#when the reason i was neglecting myself so much in the first place was because of the pressure she put on me to always excel in school

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsters Reimagined: Yeenoghu, Demon Lord of Insatiable Hunger

It's been some years since I did my overhaul on the lore of the gnolls and how they embody the weird de/humanization that goes on with various monsters over d&d's history. Ever since I've had more than a few folks write in asking about how I would handle the default Gnoll God Yeenoghu, who exists in a similar state of "Kill everything that ever existed" to Orcus and a good portion of the game's other late game threats, thematically flat and not really useful for building stories around.

For a while I've avoided doing this post because I thought it might skew a little too close to my personal philosophy, and risk going from simply being influenced by my views to an outright soapbox. I personally hold that despite being part of our nature hunger is the source of the majority of human cruelty, and if society and cooperation are the tools we developed to best fight against the threat of famine, it is fear of that famine that allows the powerful to control society and secure their positions of privilege.

I've also dealt with disordered eating in a prior period of my life, alternating between neglecting my body's needs and punishing myself for needing in the first place. I'm well acquainted with hunger and the hollowing effect it can have, though I'd never claim to know it so well as someone who went hungry by anything other than choice and self hatred.

Learning to love food again saved saved my life. The joy of eating, of feeling whole and nourished, yes, but there was also the joy of making: of experimenting, improving, providing, being connected to a great tradition of cultivation which has guided our entire species.

If I was going to talk about an evil god of hunger, I was going to have to touch on all of that, and now that it's out in the open I can continue with a more thematic and narrative discussion on the beast of butchery below the cut.

What's wrong: Going by the default lore, there's not much that really separates Yeenoghu from any other chaotic evil mega-boss. He wants to kill everything in vicious ways, and encourages his followers to do the same. He's there so that the evil clerics can have someone to pray to because the objectively good gods are on the party's side and wouldn't help a bunch of cannibalistic slavers.

This is boring, we've done this song and dance before, and the only reason that there are so many demon lords/evil gods/archdevils like this is because the bioessentialism baked into the older editions of the game's lore was also a theological essentialism, and that every group had to have their own gods which perfectly embodied their ethos and there was no crossover whatsoever, themes be damned.

Normally I'd do a whole section about "what can be salvaged" from an old concept, but we're scraping the bottom of the barrel right from the inset. Likewise my trick of combining multiple bits of underwritten d&d mythology to make a sturdier concept isn't going to work as most of d&d's other gods of hunger or famine are similar levels of paper thin.

How do we fix it: I want Yeenoghu to be the opposite of the path I found myself on, a hunger so great and so painful that it percludes happiness, cooperation, or even rational thought. Hunger not as a sumptuous hedonistic gluttony but a hollowing emptiness that compels violence and desperation. More than just psychopathic slaughter and gore, it is becalmed sailors drinking seawater to quench their thirst, the urban poor mixing sawdust and plaster into their food because their wages are not enough to afford grain.

This is where we get the idea of Yeenoghu as an enemy of society, not because violence is antithical to society ( I think we've learned by now how structured violence can really be) but because society fundamentally breaks down when it can't take care of the people who provide its foundations. Contrast the Beast of Butchery with one of my other favourite villainous famine spirits: Caracalla the grim trader, who embodies scarcity as a form of profit and control in to Yeenoghu's scarcity as suffering.

Into this we can also add the idea of the hungry dead, ghouls yes but also vampires, anything cursed with an eternal existence and appetites it no longer has the ability to sate. A large number of cultures across the world share the idea that the dead cannot rest while they are starving, which is why we leave offerings of food by their graves or pour out a glass to the ones we lost along the way.

On that topic, there's also a scrap of lore involving Doresain god of ghouls, who has been depicted as an on and off servant of Yeenoghu. Since I'm already remaking the mythology, I'd have Doresain act as a sort of saint or herald for the demon lord, the wicked but still partially reasonable entity who can villain monolog before the feral and all consuming demon god shows up.

Summing it all up: Yeenoghu isn't a demon you wittingly worship, it's a demon that claims you, marks you as its mouthpiece and through you seeks to consume more of the world. It gives you just enough strength to keep on living, keep on suffering, keep on filling that hole in your belly and feed it in turn.

The greatest of these mouthpieces is Doresain, an elf of ancient times who's unearthly hungers elevated him to demigod status. Known as the knawbone king, he dwells within a dread domain of the shadowfell, and is sought out only for his ability to intercede with the maw-fiend's rampages.

Signs: Unnaturally persistent hunger pangs, excessive drool and gurgling stomach noises, the growth of extra teeth in the mouth, stomachs splitting open into mouths.

Symbols: An animal with three jaws, a three tailed flail or spiked whip. A crown of knawed bones (Doresain)

Titles: Beast of butchery, the maw fiend, the knawing god

Artist

#monsters reimagined #fiend #yeenoghu #undead #deity

[actual-changeling]

See, but there's something about the first fight in episode 1 that just doesn't really. fit. It very much feels like we are missing information here.

I have been thinking about this show all day, as one does, but in particular why Crowley gets angry enough to shoot literal lightning at a nearby building. We have experienced him upset before, but never to that specific degree, and their disagreement over Gabriel just does not explain it for me.

My hypothesis: a big, important fight happened right before season 2 picks up that left Crowley feeling rejected and Aziraphale neglected.

The biggest clue is the snippet of conversation about myself vs. ourselves.

"I thought we had carved it out for ourselves"

He almost sounds offended when he says that, yet Crowley reacts with equal parts hurt and anger, like he is referencing something that we, the viewer, do not have any knowledge of.

"So did I"

However, Aziraphale seems to understand whatever Crowley is referring to and does not respond with anything in return. Yet whatever wound they just opened keeps bleeding, and when Aziraphale tells him, packaged nicely, to fuck off, Crowley seems more sad than upset to me.

The to go? is almost said softly and with an initial confusion that hides a LOT of unspoken pain. Plus the HAND MOTION? The gesturing between the two of them while saying "oh, so this is how you wanna do this?" - call me insane, but to me that very much sounds like "oh so this is how you want to break up?"

The funny part is, if Aziraphale had simply shut up after saying "I want you to help me take care of him", I can GUARANTEE YOU that Crowley would have begrudgingly agreed. But he doesn't. He keeps going and this is the first moment this season where he is genuinely and truly bitchy.

"But if you won't, you won't" with the demonstrative sit-down and turning away from him, eyes forward. It pokes at whatever wound is still open and bleeding between them. Aziraphale wants Crowley to jump over his shadow and come help him, ignoring his boundaries. Meanwhile Crowley feels fundamentally misunderstood and rejected and wants Aziraphale to SHOW that he cares about Crowley more than he cares about fucking Gabriel of all people.

That he cares about them more than about heaven.

And now we have finally reached Crowley's breaking-point. he is so deeply hurt by what Aziraphale just said and did, choosing heaven over them, that the pain turns into anger because he has no other way of expressing or feeling it in the first place.

You're on your own with this one.

That last look is filled with such disappointed heartbreak, he turns around simply to give Aziraphale a chance to ask him to stay, to apologize, something. Yet again, he does not. He doesn't even meet his gaze, he is looking away.

To me, he seems almost spiteful, like this entire argument is only superficially about Gabriel but about something entirely else deeper down.

Which - that's the point, isn't it?

Crowley comes back and apologizes because Aziraphale matters more to him than stupid arguments or choosing sides, keeping him safe is the only thing he cares about when it comes down to it. He swallows down his hurt and betrayal and does what Aziraphale wants: ignoring the entire argument and pretending nothing ever happened so they can continue like before.

Only that they can't. The entire season shows just how much they cannot go back to their arrangement, no matter how hard Crowley tries to mold himself to Aziraphale's will. Their final argument simply reflects all of that and more. The same wound that first one was about gets reopened very violently and they're bleeding all over each other with no way to stop it because they're too fucking stubborn to admit that it exists in the first place.

Aziraphale and Crowley can only fix their relationship when they acknowledge the reason the rift between them opened up. Until then, Crowley feels truly rejected and Aziraphale feels entirely neglected, and there is nothing anyone can do to make them confront that.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow #crowly x aziraphale #go2 #literally there HAS to have been an argument between the seasons #something caused them to be like this in the first place #this didnt come out of nowhere and it wasn't completely slow either #there was a fight and they both know when they reference it but never actually talk about it #ineffable husbands more like ineffable IDIOTS

[calisources]

𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑? 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒.

All these quotes are taken from different media and some made from scratch about the royal succession line and the troubles it brought during a medieval/fantasy period. Change pronouns, names, titles and locations as you see fit.

You poison a king so that they may take his place.

Have no fear, Stark. I was only keeping it warm for our friend Robert. It's not a very comfortable seat, I'm afraid.

I swear to you, sitting a throne is a thousand times harder than winning one.

Seat Stannis on the Iron Throne and I promise you, the realm will bleed.

I will claim the Iron Throne by myself, with your swords and your allegiance.

If Daenerys is no more than a sweet young girl, the Iron Throne will cut her into sweet young pieces.

Princess Catherine. Your loss has endeared you to the people. They share your grief.

 You've had your courses for days, but you do not tell anyone. I don't understand.

God would have me wed Prince Harry.

But you are his brother's widow. It is impossible. It is forbidden.

I am every inch the soldier... And commander.

In England, widows don't handle swords, much less a widow carrying a prince in her womb. 

And I'll wager that you were praying for a boy.

My mother is already planning my next marriage, though in God's eyes it will be my first marriage.

If you are still a maid, then, Catherine, I can be your husband. 

I will raise you up, you... you and all of England. You will be my princess and... and my queen.

Ten years since the king has been on the throne and there is no heir apparent. Only his brother, gods forbid. 

Daughters don’t inherit, sons do. 

You have a son but you must have a spare too. Gods know what would happen if the boy dies.

The line of succession is clear on these matters. Girls are the last resource.

I am a woman, whoever I marry must be clear on his duty. He is not the crown, I am.

His Majesty has no male heir and will have none but he, Buckingham will succeed to the throne.

By assassinating His Majesty.

Right of Conquest is still a rightful way to gain a throne. Has anyone banned it as a law?

Will you like it when an old man tries to make love to you?

 God forbid that the king should abandon her just to ease his own conscience. I don't think the English people would ever forgive him.

She is threatening the peace in this realm by playing the king with empty promises. No one can predict a son. 

Perhaps the succession must change, this dynasty is large and will survive.

Your Majesty, I beg that you yield to the King's will.

To your wife, the mother of your child. You treat me so unkindly and in public neglect me.

You think he might invade England in support of the queen?

You underestimate the support he/she has with the smallfolk and highborn alike. They would  go to war if you dismiss them.

Perhaps, one day this little girl will preside over empires.

Now I am indeed Queen.

Perhaps Elizabeth isn't even mine! 

Perhaps there should be reasons to annul the marriage and make the king consider marry another. He is still young. 

Nothing like a young bride to make a man forget his troubles. 

He will have his heir or else he will have my head.

Tell Sir Francis to double the guards around the Princess Mary and defend her with their life- for if the King dies, some will be for the boy, others for her.

There shall be a proclamation soon, the king shall announce his heir and the realm will rest.

A lifetime of building an empire can fall in a day because of the wrong successor to the empire.

It is not by blood, anyhow, that man's true continuity is established.

He became their king by right of blood; he's held the position by beating the crap out of anyone who tries to take it away.

When the crown is weak and struggles, anyone can come and sweep it away. And in this world, it is allowed.

This small council tried to work out what that meant for the line of succession.

If she were to wed him, her claim to the throne will increase, as her popularity. 

While the king entertains the highborns, the prince/princess makes friends with the people they rule. The decision is easy.

Whoever he marries is as important as how many heirs he can produce. 

Sons are good for the realm, Daughters are good for alliances. 

My father chose me, his firstborn child, to succeed him. He held to his decision until death.

They stole my crown and murdered my daughter, and they shall answer for it.

I would rather feed my sons to the dragons, than have them carry spears and cups for your drunken, usurper cunt of a king.

I understand why you're angry. And you are my sister and technically have a claim to the throne. And believe me, I would love for someone else to rule. But it can't be you.

Father would hate to see you sit in his seat, when it was never you he chose.

The pretty decent king split the crown between his heirs.

Proclamations are good, but this should have been in written, send to every corner of the world. Now we have war.

When the king needed to be replaced, one of the royal family would be elected to be the new king.

Succession is never peaceful. The King new this and the reason he called a council for his new heir to be chosen.

The line must always continue.

That little bit of dragon blood in him allowed Robert Baratheon to sit on the throne and continue.

Our son is a wastrel and a halfwit. We shudder to think of the throne in his hands.

My greatest hope is that you will surpass me in every way, consigning my name to some forgotten corner of history.

What's most important is what he isn't like—his father. I think you'll find him to be a reasonable man.

