#where everything is about to be painfully real and im in denial that im a grown up

[blueskittlesart]

i know you love tamaki but thoughts on each of the other hosts? my favourite is mori <3

full disclosure tamaki was my first real conscious fictional crush at the ripe age of 11 and TO THIS DAY i have to pause the show during the piano scenes to recover my dignity so he will always be my number one. my everything. my absolute love interest of all time. i could write essays on him for real. i HAVE written essays on him. that being said i can absolutely talk about the other hosts bc im literally obsessed w this show

haruhi was the gender blueprint. truly. girlboy swag. she and misa amane death note were definitely like. the two most influential characters on my personal style in middle and high school. this doesn't say anything good about me. she is also multifaceted and well characterized in a way that's SO refreshing for a romance protagonist. character of all time. also btw im the exact demographic this show was written for meaning i was a tamaki/haruhi truther from the very beginning. where is the tall blonde prince boy to my short stupid gnc bitch. when is it my turn to be happy

hikaru and kaoru. yes i know the twincest thing is weird but i am CHOOSING TO IGNORE IT because 1. the show is making fun of shoujo tropes. its SATIRE GUYS and 2. they are literally so well characterized that it MAKES SENSE THAT THEY DO IT. ugh. anyways kaoru was always my favorite of the two bc i love a man thats in tune with his own emotions. i like hikaru in theory but i think if i knew him in real life i would murder him. i am also obsessed with their characterization and backstory in general bc their specific brand of trauma is one that i so rarely see represented in media and i think they had a very realistic response to it?? like they're genuinely very well written characters i like them a lot. i could also probably write an essay about them

kyoya. im obsessed with him. hes a genius. hes an asshole. he runs a literal profitable business pimping out his besties. girls somehow like him despite him never actually showing affection to any of them in canon. hes literally the worst person alive. hes genuinely kindhearted despite everyone in his life attempting to beat it out of him. hes GAY. this is a joke mostly but i truly think that every decision in his life post-middle school is made because he is obviously, painfully in love with tamaki and also completely oblivious to this fact. like the show might attempt to make you think that hes got a thing for haruhi but literally every decision he makes is for tamaki's benefit (the manga is even MORE explicit about this btw and it makes me insane) and the entire time hes in denial about the fact that tamaki is literally everything to him. it's hilarious. "and so kyoya met him" uhhh fellas is it gay to consider the single most important event in your life to be meeting another man

i kinned honey in middle school for real and every time i think about it i want to die. i unfortunately still like cake. and rabbits. and i am still blonde and short. i might be haunted by this character for the rest of my life

i didn't get the appeal of mori at first tbh which might be a result of watching the anime 2 million times but never reading the manga LMAO bc he really is just a filler character in the show. but hes fun and i like him well enough. im sort of hoping he gets a little more room to be a real character in the manga tho bc ive like. just gotten out of the chapters that were adapted directly into the show so we're in uncharted territory now. im waiting for his chapter im SURE its coming

#I WISH THEY KEPT MORI'S LITTLE BROTHER IN CHIKA'S EPISODE OF THE SHOW. LITTLE MORI IS SO CUTE :(( #finally an excuse to talk into the void about ouran #my discord server is so tired of me sending 'me and who' with every screenshot of haruhi and tamaki i can find #im so normal guys i promise #asks

[irkenheretic]

okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post

(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)

so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections

a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC. 

its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots. 

the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao

i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:

so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.) 

i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf. 

(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)

due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later

a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)

the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers. 

the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.

the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.” 

the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun! 

without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr

(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)

no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters. 

minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.

myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry

this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.

#*falls over and dies* my poor hands and fingeys #yall better mf read this..... #ill post a fic later today or maybe tomorrow #its being betad rn #take this lol! i finally explain myself #for those of you on mobile i am SO sorry #this is fine to rb in case ur wondering. dk why u would wanna but its chill #anarchisma au #live from conventia #long post

[danurso]

I suppose Melting the Ice has to be with WK but Im interested in the story

@loganhunter2 you and elz asked for the same story, so just look here.

K, here we go.

Title: Melting the ice

Pairing: Jaune x Weiss (White Knight)

Status: abandoned.

Chapters wrote: 1

Total words so far: 5,700

Story:

This story is set still at the first year of beacon, weiss had just got through the reveal of Blake being a faunus and things were settling down for her, and during a early seturday she wakes up before than anyone and leaves to grab a coffee, in the middle of the way she meets jaune, she's ready to deny him as always but he just passes by her like he didn't even see her there, all that while carrying a somewhat troubled expression, she thinks about asking about it but considering it could probably lead to him flirting with her she decides against it...still, she can't shake the feeling that his expression is somewhat familiar to her.

