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positivlyfocused · 3 years

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Nature Shows Me Love When I Better My Happy

This morning probably was the best result I received so far from my Positively Focused practice. It’s an extraordinary result showing how Universe delights the one who finds alignment with their better, happy place.

I woke this morning feeling joy so deep, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I felt at one with All That Is, and that feeling left me in peace, wherein all was right with everything. And in that, I felt struck in All That Is’ beauty, grace and love.

But when someone experiences such deep and profound spiritual experiences, Universe inspires movement because such movement leads to more and better experiences. Experiences confirming that blessed universal connection.

That’s exactly what happened next.

Joy and fun to come

I got an impulse to go for a walk. The impulse came with a sense of urgency, like I mustn’t ignore it. So I got up, did my morning routine and headed out the door.

A few weeks ago I wrote about an amazing experience had in a nearby park. It involved seeing a raptor in the trees with feathers dancing through the air like snow fall. Then a guy walked by who amplified that wonderful experience with a story of his own.

The park where this happened was where my inspiration directed me this morning. As I walked I had no idea what lie ahead. I only knew how good I felt and how wonderful the day unfolded up to now, even though it was only 7:30 in the morning.

The park was mine. No one else walked the walking paths, played in the grassy expanses, walked among the roses, or sat in the pavilion. My favorite music played in my headphones while the sun shone from my right, its warmth heating the day.

Halfway through the park, despite my headphones, I heard a sound I hadn’t heard before. It was a kind of screech. Even though my headphones muffled it, the sound caught my attention. So much so I made a bee-line straight to where I thought it originated.

The compulsion to follow that sound was so strong, I felt kind of odd, like I wasn’t in charge of my movements. It drew me to a spot in the park I rarely frequent.

That’s when it happened

I heard the sound again, then looked into the trees while turning off my music. The draw of this impulse felt extreme as it pulled me right underneath a medium-sized tree. That impulse drew my vision to the lower-most branch, which swung very low from the tree’s trunk.

There, perched on the branch, was an accipiter known as a Goshawk. I didn’t know the word “accipiter” in that moment. Nor did I know the Bird of Prey as a Goshawk. I thought is was a Sharp-Shinned Hawk or perhaps a falcon. Either way, the sight stunned me.

Little did I know, this was just the beginning.

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^^My joyful adventure started with this sighting.

Accipiters are Birds of Prey specifically evolved for successful life in dense forests. These birds are slender with short, broad, rounded wings and a long tail which helps them maneuver in tight areas such as forests. They have long legs and long, sharp talons used to kill their prey, and a sharp, hooked bill used in feeding. They often ambush their prey, mainly small birds and mammals, capturing them after a short chase. They are commonly found in wooded or shrubby areas.

I’ve always adored Birds of Prey, specifically Red Tailed Hawks and Sparrowhawks. Since moving to Oregon, however, my love of raptors expanded. I also love seeing Bald Eagles and Osprey, which populate Oregon’s scenic waterways.

But I never expected to see such birds in Portland’s city parks. This was astounding!

Watching this bird on the branch, I felt awe. But what happened next left me in stunned.

It was good, but got better

While filming the video above, the hawk suddenly disappeared from view. I stopped shooting to find it, but saw it nowhere in trees around me. That’s when my instinct took over, turned my head left and downward.

The hawk landed on the ground just feet from my…feet! Here’s a video of me in rapturous joy as I caught the moment on video:

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^^It lands right at my feet! Listen to my joy!

This is incredible, I thought! Understanding how amazing this moment was requires understanding a little about Northwestern Goshawks.

Of the three U.S. and Canadian hawks known as accipiters, the Goshawk is by far the most impressive. As far as accipiters are concerned, they are the largest and most aggressive. Goshawks are favored for falconry the world over. According to state write-ups, Oregon offers limited permits for taking Goshawks for falconry purposes. I met someone with such a permit once. His specimen is exquisite even though I don’t think it’s a Goshawk. I mean, must look at this photo I took!

^^A bird of prey “taken” for falconry by a local falconer. I took this photo last summer at a local school. The owner used the playground as a training camp.

What impressed me most about Goshawks, and my seeing one specifically, is this: It is an uncommon to fairly common bird in Oregon. But they’re usually found in wilderness areas ranging between 1,900 – 6,100 foot elevations along the Cascade, Blue, and Klamath mountains. Even so, here I was face-to-face….or foot-to-foot with one in a city park!

It gets better still!

Just as the bird flew off, I heard another screech, the distinctive sound a Goshawk makes, that now sounds familiar to my ears. This one came from behind me. I turned around and saw anotherGoshawk, only this one fed on a bird it must have caught earlier this morning.

^^A Goshawk manages its kill in on a nearby branch. Astounding!

That’s two separate birds in the same area!

Then I heard yet another screech, again, behind me. When I turned around, I stood literally astounded. For there in front of me were four hawks. Three of them stood on the ground, the fourth on a brach above the others. What were they doing? Playing with sticks!

They threw sticks, tossed seed pods and even stepped on each other’s tails! Never had I seen such playfulness in Birds of Prey. I felt absolutely blessed seeing this display, again, in a city park.

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^^Watch as these Goshawks play. At the end, one even playfully steps on its companion’s tail! Hilarious!

It turned out I was amidst an entire family of hawks. They played and ate from the same kill. They even chased crow and squirrel in front of me. Two even played with each other on a nearby car rooftop.

Joyful nature communion

For the next two hours I watched as these hawks put themselves on display for me. Once, one hawk perched on a tree, looked at me. Then, with no notice, it flew straight at me, swooping over my head close enough for me to touch. I felt I had gone to hawk heaven!

After filming, I noticed bird and squirrel carcasses in this area, particularly under the tree where one of the hawks fed. Apparently, they had been here some time. But my Broader Perspective coordinated this moment, these two blissful hours, for me to commune with these natural, graceful predators.

^^Carcass from a previous meal.

I tell my clients all the time that when one develops a Positively Focused perspective such that they chronically live in a state of alignment to the beauty of life, nature becomes one’s deliberate partner. It reveals to the Positively Focused its “secrets”. Animals people rarely, if ever, see come out and play, putting themselves on display for one who takes time to tune themselves back to their natural knowing.

I’ve seen coyote families, with pups playing alongside city sloughs, minxes carrying their prey along bike paths, owls flying in broad daylight and at night, perched so close to me I could touch them if I wanted.

Forgotten desires fulfilled

I know when these experiences come, they come solely for my joyful consumption. They also validate my Positively Focused practice as well as indicate that I stand aligned, not only to nature, but to the unfolding, natural fulfillment of all my desires.

I also tell my clients about the nature of “desire” itself. I know many desires I have I don’t remember asking for. But my Broader Perspective remembers them all. When I tune to my Broader Perspective knowing, it begins leading me to all my desires. Not just ones I consciously want, but those I’ve forgotten.

That’s what makes living life so joyous when Positively Focused. I didn’t realize experiencing something like a family of uncommon Birds of Prey up close and personal was something I asked for. Yet here it was delivered in a way I could savor for two whole hours!

Imagine other desires I asked for, cued up by my Broader Perspective and ready when I am to experience. It truly is the Charmed Life I write about. The Charmed Life includes the fulfillment of ALL desires. Not just those a person knows they want, but ones they don’t remember asking for.

My experience today with these hawks filled me with such joy, I am working on a short film about the experience. It’s amazing I got so much video footage, enough for a film I can share. And in the sharing I’ll amplify my own joy, which also amplifies my connection to All That Is.

I write that I am amazed and I am. But I also know what happened is just what happens when I stand at the center of my happy place, where the Universe shows me how blessed I am. How blessed we all are.

