#where do my words belong to

[em0-opossum]

sick of people acting like being alone/lonely = being single. ofc you're allowed to feel like that, I'm aro and could not care less that I don't have a partner so I have no idea what it feels like to have that experience, but god just once I'd like to find poetry and art made by people who know how it feels to have no friends and feel lonely no matter how many people are around you and know that you don't belong no matter where you are

#I'm lucky enough to have two good friends right now who i love very much #but that doesn't mean that they understand how i feel or how i have felt #and knowing you're alone in that overbearing loneliness just alienates you more and further perpetuates the feeling #i still miss out on so many opportunities to be friends with people i genuinely want to be friends with so bad because i can't talk to them #i still get so paranoid sometimes and stop replying to anyone because I'm convinced they hate me and there's something wrong with me #sometimes to the point where i avoid teachers who i need to talk to because i am sure that everything i say will be wrong #even someone being nice can feel awful because i think that they just feel bad or are pretending and actually trying to make fun of me #i know nobody actually knows who i am or how i feel because i hide everything to fit in with people and what they need/want #i have never felt like i belong anywhere and trying to explain that to people is so hard #there are times i love being alone but knowing that I've missed out on every regular human experience is so isolating #i just want to be normal and have friends i love and hang out with and talk to and not feel like every word i say could be the end of me #and when i try to find anybody who relates all i get is “oh im alone again :(( being single is awful” #i really do empathize with those people but it is nothing like my experience of loneliness #(tags are just for finding people who relate) #social anxiety #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actuallyavpd #loneliness #chronic loneliness

[estcaligo]

…………..do I even need say anything………….

#speachless #call the ambulance #ma heart #sebek my love #babyboy knows where he belongs #really I can’t even find the right words #i am fine just gimme a minute #no my hands aren’t shaking #what do i do with all ur love #now i can #care for you understand you make you feel loved and wanted #twisted wonderland #sebek zigvolt

[finntheehumaneater]

y’all is it worth it to do one of those holiday drabble thingies?

#The Steddie ones #You know what I mean #i like writing things that are at least 2000 words so it might be hard #I was going to do it today but I hate writing MODERN modern day AUs 😭 #Like no #put my boys in the 90s where they belong

[unexpectedstormy]

Would /you/ ever?

/maybe/

#does /word/ mean something? I don't know #I would do a lot of things #like climb a volcano #or buy a bar of gold and earn how to make gold jewelry and make a bunch and bury it in a chest on the beach just for funsies #or carve viking runes in random rocks to throw off archaeogists #or plant apple trees where they don't belong in my city #chaos energizes me

[8rujaa]

i just saw ur going back to work and not feeling like a person post and im going thru the same thing rn, i have to start working soon but ive been unemployed and basically not interacting with ppl since october... how did u do it?

man i don’t know, i was scared the whole time, it caused me to become dissociated and even more unable to act like a human… it took me a whole year to be able to get out of that. i really don’t know how, i think just being patient with myself, not beating myself up, and trying to find the root of where that fear came from helped a lot. i had deep-dived into self care and wellness, also had downloaded an app called “circles” and joined their support group for a few months and it really helped me feel less alone. my best suggestion to you is to simply be patient and gentle with yourself. if you do a little bit of work everyday to get closer to who you want to be, eventually you’ll get there. this was the mentality i basically had/have:

#i know it’s not easy and i sympathize with you and am sending you a lot of love #if you’re able to find a support system even online…. communal support has always been the key to healing #i’m these moments is when we feel the most alone… and it’s when the support of others is most helpful. #you’ll find that there’s always communities where you belong… finding those safe spaces can be fun #also at first you’re most likely going to deal with a lot of trial and error… remind yourself it’s okay and you’re one step closer to #feeling like you again #i had pushed myself to do things i loved more and more everyday and then one random tuesday i woke up feeling complete… #if you get lost in things you love eventually you will feel fuller :•) #im not the best at giving advice and i’m not sure if my words will be helpful but if it means anything; i’m rooting for you #and i hope you feel like a person again soon 🫂 #inbox

