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#where i can afford or stop working to get top surgery :

hairmetal666 · 4 months

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Steve who goes on a Bake Off type show after Robin, Dustin, and Max set him up as a contestant. He doesn't want to, doesn't think baking or cooking should be stressful, but he's been wallowing since his knee surgery took him out of work and basketball, since his divorce.

His first day on set, he's totally gobsmacked by the sexy host with all the tattoos and long, curly hair. Just, cannot take his eyes off the guy, blushing and stammering whenever he comes around to do interviews, obviously can't stop starring.

After the first day, where he manages to stay comfortably in the middle of the pack, he calls Robin to complain about what a mess he becomes around this gorgeous dude.

Her response is to cackle and say, "Steve! How do you not know who Eddie Munson is? Oh my god, you're a disaster."

Turns out, Eddie Munson is the lead singer of Dustin's favorite band, Corroded Coffin, and also pretty well-known for his dnd YouTube channel. He's been a host on the show for years, only Steve doesn't really pay attention when the others watch it and didn't know.

Eddie, for his part, is losing his mind. He'd known about the beautiful contestant for this season, former college basketball superstar turned coach, having a hell of a shitty year after dislocating his kneecap in a charity game. Eddie--foolishly, it turns out--thought he wouldn't be as attractive in person. He also expected Steve to be terrible and egotistical, a jock through and through.

So, when Steve Harrington walks into the tent in a short-sleeved polo and obviously ironed jeans and is still drop-dead gorgeous, he's fucking flabbergasted. And then Steve has the audacity to be nice? Kind and thoughtful and running to help other bakers when he still has work to do himself? He also blushes so pretty, high across his nose and cheeks, and god does hewant to be the reason Steve blushes like that.

Eddie is beside himself.

Leading up to the second week, Steve schools himself into being calm around Eddie. He can't afford to lose his cool like that every time the host is around. Except, this week Eddie flirts with him shamelessly. Winks at him, leans into space, calls him "m'lord" with this deeply resonant voice that makes Steve want to drop to his knees. Steve doesn't mean to, not really, but he flirts right back, feeding Eddie tidbits of his bakes and looking for any excuse to touch him.

Steve does well for the first half of episodes. He never wins the technical or star baker, but he's regularly within the top contestants. On episode five, though, something is off. He's distracted, forgetful, doesn't leave enough time for his custard to set in the signature. Eddie asks if he's okay, but Steve shrugs and smiles, says "off my game today."

But then, in the technical, he curdles his buttercream more than once, and his genoise sponge burns. Eddie watches as Steve folds his arms above his head and disappears from view. He doesn't hesitate, he sprints from his interview, falling to his knees in front of the contestant.

"Stevie, sweetheart, what's going on?"

"I get migraines," Steve whispers. Trails of wet streak down his cheeks. "I've felt one coming all morning, been trying to stave it off but--"

"Okay, okay," Eddie shakes out his hands. "You can sit out this challenge, yeah? Or take this weekend off. It happens. You'll come back next week--"

"I don't want to stop." More tears fall from his eyes.

"What do you need?"

Steve shakes his head, wry little smile pulling at his lips. "Time to breathe."

Eddie glances up, eyes catching on the camera crew hovering in front of them. He throws both middle fingers up and says, in the most reasonable and even tone, "fuck!" Everyone in the tent looks at him, but he doesn't stop. "Shit!" "Bitch!" Motherfucker!" He goes on and on, saying the filthiest series of things he can think of. The camera crew steps away, another contestant brings Steve a glass of water, and Eddie sits with him.

The other host announces that there are thirty minutes remaining in the challenge.

"Well. That's that, then," Steve says. He stands, patting the naked skin of Eddie's knee where it shows through the rip in his jeans as he goes.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"Out of time, no cake, no buttercream."

Eddie hops to his feet. "You're going to let that stop you?"

"Well." Steve laughs. "Can't serve this." He gestures to his discarded bowls of frosting, his burnt cake.

"You have time to make another buttercream."

Steve raises an eyebrow. "Sure, but not the cake."

"Cut the burnt off. Cover it in the buttercream. Easy peasy."

"Okay..." Steve stares at his station. "Okay, that could work. It won't be pretty, but--"

Eddie, knowing he's no longer needed, steps away, and Steve gets to work.

Steve tells Robin all about it and, as soon as he gets home from the taping and she's immediately like, "Eddie Munson, huh?"

He shoots her a look. "It's nothing."

"Yeah, him leaping over a table to check on you is surely nothing."

"Robin," he warns.

"What?"

"Eddie would never want a guy like me."

She laughs but quickly grows sober. "Steve. Of course he would. He likes you."

"It's nothing, really." He walks towards the kitchen. "What do you want for dinner?"

Eddie experiences the same harassment from his band members and their manager.

"You're gonna ask Harrington out, right?" Gareth asks.

"That would be a little bit of a professional conflict of interest," he deadpans. He doesn't look up from his guitar.

A puffed Cheeto smacks him square in the forehead. "Hey!" He shrieks.

"He means once the season is done, Edward," Chrissy says.

He wipes the cheese dust from his forehead. "Not a good enough reason to call me Edward. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he's straight."

Jeff guffaws. "C'mon, dude. No way. He's so into you he might as well have a neon sign."

"He divorced a woman."

