#what is this I’m lauging I can’t believe this is real

[wallflowerimagines]

Hi! I looove your posts! Thank you so much for sharing your writing!

I was wondering… could you maybe write about the Four Lords with a shy S/O that gets bold and defensive when someone insults the lords? or calls them names? And the Lord’s reaction to the S/O acting different? Dk if im explaining myself >.<

Again! Love your work! Have a great day!

We stan protective partners on this blog!!

Warnings: uh...insults? They're pretty over the top😅 Also swearing.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Honestly, Alcina is more than able to defend herself.

She's got a tongue like a viper, and the thickest skin imaginable. If you really want to hurt her feelings, you have to be someone whom she already respects to a certain degree, or she won't even be phased.

Still, when she leaves a room, there's always some idiot that thinks it's a smart idea to talk shit.

Maybe it's a maid, maybe it's a guest in the Castle, but either way you're not having it.

"God, you're annoying." There was a pause before they opened their mouth again, and you rolled your eyes. "No please, by all means, continue to share your lack of taste with the rest of us."

You disassemble this dumbass, starting small with comments about their personality (trying to keep it classy), but escalating the more they choose to double down on the comments.

Alcina comes back into the room to find you practically screaming at this asshole.

"Look, all you have accomplished here today is revealing that you are a fundamental disappointment on every possible level. My life is worse now that I've heard you open your mouth, you disrespectful, shit licking worm fucker."

Alcina is stunned. You do not give off "aggressive guard dog" vibes at all, yet here you are defending her tooth and nail. While she had seen brief moments of your inner strength and protective streak (mostly towards her daughters) she just...never thought you would do the same for her.

It's not because she doesn't trust you or love you! But nobody has ever done something like this for her before? Ever? She's never had anyone try to protect her--not physically, and not even verbally. She's been so independent for so long that it's... Strange to see you support her so openly.

She doesn't need you to do this for her, she doesn't even expect it, but you do it anyway for no other reason than the fact that you love her. You want people to give her the respect she deserves.

I'm going to be real here: Alcina has never been closer to swooning before in her life. You're overcoming your shyness because you believe in her so much-- it's not a gesture meant to be romantic, but Alcina can't help but see this as a massive statement of your commitment to her.

Seriously. This is such a massive thing for her that if proposals weren't already on her mind, she is mentally picking out a ring for you the minute this happens.

Then, of course, she glides into the room, kisses you until you're breathless and babbling, and smirks at the unfortunate peon who thought they could get away with insulting House Dimitrescu.

She's in such a good mood that she's considering going easy on the idiot. Maybe removing their tongue would be enough of a warning?

Donna Dimitrescu

You don't really know how it's possible but apparently some people don't like Donna Beneviento? Some people think she's scary and unpleasant????

Wild. Can't imagine what that's like.

The two of you are honestly the sweetest, most toothrottingly adorable couple-- blushing when you hold each other's hands, sneaking glances at each other across rooms, giving each other kisses and forgetting whatever was on your mind...

Honestly, anybody who's critical of your relationship with your girlfriend is just a hater. Fuckers can pound sand😤

Still, you are pretty shy, so it takes a lot for you to defend yourself if someone comments about you. It can take a lot of courage to stand up against rude remarks, and sometimes it's easier to walk away.

Defending Donna, on the other hand?

The minute someone even thinks about dismissing her, you are ready to throw hands.

"My lovely girlfriend already said no, meaning you're either deaf or too stupid to pick up on simple social cues," you purse your lips and give the rude and pushy Villager a patronizing once over. "You and your opinion are equally useless. Get the fuck away from us."

Donna blinks.

She... Was not expecting this??? At all?? You're so nice! You always tell her about your attempts to avoid confrontation! What's going on??? How did you get the guts to say what she's always wanted to say?

Meanwhile, Angie is LIVING.

The little doll chimes in to assist you with the verbal homicide, working as a tag team to absolutely murder this moron. She's half partner, half hype man, and is so excited to do this with you. Normally, she has to protect Donna all by herself, but she's relieved and reassured that you stepped in first.

'USELESS IS TOO NICE, THOUGH! THAT IMPLIES THEY AREN'T A POINTLESS, RANCID, LONELY FREAK. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY CRY WHEN THEY MASTURBATE.'

You high five Angie, still glaring daggers at the unfortunate villager.

The two of you continue to ream into the villager, while Donna hovers nearby.

As surprised as she is, she's also grateful. She's only really ever had Angie to help shield her from insults and disrespect (and occasionally inducing horrifying hallucinations that make people claw off their own skin), but having you in her corner makes her feel safe.

Not to get totally sappy, but you're like her knight in shining armor in a lot of ways. And the fact you two are so similar is really motivating-- She wants to one day be confident enough to return the favor. Until then, she's happy to watch her two favorite people have fun insulting some stranger ❤️

Salvatore Moreau

With you being so shy, Salvatore is surprised how often he takes the lead in your relationship.

He's not normally all that outgoing, but you seem to bring out a side of him that's very protective. Whenever you have a bad day he wants to bundle you up and keep you safe from the world.

If he so much as holds your hand you start stuttering and avert your gaze. It creates a feedback loop where you both get flustered, but Moreau has never felt steadier. Despite your shyness, you make sure he knows how much you love him.

You're sweet as pie and twice as kind--Salvatore is the luckiest man in the world, nobody can convince him otherwise 💕💕

So it comes as a total shock that when a passing fisherman spits in your path and calls him a freak, your entire demeanor does a 180.

Your posture straightens and you look the villager dead in the eye, "I don't believe anyone asked your opinion."

Salvatore: 😳

This is not the time, and he totally knows it, but, uh, something about your tone??? Really does it for him???

While he's attempting to process why exactly he's starting to short circuit, you proceed to verbally shred this person to bits with clinical efficiency-- nothing is off limits.

They might try to defend themselves, but it's useless. You do not let up.

"Ugly? Monster? Bitch your teeth are throwing gang signs, don't throw stones from your shining glass house."

You insult their appearance, what they're holding, their smell-- you get so fucking mean that you might even make them cry.

Moreau is just lost right now, trying hard to figure out how exactly you were able to gain all of this confidence so quickly.

He's not upset! In fact he's very flattered! But, he also doesn't want you to get into a fight with some unimportant stranger. (After all, if they so much as throw a punch, they're straight up dead. Moreau is a patient man, but he's not that patient. You do not hurt his partner and live to tell the tale.)

He may a healer but...

Eventually he steps between you and the fisherman in an attempt to deescalate the situation, but you just kiss him on the cheek and step around him, determined to make your point.

Blushing hard, Moreau lets you do what you want. What can he say? Fish man likes himself a protective partner 💞

Karl Heisenberg

Magnet Man is not the most social guy to begin with, so any opportunities you have to stick up for him are already pretty slim.

He mostly knows you as the shy, sweet, easily flustered partner that lets out a cute squeak every time he sneaks up to hug you from behind.

Karl's honestly happy just to spend time with you all alone in the Factory. It's not the best or healthiest mindset, but he'd be perfectly content to only ever see you for the rest of his life. Spending time with anybody else feels like a boring waste in comparison.

But occasionally, you do head out into town with him. Heisenberg wants you to be safe so he doesn't do it often, but running errands with you is a weakness of his. It's domestic in a way that he's never experienced before.

He likes it ❤️

What he does not like is the shopkeeper starting to give their opinions on the quality of your relationship with him.

Most insults Karl will let slide because he doesn't particularly care. However if anyone makes a comment on how scared (shy) you look around him, how you must be being threatened into being with him, how poorly Lord Heisenberg is treating you...he won't stand for it.

But before his fingers can even twitch towards his hammer, you snap.

"You're clearly the blindest cocksucker I've ever met--so wipe the cum out of eyes and mind your own fucking business."

Karl does a double take.

He's heard you curse before, but quietly. The words coming out of your mouth are WILD right now, he has NEVER seen you so angry. You're defending him with the aggression of a wild animal, and it's simultaneously HILARIOUS, but for some reason he's also getting a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest?

He doesn't need you to protect him like this, but seeing you blatantly argue how much you love and cherish him in public reassures him in a way he didn't know he needed.

Still, hearing you call the shopkeeper "shit for brains" is the funniest thing that's happened in years.

Heisenberg starts laughing, and the more you shout at the idiot, the harder he laughs. Is it weird how hard he wants to kiss you right now?

Eventually, he just has to drag you away, cackling as you continue to shout insults at the unfortunate shopkeep. There's got to be an alley around here for some good old fashioned privacy 💕

#lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #salvatore moreau x reader #karl heisenburg x reader #resident evil village #re8 #resident evil 8 #resident evil #alcina dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #angie beneviento #karl heisenberg #angie the doll #swearing #insults

[barnibumblr]

Coffee Run - Part One

Pairing: Ina x Bea

Summary: Tensions are high after Bea is paired with Poppy on a project.

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, but mostly fluff!

Word count: 2045

Tagging: @ikingsley @kaitlynliaofanxx @kwaj115 @sheepmomther-personal @swimmingshoebakerydreamer @domakir @veenast @hellyeah90sbaby

***

“How do I look?”, Bea asked, walking into the common area like it was her own personal catwalk. Arms in the air, the brunette paused ahead of the kitchen island, adding a twirl for flair. Hiding her mouthful, Zoey threw her an exaggerated wink whilst she finished chewing her food. “Twit twoo Babe! You look pure fire!” She reached out to touch Bea, hissing and pulling her hand away at the ‘burn’.

When their laughter died down, Zoey shot a look at her watch “oh shit Bea, you’ve got five minutes to get across campus! And we both know this is a class you do not want to be late for”. Bea ran over to the door, slipping on her shoes and throwing her bag over her shoulder. The girl was right though, every minute Bea was late, was one less minute she could spend observing her beloved professor. As she stood up, Zoey was already holding the door open, half a slice of toast in the other hand. Bea rushed past, stopping to steal the toast with her teeth and leaving before her roommate could stop her.

Zoey stepped out into the corridor behind her, “yeah have my toast Bea, what’s mine is yours!” she called out across the bustling hallway. “Oh and say hi to Ms Candice for me” she added, purposely poking for a reaction. Shaking her head, Bea spun around to blow her second favourite New Yorker a kiss. Still moving with the crowd, she turned again to face the direction she was heading, trying to ignore the somersaults in her stomach as she recalled the impromptu book club reading with Ina. ‘I can’t believe I actually straddled my professor’ she taunted herself, mentally facepalming at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.

Bea hurried her steps as she crossed the quad. All jokes aside, she was still desperately trying to impress Ina as her newly appointed TA and being late would not help her case. She was relieved to say the least, when she entered the lecture hall and the Professor was still unpacking her laptop.

The relief was short lived when she glanced around the room and found the only free seat was beside Chloe St James. Bea grunted under her breath, ‘great, just great’ she thought before taking her place next to the blonde. Her behind had barely touched the chair when Chloe threw her first look of disgust, “do you have to Hughes? My day was going just fine”. Bea narrowed her eyes, “it’s not exactly my first choice either Chloe, so how about we both just pretend I’m not really here?”. Along with her retort, she produced the most sarcastic and insincere smile she could summon.

“I’ve got a better idea” Chloe countered, “how about I act like you don’t exist?”. Bea paused, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, all while Chloe stared at her like she was the stupid one.

Ina cleared her throat pointedly and quiet swept across the room, immediately drawing Bea’s attention back to the front. She couldn’t help but think how incredibly sexy it was to watch Ina command the room, how easily she captured everyone’s interest and just kept it.

“Okay, so today we will be heading in a slightly different direction, a bit of a change from the last four weeks. We are going to start covering some elements of linguistic anthropology. I’ve got a short presentation to run through, you’ll have some time to note your key points, and then I would like to open the subject up to debate”.

The professor was just about to continue when a voice called out from the back, “are we going to mass debate Miss Kingsley?”. Ina rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Real smooth Craig. Tell me, how long have you been waiting to use that one?” she challenged. For a guy easily clearing 6ft, Craig almost disappeared in his chair. “Oh and it’s Professor Kingsley, thank you” she added as she launched her powerpoint.

“If everyone could please take out your textbooks and find page 356”, Ina instructed. Whilst everyone started to shuffle and organise themselves, Bea watched how Ina seemed to be searching the room. When her gaze finally settled on Bea, her eyes softened and a small smile graced her lips before she looked away. The eye contact was brief, but long enough for Bea to know Ina had just found what she was looking for.

The class were set to work after the presentation and Bea busied herself, trying her damnedest not to keep staring at the perfect specimen of a woman, currently seated on her desk at the front of the class. Bea’s swooning was cut short when she realised the sniggering she could hear was coming from beside her.

When Ina had finally agreed for Bea to be her TA, it was on the understanding that no drama would be brought into her classroom. It was for that reason Bea inhaled slowly as she turned to the blonde beside her, internally begging for patience. “Can I help you Chloe?” She asked, keeping her tone as neutral as humanly possible. The eye roll she received in reply was already pushing her to the limit, “I don’t know Farmsville, can you?”. Chloe’s tone dripped sarcasm, it took everything Bea had in her not to flip her desk there and then, instead she just calmly replied. “Chloe, if you have something to say, just come out and say it already?”.

Before Chloe could respond, Bea already regretted asking. People in the row in front started to turn their way, aware that it could go off any minute now, some with their phones at the ready.

“Well Bea, I actually wanted to ask you what perfume you were wearing?”, Chloe paused with her hand over her mouth but the brunette wasn’t about to answer. Bea clamped her jaw tightly shut, the muscles twitching in an effort to keep her cool. To make matters worse, Bea could see Ina now watching over her glasses. “Let me guess, is it pig de eurghhh? Chloe laughed excessively, looking over each shoulder to bask in the glory of her own joke.

‘Okay that was actually pretty funny’ Bea thought, taking a moment to appreciate Chloe’s attempt before correcting her. Remembering her voice, she kept it low as she spoke. “I think you meant Eau de Pig, but you know what Chloe… I’m just impressed you came up with that all by yourself!” Bea appraised.

The blonde’s eyes screwed up so tight they almost closed, Bea knew whatever was coming next would be spiteful. Thankfully Ina’s voice rang out across the classroom, “is there a problem ladies?”. Chloe plastered on a well rehearsed smile before responding. “Not now thank you professor, I was just trying to help Bea”, still facing forward her smile dropped to something resembling false pity. “It smells really bad up here, so I was just suggesting she shower more often… To wash away all the pig poo”. As she finished, she gestured at Bea, screwing her nose up.

“That’s quite enough Ms St James. I will absolutely not tolerate any attempt of bullying during my lectures, thank you” Ina reprimanded, her tone much firmer than the class had ever seen. Having Ina defend her should have been everything Bea wanted but instead she covered her face with her hand, trying to hide the embarrassment flooding her cheeks. ‘Oh great’ she thought, ‘ now everyone thinks I’m being bullied’.

Chloe sat back in her seat looking like the cat that got the cream. “See Farmsville, you don’t belong here. Belvoire is a way of life, you can’t just buy your way in and be accepted”. Bea was starting to wonder if Chloe had a point, was she in over her head? “I’m surprised Kingsley even offered you the TA position, I mean what does she even see in you? Maybe she just feels sorry for you, yeah that’s probably it”.

That was the final straw. Bea slammed her laptop closed and started to make her way towards the exit.

“Ms Hughes, is everything okay?” Ina asked, her brows furrowed in concern as Bea raced past her. Bea could only wave her away as the tears prickling her eyes threatened to fall. Ina followed her out into the hall, once she was clear of the classroom she called out to the brunette, who hadn’t even looked back. “Bea? Please stop, are you okay?”.

Ina was relieved when Bea finally halted at the end of the corridor, chasing her across campus would certainly arouse some unwanted attention. Keeping her back to the professor, Bea sighed “I just need to be alone Ina”. And with that she was gone, leaving Ina behind.

Later that afternoon, Bea was still hiding in her bed when her phone pinged.

———————————————————-

1 New Email

From: [email protected]

Afternoon Ms Hughes.

Sorry to contact you on such short notice, however I require your assistance as a matter of urgency. If you are available this evening, please could you stop by my office. My evening lecture will be finished at 19:30, so I can meet you there shortly after.

Best,

Professor Ina Kingsley

————————————————————

By the time Bea needed to leave, the campus was fairly quiet, only the odd student passing here and there. Bea wasn’t sure what she would say when she got to Ina’s office, she just knew she needed to apologise. Although she felt bad for walking away from Ina that morning, the last thing she wanted was for her to see just how much Belvoire was really affecting her.

When she arrived the door was already slightly ajar. Bea peered around it, to find the professor sitting in one of the armchairs. Ina hadn’t noticed her yet, so she took the liberty of just watching her for a moment, absorbing her beauty.

The older woman was sat back in her chair, one hand in her lap, the other propping up her chin on the arm of the chair. She seemed to be deep in thought as she stared out the office window, so Bea approached her slowly. At first Ina appeared perfectly still, but as she got closer, Bea could see her furiously jigging her leg. Ina’s aura of calm was not quite reflected from the waist down.

Despite the slow approach, Ina still startled when her visitor came into view. “Oh, Bea!” she laughed nervously, hand to her chest. Bea awkwardly returned a smile as she took the other seat, “Ina, I…” she started. Ina leant forward to listen, her elbows now resting on her knees. Opening her mouth to talk, Bea didn’t quite know where to begin or how to excuse her behaviour, instead her eyes dropped to the floor.

Sensing Bea’s discomfort, Ina knew it was time to put her plan into action. “Right” she said, standing up and straightening out her skirt. Bea watched her move across the room, waiting for the wholesome stack of quizzes she thought were coming her way. Instead Ina picked up and put on her coat.

“We’ve got a lot to get through, so I was thinking we could go grab a coffee first?” she asked, untucking her hair from the collar.

“Are you sure another date’s a good idea?” Bea questioned with a smirk. Although she was upset, she still had it in her to make the other woman blush and she got exactly the response she was going for. Ina grinned, shaking her head at the floor as the tips of her ears turned red.

Ina paused at the door, openly pondering. “I’m not sure of much when it comes to you Bea, but… What I do know is that coffee is never a bad idea”.

Regardless of how bad her day had been, Bea loved how she could bring Ina’s walls down, even if only temporarily. “You’re not really selling it to me, Ina” she teased.

“Miss Hughes, please will you allow me the pleasure of your company and join me on a brief walk to the coffee shop?”. Despite the flutter she felt in her stomach, Bea laughed at Ina’s formality. She made her way to the door, giggling again as the professor held it open with a bow.

***

#ina kingsley #ina x mc #professor kingsley #bea hughes #zoey wade #chloe st james #queen b #choices queen b #choices qb #playchoices #fanfiction #myfanfiction #fluff

[hacked-by-jake]

𝐈'𝐦 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Summary: The first time you all meet. It’s no secret that Jake and Phil don't like each other, but no one expected it to end this way.

Pairing: Jealous!JakexMC

Preview:  "Of course you’re right. A life with a bar owner in a small town is much more exciting than a life with a wanted and one of the best hackers in the country" Jake sneers. You like Phil, but he’s not Jake. You fell in love with him because he’s him, and damn it, running away with Jake is stupid but sounds like a lot of suspense in hotel rooms. "What’s your problem?" Phil asks hissing. "My problem is how you look at my girl" Jake replies with equal resentment and raises your folded hands to put them on the table for everyone to see. "All of a sudden, you’re a couple?"

--

Words: 6,9k

A/n:  Hi guys, back with a new story. Everbyte gave me the perfect template for my favorite Jake, jealous Jake. Please excuse the mistakes as always.Sometimes I am insecure with myself, so can we pretend they are not there? lol. I hope you can understand everything, have fun and you like it! #IamJake ❤️🌹🎭

⚠️"I’m better than you" will remain a oneshot and won't get another part!

Tomorrow the cancelled forest search should be done. You sit next to Jake in the passenger seat and look out the window and watch trees and houses pull past you.

That Jake is back, the others in the group know, but they don’t know he’s coming to the search. You and Jake found out that you only lived two hours away from each other so you took the train to him and together you now drive towards Duskwood.

When you told Jake you were going there, he didn’t say he wanted to come too. When you told him you agreed to spend the first night at Jessy’s brother’s bar, he suddenly thought it would be the best solution if he came with us. First he asked why you all want to meet in the Aurora. You told him you were doing this to get to know each other better. You know each other through writing and pictures and phone calls but the first meeting in real life is still a little different. So you agreed to meet there and have a nice evening. And for some reason, all of a sudden, Jake wanted to come too. Thanks to the action #IamJake, the pursuers of Jake could no longer track him down.It just caused too much confusion. Jake was of the opinion that because the others from the group also helped him, he should also be in the search for Hannah. You promised him he wouldn’t regret it. But you didn’t believe his pretext, but you don’t know the real reason he really wanted to come. And now you are sitting together in the car and the "Welcome to Duskwood" sign at the entrance of the city appears a few meters in front of you. You start smiling as you see it and look excited to Jake. He turns his head to you and gives you a little smile. "Are you happy to see your friends?" he asks and looks back at the street. "Yeah, I’m looking forward to seeing OUR friends, Jake," you answered and giggled. They’re his friends too. Both sides are still a little skeptical but they are also his friends. And if they don’t be in this moment, I’m sure they will. "At the moment there seems to be more going on at the motel" you explain to Jake as he drives to the parking lot in front of it. Lilly has told us that there have been very few people staying here lately, but fortunately it is getting more and more again. The situation in Duskwood is calming down again. People don’t think so much about the body has been found in the woods of their home city anymore. Luckily, nothing bad happened since then. Jessy’s brother said that the bar has more guests and more people going out again, which is a good sign. The man without a face must not manage to plunge an entire city into fear and terror. Jake parks his car near the entrance and shuts down the engine. "Ready?" you ask him. He nods his head and buckles up. You do it like him, and together you get out of the car. You didn’t tell anyone except Lilly that Jake was coming too. Why you told Lilly? Point 1: The situation would be very strange if the two would suddenly stand in front of each other without warning. Point 2: Lilly told you she owed you a favor because of the video she made. You actually told her it wasn't necessary, but she said that she will redeem it when you are in Duskwood. Next to each other, you and Jake walk through the front door of the Motel. At the reception Lilly is standing waving as she sees you. "Hi Lilly" you said. She comes up behind the counter and walks up to you. "Hi MC I’m glad you’re here" she grins wide. "I’m happy too" you giggle. You two break up. Jake stands a little off and watches you two. "Um, so, Jake, this is Lilly. Lilly, I’d like to introduce Jake".   They both say "hi" at the same time. Lilly went back right behind the counter. "So your room is number 22 on the second floor.It is not far from the elevator.In the room you will find all the information you need. Like when dinner starts and stuff like that. If anything wrong, I’ll be down here and help, "she explains. "Just one room?" asks Jake. You look at Lilly and pull up an eyebrow. You took care of the rooms and booked two. "Yes, I’m sorry, something went wrong with your booking and now we have no rooms available.Only one I can give you. I’m really sorry, I hope that’s not a problem," she explains. You look at her confused. "But there aren’t nearly enough cars outside?" Jake asks skeptically. "Yes, most of them have all gone away.Today the weather is nice, you can go swimming or shopping in the city center" "Is that a problem for you?" you ask Jake. Briefly he does nothing at all but then shakes his head. "Okay great, and I’m sorry again for the circumstances.Have a nice stay, see you in 3 hours at the latest." Jake has been walking slowly while Lilly gives you the room key. She winks at you, and now you understand that she lied. You have to holding back a laug and turn around quickly to follow Jake. "Is this really not a problem for you?" you ask again as you enter the elevator. "No problem, we can do this" he mutters. You have to giggle. "We can do this" you repeat his sentence. "You’re kidding about me again," he notes. "Oops" is your hypocritical answer. A "pling" sounds and the door opens. Together you’ll find your room. Excited you open the door and enter the room. It’s small but cozy. The walls have a soft color. A double bed is on the wall. Next to it is a bedside table with a small lamp. Opposite it is a table with two chairs and a TV hanging on the wall. "It’s beautiful here," you say and close the door. Jake agrees with you. In three hours, the meeting will take place. In between you talk about unimportant things or about the search, or new information in your case. After a while, you get up to get ready for the meeting in the bathroom. When you stand in front of the mirror, you look at yourself. You’re in Duskwood with Jake, the hacker boy who that drives you crazy, where you are excited all the time and your heart beats faster, and and with whom you will share a bed for the next few days. You’ve never seen him before, today is the first time and when you got in his car, you had half a heart attack. He’s pretty, not just pretty, but hot as hell. Just the type of man you prefer. "Thank you, Lilly! Thank you for doing this!" you mumble. "Did you say something?" you hear Jake calling. "Uh oh no, no all good" you answer quickly. You put on a little makeup and think about how to dress. At first, you thought about putting on a pair of jeans and a sweater, but you were here with Jake. And you want to dress up a little more special. Sure, there’s something between you both, but a little styling can’t hurt. You take off your sweater under which you still wear a plain gray top. There’s a little lace on your bra that you can see on your cleavage. So you leave the bathroom to go to your travel bag. You pick out two Tshirts. (Imagine your desire outfit. Please don’t choose a sweater because it doesn't match with the story lol) "Jake, I need your help!" He turns his head in your direction and pulls an eyebrow up as you hold the tops in the air to show it to him. "What is it?" he asks you. "Which one should I wear?" His look brushes both shirts and then your eyes. "Isn’t a sweater and jeans enough?" he asks. "Definitely not for tonight," you grin. "The Tshirt" he answers and turns back to his laptop. That’s not what you expected. "Why not that?" you ask. "You asked me and I told you to take the tshirt," he muttered. "That doesn’t answer my question," you look at him. "And you didn’t answer why a sweater wasn’t enough.I think you should wear a sweater." "All right, then the Tshirt" Not completely satisfied, you go back to the bathroom to take off your top and put on the Shirt. A look at the alarm clock shows you that you should start so slowly. "Did I really need that much time in the bathroom?" you ask yourself in your mind. "Jake? We have to go, are you coming?" you ask him. No reaction. "Jakeeeee?" Nothing. "Jakiee Hello?" You see his lips move slightly as he reads something. You walk up to him stand next to him. "Jake! Can you hear me?" You put a hand on his shoulder. Scared, he suddenly jumps up and grabs your wrist and holds it fast. His face looks shocked. You were also shocked by his quick movements and gasped. Briefly he looks up and down at you to realize that you are and nobody else. His gaze stays on your cleavage for a moment longer until he looks you in the face. His face is ten cm from yours. "Please don’t do that again," Jake breathes and stares into your eyes. "You didn’t listen to me, I didn’t want to scare you, I’m sorry, I should have thought," you apologized to him. "No, it’s okay, I didn’t mean to, did I hurt you?" he looked worried at your wrist. Carefully he strokes your skin with his thumb. "Don’t worry, it didn’t hurt, I was just scared too," you assure him. He’s letting go of your wrist. You just look each other quietly in the eyes. Unintentionally, you get closer. Until Jake suddenly shakes his head and asks "don’t we have to go?". He turns away to turn off his laptops. "Could have worked" you think  and reach for your bag in which your most important things are. Jake takes the car key off the table and comes after you. "Do you have the room key?" he harks. "Yes, I have," you answer his question. Together you leave the hotel and get into his car. You use Google Maps to find the way to the Aurora, and the journey is smooth. Only one song plays softly on the radio. -

I am Not Afraid Anymore Standing in the eye of the storm Ready to face this, dying to taste this, sick sweet warmth I am Not Afraid Anymore I want what you got in store I'm ready to feed now, get in your seat nowAnd touch me like you never And push me like you never And touch me like you never 'Cause I am not afraid, I am Not Afraid Anymore No no no

-

You notice how the mood in the car changes, and breathing is a little harder as you hear the lines of the song. You can see his jaw straining against each other and realize that he is also a little tense. For the same reason as you? You don’t know. His hand is cramped on the gearshift. "Just keep looking out the window" you think. Less than 10 minutes later Jake drives to the parking lot in front of the Aurora.