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safetypinsymphony · 4 years

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“Is it a plot twist, or is it just lying?” and brief thoughts on the SPN road so far

To paraphrase an exchange from Bob's Burgers: Is it a plot twist, or is it just lying?

This seems to be an evolving theme of Supernatural's Season 15. I haven't been keeping up on my reviews here, dern it, but after some mild kerfuffles I've experienced between various fans (including myself), I'm re-inspired. Or perhaps incensed.

“Writers lie.”

When we first learned that God is a right asshole and as such, opened a rift in Hell before checking out to leave our intrepid heroes to deal with the undead invasion spilling forth—and then decided to check back in just to start fucking with the Winchesters again—I wasn't overly bothered, but nor was I particularly thrilled by the implications. I was begrudgingly interested to see what was evolving.

Well.

Kinda like watching a slo-mo train wreck, as it turns out. We're witnessing how this canon ret-conning is already starting to fray. How playing fast and loose with what the show has established as the rules of its universe is creating this “It was all just a dream” Dallas-esque meta embarrassment.

Seasons back, when the show first shattered the Fourth Wall by introducing the SPN books and conventions into its own mythos, that self-awareness was a really risky move. To this day, you either love it or hate it, but it managed to hold together because of the infrequency with which it was explored, and the skills of the writers at the time. (Even then, we got Season Seven, Time for a Wedding, arguably one of the more tasteless episodes of the whole series.)

As Dabb and company are choosing to further explore Chuck-as-God-and-puppetmaster, one of the show's important thematic cornerstones, that of the value of <i>freewill</i>, is taking a big hit. And the show knows it. They've had Dean come right out and air his disgruntlement with it several times already. So we get it, yeah, it's a thing. It's what Dabb is using to propel this last season (along with rampant fanservice and as many returning characters—dead or alive—that he can shoehorn into 43 minutes).

Now, I do loves me some fanservice on occasion, and there are certainly quite a few characters who died in rather inglorious ways and probably deserved better send-offs than they got, but I'm not sure 'hanging a flag on it' does enough to compensate for what this means in regards to the past 14 years of the show. In asserting that all of the past canon has been little more than Chuck's manipulations, it also means that the viewers' investment into the whole of the SPN universe has been hung on a lie within its own framework. “Ret-conning” doesn't even come close to describing this level of narrative dishonesty. (Wow, that sounded dramatic, but it's kind of true, you know?) By undermining the canon of the past 14 years, the current show creators have made Gamble, Carver and yes, even Kripke unwittingly complicit in this snake oil operation.

If SPN were just a movie, two hours designed from the jump to play out this way, I might think it was a little cheesy but oh well. I'm not that invested. (See 'Cabin in the Woods', which was a helluva fun neo-horror romp, in a similar vein.) But this is FOURTEEN YEARS we're talking here. That's a loooong time to be invested in a narrative, just to have the latest showrunner unseat all the canon that came before him. The only thing that matters one iota now? Season 15. It, apparently, is the only “true” canon. The only canon where “Chuck” is revealing his hand and operating with any in-world narrative legitimacy.

Thanks, I hate it.

I'm not going to pretend I like what Dabb is proposing. The segment of fandom hungry to bust Sam and Dean's so-called co-dependency is pretty stoked about it, naturally; they see classic SPN as toxic and unhealthy (and let's be real, in the way of a certain ship).

But here's the thing that gives me The Feels™, and it's not turning the Winchesters (or Cas, for that matter) into domesticated, well-adjusted Hallmark Channel leading men. (That's what, you know, The Hallmark Channel is for.) And it's sure as hell not invalidating the canon of the show I fell in love with.

It's urban legends, black humor, the endless highways and guttering neon. It's two brothers raised on the fringes of society, their unbreakable fidelity, finding comfort wherever they can since tomorrow, they may meet the business end of a rugaru. It's the colorful characters they meet along their travels. It's Led Zeppelin, greasy spoons and ancient tomes. It's faith and heart and sacrifice.

Unless Dabb dismantles these things too. At which point, a pox upon him and his house. Writers may lie, but this would be universe assassination.

●●●

Oh! I was going to mention some episodes too, lol. Here are a few quick take-aways, since I've already blabbed on enough.

Episode 3: RIP, Rowena. I looooooved the line, “But I believe in prophecy. I believe in magic.” That was SO her. Of course an ancient witch, the most powerful in the game, would live (and die) on those words. And kudos to the show for remembering it put that Sam gun on the mantel in Season 13, iirc. Pretty sure we'll see Rowena again before the grand finale, though.

Big happy for the suggestion that Sam is a witch-in-the-making. Also glad Cas finally got his brain wrapped around the fact that Dean was pissed at him but he didn't need to take it anymore. Dean has some valid reasons to need space from Cas, and it's a handy way to get Cas off doing his own thing (as Misha is not contracted for every episode).

Berens did a solid job writing this episode, but I'm glad we've wrapped the customary 3-episode season premier. I had high hopes for myriad crusty, decaying dead shambling around a grim world, but instead we got a handful of ghosts, literally running around in broad daylight. The first two episodes were … clumsy.

Episode 4: 'Atomic Monsters', was written by my favorite current SPN writer, Davy Perez, and he did not disappoint! Something about the way he writes dialogue sounds so naturalistic to me, and he manages to tap into authentic feelings in the characters without feeling rushed or contrived. I believe his stories. I never get thrown out of his episodes.

The episode was lovingly directed by Jensen Ackles. The guy flat out knows what to give us. That whole beginning red scene, with Dean and his John Wick bad-assery and then … then we get a Sam who has never eschewed his demon blood addiction. It was chilling and gorgeously actualized and I might have watched that bit more than is healthy.

And we got to revisit Becky Rosen, who is now a fangirl—like many of us—but she's grown up and assimilated fandom enjoyment into her daily life. Perez did a great job in saving Becky, as a character. She isn't the butt of anyone's joke anymore. She isn't a dangerously unbalanced fan. She's just … one of us. Thank you, sir.

Episode 5: Fun stuff in this one! Brotherly banter, Sam and Dean dressed as sort-of Fish and Game employees, a brilliant turn by actress Anna Grace Barlow reprising Lilith (no one saw this coming!), werewolf brothers as yet another example of monsters that aren't as cut-and-dried as hunters might like, and more 'visions' from Sam wherein Sam is Lucifer again, and Dean still has the Mark of Cain. YUM.

But there were also a couple some not-so-fun things. The girls glamping in the beginning was just plain silly, the fight scenes had too many jump cuts (imho), but mostly, why on earth would they leave the God gun in the glove compartment of the Impala?? I noted that back when Dean put it in there, Episode 2 I think it was, but I seriously doubt they wouldn't have locked it up safely after that. Please, foo. Don't make our characters stupid.

By episode's end, Dean is clearly frustrated and demoralized by their predicament. It's clear Sam and Dean will be taking turns buoying each other's flagging spirits this season. As co-dependent as ever. I am here for this.

●●●

This post has gone on long enough, so I think I'll hold Episode 6 ruminations for a separate entry, and maybe dish about where we think the series is heading, for a finale. Anyone reading this probably has a numb butt by now. Anywho, thanks for hanging in with me, gang! Talk at you later...

#Safetypin stuff #S15 meta #S15 episode reviews #such as they are #pinch o' salt

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dustyroseandunicorns-blog · 6 years

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As the daylight comes, we have to go

We knew this day would come

We knew it all along

How did it come so fast?

It has been one hell of a ride, au. But without you, it would be worse.

These past few days, I really wanted to reminisce our moments together. But I told myself to hold back and just seize every second with you.