"That doesn't mean anything, and you know it," Chrissy says.

Eddie rolls his eyes. "I may be considering asking him out. Maybe."

Everyone cheers. More Cheetos hit him in the face.

---

To Steve's great surprise, he makes it to the finals. Not just makes it, he gets a star baker, gets first in the semi-final technical. He's baking in the final and might have a fucking chance.

It's with great surprise, once it's all said and done, that he hears his name announced as the winner. He doesn't have much time to process it, because Eddie is striding towards him. He's not carrying the cake stand trophy or flowers, it's just Eddie.

Eddie who stops in front of him, eyes shining. Eddie who leans in and whispers, "I knew you could do it, baby, I'm so proud of you." Eddie who twines his fingers through Steve's hair, pulling him into a soft, sweet kiss.

The internet explodes as the season airs. Everyone is obsessed with Steve and Eddie. They have fics on ao3, a dedicated tumblr community, edits, playlists, gif sets, a ship name all dedicated to them. The fandom grows after episode 5 airs. Not all the footage makes it, thanks to Eddie, but they still witness him tenderly taking care of Steve and directing the cameras away. Fans start scouring their social medias, looking for any hint of their relationship status; even beg them in comments and DMs to reveal if it was just a showmance.

Eddie and Steve, however, are happy in the quiet little world the carved out for themselves after filming. They aren't ready to reveal anything, even hints, whether or not the show would let them.

Then, the final airs and the kiss is revealed to the world. The ending title cards show a picture of Steve with the rest of the season's bakers and the caption, "Steve threw a party for the other bakers..."

The picture then changes to one of he and Eddie, arms wrapped around each other. This caption says: "...at the home he shares with his boyfriend Eddie."

That night, in bed, Steve says, "I'm really glad Robin and the kids made me go on the show. But do you think it's bad that the thing I'm happiest about, way more than winning, is that I met you?"

Eddie places a slow circle of kisses in the dip of Steve's lower back. "Sweetheart, I'd be disappointed if you said anything else. Now, hush, I have a baking champion to congratulate."

#steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #ficlet #fluff #mutual pining #bake off au #tv host eddie munson #bake off contestant steve harrington #i just finished the latest season and had to make it steddie #mel and sue used to do the thing where they cussed and flipped off the cameras so upset bakers couldn't be filmed

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jupitervega · 11 months

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fleein the south part II

hi, i'm ri & i'm an autistic nonbinary trans guy-lite-ish person. 4 years ago i moved out to denver from mississippi (where i was born & raised) & immediately had a massive improvement in my quality of life. i was able to access medical & psychiatric care, my career stabilized, people were addressin me with correct terms for the most part, & i was startin to feel like life had finally begun

unfortunately when the lease ran out on our house end of summer last year my roommates decided not to renew, & then the people who were gonna be my new roommates backed out last minute. in a panic i looked for other options but with time runnin short & top surgery approachin i decided to recover at a friend's house & move back to mississippi once my surgeon cleared me to travel cross country so i could regroup somewhere i figured would be less expensive & at least somewhat familiar

that, friends, was a very costly & painful mistake! every single problem that made me wanna move away in the first place has only exacerbated!

i'm comin up on 8 months post top surgery, i have a beard, & i'm still gettin called ma'am/she/her. trump flags & signs still adorn many yards/porches here. hatred & bigotry run rampant in local politics. the other day i didn't even enter one of the convenience stores in the town where i live when i stopped by because they had posted a very thinly veiled racist sign on the door

when i arrived back here i was not even a full month outta surgery & i had a minor complication, so i went to the emergency room cause what else was i sposed to do? applied for charity as i had around $100 to my name at that point, which i THINK? got approved? also applied for mississippi medicaid the same day, which got denied almost outright as i have no children. so i've been uninsured since november & rationin the 3 month supply of my psych/migraine meds i received before leavin colorado for goin on 7 months. never mind bein able to access hrt!

job prospects here are Not Great! i've had to collect unemployment for a while as i cannot for the life of me find a full time job with a livin wage. otherwise i literally cannot make ends meet as the jobs i've held so far down here are payin average 50% or less of what i was makin in denver. even with the part time gigs i've had i have yet to crack 30hr/wk on any kind of regular basis

housin is an absolute shitshow. my lease is up 1 july (got a month extension) & i've been searchin everywhere for an affordable place of my own or at least a good roommate. the more affordable studio/1bd apartments go for around $700 & up, but most have income requirements of 2.5-3x the monthly rent which, considerin previous point abt wages, is near impossible. roommate listins are available but the majority are questionable at best & seekin a live-in bangmaid at worst

with all these considerations i spent the past few weeks feelin worse & worse lookin for somewhere close to the job i currently have. the leases are like 6mo-1y so i was picturin another year down here & how i was gonna survive, let alone thrive. my thoughts got darker & darker. i'd wake up in the mornin & be sad/disappointed i'd survived the night

this is no way to live

i snapped a few days ago. said to myself "if i'm destined to struggle wherever i go, i'd rather do it somewhere i actually Wanted to be in the first place" & started applyin for housin in denver. waitin to hear back from my first option & have secured a backup with a friend with a spare room for 6mo in case that falls through

right now i need help gettin the hell out! i've got first month's rent already put back, i can continue to collect unemployment until i land a good job in denver, & i'm already reachin out to find somewhere to work. i just don't have anywhere to go for another month or two to save the money i'll need to travel almost 1200mi (~1900km) back to colorado. i'll need at least $500 to make gas/food happen durin the time it will take me to get there, & i need it by the first of july (38 days from day of postin)

please help me escape!!!

ca: $jupitervega

vmo: jupitervega

ppal

please please please donate whatever you're able! pls boost!

thank u so much for readin, pls have an item from my emergency happy photo folder for yr enjoyment

#emergency #pls help #pls boost #emergency move #emergency transport #fundraising #help #mutual aid #mutual fund #direct action #direct aid #help pls #emergency assistance #time sensitive

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apricotbuncakes · 2 months

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"How does donating to your GoFundMe support your Top Surgery?"

