#what my mom went through in last 6 months is insane

[rinniessance]

DADDY'S FAVORITE GIRL ༊*·˚ - step dad!gojo x fem!reader

going away for college, the last thing you expected to come back to in the summer is a new step-dad. and you do not like the dangerous glint in his eyes every time he looks at you.

꒰ warnings: nsfw - dark content - mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ non-curse au. step dad!gojo, stepcest, age difference (reader is implied to be 21, gojo is in his late 30s), dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, cheating, heavy daddy kink, so many pet names (babygirl, pretty, doll, princess etc.), slight dacraphyllia, slight overstimulation, breeding kink, unprotected sex, virginity loss, corruption kink. plot is kinda messy 'cause i was rushing to get to the smut, sowwy ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ // word count: 5.1k ꒱ ꒰ notes: i am freely being my most disgusting self, thank you for supporting my little insane brain .ᐟ.ᐟ꒱

going away for college, the last thing you expected to come back to during summer break is a new step-dad. ever since your parents divorced when you were 14, your mom has been single – your teenage years, she dedicated herself to you, protecting you from your scumbag father, focusing on your future. you even agreed to delay your college admittance until you were 20, taking two gap years after your high school to stay at your hometown with her. your mom has the worst case of separation anxiety – which is why maybe you should’ve been more concerned when she gradually stopped texting you as the days went on. you assumed the best – maybe she found a hobby, maybe she reconnected with old friends, maybe she finally realized you are an adult and stopped babying you every waking moment. what you did not expect is for her to get married.

these are the thoughts running through you head as you stand in the middle of your living room, fresh out the airport, gawking at the man sleeping on the couch, and wonder how the fuck that happened. you would’ve honestly screamed and thought this was a squatter, or a robber, if not for all the wedding pictures obnoxiously decorating almost every available surface (god, how many photos do you need?). you try not to think too much about it – the flight was 6 hours, you barely got any sleep sitting to the smelliest man on the planet, and you just want to take a shower and go to bed. just as you start walking off, the front door swings open.

“oh my god, sweetheart, you’re home!” your mom’s voice booms through the quiet room resonating like a thunderclap in the middle of a still field. she runs to you, immediately pulling you into a hug which you happily return. you’re genuinely delighted to see her, albeit feeling a little weirded out by a man she decided to bring home. your mother looks over to the couch, man’s sleeping figure not moving once, and sighs with exasperation. “i assume he didn’t pick you up?”

“no but it’s okay…” you whisper quietly and gesture towards the figure on the couch with your head, “about that, though…”

“yeah, honey, i know, i am sorry i didn’t tell you. everything has been happening so quickly, i haven’t even had time to process it myself!” she squealed like a school girl. “his name is satoru gojo and we met at the charity event i went to six months ago.”

“since when do you attend charity events?” you ask, quirking the brow upwards.

“oh, i didn’t know what to do with myself ever since you moved out so i’ve been trying anything and everything. and look, the results have been phenomenal!” she giggled, frustration she had towards her husband about not picking you up melting away in front of your eyes. god, he really had her wrapped around his finger.

“okay, well, i am kind of tired so i wanted to go to bed. is it okay if we talk about this tomorrow?”

your mom suddenly looks down at her feet, a little embarrassed. what did she do.

“yes, about that… that room was sitting unutilized the whole time you were away so satoru and i thought it would be a good idea to remake it into a home office, kind of. your bed is still in there though! so you can sleep in the room no problem.”

“mom, what the fuck…” you whine. not only your room with all your memories and all your personality was gone and demolished, you now have to sleep in the room that was most likely used by him. “home office” my ass, you thought – your mom would not need it in a million years, and by the way she’s avoiding your gaze in shame, it was definitely not her idea.

“i’m sorry baby, but you’ve been away and…”

you interrupt her with a wave of your hand.

“whatever, i’m too tired to think about it. i’ll take a shower and go to bed, i don’t wanna deal with him until tomorrow,” you sigh with frustration and walk off into your home office, dropping your things on the floor.

what you don’t see as you walk off is the dangerous glint in satoru’s eyes as he listens to every bits of your conversation. you said the last sentence with so much poison, he thinks it might’ve struck him dead. gojo knows it will be difficult to get on your good side now but he likes to play these games on hard mode.

oh, you will be so much fun to break.

gojo satoru is a patient man – when he really wants something, he is content to wait until he gets it. that being the main reason why he approaches you slowly. it’s the next day after you arrive that he has a chance to introduce himself properly.

you leave the room after having the best night’s sleep – you really didn’t mind waking up in the office today, you must’ve been too tired to think straight and threw a fit yesterday. you make a mental note to apologize to your mom later. as you turn into the kitchen, you’re met with the view you wish did not have such a strong effect on you – your step-dad, freshly out of the shower, grey sweatpants low riding on his hips, is preparing what seems to be breakfast.

you’re so fucked.

you try to shake off the feeling of arousal washing over you. you may not have had a chance to have any sexual experiences yet, but you’re not that much of a virgin not to know when you’re feeling horny. you just wish it wasn’t due to the incredibly hot step-dad. the left-over frustration from previous night bubbles up like over spilled champagne and you decide to keep your distance. anger helps you keep yourself grounded, and you maneuver around the man to make breakfast, but you see that he prepared it for you already.

“oh, thank you,” you say quietly as he extends the plate to you.

“you’re very welcome, sweetheart.”

the nickname sends a shiver down your spine.

gojo turns to face you and gives you his breathtaking smile. you want to choke on your toast.

“i wanted to apologize for not picking you up yesterday. your mom told me so much about you, and i was excited to meet her ‘favorite girl’,” his eyes spark with a dangerous glint at the nickname, making you shrink into yourself, “but my work held me up, and then i think i went for a quick nap and… uh… ended up falling asleep,” he says with a light chuckle.

“that’s okay, i didn’t really mind the train ride,” you respond with visible discomfort,

he now stands next to you by the counter, his body heat palpable, melting over you like a scorching son. gojo’s all-teeth smile is gorgeous, frustratingly enough, but it makes your skin crawl: like a prey walking into the carefully designed trap, you can feel your gut asking you to run. it makes sense your mom fell for him so easily.

“will you let me make up for it? let’s go our for a dinner, i’m sure your mom would be delighted to hear we’re trying to get along.”

“i don’t know, i haven’t seen my friends in some time, i think i’ll be hanging out with them for a while,” you shuffle from leg to leg, trying to move away

“that’s okay, we have a whole summer ahead.”

for some reason it felt more like a threat than a promise.

you smile politely back, not knowing what to say, rushing to finish your breakfast. the image of your step-dad, half-naked in your family kitchen talking to you about his plans with you for the whole summer should be weird – it’s difficult to find it weird when the said step-dad is criminally hot, unfortunately.

“i think i’ll go now, thanks for the breakfast,” gojo’s gives you a smile so sweet, it somehow triggers a toothache, and waves you off. since yesterday, he’s been making you feel extremely on edge for no apparent reason, it’s driving you a little insane.

when you come back home that evening, you are greeted by both your mom and satoru with the dinner ready. she babbles about how great of a cook he is, and that she can’t wait until you try it. you politely decline citing that you’re full and quickly leave for your room – satoru’s blue eyes were looking at you with almost an animalistic stare, and you hated that you liked it.

gojo thought things were going well with you – he’s given you the space you need in the first two weeks after you arrived. your mom was overjoyed seeing how deeply satoru already cared about you – making sure you eat in the morning, not letting you go to bed without a meal, always checking on you throughout the day, keeping you safe. you, however, thought it was… weird, if anything, that he was all around you this intensely.

“oh, honey, that’s just how he shows that he cares. he was like that with me as well,” your mom tells you one of the nights when you bring it up. it worries you how easily she takes his side now and wonder if something else is going on.

satoru picks you up when you stay out too late, to the wee hour of the night when the subways stop running; he makes sure you have your nights with your mom, when he doesn’t intrude on your backyard conversations and only adores you pretty features from his second-floor window; he learns what movies and music and tv you like, trying to decipher the person that is you.

he’s been putting all this effort to get to know your every step – then why the fuck does he find you one night you kissing some random boy on your driveway?

you said you were going out today and no pickup was needed – now it makes sense why.

gojo satoru is a patient man. but even his patience can start running thin, trickling like water through cracks in the fingers. hourglass of his kindness has been half full for a while now – it’s about time the sand runs out.

you think a boy like him can give you what satoru can? just you wait and see.

kitchen is uncharacteristically quiet when you walk in. it’s the next morning, and usually by now, satoru would be making breakfast for you. his job is still unknown – you are not sure if he was suddenly called in but the feeling of happy solitude falls over you, even if for a moment.

your mom is gone at least for two weeks for work, you’re dreading the moment you have to be left alone with your step-dad. the look in his eyes yesterday was dangerous, a predator appraising its victim before sinking its teeth in, and you’re happy megumi was able to leave quickly after walking you home. surprisingly, gojo didn’t say you a word when you walked into the house, silently sitting in front of the tv like he didn’t just spy through the window on your kiss with the boy.

air in the room was heavy with tension – you knew satoru was avoiding looking your way, jaw clenched, hands balled into fists. instinctively, you wanted to break the silence, say something to discharge the electricity jumping through the atoms of your stuffy living room air, but ultimately decided against it. you have nothing to say to a man, and it’s not like you needed to justify your actions in front of him anyways. you quickly retreated into the office and avoided him until you fell asleep.

when you woke up to an empty apartment not even fifteen minutes ago, you felt relief. walking into the kitchen and confirming your presence alone, you even felt happy. then what is this weird feeling, almost as if you are missing something, nagging at you? you thought of going out today but now a strange desire to stay at home washes over.

you make breakfast for the first time since you came home (gojo didn’t skip a single day, you have no idea how he kept up with that), and you chastise yourself for feeling weird about cooking for yourself; and you chastise yourself again when your mind lingers on the thoughts of a certain white-haired man; and again when you look at your phone, convincing yourself it’s a bad idea to text him. god, you feel so stupid. didn’t you want him to stop being so unsettlingly sweet and dotting around you all the time?

conflicted by your irrationality once again, you frustratingly take your plate and sit down on the couch. flipping through the netlifx previews, you land on something to distract your mind by. you settle on some true crime documentary and let the horrors on the screen consume you, abandoning for a moment the thoughts plaguing your head.

you’ve been glued to the screen for at least two hours before you heard the jiggle of the keys. like an eager puppy, you waited for gojo to come inside and greet you like he would every day – only for him to completely ignore your presence, beelining straight for the kitchen. turning your head back to the tv, you try your best not to pay any attention to the uncharacteristic behavior from satoru’s end.

“i will be in the home office the whole day, don’t enter.”

before you can respond anything back, your step-dad is already walking off without sparing you a second glance. is he still upset from yesterday? you didn’t think kissing megumi would be that much of a deal. your nervously play with the hem of the blanket, show playing on tv long forgotten, contemplating what you should do next. why are you bothered by his silence this much anyways?

rethinking your earlier choice, you send a quick text to your friend asking to meet you for drinks. maybe right now gojo needs space, or whatever, and leaving him alone is the best next thing right now. you knock at the door of the home office.

“sorry, i am going out now and need to quickly change.”

not even 5 seconds pass before the door is swung open by a man that’s been occupying too much of your mental space today.

“be quick,” is the only response you get before he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. you’re perplexed by this sudden change in behavior yet again. throwing on the first decent outfit you can find, you let gojo know that you’re done and will be home later; hum is the only acknowledgment you get before he disappears in the office.

exiling all the thoughts of satoru gojo from your head, you leave your house, hoping tomorrow will put all the pieces of the puzzle back together.

yet the next day comes, and you still wake up to no warmth from satoru – it felt as if he built a wall between the two of you in one night’s span, impossible to be breached. should you talk to him? should you apologize? and apologize for what? you didn’t do anything wrong, did you? ignoring the gnawing feeling inside once more, you retreat to the living room, sulking on the couch until the end of the day, clawing onto the hope gojo of tomorrow will acknowledge your existence.

“did i do something wrong?”

you stand in the doorway to gojo’s office, arms crossed over your chest. he lazily turns his head your way as if giving you even a second of his time is too much of a bother – the look he sends you is burning through your core, making you pathetically weak and wet.

“no,” he starts slowly, “do you think you did something wrong?”

“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking. you’ve been ignoring me for the past week, and it’s getting weird.”

“i thought i’d leave you alone, it seems you’re capable of having fun on your own.”

satoru is looking back to his screen now, and you scrunch your eyebrows, frustrated by the riddles he’s throwing your way. walking inside the room, your close the door on instinct and take wide steps to stand in front of him.

“stop answering me like this, we’re not playing a charade. what do you mean?” the demand in your voice is clear, and it twists something inside satoru – his gaze falls on you again yet this time it’s dark, taunting, dangerous, with a hint of chaos. it scares and excites you.

gojo suddenly stands up, and pushes you into his desk until you’re sitting on it. he is tall – your mom basically married a giant – and you try to curl into yourself to escape his malicious eyes.

“what, i thought you wanted me to leave your alone? you want my attention now all of a sudden?” he respond with the question of his own in a mocking tone.

“i never said i wanted you to ignore me…” you answer meekly, yelping slightly as your back hits his desk – you suddenly realize there is nowhere to run now.

“really? we’ve been together in a house for almost a month now, and yet you showed no interest in getting to know me.”

“’m sorry…” you cannot think of anything else to say. gojo moves even closer, and is now towering over you – it makes you embarrassingly horny.

“show me how sorry you are.”

before you can respond, he is caging your body with his and capturing your lips in a kiss, and you freeze – all of this is so wrong, you cannot bring yourself to start moving your mouth against his. gojo’s tongue coerces its way inside, exploring the undiscovered paths, his teeth biting your still lips. closing your eyes, you whimper and try to push him away but he only catches your wrists with his one hand, while the other plays with the hem of your shorts. a gasp escapes your lips, and you push yourself further into the desk, squirming under gojo’s body.

“what, you don’t like it? i thought my little girl wanted daddy’s attention?” he torments you, voice condescending and thick with mockery. all you can muster is a pathetic mewl, words lost somewhere inside your throat, and dig your fingers into the edge of your desk as your step-dad forces his digits inside your panties, lightly brushing against your clit.

“god, you’re already so wet, so filthy,” he whispers between the heated kisses as the pads of his fingers keep teasing your pussy. “tell me, babygirl, are you still a virgin? gotta know how to treat you.”

“y-yes…”

“well, am i just not the luckiest?” gojo chuckles darkly, spreading your legs with his thigh. unoccupied hand goes to grip your hip while the fingers on the other are still working your clit, sliding the digits between your puffy lips, teasing your hole. every time he circles around the entrance and mocks by pushing his finger just slightly inside, the moan builds up in your throat, and you’re too embarrassed to let it out.

“common, baby, your daddy wants to hear you, don’t hide your pretty voice from me.”

gojo is infuriatingly good with his fingers – you could never bring yourself this much pleasure from playing with your clit, and your defiance starts melting away as you find yourself bucking your hips into his hand, whining pitifully. the man completely removes your shorts and underwear, shoving the latter into his pocket – something to remember this moment by.

“god, such a pretty pussy, i can’t believe you’ve been hiding it from me. take off your shirt so i can see all of you, princess.”

immense desire pools between your legs, hunger and lust evident in satoru’s cerulean eyes, now hidden by dilated pupils, and you’re surrendering yourself to him – want makes you delirious, completely erasing your sense of right and wrong. you remove the top, nipples perked and waiting. gojo looks at you in wonder and disbelief – all of that for him? his hand went to squeeze your boob almost on an instinct, rolling the nipple between the pads of his fingers, while sucking on another with his mouth. you drop your head back, losing yourself to the intense pleasure your step-dad’s giving you. seeing as you’re distracted by him playing with your tits, he takes this as his chance to shove two of his fingers inside.

a strangled moan leaves your lips, your hands gripping man’s shoulders.

“ahhh, that hurts, satoru.”

“nah-uh, that’s not what i want to hear you calling me,” he straightens himself and starts scissoring you with his digits. the initial intrusion is painful, you can feel your virgin walls stretching to accommodate for how he’s dragging the fingers in and out, yet the burn is woefully delightful, and you’re getting lost again.

“’m sorry daddy.”

gojo only chuckles – god, you were easier than he expected, so well-behaved and pliable under him.

“that’s right, let daddy take good care of you.”

he speeds up the pace, curling his slender, pretty fingers, brushing the spots you were never able to reach with your own. wet, soggy sounds fill the entirety of the room, air already stuffy with smell of sex as he continues to finger-fuck your pussy. gojo could feel his cock twitching in his pants, he wanted to take you right there and then, but he was determined to make you cum on his digits first – it prompts him to attach his lips to your neck, sucking on the sensitive spot below your jawline, marking you as his.

your mewling turns louder, breathing is getting labored, and it seems your hips have a mind of their own now as they are bucking into satoru’s movements, fucking yourself how you need it. something akin to orgasm starts building up in your tummy – it has never felt this all-consuming, you wonder if you’ve been touching yourself wrong all this time.

“daddy, please don’t – ah! – stop,” is everything you can say in a measly attempt to ask him to speed up. his thumb finds your neglected clit, rubbing tight circles around your bundle of nerves, and picks up the pace, cunt now clenching even tighter around his two fingers, and gojo groans thinking how you’d feel around his aching dick. he adds a third finger – it’s angled so perfectly assault your special spongy spot, it turns your brain into a mush.

gojo pinches your nipple, kissing you to swallow all the lewd moans to himself.

“is my princess close?”

“yes daddy, ‘m so close.”

