#what the norms or expectations are

[twicetolivetwicetodie]

Miguel: To be Spider-Man is to suffer

Miles: um...no?

#that's it that's the movie #i just really like it was miles rejecting the norm and what's expected of him #and doing his own thing #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers #miguel o’hara #miles morales

[ride-a-dromedary]

"Halsin shouldn't be that big or muscular or look middle aged because he's an elf and the lore sa-"

I actually think he should be bigger and look more middle aged, personally.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #the man has been non-stop stressed for a century like i'm surprised that didn't prematurely age him MORE #i think he *should* have silver hairs peppered throughout from the endless stress he's been under #and be built like a professional strong man with a significant healthy layer of fat because he *hibernates* and is *practically strong* #and because he says he likes sweet things and doesn't find any point in denying himself things he likes #so you're telling me that man is chiseled and cut like an unhealthy bodybuilder? #no i don't think so #'elf lore says-' this game is literally all about curbing your expectations when it comes to what people are 'meant' to be #elf lore says a lot of things that halsin fits *to a t* - his appearance being out of the 'norm' is not a flaw #but it doesn't matter then does it? only when he physically fits the species paradigm? #'that's not how elf aging works!' why not? you've seen how human's age yeah? different people age in different ways #you can line up ten 50 year olds next to one another and not a single one of them will look the same #the thing is that under every single umbrella there is diversity of experience #people will look and age differently from others - that's just how life and genetic diversity *works* #anyway this is a gripe at two different things at once don't mind me

[fromtheseventhhell]

Imagine being 9 years old and asking your dad about the things you're interested in doing when you grow up and he's like "No ❤️! But you can get married, have babies, and then maybe your sons can do those things ☺️🫶 "

#arya stark #one of those /wtf Ned/ moments #then people act like she invented misogyny cause she was like /uuuhhhhh no thanks that's not me/ #/Arya is masculine/ and she's literally just a child who has interests outside of her patriarchy-assigned role #the way people read this and then demonize Arya for not silently conforming like people expect her to... #that's the ingrained misogyny from being socialized in a patriarchal society speaking babes 😭 #cannot stress enough how Arya is just an average little girl and what makes her behavior stand out is their society's strict gender norms #her life + learning almost entirely revolves around the fact that she is being raised to be a wife and people resent her for wanting more : #she is NINE in AGoT and her parents are discussing her refinement because /In a few years she will be of an age to marry/ #the way misogyny is explored in Arya's story is actually so brilliant and well-written (+ underappreciated) though #we feel the full weight of how restrictive their society is through her POV and get the experiences of lower-class women too #which is why it's so significant that George wrote her based on feminists who realized they wanted more than becoming wives/housewives #she's one of his key characters who will /change the world/ but people think he's sticking her on a boat bc she isn't feminine enough 😭 #thank god he's writing the books and not any of these reductive hacks who thinks misogyny is subversive 🙏🏾 #sidenote: would've loved to see this from her POV to get her feelings when he said this cause I'm sure it doesn't match Ned's perception #considering he views her main issues as being stubborn/difficult while we know about the self-esteem issues she has

[sprucewoodmpreg]

not to be autistic but early life series builds are soooo special to me. MFW im in a game that i have yet to learn the rules of so i default to my old comforts but unfounded hostility that has yet to rear its head will soon be both the demise of me and my fragile home. facepalm!

#later builds are good but they all feel like they were made to break. in a way #it's expected behaviour at this point so that inherent Shock Of Destruction doesn't feel as impactful as it did earlier on #because weve learnt what rules players can break. or at least established a norm of rules surrounding builds and what players can do to the #mostly thinking of the crastle + monopoly mountain + dogwarts with this BTW. #all 3 are built with very different perspectives in mind. and so the context they're placed in is sooooooo awesome to me

[mxtxfanatic]

Another pro-reader tip for mxtx novels: they are all stories with clear-cut good guys and bad guys and a strong moral message, BUT you have to actually read what the story has to say about characters without taking anything at face value, relying on genre tropes, or using identities and statuses as shorthand to your understanding of the moral system and themes of the story. So no, most characters in her stories are not morally gray (though some are, most can be definitively categorized as either morally good or bad, and ALL of her main characters are definitively morally good), and no she does not write morally gray plots where “morality is just subjective!” If anything, the term I think people are looking for is “morally neutral” (meaning that the thing is not assigned a morality in and of itself) in many cases.