The King is easily controlled by those in his council. All too happy to give some of the power away to another.

A king is a martyr to their ideals.

If the world of men is to survive, a Targaryen must be seated on the Iron Throne.

Women can rule as wise as men, perhaps even more.

Men would sooner put the realm to the torch than see a woman ascend the Iron Throne.

Have you never imagined yourself on the Iron Throne?

We have royal wombs, you and I. The child bed is our battlefield.

Ten years you’ve been king, and yet not once have you asked me to be your Hand.

The princess remains your best bet to step closer to the throne. Seduce her, marry her. 

In the end, history will remember little, as history is written by the winners.

You have not one son now but two, Your Grace. Perhaps some changes to the successions are to be made.

I know why you are here. Men want my crown as much as they want the pleasure of a woman. 

I need to give the realm an heir and plenty of spares. 

What use is to gain a throne if you are already in crisis by having no heir by blood?

I can give you what she never gave you. Another son. 

Are the rumors true, then? There is a child in your belly? 

All of my father’s work will crumble if I leave it all to a weak sickly child.

#roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. ) #rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #medieval meme #tournament meme #tourney meme

[farfromstrange]

Lizzi’s Valentine’s Special & Follower Celebration

Dear Everyone,

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I thought, since this silly little blog hit over 1.1k followers yesterday, I want to give you something special.

First of all, though, I want to thank you. I’ve been on here since (and I checked with the archive) July 19, 2022. I can't believe that it has been almost two years. I started watching Daredevil after watching Spider-Man: No Way Home in December of 2021 and hearing Matt Murdock say, "I'm a really good lawyer," after catching a brick. So, I started watching the show, and that was during a time I was really miserable. Mentally and physically, I wasn't in a good place, but after watching Daredevil for the first time and falling in love with Charlie Cox as a genuine person and an actor, it felt like I found a reason to keep going.

I started writing fanfiction again, which I kind of neglected because I felt like this hobby of mine wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't inspired at all until I watched the show. If I hadn't, I probably would not have gotten back into writing and using it as an outlet for my feelings, and I probably wouldn't be where I am today. Thanks to Charlie's portrayal of Matt Murdock, and watching his interviews, I felt like I could do the things that I love again and follow my dreams. He's the reason I chose to major in English. And while I owe him that much, I owe you guys here on Tumblr and AO3 even more.

When I first posted here, I didn't think people would even be interested in what I had to say and write. But then more and more people started visiting my profile, you guys started following me, and it kept me motivated to keep writing, even when I'm miserable, and I sometimes only post once every blue moon.

I feel so honored that you guys chose to follow a silly little blog run by a silly little 20-something-year-old whose first language isn't even English (but made it her entire personality), and who chose to write about traumatized dark-haired characters portrayed by Charlie Cox. I'm overwhelmed by the love you continue to show me, and every time one of you chooses to reblog or comment on one of my works, saying that it resonated with you, I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm sharing my ideas, my own experiences, my wishes, and even my deepest, darkest dreams through my writing like it's a fucking diary, and you eat it up every single time.

I'm just so glad that this community exists, as chaotic as it sometimes is, and that you chose to stick around, even when I suck at keeping promises sometimes. You keep teaching me new things about who I am, my writing, and how important it is to put myself first. I don't know if you've heard it lately, but you guys are incredible and I appreciate the hell out of every single one of you.

Thanks to Tumblr, I made lifelong friends (especially looking at you, @blackshadowswriter) and found like-minded people that made me feel less alone. That alone was worth making this account and continuing to post on here.

You may think that I'm being dramatic, but for someone who has never really experienced the kind of validation this community gives me, I want to celebrate this milestone. It means more to me than I can even put into words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much! Please, don't ever forget how amazing you are.

That being said, I've got some exciting things planned.

The other day, I found a folder in my Docs titled "the vault". I completely forgot about it because I usually keep my WIPs in a different folder. As it turns out, I made that folder for fics that I originally never planned to post, or ones that I'd finished but wasn't happy with. It’s many, but it’s a few. Some are deeper than others. I also jotted down rough ideas and outlines last year that I stuffed in there, some of which I've actually shared with you but never started working on. Until now. And the contents of that vault are what I want to give to you now.

INTRODUCING: The Vault

6 stories from the vault. 1 bonus fic. 7 days.

I went through a myriad of emotions while I wrote these. For some, I actually bled my soul onto paper. For others, it was merely a brain fart that led to their existence. They're sad, horny, and at times angry, but some of those were originally written for me, and only me. Those that weren't started as a few sentences in a folder before I forgot they existed. Either way, I don't want them to catch dust. And I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else.

Starting February 14th, I will be posting one fic every day until February 20th. My “The Vault” works are Matt Murdock x Reader works, but I've made an exception for the bonus fic. I won't tell you what they are about, but I will give you a list of installments and what kind of fic they are so you know what to be excited about (and maybe which ones are not your cup of tea).

-> The number at the end tells you the date I will be posting it on, but I put it in chronological order as well.

INSTALLMENTS:

1. If You Need To Be Mean (angst, hurt/comfort) 14.

2. Mismatched Bridesmaid (fluff, smut) 15.

3. Weed Cookies (humor, fluff, cw: accidental drug use) 16.

4. the grudge (songfic, angst, hurt/comfort, cw: death of a parent) 17.

5. Halloween (Smut) 18.

6. I Want To Fuck A Priest (Smut, cw: priest!Matt) 19.

BONUS:

7. Now That We Don’t Talk (Part 2 of Is It Over Now?) -> Frank Castle x Reader (smut, angst) 20.

A few more words: You are free to send me an ask if you want to know more, but be prepared that I won't be answering in much detail. I don't want to spoil the fun. I would, however, not mind talking about them as vaguely as possible (if you’re interested).

Thank you all. For everything. And I hope you stick around to read these little gems.

With love from yours truly,

Lizzi <3

#lizzi writes #follower celebration #valentine’s day #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x you #frank castle x reader #matt murdock smut #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock angst #charlie cox

[nsyncat]

OK, so this is my first post EVER since I joined Tumblr like ten years ago. Always been a lurker, enjoying all of the wonderful things here, the gifs, fics, ships, art, all the knowledge and all the amazing heritage posts, but never posting and hardly reblogging, I don't know why, was always afraid I would make a mistake or reblogg incorrectly...

Anyway, the reason this is my first time posting is because THAT amazing moment that happened a week ago, and I've been losing my mind ever since, and unfortunately I have nobody to share this excitement with that will understand... So I had to get it out somehow, and here seems like the perfect place to do so.

I don't know if anybody will read this or pay it any attention, but never mind, I just have TO. GET. IT ALL. OUT!

So I've been a loyal fan of 9-1-1 this past six years, got hooked to these kind of first responders dramas, also Station 19 and then of course Lone Star. I fell in love with the writing, the drama and action, the characters of course, the emotional and moving stories, both of the regular cast and the people in the emergencies (am not afraid to admit that I cried more than a few times, especially when I was pregnant... woooh, that was a tough season for me).

Anyway, like everyone else, got invested in Buck's storyline and of course hopped on the Buddie train in season 2. And obviously there was something between them, and the fandom always clowned themselves that "in the next season SOMETHING is going to happen!" and I always wanted to believe it, and also fooled myself a few times but always was the cold harsh realist and realised it was not going to happen... But enjoyed the ride nonetheless, read amazing fics, saw wonderful fanart, read interesting breakdowns and analysis.

And then 704 happened and I'm not joking or exaggerating, my life changed!

Confirming that Buck is Bi was amazing! I'm ashamed to admit that I really thought it won't happen, EVER! So I still can't believe it actually happened (thank you soooo much ABC!) and like a lot of you, I've been on cloud nine this past week and can't wait for tomorrows episode (also not from the US), literally counting down the hours.

And look, I love Buddie, I really do, but I fell in love with TEVAN (my favourite one yet) 😍 and been OBSESSED with them this past week. Just from those few moments between them and what we barely know that is going to happen the next episode, I truly fell in love with them and really hope they make it as far as they can. I think its an amazing thing for Buck and also CANT. STOP. WATCHING THE KISS! The actors did an incredible job, especially Oliver, also with his spoken support of the storyline and his love for Buck. Such a KING! So this whole thing is huge.

And I have a one-year-old, my life is hectic with taking care of a little human being, a hubby who is also very busy, work, family and a million other things and this past year with a heavy heart I kinda neglected reading fics, and it was my main hobby, my escape, my one and constant thing in my LIFE since I was 12. I do read here and there, but not like I used to, reading hours and hours and into the night, multi chapters and long oneshots, in multiple fandoms, and now whenever I do get to read something once In a blue moon I'm not fully invested or enjoying it because either I'm tired or have something else more important to do. And unfortunately, eventually I noticed that I lost this fire, the passion in me and it left me sad and heartbroken...

And then something incredible happened. Ever since that earth-shattering kiss, the fire and passion came back! Holy shit! I've been reading and ENJOYING fics nonstop this whole week, I can't concentrate on work thinking about everything and reading in-between tasks, I use every single free minute I have to search new fics and scroll through the tags, I go to sleep late because I need to read just one more fic(!!!) even tough I have to wake up very early in the morning and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'm thinking about it sooo much and imagining new scenarios in my head, and feeling giddy and happy, in a good mood a lot of the time, more optimistic, knowing I have a new and exciting place I can "escape" to, like I had in the past.

Its not that i'm not happy, I have an amazing son and a wonderful husband and I cherish every moment with them, but these are hard and difficult times and life can be hard and stressful and I'm a different kind of happy... So these past few days have been nourishment for my soul and my mood, it sounds so silly but its true! I'm feeling a bit like my old self and it's amazing.

And if someone did read this or did pay attention and got to this point, sorry for the long rant and thank you so much for the patience and understanding 🙏 I love you and wish you a wonderful weekend and happy Buck's-first-date-with-a-man day! 🥰

So I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, ABC, Oliver, Lou and you crazy lot for resurrecting my old fangirl self 😌 I'm so grateful for all your posts, your takes, your similar enjoyment and of course your amazing fics you're writing and sharing 🩵

#911 abc #buck x tommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 season 7 #personal #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr #911 #tevan

[zoeykallus]

Hi Zoey,

Thank you so much for your head cannons.☺️ Our Queen of Head cannons! Anyway today has been kinda a bad day for me; and since your stories have always cheered me up. Some backstory so you can understand what I’m asking: when I have bad days I have a hard time forcing myself to eat. Would you be willing to write a hc about it. That would be wonderful if you would. Gn character with bad batch and anyone else you would like to write with it.😇🤗 Thank you! Even you don’t write it that’s ok.

Aloha! First off, I have to apologize for taking so long. This request dates back to February 😨

Apart from requests piling up, the time between January and April was hard on me. Sorry! Enough with the excuses, let's get to work...

The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Take Better Care Of Yourself

Warnings: Suggested Eating Disorder

__________________________

Hunter

As patient as he can be, he doesn't like it when you neglect yourself. Especially when he perceives it repeatedly, he intervenes. "I know you're not feeling very well right now, but you need to keep up your strength". You can argue or whine back and forth all you want, you see Hunter standing in front of you, arms crossed in front of his chest, brows drawn together critically. He won't listen to any excuses. He doesn't want to grumble, and he knows you're not really doing it on purpose, but from his life with his brothers, he only knows the path of severity in situations like this. "Eat at least half, I don't want you to pass out on us here," he finally growls, also making sure you do just that. He takes you aside later, massages your shoulders and talks to you gently, trying to relax you and bring you to other thoughts, hoping that he can drive away the gloomy thoughts and maybe stimulate your appetite again. He will leave no stone unturned to help you.

Echo

He can't take a joke when it comes to food, especially since he puts so much effort into preparing it. And Echo is a fantastic cook. When Wrecker is already reaching for your portion because you're not eating again, Echo slaps him on the wrist. "'Stop that! That's not your plate." "But-" Echo's critical, stern look makes the giant fall silent, pouting. You can't help but feel guilty, Echo has a knack for just looking at you and making you feel guilty about food or generally how well you take care of yourself. However, Echo also knows that he can't force you to do anything and might even make things worse. Instead, he'll prepare a picnic basket filled with all sorts of things you like best and arrange to whisk you away to one of your favorite places together at the earliest opportunity, hoping to stimulate an appetite there. He'll also take you up on that food problem. "How can I help you? What can I do to make you feel better, love?"