This day marks the end of our classes and it doesn't feel like the end of it all. It feels a normal day. It feels like everything is just as it is months back. Parang kailan lang yung sumugod tayo sa admin dahil di natin matanggap yung sectioning. Parang kailan lang yung nagtatawanan tayo sa first day natin sa electronics dahil takot si ryan na hawakan yun kasi akala niya nakakakuryente. Parang kailan lang din yung nagrarush tayo ng research papers then pabalik balik sa computer shop kasi marami pang mali sa manuscripts. Parang kailan lang din yung pumunta tayo sa Cauayan for RICE. I admit that it was the best week of my life. We went there to attend a contest but it seems like we've had a week-long vacation. Parang kailan lang din yung first time nating nag boycott sa research. And I thought that would be the first and the last but last last week, we shut the door and ran away from the non-parametric tests. Parang kailan lang din yung Christmas party na nagvideoke tayo sa room. Parang kailan lang din yung nag celebrate tayo ng Valentine's Day together sa Eva's na mag jeep sana tayo kaso walang dumating hahahaha. We had more memories than I have imagined we could have when we're just on the 9th grade.

This is our last night but it's late

And I'm trying not to sleep

'Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away

Now, we only have three weeks left. Each night, I always thought of how would it be like when everything reminds me of all of you when the school year ends. And it scares me. The thought itself terrifies me. Because the greatest fear I have is the fear of losing and separating — the fear of losing some people in my life knowing that after this, we would barely talk and the fear of being separated with all of you.

You've been the best, au. You've been my happy pill. The light to this dark abyss. The warmth I always feel. Always remember that you always hold a place in my heart, no matter what happens.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go

But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close

'Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own

But tonight I need to hold you so close

Shany: You're the best seatmate ever. Thank you for all the gossips we've had during discussions. Thank you for backing me up when I needed one. Thank you for hearing me out especially when I rant out all the nonsense things. Thank you for being my crying shoulder. Know that I'll always be here for you and I am always here to hear you out when Elee makes you feel kilig hahahaha. Thank you for hearing me out when you're the first one I tell things to. Thank you for being just yourself. I admire you so much for your personality, beauty and wit. Love you Shany❤️ Good luck and God bless, our future accountant 💕

CJ: I never had a boy bestfriend till you came. You're my first boy bestfriend and I am lucky enough to have someone like you. Thank you for being the one I can run to whenever I have problems. Thank you for hearing my rants. Thank you for making me feel that I am worthy of everything. Thank you for all the hugs when I'm longing to have one. Thank you for the constant reminder that I deserve to be loved and that I am not just a void in this vast universe. Always remember that I am always here you can cling on to and I am always here when you needed to vent out things. Love you ceej💕

Janae: Baby wendy, I am lucky enough to have you in my life. I've known yoy since 2nd grade and I know you have that good personality. We used to play a puzzle wherein images were formed basta yun di ko maexplain hahahaha. Thank you for all the jokes kahit na sinasabi ko na di havey pero sa totoo lang havey talaga hahahaha. Thank you for making me think that I am not what I think I am. Thank you for making me realize that I am capable of everything. Thank you, because through you, I was able to yank out of my shell. Thank you for making me laugh in times of despair. Thank you for making everything possible lalo na yung kay ano hahahahaha. Always know that in times of trouble, I am always here that you can run to. Never ever let anyone dull your sparkles, my dear. Love you nae💕

Ayra: Monay, in times of despair, you always cheer me up. You taught me how to stay positive even though things are falling apart. Thank you for all the laughters especially the ones we've had at CVHPP. Thank you for being one of my confidante. Thank you for always listening to my problems. Thank you for being there with me though ups and downs. Don't overthink always because it will consume you so much more than what you imagine. Love you monaybellsss💕

Shane: Shane, please don't let your negative thoughts dominate you. I know you're hiding your problems and I adire you for overcoming those. Thank you for making me feel loved at all times. Always remember that I'm always here when you needed one to talk nonsense things to hahahahaha. You matter. Always remember that. Love you Shane💕

Kezia: I thought back then that you're shy, and too silent. But you're the opposite. Thank you for being there with me through the dark times. Always know that I'll always be here. I know that the last weekend has been hard for you but I know your stronger than your problems. Always remember that. Love you kc💕

Emil: You're the most unexpected person that came to my life. I never thought that you would be my one of my boy bestfriends next to ceej. Thank you for cheering me up always. Thank you for making me feel loved just like others do. Thank you for all the good mornings, good nights, tulog na, and everything. Sorry for everything that had happened before. And I wanted you to forget what I have said to you before. Remember that I am always here when you needed someone to talk to. Love you beshiecakes 💕

Nina: I thought that you're a masungit kind of person as most says when you were promoted way back 8th grade. But as I am in the same table as yours, I learned that you're not. You're kind, sweet and beautiful. Don't ever let them underestimate you. Use your words to voice out positivities. Never be downgraded with the words they say about you. Thank you for being kind to me and thank you for all the laughs and gags. Love you Nina💕

Harvey: When you were promoted in the 8th grade, I thought you were Joshua and I thought Joshua was Harvey. Funny right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Legit yan. Through the bad times and through the good times, always remember to smile and cheer up. You're kind and if someone tells you otherwise, then they don't know you too well. Always know that I'm always here whenever you needed a friend. Love you harvey💕

Yran: Hi love! I know these past few days have been hard for you. Never ever let a single problem dominate you. There are more things to life than him. Always remember that. Thank you for giving me hugs when I'm longing to have one. Thank you for being a good friend of mine. You're kind, cute, smart and most especially, handsome. Don't let other people think otherwise. Stay positive always. Love you , love💕

Laurence: You're personality annoys many people so much that you almost hate them. But I'm not with them. I love how you shut people out when you argue with them. I love how you dance to the tune of kpop songs. I love the way you talk too much. I love how you make fun of people. But always remember that you have limitations to everything. Not all people has the same attitude towards others. Always remember that your secret will be kept and I have never told anyone about it. Stay the way you are and never ever change yourself just to become a person everyone looks up to. Love you lau💕

The sky is getting bright

The stars are burning out

Somebody slow it down

Andrew: You're the most intelligent person I've ever met in my existence. Walang halong biro yan. Thank you for teaching me how to solve math problems when I don't know how. Thank you for listening to me whenever I open up to you. I never thought I would have so many memories with you and thank MTAP, AMPIQS and StatCha for having the chance to be close to you. Thank you MTAPmate for everything. Never ever let others pull you down. Good luck and God bless to your journey ahead. Love you Andrew (yieee baka magselos si ano jk hahahahahaha)

Grace: Your jokes truly make me laugh even though I tell you otherwise. Thank you for being with me and for strolling me around Baguio. You have such a brave soul, Grace. Never ever change that. Always know that you and Andrew are the best MTAP and contest buddies ever. Continue to aspire your love for math. Love you Grace❤️

Abcd: Whenever I open your journal, I see the inner you. I know many people are afraid to approach you for they thought you are mataray. Don't let other people think otherwise. I admire you so much for yiur creativity. Thank you for all the nonsense talks during discussions. You, shany and felmar will always be my fave tablemates. Don't ever let anyone turn your colors into hues. Continue to pursue your love in arts and pursue what your heart and mind tells you to even Jungkook char. Love you abcd❤️

Naiza: You're so cute that every time you laugh, other people will also laugh. Never break the bond of your friendship with abcd, grace, andrew and sam. I swear the five of you makes a wonderful squad. Never let anyone bring you down. I wish you all the luck our future accountant! Love you naiz❤️

