#what makes me more depressed - living in this rental or trying to buy a house

[skinnyblogsworld123]

I know that nobody reads these but here I go

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10/27/2022

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So I've been overeating lately a lot and I mean a lot. It's 5:18 in the evening right now. And I've ate chips and salsa and I've drank a rainbow machine smoothie and a watermelon aloe vera drink. And my stomach feels full already but it's like there's something else inside of me that just tells me that I need to eat more and it makes me f****** miserable. And I don't know how to stop it. It's like a never ending cycle and it makes me want to literally kill myself. And nobody understands how bad my eating disorder is because nobody really pays attention to that s*** anymore. They don't take our Eating Disorders seriously whether you're an anorexic or bulimic. And it makes me so angry because eating disorders are one of the world's most leading causes of death and depression. Along with a bunch of other things.

And we're being evicted from our apartment. Because my grandmother does know how to pay her f****** rent. We had this rental assistance helping us pay rent but she hadn't been checking up on that making sure that they were actually paying our rent. And so now we're Skyping money I'm using all of my paycheck to buy s*** for the house. And my fiance just got his job he's been working this is his second day now. I mean me and my fiance are only 19 years old and we're having to help my mother try and find a place as soon as we can. Because my grandmother sure as hell is not owning a house for we are all living in it because she already holds this apartment over our heads because she's the one who pays the rent on it and owns it. We don't. So now that we're being evicted because of her I'm pretty sure we have less than like 2 weeks to get all of our s*** moved out of here. And we don't even have a car anymore because the bottom ball joint on the front passenger side went out on me as I was driving and it skidded across the road and made white streaks across the black top. I mean guys I'm struggling so hard right now. To be honest all I care about right now is losing weight so that I can make myself feel better. I want to focus on myself and make sure that I have enough money to do what I want to do. I have $130 in savings right now and I hope that it stays there but if I have to use it then I will because situations have called for using money out of my savings but I have to be careful about transferring it because I only get certain amounts before they won't let me transfer it anymore. What I mean by transfer is that I have to take it out of my savings and put it back into my checking account through the app that my bank goes through. And right now my fiance doesn't get off work until 10:00 tonight so I got to figure out what I'm going to be doing. My mom is supposed to be back here before 6:00 because I have to go to urgent care so I can get a doctor's excuse for missing work today.

I mean f*** this is the most amount of struggle that I have had to deal with in a long while. I mean I'm already past 200 lb. I weigh like 240 pounds. And it f****** kills me of how fat I look and how fat I feel that all of my fat just Jiggles every time I walk or when my fiance tries to do the deed with me. And I can't get into it because I'm focused about how I look. It literally murders my soul inside out every single day. That I Can't Get Enough control to just stop. I mean I even told my mom to pick me up a burger from McDonald's. It's the Daily Double with no cheese add mustard and ketchup, because I'm lactose intolerant basically I have a milk allergy so I can't really have any dairy products which is really sad since I've drink milk my entire life. I honestly really f****** ate myself I feel like I could do so much better in life but if I wasn't so fat I feel like I could do so much more without being shy and I could be confident with myself and I can do what I need to do to get s*** done.

#ana trigger #tw ana relapse #tw ana vent #tw ed diet #tw edd #anor3x14 #fuckedupfamily #stressedth3fucout

[fingercinema2]

Small Business - Starting A Restaurant

DON'T be reluctant to complete a head foot inspection among the property. As previously stated, there surely are a lot of cases just where rent is low and since the apartment for rental is a dump. Everyone okay to rent a less than par place if recognize this going in; might be your . What you wouldn't want to do is locate a crappy apartment that demands a lot of repairs; repairs that weren't too visible at to begin with. A landlord who attempts to cover up these repairs or rent the establishment as-is likely isn't in order to be an individual that comes around often repair those topics. Consider a dump being advertised for rent as a prospective slum condominium. With today's economy in a depressing state, pre-construction flipping is more popular. When a pre-constructed property is closed on, and provided you can purchase it at an incredible price, you may either finish it and sell it, or flip because is. If you like a pre-sold home, the moment it is fully gone you may well then sell it or lease with way. DO recognise cheap rentals do be available. It is common for us to automatically assume that cheap apartment rentals aren't anything but a dump. Yes, some units are less than appealing; however, you should come across variety of of legitimate affordable units, rooms, and houses rented. For example, lets express that a little old lady is renting a room out. Is actually more seeking to have someone on the property or home with her for safety reasons in order to say create a profit. To do this reason, is actually likely to charge upkeep rental percentage. The possibility of selling examples of houses tend to be listed readily available are just around the corner from it can be of which means that NBA. Yet I frequently see vacant homes for sale sit out there for more than a year. I wonder who is able to buy them when functional indeed even priced in the ballpark in the other houses for sale. Yes, miracles do happen; I'm unsure that's a profitable business plan, in fact. And, if it is, why not aim higher and try the NBA thing? Time is of substance. If you're adjuster can't grow to your property for any days (or weeks in hurricane losses), and you ought to protect your property, you'll be able to carefully photograph the areas that a person protecting an individual cover them or alter them. That way, you've preserved proof of the injuries. Do a world-wide-web search for rabbit hutch plans you will probably lease for Television choose a lot internet sites that have several from them for expense. But you really don't need too a very good diagram, if you aren't building a sophisticated place to house-your-hare. Certainly want a secure and comfortable home to make the bunny, however in most cases you tend to be simply building a box with wire mesh as the front, sitting on some wooded legs. I stayed two weeks and then was written in context as doctors she could live a week or a couple of months or 1 year. I asked my mother if she wanted me to remain faithful to her. She told me to return home. https://chothuelaptop.info/cho-thue-tivi-man-hinh-lcd-uy-tin-chuyen-nghiep-tai-ha-noi/ I had already made arrangements if she should die and arrangements if she end up being moved into an assisted living local weather. I had stopped her apartment lease and cleared it. I had done everything I could, including visiting Lanie's, my father's, my grandmother's and aunt and uncle's plots. Oh, death was all around as I waited for that inevitable death of my mom, Sonia. Now to the adventure! I had a call come in the show this had a woman who was living in the bad place and wanted know if she could buy with a caring family to offer her children a significantly better place to exist. She did to not have a clue as to travel to about it, so I ask her a few general questions, like job, and demand.