Wrecker

At first, he doesn't think much of it. There are rare moments when he loses his appetite, but he has already experienced with his brothers that this can happen. He gladly accepts the extra portion you offer him. But he notices that this pattern repeats itself, and he starts to worry. "You can have my portion too." Wrecker frowns, you see his expression suddenly look worried. "Again? Aren't you hungry?" "Not really," you admit. Wrecker seeks advice from his brothers before discussing the problem with you. He tries everything possible to stimulate your appetite. He gets your favorite snacks, creates a special ambiance, takes you hiking to make you hungry, gives you relaxing massages. Wrecker has no shortage of ideas. Wrecker wants you to be healthy and happy, he makes it his mission to make sure you have everything you need. In this, he is very persistent and lovingly determined.

Tech

The first few times, Tech doesn't say anything, but he notices and makes mental notes. In fact, he keeps a sort of mental log of all your mannerisms and things you do, among other reasons, to better understand you. Finally, you do it again, leave the food, and Tech looks up from his datapad. "You have an eating disorder." Surprised, you look at him. "What?" "Your strange behavior, regarding your food intake, indicates that you have an eating disorder. To be honest, that worries me greatly," he says matter-of-factly, pushing his goggles with his index finger and examining your body with his gaze. He explains to you in gruesome detail how this can affect your health, what diseases and disabilities can be triggered by the lack of certain essential nutrients over time, how they show up, the symptoms, and the less-than-pleasant end results. Tech doesn't hold back on this, even though he sees you squirming. He thinks it's extremely important that you're aware of any consequences. "Perhaps we should consider therapeutic measures before it gets to a point where we may be left with invasive, medical options. Force-feeding, is probably extremely uncomfortable." He may seem very matter of fact and maybe even cruel, but Tech is worried, he is approaching this in such a logical, almost clinical way because that is his way, that doesn't change the fact that underneath the matter of fact facade sits an anxious Tech who is in agony out of fear of seeing you suffer or even losing you. Communicate with him, tell him what is bothering you, what exactly is preventing you from eating. Give him the opportunity to work with you to find a way to address this problem.

Crosshair

He is very attentive and notices your eating behavior immediately. "You're not one of those who stuff themselves with food when no one's looking and then puke it back out, are you?" You look at him in surprise. "What?" Sourly, he says, "I swear, if I catch you doing that then-" Crosshair interrupts himself, he doesn't really know what to threaten you with himself, basically he's just worried and can't really handle it. He's going to ask his brothers and get information elsewhere to find out what he can do. Crosshair wants you to be well, even though it may not seem that way at first. He is not angry at you, but at the helplessness he is pushed into in this situation. It will take a while, but he is adjusting and doing his best to accommodate you helpfully. He will leave no means untouched, whether they are interpersonal, therapeutic, or otherwise medical.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

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@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@starwarsnerd111

#star wars headcanons #hunter #wrecker #echo #crosshair #tech #tbb #crosshair tbb #echo tbb #hunter tbb #star wars tbb #sw tbb #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #tbb echo #tbb hunter #tbb hunter x reader #tbb tech #tbb tech x reader #tbb wrecker #tbb x reader #wrecker tbb #bad batch #the bad batch #clone force 99 #tech tbb #star wars #hunter x reader #bad batch tech #eating disorder

[h-worksrambles]

James' interactions with Eddie are something I've found myself thinking about a lot since finishing Silent Hill 2. Pretty much every character in the game serves double duty as being fleshed out as individuals, while also serving as a commentary on some facet of James as a character. Maria is the most obvious, but you also have Angela's self loathing and suicidal ideation, which reflects James' own self flagellation through Pyramid Head. Laura echoes many of the regrets James himself feels about his distance and possible neglect of Mary before she died, and throws those thoughts back in his face out of her own anger. By that same logic, I'd argue Eddie is a means for James to confront his denial as well as his capacity for violence.

Eddie comes to Silent Hill on the run after lashing out against those who bullied him since childhood. After being mocked for years due to his appearance and weight, he shoots both his bully, and the bully's dog, and so ends up coming to the town. Like James and Angela, he too committed a crime of passion (assuming Angela did indeed kill her abusive dad as is implied), and all three are trying to come to terms with what they did. Unlike Angela, who knows what she did and has been conditioned by her abuse to blame herself, Eddie is closer to James, seeming to actively deny what he has done. Or at least only sometimes. It's not entirely clear (and I invite anyone to correct me if I'm minsinterpreting) but Eddie seems to experience multiple personalities. He flips between being more aware of his surroundings and past, and more out of it and unaware. Sometimes he's gleefully boasting about how the people he's killed had it coming. Sometimes he's sat eating pizza like he isn't even aware what kind of place he's in. And we see this flip when James confronts Eddie in Toulca Prison, finding him standing over another body. At first he revels in his kill, and rationalises it, before seeming to flip, and attempt to feign ignorance, as if the prior conversation never happened. For all his bravado, I'd imagine the blood on his hands is extremely traumatic, just as it is for James, and this is likely a psychological coping mechanism. With his false memories repressing his past actions and allowing him to deny it, Eddie mirrors James in that respect. As well as how they're both mild mannered people but who are capable of acts of terrible violence when pushed far enough.

What really stands out to me is that every encounter with Eddie is done in a way that allows James to claim the moral high-ground. When James finds Eddie vommiting in the apartment bathroom, he expresses concern. When Laura runs off from the bowling alley, James berates Eddie for not showing more concern for her safety (giving us one of the most iconic meme lines in the series). And most blatantly, James is horrified when he finds Eddie, having just shot somebody dead. Most tellingly he says "You can't just kill someone just because of the way they looked at you!" And yet, isn't that precisely what James did? He killed Mary because of the exhaustion of caring for her in the late stages of her illness. Because of the way she spoke to him. The way she looked at him. James spends all his interactions with Eddie trying to convince himself that he's a good person. A better person than Eddie. But the more he encounters Eddie, the more Eddie becomes a mirror to him. He definitely has his own struggles as a character and makes a very prescient point about what happens when people are constantly rejected, mocked and socially isolated by society, convinced that they are unlovable (in some ways, Silent Hill 2 was making some very relevant points about incel culture in 2001). But he's also a means for James to confront the parts of himself he doesn't like. His frustration, self-loathing, denial and violent streak. When Eddie tells James that they're the same, that they were both called by the town for a reason...he's right.

And ultimately, for all of James' posturing, all his denial, all his attempts to be the moral voice of reason, James still ultimately ends standing over Eddie's corpse.

Once again, he's killed another person. And confronting that side of himself one of the last things he does before arriving at the Lakeview Hotel and being forced to fully accept the truth...

#this game is so good and i feel like i have to start putting my thoughts down about the story #i feel like you could do something like this for james' dynamic with every character tbh #eddie dombrowski #james sunderland #silent hill 2 #silent hill #silent hill 2 spoilers #canon typical cws

[chai-en-kaadhale]

fucking WHAT

OKOKOK

OK

OKAY

WHY WOULD YOU TAKE AWAY SUCH A CRUCIAL ELEMENT TO DUNE'S WORLD BUILDING

WHY

//////// this is a rant this is a rant it was a decent movie i just hate how the plot felt dumbed down and this was one such instance

So for movie onlys that may come across this post, the Butlerian Jihad was a holy war waged against machines with the ability to think for us- so not ALL machines, just the ones that directly influence our opinions and thoughts and stuff

It's the reason Dune has things like Mentats, it's the reason the Bene Gesserit can use the voice and stuff- by removing these hindrances on the mind and pushing it to the limit of what it can do, the people of Dune are capable of achieving feats almost superhuman in nature

It also serves to move forward the idea of being in full control of oneself, one's thoughts, et cetera, since machines that think for you do not allow that

((btw this felt kinda neglected to me personally through the movie- like the colonialism thing was definitely a forefront, but what, for example, made the harkonnens evil wasn't their evil bald heads (AND THEY WERENT FUCKING BALD IN THE BOOK EITHER (oh movie feyd-rautha your lack of ringlets will always sadden me)) but their lack of control over their desires which made them more animalistic))

So to entirely remove such a central part of Dune's universe is just incredibly dumb imo

The one argument I've heard so far was because of the word "jihad" being used and ok.

//Note that I myself am neither muslim nor Arab so I'm not sure about the degree to which I can speak on this, and I don't mean to speak FOR them either

I get that it's associated with terrorism. Because the entire religion of Islam and the entire MENA region is generalized and associated with terrorism because of racism and islamophobia. Its so fucking stupid and I hate that but ig that's the reality we live in rn. 🙂

But jihad means holy war. As a technical term it is entirely correct. Given the cultural inspiration Dune takes from Arab regions and Islam its a pretty appropriate use of the word.

If it's too political to use an Arab word like "jihad" in this context, ESPECIALLY in a story like Dune, then why make the movie at all? If western media actually cares "Oh So Much" about representation and not being bigoted or wtv, where are those sentiments here?

Why make a book that inherently discussed controversial things into a movie in the first place if youre only going to dumb it down for the big screen

What even would the point be

Where the fuck is Ray Bradbury when we need him

Supposedly the 1984 version called it the "Great Revolt" and the trailer opted for "crusade" in reference to Paul's war (not the Butlerian Jihad)

And ngl I would take the 1984 mention since despite the censoring of the word "jihad" it does still mean the same thing

But for the newer movie to not mention it all together is just frustrating

(either that or they didn't want to piss of the dumbass tech bros on twitter but what do I know)

(saying this as an engineering kid too)

#words words words #dune part 2 #dune 2 #dune #frank herbert #krimp.rants #I mean it doesn't even have to be like. Strictly faithful it just #it has to carry over the main points #butlerian jihad #take the rant with a grain of salt though this is just my 2 cents on the matter

[yuriwritestwst]

5 times Riddle has a bit of trouble adjusting to cohabitation + 1 time he falls right into place.

Notes: Riddle Rosehearts x GN!reader, friends to roommates to lovers, i wrote this for myself but y’all can read it too, there’s no plot lol

CW: Food, Riddle has a little bit of imposter syndrome, Riddle’s mom neglecting him

1.

Riddle moves in with you after completing his undergraduate degree, not because he’s had the biggest crush on you since what seems like forever (since his freshman year of college), but because he’s now a med student and under crippling debt with no way to afford an apartment himself.

Sure, he could have probably found another med student on his school’s Facebook page to room with, but he’s never been great at sharing personal spaces with complete strangers. He’s just a little bit shy, somewhat awkward, and knows that someone who doesn’t know him will think he’s some sort of control freak even if he’s been trying to get better over the years.

In theory, you’re Riddle’s ideal roommate. He’s known you for long enough and spent enough late nights with you in the library stressing over his GPA to know that it takes a lot for you to get tired of him, so when you offered to split rent, he’s more than eager to agree. He only thinks of the pros early on before the move: the place is equal distance away from your job and his school, it has two separate bedrooms, and there’s a grocery store nearby for reasonable cost. He doesn’t consider the cons, or rather, he can’t imagine there being any cons with you in the first place.

When the move-in process and organizing is complete, however, Riddle is equal parts nervous (because he realizes late that he’s now living with you for an indefinite amount of time) and surprised (because he realizes he’ll be seeing you a lot more than before and is way happier about this than anticipated).

Granted, he doesn’t really know what to do now. He’s always valued his personal time, but he also doesn’t know how much personal time you need and whether or not relationships change when you move in with a friend. Would him striking up a conversation with you scrolling silently on your phone on the couch annoy you? Or is it something you’re waiting for while trying to be considerate for him? Are you worried that he’ll be the one who snaps at you, because then perhaps it’s then his fault for not making the message clear that he would never do something like that.

Riddle’s confused so he shuffles awkwardly toward his room and settles on his chair. He makes a mental list of possible conversation starters but figures that he’s better off staying quiet and playing it safe. He doesn’t want to create problems only after just moving in.

“Riddle?” he hears you call from the living room and almost jumps out of his seat.

“Y-yes?!” It comes out close to a shriek, and he wants desperately for both himself and his heart to shut up. “Do you need something?”

“No,” you say, trying to peak through his door. “Just wondering if you want to chill on the couch. There’s enough space for the both of us, you know?”

Riddle spirals into a new set of concerns, because he’s not sure if you’re just inviting him to be polite or if he’s already being rude for leaving you alone. He can’t believe living with another person is so difficult, but when you call for him again, he decides walk back out, arms stuck to his side and smile rigid. He’s stiff, and he knows you notice this, but he can’t help it. Even the way he settles himself onto the couch is mechanic, leaving a significant gap between the two of you that doesn’t feel quite right to him. It’s just a few centimeters that he wants to close. He stays still as stone.

“You know,” you say absentmindedly. He needs to find a better, quieter way to express surprise. “This is kind of like when we used to study. Not that it was that long ago, but I thought I’d miss us just sitting around doing our own stuff. Good thing we moved in together, huh?”

Riddle feels ridiculously stupid for being so worried, because you’re absolutely right. Why on earth was he so nervous about sitting on the couch with you when he already had spent four years across from you at a library table without a single worry about whether or not he was acting as appropriate company. And during the time, he didn’t worry, because he figured if you bothered to go back to that spot every day without fail, then that was enough. He supposes that if the only thing that’s changed is the setting, then perhaps it still is enough.

