#which is absolutely ridiculous. obviously you’re meant to be here taking care of your good pet

[gingerbreadmonsters]

stupid cupid

or: stop picking on me!

gn!reader, no content warnings, fun dumb fluff for the soul. sam collins, you’re a real mean guy! takes place inside the wonderful lexi’s prissy au, where alexis and christian are together - @autisticempathydaemon i hope i do your blorbos justice! as always, i owe everything to the discord girlies - i get the sudden feeling that @zozo-01 ​ might want to hear about this... oh, and all my love to my lovely dialect coach, the incomparable @sri-rachaa - without whom, you would all be subject to the most unholy combination of accents imaginable. be very very grateful! 💕💕 heavily inspired by stupid cupid by connie francis, which i demand you listen to while you read. spot the 五二零 reference! sam being absolutely, thoroughly to blame in just over 2200 words.

“Well. Fancy seeing you here, hmm?”

Sam Collins is an idiot.

Yeah, you’re not afraid to say it.

Sam Collins is an idiot, and you’ll tell anyone who listens, swear up and down it’s the honest truth. A bleeding-heart birdbrain who couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag. An empty-headed vamp with a talent for healing and an even bigger talent for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. Nobody else alive can put their foot in their mouth quite so quickly or obviously, and - despite Asher’s continued existence - he actually holds the state record for most dumb things said in a single minute. He’s a moron and a fool and the stupidest goddamn loser you’ve ever met in your life, and the worst part about it is that you’re absolutely, ridiculously, so so so in love with him.

It’s not fair!

What even is there to like about him? His stupid face and his awful smile and that horrible way he says there’s my darlin’, all relieved and deep and easy, when you come traipsing back through his door like a drowned rat because you hadn’t checked the forecast and it had started raining about twenty minutes after you left. His old-fashioned, ugly haircut that’s the perfect length to run your fingers through, all messy and falling across his face when he’s asleep in your arms, unfairly soft and pretty even though he barely takes care of it at all. That god-awful scruff around his jaw that you can’t help but kiss as he fills the kettle up with water, those strong hands that gently find their way around your waist as you’re listening to Milo’s tale of whatever bullshit he and his mate got up to last week, the way he likes to prop you up against his chest whenever you’re watching TV together…

…Sorry, what were we talking about?

Oh, Sam, right. Yeah, yeah. He’s an idiot. Have you mentioned that yet?

He gets back and finds you perched on the kitchen counter, elbow deep in the bag of crisps you said you didn’t like but he knows you do, because he pays too much attention to stupid shit like that for his own good. He lets you play your music in the car way more than the 50/50 you’d agreed on, which you know is true because you’ve started counting, because he’s a lying liar who lies. He always opens doors for you and pulls out your chair at the table and brings you flowers, but never lets you do the same for him, because he’s an enemy of goodness who hates things being fair.

He’s just so - he’s - the - he - aargh!

Stupid, stupid Sam Collins. It should be illegal to be so - so like that, you know? Who even let him get like this, anyway? Kissing your hand as he says hello with that damned smile, like some dashing hero out of one of those gushy romance novels Vincent’s always carting around - you know the ones, the cringy airport-duty-free types with the big cursive letters and a stock photo of some windswept white guy plastered across the cover. Your real life white knight, stepped right off the page and into your arms like it’s where he’s meant to be.

(It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud, but sometimes you really do have to wonder. He gives Vincent shit for reading all those cheesy romance novels, but you’re starting to think it’s Sam who takes them to heart. He does know that those aren’t instruction manuals… right?)

He’s something else, that man. Unfortunately, you can’t say you don’t like it.

At first, you’d thought he was just playing it up - trying to be courteous, trying to be nice, and accidentally laying it on just a bit too thick. It seemed like the sort of thing he’d do, from what you could tell. He’s just so good - the kind of guy that you can’t help but admire in a sort of ‘oh, he’ll make someone really happy, one day’ kind of way. Does that make sense? Charming, really charming, even if he thinks he isn’t - and thoroughly, utterly, absolutely meant for someone a lot better than you.

You don’t say it. Never have, never will. It’s obvious. Larger than life, moonlight on the silver screen. He’s always been meant for more than this, more than you, and you won’t insult his intelligence by pretending you don’t know. He could do so much better, couldn’t he? To start with, you’d thought he must be more of an idiot than he’d seemed, to want you the way he says he does.

You know a little better now, but it doesn’t stop surprising you - he doesn’t stop surprising you.

Credit where it’s due, he’s stuck around, even when you thought he wouldn’t. The truth isn’t hard to see, but he does his best to persuade you otherwise, in as many words - and sometimes not so many clothes. More often than not, you tend to believe him. He’s very convincing, when he wants to be - that or he’s just stubborn, and you never learnt the difference. Whatever it is, it sounds so nice when he says it. If that’s what his version of persuasion feels like, you’re more than happy to, uh… to be convinced, if you will.

You don’t have to say. He knows. He already knows, and he stays anyway.

“...Darlin’?”

Oh, fuck, he - um-

“Uh - yeah, I - oh - yeah, I, um…” Startled out of your daydreaming, you’re caught off-guard by that foaming, fizzing feeling that bubbles up in your chest as he catches your eye, leaning down to prop himself up on the side of the sofa right next to where you’re sitting. “I was just, you know… sitting here…”

He laughs low and easy at your smooth comeback, shifting his weight to rest on one arm so he can reach out and take your hand gently in his. “Gettin’ comfy, are we?”

“Mm-hmm,” you mumble, trying desperately not to look as flustered as you feel. Fuck, does everyone feel like this when they see their mates? Or is it just the effect Sam has on you? You’d better start cutting Milo some more slack for that dumb face he makes whenever his mate walks into the room. “Got back early from David’s.”

“He alrigh’?”

“Seems it.” It’s always a bit awkward, going over to hang out at David’s house, but it’s generally a good time when you can pluck up the courage to actually go. “Ash spent half the time giving him shit for losing at Mario Kart, and the other half was mostly David beating him into the ground at Gang Beasts, so… yeah?”

The afternoon had been pretty good, all things considered - barring one minor mishap with a deck of UNO cards, a saucepan full of rice and some god-awful rhythm action game - and it had been nice to spend some time just relaxing with the others again. Everyone’s been so busy that it’s been hard to find a day you could all do, so it was a good change of pace.

Sam nods, thumb idly stroking over the back of your hand. “Seems like the pair of ‘em are settlin’ right in with this whole engaged business, then.”

“Business as usual, more like. They’re all lovey with their mates anyway, so it’s no different.” It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault - it’s just the way the bond works, you know? Not a compulsion, it’s not forcing you close or making you want to be all soft and touchy all the time. It just… it feels nice, is all. Like it’s good, like it’s true, like it’s right. You’d like to say you’re not as PDA-heavy as the really ooey-gooey ones like Milo and his mate, but… Well. Maybe most of the time.

“Mm, ‘spose you’re right on that front,” he muses, regretfully letting go of your hand as he stands up and starts walking off towards the kitchen. “‘Sides, ain’t David the one who proposed to his mate on solstice day? Guess he’s just the romantic type.”

“I…” When you think of romantic people, David Shaw isn’t top of the list, but maybe he’s right. When it comes to all that cheesy, cutesy stuff? Angel isn’t exactly the most subtle pet name, after all. “Yeah, I guess.”

You make to get up and follow him, but he holds out a hand to stop you before you can even properly stand.

“Nope - you stay right there, darlin’,” he says, grabbing the remote off the side table and tossing it lightly into your lap as he disappears out into the corridor. “Won’t be more’n a minute.”

“Everything alright?”

“Left my phone on the counter, ‘s all,” he replies, voice echoing slightly in the hall as you turn the TV on, idly flicking through the channels. “Vincent wanted me to take a look at some website or other - last I heard, he’s been makin’ plans for some Valentine’s Day thing?”

“He’ll be disappointed, then,” you snicker, readjusting yourself slightly to make room for Sam as he comes to sit next to you on the sofa. “He has realised that Valentine’s Day was, like, two weeks ago, right?”

A long-suffering sigh - which, to be honest, is most of the clan’s reaction when Vincent starts waxing lyrical about his partner again. There’s been a meeting at William’s all evening, something about making preparations for an event at one of the properties in a few months’ time, so Vincent must have got a hold of him there.

“Well, whatever it is, he’s got all sorts of ideas floatin’ around. He normally asks Alexis about this kinda thing, but she wasn’t there tonight so he came to me.”

“Huh.” That’s unusual. Alexis is normally really on top of these sorts of things - say what you will about her, she’s always on time and she never misses anything business-related if she can help it. “Maybe she’s just feeling a bit under the weather today.”

“Vincent said she had some ‘prior arrangement’ in town she couldn’t miss.” Sam shrugs, settling in next to you as you switch over to Netflix. “Guess she must’ve been double-booked tonight.”

Hmm. Why is that familiar? Playing truant, ‘double-booked’... You haven’t heard anything about Alexis being busy tonight before, so why does ‘prior arrangement’ ring a bell?

...Wait.

Oh, so that’s why Christian left early! You’d thought he was looking unusually dressed up. Their date night is normally Wednesdays, so it hadn’t even crossed your mind, but now that you think about it you remember Chrissy bitching about being on an out-of-town job all this week and having to miss it.

Oh, fair enough then. If someone had tried to send you out on some boring security gig for a week and you couldn’t see Sam until you got back, you’d probably be pretty pissed off too.

The conversation trails off a bit as you finally find a show you want to watch, and you’re just reaching for the blanket behind you when he - oh, when - um, when, ahhh…

“This alrigh’?” Curse his vampire speed! Before you really know what’s happening, he’s got you pressed right up against him, legs draped over his lap and curled in close under his arm, blanket over both of you. Not that you need it, anymore - your face feels like lava with the way he’s looking at you, impossibly gentle and kind.

“Yeah, yeah…” The spotlight of his attention, turned fully on you, and you’re practically blinded every time. “Good, yeah, it’s uh… yeah, ‘s fine…”

“Good,” he says, smiling softly like he has no idea of the effect he has on you. “Wouldn’t want my mate gettin’ cold on my watch.”

Fuck, does he always have to say it like that? Doesn’t he know what it does to you? Mate, mate, mate. Rattling around in your head, that firecracker-fizzing in your chest that runs through you at just the thought. He’ll end up giving you a heart attack one of these days, the way he’s going. And if it means he’ll heal you, hands all over you, holding you close as his aura cracks and sparks with healing magic? Maybe it’s overkill - but you can’t say the thought isn’t very appealing.

You hide your smile against his shoulder, burying your face in his chest in a vain attempt to play it cool - unfortunately his ridiculously-affectionate little laugh as you twist your fingers in his shirt tells you that it hasn't quite worked.

“Y’know, you seem a bit distracted, if I’m bein’ honest.”

The TV is long-forgotten as he gently tips your chin up, that idiot, idiot Sam Collins - dumb silver eyes and horrible smile and stupidly-handsome face just inches away. Is it just you, or is it a bit warm in here? In the arms of an evil, awful, wicked man whose favourite thing to do is make your stupid brain stop working, who sets your face and your heart and your soul on fire without a second thought, without even knowing he’s doing it. Honestly. What’s become of you? A house and a life and a mate that’s yours, it’s yours, he’s yours.

“Penny for your thoughts, darlin’?” A soft kiss, pressed lightly to your cheek, and all of a sudden the inside of your brain lights up a familiar shade of bright, bright blue.

He - you - oh, that’s - he just - aargh!

masterlist

this is an original work by @gingerbreadmonsters - please do not repost or misattribute

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted fluff #redacted sam #redacted darlin #redacted fic #ginger writes #gingerbreadmonsters

[louiskechi]

@sugxrwormz

if that small part of themselves they are choosing to advertise is fucking nasty i think that’s a pretty good judge of their character.

and i never said i was against “depicting dark topics” because obviously that would be ridiculous. the world is dark and media should reflect that. i love dark media. some of my favorite medias are all about dark topics, which should be obvious by my username and profile picture being a reference to two pieces of media that tackle extremely dark themes!

my problem, which i feel i articulated fairly clearly, is with the glorification of those dark topics. when darkness is protrayed in media, it isn’t meant to be a pleasant sight. if you’ve ever heard people say a scene was “hard to watch,” you’ll understand this. fiction, especially in the case of games, comics, movies, etc, is supposed to evoke emotion within you.

however, if you see, say, and abuse scene, and the emotion you feel is excitement, or joy, i find that alarming.

you can enjoy the artistry of the scene, enjoy the story, be excited to see what happens next, but if your takeaway is how much seeing abuse depicted made you happy, that’s disturbing.

blogs that identify themselves as proship will often portray abuse not as a story element that should be seen as bad, but as a good thing that should be indulged in and shouldn’t be seen as any different from any other relationship.

you believing that i am incapable of enjoying dark media is a proship strawman

you believing that i don’t block proship tags is a strawman

you believing censoring harmful content on tumblr is comparable to north korea is a false equivalence

i would like to point out that there are plenty of situations in which you would most likely agree censorship is good. for example, removing all csem is unarguably a good thing. it doesn’t make us north korea to decide some things contribute net harm.

but you wanna know what the funny thing is? i don’t even think all proship content should be censored, and i made that clear in my original post. the only content i think shouldn’t have a right to exist is lolisho/underage content. i don’t believe that should be controversial.

before i close out here, i wanna address one last thing. you think blocking tags is enough to take care of the harm seeing proship content can cause. but you’re wrong. i have encountered multiple proship blogs that masquerade as antiship blogs for the sole purpose of triggering people. you know what else? i was exposed to so much proship content as a child that was completely untagged, shared in the spaces for the children’s media i liked, absolutely no warning on it. it disturbed me to my core. should i, a child, simply have known to block those tags? or would you like to admit that there is fault in proship communities of improper tagging?

#fuck proshippers #shipping discourse

[ohbaby-obeyme]

Baby- oh my GOD youd be such a perfect pet 😭😭💕💕💕 why am i not there to take care of you huh?? This is outrageous. Wanna cuddle with my good pet!! Give them treats!! Reward them just for existing!! Never punish them because theyre my pet and i cherish them too much!! Let. me. spoil. you. rotten.

So good and obedient and needy, just ah--- heart eyes all around 🥺😭💕💕💕 -🌻

AAAAAAAAAA ♥️♥️‼️ for ‘what’s your ideal owner?’ i was SO CLOSE to just saying “it’s you, obviously, next question.”

sometimes i’m like. do i rly fit in the petplay scene?? bc i’m not into punishment or strict owners or uncompromising rules, but then u show back up w ur perfect owner vibes and i’m like, oh yeah. i definitely belong here. this is right.

#basically like. come n get me #bc this always sounds p e r f e c t #inquiries #🌻 anon #if i think abt it too much i get genuinely upset bc you’re Not here to spoil me #which is absolutely ridiculous. obviously you’re meant to be here taking care of your good pet #so what’s the big deal universe wtf

[thestarsanctuary]

kakegurui x reader who is very clingy (platonic but all the girls are like kinda into her) and she’s always either following Yumeko around or fiddling with one of Midari’s guns. The one shot can be when the reader geta called out for it and feels like she’s being too clingy so she tries to distance herself and all three kinda have to come together to figure out why reader is so sad? maybe an ending with protecc from the girls? Sorry for the long request!!

Once again- jesus this took forever so let me give you something good (I will try my best as per usual) and hope ya enjoy at least a little! My apologies again!

KAKEGURUI X F! READER (PLATONIC-ISH)

It was almost like a stop in your life. A pause. You had never noticed you had done it everyday, were you too much? Why did nonody tell you? And more importantly....how do you stop what you don’t notice yourself doing?

You had way too many questions because some random girl had walked up to you, randomly, and out of nowhere says,

“Hey you hang around those girls a lot huh? Don’t you think you’re a little too much? I mean I’ve never actually seen you without them. Ever.” She said, and it wasn’t even menacing, which means she truly meant it. That was even worse!

And when you think about it...she was oh so right.

Everyday, you went to school with Mary who would walk you with a scowl but let you hold her hand and talk her ear off all the way there. She would always say she wasn’t listening but would bring up something you said all the time surprising you. Then Midari would be waiting for you and hand you her arm and say “Let’s go gorgeous” with this sinister grin, and you’d play with her gun on the way to your first class, and then Yumeko would come and sit on your lap in class and let you hug her and the teacher never said anything because Kirari....oh god, you were so clingy.

And just like that your mood had dropped significantly, and nobody knew why but just tried to push it off.

“Maybe she’s having a bad day.”

“Got a bad grade on her exam!”

“Ah she didn’t have a good enough lunch?”

Any excuse they could come up with they used whichever came to mind first because they didn’t want to think you were truly upset.

And they didn’t want to have to come for whoever had made their darling so upset in the first place.

Until the next day came. Mary knocked on your door and you opened it with a forced smile that Mary chose to ignore, and she held out her hand with an annoyed look on her face as per usual but this time to you it felt so real.

I guess I am way too clingy.

That was the conclusion that you had came up with in your mind as you decided to ignore her hand and instead go for a more cheerful appearance to distract from your oh-so-obvious swatting of her hand.

She still walked with you but the look on her face was different. It was more narrow and almost looked like she was judging you or something, and you wondered if you had ever seen this look before in the back of your head.

When you go to the school Midari was as per usual waiting for you gun in hand, but you politely declined the offer of holding her gun as she wrapped her arm around yours. You wuickly took it off.

“Huh? What’s up with you gorgeous? Mary say something rude again? I truly don’t understand why you don’t let me take you-

“No! No I’m uh, I’m fine! I was just having...cramps! In my fingers...yeah...they are absolutely terrible!” You said quickly with a smile. Midari grinned and rubbed your head with her gun.

“Alrighty then sweetheart, did you not want to go to class then? I can let Kirari tell your teach you won’t be there ya know” she grinned at you, with her usual amount of playfulness seeping through. You waved your hand and walked into your classroom without saying goodbye. How odd.

Midari called Yumeko outside, you thought she was probably weeping for Yumeko’s attention again and didn’t think anything of it. But oh boy were you wrong. As Yumeko sat on your lap, you took notes vigorously and tried to shift and move her off, and she must’ve gotten the hint because she did. Yumeko whispered in your ear,

“I thought your hands were cramping?” She said, and you almost jumped because you realized how badly you had screwed up.