#cho thuê tivi tại hà nội giá tốt

[tallblondasian]

Gloom and Doom Review

I know I usually only post about dating sims on here but I just finished playing a non-dating sim visual novel on Steam I wanted to recommend: it’s called Gloom and Doom. 

Trigger warnings for this game: contains talk of suicide, self-harm, abuse and has some scenes containing mild gore mentions and death

I thought this game looked interesting so I added it to my Steam Wishlist about a year ago before it was released. It came out in January 2021 and I didn’t remember it until Steam’s Halloween sale this year. I was going through my Wishlist to buy some games for cheap and got this one on a whim and I’m so glad I did.

If you like horror movies, 80s movie trivia, redemption arcs, or if you’re a clinically depressed nerd like me you would probably get something out of Gloom and Doom.

This game made me laugh out loud AND made me cry and that’s something few visual novels have achieved. I’ve played a lot of these types of games in my day but even though the art and plot of Gloom and Doom can be a bit wonky (the art style is kind of a sketchy and muddy comic book art type of deal) that just adds to its charm and makes it feel more heartfelt in my opinion.

The story: The year is 2000, and it’s just a few weeks before the new year. We are introduced to Gloom. Gloom is a fallen angel/wraith who is trying to get back into Heaven by killing demons that he is sent after by the archangel Michael. Michael comes to Gloom and tells him that he has one more kill for Gloom to complete and then he can finally return to Heaven.

Who is this last target? A 16-year-old depressed foster child named Wynona. Wynona works at a video rental store, cares for a stray dog, has no friends, and wants to die because she has horrible nightmares every night that tell her she’s going to end the world by becoming the “doom-bringer” (hence the game’s title: Gloom and Doom).

Oddly enough, Gloom doesn’t even have to go looking for Wynona, she hears a rumor about a ghost and mysterious disappearances happening in an old abandoned house in town and she shows right up at Gloom’s doorstep asking him to kill her to save the world. What follows is an adventure where (depending on your choices) Wynona and Gloom can either find a new reason to live and save the world, or bring its final destruction.

From this description you may think this game would totally be a downer and super-serious, but the tone is actually more of a dark comedy. Gloom and Wynona are both lonely nerds who are always dropping references to video games/movies/TV shows and the supporting cast of characters add a lot of levity and humor to what is in essence a super depressing story.

You can tell just from the writing that this was a labor of love by fellow nerds.

There are of course some moments that are more serious and reflect on the true meaning of happiness, the meaning of life, what it means to be a good person vs. just doing good things because it’s expected of you, all that good stuff, but at the story’s core it’s about the friendship between two sad people and how that friendship can inspire them to change for the better.

There are several endings in the game, both good and bad ones, but it’s pretty easy to get the good (true) ending. I got the canon good ending on my first try and had to purposely go out of my way to make bad choices to get the darker bad ending so if you’re someone who hates unhappy endings you shouldn’t worry.

This game also is pretty unique in the way it handles depression. I’ve had depression and been taking medication to manage it since I was 16 and I saw a lot of myself in Wynona (sadly I didn’t have a wraith best friend to help me find happiness but I guess playing this game at age 29 was better than nothing). The way the game deals with the issues of suicidal ideation, sadness, loneliness, and just the overall shittiness life can throw at you is very thoughtful and doesn’t feel overly preachy but at the same time doesn’t condone just staying in a rut and not helping yourself either.

Gloom and Doom is available to play on PC through the Steam store, it’s $19.99 and I think it’s worth the price (or just wait for a Steam sale to get it cheaper as I did). It took about 6 hours for me to complete my first run-through of the game and about 2-3 additional hours to go back and unlock the other endings and story achievements. 

#steam #gloom and doom #gloom and doom game #visual novel #review #don't ask me to proofread these things I'm done with school i REFUSE

[rizlowwritessortof]

Meant To Be - Chapter 2

Dean and Jordan are each trying to escape their painful pasts. Their chance meeting and a dangerous encounter begins a relationship that may give them both a new start.

