#what triggered this memory....why......

[penn-dragon]

Kyoko still regularly visits the Corn clearing because it's her happy place, and early into the production Ren goes to visit the spot for nostalgia and happy memories. They run into each other there and Ren immediately realizes who she is

#skip beat #kyoko mogami #ren tsuruga #kyoren #never left kyoto au #I think he kind of knew already in the back of his mind but didnt really register it until they meet in the forest #a big part of the fun of this au for me is imagining what their reunion would have been like if they hadn't gotten off on the wrong foot #like they do in the manga #because even after he finds out his distaste for her motivations and her consequent grudge against him color their interactions for a while #(I also think she unintentionally triggered his trauma when they first met which is why he reacted so strongly to her but thats a rant for #another day) #he's just so so so so so drawn to her while also desperately wanting to keep his distance #but it's hard when he feels like he's suddenly back in his most precious memories #and kyoko is so charmed by him #platonically (at first) #she connects to people so quickly and the only reason she disliked Ren for so long was because he was mean to her hgkdfjdk #and I don't think 30 year old kyoko would have the same 'i hate who Sho hates' mentality 16yo kyoko did bc thats just how teenagers are lol #anyway i've ranted long enough I think about them so much

[annamaryllis]

I would like to know exactly how luke asking annabeth to run away with him went down.

#annabeth🥺 #it's sad to think about how it'll be so much harder for annabeth to unpack and heal from that relationship bc he's dead #it's hard enough to come to terms with someone you love/held in high esteem hurting you so deeply #but she's also grieving him too so it's even harder to hold him accountable to herself and recognizing the good and the bad #she may struggle to not romanticize the memory of him #sorting through what about their relationship was pure and genuine and what was fueled by other stuff #both of their trauma really played into it in some of the worst ways... #but to even recognize how her trauma played into it she'd have to identify what her trauma even is and how it's affected her life #it's really complex and difficult work #and bc he's gone she'll never get to question him on stuff like what he was thinking at certain points and why #so certain things will never get the best closure #ugh it's all so fucked up #MAYBE SOMETHING WE COULD HAVE EXPLORED IN HOO RICHARD???? BUT NO #and it would have been perfect too bc she'd also be dealing with issues caused by both of her parents triggered by the MoA quest #like her mother's conditional love #and trauma from her mortal family #and her fear of spiders relates to both of these things bc it's a phobia that's passed down from her mom's actions #so she's being punished for something she's not responsible for and also being burdened with a quest simply for being her mother's daughter #and it also represents her mortal family's neglect bc they ignored her needs and all that... #AND THEN the only person she's received actually pure and good unconditional love from was snatched from her for 6 months #and the MoA quest could have been a way to confront some of these fears and wounds...so she's a little stronger by tartarus which #should bring out the best in her and the worst in percy #and then he can work through some stuff too down there #HoO could have been a journey for them where they're undone and then healed #bc at the end of everything they have the medicine to literally everything which is real love (which they have for each other intensely) #the rant I could go on about this...I have so many thoughts about what HoO should have been. maybe one day #annabeth chase #luke castellan #✏️

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

scene of all time

#cant believe i wrote a fic where holodoctor helps yaz save her literally like 10 months ago #also started a fic the other day where yaz tries out how adaptive the hologram in 1903 really is by kissing her #have not finished that one yet but i do feel very validated rn #anyway how do you think an ai doctor based on All Doctors would differ from any individual doctor #i mean we can sorta see right but i mean like. #i guess my question is more like how much of those 2000 years does any individual regeneration have access to/is based on #bc like 13 is way more reacting to like s10 than s4 or smth you know what i mean #but in this ai s10 and s4 would weigh equal maybe? #unless you make it so that the further back it is the less it counts but idk if you'd WANT to do that #bc like it reacts to tegan and ace as 5 and 7 so should way more be based on that than like any more recent stuff #so it like. uses certain memories based on certain triggers #im not smart enough for this which is why i just spend my time thinking about yaz kissing the hologram #i think it'd feel like warm and buzzy like a tv what do you think #i think it'd be fun

[blujayonthewing]

well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'