After grabbing a warm cup of coffee to start her day and meeting up with her friends on the cantina, they start to ask where jaune is and team JNPR says he's probably training at the gym, and talk about how jaune has been off lately, while they talk about it weiss realizes that's been at least two weeks since he last flirted with her, and considering that he flirted with her at least twice a day that was weird, add the fact that he didn't looked great earlier and it was obvious that something was wrong.

Pyrrha said all of them tried to make jaune talk but he didn't said anything to them, and they had to make a plan to get him to open up, and this plan involved none other than the resident ice queen weiss schnee, the plan was simple, weiss would ask him out and then proceed to find out what's wrong with him, considering how much jaune likes her it would probably easy.

There was just one small thing they weren't considering, because it could never happen, right?

Weiss, after a long discussion and a lot of begging from her partner, accepted to help them. And so when jaune was leaving the gym, still with that same expression of earlier, weiss stopped him and asked him out, and it was then that the impossible happened.

"im sorry but i can't, i'm busy right now, maybe another day."

Jaune then walked away leaving a frozen weiss back along with six extremely shocked teenagers, and after the shock passed they moved on trying to think about a new plan, this time leaving weiss behind.

Weiss meanwhile thought about how it was possible that she of all peoples was rejected by jaune arc, it wasn't possible, she was shocked, confused and...just a tiny bit angry, and so she went after him to get an direct answer from him.

She followed him to the entrance of emerald forest, she had no idea why he was going there but still followed him, she looked around for a bit after losing sight of him but managed to find him after a few minutes, and when she pound him he was using one of the trees as punching bags, and kept punching it with bare hands until they started bleeding, he didn't even gave it time or focus for his aura to repair the injury...it was like he wanted to feel it hurt.

She had no idea for how long she watched him punching that tree, she only woke up from her traince when he cried in pain and kneeled on the ground holding his bleeding hand. Why was he doing that? She didn't knew, all she knew was that she had enough and intervened when she noticed that he was about to keep going.

Jaune was shocked when he saw weiss holding his fist back and stopping him from keep going, and before he could say anything she snapped at him, asking if he was crazy and what he was doing and to not dare to lie to her, because it was very obvious that he was not okay.

In other situations jaune would be overjoyed of seeing weiss concerned about him, but this time it had the exact opposite effect and they start to discuss about it.

A small piece of how it went.

"why would you care? you don't care for me remember!? i'm just an useless waste of space, have you forgotten already!?" he spat. 

The heiress gave an step back, startled by the sudden outburst, but soon she collected herself and narrowed her eyes. "i know i'm not the greatest person with you but even i can say that there's something wrong, so spill it out!" she hissed back. 

"WHY? WHAT DIFFERENCE WOULD THAT MAKE!?" he roared, his anger growing by the minute. 

"I DON'T KNOW BUT IF YOU TOLD ME I COULD TRY TO DO SOMETHING!" she yelled poking his chest with her index. 

"YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!" he turned his back to her. 

"NO WAY! NOT UNTIL I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!" she pulled his shoulder and faced him. 

"IT DOESN'T CONCERNS YOU, YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!" he roared again, this time his eyes started to get slightly wet. 

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE ABOUT THAT!?" she roared again, the heat on her voice growing. 

"YOU JUST CAN'T!! WHY CAN'T YOU FIT THAT IN YOUR THICK HEAD!?" he roared back, an tearstreak rolling on his left cheek. 

"YES I AM THICK HEADED BUT YOU ARE EVEN MORE THICK HEADED IF YOU CAN'T SEE WHEN A FRIEND IS TRYING TO HELP!!" she shouted back at him. 

"SHUT UP!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!?" he roared, his voice starting to crack. 

"AND WHY I CAN'T!?" she spat back. 

"BECAUSE NO ONE CAN SAVE MY GRANDFATHER!!" 

Weiss' eyes widened and her rage vanished, she watched as he breathed raggedly, with more tears streaming down his cheeks. 

"no one can..." he kneeled on the ground defeated. "no one..." his voice broken as he let the pain and sadness overflow him.

After that jaune started to cry for a long time, and seeing him so broken like that made weiss heart sink on her chest, so even against her own reasoning she kneeled and pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back and cried for a long time.