Pairing: Police Detective Dean Winchester/Jordan Taylor

Word Count: 2050

Warnings: Abusive relationship and related violence, nothing graphic.

Aesthetic by @editsbymichele on Instagram; Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Dean pulled on his jeans and shoved his feet into his running shoes, then grabbed his gun, clipping his badge onto his waistband before heading outside.

Jordan’s car was engulfed in flames, and the sound of one of the windows exploding from the heat made him jump. “Fucking hell,” he muttered, his eyes scanning the area for any sign of Darrel. He had to be close, watching, probably waiting for Jordan to come out. He heard sirens in the distance as he doubled back and went around behind the building.

He moved quickly to the other end of the structure, peering through the darkness for a sign of his prey, then moved across to the backyard of the houses that lined the east side of the block. He moved carefully, almost silent, from one yard to the next until he spotted Darrel watching the fire from behind a tree near the corner house. As he drew closer, he could hear the man mumbling, “Come on, Jordan, where the hell are you?”

Dean stepped up behind him, pressing the muzzle of his gun against the base of his skull. “She’s in her room, right where I told her to stay, dickbag.”

“Man, who the fuck are you?” Darrel blurted out in frustration as he raised his hands.

“Well, for one thing, I’m a cop. And the local boys are on the way, so let’s go meet ‘em.”

“All I wanted was for her to come out, so we could talk.”

Dean snorted and shoved the gun against Darrel’s head, urging him along. “Social skills are really not your strong suit, are they, Darrel?”

Dean marched his reluctant prisoner back to the motel parking lot, holding his badge high as the police cruiser pulled in, followed by the fire department. The officers got out, guns drawn, and Dean shoved the gun into the back of Darrel’s neck again. “Move.” He tossed his badge to one officer, who examined it and handed it back. “This guy is your arsonist. He also assaulted the woman who owns this car earlier today and tried to abduct her. Sorry, don’t have my cuffs on me, so if you’d do the honors...” He gave Darrel a push, filling the officers in on the details as they cuffed the prisoner. As he finished with his report, Jordan flew by him in a furious blur.

“You son of a bitch!” She shouted into Darrel’s face, then rocked back and punched him square in the face with everything she had. The man howled in pain, blood spurting from his nose, and Dean grabbed Jordan’s arm, pulling her away.

“Fuckin’ bitch broke my nose!” Darrel yelled, as an officer, struggling not to laugh, pressed a wad of tissues to his face. “I wanna press charges!”

“For what? I didn’t see anything. You guys see anything?” Dean asked, unable to smother the grin on his face.

“Nope. Didn’t see a thing,” the arresting officer answered with a wink at Jordan. They walked Darrel over to the rescue squad, letting them staunch the bleeding before shoving him into the back seat of the cruiser. With a nod in Dean’s direction, they backed out and headed for the police station.  

As soon as they pulled away, Jordan bent over, groaning in pain, her hand shoved between her knees. “FUCK. Nobody ever told me how much that would hurt!”

Dean tried not to laugh as he reached for her injured hand. “Let me see.” He gave her hand a quick once-over, then put an arm around her shoulders and steered her back towards the room. “Nothing’s broken, at least. Come on, Sugar Ray. Let’s get some ice on it.”

He walked her around the fire truck and down to his room, ushering her in and seating her in a chair before heading to the bathroom for a towel and to the fridge for ice. She accepted the ice pack from him with a sheepish ‘Thank you’ and applied it, wincing. “I know, that was stupid. But damn, it felt good. For a minute, anyway.”

Dean laughed softly. “Yeah, I bet it did. He had it comin’.”

“So...” she glanced up, watching him pour more whiskey into cups for them both. “You didn’t tell me you were a cop.”

“You didn’t tell me you were an MMA fighter, either,” he joked, and she smiled, blushing.

“I’m not. I’ve never hit anybody before in my life.”

“Yeah, I get that,” he chuckled. “But you did a fan-fucking-tastic job of it.” He sat down across from her, sliding one of the drinks over her way.

She laughed softly. “Thanks.”

“Anyway, yeah – I’m a detective. Violent Crimes Division in Kansas City.”

“Oh. That sounds – dark.”

He geared back a little with a nod, a grim smirk on his lips. “Yeah. Sometimes,” he replied, downing a swallow of his whiskey. “So what do you do? Or did you do?”

“I worked for a local attorney. Small town, small office. Hated to leave him, he was a good boss, I’ve worked for him for years. But I needed to get the hell out of Dodge, you know?” She stared into her cup for a moment. “I don’t know what I’ll do now. My plan was to drive to Kansas City, find a cheap motel to live in until I found a job and a place to live. Can’t really drive anywhere now, thanks to that douchebag.”

“Law office, huh?”

“Yeah. I know, it sounds thrilling. But I ran the office, and I loved it. Just… finding something in the city is gonna be a lot different than working for someone I knew my whole life.”

They chatted for a while, until Jordan was yawning more than she was talking, the adrenaline gone and her exhaustion kicking in. Dean laughed softly, and she gave him a shy, sheepish smile. “Well, it is, what – 2:30 AM?? Are you kidding me?”

