#when peoples perception of you doesnt actually line up with reality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alphaketoglutaricacid · 4 years

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@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did. I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl.

I think kabu and minatos relationship is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over. you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

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snkpolls · 4 years

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SnK Chapter 123 Poll Results

The chapter 123 poll closed with 1,732 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: alooulla, @attraversiamo19, @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ , @reikukaja, @shifter-lines

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,732 Responses

This chapter was down slightly from the previous two but it hardly matters considering ¾ of the fandom have given it the highest possible rating. The manga continues to excite and impress month after month and it shows.

The end has come…

I'm both excited and horrified. I'm still hoping for another twist!

"Eren has a secret plan that doesnt involve genocide" And other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself!

I loved the flashbacks. It was the calm before the storm and we saw the 104th happy for one last time. 💔

Am I allowed to ground my 19 year old fictional adopted son

Amazing and beautifully drawn. I can’t wait for the next chapter

Genocide - Xenocide - Mass Murder - the friggin' APOCALYPSE -- whatever you want to call it, it's not the answer! Unless you're a god. And you know? I'm starting to think Eren is beyond our human judgment.

At first I was disappointed, I couldn’t believe that Eren would choose such a path especially since you have to consider just how much he values life and believes everyone deserves a chance ‘because they were born into this world’. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was simply no other way.

The world: we shall banish this devils on that island Eren: NO U

I loved everything about this chapter. It had great humor, drama, violence, bombastic imagery...everything that I love about SNK

Gotta give Isayama the credit, he really put effort and thought in all of this.

I'm having withdrawals already, where's the next chapter?????

cow car cow car cow car cow car cow car

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,772 Responses

In a chapter filled with sweet flashback moments, it was “Eren’s declaration of intentions through Paths” that snagged nearly ⅓ of the vote. “Eren and Mikasa’s intimate late night conversation” (17.8%) and “The 104th throwing one last party” (13%) rounded out the top three.

I feel overwhelmed. It was bittersweet. I enjoyed reading the chapter from Mikasa's POV, plus her moments with Eren, Levi and the clown, Hanji saying "Hello car!", Sasha eating... I'M NOT CRYING AT ALL.

Eren Jaeger is best boy <3

Call me biased, I love wholesome moments so much, and we FINALLY see Levi and Hange after EIGHT whole months

Mikasa eating ice cream is the most adorable thing ever

Levi in a suit made me cry, scream, and nut all at once. I was left confused with emotions for an hour on my bed, nearly comatose at 1:30pm. By the time I realized what had happened, I looked at my phone again and saw the screenshots I took and started hyperventilating so hard I was drooling. It was great. 11/10, would do it again.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together, and it was so... Sad to see Armin ramble at Mikasa whilst she looks at him with uncertainty as he desperately tries to convince himself that Eren is on their side. Also, the moments with the car and Levi with the clown are genuinely hysterical.

Would be die from cuteness overload watching Mikasa eating ice cream!

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,778 Responses

Three characters dominated this question’s responses, leaving the rest relegated to a small portion of the graph. Where have we heard that before?

43.5% of you thought Eren was the MVP of this chapter, while nearly 31% thought it was Mikasa. At a somewhat distant third, Levi is in at just shy of 18%.I can’t be sure why this distribution is the way it is, but my guess is because saving immigrant children is really in season right now, but not nearly as much as genocide.

Eren is a GOAT!!!

OMG! Levi how I've missed you.

MIKASA'S NARRATION AND ACTUAL AGENCY. GIMME MORE!

WHAT WAS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT ABOUT THE CAR? 1,761 Responses

Poll worker #8 here. I haven’t read the rest of the results yet, but I’d guess the lighthearted nature of this question is going to be sorely needed given some of the other content in this chapter.

Onyankopon’s realization that the Paradisians really are just Like That™ got first place in this question, being voted for by a solid 40.9% of respondents. Hange’s “Hello, car!” secured second place with 23.7% of the vote, and Levi, who knows that the gang is Like That™, got third place with a clean 19% for his prediction.

AFTER LAST MONTH’S CLIFFHANGER, WE IMMEDIATELY JUMP TO FLASHBACKS! WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SHIFT? 1,753 Responses

More than two-thirds of respondents really enjoyed the flashbacks juxtaposed with last month’s cliffhanger. 17% of you liked them, but would’ve preferred that this chapter start in the present, and 9.7% were glad they were there, but thought that they took up too many pages.

The flashback in general might not have been necessary but it was very much appreciated for once. It took me back to the comedy panels Isayama used to scatter in other arcs. It may also serve the purpose of making us remember how much we love these characters before they kill them all in front of us because Yams is sadistic like that and there is no way he won't enjoy our tragic tears. Love him though.

I didn't mind the flashbacks coz it was so nice to see characters like Sasha, Levi and Hange again :'(

I honestly thought the flashback was important, it showed when and why Eren was changing, to later show us what it had led to. I feel like more flashbacks are important before we truly dwell into the rumbling fully.

I really appreciated the flashbacks, the chapter overall was amazing.

MIKASA WONDERS IF EREN’S EVER REALLY CHANGED, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1,761 Responses

The air around how Eren is viewed has changed immensely since chapter 1, but has he? The large majority at 77.3% feel he’s developed, but is still the same core person. 12% think he’s a completely different person, and 8.5% don’t believe he’s ever changed one bit in essence.

Eren doesn't really change, all he did was to focus his grudge on the people outside the walls after he knew the truth about the titans and I believe that Mikasa never knew Eren, properly.

He is the same as he ever was, what changed was our perception of him.

He's experienced more of life and developed his perspective under ever-changing circumstances, as we all do, but his core principles appear to have been the same since the day he was born - freedom is his right, and he will have it by any means necessary.

Eren will fight others for what he sees as freedom. Unfortunate, since we can never truly be free of the limitations we place on each other simply by virtue of existing together, but then Eren has never been particularly thorough in thinking things through.

He has changed in the way of his mental state. He is no longer “just” Eren. He is more like his father than ever, and he’s probably having an identity crisis.

Everyone changes as they grow older, it's impossible not to. Especially given that Eren also has the Memories of multiple persons. He even states so in his conversation with Reiner that he now understands them. So he did change, that not the question. But his will the live a life in freedom and destroying whoever tries to take this away from his, this didn't change at all.

He always had the potential to become who he is now, but he was not always a monster. he used to be a fundamentally good person with a dark side. he felt compassion towards innocents and regret/remorse over their deaths. now he locked that compassion away and let that dark side overwhelm him. he is broken.

His ideals are the same but they've amplified dangerously

There’s two sides to Eren. His good side never changed, but his potential for darkness has deepened.

It's sad that his idea of saving what he thought was all of humanity turned out to really only be an idea of saving Paradis. At the start of the series, it gave him an empathetic nature. Now, he's rather cold.

He has changed since the moment he touched Historia's hand and saw that 「THAT SCENERY」

WHAT DO YOU INTERPRET BY EREN BEING "SPACED OUT", AS ARMIN PUTS IT? 1,729 Responses

Eren was acting rather odd this chapter, and while Armin picked up on it he didn’t seem to know why. We have a pretty even split, with 47.3% thinking he’s having second thoughts about going through with a plan that would put these civilians in harm; meanwhile 45.5% believe he already knows they’re going to die. 3.3% think he’s just in awe of the new people and technology.

A mix of all the above

He is seeing his future memories and want's to see for himself whether or not they are the real truth, and the more he sees the more he comes to find out it's exactly as his memories have guided him

He sees the technology and the people and wonders how humans can treat each other in such horrible ways.

Being consumed but all the past Attack on Titans while experimenting things first time himself. Kind of like a deja-vu.

Both indecision and sadness as well as general depression due to his experiences and having to come to terms with what he sees as the only solution.

Coming to terms with the reality of the outside world, and Paradis' place in this world

General sadness and indecision. He’s seen all this before in memories and I think he’s just broken-hearted

He's searching for any reason not to go through with the plans he's already forming, but at every turn he just sees more that enforces his path (the mistreatment of Eldian refugees, the outreach commission that just wants to use Paradise as a scapegoat). He's spaced out because he isn't looking at little things like ice cream or cars like the rest of them, but instead trying to find any last spark of hope.

Realizing that this place is filled with many people and useful technology but he has to do the plan that will harm everything outside the walls for his own kind

Eren spaced out because he realized how much harm he'll put on his friends but he has no choice but to do it.

He feels nothing because he is a psychopath

Yum, tasty human rumbling patties

WHAT DID EREN MEAN WHEN, AFTER SHEDDING A TEAR, HE SAID NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO THE BOY FROM THE MARKET YET? 1,751 Responses

After acting strange upon arriving in Marley, Eren’s seen crying for seemingly no reason over the boy they met. 44.2% believe he’s seen the boy die in the rumbling, 35.4% believe that Eren knows it’s a cruel world this boy has to live in and is fearful of his future, and 18% think Eren knows something else terrible will happen to him.

When I saw that tear running down Eren's cheek, I suddenly felt so emotional that I cried too.

I certainly enjoy the vagueness of character moments such as these. Before I state my interpretation of the scene, I don't think eren knows the boy's fate like an omniscient being. He can only assume the future he saw when touching Hisu's hand is the cruel fate that will snuff the life out of this poor child. I'd say all of the above, minus the "He saw" bit.

He already had the intention of killing every non eldian and has an internal conflict because of this

He already knows he rumbled the world from Grisha's memory so I think he's mourning for every innocents that died bc of that.

He didn’t see the boy specifically. He saw the rumbling. Connecting to the boy makes him sad cuz he probably won’t make it through the rumbling. That’s why he’ll talk to the boy Personally 1on1 (memory shard), something like “you have to do X when time comes to survive”.

He saw himself in the boy and remembered the day he lost his home and his mum.

He's reminding himself of the day everything was taken from him and where he's forced to live in a refugee camp. Also he'll need to boy to get in Fort Slava.

I think hearing all those people talk about how they'll punish the kid reminded him of Grisha's sister getting killed, and he believes its only a matter of time for the boy to receive a similar fate.

The boy and his family most likely will reject and hate Eren after finding out that he is an Eldian. Eren knows that they are good people and they don't deserve to die, but even them are going to push the Eldians away, that why peace between Eldians and humanity isn't possible in Eren's eyes.

The boy was just like him, a refugee. The difference is that the child wasn’t alone in the world, and was able to stay cheerful despite everything.

He knows he finna die in the rumbling

WHY DID EREN ASK MIKASA WHAT HE IS TO HER? 1,735 Responses

Some fantastic responses here. The majority of you seem to think Eren is seeking some form of reassurance; that he is a good person, and that he matters to her, but that the scene is not particularly framed as romantic, which as an answer only achieved third place. A number of responses focused on the fact that he might be testing if the Ackerbond is true; though it is debatable whether or not he knows of its existence at this point. Given his access to memories and Yelena’s presence on Paradis, it is not impossible that he does. At the core of the responses though, was the idea that he’s just a young man feeling guilty and seeking reassurance that he matters and is cared for.

He was testing to see if her response would be the same as how he saw it in his partial future vision.

He was questioning how free she was. Is her ties to him because of a debt owned from saving her? An obligation to family? Ackerman loyalty? He wants her love for him to be a genuine choice of hers - freedom.

He was trying to figure out whether or not the Ackerbond is true.

He's depressed and needs to know he matters

I think Eren was trying to find out if his friends love him for being "Eren", or if they simply stay by him because of loyalty. I think he was trying to find the strength to go through with the plan.

Let's break it down. The context of the situation is eren's sadness over the people he will have to kill especially the kids as he was watching the kid even eariler. now, eren is worried that mikasa's care for him is based on the belief that he's a good person who saves kids but it's not who he truly is, he has it in him to kill kids and he will. So is her care genuine if it's build upon an idealized image she has of him? He asks because he has to know and he asks and he asks again and it takes this many attempts to get mikasa to say her answer slowly. I think isayama wanted to create the impression that mikasa had a different answer in mind(that she's in love with him) then the one she gave and eren could see that so he took it to mean that " family" wasn't wholehearted. He didn't find the confidence he looked for, that her familal love was why she cared for him and not her misplaced loyalty to a saint. He had a shred of doubt that he will take to his meeting with zeke who will tell him about the ackerbond

Maybe he wanted to hear that he is just Eren and not the savior of Paradis Island or some sort of devil.

DO YOU THINK THE SCENE BETWEEN EREN AND MIKASA WAS FRAMED AS ROMANTIC? 1,761 Responses

Now this scene was very interesting. 47% of you think the scene was ‘somewhat’ romantic; that it had romantic elements to it, that it was romantic on Mikasa’s part but not Eren’s, or some other reason, but was not clear cut enough to be deemed a true romantic scene. Nonetheless, ‘yes’ was on a respectable 35% whilst ‘no’ trailed at 17%. The idea that Eren had seen this moment before and was hoping for a different answer as part of some test of whether or not the future could be changed was a common response, as in the previous question.

He loves Mikasa, thus he wants to know if Mikasa eventually feels the same, so he could have a reason not to destroy the whole world

He doesn't understand Mikasa's attachment to him

Eren has romantic feelings to Mikasa and most likely knows about her feelings to him. He was looking for a reason to change his path and start a family instead of crushing the world. The same was with Grisha, who gave up on his plan and decided to live a peaceful life with his family.

Confirm that the memories are true and to see if His future and fate with Mikasa and their relationship was already decided.

He saw this moment and hoped that Mikasa would answer differently - to see that the future isn't set in stone.

