised - especially given the fact that I have already unfollowed folks for bordering on things like transmed rhetoric themselves the last few months.
I won't stop posting in the ways I do in my own little corner because I believe in the things I say and the work I do on and offline, but it is fascinating and sad to watch this kind of thing happen again from the sidelines.
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Hello, may I please ask for part 2 for Malleus in that isekaid villainess au? Heacanons please
"If you are a villain, then let me be your accomplice"
feat: Malleus
genre: hurt/comfort?, romance
note: sequel to “being reincarnated into a new world as the bad guy”, roughly 1.5k word count
I hear you simps. I had an idea for an interaction with the heroine but the post got kinda long so I stopped here.
The past few weeks felt like a roller-coaster. You were pushed, pulled, and blindsided by the amount of things that were happening simultaneously.
Firstly, you had to deal with the sudden proposal your family received for you, literally on the day you just had your previous engagement annulled.
Secondly, your family had to deal with the accusations of treason from multiple families, which suspiciously included the families of the capture targets.
Thirdly but probably the most concerning, your precious pen-pal and the man who sent the proposal was the Dragon King and hidden capture target of the game you were reincarnated into, Malleus Draconia. And he keeps appearing by your house to receive the answer you refuse to give yet.
“Are you upset that I am the Dragon King, dear human? Do you hate me?”
Screw him and his sulking figure right now. How does a Dragon King be so good at pouting?
After everything that has happened, you wanted nothing to do with the main protagonist and her harem and with Malleus being a capture target, he was just as liable to betray you like everyone else did. Your heart couldn’t bear any more.
You were scared, which was why you attempted to distance yourself from him with logical reasoning. You tried to convince him that marrying you was too socially damaging.
“So long as my family is suspected of treason, I cannot in good conscious marry you, Belle- King Malleus”
“Oh, is that all?” And with that, Malleus left leaving you confused. What did that mean?
Apparently that meant that Malleus had a mission to destroy what stood in the way of his beloved. Within a week, he and his aids searched for foul play regarding the accusations and soon found what he was looking for. The offenders responsible were arrested and sent to the imperial family in secret. He found something interesting but thought it would be better to hold onto this trump card for a bit.
Thus, the accusations were dropped and your family was joyous over the news. And so was Malleus, albeit for different reasons.
“What say you now, dear human?”
“P-Please distance yourself, King Malleus!”
Malleus was persistent and determined to woo you the human way if he must. With the advice he received from Lilia (poor choice, really), he attempts to win your hand in marriage.
“My young Malleus, before humans marry, they tend to court each other first”
And so he did. He would bring you expensive gifts and take you to “dates” (walks around his extravagant gardens count, right?)
“King Malleus, please-“
“Call me by my pet name, dear. I believe humans call their lovers by terms of endearment”
“That's beside the point! P-Please step back!”
“But Lilia reported that humans are fond of physical contact and close embraces? In addition, you were fond of holding my hand when we first met”
“!!”
Still, despite all of your fears, Malleus found his way into your heart and you chose to trust him despite his position as a capture target, against your better judgement.
Which was why you chose him to come with you to meet them again.
“They truly have no shame” your father seethed as your house received an invitation with the imperial seal on it, an invitation to a ball celebrating the new engagement of the prince. Your mother held you in a comforting embrace but she wore a look of great distress and rightfully so. Because it was sent as a royal invitation, to refuse is to insult the imperial house and your family was already in hot waters.
“Sweetie” your mother spoke to you worriedly to which you tried to smile to ease her worries. You weren’t happy but you knew what you had to do.
Luckily, Lilia heard of your predicament and offered a solution.
“Dear, a human’s greatest arsenal could be those they have bonds with” the wise viscount hinted. “I’m sure my King would be more than happy to accompany you”
Which brought you to where you were now, with Malleus offering a hand to you as you walked towards the castle you used to be so acquainted with.
You were quite a sight to those attending the ball, the jilted former princess candidate being escorted by one of the most powerful beings in the land. Being unable to bear their piercing stares, you started to put focus on keeping pace with your partner, tightening your hold on his arm which you realized were rather built and firm. You knew Malleus to be lean based on his game design but the feel of his arms had your mind wandering slightly if he’s more muscular than you thought. Was he this firm everywhere else?
“Dear human, are you alright? You seem deep in thought”
Your body flushed with embarrassment as you got caught drifting too deeply in your thoughts. You released your hold on Malleus and stepped away a little to cool down before the draconian man realized. Luckily, he seems none the wiser.
“So you chose to come afterall”
You flinched at the voice. You dreaded your instincts to be true but it turned out to be so. It was the prince, accompanied by his closest companions and the star of the ball, the heroine.
Swallowing your nerves, you bowed as expected towards the royal family. “As a loyal servant of the royal family, it is my duty to respond to the invitation”
However, the prince scoffed at your figure. “Even when you and your family's disgraced themselves, you call yourself loyal?”
You held back your tears but it was difficult when you could feel the heavy weight of disgust the prince held for you. Once upon a time, he was your dearest childhood friend and you thought the years the two of you spent together meant something to him. Sadly, it must have been one-sided on your part.
However, as heavy as that disgust, it was getting overwhelmed by the aura of something else. The growing anger coming from next to you.
“Young prince” your partner spoke in a warning tone, narrowing his striking green eyes. “I recall the misunderstanding was resolved and the true perpetrators were apprehended by the imperial knights”
The prince was quick to silence himself and avoided your eyes which hinted he was already aware of the arrest.