#me-- instantly stressed and near tears: I know you're joking and it's not even important but. that isn't funny. to me. #I really wish there was a term for 'gaslighting but they're not doing it on purpose' #this is distinct from simply 'being wrong' because 'that's definitely not what happened 🤨' is a key part of it #the other person trying to convince me that I'm wrong and I must be crazy-- not for manipulation purposes but because THEY forgot #and are MUCH more confident in the possibility that I'm completely full of shit than that they maybe can't remember exactly #this is an extraordinarily specific thing that nonetheless happens to me ASTONISHINGLY OFTEN. #I mean clearly often enough that I'm now hair-trigger sensitive upset about it #AND TO CLARIFY QUICKLY-- that's not what justin even did (this time) but 'well I don't remember that' is still... #OKAY WELL I DO. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER BELIEVE ME. #trembling and crying searching for Receipts while explaining to my husband that it's not even that I don't think he believes me (this time) #I just. I just. I just. I'm not fucking crazy. I know you don't think I'm crazy. but I still feel like I Have to prove it. #my mom sending a package to the wrong address and then saying-- confidently and irritably-- 'you never GAVE me a unit number' #when I can scroll back up through texts to where I sent her our new address when we moved and it was complete and correct #my friend during our big stupid fight saying 'no one actually AGREED to that [dnd] plan except you and justin 😒' #going back into my audio recording to that conversation where everyone BUT him agreed #including his fucking pick-me 'yeah jay's being shitty right now' brother whose character said 'this sounds like a good plan' verbatim #like. I KNOW it's not just 'my memory vs theirs and we both assume we're right' #because SO OFTEN when this happens I have FUCKING RECEIPTS. that I'M NOT WRONG OR CRAZY. #no one ever wants to entertain the notion that I might know what I'm talking about. #I can't stress enough that I'm not mad at justin right now he was very much 'no I believe you! it's weird that I don't remember though' #which is fair! honestly! but I'm a LITTLE. sensitive. of the fact that everyone always ALWAYS automatically assumes I'm incorrect #and very often in a way that's a mark against my competence or character. #'well *I* couldn't *possibly* have gotten the address wrong so YOU must have fucked it up' #you know. it's like that. it's like that a lot. #maybe this only happens to me so much because I happen to be cursed with remembering things better than most people #or maybe I'm uniquely viewed as incompetent. who can say. #about me

[dan-crimes]

Where is the Candy Queen love? I mean maybe I'm just a sucker for her design and voice work and just general demeanor but I can't be the only one

#also I kinda wanna get to thinking abt what specifically the Winter King transferred over to PB #cuz like we know the crown causes madness but Ice King's specific madness is different from the OG madness when it was first created #Ice King's madness is specific to his own characteristics so if Winter King transferred his obsessive love over to PB #then maybe that's why he was so chill about the mention of Betty? I know there's the whole memory thing goin on there too #like I dunno I really dig the implications of what specifically plagues Simon abt the crown like the kidnapping and obsession is obvious #the memory loss is anothet aspect but Winter King seemed to keep the confidence and self love from the crown #ooo I wonder if we had more of a chance to see Candy Queen if we would have saw the depression and self destructive behaviour #or if Ice King's madness while having aspects of his own madness goes ahead and mixes with PB's personality and psychology #causing for a slightly different effect to it all so while her madness was similar it still had aspects of herself in it just mixed together #anywayy I could totally get into this but again I'd have to rewatch like all of Adventure Time which I am not gonna do #I would pay heavy attention to everything Ice King related tho #I wonder how Winter King even managed to do all that... cuz he was Ice King so how did he become aware enough to do that to PB? #interesting interesting maybe a strong emotional trigger of some sort... #also I wonder if the madness was building up bcuz Winter King said this was an escalation... like was it a steady stream? #Just him beaming his madness into PB's head and the more he slipped away the worse she got until eventually the blender lmao #as you can see I think people should be talking about Candy Queen more

[bougiebutchbitch]

Hey, could you please tag for your One Piece please? Thank you

nope x

#how many times do I gotta say it lol #I don't tag stuff routinely if I'm reblogging - only if I create it #I'll try and tag for triggers but I have a medically recognised bad memory #but like... this is my blog #it's my fun space #I don't owe anyone shit and I don't particularly want to put my adhd brain through the hell of coming up with an organised tag system? #if you don't like it just unfollow - don't tell me what to do in my own space. I appreciate that you were polite but #why are so many people lacking basic internet etiquette these days lmaoooo

[daringdarlingdt]

Figuring out I liked girls explained a lot of things about my childhood, like there really was no other justification for the number of times I watched the music video for Come and Get It by Selena Gomez—I didn’t like the song that much.

