#what do you mean frigga’s not alive
Thor: Bruce, this is my mother. Mother, this is my Bruce
Thor: *realizing what he said* Wait no, I meant-um, that’s not what I-
Bruce: *holding out a hand to Frigga, smiling* Hello, I’m his Bruce
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Glorious, Before the Burden - The Mourning ~ 9
The little village I’d fallen into, slowly became home - parts of it, the rolling hills I could see from any of the windows in my little cottage DID remind me of my childhood home, the one I’d had to leave to be taught by Frigga - the people accepted me as one of their own. And not ONLY due to my magical compulsion, some clearly came thanks to Michael - he was an elder and a man who was highly thought of - so his acceptance made it far simpler for me to integrate.
I had my favorite spots - the bookstore and library, small though they were, a small shop that had sweets - since I’ve always had a bit of sweet tooth, the smaller grocer, and a tea shop where there were tables that people sat and talked or read, instead of staring at the small phones (the little boxes, Michael illuminated me about the technological advances since my last visit to Midgard - far after my first, but not so close to this time) or computers.
I still preferred real books to tablets or e-books. I argued against buying a laptop or home computer, but was quickly losing that battle, and while I hated it, I had finally agreed to the cell phone.
“What if there’s an emergency?” Michael had pressed, handing me the phone he’d already bought and started service on. “I’ll have more peace of mind if I can contact you, and you can do the same with me.” He knew that my magic didn’t have the range that Loki’s did - or Frigga’s, but he had no knowledge of her. The phone made some sense, I hated to admit.
“Fine,” I sighed, and tucked it in my pocket. “I won’t be staring at it every second of every day,” I warned, and he’d chuckled.
I didn’t wait for another package from Asgard - another message from Frigga. I honestly didn’t expect one. If what I suspected was true, that they’d told Loki - and Thor, because he had an inability to lie to his brother and get away with it - that I was dead, then risking getting caught sending something to Midgard for me would be more difficult than I dared imagine.
No, I was alone - without means to let my love know I was alive, that I loved him still - YES, even after seeing what he’d done, I love him.
How did I rectify my loyalty and love for the Loki I know, with the Loki I saw on the screen that Director Fury showed me? I took the time that I spent alone - the nights I sat in my garden, staring up at a different sky, a sky that he couldn’t see - to think through it.
Loki, MY Loki, had been raised in Asgard. He had been raised to look, act, and think Asgardian. Frigga, seeing at some point how closely linked Odin and Thor were, chose to tuck Loki under her wing and nurture the magic she saw inside of him. Perhaps - perhaps Loki himself had changed his visage to LOOK Asgardian when Odin found him, abandoned as the story went, left to die because he wasn’t giant enough. Powerful magic indeed, for an infant.
Being raised so twisted in a lie - a lie about your very identity to the point that you have NO idea of not only WHO, but WHAT you are - at some point, that has to come rushing to the surface, does it not?
It began, after being led to believe that both Thor AND he were equally destined to possibly sit on the throne of Asgard - another lie, but one that Loki grew to cherish. When that was proven false, the first crack appeared. Our rooms were the first salvo in his rage - my first warning that something was amiss, but I’d simply seen my husband taking the news poorly - even if he’d NEVER shown such rage, never seen so broken. I’d been far more concerned about our lack of a child, my own worries brushing his aside - I’d failed him.
When the truth came to light, when he found out - during that ill-fated invasion to Jotunheim - just WHO and WHAT he truly was, that was another strike. To him it made complete sense that he was passed over for Thor, there would be no way that Odin would choose a Frost Giant, no matter if he wore the face of an Asgardian and was raised to think and act as one, on the throne. He’d gone almost mad with his plotting - thinking to make himself acting king, then hero - only to end up lost to me.
Another hit, another strike. A deal made with some monster who promised him - a kingdom? Midgard to rule? At what price? A price far too high, I felt, since he was now trapped on Asgard and I was trapped here - alone - and he mourned me, his dead wife.
And this is how, after all he’d done - all that he’d ruined and all those lives he’d ended - I could still love him and be loyal to him. For nearly every living thing, choice breeds shame and uncertainly and regret. There’s a fork in every road, yet the wrong path always taken. I couldn’t fault him for having choices and making the wrong ones - not when I had too.
I could have kept my mouth shut and NOT told Odin he was alive. I could have stayed silent and NOT told Odin of my love and loyalty that stayed true. I could have kept quiet and lived on in Asgard, if only to stay close to him. To stay alive and close - I too had taken the wrong path.
Glorious, Before the Burden - The Mourning ~ 6
Alone in MY rooms - even his scent was gone thanks to the constant intrusion of my guards - I tried to puzzle out what Frigga could mean when she told me I should choose myself when a choice had to be made. Loki had accused me of keeping part of myself hidden from him and he’d been right, I had, but it wasn’t something I’d done knowingly - magic as I’ve said is vast and multifaceted. It also continues to evolve.
Perhaps mine grew as it did because of my love of reading - when I read my husband’s face - I could SEE what he’d told Thor on Midgard. Since I knew Loki better than I knew anyone else, or so I thought, it was simpler to read him - as my powers grew - so would this one.
But Frigga’s words made no sense, not even with my ever growing and changing magic. Choosing myself over what? Surely NOT Loki and our love. How could I ever choose myself and abandon him? Why would I?
I grew used to my new routine. The guards almost faded into the background. Odin’s demands and questions became rote. Nothing truly bothered me much, the burning threat of tears even stopped. I grew numb to it all - my only solace was in knowing that somewhere out THERE Loki was alive.
I once thought about how slow time moved and it did again - without Loki beside me, without his body next to mine - duplicate or HIM, it made no difference now - time felt like it stood still. I felt trapped by my inability to move forward, so I fell into my memories.
Our time on Midgard, so long ago, became my first refuge. After our first hours, locked skin on skin, then the bath - he’d dressed me, as a lady’s maid would he told me.
“Here we’d be considered very wealthy,” he murmured, his lips ghosting my ear. “And you, as Lady Sigyn, would have a maid who would assist you with your wardrobe,” his fingers danced along my bare skin, wreaking havoc on my thoughts, and making it difficult to pay attention to his instruction. “I have no plans to hire anyone to interfere with our time alone, my darling.” Eyes fluttering shut, teeth worrying my lower lip, and a certainty building that we’d never NOT be alone. “I guess that means I’ll have to take up the chore,” I’d laughed, breathless and free, sure that he’d rise to a different occasion rather than DRESS me.
Yet dress me, he had. From the skin out, slowly and intimately, and I felt fairly certain that a lady’s maid would have been more efficient, but I’d have had a tantrum if he’d chosen to give over the task to one. Once dressed, he’d quickly manage his own with a flash, unfairly denying me my own fun, and then he’d take me out to show me the wonders that London had to share with me.
Food, wine, plays and shows - he took me dancing and he even kept our word to Margaret and Elizabeth, insisting we dine with them at least once. Always returning to our rooms at the Langham - where he’d drop his show of wealthy Midgardian Lord as easily as we’d shed our layers and then like a predatory wolf, hungry for far more than any delicacy that could be had during a meal at one of the many eateries - he’d hunt me.
So lost in my thoughts, memories of better times with Loki and our love, I didn’t hear the warning raised. Not until the guard announced that once again Odin wished to see me. Of course he did, I thought - another audience - another round of questioning.
We weren’t alone this time, which was a new development. As was the undercurrent of tension, Frigga stood rigid, her jaw locked and her eyes tight. Fear crawled up my spine like the cold chill that I associated with Loki’s disclosure that last night - kneeling before Odin, I tried to calm myself - reminding myself that to show him I was afraid would never do.
“There she is,” he ground out, looking down at me as if I were judged guilty and ready to be sentenced - a flash of warning of what was coming I later knew. “Rise, LADY SIGYN, WIFE OF LOKI.” My breath caught, but I stood, back straight and chin up, meeting his gaze head on. “You are proud of your title, are you not?”
“My title of -” biding time, trying to learn what precisely was going on - I needed more time. Odin was harder to read for me.
“WIFE,” he spat out. “Wife of a traitor. Wife of a terrorist.”
My lips were dry as was my throat. “Terrorist?” What had he done? “I have no idea -”
“LIES,” Odin growled. “You said he lived, you knelt before me and gloated about his survival.” I hadn’t, all I’d done is been certain, but clearly the king wasn’t in a generous or logical mood. “You had to have known this was his plan all along -”
“What plan?” Quiet and calm, I managed to keep calm, the quiet was simply due to lack of moisture. “What -”
“You will not be here to continue to aid him in his madness -” What? “Since you are so certain of him, so LOYAL, I feel it best to remove you from his side.” A death sentence - I felt weak and knew my face had lost all color. “A banishment - to the very place YOUR husband TRIED to rule and destroy, but more so, Frigga will take away -”
I missed the rest, so shocked that I wouldn’t forfeit my life. So sure I’d been that I’d die that I lost the thread of what Frigga would remove from me. What I’d lose -
Frigga and I had very little time, and it wasn’t alone, but she pressed something into my hand before she kissed my forehead maternally and whispered too quietly for me to hear her. And then, as if I were falling asleep - everything went dark.
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so, i’m making this my own post because i’d hate to seem like i’m trying to argue with people!! i just want to share my opinion on mobius and loki and that time theater scene.
First, I definitely think Mobius was using the reel to get Loki to do what he wanted. It makes sense. Mobius’ main goal is, at least for now, to protect the timeline. That’s his job. He might think Loki’s neat, and he might care about Loki to some extent, but Loki’s not his main priority. Everything he showed Loki in the time theater was absolutely meant to (at best) persuade, (at worst) manipulate Loki into helping the TVA. It wasn’t chiefly for Loki’s benefit. At least, I don’t think so.
((Just a little disclaimer here, I don’t mean to say Mobius is a horrible monster or a soft, loving figure. Right now, he is at best a semi-neutral ally who seems to think Loki is better off alive than dead - so long as Loki helps, rather than hinders, their cause.))
In this episode, we get two scenes that introduce us to how Mobius relates to people. Mobius is clever. He’s persuasive. He is good at getting people to do what he wants.
With that child in the church? He acts approachable, sweet, and caring. Almost like a protective father figure. He makes a neat little stick figure and lets the child make it walk - it’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s appealing to a child. He lowers his voice and assures her the “devil” that scares her is afraid of him, and he’s going to take care of him. Through all this, Mobius gets what he wants - information.
(side note - i still think this child is actually young sylvie and she murdered those tva agents, i may be wrong though)
Later, to Renslayer, he acts respectful, humble, and soft-spoken. He doesn’t interrupt the trial. He is obedient and respects her authority, and is careful not to make a fuss. He also ends their conversation with a compliment she seems to accept. In all this, Mobius gets what he wants - her agreement for him using Loki to help the TVA.
Again, I think those are both examples to show that Mobius has a good idea of how to convince people to go along with his ideas.
There’s certainly parts of the time theater scene that helped Loki open up and be honest with himself - like asking if he enjoys hurting people - but I think again, that was Mobius’s way of gauging how Loki really thinks and feels. He’s testing the waters. He wants to know if he can use this Loki against another one, because this Loki is here, this Loki is vulnerable, this Loki is the only good chance the TVA currently has, since they’re already losing so many units.
And what does Mobius want in this scene? Loki on his side.
So he tries different methods. He plays off of Loki’s emotional connections. He pushes Loki - especially when he shows Frigga, even earning an emotional outburst from Loki for that. But eventually, and this is the beauty of it - he can’t force Loki into it. Or at least, he doesn’t fully get the chance. For all of Mobius’s prodding (which i found rather cruel at times), blaming (again, for Frigga’s death - blatantly wrong, but it works, and she’s one of Loki’s biggest and most obvious weak spots), and evidence-backed claims (Loki’s defeat at the hands of the Avengers), what finally convinces Loki is Loki’s own actions and curiosity, and almost poetically: Loki’s free will.
Remember all of the talk about Loki’s story not being his own, Loki’s actions possibly being predetermined, the Timeline flowing the same way over and over and Loki is powerless to stop it? Well, Loki was the one to continue that reel. Loki was the one to look at his future. At his family. At his parents, his brother, himself. Loki was the one to find the truth. Sure, he used TVA tools to do so, but he did it alone and on his own accord.
Mobius has to return to Loki with a weapon because this god is a threat, he’s already gotten the best of Hunter B-15 and nearly broken out of the TVA. If you notice, the weapon Mobius is carrying is an orangeish color. That’s the kill color. He’s ready to delete Loki and cut his losses if it comes down to it, because for all he knows Loki’s now enraged and ready to kill him (Loki already said as much after being shown Frigga). But by then Loki is wounded, he’s broken, and he’s willing to comply because of the pain he’s felt, the love he’s seen, and the terrible reality that he can never return to the people he misses most.
This scene is being simplified a lot. I think it’s more than just a “it’s Loki’s therapy!” or “Mobius is a terrible person!” type thing. It’s complicated. Mobius isn’t cruel the whole time, but he isn’t kind the whole time either - and again I think that’s because Mobius isn’t on Loki’s side? Mobius wants Loki on his side. He clearly wants to work with Loki but he doesn’t let Loki get the upper hand on him - well, until Loki steals the time twister. Another example of Loki’s free will.
I just really like how, even while in previous scenes Mobius’s actions have persuaded others, in the end, Loki puts the crucial pieces together himself. Sure, Mobius gave him a push, and sure, Mobius reinforces and even comforts Loki a bit with that “I don’t see you as a villain” (paraphrased) line. But Loki exercised control, and free will, and made his own choices that determined the outcome.
Idk, this is a long post and I’m not sure if I made my point. I’ve been mulling over Mobius as a character for a while, and have tried to type up a single, succinct post to gather all my thoughts. May need to talk about it more, not sure. And my perspective/opinion might change, too! I might even be wrong! It wouldn’t be the first time. But I’ve been itching to talk about him a bit, so. Here you go.
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loki livestream ramblings
long story short: im not sold on it yet and im upset by that
heavy fucking spoilers
what the fuck does "reset the timeline" mean --- does this mean no ones gonna know lokis alive in the avengers
what does lokis signature look like
oh my god loki "what if i was a robot" you need to stop
why is he walking through the queue line
why the fuck they calling him laufeyson
hes not wrong abt the avengers being the cause of it. --- so??? the avengers get to fuck around with the timeline but --- but loki cant??????
oh, aw, i feel so bad when his shit doesnt work god damn it. "dont rush me" LOL STOP -- please
please stop calling him laufeyson. even he said he was "loki of asgard" still. please shut the fuck up.
lokis like "the fuck is going on now"
listen, please let me see loki being a little powerful. im tired of him being so fucking weak to be honest.
"i thought there was no magic here" "there isnt". looks like a damn star wars city.
i hate that this loki didnt go through ragnarok :////
i forgot about phil coulson
didnt he go through torture and shit by the chitarri and or thanos or whatever they were i forgot about the avengers. after falling through space?
oh wow hi tom --- what we doing,,,,,, look at u being all handsome "mr cooper" NO? --- NO??????? COOPER?????????? THE AIRPLANE COOPER??? LOKI SHOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING. IM ALREADY TIRED OF YALL. WHEN? WHEN DID HE DO THIS. CHECKS GOOGLE. 1971??????? WHAT WAS LOKI DOING ON EARTH IN 1971???????????????? IM TIRED. THOR? HEIMDALL? THEY'RE IN ON IT??????? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. THE RAINBOW BRIDGE KNOCKED THE MONEY. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS. "LOST A BET WITH THOR". WHAT? WHAT?????
"i was standing up to make a point"
oh no another one -- oh god okay its one from avengers.
OH ???? OH YOURE SHOWING HIM WHAT HIS FUTURE WAS???? SHOW HIM RAGNAROK. SHOW HIM RAGNAROK. PLEASE SHOW HIM RAGNAROK. HES NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT BUT OKAY. aw the mama ; _; poor frigga,,,,
"and you think you send them to thor" -- "but instead you send them to ---" OH THE LIP QUIVER
LOKI,,,, YOUR MAMA, OH MY GOD. SHOWING THIS MAN THAT? THATS THE PROPER FLOW OF TIME.
"you were born to cause pain and suffering and death" oh my god. mobius??? shut the fuck up???? who the fuck is this. owen wilson how dare you. are these psychopaths??????? who is the TVA??????
ofc loki got out of the goddamn room. you moron. you absolute buffoon. fuck you owen wilson. little fucking sneak thief king of mine.
RUN BASTARD MAN. MAKE UR ESCAPE. OH MY GOD
"whats ur name"
"GIVE ME THE TESSERACT OR ILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH CASEY"
"WHATS A FISH?"
"how do you not know what a fish is?????"
really?? casey??? youre giving the man --- in,,,,,,,infinity stones,,,,,,, what the fuck is --- we actually get a ----- USE THEM AS PAPERWEIGHTS?????? A,,assssssssssssssss???d?ddddddddddd?
his face :(
i like casey.
:( :(((( oh my god. oh my god loki,,, baby. baby no----- OH MY GOD PLAYING RAGNAROK. ODIN. oh my god loki. baby. baby please. :(((((( oh,,,, oh,,,,,, oh no and then it shows how he dies dont it,,,,,,, oh no baby boy. no dont watch you die :(((( baby n------ NO BABY,,,,, UGH. ugh.
this is like the cinematic record from kuroshitsuji, for the record.
,_, im so sorry loki.
my boy is SLICK when hes EMOTIONAL. nice. good job buddy. got your collar off. love ya sport.
"I cant go back can i" :((((
oh my god. my heart is breaking for this boy. "I dont enjoy it" im so sorry. i love him so much. im so sorry about all of this baby ,____,
i dont like this. u mean to tell me that we wont see thor and loki anymore. yall have Lost me. ugh. bless his heart.
"why me" y--
what the fuck do you mean "you"
what the fuck is happening
what the fuck is happening
what the fuck is happening,,,,,,,,,,
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The End - Chapter 1
(Infinity war AU: Loki lives and leaves the Statesman with Bruce Banner. Multi chapter fic, enjoy the ride babes xo)
taglist: @woahthisguy (ask to be added if u like!)
When Loki woke, part of him still thought that he was on the Statesman. Still aboard that cursed vessel, with smoke filling his lungs and the maddening glare of the stones shining before his eyes. Rays of sunlight filtered into his vision, and he felt broken wood under his fingertips - but part of him still expected to see Thanos’s golden boot step into his vision. Still expected to see his brother, bloodied and bruised, a lifeless body tossed beside him. Expected to hear his last pained scream as the power stone touched his head, to smell the ozone building in the air and to see the final flash of lightning that would signal his brother’s journey into Valhalla.
What he heard was the sound of birds.
Muffled by walls, but there. Birds, nature, the faint sounds of traffic and conversation bleeding in through the ringing in his hears. He opened his eyes, grunting slightly as he felt splintered beams digging into his side from where he fell. A neat hole in the ceiling signalled his entry; he stared up at the familiar sun and sky, and let his eyes fall shut again with a groan.
But not just anywhere in Midgard. He inhaled the musty air, coughing out the dust from his throat. Magic - he could sense it everywhere. It clung to every surface of this place, seeping into the floorboards with a familiar sense of order and learning. Not just magic - sorcery.
Loki sat up. Pulled himself out of the hole he’d created in the floor, and almost buckled under the weight of the familiarity of this place. The Sorcerer’s Home. Where he’d been suspended in animation for over half an hour, only to be dropped onto the marbled floor and told that they were going to see Odin. He remembered Thor’s voice, then. That was one of the last times he’d sounded like himself. Before the Norns had twisted the last few strands of their monstrous tapestry, and brought their world crashing down around them. Around Thor, to put it more aptly. Loki had shed no tears for Odin. Hadn’t felt the same coiled rage in the pit of his stomach as when Frigga had died. But it had signalled the beginning of the End, for them. The beginning of Ragnarok. The twisted path that had dragged them from Midgard to Sakaar to Asgard and finally to a barely held together spaceship crawling through the stars.
And then to oblivion.
Loki flexed his fingers, stepping onto the cold marble floors, and allowed himself a moment of respite. This wasn’t good. Out of the frying pan, and into the proverbial fire. Midgard may have meant refuge for Thor, but not for him.
Voices sounded from outside the doors. Loki stepped quickly, pressing himself against the wall - not that it would do any good. The Sorcerer had sensed them from oceans away, last time. He could pluck him out of thin air if he so chose, and deposit him at his feet. But it felt right, at least. Sensible. Slinking his way in and out of the shadows was what he was used to, and he needed some familiarity right now. Stability in any form; even if it was just a repeated motion from a lifetime that was now obsolete.
“The Avengers broke up. We’re toast.” Smooth, honeyed tones from beyond the door; a voice that could have been roughed with anger, but the edges smoothed down into something more palatable. Stark.
“What do you mean, broke up? Like a band? Like the Beatles?” Another voice sounded off - this one inquisitive, confused, but still with a certain fog - like someone coming out of a long sleep, trying to recount a dream that was fading rapidly. Banner, then.
Loki leaned back against the wall, silently cursing his luck. Of all people he encountered, it had to be Stark. Someone who Loki’s last fond memory of was tossing him out of a window - and even that was marred with the faint blue tint of the mind stone’s power. He couldn’t even enjoy throwing Stark out of that window. Couldn’t even take credit for it, really.
He shifted his fingers again, feeling the familiar steel of his dagger morph into life in his hands. That brought a little comfort, at least. Even if he knew in his heart he wasn’t in much shape to fight off the Avengers right now.
He had Banner to vouch for him - maybe. But Banner didn’t have the same trust in him that Thor had. And Thor wasn’t here to echo that sentiment to his allies, because Thor was dea-
“Thor’s gone.” Banner’s voice resounded off the walls again, subdued and uncertain.
Loki didn’t know why that word suddenly made him so angry.
Gone implied things. It implied uncertainty; that they didn’t know where Thor was, or what had happened to him. Gone implied that Thor could come back. Gone implied hope.
It wasn’t Banner’s fault. He didn’t know any better, didn’t know the full extent of what Thanos could do.
And maybe that’s what drove him out of the shadows, moving just beyond the doorway to stand in the light.
“Thor isn’t gone. He’s dead.” Loki almost winced at his own voice - rough and jagged and far from the silver tongued smoothness he was used to.
But the look on Stark’s face almost made up for it. Alarm creeping into the eyes beneath the sunglasses, a memory of when Loki had last seemed glorious. Unstoppable. A raging inferno fanned by the mind stone, laying waste to Midgard’s streets with an army of monsters at his side. Memories of grand speeches and golden horns. Stark’s hands twitched, grabbing onto a small cord at the collar of his shirt that would probably unfold into some trinket or other, meant to blast him across the room with a quippy one liner to follow it.
Banner’s eyes widened for a moment, but softened just as fast, and he took a few steps forward. Not all the way - he was still too smart to move all the way - but enough. Enough for a placating gesture, at least.
“We don’t know that, Loki. He could’ve escaped, he could’ve-”
“Correction - you don’t know that. I do. Thanos wouldn’t leave someone like him alive.” Loki shook his head, a hollow laugh forcing its way out of his lips. “He was too much of a threat.”
“The Tesseract?” The voice of the sorcerer from his side caused Loki to turn, meeting Strange’s scrutinizing gaze with what he hoped was a mask of steel.
“Thanos has it. And the power stone.”
“Then he’ll be coming for the rest.” One gloved hand drifted idly to the necklace around Strange’s neck, his face setting in grim resignation.
“I’m sorry, am I missing something? Why are we all standing here talking to this guy? Last time I checked, he was working with Thanos, and was very much in favour of - I don’t know, murdering us all?”
Stark finally jarred himself out of whatever train of thought he’d been following, moving forward to grab Banner by the arm - like a mother, reaching out to snatch her children from sticking their hand into a campfire.
“Tony, it’s fine. Well, it’s not fine. But Loki’s with us on this one.” Banner shrugged his shoulders, batting at Stark’s hand with a twinge of embarrassment.
Stark scoffed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.
“So I’m just supposed to trust him because, what? It’s a ‘long story’?”
“Oh, God no. But he is on our side.” Bruce frowned, gesturing at Loki listlessly. “Look, do you think he’d look like that if he was working with Thanos?”
Loki shot him a glare, but tilted his dagger upwards to try and catch a blurred glimpse at his reflection. Even in the unclear mirror, he couldn’t deny that Banner was right. Soot smudged along his cheeks, rimming the glaring red cuts on his face with black. Dark circles stamped under his eyes, there was blood beneath his fingernails. He looked unhinged.
A stretch of the neck, a flex of the fingers, a flash of gold, and he was whole again. The grime still clung to his skin, but it was hidden now, at least. He tilted his chin up, spreading his hands out wide.
“I am not here to pick a fight with you, Stark. Nor any of Midgard. But Thanos must be stopped, and you’re going to need more than the Avengers to do it. You can kill me, or imprison me, but buried beneath that colossal ego of yours, you know you need me.”
Stark’s jaw clenched, and for a few moments Loki expected the flash of a cannon and the impact of a missile hitting his chest. What he got instead was a sigh, tight and constrained, and a small nod in Banner’s direction.
“Fine. But if this blows up in my face, you owe me like...a million cups of coffee.”
Banner shrugged, and the three Midgardian’s continued their discussion.
It wasn’t a discussion Loki wanted to participate in - and by their hunched shoulders and wary looks, it wasn’t one he was privy to, either. Which was just fine by him. He tapped his fingers against his elbows, and wandered about the room.
So many artefacts that he hadn’t paid attention to last time. This room hummed with magic, every table, every chair, every floorboard was steeped in it; like fragranced smoke clinging to a curtain.
He overheard some of the conversation, of course. Talks of a great battle between their Captain America and the Iron Man; a rift between the team that had grown into a chasm - one that strangely he hoped would be mended. Not for their sake, of course; it would just be easier to fight Thanos if they all united as one, and fought together rather than apart, and -
Norns, he was starting to sound like Thor. He shut his eyes, shrugging his shoulders to try and rid himself of the sentiment. It was funny what a few moments of desperation could do to you. The death of his mother, and he worked with Thor again. The death of his father, and he saved a world he swore to hate. The death of his brother, and now he was talking of comradery with the Avengers.
Banner kept casting looks at him from across the room. Worried looks, but not for his own safety - at least, not entirely. Banner looked worried for him, and for some reason that filled him with vitriol, anger that was acidic and spiteful.
Banner thought he was exaggerating. He still saw Thor as a golden hero, unbreakable and untouchable. He didn’t know.
He didn’t know that it was better for Thor to be dead. That when Loki said that Thor’s fate was sealed, it was not out of spite or doubt of Thor’s strength; it was out of hope. Loki would rather kill Thor himself than have him die at the hands of Thanos.
At least Loki’s steel would have been kinder. The flash of silver and the seconds it took for the blood to leave the body would be a mercy, compared to the dazzling pain of the gauntlet. Seconds still felt like seconds, when you were stabbed. The infinity stones stretched those seconds into hours. Loki knew from experience.