The others seem to be already there. Outside the door is Dan smoking a cigarette. “are you ready?” you ask the hacker before you get out again. "Yeah, it’ll be fun," Jake mumbles. He tries to smile but it doesn’t really work. You look up and open the door. After Jake locks the car, you guys head for the entrance. You can already see Dan pulling up an eyebrow. "Look at you, the Riddle Queen is here" he calls. "Hey, Dan," you laugh. How naturally he embraces you briefly what you return. "And this is definitely our hacker, right?" asks Dan and looks at Jake. Both look not at first enthusiastic but then Jake stretches out his hand. Dan takes his hand. "Hey, I’m Jake" he introduces himself this time. Dan looks suspicious, but then sighs. "Hi Jake I’m Dan, nice of you to join us, we can use your help" You were just worried about Dan saying something stupid but luckily he says nothing. "Then let’s go inside" asks the bearded and opens the door. “By the way, Lilly already told us that Jake is here. It slipped out of her a few moments ago so don’t be mad at Lilly that we already knew it” Dan explained. "We’re sitting in the corner over there so that we will not be disturbed by anyone" Dan explains. Curious you look around, you have already seen a few pictures but in real life the bar is much bigger. "Hey, MC" calls out a voice. Phil stands behind the bar, smiling. "Hi Phil, this is Jake," you say. You look behind you where Jake stands and doesn’t look happy at Phil. "Hi, sit down, we’ll be right back, my co-workers will be here so I don’t have to work tonight" You notice a hand that lies slightly on your hip and gently pushes you forward. Jake is still looking at Phil, but then at you. He’s smiling, but you can see it’s not real. "We have visitors" calls Dan to the group. Jessy sits with her back to you, looking backwards in a flash. "MCCCCC" calls her and jumps up. Jake quickly takes a step to the side so as not to be run over as Jessy throws herself into your arms. "Wow, I’m looking forward to seeing you too," you laugh. "Finally you are there I could not wait any more" "She really couldn’t, she's been annoyed me off all day at work" Richy laughs. You and Jessy split up so you can greet the rest. Unlike expected, Richy approaches Jake on his own. "You must be Jake, Hi I’m Richy beautiful that you are there, but MC you could’ve told us you were bringing your lover boy with you." Jake slips out a little grin and you hit Richy in the shoulder. "Yeah, next time I’ll let you know" "That was a hint that the next time you bring someone else," Lilly laughs. "No, don’t worry," you blink. "So you can sit there. Actually, that would be Thomas' place but he’s not there yet so you take the two chairs and I’ll tell Phil to get another one," explains Jessy. You go to the other side of the table and sit across from Jessy. To your left is Jake, and next to him is Richy. Dan sits next to Jessy, Cleo sits next to Dan and Lilly at the head of the table. You actually expected a very different reaction, that they’re skeptical of Jake. You’re looking at Lilly and she's looking at you, too. "You?" you speak silently to make sure that Lilly helped. She nods with a smile. "Thank you" you answer. "Now how was your trip here?" Richy asks you. "Long but it was okay. Fortunately there were not so many cars on the way" you take over the talk. "Well, then nothing can go wrong today" Dan answers and looks briefly at Jake. I hope there’s no argument. "Where is Thomas?" you ask in the round. "Maybe in the basement?" Lilly grins, making everyone else laugh. "He’s got something to do" Dan tells you. Jake keeps himself in the background but answers most questions without hesitation. It was clear that there would be many questions. After about half an hour, Thomas finally arrived, who was not even thrilled to see Jake. Thomas still thinks Jake and Hannah were having an affair. He doesn’t really want to realize it’s not true, but he’s probably just overwhelmed with everything. "So, what do you all want to drink?" Phil asks as he comes to your table. "MC, let’s have a glass of whiskey!" Dan immediately shouts. You look at him skeptically. "I do not accept a no" he grins. "Okay, two whiskeys, Jessy, Cleo and Lilly, you’ll have a cocktail as usual, and Richy and Thomas a beer?" What do you want?" Phil asks Jake. "A Coke" he answers. "All right, is coming" Phil grins at you and walk back in the kitchen. Shortly afterwards, a young woman with a apron comes to you with a tray and gives everyone a drink" "For a nice and relaxing evening" Richy takes a toast. Jake and Richy seem to get along quite well. "Finally, closing time" Phil shouts grinning as he comes towards you. He pulls a chair from the neighboring table to yours and falls elegantly on it in the same motion. "At least you’ll have free time tomorrow," Jessy answers and drinks a sip of her cocktail. Dan’s and your whiskey ran out pretty fast, so he ordered two more. You didn’t want to drink much, since you’re gonna sleep next to Jake. And you don’t want to do the smell of alcohol to him. But it was too late to stop Dan. Thomas told him not to drink so much today, but he just laughed. Phil hands you his hand that you accept and shakes it. "So now I have Duskwood’s celebrity finally sitting in my bar, it’s a great honor," says Phil smiling. "You’ll get your autograph later," you laugh. "I assume he’s the second kidnapper, right?" he means Jake. The hacker nods silently. "All right, whats going on here?" Phil asks interested and drinks a sip of his own glass of whiskey. "Spend a relaxing evening and talk about the search," Cleo answers. Phil has pulled back the house ban against Thomas and Cleo fortunately. Jessy said Phil changed his mind because of you. Jessy told him that they were going to another bar but Phil wanted to meet you. You didn’t think anything of it and were just glad the two burglars were allowed back into the Aurora. The conversations are moving towards the forest search and you go through all the theories you come up with. Make plans and consider how you would react in the biggest emergency. "Luckily there are a lot of men here, if something happens I’ll protect you," Phil laughs. "I think MC can take care of herself, that’s what she told me," Richy throws in. "Oh, you can take care of yourself?" Phil’s voice sounds amusing. "Yes, I’m sure I can, but I doubt that the man without a face will ever come near us," you argue." And even if he do, I’ll punch him." Dan raises his glass like a toast and then drinks a sip himself. "I’ll bring a crowbar" Richy looks proud. "Wow" giggles Jessy. "Let’s change the subject, we shouldn’t assume the worst" You look at the glass in your hand. "MC is right. If we’re going to be stressed out by now, we’ll be too excited tomorrow and maybe miss the real Deatils". "What kind of detail should you overlook in the woods?" asks Phil. "After the sign of the raven on the tree in the forest, you never know what else we can find" agrees Jessy. "You’re right," says Cleo. "You’re such little detectives," Phil scoffs. "We’re looking for a murderer and kidnapper of a friend of ours, so don’t make fun of it," you say seriously. "Hey, I don’t want to attack you with this, just a little fun, I mean you’re good at what you do," explains Jessy’s brother. You notice the undertone his voice always has when he speaks to you. It always sounds a bit like he’s making fun of you.His eyes never leave you alone. It feels like he’s watching every single one of your movements. Phil and Jessy are telling a story from their childhood when they had a fight. Again and again he looks at you and it seems to you that he only tells the story to you and not to everyone else. "And then I pushed her into the lake," Phil laughs. "That wasn’t funny, I was scared to death," hisses Jessy. "You absolutely have to come back and then go swimming in the lake.We have a secret place where no one comes. There’s a place for a barbecue and a bench and a table, so I can show you where I shoved Jessy in." Phil addresses you again. He has a crooked grin on his lips and leans back in the leather chair. "Yes I wanted to go with Jessy anyway, she wanted to show me the lake" "Well, I’m in," he winks. All the others are engrossed in conversation only Jake sits quietly on his chair. Until he leans over to you and takes the glass of alcohol from your hand and drinks it with a sip. Confused, you look at Jake putting the glass on the table. "Everything okay?" you ask him quietly. "Yes, it’s all right, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be" "If you want to go, you can tell me," you smile lightly. He smiles back at you. It’s one of those moments where you look at each other quietly. How you’d strongly like to kiss him now. "Phil, you should still make MC the cocktail I made up," you hear Jessy’s voice. You don’t want to take your eyes off Jake. "Right, I almost forgot, but then she has to come into the kitchen with me, I can’t show it openly yet. It’s not on the menu yet," explains her brother. "What is it?" you ask confused. "I made a cocktail the other day, and Phil thought it was so good that he wanted to put it on the drinks list. I told him that you should definitely try it and say your opinion," the redhead explains excitedly. Phil gets up from his chair and runs towards the bar. "Come on," he yells at you and disappears around the corner. "Let’s go," Jessy urges. Laughing, you get up and follow Phil. Jake’s talking to Richy and Lilly again, so it won’t be a problem. "There you are," you hear Phil collecting all sorts of ingredients. "I’m unsure if this tastes good" you share your opinion when you see the chili lying on the cutting board. "Don’t worry, he’ll be as sweet as you" he jokes and winks at you. "This flirt phrase was bad" you grin. "Yes, I agree, but did it still work?" "No, it didn’t, I’m sorry." "I notice you’re making fun of me," Phil mutters as he cuts a tomato. "Tomatoes? How did Jessy come up with that idea?" you ask. "She read something on the Internet and then had the idea. The bar was still closed when she suddenly stood in here and yelled at me that she had an idea, "smiling, he crushes the tomatoes in a bowl. Together with a small piece of chili, he packs both into a Mixxer. "Actually, the cocktail should be called 'Jessy's Special' but with the chilli it is as sharp as you look. Maybe I’ll name it after you, "Phil will make a new attempt to flirt with you. You want to answer but than Jessy come in the kitchen jumping. "And how far along are you?" she asks. "Jessy I’m not a magician," Phil murmurs. "Well, as the owner of a bar, you should be faster," she counters. Phil dumps two liquids in a glass with some ice cubes in it. He puts a straw and a leaf of peppermint. He’s pushing it over to you. You look at it skeptically. He leans relaxed against the counter and watches you again. "Come on, trust me, it tastes good," Jessy tells you. "All right," you give up and drink caution through the straw. "And how does it taste?" "I have to admit, it tastes good, but how much alcohol is in there?" you ask and wrinkles the face because of the bitter liquid. " Actually it’s not supposed to taste like alcohol, that’s the good thing about it," Jessy explains. You hold the glass so she can taste it too. Disgusted, she looks at the glass. "Damn Phil, you put way too much alcohol in there," Jessy immediately complains. "I’m sorry, I may have been distracted by the sharpness in this room," he winks at you again. "Ahhh yaaa?" she looks at her brother. The door is opened and Lilly sticks her head in." MC do you have a minute?" she asks you. You put the glass down and follow her out the door. Your first look goes to the table where you don’t see Jake sitting. "Where’s Jake?" you ask right away. "That’s what I wanted to tell you, he went outside, he just said he needs some air, I’m a little worried. But I don’t know him well enough to ask, but you do, "she explains. You nod your head. Without waiting, you make your way outside the bar. Jake is leaning against the car and looks at his cell phone. "Jake, all right?" you ask as you run towards him. "Sure, I just needed some fresh air," he explains, but he doesn’t sound happy. "Come on, I see something’s wrong, you want to go? We can go back to the motel," you suggest. "No MC it’s all right," he murmurs. "No MC it’s all right" he tries to convince you. "You’re lying to me" "No I do not" Jake looks around but dont look at you. "You need to talk to me or I can’t help you" you sound desperate. "I don’t need any help either, it’s all okay I just wanted some air," he hisses. "Wow okay if you get mad now I go back in. I don’t want to annoy you" you answer insulted and turn around to go back in. "Good idea, go back to Phillip," Jake growls softly, but not quietly enough that you can’t hear it. Immediately you stop and turn back to him "Wait WHAT?"You cross your arms in front of your chest and pull up an eyebrow. "No, nothing" he tries to save himself. "No no no! I heard exactly that! Did you just say I should go to Phil?" "Yes, yes I have" now he looks right in your eyes. You are outraged by this. "What does that mean? What does that have to do with Phil?" "You know it exactly" he prickly kicks a stone aside. "No, I’m sorry, I have no idea what you’re talking about." "Oh no? MC here, MC there and MC I really have to show you the lake" he speaks as if he would throw up. "Huh?" you put your hands in your hips. "He’s trying to impress you all the time! All the time! Don’t you notice that?" he hisses and comes one step towards you. "That’s bullshit! Why are you mad at me? Phil doesn’t do anything!" "You really don’t notice it, or you just like it so much that you don’t want to notice it!" "Oh, my God, what’s your problem, Jake?" "My problem is that Phillip flirts with you all the time even though you’re mine!" he throws his arms into the air. Suddenly you understand this strange situation. Whether you like it or not, you just can’t resist smiling. "Why are you smiling now?" he asks desperately. "You’re jealous of Phil," you giggle. "Pff" snapped, he turns away from you. He stands with his back in your direction, looks at the other side of the street and pretends that you are not here at all. He still folded his arms in front of his chest, which is why you take the opportunity to wrap your arms around his stomach from behind. You lean your head against his back and his smell surrounds you like in the car rides. "Oh, Jake, why don’t you say so right away?" you ask whispering. "What are you talking about?" his voice sounds like he doesn’t know what you mean. "You have no reason to be jealous of Phil," you assure him. "I noticed that" he answers ironically. "Richy says Phil’s a fuckboy, so you don’t have to take it so seriously, I don’t either." "You don’t have to think about it all the time, I've to" "You like me, don’t you?" you giggle. "Isn’t that proof enough?" he asks. "I think I need even better proof" you breathe and take another step towards him. "What proof?" he asks nervously. "I don’t know, Jake, be creative." You take another step towards him. Jake is a bit taller than you, which is why you need to look up at him. His eyes sparkle in the light of the lantern. "What are you doing?" he whispers. His facial expressions are a little insecure. "What are you doing?" he whispers. "I will give you a chance to do something" "I don’t know what you mean," he laughs nervously and looks across your head. "Kiss me, Jake" Immediately his gaze rushes back to you. "W-What?" he stutters. "Oh, Jake, that’s what I love about you," you giggle. "What? You love..." Before he can pronounce, you pull him to you by the fabric of your hoodie, stand on the tips of your toes and press your lip on his. Jake instantly stiffens and doesn’t move an inch, but he doesn’t pull his head back, so maybe he’s just too scared. You detach yourself from him and look into his wide open eyes. You just keep looking at him and not saying anything. "Fuck it," he suddenly mumbles. His hand lies down around you on your back and pulls you against him. He puts his right hand in your neck and your lips meet again. Fireworks explode in your stomach, making you warm and cold at the same time. You immediately close your eyes to focus only on his soft lips that move perfectly to yours. You put your hands on the collar of his sweaters to pull him even closer. Easily it turns you towards the car and directs you a few steps back until you feel the vehicle at your back. Your hands go down his neck and run through his hair. His left hand strokes under your tshirt and lies on your bare skin on your back.His hand is cold which is why you gasp for air. He takes the chance right away to steal a deeper kiss.

The kiss becomes more passionate and the hacker pushes even harder against the car.

You pull his hair lightly and a throaty growl escapes him. Your heartbeat stops for a moment and goose bumps form on your body. Oh God, he robs you of all your wits. He seems to know exactly what to do, as if you were meant for each other. Like your whole life was just a preparation for this moment. A wait until he comes into your life. Unfortunately, you are standing in the middle of a parking lot in front of the bar because of the owner you just had a little fight with each other. Your kiss becomes softer until it finally dissolves from you with a heavy breath. Also your breathing is difficult and your heart beats so much that it is unhealthy. "Damn," Jake breathes on your lips and leans his forehead against yours. "You are the best thing that could have happened to me," he adds quietly and without breathing. "Jake, I love you I think you already know this but I don’t want to stay away from you anymore" you explain to him quietly and seriously. It’s true, you don’t feel like pretending there’s nothing there, even though everyone knows there’s something between you that you want to be together. It is fate that your number was sent to Thomas and you learned so this hacker, who now stands before you. And that you got along so well from the first minute, just confirms it. "I tried to fight against that it was just too dangerous for both of us. But the way Phil looks at you and flirts with you, God damn it, i hate that" A small grin forms on your face. "It’s hot when you’re mad" He turns his eyes annoyed but can’t resist a grin. "See, you say a little sentence and I have to grin, it’s not normal," he mumbles. "It’ll be normal from now on," you blink. "We should go back in before the others come out and look for us," you say. "You’re right," he agrees. "Oh, and Jake? Remember, tonight you’re sleeping with me, not Phil. Only you" You just give him a short kiss and walk right the front door. "Um, MC, I think you made a misstake in your sentence" you hear his nervous voice behind you. "Maybe I did, maybe I meant it like the way i said" you turn your head to him and stick out your tongue. "You’re as naughty as ever," he murmurs. "Get used to it, babe, you can’t get rid of me." Before you can open the door, you will be pulled back at the wrist and pusches against Jake’s body. Before you can lose your balance, he holds you tight. "You play dangerous, don’t burn yourself," he breathes on your lips. Immediately your heart beats faster and you get dizzy with the sound of his voice. "Was that an offer or a promise?" you breathe. "It was a threat," he winks and kisses you again. Next to you, the door suddenly opens and a small group comes out. Immediately you break away from each other. "Look, I told you all the time that they are definitely a couple and the others don’t know it," one girl in the group says to another. "Yeah okay, you were right," the other one laughs and looks at you and Jake apologetically. You start laughing and look at Jake whose eyes are already on you. "Ups" you whisper against his lips and release yourself from his grip in opening the door. Immediately the warm air and the smell of alcohol comes to you. "Ah Bonnie and Clyde are back," Richy laughs. Bonnie and Clyde? Doesn’t sound so bad, even if you’re not so criminal, just a little bit. But only because of Hannah. "We thought the man with no face took you," Jessy giggles "Never, who can flee from the government can cope with the man without a face.This is a fool who has no friends!" Dan interferes and makes you laugh. "And MC, did you tell me about my cocktail?" Phil asks. "No, she didn’t, we didn’t have time," comes dry from Jake. "Oh okay calm down" Phil grins mean. "I am calm in person" Jake shrugs his shoulders and sits back on his chair. You sit next to him and steal a sip of his Coke. He looks at you with his eyebrow up." That’s my Coke." "Yes, but I have a dry mouth, it was cold outside," you answered and put the glass back on the table. He begins to grin and drinks himself a sip of Coke. Jessy clears her throat and you look at her. Inconspicuously she pulls up an eyebrow. She saw right through you. She’ll want to know everything tomorrow and text you tonight. "MC, if you still feel like it after the search tomorrow, we can go for a drink, not necessarily in the Aurora, also somewhere else", Phil suggests. Not good timing, Phil, not good. "No, we can’t, we don’t have time," you hear Jake next to you. "How well that I didn’t ask you but MC" "How good that I talked to MC and not you," Jake answers. Under the table you reach for his hand lying on his thigh. You fold your fingers together and squeeze slightly to maybe calm him down a little. "Now it’s getting interesting" Dan leans back in his chair expectantly. "I just want to have a drink with MC and not with you," Phil argues. "And MC has no time tomorrow" "Why not, you have to escape something again? Hacker, you’re a really bad guy." Disparagingly, Jessy’s brother looks at Jake. "I’m what you’d like to be" Jake reaches for his Coke to drink a sip. "Ouh that was good," Richy mumbles and trying to hide his grin by keeping his hand from his mouth. "Maybe everyone should calm down" Cleo tries to save the situation. "I think if MC doesn’t want to she can tell me herself"  Now he’s looking at you. "I’m sorry about Phil, but I really can’t, and tomorrow night after the search we will all be tired" you explain. "You’d rather spend time with a hacker than with a normal person who’s not a criminal?" "Ah exactly because a life in a small town is so much more exciting" Jake grins. "But a life with someone like you?" "You only want one night, Philipp, nothing more" "A night with me is more exciting than a life with you" "Of course you’re right. A life with a bar owner in a small town is much more exciting than a life with a wanted and one of the best hackers in the country" Jake sneers.

You like Phil, but he’s not Jake. You fell in love with him because he’s him, and damn it, running away with Jake is stupid but sounds like a lot of suspense in hotel rooms. "What’s your problem?" Phil asks hissing. "My problem is how you look at my girl," Jake replies with equal resentment and raises your folded hands to put them on the table for everyone to see. "All of a sudden, you’re a couple?" "We’ve been around for a while, but I don’t have to yell it out so everyone knows it, you understand?" "And then you don’t say something from the beginning?" "You know, up to a point, I can understand that you want her, she’s perfect, but from a moment I can no longer tolerate that. And this moment is now, I’m sorry my girlfriend doesn’t want anything from you, but do me a favor and accept it." And right now, Jake won the fight. "Statement" speaks Dan and pretends he has to cough. "And you’re saying that because you’re afraid MC might realize I’m better than you?" "No, I don’t care about that, I mean she sleeps next to me in a bed and not next to you. But I think you should have more respect now that you know you don’t stand a chance." "Crass, it's like kindergarten here. I'm gone, I'll see you in the search tomorrow," Phil hisses and gets up to go. "Oh, and MC?" he starts and turns to you, "if you can't sleep tonight, I still have room in my bed". You're looking the first time at Jake after the conversation . You see a twinkle in his eyes, and you know it's all because of you. "Okay, but don’t wait for it," you answer without looking away from Jake. You put your hand to his cheek and bend over to give him a kiss. Jessy, Cleo and Lilly do "awww" at the same time. Dan gives a choking sound of himself and Thomas and Richy still look confused about the situation just now. "So wait, how long you be a couple?" Jessy asks directly. "We’re not together," Jake answers casually." But how else would I explain it to your stupid brother?" "Stupid brother" repeats Richy laughing what Jake said. Everyone looks at him with no understanding, except Jake, who also grins. "Wait, we’re not together?" you ask. "No" "And why not? I mean, after the situation outside and now in here I thought it was us" "I agree with you, but you haven’t asked me and I haven’t asked you yet." "And why don’t you ask?" "Why don’t you ask me?" he grins. "Because until two minutes ago I thought we were already together" "I’m sorry, I didn’t think this could happen so fast" "Quick? We’ve known each other for months?" "MC, do you want to be my girlfriend?" he asks and grins. "I don’t know if I want that," you look away from him. "Either you say yes now or I take the question back" "This is blackmail," you’re outraged. "3..." "Okay is fine, of course i want" "finally" call the others happily in a choir while Jake stares at you.

"Okay, I really don’t regret coming with you" he whispers against your lips to kiss you for the first time as a real couple

"That took a long time" giggles Jessy.

Masterlist

❤️🌹🎭

#duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood jake #everbyte duskwood #jake x reader #jake x mc #duskwood everbyte #duskwood fanfiction

[altr5312916195]

The Ghoul Boys' Pizza Party

“I can’t believe I let you dupe me into coming to a children's pizza place, Ryan. You really got me on this one.”

Shane told his partner as they stood outside of the abandoned building.

“Okay, yes it’s an odd place to be, but you know there’s been some stories since the opening of Freddy’s.”

“Oh, do tell.”

Shane said, feigning interest as they approached the doors.

“There’s legends of child murders, shady business and family affairs. A few of the restaurants went up in flames.”

Ryan explained. The pair walked up to the doors with the owner, and their crew behind them. The man unlocked the doors.

“Not this one though?”

“Not this one.”

Ryan confirmed as the man pushed the doors open.

“Have fun dudes, I’ll see you at six.” He chuckled.

He handed them pale blue button ups, a golden security badge sitting on top of the folded shirt.

“Great!

Let’s try not to die in a fire.”

Shane said, as he pulled on his shirt, fastening the badge to it.

“No promises.”

Ryan told him, being the first to step inside, buttoning his shirt.

“Oh look at the confidence!

The swagger ole’ Bergara has tonight.”

Shane chuckled as he walked behind.

The door clicked behind the crew as the owner locked them in for the night.

“I got a good feeling about this one.”

Ryan looked back at Shane with a smile.

“As in we’ll find some ghosts, or we’ll be ghoul free and you’ll go home and sleep well?”

“I’m not so sure yet.”

He noted, while dragging his hand across the damp wall. He found some light switches along the way and flicked them on. The overheads failed to power up, but the stage lights flickered on.

“Oh I truly hate that.”

Shane noted as the stage lit up, getting a good look at some tattered animatronics.

“Yeah that’s.. Not what you want to see.”

The Boys stepped to the edge of the stage, while the big three loomed over them.

“So tell me about the lore here. What are we looking at, I seem to recall child murder.”

Shane broke the silence.

“Yes! Lore..”

Ryan broke out of his trance and looked to Shane.

“Fredbear’s Family Diner opened in the early 70’s.”

“Oh they beat Chuck E?”

“Sure did.”

“The old cheese miser, they beat em to it.”

‘No one said they did a good job though.”

“Oh of course not..

Child murder isn’t good for the business,

Ryan c’mon! You should know that.”

“Hey, don’t jump ahead now hold on. So the little restaurant does well on it’s own for a time. It’s owned by one guy, guy decides it’s time to branch out.”