#not dissing the song or anything I still bop to it which is in fact what triggered this memory. but that’s not why I had the video on loop #at the tender age of 13

[nomaishuttle]

btw controversial but fuckk ptsd dude yohre telling me judt bc my parents shouldnt ever have been parents now i have to be fucked up for the rest of my life .

#i know like..coping mechanisms and ris8ng above and learning to live with it but like its fucking stupid and unfair bc im never gonna stop #having ptsd yk. my episodes might get less frequent i might build happier memories but jm always gonna have these memory blocks and trigger #s and nightmares like. forever. im never gonna get to have had a normal childhood thats the most fuckedbup thing ever #like ik this is whiny but like. why. why me what did i do to deserve that childhood. not that any kid deserves abusive childhoods obviously #it sounds like im like ermmm there r wayyy worse kids who shouldve been the ones to go to the zoo 💀 but like ykwim. why does #thus have to happen to so many ppl i hate it i hate it. i wish i could just Actually forget everything instead of just like. not rly #remembering it but Knowing it..yk. i know everything that happened to me even if its all blocked out #and i still feel like. the effects of it even the stuff thats jncredibly hazy to me. and jm never not gojng to feel that. my personality hs #literally been fucking shaped by the childhood i have and like. yes you can 'change' your personality a bit and your choices blah blah blah #but like. even with that. im still always gonna be like. my first impulse will always be distrust and doubt and fear. even if i train #myself not to Act on those emotions i still will always feel them. im always going to expect people to leave even if they dont even if i #dont let myself push them away its something im always going to be terrified of in the back of my mind. im never gojng to have #proper social skills bc i fully missed out on that stage of development im never going to be like. at the same level as my peers bc i #missed out on those skills. sigh. ik ik ik feeljng inhuman and feeljng different from everybody else is a jniversal thing but i truly think #im like. im missing something that everybody else seems to have and i dont even know what it is but i know i dont have it and everyone #can tell j dont have it and it fucking. sucks . basically

[wtfcl0ud]

i wish i was making this up for shits and giggles but i went to an anti bullying campaign with the kid who was like bullying/abusing me at the time mostly bc i didnt want to be in a relationship with them and we got uh like pins n those bracelets etc n every time i see them i remember the bad things n it's just funny ahah myb i shld get rid of them

#it's one of the last? only things tht like triggers those memories #my head has forgotten it mostly #interacting w/ her affectionate does not really make me think of it either #but those stuff do #that was such a day lol sigh #i had made the 'abuser' a gift lmao ouch #then later when we got back to school god shit happened #i ran away n hid in the library oof it was sigh damn #yolo amirite #i wasnt blame free #well i mean idk tht's what she said #god why am i crying #i mean i nvr hit her or threw things at her or purposefully tried to manipulate her n emotionally abuse her #so at least i dont hv tht on my conscience #i said smth mean publicly as a retort n i felt so guilty after it i cried lmao #anytime i told her no not tht she listened but she wld get mad at me for it anyways #i wld go make up bc i was scared sigh #damn tht was fucking hell but we were 17 n things like tht happen when ur 17 n she wsnt malicious #she was just being hurt herself #she said tht bc i was new i wld just use them for what i needed #which even tho not my intention i guess held some truth based on my actions #but it was like tf u want me to do idek where the bathrooms in the school are or the rules n all tht shit #im not asking bc i want to use you for info im asking bc i need to kno n u 'befriended' me #sorry im socially awkward n struggle at making friends tht doesnt mean im using u lmao sigh #i genuinely hope she's ok tho n doing better sigh #cloud nonsense #ignore me

[ziracona]

Trauma responses are fucking crazy. You’ll go ‘Ah yes. A fairly precedented, if unpleasant, human experience. I am going to have a psychotic breakdown if I even have to fucking look at it, and I won’t be able to sleep or not want to vomit for the next 48 hours if I’m forced to engage with it even a little.’ And then 2 days later once it’s done you’ll be able to think about it completely objectively and normally without the emotional state of a hurricane or being a single thread of sanity away from shattering objects or fleeing the country, just like, ‘Yeah I’m unbothered.’