Before, he might have relished at the thought of causing Thor pain. Wherever this sentiment had come from, these feelings of care and brotherhood, he wanted them gone. They’d settled on his skin with the dust from Asgard, baked into the clay of his being in the fires of a supernova, watched from a spaceship window. If he had nothing from the beginning, he would’ve been fine. If Thor had died at his hand, hating him, he would’ve been fine.
Thor had died believing in him. And that was so much worse.
Screams erupted from outside, and all four of them glanced towards the doorways.
“God, already? It’s been what, five minutes since you two crash through the window and now we’ve got more party guests?” Stark rubbed at his forehead, probably nursing an oncoming migraine.
“I guess they move fast. Let’s go.” Strange and Stark headed towards the doorway of the sanctum, but Banner lingered behind.
The scientist paused at Loki’s side, looking at him with a gaze that was suddenly inscrutable. No easily provoked anger that Loki could stoke into a wildfire to keep the sadness at bay. No mistrust. Just a hint of sadness, and a twinge of concern in his voice when he asked:
“Are you alright?”
Loki’s hand lifted to his face, feeling the wetness of tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. He stared at his fingers, before wiping them against the material of his jacket.
No time for this. Not right now.
“I’m fine.” Loki gritted his teeth, flipping his dagger in his hand.
Loki didn’t take much stock in legacy. He’d had his fair share of prophecies and purposes, and none of them had quite worked out the way he’d wanted - or expected. Fates could be changed with the flip of a dice - his birthright had been to die one moment, inherit the throne the next. He was destined to be the doom of Midgard and the saviour of Asgard and somewhere along these severed threads of prophecy he’d realised that it was all just chaos. He’d rather be an agent of that, than a warrior honouring the stories of someone else.
Thor’s story felt different, though. If he was going to honour anything in his life, maybe his brother could be the exception. Maybe he could help protect this fragile blue planet from this destruction; just this once.
Loki gripped the dagger harder, until his knuckles turned white.
Midgard waited on the other side of that door. A place that he had chosen to conquer, and Thor had chosen to care for.
If it didn’t die today, he knew it’d be a matter of time before it died from something else. But he wouldn’t let it be lost today.
Thor believed in him. He’d died believing in him.
Honour that, then. Honour his stubbornness, if nothing else. What better legacy was there to leave Thor with, than postponing the dying light of a planet just because?
Chaos and stubbornness. What better combination was there than that?
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OG616 : Thor: The Dark World - Pt.1 [Lokasenna]
[My masterlist, where all parts of this and my other fics can be found]
Pairing: Loki / Sigyn (basically an oc based off the marvel/myth namesake)
Warnings: None. unless you want a warning for sigyn and loki being sad 24/7
Author’s Note: The first part of Thor 2! One of my personal favorite MCU films, and this section of the story has some of my favorite elements, too. I hope you all enjoy it!
Taglist: @high-functioning-lokipath , @onaheroicmission
To be added to the taglist, just ask me here or send a message! <3
Sigyn anxiously awaited Thor and Loki's return. The days felt like eons. She found herself constantly listening, constantly looking for him and Loki. Every night she struggled to sleep and each morning, she would rush to see if they’d arrived.
Loki is alive, She repeated to herself yet again, He's alive and he's coming home to me.
She paced around her room, fiddling with her necklace. The chain had been replaced from constant use, but the symbol remained intact. It was afternoon, now, and she had already prepared their chambers, as she did every morning - making sure everything was exactly as it had been before Loki left, down to the book he’d read the night before the coronation, a velvet bookmark still holding his place. Untouched. Sacred.
She pressed the pendant to her lips, closing her eyes.
"I love you. I miss you." She muttered, her voice shaky. "And I will see you again soon."
A few days later, Sigyn walked through the palace’s golden halls, on her way to visit Heimdall and see if Thor was any closer to returning. As she walked, she heard a distant, low voice.
"Return this to the weapon's vault," Thor commanded. He sounded safe. Unharmed. "Do as you will with him."
Sigyn's breath caught in her chest.
She grabbed fistfuls of her sapphire dress, racing toward the noise. Echoes carried through the halls, and she hung onto every word she could make out.
"Allfather Odin requests you report to Vanaheim at once, my prince.”
Sigyn's heart pounded in her ears. Her stomach formed knots.
She pushed herself, sprinting as quickly as she could. Loki hadn't spoken yet.
Let him be safe. Please let him be safe.
"Princess, are you well?" A wary servant called after her. "Princess?"
Sigyn slowed, "Loki is back; I've got to see him!" She shouted back, throwing herself back into a run. She found Thor, but Loki was nowhere in sight.
"Where-" She wheeled around, desperately searching, "Thor, where is-"
"Sigyn, be still." He grabbed her arm, steadying her. "Loki is to be tried for his crimes."
"Crimes? What has he done?"
Thor paused. "A great many things."
"He murdered hundreds of people, Sigyn. Innocent people. He led an army of Chitauri against Midgard. Corrupted the minds of my friends, tried to turn us against each other - he nearly destroyed an entire city."
Sigyn faltered. Her heart sunk, her shoulders dropping. "He couldn't have.."
"Sigyn, he is not the man you once knew."
She ripped herself from his grip. Thor lowered his hand, watching her. She matched his gaze, and setting her jaw firm, huffed slightly. "I need to see him."
And I need to hear his side of the story, she finished to herself.
He sighed, taking a step back.
"The throne room. Sigyn," He stopped her before she could leave, "Go to him if you must. But I warn you, you may not like what you find."
After another short sprint, Sigyn tried a side entrance to the throne room - the main entrance was, predictably, swarming with guards and royals, all barred from the trial. But as she neared the door, she found it too was guarded by Einherjar.
"Oh, not this again! How many times must I fight past you?!" Sigyn glanced at their spears, considering how difficult it would be to simply slip past them...
"Allfather Odin commands the trial remain uninterrupted." One of the Einherjar started, but someone walked up behind Sigyn, taking her hand.
"And Allfather Odin will understand if his wife wishes to see her son. And his daughter, her husband." Frigga. She raised her other hand, and the Einherjar bowed aside.
"Thank you, mother." Sigyn whispered. Frigga smiled, though for only a moment. She looked tired. Worried. Her mouth turned in a frown, her eyes avoiding contact for too long, instead focusing on what lie ahead.
But I probably look the same.
They stopped in the shadow of Odin's throne. "Wait," Frigga cautioned quietly, and Sigyn stepped back, out of sight.
Soon, the clinking of heavy chains brought a new wave of emotion over Sigyn.
Footsteps. She took in a sharp breath.
The sound grew closer.
Her heart beat faster. She clutched her chest.
"Loki." Frigga spoke.
The footsteps stopped. Wait. Wait one moment longer.
"Hello, mother..." Loki.
Sigyn leaned over, keeling from the pain. Covered her mouth to hold back a sob. It had been so, so long since she’d heard that voice...
“...Have I made you proud?"
Sigyn gazed at Frigga. Please. Please, I can't endure this any longer.
"Please, don't make this worse.." Frigga glanced over at Sigyn. She gave a single, firm nod.
"Define worse." Loki retorted, then turned his head in surprise as Sigyn walked up to join Frigga.
Sigyn felt every footstep. Every breath.
He looked so... Different. So foreign.
She looked past the chains, past the shackles he was clad in from head to toe.
He seemed taller. Leaner. He looked hungry. His raven locks had grown longer in his time away, now reaching his shoulders in loose curls. His clothing was darker, heavier, fit more for battle than for show.
But most of all, his eyes. His eyes had changed. She once saw in them love and adoration. Mischief. Happiness.
Now she looked into them, and all she could see was pain. It was etched into every inch of him.
Pain and bitter longing.
"Loki," She spoke, and he exhaled a heavy breath, struggling to compose himself. She let a few stray tears fall as her voice wavered. "Loki, what happened to you?"
"Enough." Odin spoke. "I will speak to the prisoner alone."
Frigga stepped back, but Sigyn only moved closer to Loki.
"The prisoner?" She stepped between him and Odin, heart still pounding, mind racing. "He is no more than a prisoner to you now?"
"Sigyn, leave us." Odin's tone grew harder.
"No. This is the prince of Asgard- He is your son!"
"Enough!" Odin shouted, loud enough to make Sigyn tremble, to make Loki narrow his eyes. "You will leave. Now. And you will remain in your chambers until I see it fit to release you."
Sigyn raised her chin, trying to seem brave past her shaking hands. "I will not be-"
She stopped. Turned around.
Loki was watching her, a stoic expression hiding what she could only imagine was a world of pain. He managed out a single word.
"Leave." His tone was low, gentle, but left no room for argument.
Loyal to him. Loyal to him always.
She gave him a final, desperate glance, and obeyed.
His eyes caught sight of her necklace as Frigga led her from the throne room.
Sigyn remained in her chambers, as directed, for several days after the trial.
She was no stranger to being kept in this room. But before, she often had Loki with her. She remembered returning to the palace one day after falling off Villieldr - he had spooked on a trail through the woods.
"Stay here, love. Rest."
Loki had said, sitting her down so he could tend to her bruises and scrapes. "How you manage to get so scuffed up, I hardly know. You’re worse than a child." He mused, waving green magic over her arm. His magic was always more gentle than the healer’s... Not that they were rough, no. But he was careful with her.
"It's not my fault," She’d retorted. “Vill is spirited, that’s all.”
"I don't blame you for it." He finished addressing her wounds, kissing her forehead. "I only wish you were more careful..."
A knock on the door pulled Sigyn from her reminiscing. Frigga stepped in, shutting the door behind herself softly.
"I have spoken with Odin… And he has permitted you leave."
Sigyn watched her, waiting for her to continue. "And?"
"And it would be in your best interest to remain, shall we say, on his good side."
Frigga smirked as a blush crossed over Sigyn's cheeks.
"I apologized to him on your behalf. He understands your outburst. But you must understand, Sigyn, he’s trying to protect you."
"He shouldn't try to keep me from Loki."
"You may be right." Frigga sighed, "But that is not our place to decide. Please, Sigyn. Stay out of trouble at least a day. I can only convince Odin so many times.."
Sigyn glanced away, shifting her weight.
Staying out of trouble means staying away from Loki, wherever he is.
They stood a moment in silence. Eventually, Sigyn broke it.
“What did the Allfather decide?”
Frigga folded her hands. “...Odin has decided Loki shall be imprisoned for his crimes.”
Sigyn stared at her. “What?”
“I know it’s difficult. He is still your husband, yes, just as he is still my son - but we cannot turn a blind eye to what he has done.”
“I don’t mean to turn a blind eye, I only…” Sigyn sighed, “Isn’t there some other way.. Can he stay with me, maybe here, I could-”
“I don’t think you understand..” Frigga rubbed her hands together, as she often did - and indeed, as Loki did - when she got nervous. “The only reason Loki has been allowed to live is because I vouched for him.”
Sigyn’s blood ran cold. She stepped back, steadying herself with a table.
“He... What was Odin thinking?”
Frigga gave her a pitying look. “Anger has clouded Odin’s judgement - and, I’m afraid, Thor’s as well. They won’t forgive as easily as you and I will.”
Sigyn shook. She wiped her hair back, hand trembling. “He was going to kill him… To kill him.. After all of this, to kick me out and decide Loki’s fate, to give an impossible trial with no one there, no one to speak for him…”
“From what I heard, Loki spoke for himself.” Frigga steadied her. “Hush, child. I’m sorry you’ve been put through this.. But we cannot go against Odin, and we cannot allow Loki to roam free after the crimes he has committed. You must understand, this is the best we can do.”
Sigyn felt tears drift down her cheeks. Felt Frigga envelop her in a hug.
“I-I would have given myself with him..” Sigyn whispered. “Odin would have to go through me to get to Loki.. Better dead than separated...”
“Quiet. Don’t say such things.” Frigga pulled back, holding her at arm’s length. “You must stay strong for him, yes? We mustn’t lose hope. Imprisoned or not, Loki is home. He is safe. And we shall do everything in our power to help him. Perhaps we could send him some things from your room - something to make him feel more comfortable.”
Sigyn wiped some tears away, trying to put on a brave face. Nodded. “That would be good. Is there a limit..? I-I’d hate to choose too much..”
“Choose whatever you think he’d like best. I’ll see what I can do.” Frigga’s eyes sparkled, and she gave Sigyn a small kiss on the forehead before backing away, toward the door.
“I will. Thank you - thank you so much. This will help him. We will help him.” Sigyn smiled.
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OG616 : Thor 1 - Pt.7 [Whispers from Beyond]
[My masterlist, where all parts of this and my other fics can be found]
Pairing: Loki / Sigyn (basically an oc based off the marvel/myth namesake)
Warnings: A bit of angst.
Author’s Note: Have a little humor, as a treat.
To be added to the taglist, just ask me here or send a message! <3
Seasons changed and life moved on, though Sigyn never did feel quite the same.
A part of her always hoped she'd wake up one morning to find Loki's arms around her, holding her close. Hear his voice. Spend days with him, like they used to. Before their lives changed and they were ripped apart. She wore the necklace every day, and held it when she thought of him.
I love you. I miss you. She would say to herself, silently hoping somehow he would hear it, he would know she hadn’t forgotten him.
Some relationships flourished. Sigyn spent more time with Frigga, honing her magic and talking with the queen as she tended her quiet, cherished gardens. She grew even closer to Thor and his friends, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, who would occasionally spar with her - though she was never as capable as they were, she still enjoyed their matches.
But other relationships were strained. Odin and Sigyn never saw eye-to-eye regarding Loki. They remained civil, and Sigyn never disrespected him, but things things were different nonetheless.
A year after Loki's death, and unbeknownst to Sigyn, Frigga hurried into the throne room. Everyone turned to watch her as she entered, intent on her goal.
She stopped before Odin's throne and said three words:
"Loki is alive."
Later, Odin called a meeting. Royals, commanders, and a jarls alike were called to discuss an “Urgent Matter.”
Mysteriously, Sigyn was not invited.
She planned on attending anyway.
"The fact remains," Odin spake, standing tall before the others, "That the Bifrost is still destroyed. Until it is repaired, we cannot send any Einherjar to aid other realms. But if what Frigga saw is true, this is no small matter of scavengers ransacking a single village. The entirety of Midgard and, therefore, Yggdrasil itself, is at stake..."
Sigyn heard some of Odin’s speech before two huge golden doors were shut in front of her. She tried to enter, but was barred further by two Einherjar.
"I'm sorry, Princess, but you mustn't enter."
"Everyone else is in there."
"Allfather Odin forbade you join them."
"Of course," She glared at the door. "Because everything worked out so well the last time he kept things from me.."
The Einherjar shifted his feet. "You may not enter."
She sighed, walking away. "Fine."
If only I were better at illusions... She peered back around at the Einherjar.
I could cloak myself and walk right past them. Or, perhaps, cause a ruckus loud enough to draw them away from the door...
She glanced down at her hand. Cast a spell in it, watching the magic twirl around her fingers.
Do I care more about what Odin may do, or hearing what they're talking about?
She looked down the hall. A servant and their dog were walking away from her.
... I'm tired of being left in the dark.
She threw a spell at them - harmless, of course. The dog barked at his master, wagging his tail wildly. "No- Down! Off me-!" The servant stumbled back, tripping into a sconce.
And crashed on the floor.
Another sconce fell. The dog barked louder. The servant yelled louder. More sconces tumbled to the ground.
The Einherjar ran past Sigyn, and she burst into the room to find everyone staring at her. Her cheeks turned pink.
She gulped, looking up at Odin, who was glaring at her.
She took a deep breath, walking to the meeting table with her chin raised. "I refuse to be left out of such an important meeting! If Prince Thor is attending, so am I."
Thor suppressed a chuckle behind his fist, his eyes squinting with a smile.
Frigga, seated at Odin's side, eyed her daughter. "What did you do?"
A horrible crash resounded from outside the room. Someone screamed. The dog kept barking as it ran away.
Sigyn blushed. ".. Well I'm not exactly proud of it-"
The queen sighed. Waved her hand. The commotion outside stopped. "Come sit down, Sigyn. I had wanted you here from the beginning, and it seems the Norns are on our side.."
Sigyn obliged, taking an empty seat across from Thor.
Odin shot another disapproving glance at Sigyn before continuing.
"Midgard is perhaps the most crucial point in Yggdrasil. If Loki is helping the mad titan Thanos, we must stop him at any cost."
"What?!" Sigyn shot up out of her seat.
With a heavy sigh, Odin turned to his wife. "You see, Frigga, this is why she was to be kept away."
"Loki is- What?"
Frigga stood, taking Sigyn by the shoulders. "Earlier, I glimpsed something, with my magic.." She swallowed, "Loki."
Tears began flowing down Sigyn's cheeks without her fully realizing.
"I had meant to tell you separately, but... He was with the titan, Thanos, and another creature I did not know. He wielded a scepter. It looked powerful.. Like nothing I had seen before. He spoke to me, claiming it was not the time to talk, and sent me away. That is all I saw."
Loki is alive- But he isn't safe. Where is he? Why didn't he come home?
"Now we believe he's headed to Midgard. We must stop him, bring him back home."
"I will go." Sigyn spoke up, voice shaky.
Odin stood. "No, you will not."
"If Loki is alive, I should be the one of those sent to retrieve him! He has always listened to me most. He trusts me-"
"I have only the power to send one of us. With the Bifrost destroyed, we will have to use other - dangerous - means to reach Midgard."
Sigyn went silent.
And he won't send me... He didn't even want me to know Loki was alive.
"That is what we were deciding, before you interrupted us so masterfully."
Sigyn quieted down. "... I understand, my apologies, I.. I only wanted to know what was happening.."
Without a response, Odin turned to face the others. "We must choose who among us is most fit to retrieve Loki and return him to Asgard."
Loki is alive.
Everyone else's words blurred to mere noise.
Loki is alive.
She pondered over everything that had happened. Everything he had been through. Everything she had been through.
He's out there. Somewhere.
She swallowed hard. The garbled voices around her kept talking.
My husband is alive. We have to save him.
"We are in agreement, then?" Odin asked the group. Sigyn's gaze darted up to him. "We are in agreement, that Thor is to be sent to Midgard?"
The table responded in unison. Agreed.
Sigyn looked at Thor. He nodded at her, understanding what her look meant:
Bring him home to me. Bring him home safe.
"I agree," Sigyn spoke last of all, "Thor should be sent."
Odin gritted his teeth in annoyance, but nodded, letting Gungnir resound throughout the room to mark the final decision.
"Very well. Thor, prepare for your journey. The rest of you are free to leave."
Sigyn stood before Thor.
Her brother, as far as she was concerned. She'd always loved him like a brother, ever since they were friends and eventually, family.
He shifted his weight, gripped Mjolnir tighter.
"Thor," She pursed her lips, blinking against her misty eyes. She clutched her necklace. "Bring Loki back home. Please, bring him back home to me."
He nodded, grasping her hand in his. They stood together in silence, then as another sob overtook her, he hugged her once.
"I swear to you, I will find him. I will return him home to you," He pulled away. "You have my word."
She nodded, stepping back from him. He gave her another glance before turning to Odin, who readied his magic.
"Thor?" Sigyn struggled to speak.
He looked at her.
"Tell him I love him. I still love him. No matter what."
He clenched his jaw and gave her a single, understanding nod.
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OG616 : Thor 1 - Pt.6 [The Mourning]
[My masterlist, where all parts of this and my other fics can be found]
Pairing: Loki / Sigyn (basically an oc based off the marvel/myth namesake)
Warnings: Angst, some.. Hopelessness? And mild flirting.
Author’s Note: Very long one here. Hope you enjoy!
To be added to the taglist, just ask me here or send a message! <3
A very distinct, sharp pain washed over Sigyn as she pondered Odin's words. Like a knife plunging into her gut, twisting, pulling - but never leaving. Only hurting worse and worse, the very air in her lungs seizing up.
Loki is dead.
Her throat burned.
Loki is dead.
Tears streamed down her face.
My Loki is dead.
She broke. Her entire body shook with a sob as she collapsed onto the couch she was seated on, weeping. "He can't, he- He's not, he's not.."
"Sister.." Thor wrapped her in a hug, his jaw set firm. Frigga placed a hand on her back.
Odin’s grip tightened around Gungnir. "He's gone."
"No he's not."
"He's NOT!" She screamed, struggling in Thor's grip, who clenched his jaw as he held her. "He's not- He can't be, he.. Loki.." Her body gave way, unable to cope.
Thor helped her stand, letting her sob against him.
"I wish it were true," Odin resumed, forgiving the interruption, "That he could still be with us. But he made his choice."
Sigyn glared at him.
"You made your choice when you lied to him! When you lied to all of us for countless years. We built our life around that lie!" She choked back another sob. "Now our lives are ruined because of it."
Odin didn't respond.
"Sigyn, have care how you speak." Frigga stepped between them, finally composed, though her eyes still glistened. "We need time to grieve, all of us. But perhaps, you most of all." She cupped Sigyn's cheek, wiping a tear away. "Go rest. Arguing will breed nothing but more pain."
Frigga was right. Arguing now would only make things worse - Odin wasn’t exactly known for a cool temper. But her head was still spinning. Loki couldn't be gone. There had to be some other way. Straightening up, Sigyn wrung her hands together. Swallowed. "I-I am sorry, Allfather.. I spoke out of line.."
Odin waved his hand, still looking away.
"Thor," Frigga managed a gentle smile at her son, "Please take Sigyn back to her chambers before you visit the healers."
Thor nodded, and without another word, he and Sigyn left.
Sigyn stayed in her chambers for days on end. She ignored the time. Refused to eat. Refused to sleep in her bed - no, their bed - it still smelled like him. She spoke to no one. Retreated into the solace of being completely and entirely alone. Once the dust had settled, the wounded healed, and the palace put back in order, a feast was held for those who defended Asgard and helped Thor return home.
Sigyn was required to attend.
I can't exactly refuse... She reasoned, pulling on an emerald green gown. Putting on her favorite necklace, she gazed in the mirror.
She was pale. Paler than usual. Sickly and thin, with dark circles under her eyes. Hardly the shining goddess she would be expected to appear as. She looked down at the necklace. She’d had it for a long time. A rectangular medallion on a thin, metal chain - the medallion bearing two serpents, intertwined with each other, each biting their own tail. A symbol of Loki’s adaptability and cunning.
"If you should like to...” Loki had murmured, obviously nervous has he offered it to her, “I would be honored to see you wear it.”
It had been a perfect gift, marrying her colors with his symbol. She barely took it off, except of course when she was expected to wear coordinating clothes. Then it lived in a small wooden box on the dresser, safe from dust.
This will be my first meal without you. She ran her thumb over the symbol. I love you. I miss you.
Composing herself, she left her room.
Servants and guests alike stared at Sigyn when she arrived. She was late. She adjusted the necklace, ignored their whispering. Ignored the stares, the side glances...
Maybe I should’ve stayed alone.
"Sigyn.." Sif walked up to her. "I am so sorry for your loss.."
Sigyn merely watched the warrior as she spoke. She felt like something inside her had died along with Loki. Something was lost. She wasn’t sure if it would ever return.
Sif swallowed. "Truly, I am."
With great effort, Sigyn spoke, her voice dry from lack of use. "Thank you, Sif." She forced as much of a smile as she could, then took her seat.
Conversation picked back up. Stories were told. Laughter spread.
Sigyn stayed there. Motionless. Expressionless. Staring at her untouched goblet. This wasn't worth it. Nothing was worth it. Nothing had meaning anymore.
She turned to look at all the guests. They were eating together happily, drinks sloshing over their food as they raised toasts and struggled to contain their laughter at Volstagg’s stories.
Their spouses hadn't been taken from them. They hadn't lost someone.
This is life now, isn't it. Sigyn turned back to her empty plate. This is the lot I was cast.
Her vision grew blurry with tears.
The curse worked. Loki is dead. I'll never be loved agai-
She clenched her jaw.
Don't you dare start thinking like that. Don't you give up now. Keep going. Keep fighting. If not for yourself, for him. Do it for him.
She looked back at all the familiar faces around her.
Be strong. Be strong for him.
A tear ran down her cheek.
Make him proud.
"A toast, to Asgard! For the glory of our realm!" Roared Volstagg, raising his glass.
Be strong for Loki.
Sigyn stood and raised her glass with a smile.
"To Asgard. Our home."
Time passed. The grief-stricken goddess still wept for her lost husband, still dreamed about him every night. But as the months went on, she wept less. She slowly began healing from the wound deep within her heart. Accepted that for now, Loki was gone.
She had thrown herself into old books and tomes, determined to improve, to make her husband proud. In the shadows of familiar bookcases within the palace library, she found writings on the Norns. The sisters Wyrd, Veranthi, and Skuld - three powerful beings controlling the past, present, and future. And there in the crumpled pages, she found a familiar symbol: the web of Wyrd.
Three sets of overlapping lines, the it symbolized the inherent interconnections of all actions - and all realities. How the past influenced the present, the present the future, and the future, perhaps the next life.
Our next life... Once the Asgardian twilight comes, and I embrace a final sleep, I will wake up and see him again.
We won’t be alone.
She would remind herself, with each new day, she was another step closer to seeing him again someway, somehow. Alive or dead, they would be reunited. The thought of it inspired a little spark of hope within her. With each passing day, she spent hours pouring over old spellbooks. Studying ancient runes, practicing spells. Mastering them.
She filled books with ideas, charts, musings.
And most of all, she remembered Loki.
She mapped out his entire life, beginning to end. Considered everything that had happened. Asking Thor, Odin, and Frigga exactly what he'd said to them - and exactly how they'd responded. Recorded what they said in books of her own. It helped her grieve.
But it also served her in other ways.
Rumors spread quickly throughout Asgard. Rumors of the prince who was hungry for power. Who stole the throne, and tried to kill his own brother to keep it. Who abandoned his wife in her time of need. Who betrayed his family and his realm.
Sigyn considered it her duty to dispel false assumptions about him. And as she traded for a new book at the marketplace, she heard one such assumption. A group of ladies stood nearby, gossiping over their goods.
"There she is - that's her, the princess."
"Lokiwife, wasn't it?"
"Yes, that's her," A pretty brunette leaned in closer to the others, "I heard she and Loki had quite the time before he.. Well," she frowned, earning murmurs from her group.
Sigyn glanced their way, eavesdropping on their conversation, tucking the book into her satchel.
A blonde nodded in agreement. "Anyone would have a rough time if their husband abandoned them like he did."
"Oh yes," The blonde shook her head, "It was just awful. The Warriors Three said he was always envious of Thor, always wanted the throne. And when he got the chance to steal the throne, he took it."
"If only Thor had been crowned in time. None of this would have happened.” The youngest piped up. The brunette shrugged an agreement.
“Such a waste - we waited hours for that coronation.”
“We had such a nice view, too.."