*chuckles* “Does guy have a name?”

“He does.”

*Gasp* “He does!”

“It’s Henry.”

“Henry, no last name?”

*laughs*

That is correct.”

“Oh that’s- *laughs* Wonderful.”

“Right so he teams up with this man.”

“Oh a partnership!

Does he have a name?”

“William Afton.”

“A last name too! What a lucky guy!”

*chuckles* “His full name is in the police report”

“But not Henry’s? He builds this business

From ground up and they don’t even give him

A proper name. What horse shit.”

“The disrespect is real.”

“It is!”

“It gets more real when you find out Afton’s

Pinned for henry’s daughter’s murder.”

*Laughs* “What? No you’re

Fucking with me.”

“Shane, I'm so serious.”

“Stop.”

“Honest to god.”

“That douche, that british douche!”

“Wha- *wheeze*

Why’s he a brit?”

“I just get the vibes.”

Ryan laughed it off, but continued on as they walked the table filled room.

“Freddy Fazbear’s opens about late 70’s right?”

“Things are going steady? No dead kids?”

“No dead kids, then!”

*chuckles* “Oh no..”

“See this is when Henry’s daughter goes missing.

Charlie.”

“That’s her name?”

“Charlette, yeah.”

“Oh okay, that douche Afton kills her.”

“Exactly, and hides her body

In one of the suits.”

“No!”

*nods* “Henry builds these things

And ole Afton thinks it’s a burial ground.”

“What a dick. That’s a new level

Of disrespect Ryan.”

“But wait! *laugs*

He kills five more kids.”

*laughs* “Ryan, that's not funny.”

“Shane, you're laughing too.”

“Well of course! Your delivery

Was so nonchalant.”

*laughs* “So five more kids.”

“Into the suits?”

“Yep.”

“Unrelated to Charlie?”

“Exactly.”

“But why?”

“He never told.”

“So he was taken in for this?”

“Then released because

They never found the bodies.”

“You’re kidding?”

“No, and then after Henry..

Well he kills himself.”

“Henry did? Oh god..”

“Right, Afton takes the rights.

Opens a new Freddy’s.”

“That douche bag..

He’s evil Ryan.”

“Truly, it’s scary.

But he opens this place,

Circus Baby’s.

His own daughter dies by

His animatronic, Baby.”

“That’s Karma.”

“You’d think.

You know his son dies too.”

“Who let this man have kids?”

“His dead wife..”

“OH MY GOD” *laugs*

“How’d she die?”

*laugh* “I’ll give you two guesses.”

“Sweet Satan.

Man’s got the worst luck.”

“Well, yknow

Maybe don’t murder children for funsies.”

“Fair point.”

There was a metallic creek behind them as they walked the restaurant.

*soft chuckle*

“Oh no..”

“I-

I’m not turning around.”

*laughs* “Please do,

We’ll turn around together.”

*Deep breath*

“Okay.”

“One.”

“Two..”

“Three.” The boys turned to face the stage once again.

“Ryan the bear moved.”

“Freddy.”

“Oh, Mr Fazbear himself.”

“The big man..”

Freddy’s eyes glinted as they shifted to gaze at Shane and Ryan.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Shane.. There’s a child in there.”

“A real one?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Can’t be.”

“What?”

“I said what I said.”

“I- wha-

Alright, okay.”

“Can we sit, and finish the story?”

“You’re not scared?”

“No.”

Shane simply told him, and pulled out a dusty chair. Ryan sat next to him, and sighed. Though his eyes often darted between Shane, and Freddy.

“Fine..

So Afton has a few restaurants running.”

“Despite Henry killing himself.

Got it. Douche.”

“Well the first Freddy’s shuts down.

Not because of missing kids, but faulty walk around suits.”

“Faulty walk around suits,

What did a worker almost die

While handing out cake?”

Ryan starred at his partner silently. Shane laughed.

“They did?”

“That’s when they finally bring Afton in.”

“And then let him go?

Five kids, dead.

Business partner, dead

Worker, dead.

They let him go.”

“It’s insane, but yes.

So they shut the first Freddy’s down.”

“This one, right?

They rebuilt it in the 90s right?”

“Yeah, some things happened in between.

Five kids, spring lock accident, bite of 87’.”

“A kid bit someone?”

“An animatronic bit a security guard.”

“Oh.. Oh well that’s us tonight.”

Shane gestured to the pale blue shirt, gold badge shining in the dim light of their flashlights.

“That’s.. Foreboding.”

“Unfortunately, yeah.

You know they’ve gone through

Team of animatronics

After team of animatronics.

They finally decide to put it all to rest.”

“Everything closes down?”

“All of it.

Years later, Afton’s off the grid.”

“He’s dead?”

“That’s a theory.”

“A game theory, got it.

Now we’re here.”

“Right.”

“Let’s get hunting then.”

Shane stands up, and Ryan follows. He looks down at his watch.

“One thirty A.M.”

“Five more hours.”

Ryan sighs nervously. They move from the main dining hall into a hallway. The dim lights of the stage stay behind them. They turn into a new room, a small stage in the middle.

“Who’s that?”

Shane pointed to the red fur, and yellow eye that peaked at them behind a purple curtain.

“That would be Foxy.”

“The pirate.

Chica, Bonnie.”

“And a puppet.”

“Where is that one?”

“Storage.

Lot of people think Charlie is in that one.”

“Oh fun, gotta love living in a box forever.”

Shane walked to the tiny stage and reached out for the curtain.

“Dude! Stop what’s wrong with you?”

*chuckles* “C’mon it’s fine.”

He pulled back the curtain. A sharp creak rang out as the silver hook fell on Shane’s arm. He hissed in pain and pulled back.

“I fucking told you!”

“So the gears are loose, Ryan.

Shut up, I’m not dead.

Just give me a bandaid and an alcohol wipe.”

“We’re gonna need shots after this..”

“Oh please.”

Shane scoffed as one of the crew walked over and wiped at the cut with a small wipe, and slapped a bandaid over it.

“Good as new!”

Shane smiled, and thanked the crew member.

“Now, how bout a good ole spirit box?”

Ryan sighed, and pulled out the spirit box, setting it on one of the tables next to them.

“Alright Foxy, it’s gonna get a little loud in here.

Bet you’re used to it from all the screaming kids though.”

“Well he hasn’t been around em in a while.”

“It has been a bit.”

Ryan clicked the spirit box on. The loud shuffle of noise began as everyone listened in anticipation. Seconds passed and Ryan sighed again, disappointed.

“Nothing! C’mon Foxy boy, you got nothing to say?”

The room was quiet save for the radio channels shuffling.

Then something broke through.

“Save them.”

Ryan’s eyes widened as goosebumps hit his arms.

“No.”

*chuckles* “That.. that was the clearest thing

We’ve heard..”

Ryan looked at the tattered red fox and stepped back.

“Shane what the hell was that?”

The words “Save them” struck the cold air again.

Shane laughed, albeit nervously.

“The kids need help Ryan.”

“Shane stop.”

“Ryan they need you.”

“Shane it’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny.”

Ryan picked up the spirit box, and turned it off. He quickly ducked back into the hallway.

“Oh come- Ryan come on.”

Shane followed him out. They continued down the corridor.

“Shane it’s not funny,

There’s kids in there.”

“You can’t believe that.”

“You don’t?”

Shane hesitated.

“No, I don’t.”

A dim light at the end of the hall led them to an office.

Computer screens lined the wall.

“I’m sorry I can’t find it

Easy to joke about these kids.”

“Ryan stop.. It’s fine. It’s what we do.”

They looked to the screens as they argued and Ryan stopped mid sentence.

“Chica’s gone.”

“What? No she’s no-”

On the main screen, the stage, there was only two animals up there. Freddy, and Bonnie.

A crash came from the kitchen.

“Is the whole team in the office?”

Ryan asked, and counted the members in the room. They were all there.

“Shut the doors.”

Shane fumbled for a door, there was none. Just a hole in the wall. He muttered in confusion as he hit the red button labeled door. A metal door came slamming shut.

“I don’t think that’s very safe.”

“But the animatronics outside are?”

“Pick your poison Ryan.”

“We are going to die here..”

“Oh stop! *laughs* We’re fine.”

“Shane I don’t think you understand!

So many people died here.

Kids, nightguards, shift managers. Families, Shane.”

“Ryan, it’s not true.”

Ryan shook his head, and turned to look back at the screens on the wall. Shane put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder.

“Come on, Ryan..”

He laughed awkwardly, while Ryan shrugged his hand away.

One of the monitors glitched, coming back to show Foxy in a new position.

“It moved.”

“I see that..”

“What do we do?”

“Nothing, we watch them.

What time is it?”

“Three.”

Ryan sighed, and sunk into one of the roller chairs by the desk.

“Ryan what are we doing?”

“I don’t know! Okay?

We’re stuck here until dawn. Let’s just ride it out.”

Shane sat down next to him, and watched the computer screens. The main screen glitched as Bonnie moved off stage, leaving Freddy alone.

“Shane, why do you think they’re moving?”

“They’re programmed that way aren’t they?”

“You think they do that at Chuck E Cheese?”

“Well, yknow..

I don’t know. I’ve never been in this position.”

Ryan shuffled around again for the spirit box and clicked it on.

Shane groaned and flinched as the sound screeched through the small room.

“Oh you love to hate it..”

Shane joked as Ryan shushed him. Shane pouted and sighed, leaning back in the chair. More banging came from the kitchen.

“Let’s eat.”

“Ryan.. *laughs*

Ryan the chicken is gonna eat us.”

“Shane..”

“I’m sorry I can’t help it.”

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and Ryan turned off the box to hear them better. Things went quiet until something slammed against the door. Ryan jumped back with a shout, and Shane pointed his flashlight towards the window.

In the window a purple shadow stood smiling.

“It’s Bonnie.”

“I see him, Shane.”

“What do we do?”

“Everyone stay still, maybe it’ll go away.”

They both spoke barely above a whisper. Minutes passed as the bunny stood unmoving. Humming echoed through the halls.

“Ryan..”

“I know.. I-i know.

What time-”

“Four.”

“This is our purgatory, Shane.

We’re done for.”

“Don’t be so pessimistic.”

After what felt like hours the hulking form finally turned to leave.

Ryan sighed in relief.

“See?”

“Don’t jinx it Shane.”

“I’m sorry.”

He went quiet, eyes falling back on the screens as they watched Bonnie roam the halls. Chica had found her way back to the stage, Foxy was unmoving.

“Why are they moving? What do they want with us?”

“Stop asking questions I don’t have answers to!”

Ryan huffed out. He looked down at his feet, the golden badge glinting in his eyes as a thought hit him.

“William always came in dressed as a guard.

That was his MO.”

“And we’re the guards. What if they’re

scared of us?”

Ryan looked at Shane, dumbfounded.

“What if they are scared of us?”

“One hour left.” Someone from the crew informed.

“We have to get back to the front doors.”

A soft beeping began to ring out. Shane looked around for the source. In the corner of on of the screens a small red battery flashed in time with the beeping.

“We’re losing power.”

“To what?”

Shane shrugged.

“We’re not going to make it.”

“We’re going to make it.”

Something slammed against the door, a dent being pressed into it.

“We don’t get paid enough for this!”

“It’s Foxy, that bitch!

“Shane, you'll make him angier!”

“Yeah? Well he can suck it!

That’s right!”

“They’re kids!”

“Oh please..”

Another slam rang out, as the beeping grew louder, more urgent.

“Five thirty.”

“Shane what do we do?”

“We’re going to get to that door.

He’ll go away soon.”

The banging grew louder, and Ryan moved to cover his ears. He shrank back in his chair, eyes shut.

Despite all this he heard something in the back of his mind as images flash in his head.

It’s me

“Shane!”

Shane stood up, standing between Ryan and the door. The banging stopped. The fox walked away. Ryan relaxed a bit. Until the power went out, and the door opened again.

“We’re going to run for it.”

“We cannot do that!”

“We can.”

Shane grabbed Ryan’s arm and booked it down the halls, dragging Ryan behind him. Foxy wasn’t far off on their steps in the hall.

“Ryan run faster!”

“I ca- I can’t!”

He choked out. His eyes were on the small crew behind them, worried of who may be left behind. Chica met them at the end of the hall as she stepped out from the kitchen. Shane narrowly avoided hitting her dead on and led them into the main room.

“Look there’s the door!”

Ryan laughed in pitiful fear, and small relief. Until Bonnie stopped them in their tracks.

“Oh god, oh fuck.”

Chica, and Foxy had the crew trapped, the doors barely out of reach. All of the voices grew louder around them. Ryan clutched his hands over his ears, his eyes shut tight. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest, and Shane’s tight grip on him released.

“Shane?”

Ryan asked, refusing to open his eyes.

Shane looked at the animatronics as they circled the team. They were so close he couldn’t let it end like this. But he also couldn’t reveal himself. He panicked, his eyes began to turn a deep red as he looked around for another way out. But those kids, they wouldn’t get out of his head. They were so loud.

“OH JUST STOP IT”

He screamed, and they listened. The voices were silent, and Ryan opened his eyes. Shane grabbed his arm again and yanked him to the doors.

The owner opened them up just as Ryan and Shane made it back outside. Though Shane was prepared to barrel through the glass if necessary.

Ryan fell to his knees as they finally made it to the end, and laughed in morbid relief.

“Hey! You guys made it! Did ya have fun?” The owner smiled at them.

Shane helped Ryan up, and glared at the owner. He ripped the badge off his shirt, and slammed it against the man’s chest.

“We’re suing.”

#I don't know what this is #I literally had the idea this morning #I wrote this in 3 houts #oh well #buzzfeed unsolved supernatural #buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed unsolved fanfic #fanfic #buzzfeed ryan #buzzfeed shane #this is not a ship post #dont tag as ship #ILL TAKE YOUR KNEES #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf fanfiction #five nights at freddys fanfiction #one shot #there's so many words #2809 words #so many #bless you if you read all of this #I had fun

[infinites-chaser]

//.reverie // mlqc // lucien

print(hello world)

im knee deep in a writing slump bUT i plugged a paragraph of writing into this funky little neural network and kept generating 500 words with it for. an aBSURD amount of time (while also telling it to focus on including the words ‘memory’ ‘dreams’ and ‘color’) and what it spit out was the cOOLEST. and i tried to kinda parse through it to find the most interesting bits and make it slightly more coherent and it ended up being a little like how i’d imagine a series of dreams Lucien might’ve had post ch.18 so i hope someone? enjoys?

warning for non-explicit drug use, general fragmentATion and lack of narrative plot or coherence, the bizarre nature of dreams, spoiler-adjacent content for ch.13 and hinting at stuff from ch.18 onwards

The paragraph the neural network consumed (from watch the universe expand):

"You know, sometimes I think the stars must be lonely," she says, and though he doesn't dare look at her, he hears her both in real life and through the phone speaker cradled close to his ear. He feels rather than sees her move closer to his side of the balcony, closing the distance, coming to the edge.

"They're thousands of light years away from each other," she continues. "Maybe they wonder if they're all alone, sometimes, if they're the only light for miles in an empty, endless dark sea."

"It makes me sad, to think about it. We spend our lives looking up at the stars and casting lines, drawing constellations between them, but in reality, they're just as lonely as we are. Maybe even more."

prelude.

In his dreams, he has color for days, but that's because his memories are always colored with color. He remembers the colors of all the colors, he knows it, because colors fade in real life, colors can be rearranged. They stay the same in dreams. He remembers colors and faces in dreams, with absolute certainty.

He stands up and steps away from the glass, out onto the balcony. As the darkness reaches all the way to the bottom of the floor, he sees shadows in his mind. He recognizes the colors, the colors of dreams, as colors of real life. He can tell his memory is broken in his dreams, with such clarity that he could read an entire newspaper front page through color and dreams.

(He takes a step closer to the blue sky.)

i.

He remembers when he had first been able to see the constellations in the night sky, just a few short years ago, when his eyesight still had the capability to take in so much. They'd wanted to go to a star party, together, where he could be amazed by a whole world of constellations, but he'd turned it down.

"You were scared of strangers," she says. "It's not a strangers-only thing."

"That's true," he says.

"You're still shy," she says.

"I never was shy,” he says.

I never really grew up, he thinks.

ii.

He feels her warm breath. The scent of her.

"Do you think they look down at us and feel the loneliness of millions of years alone?"

"The stars? I've always imagined they might."

“Do you think they wonder about us, too? Or feel sorry for us?”

He scoffs.

“What’s there to wonder about?”

She shrugs. Her eyes look as distant as the stars. As cold.

"The sadness of losing one's entire species and the companionship of someone who sees and understands the beauty of the stars because of what we lost. Or the loneliness of knowing our species won't survive the disaster we caused."

“What do you mean,” he starts. Her lips curve up into a mockery of a smile.

“You know what,” she breathes. “Ares.”

(He wakes. Calls the dampness on his cheeks a nightmare’s cold sweat and not tears.)

iii.

He shrugs.

“We forget, don’t we? The world moves on. We move on.”

"That's not the way it is,” she says. “The best love in life comes from time spent with another person, the love that never fades or leaves you in darkness, like memories do. Sometimes, it's not the love we give each other but the love we receive from each other. I don't know, I guess the answer would depend on the person."

"Maybe the stars never forget their dreams,” she says. “Or the people they knew, or their color. Maybe they never lose the ability to recognize and remember what they're drawn to. Or maybe they can never forget the color of your eyes."

iii, ii.

“We forget, don’t we? The world moves on. We move on.”

(Do we? He thinks. Thinks they’ve been here, standing atop this balcony before. Thinks he's seen her eyes turn cold. Thinks he's seen her cry.)

He shrugs.

"No," she says quietly, but softly, still looking at the stars, still thinking about the comfort she gave him. (It's never enough, always, to fill the emptiness, the longing, the memories that must remain buried inside him.)

"I don't believe that. I know that the stars up there are as lonely as us, because they're like us, they love each other, they care for each other, they care for us, and love keeps us warm in the cold. Love is the one thing that can save us."

"You're right," he says. (Holds her close. Wishes he could do the same while awake.)

"Love really can save us. I have faith in that. No matter what happens, no matter what we do, we have to find ways to love each other and hold on to each other."

v.

"Do you remember the dreams you've had about the colors, or the faces of the people in the colors?"

She laughs softly. "I can never forget you, or your color, or the color of that sky in your memories, now. But that picture might look a little different in the morning light. Right now, I can't see it very well. You know, sometimes it's hard to remember what color the sky looks like in your memory when it's bright outside. It doesn't really feel like a real memory. You've said that yourself, at least."

"No, I haven't," he says. "It's just a memory."

"A memory?" she asks.

"A memory?" she repeats. “It’s always memories with you.”

He can't tell if she's laughing or not, or if she's teasing him or not.

“What do you mean?”

"It’s a secret,” she says. “You could always just ask me in real life.”

(I can’t, he thinks, but can’t say. Can't remember why.

He wakes.)

vi.

"Color?" she repeats. "Color?"

"Yes," he says. "You're color. You're always ... different, in my memories."

She laughs. "Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe we remember our lives as they were, not what we wish they were. Maybe that means we can forgive ourselves a little more.”

"For what?"

(She's frozen.

She fades.

For what? He thinks, then wakes.)

vii.

"I think I have colors for months in my memory," she says. "See here?"

"What?"

"Colors. In the moon, or this tree, or maybe the sky?"

"You mean right now?"

"No. All of them, at one time or another."

"What color is the sky?"

She laughs, and her voice is beautiful. She tells him that the sky looks the color of memories and dreams.

But then he asks another question. "When you dreamed last night, what did you dream about?”

"I can't remember all of them," she says. “My dreams. They fade.”

"But you do remember that you were dreaming, back there?"

"I was dreaming. About you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. All I know is that the dream felt like a good one."

"It must have been, if you remember it. Did you have the same dreams when you were growing up?"

"Yes," she whispers. "Sometimes."

(“Sometimes I think we must’ve met in one.”

“What?”

“A dream."

"That'd be nice, wouldn't it?")

viii.

“The stars,” she murmurs. “Do you think they dream? Do you think they can escape?"

"Perhaps they can, to some extent," se says. "I'm not sure it works for everyone."

She asks him to step into the blue sky with her. To escape. To return.

"Can you go back? I haven't asked anyone to go back yet, but maybe you can."

He takes a step, closing his eyes. He remembers the color of this blue sky, and he remembers dreaming and dreaming. He remembers colors, and colors are real, so they must be real in real life. So he steps forward into the blue sky.

His skin stretches and stretches and stretches, the colors in his skin growing more vivid as he steps further, he gets closer to the sky. The colors disappear in his memory, which can still contain dreams, so that his skin looks almost white, at first. His body elongates until he looks like he's wearing a strange version of a spacesuit, like the one his friends wore when they had to wear oxygen masks on the surface of planets and robots to stay alive.

He hears his echo. It’s saying that he looks lonely. Pale blue dot— he'll drift through space, he'll miss her in the dark, or he won't but he'll be too late, anyway.

It's hard to figure out which colors in the blue sky he's really seeing. He thinks the color of his skin looks like the sky he remembered, but maybe it isn't really the sky he remembers. He sees colors of the people he knew and the colors of the colors of the sky, but he sees colors that are impossible to connect with other colors.

(He surfaces to darkness, insides twisting, writhing, turned snakes by the venom he's made of his blood. He staggers to the sink, spits up poison. Thinks about forgetting. Thinks about taking more.)

ix.

His color is yellow, the color of a sick leaf, and the first of the colors of his dreams.

"Tell me again what color I look like in your memory," she says.

He tries to focus on that part of her, of her memory, where he actually sees her. He thinks about how good her skin looks, how smooth and pale and slightly glowing. He can't remember her color.

"Do I look just like you remember?" he asks.

"Your color is the color of yellow of the leaves, right?"

"Yes," he whispers.

“You’re sick,” she says, and places a hand on his cold cheek, lets it warm.

“Sick,” he echoes, closes his eyes against her touch. Lets himself fade. Lets himself rest. “Perhaps.”

x.

"I don't remember it," he admits. "Your color."

"But you don't want me to, do you?"

She sighs, and for a moment, it seems she's crying. "No," she whispers. "No, not all."

"You didn't want me to know, did you?"

"Yes, I did. I do."

She bites her lip. Looks down. Looks away.

"I want you to remember. Just— not like this. Never like this."

"Why?"

"Because you'd see the way I laugh and the way I'm breathing, and if you just heard it for yourself, you'd know the way I loved your hair when you woke up from the dream that you shared with me. The way you looked when you talked about your life, when you stared up at the sky, seeing the dreams in your eyes."

(He had forgotten them already, because they were beautiful, those memories, and he knew them without remembering their color. Without remembering her name. Without remembering the truth.

The sky, he thinks, is even more vivid than memories.)

xi.

"I don't know," he says. "Why don't I remember? What am I forgetting?"

"I don't know either," she says. "I think...I must've forgotten, too."

"But maybe it doesn't matter— we do remember colors, don't we? As colors really are. Because we can remember them. You know, that's why color blindness must be one of the most terrible things that's ever been born. For a color-blind person, they see the colors of people and things by the color of their eyes, and they can't tell when the color is off. Just like colors are difficult to remember, and colors are difficult to see."

He smiles at her.

"There's one more way, isn't there?"

“To see color?”

“To remember,” he whispers, and lowers his lips to hers. She flinches under him, he steadies her, then she’s limp, his hands tight around her neck and he—

(He wakes.)

xii.

"Why are you here again?" she asks.

He shakes his head.

“I don’t know.”

"We might be in the middle of remembering," she says. "We're both always in the middle of remembering things in the middle of moments."

"Oh, you're an astrologist, then," he mutters, trying to remember the word. It doesn’t sound right. Nothing does.

"Astronomer?" He asks. She shakes her head. She's smiling, but her eyes are dark. Dark and blue.

"It doesn't matter, anyway," she says. "We should probably stop."

"Stop?"

She smiles again, her eyes bluer still.

No, he realizes. Not blue. Sad.

"It's time to wake up," she murmurs. He reaches for her, but it's too late. She fades, and he's left alone drifting under the stretching stars.

(Astronaut, he thinks, between planets and stardust. He remembers.)

...

fin.

"Are you saying I'm color-blind?"

She laughs again.

"Oh, no," she says. "Not color-blind at all. Your color blindness is just a side effect of your memory. You remember some colors well, and it doesn't matter what color the sky or a flower is, you can recognize it. So, yes. Your color blindness is your memory of colors."

"How is it my memory?" he asks, and though he could never be color-blind, he can still remember colors well enough to recognize the colors of the rainbow on the horizon as clouds drift by the sky.

"Maybe your color blindness is what happens when you spend so much time remembering color and color and color," she suggests, and somehow some part of him knows what she means is remembering me. Remembering my smile.

"Oh," he says. He considers it.

They are silent, for a time, until a sound cuts through the night air, crying through his whole body with a low swish of noise. He thinks he hears a whistling, and then it's back again. Then it's different, maybe growing louder, and he wonders if it's a ringing, but the sound gets fainter, so faint that he begins to think he imagined it.

"Is that the whistle?" she asks, and he can hear the alarm in her voice.

"Did it start again? Is this world going to end?" She whispers it, the sound again, and the sound grows closer, an elongated screech. The whistle never ceases.

The whistling sounds in every direction, like a swarm of insects.

And the smell is the worst, the most awful smell, like bad meat, or a stagnant ditch full of mud and dirt and rotten meat. He can barely breathe, and can barely see through the curtain of fog. He stands, reaching toward her, trying to hear her, but everything around him is changing.

"What is it?" she asks, and her voice is lost, lost in the darkness. She is lost. She is gone.

The smell, a putrid odor like rotten meat, begins to affect his mind, and he cannot remember her words.

There's something blue (sad) behind his eyelids. He tries to look and discovers that he can't.

"What's that?" he asks. He's in the clearing, still dressed in the dark color of morning (mourning), and everything is out of place, though he can't see it.

"It's my color. It's blue." He stares at it.

"My favorite color. Blue. And there's something pink around it. Couldn't see that before. It's pink."

The colors, he thinks. Those are colors. The whistling sound, I must have heard that noise before.

(The whistling doesn't sound like whistling at all. It sounds like heartbreak. It sounds like a scream.)

That's why I can't remember her. I remember colors, and it's like there's a wall in my mind, because I remember color, color and nothing else, color and her smile, the beginning, the middle, and not ever the end.