“O-oh yeah! But I need to take notes for this class Koko, you know that.” You brushed it off and she nodded her head innocently before going back to not paying attention. Or so you thought, but she obviously saw that you lied to her. Who could get past her?

After class you and Yumeko were called to the President’s room. You walked in and saw Kirari, Midari, Yumemi, Mary, Sayaka, Yuriko, everybody. It honestly overwhelmed you because you had wanted to touch them so bad. It was how you showed love but now you were basically forcing yourself to look at the ground.

“Now now, come over here y/n, we have to talk to you.” Kirari said and you knew, you had been figured out. There was a new seat for you and Kirari to sit in so you sat by her side trying not to touch her, however her scent and basically everything about her made it difficult. Especially with her putting her arm around you and trying to make you hug her. So in the end, you basically gave up. Who were you to resist?

“Is there a reason the girls are saying you’ve been lying and avoiding them all day or do we jut have to make a public announcement to find out who’s been talking to you?” She said softly. So softly you honestly almost cried. You had basically avoided all contact with the girls and given them no explanation, you felt terrible.

“I’m sorry!! It’s just- I realized how clingy I’ve been with you all and I never even asked if you were okay with it. I’m like some leech and I’m always hanging onto you guys and it feels like I’m not doing anything but being annoying anymore.” You ranted, not trying to look any of them in the eyes but you could see their eyes soften just a little when you finally did look up with glossy eyes.

“Ok. Listen. If any of us didn’t like it we would tell you and the freaking president herself wouldn’t even let you in here- let alone get a WHOLE NEW CHAIR for you to be able to hug her on. We all enjoy it and understand that it’s how you show that you like and care for us. Friends just know moron. Who told you this because I don’t believe you came up with this ridiculous theory of sorts on your own.” Mary announced as she stood up from her seat, tired of staying quiet.

“...well...I don’t know who but, I understand. That didn’t make sense anyways huh?” You giggled and hugged Kirari, instantly brightening the mood as she wrapped her arm around your waist.

“Well we’ll need to find out who immediately, we can’t exactly let whoever it was think they know better than us can we?” Yumeko said with a smile, as the other girls nodded.

Yeah, this was how it will always be.

EL FIN.

brooo that endings trassshhh. Anyways my fingers hurt so bad because I’ve been writing (not just this) for like an hour no break my fingers are buring, anyways sorry for the TERRIBLE wait so so sorry but I hope you enjoy!

-SS

#kakegurui x y/n #kakegurui midari #kakegurui x reader #kakegurui #midari x reader #kirari x reader #yumeko x reader #mary saotome x reader #yumemi yumemite #kakeguri yumeko #kakegurui xx #yumeko jabami #mary satome #kirari momobami

[robininthelabyrinth]

🧿🤠🐇🍲🍯: Nie Huaisang hasn’t found anyone to do the body sacrifice ritual for him, and so in desperation he tries it himself. However, the ritual was not designed with a Nie cultivator in mind—something Nie Huaisang does not realize until he’s doubled over on the floor, far too close to a qi deviation, because his (admittedly tiny) saber spirit has been replaced with Wei Wuxian.

ao3

Well, that was the dumbest thing ever.

The thought so closely matched Wei Wuxian’s that he didn’t even notice that it wasn’t his own.

How could you be so stupid? Wei Wuxian tried to shout at Nie Huaisang, who was curled up gasping on the floor. The floor, which was stained with Nie Huaisang's own blood, with cuts he had made himself on himself, with the ancient body sacrifice summoning that – that –

Don’t you realize that you’d be gone? You absolute idiot! Wei Wuxian howled, even though he wasn’t actually a person right now. He didn’t know what he was, a ghost or spirit, maybe, but he was there and he was angry and Nie Huaisang’s arms were covered in blood from where he’d cut himself up in order to destroy his own soul – Nie Huaisang, the mincing sensitive little master who would complain for three weeks about having stubbed his toe! – and his robes that he had always taken such great care to keep clean and neat were a mess and he was bleeding from the nose and eyes and ears because something had gone wrong. Something had gone wrong, and Wei Wuxian hated to be grateful for it because he didn’t want to be brought back by Nie Huaisang’s death.

Not anyone’s death, really, but definitely not Nie Huaisang, who’d never hurt him or treated him badly. Even when the whole world had hated and reviled Wei Wuxian, isolating him in Yiling on the Burial Mounds, Nie Huaisang hadn’t – he’d waved jauntily to him during Phoenix Mountain, and Wei Wuxian had never doubted that if he’d somehow found his way to Qinghe, Nie Huaisang would have treated him just the same as always.

You – you –! You good-for-nothing!

“Don’t be rude,” Nie Huaisang mumbled, slowly uncurling. “Didn’t bring you back to be rude to me.”

You know what you’ve done, then? You could have died!

“Was I supposed to let someone else do it?” Nie Huaisang rubbed at his face with his sleeve, then frowned at the blood on it. “I thought about it, but I really just – couldn’t.”

So you decided to kill yourself?

“It’s like you said, Wei-xiong. I’m a good-for-nothing. I couldn’t – I can’t – I can’t fix this. So why not bring back someone who can?”

Wei Wuxian didn’t have words to express how much that was not all right with him.

Go fix yourself, he ordered. I don't care what 'this' is; I’m not talking to you until you get cleaned up.

“After all that work I did? Wei-xiong…”

Nope! You’re not dying, so you can get cleaned up before we talk, and that’s that. I still can’t believe you nearly – I don’t want it. I’ve never wanted anyone to get hurt for me.

“Wei-xiong, you’re being silly. Who said I did it for you?”

Wei Wuxian would have stared if he had eyes.

“I did it for me,” Nie Huaisang said, and finally he got up properly and staggered over to a basin to start washing himself clean. “Obviously! I'm incredibly self-absorbed. It’s about what I need from you…hey, how did you come back? I thought the ritual only worked if I died.”

It should have, Wei Wuxian agreed, unwillingly intrigued by it. I don’t know, actually. It’s strange: it should have either worked, in which case you’d be dead and I’d be possessing your body, or else not worked at all, in which case I shouldn’t be here.

“I always mess things up.”

No, really, I don’t think you messed this up? The array is perfect. There’s no reason for it not to have worked.

“These cuts won’t heal,” Nie Huaisang observed, looking at his arms. “Did I accidentally curse myself to fulfill my obligations? Ugh, why.”

As the person you were going to impose said obligations on, I’m now going to laugh at you. Hahahahaha –

“Shut up, Wei-xiong. Where are you, anyway? I don’t see any ghostly figures that might be you, and anyway, we’re in the Unclean Realm; there are ghost-repelling arrays in every stone.”

I don’t know, Wei Wuxian said, and then something else said, Ghost-repelling arrays only repel ghosts.

At first Wei Wuxian thought that it was Nie Huaisang who had said that, and he was about to ask what he meant by that, only Nie Huaisang got there first and said, “What do you mean, Wei-xiong? Are you not a ghost?”

I didn’t say that, Wei Wuxian said. That – wasn’t me.

“Who was it?”

Me.

“…Wei-xiong…?”

No, that wasn’t me. I mean, it wasn’t me that said ‘me’ just now!

Of course not, the voice said, and it was Wei Wuxian’s voice – or not-voice, anyway, whatever it was that he was using to communicate – but not Wei Wuxian speaking. It was me, of course. Master forgot to account for me in his array.

What? Wei Wuxian asked, utterly confused, but apparently that made more sense to Nie Huaisang because his knees went weak and he fell down on his ass.

“Aituan?” he gasped. “I – what – is that you?”

Yes.

Can I interrupt? Wei Wuxian asked. Who – or what – is Aituan?

“My saber!”

Your – what?!

Nie Huaisang attempted to explain. It ended up being a fairly long explanation, involving his sect’s cultivation style, saber spirits, and his own personal saber spirit, which was named Aituan, and which Nie Huaisang swore up and down did not speak prior to this.

Of course not, the voice now known as Aituan said irritably. Why would I speak? I’m a saber. We’re sensible, not like you humans – but now you’ve shoved a human spirit in with me, so what am I supposed to do? Not use his abilities as my own?

I feel like I should feel violated, Wei Wuxian said.

“When in fact you think it’s really neat?”

…yeah, basically.

Aituan huffed. Can we get back to the part where we plan a murder? he (it?) whined.

Sorry, Aituan, Wei Wuxian said. No murder.

“Uh,” Nie Huaisang said. “Actually, about that…”

-

I think we should kill him.

“I can’t do that!”

Dunno, I think Aituan has a point, Wei Wuxian said. We should probably just kill him.

“You’re supposed to be helping me, Wei-xiong!”

I’m helping! I’m a saber now, I can totally help you stab him.

“Not helpful!”

I like this human, Aituan declared. Good human. Proper blade on his hilt.

You mean head on my shoulders?

Whatever.

Nie Huaisang threw his hands up in annoyance. “Would either of you like to remember the part where I can’t actually fight? San-ge would beat me black and blue if I so much as picked up a pocket-knife in his presence!”

Get someone else to help, Wei Wuxian suggested pitilessly.

“I tried! You!”

Someone else.

“Like who?”

Hmm. Lan Zhan? He’s great.

“I don’t know. He’s er-ge’s brother, isn’t he? He might not believe me…” Nie hUaisang grimaced. “He hasn’t been much inclined to believe me before.”

Why doesn’t the loudmouth do the talking? Aituan suggested.

Oh, that’s a good idea! Lan Zhan was always inclined to listen to me before.

“I thought you said he hated you?”

He still listened!

Nie Huaisang heaved a sigh.

Your other alternative is stabbing your enemy directly, Aituan said. If you’d like to give it a try…

“…I’ll talk to Lan Zhan.”

-

“I can’t believe you’re perving after my saber,” Nie Huaisang complained.

I can’t believe Lan Zhan likes me! I mean, likes me!

I can’t believe I’m still stuck here with you idiots. Can I go share bodies with Baxia instead?

Lan Wangji just looked awkward.

Some people might mistake it for looking noble and genteel, but by now they all knew: it was just him being horribly awkward.

“I have no such intentions,” he said stiffly. “Only – if it was possible for Wei Ying to exit the saber…”

Nie Huaisang grimaced, humor falling away. “I…don’t really know about that.”

Wait, wait, wait. If I can’t – if I’m stuck as a saber – I can’t – but I really want to kiss Lan Zhan! This isn’t fair! I don’t want to have to wait until I reincarnate.

You won’t reincarnate, Aituan said. You’re a saber. Unless we’re melted down or get ground down by time…

No!

“Surely there has to be some way. Aituan, stop being a part of the problem and start being a part of the solution.”

Fine. Let him possess you.

“…what.”

He just needs a human body, right? Let him possess you. Problem solved.

I can do that?

Technically, I can do that, and you can do it because I can do it. But we’d need Master’s permission.

“There are many, many, many books about why you don’t grant your saber permission to possess you. Anyway, that’s my body!”

Yeah, I guess it would be weird for you to kiss Lan Zhan, would it?

“I mean, not really? He’s very pretty. I could swing it.”

You could?

“…you could swing what,” Lan Wangji said.

“Having Wei-xiong possess me,” Nie Huaisang explained. “So that he and you can get the whole missed opportunity thing out of your system.”

Lan Wangji’s face did a few strange things.

"Assuming that it wouldn't be an issue for you, that is, it being me on the other side..."

"No," Lan Wangji said, and cleared his throat. "That would be - fine."

Ooooooh. Does Lan Zhan like you, too?

"What? No. Don't be ridiculous, Lan Zhan doesn't like me like that."

He'd be willing to kiss you.

"Physical attraction isn't the same thing," Nie Huaisang argued. "Lan Zhan, you're with me on this, right? You wouldn't be interested in -"

Lan Wangji cut him off.

A few moments later, he pulled back and said, thoughtfully, "As suspected. It is fine."

Nie Huaisang opened and closed his mouth a few times.

"...well then," he said blankly, then frowned. “Aituan, can I revoke permission for possession?”

No idea. You'd just have to trust that we'd give it back; it's a risk you'd have to take.

“…well, as illustrated, it’s not the worst idea I’ve ever had. Let’s try it, and then once everyone’s a little more focused we can go do what we need to do. Sound good?”

-

“I really didn’t expect you to start a relationship Nie Huaisang,” Lan Xichen said to Lan Wangji, not long before the end. He sounded deeply puzzled. “I didn’t think you liked him like that.”

“Not by himself,” Lan Wangji said with a shrug. “But he’s good in company.”

“…you’re with other people too? Both of you?”

“Mm.”

Lan Xichen, knowing his younger brother’s reticent temper, especially of late, declined to ask who the other parties were. “Doesn’t that make things crowded?” he asked instead.

“…surprisingly no,” Lan Wangji said. “Not as much as you’d think.”

#mdzs #nie huaisang #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #wangxiansang #my fic #my fics #crowded

[rodrickcult]

headcanons for being rodrick’s best friend:

warnings: mentions of drinking and sex + kinda strong language ?

english is not my first language so forgive eventual mistakes! hehe

- you both wouldn’t hesitate to get in a fight if you hear someone insulting the other. you once got detention after punching some dude because he said rodrick will never go anywhere in life and rodrick waited in his van outside school then picked you up and almost cried at the sight of your black eye, but then he grabbed your chin and after analyzing your face he came to the conclusion that you looked cool as hell like that

- taking you to buy ice cream and paying because “she got a black eye for me, so it’s on me this time” and the cashier giggles

- everytime someone mentions that they find rodrick cute you start telling them how kind, sweet and funny he is despite the fake persona he puts on around girls and when they question if you like him given how well you speak of him you just reply:”what? no! i’m advertising him”

- rodrick on the other hand just laughs at their faces and says “she’s way too good for you” or “if you ever make her cry consider yourself dead” but if you actually start dating the person he will act ridiculously friendly like “heyyyy *name*, you are such a perfect match, that’s what i’ve been saying you know. i’m so happy!”

- you borrow each other’s clothes so often that sometimes you look down at your dirty black converse and can’t remember if originally they were yours or his

- you tattoo small silly things onto each other and you definitely have the löded diper logo somewhere on yourself

- you love to sing along to songs together. you either do it in his room, pretending you’re playing at a concert and end up listening to some guilty pleasure songs that you wouldn’t dare to jam to if someone else was there to see or in heffley’s kitchen: rodrick sitting on the counter mimicking the drums and you jumping around mimicking the guitar, susan sometimes changes the song without asking so you suddenly start hearing ABBA and rodrick gets soo annoyed lol

- you also do that to cheer yourselves up, if one is sad about someone/something the other will put up a mini concert and act silly until they manage to bring out a laugh (you use his drumstick as a microphone)

- amazing AMAZING chemistry. like he’ll say something like “remember the turtles thing” and you’ll instantly understand what he’s talking about. also same childish sense of humor.

- he truly thinks you’re the coolest person ever, whenever you do something that he finds rad like burp really loud or talk about that time you broke into one of your friends’ ex house because she wanted to take some of her stuff back and he didn’t let her he looks at you in awe and gets flustered because “my best friend is so freaking cool woo-hoo!!!!”

- you love staying at this house because it’s filled with love and chaos in a positive way, whenever you have to go home you’re sad and to survive the fights or the cold silence you cling to the fact that you’ll be at his house again soon. rodrick knows that and always wants you to stay a little longer, so his house ends up being a second home for you

- sitting in the back of his van talking about literally everything

- if you can’t find a significant other you go to prom together as friends and just take the most stupid pics that you’ll look back to and smile. and halfway through the party you’re already bored and just go outside and listen to your punk music

- you get ABSOLUTELY mad at bill at the talent show, you yell in his face that löded diper is nothing without rodrick and you proceed to rip off the paper with the band name that they attached to the drums

- rodrick feels a bit better when he hears your words and you two sit in silence for a while with his head on your shoulder

- then greg convinces their mom to let rodrick play, rodrick hugs you and you two jump up and down in excitement, you thank greg a million times

- you obviously record the exhibition just like you always do. you were there since their first small concert

- you always add your little comments that make rodrick feel so special when he rewatches the videos, like you truly care and are really a fan of their music

- *zooming on rodrick twirling the drumsticks around his fingers in the backstage, waiting for löded diper to be called on stage* “here we can see a drummer in his natural habitat... i’m glad i’m far away because i know by experience that he kinda stinks... anyway you will notice that he’s a bit nervous... and for what? hate to admit it but he’s great at what he does”

- “i hate her” he says to himself while watching the tape, while not being able to stop smiling because he’s so lucky to have you as a friend

- taking care of each other when you’re drunk !!

- he forgets how to do stuff so you have to drag him to his bed and take off his shoes and jacket

- instead you start questioning life and he has to reassure you that you’ll be okay. oh and you absolutely can’t stand. literally zero balance. so it’s so funny when both of you are drunk because who’s gonna be the stable one while walking home?!

- “god i can’t stand you two” – the friend that has to take your annoying asses home

- meeting him at the public swimming pool and dipping because that place is almost as bad a school

- greg asks you what do you see in him since you’re his friend and also a girl, you say you can’t reveal too much because that would be working with the enemy but you assure him that rodrick can be a kind, funny guy and growing up he’ll notice

- greg still thinks you’re a freak for willingly spending time with his brother

- rodrick’s girlfriend finding your clothes in his room and the both of you having to explain it’s just an habit and there’s nothing malicious about it

- rodrick forgetting about you for a week because he’s so obsessed with impressing heather, he comes back saying sorry a million times and saying that he realized it’s not as fun when you’re not around

- rodrick’s mom shipped you guys for a while and even his dad admitted that you were a good match (which he didn’t mean as a positive thing shxjdhd), but after realizing you two are just friends susan felt sad because that meant she had to witness rodrick acting like a douche to impress girls for a bit more

- one of you definitely walked in while the other was having sex with someone lmaoososos

- you couldn’t stop laughing about it when you met afterwards

- “nice c*ck/t*ts (your choice) by the way”

- “SHUT UP but also, thank you”

- you can’t say no to the other’s ideas no matter how stupid they are. rip

- being grateful for the other because “i truly couldn’t have survived school without you”

- eating A LOT of junk food

- going to the cinema to watch horror movies, sometimes he can’t sleep afterwards so you have to hold him and it’s so funny to you

- arguing every once in a while and when his voice rises of a few octaves you can’t help but laugh

- “yo, STOP LAUGHING.”