Sam: I admire you for being fearless. You're not that shy person I thought you are. Continue to cheer up other people. Love you sam❤️

This is way too hard, 'cause I know

When the sun comes up I will leave

This is my last glance that will soon bet memory

Kenneth: Au fam is so lucky to have someone like you. You're the happy pill of Au. You always lighten up our day with your jokes. Always remember that we're always here for you. Continue to aspire your love for filming✨

Felmar: hi dear eic! Thank you for helping me through filipino especially when it comes to unlocking new tagalog words. When people underestimate you, always show them that you're not what they think you are. When people laugh at you, shut them out with your words of wisdom. Continue to be the felmar we always knew✨

Ronnie: I never thought I would be close to you. When you were promoted, I admit that we're a little bit afraid of you. But you changed our first impressions. Always be the jolly and cheerful Ronnie✨

Jemarie: Never let a single thought bring you down. You're not what they thought you are. Always be the Jemarie who is intelligent and so masipag. Never ever let them pull you down😉✨

Freidrich: I admire you for your intelligence especially in the hs days quiz bee. Continue piling up more knowledge and show the world what you've got ✨

Daryll: Your magic tricks and jokes always make us laugh. Continue to make others laugh in times of gloom. Stay that ever cheerful Daryll we knew ✨

Aaron: As I have read your blog, I realized how shy I am towards the people I am not close to. When we had our firsr conversation, you changed my perspective about you. You're not that kind of person that everything thinks you are. Stay positive in all things ✨

Timi: Thank you for hearing my rants whenever I open up to you. Always remember to not break your bond with the Lord and always strengthen your faith ✨

Darylle: I never had a chance to talk to you but I know you're a good and kind person. Never let them pull you down✨

Kryssha: I'm not that close to you but I know you're just like any other people. Continue to be jolly and cheerful and I hope you'll meet your kpop idols soon✨

Judee: Stay positive even when the world tells you otherwise. Always be kind to everyone and use your words to enlighten people✨

Kat: I wanted to say sorry for all the pain we've caused you. I know that in thr beginning it's hard but I thank God for giving you the kind of people who can truly cheer you up. Never let other people pull you down. Love you kat ✨

Christelle: I admire you so much with how you inspire others with your words. Continue to pursue your love for journalism. Use your words to rekindle people's hope✨

Joshua: I admire you so much with your talent in dancing. Continue to dance your problems away and don't ever hurt ate yieeee ✨

Precious: I don't know you too well but I know your kind and soft hearted. Always be humble and stay kind✨

Buena: Continue to just sing your heart out and show everyone what you're good at. Always stay positive amidst problems✨

Ryan: I hope you will keep your promise that you will not hurt Janae. Stay the way you are and always be happy ✨

Salve: You matter. You're beautiful, kind and intelligent. When people tell you otherwise, shut them down. You're not what they think you are. Strengthen your faith in God and He will help you through it all ✨

Micah: I may not that close to you but I know you have the heart of gold. Stay positive ✨

Karissa: You're such a great macaroon Baker. Continue to be jolly and don't let them pull you down ✨

Jonard: You have a great voice dear. Continue to enhance it and show them your talent ✨

John roe: I admire you so much for having strength in overcoming problems. Never let anything or anyone dim your faith in God✨

Angelica B: Gurl, your beauty and height outstands us all. You're so lucky to have cj. And he will never ever hurt you. Since day 1, I am a fan of celine hahahahahaha. I hope to see you and cj together soon hahahahaha 💕💕💕

Angelica C: Your laugh is epidemic that your laugh makes us all laugh. Continue to cheer people up✨

Karlos: You're too silent in class. But I admire you back in research days when you're not terrified in handling rats ✨

Karen: I know that you're as cheerful as anyone. Continue to be jolly at all times✨

Julia: Never let anyone dull your smile. Continue to aspire what your heart tells you to✨

Kristel: At first, I thought you are mataray but you're not. Stay kind always ✨

Joanna: You're height doesn't define what you've got. You're more than what people think you are. Stay positive ✨

Whesley: I know that you've changed. But somehow, I hope you will not be that short - tempered whesley when we enter shs✨

I never want it to stop

Because I don't wanna start all over

Start all over

I was afraid of the dark

But now it's all that I want

All that I want, all that I want

The lyrics say it all. I will truly miss you and the memories, au fam. I really wanted the stress and reqs to end but not the memories and time with you, au. It has been a long and tough journey with you. Thank you for the memories, the laughters, the "boycott" memories, the "fridays with au", and everything. 20 years from now, we will have a reunion and I am excited and looking forward with how we will look like in the near future. I hope that if we will meet again, we would be just like the Au that has been cheerful. There are no ways to escape goodbyes but goodbyes are the start of a new chapter. Nothing can ever replace the memories we've had. I will surely miss you all. LOVE YOU AU FAM😭😭😭

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singingunderthecurtain · 7 years

Text

The Eve [I]

Pic not mine, found it on google.

Author: @loeyeolty and @julietsoddeye (smut) AU: Canon Genre: Crack | Smut | Angst Pairing: Chanyeol x OC x Kris Trigger Warning: Some swearing, Angst, Smut and jokes. Word Count: 5,336

MINI MASTERLIST

Plot: Your best friend, Chanyeol, drunkenly confessed to you. What would you do?

Another collaborative work!!! We used my OC Amano Hisako and Liu Yanmei from the Diamond universe, but this is a completely different universe lmfao. Diamond was CEO!AU, while this is Canon.

“Chan can you drive yourself home?” you handed over his car keys, which he took without any hesitation.

“Of course! I’m a fucking expert driver. Watch me!” Seeing Chanyeol get inside the Driver’s seat was a pain to watch, he almost tumbled down in several attempts.

While he successfully inserted the key and started the car, Chanyeol’s head fell face flat on the wheel. Squishing the horn, making a nonstop beep.

You pulled Chanyeol back, cupping his cheeks, “Chan, how many hours do you need to sober up?” Your best friend actually looks really cute with his face smushed up like that.

“Sobering up is easy, healing my heart is not,” he wailed.

“Hyung, when I saw them together I felt like my heart was being pounded into pieces.”

“Joy and who?” you released him, laying his head on the headrest.

“Joy who? I was over that heartless bitch ages ago. Hyung, Kris is dating Hisako. I thought she was my best friend. I, of all people, should know first. I should be her first!” He pounded his fists again on the horn.

It’s almost 5 am and your pre-work morning yoga is being interrupted by a flurry of missed calls from MQ.

“You’re awake? Good. Please come over asap, Chan doesn’t look too good.”

MQ's voice was not exactly the best thing to hear in the morning.

“Why what’s up?”

“So we drank last night, he wanting to get over some mumbling girl named Joy. I went out to pee, then I came back and he passed out all over our table.”

“So? Bring him home then?”

You scratched your head in annoyance. MQ disturbed your dead man’s pose.

“I would if I did not have to catch a flight in like 3 hours. See you here at Itaewon.”

he hung up.

As much as you hated MQ, he was your best friend’s best friend after all. And your best friend Chanyeol is needing your help. It's not as if he always asks for your help in drunken situations. Chanyeol was usually a responsible drinker. For him to be unconscious, that girl Joy must have wrecked his heart.

'Fine.' You mouthed to yourself, grabbed a huge coat over your work out tank and yoga pants, and booked an Uber to Itaewon.

“This is our situation.”

MQ greets you at the door of the samgyupsal grill. Pointing at a half-lidded Chanyeol who was groaning with his head glued to the table. He was pressing a lettuce on his ear, in a drunken stupor.