[a-wins-a-win]

ivy robinson is the prettiest boy and I mean that unironically in a gendered way

#what if I told you he was a gay trans man? what then? #she isn’t aware of it in most universes but I just. i know it in my soul #like I am fully aware that so much of Ivy’s story in inextricably related to her female-ness & her girl-ness by extension #(sex & gender as different concepts from where we stand. within the canon they're pretty interlinked but you get me) #and absolutely i don't mean to malign or detract from or ignore the significance of that within the bapo canon - not at all #and obviously ivy is an interesting and compelling and complex character in the way she exists in canon as a cis girl! #but like. just for fun. he is transmasc to me #sometimes he knows/realises this. sometimes he doesn't. #bare a pop opera #mouse talks bapo #Ivy Robinson #transmasc ivy robinson #i actually have many thoughts on this that may warrant an Actual Post but for now im rambling in the tags #for context I was thinking about bapo at work (as I am prone to do) and was struck by the concept of Ivy being right about her relationship #with/attraction to Jason being something more special (for lack of a better word) - on a deeply subconscious level she feels as though she #*belongs* with a boy Like Jason (read; a gay man) because on this subconscious level she knows she too is a gay man #[ask me to elaborate on the femaleness vs girlness aspect of it as it relates to Ivy and I will btw! I think it’s an interesting concept]

[tekatonic]

guys you're actually so insane for this

this isn't shit that happens

like, what, i'm legit stunned !

#y'all i can't express how much i'm... i don't know how to word it even #this is just unbelievable #that you guys even care #i mean i WANTED people to care but... #it doesn't feel like... i don't know. it feels unreal that you do. #that you like this stuff my mind produced #that i'm a person that is accepted as “good” in any kind of community #that there's people like-minded that want me around. that enjoy and get thoughts from things that i have made #like !!! that's amazing ! #for the longest time i've felt like an outsider #i always wanted to be part of something #but i never really belonged #it's awesome to be accepted #i guess weirdos should go to the places where people are just as insane as them over the things they're weirdos about #ah rambling aside... sorry i'm just emotional from some stuff i just watched #rambling aside. thank you all for the interest !!! it means a lot ! #off topic teka talk

[corvidous]

MOAR GNOLLS

Fantasy ones this time, for Frostgrave (NPC enemies or player warband) or Dragon Rampant (Berserker Infantry for my dwarves to throw heedlessly into the fray, plus a 5 gnoll unit of Scouts, by the time all is said and done)

It turns out painting their tiny tiny teeth is REALLY quite difficult and it was a problem on this batch

"What have you got?" "A GNOIFE!" "GNO!!!"

Big Boy Big Sword

Standard Archer lad.

This guy has an axe strapped to his belt, allowing him to play both Archer (Bow) and Ranger (Bow+Hand Weapon) in Frostgrave as the need arises

#miniatures #Gnolls #Frostgrave #Dragon Rampant #I have been absolutely torturing my roommates by sticking “gn-” sounds in words where they do not belong

[milkyspine]

#mine #writers of tumblr #poetry #spilled ink #writing #okay to rb #poem #spilled words #tw: trauma #tw: suicide #i've been gone for a while #from everywhere because i just constantly feel like i don't belong anywhere #also because everything i wrote was just so subpar and flat #then my dad moved back to where i live and well... #it all just built up inside me and i couldn't take it #tbh i don't even know what i'm doing or why i'm doing it #i'm still here and maybe that's not nothing when i've tried so hard to die but i just don't feel like i'm all here anymore #sorry if this is still awful writing #i hope you've been well and that this new year is infinitely better than the last #i'm glad you're here #i hope you stick around a little longer

[blujayonthewing]

meraki and hiraeth are really fucking good names for elyss actually and I'm really mad about it