“Yeah, pretty late. Listen, why don’t you just crawl into the other bed and get some shut-eye. Tomorrow morning the local PD wants you to come in and give your statement, and then that’s hopefully the last you have to deal with Darrel.”

“God, I hope you’re right. But I don’t want to impose on your space...”

“Not imposing. I offered, and I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want you to. You’re barely keeping your eyes open, and we’ll both be asleep as soon as we hit our pillows.”

“Ok, I won’t argue.” Jordan stood and stretched, then headed for the extra bed, pulling the bedding back and slipping between the sheets with a sigh. Dean stopped in the doorway to the bathroom, looking over his shoulder at her.

“I’m gonna grab a quick shower. See you in the morning, Xena.” He flashed a grin and went in,  laughing as a pillow flew towards him, deflected by the quickly closed door.

Jordan fell asleep still smiling.

The next morning Dean was gone when she woke, squinting at the alarm clock next to the bed. It was only a little after 6 AM, but she dragged herself out of the warm cocoon of blankets and headed out the back door to her own room. After a shower and some clean clothes, she was feeling almost human, except for the nagging need for coffee. She was just figuring out the miniscule coffee maker in the kitchenette when a knock sounded at her front door. She peeked through the peephole, then smiled as she opened it to Dean, bearing two very large coffees.

“You are a saint,” she said gratefully as he handed her one of the steaming cups and set the other on the table.

“It’s been said,” he grinned, and she laughed. “I thought we’d have a primer, then head to Molly’s for some breakfast before we go down to the police station. If you want.”

“Oh, breakfast sounds amazing. I’ll bet Molly makes fantastic pancakes.”

“And bacon.” Dean’s eyes closed in pleasure at the thought. “Maybe a couple of eggs.”

“Ooooh, and hashbrowns!” She giggled, sipping at her coffee. “You’d think we didn’t stuff our faces with bacon cheeseburgers and fries last night.”

They took their time at Molly’s, eating their fill and lingering over their coffee, then drove to the police station late that morning. It took longer than Jordan had expected, but finally she was putting her signature to the documents and breathing a sigh of relief, hoping that chapter of her life was behind her at last.

Dean dropped her off at her room, and she spent the next couple of hours on the phone with her insurance company, grateful that they would pay for a tow company to haul her burned-out car to a junk yard. Buying a new vehicle would have to wait until she was back to work.

With that depressing thought, she flopped down on the bed and started sorting through the overwhelming List of Things To Do in her head. Get a rental car, find a cheap but hopefully safe hotel to stay in until she could afford an apartment, and, the biggie… FIND A JOB. In a new city, where she didn’t know her way around.

Her mind was still going in circles as she made more notes and chewed on her pencil, and her phone ringing made her jump. She saw Dean’s name and answered with a little laugh. “Hi, Dean.”

“You doing anything important right now?”

“Not really. Just trying to figure out what’s next for me. Haven’t been making much progress.”

“Well, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something. Can you come to my room? Sam’ll be showing up pretty soon, so I hate to leave.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be right over.”  

Dean was on his phone when he opened the door, and she walked in and took a seat at the table as he finished his conversation. “Okay, Sammy – see you in a while.” He grinned at her as he pulled out the chair across from her and plopped down.

“So, Dean, what’s up? There’s not a problem with the statement at the station or anything, is there?”

“No, nope, everything’s fine as far as I know. I just wanted to run something by you.”

She leaned back in her chair and looked at him, not sure what to expect. “Okay...”

“So, you’re headed to KC, right? That’s the plan?”

“Well, yeah – it was the plan before my car got torched. Now it’s getting more complicated.”

“Not really. It’s actually pretty simple. See, Sam and I are headed back there tomorrow morning. There’s no reason why you can’t just ride down with us.”

Jordan’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Why not? We live there, anyway, we’re all headed to the same place. If you want. I’m not trying to push you or anything, but – we’d be more than happy to give you a ride.”

“Is – I mean, would your brother be okay with that?”

“Okay, second thing. So, I told Sam about your former job. See, he’s an attorney, and he just lost his legal assistant about three weeks ago. He hasn’t been able to find anybody else yet, and he’s dying to meet you.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m serious.”

“Dean, I don’t know what to say… The only thing is, I’ll need to rent a car so I can look for a place to live temporarily until I have a steady paycheck.”

Dean grinned. “Third thing. Talked to Donna, my partner. She lives in a two-bedroom place, and she’s been talking about getting a roomie. Not that you’d have to commit to that, but she said you’d be welcome to stay with her until you got settled down there. Or stay on as her roommate if you like it there and decide you want to, whatever.” Jordan was staring at him with her mouth open, so he continued. “Look, I know I just dumped a whole load of stuff on you, you don’t have to answer this second, but the offer – well, offers – are on the table.”

She moved her gaze to the table top and blew out an overwhelmed breath. Tears were stinging at her eyes as she looked back up at him. “Dean Winchester, where have you been my whole life?”

Chapter 3

#meant to be #chapter 2 #dean fic #dean x oc #dean x jordan

[zhong-taro]

shotaro as a friendly ghost

 this is 2.8k words of shotaro and taeyong interacting and yes it’s all self-indulgent

tw: small mention of suicide, but it’s marked very clearly!