Some time later, after he stopped crying, weiss started to bandage his hand while they both stood in silence, jaune started by apologizing for screaming at her even when she was just trying to help, she said she understand it and knows that despite being just as irritating as ruby, he wouldn't do that under normal conditions and asked what was wrong.

Jaune was hesitant at first but after she promised not to tell anyone he told her about how his grandfather was in the hospital and received the news that he has a rare and incurable disease on his heart, the doctors already tried everything but nothing works, he's now in coma and has only a month of life left, two at the very best.

Jaune told her how his dad was an asshole and his grandfather was the real father figure he had on his life, he was the first person to trust him and even gave his weapon to him, jaune loved him more than anyone else but now he was in a bed a few weeks away from death and jaune couldn't do a thing to help him.

Weiss was silent and just offered comfort to him.

This time jaune was the one who asked, he thought she hated him, why did she helped him?

Weiss answer was that she saw a familiar expression on his face and just now she realized what it was, that was the expression of someone losing what is most precious in their life, and weiss knew that expression all too well, since she herself had to stare at this expression every morning in the mirror when she was younger.

She was hesitant at first but jaune promised not to tell anyone, and so she told him of how her mother died of cancer when she was only nine, seeing jaune suffering brought a lot of memories back, good one and bad ones, the good memories of her mother cuddling on the bed with her and the bad memories of jacques not wanting to waste more money after a certain point saying her mother didn't had any solution.

After her mother died her life was hell, she had winter and klein to support her through her loss, but jaune was alone, she didn't told his friends anything about that problem and bottled everything for himself, and seeing him break after locking up did made her feel bad for him.

Weiss, without even noticing, started to cry at the dear memories of her mother and jaune confronted her just like she did for him, she wouldn't admit it but he hugging her did helped to ease the pain a bit.

After that they went back to beacon and found their friends who instantly noticed jaune's bandaged hand, weiss explained that it happened during their training, that the reason of jaune's bad mood was because of his disappointing sword skills and so she agreed to help him train a bit if he stopped moping around.

Their friends swallowed the lie and weiss told jaune to never tell anyone about what happened, if he did she would painfully murder him.

After that jaune would go and "train" with weiss for some time, but it was mostly so he could vent about his situation, with time weiss felt comfortable and started to talk about good memories she had of her mother, and so they bonded like that, with more intense feelings coming up later on.

That's pretty much all i had wrote and planned in general.

Planned scenes:

1- A scene where one where jaune's grandpa wakes up from his coma on his last few days and calls jaune, jaune talks about it with weiss about how he wants to go but is too much afraid to do so, and so she offers to go with him to see his grandfather.

Upon arriving they meet his family, his sisters and mother are very interested in the girl he brought along, the most interested is mia, the youngest of the bunch who was just seven years old, the girl who instantly called weiss an angel because of how pretty she was, and weiss could help but squeeze the adorableness out of the small girl.

2- the scene of the hospital where weiss meets jaune's grandpa who tells her to take care of him and that they already have his blessing, they both blush while jaune tries to deny it but the old man chuckles while ignoring the denials.

3- a scene where weiss is giving mia a piggyback ride and she tells her about how jaune looks happy when he's with weiss, she said her big brother would get sad all the time and he even tried to hide it from her but she knew he was sad, but when weiss is around she can see that he really is happy.

Weiss tries to say that she's just seeing things but mia says she's not, that jaune is like that because he loves her, weiss blushes and tells her that he doesn't. mia tells weiss about how jaune talked about her on the phone sometimes and how she really wanted a chance to prove how much he liked her, weiss is embarrassed and slightly guilt about that and mia says that it's because she also likes him, weiss tries to deny but it doesn't works and the girl just tells her she will keep a secret until weiss finay tell jaune that she likes him.

Fun facts: that's one of the very first stories i made for WK, it was probably the second or the third one. And the fact that weiss mother is dead on this story is because when i first wrote it we had no information about who weiss' mother was or if she was even alive.

#rwby #jaune arc #weiss schnee #jaune x weiss #weiss schnee x jaune arc #jaune arc x weiss schnee #rwby white knight #rwby whiteknight #whiteknight #white knight

[tartrazeen]

How That Hug Confirmed Irondad

Alright - that's the other thing I'm thinking: Peter's reaction to the hug at the end of Endgame.

Whatever relationship he and Tony had during the two years they hung out was enough for Tony to try to invent time travel, all the way down to the little things like framing a goofy photo.