- “ok squeaky toy”

- “we’re done”

- “noOOOO”

- when it’s more serious one of you always ends up looking for the other and both say sorry

- “i can’t really stay mad at you. i just don’t see the point”

- you’re gonna give speeches at each other’s weddings if you decide to marry and it’s going to be SO chaotic :’)

- WAIT ALSO matching tattoos !!!!

- basically he’d do anything for you and you’d do anything for him and it’s a bond for life babeyyyyyy

(shorter but still cool part 2)

#rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley headcanons #diary of a wimpy kid #not my rodrick #rodrick cult #mine #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley x female reader #rodrick x female reader #rodrick friendship fic #doawk

[ur-riddikulus]

Fear and Cuddles (Thor Odinson)

Pairing: Thor x Y/N.

Summary: You are afraid of storms and go into Thor’s room one night because he calms you down. Then he figures out and forces you to admit this to him.

Warnings: Just pure fluff and the obviousness of them loving each other and needing to get together. This may suck but honestly it’s just meant to be a short cute story.

As another roll of thunder shook the compound, you buried yourself under more covers. You were shaking in fear, the lightning flashing across the sky. 

It was probably around 2 or 3 am, but honestly you didn’t know. Fear was weird, making the hours start to blend together at this point. But it could have also just been exhaustion. You hadn’t been able to sleep all night, too afraid to from the raging storm outside.

Screw this, I’m an Avenger for God’s sake, I can deal with one storm. You thought to yourself, but that confidence immediately left when moments later, another round of lightning streaked across the sky.

Everyone was probably calmly asleep, with not a care in the world. You have never been more envious of your team mates. You were so, so tired and had a long day tomorrow, but sleep wasn’t even an option with your anxiety through the roof all night.

Your heart was beating so fast you thought you were having a stroke. Maybe I’m dying? You thought. At least it would take you out of your misery. After all, you can’t be scared when you’re dead. But even you were not that lucky, you supposed.

You had been battling yourself since the storm had started. Should you go to Thor’s room or not? You haven’t because it was so embarrassing, what adult was terrified of storms? But you had been friends for years, and he was just across the halls. He helped you through everything and you were too scared to be alone right now.

“No, I am not a child. I’ll be fine right here.” You promised yourself for the umpteenth time. You were resolved, you weren’t going to run into his room and bother him with something as dumb as your ridiculous fear of storms.

But when you heard wind rattling the trees in the night and huge bolts lightning light up the night sky, you were a goner. So, being the coward you were, you finally had enough. You ran out of the room, your shaking legs taking you quickly across the hall and outside the door of Thor’s room. You knocked, just to be polite, but when you heard nothing you just assumed he was sleeping. So you just quietly opened the door, tiptoed over to his bed, and crawled into it beside him.

He was snoring, loudly and deeply. If you weren’t terrified of waking him up and of course, the raging storm outside, you probably would have laughed.

You were crawling into bed very slowly, pausing whenever he would shift or a break would come in his snoring. When you were finally tucked into his bed, beside him, you were enveloped in his smell. Pine tree, the smell of rain, and a scent that was just...Thor. You breathed it in deep, the mix of it all making you feel safe and protected from the violent storm outside.

Your fear soon started washing washing away and you could feel your eyes suddenly start to droop when he moved, turning in your direction. You immediately held still, careful to not move in order to not possibly wake up the god. 

He snuggled into you, holding you close and putting an arm around you. Then, his deep snores started once more. As awkward as this position was, it relaxed you even more. Thor was simply your best friend, nothing more. But you couldn’t help but be secretly glad that he was in this close, intimate position with you. 

You ignored the fluttering of your heart, guessing that it was just all the anxiety you had been through that night. You leaned in and cuddled with him as well. Moments later, thunder shook the compound the loudest it had all night, but you didn’t care. You were finally calm and sleeping, a faint smile on your face as you were tucked in next to the Avenger.

You heard noises before you opened your eyes the next morning. It sounded like a shower was being turned on. You ignored it and decided to go back to bed, snuggling back into the comfy covers. Then, before you drifted back to sleep, you noticed it. Thor’s scent was all over these covers. It made no sense, none at all. That was, until you remembered last nights events. The big storm, your fear, you sneaking in and cuddling with Thor.

You shot up, cheeks blazing from embarrassment. How were you going to explain this to him? The bed was empty beside you, so you knew he was in the shower. He had to see you this morning, you were hugging him like a giant teddy bear for God’s sake. 

You didn’t want anyone to know of your fear. Why would you? The rest of the Avengers went through hell and back and lived to tell the tale. They feared nothing. While you turned into a statue if you heard one roll of thunder. There was no way to get out of this. And you definitely couldn’t face him, what were you going to say? “Sorry, I am a huge baby and crawled into your bed last night because of a storm, then you cuddled me and I loved it and haven’t slept that good in years?” No, absolutely no way. You didn’t need to add even more embarrassment onto this already huge list of things to be embarrassed about. 

You looked at the door, wishing you could somehow magically teleport back into your room, where you were supposed to be. Maybe your friendship could survive this, of course considering that he even wanted to be friends with you after this, the girl who crawled into bed with him at 2 am without his consent. You could just ignore it, never talk about it, and with time, maybe it will be back to normal.

You were about to run to the door when you heard the shower stop running and Thor get out of it. The bathroom door was open, and soon you saw him saunter out of it with a towel wrapped about his waist, water droplets still streaming down his chest and v-line. 

Your eyes immediately opened wide at that sight. No wonder he’s a god. He was the hottest, most attractive man you’ve ever seen. Of course, as close friends you saw him shirtless sometimes, and you always thought he was attractive (I mean, you would have to be blind to not see it) but it never made you feel this...starstruck before. He was turned around, going through his dresser for clothes. So, you did the only thing you could think of it that moment.

You leaned back down and faked being asleep.

Sure, it was a coward’s move. But your pride was long gone. You already knew you were a coward last night when you crawled into bed with him. 

He finished going through his clothes, picking them out and you could hear the fabric rustling so you assumed he was getting dressed. Once the sound stopped, you felt his gaze harden on you. You had to fight the urge to not move while feigning sleep, but knowing that he was staring at you was making it pretty hard.

You felt the bed dip down under his weight as he got on it beside you and snuggled right back into you like the way you were together last night.

He moved your hair behind your ear and put his lips right next to your ear. You had to fight yourself to not give him more access to your neck, which was ridiculous. Why were you being so weird around Thor lately?

You felt him breath on your ear. “I know you're awake, Y/N.” Thor said in a singsongy voice.

Your heart dropped. How were you going to explain this? In your head, you knew that Thor was a kind and understanding person, but that didn’t mean you wanted to admit that you, someone whose literally job it is to face villains, couldn’t face a storm. You just didn’t want to get laughed at.

You sighed and opened your eyes. “Surprise?” You said. Maybe you could joke your way out of this mess. He loved jokes, and you knew that his big heart would trust that you weren’t lying to him.

He smiled his trademark dazzling smile and you automatically felt more comfortable, as you always felt when you were around him. You weren’t thinking about the situation you just got yourself into, all you could think of was, “Why wasn’t Thor the god of beauty? He certainly fits the job description.”

“Uh...thank you?” He said with a little laugh and a confused look on his face.

“Oh shit...did I just say that out loud?” You’re cheeks grew red and you started to hate yourself so much for how embarrassing you are

“Maybe, but I find it very endearing.” Thor replied, still smiling.

You had to clear your head, but whenever you were around him recently, you couldn’t. You shook your head quickly to try to gain any brain cells you had left. When you looked back up you saw Thor looking at you thoughtfully.

“So, not that I didn’t love sharing a bed with you, Y/n, but why were you in my bed last night? I wasn’t aware we had scheduled what you mortals call a ‘sleep over’.”

You swallowed thickly, quickly going in between answers to this question in your head. Should you say that you were possessed and woke up here? That you were just wanting to snuggle with your best friend for the night? You audibly sigh, you never were a good liar.

“Are you okay,Y/N?” You looked up at him and his worried expression. Thor was the kindest person you had ever met, and he never failed to make your day better. He didn’t deserve to be told a lie from his best friend. Especially when you know how much he hates lies, understandably because he was told them all the time from Loki, his mischievous younger brother. 

This was it. Were you going to lie and keep your fear to yourself? Or tell the truth and possibly bear the humiliation?

“Thor, I came into your room last night because I was scared. I’m afraid of storms and you always calm me down so I went in here to feel better. I’m so, so, so sorry. Really, it was-”

He cut you off by putting a finger up and saying, “Wait...you came into my room because you were scared?

“Uh...yeah?” “I calm you down and make you feel better, really?

Okay, not the way you thought this conversation was going to go at all, but at least he wasn’t focusing on your embarrassing fear.

“Yeah, of course you do. Are you not mad or something?” You asked. Why was he caring about that?

After saying that, then he looked at you like you were an idiot. “Why would I be mad? That’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me. And many people have something to be afraid of, me included.”

You smile at Thor, just relieved that he was such a kind person. You had nothing to be nervous about, he would always be there for you. You were curious about him mentioning that he has a fear but then just decided that was a conversation for another time. 

“Thor, you are the sweetest person alive, I hope you know that.”

You both smiled and enjoyed each other’s presence. You were so grateful for such a great person in your life. 

Thor yawned before saying, “You know, I was going to work out but seeing you so comfy in bed makes me want to go back to bed. Want to sleep in?”

You give Thor a look. “Only if you make me waffles when we wake up.”

He rolled his eyes. “You humans and your weird breakfasts.”

You laughed and scooted over on the bed to make room for Thor. He got more comfortable and you moved back to cuddle with him almost immediately without even having to think about it, it was just instinct for you now.

You soon went to bed but before you fell back into deep sleep, you barely heard the comforting voice of Thor say, “I love you, Y/N.” before finally dozing off. Loud thunder could be heard once more in the room but you didn't care. You were finally cozy and cuddling with your favorite Avenger, his presence keeping the fear at bay. 

#thor #thor x reader #thor x y/n #thor x you #avengers #the avengers #marvel #mcu #thor odinson #thor fanfiction #fluff #thor fluff #cute #one bed #love #friends to lovers #chris hemsworth #hope this doesn't suck

[hotpinkhoshi]

kiss it better | five

pairing: mark tuan x reader

genre: angst, eventual smut, brother’s best friend au (sort of)

warnings: tw for death, death of a parent, reference to drug addiction

word count: 4.5k

summary: you were off limits for more reasons than mark could count. but everything changed for him the day you walked into his tattoo shop with those big innocent eyes and a laugh like his favorite song. he couldn’t. he wouldn’t. and yet…

a/n: hi babies thank you for your patience, i know it’s been many many months since i’ve updated! the last time i posted for kib was all the way back in may, which is crazy, i know. but life has been weird and it’s been difficult for me to find the motivation to write. it’s slowly coming back for me and i’m so glad you guys have stuck around with me even if i haven’t been consistent. i’m more grateful than you know!

✩ index here ✩

“She did what?” Dahyun asked, her bite of gimbap nearly falling right out of her mouth. 

Youngjae threw his head back and broke into laughter entirely at Mark’s expense. 

Mark ran his tongue over his teeth and refused to look up at his friends, focusing awfully hard on the sketch he’d been working on in between appointments. He quickly realized that they had absolutely no sympathy for him. 

“Yeah.” 

It had been two weeks already since that night, and Mark was just now feeling comfortable enough to spill what had happened after he took you home. He liked to take his own time to process his thoughts before he revealed them to others, and quite frankly, he hadn’t even wanted to tell anyone. But he was starting to think maybe he needed an outside perspective. 

“She has guts,” Youngjae said, after finally pulling himself upright in his chair. “Was it good?” 

“Dude,” Mark warned, far from amused. 

Dahyun cut in. “It’s a good enough question. From what I’ve seen, you guys have some intense sexual tension. If the kiss was hot, maybe it’s worth exploring.” 

“We don’t have sexual tension,” Mark defended. 

Youngjae snorted. 

“Sure. But, let’s say if you did, and the kiss was good…” Dahyun trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Groaning, Mark tapped the end of his pencil against the desk. He glanced up at the wall, his eyes naturally drawn to the photo of your shoulder, of the tattoo he’d designed and permanently inked onto your skin. It wasn’t the only photo he had pinned up of his previous work, but it was the one he looked at the most. 

“She’s a kid,” he said, little to no conviction in his voice. 

But you weren’t a kid. Mark knew in every way, you were an adult. Even mentally, emotionally, you seemed more mature than he felt most days. Packing up your belongings because you refused to live a life you weren’t satisfied with? He couldn’t imagine anything more grown up than that.

“Mark,” Youngjae’s tone was firm, serious this time. “It’s not the worst thing in the world if you have chemistry with someone. I know it may not be the most convenient girl for you, but… you’ve been by yourself for a long time. You can’t tell me you aren’t lonely.” 

He hadn’t thought he was lonely until you came into his life. He had been fine, so fine, living on his own. Waking up alone, eating dinner alone, focusing on his work and living one day to the next. 

But now, he looked forward to the sound of your keys in the door when you got home from your evening shift. He bought your favorite brand of orange juice instead of his. He didn’t mind watching outlandish and obviously fake reality shows if it meant that he got to hear your commentary along with it. More than anything, he’d gotten used to the way you made him feel. In the simplest of terms, he was happy. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Mark said. “I already fucked it up.”

Dahyun narrowed her eyes. “What did you do?” 

He rubbed some of the tension out of his forehead, relaying the conversation he’d had with Taehyung that night to his friends. The exchange wasn’t longer than a few minutes, but it was long enough for Mark to potentially ruin everything you’d built for yourself in the last couple of months. 

“I didn’t tell him everything - I couldn’t do that. But I told him I’d seen her in the city, that I thought maybe she worked in one of the restaurants near the shop…” A knot of guilt coiled in his stomach. “Fuck.” 

He’d just wanted to do the right thing. You were young, you couldn’t see that your parents cared about you. Taehyung cared about you. They deserved to know where you were, especially after everything they had done for him. He could at least point them in the right direction. 

“Well, shit,” Youngjae offered, a sympathetic frown on his face. 

“I fucked her over, and I haven’t been able to look her in the eye since. We’ve just avoided each other for the last two weeks and I-” Mark heaved a breath, leaning back in his chair. “I hate it.” 

He missed you. Even if he couldn’t say it out loud.

“I have an idea,” Dahyun said, her whole body perking up. “Don’t look at me like that, sometimes I have good ideas. Why don’t you invite her along for Yugyeom’s camping trip?”

“You mean the couple thing?” 

Dahyun sighed. “It’s not a couple thing. It’s just… everyone there is part of a couple. Anyway, it might be a good way to make things less awkward.” 

Mark blinked a few times, waiting for Dahyun to say ‘just kidding’ because it was an absolutely ridiculous idea. “What? How would that make things any less awkward?” 

She shrugged. “I mean, it’s a great opportunity to break the tension. If you know what I mean.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Mark scowled. 

You spent your entire shift thinking about Mark. Thinking about how you had completely messed up your relationship, and trying to figure out how to fix it all. It had been a stupid, drunken mistake, and you would take it back in a heartbeat if you could. 

The past two weeks had been torture, tiptoeing around and trying your hardest to avoid him. You’d picked up extra shifts almost every day, figuring that if you were working, at least you didn’t have to pretend like everything was normal. 

All you wanted was to come home, curl up on the couch with Milo and watch your favorite ridiculous TV shows while Mark snickered next to you, entertained by the disgustingly wealthy families on the screen no matter how much he pretended to hate it. You wanted to be able to lean into him, feel the body heat radiating off of him when his shoulder brushed yours. 

You missed Mark. Even if you couldn’t say it out loud. 

After much debating, you decided that the best way to apologize started with food. And you owed him, anyway, after he opened his home to you and let you stay there free of charge. A dinner was the least you could do. 

You could tell once you walked into Paradise Tattoo just before closing time that Mark hadn’t been expecting you in the slightest. He was at the desk, going over papers with Dahyun, when the bell dinged to signal your entrance. 

In his ripped jeans and muscle tee, all of his tattoos were on display for you, even the large quote he had inked onto his ribcage. You gulped and shoved your feelings down. That would only make things worse. 

“Hi,” you said, greeting both Mark and Dahyun. 

“Hey.” Mark scratched his head and straightened his posture. “What are you doing here?” 

“Well,” you started, wringing your hands in front of you. “I wanted to see if you wanted to get dinner? On me. I owe you, anyway.” 

Dahyun piped up, a mischievous smirk on her lips, “That’s a great idea. Mark was just talking about how hungry he was.

Mark cleared his throat and shot his co-worker what looked suspiciously like a glare. “No, I’m fine. You really don’t have to-” 

“Come on,” you said, hiding a smile. “How about burgers? There’s a good place around the corner. It won’t kill you to let me pay, will it?” 

You could see Mark weigh his options as he chewed his lip. Either end up hungry, settling for some quick frozen food later on, or bite the bullet and let you pay for his dinner. You knew it would hurt his pride to do so, but you wouldn’t back down. It was more than just the free room and board that you wanted to make up for. 

“Alright,” he finally agreed. “Let me grab my stuff.” 

It only took less than ten minutes for you to walk down to the burger place, but it felt like an hour as awkward silence hung around the two of you. It wasn’t until you were both seated at a corner booth inside the restaurant that you finally spoke up. 

“Listen, Mark,” you said, looking up from the packet of ketchup you’d been nervously squishing between your fingers. “About that night…” 

“No, you don’t-” Mark was quick to interrupt, but you held your hand up. 

“Just let me, okay?” You sighed. 

You’d rehearsed these words countless times in the bathroom mirror, and right now it felt like they were slipping right out of your fingers. Where were you supposed to start? With the kiss, straight away? Or getting so drunk that you’d needed to be taken care of in the first place?

“I’m just… really sorry. I was stupid to drink that much and it’s not your job to watch after me. I should be able to take care of myself.”

Mark stopped you again. “I didn’t mind taking care of you.” 

“But it’s not your job, Mark. I’m an adult, and you’re letting me stay with you and asking for nothing in return. The least I could do is make it easy on you.”