"A nice view of Prince Thor, certainly." The brunette nodded, her cheeks turning a slight pink.
The blonde smirked. "I'd even say Loki was glad Allfather Odin fell into the Odinsleep.. After all, that gave him access to the throne."
"Finally got him what he wanted," Mused the brunette.
The blonde huffed, "Though a lot of good it did him. Abandoned his wife and his honor, and what did he gain? He's likely in Helheim now.." The group murmured again in agreement.
Sigyn couldn’t take it anymore. "Excuse me - beg your pardon, ladies," She smiled, walking over to them. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."
The women's eyes went wide. They bowed, paying their respects. Sigyn nodded her own greeting.
The brunette was the first to speak. "Yes, Princess, we were discussing your husband.."
"And his life's motivations. I heard." Sigyn glanced at the blonde, who gulped.
"We meant no offense to you, Princess.."
"Tell me, did any of you know Loki?"
They shook their heads.
Sigyn sighed. "You must understand: he was not evil. The Loki I knew had not a single malicious bone in his body."
"But he was jealous, Princess. Lady Sif said so, I heard her discussing it over a goblet of mead.." The blonde fidgeted.
"And she's right."
The ladies blinked.
Sigyn straightened up. "Sif is correct. Loki was jealous. And do you know why? He spent his life feeling less than Thor. How do you think Loki felt, then, when he found out his life was a lie? That his greatest fear was true because he was different, he was lesser?”
The women were quiet. Sigyn paused, then continued.
“Loki didn't want the throne. He wanted to be like Thor. To be equal, not less. So when Queen Frigga gave him the throne - he took it. She told him to make his father proud, and he tried to do just that. He tried to prove to Odin he loved him, he was his son, and - and yes, he tried to have Thor killed." Sigyn swallowed.
"I won't deny that. He likely did it to prevent Thor returning and squelching his efforts. But consider why he did it. Loki was... Mislead. He made the wrong choices. He tried to prove himself by vanquishing the Frost Giants, Laufey among them. And what did he have to go off of?" She laughed a single, sad laugh, "We're all raised to fear Jotuns! Slay them like the stupid beasts they are! Hunt them down, bludgeon them! What else would you expect him to do?"
By now a small crowd had gathered. Curious passersby all stared at the princess.
They probably think I'm mad, Sigyn mused, But I don't care. This isn't about me. It's about Loki.
"So he tried it. He tried massacring the Jotuns - and was foiled. Again. By Thor. Again! He was trying to prove himself! Desperately grasping at the final threads of hope! And on the Bifrost," Her breath caught in her throat, "On the Bifrost, that night, he begged Odin for approval. And how did Odin respond? He said no to his son, to the boy who only wanted to be as loved by his parents as his brother was." A tear streaked down her cheek.
"And he fell. He gave up. My husband died because his hope ran out. He could bear the pain no longer." Sigyn stepped toward the blonde, "So the next time you talk about Loki, I ask you to remember that. I hope you remember how my husband, the most wonderful, beautiful man I knew, lost hope that night. And now he's gone."
Without another word, Sigyn turned. Pushed past the crowd, ignoring their stares and whispers.
"Come, Villeildr," She mounted her horse, squeezing his sides with her legs, "It's time we take our leave."
Later that night, Sigyn was in the library when a familiar voice called her.
"I thought you'd be here." Fandral stepped in, smirking, his cape sweeping behind him.
"Here I am." Sigyn's focus remained on the book.
"I heard you had a run-in with some acquaintances of mine today."
Sigyn stopped reading.
Fandral continued. "Gave them quite the talking to. Did you rehearse it, or did it simply come to you?"
She shut the book, peering up at him. "They were lying about Loki."
"You seem to forget he lied too.."
"Of course he did. We all do; that doesn't make it right. They were lying about him, Fandral, disrespecting the dead - spreading false rumors about how he 'always wanted the throne.'"
"Well, he was always jealous of Thor.."
She huffed, "I know."
They sat a moment in silence. Fandral moved closer. "I was hoping you would join me for a drink tonight. You’ve barely left the palace in.. Well, far too long."
"I don't drink."
He looked hurt. "You used to."
"There are many things I used to do." She returned to her book, hoping he’d get the hint.
"And I could help you with more than one, if you so wished..."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Remember that bit about respecting the dead?"
"You're doing a horrid job."
"Now, even I can't be the best at everything, dearest Sigyn."
"Oh, I believe it." She smirked.
His brow furrowed. "You were meant to be the goddess of compassion, you know."
"Compassion is like sympathy; I can sympathize with you and still point out the fact you're inappropriate."
"You sympathize with me?" He smirked.
"Fandral, do not twist my words.."
"Even if it makes you smile?" He tilted his head slightly. She couldn't resist a small huff of a laugh.
With a slight sigh, he took her hand and kissed it. "Ah, I may never be anything more than your friend, Sigyn," He lowered her hand, smiling at her. "But even if that's the case, I am honored to be your friend."
She smirked, nodding at him once. "Thank you. You're a good friend, Fandral.. Even if you are rude."
With another chuckle, he sprung to his feet. "Until we meet again, fair Sigyn," He bowed, "I take my leave." Turning on his heel, he headed for the door.
"Don't get too drunk. Lady Sif is tired of cleaning up after you."
He shot her a grin, then disappeared around the corner.
He's going to get absolutely ruined. Sigyn thought to herself, shaking her head.
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You always have a choice: 1
Loki and you are in prison together. An oppertunity presents itself and the two fo you can escape. But things take an unexpected turn.
Angst, mention of torture and abuse (but not in detail what happened), eventually smut!
Hope you like it! If you have any ideas, requests or comments, plese let me know.
Click here for chapter 2
‘Can you breathe any louder?’ Loki asked you irritatingly. Like your punishment couldn’t get any worse, you had to share a cell with the God of Mischief and Lies. The only upside was his mother, making sure he had plenty of books, a comfy chair, and a table. She even got him a bed, even tough it was one bed. Even her influence was limited, but you were more than grateful for these extra’s in your shared cell. Of course, Loki wouldn’t let you sleep in the bed. No, you should be happy he was not making you sleep on the floor. He gave you the chair to sleep in instead, bastard.
‘What was that, dear?’ you asked innocently. You knew how annoyed he would get when you called him by a nickname. Loki certainly was a dominant man, and nicknames was not something he accepted. You smirked when he didn’t answer you, he just grumbled at the name you gave him. You grabbed one of his books and began to read it. You were halfway the first chapter when you hear an annoying voice say ‘Who told you that you could grab my things?’
‘Come on, I’m bored out of my mind. It’s not like you need all these books at the same time’ you argued back. Loki, who was sitting on the floor against the wall, got up and strut towards you. He slapped the book out of your hands. The book went flying against the wall, the barrier burned it a bit. It made a hard sound when it hit the floor. ‘Those are MINE’ he growled. He didn’t move from his position, trying to dominate you with his stance. You were still sitting on the floor on the opposite side from where he sat. You weren’t having this. You looked him straight in his eyes ‘The fact that I’m stuck in here is also YOURS’ you said back.
Loki gave you a mean glare but returned to his original position, sitting across the ground on the other side of the cell. You had to admit, it wasn’t entirely his fault that the two of you were stuck in this cell. You had to steal the Tesseract from Odin’s fault, and it took a long time planning the heist too. Everything was in place, until he had to ruin it, of course. You knew he was planning on taking the Tesseract himself, some people close to him told you. But the idiot hadn’t taking into account the new alarm system. So, when he set it off the guards were gathering around you. They saw you holding the Tesseract and Loki standing right behind you. Your explanation to the Allfather didn’t matter, what you did was wrong and both of you needed to be punished.
You could handle the imprisonment, it wasn’t the first time you were. But imprisonment with him was. And you knew he hated it as much as you. You were convinced the only reason Odin put you in a cell together, was to add a sting to Loki’s sentence. You looked around the prison, your cell was the only on with furniture and books, thanks to Frigga. How the other prisoners coped, you did not know. You turned your attention back to Loki. He licked the tip of his index finger and turned a page. You got up and sat in the chair, also known as your bed.
‘Loki, I’m bored’ you whined to him. ‘That is not my problem, tell someone who cares’ he replied. ‘You are the only one here’ you sighed. ‘How lucky are you’ he said sarcastically. ‘What, if you weren’t there I wouldn’t be caught. Unlike you, I had an escape plan´ you argued. Loki just smirked ‘What was your escape plan on Jotunheim?’ he asked. The remark gave you flashbacks to the time you tried to steal the source of powers from the Frost Giants. But Loki interrupted you suddenly, because he was there with Thor and the Warrior Three on a different quest. You hadn’t had an escape plan and spend the next six months in this prison. After that you ran into him in a sleezy bar far away from Asgard, right before he tried to take over Midgard. You should have known he faked his death. Even tough you hated him, you had to admit he didn’t look like himself. He looked awful.
When you heard the Tesseract was on Midgard, you went yourself. When you saw him on Midgard he looked even more terrible. His hair was a mess, he had dark circles under his eyes and was walking with a limp. Something that was weir, considering he healed fast. But you didn’t care, you had a mission the finish. If you didn’t you would pay for it with your life. It was annoying that Loki himself wanted the same thing you were after. You felt Loki trying to invade your mind. ‘Stop it’ you yelled. Hoping that he would, because you didn’t know how to stop this kind of attack. Loki just smirked and returned to his book.
Your favourite guard brought the two of you your lunch. ‘Thank you, Baldar’ you said when he opened a small part of the barrier and slide two meals inside. ‘My pleasure’ Balder replied politely. You saw Loki role his eyes at the interaction, but he didn’t say anything, You grabbed your tray and began to eat the meal, it tasted terrible. ‘How is it?’ Loki asked. ‘What do you think?’’ you replied. Loki got up, grabbed his tray, and tasted it You smiled when you saw his face scrunch. ‘I may have found something more terrible than you’ he said while scrunching his face.
The rest of the midday, you two didn’t speak to each other. You grabbed another book and luckily Loki didn’t smash it from you. The lights were going off and you realised was night-time. You had enough of the chair you were sleeping in and decided to lay down on the bed. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Loki asked, when he saw you laying down in his bed. ‘I’m going to sleep you answered while pulling the blankets closer to your chest. Loki must have been tired because he didn’t argue with you. He just sighed and walked towards the bed.
He laid beside you. Just before you drifted to sleep, he grabbed your throat. ‘What game are you playing?’ he asked. You tried to not be intimidated ‘Look, I needed the Tesseract, I wasn’t planning to use it for my own. But even if I do get out now, I’m in trouble’ you finally snapped. You had no interest in telling him your problems, but knew that lying to him was pointless. Loki didn’t say anything for a long time. He let go of your throat and laid back down facing you. ‘What if I’m in that predicament too?’ he asked you. You didn’t know how to respond to that. Loki could never know that you encountered Thanos and that he expected you to deliver the Tesseract. He didn’t have to know what you went trough, it was too painful to think about. You didn’t know what situation Loki got himself into, but you couldn’t let him best you anymore. Thanos’ patience had run out and you were in serious trouble. ‘Trust me, it’s not the same’ you replied. You closed your eyes and turned around.
It was the middle of the night when you woke from a loud explosion. ‘What is happening?’ you asked. You looked around your cell and saw another cell with its barrier breached. A prisoner was freeing some of the other inmates from different cells. This was your chance! Before you moved you felt one of Loki’s arms retracting from your sides. ‘Well, good luck to you, daring’ he purred. Was he just cuddling you? You decided not to dwell on it. You grumbled at him, you hated when he called you by a nickname, and you knew he knew that. The prison was now absolute in chaos. Guards were running around, and more and more barriers were breached. It didn’t take long before the barrier of your cell was broken. Loki and you exchanged a look before running in the opposite way from each other.
The chaos was your moment of opportunity. You ran towards the vault, there were only two guards guarding the door. You took them both out quickly and entered the vault. You ran to the end of the hall. There you saw it, the emulating light blue cube that you needed to escape whatever death Thanos had in store for you. You picked up the Tesseract when you heard a voice behind you ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you’.
‘You have no idea what you’re talking about. Just leave me alone’ you said.
‘If you bring him that he is just going to send you to get another stone. If you fail him you die, if you don’t and he succeeds that chance of you dying is about 50 percent’ Loki told you.
You just stared at Loki with wide eyes. ‘How do you know that?’ you asked. He took a few steps towards you, standing very close before you. ‘I’ve been doing everything in my power to stop Thanos, you on the other hand have not been making that task easy’ he growled.
‘How do you know about him?’ you yelled.
‘There was a time he thought I was working for him. I know more about him than you might think’ he answered.
‘Then you know I have no choice, I’ll be dead if I don’t do this’
‘I didn’t do it and I’m still alive’ he quipped back.
‘Unlike you I don’t have magic to help me’ you took a step back and turned around. Ready to teleport with the Tesseract out of the vault. Loki grabbed your wrist and spun you back around. ‘You have me’ he said.
‘What?’ you asked absolutely stunned. ‘There’s always a choice, darling. You have three options. One, you give him the stone and probably die serving him the rest of your life. Two, you hide on your own, but he surely finds you and you die anyway. And don’t for a second think it would be quick and painless. We both know Thanos doesn’t do that.’ Tears were starting to form in your eyes, thinking back to all the torture you had been put trough. You noticed the look in Loki’s eyes, you saw something vulnerable in them. ‘What is the third one?’ you asked. ‘You come with me, I’ll keep you safe. And we think of a plan to stop him’ he gave you a genuine smile.
‘You hate me, why would you do that?’ you asked.
‘Just because we’re enemies doesn’t mean I hate you. We both did what needed to be done to survive. But, you have 10 seconds to decide before an army of guards burst through those doors’
For a few seconds you looked at him and thought over your options. Did you really have a choice? you thought. ‘Fine, I’ll go with you’ you said before your time was up. Loki engulfed you in a hug and a green shimmer formed around you. You started to feel dizzy and closed your eyes, leaning on Loki. You heard him chuckle. ‘As much as I enjoy this, you can open your eyes and let go now’ he said. You did as he said and found yourself standing in the middle of a cottage. ‘Where are we?’ you asked. ‘My safehouse somewhere in the woods on Midgard. You can relax, Thanos won’t find you here. I put up shields, nobody knows we’re here’ he answered.
You moved around the cottage. It was slightly bigger than the cell you just escaped from. There was a fire burning in the hearth, with in front of it a very comfy looking couch. There was a big bookcase with a desk and a comfortable lounge chair. The kitchen was small, but all the essentials were there. There was one door which led to the bathroom, with only a shower, sink, and a toilet. When you closed the door and stood in the main room you noticed that there was one large bed. You glared at Loki ‘I’m not sleeping in a chair again’ you said. Loki laughed ‘The bed is big enough for two, I think you’ll be fine’
‘One thing, I need you to hand me the Tesseract. My shiels may hide us, but they can still sense it is here’
You doubted giving him the cube. He saw the doubt in your eyes. ‘I made a promise to keep you safe, all you need to do is trust me’ he added.
‘Would you trust you?’ you asked.
‘Probably not, but I need you to’ he said back.
You took a deep breath and gave him the Tesseract. What choice did you have anyway? A green shimmer started to shine over the cube, and it slowly disappeared in his hands. He gave you a reassuring smile. Despite the fire burning you felt a little cold. ‘I’m going back to bed’ you said. Loki nodded, followed you and laid down next to you. Even tough the bed had room for four people in it, Loki laid close enough for you to feel his warmth. The orange light of the fire was dancing over his face, and you noticed that Loki was quite an attractive man. The only thing you wanted to do that moment was cuddle closer, lay on his chest and fall asleep while he was holding you close to him. You were wondering what sparked these feelings. You never thought about him that way. But then again, this was the first time you felt safe in a very long time. He made you feel safe.
‘See something you like?’ Loki smirked. That was when you realized that you were staring a bit too long at him. You felt yourself starting to blush. You wanted to turn around, but Loki put a hand on your shoulder to stop you. He moved closer to you and you froze, not knowing how to react. He didn’t stop until his lips almost touched yours. He looked in your eyes intently, waiting for you to make a move. You shut your eyes and closed the distance between the two of you. His lips started to move softly against yours. The way his lips felt on yours, you needed more, more of him. You put a hand on his neck and deepened the kiss. Loki eagerly returned your affection by sliding his tongue in your mouth. His hand trailed from your shoulder to your lower back. He pulled you closer to him. You put a hand under his t-shirt, starting to explore his chest and abbs. Loki started to kiss down your neck and you felt him smile against your skin.
He stopped to crawl on top of you and removed his shirt. You couldn’t keep his hands off him. He ducked back down to kiss you. He starting to kiss you deeper and faster. Your hands started to stroke his back and you opened your legs to pull him closer. He moaned into your mouth. It spurred you on to undo the button of his pants. ‘Eager, aren’t you?’ Loki smirked at you. You stayed silence and pulled his pants from his bottom. He helped you by taking them off completely. You tried to pull him down to kiss you, but he grabbed your hands and put them down beside your head. ‘Now, I don’t think this is quite fair’ he said. ‘Well, I always was a few steps ahead of you’ you smirked. Loki let out a low growl. He found the clasp of your dress and unlocked it, immediately pulling the fabric from your body. You laid beneath him, in your lingerie. ‘If I knew you were this underneath your clothes, I would have done this much sooner’ he whispered to you.
He started to kiss you, while his hands were roaming your body. You did the same and couldn’t help but land your hands on his butt. You give him a light squeeze, making Loki moan hard. You really liked this side of him. He undid your bra and hooked his fingers on the side of your thong. ‘Wait’ you said. Loki immediately froze and looked at you questionably. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked. You felt a little bad, seeing the worry in his eyes. ‘Nothing, I just want you to undress first’ you smirked at him. Luckily, your comment put the twinkle back in his eyes. ‘Have you earned that?’ he challenged you. ‘I’ve bested you in most situations, so yeah, I’ve earned it’ you grinned widely at him. He just chuckled ‘I will let you think that, but you still haven’t earned it, darling’ he said. He pulled your thong down and you were now completely naked underneath him.
‘You look absolutely beautiful’ he sighed while kissing your stomach, trailing downwards. You thought he was going for your clit, but instead he just resumes kissing you. His lips went to your hips and your upper thigh, down towards your knees. He trailed back upwards, but still was avoiding the place you needed him the most. ‘Loki’ you panted. ‘Hmm, say that again’ he hummed. His lips trailed further upwards until he reached your neck. ‘Loki, please’ you panted again. You felt him hum again, and he sunk his teeth in your neck. You hissed from the sudden action, he didn’t bite down hard, it was enough for you to feel alive but not hard enough to actually pierce your skin. ‘If you want something, all you got to do is ask’ he purred. ‘You really think you got the upper hand here, do you?’ you asked. Loki didn’t have to answer you, his face said it all. He did.
That’s when you bucked your hips and rolled against his. You felt his erection clearly through his fabric. Your wetness left a small stain on his boxers, only adding friction to your movement. Loki let out a silent moan. He replicates the movement and didn’t stop. The fabric of his boxers between the two of you felt thicker each time he slid it against your core. Loki let out a hard growl ‘Fuck it’ he said. You were a bit shocked, you never heard Loki curse before, he always kept his composure. He leaned back a bit and undid himself of his boxer. He laid back down on top of you, putting more weight on you than before. ‘Normally I would play with you for hours, but right now I need you’ he whispered in your ear. Without any hesitation you opened your legs more and felt Loki enter you. He certainly was bigger than you first anticipated. He filled you up like you never had before. You felt every movement he made, every vein on his cock and it felt like Valhalla itself. Loki, who was thrusting slowly in and almost out of you, picked up the pace. The length of his erection reached all the way to your G-spot. The way he hit that sensitive spot inside of you made squeeze around his cock. He started to moan, grunt and curse under his breath.
He didn’t slow down. The way he fucked you could only be described as animalistic. Like he was denied his release for so long, he couldn’t hold back anymore. You put your hands in his hair and pulled him down for a kiss. He started to kiss you like he was fucking you. Leaving fast and open mouth kisses on your mouth, your cheek, and your neck. His put a leg over his shoulder and you felt his fingertips grab you hips tighter. You knew for sure his kisses and hands would leave you bruised the next morning. But you didn’t mind that people could see you were his, you knew he was doing this for that reason on purpose. ‘I’m close’ Loki panted. He put one of his fingers on your clit, drawing circles on it with much pressure. The only thing you could do was moan his name. You moaned it over and over again. Loki grabbed your chin and kissed you. He broke the kiss to let out a loud grunt. Your orgasm hit you hard and you felt his seed spill inside of you.
Loki pumped in and out of you a few more times, before he collapsed on his back beside you.
‘That was amazing’
he panted. You were out of breath and the only thing you did was hum in agreement. After Loki had cleaned himself up, you went into the bathroom to do the same. When you walked back to the bed you saw Loki almost drifting to sleep. He looked innocent and pure in that moment. You crawled into the bed and he immediately grabbed you and pulled you close to him.
‘I’m never letting you go’
he whispered to you.
‘You better not’
you quipped back. He nuzzled his face further in the crook of your neck. His arms tightened around you. For the first time you felt safe, peaceful, and relaxed. The problems the two of you were facing would come tomorrow, but right now, everything was perfect.
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Of Twisted Emotions - Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Mountain’s Peak
The trek with Loki is long and arduous. It’s filled with pitfalls, icy slopes, and avalanches of blue. It’s a tricky climb, which you had both anticipated.
Some conversations send each of you plummeting towards the mountain’s base. Sometimes one of you pushes the other down, unintentionally or otherwise. They are unavoidable – these accusations and careless words. There’s an undercurrent of pain that will forever flow through both of your lives.
The slate isn’t clean. It never can be.
But you climb, inevitably helping one another over each treacherous danger, intent on moving towards normal, towards familiar. Building on what is left.
You start with periodic conversations. And when things don’t hurt as much – when staying in touch begins to feel natural – you find that the prince’s voice fills your head every day.
And while it isn’t always easy, it is at least easier.
- - -
You catch wind of the plans for Thor’s coronation from the other soldiers in the camp, although you do not dare to hope. You’re hesitant to bring it up with Loki, but the topic is inevitable. A lot rides on this event for the both of you.
I wonder if Thor’s advisors will convince him to keep me imprisoned, Loki ponders one night. Even he can’t deny the danger I pose after… everything.
You roll onto your back and stare up at the star-dotted sky. One of Asgard’s moons is full, and the light doesn’t lend itself to sleep. But Loki is always ready to talk. What else is he to do?
And everyone knows he loves to talk.
I think it’d take a lot of convincing, you reply. Thor’s been trying to get Odin to let him talk to you. I figure he’ll take the throne and then come knocking. You purse your lips and then ask, Can someone knock on the cell barrier? Or would it zap them, or something?
You can’t hear Loki sigh, but you know he does. Insufferable, he says at last. I sit here fretting over my freedom, and you have nothing to offer but unimportant musings.
You grin at the stars, although you have to admit he has a point. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Look, I know you have your doubts, but I… I don’t know, I think it’ll be okay.
You don’t give voice to the fact that this foolish hope is all the two of you have left.
And perhaps such a thing is not so foolish after all. Because things do indeed change under Thor Odinson’s rule. They change swiftly.
The very evening Thor becomes king, Loki is moved from the dungeons to his old rooms. Although still confined to his quarters, it is a vast improvement, for which he’s grateful.
Loki runs his fingers across one of his bookshelves, tracing each novel’s familiar spine, and shakes his head at the notion. Grateful to his brother, the king…. These are strange times indeed.
It is the day after Thor is crowned that a blue raven flies into your camp with a royal scroll in its beak. It searches for your unit’s leader, and when its message is delivered, the bird fades into the dark blue magic it was birthed from.
Then, at last, Destin hands you the scroll, its wax seal unbroken. Your pardon from Thor, King of Asgard.
It doesn’t truly set in at first. You reach the end of the message and realize your chest hurts. Every bit of emotion you’ve been carrying has decided to ball up right behind your rib cage.
You read it again. And again. And once more, so that you’re certain you’ll never forget the words. It’s in the middle of your last readthrough that you realize there’s tears in your eyes. Your hands shake, making the words harder to follow. Asgardian speech is full of long sentences with flowery language, but you know exactly what these paragraphs mean.
You’re going home.
- - -
As you enter the city, you pass a troop of soldiers heading out. You spot familiar faces, although none you wish to speak with. You return your attention to the gate, but have yet to walk through when you hear your name from a familiar and welcome voice.
“Bjorn!” You can hardly believe your eyes, and you move to meet him halfway when he breaks from the group.
“Warrior!” he greets you, his tone as warm as his smile. You briefly clasp forearms and grin at one another as he states, “Oh, it is good to see you alive and well! You know how rumors spread.”
“Boy, do I,” you say with a grimace. “Although, I guess a lot of it may not be rumors this time.”
“Unfortunately, our paths haven’t crossed at a time for conversation,” Bjorn says, sounding a bit miffed at the situation. He pauses and covers a cough with his arm, then frowns as he says, “We march to quell a small rebellion in the west.”
“We should talk when you get back,” you tell him. “I know you had a lot go on while I was away. And… well… there’s a lot from my end, too. If you want the whole story.”
“I very much want the whole story,” Bjorn states. He glances towards the tail end of his troop, which is slowly growing further and further away. He rests his hand on his sword hilt as he turns back to you. “Warrior. I want to apologize.”
“No need,” you tell him, not unkindly.
People act on impulses, especially under tense and urgent circumstances. You know this more than most.
The kiss was a frantic “what if”. What if you wanted to start over? What if you could let go? What if it was something more than friendship?
But it wasn’t. It isn’t. You both know this.
Bjorn acknowledges these unsaid things with a nod. “I hold you in high esteem, my friend. You’ve fought by my side. Saved my life. I do not care what Asgard whispers.”
You hold Bjorn’s gaze, and at long last, truly match his smile.
- - -
None care to visit Loki, save for Thor and Frigga. Occasionally Odin.
And now you.
The first time you’re allowed to see him, you feel snakes writhe in your stomach. Even the sight of his door is overwhelming.
Thor had instructed the guards to let you speak to Loki alone, and although they aren’t pleased, they do allow you to step over the threshold without them.
You feel your breath catch in your throat when you see him.
Loki stands across the sitting room, clothed in royal garb once more, which further pushes the feeling of familiarity. Your footsteps die six feet away as you search his gaze.
Gone is the burning man with a stranger’s face.
In his place is your Loki. Perhaps thinner than he should be, and he could undoubtedly use some more sleep, but he seems… alive again. His eyes, you can’t stop yourself from studying them; that shrewd, green gaze you know so well.
Your mind calls up varying memories of the Loki you’d found on Earth, comparing each to the man in front of you and discarding them one by one. There is no blue. No twisted hatred. You know he’s not the same as his old self, but you decide to cross that bridge when you get there. Neither of you can go back to who you were before it all. You’ve made your peace with it.
