#what have I been reading

[waitineedaname]

I simply don't think that's true eBooks.com but thank you anyway

#i love getting automated emails from book stores #about authors who have been dead for decades ajdbfkdjdj #i had to read nietzsche for my existentialism class. god what a pretentious dude

[ceeejus]

break in the case

#narumitsu #wrightworth #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #naruhodo ryuichi #mitsurugi reiji #bridge to the turnabout #happy new year! #have been wanting to draw something for this case for a while.. #tho realistically i do not think phoenix sat down from the moment he was released from the hospital until the final verdict was read #but what can ya do

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

#dog books #this chapter was very sad reading #when you become aware of punishment #and its use and its prevalence #it's hard not to despair #again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution #maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did #what I did because it's what everyone does #because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else #I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice #this book was very validating #another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts #was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice #with Amanda Knox #it helped to ease the despair a little

[catmask]

sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.

#and i know that sounds silly like YES. it was just a bookr ecommendation #but i feel like a lot of people either dont really care about whats a good starting point for younger kids in their shared fan spaces #or dont really take the care to recognize different peoples ages would effect what they would both enjoy or #be capable of engaging with #not to mention theres a lot of manga that would NOT have been appropriate for a 10 year old to read #so the fact that he askedd and even asked what sort of thing i liked at the time #was very sweet. i think about him a lot and i hope hes doing well #txt #scratchpost

[mangozic]

archivist be upon ye

#relistening to tma again #i think the last time i’ve drawn anything related to it was like may 2020 #god it’s been a while #have been listening to the magnus protocol and my god it’s so good #but heres good old jonathan as a treat #the interest has been in deep slumber for the past 4/5 years only periodically coming back to life #i’m very normal about this podcast actually #on other note i also started a taz balance relisten #what’s up with me and revisiting my middle school fixations lately #anyways #if you’re still reading these tags i’m impressed i could never with my abysmal attention span #tma #the magnus archives #the magnus pod #jonathan sims #the archivist #tma jon #fanart #my art #digital art #illustration #doodle

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[buttersteps]

ayo edebiri: the movie reviewer we deserve

and her dad also has an account

#why did i only find this out via twitter what have i been doing with my life i could have spent the pandemic going through her letterboxd #she is so funny #but some of her takes are also incisive and poignant #what a great read #ayo edebiri #the bear fx #inception #pride and prejudice #etc #films #film review #jeremy allen white #movies

[tenowls]

teacher getou au...... wauh

#jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo satoru #itadori yuuji #kugisaki nobara #fushiguro megumi #teacher getou au #satosugu #fanart #very funny how gojo leaves both yuuji and yuuta on their first mission hssdjshjdd #i know hes technically watching but. these kids do not know anything abt jujutsu at that point and theyre also KIDS. worst teacher HKSDKSD #anyway. been trying to look for fics but haven’t been able to find one i wanna read so i was like ok I’ll do it myself #however i am not a good writer so. DRAWINGS OF RANDOM LITTLE SCENES WILL HAVE TO DO #i want a plot focused fic w a side of shipping…. blease if anyone out there has any recs #as in like. the shipping written in a way that’s relevant to the plot #i want to see the rammies explored. yknowyknow #what happened differently in the aftermath of rikos death to make getou want to be a teacher instead #how is jjk0 different without him as the main antagonist and who does kenjaku take as a host #how does shibuya play out #how are both he and gojo different as characters #having grown up into adulthood together #getou as gojo’s moral compass etc #YKNOWYKNOW #i am aware that to explore all of that would be a monster of a fic which is probably why it does not exist (to my knowledge) but #IF THERES ANY FICS OUT THERE THAT EXPLORE EVEN SOME OF IT. PLEASE SEND THEM MY WAY #EVEN A FUN LITTLE CASEFIC WHERE THEY GO ON A QUICK MISSION OR SMTH #AS LONG AS THERES PLOT #another theoretical fic i would like to read is canonverse post-shibuya but like with a plot that makes sense #jjk my favourite mediocre shounen battle manga. could be so much better. has anyone attempted this #that one post thats like im not a hater im a dismayer. thats me

