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#when we hurt we listen
flowercrowngods · 1 month
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It's unreal. The light is streaming in through the windows, the curtains still drawn to block out the midday heat, tinging their living room in golden hues that match so well with the light grey fabric of their new sofa.
Eddie should probably snap out of it and head over to the windows, open the curtains and let the light in, and with it the warmth and fresh air of a surprisingly wonderful day.
It's March, he hears the echoes of Steve's giddy voice a week or two ago. Everything's better in March.
Eddie didn't agree then, and he's not sure he agrees now, but he must admit there is something magical about this moment.
Still he remains rooted to the spot, leather jacket heavy on his shoulders, his hands hidden in the sleeves of it, just in case this really is a dream. Just in case someone will come in and snap him out of it, take away their couch and leave an eviction notice.
It's dumb. But Eddie doesn't deal well with things that are unreal. Things that he knows aren't meant for him. Things that he knows he only gets in this one play-through of his life, while millions of other Eddie Munsons are out there in parallel universes who never get to even lay eyes upon a couch this nice. Let alone buy it. From their own real adult money.
It's a corner sofa, the fabric light grey, and he remembers it being harder than it looks. Solid. Just perfect for both their fucked up backs, scar tissue pulling if they sit wrong for too long, phantom pain and muscle aches coming in hot when all they want is to just relax and enjoy a lazy evening.
Eddie bites his lip, trailing his eyes along the pristine fabric, the pillows lining the back of it, the flawless stitches keeping everything in shape.
They have a couch now. A sofa.
It's so fucking unreal.
He drops to the floor right then and there, sitting with his back against the wall, and never once taking his eyes off their sofa. It feels important to look at it for a while. It feels important to wait for Steve. It feels... It feels like maybe he'll ruin everything if he goes and sits on it now.
And it feels really fucking big.
At some point he hears the front door opening, their lock going so smoothly now that Steve fixed it with some graphite, and the sound makes Eddie smile. That's another thing that's unreal. The key barely making any noise, the lock not rattling, the door not creaking and cracking. Eddie pulls a strand of hair between his lips, the smile feeling too silly for this room, for this home, for everything he gets to have now.
For all the tiny things that matter now. All the tiny things he gets to have, turning the key's smooth slide into an allegory of everything he ever wanted but never dared to hope for.
The slide of curtains, the click-click-click of the window handle being turned to let the air in. The breeze of fresh spring air dancing around his nose.
It's all a little much. It's so fucking addicting.
And then Steve. Socked feet coming to a stop beside him, a hand landing in his hair, a voice that's so endlessly warm and fond and maybe a little worried sounding from above him, "Hi, angel."
"Hi," Eddie says, tearing his eyes away from their couch to meet Steve's. The sunlight from the windows hugs him, making him glow. Eddie smiles. He smiles and smiles and never wants to stop.
Steve hums as he leans down to press a kiss to his forehead, and Eddie weaves his arm through Steve's legs, holding onto his knee.
Everything feels a little less silly now. Like every time Steve doesn't question his little moments of sitting on the floor and just staring at things.
"We have a couch now," Eddie says, because it feels important to point out. Because Steve isn't looking at it.
"We do," he hums. "I got the call earlier. Thanks for helping with that, baby."
Eddie nods again, leaning his cheek against Steve's knee and trailing the couch again with his eyes. It looks brighter now that the curtains don't turn the room into something out of a sepia-type movie anymore.
Steve's hands comb through his hair, massaging his scalp a little with his nails. It's nice. It's warm. It's pretty.
And it's so unreal.
"I'm twenty-four," Eddie says then, and some part of him wants to carve that into the fabric. He won't. But maybe he should carve it somewhere else. "And I own a couch. It's a little crazy."
Steve comes to sit down beside him, their shoulders pressed together and he links their hands, resting them in his lap after a brushes a kiss to Eddie's knuckles.
"Why's it crazy, angel?"
He shrugs, resting his head on Steve's shoulders and curling into his warmth some more.
"Most of my life I never thought either of those would happen, y'know."
Another hum, followed by another kiss to the crown of his head. Another smile.
"But you did it," Steve whispers. "You made it. And we've got a couch now."
"We've got a couch now."
Saying it out loud doesn't make it feel any realer. It only makes his heart race and his eyes prick.
"I love you," he says, finally looking away from pretty grey fabric to meet prettier hazel eyes. "I love you so much."
Steve leans in, kissing the tip of his nose. "I love you. Thank you for buying a couch with me."
And it occurs to Eddie then that Steve understands him. Sitting there on the floor with him, hearing his words and listening to those unsaid, understanding Eddie on such a fundamental level that it should be scary. And it is, sometimes.
But he's not scared now. Because they have a couch. And they have pretty curtains that keep the light outside and still turn the room into something magical. And they have a lock that only needed a bit of graphite to let the keys glide smoothly.