He wanted to know someone was there for him. I feel like once Eren changed he saw the true colors of the people around him and emailed that no one truly understood how he was feeling or tried to get him to talk his feelings out. I honestly don’t think that Eren likes Mikasa like that and I don’t think Mikasa knows Eren as much as she thinks she does.

He wanted to see if the future he saw was preordained. Mikasa answering that and the squad arriving with "perfect timing" made him realize it was, indeed, inevitable.

He was trying to make up his mind if either Mikasa was bound to him because of her Ackerman blood or if she had authentic feelings for him.

he was worried or afraid that he stole Mikasa's freedom

WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE 104TH DRINKING TOGETHER? 1,745 Responses

In a series like this, a happy and peaceful moment like the 104th passing out together after a night spent drinking was sincerely appreciated. ~980 out of 1,745 of you said that was your favorite part of the drinking scene. 15% liked the part where Yung Fez crashed into Eren best, while 13.6% of you preferred the part where Sasha encouraged underaged drinking, and 8.4% preferred Connie and Jean’s late night resupply trip.

WHO WAS THE MOST WHOLESOME IN THE PASSED OUT SCENE? 1,753 Responses

Here we have a question with no wrong answer! Most of you seem to agree that the scene in its entirety was pretty wholesome and relaxed, something we have been missing for quite a while. That said, we did force you to pick your favourite parts, and Mikasa sleeping whilst resting against Eren won, with Eren surrounded by his friends a close second. A fitting result, for a chapter focused so much on them.

I love the wholesome flashbacks!!! like ugh yes my children deserve 2 be happy :(

Can I join the 104th getting drunk please?!

Drunk 104th squad, best squad.

I feel like the wholesomeness of the drunk shenanigans is a terrifying indication that something awful is about to happen. We needed the other flashbacks but that wasn’t necessary. It seems significant somehow.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together

WHY DO YOU THINK EREN LEFT WHEN HE DID? 1,733 Responses

Eren quietly left after one last night of partying with his friends, but why then? 60.9% say he left immediately following the man at the podium speaking due to it signifying to him peace wasn’t a plausible option. 32.3% think he had been planning to leave at that specific time for a while no matter what; and 4.6% say his conversation with Mikasa lead to him choosing to leave the next day.

Either the man's words led him to believe peace was impossible or he's a slave to the predetermined future he's seen.

He became disheartened and made up his mind to carry his own plan

He knew less people would notice and nobody could follow him so by the time they decided to chase him he'd be safe

He got some insight from the man on the podium on how they view Paradis, I felt like he left to truly confirm that this was their belief and peace wasn't an option. Hence why during the marly arc it was said that Eren vanished and lived in Marley for a while before attacking during the festival. + he was following the flow of his vision.

He had further proof for why the future that he saw couldn’t be stopped anymore.

Hearing the terrible speech from someone who they hoped would support him confirmed Eren’s suspicions that the world really is their enemy.

His plan to leave had been forming for some time. He was willing to try and search for some of these non-violent solutions the others were aimed for, but watching that speech just confirmed to him that there were no peaceful solutions for the Eldians of Paradise. Even the people most sympathetic to Eldians in general, still wanted to lay waste to the Paradise Eldians. Eren does care about his friends, and to him, this is the only way to go forward that ensures they will be safe.

He had it all planned and was looking for a reason not to do it, but didn't find any :(

That activist's words were just the cherry on top confirmation that peace was near impossible.

The Eren of the future made him decide to go

DO YOU THINK MIKASA’S ANSWER TO EREN HAD ANY EFFECT ON HIS ACTIONS? 1,749 Responses

Mikasa regrets what she said to Eren and blames herself for his actions, is she right? 63.5% agree it could have changed something, but never his end goal. 22.6% don’t think it had any bearing on Eren’s actions or goal, and 11.9% believe he would have changed his path completely upon a different response.

Absolutely unsure. It might have made a difference, maybe not. In the end, it's the question if one can change the future they have seen thanks to the Attack Titan, I guess. Or if it's inevitable as Eren said.

Communication with her and his friends as a whole could've possibly changed things

I think that’s exactly what Eren needed to hear. He refuses to lose anymore family. It reaffirmed him.

If mikasa had said anything different than what she said, it would confirm that the future he saw was not definite. That the world would not be ending. That there was a different way. And he could have taken that path.

He might’ve not done what he did in 112 to Mikasa. A fight could’ve been avoided.

I think Eren would've most certainly stayed with his family (yes I call them family) and changed his plan to align with what Mikasa and Armin favor at the moment, simply crushing the allied forces with the rumbling rather than crushing all of Planet Earth.

He was only trying to convince himself Mikasa was not taking care of him only because her Ackerman blood

It might not have changed his plan completely, but I believe it would have mattered in some way. Perhaps he subconsciously wanted her to talk him out of it.

I think he already knew the answer she was going to give, and by asking only confirmed what he knew. If she would have confessed it would have thrown Eren off for a moment only for him to stick to his plan no matter the cost.

It just affected his mood, not his decisions.

We honestly couldn't possibly know, and I think that is the beauty and the point of the entire scene.

I have no clue but I must scream AAAAA

We'll never know. And I think that's the point.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EREN’S TITAN FORMING? 1,760 Responses

Despite the unusual shape and size of Eren’s final titan form, only 5% expressed that they where not a fan of it. The remaining 95% of the fandom was impressed with “WOAH” (42%) being the word that best sums things up

Bruh he can't even move in that form

Bridge titan

His titan is a homage to Godzilla, which was a homage to nuclear weapons so things have really come full circle

I think it just looks cool

I think he'll be over 500 meters. He'll be gigantic. The devil that oversees the destruction of the world. Godzilla Titan. It'll make the size of the Wallossals look like regular pure titans compared to the colossus.

It's a monstrous form to emphasise his monstrous actions.

Maybe it's a literal manifestation of activating the founder's powers from Ymir, but it can be symbolic of him being "unstoppable" at this point.

Renewed rotisserie chicken titan with SPIKES

This is pure conjecture but I think the titan is immobile. The limbs are tiny and if the ribs aren't imbedded in the ground they'll certainly cause a lot of friction. Also, it it very cage-like, and like the houses of Shiganshina it looks like the Colossus Titans are avoiding it. So.., perhaps people will be able to hide out inside it?

What if the two “spine flaps” develop into wings?

DO YOU THINK THE SIZE AND/OR SHAPE OF EREN’S TITAN WILL BE IMPORTANT? 1,740 Responses

The general consensus is that Eren’s 15117 meter titan is going to have some unique significance. ~20% don’t think it will, and the rest have varying thoughts. Let’s take a look at them:

I figure it had something to with the founding titan power since we saw something similar with Rod when turned into a titan but, other than that I'm not sure

I think it is just a sign that brute force it will not effective to defeat him. That there is another way to stop him.

I think it’s the original form of the centispine

Chekhov’s plane

"size and shape of Eren's TITAN"? I like you very much poll people 😂

It will resemble the size of Yimr’s Founding Titan

It'd be very funny if he just...couldn't move.

No one engages thicc mode for no reason

Somewhat. Seems like the size would make it not be able to move, but it seems like a central node of sorts.

THE WALL TITANS ARE ABLE TO TURN AROUND, AND THEY’RE COMING FROM WALL MARIA TOO! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE START OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE A RUMBLING? 1,743 Responses

The fandom was unswayed by speculation about the titans position in the walls and all the things that could go wrong, so it was time for bragging rights. “I knew Eren would have control of them” was the most popular answer (37.5%).

Curiosity about the rest of Paradis was secondary. “I hope we get to see the status of the other walls” (31.8%) and “They’re causing so much destruction to Paradis” (28.2%) were in the second and third spots. The write-ins were filled with questions about swimming titans. In retrospect, we should’ve had that as an option.

Can those Titans really travel across the ocean? They're big and all, but can they grasp the necessary movements to go through water? They were put in place to destroy THE ISLAND, after all. How slow would they be at that? Rumbling sounds dramatic but there's still plenty of time before shit starts to go down in other nations

Eren seems to be trying to minimize as much damage to Paradis as you can see how the colossal titans are walking organized in a single-file line.

I don't care I'm just worried about the Blouse family!

I hope wall Rose & Sina are ok. If not, then are favs families are in danger.

I knew Eren was going all out on this, meaning making all the walls collapse and this scene was just awe-inspiring and terrifying, holly hell

I hate this, is that an acceptable answer?

I wish we would’ve gotten to see more of it.

I'm worried about everyone, even the people from Paradis. I trust Eren's powers but I don't think it's the right choice. I have hopes that his plan turns out bigger than this.

This is a perfect excuse to see the northern district

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF EREN SPEAKING TO ALL ELDIANS THROUGH PATHS? 1,741 Responses

The numbers are in, and JUST shy of 90% of you thought it was really cool to see Eren use PATHS FM to talk to every single Eldian. A few others don’t love the prominence of the P A T H S. Let’s look at a few other thoughts:

A mix of the two. Loved it, incredible dramatic effect, but what the actual fuck PATHS can't do anymore

Awesome. It's important to the plan that Eldians on the mainland heard his message too.

Chilling. Oh my god, the king is speaking.

Fucking awesome and Annie 100% heard him talking

Hahaha what the sweet fucc

@everyone

It feels weird the way he announced it... something’s up.

Tell everyone he knows his true intentions. Or makes someone make a choice based on what he's planned, which is the real outcome hes seen.

Very Interesting. Annie will likely hear and not be too thrilled.

WHAT IS YOUR PRIMARY THOUGHT ABOUT EREN’S MONOLOGUE? 1,751 Responses

The snk fandom? Divided on Eren’s actions? Who could have predicted this!? 31.2% of respondents said that, above all else, they were primarily glad to see Eren’s thoughts and plans finally revealed. Trailing close behind, like Shia Lebeauf, 31% said that Eren’s monologue will go down as one of the greatest speeches in anime/manga history.

23.2% were disturbed that Eren’s plan was about killing billions of people. 11.1% of voters were just Connie Springer on 190 computers, saying, “It didn’t seem like Eren. It gives me hope that this isn’t his true plan.”

You’ll notice that there’s a seemingly missing part of the graph. Nothing is actually missing there, that’s just like, sixty different 1 vote responses. Three cheers for technological limitations!

Both awed and disturbed

Epic, not quite as epic as Erwin's speech from The Nameless Soldiers, but the artwork and transitions between real world and path world were amazing and really added a lot.

He's making himself into an enemy that the world will unite to defeat.

I am sad to see the decision he took. I do understand his motives and I also feel like there's no other way, the cycle of war and hatred would continue until one of the two people is exterminated. Let's not forget that Marley and other nations want to exterminate the eldians. In a sense, he's trying to protect his people, it's a sort of self defense. That's not to say it's the best way.

I don’t necessarily believe it since his flashback/pov is not even shown yet.

Well yeah, I'm in to what I think he's planning

well, it's clear that Eren will be the final antagonist.

Yuuki Kaiji's going to snatch all of us when this hits the anime

EVERY EREN IS HOT. TRUE OR FALSE? 1,772 Responses

Dedication to Eren in all his forms is clearly evident as 52.9% classify Eren’s nightmarish final titan form as hot.

I hope Eren’s face doesn’t stay that messed up

Eren is a chad and needs more shirtless panels.

Eren's face looks like an Oni mask in the last panel

DO YOU THINK MIKASA BEING PRESENT IN THE PATHS DIMENSION DECIDES THAT SHE HAS ELDIAN BLOOD, ONCE AND FOR ALL? 1,742 Responses

We thought this was an important question to ask, as many fans are confused as to the exact nature of Mikasa’s heritage and blood. Therefore, a lot of the responses we got were from fans who thought it was obvious she had Eldian blood; despite this, the majority of you still think she cannot turn into a titan, perhaps because the Ackerman genome prevents it. Nonetheless, a small number of fans also seem to think she has no Eldian blood at all, and is only in the paths dimension due to touching Armin.

Ackerman is said to be sub product of titan experiment. It is possible that Eldian Empire injected Titan Shifter's spinal fluid to non eldian, including Ackerman. They have maybe little DNA of Eldian that related to Titan transformation.

Ackermans are titan experients that use the paths ... so Im not surprised she is there ... I dont think that necessarily means she can turn into a titan

Don't Ackermans have access to PATHS as well, even though they don't have Eldian blood? Or do they have a separate PATHS dimension? I think Levi's on the brink of death situation will answer this

Hasn't it been clear for a long time that she has Eldian blood?

I always thought the Ackermans were of Eldian blood.

I didn't even knew there was doubt

No, she touched Armin

No, she's there because she's touching Armin

She always was eldian you dolts lol

DO YOU THINK EREN TRULY INTENDS TO DESTROY THE WORLD, OR DO YOU THINK HE’S BLUFFING? 1,755 Responses

What’s the expression, “Nothing new under the sun?” Eren’s been talking about destroying the entire world since Season 1, and nearly 60% (58.2, technically) of you guys think he’s actually about to do it. Just over a third (33.9%) of you think he’s totally bluffing, and if I can do math at at least a third grade level, that leaves 7.9% of you guys unsure about whether or not he’s telling the truth.

IF YOU BELIEVE HE’S BEING HONEST ABOUT HIS INTENTIONS, DO YOU THINK THAT HE WILL BE STOPPED? 1,705 Responses

Regardless of how we view the full rumbling, 60% of the fandom think he’ll be stopped one way or another. Armin and Mikasa stopping the genocide was the top answer (37.8%) followed by the Survey Corps (7.1%). Zeke saving his little brother (3%) narrowly edged out the Warriors (2.5%). As always, we had plenty of write ins.