An mxtx character is never designated as good or bad based off their backgrounds or class: Wei Wuxian, Jin Guangyao, Shen Jiu, and Mu Qing all grow up outside of the elite class, but Mu Qing (eventually) and Wei Wuxian are unquestionably good guys while Jin Guangyao and Shen Jiu are unquestionable villains. Shen Yuan, Lan Wangji, and Xie Lian all grow up within the gentry class but are all good guys while Jiang Cheng, Jun Wu, and The Old Palace Master are bad. Likewise, life circumstances or tools don’t determine morality. In mdzs, the sword path (which is the orthodox one) is used to commit genocide by the general cultivation world just as easily as Lan Wangji wields it to protect the forsaken commoners. Wei Wuxian’s ghost path was created to protect himself before being used to protect others, but Xue Yang and the Jin Clan pervert it to cause mass destruction for their own wishes. In tgcf, Xie Lian uses his god powers to attempt to help the Yong’an people while the other gods simply collect worshippers to increase their power and oppress lesser gods. Every character I’ve listed minus the Old Palace Master has experienced intense trauma that has informed their lives and colors their morality, but it does not define why they have chosen to take on certain moral stances.

(This is not to say that mxtx doesn’t have certain tropes she dislikes, as she clearly hates the “dedicate their whole existence completely to another person” trope. Su She, a villain dedicated to Jin Guangyao, dies. Zhuzhi-lang, a sympathetic antagonist dedicated to Tianlang-jun, dies. Hua Cheng, A WHOLE LOVE INTEREST dedicated to the literal main character, dies a whopping three (3) times before he learns his lesson.)

Mxtx does not condemn those who stray from orthodoxy. In fact, every story she’s (currently) written is about the dangers of entrenched and unquestioned hierarchy and status quo giving way to corruption every time. She wants you to question the dominant narrative of the benevolent group who descend from on high to “save the ignorant masses.” She wants you to question the idea that the only people with the right of choice are those at the top of the hierarchy. She wants you to question the idea that even the smallest decision of “powerless” people does not matter in “the grand scheme of things.” She wants you to actually think about the story conventions that you accept as infallible and question whether or not it would make for good shorthand by which to understand well-written characters and story arcs (and also, hopefully, how society is structured at large). So if you find yourself reading an mxtx novel and siding with the mob characters or lamenting how x character was locked into making certain choices “against their will” or being unable to reconcile how a recognized trope led to an unexpected conclusion because “that’s not how it’s supposed to go,” then it may do you some good to stop and ask yourself “was this idea supported by the narrative that I read in the book, or is this an idea I’ve come to entirely from my own preconceived notions of how I wanted the story to turn out based on how other, similar stories have panned out?”

#human metas mxtx #mdzs #svsss #tgcf #and this isn’t to say that you can’t question mxtx’s choices #again her work BEGS you to do just that #but you can’t have an adequate critique of something you refuse to even see for what it is #if you are expecting a normative genre piece from mxtx #you will leave disappointed with the ways in which she specifically breaks those norms #you will walk away without understanding how or why she chose to do so #and you’ll misunderstand her intentions and her works by foregoing this understanding

[windydrawallday]

Long-PSA-short of sorts that's more a vent: I was always aware my behavior and way of expressing myself online can surprise many people, especially if they are not used to someone who uses the writing medium as a playful form to tell emotions in a very descriptive way as I do. I'm quite affectionate with words, yes. And I always beg people I hang with personally to let me know if some of that bothers them, curtly of course. So far there have been few instances of individuals confusing those signals with ulterior means, things I assure you there's nothing more than me being friendly and supportive.

Imagine idk an excited dog seeing its owner haha

Until the past week, I found myself being tackled by something that made me almost knock everything aside because it made me realize that probably I'm a walking trigger/squick inducer with even the way I wield words like "love" and "friendship".

Almost...

