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#whenever i see that its like yes !!! casual femininity !!!! love to see it !!!
ghostcowboyy · 3 years
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i’m going be honest every time i see a guy causally in a dress i just become more of a homosexual
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velvetcloxds · 3 years
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CURVES| D.H.
Pairing: Derek x fem!Reader
Word count: 1885 words
Warning: discussing body image, negative opinion of body, body comparison
Summary: Reader and Derek have been friends for years. Derek finds her in her kitchen worrying over having to go swimming with Lydia and reader explains her struggle with her body image.
“I don’t know.” I say, holding my books tighter against my chest as I follow Lydia to the bleachers. She frowns.
“Please,” She begs, grabbing my arms and pulling me to a stop. “It’s been forever since we did anything together, just the girls,” She explains and looks back to where Jackson and the other lacrosse players are walking out of the school building. “I need a night without lacrosse talk.” She says and I smile lightly at her little eyes roll, but frown again when she looks back at me for a reply.
“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” I ask and she nods with a satisfied smile and I sigh loudly. “Can I convince you to do anything else?” She shakes her head quickly.
“Shopping and sunbathing, Y/n. It’s all we need, “ She says, linking our arms as we start walking again. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning and we’ll go get some new bikini’s before going to the lake house,” She informs me and nods at Jackson who is waving her over to the bench. “Duty calls. Stop pouting it’s going to be fun.” She tells me and boops my nose before scurrying away towards Jackson and I shake my head with a smile as I watch her leave. I stay still for a while, making sure she reaches him without being hassled by anyone and then turn to leave, already dreading the weekend ahead, even though it’s quite literally just begun.
I fall into step quite quickly, only pausing to put my books into my bag before walking home. My parents are working late again, so I have the house for myself for a couple of hours, but if history has taught me anything, it’s that Derek Hale tends to show up unplanned and unfed, whenever he wants. Not that I mind, it’s always been like that and only more so since the fire.
I lock the door behind me, throwing my bag onto the couch and heading to the kitchen. I shake my head when I see Derek’s car parked in the backyard, just like I thought it would be and grab the pizza bites out of the freezer. The stairs creek behind me as the microwave starts doing its thing and I throw the empty box away.
“How did you get in here?” I ask, turning around just as he takes a seat at the table. “The door was locked.” I add with an amused smile as he stares up at me.
“But your window wasn’t.” He says and smirks happily. I shake my head as I slip onto the counter.
“Derek, my bedroom is a mess.” I say, only now remembering that I was too lazy to clean it up before going to school. Derek nods his head quickly, brows raised for effect.
“Hell yeah, it is,” He says and shrugs. “Don’t freak out, you know I don’t mind,” He adds sweetly and I smile over at him before focusing my attention on my folded legs, fiddling with my fingers as the sound of the microwave fills the room. I hear him sigh softly, moving in his chair. “What’s up?” He asks and I shrug.
“Nothing.” I reply too quickly and he scoffs.
“Bullshit,” I look up at him surprised. “I can literally smell that you’re not okay,” He informs me and I raise my brow at him in confusion. He rolls his eyes. “Chemo signals, Y/n. Now tell me what’s going on?” I think it over for a moment before shaking my head with a sigh.
“You wouldn’t understand.” I say and the alarm from the microwave pings to tell me it’s done and I use that as a momentary distraction, jumping down and getting it, placing it down in front of him.
“On account of the fact that I’m not of the feminine variety or no longer of the teenage variety?” He asks, lightly grabbing my wrist to stop me from leaving. I shrug again and he nods. “Ahh, both.” He uses his foot to push back a chair and then smiles as I rip my arm away from him. “Sit. And talk.” He orders and I roll my eyes as I take a seat next to him, watching as he grabs a pizza bite from the plate.
“You’ll think it’s stupid.”
“Most things are,” He shrugs. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be here for you anyway.” I let out a loud breath, reaching for a pizza bite, but pulling my hand back slowly, he watches the gesture carefully, raising a brow at me.
“You know Lydia, right?” I ask and he thinks it over before nodding, chewing slowly as he waits for more information. “Would you say that she is, I don’t know, good looking?” I ask and he leans back in his chair with a shrug.
“I guess.”
“Exactly,” I almost shout and he flinches, furrowing his brows as I settle back down in my chair. “Exactly.” I repeat, calmer this time. “She’s very pretty and her hair is silky and she’s in perfect shape, like the perfect possible shape. One could go as far as to say that she’s like the perfect example of what we’re expected to look like.”
“We, being all girls?” He asks and I nod, leaning onto the table with my elbows.
“Yes.” I look down at the table. “Except that not everyone does look like that, perfect,” I say and frown. “Some of us aren’t as one would say, skinny.” I clarify and look up to find him smiling lightly, leaning onto the table as well, he looks me over slowly.
“I really hope this isn’t you hating on yourself right now, because you’re literally ridiculously beautiful and I’d be damned if you’ve somehow convinced yourself otherwise.” He says in an effortlessly smooth tone that would usually prompt me to blush, but I roll my eyes instead.
“Okay, you saying that doesn’t count.” I say, taking a pizza bite and munching on it. He scoffs.
“Why not?” I laugh softly.
“You’re like family, Derek. There’s some sort of inclined niceness that goes with it, you have to say shit like that. It’s like a mom telling you that your dress is nice or my brother telling me my hair doesn’t look horrible. It doesn’t count.” He raises a brow, sitting back quickly, his face disgusted as he looks at me.
“Okay, first of all, I’m not like a brother and please don’t put me in a position to act as such because then the way I look at you would be rather questionable,” He says, looking over at me seriously to make sure I get what he means, and I bite my lip to hide a smile forming. “And secondly…” He looks me over again, eyes darker as he smiles at me. “When I called you beautiful, I was also implying how crazy hot you are, which doesn’t sound like a compliment, but bloody hell you’re in no position to think you’re ugly.” He ends and despite myself, I feel my cheeks warming up. I swallow slowly as I look back to the table, not sure what to say until his hand numbly takes hold of mine on the table. “Not everyone looks the same, doesn’t mean that you’re ugly by default, it just means you have a different form of beauty.” He tells me, tone softer this time.
“You really think that?” I ask, fingers folding around his own around his own. He smiles.
“Of course, I do.” He says and tilts his head to get my attention. “Do you know me to say something just because I know that it’s what you want to hear?” I laugh lightly as I shake my head and his smile grows as a result. “Exactly. Now, don’t let me ever hear you talking down on yourself again, you’re much more than just your body. Doesn’t matter what size or shape you’re in, I’ll always think you’re pretty bloody brilliant. “
“Thank you,” I reply softly and gently pull my hand away from his when I realize that I haven’t let go yet. “You want something to drink?” I ask, standing up from the chair awkwardly, he laughs lightly while he nods and I pretend not to notice as I walk over to the fridge. It’s silent for a second and the plate scuffs against the table as he eats another few pizza bites.
“I mean it, you know,” He says, confusing me as I place our glasses down on the table. “You might be my default family, but I do not see you as my sister,” He clarifies and I clearly am not doing a good job of hiding my shock or the fact that I obviously don’t see him as a brother either. He laughs. “You really think that I come here everyday for the pizza bites?” He asks and I shrug.
“We do buy the good brand.” I say, mockingly and he rolls his eyes, far from serious or annoyed.
“You do. But I come here for you,” He announces like it’s nothing and my heart does a full-on backflip because holy shit, this man can’t possibly be serious. He smiles. “I heard that.” He says and looks at my chest when the embarrassment makes my heart beat even faster, he smiles likes he’s achieved something great and then gets up from his chair, picking up the empty plate as he does. I frown.
“Wait does this mean that…”
“Oh, I’ve been very much aware of our shared attraction for quite some time,” He says and my mouth all but falls open as I stare at him, a look he completely ignores while he puts the plate in the sink. “Speaking of, are you free tomorrow?” He asks me casually and I shake my head because clearly words will fail me. He nods. “Next weekend then, you can wear that red dress you hide in the back of your closet, the one that shows your curves,” He smiles when I stare at him blankly. “I really do love your curves, Y/n.” He informs me as he starts heading to the door, making me stand up as well.
“Where are you going?”
“Your mom is on her way home,” He informs me and shrugs. “And truth be told, I think I might send you into shock if I stay any longer.” He explains and once again steals a glance at my chest where even I can hear my heart nearly exploding.
“You didn’t drink your juice.” I say and he folds his arms in front of him, smirking with a raised brow.
“I think you need it more than I do. Cool down and all that.” He says and I gasp.
“Derek Hale,” I say, walking towards him. “I did not peg you as the type of guy who just shamelessly flirts with his best friend.” I say, stilling in front of him. He smiles.
“I think there’s a lot of things you might not know about me, Y/n.” He says and looks over at the door when my mom pulls into the driveway. He leans forward slightly, kissing the top of my head sweetly, completely contrasting his words before pulling away. “I think this is going to be fun.”
Hi there, more of my work can be found on Wattpad under @mjoubert. Mxx.
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handsmotif · 3 years
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The Queercoding of Pinky and the Brain
This originally was just me infodumping to my friends on discord, but I decided it might be interesting to some people on here, so I polished it up and made it an actual essay lmao
To start, we’re going to break this into 2 sections -- the relationship between the mice, and Pinky’s relationship with gender, because queercoding doesn’t just mean gay!
For a 90′s show, Pinky and the Brain (and its mother show, Animaniacs) was very progressive for its time! But there were still lots of things that they couldn’t slip by censors, and thus, that’s where we have to read between the lines. And that is something I wanted to clarify here before we dive in, the actual meaning of queercoding. It’s NOT the same as queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when the people producing certain media purposefully dangle the possibility of queer representation to lure in audiences (most prominent examples are BBC Sherlock, Riverdale, and Supernatural I GUESS? who knows abt that last one anymore), but never follow through, purely for profit. Queercoding is when media producers WANT to write in queer representation, but can’t, usually because the censors won’t let them. So, they must resort to subtext. (example: the policemen from Gravity Falls) It could also be unintentional, simply assigning certain characteristics associated with the LGBT community to characters. (example: Bugs Bunny, many Disney villains) Either way, it heavily relies on the audience picking up subtext, but whether it’s malicious or not varies, depending on the media. Bugs Bunny is an example of positive accidental queercoding, while a lot of Disney villains are negative examples.
Now, to actually discuss the gay little mice! Pinky and the Brain, whether it be intentional or not (based off comments from Maurice LaMarche, Rob Paulsen, and Tom Ruegger, signs strongly point to intentional, but it’s never been explicitly confirmed), is an example of positive queercoding.
There are many moments that I could pick out to discuss here, but we’ll start with some VERY on the nose gay metaphors. 
Remember Romy? If you don’t, that’s their actual biological son! Romy came about due to a cloning accident, where their DNA got combined and spat him out. 
There’s SO many things I could say about Romy. Every appearance he makes has an overarching gay metaphor as the plot. His first appearance in the episode Brinky (yeah it’s literally titled their ship name), it deals with his dads (WHICH I ALSO WANT TO POINT OUT, he DOES call them both dad, and they do both call him their son) disapproving of the fact that he wants to leave home and not follow in their footsteps of taking over the world. Brain even goes as far as disowning him whenever he tells him, which is certainly something a lot of queer people can unfortunately relate to. Also seen a lot in this episode is Pinky and Brain arguing even more than a married couple than usual, which pushes Romy away even further. Later, when Romy eventually does leave, and Brain starts to regret chasing him away, he tries desperately to reach out to him, but Romy doesn’t want anything to do with him. They end up tracking him down to an apartment building, where Romy is now living with his human girlfriend. When questioned about their relationship, the girlfriend, named Bunny, goes off on a tangent about how people shouldn’t judge others based on labels or relationships (hello?), and that Brain needs to be more tolerant. Brain apologizes and Romy forgives him. Happy ending.
Romy’s only other appearance is in the comics. Essentially, the plot of this one is that Brain wants to become the president of the local high school’s PTA, but he needs Romy’s help to make it look like he has a normal home life. He also enlists the help of Billie, the obligatory Woman introduced to make sure Brain doesn’t look as gay as he actually is, that he has a crush on. She pretends to be his girlfriend, and Pinky pretends to be Romy’s uncle, while they make up the story that Romy’s actual mother was lost at sea. Because if the organization found out that Brain has a son with a MAN??? THINK of the controversy! Anyway, the plan works, and Brain actually manages to get elected as president. Throughout this though, Pinky gets WEIRDLY jealous that Brain keeps brushing him aside for Billie. To the point where during Brain’s inauguration, Pinky actually dresses up as the wife/mother lost at sea and storms into the room.
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[ID: Comic panels of Pinky, Brain, and Romy on stage at the inauguration ceremony. Pinky busts into room wearing drag, saying, “Yoo hoo! I’m back from years lost at sea to be with my son and ungrateful husband! Narf!” He then hugs Romy, while glaring at Brain. He goes on to say, “I’ll stand by your side, even though you left me behind!” The people in the audience begin to question this, saying, “Oh great fuzzy bangs!”, “What’d she say?!”, “He deserted her to be with that other woman!”, “What kind of monster is he?!”. Brain then rips off Pinky’s wig and says, “This isn’t my wife! This isn’t even a woman! It’s my roommate, Pinky.” Pinky replies, “Well, yes... But Romy really is my son! Poit!” And Brain responds, “N-Nonsense! He’s my son!” More people in the audience angrily speak up, saying, “What’s that?”, “He lives with a guy who likes to dress up in women’s clothing and the both claim to be that kid’s father!”, “Grumble! Mutter!” /END ID]
Needless to say, this doesn’t end well for them. What we can conclude from this is that homophobia exists in the Pinky and the Brain universe, and our characters are directly affected by it.
Moving on, And-There-Was-Only-One-Bed is a pretty common occurrence with these two. Their cage is big, they have plenty of room for two beds, but? They choose to sleep together? Even in some times where this has been inconsistent and they DO have separate beds, they’re always RIGHT next to each other. (what if we put our minecraft beds together ❤😳)
I would like to mention the episode, You’ll Never Eat Food Pellets In This Town Again! This episode is interesting to say the least. Deals with a lot of the meta of the show. Anyway. In this episode, Brain has a nightmare that he’s in a loveless marriage with Billie. You know, the woman he’s supposed to have a crush on. In the end, he wakes up from the nightmare in the same bed as Pinky.
Speaking of female love interests, Pinky is seen having multiple relationships with characters of different species. Any time this is brought up by Brain, Pinky counters with Brain being too intolerant. An honorable mention with this is in Wakko’s Wish, when Pinky is with Pharfignewton, and Brain’s constant pestering about their relationship could be read as jealousy. Pinky needs a mousy date, after all!
Something else I would like to mention is in one episode (I forget what it’s called, I’ll try to look it up later and edit this), Brain is applying for a job. The employer asks Brain if he’s married, and Brain hesitates before saying he “has a roommate,” but that he’s occupied with his own things, which then cuts to a shot of Pinky applying lipstick.
Leading into part two of this essay, Pinky’s relationship with gender! Pinky has always been very gender nonconforming, and loves to wear dresses, do his makeup, and make himself look pretty. For the most part, this is played pretty straight, and not as a gag, like a lot of shows tend to do! It’s just a casual fact about him that he likes to present femininely sometimes.
This does play into their taking over the world plans pretty often, where Pinky wears drag, usually either to sneak into somewhere. Like in one of their earliest appearances on Animaniacs, Noah’s Lark, where they pose as a couple to board Noah’s, and I quote, “love boat.” After boarding, Noah says to himself, “Who am I to judge?” Okay. Yeah. Alright. Anyway.
I actually had less to say on this than I thought I did, but I wanted to make sure to emphasize that Pinky at the very least is coded as being Not Quite Cis, and that he’s played a key part in helping a lot of people watching the show figure out that they’re also Not Quite Cis. 
Wrapping this up because I’m hungry, but I want to throw in some more honorable mentions that I really do not see any type of cishet explanations for:
They literally go on a romantic date at a very fancy restaurant in Brain’s Night Off. This is played extremely casually, and the only remark from anyone that they receive is that they are “much smaller than the usual clients.”
Pinky, on at least one occasion, daydreams about him and Brain being a married couple, and wanting to be a housewife (the original malewife ❤)
There’s an issue in the comics where Pinky has a crush on another male mouse, and when Brain gets annoyed, Pinky reassures him that he thinks Brain is cute and quite the catch too
Brain attempting to kiss Pinky in the reboot??????
Brain actually did conquer the world once in the Halloween special, because Pinky made a deal with the devil for it, and thus Pinky got sent to hell! Brain actually went to hell and gave up the world to bring him back
Brain was extremely close to conquering the world once more in the Christmas special, but after reading what Pinky’s feelings for him were (nothing romantic, just Pinky basically just praising Brain for being so hardworking and an amazing mouse, and lamenting that he never gets anything for it), he gets so emotional that he sabotages himself and wishes everyone a Merry Christmas instead
TLDR; these mice are very queer and need therapy, and are probably the most heavily queercoded characters that I can think of in children’s media.
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gallys-wife · 2 years
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can you maybe do a tmr characters help y/n with dysphoria ? im havin a bad day and theres literally no trans y/n content out there 🙁 if not thats totally fine i get its not everyones thing !!!!
Maze Runner Characters Helping You With Gender Dysphoria
I would love to do this one, and it is certainly my thing seeing as I am nonbinary! I tried to make this as inclusive of all trans people as possible because you didn't specify trans woman/man/nonbinary.
Also sorry this is so late, I put it in my drafts and forgot about it 💀
~~
Alby
Makes a point to refer to you by your preferred pronouns/name at every opportunity but somehow manages to make it sound natural/not forced or patronizing.
(Side note, this man will wreck anyone who purposefully deadnames/mispronouns you.)
Aris
Gets you your favorite foods and offers to read you allowed your favorite book
Anything to get your mind off it
Ben
Listens to you vent about it, visibly interested and asking questions so he can better understand and help you feel more comfortable
Brenda
Helping you with styling hair and doing your makeup.
If you're trans masc the two of you raid Jorge's closet and try on his clothes (she turns around every time you change, even if you don't ask her to, just to make you more comfortable) and if you're trans fem she the two of you raid her closet instead.
Clint
Tries to be super subtle about it, casually giving you gender-affirming compliments.
“You’re looking exceptionally beautiful/handsome/preferred today”
“That shirt looks very feminine/masculine/preferred on you”
Frypan
Notices immediately but doesn’t comment on it unless you mention it first. Reassures you that you’re passing whenever you start to get doubts.
Offers to do all of your favorite things with you to get your mind off it.
Gally
Gives you some of his clothes to wear so they’re extra baggy/less form-fitting.
Basically babies you and makes sure you’re comfortable and don’t need to lift a finger to do anything all day.
Harriet
Incredibly sympathetic, giving you back rubs and trying to offer up comforting words like:
“I’m sorry this is happening, angel.” “That sounds awful.”
Jeff
Suggests distractions like playing card games or organizing the stocks in the med shack with him.
Doesn’t go very far from you all day.
Minho
Literally threatens anyone who misgenders you or deadnames you, whether they said it on purpose or on accident.
Hours of nonstop talking with you to keep your mind off of it.
Newt
Newt has a whole system. He gets Frypan to make your favorites, spends all day doing your favorite relaxing activities, and is incredibly respectful and understanding if you don’t want to be held/touched during this time.
Teresa
Listens all the way through you telling you how you’re feeling before asking if she can hug you. If you say yes, she holds you gently and kisses the top of your head before telling you your feelings are valid and that she loves you.
Suggests just going back to bed and spending the day together lounging in bed, relaxing.
Thomas
Never tries and tells you you’re wrong about your feelings, instead saying things that reassure you like if you’re transmasc but feel like you’re not looking masculine today he’ll say, “well, you’ll always be one of the boys to me” or if you guys are together “you’re still my boyfriend, no matter what you look like.”
Sonya
Readily avoids gender-specific compliments, instead saying things like “You’re such good company” and “you’re so smart”, basically spends all day praising you for every little thing and making you feel good about yourself.
Winston
Asks a bunch of questions about being trans, and about your gender dysphoria so he can better understand how you’re feeling and how being trans affects you then brainstorms the best ways to make you as comfortable while you’re feeling dysphoric, from sharing his clothes (or getting Teresa to share her clothes) or his blankets, to getting you out of your day’s work so you don’t have to be around all the others while feeling dysphoric.
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ji-yaaan · 4 years
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𝓗𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓣𝓲𝓶𝓮~
With: Leona, Sebek, Jade, Floyd, Vil, Kalim
Warning: So I know that what I made is really annoying for others... so I'd like to warn you that at the beginning, you will see me ramble about the character's hands. If you want to skip to the hc, go to where the 🤝 emoji is. ^~^
Note:Also, I’d like to address that I do not know how to make Headcanons for the life of me.... So this is just me making a shameless hc, with my shameless hand addiction, fueling my shamelessness, as I shamefully self insert myself in these things I wrote... Forgive me for my shamelessness.... Also, pardon me for my annoying commentary and emojis. I simply do not know how to control my excitement and my feelings so😔👊
AND YES! I THINK THIS IS A CRACK HC LOL!
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LEONA KINGSCHOLAR:
-I'd like to break the silence by saying... LEONA'S HANDS ARE BIG AND MUSCULAR! Leona works out in magift so it's a given that he'd have scrumptious big hands😳😳😳
-Leona's hands are chonky😳 he has long fingers that will surely make yours look very small! Also look at Leona's nails! Its ok looking for me, but it's pretty neat so👌👌👌👌
-Leona's got this rough and rugged look, so I think his hands will probably be kinda rough, BUT NOT THE CRUSTY ROUGH! it's more of the manly rough. A firm hold with his loaded wrist😏
Ok curious what will happen if you hold hands? I gotchu fam:🤝
-Imagine if the both of you were napping and you suddenly intertwined you fingers with his. Leona is a sleepy boi, BUT MAN! HE IS AWARE! Lion boi felt ur hands creeping unto his, but he'll pretend he didn't know that😏
-Leona LOVES holding hands! Only at private tho. This cat boy will never admit to that, but keep holding his hands and look at his reaction. He. Won't. Shrug. You. Off.😏😏👊
-Also when you play and fidget with leona's hands when you're doing premarital hand holding which is illegal btw he loves it when he looks at you spaced out fumbling your fingers with his.
-Leona has big hands, so he'll definitely make yours look wayyyyy smaller. AND LION BOI FINDS THIS ADORABLE! DO NOT FORGET THY HOLY WORDS!
-Lion boi is secretly the type to hold your hands when you're sleeping. He plays with your fingers, admiring how cute and small it is.
-Oh wait...Oops...he got caught... LEONA IS CAUGHT RED HANDED?😳 You wake up finding leona playing with your hands? It's either he turns on his back from embarrasment and tells you to sleep, or he squeezes your hands tighter and burries your face in the crook of his neck from embarrassment. He'll play it off as annoyed, but cat got his toungue huh?. Oh wait.... He IS the big cat😏😏😏
Ok enough babbling with leona...
SEBEK ZIGVOLT:
AHAHAHAHAHA YES MY FAVORITE HANDS! Cough, I'm sorry about that
-Sebek has proportional hands. His is more on the medium-big side. But it is perfectly proportional! At least in my eyes...😳
-The back of his hands are smooth and spotless! Very scumptious to look at! Pls look at sebek's hands too!😳😳😳
-Bebek has PRETTY NAILS UGHHH! He most likely trims and takes care of it every week! Not the best nails, BUT VERY NEAT!😳
-Bebek is a highkey fanboy of malleus, so he trains everyday to protecc his God and saviour Malmal. Naturally, he'll have calloused and rough hands... BUT DO NOT FRET MY CHILDREN! It is not that noticable which shookt me. His hands are a bit roughed up, welp can't help it, he's a man with mang jobs after all. (Yes, I call him bebek because sebek is babey🥺)
Curious what will happend if you hold hands with Bebek? I gotchu fam:🤝
-Sebek is a child so he won't really initiate first on holding hands. BUT WHEN YOU DO! OH BOI!😏 
-Sebek has this transparent look to his skin... Almost ghostly per say. BUT WHEN YOU HOLD HIS HANDS... Sebek is not used to this interaction so expect a tomato in front of you... Sebek's face is flushed red reaching down to his neck, and the fun part is, even his hands are blushy blushy😏😏😏😏
-After the first time the both of you held hands. Sebek will crave for it A LOT! Expect him to randomly start akwardly making way to you hands and play with it while the both of you are just chilling. Akward..... Sebek.exe will stop working when you look at him confuse, in which he'll get flustered, and ask if he can hold your hands. ADORKABLE!
-It would take him some time trying to calm himself down, all flushed and red embarrased from asking to hold hands.
-At first, Sebek will firmly hold your hands, stiff and afraid he might break your fingers or something.... Pls tell him to relax and just chill🥺🥺🥺
-When the both of you gets used to hand holding, Bebek is the type to kiss your hands as a gesture of Love....hgnnn hot!😳😳😳
I'm sorry, I'm letting my personal hand bias get the best of me..😳👉👈
JADE LEECH:
-HGNNN JADE HAS SQUISHY HANDS!😳😳
-Jade has big hands folks.... Big hands..... Perfect for unscrewing the cap of the holy water bottle.🤠
-mushroom boi has squishable hands in my eyes and you can never change my mind.
-his skin is probably smooth and sleek too, his palms must be soft but firm😳😳
-Jade has this grip that makes you feel safe for some reason. Maybe because it's big? or maybe because it's soft?