[pbnmj]

it’s important to me that peter and co always have their bank accounts in the negatives . like it is fundamental that spider-man is broke

#peter parker #ben reilly #kaine parker #miles morales #i dont care what marvel editorial is doing with the clones btw. they are my barbie dolls #spider-man #marvel #spiderman #my art #pavitr and miles next. i have bullied peter for far too long i have to set my sights on other spiders #ALSO FINALLY HANDED IN MY COURSEWORK I CAN BE SOOOO SICK ABOUT SPIDERMAN BEGINNING TODAY!!!!!!! #well . its been going for a while but i mean i can draw a little more often #i have other uni obligations but at least possibly i can start reading and understanding comicsverse spiderman. #instead of ya know. cobbling together what i know from mutuals and tvtropes

[thatkoiboi]

Part 2

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This is a fan comic inspired by Cass' Apocalyptic Series and is just my own little fan art of how Donnie and Casey could have gotten closer!

The creator is @/somerandomdudelmao

hebehjeabaje I did a warm up doodle of Mikey on the canvas and liked it so much I wanted to incorporate Mikey somehow (literally made up an excuse just to drop a bunch of easter eggs for fun).

#just my own silly ideas #cause all i think about is cass au #also dont mind tap and cass fighting on the monitor lol #i was going to add some of their extras but they have been silly lately so i made a cameo #in honor of all their service to the rottmnt community #like have you seen tap's recent animation???? #it probably doesnt matter when you read that cause tap is making animations all the time!! #i dont even know if don would actually watch fights cuz i know casey's fight was special but he's got monitors and its the apocalypse #also if this is a cass au fan comic its gotta have donnie being crazy in the background somewhere #this is the silliest it gets #rottmnt #rottmnt casey jr #casey jr #future donatello #future mikey #future leo #cass fanart tag #What Are You To Me? fan cas

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

some misc Barn & Wally doodles from the past week or so <3 i heart them

#i read 'barnaby bites wally out of affection' exactly Once and it imprinted in my brain forever #its so damn cute... what the fuck... who authorized that.... #one thing about me: yes i Will exaggerate size differences. no im Not sorry #listen one thing i love more than the big guy & their lil buddy dynamic #is big guy & their lil buddy 'rough-housing' #where it looks vicious but the big guy is actually being so so gentle and careful <3 #it kills me every time!!! #AND THESE TWO ARE PERFECT FOR BOTH BABEYYYYYY #the bestiessssss themmmmm them them them #i have so many thoughts / feelings about them and many of them Directly Conflict <3 #scribble salad #welcome home #wait when. when did i start drawing barnaby so damn much #every other scribble is Him #uh oh! looks like hes Blorbo!!! #anyhow sometimes i sit on doodles for Days and Days #until it occurs to me that hey. i can post these #i havent been scribbling much bc ive been chipping away at comms when i have the free time to do Art #the only non-comm stuff have been silly warmups riperoni #BUT! AHA! last week's me (early this week???) was in their Barnaby & Wally feels!!! #providing current me with Crumbs to post!

[aueua]

love these guys. the musical chairs

#[art #.png] #[2023.zip] #deltarune #dr sweet cap'n cakes #have been meaning to do something with my verse of guys. this is close enough and now.. i am . uh. free #gif #oh. you're reading this? well. #DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF THE SWEET CAP'N CAKES. SWEET CAP'N CAKES CYBER FIELDS' BEST MUSICAL TRIO AND THE LAST RESISTANCE AGAINST #THE BIG BAD QUEEN AND ALL HER CREW AND THAT STARTS WITH RESISTING YOU NUH UH UH C #WHAT WANNA SEE WHAT WE GOT YO YO CAN YOU HANDLE THIS hold ONTO your ANTENNAS !! how was THAT did you get ROCKED

[thebibliosphere]

"Hi, I bought your book and read it in two hours!" remains one of the most flattering and terrifying messages you can send me.