Hopefully, he can, too.
Loki says your name, scrutinizing you as much as you are him. He’s guarded, but you know him well enough to see he’s nervous. The realization makes your shoulders relax, although the tension in the room remains.
You take a tentative step forward. Then another. When you keep moving, he steps forward as well.
And when you meet, you’re wrapped in his embrace. He’s rigid and unsure, but his hands still gather you close. You press your face against his chest and your fingers tighten in the back of his shirt.
“You’re home.” His voice is hushed, meant only for you to hear.
“You’re an asshole,” you choke out, your voice strained from withholding tears. “I fucking missed you.”
And he laughs softly in your ear.
- - -
Talking it out is neither fast nor fun. It takes days, weeks. It’ll take more. But each step forward gives you both a bit more closure than before.
Your chosen place for these talks is the fancy settee. Your legs dangle over its edge, your boots lightly tapping on the side of one of Loki’s many bookcases as you stare at the sitting room’s ceiling. You’re surprised there aren’t books up there, too.
You both talk of the scepter. Its voice. Its impact. Loki explains what he can recall of the Other, and you tell him of the voice you heard in New York and Asgard’s infirmary.
You both talk about Willow and The Avengers. Loki’s chaotic plan and the meaning behind it.
“I wanted it all,” he says one day, pacing past the settee as he explains. You vaguely remember when he’d said the same thing at the top of Stark’s tower. “The cube. The scepter. Earth. Asgard.” He pauses, and when you look up, you find him staring at you. He blinks and starts to pace again. “You.”
“Oh,” you say.
“All of it,” Loki tells you. “It seemed possible, as mad as it sounds. It seemed… simple.”
“It did make things seem really simple,” you agree, turning away to frown at the ceiling again.
After some more discussion, there’s a lull in the conversation. Loki walks to the chair closest to you and sits. He leans forward and rubs a hand across his face.
You see the gesture from the corner of your eye, and it worries you. It’s no secret that he’s not sleeping well. You sit up and stretch your arms, arcing your back until it pops. “It’s late,” you tell him.
When he doesn’t reply, you look over and realize his eyes are caught on your glove.
“It’s late,” you say again, softer this time, dropping your arms and breaking his gaze.
You don’t think he’s going to reply, but then….
The following silence is heavy, but you know you have to break it.
“I’ve got my own prison rooms to report to,” you say, habitually tugging at your glove as you stand.
He doesn’t say anything until you get to the door.
You hesitate at the door… and then open it. “Me, too.”
- - -
Periodically you meet with Thor, who has wholeheartedly welcomed you back.
“The council is perhaps a bit displeased that I’ve allowed you within our walls,” he tells you. “But I am king, so they may stay displeased.”
As precautious as Thor’s advisors are, they have convinced him to keep guards posted in the passages between the guest wing and the rest of the palace. It wouldn’t bother you, but you hate having to ask to go to the training grounds every day.
Because you know you need to train.
“The threat is real,” Loki tells you one night. “This ‘peace’, it’s not a reprieve. Thanos and those that follow him continue to plot in the shadows.”
It is your turn to pace Loki’s sitting room. “We have to be ready.”
“We aren’t,” he tells you flatly.
You bite your lip, worrying the skin until it hurts. Your hands ball into fists and then relax, over and over as you walk. The magnitude of it all, the lack of control… it’s daunting.
Your pacing lands you close to the settee, and so you force yourself to sit. “It feels like we’re sitting ducks.” Loki only stares at you from his chair, which makes you sigh. “You said that… that Thanos and the Other thought we’d be dangerous if we worked together. Which is why they pushed that separation.” You ponder in silence for a moment, and then ask, “Does that still count? Like, will it make any difference?”
“That was when we had the scepter and the Tesseract,” Loki reminds you. “Now, we’re removed from both, and you’re….”
He falls silent. You thread your fingers together and lean over, propping your elbows on your thighs and resting your forehead against your hands. You can feel the leather glove against your skin, cold, and now (unfortunately) familiar.
You hear Loki get up, and you figure he’s about to start pacing now that you’ve stilled. Instead, you feel him sit beside you on the settee.
He’s kept his distance since your initial embrace, but now you feel the light touch of his fingers on your forearm.
Your chest hurts. “It’s late,” you say, voice hushed.
“It is,” he agrees.
His fingers travel towards your wrist, the sensation leaving chill bumps in its wake. When his touch finally reaches your hand, you slowly lower your arm until it lays across Loki’s thigh, palm up.
Instead of pulling off your glove, he slips his fingers through yours. The pressure makes your wrist ache, but it isn’t as bad a pain as it has been.
“Don’t go,” Loki asks of you.
You’re silent for a long moment, staring at your hand in his. You sigh and lean your head on his shoulder. Time passes, although you’re not sure how long you sit with him.
But inevitably, you squeeze his hand, rise, and walk to the door.
- - -
You feel like you’re talking in circles. Thinking in circles. There’s too many questions, too many problems, and not enough answers. Not even close.
Training doesn’t help quiet your mind tonight, and instead of walking the familiar halls towards your room, you walk instead a different set of familiar halls.
“This is pointless,” your cranky guard states. “He’s no doubt asleep at this hour.”
“He’s not,” you reply, and knock on Loki’s door.
He is indeed awake.
Loki must have been in his sitting room, because he answers within a few, short seconds. You don’t miss the guard’s huff of annoyance as Loki closes the door behind you.
The prince says your name as you walk towards the settee.
“My mind won’t shut up,” you tell him. When you sit, you realize your heartbeat’s running on useless adrenaline, and your nerves are making your leg bounce. You run a hand through your hair and suck in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
“I can relate,” Loki says, taking his seat beside you.
You look around the room and realize the only light is coming from a candle next to the chair Loki likes to read in. “Where’s your book?” you ask.
“I… wasn’t reading tonight,” he tells you.
“What were you doing?”
There’s a stretch of silence, and then he nods. “Reflecting,” he finally decides.
“You should be sleeping, you know,” you tell him.
“Hypocrite,” he names you.
You run a hand through your hair again, mind still scattered. You realize there’s pressure on your thigh, and you find Loki’s placed his hand on your leg to stop its bouncing.
It works. Even with your leg still, his hand stays.
You know you need to calm down. The threat isn’t here, after all, and there’s no way for you to physically fight this feeling of trepidation.
You take another deep breath. “What were you reflecting on?” you ask him.
He’s quiet for a while, long enough for you to regret asking. But then he sighs and says, “On us.”
“Yeah?” you ask. “Got any specifics?”
You watch him as he stares at the flickering candle next to his vacant chair. Shadows play across his face, changing his features with every shift of the small flame. The silence is strangely comforting, and you can feel your heartbeat slow as it decides it no longer wants to break free of your ribs.
“Specifically,” Loki finally says, his words slow and laden with exhaustion, “how neither of us could kill the other. Even at our lowest. Even when it was the most beneficial, the most logical solution… neither of us did it.”
He turns to face you, candlelight reflected in his eyes. You can’t read his expression, especially not in the dancing shadows. You think on his words, and then say, “I’m glad. Guess it says something, huh?”
“I suppose it must,” he says softly, breaking from your gaze to stare across the room once more. He absentmindedly traces imaginary lines across your thigh as his mind chases different trains of thought.
You catch his attention again when you take his hand. He stares, frown pronounced as his fingers interlace with leather. “Do you wear this to sleep?” he asks, thumb skating across your glove.
“Yeah,” you say. “It kinda… glows. So… yeah. Sig got me a pair of cloth gloves, so I use one of them instead of this leather one when I need to sleep. They’re thinner.”
“I see,” Loki says.
You extract your hand from his, hesitate, and then carefully pull on each of the glove’s fingers. You slip it off and set it aside, and then offer your dimly glowing hand to Loki.
“Does it hurt?” he asks you, morbidly curious.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” you say, hoping to wipe the pained look off his face.
“Had I not –”
“Don’t,” you warn him. “Don’t finish that sentence.”
His lips press into a thin line, but he acquiesces.
Loki holds your hand in both of his, feeling the strange, solid magic that hums beneath his fingers. You aren’t used to the sensation of touch with your hand of light, as you try to keep a glove on when at all possible. It’s almost… cathartic to feel Loki gently press his fingers against your palm, his thumb carefully sliding across the back of your hand.
“Are you…” he begins, but seems at a loss for words.
“Am I?” you ask. His troubled look prompts you to guess, “Am I… okay?” When he subtly nods his head, you let out a short laugh. “Kind of? I’m… fine. Eventually, I’ll be okay. It’s a part of me. That’s it. It’s just a part of me now.” You stare at your hand, Loki’s fingers a black silhouette against the light. “Are you okay?” you ask him.
“As you’ve said,” he tells you smoothly, “I will be.”
Loki releases your hand so you can slip on your glove, and when it’s in place, you flex your fingers out of habit. You glance at him and then say, “Glad we didn’t kill each other.”
You stand up, Loki following suit. You’re already turning towards the door when you say, “It’s la–”
“Late,” Loki finishes as he catches your wrist.
You look back at him, at his fingers closed around the cuff of your glove.
“I know I’ve no right to ask,” he says quietly. “And yet, I ask.” Loki closes the distance between the two of you, and your heart stutters as his nose brushes yours. “Don’t go.”
Maybe it’s because it’s late.
Maybe it’s because you didn’t kill each other.
Or maybe it’s because you still love him.
But ultimately, you figure the reason doesn’t really matter.
This time, you kiss him.
- - -
You and Loki can walk the city, so long as guards shadow your steps. You don’t really care for it, but to some extent, it does help soothe your restless spirit.
At first, the public was confused. The rumors that had spread through Asgard were undoubtedly exaggerated, and they certainly misconstrued parts of the truth (although the truth itself doesn’t paint either of you in a good light). But it is not as if the two of you have ever been especially beloved by Asgard, not nearly on the level to which the people hold Thor. And Thor has freed you, the Asgardians tell themselves, so surely you must be able to keep that murderous nature in check. The both of you have been held accountable for crimes against Midgard, not Asgard.
So, as the people grow accustomed to seeing the two of you, while many still cut unsavory glances, the hatred has somewhat dulled. Indifference is mostly what you see. You have not impacted their lives, and so they continue living.
The whispers are worth being free of the palace. They’re worth the trips to Sigrid and Asmund’s, where you feel normal and welcome. They’re worth dropping by the sorcerers’ guild, where none of the members seem to think any different of Loki – if anything, they’re eager to learn what secrets he’s gathered from his morbid misadventure.
However, these pleasant bubbles of the past cannot mask the grim situation brewing in the galaxy. One of which Thor’s council has now been made aware of and are eager to discuss. And on this day, they want you there.
You thought you’d be more nervous as you step into the council’s war room. It’s a large room, like most are in the palace, with a long table in its center. Thor’s at its head, and while he’s kept Odin’s council intact, he’s added Sif and what remains of The Warriors Three to his circle of advisors.
“Warrior,” Thor greets you with a smile.
“Hey,” you answer, offering him a weak grin as you waver near the door. “You, um, wanted to see me?”
Hogun crosses his arms, the expression on his face mirrored by the members of Thor’s council, save for Sif and Volstagg.
“Aye,” Thor says, motioning you forward and nodding his head towards one of the empty chairs. “I’ve something to ask of you, my friend.”
And as you listen, you realize that Thor does have a plan for you, after all. He’d pardoned you for his own personal reasons, you have no doubt, but now he’s found a way to truly free you. One with which none on his council can argue.
“Okay,” you state, and you’re pretty sure your body feels significantly lighter. “Yeah. I accept.”
That night, when you visit the prince, you repeat Thor’s words with an eagerness that stems from your desire to do something. At last, you can stop agonizing over circumstances beyond your control. You no longer have to be a faux prisoner in Asgard’s halls.
Loki doesn’t seem particularly pleased with the plan, though you know he will not stop you. But when you reach the end of your explanation, and silence reigns, you abruptly cease your pacing and hold his gaze. “Come with me.”
His thoughts seem to pause, shift gears, and rapidly head down a different path. “Truly?” he asks you.
“Yes,” you answer, as if it’s simple.
And maybe this time, it is.
“You could no doubt accomplish such a task alone,” Loki says, his tone nonchalant as he considers the idea.
“I don’t want to be alone.”
A smile slowly spreads across his face, one you aren’t sure you’ve seen in over a year. At last, he says, “Neither do I.”
- - -
At the mountain’s peak, you find yourself in a ceremony.
Your dress is emerald green, the fabric silky against your skin. You’re glad there’s a slit in its long skirt, so you can actually walk. The bodice fastens around your neck, leaving your arms and back exposed. The dress belt has thin, silver spirals and swirls that are interspersed with small gems.
The dress makes you more nervous than the ceremony itself, but Frigga is the one that had it made for you, so there’s no way in hell you can refuse to wear it. She’s gifted you a piece of jewelry to go with it; a golden bracelet winds up your wrist, forming a snake with green, jeweled eyes. On your other hand is a lace glove, your hand of light showing through its intricate design.
The queen has even given you a scabbard that fits the dagger you made for the ceremony. The dark leather is embossed with geometric patterns and swirls, and it sits comfortably on your hip, attached to your dress belt.
At least you have that part of the wedding to look forward to.
You figure most of the people gathered are attending for the feast rather than the ceremony, and you don’t blame them. You aren’t keen on a wedding, either. But you said you’d do it, so here you are.
You end up alone with Sigrid in one of the palace’s dressing rooms, which allows you a brief moment of relief after the whirlwind of Frigga’s servants, who had assisted you in dressing. Sigrid makes a fuss about your hair when she helps you don your bridal crown. You had no plans on wearing one, which Sig had apparently foreseen and set about correcting over the past week. And while you know next to nothing about plants and flowers, you can tell Sigrid’s put a lot of care into the ceremonial crown.
“It’s perfect,” you tell her warmly, taking her hands in yours so she’ll stop fretting over your appearance. “Love you, Siggy. Thank you. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
Sigrid knows you mean everything. She has stayed with you through the worst and the best of it – from that ugly blue dress to this gorgeous bridal crown. Sigrid’s smile is dazzling, and when she hugs you, you’re struck by the fact that she’s almost taller than you are. She laughs pleasantly and tells you, “I love you, too.”
“You look gorgeous,” Willow’s voice states from near the door, and you turn to find your best friend has finally arrived. “Sorry I’m late!”
Will’s tired eyes hint at too many restless nights, but her broad smile is genuine as she crosses the room to hug you. A lot of hugs today, you think. Hopefully it’s not a trend that will continue throughout the rest of the evening.
“Are you ready?” Will asks as she releases you.
“No. Yes?” You sigh heavily and shake your head. “This ceremony shit means a lot to people here, so I’ll go ahead and… participate.”
“Oh, you’re going to dislike it, I’m sure,” Sigrid pipes up, hiding a little laugh behind her hand. “But it’s going to be lovely.”
“Agreed,” Will says with a grin, and she gently pats you on the arm in a show of comfort. At least you think it’s comfort, until you see a mischievous shift in her expression, and she says, “Come on, Princess, it’s wedding time!”
Sigrid has to hide her face, either from trying to hold in laughter or from the look you’re giving Willow.
You’re nervous until you see him.
You walk through the crowd of Asgardians, the evening breeze ruffling the ribbons and flowers in your crown. The sound right next to your ears drowns out the murmurs of the people gathered, although you can still feel too many pairs of eyes on you.
One eye is especially heavy; Odin is present, although you’re sure his attendance is by Queen Frigga’s design. Most of this wedding is, after all.
The sight of Will at the front of the crowd gives you something to focus on and further assuages your fears as you make your way towards the center of the courtyard.
The circular wedding pavilion is large, crafted of white marble that seems to gleam in the evening sun. Golden fabric flows down the structure’s pillars, and vibrant flowers line its sides. Soft lights bob through the air, and while they remind you of fireflies, you realize they’re made of magic. A wide, flat dais sits in the pavilion’s center, which is where Loki waits.
You feel like you can finally breathe when you reach him. He looks… regal. Like true royalty. In classic Asgardian fashion, his ceremonial outfit is (in your opinion) overly intricate and detailed, yet today you can’t be bothered to pretend you don’t notice how well he wears it. You note the sword belt around Loki’s waist, and you subconsciously brush your arm against the sheathed dagger at your hip.
Loki looks sharp. He looks dangerous.
He looks happy to see you.
Loki has known from the beginning that you are a foreigner, not only to Asgard, but to the entire realm itself. But you fit in amongst the humans and Asgardians, so much so that he hasn’t dwelled on the fact in quite a while. But you don’t look anything like a human in this moment – not to him. You’re otherworldly. And he’s admittedly a bit stunned.
As you draw closer, Loki notices belladonna in your bridal crown, woven with ribbons and nestled next to dark, red roses. The crown’s metalwork is carefully detailed, although the design is simpler than some he’s seen. His mother must have asked it of the makers, knowing such a thing would be more suited to your tastes.
When you join him on the dais it’s clear to him that you’re uncomfortable, but you’re smiling at him anyway. This ceremony isn’t going to mean much to you – your bond with him has been long established within your own culture, after all – but the fact that you’re going through it all for him is incredibly satisfying.
Upsetting Odin is also satisfying, that Loki will concede.
Thor is officiating, which Loki had been adamantly against during the wedding planning. He relented only when it was pointed out that nothing could make the union more official in the eyes of the law than if the law himself was officiating. And so, Thor stands with the two of you on the dais.
You think the ceremony is similar to Sigrid and Asmund’s, aside from Thor’s excited, booming voice. You quote the same texts they did, and you ask for the same kind of blessings from the fates. Whether you think said fates are listening or not doesn’t seem to matter.
There are holes in the wedding where your family should be, so you’ve asked Willow to give her blessing instead. She’s closer than family to you, anyway. You’re surprised when Thor himself chimes in with his blessing during this part of the ceremony, and when you look over at him, you have to blink a few times to stop any tears from falling.
Queen Frigga voices her approval when it is time for Loki’s family to speak, although Odin is notably silent. Thor carries on and gives his blessing again, completely unbothered.
“Aye, this is the part I’m sure you’re excited for, Warrior,” Thor tells you, and then loudly proclaims that it’s time for you and Loki to present one another with the blades of your ancestors.
Loki meets your eyes and draws his sword, and for a moment, you’re taken back to your fight against him in Stark Tower. The difference between the memory and the present is truly astonishing.
What a journey it has been, Loki’s voice says in your mind.
Aloud, he states, “I chose this one for you.”
Your eyes are drawn to the sword – silver, of course. Its hilt ends in a sizable, pointed diamond, which catches the light in interesting ways has Loki turns the blade towards the wedding guests. Its hand guard is sleek, the metal sweeping back over its grip, and you note that it seems surprisingly functional for a decorative, old sword.
“I present to you one of the swords of the family Odinson,” Loki says, although you can feel flashes of… somethingwhen he says the family name. “It is to be a symbol of our union.”
He passes you the blade, and you realize… it’s sharp. He’s had it sharpened. This isn’t something to hang on a wall, meant for decoration, this is something you can strap to your hip and actually use.
“It is to show that while I may wish to protect you, I am well aware that you can protect yourself,” Loki says, and although the smile on his face is dangerously close to a smirk, you can hear the sincerity in his tone. “It is to show that I will fight at your side, and that your battles are mine as well.”
You can feel your face flush, but that doesn’t seem to dissuade him. Loki’s smile widens, the expression playing with your heartbeat as he continues. “You are stronger and fiercer than any woman I’ve known.” He pauses and considers his words, and then takes your free hand. “I love you. My vow is ever the same. While you live, I want you. Be it through Ragnarok or rapture, by the bite of a blade or the soft touch of time. It matters not. It never has.”
You stare at him, overwhelmed with… feelings. You’ve never been good with them, but right now they’re culminating in a mantra that parades through your thoughts: I love you. I love you. I love you.
Loki squeezes your hand and then releases it, and you realize it’s your turn.
How am I supposed to follow that up, jackass?! you think to him.
He watches you, completely settling into smirk territory as you unsheathe the dagger you’ve made for him. You’re careful, ensuring your hand of light doesn’t touch it – if you accidentally destroy the weapon, you’re going to lose your mind, you just know it.
It took forever to craft the blade with your powers on the fritz. You had almost given up at least three times, although your determination won out in the end.
You’d tried to make it fancy, since you’re literally giving it to a prince – specifically a prince of one of the most stupid, fancy worlds you’ve ever been to. The black dagger has a curved, sharp tip, and its hilt holds the spirals you’ve seen on other Asgardian weapons. Wrapped across the guard and down towards the blade is a snake, the blade itself seemingly jutting from the snake’s jaws.
Okay, now you have to talk. You stare at Loki for a moment and then suck in a breath. “So, I, uh, don’t have a family sword, or whatever, and I know you don’t even use a sword. And I wanted to make you something you could use, so I made this dagger.”
You flip the dagger and hold it by the flat of the blade to show Loki the handle, which he appraises with a raised eyebrow.
Oh, right, there’s like a script to this ceremony stuff. “I present to you this dagger,” you state. “It is to be a symbol of our union.”
You offer him the handle again, and this time he takes it. Loki gives the dagger an experimental spin, and the familiar sight makes you grin. Now, what were you supposed to say, again? “I guess it’s… to show….” You can’t think of the words, and everything you’ve practiced before sounds dumb now.
You glance at the crowd, and then at Thor. The silence is stretching, and you can’t stand it anymore, so you just speak.
“I chose you,” you tell Loki, and the truth of it sets in after you say it. “Repeatedly.”
By deciding to live. By refusing Odin’s ultimatum, and staying in Asgard.
By agreeing to marry Loki, and then waiting for word after he vanished.
By sparing his life.
“And… well… I think we both fought hard to get here today,” you say.
Loki’s green eyes…. You never thought they’d mean so much to you. Especially when he’s looking at you like this.
“I chose to love you,” you tell him at last. “And I’m glad I did.”
- - -
The two of you had decided against rings. You can remember that conversation clearly.
And yet at the feast table, Loki hands you a golden ring strung through a silver chain. “To wear, if you want,” he explains nonchalantly. “I know you said your people have no outward signs of these ‘bonds’, so I thought it easier to tuck a ring out of sight around your neck rather than on your hand.”
“I don’t have a ring for you,” you tell him, frowning. “You weren’t supposed to –”
He pats the center of his chest, and your frown grows more pronounced. “But… isn’t each person supposed to get a ring for the other?”
“Indeed,” Loki agrees with a sly smile. “The lack of reciprocation has undoubtedly wounded me. What a slight, having to procure my own wedding band! Although,” he adds, dropping his voice and losing the dramatic sarcasm. “I’ve thought of some ways you could make it up to me.”
And he kisses you, slow and purposeful, until you clue into the cheers and whistles from the rest of the feast hall. “Oh, my God,” you tell him in a hushed whisper, pushing on his chest.
“Yes?” he asks, his eyes glinting mischievously.
You groan, fight back a smile, and grab your glass, truly glad that honeyed mead goes down smoothly.
- - -
Willow catches up to you after the dancing starts. Loki has broken away to speak with his mother, and you’re chatting with Sigrid and Asmund.
Will taps you on the shoulder and has to speak louder to be heard over the music. “I have to go soon!”
Sigrid and Asmund hear her, and bid you both farewell so the two of you can say goodbye without an audience.
“I’m glad you came,” you tell her, and you wrap her in final a hug. “I’ve missed you! And I’ll keep missing you.”
“I miss you, too, friend,” she says as she pulls away. “I’m happy for you.”
“I’ll write to you once we make it,” you tell her. “My power’s still all weird, but I think we should be good if I make some stops along the way.”
“Let me know if you need me,” Will says. “Seriously. I don’t like trooping through your portals, but I’ll come drag you both out of that dark place if I have to.”
“Thanks,” you tell her with a smile.
Will readjusts her bag strap, and then seems to realize something. “Oh!”
“Oh?” you ask as she digs around in her bag.
“Here!” she states, and promptly hands you a… bracelet?
You hold it up, a bit lost. It’s made of a bunch of beads on a black elastic band, and when you turn it over you realize there’s letters on some of the beads.
“It’s from Tony,” Will explains. “He said it’s a wedding gift? And that he ‘sends his congrats to the pair of penthouse destroyers’.”
You’re torn between laughter and guilt, which inevitably comes out as a snort. Before you can respond, you feel Loki’s hand on your arm, and he reads aloud, “Best friends?”
“It’s from Tony,” Will says again, her voice pitching upward in an almost-question this time.
“Healer, why are you giving us garbage on our wedding day?” Loki asks. He goes to grab the bracelet, but you pull it away.
“You’re just jealous you didn’t get anything,” you tell him, not for the first time.
“Oh, actually, he did send you something,” Willow tells Loki, and she extracts a piece of paper from her bag. “Here.”
“What is this?” Loki asks, frowning as he turns the paper over to read it.
“An itemized bill,” Willow says.
All right, guilt is winning out this time. “Did he charge me, too?” you ask, leaning closer.
“No,” Will says. “It’s addressed to,” she pauses as Loki crumples the “bill”, “Emerald City.”
You can’t help but laugh, Will chuckling along with you. Loki scoffs, not nearly as amused.
If it wasn’t your wedding day, you’d slip the ‘BEST FRIENDS’ bracelet around your wrist just to spite him.
But it is your wedding day, so you tuck it into your dress pocket.
“Write soon,” Will says. “Be careful. And at least try to stay out of trouble.”
“I promise we’ll do our best?” you tell her, which makes Loki roll his eyes.
Willow turns to go, but hesitates and looks back at you. With a sad smile, she says, “Tell them ‘hi’ for me, okay?”
When you nod, she returns the gesture and walks away.
- - -
Back at your table, food finished and glass empty, you prop your head on your hand and turn to Loki. “So, we’re married.”
“We are,” he agrees.
You consider it for a moment, and then ask, “Do you feel any different?”
Loki thinks it over, and you watch as his eyes flit across your face. After a moment, he says, “It pleases me.”
You laugh. The feast hall is slowly emptying, so the sound seems louder than it should.
“Do you?” he asks.
“I guess it pleases me, too.”
- - -
It is Thor’s orders that give him freedom, yet a part of Loki still resents it. At this point, this resentment is almost a reflex, and he figures he’ll never be rid of it. Not anytime soon, at least.
You, on the other hand, are eager; the weight of your travel pack is like an old friend, one you only now realize how dearly you’ve missed.
“Gather warriors,” Thor urges you at the end of the rainbow bridge. “Anyone you can trust. Any who wish to fight for their lives, for the lives of those they love, or for the good of all worlds.” When you nod, Thor looks to his brother. “If what you speak of Thanos is true –”
“– then we need assistance. From anywhere and everywhere.”
You nod again, and Thor briefly clasps his brother’s shoulder before watching you and Loki disappear into Heimdall’s golden observatory.
- - -
The Bifrost has never been kind to you, and this trip is no different.