Wanna know what it's like to hold hands with mushroom boi? I gotchu:🤝
-Jade...oh Jade.... He is the first one to hold your hands in a surprise. Like... imagine after school ends, you ran up to him and he swiftly intertwines his firngers with yours..😳😳
-You are flushed from this sudden hand holding. Red cheeks, red neck. JADE FINDS THIS VERY SCRUMPTIOUS! Mushroom boi will try to push you on edge. Holding both of your hands tighter, and fumbling his fingers with yours. You're just standing there starstruck and embarrased by the sudden hold. Jade is enjoying this too much...😏😏😏
-Of course, to add more to the fun, JADE IS THE TYPE TO KISS THE BACK OF YOUR HANDS TO TEASE YOU!😳
-if you try to pull away from embarrassment...oh no.... You're just begging for Jade to tease you more huh? He'll hold you tighter and maybe even hug you.
-What if you try to hold his hands first? Oh my... Prepare yourself....if you try to hold his hands, he'll just smile like normal, but as time passes by and both of you are pretty relaxed now...that won't do.... He'd pull your hand he's holding and rest his cheeks at the back of your hand, he'd stare straight at you and tell you how much he loves you....😳😳😳
-goodluck on dealing with embarassment Jade stans (oho i know you love it)
FLOYD LEECH:
-ANOTHER EEL BOI COMING RIGHT UP!
-Floyd is whooping 191cm, it's common sense he has very big hands. Perfect for flipping the pages of the holy bible.😏😏😏
-This man child has some big rough hands! Expect your hands to look very small beside his!
- Also I want to tell you about Floyd's knuckles......I think I found my new religion now... Check out Floyd's knuckles!!😳😳😳👌
- Floyds's wrist is big too....mhmmm scrumptious eel martini😳👌
Do you want to know what it feels like to do premarital hand holding with this hot eel? ME TOO! Illegal hand holding time!🤝
-"Your hands are tiny koebi chan~" Floyd is the first one to randomly hold ur hands.😳
-If Floyd gets bored, he'd try to find interesting things to do to kill of the boredom. HMMM?! Do you see that? Koebi chan's hands! Eel boi will casually start playing with your fingers, squishing your palms as you sit there confused and embarrassed.
-He'll eventually intertwine his fingers with yours, as he points to it with his other hands and say "How cute~ koebi chan's hands are tiny!" Grinning widely with his teeth showing. Practically speaking, you are just putty in this eel boi's hands now. You are a blushing mess.😏😏 FLOYD HOW CAN ONE BE CUTE AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME?
-Eventually, floyd will start to crave having your fingers to hold on to! When you're randomly walking down the halls, don't be surprised if a random eel surprises you by linking your fingers together.🥺🥺
-Whenever eel boi sees you, he'd grab your hands automatically. He loves holding your teeny tiny hands with his big ones.😳
-When you avert your attention to something else, he made this habit of squeezing your hands a bit and looking at you with a pouty face. UGHHH MY HEART HURTS THINKING ABOUT IT-
-Whenever he gets jealous, he grabs unto your hands quite tightly, even if the both of you are out in public. Let's say a random dude keeps on talking to you. He'll grab your hands that’s still intertwined with his, and he'll bring it very very VERY CLOSE to his face.😳😳😳 Then he'd look at you straight in the eye as he bites unto your palms. He'd whisper "You're mine right? Koebi-chan~"😳😳😳
I'm getting too much into floyd, this is starting to become a fanfic🤦
VIL SCHOENHEIT:
-MY CRUSTY VILL~🥺🥺🥺
-Ok vil's hands aren't crusty ok? He may be crusty, but not his hands!!!
-My man vil drowns in hand creams, so expect his hands to feel like clouds. It's soft, smooth and most importantly SQUISHYYY!😳😳😳
-Looking at vil's hands is not that exciting ngl... BUT HIS LAB COAT ONE IS👌 very beautiful👌very scrumptious👌
-Vil has proportional and perfect hands. Fingers are in the medium side, so as his hand size. Very perfect indeed.
-His hands might look frail and feminine at first, BUT MAN! You are so wrong! From a gentle hold, it can escalate to a very strong hot grip in seconds.😳
-The back of his hands looks smooth tbvh. And his nails are ok. BUT HE PROBABLY PUTS A LOT OF EFFORT IN MAKING HIS HANDS PERFECT! SO KUDOS TO MY CRUSTY VIL!🥺
Let's hold Vil's hands illegally ok? Don't tell the cops shhhhh! Hand holding time:🤝
-It would start off as a normal vibing session. The both of you are probably having tea, studying, or mainly just chilling in the lounge.
-But suddenly... Vil takes notice of your hands...Hold your wigs kids.... he'd ask you if you've been taking care of your hands, in which you answer "no" shamefully.
-But Vil will then smile at you and tell you you should take care of your hands and use hand creams to prevent them from going rough! He'll lecture you about how you should take care of yourself so the both of you can be perfect and beautiful together.
-Suddenly vil whips out a handcream from his bag, and he'll ask you for your hands.
-As embarrasing as it sounds. The most beautiful man in twisted wonderland is putting handcream on you.😳😳😳
-Vil would definitely massage your small fingers and compliment how pretty your hands are. He'd tell you how cute your nail are and how soft your palms are. Thats it. You're a blushing mess right now!!😳😳
-You'd try to look away from embarrasment, but when vil sees this... Oh boy... He'd pout, and as he's massaging your hands. He'd intertwine your fingers with his, to make you look at his direction again.
-Vil would definitely kiss your fingers and say "You're beautiful, my love."
VIL I LOVE YOU! ok thats all for that, I'm dying rn.
KALIM AL-ASIM:
-Kalim you adorkable sunshine boi😳😳😳
- Kalim has smol hands, BUT NOT TOO SMALL! I'd say, it's probably perfect for you to hold hands with.😏😏😏
-His nails are also small, I think? But it's cute, and turns out i'm a sucker for cuties.🥺
-His lab card is scrumptious.... Both the hands and the food he is cooking...😳😳😳 I hope i'm not the only one who thinks that.....
-ALSO HE HAS A LOT OF ACCESSORIES IN HIS HANDS WHICH I'M WEAK FOR! omg his bracelets and bangles are making me feel hot and bothered.😳😳😳
-Anyways, kalim is sunshine so expect his hands to be warm and full of infectious positivity.🥺
Wanna have a chance to hold kalim's hands? Ur in for a ride fam!🤝
-At first, you's simply be invited for a flying carpet ride by ya sunshine boi, kalim. Pretty simple huh? Nahhhhh! 
-Of course, in order to get to the carpet where kalim is, sunshine boi needs to lift you up in the air.
-Kalim will offer his hands whilst riding on the carpet. Hggnnn such a cliche scene from a movie🥺👌
-But the thing is...... Even if you're already in the magic carpet, sunshine boi will forget he was holding your hands...😏
-He'll keep on telling fun stories and talking to you while both of you are high up in the clouds. Oops.... You noticed you're holding kalim's hands... You went red and flushed from embarrasment. Your hands begin to get sweaty as you stare at the both of yours and kalim's hands together...
-Expect your sunshine boi to take notice of this and ask you what's wrong... You'd point at his hands embarrasingly as you look away in the other direction.
-To your surprise, when you look at kalim again. Kalim is beet red too! A BEET RED KALIM IS RARE! DO NOT FORGET THIS MOMENT GAMERS!🥺🥺🥺
-He'd ask you if it's ok to hold onto your hands maybe just a little bit more???? It's not a sin to ask for more right?😏
-Kalim lets go of your hands for a moment. BUT DONT WORRY! he'll just try to properly hold your hands this time! He'll intertwine his fingers with yours, and maybe lightly squeeze it too.😳
-After this brief akward moment, Kalim goes back to his sunshine tendencies. Smiling brightly like the sun he is🥺🥺🥺
-When your night ride is over PLS DONT LET GO OF KALIM'S HANDS YET! he'll be a bit sad if you do😔👊
-But when the both of you lands on the ground...Kalim would grab the both your hands, and put them both on his cheek.He'd intertwine his fingers with yours from the back of your hands and the both of you probably just wants to melt then and there.
-He'll tell you "please dont go yet!" KALIM UR SO ADORABLE! PLS HUG KALIM!🥺👊
The End ^~^
I just babbled about my hand worshipping tendencies all throughout this headcanon... I'm sorry about that pls. stone me gently for I have sinned....
Tags: @muraenxdae You're the one who suggested this, take responsibility.... @cursedtwst let's lick their hands together ok? @edgymcmytrash u said u wanna be tagged? SUFFER! @nightingale-oath let's be shameless together ok?😳👉👈
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1dmonthlyficroundup · 3 years
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1D Monthly Fic Roundup
Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for May 2021! Below the cut you’ll find 17 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup.
New York Kiss by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment
[Louis/Zayn, Mature, 47k, tumblr post]
“Also, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m quite the narcissistic type, and I didn’t want that cute guy to have a bad opinion of me for the rest of his life.” “Who, me?” Zayn bats his lashes jokingly, ignoring the fact that his heart skipped a beat at Louis’ words. “Yeah, you. So, shall we go?” Louis drops what remains of his cigarette on the floor and steps on it to light it off. Meanwhile, Zayn makes a reckless decision. “Alright. Lead the way, De Niro.”
Or: A strangers to lovers AU where Louis is an actor, Zayn is a writer (among other things), and they meet each other literally by accident in NYC, just as the world is about to turn upside down.
I Love The Very Blood Of You by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 
[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 129k, tumblr post]
“I don’t just like him …” Harry muttered, fiddling with the string at the waistband of his jogging bottoms that had definitely seen better days. “I love him, Zayn. I’m in love with Louis. With a vampire.”
He looked up just in time to see a small smile on Anne’s face, and she reached out with a hopeful look. Harry couldn’t resist, and put his large hand in hers, letting her comfort him for a moment.
“I could tell there was love between you,” she confessed softly, a light blush on her cheeks. “When I met you, I knew you were smitten with each other. I won’t pretend it doesn’t make me nervous, but … I can’t tell you who you can and can’t love, sweetheart.”
A vampire. A human. A broken arrangement. A love long since forbidden. Hunted by hate. Destined.
One More Taste of Your Lips by MsHydeStylinson @mizzhydes and @canadianlarrie
[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 80k, tumblr post]
It had been eight years since the hiatus began, and Louis had spent that time writing and recording music, touring and making it safely through the pandemic. When the opportunity arose to go back on tour with One Direction, Louis knew he'd be a fool not to take it. Sure, life on the road would be different after all this time apart, but he was looking forward to experiencing that comradery again.
What he hadn't realised was that living the better part of nine months in each other's pockets was bound to dredge up issues from his past. And when one of the pockets belonged to Harry, who he'd had a rather unconventional friendship with that drifted apart during their last tour, life on the road again would upend both their lives in irrevocable ways.
***
Harry wasn’t that sixteen year old boy anymore. Nor was he the young man in his late teens who was on the cusp of conquering the entire world.
But some traits seemed to remain the same; his vibrant green eyes, the dimples set deeply in his cheeks whenever he laughed earnestly, or his curls that were the same shade of cocoa that Louis remembered fondly.
And yet, Louis had absolutely no idea who this man that stood a mere twenty paces away was today.
take my hand, wreck my plans by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose
[Harry/Louis, Teen & Up, 38k, tumblr post]
Louis meets the man in the center of the room, feeling every eye on him.
“Mr. H,” he whispers.
The man smiles brightly and laughs as if he can’t believe his eyes. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”
“Nor I you, especially under these circumstances.”
“Even so,” Mr H says, his eyes bouncing from Louis’ eyes to his lips. “Will you do me a great honor and join me in leading the first … um…”
“Dance?”
Mr. H laughs and nods. “Yes, that’s the one.”
Louis bites his lips and doesn’t hesitate before whispering, “Yes.”
Mr. H beams and reaches for Louis’ hand. Sparks fly at the touch and a zing of excitement shoots through Louis’ body. His face heats up as he’s afraid his scent would give away his feelings towards the other man.
Winter Light by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment
[Liam/Zayn (Liam & Louis, Harry/Louis), Teen & Up, 58k, tumblr post]
“Do you think this place is dead?” he suddenly asked, his eyes focused on one of the two oaks, whose bark was grey and trunk cracked. 
“What do you mean?” Zayn inquired, joining him by the tree. 
“Well, it’s winter now, so obviously everything looks dead anyway,” Liam said. “But do you think come spring, this place might look like the way it looked before?” 
Zayn took his time to think about Liam’s question. “I think all things are salvageable,” he eventually answered. “Including this garden. You just have to try hard enough.”
After his mother’s death, Liam is sent to live at his estranged uncle’s manor in the North of England, where new friends, mysterious places and family secrets await him. A Secret Garden inspired Soulmate AU
Cake and Kiss by @loulovehome
[Harry/Louis, General, 2k, tumblr post]
The one where omega Harry didn't like cake and wants to throw up when his alpha kisses him.
Love After the End of the World by writing_practice / @mercurial-madhouse
[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 150k, tumblr post]
“Wait. Just so I’m clear in me fucking noggin,” Niall says. “An international worldwide takeover is well under way and the only thing standing between having hot showers and a second end of the world is us five fuckers?”
-----
Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.
When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.
Hometown by @allwaswell16
[Louis/Harry, Not Rated, 2k, tumblr post]
On the day Harry gets his driver’s licence, he drives through the suburbs, heartbroken that he can’t drive home to Louis.
Baby Blues by @kingsofeverything
[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 12K, tumblr post]
8 mpreg Harry snippets originally posted on Tumblr. Mostly smut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense
[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 107k, tumblr post]
Harry’s life as a vampire is routine. He spends his years moving around from place to place, learning as much as he can, and falling in love whenever the universe sees fit. When he tries to move his casual relationship with Louis to something more, it all gets turned on its head. As they navigate confusing thoughts and complex emotions, Harry finds himself torn between the love he feels for Louis and everything he thought he knew.
Featuring pet names, love letters, secrets, meaningful friendships, and two insecure boys desperately in love.
Pretty in Pink by lovelarry / @chloehl10
[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 18k, tumblr post]
“Love? Can I come in?”
Harry sniffed and shook his head before he realised Louis couldn’t see him. “No. Go home, Lou. Please.”
“I’m not leaving,” the Omega insisted, his voice full of concern. “And I’m not judging either. Just… talk to me, Haz.”
Harry briefly considered changing or at least ripping everything off and greeting Louis in his boxers before he realised that might actually be worse, that Louis had seen him dressed up and there was no need to hide anymore. He meekly shuffled over to the door and pulled it open before he backed away, refusing to meet Louis’ eyes.
To the Omega’s credit, he walked straight over to Harry and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his cheek between Harry’s shoulder blades.
“This top feels nice. Soft. I see why you like it,” Louis said quietly from behind him.
*****
Alpha Harry loves to secretly dress up and be pretty. He loves his feminine side, even if it’s not typical of an Alpha. But when Omega Louis finds out, it might just the start of something even more beautiful for them both...
Plant New Seeds In The Melody by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers
[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 58k, tumblr post]
After losing his husband in a tragic car accident, the last thing Louis needs is to keep running into popstar Harry Styles, who David was quite fond of.
Obviously, that’s exactly what keeps happening.
But as their unlikely friendship blossoms, Louis realizes that, maybe, having Harry in his life was the only good thing that came out of his adverse circumstances. Harry could be just the right person to help Louis find trust and intimacy in someone new.
We are the same, you run in my veins by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers
[Louis/Harry, General, 4k, tumblr post]
When the time for Louis to become the Alpha leader of his pack comes, he can’t rise to the occasion for not being yet bonded. A series of trips to neighbouring packs in search of his soulmate is fruitless until he meets one of the other packs’ Alpha heir.
Harry.
The world seems to stop turning for a second and then it shifts, clicking into its axis. All the distress and wrongness he felt until that very moment suddenly disappears. Louis is finally whole.
But two Alpha leaders from different tribes soulbonding is something unheard of before.
evergreen, evermore by docklands / @hershelsue​
[Louis/Harry, General, 2k, tumblr post]
The year is 1979. Their entire lives, Harry and Louis have lived in Chichester, home to the best watermelons in the world. An unruffled life in the country has always served their long term friendship well. It all shifts when Harry has to move away to a bigger city due to his mother’s job, albeit his love for his hometown and for Louis. It’s even harsher when the moving truck leaves on his birthday, of all days. When all seems lost, Louis ends up having to pull some strings to ease the pain in Harry’s heart.
When The High's Too High, and the Low's Too Low by DaysLikeMasquerades
[Louis/Harry, Mature, 22k+ (wip)]
Two perspectives of growing up neurodivergent
Some days Harry wondered if he would ever find a friend who could look past all the things he couldn't change. Someone who didn't care that he could spend hours talking about his latest fascination without calling him obsessed. Who didn't laugh when he couldn't stop his hands from expressing his emotions. Who didn't care that he was 13, but he'd start crying if he went into too many stores, because they were too bright, too loud, too smelly, and it was all just too overwhelming. Some days he thought someone like that just didn't exist.
Most nights Louis wondered if there would ever come a time when he didn't hate himself. When he would learn to control his emotions and the mood swings that seemed to take over everything and leave no room for himself. He wondered how he could live with himself when he only seemed to hurt the people he loved. His teachers thought he was a wonderful boy, but he knew the truth. Most nights he cried himself into exhaustion wondering how it was possible to feel so broken at only 15. He wanted to be happy, but he didn't know how and that scared him more than anything. Most nights he just hoped he could figure it out before it was too late.
Make You Never Wanna Leave (so Don’t) by @beelou​ / cherrylarry
[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 3k, tumblr post]
“You look hot in plaid.” “What?” “I said you look like a dad.” “No, you didn't.” “Yes, I certainly did, Harold. You have no proof.” -- Or, the one where Harry wears plaid.
a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface
[Harry/Niall, ​Not rated, 10k, tumblr post]
“Listen, my alpha and I broke up and it turns out that all of our friends were really his friends and I need someone to help me through–”
“No,” Harry practically shouts, the word bursting out of him unbidden. He cringes when he sees the shock on Niall’s face, his pale skin flushing lightly. “I’m sorry, but my answer has to be no. I don’t help omegas through heats. I’m really sorry, Liam knows that, so I don’t know why he would give you the idea–”
“It’s not heat, Harry,” Niall interrupts. “It’s depri.”
“Oh. Fuck.”
Touch deprivation makes a lot of sense now that Harry thinks about it. Niall seems generally unwell; he appears to be weak, his skin is pallid and his lips look chapped, and his breathing is ragged. He’s wearing a cozy-looking sweatshirt, but even over FaceTime, he kind of seems cold, hunched over with his arms wrapped around his body. Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.
Oh.
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oumakokichi · 3 years
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hello! could you talk a bit more about the original (as in jp, not localization) ouma's personality and speech patterns? you've mentioned that he tends to trail off or speak more softly when it is implied he is speaking the truth, etc. and how he is not so loud/intentionally obnoxious. //btw when does he call himself a fairy? that's so cute
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I got a couple of questions asking about the fairy line Ouma has, so I don’t mind sort of rolling them both into one! And I’m more than happy to talk a little more in-depth about Ouma’s speech patterns and personality in the original game, too!
Since I’ll be covering some late-game spoilers, I’ll put the bulk of this under the cut, so be careful when reading!
First off, I cannot stress how much I recommed playing ndrv3 with the Japanese voices enabled. If you’ve already played through the English dub but never experiened the original voice acting cast, I promise you won’t be disappointed. The Japanese cast are all fantastic, incredibly talented VAs who, unlike the dub, were hired specifically for these roles and not just re-casted from previous DR games.
Hiro Shimono as Ouma gives an absolutely incredible performance. The localization might still have many flaws in its translation and omission of certain lines or punctuation, but you can still very much get a feel for how Ouma’s character was intended by listening to Shimono’s performance. Re-playing the game with the Japanese voices will definitely let you hear how soft and tonally different Shimono’s performance is in places from the English dub, and compare it to the way in which many lines are written and punctuated as if Ouma’s yelling at everyone.
That isn’t to say that Shimono’s Ouma is never loud or excited: Ouma is a character whose moods and façades are all over the place, and therefore his performance requires a voice actor who can similarly change moods and intonation on a dime. Ouma is very much loud and haughty and deliberately annoying when he’s supposed to be, but his voice is also low and ominous at other points when he’s trying to be scary. And again, it’s soft and hesitant in places where he’s considering divulging some of his information, or when he’s insisting that all the things he does are for everyone’s sake, because he cares about them and doesn’t want anyone to die.
These moments feel so much more genuine in the Japanese version of the game--because they’re meant to be. As fantastic of a liar as Ouma is, it’s much easier for us, the player, to tell when he’s lying on a re-play, knowing the information from chapters 5 and 6 that we do, and looking at cues like his sprites (often his blank-faced ones) and, yes, his delivery of certain lines.
This probably sounds like me just gushing about what a fantastic voice actor Hiro Shimono is, and in part that’s exactly what it is, but I want to stress that pretty much every single voice actor in the Japanese cast is just as fantastic and that they all do their jobs incredibly well. With all that gushing out of the way, I’ll move on to talking about some of Ouma’s actual speech tics and the way he refers to other characters.
Like most things about him, Ouma’s speech patterns are sort of an interesting mix and even seem a little contradictory at times. He uses the very masculine pronoun “ore” (オレ), but he also refers to nearly everyone (with only a handful of exceptions) by their surnames and the much more childish honorific “-chan” (i.e. “Saihara-chan,” “Akamatsu-chan,” “Amami-chan,” etc.)
The use of “-chan” is very interesting. Honorifics in Japan are extremely complicated and tend to mean different things depending on who is using them. Typically, “-chan” is seen as a very feminine way to refer to someone else, commonly used in close-knit friend groups among school girls.
There are, of course, a few notable exceptions to this however: often times, middle-aged or elderly people will call a child “-chan” regardless of gender, as a way of showing they find them cute and endearing. And sometimes, people will use “-chan” to refer to other things they find cute, such as pets, or even to refer to themselves in a sort of informal, tongue-in-cheek way.
The fact that Ouma uses “-chan” as an honorific to refer to nearly everyone in the game stands out quite a lot: by and large, boys don’t use this term to refer to other boys. Using “-chan” to refer to anyone you’ve just met or don’t know very well is already somewhat frowned upon, but a boy using it to refer to other boys is especially rare. This helps set Ouma’s character up as someone who is both incredibly casual and informal with others (not to mention, you know, quite coded). Considering childishness and lightheartedness are traits Ouma values, and how much emphasis is put on him having “a very innocent, childish streak that’s hard to hate,” it makes sense then that he would talk like this.
Not counting Monokuma and the Monokubs, the only characters who Ouma doesn’t refer to with “-chan” are Gonta and Kiibo, who he simply calls by name. This also says some interesting things about his character.
Gonta is easily the character who Ouma interacts with the most often, as well as the charater he hurts the most in the end. Ouma’s choice to exclude Gonta from his usual way of calling people is, I think, a testament to how much Gonta really wanted to be friends with him, even if their friendship was never exactly on equal footing.
Meanwhile with Kiibo, I feel the choice to exclude him from his usual way of addressing others is indicative of how much Ouma tried to remind himself that Kiibo “wasn’t human,” and therefore how suspicious he found his presence in the killing game. We know Ouma suspected Kiibo and likely even had an inkling of his role as the audience proxy/camera in the game, due to how Kiibo’s picture is one of the only others set aside on his whiteboard besides Saihara’s, with the word “weird” written next to it (he also clearly guessed about the cameras after Gonta’s line in chapter 2, as we see from how he commissioned Miu for the bug-vac).
Ouma clearly enjoys teasing Kiibo a lot, and their banter reads very much like a manzai comedy duo; I feel like Ouma often tried pushing himself to remember that Kiibo “wasn’t human” on purpose in order to not get too attached to him or too distracted from his goal of ending the killing game. I don’t think Ouma’s decision to exclude Kiibo from the way that he very particularly referred to most of the rest of the group was just an accident or a coincidence.
Honorifics aside, Ouma also refers to several characters in interesting ways. He often uses “daisuki na ___-chan” (大好きな) to refer to some of the other characters, a phrase which more or less equates to “my beloved.” He uses this phrase with Saihara more than any other character of the game, but there are a few other instances where he does use it with Amami, Momota, and (if I’m remembering correctly) Kaede. Pretty much every single instance where the localization put, “because I love you” or “because you’re my favorite” whenever Ouma was talking to Saihara was usually a point where he would specifically call him “my beloved Saihara-chan.”
In chapter 4 during the scene where Ouma is alone in the parlor of the VR world, he also specifically, exclusively refers to Saihara as “suki ni natta hito” (好きになった人), literally: “the person I fell in love with.” This line was changed in the localization to, “when there’s a person I like,” which is more or less literally correct--however, the phrase “suki ni natta” is much heavier and more loaded with explicitly romantic implications than “suki” would be on its own, as it’s often used in Japanese love songs and shoujo manga love confessions.
Worth noting in my opinion is the fact that this is the exact same phrasing Maki uses to describe her romantic feelings for Momota. Since Maki’s feelings for Momota are considered canonically confirmed because of this, Ouma’s feelings should be considered equally canon, but a lot of people don’t know this because, well, it’s sort of been lost in translation.
And now, on to the fairy line! Ouma calls himself a fairy in chapter 3, when he pops up in the middle of Saihara and Korekiyo’s discussion of the katana in Korekiyo’s lab. Full of enthusiasm, he decides to touch the sword and examine it for himself; Korekiyo starts to object, but Ouma interrupts and says:
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“Come on, it’s not a big deal! I’m like a fairy, so it’ll be fine!”