“Y/N, if you could have seen me at your age, you wouldn’t feel so bad. We all get drunk and stupid sometimes,” Mark said with a shrug. It almost relieved some of your guilt until you remembered the kiss in the bathroom. 

“Well...” You shook your head and looked back down at your hands. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him for this one. “I really shouldn’t have ki-” 

“Hi! My name’s Lana, I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you two something to drink while you look over the menus?”

A cheerful brunette appeared in front of you, a pen behind her ear and a wide grin plastered on her face. You glanced at Mark, then up at your waitress, not sure if you were grateful for the interruption or not. 

“Um, can I just have a water?” you asked, voice small and uncomfortable in your throat. 

“Same for me,” Mark agreed. 

“Perfect! Let me know if you have any questions about the menu!” 

You let out a long breath before you were able to look at Mark again. He was biting his cheek, his lips all twisted and holding back a laugh. 

“What?” you asked. 

“Her timing,” Mark got out, just as he let go of his laughter, throwing his head back. 

To your own surprise, you found yourself shaking with laughter as well. Either from Mark’s contagious laugh giggle or the simple ridiculousness of the situation. Here you were, in a burger restaurant, apologizing to your older brother’s best friend for kissing him while you were heavily intoxicated.

You covered your face with your hands to suppress your own laughter, letting your back slump against the cushions of the booth. It all came to you then, just how silly you’d been the last two weeks. 

“I am sorry, though,” you said, after you both settled down. 

Mark’s eyes glinted as he watched you from across the table, the ghost of a smile still on his lips. “It’s alright. I mean it. Last time I was that drunk, I’m pretty sure I ran around the block in my underwear singing the Canadian national anthem.”

You giggled again at the mental image. “What? How did you even-”

“No idea. It’s like I was possessed by a drunk Canadian mischief demon.” 

It was strange to imagine Mark and Taehyung in their teen years, since you’d been so young at the time, you could barely remember anything from that time of your life. You remembered Taehyung wearing the same pair of purple skinny jeans for three months because a girl at school had told him she liked them. 

You remembered Taehyung letting you sit in the basement in your favorite cushioned chair while he and Mark played video games on the big screen. It had been your favorite place to read then, tuning out the rambunctious cries of defeat while you got lost in other worlds. 

“So we’re okay, then?” you asked, after Lana had come back to take your order and left once more. 

Mark nodded, a genuine smile on his lips. “We’re okay.” 

“Maybe it’s weird, but…” you began, staring down at the wrapped silverware on the table instead of looking Mark in the eye. “Even though I grew up seeing you as Taehyung’s friend, that feels like a lifetime ago. And now I just kind of see you as… my friend. Like somebody I can trust.” 

When you finally looked up at Mark, his expression was unreadable. His bottom lip was between his teeth, but his eyes looked somewhat uncomfortable. You worried for a second that you’d crossed a line. 

“I owe a lot to your family,” Mark said after another long moment passed. 

Even though you didn’t remember much about Mark from your childhood years, you knew his upbringing had been rough. His parents had been addicts, the kind that never should’ve been together, let alone bring a child into the world. 

You’d never met his mom, but your own mother had made enough snide comments about her after Mark had gone home for you to understand just what kind of person she was. 

“One of those low life, worthless drug addicts. Sleeping around with anyone that can help her out, if you know what I mean. Never should’ve been a mother.”

She had a funny way of showing her compassion sometimes. 

Taehyung brought him over once after school and your mother had gotten one look at his threadbare clothes and hollow cheeks and taken him in as her new project. At first, he ate dinner with your family almost every night, and then she started making Taehyung pass over his any extra clothes he’d gotten that didn’t fit properly or that he simply didn’t like.

Mark did owe a lot to your family. 

You didn’t know what to say. You’d been so young there was no way you could take credit for anything your parents had done for Mark, but still, you itched to comfort him. Even now, with the unsaid words lingering in the air, you sensed that he had never been able to fully open up to anybody. Though you didn’t deserve it, you wanted to be the first. 

“Your mom,” you found yourself saying. “Is she…?” 

Mark shook his head. “She’s gone. Passed away a couple years ago.” 

Your face fell. If anything, you had expected her to have taken off for good or maybe gotten into some trouble she couldn’t get herself out of, but you hadn’t expected her to be gone. 

“Oh, god, Mark. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

To your surprise, he only lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I hadn’t seen her in a long time before that. Maybe two, three years. Then my aunt showed up on my doorstep with a box of her things and told me she OD’d in a gas station parking lot a week before.” 

His voice wavered only slightly, but enough to tell you he cared more than he let on. You could only imagine how painful it would be to hear of your own mother’s passing a week after the fact. 

“I’m sorry,” you said again. 

Mark shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s weird,” he said, tongue running over his lower lip as he paused. “I’d stopped seeing her as my mother so long ago that… I felt like I’d already mourned her death. Fuck, that sounds bad, doesn’t it?”

“No,” you answered as you reached across the table, fingers laying across the back of Mark’s hand. “It doesn’t. At all.”

A moment passed between the two of you. You caught Mark’s eyes glancing down at your hand resting on his skin, but he made no move to avoid your touch. 

“I never even went through her things. The box is just sitting at the back of my bedroom closet collecting dust.” 

“Do you want to go through her things?” you asked. 

Mark paused, chewing at the inside of his lip before he answered. “I don’t know.”

You nodded, somehow understanding exactly what he meant. Though you hadn’t gone through the same thing, you were familiar with avoiding a potentially painful and uncomfortable situation by simply pretending it didn’t exist. Hence why you had four unopened voicemails from your brother and parents. 

You found yourself stroking the back of Mark’s hand with your thumb. It didn’t feel wrong to touch him like this, even though maybe it should have. All you wanted was to bring him a shred of the comfort he had deserved to have for much longer than you’d known him. 

“Alrighty, and here we’ve got the bacon cheeseburger and sweet potato fries for the lady,” Lana exclaimed, immediately bursting your bubble as she returned to your table with your food balanced on a tray. You were quick to snatch your hand from Mark’s. “And a BBQ cheddar burger with curly fries for the handsome man.”

You didn’t miss the way Lana winked as she placed Mark’s food in front of him. This girl was not getting a generous tip from you, that was for sure. 

“I told you, after that depressing dinner conversation, we need to do something fun,” you told Mark as you carried your skincare basket out from the bathroom into the living room.

“And this is fun for who?” 

You threw him a playful glance and plopped down onto the floor in front of the couch on your knees, setting your basket on the cushion and sifting through it. 

“Both of us. Just trust me.” 

Catching the skeptic look on Mark’s face, you could only grin to yourself as you pulled out a tube of your favorite clay mask. He didn’t know just how relaxing a good face mask could be, but you were willing to show him. 

“I’ll even go first,” you told him. 

Mark lifted his feet to prop them up on the coffee table as Milo curled up like a tiny ball of cotton on his lap. You’d both changed out of your work clothes into comfy clothes, and you couldn’t help noticing how warm Mark looked in his white joggers and oversized black hoodie. You wouldn’t mind snuggling up into that space between his side and the couch cushion… 

You sighed and shook your head, attempting to clear the less-than-platonic thoughts from your mind. If you were going to make this friendship work, you would need to stop thinking about him like that. Immediately.

“Can I ask you something?” Mark said after a beat of silence as you popped open the cap to your mask. 

“Hm?” you asked, propping your personal sized makeup mirror on the couch so that you could see yourself while you applied your mask. 

“Yugyeom’s family has a yearly pass to this campground, and every year he does this weekend camping trip…” he trailed off for a moment and you forced yourself not to react, instead focusing on applying your charcoal mask to your cheeks. “This year, it somehow ended up as a couple thing, so Dahyun suggested I invited a friend along. So…” 

Lifting your eyes from your own reflection, you watched as Mark struggled to finish his thought. 

“So…” you said, helping him along. “Are you asking me to come with you?” 

Immediately, a neon flashing red alarm screeched in your mind. ‘This is a terrible idea! You must say no!’ it screamed.

“Only if you want to. I mean, it’s a cool place. Their lot is right by this swimming hole and there’s a fire pit, so we normally bring a ton of booze and cook our own food over the fire…” 

Mark ran his fingers through his deep red locks of hair, his nerves displayed clearly on his face. You weren’t sure why he was so nervous to ask you, but it came off as incredibly endearing. Despite the warnings blaring in your mind, you found yourself nodding. 

“Okay.” 

Mark looked at you then, his eyes finally locking on yours, and the corner of his lips lifted in a hopeful smile. “Really?”

You couldn’t help grinning as well. “Yeah. I mean, on one condition…”

“Oh?” 

“Mhm,” you replied, holding up the mask tube and popping the cap back open. “You let me put this mask on you.”

“Aish,” Mark said and shook his head. “No way. Not worth it.”

“Oh, come on, you big baby!” 

You stood from the floor and climbed onto the couch, crawling to his side and squeezing some of the mask onto your index and middle fingers. “It’s not that bad!”

“Get away from me!” Mark exclaimed with a laugh, dodging your fingers. Milo hopped up onto the arm of the couch, stomping his cute little paws a few times. 

“Just let me pamper you, Mark!” 

He let out another laugh, louder this time, trying to reach for the mask to steal from your grasp, but he wasn’t fast enough. You giggled, ducking to miss his hands as he grabbed for your wrists. 

Somehow, you found yourself straddling him, thighs resting on either side of Mark’s waist. 

“Real men wear face masks!” you exclaimed with a shout of victory as you finally managed to smear a good amount of the clay mask across Mark’s left cheek. 

“Oh, you little-” he replied, hands reaching for your sides underneath the long sleeved shirt you were wearing. He tickled your sides, a joyful laugh falling from his lips when you started squealing. 

Milo yapped a few times from the arm of the chair, presumably because he thought that you were hurting Mark or vice versa, but his protective barks only made you laugh harder. 

“Mark! Stop it!” 

You gasped for breath, wriggling on top of him and dropping the mask tube, fighting between giggling and trying to swat his hands away. 

“It’s what you deserve, you sneak,” he said, his hands still squeezing and tickling your sides, unknowingly drifting further up your shirt to your ribs. 

Twisting and turning, you finally managed to grab his wrists and yanked them from under your shirt. You held them firmly in between your bodies, even though he could have easily overpowered you. 

Your chest heaved up and down with the last of your giggles. Mark stared up at you, still smiling and out of breath. The air suddenly became thick as you held eye contact, your hands falling from his wrists to his chest. 

“Y/N,” Mark whispered. 

‘Danger! Danger!’ your mind yelled. 

Mark’s hands, now free from your hold, landed on your hips. You felt his thumbs slip under the hem of your shirt, stroking the bare skin of your stomach. Your heart pounded beneath your rib cage at his gentle touch. 

“Mark,” you said, intending on telling him to stop, but it quickly died in your throat. 

His chin tipped up, making you realize just how close you were to him now. You weren’t sure who had leaned in first, but only a few mere inches separated your lips from his now. If you only bent forward a bit, you could… 

It reminded you, all of the sudden, of the kiss in the bathroom. It had been quick, but long enough for you to slide your tongue past his lips. You remembered the shock to your system the moment you had felt the cold metal of a tongue piercing. 

“Y/N,” Mark said again. “Tell me to stop.”

His voice was quiet but you felt like you could read between the lines. He didn’t want to stop, and the only way he was going to stop was if you made it clear that you didn’t want this. 

But you did. You’d wanted it from the moment he ran his fingers over the tattoo he’d inked onto your skin one of those first nights, a soft ghost of a touch that made goosebumps form on every inch of your skin. 

You weren’t stupid, you knew that this was all wrong for a variety of reasons, the least of which being that he was your roommate. But that meant nothing to you compared to the way his hands felt on your skin.

Before you could open your mouth, tell him that you didn’t want him to stop, an 8-bit version of the Mario Kart theme blasted from somewhere behind you. You jumped, your heart skipping several beats from the surprise. 

Mark took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, blinking a few times before he gently guided your hips to climb off of him. “Sorry, I should…”

The ringtone felt familiar but you couldn’t figure out why. Even as you watched Mark grab for his phone off the coffee table and immediately silence it, you wracked your brain to try and remember where you had heard that ringtone before. 

It was as if Taehyung had known, the moment that Mark quieted the little voice in his head telling him not to be so close to you and that this was wrong in so many ways, and finally accepted his feelings for you.  

Maybe he had a sixth sense. 

The moment that had passed between you then had been effectively ruined as soon as he was reminded of two things: you were his childhood best friend’s little sister, and he had already ruined your life even if you didn’t know it yet. 

But he’d been so close to giving in. You’d been on top of him, smiling in that innocently beautiful way that you did, your thighs caging in his hips. He hadn’t missed the fact that he could feel you with every inch of him, considering how he’d begged his body not to react, not to harden beneath you. Between the thin layers of his sweats and your sleep shorts, there was no way you wouldn’t notice. 

Later, after you’d grabbed a washcloth so you could both wipe the face mask off your faces and awkwardly watch TV for an hour before enough time could pass for you to realistically head off to bed, Mark listened to the voicemail Taehyung had left. 

“Hey man. I just wanted to let you know that uh, I’m going to try and head to the city and look for Y/N in a few weeks. If you see her again or have any idea where she might be, let me know. I really appreciate it, my mom’s been going crazy… anyway, maybe we can grab a drink or something once I’m in town. I’ll hit you up. Thanks again, Mark.”

Mark was glad he was in the privacy of his own bedroom when he listened to the message so you didn’t see the way he threw his phone down on the bed, muttering curse words to himself and trying to forget how heavenly you had felt on top of him. 

It was impossible. All he could think about was your skin under his fingertips, how your lips had been so soft and smooth and close to his, and how the weight of you on top of him had been enough to make him hard. 

His only option was to shut himself in the bathroom and crank the shower all the way to the coldest temperature that he could stand and pray that it would be enough to keep him from sneaking into your bedroom that night. 

#mark tuan #got7creators #kibfic #got7 fanfic #mark tuan fanfic #mark tuan angst #mark tuan fluff #got7 mark #got7 imagine #writing

[thearvariblues]

A Man of Easy Virtues

Just another ‘I’m so sorry but I couldn’t resist’ fics I wrote instead of, you know, doing the important things I should be doing.

This time it’s based on @likecastle‘s post about the kind of pants Jaskier should be wearing (and isn’t wearing, obviously) in the show and all the fanfics.

Warning for almost underage slutty bard (don’t worry, though, he’s eighteen, so definitely not a kid) and no Geralt in sight.

And yes, there will definitely be a part 2.

*

“You don’t understand,” Jaskier sighs and looks down at the tiny, fat tailor in front of him. “I just need a pair of pants that stays up without a hundred tiny ribbons.”

“They aren’t ribbons, young man,” the tailor says. “They are actually called–”

“I don’t care what they’re called. I don’t want them anywhere near me.”

“How would your pants stay up, then?” the tailor frowns.

“I don’t know. You’re the expert!”

The tailor sighs and lifts his hands to fix Jaskier’s partially unbuttoned doublet.

“Young man. How old are you?”

“Eighteen,” Jaskier mutters.

“Eighteen,” the man repeats. “Are you aware, young man, that what you’re asking for is very inappropriate?”

“But very practical. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get into appropriate clothes when you’re in a hurry?”

“There are things you cannot hurry up, young man. This is one of them.”

“Have you ever tried telling that to an angry cuckold?”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing,” Jaskier bites his lower lip. “Could you at least consider–”

“No.”

“I will pay you double–”

“Still no. There,” the man smiles, straightening Jaskier’s collar. “Much better now. Your chemise is meant to be hidden. You wouldn’t want people to think that you are a man of easy virtues, would you?”

“Oh, no,” Jaskier mutters. “That would be horrible…”

*

“Fuck, yes,” Jaskier moans as a pair of eager hands slip into his doublet. “Please.”

“Mhmh,” his lover’s deep voice answers, impatiently tugging at Jaskier’s chemise. “More skin. Right fucking now.”

“I actually don’t think,” Jaskier murmurs between the kisses, “that it will be possible to… Oh, yes.”

The hands slip lower and try to get into Jaskier’s pants. They don’t succeed. The man – the Witcher, for fuck’s sake – growls.

Which is fair, Jaskier assumes, because while the young student’s fingers are roaming freely over the scarred torso and firm buttocks, Jaskier is still fully clothed. And it is going to take forever before he’s naked.

“Drowner’s shrunken ball sack,” the Witcher swears, tugging at one of the points holding Jaskier’s clothes together. “I’d sooner get into a noonwraith’s rotting cunt than your asshole!”

“Yeah, it’s a little complicated, but if you let go for a little while–”

“Oh, fuck off,” the man grunts and before Jaskier even blinks, there’s a long knife in the man’s hand. And before Jaskier manages to open his mouth to protest, the man makes short work of all the points and unceremoniously throws Jaskier onto the bed, grinning.

“Well, fuck me,” Jaskier whispers, feeling his blood rush straight to his crotch (well, at least the tiny amount of blood that wasn’t there already).

“That’s the plan,” the man nods, cutting Jaskier’s chemise open. “The name’s Lambert, in case you forgot. Because I expect you to scream it until your voice is fucking raw.”

“Yes, sir,” Jaskier purrs.

The Witcher smiles.

“Good boy.”

*

“Melitele’s tits!” Jaskier swears, staring at his pants in disbelief.

Lambert lifts his head from the pillow and raises an eyebrow.

“Problem?” he asks.

“There is, actually. You completely ruined them!” Jaskier growls and throws his currently useless pants at him. “How the fuck am I supposed to get back home?”

“Oh, come on. I was careful not to cut anything but those motherfucking tiny ribbons. It’s not the end of the world. What do you need them for, anyway? I mean apart from driving potential lovers insane with lust.”

“Well, for nothing important. Just holding the fucking thing up,” Jaskier sighs and puts on his doublet, which is his only piece of clothing that’s intact. He’s slowly coming to terms with walking home with his ass bare. Again. Third time this week.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Lambert frowns. “Shit. Sorry, I guess. Would you like my spare pair?”

“Does it have the points, or did you cut them off when you urgently needed to take a shit?” Jaskier smirks.

“I honestly don’t know what the fuck are you even talking about.” Lambert gets up and after a few seconds of rummaging through his bag he pulls out a pair of worn-out leather pants and throws them to Jaskier. “Here. Take them. Guess what. They stay up on their own.”