#I saw a post earlier (I think I reblogged it?) about hiraeth #and how it's not just the concept of longing for a home you've never been to in the abstract but how it specifically applies to the welsh #and anyway it's been nagging in my head all day that like. that's a character name. #I can't place it. miraki hiraeth. something meraki hiraeth. whose blorbo is that #[searches notes] OH MINE. THAT'S RIGHT. FUCK #for context we found a book that turned out to be a chronicle of her life as written by her absentee genie dad #who it turns out has been just fucking.... Watching her her whole life without ever contacting her #and the foreward is like 'this is the story of elyss miraki hiraeth--' #'who may be known as elyss sibbili but as my child she will bear my name and one I believe she has earned 😌' #which! hey man! FUCK you! my father's name is Carric Sibbili and you are NOTHING to me and you have NO rights to my deeds!! #anyway the audacity of my DM to name this genie-- and by extension elyss-- #after the concept of yearning for a place where you belong but that you've never been to and may not even exist?? HELLO #god. GOD. anyway I've only just now learned that meraki is another word that ends up on 'untranslatable words' listicles #and apparently means doing something with soul creativity and love #VERY GOOD NAMES FOR HER. SLOT THEM INTO THE LINEUP IF SHE WAS A GNOME YA DIG?? BUT THEY GOT SLIME ON EM #my OCs #elyss

[roseworth]

ahhh okay i said queer as an answer but i didn't mean it passive aggressively i promise, i just thought you wanted an honest answer and that's what i say (unless i'm making fun of corporate pride in which case i say a random string of letters, none of which are accurate)

omg i didnt mean that everyone was being passive aggressive dw <3 <3 like 99% of people reblogging it saying queer meant it as an actual answer and that is so valid, i was asking for an answer and you gave it hfdskfhdafk but like the 1% of people that were rude about it pissed me off </3

#i didnt mean for it to breach containment and now theres discourse in my notes #im going to kill someone #also some people are using that post to assume i hate the word queer ???? #and idk where they got that from but its pissing me off #someone saw my tags and literally dmed me saying #'why precisely did you have to have an internal battle over whether queer and questioning people belong in the acronym?' #and then i was like 'ok thats not what i meant at all' then they kept trying to fight with me about it #anyways. the point is im not mad at everyone doing it im just annoyed by a few people being annoying #i also made that post complaining right after i had gotten out of the car after driving for 4 and a half hours #so i was a little irritable #but im less annoyed about it now

[pinkseas]

girl who thinks about xiaolumi too much literally while in the middle of writing abt them and then starts crying a little bit

#LISTENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. listennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. #aly.genshin #okay im jsut. gonna like say so many words #idk i had this Very Skewed Perception for a Very Long Time #that there was a certain kind of love and closeness only achievable through pain. #that you'd have to yank someones ribcage open and carve yourself out a place in their heart to really belong there #that was my first real lasting impression of true love. that for such intense trust and care to exist there had to be equal pain #for a while i thought All love was like that. and then the more i grew up the more i learned just how wrong i was #but even when i got to a point where id learned SO much and was doing SO much better #i genuinely didnt think that vulnerability could exist without pain #and i dont think that was something i thought about everyone. i think i believed that for Other People it wouldnt necessarily have to hurt #but for me? if i wanted to really actually be open and honest with someone? if i wanted to trust them wholly? #they'd have to tear me open and sew a piece of themselves right there in my chest and never let the wound close #that was what closeness meant. that was what trust meant. #and id rather never achieve true trust that led to that closeness than let someone do that to me again. #and then i met ash and craig and i started to believe maybe it didnt have to hurt. maybe you COULD be wholly vulnerable without things like #manipulation and pain and abuse and whatnot #but i still hadnt reached that point. still HAVENT reached that point. #and even though i found myself believing it was maybe possible. the belief wasnt wholly there? #i had no examples i couldnt think of anything or anyone who really truly loved each other and had such a deep intimate level of trust- #-without having to hurt each other to cause it #and then !!!!!!!!!!! those two. and all those fucking questlines and all the little details ingame #two people who've been left behind in one way or another and struggle to open themselves up to or really trust anyone else #SO used to working on their own SO used to being alone no one left to rely on no one left to let in. the entire world kept at arms length #but with each other !!!!!!!!! there's so much CARE #she falls and he catches her and thats it! shes saved. shes fine. #but he still holds on. he supports her as she catches her breath and really recovers. #keeps a hold on her hand and her waist and does the little squeeze thing before letting go. silent reassurance. silent faith. #and in the chasm there's just. she cares so MUCH about him she gets so worried !!!!!! #HELP I HIT A TAG LIMIT I TYPED SO MUCH MORE AND ITS JUST. GONE. reblogging this to continue hold on