I'm glad you asked about this -> gofundme and how it works!

But first: if you can't afford to donate, REBLOG THIS TO HELP IT REACH MORE PEOPLE. You can also repost it to other sites or share directly with those you know can help! This helps a lot because I'm unable to constantly reblog and share it, limiting my reach to external communities.

GoFundMe, in it's most basic explanation, is a collection service that tracks how much money a certain fund has been donated to and holds onto it for the individual/group/organization until they withdrawl (or 'cash out') the money.

GoFundMe takes a portion of what is donated to keep their own business running, but most of it still goes to the person you intended to donate to! This is also why surpassing a goal when on a crowdfunding service is extremely important. If I got exactly 10,000 in donations, I wouldn't have actually made all of that money because of the portion that is taken out.

That said, it is still incredibly helpful! Of the money that I can receive from the donations, I can put that towards so many different things!!

Due to legislation and otherwise hostile environments being created for trans people across the United States (in what is rightfully being called a genocide, but I digress) I'm choosing to go the 'out of pocket' route for top surgery, meaning I'm not relying on my insurance for the procedure. Insurance can take significantly longer, and they have a limited number of people in network (aka people who accept my insurance for payment) that can perform this. It can also limit 'cosmetic' aspects, even if those things are considered standard practice, like nipple crafts.

Basically, by paying 'out of pocket' I'm allowing myself a shorter wait time because im not having to fight with insurance, or sacrificing quality over coverage.

Is crowdfunding my only option to cover this? No! I'm saving up what I can, but I work an hourly-wage job that is considered under livable wage even though it's above the minimum. I'm scheduled to work 116 hours at a part time job for college students, just in the month of March. Because I'm disabled in several aspects, this is taking a significant toll on my physical well being. I am in a better position than other people because I'm living with one of my partner's family who provides transportation, rent (housing), electric, and water utilities, and in trade I help with food through Food Assistance, a portion of the car payment, and my portion of the phone bill. I'm also paying back the minimum monthly cost for my student loans (though I'm working to get that paused for the time being). But I'm still not making $1,000 a month after taxes and bills, which means that without spending extra money, I'm only saving a few hundred a month on my own for this goal.

All of that means that I'll need to look into financing options, what are essentially loans for medical procedures. That's where the crowdfunding comes in. While I am able to make monthly payments to cover this, depending on the plan, interest can start up in under a year. With a $10,000 surgery (that price includes the estimated costs for doctor visits, tests/scans, the procedure itself, aftercare supplies, money set aside for bills while I can't work during recovery, etc) waiting to pay all of that after the interest has started adding could take literal years, and I'd be pouring more money than I can afford into it. By crowdfunding however, I would be able to get the surgery and prior/post supplies and expenses paid for, and then pay for most (if not all) of the finances/loans I took out for it after.

Basically, in my circumstances, the crowdfunding is being raised to help me pay the loans I need for this procedure off, amongst other expenses related to the surgery.

"But why do you NEED top surgery?"

Without getting into the statistics, or even legislative parts of it (and what may try to stop me from getting it by proxy), I'll stick to the facts of my individual situation.

My breasts are a literal pain in my back, and with Fibromyalgia (a disability that causes chronic pain, even when 'nothing' is wrong, a poor explanation but one that is satisfactory for this discussion) it just makes it that much worse. My breasts are rather large and are causing me a great deal of struggle to even breath properly because of their weight.

Even if that wasn't the case though, they cause me significant gender dysphoria, meaning my body is distressing me because it doesn't match my perceived sense of self as a man (or masc) person. Socially, emotionally, and mentally, they limit my transition and health, so removing them is in my best interest (my therapist even agrees). Getting this surgery done ASAP is a priority for me because of this, as well as the aforementioned growing hostility for trans people, and Anti-Trans legislation that feeds into that.

"What else are you doing to raise money?"

I understand that some people are cautious to donate money to someone who may not bring doing tbeir on effort to save money themselves.

As I said before, I'm saving what I can with my disposable income (or money that does not go directly to bills and expenses). I'm not spending on frivolous things (for me, that's eating out, new clothes, trinkets, subscription services or otherwise unneeded items). Unneeded items do not include pet supplies, medication expenses, NEEDED clothing (like weather appropriate clothes for the season), hygiene products like deodorant and soap, and other items that are not bills but are still needed.

But I'm also going to start applying for grant/scholarship money for trans people, or money I don't have to pay back. This money (should I qualify AND receive it) will go directly towards my surgery expenses so I don't have to pay as much money back on loans.