Survey Corps x Warriors team up to stop the mad lad himself

All mentioned groups will finally work together to stop him

All of these options are possible, and I'm scared.

Armin and Reiner will probably be the ones to stop him.

Armin Arlert, Reiner (Helos) Braun, and Annie will team up to stop him. titan Reiner will ride on titan Armin's shoulders and blend into the colossal crowd, until they get close enough to stop Eren. Then Annie, awaken by the total rumbling, will use her scream to cause the collosals to consume each other. the end

Armin or Mikasa will have to kill him

At this point, i believe that Zeke, The Warriors and probably someone from the old gang will join to stop him.

Both sides like the paradise/survey corps and Marley/the warriors/rest of the world will work the together as one to take down one powerful enemy, it’s eren Yeager and his army of wall Titans that will destroy the outside lands

Eren said when Armin was dying that Armin would be the one to save the world. Maybe it's something he saw from the future.

Everyone else except Zeke and a few others (like Yelena and Floch) will be involved in stopping him as well as making sure Zeke doesn't get his will either

He won't stop out of his own free will, but something might go wrong and the rumbling will get interrupted before the whole world is gone.

I don't think he will be (or even could be) stopped, but I believe the SC and the warriors will still try to stop him

Yes, every nation in the world + Paradis will gang up in a Great Alliance

I hope he can be stopped somehow but I don’t know how. Poor Ymir might have to make another awful sacrifice. Ugh. Or historia.

I think he will be stopped. I think he WANTS to be stopped. But I'm not sure by who and how

Reiner will stop him, at the cost of both of their lives

I'd like to choose the first option but I don't think A-M will succeed only with 'talks'. I believe they'll be forced to do 'something more' than it.

No "Team Effort" answer?

Ymir will stop him

IF EREN IS NOT BLUFFING, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT HIS ACTIONS ARE JUSTIFIED? 1,759 Responses

Eren’s seemingly finally revealed his plan, and it’s drastic. But is it justified? We got an incredibly close split, showing just how divisive Eren’s actions are, but also that there’s a lot of support on both sides. By a hair, at 50.4%, the fandom is overall condemning of Eren, while the other half at 49.6% can see where he’s coming from.

This chapter made me to understand Eren better. I found that he hasn't changed and he is really in pain. Eren didn't turn into a cruel monster who hates his friends. He is full of pain because he believes that his fate is about killing a lot of innocent people. He was trying to avoid it as much as he could but for some reason the vision of the future was always right. I believe that Eren isn't free but is a big slave of his own beliefs. He is sure that he cannot change anything. Yet he forgot that his freedom is about his decisions and actions he takes.

There is no such thing as self-defense genocide, as much part of the fandom wants to force it to be neither is ever justifiable

There is more to Eren's plan. Perhaps it's a bluff? Or a warning/threat? It will go much deeper than What It appears now.

Opens a lot of interpretations, which I am not a fan of. Eren still has not proven himself to be a villain or a hero. Will have to wait

We need a way to put Eren down. He’s already disposed of Zeke’s plan, now he’s calling out for help. He’s taunting every Eldian via paths to try and stop him, to please stop him. Armin has been foreshadowed as the one to save humanity, and I think now he will live up to it to protect the ones he loves.

I don´t understand how you could justify Eren´s doings. To save his homeland, to protect his family is not enough to justify this genocide. I hardly sympathize with him, and killing each and everyone of his enemies is not the right solution.

The chapter was great but seriously ppl who are trying to justify eren's plan and motives just need to calm the fuck down

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DO YOU THINK THAT EREN IS THE VILLAIN IN THIS STORY? 1,769 Responses

Token Eren supporter here. This graph speaks for itself, so instead of rattling off numbers at you guys for like, the fifteenth time this post, here are some fun, relevant facts:

You can’t spell slaughter without laughter!

There are an estimated 12 times more trees on the planet than there are stars in the galaxy. That’s a LOT of places to check for a centispine.

Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong

Those are some neat facts! That’s probably because I’m a genius and I’m way smarter than everyone, because I support Eren Jaeger. Now before you REEEEE in the comments, here are the thoughts of the unwashed masses:

At this point, I see Eren is a example of 'You either die a hero or live long enough to you see yourself as the villian' and somewhat of anti-Villain.

Eren is not *the* villain, but he is *a* villain. SNK has always emphasised multiple points of view. There will never be The Villain.

WHICH STATEMENT MOST CLOSELY MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EREN’S PLAN? 1,749 Responses

Thoughts on Eren’s plan are very interesting to look at, so let’s look at these numbers on the graph in another way. While the majority, at 57.8% agree that Eren’s plan is the best route, they admit it’s cruel. So while this number outshines the total 34.9% that don’t side with him, both groups of not siding with him outshine the 7.3% that gave Eren’s plan the best moral ranking you could out of the options.

Even I, eternally wary of Eren and all extremist characters in general, was surprised that his plan was unlimited destruction rather than offensive attacks until capitulation. The wholesale destruction of every living being without actually knowing whether they personally hate and fear Paradis is vicious and fearful beyond what I expected from him.

Eren is a great MC for his grey areas so I don't like people reducing him to just evil when it's clear that it's his desperation and love for the Eldians what led him to this. I hope when the anime comes the public will see the bigger scheme and not just hear the words of a "genocidal" because that isn't Isayama's intention at all.

Eren did nothing wrong! But seriously I question if there was really another way since the ones ruling the rest of the world are determined to end paradisians if not all eldians. Eren being able to see glimpses of the future is a curse which drained him and ultimately he wished for things to be different but the world would not allow that.

It upset me because genocide and I want to think there’s another twist coming but I wouldn’t say it’s ooc if the spade is indeed a spade.

Already knew his plan is mass genocide. Now my only hope is for his friends to stop and defeat him.

I think the outcome of his plan will be really bad. Even though I understand his intentions and don't even think he's a villain at all, someone will have to stop him and "set him free" just like he did with Ymir. I think that we're gonna lose Eren forever and that makes me really heartbroken.

#ErenDidNothingWrong2k19

DO YOU THINK HISTORIA'S ALLEGIANCE IS WITH EREN? DO YOU THINK THEY'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER? 1,736 Responses

Historia is still a big question mark at this point, do you think she’s in line with Eren now that we know what he wants? A little less than ⅔, at 63.5% say yes they’re working together, whereas about ⅓, at 36.5% still aren’t convinced she’s aligned herself with him.

This is Eren moving his Chess piece. I’m excited to see Historia make her move. Then to see how the Warriors and rest of the world are going to counterattack.

I'd love to see Historia's POV sooner or later

Eren already made up his mind since he talked with Yelena and Historia before his depart.

What does Hisu think about all the kids who weren't lucky enough to be born within the walls being crushed to death? Is she still determined to rush out there and tell them that they should have been born? Because there are gonna be a loooot of kids who wish they weren't born if Eren succeeds.

I hope we'll soon get to see Historia & Annie.

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,746 Responses

With the series winding to a close, we want it all and we want it now! While the Rumbling (27.2%), present day Levi and Hange (24.8%), and Historia (24.2%) are the top 3, requests for Annie have been up slightly with the last two chapters. The possibility of her being in the PATHS realm is strong. She was mentioned 21 times in the write-ins.

I just. Need Annie. For god's sake I can't go on reading snk without her I-

I want more rumbling and less flashbacks.

I hope to see Annie in the next one, that's all

The last question was unfair, there are so many thing I want to see next :D of course annie historia levi hange, as always. But I chose the eren-fez boy memory because it's the most relevant part now and I fear that if we don't see it now we'll never see it.

I want to see Annie and Hange/Levi AND rumbling AND more drunk 104th AND Historia and OMG pls show all in next 40 pages Yams thankx

Rumbling and Warriors! I want to see jean, reiner, and connie react to earth devil eren who is transforming in front of them. Mayne we'll see a reunion from jean/connie with their former brother figure Reiner. They'll work together.

i WANT TO SEE THE RUMBLING GOING FULL FORCE WITH NO HALF ASS STOP!!

I understand that flasbacks are very important, but I hope to see present-time action more

Less flashbacks, more rumble

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Levi anda hange come back in beg you

Why can't I pick all the options for the last question :(((

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,651 Responses

Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field, followed distantly by Tumblr. The mind absolutely boggles trying to understand why there could have been an exodus of Tumblr users that used to discuss the series there. I still remain thoroughly convinced that you four that voted snapchat either all know each other, or you’re all voting it for the meme. Nonetheless, unironically, jokes aside, in all seriousness, so there can be no doubt, genuinely, we appreciate poll takers from all platforms!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 366 Responses

Awesome!!! Cruel, but Awesome!!!

God I had missed Levi so much

AoT has been one heck of a villain origin story

STEP ON ME, DADDY EREN

AoT has been delivering amazing chapters non-stop, and I fucking love it

Just hope floch lives tbh

My heart is shattered because of Eren. I truly love him and don't him to suffer anymore. I don't want to see Mikasa and Armin suffering for him again (I will never recover from chapter 112. I literally cried my eyes out when I read it).

I believe in Eren even if I don't like the fact that he's ready to kill (as it seems) the rest of the world. We still need some more fb and the one we got was amazing. It was really moving. I can't wait to see what happens next

For the past year, the manga just continues peaking and peaking. Eren is the greatest character in the story and these last 5 chapters have each been contender for the greatest chapter.

Incredible, Isayama has nailed how to tie flashbacks into what's happening presently in the story. This is by far the darkest chapter yet... can't wait to see what's next.

Best chapter of the entire story in my opinion and possibly the best chapter of all manga.

I hope this doesn't go the Code Geass route.

Best. Chapter. Ever. It puts everything together. I can't wait to see the next chapters, especially Eren's POV, though I kinda think we might only be getting it in the very last chapter.

The logistic problems of getting the wall titans to the other nations alone is enough to make me question whether they'll ever make it before Eren is stopped. Literally how are they going to get across the ocean? Stick rafts (I mean we've seen Eren's titan build a stick house before so that would be quite fun to me actually)? I sincerely doubt Eren is going to Paths-transmit a frontcrawl swimming lesson to them, and if they just trundle across the ocean floor they're going to run out of energy since neither sunlight nor moonlight can penetrate to that depth. AND they're gonna crush every fucking thing between them and ocean on their way!! Those things are far too massive to manoeuvre themselves around Paradis civilians. I just...don't see how this can work even if we DON'T look at the moral implications!

Founding Titan is overpowered as fuck. I can't stop thinking about that panel from chapter 2, when Reiner says Eren is the worst person to have the founding titan. I guess he was right

I felt that it was odd for eren to declare his motive especially when he knows Eldians from Marley can here it as well, I felt that he had ulterior motives.

Who needs cell phones when you have Paths?

Although I knew it was coming, I feel disappointed that the series went this way. Worldwide destruction is cartoonishly evil so I had been hoping that my fears wouldn't be realized. If we had to have this, I would have rather at least followed Eren through the events and gotten his direct PoV, rather than having his PoV become the new mystery drawn out over the course of a few years' worth of chapters, just to end up with this easily-guessed endgame, and only getting brief flashbacks to make us understand how it got to this point. I'm really underwhelmed by this arc.

Didnt think he'd legit kill every human. Doesnt even make sense. He doesnt really know what people think outside of what he's seen/what Kiyomi says. Talk about being ignorant.

Honestly, this may be dumb of me but I was expecting something a bit more nuanced? And, maybe it is we'll have to see. I'm not disappointed, but i guess I'm not all that surprised either. I'm more like, 'huh. i see'

I don't buy that he really wants to annihilate everyone outside Paradis (think of fez kid and family!) so I'm mostly curious why he needs to tell a lie only Subjects of Ymir will hear.

@the question "is eren the villain". I answered no but he's definetely *a* villain in this story.

Before reading this chapter, I was expecting to see mass destruction and I thought I was gonna be really sad while reading it, but I really like how there was a flashback. I know after the cliffhanger from last chapter, I didn't want a change of perspective, but I was actually happy to see the squad together in Marley because I do miss them all together ...I also really loved Levi in the flashback. It was hilarious when the clown thought he was a kid and I loved how he saved that kid who pick-pocketed Sasha. Seeing him the flash back made me realize how much I missed him and I really hope he is alive the next time we see him because he deserves to survive the end.

Christ, Eren is scary. I really hope he doesn't succeed, his plan won't bring peace

Drunk 104th squad, is the best squad

ELDIA 4 EVER

EM SCENES WERE SO GOOD AND BITTERSWEET!

Eren is about to pull a Lelouch so much.

Eren is more like Light then Lelouch

Eren is risking everybody on Paradis since he destroyed the three walls. It's not like he gave a delay for everybody to hide behind Wall Sina and unleash destruction with Wall Rose and Maria. The battlefield happens to be lucky because the city is deserted and Shiganshina is the southermonst part of the walled section. But in the meantime Eren is terrorizing the entire population on the island and might even kill those in the way. He's not doing this for Eldian supremacy either since mainland Eldians fall under the scope of his attack. Hell even their allies, Hizuru, are on his target list.

Everything about this chapter is SAD, eren leave his beatiful life with his friends, make a big responsibility on his shoulder ALONE, His friends denying about his behaviour change, forced to see a horror scenery in his mind (from future or past memories), and so yeah i hope eren will be "saved" by someone dont make him a mass murderer because his decided future. Someone like mikasa and armin, please..

the artwork in this chapter was quite fantastic. Some really good panels, and the last double page was just phenomenal. 11/10 for the artwork.