“You don’t need to think too much about it,” you murmur quietly, almost as if you were reading his mind. Of course. You always knew what to say to him. “Just do whatever feels comfortable to you.”

Currently, what feels right to him is sitting just a smidge closer to you, so he scoots over until shoulders brush against each other like they always had on the bus back to the campus dorms. It’s a little strange to Riddle, because he finds that everything and nothing has changed at the same time. Yes, he’s still nervous, but it’s the giddy kind of nervousness where happiness and maybe excitement start bubbling through. For a brief second, he thinks that everything will be okay.

He will, though, have to work on the surge of disappointment that hits him when you leave the couch first even though it’s a perfectly normal thing to do. It’s a process of telling himself that it’s not because he’s boring but that it’s just how people live their own lives during cohabitation. It’s a process like most things, but he can’t help but worry why it’s giving him such a difficult time.

2.

And as if he’s not already having to go through mental Olympics to figure out the fine line between comfortable silence and friendly conversation, he comes back on his first day of med school on the same day you finish orientation at your new job. It’s not a big deal except for the fact that he finds himself reaching the entrance with you at the same time.

“Hello,” he says awkwardly, gripping his bag so tightly that his knuckles turn white. He watches as you fumble around with the keys, unlocking the door. The door to the apartment where you both live in, he reminds himself.

“Hey, Riddle,” you respond, not nearly as concerned as he is. “Doctor school doing you good?”

“Thankfully.” He walks in behind you, standing straight as pole while you take off your shoes. For some reason, he doesn’t move to do the same until you walk further in. “Unfortunately, it won’t stay this way. How was work?”

“Boring,” and just as you predict, Riddle rolls his eyes, because as he always says, boring is better than things spiraling into chaos. In fact, boring might be the best thing you could ask for on your first day. “Was the school nice?”

Riddle answers your question with ease, talking about how much quieter the library is compared to your undergrad days, how good the quality of the lecture hall is, and how neat the well-trimmed bushes outlining the main entrance walkway are. It’s only when he reaches the part about how much he appreciates the shine of clean linoleum floors that he wonders if he’s boring you.

It’s like cold water to his face when he realizes that the two of you now walked very different paths. For starters, you’re now fully employed and working a steady 9-5 job, but he’s still in school, same as always. He doesn’t have the excuse of being classmates with you anymore to talk about everything and anything related to his academics. From complaining about difficult professors to proofreading each other’s papers, he doesn’t have any pretext to talk to you about his life, and by extension, you don’t have any reason to listen to him. A pit forms in his stomach when he confronts the fact that he’s always unchanging, always the same, no matter how hard he tries.

(This is especially scary to him, because the more he watches you grow, the more he worries that you’ll leave him behind).

“Looking pretty troubled there,” you comment after Riddle abruptly stops in the middle of his rant. “Were the bushes that life-changing?”

He clears his throat. “No. I was just…worried that you find it dull. You don’t go to school anymore, after all.”

“Oh, but you know I love a good gossip session about the worst people aspiring to be doctors,” you reply with a mischievous grin. And he does know this, because it was the venting sessions with you that got him through the worst parts of his undergraduate years. “Plus, you know you can talk to me about anything right? That’s why I asked.”

“I’m sure you weren’t curious about how the floors of the auditorium looked,” Riddle says dryly with disbelief.

“Not true,” you protest, frowning. “I’m glad you don’t have to walk on cobblestone anymore, because I don’t think you’d last that long in heels without me being there to catch you anymore.”

“My heels got stuck one time.”

“And I caught you before you faceplanted onto the floor that one time,” you add. “That’s why you have to tell me everything, even if I’m not trying to be some fancy doctor like you are. I’m sure I’ll find a way to use it against you.”

“You will absolutely not.” He huffs and crosses his arms. “And I find this exchange rather unfair seeing as you haven’t told me anything about your job yet beside the fact that it’s boring.”

“Didn’t think you’d be interested.” You only notice how ironic it sounds when it leaves your mouth, much to Riddle’s amusement and slight upward quirk of his lips. “Fine. I guess you’re just dying to hear about how close my desk is to the nearest vending machine.”

Riddle, you discover, is indeed thoroughly invested, because even after you’re done describing your office layout, the people you came across during orientation, and what your project manager is like, he asks even more about your commute there and what your work will be like even though he doesn’t understand anything about computers. He thinks this is a one-time thing, of course, because once he actually starts school work, there’s no way you’ll care about what his textbook says or how his professors are, but the following day, when he comes home to you, you ask him about his day again. And again. And it’s strange to Riddle, because even without pretext, he finds how easily he can talk to you about anything even if you seem worlds apart from him.

“Look at this leaf!” you text him one day on your walk to the train stop. “It’s so ugly.”

“Good morning to you too,” he texts back as he walks to his next class. He hesitates on sending his next message, because he hates nothing more than double texting. “I’m on my way to my biochemistry of medicine class. Take care on your way to work.”

Admittedly, you have no idea what the biochemistry of medicine is or what it consists of, and Riddle knows that, but he holds onto the sliver of hope that you’ll ask him about it when he comes home later.

(You do ask him about it later and tease him when he starts nerding out. He doesn’t mind).

3.

Neither of your schedules really match on weekdays with you being gone at work for the day and Riddle at school; he’s sometimes gone first thing in the morning and sometimes back when you’re almost ready to go to bed depending on the day. Even on weekends when you have the luxury of a break, Riddle’s off on his 12-hour shift in the ER from 7 AM to 7 PM. Much to Riddle’s dismay, he thinks he might see you even less than he did before moving in with you.

One thing, however, is guaranteed—or at least becomes guaranteed—when he comes back home Saturday night at 8:30 PM, and you’re sitting at the dining table.

(It’s not actually a dining table but a round desk made for children that you managed to fish from IKEA, because the entire apartment layout is Not Very Big).

He glances, basically stares, first at the warm smile you greet him with and then at the two plates of food with plastic wrap covering them. He raises an eyebrow in question, especially when he notices that the plates are still warm.

“I thought you said you were going out with your friends today,” he comments, not really registering what was going on. He always made sure to memorize your schedule and is worried that he’s slipped up for the first time. “Why are you here?”

“I’m your roommate?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he retorts, and you laugh. “I meant why aren’t you out right now, and why haven’t you eaten?”

“Well, I got tired of being out for the entire day so I came back,” you explain very matter-of-factly, “and then I noticed that some of the things in the fridge were going to go bad, so I made dinner.”

“But why haven’t you eaten yet?” Riddle repeats, scrambling around the apartment to put his bags and jacket away. This is something new he’s learned how to do, talking to you without necessarily being in the same room. The first few times, he does it by accident and apologizes immediately, but with the understanding that he’s tired and busy, you reassure him that it’s no big deal at all and that the apartment is small enough for you to hear him loud and clear anyways.

“I was waiting for you,” you respond. He pauses. “Duh.”

Riddle doesn’t know what to say after except a soft, “Oh,” that escapes his lips and makes his way toward the table, carefully pulling the chair out so that it doesn’t scratch against the floorboards. He watches you, unsure, and copies you when you start removing the plastic wrap off your plate. You take a bite. He follows. You take a sip of your water. So does he.

Truth to be told, he can’t remember anybody waiting for him. Sure, he’s made plans to eat with people before, you included, which would mean that he and another party would meet at the same time and agree to eat at said time.

This is new unplanned and uncharted territory. He always figures that with a temper like his that flared up at any possibility of being late, anybody who knows him would hold him up to that same standard. He never expects anyone to weave him into their time, especially when he hasn’t always been the most flexible.

This combined with the fact that not even his own mother would wait for him makes this experience feel utterly foreign. He can only recall her always eating dinner at 6:00 PM. If he was stuck doing his workbooks because he couldn’t complete them quickly enough, then that was his fault. More than often than not, young Riddle would walk out of his room at 6:30 PM, peering into the empty dining hall and then climbing onto the seat only to be met with a cold, unwrapped bowl of bland soup. He’d sip on it as slowly as possible to delay being reprimanded.

“I’ll…wash up,” he says finally, eying at your nearly empty plate. “It’s the least I could do since you went through all this trouble.”

You shake your head. “I told you, Riddle. I just wanted to get rid of some ingredients before they went bad. Plus, we get to spend some time together. Two birds with one stone, really.”

It’s almost ironic how lonely he realizes he was when living with his mother even though he spent nearly every second of his adolescence under her watchful eye. Compared with how just ten minutes sitting across from you makes him feel, the contrast is almost laughable.

“Thank you.” He wonders if he’s able to convey exactly how grateful he is. Expressing himself was never his strong suit. “I mean it.”

“Yeah?” You place your utensils on your now empty plate and think for a bit. “We should do the dishes together. It’ll be done faster that way.”

Even though Riddle wants to tell you that it’s his duty to repay your kindness, he finds himself indulging in it today. In fact, like his childhood self, he finds himself eating slower than usual tonight to bask in your presence, waiting for him. He feels special, because even though you have all the rights in the world to just leave him there and continue your day off, you stay. It makes him feel like he’s worth something.

The following day after he gets off his shift, he texts you that he’s bringing home desserts from a bakery on his way back. You text him that you’ll be waiting for him, and he thinks that this is something he could get used to.

4.

It’s admittedly very strange to say, but Riddle develops a love for Post-It notes. They’re not for himself to keep track of tasks, as he already has his own trusty pocket book to jot down things he needs to keep in mind, but he finds them rather endearing when you start leaving them all over his door.

He swears he’s trying to see you as often as possible, but with final exams looming over him, he spends all of his free time in his room, studying for hours on end and with minimal breaks. He appreciates you for being so considerate and understanding of his circumstances, entering the apartment as quietly as possible and making little noise in the kitchen. He knows you like leaving the TV on from time to time just to have some white noise, but he hasn’t heard it for a while and figures he owes you a lot after he’s done with his work.

One morning about three days from his first final, he leaves his room for a bit to get water from the kitchen and finds a little neon orange note stuck to his door. Blinking his dry, tired eyes, he leans in to read it.

“This is the last stretch! Good luck with studying! There’re some leftovers from the take-out I brought home yesterday, so help yourself!”

And like everything you do, it makes his heart flutter. He wonders if this is something he should respond to formally, like a letter from an acquaintance, but he’s not even sure if he can consider this a letter. He walks back into his room briefly, rustling around his drawer for a small pack of sticky notes he received for free at school fair and scribbles his response.

“Good morning,

I hope this note finds you well and in good health. Thank you very much for the leftovers. Once I’m done with my exams, I’ll take the proper measures to make this up to you.

Best regards,

Riddle Rosehearts”

It’s still early in the morning, earlier than when you usually needed to wake up to barely make it to work on time, so he very gently places his note on your door and continues on with his day. Between quick sips of water or tea and sticking his head out an open window to take in fresh air, Riddle studies and studies until the sun is down. He decides finally that he needs to stretch his legs and opens the door of his room to pace around the shared area. Another sticky note.

“LOL.”

His eyebrows raise, scrutinizing the small piece of paper and flipping it over just to make sure he isn’t missing any other writing. What was so funny?

“Good evening,

I’m glad you’re finding something amusing. I would find a little context very helpful in this scenario. Feel free to let me know when you have the time.

Sleep well,

Riddle Rosehearts”

There’s a lot more he wants to write like how much he wants to eat with you again or asking you if your work is going well, but he realizes that he has neither the time nor the space to fit the essay he has drafted in his mind for you. He settles for this instead, sticks it onto you room door, and goes back to study when he finishes circling the kitchen ten times. He’s not having the most fantastic time right now, but he’s eager to find another note from you when you wake up tomorrow morning.

5.

Riddle takes a break day, not because he realizes that finals week had run him through the wringer, but because you all force him to take a day off from his shift at the ER by taking a day off yourself. He feels a little guilty for having you throw away your plans for the day, especially when he doesn’t have a single clue on what he wants to do. He’d prefer not to leave the apartment, being worn out from running on four hours of sleep each night for the past week. Frankly, it seems like a waste for you now to be watching him solve crossword puzzles in complete silence.

He’s not ashamed about his hobbies, but he does acknowledge that not many people particularly enjoy watching others write in boxes for hours on end without doing anything else. You tell him you’re just making sure that he’s resting properly, and he understands your concerns, but did you really need to be so close to him? He’s not a child that needs to be surveilled, and he certainly is having just some problems concentrating knowing that if he moves toward you any closer, he’ll feel your breath down his neck.