“They… do?” Jaskier whispers, his eyes going comically wide.

“Honey, when werewolves attack your camp while your Cat Witcher boyfriend is balls-deep in your ass, you don’t have time to tie some fucking ribbons.”

“Cat Witcher…” Jaskier blinks.

As if on cue, the room’s door open and a lean, long-haired blond man rushes in, slams the door closed behind him and starts dragging a large chest in front of it.

“Oh, you’re done. Good,” he says to Lambert. “We need to leave. Now.”

“Aiden, I swear by Vesemir’s flaccid cock…” Lambert groans. “What did I ask you – no, beg you not to do tonight?!”

“I swear I didn’t cheat this time!” the man says, leaning with his full weight against the chest just as someone starts to bang on the door. “It’s not my fault I’m so fucking good at gwent, is it?”

“Good at gwent my ass. I could beat you drunk if you didn’t have another whole pack stuffed into your sleeves.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lambert. It’s not a whole pack. Just like… twenty cards or something, usually.” The man grins at Jaskier. The doorknob rattles. “Hey, Lambert’s fuck of the day. I’d suggest you start getting dressed.”

“Just how many did you manage to piss off this time?” Lambert asks, already pulling his shirt over his head.

“Not many. I could deal with them in a matter of seconds, but you always say your brother doesn’t like it when Witchers murder innocent citizens.”

“You mean my brother the fucking Butcher of Blaviken?” Lambert laughs.

Jaskier looks up from fastening his (well, Lambert’s) pants and gapes at the two Witchers.

“Your brother,” he whispers. “Your brother is Geralt of–”

“Not now,” Lambert says. “We’re in a bit of a hurry. Tell me, Jaskier, have you ever jumped out of a window before?”

“Four times just this week. Mostly to escape jealous husbands. A jealous wife, in one case.”

“Good,” Aiden nods, letting go of the chest supporting the door and grabbing his bag. “Let’s jump.”

*

The tiny, fat tailor is staring at the pair of worn-out black leather pants laid out in front of him with polite disgust.

“Not possible,” he says for the fifth time.

“Let’s be absolutely clear here,” Jaskier smiles and his voice holds just a hint of a promise of some very unpleasant things that could hypothetically happen to the tiny man. “Do you know my name?”

“No, young man, and I wouldn’t care even if you were–”

“Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove,” Jaskier says calmly.

“Oh,” the man replies and he suddenly seems even smaller than before.

“I am willing to pay you twice your usual fee–”

“Sir, what you’re requiring is outrageous–”

“Three times.”

“I couldn’t possibly sully the name of my shop with such an immodest–”

“Four times your usual fee, and an opportunity to start a fashion revolution.”

The man closes his eyes and nods slowly.

“Four times my usual fee. You can keep the revolution. It’s not as if you can find another man willing to wear something so scandalous…”

*

In a month, almost every young man in Oxenfurt (and several young women) wears the same model of pants Jaskier does. It’s much more comfortable, and also much easier to get into if you happen to get caught naked in a bed you shouldn’t be in, making it an instant hit among the students.

When Jaskier jumps, completely dressed, out of yet another window, this time running from a father whose two sons he just fucked into the bed, he thinks that he definitely has to thank Lambert and Aiden properly the next time he sees them.

Or any other Witcher he meets until then.

They basically saved his life, didn’t they?

#the witcher #witcher fic #witcher fanfiction #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #lambert x aiden #lambden #because when i write about lambert i just can't NOT include aiden okay?! #also jaskier can't keep his pants up #quite literally #my fics #attempt at humor

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired chapter 5

A/N: this went in a completely different direction than the original comic did but I think its better this way. More angstier.

Chapter 4

The glow of blue fire emanates from the Witches’ house. As the three brothers watched, the child tucked safely into Lucifer’s arm, the mood was solemn.

“So, it’s over? What happens now?” Beel asked.

“We go home,” The Avatar of Pride replies, “And we help Mammon do his best to move past this...” He turns to look at his brothers, the glow from the fire casting a dark shadow over his face. “We’re finished here. Let’s go.”

A portal was opened as the eldest walked through followed by the others. On the other side, he found Levi and Belphegor trying to move Satan’s old crib from the attic down to Arella’s old room.

“Come on, Levi, put your back into it!” Belphie said as they moved down the stairs carefully. “I’m practically carrying this thing on my own here.”

“I'm trying! A shut in like me isn’t meant to be moving something so heavy.” Levi groaned as he hefted the crib up further.

Lucifer only cleared his throat as the seventh and third-born brothers looked his way. “Where’s Mammon?”

“I used my powers to put him back to sleep so he could rest up before the kid got here.” The Avatar of Sloth replied. “He doesn’t need to be over-tired and dealing with an infant at the same time. It’s a recipe for disaster, if you ask me. ”

At the commotion, Arella came out of the kitchen where she was washing out all of the old baby bottles they would need. “Oh, you’re back. I can take him now. Beel, would you help them with the crib please? It’ll be going in my old room for the time being, and Satan, would you finish drying the bottles for me, please?”

Both brothers nodded with Beel stepping forth to take the crib from his brothers and Satan headed to the kitchen. Levi and Belphie let out exhausted sighs as they headed off to their rooms and the only two left now in the entrance hall were Lucifer and Arella. She held her arms out for the little one and Lucifer was all too happy to oblige her.

With a small cry of discontentment, the baby settled into her arms quickly as she shushed him. She rocked him gently until he was back to sleep. Seeing her step so readily into the role of motherhood left the demon impressed.

“He’s already had a diaper change around two hours ago and he ate around an hour ago so he should be fine for a little bit.”

”Alright, he is frightfully thin though which worries me, but he’s in good hands now.”

“Why are you doing this, Arella? You know you don’t have to and yet here you are, embracing a child that’s not even yours.”

“Do I need a reason?” She smiles as she looked up at him. “I don’t think I do. I suppose if I have to have a reason it would be that I just want to help Mammon. He can’t do this alone. Don’t you think that’s enough?”

The Avatar of Pride only nodded. “You humans never cease to amaze me with your generosity. Has he thought of a name yet?”

“He threw a couple names out there but ultimately he couldn’t decide so he asked me to choose the name from the ones he suggested.”

“And?”

“I chose the name Cyrus, from the Latin meaning sun. Right now, it’s a very dark time in our lives, but I hope one day he’ll be bright like a little ray of sunshine.”

“Very thoughtful of you,” The demon hums. “But are you sure you’ll be alright tonight? You’ve been up nearly all night. You have to be exhausted by now.”

“I’ll be alright. This isn’t the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter. When I graduated from Cambridge a couple years back, I earned myself a degree in biochemical engineering. I can’t tell you the number of sleepless nights I had cramming in last minute reviews. This won’t be anything compared to those. I’m obviously not planning to go to RAD tomorrow, so I can just sleep when Cyrus sleeps.”

“You can take online courses then. We’re going to try to pass him off as your child for that to work you’ll need to be absent from RAD for an extended period of time. If word gets out that my brother was assaulted, the mockery he’ll face will be absolutely ridiculous. It’ll be easy since demons don’t know much about human anatomy. We can always say it was a surprise pregnancy and you never showed.”

Arella only nodded at that. “Thank you,” she turned and headed to her old room for the night to settle the baby.

----------------------------------------------

Mammon slept for a full eight hours before waking up with a start. While he felt rested, there was also an odd sense of worry flowing through him. He looked around frantically and then realized what was missing. Arella wasn’t with him. He got out of bed and made his way around the house looking for his mate. She would be in the last place he looked- in her room. He shrunk back at the sight of his child resting against her chest, as a soft purring noise filled the room. The sight reminded him just how much he wanted them to have a child of their own together.

The demon stood there, mesmerized by the sight in front of him until his human noticed him. She motioned for him to join her on the bed, a bright smile enveloped her features as he did just that.

“He’s beautiful, love.” She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Do you want to try to hold him?”

He shook his head as he rested his cheek against her. “I don’t know if I can right now...” The Avatar of Greed only frowned. He wanted to hold Cyrus but he still felt like none of this was real. “It feels like a bad dream... Like I’ll wake up any second now.”

“That’s alright. If it helps, you could pretend that he was always our son to begin with. It might help you in the long run.”

“Do ya think... maybe I can trick myself like that?” He reached out and stroked the child’s cheek. “’Rella, I don’t get it... How can somethin’ so beautiful be born from somethin’ so horrible?”

“Sometimes the best things come from tragedy, Love. I’m so proud of you for being strong enough to take him in, do you know that?”

Mammon would only nod in response as a tiny hand came to wrap around his finger. For a moment all the air was stolen out of his chest as he recoiled from the contact slightly. The feeling of a crushing weight on his chest that he had only felt in his worst nightmares had returned. Suddenly, he wondered if he made the right decision as the realization set in that he was a father now. What if he was never able to love his son? What kind of damage would that do to his child? Could he do this?

“Mammon?”

“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry,” he takes a few deep breaths and he’s able to calm himself. “I'll take him now. Hafta get past this at some point. I hafta be the parent he needs.”

“You will be. I have faith in you.” Arella kissed his cheek before carefully transferring Cyrus to his father. “I know you’ll be a fantastic father once you’re able to see him separately from what his mother and aunts did to you.”

He only nodded as Arella cards her fingers through his hair. He thought this would be a monumental challenge at first, and it still was but as long as she was here, he thought maybe things would go smoother.

—————————————————————

The crying was the worst part for Mammon and Cyrus was unfortunately a fussy baby. Over the past few weeks since he’d been brought home, there were multiple times where the white-haired demon had to leave the room whenever his child cried or pass him off to his adoptive mother, feeling too physically sick to listen to or even look at the child.

The end of the spring term was nearly upon them and since exams would be coming up. Mammon took every chance he could to stay late at RAD for some extra studying with Satan and Asmodeus, knowing he had to get his grades back up. But the guilt was eating away at him. Arella was at home all day, typically alone, with his child. Any good father- any good mate- would be rushing home to give his partner a break to take time for herself and Mammon knows this but even when he doesn’t stay late at school he finds himself dragging his feet to get home.

He stared and stared at the work book in front of him. It was curses and hexes, one of his most hated subjects and arguably his worst grade. Eventually, he just shut the work book, taking of his glasses and just rubbing his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. This caught the attention of his younger brothers.

”You alright, Mams?” Asmo asked as he set his pen down.

”Am I a bad father?” The white-haired demon countered with his own question.

”No, of course not.” Satan frowned. “Given everything that happened, I’d say you’re doing great.”

”It doesn’t feel like it,” he frowned. “This is my kid and yet it feels like Arella’s doin’ all the work. Takin’ care of him all the time, stayin’ home with him all the time… It should be me doin’ all the work not her! I’m the one who said I’d keep him and yet I can’t bring myself to do anything for him. A-And its not like I don’t know how to take care of a baby. I’ve done it before.”

The Avatar of Greed ran a hand through his hair in frustration before packing up his things.

”Where are you going?” Satan yelled after his brother before being shushed by the librarian.

”Home! To apologize to my mate and force myself to take care of my child.”

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Next

Masterlist 2

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me! shall we date? #obey me angst #mammon angst #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me oc #arella #cyrus

[hops-hunny]

I dunno lmao how about the reader is at a sleepover and her friends dare her to late night text Neville as a joke (little do they know she has a big fat crush on nev) later in the night when everyone is asleep he responds and it ends with them meeting up later and fucking 🥴

PRONOUNS: SHE/HER

hfeber I'm sorry I really wanted an excuse to mention pothead!neville again but I'll redo this if you don't like it.

It was another Friday night which meant (Y/n) was with her girls doing the usual, sleepover and blazing up. They always did this as a hooray to celebrate getting through the week no matter how tough it was. They all had their duties, Ginny would get the booze, Luna would get the food, Hermione would take care of the playlist, and as always they'd send (Y/n) to get the weed from Neville.

All of the girls knew about her obvious crush on the boy and were constantly encouraging to make a move. She was a beautiful girl and Neville would be lucky to have her. However, being filled with her own anxiety, she never would. The interaction between them would always be the same. Neville would greet her, she'd tell him what she wanted, and he'd send her on her way leaving her with some sort of ambiguous yet flirty phrase. Even though he did this (and gave her discounts on the regular) she was still not sure of where she stood with him. As a weed dealer it was his job to be nice to people so they'd come back to him. 'It's good for business' is what she told herself but her heart didn't care, it still would race anyways.

In typical sleepover fashion, the girls were encouraging each other to do stupid things that they'd all regret the next day when they were alone dealing with the consequences. That didn't phase them any, that was tomorrow them's problem. So far Ginny had sent Harry a nude tease, Hermione had blocked Ron to get a reaction out of him, and Luna had given herself a cartilage piercing, (Y/n) obviously encouraging all of them. The laughter from their reaction to Harry's freak out had started to die down as they all looked at each other.

"Hey (Y/n)? I don't think you've done anything tonight." Ginny coughed out, passing the bong to Hermione who was whining for it.

"O-oh um, maybe Luna could give me another piercing?" she stuttered out, praying to the gods that they didn't bring up anything to do with him. But as if they could hear her thoughts, Luna piped up.

"I think you should text Neville." she said, giving the girl a knowing smirk. (Y/n) sighed, relaxing her shoulders. That was all? Her and Neville texted occasionally although a lot of the time it was just her being on his way to buy from him. She pulled out her phone, opening her phone scrolling to the contact 'Nev the Plug' and beginning to type out a message.

"What should I say, just hi?" she asked, hitting send on the message before her friends could say anything, She lifted her head as she heard Ginny speak up.

"Oh no, no, no! You've gotta be a bit more bold than that! After that little stunt you made me pull? Ha!" she said, scooting next to the girl. They all hovered over her phone to stare at the screen. "You've gotta send anything we tell you."

"W-what?! That's ridiculous. Plus I doubt he'll resp-" she was cut off from the ding as she stared down at her phone. Everyone cooed and poked at her teasingly at the message.

'Hey cutie, what's up? Why're you up so late? Try to get some rest love💗

"Oh come on, he clearly likes you! 'Hey cutie'?!" Hermione said, scoffing as she stared at her friend. (Y/n) shrugged sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck.

"He always calls me stuff like that." she mumbled, looking away from them.

"Okay type this, are you ready?" (Y/n) nods, looking at Ginny, hovering her thumbs over the screen. "Nothing really. You know Nev, you're usually giving me weed but I wish there was something else you'd give me."

(Y/n) looked wide eyed at the words she had just typed, reluctantly hitting send. She prayed that he wouldn't respond for a while, squeaking as the notification sound went off. They all looked at her, pushing her and encouraging to open the message. She sighed when it was simple.

'Oh yeah? And what would that be exactly?'

"I-it's not too late to go back guys! I could say something nice like, yknow, a hug!" she tried to persuade them, groaning as she saw they weren't budging. "Hey! Give it back!" she screamed as Ginny stood tall, typing out a message quickly before giving her phone back to her. She gaped at she saw the words on the screen.

'You. I wanna feel you deep inside of me. Wish you'd fuck me all night long.'

"Ginny I would never say something like that!" sure, she had thought about it briefly. If briefly and every night were the same thing. She'd slide her hand into her underwear, wondering what it'd feel like if they were his finger or even better his..

"Yeah but you sure would think it. You're not all that innocent. I mean look at you, smoking from the bong to knock some edge off of your nerves." Luna said as it was simply a fact and not reading her to filth.

Eventually as they all began to drift off the bed, the embarrassment disappeared as they all began to fall asleep, exhaustion hitting them like a brick. She had even forgotten about the text until her phone dinged. She looked around her making sure her friend's were sleep as she read the message.

'Sorry it took me so long to reply. Was making sure my mates left. How bout you come to me now and I can do just that? I'm sure you'd like that wouldn't you, pretty girl?'

She swallowed harshly, nerves flooding her. She could ignore it. She could turn her phone right back off and act like she never received the text and tell him the next morning that it wasn't her, that it was her friends. However, was she really going to turn away such a great offer?

She sighed, slipping on her slippers before she sparked the blunt and began to walk towards Neville's dorm.

-----------------------------

She stood outside of the large wooden door, wondering exactly what she'd say when he opened the door. Well, what do you say to the cute boy who deals you weed who you just so happen to be fucking in a mere few minutes. In her free hand, she knocked on the door lightly, shrieking when it was ripped open. There Neville stood looking way hotter than usual. Maybe it was the weed or maybe it was just her, but the sight of him stood there, shirtless in nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms with his shaggy hair all messy did not help the pooling that was happening between her legs.

"Hey. Figured it was you, you always walk really loudly when you're blazed. 'M surprised Filch didn't get to you before me." he chuckled, pulling her into the room. She took in the familiar scent of weed and flowers, both of which Neville grew within his dorm. It was ironic to think that the guy who always had bud on him was also the guy who'd sit there for hours, tending and caring for his plants. She looked up at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest.

"Come here love. You look so pretty tonight." he rasped out, trailing his large hands down her back side and under her dress. His hazel eyes widened slightly as he gripped at her bare ass, pinching it some. "No underwear? What a naughty girl you are." he chuckled out, lifting her dress above her head. (Y/n) crossed her arms over her chest self consciously as he continued to stare at her. She didn't know if it was her fuzzy mind or her nerves but it felt like forever that he had been staring at her.

"I-I'm sorry. Is it not what you were expecting?" she whispered softly. She felt the tip of his thick fingers lift her chin up as the other hand uncrossed her arms.

"No it's just, bloody hell you're gorgeous. Are you sure you wanna do this...with me?" he asked, saying the last part softly. She mustered up some courage, stepping forward as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down some. She placed a soft kiss on his lips before pulling away with a soft grin.

"Nothing would make me happier than having you fuck me senseless right now."

Neville growled, lifting her up as he pinned her against the door. He sucked on her bottom lip before leaning in, kissing her deeply. She moaned softly tangling her dainty fingers in his hair as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their tongues danced around in sync, Neville's rapturing hers as it pleased. He sucked on her muscle before pulling away, a trail of saliva connecting their lips. He sat down on the bed, pulling her into his lap.

"You don't understand how long I've wanted to do this. I've been dreaming of this moment every night and now that it's here, merlin, I'm a lucky bloke." she smiled at his words, looking away as her face heat up. Her thoughts started to get to her though, was he only interested in sleeping with her?