[vvanessaives]

i think the Thing that makes vhanya's tragedy so..tragic to me is her youth. but not in a 'omg dying young, she had so much to live :(' which is. well rip to her. but more like every single mistake she does is in a way..normal. like mistakes you do when you're a teen and are sooo dumb but make you learn and they shouldn't weight too much or more like. they shouldn't have you pay a too expensive price. while vhanya's mistakes aren't looked at with kindness, there's no Understanding. she walks around with her rage and tears like she's screaming "i'm still learning!! don't i deserve some kindness?" and instead of a "it's okay that you fucked up, we can fix this" it's mistakes that shape forever her future without any way to rewind and idk it gets me </3

#rena.txt #like does she fuck up? YEA. the betrayal and the mistakes that come from a first love and shit and stuff. like yea she takes.. questionable #choices and her behaviour isn't the best at times but lord doesn't she deserve a bit of understanding? she's angry and angry and ANGRY at #her mother that (in her opinion) looks down on her and doesn't love her and probably vhanya thinks ari considers her as her greatest #disappointment. and that's when the rage takes control and she screams and threatens and all of that shit but then sadness settles and #she's falling down and asking her mother to please forgive her. like SHE'S LEARNING SHE MAKES STUPID SHIT. WELL YEA WHO HASN'T DONE STUPID #SHIT AS A TEEN!! and then belonging. god she only ever wanted to belong somewhere but she always ended up being estranged? not a black not #a green not her mother's side not her family. she tries to find her place in a world where she feels like isn't made for her. which is why #when aemond dies </3 she's just like. i thought i found a place but to follow this idea i lost everything else and now that i lost that #Only one thing there's nothing else to live for. as if ari wouldnt welcome back her daughter after whatever stupid shit she would do GIRL!! #AND LIKE THE IDEA ITSELF that she convinced herself that was her Place finally. a first love. dumb and stupid the kind of probably doesn't #last but you remember it and she's like THAT'S EVERYTHING i will ever have in life and now that is gone it makes no sense to be alive. #there's only emptiness. brrr IDK I'M LOSING IT. SHE'S DUMB BUT ALSO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE. ME @ ME: U CATCH MY DRIFT #in the words of my bestest bestie moravia who wrote about alienation in a way that spoke to me through my whole teen years: 'desire for #normality; a longing to adapt to some recognized and general rule; a wish to be like everyone else from the moment that being different #meant being guilty.' FUCKING DEAD ON THIS SUNDAY MORNING

[skeletalheartattack]

I FEEL YOU ON THE TORNADO FEAR THO I USED TO BE SO SCARED OF THEM AS A KID THAT THE FAINTEST GUST OF WIND WOULD MAKE ME CRY LMAO 💀💀💀

YEAH LEGIT IT SUCKED SO BAD!!!!!! legit honestly i think it's so funny now cause like, where i live none of that shit happens here or even comes close to reaching us. and even then my ass was still scared to tears