“Actually, this is YOUR situation.” With much emphasis on your,

“So do we hail a cab or what?” you remove the lettuce from his gigantic ears and try to pry him off the table.

“Uh no. Got to go! Here are his car keys.”

In a swift motion, MQ dropped Chanyeol’s Benz keys in front of you on the grill table and made a mad dash towards the exit. Ignoring your screams of 'MQ come back', 'MQ you asshole'. You were sure he didn’t see your flipped middle fingers as well.

“Shit. Chan, get up,”

You tried lifting the tall man from the table, whilst stuffing the keys in your coat. He was still half awake, so you grasp his arm and pull it over your shoulders, forcing him to stand up.

Despite the fact that he was way taller than you. His heavy brown curls rested on your head, putting half of his weight on you.

“MQ you look like a girl, you look pretty now,” he slurred with a smirk.

“It’s because MQ did a sex change for you,” you joked as you guided Chanyeol to the dark parking lot.

“I’m only saying this because I’m drunk and I will regret it but, if you looked like that Hyung, I'd fucking marry you.” Chanyeol slid himself off your grasp, upon reaching his SUV.

“Chan, that’s gay.” You continued to pretend to be MQ, and he doesn’t seem to get the clue.

“Chan can you drive yourself home?” you handed over his car keys, which he took without any hesitation.

“Of course! I’m a fucking expert driver. Watch me!” Seeing Chanyeol get inside the Driver’s seat was a pain to watch, he almost tumbled down in several attempts.

While he successfully inserted the key and started the car, Chanyeol’s head fell face flat on the wheel. Squishing the horn, making a nonstop beep.

You pulled Chanyeol back, cupping his cheeks, “Chan, how many hours do you need to sober up?” Your best friend actually looks really cute with his face smushed up like that.

“Sobering up is easy, healing my heart is not,” he wailed.

“Hyung, when I saw them together I felt like my heart was being pounded into pieces.”

“Joy and who?” you released him, laying his head on the headrest.

You felt frozen in your seat. How did he know? You and Kris have tried to keep things low key.

“I thought I had a chance with her, then I caught Kris leaving her apartment yesterday.” a tear rolled down his impeccably soft cheek.

It never really occurred to you that this guy may actually like you. He always just asked you for advice, of his new flavor of the month, recently Joy. You told him to stop being a fuckboy, and he actually got mad. Really? If bringing home a different girl every month is not the definition of a fuckboy, then what is?

You had thought that being the only constant go-to girl in this life. Albeit platonic, he would come to his senses one day. Until Kris came: he was loyal, sweet and caring. He assured you that you were the only girl in his life. Week after week, you were the only girl he was with. For the first time, you felt like a woman, he treated you like one.

“Hyung,” a lone tear rolled down Chanyeol’s cheeks, yet his nose was clogging up,

“I don’t know what to do with these flowers,” he points at some wrapped up items at the back of his car.

“They’re rotting, take them home. I can’t bring them to her.”

You take a glimpse of the foul-smelling, brown and faded roses, in a disordered array at the back. There was also a stuffed toy of a huge Neko Atsume, stained with the withering roses.

“Nice cat,” was all you could mouth. Your hands were shaking in guilt, confusion, and anger. You were too late Chanyeol, too late.

“I was planning to give that to her, but I can’t bear the fact that Kris is probably fucking her right now. And she’s begging him to take hi--” Chanyeol clenched his hands on his jeans, almost ripping up at the seam in the process.

“Stop.” you placed a gentle hand on his,

“I’m sorry Chan, I’m sorry for your pain.” Yet there was a pang in your heart, thinking of what could have been.

“I’ll drive you home,” you instructed him to switch seats. Like an obedient kid, Chanyeol climbed up to the passenger seat and wiped away his snot.

“Thanks, Hyung.”

You drove Chanyeol home. And upon arriving at his pad, the sun was starting to break, sky changing colors from black to orange and then blue.

“Thank you,” he murmured in his drunken state, his head resting on the window.

“Hisako and I used to go on drives, we would switch driving. I miss her.” he gathers a handful of his hair and tugs it.

Chanyeol’s words twist a knot in your heart. But you are already committed to Kris. Chanyeol has been stringing you along for years after all. Who knows when he will change? Out of friendship, you help him get inside his apartment studio. Wherein the giant swoops down on his couch.

6AM. You will be late, but you feel compelled to give him an explanation at the very least. You nudge Chanyeol, whose face is all reddened up, to his side, and calmly clasps his cold icy hands in your warm ones.

“Hisa--ko..?” He finally recognizes you, as daylight broke.

“Chan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hide it from you, but I’m seeing a guy named Kris. He’s really kind. As my best friend, you should know.”

Chanyeol swallows a heavy gulp, you gaze at his eyes, seeing a glint of pain and betrayal.

“Also, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep fetching you whenever you’re drunk, or always available at your whim. It would be unfair to Kris, I’m sorry.” you felt that his hands were prying away from you, so you let him go.

“What does he have that I don’t?” Chanyeol sniffles, and tries to sit up, scrubbing his giant hands for heat and places them over his face. You lend your hands to his cold ears too, but he swats them off.

“Don’t touch me, just answer me!”

“He actually had the courage to tell me that he likes me, and me alone.”

The words that you have always been wanting to tell Chanyeol, over the past few years. Came hurling out like a snowball.

“He doesn’t sleep around, and he doesn’t beat around the bush.”

“I like you too Hisako.” his expression changed from flushed to stern and serious.

“But you didn’t give me a chance... if only that fucking giant didn’t beat me to it. I would have...” his eyes were begging with compassion.

“Careful, that fucking giant is my boyfriend.” you felt a bit defensive of Kris, yet at the back of your head, you have always wanted the boy in front of you, over these years.

He envelops you in a warm embrace,

“I hate myself. I lost my best friend. I lost the love of my life. Please let me win her back.”

You hug him back,

“This isn’t goodbye. We are still friends Chanyeol. You could still talk to me about your latest, uhm, chick.” You pat his arm, asking for release.

Stab me right in the heart, don’t you?” he was still unwilling to let go.

“You know how to stab mine too. It used to hurt me a lot seeing you with a new chick every month. But now, I’m okay.” You push yourself away from him.

Standing up, you ruffle his hair.

“I wish you the best with, uhm, I really can’t remember the name of your latest one.”

“Neither do I. They don’t matter. Only you, matter.” Chanyeol looks up to you, laughing. but his eyes as if begging you not to go.

But you had already made up your mind,

“Why are you so cheesy? This is not the Chanyeol I know.” you giggle to shake your tension away.

As your heel prepared to leave, Chanyeol walked you to the door. With his towering height, he whispers in your ear,

“I’m going to win you back. Just you see.”

“I wish you happiness, my dear friend.” You gave him a sincere smile, as you shut the door behind you because finally, you were free from him.

Or are you?

------

“I’m going to win you back. Just you see.”

My ass. Chanyeol’s words hover over your head like Blanche. You weren’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse that Your Best Friend made zero contact with you over the past 6 months.

Not that you were expecting any action from him anyway. At least you know that you made the right choice: Kris. And you were able to spend uninterrupted time with your boyfriend.

He was exactly your type: tall, funny and sweet. The same points that made you attracted to Chanyeol, yet he was the committal type. If Kris didn’t have schedules that needed him going back and forth to China, he would have been the perfect one.

But what even bothers you is that even his asshole friend MQ stopped contacting you. It’s like Chanyeol has imposed a permanent ban on you perhaps. The most news you could get about him was through official news sites, just like a regular fan.

November-- the perfect weather. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold, and you could catch a glimpse of the first snow. You enjoyed staying in bed with Kris, who just came home from China last night. Snuggling under the comforters.

