#when i say dream’s vocal line is untouchable i mean it

[hykwrld]

𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 + 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊

pairing : nct dream (00 line + mark) x gn!reader (afab anatomy)

contains : dirty talk obvi, dom/sub dynamics, cursing, degradation (hyuck), mentions of public sex (hyuck), mentions of a size kink (jeno) dumbification (jaemin)

a/n : i think read more just hates me so i’ll try to add it later </3 finally felt motivated enough to write this so here’s this mess of a post <333 as always, feedback, asks and reblogs are appreciated <3

MARK LEE

mark’s shy with his words, much preferring to express his content through soft grunts and moans that escape his lips as he fucks you. he doesn’t want to say something wrong and accidentally ruin the mood, he knows how awkward he can be. sometimes, though, he stops overthinking it, just groaning whatever comes to mind under his breath, voice raspy and thick with lust. very rarely is he mean to you, unable to spit out the insults without feeling bad, unless he’s in a specific mood. it’s mostly praise, short, quick phrases that easily summarize how much he loves being buried in your pretty cunt, mumbled into the crook of your neck or your shoulder. mark curses a lot, not knowing what else to say for the most part, but it’s still hot, especially when you’re giving him head. he makes sure you hear every word, wanting you to drink in his praise, listen to how good you make him feel.

“fuck, angel, you’re so warm ‘nd tight, could stay inside you forever”.

HUANG RENJUN

renjun usually prefers soft love making over rough, fast sex but that doesn’t mean that his vocabulary only consists of praise and sweet words. he works you up with his words while his fingers ghost over your skin, lips brushing your ear or your neck. he likes telling you what he’s planning on doing and seeing your toes curl at the mere thought, nearly having you cum untouched; the ego boost that comes with that is just the cherry on top. he gets possessive really quickly too, telling you that no one else could have you like this, see you like this, make you feel as good as he does. while a lot of his dirty talk stems from his love of seeing you fall apart from him alone, it’s also a reassurance that you’re his as much as he is yours. renjun wants to hear you sob his name when he’s made you cum for the nth time and he asks you who’s the only one who can make you feel like this; he wants to know that he can make you feel good and that you don’t want anyone else. 

“what was that, pretty? say it a little louder for me. who’s the only one who can fuck you this good?”

LEE JENO

contrary to popular belief, jeno’s not as harsh with his words as donghyuck is. he can be mean, but you’d both have to be in the mood or piss him off for that. jeno’s not as vocal, but when he speaks, his voice is low and raspy, usually spoken with a smirk on his lips. he likes speaking against your skin or right before he’s about to kiss you because it allows him to see the goosebumps that form or the way you gulp. like mark, jeno curses a lot, usually followed by some praise about how well you take him. he always tells you how good you are for him, how your body was made for him in between his quick thrusts. he just loves seeing how small you are under him (we all know he has a size kink <3) and how small he can make you feel with his words. he loves listening to you moan about how big he is, how good he makes you feel, it boosts his ego and that feeds into his dirty talk as a response. 

“wasn’t sure i was gonna fit at first, pretty, but your pussy takes me so well”.

LEE DONGHYUCK

donghyuck is filthy with his words, using them to rile you up whenever he has the chance. he doesn’t sugarcoat his words, often mocking you with fake pity laced in his voice. his tone is mean and condescending, making fun of your inability to get off without him. he loves seeing just how desperate you are for him, for his cock, the words falling past his lips with ease. he makes you earn his praise and even then, it’s backhanded, calling you his good whore for making him cum. hyuck loves whispering in your ear when you’re out in public, seeing you squirm and squeeze your thighs together, trying to make the ache go away. it often leads to you pulling him into a bathroom or a fitting room or, if he makes you wait, the backseat of his car. every word drips with a possessive tone and it’s even worse when he’s jealous. you’re his and you know that. 

“flirting with my friends and still begging me for my cock? you think you deserve it after being a little whore?”

NA JAEMIN

this boy is full of praise and sweet words, even if they come off a little meaner than you’re expecting. how can he hold himself back when you look so pretty letting yourself be used like his toy? he always looks at you so fondly, eyes full with love as he fucks you, whispering those soft praises down at you or against your skin as he sucks marks there. he disguises the little bit of degradation in his words with his sweet tone and even sweeter kisses, calling you his slut while gently caressing your face and holding your hand. he’s quick to find the words that affect you the most and whisper them into your ear, starting off with a couple quiet praises, telling you how good you’re being for him, but with every orgasm he pulls from you, his words get just a little bit more humiliating. he loves seeing his pretty baby all fucked out for him, why wouldn’t he let you know how cute he thinks you look?

“my dumb baby, look so cute when you get fucked out from just a little bit of cock”.

#nct dream #nct #nct dream smut #nct smut #mark smut #mark lee smut #renjun smut #huang renjun smut #jeno smut #lee jeno smut #haechan smut #lee haechan smut #donghyuck smut #jaemin smut #na jaemin smut

[doyunhos]

neozone 🤝 awaken the world 🤝 hot sauce

#aka no skip nct unit full length albums #never thought i’d see the day of an ot7 full length album 🥺 #and as expected the album is SO good #there are so many vocal heavy songs (which are my absolute favorites) 🥺 #and the vocals are INSANE #when i say dream’s vocal line is untouchable i mean it #i’ve only listened to it start to finish once #so idk which bside is my favorite yet but i love pretty much every song #and i really like the title track (might even be one of my favorite dream title tracks 👀) #anyways this is one of my favorite nct dream comebacks 🥺 #also i may or may not have just driven around in circles listening to this album LMAO #in my defense it’s a gloomy day and i just felt that that fit the vibe lmao #plus songs hit different in the car 😗 #nct #nct dream #cay.txt

[ellsbclls]

you write hurt/comfort so beautifully, it makes me want to have tom comfort me like that ): do u think you could write something where he's taking care of you after a long day at work?? and if it's a little nsfw i wouldn't mind but u dont have to do anything ur not comfortable with. again L O V E ur work!!

thank you so much 🥺 i guess i just try to portray a type of love i think everyone deserves! but also thank you for giving me this idea because my mind went rampant. i also don’t know why the reader is a musician, but just roll with it i guess idk what happened there??? 

i hope this tickles your fancy! nsfw, so extended warnings will be under the cut! please do not interact if you're a minor!!

extended warnings: cue fingering, and some messy, needy sex in the bathtub 🛁✨

The steam rising from the bathtub makes light work of your weary muscles, menthol vapors kissing up your spine, soothing the knots scattered across the length of your back. You were in dire need of this, after the plight of a day you’d endured. A couple of hours in the studio had quickly spiraled into a six hour-session, with nothing to show for it but a lousy sixteen measures of brass ensembles — and by the good grace of your talent and patience, the artist has requested you drop in for their session again.

The thought makes you want to drown.

Instead, you opt to curl into yourself, softly pressing your cheek into your knee, watching the spindles of warmth waft up from your well earned bubble bath. In retrospect, the weight of your day didn’t fall solely on this new client — if you’re being honest, they actually had a lot of potential. You wouldn’t mind having your name tethered to a couple of their hits — but Tom had just returned home from a three month long shoot, and you’ve only been graced the luxury of his presence for less than 24 hours. Any time that isn’t being spent with him feels blasphemous, but since he has yet to return from his unknown whereabouts, you seized the opportunity to flush out as much irritability as possible before he returned.

You didn’t know just how tired you were until you were woken up.

A half an hour passes before you’re tousled from your dreamless slumber by a docile touch, familiar digits scaling the curve of your spine before they take a detour at the nape of your neck, carefully parting stray strands of hair to either side of your frame.

“Tom?” You hum, dulcet tones wafting through the steam akin to a dream as it ebbs from the rim of your subconscious.

“Yes, darling?” He muses, entranced by the frothy remnants of your bath soak as he dips his fingertips into the water.

“I missed you today.” You melt into his touch, allowing your head to fall to the side and survey his attire. His hair is all tousled, chestnut locks sprouting from the bottom of his backwards strewn baseball cap, and those honey-dipped hues you adore so much are creased with concern. You want nothing more than to soothe them away with the pad of your thumb, and so you indulge yourself, reaching over the edge of the tub as you continue to ramble. “I started the day already praying for it to be over with, and somehow, every single inconvenience fathomable decided to fall onto my lap. I mean — who the fuck needs seven different french horn tracks in an overture? A real band barely needs one.” Tom’s nodding along to your ramblings, but you both know that he doesn’t fully under the lengths of your frustration — just as you’ll never truly understand the inner workings of his own career. “The only thing keeping me together was the thought of coming home to you.”

“I’m so sorry, my love,” He coos, and continues to caress your back, working out all of the knots that the steam couldn’t relieve. “If it’s any consolation, I was only running late because I had to stop and buy some pancetta on the way home.”

“Don’t apologize. I assumed you would be back since all your stuff is still here.” You tease, mirroring his bemused smile, letting his world seep into your slowly booting brain. “Pancetta…” Not many people knew this, not even Tom before his first attempt, but the boy could whip up a mean bowl of pasta. You remember floundering across the bed the night before, identical to a little kid throwing a tantrum, moaning over just how badly you were craving carbonara. Silly of you to think that he’d take your melodramatic request in stride. “Are you-“

His enamored gaze is answer enough, but he pairs it with a chaste kiss to your forehead that has you nuzzling into his touch. “Only the best for my lil’ lady.”

You show a mere fraction of your appreciation with a swift, flurry of kisses over his cheekbones, pulling him closer by the downy bundles of his hoodie. Lovedrunk giggles and contented sighs bounce off the tiles before you’re both submerged in a comfortable silence, one that leaves the both of you free to shamelessly examine the other, one clad in their comfy, weatherworn disguise while the other dawns nothing but an enchanted smile. Even with the disparity between your attire, you both end up with flushed cheeks and dopey grins.

Hours, days, years seem to press on until you break the silence with a silly question, one that you ask in hopes of hearing his gentle, candied voice once more — or even better, his laugh. “What would you do if I was as big as a thumbtack? Would you still love me?” You query, a childlike sense of wonderment tinting your sugar-coated sigh.

He takes a second to ponder your questions, taking it into far more consideration than you had in bringing it to fruition. You can’t stifle the tiny puff of air that leaves your lips, the semblance of a chuckle, and Tom, with his wild brow and theatrical ways, whips his head in your direction, sending you a cautionary glare. “I suppose I would…” He starts, only to tap his finger against his bottom lip, drawing the suspense to its boiling point by the time you shove his forearm. “But then again, it doesn’t matter what size you are, there’s no limit to how much I love you.”

“Hmm,” you manage to vocalize. Your heart is now a star, an incandescent ball of fire caged beneath your ribs, and if he hasn’t gathered it by now, then he can bask in the warmth of your smile and know that for him, for him it is the sun.

You have to admit that you got ahead of yourself. One moment, you were binding your lips in a bruising, indulgent union, urging him to bask in the lovelorn rays of light he summoned, but only managing to pull him into the bathtub, fully clothed and unsuspecting. What was once your lukewarm oasis is suddenly a swirling cauldron of spearmint, teatree, and now unmistakable notes of him, sloshing against the edge of the tub as his frame struggles against the latent tide. There’s bound to be one hell of a mess waiting on the bathroom floor, but now that he’s settled in your grasp, you see no reason to fret just yet.

“Y/N.” His voice is deadpan, which can mean one of two things — he’s either overwhelmed with joy, or exhibiting a great deal of restraint in not drowning you right then and there. You choose to cancel out the latter, and offer the best attempt at innocence your babydoll eyes could muster, peering at him through your lashes with a teeth-rotting gleam.

“What?” You ask simply. His eye starts to twitch, and you only double down on your facade. “I just wanted to be closer to you.” Wading through the newly shallow body of water, half of its contents now dispersed across the tile floor, you make light work of his soggy hoodie, sloughing it over his head as he grumbles beneath it, giggling when it catches against that razor-sharp jawline of his.

“Well, you are very close now.” You notice how his voice drops down an octave, and you’re embarrassed to admit just how quickly the coil in your stomach tightens at the sound of it, how it already aches to be pulled taut. 

Tom seems unsuspecting enough when he captures your lips once again, his brims as delicate as baby’s breath against your own, tentative as they glide in a sultry dance. He doesn’t need to coax a confession out of you, the truth is already there, nestled in your urgent, needy pressure, in the whimpers threatening to spill into his lips. He’ll indulge in this little game for a moment longer — where you pretend that you aren’t desperate for his touch, and he pretends that he isn’t just as desperate to provide it — but once you fumble into his lap, clumsily grasping for more, and more, and even more of him, his resolve begins to crumble.

“I need you.” you whisper into the hollow of his mouth, golden-tongued and virtually earnest, coaxing a trembling sigh from the back of his throat.

He hums back, contented, basking in the intoxicating warmth of your silhouette, tracing the curve of your breasts with his knuckles. “Long day, my love?”

“Mhmm,” You demonstrate your point with a wistful sigh,  enveloping his great hands with your smaller ones, coating them in languid kisses until there was no skin left untouched.

You’re just too fucking cute, he muses. He can never say no to you, not even in jest.

Two of his slender digits roam the valley of your stomach, knuckles ghosting over your navel in their listless descent before they venture between your thighs, surveying just how badly you really need him. He dips his middle finger between your folds, tender and slick with your arousal, and emits a husky groan as he traces a steady line between your entrance and the spot just below your clit, ghosting your little bundle of nerves with each taunting caress. “You’re already soaked, my love. This all for me?” He coos, nudging your jaw with the tip of his nose, pressing a wet, open mouthed kiss against the column of your neck.

“All for you,” You sigh, digging your nails into the broad planes of his shoulder. “Please, Tom, please touch me.”

He finally spares you, thumb sloppily circling your clit as he plunges two digits into your opening, welcoming the lithe intrusion with a warm, velvety embrace. You slump into his embrace, nipples straining hard against the soaked fabric of his t-shirt, and raggedly whimper as he starts to work you open. The reminder of your nude form plastered against his clothes, albeit soaking wet, summons another pool of wetness to your core. You’re flooded with thoughts of delectable anguish — of denim kissing your hips, dragging against your bundle of nerves, as he ravages your bare little cunt, proving that you’re so desperate for his cock that you can barely wait for him to undress.

“Is this all you needed, baby? My fingers? You wanted me to stretch this pretty little cunt out?” He can’t stop the filthy words tumbling from his lips, especially not when your tiny mewls of pleasure are flooding his ears — you’re just so soft and pliant under his touch, so eager to be filled to the brim, it’s intoxicating to know that you’ll take anything he has to offer you. “I’ve got you, baby. I’m gonna give you everything you need. Gonna have you spilling all over my fingers and then — fuck! — then i’m gonna fill you up with my cock. How does that sound?

“Y-yeah,” You’re rutting against his palm at this point, grinding down to meet each thrust, to feel impossibly closer, fuller, ambling toward an orgasm that is already barreling toward you. As he finds a new angle, the pads of his fingers nudge against your g-spot, and the heel of his hand careens over your clit with such a delicious pressure that your thighs begin to quake. “‘M so close.” You whine, prompting him to punctuate each thrust with a curl of his fingers, dragging your orgasm from the pit of your stomach.

“Then let go, baby. Let go for me.” You need no further persuasion, your eyes squeezing shut as you teeter off the edge, with nothing but a raspy, desperate string of obscenities, clawing at the slope of his shoulders, and bathing his hand in sultry waves of nectar as it spills from your weepy little hole. His fingers are trapped between your fluttering walls, working you through your climax with nimble, tentative thrusts, stretching each wave of pleasure out until you’re trembling over little ripples.

“That’s it, that’s my girl.” You feel so small beneath his gaze, teeming with endless pools of adoration, like you’re a freshwater clearing and he’s parched. It nearly distracts you from his fingers as they slip from your opening, but each receding wave of bliss is tethered to him, so you groan at the loss of contact. Your walls flutter hopelessly around nothing, chasing the delicious stretch of his digits in their absence, but you’re instantly qualmed by the sound of his zipper being pulled down, no doubt freeing himself from the waterlogged confines of his jeans.

“Can I?” You sink your hands into what little water still remains in the tub, hooking your fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, but he swats your shaky hands away, adamantly shaking his head as a small frown of confusion forms between your brows. “You don’t wanna take ‘em off?”