There is a chance I won't receive any of them that I apply for, which is why my gofundme goal is the total cost still, so I'm not low balling myself and having to raise the goal later.

If you really want to, I'm also opening commissions (three slots total). Because I'm packing myself to the brim with my main job, I won't be able to complete them as quickly, though I will work on them as frequently as possible. Commissions have the benefit of the money going DIRECTLY to me, so gofundme doesn't get a cut of it.

Have any other questions? My ask box and DMs are open!!

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melvinthedepressedrobot · 4 months

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so my self-image is weird bc like. there's the way I see myself and the way (I think) others perceive me

and the last bit makes things especially confusing bc being audhd makes reading other people really fucking difficult and some of it just doesn't make sense to me

like as an example I try my fucking hardest to like... track how well I've passed depending on how I look and sometimes that shit just doesn't make sense to me??

rambling and photos under the cut

like, okay, 2013, the year after I came out when I finally had my first Boy Haircut and got a bunch of Boy Clothes bc I was obsessed with passing

and as far as I can tell, I did pass reasonably well

then skip ahead to 2016 when I finally got a hairstyle I liked FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE and had started experimenting w dressing more fem again and started T aaaaaaand I stopped passing

and even w my voice changing I still got "she" A LOT, consistently, no matter how I had my hair or how I dressed, masc or fem and even after top surgery in 2018 right thru to 2019 where in the first part of the year my hair grew out bc I couldn't afford to get it cut AND bleached (and was too afraid to bleach it at home) until I just got tired of being misgendered at work and got it cut w my natural hair colour and then SUDDENLY I PASSED PERFECTLY. NOBODY HAD A FUCKING CLUE WHEN I WENT TO UNI - this was also the skinniest I've been in my adult life, I still wore a mostly dark colour palette and didn't really have any facial hair yet

.....and then I went back to blond (and also started parting my hair rather than brushing it over) in 2020 and started getting misgendered again?? that was when i started really moving towards more pastel in my everyday wardrobe but a lot of the time I was def still more on the masc end of the spectrum, and also finally started showing a bit of facial hair (or, at least, a neckbeard) and also putting weight back on

and that just continued p much consistently since, no matter how I dressed or had my hair and at this point I genuinely have no idea how I'm perceived in the everyday - I've gone through several hair changes, my everyday wear is p much entirely pastel these days, I have fairly visible facial hair which I often emphasize w eyebrow powder/pens and I'm p chubby again and I can never really tell what I'm gonna get?? I've had days w shorter hair, no makeup and a darker, more masc outfit and gotten "she", but then I went out the other week in a full pastel outfit w a skirt and makeup and my pink/blue hair that's gonna hit my shoulders any day now and got an affirmation from somebody who thought I was a girl just for a second and then realised I'm not which. BLEW MY FUCKING MIND, THAT NEVER HAPPENS

and obv I try not to let how others, particularly strangers, perceive me dictate... well, anything, but at the same time it's disheartening to have spent a decade figuring out who the fuck I am, doing affirming things like hormones and surgery and dressing in ways that make me happy and then repeatedly get feedback from most of the world that it doesn't matter who I am, I look some kind of way so I must be something else

and especially when I don't actually know what the thing I'm doing "wrong" is!!! is it my hair?? my clothes?? my weight??? height?? the way i talk?? the way i stand???? I HAVE NO IDEA

i don't really have a point w this, it's just something i think about a lot and it puzzles me

#jamie's chitchat

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honeysaliva · 6 months

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I can't wait until I can afford therapy because to go from your dream job to 2 jobs that made you feel like the gum on the bottom of a shoe, while watching your friends "succeed" (or at least move forward in their lives) is mind killing. The second job took me to a place where I no longer wanted to be here (to the point where I made a plan) and made me stop trusting humans. Combine that with realizing your past traumas, trusting the wrong people (part of it being male validation /pukes), and discovering my neurospiciness... My confidence is nonexistent. I've basically been put on reset.

I have such a fear of abandonment, which is ironic with how much I push people away, but that's a classic. Socializing gives me so much anxiety now and I feel like a scared little chihuahua if someone even says hi in a video game.

Next week, I am talking to my Doctor about new medications, but I hope she doesn't make me feel ignored, as that's pretty common with her. I hope I can find new meds that can motivate me to be a human again.

I really want to start working out for my mental health, but I don't know where to start. Sometimes I think about running, but I don't have the funds for new shoes. My dream is to get into boxing. Also, (TW Body talk!!!!!) my body has changed so much and it's so hard to be comfortable in it. Why did I have to get boobs for the first time ever now that I realized I don't want them? On top of that, I have so many new stretch marks, 50 lbs due to medication, and a keloid scar that needs surgery to be removed, so I barely recognize myself anymore. I want to love my body SO BAD.

I probably should get a journal instead of using my tumblr like a livejournal. lol

#text

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altheterrible · 1 year

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At the end of October, I made what was basically a throwaway post about Lung Health Day. Basically, this is a day that is “dedicated to raising awareness about chronic lung complications and educating others on how we can make a difference.” (https://www.michiganinstruments.com/2022/10/us-lung-health-day-2022/)

I only have one working lung, due to something called diaphragm paralysis, which is a fairly rare and unknown lung condition. It was caused about five years ago when I fell down a flight of stairs and injured a nerve in my neck, leading to paralysis of the right side of my diaphragm. Basically, my right lung is now a useless crumpled up ball in my upper right thoracic cavity. Thanks to this injury, I now have chronic shortness of breath that has placed a lot of limits on my physical abilities. It has also caused a slew of other weird effects too numerous to list out. Obviously, this has impacted my quality of life, and I’ve spent these last 5 years trying to adapt to a new normal. Surgery might help, but I can’t afford it at the moment, and until then, this is my life.