But Peter was surprised by that hug. It kind of seemed like the first time and only time that it'd happened so blatantly - as in, not a blasé side-hug at the end of Homecoming, but a legitimate, emotional, no-holds-barred one.

But then we have Morgan again (who I'm surprised I like as much as I do when my first thought was her 'replacing' Peter and erasing him), who gets Tony carrying her around, brushing her hair, openly saying he loves her as part of a regular bedtime... and it's like, "What happened? When did Tony get so overtly nurturing? When did the cycle break?"

It broke with Peter.

That death. That loss of a son-figure who - again, was important enough to want to invent TIME TRAVEL (and certainly enough to want to brave all the risks that led to Tony giving up; thank you, goofy pic), and who apparently never shared sincere and open moments like this before, let alone ones like those between Tony and Morgan.

Peter's death meant Tony lost every chance to tell that kid how much Peter mattered, and it casts a dark shadow over any consciously canon takes on a lot of the Irondad tropes the fandom adores. Passing out on the couch together after watching movies? Probably never happened intentionally. Brushing Peter's curls or ruffling his hair? Never while Peter was awake and probably never not as a joke. Any other hugs? Nope - probably just those side-ones. How about saying "I lov-" oh, nope, hell no, definitely not.

Tony has always been terrible at admitting his feelings until shit hits a critical fan. He kissed Pepper only because she's getting ready to quit and leave forever at the end of IM2 after a movie-long car-crash of a fight between them, and doesn't hint at the PTSD until Pepper's got him cornered during IM3 in his workshop. The hug in Infinity War with Peter is from Peter clinging on to him while DYING.

And Tony's constantly clamping down and undercutting any moments of vulnerability with a joke or total avoidance, and it's not until everything's gone almost irreparably wrong that we get to see the sincere emotion hiding under the surface (e.g., that Disappointed Dad after the ferry scene, right after Tony steps out of his armour (symbolic!) and riiiiight before Tony clamps the emotion back down again to take Peter's suit away and dress 'im in Hello Kitty PJs (anything's better than admitting he's actually and personally disappointed!)).

When Peter dies and those chances to have a genuine, little moment of open affection are gone, that's when the floodgates open instead. When Morgan arrives, Tony has already learned how agonizing it is to not take that chance to say what he means. That's why Morgan is getting all that sweetness and involvement: Tony's not making that mistake again, going so far as to make a goodbye message if he fails that's only to be played if he can't come back to say it in-person.

And with that practice comes the pay-off. Peter's back, and yeah, sure, it's the middle of a battle after five years, but it's not like Peter's in some traumatically broken-down state where he wants to cling to Tony again. No - Peter's happy and confused and doing pretty great. It's a relatively quiet moment where (like Cap did with Sam) Tony could've said, "You're back. Awesome. Hey, stop talking for a second because we're not out of the woods yet." Honestly, this could've gone the route that Tony took with Peter at the end of Civil War, with Tony doing the whole, "Okay, stop freaking out, here's the plan, we'll talk in the car on the way home."

Instead, Tony finally hugs his kid. No bullshit, no pretending to grab a door, just open and honest emotion. What he learned from losing Peter gains him a closer connection to Morgan, and what he gains from that connection confirms the unspoken one with Peter.

We know Peter and Morgan are on the same level to Tony because Peter's all Tony can talk about when he gets back to Earth, and Morgan's all Tony can talk about before heading off to master time. Plus, like - did Dr. Strange get a hug? No. No hugs for non-kids, guy-who-saved-Tony's-life-by-trading-the-time-stone-for-him. But because the Irondad denial was REAL in those two years between Homecoming and IW (pick your reason: Tony thought he'd be overstepping, Tony thought that was rushed, Tony was scared by feelings, Tony thought he didn't deserve a kid like Peter, whatever), that hug shows us how far it's GONE when Peter's returned.

And - and!! - Peter hugs BACK. There's a few parts to it: he's surprised so he apparently never thought Tony would want to hug him, he hugs back so he obviously is very happy with this hug, and he says "This is nice" like he doesn't quite 'get' why he's being hugged at all. It comes off like part of him thinks they're still doing that "I don't really need another Father-Figure but oops I guess you are one now forever" deny-deny-deny-so-it's-not-weird-and-so-Peter-doesn't-look-dumb-in-front-of-Tony-Stark dance, so what that says to me is that Peter's kinda convinced himself to not read too much into how Irondad-like Tony is, and that it's... I dunno, wishful thinking? And that's because Peter straight-up closes his eyes and enjoys that moment, hugging back before he kinda checks himself and gives a very Tony-like "Imma just undercut the weight of this vulnerability real quick" brush-off, so it's even more like... we caught you, Peter, it can't be wishful thinking without a wish, that was fully canon Spiderson right there.