"U-um actually Neville, I don't think it's right for me to do this without telling you. I um..I really like you. I don't think I can do this if this is all that'll be of us. I don't want to just be your 4am bootyc-" she was cut off by a familiar pair of soft pink lips on her own as he grasped her face, stroking her cheek gently.

"Can't you see that I'm mad for you, princess? I wouldn't just be up at this time for anyone. I absolutely adore you. I don't go around giving discounts and free weed to every girl that comes to me." He trailed his hands up and down her waist before gripping it tightly. "Then again, you're not just some girl." he mumbled, beginning to trail open mouth kisses down her neck, stopping to bite and suck along her collarbone. (Y/n) began to whine and moan, rubbing her cunt along his lap. The fabric of his crotch region was completely soaked through due to her messy cunny dripping and oozing all on top of him.

"S-sorry. I was already horny and when I'm high it just gets worse. So sensitive." she muttered, hiding her face in his neck. He chuckled, grazing his thumb against her slit eliciting a whimper from her lips.

"What a messy little thing. Your pussy's dripping everywhere. As much as I'd love to taste it, I have no clue when my room mates will be back so we've gotta make this quick." He felt as she tensed in his arms, rubbing her back soothingly. "Don't worry love, I'm still gonna make you feel good." he slid two fingers in her, surprised as they went in easily. She felt her face heat up as she looked away from him sheepishly.

"C-couldn't help myself. I was so horny earlier but I couldn't make myself cum. Wanted you to." she stuttered out. She looked down as Neville lifted her slightly to pull out his cock, gasping at the size of him. His cock was long and fat and in its current state, rock hard. She eagerly crawled hovering over him, sinking down on him quickly. They both moaned in unison, feeling overly sensitive due to their cloudy state.

Neville gripped at her hips, guiding her up and down along him. After a while, he got impatient and wrapped his arms around her waist, jack hammering his cock into her. She shrieked out a moan, scratching and digging her nails into his back.

"S-so good Nev! M-more. Deeper!" she moaned, crying out as he bit and sucked along her neck. (Y/n) sneaked a shaky hand between her legs, beginning to rub at her clit until she felt a large hand remove hers, replacing it with his own.

"Let me take care of you, baby. I've got you, relax." he spoke. She could barely make out what he was saying as her eyes filled with tears of overstimulation. She met his thrust eagerly causing the boy to let out a long moan. He gripped at her hips harder, thrusting impossibly hard as he felt her clench around him. "Go head pretty girl, cum. Cum for me, petal." he said through gritted teeth, feeling his own release coming as well. She began to whine, chasing the orgasm she'd be craving.

Finally as on que, her orgasm came crashing down on her in one big wave. She felt herself drown in the feeling, stars dancing across her vision. She gasped, crying more as she felt Neville's warm cum, spill deep inside of her making her feel impossibly full. (Y/n) leaned into his embrace, relaxing as he soothed and cooed at her.

Meanwhile back at her dorm:

"That little minx! She actually went through with it." Ginny said in disbelief as they looked down at her phone. (Y/n) had snapped them a picture of her head on a chest- which couldn't be anyone but Neville- with the caption 'I have no regrets💖'

#brattysblurbs:neville #neville x reader #neville longbottom x reader

[mellowswriting]

Sweet but Fierce S/O

**some of these are more blurbs than headcanons... what can I say, it got away from me

Mando: 

The duality is something Mando sees often with you, and he can’t deny that he loves it. You aren’t just sweet and soft with him, an experienced bounty hunter who by definition was the opposite of soft, but you were so good with the Child. You could get him to sleep like you had cast a spell over him, fed and played and talked with him as if you could actually understand his babbling. Soft and sweet wasn’t something Mando saw often in his life and now he can’t get enough of it.

But Mando is familiar with fierce, and seeing the way you protect the Child and his beskar-clad father? It honestly turns him on beyond comprehension. How can the same hands that provide comfort and care so readily also viciously break the bones in the wrist of someone unfortunate enough to have made a grab for the Child? How can the same hands that make warm, delicious food for your little clan (a habit you picked up after balking at Mando’s tendency to survive solely on ration bars) also steadily hold a blaster to the temple of an idiot who tried to remove Mando’s helmet?

As a Mandalorian, he is so used to the world being black and white, either or. Every bit of you is refreshing to him - the considerate gestures, the soothing touches, the biting need to protect those you love. It’s a precious quality. 

It’s also incredibly attractive. Mandalorian culture is based in caring for and protecting children, so seeing you so fiercely loving?? Basically it makes him want to rail you into oblivion, but that’s neither here nor there. 

Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales:

Frankie could use a little sweetness in his life. It’s been a tough time, coming back from all that shit that went down in South America. He was closer than ever with the boys of course, but something was missing. He needed something more. So when Pope introduced you to him at his barbeque, Frankie was beyond interested.

It was a whirlwind, falling in love with you. You changed his life in the best ways; taught him which yoga poses would help with his achy back, filled his house with soft blankets and delicious coffees, listened to him ramble on as he drove. And the way you talked about your work, your career? It’s enamoring. 

Your work is how he gets to see that fierce side. The two of you were out to lunch when your phone rang - it was one of your clients, apparently dealing with some sort of crisis. Frankie couldn’t deny you when you asked him to drive you to her home, especially since he had driven you to the small restaurant. Frankie leans against his car door as you go up to her house. 

Apparently her landlord was illegally trying to evict her. You have no issue getting in his face and telling him with a terrifying kind of calm that you have no issue calling the police and your company’s lawyers. You’ll have him buried in litigation and fines for the next decade if he doesn’t stop being a greedy piece of shit and go about his day elsewhere. If that wasn’t enough to have Frankie wide eyed (and drooling just a bit tbh), you seem to fall right back into your sweet self as you calm your client and reassure her that all will be fine. 

Hell, maybe Frankie could use a little spitfire in his life, too.

Javier Peña:

How? Just. How?

Javier doesn't understand how you've managed to be so sweet when surrounded by the shit you both worked with everyday. Your eyes are so bright and soft, your smiles easy and pure, every gesture full of unwavering kindness. Working in admin meant you saw all of the reports, all of the gruesome pictures of the aftermath of Escobar’s men. So again: how?

Christ, you always offer to get coffees for him and Murphy on those endlessly long days where every lead seems to fizzle out and he wants nothing more than to put his hand through a wall. Your presence is a bright spot in the office, even when the rain clouds hang heavy around his head. 

Javier seeks you out on those bad days. It isn’t intentional - usually, at least. He’ll tell Murphy he needs to go for a walk before he starts throwing things and will find himself at your desk with you looking up at him with those big, soft eyes and asking if you can help at all. If only he had the words to tell you that your presence was helpful in and of itself. 

Eventually Murphy gets onto him about it, tells him to just ask you out already because he’s tired of the longing. So Javi bucks up and makes his way to your desk with a surprising amount of nerves in his stomach. Fuck, how long had it been since he asked someone on an actual date and not just out to drinks as a prelude to fucking?

The sight of Agent Buchanan perched slightly on the edge of your desk gives him pause. The man is obviously laying on the charm and Javi is about to turn on his heel when he notices how uncomfortable you look. Javi’s eyes narrow because seriously? This dude is gonna fuck with the one literal ray of sunshine in the office? Buchanan leans forward and places his hand on your thigh and that’s when Javier is marching forward to break his spine in fucking half…

Before he can even get to you, you slip your fingers under his and give him that soft, sweet smile… and Buchanan’s middle finger is shoved back at a vicious angle. Over his pained sounds, Javier can hear the anger in your voice. “I said no thank you, asshole.”

Holy fuck. If Javier was interested before, he’s downright obsessed now. 

And as always, the honorable mention of Javier’s innocence kink. 

Ezra: 

At first Ezra thinks it's some sort of bluff, the charming and easygoing nature you portrayed. When you came across him in the Green wounded and in dire need of a new filter and probably a meal or two, you just… helped him. His very own partner left him for dead, and here you were, offering him a lifeline without expecting anything in return.

Yeah, no. That’s not something that happens, especially not in the Green.

He isn’t afraid to call you on it, either. This man is straight and to the point in every aspect of his life, might as well do the same in his death instead of getting jerked around. But you just… grinned, all conspiratorial, and whispered, “I’m actually just using you for good karma. This is a selfish act, don’t worry.” 

Huh.

It takes Ezra a moment to be assured that you aren’t playing some kind of long con as you nurse him back to health. You still clean his wounds and force him to take medication to help his lungs recover from the toxic air with confidence and ease despite his untrusting looks. Once he gets over his fears, there’s no getting rid of him. Ezra likes you. He likes the sweetness, the gentle touches. That’s why he offers you his partnership and beams when you accept.

Besides simply liking you, your kindness is a rarity that sparks a deep need in Ezra to keep you safe, protected. The idea of you harvesting on your own with no one to watch your back makes him feel sick to his stomach.

It’s the third day he’s out harvesting with you that he realizes you absolutely do not need his protection. You hear the duo approaching before Ezra does and immediately shove him into the raised, gnarled roots behind a tree - and the shot that would’ve caught him in the chest flies harmlessly past. Before Ezra can tell you to stay put and let him handle it, you’re scrambling out from behind the tree and he can hear the sound of your thrower discharging and a body crumpling to the ground. 

Ezra shoots out to help but you’re trying to wrestle the other man to the ground and Kevva damnit, he can’t get a clear shot with all that writhing about. Just as he goes to jump into the mix, whatever hold you have on the man straightens his arm out behind his back in a harsh, unforgiving line. The man’s thrower slips from his incapacitated hand and the sight of you snatching up midair and firing it right through his helmet has to be the most erotic thing Ezra has ever seen.

You can expect this man to wax poetic about the twofold of your personality for hours. Goes on and on about how he loves seeing the different ways you light up: in passion, in pleasure, in anger. It’s downright titillating. 

Marcus Pike:

Working with you gives leaves Marcus in the perfect position to see both sides. You’re so compassionate with the victims as you guide them through the legal processes but you also look ridiculously hot with a gun in your hand. Or while you pull on your bulletproof vest. Or when you’re strapping a holster to your thigh.

What can he say, Marcus can’t get enough of you either way. 

He loves when you give him that grateful smile when he brings you a coffee. The shoulder rubs you give him when he’s been sitting at his desk for too long leave him hazy with a mix of love and pleasure. The way you open your arms up for him to crawl into bed, still half asleep but still wanting him against you… it was pure heaven. 

Marcus also loves the hard edge in your voice when you’re interrogating a suspect. He loves the fire in your eyes when he wraps a hand around your throat and growls out exactly what he’s going to do to you, that bratty energy radiating off you and filling him with the need to break you down until he gets to see the pretty, begging glimmer of his sweet little thing again. 

Max Phillips:

Max is the kind of man who loves having a pretty, wide eyed thing beneath him, watching their face morph into that surprised pleasure. That’s exactly what he’s gonna get from you, too. He just knows it.

You’re the kind of person everyone loves working with, always offering a smile and kind words throughout the day. You work so hard and so diligently, that work ethic is something that leaves you offering your assistance when you’ve finished up before closing time. Max thrives on those moments where you peek into his office and ask if there’s anything he needs - maybe a coffee or some help with some paperwork. 

One day he decides, fuck it. Throws caution to the wind because hey, this is Max fucking Phillips we’re talking about here. So he waves you in when you pop by, lets you sit in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk, and whispers “You can help by bending that pretty little ass over my desk.”, his hands braced on either armrest. 

The last thing Max expects is a harsh smack across his face. He stumbles back, eyes wide as you stand and glare at him. “Go fuck yourself, Phillips.” 

Okay, yeah. He deserved that. The great thing about him, though? Max also loves the chase. And what could be better than slowly but surely convincing you that the best thing for you is letting him rail you into oblivion? 

Pero Tovar:

Before he sees that fierce side of you, Pero keeps his distance. He’s a sellsword for god’s sake, he feels he has no business around such softness. He’ll hurt you, he’s sure of it. But that doesn’t stop him from looking. Pero often sees you in the market and every time, you take his breath away. You could usually be found aiding an elder in gathering their shopping into their carts or kneeling down to speak with the local children running amok.

As a man who spent his life surrounded by battle and hardship, it was a nice change.

It wasn’t long until he caught your eye, and Pero floundered. He didn’t know what to do with that first small gesture - he just stared at you when you offered him a small bundle of cheeses and meat to aid him on his two month long journey he was about to set off on. Of course he later cursed himself for the stunned silence he offered in response to your well wishes and the small wave you gave before you left him standing like a fool next to his horse. 

Pero would thank you properly when he returned, that was the resolve he came to while away. You deserved to hear the words at the very least. He takes a moment to clean up before he sets out to find you, not wanting you to see him covered in grime, and as always, he spots you within moments of entering the village. Except something is… off. Your face through the shop window lacks it’s usual brightness, your eyebrows pinched together, something akin to fear replacing the brightness your eyes usually held. That’s when Pero realizes there’s a man holding a dagger to the shopkeeper and demanding the man's coin. 

By the time Pero has his own dagger in hand and shoves through the door, the man is already crumpling to the ground from the harsh kick you landed at the back of his knee. Pero watches in  awe as you take advantage of his confusion to snatch the blade from his hand and point it at him with your foot pressed firm to his back. 

Despite just how amazing you look like that, Pero takes over quickly, wanting you out of harm’s way immediately. The assailant is taken care of after a small struggle and when you rush towards him to make sure he isn’t hurt, a fire lights in his belly. As you fret over him, your soft hands searching for any harm to his scarred, calloused skin, Pero knows. He’s found his person, he can feel it in his gut, deep in his bones. 

#din djarin x reader #din djarin headcanons #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales headcanons #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike headcanons #ezra prospect x reader #ezra x reader #ezra prospect headcanons #ezra headcanons #javier peña x reader #javier pena headcanons #max phillips x reader #max phillips headcanon #pero tovar x reader #pero tovar headcanons #the great wall #the mandalorian #triple frontier #prospect #narcos #bloodsucking bastards

[aomine-ryo]

Ah the requests are open! I'd like to request Aomine, Kise and Kagami reactions if their gf shouted 'i hate you' during an angsty argument. Of course she didn't mean but was very hurt. Thank you in advance and thank you for provoding KnB content 💙

Ah yes i love some good angst 😌 I hope you enjoy xx

Scenario: Kise, Aomine and Kagami’s reactions to their s/o shouting “I hate you” during an argument

Kise

Jealousy was an ugly emotion and you knew that. You generally never got that jealous with Kise though. Especially considering that he was constantly surrounded by other models and fangirls, you were surprisingly very chill with him. I mean, you couldn’t blame him, it came with the job. Plus you knew that you could trust him so it didn’t bother you as much as one would expect.

Recently though, Kise had been rather busy and he wasn’t able to spend as much time with you as he’d like. While that sucked in itself, he’d always be around other girls when you did have the time to spend with him, like during recess and after school when you walked together. And they were so obviously flirting with him, but he didn’t seem to have a clue.

You didn’t want to bring up though because you didn’t want to come off as a controlling person that restricted him from talking to others. So you ignored it for a while.

However, the amount of time he’d spend with you slowly lessened and lessened and eventually, on a particularly bad day, you finally snapped. You were meant to be walking home with him after school, so you waited for him at your usual spot by the school gates. But after a good ten minutes, he didn’t show up. Confused and slightly annoyed, you went back into the school in search of your boyfriend. While it didn’t take long to find him in the school courtyard, you began to wish that you didn’t because it just fuelled your already bad mood with rage.

He was just standing there with three other girls, laughing along with them as if he didn’t have somewhere else to be. You don’t get mad often- especially not in public- but your emotions had been building up for weeks and you were in an awful mood. Before you knew it, you were storming over to Kise.

“Y/N-cchi! I was just about to come meet you. Let me introduce—“

“Are you kidding me? Kise, I’ve been waiting for you for the past ten minutes and you were just chatting here?” you scolded, your volume causing all four of them to be taken aback. You shot the girls a glare, resulting in them excusing themselves to leave you two alone.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t notice the time go by,” he replied softly, hurt by the fact that you called him ‘Kise’ rather than your usual ‘babe’ or ‘Ryouta’.

“You’re the one who’s always too busy to spend time with me and now you’re here losing track of time with girls you barely even know!”

“They were just being friendly, what would people think of me if I just brushed them off?” he said defensively.

“Kise, they were far from just friendly. They were so obviously flirting with you. One of them had her hands all over you and you just fucking let her!” you yelled, becoming completely unhinged at this point.

“Y/N-cchi, you’re being ridiculous. Just forget about it. Come on, let’s just walk home, cool?” He said with a sigh, which only made you angrier.

“I’m not being ridiculous,” you said firmly, tears of frustration welling up in your eyes.

“Well, what do you want me to say?” He snapped, finally losing his cool too. “That I’m sorry my life doesn’t revolve around you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant! Don’t try to turn this around on me,” you replied, letting the tears roll down your cheeks.

“That’s what it sounds like to me,” he shouted. You felt a pang in your heart at the way he raised his voice at you and you felt yourself finally get thrown off the edge.

“I can’t believe you right now! I hate you!”

Kise’s expression immediately fell at the sound of those words. It quickly made him realise the absurdity of what he was saying.

At that point, you were so frustrated that you decided to just walk away, wiping the tears with the back of your hand. It took a few moments but Kise’s footsteps soon followed you. “Y/N-cchi wait! I’m sorry!” He said, hastily grabbing your arm to stop you. It took him a second to realise that tears had begun to blur his own vision. “Please don’t hate me,” he said softly.

You paused for a moment, feeling bad that you had made him cry too. “I don’t hate you,” you muttered, hearing the word come out of his mouth made you realise how harsh it sounded. “I wouldn’t be this mad if I hated you.”

“I won’t talk to them anymore. And I promise I’ll make more time for you. Why don’t we go grab a coffee or something together?” Kise suggested, interlacing his fingers with yours while the other hand reached up to wipe the tears off your cheeks.

“That sounds nice,” You sniffled with a smile, your anger and hurt finally subsiding. “I’m sorry for yelling at you like that. I was just scared that you’d think they were better than me.”