And they have each other.
They stay on the floor until Steve's stomach growls, and they eat dinner with their backs against the couch and Eddie's feet in Steve's lap. They hold each other close after dinner, just breathing each other in as the breeze blows around them.
In the end, Eddie is the first to sit on the couch, with Steve standing between his legs and giving him a scalp massage in silence. In the end, Eddie buries his face in Steve's stomach to hide the tears, and Steve lets him.
Because this is real. And he gets to have this. They both do.
🤍 permanent tag list gang: @skiddit @inklessletter @aringofsalt @hellion-child @stobin-cryptid@hotluncheddie @gutterflower77@auroraplume@steddieonbigboy @n0-1-important@stevesjockstrap @brainvines @puppy-steve @izzy2210 @itsall-taken @mangoinacan13 @madigoround@pukner@i-amthepizzaman @swimmingbirdrunningrock @hammity-hammer @stevesbipanic@bitchysunflower @estrellami-1 @finntheehumaneater @goodolefashionedloverboi @awkwardgravity1 (lmk if you want on or off, for this story or permanently)
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puppyeared · 4 months
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i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed
#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant#its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things#we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt?#i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an#me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could#feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly#accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore#what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back#with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other??#why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used#to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this??#i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting#for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our#bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us??#im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70#yapping#vent
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dollypopup · 4 months
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the more I think about it and rewatch his scenes, the more I cannot help but realize that Colin is coded as a neurodivergent character. At least, I can very clearly see how Luke Newton, a neurodivergent actor, is playing Colin as a neurodivergent character
a special interest in Greek mythology? in traveling? neurodivergent
taking people's word at face value without 'reading between the lines'? neurodivergent
not being able to read Penelope's feelings regardless of how 'obvious' they are? neurodivergent
brain constantly bouncing around from one idea to the next (as in the books)? neurodivergent
not saying the 'right thing' and admitting to having to rehearse important conversations? neurodivergent
all that rejection sensitivity and regret he had well over a year after his engagement blew up? neurodivergent
masking in public? the whole 'charming facade'? neurodivergent
the man straight up STIMS, I mean how often do we see him fidgeting or playing with something? he has an oral fixation like no one's business, always eating, rubbing his mouth, licking his lips
I just can't unsee it
and, one day, i hope our fandom is going to be ready to recognize how many of the things we've unjustly called him an 'idiot' or 'stupid' for is actually just him existing with a neurodivergent brain and how hurtful that can come across to us neurodivergent peeps who identify with him
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gayvecchio · 13 days
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Frannie, you are in over your head. Meaning? Meaning, guys like him don't marry girls like you. That's fairy tale. And girls like you get hurt, and guys like him don't even know it, and that's life.
#due south#ray vecchio#francesca vecchio#benton fraser#oof the way you can see the truth of this hit ray so hard#good for frannie for saying all of this and sticking up for herself because ray was being an unfair jerk#especially since he was projecting his own fears and insecurities about losing fraser and taking it out on frannie#ray's behavior here only makes sense to me if he's acting out of jealousy#because he doesn't seem the type to get involved in his siser's love life (unless she's being harmed in some way)#and what he says about fraser directly contradicts what we know ray actually thinks about him#i can't imagine ray sees fraser as the type to 'love 'em and leave 'em for lack of a better phrase. he knows he's not like that#ray is the one in over his head and worried about being left heartbroken (and not being good enough for fraser to stick around for)#if fraser was involved with frannie; ray loses ever getting a chance with him either way whether it works out or not#if the potential relationship worked out ray would have to sit by and watch the man he loves be with his sister#and if it doesn't work out (which it likely wouldn't lbr) he loses his frienship as well because it would never be the same after#and the fact remains that fraser will likely go back to canada one day and leave ray behind#and not realize just how much it will hurt ray when he goes#AND FRASER IS LISTENING TO ALL OF THIS#HE'S JUST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLASS#THE PERSON RAY DREAMS ABOUT#SO CLOSE BUT STILL OUT OF REACH#i can't with them#frannie is the only brave one here i love her#ds30below
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maybepolly · 7 months
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drowning in phoenix and apollo's relationship because it's not easy it's not easy at all but i know apollo is there waiting for the grand gesture and he knows it's not coming he will never admit he wants it but god. he Knows he's somewhat important to phoenix but how much?? is phoenix willing to truly put himself in danger to save apollo? is apollo willing to let him?? or is it going to be yet another step in the cycle of sacrificing for something neither of them truly believe in????