Given Eren specified that the walls' hardening had been undone, I think we will not only see Annie return given her hardened crystal may shatter, but I think next chapter we will see the return of all of the characters we haven't seen for a while as they look onto the horizon to see what has begun

There have been many warning signs throughout the manga that Eren’s ultimate goals have always been extreme, extreme to the point of complete annihilation, starting with the desire of completely annihilating the titans and then everyone who isn’t a subject of Ymir.

I definitely liked that we get a flashback, showing our favorite characters together one last time before everything goes down. But I REALLY think it’s about time we get to see Levi & Hange, especially Annie again in the next chapter.

I don't understand how so many people in the fandom are shocked that Eren wants to destroy the world, it was pretty obvious for a while. Also I'm really disturbed how many of his rabid stans still defends him... I mean, c'mon, you can love him and understand his reasons, but justify him and rooting for him is just fucked up.

I enjoyed it overall, but i did not expect or like the fact that the flashback took around 70% of the chapter. Specially when the flashback itself does not provide any kind of new information that we did not see in other chapters, other than the fact of showing us the Paradise main cast being on Marley for the first time, wich i loved.

Nothing can justify genocide, but I understand and feel sorry for him. This whole chapter is about him crying out for help, trying to change the future events he’s already seen, hoping desperately that SOMETHING will go differently and that he won’t have to do what he has to. But the world of Attack On Titan is a cruel place and the conflict between Eldia and the rest of the world won’t go away until one of them is destroyed. Zeke chose the world, Eren chose his country, his people and his friends.

I like to think that Eren at his core really does only wish to save the people he loves and promised to protect and fight for, and that he doesn't really want genocide and will even soften up soon, even if he needs help to be snapped out of it first. I also like to think his whole being, mind and ideology and all got convoluted when mingled together with the wills and memories of so many other previous titan holders, and that not everything is his own genuine will or wish.

I really hope Eren's solution will mirror the 'miracle' that happened between Uri and Kenny back in Ch. 69. Uri asked whether it was violence that averted their path of mutual destruction, and while Kenny makes a snarky remark about how Uri grabbed Kenny with his titanized hand, I think there's some truth in that. Perhaps Eren will clutch the world with the wall titans and stop the rumbling just short? Though I can't see Eren going to his knees like Uri did, so this may just be wishful thinking. Guess we'll see next month.

I really love how Eren turned out although some might think him as a heartless person. But that scene with him silently shedding a tear shows that he still has emotions and feels empathy & sympathy towards others. He is still very clear of his goal and plan and his courage to do what he thinks it's right even though everyone has doubts towards him really shows his courage to always move forward no matter what. I don't think destroying the whole world was his true plan after all, it just seemed way too far fetched for me. I can't wait for the next chapter to reveal more of his intentions and plan.

I really love the chapter because it was wholesome and tragic at same time which the author is good at balancing bittersweet stuff to his work which I love and respect him for doing it

I think it is time to the Ackermans to shine in this final battle. They cannot be controled by the FT unlike the rest of the eldians (including Historia and Zeke). I bet my money to Mikasa to become the "reincarnation of Helos" and defeat Eren (with a tons of angst betwixt). Kill your beloved one? sound like another twisted and evil idea from Isayama to make us suffer, his readers.

I thought I'll say that but here I am. I believed there is enough good in Eren Yeager to fight for all people. I was wrong and that hurts. I'm totally suing him.

I thought Ymir would do the rumbling though. Ymir, please show yourself more!

I’m so sad.. I love you Eren.. please use your pretty brain even though I know you’re trying so damn hard I love you and you deserve better

Isayama was attempting murder with that Eren and Mikasa conversation. I never thought he would make Eren ask something like "what am I to you?" to Mikasa in fucking canon and I almost died while reading.

i really miss when everything was about just killing titans, even tho i really like how the story is developing at this point. i could never imagined it wiil be like this.

look guys I know diplomacy isnt flashy and you want Eren to be the tormented anti-hero fighting for the little people. but I swear some of you are thirteen years old with the level of nuance you can apparently handle. Gabi is devil incarnate but Eren is justified in murdering billions of people he's never met or talked to because he's afraid they might not like him? You need to be better than this.

Looking forward to seeing the carnage Eren unleashes after years of abuse from Marley and the outside world.

Masterpiece!!! Love it!! It’s like you got a little bit of everything in this chapter! Mikasa POV, The Rumbling, a little bit of fan service, the Eren and mikasa talk .. 10/10

Eren using titans to kill his enemies? That the first king. This is the reason everyone hates Eldians, Eren what the fuck

Kiyomi is the most fishy character of Snk. I have noticed Kiyomi seldom makes eye contacts with the Survey Corps during the talk. She definitely hides info and lies to them.

Remember that you would most likely not be on Paradis. You would most likely be minding your own business, rocking your child to sleep or visiting your grandma, when that wall of titans came to crush the life out of you for the sin of being born in the wrong place at the wrong time. And if we thought that was unacceptable when it happened to Eren and co. then we must consider it unacceptable for every other innocent civilian caught in the crosshairs of war.

Seeing the "hero" descending to full villain and it being true would be crushingly sad, but cool and very daring at the same time. I'm not sure if it's definitely what Isayama is doing, but it'd be very ballsy and I'd adknowledge that. I love irony and it would be very ironic so, yeah.

Shows how miserable Eren's life truly is. He clearly doesn't want to do what he is doing but also understands that it NEEDS to be done. It can be only him and nobody else. How we went from an angry boi to a literal god.

SnK is the only series that can make me simultaneously want to see Eren fucking obliterate everything, but also want to see "those days" come back.

Starting of with the *many* elephants in this rom, I really liked how Issayma portrayed the colossal Titans marching. It looks so gloomy and dark. The flashback parts were so wholesome, especially for a a chapter about genocide. Having this shift in tone from the start was a great idea. I'm still not a fan of Eren destroying the entire world. I know it's the probably the only definite solution but I'm starting to like Zeke's Plan more now lol

Team Eren. Reset the world!

The beginning was so freaking cute. By the end, I felt disturbed and disappointed. I thought Yams was doing something that didn't make sense. But now I strongly feel that we still haven't had Eren's real plan revealed to us. Eren intends to sacrifice himself, letting his friends defeat him to convince the world to see Paradis in a different light and make peace possible.

Zook faceplanting the sand is a power move

What a chapter! Feels like last final breath before shit will hit the fan for real, can't wait for next chapter...

#snk poll #snk polls #snk chapter 123 #snk 123 #snk poll results

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mikeshanlon · 4 years

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iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?

i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/

I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/

like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/

Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5

Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!

Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.

Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…

Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???

But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!

#if we were villians #books #also literally dont apologize for any mistakes or going bonkers like i have no problem n i understood what u meant anyways LMAO #anon #ask

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theliberaltony · 4 years

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via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to Political Confessional, a column about the views that Americans are scared to share with their friends and neighbors. In an increasingly polarized political climate, adherence to party or ideological orthodoxy seems de rigueur. Social media serves only to amplify that perception at times.

But Americans’ political views are often idiosyncratic and sometimes offensive, and they rarely adhere neatly to any particular party line. In this column, we want to dig into Americans’ messy opinions on politics, morality and social mores. We hope that this exercise gives readers a glimpse into the minds of those with whom they might disagree — or agree! If you have a political belief that you’re willing to share with us, fill out this form — we might get in touch.

This week we talked with Jennifer, a 38 year old white woman from North Carolina who wrote in to say, “I am an evangelical Christian but I think Trumpism is actually, truly a religious cult.” She feels “horrified to watch most of my friends and family believe Trump is God’s chosen one … I feel like I’m living inside of the story “The Emperor Has No Clothes.” Am I the crazy one?! Why can no one in church see he’s naked!!!!!”

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Clare Malone: When did you come to this opinion and how?

Jennifer: It was leading up to the 2016 election. And it really was hearing the sound bites of the actual words coming out of Donald Trump. Now, it wasn’t certain talking heads or certain news programs. It was literally the quotes or the video clips of him speaking that were so offensive to me. I couldn’t imagine voting for him even though I’ve always been a Republican.

I would probably consider myself a little bit of a centrist at this point. I mean, I’m pro-life — like, babies being born but also refugee children being cared for. I think it’s hypocritical to be here for one and not the other. And I care about women in crisis too, I just don’t think that these issues need to be so dehumanizing for certain people to win power.

CM: Take me back to 2016. When did you start to hear people start to make justifications for Trump?

Jennifer: My friends were conflicted when he made the remark about grabbing a woman. But once he ended up winning, then I felt like people really started to justify voting for him.

It’s just weird in this polarized environment because I can’t call myself a member of the GOP anymore. I am not super liberal, but I definitely can’t go along with the leadership of the country right now.

CM: Why do you think they have started justifying his actions? Is it the news they watch? Is there biblical justification to say, “Sure, God has picked an imperfect vessel.”

Jennifer: I think part of it is people feel the need to be consistent. If you went ahead and voted for the person, you don’t want to feel bad about yourself, you want to come up with reasons to feel good about the fact that you voted for them. If you agree with the president, you’re going to say we should pray for him. The Bible tells us to pray for our leaders. But if there is a person in power who is not of your political party, do you show them the same grace? Do you pray for them as well? I feel like it’s this double standard which I don’t think is biblical. I think that’s just our human nature.

CM: How do you feel about that personally? How do you feel about Trump and forgiveness?

Jennifer: Well, if you want to talk about the Bible, I think the Bible requires repentance for God to grant forgiveness to people. And so I think I haven’t seen any true repentance in any of his actions. I would use scripture that talks more about how a wise man deals with a fool — there’s a verse that says if a wise man tries to reason with a fool the fool only rages and laughs.

CM: Would you say that the attitude of people in your community about Trump has changed the way that you feel about your church?

Jennifer: I’m confronted with this reality of like four out of five evangelicals voting for this man. And it’s like, are we seeing the same reality? It’s made me want to be careful what church I attend, and what programs I’m involved with, because I think this is going to have really long term, deeply negative effects on the American culture’s view of Christians. The challenge for me is to think about how this one person, Donald Trump, doesn’t dictate who Jesus Christ is. The challenge is to focus on Jesus himself.

CM: You said earlier that you’re pro-life in the sense of wanting babies to be born but you also care about refugee children. How have the kids-in-cages news stories been received in your community given that the Trump administration has been defending that policy?

Jennifer: I do have some friends who are troubled by that. But I also have friends popping up in my Facebook newsfeed defending those policies. I think that we have to almost dehumanize people in our view of them in order to justify. So, if you talk to someone who’s very liberal and talk about the issue of abortion, they’re going to say that’s not a baby. That’s not a person. And if you talk to conservatives about a child of an immigrant in a cage, they’re going to say, they’re not Americans. They don’t belong here. Their parents broke the law. They deserve this. They’re distancing themselves from that humanity, leading to them to look at those children differently than they would look at an American child.

CM: Are you thinking of yourself as a Democrat right now?

Jennifer: I’ve switched my registration to independent. I have been GOP my whole life. At this point, I really want to see how the polling is and throw my support to whoever seems most likely to beat Donald Trump.

CM: Have you brought up your controversial opinion to family members or people in the community who support Trump?

Jennifer: I find it really hard to break through. I have some friends that are more extreme than others, like a couple friends who are really talking almost like he’s almost a messiah of sorts.

CM: How have you dealt with it on an interpersonal level? Do you switch the conversation topic at a certain point?

Jennifer: My husband and I don’t agree about it. We’ve only been married a couple years. If things get too heated we table the discussion. I think sometimes it helps if I can share personal stories or ways that seem to affect me personally; like, if I can talk about how upsetting it is being a woman to hear the derogatory comments. It’s frustrating. You care about someone and you’re on different pages.

The funny thing is, I felt like I wasn’t that political of a person before 2016. But then I just felt so deeply offended by the attitudes towards women, towards minorities, the horrible things happening at the border. And I mean, to be honest, I just expect more of Christians. Because I am a Christian.

For me, the challenge is, how do I keep from villainizing or dehumanizing those that I disagree with? And I feel like that has to start with me.

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #Clare Malone

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templehill · 5 years

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To paraphrase – the duchess has jumped the footman, where did it all go so wrong for the third series of Victoria?

Spoliers.... It’s easy to blame it being up against Line of Duty but with +1 and catch up, if people really had wanted to watch series 3 of Victoria they would have, but they haven’t. With a few exceptions, social media is awash with complaints from viewers who have turned off or are about to, how has it gone so spectacularly wrong from the first series which unexpectedly beat Poldark in the ratings?

1. The endless Victoria and Albert rows – Victoria and Albert are meant to be the big love story a love so strong and pure that when Albert died, Victoria mourned for the rest of her life. The writers played up to that in series 1 and 2 but in this series, it’s been fight after petulant fight. Do married couples fight? Of course they do but the mistake here has been to make them so damn repetitive. They fight, they make up, another baby happens, on and so very boringly on! The worse thing as has been pointed out extensively on social media has been the transformation of Albert from Victoria’s serious and grounded but deeply loving protector and confidant to gaslighter in chief (Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where people are manipulated into doubting their own feelings, memories and perceptions). It’s been pretty horrible to watch and the transformation of Victoria into a childish tantrum throwing hurler of vases and slapper of husbands has not been fun either. No one, NO ONE wants to watch this for 8 episodes.