My post was simple. I made a polite request on behalf of people with lung problems: please don’t smoke or vape in places where other people can’t avoid exposure to your secondhand smoke, such as bus stops or near doorways.

This post has over 7000 notes now, and it’s by far my most popular post. Mostly, people have been supportive. But there have been some less than supportive comments as well—and I’m now getting weirdly aggressive anonymous asks accusing me of things I never said or implied in any way—so I want to address that.

My reasoning for my original post, which I did not outline (as it was a throwaway post that I never expected would go anywhere) was that lung diseases are by and large invisible, so you never know who your smoke is affecting. If someone is already having trouble breathing, inhaling smoke is uncomfortable and can lead to further shortness of breath, especially if they start coughing.

Obviously, being unable to breathe sucks. It’s scary. I’ve been living with constant shortness of breath for almost 5 years, and you know what? It’s still scary. If I inhale secondhand smoke and start coughing on top of my regular shortness of breath, that’s MORE scary.

People with lung problems can end up coughing so much from secondhand smoke that we throw up. We get headaches. We get dizzy. I’ve even had a panic attack because of a coughing fit triggered by secondhand smoke. I think I speak for most people with lung problems when I say that we would like to avoid those things.

My post wasn’t asking for much. I didn’t demand for smokers to never smoke anywhere in public, ever. I never said I thought that smoking should be illegal. I never said I think that smokers are bad people. I just thought it would be nice if I could wait for the bus or walk into a gas station without ending up coughing so hard I turn blue.

Most of the comments on my post have been from other people with lung disorders describing their experiences navigating issues with secondhand smoke. Other comments have been from people who don’t have lung disorders specifically, but have other medical problems that are exacerbated by secondhand smoke, such as migraines and allergies. I’ve enjoyed learning about how all these other people with various other lung and non-lung issues are affected by secondhand smoke.

I think it’s important for people with disabilities to be able to talk about their lived experiences, and I am happy my post provided validation for their feelings and a space to vent. I don’t agree with everything every single one of these folks has said in the comments of my post; a lot of people have been angrier about smokers than I was. That said, I don’t feel like it’s my place to tone police them or tell them how to feel about their experiences with their disabilities. And really, I think anger, irritation, and frustration are normal responses to people whose actions are causing you harm, whether that harm is intended or not.

Thus, I haven’t been aggressively curating the comments on my original post. However, I did end up hiding 2 comments because I felt like those commenters were inappropriately hijacking a post about the experiences of disabled people to address tangentially-related issues. The issues they raised were important in their own right, but my post was not the place for those comments. Speaking over those with lung diseases and other issues that are directly exacerbated by secondhand smoke to call attention to the needs of smokers as addicts was, I felt, tasteless. Still rather than call out those people directly, I just hid their comments.

I don’t know if it’s related, but I have in the last day or so gotten two angry asks saying things like I am ableist against addicts, I’m a puritan, and I’m classist (because poor people tend to be smokers, I guess?). My original post, which I wrote in 30 seconds on my phone, says nothing that could be construed in that way, so I’m not sure where it’s coming from. I would like for it to stop.

I guess the TL;DR for all of this is that just because a stranger comments something on a post I made a month ago, that doesn’t mean I’m in full agreement with everything they said. But also, as a disabled person, I’m not going to tell other disabled people how to feel about their lived experiences as disabled people. And finally, it’s kind of shitty to hijack a post calling attention to the harm caused to disabled people by secondhand smoke to ask those disabled people to consider the needs of smokers, actually.

#long post #chronic illness

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fucknuggetmaguire · 6 months

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rant/vent ahead

I've been out of high school for a few months now I realize that I'm barely into adulthood at all but I genuinely feel like I'm failing at adulthood already. I work basically full time lately which I'm fine with, that doesn't bother me, but I dont really make that much money. I still live with my mom which again is fine it doesn't really bother me, my boyfriend lives with us too which is super awesome. but it would be nice if my boyfriend and I had our own place. we can't really move out, though, because my boyfriend is starting full time post secondary in january and I don't make enough money to fully support us. that's another thing is that my boyfriend has an idea and drive for what he wants to do with his life (which is what he's going to school for) and I just don't. i have no idea what to do with my life or what kind of career to go into. and I know that I'm still really young and I don't need to have a plan but I'm so terrified of getting stuck.