“common, cum all over my fingers, baby.”

these words finally push you over the edge – your climax washes over you like a cold morning shower, leaving you trembling in gojo’s hold. your legs are trying to close to stop the man from continuing his abuse on your twitching pussy but he is too lost in the feeling of your walls constricting around his fingers to allow you to do that. he fucks you through your orgasm, bringing you to the realm of overstimulation.

“ahh, daddy, please, it hurts now,” you whine with teary voice, beads of salty water gathering in the corners of your eyes.

“shhhh, daddy knows best, yeah? let me feel you a little longer.”

gojo keeps his pace until you’re clawing at his arm, trying to pull away your pussy from his fingers. he grabs you by the back of your head, bruising your lips with the intensity of his kiss – you’re sure he draws blood by how he bites your lower lip, licking the messy aftermath. you’re still whining and mewling, trails of tears finally flowing down your face, and he’s sure he’s never seen anything hotter as he licks the salty tracks.

“you’ve done so good, babygirl, i think you’re ready for the main gift,” satoru says and finally withdraws his fingers. the emptiness is welcoming yet disappointing, and you groan. gojo quickly unbuckles his pants and shoves them down, alongside his boxer briefs, and you almost choke on your spit when you see how well-endowed he is. you don’t have a lot to compare it to but you think his cock is beautiful – it's long and slender, and uncut, prominent vein running all the way from the base to just underside of his head, and you get an immeasurable desire to run your tongue along it.

“is my pretty doll drooling jus’ at the sight of my dick?” he mockingly asks you, making you turn your gaze away. gojo chuckles again, and grabs you by your chin, pulling your head down.

“no looking away, darling, i want you to see how i take your virginity.”

with no other option, you keep your gaze peeled downwards, to where gojo strokes himself couple of times before lining himself up with your leaking hole. despite all the preparation and your previous orgasm, you’re still incredibly tight and satoru groans as he starts pushing himself inside. you can see his smooth cockhead bullying his way into you, stretching your greedy walls – man feels you pulsating around him, and that makes him twitch.

“fuck, princess, you’re so tight, feels so good.”

gojo finally sinks all the way in, your cervix being met in a kiss by a swollen tip, and you moan, sound almost pornographic. your step-dad doesn’t let you adjust before he pulls out almost all the way before sliding back in – he doesn’t go easy on you for your first time, setting up a brutal pace, not caring if you’re ready to take him fully yet. it stings, and you have to hold yourself on gojo’s shoulder’s as he starts fucking into you. his hands are on your hips, guiding them to meet his thrusts.

“daddy please, ‘ts too much,” you cry out but satoru is all too lost in how your gummy walls perfectly hug his swollen cock. he doesn’t respond, shutting you up by forcing his tongue into his mouth yet again, sucking on every piece of available flesh. slowly, the tension in your body melts away and gives way to a new kind of pressure – the one building up in your tummy. you’re shocked at how fast your body is able to start getting on the road to blissful ecstasy again but you’re not complaining.

“shit, are you getting close already, babygirl? i can feel your pretty pussy squeezing me again.”

“yes, sorry daddy.”

“there is nothing to be sorry about, just means your daddy’s doing a good job,” he says with a grin, keeping up the pace, rutting into your sloppy cunt. queefing sounds and slapping of skin on skin make you blush furiously yet you can’t take away your gaze from where satoru keeps burying himself inside you.

the girth of gojo’s cock is deadly – not only he’s able to reach the spongy spot almost immediately, making white spots dancing across your vision, kaleidoscope of pleasure lighting up your every nerve ending, he is also bruising your cervix just with enough pressure to make you twitch in delight. his pubic bone grinds against your puffy clit and it’s setting up fireworks against your skin, hot molten lava igniting your whole being.

your moaning becomes uncontrollable as satoru’s fucking you in an animalistic pace – he keeps splitting you open, the spread of legs is slowly growing uncomfortable.

“look how good you’re taking me, being such a good girl for me,” he’s babbling, edging himself too – he wants to feel you spasming around his cock, he cannot let himself cum before that. “gonna feel so good cumming inside, pretty. give you a cute little brother or sister, huh? what do you think? i bet you’ll look so gorgeous being pregnant with my baby.”

“no, daddy, you can’t do that…”

“hm, why? just imagine, you walking around, with my child inside your belly, all cute and swollen for me, tits full of milk. wouldn’t you want that?”

you hiccup a sob as gojo keeps dragging his heavy cock in and out of you, the vein you saw before pressing against your walls deliciously, and you feel your toes start to curl as your body chases after the second orgasm. you dig your nails into his biceps, certain to leave half moon marks on his porcelain skin, and bite your lip. in turn, he is pressing his fingers against the plum skin of your hips, marking you with bruises to remind you of this tomorrow.

“shit, i haven’t fucked your cunny for that long yet it’s already perfectly snuggled around me. i’m training it fast, huh? i’m gonna teach it to fit only me,” you can hear the grin in his voice as he says that.

gojo feels your walls tighten around him – he can see you’re teetering on the edge of climax, whining and moaning under the man, letting him completely use you – so he picks up the speed, assaulting your abused pussy. it doesn’t take longer than that for the tension in your tummy to snap, and you’re wantonly crying out satoru’s name.

“fuck, dollface, you’re squeezing me so perfectly right now. want to milk me for all i’ve got?”

you’re cock drunk, unable to respond to him, hoping your mewling will be enough for the man to see he fucked you stupid. he is not showing signs of slowing down – you can only continue whining as satoru chases after his own pleasure. he pistons his hips couple of times more, and you can feel him throbbing inside as he shoots creamy ropes of cum inside you, painting your womb white. the ring of mixed fluids at the bottom of his cock drives him insane, and he continues fucking his cum into you.

“shit baby, can’t waste a single drop now, can we.”

you’re letting out a quiet sob, pleasure too overwhelming and almost feverish, still unable to find your voice. when he deems it satisfactory that his seed is all warm inside you, gojo finally pulls out and kisses the top of your head.

“i’d say this was a good practice run, what do you say? your mom only comes back in a week, i’ll make you my personal cumdump until then.”

you snap your head up at his words, the smile playing on your step-dad’s face borderline sinister. you think it’s supposed to make you scared, then why is your pussy already twitching around nothing?

“yes daddy, anything for you.”

#꒰ྀི penned by ange ꒱ྀི #gojo smut #jjk smut #satoru gojo smut #gojo satoru smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #jjk x you #satoru gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo x y/n #jjk x y/n #satoru gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x y/n

[maggiedanikka]

Let Me Go (Epilogue)

Pairing: Hangman x f!reader, Rooster x f!reader

Warnings: none, teenagers being teenagers, ANGST (but you knew that), bittersweet ending

Word Count: 5.8k

Summary: Reader is married and shares a child with Hangman, Life and circumstance drives reader into Rooster’s arms, but Hangman isn’t giving up that easily

A/N: Here it is the epilogue of Let Me Go. I can't believe this story that I thought of during my commute to work last summer, a story that I didn't anyone but me would care about is now at its official end. Even if it did take almost a year, and several hiatuses to get here. I will admit this past year has been some of the hardest of my life, with so many changes and obstacles I've gone through. But this story, this community has always been a safe space for me to run to. I'm sure that not everyone will be happy with how I chose to end this story, but this past year has taught me to trust my instincts as a writer and I will not please everyone, but I hope you understand why I went with what I did. I don't know if you all know this but Let Me Go is actually the first full-length multi-part series I've ever created, and I just wanted to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for taking this journey with me. Whether you've been here from the beginning, if you're a casual reader, someone who has waited months for me to update, to the people who have left me kind and supportive comments, and even to those who weren't necessarily the kindest. Thank you. Enough with all of that, without further ado, Let Me Go the final FINAL part.

Declan Belmont had Astrid pressed against the brick wall at the back of their high school. They definitely should not have been skipping 4th period, but the feeling of how soft her lips against his and the sounds of her whimpers as he grabbed the skin of her hips, definitely made him forget about the important test review they were currently missing. 

“Dec, slow down.” She pulled herself away from him, trying to even her breath. 

“We are not hooking up next to the soccer field.” She told him with a raised eyebrow. 

He let out an exaggerated groan before turning them both around until Declan’s back was the one against the wall. 

“Fine, fair enough” He chuckled as he gave his girlfriend a small peck on the lips. 

“I can’t help it, you look so good today.” He sighed pressing his face into her collarbone breathing in her scent. 

“I can’t keep my hands off of you.” He mumbled into her chest. 

Astrid let out a giggle, pulling his face away from her.

“You say that everyday.” 

“And it’s true!” He exclaimed

“Every. Single. Day” He pecked her lips in between every word. 

“You’re such a dork.” 

“YOUR dork.” 

“Ew you sound just like my dad.” She said, feigning a disgusted face. 

“Speaking of your dad, when are you going to introduce me to your family?” Declan asks her, his once joking demeanor fading to nervousness. 

Astrid backed away from his touch, putting distance between them. 

“Dec..” 

“Come on Atty! We’ve been official for almost 6 months! You’ve met my mom, my brother, even my stupid cousin.”

“Your cousin doesn’t count, we have trig together.” You pointed out.

“Okay fine, but besides the point, you’ve met them!” 

“Are you ashamed of me?” He asked solemnly

“No! That’s not it Dec! My family is just…” Astrid stops to piece together her thoughts.

“They’re absolutely insane!” 

“My aunts and uncles are so loud ALL THE TIME. It’s basically impossible to get ANY work done whenever they’re around.” 

“Don’t get me started on how nosey my Uncle Mickey gets. Like I think that man forgets that he’s nearing 50 and does not need to know why Beca from fourth grade and I aren’t friends anymore.” 

“Or how my Aunt Nat and Uncle Bob, LOVE to torture my dad and the sweet little imbecile he is always takes the bait.”

Astrid didn’t notice how intense her tirade was until she felt her face heating up and Declan staring at her in amusement.

“Sorry..” she told him embarrassed at her outburst. 

“You should really breathe in between monologues, you were turning blue babe.” 

“See what I mean? They make me CRAZY, and I didn’t want you to see that side of me quite yet.” Astrid admitted.

Declan chuckled before approaching Astrid, wrapping his arms around her waist, and using a finger to have her look up at him. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I happen to like your crazy.” Declan kisses the pout off of Astrid’s face. 

“And I really like you, and I don’t see anything short of you committing murder, changing that.” 

“Can I get that in writing?” 

“I’ll even get it notarized.” 

“Lucky for you, my family’s monthly barbeque is happening tomorrow, and I can maybeee get you an invitation.”

“Aw you’d do that for me babe?” 

“I guess, and I do happen to know the host of the party.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Declan felt a knot form in his stomach as he stood outside Astrid's house, trying to muster the courage to knock on the door. He knew he shouldn't be nervous, but he couldn't help the feeling of apprehension that was creeping up on him. What if her family didn't like him? What if he did something embarrassing? What if he accidentally insulted someone?

He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. Technically this was his idea, and Astrid had continually warned him about her family’s many quirks but assured him that they did have good hearts. But she didn’t elaborate further. Declan now mentally kicked himself for not asking more questions about them, now he was going into this meeting blind with no preparation or any talking points. 

“Fucking Amateur Hour Declan!” He muttered to himself, there’s no going back and changing the past now. He couldn’t stand on the front porch forever. 

Finally, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. He could hear the sounds of laughter and conversation coming from inside the house, and his nerves intensified. After what felt like an eternity, the door swung open and he was greeted by an older man, a silver fox with a broad chest wearing a leather military flight jacket. He wasn’t very tall but it didn’t make him any less terrifying. 

“So you’re the boy our little Astrid has been seeing.”  He greeted Declan with a grin 

The man had a warm smile and Declan felt himself release the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

Declan held out a hand towards the older man to shake. 

“No need for all of that son, welcome to the party!” 

The older man pulled Declan into a hug, clapping him on the back and dragging him into the house. 

“Don’t scare him off Pete, he just got here!” A beautiful older woman with brown shoulder length hair and kind eyes laughed at the man. 

“Sorry about him Declan, he’s just excited.”

“I’m Penny, and this is Pete.”

“Call me Mav, son.” He smiled at Declan. 

They led him to the back of the house towards the glass doors with a deck where he had a a clear view into the backyard. 

He saw a handful of men and women standing around the large yard. They held themselves in a way that made it obvious that they were military despite being out of uniform. 

Declan felt his previous nervousness return, feeling his throat get dry. He placed his hand on the door to open it, when he realized that he never properly greeted Astrid’s parents. 

“I am so sorry, I was so nervous that I forgot my manners. It’s so nice to finally meet you Mr. and Mrs Seresin.” Declan beamed at the older couple. 

“Astrid is an amazing girl and its an honor to meet the people that raised her.”

Penny and Mav stared at Declan in confusion before bursting into laughter. 

Declan stood confused at the sudden outburst. 

After they settled down, Mav clapped a hand on Declan’s shoulder. 

“You flatter us son. But we’re not Astrid’s parents.”

“I am Atty’s godmother, and Mav here is her grandpa.” 

“Hey! You say that like I’m old!” Mav pouted.

“If I’m her grandpa that makes you her grandma.” He pointed out.

“No way old man, I am perfectly happy being Auntie Penny.” 

“Yeah Yeah.” Mav wrapped an arm around Penny’s waist giving her a kiss on the temple. 

Declan felt slightly awkward watching this interaction, he wasn’t exactly used to PDA from adult couples, mostly due to his own family history of divorce. But most of it stemmed from the embarassment of wrongly assuming his girfriend’s parentage. 

“You can relax son, we definitely helped her parents with babysitting and carpool, but we can’t take credit for the woman she’s become.” Mav explained. 

“And don’t worry about us, if Atty likes you, then we like you.” 

“And that goes for all those other meatheads out in the backyard.” Penny reassured him. 

Declan nodded as the couple led him to the outside. 

“Look whos here!” Mav announced to the other attendants of the barbeque. 

The group waved and roared with excitement, greeting Declan from his vantage point on the deck. 

“Hey Dec!” His girlfriend greeted him. 

Declan momentarily forgot his troubles as he took in his girlfriend’s appearance. She looked like sunshine in her frilly yellow sundress, her head adorned with a puffy white headband, her smile beaming as she walked towards Declan’s position on the deck. 

“You’ll be okay son, we all got your back. The only person here you need to impress is that guy.” Mav pointed at a younger man, taller and somehow more menacing looking, manning the grill. 

Declan took a hard gulp as Astrid finally approached him, grabbing his hand and dragging him down the stairs of the deck towards a gathering of 3. 

“Dec, This is my Auntie Nat, Uncle Bob, and Uncle Mickey.” 

“Guys, this is Declan Belmont, my boyfriend.” 

“Nice to meet you Declan.” The woman greeted him. 

The shorter man with wire framed glasses simply smiled and nodded at Declan in greeting. 

The final man, seemed to be of hispanic descent with short buzzed hair. 

He surprised Declan by pulling him into a hug. 

“Its nice to finally put a face to a name!” Uncle Mickey beamed at Declan. 

“We all know how picky our Atty can get, so you must be something special.” 

Uncle Mickey pulled back on hug before throwing an arm around Declan’s shoulders and pulled him aside from the group and whispering. 

“ I want to know everything, do you know what you want to do after graduation? Anything you’re thinking of studying? How did you and Astrid meet? Do you love her?”

“Uncle Mickey!”

“Fanboy!” 

The other members of the group obviously heard everything from the forced huddle despite Mickey’s attempt at whispering. 

“We’ll reconvene later.” He gave a final whisper before turning back around to the rest of the group. 

Declan found purchase by Astrid’s side one again wrapping an arm around her wasit. 

“Oh no you won’t Uncle Mickey.” Astrid glared at Fanboy. 

“Yeah leave the damn boy alone.” Phoenix added. 

Bob stood silently in the middle amusement clear on his face, holding in his laughter. 

“But mija, How am I supposed to find out?”

“Fanboy, the boy has been here less than 5 minutes and you’re already giving him the third degree.” Phoenix rolled her eyes at her frend. 

“I just wanna get to know him better, see why Atty likes him so much.” 

“And don’t act like I’m the only one who’s curious” Fanboy pointed at his friends. 

“You know what, you’re right!” Bob finally spoke out. 

“I do wanna know.” 

Natasha stared at her friends in disbelief, before her face released its scowl in a look of agreement with the two men. Crossing the middle and standing by the two male daggers. 

“Traitor!” Astrid frowned at her aunt. 

“Sorry kiddo, Fanboy’s got a point”

Astrid’s face turned red in embarrassment. 

“Y’all promised to be cool.” Astrid pouted. 

The three aviators shot her an apologetic look with a shrug. 

Declan felt so much warmth and joy from watching his girlfriend interact with her family, despite their antics they all clearly deeply for one another. Almost made him forget about the menacing man across the yard watching his every move. Especially at his hand placement.

He quickly took his hand off of Astrid’s waist. Which took her by surprise, and made her think that he was horrified at her crazy family. 

“I am so sorry about them Dec. I asked them to be normal ” Astrid turned to him with pleading eyes.

Declan was confused at her uneasiness

“Don’t be! I think they’re sweet.” He replied joyfully. 

“And I will be happy to answer any and all questions you all ask me.” Declan announced to the three before distractedly looking off to the distance back to the man by the grill. 

“Then why did you..?” Astrid began to ask but trailed off as she followed her boyfriend’s line of sight, her aunt and uncles doing the same. 

“Ahh, the big man.” Mickey deduced. 

“Him? A Big Man?” 

“Are we looking at the same person right now?” Phoenix raised an eyebrow at her friend.

“I mean yeah he’s not a big man to us, but imagine how Declan feels right now.”

“Guys, you’re not making it any better.” Astrid sighed. 