“This is about you, my love.” He whispers, his free hand smoothing over the small of your back, stroking the patch of dew-ridden skin with his thumb. “And right now, all I wanna do is keep my promise.”

“You’re so good to me,” You whisper just above his lips, leaning back into his touch, peering between your bodies to survey his ministrations. You’re still a bit dazed from your first, earth-shattering orgasm, but the prospect of another has you buzzing with excitement, and Tom knows that look well enough to speed up his course of action.

Pearly veneers sink into the swell of your bottom lip at the mere sight — his cock is beyond compare. Even as its impatiently pulled through the opening of his jeans, it’s put on a mouth-watering display as he leisurely pumps himself, smearing tiny pearls of precum across his flushed, leaky tip with each upstroke. He’s far too enticing, far too pretty with his rosy cheeked, droopy-eyed charm, to resist, and you’re quick to replace his hand with your own, curling your fingers around the base and mimicking a couple teasing pumps before guiding him to your entrance.

Tom spreads his legs a little wider to accommodate you, the sensation of wet denim rubbing against your thighs, knocking your legs farther apart, causes a soft whimper to fall from your lips. It doesn’t take long for you to align the head of his cock with your entrance, teasing him with a couple of lascivious drags through your folds before you sink onto his length, reigniting the remnants of your last orgasm as inch after delicious inch prods your tender walls apart. By the time he bottoms out, you’re nothing but a trembling pile of limbs, and his lips seek out your own just to muffle your staggered breaths with a burning kiss.

You allow yourself a couple of seconds to adjust — no matter how or which way you take him, he still pushes up every crevice of your insides, demanding every square inch of your velvety heat. A wild flurry of crimson blossoms across the high planes of your cheeks as Tom nuzzles his forehead against your own, brushing his nose against yours, coaxing a melodious string of giggles from your chest while you scrunch up your nose. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips and smiles against the spot. “You look so pretty like this, my love. With that gorgeous smile of yours, and that pretty little pussy squeezing my cock.” You feel like you’ve got whiplash, trying to come to terms with how obscene he can be under such tender movements. “Just wanna turn you over and bury myself inside. See how tight you feel when you’re folded in half.” His hands reach down to rub gentle, circular motions into the small of your back, and you can’t help but pulse around him at the juxtaposition.

Once the uncomfortable stretch of his girth melts into pleasure, you finally start to work yourself over his length, and you swear you can feel every gorgeous ridge and vein of his cock as you rise up to the tip, only to plunge back down with a impish yelp, setting a clumsy, needy pace that certainly gets the job done. You don’t really find your rhythm until Tom helps you out, sinking his fingers into the supple curve of your ass, orchestrating a hard, punishing pace as he drives up into your sopping cunt, meeting you in the middle with each thrust.

All at once, the bathroom is washed in a crude symphony, the combination of your heavy panting and slapping skin intermingles with the shallow splash of water as it laps against the edge of the tub, punctuating the sinful drag of his length, and how the tip pounds against your furthest wall as you impale yourself onto him. You can feel another orgasm start to build, and since Tom has made it his solemn vow to not only study, but master, every little, scrumptious detail of your body, he senses it as well. 

“You got another one for me?” He asks between labored pants. His own orgasm is starting to peak over the horizon, following in the blazing trail you’ve set, you can tell by the way a thin sheen of sweat starts to build against his hairline, and his brows almost meet in the middle, as if the feeling of your pussy pulsing around his cock is unfathomable. He uses the grip he has on your waist to take control, using one hand to scale up the breadth of your back, and as his palms leave a blistering trail up, up, up your sides, he pulls you flush against his chest, attempting to plant his feet against the floor of the bathtub, 

He needs the leverage to piston his hips up into your own, to pound into your greedy hole at an unyielding pace — to keep his promise — and as you start to feel the tell tale edge of your climax cresting over your weary frame, you spoil his shoulder with sweeping, butterfly kisses and flood his mind with sweet, sweet nothings, luring him to the brink with the same dulcet tones you know drive him wild.

His hips stutter into your own, and before the words can even exit your lips, you’re dragged to the edge of bliss with a couple of rough, uncompromising thrusts that have you wildly spasming around his length. He joins you almost immediately, throbbing against your sensitive walls as he fills you to the brim, driving the mixture of your arousal further into you as he fucks you through your orgasm. 

Once he pulls out, he’s quick to wrap you up in a soothing embrace, planting kisses over every acre of skin he can get his lips on, but you’re too focused on the trail of cum leaking down your thighs to really indulge him, curiosity getting the better of you as you gently weave your arm between your bodies and collect the wetness on your thighs. You swear you can feel the rumble of his chest once you pop your fingers into your mouth, humming around the sodden digits, making a spectacle out of the addicting elixir pooling on your tongue, but his glimmer of reinvigorated stamina is put to rest by the sight of your drowsy, half-lidded stare.

“Why don’t we get you dried off? Then I can start dinner.” He hums against your cheek, punctuating his suggestion with yet another chaste kiss. It’s genuinely like he can’t get enough, and neither can you as you sleepily nod.

“Will you wake me up when it’s ready?” You sigh, teetering on the edge of slumber once more.

“Of course, my love.”

#tom holland #tom holland blurb #tom holland x reader blurb #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader smut #something about this man fucking the bad day out of you 🥰 #what a gentleman #ANOTHER 3K DOOZY?????? #WHA T TH E FUCK??? #mine*

[conaionaru]

Play a game

I am alive! Ever since @youbloodymadgenius​ mentioned me in a post and said that I haven’t been writing that much, I decided to start writing again. So I tried to put together another oneshot and this is what happened. Hope it’s not bad.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"  The pure power in his blue eyes was haunting. He was in control, and the knowledge of it made him untouchable.

(Y/N) could drown in those blue eyes if she dared to look long enough. "I think I finally understand you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Ubbe chuckled and stood up from his throne, slowly walking to her side. Every stride is like a stab to her confidence. "I wondered why you kept crawling back like a starving dog. But now I know..."

He trailed a finger up her neck, stopping just under her chin and tilting her head up. (Y/N)'s eyes shyly ghosted over his naked torso and admired the view. The look was enough proof to Ubbe. "You are starving."

(Y/N) gulped, her knees aching from the hardwood floor. "I am not."

"Then why do you always return?"

"Loyalty." The answer came easy to her; it was the truth, after all.

But Ubbe didn't look convinced. "You know nothing of loyalty, (Y/N). You betrayed Lagertha's trust for Ivar, and now you came back. I was so sure you were a traitor or a spy. It turns out you just like my cock too much."

As humiliated as she felt, it still excited her to hear him say it. He remembered her kinks after all this time. To feel lesser than him in bed made her feel complete; now that he was the King of Kattegat, the power play was more prominent.

It wasn't a game of cat and mouse between a Prince and a shieldmaiden. Instead, it turned to a king questioning a traitor. The danger was greater and oh so thrilling.

"You were always so vocal about following your dreams. I decided to do the same."

Ubbe chuckled and buried his hand in (Y/N)'s hair. "So what dream were you following when you stayed behind with Ivar?"

"Hvitserk jumped from your boat, not me. I wasn't given a choice. No one asked if I wanted to stay or go. If you asked... I would have come."

"You always did." He whispered with a smirk that made her insides squirm. Of course, he would mention that.

"Ivar wouldn't let me leave. I had to fight you! I would never betray you. I loved you."

"Loved?"

(Y/N) frowned and shook her head. "I can't love a married man. It would break Torvi's heart. And her children, including the one in her belly. Yours."

Ubbe grimaced at the reminder and walked away from (Y/N). Despite her words, she missed his touch and presence. "Why return then? What dream did you follow?"

Justice. But that answer wouldn't make him happy. But Ubbe's happiness stopped being her concern when he chose Torvi over her. Looking back at it, he kept picking everyone over her. "What I deserve."

"And what would that be?"

(Y/N) stood up and walked over to the throne, trailing her fingers over the wood; she smiled. "I am tired of being pushed away by people in favor of power and sex."

"I never did that."

"You always do that, Ubbe!"

He frowned and squared his shoulders back to show dominance. "That is no way to address your king."

"I could care less! You told me you loved me, and then you married a slave. You dragged me to England with you to protect me, and then you married your brother's wife. Why do you keep hurting me and then whispering words of love right after? What did I do to make you hate me so much? I want justice for all those nights I spent crying in my bed over your actions! I want compensation for all the hurt you caused me and all those who you leave behind! Say something!"

(Y/N) breathed hard as Ubbe watched her with no expression on his otherwise handsome face. He expected a different outcome from their reunion. He was probably used to the same old game of fight and duck that they played once upon a time.

But her time as a part of Ivar's army made her a different person. All those times, the cripple mocked her for her infatuation with his older brother, the more flaws she ended up seeing. The flowers may have been pretty, but the actions that led to them weren't.

And so (Y/N) reflected on her relationship with Ubbe Ragnarsson, if you could even call it that. Two years of constant fucking and fighting followed by making up and more fucking and fighting. Sometimes the lines blurred, and she couldn't even judge if it was one or the other.

Her love for Aslaug's oldest son died, and all that was left was a hunger for closure. She tried to get it from Margrethe, who lost her wits after Ubbe left her for dead chained to a fence. Like an animal. That was the final straw. Now it wasn't closure anymore; it was revenge. For her, Margrethe and all those other girls he used.

"Do you want an apology, is that it?"

"That's not good enough."

He rolled his eyes and turned his back on her as he walked around the Great Hall. "Then land and some slaves? Now that I am king, I can give you those things easily. Is that the kind of loyalty that bought you here? A dream of riches?"

(Y/N) clenched her jaw and shook her head, a hint of humor evident in her fake smile. "I am loyal to myself—the only one who never used me is me. So I came to take what is mine and leave."

"Killing me?"

"No..."

Ubbe turned back around and looked at her, seizing her up. If it's not money, power, sex, or his death, then what is left to take?

Another woman walked from the shadows. This one was blonde and finely dressed, followed by Hvitserk, who probably led both of them here. "This is Freydis, Ivar's queen. He murdered her son, so she wants revenge, just like me. We have ways for you to beat him, strike him where it hurts."

"Is tha why Hvitserk is here? To betray Ivar just like he betrayed me? For a girl. I wonder which one."

"A dead one," Hvitserk spoke up, his face serious as he drew (Y/N) behind him. Both women stood behind him as Ubbe took out his dagger. "Her name was Thora, and Ivar brother burned her alive. I want to stop his reign of madness. If working with you is the only way, then I will do it. Freydis has intel from within, from Ivar himself. I know everything about his warriors, and (Y/N) knows the rest."

"And how come you know so much? You are just a woman."

"If that's what you think."

He snorted and pointed at the table. "Then let's sit and discuss everything." The two brothers walked over to the table, (Y/N) moved to do the same, but Freydis stopped her.

"What happened to his demise? Did you change your mind?"

"Not at all." She turned back to the men and frowned at what has become of Ubbe. "I want him to suffer more. Destroy him piece by piece till all that's left is a shell of a man bound to die. Just like you did with Ivar."

"It is a shame what happened to him. I just hope Ubbe isn't Ivar and won't hurt you."

(Y/N) turned to her friend and smiled at her worried expression. "What a glorious purpose the gods gave us. A slave to a queen and a servant to a strategist."

"Gods bless us." Freydis smiled back, and the two walked to the table hand in hand. Women must make the most of the cards life handed them. Some play the game better than others.

#ubbe ragnarsson #Ubbe Lothbrok #ubbe #history vikings #vikings #original female character #original character

[benscursedkid]

*title from the song of the same name by ricky montgomery and based on this post from @weirdcursedvaultkid*

i | ii | iii

he’s singing, "she's a, she's a lady, and I am just a line without a hook"

year one

Everything is bigger than she imagined. 

The walls are much higher, the tables longer, Dumbledore’s podium taller. She takes a look up to the ceiling and finds that there is no roof. Constellations freckle and connect across the dark expanse of space above her. The number of floating candles about burn brightly enough to trick her eyes into believing that there are even more stars all around her. 

She’s trapped somewhere in the middle of the group, surrounded on every side by the anonymous and mesmerized faces of strangers. Rowan is nowhere to be found and suddenly she feels very, very alone. 

Once or twice she catches herself looking around for Jacob. His familiar bush of messy brown hair and bright sparkling jade eyes. The easy smile he always gave her that made everything feel better. 

But he is no longer there. 

The reminder of what she’s lost has her head spinning. She can hear her heart pumping in her ears and feels the beat of its rhythm in her temples. Things were supposed to be different. He was supposed to be here—

Something prickles at the edges of her awareness, the burning phantom of a stare somewhere just off to the side of her peripheral. Slowly, her head turns to her left, her focus still settled on the mass number of identical black shoes. Whoever is staring at her doesn’t move, nor do they look away, and Rebekah chances a glance up to their eyes. 

Not a lot registers for her once she finally sees his face. The only thing she can focus on is the warmth that radiates from him in gentle waves. Thankfully, she does not have to crane her head up very far to look him in the eye and for a moment she forgets why she was afraid. 

Because he is even more so. 

Shakily, he turns away and goes back to trying not to catch anyone’s attention. His cheeks burn a soft shade of red and Rebekah thinks that, just for a minute, maybe things won’t be so bad. 

Another name is called from the platform the tall woman stands on, but Rebekah’s mind is elsewhere and it sounds fuzzy on the ends. She does not catch it. However, her attention piques when the boy moves. 

His steps up to the chair are hesitant, small strides. His eyes flicker about for a few seconds before he screws them shut. Gryffindor, the hat says, earning it many a baffled expression from its audience, the boy included. And unlike many others, the boy does not rejoice. He simply shuffles his way to the table where he is greeted with a number of questioning looks and a handful of upturned noses. 

Gryffindor, the hat had declared with certainty—and dare Rebekah wonder: are hats able to smirk?—it's got to be Gryffindor. 

It’s a joke that I got put in Gryffindor, the boy—Ben—said to her later the next day, his eyes low and downcast. I’m scared of everything.

Everyone is afraid of something, she offered as what she hoped was a small piece of solace. He regarded her as if he did not believe her words to be true, but was hopeful enough to imagine it anyway. And as he did, the corners of his lips curved up into a wishful smile. 

The sight itself washed over Rebekah like a remedy, lightening her shoulders and easing the lump in her throat in a single swift movement. She smiled back, transforming the one on his face into something much more dazzling, yet still soft around the edges as his eyes shone a dark amber in the morning sun. 

It was then that she realized that was the first time she had smiled since stepping into this large and looming and grandiose castle. All because of someone else's dream. 

She hoped, then, to make a habit out of it.

Ben crouches down to be level with Rebekah as she sits on the lip of the fountain, his eyes roaming her figure for any sign of pain or injury. His own qualms forgotten, he no longer seems to notice the ripening bruise on his own arm or the gathering crowd around them. 

Are you okay? He asks carefully, his brows furrowed into a knot and an exaggerated frown pulling at his mouth. She didn’t really hurt you, did she?

Rebekah blinks for a moment, her thoughts drawing a quick blank at the sight of his worry. Around them, she can hear the whispering of students who care little for hiding it. They point and gossip and Rebekah isn’t sure if they’re talking about her or them but either way, it makes her skin crawl. 

Concern flashes across his eyes for a moment before he looks around and remembers himself, his cheeks pinking a little to match hers. His hand ghosts over her forearm as if unsure where to put it or what to do with it. 

Don’t worry about them, Ben whispers almost to himself, but just loud enough for her to share in the secret. His hand balls into a fist before finally settling back to his side and Rebekah isn’t sure if she’s thankful or disappointed. You were amazing. 

This does not do well for her fair complexion as his words only deepen the blush on her face and she quickly drops her gaze in an attempt to hide it. A beat passes and neither of them speak. Idly, she wonders where Rowan has gone off to, before Ben opens his mouth to respond. 

His voice is hushed and soft, light and mostly air as he informs, They… they aren’t saying anything mean. In fact, they seem happy that you knocked Merula down a peg. At this, Rebekah shrinks a little, their blatant attention burning holes into her skin. Ben hesitates before shifting in his place to block her from view. 