Who are you people? What old god did you sell your soul to that you can read that fast? That's 500 pages! I mean, good job, but holy shit.

#I haven't been able to read like that since I was a teenager #maybe it's the ADHD burnout #maybe it's the chronic depression #idk #I am envious #i want what they have

[lilianade-comics]

@thesoulspulse suggested in this post a while back that Vlad should have become Casper High's principal instead of Amity Park's mayor, and I completely agree. Would have been waaaaaay funnier and better preserved his status as a very personal threat/potential ally to Danny specifically. Plus, we could have gotten a really dramatic students vs faculty dodgeball game with Vlad vs Danny as the inciting force!!

#this has been sitting in my drafts for months lol! finally finished it #can you tell i read too much manga?? #tbh DP would have benefited greatly from being just a little more anime in execution #and when i talk about Vlad being a supervillain in the most mundane situations? this is what i mean #danny phantom #comics #vlad masters #badger cereal #sam manson #tucker foley #valerie gray #dash baxter

[sualne]

something i wish i'd see more in trigun fanarts is people having vash speak their native/non-english languages completely unprompted, ive seen folks have him speak french, which he canonically knows, but i really do believe he's a polyglot. mostly because of that one time in the desert when he saw the samurai and wanted to greet him in japanese but struggled to remember how to even say hello.

my headcanon is that rem had them learn as many languages as possible but with the big fall and so many people dying, which i think is what led english to became No man's land main (or even only?) language, means that vash (and knives!) both got horribly out of practice and are various sort of rusty in every others languages.

what im saying if there's any pun or joke you've been dying to write but just doesn't work in english vash (and knives!!) are right there!

#trigun #i LOVE saying 'that one time in the desert' when the whole planet is a desert it's so unhelpful its funny. #i love vash speaking french because im french and it is just. the stupidest language. the speech patterns can be so funny when overly #familiar or even rude. jveux dire imagine vash parler avec l'accent d'ta région natale ou autre. vash avec l'accent provençale jamais j'm'e #remettrais. encore pire si j'le fais parler avec mon vocabulaire du désastre. les possiblités quoi!! its also incredibly funny to me that #knives could also speak in any other languages. like what if he gets mad and decides to talk to the gung ho guns in idk finnish instead #OR WHAT IF KNIVES SOMTIME USE VERLAN PUTAIN ce serait génial. ive been thinking about it since ive read the manga. theres so many #hilarious tings we could do. real untapped potential. everyone you have the possibility to do the funniest thing pls.

[obsob]

making and weaving and loving! like we have done for millennia!!

#mine #original #ough. hello. #happy new year!!!!! first drawing of th year!!!!!!!! #also LAKSBF 15k followers. hello. welcome #i taught bf how to crochet n hes making a blanket....the irl insp for this piece... #im so proud of these colours....i used an actual real life colour palette..n i think that is th way forward #also . gradient maps my beloved #why have i always refused ur warm embrace....... #dont pay attention 2 the wool bowls okay ive seen a picture of one like once #i do want one however. tho why r they so expensive #its a bowl w a hole in it. relax #ive been listening 2 the silmarillion audiobook as ive been working...i love it sm its like incomprehensible #like. idk what ur talking abt but i love it all th same!! #i tried reading it last year n was like.......okay anyway #rereading gay nuclear disaster book rn....natasha pulley would it kill u 2 write a smut scene #i want 2 see th horrible little scientist man get railed #next book after this is . 1030 pages oaodghsdugd #my goal is to read 50 books this year but i do not think that will happen bc i refuse 2 read books less than 400 pages skjdgbskjd #someone ask me about books. i have so many opinions abt books #okay good evening. i leave u w love