I’ve always really loved this line and thought it was super adorable, both as a nod to how fairies aren’t supposed to be able to touch steel in most fae mythos, as well as the fact that fairies tend to also have a love for mischief and pranks and lies. The localization apparently didn’t like it so much though, because this line is simply changed to, “Come on, would I lie to you?” instead.
One final thing I can think of as far as Ouma’s speech tics go is that his laugh in Japanese is romanized as “nishishi” instead of “neeheehee,” as this is closer to the Japanese onomatopoeia for the sound horses make--but I actually don’t mind this localization change at all! “Neeheehee” definitely looks a lot closer to the word “neigh” and helps capture that horse joke in a way that I feel like western players can more easily understand.
All in all, while I still definitely feel people can like and enjoy Ouma’s character from playing the localization alone, I still stand by my opinion that listening to the original Japanese voices helps give a much better picture of how the character was intended to come across, and really shows how much depth Hiro Shimono put into his performance. He’s quoted in the official ndrv3 artbook as saying that he believes Ouma is someone who’s actually “really meek if you take away his strong wish to outwit everyone” (credit to @kaibutsushidousha for the art book translation), and I think this interpretation of Ouma really shows through in so many of his lines.
Thank you both for the really fun questions! I hope I could provide some more interesting information about Ouma and the translation!
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colossal-fallout · 3 years
Note
Historia x fem!reader where historia has a secret sex dungeon and when the reader comes back from a risky expedition with the scouts, historia takes her there and fucks the reader silly (bonus historia like to be called mommy😏)
I love anons minds. Truly, I do.
Service to your Queen 👑
Warnings: 18+ NSFW. Dom Historia X Fem reader. Mommy kink.
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"Your majesty. The survey corps have returned."
Queen Historia stood gazing out of the window, longingly. She belonged here in the palace; to keep the law and order of the land.
But god's, did her heart belong out there...
Out there fighting for freedom. Out there where returning home is not a guarantee but glory awaits you either way. Out there where you were, opposing the immense oppression of not only the titans, but of the fellow human beings across the ocean. The ocean that was almost mythical to her at this point - she still hadn't witnessed the wonder of the edge of her world.
"Is that so?" She replies, turning her head slightly; her rose tinted lips parting.
The meeting went well.
Historia had all of her old comrades around a huge polished table, one in which the strong scent of varnish would sting your nostrils. Whenever her old team would come to the palace to report and strategize their next move it warmed her heart. She kept them under her roof in the luxurious rooms and made sure they were fed well and pampered. After all, they weren't only fighting for the future of her Kingdom, but they were her friends.
Then there was you.
"Y/N." She pulls you aside after dinner, the room relaxed, satisfied and grateful; chatting in sporadic areas of the large dining hall leasuirely.
"Yes, your majesty?" You bow your head slightly, hiding the lustful glint in your eye.
Your lover didn't have to be queen for you to see her as royalty.
"Come with me." She orders simply.
You nod and you both slip out of the room, your shoes padding on the soft velvet carpet that centres the marble floor as you follow her down the hallway.
"I hear that you've just returned from a particularly dangerous expedition."
"Yes." You nod, keeping formalities - for now.
"I see."
She turns down a more narrow hallway one that looked slightly misplaced in the lavish royal palace.
"... Historia?" You ask, dropping the act now there was no chance of anyone hearing you. "Where are we going?"
"My new playroom."
Playroom?
You imagined her, this grown woman sitting with her crown on her head playing with dolls and combing their hair. You sure hoped she wasn't going to make you have a fucking tea party.
You reach a door when she stops and pulls out a key, unlocking it and heading inside. When you follow her into what looks like an abandoned library, she locks the door behind you.
Oh? Does she mean a playroom where she's renovating?
Her heels that are hidden by her flowing gown click across the floorboards, when she stops in a seemingly random area near the back wall.
"Did you miss me?" She asks, her large eyes gazing at you.
"Of course..."
Without replying she stomps her foot down and a trapdoor swings open seemingly out of nowhere.
"Uh..." You begin.
"Shut up. Follow me."
Grabbing a torch off the wall she begins to decend the stone stairs beneath the floor, you following meekly behind.
"You're... Not going to kill me, are you?" You frown as you sink into the inky darkeness.
A soft laugh escapes her throat. "No."
As you walk, you wonder if the royal treatment has gone to her head and she was about to show you some secret torture chamber with some Marleyan's inside. Your mind wanders into weird territory as it usually did, musing how it would feel if she had somehow got Reiner down there or Annie.
You weren't too far off with the torture chamber.
When she opened the door at the bottom there was a table in the centre of a well lit room and the wall was lined with strap ons, dildos, chains, whips... You name it.
Your eyes widen at the sight.
Oh. A playroom.
"Remove your clothes " she orders, casually undoing her royal cape and hanging it on a shabby looking coat rack.
"Um -"
"Now."
You happily oblige, your fingers not being able to move quick enough as she stands in front of you and removes her dress, her gorgeous body in all of its glory bare before you.
"Fuck..." You sigh, walking over, ready to devour her.
"No. You can't touch me." She steps back. "Lie on the table."
Your hands hesitate, wanting nothing more than to grope those beautiful tits and slide your fingers down her slit.
But she pushes you over anyway laying you down harshly before tying your hands above your head.
"Historia?" You frown but you're excited, dying to feel her soft skin against yours.
"Address me properly." She replies as she's fastening your bonds, not even looking at you.
"Your majesty?"
"No."
"My queen?"
She grabs your face and straddles you her warm pussy on your lower stomach.
"Try again."
"...Mommy?"
She bites her bottom lip devishly before rewarding you by sliding her tongue into your mouth, slowly and deeply swirling it around your cave.
"Good girl." She breathes as she pulls away, leaving you yearning for more.
She leans up and raises her arms above her head, fiddling with the grips that held in her elegant plaited bun. The shape of her body this way drove you wild; her hips snaking into her slim waist up to her breasts... You wanted nothing more but to touch her. And when that clip came out and her blonde hair spilled down around her...
"Holy shit, you're gorgeous..." You breathe, having missed her far too much.
She looks down and smirks, those small yet puffy lips being ran over by her tongue. "Theres so much I want you to do to me, y/n..." She begins, slowly moving herself up your body on her knees. "But there's a lot more that I want to do to you."
You hum with arousal as she lowers her small pink pussy onto your face, her legs by your head and her fingers gripping at your hair as she slowly rocks her hips back and forth on your tongue.
"Ah~" she makes a sound like she'd just sank into a warm bath, her eyes closing in bliss having missed your warm tongue lapping at her clit. Her hips gyrate and rock, her sweet scent filling your nose and her even sweeter taste soaking into your mouth. Her fingers flex in your strands, humming and sighing like she'd just returned home from a hard days work.
She begins to rock faster, her body been empty from you for too long, her climax already quickly approaching. Her thighs squeeze against your head, her skin muffling the sounds of her gasps which are getting more desperate.
"Y-you're not going any- ah, anywhere." She breathes, her face begining to turn pink. "Y- you're staying in here forever. Haa~ ah ~!"
Her legs squeeze you tighter as her cum begins to dribble out of her tight hole, splashing around your lips, your vibrating moan only making her feel even more in the arms of bliss. Her back straightens the view from beneath her something only a god could carve.
With a satisfied hum, she climbs off you; your face flushed and wet, your body aching for her. She stalks around to between your legs, your pussy quivering with arousal and dripping - as if crying for her to ruin you.
Her tongue laps up the bead of wetness and up your folds to your clit, circling it while caressing you thighs with her soft hands, grazing her nails softly on the insides of your legs, teasingly.
"Oh, Historia..." You pur, eyes rolling at the touch of her warm muscle.
She pulls her mouth away. "What did I tell you, gorgeous?" Her own asphyxiating lust clouding her sky blues.
"Mommy..." You moan as her slender, feminine finger circles your bundle of nerves.
"You're such a good girl." She grins before returning her mouth to your cunt, sliding her delicate fingers inside your clenching tunnel.
"Yes..." You sigh. "God I missed you. You make me feel so... Ah! So fucking good."
Curling her fingers she relishes in how good you taste, better than any meal the grand palace could ever provide.
"Yes! Mommy... Please. Let me touch you!"
Hearing that word on your own accord made something inside of her snap, a tightness in her lower stomach that had to be addressed immediately.
Removing herself she straddles you again, this time on your pubic bone, leaning forward and freeing your hands that instantly glue themself to her hips as she begins to rock and grind between your legs; the warm thick slick reducing friction but intensifying pleasure.
"y/n... Ah, yes! My brave soldier... Oh... God!" She calls out riding you, her hips rolling again and again, her tits jiggling as she pulls your nipples with her fingers.
"Yes! Fuck! Mommy! Fuck me!" You cry, your orgasm threatening the boundaries of your reality.
Hearing you say that again makes her cum instantly, her clenching cunt pushing you over your edge, rocking her harder by her waist as you leave your body and ascend into the heavens.
Your eyes flicker open once you calm down, your legs shivering, lower stomach covered in the queen's cum.
She runs her tongue up your entire body, collecting your mixture of arousal and sliding it into your mouth with a groan.
"You serve your queen well."
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ghirahimbo · 4 years
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Are you open to prompts? I would suggest Link picking out new bangles for Revali's braids or something, if you'd like to use that!
Apparently I am open to prompts and would like to use that, because I went and wrote a whole post-Pinesong oneshot for it :D Here you go!
--
“Topaz,” Link said decisively, his voice slightly muffled by the thin blue veil that hid his just-too-angular jawline. “Definitely topaz. I assume it works for a Rito the same way it does for Hylians?”
“Of course.” Isha, the Gerudo jeweler, nodded eagerly. “Topaz harnesses the power of lightning to protect its wearer from electricity, no matter who wears it. A wise choice if your friend plans on traveling the desert for much longer—and the color would suit her nicely.”
“Do you think so?”
Revali couldn’t help but shift defensively under the somehow identical stares of consideration that turned his way, though in every other aspect the two humans examining him could not have looked more different. With her glowing dark skin and fiery hair worked elaborately beneath finely crafted ornaments that were no doubt proof of her skill as a jeweler, Isha was the very definition of put together beauty, so that Link looked almost drab and washed out in comparison. Some other Hylian might have disappeared completely in her presence—Isha would have towered head and shoulders over Link even without her golden heels, and the muscles that rippled beneath her sparse outfit were as hard and defined as any Gerudo’s Revali had ever seen—and yet… well, Link was still Link, even halfway hidden behind colorful silks. With one hand propped against his waist and the other scratching thoughtfully at his chin, Link inhabited his Gerudo clothing with a confidence that Revali had not expected from the way he’d blushed when he first pulled it out—a confidence that left Revali unaccountably flustered. He himself was not nearly so comfortable with his own feminine disguise, as evidenced by his constant prodding at the two looped braids that hung to either side of his face. How did Rito women function with those heavy braids dangling like that?
“You’re right,” Link agreed, and Revali raised an eyebrow as Link reached beneath his beak to push it up, examining his raised profile intently. “The jade went well with her eyes, I think, but the topaz…”
“The topaz will make her sparkle,” Isha insisted from his other side, holding an uncut yellow stone up against Revali’s face and squinting at them together. “You see it now, don’t you? What do you think, Vali?”
Revali rolled his eyes over the nickname Link had chosen as Revali’s impromptu alibi.
“I think that this place might be a waste of rupees after all,” he griped, jerking his head away. He might have reluctantly agreed to let Link buy him a gift from here if only because it made practical sense—there were an alarming number of creatures in the desert intent on shooting volts of electricity through his body—but he hadn’t agreed to being treated like an ornament himself, pushed and prodded and stared at.
Isha’s jaw snapped shut as she withdrew the gem, outrage sparking to life behind her eyes, and Link was quick to wave a dismissive hand.
“I’ll worry about my own rupees, thank you,” he said lightly, though Revali recognized the note of reproach in his voice. It was an effort not to stick out his tongue in response. “I told you, this is a gift. Besides,” he added impishly, “I’ll feel better knowing you have some form of protection if another electric keese sneaks up on you in the night.”
Revali bristled. “That was one time!”
“I assume you’ll want it crafted into a ring shape like the jade you showed you me earlier,” Isha interjected, addressing Link exclusively now as she turned towards him. “To hold back her hair, is that right? Earrings will not do her much good.”
“If you can,” Link said, fishing one of Revali’s large jade beads from his pouch and offering it to her as a sample. Revali watched it pass into her hands longingly, his unbound hair damp against the back of his neck in this dratted heat. “It’s fine if it costs a bit more than normal. This isn’t the sort of thing I usually ask you to make.”
“Nonsense,” Isha said briskly, brushing his concern aside. “It’s not as though I’ve never made rings before, and this is quite similar. I assume you brought the necessary materials?”
Link nodded, plunging his hand into his pouch again, although something he found there made him hesitate.
“Do you think…” Withdrawing a large, clear stone, Link half-glanced at Revali before avoiding looking at him altogether. “I know it’s not as practical, but… would a diamond be more traditional?”
Isha frowned. “Traditional in what way?”
“Well…” Link’s voice lowered to a whisper, and abruptly Revali realized that he’d been cut out of the conversation completely—an impression that Isha immediately encouraged by turning her back on him. In retrospect, he might not have needed to insult her entire livelihood earlier. The oppressive heat of this desert had left him admittedly snappish, with even less inclination to temper his tongue than usual.
With nothing to do but wait for them to finish, Revali wandered aimlessly around the dim storefront, looking around. The warm, recessed lighting and mismatched rugs kept the small room on the charming side of elegant, though the isolated pedestals that displayed the shop’s wares atop velvety pillows left no doubt of its luxurious nature. Running a reluctantly curious eye over the glittering pieces of jewelry, Revali noticed with surprise that he recognized most of them from Link’s collection. Perhaps Isha had not been exaggerating after all when she had lovingly called Link her shop’s patron.
Stopping in front of a pair of topaz earrings identical to the ones Link had put on that morning, Revali inspected the neatly penned price tag beneath them. And choked.
“I would still suggest the topaz,” he heard Isha say, the volume of their conversation rising to discernible levels once more. “It is more important for the final piece to suit its wearer than to cling to some tradition that neither of you cares for, I think, and your girlfriend… there is a spark to her.” Isha glanced back at Revali with a smile that showed too many teeth. “Yes, I think topaz will do very nicely.”
“You don’t think ruby would fit her better?” Link said dryly as Revali frowned, still wrapping his head around the thought that here he was Link’s girlfriend, and Isha threw back her head and laughed.
“Perhaps you should wear ruby, to guard against a scalding tongue,” she quipped, bowing her head in thanks as Link passed over a small handful of yellow gems. “Sarqso, my friend. This should be ready for you in about a day or so.”
“Link,” Revali hissed, drawing him aside as Isha wandered towards the back of the shop, still chuckling to herself over whatever joke they’d made at his expense. “Link, listen to me. You cannot spend this kind of money on a… a gift! A silly trinket!”
“What?” Link looked blankly up at Revali, then at the price tag he was gesturing towards furiously, and his expression cleared. “Oh, that! No, don’t worry about it. Isha gives me a good discount because I helped her get started with supplies.” Revali relaxed, somewhat mollified, until Link added casually, “I think she’ll only ask for about half that much.”
“That… is still a hefty sum of money,” Revali argued tightly. “I doubt that I even have that many rupees to rub together.”
Too late, Revali realized that he’d maybe revealed more about the nature of his misgivings than he’d intended to, because Link’s eyes were suddenly understanding above his veil.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said again, grabbing the tip of Revali’s wing to stroke gently. “I’m the one dragging you around, remember? That means it’s my job to make this worth your while.” As an afterthought, he added, “And it’s not a silly trinket. It’s a very serious trinket, and Isha is never going to forgive you for implying otherwise.”
Revali snorted.
“How shall I ever live on?” he asked sarcastically, prompting Link to bury his elbow in Revali’s side. Still, Revali resolved to be nothing but complimentary when they returned to pick up the finished product. Ever since meeting Urbosa, he’d suspected that only a fool would make an enemy of a Gerudo lightly. “Why were you asking her about diamonds, anyway? I thought we were here specifically for the topaz.”
Link hesitated for just a second too long before shrugging.
“No reason,” he said casually. Far too casually, and Revali raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Just a… thought I had. Doesn’t matter.”
“What’s the tradition?” Revali insisted, following as Link headed for the shop’s exit. “It must be something Hylian. I would know if it was Rito.”
“It’s…” Link sighed, and though the veil he wore hid most of his ears, the part Revali could see had turned a sudden, burning red. “I’ve heard that Hylians who are… in love… might sometimes give each other diamond jewelry as a symbol of that. I don’t know, really. It’s just something that I’ve heard.”
Revali’s brow furrowed, and he shot out a wing to catch Link before he could duck away.
“So you wanted to… give me a feather?” he asked, catching onto the closest comparison he could come up with. “That isn’t embarrassing, Link. You do know that the two of us are already…” His eyes flicked back towards where Isha stood, and his beak clicked wryly. “Girlfriends.”
Link’s veil fluttered as he huffed out a laugh.
“I mean, that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Isha’s jewelry really is useful, you know, and the topaz will come in handy even outside of the desert, but…” He hesitated then, his hand sneaking up to tug at his earring—or, no. No, he was toying with the feathered braid behind it, tucked discreetly beneath his veil. “It did occur to me that… well, I don’t have feathers to give you, do I? People see a piece of you whenever they look at me. I guess it would be… nice? If they saw something from me when they looked at you.”
It was touchingly sweet and utterly corny, and Revali dipped his beak to brush against Link’s face, suppressing a smirk.
“Let me get this straight,” he said with low delight. “You essentially planned on tying a feather into my hair without telling me?”
“Oh, stop it,” Link laughed, slapping him away half-heartedly. “It’s just a gift, okay? You don’t even have to wear it if you don’t like it… though I think Isha’s right.” Although the veil hid Link’s grin, Revali could see it in his eyes. “Topaz will look good on you.”
“Of course it will,” Revali agreed haughtily, privately resolving to wear the thing daily whether he liked it or not. He’d always imagined that if Link had feathers, they’d be a sort of golden yellow… much like topaz, in fact. “Now, are you ready to drag me around some more? I’ll warn you up front that you’ll have to try extra hard to make this place worth my while.”
Link ran his eyes over Revali’s no doubt sweatily bedraggled appearance and grinned, flicking one of Revali’s looped braids.
“Drinks, maybe?” he suggested as Revali frowned, swatting him away. “I hear good things about the Noble Pursuit. They might even let me try one this time, though if they don’t, at least they keep ice at the bar.”
Anything with ice sounded like a spectacular notion, but before they could leave, Isha stopped them.
“Oh, Link!” she called, looking up from her workbench. “Could you come here for just a moment? I have a few questions to ask before I get started.”
Glancing up at Revali, Link shrugged apologetically.
“Sorry, Vali. Drinks in a minute,” he promised with a wink before swaying towards the back of the store to talk quietly with Isha, leaning over her desk as she sketched out a few quick designs. Really, he was a little too good in that outfit sometimes.
Another customer walked into the store as he waited—a Hylian woman with a pinched, unpleasant face who looked around with greedy interest. Though he thought he wouldn’t have noticed such a thing normally, today his eyes were quick to pick out the diamond ring prominent on her finger, and he felt a flash of interest. Something about that Hylian custom had sounded vaguely familiar once Link explained it, though he still didn’t understand why the idea of it had made Link blush like that. It sounded pretty straightforward to him, and Link had been far from reluctant to express his affection for Revali in other ways.
Curious to see what had caught his eye, the woman leaned over the pedestal with Revali, and her nose wrinkled up.
“Topaz,” she muttered. “Not a fan, really. Yellow washes me out.” Catching sight of the diamond circlet on a neighboring pedestal, her entire face brightened. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”
“Are you shopping for someone?” Revali asked, his curiosity overcoming his dislike of idle conversation. Maybe he should get something like that for Link… eventually, once he’d saved up some money and convinced Isha to stop staring daggers at him. It wouldn’t hurt to embrace a few Hylian traditions when Link had so readily adopted everything Rito, and Link did seem to like jewelry.
The woman laughed.
“Yeah, myself,” she said dryly. “My husband owes this to me, honestly. I was this close to divorcing him after that terrible honeymoon we went on. I might have done it if he hadn’t given me armfuls of baked apples as an apology. I’ve never been so bored and cold in my life… oh, but you’re from Rito Village, right?” she asked, looking Revali over. “You should know exactly what I’m talking about then.”
Revali stiffened in angry realization.
“I can’t say that I do,” he bit out, resolving to never attempt small talk with a stranger again. “Didn’t he already give you that? That should more than make up for whatever emotional distress such a terrible trip must have caused.”
He flicked a feather towards the ring on her finger, and the woman blinked in surprise.
“Well, of course he gave me this,” she said, holding her hand up to display the ring more clearly. “It’s a wedding ring. He’s my husband. We’re married.”
Abruptly, Revali realized why the tradition had sounded familiar.
“Done!” Link said, reappearing beside Revali to hold his wing. Eyeing the woman sideways, Link frowned in recognition but didn’t address her. “Are you ready to go?”
Revali didn’t respond, his mind still caught on the words ‘married’ and ‘husband’ and Link’s bright red blush. Ohhhhh. Oh.
Oh.
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upontheshelfreviews · 4 years
Text
Whenever I discuss Sleeping Beauty with someone who doesn’t share my enthusiasm for Disney, they have an irksome tendency to get it muddled with Snow White; their excuse being “it has the same plot”. I’ll admit, there are some surface similarities that even the most casual viewer can pick up on: a fairytale where a princess is forced into unconsciousness and wakes up with some necking, the comic relief and villain being the most beloved characters, a little frolic in the forest with animals, the antagonist plunging off a cliff, you get the idea. In fact, Sleeping Beauty even reuses some discarded story beats from Snow White, mainly our couple dancing on a cloud and the villain capturing the prince to prevent him from waking his princess. Yet despite that, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are two wholly different movies shaped by the era and talents of the time.
I’ve discussed how Walt Disney was never one to stick to a repeated formula, no matter how successful it was. He must have noticed the parallels between his first movie and this one, but decided to make one crucial change for Sleeping Beauty that would forever differentiate the two: the look. We all know the traditional Disney house style: round, soft shapes, big eyes; charming as it was and still is, Walt was sick of it after several decades. Meanwhile, artists like Mary Blair and Eyvind Earle were producing gorgeous concept art that rarely made a perfect translation into the Disney house style.
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Walt wanted to make a feature that took the pop artistry of their designs and made the animation work for it instead of the other way around – which brings us to another animation studio that was doing well at the time, United Pictures Animation, or UPA.
UPA didn’t have the kind of budget Disney normally had for their animated projects, but what they lacked in fluidity they made up for in style. Watch The Tell-Tale Heart, Gerald McBoing-Boing and Rooty-Toot-Toot to see what I mean. UPA were pioneers of limited animation, taking their scant resources and creating some striking visuals with bold geometric designs. Through this, they defined the look of 50’s animation. Though perhaps unintentional, Sleeping Beauty comes across as Disney’s response to UPA, or what would happen if UPA had the funds they deserved. The characters’ contours are angular but effortlessly graceful, defining their inherent dignity and royalty. And the colors, ohhh the colors…
Because of the immense amount of work required to animate in this difficult new style (and in the Cinemascope ratio, no less) as well as story troubles and Walt barely supervising the animation studio now that he had his hands full with live-action films, television, and a theme park, Sleeping Beauty had a turbulent production that lasted the entirety of the 1950s. For a time, Chuck Jones of Looney Tunes fame was set to direct. Director Wilfred Jackson suffered a heart attack partway through production and Eric Larson, one of the Nine Old Men, took the mantle from there before Walt Disney replaced him Clyde Geronimi. And even after that, Wolfgang Reitherman teamed up with Geronimi as co-director to get the film finished after no less than three delays. Also, Don Bluth got his foot in the door as an assistant animator for this feature, beginning his short-lived but impactful tenure at Disney. Did all this hamper the movie, or did they succeed in what they set out to accomplish?
Well, one of the reasons why this review took so long was because I had a hard time not repeating “MOVIE PRETTY” and “MALEFICENT AWESOME” over and over. Make what you will of that.
The story begins as most fairy tales do with your typical king, Stefan, and his queen suddenly blessed with a baby girl after years of wishing for a child. They christen their daughter Aurora (middle name Borealis, localized entirely within their castle) and throw a huge celebration in her honor. People come from all over the kingdom to pay homage to the princess and OSMKFKSBFHFGILWBHBFC…
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Movie pretty…
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Movie pretty…
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MOVIE PRETTIEEEEEE…
John Hench, Academy Award-winning special effects man and art director, turned Walt on to the idea of basing the look of Sleeping Beauty on classic medieval artwork. Thanks to him and Eyvind Earle’s insanely detailed designs and backgrounds, this is one of Disney’s most visually distinct and beautiful films. A single still from this feature wouldn’t feel out of place up in The Cloisters.
Among the party guests is King Stefan’s old friend King Hubert (Bill Thompson) bringing his young son Prince Philip. Stefan and Hubert wish to unite their two kingdoms and formally announce Philip’s betrothal to the infant Aurora.
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“We were going to do it during the second trimester, but we decided to wait until she was more mature.”