#ask #raidendotcom #i mean wed still do tornado warnings anyway and go into our basement. #which sucked most for me cause like. fears aside. id put all my prized belongings in plastic bags and stuff #and would take everything i feared of losing down into the basement with me #then when itd be all over id be like ''whelp! time to lug all this stuff back upstairs!! :)'' #like id go to the extent of unplugging my n64 and gamecube and would bring them into the basement #but yeah my ass was Scared as fuck #like it got to the point where it was basically happening every night #tornadoes? steve urkel doll episode of family matters? rats? hurricanes? nukes? cry and puke. #like my parents would usually be like ''look man if this keeps happening well. youre gonna have to go to the hospital'' #it never reached that point though #i think it got to the point where i was playing Pokemon Stadium 2 in the living room #and like a screen mentioned the word ''Die'' in reference to a singular dice cube. and i just started fucking bawling #intrusive thoughts were a bitch around that age #once almost started crying at my friends house one time because i imagined something bad happening to my DSi #granted atleast i think i was alone in the room when it happened. #i think thats the same set of time where i spent the night at that friends house for like 5 days in a row #which i think was also when he had his birthday. so like when the 5 other kids left. i just stayed #anyway yeah i was not okay #thank you for the ask raiden :) sorry we were scared of tornadoes

[orcelito]

Honestly hate how hard it is to start writing again when you've gone too long without it. Like for fuck's sake man Why's shit gotta be like this

#speculation nation #daydreaming of the early discacc days when i wrote 70k words in 3 weeks. those were the days... #im just... so tired and wrung out and everything is so fucking hard #im barely even Doing anything besides working. my apartment is in horrible shape rn. #what is it about grief that makes life so hard to live man. you lose a cornerstone to your life and suddenly everything is in shambles #and i know he wouldnt have wanted this for me. for me to be Barely functioning bc my brain has been so bad in response #im alive im going to work im feeding myself and showering every day #but i havent been doing the dishes i havent taken out the trash theres Stuff all over my floors and cat messes i havent cleaned #and i dont have the energy for any of it. i get home i eat and then i climb into bed. rinse and repeat. #im just... tired. im so very tired. #i keep wanting to turn to my hobbies to cope with things but it's so fucking hard to stick to #constantly oscillating between manic moods where i think i can finally start moving on (but i dont have the focus to do writing) #and depressive moods where Good Fuckin Luck doing anything besides laying in bed #if you couldnt tell im in the second boat right now. in bed as we speak. and so i shall remain until it's time to go to work #at least ive been going to the woods almost every chance i get. it hasnt given me the power to write but it's been good for me i think #get out of the apartment. experience nature. pick up a snail. you know how it goes. #i kinda feel bad for entering a fandom and trying to dig out a place for myself and Kind Of succeeding #i have a good handful of followers. people who wanna see more of my analysis and fanfic #but i havent posted anything significant in like a month bc i have belonged to the void. all month. #losing family will do that to a person i guess. doesnt stop me from being frustrated though. #negative/

[astro-b-o-y-d]

question, how is it less problematic to like camp camp with a whole cult episode with a plethora of holocaust allegories but liking rwby from the same company is bad? coco (character) is based on the runway persona for fashion, not the actual person, and purposefully represents none of the ties to her history. im not sure if that was a joking bad faith comment but adding in something without malicious intent made the rest of your examples also seem less serious by connection

I mean this in the nicest way, I promise. But you must be new if you think I haven't been calling that garbage, ESPECIALLY that episode in particular, out from day one.

#Asks #Anonymous #Like do not worry; I will HAPPILY call out that bullshit and have done so since it aired #It's gross; it's antisemetic #And tbh as much as I enjoyed CC outside of that; I can't bring myself to support it financially anymore even if I WASN'T angry at RT #Not after what Geordan came out and said about his treatment at RT in regards to propping CC up #While basically stripping his passion project for parts #At MOST I might RP some of the characters and revisit episodes on a Legitimate Viewing Site #So that's a very fair question actually #But yeah no; if I were to gut CC for parts; all the stuff with D/lph is being left in the dust where it belongs #Also I realized I got your wording mixed up; I've been calling out that Dolph episode since day one #That's my fault; I misread