I'm so fucking scared that I'm never going to be able to get a job that pays higher than barely above minimum wage because I would need some kind of higher education for that or job experience I can't fucking get. and I'm terrified that when my boyfriend and I do move out we are gonna struggle really bad because we won't be making a lot of money (his career is high paying but it takes some time to get a good start, kind of free lancing/taking odd jobs for the first while). I don't want to be stuck at a low paying job that is not sustainable long term but I just have no idea how I can possibly get out of it.

and then there's also the fact that I want to get top surgery hopefully in the next few years. and that shit is not cheap. I'm wanting to go to a clinic that is not in my area and I think I might be able to get coverage for surgery costs but no travel or accommodations. I'm also not even sure if I'll be able to get surgery coverage cause of course the government is not clear about what they'll help with. and then when I do eventually get top surgery I'll need to be off work for like 6 weeks MINIMUM. if I still work my current job then I'll probably have to wait even longer because it requires some lifting and a lot of movement in the arms and torso that would not be healthy during early recovery. and then I'd have to worry about how on earth I'm going to afford to be out of work for so long because I can get medical unemployment benefits since the surgery is considered "elective" and who knows if I'll be working at a job with paid time off.

I feel so fucking scared about where my life is going just because I don't know where it's going. and the place I live is starting to get more and more unfriendly to trans/queer people so there's also this creeping fear in the back of my mind that says "what happens if you run out of time? what happens if the government stops providing coverage for surgeries? what is going to happen to you if you are forced to 100% cover all costs and expenses of your transition? will you be able to take that?" and that's a really fucking scary thing to think about

anyway, I constantly feel like I'm failing at life and like my entire life from now on is doomed to crash and burn. so that's super fun

#transgender #trans #ftm #lgbtq #trans man #gay #queer #rant #vent #long post #existentialism?#existential dread?#existential crisis?

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litcomp3 · 11 months

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Stereotypes

“The Myth of a Latin Woman” by Judith Ortiz Cofer discusses stereotypes specifically towards Hispanic women; however, as a non-Latina, I want to get into the stereotypes of black women. In the story, she talks about how Latinas are often given these one-dimensional characters in shows or movies which helps the media put them in a box. She mentions how Latinas are sexualized; unfortunately, black women also suffer from this. We are not only hypersexualized in the media but also portrayed as super aggressive.

Ebony p0rn has consistently been a part of the top searches on p-hub for years, but how come black women arent this cared for in society? People clearly love the stereotypical black female body as we see alarmingly increasing rates of BBLs in this decade. Historically, black women were raped and abused due to the fetishization of our bodies or just pure racism. Bringing this back to our current climate, black women are often expected to look a certain way and perform a certain way in bed. These high expectations can take a toll on one’s mental health especially because they are unrealistic. Black women often place these same expectations on ourselves which causes young girls to go under the knife trying to achieve this body type that is unhealthy. Then for the girls who can’t afford surgery, they would lack self-confidence since they don’t fit into this mold of black woman. The story mentions how dehumanizing this is especially when people get harassed or get called names either something provocative, racially motivated, or both. Even when people think they’re being flattering by calling us Nubian Black Queens, it’s still very weird. The sad part is this is only one end of how black women are portrayed in the media.

On the opposite end, black women are seen as these ghetto, ignorant, aggressive women who don’t need protection. The number of times I’ve been accused of having an attitude or being mean when I simply just sit in silence. Black women often have to fight against the stereotype of us being too aggressive, so we belittle ourselves to make everyone else feel comfortable. We have to be overly nice and overly giving just so we aren’t seen as a threat and treated as such. This stereotype is harder to ignore because this affects our everyday lives whether we’re at work. You need to be seen as likable so you can get a promotion or you’re getting pulled over by the cops and don’t want to be seen as hostile so you can make it home to your family. This aggressive persona tends to adultify young black girls and masculate all black women. People aren’t as inclined to help black women because we’re “strong” and “independent”. It was this story in the news about this young black girl, around age 10, who was walking alone on the side of the highway in the middle of the night and was found dead a few days later in a nearby woods. I can’t help but think that if that little girl was white, someone would’ve stopped her and asked her where was her mom. I mean I see missing white girls on the news all the time yet black girls go missing at a disproportionately larger rate. I’m not saying that white people deserve less news time but I do think black people deserve just as much.

-N. Beamon

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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tw: sexual assault, betreyal(?), puking, self harm mention, stuff like that. Sorry if it's too descriptive im really shaken

Im ftm and aroace and moved to a new town a while back and I've been trying to make some more friends so I've been going to events around town that I find interesting (mostly book related stuff, movies, etc). A while ago I went to a poet's work shop and met a guy that I thought could be a friend and we have some cool conversations about intellectual stuff.

Yesterday something similar happened where there was a small event at a book store and there was a guy and I thought we could be friends (and I though I passed? I have a gender neutral name) so we traded numbers and agreed to meet up around the same area today to continue chatting about the books we've been reading and some psychology related stuff

but he didn't see me as like another guy friend and i guess I don't pass as much as I think I do (I've been on T for 3 years and will soon get top surgery) because he thought I was a girl. I was walking back to my bus stop after we had lunch and talked and..