By the way, your eyes are not deceiving you. That is Aurora’s mother, Queen Leah, alive and well and named. And frabjous day calloo callay, she even gets some lines! The most common joke about Disney princesses is that they don’t have moms (even Ralph Breaks The Internet went out of its way to highlight that), so as a hardcore Disney fan who often has to put up with this generalization, Leah’s existence leaves me feeling vindicated.
Once that happy revelation is out of the way, we’re introduced to our main protagonists.
Oh, you thought I was referring to Philip and Aurora? Nonononono, my friends. THESE are the true heroes of Sleeping Beauty, the Three Good Fairies.
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The fairies started off as one-note side characters sharing the same personality. Think pre-Ducktales-reboot Huey, Dewey, and Louie in dresses. But the studio had a difficult time giving Aurora more depth and was having a lot more fun developing the fairies. Naturally, they became so fascinating and appealing that more screentime was given over to them. Now the story’s carried by three wonderfully fleshed out ladies who are distinct in both looks and personality: Flora’s the pragmatic tradition-adhering leader, Fauna’s the sweet scatterbrain who mediates, and Merryweather’s the feisty young upstart.
With the plot now focused on characters who held a traditionally minor role, it’s easy to read this as a perspective-flipped version of the fairytale, but there’s more to it than that. Remember in my Clash of the Titans review how I mentioned the gods literally play chess using the heroes as pieces? I tend to view the main conflict of Sleeping Beauty in the same way. The Three Fairies and Maleficent are in a constant game of good vs. evil, moving Aurora, Philip, and the rest of the royals as pawns in their plans. There’s plenty of plotting and intrigue, with both sides constantly guessing and second-guessing the other’s next maneuver, and even if you’re already familiar with the story’s trajectory you’re still left on the edge of your seat as it inches towards the fiery climax.
And dare I say it but…the fairies and their power dynamic make this Disney’s most feminist film. Yes, really. You could argue that some of the other animated movies from the Renaissance and Revival period have more notable, stronger female protagonists, and many of the live-action remakes try to be woke without really grasping the concept, but consider this: The cast of Sleeping Beauty is mostly female, the leads aren’t objectified in any manner (that is if you count Aurora as a supporting character), nor does their gender factor into their competency, each one differs in age and body type, and most of them are working together towards a common goal as opposed to against each other. Name a movie in the past decade that does the same and still manages to be entertaining (no, really, I’d love to see it). There’s even one scene that unintentionally provides great commentary on the divides in the feminist movement, but more on that later.
Flora and Fauna bless the baby with beauty and song respectively which are accompanied by a short chorus and some sumptuous graphics. I don’t think I need to reiterate that when this movie goes extra with the visuals, it GOES EXTRA with the visuals. Next comes Merryweather with her gift. To this day, no one knows what Merryweather intended to give Aurora. Flora’s the most traditionally feminine of the three so her giving Aurora beauty comes as no surprise. By comparison, Merryweather is the most forward (or unconventional, depending on your point of view). I wouldn’t put it past her to favor Aurora with intelligence, or humor, or passion, or creativity or humility or confidence or decisiveness or physical fitness or great swordsmanship or telekinesis or ice powers or one million YouTube subscribers or comfort in her female sexuality.
Me personally, I think I’ve got the best gift of all:
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“O Princess, my gift shall be…getting all reviews posted on time for once!”
Alas, before Merryweather can bestow such a wondrous quality upon the child, she’s interrupted by a horny party crasher.
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Maleficent. The Mistress of All Evil. Chernabog’s right-hand witch. The Disney villain all Disney villains strive to be. She has it all – the looks, the poise, the power, the laugh, the cunning, the ruthlessness! She doesn’t even need to sing a song because she’s already awesome enough without one. Marc Davis’ gothic design cuts a fine figure and Eleanor Audley’s subtle icy voicework is trés magnifique. As much as I enjoy Audley as Cinderella’s evil stepmother, Lady Tremaine was but an appetizer in comparison to the four-course banquet of pure villainy that is Maleficent.
This leads to a small point of contention some viewers have with Maleficent in spite of hitting top marks elsewhere: her motivation. Putting a hit out on a child for not getting invited to a measly party? Not exactly compelling, is it? And yes, it isn’t a deep motive…is what I would say if I wasn’t well-versed in folkloric tradition. In the original fairy tale and the movie (though it isn’t outright stated in the latter), the party for Aurora isn’t just your average royal kegger, it’s a christening. Back in ye olden days, christenings were very big deals. To not receive an invitation to one was a grave insult, so not extending an invite to your semi-omnipotent magical neighbor is just asking for trouble. In the fairy tale’s defense, no one had seen the evil fairy for years and assumed she was dead, though I can’t imagine how nobody thought Maleficent wouldn’t find about it eventually.
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“You dare to deny me, foolish mortals? Very well, then! I shall have my own christening! With blackjack! And strumpets!”
Maleficent is proof that sometimes you don’t have to have an elaborate backstory, a god complex, a tragic past or the unfortunate luck to be on the wrong side of a conflict. Sometimes all you need is some magic, brains, class, and a whole lot of flair to be a perfect, intimidating, and unquestionably iconic villain.
Basically what I’m saying is these movies never happened. Got it?
Maleficent is disarmingly polite over being snubbed, even after Merryweather bluntly tells her nobody wanted her to come. She even brought her own gift for the baby – sixteen years of life cut short by the prick of a spinning wheel spindle, because why change into a dragon and destroy everyone all at once when you can draw the torture out over an agonizingly long time and deliver the coup de grace in the prime of a young woman’s life? That’s how Maleficent rolls, baby. She could dole out capital punishment when she has to without batting an eyelid, but causing human suffering is her bread and butter.
Stefan begs the fairies to undo Maleficent’s curse, but it’s too strong for them. Flora and Fauna insist, however, that Merryweather can use her gift to lessen the spell’s potency. Now instead of dying from that fatal prick, Aurora will sleep until she receives True Love’s Kiss™. Stefan’s not one to throw caution to the wind though, so he orders all of the kingdom’s spinning wheels to be burned in the meantime.
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I just pray his kingdom’s economy wasn’t based on textiles otherwise they’re screwed.
As the peasantry celebrates Guy Fawkes Day several centuries early, the fairies ponder their next move. They’ve been around long enough to know that removing spinning wheels from the equation won’t put a damper on Maleficent’s scheme. This scene is incredibly effective in establishing two things:
Maleficent’s near-omniscient presence in the film
How well the fairies’ differing  personalities play off each other
Maleficent rarely miscalculates her opponents, and that guile puts her one step ahead of the heroes, making her one of the few Disney villains to nearly reach their goal. The only mistake she makes in the entire movie is trusting her henchmen to do their jobs when she isn’t directly supervising them, though that’s more on them than her. The different methods the fairies propose to deal with Maleficent fantastically illustrate what kind of people they are. Fauna believes she’s just a miserable soul who could be reasoned with if they talk things over. Merryweather would rather take the fight to Maleficent and turn her into a toad. Flora, however, is wise enough to know Maleficent’s too wicked to plead to, too clever to bargain with and too strong to face head-on, so their best course of action is to focus on protecting Aurora through any means necessary. Her initial idea is to enchant the princess into a flower (her namesake is her specialty, after all), but Merryweather reminds her that Maleficent enjoys creating bitter frosts just to kill her flowers.
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“Well we could try that but stick her in a castle with a beast for a while…nah, that’ll never work.”
Yet never one to give up, Flora alters the plan so they’ll raise Aurora as a peasant girl out in the woods. This means disguising themselves as humans and giving up magic for sixteen years so as to not attract Maleficent, but that amount of time is like twenty minutes to the fair folk. Stefan and Leah reluctantly agree to the plan, and the fairies spirit little Aurora away from the castle that very night.
Sixteen years later, Maleficent is infuriated that her minions have failed to locate Aurora, even more so when one reveals that they’ve spent the whole time looking for a baby instead of a maturing woman. In an interview with the Rotoscopers podcast, Don Bluth called Maleficent a very flat antagonist because she surrounds lackeys dumber than her so she could be the smart one among them and, again, her supposed lack of motivation. But come on, let’s not entirely condemn the bad guys for having too much faith in their underlings. It’s difficult to find minions smart enough to carry out orders but dumb enough to stay unquestioningly loyal. Usually you have to register as Republican in order to get some.
Maleficent gets her anger out in the most therapeutic way – throwing lightning bolts at her orcs, awesome – then leaves the job of finding Aurora up to her trusty raven Diablo. We then finally see the grown-up Aurora herself, whom the fairies renamed Briar Rose as a nod to the Brothers Grimm version of this tale.
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I know I’ve made the occasional case for the princesses from Walt’s era compared to the present day, and yet I have a hard time defending how…I don’t want to say bland. Bland would mean there’s nothing interesting about Aurora, and that’s a lie. She’s gorgeously designed and drawn, and even in her peasant dress she has an air of elegance and sophistication. She carries herself like a queen; her innate royalty reveals itself in her graceful movements. Mary Costa also gifts her with an excellent set of pipes. Hearing her song echoing through the forest is nothing short of magical. She’s a flower child who can talk to animals. She has dreams of escaping her adopted aunts’ loving but stifling care and being allowed to grow up, see the world, actually talk to people, and even find a life partner. She has some strong potential. It’s not that Aurora’s boring, she’s just not quite as developed as we’ve come to expect our animated female protagonists to be. I’m grateful for what we’ve got, but I only wish we could have more. What was her childhood like? How did she learn to communicate with animals? When did the fairies trust her enough to let her spend time out on her own? Did the fairies ever subtly teach her lessons in royalty through lessons and games? Heck, nobody bothers to keep her informed about Maleficent or her curse, and they act surprised when she’s shocked to learn she was a princess the whole time. I want to see what Aurora could have been like if she had known the truth already and what kind of steps she would take to defend herself. Blame the source material for this; it’s difficult to write a compelling main character when she’s supposed to sleep through most of her story.
The fairies send Aurora on a fetch quest so they can plan a surprise birthday party for her. Merryweather wants to bring their magic wands back out for the job, but Flora insists on taking no chances now that they’re in the home stretch. Fauna gets to live her dream of baking an elaborate cake (it’s thanks to her referring to a teaspoon as a “tsp” that I do it too), and Flora insists on making Aurora a gown fit for a princess using Merryweather as a dummy. And we also get one of the best burns in the Disney canon:
Merryweather: It looks awful! Flora: That’s because it’s on you, dear.
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The fairies fall into reminiscing over raising Aurora and get teary over having to let her go soon. I see where they’re coming from, they’re the ones who raised her for sixteen years. They must have so many fond memories, not to mention they put all that work into learning to properly raise a child let alone live like normal human beings seeing how two of them still can’t sew or cook without magic. I wonder what that was like –
No, NO, you CGI abominations DO NOT exist! Go back to the fires from whence you came!!
“Ugh, I’m gonna need something strong to expunge that from my eyes.”
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There we go.
Aurora wanders through the forest, drawing out the usual bevy of cute woodland critters with her singing. She also catches the attention of a grown-up Prince Philip (Billy Shirley) who’s more dashing and considerably less blonde than he was sixteen years ago.
By this point, the Disney animators were far more confident in their ability to draw realistic but expressive leading men, hence Philip’s expanded role from the story. He’s also the first Disney prince to have a personality; not a terribly deep or defined one, but it’s a step up from his nameless plot-device predecessors. There are some signs of him being a hopeless romantic, he gets a few funny lines here and there, has a sturdy friendship with his horse Samson, and is fiercely determined when it’s time to kick some ass. He does have the same problem as Aurora in he randomly decides to stop talking for the rest of the movie once he reaches the midway mark (at least Aurora has the excuse that she’s sleeping for that remainder), but I suppose you could chalk this up as to him wanting to spite Maleficent with his silence.
The animals steal some of Philip’s clothes so they can pretend to be Aurora’s dream prince. Aurora plays along as she sings the movie’s standout song, “Once Upon a Dream”. Philip and Samson watch until he smooths his way into the dance. Once Aurora discovers the switch, Philip gets a little too up in her personal space for my liking, constantly grabbing her hand so she doesn’t run off and pulling her closer to him. Not as horrible as what the prince does to the sleeping princess in the original story (a questionably consensual kiss is a trifle compared to how the scumbag of a prince treats her there), but still a bit iffy.
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“It’s a good thing my aunts taught me to never go anywhere without a loaded pistol taped to my back.”
But once Philip backs off a little and joins in her song, they both dance together and OEHSGBJSGBLL…
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I think I’m going to need surgery to get my jaw off the floor back into its proper place thanks to this movie.
As per Disney tradition, Aurora and Philip’s waltz means the two are head over heels in love with each other. But when it comes time to finally exchange names, Aurora panics and runs away, though she sticks around long enough to tell Philip to meet her family at the cottage that evening.
Back at home, the party preparations aren’t proceeding as planned. Flora’s dress looks as good as my attempts at dressmaking, and Fauna’s dessert wouldn’t feel out of place on Cake Wrecks.
A fed-up Merryweather reads Flora and Fauna the riot act and convinces them to finally take up their wands again. This produces more desirable results, though Merryweather still gets stuck with cleanup duty.
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Enchanting a broom to come to life and do your dirty work? I don’t see this going wrong in any possible way.
Things start to go south when Flora and Merryweather argue over the dress color and it escalates into a full-blown wizard’s duel. This gag was supposedly based on the animators’ arguments over what was Aurora’s proper dress color. I think they should have compromised and combined both colors to make purple, which would go lovely with Aurora’s violet eyes, but what do I know. I’m just the illustration major writing a blog. Unfortunately, while the fairies remembered to cover every door, window, and crack that could expose their magic, they overlooked the fireplace. The sparkly residue of Flora and Merryweather’s fight fly up the chimney, alerting Diablo to their hideaway.
Going back to what I said earlier about this movie providing some commentary on feminism, consider this: Flora is obsessed with pink, a traditionally female color, and she gives Aurora an attribute that is oft preferred in a woman but not the most important quality, beauty. Merryweather, on the other hand, is all about blue, a color usually geared towards boys, and she has much more common sense and practicality about her. Though Merryweather and Flora are able to put aside their differences in personalities and approaches for a common goal, it’s when they refuse to compromise and begin prioritizing which color – ie. which ideology and extension of themselves – that they want Aurora to step into that they lose sight of what’s important, and allow everything they worked for to collapse on itself. It’s played for laughs very well, sure, but if not’s symbolic of the dichotomy between traditional femininity and modern sensibility that tears apart the feminist movement then I don’t know what is.
The fairies manage to fix their messes in time for Aurora’s return. She’s thrilled with their gifts but shocks them all when she announces her new boyfriend is coming over for dinner. They come clean about her heritage and betrothal to Prince Philip, and Aurora runs up to her room in tears over the fact that she’ll never see her one true love again. That and her entire life has been a lie and she’s being carted off to meet parents she knows nothing about to marry a man she’s never met and rule an entire kingdom with no prior experience or knowledge. But mostly the true love thing.
Meanwhile, Stefan and Hubert are making wedding plans over wine with “Skumps”, the preferred toast between me and my friends. Also adding to the humor is a minstrel who keeps stealing sips until he literally drinks himself under the table.
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This was also his way of getting through the Black Plague, co-opted by the rest of the world six hundred years later.
Philip returns and Hubert goes to greet him. He thinks his son is thrilled at the prospect of marrying Aurora but is disappointed to learn that he’s fallen for an anonymous peasant.
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“At least tell me if she’s royalty in disguise so you don’t elope to Sicily!”
Philip rides back into the woods for his big date, leaving Hubert with the unenviable task of breaking the bad news to Stefan. As for Aurora, the fairies smuggle her into the castle and prep her for her homecoming. She’s still blue over having to ghost her forest hubby though, so the fairies give her some time to herself.
Biiiiiiiiig mistake.
So imagine you’re me, growing up watching this movie on tape on a television set with a very standard but not spectacular sound system. Then years later you download the remastered soundtrack and give it a listen while you’re falling asleep. You’ve got the whole score memorized, the volume is nice and low, it’s all good.
And then, just as you’re drifting off, you hear a ghostly voice singing in your ear “Auroraaa…Auroraaaaa…”
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That reminds me, I haven’t had a chance to talk about the music yet, haven’t I? Forgive me for waiting so long to do so but my reaction to it is equivalent to the visuals. The score is taken straight from the Sleeping Beauty ballet by Tchaikovsky, the same composer as The Nutcracker, and it is lush, sweeping, sumptuous, just…
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While George Bruns was mostly faithful with how the score was represented within the context of the ballet, at certain points he took the same approach as The Nutcracker Prince and rearranged the music order to underscore totally different scenes to staggering effect. The beautifully ominous music where Maleficent appears as a ball of green flame and leads the hypnotized Aurora to her doom? It’s from one of the ballet’s divertissements where Puss in Boots dances with his girlfriend. But tell me which is more fitting for a musical composition such as this – two cats pirouetting around each other in a crowded ballroom, or eerie pitch-black spiral staircases illuminated by green fire as a cursed princess inches closer to her dark destiny against her will?
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The fairies realize their error and frantically search the maze of secret passages for Aurora. Though the princess resists Maleficent’s commands for only a moment, they are still too late to save her from fulfilling the curse. Maleficent gloats and leaves the fairies to wallow in their failure. It’s made even worse as the merrymaking from the oblivious revelers below ring out while they put Aurora to bed in a tower and mourn over her. It’s heartbreaking: they raised and loved her as if she were their own daughter, and they still couldn’t protect her. Everyone talks about “Baby Mine” and Bambi’s mom as huge tearjerkers, but why is this scene constantly forgotten?
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Stupid onions, stupid stupid onions…
Fauna and Merryweather can’t even begin to imagine how heartbroken Stefan and Leah will be, but Flora has a solution: put the kingdom to sleep along with Aurora until she is woken up. I understand her wanting to spare Aurora’s family some pain, but conking out an entire principality for god knows how long to cover up their failure? AND at a time when Europe was all about invading and conquering itself? Are we sure this isn’t just part of Maleficent’s overarching plan for revenge? This sounds more like something she would come up with instead of the leader of the good guys.
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“So what happens if one of the neighboring kingdoms decides to attack while everyone’s sleeping?”
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“Then we’ll put them and their armies to sleep, too.”
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“And once Aurora is saved, both kingdoms will immediately wake up to find themselves thrust into a war they’re barely prepared for, is that correct?”
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“Oh, you’re right, that’s a terrible idea.”
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“Finally, thank you.”
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“I’ll just turn them all into flowers.”
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“THAT’S NOT AN OPTION!!!”
The fairies flitter about the castle grounds spreading their spell over the unwitting royal court, even putting the candles and sconces out. We have another reprise of the “Gifts of Beauty and Song” chorus now altered to sound like a lullaby, providing an interesting bit of symmetry between it and its earlier use in the film. Whereas it first underscored their blessings upon Aurora, now it plays as the fairies are giving the “gift” of sleep to the entire castle.
While Flora knocks out the throne room, she overhears Hubert muttering about Philip eloping with a peasant girl and she makes the connection. The fairies speed to the cottage just as Philip arrives there. But once again Maleficent beats them to the punch. Her goons ambush Philip and she watches them wrestle and bond him with fiendish glee.
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You magnificent, kinky bitch.
Maleficent was only out to capture the one man who could break Aurora’s curse; the fact that he’s really the son of her nemesis’ allies is just icing on the cake. Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather resolve to rescue him from Maleficent’s fortress in the Forbidden Mountain.
Some movies reach the brink of greatness only to falter when it comes to the final act. Sleeping Beauty is not one of them. Everything that happens from the moment we slowly zoom in through the purple mist on to the Forbidden Mountain itself up until the storybook closes is perfection. The perfectly paced action, the animation, the music, Maleficent’s hideaway in all its decaying glory (I swear it’s like Jean Cocteau meets Frank Frazetta meets Giotto) all make for the climax of climaxes.
The fairies shrink to insect size and silently sneak through Maleficent’s creepy domain, narrowly running into guards and gargoyles at every turn. They traverse the stronghold until they find her overseeing a hellish bacchanalia in honor of her supposed victory.
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“My old gaffer would have a thing or two to say if he could see us now.”
Soon Maleficent gets bored and goes to “cheer up” her captive. Then we have it: The Moment.
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I’ve talked about this before, that one small, devious step further the villain takes to make themselves more heinous in our eyes. It’s the Wicked Witch taunting Dorothy with visions of Aunt Em. It’s the Beldam hanging Other Wybie’s remains. It’s virtually everything Heath Ledger’s Joker does. And it is this simple scene where Maleficent details what she plans to do with Philip. She spins “a charming fairy tale come true” of Aurora sleeping without aging, waiting for her prince to come to wake her. And Philip will escape the dungeon, ride to her rescue and prove true love conquers all – in one hundred years, when he’s a broken old husk of a man on the brink of death. DAMN. If you want to know why Maleficent is considered the best of all the Disney villains, it’s not just all her previously praised qualities, it’s her sheer sadism and the pleasure she takes in it.
The fairies enter and free Philip once Maleficent departs. The course of true love never runs smoothly though, so they arm him with the Shield of Virtue (licensed by Carefree Maxi-Pads), and the Sword of Truth to aid in his escape.
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“So, why’s it called the Sword of Truth?”
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“Anyone who’s subjected to it speaks only the truth…as they bleed out and die, of course.”
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“Cool, cool. On an unrelated note, I think I’m gonna go to DC for my honeymoon.”
Diablo sounds the alarm and the Battle With the Forces of Evil kicks off with Philip slashing his Sword of Truth through Maleficent’s goons.
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“I steal lunches from the break room fridge!” “I broke wind last Tuesday and blamed it on the dog!” “I cried like a little girl during The Good Place finale!” “I only wash my hands for NINETEEN seconds at a time!”
Philip makes his getaway on Samson and the music reaches truly operatic levels as Maleficent does everything in her power to end him. Yet Philip soldiers through it like a boss. Crumbling mountainsides, Maleficent hurling lightning from the sky and summoning a forest of thorns to block the way? Fuck that shit, he’s gotta go save his girl.
Then, as Philip cuts his way through the briars, Maleficent looks at her watch, realizes it’s No More Fucking Around O’Clock, zooms over to the castle, throws down the most intimidating challenge ever  –
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“Now you shall deal with me, O Prince, and all the powers of HELL!!”
– and with that, she takes her final form: a massive fire-breathing dragon.
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Every Disney villain who’s gone kaiju in the final act owes everything to this gorgeous terrifying beast. The dragon is an awe-inspiring unholy fusion of style, power and darkness. There’s a reason why she’s the final boss in Fantasmic; the chance to watch a live dragon battle is too cool to pass up.
Speaking of battles, Maleficent’s dragon form was animated by Woolie Reitherman, who previously brought us such gargantuan monster clashes as the T-rex brawl in Fantasia and the escape from Monstro The Whale in Pinocchio. And when you have a dragon confronting a fairytale prince, well, you know what’s coming.
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Maleficent backs Philip on to a cliff surrounded by flames, leaving him only one desperate shot. With a little extra magic from the fairies, he throws his Sword of Truth at Maleficent and it plunges right into her heart.
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“I liked…Frozen 2…more than the first one…”
Maleficent’s spells die with her, clearing the way for Philip. He gives Aurora that wake-up smooch and everyone in the castle slowly rouses, owing their inexplicable simultaneous twenty-minute blackout to the unusually strong wine.
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He can attest to that fact.
The royal families are happily reunited, and the film ends on Flora and Merryweather fighting over Aurora’s dress color yet again as she and Philip waltz together on the clouds using animation Beauty and the Beast would borrow thirty-two years later.
Sleeping Beauty is a movie I can never have on in the background because the moment I look up from my work I am spellbound by it. Do I need to elaborate on how this is one of the most beautiful looking and sounding movies Disney’s ever produced? Sleeping Beauty is the swan song of Disney’s first golden age of animation. For better or for worse, their animation process would switch to the rough, cost-cutting Xerox process starting with their next feature, 101 Dalmatians, and few films would reach Sleeping Beauty’s level of gorgeousness ever since.
Though a massive financial and critical hit on release, it wasn’t enough to make up for the monstrous production costs, not unlike Fantasia. Thankfully, home video sales revived interest and made it Sleeping Beauty of the top-selling VHS tapes of the decade, cementing it as a bonafide classic. It’s one of my favorites from Disney for its stunning visuals, gorgeous music, phenomenal villain and overlooked but great cast characters. Revisit it if you haven’t already.
Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this review, please consider supporting this misfit on Patreon. Patreon supporters receive great perks such as extra votes for movie reviews, movie requests, early sneak-peeks and more! Special thanks to Amelia Jones, Gordhan Rajani and Sam Minden for their contributions!
Artwork by Charles Moss.
Screencaps from animationscreencaps.com
March Review: Sleeping Beauty (1959) Whenever I discuss Sleeping Beauty with someone who doesn't share my enthusiasm for Disney, they have an irksome tendency to get it muddled with Snow White; their excuse being "it has the same plot".
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incarnateirony · 4 years
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S15 Remaster: Grace, Souls, Conversion; Effects of the Fall; The Journey of Man; Self-Godhood and Free Will.
Alright, so over in another thread (x) @curioussubjects​ evoked an interesting take about the effects of the fall vs grace/souls and the meaning of the two, and I remembered having an old post that was a bit of a mess from early S13 where I applied Qabbalistic concepts to SPN not long before the actual... Qabbalistic and Hermetic elements started manifesting (The Shadow, the Empty/Ain Soph, etc) and before I pretty much started flipping theological shit.