“Don’t worry about him, he only looks like a grizzly bear, in actuality he is a big soft teddy bear.” Phoenix reassured the boy. 

Declan was still frozen in his place, feeling smaller he’s ever felt in his life. 

“He’s gotta meet him at some point kid, go rip the bandaid off.” Phoenix reminded her niece. 

“You’re probably right Aunt Nat.” Astrid sighed. 

“Come on Dec, lets go.” Astrid grabbed Declan’s hand and dragged him towards the grill. 

“Dad!” Astrid exclaimed as walked towards the aviator, with Declan in tow. 

“This is my boyfriend Declan.”

Declan felt frozen in place, never feeling quite as intimidated as he had in this exact moment. He outstretched a hand, a gulp trapped in his throat. The older man gave his hand a firm shake, his grip tightening and holding Declan’s in a steel grip, staring him down. 

“Dad, stop it.” Astrid chastised the man after several agonizing seconds that felt like hours to Declan.  

“But its so funny.” 

The man released his grip and his entire demeanor changed in that exact moment, like a light switch being flipped. The stoic look on his face changed to a dopey grin. 

“You should’ve seen your face! You look like you’re gonna pee your pants!” The older man chuckled. 

Declan laughed awkwardly alongside the aviator. 

“I’m sorry Dec, my dad thinks he’s funny.” 

“You used to think I was funny.” Astrid’s dad pouted.

“Yeah when I was 4”

“When I also used to think mac and cheese and mashed potatoes mixed together was the greatest food to exist.” 

“But Atty…you still think that.” Declan muttered. 

The two men maintained eye contact with one another, their grins slowly getting larger before bursting into laughter. 

Astrid stood still in her spot, a frown planted on her face. 

“Come on babe, just joking around with your dad.” 

“I think I liked you better when you were afraid of everyone.” She glared at her boyfriend. 

“Sir, has she always been this intense?” 

“Yup, even when she was a little girl, terrifying minimum wage teenage face painters who merely suggested to paint her as a butterfly, insisting yoshi was cooler.” 

“Please tell me you have a picture sir.” 

“Come on.. You know I do.” Both men laughing with one another once again. 

“I can’t believe you two are ganging up on me!” Astrid exclaimed.

“And I still stand with that previous claim, Yoshi is cooler than a butterfly.”

“You’re just further proving our point babe.” Declan smiled, reaching for Astrid’s hand once again, now feeling more comfortable. 

She dropped his hand in a huff, folding her arms across her chest. 

“I’m not a big fan of whatever.” 

“This.” waving a finger between the two men 

 “Is”

“Come on Little Chick! I thought you wanted me to get along with your boyfriend.” The mustached man pointed out. 

“Well the two of you can get along all you want in this corner, I’m going to talk to Uncle Javy and Uncle Reuben. At least they’re nice to me.” Astrid pouted as she walked away from Rooster and Declan.

Declan had the biggest smile plastered on his face watching his girlfriend walk away. 

“She’s something isn’t she?” Rooster referred to Astrid’s retreating figure. 

“That she is.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Declan was honestly having a really nice time. He couldn’t remember the last time that he was at an event with extended family. It was just him, his mom, and his brother (sometimes his aunt and cousin) for as long as he could remember. Large in part due to the divorce and his dad constantly traveling for work. So it meant a lot to him that Astrid’s family welcomed him with open arms.

He had spent the better part of the hour asking Astrid’s family members funny embarrassing stories from her childhood, and he also got to meet Astrid’ Uncle Javy and Uncle Reuben, with a few more attendees joining. 

Declan was currently helping Astrid’s dad with the grill, with Mav often coming around to nitpick  the younger men’s work. And Rooster telling him to “fuck off, old man”, with Astrid and Penny laughing at their antics. 

What confused Declan was the lack of appearance from Astrid’s mom. Astrid had never mentioned having a single father so Declan knew that she probably had a mom. 

He was about to open his mouth to ask when he was interrupted by the sound of the backyard fence opening and his girlfriend’s booming voice. 

“Daddy!” 

Daddy? Wasn’t Declan already standing next to her dad?

An older blonde man dressed in service khakis had arms wide open for Astrid as she ran towards him nearly knocking him over. 

“Bagman!” Astrid’s (other?) dad exclaimed. 

The other attendees of the party approached the man. 

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Phoenix smirked

“We thought you’d be out in the Pacific for a few more weeks.” Payback commented. 

“Well y’all know me, I get shit done.”

“Plus, I missed little Pixie over here.” He answered hugging his daughter once more. 

How did Declan not know that his girlfriend had two dads? How heteronormative for him to assume that his girlfriend had a typical nuclear family? Then again she’s never mentioned too much of her family. 

The aviators threw greetings and questions at Hangman, with the man in question trying his best to answer them all. 

Declan stood at the edge of the crowd, bewildered at the new addition. Jake noticed the unfamiliar boy amongst the group.

He parted the group stopping all conversation and made eye contact with Declan. 

“Now, whos this?” Jake asked walking towards the boy. 

“Oh, daddy this is Declan. My boyfriend.” Astrid smiled introducing him. 

“Boyfriend already?” Jake turned to Bradley. 

“I thought we had more time.”

“Thats exactly what I was thinking, I was not ready.” Bradley clapped jake on the shoulder. 

“I am 16. I am more than ready. You should be too” Astrid rolled her eyes at the two men. 

“As long as you’re not ready for other things.” Bradley raised an eyebrow at the girl while Jake gave Declan a death glare. 

Astrid’s cheeks turned bright red. 

“Dad, Daddy, you’re embarassing me!” She was mortified at their behavior. 

“We just wanna make sure this boy is not gonna pressure you into something you’re not comfortable with.” Jake explained. 

“I would never sirs!” Declan interjected. 

“I can vouch for him Hangman, hes a good kid.” Bradley responded. 

“I’m going inside, this is mortifying.” Astrid ran into the house. 

“Do you need me to-?” Decaln started to follow behind her before being stopped by Jake. 

“She’ll be fine son, you stay right here.”

“ Rooster might’ve vouched for you but I’m still gonna take a peek under your hood. Make my own conclusion.” Jake led Declan to the outdoor seating beside the deck stairs. 

“So Declan right? You got a last name?” Jake asked as they both sat down.

“Belmont sir.” 

“Belmont? As in Vice Admiral Richard Belmont?” He inquired. 

“Yes sir, he’s my father.” 

“I know your dad, he works right under me, good man, dedicated to the work, dedicated to his country.”

“He works under you?” 

The pieces finally connected in Declan’s brain. Astrid Seresin. Seresin. Commander of the Pacific Fleet, Admiral Jacob Seresin. 

How did not put that together before? 

Declan stood up abruptly, assuming a salute stance. 

“I’m sorry to be disrespectful sir, I did not know you were THE Admiral Seresin.” 

“My father taught me better than that.”

“At ease son, no need for all of that.” Admiral Seresin chuckled

Declan dropped the salute but still remained standing in stance. 

“Did Astrid not tell you?”

“No sir, we did not speak too much about our families.” 

“Well if you’re really afraid of being disrespectful, kid, you gotta know that all of these people are decorated officers.” 

“Them right there are Captains Avalone, Lennox, Lee, and Bassett.” He said pointing to the men and woman that Astrid introduced as Uncles Billy, Brig, Logan, and Auntie Callie.

“Maverick was also captain before he retired.”

“Over there are Rear Admirals Floyd, Garcia, Finch, and Machado.” 

Uncle Bob, Uncle Mickey, Uncle Reuben and Uncle Javy. 

“Finally, Old Rooster and Phoenix over there. Vice Admiral Trace, and Admiral Bradshaw.”

“Holy Shit.” Declan gulped. 

“So you better treat our Astrid right, if you’re smart you can forsee how people with our experience can ruin your life, in more ways than one.” Admiral Seresin warned. 

“Understood sir.”

Declan shifted in his spot, desperate to change the subject from the possible harm that would befall him if he ever made the mistake of hurting his girlfriend. 

“So my father works under you, sir? Last I spoke to him he was stationed to the Pacific.”

“Yes, that’s where I just returned from. Your dad is still out there though.” 

“Yeah I figured, I reckon he would’ve called by now.” Declan tried to hide his disappointment. 

Jake read him easily however. He quickly remembered his absence from his daughter’s life earlier in her childhood. Immediately feeling sorry for the boy, he motioned for him to sit once again

“I get it, it's hard, I wasn’t around much for Astrid’s childhood, I was too focused on getting to.. Well here.” 

“Was it worth it sir?” 

“Not sure I can answer that, I missed a lot, but I was lucky enough to have someone who understood my ambitions.” 

“I don’t know how y’all did it sir, especially since you being the Commander of the Pacific fleet and Atty’s other dad also being an Admiral.” 

“And especially with the stigma you two had to face with the Navy.” 

“It was a little weird and difficult at first. But Astrid made it worth it. And Bradshaw has been a big help.”

“Well you two raised an amazing daughter. How long have you been together?” Declan inquired, knowing about the rampant homophobia that still unfortunately plagued the military branch. 

But seeing how well respected and high in rank the two men were he knew that couldn’t have been easy, but now they’re both in positions where no one would dare to criticize them.

“How long have we..? Wait. Do you think me and Bradshaw are..” Admiral Seresin broke out into boisterous laughter.

“Hey Rooster! Get over here!” Declan looked at the older man in confusion as the second Admiral made his way to the duo. 

“What’s up Bagman?” Rooster responded as he halted his jog. 

“Come and give me some sugar.” Jake chuckled as he brought Bradley into a tight embrace planting a wet kiss on his cheek.

Declan felt his face heat up at the PDA presented in front of him by his girlfriend’s fathers.

Bradley stumbled back after Jake released his hold, a look of amusement on his face. 

Hangman threw an arm around the other aviator. 

“Not that I’m complaining, but not sure how my wife is gonna feel about you planting one on me Bagman,” 

Rooster laughed.

Wife? Now Declan was even more confused than before. Astrid’s dad has a wife and is also with her other dad? Is the wife okay with this? Is the wife also with Commander Seresin?

Declan felt a migraine coming on from the heavy wheels spinning in his mind trying to piece together his girlfriend’s interesting family dynamic. 

“Nicholas Bradshaw! If you don’t stop running right now, you’re not getting any Ice cream!” 

Declan’s thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a woman that looked like a more mature, not necessarily older version of his girlfriend making her way down the deck, running after a little boy that looked like a miniature version of Admiral Bradshaw.

Is this the wife? She was very beautiful.  Admiral Bradshaw is a lucky man. 

Declan had so many questions. The boy he gathered was Astrid’s little brother. And then the woman , possibly her mom??? Declan just became more confused with every passing minute.

Both Admirals stared at the woman in adoration as she chased after the boy.

“But Momma, Uncle Jakey is here!” The boy ran into Admiral Seresin’s arms who picked him up with a chuckle. 

“No love for your dad buddy?” Rooster feigned hurt. 

“Uncle Jakey. Toy please.” 

“Ouch! Little man, and here I thought you were just happy to see me.” Jake answered also feigning hurt.

“Sweets! Come and meet Pixie’s boyfriend.”

“Sorry for messing with you Dec, you just made it too easy.” 

“Now who’s this?” The woman approached their chattering.

She had kind eyes and a beautiful smile. She was dressed in a sundress that almost mimicked the one his girlfriend was wearing except in an emerald color. 

“Declan, Ma’am nice to meet you.” Declan nervously held out hand to the woman who shook it gently.

“I’m Astrid’s mom, y/n. And you must be the boyfriend we’ve hardly heard anything about.”

That one annoying song that his sister used to sing non-stop, Stacy’s Mom he thinks it’s called, never made more sense to him than at that moment.

Don’t get him wrong, Declan loved Astrid, more than anything. But in some kind of alternate universe where they weren’t together and he didn’t know her and her entire family. He would proudly declare her a MILF, but at risk of pissing off his girlfriend, her grandpa, godmother, her large array of uncles and aunts, and her dads who also happened to be top ranking navy officers, he would never admit it to another soul.

“So where have you been hiding?” Astrid’s mom asked jokingly.

“Mom! Dad! Daddy!” Astrid shouted as she exited the house and jogged down to the outdoor furniture.

Astrid slid into the gap between Declan’s arm and torso, laying a hand on his chest.

“Stop giving him the third degree.” She glared at her parents. 

“Hey! I was just introducing myself to Declan here since you refused to give your poor mother anything.” Her mom pouted while poking Astrid on the tip of her nose. 

Astrid stuck a tongue out at the older woman.

“Yeah okay mom, stop acting like you didn’t grill me about Dec last night.” Pointing a finger at y/n.

“It’s not cute, mother.” 

“Your mother happens to be very cute.” Bradley wrapped an arm around the older woman planting a kiss on her forehead. 

Jake nodded in quiet agreement, but Declan noticed a glimpse of sadness behind his eyes. He wonders what’s that about.

“Ewww Mom and Dad, can you please not do that in front me and Dec.” Astrid exclaimed, further burying her face into the crook of Declan’s neck. 

“How come you two can have PDA and me and your dad can’t?” Her mom responded. 

“Because you’re old.” 

“Don’t listen to her Sweets, you’re as beautiful as the day I met you.” Jake chuckled. 

“Atty!” A small voice originating from lower ground whined. 

“Oh her buddy!” Astrid kneeled down to her little brother’s height. 

“Did you have a good practice?” She asked grabbing Nick’s little body into her lap tickling his neck and making him laugh hysterically. 

“I want kiss!.” He shouted through his giggles.

“Anything for you Goosey!” Astrid covered her little brother’s face in kisses. 

“Momma too!” 

“Oh of course my little goose.” Y/n laughed as she kneeled down to the same level as her children. 

“What a lucky little dude.” Bradley smiled. 

The two other men chuckled watching the love fest before them. 

“Not to interrupt your little family time but since you were distracted Bradley, I took it upon myself to cook the steaks PROPERLY.” Maverick shouted across the backyard. 

“Come and get your steaks!” 

“Oh sweet, steak grandpa mav style is my favorite.” Astrid exclaimed picking up her little brother and making her way to the grill, Declan close in tow. 

“Yay steak!” Nick cheered

“Is it ‘Hurt Dad’s feelings day’, Little Chick?” Bradley groaned as he followed the rest of the group to the food. 

Jake hung back watching the sight before him. His daughter, so grown up, so beautiful, smart, and headstrong. Just like her mother. 

Jake thought back to Declan’s earlier question. Was it all worth it? Those 4 years where y/n and Astrid away was some of the loneliest of his life. He honestly took that time to take every deployment, work every detachment, and because Y/n needed time to think, he for that time being never felt guilty for his ambition.

.Y/n could never be malicious enough to keep him away from his daughter. She gave him every opportunity to be involved.  Of course, he visited his daughter as often as he could. But it definitely was not often enough. His work was all he had, he thought, so he threw himself into it completely. Up to the point where he finally surpassed Rooster. 

When those four years were up it was clear where his priorities lied, and in a way he understood what Y/N said before. He was selfish for making her take a back seat to it for so long, when she and their daughter deserved so much more than that. 

It honestly didn’t surprise him when Y/N chose Bradshaw in the end, he was there for Y/N and for Astrid when he couldn’t. It didn’t make it hurt any less though. He definitely had some dark years after that. Years where he would go months into his work, not bothering to keep in touch with his ex-wife and daughter. 

No one heard from his for an entire year after he caught wind of their wedding and Bradshaw legally adopting his daughter. 

All he had was his career, his ambitions, it was the only thing keeping him going. He thought that’s all he needed. It should have been enough. His lifelong longing should it been quenched when he was promoted to Admiral, a full 4 years before Bradshaw. He finally won. 

But did he really? 

He threw himself into a drunken stupor at the Hard Deck, ‘happily’ celebrating his promotion. Alone. Completely Alone. 

But Y/N, sweet and strong Y/N, walked into the bar. And dragged him to his feet pulling him to his senses. 

“I gave you space all these years Jake because I thought it was what you needed. I know the news about me and Bradley was not going to bve easy for you so I stayed away, I didn’t want you to think we were rubbing it in your face. I didn’t say anything when you went years making Astrid feel like she didn’t have a father, Bradley stepped in because that is the type of man he is and he loves her. But that deosn’t change the fact that you’re her father, she still looks for you every birthday, checks the news to make sure nothing bad has happened to you, still tears up whenever she sees or hears Pixie Sticks. We may have not worked out Jake, but that doesn’t mean you abandon her.” Jake hadn’t seen so much pain in your eyes since that final night before you left. 

“She doesn’t want to see me. You left me.”

“Exactly. I left you Jake. Your daughter didn’t.” 

“ And all she wants now is you to show up and apologize for the years you missed and eat the cake she baked for you for your promotion, instead of sitting here wasting away alone”

“She baked me a cake?” Jake asked his eyes filled with tears and hope for the first time in over 7 years. 

“Yeah she did. Even wrote “Congrats Daddy” on it with light green frosting to match your eyes.”

You nodded. 

“Okay, take me to see Pixie.” He smiled. 

That was 5 odd or so years ago. It took a lot of work but through endless groveling, apologies, and carefully curated gifts. Rooster finally forgave him. 

Just kidding, Astrid forgave him. Of course she says that there was no forgiving needed to be done in the first place, the young girl knew that her dad had things to work out on his own before he was ready to come home to her. But Hangman knew better and he made sure to make up for the 7 years of missed birthdays, holidays, and just regular Daddy-Daughter time, and as an admiral he had more leeway to pick his schedule and deployments. 

Things with Rooster also got better, despite his years of resentment towards the man, he definitely appreciated the care that he gave you and your daughter in his absence (even if he didn’t appreciate the way it begun). After a couple years of awkwardness where the two men couldn’t be left alone in a room together, they found a mutual respect and admiration for both of their work and dedication to the Navy. 