2. Jophie falls flat – Sophie and joseph are meant to be the ship of the series, theirs is the romantic sub plot like Drumfred last year, Hernest in series 1 and 2 and skerretelli in series 1 and 2, that we’re meant to fall in love with and root for - except viewers have for the most part given it a resounding MEH. The actors who play the parts are certainly attractive enough (Lily Travers in particular is stunning) but it simply hasn’t caught on. Their lack of chemistry doesnt help (putting two pretty people together does not chemistry make) but even more is the impatient way the whole plot has been done. Whereas skerretelli didn’t kiss until episode 8 of series 2 and drumfred until episode 7 of series 2, by episode 5 sophie and joseph have already kissed and its as if the writers are standing over our shoulders looking impatiently at their watches saying “come on, come on, get on and ship them”. We know nothing about them other than she has the most Disney villain of mean husbands and joseph is a rubbish footman and likes to swim. We have no reason to really care about them as a couple at all and so we don’t. Plus of course the Victoria writers have serious form with relationships on this show; not a single one has ever survived happily. Why would we care about them when we know in all likelihood it will go wrong? we cant be bothered to make the emotional investment again - fool me once and all that. Incidentally, the abusive husband storyline could have run perfectly well without throwing in the romance with a footman even though the duke is hilariously two dimensional, he only needs a swirling black cloak so he can run out the door cackling for full dramatic effect.

3. Feodora. Oh dear. Leaving aside the complete historical inaccuracy of her relationship with Victoria and when she visited England, there is simply no way that someone supposedly as intelligent as Albert is meant to be, wouldn’t see through her. Instead not only does he not see through her, but the two of them together gaslight Victoria and really its hard to know what to say other than arghhhhhh. Some attempts are made to explain Feo’s jealousy of Victoria – Victoria has the perfect life and doesn’t appreciate it, Feo could have been Queen of England but no attempt is made to explain why Victoria is putting up with this nonsense. It’s just irritating to watch people being so ridiculously stupid.

4. The whitewashing of Victoria as a mother. The problem with writing a historical drama is that people have an internet. No one expects Victoria to be a documentary but one of the most well known things about Victoria was that she hated being pregnant and hated being a mother. She resented her children for taking Albert’s time from her and she found them boring and annoying. It would actually have been a brave thing to do, to show this reality a woman who doesn’t like being a mother but obviously that’s too much and so we have Victoria the uber mother. Always stepping in to protect her children, clutching her pearls in horror at Bertie’s tutor hitting him when in reality she and albert beat their children frequently. It’s all part of the general Victoria saves the day trope the Victoria writers are so fond of – Victoria sorts the Irish famine, Victoria supports emancipation, Victoria defeats cholorea. Writers are entitled to interpret the facts as they like but they’re not actually entitled to their own facts.

5. The vanishing or where the hell did everyone go? One of the reasons Downton Abbey was so successful was that it had a group of main characters who stayed at the heart of the show as others came and went. 13 main characters in Downton stayed the entire 6 series. By contrast after only 3 series, Victoria has only 2 main characters who have made it through, Victoria and Albert. Ernest, Harriet, the Duchess of Kent, Wilhemina Coke, the Duchess of Buccleuch, Miss Cleery, have all just vanished; Mrs Skerrett has died and Francatelli has disappeared as a consequence. Lord Alfred who as one half of Drumfred had a prominent and beautiful storyarc in series 2 which viewers adored has been relegated to the background and no mention has been made of his apparent marriage or fatherhood. The ignoring of a neon lit storyline that would have been interesting – the continuation of Alfred and Wilhelmina as a married couple trying to manage their different expectations and sexualities in favour of a Disney villain sister and a tired upstairs downstairs storyline sums up this series. Any writer worth their salt should have been all over that plotline and yet here we are.

So if there is a series 4 and Im sure there will be can Victoria redeem itself? Maybe

1. Keep Lord Palmerston. The only well rounded character this year has been Laurence Fox’s Lord Pam who has gleefully chewed up the scenery with his performance. He’s cynical, populist, arrogant but can also be kind and sympathetic, showing an insight into other people’s lives and difficulties almost wholly lacking in other characters. Historically he was PM twice in the 1850s and we assume series 4 will end with Albert’s death, so just keep him

2. Do the alfred and Wilhelmina storyline – just do it, seriously, get someone else to write it if you cant, just DO IT

3. Stop with the Vicbert rows

4. Stop the Victoria saves the day whitewashing

5. If you are dumping characters from series 3, explain what happened to them even if its only one line, it makes a big difference.

Read the social media responses, understand why people are so fed up, take that on board. No one is saying you have to write a fan service series, that way madness lies (looking at you sherlock) but think about why people are saying what they are saying because those are the people bothering to say it. For every one of them, there are a 1000 people who switched off already. Think about it.

#victoria itv #victoriaitv

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hcrris · 5 years

Text

can ….. i come in ????? have been watching unbreakable kimmy schmidt for 3 hours pretending time isnt passing , life isnt real and in fact.. i am dreaming (-: lajdfksl hey <3 im jay im 21 and i love those instagram profiles of hamsters in little clothes ( when they got little purses? ???? dont talk to me im cryin. ) below u will find info about jane harris aka literally the vine of the little kid scribbling hard like his life depended on it. shes a mess ?? but a semi enjoyable mess. a mess with good intentions. if u want to establish some connections, LIKE THIS and i will come annoy u <3 alternatively u can ease my social anxiety and msg me here or through my discord sencha tea#4035 (و ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و♡

( lily collins, cis female, she/her. ) — jane harris has been a medina complex resident for three years, now. they’re twenty-three years old, and they tend to avoid making eye contact. sometimes when i walk by B06, i hear cherry-coloured funk by cocteau twins playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty effervescent, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re neurotic. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here.

repeatedly fixing the apartment number on the door when it swings down to a nine, a split moment of shadow after the radiance of laughter, carl sagan’s pale blue dot, a life of frequent minor accidents, constant hunger for balance overshadowed by emotional turbulence.

🇧🇦🇨🇰🇬🇷🇴🇺🇳🇩

TW ALCOHOLISM EMOTIONAL ABUSE DEPRESSION & ANXIETY !!!!! ok moving on

her parents met in art school in paris.. her mom is french and studied art history while her dad was an exchange student from california with a skewed artist mentality. it was that saccharine, toxic sort of love. her mom always felt like she needed to be the guardian angel in the relationship who would always hold him up when he was feeling down and he was feeling down….. a lot. because she was putting all that energy to save her relationship, she was drowning too but never enough to walk away. there was a lot of love there but it was twisted and uncomfortable at times

when they found out jane was on the way, it felt like they needed to suddenly grow up. her mom was ready to make changes, adapt to the new lifestyle. her dad, on the other hand, urged they rethink if this is what they want but he didn’t push for abortion.. he understood it was jane’s mothers choice to make and reassured that he would be there for the both of them no. matter. what.

but ??? the reality was he felt trapped by the idea of a child and he struggled to acknowledge and accept how quickly his life was flipping upside down and how he lost all control of it. he wanted to travel around europe ???? soak in nature, daydream and make art . but jane’s mom wanted to settle. instead of embarking on adventures after graduating, they decided to move to california.

things just seemed to fall apart like domino from then on. janes mom was lead astray.. thinking that what california would bring them was stability but instead, it was all chaos. they rushed to get married .. turned out janes father wasnt on good terms with his parents. he was irresponsible financially, put both his parents in huge debt, was blinded by his ego to ever realise his mistakes. lied constantly .. convincing janes mom that there’s light going forward. that once he finds a sponsor for his art .... once he sells his first piece ... once they see in him what he always saw in himself , he was going to make it right. and he reassured he would make it right for jane.

janes mom was so pathetically in love that she pushed through .. living in a sort of imagined world, believing that things were better than they actually were. and her dad was good at persuading that narrative. he would come home with a pocketful of cash and the bills paid. oftentimes, it was all an act. his art wasn’t selling and a lot of what he bragged about was borrowed or stolen. behind the curtain, he was absent and unmotivated. he would come home in the evening claiming that the whisky breath was celebratory but in reality, he was complaining to the barman two blocks away about how his life feels monotone .. like a french black and white movie.

the day of jane’s birth was a whole mess. her father decided to drive her mother to the hospital, knowing he had one too many. they were caught for speeding and while janes dad spent the night at a nearby station for driving under influence, her mom was at the back of a cop car, crying for one too many reasons .. jane decided to hang on for a little while longer and was born at 3am the following night. cradled in her mothers arms and her dads voice humming on the line

jane would only ever hear the romanticised version of this story from her mother. this ??? fucked up sense of security that no matter what, love conquers all. that love means supporting each other, loving each other extra when everything else falls apart. but truth is.. her mother was forced to give up her own dreams, lost all connections to her past, worked days and nights at a nursing home to support her family and pitch in to her husbands alcoholism while she’s at it. making excuses that jane was too young to contradict. all while the only source of happiness for her father was the haziness of his evenings, when he felt like floating and he could barely hold onto to his paintbrush. he was a stranger living in their basement .. more than he was ever a father

growing up, jane watched her mother mask her depression. carry empty bottles out from the basement, trying to hide it from jane .. it brought her shame. she was doing the same thing to jane that he was doing to her for all these years .. consistently expressing a certain attitude, this unwavering satisfaction for the life they are living and so ... it hardens. you start to believe it. except unlike her mother, jane was observant.. she had other lives around her to compare to her own, voices of reason that pierced through the skewed perception her mother drilled into her skull. when jane grew into her skin, she felt so ... disgusted and angry. she tried to pull her mother out of her fantasy but nothing worked.

through her high school years, she felt helpless .. her home life was a nightmare and she made every possible attempt to stay out of it for as long as possible. she took on jobs and extracurriculars .. stayed at her friends’ house until she couldn’t. and she would think.. think so hard, she would start crying. pushing her own problems away .. in her head, she would imagine herself in a different skin, a different place. it was the only way she could calm her breathing. only to have to battle the same thoughts the following morning

after graduating high school, jane went to community college for product management got a job offering after her placement at a big company and moved out shortly after ( and MOVED IN to medina... can i get a yee yee ) .. she got insurance for the first time in her life and eats too many of free pizza slices at work to save up on groceries every week <3

she doesn’t visit her parents bc she no longer feels like her mother is on her team. she’s lived a maddening and terribly draining life and living alone has brought her deserving peace.. although she’d rather keep contact with her mother to a minimum, its obvious that jane is her mothers anchor. if she feels as though her daughter is not fighting for her, she breaks down.. as much as jane wants to run away from her past, it always seems to catch up

if ur still reading literally who are u lafjdkl. ill be done schoon ..... oof

🇨🇭🇦🇷🇦🇨🇹🇪🇷 🇹🇷🇦🇮🇹🇸

if they are friends ... jane. will. talk. ur. ear. off. but probably not for the right reasons lol .. she has never been assessed by a professional, isn’t taking any treatment but she definitely needs it :( shes a chronic overthinker.. the voice in her head keeps chattering away most of the time which gets a little nauseating. she hates silence and feels like she needs to fill it with words. she often says the wrong things .. to the wrong people ... at the WRONG time and she is very aware of it. its the culprit for her self doubt and struggle to open up emotionally to the people shes close to. shes very critical towards herself, she micro analyses everything from the way she acts, the way she looks and what she says. shes also not a fan of confrontation !!!!!!!BUT!!!!!!!!!!!

she is a FIREBALL when she stands up for others. i dont know how she hasnt gotten into a physical fight yet. she would literally rip ur side mirror off ur car if u didnt wait for an old lady to cross the street. is intense in every possible way. if shes angry, shes angry and impulsive and out of control, when she is in love, she feels it in her bones and simultaneously wants to rip her hair out, when she’s passionate about something, she is persistent until she isn’t and when she loses motivation, everything feels bleak .. theres never any emotional balance, even though she fights so hard for it every day

likes sci fi movies .. literally when they are Floating in space ???? SIGN! JANE! THE! FUCK! UP! letterboxd is probably her favorite app. sometimes she will post a review, read it over and over, find something wrong with what she said and then delete it. shes very neurotic. she either has good days where she can comfortably be herself or bad days, when it feels like everyone is judging her every move when in reality. ... it is always .. all in her head.

and she is mostly in her head. she creates fantasies of her life, relationships platonic and romantic and as a result, nothing ever seems to measure up. she feels secure in her fantasies but oftentimes when it hits her that they are just that, fantasies, she ... feels really alone.

will trip over her own feet . has like 5 bruises from washing the dishes </3

she works as a part of a product design team in a big company.. probably has the knowledge to move up the tier but does not have the courage to stand up for herself . she doesnt believe in herself and is kind of a pessimist .......

got high one night and decided she wants to start an uber ....... only for women. but doesnt think its a good ide a (its a good idea. id like to think in 10 years time ... bitch made it)

really weird. likes eating broad beans and frozen strawberries .. will literally eat a lemon.

she will have different interests every week but never seems to be any good at anything ???????????? makes her sad.

claims tidying up with marie kondo changed her life LAKJDSKLDJ

*draws curtains* anybody else tired?

#mediocre.intro #»-.-°-ỽ-⸰-ｓｈｕｔ-ｕｒ-ｔｒａｐ-⸰-ỽ-°-.-«#4 hrs ago : yea ...... i could finish this intro in like 2 hours :) why not. whats gonna stop me ???? writing doesnt take that long.#it takes literally ?? 2 miliseconds. lol .......#im shtupid !!!!! have to take a shower. this is longer than all shakespeare plays combined.#if u read this im manifasting a good year for u.