Ok so this is definitely part of a longer, more detailed AU that I’ll probably go into more later (like way later)

bUT let’s start here - Shotaro is a friendly ghost

Oh my g o d he’s such a sweetie you have no idea

When he dies, it’s something really dumb

He and his parents had moved to Korea after his father had sold his company and suddenly come into a significant amount of money 

It’s enough that they buy a large plot of land in Korea

Shotaro is about five years old when they buy the land and start construction on the house

It’s positioned at the top of a large hill that looked down over a small Korean town, and in the hot summers the house provided shade for a park, and when it rained the house blocked from too much flooding

Well, once it was finally built it did

It took five years for this absolute MANSION of a house to be built. Shotaro and his family had lived in a small rental home in the town, acquainting themselves with everyone and becoming established members of the community

When the place was finally finished, Shotaro was ten and the Osaki’s would have large gatherings of people at their home most weekends, with large parties every holidays

Originally, the family had built such a large home because they planned on taking in many foster children and helping to raise orphaned children

They never get to

The 1950’s were an absolute golden era for the Osakis, they’re loved by everyone around them and their perfect little boy Shotaro shines in Korea like he never had in Japan

Until in 1959, when they suffer great tragedy and the family is never the same again

Personally, Shotaro thinks he couldn’t have had a dumber death

He was nineteen and it was the night before the town dance contest. He was more than nervous - his parents had already been taking him out of town for dance lessons because he was too scared that the entire town would think he was bad at dancing, but now he was actually facing them

All of these people had known him since he was a toddler, he couldn’t handle the idea of all of them thinking he was bad at something he had found he loved

So he couldn’t sleep

And he had wandered downstairs, grabbing a cup of water and taking it back to his bedroom

However, he had tripped on the top step while going back to his bedroom and spilled water all over the hardwood floor

When he took the last step to try and clean up the spilled water, he slipped and fell down the stairs

Unfortunately, the Osaki parents woke up to a gruesome scene of their son dead at the entryway to their home

Shotaro thought he woke up, but when he stood up and his body didn’t stand with him, he knew something was wrong

And when his mother walked down the stairs (through him, mind you) and screamed, sobbing into his body, he realized that things might’ve been worse than he realized

It didn’t take long to figure out that he had died

(( tw // suicide for the next two bullet points ))

His parents couldn’t handle the pain

After his funeral, it took less than a month for both of his parents to commit suicide

Shotaro had been hoping that they would also become ghosts, but no such luck

So he was left alone, in a huge house that hadn’t seemed nearly as lonely only a month before

Of course he tried to leave, but he could never get past the gates that marked his parent’s property at the bottom of the hill

And so he sat in his house

For decades

Throughout the years, the house decayed and became decrepit. The chandelier fell one year, leaving glass scattered across the front entryway

Books became dusty, all but the ones in the library because Shotaro spent most of his time in that room and watched the days go by through the stories he would read

And when he opened up the windows on a nice spring day and leaned out, looking over the small town that he had loved so much, he heard the rumors

Tales of the haunted house at the top of the hill, told by a new generation of children who had never seen the Osaki home in its original glory

And Shotaro felt the repeating disappointment when a child would look into the windows, seem to spot him, and yelp before running away

So Shotaro becomes a recluse - not because he wanted to, but because he has to

After about 15 years, people start trying to sell the house

He doesn’t let that happen. Shotaro had become quite the… depressed person since his parents death. He had never really been given the opportunity to react to things as they happen. He’s always to put down the book and take a few deep breaths before continuing, or just walk away from the window when the rumors become too upsetting

But when that first person - a potbellied, middle aged man - comes to see the house in the interest of buying it, Shotaro sees red

And so he does what he thinks ghosts are supposed to do

He scares the man off

Years later he looks back and sees how bad of a ghost he was, but that just means that the guy must’ve been real cowardly

Because all he has to do is open a few windows, move around a few glasses, make some scary noises, and the guy is turning on his tail and sprinting out the door

More people come back - a family of three very wealthy foreigners who don’t speak the language, one rich old woman who decides the house would be too much upkeep six sons with two tired parents who decided there was too much room for trouble, and probably dozens more

The ones that don’t decide to move out on their own, Shotaro scares off

He gradually gets better at it - it’s hard to learn how to keep himself transparent at first

He thinks that he can become completely invisible, slightly translucent, or almost-solid but he’s never spoken to someone to figure it out

But as he watches the house crumble more and more around him, it gets more and more difficult to scare away the shoppers

He just wishes somebody other than pretentious jerks would come looking. He likes the original gothic architecture his parents designed, and he knows the house would be beautifully unique if somebody came along to restore it. But he’s not sure if he likes the idea of someone else coming into his house

Although he doesn’t have much of a choice after a while

The man comes along with the same real estate agent who’s been trying to sell Shotaro’s house for at least five years now

He’s pretty sure the woman knows he’s haunting the house, because she shoots glares into the empty air where he makes strange noises or moves furniture, but that sure doesn’t stop him from scaring all her clients away

When she steps in, she holds the open for a red haired man with a sharp jaw

He whistles as he looks around the large entryway, the noise echoing. He looks down at the large chandelier, still shattered on the marble floor, and raises one eyebrow at the agent

“What happened there?”