The other thread was already becoming titanic with a hodge podge of other philosophical musings between users (I think @winchestersingerautorepair​ and @thecoffeebrain-blog​ are still pending to add their additions to it once life clears them), so we sort of mutually agreed to save this discourse for another thread while I took some time to remaster and update the old talking points.
It's a fundamental point that is generally vaguely brushed over, or often has modern concepts plugged into it in streamlined media form rather than exploration: What makes a soul, what makes existence, what makes meaning in our lives.
This, in fact, is the fundamental question and exploration *of* the soul, which Dabb's SPN seems to be tackling fairly directly.
So let's explore the differences and transitional conversions of grace and soul as we've witnessed in SPN. I'll be starting with my take, but of course, as all philosophical discussions go, this is best a conversation of shared concepts.
Also uh, this post was kinda on-request but is literally ridonculously long. Fuck Andrew Dabb for being the only person on the face of the goddamn planet that can make me write infinite words about esoteric philosophy about a TV show.
So this conversation gets a bit difficult to even know where to begin. I'm going to notch a few notes for everybody to keep in mind: Season 6: Death can not destroy souls. Souls are the most powerful known force in the universe, and he who has the most Is Become God. Season 13: Only god can create new angels, they are the biological definition of an asexually reproductive species (as opposed to sexual orientation identity) -- they are unable to create among themselves, and must be created by a supreme force in command of the grace that creates them. This will passively brush over the oft-discussed topic of angel sexuality as well, but that is far from the core point. Season 14: God calls souls "complicated" to handwave away making new ones. Season 15: Yet again, Belphegor tried to consume souls to become a great power, reflecting S6/7 Castiel's arc.
Now that I've sort of dropped those as a lead-in of applicable concepts, I'd like to move forward.
Now as per my S13 listing, we've all seen this fandom turn over and try to apply human sexuality and identity labels to angels over and over again and, while I understand that and mean no offense to that in general, I feel like approaching it from that angle of the human perspective and lens makes a great deal of the substantiative qualities of SPN's discussion of the human soul vanish into the aether. How are these things related? Let's talk!
Sex isn’t the only part of this discussion. As they are wavelength lifeforms, rather than biological, they aren’t really dependent on biological functions. Many of their native elements pass to their vessels: They don’t eat, sleep, or have general body functions… normally.
Their senses are all sorts of different, too. They see in the astral, they taste and smell in molecular compounds, and especially early-vessel-claiming, they seem to have next to no actual pain response. It’s like, well, some giant wave form stuffed in a meat sack they use like a marionette more than having genuine attachment to. Early on angels could waltz through gunfire without flinching and take a knife to the chest with a very bland look of, “Really?”
When it comes to discussing angels and grace, I'm going to pull some sections from the linked post at the start of this:
We know the biblical concept that all things are made by grace; we know Chuck controls his fake construct, but not the free will of the human soul. Consider Gabriel’s constructed worlds where he can manipulate the fake people inside it and snap them away in veils of blue, they’re just pieces of a machine. “I’m the cage.” The human body is part of the sandbox, but the soul is something beyond it.
If angels are living aspects of grace, wavelengths of celestial intent for Chuck’s machinations, the programs that keep the matrix in order – and fallen angels are the rogue programs – they’re still relatively connected to being just… an animated, if intelligent rock or any other piece of the universe. To use more Matrix terms: Just more lines of code. But Castiel’s break in that was contact with his profound bond with Dean that left a mark on him, a brand, just like Balthazar’s soul claims. This tie was powerful enough to be stronger than even Amara’s connection to Dean, for example.
The human soul is the essence of the one true good, realistically – The One Thing that exists, truly, by which all other things come, the Prima Materia – “What Jack did wasn’t evil, it was the absence of good.” – this is actually a hermetic concept but that’s a whole other bag of words, that’s how I quoted that line before the episode aired from the title alone but MOVING ON
If we look at Eileen for example, her ghost is still deaf. Her body/cage/vessel in life never introduced her consciousness, her humanity, to the tactile sense of sound as it exists within Chuck’s sandbox, ergo her spirit doesn’t know it. But it is the soul, like the sleeper, seeking the meaning of its existence and where it is home that commands the body, and leaves the body, and ends up in chuck’s other matrixes of control like heaven and hell that keep people distracted, keep humans from returning to the primordial man that rivals or maybe even betters God.
That all said, human Cas for example suddenly had the full awareness of experience, rather than an autonomous sentient part of the universe chained to divine intent, free or not; that freedom and liberty came by way of the human soul. (Per metatron, Season 8 finale, “When you die and your soul comes to heaven,”)  But with his tie to Dean, and humanity, and a soul his hands laid on, the extraction of his grace also left… but what? A soul born of Dean, really.
Whenever his grace came back, that universal power and awareness, he lost those senses, but he didn’t lose many of the attributes that came with. In fact he pined for them.
Also if we go Jungian with the inky man/shadow as the primordial man or spirit of man, Anthropos, while it didn’t reflect Lucifer, Billie, or soulless Jack it reflected Castiel.
I’ve held the theory that Castiel still has a soul like the nucleus of an egg buried beneath a titanic presence of universal power.
I’d also further endorse this by pointing out while metatron cited Cas having a soul in the S8 finale, when Jack lost his, neither Dean nor Cas thought Cas could empathize as well as Sam could.
In example, Castiel is the only one the Shadow reflected, not Billie, not Soulless Jack, not Lucifer, just Castiel; I’ve even gone so far as to speculate that the smiley attempt at communication was the sort of subconscious borg having the essence of Jack’s soul trying to communicate with his spirit/mind otherwise alert based on consumed grace in the Empty. Speculation, yes, but… potentially loudly resonant.
The journey of man to self-godhood is a complex and tangled affair, traveling through facets of the self represented by a wide array of *ideas* we have begun to face in the show (including color schemes Dabb has actively employed)
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If you venture into my shorthand visual post about The Shadow, Anima, Animus, and the Self (x) you'll find how the show has chosen to address this. Similarly, the masculine and feminine paths of universal progenation would be worth a cursory read (x).
Similarly, @winchestersingerautorepair​ recently sent me a chart from a 1973 book titled "The Colors of Love" discussing Hellenistic use of color in association (which, minding alchemy's growth path through time, is hugely relevant). As Maeve said, "John Allen Lee is the mvp by the way. Hes at the crossroads of psychology and LGBT concepts of love and sexuality, and has a fascinating career and life story."
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Before I fully locked on to just how loud Dabb was being in his use of alchemy rather than casually tapping on it, you may remember a series of color metas I built specifically on these very colors (and, let's face it, black light doesn't exist, but blue does, and has similar psychological associations). Click this (x) to go to my color metas on tumblr regarding Optimism, which follows this path. Unfortunately my Nihilism one is either untagged or I only posted it on Pillowfort. But you’ll take note I just sort of avoided/dodged/ignored established fanon color meta in favor of other stuff, just a heads up there if you’re expecting me to follow anyone else’s pre-existing fanon -- it ain’t there.
This is all an aside to the actual question of *souls*, but an important framework to how Dabb is choosing to explore the journey of the soul through its many aspects of Being.
To defer back to what I quoted from my other post about Gabriel's universes: What makes humanity different from the moving bodies performing functions of controlled story, rather than guided elements, inside Gabriel's world? If we were to, say, drift into Doctor Sexyverse, or Cop Proceduralverse, nobody seemed to flinch or even be aware of Sam and Dean breaking the script, they continued on their own paths until Sam and Dean "played their parts". But what made Sam and Dean *different* from them?
Explaining freedom to angels is "a bit like teaching poetry to a fish," said Castiel, now bound to humanity since laying his hands on the human soul in hell that, even the S8 DVD commentary mentions, is how he has come to know, love and, as they say, be "enamored with" humanity. We have seen it now-- blank stares of confusion from breaking their course of action, their function. Their predesigned purpose that they were wavelengths of intent for within the machine. They aren't all so different from Gabriel's creations in the end, with Doctor Sexy's Nurses being not too unlike angels to Chuck. They are there for a path and a reason, and should they be somehow interrupted from that function, they seem to lose all purpose.
To convert this to another method of understanding than "matrix code", in case that isn't sinking in with anyone, think of angels as forces of nature. The hurricane means no malice, it simply exists as a function of or even result of universal laws, and often evokes great rebalancing effects that change the course of history for a huge amount of humans and other creatures that it's basically oblivious to. The hurricane does not understand your feelings much less care about them. It is here to do what it does until it is done with what it does. This very concept is why so many ancient gods are primitive archetypes of natural forces.
If we cease trying to box angels into human perceptions for the want to identify with them in such a representation-light landscape, the field opens up to something infinitely more complicated. Such as: what makes Castiel so different? I've already addressed that, of course, in this post, but let's pitch that as a conversational hook again.
"You want to know why we're meant to stay away from those humans? It's not because we're a danger to them. It's because they're a danger to us."
Now BECAUSE sexuality is the angle this fandom has heavily thrown its discussion chips into beyond the other senses, I'm going to move forward into that topical field:
Anna, talking to Dean, lists a long flurry of reasons to become human, among which sex was stapled. In later seasons, Cas comes up with a different list, but it’s more reflective of his emotive view of humanity, and doesn’t include the sex. Either way, it actually leaves interesting take on the human soul’s function (which is also a silent part of something I’ll get to later** ) as per the trinity of mind-soul-body sometimes called “The Threefold Nature of Man” in a lot of classic mysticism. **
So why would Anna include sex in the list if others can enjoy it? There’s various reasons of taking this into consideration, and I consider most headcanon potentials valid since… you know, there’s really no clear statement on this.
- Most angels have a copilot and that’s just creepy AF - It could be subliminal commentary of wanting to enjoy a native drive for it rather than a learned one, since affections and emotions are also canonically attached to the human condition (as well as the 3fold Nature discussed later). - It could have to do with gradual humanization effects (will discuss shortly) - Misc other.
Barring our specific presumption of why this hangs in the air, the detail is that it simply *does*. Perhaps the truth is between all of these, with each angel unto their own.
Anna lurked, invisibly, on earth observing men as long as she knew. Now, gradual humanization effects is a complete headcanon proposal associated around  all elements to be covered in this discussion. That is to say, most angels that have exhibited sexual behavior and enjoyment of various goods have either been fallen or in their vessels for a LONG TIME, perhaps gradually removing the disassociation from the body and gaining familiarity with its functions.
Yes, we can evoke Balthazar’s sexual activity, but we must also evoke his appreciation for wine and food and music and all of the other things that we have canonically, even mechanically witnessed in Castiel (inability to appreciate food or drink, in example, as an angel.) So WHAT makes Balthazar different that he CAN experience all of these things (beyond the potential of Plothole AF)? There is literally something he has that other angels don’t. The second Cas clicks back to angel, he can’t appreciate food anymore and beer does nothing for him, but Balthazar can enjoy alcohol? There is LITERALLY a difference of template of EVERYTHING going on here, not just sexuality. We can postulate it all we want, but the only one that immediately comes to mind is “gradual humanization”, as we haven’t the FOGGIEST idea how long he has had his vessel. Unless we assume various appreciations of his are Just An Act, but then why not assume it’s performance behavior on the sexuality too? Pick one or the other, don’t run the line on both. (Also if you want to be under the assumption that despite terminal soul dealing it was his first vessel run, I’m going to leave this as a note, and a REMINDER of his meddling in attachment to, handling, trade and use of human souls for his own means, and tuck this aside until we GET to the meaning of human souls.)
The VERY SAME can be said of Gabriel. And Gabriel we KNOW has been on earth as Gabe for a VERY. LONG. TIME. His sweet tooth is what got him busted. Again, it’s not just about his sexuality, it’s his entire composition is somehow DIFFERENT from otherwise canonical function of angels.
Again I point out there’s also a big ??????? on Naomi because again… 400 year old Crowley in Mesopotamia. We have no educated way to even ADDRESS that one because… is it a time warp? WTH??? Even Mark called this a plothole. Literally we have to headcanon how they were even there together before we headcanon what was even going on in a big old pillar of ridiculous headcanon, so I’m going to float that off in a box labeled with a question mark and admit, it’s just random AF. The “fling” is also implied and unclear. So I mean- we’ll just… note that and keep moving on why it’s never impacted my perception of this much.
How long fallen was Lucifer?
Hannah brings an obvious question to mind in challenge to all of my surrounding premises, but this is literally where “choice of experimentation within a vessel” comes into play, as with all of them. I’m human now, this seems like a fun thing to humans, let me try the thing; that’s all I’ve ever read that as. You may have your read of it otherwise, but angels try a lot of things. And I’ll bring this up during canon talk.
The concept of humanization-with-time does have some further established presence of S13. When Lucifer is still an angel but largely drained of his grace, he too begins feeling compulsions of hunger, cold, and basic human instinct he was previously immune to. Diminished power, and the closer one comes to being of Soul Rather than Grace, the more they seem to resonate. Anna carved out her grace to fully enjoy humanity and was born into it, experiencing its gifts of awareness. Cas can no longer fully enjoy humanity as an angel. We don’t know what Balthazar’s status is. And so on. But it appears that by VARIOUS METHODS, such as the depletion of grace or just being a long-assed time to attach to a specific vessel, they do end up ATTAINING various behaviors.
Preparing to speak on Humanized Angels.
What really triggered this premise to me was the recurring humanization of Castiel. And again, this goes far beyond just sexuality preferences. I’m going to do a brief break to get to that ** I marked above about the threefold nature of man before expanding.
** Mind-Soul-Body trinity:
Angels have the mind/spirit (grace) and body, but lack a soul; grace is closer to their natural body’s composition than molecular and transmits a wavelength thought into whatever sack they’re using to operate. But there’s a disconnect here in classic mind-soul-body structure (which is sometimes alternately listed as Body-Spirit-Soul, with Soul as the mind instead, and Spirit in place of the alternate listing of Soul? People swap these terms interchangeably but you’ll find a common pull). There’s multiple takes on this. For example, we’ll go with the standard accepted biblical take as a first ideation of it, considering the various judeochristian influences of SPN.
Please NOTE I’m going to list several variations of this, and have no hard cast “this is the exact model” they’re using, as much as “this is a recurring theme in religion and philosophy”, which, while SPN is rarely 100% accurate to any one specific model, they often call on.
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The EXACT itterations of this vary, and there’s no real saying which exact respective “silent ven diagram” they’re using, but as if a triple circle overlapped with Mind, Body, Spirit with the balance we as humans know at the core. Removing a rung of this strips out major overlap of function.
The inner spirit, insight, will and memory reaching from spirit/mind to body by WAY of the soul, for the spirit to engage the human senses within the constructed universe
CASTIEL
Well, perhaps I’ve been down here with them for too long. There’s seemingly nothing but chaos. But not all bad comes from it. Art. Hope. Love. Dreams.
HANNAH
But t-those are human things.
CASTIEL
Yes.
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To fully understand this chart, I again point to (as earlier in this post) this previous post about primordials, explaining the chain (x), Anima Animus and the Shadow (x) and also its association with the paths on way to enlightenment at the source of creation which is explored, for a particular path, right here (x)
Just another way to stack out this chart, including the adventure of Anima and Animus, as well as the id/ego/superego I’ll discuss soon; However, you can see the literal concept is the same. There’s an inner mind, a central essence of the inner court that reflects close to the aspects of Humanity Cas told Hannah, and then the “living room” of the body, and the senses. Same deal. Again, "I'm the cage."
You see a running theme here?
The Soul is essentially commonly received as a vehicle between the higher mind and the body (as well as possessing aspects of our emotion, and sense of self, such as how Sam lost parts of himself without his soul) That, without which, we are lacking various critical anchors of the human experience that we often see lacking in angels.
This therein raises the challenge, “But Soulless Sam was ALL ABOUT the sex.”
That’s where species difference comes in.
We’ll talk psychology a bit, wherein we have the psychological variances of id, ego and superego rather than just body-soul-mind/spirit. They essentially perform the same functions (base instinct drive, early personality function, learned and refined function with choices etc, to boil it down to super-simplistics).
“According to this Freudian model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role; and the ego is the organized, realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego.” – Freud, Sigmund. The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud. Vol. XIX. Translated from the German under the General Editorship of James Strachey. In collaboration with Anna Freud. Assisted by Alix Strachey and Alan Tyson, Vintage, 1999. [Reprint.] ISBN 0-09-929622-5
A Sam with no soul has his base species survival instinct but his acting mind. A Cas with no soul has HIS base species survival instinct (in lack of sexual reproduction as much as potential learned appreciation under the above spoken methods) for an id, if any, and a curiously arranged body until other elements come into play. The ego and superego, such as the application of a soul, leaves room for the gradual inclusion of preferences to anything within this model, such as angels developing their own ORIENTATION once having a vehicle by which to come through.
There’s a few other points to notice about the transition. The Mind/Spirit is capable of questions and doubts, or faith. “I’m not a hammer, as you call it; I have questions, I have doubts.” - S4 Castiel.
The mind is capable to think and to reason, but complex emotions are a challenge to it without a soul, which also filters our thoughts and memories from upper mind into the body, wherein we gain connectivity to the physical senses and the realm we experience.
But the universe -- the wavelengths of intent that make it function -- simply can not experience itself, any more than any other code running on your computer can experience itself. It is you, the human, that experiences the results of that code, and views and understands it and reaches out to aspects of life through it. Grace, should all things be made by it and through Chuck, as the thing that creates this code/intent of angels -- it simply is, and runs, and functions.
So BACK TO THE HUMANIZATION OF ANGELS,
Castiel has humanized or near-humanized three times and we're pending on a fourth. Briefly in the hospital, he was braindead (lacking Jimmy’s brain function, but instead having his own mind) while his heart remained pumping, meaning the body/vessel was alive, but the remaining grace WAS in fact functioning in place of a mind.
CASTIEL 5.21 I just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain-dead. (…) CASTIEL You could say my batteries are – are drained. DEAN What do you mean? You’re out of angel mojo? CASTIEL I’m saying that I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, and I’m saying that I’m just incredibly… DEAN Human. Wow. Sorry.
However, it was depleted, and this is addressed in effect later on by Metatron removing grace. As grace is removed,
METATRON 8.23 And now something wonderful is going to happen, for me and for you. I want you to live this new life to the fullest. Find a wife. Make babies. And when you die and your soul comes to Heaven, find me. Tell me your story.
Now Castiel goes on to return to himself by going all cannibal and whatnot, but that’s its own story. The simple fact of it is, with the mind housed in a vessel, but the grace attached to it depleted, the body seems to generate something like, equivalent to, or equal to a human soul in its function.
Now to reflect back
2014!CASTIEL 5.04 So, in this way. We’re each a fragment of total perception—just, uh, one compartment in that dragonfly eye of group mind. Now, the key to this total, shared perception—it’s, um, it’s surprisingly physical. 2014!CASTIEL spots DEAN. 2014!CASTIEL Oh. Excuse me, ladies. I think I need to confer with our fearless leader for a minute. Why not go get washed up for the orgy? The WOMEN leave. 2014!CASTIEL You’re all so beautiful. 2014!CASTIEL stands and stretches his back, grunting. DEAN What are you, a hippie? 2014!CASTIEL I thought you’d gotten over trying to label me. (…) 2014!CASTIEL I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I’m sorry, no dice. DEAN What, are you stoned? 2014!CASTIEL Uh, generally, yeah. DEAN What happened to you? 2014!CASTIEL Life. (…) 2014!CASTIEL You want some? DEAN Amphetamines? 2014!CASTIEL It’s the perfect antidote to that absinthe. DEAN Mmm. Don’t get me wrong, Cas. I, uh. I’m happy that the stick is out of your ass, but—what’s going on—w-with the drugs and the orgies and the love-guru crap? 2014!CASTIEL laughs. DEAN What’s so funny? 2014!CASTIEL Dean, I’m not an angel anymore. DEAN What? 2014!CASTIEL Yeah, I went mortal. DEAN What do you mean? How? 2014!CASTIEL I think it had something to do with the other angels leaving. But when they bailed, my mojo just kind of— psshhew!—drained away. And now, you know, I’m practically human. I mean, Dean, I’m all but useless. Last year, broke my foot, laid up for two months. DEAN Wow. 2014!CASTIEL Yeah. DEAN So, you’re human. Well, welcome to the club. 2014!CASTIEL Thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club. And now I’m powerless. I’m hapless, I’m hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It’s the end, baby. That’s what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that’s, that’s just how I roll.
Now, we can try to extrapolate that it’s “all the drugs,” but drugs or not, while decadence includes MORAL decline, it also is this:
dec·a·dence ˈdekədəns/Submit noun moral or cultural decline as characterized by excessive indulgence in pleasure or luxury.
And Cas doesn’t get words wrong (unless he’s trying to make an awkward conversation starter with Dean as what’s almost a routine for them, always in idioms and never in definition). In fact, he has a very on-point vocabulary. How often does someone evoke “Insouciant”?
Calling it decadence defines this as a luxury to Castiel. The entire episode is like One Giant Exposition of the differences: being breakable, prone to decadence, bang a few gongs on the way out. Yes, it includes drugs; hell, he’s now subject to being INFLUENCED by drugs, contrary to being able to drink down the entire bar before “starting to feel something” or needing to drink the whole liquor store before the grace stopped implicitly filtering it enough for him to stagger in on Sam. At some point, Castiel decided these were ALL his coping mechanisms, but this is an adaptation of some period of humanization between late 2009 and 2014.
This could be considered a one-off of Zachariah’s manipulation or whatever if we choose to ignore Edlund saying it was a real universe, but then we get the SAME THING hitting us again in season 9, if under a different, immediate scope rather than “end result.”
9.01 CASTIEL looks at his bloody palm. CASTIEL It hurts. (…) MAN How about we get you some water, hmm? CASTIEL I, uh, I don’t drink water. (…) CASTIEL It’s okay. I don’t eat.
and
9.03 CASTIEL (Chewing on the toothpaste) I’ll be moving on tonight after work. It’s time. The MAN nods and hangs up his towel. CASTIEL Can I ask you something? MAN Sure. CASTIEL walks into one of the bathroom stalls. CASTIEL Do you ever tire of urinating? I’ll never get used to it. (…) HOMELESS MAN You’re new at this, aren’t you? CASTIEL Food… sleep, or passing gas, it’s all very strange. And it’s occurred to me that one day I’m gonna die. CASTIEL and the HOMELESS MAN just look at each other curiously. CASTIEL Well… I better try falling asleep. It’s quite a process, isn’t it? (…)
Now, we’re going to take to the raw moment of Castiel and April,
She kisses him gently on the cheek, but stays close and eventually kisses him on the lips. CASTIEL seems surprised at first but then joins in.
Cas is surprised… and then joins in. Castiel did not expect this, but falls into it of his own action. No force was implied, and the moment leading into it was all of a few seconds, rather than any persistence or insistence.
A few more bits,
APRIL So, that was okay? CASTIEL Very much so. Um… what I did, that was, uh… correct? APRIL Very much so. CASTIEL (Smiling) (…) APRIL So what happens next for you? CASTIEL More of this, I hope. They smile and start making out again.
I don’t exactly get the feeling that she’s entirely leading this situation on all by herself, to the dismay of several gatekeeper ship or sexuality stans.
More elements with regards to humanity in this episode,
CASTIEL I am really enjoying this place. Plentiful food. Good water pressure. Things I never even considered before. There really is a lot to being human, isn’t there? DEAN It ain’t all just burritos and strippers, my friend. CASTIEL Yeah. I understand what you’re saying. SAM You do? CASTIEL Yes, there’s more to humanity than survival. You… look for purpose, and you must not be defeated by anger or despair. Or hedonism, for that matter. DEAN Where does hedonism come into it? CASTIEL Well, my time with April was very educational. SAM Yeah. I mean, I would think that getting killed is something. CASTIEL And having sex. DEAN chokes on his burrito for a second. DEAN You had sex with April? SAM Yeah, that would be where the hedonism comes in.
This isn’t just Castiel talking about having sex for the first time. This is Castiel acknowledging the allure of hedonism for the first time (…not minding the timewarp of 5.04, which didn’t happen Because AU.)
And here, also 9.03, before meeting April CASTIEL is once again wandering through the noise and the people. He is trying to take everything in – he glances from a hot dog stand to a woman’s breasts to a supermarket. The whole place is noisy and crowded and confusing. He is overwhelmed.
In 9.03, among this onslaught of Castiel’s change in visual, sound, sensory, and other instinctual acknowledgment of a change in the senses (see back to the 3Fold Nature and the acquisition of a human soul), we also get Castiel rubbernecking at a woman’s chest for the first time, before encountering April; the transcript doesn’t do the moment proper justice with the pure level of focus directors and editors called to it. In fact, we get slow camera pan and a rubberneck that might as well have ended with him walking-flipping into a trashcan blindside.
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With all of these stacked connotations aside, I find it difficult to interpret anything but it being installed as a yet-again evocation of a difference in function.
Episodes 1 and 3, the first two episodes Castiel is in during season 9 after losing his grace at the end of season 8, DELUGE us with a current of differences of all of his sensory faculties.
Once his state is “corrected,” (for lack of a better term - Castiel seems to yearn for his humanity back through the show) the show makes a point of showing us a reversal as applicable,
SAM What? What are you talking about? CASTIEL When I was human, you know, I had to eat constantly. It was kind of annoying. SAM Yeah, a lot of human things are pretty annoying. CASTIEL But…I enjoyed the taste of food – particularly peanut butter with grape jelly, not jam. Jam I found unsettling. SAM [sitting on the table next to CASTIEL] So, what? Now you can’t taste PB and J? CASTIEL No, I-I taste every molecule. SAM Not the sum of its parts, huh? CASTIEL It’s overwhelming. It’s disgusting. [looks longingly at the sandwich] I miss you, PB and J.