You don’t like the attention? He guesses to which Rebekah can only nod. Ben returns the gesture, but his shoulders seem to loosen up at her answer. 

He goes for what she thinks is meant to be a comforting smile. It works. Me neither. 

A spot on her elbow tingles with heat as she looks back up to face him, only to realize that his hand has moved from its place by his side to settle there instead. From the way he relaxes slightly as he continues in his original task of making sure she is okay, Rebekah can only assume that he has not noticed. She decides not to comment on it.

It seems, though, that their short moment of serenity was not meant to last very long as a flash of long, flimsy black robes and tiny circle rimmed glasses peek into her vision as their charms and potions professors make their way over to the group of gathered first years. 

At once, Rowan throws her an apologetic look from her place by Flitwick’s side, clearly having been the one to alert him. Rebekah shakes her head in a silent display of forgiveness as her and Ben stand to greet them. 

Somehow, Rebekah finds that she feels strangely complacent. She helped her friend today and for that she will never apologize. 

His grip turns his knuckles white as the wind rakes its fingers through the short strands of his hair. Even over the whistling of the wind in his ears, Ben can hear the rapid beating of his own heart in his chest, though it feels suspiciously closer to his throat for his liking. 

How is it possible that he is flying? Briefly, his mind flickers back to the cartoon witches he used to see plastered in storybooks. At once, he is reminded again that this new world is not the ‘fabrication of his own overactive imagination’, as his parents used to tell him when he complained about the ghost in the attic. 

Faintly, the sound of excited clapping drifts up to him and instinct forces his eyes back open. Anxiety is quick on his heels as he immediately finds himself looking down to the ground below him, but something else stands out against the stark green backdrop of grass. 

Rebekah stands, the only student to remain on the ground, her head craned upward to peer at him. Her eyes, kind and curious and sparkling as though home to their very own galaxy, are trained intently on him. 

She follows his every movement against the wind, every turn of his broom is caught with enthusiasm. The Ravenclaw pulses with pure and unadulterated excitement and Ben finds himself drawing energy from her and she jumps on her feet, waving up at him with the widest smile Ben has ever seen adorn her face. Strands of her ink black hair fly into her eyes, but she does not seem to mind, content with simply cheering him on. 

In that moment, it does not escape Ben’s notice that the sight, though infinitely welcome, only serves to quicken his heart rate until it begins to race even faster than before. 

His eyes have gone starry, glossed over in faint astonishment as Rebekah tells her story. She can feel her lips moving, her vocal cords vibrating in tandem, but as she looks at him she finds that she cannot hear herself speak. 

Her cheeks feel hot. 

She finishes and Ben grins, it’s giddy and goofy and Rebekah can’t help but offer him one of her own in return. 

Wow, he whispers, his eyes glued not to the vast galactic sky that they can afford to see clearly in their place up in the astronomy tower, but to her. I can’t believe Dumbledore actually took special notice of a first year!

Rebekah chuckles and rubs at her wrist bashfully. It’s not like I gave him much of a choice, she whispers back. 

At this he simply shakes his head and strangely, he looks as if there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. His smile does not falter, his big brown eyes bright. No, he says, It’s impossible not to notice you.

She’s not ready for it to end. 

She’s not ready to return home, to a still and empty house where her parents never laugh and no one ever smiles. She does not want to walk to her room everyday where she has to pass by Jacob’s, untouched and void and not at all the same. She’s not ready to see their faces or look into their eyes and be struck again with the realization that she is not enough. 

She’s not ready to continue in a life without her brother. 

But as the train whistles in her ears and the breeze blows flower petals into her hair, she knows the choice is not hers. Slowly, she shuffles her way off the platform and wraps her arms delicately around Rowan, the dark strands of her hair tickling her nose. 

Her friend grins so wide Rebekah fears her cheeks will sting and giggles out a last goodbye, accompanied with a merry promise to keep in touch. A voice sounds from behind her and Rowan waves her off, skipping over to her family with a youthfulness Rebekah has never seen in her before. 

She watches them go with a growing lump in her throat. 

She checks her watch. 

“Rebekah.”

This time, his voice is small, yet as it curls around the syllables of her name she finds that it is no less affectionate than it always is. The girl turns, her eyes catching his for what feels scarily like the last time. 

“Ben—”

He grins when he hears her as if on nothing more than instinct alone and the thought twists a smile onto her own lips as well. 

“—I was wondering if I’d see you.”

“Well, here I am.”

“There you are.”

The sun shines above them and under its gracious attention, Ben’s hair glimmers a more golden color as it flickers in the breeze, landing softly against his forehead. Had Rebekah been older or more poetic, she might have equated it to something like gold or freshly bloomed daffodils. 

But alas the thought escapes her. 

He clears his throat. 

“I don’t think I’ll have much downtime when I get back. Mum and Dad will probably have enough questions to last them until the summer is over, but…” His cheeks pink and he rubs at the back of his neck. “I’ll write to you,” He promises. “When I can.”

And with that, he does his best to lift his chin and walk away, leaving her behind. Yet, as she watches him embrace a woman with white-blonde hair and a tall man with a smile just like his, Rebekah can’t seem to muster a single dour thought. She only smiles and waves at him as he stalks away even if he is no longer paying attention. 

A gust of hot hair rushes over him as his father opens the door to leave, but something itches at the back of his head and he turns around. 

But she is already gone. 

#hp au #HPHM #hphm #hphm au #mc #hphm mc #harry potter hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery #ben copper #ben x mc #my mc #rebekah roberts #ben x rebekah #ben copper x mc #ben copper x rebekah roberts #ben x jacob’s sibling #jacob’s sibling #hphm jacobs sibling #idk how i feel about this but #maybe if i pretend i like it one day i will #<3

[thepetulantpen]

(More blind!Geralt AU!)

The piercing death cry is insult on top of already significant injury- Geralt doesn’t even notice what’s happened at first, too busy putting pressure on the heavily bleeding bite to his shoulder. 

When the ringing in his ears subsides, leaving him with nothing, you could say he freaks out. He thinks he screams, but won’t admit it- technically, he can’t know for sure. He can’t hear anything. 

No, that’s not right. He can hear a little, muffled like he’s deep, deep underwater. Nothing useful- just the suggestion of background noise- but it’s something. His hearing isn’t completely gone, so it’s probably coming back. 

Still, he feels like he’s suddenly been stranded near a cliff, without any idea where it’s safe to step. He’s unbalanced and doesn’t want to stand from his crouch, low to the ground where he can’t trip over unseen and unheard tree roots. 

The air shifts to his right, something moving, and he lashes out on instinct. His fist moves through air, missing whatever it is, and a hand lands in his left shoulder. He almost attacks again, but he recognizes the smell- the unique combination of perfume and ink that’s distinctly Jaskier.

Jaskier pats his shoulder- the good one- and his other hand takes Geralt’s, squeezing reassuringly. They’re close enough that he can feel Jaskier stand, and Geralt gets up with him, not willing to lose his only frame of reference in a newly alien world. Jaskier guides Geralt’s hand to his elbow, leading him, like he does occasionally in particularly difficult terrain or crowded taverns. It’s not an easy process- without verbal cues, it’s hard for Geralt to know when he’s going to trip on something- but they make it back to Roach alive. 

Roach is another strong smell, grounding him. Putting a hand on her, Geralt can feel the vibrations as she moves, dancing anxiously in place. He finds his saddle bag by touch, as he always does, and digs out the correct potion bottle- labelled now, with engravings on their corks- to chug. It takes effect immediately, the tingling sensation of healing stronger and more unsettling than it normally is, now that his sense of touch is demanding nearly all of his attention.

Healing done, he stops where he is, waiting for Jaskier. He has to fight the stubborn instinct to figure this out on his own- reason tells him he can trust Jaskier, and that he can’t do this by himself. 

Jaskier takes Geralt’s hands and places his notebook in them, pausing briefly before moving Geralt’s fingers down the page, to the indent of his writing. The lines of the pen are pressed hard into the paper, forming letters that Geralt can trace. It takes a few tries, remembering the shape of letters he hasn’t seen in years, but he makes out, Deaf?

He refrains from saying something to the effect of, No shit, and goes for, “Yeah”, instead. It’s strange to not hear his own voice, but the precise movement of his vocal cords feels obvious now- almost uncomfortable, as his senses shift to rely on what few details they can pick up. 

The air near his head moves again and he reaches out to find Jaskier’s hand. With his hand on Jaskier’s, Geralt can feel him snap his fingers, right next to Geralt’s ear. There’s a very soft sound, outweighed by the sensation of air shifting, carrying vibrations. It’s too difficult to parse relevant information from the slight movement but it’s interesting, nonetheless. 

“I can hear a bit. It’s getting better, just slowly.”

Jaskier pats him once on the shoulder, then pulls his arm, steering him away. His hand is guided to Roach, where he can hold onto the saddle. She starts moving and Geralt follows, not all that different normal routine- aside from the small fact that he has no idea what’s in front of him.

Actually, that may not be true. He takes a deep breath, through his nose, and starts a list of smells, mapping out what’s around him, if not their exact location. Easily identifiable are grass and animal droppings everywhere, more distant is the pleasant scent of flowers growing a few yards away and other, fouler smells associated with a thin stream, even farther out.

He reasons that he might be able to smell a beast if it gets close- though, what he’d do about it, he’s not sure. Under his hand, he can feel Roach’s heartbeat and breathing; should there be a threat, of the non-smelly variety, he’ll feel her get nervous before he notices anything amiss. 

Their campsite, luckily, is not far away. He could’ve found it himself, he thinks, by following the smell of lingering ash from their long dead fire, but having Jaskier and Roach by his side means he doesn’t walk into any trees. 

Roach comes to a stop and Jaskier takes his arm again, leading him to a bedroll. In a few moments, during which Geralt imagines Jaskier is fumbling with kindling, the fire is lit, its heat washing over him in waves that grow steadily stronger the longer he sits. 

At his back, untouched by the heat of the fire, the temperature is decreasing. He hadn’t thought about it until now, but heat has replaced light in his world, the absence of it being the telltale sign of night approaching, and the easiest way to know when darkness arrives in the wilderness. 

He flinches when something touches his back without warning, a warm blanket draped over his shoulders. Jaskier pats his shoulder again, apologetically. 

There’s a very low sound, barely a murmur. His ears ring again, like they’re trying to readjust to hearing. The noise is mostly continuous, but inconsistent, rising and falling subtly. 

Jaskier’s talking to himself, he realizes. It makes him smile, to have something so familiar- if not able to enjoy it fully. Enjoy being used lightly, in this case. 

The notebook is pressed into his hands again. He skips over the first message and finds another, longer, Getting better?

“Sort of. I think it’ll take the night.”

Another pat- taking the place of nods, evidently. Jaskier’s presence disappears for a moment, the warmth of him gone. Geralt pulls the blanket tighter, recognizing the best fabric they carry. Soft fur on the inside, sleek silk on the reverse- it’s Jaskier’s favorite, but lately, he’s insisted on sharing with Geralt. 

A smell wafts over him as Jaskier continues... whatever it is he’s doing. It starts faint and Geralt tries to distract himself by identifying each new scent as quickly as possible. One herb at a time eventually adds up to the combination of smells that reads as tea. 

After a few minutes of anticipation- and more of those murmurs, he imagines they sound disgusted, but he almost certainly hasn’t recovered enough hearing to distinguish that- Jaskier brings the tea over, placing it in Geralt’s hands. It’s warm, and Jaskier’s hands release his to touch his face, then his shoulders, before resting on his arm. Jaskier’s presence brings stability, someone to lean on, to trust as his eyes and ears.  

“Thought you hated my tea?”

His own voice registers as a muted murmur- slightly louder than Jaskier’s. It’s going to be a long night, but he hangs onto the taste of tea, the softness of the blanket, and the scent of Jaskier, his stupid perfume and soaps. He’s not wanting for warmth, at the very least- between the fire, the blanket, and Jaskier.

He swears he hears Jaskier’s laugh, and it follows him into his dreams, with hope for a better tomorrow. 

(Jaskier is there to greet him when he wakes, the sound of a high Good morning! impossibly relieving. He never thought he’d be so happy to hear Jaskier play Toss A Coin, but it brings shape to a world gone dark.

Like audible color, as Jaskier always says.)

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #geraskier #blind!geralt #temporary hearing loss

[purplesurveys]

811

What do you like to drink in the morning? I’m not really a drinks person and I’m fine having all my meals with just water. I like coffee, but I usually drink it in the afternoon or at night. What color is your favorite hoodie? Don’t have one. My favorite sweater is gray though. Do you have a string of lights in your room? No. I remember wanting those as a teenager but I figured it was such a waste of electricity just to make my room look a little cuter, so that turned me off from the idea lol. Do you know what you are going to do today? Yeah, well today I was going to finally register for a social security number online, but given that I’m from the Philippines and the government only gives their 15% in everything they do, the website is absolute garbage and I can’t get past the first step of the process. Not surprising anymore. Other than that, I don’t have anything else to do. Does your heart hurt? My heart is missing so many people at the moment, but it’s not really hurting.

Who is not in your life that you wish was? I wish that my late maternal grandfather was still alive, if he counts. Who hurt you last? Probably Gabie. She doesn’t have a good hold of her emotions when she’s mad and tends to spit out hurtful things without thinking if it would affect me. I plan to have a talk with her about it once we can see each other again because it’s beginning to suck. Can you see the moon out your window right now? Continuing this survey four hours later, except now I’m tipsy as fuck haaaaaa. I dunno, I probably won’t be able to. It’s been raining all day and evening so I might only see clouds if I look out.

What makes you feel inspired? Seeing other people with insanely good work ethic. Are you mad at a friend right now? Nope, no reason to be. Do you have a friend who hurt you and doesn't care? I mean I’m pretty sensitive, so yeah I’ve had some friends say stuff to me that they probably didn’t think anything of, but hurt me in actuality. Is your room clean? Sure, it’s not too cluttered at the moment or anything like that. Can you see the sunrise from your window? No, it doesn’t happen on my side of the house. If you were a writer, would you have a pen name or use your real name? I’d use my real name. Idk, I’ve always found pen names to be a tad bit confusing. Did you go to Goodwill yesterday? I didn’t, and I don’t, because we don’t have whatever that is here. What is your friend's cat's name? I don’t have friends who have cats.  Do you celebrate your pet's birthdays? Continuing this survey 15 hours later because I was too dizzy to continue typing, lmao. I typically buy him a dog-friendly cupcake from the pet supply store at the mall near my school, and I serve him more food than usual for lunch and dinner. March is a busy month for me with school and stuff, so I haven’t gotten the chance to throw him a party. :( As a kid, did you celebrate your dolls' birthdays? (if you're a girl) I never liked playing with dolls. But no, I didn’t celebrate the ‘birthdays’ of my other toys. None of them lasted that long with me anyway haha. Are you wearing a hoodie right now? Nope. It’s chilly right now, but it’s not wear-a-hoodie cold. Did you ignore the last facebook post that bothered you, or did you comment? I had to ignore it because it was from my grand-aunt, and old people like to throw fits when you call them out so it was going to be a waste of my time if I commented. Do you need to go to the pharmacy today? No, no need for meds anymore yaaaaaay. Are you realizing that one of your friends isn't a real friend? Not at the moment. I’m happy with the circle I currently have. What was the name of one of your stuffed animals as a kid? I didn’t like stuffed animals either. This is more of my sister’s turf. Do you have a car? If so, did you give it a name? I do have a car but I’ve never given it a name. With my dad having plans to sell it soon, I’d rather it stay nameless for the remaining time it has with me so that I don’t get any more attached to it. If you were a famous singer, what would you want your hit song to be about? I’d want it to have an important message so I’ll probably write something about the bullshit that the government keeps pulling on us.