Kise pressed his lips against yours with nothing but care and tenderness, almost as if to reassure you that he was all yours without having to say a word. But just in case you didn’t understand, he smiled at you once his lips parted from yours, “You’re the only one I want. That won’t ever change- I promise.”

Aomine

As much as you loved Aomine, dating him came with a lot of work which could easily exhaust you if you didn’t have the patience that you do. He was dreamy, sweet and truly a piece of art in general, however he was also extremely lazy when it came to a lot of things. Homework, projects and reminding him of various commitments he had was amongst the various responsibilities you had taken on when you started dating him. For the most part, you didn’t care too much because you often managed to convince him to do it himself in the end, but there were times where he genuinely ticked you off.

One day in particular, you were rather exhausted after a long day at school and you were hanging out at Aomine’s house like you usually would. As he flipped through his gravure magazine next to you, you laid down on his bed, scrolling through your phone as a way to unwind. His phone began to ring, disrupting the peaceful silence that filled the room and he quickly picked it up. “Yo, what’s up?” he answered. “Oh shit that was today? I forgot... Fuck it. I’ll join some other time... Bye.”

Aomine put his phone down with an annoyed groan, making you curious as to what that conversation was about. “What’s wrong? Who was that?” you inquired, still scrolling absentmindedly.

“It was Kise. I was supposed to go play with him and the others today. Didn’t I tell you to remind me about it?”

“Oh right, you did. I’m sorry, it slipped my mind,” you replied.

Aomine clicked his tongue in annoyance, “Dammit, I wanted to play,” he whined.

You weren’t sure why— perhaps it was the tiredness— but you felt as though that comment was accusatory towards you and it sparked this feeling of anger within you. “Then maybe you should’ve remembered yourself,” you retorted, sarcasm oozing from your tone.

“Well if I could do that, I wouldn’t have asked you to remind me, would I?” Aomine replied, perfectly matching your tone, which made your blood boil.

“Why is that my responsibility? I’m constantly busting my ass trying to do shit for you. I’m your s/o, not your personal assistant, Daiki,” you snapped, your voice suddenly getting louder.

Whilst Aomine knew that you were right, his stubborn mind didn’t want to admit it. “If you had a problem with it, you could’ve just said so instead of making me miss out on my plans,” he said harshly.

“Oh so it’s my fault that you don’t have the mental capacity to remember things that go on in your own damn life?” you questioned sarcastically.

“Yes!” Aomine yelled back almost instantly without thinking.

You sat up and scoffed. “You’re despicable, Aomine. Go fucking play then. I’ll leave!”

“No, it’s too late now. I’ve missed it thanks to you,” he muttered, picking up his magazine again.

You narrowed your eyes at him in frustration as you angrily gathered your things. “I’m leaving. You’re the absolute worst. I hate you!” you shouted, clenching your jaw to stop yourself from crying.

Aomine froze upon hearing those words come out of your mouth. “You what?” he said softly, even though he heard you clear as day. He just couldn’t believe that you had actually said it.

“Nothing,” you mumbled, knowing you shouldn’t have said something so harsh when you didn’t even remotely mean it.

“You hate me?” he repeated, wondering whether his pride was really worth having you say words like that.

“I didn’t mean it. But you’re being ridiculous,” you said, still standing your ground.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, standing up and approaching you. “I’m being such a dick. I’ll sort my shit out- I swear. Just don’t say those words to me, please,” he said, holding your face in his palms and desperately looking into your eyes, unable to fathom how much those words stung. He didn’t even want to imagine a scenario in which you’d hated him because it would absolutely wreck him.

Looking into those pained blue eyes, you couldn’t help but melt as your frustration resided. “I won’t say it again. I’m sorry,” you whispered assuringly.

Aomine placed a kiss on your forehead and pulled you into a hug. “I love you, Y/N,” he mumbled.

“I love you too, Daiki.”

Kagami

Kagami loved basketball. That was a given. You adored how passionate he was towards it and you it made you happy seeing how much he enjoyed the sport. However, sometimes you’d wonder if that was truly all he cared about. He’d spend almost all his time either at practice or playing around with his friends and he barely left any time for you anymore.

It had been a while since you’ve been able to spend time with Kagami and you had finally been able to get away with planning an afternoon with him after school at your place. You planned to cuddle up together with some snacks and watch a movie— it was going to be perfect. That whole school day you were incredibly excited; you walked around with a hop in your step and a smile on your face.

Finally, the end of the school day had arrived and you headed to meet Kagami outside school, like you’d agreed to. When you got outside, you saw him chatting with Kuroko and Hyuga but he quickly excused himself when he saw you approaching him.

“Hey beautiful,” he smiled.

“Taiga! I’m so excited for today,” you grinned, greeting him with a hug.

“Uh, about that,” Kagami paused and pulled away to rub the back of his neck nervously. Hearing those words alone made your smile quickly change into a disappointed frown. “The Winter Cup is around the corner and the team is gonna do a bit of extra practice today at the gym. Can I get a rain check on this date?”

“Are you serious?” you muttered, exasperation in your voice.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I promise I’ll make some time for you later,” he said.

“You say that, but you never do. You play basketball every single minute you get. Can you really not spare even a single afternoon for me?” you questioned softly, feeling a strange mixture of anger and hurt.

“Y/N, you know how important basketball is to me,” he replied, trying to meet your eyes but they were fixated on the floor.

“I do, but honestly, it seems like it’s the only importance in your life.”

“Don’t be like that. You know that you’re important to me too,” Kagami frowned, reaching to put an arm on your shoulder, but your frustration caused you to shove it away almost immediately.

“Well, you certainly don’t act like it,” you snapped back. “But whatever, go play I guess,” you shrugged, spite in your tone as you began to walk away.

“Y/N, don’t be mad at me— it’s childish,” Kagami called out, making you stop in your tracks. It was like he was asking you to get mad at him.

“Childish?” you repeated. “Kagami it’s not a fucking relationship if you’re not going to spend any time with me! I’ve been nothing but patient towards you playing basketball thinking that at some point you’ll set some time aside for me, but turns out you couldn’t care less about that!”

“We can talk about this later,” Kagami sighed, realising that you were in public. “I’m going to play. I’ll text you okay?”

“Don’t even bother texting me— you’re fucking outrageous,” you chuckled, finding it absolutely unbelievable how thick he was. “I hate you!”

Kagami felt his heart sink as he watched you storm off. Suddenly basketball became the least of his concerns. He couldn’t just leave things like this. It would absolutely wreck him. Almost instantly, Kagami rushed after you. “Y/N! Please wait!” he called out, quickly reaching for your hand to get you to stop.

While you did stop, you immediately pulled your arm away from him in anger. “What? Shouldn’t you be going to play?” you snapped, tears streaming down your face.

“That doesn’t matter. Just please, don’t leave things like this; don’t hate me,” he pleaded, feeling himself getting teary eyed upon seeing you crying.

You paused for a moment, realising the weight of the words you spat out in the heat of the argument. “I didn’t mean that,” you said softly. “I just hate how I never get to see you anymore.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll just skip out on practice today,” Kagami said.

“You don’t have to do that. We can hang out some other time,” you sighed and sniffled, not wanting to guilt trip him into spending time with you.

“No, I want to spend time with you now. You’re right. I play basketball all the time anyways. I need to give you attention too,”he insisted, reaching for your hand again and giving it a tight squeeze.

“Alright,” you said, wiping the tears with the back your hand. “I’m sorry about saying that I hate you. That was stupid.”

To your surprise, Kagami pulled you into a tight hug, holding you as if he was going to lose you. “That scared me so much, Y/N,” he admitted, resting his chin on the top of your head. “I love you so much. I genuinely thought I’d lost you.”

“I love you so much too,” you said into his chest, hugging him back. “I guess I was scared I’d lose you to basketball or something.”

Kagami kissed the top of your head. “You won’t lose me, I promise.”

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #kuroko no basket x reader #aomine daiki #kise ryouta #kagami taiga #knb #kise ryota #generation of miracles

[ellewriteswrongs]

picking favorites (a @tsbandau drabble)

if y’all aren’t emotionally invested in @underdog-arts ‘s band au, idk what y’all are even doing /j

anyway, here’s a wholesome family drabble insp. by the band au and my (not-so) subtle obsession with remus and janus. also subbing to their patreon is the best $5 i’ve probably ever spent, no joke

“Honey, you can still pick up Ry, right?” Janus called down the hallway, carrying a basket of laundry on each hip before depositing them in the hallway to put away later. Remus was seated in their shared office catching up on emails as Janus began packing up leftover pasta into containers to take to their show scheduled that night. 

“I told you I got ‘em,” he agreed, banging the last clumps of his protein shake into his mouth with the heel of his hand. “I’m gonna’ jog to V’s and grab the van.”

Janus nodded to themself out of instinct before faltering, their brow furrowing. 

“Wait—Re, that’s like three miles,” they challenged, dumping the dirtied dishes into the sink. “Just take the fucking car.”

Remus’ snort laugh was audible from down the hallway. 

“They asked for the van!” Remus cackled. “And I, for one, do not disappoint. Apparently making my kid’s friends think they’re cool is worth a three-mile jog.”

Janus rolled their eyes, albeit fondly. This was, unfortunately, not news. 

Riley was having an…interesting phase. It wouldn’t be abnormal for kids their age if it weren’t for the fact that their parents were ridiculously competitive, and all of their parents’ friends were eager to get in on it. 

As soon as Remus attended career day in Riley’s first grade classroom, resulting in the entire class of six-year-olds marveling at the fact that their friend’s dad was a “rock star.”

Janus loved that conversation over dinner that night. 

They weren’t jealous. No, in fact, it was probably overdue for Riley to have a bit of a “Daddy’s kid” phase, considering how joined at the hip they were with Janus for multiple years now. But they wanted to win. 

Riley could make their own decisions about picking a favorite parent. As long as that decision was Janus. 

“You’ve gone so-oft,” they sing-songed, smirking as Remus appeared in the kitchen behind them, wrapping one hand around their hip and pressing a kiss to their temple. “Ry’s got you wrapped around their finger.”

Remus have a flash of his crooked grin. 

“Yeah, well…at least I know where they get that from.”

Janus rolled their eyes, trying to hide their reddening face. 

“Sap,” they grumbled fondly. “Hurry up and get on with your run before you’re late to pickup. And tell V I said hey.”

Remus gave an exasperated chuckle and affirmation, but pocketed his keys and wallet nonetheless. 

The jog to Virgil’s apartment wasn’t a particularly strenuous three miles, being downtown and all, and Remus was far from out of shape. Still, three miles was three miles—especially in the late afternoon sun. Needless to say, Virgil wasn’t thrilled to have a giant sweaty man on his doorstep, but he handed over the keys nonetheless. 

The van was old, still clinging to its axels from when Remus himself purchased it from an old neighbor and declared it the band’s “tour bus.” It was nice enough at the time, especially for the price he paid, but it certainly wasn’t still around for anything more than sentimental value. 

Mainly just Remus refusing to get rid of it. 

That, and the fact that, for whatever reason, Riley thought it was the coolest thing ever. 

The drive wasn’t long, only the sitting in traffic of other parents in minivans trying to get into the school parking lot. He…wasn’t a fan of that part of being a parent, that’s for sure. He could do without any other parents, thank you very much, but at least it was fun to see how obvious all of them were in their distaste of both him and Janus, compared to how much their kid absolutely adored them. 

A fact that was only proven when Remus eventually made it to the parking lot and exited his van, only to be met with ear-splitting squeal of “daddy!” and an armful of six-year-old. 

He can’t deny how, even after all these years, the title still makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like…he is a dad. That’s his kid! How fucking rad is that!

He happens to spot a few other parents, along with some of Riley’s friends that he recognizes, and he offers a quick wave with the hand that isn’t mussing up his kid’s hair. 

“You brought the van,” Riley points out with a toothy grin that Remus can’t help mirroring. He can’t help the knot in his throat when he spots the gap in their teeth from their first ever lost tooth—which only meant they were getting much too old and Remus would really appreciate it if they would slow the fuck down.

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” Riley nods, bouncing on Remus’ hip just a bit out of excitement. “I gotta’ warn you though, JJ’s getting pretty jealous.”

Riley laughs before sticking out their tongue and making a fart noise in Remus’s face. 

Remus is, for the thousandth time, bewildered at how Riley couldn’t possibly be more like Janus if they tried. And mostly smitten. He has the coolest kid on Earth, after all. 

“They can suck my butt!” Riley squeals and Jesus Christ, Remus is going to have a heart attack right there in the parking lot. He’s gonna’ have to grill Jan again to make sure those two aren’t secretly biologically related. 

“Hey, your words not mine, squirt,” he smirks, opening the van door and strapping them into the car seat. “And your early bedtime if you let JJ hear any of that.”

He finishes with a pinch on their nose before closing the van door and getting back in the driver’s seat. 

Riley, as soon as the radio turn on, starts protesting very aggressively to listen to “your songs, daddy! Play your songs!” 

Thankfully, he has a CD burned with some of their…cleaner songs for that exact purpose. 

Riley, for lack of a better word, was ‘singing’ along at a volume that Remus would’ve otherwise found hilarious and impressive if it wasn’t right in his ear. Still, there was a certain fondness that came with watching his kid’s excitement over his work—something that, as usual, was paired with thrashing within the confines of a car seat and headbanging their little heart out. 

Along the drive Remus made every attempt to stop the barrage of the screamo singer in the making, but all were ultimately unsuccessful. At least…until he pointed out one particular building out of a strip mall assortment. 

“Hey, you see that store right there? The one with the red sign?” He spoke up, catching Riley’s eager attention in an instant. They placed both hands on the van window to look out. 

“What is it?” They asked, squinting to try and read what was on the sign. 

“You know the snake on my leg?” Riley nodded, quieting down. “That’s where JJ took me to get it.”

They paused, seemingly putting some pieces together in their head.

“How come you only have one?” They asked, still kicking their legs against their seat. “JJ has lots, how come you don’t have lots too?”

Remus chuckled, continuing along the road as the light turned green. 

“‘Cause I don’t need another one. They’re very expensive, you know.”

“Is it ‘cause you’re a wimp?” 

Remus choked on his own spit. 

“N-no,” he choked out, laughing. “No I’m not, I just think it looks better this way.”

He didn’t bother looking into the backseat to see what Riley thought of that answer, but if the return to karaoke that followed was any indication, they were not impressed. Still, he’d probably take the teasing over the screaming, but kids are kids. 

Even as they pulled into their driveway, Remus had to strategically dodge Riley’s flailing limbs in order to un-fasten the seatbelts on their car seat and actually get them in the house. Apparently the music was not as vital to the ‘sing-along’ as he’d hoped it was when he turned the car off. 

“Alright, alright, calm those legs down before you knock my teeth out, will ya’?” Remus teased, placing Riley on his shoulders where they instantly took fistfuls of his hair to hold on. Riley toned down the velocity, but otherwise did not stop. “Careful, squirt, if you wanna’ kick so bad, I’m signing you up to play soccer.”

Riley stopped almost instantaneously, gripping Remus’ hair even tighter as they headed back inside the house, Riley’s tiny backpack slung around Remus’ forearm. 

“Nooo,” they wailed, half punctuated by laughter that echoed through the house. 

“What are we complaining about?” Janus spoke, leaning against the doorway across the room with a fond smile. 

“He said if I kick him in the teeth I have to play soccer,” Riley whined, attempting to climb down from Remus’ shoulders on their own. Janus snorted a laugh before swiftly crossing the room to collect their child and place them on their hip. 

“Wow, your daddy’s so mean,” Janus agreed, raising a challenging eyebrow as they stood in front of their husband. Remus pouted before bending down to steal a kiss.

“Gross,” Riley giggled, pressing a hand on each of their parents’ faces to separate them. 

“Gross?” Janus smirked. “Well in that case, maybe your dad was being a bit unfair.”

Riley turned to Remus to stick out their tongue at him. 

“I mean, soccer? That’s just ridiculous,” Janus continued, a mischievous glint in their eyes. “We’ll obviously have to sign you up for football instead. A punt like that has got to be put to good use.”

Riley immediately went back to their dramatized complaining, this time reaching desperately for Remus to get him to take them back from Janus—to which Remus just held up his hands in mock innocence.

“No can do, kid,” he smirked. “The punishment has to fit the crime, after all.”

Riley continued their attempts to wiggle out of Janus’ unyielding grip.

“Never!” They declared, trying a different approach of reaching over Janus’ shoulder to escape from behind. “I won’t! I won’t do it, I promise!”

Remus and Janus both knew they wouldn’t actively try to hurt either of them, but sometimes it was just more fun to assert rules when it came with shrieking laughter and climbing their parents like a jungle gym.

“Well, now you know where we stand,” Remus spoke in false authority, reaching for one of Riley’s tiny shoes and holding it up to address it as if it were in control of their legs. “I better not see you around these parts again, ya’ hear?” He added in an over-the-top western accent, gesturing to his face. 

Riley squealed with laughter as he held out his hand for a handshake and they shook it with their accused foot. 

“Alright, alright, you two,” Janus intervened with fond exasperation. “Snacks are on the counter, take it or leave it.”

Riley whipped their head around to peer into the kitchen, cheering when they spotted two plates on the kitchen counter, each with a toaster waffle piled high with blueberries. 

“Second…breakfast!” They cheered, drumroll-ing on their leg before whooping and slinking out of Janus’ grip and climbing up onto the kitchen barstools. Remus, giving a fond eye-roll at the enthusiasm, turned to drape his arms over Janus’ shoulders from behind, perching his chin on top of their head. 

“They get it from you, you know,” he mumbled, smirking at the scoff it earned him. 

“Shut up,” Janus grumbled, the smile evident in their voice. “That is all you.”

“Babe, sports are a threat in this house,” he teased. “You’re telling me that came from me?”

“Yeah, I’ll take that one,” they chided, turning around to face their husband. “As long as you’re aware that the energy, the volume—honey, that’s all you.”

Remus quirked his brow with a proud smirk. 

“Or maybe it’s the fact that they sleep for fourteen hours and we haven’t even had eight in the last six years,” he challenged knowingly. “You know, I happen to remember that back in the day…that bed was hardly even for sleeping.”

Janus snorted, their face reddening slightly.

“Is it bad to think of those as the ‘good old days’ already?”