You sneaked out of the bed in your tank top and underwear, made a simple breakfast of egg and toast for your lover. And tiptoed back to the room.

Expecting that you will still find his gorgeous form asleep. But you're surprised to find him awake, scrolling on his phone.

Setting down the breakfast tray on Kris’ lap, you join him on the bed. “What you doing Baby?” You trail kisses on his bare shoulder.

“Wow, Chanyeol seems to have hit the jackpot. Careerwise. Look,” Kris shows you his phone screen

“He now writes songs for Exo. And this song Heaven is said to have been staying longer in the charts, months even after its release.”

“Great for him,” you grab a piece of toast and offer Kris a bite.

“I’m curious. How come I never saw him? I’ve met Yanmei and the others. I kinda wanna see him since we last saw each other was in 2014..” Kris nibbles on the toast, while grabbing your waist with his free hand. Pulling you closer to him.

One of the things you loved about Kris was how you can rest your head on his shoulder and feel totally secure. But this time, talking about Chanyeol made you feel uncomfortable.

“I guess he’s just busy.”

“Invite him over. I wanna see him for old time’s sake. I wanted to throw a small advanced birthday party before I go back to China next week. Heck, he can even invite Baekhyun or Sehun.”

He nuzzles his chin on the top of your head. You know he meant to be romantic but his pointed chin hurt your scalp.

“I’m bad at organizing things Kris, I’ll just give you his number. Up to you.”

You didn’t want to go against his wishes. But you didn’t want to see Chanyeol as well. Not after that, he didn't live up to his promises..not that you were expecting.

---

Thankfully, days has passed and you didn’t hear from Kris of any positive reply from Chanyeol.

On Kris’ last day, November 3, you had decorated your living room with balloons. Prepared some Red Wine and bought a kinky cake with an outlandishly pink nipples design. Sexting the boyfriend, who was out meeting out with some old friends. 'I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday in advance tonight. I want your juice.' That sounded a bit, weird but whatever. You had hit send.

Disappointment crept up your face when he did not reply. Damn, time for Plan B. You took out the lingerie you had been reserving for special occasions. Red leather underwear and red nipple tassels. The weather was chilly so you wore a tan coat over it while waiting for Kris to come home.

Finally, your phone beeped, receiving a measly lame reply from Kris. 'Great. Bought some pineapple juice. Coming home in 5.'

You weren’t sure if he understood that you were wanting him tonight but at least he’s coming home.

A mere soft knock on the door made you jump in anticipation, still clad in your tan coat. But opening the door sent chills down your spine.

It was Kris.

But with an equally tall guy behind him.

His hair was red tinged with black roots and pushed back. And still in his perpetual black shorts and Adidas hoodie.

And here you were, almost naked beneath your tan coat.

Feigning warmness and friendliness,

“Babe!” You kissed Kris on the lips before giving Chanyeol a friendly hug. His body pressing onto you, making you feel the hardness of your tassels on your chest. You pray that he did not feel that.

But the smirk on his face after your release from the hug indicates otherwise.

“Oh, Hisako you prepared all this for me?” Kris covered his mouth, astounded with all the preparations. But one thing you did not expect was visitors, hence the boob cake laid out for both the tall guys to see.

“That cake is amazing but I don’t want the fake thing,” Kris comes towards you, giving you a squeeze on your waist. You blush, feeling hot at his words.

Chanyeol stood there, awkwardly watching the two of you, as he cleared his throat.

“I did not know you were coming,” you asked him to sit down on the couch.

“He accepted my invite, last minute,” Another knock on the door and Kris was quick on his toes to receive the guest.

A loud mouthed boy had entered your ruined sexy birthday party

“Hisako!!! Long time no see!!” He immediately takes you in a tight hug. And without any filter, he comments,

“Woah, I think you have some card boards on your chest--” to which he stops and stares at you.

“Oh sorry, for Kris right? Kris, you lucky son of a bitch!”

“What? Babe, it's hot, it's okay to take off your coat,” Kris genuinely, out of concern, asks you to.

“No, I’m okay.” Your body has weird ways of not cooperating. Instead of feeling embarrassed, your tits started feeling hard instead.

“I just, came home from work, I need to change..” you excused yourself to your room.

But in earshot you can hear Baekhyun “Hyung, she’s wearing lingerie. Nipple Tassels I think.” And breaks into solo laughter.

You quickly change into a floral dress, with a fairly decent neckline cut. Enough to show some skin, and enough to elicit inappropriate comments from Baekhyun.

“Kris Hyung, I knew you’d be the luckiest among us,” with him blatantly staring at your chest.

“I know. I am.” Kris sits beside you on the sofa, across Baekhyun and Chanyeol who were chugging on some soju shots.

“How about you Baekhyun, seeing anyone? Taeyeon?” Kris asks. You glance at him and he seems seriously happy to be reunited with his buddies.

“Ah. I learned my lesson.” He coyly answers.

“You should ask Chanyeollie he’s the player!” Baekhyun’s comment merited him a nudge to the rib by the man in the hoodie.

“Seeing anyone Chanyeol? Last time I left you were still dating that trainee Joy..” Kris innocently asks. There seems to be no trace of awkwardness or jealousy on his face. As Kris starts to not so subtly, trace his hand inside the hem of your skirt, rubbing your thighs.

“None. I have decided to focus on my career, producing songs, song writing.” He cockily answers, and Baekhyun nods in agreement.

“I don’t know what got over Chanyeollie. But he completely stopped fucking around earlier this year. I asked him how did you stop? Are you turning into a priest?” Baekhyun slaps his thighs in his own joke.

“But he just told me, sometimes the player thinks he’s just playing but he eventually loses the game. And I’m like, who the hell made you like this?” The smaller man continues to chatter.

“Yeah, I’m like who the hell made me like this?” Chanyeol retorts, raising a brow at you.

You try to slow down Kris’ aggressive hand up your thigh, and Chanyeol was clearly seeing what you two were doing.

“So who’s this girl who broke Chanyeol?” Kris put a pillow on your lap to hide his doings.

“It’s always the nice girls who play badly.” Chanyeol fixes his eyes on you.

“Yeah like Taeyeon,” Baekhyun adds.

“They lure you in then they suddenly crush you without warning.” Chanyeol continues.

“Amen. Hisako, maybe you have friends as nice as you we can introduce to them?” Kris’ rubbing on your knee intensifies, leaving you flushed.

“Male or Female?”

Your question triggers Baekhyun, standing up, putting both of his hands on his own waist.

“Ya. You’ve seen me and Chanyeol with a lot of girls and you still accuse me as gay?”

Kris snaps the garter of your panties, leaving you weak, your

“Noo..” was almost a moan.

“But of course, I like women, but I only have a specific type,” Chanyeol laughs, motioning Baekhyun to sit down.

“What type?” With Kris’ fingers inside your underwear you know you weren’t going to last long. You pinched Kris’ arm. But you still managed to ask Chanyeol that question.

“You know exactly my type, Hisako.” Chanyeol grins.

“Oh shit. My Chicken is burning.” You stood up, pillow falling to the ground.

“I’ll help.” Kris followed you.

But there was no chicken.

You did not cook anything up.

And the kitchen was on the other side.

But walked towards the bedroom.

Seeing Kris enter the room as well.

“Let’s be quick.” With hungry eyes, you closed the door and pinned Kris on the wall.

“Scream as much as you can, I want those fuckers to hear it.” He commanded.

As Kris starts peeling your dress off your body, he simultaneously turns you over. And your left cheek and chest hit the wooden door with a loud thud. You heard muffled sounds of two sets of feet shuffling from the other side.