Did you skip church last week? No, unfortunately my mom makes us watch YouTube recordings of masses from a certain church. I usually hold up one of our couch pillows so that I don’t have to see the TV screen, but nevertheless I’m part of the audience and 30-45 minutes of my time are always wasted every Sunday. Do you have any big regrets? Just one big one. If you had to re-design an alien, instead of making them green with slanty-eyes and an egg-shaped head, what would you make it look like? I’m not creative enough for this question, so pass Do you have anyone who loves you, besides God? Do you have anyone who cares about you, besides God? Do you have anyone who you can go to for support? Yes, there’s a number of people I can think of. Do you normally write in cursive or print? Print, I write faster that way. Does your heart ache for something? Right now I’m kinda wanting pizza actually lol. Do you fit the millennial stereotype? I’m not even a millennial, dude. Would you want your first child to be a boy or a girl? Girl. I don’t want sons. If you were to write an article for a magazine, what would it be about? I’m in the mood to write an opinion piece about, again, the government. Do you have a blog? I have this Tumblr but it’s really more of a journal than anything else, so no, I wouldn’t say that I have an active blog. I did have several classes where our projects required us to make blogs and I never deleted those, so those blogs are still up albeit untouched for years now. If you were to start a blog, what would your first post be about? I can see myself starting a food review blog where I journal all the restaurants I dine in. Do you think you are good at writing poetry? I absolutely suck at it and hate when I’m required to make poems. Have you ever tried a science experiment that didn't work? I don’t think so. Have you ever had a teacher who looked like an alien? I dunno what an alien is supposed to look like but I also haven’t had a teacher who I thought looked weird. Do you take gummy vitamins? Not since I was 14 or 15. Are your feet wide? No. At least I don’t think they are lol. If you could do research right now for an essay, what topic would you choose to right about? Welp today is our Independence Day, so keeping in line with the timing it’d be nice to do a paper on something about Philippine history. What are your strongest attribute? Personally, I like the fact that I’m detail-oriented. That trait has been responsible for presentable Powerpoints, has saved otherwise careless co-workers, and has made sure that all research, written articles, etc. are free from critical errors, be it in data or grammar. Have you ever been tempted to commit a crime? Of course. I think we’ve all been tempted to do something like that at least once. Have you ever started writing a suicide letter? I’ve written a couple ones throughout the years. ...and then realized you wanted to live? No. Do you know anyone who had to evacuate for the latest hurricane? Not the last typhoon, no. But my friends in Marikina have had to evacuate for past calamities many times because they live right beside a river, and one that easily overflows at that. Do you write letters to friends? Only for special occasions, like for Christmas, retreats, if they were graduating, etc. Do you like to write letters? I do but it can get so tiring, especially because I prefer handwriting my letters. I used to write 40+ handwritten letters, one for each of my classmates, every year when we would go on retreat. The practice was super tiring though so now I typically just write letters for Gab. As a kid, did you find diagramming sentences fun? The what sentences??? I’ve no clue what you’re talking about. Whatever those are, I’m positive we never did that in school. What is your dream? Money. Where would you travel if you could? I’d go absolutely everywhere, but I’d start by finishing off Asia first. When it comes to traveling, I’ve always imagined myself taking my sweet time going local first before venturing out to farther countries. That being said, I’d love to go to Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Brunei. Do you feel all alone in the world? No. Do you own a piece of jewelry with an owl on it? Haaaaaaaaa, no. That’s such a Tumblr-in-2010 trademark. I did have owl stuff before, though. If you have a class ring, what color is the stone? Not a thing here. Does looking at the starry sky make you feel peaceful? It does. But if I’m really hellbent on feeling peaceful, I’d rather look at either a skyline at night OR into the sea during the day. Do you have a pen pal? If not, would you ever want to have one? No and no. Like I said, I’m pretty much retired from handwritten letters after writing 40+ of them every single year for around a decade lol. Do you drink hot chocolate? Only La Creperie’s San Gines hot chocolate. Sometimes I’ll drink hot chocolate at hotels too. Do you like apple cider hot or cold? I don’t drink that. Are you hurt by something a friend did to you recently? No, none of them have done or said something hurtful to me lately. Are you under 30? Yeup. Have you made a "30 Things to Do Before I'm 30" list? No. I don’t like keeping myself under a deadline. Do you paint rocks and hide them in your town? I’ve never done that before. Do you have a secret crush? Nope, am very vocal about my crush heh. What was the name of your first crush? Andi. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Yes, groan. Do you like parodies? Not always. Some of them can be a little too cheesy for my liking. Are you a Taylor Swift fan? Not a chance. Have you ever kissed a picture? I probably have. Do you use window clings (stickers for your window)? No. Do you decorate for fall? We don’t have fall. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? Not really sure yet...I don’t even know if we’re getting Halloween this year. Has suicide crossed your mind a lot lately? [trigger warning] Not these days, and I’m really thankful for that. I’ve self-harmed twice during the course of the quarantine and while that’s disappointing at least I haven’t thought about being dead, and that’s what matters to me. Do you have supernatural abilities? ............No. Do you get enough hugs? Definitely not these days. I haven’t been hugged since March. I think I might cry when I get my first one. What labels do people try to put on you? I don’t know. You’d have to ask others because this isn’t the sort of thing people say to your face lol. Who do YOU (or rather, who does God) say you are? Are you happy? I’m not happy with the Jesus questions on here lmao but kidding aside, I wouldn’t say that I 100% am. I just feel like I’ve only been floating or existing recently, but not fully happy. Have you asked yourself recently, Why am I here? I hate questions like that, so no. What family member did you get your hair color from? Everyone of them. Filipinos have the same features. Have you ever found a secret compartment? No. If you designed a house, would you give it a secret room? I’ve seen some interesting ones on the internet that make me want a secret room of my own, but I think it’ll stay as a fantasy. Do you read horror stories? When I come across them, sure. I don’t actively look for them though. Do you ever comfort eat? Yeah, I did it a lot before quarantine. Yabu’s a great example of me comfort eating haha. Does stretching feel good? Yesssss. Do you have your wedding planned in your head already? I have scenarios that play in my head but I don’t have the specifics – color scheme, flowers, centerpieces, location, etc – mapped out yet. Would you ever adopt a child? Not my first choice. Are you ok today? I’d say so, yeah. It’s not hot today so that’s already good enough of a day for me lmao. Was the last book you read good? It was okay. It holds a great life story with okay writing. Wrestlers write autobiographies ALL THE TIME which means that not all of them will be a home run, and AJ’s was neither earth-shattering nor bad. I definitely didn’t appreciate the unintended-but-casual sexism/misogyny in it or the extreme hyperboles, but it’s AJ and I love her work nonetheless.

#survey #surveys

[whumpsical]

independent post and short continuation of a bit off a prompt i reblogged a while ago

contents: knives, blood, implications of past/future noncon, threats n power play stuff.

Morgo gets a warm welcome home from Ring after his successful escape eventually led to recapture by a third-party bounty hunter (who ignored Ring’s request to bring Morgo back completely unharmed)

🌻🌻

Ring wasn’t happy with the new marks that Morgo had amassed since his escape, but she was glad to have him back after so many months lost. And she could learn to deal with a deafened toy, but an ugly one just wouldn’t work for her purposes.

“Not that you could ever be truly ugly,” she said, gently using her thumb to trace the two lines of tender inflamed tissue that crossed just under Morgo’s swollen right eye. She tilted his head to the side then, speaking distinctly into his right ear so that he could hear every syllable. “Not to them.”

Morgo shivered. He’d escaped them. He’d been done with visitors. Ring smiled at the tears that began budding in Morgo’s eyes. She’d missed the little things.

“Oh,” she crooned, her thumb cutting a tear short in its path down Morgo’s cheek. “Don’t cry, my little monster.”

Morgo. His breath caught in his throat. Morgo. Morgo. He was not going to lose his name again. It had felt like a betrayal last time, forgetting not just the name but the person who’d created it with him. He repeated the word in his head, adamantly correcting that cruel pet name he knew he could get so accustomed to so easily.

Ring was speaking, but she’d turned away slightly and Morgo couldn’t really see her lips anymore. He only heard that new vague warbling noise with no noise attached and ignored it. It wasn’t worth the effort to try deciphering: something that he was quickly learning. He would never get it right, and it wasn’t like he wanted to know what Ring’s words were in the first place. He shut his eyes, trying to focus instead on staying calm. Ring hated it when he got frantic. 

Save that jumpy shit for your visitors. 

He hated remembering her rules, hated feeling them steadily return to his pliable brain, forcing his weak body to comply before he could even think about resisting again.

The prickly sting of a sharp blade perching on his left cheek startled Morgo’s eyes open. He whimpered without hearing it, his pathetic voice buzzing in his throat, Ring’s old purple switchblade shined in Morgo’s peripheral vision, pressed lightly against the soft untouched flesh under his left eye.

“It’s okay,” she was saying, her mouth returning to Morgo’s field of vision, “I can fix it. Some people even--” Pray for? Pay for? Prefer? “--the look of scars, did you know that?”

Morgo shook his head in micro movements, nervous about the blade but more afraid of what Ring’s reaction would be if he didn’t respond to a direct question. Another rule bubbling up to the surface of Morgo’s mind. Ring smirked. She held the knife carefully, just barely touching Morgo’s skin as she made dainty swirls with the tip of the blade.

“Have you heard of something called scarification?” The tip of the blade tickled Morgo’s cheek.

“No,” he breathed, the sound purely muscle memory. The tip of the blade nicked him, and he flinched away.

“It’s an old Human method of decorative body modification. Scars on purpose,” Ring said. She jerkingly corrected the angle of Morgo’s head, holding him strictly by the jaw. She kept him still as she slowly traced a line down the unmarked side of Morgo’s face with the cool blade of her knife, mimicking the paths of the scars on his right. Not breaking skin, only pressing down hard enough to hurt. Morgo stared at her lips, waiting tensely for any real indication that the blade would be used to draw blood instead of teasing him. “They can be very beautiful, very--” Educated? Intricate? Intriguing? “--designs. But I think, to start with…” Ring trailed off, flicking the blade across and away from Morgo’s cheek before settling it back down meticulously and certainly, centered beneath his untouched eye. “We really should even that out, shouldn’t we?”

Morgo stayed absolutely still, holding Ring’s mouth in his direct line of sight. She smiled dryly as she gently skimmed over Morgo’s cheek with her thumb, still cradling his jaw at a precise angle. Morgo’s terrified tremors were almost imperceptible, but he felt them, fear stirring up his insides. Ring pressed the knife down and Morgo shut his eyes tight as the skin under his eye stretched and surrendered to the blade.

The familiar vibration of a high pitched whine tumbled around in Morgo’s throat before Ring’s knife flew away, scraping lightly across his cheek without digging in any further, harmlessly sweeping away droplets of hot blood from the tiny cut. Morgo clenched his muscles and took a steadying breath, waiting for the next one, a deeper, more disfiguring one. Waited for her to keep carving away what remained of his worth. But Ring just let go of him and started speaking quickly. Morgo opened his eyes before he missed too much.

“--to the professionals. Relax. You know I wouldn’t screw with your pretty face, little treasure. Just…” Ring pressed her lips together thoughtfully, flipping her sticky knife into her pocket and returning a gentle hand to Morgo’s face. “Never do anything this--” Weakness? Crazy? Reckless? “--again. Or, who knows, the damage might be enough to knock down your value to a price I won’t be able to justify. You don’t want that, little monster, do you?”

“No,” Morgo muttered. A tiny drip of blood trickled down his cheek like a single tear. His head was empty. An object’s passive state of being. At least he was still worthy of being high quality.

“Do you know what that would mean for you?”

He didn’t want to be told again, but Ring’s old rule of ignorance held his tongue. But he knew. He knew.

Morgo feld real tears forming and lowered his eyes. He shook his head, the thought of assembling a vocal response too much to handle. He knew. Saltwater stung the shallow cut beneath his eye and joined with the blood for a rosé teardrop.

A muffled warble, a long pause, and Ring lifted Morgo’s gaze with a hand underneath his chin. She locked him in with a stern look and spoke again, enunciating deliberately.