He pulled me around a corner into an alley area and started making out with me and I tried pushing him away but he really grabbed onto me and wouldn't stop touching me and like it kept on happening and it triggered a flashback for me and I end up freezing up a lot during those (sibling sexual abuse when I was younger) and he pushed me down and forced me to suck him and

My phone went off because there was an alarm to remind me to go get groceries on there but it was loud enough a distraction that I could bite him and pretend to answer the call and I ran out of there and blocked his number on my phone but I feel so gross and horrible and I can't get the taste out of my mouth and I threw up multiple times and had a panic attack

When I got back to the room I'm renting I brushed my teeth enough times that my gums were almost bleeding and I washed my hands with antibacterial soap and a ton of hand sanitizer and I chugged mouth wash and threw up again but I feel so fucking bad and I thought my ptsd was getting better but it's so bad and I hate myself so much for thinking I could make friends and I hate cis guys so much

is there anything I can do to make this easier? any good distractions? I tried asking my friend if I could go over to her place and hang out but she said she's too busy and I don't really have anyone else I can go ask so I'm just trying to distract myself and not self harm. On the bus ride home every time I heard a man talking I wanted to just beat them up or do something just I can't stand it

Do you have any advice or anything? please I really just want to wipe the day from my mind completely everything feels so bad and wrong and disgusting and I can't stand the thought of wearing anything less than 3+ layers of clothing that covers me completely and gloves but just the feeling of my own tongue touching my lips makes me gag. I'm sorry this is so messy I just really really really hate everything right now

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what happened to you. Everything you feel about what happened is valid. Please know that you are not alone.

For your own mental health, I recommend looking into getting a therapist if that is accessible or affordable for you, and if you don't already have one. Therapy can help you process this experience in a healthy way with the guidance of a professional. You deserve the highest quality care, especially during this time.

It's unfortunately important, especially as a trans person, to have whatever tools you may need to defend yourself, whether that's pepper spray or mace, rape alarm, brass knuckles, or personal safety apps like Rave Guardian or Sister that track your location and send alerts to selected contacts if you're not home by a certain time. It's also vitally important to go with a friend or someone you know if you're meeting up with someone you don't know very well.

I saw this thread that reminded me of this situation, so I wonder if that resonates with you. I also found this resource on how to practice self care after assault.

Please remember to be patient and gentile with yourself as you move forward. You went through a lot and you deserve to treat yourself with kindness. Try your best to practice self-care, whatever that means for you.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw SA #tw transphobia #tw r #trauma details

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bsaw617 · 1 year

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http://www.brightonspineandwellness.com

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Should I see a specialist first instead of a chiropractor for back pain?

For back pain, a chiropractor IS a specialist. Unless you need surgery, the most likely recommendation you’ll get from a medical specialist is pain medication and physical therapy. Studies show that for low back pain you get better long-term results from chiropractic care.

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ShOULD I GET A CHIROPRACTIC ADJUSTMENT AFTER MY CAR ACCIDENT?

A car accident is the last thing anyone needs. Between all life’s other daily struggles, adding a car accident into the mix creates more stress and more things to think about. On top of that, car accident injuries can create an added strain on your life, forcing you to take time off work or even making you unable to do certain tasks. One of the biggest questions after a car accident is where to seek treatment for those injuries. Here’s when and why you should consider a chiropractic adjustment after a car accident:

WAS THE CAR ACCIDENT EXTENSIVE?

Most people will agree to go to the hospital after an extensive car accidents, and so. Any time a head injury is involved, or there is a chance for internal bleeding, getting emergency medical care is important.

But what most people don’t realize after an accident is that even minor car accidents can lead to soft tissue injuries, and if untreated they can lead to chronic arthritic issues. It’s a misconception that only high-impact collisions cause accidents. In reality, even minor fender benders can lead to injury and more than half of all whiplash injuries occur in crashes where there was little to no damage to the vehicle. The only way to rule out injuries is to seek medical attention.

ARE YOU IN PAIN?

Pain after a car accident is a good sign of an injury. If there’s any chance that severe or life threatening injuries are involved, you should first go to an emergency room to rule those out.

Even if you’re experiencing no pain, it’s still a good idea to see a chiropractor after your car accident. Many car accident injuries don’t cause pain or discomfort until weeks or months later. After that time has passed, and if you still have not sought treatment, you may be forfeiting your right to insurance coverage for your injuries. The best rule of thumb to keep your health and your finances protected is to play it safe and get checked out by a chiropractor within 2 weeks following your car accident.

HAVE YOU SEEN A SPECIALIST?

Going to the hospital or your primary care physician is a great way to protect your insurance rights, but it doesn’t mean injuries can’t be overlooked. If the hospital clears you of serious / life threatening injuries, but you’re still experiencing pain, seeing a chiropractor should be your next step. Hospitals are great at identifying serious or life threatening injuries, fractures, broken bones, concussions, and all the more obvious signs of injury after an accident. But if you leave the hospital with a clean bill of health even though you’re still experiencing pain, it can’t hurt to get a second opinion.

If you’ve been in a car accident, you need to be assessed by a doctor who is familiar with car accident injuries and treats them every day. Car accident injuries can be hidden, not revealing pain or limited mobility until months or even years later. Chiropractors are trained to detect these hidden injuries. They can perform orthopedic and neurological tests to assess soft tissue damage, structural damage, muscle strength, range of motion, joint and nerve function–signs of injury that other medical practitioners (despite their good intentions) may miss.

If any injuries revealed after this assessment, your chiropractor will plan out a care plan, personalized to you and your specific injuries.

This plan may include a schedule of chiropractic adjustments and sometimes deep tissue massages or trigger point therapy. Your chiropractor will use these chiropractic adjustments to restore health to your spine and surrounding muscles and tissue. After a car accident, there may be herniated discs, subluxations, strained tissues and more–a series of adjustments can straighten these issues out so that you’ll return to having full mobility and being free of pain.