Loki helps you to your feet once the colors stop swirling, and you lean on him as the two of you peer around the area. You’re in a forest, with towering trees and a canopy that almost completely obscures the sun.
Camping out for a few days is necessary for you to regain your strength. Reaching your planet is not an easy task, especially not with the Ordinat rebuilding. They’ll have surveillance set up on as many worlds as they can, so you can’t be flashy with a Bifrost entrance. Heimdall has sent the two of you as close to your world as is feasible, but the rest of the venture is on your shoulders.
Fully rested at last, with everything packed up, you stand beside your extinguished fire and look over at Loki.
“Are you ready?” you ask. “We have to make a few stops along the way. I don’t want to risk going such a large distance all at once.”
“Am I ready?” he asks slowly, pretending to think on the question.
You nudge him with your shoulder, and he rolls his eyes.
“I’m serious,” you insist. “My world is… dangerous. There’s powerful, scary things and people, and a lot of them will want to murder us on sight, so….”
“Powerful, hmm?” Loki asks, and you recognize the brief look of hunger on his face.
“Yeah,” you confirm. “There may be opportunities to acquire some interesting stuff, but I make no promises. Probably not cube or scepter powerful, but still.”
Your sentence is lost on Loki as a twinge of anxiety hits his chest. His ambitious expression fades as he searches your face. The realization that you’re nervous to return to your world, so much so that it’s bleeding into his own emotions, unsettles him more than your warnings of dangerous beings. Adversity does await, yes, but he’s ready.
“Are you?” he asks.
“Are you ready?”
You roll your shoulders and adjust your travel bag, then tug your glove further up your wrist. The sword Loki gave you is in its scabbard, belted to your hip. You can feel your golden ring on its chain, sitting against your chest.
You reach for Loki’s hand, and he takes it.
Everything’s as it should be.
Your nerves fade, which puts you both at ease. You stretch out your hand and tear a rift through reality.
“Yeah,” you tell him. “I am.”
As the two of you walk into the dark, a journey ends.
And another begins.
Thanks for going on this adventure with me!
This officially marks the end of the "Of Different Emotions" series. Can you believe that? Wowsa
If you have any questions, I'm happy to answer them! I'll be slowly replying to comments on this chapter and the last chapter, so be patient with me!
So much in my life has changed since the beginning of this series, and I'm honestly both sad and happy to see it end.
Thanks again to all of you who have supported me through this, whether you joined this wild journey from the beginning, middle, or end!
Love you guys
@littlemisssyreid @thedoctorlivesthroughbooks @imthinkingaboutthis @verryfuckingpunny @shadows-echoes @auria223 @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @agentpiku @bookscoffeeandracoons @lokibarncs
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Part 12 - Bullying and Threatening...
No one's POV....
After 20 minutes you heard that Loki became King, for Odin. So you better say he is the representation for King Odin. You took the time and ran, after these news, to Heimdall. You needed answers, to know a little more of Loki. He said he got bullied, but not that he wasn't loved at all. You need to have informations about that. You teleported to Heimdall, he already waited for you.
"Luciella, it's nice to see you. I see, you want me to tell you more about Loki's past. Correct ?"
"Like always...you got me, my old friend. He hides some Details from me and I don't think he would tell me."
"You are correct. What do you wish to know ?"
"Everything in the house of Odin. What happened after I was gone, to Loki and the others relations to them ?"
"Well... Prince Loki didn't quite believe Odin that you were dead, for 50 years. He always was hot on his Father's tail, but never found you or any hint, that you are still alive. He went more to a blank page. He caused more Mischief, than before, and some times it went really too far. Thor was worthy of the hammer Mjolnir, while Loki became a Master in Magic. Thor separated from his Brother, because he was ashamed, that he wasn't powerful and worthy of Mjolnir. Loki got left behind in the dark. He always tried to beat Thor in duals, tuniers and battles, he always failed. He tried to impress King Odin, to make him proud, but Odin was never showing that he was proud. Loki thinks Odin hates him, but actually, Odin loves him. He just doesn't show that much. The only one who is always there for Prince Loki is Queen Frigga. The friends, Thor had made, made fun of Loki and Thor didn't even do anything. He let them and now Loki is...like this.", Heimdall told you.
You were shocked. How could Thor ? He always promised you to watch over Loki and care for him ! What an ass...
"Oh and Loki always ended up into arguments with Odin and Thor. He then always ran somewhere for the rest of the whole day.", he added.
"Wow...What assholes...Sorry for my bad language, but...HOW THE, FUCKING, BLOODY, SHITTY HELL, COULD THEY ?!"
Heimdall flinched at your sudden outburst.
"Sorry Heimdall...", you said, calmer.
"It's okay. Well...Odin tried to find you for 30 years... As he realized that Prince Loki drifted more and more to the isolation and the murders didn't stop... But he never found you, and with time... he gave up on ever finding you. Banishing you, without your side of the story, was wrong and Odin realized that with time. After 5 years of your banishment, he went looking for you, even in Jotunheim, but you weren't there. So, where were you ?"
"I... Well.... I was on a spaceship... imprisoned.... in chains... For 2 years and then trained."
"What is a 'Spaceship' ?"
"Oh... Umm.. Well... These are like boats, just... They dont just have a bottom, they also have, like houses, Rooms, windows and a roof. It got so built, that you can't even open the windows. The windows are just for looking out into space and the ship flies there, never falling down. No air from space comes inside. And if you land on one of the planets, realms, whatever... some kind of door opens and you can go outside and inside the spaceship..."
"Ah... I get it. These big things, which look almost like an meteor..."
"Yes ! Right like these !"
Heimdall chuckled. Then he suddenly stopped and went to serious again.
"I am sorry, that you got imprisoned and we didn't save you, I tried to find you, but I didn't saw you anywhere... I was blind and couldn't help... I am sorry..."
"It's okay... I knew that you could never find me... the ship had some kind of spell, I couldn't even contact you... The spell blocked that ability..."
"I feel bad, that we let that happen..."
"You don't need to. I thank you for these informations. I also thank you for banishing me actually...Because I learned very much new things, Loki never can learn here. I heard stories in Jotunheim from Laufey, I never thought were true, or even so... heartbreaking. I never saw a Frost Giant cry... Laufey did. I know history, you all would never believe me. And for these things... I thank you.", you said smiling a little.
Heimdall smiled back. I hugged him.
"Sometimes... bad decisions need to be done, to see the truth. Even the wrong things, can some times be a step in the right direction. Never forget that, Heimdall, you hear ?", you said.
"I heard. And I will remember it forever...", he answered.
You pulled away, said goodbye and teleported away. You were in the throne room and saw Loki sitting on the throne, he looked perfect there. He didn't see you, you stepped closer until he saw you, you bowed to him.
"My new King Loki..."
"Luciella...stand up. You don' need to bow to me, you are my friend. No matter what.", Loki told you.
You got up and saw him standing before the throne. You smiled and he smiled back. He went down the stairs and you went to his direction too. After you were just almost 5 steps apart, you ran to him and hugged him. He hugged back.
"We need to talk tonight, Mischief - boy. In your Chambers. I will wait for you.", you whispered in his ear.
You both pulled away. He looked at you with confusion all over his face.
"What ?", you asked him.
"Mischief - boy ? It's a long time ago, that you called me like that. I missed it. About what do you want to talk with me tonight ?", he asked you.
"You will see, Loki. Just... come tonight in your Chambers and we talk."
Before he said something else, you shushed him.
"Go to your throne and make an dramatic appearence. I believe, the warriors three and Lady Sif are on their way."
Loki smiled at you, nodded and went back to his throne. He sat down and patted on his right of the throne side, for you to stand next to him. You did. Then you heard footsteps. They came inside. They all looked down on the ground, Sif was the first one to step inside and speak.
"My King, we must speak with you urgently."
As they all looked up they didn't saw Odin, no, they saw Loki.
"My...friends.", Loki said.
"Where's Odin ?", Fandral asked Loki.
They all stepped closer in a hurry.
"Father has fallen into the Odinsleep. Mother fears he may never awaken again.", he answered.
"We would speak with her.", Sif said.
"She has refused to leave my Father's bedside. You can bring your urgent matter to me.", he said and stood up, clinging the staff on the ground.
"Your King.", he said.
They looked at him shocked, but bowed to him.
"My king, we would ask that you end Thor's banishment.", Sif said.
Loki looked at them in disbelief. Then at me, then back at them.
'Wow... how can they be so stupid ?' - Loki
'Are they dumb ?!' - You
'I know right ?' - Loki
He smiled a little in humor. He went serious again.
"My first command can not be to undo the Allfather's last.", he said, while walking down the stairs.
"We're on the brink of war with Jotunheim. Our people need a sense of community, and feel safe in these difficult times. All of us must stand together.", he continued.
Sif was frowning at him and his speech, Loki was down the stairs and clinged the staff down again.
"For the good of Asgard.", Loki said at last.
Sif couldn't hold it anymore. She stood up and wanted to punch his face. Fandral and Hogun held her back.
"Yes, of course.", Fandral said.
"Good, then you await for my word.", Loki said.
"If I may...", Volstagg said, "beg indulgence of...your Majesty, to perhaps reconsider-", Volstagg almost laughed at him, he got interrupted.
"We are done here.", Loki said.
You stepped down the stairs and said...
"No we aren't, my King. I have a few words on them to share with them, infront of you, can I please ?"
Loki looked at you, confused, but nodded.
"Of course, start.", he said, you grinned at him.
"Thank you, my King. Alright... Lady Sif... I may be in your team, so is Loki, so I would respect his desicions. He isn't a girl and just a warrior. And if you don't control yourself, then I guess I will beat the shit out of you, next time. I like you actually, I really do. But Loki is right. We can't just call Thor back from his banishment. He, like I said before, started this Freakshow. He wanted to start a war between Jotunheim and Asgard and he made it, dragged you with him into Jotunheim, risked your lives, almost killed you with this act, offended King Laufey and me, made me go against Laufey, betrayed his King and insulted Odin in an argument. I don't understand why you still want to help him. And the next time I would be more nice to King Loki. Now I come to you, Fandral... I actually don't have much to say against you, because you actually respect Loki's answer. But that doesn't save you from what I have to say now. When did you thank Loki, for saving your sorry butt ? He killed the Frost Giant, which actually almost stabbed you again and also you made fun of him and I bet this wasn't the only time he saved your ass. Every bet you made fun of him, just like the others here. For that, I actually should beat your sorry ass, right here, right now. Be glad I don't. Volstagg, you are the worst."
"Why am I the worst here ?", he asked.
"Look at you. Tell me, you dare to make sick, ugly, dumb, lousey puns about Loki, when something doesn't work like it should ? Actually Loki should make fun of you. You are fat like Obelix in a story. You definitely eat like an animal and don't do much. Tell me, guys, how much does he eat per day ?", you asked.
"Maybe 10 plates full of food per day... Always different things on it...", Fandral said.
"Wow... You should be ashamed of yourself... A person, which is obsessed with food. How disgusting. Sorry, but I firstly thought you had some kind of malfunction in your body. I firstly thought we could all be friends, you know... but when I remember what I heard of you, against Loki... I would be ashamed to be your friend... That doesn't mean, that I hate you, but I don't really like you either, for now... I will help you guys still, but not much. And the last Hogun. You don't look like someone who actually does something wrong. I don't have anything to say to you. ....For now.", you finished.
You nodded to Loki, who stared at you, that you have the guts to say that. He got the message and said...
"You can go now. Everything what needed to be said got said and hopefully heard."
They all left and you teleported away, before Loki could talk to you. That was something you would have never done. Why are you so protective over him ?
Chapter 32: Rescued
Warnings: violence, torture and abuse, mentions of mental illness
A/N: If you wanna be tagged in this, just send me an ask or a message. Feedback is always appreciated, don’t be shy to share your thoughts on this :)
'Cause, I built a home
Until it disappeared
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
Alice didn’t know how much time had passed since she was captured by Hydra, but she knew it must had been months. Being tortured was something that happened daily to her. Sometimes, the men didn’t even ask her about Bucky’s whereabouts, they would just torture her relentlessly for hours and hours. She knew they loved to see in her pain, to see her scream in agony and call for Bucky. On the bright side, thanks to those months filled with torture, she had learned to dissociate from the pain she knew they were gonna inflict on her. As soon as the men brought her to what they called ‘the playroom’, she would completely shut down her body.
“What’s wrong with her?” One of the asked, “Is she sleeping with her eyes open or something?” He took a step closer to her and put two fingers on her neck, “She’s breathing, so she’s alive.”
“Forget about it, let’s just begin.” The other said while picking up a knife from the table.
As the two men tortured her, no reaction or whatsoever came from her, not even a scream, not even a wince. Nothing.
“What the fuck is happening?” He said in shock while looking at her blank expression, “It’s like she doesn’t feel anything. Do you think it has something to do with her powers?”
“Maybe,” the other answered, “but let’s keep going. She’ll break one way or another.”
Meanwhile, Alice was in a trance in her mind, as if she were dreaming.
“Honey, I’m home!” She heard a man yell from another room. Looking around her, she noticed she was in a big kitchen, making dinner. But what shocked her the most was the huge bump on her belly – she was pregnant. “Where are you, Alice?”
“In the kitchen, babe!” It was as if she didn’t have control of what she was saying, it was just coming out of her mouth. “Dinner is almost ready!”
Suddenly, she felt a pair of hands sneak around her waist and a pair of lips on her neck.
“I have missed you, my love” the man said as he kissed her neck.
When she tried to turn around to see who the man was, she was no longer in the big kitchen. It was all back to normal.
She woke up with a terrible pain on her shoulder. Looking at it, she noticed a huge cut on it.
“See, I told you she was gonna break” the man said with a mocking tone, “Everyone eventually breaks, even her. Isn’t that right, pretty face?” He brought his hand up to her cheek and tried to caress it, but she quickly dismissed his touch. “Even with your face filled with blood and bruises, you still look beautiful, little soldier.”
“Don’t. Touch. Me.” She spat.
Gunshots and explosions started being heard from the outside. The two men looked at each other, confused with what was happening.
“Report to your stations immediately.” A voice spoke through the speakers, “This is not a drill. We are under attack! We are under attack!”
“You go,” the man who was torturing Alice said, “I still have unfinished business with our little soldier here.” The other man nodded and left the room. “Now, where were we?”
Alice’s expression was blank once again. She was dissociating from the pain.
Alice turned around and saw Loki staring at her with a huge smile on his face. Instinctively, she put her hands on his cheeks and kissed him.
“How was our little one today?” he pointed at her belly and then rubbed it through her t-shirt.
She put her hand on top of his, “He was good. Kicked me sometimes, the usual.”
Suddenly, she was no longer in the kitchen with Loki, but sitting on a park, watching the kids on the playground. Her eyes were set on a child who was between four and five years old, with black hair and piercing green eyes. He looked like a mix of her and Loki.
“Mommy, mommy!” the kid ran to her arms, “Uncle Steve is here! Look!”
“Where is my favourite kid in the whole world?” Steve said with open arms as he picked up her child. “You are almost as tall as me, Halden!”
Halden giggled and went back to the playground to play with his friends. Steve sat next to Alice and kissed her temple.
“Hey.” She smiled at him.
“Hi. How are you?”
“I’m fine. A little bit tired, but it comes with the job. How is Loki doing?”
“He’s good too,” she replied while she looked at child, “he’s great with Hal, really. It’s like he’s a whole different person with him, the best father and husband in the whole world.”
“I’m happy for you, Alice, I really am.”
“Thanks Steve. Actually, I have some news to tell you.” She turned her body to him and grabbed his hands, “I’m pregnant again!”
“Oh my gosh, really Alice?” he immediately hugged her, “I’m so happy, Alice. Congratulations, to you and to Loki. You two are amazing parents.”
“We already decided on what’s her name is going to be, actually. Loki chose it – Frigga. Honouring his mother.”
“That’s a beautiful name.” Steve smiled at her before his expression totally changed and he started screaming at her. “Alice! Alice! Alice! Wake up! Alice!”
“What’s happening? Steve?” She looked confused at him. “Loki! Halden! Where are you? Loki help me! Loki!”
As the Avengers raided another Hydra base, Steve came across a heavily secured door. He kicked it and found two people inside – Alice and a Hydra agent holding a knife against her stomach. Steve quickly knocked the guy down and released Alice from the restraints. She was only wearing a pair of black shorts and a black sports bra. Her body was filled with scars, blood, and bruises. He looked at her left arm, which had a huge scar on it, spelling Forsaken.
“Guys?” Steve talked to his intercoms, “Alice is here!”
“What?” Nat asked.
“I found her in one of the rooms here,” he grabbed her by the legs and torso and picked her up, “She’s out and in a pretty bad shape. We’re gonna need medics and someone to take her to the Quinjet.”
“Wait a sec, I’ll take her” Stark answered.
“Loki…” Alice murmured, “Loki…”
“Ali?” Steve looked at her, but her eyes were still closed. “Don’t worry, I got you Alice. We’re gonna take care of you.”
Alice woke up in a stretcher, next to Clint. Both had IVs stuck on their arms. Her body was covered in bandages.
“Where am I?” she asked, which made Clint look at her.
“She’s awake!” He yelled and everyone in the Quinjet surrounded her – Nat, Steve, Bruce, Thor and Tony.
“There’s our fighter” Nat said with a smile on her face.
“What happened?” Alice questioned, still confused about her whereabouts.
“We were raiding Hydra bases to find Loki’s scepter” Tony answered her, “and that’s when Cap found you.”
“Loki…” she murmured.
Thor looked at her with a pained look on his face and that’s when she remembered that he still thought Loki was dead.
“We thought you had run away with---” Steve stopped talking. No one knew that Alice was with Bucky the whole time she disappeared, and it was better to keep it that way. “We thought you were on the run.”
“I was, but Hydra caught me in Italy. Hum, was anyone else at the base?”
“There were two enhanced, a man and a woman, but they managed to escape” Steve explained, “We also got a few Hydra agents, Strucker and a Doctor Semenov.”
Alice’s fists tightened as soon as she heard that name, “He was the one who caught me, both when I was fifteen and in Italy. Him and his men tortured me for months.”
“Don’t worry Alice, you are safe now” Thor gently patted her right ankle. “We were talking about honouring our victory with revels, you should come Alice.”
“She’s hurt pretty bad. I don’t know if that’s a good idea” Steve added.
“No, no, I’m fine, really.” Alice got up from the stretcher and sat up, “See, I’m fine. I’ve been through a lot worse. Nothing a good night of sleep and some pain killers won’t fix. Besides, I heard Helen Cho was coming, right? She can fix me with that machine of hers and I’ll be good as new.”
“Alice…” Steve trailed off, worried not only about her physical, but mental health as well.
“Steve, I’m fine.” She said as she put her hand on his shoulder, “I miss parties.”
“You mean you miss drinking” Nat teased her.
“Yeah, that too.”
“Maybe a party is not the best idea for you right now, Alice” Steve spoke as he stared at his friend, afraid that she was carrying a lot of weight on her shoulders at that moment, “You have been tortured relentlessly for months. Your mind and your body need to rest, Alice.”
“Steve,” she tried to remain calm, but she was tired of being babied around, “I’m fine, I already told you that a million times. My body will heal in just a couple of days and my brain is completely okay. I’m tougher than I look.”
“You already look tough” Bruce murmured.
“See?” Alice pointed at the doctor, “Even Bruce thinks I’m fine.”
“Hum, I never said that” he refuted her statement.
“I’m fine and no one needs to worry, okay?” Alice raised her voice a bit, which made the whole team feel strange.
No one spoke for the rest of the trip since Alice yelled at them. Everyone knew she was not fine, but they couldn’t make her get help, even though she needed it. Alice would never tell anyone about her horrific nightmares, filled with gore and death she had caused in her past. She would never tell anyone that she occasionally had panic attacks. She would never tell that to anyone, not even to Bucky, Steve, or Natasha, her closest friends, the ones she considered her family. They had too much on their plates already and she didn’t want to waste their time on some “stupid and meaningless nightmares”, as she described them.
tags: @selfsun @asimovethroughthisworld
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Headcanons of Loki crying in front of the reader? 🥺💖
It really depends on what you define as crying? If you mean that he has tears in his eyes that don’t spill from whenever he gets passionately emotional about something while keeping up a front, or actually just...crying. It’s understandable that Loki gets angry tears when feelings build up over time, so I don’t think those would really count for him crying in front of people. He does it when he’s in battle and the adrenaline gets pumping; when he’s arguing with Thor or dealing with people thinking he’s the worst creature alive (which he believes), or when he’s not able to communicate well with others - but that’s not him crying.
Loki crying is when he’s trembling. He can’t form sentences or keep himself standing when he cries. Overwhelmed with negative energy and boiling tears spill down his face and nose running and throat burning just takes over and he has no control. That’s something Loki doesn’t want anyone he doesn’t feel close to see. He rarely shows that side to Thor (he would not show it to Frigga or Odin in the past), so he’s rather quick to go MIA as soon as he feels like he needs to have a breakdown that can last for a good hour or so.
But it would slowly change when you cry in front of him. Whether they’re sad or happy tears, Loki starts seeing tears being perceived differently when it comes to you. Of course, majority of people still assume men/masculinity to be immune to crying over anything, but you show him that there’s no shame in doing so, regardless of who they are. When he finds you comforting a male coworker who was having a hard time, offering him a tissue and telling him that he doesn’t need to apologize or defend himself for his tears, just let it all out, it hits Loki.
When Loki starts to open up with his emotions to you, he tells you how he feels about crying around others. You listen and tell him that there’s nothing to be ashamed about, and how keeping everything in can be dangerous. You tell him you don’t want Loki to feel that way anymore, and he’s allowed, when he’s comfortable, to come to you to cry it out. It takes a few times - some where he will run away and lock himself from you - but he eventually feels how different it is to cry when you just need to. He doesn’t tremble anymore, the tears don’t burn as badly and he actually feels better after crying than just feeling exhausted; not to mention that it helps when you pull him into a hug and hold him, gently telling him that he’ll be okay.
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TITLE: Loki’s Daughter
CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 12: The King of Books
Previous Chapter: Chap 11
ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Avengers: Endgame AU Loki that gets away with tesseract has been using it to explore the universe. During his adventures, he comes across a little girl with developing but oppressed magical abilities. Intrigued (and subconsciously lonely) Loki keeps her around.
RATING: Fic is M; this chap is G
AO3 Link: Here
NOTES/WARNINGS: Fluff and stuff
Chapter 12: The King of Books
Kuna and Loki returned to the lush, green planet they had left. Loki liked how quiet it was. It would be a good place for them to lie low for a short time while he studied the books on curses they had taken and figure out the best course of action for Kuna. Frigga had given him plenty of advice and forewarning about what to expect when lifting her curse.
“You will likely have to confront the sorcerer who placed this curse on her,” she had said. They stood in the dense forest of Asgard while Kuna covered her ears. Loki did not want her hearing anything about the curse in case it would cause her further pain. “If he is alive, that is. If not, things may be even more complicated.”
“How do you mean?” Loki had asked her.
“If he’s not, you’ll have to attempt to lift the curse yourself. The books you’ve taken may help you more in that regard. All I know is that it is incredibly dangerous for everyone involved.” She looked down at Kuna with concern. “Curses like these can become their own sentient entities. Parasites that can protect and defend themselves, often with devastating consequences to the host.”
“Yes, I think I’ve already experienced this,” Loki replied, thinking back to how Kuna had kicked him out of her mind when he had tried to see her past. “I believe it has already begun to protect itself from being destroyed. I fear for Kuna’s safety, if I try this.”
“It can be done, Loki, but coercing the casting sorcerer is likely the safest route to lifting it.”
“Hmm. That might be difficult. He’s protected himself by not allowing Kuna to speak about the curse or her magic at all. Even if we do return to her home system, finding him would be like finding a needle in a haystack.”
“Well, you always did love a challenge, darling,” she said, affectionately.
They had bid farewell to Frigga in the forest and returned to the portal they had entered from. Loki did not dare use the tesseract on Asgard. The Allfather would surely have Asgard’s scholars looking for its energy signatures. The portal led out onto Alfheim where Loki could easily teleport them away to the safety of the green planet the tesseract had chosen for them.
They reappeared this time near a copse of trees in a deep valley. They seemed to be far from wherever they had camped last. The mountains were still visible but far in the distance and trees now dominated the landscape. Loki preferred the cover of the trees to the openness of the mountaintop. It felt more secure. They decided to make camp there. He set up the tent while Kuna explored the nearby trees.
“Don’t go too far,” Loki said. “I still find it strange that we’re the only living beings here.”
Kuna walked around the trees, feeling their bark with her hand. She could smell flowers and other earthy aromas that calmed her. She liked being outside, away from the nasty smelling city. She picked a suitable tree and climbed up it with ease. Loki was impressed.
He watched her hop from branch to branch with ease. She ran through the limbs of the trees, barely moving them as she went. Then, she crouched low and leapt from one tree to another and continued on bouncing through the branches like a little squirrel.
Loki smiled. It was nice to see her exploring and playing. He finished setting up their tent and began producing stacks of books, the books they’d stolen, for him to research. He picked a comfy looking tree and sat down, leaning back against it. A breeze whistled softly through the leaves above him and the grass at his feet. He had to admit that the tesseract had picked a nice planet for them to come to, though he still did not understand how.
He pushed the thought from his mind and set to reading his book Curses and Their Counters. It proved to be a long-winded, dense discussion on the morality of curses and why such magic should be banned from the modern grimoire. He rolled his eyes and set the book aside, picking up another.
Kuna spied on him from above, watching as he read speedily through each book and firmly set each aside. He shifted uncomfortably against the and rubbed his back. Grumbling to himself, he tossed another book away and picked up yet another. The stacks around him were growing ever higher.
Kuna quietly climbed down from her perch and snuck up behind him. Their satchel lay on the ground by the roots of the tree. Carefully, she put her hand into the bag, searching. Pushing aside her toys and various other items, her fingers landed on its decorated handle of the dagger Loki had purchased on Tenanci’i.
“What are you doing?” Loki asked, not looking up from his book.
“It’s a surprise?” Kuna said, wondering how he knew she was there.
“A surprise that requires a dagger normally ends up with someone dying,” he said, turning a page calmly. “Are you going to stab me?”
“All right. Just don’t chop your fingers off.”
“I won’t!” She grabbed the dagger and ran off towards the trees.
“Walk!” Loki said. Kuna slowed, walking excitedly.
She approached a tree with long, hanging vines. She took hold of one and pulled, hoping it would come down on its own. But it held tight to its roost high in the tree. The tree itself looked wilted. Some of its leaves were still brown and the vines were starting to stifle the tree’s trunk and branches.
She climbed up to its tallest branches and began cutting down the long vines. When she had a nice pile at the base of the tree, she carefully climbed down and gathered them up. She wound them up in tight spools and looped them over her arms. Trouncing through the tall grass, she was careful to pass behind Loki so he wouldn’t see her surprise. She made her way back to the tree she had climbed before, tossing her vines on the ground, along with the dagger.