"Your anger towards my partner seems to be misguided, despite the knowledge of the true situation. Quite unbecoming for a future ruler, I must say"
Malleus continued to stare down at the shaking royal heir and let out a disappointed sigh.
“I cannot blame you, however” Malleus said which surprised both the prince and you.
The powerful fae, with gentleness contradictory to his reputation, held your hand in his. He brought your hand closer to his lips, bringing your attention, and the attention of others, to the tall man. You felt your heart jump as he smiled at you before speaking once again.
“I’ve come to understand the feeling of anger for the sake of others and the desire to protect those dear to you”
Your nerves returned tenfold as your heart was beating to the point you were nervous to think if all of the surrounding attendants was able to hear it.
Although his green eyes were soft when holding your gaze, it was quick to harden when he turned to stare down at the prince and his associates.
“But I suggest you tread carefully, young prince,” Malleus daringly warned the capture targets. “In my investigation regarding the accusations against my dear’s family, I came across something curious”
With that, the intimidating king took a step closer and leaned slightly forward, closer to the nervous prince but still situated in a way that seemed to look down at the prince.
“The families that reported the treason were in one way or another connected to that woman of yours, which begs the question if these false accusations were done for her benefit”
The prince froze and glanced at his new lover, who looked as worried as he did. No matter the power the heroine and the prince may hold, that kind of conspiracy would damage the heroine’s reputation as well as the prince and his associates who were quick to condemn your family due to these accusations. If it turned out that underhanded methods may have been used to dirty your name then…high society and the kingdom would be in an uproar.
And Malleus was counting on that.
“So…” Malleus' deep voice broke through the prince’s mental spiral. “I do hope you choose wisely before ever trying to interact with my precious one again”
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst imagines#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#malleus draconia#malleus x reader#villainess au
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I am once again going to queer analyze the fuck out of Ted Lasso, specifically the scene with Trent and Ted in the hallway at the end of Season 3, Episode 7.
Trent swoops in as the door is closing behind Ted, calls out, “TED!”, and then he runs towards Ted, who is walking away from him. Ted turns, bewildered, because here is Trent -- cool, calm, awkward Trent -- completely out of his shell like never before. There’s a spark to Trent. He’s excited, he’s rambling, he’s so close to Ted. He’s vulnerable, too, because he is laying everything he’s thinking and feeling out in the open. (“It’s going to work!” “And I’ll tell you why -- The Lasso Way!” “You haven’t switched tactics in a week!”)
Chemistry goes both ways. It’s a feedback loop, in a sense, because Ted is taking in what Trent is giving. He turns fully to face Trent, even turning when Trent leaves; actively engages by asking questions (“Great! What is?” “Why?” “I haven’t?”); and the more this interaction goes on, the more Ted’s face goes from bewildered to fond. Is he humoring Trent by letting him ramble? Yeah, he is, because he finds it endearing.
The way it’s shot plays a massive role, too. We the audience know that Roy and Beard are there all along. However, we temporarily forget their presence because the camera is equally close on both Trent and Ted. And the intensity of Trent’s rambling distracts us. It’s not until their little conversation is over that the angle is zoomed out and we’re reminded they aren’t alone. It’s intentionally done like that as an insight onto how Ted feels. He’s tuned in on what Trent has to say, and everything else falls away to the background.
In a heavy rom-com episode, this is the love interest’s confesional to the main character.
Trent was sparking. So much so I’ve seen people say they expected the two to kiss. And that thought doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere. You don’t arrive to that conclusion baseless. Which means:
1) The simmering three-season-long groundwork put into their relationship is rock solid.
2) The romcom beats -- which have gotten more frequent -- are subconciously hitting the audience and therefore priming us to expect a follow through (re: a kiss)
3) Characters do not get that close unless it’s to kiss, fight, or scheme. Clearly they aren’t fighting or scheming, so what other expectation is there?
Now hold onto your hat, cowboy. This is where it gets fun.
This hallway scene is a direct parallel to Rebecca and Ted in the West Ham hallway. It’s at an away game; Rebecca and Trent are both potential love interests with an air of manic energy; and, again, it takes place in a hallway with the team in the locker room.
Only this time, with Trent, everything is subverted.
Ted walks to Rebecca vs Trent runs to Ted.
Rebecca touches Ted vs Trent doesn’t physically engage.
Ted being uncomfortable the entire interaction vs Ted leaning into the interaction.
Beard and Roy not being present vs Beard and Roy being there.
This subversion also applies to where Rebecca and Trent’s respective manic energy stem from. Their energy levels are foils of one another.
Rebecca’s stems from negative external factors outside of Richmond (re: Rupert) and the fact the team is losing the match/things are not working.
Trent’s stems from positive internal factors within Richmond (re: belief in The Lasso Way) and the fact things are going to work despite the team losing the match.
Let’s get queer up in here and extrapolate those subversions to sexuality:
Ted slowly approaches heterosexuality (Rebecca), alone (without community) and is uncomfortable by the external pressures placed upon him, the way heterosexuality imposes its touch on him. He visibly looks/feels worse after the interaction.
vs
Queerness (Trent) running up behind Ted with a warning shout (hitting Ted when he doesn’t expect it) and while Ted is surrounded by others (with community). And at first Ted is confused by it, but as soon as he hears it out, gives it a chance, he grows fond of what it has to say. It does not impose its touch on him, and the pressure is an excited internal one. Ted visibly looks/feels better after the interaction.
In Trent’s words, it’s going to work.
#anyways!! going to stop it there because holy shit i can talk about this entire episode#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#trent crimm#tedtrent#tedependent#ted lasso meta
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