“I said, be careful not to find out, then.”

~~~

The two security officers remembered him. They called out to Morgo with gross kissing noises and their own humiliating pet names in elated tones as Ring led him down the same wide hallway to his old private room. He looked away from their faces, shutting out the precise details of their welcome.

The officers followed, a little too close, petting the back of Morgo’s hair when he didn’t respond to the faint voice-like sounds that trailed behind him, until Ring shooed them back to their posts. Morgo flinched at the lightest brushes of fingers in his hair, somehow grateful for Ring’s swift authority and the strong grip she kept on his arm. He even leaned closer to her side. It seemed to encourage the security officers to stay as far away as they’d been ordered. It stood to reason that Morgo wasn’t the only one scared of Ring.

His room looked the same. No one had used it since Morgo and his last visitor. Or maybe Ring just had a very specific way of reorganizing things after each use of the room, and there had been hundreds of new people in the past few months, but you’d never be able to tell. Maybe it had always been like that. Whatever the truth was, the familiar room gave Morgo the disquieting impression that he’d never left at all.

For a second he was sure that was the case, that the last few months had been a dream. Things hadn’t been busy, and he’d had enough time by himself to fall into real sleep. Enough time to dream. And he dreamt of escape, of course. What else? He dreamt of running through shadowy neighborhoods illuminated only occasionally by the few working streetlights that were left, of knocking frantically on an endless carousel of solid doors, each one giving him the same silent response. But now he’d woken up, and every kind of response had gone silent anyway.

#whump #deaf whumpee #lady whumper #whump writing #fear #threats #hm i should write the part where he actually gets recaptured shouldnt i #eric #text #ocs #morgo #ring #test tube toys #also hey Dotty i am drawing heavy influence from u for the format of my content warnings lmao #remember how i said u are one of the most thoughtful taggers out here in the whump community #cause i never fuckn tag anything #but then u were the one getting upset anons??? what in the world #eric write

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 40)

"Rockingham, NC"

@lovemythsworld

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

Friday night at the show, The Band is phenomenal. Colson is rapid and on point, as always. The crowd, roaring for them. Acoustics are great and the whole place shakes as they sing all the lyrics to Home, Habits and Lately to him.

Luna's watching side stage with Ashleigh, singing along with her camera. She jams out as Colson RIPS through a cover of Bulls On Parade, grabbing a GREAT shot of him standing on Rook's kit. She then leans to Ashleigh saying, she's going to go get her shit together, will she please watch for her cue. Ashleigh agrees with a smile. Bobbing and singing along to the music.

-------------------------------------------

Luna's pulling lettered stickers off of a white T shirt she had spray painted a solid line of black across earlier as Ashleigh pops into Colson's dressing room for her. "Can you check me?" She asks her as she slits the bottom of the shirt up to the neckline, carefully through the letters, leaving the ring of the top neckline untouched. Ashleigh watches amused as she's now threading safety pins across the shirt. She hops up and throws it on.

"What do you think?" She asks after adjusting herself, throwing her arms out. Being a bit more conservative, Ashleigh loves Luna's style.

Her hair is loose and wild, eye makeup dark. Lips a deep purple. Littered in tattoos and jewelry, she has on leather lace up shorts with fishnet stockings and 3in, chunky, lace up, hard buckle, ankle boots. The tiny shirt is cut off to her ribs, safety pinned secure, with about an inch open, exposing her flesh. The ring of the neckline and Luna's bare, plump breasts keeping everything in place. Ashleigh grins at the white words flashing through the black spray paint as they line up perfectly.

"That's AWESOME!!! Kells is gonna love it!!" She laughs to Luna's pleasure as they head to the stage.

------------------------------------------------

The crowd is insane with Colson just finishing up Rap Devil.

"How you feelin' Fam?" He asks to their roars. "I dropped a new song today." More roars as he laughs. "You guys like it? I can tell, because it's climbing the motherfucking charts!! BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!" He shouts to the energetic room. Luna's at the piano. Stage left, crowd to her side. She starts lightly playing the chords to Bad Things.

"It means a lot to me that you guys like it." He tells his fans "Because it's a true story that I wrote with someone I love." The crowd Awws as he chuckles. "Yeeeahhh...." He says blushing "I brought her with me tonight and you guys are gonna be THE FIRST to hear it LIIIVE!!" He shouts again. The crowd goes wild as he calls to her "KICK IT, KITTEN!"

Opening with the piano, she's still in the dark.

🎶I know I'm outta my head. But I haven't lost my mind. How is it that you know the bad things I like? We're so good, I can't explain it. What can I say, it's kismet, ain't it🎶

Luna's vocals are strong enough to quiet the rowdy crowd. The spotlight shines on her as she lets out the next lines. Colson's walking towards her.

🎶All things you say. All the things you do, make me fall more in love with you. Oh, Bunny, I can't escape it. I'm all in, there is no maybe🎶

Rook rat a tat tats before slammimg in with AJ and Baze. Colson takes her hand, as she slides off the piano bench. Lights and smoke explode along with the crowd. His face lights up when he sees what she's wearing. DIABLO blazing across her chest. She knows, he knows, when she sees him beam. Colson's rapping to her, as they bop and dance with each other. Him leading her center stage. Rook knocking into his drums. They're magnetic. Bouncing together to the beat. Lights are flashing.

🎶We both bad, but it feels so good. And you "come" again, like I know you should. And we both wild. And the night's young. You're my drug. Breathe you in 'til my face numb. Drop it down to that bass drum. I got what you dream 'bout, fingers pulling my hair out. Eyes closed while you scream and shout. And you keep me in with those hips. While my teeth sink in those lips. While your body's giving me life and you suffocate in my kiss🎶

She's giving him THAT look, swirling her hips, bouncing with him as his free hand rests on one. He sings to her smiles as she backs him.

🎶Then you said I want you forever. Even when we're not together. Tattooed you on my body so I can take you wherever, Like, I want you forever. Even when we're not together, tattooed you on my body so I can look at you whenever, yeah🎶

She turns so that her back is against his chest. His hand around her waist. Their hips swaying together. Bodies throbbing for each other. She drags a hand down his face as she tilts her head back, exposing her neck. He kisses it. Giving her shivers as she sings.

🎶I know I'm outta my head. But I haven't lost my mind. How is it that you know the bad things I like? We're so good, I can't explain it. What can I say, it's kismet, ain't it🎶

She turns again and places a hand on his cheek, looking into his eyes before dropping it to his chest. Forcing him backwards. Singing only to him.

🎶All things you say. All the things you do, make me fall more in love with you. Oh, Bunny, I can't escape it. I'm all in, there is no maybe🎶

He pecks her on the lips quickly to her surprise, before she turns around. Making her giggle as she skips across stage. They separate as the crowd oozes with excitement. The Band is electric. They're on opposite sides of the stage now. Gravitating towards each other. Bouncing and bopping seductively back towards the other as he raps to her again.

🎶I can't explain it. I love our range. And I love the way your breath numbs me of novacaine. And we are, always high. Keep it strange🎶

Face to face again, Luna jumps in to harmonize with him. They sing in unison. Pushing playfully against each other. Pointing at each other.

🎶Ok, yeah, I'm insane, But you the same🎶

She beams at him, playfully pushing him away. He pulls her back, continuing as she chimes in.

🎶Let me paint the picture. Counter in the kitchen. Taking all your clothes off. Losin' our religion. You're my pretty little vixen and I'm the voice inside your head. That keeps telling you to listen to all the bad things I say🎶

Colson continues. As Luna dances loosely in his grip, both hands in the air. He sings to her again. He controls her whole body with one large hand. A thumb on her cheek bone, large fingers wrapped around her skull. Both of them are raging. She bites her lip. That ONE fucking LOOK.

🎶And you said I want you forever. Even when we're not together. Tattooed you on my body so I can take you wherever, Like, I want you forever. Even when we're not together, we're not together, tattooed you on my body so I can look at you whenever, yeah🎶

Running her thumb across his bottom lip, dragging it across his jawline. Like she did when they recorded it. Making his already hard dick bulge. The drums and the guitar are slamming together.

🎶I know I'm outta my head. But I haven't lost my mind. How is it that you know the bad things I like? We're so good, I can't explain it. What can I say, it's kismet, ain't it🎶

She snakes around him to the beat of the pounding band.

🎶All things you say. All the things you do, make me fall more in love with you. Oh, Bunny, I can't escape it. I'm all in, there is no maybe🎶

She turns to the crowd, her vocals strong and smooth before turning back to Colson. Finger guns flying again, bouncing around, making him laugh. Rook rattles with her.

🎶I'm just a LunaTic, with her Gunn. When we're together, Bad Things happen. The way you touch me, is better than ecstasy. When we're not together, I still feel you coursing through me🎶

The band kicks in hard. They're both jumping around the stage now. The room is hysterical, lights still flashing.

Playing and pushing off of each other still. Luna raises her tattooed arm high, waving it in the air. Beaming at him as they jump up and down, singing. He does it back to her delight.

🎶And you said I want you forever. Even when we're not together. Tattooed you on my body so I can take you wherever, Like, I want you forever. Even when we're not together, we're not together, tattooed you on my body so I can look at you whenever, yeah🎶

The crowd and the band are insane as Colson grabs his guitar, killing his solo. Luna belts out the lyrics, skipping back towards him pointing. She comes in belting, his guitar RIPPING through the air with her.

🎶I know I'm outta my head. But I haven't lost my mind. How is it that you know the bad things I like? We're so good, I can't explain it. What can I say, it's kismet, ain't it🎶

As she reaches him, she props her free hand on his shoulder. Dancing on him like a pole as he continues to play.

🎶All things you say. All the things you do, make me fall more in love with you.🎶

Snaking up, she looks up at him, him down at her. Both beaming.

🎶Oh, Bunny, I can't escape it. I'm all in, there is no maybe🎶

Lights and smoke are exploding again as Rook leads them out on a solo.

Both laughing, they end the song with Colson tossing the ax around his shoulder to scoop her up and kiss her. Her whole body is throbbing as she kisses him back. The crowd ringing in her ears. As she trots off stage, waving, she hears Colson yell "THAT BROOKLYN BITCH!!!" to the uncontrollable crowd.

--------------------------------------------

The band finishes with Rehab and Till I Die. Luna's watching from side stage with Ashleigh. "YOU GUYS WERE GREAT!!!" she shouts to Luna over the music. Luna beams. Hugging and thanking her. She has a joint and a bottle of Jameson. Colson walks off stage, grabs the bottle from her and promptly throws her over his shoulder. The joint stays with her.

------------------------------------------------

Passing and talking to people, he doesn't put her down until they hit the dressing room, where he plunks her on a table.

"I've been waiting to do this since I FUCKING saw you!" He exclaims. She's lighting the joint as he rips her shirt wide open. Safety pins popping and flying.

Making her squeal "MY OFFICIAL MERCH!!" Them both laughing as she lifts the joint to his mouth.

"I fucking love you." He laughs after hitting it.

"But do you love-Love me?" She teases. Cocking her head.

"Fucking right I do!" He tells her before kissing her hard. They're both sweaty and buzzing from the show.

Looking at him playfully, she hops off the table, walks across the room and bends over another table in front of the mirror.

"Ritual?" She says coyly, over her shoulder. Biting her lip.

Puffing on the joint, he takes long strides to her.

"Take 'em off." He demands with a hard ❗SLAP❗ on her leather clad ass.

"You do the FUCKING same." They both laugh, dropping their pants for the other.

Running his hand up her slender back, he passes her the joint as he slides a finger between her folds. She's soaked, just the way he likes her. He catches her off gaurd when he pushes his dick into her. Wide blue eyes, staring at him through the mirror. This turns both of them on as they begin to fuck each other smooth and hard. Passing the joint back and forth through deep strokes.

"That was fucking HOT tonight!" He pants into the mirror. Agreeing, she slams into his cock harder. After he slides his hand around her throat, it doesn't take much but her begging for them both to explode. After resting on her as they catch their breath, he kisses her bare back as always before popping his head up.

"Ready to party?" He asks her, grinning through the mirror.

--------------------------------------------

To be continued.....

#mgk smut #mgk imagine #mgk x reader #mgk #mgk fanfic #not safe for minors #not safe for tumblr #no filter #nofilter #fangirl #fantasy #fandom #fanfic #love story #lovestory #long reads #series #drugs #drinking #lunatic

[z-exo-l]

My 20 Favorite Kpop Songs of 2019

I’m a huge fan of ranking lists, so I decided to make my own music countdown for the end of the year!

Notes: I’m being a little loose w the term ‘kpop’ here, since there’s some Japanese and Chinese songs. Also this list is, shockingly, mostly comprised of SM releases. And I’m afraid there are no ballads. I’m keeping this to ‘bops,’ if you will. I’m also not a *gif maker*, so this is just a text post w some credited gif appearances. (Including some dancing gifs for the b-side tracks.)

Feel free to scroll on if you’d like, this is just some narcissistic babbling I’m doing for fun. 😇 But I don’t *really* start babbling until under the cut.

A quick mention to my darlings who blessed us with station solos before they enlisted this year: You by Xiumin. Home by Minho. And That’s Okay by D.O. 😭

Now, onto the list!

20. Savage by A.C.E

19. Jekyll by EXO

18. Love Talk by WayV

17. Famous by Taemin

16. Want by Taemin

15. Jopping by SuperM

14. Bet Bet by NU’EST

13. UN Village by Baekhyun

12. Baby You Are by EXO

11. Obsession by EXO

10. What A Life by EXO-SC

I’m so happy I finally gave our boys a listen, because omg, this song is so bouncy and fun, and so is the mv. I’m also so proud of how Sehun has grown as a vocalist! They both did an amazing job actually, and they deserve every bit of praise they’ve gotten! ❤️

9. Alligator by Monsta X

I spent ages listening to this song, trying to figure out if it was hilarious or awesome. As it turns out, both. It’s both. I really like the vocals, and it’s got a super cool mv, but...the alligator/swamp metaphor gave me giggles for weeks. Sorry guys. 😆

8. Superhuman by NCT 127

Superhuman didn’t dominate my shuffle the way later songs on the list did, but I still really like it. It’s such a happy listen; very upbeat and invigorating. ☺️ And I love how the robotic theme is integrated into the choreography, especially that head move at the chorus! I wanted to use a gif of that part but I couldn’t find one. 😭

7. Take Off by WayV

Finally listened to this one in *November*, shit, where have I been??? Take Off is great because it doesn’t *just* have memorable lyrics; the actual music behind the singing is awesome too! It’s got a sound that’s kind of reminiscent of 00’s R&B, which I love. And the vocals are very sweet, especially juxtaposed against that deeper music. The result is a smooth and sexy song that is instantly addictive. ...At least to me. 😅 And don’t get me started on that hard rock dance break!

6. Betcha by Baekhyun

My absolute favorite song from City Lights! As much as UN Village grew on me, I liked this one right away, and it only got better the more I listened. It’s totally infectious, the chorus has such a playful rhythm, and let me tell you, it’s a great song to dance to while housecleaning! I love Baek’s voice when he goes hard, *cough* Mama *cough* but he’s got an innate talent for pop songs too. Basically the man is an insanely talented singer with an absurdly wide range! Slay, Byun Baekhyun. You’re gonna be mine I–Oh baby in time I–BETCHA! AHH! I love it so much!! 😍

5. Wakey Wakey by NCT 127

Did you hear that Jay from Clerks made a cameo in an NCT mv this year?? .......... I’m sorry. The hilarity that was poor Johnny’s wig aside, this was undisputedly NCT 127’s biggest bop of the year for me! It has the play in pitch that I like, it’s fast, it’s catchy, the choreo is interesting, and omg I’m becoming such a fan of their vocal line! Jaehyun is warm and deep, Doyoung is sweet and light, and Taeil is Captain High Note! And somehow all of that skill is audible in a song that’s just a few feet away from dubstep. Well done boys!

4. Boom by NCT Dream

Like everyone else, I do believe, I fell hard for this one. In fact I’d say it’s my new favorite Dreamies song. By FAR! It’s abundantly catchy and groovy, but there’s no vocals lacking for that. (Excuse me Renjun!) The aesthetics for the mv are on point, particularly the indoor sequences. And I’m so impressed by the choreography! I’m a sucker for skillful footwork, and there are some sections near the end of the song that are so fast and so uniformly executed that they’re utterly captivating!

3. Ya Ya Ya by EXO

As of now this is definitely my favorite track off Obsession! It’s pure earworm delight, and such a pleasure to sing along to! I really like when we get unusual pair ups, so when Junmyeon and Chanyeol sing together, or when Jongin and Jongdae sing together, I love those parts! 😍 Actually I love how they structured some parts like that in general. One member sings, then another, then they sing together; repeat with two different members. To me it adds another layer of interest when you’re listening; especially given the unique combinations they used! I don’t know if this song will stay my favorite from the album, but for now it’s sitting squarely at the top! ☺️ (PS, I’m sorry, this list originally didn’t have so much EXO, but what did I think would happen when my boys released a new album!? 😭)

2. Follow by U-KNOW

NO, not Follow by Monsta X! (Tried, didn’t like it that much.) This was such a surprise hit for me, because while I like and respect TVXQ, I’m not a *fan* per se. But holy shit, this song came out of nowhere, and I immediately fell for it! The sound is incredibly cool, yet it’s almost got a spooky, haunting vibe to it? And the dancing is sublime! Seriously, if the demonstration in the mv isn’t enough for you, watch the dance practice video! Both Yunho *and* the backup dancers have such razor-sharp precision, it’s impeccable! And normally I don’t go for heavily-tuned voice effects, but they’re utilized so carefully in this song that it never becomes a distraction. And when you hear Yunho singing without the effects the tone of his voice is a great contrast to the music. My only concern is the command he issues in the lyrics: “Follow me like a robot, Follow me like a robot, touch me like a robot.” !!! I still haven’t figured out what that means! What kind of robots are touching you, man???

1. Under Cover by A.C.E

I first found this song through a K-pop quiz on YouTube. (Which is how I usually find kpop songs not released by SME) The few seconds that played from the chorus sounded promising. So I gave it a listen, and oh man, it was unbelievably banging!!! The bridge has drums build up to the chorus, where there’s a second of silence, then you’re hit with the vocals and powerful guitar riffs for maximum impact! Agh! I love rock and kpop together, and this is one of my favorite examples of that blend to date. (Save for Why So Serious by SHINee. That one’s untouchable!) The mv is relatively standard fair, but the choreography in it has some creative segments. Most of it is highly energetic too, particularly when the beat drops! And I have to say, there are some rather talented vocalists in A.C.E! Donghun caught my ear pretty quickly; he’s on the bridges of this track. Jun, the leader, also has a really good voice! He has some great adlibs near the end. Btw, I didn’t mean to bookend this list with the same group, but Savage grew on me just enough to land it at 20. Under Cover however, is such a badass, wickedly cool song, that it’s dominated my 2019 ever since I first heard it. It couldn’t be any spot but number one!