"I remember colors," he says. "Now let me remember her."

And he remembers pink, he remembers the smell. The whistle (the scream).

(Remembers she died. Remembers he wasn't there to save her.)

There's something red on the sand. It's a bouquet of roses he's picked. Pink and red. Roses. The smell, his nose draws in is the scent of roses.

(He knows they smell like her, but the moment's passed. Once again, he can't remember her.

He thinks, he must not have been hers. She must have not been in love.)

epilogue.

It is dawn when he wants to close his eyes and remember. But he tries not to think about it. He closes his eyes slowly, praying silently to the skies, barely able to imagine that the next time he opens his eyes, maybe they'll be different.

"... like his dreams," he whispers under his breath.

"... and her dreams."

"... like everything here." His steps seem slow today. Steady. Better than any other morning. Fresh.

"Just like his memories. Rest easy, Lucien."

(When the apartment door opens, it’s Ares who emerges.)

this is where im legally obligated to tell u I'm slowly being converted to a comp neuro nerd so i went and read the github of the language learning model inferkit uses, megatron-11b, and it'S hella cool but basically if anyone is worried. no it is not trained on the words u provide it-- the sentence structure/word information that the model 'learns' from is scripts made by the dev. so uh. basically, it's 'learned' all it will about language based on these provided scripts of vocab and sentence structure so when you give it a paragraph of writing, all it's doing is 'reacting' to your words by using its memory of these writing rules to predict (and auto-generate) what words it thinks will come next (the algorithm runs a tON of probability computations and this is the 'thinking' and predicting.)

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #val writes #or rather #ai writes val interpreTS #ghosts. in the MACHINE hnhkfdljgfdk #u didn't hear it here but i am in love with machine learning and the idea of. humans training machines in their image. and learning more ab #out themselves (or their research) through what the machine gives back. we are just. searching for those echoes of consciousness in what th #programs reflect back to uS! the singularity! one day. wE will find it. #kisses to everyone who didn't understand dark night fireworks this is the Vibe i was going for #even i don't understand this <3

[echo-three-one]

A Forgotten Memory

An Alex x OC fic

Link to chapter 1 (here)

Prev (XI - Alex)

Next (XIII - Alex)

Reviews Appreciated. Enjoy the fic!

XII - Samantha

She never expected Alex to handle the situation maturely. She expected him to badger him into going with him on that vacation. She wanted to go for closure's sake, but that would be too unfair for him. He wouldn't want that. Alex was a perfect boyfriend material for her, it's a shame he's a CIA agent.

She gave him a thumbs up as he raised an olive green shirt he tried on, honestly she thought he'd look good on any outfit. She opted on simple clothing as all of this were just temporary and Alex already made the call and would extract them to safety the day after tomorrow. A deep sigh as the idea that it's all over.

They spent the rest of the day at their room. The tv tuned in to local news, talking in a language she found incomprehensible. Alex seemed to be intently watching, guess he's the kind of person who's really into current events, translating headlines for her, which she found kinda sweet.

Samantha plopped her head on her mattress, they apparently rented separate beds, making her think this was another sign from whatever Fates were weaving their destinies, to which she almost want to believe in.

"Real for your thoughts?" Alex joked, offering her a coin from the country they're in. Samantha once again laughed at him for it, he really knows how to cheer her up.

"Say, if you weren't a "CIA Agent", what would you be?" she asked, mouthing the term CIA Agent.

Alex hummed as he thought of an answer.

"Dad always said I'm good with people. That's why he wanted me to pursue Sales or Marketing or any Business course." he chuckled at the idea.

"I bet you'd look good in a suit." Samantha chimed in, mentally fighting herself not to imagine him in one. She has to let go of him, for her own heart's sake.

"Yeah? I wore it a few times. I actually feel like a hundred grand when I wore it." he smiled as his eyes trailed off to memory lane. Samantha tried her best not to admire the scenery infront of her. This was harder than she thought.

"I wonder if our paths would cross if we were somebody else..." Samantha asked another follow up question.

"Maybe, I'll get sick and I'd be admitted to a hospital you're stationed to." He replied, amused at the story he's forged.

"Yeah, what are the odds." She dismissed, laughing at the absurdity of his imagination.

"I'm gonna miss you." He stated, completely off topic and completely serious. Samantha thought she already cried everything she could for today, but tears started welling once again. She felt that her movements were automatic, as she quickly dove to Alex's bed and tackled him with a hug. Alex didn't hesitate and quickly gave her a kiss. It felt hot, wet and longing. As if they were deprived from each other for a very long time, their tongues clashed inside their mouths, as they held their breaths neither one of them wanted to break free from each other.

Their hands started grazing against each other, desperately longing for each others touch, his rough palm against her smooth thigh. Each slide sent shivers throughout her whole body. She convinced herself that this could help her move on, even though she believed it would just worsen their case, but she was only human and this what what she yearned for ever since last night. She was willing to add one last memory of him, one she convinced herself to be the final one.

Alex was very responsive to her, he couldn't deny that he liked where this was going. Besides, he was the one who bargained her for an extension. He lied down and let her take the lead, following what she wanted to happen and letting her take over. Following every order she whispers without hesitation. He understands what she felt and he feels the same. They'll be away from each other in two days, it's only reasonable to make these count.

###

Samantha traced Alex's cheek with her index finger, feeling the thick beard brush against it as she slides it up his hair, spreading her palm and feeling his head with it. She never felt this sexually contented in quite a while, a feeling she's deprived of after the loss of her long term boyfriend. Her touch seemed to startle him as he slowly opened his eyes and smiled, letting out a sexy groan and reaching for her. Samantha shifted her position so Alex could spoon her from behind, letting his warm body heat up her naked back. She let out a contented sigh and slowly urged herself to sleep.

~

The sound of children lauging and running outside the streets woke Samantha up, with a quick glance she found out that Alex was nowhere to be found. She hastily put on her clothes and looked at the window. A sigh of relief escaped her nostrils when she found him playing with the children. It was a heartwarming view, adding fuel to the flame labeled "My love for this Man", a flame slowly being extinguished by time. The kids stopped playing and started pointing out to the sky, waving like excited people when Titanic left the dock. She saw Alex turn to her and gave her a sad frown.

"I thought it was tomorrow." Samantha asked as soon as Alex entered the room, quickly picking up the little things they owned.

"I'm also worried why we got extracted earlier." Alex replied, holding her shoulders and staring at her. He's CIA but Samantha could actuly feel the sadness in his aura, despite him good at concealing emotion.

Samantha followed as they make their way to the aircraft.

"Why is it a day earlier?" She heard Alex yell as the loud whirring of the propeller filled the area.

"It's secret orders. The Head believes that the assumption that someone within the CIA is in kahoots with Nero is still in play." the pilot replied. Alex tapped his shoulder and escorted her to the plane. She couldn't believe it, but she's flying home. A plethora of mixed emotions overwhelmed her as they slowly ascended from the little town which housed them for a day, the view of it getting smaller and smaller as they flew farther away back home.

As soon as they descended and stepped out of the plane, she quickly pulled Alex for one last message. He's going to be busy now as she overheard the mole they're trying to catch.

"Hey. Guess I brought you home safe, after all." He laughs, tapping her shoulder.

"Yeah. You're a man of your word after all." She smiled and hugged him tight, not minding the people around them. Then from the corner of her eye, a tall intimidating figure stood. It was her father.

"I guess this is goodbye." She whispered.

"We could still talk after the briefing." Alex countered, still hopeful.

"My Dad's here. He's going to send me away. Thanks Alex... For everything... I'm sorry I can't be there for you..." she sobbed.

"I fully understand, Samantha. You're a memory worth treasuring. Heck, maybe when I retire, you're still ummm available.. so why not?" he joked. A joke he wished would be half true.

"Don't get your hopes too high, Alex. I don't want to live waiting for uncertainty. I'm done with that." She smiled and bid him one last goodbye. Tears were shed and hearts were broken... but life must continue to go on and experiences will then become teachers for the future. Samantha thought, the idea of moving on from two men in a span of a month was tiresome and heart aching, but she believed that she's strong enough to face it all in due time.

Alex walked away to the briefing room not leaving his eye on her, Samantha did the same as she walked to his father. They're both going to miss each other a LOT.

"My beautiful Sammy! You're safe!" Richard Coleman, her father, hugged her dearly. She could feel his worry fade away the moment he saw her in one piece.

"Dad." she cried.

"I'm sorry I brought you in this mess... I tried to make your life normal but-" the head apologized and Samantha cut him off.

"It's okay Dad. I could handle the experience. Besides, the CIA did a good job protecting me. And that's on you, right?" She laughed, trying to hide the pain.

"I see you've acquainted yourself to my general duties." he replied.

"Yeah. A little bit."

"I've come to make amends, as a father and as the Head of National Defense." The tone shifted seriously, Samantha's heart raced at what's going to happen next.

~

"MK Ultra's successful memory alteration serum." The doctor proudly said infront of the head of defense and his daughter.

"Directly injected to the subject along with a narration of a certain script, made by our scriptwriters, we are able to implant, alter or delete selected memories from our patient." he added. Samantha shuddered at the idea, it's somehow cruel and inhumane but also what she might need to live a normal life.

"This means we could remove her memories of the IP address and everything that's happened to her in the past weeks?" Richard queried.

"Yes, we could make it look like she had a vacation somewhere." the scientist replied.

"She has to make a detail of events that we could forge. If she cooperates, this will be a 100% success." The scientist supplemented once again.

"So, what do you say, Sammy? Is this enough for you to start a normal life?" Richard asked, Samantha was overwhelmed at the decision she's going to make. It was too hard for her to let go of Alex's memories, but then again... they weren't meant to end up together anyway. A huge price to pay for a shot at a new life.

"Before I go, can I atleast have one last request?"

She spoke, determination filled her voice.

"Sure, what is it?" Richard agreed.

"A pen and paper." She said, tears falling out of her eyes.

#at this point I don't even know anymore #codmwfic #Alex x OC #ah yes

[arithesimp]

Best of Friends|

best friends- to enimes- to whatever the hell they have now. a very complicated relationship, that y/n y/l/n and Draco Malfoy have, chances are they won't figure it out any time soon

WARNINGS:none that i can think of

a/n - i wrote this on tumblr so i couldn't do everything properly sorry for the grammer

Slytherin!FEM¡ reader X Draco

y/n and Draco had been friends since they were two, their parents were best friends, and business partners, neither of them had much loving parents. only having their mom's and each other for support, "you two will eventually understand." was all their fathers said to them, never once did they know what that meant, and they never will.

starting their first year, they had one order, make friends with Harry, Draco went with a more aggressive interduction, whislt y/n went with a softer one- while neither of them were in Harry's favour, y/n was still given a nodd or short talks in the hallway.

in second year y/n began to hang out with Blaise zabni, of course she still hung out with Draco, just less. this of course made Draco angry, many arguments happened that year, "i can have more friends than you!" "so you're just gonna abandon me?!"

in third year they became super close friends again, like cuddling and kissing and so on, however that all changed when, Pansy and Draco started dating and Blaise and y/n started dating. Pansy and Draco didn't last long, "Pansy! why are you always down my throat?! for godric's sake! it's always 'Draco this and Draco that' just shut up!" "fine! maybe you'd be better off without me!" "i would be!"

they got back together after a day. but ended up breaking up the third week of school, for good

y/n and Blaise never fought though, unless it was about candy or food "no, i got that one!" "no- i did you got the every flavour beans!" The two dated for the first half of the semester.

Thats where we start our story.

y/n and Draco we're talking with Blaise, y/n and Blaise hand in hand, all three laughing about how Hermione had tripped in class today. the trio was walking to hagrids new class, care of magical creatures.

"Draco i swear if you agatate that- freak of nature that we'll see in class today i'm killing you." y/n said as Draco was complaining about that "oaf" as he called hagird teaching classes.

"Draco you're just dramatic." Blaise said adding onto y/n's point. "says the one who cried about charms last week" Draco fired back

"yeah but you were crying over potions yesterday, Draco" y/n said, "shut up- you cried over that muggle song you heard last month!" Draco and Blaise said in unsion.

"ulch! no, The story is a really sad and emotional song!" y/n defended her self, "look theres potter and his cult" y/n whispered

Draco looked up and sure enough the golden trio was standing right there "pottah! do you go anywhere without your possy?" Draco yelled

"wha'dya want malfoy?" Ron asked rolling his eyes "just wondering why potter's always with you, and the mudblood." Blaise said

"Blaise elias zabni, i will hex the hell outta you if say that again." y/n said grabbing her wand out of her robes, "sorry,love" he said looking down at his shoes

"malfoy why do you look so embarrassed all of a sudden?" Harry spoke up, pointing out his blush. "oh thats funny pottah! i don't get embarrassed." he said quickly looking away from the couple.

"Harry, ronalad, let's let the love triangle figure it's self out." Hermione said grabing the boys robes and turning them around "not so fast bush tail." y/n spoke up

"y/n you're so nice, if you'd stop hanging out with them you'd be much nicer." Hermione said turning around, putting her hand on her hip "i suppose it's because you need the attention from them, you wanna be notcied" Hermione added

"what did you just say to me?" y/n said pulling out her wand "i said, you hang out with them because you wanna be noticed, you want every to either want you, or be envious of you." she said

"you little-" y/n began drawing her wand as did Hermione but the boys on each side managed to hold the girls back and calm them down. y/n began walking again, shoving past them, pushing Hermione down and kicking her slightly before walking on "that'll teach you to disrespect me."

of course this angered Ron and Harry "y/l/n- how dare you?!?" Harry said drawing his wand "eat slu-" Harry barley got his words out before Draco shouted "STUPEFY!" lauging along with Blaise and walking off

"watch it you three, i don't play nicley if you're on my bad side." y/n said scowling at the girl just now getting up, the scarheaded boy regaing stablity, and the readheaded boy still looking at the two boys walking to the class.

at last they were in hagirds class, "this looks interesting." y/n said sighing, after hagrid explained everything, he asked the class whi wanted to try, every one took a step back except for y/n was zoned out, throwing stones at some kids in the class, and Harry who had his head in the clouds.

"grea! yuh two c'mon den! hop on!" he said grabbing the two and putting them on the hippogroff, "no! i am not! hagird you put me down this second or i'll sue! put me down!" y/n and Harry protested.

once the two were seated on the createre hagird explained some more stuff to the class real quick "Harry- no tension after this, got it? we won't talk we'll just sit and enjoy, got it?" y/n asked, Harry nodded

"righ then off ye go!" he said smacking buckbeak so it takes off. it was pretty eventful but due to the new found rules, Harry was the only one enjoying it.

a little over half y/n started enjoying it to, feeling the wind through her hair, streching out her arms along with Harry "this is actually kinda fun!" y/n yelled "yeah i guess" he said while holding back a laugh

"shush scarhead" she said smiling slightly. when they landed the two's hair was a complete mess, Draco being jealous as usual decided to make the greatest desecion and yell at the animal "not so big and bad are you" he began "d- d, don't do it." 'd' was y/n's nickname for Draco, and it gave him butterflies every time she said it so he always obliged

but this time he ignored the butterflies "you great big ugly brute." he yelled, this offened the hippogroff so it clawed at him, pushing Draco down "d!" she yelled letting go of Blaise's hand to run of to him "i'll sue you hagird! i will!" she yelled "it's killed meh it's killed meh!" he groaned, rolling on the floor.

"it's alright Draco, hagird help him!" she said holding her best friend's hand "righ well i tak em ta thea hospital wing" he said picking Draco up, y/n quickly followed after kissing Blaise goodbye "hurry hagird we have to get him to the hospital wing!" y/n explained

"i'll get you back for this! and your bloody chiken!" he said "hagird he's hallucinating!" she said "nuh he's noh" hagird rolled his eyes "he's jus exagratin'" hagird explained

"oh okay" she said letting out a heafty breath.

once they got to the hospital wing y/n sat next to Draco immediately, "d?! you alright?" she asked putting her hand on top of him "mhm" he said

"i can't believe you nearly got yourself killed this early in the year." y/n said laughing "hush y/l/n" he said rolling his eyes "right well Blaise said he needed to talk to me after class ealier so i'll be back later" she said getting up and kissing him

she was in for a treat.

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Too much said

A/N: This was requested by an anon, I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! If anyone has any requests please let me now! 

Summary; After a long and terrible day for Richie, he gets into a fight with Eddie, worsening his day. 

Warnings: a lot of curse words. 

The fight happened so fast and unexpected that Richie was left blindsided. Sure, Eddie and him have their arguments from time to time, but never have they been so cruel and vile before.

It’s honestly Richie’s fault, both for starting the fight and pursuing it, and there’s no excuse that he can give obtaining why he did that.

See, Eddie has this gift where he sees straight through Richie, past all the layers of defense and deflection until he comes across the real, raw Richie, and most of the time Richie loves that about him. But at times, it unnerves him too. The amount of layers he manages to surpass baffles Richie, no number of walls stopping him from getting to the truth.  He scratches and tears to uncover everything about him, leaving him torn open for the world to witness. That’s how it feels at least, and Richie can’t help but want to scurry away from it sometimes.

No one has ever cared about him enough to do something like that, most noticed his overload of jokes and his overly outgoing personality and walked, no ran, away as fast they could. Richie was fine with that, as he was only able to see his negatives anyway and figured they were all right for doing so, but Eddie proves to him everyday that he is worth it. The anxiety in his mind and Eddie fight each other every day, thankfully with Eddie victorious, but the days Richie does succumb to his fears, give way to bad moods and even worse decisions.

The fight started with a simple question on Eddie’s part, an innocent inquiry that had no business leading up to the brawl it did.  

‘Hey Richie, you okay? I haven’t heard you spout a joke all day.’ He says with a teasing smile, yet the corners of his lips a tad too low to genuine, a strong indicator that he’s faking the chaff, and worry is hidden behind it.

And that’s the loaded question isn’t it? A question that so many answers can be given too, either truth or lie, and a query that no is able to verify anyway. Today sucked for Richie, from waking up late to blowing his interview with the board directors and spilling water over his computer causing it to crash and delete all the documents on which he wrote his new material.

During the day Eddie texted to ask if he wanted to go out shopping for new suits that are required for Ben and Bev’s wedding. ‘You can’t wear a Hawaiian shirt to my wedding Richie. I’m a fashion designer.’

Richie agreed, not that he was jumping on the opportunity to go in and out of stores, but solely for spending time with Eddie, but then he got the text message. That god-for-saken text message highlighted the terrible day. He refused to mull over that now though, so while he adjust his smile to appear naturally, he nodded to Eddie.

‘I’m fine Eds, why wouldn’t I be?’

Eddie’s brow twitches, then stills and smooths out again. He’s suppressing his telltale of wary that Richie points out time and time again to taunt him.

‘Are you sure? Cause I have never heard you in my life say no to fast-food,’ he pushes.

Richie sighs inaudible, and walks over their liquor cabinet in the living room, pulling out a bottle of red wine, the only kind of alcoholic drink Eddie likes.

‘Like I said Spaghetti, I’m fine, tired but good.’

Grabbing two wine glasses by the stem, per Eddie’s requests, he uncorks the bottle and pours plenty of the drink into it and offers one to Eddie.

Eddie takes it with a small ‘thank you’, and shuffles over to their couch, patting the seat next to him to invite Richie over.

Too obvious, Richie’s mind hisses at him, use a joke, do anything to distract him from your mood so he doesn’t asks questions.

‘We’re not eating McDonalds’ right now because I wanted to cook you spaghetti, Spaghetti’, Richie explains with a grin, watching as Eddie works himself up again. During a party where he was highly intoxicated, Eddie entrusted Richie that he cherishes the nickname ‘Eds’, but he still absolutely despises the nickname Spaghetti.

‘Fuck you’, he responds with so much conviction that Richie blanches for a second, a stab of sadness straight to the heart, until he sees Eddie’s own teasing smile.

‘And anyway, you’re going to cook? I would love to be able to have a kitchen. Remember how you burned an oven pizza when we were kids?’ He adds dryly.

‘Oh Eds, you wound me. I was ten.’

‘Old enough to read a clock then.’ While chuckling, they both take a sip of their drink.

They fall back into their old pattern of ribbing and mocking, and Richie believes for a moment that he got away with his behavior. He’s not that lucky.

When the chuckling subsides, Eddie fixes Richie with a stern look, his hand falling on top of Richie’s knee.

‘Rich, you hate cooking. Tell me what’s going on so I can help you.’

He knock the glass of wine back completely to the last drop, gulping it down in an effort to get drunk. ‘Will you get off my back already?’

That was a mistake, Richie never talks to Eddie that way, especially not for something so insignificant.

Eddie’s face hardens, not angry or upset, but determined, and that tells Richie that he’s not backing down now, it’s not in his nature.

‘Now I’m sure somethings wrong. Was it Steve, did he push you again to go on tour? You declined that once before, he needs to accept it.’

Richie slams the glass on the coffee table a little too harshly, while knocking Eddie’s hand of his knee and scrambling up from the sofa to pace up and down.

‘It’s not Steve, drop it Eddie I mean it. I don’t wanna talk about it.’

The lack of jabs is disturbing, so Eddie is not giving up, following Richie and attempting to hug him. Richie rejects the hug, and huffs as he storm through the backdoor into the yard to cool himself off.  

The last thing he wants is to upset Eddie, but he has to be alone to get his mind in order, and maybe to wallow in self-pity.

Eddie trudges on the patio behind him, not allowing him to gain a second of peace. All traces of teasing disappeared and any underlying worry is now visible on the surface. Richie lights a cigarette, something he distanced himself from as soon as Eddie returned in his life, his fingers trembling harshly making it hard to light it.

A scowl is omnipresent on Eddie’s face, his lips tilted in distain, waving away the smoke with his hand despite Richie not having even lit it yet. Tears tingle to escape but Richie stubbornly fights then, but even he can tell that Eddie notices them. He loathes crying in front of others, Eddie not being an exception, and now it’s even worse because he’s striving to pretend that he’s good.

‘Come on Rich. What’s wrong with you today?’ Eddie questions, itching to grab the cigarette from Richie and disposing of it.

‘There’s nothing wrong with me. What’s wrong with you?’ Richie begins hysterically. He wishes Eddie would let him be, so that he’s blind to all of the bad things that make Richie Richie. His mind is firing solutions to the situation, and way that he can change the subject.

‘Jesus fucking Christ, you’re acting like your mother, following me around all the time, demanding to know what’s wrong with me, I can have some free time of my own you know?’

The moment the words fly out of his mouth, Richie aches to swallow them back in. He hankers to beat them to dust, set them on fire and then bury them so deep that no one ever lays eyes on them again.

Eddie’s face turns, the scowl evaporating and leaving a defeated face in it’s wake. The tears that were building a minute ago dry up too, and the cigarette falls uselessly to the ground. ‘Eds, I’m so so sorry’, Richie tries, his nails digging in his palm at his self-hatred, his trash-mouth once again getting him in trouble.  

Not looking at him, Eddie stares at a far away spot near the back of their garden, silent and still. Richie briefly considers begging on his knees for forgiveness, and spout out a one-liner, or explaining what got him so bothered, but none of that comes close to the apology Eddie deserves.

‘Fine, fuck off then’, Eddie mutters, turning on his heels and disappearing in the house, banging the patio door shut in rage.

Richie sniffles, feeling stupider than he has ever felt in his life. He inhales deeply to stop the tears, having no right to cry himself now, and scurry’s to catch up to his boyfriend.

The house is silent, no Eddie anywhere in sight, and his shoes are missing too. When Richie checks the cabinet where all their keys reside, he observes that the front-, and car-keys are missing. Eddie left, and Richie is clueless as to where he is.

‘Shit’, he says, the panic building and building until every pore of his being is filled with a negative energy.

The urge to hit himself over the head is astounding, but he resists it in favor of grabbing his phone and calling Eddie.

Ironic, considering the reason Richie got pissed off was because Eddie gave him no space. The phone rings three times before Richie realizes that the ringing is coming from inside the house, placed on the kitchen counter top, odd since Eddie never travels without it.

Most likely Eddie put it there to show Richie there’s no point in calling him, and Richie nearly screams in frustration. He’s so fucking stupid.

He decides to try Bill instead, scrolling trough every contact until he finds it, and then stops. Bill might be Eddie’s best friend, but there’s no way Eddie would pay him a visit or discus this with him. He’s an a grade idiot about relationship, and anyway, Eddie only has conversations about his mom with one person.

Richie clicks out of Bill’s contact and seeks out Bev’s, the picture of her smiling face with sunglasses on greeting him. He’s in for an earful with Bev he knows, but if it helps him find Eddie, Richie is willing to endure it.

She answers the phone after the second dial, her breathing heavy yet she’s laughing too.

‘Ben hold on one second, it’s Richie.’

‘Hey Bev’, Richie maffles, leaning his back against the wall and tilting his head upwards. If only the day would start over.

‘No Nicknames? Okay what did you do?’ Bev asks him straight to the point, no beating around the bush.  

‘I messed up.’ Richie confesses, holding his breath to wait for Bev’s answer. She halts for a second, then says; ‘Honey, you’re kind of an idiot, I’m going to need more information than that.’

‘Badly. I told Eddie that he was acting just like his mother.’ Repeating the words only hammer in Richie’s head how much he fucked up, how asshole of him it was to say such a thing.

‘Oh Richie. Why did you do that?’

‘I was upset, and I don’t know. There’s no excuse. But he ran off and took the car and I don’t know where he is, has he called you?’, he begs, a mantra in his sounding ‘please, please.’ He will never forgive himself if something happened to Eddie and it was his fault.

‘No he hasn’t’, Bev groans. ‘Make this right Richie, you know how sensitive a subject this is.’

‘Yeah I know, thanks Bev. I’ll talk to you later.’

‘Oh hey Richie, maybe you can check out the lake? I think he jogs there.’ Without thanking her, Richie abruptly ends the call, rushing for their other car. Of course the lake, how did he not think of that?

Barely bothering to close the car door, Richie is already speeding away, until he drives on the main road. Traffic is jammed in L.A, moving an inch in 15 minutes, as it often it, unconcerning about the hurry Richie is under.

He bangs his hands against the steering wheel, and allows himself one yell in the confinements of his car, to let all the frustrated energy out, the scream galloping in the vehicle. A woman’s head whirls his way from the car beside him,  a perfectly trimmed eyebrow raising.