She shrugged. “I’m not sure. It’s been there ever since I started trying to sell this place.”

“Have you tried to have it cleaned?”

“Of course,” she looks a little insulted. “But the… ghost,” she glares into the empty air, across the room from where Shotaro is currently floating, “Seems to scare everyone off before they can get much done.”

The man smirks, turning away from her and looking around the entire room. He stands in silence for a few moments, scanning everything (Shotaro tries to ignore how nervous he feels when the man’s eyes briefly pause at his place at the old dining room table, but he tries a lot harder to not think about the point of his teeth)

“I’ll take it.”

The man shows up again the next day, and Shotaro is not happy about it

When he arrives, Shotaro is standing on the stairs and glaring at the front door

After unlocking the doors and stepping in, the red-haired man placed his hands firmly on his hips and smiled while looking around the room

“My name is Lee Taeyong.” the man announced loudly. The smile didn’t slip off of his face as the silence of the house continued. “I was born in 1995,” (how has that much time passed since he died?) “I’m a vampire, and I promise I will treat your home with respect.” 

Well. That’s interesting

But Shotaro chooses to gloss over the vampire thing and scoffs, storming up the stairs

The man - supposed vampire - doesn’t go into any rooms or even go upstairs on the first night. He just sleeps (pretends to sleep? Do vampires sleep? Are vampires even real? Shotaro stows all these thoughts away to deal with later) on the couch after ordering food in.

When he wakes up in the morning, Taeyong still has that obnoxious smile on as he looks around at nothing. Shotaro is there, watching and making sure the man doesn’t mess anything up

So when Taeyong fiddles at the dining room table, which only has three working legs and is almost broken in half, and asks the room “Would you be ok with me getting rid of this table?” Shotaro throws a glass at his head

He misses, intentionally obviously, and the old glass cup shatters against the peeling wallpaper of his dining room. Taeyong snorts and holds his hands up in surrender “Alright, no table. Hey, can you throw another glass if you’re a male ghost, please?”

Shotaro throws another glass, and once again ignores the point of the new man’s teeth

Later in the morning, early afternoon, Taeyong starts looking around the house.

“Are you  gonna try and kill me again if I go upstairs?” He asks, and Shotaro does nothing but cross his arms from where he’s sitting on the dusty banister

“I’ll take that as a no.”

And so they head upstairs. Taeyong stops in front of every doorway, and if Shotaro doesn’t want him going in the room he makes the door shake and bangs on the wall a few times

Taeyong doesn’t understand this message at first, and when he almost opens the door to Shotaro’s parent’s room he loses it

The ghost bangs on the door so hard the whole thing shakes, making what little art that was still hanging shudder. He yells for effect, coming out more of an angry groan (because he still can’t quite talk to humans when he’s invisible), and shoves Taeyong away from the door

The older (well, physically older) man looks shocked and stands still for a moment staring at the door, before shaking his hand and smiling a little. “Alright, I get the message Mr. Ghost.”

Shotaro only stops him again at his own bedroom door and his library, everywhere else he lets Taeyong explore. The vampire goes back to one of the guest rooms with an en suite and asks if he can keep this room as his own

Shotaro reluctantly lets him take the room, and tries to tell himself that this man is not going to be the one who ends up staying in his house

Again, the night Taeyong orders food in and eats on his own

Although before ordering the food, he grabs a box that had showed up on the front doorstep when Shotaro wasn’t looking

He floats around Taeyong as the other man carried the box to the only table not broken (a coffee table) and opens it with his unnaturally sharp nails. Shotaro’s nose crinkles at the bags of warm blood, and he reaches in to shift them around

“Animal blood,” Taeyong says quickly. “I promise I’m not a murderer, ghost friend.”

Shotaro has to look away as Taeyong drinks it, and gags for the first time since he’s died when he uses the animal blood as a topping for his burger and fries

The next morning, Shotaro comes out of his library after a night of reading and smells breakfast. When he goes downstairs, he’s greeted with Taeyong, dancing a little to a song playing out of a small metal box that Shotaro doesn’t understand and making breakfast

Shotaro peeks over Taeyong’s shoulder to see the bacon, eggs, and pancakes he’s making

He lets himself float up a little and pushes open the window open right above the counter

“Oh!” Taeyong looks up with wide eyes, looking around. “Hello, Mr. Ghost!” He smiles and his eyes pause where Shotaro floats before continuing to look around. “I’m not sure if you can eat, but if you can you’re welcome to some of the food.”

