#when judging morally I know I go more off intention because I'm subjective

[jerzwriter]

Hello, I hope this doesn’t come out as hate or anything, but sometimes you sound a little judgy when you keep saying that your MC has self-respect because she didn’t forget Ethan for leaving to the Amazon without telling her. And that’s super okay because it’s your HC(and your personal opinion), but there’s people who HC their MCs forgiving him even if he didn’t tell them and they’re also self-respected people who have a happy relationship and walk through life with their head held high. I don’t think they have to be mutually exclusive, and I think there might be people who wouldn’t forgive the things you put your pairings through (HC or not) and that’s also okay, it doesn’t take away anything from you or your MC. And I’m sure it’s not your intent to sound like that, because you seem like a nice person :) but you keep dropping that little fact randomly or praising others who HC the same for their MC, as if it’s the only right thing to do.

Hi Nonny,

I'll start this off by saying both my feelings about Casey's reaction and my thoughts on if I'm being judgemental are, well, subjective. They're my opinions, and I'm entitled to mine as much as everyone else is to theirs. If someone is offended by my expressing my thoughts, to me, it says the reader is of the belief that their POV is the only one that can be right. Otherwise, how could a contrary opinion be offensive?

I never think anyone has to have the same POV as me, especially in the world of fanfiction where, really, none of this matters. It's not influencing policy, law, or human rights - it's fanfic.

Canon is murky on how Ethan left/if MC knew. All we know is he didn't contact them while he was there, so it's up to us to decide how we think it happened. Many have expressed moral outrage their displeasure over my thoughts on Casey not forgiving Ethan, and, honestly, not to be mean, but I don't care. I'm not forcing them to feel the same way; I don't judge them for feeling differently. But it's my HC, my POV, and I'll stand by it. In the same way, I hope they'd stand by theirs.

In my T/C world, if Ethan had shown he had real feelings for MC (he did), crawled out of their bed just weeks before (he did), told them they'd "work it out" (he did), and then hopped on a flight and without so much as a heads up, letting her find out like she was just any other resident, like she was nobody. Then, yes, my MC absolutely would have the self-respect to say, "OK, this is not the kind of man I want to be with. I deserve to be treated better than this." It's ascerbated by the fact that he would have months away to think about it and reconsider his choices. Did he even call and say, "Look, we can't be together, but I handled this poorly, and I owe you an apology." He didn't. So, at best, he's not emotionally mature enough for her. At worst, he's callous, and she deserves better. I won't back down from that. This is how I'd react. This is the advice I'd give my best friend/child if they were in the situation. (Oh, keep in mind this is in HC, in AUs - anything goes. lol)

Everyone has their own lines in the sand... for their characters and in real life. Some people find jealousy appealing. To me, anything more than fleeting jealousy is an unhealthy emotion that is destructive and indicative of a problem that needs correcting. To some, cheating is forgivable. To some, it's not. To me, it's not forgivable in almost all cases, but there are exceptions, and it's a very, very personal choice. Will everyone agree with me? Nope. Do I care that they think differently than me? Nope. They're entitled to. Their differing POV is not a threat to mine, and mine shouldn't be to them.

I read and enjoy other OTPs that are very different from mine. I'm not threatened by them. You'll never see me telling someone their idea is stupid or wrong. I'll never criticize them or tell them my way is superior to theirs (it's just different). I'm not going to tell them they're crazy or should seek help because they view a fictional character differently than I do. That's just crazy talk.

Yeah, I love that in my T/C world, Casey told Ethan to take a walk after he treated her horribly. If I see someone with the same POV, I may say, "Good for you!". But I'm not sitting here telling others, "OMG, You're such an idiot because you had your MC forgive him. OMG, she's weak and pathetic. OMG, you must need help if you feel that way." You'll never hear that out of me.