Richie laughs awkwardly, gesturing his hands in front of him. ‘Traffic, what can you do huh?’ He mouths, The woman merely breathes through her nose and returns her attention to the cars in front of her, ignoring his antics as best she can.

It remains embarrassing between them up to the intersection where they split up, Richie taking a U-turn. The five minute drive from there to home took him twenty minutes today.  

The lake-park in question is one that Richie only tagged along for once, back when he promised Eddie to jog along side him every so often, but after that first time and Richie not being able to move for a day, he gave up that idea.

Still, he locates it fairly easy, a small lake surrounded by trees and walking trails with a huge parking lot attached to it. Seriously, Richie bets that the parking lot is bigger than the actual park.

Richie misses the car Eddie occupied, but since it’s such a large space, that means nothing, and so he parks, and sets out to find him.

A cold breeze washes over, causing him to shiver and clench his jacket tighter over himself. He hopes Eddie took a jacket as well.

After an intensive search, Richie finally descries Eddie, sitting on the park bench that he covered in his overalls. Forgetting the situation for an instant, Richie chuckles, the whole thing so Eddie that his heart soars and sings.

The grass crunches under his feet as he approaches, loud enough apparently that Eddie is alerted and glances Richie’s way. He doesn’t smile or states anything, he just monitors Richie and what he does.

On the way here, Richie’s mind was so occupied that he forgot to think of what to say when he saw Eddie again, and now he’s coming up blank, the only words that mull in his head are related to an apology, and proving to Eddie that he knows he fucked up.

‘Eds, I’m so, so sorry.’ Richie tries, still two steps away from where Eddie is seated, unsure if he’s allowed to come any closer. He balances himself from the tip of his toes to the ball of his foot, rocking back and forth. He would love to humor Eddie, but that might not go down well, and another fight, no matter how mundane, is the last thing they need right now.

‘It’s not enough of an apology and I know that I’m just so sorry and I wish I would have never said it.’

‘She didn’t care about me you know?’ Eddie interrupts him, starting a whole new conversation that Richie did not expect they we’re going to have.

‘Sure, she loomed over my shoulder at every turn and asked how I felt every fucking day, but she didn’t care. What she cared about was being portrayed as this godsend and a way to do that was by making me ill, but if I died she would have been fine with that, that’s another to way to gain attention.’

Richie inches closer, dropping down next to Eddie but refraining himself from touching him, because he uncertainty loomed in the back of his mind.

‘I love you Richie, even when you’re a fucking asshole, and I’d rather you didn’t die, even though right now I’d really like to yell at you. I’m not her.’

With a startle chortle, Richie nods his head in agreement. ‘I’d let you, I deserve it. ’ Eddie rolled his eyes, pushing Richie lightly, not enough to hurt or push him off the bench, no more like a friend type of punch.

‘No you don’t. You’re a dumb ass sometimes and can be absolutely infuriating, but I shouldn’t have pushed you so much in the first place.’

‘I cherish that you care so much about me Eds, I wasn’t ready to talk, but that gave me no right to say such a thing You’re nothing like her, you don’t even resemble her at all, not even if you tried. I was bottling shit up again and I avoided the subject, but really I needed to be honest with you. I hope you can forgive me.’ Eddie merely shrugs, the small smile playing on his features when he looks up at Richie again giving him away.  

Tentatively, Richie adds; ‘I guess I’m usually that pushes I you know what I mean, both in our relationship and me and your mother’s.’

The joke strikes the jackpot, Eddie snorting a hearty laugh, shaking his head in disbelieve. ‘And I assumed your jokes couldn’t get any worse than those you performed when you started.’

‘Rude.’

‘You know what’s rude? Your boyfriend turning you into a laughing stock at Saturday night live, I know your moves bitch, and I’m onto you.’ Eddie jabs back, his bite and fiery spirit back on board.

Their lips connect, Richie pouring all his feelings and emotions into, conveying the many apologies he hadn’t spoken out loud. Eddie reciprocates enthusiastically, his hands sliding up in Richie’s hair, winding around a curl and tugging until they separate.

‘You ever say something like that again and you won’t get away with it that easily okay dumb ass?’ Eddie baits, waiting for Richie’s agreement.

‘Oh, and also, I get tv privileges, I want to decide what we’re going to watch, when we’re going to watch it.’

‘Agreed’, Richie relents, so happy that they’re well on their way to making up, that he would say yes to anything.  

‘Now lets go home, my ass has been sitting here for way to long and it’s freezing off.’ Eddie states, standing up and seizing a hold of his cardigan.

‘Oh no, not my Spaghetti’s ass, what ever would I do without it?’

Entering the house again when they make it home, Eddie clasps his phone in his hands, frowning at the missed calls Bev left him.

‘Hey, why is Beverly calling me?’

‘Yeah, I don’t think we’ll be able to go visit for a while, I may or may not have ended the call without saying goodbye.’

#reddie #reddie fight #hurt comfort #making up #My writing #richie tozier #richie tozier imagine #Richie x Eddie #eddie kaspbrack #eddie kaspbrak imagine #it chapter two imagine #it chapter 2 #mentioned Beverly Marsh

[pietromaxi]

you’re a bad guy

request: @fashionlive15 Hi Sahar!! How are you? I saw that you were taking much request, solo can I please have o me with the reader being Tony's daughter and dating cap during civil war and she is on caps side until she learns that Bucky killed her grandparents and then Steve almost kills Tony and she is so sad and feels betrayed (it could be more that one part if want) Hope you have a great day!

hi angel! i really really love this concept, i highkey went overkill with this one but i like the way it turned out. hope you like it!

warnings: violence, ANGST!, like one (1) kiss?, blood?? cursing

——

for the first time in your life, you and your dad seriously butted heads. you would argue over small things, like: tony putting empty orange juice containers back in the fridge, or tony putting a red sock in with your crisp white clothes, or tony- okay so it was usually always tony’s fault.

but this time, who’s fault was it? neither of you could help that you believed in something so strongly you sided against eachother.

“i’m not signing that shit!” your chest heaved up and down as you and your father had an intense stare down.

“Y/N Y/M/N stark, sign the goddamn papers or so help me you will be grounded until you’re in an old lady home!” tony was basically foaming at the mouth. it was a serious hit to his ego knowing his baby wasn’t with him. his baby was with cap.

but here you are now, leaning on the side wall of the quinjet, listening to your beloved boyfriend and best friend talk about their past.

“you remember that time we had to ride back from rockaway beach in the back of that freezer truck?” bucky snorted and looked over at his best friend.

“was that the time we used our train money to buy hotdogs?” now it was your turn to laugh, both boys looked at you and smiled, steve pressing a kiss to your head.

“you blew three bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for a redhead.”

“oh god, bucky. three bucks? wasn’t that like three-hundred-dollars back then?” bucky looked over at you with a dopey smile, “something like that. what was her name again?”

“dolores. you called her dot.”

“she’s gotta be a hundred years old right now.”

“so are you boys.” you clapped a hand on each of their shoulders, moving to stand in between them. “real funny, y/n. real funny.”

the doors on the quinjet opened and you walked with bucky and steve up to a door, slightly ajar, hidden in some rock.

“he can’t have been here more than a few hours.” steve turned around to look at the two of you.

“long enough to wake them up.” you and bucky uttered the words at the same time. the three of you lauging lightly at the realization.

steve led the three of you into the cast bunker. you traveled down into the depths inside a caged elevator. you’ve always hated elevators, sighing, you moved closer to steve. he welcomed you with open arms and leander down to press a firm, but soft, kiss on your lips. “i love you.” he whisphered. steve had a bad feeling about this.

the elevator stops in the bowls of the bunker, the doors slide open with a high-pitched screech. steve reluctantly lets go of you, then nods to both you and bucky and heaves the cage door open. bucky readys his machine gun while you focus on the fire beginning to seep from your fingertips. the three of you walk down into the depths of a corridor, alongside a wall. bucky turns his head to look into an alcove along the corridor wall, it appears to be nothing but old technology so the three of you keep moving.

going up a small flight of metal stairs, steve shoves his way in front of you, earning a grunt in protest. “what? i don’t like you leading the way, you could get seriously hurt, doll.” sighing, steve clutches your hand just a little bit tighter. bucky stays behind you with his gun drawn.

at the sound of a large groan behind you, the three of you spun around, “you ready?”

“yeah.” immediately after bucky mumbled the one-word reply, iron doors were forced apart by none other than your imbecile of a father, his mask was currently off, he was holding it inbetween his hands. both you and steve lowered your weapons and stared in shock. bucky stayed stiff.

“you seem a little defensive.” of course your father would say that. you cautiously approached your father, steve followed closely behind, shield now being held up in front of his chest. “it’s been a long day.” you embraced your father tightly, smiling when he hugged back.

“at ease solider. i’m not currently after you.” tony held his hands up in defense as you went to stand beside steve, his pinky immediatley wrapped around your much smaller one, a simple gesture, but you two seemed to do it on every mission when holding hands seemed like a bit too much.

“then why are you here, daddy?” steve gripped your hand tighter, as you stared forward at your father.

“could be your story’s not so crazy. maybe. ross has no idea i’m here. i’d like to keep it that way. otherwise, i gotta arrest myself.” tony raised his eyebrows and shrugged, looking down at you, “i’m sorry this split us up, kiddo. you know i loved you through all of this.”

your dad’s words brought a wide smile to your blood and dirt caked face, “i love you too dad.”

steve glanced at you, and then to your dad, “well that sounds like a lot of paperwork. it’s good to see you tony.” steve lowered his shield, bucky flinched in reaction, but refused to lower his gun, eyes watching your fathers every move. 

“you too, cap. hey, manchurian candidate, you’re killing me. there’s a truce here. you can drop the huge thing you’ve got pointed in my face.” tony stared straight at bucky as steve signaled you can lower it.

cautiosuly, the four of you stalked down the corrdior, your pinky still held tightly in steve’s. very quickly, you approached a vast chamber, filled with standing capsules. tony stopped abruptly, “i got heat signatures.” 

steve’s eyes shot up immediatley, “how many?”

“uh, one.” your father’s confused eyes trailed over the three people standing before him, before looking back in front of him. 

as the four of you enter the chamber, dust bunnies dropped from the ceiling when the dim, yellowish lights flickered to life. a hazy, yellow mist begining to fill the capsules on the far wall. the four of you looked around, bewildered.

“if it’s any comfort, they died in their sleep. did you really think i wanted more of you?” a squeaky, russian voice filled the vast room, “what the hell?” bucky lowered his weapon when you lightly placed your hand on his forearm.

“i’m grateful to them, though. they brought you here...” suddenly a rat-like man wearing glasses appeared in the control room window. without thinking, steve hurled his sheild straight at the man, it hit the wall with a loud sound and flew straight back into steves hand. “...please, captian. the soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets.” 

your dad scoffed, stepping up infront of the three of you. cracking his kneck, he spoke, “i’m betting i can beat that.”

the small man spoke again, “oh, i’m sure you could, mr. stark. given time. but then you’d never know why you came.” tony scoffed again, even though you couldn’t see, you just knew your dad was rolling his eyes. classic move, dad.

“you killed innocent people in vienna just to bring us here?” steves grip on his shield and your, now bruised, pinky finger.

and again, the little man spoke, “i thought about nothing else for over a year. i studied you. i followed you. even your silly little girlfriend, there. but now that you’re standing here, i just realized... there’s a bit of green in the blue of your eyes. how nice to find a flaw.” 

“there’s actually some amber surrounding his pupil if you look close enough, guess you didn’t study well enough.” the first time you spoke, of course it would be sarcastic. after all, you are tony stark’s daughter. your dad held his suit-covered hand behind his back, silently saying ‘oh i know you didn’t just say that, give me a high-five, that was a good one.’ 

everyone else in the room seemed to ignore your little comment, steve continued his arguement, “you’re sokovian. is that what this is about?” 

you turned to face bucky, “i thought he was russian?” bucky cracked a tiny smile and turned back to the newly-named sokovian man.

“sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. no. i’m here because i made a promise.” 

steve’s lips tightened into a straight line, studying the man in front of him, “you lost someone?”

little sokovian man looked grave. after a few silent moments he clicked his tongue, “i lost everyone. and so will you.” after he began speaking an ancient tv roared to life, static, then nothing, then a date. december 16th 1991. you all stepped towards it. “an empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. but one which crumbles from within? that’s dead... forever.” the small sokovian disappeared right as the video began. 

the video plays, a car is forced off the road by the winter solider. bucky gulped loudly behind you, you could feel his heartrate jump. the winter solider rises and gets off his motorcycle. a man lies on the ground beside the car. a soft gasp leaves your lips. its grandpa howard. 

he whimpered, blood seeping from a cut on his head, “help my wife. please. help.” you closed your eyes tightly, you could hear the grandfather you’d never met crying out for help, anything. 

“sergeant barnes?”

“howard!”

you heard grunting, the crunching of bones, squelching blood, crying out. tony slumped to the ground, head in his hands. your eyes slowly opened, “did you know?” 

steve looked deep into your eyes, “i didn’t know it was him.”

“don’t bullshit me, rogers. did you know?” steve swallowed harshly, he was in deep shit. 

he looked up to meet your eyes, a fire blazed, brightly. your powers trying to come to the surface, he come see you fighting it, “yes.”

a hard punch went straight to steve’s nose, a shove to his chest, a kick to his shin. and he took it all, he knew he deserved it. bucky watched in horror, this was his fault. you turned straight to him, ignoring your boyfriend apologizing profusly, “you! you- you killed them! my family, bucky! how could you?” bucky looked at you pleadingly, his eyes said it all. “you. bucky barnes. you disgust me.” 

you lunged at him only to be grabbed by the waist, metal fingers doug into your waist, “dad! put me down now! stop! let go!” shouting everything you could, you tried your absolute hardest to get him to drop you. all to no avail. he opened a door and threw you inside, slamming it behind him. quickly, he held out the palm of his hand and welded the door frame to the door. you’re not getting out anytime soon. “this is my fight, y/n. don’t you dare try to get out.” 

your fists pounded on the door as you screamed, pleading your father to please just let you out. let you fight, let you avenge. 

you heard slight sentences through the door, after your screaming subsided. it was clear he wasn’t going to let you out, ever. “move!”

“it wasn’t him!”

it had been fifteen minutes. fifteen minutes of listening to the people who were once closet to your heart fight to the death. you’d been trying to burn a hole through the door, but like little sokovian man said, it was strong. 

the door started thinning, little by little. but this wasn’t going fast enough. you’d have to take another approach, would it be safe? you’d only tried this a few time during training and every time it almost knocked you out. serious naps always followed suit. 

taking a deep breath, you circled your hands much like when trying to make a fireball, but the motion was a bit different. it became slightly windy in the room, a light breeze blowing through your hair, not enough. thirty more seconds and you’d be busting this door down, concentrate. you could hear your dad and cap shouting, but bucky was silent. could he be... dead? 

after thirty seconds the small storage closet was becoming so windy all kinds of things were blowing off shelves. with one final breath and an outwards push of your arms, a tunnel of wind blew straight at the wall. blowing the door clean off. 

a cracked doorknob rolled past your feet, picking it up, you threw it straight at the back of cap’s head, hard. he let go of your dad, stepping back and cradling his neck, “baby?” he looked in your directon, wind whipped your hair around, fire spirting up from your fingertips, irisis bright red and glowing. steve had never seen you so angry, not at him at least.”dont. you. dare!” a ball, spitting fire was thrown straight at him. he held his sheild up and the ball exploded, much like a firework. 

you stared at him. red flashed inside your head, he had hurt your dad. he had lied to you. you screamed out and threw fireball after fireball at him. eyes burning bright red, tears of black pouring down your face. you looked like something straight out of a movie, and for the first time, steve felt scared. 

he dodged or blocked every fireball that fell from your fingertips, “y/n, please. don’t make me.” his eyes pleaded with you, as he looked from you to bucky’s gun, disgarded on the floor.

tony knew what he meant. oh no, he is not touching his iron baby. he lunged for steve, the two rolled on the floor throwing punches and kicks. blood spewing from their noses and mouths. bloody fists and crackes knucles coming in contact time and time again.

you fell to the floor, would steve really shoot you? would he really kill you? would he really-

“he’s my friend” 

“so was i.”

final punches and throws were thrown. steve had the upperhand, his shield was directly above your dad’s arc reactor. “no!”

with that, steve plunged his sheild into tony’s arc reactor. crushing it. blue light flickered and dwindled down until there was a dull glow. he left it there, standing tall and proud. straight out of your father’s chest.

“you’re a monster!” you sobbed vicisouly and crawled over to your father.

“y/n, dont.” steve whimpered as he helped bucky up.

“you-you could’ve killed him.” you grasped your fathers metal hand, holding it close to your chest.

steve shuddered. you sounded so broken. worse than the time he watched you cry as your father fell straight out of the wormhole in new york. that was the first time he met you. he wanted wanted nothing more than to hug you and apologize, but he couldn’t. much like now.

“you, steve rogers, are a bad guy. you’re just as bad as any other villian we’ve ever fought, you broke me. you broke us.”

he dipped his head low and wrapped his arm tighter around bucky, stablizing him. he grasped his shield and turned away. you scowled, after kissing your father on the head. 

“that shield doesn’t belong to you. you don’t deserve it. my grandfather made that sheild.”

and with that, he dropped his shield and limped away from you, and all your history together.

steve rogers was dead to you.

——

a/n hi!! i hope u guys like this. it’s my first fic so be nice please! xx

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes #steve rogers #tony stark #y/n stark #avengers #marvel #marvels the avengers #avengers x reader #tony stark x daughter!reader #bucky barnes x platonic!reader

[cuffufal]

I just can’t get you out of my head

“Can you do something for me, please? Can you give me a hickey instead, so I when I wake up tomorrow, I know I didn’t imagine this right here, right now.” 

I’m not that kind of person, I swear. Things like these never happen to me. But lately my life seems to have transformed into a movie. Which makes this situation so much more unbelievable. Some people might think I’m crazy for thinking this to be romantic. But it’s something I’ve been imagining since I was thirteen years old. While everyone else around me somehow got to find someone attracted to them at a party, I would sit all alone in a corner, reading or writing about this situation or just generally daydreaming to be picked-up by a random good-looking guy, just like all my other friends. I was the designated one. The one who was always alone. I was fine with it at first, but after a while you start asking yourself, if there’s something wrong with you. If guys feel repelled by you. If you’re even worth somebody’s attention. (Later I realised that it’s for the better, because some experiences are just not worth having. And I was lucky to have gotten away from that.) Until you pay attention to yourself. And when you’re content with who you are. When you feel the strongest. That’s when the good experiences happen. That’s when daydreams become reality. (Or even better.)

I had just gotten my nose pierced, spent two amazing weeks in England, recharged on energy and my self-esteem propelled upwards, I decided to go out. It was the beginning of the yearly carnival, which meant the festivites were just getting good. I decided to wear the (a little bit sexualised) Cleopatra dress I wore in the last musical production (which was the greatest thing happening in 2019) and really tried to get my make-up done right (which I was very proud of and also got a lot of compliments for it). So when I got asked by a (very attractive) bishop, who I was portraying, I answered: “A whitewashed cleopatra.” Unfortunately he was a bit to inebriated to understand what I meant and instead thought it had to do something with purity and sexuality. We ended up in a discussion whether feminism and equal rights are the same thing. Which lead to the two of us arguing about politics and whether the left wing is just as nationalistic as the right wing. (That’s a discussion I don’t wish to unpack again *shudders*) Which ended with us expressing our feelings towards the economy and climate change. (Where I found out that he’s an economics major). We would occasionally interrupted by people, who wanted in on the conversation, but they never seemed to be able to keep up with the two of us, so they would leave. We were so wrapped up in each other and who was wring adn who was right. There was a tension building between us... crackling, fizzling. His friend (dressed as a nun) would come over and interrupt the conversation with stupid stuff, kissing the guy or just generally being a nuisance. (And I have to say, I am really glad that he was.) 

The conversation tapered off and I had a moment to realise how gorgeous this guy was. Yet, he never made a move, so I just didn’t think of trying to make a move on him, though I usually take a chance on them. ( I didn’t think of a lot of things that night). Somehow, I guess this guy gave me the impression that he picks his girls, not the other way around. He seemed...too experienced. His friend, the nun, seemed to pick up on my vibes and came over again, as the conversation came to a halt. He looks at the both of us and after a moment of consideration he says: “So you either start beating eachother up right now, or you start kissing.” And the guy answers, “How about kissing while beating eachother up?” in a sly and suggestive tone and the two start arguing about the suggestion. They seem to think that I’d get creeped out by this kind of comments (which funnily enough, I usually do. I guess I was just too glad, that the nun gave me an opportunity to bag this guy after all.) So they both look a bit baffled when I answer honestly: “I’d rather go for option two.” The nun stares at us with a stupid grin on his face and says: “Then kiss.” 

We do. And it’s fucking spectacular. His lips are soft, yet firm against mine and he immediately takes the lead, wrapping his hands around my face. I melt into him, kissing him back. There’s a hint of a tongue lapping at my lips and my mind just shuts down. All I want right now is for him to not stop kissing me. We stop. And we look at eachother. And the nun is cackling, walking back to his friends, while they are all leering at us. “Come with me”, he whispers as he takes my hand and pulls me away. I feel apprehensive. I don’t wanna leave my friends. But the way he pulls me behind the nearest corner, leaning against the wall, pulling me close, kissing me again, I can’t help but think “Fuck them. I’ll enjoy this.” Not even two minutes later (and somehow a fucking eternity) we hear catcalls from far off. And he looks pissed off. “Stupid shits.” he hisses. “Let’s get away from here, they’re embarrassing me.” I laugh, as he takes my hand and I follow him up the stairs. 

We end up in a little passage, bright enough to see him, with just enough space on a tiny staircase to sit down. We sit and immediately he’s back to kissing me. Suddenly he stops. “Shit. You’re so beautiful." he breathes against my lips, as if he’s desperate to say it in this very moment. I gasp against his lips, caught off-guard by the sentiment. To me, this doesn’t feel real yet. I feel like I’m in a fever dream, just about to wake up.

From this point on, everything’s kind of blurry, because we were so caught up in our thing, we forgot about the time. And because our state of inebriation, which probably made me forget some things. Careful, from here on the narrative is unreliable. But I am certain that these things actually happened, just not in chronological order. 

His hands start wandering, setteling on my cheek, his thumbs stroking the skin there. Suddenly they are in my hair, gently tugging. Then down at the back of my neck, pulling me impossibly closer to him. Every once in a while we separate, because I’d start laughing or he’d breathe a compliment against my lips. We totally got lost in our desperation, time moving slow and somehow very fast. At one point his hands are tugging at my collar signalling me to move onto his lap, at which we fail miserably, because the stairs are to small. I slide onto the lower step and I hide my face into his shoulder. When I look up, I catch him looking at me with his amber brown eyes, pupils blown wide and the softest look on a face I’ve ever seen and my heart lurches painfully. “I don’t even know your name.” I whisper, without even realising it, until he smiles and says: “It’s Chris.” I stare up at him dreamily and answer, “Mine’s Matea.” He smiles and kisses me again. But I interrupt him again, now eager to learn more. “How old are you?” He smiles. “Twenty-six. Why? How old are you?” I look a bit sheepish and answer: “Would you believe me if I say that I’m not even twenty?” Silence. “But I’m turning twenty in a week!” I add and he laughs. “I believe that more than you being nineteen.” He kisses me again. And I melt into him. 

Every once in a while people would pass by and interrupt us, by catcalling or congratulating him on bagging me. And everytime I would blush and hide my face into his shoulder or neck. (It’s  fairly easy, because I wasn’t wearing my glasses that night). And he’d laugh lightly and tell me I’m beautiful. Or sexy. Or so clever. (And god, did that comment sit. It’s not like I don’t appreciate the expressions of physical attraction, since I’ve been plaguing myself with body-hate my whole adolescence. But that comment. Complimenting my intellect. I fucking love it.) One time, I remember distinctly, because he pulls me into him by touching my chin to kiss me, he says “You’re so sexy” and I groan. “You’re just saying that because of the alcohol.”, I grumble. And he just kisses me sweetly. “You are the most beautiful woman I met tonight.” he says, searching my eyes. And his look. His honey coloured eyes. Dark. Pupils dilated. He’s so earnest. We kiss again. 

Somehow we get into a conversation. I don’t know how it starts. But he tells me that he’s spanish. And that he’s studying econ and working part time. And then he asks me what I’m doing. I tell him about my plans. About how I like english, how I wanna major in it and move to the UK later on. He asks me why. And I try to tell him but I’m so distracted by him and then only thing I wanna do at that moment is kiss him. So I just whisper “fuck” and pull him in by the collar. Our lips meet in a searing kiss. He’s just as much into it as I am, his hands fisted in my hair and then resting in my neck, wandering down my shoulders, finding my waist, pulling me closer. He’s touching me so effortlessly, unthinkingly. Exploring in an innocent manner. And I feel so appreciated. So desired. And then suddenly there’s a song playing in the background. 

And it’s so ironic, looking back, because it’s Maroon 5′s “Payphone” (the remix version, we’re at a party after all) playing and I’m laughing. I’m lauging because that song’s so 2012. And it’s so melodramatic. Imagine meeting the perfect person and not being able to reach them anymore. But in that moment, I just remembered all the instances I got left alone at parties by my friends, because they found this cute guy and were all over each other within minutes, while I was sitting in the corner hoping the same would happen to me. All these stories I wrote about people meeting at parties and get into convoluted romcom-esque poltlines, sprung from these places in the corner, my hopes that at least this night I’d find somebody. And now I did. And he’s amazing. And I tell him that, prefacing with “I hope this doesn’t sound to childish or cheesy.” And his answer is a bashful laugh. “How old were you then? Twelve? And already so romantic?” And before I can start telling him about my obsession with Disney and the whole Princess Dream, he adds. “Gosh, you’re so cute.”

I melt. I literally melt. I don’t believe it. I don’t understand how this guy. This attractive, stunning much older guy thinks I’m cute. Thinks me attractive. Thinks me hot, intelligent, worth his time. Worth his kisses. I don’t. So I turn my head away. And he, like the gentle person he is, just pulls me in lightly and kisses me, like he’s starving. (I am for sure by this point). Like before, he would interrupt the kiss just to tell me how beautiful I am, his breath fanning my lips, before connecting them again. He touches my body, but he can not (for the life of his, I hope) let go of my hair. He fists his fingers into the nape of my neck, like nobody else has before and it just feels right.