So, that’s my list. If you’re still here I hope my rambling was tolerable, or that you at least realized your own favorite kpop song from 2019!

Thanks for reading, and Happy New Year everyone! 🎉

#exo #a.c.e #wayv #taemin #super m #nu’est #baekhyun #sc #monsta x #nct #yunho #m and kpop #I talk too much #music appreciation #tag later

[rkcheri]

﹡   𝐌𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒❺ EPISODE 8    ━━  𝗥𝗢𝗬𝗔𝗟𝖥𝖫𝖴𝖲𝖧  ◆  COACH CHERI .

first place comes as a surprise -- not because mijoo didn’t see it coming, no, it definitely wasn’t that. but because she’s learned time and time again not to put her expectations too high, no matter the talent and hard work that pulses between veins and exhausted bones and beads of sweat that trembled against desperate entities. 

( a part of her wills expectations to be thin, but they rise more and more as names are called and their team has yet to come -- she sees sunmi’s team place last and her heart falls, remembering throughout the episode how hard their team worked and how much her best friend was trying, although harshly, to help them. and the way that same heart flutters at the sight of mason, his smile as his team, trc -- antidote -- receives third place )

she wants to hope the best for them, she wills it in every way she can, dashing hearts, crossing fingers -- sprinkling mythical fairy dust in every corner of her mind up until the winners are announced. they’ve worked hard for this, but mijoo has tasted victory once before and lost it all in the same breath. it’s why, watching the show in real-time with nayoung, she’s on edge; fingers clutching tightly to her member’s as they baek jiyoung recited the first place of the night and ultimately, who would be departing from them. 

it’s bittersweet -- a perfect win with a devastating loss paired with it.

mijoo didn’t see it coming, she couldn’t -- wouldn’t dream of assuming who out of the five would leave them but there he goes, his whimsical smile last seen moments before his name is called and mijoo has her breath caught between a gasp and a choked up sob. 

she barely hears the rest of the monologue go by -- negating her attention elsewhere now, fingers loose from nayoung’s hold to grab her phone and immediately text a message to hyojin. 

( after she had left their last run through of their stage, she had distributed her cell phone to each -- inciting that if ever they needed someone to talk to, whether to calm their nerves or to recommend a good chicken place, she was always free to message. emergency or not, mijoo left her line open. only now, it seemed she would have to reach out first )

﹡* ❪  SMS ☎︎ ┊  김효진  ❫  ⨯

… 💌 ᵎ  i just saw the last episode, you did amazing, hyojin-ssi! … 💌 ᵎ  this may be the end for you on the mgas, but please know that a good opportunity is always around the corner! … 💌 ᵎ  if you still feel bad, i’ll treat you to ice cream next time, yes?

it’s the least she can do, she knows loss well. she’s felt it to the bone -- seen it in the eyes of her team many moons ago. mijoo had hoped to never feel it again, but as she sees the rest of the taped episode go by, she knows this is the last she’ll keep her hopes up so high.

                                            ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

but first place was first place and mijoo still thought winners deserved to celebrate. it’s why, when the topic had come up among the coaches -- all in favor of ice cream cake -- it was decided instantly, that while the winners could have their cake, it wouldn’t be fun to just let them eat it like that, right?

a plan is set into motion: a small prank to congratulate them on all their hard work. while mijoo wasn’t one to overly praise, she did think such achievements deserved their own rewards. so, when the day came -- she comes flying into the room, singing her own little tune, a little too happily, a little too ‘clumsily’ she comes, swinging this way and that as she comes closer and closer to the little group until her words stop and she’s ready to hand over the cake to the first to come her way. 

and it’s a one-two exchange, one she doesn’t usually mess up but -- oops! there goes her fingers and oh no! there goes the cake. 

 by the way her facial expressions pull into a look of horror, mirrored heavily upon the other��s faces, mijoo can’t help the way her lips threaten to spill into laughter rather than the exaggerated ‘o’ they fell into at the get-go. 

it was priceless, watching them in unison stare in horror as the cake fell from grace -- kyungsoo was hilarious as he stood, arms outstretched, like the cake would just reverse back and fall into his hands, instead -- even to mijoo’s eye, she felt her own stomach plummet at the sight of a delicious cake going to waste but alas, all in the name of comedy. an entire gotcha! moment that spills into laughter as she tries to stop the giggles from over taking her. it’s quickly relieved when seolhyun and wonwoo come in after her with another cake, resolving the fiasco that was the ‘fallen cake’ mission 001. ( that doesn’t save her from sighing, in the end, as she cleans up the rest of the cake, piling it into the box it had fallen from ) 

time moves on, all is forgiven ( at least that’s what mijoo thinks ) as they’re giving their slices and seated across from one another. enjoying their time, their victory in the end when eric suggests calling hyojin and mijoo finds herself growing lighter. another bittersweet feeling taking over as she forks one helping after another between her lips as she hears the tone beep, waiting for the receiver to answer: and he does before long, and mijoo can’t help but smile at the sight of him beaming at them without fail.

it sucks, that he’s not there with them but she hopes it’ll pass, the guilt. 

( it will, she thinks, it has to )

“don’t worry, hyojin-ssi! when this is all over, we’ll go out for cake, all of us -- together!”

                                          ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

 in the same breath, cake and all, they’re still as serious as ever. it’s a determination that mirrors the one mijoo had felt the week before but this time, she feels the chills. the determination to do better than the last, to prove that last week wasn’t a fluke -- that they weren’t just going to be complacent because of this win. 

song choices are hard to come by. when they agree on one, they’re far too contemplative on another. and by some force, mijoo finds herself throwing in the suggestion of adding a feminine element, they have been dominantly suggesting male songs, and while they had one girl: pretty heejin-ssi, she thought it would be interesting if ... -- perhaps ... “a girl group, maybe?” and she waits, with expectant eyes as the group digests her words.

( they end up agreeing on she’z ‘luv’ and mijoo couldn’t have been more ecstatic -- if the mimicing of the iconic L-O-V-E hand movements wasn’t a tell-tale sign )

                                         ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

as choreography goes, mijoo is no where near as athletic as any of the team. watching, and grimacing, when seolhyun brings up the idea of doing squats in order to build the muscle and endurance in order to pull of the more complicated movements at the beginning of the performance.

purposely pretending not to notice the look seolhyun passes her way when she brings it up -- personally praying she’s not forced to participate for team morale. ( thanking god when the day passes and she seems to be saved from the torture that would come to her thighs )

in the days leading up to the performance, while she’s not as busy seolhyun or wonwoo, she’s still confined by her own practices; running back and forth from the practice rooms to the vocal lessons that when she’s able to come visit the team while the other coaches are away, it’s at a time when they’re doing the dread squats seolhyun had suggested and mijoo can’t help but laugh ( trying with utmost care to not sound like some wicked stepmother as she did so ) at the sight: one by one, the four of them were lined up doing squats all while harmonizing various parts of their song ( a practice mijoo had suggested after the four had finished singing flo-rida’s low for the millionth time ) ; phone in hand as she filmed footage to send to the coach group chat she shared with seolhyun and wonwoo. 

an attached ‘🤪🦵🦵 LEG DAY FOR DAYS’ comment sent along with the video shortly after.

                                      ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

perhaps, saying all was forgiven was spoken too soon. let it be known now, mijoo wasn’t partial to scary things.

she did not take kindly to being scared.

whether intentional or not, all she can remember is the memes that followed her ridiculous screams during royal survival. honestly, she had thought her screaming career had ended then and there. dusted her hands of anything scary and that was that.

but here it is, in plain sight -- hidden beneath smiles and false senses of securities as she and ella are walking, talking simultaneously -- an unfortunate rookie move in this case -- as the door is pushed open and --

“boo!” 

she’s immediately collapsing on the floor, crawling backwards into the hall, screaming at the top of her godly lungs, “DEMONS! DEMONS!” -- her might propelling whatever sound could come from her all while pointing a finger into the room. it was a dirty trick and one mijoo probably should have saw coming but that didn’t mean she couldn’t still feel hurt by it.

her hurt is shown in the case of pouts and the tears that were rounding tear-ducts as she’s helped up from her fetal position at the other side of the hallway by suwoong. she’s still sniffling, fingers to her heart, hoping to calm it’s racing pulse, all while mumbling, “i forgive you but that was really, really mean.”

                                     ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

one day, it’s a day of reminiscing -- and while most days, all mijoo does is avoid it. today, she finds her peace and laughs at the memories that flood her.

they’re wonderful memories, days that started her journey -- that led her all the way to here. she opens up like a book untouched, dust in the air as she breathes in the memories and laughs along the way. “my favorite performance?” she sighs, head shaking. “it’s been years. let it be known that i participated way back when in 2013 during the first mgas, so i’m not sure how relevant the performance is these days but it was our final performance. i was on a team with eclipse’s haseul, too. we performed after school sunbaenim’s ‘because of you’ and surprisingly, i rapped. i know, shocker, right? but i think that’s my most memorable because it definitely pushed my limits. we were fighting for our dreams, much like you guys are now -- and the only way we knew to win was to fight it with every inch of our potential.”

“just like how i see you guys do, every single day you come to practice. just like how i know you guys will when you get up on that stage saturday.” 

and while it’s not a promise for the better, mijoo knows ( she digresses, hopes ) there’s no regrets to follow.

                                          ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

it’s too soon -- smooth sailing is an assumed default and mijoo is a fool to take to this carefree nature.

when they come for another visit, to supervise the practice again, the team announces they’ve changed the plan for the finale. this shocks them all.

enough that mijoo finds herself making a face, one that doesn’t hide her skepticism as they show her just what they meant by changing the performance. 

and of course, it was a joke.

but maybe, just maybe, it was the first time, mijoo almost felt the flame of frustration strike a chord in her ( one that was quick to be extinguished once the laughter had put a dent in the wall and allowed the flood of jest to overcome them one by one ).

again, mijoo comes with a pout -- and a, “yah! that was mean! i thought you guys were really serious!”

                                           ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

in the days leading up to the performance, she’s more and more scarce as her own schedules take time away from helping but she does what she can. and she hopes that’s enough. on one of the last days, she lingers to the side; not saying much rather than watching them proceed again and again. not to the point of exhaustion but she can see their profiles well, see the improvement flexed into their bodies at each performed segment.

they’re trying their hardest, much like last week.

hopefully, this final time, victory treats them just the same. 

                                          ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━      

𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐃   ∙    @rkella, @haseulrk, @rkmiya, @rkmason@rkwon, @hyojinrk, @rksuwoong, @rkkyungsoo, @rkheejin, & @ericxrk

#rkmga5 #solo #rkmga5finale #rkella #rkwon #rksuwoong #rkkyungsoo #rkheejin #ericxrk #rkmason #haseulrk #rkmiya #small mentions here and there! #gif!credit: miyanegifs/mijoo75

[suga-ssi]

I’ve only recently discovered bts and haven’t been able to stop listening to them. They’ve been around a lot longer than I realised and was wondering If you’d be able to explain some things about them, how they became bts. Traits that you’ve noticed they all have?

Oh wow! hahaha Hi! Welcome to the BTS Fandom! Fans are called ARMY. Yes, BTS literally has an ARMY of followers. (notice me not explaining what ARMY means lmao). While starting to write this, I realized I could write a whole book about it, which honestly, some people have. LMAO So I’ll try and make this informative starting with the foundations of BTS, the members, and the official links LMAO I also tagged some bias tumblr pages and group update pages.

Foundations:

Also, yes! BTS has been an active idol group since 2013. They had their first live stage on June 13, 2013.  They are managed by a company called BigHit and was founded by a famous Korean composer named, Bang Shihyuk, more known in the K Music industry as Hitman Bang. The company itself was small and didn’t have big artists on it’s roll and roster yet, but the members and Bang PD took a chance on each other.

They had very humble beginnings. BigHit didnt have their own building, instead they rented some floors in one building. One floor was an office space, one was a practice studio, small room for recording, small rooms for production. The members themselves had to fit in one small bedroom with 3 double deck beds and a small solo bed for Jungkook.

They first introduced themselves through a series of Vlogs before they even debuted as BTS, which actually means 방탄소년단 Bangtan Sonyeondan (Bulletproof Boyscouts). Initially, they were supposed to debut as a rap group but the company decided on making them an idol group. 

Their music has always been targeted towards the millenial age group and their lyrics aspire to inspire the youth. They did produce a number of love songs that were pretty usual for kpop idols but as they found their voice and produced their own music, more of their colors as individuals shone through. They sang and wrote about their struggles, hopes, dreams, which a lot of us can relate to.

Members: 

(leader, then in order of age, except suga last… cause… my favorite lmao)

All the members are quite filial, always talking about their family. They are also very humble are always in awe of how much they have achieved together. Their loyalty and care for each other is very apparent in the way they interact. They all have a good, weighted understanding of music and desire for growth in their skills. 

Kim Namjoon (김남준 aka RM, formerly Rap Monster) 

position: leader, rapper

bday: September 12, 1994

height: 181 cm (5’11.3”)

family: parents, younger sister

hometown: Ilsan

BT21 character: Koya

Born in Ilsan, he is a smart cookie and an avid reader. It is a fact that his IQ grade is 148 and that along with his rapping prowess, made him a standout even as a rookie idol. He is also known as the English speaker of the group. According to him, he learned by watching the series FRIENDS and listening to western music. Before being part of BigHit, he was already gaining ground as an underground rapper under the name “Runch Randa” in 2007. He was only in middle school.

RM decided to join a rap crew called “Daenamhyup,” which consisted of some of the top underground rappers. RM then auditioned for another rap group which is where he met Untouchable’s Sleepy who was so impressed with him and he passed him onto Bang Shi Hyuk.

Bang PD basically created the whole idea of BTS around RM. He said that the moment he met RM he knew that he was special and it would be a waste of skill to not hone his talent. 

RM now has the most production credits for the lyrics he writes and songs he produced for BTS. His lyrics are very poetic and are usually profound, finding root in various forms of literary works. He has a very commanding stage aura when he raps.

He has released 2 mixtapes so far.  His first mixtape RM was released on March 17, 2015 and his second, Mono was released last year, October 23, 2018. His studio is now Rkive (formerly Mon studio).

Personality wise, Namjoon is more timid than his stage persona. He enjoys quiet morning walks in nature. His song Reflection even has a layer of one of his recordings of his surrounding while at a park. He is very clumsy, hence his nickname in the group as “god of destruction”. He also has a very interesting take on fashion which you can see from his #kimdaily posts on twitter.

If you’d like to know more about RM I suggest you follow @kimdaily​

Kim Seokjin (김석진 aka Jin)

position: eldest, vocalist

bday: December 4, 1992

height: 179 cm (5’10.5”)

family: parents, older brother

hometown: Gwacheon

BT21 character: RJ

Though Seokjin is the eldest member of BTS, he often doesn’t act like it. He was street casted by BigHit. Idol companies usually do this in Korea when they find someone with standout visuals in a crowd. He was actually scouted by SM too (company managing EXO) but he thought it was a scam and he never showed up. He took his chances with BigHit. 

He had no singing nor dancing exprience when he started training with BigHit. He wanted to be an actor. All of his skills come from sheer determination and hardwork. In my opinion, he has the most emotional voice among the members. His range has developed immensely. 

Despite having a cheerful and light hearted persona, he is actually really deep and smart. He graduated from Konkuk University last February 22, 2017 with a degree in Film and Visual Arts and majored in Film and Acting. He was part of the early admissions list and is now taking his Masters degree for Film in Hanyang Online University. 

Personality wise, he is loud and playful. He is also easily surprised. He gained the nickname “Worldwide Handsome” after his visuals and confidence made people pay attention during one of the red carpets in the US. His father is apparently a CEO and his mother is a beauty queen.

He said he gained his confidence after bleaching his hair blonde and gaining much reaction during their live performance of “FIRE” where he gave air kisses. To top his amazing visuals and vocals, he also plays the piano and the guitar. Oh! And he has a sugarglider as a pet. No joke. 

If you’d like to know more about Jin I suggest you follow @jinfesta

Jung Hoseok (정호석 aka J-Hope)

position: rapper, lead dancer

bday: February 18, 1994

height: 177 cm (5’9.7”)

family: parents, older sister

hometown: Gwangju

BT21 character: Mang 

Jhope, also called fondly by the members as Hobi and Hoseoki, is the lead dancer of BTS. He had no rapping experience prior to training with Bighit and was initially trained to be a vocalist. 

He was fairly known in the dance scene of his hometown and was even a part of a dance crew called “Neuron”. His love for dancing led him to audition as a trainee at a company called JYP (company that manages GOT7). He passed a few auditions there but was eventually cut as a trainee. 

He didn’t give up though and went on to audition for BigHit. He started training as a vocalist for the supposed rap group which included RM and Suga, but due to the influence of the rap trainees around him, his affinity for rap and lyric writing grew.