#just my thoughts #i have mine #others have theirs #and that's cool #asks answered #fandom things

[worstloki]

maybe it cause loki is a villain with a smugness is why? lol some villains are liked for some reasons who are we to judge like for example loki, joker and draco malfoy seem be like villains

There’s nothing wrong with liking villains, it’s just that in both the films and comics Loki has been recently proven himself on many occasions to fall more under anti-hero (or hero!) and displays effort to be/is morally better than his relative designated hero (Thor). Decent comparisons here would be in regards to characters who were raised bad, looked down on by their own, and then wound up on the good side anyway, so Zuko and a mix of Sirius/Regulus would be better comparisons to be made here. 

While characters like Azula and Draco have the possibility for it they weren’t given redemption because of where the texts ended. Their contributions to villainy can be read as resulting from the abusive environments they were raised in and without that need to prove themselves a part of their family/organization there is much room to develop, especially since the plot cuts off after their reasons to remain bad have been eliminated. While some people like the villainous aspects (which, totally fine and understandable) some people find the idea of never being too far gone to be redeemed inspiring. The difference here is that whether either character decides to be better or doesn’t is left to interpretation (don’t @ me about the a:tla comics or the cursed child, i’m not talking about them rn). For this category I would only put Loki if it referred solely to Thor 1 or the comics before Kid Loki. I think a better comparison here could be to Ava or Killmonger (if he had lived) because of where their narratives cut off.

The Joker is... the Joker... and I’m pretty sure he’s not even trying for anything like a redemption? Of what I’ve read he doesn’t show remorse or guilt over his actions nor does he try to undo his work or have a purpose other than homicide? Not sure who to compare to but lets go with Sozin/Azulon/Ozai trifecta and Moldymort. 

There’s plenty of factors that could be involved, and “smug villain” can 100% be a reason on it’s own too. I just. Don’t like to simplify it that much. And the Thing about this though is that regardless of where the hero or villain status might lie people tend to decide which characters they like based off what they find entertaining or worth personally investing in, which is why patterns between favourites are always fun to take a look at, and why one person might define villain as synonymous with morally bad/evil while another will equate it to being an antagonist. 

#I myself tend to throw villain in with meaning either of those last options by the way #if I say ''Loki is a villain'' I'll be following it up with ''in Thor 1/Avengers 1/X comic'' basically #when judging morally I know I go more off intention because I'm subjective #if I see Wanda trying to stop a bomb and blowing up the floor of a building I'd blame her lack of practice in magic not call her evil for it #if Wanda intends to leave Agatha suffering within her own body as torture and then does so? Now THAT goes into villain territory #it's why Wanda accidentally taking over Westview would've been fine by me but she DOES know what's going on so I go hmmmm wait.... #it's why I keep the genocide of jotunheim in mind but don't blame loki for thinking it was the only thing he could do #even if he had planned to kill the entire race... his context is against Thor and Odin and Bor who all attempted genocide themselves ??? #we already know Loki isn't exactly into bloodlust or enjoying the fight like the warriors 5 so he isn't there to kill the race tho he tries #since the entire race is framed to be bad by the narrative I honestly read the destroying as more symbolic for loki #in the sense that he could destroy everything he is and everything he's tried to be and it still wouldn't make a difference to odin #since it's followed up by Loki then also letting go #and Odin in this instance of course represents the entire Asgardian society as the literal king #so Loki essentially lets go of what is expected of him which is also why Thor yelling for him doesn't make a difference now #he's just done trying and being rejected and criticized so he doesnt let go to solely to end his life but rather stop doing what others want #if you go for the literal thing he's done though he totally just tried to kill an entire race so odin will see him as a worthy son #BUT that race itself was presented as already dying and 'bad' and Thor himself only opposed Loki bc it was Loki doing that #even though Loki is the main antagonist here he's given motive and morals while the Jotuns are only implied to have to the same #they need the casket for their planet but Laufey also prioritizes killing Odin and 'revenge' is 'bad' in the eyes of many unfortunately #killmonger too lets not forget that his intention was to make things better for people like him suffering everywhere #the only 'evil' things I'd say he did was kill the people he was working with (the lady?) and then try for his goal trying to kill others #if he'd been a bit more successful he'd be in the same boat as loki except killmonger's context (assuming it's earth) definitely stands out #it's why I categorize him as a villain #even though i'm crazy tempted to throw him into anti-hero often #fighting t'challa in the ring as he did was :// but he's got a goal to achieve you know #it's sympathetic but T'Challa and everyone opposing/with him knows the weight of what will be done #Thor/Loki were raised on xenophobia/racism and war stories so the lives of Jotuns don't have the worth of lives if it's in a war #literally the only thing saving Loki is that he was going off Asgardian morals instead of his own at the time #i rant but tldr it's not wrong to group characters together but if you ask me to compare draco/joker/loki i'd say they have more differences #and just to clarify bc I know how reading comprehension here is I'm not saying genocide is good but consider I'm speaking on fictional