Plopping down on the grass, she began her work, unspooling the vines and laying them out in a grid around her. She stood and began to weave the vines in and around each other, over and under. Now and then, tying off an end and beginning with a new vine. When she was happy with her work, she hoisted it between two trees. She stood back, examining her creation. Nodding with satisfaction, she ran to Loki.
She stopped short, realizing Loki was deep in thought as he read. She was afraid to interrupt but excitement was boiling over her. “Loki?” she said, softly.
He looked up from his book at her. “Mmm? Please, don’t tell me you chopped off your fingers.”
“I didn’t,” she said, showing him all her fingers.
“Good,” he said. “What is it?”
“I made something for you.”
Startled, Loki looked back up. “You made something… for me?”
“Mmm-hmm.” She looked down at her feet, putting her hands behind her back.
He squinted at her and then smiled wickedly. “Young lady, if you stab me with that dagger…”
“It’s not the dagger!” she cried, laughing as he did. “Come and look!” She ran behind him and pushed on his back to make him stand. He purposely leaned back against her, smiling. “You’re so heavy!”
“Oh, all right,” he said, standing up quickly. Kuna fell forward on her face but jumped right back up again, grabbing Loki’s hand.
“This way! Close your eyes!”
“I don’t know if I like that.”
“It’s more of a surprise that way! Please!” she begged, looking up at him with big eyes. She pulled on his hand, making him lean over and whispered, “I promise I won’t stab you.”
“Oh, well when you put it that way.” He closed his eyes and let her lead the way.
She positioned him in front of the tree, making sure he was in just the right place to see her creation.
“Okay, okay. Open!”
Loki opened his eyes. Hanging between two trees was a beautifully crafted hammock. His lips parted in surprise at Kuna’s skill.
“It’s for you!” she said.
“For me?” he looked down at her. She nodded, smiling.
“So that you’re comfortable while you read.”
Loki didn’t know what to say. “It’s beautiful, Kuna. Where did you learn this?”
“All the slaves on Torileena know how make them. The Masters like to sleep in them to stay off the dirty ground. We put them way high up in the trees, away from all the scary monsters.”
“Where did you sleep?”
“On the ground,” she said. She took his hand again. “Come on! Try it!”
Loki climbed unsteadily into the hammock. It was the perfect size for him. He thought the vines would be rough on his skin but instead they were soft and supple. He looked down at Kuna.
“I love it but it’s missing something,” he said. Kuna frowned, looking around. Loki picked her up and set her down beside him in the hammock. “Ah. That’s better. Now it’s perfect.” She giggled and hugged him. “This is lovely, Kuna. Thank you.”
She cuddled next to him. He took out his book and began reading again. Kuna watched. She wondered what all the sticks on the page said.
“Does this book have pictures like the mushroom book?” she asked.
“No, I don’t think this one will have any pictures. If it does, they won’t be fun pictures,” Loki replied.
“But I did manage to swipe a few storybooks from Odin’s study – I’m sure he won’t miss those either – they have lots of nice pictures in them.”
Kuna smiled for a moment, but it faded.
“Kuna, what’s wrong?”
“W-will you teach me how to read?” she asked, her voice barely audible.
“Of course, I will. We’ll learn with the storybooks just like I did.”
“Yes, I promise.”
Kuna’s smile returned. She laid her head against Loki’s shoulder. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until now. She slowly drifted off to sleep as the hammock swayed.
Loki tried to focus on his book but he too was quite tired. They were safe here and the hammock was far comfier than having to squish through the hivetent’s door, so he allowed himself to drift off as well. The matter of Kuna’s curse was not going to be solved in a day. He would need time to study and plan in order to ensure the curse was lifted properly.
For the first time in a while, he felt content with where he was. Kuna lay beside him peacefully. They were safe. He wasn’t rotting in some prison. He had an ally in his mother. He had half expected her to hand him over to the guards. He was sure Odin had brainwashed her with falsified stories of his exploits on Midgard. Heimdall could no longer see Loki at all so his visions only came from his sightings of Thor. Of course, he had the rest of Asgard to watch over; he could hardly watch the prince all the time.
Loki had been surprised by Odin’s rebuke of his eldest, most beloved son. It seemed he was content with leaving Thor stranded on Midgard to stew in his ‘failure’. Loki chuckled to himself. He could never think of a time when Odin had thought Thor had failed. Save, perhaps, for his most recent blunder with the Jotuns that had him exiled to Midgard the first time. This seemed far more serious. And it made Loki feel wickedly pleased with himself.
He hates you too, you know, the voice in his head echoed.
“Please. As if I care,” Loki spat in thought.
Oh, but I think you do.
“Why would I care what he thinks? He’s a…”
“He’s a murderer and a thief!” Laufey’s voice rang out in Loki’s mind, jarring his memory back to Jotunheim. He shook his head. He didn’t like to think about that dreadful place or the time he and Thor had gone there together; when he had learned what he truly was.
You’re a murderer and a thief too. Just like Odin.
“I am not just like Odin.”
But that’s all you’ve ever wanted to be, the voice was cool. Loki could feel the treacherous sting behind his words. Just like father.
“He’s not my father!” Loki shut the book in disgust with himself.
“What does it matter now anyway? He hates me.”
Loki’s eyes opened. He looked down at Kuna’s brown hair. His jaw tightened.
Sentiment. For a child. Is this love?
Loki squeezed his eyes shut but was confronted by a sudden flash of memory. Sitting in the glass box on the helicarrier.
“Is this love, Agent Romanov?” he scoffed.
Agent Romanov’s voice echoed in his head, “Love is for children…”
Loki shook his head, rattling the memory away but her voice echoed.
Loki’s eyes opened, settling on Kuna. His breath was ragged and heavy.
Sentiment, the word echoed through his mind so loud it seemed to rattle his in his skull.
A darkness settled over his vision, clouding everything. He tried hard to push the rage he was feeling down deeper. Imagining a bottomless chasm, he gathered all of his emotions and painful memories together and tossed them into the abyss. He seethed. He only felt angrier and more resentful.
“Loki?” Kuna’s voice broke him out of it.
He looked down at her. His eyes must have been fierce because she flinched.
“Are you okay?” she whispered.
“Hmm? Yes. I was just thinking,” Loki responded.
“Who were you talking to?
“Hmm? Oh, no one.”
Kuna sat quietly for a moment. She did not like the way Loki had looked just then. The way he had been staring through her made her feel nervous. “I’m cold,” she whispered.
“Are you? Let’s go inside. It’s getting dark.”
He got up out of the hammock and picked her up, taking the book with him as well. They went inside the hivetent and he set her down on the floor. She took out their bedrolls and spread them out for them both. She quietly removed her toys from the satchel and climbed into her bedroll, bundling up in it.
Loki paced with the book open, trying to distract himself. Kuna watched him walk back and forth, back and forth. Her stomach made an angry growling noise. Suddenly, he stopped and turned to her. She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Loki raised a brow, unconvinced.
“Kuna? Oh dear, you’ve gone to sleep,” he said in mock disappointment. “I was just about to ask if you were hungry. I suppose not.”
Her eyes flew open, and she sat up quick. “I am hungry!” she said. “Please!”
“I thought so,” Loki smiled and conjured some food for her. She munched happily while he went back to reading. “I can’t believe I forgot to give you dinner. If I do that again, just tell me. Sometimes I forget to eat,” he said.
Kuna couldn’t imagine herself forgetting to eat. She liked food too much. She took another big bite of dried meat. She would just have to make sure he did not forget to eat.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” she asked, her mouth half full.
“I’m not very hungry right now,” he said, not looking up from his book. “Perhaps later.”
He smirked at his book. “I won’t.”
Kuna finished her meal and cuddled with her toys. She let out a big yawn, stretching her arms. Loki yawned as well. Kuna crawled over to him. He was intently reading a large brown book. She watched his eyes flit over the page. His finger traced a line down each side of the book as he read, before turning to the next page.
She looked at the big pile of books beside him. She started to reach for a big book with a pretty golden binding, but sharply pulled her hand away, jerking her head to the side as if she were hit. Loki noticed the sharp movement and felt a pang of sorrow for her.
“It’s all right, Kuna,” he said. His voice made her jump. “You can look at that one.”
She turned and looked at him. “Really?”
She gingerly picked it up, opening its pages to find beautifully painted pictures. She gasped, staring at the bright colors and moving textures. Each picture gently flowed and undulated, giving movement to each scene. Characters bowed and danced on one page. Kuna quickly turned to the next and found the scene had changed to show a forest, the trees blowing in an imaginary wind.
“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” Loki asked.
“Slaves were never allowed to touch books. Some Masters, like Master Machaluci, put magical spells on his books that blinded slaves that opened them and tried to read them.”
“That’s horrific, Kuna.” He took the corner of the book and pointed at the page. “These were stories that my mother read to me when I was a boy. These books have no magical spells on them. Besides the ones that make the pictures move, that is. You won’t go blind, I promise.”
Kuna looked back at the book. Loki turned the pages for her, showing her another image of a warrior fighting a giant blue monster with red eyes.
Loki huffed. “There are a few good ones in here, although, it’s been a long time since I’ve read any of these fairytales.”
“Will you read some to me?” Kuna asked.
Loki smirked at her. “Sure.”
She settled in close to him. He read her stories of warriors and great battles, kings and queens, monsters and magic, and even of dragons. Those were her favorite. She stared at the beautiful pages as Loki read aloud, changing voices with the characters, and acting out their movements with his hands. Kuna had never heard such lovely and enchanting stories. They sent her mind on adventures through vast imaginary landscapes, fighting trolls and bandits, rescuing villages and saving kingdoms.
Loki wasn’t sure when she had fallen asleep, but he looked down at her, showing her one of the images on the page, and her head gently fell against his arm, her eyes closed, a soft smile on her lips. He smiled, slowly closing the book. Gently, he picked her up and carried her to her bedroll, tucking her in with her toys.
Returning to his books, Loki quickly lost track of time. The books on curses were dense and often difficult to understand. Their archaic, long-winded musings on the morality of curses or the history of their terrible deeds were of no use to him. He needed to know how to lift them. And to know that, he needed to know how to cast them. He tossed one book aside and picked up another, furiously thumbing through its pages, skimming the text for anything that would help him.
He grumbled to himself as he finished another book and tossed it onto the pile. He ran his fingers through his hair. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he looked over at Kuna asleep on the floor. He groaned and put his head in his hands. They had practically ransacked Odin’s library for books on curses; there had to be something that they had stolen that was of use. That fat, old man did not keep these books locked away because they were strict, moral teachings. He knew how to use dark magic and kept it to himself.
He picked up another book and began reading. There were many spellbooks among his new collection, containing spells he had never seen before. Spells that doused the victim in an acid-like substance that burned their skin and spells that caused bad luck. While these spells seemed deliciously wicked to him, they were far from the curses he was searching for. He set these books aside for further study.
Loki continued reading until the morning light began to shine against the opaque walls of the tent. He hardly noticed; his nose buried into a book about a sorcerer who had been banished out of time for use of curses with the use of one of the infinity stones. He was surprised to see mention of the stones, but ancient Asgardians had been rather fascinated by them.
“Loki?” Kuna’s asked.
“Have you been up all night?”
“Mmm-yes,” Loki mumbled.
“Aren’t you tired?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” He glanced up. “Oh, if you’re hungry,” -he conjured a pile of their supplies on the floor- “take whatever you like.”
“Thank you, Loki,” Kuna said, graciously. She picked up some fruit and bread. “Can I go outside?”
“Yes, sure. Just don’t go far.”
“Okay.” Kuna walked outside, turning back to look at Loki before walking out the door.
Book after book Loki read through and still he could find nothing of real value beyond anecdotal evidence of curses or didactic discourses on curses. He finally decided to take a break and stood, popping his back and walking outside to find Kuna.
The sun was hanging low in the sky now.
“Shit! Is it that late already!” Loki looked around for Kuna but could not see her. “Kuna?”
There was no answer. He called again but all he could hear was the wind through the leaves. He looked around at the trees, searching the branches for her. When he did not see her, he set off into the forest to find her. With a wave of his hand, he cast a spell on the ground to illuminate her footprints.
Tiny footprints glowed green on the ground in a twisting and turning about all around the tent and their little camp. Loki could see the prints exiting the tent were dimming while a trail of prints that led into the woods shown brighter than the ones around him.
“I told you not to go far,” he grumbled as he followed after them. “Now you’ve probably been eaten by some monster. I knew this planet couldn’t be lifeless. What was I thinking?”
He stomped through the brush, following Kuna’s tracks. She had wondered here and there, stopping occasionally to admire a flower or rock. Then the prints went up a tree.
“Great,” Loki huffed, finding himself increasingly annoyed by his new ward. He looked around to see where she may have come down again and picked up the trail on another tree she had leapt to. He followed them as she jumped from tree to tree, but they were becoming harder and hard to see.
He stopped and called for her again to no answer. The forest was still save for the occasional falling leaf. The lack of birdsong or crunch of undergrowth from small animals felt eerie to Loki. He looked around and realized he’d lost Kuna’s trail completely. He studied the trees but could no longer find the green glowing footprints. He was not amused. “Kuna? Where are you?” he called. “Please, don’t be dead.”
He cast the spell again hoping it would reilluminate the lost trail but there was no trace that he could see. He was going to start retracing his own steps to where he lost the trail when he heard Kuna’s voice in the distance.
A yelp echoed through the trees. Loki tore off in her direction, conjuring knives in his hands, ready to slay the unseen beast attacking her. He could see a clearing in front of him. He slowed, crouching in the shadows, and peeked through an opening in the brush.
Kuna stood in front of what was left of a long dead tree, a long stick in her hands. Loki searched the clearing for her assailant but found no one, just Kuna and the tree. The upper branches had long broken away, leaving only the hollowed trunk behind barely standing on its rotted stump, the tree stood only a few feet taller than Loki now; a fraction of its once great height.
Kuna squared up with the tree and swung her stick at the trunk, letting out a grunt with the effort. The sound reverberated through the woods. Pieces of bark rained down on Kuna. She swiped at them with her hands.
“The woodland troll threw boulders, but the hero’s shiny armor protected her!” Kuna narrated.
Loki smiled and tried to stifle his laughter from the bushes as he watched.
“Your boulders are no match for my sword!” Kuna swung again at the tree and it wobbled with the blow.
“Hyah!” she stabbed at tree as it wobbled back and it creaked and fell backwards with a crash. She leapt on top and plunged her sword through an old animal’s nest in the trunk.
“You’re defeated, woodland troll! You can’t hurt the village anymore!”
“Oh dear, what have I done?” Loki mused from his hiding place. “I’ve raised a hero.”
Kuna stood triumphantly on the fallen tree with her back to Loki. He took his chance and crept out silently from the bushes. He stalked her without making a noise. A wicked smile grew on his face with each step.
“A hero?” he said, laughing evilly. “A hero who’s wandered too far from home.”
Kuna jumped and fell off of her fallen foe. She turned over and grabbed her stick. She gasped. “The sorcerer!”
Raising her stick to swing at him, Loki made an elegant swipe with his knife, cutting the stick in half. It dangled by a thread in front of Kuna’s face. She gulped and looked up into Loki’s smiling face.
“Ahh!” She flung the broken stick at him and ran off into the woods. “Run away!”
“Hey!” Loki swatted the weapon aside. “You get back here!” He chased after her back into the underbrush. “Heroes don’t run away!”
Branches and vines smacked him in the face and caught in his hair as he ran. He quickly lost sight of tiny Kuna in the bushes and plants. He stopped and listened. Silence had fallen again. She was hiding. His ears listened for any trace of movement. He heard nothing. She was good.
“Yaaaahh!” Kuna jumped out of a branch above Loki’s head. He stepped out of the way and she flopped into a pile of leaves on the ground.
“You were doing well until just then,” he said, leaning over her. “The key to an air assassination is not giving away your position by screaming like a howler monkey.”
He picked her up and flung her over his shoulder. “Now, the poor hero’s been kidnapped by the evil sorcerer.” He started walking back towards the tent with her draped over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “I’m taking you back to my evil lair. Whatever will the hero do now?”
“Stab!” Kuna jabbed Loki in the back with a broken stick.
“Yeee!” Loki yelped and let go of her. She jumped out of his hold and took off again. Loki watched her disappear through the ferns, cackling as she ran. “She really is my kid.”
He walked along, listening for her once more. He had nearly returned to the tent when her felt her presence behind a tree. She was breathing hard and trying not to laugh. He smiled and walked on. He created a clone that continued down the path. He crept around the other side of the tree and grabbed her.
“Raaaar!” he growled.
“Ahh! Cheater!” she cried. She fell backwards. “How did you know where I was?”
“Mouth-breather,” Loki taunted her. He picked her up by the ankle and carried her upside down back to the tent.
She giggled the whole way, swinging back and forth, trying to stab him with her broken twig.
“I think I’ll turn you into a frog,” he said.
“No!” she cried.
“Or maybe a mouse. They’re very quiet.”
“No! I don’t wanna be a mouse!”
“Or how about a homing pigeon. That way you won’t get lost.”
“I wasn’t lost,” she said.
“Well, you sure did wander far. Look how late it is!”
“Sorry,” she said. “Are you still going to turn me into a frog?”
“Nah,” Loki said, setting her down. “Just don’t do that to me. I thought you’d been eaten or something.”
“Stab!” Kuna jabbed him again, this time in the thigh.
“You little bilgesnipe!” he shouted.
“The villain let his guard down long enough for the hero to make her escape!” Kuna narrated. She jumped over a pile of books and rolled over her shoulder, leaping up and snatching her toys from her bedroll. “She rescues her friends from his evil lair and saves the day!”
“Sure, sure,” he grumbled, rubbing the sore spot on his thigh. “Saves the day.”
He sat down between the piles of books and found one of the ones he had been reading. Kuna bounced around the tent with her toys. She grabbed some food from the pile on the floor and stuffed it in her mouth. She stopped abruptly and looked at Loki. He was intently studying another book.
Darkness had settled on the tent again before Loki looked up. He had just realized how quiet Kuna had become. She was asleep on the floor, wrapped up in her blankets. Loki started to get up when his foot bumped an apple on the ground in front of him. He looked down. Kuna had made a small meal for him of fruit, bread, cheese, and dried meat with a cup of water from their supplies. He smiled and sat down again, picking up his meager meal and taking a bite of bread.
When Kuna woke the next morning, she glanced over at Loki’s bedroll, but it was empty. She frowned at it and turned over. Loki was sitting up against the wall of the tent, legs crossed with a book in his lap. His chin drooped to his chest as he snoozed.
Kuna stood, picking up Loki’s blanket and marching over to him. She nudged the book off his lap with her stick and threw the blanket over him. She gently tucked the blanket around his shoulders and legs. Finally, she set her toys on his lap in case he needed them. They helped her sleep.
Picking up his cup and plate from the night before, she walked back over to their pile of supplies and began organizing it. When she was done, she looked around for more inside things to do. The tent smelled of old books and ink and slightly of mildew. She scrunched up her nose. Her Masters would not have liked the smell. Or the mess. Looking around, she could have sworn she did not take this many books at Odin’s study.
She walked through the stacks of books and found their golden storybook. She traced the ornate knots on the cover. She wondered if Loki would be mad at her if she peeked inside at the pretty pictures. She started to open the cover but then put it down.
Instead, she occupied her time counting the books in the big stacks scattered around the room. She counted one hundred and seventeen. Loki snored softly as Kuna began to tidy up the stacks of books, straightening them and pushing them to one side of the tent. She put them all in level stacks with the spines facing out, neatly aligned with the curve of the wall.
She stood back and looked at all the books and then got an idea. She pushed a few stacks in around Loki. She used the books like bricks, building up walls until it looked like there was a castle around him with just his head peeking out above and his legs sticking through the gates. Then she sat back and waited and waited and waited.
She heard a long sigh from within the castle walls. “Kuna,” Loki’s calm voice came from behind the walls of books.
Kuna covered her mouth, wheezing with laughter. She climbed up a stack of books and peeked over the walls at Loki. He still sat, wrapped in the blanket.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“You’re the King of Books,” she said, not able to hide her laughter anymore.
“You’re damn right, I’m a king,” he said. He settled into his blanket, getting comfy. “This castle is rather draughty. I think it needs a roof.”
Kuna gasped and jumped down, grabbing her blanket and throwing it over the top of the book castle. She got down on all fours and crawled towards the entrance.
“Can I come in?” She poked Loki’s feet.
“What’s the password?”
“Aw,” Kuna sat back. “Pretty please?”
“It doesn’t matter how pretty or ugly the please is: no.”
Kuna frowned. “But I wanna come in too.”
“What’s the password?”
Kuna grumbled. She thought for a long time. “Um, password?”
“All right, come in,” Loki said, pulling his feet inside.
“Yay!” Kuna crawled into the small space, over Loki’s legs settled down by his side. It was dark now that she’d tossed the blanket over their castle. Loki conjured a little orb of light that bobbed up to the top of the blanket and hovered there.
“Do you like your castle?” Kuna asked, giggling a little.
Loki glanced around and then chuckled. “I think we should have taken more books.”
They both laughed. Loki put his arm around Kuna and pulled her up onto his lap. She squealed with joy.
“You’re quite the little trickster, aren’t you?”
“Can I be the Princess of Books?”
“You fell asleep reading last night.”
“And you forgot to eat again.”
“I did. Thank you for making me dinner. I’ve been doing a lot of studying and time feels like it’s flying by.”
“What are you studying?” Kuna asked.
“Um, well, these are books about curses.”
Kuna gasped. “That’s angry magic.” She shuttered. “Why would you wanna read about that?”
“I’m just researching curses. You’re right, they are rather nasty. What do you know about them?”
She shook her head. “It’s the worst magic of all.”
“Hmm,” he said. “Do you think all magic is bad?”
Kuna thought about his question a moment. “Maybe not all magic. The magic the Masters use was given to them by the gods, but most of the time, they used it to hurt us.”
“Why is that, do you think?” Loki asked her.
“Because we were bad,” she pouted.
“I don’t think so.”
She looked up at him. “I think they used it to hurt you so you would never question them,” Loki continued. “So that you would never try to run or stand up to them. I think they used it to control you.”
Kuna looked down, staring at her hands.
“I also think they may have used a curse on you, Kuna, to control you even more.”
Kuna’s breath caught in her chest. She breathed hard and clenched her fists. She felt overwhelmed by emotion and shook her head to make it all go away.
“No,” she cried, tears forming in her eyes.
“Now, now,” Loki said, gently consoling her. “It’s all right. I’m going to fix it. That’s why we took all these books. That’s why I’ve been staying up all night studying them. I’m going to figure out a way to lift the curse on you.”
“Why… why did they put a curse on me?” she choked.
“I think they saw you as a threat.”
“But I’m not a threat. I’m tiny.”
“You defeated a troll yesterday and then you stabbed a god. Twice! Not to mention all your other feats of bravery. Don’t underestimate yourself, my little raven.”
“But I don’t… I don’t remember anything. I don’t remember anyone cursing me!”
“That’s the point, darling,” he said. “They wanted to keep it secret even from you so that you could not tell anyone. But I’m much smarter than they are. I’m going fix it, all right?”
Kuna was practically sobbing now, sucking in hard breaths and forcing them out with all her might. It hurt Loki to see her reaction. He pulled her close and hugged her. She cuddled into his chest.
“It’s going to be all right,” he told her and gave her a gentle kiss on the head.
“Yes, they are. And we’ll defeat them together.”
22 notes · View notes
What are your opinions on Frigga as a mother? I know a lot of people in this fandom tend to glorify her as the “good” parent, but I don’t fully agree with that and I’m curious to know your thoughts.
I'm so sorry this took so long to answer!!
Trigger Warning: mentions of attempt at suicide
The thing is, put anyone bedside Odin and they will look like the "good" one, but that does not neccessary mean they are good. Do I think she was a good mother to Loki? No. No I do not. Odin stabbed Loki in the front, Frigga stabbed him from behind. She gaslighted his feels, used them against him or flat out invalidated them! She also lied to Loki his whole entire life, letting him believe that frost giants are monsters, ultimately setting Loki up for the biggest fall of all while letting Odin use him for his own purposes. She did save Loki's life in The Dark World || "Frigga is the only reason you're still alive" - Odin to Loki || but was that really for Loki or simply for herself? She did visit Loki in his cell (her illusion did anyway) but what she says is what's problematic. Instead of asking Loki "What happened to you after you tried to end your own life?" "Are you ok?" "Why did you do -- ?" And so on, instead of asking about her son's health/experiences, she continues to gaslight his feelings, uses them against him, and is hypocritical while doing so. She'll acknowledge all of Loki's "faults" while defending Odin's, who basically did the same thing but for wildly more selfish reasons. I do however think she loves him to some extent, but just because you love someone, doesn't excuse your abusive behavior towards them.
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Sienna's Next Mission
Third in Marvel series: Playing with the Infinity Arc
Relationship: Steve & Original Female Character
Word Count: 2000
Tags: Friendship; Nightmares; Comfort
*Notes can be found on this story on AO3.
Remember me fondly, my darling.
Loki's parting words followed her out of her dream. The image of him falling from the Bifrost Bridge fading as she popped open her eyes and bolted up in her bed. Rapid breaths panted, and her heart thundered in her chest. The memory hadn't faded in the year since Heimdall had called her to witness Loki's demise after Thor's banishment.
Taking a deep breath, she glanced at the clock on her nightstand. 4:55 AM. No reason to go back to sleep.
She pushed aside her bedding and remade her bed. Then, she made her way into her bathroom to prepare for the day. Fifteen minutes later, she had showered and had dressed, using the magic Frigga and the Ancient One had taught her most of her life. A glance in the mirror showed her presentable enough to make her way downstairs and into her clinic.
Ignoring the soft pangs left over from her dream, she quickly set up her coffeemaker and moved to knock on the door of her apartment's second bedroom. Quiet answered her. With a shake of her head, she returned to the coffeemaker and poured enough into two mugs, complete with cream and sugar. She picked up the mugs and took them downstairs, following the steady thumps and grunts coming from the workout room she'd added the previous year.
"How did I know I'd find you here?" she asked the lone occupant, a soft smile on her face.
Steve Rogers turned toward her with a slight frown before turning back to the punching bag and taking another swing. "I hope I didn't wake you. I couldn't sleep."
"Neither could I, it would seem." She set down his mug on the boxing arena she'd erected for sparring and turned to him. "Bad dreams again?"
He stopped long enough to nod and make brief eye contact before going back and swinging another round of punches. The bag took them well enough, but the squeak of the chains holding it from the hook in her ceiling begged to differ. If she had to guess, a new bag would be needed soon enough, especially with the super-soldier taking out all his aggression on it. This one wasn't the first to gain his attention, and she feared it wouldn't be his last.