Once again, paradigm shift. What he once appreciated, amidst the VAST wash of senses they told us about, just seems… null now. Something is missing, and something is different. Again, the universe can no longer experience ITSELF.
Now, I’m going to fall back a bit to cover what would possibly be framed as an argument against all of this, but frankly builds into it,
Back in season 6, Meg was UNABASHEDLY FLIRTING WITH CASTIEL and trying to prompt him to “move some furniture around,” and, in a learned “last night on earth” move, Castiel makes a motion in 6.10
Meg grabs Castiel by the neck and kisses him, at the same time removing his sword. Castiel pushes her up against the wall and returns the kiss with interest. MEG: What was that? CASTIEL: I learned that from the pizza man.
NOTICE. LEARNED THAT.
With FORWARD PROMPTING from Meg, and existing example (porn), Castiel did in fact make a move. That is to say, “learned behaviors” and “personal orientation” beyond “species reproductive instinct”. But as made clear by April, this never led anywhere particular, never completed, and while he expressed wanting repeats with April during being human, this is the only actual example we have of it.
In short: throughout the show, Castiel finds new things and tests new things. These new things become bizarre little childlike obsessions at times even. This one… obviously a little less childlike. (clears throat) But again, this is a process of “learned motion.” (though I’m somewhat disturbed that canonically Emmanuel-Cas sees her face and is absolutely horrified at her appearance, meaning this is also not likely even by nature of physical/spiritual attraction as much as personal, almost a demisexual trait with experimental curiosity which, as an independent idea beyond “holy shit she’s a demon”, is a healthy phase.)
But by way of learned motion/acquired taste and function, we then have the question of “why doesn’t Cas repeat this if he clearly enjoyed season 9?” Well, I can name a few. We can go over the fact that Cas simply doesn’t explore social venues that make it ready. Or we can mention his seeming lack of compulsion for it which ...is a topic of this post. Or we can simply reflect to the *challenges* of hedonism and what it will, in this post, continue to implicitly adventure as the cage and trappings of the human body and experience within what we call “life”, which the human soul extends well beyond.
But it leads us to an interesting series of questions about Castiel and Dean’s seemingly changed interactions in season 12, on a subliminal level.
And no, I’m not implying they’re boning. When Dean is no longer getting strung across a variety of cosmic elements to save him directly from the crosshairs of, or from himself, we’re getting this weird vibe of gruff jealousy, bickering, and infighting. As if Castiel, settling in more among them, is channeling increased humanity. Despite being an angel in some crippled capacity still, personality traits acquired from his human period are still there, leading to believe the soul element never ENTIRELY disappeared, as much as with further ding-dang-donged up grace, we have to wonder - is this almost a sliding scale? Or can both run mutually when one doesn’t overshadow the other? The exact specifics of this mechanic would be unclear.
But all of these complexities is why I find it nearly impossible to, in my head, reduce it to the simple “well some like it and-” because I have always read an intentional base-beat of differentiation between the human and angelic experience including, but not limited to, sex.
There’s a subtle hint of some osmosis of this in what I mentioned above with Hannah. “Perhaps I’ve been with them too long.”
CASTIEL
Well, perhaps I’ve been down here with them for too long. There’s seemingly nothing but chaos. But not all bad comes from it. Art. Hope. Love. Dreams.
HANNAH
But t-those are human things.
CASTIEL
Yes.
And so why I find it impossible to just address “angel sexuality” as its own topic. This may just be my brain at work, but I don’t see all of this effort in dividing their experiences, in a show that addresses theology and concepts like the human soul, to be arbitrary and random and I just see SO much beautiful complexity IN the shift of his sexual behaviors, among other operations. It’s not just about Castiel’s sexuality, it’s about addressing the complex creatures that are humans, and what builds us at a core. Frankly, from that end, it doesn’t matter if Cas is bi, ace, straight or pan – Castiel has been human, and wants to be so again. And it, along with other things littered throughout the show, have given us great insights on the soul, or the lack thereof, and all of these beautiful building blocks.
And so to roll away from approaching sexuality so heavily, and instead ball and bundle that up as part of the human experience within the body, the reflection of the human soul, I hook again: The universe can not experience itself more than Windows OS can experience itself; it requires the essence of man to experience the result of the work of grace and by which it finds many things of itself, even within the trappings of a human life.
The fact that humans are afterwards caged elsewhere is a whole other discussion me and others have been holding in the original linked post, so let's step away from that and instead go back to the concept of, far and away beyond sexuality, what makes a soul, and how is it different from the created universe.
If we were to apply these concepts -- angels, bodies of grace, as parts of the universe and how it functions -- versus the irrevocable free will fundamental to the human soul, dividing bodies from just being roving parts of the construct like Gabriel's realms -- to our dialogue in regards to Castiel as our seeming oddball with a crack in his chassis, "And the universe came to humanity, and laid hands on humanity, and fell in love with humanity to come to know it; it abandoned its own purpose and functions due to this connection to the concept of the human soul, and began to live and dream and love as a man, rebelling against its predesigned function; and one day, the orphic child of both the universe and man looked through the eyes of the universe to first see man, and itself was born from the universe unto man, to live and learn as a man and hold its dominion of both human sovereignty and creator of grace, mastering both realms." in regards to Jack's very creation, and why he is such a huge threat to Chuck's power and control of his realm.  
As a powerful creature of grace, he can take and reroute those elements without issue by authoritative command of the independent liberty of the human soul, free thinking and not just a Doctor Sexy Nurse in motion.
But the question is conversion, which we've seen in both directions, be it Castiel acquiring a human soul or Jack converting humans into angels with his command of both of these dominions. The best I could liken it to is AC/DC energy conversion. It is worth noting, however -- grace can be drained without permission, it is not tied to freedom. Humanity is the body of choice: be that humans choosing to surrender that in the name of glory and power to simply become part of universal functions, which isn't so different from choosing to burn one's own soul away in the name of spells, magic or other power; or the human spirit attached to its cage of a body and life still needing to concede and give permission to be taken BY the forces of the universe, surrendering the potential impact of their own choices within their own moving cage to what the universe would will of it.
Ironically, if you use an AC inverter to power a computer or television, the power supply in the device is converting the 120-volt alternating current into a much lower voltage direct current. The sensitive electronic circuits in these devices need low, regulated voltages to work, so you're actually converting DC to AC so it can be changed back into DC again. You can't use straight direct current without the AC to DC inverter because the device's power supply needs the AC power in order to properly step down and regulate the voltage. That is to say, in conversion parts are lost, but they can still be transmitted; so while Castiel was subject to the human experience, he still struggled with parts like dreaming. It was a young, small spark of a soul, converted from another energy form, and likely with his connection to Dean acting as the inverter.
Demons go to the empty; demons are former human souls that corrupted and lost the light that made them inherently "good." That which defines them. They have collapsed to the pressures of Chuck's universes and let their flame go out. But realistically, that's also antagonized by other human souls in hell trying to escape their own torment.
It has been seen, time and again, that the only thing that can destroy a human soul is... the human soul.
*takes a breath*
And now to explore what @curioussubjects​ has been saying about The Shadow as a recycling Bin of souls, which would predate the universe and even Chuck, I simply repeat this segment, to help master-off this post:
If we take the Shadow as the reflection of the collective soul, which then becomes the substantiative Prima Materia through which all things come (x), including even the potential of Chuck and Amara as manifestations of the primitive concept of masculine and feminine, light and dark as among the first thoughts in the cosmos. But in such by it all things are born, even the universe or the gods, in this proposed theory. It is the primitive self asking (per the far-above chart), first–well, WTF, why am I thinking, but after that – who are they, and then who am I, and then eventually who are you, before the end of the soul’s journey on its path is Who Art Thou, long ventured within the constructed realm to learn what it means that we even exist.
Those first thoughts then create the totemic pillars of creation by which it can explore the very meaning of existence, even if its own thoughts have made cages and trappings for itself in the expansion of infinite time, but those cages are themselves the vehicles of higher learning and experience, and without those cages, the rest is for naught.
This is the nature of the Prima Materia, the One Thing by which all comes which I linked above. If the soul and Prima Materia are synonymous, then while the universe comes by grace, then all things -- even grace -- come by way of the raw template of the collective soul, which then structures all resulting thought and experience through an infinite series of independent human experience that defines who were are, independent to ourselves, beyond the vat of primitive consciousness that binds us.
The question even comes, why not just reset time? But I am good with who I am. I am good with who you are. This isn't just a story. It's our lives. So god or no god, you go to hell.
And so the reincarnate journey of the man, through the many deaths and rebirths of Sam and Dean and lessons gained within the universe, begins to lock on to the meaning of the independent self in what it means in full, beyond the challenges sent by the creator that may very well be a reflection of our own primal thoughts, our doubts, our fears, our internalized challenges not too unlike the Shadow which again I raise, and point back to the above-linked protogenic discussion of the masculine and feminine paths: In this premise, are Chuck and Amara anything less than the Animus and Anima of humanity, should the Shadow be their forefather?
The path of alchemy, before it became pursuit of literal gold, was about self completion and sovereignty. The phases I have listed above, as well as a brief overview of Dabb's use of it, but if anyone wants a visual aide in these, check out these three videos (x) (x) (x) and remember that Chuck desperately wants them to believe that nothing Gold can stay, should it complete this path; because should man become Gold, they also become God, and he has no authority here. Because in the end, if we abandon the cages -- be it human bodies or heaven -- in here, in this headspace that is Chuck's, we're all just projections of the primitive man trying to find our independent meaning in life. So in here, we're all the same. So in here, Chuck's all talk. And Chuck's afraid, and even wounded by elements of his own creation fallen into the free hands of man.
And so to FULLY hook back, the effects of the fall --
To be detached in various tiers from the divine spheres of constructed intent, and surrendered unto man, or touched by man, or tied to man, or even converted unto man simply seems to be removing the lines of code that defines the constructed universe and instead leaves only the experience of soul, be it directly gained or by proxy. And with that comes many things -- be that the oft-discussed sexuality of angels or any of their other senses, but also their ability like Castiel to understand "complex" ideas like independent thought and function that is otherwise like "explaining poetry to fish" to his kin. I remind you of Agent Smith in the Matrix, who was essentially infected with the power of the One that completely started warping the laws of the universe and, eventually, left the universe, to become the body of man outside of the universe.
It is the universe falling into man, as man at some point seems to have fallen into the universe. And their child now waits beyond the universe, holding council with Death and the Inky Man over what to do from here.
The human experience is double-sided. By it we learn, experience, and exist; but as chuck designed the sandbox, so too did he the bodies as cages. So be that "hedonism" or anything else, these are limitations and bindings. It is not the limits themselves, as much as what we learn in facing them, that becomes who we are as people, and what meaning we bring to our own existence. And this, some angels themselves have chosen to convert and surrender themselves to, some more successfully than others, but the ultimate point between all of them is "Free Will", whether they like PBJ, sex, or good water pressure at the same time -- something that only comes from divorcing themselves from the divine spheres, when otherwise they're numb to bullets or a knife through the heart. The universe simply operates. Man experiences. The universe learns more of itself only by way of man, as man learns the universe.
There are those who fall that do not embrace humanity, but instead explore their creation. These are rogue programs, but still limited in their function. Be that angling out a line at a river, or just needling humanity as lesser ants. But these do not come to the same essence of humanity that those who choose to fall into it and truly experience it do. They still lack a great deal of motivation or purpose, as in breaking away from their programming without gaining genuine compulsion to want, to seek, to find, they find fascinations between their own strips of code that immerse themselves in, and sit, and observe, still not too unlike Anna before completely divorcing herself from her grace.
It is humanity, be it indirect or direct, that proxies the ability to experience, desire, and enjoy, and that more than anything is the nature of man and his power. It is the path of the Soul between Gevurah and Hesed; from the divine spheres descending, passive intellect and active intellect from the different pillars, and hidden higher learnings, reach by way of Spirit and Mind towards the individual self, strapped across passive and active emotion to learn the individual self. From the angle of man, in the material world, and the body as a manifestation of it, our ego, identity, and other evolutions of the mind TOWARDS the self of individuality lead from Tiferet, by path of the soul, into those emotions to climb the tree towards the divine self. Hell, I'll repost the chart so you don't have to scroll.
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Castiel, the consciousness of the divine, with active spirit and mind, and intellect, descended towards the individual self within the realm of ego and super ego, and learned of them through Dean Winchester, while hedging at the sphere of emotional complexes and the identity of the self by which he chose to fall into the world and humanity, into and below and between the cross paths of the soul, and in those paths attained a soul. Dean Winchester, on the other hand, was lifted to explore the upper spheres in reverse, to understand the divine self gradually, and with time, as we now prepare to face within season 15.
Man is freedom. And some fall into it. But man can conquer the tree of his own ironic fashioning. The only absolute is what thou wills of it.
The rest is commentary.
Let there be gold. But all that is gold does not glimmer.
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Text
Pokémon Sword & Shield: The Novel (Chapter 1 - Pomp & Circumstance)
Part of Pokemon Retold. Find it on A03.
Prologue
-----------------------------
“Exhibition or not, Leon, your pristine record is about to end—when I beat you here today!”
“You know I don’t lose battles, Raihan! Charizard—DYNAMAX!”
Gloria couldn’t stay still in her seat. It was always a treat whenever Raihan and Leon battled—which, to be fair, was quite often even outside of the gym challenge seasons—due to just how intense both were. Raihan had an almost feral air about him once he got into battle, and Leon had such unbidden confidence. Though she was miles and miles away from where they were really battling in Wyndon, as she clutched the little Rotom Phone in her hands, she swore she could feel the crackling of the tension from the two in the air.
A harsh slam! pulled her nose from the device. Throwing a look over her shoulder and the back of the couch, she saw Hop rubbing his head and slowly closing the door behind him. She supposed he had ran into the doorframe. Giggling, she raised a brow at him. “Everythin’ okay over there, you Rapidash?”
“Haha, very funny! But hey, you better hurry up and come with me!” Hop exclaimed. He deftly rounded the corner of the couch and gestured for her to get up. “Oh, you’re watchin’ Lee and Raihan’s exhibition,” he said, “well, just record it! That’s what I do with all of Lee’s matches. But come on, come on!”
Gloria’s mother had now entered the room. She put her hands on her hips and cocked her head. “Now Hop, what on Earth’s got you so riled up?”
“Oh!” Hop whirled around to face her. “My bad, miss. You see, uh, well… My brother Lee said he’s goin’ to give us both a Pokémon today! If that’s alright…?”
Gloria practically fell over the back of the sofa trying to climb over it to reach him and her mother. She grabbed Hop’s hands and made him face her. “Really? We’re—we’re getting a Pokémon today?”
Gloria’s mother let out a hardy laugh. “Yes, that’s fine, children. Just be careful, don’t hurt yourselves. Gloria, don’t forget your bag and phone.”
Hop grinned from ear to ear and pulled his hands free from Gloria’s grasp. “Yes! Come on, Gloria, get that bag of yours and let’s go! No time for dallyin’!”
Gloria nodded and scurried upstairs to find her backpack. She was already dressed for the day, and just needed to get that to carry some things in. Her mind was swimming. A Pokémon! She had avoided getting one up to this point since she felt she would have nothing for it to do and would waste its potential, but, well, if Leon was going to hand one out, she certainly wasn’t about to say no. No idiot would say no to a handout from the champion himself!
Once back downstairs, Hop began to laugh hysterically. “What?” she demanded. “What you laughin’ at me for?”
“That bag!” Hop rasped. “That thing looks like it’ll pull you to the floor!”
Gloria rolled her eyes. The bag had belonged to her mother during the gym challenge she had embarked upon during her teen years. It was massive, but at least it had room for everything she could ever want to fit inside it. “So, we goin’ or what?”
“We got to go get Lee from the Wedgehurst Station, he’s rubbish with directions and says his Charizard’s tired,” Hop said as he wiped amused tears from his eyes. “C’mon, the sooner we get him, the sooner we get a Pokémon!”
“Good luck, you too!” Gloria’s mother called. Gloria waved goodbye and ducked out the door in a heartbeat.
As soon as their feet hit the dirt and they no longer had to worry about her mother overhearing them, Gloria and Hop started chattering to one another. They were more excited and louder than a whole flock of Rookidee on an early Sunday morning.
“So, how’d this come about?” Gloria asked.
“Well, he apparently visited yesterday while I was away at Wedgehurst,” Hop said. “And as I was comin’ back from helpin’ at the station, he just started talkin’ to me and was like, ‘Hey, I’m goin’ to come back tomorrow. Want a Pokémon?’ Of course, I said yes!”
“Did he happen to say what they were? Maybe a Yamper, or a Skwovet? Rookidee would be awesome!” Gloria beamed. “Corviknight is just the most majestic Pokémon!”
“Corviknight?” Hop questioned. “Thought you said Rookidee?”
“Don’t be silly, come off it!” Gloria laughed. “Corviknight evolves from Corvisquire, which evolves from Rookidee.”
“Right, right! Sorry, blond moment there I think,” Hop apologized and rubbed the back of his head nervously.
It wasn’t long before they arrived at Wedgehurst. The two towns might as well have been one town, seeing as they were separated by just a short walk down an uninhabited route. You could practically throw a stone from one to the other, but Wedgehurst stubbornly remained outside of Postwick’s jurisdiction, and was home to its very own train station, a Pokémon center, a clothing shop—anything one could need, just about. Gloria and Hop found that today, its typically plain streets were brimming with movement, and it didn’t take long to see why.
A brilliant glow emanated from the center of town. It threw orange and red lights across the gathered crowd. The fire being blown sky-high was of course from Leon’s Charizard. Leon himself was standing ahead of the formidable Fire Pokémon, striking his unmistakable pose. Everyone nearby, including Hop and Gloria, mimicked him, throwing two fingers into the air. Hop took it just a step farther, however, showing how he had perfected the pose over the years.
“Galar has got the strongest trainers in all of the world!” Leon was bellowing across the crowd. “And I want to keep it that way! So, as always, I want all of you to train as hard as you can! Come after me in the Major League if you can! We can keep showing the rest of the world how to have a champion time!”
Raucous cheering followed. Gloria flinched a little from the sheer noise. She had seen Leon and his fans that seemed to converge from the woodwork whenever he was around before, but that didn’t mean she ever started enjoying the crowds he drew. They were noisy and people acted so strangely around him. She loved him too, but she was nowhere near confident enough to stride up to him and demand his attention like others did.
“Oh, and if it isn’t my biggest fan!” Leon locked eyes on Hop and casually strode over to his little brother. He ruffled Hop’s hair and winked at him. “You’ve grown taller, little boy.”
“Lee! You just saw me yesterday!” Hop remarked, moving Leon’s hand off his head. Leon’s Charizard landed behind Leon and appeared to be watching the gathered crowd carefully. His tail swayed irritably. Gloria acutely became aware of how the Charizard never seemed relaxed. It always seemed so tense and anxious…
Leon turned his attention back to the gathered Wedgehurst mob. “Thank you, thank you, everyone! Now, I’ve got some family business to attend to, so I’ll be seein’ you later!” He waved the people goodbye, then whispered something to his Charizard. And with that, Leon, Hop, and Gloria began to walk back to Postwick. Leon’s Charizard brought up the rear, following much more slowly.
“Oh, Champion Leon, please don’t go just yet! Please let me have an autograph!” A feminine voice practically screeched behind them. Gloria heard Leon’s Charizard growl and turned just in time to see it flare its wings wide and stand tall over the woman that had decided to try to follow them. Gloria couldn’t see the woman or Charizard’s face from where she was standing, but she was quite certain the woman’s eyes were bulging from intimidation, and that Charizard had embers curling from the edge of its muzzle.
“Charizard, easy,” Leon said sternly. “No autographs today, I’m afraid. Really, I’ve got to be home for a while.”
Charizard’s throat rumbled to emphasize his trainer’s point.
“Understood!” the woman choked. She pattered away back into Wedgehurst’s borders.
“Man, Charizard is so cool,” Hop said breathlessly. “And so protective!”
Leon didn’t seem to have much of a response for that. Gloria looked up at him with a bit of a frown, wondering why he had nothing to say about such a comment. Leon’s expression was suddenly very unreadable and stoic. She shook her head and silently followed, listening in as Hop and Leon talked a bit here and there. But even Hop didn’t seem to be able to carry a conversation with him. Leon always had lots to say in public, but Gloria always found it extremely hard to actually talk to him in the few times she had met him in private with Hop. He was so… unyielding…
Back at Hop’s front yard, however, Leon’s bright and sunny persona resumed. He joked a little with them both before chucking three Pokéballs from his belt to the grassy terrain. Hop and Gloria both gazed in wonder at the three creatures that emerged. They had only ever seen these kinds of Pokemon on TV!
--------------------
Hop had never seen Pokémon like these in the flesh before! He had heard of them, of course, and seen their evolved forms in matches on TV. They were incredibly exclusive to Galar itself. Sobble, Grookey, and Scorbunny; the deceptively adorable pre-evolutions to the monstrous Inteleon, Rillaboom, and Cinderace respectively. The Sobble in front of him quickly found its way to a small pond that had formed in their yard, where it settled in and began to lazily paddle about. The Grookey scampered over to the tree overlooking the pond and clambered high up its branches. It grabbed hold of a stick with a few leaves clinging to it, and waved it about happily, spinning in circles. The Scorbunny rapidly tapped its powerful feet against the dirt of the battlefield in their yard, and then started to jog in place. Jogging quickly turned to a full-blown run and small embers kicked up behind the Pokémon’s paws. Nobody was all that concerned, as the flames quickly died out.
Hop copped a smirk and crossed his arms. He looked at Gloria. “Why don’t you go ahead and choose? I’ve got my Wooloo already, after all.”
“Sobble,” Gloria practically spat before he had finished telling her that. “Sobble. It’s so cute. Please.”
Leon laughed and gestured for her to head over to the Pokémon. “Sobble’s all yours, Gloria.”
Gloria gleefully bounced over to the pond, where Sobble gave a start from her sudden movements. Gloria extended an arm slowly toward it, and the Sobble warily moved closer to inspect her hand.
“You goin’ to choose now, Hop?” Leon asked.
“Of course! I’m goin’ to go with Grookey!”
“Oh, you little git, you tricked me!” Gloria gave Hop a disbelieving smile. “You wanted me to pick first so you could get the starter that’s super-effective on mine!”
“You got it!” Hop snickered as he got closer, urging the Grookey to come down from the tree. It earnestly bounced down the trunk and landed on his shoulder, where it accidentally jabbed him with its favorite stick a few times. “Hey, ow—”
Scorbunny looked about the yard with a bit of confusion, and then its gaze settled on Leon himself and the massive Charizard standing at his side. It seemed to cower a little bit as Charizard leaned down to sniff its ears. “Haha, come now Charizard, you’re scarin’ it,” Leon said, walking over to the little Scorbunny. He scooped it up in his arms and scratched between its two ears. Its left foot began to kick rhythmically against his chest. “Charizard’s strict, but kind. It’ll be alright,” he reassured it.
Hop couldn’t help but smile wide at his brother. He was just so perfect with all Pokémon he came across. He seemed to know everything one would ever need to know about them and always made fast friends with new ones. He looked over at the Grookey currently chilling on his right shoulder. “I hope you and I will be good friends too, y’know,” Hop said. “You and me, buddy. Just like Wooloo. I’ll let you meet her soon!”
Grookey gave a happy squeak and bashed the stick against Hop’s shoulder a couple more times.
“Well, that kind of hurts… maybe I’ll get used to it,” Hop muttered to himself.
“So!” Leon clapped his hands and brought everyone’s attention back to him. “Everyone satisfied with their choices?”
Hop glanced at Gloria and saw she was cuddling her new Sobble tight against her chest, much to the creature’s apparent dismay. “Definitely!” she replied without ever looking up at them.
Hop nodded vigorously. “I like Grookey!” Grookey seemed to emphasize the point by jabbing Hop in the ear with its stick. Hop cringed and gently pushed the stick away from his head.
“Good! I’m starved. I’ll get the barbecue goin’, what you think?” Leon asked, slapping a hand to his stomach. He had handed his Scorbunny off to Charizard, who was doing its best to keep his tail flame away from the curious little Pokémon.
“Yes, please!” Hop begged. “I’ll go tell Mum and Dad!”
“Sounds good, I’ll get the grill goin’,” Leon said.
 -------------------------
Another jab to the neck and Hop finally lost his patience. He gently removed the Grookey from his shoulders and set it to the ground. He blocked its advances to get back on him. “Look you,” he said, “you’re cute, but that stick bloody hurts. Stay off my shoulders or stop jabbin’ me, would you?”
It huffed at him and prodded his Wooloo laying next to them. They were outside still and had gathered beneath the shade of the big tree next to the shallow pond. Away from everyone else, Hop enjoyed talking to Wooloo, so he decided the best way to start off his relationship with his new partner would be to talk to it as well. Wooloo was less than affected by Grookey’s jabs. Her thick layer of wool meant the stick barely fazed her. She looked as unaware as ever.