The two were definitely more alike than they realized, it just took an intense rivalry, a couple of punches thrown, a few black eyes, a pair of bruised jaws, a divorce, a wedding and adoption, and a couple of years of close proximity to unlock.

From there bloomed a friendship that can’t be described by anything other than a total “bromance”.

As he stood in the yard contemplating his journey to that moment, he was pulled out of his thoughts by your hand caressing his cheek. 

“How you doing Zuko?” You smiled at him with bright eyes. 

“I’m doing good Sweets.” 

“Just thinking about how fast time has passed.” He explained.

“It has been a wild ride hasn’t it?” You responded, dropping your hand, placing it back to your side. 

Jake felt cold from the removal of your hand, his body still searching for your warth even after all these years. He tried to hide his disappointment from his face but you knew him better than that. 

“You know I will always love you, right Jake?” You smiled at him sympathetically. 

“We’ve been through so much together, and even though it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine, I will be eternally grateful to you.” 

“You gave me her.” Your eyes twinkled looking at Astrid. 

“And you know I will never get over you right?” Jake responded, his voice thick with melancholy. 

“Maybe…” You began.

“But I hope someday you will. Our love, our connection was so filled with fight and fire, and I loved it… I loved you. But after all of that, we were just left with ashes.” You looked at him, your smile bittersweet. 

“You taught me how to love Jake, and loving you, prepared me to love him.” You gestured to Bradshaw. 

“To love them.” 

You looked lovingly at your family, your friends, your husband, your children. 

“Promise me Jake, that when the time comes. You will take that love, the love you had for me, the love we shared, and you will use it to love someone who deserves it.”

“Because you deserve someone amazing, someone who will love better than I ever did.” 

You walked backwards towards the others, flashing him that same smile that started all of this, before turning around and walking away. 

“Okay.” He smiled to himself, joining the rest of the party. 

Tag List below!

@dhekebekenen

@alldaysdreamers

@frenchtoastix

@gummybear1178

@blackkcami

@fuzzy-panda

@callsignvenus

@puriini

@roosterschanelslut

@babes4barnes

@rintheemolion

@sapnapsbandana

@mamimia300

@tracysnook

@alexwinchester23

@samthespousehaver

@babyice1274

@mylittledaydreamlog

@sunshine-hufflepuff31

@saramaple

@therealautobotgirl

@nonononomiles

@townmoondaltwistle

@seresinhangmanjake

@zzsloth

@thegladeslut

@playingfordean

@jostyriggslover96

@starshipfantasy

@offftotheraces

@daisyhollyxox

@callsignhoney

@spidey-d00d

@multifandomfangirll

@rintheemolion

@bluecrush611

@abentz

@babes4barnes

@icemansgirl1999

@users09

@alexizodd

@mrsjobarnes

@starwars-fan26

#hangman x y/n #hangman x reader #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #top gun #hangman #jake hangman seresin #rooster #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #hangman angst #rooster angst #hangman x reader x rooster #rooster x reader x hangman #top gun maverick #rooster imagine #hangman imagine

[thechasmsurveys]

3.

Do you sleep with just a sheet in summer when it's hot? No, I have to have my weighted blanket or else I can’t sleep.

Are you one of those people who needs to have at least some blanket on you when you sleep so the monsters don't get you? Hahaha, yes, actually.

Will anyone be visiting your house any time soon? Not that I’m aware of. We need to clean the house before we both have to go back to work and we don’t feel like it lol.

What was the last museum you went to? The Van Gogh one. It was amazing.

Scroll through your camera roll quickly without looking, then stop it with your finger. What's the first picture your eye lands on? My phone is all the way across the room and I’m feeling lazy. I’m sure it would just be a picture of Dusty, though.

Do you get bursts of creative energy or is it more consistent? Honestly I never really feel creative, ever,

Have you ever been chased by a dog? Yeah, I had to go to animal court over it and everything lol.

What's your favourite kind of soda? I’m not a soda person at all. I like sweet tea and water.

Are you a visual learner? Very much so.

Do you have a drink with you right now? What is it? Just some water in my Stanley.

What was the last science fiction movie you watched? Annihilation. I didn't love the movie per se, but the cinematography and the CGI was gorgeous. I've never seen anything like it. <--This movie lives rent free in my head lol. The bear scene makes me die a little every time I imagine it. But uhmmmmm, no idea. I’m not a movie person.

How far away from your home is the nearest train station? Probably 30-45 minutes.

Do you listen to music every day? Yeah, either on the way to work or on the way home and then just whenever on weekends.

If you have a passport, when does it expire? Oh, I’m sure it’s been expired for like 10 years.

Have you ever smoked a cigar? No.

What was the last app you opened on your phone? Messenger. Someone was messaging me about monopoly go cards lollllllll.

Is your voice high, low, or somewhere in the middle? I think it’s middle to low.

Are you wearing any rings right now? Yes just my two silicone ones for my wedding bands.

Have you ever been to a baby shower? Plenty.

Do you have any cash stashed away anywhere? I have some in my wallet because I just don’t put it in the bank lol.

What are your neighbours like? I live in townhouses so I have tons of them lol. My immediate one on the left is super nice. I love her. She’s super sweet. The neighbor on the right is not my favorite at ALL. And my dog hates her so that means something lol.

What month is your birthday? How far away is that from now? June. 6 months.

What's the next friend or family birthday coming up? Will you buy them a present Lauren’s in February. I will, but I’m not sure what present.

What was the last book you read? I got an advanced reader copy of The Fury by Alex Michaelides and it’s so freaking good.

Have you ever spend a long period of time in a country you weren't born in? Not really. I went to Europe and stayed in Italy for like 5 days and France for about the same but that’s it.

Do you make your own surveys on Bzoink? Hahaha I used to.

What colour are the bottoms you're wearing today? I’m currently wearing Colton’s boxers and they’re plaid lol.

How many beds are in your home? Two.

Do you wear face masks in public? No.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Oooooh, so we’re going with my sister and her family and my mom and us and our dog Dusty, to a park like an hour away and we’re going to walk around. It’s a huuuuuuuuuuuge park and it has like a café and a coffee shop and a tram and everything. It sounds insane. Then dinner with my boss and her husband at her house.

#survey #random survey #personal survey #surveys

[golbrocklovely]

since i have nothing else to post right now…

here’s the last of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~

Oct. 1 - love doing things for myself

Oct. 4 - i’m in so much pain. sos

fan: u ok?

poison oak. everywhere …. everywhere.

Oct. 5 - i like the simple things

Oct. 7 - less is more

Oct. 10 - i wanna make you happy

how am i so busy during the day but still manage to find 2 hours to mindlessly scroll through tik tok? i can’t be the only one

Oct. 14 - i care too much

Oct. 15 - somehow it wasn’t enough

Oct. 18 - fan: I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT COLBY SMELLED LIKE..I WANA KNOW WHAT COLOGNE HE WEARS

mayonnaise

(i hate this man so much lmao)

Oct. 19 - Justin Bieber’s new song made me tear up, that dudes been through so much. no one could even imagine what that’s like.. achieving everything and being in the biggest spotlight at such a young age.

Oct. 20 - @/samgolbach: less than 6 months ago i broke my back. and i decided to take that as a challenge to get healthy again. and today i ran the fastest mile i’ve ever run. so yes, i might be an idiot but i’m a determined idiot 🤘🏼🏃🏼

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 that’s an insane accomplishment ! i remember when it was a struggle to stand up out of bed

new day, same cycle

Oct. 21 - my mom is texting me all the young pictures of me and it’s bringing me memories i didn’t know i had

Oct. 25 - panic attacks late at night are the worst

Nov. 1 - @/colbybrockscar: reminder that it’s no nut November!!! @/ColbyBrock doesn’t even have to try. He’s got this shit in the bag. It probs comes out like baby powder if he tries

did my car just roast me ?

Nov. 4 - this is scary

cuties! all 3 of you! (reply to fan in merch with friend and cat)

Nov. 6 - @/GracynCarr: I can’t believe the audacity of a high school tweet to pop up on my timeline lmao.. miss u tho @/ColbyBrock :)

hope you're well xx

Nov. 8 - so much talent thank youu love (reply to fan's art)

fan: Um. So I tweeted this to you before but alot has also changed since then sooo wanted to say thank you 🖤 🖤 @/ColbyBrock

proud of you, and good luck with your dreams darlin 🖤 you can accomplish anything with the right mindset and hard work. i believe in ya

time flies, and i’m so scared of losing my youth. it’s inevitable i know, but damn makes you wanna cherish every moment you got

Nov. 11 - i hate when nothing is wrong but nothing feels right

Nov. 12 - the person who makes you forget about the rest of the world

Nov. 13 - today marks 6 years since we posted our first YT video on the MAIN S&C account .. 🖤 what a wild ride

Nov. 14 - promise you i’m a good waste of time

Nov. 15 - @/katstuartmusic: “sunday is my funday” - colby brock 2020

🥂💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️

fan: Colby u get drunk off of one white claw

fight me

other fan: my money is on mags

round house kicks to the face don’t feel too good

(is it bad that i like when colby gets weirdly violent with us sksksks)

Nov. 16 - the Why Dont We dudes are some of the nicest people in LA

*Nov. 17 - @/gabytriana: It’s out! Sam and Colby were so much fun to work with, and despite what Colby said, I did not hate him when we first met! 😆 Both he and Sam are super kind, smart, generous entertainers who know how to tell a good story! I love them both!! Happy Book Birthday, @/samandcolby

hahaha thank youu so much for all the hard work ! so excited it’s finally here

(interestingly enough, colby didn't delete his tweet… gaby did)

Nov. 19 - went to a Pyschic Reader tonight. my mind is blown. im not a skeptic anymore, video coming tomorrow

fan: Get ready for religious people to freak out

the psychic i talked to was religious, i’m not sure how but i think the two concepts can exist at the same time

Nov. 21 - hard to trust

fan: @/ColbyBrock hey, i love u lots

love you 🖤

Nov. 23 - fan: imagine if @/ColbyBrock responded to this

could you imagine

Nov. 24 - fan: lmao okay so my friend put this together when I FINALLY received Colby's reaper merch yesterday and I had to laugh, I am actually stupid. But I thought it was a lil funny so y'all can see it too then xx

hahahha love it. thank you. you’re not a sack of potatoes in my eyes

Nov. 27 - happy b day @/SamGolbach you know this and imma save the sappy shit for your big 25th bday but i wouldn’t be here without you. you’re the most intelligent, deep thinking dude i’ve ever met and i feel pretty damn lucky to be able to call you a business partner AND best friend

Nov. 28 - take it easy

Nov. 30 - should i hop back on tik tok?

Dec. 2 - @/aaron_doh: At least I got a photo shoot out of it 😄

whaaat. dude i wish you a speedy recovery

Dec. 3 - it’s hard to move on

Dec. 5 - a nice escape is all i need

welp. i guess i’m a lightweight

Dec. 9 - miss you

Dec. 14 - all the baggage that comes with me

Dec. 15 - been workin hard for you , announcement tomorrow

fan: omg are you pregaganant

how'd you know

@/samandcolby: announcement tomorrow… 2021 will be the best year of our lives (and probably most difficult)

fan: are we getting married?? is that why?

yes

i hate how having anxiety makes me nauseous. it’s the worst feeling

Dec. 16 - it’s all about living in the moment and making every. second. count.

fan: yeah @/ColbyBrock how much are you charging for tattoos…

free for you

Dec. 18 - big tool pic but i’ve been workin hard

@/mannymua733: we absolutely do not mind

hahahaha

(god damn… this pic is still so good lol)

also cold weather always makes me want a special someone to spend time with. cuddle buddy is neeeeeded

fan: okay but can we just take a second to appreciate how hard colby’s been working in the gym because dayum

thank you sweeeetheart

fan: HELP COLBY IS TRENDING

yoo i love you guys 🥺

Dec. 20 - got tatted last night and i barely remember

how i feel this morning (pic of him floating)

fan: you’ve seen elf on the shelf… but have you seen cole in a hole? (@/ColbyBrock)

i’m mad i laughed at this

Dec. 23 - why’d ya have to change on me

so bittersweet saying goodbye to my childhood home of 18 years… i’ll only be back to kansas to visit and sleep in hotels from now on. strange feeling, but so happy for my mom and dad for taking a chance and moving

it’s like i don’t have a real “home” anymore. since i move so much anyways it’s hard to find a spot to actually call home

fan: i just want to say that colby has helped me through so much this year. i had a tough year as many others did but you’ve seriously have helped me through so much. i love you so so much @/ColbyBrock

awh that’s why i make videos in the first place. for people like you

Dec. 24 - addicted to you

my mom and i are the weirdest duo on the planet when we’re together i swear

fan: Make a video with her for Christmas

my whole family despises being on camera 💔

Dec. 25 - fan: momma brock is the sweetest ever

she’s my favorite woman in the world

Merry Christmas friends ! 🖤

i wish i could have face tats for like one week but it doesn’t really work like that huh

Dec. 26 - everyone’s battling their own demons

Dec. 28 - fan: Colby drinking wine but he's such a lightweight that he's probably drunk, lmao @/ColbyBrock

🤫🤫🤫

fan: the vibes are fucking ethereal i’m guessing @/ColbyBrock

you got it

#colby brock #cb tweets #personal #text

[thebossestunicycle]

not even 2018 me would believe my situation right now.

i have this friend that i’ve known since 3rd grade. he’s actually why i got into music in the first place since he invited me to see a concert with him. it was my first and it changed everything about music for me, even though i only went because I liked him. this was in 7th grade.

flash forward to 9th grade, when we ended up at the same high school. i still had feelings for him but we had kinda drifted apart due to some stereotypical middle school drama in our friend group back in 8th grade. For some reason, I get another one of my friends to try to set me up with him. He rejected me. Between the embarrassment I felt and the pandemic that shortly followed, we drifted entirely.

but in full honesty, despite how hard i tried to scoff the idea of him off, i missed him. our moms are friends so i heard about him all the time. i wanted to talk to him again, but i thought he would want nothing to do with me if he found out i was trans (i was closeted outside of my very small circle). i would see him in the halls all the time and the most we would say to each other was hi.

it made me sad, but eventually i stopped thinking about him. music became my life over covid and i decided that it was something i wanted to pursue in some way for the rest of my life. that’s what made me land on audio engineering.

so i got into my first choice school for the program i wanted. I had learned how to play bass just to get in since I wanted a change from percussion. Decision day comes and everyone at our high school has on a sweatshirt from their college.

i look through the crowd only to see that he had on the exact same sweatshirt as me. later, his mom told my mom he was going to school for this weird major called audio engineering, and since it was a music school, he auditioned on bass.

insane odds right?! when i found that out, i really didn’t know how to feel. i thought i was never going to see him again after high school. i planned to go by a new name that wasn’t even close to my old one. i felt like i needed to reconnect with him but i was afraid he wouldn’t accept me. so at first, i planned to act like i barely knew him.

flash forward 6 months. he is genuinely my best friend at this college. sometimes our bass professor is an ass and we laugh our way through it. i have every class with him besides for my math and writing classes. we get dinner together on monday nights and breakfast every morning (fuck those 8AMs, man). more importantly, it’s like we picked off right where we left off years ago. the only difference is that he calls me a different name.

our time together had sent me digging through all those old thoughts again, and over the past month, i’ve started to realize that maybe some of those feelings never died. he’ll do the smallest thing for me and i can feel myself almost turning red. i feel like I’m floating after we hang out.

i’ve never had feelings leave me as dumbfounded as i am now.

when i get back home, all these what ifs flood my head. part of me really believes we could have been something if I wasn’t trans. today we looked at each other in a way that I kinda can’t describe and now I’m scared that he still sees me as a woman. what would he do if he ever found out i was into him again? what would the next 4 years of school look like, where I’m in a class with just him and the 3 other bassists in our grade?

on nights like these, i sit around and listen On The Floor by Perfume Genius until my brain can’t take it anymore, when i’m sure I knocked all of those feelings out of my system, because I know for a fact that we will never happen. but then i wake up and walk down to our class and by the end of the day, i feel everything all over again.

how long is this gonna last?

#collegeposting #sorry i never post anymore im clearly uhhhh occupied with other things #vent #gay #as #fuck

[mvalentine]

I loved your last fic. The fluff 🥺. Ethan paying so much attention? Sir please stop 😫 kidding don't ever stop please.

I love how you describe Lana being so meticulous with what she shares about herself and at the same time wanting to tell Ethan more and more.

Now I'm wonder, do you have a back story for her? I would love to know her more :)

hi hellooo <33 im so so glad you enjoyed it!! and we all know that man is perceptive as ever so of course that translates into his love life.

and yes oh my god i DO have a backstory for her and it is excessive and traumatizing and honestly i feel a little bad for putting my fav girl through so much but dhjjss here it is *gets up on my soapbox*:

TW: mentions of abuse, drug overdose & death

Lana's surname at birth wasn't actually Brooks, it was Hernandez. She was born into an extremely wealthy family, we're talking Swiss Bank Account levels of rich.

Her father Mateo is Spanish while her mom Nicola was English. They met as work colleagues and had a torrid love affair which resulted in them getting married after about 6 months of knowing one another (Red Flag #1 - very love-bombing vibes). While the beginning of the relationship was almost close to perfect, the longer it went on the more Mateo's temper & anger issues started to rear its ugly head. And then, 6 months after their marriage- Lana was born.

Mateo & Nicola were both over the moon. It wasn't exactly a planned pregnancy, but both were extremely happy albeit for different reasons. For Nicola, it was in the hope that a child would mellow Mateo out, while for Mateo it was due to the fact that he would have an 'heir' of sorts to takeover his skyrocketing success in the business world.