"The train," she paused for a moment before adding, "or the ice?"
His punch landed harder with the first, which meant he'd been dreaming of Bucky, his soulmate. She'd seen the initials on the boys in their younger days and had known that the two would forever be entwined with whatever the future held for them. To have lost his soulmate almost seventy years ago but feeling like it was barely a year, thanks to his time under the ice, couldn't be easy.
Sienna didn't say anything. There wasn't anything that could ease the ache as he experienced the loss again, this time as a man out of time. She'd heard the news of Bucky's fall when the news had come back to his parents, watching as they fell apart and doing what she could for them and Bucky's sister. Her grief had been tucked away, only coming out in the quiet moments after her clinic closed. She'd survived though and had grown more dedicated in helping others as she'd always known she was meant to. It didn't matter that her heart had broken at losing a dear friend. All that mattered was ensuring that she got the others home, especially Steve, the special little boy she'd helped his mother raise upon his father's death.
Then, the news had come about Steve and his heroic actions that led to a seventy-year nap in the ice. Her heart had shattered at the news, knowing she wouldn't ever be the same. She had never entertained the idea of having children since she had no intention of falling for a Midgardian. Their lives were fleeting compared to her own. Besides that, her heart would always belong to Loki, someone beyond her reach. Steve and Bucky had become adopted children for her, nothing official but real all the same. She'd watched them grow into fine young men and even better friends. Their discovery of being soulmates had sent them to her, something both had been frightened of with good reason due to 1930's strict society. They'd known their secret would be safe with her, and safe it stayed all these years.
"Why are you up so early? You usually sleep as long as you can before the clinic doors open." Steve's voice cut through her bittersweet walk down memory lane. "Was it your soulmate? Loki?"
A watery smile fell across her lips as she nodded. She couldn't make eye contact with him as more memories rushed to the surface again. "It was his final moments again. They seem to haunt me the most."
"Yeah, I get that."
The punching bag lurched and churned with each new blow he landed until one sent the bag flying, sand scattering across the floor.
She groaned at its untimely death and turned a glare toward the super-soldier. "Steve, sweetheart, can't you take some pity on them? They aren't exactly cheap to procure, and you're going through a record number each week."
He grimaced and finally stopped long enough to take long sips of his cooled coffee. "Sorry. I'll replace it this afternoon. It's the least I can do for you letting me stay here. You're the only family I have left. I still struggle with believing you're here."
That brought a small grin back to her lips. "Well, unless something dramatic happens, I'll still be here for the next few millennia. Asgardians live far longer than Midgardians. You remember the stories I used to tell you when you were a child?"
"Fairy tales, you called them," he said with a nod. "They were always better than the other ones you used to read to me and Buck. Grimm and Andersen have nothing on you, Sienna."
As he spoke, he strode closer to take a seat beside her though he'd made sure to keep some distance. Sweat poured off of him, and he didn't want to get any on her when she'd be opening the clinic soon.
Her smile widened at his compliment, but it soon faded when she spied the distant look in Steve's eyes. His hand rubbed absently at his chest, the spot where Bucky's initials had been tattooed. "What's going on? Something I need to look at?"
The confused expression he wore evaporated when he followed her gaze to where his hand sat against his chest. With a shake of his head, he assured her he would be fine.
When she would've pressed the matter, her vision blurred. She swayed a moment as the unfamiliar connection formed between her and Heimdall. The only reason she didn't fall was the strong hands that gripped her to keep her upright, Heimdall appearing a moment later in front of her.
"Father, to what do I owe this honor?" she asked with a formal air. His visits hadn't come without some type of bad news attached to it. Upon spying his pained expression, she leaned closer to his clone to ask, "What is it? What's going on? Is it Frigga? Thor? Allfather?"
Her father's expression softened for a moment, his fondness for her spirit leaking through before he grew serious again. "They are all well, Sigyn."
"Sienna," she reminded gently. "Sigyn hasn't existed over a hundred years now."
He nodded. "Sienna. It takes some getting used to."
"I know, but it's gotten easier over the years here." She offered him a quick smile before diving back into his reason for visiting her. "So, what's going on? You wouldn't be here if it weren't serious. I know Allfather wouldn't be pleased with you coming to me after I left the way I did."
"You are my daughter, and I will always be watching out for you. But, yes, he won't be pleased, which is why Frigga has agreed not to tell him about this special request to warn you." He exhaled and dropped his head until they were almost touching. "I had to come, to warn you. Loki is on his way to Midgard, and he means to cause some dangerous mischief. You have to stop him, daughter, for his sake as well as those on Midgard."
She sucked in a breath at Loki's name and blew it out. "Loki's alive? How? I saw him fall. You brought me there to witness his last moments. How is he alive?"
"I do not have the luxury of time to explain everything our Queen has discovered. I was merely given enough time to warn you, so you might plan what to do to save him and Midgard from whatever trouble he is bringing." He reached out to her then, touching her shoulder above where Steve continued to hold her upright. "He's grown lost in the past few years, more lost than when you left. Loki has never forgotten you and needs you more than ever. He needs his soulmate, sweeting. I hope you can help him before it's too late."
As quickly as he appeared, Heimdall was gone, their connection severed.
"Sienna, you okay? Sienna?" Steve's hands tightened around her arms, keeping her from sinking to the floor with the new revelations swirling through her mind.
When she managed to make eye contact with Steve and focus on his features, she tried to nod but ended up shaking her head instead. "Nothing is okay. We have to go."
She pushed out of his grasp and raced toward the stairs, intent on packing up what they'd need.
He caught up with her in the apartment as she pulled out an overnight bag and began stuffing it. Cautious steps brought him into her room until he could grasp her wrist and slow her movements so she might hear him as he asked, "Go where? Sienna, you're not making a lot of sense right now."
"Oh," she stalled, meeting his concerned gaze, "I guess I better figure that out, shouldn't I? Give me a moment."
The link had been severed upon his fall, but she hoped to rekindle it with the new information she'd gotten from Heimdall. If Loki was truly alive, then their connection should be restored enough that she might locate him. As long as he didn't shut her out, she would be able to track him and his next potential location.
Reaching out to Loki, she used all her mental acuity to bridge their connection, to lock onto him. She slumped onto the edge of her bed as the connection synced up and Loki came into view. She gasped. He was indeed alive and headed for some type of base on Midgard, a heavily fortified one that she couldn't recognize the emblems marking the various buildings. An image of Director Fury flashed across her mind while she explored the few areas Loki showed her, unbeknownst to him.
"Hello, darling," he purred, having sensed her. The cruel smirk he wore sent her reeling further back onto her bed, his words chilling her in ways she never thought possible, not coming from him. "I shall see you soon."
The connection broke. Loki had broken it, she realized belatedly after giving her enough information to track him.
Reaching out for Steve, she pulled herself to her feet and straightened her shoulders. She met his mounting concern with a determination she hadn't felt since she'd learned Thor had been banished to Midgard and Steve had survived his time in the ice.
"I'm fine, but we need to go now. Loki's almost here."
With that, she opened a portal to the Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility, where Nick Fury and others had gathered. They had a mission to complete, and she refused to fail in saving Midgard and Loki from whatever he'd gotten himself into. She wouldn't lose him a second time.
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A Long Time Coming
Summary: Your past is a mystery. No one knows who your parents are or where they ended up after you were born. Somehow you found yourself working with S.H.I.E.L.D, resulting in a knock off super soldier serum saving your life meaning you weren’t a regular agent anymore. The Avengers welcomed you with open arms, friendships blossoming with the entire team, especially the adorable God of Thunder.
Warnings: swearing, angst
A/N: This is kind of a filler chapter so I may post the next chapter later on!
Thank god Thor grabbed me before the beam hit the ground because the feeling of traveling like this was so overwhelming; when we finally made it to Asgard, I fell to my knees.
“Heimdall,” Thor greeted the man standing in the center of the room.
“Odinson,” the man said, a small smile playing on his lips. Thor looked for me, finally finding me on the ground, breathing heavy.
“Little one, are you okay?” he bent down to help me to my feet.
“Could’ve fucking warned me sparkles,” I grunted as I stood; the gatekeeper tried to hide his laugh.
“Sparkles?” the gatekeeper chuckled.
“Yes,” Thor rolled his eye. “Heimdall, meet Lady (Y/N), who enjoys calling me by ridiculous nicknames,” Thor shot me a playful scowl. “Little one, this is Heimdall. The gatekeeper of the Nine Realms,” Thor gestured towards the man in gold armor. I finally got a better look at him now that all of his attention was on me; his chocolate skin was a stark contrast to the bright golden armor he wore. His blazing amber eyes bore into me like he was trying to see into my soul.
“Pleasure to meet you,” his stoic expression cracked for a moment; he had a friendly smile.
“Pleasure is mine,” I smiled warmly at him.
“I feel I should warn you, Lady (Y/N), because I can tell Odinson hasn’t yet. Do not stray from him; Asgard is a new world to you, please be careful,” he bowed his head.
“Thank you,” I bowed my head to him.
“Come, let us go find my father,” Thor touched my arm. We walked out of the small chamber we were in, and my chest tightened, my feet rooted to the ground. My eyes traveled down the rainbow bridge to the most beautiful place I’d ever seen. Asgard was unbelievable, I couldn’t grasp how large it is from where we stood, but beautiful buildings stretched as far as I could see.
“Thor,” I whispered, shock and amazement keeping me in place.
“What is it?” he turned back to me.
“I’m speechless; I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,” I couldn’t shake this stunned feeling.
“What do you mean?” Thor didn’t get it, didn’t understand how beautiful his world was.
“Asgard,” I whispered. I saw it hit him finally; it dawned on him that I was in awe of his home, and he smiled with pride.
“Sometimes I forget how amazing it truly is,” he continued to smile at his home. “I would love to let you stand here and marvel at Asgard, but we must find my father before he finds us,” he looked a little sad, but he was right. I started to follow him, feeling the rainbow bridge alive under my feet; I tried to take in as much of this view as possible as we continued to move closer to the entrance of Asgard. We walked through the streets, and I stayed by Thor as we passed by Asgardians on our way to the castle. Fuck, sometimes I forget that Thor is a future king; I got some odd looks, but I ignored them, still too mesmerized by everything around me.
“Sif!” I heard Thor yell in front of me as we entered the castle. He jogged up the steps in front of us and met a woman, hugging her; I ignored a pang of jealously, knowing he wasn’t involved with her. Thor was my closest friend, I knew how he felt about Sif, and it wasn’t romantic; on his end, at least, Sif was another story. Sif must not know that I’m a super soldier because she started quickly talking to Thor while still making my way up the steps, unaware I could hear her.
“So this is the woman you always talk about,” there was a hint of contempt in her voice.
“Stop, none of that,” Thor warned.
“She cannot be better than an Asgardian, a warrior,” she still sounded angry.
“I am to be your king, I expect respect from you,” Thor’s voice took on a harsh edge, “that extends to my guest, understood warrior,” he spat the word at her.
“Yes, your Highness,” she buckled under his stare. Why was that one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen? I finally made my way to where they stood, trying to make it seem that I didn’t just hear that entire conversation.
“Still enjoying the scenery, little one,” Thor turned to me, smiling brightly.
“Of course, it’s gorgeous here,” I smiled back at him; my amazement towards Asgard made Sif relax some.
“This is Sif; I have talked of her before,” Thor gestured to her.
“It’s an honor to meet you Sif,” I bowed my head to her.
“Please, I am not royalty; you do not have to bow to me. It is wonderful to meet you; this one talks about you a lot,” her face softened, and she didn’t seem as put off by me anymore.
“Follow me, darling, we need to find a dress quickly before my father finds us,” I rolled my eyes but followed him quickly, Sif behind me. We enter a room lined with clothing, some of the most beautiful dresses I’d ever seen.
“Who’s are these?” I gawked at the dresses.
“My mother’s,” Thor said behind me, my heart sunk.
“Oh honey, isn’t there something else I can wear?” I walked toward him, grabbing his hand.
“She might be right; how is your father going to take her wearing his wife's dress?” Sif said gently. “Stay here; I will be right back,” she hurried out of the room.
“Apparently, Sif has a stash of dresses I did not know existed,” Thor weakly chuckled, not taking his gaze off the floor.
“Why did you bring me in here?” I asked softly.
“I honestly do not know where else to get you a dress. I knew her clothes were still here,” Thor squeezed my hand gently. “I have not been in here in a long time,” he whispered. I placed a hand on his cheek, coaxing him to look at me; our eyes met, and I saw the glisten of tears in his eyes. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him to me; his arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me close. I felt his body shake slightly, trying to fight back sobs when he finally broke, falling to his knees slowly; I followed him, still holding him. “I miss her so much,” sobs broke his words.
“You have to remember that she is always here. She is watching you succeed at being who you are,” I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling a little odd for a moment, but it was gone.
“What did you say,” his head came off my shoulder, his face only a few inches from mine.
“I don’t know, for a second, it felt like someone was putting words in my mouth,” I kept staring into his eyes.
“My mother said that to me once,” Thor smiled. “I think you are right; she is watching over me,” the tears stopped falling, but his eyes were still red. “She would have adored you; she always loved a woman who could hold her own,” I could see the happiness in his eyes.
“I wish I could’ve met the woman that raised the amazing man in front of me,” I smiled back at him, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. I watched his eye drop to my lips before meeting my gaze again; he leaned closer, closing the gap between us.
“Found something!” Sif flew into the room again; I flew backward, landing on my ass, hard. “Oh, did I interrupt,” I could hear the slight satisfaction in her voice. She held a beautiful, simple, burgundy dress with a black shawl.
“Get dressed, little one, we will be outside,” Thor got to his feet and pulled Sif from the room. I shed my hoodie and leggings and slid into the dress, then pulled the shawl around myself and fixed my hair, thanking god it dried straight and not wild and frizzy. I slid my flats on before taking one more look around the room at the small reminder of Thor’s mother.
“Thank you, Frigga, for the wonderful man you raised,” I whispered before heading to the door; it almost sounded like someone said, “No, thank you,” but I shook it off and walked out to meet Thor and Sif.
“Ready?” Thor said as he turned around, his mouth slightly falling open. I was pushing out the wrinkles in the dress when I looked up at him; his mouth was still ajar, eye roaming over me.
“Come on, Pointbreak, let’s go find daddy dearest,” I chuckled, smacking his arm.
“He is either going to love you or hate you,” Sif said, shaking her head. Thor finally shut his mouth and started to walk along one of the long corridors; he reached behind him, feeling for me. I laced my arm with his keeping pace with him; he looked down at me, flashing me a sweet but almost anxious smile. Sif noticed I was easily keeping pace, raising an eyebrow at me, but she didn’t say anything.
“Where is he?” a voice boomed from around the corner in front of us.
“Oh boy,” I whispered.
“Don’t worry,” Thor whispered, patting my arm. A shorter man rounded the corner after a few seconds, accompanied by a half dozen guards, stopping short when he saw us. “Father, there you are,” Thor smiled, Sif and I bowed our heads as he came into view.
“Don’t my son,” Odin quieted him instantly. “She does not belong here in Asgard any more than a goat belongs at a banquet table,” Odin’s angry voice bounced off the walls around us.
“Excuse you. Don’t call me a goat when you know nothing of me,” I barked back at him, lifting my head and dropping Thor’s arm.
“You bring a human- “he stopped abruptly, cocking his head to one side; I held back a giggle seeing where Thor picked up the habit. “You are not completely human,” he finally addressed me specifically.
“Not exactly,” I flinched a little.
“What are you?” Odin stepped closer, looking at me.
“Okay, you don’t have to make it sound like I’m a vermin or something,” I rolled my eyes; he was kind of annoying.
“Respect the King, answer my question!” he yelled at me; I didn’t even flinch before standing toe to toe with him. I saw surprise cross his face quickly, but it didn’t last long.
“I will gladly tell you if you can treat me with a tiny bit of respect,” I was immediately regretting what I said but stood my ground.
“What are you,” Odin clenched his teeth as he spoke, moving his face away from mine.
“I am a Super Soldier. About ten years ago, right before I met your son, I helped infiltrate an enemy base when I was mortally wounded. I was basically dead, but when we raided the compound, my team found a replicated sample of the serum that creates the ultimate soldier. It saved my life and gave me the abilities I possess now,” I finished, waiting for him to lose his shit again.
“Why did you never tell me you were on the brink of death?” Thor’s voice caught me off guard; I looked over at his shocked expression.
“I don’t like to remember what it felt like, being that close to death. I still vividly remember it,” I shuddered, but I regained my composition.
“Your nightmares,” Thor whispered, and I nodded.
“What abilities do you possess?” Odin asked, pulling my attention to him.
“Enhanced speed, strength, stamina, reflexes, durability, sense, longevity, healing, and agility. I am the perfect soldier,” I sighed.
“You were not born with this?” Odin stepped closer again; you answered with a shake of your head. “You have the same abilities as Asgardians. Incredible,” he started walking around me.
“I assumed Thor told you about the serum, but I see now that he didn’t,” I shot him a glare, a guilty look on his face.
“He did not, but what about the other half of your lineage?” Odin asked, eyeing me up.
“What do you mean?” I furrowed my brow.
“I can feel your connection to magic. Most humans cannot use magic,” Odin locked eye with me.
“I don’t know who my parents are; I never met them,” I shrugged. “So your guess is as good as mine,” you sighed.
“We can have the healers run some tests. Now, son, why did you bring this soldier here?” Odin started towards Thor. “Aside from your infatuation with her,” Odin stood in front of his son.
“What?” I said, but Thor just shook his head.
“She is worthy to wield Mjolnir,” he said plainly.
“What!” Sif’s outburst drew everyone’s attention.
“Why does that bring you home?” Odin probed.
“The power surprised her, and she started to channel it, I attempted to summon Mjolnir, but I could not. I managed to take it from her, but it was no easy feat,” Thor’s head hung; he looked embarrassed to admit this to his father, and I felt horrible that it was my fault he had to.
“She may be, at times, slightly stronger than you are. She is capable of great strength from Earth, and I sense she is also something different,” Odin said plainly. “With that being said, my son, it appears you have met your match. I would not ever let go of that,” Odin smiled before walking off.
“You are not ashamed of me,” Thor sounded like a boy again.
“No, it does not make you any less worthy, but I give you this advice. She is your equal; together, you two can bring worlds to their knees. Lady (Y/N), the healers will run some tests before dinner,” Odin walked away, not turning back, his guards following.
Series Masterlist | Chapter 4
@criminalyetminimal @kelly-n-russell @sgt-morgan
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MCU: Is Loki a serial betrayal or not?
So one of the things I see often discussed in the MCU is the long, long history of deceit and betrayal that goes on between Thor and Loki that got mentioned in “Thor – Ragnarok”.
As various MCU movies and comics get mentioned, I made a list of the sources referenced so you’ll know if they might end up spoiling you. Consider yourself warned (or feel free to skip the list if it bores you).
Movies: “Thor” (2011), “The Avengers” (2012), “Thor – The Dark World” (2013), “Avengers: Age of Ultron” (2015), “Thor – Ragnark” (2017), “The Avengers – Infinity War” (2018), “The Avengers – Endgame” (2019), “WandaVision” (2021)
Comics: “Thor: Son of Asgard” (2004) “Marvel's The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week” (2012)
Direct-to-video animated film: “Thor - Tales of Asgard” (2011)
Motion comics: None mentioned
Books: “Thor: heroes and villains” (2011), “Marvel Studios The first 10 years” (2018)
Novels: “Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: Thor” by Alex Irvine (2015), “Thor: The Dark World Junior Novelization” by Michael Siglain (2013), “Loki – Where mischief lies” by Mackenzi Lee (2019), “The pirate angel, the talking tree and captain rabbit” by Steve Behling (2019)
Webs: None mentioned
Others: Interview “A Talk With THOR: RAGNAROK’s Eric Pearson”, interview “Joss Whedon told Comic-Con the question he doesn’t want us to ask ever again”, Interview “Chris Hemsworth (Thor: The Dark World)”, Interview “Tom Hiddleston Talks the Love-Hate of Loki and ‘Thor’”, Interview “Chris Hemsworth Talks Expanding Beyond Asgard, Interview “Building to THE AVENGERS 2, and More on the Set of THOR: THE DARK WORLD”, Interview “Chris Hemsworth ‘Thor: Ragnarok’, Embracing the Comedy, the Thor/Loki Relationship and More”, Interview “Avengers 4 Endgame: Is Loki ALIVE? Chris Hemsworth gave a massive hint at London fan event”, Interview “Avengers stars reveal one big downside to the job”, “How Taika Waititi Made Thor: Ragnarok So Damn Funny”, Interview “How 'Thor: Ragnarok' Honors & Deviates from Its Comics Foundation”, Interview “Empire Podcast Spoiler Special: Thor: Ragnarok with Taika Waititi”, interview “Kevin Fiege Talks Iron Man 2, The Avengers and More”
So now, let’s start with a quote from Eric Pearson, one of the guys responsible for the script of “Thor - Ragnarok”.
“Thor and Loki have had so many interactions, and alliances, and betrayals. They’ve been each others’ nemesis for so long that even they’re a little exhausted by themselves. It’s almost like the fatigue of dealing with each other allows this terminator like force of Hela to just walk in. They’re divided so she conquers.” [A Talk With THOR: RAGNAROK’s Eric Pearson]
So, since math is an awesome thing and “Marvel Studios The first 10 years” gave us an official timeline let’s do some math.
For start the official timeline.
965: Odin adopts Loki
2012: The Avengers
2013: Thor: The Dark World
2015: Avengers: Age of Ultron
2017: Thor: Ragnarok, Avengers: Infinity War
2022: Avengers: Endgame (actually not mentioned in the timeline but it takes place 5 years after “Avengers: Infinity War”)
Loki is adopted in 965 so he and Thor are adopted brothers by 1052 years in “Thor - Ragnarok”.
So… “Thor” takes place in 2011 and overall covers three days and, in 2 of them, Thor and Loki are on opposing sides. At the end of “Thor” Loki is believed to be dead.
In 2012 Loki shows up again in “Avengers”. Thor arrives on Earth by night and spend there what, a day? before going back to Asgard with Loki, who then spends a year in jail with Thor never visiting him before he is freed in “Thor: The Dark World”, which takes place in 2013.
It’s worth to mention in “Thor: The Dark World” Thor and Loki are allied against Malekit before Loki is believed dead again and instead rules Asgard up until 2017, when “Thor – Ragnarok” takes place.
Anyway this means that in those 1052 years they spent together Loki and Thor had been on opposing sides for 6 years… during which only 1 year was spent with Thor knowing Loki was alive and only 4 days were spent with them actively fighting each other.
But maybe those days were days of intense betrayal… so let’s sum them up.
For start let’s remember everyone that betrayal is a deliberate break of trust, of faith.
“Thor” is the one which contain most betrayal, even though some things weren’t meant to be as such at the time in which it was filmed but whatever, let’s be strict.
- Loki ruined Thor’s coronation
- Loki had Odin warned they were going to Jotunheim so that Odin came saving their lives
- Loki lied about Odin being dead and Frigga not wanting Thor back.
- After making clear he was Thor’s enemy (I mean he sent the Destroyer to ‘Ensure his brother does not return’, could he have been more explicit?) he tricked him into helping him making him believe he was dangling on the edge of the Bifrost and needed his help.
Okay, that’s a total of 4, one of which done to save everyone’s live (and it saved everyone’s life but, as I said, I’ll be strict and still count 4).
“The Avengers” despite painting Loki as the villain, has no betrayal. Loki doesn’t make any attempt to paint himself as Thor’s friend, he doesn’t even call Thor ‘brother’, he makes clear he wants Earth’s crown and he has made clear in “Thor” he wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. Yes, he lies to him about sending the Tesseract away, uses an illusion to trick Thor into ending up in the cage and drop the cage on the ground and stabs Thor on surprise as they’re fighting. He however never let Thor believe they’re on the same side, I’ll say with dropping the cage he remarked how he wasn’t on Thor’s side since he wondered if the fall could kill Thor. If Thor didn’t want to get the message, this was not Loki betraying him, this was Thor refusing to listen. As for Loki surviving to a fall into the void and not warning Thor about it, that’s not betrayal either. When Loki let himself fall in the void it was a suicide attempt. His survival is a plot hole for whom Whedon didn’t really bother making up an explanation.
“Well, I can’t tell you exactly what went on because it’s this dark, dark secret that I didn’t make up yet. But, the other day, I had trouble with that because he had this very passionate Shakespearean tragedy thing going on in Thor and then I needed a villain who’s not only capable, but ready and willing and anxious to take on all these heroes. For me, he just basically went on some horrible walkabout… That was pretty much as far as I got.” [Joss Whedon told Comic-Con the question he doesn’t want us to ask ever again ]
“Avengers: Infinity War” suggested Thanos resurrected him, how is up to speculation. I wonder if it has to do with the mind stone, which somehow resurrected his mind in a way similar to how Wanda resurrected Vision. But I’m not sure Marvel really tried to figure this out beyond ‘it just happened’. Anyway Loki didn’t plan to fake his death, his survival/resurrection was accidental and he didn’t own to his family to send them a note saying ‘I’m alive’.
So we’ve a total of 0.
“Thor: The Dark World” has merely the fact that Loki again didn’t die when he was supposed to. Mind you, he was supposed to die (or if he were to survive this was meant to be a secret as the movie’s ending was meant to be very different), but then they decided to keep him alive and on the throne of Asgard for “Thor: Ragnarok”. So, he clearly was stabbed and let Thor believe the wound was fatal, then went back to Asgard, took Odin’s place, offered Thor the throne and when the latter refused, took it for himself. We can’t count the fact he told Kurse ‘You might want to take the stairs to the left’ as betrayal because, again, being jailed, he’s clearly not on Thor’s same side nor trusted. Betrayal is a break of trust from someone you believed on your side. An enemy doesn’t betray you, a friend does, and Thor stated he doesn’t view anymore Loki as his brother. We also know the action was a miscalculation on his part, he thought Kurse was merely a Marauder, a pirate, not a Dark Elf part of a Dark Elves’ invasion, and he didn’t think it would end up causing Frigga’s death, just some troubles for his father and brother who cast him in that cell and, according to the novelization, he was meant to end up regretting it short after doing it.
“The east stairs lead to the barraks. You’ll find them mostly unguarded.” Loki said and Kurse nodded, then continued on, glad for the inside information. Loki wanted revenge against Thor and Odin – he just hoped that he wasn’t getting more than he hoped for. [“Thor: The Dark World Junior Novelization”]
More explosions occurred aboveground and Loki glanced upward. “Don’t you think you ought to look into that?” he said. Thor scowled at his brother, then strode off toward the stairs. Loki watched his brother leave, a hint of guilt in his eyes. What had he done? [“Thor: The Dark World Junior Novelization”]
So okay, if we count the fact he let Thor believe him he died, and that he was Odin, we’ve a total of 2.