“You know, it’s so weird havin’ Leon over,” Hop said, petting Wooloo’s head gently. He glanced past the two Pokémon over at his brother. He was leaned over the grill. He had begrudgingly removed his cape to prevent it from getting caught in the grill’s stray flames and had even pulled his hair back. A few people were gathered around him and Charizard was laying nearby, lazily flicking its tail to keep Leon’s Scorbunny busy. It appeared to be dozing off on occasion, but every time it did that, its tail would fall flat against the ground, and Scorbunny would seize the chance to land directly on it. In turn, Charizard would jolt awake, causing its tail to lash and throwing Scorbunny from on top of it. Scorbunny must have seen it as a game since it kept coming back.
Hop kind of wished he could have been over there talking to Leon, but some reservation kept him planted in place with his two Pokémon. He always found it hard to talk to Leon whenever it wasn’t private or with just immediate family. Leon had a slightly different persona when others were around and sometimes he could say things that didn’t quite make sense. Hop also couldn’t shake the feeling that he came off as annoying to his brother. Leon had to be dealing with people constantly, all day, every day; having your irritating little brother at your side constantly begging for attention probably wasn’t very fun.
He jumped as Gloria sat down next to him. “Oh, h-hey, Gloria!” he stammered.
“So, why you think Lee gave us Pokémon, anyway?” she asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Do you think Lee’s goin’ to… endorse us?”
“Shut up!” Hop gasped. “You think he’s goin’ to endorse us?”
“I dunno, really,” Gloria giggled, “but why randomly give us three super rare Galarian-exclusive Pokémon if not to give us a head start on the gym challenge, hmm?”
“You’ve got a good point…” Hop said, rubbing his chin. “Man, I hope he does!”
Gloria fell silent for a moment as she looked over at the grill. “Who even are those people?” she asked about the small throng of people gathered around him.
Hop shrugged. “I’m not sure to be honest. But I’m sure they’re just good friends to him or somethin’.”
Gloria sighed. “Yeah, sounds about right.”
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yogaadvise · 4 years
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Top yoga book recommendations
Esther Ekhart
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Your body Your Yoga by Bernie Clark - So much greater than makeup publication. It's composed from the viewpoint that we are as different on the inside as we are on the outside as well as the value of practising yoga exercise from an useful technique, according to the range of movement provided by our very own distinct body.
Living Dharma, the flavour of freedom, Quantity 4 by Burgs - Bringing the Buddha's teachings to life, revealing that they are just as relevant today as they were 2500 years ago.
I am that by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj - an old standard that every serious yogi interested in achieving knowledge ought to read.
Julie Martin
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What is Fascia as well as Why it Matters by David Lesondak - The initial publication to truly give a clear picture for everybody concerning fascia and its properties and also why we really require to start collaborating with this knowledge. You don't need to be a researcher or composition nerd to understand this publication as David has a fantastic, casual design of composing as well as clarifies what he's discussing really clearly. A must-read if you educate yoga!
Awakening the Back by Vanda Scaravelli - A lovely publication created by a leader in the yoga exercise globe. Her job wasn't really fashionable in the early years of the yoga exercise boom, but numerous even more individuals are headed in that direction now. Vanda is accountable for the quote, 'We require to deal with the body, not versus it'.
Healing the Core Injury of Unworthiness by Adyashanti - An amazing book for everyone, as our culture is plagued with the concept that we are not 'worthy'. Adyashanti is a spiritual non-dualistic educator who brings an obtainable high quality to how we can regard as well as ultimately stay in the suggestion of oneness.
James Reeves
Tantra Lit Up by Christopher Wallis - An extremely comprehensive explanation of how Tantra educates most of our modern techniques of yoga
Finding Quality by Jeru Kabbal - Clear, verbalize and stunning. This is the instructor of Esther's initially instructor [Taetske Kleijn] and it's a publication that touched my heart deeply.
Yoga and the Quest for real Self by Stephen Cope - A great read and a terrific tale of the trip right into the globe of yoga
I Touch by John Prendergast - A truly charming review inviting and also being totally attached with our internal globe of thoughts and feelings.
Anat Geiger
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Yoga related: God talks with Arjuna, Yogananda's discourse of the Bhagavad Gita. The job he has actually done is astonishing and there is sufficient motivation below for lots of life times. An additional Gita variation I like is Eknath Easwaran's translation. Beautiful.
Also, anything by Vivekananda. He is incredibly straightforward and also extremely motivating. Whenever I read something by him I feel he eliminates some coat of justifications as well as reasons I indulge in as well as reaches me ideal where it most matters. Raja Yoga - his own commentary on the Sutras of Patanjali - leaves me inspired and also amazed every time.
Poetry: Kabir! Stunning as well as informed. There is so much surprise meaning, delicacy as well as beauty in his words. I obtained a publication with 44 of his thrilled poems from my instructors and I prize it deeply. Here's one of my favourites: Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat. My shoulder is pushed against yours. You will not discover me in stupas, not in Indian shrine rooms, neither in synagogues, neither in basilicas: not in masses, neither kirtans, not in legs winding around your own neck, nor in consuming only vegetables. When you actually search for me, you will certainly see me quickly - you will find me in the smallest home of time. Kabir claims: Trainee, tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath.
How awesome is that?
Buddhism I enjoy the works of Pema Chodron. She is an American Buddhist religious woman with enormous concern, a scrumptious sense of humour as well as a talent with words.
Fiction: I was deeply relocated as well as impressed by Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. It spans numerous lives and lifetimes (in my view) as well as for me it was everything about Karma. It's an intricate book and also worth every effort. Every from time to time I indulge in well-written fantasy stories - excellent v. wicked kind of fights and also challenges!
Marlene Henny
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Moving right into Tranquility by Erich Schiffmann - Wonderfully created as well as quickly reaches the heart of what practising yoga exercise has to do with in easy to understand terms (without all the fluffy brand-new age things). The photographs as well as descriptions of the asanas are clear as well as understandable. I reference it regularly for my own practice as well as for teaching. Get it, read it, like it!
Yoga Spandakarika - The Sacred Texts at the Beginnings of Tantra by Daniel Odier Daniel Odier is a great author as well as his take on the Spandakarika is a lot easier to recognize than several various other translations. What I such as concerning this publication that it that provides an interesting viewpoint and enough info about the actual philosophy of Tantra and also leaves enough location for self-interpretation of the sacred text.
Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga by Sally Kempton - I discovered SO much concerning Hindu sirens, as well as the writer offers the information in an available and compelling way. Each phase, which follows the very same layout, is centred around a specific goddess and consists of reflections to help the reader materialize the goddess as well as her energy. The feminine powers of the world are so interesting. Even assuming regarding them just a tiny little bit as well as taking advantage of them at all can be profound. Certainly recommended!
David Lurey
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The Gleam Sutras, translation and discourse by Loren Roche - A heavy poetic present of consciousness and also living a liberated life.
Dying to be Me by Anita Moorjani - A real 'life after death' story that brings a beautiful point of view on the gift of life as well as exactly how to maintain points basic. This publication also offers attractive insights on just how to make challenging choices and also how to keep those we absolutely love in our hearts
A Brief Background of Nearly Whatever by Expense Bryson - Exactly as the title claims ... Fantastic for those who enjoy facts, insights on evolution and also amazing stories of just how we got below as a human race on this one-of-a-kind planet.
Down the Freeway: The Life of Bob Dylan by Howard Sounes - The tale of the best singer/songwriter of contemporary times (in my viewpoint). I am a big Dylan follower as well as this publication lit up many dark edges of the life of among my idolizers. I highly suggest reading a couple of chapters, after that most likely to YouTube for video clips of that time duration to see him and what was taking place. As well as likewise, much more notably, listen to the songs that are explained in the chapters you read.
Gulp by Mary Roach - A lovely as well as detailed story of our digestive system ... yes, seriously! It's amazing and also you'll never ask yourself once more what they are discussing when somebody states 'fecal transplant' at an alcoholic drink party.
Helen Noakes
Life on Land by Emilie Conrad - enthusiastic, dramatic, deep and also discusses breath motion as well as fascia beautifully.
Awakening the Spine by Vanda Scaravelli - Lovely images, poetic radical and also rebellious.
The Initial Body - Primitive Movement for Yoga Teachers by John Stirk - Totally initial, artistic, deep and also imaginative. A publication for life.
Jennilee Toner
Yoga and the Course of the Urban Mystic by Darren Key - Darren Main's book has actually been required reading for all my 200-hour educator trainees because 2010. It is such an enjoyable and easy means to study the practice and viewpoint of yoga exercise. The light and also fresh way Darren Main authentically explains his own way of dealing with the 8 Limbs of Yoga exercise is delightful.
How Yoga Works by Michael Cockroach and Christie McNally - This publication actually changed the means I came close to practising and teaching yoga. My personal technique and also teaching grew unbelievably after my very initial analysis of this Sutra-inspired tale. It came to be more intimate, a lot more intentional, more deliberate and extra soulful. I have actually needed it ever because in my 300-hour teacher trainings and each re-reading has actually even more assisted to advance my method and also training to new degrees of affection and service.
Katy Appleton
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One Soul as well as Entering as well as in by Danna Faulds - Danna Faulds' verse publications are expressions and understandings to the internal landscape people as humans. I utilize them to supply deepness in the practice and open the area within.
The Diamond in Your Pocket - Gangaji - this book has to do with spiritual awakening in this life time. The common in the extraordinary!
Tracey Uber Cook
Light on Life by BKS Iyengar - This is a fantastic publication to have in one's collection. It is the culmination of Mr Iyengar's understanding from years of practise as well as teaching, weaving with each other Patanjali's 8 Arm or legs of Yoga exercise as well as the 5 Koshas from the Taittriya Upanishad. I have read this book numerous, often times, though never from cover to cover! I always pick it up and look to a page or phase which calls to me as well as each time it speaks something brand-new and profound to me. I have actually utilized it as a resource in teacher trainings and very suggest it to any person wanting to inquire much deeper right into the method and philosophy of yoga.
The Brilliance Sutras, translation as well as commentary by Loren Roche, PhD - Dr Roche has actually invested decades studying and also equating this luminous translation of the ancient Vijnana Bhairava Tantra message. Its 162 knowledgeables sing the tune of Life and Love in between the Devi (Shakti), the innovative power of deep space, and also Bhairava (Shiva), the boundless awareness which embraces Her and also from which She occurs. The verses define the enigma as well as wonder of Life within every thing, assumed and task. Bringing light to the loving understanding which makes all existence possible.
The Heart of Awareness (Ashtavakra Gita) - translation by Thomas Byrom - Referred to in numerous Vedanta circles as 'the highest training following to silence', this is the tune of understanding in all of its boundless types. I like to take it to the coastline as the sun increases, check out a few lines, and also rest in the quiet of the morning.
Marlene Smits
The Absolutely Nothing that Is by Robert Kaplan - more a metaphysical philosophical publication than a yoga exercise publication, 'taking us from Archimedes to Einstein and making fascinating connections between mathematical insights from every age and culture'.
Living in the Heart by Drunvalo Melchizedek - for a description of how to move from the brain-centred experience of truth to that which originates from the heart.
Irina Verwer
The Course Of Technique by Maya Tiwari - A stunning book on Ayurveda for women. Inspiring as well as heartwarming.
After the Euphoria, the Washing by Jack Kornfield - Quick, succinct, funny, and always informing stories.
Feeding Your Demons by Tsultrim Allione - Clearly created, sensible, and thorough instruction.
Nichi Green
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Yoga and also the Quest for the True Self by Stephen Cope - I've simply finished reading this as well as definitely enjoyed it. Written much more like a novel, Stephen is a psychotherapist as well as yoga educator. His insight and experiences of yoga exercise are phenomenal and also he associates a great deal of it to spiritual technique as well as the restorative influence that yoga exercise has when you immerse on your own in it for enough time. Among my leading 10 yoga books!
Gilda Goharian
The Subtle Body by Stefanie Syman - This book is concerning the growth of yoga in the United States as well as exactly how it progressed from an old spiritual technique to a practice that countless Americans position at the centre of their lifestyle. Guide is entertaining and also simple to read.
... Unlike virtually everything by the late Georg Feuerstein, who dedicated his life to the understanding and also technique of yoga exercise! Every one of his publications are thick and scholastic however I can still advise him for his substantial knowledge as well as knowledge. If you ask me to select one I would certainly select Yoga Custom: Its History, Literary Works, Ideology as well as Method. The book supplies a full introduction of every yogic tradition, from the familiar to the lesser-known types. Not always a web page turner however it may be whatever you need if you're interested in yoga exercise viewpoint and background. And also once you begin checking out and get utilized to the design it can be entertaining too.
George Langenberg
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Kriya Yoga: 4 Spiritual Masters as well as a Novice - If you have checked out Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda then you learn about the sages who acquired the highest degree through reflection in the Kriya Yoga family tree. Yoga is a course of Self Realisation as well as through Kriya Yoga exercise you can walk this path.
I read Autobiography of a Yogi in 1998 and also at the time wished that I might fulfill an educator that would show me 'the way' and show me a lot more regarding Raja yoga, reflection and also Pranayama. In 2001 this wish came to life: I satisfied my Guruji (spiritual teacher) in India and obtained Kriya Yoga exercise initiation in 2002. This book is concerning the Kriya Yoga family tree I comply with and also concerning being devout to a living Master. I have found out so a lot under his assistance over the previous 16 years. The lessons and reflections that I share on EkhartYoga are simply an understanding of the depth of the Kriya Yoga method where breath, embodied awareness and dedication collaborated in greater realms of the mind.
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qwerty-the-duck · 5 years
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‘Cuz this post bouta be hella long, Imma out the text under the cut ^U^
Also, here’s the link to some background info to the story for these characters
Welcome To LSS!
So, as you can see I separated these twenty OC’s into 5 groups. I will be going down the groups and from left to right through the characters. But, first a few disclaimers. 
A) I did not draw these in the order that I am introducing them, and my art is already pretty inconsistent so…sorry?
B) These are only the first 20 characters that directly interacted (or are) the main characters of the story. The reasoning was explained in an earlier post
C) All art was done digitally on Medibang, a free art program.
D) As we go down the list the explanations and descriptions of the characters will become vaguer, but I am always down to answer any questions.
E) Lastly, I am not planning on posting any of my writing soon after this post so I will be being less careful about spoilers in this post. I am still going to avoid major things though, so yeah.
At the top is the main four characters, which is why they have full bodies instead of just busts.
Alecs. She is eighteen years old, technically, and is just over five feet tall (153cm.) She has silver (not gray) hair that is lazily parted to one side. Due to a necessary “procedure,” she only has one purple/pink eye. The other is just a socket filled with a special worm, thus eyepatch. She is not a full human, and her body is sexless. She doesn’t really have a gender and doesn’t have sexuality either (as stated before she is not a sexual being) and other people use She/her pronouns but she doesn’t actually care herself. Her body is feminine shaped but a little extra chub on her.
She is quiet and observant. Her emotions are very compact and she really only gets angry when someone is talking sh*t about Bee. She is illiterate and not very knowledgable of the world, making her very dependent on Bee whenever they go on a mission or travel. She isn’t a mean or malicious person but she isn’t altruistic either, really only doing things when she is asked to. She also keeps Bee focused and tries to keep him from starting drama.
She used an old fashioned sword for fighting for a few reasons. One, she has never been practically trained so it’s easy to just swing around. Two, the sword is made of reinforced materials that balance out her overwhelming strength. Three, it was a gift from Bee (daw.)
Being as she is not a real human, her mutations are a little strange. Her offensive mutation is just raw power. She has overwhelming strength due to her body being made mostly of just straight hyper-radiation. Her defensive mutation is endless regeneration, that’s right, she literally cannot die. I want to point out that while she does sound OP, she doesn’t actually do a lot of fighting and can only act when Bee allows her to. 
Alecs gets assigned to the Black Department. She was originally assigned to red, but her lack of social skills and her apathetic attitude lead to concern and she was then moved to Black.
Bee (Benson) (My personal fav) - He is thirty-two years old, and is pretty tall, around six-six (201cm) He has white hair slicked back on top with it shaved on the sides and black (Yes it grows that way naturally, and it actually serves as vital tell of his character) and blue eyes. He often wears dopey and bright clothing with some utility, such as large pocketed pants and boots. Often on his wrist are his dog tags. He has a scar on his left eye that cuts through his black brow. His teeth are jagged and sharp. He is muscular and toned, having a bit of heft to his body. He is our gay son and I love him with my whole being. And he is cisgender male. 
He is the guy who is always smiling. His light humorous attitude comes through is any circumstance and sometimes leads to other people becoming irritated or offended. He is humble but cocky at the sometimes, only speaking the honest truth about situations. He is a bit of a loveable asshole, constantly taking the piss out of a person or situation. He’s a great teammate but performs better alone, often taking is out route in a plan without risking others. He pretty much takes care of Alecs as like an older brother but isn’t always great at it. 
Bee uses his bare fists to fight. He is part of the “military” - an elite selection of mutants who handle tasks deemed too difficult for other citizens to handle. He is well versed in several weapons and fighting styles but a more mixed style of hand-to-hand works best with his mutations and personality on the field. 
Bee is a Clan Breed mutant. His two powers stem from his one mutation. Due to his role in the military, his mutation has been named by his comrades and authorities. His mutation (named Beelzebub) allows him to convert multiple forms of energy into his own, most efficiently through ingestion. The offensive power from this is the ability to use this as his own strength, literally, like, he is strong boi. His defensive power is a little cheat. Not only can he absorb the energy from the attack, negating damage, but he can also use energy to heal injuries and combat fatigue. But with such a one-sided power there is always a catch. He does have to be careful since his power does originally come from hyper-radiation. While he can use other forms of energy, his body depends on HR, when he loses too much he falls into a primal type of state and just kinda tries to eat everything. This leads to Bee depending mostly on his military and physical training over the use of his powers.
Bee is in the Red department. His prowess for battle, as well as the versatility of his mutation, made him a great battle asset. (The the fact that he is Military would have told them that but whatever.)
Kat - Kat is an unknown age and is five-ten in height (177cm.) She has bright purple hair (yes, naturally) and medium brown eyes. She has a slimmer build but is toned. On her sides are zipper-like black shapes that run from her navel around her back to the other side.  When fighting, she often wears smaller articles of clothing, due to her defensive mutation, but otherwise, she wears casual, lounging clothes. Kat is pansexual and is in a relationship with Ric. She is cisgender female but can change to a male-sex body if need be.
Kat is a kind person if you are kind to her. She is a mutual respect kind of woman who is stern, cool and collected but has a big heart. She is like the vodka aunt but more responsible. She has an unexplained knowledge of the history of the world.
Kat has a combat knife but is able to manage with several types of weapons and uses her offensive mutation to turn whatever surrounding objects into a weapon. She joined the department a long time before the beginning of my story so she already has a lot of experience with how it works. 
Kats offensive mutation is the ability to change the shape of objects. She cannot change the mass of said material but can change its density, size, and shape to make weapons, tools, etc. She cannot change the basic compounds of things either. Iron cannot be changed to water etc. And also cannot change the state of matter of an object against its nature. She cannot make room temperature water into ice or solidify oxygen. Her defensive mutation is the ability to "shed her skin" With this she can heal simple injuries as well as change her appearance. She can change everything but her skin color and hair color. However, she can only shed once a day and will have to later revert back to her natural body. 
Kat was formerly a member of the white department, her transformation ability seen as a valuable resource for field support. But, since she has been a member of Central for so long she is qualified as a freelance member who can come and go as she pleases. 
Ric (the edge lord) - He is twenty-five years old and stands at five-seven (170 cm.) His hair is pitch-black. It is actually so dark that it seems to absorb the light from around him. He slicks his hair back to keep the dark shadows from covering his face. His eyes are a similar black darkening the whites of his eyes around his iris. Ric is lean, slightly lanky as isn’t as muscular as Kat or Bee. Due to his past and constantly being dirty and wearing hospital garbs, he is now slightly obsessed with wearing neater, collected clothing..thus suit. He also wears a brown leather gun harness around his chest when battling. Ric is a panromantic asexual. He is in a happy relationship with Kat and is a cisguy
Ric is a reserved, cynical person. His past lead him to miss proper people skills. Not to the extreme that he doesn’t know how to communicate or is clueless, he just very brash and direct. He would rather not talk to people if need be. He is nice though and does has a heroic part of his personality, finding himself helping strangers when he can. He is very calm and collected...on the outside. He is a very anxiety-filled guy who is constantly watching his surroundings. This causes him to overthink a lot and sometimes find himself overwhelmed. Both Kat and Ai help to keep him calm. Ai is an identity in Ric’s brain (no, this is not an attempt at DID or schizophrenia or anything and I try to make that clear is the story as well) who helps Ric process and organize his rampant thoughts. 
Ric battles using two specially made guns loaded with bullets that disrupt hyper-radiation. They were made by Kat and often have to be repaired due to Ric’s excessive use of the guns as blunt melee weaponry. Ric is also incredibly intelligent and can quickly make plans in his head with his observations and quick thinking.
Ric was originally born a nonmutant but his crazy-ass dad found a way to save him just before he turns into a “zombie” and this also resulted in very broken powers developing. His offensive mutation is the ability to turn of the subconscious hesitation in the human body that keeps him from using his full strength. In simple terms, he can push his body past the breaking point to use the high levels of strength that would normally be held back. This power does destroy his body when he uses it so he has to be careful when decided to use it. His defensive ability is a good combo with his offensive, however. He can heal any wound that he can reset or hold shut. So he can heal bones, semi-deep cuts and low-level amputations like fingers or a hand. He can’t heal damage to internal organs, his brain, or missing limbs like arms or legs. 
Ric is put in the Blue department. His exam was actually sabotaged, but his score on the writing part was high enough that his value was still seen for the field. He is a valuable recon asset to do his ability to quickly take in a communicate information to a team.
So from here on the explanations are going to be more limited to name, gender, sexuality (for whatever reason), mutations, and department. 
Lucy - Cishet guy. Clan Breed mutations. His offensive mutation is just having horns all over his head. They fall out and grow back all the time like shark teeth lel. Defensive is also having horns all over that grow back. He isn’t that great at fighting but is great as organizing his team and exploiting their abilities to make a great squad. His skills are so revered that he is Department Head of the blue department. 
Amanita - Cisgal bisexual. Her offensive mutation pores that she can expel from her palms and mouth that poison or weaken humans and kill nonmutant “zombies.” Her defensive is the blubs on her hair like tissue on her head. She can pull of these white and red-speckled balls and they can be ingested to heal and energize. Her powers sound similar and like they should be clan breed but they ain’t, I promise. Her ability to take down large amounts of foes from a distance makes her a strong fighter. Her stern attitude also makes her a level headed leader, helping her reach the position of Department Head for the red department. 
Erik - Cisguy aro-ace. So...prefacing by saying that Erik runs around in nothing but green painted handprints and bandages loosely covering his groin...yeah. His offensive power is the ability to change the density of objects. While the power can be used in multiple more ways that he uses it (sigh, phuck Erik) he tends to just make things heavier. The bandages are a convenient tool that he can use a weapon. He increases the density and can use them as restraints and traps. He can also make living things heavier. His defensive ability is able to make things fatigued. His voice is loud and tiring and commanding and his touch literally saps your energy away. His ability to catch and restrain unwanted individuals in Central along with his ability to motivate and organize his department is what let him become the Department Head of the green department, The Department of Central’s home security.
Alula - SPACE! Non-binary who uses she/her. She basically drips “space” designed black liquid everywhere and can control it as an extension of herself after that. She is a Clan breed so she also can heal wounds as long as it is covered in the black liquid. She is ruthless and quick to cut off those who don’t meet her standards. Her unruly behavior along with her overly powerful mutation gave her the spot of Department Head for the black department. 
Fifty-four  - Cishet guy. Named after his longest battle, lasting almost an hour, fifty-four sports the offensive mutation of weight distribution. His mutation can affect the way gravity and magnetism affects his body, moving his center of mass around in his body. His defensive mutation is a thick jelly-like coating that surrounds him. It’s invisible but is strong/thick enough to stop even a bullet from only a few feet away. Fifty-four is a member of the green department and is a proctor of the practical entrance exam due to his durability and stamina in battle. He is a member of the green department.
Belen - (the asshole egh) Cisguy gay. He has the ability to cause a hazing fog to appear. He can’t control what is shown, but often times is negative memories or hallucinations. He is a clan breed, his offensive and defensive stemming from one mutation.  His hazing fog can also have other psychosomatic effects on those who breathe it in. It can trick the body into thinking it’s lighter, heavier, frozen, injured, etc. Belen’s abilities, as well as his experience, make him a famous person amongst the Sanctum and Central. It also makes him a possible replacement as Head Chairperson for Sanctum, which is why he wears a golden pin. He is a member of the red department.
Sophia - Cishetwoman. The current Head Chairperson of Sanctum. Her offensive ability is the ability to force blood to flow out of the body and fester wounds. Any small cut from Sophia allows her to drain the entire body of blood or cripple the wound to a borderline amputation. This powerful offensive skill is countered by a weaker defensive ability. Her *literally* golden hair releases a cloud of dust that mesmerizes people forcing them to listen to her commands. It really only works on a human since “zombies” are mindless anyway. Sophia is technically a member of the red department but her position of Head Chairperson overrides that title.