But watch out

#why the hell do brains even DO this like in what remote way is it evolutionary advantageous to see something that reminds you of a traumatic #prior experience and having that vaguest of memories incite internal self destruct on the spot like in what way does that help!??? can’t you #just trigger fight or flight like a normal system wide response?????

[lord-shitbox]

win for the gozu and mezu fandom. ill have time to clean up+post this within a month

#nurarihyon no mago #gozumaru #mezumaru #should i look at the story crafting as a whole and write about the narrative purposes gozu and mezu serve? yes. will i? no #something something foil. #actually i had the words in my head until i typed that out and then i forgot them all #gozu is there on nejireme to trigger rikuos awakening mezu is probably just there to give the rest of the cast something to do #see the problem with this is the zone i care about is so narrow. i dont want to look at the big picture even if itsto see the shapes of my #little pieces better. the big picture is not my little guys. #in spy arc theyre used for like .. exposition and mostly showing how fucked up tamazuki is #you could say gozu loses to rikuo on nejireme because rikuo is in the thematic right for not disliking everyone #and wanting them to Fuck Off TM #actually i think. it was more a refutation of gozus attitude towards strength. (im going off of memory here ok) gozu implies/sees #that having strength is what gives people worth. or something similar. the main house losers arent strong;he thinks; so theyre not worthy #of bossing him around #'why did i lose to you; who arent even a full yokai' how are you stronger than me. how have my convictions in strength failed me. i think. #rikuo winning is about refuting this. the strong have power so they can protect the weak/ create a world in which the weak can thrive #is the general platform i think #something something edo yokai are the fireworks in the night #related; gyuki clan mentality seems to be a nice bridge between the 'edo vs kyoto' mentalities in human policy #(gyuki clan territory is the border between them/ furthest nura territory in that direction) #geographically theres a scale there and the gyuki clan literally middles it #time to copy paste this into my slideshow.

[hpdgirlfriend]

i hate my fucking mom why does she always have to ruin everything for me i dont even HAVE that much to ruin and she still decides to take it away from me and fuck it up anyways because like, she said so, or whatever the fuck, because she literally actually doesn't care about me, or my wellbeing, or happiness, besides superficial fucking shit, maybe i would be happier if you didn't dismiss and mock me when i tell you i want to kill myself, maybe i would feel better if you didn't mock me at all, mmaybe if i forgot what this fucking post was going to be about and its not even fucking relevant to last night anymore

#diary #Anyeays. But i have been mad abt the kms thing recently because something triggered the memory & hm. #maybe its fucked up to tell ur kid that its fine if they want to kill themself and u cant stop them if thats what they want to do #instead of like. providing support idk. #things that so clearly highlight what is wrong w her parenting and why i need attention and validation so bad :)

[lazaruspiss]

modern comics industry maybe be struggling but honestly i think ur average local comic store is gonna be fine in comparison, like plenty of them have a huge focus on resells of older stuff and like. maybe one shelf to the side w new releases lol