Shotaro can’t eat, but he appreciates the gesture

Through the next few days, they fall into a rhythm

Taeyong doesn’t seem to sleep, but meditates. He never goes fully unconscious but he does seem to float a little bit. Every other day the box of blood arrives and Taeyong drinks some with every meal, plus three full glasses throughout the rest of the day, and Shotaro learns to live with it

Shotaro won’t let Taeyong into only two rooms, but lets the vampire look around the rest of his home

They fight over a few things, like fixing different things up, but not much. Eventually Shotaro lets him buy new furniture and doesn’t object when the man adds a few new paintings to the walls

Shotaro finds himself thinking that maybe this one person (undead vampire?)  might not be so bad to live with - for now, at least

Shotaro walks into his library one day, about a month into living together, and finds Taeyong already there. He tries not to get angry, and feels a wave of emotions when he sees that Taeyong is staring up at the portrait of the Osaki family hanging between two large windows. He distantly notices that the man is sitting on the only section of couch without direct sunlight landing on it

He lets the door creak and close noisily as he steps inside, tries to will the wind from the open windows to grow a little colder as he floats next to where Taeyong is sitting

“Which one are you?”

Shotaro wishes he could respond, and looks around desperately for a way to show him

He grabs a dead flower from a large vase sitting on the end table and uses it to point to his face, the painted-him smiling slightly between his two parents and looking as awkward as he always felt in life

Taeyong sighs a little. “You must be so young…” He stares at where he must estimate Shotaro’s head is, judging by the floating flower, and smiles sadly. “I can’t believe the ghost haunting my house is a teenager.”

The painting rumbles a little as the wall shakes.

“Fine, sorry,” Taeyong chuckles a little. “Your house.”

Shotaro can see a shift in Taeyong’s behavior after that

The man seems to actively seek him out and starts talking to him more and more

He starts asking more questions - mostly things Shotaro can’t figure out how to answer - and becomes more joke-y with him

“Can I see you?”

Shotaro freezes from his perched position on a chair across from Taeyong.

“I don’t know if you even know how to show me what you look like, but I’ve been living here for 3 months, don’t you think it’d be more comfortable if I actually knew where you were?” Taeyong is looking at where Shotaro has his book propped up as he marks his page and puts it down

With very little effort, he wills himself into view. Not fully - he still isn’t sure he can even do that - but enough that his features are visible

Taeyong stares for a few moments before speaking

“You’re a baby.”

Shotaro gapes for a moment before laughing, a soft sound that sounds muted in his non corporeal form.

“You can’t be anything but a teenager, how old are you?” Taeyong’s surprised look has slipped off his face and now he looks more curious and excited.

“Well, physically 19,” Shotaro speaks slowly, trying to get used to the way his voice sounds - he hasn’t spoken much since his death. “But I died in 1959”

Aaaand Taeyong gapes again

“Holy crap, that was 50 years ago!”

Shotaro tilts his head to the side a little, thinking. “Really? Hmm, I didn’t realize it was so long ago.”

Taeyong smiles again, leaning forward as he pushes away his breakfast plate. “What’s your name, ghost-teenager?”

“Shotaro, Osaki Shotaro.”

“Nice to meet you Shotaro,” Taeyong grins at him, hair falling into his face. “I’m Taeyong.”

#WHY does everything look so much LONGER on google docs #this is 6.5 pages on google docs yet?? looks so short here???? #anYWAYS #nct #shotaro #osaki shotaro #taeyong #lee taeyong #my writing #headcanons #nct monster au #nct au #please be nice i'm sensitive!!!!!!

[inspriredlyuninspired]

The Stalker 

Part 6

Modern!Ivar x Curvy!Reader, Able-bodied! Ivar, Dark!Ivar 

Warnings: Depression, starving, sucidal thoughts. 

Summary: Y/n is stuck in her head about everything that happened, but still agrees to go on the trip with Ivar, she makes a shocking discovery about herself. 

Word count: 1,514 

Third Person POV

In the days leading up to the party Y/n barely moved out of bed, in the meantime Ivar prepared them both to leave. He has had two plane tickets ready since the party was announced. 

He got her a new dress, shoes, makeup or anything she ever could have wanted, he wasn’t trying to buy her love. But it sure as hell looked that way. 

“Little dove, please eat. You haven’t eaten in three days.”

“no thanks, im not hungry.” her voice was small and fragile. 

The past few days, her mental health had rapidly been declining. She was headed back to the darkest period of her life, and she felt as though she couldn't stop it. It broke Ivar’s heart seeing her like this. She had no energy or motivation to get out of bed. He could not get her to eat, he would listen to her quietly sob while he laid next ot her in bed. The worst part is it was all his fault, he had caused this. 

Her head was filled with vile thoughts. 

‘everyone that walks into your life makes you worse then you were before’

‘no one truly loves you, they all want you for something and will drop you the second they’re done with you’

‘Mom and Dad didnt even care you left in the middle of the night, and now you’re stuck with the guy who stalked you’

‘he doesn’t care about you at all, thats why he trapped you here’

She couldn’t get the voices to stop. She thought at this point she would be better off dead, she would never find happiness in her life, she would never find someone that would truly love and cherish her. She thought this was her happily ever after, but it was her worst nightmare. 

“Little dove, please sit up” she obliged, she had only been out of bed to go to the bathroom and shower. She sat up and Ivar gently held a spoon to her mouth. She opened her mouth and began to slurp the soup off the spoon. 

He could have been hand feeding her poison and she would not of cared.

