spring is like *allergies* *sinus issues* *allergies* *unchecked sinus disorder* *allergies* *sleepy* *allergies* *what if you couldn’t breathe out of your nose for three months*
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i have been trying to fix my sleep schedule since 2015 and every single time i fail drastically
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not to make angst out of a fucking gag but also thinking about the silly au rei in the final episode makes me think about how different rei would be if she didn’t have literally the worst dad ever. like, no, she probably wouldn’t have been the upbeat adhd whirlwind in the high school au lmao. but it does just make me think. because while all the pilots lives are incredibly marked by trauma, rei's the only one to have never had access to any sort of normal life. her entire personality and worldview is shaped from being isolated, groomed, and taught to see herself as a tool and not a person. and then i just get so sad that she never had any chance of a normal life where she could discover herself and what she is. she went from being abused and manipulated by gendō (which is made even worse with the implications certain scenes leave about their relationship) to becoming god. she never had any chance of living a normal life. and just like. fuck.
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WAIT TALON LOSES HIS WRINKLAGE WHEB HES FED?
Yeas ^_^ talon was turned when he was like 29 but even then he had a youthful/baby face. His default form looks something like dis (im still figuring it out, i dont draw him Young often for character reasons)
he doesn't like that he never gets to age, mostly after experiencing abuse under the assumption that he was even younger than he looks, so he forgoes feeding (the vampiric fountain of youth) so he can look old all the time to feel safer, be taken seriously etc (dis is also why he always looks uncomfortable when i draw him Unwrinkled, he feels unguarded and exposed)
He could just shapeshift to look however he wants when he's fed but it means needing to feed more often, he likes his Aged appearance to feel "Natural" and also well. Punishing himself, because sometimes disordered eating and other behaviors that can and do stem from abuse are just like that
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Huge shoutout to my mother for the questions she'd ask me when I was buying clothes as a child and teen:
"Can you sit down in those?"
"Can you raise your arms?"
"Can you bend over comfortably?"
Really helped me build the habit of evaluating whether an item of clothing is practical enough for my day-to-day life.
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