But alas, a child cannot save your marriage; it doesn't change a person. Mateo was extremely abusive, both physically and verbally. At first, Nicola didn't leave him because she loved him and kept giving him second chances. But after that, she didn't leave because he was a successful, rich, narcissistic man who taunted and threatened her whenever they had their massive blowouts.

Lana absolutely loathed her father- he was cruel, abusive and extremely demanding. He would swing wildly from one spectrum to another- showering her with love and praise whenever she did well one minute and then berating and hitting her when she deigned to disagree with him the next. He would never actually apologize - saying "I'm sorry I hit you but if you hadn't done xyz it wouldn't have come to this" is not an apology.

When Lana was around 14 years old, her mom started doing drugs- heroin. She became a drug addict, her work and happiness started slipping. Lana would often have to clean her up and get her sobered before Mateo came home otherwise she knew it would lead to another massive fight where he would call her words like "junkie whore". The roles basically were reversed- with a 14 year old having to take care of her own mother instead of the other way around.

And then, when Lana was 16- she found her mom's body on the floor- she had overdosed on drugs and didn't make it (it pretty much played out like that gut-wrenching scene in Euphoria where Gia finds Rue on the floor after she overdosed). As you can imagine, that was pretty fucking traumatising.

Lana had already decided from a young age that she would distance herself from her father as soon as she could, but this just solidified the idea in her mind- she was not going to have any connection with her father as soon as she turned 18.

Lana was already exceptionally smart, but after that she knew what she had to do- she had to work her ass off and get at-least a partial scholarship for med school. Her goal was Harvard, which of course was extremely difficult- but she was determined (I know getting even a partial scholarship to Harvard sounds INSANE but i literally have two friends who got scholarships for Harvard & Yale because they were extremely smart and determined so it's definitely possible).

She started studying even harder, getting top grades and participating in a myriad of extracurriculars to pad her resume. Then, when she turned 18 and had graduated high school- she took a chunk of the money her dad had left for her in her trust fund for when she turned 18 and never looked back. She changed her last name to Brooks.

She got into med school but of course even with the trust fund money financial stability is hard - she has to get two jobs - a bartender and a waitress while also being in med school. It's difficult, it's challenging - but she has to do it. Also her father never bothered contacting or looking for her as well- it was too big of a bruise to his ego.

It's also one of the reasons she never really dated in med school. It was always one night stands or friends with benefits. She just didn't have the time. But also, she just didn't want to let people in which given her backstory makes a lot of sense HSSJSK

Life was difficult in her 20s, but she also met two of her best friends- Dominik & Isabella. Dominik was your quintessential sarcastic fuckboy- very charming, never taking anything seriously. But god his friendship with Lana is my favorite thing- they're polar opposites but work so well together. That man secretly has a heart of gold and honestly him & Lana are platonic soulmates. The only person she trusts wholeheartedly- the only person she opens up to. Apart from Isabella, of course. Isabella reminds me a lot of Sienna, very soft-spoken and kind and gentle. Once again, very opposite to Lana but they worked.

The three of them were inseperable- all polar opposites from one another but somehow... it just worked. But then, Isabella got pregnant at quite a young age- 22. Her and her boyfriend Damien decided to keep the baby- and that's when little baby girl Alana was born. Bella named her daughter after Lana and asked her to be her godmother. Dominik was all pouty about the fact that Bella didn't name her kid after him DHJSJS but she promised that if she ever had a boy, Dominik would be next in line LMAO. Alas, that never happened. Isabella tragically passed away in a horrible car accident when Alana was only 2 years old. Lana & Dominik were absolutely devasted. Dominik was her only family after that (I actually HC that in the Dolores chapter Lana opens up to Ethan about Alana and Bella and gives him advice on how to cope with the grief I need to write it out someday).

There's so much more I can say I can literally sit here and rant all day but this is already INCREDIBLY long I am so sorry. But now I think it's crystal clear why Lana is the way she is HSJSJS

#OOOF i really said trauma baby <3 #this is SO long shjskss but it was good to get it all out and have it in one place #lana brooks #asks

[sesshy380]

1, 3 and 14 for the writer asks?

1- What led you to start writing fan fiction? 

Honestly, I've kinda always been 'writing' fanfiction and stories, just it used to be entirely through art when I was younger. I still have an old Digimon and Matrix OC floating around in a box somewhere (others as well, but I am far too embarrassed to admit what fandom they belong to lol).

As far as actually writing and publishing, I had binged someone's fic and brain had one of those 'If they can do this, so can I' moments. Started writing up the first chapter of a story that had been floating around in my mind for about a decade (and mutated immensely over that time), posted it, received a comment not even a few hours later, excitement high lead to mania that lasted three days, and ended up with another 2 chapters.

The high/mania obviously died down, but I found I enjoyed finally getting the story out there. I've attempted to write something original MANY times over the years, but I always gave up. I have a bad habit of picking up 'hobbies' during mania, then dropping them after the crash. That ONE COMMENT on my longfic made it where that didn't happen. I can let myself down, but I can't bear the idea of letting someone else down. I am now determined to finish longfic for both that commenter, and self-spite to prove that I can finish what I started. All the other fics I've written (and the insanity that comes with them), are just an added bonus lol

3- What experiences/influences have shaped your writings the most?

The entirety of my life for the most part. I would have to say the biggest, though, would be the death of my mom when I was 16. I was already at an age where I was struggling with a lot of prior traumas, not to mention dealing with awkward teenage everything, depression and anxiety, etc. My mom first discovered she had breast cancer when I was 13/14. She'd went through the chemo, radiation, mastectomy, etc, and had been declared cancer free when I was 15. A few months later the cancer returned in her remaining breast, and spread like wildfire into the surrounding tissue. It was such a huge whiplash from being cancer free, to terminal...all while still dealing with everything else. My mom is one of the few people in my life that never made me feel 'weird' or 'different'. I was just ME...and she reminded me all the time that being ME was more important that being what others wanted me to be.

My writing is full of healing and acceptance in its various forms because of the most pivotal moment of my life.

14- What aspects of your creative process do you enjoy most? Which are most challenging?

The part that I enjoy the most is just daydreaming/visualizing the story. The most challenging is turning brain video into those things called 'words'.

Thanks for the ask!

And if your brain does a 'Now I feel bad' because of my answer to number 3...DON'T. It's a scar on my heart and soul that gets ripped open on occasion, but it's made me who I am. I have endured and overcome a lot in my life, and if it was something I wasn't comfortable sharing publicly, I wouldn't.

There's still a few questions that haven't been asked yet if anyone else feels like participating. Questions can be found here. Answered questions: 1, 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 12, 14, 16

#ask game #answered asks #asks still welcome #feel free to ask something not on the list even #i enjoy answering questions lol

[eddiemunsonwoofty]

Fix me - Part Seven

Summary: You reach out to the local "freak"/drug dealer for some kind of escape after your mom dies. Turns out he's the escape you needed.

Caution: light submission. Talks of drug use.

📝: I am loving this series so much. I hope you all are too.

..................................................................................

"Y/n, I am so freaking happy for you!" Robin squealed. "Two nights without nightmares, and a tangle up with Eddie!"

"I know, Robin!" I squeal back. "Its insane how good I feel right now!" "When are you seeing him again?" Robin asked with immense curiosity. "I really don't know?" I reply, with a sort of pout, vaguely remembering that he said he would see me again today. "Should I call him?"

"Hell no, y/n!" Robin said firmly. "You cannot be the first one to call, sends out needy signals." I was needy though. I wanted more of him. He made me feel good. He made me not....sad.

Suddenly, thoughts of my mom rushed in. I started to tear up and said trying to hide that I was crying, "Robin, He makes me forget about mom." "Aw, y/n, thats so sweet and amazing for you, but you have to slow down." Robin stated fighting back her own tears. "Don't turn Eddie into a crutch, just because he makes you forget."

Robin new how I ran through guys in the past. I would meet a guy, flirt shamelessly, date him, fuck him, obsess over him, and as soon as I got bored or he did something I didn't like, I would dump them. I was the definition of a slut 6 months ago. Robin was right I would need to slow down and take my time and get to know Eddie. I wanted this to actually be something. "Yeah, Robin you're right." I let out a big sigh and got off the phone with her.

Steve still hadn't woke up, it was almost noon. His date must have went good too. Dad didn't come home, but there was another message on the machine saying he wouldn't be. "Damn, I guess all of us had a good night." I chuckled to myself.

The day rolled on and I still hadn't heard from Eddie. My thoughts were consumed by him and what happened last night.

Steve finally woke up and made his way across the hall to my room. I had found a book to read and was just laying on the floor staring at the pages. Not really reading. He plopped down next to me. "Have a fun night?" I asked as I raised my eyebrows up and down. Obviously, implying I knew what he did.

"Yeah, Meagan is great. Shes super funny, smart, and well not Nancy." He said, being sarcastic at the end. His ex Nancy dumped him a couple months ago for Johnathan Byers and Steve had been trying to replace her ever since. "Well, I am glad you found someone, Steve." I smiled at him and turned back to my book.

"What did you do?" Steve asked. "Uh....not much. Smoked that other joint I had." I said shakily. Lying to him wasn't fun. "No nightmares?" He asked curiously. "No nightmares." I respond with a smile. "Good deal, sis." Steve rubbed the top of my head, completely messing up my hair, then stood up to leave.

"Steve..." I ask, trying to talk myself into asking about Eddie. "Whats up?" He came and sat back down next to me. "I was just wondering, why do you hate Eddie Munson so much?" Shit, I asked him. I looked up at him and saw the anger cross his face.

"Why does it matter?" The sterness in his voice made me put my book down and sut up. "I'm just curious." I really was. "When I told you I got some weed, you automatically assumed it was from him and flipped out."

Steve let out a huge sigh. Here it goes he was fixing to tell me.

"Eddie and I met in kindergarten. They moved into the house across the street, where the Taylor's live now. You were still to young to remember. Anyways, we became best friends within days, and he was so cool to me. His dad had already started teaching him how to play guitar, and we would have sleepovers and pretend we were in a rock band. It was like that until 2nd grade, when his mom died, and his dad had to sell the house and move."

"His mom died, too?" I asked trying to hold back tears. "Yeah, she did. I think cancer too." His head sunk for a second. "Anyway, his dad moved them out of town for a while. Became a drunk and lost custody of Eddie. So Wayne, his Uncle took him in and he's been living over there in the trailer park ever since." Wow his mom died. Why didn't he tell me? "So you hate him now because he left?" I just didn't understand.

"No! When he came back, he was a bully. He picked on me for everything. He knew everything about me so he knew exactly how to fuck me around and make everyone pick on me too. He started getting into that weird fucking game, Dungeons and Dragons, and formed his little cult. We went back and forth with each other and I dubbed him "The Freak". How he dressed, his hair. His music. I played off that. Thats really how I got popular. Picking on "the freak". But that didn't stop him from fucking with me. We fought all through school. I just can't stand him y/n." He finished his story and I was in shock. This is why they didn't like each other? What kind of bullshit is this.

"You think maybe since you're an actual adult now you can get over that?" I said kind of angrily. "Why?" He snapped back. "Whats it to you?" I couldn't lie to him anymore. It was eating me up. "I lied to you, Steve." Oh man he's going to kill me. "I did get that joint from Eddie, I smoked with him that day I didn't come home." Steve's face was red. "We hung out last night too, and he's being really nice to me."

"Are you fucking kidding me, y/n?" He's fuming. "What on earth would possess y....I'm gonna fucking kill him!" Steve threw his hands up in disbelief. "No, Steve, you're not!" I yell in his face. "He makes me feel better, and as long as he does, I'm going to keep hanging out with him!"

Steve stood up from where we were and stomped out of my room, slamming my door. I heard him cross the hall and slam his door too.

Shit. Steve is really mad. This is so stupid. They both need to get over themselves. I decided I was going to talk to Eddie about this.... if I ever see him again that is.

It was 10 pm and still no sign of Eddie. I had no pot, because it was drowned in my water cup, and I was beyond bored. I decided to get ready for bed. I wanted to keep up the routine of taking care of my body, in the off chance Eddie wanted to see it again. I took a shower, washed my face, and brushed my teeth and hair. I threw on a pink satin pajama set I had and climbed into bed. I quickly started to drift off.

*tink* What the fuck? My eyes darted open. *tink* I remained quiet, so I could figure out where the sound was coming from. *tink* It was my window. Someone was throwing rocks at my window. I knew it could only be one person. I looked at the clock. Midnight. It had to be Eddie. I get up, and rush over to my window. I made sure Eddie knew I was there by turning on a small light. I didn't want him to pummel me with a rock. I got his attention, and opened the window.

"Hey, princess!" Eddie whispered. "Eddie, what the fuck!" I whispered back. "Its midnight!" "Come down here, and I'll explain ok?" I rolled my eyes in an "alright, fine" kind of manner. I found a sweater to cover up with and crept downstairs. I saw that dad had made it back. He was in his usual spot, passed out in front of the television.

I made it outside to find Eddie, leaned up against his van. "Sorry, princess." He said as he kissed my forehead. "Hellfire, went a little long." His kiss on my forehead made up for all of it. "Well its to late, Munson." I pout. "Steve's here, and he will freak out." Even though I thought it was ridiculous, I knew that's what Steve would do. "Its okay, hop in." He nudged his perfectly sculpted jawline towards the van. "Lets go for a drive." I took a couple steps back from him and opened my sweater, revealing my skimpy pajamas. "Do I look like I'm dressed for a drive, Munson?" "No, but definitely a ride!" He winked as he opened the passenger door. "Get in the van, princess." Once again, I melted and obeyed him.

We drove around Hawkins for a few hours talking about everything. D&D, music we liked, people at school we didn't. We jammed out to a few songs and by that point we were just driving in circles.

"Wanna go back to my place?" Eddie asked me. I could tell he was starting to get tired. "Sure." I smiled. He hit the gas and headed for his trailer.

Once we got there, his demeanor changed some. "Whats wrong, Munson." I ask stroking his hair. "This isn't the suburbs, princess." He frowned. "Just don't judge me too hard. Okay?" "Eddie, I don't care where you live." I say thoughtfully. "I'm spending time with you, thats all that matters." He smiled at me. "Wait there." Eddie jumped out of the van and ran to my side. Opened the door and carried me out of the van to his front porch. Oh my god, this man is so amazing. "Sorry, I didn't want you to have to walk through the dirt." He said as he unlocked the door. "Come on in, princess." Eddie bowed to me and unfurled his arm into the trailer, like a true gentleman. I giggled and stepped inside.

Once inside, Eddie scurried around to clean up. "Sorry, the place is such a mess." I walk over to him and grab his hand. "Eddie, relax." I gave him a small peck. "Its okay, really." He gave me a huge toothy smile, the swooped me up and threw me over his shoulder and carried me to his room. "Ah, Eddie!" I screamed and laughed.

He sat me down on his bed. I looked around his room. Iron Maiden and Metallica posters plastered his wall, and his guitar hung from a full length mirror he had hanging too. I liked his room. It was messy, but, it was very...Eddie Munson.

"Is your uncle here? Sleeping?" I ask. "Nah, he works nights at the plant." His smile grew, "so...its just us." Eddie excused himself to the bathroom. I noticed his D&D binder on the bed next to me and flipped through it. "Cult of Vecna" caught my eye, but I had no idea what it meant. Before I could look further Eddie came back in the room.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. All Eddie had on was a pair of plaid pajama pants. With his boxers peaking out the top. Of course his guitar pick necklace, rings, and bracelet remained. Nothing else, though. He looked so good. I wanted to devour him. "Slow down, y/n!" I told myself, and smiled at him. I patted the bed next to me, wanting him to sit down.

He started shaking his head no, but grinned at me. I stuck my bottom lip out and whined, "please?" But Eddie didn't move. He dropped his head down, signaling for me to come stand in front of him. Really? He won't come sit by me, but wants me to come to him? How is this fair? I did it anyway.

I got up from the bed and went to him. He put his hands around my waist, kind of rocking me back and forth. "Last night was really fun." He said. "But tonight, I just want to be with you. Okay?" I was shocked. I never had been with anyone that didn't want to just fuck all the time. "What do you mean?" I asked, confused. "I want this to go right, y/n." He said as he grabbed my chin. "Your not just some quick fuck to me. I like you.. a lot." He leaned in and kissed me. My stomach raged with fire. I wanted him so bad, but he was right. I wanted more than just sex from him too. He grabbed my hands and turned me around leading me to the bed. We layed there together and talked some more when I could start to hear the sleep creep into Eddie's voice. "Lets go to sleep, Munson." I reached in and gave him a kiss. He grabbed my face so that I would kiss him longer. When he was done, he let go, so I pulled back. "Good night, princess."

"Good night." I layed back down and listened to him drift off. This felt so right, laying here with him. Feeling him wrapped up in me.

This was perfect.....

#eddie #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #strangerthingsedit #eddie the freak munson #eddie munson cute

[michinmari]

Job hunting past 40

This is the first time I've ever been without a job since I joined the workforce when I was 21. I've always just resigned, but did the responsible thing by already having a job lined up BEFORE tendering my resignation.

So imagine my surprise (sort of, but I could already see the writing on the wall) when I got called in for a quick meeting BEFORE my shift started and was told that due to the restructuring that the company was doing, my position has now been made redundant.

Was I angry? No. Like I said, writing on the wall and all that. Was I resentful? Not at all.

And you know what made me not feel all of that? Certainly not because I'm an emotionally mature person. Because while I may have been a legal adult for now much longer than I was a child, emotionally maturity was never my forte. But that's a different topic for a different post.