I'm pretty tolerant of whatever way people conduct themselves in this life, the only moment I flinch is when an individual assumes from my default behavior and presentation that I want to impose my way of life... And nopes.

This is simply how and who I am. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't search for conflict but for understanding. My language for expressing marvel and reflections is like this, never to make the other feel awkward or attacked.

So, it upset me knowing that by wielding this forever welcoming and lovable disposition, I can be something to fear and even despite... to some people.

But, you know? That means that my "love" and "friendship" lifestyle are not made for you, no reason to come back to me and point at it. Just keep walking if you have only rage and rejection to give as a reply to my point of view. Because by wielding rage and rejection, what you only do is burn bridges. To create conflict and assume imaginary antagonistic scenarios where there's nothing of that at all.

You can't create the world you wish to live in by burning bridges.

It took me a lot too to forge who I am right now. I even keep learning and chiseling through traumas and mistakes—kindness and patience taught me more than rage and rejection. And "love" and "friendship" are the bricks I chose to build those bridges. I know everyone else uses different concepts but in the end, we all build bridges. By creating bridges and inviting others to do the same, I expand not only my world, but the other's too!

Isn't that better than demanding to be this or that through a black/white flag of rage and rejection? I think so. And I understand perfectly we sometimes need to be blunt when marking our boundaries. Still, never justifies treating the other bad.

And if some of you find "fake" or distasteful the way I wear this flag of "love" and "friendship" I'm sorry: this place will never be safe for you then. The exit door is always open. Go ahead.

I hope you find your place and flags out there too, but don't forget that to do that you need to build bridges. If you don't want to call it "friendship" call it "glue" or whatever makes you comfortable, but don't kick people like me who fought with claws and teeth to reclaim those words and feelings.

Fight your fight by being a good example, not a bad experience that makes someone never want to deal with something like this again in their life.

"Any color you like, (in the end) they're all blue."

#windy squeals #im so sorry if i end upsetting someone with my point of view #with my expressive way to use words #or my overly dramatic behavior #its all real i swear these are all real #and you dont need to give me back the same level of energy #just be clear af and say what you need because i dont read minds #im tired of being seeing as a clown or be infantilized because of this #or feared like im a sort of vampire that sucks emotions because NO #or that im intolerant to people that dont follow those -normatives because believe me #im too very asocial to certain cues but intead of raging about them #i try to create new rules that fit better my way to navigate life #the only way to achieve what we want is by stating it gently #not setting on fire posibilities to create new connections and points of view #but i guess there will be always be people that prefer to live in a bubble and expect the whole diverse world to mold to them #and i say that as an aroace that used to be intolerant of the normatives that push my boundaries to the edge #but eh sometimes youll fight but most of the times youll need to dodge and learn to avoid bullets #listen if i sound ableist with this whatever i am then #im not perfect #gotta keep reading and relearning and updating my brain ugh

[turtletaubwrites]

why am i so stressed out about the boops? 😭

#boop o meter #i've opted in and out three times lol #what are the social norms? #what are the expectations? #do you like or want boops? #would you be annoyed by the boops? #will i offend people for not booping them? #i'm gonna cry 😭😭😭 #neurospicy #neurodivergent problems #turtletaub talks

[inexplicably-spookified]

diversity win! this witch is bi... lingual?

#anise #murasaki #my ocs #scribblins #because i feel like dumping some worldbuilding: #witches don't really 'do' sexuality the way humans do #because their cultural understanding of gender/presentation is a lot different #tldr ambiguity and neutrality is the default and the specifics of someone's gender are none of your business #unless your relationship with the person requires you to know or they trust you #to the point where even asking for someone's pronouns is considered rude (you're expected to use neutral terms by default) #and even past that they don't have a perception of binary male/female or cis vs trans #you are what you id as and whether or not that's your 'birth' sex is irrelevant (most witches are a little gender fluid anyway) #anyway all this to say is that for anise being bi (or at least the same sentiment) is like... the default in witch culture #but in human culture while it's accepted it's still not the norm #and she's aware of that but knows she doesn't quite understand the full extent of how it's viewed #(hence her anxiety at telling mura) #wow i think this is the most oc lore i've shared publicly for a long time huh #to clarify... this has nothing to do with cs it's original verse stuff #the lines between my fan ocs and my actual ocs are extremely blurred do not ask me how it works

[meyerlansky]

I have successfully boiled my problem with most of the izzy reads that i hate down to a sentence:

he's not sexually repressed, he's emotionally repressed.