“What was that? Are they having a fight or something?” Baekhyun asks loudly and Chanyeol hits him on the chest rather roughly.

“Shut the fuck up!” Chanyeol whispers loudly with a slight scowl on his face. He situates his big ear on the door to have a better heed of what’s happening inside. Baekhyun following suite of what his friend did.

“Mmm so wet and needy for me already.” Kris roars out as he rubs 2 fingers on your heat roughly, your back arches and you felt him already hard on your ass. Kris’ left hand is securely wrapped around your nape, pinning your head on the side to the door so you won’t get to move.

“Daddy please stop teasing and just fuck me already.” You gyrate your ass on his boner making your giant of a boyfriend growl with delight. And the razing of his fingers on your clit accelerated. Your legs wobbled when you felt the buzz drawing close. You held onto the towel rack that was flimsily nailed on the door directly above your head. Praying to the heavens above it won’t break and cause an injury to the both of you.

“Fuck! Daddy, please don’t stop! I’m very close!” Baekhyun slaps his mouth shut with his hands to stop himself from making any noise. When he heard you howl in pleasure. Chanyeol removes his ear on the door frame as he swallows the lump that formed in his throat. His cheeks flushed with anger, it should be him who is making you moan, not Kris, he thinks to himself.

“Be a good girl and don’t cum until I’m inside of you.” Kris snarls at your ear. His tight grip on your nape loosened and he pulls down your underwear just enough for him to take you from behind.

“This is so fucking awesome!” Baekhyun mouths as he snickers silently, fishing for his phone from his jean pocket.

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol’s eyes widen when he saw Baekhyun pressing his phone back to life.

“I’m gonna record this so the rest can hear.” Baekhyun tried tapping the audio recording app, but Chanyeol snatches his phone away.

“I will fuck up our bedroom and I will blame it on you so that Kyungsoo will finally kill you for real this time!” Chanyeol whispers fiercely through gritted teeth.

“Fine, fine! I won’t. Fuck Chanyeol, why are you so mad?” Baekhyun snatches his phone back and secures the device back inside his pocket.

“OH MY GOD DADDY YOU’RE TOO BIG!” You cry out when Kris suddenly ram his dick inside of you without any warning, whatsoever. He immediately starts thrusting in and out of you hard and fast, not even giving you time to adjust to his size.

“Are you hearing this right now?!” Baekhyun mouths silently to Chanyeol again, his eyes the size of the moon. Chanyeol wanted to kick the door down so he can stop the lecherous acts you’re doing with Kris. But he knows he doesn’t have the right to since he started ignoring you 6 months ago.

“Fuck… fuck… fuck.” Kris keeps cursing like a sailor when you clenched your walls around him. This is the only way you know that will make him cum faster, so you can both climax together.

“Oh God! I’m almost there Kris, don’t stop, please don’t stop!” You scream out loud, and with that Kris thrusts harder and faster. The banging of the door getting heavier and heavier on every single pounding. You’re sure your bedroom door will be trashed by the time you finish.

“Fuck! you’re so fucking tight Hisako.” Kris yowls even louder than you. Chanyeol’s fist balled up with anger. He doesn’t wanna hear this shit anymore but he literally can’t move away as his feet grew imaginary roots to the ground.

After a few more hard thrash, you finally came and fell apart. Kris didn’t stop his ravage, chasing his own release. With the overstimulation, your grip on the towel bars became flaccid. And Kris tightened his hold around your body before you can even let go of the handlebars completely.

“Oh, baby girl… Fuck....” And just like that, you felt his hot seed burst out and your head whirl as you are overfucked once again.

Kris pushes you up against the flat door with a bang, and finally sealing in the deed with a sloppy kiss to your mouth. “Happy birthday Baby..”

“Hisako, you’re the best birthday gift ever..” Kris lets go of you, leaving your legs numb in the euphoric state you were in. After zipping up his jeans, he graciously helps you get in your dress. He handed you a Kleenex, but before you could even wipe yourself. Nor find your discarded underwear, a loud thud outside was heard.

“Chanyeol!” A worried Baekhyun screams nearby.

“What’s happening?” Kris spontaneously opens your bedroom door. The sounds of crashing plates and series of thundering sounds ensues.

In a hurry, the both of you rush to a panic-stricken Baekhyun grappling a furious Chanyeol from behind.

“Cha-Chanyeol, lets go!” Baekhyun restrained Chanyeol’s hands. Yet he managed to throw the kinky cake off the table, stomping on it as it hits the floor. You scan your surroundings. Your favorite China plate has crashed on the floor as well some of the birthday decorations.

“Chanyeol I don’t know what’s wrong but you better stop before I call the cops.” Kris took a protective stance and hid you behind him.

“Chanyeol..” his raged composure was broken by your soft voice. He looks at you with much betrayal in his eyes. More anger built up on his chest as he saw Kris’ residual juice trickle visibly down your leg. He just could not look, it was killing him, and taking control. Jealousy turns saints into the sea. Clenching his fists, and his ears turning a deep shade of scarlet. Chanyeol knew he was not in the position to be mad at Kris, nor be mad at you.

You feel your insides twist with guilt. Could he still be harboring feelings for you despite even after ignoring you for long? It wasn’t your intention nor Kris’ intention to drive Chanyeol to jealousy. The two of you were merely caught in the heat of the moment between two normal lovers. Besides Kris was oblivious. Oblivious to the fact that the other taller man had confessed his feelings to you months ago.

With a deep sigh, Chanyeol flees the apartment, Baekhyun running after him.

Kris stops you from following your friends. Reasoning out that maybe Chanyeol is just upset over something. You just help Kris pack for his red-eye flight.

Picking up the remnants of the ravaged cake and plates, you thought to yourself, How did it end up like this?

#Park Chanyeol #Kris Wu #exowritersnet #kpopwritingnet #Angst #Smut #Crack #Fluff #EXO #exo scenarios #kpop scenarios

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mystacoceti · 4 years

Text

longish excerpt of John Barth’s “On with the Story”

She (I mean our distraught “Freeze Frame protagonist) happens to be gridlocked in actual sight of that river: There’s the symbolic catenary arch of the “Gateway to the West,” and beyond it are the sightseeing boats along the parkfront and out among the freight-barge strings. As She tries to divert and calm herself by regarding the nearest of those tourist boats — an ornate replica of a Mark Twain-vintage sternwheeler, just leaving its pier to nose upstream — her attention is caught by an odd phenomenon that, come to think of it, has fascinated her since small-girlhood (happier days!) whenever she has happened to see it: The river is, as ever, flowing south, New Orleansward; the paddle-steamer is headed north, gaining slow upstream momentum (standard procedure for sightseeing boats, in order to abbreviate the anticlimactic return leg of their tour), and as it begins to make headway, a deckhand ambles aft in process of casting off the vessel’s docklines, with the effect that he appears to be walking in place, with respect to the shore and Her angle of view, while the boat moves under him. It is the same disconcerting illusion, She guess, as that sometimes experienced when two trains stand side by side in the station and a passenger on one thinks momentarily that the other has begun to move, when in fact the movement is his own — an illusion compoundable if the observer on Train A (this has happened to Her at least once) happens to be strolling down the car’s aisle like that crewman on the sternwheeler’s deck, at approximately equal speed in the opposite direction as the train pulls out. Dear-present-reader Alice suddenly remembers one such occasion, somewhere or other, when for a giddy moment it appeared to her that she herself, aisle-walking was standing still, while Train A, Train B, and Boston’s South Street Station platform (it now comes back to her) all seemed in various motion.