Going back: It was because immediately after they told me I was going to lose my job, they also told me just how much I was going to receive for my severance pay.

Typically, at least in the Philippines, a severance pay consists of a month's pay for every year of service. If, at the time of your leaving your job through reasons that entitle you to a severance, you've been in service for 1 year and 6 months, then they'll count your service as 2 years therefore you are entitled to 2 months of severance pay.

I was with the company for 9 years and 2 months, so I should have received 9 months' worth of my salary. However, my company decided to give me my entire year's salary. And since the separation was through no fault of my own and was beyond my control, it's non-taxable. They also gave me what would have been my bonus for next year. I expected it to be pro-rated since I'd only worked until July 7, but they paid me the full bonus for the entire year, as well as my 13th month pay -- that was pro-rated.

They also gave me the cash amount of the medical insurance that they had already paid for me. And as the cherry on top of the icing, I was told that my last day would be June 7, the Friday of the week I was told. However, my official termination date was on July 7. And that I would still be paid for the entire month -- that I did not work. A month's vacation -- paid!

I'm not saying all of that to brag. I'm saying that to maybe underscore why I'm not upset that I'm jobless for the first time at 41.

But I'm also low-level terrified. I'm not good with changes. And this is a BIG change. A lot of things have... well, CHANGED since that last time I went job hunting. A lot of the jobs I'm seeing now are social media related. I don't know how to do that -- for other people. My social media activity over the last 3 years consists of lurking on TikTok while saving videos I like. I understand the words "analytics" but have never used it in practice.

So now I'm job hunting. The only saving grace I have is that I'm not on panic mode because A) I have money -- I have not gone insane with the spending and I'm quite proud of myself that I didn't blow through the entire thing -- and B) I've moved back home with my mom. Rent's pretty low here in Dumaguete and she told me I don't have to pay for anything but myself. So I pay my own bills and indulgences, and sometimes I pay for groceries. I've only been here less than two months, but I think our set up is working.

That's the other thing I was kind of apprehensive about -- living with my mother full time. You see, I went to university in Manila and only came home for the holidays. Sometimes I would stay in Manila for summer to either take summer classes or just go on vacation with my friends -- with parents' blessing and a bit of pocket money. So that meant that from age 17 to up until September 2023, I essentially lived alone.

Also, I'm an only child. I'm used to being alone. I LOVE being alone. I used to say that I have no gene for loneliness. I honestly don't know what being lonely feels like.

So now it's going to be a bit of an adjustment. But for now, it's all good.

Going back to what this is supposed to be about: job hunting at 41. It's been... challenging. Mostly because I no longer want to go back to an office set up. And through luck, my ability to really shine during interviews (it's a superpower) and a bit of smarts, I have reached a certain salary band that isn't exactly welcomed by employers here in the Philippines.

Before you say "Then find remote jobs based in the States!" You mean freelancing? Nothing against it, but I want the trappings of insurance, tax payments and all that other stuff to be done by another department. I don't want to have to DIY it. I can do it with arts & crafts, but not when it comes to money.

So here I am, pecking away at my keyboard, still job hunting and possibly lowering my salary expectations. I've been jobless for more than two months now, and I'm getting antsy. So antsy that I may have overextended myself by signing up for 3 language classes back to back on a Saturday and 2 graduate-level classes -- all online.

And that's where I currently am.

Or was. I started this post last year and after I put this draft away, I got a job — two months after I applied for it. The pay is HALF of what I used to receive, but I'm okay with that. It's enough for my bills (and the ones I volunteered to pay at my mom's house: electricity, water, internet and grocery twice a month) and my occasional online shopping.

It's also the kind of job I thought I would be good at and would never stress about: writing.

You see, my undergraduate degree was in Comparative Literature. I know, I know. Not a job that guarantees employment, but I knew I wouldn't be miserable. In fact, it was the one thing I knew I'd excel at: reading and writing about what I read.

You'd think this job would be a no-brainer for me. And most days, it is. Until you consider the fact that I write for an audience. This was never something I had to factor in when I used to write in school. I didn't even factor in what my thesis advisor thought.

But in the age of social media, the audience is key. And I don't think I'm getting through. I'm not very good with click-baity headlines — which I know are necessary to hook some readers' attention.

And I'm struggling. Not drowning, but just struggling.

This is a new feeling for me. I was in a management position for 9 years. The only thing I struggled with were people and meetings with people. But I quickly developed a work-around. And it was easy because I was the manager. All I needed to do was make sure people understood the expectations of the job, that we were all on the same page, they had the training to do the job and then get out of their way. I made sure they knew they could come to me if they had any questions.

Luckily, I hired very competent people. They only really asked for meetings when it comes to PTOs (paid time off). And as for meetings? There are also ways around that. If you ever worked a corporate job and had to attend meetings that really should have been emails, you know what those work-arounds are.

And I was paid really well. I had health insurance — which, luckily I never used for myself. My parents, though? My mother had two back-to-back surgeries that would have cost her about PhP1 million. Her out-of-pocket expenses? Almost zero, thanks to my insurance.

Now, that's gone. This is the first time I get nervous whenever I hear my mother complain about an ailment. Because I know I can't help much.

But we're straying way too far when it comes to the point that I originally was trying to make: job hunting in your 40s.

It's hard. There. That's it.

It's hard because you have the experience, but the positions and the salaries just don't match your expectations.

If you REALLY want a job, it's not a problem if you just get one that you know how to do just so you can have something to do and an income.

That's what I did. I didn't want a huge gap between the day I left my company and a new job.

Even though I have an okay-paying job now, I still applied on job portals every day. I mean that: every single day.

I've had a handful of interviews. Some have ghosted me — my first ever experience of that. Some have gotten back to me with such a low offer that it wasn't even worth pursuing any more.

Anyway, I'm just writing here with advice — if you want it.

First, try not to fall into a pit of despair. It won't be easy because as my friend Luis pointed out to me, I had made my job and my position (and my salary) a big part of my identity. It's hard not to do that since I had all that for 9 years.

Second, start dusting off your resume and log back in to all the job portals you can find.

Third, start searching. Then start applying.

Fourth, companies take their time now. Even if they do say "urgent hiring," there's still a lot of steps. Learn how to be patient.

Fifth, decide whether you want a job — any job just to tide you over — or a job you want. If you're lucky, like I was, you have a financial buffer. If you don't, then you have to decide whether the one being offered is worth it (financially or otherwise) or if you think you can wait for a better one to come.

I'm sorry if that's not helpful. But it's a difficult job market. If you're like me: in your 40s and stayed so long in one company and one position, and never bothered to learn new things like social media marketing (which is all the rage now), it's going to be even more difficult.

The job market has changed so drastically now, especially after the pandemic. Some companies seem to want you to audition now — complete with a video introducing yourself and why you want the job you're applying for.

At first that appealed to the delusional wanna-be celebrity in me. After, it was just exhausting. Before I left my previous job, I'd been working from home and never really wore make up and dressed up any more.

Now I had to make sure the lighting was right and that my script wasn't too formal nor too informal. It's like creating a YouTube video — which I tried, but only for personal stuff.

You'll need to learn how to do all these new things now. And don't get me started on AI. That's a whole 'nother topic.

BUT... there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you. You WILL find a job. You WILL get a job.

Like I said, it's a matter of choice. Do you want a job? Any job that pays the bills? Or do you want a job you want?

The second one's trickier because you'll need to be financially secure because that's going to be quite a wait.

Right now, I'm still at my writing job. I enjoy it most days — especially if I don't think about the audience. Or my now-frequent use of the word 'bonkers.'

But I'm still applying. I get interviews once every two weeks. None have panned out yet. But I'm still hopeful.

#jobless at 40 #how to find a job in your 40s #job hunting in your 40s #job search philippines #jon hunting

[snifflesthemouse]

A Letter To Harry

Dear Harry,

My name is Nunya Business. I just want to take the time out of my life to clue you in on something I had to learn the hardest of ways. If my life lessons can save you the pain and suffering I went through, while indirectly saving the rest of us the pain and suffering from hearing about your pain and suffering, so be it. Let me begin.

You see, Harry, my mom died when I was 25. She was 47. She was bedridden the last ten years of her life. So that means she was permanently confined to a hospital bed for ten solid years, beginning when I was 15. That also means I watched her die slowly for ten years. By the time I was 16, I was trained in wound care management. I was also working 40+ hours a week at a fast-food place and attending school whenever I could. Even though I missed a lot of school, I still carried straight As. I always had great grades in school; I was getting scholarship recruitment letters by the time I was 15. I was brilliant. Still yet, I dropped out of high school by the second day of twelfth grade.

Unlike the traumatic lifestyle of servants and wealth, I was brought up extremely poor. The state paid for our school clothes through clothing vouchers. My dad worked a full-time job from the time he was sixteen until he retired AFTER my mom died. But my mom never held a job, drove a car, got a GED or photo ID, and missed out on a lot of living. So, he was the only source of income until I was old enough to help with the medical bills. He was 18 years older than she was. He only kept working after he reached retirement age because she needed insurance, but I digress. Back to the poor me part of my letter.

Here I was. Sixteen, early into my budding painkiller addiction, working full time, essentially homeschooling myself, taking care of my mother, AND still hoping I could make it out of there. SPOILERS: I DIDN’T MAKE IT OUT OF THERE. You know why? I played the same hand you play now. The poor me, poor me, pour me cards. I started taking my mom’s pain pills for my migraines. One didn’t really go full blown migraine on me one day, and I got high. By the middle of my tenth-grade year, I was having four Percocet tens and a chocolate milk for breakfast. For lunch I had a nap after fighting in and out of nodding off high for the first four periods. Eventually, that drug addiction got insane out of hand. I went from prescription pain killers to shooting heroin within 5 years. I went from never having a detention to having a felony credit card fraud charge and ten years over my head. I didn’t have old money to buy my excuses. I went to prison.

Unlike you, Harry, I wasn’t able to go to immaculate rehabs or have my family bail me out of trouble. I wasn’t able to do hard drugs and become a binger alcoholic behind the scenes, then just “quit” without issue. Something tells me neither were you. I’ve met a ton of addicts and alcoholics. Both say the same. After a month of the same nonsense, the addiction was rooted. So please explain to me how you managed to escape the severities associated with heavy drug use and drinking without withdrawing or getting hooked. Seriously, because you’d be the first person impervious to addiction. Most all of us have to fight the fight of our lives to get and stay clean. I know, I’ve managed almost 6 years now. What about you?

No, like us regular folk, I had to go about sobriety the long, hard route. But of course, it cost waaayy more than you’d ever understand.

Your partying days in Nazi uniforms didn’t cost a thing compared to how much they can cost regular people. By 17, I was already shacked up with a psychopath ten years my senior who literally ended up killing my childhood best friend’s fiancé. Not even exaggerating. My ex killed my ex-best friend’s fiancé in the living room of the house I grew up in, in front of my mom and dad. A month before my mom died, actually. My ex-boyfriend did some major fuck shit to me, and I have a history of dating abusers, but I won’t get into that. Just know 50 Shades isn’t sexy to me and hearing old country music instantly makes my face hurt from getting full beer cans chucked at me… Oh and ya know what, Harry? Turns out if I kept dating psychopaths who hit me… the real problem wasn’t who I was dating. It was ME. But again I digress. Sorry Harry.

I lost my friend who was murdered by my ex at my parents’ home a month before my mother died and two months before I was sent to prison. I struggled with addiction from the time I was 16 until my last relapse 3 July 2015. I dropped out of high school because of my drug addiction, then dropped out of college after getting my GED and a scholarship. 

My mother first introduced me to pain pills. She didn’t realize what she was doing and all, but she just thought she was helping her daughter get through a migraine. I got hooked. I robbed everyone I ever loved and didn’t give two shits about the people I hurt. To this day, I still struggle with caring about people. But again, I digress.

My point is this, Harry. I’ve personally been through fifty times more shit than you have. I watched my mother die slowly over ten years. I watched her gasp for air and cry in the night for God to just take her out of this world so she’d not be in pain anymore. I have lost most everyone I hold near and dear to me simply because I failed to show any self respect, accountability, or acceptance. I didn’t have parents cleaning up my messes with money. I didn’t have castles and privileges to boot when the newspapers ran the stories where I was sentenced to prison. No. I had to face the music and learn the world could fucking care less about how I feel.

Now is time you learn this lesson, too. The world is not fair. What you feel is not important. All that matters is what you do with how you feel. Nobody, and I mean absofuckinglutely NOBODY gives two shits about how you feel; the only reason people watch is because they are nosey. The only reason Oprah makes shows with you is to exploit your story for financial gain, like some type of trauma porn. Your wife isn’t looking out for you if she’s letting you incriminate yourself like that on TV and all, either. I know what you are going through, as I have dated one of those. It didn’t end well for me, and it will not end well for you.

Final note, Harry. Your family in the UK have loved and protected you for your entire life. Everyone accommodated you in your naked billiards in Los Angeles and Calgary. They did more than you could understand. Before it’s too late, and they finally get tired of your repeated bullshit, and trust me Harry, they will… make up with them. If that means ditching the wife, ditch her. Because she’s going to ditch you soon enough.

Trauma isn’t a renewable resource, my love. People are tired of your greatest hits on repeat. Better start the plans to turn that wife into the second act soon or the checks will start bouncing faster than those moon bumps. Oh and another thing, man the fuck up! Everyone has problems. You are not special. You’re not even a spare anymore. You’ve been replaced on all that. So why the hell do you still hold onto your childhood the way you do? Or those titles like you do? Oh you must be a masochist. You must like it.

Sincerely,

Nunya Business

#megxit #yankeewally #prince harry

[fybillielourd]