Everything feels right. Apart from the fact, that I kind of know (and dread) what will follow. And oh god how much do I want this to end that way. But I know it shouldn’t. And when he lays the offer on the table, all I can do is decline.

“No offence, but I really really wanna undress you.” He gasps, when we part to get some air, already sneaking his hands under my shirt (which proves harder than usual, because of all the skintight layers I’m wearing, it’s a cold winter night after all). At this point, I’m already a gasping, giggling, horny mess. And he knows. Because, obviously, he feels the same (minus the giggling, because he’s a man). I start fiddling with the top button of his (fucking bishop’s) costume while trying to think of an answer. When I get the top button undone and start fiddling with the zipper of the jacket underneath, I finally get the courage to mumble: “Me too. But it’s a very very bad idea. Because...well, honestly, because I...yeah, I’ve never really had sex with a man.” He looks a bit taken aback (which is honestly, nothing new for me, but we don’t really have time to unpack that story) before he gets a look of consideration in his features.

“Well, if I’m very honest...looking back, I would have done loads of things differently.” He muses. I feel confused. “About what?” I ask. “Well, I mean, about having my first time.”, he explains. “And I think you’re very brave for standing behind that decision.” He says and he looks so fucking earnest, it almost makes my heart explode. I am speechless, not really registering, what he just said, still fiddling with his zipper, pulling it down, seeing his adams apple bob and I can’t help but kiss his neck. He hisses at that. “Still makes you so fucking desirable, shit.”, he curses. But I’m so into it and I ask: “Can I mark you?” He laughs, but in a more controlled (almost stern voice) declines. “I’ve got to work with clients. It’s not a very good idea.” And I get that. I understand. But I... I guess I need the confirmation. I need it confirmed, that this, happening right now, in all it’s facettes. So I look up and I ask him (hotly, might I add). “Can you do something for me, please? Can you give me a hickey instead, so I when I wake up tomorrow, I know I didn’t imagine this right here, right now.”

He laughs, like he understands what I mean. Like he feels the same way. And I pointedly try not to think exactly that. He starts kissing my neck, but stops after a moment or so, looking up to me, in an almost shy manner. “Can I be brutally honest here for a second?”, he asks, blushing. “I’ve...well I’ve never given anybody a hickey before, so I really don’t know how it works exactly.” He looks really, honestly a bit ashames at that. “But I’ll try.”, he adds, determined. And what follows is, what I feel, the most exquisite feeling of receiving a hickey, just shy of being painful, but oh so lustful. I can’t help but gasp lightly.

When he’s done with it, he ropes me again into a deep kiss, exploring every inch of my body and repeatedly finding himself tugging at the short strands of my hair. “God.”, he groans, looking almost reverent while ruffling my short hair. When I tell him, that I cut it myself, because I feel empowered with short hair he adds: “Please, don’t ever let it grow long.” And we’re kissing again. Me with giddy excitement, disbelief, and so much lust and him with cunning expertise.

So it’s no wonder when he gasps, “Can I please touch you.” and I do not register what exactly he means, while already nodding. I just wanna be snogged again man, get to it!

And oh. Oh. Oh, he does just that. But he also slips his hand in my pants and I just...I don’t know how to act. But exactly in this moment I think ‘I want this.’ and I ache. I ache, because I know it’s not a good idea taking him home to my place, where my parents are fast asleep and my desk is messy. And there are clothes laying around (and it probably smells rank). I ache, because I fucking know that while on our way to his place (because he’s got to live in bloody hicksville), I will have overthought everything and even before we arrive, I will have changed my mind. And I don’t know, if and how he’d handle that. (He’s still a stranger after all). And I ache, because I know he must feel the same, judging by the vibe I get from him, even though his hands are still in places, where I would want to see them. I ache, I feel desperate, but most of all, I feel content. Because it’s okay. It’s okay the way it is in that moment. It’s okay, because it is fucking magical.

But magic doesn’t last. Just like the sand in the hourglass doesn’t stop running once you turned it. So, we look at each other and we nod. “Okay...”, he clears his throat. “I’ll make it easy for the both of us: You’ll go this way and I’ll go that way. And we will never ever ever forget this amazing night we just spent together.��� I nod. He nods. And then we fall onto each other like two lions fall onto their prey, savoring the last moments together, in this way.

When we let go from each other, he takes my hand to twirl me around, “take a last good look” as he words it. And I can’t help but crowd him against the nearest wall and kiss him one more time. He lets me. Because he wants to. And he doesn’t stay very innocent, his hands finding his way past my hips, grabbing my ass. We both know we have to stop now. Or we won’t.

So we do. With one last kiss. And his last words: “I’ll never forget you.”

I take the right side. He takes the left side.

Only the morning after I realise, that I never asked him for any sort of contact. And though I tried to find him, he stays obscure. Like he never existed.

It’s been a month and more since and I haven’t forgotten him. I don’t know if he’s forgotten me.

He’s flashed me so bad, I don’t know if I’ll ever forget him.

Sometimes I ask myself, if I just should’ve taken him home. Sneak him out the next morning.

I know it’s better this way. Yet, I wonder if the sex would’ve been as good as he was, when he was wooing me.

I remember his kisses, his touch, everything. But it feels more and more like a distant memory. Something I’ve just imagined. Unreal. Not really there, corrupted by my many retellings, by my writing it. Something I must’ve seen in a movie, not experienced first hand.

Because that’s how it felt. Like a movie. Just how I always wanted.

Only that in the movies you always meet twice. Thrice. Fall in love. Live happily ever after.

I want to meet him again. But under the same circumstances, in a magical setting, where we can finally consummate the lust we felt for eachother that night. And I want it to be amazing.

Maybe it’ll happen. Maybe it won’t. Maybe I’ll get over it. Maybe we’ll find into eachothers life.

But until then, this will stay a movie-esque moment. And I will enjoy it as such.

#i know its very long #but i just had to get it all out #its been inside of me for a month now #love #real story #non-fiction #romance #fickle friends #pretty great #one in a million #angst #thoughts

[peinde]

I'll try to give solid answers.

1) Sexuality? Pansexual. ((same 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Ariana Grande, moby, if only to quell t)(e rumours t)(at we look alike. ((IDK i don’t really have anyone 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. ”She arches )(er body like a cat on a stretc)(. She nuzzles )(er cunt into my face like a filly at t)(e gate. S)(e smells of the sea.” ((i don’t have any books near me ;n; 4) What do you think about most? My wife. ((adult cartoon TV wives, or if i’m angry, Bold and the Beautiful 5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? ”H3Y B4B3 W3R3 OUT OF PIZZ4 ROLLS >:[” ((”hey hun call me ASAP pls” 6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Wit)(out. ((with. i need to be ready to outrun zombies in the Canadian winter 7) What's your strangest talent? I can do voice impressions! ((i can’t make impressions, but i can make voices 8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence) Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money~! Boys will laug)( at girls w)(en t)(ey’re not funny~! ((honestly...same 9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? A couple of times... ((nah 10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? Just now w)(en I answered number 8. ((same 11) Do you have any strange phobias? No? ((a TON 12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Yes, but only twelve times! ((no??? 13) What's your religion? Dick. (i’m technically Christian 14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Working, doing c)(ores, doing )(obbies, visiting friends or )(itting t)(e town. ((going to school or going to work 15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? In front. ((both 16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Don’t ever ask me t)(is again. ((i guess Mother Mother, but there are quite a few 17) What was the last lie you told? ... ((i can’t remember 18) Do you believe in karma? No. ((yes 19) What does your URL mean? I keysmas)(ed, because I didn’t know w)(at to type. ((it’s Peixes + Grande but that’s only OOC knowledge 20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is me wit)(out my wife. My greatest strengt)( is my wife. ((my greatest weakness: my lack of motivation. my strength: my ability to dream 21) Who is your celebrity crush? Jason Momoa! ((Kat Dennings 22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yup! ((nope! 23) How do you vent your anger? I tell me wife everyfin. ((hahaha, i don’t

24) Do you have a collection of anything? You could say t)(at... ((not really? 25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? P)(one. ((neither OMG 26) Are you happy with the person you've become? ... ((yeah. i mean i could be a lot worse off 27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? I don’t like nails on a c)(alkboard, but I do like nails tapping on a table. ((i fucking hate children crying, but i like anything that can basically be “white noise”, like the hum of a vacuum, or the working of a portable heater 28) What's your biggest "what if"? I don’t want to talk about t)(is. ((i don’t really think about those? i mean they didn’t happen. best to just move on 29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Believe in? I mean yea)( sure. T)(ey’re everyw)(ere. T)(ey’re real w)(et)(er I believe in t)(em or not... ((yes and yes 30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. I’m grasping air. Now, I’m touc)(ing my wife’s face. ((i touched my metal storage thingy. then the wall 31) Smell the air. What do you smell? My wife’s farts. ((nothing. just the way i like it 32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? )(ig)(sc)(ool. ((any public washroom ever 33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? West! ((East!!! 34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Does t)(e Rock count as a singer? ((IDK i used to have a crush on Pete Wentz 35) To you, what is the meaning of life? My wife. ((my Christian ass says God

36) Define Art. Out of my league. 38/ ((a necessity to man 37) Do you believe in luck? No. ((yes 38) What's the weather like right now? Sunny! ((rainy 39) What time is it? 8:23 PM ((11:23 PM 40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? No, and yes. ((no, and no 41) What was the last book you read? I’m currently reading Written on t)(e Body! ((i think it was a Sophie Kinsella book? 42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yes! ((yes 43) Do you have any nicknames? Lots of people call me “Fef”. ((i have many IRL nicknames, but everyone knows me by Tori 44) What was the last movie you saw? Fifty S)(ades Freed (illegally, obviously. I’m not paying for t)(at drivel.) ((Devil 45) What's the worst injury you've ever had? I’ve died, does t)(at count? ((i fell off the monkey bars at age 8 and landed right on my back 46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yes! ((no :( 47) Do you have any obsessions right now? I )(ave many, t)(e most important being my wife. ((i guess? i’m always obsessed with something 48) What's your sexual orientation? Wasn’t t)(is asked before? ((yeah 49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Yes... ((yes... 50) Do you believe in magic? Again, it’s real, so yea)(. ((yup! 51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Nope! ((Fef you fucking liar yes you do. and yes i do 52) What is your astrological sign? Cancer! ((Pisces!!! 53) Do you save money or spend it? Spend. ((both 54) What's the last thing you purchased? Pizza rolls for my wife. ((a bracelet off Aliexpress 55) Love or lust? Love! ((love 56) In a relationship? Yes! ((nope! 57) How many relationships have you had? I lost count. ((1 58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Yes! ((nope! 59) Where were you yesterday? At work. ((at home 60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes! ((yup! 61) Are you wearing socks right now? No? ((yup! 62) What's your favorite animal? My princesses...plus you know, t)(e entire ocean. ((any sea creature 63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Kindness! ((oh i don’t give a fuck 64) Where is your best friend? Doing activities you s)(ould NOT be questioning. ((online...talking to me 65) Spit or swallow?(; Swallow, you coward! ((i’ve never had the opportunity to do either 66) What is your heritage? Alternian! ((i’m black Caribbean 67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? 38;3c ((i was on this hellsite 68) What do you think is Satan's last name? Natas??? ((meanie-bo-beanie 69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Obviously??? ((obviously??? 70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yea)(! ((sure, why not? it’d mean i’ll know someone who shares my musical interests 71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I’ve never been late to work? Plus, it’s a legitimate reason??? ((i’ve worked at my job for far too long and have rarely ever been late, especially too rarely for her to keep track. this argument would be completely baseless. also, it’s a legitimate reason??? 72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? It’d probubbly be fake, so no I wouldn’t say anyfin. I’d just wait until I could revive, and no I wouldn’t be afraid, you fucking coward. ((i’d tell everyone, IDK what i’d do. probably pray, sleep maybe, oh i’d be terrified 73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. 38( ((trust 74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Be Alrig)(t by Ariana Grande ((Arizona Highway by the Darcys 75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 3838 ((i’m not telling you??? 76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Being in one like mine and Zi-Zi’s ((communication 77) How can I win your heart? --Exist. ((LOOOL good luck buddy 78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? It sure can! ((i guess! 79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Getting married. ((going to therapy 80) What size shoes do you wear? 6 ((10 81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? “Finally”. ((”i’ll be back” 82) What is your favorite word? Glub! ((intricate 83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Zi-Zi. ((organs 84) What is a saying you say a lot? Glub! ((”for fuck’s sake” 85) What's the last song you listened to? Girls and Boys by Good C)(arlotte ((same 86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? Baby pink, lig)(t blue, lilac, mint green. ((rose gold, burgundy, olive, turquoise, black, eggplant, fuchsia 87) What is your current desktop picture? Zi-Zi. ((on my laptop? default mountains. on my PC? Mother Mother 88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? ??? I don’t know! ((Donald Trump, probably 89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? ...t)(ere are a lot. ((”are you straight” 90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? Go back to sleep. ((flip TF out and run 91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? W)(at would I want t)(at I don’t already )(ave? ((flight 92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Being revived. ((??? none of it? leave that shit in the past my dude 93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? --Everyfin from t)(e time I was revived onward. ((what did i just say? 94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? T)(ere are so many options... ((??? 95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? New Zealand! ((Paris 96) Do you have any relatives in jail? I mig)(t, w)(o knows. ((probably 97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yup! ((no, but i almost did! 98) Ever been on a plane? Yup! ((yup! 99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Most of t)(e fins I already say. ((”i can’t wait for the apocalypse”

#long #fis)(canons #((it's a long boy but it's both IC and OOC be prepared

[singtotheskiies]

Eight Summers

pairing: john laurens x reader modern au words: 7000 (yeah I got carried away a bit) warnings: fluff summary: follow yourself and John through eight summers as you become friends and mAyBe even fall in love. a/n: I've been wanting to do this forever (I can't believe I haven't done a John x reader yet) so let's see how this goes. the second summer contributes nothing whoops 

❇❇❇summer one❇❇❇ You sighed, flopping back onto your front porch. You had been so excited for this summer, and now, midway through June, nothing was happening. "I'm so bored," you said to the clear blue sky. As if by magic, your thinking aloud was interrupted by the rumble of a large moving van. Sitting up, you watched as it came down your street, trailed by a blue SUV. Both the vehicles pulled into the driveway of the house across the street and diagonal from yours. The house had been up for sale for the better part of the year, and only recently had a sticker reading "SOLD" been slapped onto the advertisement in the front yard. It was a large, spacious house that edged a forest, and you had often wondered at its slow sale. The rumble of the two cars had dwindled to a stop, and two men got out of the moving van and proceeded to open the back of the large vehicle. Meanwhile, a couple emerged from the SUV. The woman had brown, curly hair and looked to be in her early thirties. Her husband, or so you supposed, looked to be a few years older and had the same shade of hair as the lady, except his was stick-straight and short. Both of them waved at you, and you waved back with a smile. Under normal circumstances, you would have gone over to say hi, but this was their moving-in time and you didn't want to distract from that. I wonder if they have any kids​​, you thought, and your question was soon answered when the back left door of the car opened and a boy stepped out. You couldn't see very well since his back was to you, but he looked to be about your height and had clearly inherited his mother's curls. They fell halfway to his shoulders, and you didn't think you had ever seen a boy with hair quite like that. He exchanged a few words with his parents, and his mom motioned to where you were sitting. He turned around and looked at you before looking back at her, but his hesitation was ended as she pushed him gently. Now he was headed across the street and up your driveway. You stood up. "Hi! What's your name?" you asked brightly. "John," he answered, biting his lip before looking at you. "D'you have a last name?" you inquired. "Doesn't everyone?" he pronounced the first word as if it contained no s. "I think so. What's yours?" "Laurens. I'm John Laurens." "I'm (Y/N) (L/N). Nice to meet you." You stuck out your hand and he took it with surprising firmness. You looked at him closer as you shook hands. His curly hair was shiny and soft-looking, and it framed a face with a honeyed caramel tint which was covered with a liberal dusting of freckles. His eyes were a vibrant green, and they met yours with an unwavering gaze. The features on his face were well-shaped and defined, although his cheeks still carried a roundness that hinted at youthful innocence. "How old are you?" he asked, releasing your hand. "I'm ten," you answered proudly. "So am I!" he exclaimed, his first real show of enthusiasm, and the two of you grinned at each other. His mouth quirked up to one side, bespeaking a hint of mischief that was confirmed by the sparkling in his eyes that matched his bright smile. His whole face transformed when he smiled, illuminating his face and stretching his freckled cheeks adorably. "But which one of us is older?" you wondered, and you compared birthdays. "Yes!" John exclaimed triumphantly, pumping his fist in victory when he learned that he was a full two months older than you. "It's only two months, though," you griped, crossing your arms as you felt some of the pride rubbing off. "Yeah, but I'm older!" he exclaimed. "I'm always one of the youngest in my classes and now I won't be the very last one!" "Oh, stop," you said, cuffing him playfully on the shoulder. "You'd think you won the Olympics or something." "Maybe I did," he retorted playfully. "The being-older-than-your-neighbor event is my thing." "Whatever," you said, rolling your eyes. "So this is your house?" he asked, looking up at it. "Uh-huh!" you answered proudly. "We'll be almost right across the street from each other, then," he observed. "I know! We'll have lots of fun," you resolved. "John!" A voice interrupted your conversation. The man was crossing the street. "Time to go. We need your help moving some boxes." "Okay, Dad." he sighed. "This is (Y/N). She's our neighbor and she's my age right now, although I'm two months older." Mr. Laurens smiled at you. "Nice to meet you, (Y/N)," he said. "I'm Henry Laurens. Thanks for being so welcoming. I know John was a little nervous that there wouldn't be any kids his age, but I guess that problem's solved, right, John?" "Yeah!" he responded. "Bye, (Y/N)! See you later!" "Okay! Friends?" you asked. "Friends." He smiled at you again before going back with his father. You smiled as you sat back on the porch. Summer just got a whole lot more interesting. ------ You didn't hear the conversation that went on between John and his father. "She's so nice, Dad, and friendly and pretty!" "I could tell, son. I'm glad you made a friend." Henry drew his son close to his side. "Yeah, me too." John couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. ❇❇❇summer two❇❇❇ You were lying next to John, your back against the firm wood of his tree house, which was really nothing more than a few planks nailed together to form a floor-like object which was placed in a crook of a tree. It was secured to the branch by nails and was surprisingly very comfortable. "I can't believe you haven't told me about this yet," you said, turning your head to look at him. "Yeah. It's pretty great, isn't it?" ​​​​​​ It was. The tree was a tall one and all sounds of other people faded, giving way to birdsong and the occasional humming insect. It was a hot day, but the heat faded, impeded by the canopy of leaves stretched out above the two of you. The sun would poke through at different times whenever the leaves would drift apart, lifted by the cool breeze wafting through the forest. All was peaceful and you smiled at the calm that filled you as you lay there, John by your side. "Those leaves over there remind me of your eyes," you said with all the innocence of an eleven-year-old, pointing over to a part of the forest that was dappled with shade. John hummed in agreement. That was one thing about John. The two of you could maintain perfect silence without it feeling awkward or strange. You could still understand each other just as well through words than you could through none. He always seemed to know what you were thinking and vice versa, which was one of the things that made him your best friend. He always understood. Even at this young age, you knew that that was important in any close friendship. John was special and you were glad to know him. He never failed to make you happy and bring a smile to your face. And as you thought of him, a stirring arose in your heart, a new, unfamiliar feeling that wasn't necessarily uncomfortable. You didn't know what it was, but the future was sure to tell. ❇❇❇summer three❇❇❇ "C'mon, John!" you exclaimed, pulling insistently on his arm. John and his parents had come over for dinner, and now the adults were just talking on the back porch which served as an eating area. You wanted no part in it—the fireflies were out tonight, and you had never seen so many. "Hey, that rhymes!" he quipped, smiling that smile you knew so well. "Wow, great observation." You rolled your eyes. "I know. Aren't you glad your best friend is brilliant?" "You're about as brilliant as—" you paused, trying unsuccessfully to think of something dull— "as, well, never mind. But let's go, please? Those fireflies are just waiting to be caught." "Okay, okay, I'm coming. Hey, Mom!" he called. "Yes, sweetheart?" Mrs. Laurens replied. "(Y/N) and I are gonna catch some fireflies." "All right. Have fun, you two." She gave you a sweet smile. "I'll get the jars," you told John. "I'm pretty sure we've got two with holes already punched in the top." You went inside and emerged in a few minutes, carrying a jar in each hand. "We should make this a competition of who can catch the most," John said, taking his jar and looking at you mischievously. "Oh, definitely. You're on," you said, matching his grin. "Ready—" you drew out the word. "Set..." "Go!" you yelled together, running in opposite directions to spots where the insects illuminated the night with their flashes of light. You found a great spot right away, and you quickly grabbed the small bugs and let them crawl off your fingers into your jar, slamming the lid down when they had entered fully. The bugs tickled as their feet made their way down your fingers, and you giggled at the sensation. "You're going down!" you heard John yell from somewhere in the yard. "Nuh-uh!" you retorted, continuing your mad dash through the grass. ------ As the two of you ran around the yard, your parents watched you with smiles on their faces. "They're such great friends," your mom said. "Yeah, they really have a special bond," agreed Mr. Laurens. "There's not a day that goes by that John doesn't talk about (Y/N). There's always something exciting with those two." "He better not steal her heart in a few years," inserted your dad, jokingly but also with a hint of seriousness. "Well, I'm afraid (Y/N)'s on her way to doing that with John," Mrs. Laurens said. "He always tells me how pretty she is, although he's never hinted at a crush." "Well, if I had to choose anyone for my son, it'd be your daughter," Mr. Laurens told your parents. "She's really a great girl." "We could say the same for John," your mother replied. "That he's a wonderful boy and all. Not that he's a great girl!" The four laughed and turned back to watching you and John. ------ "Okay, I think that's enough time," you called to him, breathing slightly heavier than normal. "Aw, are you just tired?" he teased, coming over to you. "No, but I bet you are," you shot back, trying to suppress your heavy breathing. "Nope!" he boasted, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. His curls were long enough to be put back in a short ponytail now, and you teased him about it occasionally. "Okay, well, let's count the other person's fireflies, and whoever wins gets the last two cookies," you said. ​​​​​​ "Sounds good," he replied, and you switched jars and began counting, which was a tricky job since the bugs kept crawling around and many were on the bottom of the lid so you had to tip the jar up to see them. "Fifty-one," you said when you had finished. John was just finishing up, his tongue stuck out slightly as he counted. "You have forty-two which means I won!" he shouted in joy. "All right, good job," you said, sticking out a hand. "A for effort." "Effort starts with E, stupid. Now let's go get your cookies," you replied, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. "Sounds good to me," he said, yelling, "I won!" when the two of you reached your parents. "So he gets the last two cookies," you explained, giving the prizes to him. As he contemplated his reward in his hand, he looked up at you. "I'll give you one," he conceded. "I could never let my best friend go hungry." "I appreciate it," you said, and sat down on the steps, setting your jar next to you. John sat down as well. "We should probably let them go," he said, and you agreed, opening your jar as he did. The fireflies flew into the night, releasing light as they went, and you watched them go. John glanced over at you, your face illuminated by the soft glow of the bugs, and felt his heart expand inside him. What a best friend. ❇❇❇summer four ❇❇❇ The August afternoon was drawing on to evening, and a coolness stole into the air, barely noticeable but still there. Fall would come soon, along with school, and you wanted to savor every last second with John. He lifted his head from his sketchbook as a breeze blew through the trees at the edge of the forest, where the two of you were sitting on an old blanket that John's parents kept for picnics and outdoor use. You were still unaware of what he was drawing, and didn't hear the quick scribbling of his pencil as you looked upward at a few golden-tinged leaves that had fallen due to the wind. "It's so pretty out here," you said, turning back to look at him. He was drawing a long, curving line but that was all you could tell as he had his sketchbook tilted away from you. "Mhm," he replied absentmindedly, a look of intense concentration on his face. He had a certain habit when he was drawing—he would bite his lip on one side and poke out his tongue on the other. You never figured out how he did it, and it was one of the endless unique things that made him John. As you watched his pencil move, his eyes flicked upwards to yours and you looked away quickly, your heart racing inexplicably. You had noticed that you seemed more shy around John. He was still your best friend and closer to you than anyone else, but something was changing. He wasn't the same boy anymore. His cheeks were still sprinkled with freckles, but they had lost much of their roundness, showing hints of defined cheekbones. His hair had grown out to a bit longer than shoulder length, and was usually tied back in a ponytail. He had grown nearly a foot in the past three years and now stood a full head taller than you, a fact he never failed to tease you about. He'd call you "small one" often, to which you would cross your arms and pout. He was growing up remarkably, and you couldn't help but think that he was getting handsomer every day. Although you didn't want to believe it, you could feel yourself becoming attracted to him and hated yourself for it. He's your best friend, you'd think. What's wrong with you? But all the berating in the world couldn't stop your feelings from developing more and more. "They're still not right," you heard him mutter, breaking you out of your thoughts. "What?" "The eyes. They're not right." He turned his sketchbook towards you and you gasped. There on the page were five sketches of your head and upper body in different positions, and they looked as if they could have come from real life. Everything was perfectly proportioned, and you marveled at how he could add such reality to the images with just a few lines of shading. "John," you breathed. He looked at you, hopefully, a hint of anxiety in his eyes. "Do you like them?" he asked, genuinely nervous. "Oh my god. They're beyond words," you said, still looking at them with awe. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. I just couldn't get your eyes right on this one," he said, pointing to a sketch of you looking up. "There's a certain light in them that I just can't duplicate." You looked at his face next to you, inches away. "I think they're amazing." He smiled at you, no hint of cockiness or self-assurance, just a warm smile that heated your cheeks. "Thank you," he said. "No, thank you," you answered. "Wow!" "Ah, it was nothing, just a few sketches." He rubbed the back of his neck as he tapped his pencil almost nervously on his leg. "I'm just glad you like them." Hit with a sudden impetuous desire, you threw your arms around him. He hugged back after a moment, clearly surprised, and you smiled at the feeling, the rightness of it. "You're the best," you whispered. "No, you are." "I'll fight you." A laugh, a change in tone. "Whatever you say, small one." ❇❇❇summer five❇❇❇ "But it's so cold," you complained. "(Y/N), it's sixty-three degrees. That hardly qualifies as cold," John answered you with a shake of his curls. "It does when it's summer and there's no sun. It feels like forty degrees and I don't care what you say it really is." You crossed your arms and shivered, even as you were standing on John's screened-in back porch. "So you insist on not coming." "Not if I'm going to freeze my butt off!" He sighed. "Fine, wait here. I'll be right back." He vanished into the house and you stood there alone, tapping your bare foot on the wooden boards. You heard him coming down the stairs a few moments later and he came out the door with something in hand. "What's that for?" "You. It's just one of my old sweatshirts you can wear so you're not as cold. It's got fleece on the inside, see?" You felt the shirt and agreed to put it on, your heart warming even as your body did. It smelled like John, a hint of lemons swirled in with cotton. It came well to your mid-thigh area and the sleeves enveloped your hands, forcing you to push them up a bit. "Thanks, John," you told him. He was looking at you in his sweatshirt and seemed to snap out of a trance as you spoke. "Oh, yeah, anything for you," he said, ruffling your hair. "You look nice in it." "Yeah, right. As if I look nice in anything," you said, rolling your eyes. "You do. Y'know, I almost got you a pair of my sweatpants since you seemed to be the most concerned with freezing your butt off, but somehow I deemed that inappropriate." The soft look in his eyes was briefly replaced with a hint of their usual roguish gleam. "Perv. Now let's go look at the freaking stars because you wanted to." You bumped him with your shoulder and smiled at him. "I think you secretly want to look at the stars as well," he teased, holding the patio door open for you. "Thank you. And maybe, maybe not. You'll never know." (You did.) The two of you stepped into the night, shivering slightly as you did so. The stars were bright and shed a soft light on John's wide backyard. You picked a spot and lay down on the grass. "Ooh, look, the Big Dipper!" you cried softly, pointing at the constellation above you. John smiled at the wonder reflected in your star-lit eyes. "There's the North Star," he replied, and thought that even though he had seen these basic constellations a million times before, they had never been quite so shining and clear as when you were there next to him. After a few minutes of picking out the images in the sky, you remarked, "I'm still cold." "C'mere, then," John answered, and drew you close. The warmth from his body seeped into yours as fingers of electricity washed over your body at the contact. He felt amazing and right, and you closed your eyes as you leaned against him. ​​​​​His heart was beating; you could hear it, and his chest rose and fell gently. He looked down at your form and sat there with you, the girl who made the stars shine brighter. ❇❇❇summer six❇❇❇ You looked at John warily. "You want me to ride in this? You literally got your license two days ago." Your voice was teasing. "And it was well-deserved. C'mon, (Y/N), just for a bit? It'll only take a few minutes and the sun will start setting soon anyway." "I'm just kidding. Of course I'll go." "Ah, so you do trust me." "Shut up and drive, Laurens." He made his way to the passenger door and held it open for you, making a sweeping gesture that was coupled with a mock bow. "My lady," he said. "Oh, stop." Your heart was secretly bursting within you at the chivalrous action, however lightly it was meant. John closed the door after you and walked to the driver's side. "Are you ready for the time of your life?" he asked you. "Ready as I'll ever be," you told him, and he turned the key in the ignition. "Then let's go." And with that, he pulled out of his driveway. ------ ​​​​​​There was a road near your neighborhood that was mostly used for drivers' ed purposes. Since it was nearly school, classes in your community had ended and the road was empty. It was surrounded by trees on both sides and a few faint birds could still be heard deep inside the trees. As John turned onto the road, he looked at you with a smirk before stepping on the gas. "Oh my god, John!" you screamed as your hair was whipped every which way. "You're going sixty miles an hour!" "I know." "Just be careful!" you cried, even as a joyous whoop escaped you. John looked over at you again, and his heart flipped over. You were laughing, mouth wide open, and your hair was blowing around your face, tinted slightly by the now-setting sun. As you turned to look back at him, your cheeks were flushed and your hair was a mess, but John had never seen you look more beautiful. His gaze moved down your face, and he was unable to get enough of you. "Eyes on the road," you quipped. "Ah, yes, right," he nodded. "But I'd rather look at my beautiful best friend than a black stretch of asphalt." "Shut up," you told him, shocked inwardly at the compliment. "Watching the road will actually keep you alive." "Maybe I need you to live as well," he murmured. "What?" "Nothing." ❇❇❇summer seven❇❇❇ Every year, the Mulligans and Motiers, two families in your neighborhood, would get together and have a huge party. They would play music cranked up as loud as possible, and was audible on the other side of the subdivision, where you and John lived. Miraculously, none of the numerous complaints would deter them from their fun, and so the whole neighborhood suffered in unison for one long night. Tonight was the oh-so-joyful occasion, and you had invited John over, knowing that having him next to you was the only thing that would keep your sanity in one piece. He had had dinner with your family and the two of you were out in your backyard, where an old swingset stood. You were sitting on one, swinging your legs softly back and forth while John sat next to you, listening absentmindedly to the music while catching glimpses of you whenever you weren't looking. The current song ended and another began. "I love this song!" you cried, instantly recognizing "I Saw Her Standing There" by the Beatles. Well, she was just seventeen You know what I mean And the way she looked was way beyond compare "You're seventeen. Fancy that," said John. "And I must admit that you do look nice tonight." You looked down at your old clothes with a skeptical glance. "Yeah, right." "May I have this dance?" He held out a hand to you. "Of course." So how could I dance with another When I saw her standing there? You giggled as John twirled you around the yard, slowing when you were out of breath. He stepped with you slowly, your speed rapidly decreasing and then stopping altogether as you looked up at him to see him gazing down at you. Well she looked at me And I, I could see That before too long I'd fall in love with her She wouldn't dance with another Oh, when I saw her standing there "(Y/N)," he whispered, softer than you knew anyone could ever speak. "Y-yes?" "May I kiss you?" A shocked silence. "Of course." You finally overcame your shock. He bent down and you felt his breath on your cheek. And with a soft tilt forward, he captured your lips with his and the only thing that existed was him. It was pure and perfect and everything you had imagined and wanted it to be. As you pulled apart, you whispered, "I love you." "I think I loved you ever since I saw how adorable you were when you were mad at me being older," John confessed, rubbing his thumb gently over your bottom lip. You looked into his eyes, saw the love, the pure emotion, and knew you needed him, needed him desperately. He drew you in again, and the music was forgotten. ❇❇❇summer eight❇❇❇ "I can't believe this. Summer reading? Especially Shakespeare summer reading?" John lamented. "Well, some people actually like Romeo and Juliet and consider it a literary masterpiece," you commented. "And I happen to be one of them." "My own girlfriend," he groaned. After a year of owning that title, it never failed to give you butterflies when hearing it. The two of you were sitting in a clearing of his forest, and the sun shone in a dappled pattern on your languishing forms. "You should really get started on it," you told him. "I suppose you're already done." "I, for one, do not procrastinate." "Well, then, you leave me no choice but to begin." "You should read it to me." "Anything for you," he said, cupping the back of your neck and kissing your forehead before lying down and placing his head on your lap. "It'll be more comfortable this way." And with that, he began to read, and you listened to the voice you loved best read the classic tale of love. After the first act, your hands were begging for something to do, and so you gently pulled at his hair tie, releasing his long, bouncy curls which floated freely at their leisure. You wove your fingers through them, feeling their lush softness and kissing his shiny locks every now and then. After a few minutes, you parted his hair into three sections and began braiding, picking a few flowers to finish off the woven hairstyle. He was now at the balcony scene, your favorite part, and he paused. "You be Juliet. I'll read Romeo," he said. You laughed and held the book with him, your fingers entwining. The words were interrupted often for a kiss or two, and he smiled at you, thinking that you were the most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth. He finished the scene, and sat up slightly, running his fingers along the curves of your neck while you kissed his freckled cheeks. "How'd I ever get you?" he asked in pure, breathless wonder. You simply smiled before kissing him deeply, eliciting small noises from his throat. The book was pushed aside as he sat up fully, setting you on his lap. "I love you," you said. "And I you." And there you were, young and with your lives ahead of you. The future was yet unknown, but you could face it together as long as you were by each other's side. You looked into his eyes and both of you thought that you had never felt such perfect happiness. 