And then, you choose to rest your chin on his shoulder, still watching him as he ponders on five-lettered synonyms for ‘fictional book.’. He startles from the slight slouch he’s fallen into during his earlier concentration, but you don’t say a word. Riddle thinks you’re teasing him, but something about how your warmth radiates against him settles his rapidly beating heart. It’s entirely different from the brief shoulder-to-shoulder bumping or the electric that rushes through his body whenever his hand brushed against yours while handing you a box of tarts. All of those had been quick, fleeting moments he considered accidents. This was absolutely deliberate.

“Are you…tired?” he tries, wondering if this was perhaps your way of telling him to choose a different activity to do. “You can always go about your own day and do as you like-.”

“I’m just comfy like this,” you murmur, voice tinged with sleep. It tickles his ear, but he tries his best not to yelp. “Should I move?”

“N-no,” he stammers, shy. “If you’re sleepy you could…”

Riddle pauses. The sane, sensible answer he could provide is to tell you to go to bed and take a nap, to tell you not to worry about him because he knows how to take care of himself and is a proper adult. For some reason, though, the thought of losing your weight against him makes him feel a little empty. He can’t really comprehend it, but he knows that the moment he tells you move from him, he’ll be left feeling lonely, and he doesn’t want that.

“If you’re sleepy, I’ll just move,” he starts, changing positions so that he’s no longer facing the arm of the couch and instead properly resting against it, “and you can lean on my shoulder like this.”

You only hum in content, also readjusting yourself, and Riddle cycles through exactly three stages of emotions.

The first stage is obvious nervousness, but the good kind where his stomach does flip flops and everything feels fuzzy. You’re so close, and he can’t help it, becoming finely attuned to your breathing, the smell of your shampoo (which, much to his delight, is his shampoo, too), and the way your eyes struggle to stay open.

The second stage settles down the first. It’s the wave of relief that floods through him once he realizes you’re comfortable enough to fall asleep on him. He feels strong and reliable, but more importantly, he finds satisfaction that he’s able to help you rest. He tries his best not to wake you up, dutifully staying still as a log.

The third stage is more of a cumulative realization of all his concerns since he moved in with you. It’s his embarrassment at the fact that he’s still been so nervous around you, making a big deal out of his inadequacies even though he knows you consider him enough. He doesn’t know why it takes so long for him to realize that even through all his concerns, he falls easily into your affection every single time and that you have never once pushed him away.

Loving you and being loved by you has always been the easiest thing in this world, and he almost laughs at himself for taking this long to understand.

+1.

Riddle rearranges his work schedule during his break so that his weekends align with yours. He figures that there isn’t any point in being home on the days you’re at work, so for the rest of his summer, he has the best weeks of his life.

It’s 9 AM on a Sunday morning, and Riddle groggily wakes up in his room. Normally, he’s up at the crack of dawn, but he wakes up late today—or at least what he considers late—for two reasons. The first is that he stayed up late with you in your arms the night before while marathoning bad reality TV. Personally, it’s not quite his cup of tea, but he’s more or less watching you laugh the entire time rather than actually focusing on the show anyways. The second reason is that he knows that there’s no way you’re able to sleep past 9 AM today, because like clockwork, the garbage truck rolls by for the weekly trash disposal, waking up the entire apartment complex.

He listens from his room to the creaking of your bedroom door and the shuffling of your feet against the wooden floor before getting out of bed himself. Peering into the shared area, he sees your back turned away from him at the kitchen counter where you start to get breakfast ready. There’s never been a rule on who should cook breakfast or not, but Riddle’s a disaster of a cook and would much rather do the dishes in exchange for food that’s seasoned and unburnt.

“G’morning,” you murmur when you feel his arms wrap around your waist and his head against your back. “I hate that truck. They could’ve picked any other day when people aren’t sleeping in.”

“We could just nap together later,” Riddle proposes, slightly flustered, but with the both of you completely free all day, he can’t think of anything better to do. “That is, if you’re still tired, of course.”

“You’re becoming a lot bolder as of late.” Your chuckle resonates through him, and he remains silent for a moment. His eyes follow your hands as they insert bread into the toaster and reach for the cabinet above to grab strawberry jam. When the toast is ready, it’s his signal to start preparing the tea.

“Perhaps,” he muses, letting go of your waist after one small squeeze. Although, he’s not sure if he’s getting bolder or if he’s getting more comfortable. Or maybe it just feels right to be more honest with you now. “Sugar and milk?”

“Yes, please,” you respond, not really knowing why he asks when he knows how you like your tea by heart. You suppose he just always needs some type of affirmation, so with a grin, you smile and say, “Riddle? Love you.”

Without missing a beat, cheeks tinted with the slightest of pink, Riddle responds with a nod.

“Thank you. I adore you as well.”

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst wonderland #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #twst imagines #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle x reader #5+1 times #and they were roommates #twst x reader

[cat-astro-pick]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟐

𝑀𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝐸𝑧𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟎

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟏

It's been about a month since Heartsteel debuted. Nothing had changed. Ezreal called me up without even a hint of trying to care what the fans thought.

I was sitting in my studio, mindlessly taking notes on the score. The clicks of mouse and keyboard and the spinning of my laptop fan filled the room. I wondered how much my new piece would sell for. It was pretty pathetic that something I used to love to do was now just a way to make money.

I thought of a mouse. I remembered a mouse named Geronimo Stilton. With his long snout, sniffing cheese, loving what was around him, and speaking out when he saw injustice. As a child, I emulated him a lot. As the flavor of a clumsy cream cheese cake lingered on the corners of my mouth, I felt soap bubbles spinning around my head. The same mouse who rode in time machines and went on adventures to save fairy tale lands reminds me-

"There's a weird scale here."

"Huh?"

I said in my dumbest voice, with my dumbest expression, and my dumbest words. While I was making a fool of myself, she took the mouse and fixed the scale. I couldn't lie now and say it was intentional. I couldn't control my meltdown emotions. I've been thinking about the past a lot lately. The hand that popped the balloon was like popping my heart.

[Witnessing the debut of 'HEARTSTEEL', a group that will steal your heart at first sight].

[A close-up look at the lives of the HEARTSTEEL members!...]

[Exclusive! Ezreal's...]

.

.

.

I shoved my phone into my pocket. Shoulders ached. And my elbows, which had been crushed by the armrests for so long. My work had slowed down noticeably since everyone had left. I closed my laptop only after I'd made such a mess that efficiency was nowhere to be found. I slowly mulled over the title of the article I'd seen earlier. The more I thought about it, the funnier it became. I was proud of him, and then a nasty feeling of anxiety creeped up and wrapped around me.

I don't think Ezreal would abandon me. If he's the kind of person who would neglect a friend just because he's famous, then there's no reason for him to accept the selfish me that I was even before then, the one who broke promises, spoke harshly, fought with Kayn all the time, and hid in the corner of the room by myself. So I pushed harder. Even then, I was so stupid that I was testing Ezreal's feelings for me, experimenting to see if he'd get angry or not, even when I was wrong. Ezreal was the one who always passed my ridiculous and unfair tests. I, who was relieved to see him and then tested him with increased intensity, contributed nothing to his success. So I shouldn't be the one who is celebrated in Heartsteel's success.

But,

"...You idiot?"

"Why?"

"You're the one who should be celebrated."

"So what?”

“…Seriously?”

When I showed up at Ezreal's studio with the expensive bottle of wine I'd gladly bought, I was greeted by colorful confetti as soon as I opened the door. I was dumbfounded by the confetti covering my shoulders and head. I almost threw my wine bottle on the floor in surprise, but Ezreal didn't care. A pom-pom cone hat trimmed with shiny soft plastic was placed on my head. It was a tacky pink, the kind of color my mom might have put on when she was a young lady. Ezreal's hat was green. I didn't bother to joke that if Ezreal's hair had been a little more bushy and less cared for, it might have felt similar.

It was just the two of us, but it was refreshing in its own way. It was like having fun for the first time in a long time. Even when he was famous, Ezreal loved to spoon-feed the cake. It was fun to have a party with just the two of us, where we didn't have to be formal. In hindsight, I realize that it wasn't just the party that made me happy. There were other external factors beating on my heart. Well, I would call it a simple alcoholic deception.

When I opened the wine, the atmosphere was too quiet. I would have paid more for champagne if I'd known this would happen. The thought of Ezreal watching me open the wine with a spoon full of whipped cream in his mouth was overwhelming. If it was champagne, he'd be covering his ears and videotaping me from afar. Alas, fancy wine glasses don't exist in the workshop. Instead, we brought in two glasses and poured wine into them. It was wine, but we drank it like grape juice. The wine wasn't sweet, but that was okay as the cake was sweet. And there was something even sweeter in between. I'm not the type to get drunk, but I couldn't stop smiling that day. It was like someone was playing timpani and xylophones in my head. In fact, I don't remember much after that.

It was cold on the way home. As soon as I got home, I took off my stuffy walker, laid down on the floor, and laughed like a madman. It swung around and hit my shin, but I didn't even feel the pain. I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there, but my cheeks were hot, red and puffy from the cold wind.

I felt dizzy, precarious, like a piece of paper with a small margin. There were so many things I wanted to do. There were many things I wanted to say. There were many medications I was taking, and many doubts about the things that surrounded me. Walking back from the death wasn't exactly exhilarating. Cold sweat trickled down my muffler. The night view of the city was beautiful. I looked at the night view upside down, like a spider hanging from the ceiling, and saw the fall of the city. Maybe the fall would be mine. These were feelings that would be fine after a bout of tears. I felt like I was losing myself with each person I encountered. So I disliked Ezreal. Maybe I had a crush on him. Or maybe it was love. And so what?

I had done so many terrible things.

I tested him. I craved affection, and when I got it, I walked away. I came back when I ran out of love. I was no great being; I could not give him eternal life by sucking his blood. All I left him with was a terrible scar.

A day of emotion. Days when I can't get them out and they turn into a lump in my throat that burns and flows out of my eyes. On days like that, I had an awful habit of wanting to quit everything. I wanted to give up, but I didn't know what I wanted to give up, and I had no regrets. I just stupidly thought about the font of the name on my tombstone. He and I weren't meant to be. No, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. If God is a transcendent being with proper reason, he should make me miserable.

My pride wouldn't let me accept him. My horrible past wouldn't allow me to accept him. If I was going to spill my guts to Ezreal, it had to be after I'd changed. If not, it had to be when I wasn't me. Maybe I should go back a few years and strangle myself. Yeah. I didn't want to admit it. The moment I admitted it, I would have to deny my existence. Denying an emotion kept me whole, which is why I was afraid of emotions. To admit now that I'd been pouring out those sticky, unpleasant feelings to Ezreal would be like being naked in a clothing store display case. I'd held it in so far; it wasn't that I didn't want him to be famous. Stupidly, with a strange sense of possessiveness, I wanted him to be in my enclosure, but the world outside the egg told me that my illusions were false. Rather, it was I who was stuck inside his cage. The feeling of the world as I knew it expanding excluding me made me uneasy.

I should have kissed him when we were drunk. I'd ask him to forget the past. When this drunkenness was over, I would try to deny these feelings again. Solid feelings that haven't wavered in over a decade aren't going to show up for Ezreal overnight. At least not unless I change on the inside.

#ezreal #heartsteel ezreal #heartsteel x reader #heartsteel #lol #lol heartsteel #league of legends #league of legends x reader #lol x reader #ezreal x reader #lol fanfic #x reader #heart steel

[dy6nsty]

Maybe iii cheats on reader

══════════════════════ Alr, ty!!! ^^

III x Reader, Cheating(?)

══════════════════════

It had maybe days— or even a week since you’ve last tried to communicate with III. Avoiding him in every way you could and only acknowledging him when needed.

All of it started when he began to act odd after a tour. Than it became a natural occurrence to you. Whenever he came back from abroad or any tour he immediately pushed himself away from you.

Could it be that he was cheating? Were your overthinking all of this? You didn’t want to think, maybe if you waited it out he’d do it himself. Except both of you were doing the same thing: Ignoring each other.

You both were waiting for one to come crawling back and explain, atleast talk! But no word, not a single one. III had began to grow irritated with it.

The same cycle beginning to repeat. He’d just came back from a tour, you didn’t try or even budge to greet him. III ignored it. But that was a whole few days ago.

You walked right past him, he watched you walk by him. Nothing. Not a glance, not a word, nothing was exchanged between you until now.

“Y/n.” He called out to you. Walking towards you, which you turned around to face him. “Do you need something, III?” You asked in a tone of displeasure.

“I do,” He stated bluntly. “Look— why have you been avoiding me? Is there something that happened?” He asked.

You looked up at him, confused. Was he playing dumb? “There is. You push me away whenever you come through the door, you seem way more excited on your tours— do you ever look at me that way?” You drawn out your words, staring up at him with a look of desperation. You didn’t want anything from him, but just a spare of sympathy or empathy. Maybe even realization.

III stared at you with a slight glare, his eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed down to display it all. “I was stressed, that’s all.” He denied and shut it down.