I grew up with three parents: a mom, a dad and Princess Leia. I guess Princess Leia was kind of like my stepmom–technically family, but deep down I didn’t really like her. She literally and metaphorically lived on a planet I had never been to. When Leia was around, there wasn’t as much room for my mom–for Carrie. As a child, I couldn’t understand why people loved Leia as much as they did. I didn’t want to watch her movie, I didn’t want to dress up like her, I didn’t even want to talk about her. I just wanted my mom–the one who lived on Earth, not Tatooine. I didn’t watch Star Wars until I was about 6 years old. (And I technically didn’t finish it until I was 9 or 10. I’m sorry! Don’t judge me!) My mom used to love to tell people that every time she tried to put it on, I would cover my ears and yell, “It’s too loud, Mommy! Turn it off!”–or fearfully question, “Is that lady in the TV you?” It wasn’t until middle school that I finally decided to watch it of my own accord–not because I suddenly developed a keen interest in ’70s sci-fi, but because boys started coming up to me and saying they fantasized about my mom. My mom? The lady who wore glitter makeup like it was lotion and didn’t wear a bra to support her much-support-needed DD/F’s? They couldn’t be talking about her! I had to investigate who this person was they were talking about. So I went home and watched the movie I had forever considered too loud and finally figured out what all the fuss was about the lady in the TV. I’d wanted to hate it so I could tell her how lame she was. Like any kid, I didn’t want my mom to be “hot” or “cool”–she was my mom. I was supposed to be the “cool,” “hot” one–not her! But staring at the screen that day, I realized no one is, or ever will be, as hot or as cool as Princess F-cking Leia. (Excuse my language. She’s just that cool!) Later that year, I went to Comic-Con with my mom. It was the first time I realized how widespread and deep people’s love for Leia was, even after so many years. It was surreal: people of all ages from all over the world were dressed up like my mom, the lady who sang me to sleep at night and held me when I was scared. Watching the amount of joy it brought to people when she hugged them or threw glitter in their faces was incredible to witness. People waited in line for hours just to meet her. People had tattoos of her. People named their children after her. People had stories of how Leia saved their lives. It was a side of my mom I had never seen before. And it was magical. I realized then that Leia is more than just a character. She’s a feeling. She is strength. She is grace. She is wit. She is femininity at its finest. She knows what she wants, and she gets it. She doesn’t need anyone to defend her, because she defends herself. And no one could have played her like my mother. Princess Leia is Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher is Princess Leia. The two go hand in hand. When I graduated from college, like most folks, I was trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life. I went to school planning to throw music festivals, but always had this little sliver of me that wanted to do what my parents pushed me so hard not to do–act. I was embarrassed to admit I was even slightly interested. So when my mom called me and told me they wanted me to come in to audition for Star Wars, I pretended it wasn’t a big deal–I even laughed at the concept–but inside I couldn’t think of anything that would make me happier. A couple weeks later I went in for my audition. I probably had never been more nervous in my life. I was terrified and most likely made a fool of myself, but I kind of had a great time doing it. I assumed they would never call me, but after that audition, I realized I wanted to give the whole acting thing a shot. I was definitely afraid, but as a wise woman once said, “Stay afraid, but do it anyway … The confidence will follow.” About a month later, they somehow ended up calling. And there I was, on my way to be in motherf-cking Star Wars. Whoa. Growing up, my parents treated film sets like a house full of people with the flu: they kept me away from them at all costs. So on that fateful first day driving up to Pinewood, I was like a doe-eyed child. I couldn’t tell my mom, but little sassy, sarcastic, postcollege me felt like a giddy, grateful middle schooler showing up to a fancy new school. On that first day, my mom and I sat next to each other in the hair and makeup trailer. (Actually, she wasn’t really one for sitting, so she paced up and down and around me, occasionally reapplying her already overapplied glitter makeup and feeding Gary, her French bulldog.) Between glitterings, the hairstylist crafted what was to become General Leia’s hairstyle, then it was on to me: little Lieutenant Connix. Funnily enough, my mom had more to say about my hairstyle than her own. Even though she complained for years about how the iconic Leia buns “further widened my already wide face,” she desperately wanted me to carry on the face-widening family tradition! Some people carry on their family name, some people carry on holiday traditions–I was going to carry on the family hairstyle. So after we tested a few other space-appropriate hairstyles, we decided to embrace the weird galactic nepotism of it all and went with the mini–Leia buns. She stood in the mirror behind me and smiled like we had gotten matching tattoos. Our secret-handshake hairstyle. On the first day of this thing I could now call “work,” I walked into the Resistance Base set for rehearsal and J.J. Abrams, the director, told me where to stand and what to do–basically just press some pretty real-looking fake buttons. But I have to say, just pressing those buttons and observing the rest of the scene was one of the most fun things I had ever done. I had no lines in the scene, but my mom kept checking on me like I was delivering a Shakespearean monologue. “Are you O.K.?” she asked. “Do you need anything?” I scoffed at her maternal questions like a child embarrassed by her mother yelling goodbye too loud in a carpool line: “Mommy, go away! I’m fine. Focus on you, not me!” In the moment, I was humiliated that my mom was moming me on my first day of work, on the Star Wars set, of all places. But now I realize she was just being protective. Sets are extremely intimidating–I was too green at the time to know that–and she assumed I would be scared as hell. But weirdly, I wasn’t. At risk of sounding insane, something about this bizarre new world made me feel right at home. I had found a place with an empty puzzle slot that perfectly matched my weird-shaped puzzle piece. That night, on the long London-traffic-filled ride back from set, she turned to me and smiled. “Bits,” she said. “You know, most people aren’t as comfortable on sets as you were today. Especially on the f-cking Star Wars set, of all places!” (Excuse my language, but that was her language.) “This might be something you should think about doing.” At first I laughed, assuming she was kidding. But she continued to look me straight in the eye with no inkling of irony in sight. My mom was telling me I should act–my mom? The lady who spent my entire life convincing me acting was the last thing I should do? It couldn’t be true. But it was. I haven’t had many moments like this in my life–those aha moments everyone talks about. This was my first real one. My mom wanted me to be an actress. That was when I realized I had to give it a shot. She used to sarcastically quip that she knew all along what a massive hit Star Wars would be. As with most things, she was kidding. She was absolutely and totally beyond shocked by the massive global phenomenon that was the first Star Wars trilogy. It changed her life forever. Then, when it happened again almost 40 years later, she was even more absolutely and totally beyond shocked. It changed her life yet again. But that time, it changed my life too. I thought getting to make one Star Wars movie with her was a once-in-a-lifetime thing; then they asked me to come do the next movie and I got to do my once-in-a-lifetime twice. On our second movie together, I really tried to take a step back and appreciate what I was doing. I couldn’t tell her because she’d think I was lame, but getting to watch her be Leia this time made me feel like the proud mom. Watching the original Star Wars movies as a kid in my mom’s bed, I never imagined the lady in the TV would get older and get back in the TV. And I definitely never imagined we would end up in the TV together. But that’s where we ended up. Two little ladies in the TV together–Leia and little Lieutenant Connix. We wrapped The Last Jedi a little less than six months before she died. I went back to L.A. to film the show I was on, and she stayed in London to film the show she was on. One of the last times we spoke on the phone, she talked about how excited she was that the next movie in the trilogy was going to be Leia’s movie. Her movie. She used to say that in the original movies, she got to be “the only girl in an all-boys fantasy.” But with each new Star Wars movie, the all-boys fantasy started to become a boys-and-girls fantasy. She was no longer a part of a fantasy, but the fantasy herself. Leia was not just a sidekick one of the male leads had on his arm, or a damsel in distress. She was the hero herself. The princess became the general. My mom died on Dec. 27, 2016. Two days after Christmas, four days before New Year’s and about a year before she was supposed to appear in her final Star Wars film. Losing my mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I lost my best friend. My little lady in the TV. My Momby. And I inherited this weird, intimidating thing called her legacy. Suddenly I was in charge of what would come of her books, her movies and a bunch of other overwhelming things. I was now the keeper of Leia. About a year later, J.J. called me into his office to talk about the plans for Leia. We both agreed she was too important to be written off in the classic Star Wars introductory scroll. This last movie was supposed to be Leia’s movie, and we wanted it to remain that, as much as possible. What I hadn’t known–and what J.J. told me that day –was that there was footage of my mom that they had collected over the years that hadn’t made it into the movies, footage that J.J. told me would be enough to write an entire movie around. It was like she had left us a gift that would allow Leia’s story to be completed. I was speechless. (Anyone who knows me knows that doesn’t happen very often.) J.J. asked me if I would want to come back as Lieutenant Connix. I knew it would be one of the most painful, difficult things I would ever do, but I said yes for her–for my mom. For Leia. For everyone Leia means so much to. For everyone Leia gives strength to. For my future kids, so someday they’ll have one more movie to watch that Mommy and Grandma were in together. So they can ask me about the lady–now ladies–in the TV and tell me to turn it down because it’s too loud. I grew up with three parents: a mom, a dad and Princess Leia. Initially, Princess Leia was kind of like my stepmom. Now she’s my guardian angel. And I’m her keeper.

#billie lourd #interview #star wars #Carrie Fisher

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: talks of spencers major anxiety, parental death tw (not Diana or bob and Linda), trauma talks, computer hacking and new members joining the family...

word count: 4k

from the beginning <3

Taylors biggest surprise that weekend was what she had planned for Amoreena that night.

She set up a fort in the theatre room, they had every snack imaginable and any movie of her choice to watch. Karaoke in the corner, popcorn being popped in a theatre-style machine, and 3 different, matching child and adult, princess dresses for them to choose from.

It was all an elaborate plan to keep her preoccupied until bedtime, which Taylor offered to handle so that her parents could have a little wedding night date alone.

They’re all ready for a wonderful night when Spencer’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Spencer answers, sneaking away from the girls so he could hear better.

“Spencer, I am so sorry to interrupt you this late, but we have a situation… it’s not something that should be discussed over the phone. Do you have someone to watch Amoreena while you and Y/N come into the bureau? As soon as you can?”

His stomach drops, he feels instantly sick. “Not until you tell me who’s dead, who’s dying or who’s trying to kill us.”

“No one is, Spencer, it’s not a case or criminal related, it’s… personal, someone is here to see you,” she sounds serious and Spencer is still just as worried.

“I’ll tell the girls,” he responds before hanging up.

Y/N is standing right behind him, listening with wide eyes as she waits to soothe his panic. They worked like a well-oiled machine, she could physically feel his anxiety and in return, something about her just being there made him physically feel better.

“What’s wrong?” Taylor asks as she appears behind Y/N, Amoreena now off changing into one of the dresses she picked.

“They won't tell me on the phone but they need me and Y/N back at Quantico as soon as possible,” Spencer explained with a pale face, “we can go in the morning.”

“I’m fine watching Amoreena for the night, there’s a hanger down the road with a few of my dad’s planes, I can have someone take you to Virginia within the next hour? It's only 7 pm, I’m sure you can be back before bedtime?” Taylor offered her services for the 100th time that day, “It’s not a problem, really, and they wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious, they’re the FBI after all.”

With that, they said goodbye to Amoreena and told her they’d be back before she woke up in the morning. If not, she had Y/N’s cellphone for the night to call them before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up, so she won't bother Taylor that early. (Even though Taylor said she wouldn’t mind early morning Amoreena cuddles.)

He was anxious on the drive to the small airport, the old man named Norman, chartering them that night was incredibly kind, they were granted lading access in Quantico and before he could prepare, they were up in the air. He chatted up a storm with Y/N on the headset radio as Spencer overthought the upcoming chat with JJ and stared out at the world below them.

On queue, he jumped from anxious to scared when they land, before getting in the shuttle from the airstrip to the front entrance, but he’s so incredibly terrified when it comes time to actually start the walk to the bullpen.

“Will you come in with me?” His small voice asks as she is pinning a visitors tag on her shirt.

“Of course,” she smiled, taking his hand as they walked into the elevator together.

He grips her hand tighter as the elevator stops, dipping and returning to the right height and making his stomach drop the same way a rollercoaster would. He hated that feeling more than anything, having it alongside the anxiety wasn’t helpful.

He can see JJ and another girl sitting together at his old desk. She’s smiling at whatever JJ says, she looks exactly like Amoreena just with box-dyed black hair that shines purple under the lighting. She’s in all black, she pushes her glasses up her nose with her sweater hiding her hands, Spencer knows she’s a foster kid from just her posture.

“JJ,” Spencer makes their presence clear and the little girl turns to him with a huge smile, running to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Hi?”

She’s sobbing ten and he doesn’t know why or even who she is, he lightly holds her with complete shock on his face. He stares at JJ with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as he communicates the confusion and terror with his eyes.

“This is Josephine Elliot, or Jo as she likes to be called, her parents passed away a few months ago and she recently found out her biological father was actually a sperm donor and not her moms husband,” JJ explains a little before sighing and sitting on the edge of the desk.

“She hacked into the sperm bank and found your name, and google led her to the FBI and they stopped her at the second gate, the first only let her in thinking she was your other daughter, Amoreena.”

“I’m so sorry,” the poor girl wipes her tears with her sweater sleeves, “I don’t know why I hugged you when you don’t even know me, ew sorry.”

Spencer pulls her back into a hug, “it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about wanting a hug ever again. You can have whatever you need from me.”

She cries more, holding on to his shirt as he holds her, shushing her softly and rubbing his hand over her back. It’s weird how safe she seems this early in their acquaintance with one another, but he understands it. She’s so desperate for someone related to her to love her again, to replace what she was missing from her parents, that she’s already accepted him as a father without thinking it through. Without even know what he would be like to her.

When she finally calmed down enough, Spencer led her towards the briefing room so they could have a moment alone to talk. He wanted to know her, and she needed to know him before she made another big decision. He let her know who he was, what he used to do and the rundown on his relationship with Y/N and Amoreena.

“So you met her at the park and got married a week later because you both have dead exes and somehow through fate, you made a kid together?” She summed it up in a way that made it sound ridiculous.

“Mutual trauma is a great bonding tool, I’m sure you probably listen to rock music or anything sad and angry because you know someone feels the exact same way you do? I was like that when I was a teenager. We've both lost someone we loved and then made Amoreena out of pure luck,” he combated her snarky summary with his own profile of her.

“I actually like Taylor Swift, Paramore, Evanescence and Olivia Rodrigo when I need to scream about being sad, thank you very much,” she teased him, finding a very easy rhythm as they got to know one another.

“You’re going to lose your mind when you find out who’s with Amoreena right now,” Spencer smiles, somehow everything just fits together.

“What?” She looks so confused, scrunching her face the same way he did to push her glasses up without her hands.

“It’s a long story, but essentially we were at Taylor Swift’s house when JJ called, she’s watching Amoreena still,” Spencer explained, watching her jaw drop.

“Who the fuck are you, dude?” She whispered, and it took Spencer by surprise. “Sorry, I’m so used to swearing in front of adults lately to get my point across. But seriously, you’re so interesting…”

“Understandable,” Spencer laughs lightly at her strange compliment. “I have a lot of connections, and I’ll do anything to see the people I love, smile, that includes you now.”

“You barely know me and you’re just ready to accept that I’m your kid? Didn’t this just happen to you last week?” She laughs at the insanity of it all, “you’re going to have a million kids at this rate, dude.”

Again, she calls him dude and he knows she’s just trying to distance her emotions as they grow fonder and fonder. A coping mechanism so that she doesn’t get hurt anymore, she’s lost too much and she’s not going to love him just to lose him too.

“My dad ran out on me when I was a kid, I basically raised myself when my mom’s schizophrenia got bad, I know what it’s like to feel alone even when you’re with people who are supposed to love you,” he makes sure she knows who he is inside.

“I’m sorry,” she reaches a hand out for him, holding it softly. “I never really liked my dad growing up, he always felt off… I can’t explain it, but he was never the same guy twice he was either angry, miserable or scarily happy," she explains him and all Spencer can think is how he sounds like an unsub.

"I do miss my mom a lot, I didn’t know what else to do when I found out they couldn’t have babies together and she went to a Sperm bank without telling him. I know the names of your other kids too, besides Amoreena, I’m really surprised you found her mom without hacking the system too but, yeah, Dylan is 6 and Alice is 10, they’re both in DC with the same 2 mom’s, so if you didn’t want me, I was going to see if they would cause I’m technically their stepdaughter in a weird way and if I spent one more day in that foster home I would have ended it all,” it's a Reid rant, she's his for sure.

It takes him a minute to absorb it all, “wait, Amoreena is mine for sure?”

She nods like it’s a stupid question, “could you not tell my just looking at her? The 3 of us have the same face.”

“No, they wouldn’t tell us at the clinic,” Spencer is still in shock but more so that she got into the database so easily, “how did you do it?”

“It was easy, I had all the information about the sample my mom used so I just encrypted an email to the secretary of the sperm bank so as soon as she clicked the link to read more I’d have access to her computer, they didn’t even know I was in the system, they probably still don’t know I was there,” she explains it exactly how Penelope would.

“I don’t want you to think I’d ever not want you,” Spencer holds her hand a little tighter, “I’m not sure what the process will be like trying to get the foster agency to agree to me taking you home with us, but I’ll see what I can do. We have a big house and enough room for you in our hearts if this is where you’d like to be. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, you might hate the farm life and the isolation and all the cousins you now have, but you’re a piece of me and I’m not letting you go.”

She uses her free hand to wipe her tears on her sleeve again, “please, I know it’s not going to be the same but I miss having a family so much.”

He wraps her up in his arms, he knows the feeling all too well. One day his mom was there, the next day she was gone and no one prepared him for that. She never had to do this alone, Spencer wasn’t going to let that happen to her.

“Y/N is wonderful, you’ll love her and Amoreena. We live on a huge farm and there’s a lot to do during the day and people to spend time with, believe me, you’re going to feel so surrounded by the love you won’t know what to do with it all,” he shares from personal experience.

“Okay,” she hugged him tighter, pressing her face into his neck as he talked more, feeling the vibrations of his voice on her forehead to know that he was real. That his words were true and she was going to be taken care of.

“Is there anything about yourself that you’d like me to know? Or any questions you have? I’m sure this is going to be an interesting adjustment,” Spencer asked as he pulled away, looking down into her sweet eyes and seeing the hope she was still hanging on to.

“Is Y/N even okay with all of this? It’s her house isn’t it?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with it, she knew I had you and the other 2 out there somewhere, we just never expected to meet you so soon,” he’s as honest as possible, talking to her the same way he would with Henry, she seemed even more mature than him.

“Can she come in here too? I’d like to get to know her as well, see if she’s really as lovely as you say she is,” she smiled, coping with her trauma the same way he and Y/N did, with humour.

Almost like Y/N could feel him thinking about her, she knocked on the door before opening it a crack, “sorry, I have some updates,” she smiled.

Josephine smiled at her, “come in.”

Y/N sat down close to her and placed her hand on her shoulder, “my sister is a foster parent, she called her caseworker and they were able to rush the emergency next of kin paperwork, you can stay with us for as long as you would like to.”

“You’re serious? You barely know me?” She kept repeating that as if she convinced herself earlier in the day that they wouldn’t want to know her.

Y/N wrapped her up in a soft hug and Spencer saw all the tension leave Josephines body as she settled against her. It had been a long time since a mother held her, she didn’t realize how much she needed it until she was in her arms.

“You’re half Spencer, so by default you have a portion of my heart now too. I’m not going to love you as an obligation or because I feel like I have to, I love you because you’re part of him and our family,” she whispers into her hair, “I know what it’s like to be alone, you never have to be... unless we’re smothering you then I get it, but you know what I mean.”

She laughed in Y/N’s arms before pulling back. Y/N held her face in her hands and looked at her gently. She ran her fingers through her dyed hair, “you’re going to fit right in with the 4 of us.”

“Four?” She repeats, wondering who else they lived with.

“I’m pregnant,” Y/N smiles as Josephine lights up.

“I’ve always wanted to be a big sister,” she cried a little, “my mom named me after Jo from Little Women, she said she always planned to give me lots of sisters.”

“If this one is a girl she’ll be Eleonora like—“

“Like the poem, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favourites,” Jo smiled again.

Somehow, without even being there, Amoreena’s mess of glitter glue was able to patch her older sister's broken heart right then and there too.

“I read really fast, my mom said she was going to go bankrupt buying books for me,” she opened up more and more, the hurt of the memories fading as she remembered them with happiness instead of mourning.

Her mom was gone, but the love of a mother filled her space once more. Y/N took her under her wing, keeping her warm and making sure he grew to be as happy healthy and wonderful as all her other babies.

—

They arrive at Taylor's door once again at 11:30. Amoreena is sound asleep in the spare room, not even able to change out of her princess costume or phone them to say goodnight. Taylor said she had a sugar crash and just asked to go to sleep, reminding Taylor that she had the best day ever before closing her tired little eyes.

Jo was very anxious to meet Taylor too, telling her a similar story to Y/N’s from just a few hours prior. Taylor made sure she was comfortable for the night in another spare room, making her a hot chocolate and some snacks from earlier that day at lunch. She was the best host, a wonderful friend and an even better honorary godparent to these girls of Spencer’s.

“Can I have a hug?” She sheepishly asks before she has to turn down the hall to her bedroom for the night.

Spencer answers by wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to his chest once more, he wasn’t sure how his heart could hold so much love for these girls, and still have room left to make more one day. It was a dream come true to have a family this big, no one was going to believe that he gained 3 kids and a wife in under a month.

He kissed her on the forehead gently, seeing her smile at the contact let him know it was fine. “Goodnight dad,” she whispers, pressing her lips together awkwardly the same way he did before turning down the hall and disappearing into her room.