#they are different and ihave paragraphs and paragraphs of thoughts on it #but dressing like a leather daddy and holding your hand over an open flame and literally everything else he does #is not the behavior of a man who doesn't know or realize what gets him going #he's not closeted. he's not homophobic. he thinks having Any Positive Emotion not related to violence makes you vulnerable #[and he's right for his experience and circumstance but i won't touch that now] #his conflict is emotional; ed's ability to captain isn't compromised by his being attracted to a man. it's compromised by Having Feelings. #their ability to survive a world that wants them dead isn't compromised by either of them being queer; it's compromised by being SOFT #by having WEAK SPOTS #pets are a weak spot. lovers are a weak spot. get rid of them to stay safe. not out of spite. #not out of a disdain for those relationships themselves. out of disdain for what Feelings Do To You #idk man maybe i am simply emphatic about this nuance because i get—more than I would like—the impulse to be SAFE #even at the cost of your self and some chances at being happier #he doesn't even care that lucius is gay in the deck scene and i'd go so far as to say he doesn't really care that lucius is slutty #insofar as. like. he doesn't know him and pete are open. from a monogamy-normative perspective it's a betrayal. #your partner being unfaithful when you expect them To Be is ALSO A THING THAT CAN GET YOU KILLED #like idk i just. i think people don't get how much of him is about safety? #and i know the show's created this atmosphere of 'homophobia isn't a real threat' #but they haven't removed the violence and danger crews other than stede face for Other Reasons #so. he's very security-driven. and that's why he speaks to me. #and it's annoying that people just make 'lol izzy's closeted' 'peak homophobic gay' jokes instead of. engaging. with the shit izzy AND ED #went through to make them emotionally closed off the way they are #THE SENTENCE IS A SENTENCE BUT THE EXPLANATION SURE ISNT

[bookwyrminspiration]

it DOES matter and DON'T you DARE take the easy way out you MOTHERFU—

#kotlc #sokeefitz #obligatory disclaimer that i know sophie doesn't have to be poly and that it's okay to be singular in your attraction and commitment #and that for canon sophie that's how it works #however! this is fandom. canon is just a guide and here i say FUCK THE NORMS #yeah it CAN work like that but it doesn't always have to and I want some change! #she and fitz both still like each other to a degree. they can make something with that! they can be a triad! #PLEASE shannon #moments where it really hits you how allocishet middle grade series this series is #like of COURSE that's what shannon wrote. it's exactly what I would expect #<- that's not meant to be mean it's just like yeah. this the kind of author shannon is #we're an incredibly queer fandom but reality is the books are incredibly not regardless of that #you can just feel it in the bones of the series #having Thoughts #i haven't fully articulated myself so just. heads up if something sounds weird that's probably why

[gregoryeddiesgoldchain]

i think that if they do a whole “hurt the nice guy on the way to ur real love” thing with manny i’ll be a lil disappointed honestly. don’t get me wrong i still love gregory but i just feel like quinta and the team are more creative than that

#nothing has been exactly what we expect and I hope they continue to subvert those norms in the usually fun ways that they do #like I understand that Janine is finding herself and being selfish with her time and goals #and I’m very much here for that #but I think they can do that and explore whatever might or might not be there with manny and eventually Gregory #without being shitty to manny in the process #I just hate that trope in romance stuff #there’s absolutely something to be said for the importance and beauty of new experiences and yeah sometimes being with someone else #shows you what you really want #but there’s a way to do that without being horrible and gross #and I think if anyone can find it it’s Janine and Quinta #abbott elementary #janine teagues #ae s3

[consolecadet]

However much of the dominant culture you think you've excised from yourself, there's always more to uncover and tear out, and it is so exhausting