#ramble tag #if DC goes bankrupt or whatever i wouldnt even blink at it #honestly i think the reason why theyre trying to do this MCUesque movie universe thing is bc like #what else? and it worked for marvel #but marvel movies have established such broad appeal to normies and fanboys alike w/o needing to be good #and i don't know if DC can pull that off. maybe #probably well enough to survive i suppose #also name one good think about the wonder woman movie other than ''sexy lead actors'' or ''ww threw a tank'' #also: name one good thing about the recent batman that isnt ''emo batman'' #not me trying to be snippy just like. i think it's weird when people say a movie's good and only give reasons like that #so its a genuine question! what is the appeal! if it's just the sex factor that's ok but say it w ur chest! #oh and the blue beetle movie. they did not promote that At All. a teeny bit suspicious of DC #to show such little investment in that movie's success. like the last hispanic led superhero movie was spiderverse bc miles is mixed #which is cool but #but yknow. jaime is important to me for personal reasons and i hate that he got a movie that completely passed by me like that #i go to the theaters!! i saw wonder woman in theaters!! but i missed out on the chance to see blue beetle bc the promo was nonexistent #i dont talk about jaime bc truthfully his significance to me is less ''im invested in this character'' and more #''child me was so happy seeing a hispanic character other than dora for once'' #he still triggers that memory and feeling in my brain of finally thinking i can be ok #blah blah being a part hispanic teen in the trump era in a like 95% white town in a republican state was rough or whatever #''im barely a shade darker and no one will know if i dont tell them but i feel isolated anyways #bc my peers are describing all the awful things they hope mexicans go through'' #my hispanic heritage is also specifically mexican so it was Rough #christ im going on a bit #dear diary type of rant #unrelated but ive recently discovered baljeet is to indian kids what dora is to hispanic kids #which lowkey suck bc there's nothing wrong w either of those characters #just that some ppl grow up with them being the only frame of reference they have for those groups and it leads to Unpleasant Interactions #my lil sibling refuses to learn spanish bc she got compared to dora growing up and it pissed her off that much #i think sometimes the dora comparison was said affectionately but that didn't really make a difference for her

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#idk i kind of find it fucked up that my dad thinks it was a bad idea to tell me about his life insurance plan #he told my mom “ you think it was a good idea telling him ? you know people kill people for it” #almost if not is insinuating that i would do something like that #idk to me it speaks volumes on how he views me as a person to think i would even think of such a thing #it bothers me to think he would think id do that i definitely dont get along with the dude but i wouldn't do that 😂 #like you really think that low of me 😂 bruh that shit is sad to me #i absolutely hated him when i was growing up; literally had everyone walking on eggshells #you literally quite literally couldn't say anything to him or he would get aggressively mad #literally so mad that his screams alone would make my ears ring and hed throw stuff around in his little shed #i would be so scared as a kid helping him with a car maintenance or anything around the house cause any inconvenience #would have the man screaming at me when I've done nothing but try and help and cuss me out for the thing he fucked up something #for years i couldn't hang out with my classmates outside of school near my house without him cussing at me and screaming at me to go home #if he saw me with them at the abandoned next door neighbors house he would literally scream at me and cuss at me to get in the fucking house #and would grab my arm and push me inside; i was just in middle school at the time and ive already been through so much mental abusive #i would get blaimed for anything he did wrong when i would try to help him fix something around the house and it wasnt my fault #screaming and cussing at me calling me fucking stupid in Spanish i hated him so much his excuses are work had him so stressed out #like if that excuses him for taking his stress out on my sister and i; its absolute bullshit the man he is now is just a toned down version #thats why when he did it again not long ago it triggered me so much it brought back so many horrible memories i didnt want to remember #he didnt even apologize to me he just told my mom he was embarrassed and didnt know what got over him like that's an excuse to scream #and cuss at everyone who had nothing to do with him fucking up the wall he had no reason of cutting and cutting a pipe in the process #he was cussing at me saying i dont want to be critique 🤣 like dawg all i was only giving him options to fix the problem #he took that as critiquing and he fucking exploded cussing and screaming in Spanish i was sure we were about to fight again #it wouldn't be the first time ive fought him before when i was a teenager cause he would scream at my mom and grandma #and i would stand up for them and just for that he would throw hands with a 13 year old me a 15 year old me a 16 17 amd 18 year old me #he was a horrible person and i hate it when people tell me he was a good person there that he was a good father cause he provided for my mom #like if thay excuses the abuse he put my sister and i through like fuck that dude he had not right hitting my sister in the face #and mentally abusing us its absolute bullshit and i still have not gotten over my childhood #literally the worst time of my life was my whole childhood for every good time i had there were 10 times more negative shit that happened #so i find it funny that he'd think i would kill him 🤣 for his insurance money i dont want his stupid money #he really thinks that low of me and it's quite sad honestly