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prolapsarian · 5 years

Text

Conversation with David Panos about The Searchers

The Searchers by David Panos is at Hollybush Gardens, 1-2 Warner Yard London EC1R 5EY, 12 January – 9 February 2019

There is something chattering. Alongside a triptych a small screen displays the rhythmic loop of hands typing, contorting, touching, holding. A movement in which the artifice strains between shuddering and juddering. Machinic GIFs seem to frame an event which may or may not have taken place. Their motions appear to combine an endless neurotic repetition and a totally adrenal pumped and pumping tension, anticipating confrontation.

JBR: How do the heavily stylised triptych of screens in ‘The Searchers’ relate to the GIF-like loops created out of conventionally-shot street footage? DP: I think of the three screens as something like the ‘unconscious’ of these nervous gestures. I’m interested in how video compositing can conjure up impossible or interior spaces, perhaps in a way similar to painting. Perhaps these semi-abstract images can somehow evoke how bodies are shot through with subterranean currents—the strange world of exchange and desire that lies under the surface of reality or physical experience. Of course abstractions don't really ‘inhabit’ bodies and you can’t depict metaphysics, but Paul Klee had this idea about an aesthetic ‘interworld’, that painting could somehow reveal invisible aspects of reality through poetic distortion. Digital video and especially 3D graphics tend to be the opposite of painting—highly regimented and sat within a very preset Euclidean space. I guess I’ve been trying to wrestle with how these programs can be misused to produce interesting images—how images of figures can be abstracted by them but retain some of their twitchy aliveness. JBR: This raises a question about the difference between the control of your media and the situation of total control in contemporary cinematic image making. DP: Under the new regimes of video making, the software often feels like it controls you. Early analogue video art was a sensuous space of flows and currents, and artists like the Vasulkas were able to build their own video cameras and mixers to allow them to create whole new images—in effect new ways of seeing. Today that kind of utopian or avant-garde idea that video can make surprising new orders of images is dead—it’s almost impossible for artists to open up a complex program like Cinema 4D and make it do something else. Those softwares were produced through huge capital investment funding hundreds of developers. But I’m still interested in engaging with digital and 3D video, trying to wrestle with it to try and get it to do something interesting—I guess because the way that it pictures the world says something about the world at the moment—and somehow it feels that one needs to work in relation to the heightened state of commodification and abstraction these programs represent. So I try and misuse the software or do things by hand as much as possible, and rather than programming and rendering I manipulate things in real time. JBR: So in some way the collective and divided labour that goes into producing the latest cinematic commodities also has a doubled effect: firstly technique is revealed as the opposite of some kind of freedom, and at the same time this has an effect both on how the cinematic object is treated and how it appears. To be represented objects have to be surrounded by the new 3D capture technology, and at the same time it laminates the images in a reflected glossiness that bespeaks both the technology and the disappearance of the labour that has gone into creating it. DP: I’m definitely interested in the images produced by the newest image technologies—especially as they go beyond lens-based capture. One of the screens in the triptych uses volumetric capturing— basically 3D scanning for moving image. The ‘camera’ perspective we experience as the viewer is non-existent, and as we travel into these virtual, impossible perspectives it creates the effect of these hollowed out, corroded bodies. This connects to a recurring motif of ‘hollowing out’ that appears in the video and sculpture I’ve been making recently. And I have a recurring obsession with the hollowing out of reality caused by the new regime of commodities whose production has become cut to the bone, so emptied of their material integrity that they’re almost just symbols of themselves. So in my show ‘The Dark Pool’ (Hollybush Gardens, 2014) I made sculptural assemblages with Ikea tables and shelves, which when you cut them open are hollow and papery. Or in ‘Time Crystals’ (Pumphouse Gallery, 2017) I worked with clothes made in the image of the past from Primark and H&M that are so low-grade that they can barely stand washing. We are increasingly surrounded by objects, all of which have—through contemporary processes of hyper-rationalisation and production—been slowly emptied of material quality. Yet they have the resemblance of luxury or historical goods. This is a real kind of spectral reality we inhabit. I wonder to myself about how the unconscious might haunt us in these days when commodities have become hollow. Might it be like Benjamin’s notion of the optical unconscious, in which through the photographic still the everyday is brought into a new focus, not in order to see what is behind the veil of semblance, but to see—and reclaim for art—the veiling in a newly-won clarity. DP: Yes, I see these new technologies as similar, but am interested in how they don't just change impact perception but also movement. The veiled moving figures in ‘The Searchers' are a strange byproduct of digital video compositing. I was looking to produce highly abstract linear depictions of bodies reduced to fleshy lines, similar to those in the show and I discovered that the best way to create these abstract images was to cover the face and hands of performers when you film them to hide the obvious silhouettes of hands and faces. But asking performers to do this inadvertently produced a very peculiar movement—the strange veiled choreography that you see in the show. I found this footage of the covered performers (which was supposed to be a stepping stone to a more digitally mediated image, and never actually seen) really suggestive— the dancers seem to be seeking out different temporary forms and they have a curious classical or religious quality or sometimes evoke a contemporary state of emergency. Or they just look like absurd ghosts. JBR: In the last hundred years, when people have talked about ghosts the one thing they don’t want to think about is how children consider ghosts, as figures covered in a white sheet, in a stupid tangible way. Ghosts—as traumatic memories—have become more serious and less playful. Ghosts mean dwelling on the unfinished business of the past, or apprehending some shard of history left unredeemed that now revisits us. Not only has no one been allowed to be a child with regard to ghosts, but also ghosts are not for materialists either. All the white sheets are banished. One of the things about Marx when he talks about phantoms—or at least phantasmagorias—is much closer to thinking about, well, pieces of linen and how you clothe someone, and what happens with a coat worked up out of once living, now dead labour that seems more animate than the human who wears it. DP: Yes, I’ve been very interested in Marx’s phantasmagorias. I reprinted Keston Sutherland’s brilliant essay on how Marx uses the term ‘Gallerte’ or ‘gelatine’ to describe abstract labour for a recent show. Sutherland highlights a vitalism in Marx’s metaphysics that I’m very drawn to. For the last few years I’ve been working primarily with dancers and physical performers and trying to somehow make work about the weird fleshy world of objects and how they’re shot through with frozen labour. I love how he describes the ‘wooden brain’ of the table as commodity and how he describes it ‘dancing’—I always wanted to make an animatronic dancing table. JBR: There is also a sort of joyfulness about that. The phantasmagoria isn’t just scary but childish. Of course you are haunted by commodities, of course they are terrifying, of course they are worked up out of the suffering and collective labour of a billion bodies working both in concert and yet alienated from each other. People’s worked up death is made into value, and they all have unfinished business. But commodities are also funny and they bumble around; you find them in your house and play with them. DP: Well my last body of work was all about dancing and how fashion commodities are bound up with joy and memory, but this show has come out much bleaker. It’s about how bodies are searching out something else in a time of crisis. It’s ended up reflecting a sense of lack and longing and general feeling of anxiety in the air. That said I am always drawn to images that are quite bright, colourful and ‘pop’ and maybe a bit banal—everyday moments of dead time and secret gestures. JBR: Yes, but they are not so banal. In dealing with tangible everyday things we are close to time and motion studies, but not just in terms of the stupid questions they ask of how people work efficiently. Rather this raises questions of what sort of material should be used so that something slips or doesn’t slip—or how things move with each other or against each other—what we end up doing with our bodies or what we end up putting on our bodies. Your view into this is very sympathetic: much art dealing in cut-up bodies appears more violent, whereas the ruins of your abstractions in the stylised triptych seem almost caring. DP: Well I’m glad you say that. Although this show is quite dark I also have a bit of a problem with a strain of nihilist melancholy that pervades a lot of art at the moment. It gives off a sense of being subsumed by capitalism and modern technology and seeing no way out. I hope my work always has a certain tension or energy that points to another possible world. But I’m not interested in making academic statements with the work about theory or politics. I want it to gesture in a much more intuitive, rhythmic, formal way like music. I had always made music and a few years back started to realise that I needed to make video with the same sense of formal freedom. The big change in my practice was to move from making images using cinematic language to working with simultaneous registers of images on multiple screens that produce rhythmic or affective structures and can propose without text or language. JBR: The presentation of these works relies on an intervention into the time of the video. If there is a haunting here its power appears in the doubled domain of repetition, which points both backwards towards a past that must be compulsively revisited, and forwards in convulsive anticipatory energy. The presentation of the show troubles cinematic time, in which not only is linear time replaced by cycles, but also new types of simultaneity within the cinematic reality can be established between loops of different velocities. DP: Film theorists talk about the way ‘post-cinematic’ contemporary blockbusters are made from images knitted together out of a mixture of live action, green-screen work, and 3D animation. I’ve been thinking how my recent work tries to explode that—keep each element separate but simultaneous. So I use ‘live’ images, green-screened compositing and CGI across a show but never brought together into a naturalised image—sort of like a Brechtian approach to post-cinema. The show is somehow an exploded frame of a contemporary film with each layer somehow indicating different levels of lived abstractions, each abstraction peeling back the surface further. JBR: This raises crucial questions of order, and the notion that abstraction is something that ‘comes after’ reality, or is applied to reality, rather than being primary to its production. DP: Yes good point. I think that’s why I’m interested in multiple screens visible simultaneously. The linear time of conventional editing is always about unveiling whereas in the show everything is available at the same time on the same level to some extent. This kind of multi-screen, multi-layered approach to me is an attempt at contemporary ‘realism’ in our times of high abstraction. That said it’s strange to me that so many artworks and games using CGI these days end up echoing a kind of ‘naturalist’ realist pictorialism from the early 19th Century—because that’s what is given in the software engines and in the gaming-post-cinema complex they’re trying to reference. Everything is perfectly in perspective and figures and landscapes are designed to be at least pseudo ‘realistic’. I guess that’s why you hear people talking about the digital sublime or see art that explores the Romanticism of these ‘gaming’ images. JBR: But the effort to make a naturalistic picture is—as it was in the 19th century—already not the same as realism. Realism should never just mean realistic representation, but instead the incursion of reality into the work. For the realists of the mid-19th century that meant a preoccupation with motivations and material forces. But today it is even more clear that any type of naturalism in the work can only serve to mask similar preoccupations, allowing work to screen itself off from reality. DP: In terms of an anti-naturalism I’m also interested in the pictorial space of medieval painting that breaks the laws of perspective or post-war painting that hovered between figuration and abstraction. I recently returned to Francis Bacon who I was the first artist I was into when I was a teenage goth and who I’d written off as an adolescent obsession. But revisiting Bacon I realised that my work is highly influenced by him, and reflects the same desire to capture human energy in a concentrated, abstracted way. I want to use ‘cold’ digital abstraction to create a heightened sense of the physical but not in the same way as motion capture which always seems to smooth off and denature movement. So the graph-like image in the centre of the triptych (Les Fantômes) in this show twitches with the physicality of a human body in a very subtle but palpable way. It looks like CGI but isn’t and has this concentrated human life force rippling through it.

If in this space and time of loops of the exploded unstill still, we find ourselves again stuck in this shuddering and juddering, I can’t help but ask what its gesture really is. How does the past it holds gesture towards the future? And what does this mean for our reality and interventions into it. JBR: The green-screen video is very cold. The ruined 3D version is very tender. DP: That's funny you say that. People always associate ‘dirty’ or ‘poor’ images with warmth and find my green-screen images very cold. But in the green-screened video these bodies are performing a very tender dance—searching out each other, trying to connect, but also trying to become objects, or having to constantly reconfigure themselves and never settling. JBR: And yet with this you have a certain conceit built into the drapes you use: one that is in a totally reflective drape, and one in a drape that is slightly too close to the colour of the greenscreen background. Even within these thin props there seems to be something like a psychological description or diagnosis. And as much as there is an attempt to conjoin two bodies in a mutual darkness, each seems thrown back by its own especially modern stigma. The two figures seem to portray the incompatibility of the two poles established by veiled forms of the world of commodities: one is hidden by a veil that only reflects back to the viewer, disappearing behind what can only be the viewer’s own narcissism and their gratification in themselves, which they have mistaken for interest in an object or a person, while the other clumsily shows itself at the very moment that it might want to seem camouflaged against a background that is already designed to disappear. It forces you to recognise the object or person that seems to want to become inconspicuous. And stashed in that incompatibility of how we find ourselves cloaked or clothed is a certain unhappiness. This is not a happy show. Or at least it is a gesturally unsettled and unsettling one. DP: I was consciously thinking of the theories of gesture that emerged during the crisis years of the early 20th century. The impact of the economic and political on bodies. And I wanted the work to reflect this sense of crisis. But a lot of the melancholy in the show is personal. It's been a hard year. But to be honest I’m not that aligned to those who feel that the current moment is the worst of all possible times. There’s a left/liberal hysteria about the current moment (perhaps the same hysteria that is fuelling the rise of right-wing populist ideas) that somehow nothing could be worse than now, that everything is simply terrible. But I feel that this moment is a moment of contestation, which is tough but at least means having arguments about the way the world should be, which seems better than the strange technocratic slumber of the past 25 years. Austerity has been horrifying and I realise that I’ve been relatively shielded from its effects, but the sight of the post-political elites being ejected from the stage of history is hopeful to me, and people seem to forget that the feeling of the rise of the right has been also met with a much broader audience for the left or more left-wing ideas than have been previously allowed to impact public discussion. That said, I do think we’re experiencing the dog-end of a long-term economic decline and this sense of emptying out is producing phantasms and horrors and creating a sense of palpable dread. I started to feel that the images I was making for ‘The Searchers’ engaged with this. David Panos (b. 1971 in Athens, Greece) lives and works in London, UK. A selection of solo and group exhibitions include Pumphouse Gallery, Wandsworth, London, 2017 (solo); Sculpture on Screen. The Very Impress of the Object, Gulbenkian Museum, Lisbon, Portugal [Kirschner & Panos], 2017; Nemocentric, Charim Galerie, Vienna, 2016; Atlas [De Las Ruinas] De Europa, Centro Centro, Madrid, 2016; The Dark Pool, Albert Baronian, Brussels, (solo), 2015; The Dark Pool, Galeria Marta Cervera, Madrid, 2015; Whose Subject Am I?, Kunstverein Fur Die Rheinlande Und Westfalen, Düsseldorf, 2015; The Dark Pool, Hollybush Gardens, London, (solo), 2014; A Machine Needs Instructions as a Garden Needs Discipline, MARCO Vigo, 2014; Ultimate Substance, B3 Biennale des bewegten Blides, Nassauischer Kunstverein, Wiesbaden, (Kirschner & Panos solo), 2013; Ultimate Substance, CentrePasquArt, Biel, (Kirschner & Panos solo), 2013; Ultimate Substance, Extra City, Antwerp, (Kirschner & Panos solo), 2013; The Magic of the State, Lisson Gallery, London, 2013; HELL AS, Palais de Tokyo, Paris, 2013.