If you’ve recently been in a car accident and are considering a chiropractic assessment or adjustment,

Source: https://clearwaypain.com/should-i-get-a-chiropractic-adjustment-after-my-car-accident/

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HOW CAN A CHIROPRACTOR TREAT WHIPLASH IN Brighton Massachusetts?

Whiplash in Brighton is a common injury to the neck muscles that occur when the head is rapidly moved backward or forward and then speedily “whipped” in the opposite direction. This can cause short-term or acute neck pain and restricted movement. The ligaments and muscles in the neck are stretched beyond the normal motion range. The soft tissues can tear or sprain leading to discomfort and pain.

COMMON RISK FACTORS AND SYMPTOMS

While it arises from a car accident, people get whiplash also from high-impact sports, amusement park rides, or even sudden falls. The common symptoms of whiplash are:

Neck stiffness and pain

Pain in the arms, upper back, and shoulders

Blurred vision

Headaches particularly the back of the head

Challenges in concentrating

Extreme fatigue

Vertigo or dizziness

WHIPLASH AND CHIROPRACTIC CARE IN BRIGHTON

Chiropractors in Littleton use different techniques to help ease the pain of whiplash.

Spinal manipulation for whiplash: Also known as chiropractic adjustments, spinal manipulation entails identifying the neck joints that are misaligned and positioning them back into their proper place. That can be done by moving the affected joint into the direction into which it is constrained. In some cases, the chiropractor can apply swift but gentle thrust in the desired direction and in others a slow mobilizing movement. The whiplash injury could have also aggravated a herniated or bulging disc. Therefore, chiropractors employ the flexion-distraction technique, which is a hands-on, gentle, non-thrusting spinal manipulation to ease the herniated discs.

Muscle stimulations or relaxation as whiplash treatments: The primary whiplash treatment used by chiropractors for related muscle dysfunction is muscle stimulation and/or relaxation. That includes gentle stretches to the muscles experiencing excessive tension and repeated contractions of the muscle that is restricted. If the muscles are too tight, the chiropractor applies a more vigorous stretch. Gentle finger pressure technics will be applied to ease the pain related with tight muscles.

Specific trigger point therapy: The chiropractor can identify spinal joints, which are limited or show abnormal motion (commonly called subluxations). He or she will help restore joint motion with a gentle thrusting technique. That can stretch body tissues and stimulates the nervous system to reinstate normal spine motion. Also, the chiropractor can identify specific tight hypertonic, painful muscle points by placing direct pressure using fingers on these exact points to alleviate muscle tension.

Interferential electrical stimulation: While most chiropractic cares are hands-on, there are other alternatives too. One commonly used includes using an interferential electrical stimulation device. That can involve painless, low-frequency currents to stimulate the injured neck muscles. That can lower pain and inflammation caused by whiplash. If the injury is severe, the chiropractor can employ therapeutic ultrasound to increase blood circulation, reduce muscle spasms, and neck stiffness. Chiropractors do this by sending sound waves that create gentle heat to encourage muscle relaxation.

McKenzie Exercises, Stabilization, and Sensorimotor: McKenzie exercises are designed explicitly to lessen disc instability related to a whiplash injury. They comprise simple movements done in the clinic as well as self-care at home. This allows patients to take on an active role in their recovery. Furthermore, chiropractors use stabilization and sensorimotor approaches that are used to correct faulty movement patterns. This whiplash treatment teaches the nervous system to coordinate and control better movement patterns and enhances the ability of the neck muscles to maintain its stability.

Soft tissue therapies: Since whiplash involves soft tissue injury, chiropractors can also include soft tissue therapies in the treatment plan. The treatment aims to restore proper muscle function by applying pressure or stretching the muscles that have excessive tension. Therapeutic massage is one common soft tissue therapy used to relieve muscle tension. Also, depending on the injury, a chiropractor can include muscle energy therapy or different stretch-and-resist techniques.

Instrument-assisted therapy: Instrument-assisted techniques are a non-thrusting method that chiropractors often use. Using a specialized hand-held device, the chiropractor will apply force without trusting into the spine. Also Graston technique an instrument-assisted technique is used to treat injured soft tissues. The chiro can perform gentle repeated strokes using the instrument over the injured area. Besides whiplash, this kind of stimulation is beneficial for older people who have degenerative joint syndrome.

Chiropractic advice on ergonomic: Chiropractors offer whiplash treatment suggestions to perform every day with minimal body strain. That can address factors including work, home, or recreational activities that can propagate the dysfunctions that are caused by whiplash accidents. Furthermore, the professionals can teach better “use of self” as well as stress reduction ways to help ease whiplash pain.

THE TAKEAWAY

If you are experiencing whiplash pain, a chiropractor in Brighton can treat your body as a whole. He or she will examine the underlying cause of the pain and develops a tailored treatment depending on the severity of the injury. More so, an emphasis on prevention and self-care at Littleton Chiropractic as the key to body upkeep will be advocated. This allows you to have short and long term pain relief.

Source: https://www.littleton-chiropractic-co.com/chiropractor-treat-whiplash/

Ready to get a an expert chiropractor to help you with your car accident? Call us at (617) 206-3250

Visit us online: http://www.brightonspineandwellness.com

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naturalhealthreviewguide · 1 year

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