He is now in charge of dance for BTS and though he doesn’t get much center formation attention or spotlight, everyone knows that he is the one helping the most with choreographies and training each member. He is very detail oriented and is very observant of each member. Namjoon even said that if he wasn’t the leader, he would want Jhope to be the leader. 

He has a number of production credits too and released his own mix tape, Hope World on March 1, 2018. His studio is also called Hope World.

He has a very smiley persona and his energy is always alive. He is also the most easily scared, he is scared of almost everything! The members said that his happy persona came with the name, not that he was named Jhope for how he has always been. Jhope said that the name used to be burdensome but now he loves it and wears it with pride as the Hope of ARMY and BTS. 

If you’d like to know more about Hobi I suggest you follow @hobies 

Park Jimin (박지민 aka Jimin)

position: vocalist, main dancer

bday: October 13, 1995

height: 173cm (5’8.1″)

family: parents, younger brother

hometown: Busan

BT21 character: Chimmy

Park Jimin is arguably one of the most charismatic idols out there right now. His duality of being sexy on stage and fluffy cute off stage make fans everywhere melt. This characteristic is shared mostly by the Maknae line (younger members line) of BTS. 

He has had the shortest trainee period among the BTS members. before he joined Bighit, he attended the Busan High School of Arts, where he was a top student in the Department of Dance. His specialty is contemporary. One of his teachers urged him to audition for BigHit. His natural skills got him in. He trained as a vocalist under BigHit and now his vocal skills has improved largely as shown by his solo works.

He used to have chubby cheeks which earned him the nickname of Manggaettok (rice cake) and the members also call him ChimChim because of a show they had called American Hustle Life. 

He is the most active on social media. He even posts for other members when the fans say they haven’t seen the members for too long. Most affectionate member also goes to him. He is often seen hugging or clinging on to the members. If a member cries, best believe Jimin will hug and comfort them after. 

But Jimin isn’t all sweets, smiles, and sexiness. He is also very strong willed. He judges himself very harshly and strives for perfection. Lately, he has appeared to be more relaxed and said that he has been allowing himself to take breaks and also enjoy, which the fans who worry about him is very happy to know. 

If you’d like to know more about Jimin I suggest you follow @jimiyoong and @jiminrolls

Kim Taehyung (김태형 aka V)

position: vocalist

bday: December 30, 1995

height: 178 cm (5’10.1″)

family: parents, younger brother, younger sister

hometown: Born in Daegu, grew up in Geochang, went back to Daegu to study

BT21 character: Tata

The most handsome male specimen in the world for the year 2017. Kim Taehyung’s charms are endless. From his square shaped sheepish smile to his deadly on-stage smirks, it’s hard not to be drawn in by him. 

He wasn’t planning on auditioning. He accompanied his friend who wanted to audition. The auditions were held in their school because he went to an arts HS.  The staff saw him there and convinced him to audition too. He trained his voice under BigHit too and now has the widest vocal range among them, not to mention his deep, soulful baritone balances out the vocals of the rest of the singing members. 

He has a very keen eye for arts and aethetitics and he uses this for his hobby, photography. His favorite photographer, Vante even acknowledged his work. Tae-Tae, as Jimin fondly calls him, is the only one so far who has debuted as an actor among the members. He played the role of a young warrior in the series called Hwarang. His dancing has also improved. He didn’t have much dancing skills when he started, but his groove has now definitely changed and he has his own way of interpreting dance moves too.

In terms of lyrics writing and producing, like the other vocalists, his skills developed too. He co-wrote 4 o’ clock with RM and has continued to take part in writing for their songs.

Taehyung is very curious and unique. His laugh is deep and adorable. As part of the maknae line, he is also quite playful but his maturity has grown through the years. He has a pomeranian named Yeontan (coal brick), who is now one of the pets of the fandom.

If you’d like to know more about TaeTae I suggest you follow @twoy​ and @bwiae​. 

Jeon Jungkook (전정국 aka Jungkook)

position: vocalist

bday: September 1, 1997

height: 178 cm (5’10.1”)

family: parents, older brother

hometown: Busan

BT21 character: Cooky

The baby of the group, Kookie. He is a well trained dancer with the smooth pop voice that carries most of the melodies of Bangtan’s songs. 

Before joining BigHit, Jungkook auditioned for a talent show in Korea called SuperstarK. He didn’t make the cut for the show, but after the audtion, he received a number of calling cards from scouts of different big K-Idol companies, including the very small BigHit. Jungkook said that he chose BigHit because he was very impressed by RM. After he joined BigHit, he had the opportunity of being trained in LA for dance.

He has a tendency of starting different projects for himself, playing the drums, the guitar, etc. But, he found his niche in film production and even has his own brand of behind the scene footages of BTS under his production brand, Golden Closet Films.

He has been called the golden maknae because of his natural skills and visuals fit for being an idol, not to mention that body and his determination to keep working out for it. No wonder companies were eager to train him. 

Jungkook has been growing in his music production too and has helped compose, produce and write some of their songs, like their song, Magic Shop. He is a powerhouse on stage and baby our of it. He looks up to his hyungs a lot and said that they basically brought him up since he started training at such a young age. 

If you’d like to know more about Kookie I suggest you follow @aurjeon​, @nochuie​ and @jjks​

Min Yoongi (민윤기 aka SUGA)

position: rapper

bday:March 9, 1993

height: 174 cm (5’8.5″)

family: parents, older brother

hometown: Daegu

BT21 character: Shooky

Suga’s love for music was developed at an early age. When he was 13 he started working at a studio to learn more about music production. As the years progressed he joined an underground rap group in Daegu called “D-Town.” And even before auditioning for BigHit, he has created beats for various underground big names in hiphop. 

He auditioned through a hiphop competition called “Hit It” and he placed 2nd over all. He initially joined the company as a producer but Bang PD was able to convince him to be part of BTS. He still jokes that Bang PD tricked him into joining cause he thought it was going to be a rap group. 

Though his outward demeanor seems cold and lazy, the members actually talk about how he spends most of his time working at his studio and going home when the sun comes up. He may also seem timid but he has been vocal about various social issues like LGBT, poverty and education. He has also made it a personal traidtion to donate to charities or gift fans on his birthday.

He released his mixtape Agust D on August 15, 2016. There he opened up about his struggle with mental health and his view of himself. He also narrated his journey to becoming part of BTS. His studio is called “Genius Lab.” 

To date, Yoongi has helped in producing and writing a number of BTS songs too. He also produced a song titles Wine with K singer Suran which topped various Korean charts. It was in the end lauded and he received his first solo award for production. Hence his nickname, Min PD.

P.S.: I love him. LMAO

Official Links:

To learn more and get updates about BTS, I suggest you follow these blogs : @bangtan​, @allforbts​, @bts-trans​, @bts-fc​

BTS Youtube - for Bangtan Bombs (additional behind the scene stuff)

BigHit Youtube - MVs and other official vids (trailers and teasers)

BTS Vlive - for BTS Variety shows

BTS Twitter - members posts

BTS BigHit Twitter - official updates

Website

Instagram

Official Blog

Spotify

Sound Cloud - for music they don’t release in albums

If you want to know more… cause, ISTG… there is sooo much more! Feel free to dm me.. hahaha I love helping out new ARMYS.

#ask #answer #bts 101 #anon #new army

[samuelandthewilburbots]

One Year in Music: Week 12

Howdy folks, happy Spring! This week’s track is called, Worthless. I started this song on January 9th, 2013. At that time it was just a keyboard chord progression and some weird synths I was trying out, and it was called Casino Floor because some of the synths reminded me of slot machine noises. It sat on my computer untouched and unopened until this winter. Finishing an old song that was forgotten about feels good, I feel like a detective erasing the victim’s name from a whiteboard after solving the case. Did I do it properly? Did I do it justice? Was it all a giant waste of time because nobody will ever even listen to it? Whose to say!

Inspiration:

I got the idea for this song while re-listening to the keyboard progression on a loop. It was after a long day of teaching and I was feeling frustrated.  I let my stream of conscious take over. I kept returning to the phrase, “So, I guess, it sucks, when you don’t listen to me, when I’m here, upfront, with my guts, and they’re spilling out of me”. That was me reflecting on the day, standing in front of a classroom and looking around and half of my students are on their phone or talking over you. It’s definitely a shitty feeling. I know not to take it personally, but that is always what it feels like.  Maybe I’m just being needy. Then I think back to when I was a student and I was always playing games on my graphing calculator and not listening, so it checks out. Kids don’t want to listen to adults, especially when they have a device where they can play Fortnight, Madden, talk to their friends, listen to music, or watch Rick and Morty. It’s hard to compete with that kind of entertainment. All I had was Tetris, Uncle Worm, and Fall Down on my Ti-83 and that was infinitely better than listening to any adult.

The rest of the song is about dealing with your legacy. Will you be remembered, will you quickly be forgotten, will you be filled with regrets on your deathbed? My favorite line of the song is, “Do you remember life before your born, can you sense your loved ones mourn, or does it all  resemble just a dream? I want my purpose to have meaning.” I love to ask questions about death because they are unanswerable, but you can make some connections. I don’t remember anything that happened before I was born, is that what death will feel like? That’s the closest I’ve been to experiencing death, not being a live. If that’s what death is like, then all of a sudden, it doesn’t seem so scary. I’ve already experienced that. In fact, I was not living for billions of years. It was pretty chill tbh. It was way less stressful than being alive and being a teacher. That brings me to the last line, “I want my purpose to have meaning.” I desperately want my life’s work to be validated. I want the hard work I’ve put in and the good deeds I’ve done to be worthwhile, I want their to be a payoff. I want to see the fruits of my labor, I want to have made a difference, I want to leave this earth in better shape than I found it (not flat).

Process:

The Verses melody formed within the first 5 minutes of re-examining this song. Usually I can come up with a few different melodies for a verse but I couldn’t escape the first thing that came to my head. It felt very natural, so I embraced it. The chorus and the bridge however took weeks. I found multiple progressions that worked but nothing felt big like a chorus should. I eventually stumbled on the Chord progression Dmaj, f#min, bmin, Amaj and it sounded cool. I then came up with the chorus riff which I think is really catchy. However, the song is in the key Amaj and the chorus is Dmaj. I feel like the transition works, but it definitely shifts the tone and vibe of the song when the chorus hits. The chorus is also a little out of my vocal range so I tried it at two different octaves, and I still don’t know if I found it. This song doesn’t excite me as much as some of the others this year, but there are definitely some really cool instrumental parts and I love lyrics about death and the afterlife.

Lyrics:

So I guess it sucks You never got to dream The best out of luck Well I never disagree I respectfully disagree

What am I gonna leave behind If I live, and when I die What will all of this really even mean I look back on the life I've lead I'm filled with hope and filled with dread When I wake up in my death bed out at sea I hope my purpose has a meaning I'm not a worthless human being Something I had never seen before today You were drowning I was drowning off the coast of LA Something was missing, somethings was wrong baby I could tell You were drowning I was drowning, yeah we both needed help So I guess it sucks When you don't listen to me When I'm  here, up front, with my guts       And they're Spilling out of me I guess I'm really needy From here we move to the after life Without conscious without sight You can make it whatever you want it to be Do you remember life before your born   Can you sense your loved ones mourn Or does it all resemble just a dream I want my purpose to have meaning

I had never told you a lie You promised me It's something that we never would try You promised me, We were still both traumatized You promised we would stay You promised me we'd stay

Something I had never seen before today You were drowning I was drowning off the coast of LA Something was missing, somethings was wrong baby I could tell You were drowning I was drowning, yeah we both needed help 

Thanks to the 4 people who listened to my last song! I really appreciate it. If you got any feedback, comment or DM me! Thanks again!

#Music #singer/songwriter #songwriting blog #minneapolis #minneapolis music #Indie Rock #Indie Pop

[theparaminds]

Have you ever awoken from a dream only to feel as though reality is weak in comparison to your own mind’s landscape? Maybe you realized that living and feeling like a dream is the goal to it all. That’s what, overall, Instupendo understands and holds close, that dreams are an extension, and an improvement, upon reality. And with his music, he opens the door to our fleeting mental dimensions. 

His production doesn’t depend on making you cry or over think. Instead, it only pushes you to feel less, while becoming a state of higher being. All starting in the ears, the sonics numb the fingers and toes while disintegrating anxiety, replacing it with nirvana. Through Instupendo’s music, every breath feels as fresh as an August morning void of care or concern. 

In the few minutes his songs exist, a new world is built. It is one of the freedom and honesty that cannot exist within reality, but only in our mind’s eye. We are taken deeper into the depths of our creation and individuality. In truth, Instupendo is a guide to a universe beautiful and pure, one untouched by the fear and uncertainty omnipresent daily, in times desperate for artistic relief.

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how have you been?:

My day’s going pretty smoothly. I’m currently nursing an iced coffee at my kitchen table with some candles lit. Besides that, I can finally step out without a coat for the first time in months so you could say I’m doing alright.

To really kick things off at the beginning, in your eyes, what was the moment where you got your first inkling towards music and art in general, and how did you realize it was something you wanted to pursue?

I was surrounded by all kinds of music growing up, everything from my sisters’ 2002s RnB CDs to Björk to Etta James. I first really started to develop my own taste in music in middle school, when I was getting into bass music. As a 12-year-old it was exciting to hear sounds that were like something out of a video game. I realized pretty quickly that I had access to all the tools my favorite artists had, and I immediately jumped into making terrible electronic music. Music as a career was a thought that didn’t come until I was halfway through high school and it was becoming an actual possibility for me. I’m still trying to figure out what “music as a career” means though.

At that time, and as you were growing up, what did the art and sound mean to you and how did it shape your adolescence and development as an individual?

Creating music gave me a place to experiment and excel in a way that felt fun and productive, it was an escape from the mundane parts of adolescence. It actually helped me to survive high school, both because it was a nice way to kick back at a time when I didn’t entirely fit in, but also because I was able to get school credit for writing and putting out my last two releases.

As well through that period of discovery and development, who was your single greatest hero in life and what about them made you look up to who they are?

From 12-15, it could have been Skream, Phonat, KOAN Sound, any of those guys. The whole bass community was embracing the rapidly advancing world of music tech, and it was so inspiring to me to hear so many artists make music, unlike anything I’d ever heard before. They’re not as influential on my music as some others these days, but they were definitely beacons of light for a younger me.

How would you compare the challenges you were facing artistically back in those earlier days compared to yourself now as an older, more mature, and more established artist? Or are they similar and constant in your artistic life?

Most of the challenges I was facing early on had to do with my lack of technical understanding of electronic music clashing with my desire to make everything from scratch. I still have that problem sometimes, but I’m more versed in how music technology works now. One of the biggest changes I made over the past year was switching from FL Studio to Ableton, which felt necessary since I was moving towards a different style of production and live performance. Artistically though, I’ve never really had many setbacks, pretty much everything I do can be done from a bedroom.

And as another comparison, what would you say the biggest difference is between that original artistic vision to the one you hold today? What is the message you’re attempting to put forth with the new sounds you’re creating as opposed to those of yesterday?

I think the biggest shift my creative vision has gone through over time is the shift towards intention. Now that I’ve been around a bit longer and heard some more music than 13 years old me, I have more context for where my music belongs in the general stratosphere of sound. The instrumental music I was making prior to this release probably came off as pretty aimless, but I’ve always tried to tell stories of a gentle yet complex life with my music… adding the vocal layer helped reveal a different facet to these stories.

It goes without saying that the release of Cinderella today is very different due to the addition of vocals from yourself. How did you come to the point of comfort with this side of yourself and how do you feel it adds to the story you’re hoping to tell?

I never really decided, “okay, time to sing”, it was just something that I kind of walked into. Experimenting with vocal processing over the course of nearly a year eventually landed me on both a point of comfort with my voice and a direction for my music I was happy with. Ultimately, I found that I had something to say that I couldn’t accomplish purely through instrumentals. I want my music to reach people like me.

With the song itself, what drew you towards the concept of a Cinderella and what does it reflect within your life and what you’ve felt while creating and writing it?

‘Cinderella’ is about the feeling of being “a princess” around someone -- that you’re both protected and respected -- like nothing else in the whole world. I’m still pretty new to these feelings, but I wanted to write something that tried described this.

As you continue down the more lyrical path, where do you believe more of your lyrical inspiration will come from? Do you see yourself as one who uses past experience or more so personal feelings and anxieties to create the words you do?

At the moment, inspiration comes from both past and current experiences, and the feelings that result from them. It’s easier to tell a story that I know by heart.

If you could take one film and completely strip it of all its music and then replace it with some that you create either for it or insert what you have already made, what film would you choose and why do you believe your style matches and resonates with it?