As in fact they were, the “Freeze Frame” narrator declares in italics at this point, his end-of-paragraph language having echoed mine above, or vice verse — and here the narrative, after a space-break, takes a curious turn. Instead of proceeding with the story of Her several concentric plights — how She extricates or fails to extricate herself from the traffic jam; whether She misses the interview appointment or, making it despite all, nevertheless fails to get the university job; whether or not in either case She and the twins slip even farther down the middle-class scale (right now, alarmingly, if Bill really “cuts her odd” as threatened, She’s literally about two months away from the public-assistance rolls, unless her aging parents bail her out: she who once seriously considered Ph.D.hood and professorship); and whether in either of those cases anything really satisfying, not to say fulfilling, lies ahead for her in the second half of her life, comparable to the early joys of her marriage and motherhood — instead of going on with these nested stories, in which our Alice understandably takes a more than literary interest, the author here suspends the action and launches into an elaborate digression upon, of all things, the physics of relative motion in the universe as currently understood, together with the spatiotemporal nature of written narrative and — Ready? — Zeno’s Seventh Paradox, which three phenomena he attempts to interconnect more or less as follows: Seat-belted in her gridlocked and overheating Subaru, the protagonist of “Freeze Frame” is moving from St. Louis’s Gateway Arch toward University City at a velocity, alas, of zero miles per hour. Likewise (although her nerves are twinging, her hazel eyes brimming, her pulse and respiration pulsing and respiring, and her thoughts returning already from tourist boats to the life-problems that have her by the throat) her movement from the recentest even in her troubled story to whatever next: zero narrative mph, so to speak, as the station wagon idles and the author digresses. Even as the clock of Her life is running, however, so are time in general and the physical universe. The city of St. Louis and its temporarily stalled downtown traffic, together with our now-sobbing protagonist, the state of Missouri, and variously troubled America, all spin eastward on Earth’s axis at roughly a thousand miles per hour. The rotating planet itself careens through its solar orbit at a dizzying 66,662 miles per hour (with the incidental effect that even “stationary” objects on its surface, like Her Subaru, for half of every daily rotation are “strolling aft” with respect to orbital direction, though at nothing approaching orbital velocity). Our entire whirling system, meanwhile, is rushing in its own orbit through our Milky Way Galaxy at the stupendous rate of nearly half a million miles per hour: lots of compounded South Street Station effects going on within that overall motion! What’s more, although our galaxy appears to have no relative motion within its Local Group of celestial companions, that whole Local group — plus the great Virgo Cluster of which it’s a member, plus other, neighboring multigalactic clusters — is apparently rushing en bloc at a staggering near-million miles per hour (950,724) toward some point in interclusteral space known as the Great Attractor. And moreover yet — who’s to say finally? — that Attractor and everything thereto so ardently attracted would seem to be speeding at an only slightly less staggering 805,319 mph toward another supercluster, as yet ill-mapped, called the Shapley Concentration, or, to put it mildly, the Even Greater Attractor. All these several motions-within-motions, mind, over and above the grand general expansion of the universe, wherein even as the present reader reads this present sentence, the galaxies all flee on another’s company at speeds proportional to their respective distances (specifically, in scientific metrics, at the rate of fifty to eighty kilometers per second — let’s say 150,000 miles per hour — per “megaparsec” from the observer, a megaparsec being one thousand parsecs and each parsec 3.26 light-years). Don’t think about this last too closely, advises the author of “Freeze Frame,” but in fact out Alice — who has always had a head for figures, and who once upon a time maintained a lively curiosity about such impersonal matters as the constellations, at least, if not the overall structure of the universe — is at this point stopped quite as still by vertiginous reflection as is the unnamed Mrs. William Alfred Barns by traffic down there in her gridlocked Subaru, and this for several reasons. Apart from the similarities between Her situation vis-à-vis “Bill” and Alice’s vis-à-vis Howard — unsettling, but not extraordinary in a time and place where half of all marriages end in separation or divorce — is the coincidence of Alice’s happening upon “Freeze Frame” during a caesura in her own life-story and reading through the narratives of Her nonplusment up to the author’s digression-in-progress just as, lap-belted in a DC-10 at thirty-two thousand feet, she’s crossing the Mississippi River in virtual sight of St. Louis not long past midday (Central Daylight Savings Time), flying westward at an airspeed of six hundred eight miles per hour (so the captain has announced), against a contrary prevailing jet stream of maybe a hundred mph, for a net speed-over-ground of let’s say five hundred, while Earth and its atmosphere spin eastward under her, carrying the DC-10 backward (though not relatively) at maybe double its forward airspeed, while simultaneously the planet, the solar system, the galaxy, and so forth all tear along in their various directions at their various clips — and just now two flight attendants emerge from the forward galley and stroll aft down the parallel aisles like that deckhand on the tourist stern-wheeler, taking the passengers’ drink orders before the meal service. Alice stares awhile, transfixed, almost literally dizzied, remembering from her happier schooldays (and from trying to explain relative motion to Sam and Jessica one evening as the family camped out under the stars) that any point or object in the universe can be considered to be at rest, the unmoving center of it all, while everything else is in complex motion with respect to it. The arrow, released, may be said to stand still while the earth rushes under, the target toward, the archer away from it, et cetera.

[. . .]

Back, rather, she goes, to that extended digression, wherein by one more coincidence (she having just imaged the arrow in “stationary” flight — but not impossibly she glanced ahead in “Freeze Frame” before those flight attendants caught her eye) the author now invokes two other arrows: the celebrated Arrow of Time, along whose irreversible trajectory the universe has expanded ever since Big Bang, generating and carrying with it not only all those internal relative celestial motions but also the story of Mr. and Mrs. W. A. Barnes from wedlock through deadlock to gridlock (and of Alice and Howard likewise, up to her reading of these sentences); and the arrow in Zeno’s Seventh Paradox, which Alice may long ago have heard of but can’t recollect until the author now reminds her. If an arrow in flight can be said to traverse every point in its path from bow to target, Zeno teases, and if at any given moment it can be said to be at and only at some on of those points, then it must be at rest for the moment it’s there (otherwise it’s not “there”); therefore it’s at rest at every moment of its flight, and its apparent motion is illusory. To the author’s way of thinking, Zeno’s Seventh Paradox oddly anticipates not only motion pictures (whose motion truly is illusory in a different sense, our brain’s reconstruction of the serial “freeze-frames” on the film) but also Werner Heisenberg’s celebrated Uncertainty Principle, which maintains in effect that the more we know about a particle’s position, the less we know about its momentum, and vice versa — although how that principle relates to Mrs. Barne’s sore predicament, Alice herself is uncertain. In her own mind, the paradox recalls that arrow “at rest” in mid-flight aforeposited as the center of the exploding universe . . . like Her herself down there at this moment of Her story; like Alice herself at this moment of hers, reading about Hers and from time to time pausing to reflect as she reads; like very one of us — fired from the bow of our mother’s loins and arcing toward the target of our grave — at any and every moment of our interim life-stories.

[. . .]

[. . .]then returns, glass in hand, to the freeze-framed “Freeze Frame,” whose point she think she’s beginning to see, out of practice though she is in reading “serious” fiction. To the extent that anything is where it is [the author therein now declares], it has no momentum. To the extent that it moves, it isn’t “where it is.” Likewise made-up characters in made-up stories; likewise ourselves in the more-or-less made-up stories of our lives. All freeze-frames [he concludes (concludes this elaborate digression, that is, with another space-break, after which the text, perhaps even the story, resumes)] are blurred at the edges.

An arresting passage, Alice acknowledges to herself.

#pearl diver

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