[completely-zucked]

I've been homeless and immobile for a while, but I'm in danger of losing my accommodation and wheels (again).

Mentally and spiritually, I have been homeless for nearly two decades. I have once again been threatened with eviction because I don't have enough money in my bank account to pay my rent or meet my car repayment and other loans. Each time it happens, things get worse and there's no negotiating.

This time around, though, I might call their bluff, because I was already being driven mad (quite literally) by the restrictions, manipulating and gass-lighting (being called a cold, uncaring self-centred, irrational, illogical, lazy, stupid, narcissistic and paranoid sociopath — enough to make a guy with self-esteem and motivation issues suicidal). What's changed is that now I've been banned from using, cleaning and/or performing any maintenance on any room in the house except my bedroom (including bathrooms and toilets), which was previously one of my responsibilities. I have to use outdoor ones/the old servants' quarters, which doesn't have a door on the bathroom. )I live in the southern hemisphere; it's winter here.) I'm not allowed to hang a curtain or take material to make one, so I use an old chlorine bucket in the passageway/corridor outside as an indicator that I'm in there. I'm not allowed to be out there past 21:00 and am not allowed to move my stuff to the servants' quarters or garage because they are being used as storage space for tools and, occasionally, as a home gym by/for my landlord. I'm also not allowed to use any tools or appliances (including vacuum, cleaners, brushes, brooms, dustpans and cloths), because no maintenance. Everything of mine that I don't keep hidden and locked away has been confiscated. Of that, everything that I bought myself has been discarded or claimed as belonging to my landlord and landlady. (My soap, of all things, was the first casualty, which is what tipped me off and prompted my buying locks for those things I could lock away.) I am also not financially able nor permitted to buy more tools, containers or locks (and replacements for those) since my finances are being scrutinised and my choices, decisions and purchases criticised.

My broom is a paintbrush, my dustpan a plastic shopping bag and my duster a roll of paper towel. My vacuum cleaner is a cardboard tube glued to a Pringles can with a PC fan inside. ... And they wonder why I've taken to doing DIY projects that repurpose recyclable household items ; how irrational of me ... Le sigh.

That means no fridge, kettle, microwave or stove. I also don't get cooked meals. That would be fine on its own if I weren't subject to restrictions. I live off powdered milk, coffee, cereal, peanut butter, marmite, bread, orange squash concentrate, syrup, biscuits and bananas. Sometimes, I skim a couple of tablespoons of yoghurt out of the container when they're not around, or dilute fruit juice with water at a ratio of about 1:3, just to have some variety/luxury. I had some meal replacement shake powder too, just to keep me from starving, but that's gone and I can't afford to replace it. If I ask for more, I'll have to pay it back; they keep track of everything they buy for me (including a bottle of vitamins) that I'll have to pay back if/when I get a job again. I already owe about $220. It was, of course, a big deal when I bought myself twelve beers on special for $9 the day I got paid for the first lot of contract work I'd done in nearly six months since losing my job, despite the guy underpaying me by just over $100 because I hadn't insisted on a written agreement and was in no position to haggle/negotiate; the last time I do favours for friends, especially those who're religious. (The fact that I'm rationing out the beers at one a week and am only on my sixth one next weekend doesn't have any relevance to my landlady, who tried to confiscate a couple with intent to give them to my landlord and made an almighty fuss about how selfish I was being when I said I'd be fine with sacrificing them if either of them had just asked for one, how she'd noticed my ex always bought the wine despite our having agreed on certain divisions of costs when we were together, and a whole lot of other irrelevant bullshit.)