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hylianane · 4 months
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I know the dudebros who pitched the theory of Zoro scarring (possibly removing) his very own eye in order to draw out his Observation Haki did so because they thought it was cool and badass. But personally. I’d be fucking devastated man. Thinking of the context and specially considering Zoro’s mental state in Kuraigana Island after being left in pieces by Kuma and discovering he’d failed to be there for Luffy at Marineford- listen. He’s always been portrayed as having very self-punishing tendencies since at least Alabasta, so if this was truly what happened, I don’t think it’d be portrayed as an empowering moment of manliness at all. I certainly wouldn’t want it to be.
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skenpiel · 1 year
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@eebie DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the dance is from this video ♪(^∇^*)
#HI EEBIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL#i made this beccause i was listening to that penis song i sent you and i thought it sounded like a song gobou would use#also i wanted a dancing eeber gif ^___^#keep in mind i ummm. have only animated once before and that was years ago and very very very short#and also it was totally sketchy and stuff. as in it was just a sketch there was no lineart or colors or anything#and also csp apparently dosent let you export transparent animations!?!?!?!? and also it doesnt let you use more than 25 frames!?!?!?!?#its stupid. so i just made a gif on EZGIF.COM instead<333#which is why the edges look kinda. um. wack. sorry about that but maybe itll go away when this posts? i dunno but i doubt it#btw i think i have eeber poisoning or something. because i draw her all the time everywhere........#ive drawn her so many times in some stupid little sketchbook we have in our kitchen when i wait for stuff in tha microwave#her design is just sooooo. Yeah!!!!!!!!#anyway this took Ummm significantly longer than id hoped and my back hurts sooooobad#so im going to bed!!!!!!!! but anyways here u go babygirkl <333333#my art#oh and btw i only listened to the penis (eek!) song while drawing this and nothing else#just. the same penis song for hours on end#and i said i was gonna take abreak when i was done with the lines before i started coloring but 😀👍 i forfot#OH WAIY ONE LAST YBING. i got cery noticably lazy like halfway through so dontt look too close at the frames or youu might get scared 😨
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questionablealibi · 7 months
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!TRIGGER WARNING!
Multiple eyes, eye contact; take care! <3
HAVING A BUSY WEEK SO HAVE THIS THING I DID LAST WEEK AS A WAY OF ME ASSURING YOU LOT THAT IM NOT OFFLINE! :D
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A sona design epiphany i had in the middle of my pre calculus class :'D im not sure if it makes sense but it sure did to me at that moment
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radioves · 1 year
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its quite shrimple actually
#[Intro: Docm77] Listen Grian Nobody touches my bush You're done [Verse 1: Docm77] It all started when Grian touched my redstone He played#himself like a xylophone set on automatic Doc Monster is a savage‚ with technical skills And crazy vocal acrobatics I’m a legend of NHO‚#with Etho‚ Beef and Double O DocMC is coming for you sevenfold Got Rendog and other firemen To douse the flames that you shoot at this#To douse the flames that you shoot at this leviathan Iskall can try again [Verse 2: Wels & Xisuma] Yo You think i’m hiding‚ I’m just biding#my time Putting pen to paper‚ coming up with rhymes We’re the star-studded group that got together just to crush you Once we start something#you know we're gonna see it through I'm the knight‚ the soldier who brings the fight at first light Y'all had to incite‚ so now I gotta#indict You're guilty of getting murdered with words Y'all are out-gunned‚ go home nerds Wohoo [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang Hermit Gang Hermit#Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang Hermit#Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 3: False & Xisuma] If you think you can stop the symmetry‚ that's false G Team is dialing for help‚#but I'm ignoring their calls And when their bodies dissolve‚ you’ll know that False’s on a killing spree Try to stop my pvp and perish#painfully I'm the queen of hearts‚ heads and body parts Your diamond armor can’t compare to my martial arts I'll send a poison dart‚ to make#you breathe your final breath G Team's name will be the only thing left Yeah [Verse 4: Impulse] Caffeinated‚ animated‚ redstone innovator My#behavior's crazy‚ can’t phase me‚ impulse is never lazy (Uh) Tango‚ why would you betray me‚ now my scope is aiming (What) Without a sound‚#without no hesitation‚ my creations are amazing Better watch your step or the G Team will end up blazing Who's the better team? There is no#controversy But before it's said and done you'll be begging us for mercy (All-right) [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚#Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 5: Xisuma] X gone give it to ya‚ I'm gone give it to ya X gone give it to ya‚ WHAT Lyrical boxing‚ dropping#blows on all my foes And the G Team they're looking unclean needing some sunscreen Getting burnt by words to hurt this herd of nerds It’s#absurd how my rhymes got them injured Danger‚ danger I got lasers to cut 'em up like razors It's flexin' season and I got flavor Their#Their weak defenses like trenches and fences That these dense heads are presenting [Bridge: Xisuma & Docm77] They're presenting them alright#they're not very good I could walk over that‚ I could jump over that I could use an ender pearl I could use my elytra Come on G Team‚ jeeze#Yo‚ I don't know what to say Um‚ let me think [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 6:#Rendog] Now I'm back‚ got some things I wanna say (Yeah) Whats the letter that starts the alphabet‚ Ay Ladies gotta get in line‚ the#diggity's be on the way (Cliff) Cleo dont know who she freaking with (Ooh) All the signs say to notify her next of kin This diggity dog be#dropping bombs‚ nothing but hits (Ay) Spit that rhyme again (brrr)‚ 'cause the message is I can mumble rap and still be the best there is#(Woo-ah) [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Outro: Mumbo] Oh you wanted me to do a verse? I’ll#I'll have to check with G Team- I mean uh‚ I'd have to‚ I'll have to check with my schedule And see if I can...see if I'm able to do that#sort of thing I'm a busy guy‚ got lots of ....things to do Yeah‚ I mean‚ I just don't know if its a good idea for me to be part of this song