Which leads us to the amazing number of 6.
Now okay, betraying 1 time is 1 time too much but this is not a pattern that pervaded his whole life, this is 2 days in which Loki was not in his right mind due to pain (“Thor”) and a day in which he wanted to avoid being jailed for life as Thor has promised him he would be once they were to get back (“Thor: The Dark World”).
But, but, but, didn’t Loki betrayed and attempted to murder Thor PRIOR to “Thor”? And why aren’t I considering “Thor: Ragnarok” at all?
I mean, in addition to Loki betraying Thor for money, there’s this bit in “Thor: Ragnarok”:
Banner: Okay, can I just... A quick FYI, I was just talking to him just a couple minutes ago and he was totally ready to kill any of us.
Valkyrie: He did try to kill me.
Thor: Yes, me too. On many, many occasions. There was one time when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So, I went to pick up the snake to admire it and he transformed back into himself and he was like, "Yeah, it's me!" And he stabbed me. We were eight at the time. [“Thor – Ragnarok”]
But the problem is to quote Wanda in“WandaVision” when her ‘brother’ talks about their shared childhood, this sort of relationship, well, ‘That’s not exactly how I remember it.’ From the previous movies, interviews, books, novels and extra material, I mean.
But let’s start with order.
So “Thor: Ragnarok”.
Remember Eric Pearson, the guy whose quote I used to start all this?
For start this guy never worked on a script with Thor and Loki previously.
The most he did was to be involved in the “Marvel's The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week” in which Thor and Loki have some cameo appearances.
So let’s hear what he has to say about Thor and Loki’s relation.
“For introductions, working on Thor’s voice was really great just because Hemsworth is great with the script. He actually pulled me aside one morning to talk to me about the Thor and Loki scenes. He pointed out, correctly so, that what I had was retreading a bit of what had already happened in Thor, Thor: The Dark World and The Avengers. We needed to have their relationship exhibit the amount of awareness that it should have after the audience spent so much time with them on screen. So, the Thor and Loki stuff is also some of my favorite.” [A Talk With THOR: RAGNAROK’s Eric Pearson]
So Hemsworth informed his opinion and which opinion has Chris Hemsworth of the whole matter?
Well, his opinion on Thor’s relationship with Loki evolved as time went by… but FIRST let’s focus on how he believed it was their relationship during or prior the “Thor” movie.
“In the very first film Loki and Thor as brothers had a friendship where there was less hatred involved.” [Chris Hemsworth (Thor: The Dark World)]
It’s not terribly explicative but let’s say that they were more or less friends? So his brother wasn’t trying to murder him from childhood? He wasn’t betraying him from childhood?
According to Thom Hiddleston definitely not.
“I think Loki grows up with an older brother who he loves and respects. They play, they banter and they bash each other about, but there is a latent jealousy. Craig Kyle ‐ one of our producers ‐ always used to talk about the analogy of the quarterback and the artist. Thor is the quarterback. He’s a chip off the old block and he’s just like his dad. Loki’s problem is, maybe not his problem, but [that] he’s more drawn to the powers of intellect, magic, and the dark arts. He’s not going to be out in the fields throwing a hammer around. That’s just not where his passion lies. There’s a disconnect with Odin and there’s a disconnect with Thor. He loves them very much, but he’s not just made of the same stalk. In the course of the film there’s a big reveal both for Loki and the audience about the truth of Loki’s true lineage and who his real parents are. I think that begets any jealous that was within him towards Thor develops into a dark, cancerous rage that then becomes a destructive rage.” [“Tom Hiddleston Talks the Love-Hate of Loki and ‘Thor’”]
And the ruining of the coronation? As the movie itself said it was done because he didn’t believe his brother was ready to rule… but let’s also read this bit always from Tom Hiddleston.
“He’s certainly not an anarchist who wants to burn the house down. I think he has an inner conviction. He loves a practical joke, he loves mischief and he loves playing around. He loves starting a bonfire in the next room and hearing people scream, but nobody would be killed.” [“Tom Hiddleston Talks the Love-Hate of Loki and ‘Thor’”]
In short it wasn’t meant to cause any serious harm... same as warning his father was meant to save them. Of the 4 times in “Thor” in which Loki betrays Thor, 2 are not done with evil intentions in mind.
But maybe it’s just Tom Hiddleston?
Nope, we’ve the booklet “Thor: heroes and villains” agree with this.
“Loki is often the voice of reason to Thor’s impulsiveness and is usually relied on to talk his older brother out of sticky situation.” [“Thor: heroes and villains”]
“As Odin’s younger son, Loki has always known the throne of Asgard will never belong to him. He has, however, tried his best to be a good brother to Thor and a son Odin could be proud of.” [“Thor: heroes and villains”]
Then we’ve this in the “Thor” movie:
Sif: He may speak of the good of Asgard, but he's always been jealous of Thor.
Volstagg: We should be grateful to him, he saved our lives.
Hogun: Laufey said there were traitors in the House of Odin. A master of magic could bring three Jotuns into Asgard.
Fandral: Loki's always been one for mischief, but you're talking about something else entirely. [“Thor”]
The group suspects Loki wants to hand Asgard to the Jotuns, but up till the end of the movie Loki will have Asgard’s best interests in mind. His way to pursue them though, by destroying the Jotuns, is beyond ruthless but it’s not traitorous toward Asgard.
Also they’ve nothing against him beyond the fact he was jealous of Thor. They mention no stabbing episode, no murdering attempt no previous betrayal. Loki was jealous and they fear this had caused him to do something extreme. NOW. They’ve nothing they can use against him from the past, their suspects are based on Loki’s jealousy, the fact he’s a wizard and Laufey’s words.
Even the “Thor” novelization, which discusses their relation, doesn’t mention murder attempts prior to the Destroyer thing.
From Thor’s point of view:
“His younger brother has always been something of a mystery to him. While Thor had been eager to spread his wings, fight in battles, and go off on grand adventures, Loki had always been more hesitant. True, he had Thor’s back, but it was often only out of necessity.” [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: Thor”]
From Loki’s point of view:
“Why did he always seem to get into trouble because of his older brother? Wasn’t he supposed to be the wiser one? Odin has expressly forbidden that they enter Jotunheim. Yet it wasn’t the first time Thor had done something reckless. And it wouldn’t be the first time Loki was powerless to stop him.” [“Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: Thor”]
Loki had Thor’s back, albeit he wasn’t happy about it, Thor is the one who causes troubles, everyone knows and in the novel Loki is regularly sent by Sif and the Warriors Three to calm Thor down and make him think.
Long story short Thor and Loki seemed to be originally planned to have a relationship similar to the one they had in “Thor - Tales of Asgard” direct-to-video animated superhero film which came out in the same year as “Thor”.
So, why somehow in “Thor: Ragnarok” it morphed into the one they have in the comics “Thor: Son of Asgard” (2004) if not worse?
Well, somehow Hemsworth’s feelings shifted along the way between “Thor: The Dark World” and “Thor: Ragnarok”. He was aware of how Loki and Thor’s relationship was portrayed in the comics and this bits fits with how in “Thor: Ragnarok” he just wants to tell Loki he didn’t care anymore.
I mean I can’t say too much but I think in the comic books, you kind of roll your eyes sometimes at the amount of times that they’re back to being best friends so we wanted to keep in mind that he did just try to kill you for the seventh time, and Earth and millions of people and what have you, so… [Chris Hemsworth Talks Expanding Beyond Asgard, Building to THE AVENGERS 2, and More on the Set of THOR: THE DARK WORLD]
Without giving too much away, I didn't want to repeat that relationship either. And Tom felt the same. All of us were like, ‘What can we do again here?’ There’s a bit of reversal as far as... In the first films, a lot of the time you’re seeing Thor going, 'Come back Loki, and da-da-da-da.' [But now] there’s a feeling from Thor that’s just like, 'You know what, kid? Do what you want. You’re a screw up. So whatever. Do your thing.' [Chris Hemsworth ‘Thor: Ragnarok’, Embracing the Comedy, the Thor/Loki Relationship and More]
"Ahhh, he's like the girlfriend you break up with and they don't get the message. Like, 'You're dead, sorry, it's over,' and they're coming round to hang the new drapes. "The most poignant moments (of Thor's movies) have been with Loki." [Avengers 4 Endgame: Is Loki ALIVE? Chris Hemsworth gave a massive hint at London fan event]
Until we get to “Avengers: Infinity War” in which he makes clear he believes Loki fooled him time and time again so that he doesn’t want him back…
While the cast share an obvious camaraderie, a void remains after Tom Hiddleston’s Loki died in Infinity War. Would Hemsworth bring back his troublesome onscreen brother if he could?
“No. Why would I do that?” he answers, blankly. “He fooled me time and time again. But on the personal side, I was with Tom since the beginning of this journey and I learned a lot from him.” Hemsworth pauses. “If you’re asking if Thor would bring him back, I think if he could have done he would have. But for me, I don’t know.” [Avengers stars reveal one big downside to the job]
…even if Thor would have (and of course he would have if we’ve to believe Thor’s tears in “Avengers: Infinity War” and his depression in “Avengers: Endgame” are due to Loki’s death and it’s not merely due to how ‘fun’ it is to have a depressed Thor who ends up neglecting his health by drinking too much and getting fat… because being a source of amusement isn’t really a reason why you should introduce a depressed character in a story).
So yes, maybe Pearson didn’t go to the right source of info for Thor and Loki’s relationship.
However, credits when it’s due, the scene about Loki wanting to kill Thor from childhood is not so much due to Pearson or Hemsworth but due to Waititi.
Hewitt: You know, there’s another moment I love, when they have the little huddle about Loki, and he tells the story about how Loki turned into a snake.
Waititi: Yeah, yeah.
Hewitt: And that felt improv’d.
Waititi: Yeah, there was basically- what we did about six different versions of that story, and that was just us standing around, while the cameras are rolling, while I would just feed them lines, and feed Chris ideas for some stories. I was, “Oh, do one, this one, um, say, “I was walking through a field, and I saw a lovely Turkish rug in the middle of the grass, and I love Turkish rugs, so I went to stand on it, and it was Loki, and he turned back into Loki, and it was a hole, and I fell through the hole, and was impaled in the hole, full of spikes”.”
Waititi: As I did all versions of that and I just kept going with- Yeah, the one with the snake just turned out to be the one we used. [Taika Waititi On Screenwriting: An Empire 30th Anniversary Special]
And so how did Waititi envisioned the Thor-Loki dynamics? This is how Waititi describes Thor’s live:
“To be perfectly honest, he’s a rich kid who lives in a castle in outer space. I don’t know any of those people, but I do know people who come from dysfunctional families. He barely talks to his parents — well, his mom’s dead now — his brother is trying to kill him his entire life, and he’s supposed to be king, and he doesn’t want to be a king. A lot of it is also this father-son relationship stuff of him trying to prove himself, or trying to find his own identity, and I really relate to that. My dad was a very big personality in New Zealand and in our area, and I’ve always been trying to do my own thing to separate from him, while at the same time trying to impress him. Which is the story of pretty much all guys, and probably most girls, who are choosing a parent to impress. That was my way in with him.” [“How Taika Waititi Made Thor: Ragnarok So Damn Funny”]
Why Waititi came up with such an idea for their dynamics is up to everyone’s speculation because in itself it’s not important if he actually got told about it by Hemsworth, Pearson or by Brad Winderbaum, who admitted taking inspiration from the comics for “Thor – Ragnarok”…
“I'll tell you the three things we looked at the most. We're pulling a lot stylistically from Kirby [but] we're also looking at the Walt Simonson Ragnarok arc [and]… God of Thunder, the Jason Aaron book.” [How 'Thor: Ragnarok' Honors & Deviates from Its Comics Foundation]
… if this is the result of that 1 short comic he read…
“That’s a thing about me, guys, I did not do my research.” … “I read one issue of Thor as my research. Not even a graphic novel, it was one of the thin-thin ones.” … “And by the end of it, “Hm, well, we’re not doing that”. [Empire Podcast Spoiler Special: Thor: Ragnarok with Taika Waititi]
Waititi wanted to do his own story, not a continuation of the previous movies.
“I was lucky enough they didn’t force me to acknowledge things- there were certain things in the film, like the play, which makes fun of the scene in The Dark World where Loki dies, but there’s a point to that play, sort of to recap what happened, but also to tell the audience, “This is not what you think it’s going to be, this film is not going to be a continuation of that. It’s its own thing, and what you think you expect from this film ends at this play.”” [Empire Podcast Spoiler Special: Thor: Ragnarok with Taika Waititi]
This is not the point where I discuss what I think of this idea of stepping all over the previous movies to create a ‘new Thor’ that the Russo brothers proceeded to dismantle in the next movie.
In 2010 Feige was already on board with the idea ‘the movie comes first’ and the ‘connective tissue’ is fun and very important if you want it to be.
“It's never been done before and that's kind of the spirit everybody's taking it in. The other filmmakers aren't used to getting actors from other movies that other filmmakers have cast, certain plot lines that are connected or certain locations that are connected but I think for the most part, in fact, entirely everyone was on board for it and thinks that its fun. Primarily because we've always remained consistent saying that the movie that we are making comes first. All of the connective tissue, all of that stuff is fun and is going to be very important if you want it to be. If the fans want to look further and find connections than they're there. There are a few big ones obviously, that hopefully the mainstream audience will able to follow as well. But the most important thing and I think the reason that all the filmmakers are on board is that their movies need to stand on their own. They need to have a fresh vision, a unique tone and the fact that they can interconnect if you want to follow those breadcrumbs is a bonus.” [Kevin Fiege Talks Iron Man 2, The Avengers and More]
“Thor – Ragnarok” merely took it to an extreme, retconning a lot from the original to the point some feel “Thor – Ragnarok” is a parallel universe compared to the previous 4 movies, with its own canon.
So when they needed a joke they didn’t bother checking the previous canon, they just needed a joke and so they added that scene, and it somehow got so popular it got referenced in two novels, sorta, even if in both gets ‘adapted’.
Once he was in the room, the servant girl would likely go unnoticed enough to eavesdrop – certainly less noticed than a snake, which had been his initial plan, and which was easier to imitate than an Asgardian. But snakes tended to gather attention – Thor would pick up any serpent to admire it. [“Loki- Where mischief lies”]
In “Loki – Where mischief lies” by Mackenzi Lee the stabbing isn’t included, the book only keep Thor’s fascination for snakes and his habit to pick them up… but the scene couldn’t have happened when they were children as Loki is a teen in the book and has learnt only recently to use shapeshifting magic.
In “The pirate angel, the talking tree and captain rabbit” by Steve Behling the scene is partially retconned as well.
Where in the movie is played as a clear murder attempt in the book we’ve the same story but in a different contest.
“Hey, what did I tell you about insulting our guest?” Rocket scolded, shaking his head. “If anyone’s gonna do any insulting around here, it’s gonna be me.”
Groot looked at Rocket, and enacted an impressive-albeit obnoxious-imitation of the same sneet that Rocket used on Thor just few second earlier.
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Rocket warned.
“I mean it! You wanna have tablet privileges revocked for a week, you go right ahead and finish that though.”
If Groot had pockets, he would have showed his limbs stubbornly into them, turned around grumbling, and walked away. As it was, he didn’t, so after a moment’s stare-off with Rocket he simply muttered, “I am Groot,” then ambled away.
“He’s in an awkward phase,” Rocket said to Thor by way of explanation, turning his attention to the master control panel.
“Adolescence is never easy,” Thor said looking over Rocket’s shoulder. “I remember when Loki and I were children. Loki transformed himself into a snake, and because I really, really love snake, I went to pick it up. But the moment I did, the snake transformed back into Loki, and then he stabbed me.”
It was at least ten second before Rocket spoke. And when he finally did, he sighed and said, “Why do I have the feeling you tell this story a lot? Like, A LOT.”
Thor smiled wanly. “Maybe a few times,” he acknowledged.
“I bet this Loki gets a big kick out of it every time you tell it,” Rocket said, chuckling.
The thin smile on Thor’s face quickly fell.
“Not anymore,” were the only words Thor could manage before he turned away. [“The pirate angel, the talking tree and captain rabbit”]
While in “Thor: Ragnarok” this story seems to be a proof Loki is an homicidal maniac because it’s compared to him wanting to kill Banner and Valkyrie and therefore, despite the idea this is a joke, make the whole matter a serious business, here Loki’s actions are compared to the ones of a teenager tree wanting to insult someone else and being told not to. It seems one of those stupid things little kids do in anger, or thinking it’s just a game, without really understanding the consequences they could have (=killing someone). Thor seems to almost brag about it, as if it was a funny childhood tale about the idiotic things they did as kids, not a cautious tale against his brother and the risks of trusting him.
It’s still a story that’s clearly out of character for how Loki was meant to be PRIOR to “Thor”, but at least now it’s better inserted in the contest and can fit vaguely more with the previous canon.
But whatever, that’s it.
So, in a way, we’ve two universes, one is the Pre-Ragnarok one, in which Loki prior to Thor loved his brother and had a good relation with him, and the other is the Ragnarok one, in which Loki wanted him dead from childhood.
It’s something a part of the fandom is well aware of, but also something another part of the fandom is ABSOLUTELY unaware of.
I’m not going to tell you which universe you’ve to favour, if the one in which Loki loved Thor or the one in which he wanted him dead, that’s up to your personal preference.
But if you’re among the many who’re still confused about why the fandom has split opinions about the relationship between the brothers… well, that’s a summary of the history behind it all.
Honestly, with the incoming “Thor – Love and Thunder” and “Loki” series, I’ve no idea what will be the future of it all. Waititi will probably want to go back to his “Thor – Ragnarok” continuity… unless he wants to reinvent Thor all over again so we’ll get another additional universe for Strange to enjoy in his upcoming “Doctor Strange in the multiverse of madness”… in addition to the universes created in “Avengers – Endgame” when the characters changed the past and the ones Loki will be creating in “Loki”.
Sorry, Doctor Strange, I guess you’ll have your hands full.
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A Loki x reader fan fiction
Summary: You’re the goddess of healing and you’ve settled into a life of serving the Frost Giants, that is until Loki shows up and reveals a world beyond the frozen realm. Can you heal the god of mischief?
Warnings: Imprisonment, mentions of death
Chapter Four: Grief
Denial. He wasn’t hurt, he was okay… even though you could sense that he was injured with your entire being from inside this room, you decided he had to be okay. “What the hell is going on?!” You raged, slamming yourself into the large door that wouldn’t budge. This had never happened before, as a healer if Loki were to be hurt, you’d warp to him. That’s how your abilities worked, yet here you were, trapped in this room. How could Loki do this to you? Your throat was sore from yelling at the door so you eventually collapsed on the bed and just waited, making your reality worse by thinking back to everything sweet Loki did for you, like your brain was sifting through memories, trying to make it make sense.
You weren’t sure how long you’d been laying there for, but the handle of the door turned and you jolted up. “Hello?! Loki?!” You called, hearing a frustrated growl through the door and a very loud bang on it. Your eyes widened and you backed as far as you could from it. “Why the hell can’t I get in my room?!” The voice boomed. Thor. His behaviour escalated before Frigga scurried over, after all lightning wouldn’t exactly work against a binding spell now would it? “My dear please, allow me.” The voice was muffled, you could hardly hear her as she explained who you were to Loki, why you were in the room and worked on unlocking the spell herself.
Watching them walk in, you opened your mouth to demand answers… but the look on Thor’s face stopped you and you found yourself frozen on the spot. Loki was trying to kill Thor; Thor returns without Loki. You shook your head at your own thoughts, just refusing to acknowledge the thought as the oversized man sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the floor. “GRAHHH!” He screamed, throwing the chair by the bed across the room before feeling defeat and slumping back down. You didn’t dare turn around, hearing the sounds of quiet sobs from Frigga as she attempted to collect herself for her son’s sake. You remained calm, quiet, and stared at Thor until he acknowledged you, he owed you answers. As his eyes slowly trailed up to meet your eyes, a tear fell from his, but with all the evidence before you, you denied the truth. “Thor.” You started quietly, stopping to swallow the lump in your throat. He knew what it was that you were going to ask, nodding slowly before standing and putting a hand on your shoulder. “Loki… is gone, I’m sorry.”
Anger. The words set you off like the shot of a gun, smacking his hand off of your shoulder as if you could do damage to the god. “What do you mean gone?” You asked with more severity in your tone, hands shaking. “He’s dead.” He whispered, confirming it. You had him for a little over three weeks, and in that short amount of time you had never felt so free, this wasn’t fair! You wanted more of it, more strolls through the garden, story times in the library. The guilt racked over you with the weight of a crashing wave, you bound yourself to him as a healer and you didn’t save him… you couldn’t save him! You’d been standing there in silence, hearing the pulsing of your heartbeat in your ears until you quickly turned on your heel and ran. You blamed yourself, you knew for a fact had you been there, he’d be alive. You just met the man, you failed on your first opportunity to heal him and it angered you to your core.
You ran until you found the gardens, collapsing onto the bench you spent your first day on. As you gasped for air, lungs burning as they expanded and contracted, you glanced around at all the memory filled flowers. You spent a lifetime on Jotunheim, lost your mother to the frost giants, served a frost giant like a slave… this was supposed to be your fairy tale ending with a golden prince.
Bargaining. “Please!” You cried at the clear sky, yelling at the quiet whisps of wind blowing by. “I…I can bring him back, that’s what I do right? I’ll just heal him, there’s probably a book on this…” You muttered, you’d rather distract yourself than face the fact that your future was unknown, the person you’d grown an attachment too was gone, and his family were in shambles. You marched your way to the large library and began picking books off the shelves, anything to do with magic and healing. You stopped and stared at the windowsill Loki used to sit on, narrowing your eyes in determination before climbing up onto the windowsill and opening the first book to look through it. Hours quickly turned into days, a small plate of food untouched beside you as you read through yet another book and wrote some things down on a scroll.
“Which book is it this time?” Frigga asked quietly, you weren’t sure how long she’d been standing there for. “Soul magic, the power in your soul is different than the magic on Asgard, there may be a way to do a resurrection spell using it.” You muttered tiredly, flipping to the next page. “Soul magic is dangerous, pick a spell that you are not strong enough to cast and you’ll die. Pick a spell that requires double the soul power than what you possess and you may kill others as well… there’s a reason it’s in the dark magic section.” She answered lightly, concerned for your well-being as she confiscated the book from your hands. She cupped your face with her hands and smiled sweetly, you could tell the pain of losing her son was still crippling, you could see it in her eyes, yet she smiled through it. “Y/N… Eir… it’s time to let go.” She insisted, the very thing you were avoiding to feel came creeping up.
Depression. You stared in sorrow, settling into the reality of her words and feeling a sense of hopelessness as she moved on. “When you’re ready, I’d like for you to be Thor’s companion… maybe visit Midgard, see the world, discover new things.” Was she just giving up? You didn’t want to be Thor’s companion; you didn’t want to go see the world… “I’m not ready.” You said softly, giving her a small smile to show that you meant no harm in your words. You hopped down from the windowsill and walked away, walking up to your new room, a smaller room down the hall from the prince’s bedrooms. Gripping the door handle, you paused… eventually letting it go and walking to Loki’s room instead. Something heavy just pulled at your heart, weighing you down as you took in the sight of the empty ghostly room. You slowly made your way to the silk sheets and collapsed into the bed, rolling onto your side and staring emptily at the wall.
Acceptance. You took a few days to think, in a room soaked in the memory of Loki. Frigga was right, you could be helping people, you could be helping Thor. You could see the world, like Loki wanted you to. You decided that you’d bind yourself to Thor and become his healer…
They say there are 5 stages of grief, the emotions consume you… they’re alarms ringing in your head to warn you of the pain, but with all that noise in your head, did you stop to think about the fact that your magic contract was still in place? Now how could that be possible if Loki were dead… Your jaw slacked, sitting back down on the bed you stood from as the realization washed over you. “Oh my god…” Your heart began to race as you closed your eyes and focused on your magic, lifting your shaky hands and looking up at the gold Norse writing circled above you. Your contract, it was still perfectly in place, so Loki HAD to be alive. “Oh my god!” You exclaimed, joy quickly leaving, because where was he then?
You pulled a dress on as quickly as possible and ran down the hall to go and find Thor, checking just about everywhere until you found him sparring in the training ground. Good. You were dying for a minute to catch your breath before speaking to him. You looked up as someone handed you a water canteen, taking it and drinking some. “Heimdall, thanks.” You said, hearing him ask why you were here and in such a rush, you sunk down slightly. You had been in such a panic to find him, but this wasn’t the place or time, as eager as you were in your discovery. Walking up to someone training to bring up their dead brother would be a bit of a mood destroyer. “Heimdall, can I ask you something…? About Loki.” You clarified, at least he wasn’t busy sparring.
Nodding, he turned to slowly walk down the path with you as you talked. “How did he die?” You asked quietly. “He fell from the rainbow bridge.” He answered sympathetically. “Did you see where he landed?” You asked and he stopped walking. “Y/N, he would have frozen in space.” He explained. “But can you see him? do you know where he is? Surely, you’d be able to see his… uh, dead body.” You pushed, he looked at you sadly. “Y/N, I’m sorry… he’s gone. It’s been over a week; I don’t think I’d even be able to find him.” But he wasn’t gone, you weren’t crazy… he was out there.
How exactly did you think you’d find him without the help of Heimdall and Thor… especially since the one that could see everything was insisting that he was dead and gone. Should you trust that? Surely he looked over Loki when it happened over a week ago, but you knew what you felt, you knew what you saw. The contract was still intact. That was proof enough to bring the matter to Thor, right? Because if you didn’t, well who knows what would happen to the lost god. “Y/N!” You heard from down the path, speak of the devil… “I’ll see you around, Heimdall.” You answered, turning and walking over to Thor. “I saw you waiting for me, was there something you needed?” He asked.
You opened your mouth to speak before sensing pain, the same exact sense you got when Thor and Loki were fighting over a week ago. “Y/N?” He asked, Loki was being hurt, you could sense it… question was, who the hell was hurting him and where was he? Thor was standing right in front of you, but you couldn’t speak, consciousness fading on you… You were about to warp to him, thing is… you needed to tell Thor what you knew. “L… Lo-“ You tried, so hard, Thor may be your only hope, Loki’s only hope… but you couldn’t speak. Darkness slowly took you as you toppled over, Thor tried to catch you, eyes widening when you didn’t fall to the ground… you fell through it.
Your eyes remained closed, in a sleeping state as you fell through space, almost like you were Astral Projecting because you were flowing through anything in your path. As your body drew closer and closer to Loki, you began to see things behind your closed eyelids. A rocky land, a throne room, Loki hunched over at a pair of feet, a Titan… Every fairy tale has a villain, but is the villain of this story Loki? Or were you about to meet the villain?
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