I need help getting out before the end of June, assuming I find a job and somewhere to go by then. Otherwise, I'm quite likely to end up on the street or attempting to off myself again. Currently, I have no job, nowhere to go and not even enough money to buy a cheap bicycle for $175. Even if I take my car to a dealer who'll settle the balance of my loan with the bank, I get nothing for it because it's an old model which I haven't been able to afford to take better care of and is pretty much a lemon four years after I drove it off the showroom floor. (I should have traded it in after two, before the new model came out). That's the best deal I've been offered. The alternative is to either trade it in for something else and extend my loan or take an amount that's less than it's worth and continue paying off a loan for a vehicle I no longer have. Hooray for death by a thousand cuts under Consumer capitalism.

Apparently, it's all my fault for not learning my life lessons, growing the fuck up, sorting my life out and GTFO of the family home a hell of a lot sooner (by at least a decade, nearly two), when the physical abuse by my peers first started in small and subtle ways. I thought that would all be behind me when I left high school, then varsity, then two corporate jobs. But no, I'm the kind of person who attracts bullies and toxic, abusive relationships.

The moral of the story

If I had known what I now know and the lessons I have learned when I was a padawan/young twenty-something, I would have taken my education seriously and applied myself to obtaining both CS and EE degrees instead of a crappy, near-worthless diploma, moved into my own two-room shoebox as a priority and bought a bicycle instead of a car. Anywhere I can't reach by bike probably isn't worth going and a car is an immovable liability/waste of money two years after purchase. At least I would have my own space (which I so desperately crave). At least then, I could be an allegedly horrible, reprehensible and repulsive degenerate of a person all by myself without anybody to hurt or hurt me. I'm fucking done with living with other people for a while. Fuck that noise; I want a thousand days of solitude, even if it's in a corrugated iron shack in an informal settlement. I'm prepared to cook my supper in a three-legged potjie over a wood fire and boil collected rainwater in a cast iron pot while I wait for my orchard and mielies to grow.

Honestly, at this stage, I'm prepared to live on a camp bed with a sleeping bag and a camp chair and folding table in somebody's garage, undercroft or old servants' quarters (as long as there's a plug point and running water) just to be able to get away from here. I just want some space of my own to be myself (horrible or otherwise) again and keep my interaction with people to a minimum while I figure out how to cope with/manage my shitty life situation, get back on my feet and out in the world again without being scrutinised, criticised, judged, condemned, restricted, rejected and ostracised. That shit is literally making me crazy and suicidal. It is not in any way conducive to me so much as thinking of an action plan/way forward, let alone pursuing it. Yet, somehow, I still manage to restrict the time I spend buggering around on social media (still too much), which I apparently need to succeed in the modern world, hunt for jobs, write, make music and try to flog my Patreon to disinterested parties. Oh, and I'm also writing a proposal for a social media site for someone who's attempting to gather funding.

Seeing my shrink for two hours a month (which costs me a month's wages from my part-time weekend job) and the afore-mentioned job is not enough, as much as I love animals.

So if you can spare between ten and twenty-seven dollars a month to help keep me afloat, please subscribe to my Patreon. Your support will be greatly appreciated.

#homeless #immobile #I need money #finance #abuse #gaslighting