“Stressed?” You repeated to him. Tension of anger and pent up feelings between the both of you growing. “I’ve been neglected by you for weeks! And you want to tell me it’s only stress?”

“I don’t want to do this with you.” He sighed, rubbing his temples to soothe his own emotion. “Do what? A relationship. I’ve been preparing myself for you to just tell me theres someone else or even multiple people. But you can’t talk with me for once?” You argued back with him, earning a look of disappointment from III. “What are you talking about Y/n!” Now you two were arguing.

“There are so many signs, III! We don’t talk, you seem bored with me, I feel discarded! You barley even remembering things I talk to you about!” You yelled back at him, listing things off one by one. “Why must you be so difficult?” He muttered under his breath in a gruff tone.

A frown immediately tightened over your face, there was nothing to sugar coat, and well— neither of you had been. “Numerous people told me we wouldn’t work out in the first place Y/N.” As soon as the words left his mouth he couldn’t find a better way to explain it to you. “And you believed them, didn’t you.”

III didn’t want to admit it, not to your face at least. But he couldn’t stand there and just look at you. He gave in, nodding his head slowly. “I wanted to give you a reason to hate me. I don’t hate you— it’s just.” The silence grew thick as his speech came go a pause. You stood there, waiting, you’ve been listening to him word for word.

“I did see someone. Over tour, you were right.” III sighed, staring down at the ground. He could feel your stare boring right into him.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything?” You asked him, tone bitter from your throat. “I listened to you, I gave you so much, I gave you plenty! And you— all this because you listened to what everyone else had to say about our relationship?” You muttered, a few cracks interrupting your words, how you spoke.

“Do you feel proud of yourself?” You muttered. “No. I don’t.” He mumbled back to you.

══════════════════════ I apologize if this turned out bad! I need to be up early in the morning and needed to complete this :)

#iii x reader #sleep token iii #iii sleep token #sleep token fanfiction #sleep token imagine

[iciatheguardess]

Hiiii it’s meeee elsie

conflicted Elsie

Look, you know as well as I do that I love TAOCC to freaking death

but like

I may have to partially step away from it after the current arcs are over.

these goofy goobers took over my life for the last three-ish months, and while I’ve had an amazing time, it’s…caused me to neglect other parts of my life, and restrict myself more than I should when it comes to how I am on this site. I’ve stated my intention to try and branch out multiple times but I never go through with it because I just…I have things to write here! I can’t! And yeah it’s fun but sometimes I get hurt even if people don’t mean to, like, I’ve gotten legitimately ill from this once or twice.

But I feel like even trying to step away a bit is somehow abandoning all of you or betraying your trusts. I want to stay friends with you guys, but my actual life and Irlsie has to come first most of the time, because I am not JUST Elsie, if that makes any sense. Elsewhere is and was always meant to be a sona for some interaction, maybe some friendos, but nothing this…involved, because I can’t put all of my social effort onto the internet because no matter what I do, the internet is not a completely genuine place, and I’ve accepted that. There are some parts of my personality I just don’t use. You don’t really ever see calm Elsie or mental illness Elsie or sappy Elsie, maybe once or twice, and that’s intentional. This is Writing Elsie’s blog, lol, but there’s other Elsie that needs to be allowed to exist outside of the internet, and I can’t neglect her or my actual life for the sake of this.

I honestly don’t know what to do here. I love these characters on a very personal level, and have poured my heart into them, and I don’t want to straight up leave them. Even only partially separating myself seems kinda pointless because I know what happens when someone gets really behind on the lore and has to be caught up on even just a day’s events to explain why Character A looks like this now or Character B is referencing this event, etc. etc.

But there’s a point where it’s not healthy anymore. Where things reach a place where I have to admit that this can’t be my entire life anymore. And I’m not entirely sure what on earth I should do about it…

If I do somewhat step back, it’ll probably be right after the vacation arc ends. i’m gonna pour my fluff loving heart and soul into that thing, don’t you worry. But you shouldn’t expect another dungeon or something like that from me unless I have a VERY good reason and a well formulated plan. Yes, I’ll probably still engage in shippery and fluff, as well as analysis, but mostly within the bounds of characters and dynamics we’ve already established, and not much farther than that. My one exception to the “after the vacation arc” rule would probably be Yelena’s arc, because of how long things in that section tend to take, for various reasons. Yelena’s arc is barely started, and stuff takes possibly days to move even a few hours in-universe. Sooooo….yeah, I wanna finish that, I’ve put too much work into it already to just stop it.

…dang this was only supposed to be a paragraph…

…pls halp, I have no idea what to do lol.

Ok. I've read over this a couple times.

First off, I'm talking to you as L here, and not Star. I am very, very proud of you for acknowledging this and understanding that this is getting unhealthy. I think it's very smart that you dont want to neglect your yourself irl and the fact you're saying this, and saying exactly what you'll be doing, I'm really proud of it.

To give you a clear answer, if it's going to help you irl then I think stepping back is smart. Especially from the trauma and angst, because that stuff hurts a LOT and it can be really, really detrimental and negatively affect irl things. What I DONT think is that it's betraying anyone. You need to be able to put yourself and your needs first in order to be your best self, and everyone understands that you can't be on tumblr 24/7 because, well, that's really really really really unhealthy and not good. I'm really glad you're telling me about this though so I, and everyone else who sees this, knows.

TAOCC is really great but there's a LOT of heavy things on here and with everything going on, it can be super weighing and really affect people irl. I can speak from experience because honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I won't speak much about that though. It's definitely addictive and can get really really unhealthy if you let it, and honestly it's not hard to let it.

I want you to do whatever you feel is best for you, no matter what that entails. Fei and Tails and Xeya and Kumo and so many others and I love you so much and do NOT want you neglecting yourself and your life irl for this- it's meant to be entertainment, not a lifestyle.

I think it's smart to finish Yelena's Arc before partially stepping back. And I think it's even smarter to not want to do another dungeon, because that whole thing was a massive angst-fest and I think it negatively affected people more than they care to admit. Shippery and fluff and minor things is a good boundary.

I'll wrap this up now, but again, I'm in full support of this decision because I want you to be at your best. You're right, you're not just Elsie. And it's not fair for you to only be Elsie when you're so much more than that. If stepping away from tumblr will help you take care of the other parts of your life that we aren't involved in or aware of, then please do so because no part of you and your life should be sacrificed for the sake of entertainment.

Again, I'm really, really proud of you for admitting this.

Please know we'll always support you and you're super important to all of us, so don't ever feel bad for putting your needs first. Irl things should always come first.

But no matter what always remember:

WE LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOURE SUPER IMPORTANT AND WE WANT THE BEST FOR YOUUU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Everything I said is applicable for everyone else reading this too. Taocc is fantastic and we love it but it shouldn't completely take over your life. It's okay to take a break or step back fully if it means the best for your health and irl life. Please remember to take care of yourselves- and everything that Elsie talked about here is FANTASTIC self care. It may be hard, but it's also the best decision she can make for herself and may be the best decision for others too.

Alright- I think I covered everything. Don't ever feel like you're betraying us Elsie- it's not betrayal, it's self care. We'll still be here for you, always. Never forget that ❤️❤️❤️

#iceanswers #modstar

[herofics]

Old habits die hard

I actually have another Gojo WIP I need to finish, but I’ve written myself into a corner with that one if that makes sense, so I just sort of decided to abandon that for now. This is basically me rambling about my current issues with selfharm urges, so if that triggers you, don’t read

The urge was pretty much always there, every day. Even though you had been clean for a long time now, the urge was still there. Every time something went wrong, the first solution your brain offered you was: “Hurt yourself”. Every fucking time.

You hadn’t done it, you didn’t want to, but the urge never seemed to really go away. It wasn’t like it was an active thing, but every time you encountered disappointment or hardships, which seemed to be all the time nowadays, there was a momentary thought of how harming yourself would resolve all your problems. You knew it wouldn’t but your brain kept falling into old patterns.

Fighting the constant urge was exhausting, it took so much energy everyday and you were getting tired of resisting. Sometimes you started to wonder if it was even worth it, but then, everytime he came home safe, every time you saw him light up when he saw you, it felt a bit easier to keep going. Your Satoru, your light in the darkness.

You were having a particularly bad evening, waiting for Gojo to get home while making dinner. The knife you were cutting vegetables with flashed in the light of the evening sun, and you had to stop to stare at it. It wasn’t particularly sharp, you hadn’t sharpened it in some time for exactly this reason. You didn’t want to make it easier for yourself to give in.

You weren’t sure how long you had stood by the counter when you heard the front door open. You were lucky you hadn’t put anything on the stove yet, since it would have surely burned while you stood there in a daze.

“I’m home!” Gojo greeted you excitedly as he closed the front door.

“Hey” you greeted as you heard his footsteps coming closer behind you.

Gojo placed his hands on your waist and leaned down to whisper in your ear: “And how is my beautiful partner doing today?”

“Honestly?” you sighed, turning to face him.

“Yeah of course” you could hear the worry in his voice already.

You looked up at him, noticing he was basically scanning you with his eyes. Looking for signs of what could be weighing on your mind. Gojo lifted you up so you were sitting on the counter with him in front of you.

Gojo had had a feeling something was going on for a while now, but he hadn’t been able to put it together. 

You didn’t blame him for not knowing what was going on with you. He was a busy man, constantly going on missions and having to be away from you and your home, and being a teacher too. You knew he cared, but how could he know what was wrong with you when you were hiding it from him?

“What’s wrong doll?” Gojo asked, looking at you intently.

“I’m not having a good day to be honest. It’s just… I really want to hurt myself again, and I’m having a hard time resisting that urge” you sighed, not being able to look him in the eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay” Gojo said gently, lifting your chin so you would look at him. “Talk to me about it, please?”

“Every time something goes wrong or I feel upset, my first thought is to hurt myself. I don’t know how to get rid of that thought pattern and it fucking sucks. The only thing that helps even a little bit is distracting myself by doing something else” you chuckled wryly.

“How can I help?”

“Just… I wish you were here more, so I could talk to you. I get that you’re busy, and I don’t mean that you should neglect your other duties because of me, or that this is in any way your fault, but I do miss you… a lot” you explained.

“Oh doll, I wish you’d told me sooner” Gojo shook his head with a sad smile, before pressing a kiss on your forehead. “But I’m glad you told me now”

“Yeah, me too”

“I can’t really promise I’m gonna be able to be around more, but I’ll try to make more time for us. I miss you too. I’m also gonna start calling you like five times a day to make sure you’re doing okay” Gojo smirked.

“And I’m gonna start to not pick up half your calls” you stuck your tongue out at him jokingly.

“Hey, that’s mean” Gojo frowned.

“Aaaw, I’m just teasing you, you big baby” you giggled and booped his nose with your finger. “But seriously, I appreciate it. Just promise me you won’t freak out if I don’t answer the first time. I might be at the school or on a mission, and I’m not able to answer my phone in the middle of a fight unlike you”

“Good point, good point. I’m gonna keep calling you until you pick up though, but not like spam calling. I wouldn’t do that…”

“Oh yeah, of course you wouldn’t” you rolled your eyes and draped your arms over his shoulders, looking into his crystal blue eyes.

Gojo moved as close to you as he possibly could while you sat on the counter. He leaned his forehead against yours and both of you closed your eyes, your arms still draped over his shoulders. You were just relaxing against one another finding comfort in each other’s arms.

“Hey Satoru?” you asked.

“Hhhmm?” he mumbled.

“Thank you for loving me, even when I’m a pain in the ass” you opened your eyes and leaned back a little.

“Of course, but could you promise me not to hide yourself when you're in pain? It's unfair that we laughed together but you cried alone. We’re supposed to share our hardships, remember?” he answered, placing his hand on your cheek.

You leaned your head against his hand and looked at him adoringly, making Gojo’s heart flutter. He worried for you every day, he couldn’t help it, he loved you after all.

You placed your hand over his and kissed his palm before nodding in agreement. He always took such good care of you.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen scenarios #jjk scenarios #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk angst #jjk comfort #jujutsu kaisen comfort #selfharm tw

[izzyspussy]

You said asks so NO PRESSURE but since you said S1 RoyJamie I now can’t stop trying to imagine it with a more realistic Roy and/or whatever other departures from the zeitgeist you would enact 👀 👀 👀 if you wanted to say anything more about that that would be exciting

Okay so, re: my tags about it being different than everyone else's that you eyeballed like. Maybe I'm just too aromantic for All This, but the biggest reason I usually don't love the season 1 royjamies that are already out there is because I feel like they warm up to each other emotionally and catch feelings and all that way too fast and imho without much actual romancing? Like, they have sex a few times and then they're like okay I was totally wrong you've never done anything wrong in your life. Which like honestly....... boring.