Remus swept a piece of their hair out of their face. 

“Hell no, dude. We lived like kings back then,” he chuckled. “How ‘bout this—I’ll get Ro to take ‘em to the park or something this weekend and I’ll dick you down just like old times, ‘kay?”

Janus sputtered out a cackle, smacking Remus on the chest before covering his mouth with their hand.

“Fucking christ, they’re like two yards away,” they hissed, still laughing. “I am not going to be the one fielding questions about what getting dicked down means, oh my god.”

“You say that like they listen to anything when there’s food in front of them,” Remus countered, nodding in the direction of their kid as Janus rolled their eyes with a chuckle. 

“Now that, is from you,” they grinned, jabbing him in the side with their elbow. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re serving up delicacies like toaster waffles,” Remus said, raising his hands in mock defense. 

Janus gave him a look before crossing their arms. 

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky I know you can’t go two hours without food. Go on, there’s one for you, even if it’s probably cold by now,” they teased as Remus excitedly kissed their forehead before practically running to the kitchen. He hopped up to sit on the counter, folding each toaster waffle like a blueberry-filled taco before funneling them into his mouth. 

Janus followed close behind—at a normal pace, thank you very much—and took the actual seat next to their kid, sipping at the cup of tea they had left on the counter before the two had returned home as they listened to Riley regaling their day at school.

———

Realistically, Remus probably should’ve seen it coming. He was a couple days past his previous record of days as Riley’s “favorite” and he knew he likely didn’t have much longer before Janus dethroned him again, but he certainly hadn’t expected the scene he walked in on that night. 

He had heard hushed laughter coming from one of their house’s bathrooms that evening, assuming at first that Janus was just handling Riley’s bath or something like that, but as he cleaned up the mess from their dinner and finished washing the rest of their dishes, he was surprised to find they were still in there. So obviously he had to investigate. 

He knocked on the door, rolling his eyes fondly as shushing and giggles came from within. 

“Everything good in there?” He teased, leaning against the door. “I gotta’ say, I’m a little hurt I didn’t get invited to whatever club this is that hangs out in the bathroom.”

More giggles followed by the oh-so familiar sound of Janus’ shushing. 

“I guess I’ll just have to find out for myself what all the fuss is about,” he sing-songed, slowly creaking open the door before letting out a snort laugh at the scene before him. 

Janus was seated on the edge of the bathtub, wash cloth in hand, as Riley sat on the sink counter, covered on all limbs with temporary tattoos. At least the pieces of tape that Janus had cut into circles and colored black to look like ear gauges were admittedly cute. 

“Oh, I see how it is,” he smirked from against the doorframe. 

“JJ said you’re a wimp,” Riley proudly announced. “I was right.”

Janus stuck their tongue out and made a spitting noise and…yeah, that was their kid alright. Not that Remus would have it any other way. 

#anyway.......i would die for them #my writing #tsbandau #sanders sides #ts remus #ts janus

[dcforts]

[day 13: poinsettia]

It started as soon as Cas joined them at the diner and slipped into the booth next to Dean liked he usually did.

“Thanks for coming, Cas. We really need your help with this one,” Sam said.

“I’m here. Tell me everything.”

Sam was shuffling through his papers, about to bring him up to speed on the case, when he heard Dean snap, “Can’t you sit on the other side?”, with such vitriol that Sam looked up at him, shocked. His brother’s face was twisted with hostility, “It’s a little tight in here.”

Cas rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner but got up anyway to move next to Sam.

“So,” Sam started, frowning at his brother, back to sipping his coffee like nothing happened. He turned his focus on Cas, “just in this past week, twelve couples from this town filed for divorce.”

Dean scoffed, “Yeah, I’m still not sure this is a case. It’s Christmas, everyone fights during the holidays.”

“Yeah, but the point is – once they started, they simply couldn’t stop. The neighbours say -”

“So we’re playing marriage counselors now, what a way to hit the botto-“

“Could you be quiet?” interrupted Cas sharp, throwing Dean a glare. “I’m trying to listen to Sam.”

“What’s there to listen? I told you, there’s nothing for us here.”

“How can you be so sure -”

They were raising their voices and people from nearby tables started to crane their neck towards them.

“Guys,” Sam hissed, “I don’t know what’s happening here but can we -,” he tried to say, but it was like he wasn’t there anymore. Dean and Cas were throwing daggers at each other and as Sam’s gaze moved between the two of them, he started to suspect that something not normal was going on there. So maybe the marriage requirement for the curse wasn’t as literal as they thought.

He started sweating, “Uh, can we go back to the case now?”

“I don’t know,” said Cas, his voice dripping sarcasm, “maybe Dean has something more interesting to do.”

“Look, you’ve been here five minutes and-”

Sam sighed heavily. “Alright. Guys- guys, w-why don’t you take this outside? I’ll pay the check and be right out.”

Scoffing and grumbling, then slipped out of their seats and stormed out of the diner.

Sam sighed and raked his hands through his hair.

He tried to tell himself that it could be a coincidence, but his confidence whitered considerably as he watched through the windows his brother stomping through the parking lot and Cas following him with his arms crossed on his chest.

He took out his phone and called Rowena.

“What is it now, Samuel?” she answered.

“Hey Rowena. I- I need your help.”

*

Not even halfway through the story she interrupted him with a chuckle, “Oh, don’t worry Samuel. I know exactly what you’re dealing with.”

“You do?”

“But of course. And I know who’s doing it. It’s a witch, goes by the name of Emlen. They like to cause mayhem during the holiday season. Harmless curses, wear off right after Christmas. It happens every few years.”

“How are they doing this?”

She thinks about it for a moment, “At the victims’ houses. Did you happen to notice a poinsettia?”

“Th-the plant?”

“Yes, a poinsettia Sam, the Star of Bethlehem, the Fire Flowers of the Holy Night.”

“Yeah, got it. I don’t think so, I mean, everyone’s got one these days. So, maybe?”

“Well, the last time that’s what was setting off the curse. It’s very clever actually,” she went on, “They have them delivered to their door, and the plants let out these fumes -”

As she talked, and the wheels turned furiously in Sam’s head, his eyes fell on the centerpiece in the middle of the table. In a little jar, among glitter red berries and snow covered pine-cones, set a fresh plant with red and green leaves.

Sam shook his head, defeated. There was no doubt now.

Dean and Cas were in trouble.

He sighed, and snatched the plant to stuff it in his bag. He threw a couple of bills on the table and hurried to the exit still with his phone attached to his ear.

“So I need to look for a florist?”

Rowena sighed, exasperated. “No, Samuel. They are way smarter than that. I bet they enchanted a florist to do the work for them. You’ll need to go and gather all the plants and in the meantime – I imagine I could prepare an antidote of sorts to stop the effects right away. You’ll have to give it to the victims.”

“What about the witch?” he asked as he pushed open the glass doors and stepped out in the cold parking lot.

“I’ll take care of Em. We’re old friends, I’m sure they’ll be reasonable if I asked it as a favor.”

Sam let out a sigh of relief but his worry spiked again as the Impala came into his view. Even from there he could see Dean and Cas talking fast at the same time, clearly arguing.

Rowena said, “Did you say twelve couples, right? It’s twenty four vials.”

“Uh – actually. Can we make it twenty six?”

“Sure, Sam,” she said, sarcastic, “and I bet you want the express shipping as well? You know I only have two hands and can’t possibly…”

“Just – Please,” cut her off Sam, trying to express the frustration he was feeling. And he was feeling a lot of frustration as he was approaching the car and could hear indistinct shouting from the inside, “I’ve got a bit of a situation here. Um, Dean and Cas are kind of at each other’s throat.”

Rowena chuckled, but didn’t sound surprised at all as she said, “Of course they are. Fit the profile, don’t they? Alright Samuel, I’ll be there soon. Just try and hold tight, my poor boy.”

“Yeah, thanks Rowena.”

*

The ride to the motel was frosty at best. Sam stayed absolutely still in the backseat and did not comment on the Dean’s jerky driving or the fact that Cas stared grumply out of the window the whole time.

He had tried a weak, “Are you guys still fighting?” when he’d slipped in and they both had given him a stern “No,” that obviously meant the opposite.

Back at the motel the situation did nothing but worsen. They sat on opposite sides of the room and resolutely did not look at each other.

Well, at least until Sam broke the silence to say, “Rowena is on her way. This will be over in no time,” and his brother commented under his breath, “Yeah, Rowena is always there when you need her. Must be nice.”

And Cas whipped his head around, “If you’re referring to me, I’ll have you know that I came as soon as you called.”

Dean snorted, “You mean, as soon as you decided to pick up your phone.”

Sam let out a whimper.

“As I already told you -” thundered Cas but Dean cut him off, raising his voice, “I don’t wanna hear it, Cas. You say the same thing everytime and they you disappear again for two weeks!”

“Uh, guys? Why don’t we -” Sam tried to interrupt them by blocking their view of each other but they just stood up and walked around him.

“You know what’s funny?” Cas went on, sarcastic, talking over him, “That you’re always saying that I should be around more, but when I am around, you sure go out of your way to make me feel unwelcome.”

“Fine!” exploded Dean, “If that’s how you feel than I’ll just stop asking you…”

“… as if you ever asked. You just assume…”

“… then I won’t have to…”

Sam resisted the urge to press a pillow on his face and just closed himself in the bathroom.

*

When he finally heard knocking, Sam ran to the door and pulled Rowena in uncerimoniously.

“Oof, Sam, this is no way to greet a lady,” she complained but then her attention was caught by Dean and Cas behind his back, shouting in the middle of the room a few feet from each other. Her jaw dropped.

“... wish you’d just stop covering your feeling with humor...” Cas was saying.

“... well, I wish you’d stop snooping in my head every chance you get...”

“... If you think one needs to have celestial powers to see what’s clearly on your face Dean Winchester...”

Rowena met Sam’s desperate gaze and winced.

She patted his arm, reassuring, “I��m here now.”

*

“I’m not drinking that.”

“This is ridiculous. Dean and I are not married.”

“I know – just – please. You’re driving me nuts,” said Sam, pratically shoving the vials in their faces. Rowena had proposed to magically bind them and Sam was starting to consider it.

Thankfully - without even stopping glaring at each other - they took them from his hands and downed them in one go.

There was a moment of stillness and then Sam saw them sprinting towards one another. He gasped and tried to step in, thinking that they were about to throw punches but instead they ended up – smashing their mouths together.

Which was definitely more jarring for Sam. He stood frozen in shock and then made his way to Rowena, who was calmly putting on her coat, her back to the scene.

“Er, Rowena?” he called, alarmed. “Uh, they’re – is this normal?”

She threw a look over her shoulder at Cas wrapping Dean in his arms and Dean yanking Cas’ hair.

“Oh, it’s just a little after effect,” she said lightly. She met Sam’s worried eyes and explained, “The antitode has some ingredients in common with love potions. A little nudge, just enough to reverse hostility. It brings out desire. It’s nothing, Sam,” she shrugged, “and it’ll wear off in a couple of minutes, so I say we get out of here now and go deal with Emlen and the other couples. You know,” she smirked, “in case they decide what’s good for them and decide to stay.” She shouldered her bag, “Chop chop now, Samuel,” she said cheerfully, shoving him slightly. “We got work to do.”

*

Two minutes later, Dean and Cas pulled away from each other in the empty motel room.

They looked wide eyed, their faces red, their lips swollen. Dean’s voice was on the verge of hysteria and disbelief when he said, "We kissed.”

He was still holding the lapels of Cas’ trenchcoat and Cas still had his arms tight around his waist.

Cas blinked at him, “Yes,” he said, “I think we were cursed.”

Dean nodded briefly and tried to think fast. “Sam must be working the case,”. He thought about calling him, making sure he was alright and didn’t need assistance but his eyes couldn’t stop flicking between Cas’ eyes and lips, “Seems like whatever he’s doing is working. Uh - Sorry about -”

“I’m sorry too,” Cas said, still a little out of breath, “Can we keep kissing now?”

Dean exhaled, “Yeah, good idea,” he said, throwing his arms around his neck.

joining @bend-me-shape-me in doing this!

#SPNAdventCalendar2020 #deancas #destiel #deancas ficlet #destiel fanfic #1.8k #rowena #this is very silly #they get cursed #case fic #old married couple #im still sorry sam #it's not me it's them #all my works should be tagged #season? what season? #i may take a break after this #my writing

[agathasangel]

written in the stars (wilhemina venable x fem!reader)

Warnings: None really? This is like a short lil fluff/soulmate/love at “first sight” kind of fic.

Summary: (This is kind of a post-time reset part 2 of “her favorite”?) Years ago, the apocalypse happened and you fell in love in an underground outpost, but the timeline reset so you remember nothing. Years later, you went to party because you were bored. And she only went because she needed to work on her personal life after quitting her job. But you were just so familiar to each other.

You were at the birthday party of a girl you went the college with, Mattie Venable. It was the year after you graduated, but even after a year you forgot how overwhelmed you got at large house parties like this. You looked for a quiet room to sit in and calm down, and there was one that was occupied by someone you could never have missed. A woman a bit older than you with flaming red hair dressed head-to-toe in lilac, with a cane in one hand and a glass of red wine in the other. She was absolutely stunning, and you could have sworn you had seen her before, but you couldn’t possibly put your finger on where.

“My sister is a little too old to be throwing this kind of a party for herself, don’t you think?” the woman asked you.

“You’re Mattie’s sister?”

“I am. Wilhemina Venable.”

You’ve never heard of a Wilhemina Venable. So why did that name sound so familiar?

“I’m (y/n).”

“Were you particularly close friends with Mathilda, (y/n)? Forgive me, but I swear I’ve heard of you before.”

“Mathilda?”

“That’s Mattie’s real name. Our parents liked the idea of giving us unusual old-fashioned names and then more “normal” nicknames. Mine is Mina. But were you close to her?”

“Not really.”

“That’s for the better. She is a drunken spoiled brat who only cares about herself.”

“Why are you here then?”

“I recently quit my job. I don’t have friends so I thought that coming here might be a good idea.”

“What was your job? Can I ask why you quit?”

“Have you heard of Kineros Robotics? I was the secretary there. But in reality, I ran the whole place. I did almost everything but building the robots. I don’t know what those two imbeciles are going to do without me if I’m honest, but I suppose it’s not my problem. I quit because I was not able to have a life outside of work. Which would have been fine if those two idiots had given me more agency, treated me with more respect.... I’m rambling, I apologize...”

“No, go on...”

“And I suppose that I wanted some kind of life outside of work. So here I am. But I can’t say I’ve liked any of the people my sister keeps around. Except you, (y/n). I can’t put my finger on why, but you seem... different. Tolerable, at the very least.”

“Thank you?”

“What are you doing here if you aren’t close with Mattie and obviously don’t like big crowds and hard alcohol?”

“I was just bored. I graduated last year with Mattie and I don’t really have anything to do or anyone to visit. And then she invited me to her party and I thought, hey, why not?”

“Do you have no friends?”

“I have a couple but they never seem to be available.”

“Boyfriend or, um, girlfriend?”

“No. I dated a girl for a while junior year though. But it didn’t work out.” you hoped the woman would pick up on the hint that not only were you into girls (if she was, you weren’t sure but you definitely got a vibe) but that you were available.

“What about you, Wilhemina Venable?”

“You may call me Mina. And no, I barely even have friends.”

“I’m your friend now, Mina. Unless of course you want me to be something else...”

“Maybe I do. Would you like to- how do I put this... get out of here?”

“I think I would.”

You left the party, and Mina drove you to a wine bar.

“This can be our first date,” she told you, “Although I swear I know you. You seem incredibly... familiar.”

“You do too. It’s almost as if in another life we had a whole relationship already.”

When you were sat down at the bar, she attempted to start another conversation with you.

“I’m not sure what I should ask you.”

“Anything!”

“Um...what do you do for work?”

“Well I work as a waitress now but I’m looking to get jobs as a writer or illustrator.”

“So you write? And draw?”

“I do. Can I draw you?”

“Yes, I would love that (y/n).”

She asked you to spend the night with her, and you agreed. You drew her in a fancy Victorian-style purple gown, still holding her cane, without her glasses and with her bright red hair pinned pack out of her beautiful face.

“(Y/n), I- I love it. It’s... exactly how I wish I saw myself.”

So you took the drawing out of your sketchbook and gave it to her to keep.

“I have such a clear vision in my head of you exactly like this. I don’t know why.”

“I see you in a similar purple gown and a corset. Almost like a memory. I actually... have several, maybe I have one that would fit.”

So you went into her closet, which had several lovely period-style dresses in all different shades of purple. She found a corset that she thought would fit you and the two of you played dress-up in her closet for a bit.

“I got into this type of fashion when I was quite young. My parents liked it, but what made me really interested was the fact that I had to wear a back brace that was very close to a real corset to improve my posture.”

“Why?”

“I- I have scoliosis, a very bad case. It’s the same reason I walk with a cane now. I would prefer not to let you see my back. For a while, at least.”

“That’s fine. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

When you found a dress that, according to Mina, suited you perfectly, she asked if she could take a photo of you. She darkened the room and lit candles, and then took several pictures.

“Lovely. You are so beautiful, (y/n). I’ve had this image in my head for a long time, of a girl who looks like you in a dress like that. Of kissing her in low candlelight. May I please kiss you, little one?”

“Please.” you said.

You were often quite tense and stiff in your kisses, but with Mina it was easy. She knew exactly how to kiss you. Take control, gently bite your lip, and softly cup your face before moving her hands down to your waist and then wrapping her arms around you.

You both changed into pajamas after that, both of you wearing nightgowns owned by Mina. 

“I’ve been racking my brain all night wondering how I know you, little one, but I know we’ve never met.”

“Me too.”

After months of dating, you and Mina came to the conclusion that you were in fact, soulmates.

“I know it seems ridiculous. I never even believed in love before all of this and now I’m here talking about “love at first sight” and “soulmates” and “destiny”.” said Mina

“You and I were meant to be, Mina. I love you.”

#wilhemina venable x reader #wilhemina venable #sarah paulson fics #sarah paulson imagine #sarah paulson x reader #ahs fanfiction #ahs apocalypse #ahs fic #ahs apocalypse fanfic #american horror story #ahs imagine #my fics