Remember: this Peter who came back is the Peter who hung out with pre-Spiderson-death Tony, who was still ascribing to that Irondad Denial in its entirety, so Peter's just trying to be the good mentee eagerly hoping to impress his mentor by also clamping that shit down. There's just as much Spiderson Denial on our plates as Irondad, and if it'd be too totally weird and dumb and maybe even creepy and pathetic to think that Tony Stark - the man, the brand, the Iron Man - would actually want Penis Benjamin Parker hanging around on a personal level, then Peter's just going to have to accept being the best mentee that Tony could ever want.

(except he's tony's son now, you did too well)

As it turns out, Engame is the exploration of Tony embracing his Irondad status. As ten times more painfully, part of Peter's arc in Phase Four looks set to be (as hinted by Pepper's presence in Homecoming) about Peter playing catch up and cracking through to his Spiderson role... and then having to come to terms with the fact that it's...

Well.

It's too late.

But, but, but, but, but! That means there's more Irondad to come, and it's been perfectly prepped by the events of Endgame, because we now officially HAVE Irondad. We'll get you yet, Spiderson, mark our words, but that's still on our horizon. There's hope! There's a future! THERE IS WHUMP. But there's also confirmation and validation and a buffet of Irondad realness that was served to us through a heartbreaking amount of tears and grief (and I'm hoping through further deleted scenes and bonus features).

And now we have to wonder if Peter's going to 'get' it during Far From Home and face the loss Tony felt five years ago, or if he's going to rationalize Tony's actions as being Iron Man saving the universe instead of Irondad saving his kids.

Whump, whump, whump.

#avengers endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #marvel endgame spoilers #marvel endgame #endgame spoilers #endgame #irondad and spiderson #irondad in denial #irondad #iron dad #spiderson confirmed #spiderson #ironfam #whump #another essay you guys i'm sorry

[stateofgrace-acoustic]

lover - first song ranking & thoughts

first of all i just need to say i legitimately don’t feel ‘meh’ about a single song on this album. on any other album. i always had one or two songs i was just kind of ‘take it or leave it’ about. but Lover really did that - they’re all amazing and wonderful. but here’s an attempt at an order of how much i love them!

18. it’s nice to have a friend

this really reminds me of you are in love in the way it recounts all the small gestures and steps involved in becoming close to somebody. it’s really cute and at the perfect space on the album, leading to daylight. not a mindblowing song or anything, but the vibe fits onto lover really well. i’m glad that it’s here 

17. you need to calm down

yeah, i cooled down on this one a little bit. it’s fun and the message is important, but me! is the better single tbh. still though, the feeling of empowerment this gives me over my nonexistent online haters is wonderful. and i love the attitude of the song of just looking at the assholes who live their entire lives putting energy into hating people and just being like....why are you like this. it’s pathetic. calm the hell down. so needed in our current debate culture

16. me!

a real grower! taylor and brendon urie have such good chemistry, tbh that’s really the backbone of the song. it’s just a really nice carefree spring/summertime self love song, a perfect soundtrack for when you feel happy and content with yourself. 

15. the man

just dropping the complete truth on us with this one. i’ve wanted taylor to make this song for years (and i know she said she’s been wanting to but just never found the right words!) the bridge really elevates this too. and it’s sad how relatable the entire song is in literally every aspect of professional (and personal) life for women. i don’t think it’s quite as strong as it could have been, but still really solid

14. i think he knows

this is like the fun version of dress. that’s all i got to say. just as explicit, but this time around it’s super cheeky and i love it. also goals of self confidence if i’ve ever seen them

13. paper rings

the joyful energy this has!! just makes you smile and want to dance immediately, a wonderful wholesome happy bop

12. false god

listen.....this is special. i absolutely think this is the most experimental song on the album, both in terms of the music (is that a saxophone in the bg?? it’s almost got a jazzy vibe? completely uncomparable to anything she’s ever done and still so distinctly Taylor), but also with the lyrics, where she goes into the love = religion theme which honestly....as a Florence + the Machine and Hozier fan, i don’t even need to go into how much of a vibe that is. I couldn’t have imagined it working so well for Taylor though, but honestly, this song feels perfectly brooding, summertimey, melancholy, - it’s almost like taking the darker underside of Cruel Summer and exploring it in depth! this is very much a song i need to be in a Specific Mood to really appreciate, but it’s damn well made

11. afterglow

i love the maturity of this. not just the apologizing for picking a fight, but explaining how it came to be - at the end, from a place deep seated anxiety. ‘it’s all me, in my head’ (those high notes are beautiful) you can really feel how sorry she is. at the same time, the song sounds like something bigger, like an anthem - almost like that place high above that she’s trying to elevate them to.