#john laurens #john laurens x reader #john laurens imagine #john laurens headcanon #john laurens oneshot #hamilton #hamilton imagine #hamilton x reader #anthony ramos #anthony ramos x reader #anthony ramos inagine #philip hamilton #john laurens fanfic #broadway #broadway imagine

[sunnysidewrites]

Love You More | Joshua

Genre: fluff, pURE FLUFF THAT MAKES YOU WANNA CRINGE AND HIT SOMEONE AND THROW UP RAINBOWS

Pairing: Joshua x Reader

Word Count: 2062

Based off of this prompt: Person 1 and 2 are trying to get the attention of Person 3 by doing extravagant things but they end up falling in love with each other instead

A/N: Joshua is a gentleman but we all know what’s under that bible: A fREAK ;)))))  (I wrote this for my friend and I kid you not, this is exactly what I wrote as the a/n) I HOPE THIS COMPENSATES FOR ALL THE ANGST I WROTE TODAY!!! HAPPY HAPPY VERY HAPPY READING MY CHILDREN!!!

“Ugh!” you screamed out loud in frustration, holding your head with two hands. “I can’t believe this boy,” you muttered, shaking your head while your fingers flew across the keys.

I’ll be the first to text him happy birthday, the message blinked across your screen.

As if! I’ll beat you to it, you replied with the same aggression.

You glanced at the time. 11:59, your alarm clock blinked. Your finger hovered over the Send button until midnight struck. You immediately tapped on your screen and mentally attempted to hurry the blue bar slowly making its way across the screen. Come on, send! You urged the message to deliver before the next text you could receive was that of a gloating one.

“Jeonghan, we need to get in line!” You dragged his arm towards the increasing number of people in queue.

“Jeonghan, sit next to me!”

“No, sit next to me!”

After the three of you visited nearly every possible rides, including the kiddy ones, in the amusement park, the dragging continued.

“Jeonghan, let’s play this basketball game!”

“I’ll win you that giant teddy bear, Jeonghan!”

“No, I will!”

Joshua and you aggressively tried making shots, but eventually resulted in a tie.

“There is no way two people could have tied with thirty shots each,” Jeonghan laughed and shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s right,” you nodded. “Because I’m better.”

Joshua scoffed, “You must be joking. Your arm was in my way the entire time.”

“Well, you were actually pushing me!”

“You knocked the ball out of my hands!”

“You kicked me!”

Jeonghan sighed before chuckling softly. “Let’s just call it a day, guys. The park is reaching closing hours anyways,” he glanced down at his watch. He looked back up and grinned. “Thanks for making my birthday… amusing.”

“You’re welcome,” you mumbled.

“Sure thing,” Joshua rubbed the back of his neck.

Both of you were looking anywhere but each other and failed to notice Jeonghan’s knowing look and small smile.

The next few weeks were filled with the same bickering and the unnoticeable cat and mouse game you and Joshua were playing.

“Let’s check out that new arcade they opened up in the mall,” you linked arms with Jeonghan.

“Actually, we’re heading over to mine to play games,” Joshua’s arm linked with Jeonghan’s other free arm.

Jeonghan was never truly bothered by the childish games Joshua and you were playing. At the end of the day, he had two people who deeply cared for him, not to mention the chemistry between the both of you was undeniably evident.

You would be lying if you didn’t notice the subtle gestures Joshua did for you, such as sometimes paying for your meal when you left your wallet at home, or walking on the street side of the sidewalk so you would be between the two guys.

Joshua tried to ignore the fluttering of his chest when you first reluctantly laugh at his lame jokes then proceed to laugh harder at the lameness of them, or when you give him a soft smile to bid him goodnight at the end of a hangout despite the fighting you both do over Jeonghan.

“Let’s go see the cute otters!” You squealed while holding Jeonghan’s hand. “Let’s check out those sting rays first,” Joshua’s hand rested on Jeonghan’s arm. Jeonghan contemplated for a second before marching forwards. “How about we see the sharks,” he stated rather than inquiring, leaving both of you sulky and begrudgingly trudging behind.

You would occasionally point out fish with funny faces or odd species just coincidentally at the same as Joshua, your two pointed fingers touching. Both of you quickly withdrew your hands and looked away with flushed faces.

Jeonghan merely giggled and strolled past the flustered pair.

“How’s your latte?” Joshua asked you. You looked up trying to mask your shock, but slowly answered, “It’s… good. How’s your cappuccino?” He smiled his signature borderline smirk and took a sip. “Warm,” he laughed, his honey voice dripping as much as his drink contained.

Why is my face heating up so much? You tried to busy your thoughts with the drink in front of you. It’s probably just the heater on in this small cafe. Wow, it sure is hot in here. You subconsciously started fanning yourself.

Jeonghan’s wide grin was hidden by his mug as he sipped. Just admit it already, you two.

“I won!” You triumphantly stood up and did a small victory dance. Jeonghan pretended to pout, “Not fair. This is your fourth consecutive win!”

Meanwhile, Joshua’s hand covered his tinted cheeks. “How are you so good at Mario Kart?”

You shrugged. “Beginner’s luck?”

“She’s just a natural at video games,” Jeonghan sighed in defeat.

“Another round, you babies,” you teased, eyes trained on the screen as you restarted a new game. Joshua’s catlike eyes were focused on something else, or someone else particularly.

You heard a soft chuckle on your right side, thinking Jeonghan was focusing on the game just as much as you were. He was laughing at a game, but not the one on the game console.

“There’s the annual carnival down the street today. Are you going?” you brought up to the two as the three of you strolled along your house street. Joshua shrugged and nonchalantly smiled. “I’m down. You?” He turned to Jeonghan. “Sounds like a plan,” he smiled.

“Jeonghan, I’m definitely getting you that water gun,” you pointed at the most valuable prize.

“Not if I beat you to it first,” Joshua smirked with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. You sucked in a breath and abruptly turned back to the counter, ignoring your quickening heartbeat. At the corners of your eyes, you could make out a tense Joshua and his grip tightening on the small water gun handle a little too firmly.

“Win for me!” Jeonghan cheered.

“Who?!” you and Joshua shouted over the splashing from the game. You had completely forgotten the real purpose of playing the game and allowed yourself to let your guard down in the moment. From the outside, the both of you could have easily looked like a comfortable couple having a friendly competition. Joshua would cast glances at you every so often to quickly see your reaction. The jolt of electricity every time eye contact was made sent shivers down your spine the more you reflected back in the short thirty seconds you let loose.

Neither of you ended winning a prize, but you all continued walking around the small carnival, stopping by occasionally to contemplate the next ride or game to dive into. After walking around for a while, the three of you agreed to purchase a mild snack, in which you settled on a single cotton candy to share. Jeonghan stood back and silently watched you rip pieces off to feed Joshua, and him doing the same to you as if it was the most natural thing to do.

“You want some, Hannie?” You thrusted the paper cone in front of him.

He stared at you briefly before breaking into a giggle. “I’m alright. Just share with Josh.” He started walking towards the rides. You and Joshua shared a look and both shrugged while continuing to munch on the candy. While you were walking, he casually slung his arm around your shoulders while using his other arm to occasionally take pieces of the rapidly declining food. Your hands were busy with one holding the cone and the other feeding yourself and periodically Joshua as well.

Jeonghan glanced back to you and Joshua seldomly before smiling to himself. He abruptly halted in his tracks and spun around to face you. “I actually have to take a trip to the bathroom,” he exaggerated his body motions. “I drank a lot of water today. Havefunkidsbesafe!” he jumbled his words together while making a beeline to the restrooms.

You and Joshua blankly stared ahead where Jeonghan was standing, when all of a sudden the park ride attendant asked, “So will it be just the two of you?”

Your heads snapped back to see a worker in front of a Ferris Wheel gondola with the door opened. “U-u-uh, um,” you stuttered. Joshua promptly looked between the worker and you and stepped in. “Yes.” He grabbed your hand and stalked towards the seats and completely ignoring the bewildered look plastered on your face as your eyes rapidly flickered between the back of his grapefruit hair to your interlocked hands.

“Enjoy the view folks,” the worker said as she closed the door and turned back to operate the ride.

As soon as the wheel began moving, you and Joshua avoided all eye contact, using the view as an excuse for the pregnant silence. You could still feel his warmth lingering on your palms, and you tried to suppress the growing smile on your face and the warmth in your chest. You stole a glimpse at his face only to see him attempting to do the same with his hand on his chest near his heart.

“So…”

“So…”

You both started. You both laughed awkwardly and gestured for him to go first.

“Today was pretty fun,” Joshua stated, gathering the courage to directly look in your eyes. “I had a really good time.”

You returned his smile. “I did, too. Even if we did still fight over Jeonghan,” you joked.

The corners of his lips slightly twitched upwards, revealing a bittersweet smile. “It wasn’t Jeonghan I was thinking about.”

You ripped your eyes from the scenery to stare back at the boy seated in front of you. “What?”

His eyes lazily moved from the outside to your face. “I said, I wasn’t thinking about Jeonghan.” He slightly shifted his position and leaned forwards. “Did you really not notice?”

He took your silence as an indicator to continue. “At first, all you were to me was a girl who hogged Jeonghan,” he laughed, reminiscing about the past events in just two months. You flushed in embarrassment, but he went on.

“I started to observe your behavior towards him, your best friend. I thought, ‘Wow. Wouldn’t it be nice to also get treated this special?’ Soon enough, trying to steal Jeonghan away from you turned to be a competition for your attention instead. The only way I could get it was to avert it from Jeonghan to me, even if it drove you crazy,” he looked up and grinned.

“I didn’t know what to expect from this. I didn’t even know how this,” he gestured to the both of you, “whatever we had between us was going to end in. I just,” he shyly rubbed his neck, “wanted you to notice me.” He gently took ahold of both of your hands. “If I hadn’t made anything clear, I… really like you, Y/N,” he softly spoke, his face inches from yours.

Your head felt heavy, swimming with unspoken questions. “Joshua, I don’t know what to say... “ you glanced at the ground with flaming cheeks. “I do know that what I feel for you isn’t purely platonic. The way you smile and laugh, the way you brush my hair out of my eyes when it covers too much of my face,” you trailed off. “I just couldn’t fool myself into thinking that those were just friendly acts. What I’m trying to say is,” you drew in a breath and looked back at him, “I also like you.” With every word that spilled out, he leaned closer until your breaths mingled.

The gondola soon stopped at the top and so did your breathing when there was no longer space for the both of you to lean in. The kiss sent shocks through you, fueling more of the adrenaline you were running on. Initially tensing up, you slowly eased yourself and enjoyed the sensation of the warmth tingling throughout your body. His arm snaked around your waist while the other delicately cupped your cheek. Your hand was on his chest as he subtly leaned forwards with slight eagerness. His soft lips soon broke away just in time for the gondola to reach the bottom, where a smug Jeonghan stood waiting.

“I take it that you guys enjoyed the ride?” He laughed as the two of you got out.

“I enjoyed it. A lot,” he gazed into your eyes and swung your arms.

“I enjoyed it more,” you smiled.

#my post #seventeen #seventeen joshua #seventeen jisoo #joshua #jisoo #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen headcanons #seventeen au #joshua imagines #joshua scenarios #joshua headcanons #joshua au #jisoo imagines #jisoo scenarios #jisoo headcanons #jisoo au #love you more

[mayafish]

Is Iceland Worth It?

I went to Iceland for a week. Before I left, I called my grandma and she said “Well good for you that you’re going on vacation. But... why the heck are you going to Iceland?” I didn’t really have a good answer for her, and I don’t have one for you. I went to Iceland because everyone has always said that I need to go to Iceland, and my husband and I saw some cheap flights, so we jumped on them. If you’re thinking about going, here’s all the stuff I wish someone had told me!

Iceland is extremely expensive

We took a WOW Airlines flight (sidenote: do not take WOW, it sucks) because it was $450 round trip instead of $1k through Icelandair. This seemed like an amazing deal, until we realized that a) WOW is the Spirit Airlines of Scandinavia, and they will charge you endlessly for everything in sight so that your flight ends up costing the same anyway, and b) everything once you get to Iceland is unavoidably, stupidly expensive. We had a hard time finding a single meal for less than $50, or a hotel room for less than $250/night. Add to that the ridiculous price of gas and one’s desperation when there’s no other restaurant within 100km, and you will start to understand. All in all, we ended up spending about twice what we had hoped to spend there, which is not ideal.

If you’re going, I suggest going into what I call “Disneyland mode” and just acknowledging that you’re going to spend a ton of money, because otherwise you’re just going to be pissed about it the whole time. And hungry. If you do want to try and go on a budget, you should look into staying in hostels or even camping, and you should plan to eat lots of gas station snacks. Or you could eat those terrible hot dogs.

Sidenote on Icelandic money: it’s in Kronor. We did not need to get any cash, we just paid for everything with credit cards. For conversion rate, a dollar is worth slightly less than 100 Kronor, so you can just move the decimal over two to roughly figure out what it costs in USD.

You do not need to buy an entirely new wardrobe to survive

We went at the end of winter (last week of March), and I panicked reading all the survival tips about Iceland in the winter. My husband and I both bought snow boots, thermal underwear, new fleeces, hats, nicer gloves, etc etc. 

What I’m glad I bought:

I got these Sorel boots on sale and wore them every single day. They’re extremely warm, they’re waterproof, and they’re comfortable. They allowed me to walk in a river into a cave. I brought 3 pairs of boots in my suitcase and felt dumb because these were all I need. (Believe me when I tell you you do not need a “casual” or nice pair of shoes.)

I was very very happy to have warm gloves that worked with my phone. I basically never took my gloves off when we were outside of the car, so it was handy being able to take photos and look up maps and stuff while we were walking around. These are nice.

Thick, warm socks are your friend. I brought a couple fancy new wool pairs, but really my trusty Bombas socks (same as I wear at home) were just as good.

I wore this thin but warm vest under my jacket most of the days we were there. It was nice that it zipped up all the way to my chin so it kept my neck warm without making me too overheated when we were in the car or inside. As a bonus, it crumpled up into a tiny little ball that was easy to stuff in my very full suitcase.

I wanted to wear these fleece-lined leggings every day, and only didn’t because it started to make me feel gross. They’re super cheap on Amazon so you should just buy like 4 of them and not bring any other pants with you.

I’m obsessed with this lined flannel, which I wore on the couple warm days that didn’t require a winter jacket and which is my new favorite thing to wear at all times when I’m at home.

Polarized sunglasses! Snow blindness is real, y’all.

What I feel dumb for buying:

A ridiculous variety of undershirts and pants, which I never ever used.

A second (fluffier and taller) pair of Sorel boots, which were very cute but I only wore a couple times because I would have been mad if I didn’t wear them at all. But super unnecessary.

Extra hats (I really only needed one).

A new fleece (it was too bulky under my jacket so I ended up just wearing a long sleeved shirt, that vest, and my jacket and was totally comfortable).

...and countless other clothes and accessories. Just like with any other vacation, you’re gonna end up wearing the same comfortable outfit on most of the days.

If you’re getting in on an early flight, make sure you have somewhere to go

Our flight got in around 4am Iceland time (like midnight for us) so we didn’t sleep at all that night. For some reason, it didn’t occur to us that it might be a problem not being able to check in to our airbnb until 2pm - I think I just imagined we’d wander around Reykjavik for a while and find fun stuff to do. But we felt horrible (obviously) and nothing at all opens in Reykjavik until 8am. So we wandered around in the very cold, windy, foggy, empty city for a couple hours until we found a Dunkin Donuts. We posted up there for as long as felt reasonable, and then ended up driving to a mall so we could sleep in our car in the parking lot. It was not our finest hour, and was a pretty shitty start to our time in Iceland. Don’t be dumb like us.

How to read Icelandic

It’s not as weird as it looks. Also, most things are also written in English, so you really don’t have to worry about it. But if you’re getting thrown off by place names in your planning phase, here’s a few tips to help you out:

Pronunciation

ð is pronounced like "th" in "feather", "father" and "that", and if it’s the first letter of a word, it'll be represented as a þ. If you’re trying to google something with a ð in it, you can type it in as a d.

þ is pronounced like the "th" in "thunder", "theatre" and "thong". If you’re trying to google something with a þ in it, you can type it in as th.

Two L’s are pronounced sort of like tl, with a flattened tongue and a click. I cannot do this. But even if you can’t do it right, I think pronouncing something like Seljavallalaug as “sell-ya-vat-la-laug” is better/closer than pronouncing it as “sell-ya-val-a-laug”.

Those were the most helpful few to me, but you can read more here.

Common roots

berg = rock

borg = city

fell = hill or mountain

foss = waterfall

haf / höf = ocean

hellir = cave

hús = house

höfn = port

ís = ice

jökull = glacier

lag = layer

laug = warm spring

lón = lagoon

svartur = black

vatn = lake

vegur = road

vík = bay

þing = meeting

So, if you look now at something like Seljavallalaug, you might not know exactly what it says, but you at least know it’s a hot spring - which is true! Or you might not be able to figure out the whole meaning of Reykjavík, but you do know it’s at least partially called a bay (the full translation is smoky bay). Or here’s a couple good ones: Laugarvatn and Svartifoss. You figure those out! You can read more about Icelandic place names and their meanings here.

Here’s the stuff you should do

Here’s a map I made of all the stuff we did (or at least the stuff I’d recommend doing - I left out a bunch of things that I don’t think were worth it). If you’re going in the summer, you’ll probably want to do things a little differently (like, you should go whale watching and find some puffins) but I think in general the highlights are the same. 

If you have about a week there, you have enough time to spend a few days in Reykjavik and then either head up to the northwest (where the fjords are) or the southeast (where the glaciers are). We did the latter and I feel good about it, but if I went back I’d definitely go up to the north because I think there’s a lot of cool things to see up there too.

Here’s the stuff we did

If you want a super detailed list of all the things we did, here it is. I hope this is helpful!

Day 1: Airport & Reykjavik

Good thing I had a Bloody Mary in the airport in NYC because bloodies do not exist on Icelandic planes (or in Iceland, for that matter).