And my second biggest issue is usually more with Jamie's characterization than Roy's! (I mean I do always wish people wouldn't slough off a lot of Roy's anger and other various Problems and all, but that's consistent lmao). But like season 1 fics make Jamie such a woob and a sadsack and take away his agency quite a bit, like all his bad behavior is someone else's fault - and like, okay, to a degree, I GUESS, but like...... idk man him having a reason to act that way doesn't make it less of a choice that he made.

I also think there's way too much emphasis on him being protected and rescued, which like, listen. I love a good romantic rescue as much as the next guy, but it was also something I really loved in the show that Jamie got to defend himself. He got to decide to be fed up, he got to fight back. And!! He always had a belligerent do-your-worst attitude, which he maintained all the way up through season 3 to the end!! I love that about him and I find it lacking in general, but especially in season 1 fics when it should be most present, when Jamie has the most people and reason to be defensive.

Anyway, back to the first thing. I do think that having sex with each other would change their perspectives of each other significantly, but not necessarily toward romance or even friendship. Like, their Feelings develop totally independently of their physical relationship! Besides which, I feel like there's this really interesting stage in any enemies-to-whatever type of relationship, especially when it starts with a (literal) Bang, where they stop seeing each other as The Enemy and start seeing each other as a living, breathing, vulnerable human being who they happen to be enemies with. And I feel like in a lot of enemies-to-whatever things that stage is sorely neglected, and I think it would be an ESPECIALLY interesting - and vital - stage for royjamie.

So if (IF) I ever wrote one myself, it would still start with a literal Bang. They'd impulsively have sex. Not exactly hate sex, because neither of them can really hate someone they're having sex with - but that's the perspective shift isn't it. They can't hate each other anymore, but that doesn't mean they start to like each other or even really care that much about each other.

So anyway, they would sleep together, and they'd both be way different in bed than they thought the other would be. And they're a little bit mean, not quite in a fun sexy way, but not quite enough to be hurtful either. And then they'd do it again a few times, and they'd be vastly humanized to each other. But they'd still be just coworkers with workplace tension who are fucking and also sometimes Jamie stays for dinner just because they both get lonely and it's only polite for whoever lives in the place they're at to offer. They're slightly more than tolerating each other. They're empathizing with each other and being incredibly intimate - off the clock - and it's a bit weird but a bit not weird and they're just going with it because. well. what else are you gonna do.

And then I'd have them stop sleeping together when Jamie gets transferred, without ever moving into that What Are We stage nevermind any further along than that. And then they become friends, semi-long distance. Texting and stuff. Kind of like the fic Waterfalls, which idr but might be gen. But also I'd probably have it even more of a slow burn than that, at least wrt Roy learning about James. Just because like... another thing I feel like happens a lot is that people have Character A find out about James and then suddenly they like Jamie after that and all. And I don't really like that either, I liked that they had all bonded at least a little before That Whole Thing in canon as well, and I'd want to keep that. OR maybe even bump it up a bit, but have them not suddenly be buddies after it. It would be interesting to explore mixed feelings on that front, where maybe Roy feels protective of Jamie and angry on his behalf, but without having a fully formed (if reluctant, at that point in canon) personal relationship with him.

But anyway so. It wouldn't really be enemies-to-lovers. It would be enemies-to-not-quite-strangers-who-fuck-and-are-intimate (I know allos cannot handle this concept, at least when I bring it up as something I want irl lmfao, they just don't get it! but listen. it happens, it can happen, and it can be pretty good too!), then half-hearted-enemies-again-to-friends, and then friends-to-lovers.

And WHO can say what I'd do or not do with Keeley. But I also hate when she gets just completely written out of the dynamic because I feel like that doesn't make a whole lot of sense and also is a bit boring. Even if it's not an OT3 endgame, I still feel like she should be all kinds of up in their business.

#jack chats #jack facts #ted lasso #royjamie #hc #writing process #<- probably not really but.

[gecemi09]

Regarding Batman and Responsibility: A Rant

So, whenever there is talk about the age old question of "Should Batman kill Joker?" there is always, and I mean always someone who says something along the lines of: "But it's not Batman's responsibility to kill Joker so it's wrong to put the burden onto him." and on the surface this seems like a reasonable argument. After all, there is a police department in gotham, there is a government, so shouldn't we hold them accountable as well? Well, not exactly.

(Warning: I probably mispelled responsibility and responsible a LOT in this post, please don't begrudge me for it.)

Of course, those institutions ARE responsible for the Joker to some degree but the real question, to me, is: why is Batman considered as "NOT responsible" when he very much is.

People who make this argument usually say: "Well Batman is a volunteer, a vigilante! This is practically none of his bussiness." And true, Bruce isn't required to be a vigilante, he does it entirely out of his own volition. But is that not the whole reason why he IS responsible? I mean, Bruce is the one who CHOSE to take up that responsibilty, he is the one who CHOSES to shoulder that burden. In that sense he isn't that different from a government official/cop/etc. those people do it of their on will too don't they? Bruce, day after day, year after year, choses to fight for Gotham, to protect it and its people; he takes those responsibilities onto himself and yet... stopping Joker somehow, isn't one of them?

In my opinion, it is hypocritical. Bruce is the one who says things like "Gotham is MY city" or "I don't allow metas in Gotham, you need MY permission." or "You can't operate as a vigilante in Gotham without my say-so."(Stephanie Brown, anyone?) he routinely describes his vigilantism as a "war on crime"(which, yikes) and calls it a "crusade" and says it is his "mission" no? He chooses to do these things all on his own, no one forces him to. At a certain point, it's a matter of integrity. He can't pick and choose what exactly constitutes to protecting Gotham and what doesn't. He can't decide that beating up muggers in the streets is extremely important and is his job while improving Arkham isn't. He can't decide that, despite putting Joker in Arkham over and over again knowing he's going to escape, he isn't at least partly responsible for Joker's future victims. He can't keep stopping people from killing Joker(Under the Red Hood, hello!), saving Joker from the death row, putting Joker into a Lazarus Pit, or saving him from natural disasters(because you KNOW he would) and then claim "Oh, but killing Joker isn't my responsibility." He can't willingly claim responsibility for Gotham in every other scenario, EXCEPT for that. That's just having your cake and trying to eat it too. Unless he decided that by saving Joker he is not actually harming Gotham, by allowing Joker to live he is actively NEGLECTING his mission, his duty. And anyway, I thought the whole point of superhero comics was that people with power to better things shoud use those powers to do exactly that. Batman DOES have the power to "better" Gotham, he just isn't using it.

"Killing Joker isn't Batman's responsibility." No, it is. Because protecting Gotham and its people IS his responsibility, as he took it onto himself. If he didn't want to deal with the consequences of such a thing then he shouldn't have become a vigilante in the first place.

Mind you, this doesn't mean he's the ONLY one responsible, far from it, just that he is.

(I genuinely don't remember whether I made a post on this before but I have ranted about this to myself outloud when alone multiple times and if I have to think about this so do you)

[And YES we all know the real reason is because Joker is DC's cashcow, that is not the point of this post...]

#am i the only one who thinks this way?? mutuals pls sned help #like seeing this argument annoys me soo much #apparently bruce has authority on who can do heroing in gotham but killing joker isn't his responsibility?? #this is also @ the people who say fixing arkham isn't bruces responsibiltiy btw #yes it is??? #he is the one beating ppl up and sending them there #his whole thing is “i want to make gotham into a better place” #so yes it is his responsibility #i guess this might be a subjective thing? like depending on how much someone cares about personal integrity lol #personally if you willingly took on a responsibility then there is no excuse for slacking off(for lack of a better term) #anti bruce wayne #anti batman #batman critical #went hard in this one lol #i just hate this argument #its fine if it goes againts bruces moral code thats fine #but dont start the responsibility discusison w me lol #screaming to the void #also slitting jasons throat is his responsibility but killing joker isnt?? be fucking fr dude

[strawberryjamsara]

Persona 3 reload: a retrospective

A while back, I watched a let’s play of persona 3. And I hated it. I found it juvenile, nihilistic, extremely gross, and I felt like the members of sees were hardly friends, so their bonds hardly meant anything.

But, Persona 5 is a game I love, and also a long game that I’ve played multiple times, so I wasn’t sure if I was ready to play it again. And I had scrounged up enough for the new game, with me reasoning to myself that I’d have a better experience playing myself

And I was right. Everything I didn’t see in the game before came out at me in this playthrough so much I wondered if the original was ever really as bad as I thought.

So I just wanna recount a lot of the experience here. Beware of spoilers.

story and themes.

In my first watch, Persona 3’s story sort of felt like what I’d come up with at 14. Constant talks about how death is inevitable, nothing matters, and a line at the end saying our dead protagonist “found the answer” by dying which honestly made my jaw drop when seeing it. Not a good thing for someone with constant suicidal thoughts to hear, and the line struck me as tasteless, gross, and neglectful of the audience mental health.

That line is still there, and I still despise it, but this time around, I better understood the message the entire game wants to convey, that being: “Yes death is inevitable, yes nothing in life matters: which is why it’s important to live each day to the fullest and make your time matter.” This is shown by the fictional condition “apathy syndrome” a syndrome that literally makes you stand in place doing nothing forever, essentially a giving up on life that is what the villains hope to inflict on the world. The fall isn’t just an instant death. It’s plunging every human on earth into this state of apathy, and through this, they will all die while not even doing anything about this, and THATS what makes Nyx terrifying. And understanding this, it greatly raised my appreciation. The game also comes with a label warning for heavy themes and advising players to take a break if it gets too hard, which I appreciate.

There’s also a pretty good conflict with the heroes that being: the want for the world to constantly be in peril so they have something to do with their lives. This was sort of in Persona 5 with the thieves (Or really just Ryuji) soaking in popularity, but Persona 3 is a much better utilized version of this. All these people hated their lives before they became humanities saviors, and the idea of losing that purpose in life is scary to them. It’s only through their bonds with eachother they come to realize what they’re actually living for, and makes the villains Strega perfect foils, because their bonds with eachother aren’t enough. Jin obviously would give the world for Takaya, but they so easily threw Chidori away for bonding with the ones who took away their purpose. Takaya is pushed forward by pure nihilism and the ability to do whatever the hell he wants, and so he neglects the people around him. Jin dies in his final fight with you to protect Takaya’s dreams, and Takaya in his last moments wishes Jin could see the end but he didn’t. Takaya put his power trip over the only person he had left, so he was alone at the end.

I will say though, that while Strega are good villains, I don’t really like the games wishy washy handling of the Kirijo group. I’ll talk more about Mitsuru and her bond with her father when I get to characters (it’s nowhere near as bad as Haru though) but while the actions of the company are truly horrific, it sort of looks away from what it means for Mitsuru to inherit a company that caused this entire disaster then profited off of it, which like, yes I hate capitalism, but it’s also a very fascinating thread of idea that gets dropped. Also, yes, making the villains the group of orphans who were experimented on by the Kirijo group and have nothing from the heiress except a line about how she had ‘no idea’ and having the main characters work with the police, and the police being seen as a role model, and working with a coorporation is. A choice. And a huge downgrade from P5. Back to Mitsuru and the Kirijo’s though, this sort of thing could easily have been explored in her social link.

Speaking of which….

Social links and linked episodes

So when I watched that let’s play, the worst part for me was the social links. They were where a lot of personas signature brand really gross content came from, and the characters were utterly uninteresting to me. So were they bad as I remembered?

Yes and no.

One big thing I’m glad they’ve changed is that in the original game, whenever you maxed your bond with a female character you’d enter a relationship no matter what. So if you wanted to max your bond with multiple girls, then guess what! You’re cheating on your girlfriend. This lead to moments where I cringe in sympathy because Mitsuru is ranting to her fiancé about how much better and kinder the protagonist is and knowing this boy is leading on seven different girls.

Also some of the bonds were better than I gave them credit for! I loved coaching the group of kids with Yuko, being with Hayase in rough times, and helping Kamiki come to terms with his death.

Some were just as bad as I remembered though.

The hermit social link is extremely uncomfortable, having to listen to a woman who is obviously your teacher gleefully talk about her plans to get you alone to date you and the game treating this as funny and not horrific. Or Kenji talking about dating his teacher. Or a girl whose so nervous around boys so you can fix her and she becomes confident enough to protest a sign at school condemning relationships between students and teachers- what is with this game and student teacher relationships?

There’s also the problem of the best options in some of these links involve being an enabler. Yes little girl, run away from home, and only bring your insurance card, this is a great idea. If you don’t wanna take the optimal route and say that, you can tell her she deserved her parents hitting her. Yeah, in the original let’s play, I had NEVER hated a main character more than this guy and he was literally a silent protagonist.

I still really hate these moments. I could get attached to the main character (probably because I was playing as him, and there was more time in between… this. And also he wasn’t a cheater) but I still felt so ick picking what I knew was the best option.