She had only a backpack of things currently, not expecting everything to go as smoothly as it did. She had enough clothes to sleep in, and Taylor happily provided some old tour perch to her just in case she needed something new to wear. Something to help her ease to sleep that didn’t feel like she was going back to her old life in the morning.

Amoreena was going to have a field day tomorrow when she met her big sister, the beautiful girl who was busy covering her scars with bandaids provided by Spencer, but it would take a lot of time, effort and care to make her feel truly healed again. It was going to be interesting seeing Amoreena adjust to sharing him so early, especially since he knew Jo would need so much more attention to ease her anxiety moving forward.

Spencer sat on the guest bed beside Y/N, noticing all the rose petals and candles on the dresser and night tables, “oh she really had a lot planned for us.”

“She’s the fairy godmother of our dreams,” Y/N agreed with a laugh. “I don’t mind staying up late tonight if you don’t mind leaving on Monday instead?”

“I was going on suggest the same thing,” he smiled at her, leaning in to press their lips together gently for the first time since the wedding that afternoon.

“let's get into our comfy’s and go for a walk on the beach, Taylor left me the keys to lock up when we come back,” she whispered the words against his lips before smiling.

“Can I call Derek before we go? I really need to talk to him,” he’s honest with her as he pulls away, feeling really anxious and shook up at the events of the day. He needed his best friend.

“Yeah, I’ll go check out the rest of the guest house, come find me when you’re done?” She says softly, getting off the bed with a smile and stepping out of the room with a small wave.

He takes his phone out and dials the number, waiting with the phone pressed against his ear as it rings. Again and again, every new hum in his ear making his heart beat faster, “hello?” He’s finally rescued.

“Have you talked to anyone on the team lately?”

“Who died?” It was everyone’s go-to question when they got a phone call like this one.

“No one, quite the opposite actually—“

“She’s pregnant!” Derek shouts, cutting him off and Spencer can hear Savannah asking who from the background.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not why I'm calling,” Spencer replies only to be met with Derek's laughter.

“Penny and I had a bet on how long it would take.”

“She cheated because she knew we were trying,” Spencer takes the fun from him, Penelope always won. “I have another kid.”

“I know man, birth is so cool— well I’m telling him anyway,” Derek is clearly talking to Savannah and him at the same time, “we’re pregnant again too.”

“No, Derek, I’m pregnant and sick as hell while you’re perfectly fine,” she snaps back at him as she takes the phone. “You better be so kind to her Doctor Spencer Reid; rub her feet, make her breakfast, thank every god on earth and the ground she walks on for being willing to make another version of you, do you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Spencer hold back a laugh, wondering when Y/N would have a hormonal switch like that, “but I didn’t mean the one in her stomach, another fully formed human of my creation walked into the BAU looking for me today.”

There’s a rustling through the phone as Derek takes it back from her, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Her name is Jo, she’s exactly a month younger than Henry and her parents died 7 months ago,” he continues without even repeating the last part, “Derek I have 3 kids now and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Where are you right now?”

“In Taylor Swift's guest house.”

“Spencer, be serious with me, are you doing drugs again?"

“Ask Penelope, she contacted Portia, Rossi’s stepdaughter, who contacted Taylor so I could help Y/N and Amoreena meet her, then JJ called and made us fly all the way to Quantico and now I have 2 children living with me and one on the way. Not to mention, child 1 is extremely jealous about sharing me with people and hasn’t even gotten accustomed to being a big sister, and child 2 is so traumatized she hacked the fucking sperm bank and explained it to me like it was as easy as making a sandwich. I am in over my head here, Derek.”

“Okay, that sounded more like Spencer Reid,” Derek’s calm and happy voice calms him slightly and prompts him to take a deep breath. “If she’s able to hack she’s most likely like Penelope, we can introduce them. She’ll need someone who understands the loss of a parent. Amoreena, on the other hand, you need to spend a day with just her. Take her to the movies, or to see a play or something. Let her know she’s always going to be your little girl no matter how many siblings she gets.”

“Thank you, I needed someone who wasn’t my overly optimistic wife to tell me if I could do it,” he’s overly honest, Derek is his person and will always be his person.

“I get it, thanks for calling me, I’m really glad you’re okay,” he can hear Derek's smile and all he wants is a hug from him. “How was the wedding?”

“Good, we all cried a lot,” he laughs then, “we were supposed to have a big dinner on the beach before we got called into Quantico, so I’m going to go spend time with her now, I love you, Derek,” he rushes the words out so he doesn’t get overly emotional.

“I love you too, Spencer, have a good night,” Derek hands up before they both get too emotional. They always had a knack for making the other cry in times like this.

He lets out a deep sigh before tossing his phone on the bedside table. 3 of his 5 kids were here with him and Y/N now, safe and sound. If anyone else needed him, they could wait.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

@k-k0129

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

[george-mackay-macfine]

Lets Play A Game - CH.2

Chapter 2 of let's play a game. Imagine who you wish as Jude.

“Okay, well, if we’re going to do this, we need rules.”

“Rules?”

“Rules.” I pushed the heavy-bodied oaf off me and stood up, “You know, like the Geneva contract….”

“This isn’t a world war, Edwards.”

“Oh really?” I spun on my heel, “Because I’m treating it as war.” I motioned between the two of us, “If I’m going to be playing dirty with the enemy, then I need to make sure there are no casualties, apart from you, of course.” I dipped my head to the side, sending him a cheeky smirk.

“Fine,” He rolled his eyes. “We’ll make some rules then.”

“Okay, first rule.”

“No one but us get’s to know about the game,” He pointed at me. “No mothers, no friends, no one.”

“Like I’d want anyone to know I was doing anything with you.” I agreed. “PDA?”

“Obviously,” He rolled his eyes. “No one will believe we’re dating if we don’t show some PDA.”

“Right, sorry, I forgot I was dealing with a man whore.” I threw at him. “Handholding.”

“Scared you’ll get cooties.” I shot him a glare. “Kissing.”

“Ugh,” I shrivelled my nose in disgust. “If we must,”

“You liked it.”

“No, not really.” He sat forward, his elbows resting on his knees. The feeling of his eyes on me began to make my chest feel warm.

“Then why are you still here, in my shirt, this close to falling back into my bed.”

“I’m not close to ‘falling back into your bed’, Hastings.”

“Oh really?” His hand grabbed at the bottom of his shirt, pulling me greedily towards him.

“I don’t have time for this again. I have to go.” The skin of his knuckles brushed the skin of my thighs as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

“C’mon Edwards. Admit it, you like this.” His fingers pushed up the shirt again, causing a sharp intake of breath from me. “And that.” He looked up at me through his eyelashes. “Shows me just how much you want me.”

“For God’s sake, Hastings. You’re insane.” My hands gripped onto his wrists fruitlessly, trying to stop him. “I have to leave.” In an instant, his hands had reached around my thighs and pulled me down onto his lap. His right hand rested on the curve of my ass—his left hand wandering up underneath his shirt, running along the skin of my stomach.

And when he looked at me with his stupid lips twisting into that cunning smirk. Dear God. If only his personality matched how attractive he was.

“You really want to leave?” I looked up to the ceiling, averting my eyes, so I didn’t make any more mistakes. “Stop me touching you, in the same way I was touching you last night” His hands went to the button on my pants, fiddling with it. “Admit it, I already know exactly what you like, Darcy.” His hand returned to my shirt, pushing the material upwards. I felt his lips on my skin next. Kissing along the exposed flesh. “There’s still one rule we need to decide on.”

“Mhhm.” Oh god, his hands touching me felt like it left a trail of fire in its wake, and maybe if I just pretend it was someone else, maybe Chris Evans, I could let this happen again.

“Sex,”

“What.”

“Sex, Will we have it through this little game?”

“God no,”

“Oh, come on. Tell me you don’t want it,” He whispered against my skin. I shook my head, biting my lip, hands going to his shoulders, holding on for dear life. “I need you to tell me.”

“I have to go,” I pulled my head down from the clouds and pushed him away. He fell back onto the bed with an exasperated huff. “I have brunch with my parents, and thanks to some cocky asshole, I’m going to have to sit through it without underwear.”

“Well, I’m going to have to get through today without my favourite shirt, So we’ll call it even.”

“You poor baby,” I straightened the jacket. “I hope you don’t die without it.” I walked towards the door, stopping just shy of it turning back to look at him. “Or, ya know… you can… do whatever suits you best, really.” I stepped through the threshold out into the unfamiliar hallway. “Shit,”

“Lost?” His ever so irritating voice whispered in my ear after I stood a moment, deciding what way to go.

“Of course not,”

“Then lead the way to the door, Honey.” I turned to face him at the nickname. He was still shirtless, now a pair of tracksuit bottoms covering his lower half.

“Honey?” He grinned, both top and bottom teeth on display, leaning back casually on the doorframe as he watched me. “That’s the nickname your going with? Really?”

“What?” He laughed, and God, he’d always had the kind of laugh that made you want to laugh with him. “I’m trying it out.”

“Try another one.” I looked left then to the right, trying to recollect what way Hastings had pulled me from last night.

“Need help?”

“No.” I stepped forward, then spun to the left, taking a tentative step forward, stopping when he cleared his throat. I turned to face him. His head shook no. “Mother ducker.” I muttered, spinning on my heel and walking back past him.

“You could have just asked for directions,”

“Shut up.” I growled as I stormed down the hallway and out into the living room. Surprisingly it was cleaner than I’d ever expected from Jude Hastings. “Have you seen my purse?”

“Hanging on the doorknob.”

“Great,” I walked to the door, grabbing the black shoulder bag I’d spent my morning looking for all over his bedroom. “Well,” I turned to look at my own personal demon. “This has been a ride…” A dirty smile broke out on his face. “Stop it.” I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll call you,”

“You don’t have my number,”

“Are you sure about that?”

“If you do have it,” I took a deep breath, pulling the door open. “Lose it.”

“Backing out already?”

“Never!” I shut the door behind me, ending the conversation. “What is wrong with me.” I muttered to myself as I began the walk to the cafe.

I had just agreed to potentially - doubtfully - fall in love with Jude Hastings, my mortal enemy. It may be dramatic, but he was the absolute worst, at least whenever he opens his mouth. Maybe I can just put a bag over his personality and gag him… then I would happily reinstigate what happened last night. Can you bag someone’s personality?

Not important right now, Darcy.

I had to formulate a plan, a way to make Hastings fall in love with me so I could crush his heart in my hands. A quick google as I walked told me most of what I already knew.

THE EASY FAULT FREE SIX STEPS TO MAKE YOUR WORST

NIGHTMARE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!

A dissertation by Darcy Alice Edwards

1. Maintain eye contact.

This was already a problem for me. Looking into Jude Hastings eyes for too long was known to induce nausea.

2. Be interested in who they are as a person and listen to everything they have to say.

Another problem for me, as I wasn’t interested in anything he had to say or anything he was interested in. Not only that, but the sound of his voice was often like the sound of nails on a chalkboard for me.

3. Make them feel appreciated and special.

Make Jude Hastings feel appreciated. How can I even manage to do this with a straight face?

4. Smile a lot.

This one maybe I could do. If I think of happy thoughts and pretend it was anyone but Hastings.

5. Embrace what the other person is most passionate about.

For Jude, this was beer pong and margaritas. I could embrace them.

6. Touch them more often.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

“Darcy, sweetheart, there you are.” The high pitched tone of my moms’ voice broke me from my research. She and my father sat at a table by the front door. The pair of them had a half-drunk coffee in front of them. Crap, they’ve been waiting, and by the frown lines on my mom’s face, it was longer than five minutes. “We’re been waiting for you.” There it was, three seconds into brunch, and she was already chastising me.

“Sorry,” I pushed my phone into my back pocket and took a seat across from her and my father. “Hi Dad,”

“Hi kitten,” Out of my two parents, my dad had always been my favourite. When my mom was harsh, my dad was kind. When mom drilled into me about my life, my dad made sure I felt loved. He was always the one to parent me, not just order me around.

“You couldn’t have dressed nicer for Sunday brunch?” Mom looked over Hastings crinkled shirt with an upturned nose. “What will people think?”

“Can I please order a mimosa.” I grabbed the nearby waitress with a pleading smile. “I’m sure they’ll think there’s Darcy Edwards.”

“Drinking already?”

“Extra champagne.” I called after the waitress.

“Darcy…”

“So what are we thinking of getting.” I ignored my mothers’ warning tone, picking up the menu. “Egg’s sound good.”

“I had the eggs last time. They were good.” Dad added. “I think I’ll have sausage and eggs, maybe some bacon.”

“Bacon sounds good.”

“You need to watch your cholesterol.” I was vaguely paying attention as my parents began to argue about my father can and can’t eat, but mostly I was dying for the mimosa to hurry up and arrive,

“There you are.”

“I don’t know if I want eggs anymore, maybe pancakes.” I muttered, poking the page with my finger. Syrup soaked pancakes did sound amazing right now, or maybe waffles.

“Baby,”

“Jude?” My head snapped up at the mention of his name. Standing beside me was Hastings dressed in his police uniform. “What are you doing here, sweetheart?” It was totally the man in uniform kink making my heart rate spike, not just Jude Hastings in a uniform.

“I just came to drop this off to Darcy.” He waved my wallet in the air. “She left it in my apartment when she rushed off this morning.”

“Oh, is that right?” Jude Hastings, you dirty dog. “Why don’t you join us for breakfast, Jude?” Mom smiled happily at him, she’d always loved him.

“He can’t-“

“I’d love to.” The seat was pulled out roughly, and his body flopped into the chair, his arm coming to rest on my shoulders. I turned to look at him. He was smirking. Of course, he was. “Hi.” He leaned in and kissed my lips.

“So.” I could hear the smile in my mom’s voice. “When did this all happen?”

“Two months ago.” I blurted, looking at Hastings’s eyes. “Right, Jude.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, turning to my parents. “We ran into each other one night at a bar, and we began talking, like civilised adults, finally, and it just started from there.” He shrugged as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

“And you didn’t tell me, Darcy?” I heard the edge on my mothers’ voice, oh boy. I was in big trouble.

“Well, we wanted to see exactly where things were going before we announced it to the whole town.”

I honestly believed that half the town would roll over and die when they find out Jude Hastings and Darcy Edwards were ‘dating’. Considering we’d nearly pulled the town apart with our pranks.

“Given our history,” Hastings added.

“Well, I think it’s wonderful.” My dad smiled at us. “You know I’ve always liked you, Jude.”

“Thank you, sir,”

“Kiss arse,” I let out under my breath.

“What was that sweetheart,” Hastings looked down at me with that fucking shit-eating grin.

“I said how sweet.”

“Mimosa,” The waitress reappeared.

“Please.” I held up my hand partly, mouth practically salivating at the idea of my alcohol in my bloodstream helping me get through this brunch. “Thank you.” I smiled as she placed the champagne flute in front of me.

“Mimosa, huh.” Hastings’s voice sounded teasing, but I knew him well enough to know this was no innocent observation. “You’d think she’d had enough to drink last night.”

“You went out last night?” My mother’s eyebrows shot up before a look of displeasure replaced the shock. “Is that why you’re dressed so…” We reached this part of breakfast quicker than I thought we would. Sit back, ladies and gents, the shows about the start. Act one; My mother judging my life choices as if I hadn’t been of legal age for the last six years.

“So what? Mother?” I picked up the flute and sat back in my chair, waiting for my mother to go off about my appearance.

“Messily.”

“No.” I deadpanned. “I’m dressed so messily because I was up early grading papers for my fourth-grade class.”

“Darcy, you surely don’t believe that I would believe-“

“It’s true. Darcy was up around dawn and began working.” As soon as my mother heard Hastings testimony for my ragged appearance, she sat back in her seat, a sweet smile replacing the devil horns.

Classic mom, always willing to believe the perfect Jude Hastings.

Speaking of the demon man himself. I don’t know if Hastings saved me because he felt terrible for the verbal ass-whooping my mother was about to give me or because he wanted to hold it over my head at a later date.

Probably the second one.

“See,” I took a long swig of the mimosa and looked at dad. “What are you getting, dad?”

“Waffles,” He smiled widely. God, he was a good man to put up with both my mother and I’s fighting. “With a side of fruit salad.”

“Sounds delicious.” I felt Hastings fingers fiddle and tap on the back of the chair, occasionally brushing my skin as they moved. “Mrs. Edwards, what are you going to get?”

I ignored the polite conversation trying to fight the feeling of nausea in my stomach as I watched my parents interact with Hastings and him with them. He was good at this, a borderline professional, but then again, what could you expect from a man who’d had more girlfriends than Keeping up with the Kardashians had seasons. I swear, in high school, it was like he had a new girl every week. I thought it was going to end up a category in our yearbook.

Most Girlfriends in a single year: Jude Hastings.

“Babe, your mother asked you a question.” His shoulder nudged mine, breaking me from my daze.

“I’m sorry, I was reading.” I looked between the demon and my mother. “What were you saying?”

“I was saying, sweetheart, that perhaps we should go out to dinner with the Hastings soon, all of us together to celebrate you and Jude finally getting over that childhood tiff of yours.”

“Yeah, sounds great.” I mumbled, picking up the champagne flute.

“Wonderful,” My mother clapped her hands excitedly. “I’ll call Francine.”

“She’ll be excited to hear from you.”

“How’s work, Jude?” My dad distracted Hastings, pulling him into a conversation, only this allowed Hastings to work his dark magic in seducing them into thinking he was a good person.

He wasn’t. No way.

As I listened to my parents both fawn over him, I had one goal in mind. Make him fall in love with me so hard I can watch him crash and burn in a flaming pit of fire, and I will go down in history as the one girl who broke Jude Hastings heart.

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