But it wasnt, it was broccolli cheddar soup, from her favorite restaurant downtown. She had never told him how much she loved it, he knew, from when he stalked her. Just thinking of that made her shiver away and a tear to roll down her cheek.

Seeing her cry saw made his heart shatter into a million pieces. 

“Little dove please, we need to talk.” 

“About what?” her voice cracked slightly.

“everything, i know you dont trust me and you have no reason to, i know what i did was terrible. I should have asked you out when i saw you that first day. I just thought you would never like a guy like me.”

“What do you mean a guy like you?” “im weird, im a nerd. I dont talk to anyone. I live in a house in the middle of the woods because im secluded, people hated with me growing up, even my own father hated me. I have only ever had one person in my life love me unconditionally and she isn’t here anymore. I am a man with a lot of baggage and a lot of hurt. I didn’t think you wanted to deal with it.” 

Her eyed softened, he was broken. Just like her. 

She sat up a little straighter and put her hand gently on his. This action shocked him. 

“ivar, i have a lot of baggage, but you still wanted me. It still shocks be everyday that you wanted me as much as you did-”

“i still want you, i want to protect you.” “you dont always have to protect everyone else, sometimes you need to be protected yourself.” 

“y/n, i love you. I would do anything to have you love me back. I understand how desperate that sounds too.” he chuckled slightly at himself.

“Ivar i told you im starting to fall in love with you. I love being around you, those days where you were yourself arond me, you mesmorized me. You intrigued me, you made want to learn every single little quirk about you. I agreed to go on this trip with you to see if i could get over what happened.” 

“seeing you these part few days hurt my heart, and knowing it was my fault i couldnt believe myself.” 

“my thoughts took over and im sorry, it wasn’t fair to you.” 

“no please do not apologize, it was my fault. what thoughts were you struggling with?” 

“the thought that no one in my life will truly love me and that the world would be better if i wasnt in it.” before she could finish his arms were wrapped aournd her, holding her tight to his chest. 

“i need you here, you make my world so much brighter.” he whispered in her ear softly. 

*12 hours later* 

“ivar im sleepy”

“i know love you can sleep on the plane.” Ivar kissed her head that was leaning gently on his shoulder as they stood in the line for security in the airport. 

When it was time for them to board their flight Ivar watched Y/n’s eyes light up

“excited to fly baby?”

“no i excited to go to sleep!” Her voice sounded like a childs, it made him giggle. 

“First class now boarding.” came over the loud speaker. Y/n didn’t move, she was waiting until the announcement for coach seating came. 

But she felt Ivar tugging on her hand, she gave him a confused look. 

“oh Little Dove, you didn’t think that i would give you anything less than the best.” 

Now, Y/n knew Ivar had money. Not just money, but like money money. SHe was still shocked. They were led to their seats, or rather their beds. 

“These are full beds!” Y/n exclaimed. Ivar giggled and sat down and held her hand. 

“now you can get your sleep, beauitful.” Y/n climbed into her side and she put down the divider between them. Ivar got comfortable on his side, not pushing his luck trying to hold her.

But he felt Y/n curl into his side, he felt her breathing steady he knew that she was drifiting off to sleep. 

He held her close as they lifted off into the air, he fell asleep holding his girl for the long plane ride they had ahead. 

Once the plane had landed y/n felt more awake and energized then she had in a couple days. Seeing her so full of life made Ivar’s heart melt. 

His rental car was waiting for them at the airport, of course he couldnt just get a normal car. A BMW, very similar to the one he owned back in the states was there ready for him. He of course opened the door for Y/n and wouldnt let her help pack the car.

Once they were on the road, Y/n looked mesmerized as she watched the Danish countrside pass by. She loved seeing the transition of the quiant countryside to the city. 

When they pulled up to the hotel Y/n was again shocked at how beautiful it is, she couldn’t even begin to think about how much he had spent. Vallet and bell hops came to take the bags and move the car. 

Y/n grabbed Ivar’s hand which shocked him, but he was not complaining. they walked into the lavish lobby and were immediately greeted. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Ragnarson, your room is ready.” The man handed Ivar the room key and shook his hand. Ivar guided her over to the elevator and said 

“sorry about that, i booked the honeymoon suite” he blushed slightly, he didnt want to admit that to y/n but he was forced to. 

“no its okay it was cute, why did you book that one?” 

“it has the most beautiful veiw, not only did i want you to see it but i wanted to expirence it with you.” the blush on his cheeks made y/n’s heart burst. She was falling hard for him, and was slowly getting over everthing that had happened. 

As ivar opened the door to the room, the floor to ceiling windows were the first thing she saw. Her mouth hung wide open, the sun was setting and the lights were beginning to flick on all over the city. Y/n slowly walked over to window and just watched in amazement. 

Ivar walked over and wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his chin on top of her head. 

“this is the most beautiful view i have ever seen” Y/n whispered. 

“You are the most beautiful veiw i have ever seen” Ivar whispered back to her. 

This was the moment she knew she was not getting over him. 

to be continued.. 

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius​ @lostgirl14480​ @artsyle​

#dark!ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar x reader #modern!ivar #modern!vikings #vikings ivar #alex h?gh andersen #alex h?gh andersen fluff #alex h?gh x reader