10. i forgot that you existed

SO MUCH FUN i keep repeating that but that’s just the mood of this album tbh, playful and mature at the same time. this song is just like, when you’re over someone but you just can’t help yourself and have to throw shade one last time before moving on. i love the bouncy beat!!

9. lover

this song is literally the feeling of ‘home’ in music. so cozy, comfortable, blissful. dreamy. perfect title track. also completely timeless - i think this is one of those songs that we will look back on in years as a classic in her catalogue, a song you will always want to play again

8. the archer

this was my definite favorite of the pre released songs. anxiety, doubts, the way they all just keep coming back and eating at you, it’s described so perfectly and painfully. and the production really makes it sound like you’re in a separate space from reality, just stuck in your head trying to find a way forward, to soothe yourself. the ‘they see right through me / i see right through me’ transition in the bridge is fantastic and keeps giving me chills. so much personal connection to this one

7. soon you’ll get better

feels weird to even rank this but......just wow. the harmonies with the dixie chicks are so beautiful, and the way the lyrics talk about the feeling between denial and desperate hope, the transition from “because you have to” to “because I have to” - I have to cling to this hope, or i won’t make i - it completely broke my heart. and the fact that Taylor can conjure all these complex emotions with just a guitar and a few words is incredible. i’m so so sorry for them and i wish all the best for Andrea with my entire heart. 

6. london boy

i already see people underappreciating this, what is going on??? there are multiple cute bouncy joyful songs on this album but this is my favorite because it’s just got a fantastic flow and melody, and i love all of the references to places and dialect specific words and it’s just so wholesome?? but what really makes this is (once again) the bridge. stick with ME im your QUEEN like a tennessEE stella mccartNEY, just the energy!! the fun!! excuse me while i listen to this every day for the rest of my life

5. miss americana & the heartbreak prince

okay, taylor’s brain in this one. i made a post talking about how this song has three layers - at first there’s the high school setting, then it references the ‘cancelling’ of Taylor’s public persona, but then it can also be seen as a comment on US politics and the whole climate of society right now. and it’s all tied together perfectly because high school is the perfect metaphor for this!! she’s basically saying we’re all behaving like immature school children, bullying each other for the stupidest reasons, mob mentality, stupid contests, fabricated stories made up to tear people down, and the feeling of loneliness but also fear and horror that comes with all that for the people who are the victims of it.....it’s literally all like high school in the worst way. i just love this concept, and the melody and production give me a little bit of a reputation vibe almost? which is perfect for the song, the dark dramatic vibe shows the feeling of fear most of all and that’s just....too real. 

4. death by a thousand cuts

........listen, i surely didn’t think that Taylor would write one of her best breakup songs in the year of our lord 2019, but here we are. it’s once again, the small moments she recounts. taking the long way home. the uncertainty if it will ever be fine again. and the bridge/second verse / whatever that part is but that entire part. ‘paper cuts from my paper thin plans’, excuse me. the fact that she wrote this about a movie where a couple breaks up after years really shows tbh, because it’s especially that kind of....not being able to find a part of yourself that isn’t influenced by the other person, that’s so horrible and makes moving on so painful. i also love the production which makes this sound so uptempo, contrasting the lyrics! idk the entire song just clicks into place for me

3. daylight

this is like a summary of the entire album (and with the reference to the past and especially red, it’s even connecting her entire discography together). it’s like the clean of this album, except this time around it feels more complex - all the subtle references to past mistakes, ghosts, that might not be so easy to wash away. i’ve already mentioned that i love about the album (and this song especially) how it doesn’t gloss over negative experiences but addresses them directly, like looking them in the eye and then saying ‘you don’t have the power to define me’. that’s what this song feels like - it’s not unabashedly celebratory, it’s actually quite melancholic, but also full of real healing, a feeling of peace and reconciliation. and the ‘i once believed love would be black and white / burning red, but it’s golden’.....excuse me.....how dare she

2. cornelia street

god, what a magical song. the kind of episodic buildup that Taylor excels at. the vibrancy of the production matching the vibrancy of the relationship as it develops, revolving around this one place in its multiple stages, and then the repeated, deep seated fear of losing all that. it’s just. ugh. what can i even say. and so so catchy. the “listen..” killed me. just like delicate, the vibe between fear and being drunk on happiness is so so well done.