I don’t know how closely the film resonates with my style, but I would have loved to compose the soundtrack for “Your Name”. The sentiment conveyed in that movie dances right on the fine line of not taking itself seriously and seriously melancholy, which is right where I want my music to fall. I love films with tender orchestral soundtracks, but I often wonder what they’d sound like if they were backed with softer electronic scoring? Maybe one day I can make it happen.

Looking forward into this year, what are the most important goals for you to hit and what plans do you have in terms of your creative output? Or are you someone who more so goes with the flow?

I’m generally the kind that just floats with the currents, but I do have goals. Since this project is a big step for me, I’m trying to see how far I can get it out there. Aside from that I’m really just trying to write music with my friends, and make new friends. Music is most enjoyable for me when I’m working with artists who are pushing the envelope.

And beyond the future itself, what do you hope that the Instupendo legacy and core message continues to be? What is it that you hope to be remembered and known for beyond your own time?

Above all, I want my music to be something that people will look back at with soft-hearted thoughts, something that can be shared with the next generation of listeners. What people associate my music with though? That’s up to them. I just hope it’s something gentle and sweet.

Do you have anyone to shout out? The floor is yours...

My work ethic recently has been hugely inspired by chef Jiro Ono, I hope to one day have complete control over my focus the same way he does. So shout out to him I guess.

LISTEN TO ‘CINDERELLA’

Follow on Instagram and Twitter

Listen on Spotify and Soundcloud

Words and Interview by Guy Mizrahi

Photos by Michael Tian

[allthingsakali]

AKALI GRACES THE COVER OF HIGH CUT! 

For the January 16th through January 31st edition of High Cut, the self-proclaimed villainous monarch graced the cover. Making her comeback in Dec, on her very own birthday, she dropped an unheard of four album collection for her fans who waited an entire two years without a single word from the woman. While retaining her style, she showed off many different idols in different lights and the collection was well received by the public for the first time in her career. The collection has since sold out twice, with the demand for a third stock still very high. Public opinion has been shifted slowly in favor of Akali, since she signed on to film Romance and Idol, as well as her own reality show upcoming on January 18th. 

Will we be seeing a lot of you this coming 2019? 

AKALI: Considering how packed my January is, then also my February, and so is my March. I suspect there’s gonna be a lot of me and others everywhere. I went from doing nothing at all, expect things behind the scenes to a CEO and making a ‘comeback’ on my birthday and then being packed to the brim and honestly, I’m not sure which one I prefer. 

I think you are under a lot of pressure as a CEO and an artist. How do you release your stress?

AKALI: Dancing. Even though dancing is part of my career, it’s the one thing that’ll relax me. I tend to hold up in a practice studio for a full day and come out with an entirely new piece of choreography at the end that I’ll put up on youtube. Dancing is my one true love. But I also like to sit and watch really awful movies, like Sharknado in my free time. Then there’s the home shopping network? I can waste hours watching that, and buying s*** I don’t need. Am I allowed to curse, are you going to censor me?

You are well known as being intimidating, and hard to talk to, as well as rude. Is that true?

AKALI: I’ve got the biggest resting b**** face on the planet, but honestly, I mostly just don’t like being around a lot of people at a time. I feel uncomfortable when there are a lot of people crowded around me, or if I’m in a situation where I have to interact with a bunch of people. I’m also really awkward when approached, so I guess I come off as hard to talk to because I just never know what to say. But on the rude part, as long as you respect my personal space and don’t try and touch me, I’m fine. I’m rude to the fans and people who want to just grab onto my hand or invade my bubble. I really don’t like when people do things like that, so I snap back at them. 

Isn’t that the price of fame? 

AKALI: No, what the f***. Not at all. I don’t think I should lose basic human rights just because I’m ‘famous’, and I’m using that term lightly. You don’t want random people coming up and touching you, or trying to find where you live, or invading your private space because they want a picture. Why should I? All you have to do is ask politely, sometimes I don’t want to take any pictures or maybe I’m out with family or friends and it’s just not the right time or place. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. If you don’t respect me, then how can you expect respect back? 

Very valid point. Did you have a dream before you became who you are today? I’m not sure how to refer to you, as an idol or an artist, or just a CEO.

AKALI: Truthfully, I never thought I’d have a hand in running an entire company but I always knew I’d end up somewhere in the entertainment field. I was very confident in that. I was determined to be a dancer, it was only when I came to Korea that I discovered the stage and rapping. Also, I’m an artist. I’m not an idol, though nothing against them at all. All the idols that I know are incredibly hard working and immensely talented, but they are on the opposite side of me. I focus completely and utterly on music, while they have to do that and also learn how to do variety, acting, and so many other things. There’s a lot to being an idol that I just do not care for. 

Do you look up to anyone in particular?

AKALI: My mother. That’s a given, everyone knows my mother is my pride and my heart, and everything in between. But if you mean musically, normally, I would say absolutely no one because I’m the only one I need but So Hyang is a whole princess. Her vocal technique is legitimately the best I’ve ever seen, the fact she can hit a Bb5 without switching into a head voice with power and belt it out is just untouchable. I’d love to learn something, anything from her. She’s such so phenomenal in her breath control and her technique. The face you are giving me tells me you really have no idea what I just said. 

I don’t, at all actually, but you are a rapper. Why would a rapper need to learn from a vocalist? 

AKALI: Jokes on you, and pretty much everyone else, I can sing extremely well. I’ve been training in singing since I was ten years old, which is nearly seventeen years ago. Holy sh*t, I’m getting old. Just like dancing, I never stopped training and practicing. I just prefer rapping, and feel more powerful when I’m rapping. I’ve always been known for soft ‘honey’ vocals and powerful, fierce in your face rap, but I can sing in other tones as well. I’ll show everyone soon, hopefully, just how well I can sing. You’ll be quite surprised.

I’m sure the fans would like to know what’s Akali’s true style, when she has a boyfriend and when she’s all alone? 

AKALI: I- tend to like to spend time alone at home with my dogs when I’m alone, or go out to eat by myself, wow that’s so pathetic sounding. Or watch the home shopping network. When I have a boyfriend, most of the time we spend time at home because I can’t be bothered to want to go out any more than I already do. It always ends up with me being awake, them being asleep and the home shopping network playing. I like at home dates, and just spending time me and them, and my dogs. 

Wait- you said when? So you’ve had a boyfriend before? 

AKALI: I’ve dated a few times, though it’s been... about two years. I’m not really one to listen to my company about not dating, or not dating in general. I’m human, I don’t see what I need to be single all the time when most of my fans are females anyway. The obsession over dating is such a lost concept on me, but I also don’t like to share my personal life so when I date, no one really knows. 

So that means we’ll be hearing love songs out of you? You said in an interview you would only write a love song if you were in love, or had experienced love? 

AKALI: I honestly lied to filth and back in that interview. I’ve written plenty of love songs for other people, including the one on my collection. Love is such an easy topic to write about, the words are so easy to find when I’m not the one going to be singing it. However, I don’t think I’ll ever write a love song for myself. Because at the end of the day, talking about myself in love is a fictional construct that I can simply just not wrap my head around. I was in love once, when I was too young to really understand what it meant. I’ve not been in love since, though I have felt.. feelings towards some people before but it never gets deeper than that unfortunately, no one stays around long enough. Sorry, at my ex-boyfriends who are reading this. Yikes. I think I might have broken like four hearts with that line. 

You’ve definitely proved your growth as an artist with the Collection, what’s the next challenge for you? 

AKALI: My next challenge is to show who I am to the public. I’ve always lived privately, and my reputation has suffered greatly because of that. Not that I plan on changing who I am in the slightest, I will keep the same personality as it just is who I am but I want to show people that the rumors are just a bit and piece of me, that there are many different sides to the same person. 

You said in a previous interview, you didn’t really find yourself to be a feminist icon, does that still ring true? 

AKALI: With future plans, I think I’ve begun to step more comfortably into being a feminist icon. I want to show women that they too have the power to do whatever they want, when I was meeting with fans this coming comeback and at the showcases and performances, they would always tell me that I’ve inspired them to follow their dreams instead of just what their parents want them to do. 

Future plans? 

AKALI: I can’t tell you much, but you’ll be seeing a side of me that many people have greatly missed and hasn’t been seen in about.. four years. I’ve missed this side of me very much, and I’m excited to be showcasing it again. 

Lightning round, yes or no answers!

Do you think you are the prettiest in the industry? 

AKALI: Yes. If you don’t love yourself the most first and foremost, no one else is going to love you. 

I’m lonely nowadays. 

AKALI: Yes, that’s why I’ve been active. I missed my fans. It’s hard to be lonely but also like being alone. 

I have “black history”, things that I want to erase from my past.

AKALI: No.. I suppose the things that happened to me made me who I am. Regardless of how black that history might be, I don’t think I’d be able to erase any of it without losing inspiration and things to write about. 

When you sit across from Akali in all her glory it’s really intimidating, she’s got this aura about her that just makes you feel insignificant. Like you will never be anything compared to her, that she really was born to be a star. But in all honesty, she’s quite enjoyable to talk to, and the way she says things and how honest she is gives her this hint of humanity and hilarity. And the few times she smiled during the interview, her whole demeanor changes and it’s endearing. She’s actually quite likable when you sit down and talk to her.

Honestly, I knew of her before this but I think I’m going to be an Akali fan.

#NO HAVING PRIVACY INVADED IS NOT THE PRICE OF FAME!!! #IF SHE AINT WANNa be TOUCHED don't TOUCH her. #also love her bc that makes me cry when people actually see who she is behind the rumors. #uhghhghd df si m s o happy i could cry again #wait is that a tear #am i really cryin #probably #i love my queen. #also the cover? #step the FUCK on me and kill me.

[dynamitekrp]

SEARCHING FOR SUNWOO . . .

PUBLIC PROFILE

birthday: june 26, 1997 years trained: 3 position: main vocal, lead dance, sub rap 

CAREER

2016 solo appearance on please take care of my fridge 2017 solo appearance on pilot of socializing champ 2018 my id is gangnam beauty ost, d-day 2019 king of masked singer, sang bad guy by rain 2020 itaewon class ost, start 

IMAGE

sunwoo is the sun icarus flew too close to: golden, bright, warm, but burning, passionate. he is also the energy the sun brings with it, youthful, boyish, reckless, the poster boy for rebellious youth chasing their dreams at full speed. he toes that line between relatable, normal and impossible, untouchable like the stars in the sky. it’s a burdening image to say the least, to appear imperfectly perfect right down to the scar on his face and bouts of shy awkwardness with anyone outside of icarus, and it hasn’t budged much since debut aside from maturing slowly with time. he is meant to be both the perfect idol, a triple threat that somehow does nothing but excel, but more familiar, real, raw. like he’s just being himself, like there isn’t even an image he’s trying to uphold.

and as the youngest in the group and as one who has spent most of his youth with them, he’s also pivotal to their family image as the baby. the youngest sibling full of spirit and endless mischief, the one the rest of them both protect and endlessly tease. he is the classic maknae, the one who can get away with anything he does, the one that’s both endearing and annoying all at once. and they don’t hide how long he’s been with view, how he’s given his childhood to them. they use that as part of the story of how his members raised him. how he’s become who he is now because of them.

BACKGROUND

sunwoo’s life can be separated into three distinct parts: his childhood, the loss of it, and everything thereafter.

-

i. his childhood / busan, south korea

it had been a hot, humid, bright and sunny summer day in busan when sunwoo was born. foretelling. the waiting room outside was full of aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents waiting patiently for his parents’ first born that they’d tried for years to have. miracle baby, they called him, and treated him as so. with an abundance of love and affection and attention.

this is how oh sunwoo grew up, like a sunflower only ever seeing the sun.

it allowed him the freedom to enjoy many things, from soccer to painting to baseball to video games and reading manhwa’s instead of school books to dancing in the street like the buskers he saw on a brief trip to seoul. but out of everything he did, singing, or rather performing as a whole, was the only thing he would return to over and over.

naturally, it started with just his parents. little toddler sunwoo dancing and singing gibberish for the camera because his mom asked him to. and he’d laugh, and so would they. the warm sound of it memorialized in home-made videos stuffed in a box somewhere. then it became his larger, extended family. aunts and uncles and cousins gathering like they did for his birth, for birthdays and other random family get togethers they would so often have. he’d take center stage, wherever that might have been (from the middle of their tiny living room to the ocean shores nearby). sing for us, sunwoo, they would ask him with a grin on their face and warmth in their voice. and as a child he would oblige happily if it meant seeing their smiles from his ‘stage’, and hearing them coo, ahh, our talented little sunwoo!

as he grew, his audience widened as much as he could let it. starting first with small classroom talent shows, to school-wide ones, to city-wide ones, to competition show judges. and it was there, in the waiting room where he practiced his little twelve year old heart out for hopes of showing up on tv for even a minute, that he received a card and a flyer.

the card read view entertainment, and the flyer read a date and time for auditions.

he hadn’t heard of the company before, but even at twelve years old he knew he had to try.

ii. the loss of it / seoul, south korea

one year later, sunwoo moved to seoul.

his parents came along with him, of course, finding the most affordable small apartment they could for the three of them. it was several bus transfers and stops away from view, but it worked just fine --

-- even if sunwoo wasn’t. not at first. it had been like cold water to his face, the move to seoul. his world that mainly consisted of his family shrunk down to just two.

sunwoo, who never had a shortage of love or never knew what it was like to not be surrounded by others, now felt very much alone. at thirteen, he was younger than most of the existing trainees. and even those that were near his age felt distant, hard to get close to. he kept quiet for the most part, kept to himself. stayed in the corners of the dance room, bowing deeply but not much else when anyone told him to take a break or handed him a towel and a cool bottle of water.

he retreated into himself and focused on training, training, training, until he just couldn’t anymore.

it was a tentative lineup, but what was tentative to a young teen? all sunwoo knew was, he was in it. even if just for that moment, he felt included. he opened up. he lamented with the members about stupid food prohibitions, about the grueling training hours. he hid bags of chips so obviously in his hoodie, plastic crunching with every rushed step he would take towards the practice room.

some of those members came and went, but sunwoo stayed through it all. he’d given up his childhood for hours in a tiny soundproof room singing the same songs over and over and over until the notes became second nature. until he felt maybe, just maybe, the main vocal role wasn’t so tentative any more.

at sixteen, that hunch became reality.

but the reality was bitter. icarus flew no where near the sun.

it felt like that initial move to seoul. like glass shattering. for a boy who debuted because he wanted more love than he could ever realistically hope for, receiving peanuts in return for the years he gave up was heartbreaking.

he retreated again in some ways. he had his members now, had more roots in seoul. but the practice rooms once again became his second home outside the dorm. he slept on the battered couches there more than his own bottom bunk. he felt anxious when he sang on stage and received silence, like it was his fault, that there was something wrong with him. that he just needed to improve, that he needed to change to suit the whims of the fans if that meant they would scream his name from the crowds.

this followed him for years, even as icarus flew closer and closer to the sun. even as more bodies filled their sets, their fanmeets, their concerts that grew in venue size every tour. even as his name started trending on occasion on raven, even as there were fan posts after fan posts cooing over icarus’ very own golden boy. even then. when there even one post lamenting about his gauges getting bigger, he took them out. when there was one comment about him wearing glasses that didn’t suit him, he threw them away and bought contacts. when there was a fan holding his hand during a fansign telling him right to his face that red hair didn’t suit him, he pleaded to stay dark brown for the rest of their comebacks.

he lost himself in his impossible quest for endless adoration.

iii. and everything thereafter / seoul, south korea and hundreds of locations more

it took deleting twitter and forcing himself, under the advice of others, to stop searching his name to find himself again.

it helped that icarus soared so high he had no time to worry about it anymore, too. milestone after milestone taking all his attention instead, new worries filing in and taking over those old ones. what else do i have to do turning into what comes next, if there even is a next?

but with these worries, at least he didn’t have to bear them on his own.

his shoulders were still burdened, but now they were burdened with expectations instead of self-doubt. and he had other members alongside him to help carry the weight.

he still slips up though, his golden boy image slowly cracking along with it. but instead of amending to fit the whims and criticisms, he’s gone the opposite direction. doubling down. getting multiple piercings on his ears, personally bleaching and self-dyeing his hair for a sunwoo vlog, getting tattoos on his knuckles and then even more on his arm when the fans asked him to stop. he’s set his boundaries, even if it means his searches have become tainted.

with all the recent acquisitions and plans for more, however, the company hasn’t been too happy with that. asking him to please, stop causing trouble. to lay low but also to go live more often because so many fans have complained about the lack of his social presence outside of comebacks. to just go back to practicing again instead of trying to take back his youth.

but he is a ticking time bomb, and view knows it.

#dyn.jeon jungkook #dyn.icarus #dyn.app