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perenlop · 2 months
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my hope for the pokemon presents that i know will not happen is gates to infinity remake ok bye
#listen i knowwwwwwww explorers is more popular and its got more fans and itd sell well and itd be good to see it in the spotlight#i agree with all that it makes sense. but i cant help but view it as a bowsers inside story remake scenario#where its just like. kinda pointless bc the original is functionally fine#meanwhile my soul hurts when i think about how gti was kinda screwed over by its development and time#it came out during that time all 3ds games felt really janky to play so it feels awkward#and like. just compare the environments in gti compared to psmd#psmd doessss have more diverse environments to be fair but environments that should feel more grand just feel off in gti#like glacier palace doesnt look AWFUL but it hurts to see it compared to the animated version from the commercials#and like. imagine the glow up if it got the dx treatment. if the environments were all fixed and the job system was updated#and we got a larger starter pool and maybe even a postgame. ik they didnt add much to pmd dx#but that game had a fairly beefy postgame and all that while gti has.... pretty much nothing besides dlc#anyways it wont happen bc gti is the most hated pmd game by a fairly wide margin and itd piss ppl off and itd probably get a bullshit $60#price tag#but like. i want it. i want it ok. i want to see them fix gti and bring out its full potential. i love its story sm#ik theres the demake but theyre also changing the pokemon choices there (which ik they cant help. repository doesnt have timburr and gurdur#but still) so i kinda wanna wait to see when thats done or its got all the assets
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oughh......
#laya plays dragon age#da2#oc: liam hawke#this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that#but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH.#i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok#bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years#years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard#and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left#and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it#varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home#drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother#and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life#and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision#but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings#and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade#and he cant do it#and he hates it so much. but he wont do it.#and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways#if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands#as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even#the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it#but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too#if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more#''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me#dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more#or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever#anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again
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barkingangelbaby · 14 days
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at least i get to be cozy in a shirt i printed
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lottieurl · 1 year
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yellowjackets "pilot" & "friends, romans, countrymen" // becket or the honour of god by jean anouilh
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kaseyskat · 1 year
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being both a sparrow apologist and a normal enthusiast is so difficult sometimes I am sitting here imagining them bonding and crying over canon and so few people truly understand me
#kasey rambles#dndads#no you guys dont understand. sparrow is a good parent! to me!!!#which is highly ironic because i was FURIOUS at him on my first listen#BUT. theres a post that puts this into words somewhere. about how judging sparrow for saying something#when he was in a state of complete vulnerability#FEELS like thoughtshaming a bit. because like#i think sparrow has this mentality of. i dont have to be proud of someone to love them. and i will love them so hard in spite#because he gets too in his head and he worries and he doesnt want normal to be like him#and he feels like this about henry and lark too- hes not proud of them. in fact theyve both actively mistreated him. but he loves them#and that's enough#its like. we're not sitting here bashing on grant for the REALLY shitty way he inflicts his own self loathing onto link#because we know grant only says this when hes vaguely sauced#but sparrow gets SO much heat for saying hes not proud of normal when he was both drunk AND sauced simultaneously#and maybe like. if there were signs that sparrows let this mentality ruin their relationship in the past?#but theres not. the reason it hurts normal so much is because it was UNEXPECTED.#it made him doubt his own memories and his history but. as far as we know. its only doubts. sparrow loves normal so much#and sparrows always been the first one sitting there apologizing (which is another story: we love seeing him continue the oak cycle)#and loving. and accepting normals anger.#god this was such a rant im sorry for anyone actually reading my tags shdjfkdkkfvk#i just have such strong feelings about how like. in comparison? sparrow is NOT as bad of a parent as yall think he is#and i think the only reason we think otherwise is because we only see him through normal#if we got his own pov? youd forgive him just like we forgive henry#also i would kill for sparrow choosing normal over lark i feel like thats a decision hes gonna have to make pretty soon
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gothhabiba · 1 year
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