So what about the parties links?

I think they’re a mixed bag. Yukari and Aigis have incredibly good social links about themselves and their lives, but Mitsuru’s is clearly just written with romance first, introducing a fiancé who is never mentioned anywhere else in the game for the protagonist to be better than, and Fuuka took a potentially interesting character and made her character arc about what a good cook she is. Thanks Atlus, feminist as always.

But what about the boys? Hahaha… sickos… YEEEES.

The boys in the original game did not have social links. This contributed to my original feeling like SEES weren’t friends, and my dislike towards the protagonist that you couldn’t hang out with any of your roommates who weren’t romance options to cheat on, but reload fixes this. Well, sorta.

Instead of social links, you have ‘linked episodes’ with the boys where you spend a day together and get stat upgrades, and I LOVED this. Often during these episodes the rest of sees would come together and hang, and even if they didn’t, the character insight offered felt worthwhile and like they had bonded. This and study sessions with the group, seeing Yukari Junpei and the protagonist spending time as a group chatting after school, and nightly activities where you could chill with your dormates after dark contributed so much to making these bonds feel more real, and making me believe they’re friends. Even if it’s just the protagonist hanging out with Akihiko on his own, you still get bits of him talking about Shinji and Mitsuru that make it feel alive. I LOVE how sometimes if you go to Tartarus one person won’t be able to make it because they’re out, or they’re studying, or they’re just not feeling it. It makes you feel like you need to take everyone’s schedules to heart. I’m aware that last feature is in the original, but it feels a lot more meaningful to play it for myself.

I’m getting off topic. Time to talk about

The characters

A lot of the characters in P3 I did not like on my first go. With the exception of Yukari and Junpei. And I’m glad to say I’ve come around to all of them this time around. So to go one by one:

Junpei Iori

Junpei at first seems like your typical first persona party member. He’s not very bright, he’s sexist in the way a lot of teenage boys are, and he’s seemingly just there for comic relief.

Then the game flips the script. You realize Junpei is insecure of you. You realize that his girlbestie who teases him all the time, may actually be getting under his skin. You realize that he’s so deeply and utterly sad, and finding out that the entire world would crumble without him is the best thing that happened in his life.

And then he meets the first love of his life.

Chidori and Junpeis romance is so well written, and makes me wish the games would make more romances for your party members instead of the obnoxious romance system that exists where the developers think if the player can’t date any woman that moves they’ll keel over dead.

Junpei finds with Chidori the first girl he doesn’t just think of as someone to hit on for the man points. He finds a genuine crush, someone he cares about the safety and well being of, and a reason to keep going and saving the world because Chidori is in it. And Chidori finds much of the same in him. Watching Junpei turn from a womanizing creep into the sweet guy who waits at Chidoris hospital bed every day was something that even in my first watch had me gnashing my teeth about how Yosuke and Ryuji didn’t touch this level. So yeah. Junpei is great and so is his character arc.

Yukari Takeba

Yukari was the other character I was attached to first run. Mostly because the lets player kept talking about how much he hated her and nothing makes me love a female character more than male audiences treating her like shit, but I was also just attached to her relationship with Junpei. They were the only characters that to me felt like genuine friends, and you could see by the way they’d jab at eachother back and forth.

And I was glad for her headstrong nature. She was the one questioning what was really going on, and she could be mean, and angry, and unpleasant. She could kinda suck, and I appreciated her for that. The scene in my first time where she tries to cheer up Junpei by teasing him and it backfires miserably lived in my head rent free for a while.

And while my opinions of Junpei being a good character pretty much stayed the same this time, my love for Yukari skyrocketed. I realized how endlessly loving she is, and yet how emotionally stunted her beginnings made her, with her dads death, her moms distance, and her friends leaving her behind. I loved when I realized ‘Oh. It’s not just that one time. Junpeis been bothered by her teasing since the beginning, but it’s her expression of love because she’s afraid of vulnerability.’ I loved how she connected with the protagonist, she found someone in a similar situation, but she could still be an asshole to him sometimes because she’s messy and complicated (and side note: I think I ship shuyuka now.)

So yeah. Yukari is a ten out of ten character.

Akihiko Sanada

I thought this guy had no personality the first time around. What was I thinking? Oh boy, I love this dork.

Akihiko going on about bolstering his muscles but can’t bolster his social skills enough for a normal conversation (Mr Autism my good friend) is already endearing to me, but what really comes in clutch is his relationships to Mitsuru and Shinji.

Aki is the only person in the group who doesn’t really see Mitsuru as an authority figure, disobeying her orders from the very start to not push himself, and pushing her buttons a little, a far cry from how she’s essentially the leader (yes I know the protagonist is the textual leader but let’s be real. Mitsuru is the leader.) and they’re a bond I feel like I neglected my first time around.

But let’s talk Shinji.

Akihiko and Shinji are a tragedy and despite knowing how it ended every step of the way this time, I couldn’t help getting attached. Aki losing the only friend he had as an orphan was not all at once but a slow burn. It’s easy to see coming, and yet Akihiko is Sisyphus pushing that boulder up the hill, hoping this time, things can go back to normal with every time he tries to talk him into joining, not realizing the boulder is already falling to the man’s death and Shinji knows it.

I think his final awakening and development happened to fast after that though. Like at least give the man more than a day of his best friend being dead before you make him have his big revelation.

Okay that’s pretty much all my thoughts but one last thing: I didn’t realize how hilariously gay coded he is my first time. He has crowds of adoring girls around him but doesn’t talk to any of them and instead goes to hang with the guys. He’s best friends with Mitsuru and romance isn’t hinted at once. Why are you as a man so obsessed with Shinji, hm?

Fuuka Yamagishi

I think Fuuka has an incredibly strong entrance into the game.

Her status as a navigator is like any person playing their first persona game and gets the navigator, pretty weak at first. Until you realize how powerful she really is. And I think that’s a good metaphor for her character. Turning her bully into her best friend shows her kindness, but also her strength at how she got Natsuki to respect her, not through brute strength but just by being good to her and saving her, and began to spend time with her because of this respect.

Unfortunately, Fuuka is pretty stagnant through most of the story.

I’m glad for some things like her bond with Yukari, and how she finds out the truth behind the Kirijo’s, but it seems like most of this is frontloaded while she takes a backseat to other plotlines, and most of her lines just seem to be her using her persona.

She does get one last incredible scene though in her evolution. When Natsuki leaves and gives Fuuka encouragement, I honestly did feel tears in my eyes for this friendship and the growth Fuuka had knowing she had people who loved her, in both Natsuki and SEES. I speak as someone who usually HATES the bully and victim become friends trope when I say they were a highlight.

So Fuuka isn’t my favorite but she’s a worthy character. I would fix some stuff, but I care her.

Mitsuru Kirijo

This is another character I found bland and uninteresting my first time. I can’t believe how dumb I was.

Okay, so there’s problems with Mitsurus character. I’ve mentioned most of them. Her social link, her becoming the heiress to the evil coorporation, etc etc. but oh goodness is she interesting.

This girl subjected herself to some implied horrific shit for the sake of correcting her families injustices. Because she didn’t want her father to live with the guilt. So she became isolated, depressed, and a bit of a ‘no fun allowed’ type. It could be argued that in the beginning she wants to rid the world of the dark hour the most.

But she’s also just a kid who shouldn’t have to subject herself to that. Her happiest moments aren’t when she’s talking to the father she wants to appease but with her found family in SEES.

As for Mitsurus dad- okay it’s not a Haru’s dad situation. I CAN see some of why Mitsuru cares about him. He’s the ‘stoic but kind’ archetype. The ‘beforetimes’ referred to are before the near end of the world was caused by this man’s father and left him feeling awful, and Mitsuru herself wanted to change that. But I still think the game glorifies him a little bit. Like hey, Strega said they were gathered by Kirijo group to learn persona summoning, and I’m pretty sure Mitsurus grandpa died in that explosion, so who was in charge of those child experiments that killed orphans? You wanna answer that game?

But okay, at the very least, I can see why Mitsuru would care for her father. He’s not as cartoonishly awful as Okumura is, he is an actual human being. And the game keeps its focus on this arc on Mitsuru where it belongs. And her big awakening is, while it’s still not great about acknowledging her dads shit, where it should be. On her realizing she has her friends.

So yes, Mitsuru isn’t as tightly written as Junpei and Yukari, but she’s still a good character.

Aigis

While most characters my first time around felt boring, Aigis felt fetishistic.

Like yes, this robot girls first action is to bury her face in the players bare chest. She watches you while you sleep. This is a running theme. Not only that, but I did not buy her transition into caring about SEES and becoming more human for reasons stated before. SEES don’t feel like friends, yadda yadda yadda.

This time around though, I saw a lot differently. Having the main character slowly bond with her as a friend outside her directive made her feel so much more like a character and not a writers fantasy. I liked little things like how she got excited over ladybugs and that made me appreciate other things like how she goes ‘maaan’ to repeat Junpei or how she gets into an argument with Koromaru. And this made her character development and realization of life’s beauty so much more impactful.

A robot who comes to understand life is a very typical trope, one that I love dearly. My first time didn’t really capture any of the magic for me, but this time around I really love Aigis.

Koromaru

Well, Koromaru is a simple character. He’s literally a dog. He does dog things. He’s implied to be smarter than the average dog. He has a backstory. But sometimes that’s all you need. He is a puppy. A creature. He’s your best friend. He’s loyal and he guarded the place of his last owner. I love you puppy.

Ken Amada

Okay, so first time, I thought Ken had the pieces of an arc that were decent but everything happened so fast. He was introduced, then the next time he did something significant it was saying his backstory and then attempted murder.

I think reloads linked episodes fixed this for me because god I wanna hug this kid. The way they imply his suicidal idealation, and how everyone in SEES sees him as a little brother, give him a family, but he just keeps ruminating on the single worst day of his life so bad he makes another. This kid has such good character development.

Shinjiro Aragaki

God I love Shinji. I love the ‘tough guy secretly loves dogs’ tropes. I love how he knows he’s doomed but still uses his last moments to try and make sure Ken doesn’t end up like him. I love how he cares about Akihiko but doesn’t want to move past his trauma. I love how he’s stuck in place as he is, refusing to let things go but is still fundamentally kind. I love Shinji.

Shuji Ikutsuki

Despite the fact I knew his betrayal was coming this time, I didn’t wanna believe Ikutsuki was a bad guy.

I loved his bad puns, his notebook full of them, how he suggested making the garden, how he just came to hang out in the living room sometimes to be supportive. I love you can catch him on camera making his bad jokes and laughing like a hyena to know that even if he was a shitty dude in the end, he genuinely loved those jokes. After everything he put you through, he was genuine when he told you his bad jokes. Which to me, is far more interesting than anything anyone has ever gleaned from Adachi.

Ryoji Mochizuki

Ryoji is honestly a very good character and I’m shocked. I’ve seen people compare him to Akechi for ‘friends who turn into antagonists’ but as much as I love Akechi, I don’t think Ryoji is anything like him.

But boy do I love him.

While the idea of a nice grim reaper has been done a million times, a kind hand guiding you towards the afterlife, (mind you I love that trope) Ryoji is the first time I’ve seen a bringer of death who hates being one. He loves life, and his friends, and the idea of it ending is scary, but inevitable and he wants to offer a choice, and it honestly feels so gut wrenching when you spend all this time waiting for him to betray you, when you realize he’s just a sweet kid who didn’t ask for this. And honestly, I think I liked him my first time around for that reason. Ryomina is a different story, but I came around to that too this time, and I don’t want this to be bogged down with thoughts on shipping.

Chidori

I pretty much got all my thoughts about Jin and Takaya down in the story section so I’ll skip right to Chidori. And I love her.

Chidori in the beginning feels like just another member of Strega. But when she gets taken to the hospital by SEES partway through, you can see that Strega were not very good to her. They don’t really care most of the game to try and free her, and we find out that she’s been self harming for a while- something Strega doesn’t just ignore, but considering Takayas philosophy, probably actively encouraged. And I like that at first, SEES aren’t equipped to handle her either. They close in and interrogate a very obviously traumatized and mentally ill girl before Junpei busts in to yell at them to give her space.

And I like how we see her passion for art. That despite her claims she cares for nothing, obviously she can’t do that. She loves art. And it’s because of Junpei she really wakes up to that.

I love Chidori

Conclusion

Honestly, I’m not sure if I can put my finger on what it was about Persona 3 that clicked for me this time. Maybe it was the linked episodes, maybe it was playing it for myself, maybe I’m just better at literary comprehension and analysis than before.

But P3 this time really stuck to me, and despite its flaws, I really do get the hype now.

#not putting this in the tags because it is very personal #p3 #gothitxt #that’s it