1. cruel summer

oh yes. and here we have an absolute perfection of a pop song. incredible catchiness. smart, clever lyrics but also that underlying vibe of sadness and anxiety. seriously, the complexity this has?? and then that soaring bridge, the chaotic but beautiful but painful reality of all of it coming together. ‘i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’ idk this song just transcends everything for me friends. it’s like the vibe of out of the woods or maybe even style but the lyrics are even more sharp, they cut a little deeper, literally ‘summer’s a knife’. this is a song she only could’ve written influenced by reputation: there’s happiness but there’s that edge in it too. idk if anything i’m saying makes sense. i love this song so so so much. 

#lover #taylor swift #vanessa talks #lowkey an album review lmao

[bonbonswirl-blog]

Answer

All characters belong to @brueklynn I OWN NOTHING.

I dont even have to say this is not canon. This one is a part of the bad fanfics its very rushed so if you didnt like reading I wont blame you at all XD

The whole studio was in a turmoil

Every single worker was rushing together to join the jammed crowd, all of them Clustering a single certain "chipper" person that all the studio knew and loved, or thats what they thought he was, until the cruel truth had been discovered. What is that truth you ask? Well, it seems that a specific young, organist may had very accidently dropped a clear evidence that reaveled his...

Real identity.

A wall behind him, a hundred of people imorisoning him in a small circle, there was no way of escape. Everyone he met, everyone he talked to, everyone he helped, everyone he friended, everyone, are now locking him up for interrogations with no where to go, nobody is by his side, nobody. The crowd seemed to flow down with every new person joining in every second. Who could have assumed that Johnny, the sweet boy who would light up the air every time he is present, is the same person as the mafia leader who is in the top of every police force dangerous criminals list? It was all unintelligable. Sadly, the truth never lies.

Hundreds of thousands tones of voices erupted around him, all filled with anger, confusion, even dissapointment. Johnny dark motives were invisible to everyone, cause they never imagined it, they could never do. Inside all of them is one question. 'why?' It had no way of an answer, or atleast for now. How could they get answers? Where will they get answers? What will you say as an answer for the reason behind your actions?

Johnny just stood there as still while the magnitude of his panic swept over him. the gravelly tones flowed to his ears like a cold tide. Every word over pronounced, slicing rather than tumbling through the dry air. All these voices were like small parts of a cluster exploding his brain, it was on fire now anyway. His eyes shifting to both sides in a rapid speed. Everyone is a stranger now, everyone is infurated, everyone is a....former....friend? Pretty sure he will be alone from now on, nobody was having the pleasure of watching the horrified recognition of who he was spread over his perfect features. Questions shot faster than gunshots at him, all at once from every single angle that he couldnt even get any kind of a simple word from anyone or anything, the world was erasing around him.

Remorseful, Guilty. That was how he felt at that very moment. He wished for a Time Turner so he could go back, rectify the mistake , the worst of all he had done. However, he cant, Impossible, He has to live with it. Remorse etched at his heart. Guilt gnawed like a worm at the core of an apple, making it impossible for him to put his self bacm together. The questions seems to never end, eaither they are eternal or on a loop, both around his head inside and out. He just wanted it all to stop, to finsh, he wished he could press his hands over his ears not hearing anymore pain. The Only thing he ever heard was from the person in the front row standing infront of him, which was his boss blondie with a sentence of "Johnny we trusted you!..." type. He was mad too, Just like all. The sweat beaded on his forehead and dripped from his chin, free flowing like condensation on a window pane. What could he say? What could he do? How would he explain? He cant, he doesnt even deserve to, its his fault since the start, it will always stay his fault. He analyze every action and speech and writhe in the agony of paths taken, he fret about what others will think of him, well now he knows why he was very concerned. The feelings his friends held for him hadnt gone, right? But Everything had now just been distorted into a close mimic of....'hatred'? He bundled all the hitting panic into his chest. Tension grew in his face and limbs, his mind replaying the last. more shallow. In these moments before his personal hurricane. He could feel it, building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of his stomach. He cannot concentrate on anything else. Being alone while he is starting over and his whole world is crashing down. Everyone stayed shocked when the the hidden veracity was uncovered. And Jacque was No expection, Nobody was in a bigger denial than he was.