Landed at Keflavik airport and, as I mentioned, drove to Reykjavik and spent most of the morning being essentially homeless and sleeping in our car in a mall parking lot. Felt considerably better after sleeping.

Went to the Icelandic Phallological Museum, which I can’t in good faith recommend, but I also know nothing could have stopped me from going, so just go ahead.

Checked in to our incredible airbnb, which I highly recommend if you’re staying in Reykjavik and it’s available. Central location, beautiful high ceilings, comfy couch, big tv, nice kitchen, the works. They even left us some skyr in the fridge!

Ran around Reykjavik and got drinks at The Lebowski Bar (overpriced and overcrowded, but still cool to see), Bar 7 (a very strange place that’s sort of a museum and gave us super cheap drinks one night and ridiculously overpriced drinks another time), and Monako (a tiny casino bar where everyone stared at us and it was filled with cigarette smoke but we enjoyed it).

The airbnb owners also run an awesome bar/restaurant downstairs called Vitabar, where we had dinner and which we loved. Good burgers and (relatively) cheap drinks. Also one of the few places we found in Reykjavik that wasn’t extremely crowded.

Day 2: Golden Circle

We got coffee at a chain called Kaffitar, which has good coffee but is extremely disorganized and takes forever so I can’t super recommend it. And their food is not good.

Then, we got in the car and drove THE GOLDEN CIRCLE, which is the most popular thing to do in Iceland and probably my favorite thing that we did. You drive a bit outside of Reykjavik and make a bunch of stops around what’s roughly a circle, getting to see a ton of different landmarks and cool things along the way. One of my favorite things we saw was just a big old snowy field that we got to run around in.

First, we drove through þingvellir National Park, which didn’t really do it for me but you can’t really avoid so drive through it I guess.

Then we stopped at the Laugarvatn Fontana which was AMAZING. It’s a small hot spring with a bunch of different pools (as well as a cold lake you can jump in) and fresh hot bread that they bake right in the sand next to you. I loved the hot springs, I loved the food, I even bought some of their lotion. The only downside is that (like with every other hot spring) you have to shower naked with a bunch of strangers, but this actually didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

Went to Geysir, which is the geyser after which all other geysers are named. It actually doesn’t go off anymore, but there’s a bunch of other ones right there that do and one in particular rewarded us with a pretty impressive blast every few minutes. Worth seeing for sure. (This may not look big until you notice how tiny all the people are.)

Stopped at Gullfoss Falls (a bit redundant if you’re paying attention), which was very beautiful but probably much more fun in the summer. It was freezing up there.

Went to Kerið Crater Lake, which I loved. I am a sucker for crater lakes. It’s beautiful and you get to walk RIGHT down to the lake, which (like most things in Iceland) is as dangerous as it sounds.

At some point, we also drove by some horses which I got to pet and feed. This was the highlight of my entire week. Icelandic horses are the best.

On our way back to Reykjavik, we stopped at a Vínbúðin (the state-run chain of liquor stores) to stock up on very expensive alcohol for our airbnb. They have very wacky hours (like, 12-4 in some cases) so make sure you plan ahead. We had to race against the clock and got there 2 minutes before they closed.

Had dinner at Icelandic Fish & Chips, which was great but not the best fish & chips I had in Iceland. The cool part though was that I got to order NINE DIPS to eat with my dinner. That was fun.

Got drinks at Gamli Gaukurinn, a cool cocktail bar that wasn’t too crowded, had a relaxed vibe, and good music. Only downside was that they had very sketchy bathrooms that everyone could see into. So I did not pee there.

Wandered over to the Hallgrímskirkja (Hallgrimur’s Church), which is very worth seeing in person.

Day 3: The Road to Vik

We attempted to go to the Laundromat Cafe, which seems cool, but which was incredibly crowded like everything else in Reykjavik. We actually wandered around for like an hour trying to find somewhere to eat breakfast and couldn’t find anywhere without a long line of people already waiting. UNTIL we came across Prikið, which was awesome and I don’t understand why it had open seats. Their Breakfast of Champions was one of the best things I ate in Iceland.

On our way out of Reykjavik, we checked out Perlan (”the pearl”), which used to be a restaurant in a rotating glass building that overlooks all of Reykjavik. The restaurant is closed permanently, but they’re working on turning it into a museum and for now you can still go in and get coffee and walk around. The views were incredible.

We drove to Seljalandsfoss, my absolute favorite nature-y thing in Iceland. It’s a huge gorgeous waterfall and on the day we went there it was sunny and covered in rainbows. You can walk up next to it and get sprayed by the water, and you can walk down around the mountain to find other waterfalls and a cool little cave you can walk right into.

When we got to Vik (a small town in the south coast of Iceland which is right in the middle of Reykjavik and the glacier lagoons to the east), we stopped by Dyrholaey, which has some beautiful and dramatic rock formations, and which is a hot spot for puffins. Sadly, we found out that the puffins don’t show up until spring, so I didn’t get to see any. But we did get to almost die in the strong winds up on the cliffs!

We checked into our hotel (Hotel Edda Vik), which we hated, but luckily we were able to switch to a room in the Icelandair Hotel for our 2nd night in Vik. I would not recommend the Edda, which literally felt like sleeping in a hospital room. We went to a little local restaurant called Halldorskaffi, where we had expensive but delicious fresh fish. Their wine was terrible, but that’s ok, Iceland is not known for its wine.

We also hung out in the Icelandair hotel bar, where they gave us some hákarl (rotten shark) to try. I did not eat it. Erik did. It smelled horrible. We also tried some of the local drinks, like Brennivin (”Wash down the shark with it.” “Oh, will that help the taste?” “No, that actually tastes worse than the shark.”) and birch schnapps. If I were you, I wouldn’t taste any of this stuff, but I know you’ll do it anyway.

Day 4: Skogar & Seljavallalaug

Outside of the Golden Circle, this was my favorite day of the trip. First, we went to the Black Sand Beach outside of Vik, which is incredibly beautiful and where we invented a new sport that involved trying to guess which of the tourists would get swept out by a sneaker wave next. (NEVER TURN YOUR BACK TO THE OCEAN.) We also popped into the Black Sand Restaurant to taste some traditional lamb soup, which I did not enjoy because I felt bad for the lambs.

Then we went to the tiny town of Skogar, which is a delightful spot nestled in between a couple mountains. They have a waterfall there (Skogafoss, predictably) which we didn’t care about seeing because we were sick of waterfalls, BUT they had an amazing museum which I highly, highly recommend stopping for. One part is a transportation museum, which was really cool. But the other part is a “folk museum” with Viking relics and intact houses showing you how the original Icelanders lived. We got to peek into a bunch of houses, a schoolhouse, and lots more. It was great.

We ate at the little food truck in Skogar (”Mia’s Country Grill”) because it was the only thing in town, but it ended up being the best fish & chips I ate in Iceland. (Fish & chips are literally the only thing on the menu.) It was so lovely eating fish & chips outside and watching the waterfall and the mountains, but we got lucky with the weather that day so I don’t know if that’s a normal occurrence. 

Then, we went to Seljavallalaug, which is a hidden little pool made out of a hot spring that you have to hike ~20 minutes to get to. (We were previously warned that we had to ford a river to get to it, and that part ended up being a little scary, but otherwise it’s an easy hike.) I think this is worth the trip, but you should know two things: 1) this is less of a hot spring and more of a lukewarm pool, so it’s not the greatest when you’re already cold, and 2) you have to change in some seriously grimy changing rooms that have doors that don’t close all the way, let alone lock in any way. But it’s all part of the adventure, right? We also met a great dog there who seems to live on the road on the way to the pool.

Afterwards we stopped at the restaurant at Hotel Anna a little to the west and I ate the best tomato soup of my entire life. Seriously, if I were you I would drive very far out of my way to eat that tomato soup.

We attempted to get dinner in Vik at the end of the day, but every restaurant was closed, so we ate premade sandwiches they sold in the Icelandair Hotel lobby. Not my favorite dinner.

Day 5: Fosshotel Glacier Lagoon

We got back on the road and drove towards the glacier lagoons in the southeast. On the way there, we drove through Eldhraun (the lava fields), which I had imagined would be red and black but instead were covered in moss and therefore a shocking and beautiful green. We got out and ran around the fields (it’s really fun because the thick moss makes everything so bouncy) and found a tiny little forest to explore. A recommended stop for sure.

We drove out to Fjaðrárgljúfur Canyon, which is supposed to be beautiful, but I became incensed when the bathrooms were closed for the winter so we ended up leaving instead of hiking. But what we saw was very nice!

We stopped off for lunch in the little town of Kirkjubæjarklaustur and ate at a restaurant called Systrakaffi, where I had a giant bowl of vegetable soup followed by a giant fish and baked potato that I very much enjoyed.

Unfortunately, a few minutes after this, Erik made me hike up a mountain in Vatnajökull National Park to see Svartifoss (the black waterfall) and I regretted my giant lunch. But the waterfall was very beautiful. The only downside is that, like everything else, the waterfall was totally overrun by rude tourists climbing all over the rocks, so we didn’t enjoy it as much as we might have.

On our way out of the park, we stopped at Svinafellsjokull, a beautiful and bright blue glacier lagoon that was really stunning. (I think most people miss this one on their way to Jokulsarlon, but I thought this one was actually more impressive.)

After this, we continued on our way to our hotel, the Fosshotel Glacier Lagoon, which was my favorite place we stayed in Iceland. It’s nestled under a foggy mountain (very dramatic), has beautiful high-ceilinged rooms, and provided us with a delightful happy hour and a really amazing dinner. We felt no need to leave the hotel once we got there.

Day 6: Glacier Lagoons & Reykjavik

We stopped at the famous Jokulsarlon Glacier Lagoon and the Diamond Beach right across the street. Both were really beautiful and striking, but I think we had seen so many amazing sights at this point that we were a little underwhelmed. If this is the only thing you’re coming to the southeast for, I’m honestly not sure it’s worth the trip.

We stopped in Vik for lunch on our way back but couldn’t find a table anywhere other than our old stomping grounds, Halldorskoffi, so we just ate there again. I liked it less this time.

We drove all the way through to Reykjavik because we wanted to maximize our remaining time in town. Once we got there, we checked in to the Icelandair Hotel Reykjavik Marina (which we loved) and had a drink in the lobby bar, Slippbarinn, which is definitely the nicest and most varied cocktail bar in Reykjavik.

We stopped into the Punk Rock Museum, where you should absolutely not waste your time.

We had dinner at Old Iceland, which was THE most incredible dinner we had the whole week. I started with shellfish soup which had dill oil (!) on it and was out of this world, and then had a just ridiculous fish and mashed potato entree that was so good I wish I could eat it forever.

Day 7: Reykjavik

On our last morning, we actually had a reservation at the Blue Lagoon (that big famous hot spring everyone will tell you about) but decided not to go because we wanted to spend more time in the city. I don’t regret not going to the Blue Lagoon - the reviews are really mixed, it’s supposed to be incredibly crowded, and I really can’t imagine how it could be better than the experience we’d already had at Laugarvatn.

We spent the morning buying a few presents for friends (and I really seriously considered buying a reindeer rug) and just wandering around enjoying the city (it was another beautiful day) and then headed to the airport. I think a week was the PERFECT amount of time because by the last day I was totally ready to go home.

So: is it worth it or what?

I think that if you have a searing need in your heart to see Iceland, you should go to Iceland. But if you’re just looking for a vacation or an adventure, there are many places you can go which are cheaper and less of a pain. It’s beautiful, and I had a good time, but I’m not sure that I would go again or that I would recommend that anyone else definitely go. Also, we didn’t get to see the Northern Lights even though we were there in the winter, which was a bummer - so definitely don’t go just for that experience.

All that said, if you go, you will have a good time. You will also spend a lot of money and have a lot of inconveniences. So you need to decide if that’s the right vacation for you! For me, it probably wasn’t the right call, but we still had a great time.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#writing #travel #iceland

[burningdesireforchocolate]

In the night....

A/N: When Yıldız behaves like a real sister. I wanted to write story where Yıldız gives the letter to Hilal. This came out. There will be another part to this story for sure. For now enjoy!

Hilal was crying again. It has been a week and every night Yıldız could hear Hilal crying, the bedspread trembling from her sobs. It had gone too far, she couldn’t ignore it anymore. Yıldız stood up and went to sit next to Hilal on her bed.

“Hilal what’s wrong?” she asked but was left with no answer.

Hilal just shook her head and kept sobbing, her tears soaking her pillow. Yıldız didn’t know what to do. What was causing her sister so much pain? If she wasn’t getting answers she could at least be there for her. Without thinking twice she lay down behind her and hold her tightly through her sobs.

An hour must have passed when she finally felt Hilal calming down. “Abla, will you sleep with me tonight?” she pleadingly asked, her voice coarse from the crying. Yıldız didn’t answer, just pulled the duvet over her too and hugged Hilal.

“Will you tell me now what has you crying like this? It’s not like you and you have been like this for days. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you have barely spoken a word this whole week or that even your patriotic sentiments are deemed.”

Hilal was looking at the wall but Yıldız knew she was still awake. “I don’t want to talk about it. And even if I did, I don’t know if words are enough to explain it” Hilal answered with a sigh.

However Yıldız was beginning to understand. She hesitated a moment before finding the courage to ask. “Is it…is it about the Lieutenant? Is it about Leon?”

The second his name left her mouth she felt Hilal freezing in her arms. She knew what that meant so she continued. “I know Hilal. Don’t tire yourself with denying it. I have seen how you look at him, how worried you were when you thought he was hurt, I have read your love poem.”

“What?” was barely a whisper but Yıldız heard it.

“I know you are in love with him. And I was so angry with you.”

“I…it’s not like that” Hilal made a move to turn around but Yıldız held her in place.

“Let me finish Hilal. I was so angry not because I have feelings for him. I don’t! I never did really. But because you were doing everything you so many times have accused me of doing. ‘He is our enemy abla’, 'Don’t fraternize with the enemy abla’. For once perfect little Hilal wasn’t so perfect anymore. And I wanted to hurt you too. I have lied to you about Leon and me so many times. He never invited me to the ball, he never asked to see me at his mansion. Everything was lies. Leon never made any move towards me.”

Hilal wasn’t moving and Yıldız thought that her sister was probably planning how to kill her. She was about to leave the bed when Hilal hold her hand and turned around to look at her.

“Won’t you say anything? I’m not the reason you are crying, right?” Hilal silently shook her head. “Then what is it? Did he do something to you?” she asked alerted. Hilal shook her head again, a tear sliding down to her pillow. She hugged her sister deeper and after a long paused she finally started talking.

“I should kill you for what you did. You can’t imagine how much I hated myself every time you said you were with him! Lo..loving the man my sister loves! But…it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over. I just need to find a way to get him out of my heart because it hurts abla, it hurts so much. Why does it have to hurt?” she started crying again while Yıldız was soothingly caressing her hair.

“I don’t know, I never felt like that..maybe only when..” Yıldız stopped and shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Nevermind” she said afterwards. “Did you have a fight?”

“A fight? All we do is fight! But that isn’t the problem” she sighed.

“What is it then?”

“He doesn’t feel the same way” she said and Yıldız could feel her tears soaking her nightgown.

She didn’t answer immediately because she definitely didn’t hear her sister right. “What do you mean he doesn’t feel the same way? Because the Leon I have seen, he is head over heels in love with you.”

Hilal shook her head, a bitter laugh leaving her mouth. “You are mistaken abla. I heard him myself talking to Ms. Lucy, saying that him having feelings for someone like me would be the most ridiculous thing.” The memory of it still felt like a fresh wound in her heart. “He was obviously playing with me. Having fun while being here and I was stupid enough to fall for it and his beautiful words. I’m so ashamed of myself. What kind of a patriot am I if I fell in love with my enemy?” She couldn’t hold her sobs anymore but Yıldız’s loud laugh froze her in place. “Why are you lauging? Is my stupidity so funny to you?”

Hilal was ready to turn to her other side,away from her sister but Yıldız hold her tight, wiping the tears that had fallen from laughing. “Hilal in everything you have said so far one thing is for sure. You are stupid.” Hilal punched her in the side. “Ouch! What! It’s the truth! If you really believe that Leon doesn’t love you, that he was playing with you then you are definitely stupid.”

Hilal was starting to burn with anger so Yıldız held up her hands in surrender and hurriedly said “I have proof!” Hilal gave her a questioning look, not understanding what she meant.

Yıldız left the bed, going to the desk.“I have proof that he more than loves you and that you are stupid.” she giggled and Hilal threw her pillow at her. “I don’t get how you don’t see what I’m seeing whenever he looks at you or after everything he has done to protect you,how can you still doubt him?”

She searched the drawers for a while till she found what she was looking for and went back to bed,picking up the pillow on the way. “Here you go küçük hanım”.

“Don’t call me that, he calls me that”.

Yıldız burst out laughing “You have special names for each other?” she asked wiggling her eyebrows.

“Off Abla you’re incorrigible.”

“Still better than stupid. Here take this”.

Hilal looked at the little pieces of paper curiously “What are these?”

Yıldız took the pillow and started putting the pieces in the right order on it. “It’s Leon’s love confession about you to me”. She saw that Hilal had a bewildered look on her face so she told her to just read. And Hilal began reading. And as she was reading tears began running down her face but this time they were happy, relieved tears. She looked at her sister, her big blue eyes suddenly full of hope, a big smile on her face and Yıldız for the first time in her life felt like a good person.

“You are the owner of those eyes, the one he wants to reach the same shore with, the one he dreams about. Do you understand now silly girl?”

Hilal hugged her sister tightly, nodding her head.

“You are lucky Hilal. You have a man ready to fight all the battles just to be with you. Don’t let him slip through your fingers because he happens to be part of the opposite side. Talk to him.”

“I will but I don’t know how. Every time I see him I feel like I lose my words. All I know how to do is push him away.”

Yıldız nodded and unwound herself from the hug. “I think I have a solution for that too” She went back to the desk and picked a piece of paper hidden in her jewelry box. “Give him this”

Hilal took it in her hands and opened it. It was her love poem. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“You will Hilal. Every day someone dies. Ali Kemal got shot a few days ago. Seize the day küçük hanım” she winked at her. “Now come on, let’s get some sleep, we don’t want him seeing you with dark circles tomorrow”.

Hilal nodded and with the poem and his letter still in her hand she lay down with her sister and passed the rest of the night thinking about the day that would rise.

#vatanım sensin #hileon #hilal x leon #hilal #leon #leonidas #yıldız #boran kuzum #miray daner #wounded love #vatanim sensin #mine

[imyourliquor-youremypoison]

Tagged by my beloved tagging buddy @reivenesque

RULES: Answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions

1. COKE OR PEPSI: Coke though I don’t really care; I rarely ever drink soda and when I’m really thirsty I don’t care what’s in my glass

2. DISNEY OR DREAMWORKS: Disney used to be a safe bet the all the more recent disney movies have disappointement me in some way, and I’ve always liked Dreamworks’ characters design better. Also I’m in love with Spirit the Stallion of Cimarron and Sinbad.

3. COFFEE OR TEA: I’m a huge tea drinker, but not the tea you buy in bag right, the real tea that’s kinda expensive and that you drink with a slice of lemon or a lil bit of mil like a 19th century British aristocrat, but it’s not something I couldn’t live without. While coffee is a must have if you want to get something out of me before noon.

4. BOOKS OR MOVIES: If you’d asked me this question last year, i would hav said books, without the slightest hesitation. But now I’m a senior at uni and time is something I don’t have anymore, so I’ve turned to movies to entertain me (and fanfiction, always fanfiction, I’d rather not sleep than stop reading fanfiction).

5. WINDOWS OR MAC: I have both, but I don’t use them for the same stuff. I really like Mac for a number of reasons, but most of the time Windows is a better fit for whatever shady stuff I do on my laptop.

6. DC OR MARVEL: Marvel, that’s not even a real question.

7. XBOX OR PLAYSTATION: Playstation. I scarcely play but when I do, it’s on playstation.

8. DRAGON AGE OR MASS EFFECT: pardon my French but what the hell is that?

9. NIGHT OWL OR EARLY RISER: Early riser, not doubt. I’m a literal grandma, when the sun sets I go to bed, I need my 10 hours of sleep.

10. CARDS OR CHESS: Cards, I guess? by elimination bc I don’t play chess.

11. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Vanilla girl over there

12. VANS OR CONVERSE: Vans

13. LAVELLAN, TREVELYAN, CADASH, OR ADAAR: No idea what this means

14. FLUFF OR ANGST: I have nothing against fluff but most of the time people don’t know when to stop and it turns into a marshmallow shit fest, so angst (as long as I can look forward to a happy ending)

15. BEACH OR FOREST: Beach

16. DOGS OR CATS: LISTEN FOLKS, until a few days ago I would have said cats but I just got attacked by a murder crazed stray cat in the street and my right forearm still showcases an impressive number of bloody bite marks and scartches so fuck you cats, now I prefer dogs

17. CLEAR SKIES OR RAIN: Rain, i’m a rain kinda gal

18. COOKING OR EATING OUT: Is this an actual choice or am I simply too poor to afford eating out? I’ll have to go for cooking #LivingTheStudentLife

19. SPICY OR MILD FOOD: I am very sad to say that I have a weak, white-people constution and spicy food doesn’t sit well on my stomach even if I like eating it.

20. HALLOWEEN/SAMHAIN OR SOLSTICE/YULE/CHRISTMAS: Halloween

21. WOULD YOU RATHER FOREVER BE A LITTLE TOO COLD OR A LITTLE TOO HOT: Anyone who knows me knows that I have random heat strokes that are ruining my life and I hate above average temperatures which is why I constantly threaten to go live in Iceland. I’d rather be continuously cold than be a little too hot all the time. Actually, I’d rather die.

22. IF YOU COULD HAVE A SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE: Something that has to do with the mind, nothing physical like super strength or the ability to fly. Like mind reading would be cool but not enough. Super intelligence probably, I don’t know if my ego can take it but I would sure like to know that wherever I go I’m always the smartest person in the room (cocky much? maybe a little bit)

23. ANIMATION OR LIVE ACTION: Animation I’d say

24. PARAGON OR RENEGADE: Still don’t know what that means

25. BATH OR SHOWER: Bath, with a book, and something to drink and music aaaah yesss

26. TEAM CAP OR TEAM IRONMAN: If I listen to my head: Team Ironman (I even made a ‘Team Ironman’ shirt for the Civil War premiere lol) but my heart tells me to go in whichever team Bucky Barnes is

27. FANTASY OR SCI-FI: Fantasy.

28. DO YOU HAVE 3 OR 4 FAVORITE QUOTES IF SO WHAT ARE THEY:

“A woman is only vulnerable when her nail polish is drying, and even then she can still pull a trigger.”

“My father had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later, but once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice, then destroy them.”- Laurell K. Hamilton

“You don’t understand an antagonist until you understand why he’s a protagonist in his own version of the world.”- John Rogers

What is bad for the heart is good for the art. The terrible irony of our lives as artists. - Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun

29. YOUTUBE OR NETFLIX: Youtube. Mainly because I don’t have Netflix, but I do watch more series than videos.

30. HARRY POTTER OR PERCY JACKSON: Harry Potter, what even is this question??

32. STAR WARS OR STAR TREK: S T A R W A R S (I have a Stormtrooper tattooed on my chest if it’s any indicator)

33. PAPERBACK BOOKS OR HARDCOVER BOOKS: Paperbacks, they are just more practical. But when I really like a series of books, I buy the Harcovers (Harry Potter, Twilight [yes well, I was young], most of my historical fictions)

34. FANTASTIC BEASTS OR CURSED CHILD: Fantastic Beasts. Let’s just not talk about the mess that was the cursed child plot.

35. ROCK OR POP MUSIC: If I have to choose, rock. But I listen to whatever sounds good to me, no discrimination of music genres here.

36. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE: I’ll have to agree with @reivenesque and go with myself. Everything else is either materialistic or temporary. People are temporary and feelings are temporary, so I really would be a hypocrite if I said ‘love’ or ‘friendship’ because i’ve lost both already and all that’s left is me. Love yourself first guys.

37. THE LAST BOOK YOU READ/THE ONE YOU’RE CURRENTLY READING: Ooooh boy, I remember the last book I started, but not the last one I finished. Unless we’re talking fanfictions too? Well, the last piece of writing I finished is Mon Ami, Mon Amant, Mon Amour (My Friend, My Lover, My Love), by Laney (It’s a dramione fanfiction in French) and if we’re only talking actual published novels, I started The Dressmaker, by Rosalie Ham

38: SONG THAT MAKES YOU SMILE/SONG THAT MAKES YOU CRY: Don’t laug at me but Never Gonna Give You Up will never fail to put a smile on my face, and as for the sad one it’s Mad World (the Sense8 verion)

39. SUSHI OR WANTON SOUP: Sushis, I coudl live off of sushis

40. SPRING OR AUTUMN: Spring, because my birthday’s in Spring and it’s the end of school

41. DRAWING OR WRITING: Writing

42. SINGING OR DANCING: I can’t do either but that’s not what’s going to stop me from doing both

43. TV SHOW/MOVIE/BOOK THATS LIKE YOUR HAPPY PLACE, SOMETHING THAT ALWAYS MAKES YOU SMILE: 

Movies: Mamma Mia!; 10 Things I hate about you; Ever After;

TV Shows: Sweet/Vicious; Gossip Girl; Merlin; Vicious

Books: Ella Enchanted, by Gail Carson Levine; After Class (Bucky Barnes fanfic) by Team Damon; The Politician’s Wife (Dramione fanfic) by pir8fancier; La Vie est une Chienne (Life’s a Bitch, dramione fanfic) by Brunhild-Ana

44. FIRST GOOD CHILDHOOD MEMORY THAT POPS INTO YOUR HEAD: nothing comes to mind if I’m being honest.

45. If you could be any animal what would you be and why?: If being a unicorn is off the table than I’m going to go for a cat. It’s both fluffy and deadly like me

46. What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard: I don’t like this kind of question, I usually forget every joke I’ve ever heard when someone asks me that and most of those I’m heard are in French anyway so... I swear I’m a funny person, but more like a sarcastic, quick on the draw kind of funny

I TAG @bathshebaa @malfoygasmic @s-kamimagines @iheartsatang @marvelsbitch @angelicawastaken @demonindistress @skamous @highsunflowerr