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castlehead · 6 years

Text

:a Not which one is right but which one is more like you Let's start now // this is a few makeshifts on the deity,

dint realize y i was gettin poor marks in college till i realized comic sans wasnt mla format for essays, but i kept on with it bc im anti establishment and my dope ass literary insights should speak for themselves.

my 'experimentation' as one nonplussed professor put it, with the font, progressively got crazier, and in the end i was doin all caps zapf wingdings mized wih herculanum

needless to say, i got my degree.. IN BEIN A BOSS.

na but yeah i got kicked out of that school. still bummin on campus actually, and probably psychotic from this ecstasy i keep taking. this guy in f comp makes his own, has a pill press nd everything.

the shoes i original got as a college present from my parents got stolen, or in any case i woke up in a snow drift next to the commons dumpster without them on, so i just wear slippers. my toes are purple. ther always feels like there is something in my teeth or throat i cannot dislodge. i am the campus transient, avoiding th. RAs and ignoring the eviction notices. like raping the willing, one cannot be evicted if one is homeless. with the help of a few friends i sold drugs to when my rents still gave me money and i was still enrolled, i alternate between various dormitory hovels, hiding out from the campus police like some ghastly dysfunctional version of anne frank.

i havent taken my pills and smell. i emaciate my already rejected body, rejected by the establishment goons, with cocaine, and remind myself of the leftover chicken carcass and neatly lined bones whose tomb was a disgusting box of dominos buffalo wings i ordred and consumed my first semester here and that remained in the same place until i abandoned that radioactive dormroom to die slowly and painfully, and metaphorically, since living quarters do not possess life. i am starting tho to wonder if i myself possess that as well or if i did once and now am but a structure, a part of the collegiate landscape, sniffed at by diligent students and attempted to get thru to by intellectual slackers, decadent addicts themselves on their way to where i am, and wooks who need someone to smoke with on a sunday 4 am and know i always keep track of what festis are goin on on campus; i receive the next round of empathy from a new stranger who maybe heard of me or has seen me around and wondered what i was still doing here.

empathy, empathy, curiosity as to the quirky insane dude fried by mdma and a shitload of adderall for no purpose bc i have no practical skills. a monotony of empathy ripping off and using for the metaphorical shit on my metaphorical ass, like swquares of toilet paper who fancy me a hobo poet in need of on top of text books i never opened, on a desk i used as a trash receptacle. and speaking of wings, i think i might be literally going into a dissociative state because all the leaves on the trees look like zapf wingdings. my clavicle is not only visible but sticks out of my body further than my chest does.

watch out for hell day today, for something godlier than god. i deliver it.

The effect I wish to give, as it always has been, is that of a truth clearly viewed, in utter horror. Gods factotum, shuffling thru abandoned files that sometime held a secret forgotten, tho no less true now, and the horror perhaps, that we forgot something so crucially, fundamentally true, and so long ago.

this work is twisted, sad, manic, strange, fluid, stilted, inappropriate, foolish, magnificent.

if god doesnt exist, neither does the version of myself with dreadlocks

. . . . . . .

one has no choice in the end but to resign oneself, and drop their head. and yet, where do they look, if one in shrinking away for the purpose of humbling hisself afore the god of anxiety, and receiving his respite, knows nothing more than but to resign? where is the clarity here? there is no clarity 'here'. it is there, and come upon in moments of fear and trembling at the dread chaos, the doubt in a heart and split in a mind.

it is there, for one is staring at the ground, awaiting an end to the necessary aversion from the sight of a higher morsel of GOD.

. . . . . . .

atheism should not be an opinion it is not the result of not believing in god it is simply living life without a thought as to a religious god. we are not reacting to religion we are IN reality just as the catholic is IN reality. saying "I don't believe in god" is like equating nothingness to a lack of everything. there is no reactive state to atheism at its purest. it is not an acknowledgment, in other words, of no god, but an acknowledgment of what is before one's eyes, this vast neutral space I defy you to say is different from the religious folks' apprehension of objects and desires, all before them, swimming in ghostly revelry or not, only figurations anyway. o this insanely divided world.

i have a secular conception of god based on my teleological hypotheses re the nature of a causa prima, causa sui. it's the definitions that need defining, not the thing with a name on it that needs explaining. physics already does that.

remove intent for the case of nihilism, and you will have what i am saying here. no case at all. no 'response' so to speak. atheism can be evangelical

im not an evangelical atheist because what i believe changes based on the day but is always just as real haha. belief is tenuous. i go by that

it's the definitions that need defining, not the thing that needs explaining.

my conception of god is that it is the only thing that does not exist. so in a way, yes, i am an atheist.

'God' as defined in its easiest terms, is an ultimate uniquity. like, an outstanding substance. anyway, idk. at the end of the day idk haha

Kant's own a priori notional form of perception comes to mind. in front of our eyes is what is real. the observer initiates the ocular nerve, and the thing or situation burns into the receiving blankness of the mind.

like, have we reaped all the possible benefits of fire by now? surely the wails of prometheus fall not on deaf ears!

. . . . . . .

twisted, sad, manic, strange, fluid, stilted, inappropriate, foolish, magnificent.

. . . . . . .

green tortilla chips my ass. he said with no attempt at disguising incredulity, wiping the tears from his brow.

. . . . . . .

whereas god is all, i am only myself, knowledgeable of only myself; therefore, unless god is simultaneously aware of being myself alone along with being everything, and of that everything knowledgeable of each and every thing as if god were only that thing, i am then let in on an experience of individuality that god is unaware of.

this is a question of how to be the most purely omniscient, omnipotent, etc. that is the question that our conception of god is asking.

corollary: if in the case of being simultaneously the experience i have of myself, and being all, then it is quite logical to say that our experience in life is in fact a godly experience, since i, too, would be unaware of being all, as goes the route of any human perception of things.

when i say i am only aware of myself i mean it in ontological terms, fyi -and also in, i will admit, somewhat absolutist terms. of course as people, psychologically, we can put ourselves in another's shoes, step outside of our comfort zone, change an opinion [or five] and every person is an environmental sponge -we can adopt varying personality traits from the culture we is born into etc. -this argument presupposes an absolute view, kinda,- in that, IF this were how it went, it wld go such nd such -this statement of mine does not examine a phenomenological or spiritual connection between people but examines the relativity and possible logical gaps in -the idea, or notion if you prefer- of omniscience.- there is only theory haha <#

we create our gods but they exist as much as we do

. . . . . . .

turn your back, find yourself faceless, at least, to someone.

. . . . . . .

wondering if I got a problm w. th prostate bc sometimes when I feel a shit coming I piss n it goes away. Don't change much re bathroom routine tho since I already sit down wen I pee in the first place, and according to my second ex wife this means I am a lazy fat whore

interested in the concept of the devout as being the truest sceptics.

. . . . . . .

Thought has the coherence of being but is not being, i.e. beginning and ending in our living heads as something not itself alive, but a mere transfer of connection willed consciously to create that inert unbreathing grand called the magnificent bullshit, the idea.

the quiet horror of the mundane dailyness.

. . . . . . .

i think something elitist and say within, Well that was elitist wasnt it, dan. then pat myself on the back at my ability to check my arrogance, specifically when i see the thought thru the lens of something a cousin of mine with generally liberal views and empathy who fishes in alaska for money and lives off the grid would remark to himself. then, i get slightly nauseated after mentally leafing thru all the times i have been proud of mentally criticizing myself for something in the first place outwardly bad. and there goes on the circular drudge of ugliness, not evaded outright, but felt the pangs of guilt in the says within, that say me again and again in my inertial brood, of void i would hope, of searching for clarity i wish, but that is probably more like a moralizing, limited gauge, like feeling better about something ugly that is yr fault by feeling bad about it for a little so you can get that part over with without the possibility of another harder wave of guilt for not feeling bad at all about the ugly thing, and therewith reacting with doubts to doubtful reactions, until yr whole value system is a wilderness of mirrors.

. . . . . . .

im a perfectionist when it comes to sensation. the beautiful feeling must be experienced in the proper setting that would maximize its potential. i think this is y i used to do lots of drugs, which by nature are the commodification of sensations. probably also y i was super miserable doing them and kept doing them despite that. there is a certain ring of the hoarder or magpie in this perfectionism that wants to connect physicality with ego that i see as well in the idea of paying money to literally feel specific sensations; equally, the result of this on the psyche is as tenuous here as with the futile idea of thinking the perfect setting for doing drugs is always at hand, which it rarely is, or at the least there is something to mar the perfect dream, that dragon, that pursuit of happiness, life, and liberty via thinking on how best situate the chains to, in essence, 'maximize' your mobility, but nathless remaining held in doom. the drug world, uh, is itself volatile; perfectionism and volatility dont jive so well, usually. and so on. hm. hegh.

heh.

. . . . . . .

I only like Eminem rap and that one NWA song like hell naw the rest is garbage now let me go back to my trailer in the woods where I live in harmony with the Elves who have seemed to appear more frequently now that I have that bathtub meth dungeon set up in my basement where skynerd plays ceaselessly from an unlocatable place. My hero is Ed Gein. But I don't do the lampshade thing. I do however have a human skull I bought from my buddy who owns a war relics and parephernalia shop, he had to go in the back to get it and lock the store so nobodys would come snoop. Turns out some folks comed snoop to see if he figured any more available and he got mad at me for blabbing, an I said, Giles, ya know I ain't blabbing, but he dint believe it, an now we just kinder avoid each other at the local NA meetin. People tryn cop there and some do and theys go behind the water tower tagitit, I int do that part tho, a tad fucked up I mean, these people try n getting clean an all, why make it harder n it eyis? But if y'all wanit I get it tiya, come by and share a chaw almighty God. Gib ye a gude price too. *PATOOEY* I. Uh am sober myself. 20 yrs. but damn ye ye make a buck more n working garbage detail selling home cooked meth I reckon ye. Don't touch the stuff I don't anymore after I heard this queer fella from out a town got his arm chopped off when he mainlined eyit. Tryn I guess do some sex stuff and a days travel from the city. City folk don't know it's diffeRent strength down here's doe. I reckon. *MEDITATIVE PATOOEY* yes sirn. Huhm.

. . . . . . .

The thing abt the Sex Pistols is, tho they engineered the punk genre immeasurably, they seem to no longer be in the cultural conversation, except within factions of grey haired aficionados. Even the more radio friendly The Clash seems notably absent in this regard. Has punk developed beyond its early stages, or is punk, being the genre that it is, dependent on whatever the moments youth zeitgeist is? punk is visceral because it is held in time this way. first gen punk, cbgbs headliners of ago and ago, do not exert these days the same walbreaking feel, bc I think there's so much virtuosic music being made today that the path of what will develop is harder to determine. Musicians in throes break down walls without batting an eye. Any musical iconoclasm expressed in the music of the past, then, especially to the contemporary ear, is bound to seem bathetic. Like microaggressions as expressions of racism, our society's opening of mind leads to a closed mind, as one can justify not being racist by simply saying they do not think they are better than marginalized peoples, have never done anything racist, think we are all equal, are not clansmen lol. what ruffles feathers is less obvious, in turn, bc expressions of the ersatz new and the real new are harder and harder to determine. The surplus of media, ideas, and opinions, I think, will lead us to a place where "cultural norm" becomes an oxymoron, hopefully. But then, what else will be left to invigorate, if so much is already so much done out, already? Does there exist a perspective, artistic or no, that is not liable to become passé? Or even some thought never thought before? I know there is, I for one know there is, because as a poet I see much to fix, and much that I work to do bc I see it nowhere else; and this most crucially is not an impression of mine based on today's lit but every days lit there has ever been, throughout history. Just I can literally not even yo, yo

. . . . . . .