#I'm really bad at discerning between 'I want to do this thing' and 'I think everyone expects me to do it' and 'I assume I must do it' #and wedding planning (even though we've opted for the guestless courthouse route) is sooooo loaded I keep being confronted by my own biases #mostly in the form of I Have to do this thing->wait why do I Have to?->do I want to?->do I only want to because of a social norm? #->do I even agree with or value that norm? #etc etc etc #I'm also scared for whatever reason that if I talk about marriage incorrectly everyone will decide that I'm evil sooooooo #idk. I just want to do what I want and not care what anyone but KC thinks #but that requires me to know what I want and why. which I am historically very bad at #boring text posts

[halfyearsqueen]

she has nothing against daughters inheriting over sons and never has - but she knows the realities that she’s faced as a female attempting to fight for her position when there is a male claimant, and she’s the king’s daughter. with the backing of the king. it was a ? kind of an open secret that many believed she was an exception and not a standard to be set, and she was so incredibly visible and incredibly watched, she couldn’t outwardly express those ideals without worry of men Getting Scared and loosing their support entirely. because she does ? embody the potential for change even if she couldn’t push for it so much outwardly.

#she’s standing on a consistent precipice of honoring what is expected of her as a woman in her society and doing her duty to her father and #to the realm while #also proving that she could rule and rule well in her own right and not just as a avenue in which her husband could rule through her #it’s that sort of duality of vision in the sense of her very existence defies the norms of what is expected of women #and she’s consistently punished for it and like ? this is why she and laena tie her sons and her daughter’s claims together when they’re #toddlers #so rhaenys’ bloodline could sit the iron throne one day and laena’s could inherit driftmark #and like the two daughters who’s claims were passed over during the dance for their brothers is ? her worry over loosing support is so very #exacerbated by her debilitating mental health and mounting paranoia #and the decision very much does come back to bite her in the ass 😭 #and corlys basically tells her in that conversation what she already knew #she’s not a feminist by our standards by any means but that’s ? because she’s been between a rock and a hard place since she was nine years #old #and she wanted to be able to build the foundations for absolute primogeniture during her reign #to be implemented and passed into law during Jace’s

[19thcenturyfuck]

every time i get into a fandom i tell myself i will not fixate on some bizarre worldbuilding detail. anyway, here i am going insane thinking about time lord societal views/attitudes/norms/etc. about regeneration

#is there like a standard awkward ''explaining regeneration to kids as non-scarily as possible'' conversation #(like along the lines of the standard awkward ''explaining death to kids'' conversation) #is it the norm to regenerate from old age 12 times? how many traumatic regenerations is considered abnormal? #are post-regenerative symptoms considered a valid excuse to miss work or class? or are you expected to suck it up and come in anyway? #are there social norms on what to do after regenerating? like ''self-rediscovery'' type stuff #i think about this TOO MUCH #doctor who #there's probably a whole lot of obscure and frequently self-contradictory lore about a lot of those questions tbh

[wonder-worker]

A.J Pollard’s biography on Edward IV was so cringe lol (generic; minor but frustrating inaccuracies; intensely judgmental at times and oddly dismissive at others while never considering the broader context; entirely diminished and trivialized Elizabeth Woodville as both queen and wife of his main subject in the name of "defending" her; created a false dichotomy between Edward and Henry VII’s styles of ruling and lauded the latter at the former’s expense even though Henry literally followed Edward’s example for the very things Pollard was criticizing Edward for; had a downright nonsensical and thoroughly misleading conclusion about Edward’s legacy & Richard’s usurpation that was based entirely on hindsight, Pollard's own assumptions, and the complete downplaying Richard’s agency and actions to emphasize what Pollard wrongly and misleadingly claimed were Edward's so-called 'failings', etc, etc)

I wanted to buy his book on Henry V but after reading this shitshow and the synopsis of that book, im guessing it's going to be 10x worse, so...no thanks