Nadine - Cisgal lesbian. She has the offensive ability to be able to “disconnect” the brain from certain parts of the body. It can affect anywhere from just a finger to the whole body. This can be used to stop bleeding, paralyze a limb, stop motion, etc. This is a defensive and offensive ability, but Nadien is not a clan breed. Nadine also has the ability to read emotions, intentions, and feelings through touch. It’s not really a benefit in combat but helps when dealing with nonmutants in other sanctions and organizing squads in battle, setting her in the Blue department. Nadine is also a candidate for Head Chairperson but isn’t interested in the position, thus she doesn’t wear the golden pin.
Gideon (the grimy gross guy) - Cishet guy. His offensive ability is being able to directly influence the hyper-radiation in an object. While it is a very strong ability, he doesn’t like using it, since it also disturbs his own balance and makes him very sick. His defensive ability is being able to sterilize his surroundings. This sterilization goes beyond just germs and bacteria. Any single targeted compound can be immediately destroyed from a specific area. Gideon is a member of the yellow department, the research, and development department. He has been offered the DH position but declines every time in favor of his personal research and projects.
Frederick -  Cisguy pansexual. The youngest personal in Sanctum at the young age of fourteen. Federick has the offensive ability of super speed, pretty straight forward. The only problem with super speed is that the body is not build to handle that type of pressure change and inertia. Luckily, his defensive power is his ability to turn his bones and muscles to a rubber-like thing that bend to prevent damage from the speed of his movements. Sometimes he forgets though and hurts himself before activating his mutation. Frederick is a member of the blue team because his speed is good for recon and support.
Morgan - A selectively mute ace lesbian gal. She has “metal” sheets layered on her arms and legs that move and fold to cover her arms like claws and feet like talons. She also has the ability to communicate with animals with intent and body cues rather than spoken words as her defensive mutation. Morgan is a member of the red team do to the high defense and offense of her offensive mutation.
Idonea - (Got help from my friend @i-am-papercrane for this one) A young bisexual woman. She has the Clan Breed ability to control liquids. Thicker liquids are easier to manipulate for her. Her offensive ability is her control of blood, which she forms into weapons and tools. Her defensive ability is controlling moisture in the air to form quick, disposable shields, platforms, or other strategic things. She is in the Red department due to her working easily with others and her strong desire for battles. She also can (somewhat) tell how strong someone is by the quality of their blood.
This last section is mutant characters who did directly interact with the main characters, but I’m not sure if they will be coming back later in the story.
Keagan - A straight boy who lost one of his mutations due to losing his eye. His defensive mutation is the ability to condense and combine molecules in his surroundings. For example, he can combine hydrogen and oxygen to make water. He is not a member of Sanctum
Elliot - A genderfluid pansexual friend of Kat’s (pronouns change but I will be using she her cuz that’s what she uses during her scene in the story.) She is a clan breed. Her power to control threads that she produces acts as both defense and offense. She can quickly stitch together cloth and fabric to take the brunt of attacks and she can control puppets she made to attack for her. She owns a small clothing shop in the outskirts of East sanction so the puppets are just used as models and employes. Elliot is not a member of Sanctum
Roady  - An old cellmate of Ric’s. He has more likely hood of coming back in the story. His offensive mutation is the claws on his hands. His defensive mutation is acidic blood. He is a member of the green department due to his abrasive attitude and smug personality. His incompatibility in a team means he doesn’t fit in a field department but his fighting prowess is still valuable in the green department.
Arbor - A friendly neighborhood tree. Cishet guy. His brother shows up later, but for now, he doesn’t need to come back. Sorry, tree bud. Clan breed his offensive power is he’s a tree increased strength and his defensive power is he’s a tree having dense and tough skin
So that’s the notable characters that have been seen in name and face so far in LSS. Obviously, my concept art still isn’t exactly how I would like it, but it’s nice to see my guy, gals, and NB pals chillin’ in the real world. Depending on how I’m feeling I may do this for other stories (they won’t be nearly as long lel.) AS ALWAYS I am always down for answering any questions about the characters and/or story and I hope you the post is entertaining and interesting. Can you figure out who the antagonists are?
*Lastly, I’m sorry if this is a bit unorganized or confusing, this is my first time doing a) such a big post b) a post with multiple characters in it like this.*
**Also! I want to do some valentine’s day art with the main 4 so keep an eye out**
Have a good day everyone!
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artfulantiquity · 6 years
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An Honest Blue SidonxLink
Please read my fanfic “An Honest Blue” at https://archiveofourown.org/works/14721360 Dedicated to all SidonxLink Tumblrs and artists and writers. Thank you for your content.  This is possibly part one of a series involving a bit of an AU. I have an idea spinning in my head and this is kinda the prologue to it. Setting the tone. But this could just be a stand alone. May add to it before adding the official story. No promises. _________________ There has always been a vastness to the color blue, Sidon thought. The way it spans the sky in a large dome like shape, how endless and bright and fulfilling the color can be. Sidon always found himself surrounded in different shades of blue and all uniquely beautiful in their own way. Sometimes there was so much blue that, that endless and vast sky felt cramped and smothering, the palace walls smooth silver gilded edges felt like they were coming in as jagged edges and it felt suffocating. There was always so much blue around him that he almost began to hate the color. Sure there were occasionally Zora of different colors but...they blended in and were muted in shades and it became hard to decipher as time went on. 
The only placating shade of it to him was found whenever he discovered himself in his late mother’s chamber’s, fingering the Zora Sapphire. It was deep and rich, saturated against all the overly glow-like or muted blue’s that surrounded him. He found comfort in it. The sapphire sparkled and it didn’t have that never-ending quality to it. It was vast and he could stare at it for hours, sure, but Sidon felt peace with it. It’s vastness was unlike anything else, It had a clear ending to it, told a story in glittering lights in rich blues that held a peaceful tone, a silent sirens melody.
It wasn’t till many years later when he had met Link that he saw the sapphire blue in something that wasn’t his mother’s heirloom. When Sidon had met the little Hylian, he had never really looked into his eye, it was always cloaked with a hood and Sidon didn’t have really the care or desire at the moment to look into his eyes; there was the pressing matter of Vah Ruta. After the Divine Beast had been appeased, Link had come and gone and never resurfaced until about two months later, clad in a deep blood red veil, a feminine gilded green top with red rubies and a red sirwal. Link had emerged from the stairwell that led to the shrine, the moon hung high in the sky. Sidon had been staring, once again at his sister’s statue when he had heard the wet foodpads stop beside him and he looked down to find the red clad Hylian. These were clothes unknown to Sidon but they were a bright contrast to the endless blue around him, much like he himself. Sidon had stared at the Hylian maiden only to find that when the veiled face looked at him, all Sidon could see was the deep rich sapphire blue, staring back at him. For a moment he thought he was hallucinating but the facade fell apart when the veil came down from beneath the Hylian’s eyes and he was staring at Link’s smiling face. Link’s hands came up and his head cocked slightly to the left, his hair swinging a bit and framing his face lovingly. ‘Am I so beautiful that you’ve no words left?’ It was motioned with such a coy expression that Sidon was well aware that Link was playing a game with him since he must have seemed a little flustered. “Yes,” the Zora answered honestly. “That outfit suits you, my dear friend.” The Hylian flushed hotly. He scratched his head and tumbles of long golden hair came forward. “Your hair grew! What a tremendous amount! I’ve never come across many Hylian’s but I’ve never heard of hair growing quite so quickly!” Link’s blush faltered in surprise and he waved his arms back and forth and shook his head. ‘No, these are called…’ Sidon caught the word hair but the rest seemed odd. “Hair…Someone else’s hai- You scalped someone!?” Link vigorously shook his head and hands. “Oh good... Um… Hair...length...attachment… Oh!” He snapped his fingers. “Hair extensions!” The Hylian nodded. ‘There’s a spa in Gerudo Town. I had to stay a couple of weeks and plan an invasion against the Yiga and I was offered a hair treatment. I was unaware that hair would be attached to my head but… It’s not bad. Its Gerudo donated hair that’s been dyed with Electric Saffina’s and some other flowers. Apparently it’s only been used for royalty but it’s becoming popular with locals.” “It suits you well my friend.” Sidon couldn’t really help himself. He took the long thick weft that hung across Link’s shoulder and picked it up, feeling it between his fingers. He didn’t realize how intimately close he’d come up to the Hylian, staring down at the red visage painted across the century year old teen. “Ah, my apologies Hero. I didn’t mean to invade your space.” The Hylian smiled and shook his head. “Where are my manners, You’ve traveled a long way from the desert and It’s quite late; can we accommodate you for the night? There are many rooms in the palace and-” Link shook his head and pointed at the Inn. “Surely I can house you in a much nicer room. There is plenty of-” Link’s smile grew fonder, gentle like the rich blue within his eyes, waves of ever blue sapphire. Sidon chuckled. “There’s no way I can dissuade you?” The elf shook his head, that smile glowing beneath the radiance of the moon. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow then and we can discuss how we can assist you, in whatever way you need that has brought you here.” Link continued to smile at the prince, waved his hand and walked away, toting a large bag and the slate upon his hip. That night, Sidon slept in his pool thinking of that rich deep blue. The only blue that didn’t make him feel cramped. Beneath the bright blue endless sky, Sidon found himself once again staring above with an uncomfortable look on his face. He almost missed the gray of Vah Ruta’s wrath. Almost. That morning he had woken up and found the blue toxic glow of the walls around him just as aggravating as ever. He stood at the balcony below the throne room, above the statue and stared out the beaming dark cliffs and into the vibrant greens and pinks and flowers and- Sidon looked down to find a gentle hand on his arm. Wide rich blue eyes stared back at him; deep and honest, trusting and brave and lovingly soulful eyes piercing his own. Link smiled and signed a good morning to the prince and Sidon smiled back. “Good to see you! Did you rest well?” A nod. “Good. Now that the sky is bright, how can I help you?” Link was dressed in a surprisingly casual outfit. He wore a cyan shirt with a lobster emblem on it, a pair of gray long shorts and a pair of climbers shoes. The most notable part though was that his hair was in its usual ponytail, the same blue ribbon that held it together. The length was so new and striking and it complimented Link’s seemingly fragile and lithe body structure. It swayed in the chill breeze like a boat on gentle waves. Link’s expression grew tired and agitated quite suddenly. He raised his hands and his eyes lifted back up from the ground.
‘Actually, I’m not here on a specific mission or quest. I’m just…” His hands hovered for a moment, he averted his eyes, bit his lip and continued sweeping his hands gracefully through the air. ‘I’m just tired. I need a break for a moment you know? I didn’t get to spend a lot of time here so I’d like to see more of the Domain.” Sidon smiled brightly. “Ah yes! That sounds wonderful! I’d love to show you around my home!” Link flustered a bit. ”Don’t you have duties or… I don’t know, prince-ly things to attend to?” Sidon stared for a moment before bursting into laughter, only increasing Link’s hot flush. “No my friend. I go through constant training to inherit the throne, sure, but socializing with my people is a great way for me to stay on their good side and to keep their spirits up. Showing you around will not only be a personal pleasure for myself but I can socialize with the other Zora whilst doing so and it allows me to check in on the lives of the people” Link nodded, the weary tired eyes of a soldier falling and crumbling away into the curious innocence of a tourist. Sidon gave Link a moment, saying he would return shortly. Sidon walked up the stairs up into the throne room to find his father talking amiably with Muzu and another elder Zora. He knelt down to his father formally and waited patiently for the king to address him. King Dorephan paused his conversation and had Sidon rise. “Good morning my son.” Sidon stood and looked up to his father’s kindly face. “Father, The Hero of Hyrule is here. I’ve offered to show him around, I just wanted to let you know in case I would be needed.” King Dorephan nodded sagely but placed his hands around his jaw. “I’ll assume that means he still doesn’t really remember the Domain.” Sidon really wasn’t sure how much Link remembered since the Hylian hadn’t brought it up outside of implying he wanted to see what the Domain looked like extensively but the prince shook his head anyway. “I’m hoping maybe his memories might return if I show him around. He was quick to recognize Mipha a little once he had stared at her statue for a while.” Again King Dorephan nodded and bid Sidon adieu. “Nothing needs your immediate attention today. Feel free to do as you wish with the Hylian. If you stray farther than the Domain, try to be back in a timely manner is my only request. If not, inform someone to let me know you are fine.” Sidon’s tail wagged a touch back and forth with a little excitement. “Thank you father.” He rushed out quickly and gracefully from the throne room. He was going to turn to the left to go down those stairs when he spied Link with some children. He was seated on an elevated area of the flooring that didn’t have a thin layer of water. A few children were sitting around him playing with his hair which had been freed from the ponytail. His hands moved swiftly and his expression was energetic as he told the awed children a story of one of his trips outside the Domain. Sidon stared for a moment before he smiled and relaxed. He leaned his arms on the rail and gazed down and read the story along with the children for a moment before he felt a presence behind him. Sidon looked behind him to find Muzu, also watching the children play with Link’s hair and watching his hands tell them a story. The older Zora didn’t say anything, just watched with Sidon from afar. Eventually the story began to come to a close and Sidon nodded toward Muzu who raised his hand up and nodded his head as well. Sidon began to make his way down the stairs; Link was holding the hands of some of the children around him but once Sidon stepped forward towards them, the children laughed and scattered, waving behind them. “Shall we go?” Link looked up at the prince and smiled brightly, his ethereal blue eyes lidded with the joy. Sidon had to refrain from flinching at such a radiant display before him in such a simplistic expression. Truly the work of art by the goddesses. Link signed an affirmative and took Sidon’s arm. Link found that Sidon began to glow while showing the Hylian his magnificent home. Sidon walked them expressively across the bridge; he insisted they begin with the beginning. He explained that the building of the bridge began several thousand years ago when luminous stones were first initially discovered. The bridge had been crafted over a sum of 10 years and initially named Luminous Arch. Sidon walked Link across the bridge and the Hylian seemed enthralled with the history lesson. The bridge finally crossed, the prince waved his arm in a grand manner gesturing to the upper part of the palace. “Welcome to Zora’s Domain. Now what you see here is the up-most tip of the palace, much like the highest spire of Hyrule Castle. Beneath the waterfalls and the river lies the rest of the palace which unfortunately is inaccessible to Hylian’s and other none water breathing species. It is unseen but behind the waterfalls are walls which were carved into, attached to the palace and then rewalled to seal them from the waterfalls. Originally the palace lay solely deep within the river but we built up so that we could have more communication with land dwelling races. Because we were doing so much construction above land, shafts were carved and mined through other areas of the river and through the mountain which is why when witnessed before, Vah Ruta dove deep into the water and was able to access other areas of the rivers.” Sidon described a vast and incredible palace beneath the waves, behind the waterfalls and embedded within the mountain. As time went on and the pair traveled through the domain with Sidon introducing fellow Zora to Link, they began to pick up other tourists who were interested in hearing the history and architecture of the domain. “Much of the inner palace was later reconstructed or built over to include luminous stones in the design and architecture. You’ll notice there are pools that Zora will sleep in here. Many of these Zora have lives and family up here. But notice how few Zora are actually around. Hundreds of thousands of us dwell within the palace; it is a city of sorts in its own right.” “How do you keep monsters out of the city if it expands across the connecting rivers that do in fact have them?” A Hylian piped curiously. Sidon smiled and turned to face the hylian, Tracy, Link thought her name was. “The arches were thankfully built in a time when monsters were seldom around or riverbound so they are unable to enter. We have had problems in ancient times past with some of Ganon’s previous colossal monstrosities but other than that, we have no issue keeping them out.” Tracy nodded enthusiastically and continued to write. An hour further around the palace again, Sidon concluded the tour and the Hylian’s and a stray Goron began to disperse. Sidon smiled privately down towards Link who remained in awe of it all. “There are much more things I’d like to share with you, my friend. Things that other outsiders don’t really need to know.” Link’s eyes began to glow again with interest and a smile broadened onto his face. He looked so sweet with the doe like sapphire eyes and that large smile. Sidon could faintly see the freckles on the hylian’s face. They reminded him of the stars; clearly spread through the expanse of sky by Nayru’s graceful hands, it seemed that Faror had painted each and every freckle with care. Sidon averted his eyes and schooled his thoughtful and poetic mind. “Come, my friend.” He led Link to the underside back of the throne room where the Zora sleeping pools were spread out. He took link to the center of the wall and stood there. He gave the elf a mischievous smile. “Do you notice anything different about the wall?” Link opened his mouth in an ‘o’ shape before giving the wall a hard glare, looking for any differences. He stood there for a while, contemplating. His eyes flickered all over the glimmer of the wall when a pattern began to blossom against the normal pattern. His eyes picked up the faint differences and on an impulse he pressed a hand against it. Sidon snickered. “Yes my friend.” Sidon pressed his hand over Link’s. The elf’s hand was warm and soft like silk. Nayru’s mark glowed beneath their hands and a section of the wall pulled back and opened. Link gasped and stared in awe, his eyes glittering in excitement. “Only a Zora can open this wall. Or the holder of the Zora Sapphire. It leads into the lower part of the domain.” Link made an excited chirp and began to step through before stopping and looking at Sidon for permission. The prince chuckled but gave the hero a sad smile. “Unfortunately, you could only go down so far before we come to the water. Otherwise I would indeed take you down.” Link looked a little bummed but he shrugged. He stepped back and the door filled back into place. The day onward went quickly. Sidon continued to insist that Link move from the inn and into guest quarters that were located in another section of the raised palace behind a small curtained waterfall. The boy eventually gave in and smiled. Sidon returned the grin with a thumbs up. He never gave any indication of the slow idea forming into his mind. The day finished after they had ventured out and around the Domain and its surrounding terrain. Currently the day found them sitting at the East Reservoir Lake. Link had rolled up his pants and his shoes were sitting beside him, his feet dangling in the water. Sidon had left him for a moment to go for a swim while Link sat there and braided his hair, humming a short repetitive tune. Sidon broke the surface near Link’s legs, so tall was his torso that even with half his body still in the water, Sidon continued to tower over Link. “I had a lot of fun today. Touring my home with you was nice.” Link’s smile never seemed to fall when he was around Sidon. The blonde turned his head and nodded, agreeing that he too, had, had fun with the prince. He wiggled his toes and Sidon pinched them playfully to which the elf laughed. It was again, a bright and radiant sound, soft and unused, a bit husky but had a graceful quality to it and a light hearted tone. Sidon continued to eye Link, watching his loose braid slowly come together and fall across the man’s shoulder. “I’ve said this before but I do enjoy your hair length. It suits you very much so.” The century old teen blushed a little and his smile shifted to a more shy one. He wasn’t used to compliments, Sidon could tell. Sidon continued to watch Link who soon became oblivious to Sidon’s stare as a bird came and sat next to Link. It perched itself next the the hero, a brave little thing. Link gasped lightly, held out his finger for the bird and it hopped up. It pecked at his finger before ruffling its wings a bit. It tweeted at Link and the Hero began to smile again. Sidon watched as the sun’s orange setting rays of light glimmered against the rich sun spun gold of Links hair, the glow accentuating a halo around his head and making his skin seem dark and supple. Link’s lashes fell across his cheeks, a dark rich brown that complimented the blue of his eyes. His smile was so… soft… Sidon had never felt this way or thought this way about anyone. He could see why his sister had fallen in love. His heart clenched at little and he bit his lip. Link twittered at the bird a jovial song and the bird seemed to repeat the tune at a higher pitch. The bird flew away from Link’s finger, a light dusting of feathers in its wake. Link turned his smile at Sidon and oh how Sidon wished. He didn’t know what he wished but he was certain that he felt a sense of wishing and yearning. Link was so light, so bright, that Sidon could feel the shadow that it cast. Link lifted his hands and said, “Are you ready to go back?” Sidon leapt out of the darkened water and stood. He held his hand down for Link to grab. Link placed his hand into Sidon’s his eyes sparkling like sapphires. His eyes were an honest blue. The prince held Link’s hand tightly.
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chasingcar · 5 years
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say my name, say my name
If you listen to my father, my name was supposed to be Charlie, just like his. My parents had an agreement — since they named their first child after my mother, their second would be named after my father. I owe my constant identity crises to them. If the subject comes up, my father will waste no time telling you how much better my life would’ve been if I had been named Charlie. I think his motives are mostly selfish, but I have to agree that Charlie suits me better. It adds the right amount of androgyny to my persona. The story goes that my father named me Charlie, but when he left the delivery room my mother crossed out the letter 'h'. The whole thing feels a bit too cinematic to me. I was there, but my brain wasn’t developed enough to confirm. The way my mother tells this story with such glee in her eyes has been fine-tuned over the past twenty-seven years and always ends in me mentioning that my sister Maggie is named after my mother. It always gets big laughs. I may have the wrong name, but at least I have a good story. 
My name is Carlie. It took me years of practicing to be able to pronounce it correctly and I still slip up every now and then. Something about the letters ‘r’ and ‘l’ next to each other refuses to roll itself off my tongue. I try my best to pronounce the ‘rl’ as clearly as possible, but it usually goes awry on the first try. The hard ‘ar’ turns soft in my mouth and I end up with people calling me Corley, as if that's a more common name. Occasionally I get Courtney, which I can only assume is more common than Corley. I try to make up for that weak ‘r’, but occasionally I overcompensate and hit the ‘r’ so hard that the Starbucks barista hands me a cup that says Cartly on it. When the man taking my lunch order over the phone is too annoyed to ask for my name a third time, I end up picking up a salad for Harley. At least I got the hard ‘r’ on that one. Maybe I’m a mumbler. Maybe that’s why people mistake my middle for Murray when I say Marie. Maybe the problem really is me. Where I work as a receptionist, I practice saying my name all day long. I pick up the phone and say "Hi this is Carlie," and in return I get called Corley, Curley, Courtney, or Caily. What’s your name? Carlie. Sorry, what did you say? It’s Carlie. Callie? Carlie, I say, really emphasizing the hard 'r' and almost getting stuck there. Silence. Car *slight pause* lee. Ohh, Carly. Yes. That’s me. Carlie. The girl who can’t say her own name.
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There’s a new trainer at my gym and like a good business professional, he’s trying to learn everyone’s name. In the middle of my usual Thursday night group class, I’m walking across the studio to get to the next station, panting heavily from my lack of cardio fitness, when I cross his path. I’m already past him, with my back to him, when he says, "Carlie, right?" My truly dumbass self turns right on my heel and points at him finger-gun style like I’m a greaser in The Outsiders, too out of breath and taken by surprise to form any real words. Whenever someone I don’t know very well surprises me by using my own name at me, I’m reminded of how much I feel like it belongs to someone else. When people hear Carlie I assume they’re looking over my shoulder at the smiling cheerleader standing behind me. When they hear Carlie, they’re thinking Carly or Carley or Carli. 
Carly is all bubblegum. She’s someone else. She’s the outgoing, happy-go-lucky cheerleader you knew in high school. She’s feminine and charming, always making direct eye contact. She’s never not smiling. Carly walks unflinchingly through life. When she goes to the grocery store she’s not walking down every aisle wondering if people are staring at her or what they think about her. When she orders her coffee she never stutters and waits patiently without the slightest nervous tic. She’s never anxious. She can walk into any room and feel at ease. She believes in traditional gender roles and never corrects anyone about anything, especially if she knows what they mean. Carly is who my mother expected me to become, who my iPhone wants me to be. Instead, the universe turned out a Carlie — an awkward introvert overcome with existential dread at every waking moment. Carlie binge eats while cocooned in blankets in her bed and bruises her knuckles taking out her anxieties at the gym. She avoids eye contact in public so she doesn’t have to talk to anyone and orders her coffee on her phone so she can avoid human contact. Her resting face is often mistaken for her “I’m enraged” face, and she never laughs to be polite. Carlie is sarcastic and anxiety-prone. She’s never at ease. Carlie often wishes she could take her brain out and put it on her nightstand for a while to give herself a break.
My friends endear themselves to me by calling me Car. It’s that lazy form of a nickname where you just stop talking after the first syllable in someone’s name. It’s perfect. When my friends call me Car, I respond immediately without tension. I feel at home. It’s more familiar to me than my full name to the point where if you yelled “Car!” at me in the middle of the street I’d turn towards your voice and imminently get hit by a car speeding in my direction. Car is a no-frills alternative to the bubbly Carlie. It’s an object and I enjoy objectifying myself. At least this way I don’t have to listen to my friends mock me by pronouncing my own full name correctly.
My mother calls me Carlie in a way that immediately puts me on edge. We’ll be sitting alone together in a silent room, and before asking me a question she’ll say, “Carlie” so authoritatively it makes me jump out of my skin. Is there someone else in the room she could have been addressing?  Does she see dead people? My father shares my speech impediment but says my name out loud without caring, and when my sister gets frustrated with me she calls me by my first and last name, which I find particularly strange since we share a last name. It feels like fifty percent of her anger is directed at herself. She says it without difficulty so when she does say my name in anger it hurts that much more. However like most people, my brain loves hearing other people say my own name — even if it is in anger. Just don’t ask me to tell you what it is. Say my name casually in the course of our conversation and I feel the thick ice around my heart start to melt; I know you must really like me. Do it a couple times and you’re infatuated. Say my name a few times while you’re screaming at me and I know it’s love. 
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How I feel about everything changes almost daily, and that doesn’t exclude my name. Sometimes I resent it for being mine and not mine at the same time. Other times, I feel such a strong connection to it I can’t imagine walking through life with a different one. It feels like just another idiosyncratic thing about me. Whether I’m hating my name, or staring longingly into your eyes as you casually interweave my name into our conversation, I have to admit it holds some power over me. Say my name and I’m yours. Even though I occasionally stumble over its pronunciation, I don’t plan on ever changing my name. I don’t need any more reasons for an identity crisis.  
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