How could a truth be so cruel?

His heart felt like it was beating in a tight cage. He was connected to a part of johnny others never feel. His emotions are not perceptible, they are him, and they consumed him.

It was as if johnny heart had suddenly stopped beating and all the blood had run down into his boots.

When he saw two cops appear in the studio.

"No..."

His pupils couldnt be more dilated. How?!? When?!? The only question he knew an answer for was "why". But at that moment he didnt know that..someone called the police on him. He couldnt believe, they are here to get him, to take him, to arrest him. He wanted to jump right out of his skin and join the ether. This is too much, he cant take it anymore. The constricted feelings grew, as if he was strangled by just the air around him. He was terrified of whats going to happen the next second....Watching the rest of the police team emerge from behind, Made him feel the urge to run, escape, hide

This was the moment.

He took a step back to leave, but a wall still blocking his way, without a thought he toke the other road. Pushing people out of the path then running aimlessly. His brain in mental conflicting instructions, he hoped he was Trapped in his own psychosis, a living nightmare for him, tailor made by his own brain to play on her deepest fears. But sadly

You cant escape everytime.

He couldnt dodge the two men who held his trembling arms faster than lightning, immobilizing him painfully to the cold ground, it wasnt colder than the way his heart froze. As Police slapped on the handcuffs He was forcefully lifted up on his feet, With the limb he given he took heavy steps until the outside, he was familiar to these officers though he did not recognize them, it was time to take him to the ward. All the surrounding eyes watching their beloved oragnist led his way out of their lives. Nobody was able to shout for him a last word, maybe they had pushed him a little too hard....They did want to meet him or catch a glance of him before his finale departing, with a rush of footfalls after the officers under the dark sky in a hope for a change of events, those of course were just useless wishes. There was Only One person who dared enough to yell from behind, speaking for all.

"Stop he isnt what you think he is! I-i-i am sure there is some kind of mistake!" That was what jacque tried to persuide those 'harsh' officers, or more likely himself. Then out of expection, johnny turned around. "Tell them johnny! Tell them there is something wrong here!! Tell them this isnt you!!" But when their gazes intertwined like they never used to, the waves of regret hit them like a rock eroded by the sea. johnny had to turn around, sadly in words never wanted to be heard.

"This is the truth jacque.."

Those grey eyes bored into the lyrcist as if trying to convince him he wasnt lying. However, he still found it hard to believe. Johnny had always been so honest and telling, so he wondered why he didnt believe him now, he didnt want to, yet the burnette quivering lower lip begged him to believe, and his heart told him he would never lie to him. Johnny couldnt look into anyone eyes straightly anymore.

 "...johnny?...." "..im sorry..." It was his last whisper, a whisper only the two cops and jacque could hear, before The officer in front opened the door with the 'criminal' dipping his head into the police cruiser, all out of balance before he is lost from view behind windows, apparently he doesnt warrant that. but behind him every curtain twitches. The damp evening disappeared with the slam of the door. Its not a fast run with flashing lights, just a slow ride to be questioned, to be prisoned. The blue and red lights are little more than smudgy illuminations in the slanting blackness.

Stakeout was over.

The mood of the people swirled in an unseen currents beneath the dark surface of their faces. And Jacque has never been in a deeper denial, but the truth is truth. He remained watching the car driving away with his love, Not caring about any kind of loud noises before him. The sadness drained through hum rather than skating over his skin. It travelled through every cell to reach the ground.

Oh, Why the world must be so cruel?

If only, if only This was just a nightmare of sorts, if this was just a bad vision. Tonight he wont only be broken, but shattered into fragments more numerous than the stars. He wanted to beg, plead, get down on hid knees and tell the leaving man that his life here had a meaning. He felt a division of his body and soul. The body wasnt dead, the soul in the other hand, wasnt the same condition. There was something deep feeling in his chest, something inexplicable. The grief surged with every expelled breath, always reaching higher peaks. His gaze fell to the ground. In that moment the sure knowledge that life would go on without him, that time was only stopped for him. there was nothing he could do. With no way to break through his silence a chasm opened between them. This could not be johnny. This could not be his life.

It hurts...but it can heal...He will heal, right? Well.

One this known for sure is that

He wont move on any time soon.

#brueklynn #jacque francis #johnny jonah