Mathsmatics can transcend thru the grandeur of its implications but not thru the means towards said implications; philo can do the same, but it's better penchant is for transcending thru means to electrify a mundane conclusion or give a system of reason to a general thought-trope such as, "reality is an illusion" or whichever flat idea u prefer to follow. Since it is pure logos, philo differs from math in being more readily universal; tho the applications of math are more readilly useful than the positives that come with mental clarity at the understanding an achieved unified system. Poetry is all means, so then must dazzle, and needs no evidence, conclusion, or even subject, but need only sway with beauty. Therein is the problem with the existential issue of selfhood. Reductive analysis of self becomes psych, and the only pure philo to be had in selfhoods exegesis is not to be found in anything like a system of proofs or syllogisms, etc. selfhood, as Kierkegaard recognized, is poetic bc it exacerbates reality, exhausts all of it. it is individual, and so copious a thing has no one forged path to what it is, or even any path at all, to what it is, since like Pascals God the self is a circle whose point is everywhere and circumference nowhere. Figuring out a reality via a teleology or thru logic is nicer to attempts at systems. But individual self is too mucky for any proof to say it exists; the murkiness shines, as it always does, when the means are prevalent, since the means, being held moment to moment, rely on nothing but expose a variety of paths to more variety. Philo then is better at least than Math for finding out something obfuscated, but nothing but poetry can so deeply probe the self, as its humility is lain in the respect for a complete dissembling of systems.

. . . . . . .

the iconic ny jewish deli sandwich is in essence a robust mountain of roast beef held feebly between two unnecessary pieces of sad, chickenshit marble rye

the roast beef, of course, wld be kosher.

I create; I waste. Yet nothing is perfect, nothing, nothing. Not even dignity.

#prose #collage #frammenti #zibaldone #makeshift #god #god n stuff #prowse #writing

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survivor-iceland · 4 years

Text

Ep. 10 - “[SCREAMS]” - Dylan C

Dylan C

/FIRST/ EOE CHALLENGE???

Raffy

I'm kind of sad that I knew that they wouldn't have kept me regardless of what I said. So, I don't want to work with these people, but I have to put my best foot forward.

Maynor

Well things didnt go according to plan. But atleast i told Raffy that i was considering Keeping after me and Dylan started talking. Atleast my core groupd Me Timmy Joseph and Stephen are still intact. Dylan is still on our side. Maybe something with Raffy. And Jack is a wild card. All i want is to make it to the end and im going to play my ass off. ❤️Jay.

Raffy

Jack is immediately latching on to me. I think I can get him on my side which means I need 1 more person to tie. Or at least, I need those 4 to survive this next round so that we have majority at F7 against Timmy, Maynor, and Jack. It probably has to be Dylan because Joseph would not trust him. In fact, I think I want Joseph to go this round more than anything else.

Jack

Okay, i came back in being like REVENGE MAYBE and now im like damn Stephen's pretty chill. Dylan and Joseph seem like maybe they'd go along with a vote with me, and Raffy and Ellie seem tight and like they'd come with. I'm probably being dumb and imma be voted out but I've got a thought about getting out either Maynor or Timmy. Thing about Maynor is that he Stephen seem tight (?) so idk how'd he got for that, and no offense Timmy, but the only thing i've heard about him is HE FLIPPED ON THE VOTE BRO. So like idk if imma trust that. Me and Raffy seem tight and like an alliance with him and Ellie, and maybe pull Dylan and or Joseph. Also maybe vote him or Maynor or Timmy out like that. But also make him think i'm working with him. And also maybe secretly actually work with him? Or maybe voting out joseph or dylan. It all depends on who wins the immunity (which Jay is still deciding) but yeah. Also Rafy hates Joseph and im like but i wanna maybe use him

Jack

Chatted with Ellie tonight, reaffirmed the her me and raffy thing, and like set out maybe her reaching out to joseph and dylan about a plan to vote for either timmy or stephen (im leaning towards timmy cause honestly i like stephen more and think that down the line we could work together you know?) I also proposed a thing where Ellie and I both separately go to stephen (i already kinda been doing that) and be like "woe is me whatever shall i do i totally dont wanna work with raffy, who do YOU wanna vote for" and hopefully from that shell tell me if they're gunning for me *cough idol* Hopefully my very nice and perfect on paper plan works out, but also like hopefully anything but me going out happens so yeah. Also is it bad that i'm mostly leaning towards timmy cause hes like not tlaked to me much at all and i dont know the guy?

Raffy

Maynor winning immunity is a huge bummer, but I have to somehow gather the votes to keep myself in this game. I was probably so close to winning, but I'm just depressed now. Hopefully the groundwork I laid out last round comes to fruition.

Raffy

Joseph tends to do this thing where he gives you unsolicited advice about how you should play your game. It's the most annoying thing because I a) did not ask and b) do not need it. I know he's trying to help, but it gets annoying with every time he does it. It gets my blood boiling.

Also, I asked Joseph if he'd be willing to vote out either Stephen or Timmy because Maynor/Stephen/Timmy are a strong alliance. He says he can't which makes me feel two different things. They are all in a four person alliance together, or Joseph is a coward that can't do anything for himself. He latches onto people like a parasite, and he is slowly eating more and more hay, becoming more and more of a goat. And I don't think he realizes it which is the funny thing. So, in essence, I don't need the advice from a goat. His reasoning was the he cant vote against a strong alliance, but that's exactly why you should vote against them. Nonetheless, someone is at the bottom and not all four of them are making it to FTC. So, we'll see how that attitude pays off for him (Spoiler: It won't).

Maynor

I am so happy i got to win immunity. 3 pet stores and pets of friends, i got it. Which is nice since my last immunity win was for nothing. This round could be tricky. Like everyone can still agree to talk out Raffy which I want because he is a very dangerous player. I just hope that the target doesnt land on Timmy. He’s the only one that I trust 100% + more.

Raff

Joseph is bad at this game. He is always giving me unsolicited advice about how I should play my game when he is the one who is a goat. If anyone takes him to the end, he's going to lose because in no world does he win with his group consensus attitude. He's not making big moves. He's being a sheep. So, if he thinks he's playing a "good" game, then good for his self-esteem. But, at the end of the way, it doesn't matter what he thinks. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of his own game cause I’m going to be on the jury. So if he makes FTC (which is a hard IF) then it’ll be my perception that matters, not his. So we’ll see who has the last laugh in the end.

Dylan is ignoring me which is a terrible thing to do. Ignoring someone has the same effect as telling someone that you are voting for them. Except, for me, it's worse because it's a bad social game because instead of having decency and telling someone the truth, you are making them an outcast and making them feel like they are less than. So, good on Dylan for having a bad social game, but I doubt they ever had a good one in the first place. Within this single round, people are losing my jury vote which might bite them in ass later down the line, but I'm reveling in it.

Raffy

Jack wants to make a move against Timmy in order to lessen Maynor's stranglehold on the game. So, I told Maynor and Timmy all of this with a plan to tell Stephen later in the day. I'm sorry to Jack, but I have to do something to preserve my game, even if that means getting rid of a guaranteed number on my side. As a bottom feeder, you do what you can to survive. This has to be the move right now. Maybe next round, if I win immunity, I can regain control of this game, but I have no control right now.

Ellie

So I just now realized that I probably look like a fucking goat to everyone, and I’m not here for that. This round Raffy wants to get Jack out and we could definitely pull that off buttttt what if we got Raffy out? I don’t want him to go but if he doesn’t go this round it’ll probably be next. Idk what I’m gonna do, I’ve been playing it safe for too long, but idk if I should make my move YET.

Ellie

Yeah I made up my mind. It has to be jack

Raffy

Dylan came to me willing to vote out Stephen. I don't know how well I can trust that, especially after these last two rounds. They said they'd be willing to go to rocks, but that is not something that's making me trust them at all. This could be a game-defining move, but I just am not sure if I can trust it. I have a lot to decide in these next 5 hours.

Raffy

Time to be a crackhead again and vote for Stephen. Dylan seems to be down for a Stephen vote, but I am not too sure. All this game talk is making me crazy. It'd be a 4-4 vote, and I feel like we could convince Joseph or Timmy to flip and not go to rocks. We need this to work or our games are tanked

Dylan C

Me? Consistently voting with the same people each round? It’s less likely than you think

Jack

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Dylan's on board with voting Stephen tonight (kinda sucks cause id have rather gone timmy but aye thats how it goes) and hopefully Josephs on board too when he logs in. That or Raffy and Ellie and Dylan are all fucking with me and in kahoots with Stephen and actually voting me, but imma try and (o god) /trust/ them. Hopefully i won't go home with an idol in my pocket. also those "I just wrote a confessional" messages are both reassuring and SO SUS

Maynor

So right now the two names for the vote our Timmy and jack. And of course im do not want Timmy going. It looks like everyone is down to vote for Jack. And Kinda nervous that Jack might have something from EOE. Im hoping there isnt a blindside and Timmy goes. Would be a dumn move on Stephen and Joseph because the other side have already shown they would write their names down so it would be smart to stick with the Blindside Central alliance till like F6. Just hoping everything goes well tonight.

Ellie

VOTE SWITCH BITCH OMFG FIRST SEASON ELLIE COULD NEVER, LOOK AT THE RAFFY AND ELLIE POWER DUO GO

Stephen

Im wondering if I’m going home, Jack coming back is intense, and for some reason he might not like me? Whatever. I’m only worried cause people are quiet, im worried that now john and zoe are gone timmy and maynor might ally with dylan ellie and maybe even raffy. Idk, I’m worried

Joseph Collins

I have been approached with a plan. A plan so crazy it just might work. Apparently jack, raffy, Ellie, and Dylan want to blindside Timmy. I feel like it’s a ploy. And they want me to vote Timmy whilst all 4 of them vote for me. I can’t trust any of them

Jack

So Raffy was worried about Joseph leaking our vote to maynor/stephen/timmy so even tho Ellie, Raffy, Dylan, and I are all going Stephen were telling Joseph Timmy. And rn i am thinking its a good plan cause Joseph is being sus with his looking at my message, not responding, but then going over to tribal chat and being there. Like any sort of plausible deniability is out the window lmao. If it ends up ends up being 4 raffy v 4 stephen and a revote im p sure joseph would flip rather than go to rocks. Hopefully tho this isn't all the reality of my previously justified paranoia again, and this time round everyones not legit out to get me lol

Jack

Josephs being real weird and basically said like if i dont vote raffy imma be the one going and like hmmmmmm but also like i think i trust dylan to vote with us, but idk. Like idk imma stick with our plan and not play my idol and porrbably go home cause fuck me but yeah WOOOOOOOW

Stephen

So, heres the problem. Lets say that everyone except Jack is voting Jack, and he has an idol/advantage. Whoever he votes for goes home. But if I vote Raffy that ties up his vote. However, if I do that and Jack has allied with Raffy Ellie and Dylan, then the vote is 4-3-1 and they choose who goes home. This... this is a really tough call.

Timmy

I'm freaking the fuck out. Like I don't want to go and it is a big concern that it is a possibility. I want to trust people but the only one I truly trust is Maynor. I mean also, Stephen and Joseph but not in the same way obviously. I just don't want to get voted out, especially with an idol. Jack is an easy vote, but people don't do things easily in this game. I just think it's the right move and I'm playing my idol if Jack uses as idol or advantage.

Dylan C

Right now the plan is, afaik, to have four people (Raffy, Ellie, Jack, and myself) vote Stephen, tell Joseph it's Timmy in case he leaks to Maynor/Timmy/Stephen and one of them has an idol, and then the idol will get played on Timmy if one gets played. In theory. We'll see how that goes. Joseph is trying to get me to vote Jack this round, because he doesn't want to vote Timmy, and I'm trying to, well I don't know what I'm trying to convince him off. I told him I'm not voting Jack this round, which is true, but I never told him who I'm really voting for. Who in this game haven't I lied through my teeth to at some point, honestly. Watch me get to the end but trash my social game in the process smh. Jk, I don't see myself getting to F2/F3 (whatever it is). But the point still stands. I could say I have a closest ally in this game, but that'd be another fucking lie. I've voted with different people at different points and haven't had a solid loyalty to Anyone. Agreed w/Joseph on his F2 comments for instance, but I'm not 100% solid with him. (Though, according to Raffy, Joseph is in some alliance with Maynor, Stephen, and Timmy that he's uber loyal to. Good for him lol. Can't relate.) If I have any strategy at this point it's just: play the middle and go after the strongest people/biggest threats. Be a big girl and don't die, and all that. (That's a podcast reference.) So, that's why I don't wanna vote Raffy or Jack, yet. Even with the threat of someone they'd work with coming back from EoE, I'd rather work w/them and have them stick around and target someone like Maynor, Stephen, or Timmy who are strong, worked in orchestrating two blindsides, and one of them likely has an idol I feel like. Also? Jack and Raffy make for good shields, and Raffy literally pitched that to me as a reason not to vote for him last round. Told myself I wasn't gonna listen to him, and was gonna vote for him anyway, but then Keith dropped and I thought about it more and here I am. Basically: Involve yourself in strategy but in way that there's always a bigger threat, or someone more disliked, than you around who the others will want to go after more.

Dylan C

Joseph saying that he's "gotten screwed so much" but still voting Timmy? [SCREAMS] Sorry, just got hit with the realization that if I had to define closest allies, they are Joseph and Raffy who I have both screwed over and am still willing to screw them both again if I need to? Now I'm feeling regrets? I hate having a conscience and playing a game where I'm lying to people a bunch for this particular strategy

Dylan C

Joseph: third time's the charm with trusting people so like, insert more screaming : )

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