#history media #this was written months ago im posting it to get it out of my drafts #it wasn't necessarily BAD. it was generic and readable. but it was very disappointing and misleading and its conclusion was just nonsense #listen I have no patience for the dumbfuck idea that edward somehow had the ultimate responsibility for his own son's deposition because #of his 'policies' during his reign. like I said it's based fully on hindsight and entirely devoid of actual context. it's bafflingly stupid #literally everyone expected Edward V to succeed his father and 'both hoped for and expected' (Croyland's own words) a successful reign #Edward V's deposition was richard and solely Richard's fault lol this should not be difficult to understand #the reason Richard's usurpation was possible in the first place was bcause everyone expected E5 to succeed and didn't expect Richard #do to what he did. nothing would have happened without his initiative and decisions. it had nothing to do with Edward's 'policies' #Edward's policies were fine. henry vii - who pollard vaunts to no end - literally *followed* them #and claiming that he failed to unite England under the Yorkist dynasty is just plain stupid #buddy if he truly failed at that then neither Richard III nor Henry VII would have thrones lol. both emphasized continuity with #him when aiming for the throne. like the whole point of 1483-85 was that it was a conflict WITHIN the 'Yorkist' dynasty #it was not an external threat against it. #'his legacy failed' his legacy didn't fail his brother destroyed it (while also presenting himself as his heir because logic what's logic?) #henry's victory was very much the triumph of his legacy (a claimant chosen by his supporters as the husband of his daughter) #like this is really not my interpretation it is literally what happened #i'm not trying to glorify e4 but his son did inherit the throne in a more advantageous circumstances than any other minor king of england #and frankly than most other adult kings. dumping blame on Edward's literal corpse rather than acknowledge Richard's agency is so tasteless #the problem isn't that edward made a mistake in trusting his brother. many other kings including Henry V also trusted theirs. #the problem is that his brother was willing to break that trust in a way that was unprecedented and broke all political norms of that age #ie: Richard's usurpation occurred because of Richard who re-ignited conflict to make himself king. please drill this into your head #also btw this illogical 'interpretation' is based entirely on Charles Ross' hatred and derision towards Elizabeth Woodville and her family #if you agree with this inteterpretation you agree with his vilification of them 🤷🏻‍♀️ #anyway if you want a better interpretation that's actually analytical and looks a relevant rather than a flawed retrospective perspective #i would recommend rosemary horrox's 'richard iii: a study of service' and david horspool's 'richard iii: a ruler and his reputation' #anyway one last time: STOP downplaying Richard's agency and actions. historians who do this are stupid and embarrassing. bye. #(i should really post horspool's glorious takedown of ross and Pollard huh? it was very entertaining to read)

[themidnightcircusshow]

Every new thing I learn about James Somerton's process just drives home how he almost (but really doesn't) knows what he's doing. Yes, of course you use the sources you read as a jumping off point. Of course you copy and paste the important sections into your outline document so you can reread them. That's why you put them in quotation marks.

#James Somerton #honesty time: I totally believe he did this by accident #his entire problem is that he writes like a fandom account with bad takes #his anecdotal evidence that Todd in the Shadows spent a two hour video trying to find sources for? #they're all fandom drama taken out of their cultural context #(yes fandom counts as a subculture and therefore has specific context) #and all of it gets attributed to straight white women coz everyone knows shippers are all straight and cis women /s #he simultaneously treats his videos like bad fandom meta and Documentaries of Great Importance and those just do not mesh #it's part of why his videos were so unbearable if you actually knew what he was talking about #he learned how to make a youtube video essay. He did not learn how to write or study any of his chosen subject matter #I think that's also why he was not expecting to be called out the way he has because I suspect he probably thought everyone wrote this way #a lot of old video essayists especially the Chez Apocalypse bunch were very good at not broadcasting just how much went into their videos #so their style that has now become the norm feels incredibly off the cuff but is heavily researched #but also they are using that research to support their own hypotheses and ideas as you are supposed to #so I wonder if when he got called out he just brushed it off because surely he just writes the same way everyone writes #(and hey fandom posts are rarely cited because they assume everyone knows what they are talking about) #it almost makes me feel sorry for him but all I can think about is how catstrophically bad he is at this job #oh and for everyone wondering: I've found the best way to research is to put quotes in quotation marks #paraphrasing in either different punctuating or a different colour #and your own personal thoughts based on the source in something different again #all with the correct citations for your preferred style #this makes sure you have everything cited so when you put it all together you can do it easily without having to go back through it all #and prevents this from happening #(tbh I'm kinda sad I'm not still teaching. This would have been a perfect meme for how to do your damn citations week)